#and her saying she felt kind of guilty bc some of the women had serious issues they were dealing with on top of the portpartum

[bonelessbabe]

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[shawn-mendes-post]

I Love You

Request:   What if reader is Shawn's PA and he's blatantly hitting on her all the time but she just thinks that he's like that with everyone bc he's friendly and after a night out wher Shawn is extremely drunk she takes him back to his hotel room and he asks her if she likes him and then proceeds to confess his love to her a bit dramatically bc he's drunk and then the morning after he's a bit awkward bc he kind of remembers what he said and she tells him that she likes him too before she leaves for a task

@irespostthingsiwanttoseelater

A/n: I hope you like how it came out. It is longer then I intended, but seems okay. Comment, Heart and Re-blogs would be appreciative. I would love for others to know about my blog.  I finished watching the TV show, Psych again, My favorite character is Carlton Lassiter. I was thinking about writhing some Psych fanfic. Tell me what you think.  Do not own anything.

Content Warning: None

Word Count: 4,000

It was a busy day for Shawn's assistant, that is in charge of various things. (Y/N) was currently on an errand to grab food for Shawn and the others, not knowing why she is the one they sent.  Countless things need her attention before she could go home and do her school work. She was walking into the building with bags of food, sighing as she strides to the men currently working. Her eyes glanced at her boss, loving to watch him sing. 

Shawn's singing would always make her swoon over and felt special when he would sing to her. Shawn would always flirt with her, but she never thought much of it. He does flirt with other women in her opinion whether he knew it or not. 

(Y/N) hands out the food and drinks until the only one left was Shawn and hers. Nervously, she bites her lower lip, heading towards him, despite him being in his zone. "Here is your food—a burger with no tomatoes, and fries with seasoning. Also, the milkshake you requested," she spoke softly, not wanting to disturb him. 

Shawn looks up, smiling as he grabs the food. "Thanks. Will you be joining me today, lovely?" He asked, winking as he pats the spot next to him." I can't eat without your beautiful face in the room. "

(Y/N) rolls her eyes, shaking her head at his ridiculousness before rejecting his offer, "sorry, have a lot of errands to do," she explained before walking off, not noticing his frown and disappoint in his eyes. 

She stops to inform Andrew of the process of what still needs to be taken care of before rushing to grab the things for the party. 

(Y/N) had told Andrew about the good news, and insisted on throwing a party for Shawn. She was in charge of everything, and still had things to get. The party will in a club, where the boys like to go sometimes after a hard day of work. His family was informed, and they would come to the party. (y/n) would eat in between the task before she was able to relax, heading back to Shawn's place.

Everyone was waiting for her to come because they were to head out. She did not see Shawn, which made her nervous to think he was not ready. The party was supposed to start soon, but it can't if the significant person is not there. 

"You are coming with us" The familiar sound of her boss broke her train of thoughts, snapping her head to meet the Hazel eyes that made her feel week in the knees. "I don't think so, you know? I have a lot of school work I need to complete. I was busy because I have a very strict boss, no having fun," she teased, glancing in his eyes, knowing she could just get lost. 

(Y/N) tears her eyes away, not wanting him to think she was creepy, despite knowing he would never believe she was. "Oh, I should talk with your boss," he mushed, his hand on her shoulder gliding up to her cheek. "He sounds like a horrible boss; I would quit if I had a gorgeous face like yours," he mumbled, playing along with her teasing. 

(Y/N) laughs, "he is okay. You know, always so busy flirting with other girls. Drives me completely crazy, having to get his attention for work," she banters, smiling playfully. 

Shawn frowns, not understanding why she would think he flirts with other females. Shawn wanted her. He would always flirt with her, but she acted indifferent to his advances, which made him believe she did not like him. "I think he is trying to get one girl's attention, but she is not noticing. Wonder if she is the one that is driving the boss crazy," Shawn states, glancing at her lips, wanting to kiss them. A taste of those luscious lips that droved him crazy whenever he sees them. 

Things seem to freeze, the two in their little world, and not paying attention to the others. (y/n) felt butterflies in her stomach, seeing Shawn, her boss staring at her lips. She wanted to lean and kiss him, to feel his lips on hers but knew it was unprofessional. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck, smashing their lips together, feeling wanted from the sexy man. Clearing her throat, she steps back, straightens out her pencil skirt and blouse to occupy her mind from the dirty thoughts. 

"I have things to do," she mumbled, cheeks flushed, hoping no one could see how hot she felt. (y/n) shakes her head, moving to walk away, thinking about how to surprise Shawn would be to see her there. She had to go pick up his present before going to the club. The present currently sat in her bedroom, perfectly wrapped with Harry Potter wrapping, and a big bow on top. 

Shawn stares at her with puppy dog eyes, lips pouting,  “come to the club with us," he stops, reaching to grab her hands before continuing, "I will not go if you are not going to be there." Shawn reached a new low with guilt-tripping her, which seemed like a good idea at the time. Shawn should feel embarrassed he was trying to guilt-trip her, but he wanted her to come. He never acted like this before with any girl, but (Y/N) was not any girl. She was the one that made him want to do good in the world with her by his side. 

It was the night he would layout his feeling for her. He is not wishing to flirt with her and her not thinking he was serious. 

The two individuals knew he was not serious, but expected for the boys to drag him there. (Y/N) could not believe he would say that to her, especially when she told him she had a test coming up. She stood her ground, not liking when someone tries to make her feel guilty. It did hurt her, and she would not look at him, not wanting him to see how she is hurt. This was not the Shawn she knew, and wanted to be with. 

"I will try, okay? I make no promises," she flatly said, running her fingers through her locks, already tired from this conversation. "I will not save you when you get drunk if I do show up," she mumbled, walking away without hearing his response. 

Shawn smiled, knowing this was the night he will confess. He wanted to confess his feelings to her. Shawn is in love with her and needed to know if she felt the same way. He knew the two had a more unprofessional relationship because he did consider her as a friend. He slowly realized how much he cared for her, despite thinking they could not be more. He hoped that he would be able to have the courage to say what he needs to say, and not be an incompetent drunk. 

---

(Y/N) reaches the club, wondering if she should go in with the present or wait for when the two are alone. Shrugging off the nervous, she makes her way into the club, seeing Shawn, who seems down in the dumps. (Y/N) unconsciously flips her hair, striding towards him as if she was on a critical mission. She hoped she was not under dressed for the club, especially when she only had twenty minutes to get there. 

"Shawn," she called, smiling brightly as she watches him perk up, making a motion to hug her. "Here you go," she said, stopping him from hugging her, which made him frown. Shawn smiles, trying to hide how hurt he was, grabbing the present, not knowing she would bring anything. "You did not have to," he mumbled, cheeks pink at the thought of her being thoughtful.

---

Hours it was passed by until it was past midnight, to the surprise of (Y/N). She did not intend to stay long since she was not lying about having things to do, such as homework. Brian was near, still having fun, leading to (y/n) to tell him she was leaving because she could not see Shawn. 

"Brian, I am going to go," she yelled, waving goodbye, needing the fresh air after being in the stuffy club. She was not paying attention leading her to collied into something substantial, which surprised her. "Sorry," she mumbled, before gasping when she felt the man's arms around her waist. 

"Hey," she shouted, about to hit him on the head, but she saw the familiar chocolate brown curls of her boss, Shawn. She was furrowing her eyebrows, noticing the familiar scent of alcohol reeking from the man hugging her. "Mhm, you are an amazing assistant," he slurred, glancing down, a bright blush on his cheeks, making him look adorable, as he smiles goofy. 

She laughs, nodding her head, knowing he is drunk, "do not scare me like that, Shawn. Come on; I will take you to Brian before I leave," she told him, trying to walk back into the club. Tried being the key word because she could not move. His grip tightens on her waist, preventing her from moving." I don't wanna," he whines, reminding her like a 5-year-old. 

"Fine, but let me take you home, okay?" She asked, giving him a look that she will not deal with his childish behavior. Shawn nods, letting her go as he follows her, marching behind her. (Y/N), strolled to her car, close to Shawn in case he needed her support, deciding on what she was going to do.  After many failed attempts, she was able to get Shawn in the car, after promising to go on a 'date' with him. 

---

The car ride consisted of the babbling from drunk Shawn, which (Y/N) ignored, other than the occasional nods and "mhm," since she focused on the road. There was a struggle to getting Shawn in his home because she had to hide him from the paparazzi. 'Damn, Andrew or Shawn better give me a raise. I did not sign up for taking care of a drunk Shawn,' she thought, struggling to open the door. 

After opening the door with no help from Shawn, she makes her way to the bedroom, Shawn next to her, practically dragging her down. The simple task to get him in the bed seemed impossible since he was much heavier then she was. "Few more steps, Bubs, you can do this," she encouraged him, which seemed to help as he flops on top of the bed. 

(Y/N) sighs, seeing Shawn is in a nice pair of clothing, which Andrew would freak out if they were to get ruined—debating with herself if she should undress him or get chewed out by Andrew. Deciding the latter option would lead to her terminations, she hesitantly fiddles with the buttons, an attempt to unbutton his shirt. 

"If you wanted me naked, all you had to do is ask," Shawn drawled, lifting himself to see her, propped on his elbows, smirking. (Y/N) rolls her eyes, muttering curses under her breath, knowing her face as red as a tomato. "You can change yourself then," she shot back, getting off the bed, about to head to his kitchen. 

Shawn grips her wrist, stopping her from leaving, knowing he had to express his feelings. The deep secret kept weighing on him since he meets her and could not repress any longer. "I like you," he said, drunkenly, fighting to stay awake, not wanting to sleep just yet.  

"I like you too, sometimes," she said, laughing at how cute he looks and the desire to take a photo-filled her. She ruffles his curls, not knowing why he is confessing this to her. She felt like he was only confessing to like her as a friend, which did sting a bit. 

"No, like like," he mumbled, knowing he did not get the message across. (y/n) She starts to get confused, not believing that this man, her boss, could have any feelings for her. Her heart stopped dead, the idea in her head. He could have any woman he wanted, and it did seem he was crushing on his best friend, Camila. 

"Shawn, stop." She stated, not wanting to hear any more. Not wanting to get her hopes up that the man she likes... no loves could possibly love her back. Shawn frowns, blinking furiously as he tries to understand what she said. 

"Do you like me?" Shawn asked, in a small voice, hoping she would not reject him after telling her the truth. 

"Of course I do, Shawn. I just told you. You are a good boss and friend to me, and that means a lot. I would not be going to college if it was not for you. Shawn, you inspire me to follow my dreams," she confesses, not telling him her real feeling about how she loves him. 

Shawn sits up after many failed attempts, he felt a headache forming, but he could not stop himself. "I love you," he slurred, reaching out to grab her hands, pulling her to the bed. She falls on top of him, with a squeal, and he lets out an "oomph." One of his hands rests on her hip, the other cupping her cheek. 

"I Shawn Peter Raul Mendes is in love with you, (Y/N). I love your cute laugh, which makes me happy by just hearing it. I love it when you get me my favorite food or drink. I love you and how you comfort me when I am stress because of the concert or if I am having a bad day. You are a perfect goddess, and I am lucky you are in my life. I love how brilliant you are, especially when you are doing those puzzles on your phone when you think I am not watching you. I love how kind you are and never mean to anyone, despite the possibility that they deserve it.  You have the biggest heart that I have seen in the world. I notice when you are not working that you volunteer at the homeless shelters or visit the orphanage to spend time with the kids. I love your height and vision us taking turns spooning each other as we cuddle in bed. I love how you will drop everything for anyone to come over to help no matter the time, which gets you in trouble with Andrew at times. I want to marry you someday and have a family with you. You are the one that I want to see every morning and every night. I want to spend every day treating you like the queen you are and hope that I will be your king one day. I want to love you for eternity, and am willing to give up everything for you. I don't need money or fame. Not even the fans and I do love each of them and how they supported me. I need you (Y/N)." Shawn ranted, slurring now and then, before leaning to kiss her. 

(Y/N) 's heart was beating against her chest, rapidly throughout his confession. It brought many mixed feelings for her because she never thought he would feel like this in a million years. Tears slide down her face, which surprised herself since she never cried in front of Shawn. 

When he pressed his lips against hers, she kissed back, wanting to enjoy this kiss, thinking he will not remember what happened last night. She figured, enjoy the moment before it is away in the morning. Reality would set in soon, and Shawn would have no recollection of what transpired between the two. 

The two pull apart, needing air as they breathe slowly, looking at each other. Shawn wore a dopey smile, unbelievably happy that he told the woman he loves his feelings. On the other hand, she was frowning, realizing what would prevent the two of them from dating. 

"Shawn, you are drunk. You need to rest, and in the morning, forget everything that happened. "She told him, a hint of sadness in her voice, as she gets out of his grip. 

"I am not," he said hurt, that she would not believe him. He might have had too much to drink because he was scared in confessing his feeling to her, despite the numerous talks he had with himself. The headache was getting worse, and he could not fight it anymore. He lets out a yawn, tired for all the events that happened but did not want to sleep. 

"You are drunk and sleepy," she states, moving to get him some clothes to sleep in, returning with shorts and a t-shirt. She starts to undress him, as he pouts, losing focus on what he was saying because of her touching him. He felt his body lite up in flames, wanting her to stay with him, and not leave. He desired her more than anything, and he would not let her slip out of his grasp just because she did not think he was telling the truth. 

"I am not tired," he mumbled, fighting back another yawn, wanting to prove her wrong. "Shawn, the two of us will not work anyways," she tried to get him to understand and change. 

Shawn tries to raise an eyebrow, but can't and makes a funny face. "Why not," he asked, feeling the buzz fading. "Shawn, I work for you. I am your assistant, and it would be unprofessional. I do not want people to think I got this position because I opened my legs. You already know how the press will make me look like a harlot. I like my privacy, and do not need any of your fans coming after me. I value my life and my family's life.  I worked hard for this job, and I do not want to get fired. You already know why I needed the money, which will stop me from pursuing my dreams and finishing college. The two of us in a relationship is bad news and will not work out," she explained, gently trying to ease him into understanding why the relationship would be doomed. A happy sigh escaped her lips when she finished helping Shawn change into something he could sleep. She walks off to set his clothes neatly on the drawer, leaving a note to remind her to pick it up for a wash with the rest of his clothes. 

In Shawn's mind, it was hard for him to follow her reasoning, as he was still drunk. He opened his mouth to protest what she said but stopped. He realized she did make some valid points, and there would be problems. He thought that they could handle each problem together as the issue arises. He did not know about her feeling scared about his fans since he knew his fans loves him.  He figured his supporters would be happy to see him in a relationship with a breathtaking woman and not just because of who she is.  His thoughts followed to her fired, and that was something he did not want. She is a fantastic assistant who goes above and beyond things she is told to do, despite juggling all her other activities and schooling. There would be no one like her, and that saddens him to think of losing her. 

Shaking his head to get rid of the negative thoughts, watching her take such care for him warms his heart. In the end, he knew he wanted to be with her and would not let the press, fans, or anyone get in the way of his happiness. "(Y/N)Come talk to me," he whines, wanting to tell her that he will always love her. He watches her make her way towards the bed, very tense with what is going to happen. "What Shawn?" She asked, keeping her distance from him.

"I know there are things we would need to figure out if we do become a couple. I know you are scared, but I want you to know I will not give up. I meant what I said to you, and I hope one day you will realize it. I do love you (Y/N). I will tell you every day if I have to until you believe it. I will scream it on the rooftop for everyone to hear me if needed. I will spend the rest of my life proving I have serious feelings for you, no matter how annoyed you might get with me. I will fight for this relationship, and will not fire you for being with me. I want you by my side, through everything, no matter what. I do not want you to worry about my fans because they will understand that I love you. I am happy with you. Your smile brightens my day just when I see it. I do not need your answer right now. I know you will need to take a while to comprehend everything I told you, and if you believe me. I will wait for you," he explained, very serious, as he fights off the sleepiness.

(Y/N) nods, knowing she would need to sort out her feelings and whether or not if she wanted to be in a relationship with Shawn. She does not deny that she wants to be with Shawn, but the negative thoughts kept popping into her mind. "Okay, Shawn," she said, glancing at him to talk more, but stops. She smiles softly when she realizes he fell asleep and was snoring quietly. Walking over, she tucks him in, making sure he is covering up with his blanket. She then makes her way to the kitchen for a glass of water and pills for his hangover tomorrow. She sets the things on the nightstand next to the bed before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Night Shawn," she says, exiting the room on her way out. 

---

Shawn woke up to warm morning sun, shining through the bedroom window. Shivering from the cold sheets as he pulls the blanket over his head. The alarm rings earning a small groan from Shawn, knowing (Y/N) would be waiting in the living room for him. He rubs the sleepiness from his eyes as he gets up, knowing he can't go back to sleep, despite wanting to. He moans in pain at the horrible headache he felt, looking at the nightstand to see two pain relievers. A pleased sigh escaped his lips as he drinks the cold water that brings relief to his dry, scaly throat for him to swallow the pills. 

He makes his way to the living room, dreadful as he remembers the confession he made to (Y/N). He felt mortified of how he spilled his guts to her the one woman he never wanted to leave him. He hoped that she would be in the living room waiting for him and that he did not scare her off. Spotting her, Shawn breaths in relief; she was there, but then gulps, not knowing what she will say. 

"How are you this morning?" She asked, looking up from her phone, worried about him not remembering anything from last night. She could not sleep and spent the time thinking about if she will take the step to solidify their relationship. "O-okay. I had this headache," he mumbled, eyes wandering, not wanting to look at her because he was embarrassed. 

"Do you remember last night," she asked, waiting for his answer. Apart of her wanted him to tell her he did not forget, and another hope he forgets. Shawn gulps, not knowing what to say, and stays silent. 

(Y/N) sighs, walking over to Shawn, placing her index finger on his lips. " Stay quiet. Shawn, I love you too. I was afraid of the things that could go wrong, but I do not want that to hold me back. I do not want to live with regret and what-ifs. I am willing to be in a relationship with you, and I will fight for it. I love so many things about you, but I do not have the time to tell you. My schedule is filling up, so I can't stay long. However, if you join me on a date Sunday, I will spend the evening listing all the reasons I love you. I know the risk I am taking by being with you, but your speech last night filled me with the courage to be with you. I never thought I would find a man to love me like you do. I want to be with you," she states, kissing his lips and quickly leaving before responding to her. 

[initiumseries]

CAOS Part 3 - review

Uh, okay, so I think by now, we all know this show is terrible. Netflix gives showrunners a lot of creative freedom, and I think, for better writers, you could get some really interesting content, but they just seem to keep giving these assholes who wrote the travesty called Riverdale, so many opportunities to make more shitty television, and I feel like they really deserve to be limited in their ability to create/write if not stopped completely and thrown into a well with Julie Plec.  Anyway, I’ll try to break this down as best as I can into different piles of shit and this will contain spoilers:

Characters

Prudence and Ambrose

So, to be really honest, I watch this show exclusively for Prudence and Ambrose. Because, well, look at them: 

I wish they had more chemistry because they are super hot together, and I still ship it. A young Black couple? On TV? In this sea of shitty interracial relationships? I’ll take it. Anyway, of course, the progression of their relationship is ridiculous and frustrating. Ambrose decides at the last minute, not to kill Father Blackwood because he has a weird time egg thing that they don’t really understand, also he has the twins under some weird mind control for no clear reason, so they stay their hands. It doesn’t make sense, but it becomes clear, Father Blackwood has an insane amount of plot armour and ultimately would have to serve as a vessel for Satan. Father Blackwood uses the manipulated mind of the other weird sister to sic her on the coven, and she ends up killing Dorkus, whom Prudence finds. She then blames Ambrose for not allowing her to kill FB, and they break up. Now...this would kinda make sense, if not for the fact that they trapped one of the pagan witches and forced her to change everyone back, but no one bothered to do anything about the mentally ill witch who you all strapped up for a reason? Lol ok. Seems like an oversight on your part Prudence, but...okay. Clearly manufactured breakups are exhausting, especially since [young] Black couples with no serious relationship dysfunction are now an endangered species. It’s also frustrating because we barely got to see them....*be* together, especially after they returned home. 

Nick & Sabrina

So, I know from the beginning, we were supposed to believe that Nick and Sabrina had that kind of, Bad Guy, seduces the girl Good Girl, luring her into the dark side, hot, intense, passionate relationship. But their lack of chemistry and really shitty acting just made them really dry (which I get into here). I don’t believe them, and I definitely don’t believe that Sabrina would, once again, break a shit ton of rules to get Nick back. I just don’t buy that they had that kind of an intense, desperately in love, kind relationship, because they do not look all that comfortable around each other, much less in love. 

I personally find Sabrina utterly unlikeable as a main character, largely because who IS she? She has no personality, she just does whatever the plot needs her to do in the moment, and the actress makes Sabrina appear smug and unremorseful while she fucks up everyone’s lives. There is a lot of exposition of everyone telling us she’s this power hungry, manipulative character, but we never see that. She just does stuff and everyone is all “Sabrina how could you?!” and there are never, ever any consequences. I would have liked to see her push so hard to get Nick back and the struggle being, sure she wants him back, but mostly she’s doing it because she can. But that’s not what happens. 

So Nick ends up in this weird drug addiction, alcohol, sex demon spiral because he has parts of Satan still in him and it all just falls so flat and lame, because this show is SO bad at pacing, and these actors suck, so nothing is believable. The idea of him scrubbing his club foot, having nightmares, suffering PTSD, is fine, the execution was trash. Nick sees Caliban and Sabrina have one interaction and he’s like WELL, GUESS I GOTTA CHEAT. And just ends up in some S&M situation with sex demons and heavily self medicating, but none of this has any weight, and we don’t really see him...spiralling. He just immediately resorts to these things and it has no real impact on anyone or even him really, and that’s it. 

Harvey and Roz

Uh, they’re probably the most confusing match here, because there is no lead up to their relationship, there’s not suggestion, there’s no pacing. Just BOOM, we’re into each other now. BOOM, Roz is the only sexually active person in her friend group (lol of course the Black girl is sexually active. Gotta maintain white innocence at all costs), so she’s just ready to jump Harvey’s bones any second now. So of course, the show punishes her by having the pagans turn her to stone. And as if that’s not bad enough...

Which I talk about here and here, because honestly I’m just sick of this show’s antiblackness.  Theo & that other guy

So I was watching this unfold like, yeeaahh, they’re gonna make the trans guy get with the enemy aren’t they? And yes, they did. Cool, they didn’t kill him off, but I’m still perplexed at how Theo isn’t even a little upset that this guy was basically sent to infiltrate his friend group and sat by while his people harmed Theo’s friends, and also...used him? Like...we just...are gonna...gloss over that because he changed his mind? Lol ok. Sure.

Mambo Marie and suddenly Zelda?

I...I mean her name is Mambo Marie. I love the idea of Black witches finding Black spirituality and magicks through Vodun and a Hatian Priestess. But they quickly undo that, by ensuring that Mambo Marie only teaches Prudence in the presence of these white witches. And we see her...doing...an African drum circle (eye roll), only to be interrupted by the High Priestess of White Feminism, Zelda Spellman. It quickly devolves into thinly veiled racism where Zelda doesn’t trust Marie because she’s Catholic (says the woman who worships Satan, has an anti Pope and prays to Lilith with the same prayer for Mary mother of Jesus? LOL. Not even unpacking the fact that Vodun is an African spirituality having 0 roots in catholicism WHITE WRITERS). Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Marie and Zelda are a thing for no reason? After the way Zelda treated her? Why did Marie even stay? This isn’t her problem. This is a white witch problem. Okay. That’s too much to unpack. 

Plot

So, my biggest problem with almost all Netflix English programming is that they are so obsessed with aesthetics, and don’t pay enough attention to actual character chemistry, plot, story flow, details, pacing etc. Like...things that actually make stories interesting to watch. So they slap all these people together and throw them into aesthetically pleasing backgrounds, shake it up with so much exposition that nothing actually happens, and are like BEHOLD A STORY. And CAOS is *especially* guilty for this.

First of all those musical breaks were annoying as fuck. Musicals serve 2 story functions: advancing the plot or telling a story. These musical numbers did neither and were honestly ridiculously gratuitous, highly annoying and totally pointless.

What time of year is this? Why are we having pep rallies and how the fuck and when did Sabrina and Roz join the cheeleading squad, and why?

for the aesthetics and not for any real plot reason. It just seems stupid because now I don’t know how much time has passed between Nick going to hell and this, because you’re all handling it like it’s been a few weeks and is still relatively fresh, but suddenly, Theo, Harvey and Roz are in a garage band? You’re a cheerleader? For what? Since when? Why? These choices introduce more questions than they answer and serve no narrative purpose. So much wasted time on shit that doesn’t matter. 

Sabrina is supposed to be fighting Caliban (who is literally the only person she has chemistry with on this show and they killed him bc ofc they did), for her seat on the throne, and yet the trials only seem to come up when it’s convenient, and also seem to be directly related to her dealings with her coven, which is also convenient.  I’m so confused about Satan. His powers come from being a celestial being, and so, because his coven mistreats him he’s like...lol okay, well fuck you guys and goes through all these convoluted small motions to greatly inconvenience them and withdraws his powers? This is so petty and pathetic. Also, what’s the point? He could just wipe them out and start over, instead of skulking around inside FB then suddenly decides to track down Lilith. Again, convoluted. This plot is all over the place. Why does Satan need Sabrina to be Queen of Hell in the first place? He seems perfectly healthy. Why can’t he just rule it? Like...that makes no sense. What is he gonna do? Retire? WHAT is going ON?

How did Sabrina come back in time to herself stuck in stone? Is that trip to Pontius Pilate (lol) supposed to have created a loophole for her to save herself and everyone? This is giving me hardcore Twilight Breaking Dawn vibes, where, the show finally, FINALLY gets interesting, there’s real stakes, shit is actually happening instead of everyone talking about things happening (Hilda ending up killing her fiance was literally the only time I felt something watching this show because it was genuinely sad, and well acted, and Hilda coming through with that doll at the end was pretty disturbing, I’ll give them that), and ofc, Sabrina goes back in time and undoes it all. Lol. Okay. God forbid there be real consequences to anything on this show.

Final thoughts

Once again, the white feminism runs high on this show. They treat this Black Vodun Priestess Marie, like garbage, allude to her “foreign” magic, but Marie is sitting here like “we’re not men, we’re women, let’s work together.” This is why I hate white writers writing for Black characters. Black characters should have Black motivations, and a Black Vodun Priestess, should know that white women and Black women do not have aligned motivations just because they share a gender. Once they started with the bullshit right from her arrival, she should have handed Prudence her card and peaced tf out. Instead she tolerates the isolation, ostracization and thinly veiled racism...and decides to stay, and help. WHY? Marie has gained nothing by sticking around helping these ungrateful ass witches. I honestly would have preferred Prudence asking her to stay to learn more about Vodun, and them building a mentor/mentee type of relationship, especially since Prudence was the one who invited her and stepped to Zelda to defend her. I want(ed) to see that relationship go somewhere. The deliberate denial of healthy Black female friendships on tv is frustrating.

 These witches finally finding their power in their ancestors and I donno, some female creator or whatever, reminds me of white women “finding” wicca and praying to “Gaia”, (reminds me of BTVS s4 when Willow joins the wicca group) which is basically what happened but lol okay whatever. I guess they aren’t satanic witches anymore. Lol, I love how Harvey and Roz and Theo are teenagers, human teenagers, who have lead largely normal teenage lives up until this point, but see their loved ones tortured, deformed or murdered in hell, with basically no residual issues, and are all like, YES, let’s roll up on these adults with shotguns and swords and kill the FUCK outta these people!! That absolutely sounds normal! Like...what? Lol. God this is just so bad.

Also, I’m so confused by this aesthetic choice for Sabrina as Queen of Hell. Like what the fuck. Why is she dressed like a Victorian era queen, with shoulder and a broken rib bodice? What?!

This show is truly awful, this season made no more sense than the last two and now that Prudence and Ambrose aren’t together, I might be done watching. 

-20/10

[carriedatlas-a]

Would John ever hurt someone Bradly loves/is fond of in retaliation for what he did to Emma?

short answer:     yes.    

long answer:      he has done it many,      many times in the past.      in fact that is his vow:      to take away everything he has ever loved,     to make him suffer a lifetime of hell,     to feel the same insufferable pain that john has felt since he lost emma.      it’s because of john’s consistency to take people away from him that bradly swears off love,     that among other reasons.      the most significant person that john took from him was his best friend   &   former agency partner,      liliauna rhodes.      they knew each other for years after the agency.      they became agents together,      went through hell   &   back between costly missions   &   training alike.      john was even friends with her.      (      her murder affected him in a lot of ways too but we’ll get to that another soon   !      )      bradly didn’t necessarily love liliauna,       not in that sense,      but he felt her loss decades after it happened.      even now he sometimes feels as if it only happened yesterday;      her death on his shoulders.     there was a week he didn’t come out from his house after her death;      a month were he didn’t talk;      a year where he couldn’t visit her gravestone because it meant admitting that she was dead   &   not watching him from the station like the rest of them.      mind you,      this is just after returning from vietnam not even a few months before,      so he had to face brutal memories   &   the nastiness that plagued him from the war stacked on top of his best friends murder right in front of him.         (      john was affected very differently.      he knew liliauna only because she was good friends with bradly.      he likely would not have known her on a more personal level outside of duty due of her position over him,      she being a unit leader alongside his brother.      when he found   &   killed her,      it was as if he had done it for the first time.      he felt sick to his stomach,      his hands were shaking,      &   he flinched when the gun went off.      he didn’t like doing it but it kept his point,      his vow alive.      killing her was the most difficult thing he had to do,      yet it was necessary to him.     )     

that is the main reason why bradly keeps himself a considerable distance from others when he meets them / becomes familiar / finds himself running into them multiple times.      he knows by association alone that john will have a reason to kill or torture for any amount of information,      no matter the person.      bradly can’t let that happen,     doesn’t want more blood on his hands.     he learned a valuable lesson after losing liliauna.      nobody was safe around him.

as far as like intimate relationships      (      i.e.      very serious relationships;      possibly talking   /   getting closer to the topic of marriage      )   ?      that is a major yes.     of course.      there were a few innocent women who were attached to bradly’s hip that he felt oddly fond of in his youth.      (      fun fact before this continues:     bradly has never actually loved anybody.      he’s had crushes or little moments of ‘oh she’s cute’ but he has never once found himself head over heels in love with a woman before.      not to say that his relationships weren’t serious,      but he never found himself thinking of marriage.     he felt strongly for some women in his life yet his reaction to their deaths,      nevermind how brutal or unexpected,      never found themselves weighing as heavily on him compared to some that happened in recent decades.     he felt guilty for what happened to them.     he cried for them,     buried them,     set flowers at their graves months after their death,      but none festered within him the same as some others.     )     

john killed at least two or three of bradly’s significant others,      (      after these women,      bradly stopped dating.      he instead tried to keep friends,      but soon learned that gave him no passes.     )      others he scared off rather than murder them in cold blood.      bradly reacted differently in regards to their deaths compared when john took away friends.     bradly felt very fondly of all these women,      yes   !      he was very gracious to them   &   showed them kindness,      affection,      tried to be a better person after what he did,      tried to be a good partner,      but there was also a side of him that felt nothing;      was numb.     it was often difficult to know what he felt,     but he tried.     when they died,     he was certainly devastated by the loss,      but a part of him also kind of expected it;      a part of him expected john to find where he was hiding   &   threaten the life of the poor woman he was with,      but never had he thought he would kill them.      he always thought that he would use them to try   &   kill him instead.     he was wrong.     he felt something for each woman that was murdered at his brother’s hand,      no doubt about it,     &   there were multiple months where he had fallen completely mute because of grief,      stress,      &   other shit he was under afterward,      yet nothing quite drew close to the one that changed his life after many more trials,      deaths,      &   faces .

THE ONLY EXCEPTION TO ALL THIS VENGEANCE IS CHILDREN   !!     he will not harm a mother nor her child because of the fight between himself   &   bradly.      he will not take a mother from her child,      nor bradly away from his children in the off chances that he actually has any,      &   yes he has thought of this scenario multiple times,      because he knows what it’s like to not have a father in his life   &   he will not stand to be the reason a child is fatherless in this world.      (      most of this children stuff is mostly directed at au verses bc lets be real bradly is not likely to have children in his main verse because of how strict he is at keeping himself away from feelings of love toward another being.     )     

john lives by a set of words his father stressed to him   &   bradly as children:      a moore always keeps their promises.      thus far,      he has done well to do so.      he has no plans to stop anytime soon.      johnathan is more than capable of harming a woman bradly loves / a friend he cares about in retaliation for what he did to him.      definitely.

[thejamesoldier]

81 Bucky x Reader?

Thanks lovie for sending something in! This was so fun to write bc let’s face it, we’re all jealous hoes when it comes to Bucky xxx

Prompt #81: “Who’s texting you? - “Umm. Nobody.”

{im sorry but this gif is actually making me cry. he’s just so beautiful someone stop him}

A Naked Face & A Phone

There were a couple of Things that happened that ultimately led to your downfall.

The first Thing was Bucky got a phone.

The second was Bucky shaved for the first time since the 40′s. Like not stubble management, but actually full on shaved. Naked face and all.  

Both were huge steps for him and you were so proud. You didn’t tell him that because you’re not Steve and it’d be weird. The only reason Bucky and you have ever spoken is because your the only one he let’s work on his arm.

Stark brought you in because you’re the best of the best when it comes to modern cutting edge technology (which Tony never said straight out, but it was implied and coming from Tony Stark you were flattered). Originally you were only supposed to conference with Stark about creating a new arm for one Sergeant Barnes. Help him with ideas and such because two geniuses were certainly better than one. But when you both brain stormed up a possible first model to present to Barnes before actually making it (because Barnes knows more about it than you two ever would and it would be stupid not to have him involved in the process), he took one look at the graphs and walked out without saying a word.

Tony almost chased him down being offended, furious, and exhausted from about two weeks of no sleep and too much coffee trying to make this for him with you. But you held him back and talked some of Barnes perspective into him. You figured the idea of any kind of surgery on his body would with out a doubt be one of Barnes’ big red ‘DON’T PUSH ME’ buttons on the PTSD panel in his brain.

It took a month of hard conversations and more model work-throughs before Stark, Barnes, and you decided on a final draft. You and Stark manifested this final theory into reality to make the first physical model of Barnes’s new arm. When it came time to put it on though, Barnes took one step into the surgery/tech room, one look at the metal table in the center of hovering machines and assistant drones, and plummeted into one of the most heart wrenching panic episodes you have ever witnessed. It down right broke you in two.  

It took another month for Barnes to be comfortable enough to even look Tony and you in eye (not that it was personal, you had to keep reminding Tony of that), and then another month after that to agree to try again. You couldn’t blame him for his fears. Honestly, if it were you, you would have given up long ago. But Bucky has the kind of soul that is so resilient, so strong even at it’s weakest, that he truly does belong in those comic books and museum murals. He deserved to be made a constellation in the sky to be look up to an awed at. Bucky astounded you.

Of course you’ve never told him that.

It turned out that Barnes was only comfortable with you touching him and securing the new arm because during his time with Hydra, no woman ever worked on him. Sure there were women scientists, but the actual surgeries and operations and tune-ups were left to the male “doctors”. Tony, for once, wasn’t offended if maybe a little troubled. Tony understood it wasn’t about him, it wasn’t even about Barnes, it was about fear and how it controls the mind and body, irrational or not.

It’s been about a year and a half since you attached that first new arm; a year and a half of you hopelessly and secretly pinning over Bucky Barnes.

Currently, you’re sitting in your own tech room (after the realization that Bucky wouldn’t allow anything to be done to him unless you were doing it, you were permanently hired) at Stark Tower, sitting a little crooked on a rollie-stool, bent over at an odd angle, nose deep in Bucky’s newest upgraded arm: JBB Model #024.

For the last hour you have been trying to get a set of wires to cooperate in his forearm and are heavily relying on your stores of patience to not do something childish or over dramatic in front of Bucky. Bucky still couldn’t make himself sit in a chair with a high back or head rest, so instead he sits on a stool too, metal (or vibranium – courtesy of T’Challa) arm resting on the sturdy work table between you. A bunch of tools and gadgets are displayed haphazardly on the generous wide tray. At the beginning of your tune-up the tools were all perfectly organized by purpose and necessity, but as this process dragged on a lot longer than originally planned, you got sucked into the mechanics of his arm and sacrificed your pretty tray for a messy one.

Your eyes hadn’t left the inside of his arm the entire time, blindly grabbing at tools and things as you could not pull your focus away or relax the line that felt as deep as the grand fucking canyon inbetween your eyebrows. Bucky watched every tick and snap you made in his arm. At the beginning he had to watch because he never was aloud to watch before, making sure you were doing what you told him you were doing. He sometimes felt the need to apologize for treating you like a Hyrda doctor, but one look at your face and he knew you understood and weren’t even the slightest bit offended.

He was so grateful.

Bucky now watched yes to oversee progress, but his gripping fear lessened the more he trusted you, and instead his eyes had wandered to watching you. He hadn’t looked at a woman and thought, ‘She’s pretty’ in such a long time that when it happened to him in the middle of one of your regular tune-ups, he had to exercise every inch of self control to not jolt in his seat. You thankfully didn’t notice but Bucky was left with a big ol’ ball of yarn to grapple with now.

As he observes you now, focused like the world will end if you break your concentration for even a second, he gives himself permission to admire you. He’s as familiar with the planes and lines and curves of your face as you are with every inch, inside and out, of Bucky’s arm. You’re simply beautiful, and Bucky feels so refreshed at having such a human thought but also nervous because shit how does this work again? and he’s kept this precious feeling he has for you tucked safe away inside his chest. No danger of being found out because if Bucky is good at anything, its holding onto things.

Barnes believes he’s too fucked up for you, but there’s no law against admiring you from a far (or one foot away) is there? He doesn’t remember that there was. Staring is only rude if you’re caught, which he made sure he never was.

As you tinker away you’re so absorbed in your work that you don’t feel Bucky’s gaze on your face, never have. You go into this zone when you work where everything blurs out, time, hunger, thirst, rest, your surroundings, and its a curse and blessing. Tony is the only one (and Bruce) who gets that.

Now nothing short of the world blowing up could pull you from your focus –

Beep beep!

Your ears register the sound of a phone vibrating and for some reason your brain deems this ‘world blowing up’ serious because you tear your eyes away from the godforsaken wires, to see Bucky blinking down at his Stark phone, large thumb tapping across the screen.

Your sore fingers want to twitch but instead you let your left eye do the twitching instead. Before you can stop yourself because who the fuck is texting Bucky?!! you finally, after a year and a half, trip up.

“Who’s texting you?” You would like to say your voice was casual and friendly, but instead it sounded hoarse from not having spoken in a while and surprisingly sharp.

Bucky’s thumb pauses. A number of reactions and emotions flutter and tumble through him at your tone. Plus the fact that you never once have been distracted, or even made small talk, while working on his arm before and now of all times you break your streak? Bucky ends up settling on feeling mushy and warm but also like gongs were being banged on in his stomach when he hits send, locks his phone, and stuffs it back into the front pocket of his jeans before responding.

“Umm. Nobody.” Now Bucky had no idea why he lied. Obviously someone had texted him (it was Sam yelling at him in capslock accusing him of eating the last of the oreos he had called dibs on; Bucky was totally guilty of this quote ‘HEINOUS CRIME’), but for some reason a foreign instinct told Bucky to be cryptic. To be mysterious.

Barnes’ words hit you like a slap in the face. The obvious fact that you had expected him to tell you was beyond embarrassing. He might be yours in your head, but in reality he barely said two words to you. Of course it wasn’t your damn business to demand to know who’s texting him! Bucky’s looking at you from the corner of his eye like you might have another head sprouting out of your skull or something. Your heart cries and hides under metaphorical covers.

Bucky keeps his profile to you, side-eyeing you with what he hopes is a dark horse (as Nat had called him) sexy confidence, but seeing your face heat up and your eyes blink back an expression of unfiltered humiliation, before you practically stuff your face inside his arm as you get back to work, he realizes you may have misinterpreted him.

Fuck, he thinks, barely stopping himself from huffing like a child, this flirting shit is harder than I remember.

You almost can’t take the never ending Niagara Falls level of embarrassment pouring over your head and soaking your body to the bone. You want to vomit. You want to stab yourself in the eye with the electric tweezers in your hand. You also couldn’t stop even if you wanted to the rush of theories running through your head at who could be texting him. The phone is new, barely a week old so you comfort yourself that he couldn’t have gotten loads of girls’ numbers…

Yet, you’re inner asshole adds.

You know Nat is trying to rope Bucky into her matchmaking game, the same one that she’s been doing with Steve. Your heart gives an extraordinarily uncomfortable squeeze in your chest, but you’re proud to say you didn’t wheeze. You only continue working on the wires, praying you can fix them because sitting here under Bucky’s obviously disgusted eye is Purgatory itself.

Bucky hears your heart do an impressive chorus of pumps and jolts, the only hint that you’re as effected by this as he wanted you to be. Okay maybe he didn’t want to make you feel humiliated, but the confirmation that you cared was so satisfying; he actually loved you wanted to know who was texting him. Your exterior expression is back to its professional masked coolness and Bucky is hit with the itching urge to try to do something to break it again. To peel you out of your formalities and get you offering –

Offering? Bucky’s eyebrows would have knit together but his face is as cool and empty as yours, Offering him what?

Its another ten horrible minutes from hell before you finally fix those fucking wires. As quickly as you possibly can you carefully re-plate his arm, making sure everything is secure and smooth, before near leaping out of your seat and sprinting for the sliding glass door even if this is your workshop. Shut up, escaping was vital to your survival at this point. You shout some excuse about really having to go to the bathroom before Bucky can say anything, door already sliding close behind you.

Bucky stares after you, outwardly impassive, but inside there’s a hurricane of What the Actual Fuck Am I Doing?

It’s been a week since your outburst. You keep torturing yourself with re-runs of the moment to remind yourself why you need to avoid him at all costs. I mean not that you spoke that much anyway, but still you made extra sure. You wish you were cool enough to not have to avoid him and could hide your feelings so effortlessly like Natasha tried to teach you, but you were much more pathetic and therefore, weren’t good at hiding your feelings. You’re surprised you’ve gotten away with it this long. If it was a normal dude you would have been caught much sooner, but since Bucky is so far from normal you realize that’s been your cop out.

Now you’re panicking. Because Bucky, while oblivious to certain things while he re-learns how to be a man, was and still is one of the world’s most deadly assassins with instincts and reflexes as sharp as a fucking laser. Nothing got past him in a professional setting, but now that he’s realizing he can apply those same skills to everyday communication in reading people you have a fairly good dooming feeling that your time has run out.

He’ll emotionally snipe your ass so quick you won’t even know what hit you.

Bucky’s arm tune-ups are weekly. Sometimes more than once a week if there are any minor training incidents or the like. Tomorrow he’s due back in your workshop and you’ve been laying sprawled out on the carpet of your bedroom in your place in Queens for the better part of three hours.

You’ve been meticulously going over emergency procedures, installing ‘self-eject’ buttons, on multiple situations that could occur in that room. You know your end is here but goddammit you’re going in prepared. You know you might be over-dramatizing things, but you’ve been head over heels for this guy for a year and a half. You give yourself a little slack.

It’s tomorrow and your about ready to vomit sitting, or more like jittering on your stool obsessively organizing and re-organizing your tools. Your hair is tied back into a loose ponytail to keep your hair out of your face as you work, but you are tempted to yank a few strands out to hide behind. Before your nerves can get the better of you and release a curtain of your hair, Bucky strides in.

You don’t look up right away, pretending to be professionally preparing your tools for the tune-up. It’s not until Bucky grunts his usual hello and sits down, before you brave a quick glance up and do a painfully embarrassing double take. Your lips part, your fingers drop the tool you just picked up, and your lungs peace out.

Thing #2 happened. He shaved.

The once rugged look Bucky sported had disappeared completely. The loss of stubble on his face revealed the elegant lines of high cheekbones and a diamond cut jawline, high arched eyebrows sitting low and enticing over crystalline cobalt eyes, a swath of coal lashes that cast soft shadows on either side of a swooping nose sitting above the deep valley of his cupid’s bow. It all collected into this handsome portrait of old world charm and beauty.

The sound of your tool clanking against the metal of your tray wrenches you out of your staring. You fumble with it some more making an awful ruckus. Bucky is smiling fondly at you scrambling cross the work table and gently places his metal elbow down in the usual position you like it when you first start. When you eventually wrangle your tools back to their spots and a loud silence reigns over the two of you, you gently run your fingers over his arm before starting the tune-up.

Your cheeks are like two bonfires that adamantly refuse to go out. Bucky watches you blush and blush and blush and blush as you dive nose first into his arm. It’s downright adorable. He hears your heart pump unevenly and fast, doing it’s best imitation of Thumper in your chest. Bucky rolls his shoulders a little and swallows against a dry throat. He takes out his phone and opens up the messaging app.

“Sorry!” You squeak when your fingers twitch at seeing Bucky fucking texting again who the hell is he texting?! and a sensor on the inside of his bicep sends an electric jolt into Barnes’ shoulder.

Bucky feels the jolt but doesn’t do anything but smile when you look up all doe-eyed and jumpy.

“Didn’t hurt.” The supersoldier says kindly, looking in your eyes and letting his smile ink into his gaze. You bite your lip, flutter your lashes in a nervous flurry, and snap your eyes back down to his arm.

Bucky is so damn smug with himself. Knowing for sure that him possibly communicating with other people makes you jealous. At first he didn’t know why you were acting the way you were, he just knew he liked it. It wasn’t until he really thought about it that it came to him. Bucky doesn’t want to play with you, he just wanted to run a few tests of his own before going in for what he so charmingly called ‘Real Obvious Flirting Initiative’.

With a small steadying breath and without taking his eyes off you, Bucky types out a text. His smile grows with your terribly hidden jealousy as you listen to the thick pads of his thumb tap the screen. When he’s finished typing, he checks to make sure there are no weird autocorrected words then hits send.

Your phone goes off with a ding! in your back pocket. You pay no mind to it and continue to work, subconsciously plotting ways to steal his phone and see who he has in his contacts. Threatening every female in his contact list is too much right? Right, yeah too much. Maybe you could accidentally break the phone? No, Stark would get him a new one. Probably even a better one at that. You continue your devious train of thought while pacing on through the tune-up.

Thankfully Bucky doesn’t pull out his phone again, so when you finish you don’t have to bolt out of the room. Again. You look up and deliver (what you hope is) a professional smile and a nod, wiping the grease and fluid off your hands with a rag. Bucky stands, looks down at you and winks.

You’ve never felt so close to death (and maybe heaven) in your entire life.

When Bucky leaves you breathless sitting dumbly on your stool, you pull out your phone and subconsciously check for any messages. 

Today 16:30

Unknown Number: Hi

You furrow your eyebrows and respond.

Today 18:12

You: Who is this?

It’s not a second before you get a reply. 

Unknown Number: Next tune-up you’ll find out

Things went pretty smoothly from there. Sickeningly cute actually but you weren’t complaining (only Tony did but what’s new).

Hi so I hope you liked it! I had a blast writing jealous!reader and smug af!bucky xx

Don’t be afraid to submit something if you so desire! Drabble Prompts are here .

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