#and her dog would go fucking feral on that thing it was so funny

[spookyboywhump]

Those bark boxes for dogs but geared towards whumpers for their pets ,,,,

LOVE THIS,,,,,

But also just imagined Wren receiving one from Cain that’s all marine life themed 😭 he’s still kind of insulted but one of the toys is a shark so he’s also thrilled,,,,

But also also. Whumpers using these toys to make their pets play fetch,,,, punishing them if they try to use their hands,,,,,

[elliesmainhoe]

Hey there vivi, I think your work is cool <33 Wanted to ask what you thought of Ellie and girlfriend having IVF with both their genetics/eggs so they both have a biological child together. Know it’s not possible yet but im thinking about a Ellie with biological kid. Tmi but im ovulating so this is what im thinking ab rn. Not asking you to do a little blurb if you don’t want to, but wanted to know if you like the idea of Ellie and her kidd, ngl i think is interesting and adorable. Much love!

omg I fucking love this idea!!!! she would be so silly , I wrote some headcanons for this so hope you like it!!!!

ELLIE WILLIAMS HEADCANONS: YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HER (biologically)

okay let's say- distant future, lesbians can now have biological babies (yay technology!)

when you tell her that your pregnant girlie is gobsmacked, even though you two were actively trying. (aka raw dogging every night)

goes through a crisis, buys baby books, pregnancy books, looks into a ton of birth and labour options

shes prepared for everything, goes to Joel to find advice about taking care of a pregnant woman and what to do with a newborn

GRANDPA JOEL????

stop that would be the most adorable shit ever, him sitting on his porch, yours and Ellie's babe on his chest, giving you two a break

stopppp 😭😭😭😭

anyways getting off topic-

she's literally so much more a doting loser than she usually is (which is a feat in itself)

gets you all your cravings, chocolate? done. pickles? done. chocolate AND pickles together? fuck it she'll try some too.

loves decorating the nursery in your house

PAINTS A DINOSAUR AND/OR SPACE MURAL IN THE ROOM???

the nerd indoctrination is already happening.

her and Joel make loads of custom furniture, adjustable crib, rocking/nursing chair, changing station.

the nursery ends up looking so cute, with loads of earthy tones and greens but also an array of rainbow toys.

OMG THEY MAKE YOUR BABY A ROCKING HORSE??

shed be so supportive during labour

whatever birth method you choose shes so supportive, makes you a little emergency bag just in case you go into labour

loves skin to skin

after the birth, you're exhausted of course, so you're sleeping and she's alone with a newborn baby???

honestly thinks that the baby looks a little funky

when babies come out they're squished, red and all silly looking

they're cute of course!!! but Ellie is still hoping your babe grows out of the squished tomato, potato phase?

skin to skin is her favorite thing

having the baby laid on her chest is genuinely the sweetest thing ever

she 100% cries when your baby grows out of their first onesie

she's so sentimental, keeps everything your kid does or has

old dummies (pacifiers if you're American), baby toys that the kid doesn't play with anymore, the umbilical cord? it's in a ziplock bag somewhere.

wears the baby in those baby back pack things (I can't remember the name LMAO)

when the baby starts teething she's always making jokes about how you've given birth to a feral baby.

jokingly scolds the baby when they start biting when you breastfeed them

dresses the kid up in the funnies outfits

the baby's dresser is basically a fancy dress box by now. dinosaur costumes, teddy bear costumes, pirate costume?

literally everything

---------------

I now have baby fever. kms.

not proofread

she's the best mum especially with a newborn

[gremlingottoosilly]

what would happen to innocent deer reader after being taken from the forest (literally got dragged out of her home) by Price and his boys to their base?

non-con, prey kink, monster fucking You're bounded like their newest catch, just a meal to be shared among cruel monsters. You shake and tremble in the tight ropes bounding your legs and arms - they didn't let you turn into your other form, knowing how fast scared deers can be, especially when as despaired as you are. You're certain they are going to eat you, eventually. Yes, their sergeant - Soap, you hear, which is funny because the man reeks of an unruly dog who needs to be put in his place - was panting and drooling all over your lower body, almost feral from the fertile smell that your body, no doubt, was leaking. You hate this part of your mind, of your body - the nature of a prey animal in the monster world makes you not fight for your life, but to present yourself, eyes wide open and legs spread for anyone to take. Your instincts tell you to freeze in place, to hope that they would just need a quick lay - that maybe if they both are satisfied enough, they would leave you alone. Or at least kill you mercifully. The captain is worse, somehow. When Soap started to lick on your leaking cunt and making you drool all over yourself, not even capable to wipe your face since your hands are gagged, bear hybrid only watched. Pushed a finger in your open mouth, checked your biting reflex - thank god you aren't a rabbit or a domestic cat. Thank god the only thing you know about the use of your teeth is that you have to hide them when Price pushes his dick past your lips, your throat bulging from the sheer girth.

You trash in their hold, gagging and choking - god, you feel too fucking hot, pressed tight between two monsters, using you like the prey you are. You hate it, you hate it, you hate it - you want to say so, just so they would stop, but your core is throbbing around Johnny's tongue and, eventually, his cock - forcing your lower lips to open as wide as your higher ones. You're sobbing by the time they are done with you, covered in sweat and tears. They coo at you, laughing at the little prey that stumbled across their territory - and you smile because you think that the nightmare is over, that they brought you to their base just so they could kill you, preferably as fast and painless as possible. You only notice others when sharp claws are tugging on your flesh of your ass, when shadows tendrils are swirling around your midriff, making you sob from the sudden cold. They brought you to their den not because they wanted to eat you - but because they wanted to share you. You don't know which is worse.

[soap-brain]

i think one of the nate eliot things is that they're both fucking unhinged. there's something feral about them, something that's capable of disregarding basic humanity. we know eliot is a killer, and a ruthless one at that, and he's not afraid of being in those kind of situations, which in a way dehumanises him, this inability to feel fear.

and nate. nate!! that man is terrifying! get in line, or get out of the way is his motto, and he applies it to absolutely everyone. especially in the earlier seasons, and yes he applies it to sophie (who is unarguably closest to him) too! for maggie he decides that she will get out of the way (because falling in line with him would mean that she would break the law, and she's a Good Citizen, not a Criminal or a Thief, and it never occurs to him that it's not a black and white situation... or that his ex wife matches his crazy).

and if you do neither, he ends you. simple as that. he doesn't kill you and he doesn't physically harm you, but what he does is arguably worse, because he ruins your life in ways eliot can't.

and they very quickly recognise each other as apex predators and both allow the other to use that for their crusade. eliot is a weapon that needs pointing in the right direction, that's what he's getting out of their relationship; and nate needs someone who'll have a go at him and who he can't actually hurt. because nate ruins lives by ruining their reputations, and what reputation does eliot have to lose? and conversely, not even nate ford could convince the world that eliot spencer isn't really fucking dangerous

(sidenote: that's why making moreau watch eliot spencer decrying the evil presidential dog fights is so fucking funny. there's an excellent post about it somewhere on here)

eliot thinks he's further along the path of being something inhuman, and he also thinks nate can still be saved from becoming that too. being an insurance cop, a "good guy" (btw a very laughable concept about how working in insurance makes you a good person. like. if that were the case then how come the same "good guys" let nate's son die so they didn't have to pay for his treatment?), was what kept nate on the straight and narrow before, and now giving him something to do might stop him from going completely off the rails ("how long until you fall apart again? a guy like you can't be out of the game, that's why you were a wreck. you need the chase" is what eliot's saying to convince nate to stay with the team).

unfortunately running with criminals doesn't fix nate the way eliot would like for it to, because the guy suddenly stops recognising any and all societal rules and overcompensates by trying to keep full control of everything all the time. he is so unreasonably mad at sophie for trying to help her friend teresa who got screwed over by marcone.

"she should've known what she got into, her husband working with the mob" and cpl perry from the ep before should've known what he got into, joining the military, but for some reason he's worth helping because he didn't "choose" to become a criminal. did teresa choose to get in with the mob or did she and her husband just not have another chance?

and when the entire team agrees they want to take that job, nate throws a hissy fit. tells them all to walk if they don't like the way he runs the team.

so does leverage fix nate? maybe after five seasons. but at first it makes him worse because between "not having to abide by normal human laws anymore" and the alcohol he completely loses his restraint

and eliot gets that. eliot has been there, has completely lost any and all principles (working for moreau mostly) and is now trying to glue the pieces of himself back together into something that isn't horrible. but nate isn't there yet. nate is still violent and dangerous, and eliot is the only one on the team who isn't disgusted by it. sophie certainly is. hardison and parker are too, even if they don't say it out loud. eliot may not like it, but he gets it.

and in return, nate is the only one who knows about what happened in the big bang job. he can hold eliot back with as little as a gesture or a look and it's not a slight to eliot at all. eliot trusts nate to point him in the right direction because they both need the same thing:

to be a good man.

also:

eliot: what, you think the only thing i know how to do is bust heads? nate: no... well, yeah. eliot: hold a knife like this, cuts through an onion. hold a knife like this, cuts thought like eight yakuza in 4 seconds. screams, carnage... nate: yeah good point actually

like apart from how it's funny, any normal person would react with some version of "that's so fucked up". and nate is just like yeah nah that tracks actually, fair enough, do carry on

also @scotchiegirl something about nate and eliot and violence? sorry for tagging you aslkdjfhasdlkfj i just had ThoughtsTM

[angelagiarratana]

You Make It Easy

This is really similar to a blurb I saw last night but I wrote this early yesterday so….

The day you and Ang decided to tell the cast and crew at Smosh, you knew she was going to sneak it into every shoot. Really just to fuck with you. She knew if she played her cards right she could win any game, get you to laugh, blush, forget what you were saying, and you saw it in her eyes. It became a thing. People at work knew it was happening.

"You guys really waited for me, and then just took me out!" Angela waved her cast around for emphasis, the whole table laughing at how fast she lost UNO. "AG at least, we waited?" You and Courtney both puppy dog eyes at her, Arasha staring at Angela, waiting for her next move. Keith was already on it, "This is the part where Angela flirts with Y/n, she blushes, and everyone laughs at Angela's joke." Keith deadpanning at the camera. Angela was offended at Kieth exposing her newest bit like that. She went from feral guinea pig to cool as hell when she started flirting with you on camera. "Hey now!" Courtney slapped the table, "It's cute! Okay? Y/n absolutely melts and Angela gets that dopey look in her eyes!" Everyone laughed and moved on. What no one saw was Angela asking Keith if she should stop or tone it down for the sake of everyone. Keith hugged her, "Angela if I had an issue with your comedy I would come to you about." High fived her good hand and winked at her.

This time, it wasn't so sweet, it was alright hilarious. Angela was sitting on a stool along with Courtney, Ian, Chanse, and Amanda. You were waiting for your turn trying to think of literally anything, "Y/n! You're up!" Kiana called from behind the cameras. "Fuck it." You grabbed the first prop you could and walked out. You looked down at your hand to find Angela's phone, why was it on the prop rack? Great question! Your eyes went wide and you knew exactly what to do. You opened the camera and squatted awkwardly, filming them on the stools, "Wait could you do that again? It was really funny! I wanna put it on my Instagram story!" You moved closer to her, almost in her face. Courtney spitting. Angela held it in by avoiding eye contact but the second your eyes met, she lost it. Water flying directly onto your shirt, pants, hair, and her phone, "AG! You fucking spit on me!"

There was a beat, you swear you heard The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly playing. You saw the gears turn in her head, she made direct eye contact and said, "You act like it's the first time." Dead serious, straight face, and just stares at you as everyone loses it. Ian, Chanse, and Amanda all spit. The cast in the back comes walking out dying. Shayne is off-camera screaming. Your face goes bright red, your brain short-circuiting not knowing to laugh, run, or shoot back at her. You eventually give up, finally breaking eye contact and chuckling loudly. Your ribs hurt from laughter. Angela just sits on her stool, smug as hell.

After the shoot, Amanda walks up to the couch you were lying on giving you the cool mom look. You hid your face with your hands feeling very shy about Amanda knowing your sex life. She has such mother energy to her that just, made you feel so nervous about this. "Now, Y/n. I learned something very interesting about you today." She sat down at your feet. From behind your hands, you responded, "Yep." She tapped the back of your hand, "I can't hear you." She was fully accepting the bit at this point, trying anything to get you to take a deep breath. You moved your hands finally seeing the mom look she was wearing and laughed loudly. Amanda relaxed her posture and uncrossed her legs, fully becoming Amanda again. "No seriously how are you feeling?" She grabbed your ankle, "Angela is somewhere freaking out that she crossed a line with you and HR." Your heart dropped and you sat up, "Where is she?" You were on your feet Amanda following behind you as you walked.

Checking room after room, closet after closet until you finally found her outside sitting against the building. Amanda stayed inside but stood by the door. Angela saw you approaching and used her hand to brush away the dirt from the ground beside her. You smiled sadly at the action and plopped down beside her. Pulling her head onto your shoulder and hand into yours. She sniffled from your shoulder, "I'm sorry." You kissed her temple, "You don't need to be. It was funny. If it was an issue I would've lost it and silent laughed." She hummed. You rubbed her hand with your thumb, "And no one from HR or Ian or Zoe is looking for you. They would've said something during the shoot." She sighed, "Yeah. I just take things too far sometimes." You squeezed her hand, "You're in your head love. Everyone takes things too far once in a while, we're human. I wouldn't say it's something you do. You don't have to think that about yourself." She sniffled. There was a comforting silence.

After a few minutes, Amanda stuck her head out the door, "Hey, I don't want to interrupt but they're ready when we are. Kiana said no rush." You smiled and thanked her. She nodded and gave you the 'how is she look?', you smiled and mouthed 'she's okay'. She closed the door and went to grab both of your phones, water bottles, and a snack for Angela. Anglea picked her head up and looked at you. She took in the warmth of your gaze, how your hair was slightly moving with the wind, and how radiant you are. "Thank you for always knowing what to say." You smiled wide, "You never have to thank me, you make it easy." She pressed a sweet kiss to your lips and gave a look so full of love she didn't have to say it. "I love you too."

[thebearme]

Got any re8 Heisenberg headcanons? (I definitely am so normal about him)

Don't worry, I'm completely normal about him too.

Ethan works with Karl to stop Miranda, but they aren't exactly friends after that, but they learn to like each other.

Chris was originally was going to put Karl into the military as a living bioweapon, but with enough convincing. Ethan got him to just let stay with him and Rose. They're roommates now.

Karl is thankful for Ethan to help him avoid that fate, but he is still frustrated on how his life is in someone's hand. Now he has to listen to Ethan or run the risk of being killed or weaponized. So the anger is the living arrangement is mutual.

Karl tends to be untrusting of everyone, like a feral stray dog. So Karl stays in the basement and minds his business.

Ethan and Mia had a mutual divorce, The relationship was built on rocky ground, and they understand that. But what Mia doesn't understand is why Ethan would have this moldy hobo live with him, and frankly- he doesn't know either.

Karl was a stinky man. His hands are rough and dry, chipped sharp nails that seem to always have something underneath them despite that fact of him wearing gloves most of the time. He covered in a layer of grease, sweat and car oil, smells like copper, gasoline, sweat, cigars, rain dew and a hint of mold and rot. LOVEY ISN'T IT! A sensory overload dream. His hair WILL make a crunchy noise if touched, and don't bother trying to comb through it.

Ethan made sure that his mf got a shower with some actual soap. He may look the same but trust in the fact if you were in a room with him, you'll actually be able to hug him without getting high from the gasoline.

Karl's hair gets so fluffy when conditioned.

It took months before Ethan trusted Karl in watching Rose or let alone hold her.

Karl LOVES sweets.

He originally didn't know about Home Depot because Ethan was worry that there will quickly be no Home Depot.

There's no longer a Home Depot.

Heisenberg will melt when he hears Rose's first words.

The day that Heisenberg finds out what a Samsung fridge is- IT'S OVER!

Heisenberg lived off of military ration meals till now, so he has to resort to the next best thing here: hungry man TV dinners. And kid cuisine when Rose goes into solid food.

HE CAN COOK! To be particular, grill. But he's kinda going through that depression that led you to not take care of himself.

Karl HATES the rain, It rusts all his metal, and he is in content risk of getting struck by lightning, He's a living lightning rod. Ethan tries to be nice and help him by giving him a rubber rain suit, leading him to wear three layers of protection: fishing overalls, rain boots, raincoat, rubber gloves, rain hat and a rubber poncho.

You can hear him from a mile away with all that rubber squeaking.

Heisenberg surprisingly was a virgin for a long time, and it makes sense. He was too busy in his factory to be with anyone romantically nor platonically, let alone get laid. He never really cared till he thought about it now, especially when Ethan has living proof that he fucked. *CUT TO FUNNY KARL SPEED DATING SEQUENCE* this is probably a very sharp contrast to others hc of karl but idc it's my hc

Heisenberg and Ethan have that opposite attract dynamic, Karl gets to teach him that life doesn't end or need to be tense just because they're mole zombies. While Ethan teaches Karl to unpack his years trauma, cuz that shit will come to haunt you.

Ethan found some room for Heisenberg to sleep upstairs instead.

Eventually Ethan gets so close with Heisenberg he actually starts calling him by his first name.

That was noticed by Mia and Chris, which made them nervous in where Ethan loyalty would lie when something were to happen.

Heisenberg never had clean water before, so just imagine him with the crisp 3am water.

Chris only allows Karl to experience the outside monthly. But Ethan sneaks Karl with him when he can. As long, he doesn't scare anyone in town.

Karl is like a caveman entering the present day, He's culture shock is out of this world.

He loves the phrase "metal as fuck."

When Karl has a nightmare he rearrange his room to push all the metal out or nap in the living room. When Karl and Ethan got closer he started sleeping in Ethan's room. Even though their hearts beat slow, the human warmth is still there.

Karl never wants to talk about what his nightmare was about or why he feels better sleeping in a room with less metal.

Here some songs that I always relate to Heisenberg:

Now I'm about to go into what my hc is for Heisenberg before re8.

tw body horror and child abuse

I have the headcanon that Karl wasn't from the village, but his family was. He was born in the states and unknowingly has the genes that make him very susceptible to the mold mutation. Eventually, after his grandfather died and passed the factory/mines to his parents, they all moved to Europe. Explaining the contrasting transatlantic accent.

But like all things, Miranda had to ruin. She noticed the newcomers of the village; she saw how they also have a child and decided to take action. Miranda killed Karl Heisenberg's parents and took him in to experiment on with the cadou parasite.

His gift was unknown till one check up later after all of his complaints of feeling of something tearing into him. Miranda realized that there seems to be scraps of metal like nuts and bolts dug and tear through into his body to his bones like a magnet.

When he's in is REM sleep, his electromagnet powers moves and attract scraps of metal to him. Leaving him to wake up with blood on his sheets, but the wound already healed like nothing happened. But Karl does know it feels harder to move every day.

Miranda made sure to test him on his gift. He looks completely human and is powerful, he was almost perfect… The one single flaw in him is the fact that even as a helpless child that had no one else to rely on but her. He still hated her.

Heisenberg was the youngest of the four lords and the favorite, and he hated it. Dude would just spend all his time by himself, leaving himself tape recorders. He eventually started to entertain himself as if he was a radio host. The theater kid possesses him.

Eventually when he got older he got into contact with The Duke and was able to purchase tapes and machinery scraps from him. The tapes turned out to be American documents of ww2, leading Heisenberg to his American freedom fighter rhetoric.

When he detransform from his big monster form, he has to go get a lil help. He has to get rid of the pieces of metal without just tearing off pieces of his flesh, That shit is hard to grow back you know!

[crabdrabbles]

Graves + Shadows Headcanons Part 3 [Part 1] [Part 2] Words: 766

Praise for DAYS. Did Shadow 5-8 get a good shot on the target? Punch in the shoulder at the end of the mission and a bright grin “That’s what I’m talkin’ about, 5-8!”, 

“Atta’girl, 6-12, I couldn’t’ve done that better myself.”

“Keep it up, 10-4!” Reaches over and brings them into a side hug and ruffles their hair like a proud dad. 

Coming back to Graves having a lot of respect for his soldiers, remember that scene in SWCW where it's like

"We're clones, sir, we're meant to be expendable..." "Not to me."

Yeah that's Graves.

He has kept every set of dog tags that belonged to Shadows that died during missions. They’re kept locked away in a box, safely tucked away.

A lot of Shadows were previously mercenaries, even criminals, but they are good at what they do which is why they get hired in the first place. Not to mention that Graves sees hiring them as a way to give them a second chance at life. 

Shepherd has learnt that the way to make Graves do what he wants is by threatening his Shadows. He could very easily dissolve the entire company in a day and expose Graves for technically harbouring wanted criminals.  

Yes, Shepherd called him a ‘dog with a bone’, but he’s more like a Dragon with a hoard. His hoard being his soldiers.

Some rando who was visiting the base once snapped at a Shadow, calling them a ‘stupid fucking mercenary’. That was his mistake when Graves had to be restrained by 3 of his own men. 

“What the fuck did you just say to them? You’d best walk outta my base before I make you leave in a goddamn body bag!”

As shown above, he goes absolutely feral if someone ever insults any of his soldiers.

“Be quiet, sergeant, your betters are talking.” Said some hoity Commander who hasn’t stepped foot in a battlefield in over a decade. Suddenly, it feels like all the air in the room has been sucked out like a vacuum. All eyes go to Graves as he glares long and hard at the man. 

“Apologise. Now.” “What–” “I said: apologise, ‘fore I show you my own version of ‘southern hospitality’.”

Compulsory language lessons. Every Shadow has to know at least 2 languages, English and another language of their choosing. Missions sometimes rely heavily on communication, so fluency in different languages is important.

Graves knows several languages himself, but his pronunciation is downright awful. Sometimes he makes his accent worse because it’s funny watching the horror in people’s eyes when he speaks. 

One of his Shadows has a tendency of crawling around in the vents in the base and because he’s not really harming anyone, Graves lets him do as he pleases. Because of the habit, however, and the fact he’s somehow able to go around almost silently through the metal vents, he’s earned an affectionate nickname amongst the Shadows; Roach. 

Graves doesn’t get along with family. Don’t get him wrong, he has some semblance of respect for his Momma cause she taught him good manners and other things like how to cut hair and how to cook a hearty meal for 12 people, but she was a narcissistic bitch when it came down to it and he took a lot of pleasure cutting her out of his life the second he was able to. 

He never met his father, and doesn’t much care for him, either. 

Paid leave/Holidays? Check. Paternity/Maternity leave? Check. Bed ed and board? Check. Medical and dental plan? You know it. Any possible benefit that can come with a job, being a Shadow has. 

No matter what they’re doing, if Graves does a run up to them, they will always catch their Commander. 

Is the first or last port of call when a fight/argument breaks out. It depends on how out of hand it's gotten in the space of about 15 minutes. Usually people don’t want to interrupt whatever the Commander’s doing and invoke his wrath.

“They started it!” “Well I’m endin’ it!”

Has the type of authority that if he were to suddenly yell at a recruit “Drop it. Now!” Everyone in earshot would absolutely drop whatever they were holding even if the comment wasn’t directed at them. 

There’s a Shadow that’s the largest of the entire company– but he is the biggest scaredy cat and coward anyone has ever met, which makes people wonder why he’s even in Shadow Company. The reality is that, despite being a coward, he’s damn intimidating. Perfect for him to shadow hover behind Graves during mission briefs and so forth.

have a request? send one in!

[there-must-be-a-lock]

BuckyJay recs

I have been hammering away at my keyboard like a crazy person working on the If It's A Highway sequel, which obviously has given me the urge to read more BuckyJay, and there is still just... a distressingly small amount of that in the world.

here, have a few of my recent favorites:

To Dig a Grave in Winter by @oliocelottafanfics - just read this one tonight and its criminal lack of hits inspired this list tbh. fucking gorgeously written. GORGEOUS. please go give it some love.

They echo in him, punctuated by the smell of rain and fresh turned earth and the phantom pain of something heavy against his skull. He feels like a walking gravesite. They must see it too. They sneer at him when they call him to the chair after each mission. He doesn’t know why, doesn’t understand when one of them says, “Let’s see if you come back this time.” He feels his heart flutter to a stop as the machine drags away what little of his consciousness remains. When he opens his eyes again, he hardly remembers dying.

First Glance by @drgrlfriend - this is WinterHawkHood-flavored, which is a whole other rec list, but it starts as just the Winter and Hood part, so I'm counting it. Dr. G has never written anything that I didn't absolutely love, she's crazy talented, but there is something special about her shamelessly bloodthirsty Jason.

Jason grins, sharp and feral.  “Human traffickers, baby.  Looking for someone young and pretty to round out their next shipment.  We know where they’re gonna hit tonight and SHIELD’s already nabbed the buyers, so we don’t even need to leave anyone alive once we locate the rest of the merchandise.” And, yeah, there’s a lot of things about the job that Jason likes, but this scenario is pretty much custom made for him.  He seems to get a very specific sort of satisfaction from playing all dewy-eyed and vulnerable, letting the bad guys think they have the upper hand, and then raining deadly fury down on their heads.  Well, Bucky thinks philosophically, everyone needs a hobby. “It’ll practically be a vacation,” Jason purrs, and Bucky takes his hand off the gearshift to give his thigh a pat in agreement.  It’s important to support your partner’s interests.

prove you're not a loser (anymore) by @capriciouswrites - most of this fic is funny as fuck, featuring a spectacularly grumpy Bruce and an adorably thirsty Clint, but it starts with this absolute fuckin banger of an opening, from which I may never recover:

Someone’s hand comes near his mouth to try to force it open and he’s always been willing to be a rabid dog — they're trying to make him into a lap dog after all, he might as well make sure they know that his pedigree is alley — so he bites down and fills his mouth with blood before they manage to get the mouth guard in — and then he’s really stuck like he knew he would be. He knew they’d win and strap him down and try to kill him in the only way that matters.  What is a man, after all, he thinks, but memory trapped in meat. And soon he’ll be just the meat without the memory. His philosophizing is cut short by a sharp jolt of electricity — and then he’s trying to breathe and scream and he’s trapped and — if he could still think he’d consider that maybe this is worse than last time, but he can’t so he doesn’t. 

who do I have to bribe to get more of this pairing in my life?!

[karmicpunishment]

KARMIE BELOVED hear me out. ada minecraft server.

kyouka keeps taming animals (no one can bear to hit her. what if the dogs get mad at them. what if they have thorns armor. WHAT IF IT MAKES HER SAD.) and she is simply accompanied by a pack at all times

atsushi is still learning how to play and he builds these ugly-ass houses like we all did starting out but hes so proud of them (as he should be)

i was torn on dazai but i think it would be funny is hes so so bad at minecraft. he keeps walking off of inclines and dying bc he doesn't pay attention to his healthbar. he insists hes just playing on a higher level (hes actually rlly good at pvp and uses that for shenanigans but general play? he sucks so bad)

alternatively i think kunikida should be really good when he does play bc it would annoy dazai so much. i think he builds really nice houses and insists the game is just math but doesn't even play that often bc too much time gaming is unhealthy (it infuriates dazai that hes so competent despite barely playing)

i think ranpo plays exclusively for the chaos. he and dazai are a terrible combination (for everyone else) but also extremely funny. also i think he breaks minecraft in insane ways for fun when he gets bored and its a tossup whether the rest of the server suffers or benefits bc of it

tbh i think yosano should go feral in minecraft? like i think she should steal good gear from whoever has it and go kill to her heart's content. u cannot tell me she doesnt have insane amounts of repressed fury i think she should relieve that stress by going on adventures where she kills whatever she finds. yosano should 1v1 the warden powered by sheer spite i think

i think fukuzawa would not really understand minecraft?? but he gets on the server sometimes to spend time with the other members and has a minecraft cat that follows him everywhere (it took so many fish to tame. he worked so fucking hard for that ok)

OH MY GOD KENJI. I FORGOT HIM. THE BOY. i think hes so excited to play with everyone :) he can't build but he collects animals like kyouka and also provides the majority of the food for the other server members. hes like me fr just out here making massive farms of food and also collecting soo many farm animals in pens (he insists on not overcrowding the animal pens)

anyway i will end this by saying rip tanizaki hes the only remotely normal player on this fucking minecraft server

HI PAT!!! and yes yes yes to all of this

kyouka as an animal hoarder tamer is so cute and so real. kenji definitely does this too and yeah he'd totally make Massive farms. ranpo tells him he could make automated ones with redstone and he finds that amazing but also much rathers to just do it himself. they have huge buildings dedicated just to the animals they've collected and basically every name tag someone finds goes towards naming them all.

atsushi would 100% start out building the ugliest houses fr...all the dirt 4x4s and then the wooden box houses. he gradually gets better until hes a pretty decent builder. i feel like he'd also be the type to just get utterly lost in the game lol both in terms of directions (but he always writes down his coordinates) but also like he'd look up at the clock and realize he's spent 3 hours mining.

dazai being an utter disaster at the game is so funny to me. he's not allowed to go mining by himself because he will just die in a random cave and lose everything (also not allowed in the nether for similar reasons). he would be the type to purposefully hit a zombie pigmen just to make his fellow players lives worse lmao. the first thing someone gives him on the server is feather falling boots because he keeps walking off tall places (half the time on purpose the other half are complete accidents) it just makes him walk off things more but at least he's dying less because of it. he's an expert at setting up in game pranks though (usually on kunikida, the poor guy)

kunikida being great at minecraft is so near and dear to me now. i feel like he played the game a lot as a kid because lets be honest, its perfect for him but then kinda fell out of playing it as he got older. and then one of his students from when he was an assistant teacher reminded him of it and he got back into it. he definitely plays for like a couple a week to destress on his own private world where he has the most insane builds. he also is totally a resource gatherer/hoarder too, he's always giving the others supplies (though giving is a strong word, half of them just steal from him).

ranpo is also a disaster in minecraft i feel. he could build insane things but he doesn't have the patience for it honestly. same with redstone stuff, like he gets it but he doesn't usually take the time to do it. he's absolutely awful at pvp though and he gets lost ALL the time. he is the perfect person to go to when trying to find a special area or material, he always knows what someone needs. i also feel like he'd like potion making, idk why. he also really enjoys insane mod packs (though he makes other people install them for him)

yosano would totally be an insane pvp'er. she enjoys the other aspects of the game too but she gets the most enjoyment spending her nights beating mobs. she's not much of a builder but she does like to spend some time decorating the inside of ppl's bases. she's the kind of player to set off withers to defeat on her own for fun. she also plays bedwars lol and is a beast at it.

fukuzawa definitely has just a nice little house with like 5 cats in it. he logged on the first day of the server and then maybe like 3 times since but its okay. and absolutely no one is allowed to touch his house, under threat of ranpo's chaos lol. also no one really wants to destroy the presidents house, it just feels wrong.

tanizaki is just a fairly well-rounded player, like his builds aren't amazing but they're nice, he's decent at combat, he likes resource gathering etc. i feel like he and naomi have like several worlds of their own that they've kept up with for years at this point, with just like sprawling cities worth of builds. his favorite things to do in the game are probably just going on long journeys to find new biomes and fishing lol

[armpirate]

UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 31

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

My whole focus is lost when I see her getting out of her room with her pajamas, walking around dragging her feet, with messy hair and her eyes barely open -because she probably is still trying to get used to the lighting of the room. When I look back in her eyes, I catch her glancing over my half naked body, while I'm just pouring some juice into her glass. I know what I was trying to do when I dressed completely, except for the t-shirt. She was the one who started this war by not letting me sleep next to her last night.

But I'm not sure who's playing who at this point.

—Good morning, cocktease —I greet her with a smile—. Slept well?

—Great —while sitting on one of the chairs, I keep my eyes on her while she answers—. What about you?

—I would've slept better with you, but you sent me to the couch like a dog —I pucker my lips—. It's alright though.

I feel like anything that comes to showing off my body won't work with her, but maybe if I lead her to show some mercy for me.... But even then, how did she expect me to sleep? I've been rolling all night on the couch, until I woke up from my body hitting the ground under me, and then it took me another two hours to fall asleep again.

She didn't even give me a proper good night kiss.

—You could've gone home —she shrugs.

She spreads the strawberry jam over the toast, accidentally slipping some on the crusty border. She's completely ignoring everything I say, because her attention is somewhere else. As soon as she's aware of the way I'm looking at her, she takes it away with her finger, just to taste it directly from it, sucking it slowly before she lets it go with a popping sound.

She's a fucking tease. And I hate to admit what a good learner she is, especially because she's using all of my lessons against me.

—Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do.

—What am I trying to do? —she asks innocently, biting her toast.

—You're punishing me.

Of course she is.

—Stop being so self-centered. I'm just having breakfast.

—So you're not trying to make me hard?

—If I wanted to make you hard —I suddenly feel her foot over my shinbone, sliding it up slowly—, I'd do this —she stops moving when she reaches my mid thigh.

—You're being so unfair.

—I thought you said you'd be able to take it? —she bites on her toast again, slightly moving her foot further.

—Yeah, but you're playing dirty.

—I didn't do anything.

I actually wish she wasn't doing anything. Because the way I'm going feral with every centimeter she moves further in my leg, it's not normal.

She moves her foot again, but she's only able to reach my crotch for a fast second before I move my body away, as much as possible, from her and the table. I give her a warning look, but I only receive a clap back that makes me come back to reality. If I go back to my place, she'll only tease me more. And for now, I think it'd be better to just avoid her.

—You won't finish your breakfast? —she curiously asks when she sees me putting my t-shirt on.

Of course she isn't surprised by it, and it's clear by her funny tone.

—We both know that if I stay here longer, breakfast won't be what I end up eating.

Although those are empty words as well, because if that were true, I'd have eaten her up instead of breakfast as soon as she joined me in the living room. I'm leaving because I know she'll keep edging me until I lose control of myself and my tongue. And I can't let that happen.

I return to the table, squatting in front of her. She genuinely looks so precious from up close, and from this angle. My thumb moves over her lower lip, taking away some jam -that I lick from my fingertip without breaking eye contact. And I can clearly hear her breathing a bit louder after I do that.

You get just what you receive. And if you're going to be a tease to me, you need to get ready to be paid just the same way.

—I also have to open the studio, and you need to get ready for the interview —I remind her, pinching her chin with two of my fingers.

I bet she probably forgot until I reminded her.

I stand up again, now landing a kiss on her forehead, peeking to the side to see that she's still holding her toast near my head. I grab a fast bite from it, saying goodbye for a second time until I actually leave, finally.

And the fact that all this marked how my morning would go...

Y/n. It's the only thing I can think about since I left and since I started working with two of the customers that were scheduled for today.

Thank god those tattoos were easy ones that didn't require all of my attention, because I'd have been doomed.

When the time of her interview gets closer, I choose to send her a text.

Me: Good luck today!

Me: Don't be late

Cocktease: That won't be a problem

When she sends me the pic of the entrance of the gallery, I can help but cackle out loud. What is she doing there so early?

I assume she's so nervous she wanted to make sure she'd be there on time, and I can't help it. I find it endearing.

I also pose for her, rolling the chair in front of the mirror so my whole body is visible before I snap a pic and send it.

Cocktease: I like the beanie

Me: Just the beanie?

Me: What about what's under it?

Cocktease: Your hair? I can't see it

Again, I giggle at her answer. I type several things. I first go with a flirty text, but I delete it right after because I'm not sure it's the best moment to send it. I then go for a cute text, saying that my hair looked pretty today, but I end up not sending it either. And I finally end up wishing her good luck again, before I put my phone down.

This is ridiculous.

—Where's the big boy? —Jimin cheerfully greets, peeking through the door frame with a smile.

—Alright. Time to remind you that you're just two years older than me —I call him out, turning my chair to him.

Instead of replying to what I'm saying, he just sighs and rolls his eyes before he steps inside my studio.

—Wanna go for a coffee?

—I have work to do —I mention.

It's not an excuse, truly. Unless it's something important, I tend to spend the morning inside the studio, take my lunch break and then stay until closing time.

—Mark told me you can leave for a while —he shrugs, pointing outside.

—Tae uses the same trick.

—Fine. Ask him yourself.

I walk outside, finding Mark completely focused on his iPad, unaware of my presence until I call out his name.

—Wasn't there going to be a few more customers?

—Yeah, but one of them canceled —he mentions—. And the other asked if it would be possible to come a bit later, so you can leave. Just be here before three.

When I turn, Jimin is looking at me with a victorious smile, pressing his lips together while they are all curved up in a bread smile.

He's so annoying sometimes.

—I'll be here before —I assure him.

Jimin has talked about whatever since we got to the cafe. He mentions how his hand still hurts after the fight from yesterday, and how bruises look good on me, because it makes my cute face look a bit rougher.

—I know you aren't here now to talk about that fight —I pause him.

There are moments when you meet with friends to talk about anything that comes to mind. In our case, we always meet up when we all are done with work -or when Taehyung doesn't have much going on in his pub-, but whenever they come to the studio asking for me, I know they want to discuss something they'd consider important. It happened when I had problems with Leslie, and it also happened with Tae not that long ago.

—Wow, I didn't remember you being this fast.

I roll my eyes, laying my back on the backrest while I wait for him to start speaking.

—I know why you're doing what you're doing —he starts—. After everything that happened to you, it's understandable that you now want to set some space between Y/n and you. Trust me, I completely get it.

—But?

—As a therapist, I'll tell you it's the best thing you can do for her. She had too much going on lately, and being close to you only would create a deeper attachment, that could also end bad when she overcomes everything. It could end bad, but it could also end okay though —he reminds me—. But as your friend... Don't do this to yourself.

—What am I doing?

—Distancing Y/n from you, finding an excuse not to feel bad if she rejects you. You're hiding behind this, lying to yourself with false security. You think you'll be okay, because you were the one who took the decision. It's better than falling completely for her, and then being heartbroken unexpectedly.

—That's not what's happening.

—It's not? —he arches his eyebrows, looking at me attentively— I've known you for long enough to know you're all in for this girl, and you're scared she might run away at any point. But if you want me to be honest: that's love —he shrugs—. You bet, you play, and only then you'll know if the bet was worth it or not. You can't expect to get something if you aren't the one playing, because the bet will never favor you then.

—She needs...

—How do you know what she needs? —he interrupts me— Because that's what Areum made you believe years ago? Because it's what Leslie told you when she cheated on you? Don't say what Y/n needs, when it's actually your need to convince yourself you aren't that attached emotionally. Stop being a dickhead —he squints his eyes—. She might be here for you now, but she might end up leaving. Y/n wants a relationship... with you, Jungkook. And if you keep pushing her away and she meets someone else, you'll be the only one to blame. Not her feelings, or the deal. Because you're the only one doing everything to push her.

—You were the one who told me it'd be a good idea for the two of us.

—Because when you called me, you made it seem as if she had said something about it first.

And he might be right.

While we were still with her parents, and when she was busy talking with them, I moved to a small room to call Jimin and ask him for his opinion regarding our whole situation. I might've kept some information to myself, because I remember I told him Y/n was biased because of the deal, and Jimin gave me the best advice he could with that little information. When actually, it was just me overthinking it after talking with her father.

—Still, you shouldn't have given me professional advice without all the information.

—Jungkook —Jimin warns—, I'll knock you out with no regrets. It was your fault, not mine or Y/n's, so put a solution to the mess "you" created. I really don't know what the fuck you were thinking. Asking for advice when you didn't even talk to her first...

✸ ✸ ✸

After arguing back and forth on whether I would pick her up or not, I park my motorbike in front of her pub.

She's so stubborn. If she had allowed me to take her to work, she wouldn't have hurt herself on her way to the gallery. But it's not like I have room to talk, I'm just like her when I get an idea stuck in my head.

Just look at the bullshit I got myself in now.

All those thoughts disappear when I see her, back facing the door, while I walk to her as carefully as I can before I cover her eyes. It doesn't go like I imagined, with her giggling and turning to me, instead I feel the air leaving my body when her elbow hits my stomach dryly.

—Shit, cocktease —I complain out of breath.

—Oh my god, sorry —she turns to me—. I thought it was someone else.

—I told you I was coming to pick you up, who else would be coming here?

—Anyone? The door was open.

She isn't wrong though.

She moves her hands over my body, hesitantly touching some spots in my back to comfort me, before she just starts stroking it up and down while she waits for me to recover.

—I'm sorry —she apologizes.

—You should kiss it better if you really are —I finally look at her, showing her a funny smile.

—Asshole —she hits my arm, scoffing when I'm standing straight again.

—I was kidding —I grimace, remembering the pain—, not really. Do you have something else to do here?

—Just moving those boxes to the backstore —she points to the couple of boxes near the door.

Although I don't even let her finish before I walk toward them and pick them up to place them where she tells me.

—I could've done that.

—Oh right, I forgot The Rock almost broke my ribs five minutes ago —I mock her.

Judging how her wound is still in a delicate state, I can't believe how she's here working and doing all of this.

She chuckles, picking all of her things so we can both leave. While getting closer to my motorbike, I remember how I had it all figured out so her hand won't hurt -or, at least, not as much as if she had to use the strength in it to grab me.

Unlike other times, I hop on the motorbike first, sitting on the spot she usually takes, leaving the spot in front of me for her. I tap on the leather, motioning her to sit there.

—This is an awful idea —she warns, walking to it.

—Just trust me.

She hops on it, just like I asked her. To be able to see the road, I brush her hair to the side, causing her to arch her back slightly when I rub the tip of my fingers on her skin. I go lower on her body, digging in her inner thighs on purpose, going up until I reach her hips. Carefully, I drag her body as close to the gas tank as possible. And I completely cage her between the motorbike and my body, when I stick my chest to her back.

—Legs here, and —I pick her calves, placing her feet on the mudguard— hands here —holding her wrists, I place them on the gas tank.

—This is the shittiest idea you've ever had —she reminds me.

Ignoring her, I adjust my body on hers, with my chin resting on her shoulder -feeling intoxicated by her floral scent at first.

—Don't move —I start the engine—. Can you do that for me?

She slowly nods, gulping hard and loudly, before I finally start moving the motorbike. I can tell she's scared at first, but slowly she gets used to the feeling, relaxing in my arms while she just enjoys the ride back home.

She doesn't move when I stop my motorbike in front of her building, she doesn't ask me to move either -and deep inside I hope she never does, honestly. Y/n slightly turns though, and I believe she might kiss me right now, but she just stares into my eyes.

—Good night, cocktease —I finally say.

Y/n blinks finally, moving her eyes to the floor before she tries her best at hopping off the bike. Although she can't leave this way. I hold her by the wrist fast, letting go of it when she turns to me.

—I'll pick you up tomorrow to take you to work.

—It's not necessary —she shakes her hands in the air—. It'll be just one more day.

—That's why I'll pick you up tomorrow —I smile without showing my teeth—. Imagine if you fall on the bus or get hit, and your stitches open up —I shake my head—. I'll take you to work.

—You're impossible —she sighs.

She turns on her feet, and as I see her body getting further, I think about everything I talked with Jimin. Maybe now should be the right time to confess, to stop all this nonsense. The way I call her name makes her stop on her tracks, turning to me again while she waits for what I have to say.

Jungkook, now.

Do it.

Now.

—There's no good night kiss? —I joke.

Dumbass.

While I want to tell her all of that, maybe right now isn't the best moment to do so. She looks tired from work, so it could be the best idea to do it when we both hang out specifically to talk about that.

—Nope.

—Come on —I say a bit louder.

I can feel my smile going wider when she walks to me. I'm all ready to feel her lips on mine, but I only feel them on my cheek.

—Seriously?

—For now, yes —she smiles at me.

—Y/n, you can't be serious.

—Good night, Kook —she says again, walking back to her building.

But I don't leave. I wait for her to get inside, making sure she's safe and sound before I start my motorbike again. A dumb giggle leaves my mouth when I see her fighting with her door, as usual, receiving another smile and wave before she finally gets in. 

[authorautumnbanks]

Accidentally Dating (8)

Summary: A series of accidental dates and meetings between Kagome and Satoru over the years.

Pairing: KagomexGojo

Series Master list

To say Satoru is pissed would be an understatement.

He is furious.

"Get up!" He barks out at InuYasha, who wipes the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sorry excuse for a demon."

InuYasha glares, but his ears droop. "It was an accident…I didn't know."

"She's missing half of her soul! You think I want an apology?" Satoru advances. Fuck this. Fuck him. And fuck his sorry ass apology.

"Enough," Father commands. "Both of you." He strolls forward and stands between them on the training grounds.

"What are you even doing here?" Satoru mutters. Doesn't his dad have other things to do, like running Mom around on her errands? That's all he does these days.

"Putting a stop to this foolishness." Father crosses his arms. Satoru squints. Are those marks on his chest? Did he get into a fight? Father normally wears his tops more open, except for today.

"Butt outta it," InuYasha grumbles, stumbling to his feet. "It's complicated, alright."

"The hell it is! You think I care about some dead bitch?"

"HEY!" Father pins him with a glare. "Watch your mouth. I don't care how angry you are."

"This dog boy," Satoru spats out. "Is fine with his zombie girlfriend walking around with half of Kagome's soul, and you're okay with that?"

"No. I never said it was okay, but beating InuYasha isn't going to solve anything, and Kagome will be upset when she hears what you've done."

"She'll get over it."

Father sighs and drags a hand down his face. "And how do you propose you get the rest of her soul back if you can't go down the well?"

Satoru flinches. That's a sore spot and father knows it. That stupid well only lets Kagome and InuYasha pass through.

"Keh, Kagome's fine wit' it. She said so."

"InuYasha, stop talking," Father sighs. "Your mother would be upset to hear you two fighting and no, she would not get over it."

InuYasha flushes. His cheeks are stained pink.

Satoru scowls. Of course, Mom took InuYasha in. She has a thing for strays. They don't need any more family members.

Ito rushes over with a medical kit in hand. InuYasha rolls his eyes and shrugs her away.

"He stinks," Satoru declares.

InuYasha lifts his arm and smells. "I don't stink."

"You smell like dog."

"I am a dog!"

"A mongrel."

InuYasha growls, barring his teeth. "Yeah, and dogs are carnivorous."

"ENOUGH!" Father booms, grabbing InuYasha by the ear.

Satoru smirks.

Father drags InuYasha towards him and grabs his ear, too.

"Oi! Satoru and InuYasha complain. They look at one another and snarl.

"You're both feral children," Father complains. "Ito Fetch one of the drivers and tell him to ready the car."

"We goin' to the shrine?" InuYasha asks. "I can run there faster than some stupid car."

"No, you two are doing a mission. Together."

"Hell no. I don't need his help taking out a curse."

"If it ain't got a shard, I don't care about it."

"Funny," Father drawls, "I don't recall asking either of you your opinion."

"You can't be serious!" Satoru tries to jerk free, but his father grips his ear tighter. "I don't need to learn how to work with him. InuYasha isn't a sorcerer."

Father ignores him and drags them out of the training grounds, past some guards and servants, and down to where the car is. One thing Satoru will say about Ito is she knows how to hustle and she takes her job seriously. It would be nice if she stopped taking orders from the old man since she's supposed to be his attendant.

Ito bows and then stops in front of Satoru. He rubs his ear and huffs. Why is he being dragged into this? Seriously? A mission together? What good will that do? What if he accidentally shoots off a red and InuYasha gets caught in the crosshairs? Satoru covers his mouth with his hand, hiding the smirk.

Doesn't sound like a bad idea. InuYasha allowed some witch to get close enough to Kagome and take her soul. And this isn't even the first time that he let something happen to Kagome after he promised to protect her.

"Satoru-sama," Ito whispers. "I have procured an archery teacher for Kagome."

Satoru cuts his eyes towards her and nods. Good. That's what he's talking about. Efficient. He climbs into the backseat and spreads out his legs. InuYasha growls and spreads his legs out too.

"Don't make me bind you two together," Father warns from the front seat. "Knock it off."

Bind?

Satoru gags. "InuYasha isn't a sorcerer. Don't know if he can even do anything to curses."

"Good thing you'll be there to watch your brother's back then."

"HE'S NOT MY BROTHER!" Satoru and InuYasha shout. They glance at one another and scowl.

Satoru lies his head on the window and stares out. He has nothing more to say. This is the worst. Now he and InuYasha are speaking at the same time. What's next? Brotherly bonding? Disgusting.

"You guys are…back?" Kagome stops right in front of the Goshinboku and her mouth drops.

"Keh," InuYasha says. "Let's get goin'. Tired of being in this time. It stinks."

"You're smelling yourself," Satoru deadpans, wincing slightly. His muscles ache. That mission should have been classified as a special grade one. Whoever scoped out the area and assigned the grade should be fired or forced to do one themselves because what the hell. His Father is strong, but even he would have had difficulty with that mission.

Not that he's going to praise InuYasha for his help, because he's not.

Kagome rolls her eyes. "I'm not going back today. I have a test in the morning. But why do you two look so beat up?" She crosses her arms. The pink sweater looks nice on her, naturally. He had Ito buy it for her.

"Mission," Satoru says, "It wasn't classified correctly. But it's fine. We handled it."

"Yeah, that fucker was annoying." InuYasha mirrors Kagome and crosses his arms. "Kept multiplying and shit."

"Good job sniffing him out, though," Satoru says with a yawn. "It was far more intelligent than some of the other curses."

"Too smart," InuYasha agrees. "Thought they were all mindless. The ones I've seen in my time are nothing more than insects."

"What? So, you have seen some?" Satoru turns to InuYasha. That means InuYasha's time is a part of this world. But if that's the case, where the hell are these demons, then? He'll never admit it out loud, but InuYasha isn't weak. A full-fledged demon must be even stronger.

"Only a few over the century. There were a lot of them in the estate and some villages have some roaming around, but no one seems to notice em."

"Estate? Wait, are you from a clan?"

InuYasha flushes. "Mom got kicked out for sleeping with a demon. Father was some great dog demon or whatever. A general."

Satoru scratches his cheek. "Then why are you so uncouth?"

"Oi!" InuYasha lunges at him and because Satoru still has some fight in him, he keeps infinity off and goes after InuYasha, too.

"Are you two serious right now?" Kagome asks. "Unbelievable."

"Wait!" Satoru punches InuYasha and the cheek right as InuYasha lands a punch on him. "Where are you going?"

"Away from you two. You two fight like siblings, and I don't want that rubbing off on Sota."

"Keh. He started it."

"You threw the first punch," Satoru jabs. "Anyway, where's Mom? I'm hungry." He stretches his arms. Nothing beats Mom's cooking. The cooks at the estate need to take lessons from her.

Kagome squints at them. "She grabbed her purse and left as soon as you guys got here."

She did?

InuYasha sniffs the air. "Old man ain't here either. Guess they went somewhere together."

"They're always together," Satoru huffs.

"Well…Gramps is making dinner tonight."

InuYasha and Satoru both gag. "We're good." They look at one another and sigh. This is getting old. InuYasha needs to go back to his time. They are clearly spending too much time together these days. And he is so over it.

"What's wrong with Gramp's cooking?"

"What isn't wrong with his cooking?" Satoru pulls out his phone. "We can just have Ito come by and make something."

"Absolutely not. Leave that poor woman alone. She needs a break from you."

"First of all," Satoru says, rolling his eyes. "I'm a joy."

InuYasha snorts.

"Second, Ito doesn't want me to die of food poisoning, so she would be more than happy to come out here and cook for all of us."

"Your stomach is that weak? Keh."

Satoru blinks slowly at InuYasha. "Says the dude that can't handle certain smells without passing out."

"I'm a dog!"

"Yeah, and dogs sleep outside."

Kagome sighs. "I'll just leave you two to it."

Satoru snaps his attention to Kagome's retreating form. He jogs to catch up to her with InuYasha not far behind him. "Wait, what if I cook instead? It can't be that hard."

InuYasha laughs.

Kagome trips and almost falls over, but he catches her around the waist.

"You cook?"

"It can't be that hard." He pouts.

InuYasha continues to crackle in the background. Satoru glares at him over his shoulder. Will he knock it off? He can cook. It's not that hard to throw some stuff on the stove.

"This I gotta see. You? Fancy boy, cooking?" InuYasha doubles over and pretends to wipe a tear from his eyes.

"Like you can do any better. You can't even use a remote properly."

"Oi!" InuYasha pushes a sleeve back and shakes a fist. "I bet I can do better than whatever crap you conjure up."

"You challenging me?"

Kagome sighs again. "You two fight like cats and dogs." She walks away again, shrugging Satoru's hold off.

InuYasha smirks. "Yeah, and dogs eat cats."

Satoru clucks his tongue. "How about I knock all your teeth out?" They butt heads, snarling at one another.

"Oh, Mom won't like it if you guys get blood on the shrine grounds," Kagome calls.

They jump back from one another, cross their arms, and huff. Whatever. InuYasha isn't worth the effort, anyway.

***

A/N: Happy Saturday! Suguru's chapter will be next :)

Kagome's grade will for sure be a lot better this time around and Syouma has pulled some strings to keep her out of trouble with the school, so Gramps doesn't get to make up nearly as many diseases as he did in canon lol. Next update will be Wish I Could. Not sure what date that will be coming out.

So this question was more general: "What's going on with your reviewers It's not normal and scary, both for you and for your devoted reviewer. Don't let yourself be peer pressured into writing like this." - I'm not quite sure what you mean by this. Everyone's been awesome and you guys have me cracking up in the reviews. I do appreciate the concern and I want to stress that I'm not being peer pressured into anything. Writing the fanfics is fun for me. It feels like an escape. And if I'm being really honest, me writing the fanfics is me procrastinating lol.

Stay safe! Make sure you are watching/reading/etc things that fill your well. Drink plenty of water and gets lots of rest. Below is a snippet of some original stuff I have procrastinated on lol:

"Here," he holds out his hand.

I gag. "Is that a heart? Are you insane?"

He tilts his head to the left. "You need to eat. Do you not want it? It's from a dark mage."

"I don't care how hungry I am. I am not eating a heart. Or any thing raw."

He shrugs and bites into it.

Oh I'm going to be sick.

"They're looking for you," he says in between bites.

"What? Who?"

"The undead of course. They have orders. But why you?"

"Your humor sucks."

"How strange, every female I have entertained has complimented me on my humor."

What is my life right now? "Perhaps they didn't want to insult your dick then?" Objectively, he's attractive. So it can't be his looks. Though his personality is kinda sucky.

His brows pinch together. "Cocks." Roharu turns away and licks the blood off his hand.

Cocks? As in plural?

"Why would the undead want you?"

I blow out a breath. "I've never seen an undead. The closest I've gotten to the dead is a tombstone."

[sadisthetic]

Dude your Jaya hanahakai au is everything. If you're not gonna write that uhhhh can I???? 'Cause it's so creative and intricate. Utter genius bro

Also I really love the unrequited/stay friends ending and the requieted ending. They're both just so good and so well thought out (i also dont want jay to die lmao). Also YES!!! GIVING NYA AGENCY!! You put so much consideration into her feelings and it's making me bark like a feral little dog. Like the worst thing about skybound is how it treats Nya as a character and I just shhdjdjd. This is driving me insane. Ninjago's writing makes me ill but yours has me on my knees.

THANK YOU.............. DRAMATICALLY FALLS TO MY HANDS AND KNEES..... SWEET FEEDBACK AND BOOST TO MY EGO.... i was insane while writing that entire au too.

ALSO ITS FUNNY... I WROTE SO MUCH ABOUT NYAS FEELINGS IN THIS AU BECAUSE IT WAS ENTIRELY NECESSARY. LIKE. I HAD TO. especially for requited end. i knew when i got to that point in the story where i had to address i knew it in my heart that this was like. the most important part. nyas feelings are so important in this au.... and i knew without proper explanation/justification of nyas feelings of why she falls in love with jay again the au Simply Would Not Work. all that consideration is me doing the intense relationship math (math? i dunno. its a process of some sort.) TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE THEM WORK. because if anything. jaya should is a relationship that requires work. not effortless in the slightest.

i love jaya. its technically a terrible romance. fucking absolutely wretched and tormented by obligatory heterosexual writing. it only exists because straight writers Have to write het tax into their shows for some goddamn reason. but also. its the ship of all time. its because im delusional and have thought about it so much and put so much thought into how their relationship should BE and also wrote so much meta and shit to fill in the massive gaps in their relationship that canon doesnt address or skips over. YOU SEE JAYA IS ACTUALLY SO FUCKING INTERESTING AS A RELATIONSHIP. ITS SO INTERESTING BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY ACTUALLY HAVE VERY LITTLE CHEMISTRY AS COUPLE. AND YET AND YET AND YET. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. THEY GET TOGETHER ON SUPERFICIAL TERMS. THEY BREAK UP. THEY GET TOGETHER AGAIN. BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. in my eyes they arent a perfect match for each other. actually. thats literally canon. jay isnt nyas perfect match (god i think about s3 so fucking much i hate it) but they love each other anyways and end up together in the end despite the things theyve gone through. i think theres something real about that. love that is mismatched and tried but they Work through it anyways. thats romance baby. theres something very romantic about love that takes effort (is the guy who is putting all the effort into the ship) (very delusional) (but very self aware about it)

jaya is like. a brain teaser. its like a fun puzzle for my brain to solve (fix) because its such a travesty in canon. the gordians knot of ninjago ships. i love thinking about it so much. i thought about it so much ive tricked myself into becoming a massive shipper who screams whenever they do something cute together

oh fuck im sorry i forgot to answer your question bc i got so fucking heated about jaya. its because im insane about them. it just happened. fuck. jaya............................ i love divorce...... anyways

YES you can write my au. because i certainly dont have the stamina to do it myself. i would like if you credited me for the idea tho if youre gonna use my plot beats. but otherwise? Feel Free. go nuts. i love fanfiction. i always think of my stories as fanfic anyways and man i sure do wish i could read my own au as a fic. but i lack the capacity to write this beast of an au in full. so like. someone else might as well. if you do. have fun

[lavender-long-stories]

Nari's Feral on Display Part 2

spoilers for Lavender Clouds

Can we just appreciate that Nari’s second Lavender Clouds' first comment was soo long and unhinged that they had to put it in two comments?

Mild disclaimer Nari references chapter 11 which is no longer chapter 11 since the rewrite. Ignore the numbers here.

Kisame [...] did such a number on me I couldn't possibly predict he would become the family's official favorite uncle, and yet (and yet I got another ship, even though I already have so many. Hinata's harem keeps getting bigger)

You and me both. T-T KisaHina might be one of my favorites that came out of Lavender Clouds and they were very much not romantic here. I just love their soft dynamic so damn much. 

I absolutelly love how Hinata can be such a mom to these grown ass terrorists.

She really is. I think the best thing is it’s not even out of character for her. She is trying to do her job which is caring for them and there is no other way for her to do it. She isn’t going to threaten them, she is going to scold them.

Also: Itachi respecting her, Hinata feeling proud of herself because of him, Kisame letting her do her thing. The three of them were my favorites from the start, right up until the end. [...] The three of them were just so comfortable to have around, and it felt like such a huge thing when they weren't there all the time anymore.

I need to write so much more of this dynamic of the three of them because I love it so much. Kisame being a protective big brother to Hinata, except when she is mothering him when he is hurt or she is feeding him. Itachi and Hinata being soft and understanding of each other. Itachi and Kisame leveling on being concerned about Hinata. GAH! I need to write more of the three of them.

I think you are really talented writing comfort stuff, because when you make your characters care for each other you make us readers care for them in return, and the hardest thing in writing a good story (to me, at least) is to make characters human enough and to give - or reproduce - their personalities well enough, and you can do that so nicely, even when they get a little out of character you can still pull that off because you give them humanity and reason to do so. 

Not the best compliment being dropped in the middle of a paragraph like it’s going to make my entire heart melt less. I am going to go die happy now, thank you. T-T

“You’re a regular housewife.” SO? SHE'S KEEPING YOU ALIVE, DIPSHIT. [...] It's really cute how Kisame went from "I don't trust you, I will end you" to "You're useful" to "I would die for you" so quickly, the three stages of adopting a missing-nin.

Well after making me cry we are back to the chaos. I love Kisame’s teasing. 

Kisame is the dad who says ‘we are not keeping the dog’ and ends up the one bonded with it.

Hidan mocking Hinata when he first showed up is just so funny to me, not only because he will have his ass handed to him, but because he also becomes an uncle. Fuck you, Hidan.

Hidan and Hinata’s relationship is wonderful because I think Hidan brings pain-in-the-ass big brother energy and Hinata gets to actually have some fun with him when he’s around, and she’s not sewing his limbs back on.

Do you know that feeling when amazing fictional locations are destroyed? That feeling of hopelessness, even though the places do not exist, but the memories in there are just as strong as if they're real? I feel that a lot, because I think the memories are what build a home. Hinata's little cottage was a home, as well as a bribe, and everyone had a good time in there. It's so bittersweet. I think her house was a character just as any other, because it had a personality and served a purpose just like any other. Seeing it again and knowing they will need to move on eventually hits really hard.

Ugh T-T Destroying the cottage gave me retiring the Going Merry flashbacks.

 Anyway, Akatsuki could totally be a real state agency, it seems.

Head cannon request: Do you think the Akatsuki owned it before asking Hinata to join or bought it to bribe Hinata after the found out she was available? O.O?

I love it when Hinata is missing having people around and thinks "hey maybe I shouldn't be emotionally dependent on criminals" and then she gets emotionally dependent on them anyway.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t become emotionally dependent on the men who keep coming back with their organs falling out and limbs missing possibly due to people I knew and loved there is no way that can end well.’

Oh yeah, I meant to ask you something when I first read. The books Pein gave her for her research were previously owned by Tobi? He talks about his later on, about the research being compromised. I thought the icky feeling she had was because the books were owned by Orochimaru, since he is a fucked up psychopath who was part of Akatsuki before.

So all the research is collected by Tobi. Some of what he tells Hinata is lies that’s why that might not be clear, but he does say to Hinata (in their final conversation) that he collected all her research. Most of the research pre-dates Orochimaru, but some of it may have come from him without him signing his name.

Thank you for introducing the art of killing people by Hinata's pretty hands too, it gave me life and joy and happiness and I twirled my hair and giggled a lot :D

I never did come up with a name for the technique because I refuse to call it ‘violent fist’ like my husband suggested. -.-

SASORI AND DEIDARA ARE HERE, FINALLY. LAV, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I COULD WRITE YOU A FUCKING ESSAY ABOUT THEM AND NEVER SHUT UP ANYMORE.

Bring it on bestie.

 I think Sasori was just so fucking confused. I also think it's funny how what made it for him, regarding Hinata, was pretty much what did it for Gaara in [Lavender Sand]: being treated gently not because she was wary of them, but because she saw them as deserving of it as any other person. She saw both of them as people and treated them as such, and it really did a number on them. Funny, considering how Gaara and Sasori behave about each other in here.

Hinata basically wins over everyone like this, just seeing people for who they are and treating them like they are people. Gaara and Sasori both suffer from the emotional damage of falling in love with the woman they can’t be with who treated them like human beings for the first time. T-T

You said it was rough to not make Sasohina and, well... yeah. It was hard on me too because how dare you make Sasori such a complex and interest character, the travesty. The travesty in giving him something he could only long for and never truly have because he isn't like the other men around. He kind of had her, and he decided to stay even though it hurt emotionally, because in the end having something bittersweet was better than having nothing at all after all the love and care. It really hurt because you made them care for each other so much, in Hinata learning about him and how to help him (as she did to everyone) and him taking care of her in his own way. I never expected Sasori in here. I never expected him to be a possibility.

I have admitted this a few times. If I were to write Lavender Clouds today, it would have been SasoHina because they just had so much chemistry, and it would have been perfect to have her go with one half of the love triangle between her, Gaara, and Sasori.

I need to write another fic with them because I just love their dynamic so much, one of them always teaching the other something. (Maybe another GaaHinaSaso because I love to make myself feel pain.)

Sasori trying to be an authority and getting beaten down by Hinata’s reasoning. Sasori gives up so early to not express his affection because he knows he’s no longer human and believes he can’t offer her a normal relationship, but the biggest tragedy is that if Hinata had known this probably would have ended SasoHina because Hinata would not care about him not being human or his true age.

"Deidara acted like a civilian teenager, flirting, rebelling, and throwing tantrums, especially when she told him how long she would keep him. No one in the Akatsuki had any patience at all. He was also rather sweet, passionate, and funny." And it fucks me from behind. This Barbie son of a whore was so suicidal and loathed himself so much it became narcissism. It seems like with Deidara, in canon, he never felt like he was enough to a point where he just wanted to be remembered when he died. You gave him a reason to stay, you got him coming back too. Being alive might not have worked in the long run, but at least to me, it felt like you respected him and did him some justice. I'm thankful to you for being good to him. I cried a lot about him.

God damn it Nari ‘This Barbie son of a whore’ had me rolling. 

Deidara and Hinata probably had the least interaction (until he came back, if you know, you know) but they were cute, and he was excited to come home and have someone like his work and appreciate his birds. He was remembered, he can be sure of that.

To be honest I cried very often. I cried every 3 chapters, I think. 

I am not sure if I just personally hit you in the emotions, or if you just cry a lot and after knowing you for a while I am still not sure XD

This is about all of the "what could have been". I'm totally unhealthy about how much out of time Hinata was in here. Out of time with her loved ones, never reaching when she could, never having enough time with them. She lost Naruto before even having him, she lost the possibility of Gaara, she lost Itachi when he was within reach, she lost Sasori to things that weren't their fault and happened before her time. It kills me, it fucking obliterates me, that her time was made of missing chunks of things that never came to be, of flowers that never grew, of impossible possibilities. I thought she didn't have as much chemistry with Sasuke as she had with her other possibilities, but what made it truly work for them imo was that Sasuke was just there at the right time. He stayed. Even when they thought they'd lost each other they didn't because they were in the right time, for once, and they didn't want to let it go.

I think this is the true secret to the final ship of this story. Hinata knew that her and Gaara would never last. Itachi never gave her a chance to think of him that way because he knew he would break her heart. Sasori kept quiet because he knew he wasn’t human. Hinata had given up on love and would have really taken anything and Sasuke was consistent and was waiting for her when she got back. 

A lot of IRL relationships are like this. Think of all the people you may have missed just because of the timing or the missing the person you are with now because you didn’t take the chance or didn’t show up to that event.

Diving into the second message, buckle up.

I went back to ffnet yesterday after leaving the second comment because I wanted to give Lavender Umbrella a chance and it made me realize stuff and I'm totally going insane. 

Live footage of Nari discovering the Lavender-verse.

You created your own little world inside your stories, you have the characters humanity and you gave them things to enjoy and care about, and you worked those things in your other works. Gaara and his thing about hugging Hinata and hiding in her tummy in Lavender Sand, Kisame enjoying the cooking and being taken care of in Lavender Umbrella, Itachi in Testing Success being a stable source of comfort and tranquility even in his worst moments, Sasuke being weirdly good with kids and having a good head on his shoulders when it comes to help Hinata because he cares about her and doesn't expect shit in return in What He Left Behind. It is too soon to analyze Death Wishes and I haven't read Wheels and Lavender Memories yet, but you are solid with your description of their core traits and it is so nice.

Let me die happy right here with the best compliments ever.

A personal love I have with writing fan fiction is I can pluck a character or character dynamics out of one story and plop it into another situation, and it makes a whole new story. 

Kisame and Hinata’s absolute tooth-rotting fluff of their need to take care of each other. 

Gaara not understanding but desperately wanting to take Hinata’s comfort and affection. 

Itachi constantly being bitch with a plan that causes problems for everyone and him not backing down on it. 

Sasuke calm when Hinata is panicking or spiraling and Hinata’s calm when Sasuke is being erratic or angry. 

(And now since it came out but they weren’t at the time of this comment) Hidan being loosely respectful of Hinata’s authority because he either feels like he needs her (medic) or because he doesn’t want to lose the one person who treats him nicely (which is most of the reason most of my pairings happen).

Btw, stop killing Itachi.

Hey… I technically, I have only killed him once if you count Death Wishes as him not being dead. There are several stories set after his death (because of where the story falls in cannon) but I don’t think that counts. I think I plenty of room to kill more. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think he was already dead in the moment he resigned to it, to be honest. And I think Hinata knew that too. 

Is accepting that you are going to die part of death itself - and other spooky thoughts I probably shouldn’t be asking myself.

There were several moments I think he wanted to kiss her [...] I think it was the moment it hit Itachi how much he trusted her. 

This is interesting to me, I would love know when these moments are. Lets talk I want all the head cannons.

He was also with a foot in the grave and still went for the base with Hidan for her, I will KILL ALL OF THE WINDOWS IN THE WORLD-

Hahahahahahahah

Kisame's hugs. Kisame's hugs and Kisame being lovely. And Kisame's tenderness. Kisame in general, just Kisame. And cuddles. I'm having a stroke, do you feel me? I developed such and attachment to a dude 

THIS This is why I needed Lavender Umbrellas to exist.

now I want to lick his face.

ಠ~ಠ Nari sometimes I question you. XD

Lavender Clouds

Pairing: Sasuke x Hinata Rating: T

Description: Hinata runs away from home into the arms of the Akatsuki. Bonds with Itachi. Saves his brother. Learns to reverse Gentle Fist. Raises a demon baby?

Tags: Adventure  |  Fluff and Angst  |  Romance  |  Slow Burn  |  Happy Ending  |  Akatsuki Hyuuga Hinata  |  Hyuuga Hinata-centric  |  Akatsuki Uchiha Sasuke  |  Canon-Typical Violence

@nikandrros

[cryptid-killjoy]

HC: Willem

The first thing Willem does before going back to Nola (as he only learns of the new name upon entrance when Delta gives them a welcome speech is get Figaro Valentine gifts from the outside a little worried after all Delta’s warnings about not getting out and how it’s changed of what they’ll have available to them. He’s not sure what they can loot, use, or ship in, or what kind of survivor population is there. So, he purchases Valentine chocolates Figaro before going in just in case. 

He’d make Diana a box for Valentine’s Day. Nothing too fancy. Just a hinge box, but lined nicely, good for storing jewelry or her eyes and other doo dads. 

He’d even get Hansel two new V-day lady pack of cards with hearts on them. It’s a bit of novelty now that’s he’s gotten him so many, but as a welcome home and Happy Valentines, nostalgia of their friendship, it just felt right. So to make it funny one had real ladies and the other had cartoon ladies like Betty Boop and Jessica Rabbit hoping he’d get a kick out of it and a laugh. 

He’ll also try to take notes from Valerie anything Diana might have mentioned in their dress up sessions to help inspire him for her since she had so much time with a real life woman, not a doll, no offense Figaro. Not that Diana and Valerie have the fashion sense but neither do Fig and Diana. So without Gep and the more official seamstress / tailor / fashion designer person of the house for the dolls he wanted to pick up on anything and everything that might have leaked in those girly time sessions she piqued interest in. 

He will also write a very detailed letter detailing everything Scout and GoGo need to know about Parrish and his family. He really does not want them caught off guard with this guy so it will have a history of every doll and their personality and life history with the man including maintenance issues and tech problems, the best way to handle and approach, and even speak, when to in third person or directly to him, but knows they’ll have to get a feel for it when they meet them. (I’ll try to actually write this letter later in brief form but Willem’s would be overwhelmingly long like a flight manual) Scout will see on her desk after Willem leaves like what the fuck did I just get myself into? 

Saying goodbye to Young Gep would have been the hardest. He’d make sure he had knew to make a copy of the manual not that he didn’t know his job. After a handshake he’d wish him fair winds forever and always until their return. Then he wouldn’t be able to stop him and just throw around a big ol’ hug because that’s Will. 

Then the first thing Willem will do since they don’t enter through Funkytown is run to check on his favorite dog walking dog. The owner sadly had died with Horned King army and poor old McStinkeye was not very McGruff and very scared, hungry, and all alone when he was reunited with the pirate. It was even hard to identify the right home with all the structural changes but he found it. He obviously had to take McStinkeye McGruff back to Funkytown with them. But this will make it dawn on him that old Stinkers there can’t be the only abandoned pet after these deaths in this empty city. Some might not have lasted. It’s going to feel like a job for the Rescue Rangers. But they weren’t here right now.  Feral is a big place for just him and Figaro to go combing through. Hell, he and Smalls would probably both realize it at the same time the moment they found this dog how many others there could be. He’s going to look at Smalls like damn, “We have a big job ahead of us.” 

Then of course when he gets back to Funkytown he’ll be greeting every single doll individually, not one left unaccounted so happy to finally see all his favorite “people” in the whole word. Hansel back in his own walls is beautiful. Willem is ready for bloody V-day movie marathon on their own tv in their own living room where they belong with Slips eating his favorite order of pizza like it’s supposed to be. No offense honeymoon suite. 

[ladyimaginarium]

man ....... my& founders era first generation jinchuriki oc's were literally SOOOOOOO fucking iconic i& CAAAAAAAANT

they rly were iconic plural representation b4 i& even knew i& was a s.ystem. im& so sad i& never got to explore them more but like. i& love them sm. like.

fusa arashi is the first kazekage's bastard daughter by a tribeswoman in the country & grew up on the streets of sunagakure & she made friends with these street dogs that she made her familiars then she had to like. compete with her legitimate siblings to gain her father's affections & she's forced to be the jinchuriki of shukaku against her will to become the country's pride & weapon & she's literally like. 13-14 when all this is happening. a litcheral child. she rly was so iconic. she was called the wild child & then eventually the desert rose. she'd like. never sleep bc shukaku doesnt let her. she'd have all these fancy fuinjutsu & would seal bitches in sandcastles & have all these wack ass wind jutsu strong enough to level small sections of forests ( & a funny scene in my& head is that whenever she sneezes ppl literally get knocked over if they're too close to her lmao ) & have a sense of smell similar to a bloodhound & bc her mother's tribe were expert hunters she'd be insanely good at hunting & tracking people down similar to a sensory nin & she could like absorb things into her skin & she'd have this summoning contract of raccoon dogs & use her dogs from the streets as familiars & her own personal service dogs & use feral taijutsu attacks like a dog would & much like her future successor gaara used her sand as the ultimate defense.

nii tora was a liberator & she was this warrior princess who led her people to safety in the warring era & then allied w/ the senju to take back her lands & now she's the trusted adviser to the raikage & she willingly took on the role of jinchuriki to matatabi. & my girl was going OFF !!!! she was out here w/ the whole claws & everything & spitting out blue fire & just. overall using blue fire techniques that couldn't be put out with water & was one of the fastest kunoichi in the world & was out here being so iconic bc she's litcherally married to ANOTHER jinchuriki the raikage's brother lmaoooo

yuki shiro was out here being a pirate lord & the lastborn son of the first mizukage & a princess from the yuki clan & he was born albino & thus bc of superstition was seen as like. this dark omen by the entire country & this mf..... this mf deadass went up to his father & was like "aiight since y'all fucking HATE ME SO MUCH i'll be your monster" & took the jinchuriki role w/ pride & he was out here killing his siblings in a civil war & raided across the world & he was actually a major key player in the destruction of uzushiogakure aka the reason why kushina, nagato & karin & to an extent naruto himself dont have a country no more. rip btw his partner is another jinchuriki who's nonbinary & they're. super fucking gay together. & like. not only did this mf have ice release but this mf also had coral manipulation techniques & could like. use shell techniques & his skin was TOUGH

terumi akane..... she's a literal bombshell ilhsm. she a baddie that will Never take no for an answer. she was out here being this. like. spy/assassin & was one of the greatest taijutsu practitioners in the world & her era & willingly took the duty of jinchuriki with her adopted brother head on. she was out here with all these insane green fire techniques & could also use lava release but being the jinchuriki of son goku made it that much more crazy powerful & could make magma armor to protect herself & could also use different variants of lava like strong acidic mud to hot molten rocks to quicklime whether corrosive or noncorrosive to vulcanized rubber stuff to melting flames to ashes.... all in HEELS. she really was That Bitch TM

goemon ishimaru is akane's younger adopted brother. he's a hardhead & ngl a fun loving chaotic dumbass but we love him 4 it. he was on a three man team w/ himself, akane & onoki. he was also the physically strongest member of his village. literally the only reason why he took the role of jinchuriki was because his older sister didn't have to feel alone in the world. he had. insanely massive superhuman strength & could use steam techniques from boil release that could give him even more strength that rivals gyuki the 8 tails & he could also use it to burn & melt surroundings & could use steam armor & he also had horns from kokuo if he chose to. so. yeah thats smth lmfao

homatsu mizuto is shiro's enbyfriend. they were a broke ass enby w/ no lands or titles & would always just... wander the docks & watch the ships pass & they were basically shiro's only friend growing up. literally the only reason why they took the place of jinchuriki was because they didn't want shiro to feel alone in the world & the thrill of adventure. literally everybody thought they were insane but shiro liked them so that's all that mattered. they're literally that meme of the stick people killing people brutally & also the other meme of a neurodivergent stickperson jumping off the walls..... yeah. they also helped shiro w/ the destruction of uzushio. they, like utakata, could use bubble techniques & could use acid techniques in both gaseous & liquid forms that could burn through most materials in seconds & could also like develop this mucus that could immobilize its victims & also use poison techniques. we love 2 see it.

tamamushi takiko was actually kakuzu's apprentice. she was sold to a pleasurehouse by broke parents until kakuzu bought her freedom & set her free. the takikage had other plans for her tho... & that involved becoming the jinchuriki of chomei. kakuzu was her only companion. sure he was a grumpy asshat but she didn't mind. but she's. surprisingly still a really sweet person despite everything. she'd have all these insect techniques like developing chitin to be used as lil weapons or surgical threads & develop an exoskeleton as a defense mechanism & be able to use a bifurcated horn when necessary & she could also molt & release pheromones for a variety of different purposes & was immune to diseases & poisons bc of insect immunity & like the bombardier beetle she had this spray technique that while mixing hydrogen peroxide quinone & her own chakra could be fired at enemies that was a scalding 100 degrees celsius & also have the ability to fly w/ these really pretty wings. she was there the day kakuzu tried to assassinate hashirama. she just rly was the sweetest person ever.

otenki b is tora's husband & we love him sm. he was out here being a great father, gladiator, warrior & revolutionary. very few truly knew his real name. he was his brother's right hand man thru & thru & most ppl to this day internally shit themselves even after he's dead. he was out here fighting the uchiha & was just that badass. he took his duty as a jinchuriki w/ pride & was out here doing black lightning techniques & could do all this crazy shit with swords & could do nintaijutsu & could surround himself in black lightning & bc he was gyuki's jinchuriki he could also do insane feats w/ his superhuman strength & also use ink techniques that could be used to create clones or blind enemies.

im& not gonna get into u.zumaki m.ito bc she's. not rly an oc she's a canon character lmfao but...... she was out here w/ chakra chains that could not only pulverize & beat the living shit out of u & would be capable of fighting a bijuu head on but can also bind & nullify ur chakra & the byakugou seal aka the pinnacle of chakra control, slug sage mode that allowed her to use slug senjutsu w/ acid techniques that could melt through rocks, all ur skin, muscle tissues & bones w/ ease & the nine tails chakra mode on top of that...... g-d help everyone.... mom come pick me up im scared lmao

& btw uh. since this is the founders era....... the og nine jinchuriki could use chakra modes willingly & could achieve partial transformation as well as just. full on transformation & merge w/ their tailed beasts so..... rip @ the entire world lmao

do not reblog unless you're a member of our& system.

[snootlessimperfectworld]

Silly Goofy Alignment Charts

No particular order, just as they come. Corny, outdated, just goofy

Key: A- For Aten H- For Hades Purple M- For Maxlar Green M- For Malvo Blue D- For Devon Magenta D- For Dot Yellow C- For Cyrus Dark Blue T- For Troy Gray T- For Titus

More information: Troy and Titus are twin brothers and are vampires. Titus is a normal dude, kinda, and Troy is a feral punk guy. They don't get along much any more. Cyrus is this really cool werewolf dude (he's got the sickest dreads too). Kind of an enigma to his friends, as well. I mentioned briefly about Dot on a post I reblogged from my main

One of the few things Malvo accomplishes when he disappears for long periods of time

Malvo is definitely still an asshole, but more reserved. Yes, he's intentionally somewhat in the evil category. He's a Demon you guys

Maxlar, an actual parent; a child! Aten: NO

Hades is just too anxious to babysit alone, and because Aten cannot be trusted with that job (he's too chaotic, it'd end in arson), he almost never watches the Whishling kiddos. Devon is just better at being the cool uncle than babysitting. Malvo is surprisingly good with kids. This fact breaks my heart :')

Dot and Devon are both smart just not always. Aten is very cunningly smart

Hmm yeah, pretty straightforward.

Malvo's a Demon. If I had Troy, Titus and Cyrus it'd be Cyrus on knows a few recipes, Troy is banned, and Titus made toast once for someone else

Devon and Dot being the biggest sweethearts <3 Malvo aggressively telling someone "Go to therapy" in that neutral yet condescending voice of his just hits different

Titus: *is a cop* His twin brother that would be identical if he wasn't a punk: ROB THE RICH Cyrus is just a cryptid, actually. They affectionately refer to him as their little wolf cryptid

Devon, a big intimidating dude just wanting to be kind, but everyone is afraid of him Hades: *on his last legs of sanity*

Hades: *has crippling anxiety/social anxiety* Malvo: *just simply hates everyone* If I had Troy, Titus, and Cyrus: Troy and Cy are Eat Ass, Suck a Dick, and Sell Drugs. Titus is there with Malvo

Hades: *struggling to run a kingdom in the midst of war* Dot's kindness is often mistaken for her liking them Devon is once again struggling from the cons of Scary Dog Privilege no one wants to talk about

Titus once again being a literal cop. Hades: *on the verge of tears because of this incident* Maxlar showing off his actually good musical skills The BoysTM are supporting him

Something about Aten being labeled as simply "piece of shit" makes me giggle every time I see it

Devon is my himbo and I love him so fucking much Hades experiencing ~trauma~

They all want to be optimists (except Malvo) but they've seen too much/been through too much to be chaotic about it :(

Without Dot because she is the opposite of problematic Maxlar: *is the reason there is an interdimensional war* Hades, Malvo, and Aten: *have some fucked up shit going on in the background*

Aten and Hades are both cold-natured so they almost always have the heat on and have so many blankets that Hades, rather than changing one of those things, just abandons pants. Aten abandons clothes anyways because of his wings and stuff. He's the big spoon :)

Maxlar and Troy being passionately stupid will never not be funny to me. Titus does not give a shit anymore. His fucks are all gone.

Maxlar isn't suicidal by any means but he's had a really fucked up life and he's probably reached a point where his death being confirmed would be a relief. Same with Hades, only he'd say this internally. His outward reaction, as a King, is to say "Give the orders" Troy knows what the word means. He's just a shit.

There's a story here with Cracker Barrel Also, ignore Malvo trying to kill children. Don't worry about it. Devon believes in aliens because "I'm technically an alien, and I believe in myself so there!" Hades believes in the same thing but applies it to Aten "he's technically an alien and I believe in him" Dot is a secret cryptid hunter