#and hell yes this is me bragging that all these amazing people are my mutuals
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short-rain · 11 months ago
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15 Questions for 15 People
(this mad me get back into tumblr lololol i love this i replied in my head earlier but then soon realized you wouldn't be able to see that)
i was tagged by @fategoflatass
Are you named after anyone? personally i was named after my aunty but now the whole family doesn't like her so i guess i'm the only one now T.T
When was the last time you cried? when bts enlisted or when my laptop broke those were terrible times lmao
Do you have kids? let me be a young gangsta!
What sports do you play/have you played? i absolutely HATE moving my body so there is no way in hell that i will ever do a sport i've never even stepped foot in a gym all i do is cook and clean (i'm embarrassing)
Do you use sarcasm? people have JUST started getting mad at me for it and honestly they need to stop
What's the first thing you notice about people? their lips (i'm a bad person)
What's your eye color? VERY VERY dark brown that i thought it was black for half my lip but i'm just stupid
Scary movies or happy endings? i don't even remember the last time i watched a scary movie so i would just choose happy endings because when something doesn't have a happy ending i will quite literally flip
Any talents? i'm a good writer and i'm a good drawing but these days i haven't been doing that as much so i'm not sure if it counts but HEAVY on the writing part
Where were you born? senegalll!!! but i'm in america now specifically florida for obvious reasons, i can't get a good education with a good job there so i was forced to learn the english language at like 6 or something and move here but it's okay, i was quad lingual for a time, now i'm studying korean so that's a addition
What are your hobbies? reading.. writing... drawing... watching movies... anything involving paper... or and did i mention reading?
Do you have any pets? nope. i'm a simple gal who is not allowed to have pets cause my mother has the fear that i'm going to murder it? somehow idk lol
How tall are you? i'm 5'4 and i've been that since 4th grade since i was an early bloomer lol. 5'4 might be tall in some countries but when i tell you i've been the tallest in my grade since i was born... floridians need to grow
Favorite subject at school? i loveee english i'm just so amazing at it and it's so easy to me sometimes i wonder, how are these people failing english (83% of my school failed the big exams, i was one of 15 kids who somehow passed and i got the highest grade and yes, i'm bragging)
What is your dream job? why was this literally the hardest question of this so called survey LMAO but yeah... idk and please don't ask me this question as i am very confused on what i would like to be! in fact i have a few things in mind but they are kinda embarrassing so i'd rather not share but if those things don't work out i would definitely settle for being a pediatrician!
not tagging anybody because i physically cannot remember any of my mutuals for my dear life except for my dearest @fategoflatass thank you for the questions btw!!!
15 Questions for 15 People
(I was tagged on something, yay!)
I was tagged by @serekan
Are you named after anyone?
Kind of? My mom took the name from a model's daughter she saw on a magazine.
When was the last time you cried?
I think yesterday? When did Overtake end?
Do you have kids?
Bro, I'm twenty. Let me breath!
What sports do you play/have you played?
I did volley during secondary school, does that count?
Do you use sarcasm?
Quite a lot, and I trying to quit it.
What's the first thing you notice about people?
Their existence.
What's your eye color?
Brown, a dark-ish tone.
Scary movies or happy endings?
I don't really watch scary movies, and happy endings are cool depending on the series/movie. I prefer the angsty ones, though.
Any talents?
It seems I'm good at learning languages? If that doesn't count, them I'm pretty good at fucking things up.
Where were you born?
Argentina!
What are your hobbies?
Watching anime, playing Sims 2, anything that involves spending time with my best friend and learning languages.
Do you have any pets?
I have the oldest and most annoying red-haired poodle at home (I love him, even though he won't shut up right now).
How tall are you?
I'm 1.63cm (5'4''?). Have been for years and yes, I'm bitter about that.
Favorite subject at school?
English (such fun class and fav teacher EVER), Music (so much fun, teacher had big bro vibes), Literature (kudos to the teacher who allowed me to take my sweet time (three weeks instead of one) on that one creative writing asigment) and History (teacher was literally our second father wth).
What is your dream job?
At-home literary translator. 💖
Tagging @arataka-reigen, @keithmelance, @iwantflyingpigs and @short-rain (don't have many mutuals, sorry 🙏). Y'all are not forced to do it!
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ferryboatpeak · 7 years ago
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good things by good people: the best fic i read in 2017
The community aspect of writing fic is easily my favorite part of fandom. I was so lucky this year to get to know so many talented writers who brainstormed with me and encouraged me and allowed me to beta for them and left me nice comments and tolerated me screaming into their inboxes. So I’m going to close out the year by gushing about all of them and my favorite things they wrote in 2017.
queerlyalex: I learned multishipping at @queerlyalex’s feet, and I continue to admire their versatility, enthusiasm, and prolific production. Also I am eternally grateful to them for reblogging me early on; it’s only thanks to Alex that I have any pals around here. Alex absolutely slayed me with a few well-crafted sentences this year (e.g., ”Louis stares at Niall like he’s a map without a legend.”) and I also adored their hiatus nouis and creepy robot nouis and… okay, I just realized Alex is my favorite nouis writer.
Mildly_Maddy: @mildlymaddy writes with such heart and tenderness, and I particularly admire the physicality of her writing. Cold noses, headaches, fingernail scratches… she always makes me feel the characters’ physical sensations. Maddy’s also the most genius editor in all the wide world; every single thing I’ve written this year has benefited from her keen eye and unerring ability to not only diagnose the problem but to come up with the solution. Finally, Maddy makes brevity her bitch. Nobody writes tagfic like she does, and her hamille drabble might be my favorite thing I’ve read this year, 100 words densely packed with so many things I love (a clever joke on current canon, positive treatment of female side characters, harry in a collar). In 2017 I also particularly loved her hedgehog fairy louis, lilo bad wardrobe phone sex (a brilliant concept well-executed), and of course her nouis post-louelle breakup porn.
dramaturgicallycorrect: I am in awe of @wickershire​’s skills at worldbuilding. She writes an amazing diversity of settings and eras, and every single one of them feels completely realized. She also has this way of centering her characterizations on lesser-emphasized canon details, which is a brilliant trick that makes her characters feel simultaneously familiar and fresh. Her wolvesfest fic leaned into Niall’s fearlessness, Harry’s need to feel useful, and Louis’s protectiveness. Her Wimbledon fic took Harry’s treatment by the media and somehow used it to make this clumsy deer-legged menace into a believable professional athlete, alchemy of the highest order. (The sentence that laid me flat: "He stretches his long limbs as far as they can go and just like that, everything that’s Liam’s belongs to him.") Her narry road trip fic turned Harry’s aggressive image curation into obsessive travel experience planning (ohhhhh goddddddd, “’You’re an act of god,’ Niall tells him, but he means Harry’s a natural fucking disaster.”) AND AS IF THIS WASN’T ENOUGH, Kate also wrote the alex/peter fic the world needed.
saysthemagpie: You’re all aware that @saysthemagpie​ is the total package: brilliant plotting, achingly beautiful character development, gorgeous imagery, hilarious crack, and smoking hot sex scenes. I love Jes’s writing so much that it’s hard to narrow down my 2017 favorites, except that her dunkirk sex pest crackfic is unquestionably at the top of the list. 50 shades fionrry was also an instant classic, and I think the very first appearance of the barry characterization we didn’t know we needed but now can never live without. I also loved every scrap we got of small town divorce fic and sexswap narry and dog park lilo/fionrry and hazoff mpreg, and she finished always be your boy with some grade-A Harry Styles suffering. Also, these particular sentences: “He feels light and sort of airy, like someone’s flung open all the windows inside of him, sunlight spilling in.” and  “When his gaze drops to Mitch’s mouth, Mitch feels the tug of it in his chest, a pull like the tide: moon-drawn, inexorable.” and  “when he can’t stop himself testing his thumb against the bright keen edge of his loss”
countthestars: @moondoggiestyle is a plotting genius who somehow manages to make the tropiest of tropes suspenseful. She can turn any scrap of canon into angst, usually in a way that’s also hilarious, and I really admire the way she interacts with prompts and cultivates readership. Here’s how much I have reread her fic: I was beta’ing something of hers and recognized a turn of phrase repeated from something else she wrote like two years ago, and I almost didn’t say anything because I was super embarrassed to admit that I am like the foremost scholar of her work. I am forever grateful that she’s put up with me chattering away in her inbox all year long about hitch and werewolves and the midwest, and allowed me to deluge her with my thoughts on the excellent when the wolves come out under the guise of beta’ing it. Other 2017 favorites: hitch, and more hitch, harry vs. shapeshifting demon (SO MANY LAUGHS IN SO FEW WORDS), pop punk nouis (my number one dream in life is 50K of this), the small town little league au, and oh my god this sentence: “His touch is soft, almost tentative, like Niall’s something breakable. Like Niall’s not something he’s already broken.” ALSO she has written the very best part of dark werewolf hitch and if I have to construct a 40k ark to bear her 1K forth to the world in 2018 I will happily do so.
fliptomybside: uni fionrry is maybe my favorite verse going right now. It’s soft and hot and tentative and happy and I love every new installment. I also love @polaroidgirlfriend‘s queer kendall and how effectively she’s characterized through the many ways she tries to physically erase herself.(”She spreads her arms and her legs out so they’re not touching. It’s easier to feel weightless, this way. Takes away her awareness of her own limbs and the way she takes up space.”)
sunsetmog: I am in awe of how @magicalrocketships makes every single sentence, every single word, contribute to character development (this 26-line story is a perfect example.) In 2017, she upended the famous/not-famous trope with Harry Styles Cooks.... I love, love, love that Louis’s reaction to Harry appearing on his doorstep is to be mad at him for materializing instead of remaining a safely abstract celebrity crush. She also blessed us all with You’re a Naughty Rabbit, Louis; a long-awaited installment of I Had Rather; and the gryles Mallorca fic we all desperately needed.
rilla: The greatest zarry author of all time posted little writing this year but every bit of it was exceptional. Her hogwarts zarry has all the beauty and wonder the source material is missing, her similes make me want to cry (”He’s lit around the edges like someone’s taken a cigarette lighter to a sheet of paper”), and even this plot outline was exquisite. (@flomps, we don’t talk enough? I’m so grateful you hung on in this fandom long enough for me to know you even a little, though.)
yeahloads: Attempting to praise @harryshippudge by praising her fic is a misleading exercise because it completely misses a major area of her genius, namely her brilliance at generating plots and prompting others to do the same. I have written thousands upon thousands of words because Liz asked the right question or came up with the right twist on a trope, and I hope that someday she will bring her abandoned wolvesfest concept to life either as gryles or as original fiction, because it’s an absolutely brilliant idea. The single snippet she posted is maybe my favorite thing she wrote this year. (Although I am also delighted she got on board the hitch train, and her hazoff abo mpreg verse is weird and wonderful communication porn.)
1000-directions: I love @1000-directions’s quick wit, grace under fire, and willingness to go as niche as it gets (ESPECIALLY breaking the seal on loufro, a ship that I have high hopes for in 2018). Her pig dog POV was one of the most clever, original things I read this year -- the voice sounds just like a dog wagging its tail. I also deeply appreciate her Camille blogging and the associated fic.
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House Party
Summary: You were invited to a party, little did you know, your best friend would be there too Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader Squares:  Smut for Make Me Feel Bingo // Sat on their lap instead of the chair for SPN Fluff // Jensen Ackles for Winchester & Beyond Bingo // Stolen Kisses for Any Fandom Fluff // Slow Burn for Tell Me A Story Bingo // Friends with Benefits for SPN Mixed Bingo Warnings: +18 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT Friends to Lovers, Smutish, cockwarming, alcohol, party, dirty talk, teasing, no panties, jealousy (mention)  Word Count: 1466 A/N:  This is my first attempt to actually write some graphic smut, so please be nice. In here you will also find some bolded prompts for the 7k follower celebration of @negans-lucille-tblr’s  This fic is unbeta’d so any mistakes (grammar, spelling, etc) are mine.
^
It was Tuesday night when your calendar app notified you that you had your best friend Muni’s house party on Saturday. You texted her and agreed to meet on Thursday to buy clothes for the party.  You bought a two-part dress that you certainly were going to wear almost no underwear because it was really tight. You felt insecure by wearing something that tight but you couldn’t deny you looked amazing. 
When you arrived at Muni’s house, there were many people, and it was just less than an hour since it started. You saw some mutual friends, some men were drooling while staring at you. You were aware of that, but they didn’t care you could see them. In a way it made you feel uncomfortable. You were checking your phone every now and then like you were expecting a call or something.
You were about to flirt with a guy when you saw someone’s back. You could recognize that back everywhere. It was Jensen Ackles, he made it to the party. The last time you saw him, you were drunk and having sex. Amazing sex if you could brag out, the best you’ve ever had. You were staring at him when he turned around and saw you, he had a small smile, but then he saw what you were wearing and his eyes filled with lust. Yes, you were some feet away from him, and still, you were able to feel his intense gaze, he was undressing you with his eyes and you were ruining your panties to just thinking of him. You smirked at him, smiled like you were the only ones in the room, and went to find Muni. You were with Muni dancing and talking with some of her friends when you felt a presence behind you. You knew it was him, that unique scent he has, the perfume he wears, that undeniable presence you could identify without thinking.  Your body reacted at him, not the way you were expecting but you pressed and grind your butt against him.
-Hey sweetheart — he said to your ear, pulling a hand around your waist and getting you closer to him Your whole body shivered at hearing him in such a low tone. You kept grinding your ass against him. You turned around and gave him a quick peck on the lips and then you left. Jensen was perplexed and you were red in embarrassment. Thank god for the alcohol you were drinking, sober you’ve never acted this way.
Jensen was one of your best friends and you were madly in love with him. You thought he was not interested in you, at least not like you wanted, you had sex with him in the past, but never flirted back the way it did today. He was different, he encouraged you to keep moving your ass against his crotch, he never stopped you. And when you kissed him, he never backed away. Your panties were ruined by now, you could feel how wet they were. You were ruined.
-Have you seen how Jensen looks at you? — Muni asked you Jensen appeared in front of you, stole a kiss and he continued his way. You were frozen, you weren’t expecting it at all -Oh my god — Muni exclaimed — What the hell just happened? She was surprised, she had never seen Jensen acting that way with anyone, not even with you.  -He is so into you. Buying that dress was the best decision you could ever make. -I still hate it. It’s too tight — you complained -Well, Jensen loves it. He can’t take his eyes off you. Clearly, he wants you in his pants -Half the men in here want the same thing. Besides, he just sees me as his friend, nothing more -Babe, the way he is looking at you, and behaving around you, doesn’t show him as just a friend. He is interested in you -He is just teasing. He would never be interested in me — you admitted sadly -Let’s wait until the party ends, and then you tell me. You’ll thank me later — he said and left you alone Wherever you were going, you could feel Jensen’s intense glare following you. Maybe Muni was right and he was interested in you, or maybe just wants sex. It wouldn’t be the first time, sex without feelings. 
You needed to go to the bathroom and he was just in the way. Two can play the game. You approached him and gave him a long kiss. He grabbed you from your waist deepening it. You broke the kiss and before he could say something you kept walking. You’ve just ruined a friendship. This was the end. Once in the bathroom, you checked your panties, as you expected, they were a mess. It was getting uncomfortable to have them wet, so you took them off and threw them on the laundry basket that Muni has there hidden. No one would know you are not wearing panties, the bottom of your dress is too tight. You felt uncomfortable at first, but you tried to not think about it.
When you got back to the party, Jensen was out of sight. You felt bad, it was your fault, you made him feel uncomfortable and he left. You went to the kitchen to grab another beer when you spotted him sitting alone with his phone in one of the corners. You grabbed two beers and went where he was seated -Nobody puts baby on the corner — you said while sitting on his lap instead of a chair He smiled and grabbed one of the beers opening up and handing it to you, grabbing the other for him. You accommodate yourself in his lap, making sure to press your ass against his semi-hard cock. Jensen could feel you and with his free hand, he grabbed you from your waist putting the hand over your thigh.  Just feeling his cock through the fabric and his hand on your thigh, you were getting even wetter. Jensen squeezed your thigh and kissed you on your neck -Don’t you get tired of teasing? Wearing that tight little dress giving nothing left for the imagination? -Mhm… Jay — you moaned moving your ass He moved the hand that was on his thigh higher to the hem of your skirt. You opened your legs. You seated sideways on his lap, putting one arm around his neck and the other near his crotch -Mmm sweetheart, you feel what you do to me? You make me get jealous of everyone wanting to devour you. -But I want you, not them— you said moving your hand to his crotch Jensen moved his hand higher and looked at you with lustful eyes. He smirked at you when he realized you were wearing nothing -What a naughty girl, no wearing any panties — he moved his hand inside your skirt -I bet you are really wet You moved your hand to his zipper  -Please, Jens — you moaned Jensen was hard, his cocked throbbed when you grabbed from under his underwear. You could feel the tip getting wet with precum. Jensen opened your legs a little more and moved a finger along your folds -Mmm baby, you’re so wet You opened his jeans and took his cock out. You got up and Jensen with wide eyes open realized what were you going to do -Are you getting my cock warmed? — He said helping you to sit on his cock -Mhm… Jens — you moaned while kissing him
You’ve had sex with him before, but today he was a lot bigger than you expected. Probably it was the position you were both seated, he filled you up and reached places no one has ever touched. He held you in place and started to kiss you. You could feel his cock getting harder inside you. You tried to circle your hips while making out with him, you needed the friction, but Jensen held you in place. -Jens… — You broke the kiss -What is it, baby? -I don’t know how long I will resist without moving -Me neither, sweetheart. I want you so bad -I want you too — You gave him another kiss — Let’s go to the guest room, I’m staying there tonight -Tomorrow I’ll take you on a date. That’s a promise
When you moved from his lap, you felt empty. He was quick to fix his pants and then you grabbed his hand, ready to be fucked out by your best friend. Muni saw that you were taking him to your room and smirked. A minute later you got a text “I told you. Please be quiet. I want all the details.”
Tag List (Is Open - ask to be added)
@girl-next-door-writes | @spnfluffbingo | @winchesterandbeyondbingo | @anyfandomfluffbingo | @supernatural-jackles | @spnmixedbingo | @thevelvetseries | @caplanreads | @akshi8278 | 
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kyber-crystal · 4 years ago
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➳ there and back again || s.r.
summary: it’s just a nice little competition to declare who comes out on top as the victor. what could possibly go wrong?
words: ~1.5k
warnings: a chaotic stevey/nsam trio. that’s it haha
a/n: trying a new layout! hope you guys like it teehee. this is an old oneshot so i apologize it’s poorly written. 
tags: @sunstalgia​ @wxstedhexrt​ @purpleskiesstorm​ @sylvie-writes​ hopefully this won’t flop if i tag a few mutuals teehee
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"You boys ready to get your asses beat?" you teased as you tied your shoelaces.
"Don't get your hopes up, sweetheart," Steve warned. "I hate to brag, but I'm going to win."
Sam groaned. "I don't know why I agreed to this. Y'all are both fast as hell. Last time I got so winded trying to catch up with you."
"Winner gets twenty from the losers!" you quickly shouted, and both of your friends' faces lit up. "And also, bragging rights and glory."
"I swear, you people act more like 13 year-olds than 30-something year olds," Pietro commented as he leaned against the fridge, sipping an iced latte. "You making bets over who's gonna beat the other in a race?"
"Yup," you all replied in unison.
"Well then, see ya," he nodded, as you headed out the door.
"Alright," you breathed out, setting your hands on your hips as you surveyed your landscape. "So around Central Park, checkpoint at Cherry Hill."
"Got it," Steve nodded.
You tapped your wristwatch a few times, setting a timer. "Okay. On your marks. Get set. Go!"
You quickly broke into a sprint, feet pounding against the dewy pavement as you pumped your arms and legs as fast as you could go. You refused to look back, knowing that by doing so you'd be slowed down and fall behind both of them.
The scorching August heat was relentlessly beating down on your back, sweat rolling down your temples and causing your tank top and leggings to cling tightly to your skin. You kept going, though, despite your body screaming at you to stop.
Several minutes later you were not far behind Steve, with Sam only a few yards ahead of him as well. He didn't seem the least bit exhausted as he made a sharp turn and continued sprinting down the sidewalk, and if it hadn't been for your excessive training you would've given up within the first five minutes of starting.
"On your left," he said as he sprinted ahead of Sam.
"On your right!" you shouted as you zipped past both of them.
"Damn it!" you heard Sam let out a frustrated yell as he picked up the pace. “To think I was the top of my class in PE...”
"On your left," Steve informed him a few minutes later.
Then again. "On your left."
"Uh huh, on my left. Got it."
You were nowhere in sight at this point, and as Sam was still jogging Steve came around again from behind, starting from a new lap.
"Don't say it! Don't you say it!"
"On your left!"
"Come on!" he groaned. "Why don't you try targeting Y/N?"
Both men stopped for a moment and skidded to a halt, locking eyes with each other.
"Oh, shit."
"Language."
"Whatever. C’mon! We don't have any time to waste. If we lose, Y/N's never gonna let us live this down."
They continued on side by side while still keeping their pace, keeping close eyes and ears out for you; making sure to stay alert at all times.
"Christ, where'd she go?"
"I don't know—"
"On your right!" they heard you shout as you came bursting ahead of both of them, the wind from your speediness whipping them in their faces. "Come on, slowpokes! Last lap!"
"Are you kidding me?!" Sam yelled after you. 
Steve didn't slow down as they were chasing after you but after a bit, Sam grew frustrated and was unable to continue running, sitting down at the edge of the fountain to catch his breath.
"I win," you smirked as you took a sip out of your water bottle, wiping your mouth and letting out a satisfied sigh. "Victory sure is sweet."
"Need a medic?" the super-soldier looked over at the breathless Sam Wilson.
"I need a new set of lungs," he panted, "Dude, you guys just ran like, 13 miles in 30 minutes. Y/N, I don't even know where you went but you literally just pulled an Usain Bolt on my ass, what the hell."
"I guess I got a late start," Steve shrugged.
"Late start my ass," you snorted, crossing your arms over your chest. "Admit it, boys. I'm the champion here."
"Pfft. Why don't you go take another lap."
"Nah," you declined his offer, "I'd rather lounge around in bunny slippers while watching you do my dishes. Oh! And...you both owe me twenty."
They both took their wallets out of their back pockets, reluctantly placing twenty-dollar bills into your palm.
"Thank you," you smiled sweetly, before sliding the cash in your pocket.
"It's your beds, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Your beds, they're too soft. When I was over there I'd sleep on the ground and use rock for pillows, like a caveman. Now I'm here at the compound, lying in my bed, and it's like..."
"Lying on a marshmallow," Steve finished, "feel like I'm gonna sink right to the floor."
"Exactly."
"Also, since I won, you guys have to be my butlers for the rest of the day."
"Since when was that part of the rules?"
"It's always been part of the rules for anyone who wins anything," you defended yourself. "I'd like a piggyback ride all the way back to the subway station."
Steve just laughed and shook his head, bending his knees slightly. "Alright, alright. Get on."
"Hey, I'm just as strong as him!" Sam exclaimed. "You only want him to carry you so that you get a valid excuse to feel his muscles."
Your eyes widened at his statement, feeling a blush rise up your cheeks. "No I don't."
"Yes you do."
"Oh, shut up," you muttered, hopping onto Steve's back and wrapping your legs firmly around his torso. He hooked his arms underneath to hold you steady, as your arms went around his neck.
"Ew, you're sweaty. You smell. What happened to your blueberry and coffee cologne kind of scent? Why do you sweat so much? But I guess you wearing tight shirts make up for it, since—STEVE! Stop!" you let out a squeal as he leaned backwards slightly, your heart stopping momentarily as you came dangerously close to falling off his back. "You're gonna drop me! Stop!"
Steve let out a laugh, then proceeded to spin around and around to make you dizzy. You let out a high-pitched shriek, most likely catching the attention of a few passerby who wondered why Captain America had the normally serious Agent Y/N on his back and you were laughing like a little schoolgirl with goofy grins on both your faces.
"Say the magic words, then I'll let you down."
"I hate you."
"Wrong."
"We're no longer friends if you don't set me down right now."
"Nope."
"Steven Grant Rogers, you set me down right this instant or I'm going to beat your ass if you don't!" you threatened, kicking wildly and slapping his shoulders. "Let me down!"
"Those aren't the words," he said simply, rather amused by the frustration on your face. 
It was rather cute, if he was being honest.
"Okay, okay! I love Steve Rogers because he's the best Avenger and his muscles are like no other man here in New York! Now let me down!"
"There we go," he chuckled as he released his grip on you and you hopped off, dusting off your clothes. "See? That wasn't so hard."
"Attention-seeker," you accused, "you just wanted to do that so I'd be forced to compliment you. As good-looking as you are, I'm not putting effort into giving attention to someone who already gets so much of it every day."
"You think I'm good-looking?"
"Don't let it get to your head, Rogers," you rolled your eyes, but he could clearly see the pink tinge in your face which he knew wasn't from just running in the scorching heat. This only amused him further.
"If it makes you feel better, I think you're beautiful."
You almost choked on your own spit, going into a coughing fit and hitting your back to try and stop it.
"Don't mind me," Sam cleared his throat, "I'm just here, third wheeling. Or, chaperoning this couple who refuses to admit they're so in love with each other, if you'd like to put it that way. Oh wow, now Steve is blushing. Wow. Amazing. Y/N looks like she's going to faint. Wowwwww. What a beautiful love story. I totally don't feel left out."
"You wanna go for shawarma?" you offered. "I'm starving, and honestly, I could use the time away from Tony. He'll drag us down to play Mario Kart as soon as we get back home."
"Come on! Stop treating me as if I don't exist!"
You both looked over at Sam and laughed.
"I'm sorry," you sympathetically patted his shoulder. "It's quite the burden, dealing with Captain America on the daily."
"Damn right, now that you practically asked him out on a date and are set to become his girlfriend, I have to deal with even more excessive PDA."
"So, this is a date?" Steve raised an eyebrow at you. "Is that what this is?"
"No! It's not—" you let out a sigh of defeat, "well, if you want it to be, then...yes."
"It's a date, then," he smiled widely, kissing your cheek and sliding an arm around your waist.
"How come I never get the girls," Sam grumbled as he followed behind the two of you. "Life is so unfair."
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imagine-that · 5 years ago
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You clench your fists, angrily staring down your plate of food. Ignoring Blaise’s amused smirk, you take an agressive bite of whatever you’d last put on your fork.
“Someone’s peeved.” He says with a smirk.
“Well someone’s also being bloody annoying, I wonder who that could be.” You mutter sarcastically, not removing your eyes from the plate in front of you.
The corner of his lips quirk into an amused grin. “What’s wrong y/n?” He asks knowingly.
With a sigh, you finally look up and meet his eyes.
“Draco still hasn’t asked me to the Yule ball.” You mutter with a frown. He lets out a laugh.
“Wait, you two aren’t going out or something?” He asks as he pokes at his own food.
“I thought maybe we were yeah. But then I heard from some second year that he asked some pure blood Hufflepuff girl.” You explain, rubbing your fingers against your temple tiredly.
“Then why are you wondering why he hasn’t asked you if you know he asked another girl already?” He asks with another smirk. Just the mention of another girl with Draco causes you to stab a piece of food with your fork and shove it in your mouth frustratedly.
“I bloody despise you Zabini.” You growl with your mouth full.
“Feelings mutual.” He says with a smile that tells you he doesn’t mean that.
Just as you’re about to grumble a reply, the blond Slytherin causing your agression takes his seat next to you.
“What’re you lot talking about?” He asks as he fills his plate.
Blaise opens his mouth, about to speak when you kick his leg under the table.
“Absolutely nothing.” You respond quickly, not looking away from the table. Blaise glares at you slightly, telling you that your kick was harder than you meant for it to be.
“Alright...” Draco says hesitantly, eyeing you suspiciously.
You resist the urge to kick him too, standing up abruptly. “I have some things I need to grab before class.” You mutter as an excuse. Dracos lips part, ready to question you but you’re already halfway across the grand hall before he has the chance to speak.
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“You can’t run from him forever y/l/n. Sooner or later you’ll have to talk to him.” Blaise tells you as you’re finishing up your potions homework.
“I beg to differ.” You say with a sarcastic smile, closing the textbooks pages.
He sighs and retreats to the boys side of the Slytherin living quarters and you find yourself alone again.
“Why exactly have you been hiding from me all day?” An all too familiar voice demands from behind you. You spin around and refuse to meet his eyes.
“I haven’t. You’re just imagining things.” You insist bitterly, moving to walk around him but he quickly steps in front of you, further blocking your path. “Must I move you myself Malfoy?” You spat with a glare and his eyebrows furrow in confusion.
Since when have you called me Malfoy?” He asks, obviously amused.
“Since now, now if you’ll excuse me.” You murmur. This time when he goes to step in your way, you stomp hard on his foot. He scoffs and looks at you, surprised. You don’t look back at him and instead head to your bed quietly.
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“I heard what happened with Malfoy. Way to keep it classy huh y/l/n?” Blaise whispers to you during the next days lesson in care for magical creatures. The majority of Slytherin rarely paid much attention to the actual course.
“Shut up Zabini. I was frustrated.” You hiss back. He raises an eyebrow in response. “You know what? I don’t bloody need a date. I’ll just go on my own tonight.” You declare in a hushed tone.
“Have fun with that. I’ll be busy dancing with Pansy.” Blaise smirks and you make a disgusted face. You’d always had a strong dislike for Pansy. Had it been her who draco had asked, you probably wouldn’t have been able to remain so calm.
You turn your attention back to the lesson and sigh, waiting for it to be over as you spend the rest of the period stealing longing glances at Draco and yelling profanities in your head at your lack of courage to just ask him yourself.
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“Y/n wait up!” You hear from behind you. You turn around curiously, moving to the side of the corridor so you aren’t in anyone’s way to find a Gryffindor running to catch up with you.
You analyze his face for a moment and finally recognize him as Cormac McLaggen. You’d been sat next to each other in potions one year but that was about all you could remember of him.
“Can I help you with something McLaggen?” You ask impatiently. He takes a breath, seemingly nervous which was amusing to you based on his major ego.
“I was wondering if you’d like to go to the Yule ball with me?” He asks hopefully. You mull it over in your brain for a second but then you see Draco walking behind him, looking angrier than ever and you look back at Cormac with a small grin.
“I’d love to. I’ll meet you in the ballroom.” You reply and he grins back, nodding wildly before running off in the other direction to brag to his friends.
“What the bloody hell was that about?” Draco asks, glaring after Cormac.
“He’s my date to the ball tonight. We were just confirming when we’d meet.” You explain nonchalantly. He looks at you and snorts and you raise an eyebrow, telling him to speak.
“You have a date?” He asks in disbelief. “I thought we were going as friends.” He adds.
You shrug. “Tell that to your Hufflepuff.” You snarl, walking away and leaving him confused.
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“Once again I hear from Malfoy what you did. You know it’s truly a wonder how he hasn’t realized you like him yet.” Blaise comments as he sees you coming from the girls dormitories that night, rushing around with your hair pinned up and your eyes shimmering from the eyeshadow on them.
You were in the middle of getting ready and had come down to ask y/b/f/n, one of your fellow Slytherins for help, seeing as they were so much better at winged eyeliner than you were.
“Put a cork in it Zabini.” You hiss as you race past him and to the person you were looking for. You saw him roll his eyes at your response but you chose to ignore it as you dragged your friend by their arm up to the dormitory to help you finish.
The usually fairly quiet room was bustling with girls running back and forth and squabbling with each other about the colours of their dresses and bickering over their makeup and hair not matching each other’s.
“So you’re getting all done up for who again?” Your friend asks as you both sit on your bed, her getting right to work.
“Cormac McLaggen.” You answer and she gives you a serious look.
“You know he’s a bloody sleaze correct?” She asks, returning to her focus.
“Yes I do. I’ve heard so from several people.” You say and she raises an eyebrow. “I’m not really going with him because I fancy him or anything. It’s just one night to irritate a certain someone.” You say with a smirk playing on your lips.
She nods and smiles. “Pretty smart way of doing that.” She says with a small laugh. “All done. You’re going to knock the boys all right off their feet.” She says, leaning back to admire her handy work.
You thank her and both of you go to your shared wardrobe pulling out your garment bags with your dresses. The both of you had picked them out together on a hogsmead trip and you couldn’t be happier with how it looked.
Unzipping it, you pull the floor length y/f/c dress out and stare at it in awe all over again before pulling it on.
Y/b/f/n lets out a wolf whistle from behind you and you laugh, rolling your eyes.
“You’re definitely going to be the most stunning girl there y/n.” She says and you thank her as both of you go downstairs.
You see Pansy and Blaise together in a corner and resist the urge to fake a gag.
Your friend rushes off to find her date and you walk over to Blaise and Pansy.
“Wow y/l/n, you clean up well.” Blaise says and you smack his arm playfully.
“Yes, you look... nice.” Pansy says enviously and you roll your eyes.
The three of you chat for a while before you excuse yourself and make your way to the grand hall, heels clicking on the floors of the castle.
When you arrive you move slowly down the stairs, gawking in awe at the transformation.
You see your date at the bottom of the stairs and sigh as you snap out of your daze, putting on a fake smile and aiming it at his amazed face.
“Hello y/n. You look absolutely ravishing.” He says, taking your arm in his own and you resist the urge to roll your eyes at his supposed charm.
“Thanks. You look pretty nice as well.” You mutter, your eyes not focused on him but instead darting around the room looking for a certain blond Slytherin.
As your eyes finally meet his, you resist the gasp trying to make its way out of your mouth. In his expensive looking dress robes, you couldn’t help but stare. He looked absolutely dashing and when you noticed the girl hanging off his arm, you feel yourself filled with envy.
Turning back to your own date, you placed an angry kiss on his lips, not fully realizing what you were doing. You could hear the collective gasp around the room as you pulled away and Cormac looked at you, stunned.
“I wasn’t quite expecting that so early on in the night.” He jokes and you fake another smile.
“I just couldn’t help myself.” You lie and he smirks to himself, clearly proud.
“Let’s dance.” You say suddenly as you see a confused Blaise on his way over to you. Without waiting to hear what he wanted, you grabbed Cormac by the arm and dragged him to the dance floor, weaving your way through the crowd of couples and to a spot close to the middle where you figured your friends wouldn’t find you to pester you.
You wrap your arms around his neck and the two of you sway for a while before he goes over to the refreshments table to get you both some punch, leaving you standing awkwardly on the dance floor by your lonesome.
As you’re about to retreat to a corner or wall by yourself, you feel a tap on your shoulder. You whirl around to find Draco with a strangely awkward smile on his face.
“I noticed your date walked away. Mind if I keep you company?” He asks as you raise an eyebrow.
“Won’t your Hufflepuff mind?” You mutter, looking at the floor. He frowns a bit.
“No. She’s off snogging her bloody ex boyfriend. Only asked me to make him jealous, can you believe that?” He scoffs and you smirk.
“At least she has good taste in men to use.” You joke and he laughs, looking at you amused. He wraps his arms around you and begins swaying you both to the music, guiding you. Soon, your bodies are moving around the dance floor in perfect harmony.
“Lucky for you, you didn’t cause permanent damage to my foot.” He teases and your face goes red with embarrassment.
“I see that.” You giggle, resting your head on his shoulder.
“You look breathtaking by the way y/l/n.” He whispers into your ear, his breath tickling the side of your face.
“You look quite dashing yourself Draco.” You admit,biting your lip. Never had you ever been this open about your thoughts about Draco. It made you feel vulnerable but for some reason this time it felt liberating, even if you were barely admitting anything.
“Your date is a bloody prick.” He mutters angrily. You follow his gaze to the stairs where Cormac is standing, shamelessly flirting with one of the Gryffindor girls.
You snicker a bit and Draco looks at you in surprise. “You know for one of the brightest in our year, you’re quite clueless.” You say, still laughing.
He looks almost hurt for a moment but then again confused.
“I didn’t truly want to go with him you idiot.” You admit and his look of confusion remains.
Sighing, you begin explaining. “I’m not an idiot Gryffindor, I don’t have much courage you know so I couldn’t convince myself to ask but... I wanted to go with you Draco.” You whisper and you see his face light up in a way you’d never seen.
“I am truly an idiot.” He mutters, sliding his hand down his face. You raise an eyebrow curiously and he sighs, looking into your eyes.
“I was going to ask you but I somehow convinced myself to ask someone else and try to make you jealous.” He explains and you look at him with wide, surprised eyes.
“Well you definitely succeeded in that.” You say with a chuckle.
“Yeah I probably should have noticed that when you tried to bloody remove my foot.” He teases and you smile embarrassedly.
“So wait... you were going to ask me?” You ask shyly and he nods nervously.
“Y/n, the truth is I quite fancy you.” He admits with a smile.
You resist the urge to jump around like a maniac. “Really?” You ask and in response, he dips you low towards the floor, planting a passionate kiss on your lips before bringing you back up to your feet.
As he does this, Cormac notices and comes storming back over. “Might I have my date back?” He asks arrogantly and Draco looks at him with a sneer. As he’s about to reply, you interrupt.
“No now beat it McLaggen.” You say, not looking away from Draco for even a second. With a huff, Cormac goes back to the girls he’d been talking with before.
“You’re a much better kisser than he is, by the way. Now where were we?” You ask and Draco smirks before spinning you around and back into his arms gracefully.
“For the record,” you begin in a hushed tone, a bright smile lighting up your face. “I fancy you too.” You finish as he pulls you into his chest, continuing to sway to the music.
You beam at each other in a pleasant silence and stay wrapped in each other’s arms, dancing the night away together, too infatuated with one another to even notice your shared best friend Blaise smiling at the sight of you two finally together.
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hufflepuffhollander · 4 years ago
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Tom holland blurb about tom introducing reader to his family and patty develops a crush on her and gets extremely jealous of their relationship and his behavior gets worse after they announce their engagement
love this idea!
tom x fem reader | contains fluff, angst, & light alcohol use | word count:1.6k | enjoy!
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“Babe, why is your leg shaking so much?” Tom looks at you inquisitively, your nerves clearly showing as you sit in your dining room awaiting Tom’s family’s arrival.
“I just want them to like me...” you trail off, your mind elsewhere. You and Tom were becoming more serious, you’d been dating for over a year, and it was finally time to meet his parents and his brothers. You’d put it off long enough, but they wouldn’t stop persisting until eventually you gave in. You made a 3-course dinner, dressed to the nines, and Tom couldn’t help but only focus on your worried expression.
“They’re going to love you, darling. You’re overthinking it. My brothers are so excited to meet the pretty girl they’ve seen in all the pictures! Especially Patty, he keeps telling me to send you his way if things don’t work out.” Tom laughed at this, and you smiled a weary smile, still full of nerves.
Right on time, the doorbell rang, and Tom jumped up to greet his family, excitement pouring out of him. You stood up and smoothed down your dress.
“Oh, Tom, we know who you are! We’re here to meet Y/N!” his mom squeals.
Oh boy. Here we go.
“Hi, Mrs. and Mr. Holland! I’m Y/N, it’s so lovely to finally meet you.” you say as Tom’s mom wraps you in a big, warm hug. Your nerves instantly melt away as each one of his family members takes a turn giving you a welcoming hug. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
Patty walks up to you, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, and stands awkwardly before you invite him into a friendly hug. “Hi, Patty! How are you?”
He stutters back “I’m good, thanks. Nice to meet you.” he quickly walks away to sit down, his back turned to you.
After some regular pleasantries, you invite Tom’s family to sit down at the table as you float around bringing food out to start dinner. You settle in, eating the delicious food you prepared, feeling warm and fuzzy after a hefty glass of wine. You mesh well with Tom’s parents and his younger brothers, cracking jokes and discussing your career and social life as a celebrity’s partner. Tom sees the effort you put in to impress his family and gives your hand reassuring squeezes throughout dinner, pecking your cheek every so often as he brags about you. Patty glares at him as he does this, and refuses to talk to Tom when he addresses him.
Tom’s mom turns to his little brother. “Sweets, why are you being so quiet?” she turns to you. “He couldn’t stop talking about how excited he was for tonight for the whole week.” He immediately flushed red and yelled, “mooooom!” You all laughed at his clear embarassment.
“It’s alright, Patty, I was excited to meet you too!” You said reassuringly, smiling at him. He mumbles something under his breath.
“What’s that, mate?” Tom asks. Patty ignores him, gets up, and storms out of the room. You all look at each other, puzzled.
You have a wonderful evening all the way through dessert, and realize that you really could see yourself becoming part of this family. All Tom can do is brag about you when he isn’t looking at you with the softest, most loving pair of eyes you’ve ever seen on him. 
This boy is so smitten with me. It leaves you smiling all night long, until his family decides to call it a night and head home. You give them all hugs, yet again, and as Patty comes to pass the door, he gives you a tight squeeze and completely ignores his brother. 
“I don’t get one, huh?” Tom says, a little offended.
“You don’t deserve her,” Patty says, turning and leaving the house. Tom turns to you, completely taken aback. You wave goodnight and shut the door immediately.
“What is with him lately? He seems to have a real bone to pick with me. And he clearly has a huge crush on you, love.” Tom seems to forget his family issues as he says that, moving close enough to you to wrap you in a loving embrace. “I can see why. You’re the most amazing person either of us has met.” He kisses you for a long, sweet moment, and you can’t help but melt in his arms. 
One month later
“And that’s when I said, ‘well hey, buddy, that’s why you didn’t get the part!” Tom’s family and friends all laugh at the punchline to his story, as you rejoin the group with a fresh glass of wine. He’d just gotten the lead role in a big new film with all the big whigs in the industry, and you had decided to throw a small soiree to celebrate. His whole family came, along with dozens of your mutual friends.
Once he saw you approaching, he turned to you and raised his glass. “A toast, to Y/N, for throwing this all together when she definitely didn’t need to,” everyone laughed and raised their glasses to you. You blushed an embarrassing amount. 
“She has never failed to be there for me, for the good and the bad, and I truly can’t imagine my life without this one, even if she does drive me crazy sometimes!” you hit his arm playfully, wondering where the hell he was going with this.
Patty listens from a distance, picking up a half finished tumbler and downing the rest of the stinging liquid. He had a bad feeling brewing in his chest.
Tom continued his little speech. “And, honestly, I’m so happy you could all be here today, because I wanted to share the love a little bit...” he trails off, and looks at you, eyes bright. He starts to lower himself to the ground on one knee, pulling a glittering silver band out of his pocket.
“Y/N, I want you to be by my side at every celebration for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”
Everyone gasps and starts to cheer, including his parents, who had been let in on the whole idea for weeks. An upwelling of emotion fills your chest as the biggest smile takes over your features. 
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry! There are people watching!
“Yes, you dummy, of course I’ll marry you!!” everyone applauds as he slips the ring onto your delicate finger, rises up to meet you in the tightest hug, and you can’t imagine being happier. Tom’s little brother comes into view, fuming, as other friends start to disperse into their own conversations.
“Thomas, can I talk to you.” he grunts, pulling at his brother’s sleeve to remove them from the public eye. You and Tom had been inseparable since he proposed, obviously, and he was hesitant to let you go.
“Mate, whatever you have to say, you can tell us both. Y/N is part of the family now.”
“Yeah, but with you! That’s not how it’s supposed to be! She should be with me!” He yells, you and Tom are both shocked by the words coming out of his mouth. He starts to draw the attention of his parents and other brothers.
“Patty, you’re going to have to get over this one. We’re engaged, we’ll be married soon enough, and she’s going to be your sister in law. You need to stop acting like such a child.” Tom says back, clearly hurt by his brother’s actions. You debate what to do, and you don’t like being talked about as if you aren’t right there. 
“Patty, let’s talk,” you say, walking away from a fuming Tom. You don’t want the silly brothers to get into a fistfight. 
“Listen, babe. I’m sorry that it might be hard to see me with your brother, when you have some feelings for me that are hard to keep under the surface,” you start, Patty’s face already starting to soften a little. “But I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, and I know that once we get to know each other a little better, you’ll start to see me more as a big sister, and less of a crush. There is some lucky girl out there for you, much younger than me, and you’ll find her one day. I promise.”
Patty lets a tear slip. “I’m sorry. For the way I acted. Tom’s life just seems so perfect and I want mine to be that way, too.”
“I understand. But hey, everyone has their struggles, even if you can’t see them. I can tell you now that your brother cares deeply about you and just wants you two to get along.” You give him a hug and the both of you return to Tom and his parents, watching nervously.
“Tom, I’m...happy for you. Congratulations. Y/N is great.” He shakes his hand and walks away.
“I think that’s the best you’ll get out of him, for now,” you say, rubbing Tom’s back reassuringly. “Young love, y’know?”
Tom turns to you and envelops you in a kiss, looking down at the ring shining on your finger. His frown turns into a big smile, starry-eyed with love.
“I’m so lucky to have you,” he says.
“And you better remember it,” you start, laughing. “If you don’t treat me right, I’m going for your brother.” He laughs at you and you walk back into the bustle of the party, awaiting all of the congratulations on your new engagement.
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The end! What a whirlwind! Let me know what you think, I always love the feedback! xoxo
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batgirl-87 · 4 years ago
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Hey! I love your last ask, the questions are really well thought and I'm curious about 12, 16, 17, 18 and 19 👀if you want 💜
Thank you so much for asking! Sorry it took me so long to answer! Life happens -_-
From this ask
12. What was MC’s reaction learning Bill and Charlie’s little sister went missing her First year? 
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Physically restraining her and holding her back from storming into Hogwarts and causing a RIOT! She will find poor Ginny probably trapped in some damn Vault again! CURSE THESE VAULTS - oh wait a minute....
But wait, why didn’t every single Weasley, all the older protective brothers storm into Hogwarts to find their little sister? Did they not find out until later?! Did Percy, Fred, George, and Ron just neglect to inform Bill and Charlie that Ginny was missing until found? Prove they could handle it? Or did Bill and Charlie believe in the rest of their siblings that they could handle it and trust them...Nah, big brothers would storm in and find her. They’d be damned if they just sat around and waited for her to be found!
Assuming they all did not learn until afterwards, still would have to hold her back from storming into Hogwarts, most likely to no avail. Some going off on Ron and the rest of the brothers - Why are they only finding out about this now?! Yes, they handled it and got her back BUT STILL kind of a BIG thing to hide from your family! And then of course storming into Dumbledore’s office and going off yet again to which he is probably very used to at this point. A FIRST YEAR GOES MISSING AND WTF DO YOU DO?! THIS IS THE VAULTS AND BEATRICE ALL OVER AGAIN! WATCH YOURSELF OLD MAN! Going to shave that damn beard off, tie it into a noose and - Yeah, she’s not going to be very happy.
And of course once she gets all her anger out, she’ll ask Ginny if she’s okay and check with how she’s doing. And if they did find out while she was missing and Bill and Charlie somehow decided to allow their brothers to handle it and get Keira to calm tf down and not go storming back to Hogwarts (idk how tbh =p) she would be caring and comforting towards them, ask them how they’re doing, if they need anything, if there’s anything she can do, what they’ve heard - and also just do little things to reduce any stress she can. Look she cooked or got them food! And cleaned! Let’s go look at the baby dragons! You’re hair is looking fabulous today - I mean, it always looks good, but today extra bouncy.
16. What was MC’s reaction to Tonks getting married and having a child?
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I’m sorry, she’s marrying who now? Remus? Like...Keira’s Uncle Remus? Secret Werewolf Remus? Her anam cara Remus?! HER COUSIN AND UNCLE WTF - well obviously they’re not related BUT STILL THEY’RE HER FAMILY!
She’s going to need a moment.
SHE’S PREGNANT?! THEY - She’s going to need several moments...Clearly this is a lot for her to process on many different levels. She may have malfunctioned for a moment.
But once she processes things - also the fact that imagining Tonks married and a mom, like that’s so grown up and mature and it’s a little difficult to wrap her head around Tonks as a wife and mother instead of the rebellious punk prankster with colorful hair - alright, she’s going to make an awesome mom, that’s not the point. The point is, again, it just seems like such a grown up thing and Keira doesn’t even see herself really as a grown up =p She still see her and Tonks as teenage cousins getting into shenanigans, even as technically adults, rebelling against the system a bit and stirring some things up in their careers. Getting married and having a kid - wow.... are they getting old? Existential crisis time!
BUT then! They both deserve to be happy. If anyone deserves to be happy it’s Remus Lupin. And they make each other happy. And she fully accepts him and loves him as he is, Werewolf and all. Of course she would, she’s not a judgemental person! They’re happy and in love and that’s all Keira wants for them, to be happy and loved. And once she gets over the weirdness they’re adorable... and then it get’s a little weird again... but still cute...but weird... Hugging is fine, a little peck but so help her if a kiss lasts too long SHE CAN’T! Got to go, cannot see this, do not want to see this - HER EYES! =p
OH! And if you think they’re sneaking off to get married without her there HAHAHAHA THEY ARE SORELY MISTAKEN! If you don’t think Keira and Jacob (and Sirius because no I can’t let him die I JUST CAN’T) don’t come strutting in with Back in Black playing in the background to be the best man and woman/maid and man of honor - whatever - right before they take their vows, confused as to how they found out and found them then you are wrong. So very wrong! One might even officiate, who knows! Getting married without them HA! Nice try. 
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17. What are MC’s opinions on the Golden Trio and the happenings at Hogwarts after they left?
Ron - Aww little Ronny! Look at him growing up, he’s getting so big now! She remembers when he was little! 
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There’s a lot of affectionate teasing and reminiscing of embarrassing childhood stories that Keira feels maybe his friends need to hear =p A lot of messing with his hair and forcing him into tight hugs that again may embarrass him. Honestly, he views her as his older sister. He pretty much grew up with her or hearing about her from Bill, Charlie, even Percy and the Twins. She would come to visit and she’s very close with his two eldest brothers, even working with Bill, and every time she’s around him she treats him like her little brother. She’s been a big part of his life for most of what he can remember. He grew up hearing stories about her adventures at Hogwarts with his brothers so he should have been better prepared honestly for everything he had to deal with when he attended.
I’m sure he tried to brag even about her. “Yeah, my brother Bill is a Curse Breaker and his partner is Keira Black - yeah, the one who dealt with all the cursed vaults here - allegedly...” “My brother Charlie works with dragons but he could have gone on to play Quidditch professionally. Actually, his girlfriend - fiance? Unofficial wife? - played in the World Cup. And won. She could have played professionally too.” *insert Oliver Wood fangirling over Charlie and Keira’s Quidditch skills and how skilled their children would be!* “My big brothers and their friends would sneak into the Forbidden Forest all the time.” - but he doesn’t want to do that necessarily =p
But then after all his bragging when she’d actually appear and he’d get all embarrassed and wouldn’t want his friends to meet her because she just embarrassed him =p Sure Bill and Charlie partook in this as well. Likes to brag about his cool older siblings but no one actually meet them because they’ll embarrass them. Also they’re all giant dorks. Bill and Charlie smashing tables into each other when they’re supposed to be setting up for the wedding? All of them obsessed with their hair in some way. 
“Bill, remember that time you were obsessed with Emily Tyler and you had to ask ME to ask her out for you because you were too afraid!” - Some brave Curse-Breaker he is. 
“Well, remember when you dunked yourself into the courtyard fountain in the middle of the day? Then you were stuck with soaking clothes for the rest of classes that day. Everybody thought you were mad. Definitely looked mad.”
But she and Charlie were definitely the first people Ron thought of to help get Norbert safely out of Hogwarts, specifically her to get Norbert to Charlie if he couldn’t make it himself.
“Remember when you came into the Prefect’s bathroom and dove into my bath and Charlie walked in - he was so upset!” - Which would then lead to a series of embarrassing stories of Charlie because he foolishly thought being quiet and not sharing stories back and forth as Keira and Bill were would somehow save him from this but nope. Ron can’t have his friends hearing all these stories about them after bragging about them to his friends! Humiliating.
Hermione - She should be in Ravenclaw. She’s so smart and her hair is amazing. She should be the chosen one. Are we sure she’s really not? Thank Merlin for her because without her Ron and Harry would be doomed! I think there’s mutual respect between the girls.
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Harry - Ohhhhh the special chosen one... Isn’t he so great and amazing -_-
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Oh is there some bitterness and animosity from Keira towards Harry. She went through so much hell at school, broke all these curses to save people only to get punished and reprimanded by teachers and other adults, and had nasty rumours spread about her around school from the students, called cursed herself - no one appreciated all she did for them and that school! All the sacrifices and people she lost!
But Harry freakin’ Potter here basically gets a parade everywhere he goes and can do no wrong - HONESTLY. He caught the Golden Snitch in his mouth and won the game - she literally won the World Cup. Guess who got more praise and admiration. Dumbledore clearly favoring Harry when Keira feels he was not really on her side or supported her much. 
Now, she gets it, he didn’t ask for this - but she didn’t ask for her role either that was thrust upon her but at least he gets love for his while she was shunned. 
It’s an interesting dynamic where she can definitely empathize with his situation, having this responsibility thrust on him he didn’t ask for and constantly fighting of his and his friend’s lives, not wanting to put his friend’s at risk, being so confused about wtf is going on - she’s been there, she gets it. And when Ron requests her to give Harry some advice and help him out because he needs it and she’s the only one really who understands she agrees - mainly for Ron and his little puppy dog eyes - he’s adorable, how could she say no?! And she listens to Harry and validates him, because yeah, his feelings are totally valid and true, and tries to offer some advice based on her experiences and they sort of bond, and it’s not like she wants him to die or anything bad to happen to this kid! She’s not a horrible person! But she still has this resentment towards him, or at least the praise and adoration he gets, which again really isn’t his fault but... She also has a hard time being sympathetic to all the danger he’s experiencing because she dealt with so much so it’s like - yeah, yours isn’t really that bad =p You think your life is so hard? Psh, classic teenager.
So she offers her advice and to be someone to talk to for Harry if he needs it per Ron’s request and they sort of bond and she may even offer some help with things such as sneaking into the Forbidden Forest.
BUT THEN 
Sirius breaks out of Azkaban and it’s all Harry, Harry, Harry. HARRY?! HARRY FREAKING POTTER AGAIN?! Oh, Harry is his godson and he looks like James and reminds him of his friends he misses and he just wants to make sure he’s safe with everything he’s dealing with, sure his life is hard - oh what a supportive fucking person for Harry - WHAT ABOUT HER, HELLO?! She’s actually related to you! Sir! And she went through hell herself at Hogwarts. Didn’t go right to see her - okay she was probably in Egypt or Romania when he did BUT NOT THE POINT - straight to Harry because he’s the most important person in the world apparently! (I have an AU sort of story I really need to finish where Sirius actually breaks out during Keira’s 6th year I believe...no wait maybe 7th but even still clearly Sirius loves Harry and they have a special connection/bond and yeah Keira can get jealous).
Oh Keira may have hated Harry for awhile. And yeah, she gets it, Sirius has been through hell in prison, Harry is the only link to James and Lily who he loved and misses terribly, and those people he lives with are awful and Sirius would provide him a much better home that Harry deserves because no one deserves abuse - but Sirius is her family! Blood family! And she went through hell about being a scandalous member of the House of Black and admired Sirius honestly so much and then she finally gets to see him and he’s obsessed with Harry! She might just kill Harry herself. You’re welcome, Voldy! Jealous Aunty Bella? She’s that bitch that killed Harry =p 
She wouldn’t actively try to kill him but there were moment at the top of the stairs where she thought of giving him a little nudge and claiming he tripped and fell down them. 
Thank Merlin for Remus who always managed to be there for Harry and Keira and not show any sort of favoritism because he loves them and cares about them both. And is also a helpful voice of reason to Sirius who honestly doesn’t seem to get it =p Because Sirius is happy to see her and Jacob too, don’t get him wrong! And he’s proud of how she handled everything and what she’s done in her life, but feels like she did all that without him, like she doesn’t need him but Harry still does. And really, he broke out not because of Harry but because of Peter. If he broke out for Harry he would have done it years ago, not when Harry was a teenager, right?
I’m sure Remus sort of mediates a little sit down between Keira and Sirius because as members of the House of Black he knows very well they can be dramatic =p And he’ll get them to sit down and talk and be real and resolve this nonsense because they’re family and they love each other. And honestly they are so similar - SO similar - that Remus can get frustrated and be like ‘you two are acting exactly alike - like stubborn petty arses’ essentially to which they would both definitely respond about how they have nice arses =p
No worries about that, Sirius and Keira quickly bond, they are similar, and have a close relationship. But this is about Harry and Keira. And their relationship goes from bitterness to sort of a mentor to raging resentment to - omg, are we...family? Like...technically...sort of... And then this raging resentment turns into more like sibling rivalry/teasing... Like Keira is much harsher with her comments and ‘teasing’ towards Harry than any of the Weasley’s who she also views as family, as does Harry, but also forms this protective ‘I can mess with him and be mean to him but you can’t!’ She can say mean things, even beat up on him a little bit, but if anyone else tries it she’ll end them. He’s her punching bag =p 
She likes Harry, and they bond through their life experiences. She just has some resentment to work through. But then they actually form a sort of sibling-like bond. Where she then teases Harry and Ron mercilessly although still nicer to Ron and they may try to stand up for themselves but honestly they’re both pretty afraid of her and they know she loves them and will do anything to protect them. She just takes a long time to warm up to Harry. But they get there eventually. 
The Trio and their shenanigans - They should hang out with people from other houses not just a bunch of Gryffindors. Why are they being so cliquey and House-ist? =p
Part of her is also a little proud of their shenanigans but then part of her is like “oh a troll? Cute. Life size moving chess pieces? Psh, cursed ice knight. Spiders?! Still?! At first terrifying but now seriously annoying - he’s still causing drama?! Honestly, call an exterminator. A BASILISK?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME I WANT A BASILISK! I get a dragon that - okay, the dragon is super cool too, don’t get me wrong BUT A BASILISK! UGH SO JEALOUS! Oh you had a lesson on Boggarts? Yeah I had to deal with a whole army of them as part of a curse... Also had someone trying to kill me so... Yep, DADA Professor. Well she tried to use one of my friends so... Oh they just tried to kill you themselves? Didn’t use your friend so you couldn’t trust them and then kill one of your friends? Yeah, Cedric is incredibly sad and unjust but he wasn’t your best friend!” So a little... unimpressed...
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“Yeah, Rita is a real piece of....work...”
“Dolores Umbridge?! Oh wow... I’m...I’m so sorry...that’s awful. That’s worse than anything I had to face.”
18. Did MC ever return to Hogwarts for some reason?
Prior to the 1994 World Cup game I like to think they honored the previous winning team in a little pre-game ceremony so Keira was there for that obviously (although not technically at Hogwarts) and then attended the dragon challenge of the TriWizard Tournament because Charlie was clearly going to be a part of that and she does want to see him as much as possible with them working in different countries plus Bill was going as well and she can’t really work without her partner - they’re a package deal! 
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Did she make an appearance as an OG member of Weird Sisters for at least one song at the Yule Ball also that year? Perhaps. And she looked awesome =p 
Oh! And she definitely visited like the first day of Remus’ new job as DADA Professor - she was so proud! And maybe also to make sure he was getting Wolfsbane and all of that was good and taken care of. And then when he gets fired OH does she flip some tables and desks - Storms into Dumbeldore’s office, flip that desk, storm down to Snape’s Potions classroom, flip some of those tables and goes tf off! She is so pissed!
And then she’s obviously there for the Department of Ministry battle where she saves Sirius because nope, sorry, cannot have Sirius die like that. I have a whole post ranting about this =p And then the Battle of Hogwarts because again she’s not letting Remus and Tonks and Fred die. CAN’T DO IT I’M SORRY CANNOT! She came to fight and she came to win.
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*(I swear I wrote out a whole post about how I cannot acknowledge Sirius’ death or Tonks and Remus because of how unfair it is to Remus in particular whose life was so hard and how he deserves to be happy but I cannot find it! I looked and looked and I’ll keep looking but I’m sorry!)
19. Did MC attend Fred and George’s Grand Opening of Weasley’s Wizards Wheeze? What was their reaction to the twin’s epic exit of Hogwarts?
Keira has never been more proud of anyone before ever. That exit was... the most beautiful thing... awe inspiring, amazing, incredible... Literally brought a tear to her eye. SO PROUD! Slow clap proud =p
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Of course she made sure to be there at their opening, she’s very supportive of them and wants to make sure they know that! She probably made Charlie and Bill go to - not that their whole family probably weren’t already going and supportive but Keira was just making sure they showed their support. She didn’t care about what work they had - the baby dragon will hatch without you just fine! Let’s go! Allons-y! You telling me Tonks and Tulip weren’t also there?! They probably could keep that place afloat alone by themselves even though they’re not in school anymore - maybe just for the nostalgia. I’m sure a few other members of the Cursed Vaults Gang came to the opening to show their support as well, even if Keira made them =p 
Sorry this took so long to answer! Thanks for being patient! 💜
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donteattheappleshook · 5 years ago
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Of Cars and Bars Chapter 14/14
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Here it is, after three years, the epilogue to Of Cars and Bars. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and commented and sent kudos/liked or reblogged here or on Ao3 or Fanfiction.net. Every single one brought me so much joy and made me keep writing even when I didn't think I could. I hope you like the ending I gave these two idiots. 
Also, as always, thank you to @kmomof4​ for all your amazing help and support writing this story <3 Dedicating it to you for the last time :’(
Also thanks to @artistic-writer​ for helping me start this freaking epilogue when I was tearing my hair out! 
Summary:
Rated E
When Emma Swan is offered the chance to go on tour as an opener for one of the most popular up and coming bands of the decade, the last thing she expects is to find that the lead guitarist is the stranger she had a one night stand with five years ago.
This started out as a smutty two shot about Emma Ruby and Mary Margaret going on a road trip and has evolved into a slow-burn mutual pining angst-fest.
Read it from the beginning on Ao3 and Ffn because tumblr eats all my italics.
Epilogue - Heal Me
I wasn't looking for you / But I think maybe I was and didn't know / Oh this is love like wildness / Coursing through you like a drug
The trial had dragged on for another month. Another month of long nights and exhausting days at the end of which Killian came home to the tiny apartment he shared with his brother and his sister-in-law drained and worn out both emotionally and physically. But it was different now than it had been. Because Emma was there. She’d stayed. She’d joined them in their cramped little two bedroom until all of the drama was over and they were finally able to go back to New York.
It had been fun if he was honest. Sure, the four of them had been practically living on top of each other, but he felt supported, surrounded by love. He and Emma spent that month sneaking around like teenagers, occasionally waking up to disapproving looks from Liam and Belle, but they didn’t hold any real venom. He could tell that they were happy he had Emma.
Emma had been worried that Liam wouldn’t forgive her. She’d told him the whole story, about how she’d promised Liam back when they were on tour that she wouldn’t break his heart and when she had, Liam had called her out on it. While he was annoyed with his brother for meddling in his life, it was also another reminder that he had a family who would always look out for him.
Liam had forgiven her. Easily, to everyone’s surprise. He’d said that he understood that sometimes it took time for people to realise their mistakes and do the right thing. Killian was shocked to hear those words come from his brother’s mouth. He was always so black and white. Perhaps Belle was rubbing off on him. But maybe it was because she had come back and Liam realized that the present and future were what mattered, not the past. Whatever the reason was,  he was glad that the two most important people in his life had made peace. 
Gold had been denied probation, had been denied a mistrial and he was sent back to prison. He would likely have another chance at parole, another chance to appeal the decision, but they would deal with that when they came to it. For now, justice had been served and Killian could finally rest, feeling that Milah had been avenged in some way. 
When the dust had settled, they’d headed back to the States. Originally, they had wanted to start their tour right away but had decided that it was better to wait until the next summer. Besides, the Ugly Ducklings were in the middle of recording an album and Robin wanted them to finish it - wanted to have it drop while there was still some summer left. He also suggested that it would be better for them to tour after the record had been released so that people would know their songs and buy more tickets. 
There had been negotiations about that. About whether or not it was a good idea to have double headlining acts or if the Ugly Ducklings should still open for Abandon Ship! since they were still lesser known. That decision had been made for them however, when the girls’ album went platinum two weeks after it was released. 
Emma had been shocked. She didn’t understand what the hell had happened but somehow, overnight, they were famous. They couldn’t go out on the streets without being recognized, without constant demands for photos and autographs. Suddenly she was overwhelmed with requests for interviews and appearances on talk shows and morning shows. 
That had been another reason the tour was delayed. Between the success of the two groups, there was barely time left to schedule one, hardly any time that they were both available. Belle, as both of their managers now, had wanted them to ride the success of the album, to go on tour right away. But it hadn’t been possible. So it had been delayed until the new year. 
A sort of competition had started between the two bands as both their albums continued to have songs rivaling for the number one song in the country over the months that followed. Killian particularly enjoyed it because whenever Emma would brag that her song had beat his, he could brag that he still won because the song was about him. In fairness, she could claim the same. 
Emma was convinced that their sudden popularity had more to do with the very public display of affection between her and Killian that day in London. She was sure that people had looked her up and found the album that way. Killian was convinced that it was the video of their last encore that had gone viral. She’d created a one-time, exclusive song that had no other recording apart from one enthusiastic cameraman who had leaked it online and the throngs of cellphone videos. 
She’d given them that one taste of what she could do and then had finally released it a few months later with a whole album of equally fantastic songs. Besides, Killian had said, Why did it matter? People were listening to her music. They heard it and they liked it and she touched people with her lyrics and her melodies. Did it matter how they had gotten there?
Despite how busy they were, Emma and Killian still managed to find time to write together. They’d started in London whenever Killian had a particularly rough time with the case and needed to vent, needed an outlet for his pain. They’d continued when they moved back to New York - Emma with Ruby and Mary Margaret, and Killian with Graham and David. It was all of three months before their friends demanded that they move out of their apartments and in with each other, sick of the constant displays of affection. 
Emma felt bad - kind of. She kept expecting it to stop. Kept expecting to want him less, for the pull between them to relax, to slow. She thought she’d eventually stop wanting to touch him all the time, to make love to him all the time. But she didn’t. She couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t keep her hands to herself, nor could he keep his to himself. 
She couldn't help it. She loved being around him, loved the way he made her feel and laugh and think and the way he brought out the music in her. She liked talking to him, listening to him talk, liked being vulnerable with him and seeing him open up to her. Maybe this was just love, she thought. Maybe she really hadn’t felt it before him.
One of their songs, however, had blown up in a way she never expected. Most times, when they wrote, it was one helping the other work through a bit they were stuck on, helping them fix the chord or the lyric that sounded wrong. But this one they'd written together. The lyrics, the melody, and the feelings that inspired it were equally his and hers. 
They hadn’t even meant for it to be released. Ruby had overheard it when she’d come over when they were in the middle of a writing session. Her exact words had been ‘holy fuck’. She’d had them play it for Belle and the guys and Mary Margaret, all of whom insisted that the song needed to be recorded, not by either group but by the two of them, released as a stand alone single. 
Belle had insisted they release it on social media first. On twitter and instagram and others Emma hadn’t heard of. They’d released it under Killian Jones from Abandon Ship! and Emma Swan from the Ugly Ducklings, and they’d recorded it in their apartment, both of them sitting on a pair of kitchen chairs in their living room with a few mics set up. Just them and their guitars playing together and to each other, two of the biggest new faces in music, one of the most talked about and gossiped about couples in the industry (and drooled over as Killian liked to remind everyone), singing a love song to and about each other. 
They went viral in an hour. The song was constantly talked about online and on talk shows and in press interviews - as was their relationship. They were asked dozens and dozens of times to confirm that they were in fact a couple. Killian was thrilled that he could say yes, that he could tell the whole world that he loved Emma Swan and that she loved him too. He was even more thrilled when she was the one to say it. 
It didn’t scare her anymore. She was still a private person, still didn’t like anyone knowing anything about her personal life really, but he knew that she didn’t care that the whole world knew she was in love with him. And that thought made his heart soar every time. 
And then the really crazy thing happened. They were nominated. For a Grammy. They hadn’t believed it at first when they’d gotten the call, had thought it was a prank orchestrated by Graham and David. But when it turned out to be true, and it really sunk in, he’d pulled her into his arms, laughing into her neck, unable to stop smiling. He’d known that they wrote good music together, knew that she made him better and that he made her better. But he’d never imagined this. 
Arrangements had been made quickly, Belle determined to ride the wave of their Grammy win - nomination, Belle, Emma kept reminding her only to receive a dismissive wave. They managed to find a way to book a tour, to move enough things around so that they could start the day after the awards from Los Angeles and then make their way across the country. And then the UK. And then the rest of Europe. 
That was where they were now, in a hotel room in L.A. the day of the Grammys. Emma was supposed to be getting ready for the awards tonight. She should have left a little while ago really. But while she was excited to go back on tour, was honoured and humbled that they’d been nominated for best song, the idea of leaving the hotel room, leaving the hotel room bed where she was currently tangled up with a very attractive and very naked rockstar made spending hours being gussied up sound like a far less appealing option.
“We need to get going, Swan,” Killian said detangling himself from her arms despite her best efforts and stepping off the side of the bed. Emma pouted.
“No, we don’t,” she whined, reaching for him again but he danced out of her reach. He laughed. He always laughed when she was this frustrated, and a little needy for him too, honestly. It wasn’t her fault. He was standing there next to the bed in all his God-given glory, miles of bare arms and legs and chest and ass on display. It was really just cruel of him. 
“You’re right,” he said. “I don’t have to get going. You do.” 
She groaned and rolled her eyes, not happy with the reminder of what the rest of her day and night was going to look like. “Do we have to go? Why don’t we just stay here?” she asked, reaching for his hand and trying to coax him back into bed with her. He was really doing his best to resist, she could tell, but his resolve was weakening. She saw the smirk pulling at his lips, saw the way his eyebrow ticked up. He didn’t pull his hand away.
“Emma, it’s the Grammys. We’re nominated. We can’t just not go.” She couldn’t tell if he was trying to convince her or himself.
She dropped his hand, rolled over onto her back and let out another, long-suffering groan. She knew she had to go but there were so many other fun things she’d rather do instead. The fact that they’d just done them was irrelevant. He sat on the bed next to her, laughing again.
“I know that,” she said. “But you get to just throw on a suit and head out the door. I have to go let myself be poked and prodded by a bunch of strangers trying to fit me into some ridiculous dress that Mary Margaret picked out.” 
“Don’t you want to go and be pampered by people whose only job is to dote on you?” 
“I’d rather you pamper and dote on me,” she said, running her arm up his forearm. 
“Oh, really?” he asked, eyebrows raised, leaning in just a little.
“Mhm. Poked and prodded sounds good too.” 
He grinned. “And how exactly would you like to be pampered, Swan?” he asked, his own hand finding her wrist, trailing up the inside of her arm to her elbow, up to her shoulder and across her collarbone. 
“You know exactly how I like it,” she told him, trying to keep her breathing steady as his hand ghosted down between her breasts, over her stomach and across her hips. 
He hummed. “But I want you to tell me.” Fucking hell. 
“Kiss me,” she said, still shy when it came to this sort of thing but the way he reacted whenever she told him what she wanted, when she talked when they were together like this spurred her on. 
“Where?” he asked with a wicked grin. She rolled her eyes, grabbed hold of the back of his neck and pulled him down to her lips. He went willingly, his mouth sliding over hers, lips parting when she licked at them, stroking her tongue with his. She really really thought she’d get over the way he kissed some day, that she’d get used to it, that it wouldn’t turn her on as much as if his mouth was moving between her legs. But god the man could kiss. She was already squirming under him, caged between his arms that were braced on either side of her, decidedly not on her body. 
“Touch me,” she whined against his lips. She felt him smile against her. 
“Where?” he asked before kissing her again. She took hold of his hand, lowered it to the ache between her thighs.
“Here,” she breathed. 
She felt his breath catch, puffed against her lips as his fingers met her wet heat. “Always so wet for me, Swan,” he mumbled.
“Always,” she said. “Please, Killian,” she asked and he obliged, slipping one finger inside of her, sliding in easily and pumping slowly. She arched her back, pushing up against his hand. “More,” she begged and he slid in a second finger. 
“Like that?” he asked, increasing the speed of his thrusts. It felt amazing but not enough. She looked up at him, saw him watching her with that same hint of the wicked smile from before, but his eyes were darker now, hooded as she writhed beneath him. But he waited. She knew she would have to tell him what she wanted. Fine. If he was going to make her beg for it then she was going to make sure he paid for it. 
She grabbed his hair, pulled his head down. “Kiss my neck,” she told him, frowning when he began pressing soft, slow brushes of his lips down the column of her throat. “No,” she told him, tightening her hold, his fingers were still moving inside of her and she canted her hips, trying to increase his rhythm. “Properly. Bite me. Lick me,” she demanded. 
She gasped as his mouth opened against her skin, his tongue dragging and flicking as his lips sucked at her flesh, finding the spots he knew drove her crazy. She canted her hips again and he took pity on her, flattening his palm against her so she could grind her clit against the heel. His teeth found the spot where her shoulder met her neck, biting down, just the right side of painful. She moaned and his lips curled against her shoulder. 
“Lower,” she insisted, voice cracking as she dragged his face down to her breast. He waited. “Fuck, Killian, are you gonna make me ask you to suck my tits?” she growled, getting really annoyed at this game he seemed to be having so much fun with. 
“That will do, Love,” he said before shifting on the bed so that he was laying next to her, hovering over her, steadying himself on an elbow. He put a knee between her legs, kept up the slow, torturous movement of his fingers as he took her breast into his mouth, rolling his tongue over her nipple before sucking at the sensitive bud. 
“Yes,” she moaned. “Use your tongue again,” she demanded and he groaned against her before dragging his tongue over her nipple, flicking at it. “More,” she demanded, not even really sure what she was asking for but when he bit down on the tip she practically screamed in pleasure. Thank God he knew what she was asking for. 
“Both of them,” she begged, not realising until his fingers slipped out of her heat that she’d made a mistake. “Wait, no,” she started but he only chuckled against her breast, his hand coming to the other, cupping it, wet fingers drawing lazy circles around her nipple before he dragged his thumb over it. 
Her head fell back against the pillows, a small cry drawn from her lips as she arched her back into his touch. She needed more though, missed the friction between her legs and she grabbed at his hips, trying to nudge him over so she could press his thigh against her core. He didn’t move easily though and she cried out in frustration.
“Fuck, Killian! Give me something to ride!” She felt him stiffen, felt the way his fingers pinched at her nipple in a way that didn’t seem intentional. Good. She was getting to him too. She really only had the chance to feel smug for a second before he lowered himself into the cradle of her thighs, the rough hair below his navel pressing down on her clit as he let her grind her hips against him. 
Emma was reeling, unable to think of anything besides the feel of his mouth and his fingers on her nipples and the pressure between her legs that was growing with every grind of her hips against him. She was lightheaded, lost to the sensations, pretty sure she was going to come from this alone. She let out a desperate moan and felt his answering growl against her skin, felt him press his hips further into her. She wanted more. She wanted -
“I want your mouth,” she gasped. “I want your tongue inside me and your fingers. I want you to lick me, suck my clit.” She grabbed at his hair again, pulled sharply. “Eat me out,” she demanded. The words felt crass coming out of her mouth but she couldn't think of another way to say it. That was exactly what she wanted. She wanted him to lick and suck at her like a starving man. She wanted him to devour her.
He growled again, giving her nipple a harsh flick before sliding down her body, pressing fast, hot kisses across her belly on his way down. She cried out, doubling over when he began his assault, his tongue dragging through her folds once, twice, before pushing inside of her, curling and licking at the wetness there. She felt his groan vibrating through her core, sending shivers down her spine.
She moaned, called out his name, and he did it again. And then again before pulling back and sliding his fingers back in, reaching deeper, stretching her wider. He curled them the same way he had his tongue, dragging against that spot that made her see stars. She could feel his breath on her but not his mouth and she writhed in frustration. 
“What's wrong, Swan?” he asked, a teasing lilt to his voice but it was obscured by the rough tenor that betrayed his desire. “Is that not what you want?”
“I already told you what I want!” she snapped, lifting her hips towards his face but he pulled back. 
“Tell me again,” he rasped. Asshole, she thought, she glanced down at him and saw the darkness in his eyes, the blue almost completely swallowed by black, his lips swollen and damp. He was pleading, looking nearly as on edge as she was.
“I want your mouth on me, Killian. I want you to make me come on your tongue. And then again on your cock.” 
“Because I’m the only one who can make you fall apart every time, aren’t I? The only one who's ever been able to.” She never should have told him that. 
“Then prove it!” 
She saw the challenge in his eyes as they narrowed. His free hand grabbed hold of her thigh, wrapping around it and pulling her roughly against his mouth as he dove in, finding her clit with his tongue, flicking and circling and toying with it before pulling it into his mouth. He added a finger, thrusting faster, stretching her, filling her so perfectly as he continued to lick at her most sensitive spot.
“Yes!” she cried. “Oh, fuck, Killian, yes! Don’t stop.” She was grinding against his face, against his fingers, riding him faster and faster to her climax. He was relentless, pressing down on her hips to hold her steady as he pulled harder at her clit, curled his fingers, dragging them against her walls on every pass. The coil tightened in her belly, in her spine, every nerve in her body burning hotter until she was sure she would burst into flames.
“Make me come,” she gasped between moans and he rolled his tongue, pulling her clit harder into his mouth, sucking deeper and she broke, her back arching off the bed, toes curling into the mattress as her fingers gripped the pillow under her head. 
It felt like ages before she had enough control of her limbs, enough of her senses back to look up at him - to even open her eyes. When she did, he was kneeling at the end of the bed, eyes hooded and hand stroking lightly at his cock, smearing her wetness over it as he watched her. 
“I love watching you come,” he said, voice low and strained. He moved to fall over her but she stopped him, putting her foot on his chest. He raised an eyebrow and she smirked.
“You’re not the only one who likes to watch,” she told him and felt the heat of his desire wash over her as he gripped himself tighter, his hand pumping over his generous length. 
Emma cocked her head as she took him in, the clenching of his jaw, the tauntness of his neck and shoulders, and the way the muscles flexed in his forearm as he brought himself closer to the edge. His head fell back for a moment as his hand sped up and she bit her lip. Fuck, he looked hot like this, lost in his own pleasure, mouth hanging open as small, desperate sounds escaped him. 
His eyes found her again, raking over her from head to toe as he increased his pace, biting his lip. She rubbed her legs together, trying to soothe the ache that was already building between them. She saw his eyes flare and zero in on her center.
“Bloody hell, Emma,” he groaned. “Please.”
“Please what?” she asked and she smirked as his eyes darkened. “Tell me what you want,” she taunted, turning his own game against him. 
He growled before crawling up the bed, pulling her legs apart and pushing himself between them. She gasped when she felt the tip of him brush through her folds. He leaned over her, caging her in with his arms as he brought his face within breathing distance of her own, speaking his next words against her lips. 
“I want to bury myself inside you. Push my cock deep into your cunt until you cry out like you always do when I fill you up just the way you like.” She gasped into his mouth, back arching with every teasing, shallow thrust of his hips, his cock nudging at her clit and sending shockwaves coursing through her. He brought his hand to her breast, palming it, rolling her nipple under it until it was hard, craving more. Fuck. Why did she think she could beat him at this game? “Is that what you want to hear?” he asked, catching her bottom lip between his teeth and dragging them slowly over it before moving to her jaw. 
“Yes,” she moaned, grabbing hold of his hip, pulling him closer. “Fucking do it already,” she demanded and he didn’t even laugh, didn’t revel in his victory which told her that he was just as desperate as she was. He took himself in hand, finding her entrance and slid in with one firm stroke. 
“So wet,” he gasped, head falling to her chest. “So tight.” 
She pushed her hips up against him, letting him slip even deeper and he took the hint, pulling back only to thrust back in hard and fast and so fucking deep. She held on to his shoulders as he rutted against her, a series of grunts and gasps leaving him as he moved inside of her, his pace fast, rough, almost sloppy. She revelled in it, in his desperation and naked want for her. 
She could tell he was close, the cries falling from his lips coming faster, his thrusts matching them. She felt the sweat on his back, the strain of his muscles as he raced towards that edge. She was close too. The deep, powerful thrusts hitting a spot inside of her that always sent her careening towards her peak. She brought her hand down between them, circling at her clit in time with the pounding of his hips.
“Fuck,” he breathed against her and she didn’t know if it was because of his own pleasure or the thought of her touching herself. She didn’t care though as he increased his pace, arm sliding around her back, hand gripping her shoulder so hard she was sure he’d leave bruises - wouldn’t that be fun to explain on the red carpet - and she could tell he was nearly there. 
He pushed her hand away, his own fingers taking over, his thumb pressing and circling so hard it was almost painful. She let out a shocked cry as she felt herself racing towards her orgasm, no longer in control, the sensation overwhelming. She gasped into his ear, her words choking on her cries. “I want you to come.” 
He groaned, hand snapping to the mattress beside her, fisting in the sheets as he drove into her at a breakneck pace before crying out against her neck. He pressed down on her clit, scraping at it as he spilled himself inside of her and she jerked, scream catching in her throat as her body convulsed, her orgasm crashing over her hard and fast and sudden. He kept his hand there and the pressure, the sting of it kept the waves coursing through her, aftershocks pulsing through her endlessly until he finally released her, stroking her gently, soothingly as he eased her down. 
His arms shook with the strain of holding his weight off of her and he slowly rolled over, collapsing on his side. Still trembling, she turned her head so she could look at him, always loving the way his face looked after he came, eyes closed, brow pulled up, mouth open - an expression of blissful anguish. She reached out, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand and then brushing her thumb over his bottom lip. 
He caught her hand, kissed her palm though panting breaths. His eyes fluttered open, smiling at her sweetly at first and then with increasing smugness.
“What?” 
He reached out, traced her jaw with his thumb. “Darling you are going to look thoroughly fucked walking down that red carpet.” 
Right on cue, there was a banging at their door. “Emma! You’re late! You have two seconds to get your ass dressed and out this door before I come in and drag you out,” Mary Margaret warned. Emma groaned and Killian laughed.
“Well, at least she’s started asking before using her key,” he shrugged. Yes, she’d only made that mistake once and she’d gotten more of an eyeful of Killian than she’d ever wanted. Emma rolled out of bed, Killian’s laughter still following her as she pulled on a bra and underwear before throwing her sweats on. She went to open the door, Killian throwing the sheet over his hips. 
Mary Margaret stood on the other side, eyes raised to the ceiling before she looked down, making sure she wouldn’t be seeing a naked Killian again. She looked Emma over from head to toe and then glanced back at where Killian was laying in the bed behind her. 
“Oh, for God's sake,” she groaned. “You do realise we need to be at the Staples Center in three hours and we were supposed to be at hair and makeup twenty minutes ago.” 
“Can’t I just do that on my own?” she whined. “Just throw on some mascara and some lipstick and maybe a dress I can actually move in?”
Mary Margaret took a deep, centering yoga breath. “Emma. You are going to walk on stage in front of thousands of people. This will be broadcast world wide. You are not going to slap some makeup on your face and wear your damn jeans.”
“I didn’t say my jeans.”
“This is serious,” she said, taking her hands, her tone softer now. “Emma, your music has reached so many people, touched so many lives. And now people want to thank you for it, want to congratulate you for it with the biggest honour you can recieve in this business.”  
Emma looked down, a bit abashed. “Okay.”
“Good. So show some goddamn respect and let’s go doll you up!” Emma’s mouth fell open, eyes snapping to her friend. Had she been tricked? She’d been tricked. Damn Mary Margaret. 
After hours of being poked and prodded in a much less pleasant way than earlier, Emma was released from the studio. She had to admit, she looked pretty damn good. Her dress was a dark, midnight blue that brought out her skin tone and hugged her shape (probably enhanced it if she was being honest). Her makeup was flawless but thankfully not heavy and overdone like she’d feared. Her hair, however, had refused to lose that slight madness, that slight wildness that screamed that she had been completely and thoroughly fucked. She smiled a little secret smile at the idea. 
“I told you,” Mary Margaret said as she, Ruby and Belle all took a moment to complete a few finishing touches before heading out the door. There were limos waiting outside, the guys already dressed and ready to go. They probably even had time for a nap, Emma begrudged them. And a snack, she thought as her stomach growled. 
Belle had planned out the limos strategically. Graham, David, Liam and herself were in one, Ruby and Mary Margaret in another. Emma and Killian had been specifically instructed to show up in a third limo, last of the three to arrive. Belle said they needed to play up their relationship for the tour and the publicity. And they were nominated together. 
Emma wasn’t thrilled about using her relationship for fame but she did like that she’d have Killian beside her all night, there holding her hand and making sure she didn’t panic and freeze up in front of everyone. Or trip in the stupid heels Belle had picked out. 
Graham and David popped out of the car to say hello to Mary Margaret and Ruby. David took Mary Margaret’s hand, twirling her around like a princess as he showered her with compliments and she giggled like a schoolgirl. Graham, a man of few words, took one look at Ruby and his jaw dropped, a breathless ‘wow’ escaping him. Ruby smirked, grabbing him by his tie and pressing her lips to his. The dazed look on his face when she pulled away and wiped the lipstick off his face was priceless.
Killian stepped out, dressed in a dark blue suit that made his eyes look even brighter, as though that were even possible. His hair was combed neatly and his beard was trimmed. Emma’s jaw practically dropped when she saw him. In all the months they’d been together now, she’d never seen him dressed up like this. He looked good. She smirked as she watched his eyes rake over her, his tongue coming out to wet his bottom lip. 
“Swan,” he said, reaching his hand out for her. She took it, letting him help her into the car. She slid over and he followed her in. Before the door could be shut though, Belle stopped it, one hand on the frame. She shot Killian a death glare. 
“If she shows up with even one hair out of place, one smudge of lipstick on either of you, I will murder you myself. Do you hear me?” It should have been funny, but both of them swallowed, nodding, worried she might follow through on her threat. “Good,” she said, her stare still hard. “See you there.” 
The door shut and Killian turned to her as the car pulled away. He smiled at her, reaching into his jacket pocket. “I got you something,” he said. Emma cocked her head to see what it might be. He pulled out a little paper bag, the waxy kind. It had been folded at the end to keep it sealed. He handed it to her and Emma opened it, the smell hitting her first before she saw what was inside and her mouth watered. 
“I love you,” she said and he laughed. He’d brought her a freaking bear claw. She took a bite, making sure not to spill any on her dress and chewed gratefully. She loved that he knew she’d be starving, that he’d thought to stop at a bakery somewhere to pick this up. She loved when he did this kind of thing, the little gestures to show he cared. 
She slid across the seat, tucking herself under his arm and leaning against him as she munched on her snack, even offering him a bite at one point - that was how thankful she was. She liked these moments, the quiet ones. Sure, they were on their way to a huge, worldwide event, but for right now it was just the two of them. 
It was rare now that they had the chance to just sit and cuddle and feel normal. Their lives had become so hectic, but through it all, Killian had been there, had kept her feeling safe, had kept her feeling human even when she thought the world would overwhelm her. She was happy. Despite the madness of her new life, she was happier than she’d ever been. Her family had grown, she had a man she loved and who loved her in a way she hadn’t believed she’d ever deserve. She lay her head back on his shoulder, looking at him and wondering how she’d gotten so lucky. 
“What, Love?” he asked, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Emma only smiled, reaching up with her non-bearclaw-occupied hand and cupping the back of his neck, pulling his lips down over her own. She didn’t know why it had taken her so long to let him in, but as he slanted his lips over hers, bearclaw forgotten, she was damn happy that he’d waited, happy that she’d seen the light before she let him slip through her fingers. She pulled him closer, holding on tighter. She didn’t plan on ever letting go. 
Belle took one look at them when they stepped out of the limo and joined their friends on the carpet. Her eyes panned over the two of them before rolling skyward, a heavy sigh leaving her. 
“Seriously?”  
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thechaoscryptid · 5 years ago
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Writer’s Tag Game, Bouncy’s Edition
Many thanks to @tipsyraconteur for tagging me ❤❤ I know I said this was going to be my strictly Naruto blog but there’s definitely some of my other fandoms that are going to worm their way in heh.
Rules: brag to your heart’s content, you’re awesome, and then tag 5-10 people to do the same.
I’m tagging (if you’d like to play, no obligation): @magnustesla, @scarecrowinthewoods, @dunloth, @caped-ace, @alexianite, @benicemurphy, and @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul (you Voltron peeps, it’s Ary 😉)
1) What’s a paragraph you’ve written that you’re really proud of?
From Order and Obedience (KakaIru): 
“Think Konoha’s dog is going to be an easy fuck, ranger?” Kakashi asked, eyeing every possible exit. Just in case. “That my allegiance is so easily swayed?”
“I think if you were still wearing your boots you’d be trembling in them,” Iruka said without missing a beat. “Your desire to serve the light may not make sense to me, but even I can see that the way your skin drinks in the moon would be pleasing to any god. I’m not demanding darkness, only obedience.”
2) Pick a favorite scene from your longest fic!
The scene in Wake the White Wolf (KakaIru) where Sera and Kakashi part ways. I still get chills at the lines “You are no longer my problem. I am no longer your whore.” There’s plenty of fantastic scenes from that fic, but that still remains one of my favorites. That whole arc, really, from when she finds out the news to when it’s finally 100% over. 
3) Give us a snippet of your most recent WIP:
Voltron! This is a part of one of my stories for the Sheith Big Bang coming up:
A galaxy will never be enough to contain my love for you. 
Mechanically, Keith’s hands go through the motions of powering up Black as Krolia’s voice comes through the comm link. It’s another diplomacy mission--another he’d rather skip in favor of liberating some far off colony from oppressors or just staying in bed, unmoving. The lion doesn’t speak to him the way she used to, and neither does anything else. The universe, for all its glory, has become simple.
Dull.
Grey, even with color sprays from passing planets and nebulas.
He chews on the side of his lip as he lets his head tip to the side, checking to make sure things are in order. His mother’s still rattling off information about the mission and he just wants to tell her to be quiet, he’ll figure it out on his own later. He wants to hear the ghost of Shiro’s voice whispering it loves him again.
Keith…
Ghosts are never enough, but Shiro’s I’ll love you until forever ends echoing in his head assuages the pre-mission blues. “Not that it’s ever anything else these days,” he says under his breath. Krolia asks what he said, and he blames it on a squeaky chair. “Gotta get in here and tune up the cockpit when I’m back. Project for Shiro and I.”
“Well, just as long as it doesn’t interfere with things now. You ready to give ‘em hell?”
Keith pastes a smile on his face, though he knows she’s not on the video link. “Would you expect anything different?”
4) If all of your published fics sparred, who would win and why?
Ohh, tough one...based off of stats, Wake the White Wolf, no question. Off of personal preference? Probably Crescendo (SakuOro) right now. 
5) What’s a fic/author you’ve taken inspiration from and in which one of your works did you incorporate that inspiration?
I won’t lie, Tipsy, a lot of my recent style choices came from Scar Tissue 😅 I found I really enjoy storytelling in present tense, with longer flowing lines punctuated by short lil ones for emphasis. It’s appeared in...most of my recent stuff? I switched within the last year or so.
(putting the rest under a cut because there’s some longer answers)
6) Which fanfiction character do you enjoy writing the most? In which one of your fics do you think you wrote them best?
This is another tough one xD I think I actually have to go with a three part answer here, though really, I enjoy writing so many more.
Kakashi Hatake: Shatter Me (KakaIru), best fic
Dazai Osamu: Marionette (Dazushi), best fic
Keith Kogane: since I can’t tell which one of my bang fics yet, I’ll go with my favorite published, which is Unsteady (Sheith). Truly, it’s going to be the fic from the above snippet hehe
7) Smut or fluff? Give us a sneak peek of your favorite fluffy/smutty scene you’ve written.
Mmm, smut. I’ve really got to be in the right mood for fluff, and my not-so-guilty pleasure reading is angsty smut.
My favorite fluffy/smutty scene...I think it’s probably from Reciprocity (KakaSaku)!
He wishes he still had the Sharingan to capture these moments. Sakura’s still got her thin undershirt on, but the delicate hollows of her collarbones call to him as she reaches over to light their lantern. There will be no fire tonight save for the one burning low and heavy in his stomach, as if he’s swallowed molten rock.
“Do I need to do the rest?” she says, dragging her hands up her legs as she stands. “Should I strip for you, Kakashi?”
He stands along with her and tugs off his mask first, then his shirt. Sakura gasps as the angry red of fresh scars is revealed, fingers twitching toward him before he shakes his head. “Let me,” he murmurs.
Inch by inch, the pale curve of her stomach is revealed. Shadows flicker and dance over it along with the flames, and when Kakashi pulls Sakura’s shirt the entire way off he thinks not even the prettiest sunset could compare. There’s several scars--no shinobi makes it out without them--and no shortage of muscle packed into her small frame, but somehow she makes a battleborn body beautiful.
Sakura makes life beautiful.
Her breath hitches when he tells her this, something shifting in her at the tender touch of his lips against her forehead. “You’re sure you don’t want me to just jump you right now?” she says breathlessly.
“No jumping,” he says. “Only falling.”
8) What’s a scene in one of your fics you wish you would receive fanart for?
Uh, literally any one 😅 My top choice, though, I think would be of my favorite OT3 in Desperately:
“I’ll be a lot cuter when the day comes.” Sakura shoved the bandana up and crunched her nose as she looked back with Ibiki. “You might have to leave me at the altar to catch everyone fainting at the sight of me.”
Ibiki’s laugh rumbled through the living room as he gathered her back to his chest. “We’re never leaving you there, baby, you know we couldn’t,” he said. “Or maybe we could take turns catching them. How d’you think your clothes will hold up, Rai?”
“They’ll be fine. I volunteer for catching duty as long as it’s you two falling for me at the end,” he said, spreading his arms over the back of the couch as he watched them sway. “And of course, falling into bed with me later.” Ibiki cocked an eyebrow as Sakura giggled into his scarred chest. “What, you think I”m joking?”
“Never considered it,” Ibiki said. He pulled away from Sakura to trail his hand up her arm, urging her to spin. His uniform lifted from her creamy skin and Raidou sucked in a breath as the purple lace on the bottom of her underwear was revealed. She knew he couldn’t resist those, and Ibiki certainly didn’t mind them either.
“Come here,” he said. Ibiki let her go and gave her a gentle push toward Raidou’s outstretched arms before flopping next to them as the song began to repeat. “I saw those. You can’t hide them from me.” Her hair tickled his face as he kissed over her cheek down to her ear. “Wearing my husband’s shirt and my wife-to-be’s favorite underwear, how scandalous, Sakura,” he purred.
“I’m sure your wife-to-be will be so very displeased I stole them,” she said, pulling back with a mock pout before turning to beg a kiss from Ibiki. “I hear she picked them specifically for tonight because she wanted to get laid.”
9) Would you ever consider turning one of your fics into a podfic? If no, why not?
Not on my own? I have hearing problems, so it’s just really never occurred to me. If anyone else wanted to, though, I wouldn’t say no!
10) The best (or your favourite) 5 reviews you’ve ever gotten! Don’t forget to tell us which one of your fics received them!
There’s so many 😭😭 My commenters are all fucking awesome, but I’ll trawl my saved comments for some highlights!
P5eud0Nym on Wake the White Wolf (KakaIru omegaverse): So, I just wanted to say you’ve been doing a fantastic job. I appreciate that this isn’t, and hasn’t at any point been, a dumb tropey kink fic. That you’ve taken the time to put so much heart into all of this. The fact that you’re exploring the politics, the social issues, and writing all of the characters as being more than just their A/B/O designations, so good. The multifaceted way you write is just really and truly refreshing. It’s obvious how much work and thought you put into this. You’re tackling a lot of really important stuff, from consent to civil rights, and it’s some grade A USDA certified Good Shit. Thanks for the fic and keep up the good work <3
Lilmeliz on Monster (ShigaDabi): AAAAAAA GUARANTEED I CAN BLOW YOUR MIND mwa. Please excuse the lame dua lipa reference I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I couldn’t-- Delicious. Finally some fucking good food. I want to congratulate you. This is such a beautiful, touching, heartwarming masterpiece. I even cried a little. I usually read shiggy with his dark past and his (soul) scars and all that jazz, and venturing into the thought of him having a mere fiber of good will in himself, in his actual self, is risky and prone to be ooc. But here it sounds right. It feels personal, private and even possible, my boi :( Dabi is an angel, I’m dying. I like the reminder “they lie, they kill...” Yes he’s an angel but he’s still evil. I don’t know what else to add but really, this is stunning! IM GONNA TATTOO THISSS amazing work 
Prism0467 on Forbidden (KakaIru): You have written their mutual dependency with such nurturing attention to detail I feel as if I know them. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt...embraced by a work of fanfiction before now...this may well be a first. Your enthusiasm for this pairing comes through loud and clear, I’ll tell you that :)
PearlBear on Crescendo (SakuOro): Wow. Just wow. This is brilliant, heart-wrenching, creative and extremely, extremely well-written. You have such a way with words, I was actually crying. And you adapt their lives as shinobi so seamlessly to situations that happen in real life (how many partners give up on possibilities for their significant one and get nothing in return?). This story managed to move me deeply and all the while, they all were in-character (it hurt when Tsunade looked at Orochimaru in the same way they all do, also loved how Tobirama and Madara are his parents). The omegaverse wasn’t heavy at all, instead it’s well integrated enough that I, who don’t particularly like it, barely noticed and completely accepted it. It’s just the way things are. You manage to convey so, so much in a few words. I’m amazed. So, thank you for sharing this! I am very, very excited for what’s next, whether Orochimaru experiments to save himself, whether Sakumo commits suicide (or worse, dies on this mission), whether... So many possibilities. Your story is outstanding. Thank you for writing this gem!
(insert special shoutout to Tipsy’s review of Testing the Waters...)
and no comment appreciation section would be complete without at least one from @magnustesla! 
This one from Of Scale and Steel (Sheith naga AU): Ary, sometimes I am left speechless and I don’t quite know how to articulate my thoughts after reading one of your fics. Like, everything is just so...so brilliant that it’s like my brain fucks off when I try to get my thoughts down onto a page. Turning well known and beloved characters into something else entirely isn’t easy and often they miss the mark leaving the reader not really connecting with it. But you, you are brilliant and clever in all that you write because damn, I love Naga Keith. It feels like it IS part of canon. And your oc? Super adorable and she just belongs. I really loved her interactions with Shiro and the chewing on his finger had me rollling because it reminded me of when J would test everything by chomping it. Not relevant but it sparked a good laugh from me, especially because it is totally something kids do. I’m so fucking proud of you and I’m excited to see you get your mojo back with this fandom. Love you ❤
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bright-molina · 7 years ago
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What Goes Around Comes Around (Part One)
Summary: The Isle of the Lost was miserable, that much was obvious. So when the opportunity came for you to go to Auradon you took it. Only you weren’t there for fun, you were there to finally get justice. After all they do say what goes around, comes around.
Characters: Mal, Evie, Jay, Carlos, fem!reader (daughter of Dr. Facilier), Uma (briefly), Harry (briefly), Gil (briefly), Ben (briefly)
Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse, swearing
Word Count: 3240
A/N: Okay so I’m actually really excited for this guys! This is sorta au-ish, mainly because of the whole dark!VK concept. Let me know what you guys think! Also as of right now there’s really no specific pairing so let me know if you guys have any ideas! 
Part Two (x)
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There was always a lot of things wrong with your life. You had grown up on the Isle of the Lost, thrown to the side by these supposedly good people. Your father resented you growing up. You were nothing but a pawn to him, someone to carry on his voodoo magic. The funny thing was that it didn’t even work on the Isle. But still he forced you to learn it all, beating you when it wouldn’t go right as if it were all your fault.
When you were ten years old Jay found you curled up in an alley, your face and arms scattered with fresh cuts and bruises. He was in the same condition as you were. He helped you clean up with what little medical supplies you could steal from the shops. No child had it easy on the Isle of the Lost and the people on Auradon didn’t care one single bit. You resented them for it.
Eventually you made friends with other kids around the Isle. You got along well with Uma, daughter of Ursula. Neither of you ever showed many emotions other than anger and confidence. And yet there was a mutual understanding of those feelings you both pushed deep down better than anyone. The crew that ran with her soon became allies to you as well. Jay eventually introduced you to his other friends, Carlos, Evie, and Mal. You had heard things about the daughter of Maleficent in particular and needless to say you were a bit surprised.
There was never a moment after you met your friends where you felt alone. They were all you had on that dreaded island. And they made it bearable. It definitely wasn’t okay, but you could handle everything a little better than before. In return you made sure they knew that they could always confide in you, whether they simply wanted to vent or whether you helped to heal and patch them up after a particularly brutal night at home.
You received a letter one day, straight from the palace, signed by Prince Ben himself. They wanted you to attend Auradon Prep.
“None of us are going,” Mal tore up her letter first. “We’ve gotten along just fine without their fucking pity”
“Don’t you understand?” A wild look appeared in your eyes, one that showed them the thousands of thoughts running through your head at that very moment. “We have to. Haven’t you ever heard the saying you reap what you sow?” You sighed when you saw the confused looks on each of their faces. You stood up from your spot next to Jay and turned to face him, Mal, Evie, and Carlos. “We get to Auradon and from there we figure out how to make it ours. Give them a taste of their own medicine, all that good stuff”
Your need for vengeance spread quickly throughout the room. Jay was the first to stand at your side. “Come on, don’t you want to get them back for all that they’ve done to us? I mean it’s only fair”
“We take the king down?” Evie asked and you nodded your head confirming her thoughts. What you wanted was to show the people of Auradon what it was they had done, to show them what kind of person their king really was. To make them see that he was the real villain. Evie agreed next and the same crazed look appeared in her eyes when she realized all that you could accomplish in Auradon once King Adam had fallen. “We’ll save everyone here. All of our friends, all those innocent kids. Then the only souls on this island will be the ones who truly deserve it”
A look passed between Mal and Carlos and then they joined your sides.
“Let’s do it then,” Carlos took your hand and a soft smile appeared on his face. “I’m with you all the way” He said honestly. You smiled back and the five of you stood, hand in hand, ready to finally be gone from the Isle. “Let’s go dethrone a king”
“It’ll take a while,” You told Uma as you paced across the floor of the Chip Shop. “But we will get it done, I can promise you that”
“I can’t believe you’re going to Auradon,” Gil said as he looked at your letter. He couldn’t read the words on the page very well but he knew the seal of the king and what it looked like. “You’ll remember me right?” He asked you suddenly. Evidently he hadn’t been listening to you explain your plan. You smiled softly and nodded.
“How could I not?” You told him. He seemed satisfied by your answer and went back to looking at the letter, this time with Harry looking over his shoulder. You looked back towards Uma and sighed once more when you saw the look on her face. “If I could smuggle you over there with me I would in a heartbeat, you know that”
“I know,” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She didn’t say anything else, she simply stared off into the distance. Finally she looked at you and you watched her smirk. “Kick ass in Auradon, alright?”
“That I will definitely do” You laughed easily. Harry waltzed over to your side and you recognized the look on his face immediately.
“Now,” He smirked as he dragged the tip of his hook down the side of your face gently and you couldn’t resist rolling your eyes at his actions. “Let’s give ya a proper send off, yeah?” He waited for you to agree and when you did he pulled you in the direction of the Lost Revenge, Uma and Gil both close behind.
There was no way in hell that you would be turning Fairy Godmother’s wand over to Maleficent, that was agreed on instantly. But still, it called out to Mal like a beacon.
“It’s not going to work,” You said in a sing song voice as you flipped through your book. It was filled with all sorts of voodoo magic, the same kind you had been forced to learn. Only on Auradon it actually worked and you hadn’t hesitated to begin teaching yourself everything. “It’s too easy, my darlings”
You had started using the pet name mockingly your first day in Auradon. But now just a couple days later you found yourself calling Jay, Evie, Carlos, and Mal that more and more often. It was endearing now and none of them would ever admit how much they loved the sound of it rolling off your tongue when you spoke to them.
“And why is that?” Mal wondered as she looked in your direction. The four of them were headed off to the museum to try to take the wand. You, however, were laying on Carlos’ bed with your pajamas on already.
“Because,” You looked up from the book and at them. “There’s bound to be some sort of protective spells or alarms around it. And we,” You motioned back and forth between yourself and Mal. “Aren’t skilled enough yet to disable all of those. Therefore it’ll be useless to try”
“Well,” Mal picked up her own spell book and threw on her jacket. “If I’m wrong then you get bragging rights” She said simply. Your laugh rang through the room like a bell. It was a sound that made everyone feel better. It was just the effect you had on them. You had always been there for each of them and you still were even now. No matter what you would never leave them, a point you made sure to prove every chance you got.
“I’ll hold you to that” You said, picking up your book once more.
“Oh we know you will” Evie smiled and you watched as the four of them left the room.
“I told you so” You said the next morning with ease. The four of them walked up to where you were sitting.
“You were right” Mal mumbled as she leaned on one arm before flipping through her spell book.
“What’s your plan?” Jay asked you with a sigh. You smiled before pulling out a stack of old tarot cards. You had been practicing with them since you were ten years old. On the Isle you had used them thinking that they’d give you some sense of hope. They never worked, the readings were always off. But the first time you read your own cards the night you arrived in Auradon there was a different feeling as the shadows on your wall shifted around you. The shadows morphed and bent around you, as if they were kneeling in your presence.
“We have to play their game,” You told them as you split the deck of cards in two. “Let them believe that we’ve changed. Make them think that we’re just like them” They listened to you while also watching you shuffle the smaller deck exactly eight times. “It’ll take suspicion off of us, making everything easier. We’ll act when they least expect it. It’ll take time, yes, but I promise it’ll be worth it” You spread the small deck out in front of you and a cool breeze surrounded your group. They watched with amazement as the shadows shifted around the table, almost like they were protecting you. “We cannot under any circumstances fail”
“You want us to play nice with these people?” Carlos asked, visibly bothered by the idea. It wasn’t your first choice either but it was the one that made the most sense. It was the one you’d have to go with if you wanted your plan to succeed.
“Yeah,” You nodded. “I know it’s not ideal but if we act too soon then they’ll send us back. For good this time” You motioned toward the row of cards as you looked at Carlos. “Pick one”
He looked skeptical but chose one anyway. You regrouped the stack, taking the chosen card and flipping it so they could see the picture. It was a woman with a lion beside her. “Strength. It represents not only strength itself but also determination and power. It means that we each have the ability to control ourselves, to see this through to the very end”
You handed Evie the larger stack and told her to shuffle it eight times and then split it in three. She flipped over the first card, Jay the second, and Mal the last one. “This one,” You pointed at the one Evie had flipped over. “Seven of swords, it represents what’s going on in the physical world. It represents stealth and deception and getting away with something. In our case this is a good thing. This one,” You pointed at the card Jay had flipped over. “Ten of cups, but it’s reversed. It basically represents what we’re all thinking. In this case it means that we aren’t really being true to ourselves. We have to act like all of them, it’ll be tough but this one,” You pointed at the last one that Mal had flipped over. “Tells us that it’s going to be worth it. The ten of wands, it’s what they,” You motioned to the space around all of you, where the shadows were watching. “Have predicted for us. We’ll succeed in all of this. It may take a while but we can do it”
The four of them stayed silent for a couple seconds. You felt a hand grip yours under the table and looked up to see a smirk on Jay’s face. “I guess it pays to have ‘friends on the other side’ doesn’t it?” You laughed lightly and nodded.
“We’re in this together,” Evie took your other hand from across the table, a smile on her face. “All the way”
“Please let me curse them,” Mal said through gritted teeth. The five of you were trying to escape everything that had happened during Family Day. They had started yelling and one thing led to another and suddenly Chad was unconscious on the floor.
“Let them try something else,” You were just as angry. You could hear the mutters coming from the table behind you where Audrey, Chad, and their followers were sitting. You had expected more from some of them like Lonnie and Doug. But you supposed they were all like Audrey deep down. “I dare them”
Jay’s grip on your hand tightened and in one swift movement he was holding you against him. You took in a deep breath and relaxed almost instantly in his arms. There was only a couple other people who had that effect on you but they weren’t there at the moment. He waited until he knew you were calm before letting you go.
Ben walked over to your table once he found you guys. “Don’t worry about it” He kept on repeating those words over and over. As if he was trying to convince even himself that it wasn’t actually your fault.
It had been Mal’s idea to put Ben under a love spell. It had been working pretty well so far until Audrey decided to get bitter. You could understand why she was like that though if you were honest. But still, it didn’t exactly make what she said right.
It also didn’t help that Chad’s words kept running through your head. They were raised by their parents. But no. The five of you were nothing like your parents. You weren’t your father and you refused to ever stoop down to his level. What you and your friends were doing was way different than what your parents had once done. You were doing all of this to finally escape them and no one could change that.
“Tomorrow after the coronation I promise everything will be okay” Ben told you all. “Like I said, don’t-”
“Darling,” You cut him off with a shake of your head. “Please excuse us if we don’t believe you” Your voice cracked at the end and you could see the way his face fell. He moved to stand in front of you and took one of your hands in his.
“It’s going to get better for all of you,” He said as he looked directly at you. “I promise” It took you a few seconds to respond. You have no idea. You forced a smile onto your face and he seemed to take it as a good sign because he walked away soon after.
You were sitting with Evie, Carlos, and Jay in your room while glaring at the little lizard in a box.
After Jane had broken the barrier Maleficent had escaped making all of you look bad. You had redeemed yourselves though. Mal’s magic combined with yours was enough to take the wand from her. Though when Fairy Godmother awoke from the spell she believed it was because of ‘inner goodness’. You let her believe that. The only downside was that you’d have to get the wand a different way now.
“We have a problem!” Mal shouted as she burst into the room. She slammed the door closed behind her and you all picked up on the annoyed look in her eyes. “Ben is in love with me”
“Isn’t he supposed to be?” Jay asked, clearly confused. The rest of you wore the same questioning look he did. Mal groaned in annoyance before moving the clear container to the corner of the room.
“Not for real!” She huffed as she threw herself down on the bed, half on top of you. “Apparently the Enchanted Lake washed away the spell and he’s been pretending ever since and now he’s in love with me for real”
“This could work,” Evie looked away from her next dress with a smirk on her face. “You could be our connection on the inside”
“Do I have to?” Mal groaned in protest. She hated the idea of having to be as close to a princess as she would ever get. She already hated it and she had only been doing it for two weeks.
“Yes” The four of you said in sync soliciting more arguing from Mal. Evie pulled Jay up from where he was sitting and handed him the clothes he was supposed to change into.
“Fine,” Mal reached for her spell book and began flipping through it. “These are definitely going to come in handy”
Evie walked over to the two of you and snatched both your spell books away, ignoring your protests. “Go get dressed,” She told the two of you. “We have a coronation party to get to”
“How much longer am I going to have to do this?” Mal huffed as she walked into Jay and Carlos’ room. “I’m getting tired of all these stupid appearances and modifying people’s memories”
“Not long,” You mumbled as you flipped through your book once more. The five of you had been in Auradon for months now. You hadn’t dared to make a move after the whole incident with Mal’s mother happened. Now you were just trying to figure out the best way to take the wand.
“You’ve been saying that for six months” Jay argued from where he was fighting people on the screen of the TV. “All we’ve done is play their little games. When are we making our move?”
You glared and slammed the book shut catching everyone’s attention. “Do you want this to work or do you want to end up back on the Isle for good this time?” Jay stayed silent, knowing you were right.
You untangled yourself from the mess of limbs you, Carlos, and Evie were in. You opened a different notebook and handed it to Carlos first. “You’ll be happy to know that I have a plan” You watched as his eyes scanned the pages of the notebook before handing it over to Mal. Once they had all seen it you spoke again. “The only thing is that for it to work we’ll have to go back. Just for a day or two though”
“What?” Carlos reacted first. “We left for a reason and you expect us to just go back?”
“Let me explain,” You took back your notebook and with a wave of your hand the words disappeared from the pages. “We can’t do this by ourselves. We’ll need help if we’re going to have any chance of succeeding”
“Who did you have in mind exactly?” Evie asked for everyone. You stayed silent and Mal was the first one to pick up on who it was you were talking about. She immediately shook her head.
“No! Absolutely not!” She shook her head. “There is no way I’m asking them for help!”
“I never said you had to,” You reasoned with her. “If you recall I had a certain connection to them” A smirk grew on your face as each of them rolled their eyes.
“Some connection,” Jay mumbled. “How exactly do you plan on getting there?”
A wicked smile appeared on your face and the shadows shifted around the room again. You had practically mastered controlling the shadows and it wasn’t uncommon to see them following you around. When the five of you were together they stood around you all, as if they were your personal guardians. It had become almost comforting.
“That, my darling,” You sent him a quick wink and you laughed when he rolled his eyes at you. “Is where things get interesting”
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So you have two boys that are in love with you? Doesn’t that cause strain/tension in their relationship with one another?
Yes, that’s exactly right. I have two different boys in my life, and they are both in love with me, and the feeling is mutual, because I’m also in love with the two of them right back. Not that I need to explain anything to you, but I can assure you that I am the top, most important person in each of their lives. Connor and Chase, both put me above everyone, even each other. I have never asked either one of them to do that, but they have done that all on their own. There is no one more important to either one of them, than me. I am their everything, just like all of the times where I’ve said that both of them are MY everything, well I’m THEIR everything. That is just a fact, ask anyone we know, and they will tell you the same thing. I am not just saying that to brag or to rub it in, I’m saying it because it’s a known fact, and each of them has made sure to have it be known to me and my stubborn head, many times until it was engraved in my own head. I am their girl, and they share me. I may only be engaged to Connor, but I have been romantically involved with Chase for over four years now, and he is also my boy, just like Connor is. I have claimed both of them, and the two of them will always be mine, as long as I’m still alive and breathing. And they have both claimed me, and I will always will be theirs. I will never have eyes for anyone, that isn’t those two boys. I can’t even begin to go over, how many girls have tried to take both of them away from me in the past in some way, but they are both so loyal to me, and they love me so much, that they will NEVER have eyes for anyone else that isn’t me. And those girls that have tried to do those things, learn that real quick. My boys, are both so loyal to me. And I am so lucky, and so blessed, to be able to say that. Not everyone that is in a relationship with someone, has that. Well, I’m lucky enough to have it, with two different boys. And I don’t take it for granted, ever. There’s been so many people that have come up to me to get advice on their own relationship, and they say something like ‘oh, you’ve trained them both so well, how did you do that?’ and honestly, I haven’t done much, it’s all them and goes to show, the love and dedication they both have for me. Both of the boys, if push came to shove, would die for me in a second, and they wouldn’t hesitate. I would do the same for both of them, and that’s how it always going to be. All three of us, have been through so much together. I have known these two boys, since we were all six years old. We literally grew up together, and we were inseparable, even as kids. The two of them, have always been by my side, even long before I got together with either one of them. They have gone through literally everything with me, no matter if it’s good, bad, ugly, they are both always there. They are always there to kick anyone’s ass for me that tries to mess with me in some way, they do not care who it is, friend/family member or whoever, they will take you out without even blinking. I’ve seen it happen so many times myself, that I’ve lost track. Especially after what I went through last year, the level of protection that they both have for me now, is at a whole different level. Their whole world stopped, for each of them when I was attacked and was in the hospital. That was the hardest thing, that either of them have ever been through, because of the fact that they were both so terrified that they were going to lose me. It was hell for them. And I have been through everything with them, for as long as I can remember. I am not kidding when I say this, but Connor and Chase both tell me all the time, that they wouldn’t be able to live without me. When either one of them are going through something, when they are upset and shut down, the only person that is capable of helping either one of them in a positive, effective way, is the other boy/me. No one else, has the power over each of them, like I do. It’s amazing and blows my mind to this day, to see that. And the same all applies for both of them, with me.
Since Chase became our third, nothing has changed as far as his relationship with Connor goes, and I can assure you of that. They are still best friends, and they always have been. The bond and closeness that they both have with each other today, is at a whole different level than it used to be, before our threesomes ever started. I’m not going to go over why that is, I don’t feel like I have too, but trust me when I say, that it has not made things weird between either one of them, that they share the same feelings for me. Connor and I, literally do everything with Chase. It is seriously so rare, to see the three of us apart. It gets to the point where let’s say I’m out and about and I meet a friend somewhere, if I don’t have the boys with me, they immediately get alarmed and ask me if they are okay. Because that is how rare, it really is, to see me without them. They do not compete over me, neither one of them gets mad/upset when they see me kiss the other boy, Chase does not get mad when I have sex with just Connor instead of having another threesome with him, nothing like that, ever happens. I give them each, equal love on a daily basis. They both know how I feel for each of them, I know how they feel for me, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters to us. We don’t need to explain ourselves to anyone, and what our dynamic is. What the three of us have, is really special and is hard to come by. It won’t work for everyone out there, and that’s okay. All that matters, is that it works perfectly for us. I know, I’m always going to be taken care of with anything that life throws my way, with the two of them around. I live, to take care of my boys. It’s when I thrive and am at my best, and it all comes naturally, because of how strong I love them. No one else on the planet, could ever compare or come close, to my love that I have for each of those boys. I would be NOTHING, without either one of them. They are both, honestly my reason that I get out of bed every day. I could not live, if anything happened to either one of them.
So to recap: no, there is, and never has been, any friction/strain in Connor’s and Chase’s relationship with one another, that involves me in any way. The two of them, really leaned on each other when I was attacked last year to get each other through that time. And I am so glad that they had each other. Connor and I, both thank God for Chase every day. I can’t even begin to go over, what he means to the both of us. Like I have said many times, he is the only person in the world, that Connor and I would EVER be willing to have a threesome with. We have been having them for so long at this point, and the most important thing is that I always make sure that both of them, have an equal amount of time, to do whatever they want with me. They take turns, and they don’t try to get greedy, and that’s because they know and understand, the shared love they both have for me, and sex is something, they both take so seriously. They both are so good, at anything sex related. I can’t even go over, how good the sex really is, with either one of them. It took us a long time to find our perfect dynamic, but we have it now. The hardest thing for us to get down in sex, was whenever we tried doing DP. We had a hard time getting in sync at first perfectly, but we have that now. The boys, are both seriously my drug of choice. I am addicted, to each of them. They always say the same to me, and I can’t possibly be able to express how happy it makes me every time, when they say it. They are two completely different boys, that like different things in sex, in life, in everything. There is no one that knows them like I do, and that is the truth. You will just have to trust me, when I say all of these things. So again: yes, the boys are both in love with me, and I am in love with them. And there is absolutely, nothing wrong with that. I’m done, this is more than enough to go over everything.
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wildflowerhowell · 7 years ago
Text
I Found, chapter 7
Dan Howell and Phil Lester hate each other, and everyone at the Ida Gatley school of dance knows it. So what happens when the two are paired together to choreograph and perform a duet at England’s most renowned contemporary dance competition?
word count (in total): 22,139
chapters: 12
genre: fluff and angst
tw: none
read on ao3
all chapters
Phil pushed open the door to their hotel room, revealing a bathroom to their right, a closet to their left, two queen beds, a dresser, and a TV. It was an average hotel room, but the two boys rarely stayed in hotels and were pretty excited. They each chose a bed to drop their bags on (Dan chose the one closest to the window, Phil chose the one closest to the door) and started exploring their home for the next two days. They marveled at the plushness of the pillows and the fact that you could just make a quick call and have food delivered to your room.
Dan walked over to the far side of the bedroom, looking out the window at the beach, a sight he rarely got to see. His family barely ever travelled. He replayed the train ride from London over in his head, amazed at how far his friendship with Phil had come in the past month. They’d sat facing each other, trying to play Cards Against Humanity (but failing because it’s not the easiest game to play with only two people.) They’d laughed over funny Vines, just as Dan and Liam had done a while ago. They shared a bag of cheddar popcorn, even though Phil said he was lactose intolerant. The other passengers glared at them when they burst into fits of laughter when they pulled out Cards Against Humanity again to play charades using the white cards.
“This is pretty damn nice, I'm not sure I'm gonna want to leave on Sunday,” said Phil, opening the drawer of the bedside table in between their two beds. “Wanna look through the Instagram accounts of the other competitors?”
“Duh. Maybe they're all gruesomely ugly and it'll make me less nervous about tomorrow.”
“So you're finally nervous, I see. Anyways, they're dancers, Dan. They're all gonna be fit.”
“Shit, you're right. Worth a shot. Let's still look through their accounts though.”
Phil sat down on his bed and leaned against the pillows, Dan flopped down right beside him. They looked through about ten accounts before Dan got bored, saying they all looked like gods and goddesses and had all won tons of awards which they bragged about in their bios, and looking through any more was pointless. Phil agreed.
“How do you think we'll do tomorrow?” Phil looked to his right over at Dan.
“I'm usually really confident whenever I go to a competition, but right now, I'm not so sure. These dancers look really good, Phil. What if we don't even place?”
“Oh come on, our dance is so fucking good. We're definitely going to place. These other people might have great technique, but I doubt any of the duos have the sort of stage presence and chemistry we have. We make a really good team, Dan. Like, scary good.”
“Kinda sucks we didn't figure that out earlier.”
Phil laughed softly. “No shit, Sherlock. Oh, I've been meaning to tell you. In our dance, there's this one part you're doing weirdly. Your arm placement is kinda distracting from what I'm doing. It's the part right after the fouette turns, I think.”
Dan sat up so that he could face Phil with his whole torso. “Wait, you think that there are points in this dance where one of us is more important to the dance than the other?”
“Well in this particular part, I think I'm more…in focus, I guess you could say.”
“Hold on, this dance is a duet. Every part needs both of us for it to look complete. That's kinda the point.” Dan couldn't believe Phil was actually saying this.
“I'm fully aware of the point of a duet, thank you very much.” Phil was sitting up now. “But in this part-”
“Can you let go of ‘this part’ for just one goddamn second? This isn't about that. You’re the one who preached about us being equal, Phil. Not me.”
“And I understand that, but when I said that I was talking about us being petty all the time, y’know?. How about we just go over that part and see what we can do.”
“No.” Dan sighed, standing up now. “I'm going into town, I need some time to think. I'll be back later.” He reached over to his bed and grabbed his lavender bomber jacket.
“Dan wait, can we talk about-”
“See you later Phil.” Dan accidentally slammed the door while on his way out, he cursed under his breath. All he wanted to do was get away from Phil. Preferably for as long as possible. For most people, a small argument like this wouldn't end with someone leaving. But he and Phil had been through such a big change over the past month. He was just starting to trust Phil, to think he was someone different than the person Dan had assumed he was.
Dan found himself in a small coffee shop with walls covered in art from various local artists and plants in every place that one could fit. He sat down at an open table after grabbing the chai latte he ordered from the bar and let his thoughts wash over him, emotions pooling up inside his brain. He was angry. And confused. And hurt. He didn't know what to do. He knew he should probably talk to Phil about how he was feeling, but he didn't wanna do that until a lot later. He could just walk around and shop, distract himself from the situation.
“Sorry to bother you, young man, but you look like you have worries on your mind.”
Dan glanced up to see a woman, probably in her mid 60’s, looking down at him. He laughed. “How can you tell?”
“I have kids. And my kids have kids. I've seen a lot of worried faces in my lifetime. Do you mind sharing your thoughts?”
What the hell, it's not like this is my deepest, darkest secret. “Yeah sure. Please, sit down. I'm Dan by the way.”
“Meredith. So what’s on your mind?”
“Well, there’s this one guy I’m here for a dance competition with. His name’s Phil. He and I used to hate each other. We were always trying to be better than the other, kiss up to our dance instructors more than the other, stuff like that. But when we were both chosen for this competition, we actually started getting along; you could pretty much say we’re friends now. But today he said something that makes me think he still hasn’t let go of that feud. I wanted so badly for us to be friends because he’s such a fun guy and I love spending time with him, but I’m just worried he’s not who I’ve been hoping he is.” Dan felt good for telling someone all that. He let out a sigh of relief.
Meredith took a sip of her coffee, thinking. “It sounds like this new friendship is mutual, yes?” When Dan nodded, she continued. “Just have a talk with him. Maybe you interpreted him wrongly, or he said something he didn’t mean to say. Communication is always key in every kind of relationship. Tell him how you felt when he said what he said, but try to understand his point of view.”
Dan considered this for a second. “You’re right. As I was leaving our hotel room , he said he wanted to talk about it. I should probably go back and figure this out. Thank you so much for talking to me about this.”
Meredith beamed at Dan. “It was my pleasure.”
“Hey, that competition is tomorrow, would you like to come?”
“Oh absolutely!” Meredith handed Dan a scrap piece of paper from her purse for him to write all of the details on. When he was done, she tucked the paper away. “I wish you the best of luck.”
~
Dan threw his now-empty cup in a bin outside his hotel and headed inside, hurrying to get back to the room. The 30 second elevator ride was agonizing, all he wanted to do was get things sorted out with Phil. He rushed out of the elevator, almost running into a small child. He didn’t pause while saying his apologies to the kid’s mother, which may have not been the best idea, but in that moment, it was the least of his worries. Dan fumbled through his wallet, where he was storing his room key, and swiped it through the lock on the door. When the door unlocked, he practically burst through.
Dan entered the room to find Phil laying in bed, watching Harry Potter on the TV. He jumped a bit, caught off guard by Dan’s sudden entrance. “You’re back,” he said cautiously, clearly not wanting to fight anymore.
“Can we talk?” Dan sat down on the edge of Phil’s bed while Phil paused the movie. “I kind of had a conversation with a grandma who told me I should have a talk with you about this.”
“You talked to a grandma? Where?’”
“Coffee shop. So, can we talk?”
“Oh, yeah, of course,” Phil affirmed, scooting to the left so Dan could sit by him, “What’s up?”
“Okay,” Dan moved over next to Phil, “I’ve realized a few things during this past month. First of all, I was a fucking idiot for starting this whole feud with you. I never even gave myself the chance to see what you were like before deciding that I hated you, and I’m so sorry for that.”
Dan looked over at the older dancer for a second. Phil smiled.
“Secondly,” Dan began talking again, “I know we’ve only been friends for about a month now, but I already really value our friendship.”
Phil’s eyes lit up. “I do too!”
Dan beamed. “I’m so glad.” He paused, and his smile faltered. “But let’s be honest, this friendship is clearly fragile. If I’m being honest, we hated each other for a pretty damn long time. I think it could be really easy for us to go back to how we used to be after just one fight or disagreement.”
The older boy looked down at his hands. He nodded.
“What I’m saying is, I care about you. I don’t want for us to go back to hating each other after an argument because we couldn’t talk it out.”
Phil looked up. “Let’s talk this out then.”
Dan gave Phil a grateful smile. “Okay,” He nodded, “I guess I’ve never really thought of this dance as a duet.”
Phil gave the brown-haired dancer a quizzical look.
“What I mean is, when we dance together, it’s not like we’re two different people. It’s almost like we’re one person split in two. It’s almost scary how well we dance together. You’ve looked in the mirrors, you’ve seen videos of our dances together. You know what I’m talking about.”
Phil chuckled in agreement. “Yeah, I do.”
“So I guess when you said that there was a part in the dance where I was distracting from what you were doing, it kind of shocked me a bit. I thought we were on the same page, y’know?”
“Yeah,” Phil sighed, “I thought about what you said while you were gone. I think I’ve been so used to trying to one-up you that even now those old habits still haven’t completely gone away. I obviously don’t want to have this rivalry anymore, but I’d gotten so accustomed to it that it almost became second nature to me. I hadn’t even thought of our dance that way until you mentioned it. But I’m glad you said something, because I never would have realized I was thinking about it the wrong way.”
“So we’re good?”
“We’re good.”
“Fuck,”Dan exhaled, his shoulders dropping. “I’m so glad we cleared that up. Can we agree to always be completely honest with each other?”
“Obviously.” Phil hesitated a bit before giving his answer, but Dan didn’t notice. “Well, now that we’re being all honest and shit, wanna tell me any secrets?”
“Yeah, I stole your credit card before I left and bought 50 pairs of designer shoes for myself. You’ll be in debt for years.”
“Wonderful,” Phil grinned, “Wanna watch Harry Potter with me?”
“Yeah, which one?”
“Order of the Phoenix.”
“Oh God, the book is so much better.” Dan rolled his eyes.
“Hmm. I honestly prefer all of the movies to the books.”
Dan looked over at the older boy in disbelief. “Phil.”
“I’m joking!” Phil giggled, biting his tongue.
“Phil, that’s not funny!” Dan playfully slapped Phil’s right arm.
“You’re such a nerd.”
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this--love-is-treacherous · 7 years ago
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okay i know no one is going to read this, but i just want to put it out there and i don’t know maybe someone actually will take the time to read this and i don’t know maybe help me??? or understand me??? idk, but here it goes lately i’ve been feeling all kinds of emotions and being extra sentimental and, honestly, feeling like shit. And here goes why : a boy. WHAT A CLICHE AND TEENAGER THING TO DO, i know and trust me my head is just like “stop this” but… i can’t. So my story with this guy begins over a year ago, april (i think???) of 2016, i went to a friend’s surprise birthday party and he was going to be there, at that time i don’t even know who he was like i have only heard his name once and because one of my friends (kinda) made out with him. The thing is before meeting him (or any of the other guests) i hung out with a friend to buy a present and go together where the party was, so, anyway, my friend told me that she wanted something with him because they have been texting for like two days?? maybe?? and he seemed really nice and he was handsome and he seemed interested in her and she wanted some action lmao so, i asked her if she had asked Lucie (i’m gonna use names bc it’s gonna get really confusing. Rachel is the one who wanted to make a move on him and Lucie is the one who has already made out with him okay leT’S CONTINUE) if she was okay with that bc you know, obvious reasons, Rachel told me that they have an agreement and i was "okay which is??" she told me that none of them wanted something serious so the one he payed more attention or you know, were more flirty with, will me the one “allowed” to make a move on him. NOW flash forward to the birthday party, when i first met him he was sO NICE and i felt so comfortable??? which happens never with strangers??? i was shook. Anyway, so he starts being flirty with me, paying attention to me, and talking to me, laughing with me,… and little to nothing with the others , i flirted back but because i was comfortable and you know, flirting is kinda funny and you know at the time i saw it like innocent flirtation??? after we left all my friends started like ohmygod you two should make out, you were so cute, he definitely wants something with you….. like that and i was like no????? i’m not gonna see him, like, ever again????? and at the time it was true (little did i know) , i didn’t even had his phone so there wasn’t much that i could do so i just kinda forgot about him, he was just the guy i flirted with and that made me feel “"special”“ somehow bc he payed attention to me and not my hot friends so it was nice. One month later we happen to be in the same birthday party of anOTHER friend lol and as the time before we flirt and we laugh and he still pays attention to me so by this time i start to wonder "what if???” and after this birthday he follows me in instagram and somehow he got my snapchat as well, neither of us talk to each other but he is in the back of my mind and i start to think of him as my crush (i mostly blame my friends for this bc they were so like “you two are so cute!!!1!!”) and one day, out of the blue, he sends me a snapchat and i was like boy??????? anD here comes the ????? part : it was a photo of him about to go in the shower (NO NUDES DONT WORRY lmao) so i was like wtf and i “texted” him back with “cool background, your shower, nice place to take photos lmao” and he answers me “ well it’s obvious you’re new to my snapchat, i do this all the time” and i go to his snapchat story and the same photo was there so i was like okay he just sent me this by mistake cool no problem excEPT the next day he does exactly the same thing, not with a shower photo but you know a mirror photo, idk, unimportant really, he sent me the photo but the photo was also in his story so i start doing the same thing. We go on for like three days, doing that, not talking, not answering the snaps, just sending photos that everyone is seeing lmao, anyways, so by the third day we get the streak and i think we both panicked (at least i know i did, lol it was getting real??? i don’t know if that makes sense, but) and we stopped sending anything like, at all (btw i never EVER told my friends about this because a) they were gonna make this a big deal when i knew it wasn’t and b) i somehow wanted to keep this between us??? idk ) . Anyway, near a year goes by, and during all this time i do not see him or talk to him or anything of the sort but he somehow still is in my head??????? i don’t know why and i know it’s stupid but no matter what i do (or who i do….) i can’t get him out of my head, just with the hope that i would see him again and finally ALMOST A YEAR LATER i do. It was honestly so unexpected, i was at a local festivity called San Isidro in Madrid (which is where i live btw) and we just bumped into each other (not literally but i was not there to see him, i just went so say hi to a friend and there he was!!) so i’m like “hey!!??” , he says hi as well and we talk, small talk, for about 20 minutes and he actually remembers me!! (again, unexpected) and he says “long time no see, i missed you” (okay, let me just say that this guy is VERY FLIRTY with everyone like you could say he is a fuckboy and he just has one of those personalities, in Spain we say ‘tirafichas’ lol) and i was like dying on the inside!! but in the outside sonehow i managed to stay cool and be flirty like ohmygod really? and what did you missed most about me? and he just says “you make me laugh” and yes, you guessed it, i almost died like imagine your crush!!amazing!! so, after this we get separated, he goes home and i don’t see him again that night. THE NEXT NIGHT i see him again and this night we talk more and he spent together more time, with other people most of the time, but sometimes only the two of us in the conversation and he asks me what do i want to study i ask him how his grades are doing, things like that, nothing to serious and we still are flirty with each other and, at one point of the night, one of my friends who was drunk af see us talking and asks us “are you two dating???” AND I WAS SO MORTIFIED LIKE I WANTED THE EARTH TO JUST SWALLOW ME , FOR REAL!! the funny thing is that this friend, Gabby, she haven’t met him and i haven’t told her about him, ever!! So after that i think we were moth so “embarrassed” that we go in separate ways until a few hours later when i was talking to one of the friends we got in common and he joined us and he starts talking about the last girl she had made out with and how he “"kept”“ a list of all the girls he had made out with and i was so??? disgusted??? but not only for the fact that he was my crush cause, after all, i didn’t had a reason to be mad at him just because i had a crush on him didn’t mean that he couldn’t live his life, it was for the fact that he kept a list??? like women were trophies??? so i tell him like "ohmygod that is so lame and honestly so??? wrong???” and he just looks embarrassed and says “well it’s not like i write them down is just, i like to keep count, not for anything in particular, not to brag or anything, i never told the number of girls i made out with to anyone, i’m so sorry if it looked sexist to you it’s just a thing i do” so kinda calm down after this cause he sounded so sincere??? and for what i have talked to him he seemed not that kind of guy??? like, yes, he was a fuckboy but not in a bad way?? idk if that makes sense… so, one thing led to another and we end up talking about virginity lmao (we were more than the two of us in that conversation just so you know) and as the virgin ass bitch i am i just shut up and i hear the others talk about their first time and my crush (which i think you deserve to know his name if you made it this far lmao) whose name is Charles (IT SOUNDS MUCH NICER IN SPANISH : CARLOS , everybody calls him by his last name anyway which is Rayo , translated to english it means lightning lol) ANYWAY he says “i only fucked once and it was because i liked this girl and i was comfortable with her, i don’t just fuck with anyone just so you guys know” and….. my heart eyes came back with those words and beSIDES he was looking at me most of the time he was saying that!! like!! what are you trying to do!! Anyway, the night ends, nothing happens, of course and we don’t see each other for 10 days i think????? ACTUALLY something really funny and strange happened in these 10 days, i left a comment in a friend’s photo on instagram and two hours later i see he has left a comment in the same photo!! and i was so shocked cause this friend is from a totally different circle than all my other friends, she is a year older and i only know her because she is in my volleyball team so for me there was no way these two knew each other so i texted her asking why the hell did she knew him and she tells me a) their parents know each other so they’re like cousins and b) he has asked the exact same question. You must know that by this time my crush was increasing and increasing and increasing…….so, back to the story, we run into each other again at a mutual friend’s bday (ACTUALLY the same friend bday party we first met) and again, we talk we laugh we flirt… but he also flirts with other guest who he has made out with before, i knew her she was at my school but you know we weren’t friends of anything and i don’t take this personally cause as i said before he was my anything and he obviously could do his life and honestly it hurt but like not really??? i think because i basically assumed that nothing was gonna happen that he was flirting with me and i’ll take that because i liked the feeling but i was okay with nothing happening i assumed that this feeling, whatever it was, it’ll go away, eventually. So that night we were at my friend’s house and some of us (including him and me) went to buy some alcohol (it was pretty late by then, like midnight probably???) so in this ….walk??? we ended up alone (like not alone ALONE, but like with some distance between us and the others) and he asked me about my love-life and i said like well i have a plan A but idk i don’t think it’s gonna work out (i was referring to him, of course) and he said “well, do you like this guy?? or this girl cause you know i don’t want to assume things” (I ALMOST DIED RIGHT THERE CAUSE I NEVER EVER EVER HAD KNOWN ANYONE OUTSIDE THE COMUNITY WHO HAS SAID THIS WITHOUT KNOWING MY SEXUALITY) so i answered “well i’m bisexual, but this one is a guy and no i don’t really like him it’s just ugh idk” by that time i wouldn’t admit that i liked him so i didn’t say lmao to what he said “nice, on the bisexuality thing. And you know if you don’t really like this guy then search for a plan B?” and i replied “Well, if I just could, but idk it’s just weird. But enough about me, what about you, how many plans do you have?” and he said with so!!much!!honesty!! (at least it seemed) “well i’ve been lying to you if i said i don’t have a few plans here and there but like lately everytime i make out with someone it’s just so ?? idk void?? and i’m not saying i want a girlfriend because let’s be honest i am not the relationship type but idk lately i’ve been in a down mood in my love life” so i told him i understood him completely and he was about to say something when the bday girl interrupted us (I LOVE HER BUT!!!! girl!!!! although in her defense she didn’t know that he was my crush if that i had weird feelings towards him so..) and said to him that she noticed him kinda sad and that he had to cheer up (i didn’t know him that well to know if he was sad but he has always been a cheerful guy around me that this broke my heart a little) and then she said like “don’t worry soon we’ll get you some girl so you can cheer up” (as i said he is quite a fuckboy and he has that game iand all his friends kind mess around with him because of it) but this time he said “okay you can quit with that already” and even his/my friend was a little shook tbh and from that conversation and forward he wouldn’t even talk to me like yeah if we were in the same group talking we would like say something to me but never too much, he totally changed how he behaved around me, he would talk and laugh and flirt with the others and when he maybe before looked for me he literally just moved if i came near him , idk it was weird. The night finally ended and despite the fact that i never said anything to my friends about how i felt for them rayo was just like “if it happens, it happens, but i’m not going to force it” when it really was “please please please let this happen i want it really bad” one of my friends that night kept insisting me that i made a move on him (which i didn’t obviously). After that night i was sure this was over, the flirtation the hopes, everything, over and i was ready to assume that and besides my most important exams where about to begins so i spent less time thinking about him, only when i listened to certain songs or when i saw his photo on instagram but i never let myself think about him too much on those days and honestly i was thankful for the distraction. Unfortunately, the distraction came to an end and my exams finished so everyone went out to party and GUESS WHO I FOUND (again, it was kinda of a festivity that we do when everyone finished these specific exams and we do it in the most known madrid university campus and we just drink, basically. It’s a little weird when i describe it but it’s typical spanish lmao) so i saw him and i was a little drunk, he was too, and he said hi and he acted normal again with me and again he flirted and he messed with me, and i did with him and we were back at it and i was so drunk that i didn’t even had time to think what this was going to do with my brain. And it was like the other times except this time he was being much more physical like other times maybe he grabbed my hand or “punched” me but it was platonic, but this time he hugged me and grabbed my hand x1000 times than usual and rest his head on my shoulder when we were sitting…. things like that and even one time he put his arm around me and our faces were INCHES away and he said “we’re quite a pair” (he didn’t literally said that but there’s not literal translation for what he said to me, this is the most alike i think) and since i was really drunk and he was too i was going to make a move and you know, blame it on the alcohol if it didn’t work but esforcé i could do anything he STEPPED AWAY. We continued talking, he took my alcohol away (by one my friend’s order lmao) and before i realised he was gone like, gone gone. Yes, he said goodbye, but you know my goal that night was to make a move on him and i couldn’t and when he left the alcohol hit me like a bitch and i was really sad (not only bc of him but other stuff too) so after crying for like 30 minutes??? i went home and in the way back my drunk ass texted him “heyyy! you kept my alcohol. not cool.” and after i sent it i showed to one of my friends like what the hell did i just do (AGAIN i must remind you my friends were clueless about my feelings for all they knew that night was just another opportunity for me to make out with him, and they totally thought i was crying about something else cause not once no matter how drunk i was i told them i was bothered for what had happened that night and they even didn’t know what happened after the next day when i told them) anYWAY back to the text, after sending that and not having an answer for like 15 minutes??? he texted me back saying “right, sorry ❤️” and i just replied with a “hahaha” (SMOOTH, RACHEL lol) sO THE NEXT DAY i pretended like i didn’t remember the conversation and said “lol i don’t remember texting you i guess i was really drunk yesterday. Tbh i’m kinda glad you took my alcohol, god knows where i had ended, well, at least i do know that i didn’t do anything i could have regretted today” (the last one was like a indirect??? don’t know if he got it) anyway he texted back and we kept talking for the rest of the day and he seemed interested in keeping the conversation so i was happy until the end of the day when he just let it die, like literally, it was SO EASY to continue the conversation cause i just had asked a question so after his reply it was enough for him to say “what about you?” but hE DID NOT so after that day (this was june already) we don’t talk again cause you know he let it die so i’m not gonna crawl back i’m sorry i still have my pride and after a few days i find out that he has been talking to this girl which was also at my school and being so obvious at her and just telling her that they should meet and that she was really pretty and you know just throwing himself at her, again i wasn’t jealous but this time it was really clear that he did not want anything with me cause if he did then he would’ve been as obvious with me as he was being with this girl so I FINALLY FINALLY accepted it, it hurt and it wasn’t easy i still had these feelings which were just getting stronger everytime i saw him and talked to him but i thought i have learnt my lesson. Then a week ago i saw him again and THE MOST CONFUSING THING happened, i run into him with some friends who he already knew and so he said hi and greeted (that exists????) with two kisses in the cheek (again, typical spanish) then he comes to me and instead giving me two kisses as he had done with everyone else and this includes two of his best friends he hUGS ME like literally put his arms around me!! and i’m like wtf!! so i put my arms around him too you know to, be nice?? and after 3 seconds?? i remove them cause i don’t want it to be awkward bUT he does not remove it and he says “come on, it’s you and me we deserve a hug” AND AGAIN I WAS SHOOK AF !! so after 20 seconds, easily???? he pulls back and goes to say hi to the rest of the people (again with the normal greeting of two kisses on the cheeks) and i am left standing there shook and my friend tells me “what the hell was that” and i’m like “no idea ” . So during the whole time he was there h e is AGAIN FLIRTING WITH ME AND BEING SUPER PHYSICAL and yes i relapsed because he is so cute!! and i am so comfortable around him!! and then he leaves and says “well, see you around” AND THAT’S IT BUT IM HONESTLY SO CONFUSED BY THIS GUY AND MY FRIENDS BASED ON THE THINGS THEY KNOW TELL ME THAT HE LIKES ME AND I DON’T WANT TO HAVE HIGH HOPES BUT I’D BE LYING IF I TOLD YOU THAT ONE SMALL PART OF ME DOESN’T THINK SO AS WELL BUT ITHER PART TELLS ME THAT HE DOESN’T WANT ANYTHING AND MAYBE HE IS MOCKING ME BECAUSE HE THINKS I LIKE HIM IR MAYBE HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS OR??????? idk this is really stressful so if anyone made it this far, probably no lmao, a) any advice????? b) im sorry for my grammar or typos it’s really late and i’m just pouring my thoughts so i’m not really thinking straight and c) thank you??? i guess??? for listening???
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onalooooonghiatus · 8 years ago
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Ahhh! Has the time finally come?!? Am I finally allowed to brag about my amazing mutuals?!? (Also yes I know I’m crap at making banners-technology isn’t my forte)
Before I start bragging though-just know that I can’t believe I’m at 100 followers and that I honestly love each and every one of you. Anytime someone sends me an ask or tags me in something it makes me super happy. I seriously consider all of you my friends! I haven’t been active on tumblr very long but honestly this site makes me so happy and I love you all so much!
And blacklist: mooniva’s first follow forever if you don’t want this on your dash!
So if you know anything about me besides that I fangirl hard, you probably know that I’m super socially awkward. This means that I have a ton of mutuals that I’ve never reached out to…. Please don’t be offended-it just means I’m really scared to talk to you (probably because I think you’re super cool). However! Some mutuals have either messaged me first or I somehow got the courage to talk to them so I want to highlight my closest friends on this crazy site! (I’m also honoring all the mutuals I’m too scared to talk to at the bottom!)
Special shout out to everyone in the Nekoma/Fukurodani group chats! I love fangirling with all of you about the best anime ever!!! <3
@alianovnaplisetsky I have no words… You are literally the best person on here. You’re my best friend and my first mutual. I can share anything with you without being judged. It’s like we’re sisters ;) <3 I honestly love you so so so much!!! My life wouldn’t be the same without you!
@supermassiveironthrone Ah where do I begin?!? I’m so glad you reached out to me first because you are such an amazing person. I love ranting about SNK and other animes with you! And I’m honestly not sorry I dragged you into BTS hell with me (especially since you send me Jungkook gifs that kill the both of us). Thank you for being such an amazing person to fangirl with!!! Ily!
@cuddlesphan Ashley… I honestly don’t know why you put up with me… You’re one of my absolutely coolest mutuals and I’m so glad I reached out to you. I love that you tag me in a lot of fun stuff and I really enjoy our conversations! I’m so excited to beta for you and I can’t wait to read some of your stuff/share some of mine!! Ily!
@riplizz Ahhh Liz! I love talking to you in the Haikyuu group chats! I love that we both obsess over the most perfect character ever *cough* Suga *cough* and your new icons never fail to make me laugh! You’ve also been there when I’ve been going through stuff and I really really really appreciate it! Ily!
@golddustphan Charlie I will literally never ever forget how when I was having a really awful day you spammed me with the most wonderful gifs on the planet. You listened to me rant and you were so kind. If everyone in the world had 10% of your kindness it would be a much better place. And hopefully one day I can be there for you! Ily!
@philester Anushka you are one of the sweetest people on this site! You are such an insanely cool mutual and I don’t honestly know why you put up with me haha. I know we haven’t talked in a little while, but you are such an amazing person and friend! Ily!
@lowerc4se Millie! I love talking to you about writing and practicing spanish with you! I know it’s been a little while but I hope everything’s going well with you!! Ily!
@anastasiapill I know we haven’t known each other very long haha but you’re super sweet and I’m really enjoying talking with you! Hopefully we become even better friends soon! Ily!
And then for all the amazing mutuals that are too cool for me and I’m thus scared of you! For the record these are ordered by when we became mutuals :) <3
@anime-geek02​ @otakugreta13 @legit-trash-bro @snugglylin @self-diagnosed-hypochondriac @halcyonhowelll @theylikeboys @nishinoya-trash @forestboyhowell @sly-kuroo @thephantastickat @waterlilied @suspicioushowell @euphoricphill @devilester @haniltin @motivationaltoast @rebranddaniel @nonbinary-lester @flosculushowell @phillester @pokedans @tokinya @hqdorks @a-sad-and-lonely-traveler @eros-howell @princephil @sleeplessphilip @imdjainsworth @philseyelashes @iuminouslester @lazycupcake @ellalovesyoutube @danisfamily
You seriously are all such amazing people and I genuinely love each and every one of you. And if I don’t follow you you should still feel loved!!! Thank you for putting up with me! And it goes without saying but if you don't already follow all of these amazing people then what are you doing with your life?!? Love you all!!! 
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fleursforalgernon · 6 years ago
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The Bell Jar
“The silence depressed me. It wasn’t the silence of silence, It was my own silence.”
“Doesn’t your work interest you, Esther?”
“Oh, it does,” I said. “It interests me very much.” I felt like yelling the words, as if that might make them more convincing, but I controlled myself.
All my life I’d told myself studying and reading and writing and working like mad was what I wanted to do, and it actually seemed to be true, I did everything well enough and got all A’s, and by the time I made it to college nobody could stop me. 
I had imagined Buddy would fall in love with me that weekend and that I wouldn’t have to worry about what I was doing on any more Saturday nights the rest of the year. Just as we approached the house where I was staying Buddy said, “Let’s go up to the chemistry lab.”
I was aghast. “The chemistry lab?”
“Yes.” Buddy reached for my hand. “There’s a beautiful view up there behind the chemistry lab.” 
And sure enough, there was a sort of a hilly place behind the chemistry lab from which you could see the lights of a couple of the houses in New Haven. 
I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. 
From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constatin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out.
I was myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.
“Well, you were right. I am neurotic. I could never settle down in either the country or the city.” ....
“If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I’m neurotic as hell. I’ll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.”
Buddy put his hand on mine. 
“Let me fly with you.”
I thought the most beautiful thing in the world must be shadow, the million moving shapes and cul-de-sacs of shadow. There was shadow in bureau drawers and closets and suitcases, and shadow under houses and trees and stones, and shadow at the back of people’s eyes and smiles and shadow, miles and miles of it, on the night side of the earth. 
“I was perfectly free.”
“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am I am I am.”
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