#and her need to know about her dad makes sense

[thefallennightmare]

The Ties That Bind Us: Two

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit.*

•Parings• Noah Sebastian x Soulmate!Reader

•Word Count• 6,766

•Warnings• fluff, language, talks of death/cancer, angst, depression, dark thoughts, soft!Noah, smut that will include unprotected p in v, oral with both male and female receiving, hand jobs, and fingering. Pretty tame smut in this.

•Summary• Growing up, Noah’s grandparents told him the story of why everyone wore a red tie around their wrists and while theirs glowed while his didn’t.

“Yours will glow when you meet your soulmate, Noah.”

When someone moves in next door and catches Noah’s eyes immediately, he sees the red tie around her wrist glowing only to see his remains red. Convinced she’s not his soulmate, Noah tries hard to stay away from her yet small moments between them start to blossom. So much so, he can’t ignore the tie that binds them together

•Authors Note• Fair warning, this one will hurt.

SERIES MASTERLIST

TAG LIST

Song choice for the chapter just incase some of you won't know the lyrics

READER

“Eric?” I called out into the house as I stepped foot inside, two paper grocery bags in each arm. 

A quiet house always worried me because I was never sure what I would walk into. Whenever I went out without Eric, I made sure to constantly check the bind on my wrist to make sure it would still glow. My worst fear was the flow fading back to the pale red when I wasn’t with Eric. I knew it was inevitable especially with his sickness but there was this small sliver of hope inside of me that I clung to every day that we would be fine; Eric would be fine. 

Kicking off my shoes, I walked down the long hallway of our ranch style home towards our bedroom to notice the door was cracked and the soft sounds of the television echoed in the air. 

“Eric?” I spoke again, pushing open the door all of the way to see my husband laying in bed with a white fluff ball on his chest. 

“Ghost,” I sighed with my hands on my hips. “What did I tell you about laying on your dads chest? He can’t breathe with all your fluff on top of him?” 

Eric chuckled, which seemed to take a lot of strength, but he did his best to play it off. “It’s fine. It’s a little pet therapy.”

It had been a few weeks since we moved to Los Angeles and with the stress of the move and Eric’s rigorous chemotherapy, he felt like he needed some sense of comfort. So two days ago, we visited the local shelter and adopted Ghost. A two year old Maine Coon cat that left his fur on every possible surface. I never was a cat person but the moment I saw light return to Eric’s eyes the moment he held Ghost, I knew he needed the cat more than my dislike for them. 

Although, I’d never admit outloud how cute Ghost was. 

“I picked up some stuff for dinner. Are you hungry? I could make some soup,” I asked Eric after I laid in bed next to him. 

He left a weak kiss on my forehead. “I’m alright, my daisy. Don’t have much of an appetite.”

Even with his nickname for me, I frowned when I remembered how this morning's chemo took a lot out of Eric, hence why he’d been laid up in bed all day. While scratching Ghost’s chin, his favorite, I snuggled up closer to Eric and finally paid attention to what he’d been watching. 

“Flipping through Twitch channels again?” I couldn’t help but giggle. 

It was one of Eric’s favorite things to do. Watch other people live stream themselves playing video games. He used to do it years ago, before he got sick, and now that he didn’t have the energy to continue it Eric made the time to watch others. 

He nodded while wrapping an arm around me, tattooed fingers grazing up and down my arm. I did my best to cherish these moments because I wasn’t sure if it would end. 

It will end, Y/N. The doctors said-.

Forcing those thoughts away, I let time and silence pass between us as Eric clicked through different twitch channels, him casting it from his phone to the television above the fireplace in our bedroom. But when I saw a somewhat familiar face pop up on screen, I held a hand on Eric’s to stop him from changing it. 

“Wait. Isn’t that our neighbor?” I asked. 

The lines in Eric’s forehead creased as his ember eyes studied the screen for a moment. “Huh, it is. Noah Sebastian. He’s the one that’s in a band.” 

I gazed up at Eric with confusion etched on my brows. “How do you know that?” 

There was a smirk underneath his mustache. “I talk to the neighbors, Y/N.” 

Playfully rolling my eyes, I settled back into the bed so we could watch the live stream of our neighbors. Eric seemed fine to watch as well since Noah was playing one of his favorite games; Super Smash Bros. 

Besides the short conversation with Noah when we first moved in, I never spoke more than a few words to our neighbors. Besides the occasional hi or nice weather today. I wasn’t a very sociable person unlike Eric who always stopped to talk with anyone. Even with his sickness, he always found the time to go outside and talk with the neighbors. 

Noah was playing with someone I hadn’t recognized, only for Eric to tell me that it was one of Noah’s bandmates. 

“Nicholas,” Eric said. “He plays bass in the band. Nick plays the drums. They live in Virginia. The other roommate with the long hair and accent, Jolly, plays guitar.” 

I hummed during this little lesson about our neighbors. “I always wondered where Jolyl was from because of his accent.” 

“Sweden,” Eric informed. “Their band, Bad Omens, is about to release their second album. Which is why we hear music most of the day.” 

“What about the other two roommates? Jesse with the fruit and the other guy?” I asked. 

“Michael. They're in their own separate bands.” 

I nodded once the conversation seized and settled in again, watching the twitch stream. It was a calming vibe, even with Noah’s chaotic game play. When a loud crack sounded, Eric and I both broke out in laughter when Noah and Nicholas freaked out about a candle exploding on a shelf above his bed. 

“Oh shit, it’s on fire!” Noah bellowed while jumping onto his bed. “My whole shelf was on fire, dude!”

“How many people live in this house?” I asked when we watched a group of guys walk into Noah’s bedroom, him explaining what happened with the candle. 

Soft snores filled my ears causing me to glance up at Eric to see he’d fallen asleep, Ghost still on his chest. I left a kiss on this cheek and removed the beanie from his head so he could sleep comfortably. He used to have a head full of hair but since he started chemo, Eric shaved it off and wore the black beanie cap any chance he could. 

Reaching for his phone, I quickly followed Noah’s twitch channel and clicked off the television. 

“Are you hungry, Ghost?” I asked the feline as I rose from the bed, him following behind me with a harsh meow while we let Eric sleep the rest of the night away. 

NOAH

The sounds of the birds in the trees signing their soft songs brought a sense of peace and familiarity as I sat and lounged on one of the chairs in my backyard, browsing through my phone. The autumn winds blew through my hair and I reveled in how it brought a smile to my face. Summer came and went, taking with it the hot California heat and I could not be happier. I spent more time outside rather that in my bedroom because of it. 

Also for the off chance I caught sight of my neighbor. 

It had been almost a month since Y/N moved in. Since both her and Eric moved in. 

Her husband. 

Her soulmate. 

While I chatted with Eric a few times, I rarely spoke with Y/N besides the occasional pleasantries. Even though I found her to be attractive, I continued to tell myself not to let the feelings grow more than that. She was married, her red bind glowed bright along with Eric’s. They were meant for each other, I couldn’t interfere with that. 

It wasn’t what was laid out for my life nor Y/N’s. 

And I had to admit, Eric was a pretty cool guy. He seemed to have heard of not only Bad Omnes, but Chief and Erra as well. He used to be in a band when he was younger but had to step away a couple years ago. 

When they first moved in, we saw Eric outside quite a bit whether it was to work on the yard or write in a journal. Now, almost a month later, I’d seen Eric one or twice. 

Shifting in my seat, I let out a groan of annoyance when I received yet another text from whatever her name was. It didn’t seem to bother her all that much that I couldn’t remember her name because she’d been texting me nearly every day asking if we could meet up. Each and every time I would either come up with an excuse or ignore her. 

Maybe if I sent her a screenshot of her contact name, what’s her face, then she will get the hint. 

Was that mean? Of course. 

Did I care? Not entirely. 

A muttering slew of curses caught my attention and setting my phone down in my lap, I glanced towards my right over the fence line to see Y/N standing in her backyard. She wore a pair of biker shorts that showed off her long legs and an oversized shirt. Her hair was up in a very messy bun on top of her head. The entire outfit gave way that she was about to do some kind of yard work. 

Also the fact she was fighting with the lawn mower. 

“Stupid old piece of shit,” Y/N grumbled while kicking it. “You started fine for Eric two weeks ago. Why won’t you start now?” 

For a moment, I watched her try to start the lawn mower, all while sporting a shit eating grin. I wouldn’t admit it outloud but watching her struggle made my heart flutter. 

“Please just work for me,” she nearly whined while throwing her head back up to the sky. “I need one good thing to happen for me today. Please.” 

A slight frown pulled at my lips when I heard the sadness lace her voice so almost quickly, I rose to my feet and walked over towards the fenceline we shared. 

“Everything alright?” 

Y/N jumped at my voice, a hand over her heart as she peered over at me. The fence wasn’t high at all, coming to my waist so we were able to see over it perfectly fine. 

“Uh,” she hastily tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, sitting up straighter. “Yes. Well, no not really. But I don’t want to bother you. I can figure it out on my own.” 

My brow raised as I rested my arms on the top of the fence, leaning my top half over into her yard slightly. 

“Are you sure? I’ve heard you call that lawn mower quite a few choice names in the last few minutes.” 

Y/N’s shoulders fell and eventually she nodded. “The grass is slightly overgrown and I got a letter from the HOA this morning that if I don’t cut it by the end of the day, they’ll charge me fifty bucks a day until it’s cut!” 

I grimaced. “Yeah, they’re quite nasty with things like this. One time, we didn't bring in the garbage can because we were on the road so no one was home. It was out on the curb for three extra days and we got charged $100.” 

“Just a couple of middle aged women who aren’t getting any action from their husbands or their pool boys so they take it out on someone who doesn’t even have a working mower,” Y/N said. 

Both of us broke out in laughter, the mood between us lightening. It was weird how at ease I felt talking with her even though this was the most we've spoken since she moved in a month ago. 

Quickly, I dared a glance down to the pale red bind on my wrist before looking at hers which continued to glow bright. Showcasing her love for Eric. 

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I motioned towards her yard. “Do you usually cut the grass yourself?” 

Something flashed in Y/N’s eyes as she kept something buried deep inside of her. Her bottom lip twitched and the muscle in her jaw jumped but whatever plagued her mind she was quick to mask it with a forced smile. 

“Eric’s busy and back in the midwest we lived in a condo so we always had someone to do our yard work,” Y/N explained. 

I nodded with a hum before pushing off of the fence, taking off my sweater to reveal a tank top underneath. I didn’t miss the way her eyes widened at the sight of my tattoos, her gaze lingering on the one on my neck. 

“Woah,” she muttered under her breath but was fast to change up her suddenly aroused tone. “What are you doing?” 

Tossing my sweater over to the chair I was previously sitting on, I looked back at her with a smile. “I’m going to cut your grass for you.” 

Immediately Y/N shook her head. “No, Noah. I can’t have you do that. Our yard is quite big and the grass is overgrown. It will take you the rest of the afternoon.”

It was true. 

The grass reached her ankles and her yard was a tad bit bigger than ours. But that's all it was, just grass except for a small garden bed In the ground that seemed to grow one kind of flower. 

Daisies. 

“It’ll take me less than a few hours. We have one of those nice riding mowers. I just put on my headphones and make it go by faster,” I said. 

The way she bit her bottom lip in ponder made something twinge inside of me. She looked absolutely beautiful with the sun above her casting her in a golden aura. I marveled as it gave her a halo and as a certain word threatened to spill from my lips, I instead reminded myself that she was married to her soulmate. All I could be to her was her neighbor. Maybe even a friend. 

“Thank you, Noah,” she finally spoke and I could see the weight physically lift from her shoulders. “You don’t know how much this is going to help me. I’ll even pay you, as a thank you.” 

I waved her off. “Don’t even worry about it. All I ask for is an ice cold beer.” 

Now it was her turn to grimace. “Well, you won’t find that here. Eric and I don’t drink.” 

There was something underlying in the way she spoke about Eric but I dare not pry so instead I gave her another wide smile. 

“Lemonade works too.” 

“That I can do,” Y/N returned my smile. 

Two hours and three cups of lemonade later, I was standing in my bedroom freshly showered with a towel hanging low on my waist. I meant it when I said mowing Y/N’s yard was easy especially with our riding mower. She often came out to check on me but mostly stayed inside. As I was cutting the grass on the side of the house, passing their bedroom, I noticed Eric laying in bed. Anger rose inside of me for a moment when I thought he was being lazy, that's why he didn’t want to cut the grass. But when I saw the medication and bows of untouched soup on the table next to the bed, I realized he must have been sick with a cold, that’s why he couldn’t cut the grass. 

It was when I parked the mower back into my garage and I was shutting it behind me did Eric finally walk outside, gripping the posts of his front porch. 

“Thank you, Noah. It means a lot that you’ll help Y/N out when she needs it.” 

I ran a hand through my long locks, working out the knots it gathered from having it tied up in a bun. “Of course. Although, I will admit it was kind of funny watching her struggle and call your piece of shit mower names.” 

Eric laughed a hearty laugh albeit weak before giving me one more nod, heading back inside. 

NOAH

Groaning as I worked out the sore muscles from my earlier gym session, I stepped inside my bedroom after my shower and dropped my towel to step into a pair of briefs then sweats. It was just before six in the evening and I knew I needed to talk with Jolly at some point about the finishing plans for our two week tour we would be leaving on in a few weeks. 

It had been nearly a week since I cut Y/N’s grass and almost every night, we all found ourselves sitting outside for a few hours of the night chatting. Some nights we would hang out in their yard, Eric joining us as well, and other nights Y/N would venture over with a dish of whatever dinner she had cooked that night. Whenever she came by our place alone, we often asked where Eric was and it was always the same answer. 

He’s not feeling all that well. 

Tonight I had plans on streaming on twitch which meant we couldn’t enjoy the autumn nights outside together, which was something I needed. Because the more time I spent with her, the feelings began to grow stronger. Especially with what happened between us moments ago. 

When I returned from the gym, I stepped out of my car with my gym bag slung over my shoulder and only wore my work out shorts. The gym session had been intense and my body still ignited with heat so I decided not to wear a shirt on the drive home. Y/N had returned from a run and stopped at the end of my driveway when she caught sight of my shirtless form. She wore a simple sports bra that seemed to hug her breasts perfectly and tight shorts. The muscles of her stomach glistened with the sweat that lingered and the thought of grazing my tongue over her salty skin passed in my mind briefly. 

We stared at each other for a long moment, both of us not saying anything, as new tensions began to form between us. It was unknown to me so like I’d always done when I was around her, I looked at my bind on the off chance it was glowing. 

It wasn’t. 

So instead of dwelling on the disappointment again, I struck up a conversation with her. Wondering if she wouldn’t mind exchanging numbers because with the entire household leaving on their own respective tours in a few weeks, no one would be home and we were in need of someone to keep an eye on the place. 

Y/N agreed and after we exchanged numbers, she bid me a farewell with a tentative wave over her shoulder. I watched with blazing eyes on her perfect ass as she walked up the steps to her house, shutting the door behind her. 

Now I stood in my bedroom, the window open to let in the chill autumn air as I tried desperately not to text her because deep down, I knew it was a line I shouldn’t cross. 

Why was I so enamored with her? Why couldn’t I think of anyone else but her? 

It should have been easy to forget about Y/N in the way I had been thinking about her, yet here I was wondering what she was doing right at that moment.

A gruff meow pulled me from my thoughts and I snapped my head to the white ball of fluff that seemed to materialize at my feet. 

“What the fuck!” I cursed, nearly jumping onto my bed. 

I would have been more freaked out if I didn’t know who the cat belonged to. I’d seen him hanging out in the window sills next door and one night while we all hung out in Y/N’s back yard, he ventured out to lay in Eric’s lap. We found out that those two were bound at the hip and Y/N even joked that she was the third wheel in the marriage to Eric and his cat. 

“Ghost,” I sighed while picking him up into my arms. “How did you get over here?”

All he did was purr in response so after setting him on my bed, I had no choice but to text Y/N. 

“Was this all part of your master plan?” I teased the cat as he curled up on my pillow while I typed up a message. 

Me: Hey it’s Noah. Missing something? 

Attached to the text was a picture of Ghost curled up on my pillow. 

Y/N: Son of a bitch. I am so sorry, Noah! I don’t know how he keeps getting out. Jesse told me a few days ago he found Ghost sunbathing in your hammock. 

Me: Don’t apologize. We don’t mind his little visits. 

Me: I can bring him back home. I’m sure Eric is missing him. 

As I waited for her to respond, I busied myself with throwing a shirt on and setting up everything I needed for my twitch stream later, all the while Ghost slept soundly on my pillow. 

When my phone buzzed on my desk, I snatched it so fast it nearly slipped through my fingers. 

Y/N: No rush! Eric and I are actually headed out to dinner so we can scoop Ghost up after. If that’s alright? 

Even though my heart dropped at the image of Eric and Y/N going out together, I replied. 

Me: More than alright. Just text me when you’re on your way back and I’ll have him ready for you. 

Her texts seized after that so leaving my phone plugged into the charger on my end table, I was about to head to the kitchen to find something to eat when something through my bedroom window caught my eye. 

Directly across my bedroom window was Y/N’s and I stood frozen with wide eyes as I watched her step into her room with a towel wrapped around her. Her hair was wet, sticking to her face and back as she turned away from me; oblivious that I could see through her window. 

Before, Y/N would have her curtains closed, not allowing me a view inside. But for some reason today she had them pulled wide open. I stood frozen in time as she dropped the towel, showing me the swell of her ass. My cock throbbed in my shorts and as much as I wanted to ease away some of the tension with my palm, I couldn’t move. Time was suspended as I continued to stare at Y/N as she moved about her room naked. Her skin seemed to glimmer even with all of the distance between us and as much as I tried to ignore the way I was beginning to feel for it, it was futile. 

My heart pounded when she was near and far. My cock ached to know what her cunt felt like. My hands were desperate to feel the weight of her tits in them. My mouth craved to taste her own. 

Y/N was perfect in every single way. She was gorgeous as the aura followed her around the bedroom, outlining her with imaginative wings. 

“She’s married, Noah,” I groaned while running a hand over my face, forcing me to turn away from the window. 

With my eyes closed, I didn’t see the way the pale red bind around my wrist flashed gold; only for a moment. 

READER

“In the pounding feet, in the streets below, and the window breaks. And a woman falls, there's something wrong, it's so hard to believe that love will prevail,” my voice sang quietly as I stepped inside the house through the patio door. 

I had a bouquet of fresh daisies from the garden ready to prep and put in a vase, along with the other four spread out through the house. I absolutely loved daisies, them being my favorite flower. It was the bouquet of flowers Eric got me on our first date so they hold a sentimental place in my heart. Even though we didn’t have much of a garden here yet I knew I wanted to grow daisies. 

Once they were settled nicely in the vase, I dragged my tired feet down the hall towards my bedroom. The last few weeks had been so amazing and adventurous, it was beginning to creep up on me. Eric had been feeling great, nearly back to his old self. Well, not completely. The cancer was still spreading through him but the chemo seemed to be slowing the speed in which it spread. I wasn’t sure what exactly changed in Eric or where this surge of energy came from but I didn’t complain.

We started going out and exploring the town we lived in; going to farmers markets, walking along the beach at sunset, going to movies, grabbing dinner at a greasy diner that probably wasn’t healthy for either of us but we didn’t care. We both were happy, more in love than our wedding day. 

While I’d been outside tending the garden, Eric was out picking us up some dinner. I was hesitant to let him drive but he assured me that he was only going down the block to one of our favorite Greek spots. He would only be gone for twenty minutes. 

After I set the daisies on top of my dresser, I went about tidying up the bedroom. Just as I was about to pull the curtains shut, my eye caught sight of Noah across the way in his own bedroom. I could only see half of his bed and desk but with what I could see, he was sitting on the edge of his bed with a guitar in his lap. I couldn't see his face, only his fingers strumming along the strings. Both of our windows were open so I could hear his voice carry over into my bedroom as he sang. 

“If I’m there to catch you when you fall you'll have a friend down in hell after all.” 

Swallowing thickly, I yanked the curtain shut and sat on the chair at my vanity, trying to calm the heat that rose to my cheeks. I wasn’t sure what shifted between us in the last few months since I first moved in but it was nice having him, along with his roommates, as friends. I know Eric appreciated it too. Having a group of people that didn’t know about his cancer so they didn’t give him the usual looks of sympathy. 

Seeing Noah in his bedroom was the first time I’d seen him in weeks since he left for tour. I’d been listening to his band, Bad Omens, and while they weren’t the usual music I listened to, I still found myself transfixed with Noah’s voice. They only had two albums out and I was desperate for more. 

I couldn’t explain it but talking with Noah, I found myself falling deeper for him. Not in a romantic way but with a connection so deep it would be nearly impossible to break the farther along our friendship grew. 

The front door opened and I quickly rose to my feet, skipping down the hall to smile at Eric who not only had a bag of food in one hand but a rather large bouquet of flowers in the other. 

Not just any flowers but daisies. 

I giggled while taking them from him, allowing him to capture my lips in a kiss. “You do know we’re growing daisies outside, right?” 

He shrugged while setting down the food on our large kitchen counter and shrugged off his tan jacket to hang it on the back of the stool. 

“It’s not the same as buying one to surprise you with it,” Eric said with a wink. “Hungry?” 

I nodded. “Starved.” 

Once the new flowers were set in a vase in the middle of the kitchen counter, I sat with Eric as we ate. Every so often I caught him staring at me with a look of love in his eyes. Those dark orbs bled with his devotion to me. 

I wiped some food crumbs out of his mustache with a giggle. “You’re so in love with me you don’t realize you have food all over your face.” 

He kissed the inside of my palm once he captured it. “I love you, my daisy.” 

Every time he spoke his pet name for me it made my world spin, my heart leap into my throat, and warmth spread inside of my veins. I never felt a love like how I had with Eric. He was my everything and I would literally die for him. 

Not if he dies first.

Pushing away the harsh thought from my mind, I played with his glowing bind, trying to remember the good memories between us. I wouldn’t succumb to the darkness that lingered.

Eric was fine. 

He would be fine. 

We would be fine. 

When he went to clean up, I hastily pushed Eric’s hands away. “You rest. I’ll clean up.” 

Even though he’d been feeling stronger these last few weeks, I knew he wouldn’t say no to some rest. So as I cleaned up our mess from dinner, Eric looked through our rather large record collection before setting one in the player and soon an all too familiar song graced my ears. 

Oh, it won't rain all the time. The sky won't fall forever.

Looking over to Eric who stood in the middle of our living room with his arm outstretched towards me, he had a lazily smile on his face. He’d taken off the black beanie he always wore, showcasing his buzzed head. 

“Will you dance with me, my daisy? It’s our song,” he noted. 

I pulled at my dirty sweats and messy hair. “I’m not dressed for a dance, Eric.” 

“Are you kidding me?” His jaw fell agape, appalled that I would say something so insane. “You look absolutely breathtaking, Y/N. Even more so than on our wedding day.” 

Tears welled in my eyes when I saw the way his hands shook but didn’t want to ruin the mood. Eric was glowing with happiness and life. He hadn't wanted to dance in so long, especially to our song. I refused to deny him this. 

Linking our fingers together, I allowed him to pull me into his chest and I rested my cheek against it. His heartbeat was slow but erratic. I followed his lead like always as he swayed both of our bodies to the song. I let myself relax for the first time in so long, always worrying about if the chemotherapy would work, if Eric would survive, or if our binds would break away without me knowing. 

Eric must have sensed I was thinking those dark thoughts again because he gently lifted my chin up to him, laying a firm kiss to my lips. It was quick, almost too quick, and I didn’t want it to end. This was the first time in a while that we shared a kiss that wasn’t just a fast peck. I opened my mouth to let his tongue explore and I moaned into it, reveling in how he tasted. His scent engulfed my senses when my hands slipped up his chest to behind neck, locking them in place. 

I felt the hardness of his cock against my lower stomach so I broke away from the kiss for a moment, breathless. Ever since he started chemo, it was hard for Eric to get an erection. I spent most nights touching myself or using one of my toys, every so often he would watch. I tried to touch him, only for it to do nothing for him. He reassured me it wasn’t me, it was just the chemo. 

“Eric,” I sighed. “I don’t want to rush you.” 

He lifted me off the ground with a slight ease and I squealed while wrapping my legs around him. 

“What are you doing?” I asked when he started carrying us towards our bedroom. 

“It’s been too long, Y/N. I need to feel you again,” he said while kicking the door shut behind us. 

As much as we loved cuddle time with Ghost, we didn’t need him trying to sneak in at this moment. 

Laying me on the bed, Eric kissed me again with more force than the last one and I grazed my teeth over his bottom lip.

“Are you sure?” I asked after pulling away briefly. 

“Y/N,” he leaned closer to me. “You’re the only thing that matters to me right now. Please let me have this. I need this. I need you.” 

Without a second thought, I crashed my lips to his and pulled at his shirt, doing whatever I could to deepen the kiss. Breaking away from me, Eric began biting and sucking at the sweet spot of my neck, our movements becoming familiar with each other all over again. He remembered exactly where to touch or kiss that would set me off, in the most euphoric way. 

My name fell from his lips when I started to rut my hips into his, trying to scratch the itch that only he could scratch. As our clothes fell away and our bodies connected, his cock fitting inside of me like a glove, I etched the way he felt against me inside of my mind. 

Afterwards, with the sheet lazily thrown on top of me, I watched in bliss as Eric sat on the edge of the bed. His bare back tensed as he rested his elbows on his knees, taking a deep breath. The red marks that littered his skin were still visible thanks to my nails. 

“Are you alright?” I asked. 

He glanced over his shoulder at me with a fox smile. “Just tired. I can’t remember the last time I gave you three orgasms.” 

I winked. “It’s been awhile. I missed the way your tongue felt.”

Eric squeezed my ankle. “I’m going to get some water for us then we can maybe watch some twitch streams?” 

“I love how it has become our nightly routine,” I said with a small laugh. 

Every night, we would snuggle up in bed together to watch twitch streams; mostly Noah’s. I always found myself laughing at how unhinged he was, something Eric noticed but never saying anything. 

Eric rose from the bed with a groan but soon his large body collapsed to the floor with a thud, making me scream out in horror as I scrambled over to him. 

“ERIC!” I cried, kneeling in front of him. “Eric, baby. Are you alright?” 

He didn’t say anything and ice cold fear filled my veins when I realized his eyes were closed. 

“No, no, no. Please, no. Eric!” I sobbed now, letting out a wail when I laid a hand on his chest. 

NOAH

All I could feel was my body falling deeper and deeper, succumbing to the darkness that surrounded me. I couldn't breath, nails clawing at the skin of my throat as I tried to call out for help. 

Yet no one could hear me. 

There was nothing but inky blackness while my body continued to be thrown through whatever void I found myself in. I spun in the air over and over until I felt bile rise in my throat but did my best to keep it inside. If I threw up, the sheer intensity of the wind would cause it to smack me right in the face. 

A spark of color broke through the darkness and I let out a gasp, hands outstretched to reach for the red string. My fingertips brushed along the thread and I could almost taste the victory of being able to finally leave this void. Only for the string to wrap around me in quick loops. It began to tighten around me, forcing my arms to the side as I did what I could to fight against it. Seconds later, the red string snapped apart when a sudden weight sat on top of my chest, stealing whatever oxygen I had left in my lungs. 

Blinking my eyes rapidly, it took me a moment to realize that I had been dreaming and the weight I felt on my chest was not because of a red string, but because of a white fluffy cat whose blue eyes were staring into me. 

"Ghost," I groaned while rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "Does your mom know you're over here? Again?" 

The cat simply meowed in response before curling up against my neck. 

"I should probably bring you back to Y/N before she wonders where you ran off to this time," I mumbled, excitement filling my veins at the prospect of seeing Y/N. 

We’d found out there was a small enough hole in the shared fence line that Ghost would slip through to venture back and forth between the houses. At first, Jolly offered to fix the whole so Y/N and Eric didn’t have to worry about losing Ghost but Eric was quick to wave us off. He said he didn’t mind his cat coming for visits as long as we didn’t. Somehow in the span of a few weeks, all six of us ended up with shared custody of Ghost. Michael wasn’t too fond of the cat at first but took a little warming up before he didn’t mind waking up one morning to see the cat on our couch. 

Although, it had been awhile since we last saw Ghost. Y/N had mentioned that he was spending more time with Eric which was fine because it technically was his cat but I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss the cat. 

We’d just returned from our east coast tour a few days ago but due to the lack of sleep I had, I spent the time catching up on sleep because we were about to leave for Europe next week. Only this tour would be longer. We’d be gone for three weeks. Thankfully both Jesse and Michael would be home this time around so we didn’t need Y/N to keep an eye on the house for us. 

Y/N. 

I hadn’t seen or talked to Y/N since I arrived home a few days ago. She texted me once while I was on the road to tell me that she gathered all of our mail into a box and planned to give it to the first one of us she saw. 

While I was away, all I could think about was the memory of her naked, more so her ass. It plagued me like a disease, taunting me that I was unable to do anything about it. I had to watch from afar as she walked around her room naked. I wanted to be the one that was able to touch her. 

She’s married, you dumbass. Stop thinking of another man's wife naked!

“Alright, let’s get you home,” I sighed towards Ghost after motioning him to follow. 

When I stepped out of my bedroom, the sound of someone pounding on the front door shook the bones of the house and I appeared int he living room just in time to see Jesse rise from the couch. 

He’d been lounging on the couch with a bowl of pineapple chunks on his bare chest and his cat pajama pants, the one his girlfriend gifted him. 

“What the fuck is going on?” I asked as the pounding continued. 

Jesse shrugged while walking over to the front door. “Don’t know. Some chick has been yelling your name for the last few seconds.” 

Fuck, if it’s whats her name I might just jump off my roof. 

Ghost seemed unbothered by the banging on the door because he simply made himself at home at Jesse’s previous spot on the couch. When the front door opened, it felt as if the air was stolen from my lungs when I took in the sight of a broken Y/N; eyes red and puffy. Tears streamed down her face along with makeup and her hair was disheveled. I briefly saw red marks littering her neck but that wasn’t what had my attention currently. 

It was the bind on her wrist that was flickering. 

“Y/N,” I appeared next to Jesse. “What’s going on?” 

Her broken eyes bounced between us before settling on me. “It’s Eric! I-He-I can’t!” 

She blew out a shaky breath before grabbing my hand, leading me out of the house towards hers. 

tags: @artificialbreezy @blueskylinesx @dominuslunae @lobolocaamo @lilcrazy011 @badomensls @shayeanna-ashlie @supersquirrel1996 @missduffsblog @nicelittlenightmares @curse-bearing-hips @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @idontwantthemoney @heyyoplayer @amelia-acero @xmads-omensx @poisongirl616 @theanarchymuse95 @trvshdxddy @thisbicc @losingmyselfinthoughts @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @klutzy-kay24 @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @collidewiththesavannah @tosoundlessdarkistare @rumoured-whispers @dontwantthemoney @montgomery-929496 @respectfulrebel l @chaoticwineaunt @fadingangelwisp @english-fucker @99png @Koskeepsake @lunabuna991 @sorrowsofsilence

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)

Chapter 19

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

.................................................................

Jude had an extended Christmas break, but Jobe didn’t, so the family flew in to Sunderland on 24th and Jude joined in that evening. Jobe interrogated him extensively about what went down in Madrid. Denise & Mark were curious too but Denise’s emphatic guideline to Mark was to just let Jude be. He’d talk to them when he’s ready. 

Jobe texted Ananya, while she was on the way to the cabin.

Jobe:  😊

It was simple, but communicated a lot of things. Ananya smiled & responded immediately.

‘Merry Christmas Eve. Sorry for stealing your brother but I sent him back :)’

‘To you too. And thanks, but he’s yapping non-stop now, more than usual.’

‘Well, good luck with that.’

‘Yeah I’m mostly ignoring him & Dad. Mum’s completely ignoring them!'

Ananya smiled while trying to picture the scene.

‘Have a great Christmas, Jobe. See you soon!'

‘You too. See ya!’

Immediately after that, she received a text from Jude. He had texted her earlier when he had landed, and then when he reached home, which was 30 mins ago.

‘Wassup?’

‘On my way. You?’

‘Sitting by the tree. Will read the letters soon.’

‘Tonight?’

‘Yeah, we do it on Christmas Eve. The presents are also tonight, so to wake up happy on Christmas Day.’

‘Lovely. Have fun.’

‘You too. But not too much.’

She laughed out loud and Anna turned to look at her from the driver’s seat.

‘Will try. Bye now.’

‘Bye.’

The letters were lovely. The whole family was a little overwhelmed but Mark started to make some silly jokes about Jude’s handwriting, when Jude had expressly warned them not to, and Jobe joined in. Laughter & mock wrestles filled the room while Denise stayed perched up on the side, smiling at the 3 kids.

The presents were a long, long affair. Jude had gone well & truly overboard this time - wanted to celebrate the massive Madrid contract & everything else that had come his way this year with his family. Denise even admonished him a little for the overspending and Mark tried to figure out how he even managed that when all his accounts were under their supervision. Jude just smiled smugly, saying he had his ways.

They stayed in for dinner, preferring a cozy home-made meal by the fireplace. It was already 11 pm. Jude checked his phone. Her last message was at 8:30 pm, when she reached the cabin. His mind kept picturing what could be happening there, and if he had made the right call to nudge her to go. 

Nudge her? You practically threw her into his waiting arms.

Sometimes, Jude hated his mind for playing such cruel tricks. 

He needed to talk to her right now. Fuck maturity! Fuck pride!

Jude called. The phone kept ringing. He tried again. Same outcome. After 15 mins, when his mind was about to go into a full-blown overdrive (he was close to pinging Roma for Anna’s number), his phone flashed with a message from her.

‘Bad network here. Just saw you called?’

Well yeah he called. That’s how the calls got registered on her phone. 

Knowing fully well he couldn’t take that tone with her, Jude took two full rounds around his room before responding.

‘Yeah. Can we talk?’

He proceeded to stare at his screen for 1 full minute, then she called him.

‘Hey youuu.’

Jude could tell that tone from a million miles away. She was drunk. Bad idea, he needed her to be fully in her senses tonight. But, she was away celebrating with her friends and he couldn’t possibly hold that against her.

‘Having fun?’

‘Oh yeah. Just ate half a cake. Downed it with wine. In hindsight not a great call but hey.’

She was still using big proper words. Jude surmised she was more buzzed than drunk. Good, some respite!

‘Nice. What else is happening?’

‘Just eating & drinking & playing some music & a little bit of dancing.’

‘Nothing else?’

She smiled, getting his drift.

‘Nothing that I need to tell, like we discussed.’

‘About that, I changed my mind. Tell me everything.’

Not knowing was driving him up the wall. She knew he wouldn’t last long anyway.

‘Jude, we are just joking, bitching rather, about folks at work & some clients. Typical IB stuff.’

‘Hmm.’

She caught the annoyance in his tone. It was time to change the topic.

‘How did it go there? Your folks were surprised?’

That worked like a charm. He immediately dove into giving her a word by word description, forgetting what was on his mind earlier. His child-like enthusiasm on describing his presents just melted her heart. 

‘Well, you’ve got one more to go.’

‘This year, I’m waiting for that one the most.’

‘Soon. How was dinner?’

‘Food was great. But dad insisted to be in charge of plum pudding and it was a catastrophe. Proper disaster. Too runny. Like he’s a good cook don’t get me wrong. Had to learn when Mom came to live with me at Dortmund and he had to look after Jobe. But man, desserts are not his thing. Jobe nearly choked on it but Mom said we have to finish it without making a fuss.’

‘Awww.’

‘But I had a way to make it taste delicious.’

‘Yeah & what’s that?’

‘Are you alone?’

He knew it was an out of context question. But he didn’t want anyone (one person specifically) to see her flushed cheeks.

‘Ermm yeah.’

‘Well dove, I imagined eating it off your tits.’

She choked on the wine, and spilled it a little. He loved hearing her breathless gasp.

‘You…gosh you…’

‘Are they tingling?’

Well now they were. She had to put an arm around her chest to rein in the sensation.

‘GO AWAY.’

‘I love you too.’

This carried on for a few more minutes before he finally, begrudgingly, let her go back to her friends.

Ananya had to wash her face with cold water to recover from his assault on her senses. 

It was a fun evening/night. It had been a while since she had gone out with her work group. Thought different nationalities, they were all from the same world and talked about similar things. Relatable. It had been a gruelling 7 months at work since she joined, so it was nice to let loose with folks who went through the same rigour as her.

Drinks were flowing freely, and Ananya indulged too. But stopped when her head started to spin a little. She was the first one to retire to her room, around 1 am.

2 hours later, she woke up with her throat parched. Clearly had forgotten to have enough water. It was always tougher to do that with wine. Thankfully, she never really got hangovers but the buzz was still there. A fair bit.

She stepped out to find the kitchen. The whole cabin was quiet now, eerily so. The sound of rain splashing against the windows adding to the atmosphere. Holding the back of the furniture in her way, she quickly stumbled towards the kitchen. And found someone unexpected.

Arjun was standing there with his back to her, staring intently into the fridge. Dressed in night shorts. Like her. She almost turned on her heels to return but her throat was killing her.

He turned around, surprised to find her standing behind.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey.’

These were the first words they had spoken directly to each other all night. And in weeks.

‘Looking for water?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Seems like we drank it all. Nothing in the kitchen and the tap water has a weird smell.’

‘Oh.’

This was not good. Her body was threatening to revolt, desperately seeking some liquid.

‘Wait let me check our stash again.’

Arjun went into the living room, going through all the bags they brought. Ananya followed close behind, sitting on the edge of the couch. 

‘Christmas miracle.’

He emerged after 2 mins with half a bottle of juice and another one with some soda left in it, offering both to her. She took the juice, gladly. And he started gulping down the soda.

‘Thanks.’

‘No problem.’

They sat there for 30 seconds, not knowing where to look, or what to say to each other.

‘Well, this is awkward.’

Maybe it was the drinks that had lowered their inhibitions. Or maybe it was the situation. Or the fact that they were alone. But both looked at each other & burst out laughing at the same time. Which cut through the awkwardness. They laughed for a good full minute, finally settling down again.

‘How are you?’

It was a loaded question but she felt compelled to ask it. A nicer, kinder person should have asked that sooner.

His face suddenly turned sober.

‘Oh I’m ok. Yeah…I mean…all good.’

She cocked her head sideways & smiled, not believing it. He sighed in defeat, not wanting to look at her smiling face for too long.

‘As ok as I can be, I guess.’

‘I’m sorry Arjun, truly. For everything.’

‘Not your fault you love someone else.’

She cocked her head again, but in surprise this time. How did people seem to know this before she did?

Realising he was looking at her, she recovered quickly.

‘Yeah, but, I still am sorry.’

‘That’s coz you’re a good person.’

‘A good person would not have shunned you this way.’

There, she finally said it. This had been weighing on her since forever that it didn’t need to be this way. But she also kinda understood where Jude was coming from, so she had cut off Arjun completely since the proposal.

Arjun gazed at her sincerely. There were no prizes for guessing that her boyfriend was the reason she had cut him off.

‘I get it. Would have done the same in his place.’

She turned towards him, and he just shrugged. She shook her head in half exasperation.

‘Men!’

‘Men in love!’

She was a bit tongue-tied again. Coz last time he had used the word ‘feelings’ for her, not ‘love’ explicitly. 

‘So, he hates me then?’

Understatement of the century, as Jude had put it.

‘Well…’

She smiled and he laughed again. Almost falling from the couch. Clearly nowhere near sober. But she didn’t help him get back up, not crossing the line she had drawn in her head. The laughter subsided after a while and he looked at her sincerely again.

‘He’s a lucky guy.’

‘Thanks, but I think I’m the lucky one here.’

The fondness in her voice & the shining happiness in her eyes when she spoke of her boyfriend tugged at his heart. Suddenly he wanted to run out of there. This is what he deserved for sitting on his ass for months and not shooting his shot when he had the chance. 

Their drinks were nearly over & so was their limited time. He looked at her closely when she took the last sip and kept the bottle down, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

He didn’t wanna lose her completely. At least he could stay her friend. Wanting to end on a light note, he blurted something he never would have without the alcohol messing with his head.

‘So, you got a sister or something?’

‘What?’

It was her turn to laugh uncontrollably now, holding the arm of the couch.

‘Actually yeah. And she’s gonna be visiting soon.’

Ananya played along, still laughing. Funnily enough, her cousin would actually like him too.

‘Single?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Great. Maybe we could double-date then.’

She laughed harder. Jude was more likely to join Barca than to be on the same table as Arjun. Thankfully, Arjun just attributed it to her drunk state & laughed along. 

‘Well, good night. Merry Christmas to you Arjun.’

‘To you too, Ananya. Stay happy.’

‘You too.’

She turned around and Arjun saw her walk out of the room. And from his life. 

Ananya felt light after this conversation. Relieved. Less guilty maybe. Her thoughts went to Jude and she sent him a quick ‘Miss you baby’ message before conking off. Jude saw it at 5 am, in his semi-restless, nightmare-filled sleep. But slept a lot better after seeing it.

Of course when she told Jude the next day, he saw some sinister plot in this harmless conversation again. Which she laughed off, and he didn’t protest too much either. 

Next few days went by in a blur for Jude. Christmas with family was great as always, as was watching Jobe play. It always filled Jude with immense pride to see his brother grow into a force of his own. Then he had to hurry to Dubai for a few quick commitments, and also won the Globe Soccer Award for the best emerging player, which was a special moment for him & his family. No one had expected him to rise so quickly at Madrid but Jude relished the challenge & the responsibilities that came with it. His dad called it a proper ‘galactico’ mentality. 

On his last evening in Dubai, he woke up from his nap to see an alarming message from his girlfriend.

‘What are those photos?’

Panic hit in full force. Had something else come out about him while he was sleeping? He searched like a maniac for a full 5 minutes and also checked with his team but couldn’t find anything damning.

‘What photos?’

‘The dump you posted. What do you think you’re doing?’

‘I’m so confused rn, what are you saying?’

Jude checked what time it was. Was it jet lag or something?

‘You know fully well what I’m saying. Who gave you the right to look like that?’

Finally, he relaxed and leaned back against the bed, smiling giddily.

‘Look like what?’

‘Like a FUCKING GREEK GOD. A SUPERMODEL. Arghhh I wanted to bite you.’

‘Where?’

‘EVERYWHERE. So fucking edible’

‘I’m still in those blue shorts in case you were wondering. Wanna see?’

Jude sent her a quick selfie. Lying comfily in bed, in those barely there hiked up shorts, spreading his legs shamelessly for a better view.

‘What’s your fetish for tightest of tight shorts? It looked like it would rip any second.’

‘Maybe you want to rip it.’

‘I do.’

‘Why don’t you get like this when you are in touching distance of me?’

‘Don’t know, this is a first.’

‘I’ll give you a private show when you are back.’

‘Damn right you will. Especially that suit.’

‘Deal. And you’d wear something of my choice?’

‘Deal.’

‘Come back soon.’

‘I landed here 2 days ago, Jude.’

‘I know.’

He sunk into the pillows. She had to say her goodbye soon, since someone was at her door. It was the first time she had been away from home for so long so her folks were making a fuss around her. Jude knew she’d barely have any time for him next 10 days - between home and her college friend’s wedding.

It was time to return to Madrid tomorrow morning. Alone. His mom would follow in a few days, but he was going to have to be by himself till then. Even on New Year's Eve. 

Jude hated being alone. Not being around people he loved. It was the biggest thing that set him off. But he’d have to make do for a few days. He sulked in the car all the way through. Just when he had dragged himself out & entered his empty home, Agnes followed behind & handed over an envelope to him.

It said ‘Merry Christmas’ - in her handwriting.

She had planned something. There was a surprise waiting for him. All his annoyance was forgotten instantly. 

He jumped up & down then hugged Agnes wildly - the older man trying to keep his composure but smiling back at the display of young love. But when Jude tried to kiss him on the cheek, Agnes took his leave & left the giddy boy alone.

Jude ripped open the envelope and found a small piece of paper inside.

‘Did you really think I’d forget your Christmas present? 

Please remember who you’re dealing with here :)

Now, ready for your gift?

You’ll find it where we had our almost first kiss.’

Wait, so it was a treasure hunt?? His excitement went through the roof. He absolutely loved these little games.

Jude read the text again. Almost first kiss. What did that mean? Their proper first kiss was on her dining table, in her apartment. But he wanted to kiss her in the cafe too. And in the stadium. 

He read it again. Almost should mean where both wanted to kiss, right? He dug his fingers into his head, as if trying to stimulate the blood flow there, replaying the events of their first date. Was it the car ride on the way over, when they had held hands for the first time? No, she was still guarded then. The first time she had let her guard down was later that night….perched up on the kitchen counter.

Surely, that must be it. He ran into the kitchen, looking all around. There was nothing on the counter. He opened a few cabinets. Nothing. 

Think Jude. Think.

Wine. They were having wine then. The wine fridge was not in the kitchen though, so that couldn’t be it. Maybe the glasses? He bent down to open the compartment below the counter, and jumped at the first attempt.

A carefully wrapped package. 

He sat on the counter, tore through the wrapper quickly and found a scrapbook inside. There was a note on Page 1.

‘Special player. Special club. Special debut. Special memories.’

He flipped the page and gasped when he realised what he was looking at. The scrapbook contained clips & images of all the key moments in his life over the last 7 months. Each page dedicated to a particular instance.

When the news first broke of his transfer. 

When he signed the contract with Real Madrid. Photos with Perez and his family on the pitch.

His first interview with RMTV on his presentation.

His first training session.

His first match.

His first goal.

His first press conference.

His first brace.

His first MOTM.

How he first did his celebration with the fans.

When the fans first sang ‘Hey Jude.’

When the whole stadium joined him in his celebration.

His first Champions League goal.

His first Clasico & first Clasico goal. (A heart drawn at the bottom of the page because this had also been the day of their first date.)

When his debut season was hailed Ronaldo-esque. 

When his friends from Birmingham came over to the Bernabeu.

When he won the golden ball.

When Vini did the photo clicking celebration with him.

Some images of just his bromance moments with his team-mates. (A few question marks drawn at the bottom, along with an inquisitive emoticon).

His mum in the stands, cheering for him.

The penalty he won for England.

When he won MOTM in England shirt.

Some other photos from the England camp.

Jobe’s presentation at Sunderland.

The last image was from the last match before the break - with Jobe cheering for him in the stands.

Carefully curated by someone who truly understood what mattered to him - not just the professional milestones but the fact that he was able to celebrate those with his loved ones. That’s what made it more special. The images of how proud/emotional his mum looked, how his Dad had that big smile on his face, how Jobe seemed to be a bit in awe of the Bernabeu, how his friends screamed from the stands when he scored. Special, special memories.

He flipped through the pages one more time, reliving each moment. It still felt surreal. Almost unreal. Somewhere along the way his eyes had turned moist and he felt more homesick than ever. Gosh, what he wouldn’t give right now to fall into the arms of his folks.

Everyone close to his heart was captured in this scrapbook. Barring one person. The one he wanted the most right now. Jude hugged the scrapbook close to his chest, hugging himself in the process.

He flipped to the last page, thinking it was the end. But she was determined to make his day some more.

Jude squealed again when he saw the message on the last page.

‘Did you think this was it?

Nah, not on my watch!

There’s something else waiting for you. But can you find it?

Hint: Think of the first night I spent at yours.’

Holy mother of god! He had the coolest girlfriend in the world. 

Jude ran up the stairs, two steps in one stride, into his room. And started thinking of where it could be. Just then it clicked - she had stayed in the guest room the first few times, not here. In the next 5 seconds, he was standing in the middle of that room, looking around. 

He hadn’t entered the room that night, so there can’t be a special place she would be referring to. It would be somewhere generic. He started going through the cupboard and the drawers, finally finding his prize in the bedside table.

It was another cutely wrapped package, a smaller one this time. Inside was a tiny scrapbook.

He almost couldn’t believe what was happening. A part of him wanted to pause & guess the contents, but he quickly turned impatient and opened it swiftly.

‘A little something about us.

Thank you for making me believe in love again.

Your dove!’

Overwhelmed, he caressed the text with his fingertips, the words tugging at his heart. Then he leaned down and kissed the page, trying to picture her.

Bracing himself for the emotional rollercoaster, he flipped the first page. It was filled with pictures - a little ode to their brief journey so far.

Bill from their first cafe meeting.

Screenshot of their text messages from that night, when he convinced her to come to the game. It was the first time he had called her dove.

A picture of his she had taken from his box, when he was celebrating his Clasico goal. (It was the first time he was seeing this one.)

The attire she was wearing on their first date - Madrid jersey (not his; how he had sulked over it) and denim jeans.

Their texts from that night, when he had pinged her from the Clasico celebration party.

His jacket that he had left in her house - after their first kiss.

A screenshot when he face-timed her from an away game, and kissed the screen while saying goodbye.

Flowers he sent her every week. Not a single one was missing.

A random pic of Bridgerton, the show they were watching when things got a bit heated on their second date.

Different images of his she had taken while watching his matches on TV.

His jersey in her size - symbolic of their first catastrophic fight and also their first time together.

Random memes he had sent her, when he was bored.

A cup of hot chocolate - when he came to her after a tough match or a tough day at work & she cheered him up. 

A drawer in her bedroom - where he kept his stuff.

A goofy photo of him, Ananya and Roma, sometime after dinner on one of the nights in her place.

The crystal pendant he had bought for her.

The famous letter.

And of course, the last page had the heart pendant.

Jude felt like his heart would explode any second. All this while, he thought he was the more expressive one. He was more invested in their relationship. He had poured his heart out to her many times, with paras and paras about what she meant to him.

But she had eclipsed all that with the sentimentality of this gift. And the thoughtfulness to keep the two separate. The first scrapbook he could share with anyone and relive those memories. Because he would want to, she knew that. 

And the second one was only for them. Just him & her. His dove. A piece of his heart that was far away from him right now.

Jude felt like he would die or burst into tears if he doesn’t see her immediately. He video-called her and she picked up soon, smiling from ear to ear.

Of course, Agnes would have told her things had been set in motion. 

But her smile faded when she saw his emotional face.

‘Oh baby, what’s wrong?’

‘You’re not here.’

‘I know. That’s why I left a little something for you.’

‘I loved it.’

‘Yayyy.’

‘I don’t deserve you, dove. You’re too good for me.’

‘Not true.’

‘It is. I know it is. Gosh I’m so lucky.’

‘I’m the lucky one.’

‘I-I don’t know what to do with myself right now. It was so beautiful. So thoughtful. So full of love. Just like you. Come back to me, please.’

‘Soon. Soon, Jude.’

‘Well what do I do right now? Who do I hug? There’s NO ONE.’

‘Vini & Cama live close to you, no? Trent is far away but those two are just there.’

She smiled & winked to lighten the mood with a running joke of theirs. Despite the heaviness in his chest, he ended up giggling too.

‘Stop it.’

‘Did you notice the VERY SPECIFIC section dedicated to your boyfriends?’

‘I did actually. You missed a few though.’

‘Ooh my bad. Will add those admirers of yours too.’

‘Come closer to the screen.’

‘What?’

‘Just do it.’

She did. And he proceeded to sloppily kiss his screen all over, where her face was there. She laughed, the sound uplifting his spirits.

‘Yikes you & your wet kisses.’

‘Shut up you love those.’

‘Mehhh.’

‘How’s it going there?’

‘Lovely. I missed home so so much. Everyone is here right now, which is why I’m whispering, thanks for asking.’

‘I figured, didn’t need to ask. So, did you tell your cousin about us?’

‘Yeah.’

She was looking everywhere but at him. And Jude’s face fell a little.

‘Didn’t go well, then?’

‘Went horribly. She is seriously worried for my sanity.’

‘I see.’

‘Jude, all she knows about you is what she’s seen on the internet. All the articles, images, stories, what people have said etc etc - she googled the hell out of you after I told her. Then told me I’d lost my mind. Obviously it wasn’t gonna be easy in the first go. It’ll take time. I’ve told her my side of the story. But we have to be super patient here. It’ll take a while for the idea of you to grow on her. And on anyone here.’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘But it doesn’t matter. Coz we have all the time in the world, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

‘C’mon don’t be like that. It’s New Year's Eve tomorrow. What plans?’

‘Training.’

She rolled her eyes.

‘I mean after training, Jude.’

He shrugged.

‘Your team-mates not partying?’

‘They are, but I can’t go to that one.’

‘Why?’

‘Let’s just say you wouldn’t particularly approve of that kind of party.’

‘I see. But can you just go for a bit and I don’t know, not indulge?’

He raised an eyebrow at her.

‘Or not participate. Whatever. You know what I mean.’

‘There will be questions if I don’t “participate” there.’

‘Because you used to earlier?’

A small pause.

‘Yes.’

Well, he had never made any bones about his lifestyle earlier. Didn’t think he was in the wrong in any way, coz he was single. Her view on it was different and it was a point of contention between them that they just had to live with. 

‘What about non-single folks then? Brahim, Fede, Lunin? You’re close to all of them.’

‘They’d be with their partners.’

‘Yeah so? You’ve hung out with friends & their partners before.’

He shrugged and pouted.

‘It’d make me miss you more.’

‘Are you trying to make me feel guilty?’

‘You abandoned me on New Years. So.’

‘Juude.’

‘Fiiine I’ll plan something with some of those guys. Jeez.’

‘Good boy.’

He stuck out his tongue at her, and she smiled.

‘Baby boy.’

‘Whatever. You really, really have to make it up to me when you get back. Like seriously.’

‘I think you deserve it.’

‘Damn well I do. When do the wedding functions start?’

‘One was last night. The rest are from tomorrow afternoon.’

‘Saw him?’

‘Yeah he was there.’

‘How did it go?’

Truth be told, she was pretending to be ok about this meeting but she had actually been super nervous. Keeping her emotions in check when it came to her ex had never been a strength of hers. It had always proved to be her undoing, which is why she had chosen to completely cut off.

‘It was awkward. We just greeted each other & went our own ways. Honestly, didn’t feel much last night. Or even now.’

‘Hmmm.’

‘You know why?’

‘Why?’

‘Because the person I am with you - I like that person more than what I had become with him.’

‘Mwah.’

‘Mwah to you too.’

‘I need to see all the pictures from all the functions - of you dressed up.’

The one she had sent last night was from the cocktail party but the traditional functions will begin from tomorrow. Jude was super excited to see her in multiple ethnic attires.

‘That was the deal.’

‘It was.’

‘Baby, I have to go now.’

‘I know.’

He said in a deflated tone.

‘I’ll call whenever I manage to sneak away for a bit. Just a bit mad here.’

‘I get it. It’s fine.’

‘I’ll miss you.’

‘I’ll miss you more.’

‘I’ll be back with you in no time. And your mum is coming in two days.’

‘Yup.’

‘Happy New Year in advance. It’s gonna be a special year.’

‘Our special year.’

‘Our special year.’

‘Bye, love.’

‘Bye, Jude!’

…………………………………………………….

Happy New Year, folks!

Hope you like this one. As always, would love to hear your comments / thoughts / messages. Thank you for all the love to Jude & Ananya!

One final chapter to go. There will be time jumps in that one.

[oceansarepink]

Stolas: Octaviaaa!

Via: dad what the hell? Is this seriously happening? Why are you here?

Stolas: you knew what you were doing when you liked your mother’s sInstagram post on the beach with her friends!! You KNOW how hard it is for me to make friends because of my enormous brilliant mind and my romantic, generous heart!!

Via: It was a good picture!

Stolas: Every month you get five likes on my sInstagram account, and five on your mothers account, you heard what judge vagina mandated!

Frat boy: Hey man sorry to interrupt, are you stolas Goetia? Wow. Great to meet you, just wanted to say, you got majorly screwed over by those damn fire toads.

Stolas: Yeah?

Frat boy: Yeah dude! Your knight dumping you in public like that for being “used” by you? He must have been brainwashed by commies! You were just fulfilling your needs. Parrot boy was giving you the eye. And word on the street is, that mouthy imp liked being your toy, hes just too mental to admit it. Filthy labourers, can’t see real honest love when it’s right in front of em. Only transactions and meal tickets. It’s not your fault. Not to mention your harpy wife and spoiled brat daughter, they totally deserved to be taught a lesson. Blue blood doesn’t have to mean blue balls right?

Stolas: Erm…

Frat boy: Nowadays society is all “consent this, monarchy that, hierarchy is bad, imps deserve rights” Pfft. Try taking that up with the people who BUILT our society. We should be THANKING the Goetia. It’s not like you asked to be born a man, gay, and whi—uh I mean, and a prince of the Goetia. Real imps like to serve, it’s what they were made for!

Stolas: Finally, someone with sense! Blitzy kept whining about getting “looked down on”, like im this prince who thinks he’s superior. Honestly he was starting to sound like some type of socialist or-or violent abolitionist lunatic. Well, strike me down just for knowing basic biology and the natural order. Would I fuck imps if I was racist? No. I don’t even know where all this talk of me being “racist” comes from, im literally gay!

Octavia: Dad you’re ruining my fucking life!

Dialogue from Bojack horseman: Horny Unicorn

[discordiansamba]

thinking about spirit bridge au zuko introducing toph as his daughter without blinking. he did adopt her, after all and he has ever plan to make it official. this is his daughter, toph. toph realizes how funny this is and just unabashedly starts calling him dad, but only when it's funny. yeah, this is my dad, prince zuko of the fire nation.

zuko: do I need to fight your dad for custody rights?

toph: no, but you should. it would be funny.

(iroh looks up. he doesn't know what his uncle is up to, but he senses the urgent need to intervene before he causes an international incident.)

[yourdailykitsch]

Taylor Kitsch Was Sleeping on the Subway Before He Was Cast in 'Friday Night Lights'

Taylor Kitsch, 43, is a Canadian actor best known for his roles in "Friday Night Lights," "Savages" and "American Assassin." He stars in the Netflix Western miniseries "American Primeval," which starts Jan. 9.

Beginning in the fourth grade, I loved talking in front of my grade-school classes. We had public-speaking contests, and I'd get up and tell improvised fictional stories.

Some kids spoke about penguins or polar bears, but I made up funny stories about nightmares. Classes often voted for me as their favorite, sending me on to compete on the assembly stage. If the audience there voted for me, too, off I'd go to compete against other schools.

I was a class clown, always trying to make people laugh. While I had zero interest in drama in school, public speaking planted a seed for acting years later.

My family first lived in Kelowna, British Columbia, but I don't remember much about it. My parents divorced when I was 1. My father, Drew, had been a race-car driver and then worked in Guyana diamond mines before going into construction.

Following my parents' separation, my two older brothers - Brody and Daman - and I lived with my mother, Sue. When I was 5, we moved to Anmore, a rural area north of Vancouver. My mom held a few jobs to pay the bills.

Three years later, my mother had a serious boyfriend, Peter, who was older than her. We moved into a double-wide, ugly blue mobile home with four bedrooms in a trailer park.

The surrounding area was forested, so I often played in the woods with my best friend, Paddy. All those trees and quiet provided me with a sense of calm and wonderment. The woods were an adventure and an escape.

Peter was a gentle soul and taught me to play soccer. When I was 12, he and my mom split up. I was a mess, angry, and not totally understanding. I was emotional when Peter and I had to say goodbye.

I insisted my mom drive me a half-hour to his house so I could spend weekends there. This continued for several months until I was told he'd died.

Peter was a big guy and incredibly athletic. He never yelled, and he taught me it was acceptable for guys to express their feelings. That was a huge help. As a kid, I was so freaking insecure. I didn't know where to put my energy when I felt things.

In high school, I was good in subjects I liked - English and history. The rest was a mystery. At the University of Lethbridge in Albert, someone told me to major in finance. I took a semester of macroeconomics, which was ridiculous for me.

After a year, I left. I was lost. I'd hoped hockey would be my ticket, but an injury at age 20 ended that dream.

Then my mom tricked me into meeting a modeling agent in Vancouver. He sent my pictures to IMG Models in New York. They signed me, and I moved there in 2002. While acting wasn't part of my grand plan, it seemed like a logical offshoot.

I took classes, but I was super cocky at first, which angered my acting coach, Sheila Gray. She kicked me out of class, and said, "Come back when you're ready to listen and study." That was the nudge I needed.

I returned to Sheila a few weeks later and dug in. My passion for acting grew as I uncovered my love of a challenge, leading to self-discovery and belonging. That's when I realized acting was more than just a craft. It was a career.

Most helpful were sheila's classes on improv and scene study. Chris Forberg, my friend and modeling agent who knew I was studying, saw that I'd stuck with it and thought I would make a better actor than model. He offered to introduce me to a few acting managers, and that's how I found Stephanie Simon, who is still my manager.

Though Sheila let me take classes for free, I didn't have a visa so I couldn't work. I lived on friends' couches, slept on the subway and coached clients on nutrition for cash.

Eventually, I went to Barbados and worked construction with my dad for nearly two months before returning to Vancouver. I bought a small car and drove to Los Angeles but had to live in the car. I soon returned to Vancouver again.

In 2005 I auditioned on tape for the TV series "Friday Night Lights" and was cast. The studio got me a visa to work in Austin, Texas, where the series was shot. That was my big break.

Today, I live in a wood-and-steel contemporary house in Bozeman, Mont. I also have a 22-acre property outside of town on top of a mountain that I'm developing into a foundation and a drug-and-alcohol healing retreat for veterans and kids.

Three months ago, one of my brothers was on Facebook and came across a photo of Peter at his 93rd birthday. I was shocked. Just before Christmas, we paid him a surprise visit and stayed for two hours. He was grateful. I left him a card thanking him for his influence on me. And for teaching me about kindness.

Taylor's Hike

"American Primeval"? I play a weathered loner who helps a woman and her son fleeing their past cross the violent West in 1857.

Your dad and mom? He passed last year. My mom lives outside of Vancouver.

Fireplace? It's a long, contemporary, black steel gas model. I turn it on every morning when I have my coffee.

Home splurge? I recently bought a nice Breville Barista coffee machine.

Bozeman too chill? If you're bored up here, it's your fault. I just went on a 7-mile waterfall hike. It helped clear my head after a long stretch on set.

[adickaboutspoons]

The thing with Mother Teach is that it's SO interesting & layered, because it IS her trying to temper his expectations as a way of protecting him from a society that WILL punish a brown boy for aspiring above his "God-sanctioned station" in life, but that doesn't mean that it's not abusive. She is perpetuating the religious abuse inflicted upon her by unquestioningly accepting her assigned-by-providence caste & indoctrinating her son to believe the same. Yes, things sure do SEEM unfair, but we aren't allowed to question it, because the people in charge of disseminating the Word of God (who almost certainly also happen to be white & part of the colonial power structure) said it's right, & therefore we just have to accept that we're wrong to suppose it's not. It's using religion as a cudgel to keep people in their place, & discourage both social mobility & reasonable questioning of the status quo (&, considering that we know that Grown Ed HAS accrued the wealth his mother claimed was not for people like them & yet is still barred from the social position that should accompany it, the show gives us a beautifully subtle critique of this iteration of what is essentially the prosperity gospel). I just feel like fandom would do well to come to terms with the fact that a parent can do their very best, try to protect their child, & still be abusive. (I'm going to go a little further & throw Nana under the religious abuse bus & say her portrayal, & Ed's mom, present a more nuanced & realistic take on the abuser than the unrelenting monsters that were Ed & Stede's dads. They're complicated; loving & supportive (as long as you're Acting Correctly), often coming across to outsiders as likable & sympathetic, thus it's not immediately obvious what total shitstains they also are & what devastation they have wreaked upon their child's sense of self-worth). In re: point 3, the princessification babygirlifying of Ed has long troubled me, because it sands away &/or ignores the less acceptable parts of his personality in order to make him sufficiently demure to be palatable. Yes, he fancies a fine fabric, but he ALSO enjoys a good maim. He was visibly excited about the prospect of hobnobbing with posh knobs, but also clearly had a blast with Calico Jack's macho bullshit. It's not an either-or prospect. Focusing on one to the exclusion of the other is detrimental to the complexity & depth of his character (I'm looking at you, DJenks, & your "Ed is a soft uwu baby who can't be arsed to do any of the hard work it takes to actually run an inn" fic. While we're on the topic, I don't love how babygirlifying Ed not only perpetuates racist ideas that a MOC needs to be made completely nonthreatening to be lovable, but the princessification also perpetuates racist stereotypes of lazy POC who need a Strong (White) Hand to keep them in line). I also don't love the "Ed wearing the depression robe/painting himself as a bride is canon confirmation of his preferred gender presentation/he is canonically trans" take. Quite aside from the insipidity of the position that Ed painting himself as a bride = Ed literally wants to be a bride (OP's Doylist breakdown above is god-tier, but even from a Watsonian perspective, it's not like he had another groom doll to paint. FFS, did you expect him to whittle it down until his dolly had trousers too?), the idea that Ed wearing the depression robe is him dabbling in feminine presentation is troubling. Multiple times in S1 Stede is called a woman when he's wearing his robes, & we're ALWAYS meant to understand the person saying it was 1) wrong, & 2) a fucking bully gatekeeping the standard of masculinity. So if Stede can wear the exact same robe & we're still meant to understand him as Sufficiently Masculine, why would we be meant to understand Ed as Feminine? Are you not aligning yourself with the asshole bullies who derided Stede by thinking as much? What is different about Ed that makes him in the robe Feminine?

an incomplete list of terrible but extremely popular Our Flag Means Death takes that I would like to never see again please

(and I do mean popular, as in, lots of people seem to think they're canon, to the point where I feel slightly insane and like I was watching a different show to everyone else)

1. Ed's mum was loving and nice and supportive, if hampered by her bad situation

this comes up more in fic than analysis, to be fair, but good god, what show were some of you watching? this isn't to vilify her, because yeah, she's clearly a product of colonialism, white christian supremacy, and domestic abuse, but like. that doesn't make how she raised Ed good. clearly she was trying to keep him safe, but "we don't deserve nice things", and especially "it's not up to us, it's up to god", speaks to me of someone who squashes down any ambition on her son's part, has fully bought into the lies of christian colonialism, and tries to pass them down to her son.

as does happen in colonised communities, particularly among older generations. I know us white people like to think that every indigenous person is a perfect left-wing anti-imperial activist, but that's simply not the case, and Ed's mum is so clearly an example of an older conservative christian indigenous parent who had to believe the lies told by their coloniser in order to survive, but is now passing on that trauma to their children. and I just...

if I read one more fic where Ed's mum is a perfect loving supportive angel who always believed in her kid and always supported and protected him, I'm gonna scream. yes, it's sweet, and it's fun to sometimes veer from canon and give your blorbo nice things, but it's still veering from canon. and yet, I see very few people acknowledge that, or actually talk about the nuances of Ed's mother, and how she definitely tried to protect him, but was far from sweet, doting, and unconditionally supportive.

2. Ed's loving look when Stede is picking food from his beard in 1x07

like most of these things, I enjoyed it as a joke or exaggeration at first, until I realised that people were actually being serious. but every time I watch that scene, I see Ed looking absently-mindedly over Stede's shoulder, because a) that's what you do when someone leans in to pick something off you, and b) surely the point of the scene is that they're so comfortable and easy together that they don't notice the intimacy of what they're doing, but Lucius, an outside observer, thinks it's obvious. right?? I can't be the only one seeing it???

[sigh]

anyway. finally, the really really big one:

3. Ed is a soft uwu babygirl princess femme bottom sub who loves her cat collar and is teaching Stede how to dom him in the "say you're the captain" scene

I mean, there's not much to say except to link to duke's absolutely phenomenal twitter thread about "how the 'babygirlfication' and infantilization of ofmd ed teach is an extension of racist perceptions of indigenous men being inherently violent and thus needing to be emasculated to be considered sympathetic"

but especially That One Fucking Scene, good lord. talk about taking shit out of context. everyone looked at a slowed-down gif of one shot in the trailer and cried "babygirl!! he's such a simp, he just wants to be dommed!!", when actually that scene is about how a) Stede is cringefail and terrible at being a typical harsh, commanding pirate, and b) Ed is lovingly embarrassed by this. he encourages Stede to assert himself (and give Ed something to do during his probation/help him make amends with the crew), but like. normally. he's acting perfectly normal in that scene, and mostly annoyed by the outfit and embarrassed by how badly Stede fails. but just because he's sitting down while Stede is standing, and he happens to take a breath in that one shot (because, you know, people breathe sometimes), everyone's doubled down on their "submissive babygirl" bullshit, and I can't get the fuck away from it.

which - listen, it's fun for me, too! it's fun to explore exaggerated aspects of a character, it's fun to read/write/draw that angle in smut, I get it! but I keep seeing people keep claim it's literally canon, and I cannot stress enough that that is Straight Up False. for the love of god, please just watch the show without your (potentially kinda racist) bias glasses on, and remember to treat the characters with respect instead of projecting onto their every interaction a shallow dom/sub binary just because you find it hot.

Our Flag is a show very specifically about masculinity, and what it means to be a man; how assumptions about that can harm and restrict men; and how men can grow beyond them. it's a nuanced and sympathetic examination of this. the whole point is that Ed is allowed to like nice fabrics and be tired of violent piracy and still be a man. the point is that two men fall in love - equal, honest, sincere love - and are still men, still exactly who they are.

(on that note, insisting that Ed is canonically trans or femme because of these things often ends up just leaning into gendered stereotypes: men are harsh and active and dominant, and women are soft and passive and submissive, and if Ed's not the former, he must be the latter, right? it also tends to hetero-ify the central relationship, casting Stede as "the boy" and Ed as "the girl", needing one to be masc and one femme. not always, and again, I understand and have enjoyed transformative works that take those elements and run with them, and explore what the story could be like if Ed were trans/nb/etc - but it's still a transformative interpretation. it's not canon.)

relatedly: those fucking wedding toppers! it seemed blatantly obvious to me that half the point of those scenes was that Ed is distraught and blaming himself for Stede leaving because he wasn't the ideal partner. it's his entire arc for the first half of season 2! Ed hates himself and believes there's something wrong about him that makes him unlovable. so he keeps and then discards the wedding toppers, painting himself onto one of them, because he's projecting himself onto an image of ideal/successful romantic love that he thinks Stede wants, and in which he doesn't fit. he's trying to mould himself into someone else to make himself lovable, not realising that Stede already loves him for himself.

so it's important to the whole narrative that Ed's yearning for/projection onto the wedding toppers is false, and born from his insecurity. he gets drunk, and play-acts a stereotypical image of romantic happiness into which he doesn't fit, but real love looks nothing like that, because real love isn't found in stifling hegemonic cultural structures, but honest, emotional connections between people allowed to be their whole, vulnerable selves. Stede is not like the groom, and Ed is not like the bride, because they shouldn't have to be. Ed should not (and does not) have to warp himself into a demure bride in order to be worthy of love: he's already lovable and loved exactly as he is! that's the point!! of the scene!!!!!!

like, it's important that the groom figure isn't actually like Stede, either. yes, it's blond and has a nice, peach-coloured suit, but a) Stede was very specifically unhappy in the posh, heterosexual, married state the figures represent, and b) Stede by this point looks nothing like that figurine. it's directly contrasted with the image of him in the rowboat, scruffy and plain and earnestly in love, rather than fancy, cold ceramic.

[EDIT 29/12/24: I ended up writing a whole Twitter essay about the wedding cake toppers that I then gussied up for Tumblr; so if you want a clearer, more substantial, and better supported argument about those, check that out!]

but no, I have to wade through swathes of art and fic and meta about how badly Ed wants to be a sweet little demure kitty princess, how he wants a wedding night and a ring to prove he's Stede's property, and acting as if this is somehow canon, because people on the internet have zero reading comprehension and are scared of brown men.

the whole point of Our Flag is that you don't need to compress yourself into prescribed social roles, and in fact, doing so will only make you miserable; and that racist, patriarchal, colonial institutions should be resisted and dismantled at every opportunity.

so tell me again why the ultimate message is that Ed and Stede should get married under an arch in front of an altar and their lined-up friends, with flowers and rice falling around them, all dressed in white, one in a suit and one in a dress, with rings and a kiss and a honeymoon after, before they move into a detached house with a yard and a fence and re-adopt the kids that Stede abandoned? and this isn't about promises, fidelity, or even monogamy - I'm specifically talking about everyone in this fandom who seems to think that the ultimate goal is the most stereotypical 20th century cisheteropatriarchal christian wedding, but with the name "matelotage" slapped on top, as if that takes away all of the underlying baggage.

just - I know we're all meant to hate men and masculinity and yadda yadda yadda, but actually, to be earnest for a second, men deserve respect too, because all people and all genders do. and two men are allowed to be in a relationship and still both be men - complex men, with their own, layered relationships to their gender - without having to fall into neatly-arranged dom/sub masc/femme roles, or seal the deal with a hegemonically-approved ceremony.

so please, stop reducing an indigenous lead character to a caricature of a femme uwu princess bottom just because he has long hair, wore a robe once, and you're too scared of brown men to imagine him with proper agency. and then please, for the love of god, stop claiming that that interpretation is canon.

[sarcastic-clapping]

LET YOUR DAD DIE: IT'S FINE IT'S FINE IT'S WHAT HE DID TO HIS DAD.

Lestat + Claudia: Patricide & The Cycles of Violence - INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022) - Catherine Lacy, "Cut" (2019) / Anne Rice, "The Vampire Lestat" (1985) / Anne Rice, "Interview with the Vampire" (1976)

[narutos-sloppy-pussy]

Hey guys, can I be honest? I don’t much care for the lesbians from Willow (2022)

[edwinisms]

see I can’t accept charles’ comic background and socioeconomic status as canon for the show because if I did that would mean the whole group would be a bunch of rich kids and that’s a horrifying concept

[opheliabae]

Ophelia for the first time in their conversation only felt sadness. Sadness for how they ended up, sadness for what could have been, sadness for what they lost together. There was no anger, no rage, just sadness. Her throat felt tight, like she couldn't breathe as they stepped into the next step of their conversation, really talking about them and how this was going to look moving forward. That lump-like feeling making it difficult for her to get any kind of words out. "It wasn't easy cause we never let it be easy. We ended up entangled in us and put this pressure on not letting it get out to anyone, to my parents, but we knew that pressure was gonna break us and it did... and you left," she said, but this time her words weren't laced with malice, just regret for not trying to get these words out sooner.

She took in a deep breath then exhaled, scooting a little closer to Beck on the bench. It was the first time she allowed herself to be close to him, physically and emotionally. "And what do you want, Beck?" she questioned, feeling like she needed to know the answer to that or she would just combust. "Cause I know what I wanted... I wanted you. I would have told my dad if that was going to be the line we needed to cross to actually have a shot at it. A real shot at it," her voice trembling on the last few words. "I had to unlearn everything about you just to make it through and not let anyone know what was going on. I had to unlearn the way it felt to be near you and now I'm sat here it's all I can think about. Five years of work for nothing," she half laughed, shaking her head.

"I don't wanna walk away from here and never speak to you again but I never wanted that in the first place. I let you do this on your terms and I didn't try to find you to argue. I could have, but I figured you didn't want me to nor did you need that girl from California getting in your way," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. "Just convinced myself you didn't want me to somehow make it sting less, if that even makes sense. Just had to figure a way to forget about us."

"Doesn't that tell you something? Stuff never being easy for us? This ain't a high school production of Romeo and Juliet, Lia. We're not some star-crossed lovers." Beck knew she wasn't going to listen. He was done trying. He could tell her to leave until he was blue in the face, and it was just going to hurt her feelings. He'd have to accept her being here, he decided. Maybe there could be some benefit to it. If her father was involved in Obsidian, maybe he could worm his way back in, gather some intel.

"How d'you know? I wouldn't wanna hang out?" he asked. "You think I could just up and leave and never think about you again? I never figured we'd be anythin' serious. Never figured your dad would let that happen, but what's realistic and what I want are two different things." He could blame Nicholas. Blame their circumstances. Blame anyone but himself.

"I don't even know what to do anymore, Lia," Beck expelled the words with a sigh, like they were so heavy they were weighing on his lungs. There was an air of hopelessness about him that he rarely displayed. "But I know I can't have you in town and just pretend you don't exist. It was hard enough when you were half way across the country. So where do we even go from here?"

[madridfangirl]

Star Crossed Lovers - Ch 18 blurb

Jude had an extended Christmas break, but Jobe didn’t, so the family flew in to Sunderland on 24th and Jude joined in that evening. Jobe interrogated him extensively about what went down in Madrid. Denise & Mark were curious too but Denise’s emphatic guideline to Mark was to just let Jude be. He’d talk to them when he’s ready. 

Jobe texted Ananya, while she was on the way to the cabin.

Jobe: 😊

It was simple, but communicated a lot of things. Ananya smiled & responded immediately.

‘Merry Christmas Eve. Sorry for stealing your brother but I sent him right back :)’

‘To you too. And thanks, but he’s yapping non-stop now, more than usual.’

‘Well, good luck with that.’

‘Yeah I’m mostly ignoring him & Dad. Mum’s completely ignoring them!'

Ananya smiled while trying to picture the scene.

‘Have a great Christmas, Jobe. See you soon!'

‘You too. See ya!’

Immediately after that, she received a text from Jude. He had texted her earlier when he had landed, and then when he reached home, which was 30 mins ago.

‘Wassup?’

‘On my way. You?’

‘Sitting by the tree. Will read the letters soon.’

‘Tonight?’

‘Yeah, we do it on Christmas Eve. The presents are also tonight, so to wake up happy on Christmas Day.’

‘Lovely. Have fun.’

‘You too. But not too much.’

She laughed out loud and Anna turned to look at her from the driver’s seat.

‘Will try. Bye now.’

‘Bye.’

The letters were lovely. The whole family was a little overwhelmed but Mark started to make some silly jokes about Jude’s handwriting, when Jude had expressly warned them not to, and Jobe joined in. Laughter & mock wrestles filled the room while Denise stayed perched up on the side, smiling at the 3 kids.

The presents were a long, long affair. Jude had gone well & truly overboard this time - wanted to celebrate the massive Madrid contract & everything else that had come his way this year with his family. Denise even admonished him a little for the overspending and Mark tried to figure out how he even managed that when all his accounts were under their supervision. Jude just smiled smugly, saying he had his ways.

They stayed in for dinner, preferring a cozy home-made meal by the fireplace. It was already 11 pm. Jude checked his phone. Her last message was at 8:30 pm, when she reached the cabin. His mind kept picturing what could be happening there, and if he had made the right call to nudge her to go. 

Nudge her? You practically threw her into his waiting arms.

Sometimes, Jude hated his mind for playing such cruel tricks. 

He needed to talk to her right now. Fuck maturity! Fuck pride!

Jude called. The phone kept ringing. He tried again. Same outcome. After 15 mins, when his mind was about to go into a full-blown overdrive (he was close to pinging Roma for Anna’s number), his phone flashed with a message from her.

‘Bad network here. Just saw you called?’

Well yeah he called. That’s how the calls got registered on her phone. 

Knowing fully well he couldn’t take that tone with her, Jude took two full rounds around his room before responding.

‘Yeah. Can we talk?’

He proceeded to stare at his screen for 1 full minute, then she called him.

‘Hey youuu.’

Jude could tell that tone from a million miles away. She was drunk. Bad idea, he needed her to be fully in her senses tonight. But, she was away celebrating with her friends and he couldn’t possibly hold that against her.

‘Having fun?’

‘Oh yeah. Just ate half a cake. Downed it with wine. In hindsight not a great call but hey.’

She was still using big proper words. Jude surmised she was more buzzed than drunk. Good, some respite!

‘Nice. What else is happening?’

‘Just eating & drinking & playing some music & a little bit of dancing.’

‘Nothing else?’

She smiled, getting his drift.

‘Nothing that I need to tell, like we discussed.’

‘About that, I changed my mind. Tell me everything.’

Not knowing was driving him up the wall. She knew he wouldn’t last long anyway.

‘Jude, we are just joking, bitching rather, about folks at work & some clients. Typical IB stuff.’

‘Hmm.’

She caught the annoyance in his tone. It was time to change the topic.

‘How did it go there? Your folks were surprised?’

That worked like a charm. 

............................................................................

Happy New Year folks :)

[nobodysdaydreams]

Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.

[vnknowcrow]

I'm so sorry y'all, maybe I missed something, some type of scene, something somewhere but I have no fucking clue how you can get lucyXcooper out of this show.

I truly don't gaf about rarepairs or enemies to lovers or shipping just cause you like how they look together or just cause it's fucked up but like genuinely saying they had good romance chemistry (better then Lucy and max even???) Is genuinely mind boggling to me.

Ship what you want, just don't lie to me?

[cerealbishh]

"I relate to Bess a lot. I think that she is someone who is super quirky, I'm a very quirky person! Artist really struggles with feeling validationwith her art and they can be incredibly critical of themselves. And I think that Bess is someone that really cares about other people and I think I care a lot about people, too. Her temper is a little quick, for sure. And that was something that was exciting to play because normally, I try not to make anybody uncomfortable. So I think that was fun, to be a little more sharp and and to find that!" - Brittany on Bess(x)

[gwydionae]

SAY IT WITH ME:

FEMALE CHARACTERS CAN BE WARRIORS AND FEMININE

MALE CHARACTERS CAN BE SMART AND MASCULINE

BEING BOTH IS NOT A "FLAW" WHERE ONE NEEDS TO BE REMOVED

IT'S CALLED "COMPLEXITY"

[quietwingsinthesky]

part of me wonders like. what if ruby's mom had just left. what if ruby had said "i'm named after a road", looking at her with so much hope in her eyes, and her mom, who made this choice nineteen years ago, couldn't handle it. and left.