#and her terrible brother avoids her all the time!!! she needs someone to help her out and ease her stress

[diabeticgirl4]

I normally don't say this about characters I love but I rly hope matt gives cassandra a love interest before the end of the campaign

[mavsstar]

𝑀𝑦 𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑃𝑒𝑎

Summary ︱Mr. Levinson lives right next door to you, the sweet, innocent college girl. Little do you know that you're Mr. Levinson's favorite neighbor. He's there every chance you need the slightest of help, maybe a little too much.

Pairings︱Mechanic!Ari Levinson x Innocent!Fem!Reader, Robert Pronge x Innocent!Fem!Reader

W.C︱4k

Warnings︱18+ MINORS DNI, Trailer Park AU, it's pretty tame for right now, pet names (Sweet Pea),cursing, reader is scared of Pronge, masturbation (m!) and I think that is all the warnings. Let me know if I missed any!

Author's note︱I am very excited for this series :) This is set around the 90s just because I feel like it fits better with the idea I have going on in my head. It has been awhile since I've written anything so I'm hoping it's not too terrible. I hope you will enjoy this! Feedback is appreciated! Follow my side blog and turn on post notifications :D

“Did you see Mr. Levinson today?” your Mother’s friend, Valerie, asked while wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Nope,” you instantly responded. “Have you?” 

“Already got my dose of that sexy man.” She smirked while winking at you. 

Ari Levinson towered everyone he’s ever met. He stood at a proud 6'6. It was hard to miss the luscious brown locks that fell over his face and the cerulean blue eyes that you could never find your way out of. His beard adorned his jaw and hid the pump rose colored lips he held.

Even when he was doused in motor oil and dirt he was still a beautiful man. He was your neighbor and very well known at the trailer park. Ari was a woman’s walking wet dream come to life. 

“He’s already up?” you asked as your eyes bulged out of your head. “It’s like 6 in the morning.” 

“Of course he’s up, he’s having his morning coffee.” 

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Only you would know that stalker.”

“It’s not stalking Y/N, it's called being an astute observer,” she retorted. “That’s besides the point, shouldn’t you be heading out by now?” 

“I should be but…” you started to answer, looking out the window cautiously, “I have a feeling you know who is outside.”

“If you don’t leave now you’ll be late for work which by the way is in 20 minutes,” she reminded you, pointing towards the clock. 

“Please don’t remind me.” You internally groaned as you threw your head back and rubbed your eyes. 

After a few moments you finally decided to lift yourself from the couch and head your way out. Goosebumps arose on your arms as you opened the front door. You hated this kind of weather, you couldn’t be without a sweater in the morning but by 3pm you’d be sweating like a dog. You shrugged on your brother's jacket, not bothering to zip it up and closed the front door.

Just as you predicted, the person you dreaded seeing most was standing right outside, Mr. Pronge. 

Robert Pronge was your neighbor and lived right across from you. Ever since you moved in he formed the bad habit of staring at you and hitting on you like there’s no tomorrow. From what you heard he was a sick sadistic bastard who liked to torture girls with pleasure. He’s had many lovers enter the trailer but seemingly none of them come back.  

You didn’t like the way he makes you feel. It felt like a hungry lion stalking its predator, ready to pounce at any moment’s notice. At the same time you couldn’t help but feel hot. Everytime he was near you, your heart raced from the fear and you felt a pulse in between your legs. 

“Morning Princess!” Mr. Pronge called out from his front lawn.

“Good morning Mr. Pronge!” You greeted back but only to be polite. You tried to avoid looking too much at him and instead looked towards the ground. 

You heard shoes beating against the ground and you prayed with all your heart that it was someone else running. Luck was not on your side that morning. When you looked up it was the one and only Mr. Pronge. 

“Where are you going Princess?” he asked. His breath was minty fresh even though his appearance would say otherwise. 

“To work,” you bluntly replied, trying to open your car door. 

“Aw Princess, don’t be like that,” he cooed. Once you did get your car door open, he immediately slammed it closed, almost smashing your finger in the process. “I’ll give you a ride. Come on, let's go.” 

“I appreciate the offer Mr. Pronge but I can take myself,” you insisted while attempting to reopen your car door. 

“Princess…” he warningly said.

Mr. Pronge didn’t like it when people told him no. The word no did not exist in his world. 

“I said I’ll give you a ride.” 

“Leave her alone Robert!” Ari yelled from his porch, causing the both of you to turn around. “She’s probably late for work!” 

Mr. Pronge sighed as he stepped back in defeat. “I’ll take you next time Princess.” 

You internally groaned at his comment. He could never leave you alone. Every morning he would play this game with you. On the bright side, you were one of the very few people allowed to tell him no and get away with it. 

“Thank you Mr. Levinson!” you yelled as you got in the car. 

“Anytime!” Ari walked over to Robert after you drove off. Though his eyes never peeled off from you the entire time. 

“You’re always in my way,” Robert playfully commented. 

Ari chuckled at the jab. Ari always had to save you from him every morning without fail. “Rob, how many times have I told you to leave the poor girl alone?” He asked as he brought his cup of coffee to his lips. 

“I will never leave her alone,” he answered with a proud smirk. “Not until I make her mine.” 

“Oh please! You’re old!” Ari jabbed at him. “She’s going to want a hot 20 year old guy not some 40 year old.” 

“Her father was not present in her life.” 

“What does that have to do with anything?!” Ari asked, confused at Robert’s statement.

“The girl has major daddy issues, Ari,” Robert said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “All I gotta do is caress her a bit, say sweet nothings in her ear and bam! She will fall in love with me.”

“Do that and she will call the cops on you.” 

“I’d like to see her try,” Robert remarked as he crossed his arms across his chest. “Besides, why do you care?” 

“Because her mother is really starting to get concerned and-” 

“Oh that's why you’re concerned!” Robert hooted. “You want to fuck the mom!” 

“I do not want to have sex with her mom,” Ari declared with a serious tone. “The woman is stressed enough and I feel bad for her and I feel bad for the girl. I see her peek her head out of the door every morning to avoid you.” 

“Ari?” 

“Yes Rob?” 

“Mind your business.” 

The following morning was the same dreadful routine. You were trying to stall, not wanting to face Mr. Pronge though you knew he would be there. He always was. Even when you would try to leave at an earlier time. It’s like he would sleep there and wait for you. 

 Your mother shoved your car keys in your hand. “Sweetie, you need to go now before you’re late.”

“But what if he’s out there?” you asked with a slight hint of fear. 

“Is he still bothering you?!” she questioned, her overprotectiveness coming out. “I’ve had enough, I’m going out there.” 

“No! No! No!” you instantly said, jolting your hands out to stop her from taking another step. “Please don’t say anything. Mom please!” 

Your pleads were granted. She stayed still as she squinted at the window, sending a silent threat to Mr. Pronge.

“Fine,” she said. “But If I hear or even get the feeling, I’m going to rip his nutsack and his stupid smirk off of him.” 

“Wow,” you said with your eyes bulging out in shock.

“Sweetie, you’re too nice and a little bit–how can I put this?” she sarcastically questioned herself as she tilted her head to the side. “Oh yeah, you’re naive.” 

“I am not naive,” you muttered under your breath, offended. 

“Yes you are,” she said as she was walking out of the living room. “Now go to work!” 

You grabbed your bag from the couch and swung it over your shoulder. Your hand went on the doorknob, turning it to open the door. You peek your head out to see if you’re one and only was out there waiting for you. 

“He’s not there Sweet Pea!” Ari exclaimed. “You’re safe, you can come out!” 

“Thanks!” you yelled from the door, fully stepping out. You confidently walked over to your car, happy Mr. Pronge wasn’t outside to terrorize you. Your happiness was soon cut off when you saw a complete flat tire. 

“Dang it!” you cursed to yourself. You peered down at your watch, it was 6:41 A.M. You were trying to calculate how much time it would take to go on the bus and you heard the dreadful sound of boots hitting the road. 

“Oh no,” you internally whined. 

“Got a flat, Princess?” Mr. Pronge sarcastically asked. “I’ll give you a ride.”

Ari quickly stepped in. “Robert no.” You didn’t even hear him walk over to you. You looked at Ari in shock and sent a cry for help at the same time. “Leave her alone.” 

“She needs a ride, I’m giving her a ride. What is the problem?” he challenged, taking a step closer to him. 

“You’re not taking her.” 

Robert straightened his back and puffed his chest out. “And why not?” 

“Because I’m taking her. She was just getting something from her car.” Ari grabbed your bag from your hand and placed his hand on your lower back. “Lets go Sweet Pea,” he said as he guided you to his car, opening the door for you and handing you back your bag. 

Robert stood in shock. Ari was taking you. And you let him. Though he couldn’t say he wasn’t impressed, he was just wondering how he did it. That lucky bastard. 

The inside of his truck was bigger than you ever imagined. It was dirty and there were oil stains everywhere you looked. Wrenches were scattered across the floor along with bolts and lug nuts. The only thing that was almost impeccable was the air freshener hanging off the rearview mirror but there were five oil stained fingerprints on it.

“Thank you for the ride Mr. Levinson, you didn’t have to take me. I could've taken the bus.” 

“Don’t even mention it Sweet Pea,” Ari said. “Plus I don’t think you wanted to ride with Rob now did you?” 

“No,” you answered as you shook your head. “He scares me.” 

“He scares you?” Ari repeated, barely shocked. 

“Mhm,” you confirmed with a small hum. “He’s really big and mean. Everyone says he’s the nicest to me and if that’s true I don’t want to see him when he’s mad.” 

“It’s true, he’s the nicest to you.” Ari found it weird when Robert wouldn’t constantly yell at you like he did with other people but he can see why. You’re the sweetest thing ever.

“Is that all?” 

“Mr. Pronge used to bring women and–and they would come out screaming and crying. It frightened me.” 

Robert used to bring women over all the time. They wouldn’t last for too long. They would run out of the house screaming all kinds of profanities after 3 weeks. You’ll never forget the moment a woman came to your house and asked if you had anything sharp. You gave her one of the knives from the kitchen. 5 minutes later the word asshole was embedded on the side of his car in big, bold letters. 

You’ll also never forget the time another woman came to your trailer. She screamed while she banged on the door like a madman. When you opened the door she had red hand prints on her body and a barely carved ‘R’ on her exposed hip. She asked you to hide her because he was coming. Sure enough a minute later Mr. Pronge came, demanding you to show him where she was hiding. Luckily your brother was there to kick him out.

He could see why you were scared. Hell even that scared him a couple of times. For some reason Ari didn’t like the thought of you being scared. Hell, he could barely deal with the fact how uncomfortable Mr. Pronge made you. 

When you approached the building Ari parked the car and exited out, lightly jogging over to your side and opening your door for you. He held out his hand to you to help you out of the truck, your hand delicately gripped his and he could feel the rush of dopamine releasing in his body. 

“Thank you again Mr. Levinson!” you beamed with a bright smile. You raised yourself on your tippy toes and slightly bounced to place a thank you kiss on his cheek. 

An unexplainable warmth rushed through him. The action was short and sweet but it made him feel weak in the knees. He would get cheek kisses from women quite a lot but it never felt like this. 

“Anytime Sweet Pea.” He felt himself staring at your eyes for a little bit too long. He forced himself to look anywhere else for a brief second, making sure you didn’t grow uncomfortable. “What time do you want me to pick you up?” 

“Oh it’s okay Mr. Levinson, I can take the bus or have my brother pick me up.” 

“Are you sure?” he asked you again. 

You nodded your head. “Thank you again! You’re a lifesaver.” 

“Don’t even mention it,” he waves off. 

You muttered a small goodbye to Mr. Levinson before taking off into the diner. He watched you go in with a small smile on his face.

 Even though this was your first real interaction, he knew he wasn’t going to get enough of you. You were the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. The whole way back he thought of you. You were like a deadly plague in his mind. A beautiful, rose scented, warm plague. 

Luckily your brother was able to pick you up after he got off of work. The next bus was going to come within another hour. When your brother picked you up, he was agitated. 

“What happened to your tire?” your older brother asked, not amused at all.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged your shoulders. “I went outside this morning and it had a flat.” 

“I helped Mr. Levinson changed the tire, it had 4 nails,” he said in a matter of fact one. “4.” he repeated as he held four fingers in the air. 

“I’m sorry,” you weakly apologized. 

“You need to pay more attention where you’re driving.”  

“I didn’t mean to drive over the nails. There weren’t even any when I drove yesterday!” you protested. “I only drove to the library which is 2 minutes away.” 

“So they magically appeared?” he sarcastically asked. “Just pay attention please.” 

“I will.” 

“You left your bus pass on the table this morning. How did you get to work? ” he questioned you. “Mr. Pronge didn’t take you, did he?” He turned to glance at you with a worried look. 

“No, Mr. Levinson did,” you told your brother.

“Did you make it on time?” He quickly glanced at you again, “because you are horrible at giving directions.” 

“Hey!” you barked at him. “I am not horrible at giving directions.” 

“Yes you are.” 

“Well lucky for me I didn’t even have to tell him, he already knew where to go,” you responded, “sure did save me the hassle.” 

“Did you thank him?” 

“Of course I did, I’m not rude,” you responded, half hurt he would think that of you. 

The rest of the ride was short but your brother took the remaining 4 minute drive to lecture you once again to pay attention. You tried to zone him out but he would snap at you, telling you to listen. You knew he did it to annoy you, it was simply too easy to annoy you. 

When you arrived at home, you jumped out of the car to look at the tire. Sure you had no idea what you were even looking at but it never hurt. You bent down to look at it and you noticed one thing. It wasn’t patched up like before. It was brand new. 

“Are you coming in?” your brother asked you. 

You turned to look at him. “Yeah, I just have to do something really quick.” 

“Don’t take too long, I’ll be done cooking in 10 minutes.” 

“I promise,” you told him before he went inside. 

You took out a sticky note, a pen and 50 dollars that took you 4 days to earn. You used the hood of your car as a desk and wrote a sweet but short thank you on the sticky note. Afterwards you walked over to his house and placed it under the surprisingly alive flower pot he had on his front porch. 

The both of you didn’t see each other for almost 2 days. You got overwhelmed with work that you barely were in the house. It wasn’t until Ari caught you late at the laundromat. 

“Sweet Pea?”

You turned around at the sound of your name. “Oh hi Mr. Levinson,” you greeted him with a huge smile. 

“What are you doing here so late?” he asked you though he could barely pay any attention to you at the moment. You wore a thin pastel pink cardigan with a pearly white nightgown that had a bow at the valley of your breasts.

“I forgot to do my laundry this morning and I didn’t have time so I came here after work,” you told him. 

“Isn’t it a little late to be working?” he questioned you. 

“I’ve been picking up other shifts at work,” you said, “it doesn’t help having the extra money.” 

“Speaking of money,” he began to say as he took out the fifty you gave him from his front pocket of his flannel, “you left this on my porch.” 

“Yeah it’s for you,” you innocently said, “I noticed the tire is brand new and I’m 90% sure my brother forgot to pay you.” 

“It’s your money, I’m not taking it. Here.” He passed the money back to you but you refused. 

“Keep it, you changed my tire and I’m paying you for your service.” 

“I really can’t—” 

“Please,” you begged him with puppy eyes. 

You pulled at his heartstrings. It agonized him, he didn’t want to take your money but he also didn’t want to make you sad. But he kept it anyway and stuffed it back into the front pocket of his flannel. 

“What are you doing here so late?” you asked him as you bent down and took out your now dry clothes. 

His eyes peered down for a quick second and he saw the nightgown riding up, revealing your baby blue panties. His throat went dry and he fought hard to keep his gaze up but it found itself looking back down. 

“I–I realized I forgot to wash my work clothes.” 

“I hate when that happens.” You came back up after you pulled out the last piece of clothing. “Then I’m stuck getting yelled at by the manager when I come in with the wrong clothes.” 

Ari chuckled to avoid an awkward silence. Really it was to refrain himself from stuttering or making a fool out of himself. In his head he wanted to compliment you and how pretty your nightgown was but the words wouldn’t leave the tip of his tongue. 

He took a deep breath before he spoke. “You look pretty in your nightgown,” he quickly muttered out. 

Your eyes lit up at his compliment. “Thank you Mr. Levinson. It’s pretty but I don’t think I’ll keep it.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“It always rides up and by morning it’s all the way up here,” you pointed to your upper stomach.

Oh what he would give to be a fly in the room in the morning. He quickly changed the conversation, it was obvious you were too oblivious to what you were doing to him. Your sweet voice and innocence were driving him insane but he loved it, he secretly wanted more. 

The both of you left the laundromat 40 minutes later. He insisted on carrying your basket for you. You both walked side by side. You were busy trying to keep up with him while he was busy looking down at your breasts. 

“Thank you for carrying my basket Mr. Levinson,” you thanked him as you took your basket from him when you got to your front porch.

“Anytime Sweet Pea.”

You kissed his cheek once again to seal your thank you. “Sweet dreams Mr. Levinson.”

“Sweet dreams honey,” he repeated to you. 

Ari was in a rush to get back to his trailer but a dear beloved friend was waiting for him. 

“Well would you look at that?” Robert sarcastically asked him. “She gave you a kiss on the cheek.” 

“Not now Robert,” Ari pleaded, dying to get back into his place. 

“What’s the big rush to get back home?” Robert crossed his arms as he smirked, “I see you’re sporting a hard on. Surely it can’t be because of her. Right?” 

“Oh shut your trap.” 

“It is, isn't it?!” he gawked. 

“No it’s not!” Ari protested. 

“Oh really?” Robert Challenged as he squinted his eyes.

“I was about to get lucky with Kim before she came into the laundromat and interrupted us,” Ari quickly lied. 

“So you waited for her to be done then walked her back?” Robert questioned Ari. 

“Of course I did,” he scoffed, “otherwise she would’ve ran into you. Not to mention she’s terrified of you, fuckin’ creep.” 

“Whatever. She wants me, I know it,” Robert boasted. 

“Yeah in jail.” 

Robert rolled his eyes and walked back to his trailer while Ari walked back into his. He immediately locked the door behind him and dropped the basket on the floor. 

“Oh thank god,” Ari hissed as he unzipped his painfully tight pants. 

His cock was rock hard and had been for the past 20 minutes. The pants barely gave him any friction and if anything, made it worse. He palmed himself through his boxers and moaned in relief. 

All he can think about is you in the short nightgown and how he’s never been this hard before. Sure he’s been turned on but it was nothing compared to this. It was like he was a horny spazzy teenager all over again. 

He freed his cock from his boxers and sharply inhaled at the impact of the cold air. The tip of his cock was bright red and oozing with precum. He used his thumb to spread his precum and use it as lube.  

His eyes screwed shut in bliss when he began pumping up and down. He tried to think of the porn he watched three days ago but instead you kept popping up. He imagined you being here with him, helping him out. 

“Does that hurt?” you ask him as you point to his angry, leaking cock. 

“It does Sweet Pea,” he rasped out. 

“Was it because of me?” you innocently ask him as you bat your lashes. 

“Yes,” he admits. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” you apologize to him. “Let me help you,” you tell him as you take his cock into your tiny, warm hand. 

“Oh Sweet Pea,” he moans out. 

“You’re s-so bi-big,” you sputter out, slowly pumping him up and down. “Does that feel better?”

He doesn’t have the strength to talk so instead he nods eagerly. “G-Go a little bit faster.”

You obey him and start pumping faster. His moans fill the room as he gets lost in the pleasure you’re giving him. Your hand is cramping but you don’t care, anything to make him feel good. 

“Sweet Pea, I-I’m about to cum,” he warns you. 

You get down on your knees while you still pump him. “Let it all go,” you seductively say as you open your mouth. 

Ari was brought back to reality when his high overtook him and he orgasmed. It was so intense his thighs started to shake. He continued pumping and pumping until he got too sensitive he had to stop.

He stood there with his cum dripping down his hand and secretly wishing you were there to help clean it all up. The realization had hit him hard, he needed you.

[loggiepj]

To Love A Lannister

chapter 9 | chapter 10

You had always thought being betrothed to the one you love would finally make you happy. The one you'd remember as you grew old. A memory you'd cherish forever.

Yet you never thought it would be a complete torture — wanting someone who doesn't want you. Not even a bit.

Queen Mother Cersei continued to ignore you through the days that come, as if you were a common guest in the Red Keep. Queen Margaery however, were already talking nonstop with you, asking how the two of you first met and interacted with each other.

Everyone had apparently heard the news. Tommen had avoided you. Jaime looked bitter everytime you saw him at dining halls and hear his father Lord Tywin discuss your engagement to Cersei and where to hold such event.

The Tyrells did not take it lightly at first, but knowing Ser Loras' character, the decision was for the best. In fact, the Tyrell Lord was happy he was set free from marrying the vicious queen, he'd always talk about inviting you both to see Highgarden to spend time as newlyweds.

Of course, there was always the talk about your sexuality and your special appendage, and you knew Cersei was shamed about all of it as she kept shoving glass of wine into her mouth, as if she needed to be drunk for that kind of conversation. You knew then her father meant this proposal as her punishment. And yours.

Tommen was crowned as King the following day, finally diminishing the gossip.

Yet, the continuing appearance of Jaime inside Cersei's chambers, or along side her at times, never not following her, only made your blood boil. Even after the engagement, he knew how to make you furious, he knew what was your weakest point.

One time you even stopped Jaime by holding unto his fake hand, making him almost stumble. He was about to follow Cersei into her chambers once again. You knew he was part of the Kingsguard, yet it didn't sit well on you for him to guard Cersei. You'd request Lord Tywin to change that once you had the courage.

"What are you doing?" you spat, glaring at the golden haired man.

"Following the Queen—"

"You don't have to do that," you interjected, maintaining your hold. "I trust another loyal Kingsguard can do your job."

He then laughed. "Are you jealous I might start another scandal?"

"You—"

"He's my Queensguard and my brother, Lady Y/n," Cersei spoke, making you both glance her way. "Let him go."

You swallowed a lump in your throat before your grasp weaken.

~~~

"I hear congratulations are in order," Tyrion said, laughing. "Here I thought you had listened to my advice. Yet you had to wear the noose or lay your head down unto the guillotine."

You sighed as you looked at the ground, kicking dirt after dirt. With nothing else to do and nowhere else to hide, you decided to visit Tyrion in his cells in the castle's dungeons.

"I . . . I don't know what I'm going to do," you said. "I . . . I have sent a raven to ask for my father's help. She . . . She doesn't . . . doesn't return my feelings."

"See, I told you she's cruel."

"I . . . I have loved her, you know. I . . . I know she has done terrible things in life, but I. . . I still find myself at a loss of words around her. My heart would still skip a beat every time she's near me. And I hate it. She's . . . She's my weakness and I hate it."

Tyrion looked at you sympathetically. "She's always adored when she doesn't deserve it."

You only stayed silent. Tyrion observed your dilemma and sighed. "I was once betrayed by the one I truly loved."

You glanced at him. "Surely you're not talking about Sansa—"

"No, no." He laughed. "Shae. She's a whore. I fell in love with a whore. And I truly believed my feelings were reciprocated. I should've trusted my gut that it was all a farce. I thought she was different. I thought she'd love a dwarf like me. Funny how that turned out when she told the court the other day how I was guilty in killing Joffrey."

You both stayed silent for a moment, regretting about your past actions.

"I mean, it can't be that bad, right?" you asked expectantly. "Marrying Cersei."

"She'd torment you, of course."

He coughed, leaning against the wall. "I want to feel sorry for you though. However, I might no longer be there to give my sympathies."

"What do you mean?"

"I requested for a trial by combat as a result of betrayal in court," he began. "And Cersei picked the Mountain as her champion."

You stared at him in disbelief. "The Mountain?"

The Mountain. Gregor Clegane. He was the largest, strongest and most feared man in Westeros. No one had ever outmatched him.

"You see, Y/n. When my sister hates someone, she'd do everything in her power to get rid of them. I have lost Bronn to my father's nicer offers. I lost my brother Jaime to Cersei even since birth, but I doubt he can even fight with one hand against the Mountain."

"What are you going to do then?"

"Well, Y/n," he said, smiling weakly. "I have always enjoyed having our talks, no matter how brief. But I believe this is goodbye."

~~~

You were heading back to your chambers when you accidentally bumped into Jaime only coming out from Cersei's. It made you push him against the nearby wall and clutch his armor.

You were envy, it wasn't a question anymore. You couldn't decipher how attached the twins were, and how no one could intervene.

"What do you think you're doing inside? Queensguard are supposed to stay outside the doors."

He chuckled, making you let him go. "She's in a good mood right now, Y/n. Don't try to break it."

"You—"

"I told you we have each other's backs no matter what," he went on in a whisper. "I know you'll be married one day. And one day, Cersei will finally bear another child. I'm sure you couldn't help but wonder once your son or daughter would be born with golden hair," he leaned closer into your ear, "Would it be yours or mine? Robert didn't notice. But I know you're clever enough to see."

The argument stopped when Cersei stepped out the door of her chambers. Your gazes met, and somehow underneath you could still see the Cersei you had known the past couple of weeks. And you knew then you had to let her go. For your own sanity. And hers.

What was once a hardened gaze softened as you stepped away from the Knight.

"Your Grace." You bowed at Cersei before hurriedly leaving.

~~~

You had avoided the Lannisters the following days. It was the only way you could move forward without getting affected. You knew you had to face them one day, but at the moment, you'd savor the time away from them.

At dinners, your seat was always empty, making Lord Tywin ask Oberyn of your daily activities.

You had found a secluded place in the Capital, one that's rarely visited. You could see the entire King's Landing from where you sat and wondered how you wanted to leave that place, how you wouldn't want to be tied down to Cersei in such a depressing place.

If she could only love you, her love would make this view bearable. But she didn't. She wouldn't.

You were still waiting for your father's response to your letter. The violent way was to offer Princess Myrcella, Cersei's daughter, in exchange. But you doubted Tywin would see that as a threat. And you knew you wouldn't choose that way anyway.

You met with Tyrion in his cells later that night when a certain idea finally came to you.

It was the only thing keeping you sane as you finally made your presence known inside the Red Keep. Oberyn even wondered why you were suddenly enthusiastic out of nowhere.

And even when you saw Cersei and Jaime as they entered the dining halls together, you didn't let it affect you. Oblivious of the way Cersei's eyes widened when she saw you at your seat, you went on talking to Margaery about her upcoming marriage to Tommen. You then could see why Cersei never liked Margaery. She was a parasite. And she thought you were too, marrying the Queen Mother and all.

~~~

Offer him Castle Yronwood. He'd set you free from the arrangement.

Yronwood. The castle you won fighting against the lords from the Stormlands when you were young. It was the reply your father sent to your raven.

You knew you had to offer it to Tywin to set you and Cersei free. She wouldn't ever have to marry anyone she doesn't like. She wouldn't have to marry you.

Deep in your thoughts, you didn't notice Cersei approaching you in the balcony.

You greeted and stepped back as she approached the railing and stared at the horizon.

The Queen would always stay beautiful in your eyes, no matter how ugly she was inside.

"Can't sleep?"

You shook your head. "Been thinking a lot."

She snorted a soft chuckle. "Aren't we all these days?"

You smiled at the horizon. There was a long silence before you spoke, "Don't you feel like running away from all this?"

"To where?"

"Anywhere."

"Having cold feet?"

And you laughed, realizing she was referring to your marriage.

"I am not," you managed to reply. "It would be an insult to deny your hand, Your Grace."

She looked at you. "Why are you still nice to me when I'm nothing but awful to you?"

You fell silent as you avoided her gaze. She went on. "Kindness is a weakness, Y/n. For women like us. You should know that by now."

You could see Jaime on the grounds below, talking at another Kingsguard and when you finally looked at Cersei, she was also looking at him. And if your heart could only break more, it would.

"I am cold," you announced as you shivered, stepping away from the Queen. "I'm heading back inside. And I suggest you do too, Your Grace. It won't be wise to catch a cold these days."

"Y/n?"

You stopped in your tracks. "Yes, Your Grace?"

"Nothing happened between me and Jaime," she said, making you glance at her. She sported a genuine look in her face. Yet, you didn't know if you should believe her or not. Maybe, she did care for you. Or maybe she's scared you'd tell her father about it.

But what was the difference if she was saying the truth. She didn't want you. She'd never love you. She hadn't ever loved you once. And you knew that now.

"It's okay, Cersei." You gave her a weak smile before leaving.

~~~

"What the seven hells is this, Y/n?" Oberyn's yell surprised you when you entered the breakfast hall where the Martells dine the next morning. Ellaria was holding back his hand as if to control his temper. But you knew, she had no chance of doing that.

You then looked at the scroll he threw at you, giving him a sarcastic smile before reading the contents.

"Your father would kill me, Y/n!" he said. "The Mountain would kill you."

Yes, you had offered yourself as Tyrion's champion for his upcoming trial.

"I had to help him, Oberyn. Someone has to help him—"

"It doesn't have to be you!"

"Come on, my dear," Ellaria interrupted, rubbing Oberyn's chest to calm him down. "I'm sure Y/n can still back down-"

"And let the innocent man die? There's no justice in the world unless we make it."

You had never seen Oberyn this furious before. And you were at the receiving end. He then looked around the soldiers and ordered, "Leave us."

You then added once the Dornish soldiers had left, "Besides, Cersei won't get to marry me if I die—"

"You can't die, Y/n. Not in my watch. I won't let you die," he said with gritted teeth.

"Thank you for your support. I can fight well on my own—"

"The Mountain has his own mind. He only knows two things, and that is to kill and kill."

"I've fought worse enemies than him, you know that, Oberyn."

"You can't die because you are one of the rightful heirs to the throne," he said in a whisper.

"What?"

"You're my brother Doran's bastard daughter."

"Our cousin Prince Doran? You must be losing your mind."

"He had an affair before Robert's Rebellion, before the Mad King became madder. And Doran had no idea, of course. Still has no idea. For he would have given you away, Y/n. Your mother hid you under her Maester's care in the Capital, but before your mother left for Dragonstone, she sent for me to take you to Dorne. Me and Elia took you to Y/f/n, a distant relative of ours, under your father's care."

"Why would he give me away?"

"Because your house was meant to be removed from existence. Because you weren't supposed to be alive. Your mother is none other than Rhaella Targaryen."

[pensbridge]

1 thing that the Bridgerton siblings all have in common is that they are going to act in the most innane, chaotic, borderline animalistic of ways.

Anthony: speed runs toward Daphne and Simon without thought to pry them off from fucking in the garden only followed by bitch punching Simon square in the face; schemes to find the "perfect" wife (one who fits his checklist) to only later realize he feels for her sister....but doesn't stop there, and continues his plan as if he doesn't realize that his perfect wife is actually right there, therefore he should not have to attempt to marry the other in his escape that can only be described as a self-destruct endeavor to not accept happiness; ruins the plan AT the wedding; also smells his future wife as she passes (and gets caught); the gazebo..nuff said

Benedict: is generally a little shit (see him at dinner tables, in large gatherings, and just around his siblings); criticized an artist in front of their own work. he wasn't aware, which just adds to the chaos. walks into spaces without a clue to what is going on before him (i repeat: criticizing the artist's painting; also his chaotic arrivals at sibling councils calling for immediate action); in an ongoing frustration over his artistic expression that is meant to be expression of his feelings; proceeded to get high and took the whole bottle of substances; almost jumped out of a window fr

Colin: proposes to a woman he barely knows in a mad dash impulsive instinct that evades kissing her; walks out from the dinner with his fiancé without notice on the sole basis that he does not want to hear his future in-law sing badly. yes she is indeed terrible, fyi. failed engagement -> impulse flee from the country; ahh (sigh) he is feeding the ducks; loudly proclaims his "mis-affections" for a woman who is actually his future wife, then lends himself to help her find a husband like he doesn't see the big yellow sign flashing to reveal himself as the spouse in question

Daphne: is ½ of the couple about to desperately fuck in the garden; previously was involved in a scheme to fool the people of their surroundings that she was on her way towards marriage; ran away from a prince who was about to propose to her. I understand, but we are in dire, desperate times here. fell for the garden-fuck buddy, and became obligated to marry him, but he doesn't want kids oh no.........married him; in the "I know something my brother's fiancé doesn't know" club of 3 (peace-out, staying out of the drama; c u @ the wedding)

Eloise: trots into a room full of her mother and siblings LOUDLY inquiring how a lady becomes pregnant; accuses a maid of writing a gossip column as if she does have much time on her hands to observe and overhear the secrets of those in her surroundings, and further write about it with an internal sassy voice like she doesn't have chores and duties to tend to everyday to survive; does everything in her power to avoid men, marriage, and anything to do with the opposite sex... except one (which is scandalous no matter how cute/innocent). tears apart her bff's room in haste after the shock effect of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Bonus) 'Mother' Bridgerton: nearly asked a servant to lie on her in need for her "garden" to be tended to

Here's some more events from Season 3 that is added on to Bridgerdums malfunctioning:

Benedict: insults someone again/talks without thinking; generally has no idea what's going on; shit's (ship's) going on right in front of his eyes and he has no idea (tbh this is everything that I expected from him and this is EVERYTHING (he's chilling); so obvious trying to escape the desper-taunt; sooooo obvious trying to chat it up with L.D./Aggie Danbury, my girl

Colin: where do I start...playing 'Where's Waldo' with his bff for half an episode; LYING LIAR WHO LIES, 17 cities...you went to 17 cities?! (i'm just shocked); perhaps we should go somewhere more private??? /rushes to apologize with full sentimental remarks (good); rushes to offer the help as previously mentioned; kisses his best friend to help her out it's only fair; "OF COURSE!"...back on the hunt for pretty bff; *ooh watching bff eat a pastry, malfunction ahh* -> buys the pastry; the entirrreee hot air balloon scene (he waits, he rushes...he's definitely a fight mode with mental gymnastics flight in the lead up); can't speak in the middle of a ball; downbadism yellow sheet drop; crashes a proposal, cuts in the dance, literally so obvious, *angry* "perhaps that is for the best"; chases down a carriage ON FOOT; the (in)FAMOUS carriage; chaotic proposal

Eloise: she hates socializing with men and she's gonna shout it; cracking jokes with The Plastics; oops loud queen...let the cat out of the bag; /forever the accuser (now w/Cressida, former queen of The Plastics); she HATES society, guys, I don't think you understand; "MY BROTHER?!???" x2 (3x04 deleted scene + 3x05 tick tock Lady Featheringdown)

Francesca: the most sane, but living up to her name; dun dun dun piano; introvert escape room expert; finds a man without talking to him; rushes out of the new boyfriend hang to play her piano

Gregory: fell and broke his arm being nosy AND faaaaaailedddd; dummy was just fascinated by a balloon

Hyacinth: she's gonna be trouble, we just know, ok/always always always right

[jamethinks]

Preliminary thoughts on 106

I've only read it once so i may have missed a few details so bare with me sexy

Donovan is such a well designed character. A menacing presence every time he's on a panel. I had to hold my phone at a healthy distance to get through this chapter. Beyond his signature bulging eyes, he has such a zombie like appearance to him that just leaves a horrible taste in your mouth

Damian's dynamic with his family is interesting. He's oddly optimistic, determined to have a bond with them despite their distance and coldness. He doesn't seem that interested in Melinda and I will give Endo the benefit of the doubt and say it's because they're already close (ignoring that she wanted him to die)

Demetrius is wonderful as always. Nonchalant king. He had not a concern about anything but his food and his work. Autism wants his number

Melinda was the stand out character. She was oddly quiet and timid in this chapter. Damian had no direct interaction her and she had few lines. Still there was something so unusual about her demeanor. She is normally very cheerful and bright, the only time we saw her this dull(?) was when Damian brought up his dad at the end the bus hijacking arc. At first I thought she was mad but looking at screencaps she seemed sad and uneasy but still a bit irritated.

Love how this chapter expanded on fucking nothing btw. A filler indeed. But a good kind, shows that when he's ready but the man cook.

Anya's absence in the chapter resulted in little to no thought bubbles. This further added to the tense environment. A lot of the tension in the story is subdued by Anya's (and to an extent Twilight's) perception. You're never fully lost or confused. This chapter however, you feel their absence as you're forced to watch these characters silently interact and only rely on what the author is willing to share.

Anya and Donovan have never interacted and his brief interaction with Twilight showed he has an intense amount of self control, hiding his intentions and responses cleverly. I will omit my tangent on the parallels between the two patriarchs for now but it's obvious they're good liars and manipulators. The same way Anya is Twilight's kryptonite (a person who cannot be lied to or manipulated) it's obvious she has the same dynamic with Donovan hence why the two of them have been kept apart for so long

Donovan's final comment about the dinner being worthwhile (man can someone compare the orig japanese version please) is the most captivating line. Two possible interpretations are: a, he genuinely didn't pick up on the terrible vibes in the room (touch of the tism, consequences of the lobotomy, who knows) or b. He did that shit on purpose

I like the second one more. The idea of him coming home and having dinner with his family fully aware of how awful they will feel the entire time is just peak villain shit. Choosing a random week in December to just make everyone miserable is the kind of evil I need.

I think of it as his way of reaffirming his dominance in the family. A cruel reminder of everyone's position in the family. As he sits at the head of the table gazing off coldly at his family while they all desperately avoid his gaze. The scene where he scans the room but his eyes barely move, oh what a wicked man.

Damian seems to still be learning his place in the family. He is again still trying to have a normal family life but he will soon fall in line I suppose much like his brother and learn how to stay quiet and work.

Donovan is clearly aware of his son's adoration of him and is using that to help "train" him. The moment where Damian was talking and he just sighs (vol 6) or his parting comment to slow down (indicating that he had been fully aware of his son the entire time, including his attempts to start a conversation).

tldr i love Donovan Desmond. They'll make me hate you, you ugly decrypted zombie man. 100000+ aura indeed. terrible terrible man

[kou3218]

Commissioned by me, art by the always fantastic: @plastic-pipes

Story below

Lux was back in Democia after having spent several months in Piltover. She had been acting on behalf of the Illuminators as a diplomat. Trying to build bridges with Dempcia and the city of progress. Despite her country’s disdain for magic and all the things associated with it. They needed Piltover on their side should Noxus attempt further expansion. But, unbeknownst to her own country, Luxanna Crownguard was the very thing they despised most of all, a Mage. Ever since she was a teenager, she had done what she could to keep her magic hidden. Only her family had known the truth about her, and it was only her brother Garren who really accepted her.

Working for the illuminators at least made it easier for her to keep her magic a secret. Regularly spending time outside of Demacia’s borders on her own. The time she spent in Piltover had been wonderful. Seeing all the brilliant minds and creations that Hex Tech could accomplish. She even managed to find several texts on the possible applications of light magic, and to make a friend.

“Well, maybe more than a friend.” Lux thought to herself with a smile.

~

Lux had managed to sneak into one of Piltover’s archives at night to see what matter of new magical discovery the inventors had found. Even though she was trying to negotiate peace, she still couldn’t risk someone seeing her looking through texts on magic. If her aunt or the mage seeker caught even a rumor of her wanting to know more about magic, it could be the end for her.

Unbeknownst to Lux, Jinx had been preparing to blow up the very building the light mage was skulking about in. Thankfully for her, Jinx saw Lux and was curious to see what she was up to. Jinx spooked Lux in a dramatic fashion which revealed she was a mage. By attempting to blast the blue hair girl with a ray of light energy. She had missed and ended up knocking over a bookshelf, which caused a domino effect to knock over half of the archive.

Luxanna was horrified by what she had done, while Jinx was cackling like a mad woman before bombarded the mage with questions, “That was awesome! How’d ya do that! No device but that fancy stick of your’s. Can you do Magic? Are you a mage!? WHAT ELSE CAN YA DO!!??”

Lux could hardly keep up with the manic girl’s questions. The sheer wonder in her pink eyes was something Lux had never thought she’d see from someone. Before Lux could start to answer, the sound of the enforces cut their meeting short. The two of them fled the scene and managed to preserve Lux’s identity from Piltover’s Finest. Once they were safe, Jinx convinced Lux to stay with her for the night. Since it would have been too dangerous to try and sneak back to her hotel.

Lux eventually made her way back to her hotel, thinking over the time she spent with the blue-haired girl. She was eccentric, brilliant, inquisitive, and very physically affectionate. Lux wasn’t used to anyone being in her personal space so much as Jinx had, but there was something surprisingly comforting about it. As Lux continued to look over the “barrowed” texts, Jinx had managed to sneak into Lux’s hotel room. Once again surprising the young mage, but she was happy to see the gunpowder girl. The two of them spent more and more time together and found a surprising amount of similarity and solace with each other.

Eventually, Lux had to return to Demacia and hated having to leave Jinx, knowing the brilliant blue haired girl had severe issues with abandonment and separation. It took some serious convincing, but Lux promised Jinx she would see her again.

~

It had been three weeks since she had made that promise, and Lux couldn’t help but worry about her. Spending most of her time organizing the library to occupy her mind and avoid her aunt as much as she could. She missed Jinx terribly, wanting nothing more than to leave her gilded cage and stomp around in the sump with Jinx. Showing her all the best places to eat, drink, dance, and blow up.

Almost wishing for her gunpower girl to come sailing in on a rocket to cause a little mayhem and sweep her off her feet. Lux shook her head at the thought and went back to shelving books only to see the very girl on her mind pop right in front of her hanging upside down. Spooking Lux like their first meeting, but this time not attempting to blast her through a wall.

“JINX!?” Lux screamed in surprise.

“THAT’S MEEEEE!” Jinx said with the biggest inverted grin

“Wh-what are you doing here. HOW, did you even get here.” Lux asked with her heart pounding in her ears as she looked around. Hoping no one would come running because of her screaming.

“Got bored waitin’ and wasn’t too hard to sneak in. No one ever looks up.” Jinx said nonchalantly.

While Lux was happy to see Jinx again, she was worried that someone did see her. At best, Jinx would be tossed out or worse they would try and execute her. Jinx teased Lux a bit for worrying about her and that she better find a way to keep her occupied before she does something crazy. Lux decided to turn the tables on Jinx and kissed her while she was still hanging upside down.

This ended up backfiring almost immediately lux. Not realizing how much she missed the manic girl until her lips met with hers. It started off soft and sweet, but quickly turned to hunger. She couldn’t get enough of the loose cannon lips as the familiar smell of gunpower, smoke, oil, and the sump filled Lux’s lungs as she breathed her lover in.

“I-mmf-I missed you -mmph- so much!” Lux said in-between kisses.

“Mmph- missed ya too, mmf, flashlight!” Jinx said as she kissed her back with the same intensity as her hands still firmly gripped the shelves.

Partly to help support herself, but she also liked it when Lux took charge like this. Seeing the prim and proper mask that Mage wore shatter for her always gave Jinx a certain thrill. Despite how dangerous and unpredictable Jinx could be, Lux still accepted all of her as she was. The manic woman never thought anyone would miss her the way Lux did.

[mxnsterbabe]

Male Vampire/Female Reader

SFW

Wordcount: 3,665

Commissions | Ko-fi | Masterlist

When your friend begs you to help her brother, you have no choice is to agree. But what is he?

When you ripped the front door open, the sight at your doorstep stopped you cold. There, bathed in the harsh glow of the porch light, was your best friend; but something was terribly wrong. Her clothes were soaked in blood, her face etched with a panic that sent a ripple of fear through you. 

“We need to come inside.”

You stammered out, “of course, come in,” your mind reeling to keep up.

Before you could even form a question, she brushed past you, half-dragging, half-carrying an unconscious figure into your house.

“What the hell is going on?” you stammered, but Ir1ina pushed past you, stumbling inside without even acknowledging you’d spoken.

The living room turned into an emergency scene, as she laid the person down with more care than you expected from her frantic entrance. It took a moment for the reality to sink in. The person on your floor was Dumitru, Irina’s older brother; but he looked… wrong. Not least because of the blood now pooling on your hardwood floor.

"You need to get him to a hospital," you told Irina, eyes narrowed. The gash on his head looked deep, and his stillness was unnerving.

Irina shook her head vehemently. "You're a paramedic, can't you do something? Please," she begged, the plea in her eyes impossible to ignore.

Despite the doubts swirling in your mind, you couldn't turn away from the silent appeal in Irina's gaze. With a deep breath, you set to work, your training kicking in despite the circumstances. You cleaned the wound as best as you could, the blood washing away to reveal the extent of the damage. The gash was deep, and you knew it needed stitches.

You fetched your medical kit, your hands steady as you threaded the needle. The act of sewing the wound closed was familiar, a procedure you'd performed countless times, yet never in your own living room, and never on someone you knew. 

With each stitch, you couldn't help but worry about the lack of response from him. Concussions were tricky, and without the proper equipment, there was only so much you could do.

You worked with care, trying to keep your stitches even, the thread pulling the edges of the wound together. The silence in the room was heavy, filled with the tension of the moment and the weight of your thoughts. 

What if Dumitru needed more help than you could give?

After tending to the gash on Dumitru's head, you shifted your focus, carefully moving him to the sofa to conduct a more thorough examination. Your hands worked methodically, guided by your paramedic training, as you checked him for any other concealed injuries that might have gone unnoticed in the initial panic.

Gently, you palpated his abdomen and limbs, looking for signs of internal bleeding or fractures, your touch deliberate but gentle. You knew the importance of being thorough; hidden injuries could be just as dangerous, if not more so, than the visible ones. 

Thankfully, aside from some bruising and minor lacerations, there didn't seem to be any other significant injuries.

Concussion was a concern, given the blow to his head. You couldn't perform a scan, but you did the next best thing, checking his pupils for signs of asymmetry or sluggish response. You kept the room dimly lit and ensured he was lying in a recovery position to maintain an open airway.

It wasn’t much, but it was as all you could do.

Once satisfied you'd done all you could with the resources at hand, you turned to Irina, the weight of responsibility heavy on your shoulders. "He needs to be seen in a hospital," you insisted, your voice firm despite the fatigue nibbling at the edges of your resolve. "I've done what I can, but he needs a full medical evaluation."

Irina's reluctance was palpable, her answers evasive. "We can't," she murmured, avoiding your gaze. "It's complicated."

The vague response did little to put you at ease. "Is there something you're not telling me?" you asked, the puzzle pieces not quite fitting together. "Why can't he go to a hospital?"

Before Irina could respond, a soft groan from the sofa cut through the tense atmosphere. Your attention snapped back to Dumitru, whose eyes were fluttering open, confusion and pain etched across his features as he tried to orient himself.

Dumitru's slow return to consciousness allowed you a closer inspection, you swallowed down your unease. His skin, though naturally tanned, carried an ashen pallor that seemed at odds with his otherwise robust appearance. His eyes, dark to the point of being almost black, looked different to normal. Despite the grime and blood that marred his features, there was an undeniable, almost ethereal handsomeness about him…

Yet, as he moved, something about him seemed fundamentally off. His teeth, when he cringed, were uniformly sharp, more reminiscent of a predator's than a human's. His posture, too, was peculiar, his back hunched in a way that suggested something wrong with his skeleton, and his limbs seemed to bend in ways that made you uneasy.

When he spoke, his voice was a low rumble, tinged with confusion. "Where am I?" he murmured, his gaze flitting around the room, landing on his hand as it retreated from his wound. The sight of his own fingernails, tapered to points like claws, seemed to shock him as much as it did you.

Your instinctive step back was halted by Irina's steadying grip. Dumitru's eyes widened in realization, a dawning understanding that his appearance was the cause of your alarm. "I'm sorry," he began, his apology cut short by your demand for clarity.

"What's going on, Irina?" you pressed, your voice a mix of fear and the need for answers. "What is he?"

The silence stretched on, the tension in the room making your pulse thrum. 

Irina, usually so open and forthright, remained tight-lipped, her gaze averted. Dumitru, for his part, seemed lost in thoughts of his own, his dark eyes clouded with an emotion you couldn't quite decipher.

Your instincts were at odds, the ingrained desire to help clashing with a creeping sense of fear that whispered caution. Dumitru kept his head low, but you could still see how wrong he looked. The more you stared, the more obvious it became; his once rich skin was now ashen grey, lips peeled back as if his teeth were too sharp for his mouth.

It was difficult to look at him, really, and you suppressed a shudder.

It was Dumitru who finally broke the silence, his voice so different from the gentle, lilting accent you remembered. Now, it was rough, almost guttural, carrying a depth that seemed to vibrate through the very air. 

"I didn't want you to find out like this," he confessed, each word seeming to cost him. "I never wanted to involve you in this... in my world."

The raw honesty in his admission made your stomach turn. "What does that mean?" you demanded, your voice steadier than you felt. "What are you?"

It was Irina who answered, her voice barely above a whisper, "He's... it's complicated, but the closest thing we have to a comparison is a vampire. There are those who would see him dead."

The revelation was a jolt. Your legs crumpled beneath you, and Irina couldn’t dash forward in time to catch you as you collapsed on the cold floor.

A vampire, in your living room, bleeding and vulnerable. Not only that, but he was your friend.

The weight of the revelation pressed heavily upon you, each breath feeling thicker, harder to draw. You needed space, a moment to process the impossible reality that had just unfolded in the safety of your home. 

"I need a moment," you managed to say, voice wobbling as you clambered to your feet.

Irina made a move to follow as you turned towards the door, her instinct to comfort and explain battling against your clear need for solitude. "Please, just give me some space," you said, a firmness in your tone that brooked no argument.

Behind you, Dumitru's voice reached out. "Please, I never meant for any of this. I don't want to hurt you.”

Whatever he was going to say next cut short as you slammed the front door shut. 

Outside, the world lay bathed in the gentle glow of the moon. You took a deep breath, the cool air filling your lungs, and rested your head on the porch railing.

You fought for composure, for the calm that seemed so elusive now. The cool night air worked its subtle magic, each deep breath grounding you, until you remembered how to breathe properly.

Your thoughts shattered when Dumitru's voice drifted through the closed window, his voice unsteady. "I've put her in danger," he muttered, the gravelly undertone of his voice more pronounced than before. "She must hate me now. I've ruined any chance of being close to her."

The confession halted your retreat, a jumble of emotions clouding your thoughts. Driven by curiosity, heart thudding, you approached the window.

Peering through the glass, the figure you saw made your stomach drop Whatever… glamour that had once cloaked his true form had fallen away, revealing his raw, unmasked essence. His skin was paler now, an ashen hue that seemed almost translucent under the dim light. The sharpness of his features was more pronounced, his cheekbones jutting, his jawline too sharp. Even his ears were elongated, tapering to points that seemed to twitch slightly, angled down in… embarrassment?

Yet, it was the vulnerability in his posture. It was the slumped and uneven shoulders and the haunted look in his eyes, that struck you the most. 

The sight of him, so changed and yet so familiar, stirred a well of emotions within you—fear, yes, but also a deep-seated pull towards him.

With a resolve that surprised even yourself, you turned away from the window, the decision to face what lay inside solidifying with each step. 

Maybe you didn’t understand what was going on, but he was still Dumitru. 

As you re-entered the room, Dumitru's eyes lifted to meet yours, a glimmer of hope flickering there. The sight of him—hunched, nervous, unnatural—didn't repulse you as you might have expected. Instead, a wave of sympathy washed over you.

You approached and took a seat beside him, and it seemed to take both him and Irina by surprise.  You leaned your head against his shoulder, taking comfort in the odd coolness of his skin.

"I'm sorry," you said softly. “For running away.”

Dumitru's response was a soft, pained noise, but he sank into your side anyway. 

Irina watched, a silent observer, saying nothing.

"If people want you dead," you continued, your voice steady, "I'll protect you."

Dumitru smiled, showing razor-sharp teeth. “Thank you.”

***

Over the next few days, the tension began to dissipate, the immediate danger receding into the background as Dumitru's wounds healed. With each passing day, he regained more of his human appearance, until all that remained was a faint scab on his forehead and his unnaturally pointed teeth.

Now, the atmosphere in the kitchen was light, almost domestic, as you and Dumitru moved around each other with an easy familiarity. The sound of sizzling and the aroma of breakfast cooking filled the air, music playing faintly in the background.

"You know, you didn't have to do this," Dumitru said, nodding towards the stove where you were flipping pancakes. His voice was soft, inhuman edge almost gone.

You shrugged, a small smile playing on your lips. "I wanted to. Besides, cooking's more fun with company. Pass the sugar?"

As you reached for the syrup, Dumitru moved to grab the sugar. The brush of his arm against yours sent a jolt through you, and his quick, murmured sorry did little to calm the flutter in your chest.

The urge to turn and kiss him was almost overwhelming, so sudden that it left you breathless. Yet, you held back, acutely aware of Irina's presence just upstairs.

A knock at the door sliced through the comfortable hum of the morning, sending a ripple of tension through you.You weren't expecting anyone, and the timing felt too coincidental for comfort.

Your stomach churned. "I'll check it out. Stay here," you instructed Dumitru, a protective instinct flaring within you as you moved towards the door. 

Irina, alerted by the knock, made her way downstairs, a question in her eyes that mirrored your own concern.

Your hand hesitated on the door handle, the quiet murmur of Dumitru's and Irina's movements behind you a small comfort. With a steadying breath, you opened the door, peering out to confront the source of the disturbance.

Two men stood on your doorstep, their presence immediately setting off alarm bells in your mind. One bore the unmistakable mark of a recent injury, a gash down his cheek in the process of healing.

The only warning you had was Irina’s sharp intake of breath. The men, having spotted Irina, shifted with a predatory quickness.

Before you could react, before you could slam the door or call out for Dumitru, the men darted for you. A forceful push sent you tumbling to the ground, the impact jarring as you hit the floor. 

Pain lit up your side as you landed, vision swimming. Scrambling to regain your footing, your mind raced for solutions, for a way to protect yourself and your friends. 

As one of the intruders lunged towards Irina, the other, knife in hand, loomed menacingly over you. The glint of the blade caught the morning light. Your heart pounded in your chest, pulse roaring in your ears.

Before he could do anything though, a guttural scream pierced the air. 

Suddenly, Dumitru launched himself at the man standing over you with a ferocity that was staggering.

The room became a blur as Dumitru threw himself at the attacker. His movements were swift, driven by a desperation that made him seem larger, more imposing. 

Dumitru and the man slammed into the opposite wall in a tangle of limbs. You caught a flash of sharp teeth and a gaunt, grey face as Dumitru turned to look at you, before rounding on your assailant again.

The other assailant, seeing his companion in distress, quickly joined the fray. Shoving Irina aside, he launched himself at Dumitru, blade catching the light. 

Dumitru tried to dodge, but two against one quickly overwhelmed him. The knife glinted, and suddenly Dumitru was on the ground, writhing, as crimson blood dripped onto your floor.

Seeing Dumitru in trouble, your fear transformed into action. You pushed yourself off the ground, darting for Irinia before either of the men could turn on her.

With Irina safely behind you, you darted into the kitchen, your eyes scanning for anything that could serve as a weapon. The knives, frustratingly, were out of reach, but your gaze landed on a heavy pan resting on the stove. Without hesitation, you seized it, the weight of it oddly comforting in your hands.

As you re-entered the fray, the scene that greeted you was one of grim determination. Dumitru was on the ground, the two men towering over him, their intent clear in their raised weapons. 

Your heart raced, fear and anger swirling within you as you took in the sight of Dumitru, fighting against the odds.

“Come and get me, assholes!”

The nearest one turned just in time to meet the pan as it swung through the air, connecting with a resounding thud. The impact sent him crumpling to the ground, unconscious.

You dropped to Dumitru’s side. “Are you all right?” you asked, taking his jaw in your palm. His old wound had reopened, and his dark eyes met yours.

Then, he surprised you. In one swift movement, he flipped you over, positioning his body as a shield between you and the remaining assailant. The world upended, and for a moment, all you could see was Dumitru's determined gaze.

As the remaining assailant lunged forward, weapon in hand, Dumitru didn't hesitate. Curved around you, a physical barrier against the threat. The blade found its mark, but not in you; Dumitru took the wound meant for you, a grimace of pain briefly contorting his features.

Yet even as he shuddered from the impact, Dumitru's resolve didn't waver. With a swift, almost graceful movement, he disarmed and incapacitated the assailant, knocking him to the ground and sending the knife clattering. 

The last man fell, crumpling next to his unconscious companion, and the immediate threat evaporated.

You finally allowed yourself to breathe, the adrenaline that had sustained you through the confrontation slowly ebbing away.

Dumitru wobbled, his strength waning with the adrenaline's fade, and Irina was there to catch him.

Together, you helped lower him to the ground, your paramedic training springing to the forefront of your mind as you assessed his injuries. The puncture wounds were serious but, thankfully, avoided any vital areas—a small mercy.

"Is that all of them?" you asked, your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions. "Are more coming after you?"

Dumitru's eyes, clouded with pain, met yours as he shook his head. "That's all," he confirmed, his voice a whisper. "They wanted me dead because of what I am... because I was stupid enough to reveal my true . I thought they were friends.”

The revelation burned like acid. 

Sighing, Irina brushed dark hair from her face. “I’ll get your first aid kit,” she murmured, “it sure has been getting a lot of use lately.”

Irina's quick departure left the hallway feeling suddenly quiet, the aftermath of the chaos settling like dust around you. Your breath came in heavy, uneven pulls, the adrenaline that had spiked through your veins now giving way to relief.

You glanced towards the unconscious men, considering the practicality of securing them to prevent any further threat. "We should probably tie them up, just in case they wake up," you murmured, more to yourself than to Dumitru.

Before you could move to act on your thought, Dumitru's arm encircled your middle, drawing you close with an unexpected gentleness that contrasted sharply with the violence you'd just witnessed. The proximity was startling, his presence a solid reassurance that grounded you amidst the aftermath.

He drew you in, the stark sharpness of his teeth, the undeniable otherness of his face that had once seemed so jarring. Yet now, in the quiet, those inhuman features seemed less like markers of a monster and more like… just like him.

Warmth washed over you, melting away the last dregs of fear. The space between you felt charged with a new understanding.

Without a word, you leaned in and kissed him. His response was immediate, a mingling of relief and something akin to wonder, as if he too had been waiting for this.

Dumitru's lips were cool against yours. There was an underlying taste of copper, a reminder of his injuries, but it did nothing to deter you from pressing yourself closer. If anything, it grounded the kiss in the reality of what you'd both endured, what you'd survived together.

As you pulled away, Dumitru whispered, “thank you.”

Laughter bubbled to the surface. “I didn’t do much, though the pan came in handy.”

"It's not just for the fighting," he clarified, his voice rough. "Thank you for accepting me... for not being afraid of what I am."

His hands, gentle despite their strength, cradled your face, sharp nails skimming across your skin. 

In response, you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, right above the cut, a silent reassurance. "It's all right now," you murmured.

The bubble burst with Irina's return. She stood at the doorway, a first aid kit in hand and a knowing smile playing on her lips. The amusement in her eyes was clear as she took in the scene before her, her brother and you, together.

"Am I interrupting something?" she teased, the warmth in her voice taking any sting out of the words. "Should I come back later?"

Dumitru's laughter, despite the circumstances, was beautiful. He beckoned Irina closer, and she all but collapsed at his side.

As he attempted to shift into a more comfortable position, a wince of pain flickered across his features. Quick to reassure, he managed a strained smile. "I'm fine," he insisted, though the evidence was to the contrary.

Together, you and Irina set about the task of tending to his wounds, the first aid kit's contents spread out before you. The work was methodical, each bandage and antiseptic application a step towards healing, towards normalcy.

It was inevitable that your thoughts turned to the unconscious men still lying in your home. "What about them?" you asked, your gaze flicking towards the room where they lay. "What do we do with them?"

Dumitru's response was immediate, a shadow of his earlier humor returning. "I'll take care of them," he said, a statement that sent a jolt of alarm through you.

“Wait, hold on—”

"No, no," he assured, shaking his head as much as his injuries would allow. "I'm not going to kill them. I can... make them forget about me."

The concept, so outlandish yet spoken with such certainty, left you reeling. Then again, everything else was so crazy, why not?

With Dumitru's wounds carefully tended to, the atmosphere in the room shifted, the tension easing. You leaned in, and with a gentle sureness, you kissed him. His lips were cold against yours, and his teeth grazed your lip with an edge of sharpness.

“I don’t know how the hell we managed that,” you murmured, “but the three of us made a pretty good team.”

"We did," Dumitru agreed.

Then, heedless of Irina’s laugh, you dove in for another kiss.

[moonlightazriel]

Chapter 16: When a friend is in need /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: Lucien goes after his family for help, stepping in the Autmun Court for the first time in centuries.

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: The usual angst.

Notes: I thought about not posting this today, since everything that's been happening but I decided to post to bring some joy in between the terrible things that are happening, I hope you guys understand my position. Love u.

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

Lucien held Elain’s hand and she noticed how his palms were sweaty, with a slight shake. She knew he was nervous, coming home after so long, she didn't even know how long it was. But here they were, strolling through the hallways of the Forest House. 

The wooden walls are adorned with centuries of Autumn Court art, orange curtains and the smell of oak. The decorations were picked to complement each other, everything ornate to create a magical atmosphere, but something felt wrong. 

She didn't know if it was the way the servants avoided looking at them, quickly bowing their heads at the sight of the youngest autumn prince or how they immediately ran away from their path. The atmosphere felt tense, like they were afraid of doing the wrong thing and being punished for it. 

But her mate had asked her to join him, he wanted her there, she even dared to think that he needed her there, to ground him and remind him that he had gotten out of that, he wasn't stuck under his father's grip anymore, he was a free male. 

The guards at the double door bowed their heads to him, pushing the doors open to reveal the throne room, Beron sat with a sneer, crown atop his head as he eyed Lucien and Elain up and down. By his side, silently, his mother sat, her eyes litting up with love and longing, her fingers twitched to touch her beautiful son. 

His eyes lingered on his mother for a little while longer, before he turned to his brothers standing by the sides, Eris first as always, being the first born and the heir. Arathorn by his side as the second oldest, Inialos as the middle born and then finally Elissar, the second youngest. Lucien could almost see himself by his side, serious expression and impeccable posture, like they did now. 

“I couldn't believe you would actually have the audacity to show up after that letter “demanding” a meeting!” Beron said and Elain flinched with the look directed to her. “Especially with someone like her, not even a real fae.” 

“I'm not here to talk to you.” Lucien said, ignoring the disgusting tone in his father's voice. “I came here to talk to you, brothers.” He turned to his siblings, they all looked at him with interest. 

“I'm here to ask for your help, we have an enemy in common, Koschei.” He started but Beron scoffed. 

“Koschei is not an enemy, he's here to save us all from someone like Rhysand and his whore of a mate.” Lucien felt Elain squeezing his hand harder. 

“Is that the lie he feeds you, father?” Lucien's stern gaze focused on the male at the throne, how he hated him. 

“It's the truth, and he'll make us powerful again.” Beron said with his chest puffed, confidence filled him. 

“More like kill you all.” Elain replied. 

“What do you know about it?” He barely looked at her.

“Koschei is from a world of demons, they kill and conquer, and do you know what can kill the likes of him?” Her voice didn't falter, she was ready to get them to work together no matter what. 

“What does kill him, dear sister?” Eris spoke, earning a growl from his father, Lucien needed him and he wouldn't fail him, not anymore. 

“Fire.” All of their eyes were on her now.

“Our fire.” Lucien added. “The fire of Celeste Vanserra, the only one who was close enough to kill Koschei.”

“There's no Celeste Vanserra. They are lying and you're too dumb to believe it, Eris. But I shouldn't be surprised.” If looks could kill, Eris would be dead by now. 

“She was my ancestor.” His mother spoke and he basked in the warmth of her voice, he missed her. “They tried to erase her from history, but her name was passed through the females in my family, no one forgot her, Celeste was the fire born, we carry her blood and her power.” 

“Lies!” Beron yelled, rising from his spot. Elain felt her head hurt, her vision getting blurry and her head was filled with visions, from a nearby future, where no autumn court remained, destroyed by Koschei. 

“It will be the end of your lineage, Beron Vanserra, and your own end. Koschei won't stop until he kills every single fae with fire abilities.” She warned, she could see his dead corpse in her head, his sons laying by his side. 

“And what do you want us to do, brother?” Arathorn intervened, stepping forward.

“You need to fight, we need to end Koschei, or else he'll end us.” Lucien begged and his brothers nodded. 

“We'll come with you.” Elissar promised, but Beron laughed, so loud that made Elain's ear hurt. 

“You won't do such a thing, no one will leave this court as Koschei isn't a threat.” He commanded, fear clouded his sons' gazes, they never respected him, but fear has a way to control people, make their bend to their will, but not anymore. 

“Your children will help us if they choose to do so, you won't stop them, or else your end won't come by Koschei’s hand. You will learn why they call me the King slayer.” Elain promised, her irises still white from the vision she had, Beron trembled with the simple promise her words carried, either he got out of the way or he would die. 

“If you go, don't dare coming back.” He threatened but for the first time, this felt more like a blessing than a curse. So one by one, his sons followed to their brother's side. 

“I will fight too.” His mother got up from the throne, walking to stand among her children, Beron was fuming but he wouldn't dare to try anything when his sons could do much worse to him. So he watched in silence as she cupped Lucien's cheek, pulling him in for a long, tight hug, whispered something in his ear and turned to Elain, repeating the motion. “Welcome to the family darling, I promise we are better than this.”

“I know. And I'm glad to be a part of this.” She gestured to the males surrounding her, and Beron sulked into his seat as he watched his wife and kids leave the throne room, leaving him alone and feeling disrespected for the first time in centuries. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

The Vanserras gathered around the dining table, the spectre twins serving them plates filled with food. Feyre talked happily with Wendy, lady of the autumn court. Azriel occasionally squeezed Y/N’s thigh under the table, feeling a bit uncomfortable in their presence, after all, centuries old feud between the two courts weren’t easily forgotten over a good meal, but he was happy they decided to help. 

“So…” Eris said, clearing his throat, all the attention drifted to him, the chatter dying down. “What’s the plan we have?” 

“Well, we will free Koschei.” The autumn heirs gasped.

“Do you  think this is the best way of handling this?” Inialos inquired, trying to be as polite as he was taught, not wanting to disrespect a High Lord in his own home. 

“Unfortunately it’s the only way of doing it, that’s where you will shine.” Y/N replied, giving the males an encouraging thumbs up. 

“We need you all to create a fire dome. Once Lucien, Azriel, Y/N and I are inside, nothing can come out. It’s your job to prevent Koschei from getting free and conquering the rest of Prythian.” Nesta said with a smile gracing her beautiful harsh face. 

“And you think we can do it?” Arathorn raised his eyebrow in disbelief. 

“We are the only ones that can do it, we carry the blood and the name of Celeste, we will finish what she started.” Wendy Vanserra guaranteed and her sons looked at their mother, the confidence that they hadn't seen shining in her eyes for centuries was finally back. She was free now and she would never go back to being a slave. 

“Then it’s settled. Let’s kill that bastard.” Eris raised his glass in a sarcastic toast, he was sure they were fucked but if Koschei was half as dangerous as he suspected, using his powers to its fullest was the least of their problems. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“Are you okay?” Azriel asked, watching as Y/N sat by the large window in her room. Her eyes distant, her eyebrows scrunched like she was in pain.

“I miss him.” Azriel smiled at that.

“It’s only been two days.” He sat by her side, his thumb tracing the side of her face, along the bumpy patch of skin that formed her scar. 

“We’ve never been apart for so long.” She took a deep breath. “After Asterin, he was my anchor for so long. He had lost his friends just like me, so I couldn't force more suffering upon him. Whenever I was nearing the edge..” An iron nail slided across the skin of her neck and Azriel swallowed harshly at the thought. “He kept me alive.” 

“He is fine, I know that.” He kissed her hand, the one he pulled away from her neck. “Soon you two will be together.” She rested her head against his chest, letting the beatings of his heart soothe her distressed mind. “Let’s go to sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow.” 

Y/N nodded, getting up and following the Shadowsinger towards the bed, allowing him to pull her closer and wrap his arms around her waist, his scent filling her mind. His fingers tracing invisible random patterns on the skin of her hips. 

“Do you think you will ever forget me?” She blurted, not allowing him to answer before she continued. “Cuz no matter the distance between us, how many worlds I travel to, you’re engraved in my heart forever, you saw me, truly saw me when I was afraid of looking at myself, you mended the broken pieces of my soul and made me someone again.” 

“Is this your way of saying goodbye?” He inquired and truly? She didn’t know.

She kept quiet for a while, her mind in a violent battle with her heart. She had to go back, Manon needed her, she had her duties to fulfil, Asterin would be so disappointed if she left it all behind. She couldn’t let Manon down cuz letting Manon down meant letting Asterin’s efforts all go to waste. 

“I don’t know.” Her heart bleeded with that answer, that stupid thing ready to throw it all out for him, her soul claimed for him. If the time ever came, she didn’t know how she would be able to choose. 

“In that case, I'm glad I had this time with you, it's more than i could’ve asked for, thank you for allowing me in your heart.” He kissed her lips with a delicacy that broke her heart just a bit further. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

The next day came, Y/N shuffled in bed, feeling more tired than the day before, her body rested but her mind kept awake, frantic thoughts preventing her from actually resting properly, she kept quiet, not wanting to wake Azriel up, she didn’t wanted to face the sadness that clouded his eyes after their conversation last night, too damn coward to face him, to tell him that she loved him more than she had ever loved anyone. Why would she say it, just to break both of their hearts when she eventually went home? She wouldn’t be that cruel.

So she sucked it up, taking a long scalding shower that usually helped her through the day, getting in the Illyrian leathers that were like a second skin to her now, attaching both her sword and cloak behind her back before she stepped out of the bathroom. Azriel is long gone. 

The house was empty, just Nesta sat there, silently sipping tea from a mug, her icy blue eyes moving upwards, following the movements of Y/N sitting down with a sigh. She took in the prominent dark circles and the sadness darkening her gaze.

“Hard night?” The oldest Archeron inquired, getting a shrug as a reply.

“How am I supposed to leave you all behind?” She said, looking far away from the female in front of her, her fork poking a fluff piece of scrambled eggs. 

“You know you don’t need to, you can stay here with us.” Nesta offered and her eyes filled with tears, so heavy that she lowered her head.

“I can’t.” She took a deep breath. “They need me!”

“Do they? Or is that what you tell yourself?” Y/N turned her cold gaze towards Nesta, the female almost flinched with the pain reflected in them.

“I don’t even know at this point. I don’t belong anywhere.” She hiccuped, tears falling down the sides of her cheeks. “I am no one, I’m not important anymore, I keep telling myself that they need me but you’re right, do they? Are they even looking for me?”

“That’s not true, you know?” Nesta slides her hand over the table, opening her fingers, letting her know that she was there for her. “You matter and you are important to us.” 

“I’m sorry I didn't mean to burden you with all of this, it’s just so lonely and suffocating sometimes. I’m sorry.” Nesta felt her placing her hand on top of hers, she grasped it, squeezing it hard.

“Never apologise for your feelings. I’m your friend, I'm here to carry this weight with you.” She smiled at the Archeron, sniffling and looking at her with bright blue eyes.

“I don’t deserve a friend like you, thank you for everything Nesta.” The female smiled back at her.

“You don’t have to thank me, it’s my pleasure to call you my friend.” Nesta gave two light squeezes in her hand. “Let’s go?” Y/N nodded, getting up, her barely eaten breakfast disappearing. 

“Alright.” The two females walked towards the training balcony, everyone was there apart from Cassian, he was with the Illyrian troops, gathering them and transporting them towards the Manor, Jurian was already waiting for them with all they needed to feed an army that big. But if everything went according to the plan, it wouldn’t be longer until they were back to their camps. 

“Good morning ladies.” Elain greeted, waving from Lucien’s side. She was more certain of her abilities of Seer now, she thought that she could help if she was around, Lucien wasn’t very fond of the idea but he would never tell her no. 

“Good morning.” Y/N replied, her eyes landing on the distant figure of Azriel, on the farest corner of the balcony, his shadows darted towards her, wrapping themselves around her ankles and wrists, brushing over her face and making her smile. He watched the exchange in silence.

“Since we’re all here, it’s time to go.” Rhysand warned. They all started to get in small groups, the ones able to winnow carrying those who couldn’t.

She felt the breeze on her face, opening her eyes, Morrigan had winnowed them to the front yard of the Manor, where people walked around, getting settled. Winged warriors in battle gears and sharp swords here and there. 

His loud roar sounded when Meraxes felt her closer, startling everyone around. He had been in a sour mood since she left, she knew that. So she ran, looking for him, finding him near Azriel in the backyard. The shadowsinger petted his nose, pointing towards her with a smile. Y/N threw herself against her wyvern, arms engulfing him in a hug. 

“I missed you.” She said and he growled in agreement, like he was telling her to never be apart from him again. She stood like that for what felt like an eternity, just feeling him, their hearts beating as one. “I need to ask you a favour.” His big eyes opened and he stood still. “You won’t be able to protect me once I’m inside, so please protect Lucien’s brothers, they will be vulnerable and we need them.” Meraxes nodded. “I love you.” He puffed some steam around her body, his way of saying that he loved her too.

“I’ll take care of her, I promise that to you.” Azriel said from behind her, he had stayed silent until now. He was hurt from the idea of losing her, but he understood whatever decision she made, he would accept it and he would still love her with every fibre of his being. Meraxes nodded towards him and pushed Y/N away, making her stumble towards Azriel, collapsing against his chest.

“He respects you.” She said as the two walked inside. 

“Just because we both love you.” She stilled, turning to him, cupping his cheeks and pulling him down for a kiss. It was getting harder to think about leaving him. 

“We need to meet them, get everything planned for tomorrow.” She pulled him towards the dining room. 

“Why are we always the ones saving the world?” Cassian groaned, eyeing the map that displayed the lake and the cabin.

“Because we’re fucking awesome.” Morrigan replied, earning a chuckle from the table. 

“Then this should be easy.” Y/N spoke, getting closer to the table.

“Yeah, let’s get everything sorted.” Rhys silenced the table. “The illyrian troops will hide around in the forest along with the Vanserras.” Devlon and the red haired males nodded in agreement. “Azriel will disguise him and Lucien as Y/N and Nesta’s shadow.” Azriel nodded. “Y/N will pretend to take Nesta to him, and as soon as they’re inside, the dome needs to be up.” 

“It will be.” Eris spoke, earning an approving glare from Rhysand. 

“The monsters will attack as soon as he feels that something is wrong, so pay close attention, cut their heads out, and they will 100% die.” Y/N advised. 

“You already know the words Nesta?” The female nodded, she had been studying the freeing spell from the diary, they hoped it worked. “Then I think we are ready.” They all nodded. 

“You all should rest. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.” Elain kindly advised.

“Just a regular day for us folks.” Azriel said, the inner circle started to laugh. “You should rest.” He said, guiding her upstairs to the room they shared in their stay there. 

“If anything happens tomorrow, I'm glad we had this time.” She said, feeling dread setting in her gut. She couldn’t wait for this nightmare to be over.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

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[remembrancer-of-heresy]

Honeymoon

AU Reverse Therapy

Summary: Luka gets the chance to spend a whole month with his beloved Malina. A long time ago, he lived for a whole month with a girl he couldn't love. But he could hate.

Pairing: Chaos!Lamenter/fem!OC/Chaos!Flesh Tearer

Characters: Malina (fem!OC), Luka The Angel (OC Chaos Lamenter), Virgil (OC Chaos Flesh Tearer)

Warnings: yandere, stolkhom syndrome, dubcon, noncon, torture, cannibalism

Word count: 8048

Author's note: I thought I'd remind myself and you that as a Chaos Space Marine, Luka can be quite cruel and terrifying. All scenes with an Imperial soldier will be quite unpleasant. Please be careful.

Song: Garbage - #1 Crush (Nellee Hooper Mix; 2015 Remaster)

Tag List: @druidwolf21, @pluvio-tea, @kit-williams

Luka wanted love. He had been dreaming about this wonderful feeling since he had undergone the reverse therapy. Feeling desire again was akin to bliss and torture at the same time. Of course, the Lamenter understood that as a Space Marine he experienced a much wider range of emotions than mere mortals. He could be a little… uncontrollable.

But he would learn. Luka bitterly regretted what the poor cultist and his two captives had gone through. But now he knew that human women were too fragile and he should not have sex with them for several rounds. And although he did not particularly like it, he also should not drink their blood, no matter how delicious it was. There were plenty of no-man's slaves on board that he could eat. The most important thing was not to harm his beloved.

Beloved. How many feelings and emotions were hidden behind this word. Oh, Luka so hoped that the third girl he found would be the last. His true love, whom he would protect from all the dangers of the world. Mortal men are much weaker than Space Marines. With Luka, the beautiful maiden will feel like she's behind a mountain. All of humanity can roll into the warp with a Corpse on the Throne. But for his beloved, Luka will be a true hero. He will try.

And the Lamenter had better find his maiden as soon as possible. He can't stop thinking about love even during combat. Although shooting Imperial soldiers is quite fun, the siege of heretics was too easy. The Astartes was already starting to get bored while mortals were turning into bloody scraps. And quite tasty. When was the last time he ate a human? It seems like a week ago. Quite a while ago.

"The God-Emperor will guide us, burn heretics!"

Stupid mortals again shout equally stupid words just to keep up morale. In the last couple of minutes, they have not shut up at all. Apparently they are desperate. Luka would like to roll his eyes, but he can't. His hearing caught on the one who was shouting these slogans. The soldier was clearly shouting too much, but his voice was still beautiful.

And the woman was pretty in appearance too. Golden hair, gathered in a high ponytail (had she lost her helmet?), green eyes and a straight nose. A beauty in a word. Luka couldn't help but stare at the girl, and she immediately noticed someone else's gaze and shot at the Lamenter.

"Dirty traitor!"

Luka laughed happily. Usually such a nickname irritated him and mortals always regretted the words they had said earlier. But when this girl said "traitor", it even sounded sweet. Just think, the Astartes didn't know that such pretty girls were being recruited into the Imperial Guard. And was she really supposed to be sent to the army as a tithe?

Well, if the Space Marine tries to be careful and gets to the beauty before the brothers, then she can forget about her terrible past as a soldier. After all, she will have Luka, who will gladly take care of such a cute thorn. Soon she will love him.

A month. He will need only a month.

***

Luka went to his quarters in high spirits after the meeting. Mortals and Space Marines who met him on the way immediately retreated, just to avoid running into him. Sometimes the Lamenter was sad that he was so much feared. Of course, in the past he had done a lot of nasty things, but the same Eurydice was not afraid of him at all. But she, like Virgil, played the mean one and refused the title of "friend".

So be it. And screw what others thought of him. Now the Astartes could not think about anything except the results of the meeting. Bakh joined other Red Corsairs as support for the siege of the forge world Dominica VII. While other Huron forces fought in Malestorm, a small part was ordered to ravage Segmentum Obscurus. Not the most prestigious occupation, but additional resource extraction for the forces of Chaos is also important. Well, demoralizing the forces of the Imperium on the other side of the Rift could be fun.

Besides, it was in this segmentum that Malina lived. Luka now did not regret at all that he was not fighting the main fleet of Huron Blackheart. Although he should not have been fighting now. Half of the Space Marines were just right for a siege that should have lasted at least a month. A quick victory. And if Luka did not have a chance to be on the battlefield, then Virgil was preparing to set foot on the ground right now. And that meant only one thing.

He would finally be alone with Malina. Of course, the Lamenter had plenty of time to spend with the girl alone. And the Flesh Tearer, if he wanted to feel a woman's affection, did it at night and when Luka was absent. Whatever you say, but they were a great team. And yet the Astartes could not calm his jealousy and dreamed of being alone with his beloved for at least three days. And here is a whole wagon of time. If earlier Luka was sulking that he would not be able to torment the Imperials, now he was beaming with delight.

The young man, despite his excitement, slowly opens the door, trying not to scare Malina. She was already awake, finishing washing the floors around the room. Luka could not help but smile at such a picture. The girl was such a hard worker, although she might not clean so often due to her situation. But Malina liked to live in cleanliness. Probably because she herself is pure.

“Oh, you're back already.” - the girl leaned the mop against the wall, smiling embarrassedly. - “How good that I just managed to wash everything. Hope you are doing well?”

She always asked if the space marine was fine, how his day went. None of the mortals in the service of the Emperor allowed themselves such antics. None of the heretics were suicidal to ask about such things. Luka didn't think that this was what he would miss in life. Malina treated him like a man. No, not like that, he was above mortal men (women are beautiful as they are). She treated Luka as if he were her husband.

"Everything is wonderful. Right now, half of our people will land on Dominica VII to help our brothers. The operation will last for a whole month." - Luka said evasively before breaking into a smile. - "And even though Virgil was sent to fight, I will remain on the ship. So you will not have to be bored."

"Oh, that's good. Otherwise, I would go crazy from loneliness." - the girl shyly plays with a lock of hair and the Lamenter can't help but look at such a beautiful vision.

It will be a wonderful month.

***

Lucky Luka. He quickly managed to reach the girl and stun her with his own stock. He even managed to take her unconscious body to the ship without incident. And of course, tie her leg to the bed with a chain so that she could not run away. And so that every Space Marine in the room knew who she belonged to. Alas, the Lamenter did not take into account that this beauty would hiss and fight like a wild cat.

“Y-you vile traitors, I will not betray the Emperor! I-I will not become a heretic, I will not become your slave!” - the girl with golden hair spits so hard that drops of saliva get on Luka’s face. He does not like this behavior, but he forgives her. She is scared, she is used to aggression because of her military service. But everything will be fine.

“Do not be afraid, no one will hurt you. I am Luka, I will protect you.” - the young man stretches out his hands, trying to calm the girl like a wild animal. - “I’ll take care of you.”

“That means he’ll fuck you good.” - Folki, sprawled on the bed, cackles vilely and Luka wants to smash his face until it bleeds. - “He’ll spread you out like a whore and scream how much he loves you. That’s the kind of romantic he is.”

“Shut your mouth, you’re in my way.” - Luka grits his teeth, trying not to show the anger on his face. He shouldn’t scare his captive. But, oh, how nice it would be to smash Folki’s face on the floor. To see how his skin cracks like fabric, how his blood spills onto the floor, and his skin turns into a bloody mess. As delicious as a hot stew.

“Really? And I think I’m helping. Look how she’s shaking, it seems like she’s starting to get it.” - the impudent man gets up from the bed, turning to the soldier with a lewd smile. - “Yes, little thing. Chaos Space Marines are such nasty guys that they know what sex is. And if you weren't Luka's pet, I'd fuck you good."

"SHUT UP!" Luka screams with such fury that even the defiant Folki shuts up. The Lamenter can even discern a drop of fear in his eyes. Yes, he likes that. He wish he could squeeze his head so hard that Folki's brains would leak out of every crevice and the fear in his eyes would grow even more. He likes that.

"Shut up, both of you. You're annoying." - the gruff and silent Nerva calls out from his bed, still clutching his personal slave.

The Lamenter only wrinkled his nose. He hated Folki, but his fury was nothing compared to the envy he felt for Nerva. Folki is a rapist, a lover of a good fight and robbery, a vile and disgusting space wolf. He only knows how to test the patience of his brothers.

Nerva was a secretive Raven Guard, a bastard who hid his secret desires. His only weakness was a legless slave he picked up in the lower levels. She was a fragile creature, desperately clinging to her savior. Luka wanted the same. He wanted to be loved.

Bacchus believed that former loyalists should support each other in order to later become full members of the Red Corsairs. Some formed real brotherly bonds, and some a semblance of family with their slaves. Alas, Luka was unlucky with his neighbors. He hated them. The only consolation he wanted was in love, thanks to his newfound feelings.

Unfortunately, his captive did not want to make contact.

“I don’t give a damn, bastards, do you hear me? The Emperor is with me. I will not surrender to you.” - the girl tried to be brave, but tears were desperately flowing down her cheeks. Luka reached out his hand, intending to wipe them away, but the beauty only pushed him away. - “Don’t touch me.”

“How mean you are. I told you that everything will be fine with you. You are just like a thorn.” - The young man grumbled tiredly, leaning towards the captive. - “Hmm, suits you. Now you will be a Thorn.”

“I am not your pet, traitor! My name is Zegentia Gloz, I am a soldier of the 115th regiment of the Imperial Guard. I will not be a slave to heretics.” - pride in her origin smoldered behind the woman’s tongue and she continued to spit at Luka, infuriating him.

She had an ugly name. Mean and rude, unsuitable for a girl. Eurydice Sever was the captain of the ship, a voidborn, ugly woman with dictatorial manners and sadistic tendencies. But she had a beautiful name and that's why Luka liked her, although they had never communicated. And here... no, he would not allow his green-eyed girl to wear such a disgusting name.

"Fine, if not Thorn, then Pet. That's what I'll call you now." - The Astartes does not give the soldier a chance to spew new insults, tying a muzzle on her face. - "It's a very cute name, just right for you. So be a good girl and stop acting so viciously."

Unable to speak or move her limbs, the woman only continued to look angrily at Luka. He only sighed tiredly, remembering "Flower" and "Rain" with pain in his heart. The Lamenter thought that now with experience he would be a better man for beautiful ladies. It turned out that he would have to face other difficulties.

***

“Oh, Luka. I’m so worried about Commissar Cain.” - the girl hugged the book to her chest, looking at Luka with horror. - “He was just surrounded by enemies. I understand that this is only the middle of the book. But some books ended in the middle, and the next 200 pages were devoted to pleading with the Emperor and the hero the book was written about. What if it’s the same here?”

The mourner only pursed his lips, listening to Malina. He was glad that she liked all the books he brought her. Besides, the book about Commissar Cain turned out to be much better than the one about Saint Celestine (he hated it, damn Ignatius). Luka even listened to Malina’s opinion with pleasure.

Although he was not supposed to worry about the hero of the novel, much less a real person. After all, they were fighting on different sides. But seeing the girl’s worries, Luka couldn’t help but worry himself. This commissioner should live a little longer so that Malina doesn't worry in vain!

"Don't worry! You know Commissar Cain and his courage. He got out of so many troubles thanks to his faith in the God-Emperor." - The Lamenter smiled happily at the girl, noting with pleasure how faith in his words appeared on her face. - "He'll get out of this trouble too!"

What is he talking about... if Virgil were here, he would have fallen out of bed laughing. But fortunately, he wasn't here and he has to freeze his ass on the planet while Luka is having fun with Malina. Although reading about Commissar Cain wasn't the best entertainment, the Lamenter still had to admit. He was interested himself.

"You're right, Luka. Of course you're right." - Malina smiled happily and Luka blushed from such praise. - "How could I doubt him. In the end, he dodged a bullet thanks to faith… though.”

The girl moved her fingers and Luka obediently moved closer. To then blush even more from how Malina came closer to his ear. Her whisper and soft voice wrapped around his entire insides. It was so pleasant that the Lamenter almost missed her words.

“Although I’m sure he was just staring at the girl’s ass.”

Luka laughed, amazed by the girl’s words. Malina, embarrassed by her assumption, hid her face in the book, continuing to read. Luckily, a couple of pages later it turned out that Commissar Cain managed to survive. Luka was even happy for this lucky bastard.

***

“Come on, this is very tasty porridge. I bet it’s even tastier than your rations at work.” - Luka holds out a spoon with food to the green-eyed girl’s mouth, waiting for her to finally eat. - “Open your mouth, Pet. You’ll like it.”

But she only turns her head away, hoping that the Lamenter won’t see her tears. But he does. The woman clearly wanted to eat, but for the most part she refused to eat. Only sometimes did she obediently allow herself to be fed, when she couldn’t overcome her hunger. Luka saw in her eyes that at such moments she blamed herself. She was ashamed to eat from the hand of a traitor.

On this day, she apparently wasn’t so hungry.

“Well, please, Pet. You’ll agree anyway later. Why not stop acting like that then. Eat.” - Luka pokes the spoon into the woman's lips and she can't take it anymore, throws the spoon away and spits in his face. Again.

"Traitor!" - the woman hisses, but immediately stops short when she sees Luka's angry face. She, like all domestic animals, hides in a corner and whines quietly, afraid to move.

"Yes. Traitor. And I don't regret it at all. I don't regret betraying my order. I don't regret eating my brothers." - The mourner sits down next to the blonde, gently stroking her back while she whines. - "I don't regret eating your comrades. You know, I could have fed you their meat, I have supplies. But I'm giving you porridge."

The man squeezes the woman's shoulder tightly and she gasps in pain. Saliva and snot freely flowed down her chin. She looked simply disgusting. But Luka even liked it. He liked taking care of her. If only she would let him do it.

“Stop being so bad. Stop it or I’ll eat you alive.” - He doesn’t want to scare her, but the Pet has gotten on his nerves. He has to calm her down. - “And stop praying to the Corpse on the Throne, he won’t help you.”

Luka gets to his feet, kicking the bowl of porridge at the woman whining in the corner and sits down on the bed. How hard it was for him with her. Blue eyes catch on Nerva and Yuna hugging. Seeing the Lamenter’s interest, the slave girl clung tighter to the Space Marine, hiding her face. Luka swallowed, seeing such a picture. It was so cute.

“Nerva, mortal women like to be friends and all that, right?” Luka is awkward talking to the silent Raven Guard, but he, as a good soldier, is used to dealing with difficulties. - “Maybe Yuna should become friends with Pet? They’ll have more fun together. Maybe she’ll even behave better.”

“I won’t let Yuna get one step near your whore.” - the black-clad space marine hugs the legless slave tighter, inhaling the scent of her hair. - “This bitch is mad. You shouldn't have picked her up.”

Luka wanted to say something in response. To protect his beloved, but he couldn’t find the words. In truth, he didn’t like calling Pet “beloved.” The nickname didn’t suit her at all. He was already regretting picking her up. But the Lamenter couldn’t just get rid of this woman, could he? She was his responsibility now. Yes, it was hard now. But everything would get better later. It would.

***

“Oh, Luka, you spoil me. The porridge is delicious as it is, you didn’t have to bring chocolate.” - the girl looks at the Lamenter with embarrassment and gratitude. Luka only smiles in response, unable to take his eyes off those wonderful brown eyes. No one has ever looked at him like that in his life and never will.

“Mortals need variety. And you cleaned the room so well last time. And I thought you needed encouragement.”

Of course, it was just an excuse. He really liked spoiling Malina. Doing nice things for her, taking care of her. Yesterday, she dared to sing him a folk song of Astarte despite her embarrassment. It was so wonderfully homely that Luka simply couldn’t help but do something in response.

He couldn’t sing as beautifully as an Astartes. But he could bring chocolate taken from the governor’s palace. Most of these products were stored in the warehouse, waiting for the next Feast. But being one of Bakh's closest Space Marines, Luka could afford himself small liberties. He had been denied such privileges before.

"Well, if you say so." Malina carefully took a bite of the chocolate, savoring the taste. Before giving Luka a sly look. He felt his ears turn red. "But then you should try it too."

Malina held out the chocolate to him, waiting for Luka to take it. He took it. Only instead of fingers, he used his own teeth. The Lamenter felt his cheeks flush even more at the sight of the girl's embarrassment. They looked more like village lovers than a Chaos Space Marine and a prisoner.

"It is indeed delicious." The man leaned towards the girl to leave one small kiss on the cheek, which, however, turns into a scattering. "But you are tastier."

Malina bursts into laughter and Luka only continues to kiss her face harder, like a bird pecking at food. The mourner squeezes the girl in his arms, pressing himself against the girl's chest. The calm heartbeat and ringing laughter indicated that Malina was not afraid of him. No, today she was not afraid. And Luka was ready to drown the entire Imperium in blood so that this miracle would last forever.

***

The ungrateful bitch decided to kill him. She somehow managed to steal his knife. She waited until he and everyone else in the room fell asleep and then attacked him with her weapon. The idiot forgot that she was a captive of a space marine and one blow would not be enough. But the Pet did not even have time to strike when Luka hit her in the face, knocking out several teeth.

“You bitch have completely lost your mind, if you thought about killing me, huh? Huh?” - the man continued to pound into the yielding hips, ignoring the woman’s tears. He himself was crying while using her dry pussy for his pleasure. - “Why? Why? Why did you do this? I cared about you, everything should have been fine. You ruined everything!”

“Are you seriously crying while raping her?” - Folki, like a pervert, watched the entire process, shamelessly jerking off. - “You’re being so pathetic.”

“Shut up! I’m mourning my relationship. A freak like you wouldn’t understand.” - The Lamenter makes a final move, finally spilling his seed inside the screaming woman. Tears roll freely down his face as he looks at the equally tear-stained face. - “You betrayed me. You betrayed our love.”

“I-I only love the God-Emperor. H-he is my strength and f-faith.” - the woman swallows, unable to move. But she still has the strength and audacity to look at Luka. The Lamenter wants to suck out those green eyes. - “I will never love a m-monster like you!”

Luka howls like a wounded animal so loudly that Folki stops satisfying himself, and Nerva covers Yuna’s ears. The young man stops crying. Even though it hurts, it hurts so much. No weapon or poison could hurt him as much as the Pet did. His real heart beats like crazy in agony.

Something breaks in Luka. He can't stand that condemning look anymore. As if in a fog, the Lamenter immediately pounces on the woman and starts sucking on her right eye. The woman, who was trying to act decently just a few seconds ago, is now screaming in pain, begging him to stop.

"Oh, you're such a sick bastard." - Folki tries to act cheeky, but Luka can catch a glimpse of his disgust. If a bastard like him is terrified, then something is really wrong with Luka. Yuna is quietly crying in Nerva's arms and the boy wants to apologize to her for scaring her. But he can't. All his thoughts and thoughts are focused only on the one who betrayed him.

"If you don't want my care, you won't get it. You will not have my love. Do you hear?" - Luka feels the wonderful taste of mucus and blood on his lips and he involuntarily licks his lips. - "If you are not fit to be my beloved, you will be an appetizer."

The woman cries, begging for mercy. But Luka is no longer listening. He does not care.

***

The siege was going well. The Chaos Space Marines continued to capture more and more outposts and send captured resources to the ships. Including slaves, both for hard work and for pleasure. Luka and Virgil's room was one of the best, and the compartment looked tolerable.

And yet the Lamenter could not understand where his neighbors had so much time and, most importantly, energy for torture. The same Virgil also participated in the torture of imperial soldiers and aristocrats in order to suppress waves of anger. But Luka was alien to this. If you torture and kill, then only on the battlefield. It is much more fun than taking slaves to rooms.

But if before Luka only rolled his eyes, now he was grateful to all the sadists around. He was ready to sing their praises. After all, all these cries and pleas scared his sweet Malina so much that she, having only heard them, immediately rushed to Luka. She lay next to him on the bed, seeking protection.

“I know that they are heretics.” - Navina Malina whispers to the slyly grinning Luka in the shoulder, while he stroked her hair. - “But I still feel sorry for them. It hurts.”

She is very kind and merciful. Kinder than Luka. In the old days, he would have pitied the slaves, but now he does not care. Sometimes the Lamenter wondered if maybe he had not gone crazy on that desert planet where he ate his brothers? Maybe he had always been a bad person? But on the other hand, even before the girl called him Angel, he was already going to save her. As well as the children. Maybe he's not so bad after all...

As soon as a woman's scream and the men's laughter resounded in the corridor, Malina pressed herself closer to Luka. The mourner only sighed at the behavior of mortal men. Why do they like to rape different women so much? Why don't they want to find the one and only one they will love.

"Angel, I'm scared." - Malina squeaked like a mouse, placing her palms on the man's chest. Luka swallowed, trying to suppress his growing erection. Of course, he could put his beloved to bed, but that would be disrespectful to her. She was scared as it was. So let her sleep.

Alas, but Luka did not close an eye, watching Malina's peaceful face.

***

“When we’re no longer recruits, I’m going to gorge myself on those governors’ food like crazy.” - Folki picked at his porridge with his fork like a child. He was going to steal the mutton and the wine supplies, but the red corsairs had taken everything. Full members of the squad. The three had served for only a short time and had not yet had time to prove themselves on the battlefield.

“Are you going to become the next Bacchus?” - Luka kicks his helmet into the far corner of the room out of boredom. He snaps his fingers, but the helmet is still in the corner of the quarters. The Space Marine rolled his eyes. He was in no mood to torment the stupid creature. - “Pet, have you lost your fear? Go ahead and bring it.”

“And why not, hm? And anyway, you must have noticed that he gives preference to all former loyalists.” - Folki smirked nasally, watching the Lamenter’s captive. - “Especially the likes of me. He was a Space Wolves himself, haven't you heard?"

"Then why is he called Bacchus?" - Nerva notes, carefully combing Yuna's hair. He had already managed to change her into cleaner, neater clothes, which he had managed to steal. - "It doesn't look like a Fenrisian name."

"No idea. Maybe he got himself a new one. How would I even know?" - Folki bristles like an angry dog, but sighs, settling down on the bed. - "They're moving a new guy in with us."

"What? There's not enough room here as it is, and now we have to put up with another mug?!" - Luka throws the helmet into the corner again like a child, watching as the woman hurried to pick it up. A loud cough and the Pet, understanding the hint, immediately dropped to her knees and crawled on her haunches."

"And the main thing is who exactly." - Folki kicks the Pet that came close, forcing it to crawl a different way. - "My old friend Loki. May the warp eat him, he's mad. And an idiot too."

"Stupider and wilder than you?" - Nerva looked at the space wolf with distrust. Having finished combing Yuna's hair, he kissed the girl on the top of her head. She only closed her eyes. She had been very weak lately. - "It would be easier to kill him."

"It would be better if you all died." - a quiet sound was heard and everyone in the room immediately turned to look at the one-eyed woman leaning over her helmet. She looked at everyone with an angry look. - "Traitors."

Luka clenched his teeth in anger. He immediately jumped out of bed and headed towards the woman, noting with pleasure how she cowered in fear. Now not as bold and tongue-tied as before? The young man grabbed the woman by the leg. Hearing the crunch, he only grinned and threw her to the other end of the quarters like a carcass.

“I don’t understand what else she’s hoping for.” - Luka crunched his head in displeasure before wrinkling his nose. The Pet was so scared that she emptied her stomach. The smell of urine rose in the room. - “How disgusting. Now clean up after yourself.”

The woman was about to take it with a rag, but the Lamenter’s clicking stopped him immediately. The Pet looked at him in fear until Luka nodded towards the mess. “Clean up with your mouth, properly.”

The Imperial soldier began to cry in a hunted manner. Her entire body hunched over, making her resemble the slaves from the lowest levels. But she had not yet become as pathetic as them. At least not yet. Overcoming the nausea, Pet nevertheless dropped to her knees and began to lick her own urine.

“And yet you seemed the most normal of us.” - Nerva looked at the woman’s efforts in surprise, hiding Yuna in his arms as she fell asleep. Luka involuntarily shrugged, ashamed of his behavior in front of the legless girl.

“I hardly torture, unlike many. And anyway, she wanted to kill me. And I gave her a chance.”

“Yes, yes, keep making excuses, little sadist.” - Folki turned away from the disgusting picture to the wall in amazement. Luka himself found what was happening disgusting. But he continued to watch. Since he had ordered Pet to do this, he would continue to watch this mess.

***

Luka loved to watch Malina. How she reads, prays, eats, sleeps. And especially the pleasure she experiences when they have sex. But most of all, the Lamenter loved to watch her take a bath. He never thought that this would capture his brain. But even the first time, when Luka first saw Malina in the water, he could not get rid of this image in his head.

Of course, like any other girl, Malina wanted to be alone with herself. Luka did not mind this. Therefore, most often he just opened the door. And watched the girl bask in the water. How her olive skin blushes from the temperature. How she breathes. How gently she spreads soap and other creams on her skin.

Malina is always beautiful, but especially at such moments.

The Lamenter would like to remain unnoticed so that the girl could rest. But he still could not resist and entered the bathroom, wanting to talk to Malina. Tell a little about the siege of the planet, about the successes in commanding the squad. And of course, the most important thing. To complain.

“Eurydice says that I have to justify the title of captain, can you imagine? I already go to their training and plan boarding tactics when I'm not too lazy. What else does she need?!”

“Maybe you should be a little more serious when you're with your squad.” - the girl suggested, hugging her knees to her chest. - “Well, the last time you were just hanging out on the ship instead of training.”

“Yes, it was so much fun.” - the Lamenter sighed dreamily before looking dejectedly at Malina. - “But I don't want to be serious. The squad will stop loving me.”

“Then don't be.” - the girl shrugged.

“But Eurydice will scold me and the squad won't respect me.” - the man leaned his cheek on the railing like a beaten puppy.

“Then be.”

“How complicated it all is.” - Luka stroked the girl’s fluffy hair, glad that he had not spent an entire hour cleaning the aristocrat’s bathroom in vain. Now Malina, in addition to soap, had a whole set of personal care products. - “And what would you do in my place?”

“Have no idea,” - the girl smiled shyly, causing a response from the Lamenter. - “Unfortunately, they didn’t teach us how to manage an entire squad of space marines on the agro-world. So I’m pretty incompetent in such matters. But perhaps you should listen to Eurydice. Try to find a balance. But still, your subordinates should respect you since you are a captain. And only then love you.”

“You are so smart. I am so lucky to have you.” - Luka admired the girl before his gaze caught on the sponge. - “Let me rub your back.”

“If you wish so.” - the girl awkwardly turned her back to the man and he immediately got down to business. Carefully, just so as not to tear off such lovely skin from the body.

There was something especially intimate in this action. Not just trust. But care. Luka tried to use only a soapy sponge, but the temptation was too strong. The mourner soaped the girl's back with his hand, amazed at how pleasant her skin felt to the touch. How soft it was. Luka snuggled up to Malina, tenderly kissing her shoulder blades.

Maybe they should arrange joint water procedures more often? Next time, Malina could soap Luka's back.

***

“Yeah, that’s it. Good. What an obedient Pet, ha.” - Luka laughs lightly, stroking his mate’s hair. No one in their right mind would think that he’s a vile and mean pervert if they heard his laugh. But here he is. Using his slave’s mouth for sexual pleasure.

He’s already had his fill of her female parts. And besides, he’s torn everything there, causing the Pet to bleed constantly. Both from the inside and the outside. Last time, he bit into her tender flesh so hard that he ended up tearing out a couple of pieces of meat, including a cute button. But he didn’t feel sorry. She didn’t deserve to have this pleasure.

“Take it deeper, stupid. Come on.” - Luka pushes his cock further into her mouth, squeezing her short-cropped hair. In some places, it was torn out to the point of baldness. The pet didn't look its best. There were bruises and black eyes everywhere. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her nose was broken in several places. There were open wounds on her arms and legs. Some of them were already starting to fester.

She looked disgusting, but not yet disgusting enough to start smelling like the Death Guard's abode. In addition, her slippery wet mouth pleasantly wrapped around his huge member. And the one-eyed woman crushing him with her size and saliva was so pathetic that the Lamenter only laughed even more at the sight of her. His balls hit her chin pleasantly.

“And yet once upon a time you prayed to your Corpse on the Throne with this very mouth.” - The Astartes stroked the girl's hair almost tenderly.

Perhaps she has not yet broken completely. Perhaps this slave still has faith in the God-Emperor. To her credit, she had tried to maintain her sanity and loyalty to the Imperium to the end. Even in this hell. And yet, Luka was not about to praise her for it, especially when she sank her teeth into his cock.

“You filthy bitch!” Luka grabbed the woman’s hair so hard he heard it crack. It seemed like another bald spot would appear on her head. Great. Even better, the one-eyed animal screamed in pain, opening her mouth wide just like he wanted. “Don’t think you’ll get away from me. I’ll use every hole of yours if I want.”

And right now, he wanted her mouth, and the Lamenter was not about to deny himself that pleasure. Grabbing the woman’s front tooth, he waited a moment until he saw the realization in her eyes, and pulled it out. As easily as if it were a fake. Pet whined, choking on her own blood.

“p-please, noo.” The woman wheezed in pain, but Luka continued to pull out her teeth with a cold gaze. His cock ached with arousal and he wanted to let his pleasure out. He wanted an obedient mouth and he would get it.

“That’s much better.” Luka smirked at the bloody and toothless woman. Now she wouldn’t be able to bite him anymore. Now she wouldn’t be able to insult him like before. “Now open your vile mouth, stupid slave of the Corpse on the Throne before I pull out something else.”

This time, the Pet obediently opened her mouth as wide as she could despite the heartbreaking pain. It became even more intense as Luka shoved his cock inside. The Lamenter moaned loudly from the intoxicating feeling. No more teeth, only metallic, delicious blood covering his cock.

It felt so good that it took him a little while to cum. The woman, like an obedient slave, swallows his sperm along with his blood. And yet, a few drops still fall on the floor. Without looking at Luka, she immediately begins to lick the floor, causing her tormentor to laugh.

“Wow, you’ve become so smart. Did I really have to treat you like an animal from the very beginning?” - Luka watches with unprecedented sadism as the imperial soldier sheds tears on the cold floor. - “You never deserved the honor of becoming my beloved.”

Unhappy creature. That’s what Luka would have thought earlier, seeing this body writhing in agony. But the young man had already managed to get to know this woman well and knew how rotten she was. He hated her.

***

Luka was in paradise. He couldn't call it anything else. But isn't it paradise? Sitting on the bed while a beautiful girl tries to tame your cock. Malina was too soft and weak, so mostly the Lamenter directed her hips up and down. Up and down.

Her natural lubrication helped the penetration wonderfully. The pleasure that engulfed the girl from head to toe squeezed the walls around the cock as hard as possible. The slurping shameless sounds of flesh on flesh, as well as sighs of pleasure filled the dark room. Pure bliss.

Malina settled her head on Luka's shoulder, unable to cope with the whirlwind of emotions. The Lamenter didn't mind. He wanted to see her soft lips and trembling eyelashes. But if the girl was tired, then it was okay. He would enjoy her sight to his heart's content when they fell asleep together.

The girl seemed to hear his thoughts and slowly raised her head, looking straight into Luka's blue eyes. The man's breath caught at the sight of her.

"You saved me." - Malina carefully grasps the man's chin with her small fingers. And Luka moans from her touch and words. - "You saved me. If it weren't for you, I would have died. I am so grateful. I am so grateful, Angel."

It was too much. Too much even for him. Luka could no longer think normally, speeding up the process. The girl moaned again, but this time fear settled in her eyes. She immediately hid her face on his chest. The mourner only laughed loudly at this. Luka felt drool running down his chin. He probably looked like a madman, but he didn't care.

Yes, he is her Angel, her savior, her lover. No one will take Malina away from him. She will be with him forever. He will take care of it. And all those who want to taste her flesh or offend her can roll into the warp. Luka will gnaw off their legs and arms and make them watch their loved ones die. He will turn them into mincemeat and sew a new cloak for Virgil. Because Malina is only his. Only his.

Luka did not notice how he came. He breathed for a long time, trying to cope with the excitement and evil thoughts. For some time he sat like that, still enjoying Malina's inner flesh. But the Astartes returned to reality again, finally hearing the crying.

“Malina? Hey, hey, what's wrong? What happened?” - Luka knew she was crying. He liked the look of her, but still, he had to calm her down.

“S-sorry, I was just so scared.” - the girl looked at Luka and he saw a waterfall of tears rolling down her cheeks. - “You had such a look.”

“Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just love you so much that I can't hold back. Your words got me going.”

“Alright. Next time I’ll keep quiet.”

“No, no. Don’t. I want you to say all those sweet things to me. They make me happier.” - Luka gently wipes Malina’s face before letting her lie down on his chest. - “You’re going to say them, right?”

The girl whines on his chest, but nods anyway. Luka smiles and gently kisses Malina’s forehead before running his hand through her dark hair. Poor thing. She’s so easily scared. It’s a good thing the Lamenter saved her and now she’s under his protection.

***

Yuna died. Quietly in her sleep. She did not suffer at all. But the inconsolable Nerva suffered. Luka already regretted his envy of the man, looking at how the Raven Guard sniffed the cut lock of the girl's hair. He felt sorry for his brother. Nerva became even more withdrawn and rude. But most importantly, lonely.

He was similar to Luka in some ways. Unlike Folka, the reverse therapy had a very strong effect on them. They craved love. But the conditions in which they lived did not allow them to have mortal girls. They were too fragile, and the space marines had not yet had time to become a real part of the team.

And still, they could not resist their desire every time. Their call of the heart. Nerva, at least, made sure that Yuna was burned, and not eaten or thrown into a corpse pit. Fortunately, the wild Loki did nothing but sleep. So he didn't try to piss Nerva off. Folki sat silently in the room, trying not to stand out. Even he had gotten used to the legless girl. Without her, the room became completely gloomy. Suffocating.

Luka involuntarily glanced at the one-eyed and toothless woman. She looked back at him like an obedient Pet, smiling like an idiot. Waiting for his orders like a dumb animal. The proud soldier, ready to fight for the Imperium and her loved ones, was gone. The woman Luka had liked in that battle was gone. He didn't miss her. But there was no point in torturing the slave either. She had no place in this quarter.

Having put a chain on the Pet's collar, Luka led her out of the room. She was about to go on all fours, but he forbade her with a gesture. The Lamenter hoped to get to the lower levels as quickly as possible. He couldn't stand her smell any longer. Her gaze. Her presence. Her entire existence was poisoned by him. Luka was not going to pity her. He had been waiting too long for the nightmares about his eaten brothers to stop. He did not need another burden of guilt.

“This is your new home now, Pet.” - Luka unhooks the chain from the collar, but the stupid bitch does not go inside the hall where the unfortunate slaves clung to life. The mourner angrily kicks the woman and she falls forward by inertia. - “Don’t be stubborn, you will like it here. There are the same pathetic slaves here as you.”

But Pet tries to grab the man’s leg, begging with her one eye not to let her go. She tries to say something, but without teeth and with a bitten tongue, she is doing poorly. A month ago, Luka would have been happy with such treatment. But this was not love. Not the one he was looking for. This was animal instinct.

“Let go, worthless.” - Luka hits the woman in the jaw again, causing it to break. The woman screams in pain, rolling on her back. But the Lamenter only turns away from the former Imperial soldier and leaves the lower level. His soul has not become any easier.

He has only gotten rid of the trash.

***

“Luka, do you remember anything from your childhood?” - the girl blinked innocently, clinging to the space marine. Screams were heard again and the frightened Malina, of course, hurried to her savior. And although the screams of the captives quickly died down, the girl was in no hurry to return to bed. Although Luka would not have let her go even if she tried. Perhaps she knew it.

“Not really.” - the man hummed thoughtfully. - “I remember that I had parents. They loved me. I think. I remember our homemade stew. It seemed to me the most delicious in the world.”

“If you bring groceries and a small stove with a saucepan, I can try to cook it.”

“That’s very kind of you. Thank you.” - Luka gently tucked a lock of hair behind the girl’s ear. How lucky he was to have her. - “But most of the memories are lost. Basically, I only remember my training when I was accepted into the ranks of the Lamenters. I was very proud then. I thought I would become a hero.”

He should have continued to play the part, but then again, Malina was naive enough. Luka wasn’t trying too hard, letting the girl believe in the illusion of the loyalist Space Marines. And yet, he felt like he was walking on a dangerous line. He wanted so much to cry on her shoulder.

He could still hear the cries of his brothers at night. He didn’t miss them. He thought they were pathetic. But the Lamenters still wouldn’t let Luka out of their embrace. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t change his armor to the Red Corsairs’?

“But you’re my hero.” - the girl gently strokes Luka’s hair before running her hand down his cheek. Only then did the Space Marine realize he was crying. - “Do you remember the stories your parents told you before bed?”

“No.” - the man looks at the girl, fascinated. Just a couple of seconds ago, he was lamenting the past. Although here it is, the present right before his eyes. Malina is much better than the empty promises and debt that Astartes promised him. That the Imperium promises. Maybe Luka, deep down, regretted that he sided with the traitors. But now, looking at Malina, he understood that he did not.

It was the right decision.

“I can tell you a fairy tale that helped me fall asleep as a child. It is about a little boy who managed to survive in the desert. And all in order to return home. Because a rose was waiting for him there.” - the girl looks closely at Luka and seeing the right answer in his eyes, she finally smiled. - “Well then, listen.”

Malina made a good storyteller. It was as if Luka himself found himself in the desert, overcoming all its difficulties. It was as if he himself was walking on the hot sand, suffering from hunger and heat. And the terrible cold that comes at night. Cruel winds blew on him, and everywhere he could see the corpses of the same weak children like him. Who could not survive the hardships of the radiation desert. Who could not pass the test.

But the boy was able to survive. And despite the curse that came with him. Despite the thirst for blood, he was able to rise to the heights. Only in order to leave this terrible world. To leave behind other children. And return to the rose that had been waiting for him since its birth. Not knowing that such a fragile flower like her needs protection. Needs an Angel.

For the first time in many years, Luka allows himself to fall asleep first. Allows the fairy tale and the wonderful girl's voice to envelop him like a warm blanket. Allows himself to close his eyes and fall asleep. But even in his dreams, Malina is near.

They will always be together.

[princesspastel8]

• Gentle •

A Sleep token(Vessel) one-shot

No smut, just fluff.

《 First time writing a xreader. So bare with me.》

°this is based on a dream I had. I hope you all enjoy°

~ words used throughout this story: you, your, you're, she, her ~

♡ Story written in Third Person POV ♡

- Life is full of ups and downs. Most go through trauma that shapes and molds them into who they are today. Others seek help. Most live with it. Life is full of trials, some easier than others. You past a few and fail others. Life is full of choices. You may choose good, but everyone is allowed to make bad ones - bad choices.

Life is what you make of it.

But sometimes, life can get lonely. One can surround themselves with family, friends, or maybe even a lover- but most still feel an empty void that no one is able to fill. So you try a different tactic, shopping. This method only hurts your pockets and places others in debt.

Music

A way to express one's self. A way to distract or help concentrate. An alternative method to fill a void.

That is y/n's method. The only one that serves to distract the ache in her heart when the loneliness strikes. Y/n's life is one that most could relate to. Growing up as the middle child, parents constantly arguing, a passive-aggressive older brother, a compulsive lying little sister, and a brother with autism that's a year apart from her in age.

A loving family, on the surface.

There wasn't abuse of any kind, but the weight of responsibility fell onto y/n's shoulders at such a young age. Trying to protect her siblings from hearing their parents fight while watching over her autistic brother. You suffered in silence, thriving for perfection in everything you do to avoid being fussed at and nitpick - while dealing with a little sister that always got her way by lying.

Sure, this life may not be as bad for most - but pain is pain. Trauma is trauma.

As the years pass, the weight of this responsibility grows heavier. Y/n grew up with no friends and not much attention given to her by her parents. You did receive love from your aunts, but that too was cut loose by your jealous mother - having witnessed her daughters grow closer to her sisters.

Middle school came and went, only making two friends - both transfering to different schools. High school came, full of nothing but hardships that caused y/n's trust issues to blossom.

Y/N has been known to be the strong one. Strong and independent - you needed no one, but she did. Y/N struggles to express yourself properly. In times where crying is needed, you'd turn to anger - wrath - until she snaps. Having to deal with a narcissistic toxic best friend, you desperately needed someone - anyone. Y/N couldn't let the best friend go, having been your only friend at the time.

Y/N didn't want to be alone.

But the dating began....

Relationship after Relationship leaves you more battered and bruised than the last, but senior year comes - and you meet him. A man Y/N couldn't get enough of. A man who knew her better than you knew yourself. A man who also hurt her in the end.

He did return, making amends - but nothing comes from this. Your heart, however, still wanted him - but you knew you had to let him go.

Have you ever encountered someone and began to picture how your life would pan out if you were to be with them?

Y/N did, with that man. She could see her life pan out differently, the opposite of what she wanted.

To put it quite frankly, Y/N is terrible at love.

How can she spot a good man when Y/N's father has only ever been an example of the bad? He did try his best, but it wasn't enough.

So here she is, now living with the aunt that showered her in the attention she needed as a child. Life is better, more calm - peaceful. The once suffocating responsibility is light. She has friends who are trustworthy, loyal, and honest. That deep void full of sadness & loneliness should be gone - yes?

No.

She has love. Love from family. Love from friends. Yet she still longs for something she's no longer sure what it may be.

A lover.

Again, her luck in men is poor. She's never encountered a man who has a gentleness to them. Most men try to use her, her last relationship being the worse. The provoking picking leads to pointless arguments. The pressure to perform lewd acts, only to be left disgusted and full of shame.

At this point, she doubts she'll ever meet a man who will cherish her.

Having never been shown proper love from a partner, she stays to herself. She's still so young. She has time to find the right one, but her mental road blocks prevent her from being optimistic.

Music.

Ah yes, the one healthy method to help sooth the ache in her heart.

Music has been the one thing she fully relied on to help ease the tiniest pitches of pain lingering in her heart. It's only a matter of time before she stumbles upon a band known as 'Sleep Token'. Instantly, she's hooked.

Their songs, their sound - his voice.

She's obsessed, deeply rooted in all things involving this band. Their music, the lyrics, captivating her in a way she couldn't explain. Sleep token brings her peace within her clouded void. They're the perfect distraction.

Soon, she goes to see them live. The experience lights a spark within her, making her truly cherish the art that is Sleep token.

Y/N starts from the back rows, with each passing show - bringing herself closer and closer to the stage until she's front row. Mesmerizing. The only word she could use to describe that breathtaking moment.

Watching Vessel prance around, ii banging out on the drums, iii and his wild antics and screams towards the crowd, and iv- making the ladies scream with his sensual hand motions Truly a experience all should bare witness to. A taste of a drug, and she's addicted.

Every show that's near, she's there, front row with the brightest smile - swaying to each song and softly mumbling the lyrics word for word. Watching Sleep token live & up close has become her only means to de-stress.

It didn't take Vessel long to notice her. Sure, he's performed in many sold-out shows, seen many faces within the crowd- but seeing her front row during his concerts brings a joy he struggles to describe. He sometimes finds himself scanning the crowd in hopes of seeing her, though performing in a state too far for her to travel.

He's just as captivated as she is with him, if not more. The way her e/c eyes sparkle when he performs her favorite songs, the way her h/c hair aligns with the swaying of her hips, and how her smile brightens when she believes they've made eye contact- y/n can never tell due to his mask.

Vessel catches himself singing to her rather than the crowd. He can't help himself. Something about her is so alluring. At some point, he can no loner bare just watching her from the crowd. He wants y/n near, closer.

He proposes the idea of backstage passes, adding heavier security to keep things safer for everyone. iii is always the one doing most of the talking with fans while the other bandmates participate in taking photos. It isn't until the second to last fan leaves that Vessel's efforts finally paid off.

There she is, smile so bright, it's blinding. He's the first to approach her, hands clasp together in thanks as he nods his head to her.

"Oh my gosh, Hi! Uh- hello! I'm a huge fan. I hate that I haven't discovered you guys sooner. Your music is amazing, I love what you guys do! I try to come to every show to gather in worship with you all!" She geeks, rambling nervously.

Vessel watches her, his heart light & full of joy. He chuckles, "Yes. I've noticed."

Silence.

His bandmates are surprised, but y/n looks as if she's about to faint. Vessel doesn't speak directly, nor indirectly to the fans. Its apart of his persona as 'Vessel'. Nevertheless, why did he speak to her out of all the fans he's encountered today?

"Y-Y-You have?" She gulps, stammering over her words.

He smiles, taking the pen and notepad from her hands. "Yeah. It's hard to forget a smile as bright as your own." He said, writing his autograph as well as a little note only meant for her eyes.

The others share a look from behind their mask, walking up to the two. iii grins, giving y/n a side hug while signing the next page. ii and iv following suit while iii does most of the talking. Vessel stays near, a smile tugging at his lips. The sparking joy in her eyes makes his heart leap.

Y/N turns back to Vessel, a blush growing on her cheeks. She's gotten a picture with all the other members, except him. "U-Uh...can- I mean, may I have a picture?" She didn't forget the compliment made about her smile.

He nods, moving to stand next to her and places his hands together. He keeps a good distance, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Once the picture is taken, Y/N gives her thanks that turns into rambles again. Noticing this, Adam comes over to inform y/n that time is up.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I know you guys must be exhausted. Thank you...so much!" She smiles, about to turn away.

Vessel stops her, placing his hand on her shoulder. She turns to look at him, eyes wide. "I'll... see you at our next show, right?"

Y/N still isn't used to Vessel talking so freely like this - she'll never be. With a quick nod, she says, "Well, duh! Front row, too!"

He laughs, her enthusiasm contagious. "Looking forward to it." He hums, waving as she leaves.

iii is the first to speak up, "mate, what the hell was that?"

Vessel turns to them, shrugging with a grin. "She waited all that time to meet us. Wanted to give her something worthwhile."

ii nods, understanding his reasoning - but that grin of his tells a different story. "Right... but be careful. Some fans can be pretty -"

"Yeah, yeah." Vessel waves him off, still feeling giddy from finally being able to properly meet you, talk to you.

iv grins, putting two and two together but stays quiet. He, to, has noticed your familiar face in the crowd of their shows. He knows true devotion when he sees it. This goes beyond loyalty. This runs deeper. Whatever Vessel is planning, he's sure it's for the betterment of her as well as himself.

Y/N makes it home, heart full of happiness. She rushes to her room to share her time with yet the same guy mentioned before - the one who knows her better than she knows herself. However, he wasn't amused. He showed no signs in wanting to share her joy. He does that, showing no enthusiasm when it comes to anything he doesn't like - Sleep Token being on that list.

With each passing text, her excitement & joy die down - turning stolis. Wish a heavy sigh, she places her phone down, curling up in bed. She should cut ties with him. They have no future together, so why hold on to hopeless love?

Time.

So much time has been invested into this person. Starting over is out of the question. Going through opening up, being vulnerable to another potential partner isn't a option. Y/N doesn't want to risk having to bare yet another broken heart.

She holds her notepad close to her chest before opening it, smiling sadly at their signatures- until looking at Vessel's. Her eyes nearly bug out of her sockets. She traces her fingers over the writing in complete shock.

".....why would he...me? Of all people.." she questions while staring at the phone number written under his name.

"It's a joke...has to be..."

But Vessel wouldn't joke about this. He wouldn't joke about the risk of exposing his identity. Though a leak did take place, it didn't blow completely out of proportion. However, the Sleep Token members did have to go radio silent until the mess died down.

.....so why would Vessel risk it happening again?

Being skeptical, y/n grabs her phone - putting the number in before shooting a text. "This isn't a real number. As if he'd - "

Her breath is caught in her throat at the immediate reply.

"How long were you going to keep me waiting?"

"....there's no way I'm texting THE Vessel from Sleep token."

[Image attached] "Believe me now?"

"AAAAHHHHHOUVVY8C8RX7RXT- NO WAY!"

Vessel sent an image of himself in their tour van still dressed in his costume, about to prepare for bed. Y/N's head is reeling. This can't be real. It has to be a dream - a sick twisted dream. She gulps, grabbing her phone and gathering courage to read his replies.

"💀"

"I didn't scare you off, did I?"

"Come back, love. I promise I don't bite."

"This is a dream. This whole day is a DREAM! THIS CONVERSATION ISN'T REAL!"

"Its not-"

"IT IS!"

"Love, breathe. This is real. I'm real."

"Ok...ok, I'm breathing, but..why? Why text me? Why even give me, a fan, your number? For all you know, I could leak this and cause from really bad damage."

"Are you?"

"Of course not! I'm just making a part here!"

"I see...well, it's alright. This is a burner phone anyways😊"

"I-"

"🤓 I'm smart enough to know how to cover my tracks."

"Oh? So this isn't the first time you've done this?"

"No love, you're the only one.😇"

"Don't believe you.😕"

"Would looking through my phone help defend my case?"

"Hm...maybe-"

"🚩🚩"

"Haha, very funny. Fucking hilarious🙄"

"🤣 jk jk. But it's late, you should rest."

"Not really sleepy🤷🏾"

"Really? You seemed pretty exhausted to me. Want to discuss what's keeping you up?"

Should she tell him? That's considered trauma dumping- right? Besides, they hardly know each other. She wouldn't want to waste a once in a lifetime moment by chasing him away. So with a heavy sigh, she replies -

"No, no, I'm ok! I'm sure you're far more drained! You were a ball of energy on stage today. You and the others deserve much needed rest! I'll leave you be now, bye!"

And with that, she turns her phone off, to anxiety driven to dare leave him on open. She wouldn't get much sleep that night, still in disbelief of what took place. Nothing about her is that special, so it's hard to believe when he said she's the only one. Maybe looking through his phone will give her a moment of clarity.

Vessel, on the other hand, has the biggest smile on his face. "Damn, she ran away."

iii looks over, taking off his mask. "Who?"

"...bloody hell I didn't ask for her name." Vessel huffs, tossing his burner phone aside as he prepares for a quick, much needed shower.

iv raises a brow, "That girl from earlier? You gave her your number?"

Vessel smiles, looking at his bandmates. "Maaaaaaybe?" Before they can question him further, he dashes away to the bathroom.

Though, after his shower, he's faced heavy interrogation. ii & iii let up only a bit after being told it's a burner phone number. , however, r is still suspicious. Why is his friend being so friendly with a random fan? What about her makes her importance?

It's the next morning, You didn't get any rest. How can you? You're still questioning if last night was a dream, so you grab your phone - turning it on. Her heart thumps as her cheeks grow red.

"Wait, you don't have to share if you don't want to."

"I apologize for intruding."

"Rest well."

"Good morning, love."

"What's with the nickname?"

"Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

"My bad, good morning. What's up with the nickname?😐"

"If I say it's a British thing, would you buy it?"

"No.😐😑😐😑"

"🤣 I don't know your name."

You sigh heavily, pitching the bridge of your nose. Why are you being so rude? Maybe because of the little sleep you got, thanks to a certain someone.

"Oh... right, it's Y/N"

Vessel smiles at her message, finding her feisty & sarcastic messages to be amusing. He hopes he gets to experience this side of her in person. He wants to witness all sides of what makes her - her.

"Pretty name, love. I gtg- just made it to our next stop. I'm looking forward to seeing you gather with us in worship🙏🏻"

You don't reply, needing to get ready to see them again, front row. She's eager to see them perform again. However, her mood is quickly soured by a message from him.

"Another dry text...if he doesn't want to talk.. he should say that.."

She gulps, debating on replying or not. How does one reply to an 'ok' text? So with a heavy heart, she leaves him on open - something she's never done in all the time she's known him. Whenever their conversations run randomly dry, she would send memes or funny videos in hopes it'll start a conversation- but it never does.

A few days before the concert, he tried sexting her, but she wasn't in the mood. It happens sometimes, and normally, he'll bounce back and understand. But this time feels different, like he placed a wall up all because she wasn't in the mode. Maybe leaving him on read will make him see how hurt she is.

Once ready, she drives two hours to the next town - booking her hotel. She gets there hours before the show starts, watching the team continue their set ups. There's only a handful of people there, most still at work since it is a weekday. She doesn't notice that Vessel is watching her from backstage.

Immediately, he knows something is off. The sparkling light in her eyes dimmed. He raises a brow at you, continuing to check your phone only for your eyes to dim even more. She's sad, and he's eager to know what or who is causing it. He just wants to see her smile again.

His bandmates notice his stare, their eyes locking onto you. "Mate, you look like a lost puppy dog," iii snickers.

"She looks sad..." Ves said, pouting.

"Obviously," ii points out.

iv sighs, turning up his guitar. "Then let's do what we do best." He nods.

And they did, performing for the crowd while Vessel performed for her. He can't help the smile that grows from seeing your own. It truly brings a joy that he can't comprehend.

The show went on without a hitch, the crowd cheering with gratitude as Vessel bows. He moves in front of you, bending to one knee with his hands clasp together in thanks. He stays in that position for a few seconds before raising his head, catching sight of your breath taking - dazzling smile.

The view almost makes him break character. He stands, giving the crowd one last bow before leaving the stage - sparing you one last glance before disappearing behind the curtains. A sigh of triumph leaves his lips as he sits down, his crew gathering around and packing things up.

"Her smile is pretty bright." iv admits.

"Did you hear the way she screamed at me? That girl knows how to play the bit." iii grins.

- The classic "ARE YOU IN PAIN LIKE I AM?! -

- iii "I don't think so" -

Vessel opens his mouth to reply, but he hears a 'ding' come from his burner phone that's laid on a table behind him. He picks it up, face lighting up under his mask at the sight of your name on his screen.

"Be careful now, Bowing and smiling at me like that. Wouldn't want word spreading of you having favorites🤭"

"A message from your sunshine already?" iii grins, looking over his shoulder.

Vessel reaches back, placing his hand on his face to push him back playful. "For my eyes only, mate." He chuckles, shooting a reply.

"I have to display my gratitude for your loyalty towards us."

Vessel almost slipped up and said 'towards me,' but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

She smiles, now in her hotel room. She takes a quick shower and settles for bed before replying to him.

"Well, regardless, you guys have made my days a lot more brighter. I wish I had discovered you guys sooner. 🥺"

Vessel didn't reply right away. He took a shower and made his way to the let out bed within their tour van. When comfortable, he opens your message, smiling. But he remembers that distance look in your eyes, a look of hurt shadowed by her forced smile. Something happened. He's eager to know what or who caused you pain, but again, he doesn't want to overstep.

"Thank you, love, but I have to ask. Is everything alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seemed...off. I don't know you well, but I know pain when I see it. If you want to share....I wouldn't be opposed to listening."

You feel a bit...blindsided. You're known for being able to mask your pain very well. Its apart of your 'tough girl' act after all. You two don't know each other personally, but for him to see right through you is astonishing. Only one person has been able to do that....and he hasn't sent a text just to check in. Vessel gave her the opportunity to open up, but her instinct is to reject it automatically.

"Nothing is wrong, but thank you for asking! I'm just a bit jet lagged from driving most of the day. Well, it's getting late, and you have a show to do so rest up! Goodnight🤗"

She places her phone down with a heavy heart, curling up in her bed as she sighs. It's ironic how the one that checked in on her isn't the guy she was hoping to do that.

Vessel, too, places his phone down - heart oddly tight. He isn't sure why he has such a longing attraction towards you, but he's eager to know more about you - and to witness more of your blinding smile.

•

•

•

•

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A week turns into a month and a month into a year. Vessel & you have gotten closer. You also have gotten to know the other bandmates quite well. iii is a ball of energy that's always ready to start some shenanigans. ii and iv are more mellow but hold great conversation.

Then there's Vessel. You don't want to admit it, but you found yourself beginning to develop feelings for him. His laugh, silly jokes, and his smile brightens your day. The way he comforts you and is able to tell when you aren't in the best of moods sets your heart ablaze.

Unfortunately, you live in the United States and him in the United Kingdom. Most interactions are done over the phone or video chat. It isn't until you obtain a visa to live in the United Kingdom for a whole year that you've gained more time to spend with them.

But once again, your attention is focused elsewhere. It didn't take Vessel and the others to realize that your attention seems to be stuck on a man you can't seem to let go of. They've tried to get you to open up about him, but you'll brush them off - saying over and over that it's no big deal.

It was only a matter of time before Vessel lost his patience with you. He would've waited, for as long as it took, but the end of your visa is nearing - and the thought of you running into the arms of another man pushed him over the edge. He's longed acknowledged his feelings towards you. He would show his affection discreetly and make jokes on what it'll be like if you two were together. He just wishes you'd give him a chance.

Though you two are on a silent treatment, that didn't stop him from allowing you to attend band practice for their upcoming UK tour. But just like every other band practice, your face is in your phone - tears would sometimes build in your eyes until you look up and force a smile to push the tears back down. The lump in your throat would continue to fill until you rush home and cry yourself to sleep.

And here you are, repeating the cycle. This guy has yet to check in to see if you're well after you left him on open for the second time. Once again, his dry replies leave your heart aching. Two nights before, he was trying to engage in sexting with you once more, and you turned him down. You weren't in the mood. All you wanted was conversation, but he wouldn't give you that.

For the first time in the many years you've known him, you feel used - tossed away when you didn't give him what he wanted. It hurts. The pain makes your heart burn and fill with agonizing loneliness that's too much for you to bare. A lone tear slips from your eyes, bringing an abrupt halt to Sleep Token's band practice.

"Who do I need to go fuck up aye?" iii huffs angrily, stretching his long limbs.

"Huh?" You question, not realizing a tear fell from your eye.

"You're crying..." ii points out with iv joining your side.

You force a tight smile, waving them off as you set your phone down. "I'm fine, you guys! I-I just uh...saw a sad video on snapchat, that's all! Keep playing. You guys are doing amazing!" You cheer, not fooling anyone.

The band shares a look of worry, Ves finally speaking up. "Let's take a break. Why don't you guys go grab pizza? I'll set up Elden Ring."

The three picked up what Vessel is putting down. He wants to be alone with you. iii grins, nodding his head as his long legs take him out of the room. ii & iv follow behind.

"Oh wait I'll go with-"

"Nah, we're good! Can't leave Ves alone for too long, or he'll 'accidentally' break or get stuck in something." iii snickers, further pushing the theory of Vessel being a cat at heart.

"Fuck off!" He laughs, shooing them away.

The moment they're gone, the tension rises instantly - becoming too suffocating. Vessel looks as calm as he can be while setting up the game, while you look stressed & bothered. You take in a deep breath, glancing down at your phone to still see no messages from the man you're still trying to hold onto.

She releases a shakey sigh, the lump in her throat building. This isn't fair. She invested so much of her time, so much of her heart into this person. Why is he suddenly treating you this this? It hurts. It hurts it -

"It hurts." You say aloud, drawing Vessel's attention.

"What hurts love?" He asked, moving to sit cross leg on the ground in front of the tv - his back turned to her.

"My heart...it hurts. I put so much time into him. Time I can't get back! It isn't fair! I don't give him what he wants, and he just tosses me to the side?! He had never been like this before! I-I just..." her throat closes in, her eyes beginning to build with tears.

Ves keeps his eyes trained on the screen, trying to defeat a boss. "Keep going, I'm listening." He said calmly, wanting you to get it all out. He wants you to finally open yourself up to him. He's been aching to cross this line with you.

She bites her lip, shaking her head as she sniffles. The thought of having to start over, be vulnerable again to someone else, is far too scary. She can't. She won't. She swallows the lump with force, blinking her tears away. You can't handle being rejected anymore.

So you smile, a smile Vessel has grown to hate. A smile used to mask your pain while your eyes screamed for mercy. He's not your hero, nor is he a savior - but he's willing to do what he can to fill your world back up with the joy you deserve.

"No..N-No it's nothing. I'm fine."

Hearing that, he pauses the game, standing to his feet. He turns to you, walking towards you. You raise a brow, reminded of the height difference between you two as he gets closer. You take a few steps backward, feeling the atmosphere shift to something... you're unfamiliar with but not apposed to.

"Whoa- what are you -"

He places his hands on your shoulders, carefully pushing you against the wall. You're not given a chance to process what's happening. His lips now press against your own. Your eyes widen, body frozen in shock - but you don't push him away. Vessel moves closer, one hand moving to your waist and the other to her cheek - making you tilt your head to kiss him back.

This...isn't anything you've experienced before. His hands are rough, yet his touch is so light, feathery. He pulls you even closer, body pressing against your own. He deepens the kiss, hoping to convey his feelings through this - praying they finally reach you.

You feel yourself melt against him, closing your eyes as you kiss him back - the shock fading. You fall deep into his tenderness, his touch so serene. Most men are forceful when it comes to their advances towards you. You thought that's how it's supposed to be. You weren't shown the rights and wrongs of dating. Therefore, you experienced so much hurt - feeling pressured to please your partners until you can't take it anymore.

Never once have you had a man touch you as if you were the finest glass - a man holding you so gently as if you were a porcelain doll. This....is all so new. A lone tear slips your eye, your heart exploding with so many buried wounds and fragments kept deep inside - too scared to face, but Vessel brought them out with a simple kiss.

He pulls away, chuckling at her daze expression. He moves his thumb over her eyelashes, drying her tear away. She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze. A part of her feels light, calm - but the other is hurting, trying to twist this intimate moment into something it's not.

"Why?" Y/N question as he pulls further away. "Why did you do that?"

"I've been pining for you since the moment I saw your beautiful smile. That smile sparked something in me. The joy in your eyes made me smile. I wanted to know more about you, see more of you, and get to know you." He sighs, shaking his head. "But you continued to turn me away, your foucs stuck on someone who doesn't deserve your fragile - clement heart."

Vessel steps back, moving to sit back down on the ground - resuming his game. He figures you'd need a moment to process his words, and you did. However, that other part of you is polluting your thoughts - telling you he's feeding you lies. No man can show such genuine emotion without hinting at a ulterior motive.

"Stop...stop lying to me, Ves. Don't feed me false hope!"

"What reason would I have to lie?" He questions, not turning away from the screen. "I risked so much just to have you this close to me. iv could've been right. I could've ruined this band by being so open and willing to let you into our world, my world. You could've exposed so much of us, but you dudnt. And that...that made me fall more for you, love." He pauses the game, turning around to look at her but doesn't leave his spot on the ground. "All I want in return...is for you to trust me. Trust me with your heart Y/N. Open yourself to m-"

"I can't!" Y/N shout, the tears breaking way - your sobs racking through your body. "I just can't! I can't start over! It hurts too much! I've been hurt... so many times, Vessel. If I open up and get left again.. I-I don't think I'll be able to handle another heartbreak. Please just let me g-"

"I gave you a taste of what you deserve. Are you willing to give up so easily? I, too, have been hurt. I take what I've learned from that pain, heal, and continue with my life. Yes, it gets hard. Yes, some days are worse than others , but I push through. I push through in order to gain what I know I deserve. My love, you can do the same. Until you're able to, just lean on me."

His words only make her sob harder. He opens his arms, a smile on his lips. Her body moves on its own, moving onto his lap and allowing him to hold you as you cry onto him - opening up about everything.

"We're only human, love. We're flawed creatures. We aren't meant to be strong all the time. You should've never been placed in those positions you were forced into. You deserve to be pampered, loved, and cared for. You aren't an object for men's pleasure. You're a woman who desires love. Nothing is wrong with that."

You nod, leaning your head up to look at him. "I'm sorry..." Y/N whisper.

"What for?"

"That stupid argument, undermining your feelings, and just overall being so mean to you at times. You dont deserve that...gosh, I'm such a mess." You laugh, smiling sadly.

He smiles, bringing his hands up to dry her tears. "It's alright, I apologize for snapping at you. I just... couldn't take the thought of you leaving and returning to that...fucking jerk."

You giggle, his pout making your smile brighten. "You were jealous?"

"Yes! Your face would sometimes be in that phone, wanting for that idiot to reply to you with something meaningful! Bloody hell, I almost snatched your phone so many times." He grumbles.

You lean forward, pecking his lips. "I'm sorry. I'll block him...for real this time. It's time to let go...."

Vessel stares down at her, her smile making his heart skip and eyes fill with so much adoration towards her. "Be mine."

Your heart skips, but your happiness dies down as quickly as it comes. "I want to...I want to give you a chance, but I have to leave to the US. You have another tour coming up. I don't think -"

"No. I'll make it work. We'll make it work. I've waited so long for you, and I won't let you slip through my fingers. Not anymore."

He captures your lips again. This kiss filled with passion yet holds so much gentleness. Both melt into the other, their feelings finally reaching the one another. Vessel's patience and understanding have truly paid off. You will work on yourself. You will work to become the best version of yourself, not only for yourself - but for Vessel too. The both of you deserve happiness and a life full of love.

"Ahem." iii clears his throat, a cheeky grin on his face. "Ooolala! Did we interrupt a precious moment? ii you got that on video, right?"

"Yup." He said, still holding up his phone.

iv holds his hands up, displaying he has no part in their antics. Vessel huffs, gently moving you off his lap. He pecks your forehead before charging at iii, chasing him around the room - eventually wrestling him. ii would join in, feeling iii out numbered, but Ves doesn't back down.

You laugh at their shenanigans, iv moving next to you to watch as well. "I should apologize."

"For?" You question him with a smile.

"For misjudging you. He's been happier ever since encountering you. You have my thanks." He nods.

Your smile widens, heart swelling with no much joy you can barely take it. She can't remember the last time she's felt this light. "No, no, I understand. Some fans are just badshit crazy. You're just looking out for your friend."

Ves gives up, walking back over to you and lays his head on your shoulder. "Fuckers." He grumbles, hearing them laugh and tease the two of you.

You giggle, kissing his cheek. "I'm sure a bit of food will fix you right up."

He beams, making a dash into the kitchen. He knows if iii gets his hand on the food first - he'll swallow everything whole. Soon, everyone is sitting at the table, talking about the upcoming tour and your departure from them until your visa is renewed.

Though you'll miss them terribly, you'll be leaving on such a high. Having made friends with her favorite band and opening yourself to Vessel has been the highlight of your life.

Every day will now appear far more brighter, thanks to that illuminating smile of yours that started it all.

《 I just want to put a disclaimer. Though I love Sleep token, I'm not some crazed fan that ships myself nor write fanfics or sumt of the members on a daily Occurrence. (No shame to the ones that do. That's just not my cup of tea) I was going through a rough patch of loneliness and decided to watch live shows of them on YouTube to help ease that pain. I ended up falling asleep by doing so - hence the dream I had. Only the second part is my dream. The first half is just a story building.

《 Thank you all that read this, and I hope it helps any lonly girlies out there that are turn to Sleep Token for comfort.

《 Likes and repost are very much appreciated. Much love to you all! 🫶🏾❤️🖤🩶🤍

[chemicallady]

I WANNA FEEL LOVE AGAIN

Part 1

Couple: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

Content Warning: none. It's gonna be a slow burn, baby! Just a couple of bad words and some references to sexual intercorse. Should I add Matt to the warming just because it's part of this?

Taglist: @ada-clarence, @badalmondzzzz, my wifey @starsomens

Summary: Reader is Matt's sister and PR for Bad Omens. After a long relationship that ended quite bad, with her brother help, she decides to give herself a fresh new start in Los Angeles.

A/N: from now on, I'll post my notes at the end of the chapter to avoid spoilers!

As always this is just a product of fiction, nothing in this ff is real, my intention is to entertain myself and all of you.

Enjoy 🐕

I don't know if I count, but I'm trying my best.

This is not a story with a happy ending.

This is not one of those scenarios in which the grumpy old brother, after a significant amount of time, realises that his sister and his bestfriend are in love and the two of you can live happily ever after.

This is the real life, not an urban fairytale.

And there's a lot to unpack, emotionally.

First of all, you and Noah are not in love. You weren't aware of who he was before an hour ago. In your head you can ear in loop Eric, Eric, Eric, and it's fucking annoying that you actually had had the feeling you know him but you didn't recognised his throat tattoo after licking it. Or his nose. He has the most perfect nose you've ever seen, but nothing. It's not even an excuse that you haven't seen each other for three years because Matt shares videos from their gig on weekly basis, when on tour.

It's the fucking Clark Kent paradox, but instead of a pair of glasses, he got those long, perfect silk hair cut.

Losing the 25% of his charm, in your modest opinion.

But it doesn't matter.

Because when you met Eric, your first impression was that he seemed to be genuine, but shy maybe, in a good way a bit weird.

But genuine.

He is not genuine for the fuck sake! He lied on who he is and now you both have a problem.

Matt hasn't noticed yet, but only because he's too invested in the production of the music video to connect the dots. The way Noah stood in front of you, paralyzed, without talking, was loud enough for someone to notice.

You're sure about that.

After that stupid exchange of words you ran back inside the house telling everyone that it's too hot and you are not use yet to California's sunny day.

Dumbest excuse ever since is almost november, and Texas is warmer than here. But it worked so you can sit on the kitchen counter, and reflect about how much fucked up you are.

This is not even a story in which the main character is overreacting. You're Not. Matt has always hated every boy who laid and eye on you. From the very first boyfriend in mid school to a couple of classmates in highschool that just asked for your help with homeworks. Then, Shawn. He has never tollerated Shawn even if the rest of your family accepted him as a son. Matt never made up a scene in front of him or mistreated him in any way. But behind his back, he talked a lot shit, made you furious every time. He said that Shawn wasn't genuine enough (this adjective is starting to sound funny, at this point), caring enough, that he was drinking too much at your parents dinner table, that he looked too possessive.

In your modest opinion, your brother is terrible in judging others. For real. The issue on the table is always the same one; he is afraid you can get hurt. Matt can't physically stand the sight of you crying or being miserable.

Now, after this long mental digression, it's fair to say that he doesn't have to know. Absolutely. And you need Noah to be on the same page about that. You have to cut any contact with him that is not related to work. The date you have for friday is deleted.

It's sad because you really enjoyed having Eric around.

But he's not fucking Eric.

You don't have the chance to speak face to face with noah until after lunch. When the nerds move on Orie's room to give a first look at the unprocessed scenes and Jolly joined Folio in the pool, Noah is the one who actually comes looking for you.

You are on the sofa, petting Harper. He indulges just one second on the sight of you cuddling the adorable princess of the hous, before take a seat next to you. 《 Harp likes you.》

《 Well, she is not the only one. Isn't she?》

Noah release a long, loud sigh, while is cheeks get pink-ish. 《 You really are outspoken, are you?》. He gives a look at you, straight into your eyes. You are ready. You can feel how reticent he is right now, almost scared to say the wrong thing. 《 You are not gonna tell your brother about...》

《 About you eating me out in you car?》 It's your question, whispered between the two of you like the biggest secret in the world. 《 initially he won't believe us, but further investigations will follow; Maybe he will take the fingerprints from the back window. My hands were there while you were fucking me from behind. And he loves CSI.》

《 I'm serious. Are you going to tell him?》

And he is serious. You were joking, maybe because you feel a little embarrassed, maybe because your dad is right when he says that making fun about serious situations sometimes helps in facing them. But Noah on the other hand doesn't look amused. He looks like thinks you're mocking him.

So you hinale deeply, before looking back at him, leaving all your bullshit behind. And that's the moment in which you start to feel how tense the situation is. 《 I would rather chop my own foot than telling him I fuck with his best friend. He's gonna be furious. To me, but also to you. Do you have any deathwishies? Because I just got a fresh new start and I intend to survive the beginning of the week.》

Noah nods with a slow motion. He seems to have already evaluated any bad scenarios and keep it quiet is for the best of all of you. Especially Matt, who doesn't deserve to end up in jail. 《 So it's a secret between you and me now, Vanessa.》

《Don't you even try to use this card against me, Eric. 》

Noah brings his hands to his eyes. He looks even more concerned than you are. Matt once told you that Noah never had a real family, growing up. He was always on his own, so he formed a family with the friends he chose. Probably he is scared to disappoint Matt as much as you are.

《 Why you lie? Why you told me your name was Eric?》

With another sigh, Noah looked back at you. 《 I don't know. Sometime I ... fuck, you're going to have a bad first impression of me.》

《 Don't worry. I already had a bad first impression of you. 》

When he see you smile softly, he chuckles. It's pure tension right now and not the good one. He is living the horror of being caught with his hands in your honey jar. 《 ...When I meet a girl that sounds like troubles, I never bring her home and I give her a fake name.》

《 Did I sound like a troubles, to you?》

《 Yes because I knew I've already seen you.... but I couldn't recall were or when. And when you told me you had just moved in with your brother for a second I thought 'oh shit its y/n, her tits got bigger'. But then you lie as well and I believe I was in the safe.》

《 You didn't remember anything else but my breast size?》

It makes sense.

In some ways.

Half of fault is on both of you.

《 Sorry I lied》 , he says while rising from the sofa, ready to join his friends and check how the video is going 《 and sorry for... you know. 》

《 ah, don't say anything, we both enjoyed that part》 .

《 yeah, it was...》 Noah stays a couple of second in silence before biting both is lips. 《 We have to stop anyway. I cant loose Matt and he gave us a lecture about NOT fucking around with you, before you arrived.》

Now it's your time to sigh loudly. Yeah, you have seen that coming. But it's fine since you and Noah didn't planned it. You call it a casuality more than an incident.

You haven't big aspectation on Eric, anyway.

You feel like you've lost the capability of love long, after Shawn.

《 I agree. It's not gonna happen again》.

He smiles at you in relieve and you feel the same. 《 Can wait to work with you, than 》

《Otherwise》

He waves his hand before turning around and leave you in the living room. Harper is licking your hand so you start to pet her again, feeling better.

Matt will never know about your rendezvous.

You're washing the dishes after dinner, while Matt is picking up a movie. Even if you convinced yourself that you and Noah took the most resonable way, and also your conversation was short but clearifyng, you cant help yourself but feeling a bit down because you're not going to meet Eric anymore. And you know that Eric doesn't even exist. You will see Noah on a daily basis, and this will help a lot in moving on, but it's gonna be tough for the first week or two.

Because you and Noah are not in love, but you can feel the first syntomps of a beginning crush. Which is legit because Noah is funny and goofy and good-looking. More than that, he was nice to you and didn't force you in silence or nothing. You two have a conversation and reach an easy solution that makes everyone safe. Safe from Matt. After clearing the air, he also asked you for some advices because he never had a PR. It's his job usually and the two of you should work on that together. The prospective makes you nervous since you have no clue about the job itself, and Matt noticed. You know he did.

And you also know that he was waiting the vulnerable silence of your shared flat to talk about this with you.

《 What's wrong with Noah?》

You don't look back at him, rinsing the dishes from the soap. 《 What about Noah?》

《 He froze when he saw you this morning. And then you didn't look so happy about working with him》.

Matt and his way to be fucking direct.

You scroll your shoulders, epically good in lying. 《 I can't tell about him freezing in front of me. But I'm not looking forward to be his assistant and bring him his favorite brand of coffe.... or fold his underwares.》

《 That's not your job. He can make his own caffè and he won't let you fold any of his clothes. Trust me, that man on the edge of an OC diagnosis 》. You mumble something about being good in folding clothes while Matt approaches you, crossing his arm on his chest. 《 C'mon. Do I have to pull the big deal out of you kicking your ass?》

You're trapped because you two are too similar. You can read your brother like a book written for kids. Really dumb kids. And it's the same for him. You can't fool him too long.

《 Alright. I met a guy at the gym. He's name is Eric and he looked nice, but now I'm convinced that he's fake like a three dollar coin. Happy?》

You wait for the ocean of question that Matt is going to storm on you, but.... Nothing. He simply exhales before helping you, drying the dishes and the glasses with a cloat. You feel like you just turned twelve again and he was always around helping with the cores your mom gave you.

《 It's good that you're moving on fast. When I brought you here, I was afraid to see you again in the sane state you were in Texas. Close in your own room, drowing your bad feelings under the blankets. It's a good thing that you go to the gym and meet new people but be careful. People in LA are different from what you're used to. 》

You don't know what to say. You were aspecting Matt to start a lecture about rushing your new life and instead you got a boost. That's a progress.

《 Thanks for the advice》.

《 Just text me every time you're with him. And send me the position in real time so I can check.》

There he is! 《 You almost got me scared. I was wandering where my medieval-mind brother was. 》

《 Shut up!》

A soft laught leaves your mounth while he pours so water from the sink on you. And you oblige, doing it back on him. 《 I won't see Eric again, anyway.》

《 Who's Eric?》

《 Gym guy. He left.》

Matt finished drying the last fork before push you a little, playfully. 《 What did you say to make him run?》

《 Nothing! You asshole!》

The two of you reach the sofa, but apparently he is not done with the conversation. 《 Can you promise just two things?》

《 Alright, shoot》

《 In case this guy will be back and you won't be interested, just call Noah. He is enrolled to the same gym》.

You have to do your best to not laugh or betray yourself in any way. 《 Promise. What else?》

《 You are more than allowed to look for some happiness. You deserve to be loved by someone who is not an idiot as Shawn. Someone who sees the real you.》 You smile with some commotion to these beautiful words, reaching for his hand on the cushion in between you two. 《 But please never date anyone from the crew. No one wants drama while we're hitting the road.》

The smile froze on your lips without giving your brain the chance to process why you suddenly feel so .... disappointed.

《 y/n, pinkie promise?》

A bit reluctant, you grab his pinkie with yours, like you have done billions of time.

《 I promise》.

And you really hope you will be able to keep it.

It takes six days to meet again Noah at the gym. Matt helped you find a class about management and public relations, and day after day, you're learning how you can be useful for the band. Working on websites, taking care of the agenda, and defining schedules sounds scary, but you feel more confident day after day.

Noah is sitting outside his jujitsu class, his mitts next to him, and some bandage in his hand. The other one is busy scrolling the screen of his iPhone. You're reticent in bump into him, but just for a second. You know that if you start to avoid him, it will be a bad habit to lose. So you approach greeting him.

He looks surprised, but just for a couple of seconds, while he's buring the cellphone in his shorts' pocket. 《 How is yoga going?》

《 Fine, nothing noticeable》 , you take a seat next to him, smiling. 《 How jujitsu is going?》

《 Today, not so good》 he answers, showing you his brushed knuckles. Some blood on the right hand is almost dry. 《 I have to change my mitts. These are fucked.》

That's an amazing start of conversation for two people who had sex and then started to pretend that never happened in less than 24 hours.

《 Let me help you with that.》 With a nod, you indicate the bandages. He slowly gives the box to you, and after cleaning your hands with the sanitizer you have in your gym bag, you start to wrap the bandages around his hand gently.

《 How's school going? Matt said that you're taking it so seriously》. There is something in his voice that is illegible. Is he mocking you? Or maybe he is amused? You're focused on his hands to pay attention to his sminking face.

《 Well, I'm supposed to, right?》

《 Why? Why do you want to work with us? I mean... you can find a job as a piercer. I saw you in action and you're really good at it. 》

After fixing his left hand, you proceed to the other one, avoiding his gaze. 《 Do you want me to be honest?》

《 You can be honest, or you can be Vanessa 》.

A sigh escapes from your lips, uncontrolled. The audacity of this bitch. 《 Because I want the money. Because I want to spend a lot of time with my brother. Because I want to choose my job and leave the one my prick ex chose for me behind. Because I have nothing left to lose. I want to love my life again, waking up in the morning with a purpose.》

You have no idea why you're opening up to someone you barely know. But it is what it is. You can't have a fresh new start if you are not honest with yourself.

And when you look at Noah, you find respect in his gaze. 《 You just move in LA, and i'm not gonna lie to you: it's hard work. Are you sure you can take this?》

《 I'm used to fight any battle at my lowest》 it's your answer. The most honest one you can guarantee to him. 《 I'm ready to drag myself if it's necessary and only if it's forward. I need a hurricane to shake up my entire existence》.

《 Well well, you might have found the right one. Our new record could be a total disaster or grant us more than I can even imagine. You pick up the right train or, at least, you will enjoy every second of my downfall》

《 You're so drammatic, like every singer. 》

Noah giggles at your last affirmation before checking his hands. 《 thanks. You're already an amazing assistant. 》

《 I'm not your fucking secretary. 》

《 So who are you, y/n?》

A broken doll.

A girl that just wants to be love.

A woman covered in scars, who has a heart hidden in meters and meters of barber wire to prevent everyone from hurting it again.

《 A friend, Noah.》

And you can tell by his smile that it's the right answer he was waiting for. And this beautiful and sincere smile could be enough to put aside any crush you can develop in order to gain a true friend.

《 Lets grab a beer, then.》

A/N : I know that probably a lot of you are here for the smut, but I rethink this ff with a lot of realistic scenarios and the idea of writing a friends to lovers. It's my first attempt on this topic, and I'm thrilling to recieve any thought about it from you! I left an important hint for the future in the text by the way.

You can also send me inbox about my ff, about Bad Omens in general or headcanons! It's gonna be fun if you give me some credit ♡

I also added a song in the beginning that should be a sort of soundtrack for the chapter. I added it to the first chapter as well if you want to check!

Lastly, if you wish to be added to my tag list, comment here or send me a pm!

[winterwandersland]

Paperwork

tw/cw: arguing, mentions of past torture and SA word count: 5.4k Kamara figures out the real reason Simon and the team needs her.

Chapter Two

The car ride was silent. No one dared to touch the radio, and no one wanted to be the first to speak during the seven hour long car ride, one that was usually filled with joy while all passengers sang along to the radio music. “How long will you be gone, Mara?”

Simon kept his hands on the wheel, avoiding looking into the back view mirror and only making slight eye contact with Kamara, who was glaring at the man driving. “A few days, one week, max. But I’ll come back every night, just like I told you. I’m not leaving you.” She kept her stare at Simon while she spoke to her daughter, secretly addressing the boundaries of the operation without addressing him.

The adults greeted each other, giving each other hugs and helping to get Ellie settled. Simon knew Tommy from different missions they had been on, the two growing to be like brothers. Upon being introduced to Joel, Simon experienced a sense of having a family again. He looked to Tommy like an older brother, Tommy being over a decade older than he, and Joel like a father figure, although Tommy and Joel were only some years apart.

The brothers already knew who Kamara was before they met her, both from Simon’s terrible convincing that he only spoke so much of her because she was the team’s pain in the ass, and also because there was always a debrief held when she joined a team, the rumors of her many disciplinary actions spreading from unit to unit. No one could comprehend how someone could have so many Article 15s on their file and still be able to serve, but with the many debriefs of possible behavioral issues, every meeting also ended with praises of her exceptional ability. Despite being bounced around multiple units, one Captain fought to keep her, primarily because a certain sergeant refused to be the last needed vote for her transfer.

With that sergeant’s stubbornness, the Captain could see what he saw, another soldier fighting for what she believed, no matter what the rules were. She often went against orders, putting herself in harm’s way to protect her team, spontaneously running a plan that would be against many codes, but she got the job done, despite the write-up she knew came after. The Captain realized that the arrogant men–himself included–were too prideful to admit that a woman was the one saving their lives and completing their tasks. They labeled her self-confidence and cockiness as 'insubordinate' and insolent when she was just a headstrong woman who marched to the beat of her own drum–a threat to man.

When Ellie settled in, they all said their goodbyes, Kamara making sure that she explained the situation again. Her daughter already knew, and instead of being surprised, Kamara smiled at her, praising Ellie for how smart she was and gave her a goodbye kiss.

***

The couple walked together, making their way towards the building where the rest of the 141 waited, passing by many soldiers who were running drills, the sun still beaming upon them and the dirt beneath their shoes chronically dry, crumbling with each step. Kamara looked on edge, constantly looking in every direction, like she was taking notes of her surroundings.

“Who’s that?” Gaz asked, staring out the window. Simon had made a call giving the team a head’s up that he would be on his way, but he didn’t mention that he would be bringing company.

“‘Mare’. The Lieutenant’s Missus .” Price already knew the woman, having met her a few times, but he mostly knew her through stories that Simon would tell that obviously excluded a second party, or else almost nothing he said would be possible. Some other teammates, though, didn’t catch on to that.

“Missus? So he’s married, then?Soap was clueless, unable to fathom that someone would actually settle down with a guy who had once been referred to as the "asshole with the mask." Price nodded his head, a small grin on his face, amused at the obliviousness of the sergeant.

“Why d’you call her ‘Mare’?” Gaz was surprised, but not as nearly as shocked as Soap. He knew those stories were missing a few details, he just couldn’t figure out what they might be. Now he knew.

“‘Cause she’s a right paperwork nightmare.” It wasn’t the many Article 15s that made her paperwork a living hell, but the paperwork to reinstate her because of her many Article 15s that made processing her into the squad almost unbearable.

“Is she joinin’ the force?” The team hadn’t done well with anyone joining the team, only a few successes and multiple betrayals, however, their General seemed to assure them matters were being handled. “No, she’s just helping out. If she joins, I’ll have to fill out some paperwork.”

“Ye dinnae sound too keen on the lass.” Price actually thought she was great. He had only met her a handful of times, but it only took the first meeting to let him know that she was highly intelligent and quite impressive, despite the rumors he heard from her former superiors. “It’s not that. Just worried about what he told her to get her to come here.”

“What d’you mean?” Kamara had agreed to help the team, for sure, even if it took Simon days of convincing her, pushing past the boundaries his wife firmly created, but she had a set rule: no decryption. “She hasn’t been in a unit for years. She refuses to ever enter the military again.”

“Just means she wants tae help her husband. She cares.”

“We’ll see.”

Simon and Kamara entered the building, immediately turning the corner to see Price, Gaz, and Soap, who each kept their positions until the couple made their way to them. Kamara approached first, each of her steps keeping her in front of Simon despite his larger gait, he purposely making sure she stayed in front of him. “John!” she yelled from down the hall, waving and smiling from ear to ear once she had eyes on the man.

“Kamara! Lovely to see you again!” Price widened his arms to embrace the woman once she approached, and she leaned into his embrace, though it didn’t last long because of the chills that shot through her body. She released him as quickly and discreetly as she could without embarrassing either of them, but she locked eyes with Simon, who was saddened at the sight.

“I’m sure you are familiar with Gaz and Soap,” he said, pointing each one of them out as he spoke. Both of them smiled at the woman, her shaking both of their hands, “Ah. Yes, the Falling Man and the Man Always Knocking At Death’s Door.” The team chuckled in unison, Kamara smiling at the men’s enjoyment. “I like her,” Gaz said, Soap nodding his head in agreement.

“I’m glad y’all feel that way, but I’ll only be here long enough to translate the files and then I’ll be on my merry way. Now, where’s the file room?”

Everyone, but one, was confused, giving each other glances and Price sneaking one at Simon — who was trying to avoid all eye contact—, then looking back at Kamara. “I thought Simon would have told you this, but the files are on a flash drive. I can show you to the computer lab.”

“Huh? Oh no. I only work on those things if they're already decrypted.” Kamara had barely touched a coded computer since she was captured, afraid that any wrong decryption could put her at risk again. Even small coding practices to keep her up to speed seemed like a risk. Price could barely get any words out of his mouth, stuttering over the words he couldn’t form. “Aye, it is! We did most o’ the work ourselves,” Soap said, ridding Price of the burden of having to cover up for their friend who looked guilty even behind the mask.

“What about the rest of the work?” Kamara was smart, able to read through every word that people told her when they seemed to be covering up the full truth, though sometimes that skill seemed useless when she looked past her instincts for the sake of her husband. “Just the translating and deciphering left,” he said, looking at Ghost, Price and Gaz, staying quiet to keep out the growing tension. Kamara took a sly look at Ghost and his comrades, coming to the conclusion that someone was lying — but it’s her husband. There was no way he’d lie to her, so she ignored it for her sanity’s sake. “Alright, then. Lead the way.”

Kamara followed Soap to the lab, Simon staying back and being obviously scolded for his actions, though their voices were too low for Kamara to hear anything. It’s nothing, she thought, hoping that the conversation between the stakes-faced men was because of the stresses of their mission.

The computer lab was by authorized access only, clearly not the lab used for the other soldiers that roamed around on base. The computer that Soap appointed Kamara to was old, but obviously still very functional. He patted Kamara on her shoulder, sending another round of goosebumps up her spine, after he turned the computer on to reveal the not even half finished encryption. Wanting to be clear of the woman before she noticed, Soap tried to leave the room, but he was too slow. “Hey, Soap, if you don’t mind, could you bring Simon in here, please? I would like some company. It helps me work better.”

“Nae bother,” he answered, a forced smile crossing his face, his pace quickening once he had his back turned towards the seemingly calm woman.

Soap kept his eyes on the ground when he left, pacing quickly to his friend, who seemed to know that he was in trouble. “The missus is wanton’ ye for company. Aw the best,” he said as he gave Simon two pats of condolences to his chest. The team could practically hear Simon’s heart drop to the floor and, although it was expected, an angry wife was still scary, no matter how predicted.

He entered the room to see Kamara sitting at the computer, elbow on the table and her legs crossed. The noise from the tapping of her fingers adding to the tension that filled the room, Simon feeling his impending doom. “Simon.”

“Kamara.” Already, he knew he had chosen the wrong thing to say, having a feeling that it would have been better to say nothing at all. Her eyes felt like they were placing shards in him, ripping him apart without saying a word. “Would you like to explain to me why I’m looking at an encrypted file?” Not really.

He was silent, letting his body speak for itself. His guilt filled the air and could practically be smelled from a mile away. He kept his gaze on Kamara, struggling to keep eye contact, and while he hoped to win the staring game, he faltered, his gaze moving to the ground. His wife stood up, using her legs to brace herself to be in front of her husband, crossing her arms as she peered up at him.

“Nothing to say? Alright…” She disguised her anger in her calm tone, yet Simon could still hear the simmer in her voice. “If you knew that I was only willing to work with you if I didn’t have to do any decryption, why the fuck—,”

“M’sorry.” Every word he said seemed wrong and the words he thought seemed even worse. Fumes practically burst out of Kamara’s ears as she began pacing in front of Simon, who stayed in one place, his eyes following her. He took his mask off before he entered the room, so his face told Kamara all she needed to know. He was wrong, and he knew it. She laughed hysterically, almost frightening her husband. “You’re sorry? That’s it? You lied to me. I trusted you!” Her voice gradually got louder, her now directly in front of Simon.

“And you can still trust me. I swear, but we need you, Mar, please,” he pleaded, reaching out to his wife, who ducked away from his touch. “You know I don’t code anymore. I translate and decipher whatever text and language that is given to me. That’s it.” Her voice was lower, possibly her realizing that she had begun to yell at someone she loved, or it was her going over conversations she had with her daughter about only yelling in reasonable situations. This was very reasonable.

“Code is a language…technically.” It was not the time nor place for any humor, but Simon hoped that it could at least ease some of the tension, but he knew those efforts were no good once his wife’s glare nearly killed him.

“Alright, okay. Listen, the truth is… we’ve gone through dozens of programmers and cyber operators. None of them have been able to break through the crypt, and we need to know what’s on it.” He was forcing his voice to not crack. Simon was not an easy man to break, but love opens up emotions that he didn’t know he had, that he had to be reminded of. “If so many other qualified people failed, what the hell makes you think I can do it? I couldn’t do it before and I can’t do it now. In fact, the last time I tried, I got our team killed, or did you forget that?” The tears in her eyes were evident, but she fixed her gaze on the dimmed light above them, ridding her eyes of the puddles that threatened to spill.

Finally, he heard her say it, even though it’s not like he didn’t know. She was still blaming herself. He couldn’t expect her to forgive her actions within the matter of a few days, but he hoped his affirmations would last longer, but it seemed like Kamara’s self-blame got worse by the day. “I could never forget. In fact, I remember all of it, including the fact that it wasn’t your fault.”

“My code got our location leaked, the names of families with it. Our team died because I made an error during a time when perfection was needed. Everyone was relying on me because I was the one who did everything perfectly, and the one time it mattered, I couldn’t do it. I failed. It was my fault.” Her voice cracked more as she spoke, the light no longer able to take away the pain that flooded her face with tears. The day would forever haunt her, not only because her team died, but because she was supposed to take the lead and her leadership led her team to Death’s door, and he answered.

Simon didn’t know what else to do. What more forgiveness can you give to someone who can’t forgive themselves? However, he wouldn’t let his own doubts stop him from trying. He had come so far to heal from the atrocities he had endured in Mexico, just to be setback when he was imprisoned again, though the torture he endured was different. He may not have physical scars to prove his time spent in hell, but he had the constant playback in his head every time he saw Kamara.

“Mar, there’s nothing to prove that.”

“And there’s also nothing to prove that it wasn’t my fault. So I’d rather feel and know what I’ve done than-,” she lost her balance, catching herself on her back foot, her tears now gliding down her face, “than go around telling myself I didn’t do it just to make my life worth living.”

“That’s not fair to yourself.”

“You wanna know what’s not fair? The fact that our team is dead. They had families. Children. People who loved them. It should have been me. I didn’t have anyone waiting for me to come home. I didn’t have kids. No parents, no family—,”

“And neither did I. You sayin’ I should’ve died back then, too?” The question stopped Kamara in her tracks, the first time since the beginning of their argument that she had to think about what she said. It felt like every answer she came up with sat heavier on her heart. To tell the truth would mean she had to admit it to herself and to lie would mean she would do the one thing she told herself she wouldn’t do.

“Yes.” No matter how many times she wiped her tears, even more replaced them.

“You don’t mean that.” He knew she meant it. It was more to convince himself that she didn’t. One thing he knew about his wife was that she didn’t lie, only when needed. Their relationship was supposed to be built on truth, something he broke. “Yes, Simon, I do. Because if you died, no one was waiting for you. They would have killed me, too, so I didn’t matter. There was no one waiting for us back home.” Her words were piercing through him just like her eyes, no matter how glassy they were. He couldn’t be mad at her for telling the truth, but he couldn’t deny the anger that his wife’s words brought him. Kamara could practically see Simon’s blood boiling–this time she lost the staring contest–the silence filling the room, and now she was on the other side of the fence.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” The immediate regret was overpowering her anger, her body no longer tense with frustration, but with the worries of what Simon would say next. Whether she would prefer for him to be giving her the death stare with or without the mask, she couldn't tell, because both options seemed just as terrifying. Simon wasn’t one to hit her or yell at her. Sometimes, his glare was all she needed to know to back down. She waited for her husband to say something, if he said anything. The silence felt like knives cutting through her soul. “Please…Simon…say something..” Anything.

She tugged on his arm, but all he could do was glare at her, and when he felt she had enough, he turned his gaze ahead of him. “Will you be able to do the encryption or not?” His voice was firm, unshaken, closer to the voice he used on the field rather than with his wife. “Simon, don’t do that. Please.” He was shutting down. Shutting her out. If there was anything she hated more than Simon lying to her–which he seldomly did and if he did, it was playfully–it was when he shut her out, his emotions too overwhelming for him to express.

“Then what do you want me to do, Kamara?”

“Talk to me…that’s all…tell me why you lied. Why is this mission so important to you? Why can’t you just…let it go?” Her tone was soft, much softer than when the argument first began.

“‘Cause…”

“Because what? Simon, just tell me! I am begging you!” It was rare that Kamara ever pleaded. She had never even begged for her own life, let alone beg for Simon to tell her something, at least not in this type of circumstance.

“I can’t, love.” His voice returned to the one she knew so well, soft but obviously still filled with some anger. Kamara could feel her body tense up again, her fists clenching and her breaths becoming more shallow. In the past, Kamara had a reputation for throwing objects and knocking over the first thing she saw whenever she was angry, which was another reason she would be written up. Her relationship with Simon had allowed her to be more aware of her actions, containing her urge to become more reckless than her words.

“Why not?” He hadn’t answered. She took a deep breath, her anger nearly overwhelming her. “Simon, you are gone for weeks, mostly months at a time. We have had Ellie for three, nearly four years and you have seen her half of that time–,”

“Mar–,”

“She is our kid and she looks up to you. She wants to save people, too, just like her father, but you have to be there to teach her that family comes first. You are not representing the one thing we have tried to teach her!” Kamara's yells filled the empty halls, even though none of her words could be made out as they echoed.

“M’sorry.” It felt like she was going in circles, unable to get anywhere with the man. Usually, he’d have faltered by now. By this point, she didn’t care about the code or the drive. She wanted her family back, but she was getting tired of fighting.

“Alright, then. But you all don’t need me. Y’all are perfectly capable of finding other resources.” She forced a grin on her face, despite the tears that stained it, her eyes no longer teary but turned doe. “Come on, I don’t have to go back to Joel’s by myself tonight. You can come with me. I’m sure Price would understand.” His arm stayed sturdy as she gently pulled on it in an effort to get the stoic man to do something, anything, other than stand and constantly apologize.

“I can’t do that, love.” Her face immediately dropped, her eyebrows furrowing and her lips turning downward. Simon stumbled backward after Kamara shoved him, her touch on his touch ruminating for a few seconds before leaving. “Why not? Why the hell not? What is it? Are we not enough for you? Is that what it is?” Her voice was louder than it had ever been, Simon certain his team could hear, but he didn’t want to tell her to keep it down or to calm down. She had a right to be angry with him and he knew that.

“You two are everything to me. You both are my world. I wouldn’t be here without you or Ellie.”

“Then what is it? Is it your father? Because you’re not like him,” she began, going on to list the many reasons she believed Simon was not like the drunk. While it was relieving to hear, she still was missing the point.

“That's not it.”

“Then what the hell is it, damnit? Why is this case so goddamn important to you that you can’t come home to your family?”

“‘Cause of what he did to you!” Kamara was stunned, taking a step back from the first time Simon had truly yelled at her. Her eyebrows crinkled and her eyes searched the room, hoping to find an answer to what the hell he was talking about. They were both trapped together in that cell. However, her memories briefly started to come in, and she realized the guilt the man had held onto for all these years.

She forced a smile that didn't reach her eyes, hoping it’ll be enough for the man, “Simon, I’m fine…I’ve moved past it.”

“No, you haven’t, and you know full well you haven’t. Don’t try to lie to me–,” an ironic thing to say, he knew. “ You avoid the mirror like it’s the bloody plague. Loud noises still make you jump. You still flinch when I try to touch you. For God’s sake, hearing the shower run still gives you a panic attack. You’re not fine.” Kamara’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears and her shoulders drooped with a weight that seemed impossible to carry. “Look… I’m okay. It was only a few months and I hardly remember most of it. I have been through years of worse.”

“Did that worse include being drugged and sold, too?” No. Despite what she told him about the Red Room, he knew just as well as she did that those few months were insufferable, making the Red Room seem like a playground. The only thing her imprisonment and the Red Room had in common was that she constantly received reminders that her body was not her own. “It wasn’t that bad…the drugs made me forget most of it…besides, some of them were quite nice.”

Clenching his jaw and rolling his eyes at the woman, who could feel her husband’s burning stare beaming down on her, almost embarrassed that she made the irreverent comment. She was only trying to lessen his pain; humor was always how they pushed past their traumas, but the time for it was miscalculated.

The quietness was eerie, so Kamara decided to continue to attempt to ease his burdens. “How many times do I have to say it? I am fine. I’m sorry that you understand the things I went through. I wish you didn’t, but I can promise you, I’m alright. I don’t even think about it even more.” She was lying through her teeth and she knew it, but it was a needed lie she had to tell her husband and herself.

Simon’s silence was always scary, especially when Kamara couldn’t tell what he was thinking. It was obvious he was hurting. He was worried for her. And above all, he yearned for her past self, not only because he missed her contagious laugh and how she used to walk with her head high, but because he knew her past self would be disappointed in her present self. Before, she found every reason to smile no matter her circumstance–something he loved about her–and now, it seemed like she prohibited her freedom to smile as if she needed permission to do so.

“You wanna know the worst part about it?” The grave man had finally chosen to speak, ridding Kamara of any jests she had left, leaving her tongue-tied.

“I couldn’t do anything other than watch them strip you down and drag you away,” he began, Kamara’s eyes immediately becoming glassy and her vision blurry. “I could hear your screams until your voice went hoarse. I could hear them whip you. Beat you. Rape you.”

Any words that Kamara thought she could muster up had disappeared, her brain unable to come up with any response that could relieve the trauma her love had gone through, but ‌there was nothing she could say. The only thing she could do was accompany him in his pain, making sure he wasn’t alone in it, filling the space he thought would forever be empty.

“You dun’t remember, but I do, ‘cause they made me watch. It didn’t matter how much I closed my eyes, ‘cause I could still hear everything…and there was nothing I could do about it.” The days were blurry to her, constantly high on whatever the drug was for the week, her body never gaining tolerance for any of them. The pools in her eyes overflowed, but she tried to wipe away the streaks quickly painting her face.

“They might not have dragged a knife across my skin or beat me half to death, but they knew that just hearing and watching you was torture enough. Even when we finally made it out, it was like you weren’t really there. I thought the detox would kill you, but it didn’t, and that’s when I thought there was still a sliver of fight left in you.” What came next was what really broke her. This was the first time Simon had expressed any grievance for the situation, having never spoken about what had occurred three years prior.

“But then I found you—your wrists slit, bleeding out in the cabin, eyes completely dark, the light gone until we found Ellie. Even then, it’s not nearly what it used to be. I’m reminded of what happened every time I see that scar on your face and every time I try to hold your hand.”

There was nothing more that she felt she could do. What happened…happened. It was over and she wanted it to all be behind them. “None of that was your fault,” it seemed like they were battling who to blame even though the answer was clear, “I’m deeply sorry you had to endure that pain. I didn’t know that. Things like that don’t bring a spark to anyone unless they’re insane.” She thought she had avoided Simon being tortured, but there were factors she obviously didn’t consider, but she tried, and there was nothing she could do about it now other than be grateful he’s alive. “And sure, maybe I’m not as…joyful or happy as I used to be, but at least I am trying. I am here,” her voice shaking and her volume gradually increasing as she spoke, her rage coming over her again. “I make sure I am here for you! I make sure I am here for Ellie! And guess who is here for me? No one!” It wasn’t fair to Simon, having to keep everything bottled up, but it also wasn’t fair that the one person Kamara wanted–hell, needed–was choosing to not be by her side because she wasn’t the same.

“Mar—,”

“You’re supposed to be the one who is here for me, just like I will and have always been there for you! But now, I know you can hardly stand to look at me so it makes more sense.” It didn’t help that she could hardly look at herself because she was also reminded not of what they did to her, but what they took from her.

“That’s not what I said,” he calmly said. The wavering guilt fell upon Simon, knowing Kamara couldn’t be responsible for the burdens he did not communicate; she thought she had prevented him of that burden years ago, but not all burdens can be physically carried.

“Basically, what you said.” She had lowered her voice, it was still quivering but more controlled. “Don’t be like that.”

“Like what? What am I being like? What do you want me to be like? Why am I not enough?” It was obvious Kamara was officially breaking, not upset that she was lied to, but because she believed a part of her died in that cell, just to be left with the parts bearing untold secrets. Simon didn’t know how to answer the questions and, quite frankly, he didn’t know if he was supposed to, so he answered it the best way he could.

He cupped her face that was covered in tears, which he gracefully stroked away with his rough thumbs, “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. You are more than enough. Everything you’re doing is enough. You’re amazing.” He allowed Kamara to fall into his arms, her steady flow of tears staining his chest. “It was selfish of me to say that. I love you no matter who you are and what you do. I will always love you and I will always be by your side no matter the circumstances. I swear to you.”

“So then come home…please…” Her tears seemingly ceased. All she wanted was for Simon to be by her side and not have to spend each moment with him wondering if it would be her last.

“I will,” he replied, feeling Kamara’s chest stop and her breath hitching,“after this mission.” The last tear that Kamara hoped wouldn’t fall made its way to Simon’s shirt, her heart shattering just like it did every time Simon left her.

“I hate you,” she whispered. Simon’s hand found its way to the back of the whimpering woman’s head. “I know,” he said. He knew his wife didn’t mean it, but it pained him knowing that she loved him so much that she hated him for it, and his love was just as strong. Love was the reason he hadn’t resigned, because when he went home, it meant that he was forced to face the fact that he was an option. That someone chose to love him and wait for him, and that scared him the most, but he could no longer let his fear hurt the person who loved him, no matter his past.

“But I promise you, after this mission, I’m done. I’ll come home. I won’t miss a single night next to you. I’ll cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I’ll tuck Ellie in every night. I’ll even help her with the stupid homework you give her–,” Usually, Simon’s promises of coming home fell through, making the rest of his promises seem like just another set of words, but none of them had ever sounded as earnest as the one he was now making, filling a void in Kamara’s chest that none of his other pledges ever did.

Previous Chapter

I have an extended ending for chapter two in the works.

[rebelscums]

You Drew Stars (Tech x Jedi reader x ?)

Ratings: Angst | Fluff

Summary: Unrequited love is a real Bantha

Pt 5 of You Drew Stars

It’s been two weeks since Tech and I had that… Fight. We’ve never fought like that before and now… Now the tension between us has only grown stronger.

It didn’t help that my confidence is gone or that my partner in crime was currently on a mission. It was by poor timing by Sid that Hunter had to leave the night of the fight to go do a job. Now I was left to move past my feelings without the support of my best friend.

So I did what I was trained to do.

Ignore my problems until they eventually disappear.

To say that I was avoiding Tech like the plague was an understatement and yet he seemed to be everywhere all the time.

Could the force not give me a break?

I was mindlessly sorting through supplies with Echo on the loading dock when I heard Tech’s footsteps before I saw him. A tight feeling filling my chest as anger tried to claw it’s way up my throat.

“Hello, I need to… well…” His voice trailed off as he adjusted his goggles.

“What is it Tech?” I muttered with spite.

He rolled his eyes with a huff, “I need to check the panel behind you.”

“Do it later.” I replied, looking back to the box of wires I was sorting through, “We were here first and what were doing is pretty important.”

Tech raised an eyebrow, “You’re untangling wires.”

“Wires that would save us all if the ship short circuits.” I seethed.

Echo glanced between the two of us with caution as he slowly put down an extra air duct panel.

“Maybe we should take a break General.” Echo said trying to keep the tension from rising.

“No.” I disagreed with him immediately, a childish tone in my voice as I crossed my arms, “We were here first.”

Tech mimicked my movement, crossing his arms as well, “You’ve been here all morning, it’s only logical that you step aside and allow me to work.”

I glared at him as I pointed towards the way he came, “No way brown eyes.” I spat his beloved nickname with spite, “Go be a terrible friend to someone else.”

I saw the way his shoulders deflated and for a moment I wondered if I went to far… That is until he opened that mouth of his.

“I won’t ignore this hostility General. You need to move past our argument, you’re being childish.” Tech motioned towards my stance.

Me childish?

I rolled my eyes at his peace keeping tactics, “Piss off Tech.”

“Yeah! Piss off!” Omega called from the bottom of the ramp with Wrecker in tow.

“Omega wait no, don’t say that.” I said quickly as I lightly scolded her.

Tech chose not to add anything more to conversation. I heard his steps fade as he left. Wrecker’s laughter boomed through the hall as he followed his brother, “Nice going General, now she’s going to be saying that all week!” He called as Omega skipped ahead of him.

I shook my head with a sigh, “Hunter is going to kill me.”

“Probably.” Echo teased to try and lighten the mood.

Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

The only thing I could hear ever other day was Phee giggling through the ship as she told the group about her latest adventure and Tech’s warm voice as he spoke gently to her. A warmth that I haven’t heard from him in weeks.

It use to be us talking late into the night and now… Now it’s her.

“You’re too smart brown eyes.” Phee said.

I didn’t mean to, but my eyes seemed to flicker to them and that was when I saw her planting a kiss on his lips. It brought me back to the night of my failed attempt at a proper date, my stomach suddenly churning at the sight.

The loving display had me pushing the food around my plate, no longer hungry or in any kind of good mood.

“Here Wrecker.” I passed my plate to him before getting up to leave.

“Brown eyes.” I muttered sarcastically as I entered my small room, “Of course they have to ruin any ounce of peace I have in this ship.”

I couldn’t help as I paced about my room. How long before they move past the stages of puppy love and into marriage? Would he leave with her or worse… Would they stay here?

Would I be forced out to make room? Maybe leaving isn’t such a bad idea… Maybe Rex could use a hand?

My thoughts muffled the footsteps approaching my room and the swoosh of my door opening.

“You haven’t been finishing your meals lately.” Tech’s voice stated behind me.

I tensed not realizing that he followed me.

“Why do you care?” I asked without looking back.

I glanced around the room to see if I could find anything that I could use as an excuse as to why I’m in here. I spotted the laundry that I had yet to put away and decided to go with that.

“Why would I not?” He stated promptly.

I continued with my task, grabbing the small basket filled with Omega and my clothes. I placed the basket on my bed and began to fold.

“You’re not acting like yourself.” He said after a while, “Our dynamic has shifted and I don’t understand… For that I apologize.”

I froze, the red long sleeve in my hand feeling like a weight of bricks and yet he continued.

“I would like for things to… Go back to how they were before our argument.” He continued, a small gentleness laying in his voice.

The way he was pleading for our friendship had me gripping the shirt tighter then I should.

“I need time, Tech.” I spoke softly, defeat filtering in my voice.

Things will never change between us will it?

“Alright.” He conceded with a nod, “Sleep well General.”

But with time, each day I reverted more and more back to my room. The only safe haven I have had away from the new couple… Away from Tech.

Another week passed and my feelings have yet to fade… Maybe in someway it has, but not enough to ease my short temper. I knew deep down that this feeling was only heightened because I am a Jedi, but that thought didn’t ease the pain of a first love any less.

Who needs him anyway? I thought angrily, but my anger slowly morphed into longing.

I do…

“Come on General. I think it’s time for you to get out of bed.” Echo’s voice had me throwing Tooka in his direction, using the force to hit him in the face.

I was happy in that Wrecker lent me Tooka in that moment because Echo’s annoyance made it worth it. He huffed as he put the doll on a shelf.

“I like my routine.” I muttered still facing the wall of my bunk.

“Your routine consists of sleeping all day and doing night watch. You need to get back to your old routine.” Echo insisted.

“He didn’t even think it was a real date.” It was quiet as my heart ached, “It’s clear to me now that he’s never even thought about me as someone who could be more than just a friend… His General.” I spat, I was really beginning to hate that word.

“I can’t… I don’t know how to fix that.” Echo leaned against my bunk, “I don’t know how to get things back to the way they were, but I do know that the team needs you. Omega needs you.”

That one name had me slowly getting out of bed and sitting up. I shook my head as if it would get rid of the heartbreak.

“Alright.” Was all I answered.

I could see the small grin forming on his face, “I’ll leave you to freshen up. Wrecker, Omega and I will be waiting outside to spar.”

It felt like years since I washed my hair though I used the refresher a couple days ago. In some ways it was nice to get ready and even though I’m hurting, I missed my little family more.

I didn’t know if I should be relieved or hurt that Tech wasn’t here as I made my way through the ship and outside. Most likely with Phee.

“You’re up!” Omega cried out excitedly as she bounded towards me.

I barely kept her from knocking us both over as her arms wrapped around my waist in a hug.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been myself lately, but that’s going to change. I promise.” I said as I wrapped my arms around her.

She pulled away to grab my hand and drag me to her brothers, “You have nothing to be sorry about. We’re just glad your here with us now. Oh! By the way, Echo and I saw Indul while we were at the market yesterday. He asked how you and I were doing.”

“He did? What did you say?” I wondered.

“I said you weren’t feeling well. He told me when you’re feeling better to have us stop by Sol for some of those little pastry cakes.” She smiled.

“That’s nice of him, I think he’d make a good friend.” I nodded with a smile of my own, “How about this weekend, you and I stop by there yeah? We’ll have another girls day.”

“Yes!” Omega cheered.

The day slowly melted into old routines and laughs. I spent my time sparring against Echo who took it very seriously while Omega and Wrecker were being complete goofballs to our left.

“You are getting better Arc Trooper.” I complimented Echo as he used his strength to unbalance me, “I dare say even better than your days in the 501st. Rex will be proud.” I nodded.

“Thank you, General.” His smile was warm as he remembered the good old days and how far he’s come.

“When do you think Rex is going to come to visit us?” Omega asked as she swung from Wrecker’s arm.

“I think it will be soon.” I answered, “If he has time that is.”

“I hope it’s for a friendly visit and no work.” Wrecker commented.

“Have you met the captain? He’s all work. I remember the time my master and I teamed up with Master Skywalker and the 501st captain. Rex would barely even blink, straight as a board.” I joked as we all broke into a laugh.

“What’s got you all laughing?” A voice hummed from behind me.

I felt myself recoil at the approaching couple. How did I not sense them? I thought as I took a few steps towards Echo. He seemed to get the message and quickly stepped in front of me.

“Just reminiscing on some old memories.” Echo replied nonchalantly.

“Oh! That’s nice, memories can be a good thing to hold onto.” Phee answered.

“What brings you here?” Wrecker asked as Omega dropped from his arm to run over to me.

“I have some time off so brown eyes brought me here to show me what he’s been working on.” She replied, “We’re going to compare notes and try to improve his ship.”

I couldn’t help my darkening gaze to the tall clone at the mention of something we used to do together was now being shared by them.

“That use to be our thing.” I muttered, my glare never leaving his, “So much for back to the way things were before.” I scoffed.

His gaze didn’t back down from mine as if he were itching for a fight.

“I never knew it was our thing to begin with.” Tech stated with ease.

“Huh…” My voice trailed off, a defeated lilt to it.

It seems talking to him nowadays only ended up in this defeated feeling laying heavily on my chest.

“What?” He continued.

I had to bite my tongue before I cursed Omega’s brother in front of her. I chose to glare instead, but it seems that Tech always has to have the last word.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked with scrutiny.

“I can look at you however I want.” I rolled my eyes, “We’re supposed friends right?”

“What did I do this time, General?” He sighed.

“Breath.” I crossed my arms.

“Well breathing is inevitable if I wish to live.” Tech stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “You’ve already ignored me for a week. You said you needed time and I gave it to you. What more do you want from me?”

“What more do I want from you?” I raised my voice as I took a step towards him, “Are you kidding me right now? You just told me that our thing was never our thing to begin with. We’re supposed to be friends and that’s how you chose to spend your time when I asked for some time in return. To have a new person to compare notes with?”

His mouth opened to speak, but the words never came as Omega stepped between us.

“I have something to show you.” Omega took my hand to lead me into the small woods and away from the heated conversation that was about to explode out of preparation.

“Have fun then.” Echo said to Tech with a concerned nod, “Wrecker and I are going to continued sparring.”

I didn’t hear the rest of the conversation the further we walked.

“What do you want to show me?” I wondered.

“It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it.” She grinned, “This place is magical.”

It wasn’t too long before we were breaking into a small opening where a stream of water fell over some rocks into a bright blue pond.

“Omega! This is amazing! How did you find this place?” I asked in awe.

“Hunter found it for me when I told him that I wanted to see what a waterfall looked like. It’s not as big as Echo has described, but it’s still amazing.” She explained as she padded into the water.

I followed her a gave a little splash in her direction to which she squeezed with laughter and this began our water fight. By the time we were finished wading through the water, we sat side by side on the moss near the pond.

“What Tech said the other day… I’m sorry.” Omega said after a while of peaceful silence, “I thought maybe he would realize that he did like you, but I was wrong.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, those words were shared between he and I.” I explained, “Sadly, not every romance is like a holo movie.”

“It should be.” Omega muttered, causing me to laugh.

“My master once told me that miscommunication with unrequited feelings is normal. I can’t be fault him if he doesn’t feel the same way.” I said.

My own words seemed to slap me in the face as my eyes widened. I can’t fault him if he doesn’t feel the same way. In some odd sense I felt a weight being lifted off my chest as I began to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Omega laughed along with me.

“Love is such a silly feeling.” I wiped the tears from my eyes, “But I feel better now thanks to you Omega.”

“Thanks to me?” She asked.

“Yes.” I said as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a hug.

“You will find someone.” Omega nodded to herself.

“Thank you sweetheart.” I kissed the top of her head.

“I was wondering where you two ran off to.” Hunter said as he appeared from the tree line.

“You’re back!” Omega said excitedly as she quickly pulled away from me to give her brother a hug.

“Welcome home Hunter.” I greeted him with a smile, “Hope you didn’t miss us too much.”

“You two? Always. My brothers on the other hand… Now that’s a different story.” Hunter joked as we laughed.

Hunter settled himself beside me as Omega ran back into the water.

“How have you been?” Hunter asked, his voice much lower than before.

“I’m better.” I smiled softly.

“I saw Phee back at the ship when I arrived earlier.” Hunter mentioned.

I played with the blades of grass flowing in the breeze, “I’ll admit that I haven’t been the best of company to anyone since you left, but I want to move forward with my life.”

His eyes softened, “I’m happy to hear that.”

“Yes, though every time I hear her call him brown eyes, I want to crush the ship in my hands.” I chuckled.

“I ask this because I know you can, but please don’t.” Hunter said lightening the mood as he admired her laugh.

“I won’t I promise.” I held my link out towards him.

He returned the deal as we sealed the small promise.

A calm settled over the two of us as we watched Omega chase a fish in the pond.

“Domů.” I said softly.

“What?” Hunter asked, his gaze flickering to my form.

“If I were to give a nickname it would be Domů.” I answered.

“What does that mean?” He wondered, eyebrows furrowing a bit in curiosity.

I tilted my head up, noticing the way some strands of hair seemed to blow into his face from the breeze.

“My master took us to a planet known for their beautiful culture and landscape. The people their were kind and wonderful… They used this word sacredly, maybe I will tell you one day.” I grinned as I watched his lips form into a pout.

It was then that Omega settled herself in between us, a laugh settling in her bones as she took a rest from her chase.

“I almost got him!” She said excitedly.

I pulled in for a hug, “I saw! I’m sure you will catch him next time!”

“Of course I will! I’m the best!” She boasted and i couldn’t help, but laugh.

“Oh? Someone’s getting a bit cocky, you know that is not the Jedi way. I think it’s time for…”

“No no no no!” She squealed trying to get up, but I held her in a tight hug as I began to tickle her, “I’m sorry!”

“Too late~!” I grinned.

“No!! Hunter save me!” She screamed as she laughed.

Suddenly I was grabbed, pulled towards Hunter’s side, tickling me as Omega escaped.

“Hey! You’re suppose to be my best friend!” I cried out in a laugh as he tickled my sides.

“Sorry, you know I can’t say no to her. Not even for you.” He whispered in my ear as he stopped tickling me.

“Traitor.” I stuck my tongue at him.

“Oh don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same.” He rolled his eyes teasingly as we settled back into our spots.

I looked up at Omega who was smiling at the two of us, “I would.” I said almost immediately.

She fell back on the ground between us, “Hunter can you tell us about your adventure!”

“Well…” He hummed and the two of us listened who heartedly as he shared his adventure trading cargo for Sid.

“So he tried to kill you for a bunch of transmission scraps?” I asked in disbelief.

“He didn’t know when to back down until I put my knife to his throat. The rest of the mission was successful though.”

Omega and I fell back to the moss with a laugh. I took my time to admire the sky and trees above us, grateful that a place like this could be here. I was also grateful to my family sitting beside me and the way Omega talked excitedly to her brother about what she’d been up too. It almost looked like a father who’s been away for a while and a daughter happy that he’s home.

I couldn’t help the fluttering of my eyes as my breathing mellowed out and I was finally able to get some sleep that I’ve been missing these past couple of weeks.

“She must be really tired huh?” Omega asked.

“She’s been dealing with a lot of stress. Heartbreaks are never easy.” Hunter answered as he looked down at his best friend.

“I hope I never have to go through a heartbreak.” Omega nodded at her answer.

“You will, but just like her you are strong enough to overcome it and move forward.” Hunter replied as he stood up then leaned down to pick his best friend up.

Omega watched the gentle interaction with curious eyes. She wasn’t too certain yet, but maybe she was right about there possibly being something between Hunter and their Jedi.

Omega nodded as she quickly got to her feet as well, “Yeah, let’s go!”

The trek back to the ship was calm, as the cool breeze of the evening air began to set in. He could hear his and Omega’s footsteps as the descend the ramp and into the Marauder. He could hear Wrecker’s snores and Echo humming a song in the refresher. He could hear Omega call out Goodnight as she descended the ladder to her room. He could hear the lieutenants soft breathing as she barely woke up.

Without opening her eyes she mumbled, “Take me to bed Domů.” Before finally succumbing to sleep once again as he carried her to her bunk.

But most of all he could hear the sharp intake of Tech’s breath as he watched him head to their General’s bunk.

“What are you doing?” Tech asked with a slight sharpness fo his voice.

“I’m putting her to bed.” Hunter answered quietly as he set her in her bunk.

He made sure to tuck her with the soft blanket she recently bought, a soft smile creeping onto his face as he watched her snuggle into it.

He broke out of his daze when he heard Tech’s heartbeat pick up slightly. Standing up straight, Hunter made his way out of the room and towards the front of the ship knowing that Tech would follow.

They both had something important they needed to discuss anyways.

“Why did she call you that?” Tech stated immediately.

It was obvious to Hunter that Tech knew exactly what that word meant and couldn’t have, but feel a small bit of pride swell in his chest. But Hunter also knew that his brother wasn’t able to process emotions the same way as the rest of them. He knew that for him to understand he would have to explain to him in the only way he knew.

“Sit down Tech.” Hunter motioned to the pilot chair as he took a seat in the co pilot chair.

Tech reluctantly sat down, his brows furrowed as he tried to understand what was happening.

“Tech. You are my brother and I would die for you, but sometimes you can be so dense.” Hunter sighed.

“I don’t understand? I am fully capable of-” Tech began, but was silenced by his brothers next words.

“The General had romantic feelings for you.” Hunter stated.

Tech’s brow furrowed, “I don’t…”

“Out of everyone in the galaxy, she fell for You Tech.” Hunter explained, “She asked you on that date because she had feelings for you and you rejected her, chose someone else, insulted her, and has ignored her for the better part of less than three weeks. That’s almost a month Tech.”

“Why would the General have feelings for me? That is quite impossible.” Tech adjusted his goggles, “She is worth more to the galaxy than I ever will be. I’ve never even thought about her in any way other than being friends, of her being a leader for our squad through the war… I…” Tech sighed and he leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, face in the palms of his hands.

“I’ve heard others at Sid’s bar ask each other on lunch dates since we’ve been here, I just assumed she meant the same thing…” Tech groaned frustratedly, “That’s why she’s been distant. I insulted our general and I hurt her feelings.”

Hunter leaned back into his seat with his arms crossed, “What are you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to-” Tech began to answer, but was cut off by Echo.

“Hey boys, I just received an incoming comm from Rex.” Echo spoke looking at his transmitter as he entered the room.

When Echo looked up he immediately notice the tension in the room, “Uh… Did I interrupt something?” He asked with a confused expression.

“No.” Hunter shook his head as he placed a hand on Tech’s shoulder, “I know you mean well Tech and deep down she knows that too, but you have some thinking to do.” He spoke gently before motioning for Echo to continue, “What does Rex need?”

“He needs our help.” Echo stated and showed the coordinates Rex sent them, “I swear the General always knows when someone is about to show up.”

“She’s a Jedi.” Tech stated, “Of course she has a sense for these things.”

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a mission boys.” Hunter stated.

Taglist

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[shady-tavern]

Preview for "The Price of a Life" the March Patreon Short Story

(warnings ahead for murder and implied, attempted assault, please take care of yourselves)

*.*.*

Rani grew up with neglectful parents and a little brother who was treated like he could do no wrong. While she was often tasked with looking after him, receiving the blame for any and all misbehavior, her brother was given pats on the head for being such a strong willed rascal.

It wasn't the easiest time growing up and as soon as she was able, she spent every minute out of the house, helping the miller with carrying sacks of flour, holding horses still for re-shoeing at the blacksmith's smithy and in the evenings she was wiping down tables in the tavern. 

Any excuse to stay away and earn some money was pounced upon without hesitation. She was soon known around town as the girl who accepted any job so long as someone paid her for it. 

No matter how rough and tough it was, she lifted her chin stubbornly and no matter how hard it became, she was determined to prove people wrong when they doubted her.

She learned who in town was corrupt and to be avoided, she learned who would attempt to exploit her and she learned how to recognize the glint in people's eyes that promised nothing but pain and misery on her end.

She learned just how hard she had to hit to take someone down, heart pounding with terror and adrenaline as she stood in a dark, damp alley. A stone smeared with blood was in her hand as she stared down at empty eyes. 

She learned just how deep she had to dig a hole to ensure no wild animals dug the body back out, painful bruises blooming on her skin.

She learned fast and she learned well. Her hands grew rougher than any other girl's her age, she became stronger than many of the boys and she turned into a ruthless negotiator with a sharp intuition for those who wanted to trap her into agreements that demanded too much of her.

Her parents rarely saw her, but the few times they caught her sneaking back home, they were scolding her for being a terrible daughter who was never around and she ought to hand over some of her hard earned coin, they had housed and fed her for years after all.

Rani moved out of her childhood home as soon as she was old enough and the blacksmith flagged her down for an apprenticeship right away. It was hard work, but Rani was used to that and in the evenings she still went around, doing odd jobs for a bit of extra coin.

"I heard that unruly brother of yours got tangled with some unnatural folk," she heard her master say one day, almost half a year after having moved out of home.

They had some massive horses in today and they behaved well under her steady and reassuring hands. She had learned early on that animals liked it when she gave them a feeling of comfort and security, that they liked her calm and quiet words.

"I genuinely don't care," Rani answered, the black mare snorting and finally relaxing, lowering her head and her ears perked. 

She was a sweet one, but a different blacksmith had once badly hurt her while shoeing her and now she got worried and scared easily. It was understandable, in Rani's opinion.

The blacksmith hummed, a low noise that seemed to rumble in his barrel chest. "No one's seen him in a week, people think he ran into the Blood Lords."

Her hands stilled for a moment. Everyone knew of the Blood Lords, of the monsters that called the cursed city beyond the forest their home. Endless rumors surrounded that place, one worse than the other. Anything and everything could be bartered away in that place, from souls to blood and even someone's own children.

The Blood Lords never left their cursed city and while some speculated it was because they couldn't, they didn't need to either. Not when there were people desperate or foolish or arrogant enough to seek them out anyway, thinking they could weasel out a deal in their favor.

Rani had always thought that even her hardheaded brother knew better than to tangle with creatures which knew neither pity nor compassion.

"He'll be back soon, I'm sure," she said, though a part of her was sinking like a stone headed for the bottom of a lake. "He's old enough to start adventuring away from town. He's probably trying to get to the king's city and he'll turn around when he realizes it's a bad idea."

The blacksmith hummed, low and sceptical and Rani felt just as doubtful of her own words. What if her brother had been stupid enough to go to the cursed city? A place shrouded in eternal fog and with the taste of death so prominent in the air it made all but the most foolhardy or desperate flee in terror.

At least, it was like that according to rumors.

Rani focused on her work, but once she was sent away by her master, instead of seeking out one of the people who usually needed an extra hand, she headed to her childhood home. It had been the first time since she had moved out that she had gone back.

She half expected her brother to pop out, scaring her half to death and laughing at her face and the angry but secretly relieved lecture she'd give him. She half expected the little shit to have been hiding somewhere, watching as people fretted and worried, giggling to himself.

What she found were her parents crying their eyes out. Even before they looked up and spotted her in the open door, their hopeful faces falling with disappointment upon seeing that it was her and not her brother, she knew the truth.

Her brother had, indeed, been stupid enough to tangle with the Blood Lords.

"You must save him," her mother began, tone half accusing and half an order, as though she blamed Rani for this situation.

Rani turned on her heel and strode away, angry and worried in equal measure. She had always ended up stuck with cleaning her brother's messes. Had always had to face the anger of anyone he had played a prank on, getting scolded and told to keep him in line, because her parents slipped away from their responsibilities whenever they could.

She was sick and tired of being dragged into their problems, into being blamed. Her parents were two perfectly healthy adults, they should handle this.

She stomped all the way home, to the tiny little apartment over a general goods store she had rented. She passed by the alley where she had fought that terrible man, the rock she had used still lying where she had dropped it. Any blood on it had long since gotten washed away. 

No one had ever found out what had happened to that man.

She owed her brother nothing. In fact, she had told him multiple times to be more careful with his pranks and jokes, that one day he'd bite off more than he could chew. That he had sought out the Blood Lords was as laughable and nonsensical as a louse trying to tear out a wolf's throat. What had he been thinking?

She told herself that it was most likely already too late to save him. The Blood Lords took everything they wanted, they were considered even worse than the fae knights that rode through the forest during full moon nights, luring the prettiest lads and lasses out of their homes to whisk them away for forever.

The Blood Lords lived off of blood and souls and the screams of the anguished and tortured, their veins filled with dark magic and malice. According to rumors at least.

But there was always a kernel of truth to rumors, wasn't there?

Rani stared into her cramped little space, gritting her teeth, until an enraged snarl ripped free and she grabbed her cloak and shoved some things into her satchel before stomping out the door again.

*.*.*

Would you like to read more? Then check out my patreon! Or the masterlist, for more of my stories and other patreon story previews. Enjoy!

[narashikari]

Lango Sucks and Hooray for Elopement! A ChocoGummy Headcanon

Hanto and Sachika get captured by Lango somehow, and he makes Shouma an offer: Their freedom, for his. Shouma will marry someone of Lango's choosing and he will free Shouma's friends

As it turns out, a half-Granute, half-human hybrid is enough of a curiosity that Granute high society is willing to throw buckets of money at Lango to marry Shouma. Lango saw the opportunity and seized it

Shouma agrees to the terms, and Lango keeps his word, he frees Hanto and Sachika. He's even generous enough to give them time to say their goodbyes and even invite them to the wedding

Hanto and Sachika, ofc, are "WEDDING?" and Shouma explains the deal. Hanto ofc vehemently protests, begging him not to go through with it, but Shouma's already being dragged away from them

(Cue slow mo shot of Hanto and Shouma's hands being wrenched apart as he's dragged away for maximum angst)

A few days later a wedding invitation shows up at Sachika's doorstep, and she shows it to a mopey Hanto. She asks him what he intends to do about it. He looks at it and wonders if he should do something about it...

The Gochizous all gather around him, chattering, and then Hanto catches sight of one of them. He brightens up and looks at Sachika. "I need to make a few phone calls."

Dente also gets the invitation and is very distressed about it. He does not approve of his favorite grandnephew marrying some harpy his brother picked out for him. Then Hanto barges in asking for his help...

Meanwhile, Shouma has met the girl whose family won his hand in marriage. She's sweet and kind, but is as disinterested in the marriage as he is. He spends most of his time with her so he can avoid his siblings.

He talks a lot about Hanto. She quickly figures out he has feelings for him. And Shouma, of course, only realized it then.

The day of the wedding comes, and Shouma is dressed to the nines in a wedding suit. His family make a good show of doting on him, complimenting his looks etc, but it just makes him sick. He knows it's all a farce.

Lango, ofc, is the one walking with him down the aisle. He has a smug grin on his face.

They reach the altar and Shouma begins dread setting in as the wedding march begins and the bride walks in. His spirits fall further when he spots empty seats next to an upset Dente. Hanto and Sachika didn't come...

Shouma is so filled with despair that he barely hears the minister going through the motions until he says... "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"I OBJECT!!"

The church doors smash open, run over by a giant buggy. It's Hanto!

(If Shouma allows himself a moment to appreciate Hanto looking damn fine in a suit because wow that guy cleans up well)

(Also... why is he in a suit?)

"Is that the infamous Hanto?" *nod* "Huh. I see why you like him."

And Hanto brings out the receipts: showing the entirety of Granute high society Stomach Inc's dirty little secret, scandalizing the wedding guests and the family they were marrying Shouma off to. Dente is laughing his ass off at the look of anger on Lango's face

Lango, ofc, calls in for an attack, and decides to deal with Hanto himself. Hanto pulls out the Valenbuster, ready to transform, but has a smirk on his face, then...

"HOPPA!!!" Lango falls back as a giant grasshopper covers his face. Before he can wrench it off his face, someone punched him in the gut and sent him flying.

Glotta swings her scythe, only for it to be blocked by a flaming sword. She tries to force it down but the swordsman matches her strength.

The twins, who were backing away hoping to escape unnoticed, bump into a duo who quickly restrain them and share a high-five.

Nylev's attempts to call for reinforcements via his tablet get thwarted when it's yoinked from him with a terrible pun.

And then someone pops up from behind Shouma, the girl and the minister. "Kami-sama disapproves of this union. Sorry about that."

Shouma's eyes widen with glee. "Senpai!"

"We'll take care of everything from here, Valen." Geats says. "Go get your boy."

Hanto doesn't waste time and runs up to Shouma. He bows to the girl, and then sweeps Shouma off his feet in a bridal carry

"You better take care of him, Hanto-san," the girl says, winking at Shouma. "Of course," Hanto replies, and Shouma turns red as a tomato

Hanto carries Shouma to the buggy, meanwhile pandemonium has erupted as the Kamen Riders lay waste to Stomach Inc's agents and the Stomach sibs. Hanto only makes sure that Shouma's settled properly before turning back to leave

Shouma is, ofc, very confused about everything that just happened, so Hanto explains: he shows him the little Gotchard Gochizou, which gave Hanto the idea of calling reinforcements aka Shouma's senpai. Then they had Dente leave open a passage for them to the Granute World and that was that

Shouma comments on Hanto's getup, and Hanto was supposed to say he put it on on a whim... but he actually blurts out, "Well, if you're marrying someone, might as well be someone who loves you" <- confession + proposal all in one

It takes a moment for Shouma to understand, but when he does, he replies "I suppose I don't mind marrying someone I love either" <- confession + acceptance of proposal

Hanto's grin threatens to split his face. "How soon you wanna do it?"

"We've been dancing around each other so long... I don't wanna waste anymore time."

And so, Gilligan cut to some random church/shrine/temple and these two idiots are actually getting married right then and there.

Ikki is the one saying, "Wait aren't they going too fast right now?" Dente is crying buckets, so is Vice. They somehow convince Touma to officiate (Ace thinks he should've, he got glared at by Houtaro) and Aruto offered to foot the bill for everything. Sachika was the unofficial wedding photographer/flower girl/maid of honor while Hopper-1 was the ring bearer

The vows were most assuredly sappy and the two of them spent way too much time staring at each other. Houtaro Ikki and Aruto were also crying by the end. Ace may have sniffled a bit. Touma only managed to get through to the end by sheer willpower

The rings were ring pops, ofc

(Don't worry, Hanto gets real ones later. After the honeymoon 😏)

The next time Shouma gets confronted by his siblings and they taunt him by saying he's part of the Stomach family, he grins and says, "No. My name is Karakida Shouma, and I'm taking you all down once and for all."

[whatsthisascianbullshit]

I saw the "in my cups over them," so consider this a general prompt to ramble about them! Tell me anything and everything. I have to know more. 👀

Hi @halfalgorithm-halfdeity I struggle to get a lot of my Muireann and Hien thoughts wrangled down because they're tied up in the "chewing through tables over rediscovering your culture after being colonised and the systematic erasure of your culture and heritage" that Stormblood sends me through (truly, an expansion for My Interests /gestures at Ireland's 800 years of oppression BUT I DIGRESS)

Hien and Muireann meet each other at the best possible time to work but also it's the worst time for them to realise it. (on reading back I do not actually explain this - basically if they met earlier Hien wouldn't have made his own plans for sacrifice/rebellion and Muireann wouldn't have been running from her feelings and grief, and if they met later Muireann would have had a chance to fully wall herself off emotionally. But because they meet when they do, Muireann is still wrangling with her emotional mess and cannot admit that she has feelings for Hien and that makes it a mess for both of them)

THIS GOT LONG AND IS STILL SOMEHOW THE CLIFF NOTES VERSION LMAO

Spoilers for ARR through to Shadowbringers intro under the cut, mostly Stormblood.

Muireann is fresh off of Y'shtola collapsing a tunnel on herself at the end of ARR, Haurchefant fucking dying in her arms, then Y'shtola coming back but now they're both different but maybe there are feelings but it's Complicated now, and then Y'shtola getting almost killed by Zenos and Muireann goes with the contingent to help in Doma in large part to avoid all the feelings that seeing the woman she fully changes the course of her life for get cut down right in front of her and she couldn't do Anything. Muireann is going to Doma to harden her heart back up. Because heartbreak causes mistakes in her calculations and mistakes cost lives, and against Zenos that could mean an absolutely devastating loss of life.

Hien has spent the last year-ish of his life recovering from almost dying after watching Zenos kill his father in front of him. The smart move would have been to then flee but he put his people above his own life (also likely a Terrible way to cope with seeing your dad sliced open in front of you but yanno). He knows that what little military might they had before that rebellion is gone. So he makes a plan. One that only works if several extremely unlikely things happen in succession because he has this plan before the Scions turn up.

So when they first meet and Hien's response to "we have spent days changing their minds so the people ask for your sword" was "I will simply win the Naadam even though I am only a little while recovered and have had maybe a few months to attempt to get back into fighting shape" it honestly kind of short-circuited her brain. Because it was the only logical path forward but it was an incredibly risky plan with so many opportunities to go horribly wrong and it was presented as though it was simple. Because it also was a very simple plan. For the best chance of success with the least amount of lives lost they needed more fighters. This is the most efficient way to gain social standing with the most amount of people in order to make this request. It's essentially then just a process of Muireann's own feelings wearing down her bullheaded stubbornness to get her to admit the fact she has feelings to herself after she had decided that she Was Not Going To Care About Anyone Else Like That.

Hien was faced with a pretty elf that was quiet and reserved but when she did speak up it was largely related to tactics and strategy. Someone who clearly knew what she was talking about but that did not align with how she would have been described (powerful mage, vicious witch, breaker of gods). Then he sees her in battle. And she summons a dragon. To save him? Probably her brother. But maybe also him? Maybe just him?

The two proceed to flirt with each other obtusely while internally talking themselves out of the sheer notion that the other person is interested in them. The post-Naadam Doma arc for these two drives me fully insane I am obsessed with them.

When they eventually do get their shit together at the end of Stormblood they continue the trend of internally making assumptions about the other person and what kind of future they want. And so they pointedly avoid any and all conversation about the future and their feelings beyond "enjoying each other's company". At this point they're both fully smitten, head over heels, cannot imagine a future without each other. Neither of them say this to each other.

Then the strange headaches start.

Then people start falling into magic, soul-snatched comas.

Muireann initially continues to assume that she'll be fine because she has the Echo. Then during the fight at the Ghimlyt Dark where Hien, Yugiri and Lyse hold off Zenos until Murieann and the rest of her party arrive Muireann and Hien both have to face the fact that they are in fact In Love with the other person. Do they say this to each other? No. Of course not. (though in their defense this time Murieann was whisked back to Ishgard with the rest of the gang to recover closer to the rest of the Scions).

In Ishgard Muireann finds out that her brother has fallen into a coma. She's completely distraught both at the potential loss of her brother and also at the realisation that the Echo won't protect her. And she has never told Hien how she feels. She hastily writes a letter because she needs to get it out of her before the fear strikes again, and also because they have a lead at the Crystal Tower that she needs to follow up on. That letter is dispatched and mere hours later Hien is notified that Muireann has also fallen into a magic coma.

Hien then bullies convinces the remaining Scions to let Muireann's body rest in Doma. The offered logic being that if all the Scions and Warriors of Light are resting in the same spot, it would be very easy for Garlemald to blow up one building and be rid of the most persistent thorn in their side. A larger reason is because Muireann's confession letter opens with "I wish I could tell you this in person" and he stops reading. Gets her body safe in Doma. And waits.

Because there is something she wanted to tell him (and something he wants to tell her).

Anyway that's the cliff notes version of Them leading into Shadowbringers. They give me fucking Hives (I am obsessed).

Just two people piecing together what their heritage means to them in the present after attempts at destroying it.

A disaster-sexual wizard and a prince who loves women who can kerb stomp him.