#and he’s getting all emo and wallowing in self pity

[saetoru]

my dad is so sad ab replacing his car 😭😭😭 he literally got a better one today but he’s just attached to the old one sobs

[verysium]

PLEASE DO BLUE LOCK ICKS IM BEGGING🙏😭🌹

😏 coming right up anon. gonna channel my inner critic and not hold back on any of these.

RIN

brother complex. not much else to say except that he needs to get a life. not everything is about metaphorically crushing your older brother's dreams and brooding in the dark hate of retribution.

competitive but only because he is a desperate whore for external validation. ignores everyone but craves the attention of a sole person named sae itoshi. was defeated by isagi once and has never let go of it since. has a one-track mind that is impossible to derail. stubborn when he wants to be.

probably a virgin and will continue to be one until his late 30s.

has not known a single day of peace ever since sae ditched him for the popular girlies. as a result, he has developed a very concerning case of social awkwardness. his idea of a conversation involves a brick wall and thirty minutes of you staring at his resting bitch face. constantly looks like that one grumpy cat meme. judges you for your poor decisions but then gets aggressively defensive when you point out his own mistakes.

reeks of so much teen angst that even metallica can't save him. the problem is that he has nothing to back up his emo persona. his insults lack creativity and, unfortunately for him, phrases like "lukewarm" and "half-baked" and "hell" do not make his words carry more weight. uses the f-word but in the most embarrassing context that it makes you facepalm and internally cringe.

SAE

zero social awareness. this boy's head is empty. the lights are not on up there. there are no picture frames or furniture. the curtains are drawn, and there is not a sliver of clouds or sunshine. cannot read body language and does not know what a filter is.

the source of all of rin's stress. he is the original trauma projector, creator of generational cycles. not even subtle about it. "turns out i was wrong. i thought japan was incapable of ever giving birth to decent forwards." sir....with the way you worded that, you knew exactly what you were doing when you gave rin false hope.

swears but it's even worse than his brother. literally called his elders a "fatso and bob cut duo" and "insect turd." i mean....there is a line between what is considered a legitimate burn and what is a first grader making up insults in his coloring book.

has a horrible haircut and no fashion taste. i already talked about this previously, but it was so bad it deserved a second mention.

a freak but tries to justify it rationally. like what do you mean you can tell a person's athletic ability from their buttock size? just admit you have a kinky fetish already.

somewhat of a coward but i'm gonna give him some leniency due to his tragic child genius backstory. tbh he's just an eighteen-year-old boy who needs a goddamn break.

KAISER

alexa please play clown music. this man sets himself for failure and then wallows in self-pity when he actually fails. like what did you expect? you knew what was going to happen the moment you challenged isagi like that. it was most definitely your fault you got violently humbled.

has a borderline god complex (currently calls himself an emperor but has not evolved into a deity yet.) unfortunately, he does not stand on business. cue the dramatic meltdowns when he realizes there is an actual gap between his ability and his reputation. if you're going to lie, at least make it believable.

insecure and mentally unstable. he probably cuts and re-dyes his hair every single time shit happens. no wonder his locks get shorter every time.

lazy when it comes to anything that is not football and expects others to do it for him. demands princess treatment wherever he goes. unfortunately, not all of us have servants with no self-respect like ness.

"it is not enough that i should succeed, others should fail" type of person.

does not wear shoes and even if he does, it's sandals. put them grippers away.

NAGI

a literal sloth who has so much potential but uses none of it. has no intrinsic motivation of his own, so if he's going to do anything, it has to be you behind the wheel, making sure he gets put to work.

does not have a close relationship with his parents, and so he has no sense of community, holidays, or traditions. no fun at all if you want him to do things like christmas shopping or birthday celebrations.

rots in bed all day and then has to nerve to ask you to carry him around. your back better be strong because his 190 cm body is not going to be light.

not loyal (need i say more.)

REO

second male lead syndrome. also known as that one popular guy who's always picked last.

acts like a victim but then when you realistically tell him to how to change his situation he refuses to do so. you cannot ask for advice and then take none of it to heart. no wonder you're still not over your ex.

"i can fix him" mentality. no, you can't. you are a seventeen-year-old child, not a licensed therapist and nagi isn't even all that.

NESS

touch-starved to the point he will stay in a toxic and abusive relationship in order to gain some scrap of affection. just because you were the black sheep of your family does not mean you can lose all sense of personal dignity.

probably stalks all the people he hates. has a burn book like regina george from mean girls. cuts out and glues little pictures of kaiser all over his bedroom. doodles hearts all over it with glittery gel pen. isagi's face and name are scratched out of every team photo.

delusional and prone to mood swings. medicated but at this point, he is beyond saving.

ISAGI

a home wrecker. has ruined more relationships than he can count on ten fingers yet still manages to smile like he's some angelic saint.

solves jigsaw puzzles for a living (not very cool if you ask me.)

has some unresolved anger management issues. probably repressed all his negative feelings when he was younger, so it all comes out when he's on the field. unfortunately, his twilight-sparkle-friendship-is-magic agenda is not going to work if he keeps cussing out his teammates like that. but then again, he is the main character, so i guess his plot armor makes up for his pitfalls.

says that he's a good guy but then holds personal vendettas against rivals he doesn't like. boy was so ready to throw hands when #kaisagi was trending on the internet. but when you actually think about, he's similar to kaiser in more ways than he'd like to admit.

BAROU

has the worst case of high and mighty "holier-than-thou" attitude. isagi put his ego in check, but it still peeks out from time to time.

he was the ugliest baby when he was born. i am not going to hold back on the child barou slander because it is true. no, he was not a cute and lovable bundle of joy. he looked like a demonic gremlin.

he needs to take more risks in life and try cross-dressing. simply imagining him in a maid uniform will not suffice. it needs to be made into a reality.

with how nit-picky he is, i doubt people can realistically stay within a 1-meter radius around him. unless you are a clean freak yourself, his constant complaints will start to get annoying after a time. even if he does have good intentions, he needs to let people have a little breathing room sometimes. a messy room is not going to kill you.

BACHIRA

this boy's brain is smooth. no folds. no gray matter. no intelligence either. his pencil and eraser have been left untouched since day one. if he wasn't crazily good at football, he would be unemployed and homeless in the future. not even a mcdonald's wants him.

one of those people who will do the literal opposite of whatever you say. you want him to stop talking? well, now he's never going to shut up. you tell him not to step on a pile of dog shit? well, now he's going to walk right into it. you want him to quit running around and act normal? well, now it's his life's mission to make you as annoyed as possible. please pray for your hair follicles because at the end of the day, you're not going to have many left with how much he makes you want to tear your hair out.

has the cerebral capacity of a toddler. if he thinks monsters are real, he's going to think anything is real. super gullible when it comes to any form of scam, ploy, or trickery. the only way he would not be fooled is if he's also played the same prank before.

SHIDOU

a brazen pervert. says the most out-of-pocket things and refuses to apologize for them. sometimes it comes out a little too sleazy for your liking.

"to me a goal is fertilization! a shot is the seed and the goal is the egg!! and the birth of that joy i call an explosion!! my genes are gonna knock you up!" let us give ourselves a moment of silence to digest this quote. only shidou ryusei would come up with a sperm and egg metaphor to describe football. (i guess protection means nothing to him.)

has no empathy. if you dislike him or cannot keep up with him, you're a literal nobody in his books. no sportsmanship. no compassion. no self-awareness.

you cannot say "balls" to him in a serious tone without him misinterpreting it as something dirty. that alone should tell you enough. stay the hell away from him.

where do men get the audacity? right here. from this little bastard. he invented the term "shameless slut." boy was getting off during the u-20 arc and on live TV too. no wonder sae said he was disgusting.

and finally, he comes from a long line of cockroaches. he's even got the antennae to prove it.

i think this might have been a little excessive, but i have no regrets about it. you're welcome anon ♡

[aamy2100982]

Something I don't like so much about the latest Venom comics is the sudden victimization of the symbiote regarding their decisions in life.

This thing about Symby never wanting to do anything bad and almost putting all the blame on Eddie for the events in which they were Spiderman's villains

This whole "If we didn't do it, Eddie was going to die, It was my responsibility" thing. When we know that in the early comics the symbiote didn't give a shit about Eddie.

I believe you that at first Symby didn't necessarily want to kill Peter. But after that, any chance Spider-Man gave the symbiote to come back to him, Symby was willing to abandon Eddie in the middle of the street, naked and likely to die or try to kill himself again.

Until, of course, they realized that Spiderman didn't give a shit about them and decided that they wouldn't fall for his traps anymore and would stay with Eddie "permanently".

We understand it now, and we think it's beautiful that the symbiote felt a responsibility to help Eddie. But that's the current writers changing the story to make the symbiote look like a white dove and not what it is. An effectively bad and toxic person.

That many times is willing to kill and/or manipulate others in order to obtain a perfect symbiosis. Like when they manipulated Eddie into believing that he had cancer or when they tried to kill the priest of that church because he told Eddie that no one can force you to do things you don't want to do.

And this is not just an attitude they had with Spiderman. But also with Eddie himself.

I understand the whole point of the symbiote's redemption. Realizing that they past actions are wrong and wanting to do better in the future. My problem is how the writers are handling it.

It's not like Eddie's redemption, where he realizes that he as a person is wrong for everything he did. It's more taken from the perspective where Symby almost blames Eddie for his destructive attitudes against Spiderman. When it's evident that the symbiote tends to seriously hurt those who don't follow things the way they wants them to go.

I feel like the way things are put is right... but wrong. I read it and feel like something is off, like it doesn't feel the way it should feel.

Because we get a “I never really wanted to do any of this,” and then we get a “I don’t like fighting Eddie... am I?” Which tells me that the symbiote isn’t really giving up on itself, because it’s doing the same thing it always does. Trying to kill a host and then attaching to it when it gets the chance to come back. What changed then?

What was the point of this whole emo phase where the symbiote sought to end its own life? Did something change, or is Symby just wallowing in self-pity like Eddie did when he was Anti Venom and Venom and any other phase of his life xd

Maybe they are made for each other. I love Symby, but they've been trying to excuse it's past actions for a while now, and I can only watch the symbiote lying in the dirt while waiting for others to tell them "it's not true, you're not bad, you can still change."

And the symbiote pretends to believe it as it goes and repeats its past actions to the letter.

[frogsare-friends]

I'm Not Built for Helping Myself

chapter index | chapter 6 (you are here)

- JEREMIAH -

I don't even remember what I said. I just remember being so mad at him. At him thinking he was some victim, him acting like we were holding him back from moving on. Moving on from what? That's the real question. His dead wife that he cheated on? The house he doesn't want? Kids he doesn't care about? But before I can answer the question Conrad is there. I think I might punch him again if he starts acting like his usual self.

"That was intense," is what he goes with. The punching is still undecided. "I've never heard you go off on dad like that."

"You've never heard a lot of things." Jesus Christ, what am I? Some emo kid in a 2000's movie?

"Was that what it was like? When I was at Brown?" He almost looks scared to ask. Maybe he's more scared of the answer.

"No," I answer. I leave off the fact that he wasn't around enough to fight with. Conrad already knows that. He just gets so focused on the fact that I don't fight with dad much, he doesn't care why.

"What was it like?" I get that he's trying. I want him to try. But you have to have been trying, to build up a place where you can ask things like that, before you ask them.

"Why are you down here, Conrad?" He walked all the way down to the beach to ask how it feels to take care of your dying mom and her medical bills? How it feels when your dad doesn't even think about you? When your brother won't actually talk about what happened, just what he wants to happen? When your best friend, not even including that you've been in love with her for half your life, makes you feel exactly how she knows everyone else has made you feel your whole life? When you can't even talk to the two people you thought you'd always have because one is dying and has more important things to worry about and one is too painful to talk to?

"If I had said that, he would've killed me." So, none of the above, then. He's getting dangerously close to the punching decision being made, though.

"If you had said that, he would've cared," I shoot back at him. I wish he'd just let me wallow in pity alone.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked up, isn't it? He should- should care about you. You're pretty fucking awesome man, he's missing out" he tells me.

"I'm not the one doing pre-med at Stanford." Because how could dad care about someone like me with someone like Conrad right there.

"None of that shit matters, man." I can't fucking believe it.

"That's rich, coming from you." Maybe it's mean and bitchy and something I shouldn't say. But it's true.

"Why do you have to be such a dick man? I'm trying to be nice," he sounds mad. I don't think I can deal with the shit he says when he's mad.

"I know man, I know. Just…" I don't even know what to say to him. I need him to know that the shit he says hurts, that I remember it. But I can't tell him that. I really don't wanna fight.

"You always say I'm a dick but have you met you?" I think he's joking. But he says it so quietly that I can't be sure.

"Yeah, I have." I tell him before taking off. Talking to him was nice, it was nice having him there, trying, caring. But it didn't help. Nice isn't always helpful.

[ocbykamaete]

 PERSONAL  Name; Winston Jimenez   Pronouns; He/Him  Age; Young Adult  Species; Human  Bio; Winston is hot headed, insecure, shy and a hopeless romantic.  Or, at least, he's helpless with falling in love.  With the wrong people.  All the time.  He vigorously dislikes himself, and has a tendency to interpret kindness or comradery with romantic feelings and sets himself up to self destruct.  He's vaguely aware of this, and tries to hide behind bristled hostility, but he's not very good at it.  He's easy to fluster and he's kind of a shitty friend, who'd really rather wallow in his self pity than rise to the occasion.  Learning to not be an asshole and to respect and accept himself is the path he needs to get on, but he's set his heart against change for the fear of it. ------    DESIGN  Design by; Kama-ItaeteXIII  Original; fav.me/d5g0sme ----- Symbolism & Themes: + hearts + emo imagery + knives + black nails + nail polish + scene hair + scales + oceans + anchors + boats + compasses + tidepools + riptides + drowning + bubbles + ophelia

[blue-mint-winter]

Why Disney SW is bad and Kenobi was OOC

Here’s my answer:

The writers have no idea what it means to be a Jedi.

The identity of the Jedi, the Jedi way, the system of philosophy and beliefs that the galaxy is based on is something essential. It’s the thing that made audience of the movies into life-long fans. However, this is the element that is constantly missing in SW stories produced in Disney era.

It’s the core problem and until it is fixed, nothing can be done. If the new stories are based on flawed premise and preconceptions that aren’t in line with established beliefs and values by George Lucas, then those stories won’t magically get better. It will be the same as it’s been so far.

This reason, the lack of understanding of who a Jedi is, is why Kenobi show was also bad. The point of Obi-Wan’s character is that he is a model Jedi. That’s why he was appointed as Anakin’s master, to be an example to him. He adheres to the strict Jedi beliefs away to the point that on Mustafar he struck his old padawan down despite the pain it caused him.

But Obi-Wan in the Kenobi show wasn’t a Jedi at all which is OOC.

In ROTS Obi-Wan already let go of his attachment to Anakin. He was not dwelling on the past and useless regrets, that’s not how he was raised or taught to think. He’s a fully trained Jedi Master for a reason. He accepted that Anakin turned to the Dark Side, that’s why he confronted him on Mustafar and even then he still gave him chances to back out of the fight (”It’s over Anakin, I have a high ground” was literally his last of many warnings). After that fight Obi-Wan was done and moved on with what he had to do in the present. As a Jedi he had a clear mission - to watch over Luke on Tatooine and learn the secrets of the Force from Qui-Gon’s ghost. Obi-Wan’s whole identity is being a Jedi and the thought that he could abandon his duty and wallow in self-pity and misery like in this show is a huge disservice to his character. That’s not what Obi-Wan’s character is about.

In other words, to create drama, the writers changed Obi-Wan’s whole way of being. It was sad to watch. It wasn’t him, it was a fanservice emo man for whump lovers who love to see Obi-Wan cry and be in despair.

True Obi-Wan remembered the Jedi Code

Those are the words he lived by and this is also the thing that is completely missing in Disney Star Wars.

[gotmeringinghellsbells]

Blue to Purple

Trigger Warning: Talk of suicide and depression.

Fandom: Stardew Valley

Characters: Sebastian/Jesse (Oc)

A/N: I’ve fallen into this game so hard. Before work, after work, all day on days off. This is a very addicting game.

Description: During another depression spell, Jesse confides his recent causes of stress in his husband who assures him everything is fine.

__

Sebastian looked over from the kitchen sink as he heard the door of the house open and close. He was a bit confused to see his husband home so early. Jesse generally would search for him to give him a kiss or hug, if not just a wave whenever he reentered the cottage; but something seemed off.

Behind the gothic farmer, a curious German Shepherd followed slowly before jumping on the bed after staring at it a moment. Putting the soapy sponge down, Sebastian washed his hands before looking to investigate what was happening. He made his way across the living room into the shared bedroom to see Yoshi laying on his side of the bed, being eaten slightly by a blanket monster.

The dog glanced at his new daddy before pressing his snoot back into his first daddy. "No, you stay," Jesse's voice groaned. Sebastian chuckled before walking around to his husband's side of the bed. "Alright, what's going on?" The emo gently rubbed the blanket covered back as he sipped his morning coffee. There was silence before a thumbs up snaked out from under the covers. This, in turn, freed their first son of the farm, as Yoshi ran across Jesse to greet Sebastian happily.

The smaller giggled before gently petting the dog and kissing his head. "Yosh, can you get down?" The dog cocked it's head. This was his bed. Why was he being asked to get down? Sebastian was a bit scared of the dog but respected Jesse's rules about the fur baby. What was Jess' was Yoshi's.

Sebastian sighed before patting his leg. "Come on." Jesse groaned as Yoshi jumped off of him and earned some praising pats. With the dog down, Sebastian moved to lay on top of the lump of seemingly depression. "One of those days," Sebastian asked softly as he gently rubbed the head part of the lump. Jesse shrugged before peeking out carefully as to not make him fall.

Jesse shrugged before moving a hand out to gently rub the face of his lover. They mad eyes contact. Sebastian's purple eyes widened a bit before falling slightly he noticed how bagged, blood shot, and puffy his husband's turquoise one's were. "Were you.... crying?" Jesse paused a moment before turning his head with a small frown. "I'm fine Sebby. Do what you gotta do today, okay? I just want to rest for a few hours."

Sebastian frowned before moving the hand off his cheek. He moved off the lump before setting the coffee on the night stand. "Keeping secrets," Sebastian asked with slight disappointment in his tone. "I'm just tired Seb. Night," Jesse sighed as he curled up in the messy blankets. The emo crossed his arms and nudged the lump of sadness. "You were crying," he accused. "Your eyes always get lighter and brighter when you cry. It's not just tired. What's wrong?"

Specific observation. Jesse shook his head. Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Jesse come on. I can't help if you can't tell me," he reasoned softly. "Hun, I'm aright," Jesse assured sweetly. He looked so tired. Had he been over working himself? Sebastian frowned. "Is there anything I can do while you rest," he asked. "Unless you know how to work the mayonnaise machines," Jesse sighed.

Sebastian frowned. He didn't. "The crops were harvested and watered via sprinklers. Animals petted and fed. Eggs collected and put in the mayonnaise machines, milk gathered and wool gathered. Yoshi's water bowl is filled and that's basically it." Sebastian frowned even more.

"Do you need help around the farm? I could take on some chores. " Jesse shook his head. "No, you work on your coding. I got it baby, promise." Sebastian wasn't convinced. "Are you stressed?" Jesse sighed. "Seb, please let me sleep." Sebastian felt a bit hurt by that and moved to walk around d to his side of the bed. He noticed a bare foot poking out of the blankets and swiped at it on his way over.

Jesse jerked his foot away with a squeak before peeking out from the covers as Sebastian giggled and finished coming around. That was a sign to put his foot back. "Don't, " Jesse pouted. Sebastian frowned again before sighing. Still in his pajamas, he crawled back into bed and scooted so his butt was against the other.

He wanted to be spooned.

Jesse sighed, guilt hitting him for his rather unnecessarily mean behavior. "Sorry," the farmer muttered as he moved up to do his duty. Sebastian shook his head as he took Jesse's arm and held it lovingly around him. "Nothing to apologize for." Jesse grunted in response as he moved to bury his face in the other's hair.

Sebastian made a bit of a face. "Jesse, please," Sebastian pushed. "I heard you muttering last night. What's going on?" The goth nuzzle closer before saying something into the dark locks. "Honey," he sighed, "you need to move out of my hair." "Just a nightmare. Don't worry about it." Sebastian gently kicked at his leg.

"Jesse," Sebastian huffed. The farmer was quiet a moment before sighing. "I keep having bad dreams. The mumbling in my sleep you've been commenting on is a result of stress dreaming." Sebastian huffed. "I knew it. Why don't you give me some chores around the farm? That would be less stressful, right?"

Jesse gently kissed the back of his husband's neck. "Your sweet. But that's not the source. Coming here from the city, from a stable 9 to 5 was a huge toll that I didn't realize until I got off the bus my first day. I left behind help, I left behind stability, and I was left to a sinking ship." Sebastian blinked. He had never heard this before. He heard about the financial struggles during the first two seasons of Jesse's first year in Pelican Town but nothing more in regards to his move.

Jesse started to play with the fingers that held his hand on the other's torso. "Sinking ship?" Jesse hummed in conformation. "Your mom never mentioned it to you? The cottage was old and quite.... well.... wasn't very well taken care of. The farm was over run by rocks, trees, and weeds galore. I was give some old tools and left with 500 gold to my name to make something of the place or risk poverty."

Sebastian was quiet. He didn't know about these things. They talked on a daily, even before dating and marriage. How hadn't he heard this before? "So I've been stressed about money. I have plans but then the resources don't play out and nature isn't always in my favor and things fall apart. But that's the farm g life. You take risks and gamble your income in hopes of a better income." Sebastian was quiet. He gently rolled over and snuggle into the other's chest.

"Why haven't you mentioned this before?" Jesse kissed his head lovingly. "I don't know, honestly. Guess me joking about how broke I was and just wallowing in my now worsened depression with you got me by it. Not like I can really get my meds up here." Sebastian pushed him a bit. "Harvey," he started, but was cut off. "He's very expensive. No, I will be fine."

The smaller pouted before sighing. He reached up to feel the long, black locks of hair. Jesse merely pouted before his eyes watered again. "I'm just scared to loose it all. After all, I bonded with each of those animals. They're like my kids. I couldn't think of having to sell them.

"Yoshi was a stray whodunit found lingering by my farm. I don't know if I could get him off the farm if I were to fail. If I had to move back with my mom, he'd be miserable. Cramped in a small apartment? Yeah right." He paused as he notice Sebastian look a bit confused. "I don't think I could force you into such instability like that Sebastian. I know you didn't feel you know.... at your parents but it would be better than being stuck with Yoshi and I as we fall back at my mom's place."

"No. I wouldn't be leaving you! What the hell Jesse?" He gently slapped at his boyfriend's arm. "What you come up here, then plan to ditch me if you can't stay?" Jesse frowned, he hadn't thought of it that way. "I'd find a job and help us back on our feet. Regardless of how cramped it is and full of people, as long as I'm with you I can handle the city. I can handle wherever we end up." He pressed his face in the built chest as he finished, hugging the other slightly.

Jesse felt tears well in his eyes. "Guess that brings us to issue three then. Finances, farm fears," he sighed. "I.... I feel like I ripped you away from your family." Sebastian froze. "Come again?" He didn't want to look up. "We new each other two seasons before I asked you out. Then we dated for like half of that fall, all of winter, and most of the following year's spring. Then I asked you to marry me.

"Just.... I was so in love with you. I could relate so much to you. Your just so sweet, dorky, nerdy, considerate, just.... your amazing and.... I feel like I rushed it with you. We've only known each other for a year and two season yet.... here we are. I just... I don't know. Between you, our farm, I just feel like I've.... just rushed everything for progress.

"I don't think I've done anything right." Sebastian felt his eyes water before he glanced up. "Are you.... questioning our marriage?" Years of just wallowing in self pity, depression, suicidal thoughts, never fitting in, never feeling like family to his family. This was really hitting hard. "Ah, no, no, no! Sebby no, I'm not.” Jesse panicked as he moved to wipe the tears away and gently kissed each, delicate eye lid. Sebastian blush a bit before being pulled into a tight, loving hug.

"You seem so happy now and I know you love it here. I'm just.... I feel I've messed up as a person is all. I'm so happy with this marriage and I know your in better health now. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have worded it like that. Same with excluding you from moving worst case scenario. Just.... city and three room apartments with two tiny bathrooms.

"I just didn't want you to feel caged in." Sebastian frowned before nuzzling into the other. "I like to feel small. A cage is something that can be used to contain something, but also protects it from the outside world. It's a misrepresented safety." There was a moment of silence before Jesse kissed the purple hair sprouting off his chest.

"I love you. I'm sorry." Sebastian shook his head. "Your an idiot," he sighed before leaning up to steal a true kiss from the other's lips. Jesse kissed back softly before they separated with small smiles. "Are... you good? I mean I said a lot and," Sebastian cut him off. He poked his forehead. "Is the farm failing?" Jesse shook his head. "Are we financially burdened?" Another shake. "Do you love me?" A nod. "You understand we're together through thick and thin?" Jesse paused before nodding.

"I accepted your proposal. I accepted your initial confession of love. I reciprocated it. I was so excited when you proposed, to be with you on you, 'sinking ship’. I love you, don't just brush me off like that next time your thinking of future plans. It really hurts. But if there's anything you need help with, ask me. Even if it's going into town and applying for a job."

Jesse kissed his head again. "I'm sorry," he whimpered. "I didn't mean it like that. Your right." Sebastian sighed before nuzzling into the taller gently. "I love you, I really do." Sebastian sighed. "I know you do, your just dumb," he laughed as he hugged him tighter. He was trying to get the taller to drop the subject. Jesse soon found himself giggling as opposed to whimpering as a finger traced gently down his ribs.

"Shehebby," he squealed as he shifted slightly, still holding the other. "Yes," Sebastian asked as me moved his finger up and down the ribs, scratching now and then. Jesse squirmed, giggling all the while. "Oh gosh it tickles," he snorted out, wiggling his feet. "Ah, it tickle, it tickles!" He was curling and really starting to wiggle his feet as he giggled softly. His stomach filled with butterflies and his chest felt lighter. As he gained muscle, his body had become quite .ore sensitive. What would normally only slightly tickle was now really leaving lingering sensation down his side.

"I'm hardly doing anything," Sebastian teased as gently added another finger. Jesse squeaked, holding him closer as his legs failed about. "Nhahahao! Oh gosh! S-Sebby please! Hehehhe!" Sebastian felt his own face heat up from the reaction. He stopped momentarily to sit on the other's waist; this would then warn a large blush followed by a shy look. "What are you doing," Jesse asked softly as he wiggled his feet a bit in preparation.

Both knew if he really wanted to. He could over power the smaller; but both knee, he would never do that. "I think you need to relax huh? Too mush stress isn't good for you." He was smiling gently, eyes looking over the taller fondly. Jesse felt his heart explode with butterflies from the delicate gaze. "Maybe some.... physical therapy will help?" Sebastian paused before cringing with a snort. "Sorry, I'm not very good at these.... things. Just... too dumb and sappy. Just, I'm going to tickle you." Jesse squealed just from the word. "No, Sebby," he whined before really giggling as fingers gently traced his forming pecs.

"Yes, Sebby. You need to smile more~." Jesse giggled, gently holding the other's arms as a brace. "Oh man, that's really sensitive! Mmmm!" Black hair was strewn about the pillow case as Jesse pressed hard into it. Sebastian giggled, giggled. "I would hope," he replied happily before moving to scratch around the soft forming bumps. "Eek! Hahahahha! Mmmm! Pfff! hehehe!" Jesse was such a gentle giant with him. It made Sebastian's heart swirl as he watched this man who could easily apprehend him just take the gentle, playful torment.

He never used his strength to his advantage or slight height difference. He was always so caring and sweet to Sebastian. Maybe a bit secretive and forceful now and then but never anything bad. When Sebastian was depressed, Jesse would just reply "same" before inviting himself to join the other in bed and cuddle him with a "but your not dying today." He would randomly bring him Jesse and his favorite foods, he was just.... an overall sweet guy.

He was covered in tattoos Sebastian loved to trace and rehear the stories behind, piercings that he'd have to free Jesse from when they'd get stuck in something, and had many scars; each with their own story too. They were similar yet different. But Sebastian was in love.

"Ah! Not the armpit! Eek! Nahaho please!" Jesse started snorting and gasping as he laughed hysterically and rolled around. His husband merely rode the bucking bronco with a smile as he tried to get through clamped arms to the gold spot. "No? Not going to let me in? That's alright, your thighs seem more appealing." Jesse froze as he felt the hands leave him. No. Not the thighs!

He gently took Sebastian's hand and smiled with residual giggles slipping out. He looked so tired yet so happy. "Oh no you don't." He gently moved Sebastian down, now hovering over him. "I made you nearly cry today. What kind of a husband would I be if I didn't cheer you up?" Sebastian blushed before feeling his stomach now flip with butterflies. "No, that's alright," Sebastian giggled out. God the anticipation could be the worst part.

"No, no it isn't. I love you and I need to make this right. I see you smile everyday now, laugh at our animals antics. But the laughter is never long lived. Don't tell me our home is starting to bore you." Sebastian shook his head vigorously.

"Oh no, Jesse please!" Jesse merely snorted before kissing each eye lid softly. "And where was my mercy?" Sebastian squeaked, squirming around slightly now. Jesse knew all of his weak spots having tickled him many times before, this was going to be hell!

"Coochie, coochie, coo," Jesse whispered into Sebastian's ear as fingers started to move gently under the cloth covering his love's torso. Sebastian immediately burst into a giggling fit, unable to suppress his laughter when disgustingly cringe worthy things are whispered into his ear. "H-Hey! Ahahaha! I wen-honey! Hehe he! Too much!" Jesse giggled as he let up, switched to just tracing with a single finger.

Sebastian calmed down significantly, covering his face as a wide smile was forced upon his lips. His feet wiggled as his hips turned from side to side. "Aw, is my darling husband too sensitive for even one, little finger? Is he? Man you are adorable," Jesse squealed out the last part. Sebastian's face was bright red from the teasing, his body going into affection and attention overload.

"Coochie, coochie, coo~! Ah, tickle, tickle, tickle my adorable Sebby~!" Sebastian shrieked from the teasing as he treated from freedom. Jesse paused to lift the pajama shirt up more to repeat the pale torso in all it's glory. Sebastian peeked out through his fingers, eyes watering and face radiating heat from his blush. He merely whimpered from the new child before giggling softly as fingers moved up towards his underarms, before moving back down again.

"Honey," he squealed as he gently tried to catch the intruding hands. Jesse merely giggled before lifting and arm overhead, causing Sebastian to panic. "Wa- wait! No pinning! Honey please, not there!" Sebastian was shyly trying to hide himself away as his husband slowly released his grip. "Really? Because last I knew, you pinned me by sitting on me, and didn't complain when I did the same," Jesse teased as he gently traced the underarm.

Sebastian shrieked before kicking his legs and shaking his head while covering his mouth. "T-This is unfair," he snorted out. "Oh? But I let go of your arm, pumpkin. There shouldn't be any issues now." Pumpkin? Rare as it was it made Sebastian melt. "Your killing me," he whined between giggles in response. "With love," Jesse reminded before slowly taking his arm back and re lowering the arm that was gripping the head boards to keep from closing. After a few moments of recovering, Sebastian noticed the lack of after care..... which meant.... oh no.

He dared to peek up, blushing more as he saw the other looking at him with such loving eyes. God they were both so gross and sappy since marriage. "Honey, what are you doing," Sebastian giggle out nervously. Jesse said nothing, just moved down a bit to sit on Sebastian's thighs. Wait.... why would he- no!

"Ah darling no!" Sebastian shrieked as he launched up to stop the other. Not the knees, please, not the knees, he giggled as he held Jesse's hands. "I... I can't! It's too ticklish!" The taller blushed before giggling a bit. "All the more reason to just gently trace it," was Jesse's reply. "Or fetch that duck feather out of the sell bin and just gently flick it here and there under your sensitive knees. Just dusting, crease cutting, feathering~?" Sebastian was as red as a tomato as he resisted the urge to cover his face. Once he let go. He knew it was game over.

"Or maybe.... we could play that game again? I know how much to enjoy thus~. I could just gently strike at your soles and toes while we play DnD again? A stock punishment? The feather u got today would really have you giggling." Nope, he couldn't do this. "Don't talk about it like that," Sebastian whimpered.

"Why? I like it too. It's relaxing, it's fun, it feels nice." That was really the only bonding he had with his mom that he could remember though. Demetrius never really bothered with him aside from telling him what to do and he was jealous of Maru so that only left his mom. She would tickle him to tears as a boy and young teen.

"Yeah but, you make it sound perverted," Sebastian huffed. "Oh, my bad," Jesse replied as he gently slipped his hand away. "Huh? Wait no! Jesse," Sebastian argued before freezing as a small squeeze was delivered to the under side of his knee. Oh no.

He glanced nervously at the other who smiled lovingly and did it again. A squeak. Sebastian was holding himself now, shaking his head. "Truce," he asked shyly. Jesse paused before sighing and giving a nod. If the other really didn't want to be tickled to death. He wouldn't force him.... at the moment. He moved to hold the smaller who quickly leaned into him. The flustered man quickly gave into the hold and went back to hiding his face in his husband. "Your so mean," he sighed as he started to calm down.

"Rude! I am not," Jesse replied as he gently tickled Sebastian's back. The giggles started up again as Sebastian fell into the other's chest. "Jess, stop it," he squealed. Jesse did before giggling himself and gently kissing his lover's head. "You know what sounds really good?" Sebastian peeked up from his chest like a kitten. "Hm?" "A power nap." Sebastian smiled before nuzzling in close to be held closer. "I love you," he hummed. "I love you too, Sebby."

[sweetest-honeybee]

Some Thonsg just Never Change

Summary: Despite everything, Deceit just isn’t good enough to be anything.

TW: Brief suicide mention, cursing, and a LOT of self deprecation

Characters: The King (named Romulus), Deceit, and everyone else is mentioned a bit but I focuses on Deceit and the King

Word count: 1366

Got this idea like 40 minutes ago bc I couldn’t sleep so here’s a lot of Deceit angst:

—————

It’d been only a couple hours since he came back. The awestruck faces of everyone when they saw The King for the first time in over a decade. The knowledge that they all just went through something they’d remember for years. Battling nightmares left and right risking their lives to keep their Host in just along the line of stable mental condition. They risked their own friendships and allies but in the end, when Romulus stood up the moment after, they knew that it was going to be okay.

But it wasn’t. It wasn’t exactly new. Sure, a brand new castle and the fact that Roman and Remus were mostly likely now gone forever was a bit jarring, but Deceit was the only side who really believed nothing had changed.

Logan, like always, made new schedules for Thomas’s therapy appointments and helped Thomas file for a service dog. And idea still loved by Patton. Patton was still the happy, bubbly father everyone still loved. Virgil was still the emo mess he’s always been. And now Romulus was a part of their little family still.

Yet, nothing had changed for Deceit.

He expected maybe that his room would be moved from the broken down mansion across the imagination in a barren and cold wasteland. He thought maybe he finally was accepted by Thomas as an “official” side that gets to hang out with everyone and attend the movie nights and holiday dinners. He thought he may even get a new outfit after the events like everyone else did. It certainly was clear that Logan looked quite nice in a silken blue vest and newly patterned necktie.

But none of it happened. A week later, nothing in his life changed. He was still living, now completely alone, in the freezing, dark, old mansion Remus built. Snow and wind still flowed through the cracks and crevices and Deceit was still stuck to simply wrap himself as tight as he could in his cape and a small blanket and hope he didn’t get caught stealing leftovers from the other sides.

The King was too busy with new tasks and new powers and new limits. He had new friends and family and now everyone suddenly wanted to be around him. Everyone wanted to work with him, help him in any way they could, and evidently keep him away completely from that other end of the imagination where deceit lived.

They still didn’t like deceit. He was still that lying two faced villain that they came to meet earlier on. Despite his best efforts during what happened a couple weeks before, he was still cast to the shadows were Thomas would never really see him again willingly.

And so that was where he is now. Months later, sitting on the floor in front of an ever crackling fireplace curled into Romulus’s blanket and eating some cold, stale crackers. He stared blankly at the fire as it moved. It certainly seemed more passionate than he’d ever will be again.

A musical knock at the door pulled his attention away from the fire. He groaned and stood, knees cracking from sitting so long in the cold. He stumbled to the door and opened it and wondered who on Earth would be at the door at this time. What time was it? He wasn’t sure.

Standing in the doorway was none other than Romulus. He grinned at Deceit who blinked slowly with a frown up at the King. He rolled his eyes and huffed.

“Can I help you? Or you just gonna stand there like an idiot.”

Romulus frowned. “Well that wasn’t very nice. I at least smiled at you.”

“Wonderful, what do you need?”

“I came to ask what you were doing. I managed to get some time to myself and I never really got to see you.”

Never really got to see you. Of course that stupid King would find Deceit when he finally had nothing else to do with his life.

“Sorry to disappoint you but I’m busy sitting on the floor wallowing in self pity because nobody else will. Good day.” Deceit moved to shut the door but Romulus stopped it and cocked his head to the side.

“Is that my blanket? I’ve been looking all over for that.” The King crossed his arms and pursed his lips at Deceit. Deceit flushed and stuttered.

“It’s really not what you think, I don’t have any other blankets-“

“This is an old one too. Where’d you get it from without me noticing?”

“That’s not important. Just skip the interrogation and take it back, I don’t need it.” Romulus glanced around and observed the room further.

“Crackers? It’s about dinner time, why on earth are you eating crackers?”

Deceit grew defensive. “Well maybe I like to eat crackers. You ever think of that. Don’t you have better places to be than to sit here and shit on how I’m living?”

“Okay, jeez. I’m not shitting on your way of living. I’m just asking questions. Anyways, I don’t see why you live here in the first place. This is all old and broken down. Don’t you have a room in the castle or something?”

“If it was, don’t you think that a reptilian hybrid who can’t stand the cold like me would be living here? My room is upstairs in this godforsaken crackshow because Thomas is a dumbass.”

“Well that’s no way to talk about your host!”

“Oh I’m sorry, maybe the fact that even after every fucking little thing I did for any of you fuckers, I’m still living here with nobody scowering for food and decent shelter and stealing blankets from people and not getting the damned recognition I deserve is pissing me off just a little bit?!”

“Man you lose your temper quickly. Either way, if you want me out so badly I’ll leave then. By the way, if you want recognition so badly then maybe you should come over once in a while. Nobody is gonna change their mind if you don’t at least come to the movie nights.”

Deceit struggled to find any words. After everything he just said, that’s all the Romulus had to say? After that fact that The King just saw that one of his technical subjects was living in a freezing dump eating stale crackers on the floor with a stolen blanket, he was just going to leave?!

“You’re a fucking asshat, you know that? You don’t know what it’s like to sit here and have to work for days on end and experience what could’ve been your own death and work together with everyone to save your host from suicide only to be told you’re still not fucking nice enough and not fucking honest enough and not fucking trustworthy enough to be considered to be even close to a friend as opposed to family!”

Romulus stopped just before he left the door. He turned his head slightly. Tears pricked at Deceit’s eyes and he sniffled.

“I’ve worked day and night to get to where they are. I even sat here supporting Remus so that I had a decent friend and someone who would be there for me. I gave my meals to him! I gave him my blankets and my clothes to wear when he was cold only to be given a fucking palace and a family on a silver platter without raising a finger!”

Deceit clenched his fists. He shut his eyes tights and let some tears fall, and a few more, and then a sob escaped his throat at the memories of everything he tried to do. Everything that wasn’t enough. Everything that wasn’t what they wanted.

“You don’t know what it’s like to not ever be enough. To not live up to the standards you were given. To give up everything for someone you love only for them to just leave forever….To just…..abandon you and move on to someone else……”

Deceit finally stopped and continued sobbing on the floor.

But by the time he was done, Romulus was completely gone from the door and on his way back to the castle with only a single tear shedding down his face.

[akitokihojo]

Delicate - Chapter 3

Inuyasha was unsuspecting of his own actions as time steadily progressed. Without realizing, he'd begun to scan the school grounds for Kagome, feeling a little less edgy when he'd spot her walking along or standing by, listening to her friend rant about something. Instead of appearing unaware and self-involved in the corridor, if he caught her scent or her voice, he'd glance over at her. She was almost always looking back. The real kicker that knocked the air from him was his unconscious reaction to her greeting. When did he go from brooding grunts to smiling hello's? Where was the shift? How was it suddenly so natural to respond to the upturn of her lips when she traveled over to him with a grin of his own.

He was beginning to panic.

Clearly, she was a dangerous creator of emotional turmoil. The same witchcraft Sango casted on the flirtatiously-smooth Miroku must have been casted on Inuyasha. And she was cruel enough to do that idiotically cute cock of her head when she greeted him after her seance had been completed. The audacity of this woman. There was no evidence of ritualistic activities in her room, though, sans for a scented candle on her nightstand which could potentially pass for something, but with how often his dumbass of a friend went on about that being the only feasible reason to his own problem, it had somehow weaseled its way into Inuyasha’s head that it was a tangible possibility for his, too. What else would explain the half demon suddenly growing mushy and nice after claiming from the get-go that he wasn’t worried about developing any sort of connection with her? So, he made it a point to check for clues when he visited for their study sessions. Nothing. Not a gothic, ceremonial, sacrificial, or satanic thing in sight. She was the epitome of bubbles and flowers - until she was mad. It was bullshit. Because all that meant was he was becoming just as fucked in the head as Miroku.

He'd told himself, just stop reacting. Mind your business. Keep your head down and go back to grunting, and the sensations will eventually go away for good. This isn't anything to worry about. But, then his eyes landed on her right after school one day. Koga stood a little too close for his liking, and she was giving the wolf that same smile that made his brain a little foggy. He didn't like it. It was a stiff awareness that crawled up his esophagus, that heated him unpleasantly, that tensed his jaw and sharpened his sight. He was jealous, and unwillingly so. He was wrong to think opening up even the slightest was harmless with Kagome. It was always the other person he had to push away; it was never - not once - himself that he had to hold back.

Every day since, he had to swallow his growl when he saw the jock joke around with Kagome, give playful touches to Kagome, ask Kagome if she wanted to go somewhere with him. Especially when the stupid wolf grasped for any excuse to talk to her while she was hanging beside Inuyasha. He had to remind himself, and he hated that he actually needed the reminder, that if he didn't want anything from her, he was in no position to give anyone else shit. Nor did he plan on giving anyone any insight on the feelings he was currently attempting to subside. It was irrational. He felt utterly foolish. 

That was as far as he'd allow things to go. 

Hey, gotta cancel tomorrow's study session. I'll let you know the next time I'm available.

Kagome grew increasingly disappointed the longer she stared at the text message. He'd been coming over every week for the past three months, multiple times a week more often than not. It was easy to grow accustomed to, and if anyone asked her, she'd be willing to admit she enjoyed the time they spent together. She'd learned how to bounce off of his attitude with her own, how to get him to admit little things he was reluctant to at first, how to read his sloppy handwriting - which was a feat on its own. She liked his presence most of all, because he wasn't as hostile or grumpy as looks would deem, but she also liked when he came over during the weekend and he wore one of those casual, v-neck shirts that didn't sink too low but showed the edge of his clavicles. She liked the way cotton sweaters hugged him, and how, no matter the weather, he still rolled up the sleeves of the shirt of his school uniform. She liked the way he leaned a little closer when she had questions about a problem, and how she could catch his pleasant and unnerving scent. She only had to deal with the rampant fluttering in her belly during the first two minutes of being with him - yes, she'd timed it - and then things would calm and everything flowed rhythmically from then on.

He was busy, he had a life, she totally got that. She was just bummed that she didn't get to see him this weekend when it had been something she’d been able to look forward to for a while now. Even when she caught the drift of her studies and he didn’t necessarily have to help her with anything, they’d sit and do homework together, and sometimes watch a movie in her room if they finished before he had to get home.

No worries! Have fun doing whatever!

She meant it. She really did. No one had to know she was ready to turn on anything emo by Avril Lavigne to drown out her exaggerated letdown. She wasn’t so selfish that she’d act like he owed her his time or anything. Just dramatic enough to wallow in self-pity with her bedroom door closed while absolutely ignoring every freaking thought that told her he might, might, be out with another girl.

Kagome wasn’t oblivious to the exact moment she’d sunk so low that she couldn’t convince herself into thinking she didn’t care for him passed study buddy material anymore. It happened rapidly; like the Twilight Zone’s Tower of Terror dropping six stories kind of rapid. He’d come over after school for not the first time, he’d greeted her mom and brother for not the first time, he’d carried the waters up for the umpteenth time, but then once the door was shut and the books were out, he brought up a picture on her bookshelf in the far corner of her room. It couldn’t have been the first time he’d seen it, but he acted like it was. He asked who was hugging her, and she told him that it was her dad. She could see the question on his face, how he hesitated to ask, how if she didn’t proceed on her own accord or changed the subject, he probably wouldn’t have fought her on it. Kagome didn’t have a problem talking about it, though. She’d come to terms with what had happened, and she trusted him more than enough to tell him the truth. About how her dad had gone missing when she was seven and found dead a week and a half later. Truthfully, she didn’t know the nitty gritty details of the incident, nor did she want to. She preferred that the last image she had of him in her head was the framed photo there on the shelf. Furthermore, she’d explained that that was why and how she’d learned her mom’s little habits of making sure she was home by checking for her shoes or her keys or little displacements of items in the kitchen or bathroom. And, it served as incentive for her to be a little less discreet about those indicators, while also not being obvious that she knew her mother’s secret, overprotective habits. It helped soothe her worries. This was also why she’d often walk her brother home from practice after school, or why she’d head to wherever necessary if her mom was working late to pick her brother up from his friends. Sota was only eleven, and the boy couldn’t hurt a fly if he tried. To spare her mom the ulcer, she played backup guardian to the twerp with minimal complaint.

When you tell someone a story like that, it’s reasonable to expect a bit of awkwardness to linger. Kagome was fully prepared to wave off the subject and give him the perfect setup to return to normal and call her dumb for not understanding the chemistry assignment she’d been given. It’s perfectly understandable for a person to not know how to respond to the subject, but Inuyasha was different. He was watching her almost the entire time she spoke; his eyes not drifting down or to the side in the air of discomfort. He was tense, but in a sympathetic way. And, when she shrugged and smiled at the end, concluding her explanation, Inuyasha shook his head and stroked her hair, apologizing for bringing it up in the first place.

Of course, she’d dismissed his apology. There was nothing to be sorry for. His hand had landed on her shoulder, his fingers threaded through her hair, and that was it. She remembered feeling hot in that moment, short of breath, lost and found in succession. That was the first time he’d touched her, and it was unbelievably tender.

Did he feel the same way towards her? Yeah, right. Kagome was on a one-way train to Painsville no matter what, and this was just the beginning if she didn’t get a grip. Sango liked to feed her hope, and Kagome would be lying if she said she didn’t appreciate it. That didn’t give her any reason to be obvious with her stupid, crippling crush, though. Anytime she wanted to get close to him, maybe graze his hand in a way she could pull off as casual, or even flirt like she had on that very first day, Kagome froze. Having feelings for someone was terrifying. You’re vulnerable and susceptible to unbelievable amounts of humiliation, and while Kagome was bold with her words, she wasn’t quite the same with her actions. At least, not in regards to this field.

Guys were supposed to make the first move, anyway. Not girls. Not her. And until then, until Inuyasha miraculously sprung some feelings for her too, she would be moping face-down on her bed.

Inuyasha only made it to her house once in a two week span. He hated admitting it, but it was hard to stay away. Kagome didn’t ask when he’d be able to again, and a small part of him wished she would. It was this nagging twinge in his heart wanting to know if she’d even cared or wanted him there, but no. He didn’t bring it up and neither did she. Of all the times for her to mind her business, this was when she chose to. So, he caved. He asked if she still sucked and needed help, and it seemed like her face lit up, his nerves grasping at any little cue that could spark needless anticipation. As if he wanted anything more to fuck him over. The original objective was to spend less time with her, and cut the chord he’s disturbingly developed. The former he was succeeding with; the latter was a different story, which became evident to him when she didn’t show up to school one day. 

Kagome never missed class. 

He told himself she’d probably caught a cold, but it didn’t help any. Answers were easily attainable, but seeking them out was too conspicuous; Sango was too clever not to immediately figure out his motive, and he could see her having too much fun taunting him before giving up an answer. Getting Miroku to ask Sango would send Miroku spiraling into a wild panic attack on the floor. Texting Kagome and asking, himself, was just purely out of the fucking question for no good reason other than preserving what was left of his sanity.

Throughout the day, his worry increased. Fuck if he knew why. He figured if Sango was fairing fine without her, he should be too. Right? But, her best friend most likely knew the reason she was out. He didn’t. He didn’t like that he didn’t know, either. Inuyasha liked knowing things. Kagome was fairly open with him. He should have just texted her. Chances were probable that she would have answered without skepticism. If he had just sent the damn message, he wouldn’t have felt so stressed right now. Yet, here he was, tapping his nail against the surface of the desk in his bedroom, knee bobbing erratically, completely frustrated - with his irrational mood more than anything.

“I’m going out real quick. Be back in twenty.” Inuyasha announced, throwing his jacket over his shoulders at the door. His uncle gave him a small acknowledgment from the living room, the words as horse and wheezy-sounding as usual, and the half demon slipped out the door without another word. 

Kagome bounced around the center of her bedroom, light on her toes, swaying to the intro music of her favorite show on TV while she scooped small spoonfuls of ice cream from the pint in her hand. A couple soft knocks had her stop, the taps sounding like they’d come from glass but her common sense saying that wasn’t possible. She waited to see if she’d hear it again, willing to dismiss the noise as a creak in her floor, but when it did happen, she turned toward her window, a chill shooting up her spine as she saw Inuyasha staring through. Her gasp was loud and high-pitched, but the swear she let out was murmured between other swears beneath her breath.

The hanyou gestured for her to open the window, perched on the small roofing available from the first story.

“What are you doing?” Kagome hissed after dropping her pint on her desk, opening the frame for him to come through. 

“I forgot something here. I wanted it back.” Inuyasha stated, keeping his tone casual.

“You forgot something here? Four days ago? And, you decided now is a good time to come get it?” She crossed her arms over her chest, watching as he twirled around the room to look for his object.

“Yup.”

“It’s eleven o’clock.”

“Yup.”

“What did you even forget?”

“My,” He delayed for a second, thinking. He’d rehearsed this the entire way here, yet he still blanked on his excuse. “Pin. Must have fallen out of my pocket.”

“Really? I haven’t seen any pins.” She mentioned, doubtfully.

“Oh, there it is.” He pointed to the small, golden crown pin stuck in her cork board. “You even made a home for it, liar.”

“That’s because it’s mine.” There was something off about him. Nothing that tipped her concern, but strange was strange nonetheless. She cocked a brow, and her lips inadvertently curved upward in response to it all. Even as he leaned over her mattress and stole the pin right out of the cork board.

“Oh. Well, does it have any sentimental value to you?”

“Not really.”

“I’ll just keep it to replace my own then.” He twiddled it in his fingers, shrugging resolutely.

“You’re being weird.” She pointed, entertained. “What’s wrong?”

“I told you, I forgot something.”

“Except you didn’t.”

“Except I did, and you weren’t at school for me to ask for it back. So, I took it upon myself to come get it.” His tone was slightly rougher than usual, gruff, and not cooperating to conceal his main purpose in the least. Was he worried about her, or just courageous enough to sneak over in the dead of night? “Speaking of which, you don’t look sick.”

“I’m not.” She disputed, a little surprised. “Sota tripped during soccer practice last night and broke his ankle. I stayed home to watch him so mom didn’t have to take off work.”

“Oh, shit.” Inuyasha’s brows pinched together. “Is he alright?”

“Yeah, he’s fine for the most part. Until he learns to crutch his way upstairs, the living room is his new bedroom for the time being.”

“Need any help taking heavy things down for him?”

“Nah, we got the important things down there so he’s comfortable. Besides, mom may not appreciate us making a ton of noise with that right now. But, thank you.” Kagome softly raked her teeth over her bottom lip.

He gave a slow nod, feeling a little stupid, wishing he’d just had the guts to text her. Seeing her, though, was so much more satisfying. His eyes travelled over her, taking in her camisole and flannel pajama bottoms, her bare feet, her messy waves, her makeup-less skin, and the glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. How did she still look beautiful? It was time for him to go.

“Alright, gramps, go to sleep. It’s passed your bedtime.” Inuyasha said huskily, brushing her shoulder on his way back to the window.

“Oh, wait.” Kagome went over to her nightstand, pulling the only drawer open and rustling through the miscellaneous belongings until her fingers pinched a small, rubber top. Turning back to him, she took the crown pin from his hand, pushing the sharp end through the top of the chest pocket of his jacket and fastening it there with the rubber. “There. So you won’t lose it again.”

“I’m not keeping it there.” Inuyasha shook his head, unamused. Still, she giggled, perfectly happy with her little stunt, giving it a pat for good measure.

“By the way, I won’t be at school tomorrow, either. Just in case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t.” He lied, slipping through the window frame. 

“Just in case.”

“And, even if I was to begin with, is there any problem with me coming over to find out!?” There was the lick of defensiveness in his tone.

“Not really. Feel free to use the front door next time.” Kagome smiled.

“Yeah, because your mom would be so cool with me showing up this late at night.”

“Window’s fine, too.” She said, bobbing her head back and forth to agree with his point. 

“Lock the hatch. And, get some better dance moves.” He said, though his small grin robbed his joke of all harshness. The half demon was light on his feet, easily scaling a nearby tree to reach the ground silently, walking through her front yard and disappearing passed the neighbor’s house.

It was comforting to know he cared. It was warming to think that he’d worried about her to the extent that he had to come see her. The joyful smile on Kagome’s face cramped her cheeks, her face hot and blustery as she shut the window.

—

He smelled the wretch before he’d even walked through the front gate, his chest clenching and abdomen going uncomfortably rigid. It was like anxiety instantaneously washed over him, making him angry, his fingers furling into fists, and his upper lip curling in a snarl. He was so fucking tempted to slam the gate shut and turn around to leave right then and there, but the scent of someone else along with their uninvited guest had his curiosity rising. To top it off, after all these years, Inuyasha wanted to know what the fuck this bastard could possibly want.

Upon entry, his stomach was almost in complete shambles. It was like he could physically feel his blood coursing rapidly through his veins, boiling, hot. 

“Inuyasha, that you?” His adoptive uncle called, his elderly voice ringing from the living room. He didn’t answer. It was too fucking difficult to open his mouth without the threat of a fearsome growl coming out instead. “Come in here. I’m sure you’re aware that we have some visitors.”

The hanyou dropped his book bag in the entry hall, taking a deep breath that filled his tight chest as he moved his feet forward. Turning the corner, amber eyes immediately collided with matching amber before the opposing shifted away, utter disinterest marring his straight expression. His hair was nearly matching Inuyasha’s style, long and worn high, silver, straight, and making Inuyasha want to cut his length off entirely. Looking at him sitting there at the small table, the shape of his shoulders, his matured facial features, their numerous similarities, he realized how unforgivingly powerful their father’s genes were. He was glad, among all else, the big differentiation between the two of them were the ugly fucking facial birthmarks Inuyasha was spared. 

“You’ve grown up, little brother.” Sesshomaru claimed in his monotonous voice. It was insane to notice that despite their separation, the asshole still hardly seemed to have changed.

“Yeah, that happens when you haven’t seen a person in eight years.” Came Inuyasha’s venom-laced reply. “What do you want?”

“Now, now, Inuyasha. Civility.” The old man said from the nearest end of the table.

“I come with news. I’ve already told Totosai, but he insisted I stay for dinner and tell you, as well.” Sesshomaru still wasn’t looking at him. It didn’t even seem like he was looking at his uncle. The arrogant bastard was looking through the old man; like they were beneath him.

Before Inuyasha’s relative further explained, small footsteps padded down the opposite end of the hall Inuyasha had just come from, walking toward them, humming softly and attracting one of his ears to twitch in their direction. He turned, seeing a small girl no more than five enter the room, large eyes looking up at him with curiosity and ample amounts of excited wonder. Her hair was messy, wavy, and a deep brown, long but half tied back to keep loose strands out of her face and at bay.

“Rin.” Inuyasha’s brother beckoned, and the little girl didn’t hesitate to follow the call, crossing the room to sit next to him. “I am getting married. This is my fiancé’s daughter, which I treat as my own. Though, I couldn’t care one way or the other, Kagura, my soon-to-be wife, finds it important I indulge you two in our happenings and introduce you to your niece.”

“Isn’t that nice, Inuyasha?” His uncle asked, his tone one that pushed for pleasantries from the hanyou.

“Yeah, sure. It’s nice that you’ve found someone to whip your ass into a family you won’t desert.”

“It’s hardly desertion if I had no responsibility to you.” Sesshomaru coldly replied, now looking through Inuyasha.

The little girl’s smile had faded, obviously picking up on the animosity in the room. He whole-heartedly pitied her for the guardian she’d been bequeathed. Sesshomaru was flaky and more emotionally constipated than Inuyasha could ever be accused of. Children deserved love and attention, and from his own experience, he just couldn’t see the plausibility that his brother could ever be capable of giving that to anyone. Then, as he focused on the innocent more intently, details became a little more clear.

“She’s,” He paused, a heavy disappointment sinking into his stomach. Betrayal began to crawl its way up his spine, through his muscles, into his throat to create weight in his words. His eyes flickered back to Sesshomaru’s. “She’s human?”

“Mostly.” He responded with a single nod, not a shred of guilt in his tone. His hand rose to land on the top of Rin’s head, softly stroking her hair. “Her biological father was such and she did not inherit much of her mother’s demonic traits. But, that is unimportant.”

“Unim- Like hell!” Inuyasha barked.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Inuyasha.”

That was all he had to say? For all the years of shit he’d put him through for the blood coursing through his veins that he had no control over, that was all he fucking had to say? Like, it was no sweat off his back. When he said it was unimportant, what he actually meant was “unimportant” had two different definitions here. In terms to Rin, it didn’t matter that she had human blood. In terms to Inuyasha, he didn’t matter. 

“Go fuck yourself.” Inuyasha growled. Without missing another beat, he left the room, heading out the front door and slamming it shut on the way. Knowing the bastard, he had no intention to stay overnight, so he’d wait him out for as long as it took. Totosai would text him when the coast was clear, so until then, he’d walk it off. He’d get as far away as necessary until he didn’t smell either of the intruders anymore, until his justified anger was calmed, until Sesshomaru was long gone with his happy fucking family.

The sun had set, his feet carrying him to a part of town he often hung out in. One mostly populated with college students that drank coffee late at night for fun while hanging in The Square below strung lights. Hardly anyone was out at the moment. Anyone he knew, at least. He was thankful for that; the last thing he wanted was to socialize. It was unintentional that he’d come this way to begin with, he just needed ample amounts of air that still weren’t helping to quell his surging frustration. He was safe to go home; he’d received the green light already, but the fact that his breathing was still ragged, and his chest still felt heavy, and his nose crinkled with disgust every time he thought back to that brief conversation told him he was better off staying out.

With a dragged inhale, Inuyasha took in a lungful of Kagome’s scent, feeling a minute percentage of his stiffness falter. He thought he’d imagined it, but the further he walked, the more powerful she became. He looked over the surrounding area, trying to pinpoint her when she appeared from an upcoming corner, aggressively locking her phone and shoving it in the front pocket of her pullover hoody. As if she’d sensed someone coming - or heard his footsteps approaching, which was the more feasible option here - she glanced his way, her lips parting slightly as she focused on him.

“Oh, hey.” She smiled softly. “Fancy seeing you here.”

He couldn’t even bring himself to return anything half as welcoming as she’d mustered, his nerves still on edge and his agitation still roaring. “What are you doing out here?”

Kagome sensed his rigidness and noticed the way his ember eyes swept left and right over her head, landing on her momentarily only to do the same sweeping motion. His hands were tucked in his charcoal pant pockets, and he still donned his school uniform telling her that he hadn’t even been home. He seemed upset, but thankfully there wasn’t any visible evidence of fighting to serve as the purpose. For the moment, she brushed it off. She could be wrong, and if she jumped the gun and started prying too soon, she’d only make him mad. “Well, my friend, Ayumi, is going out with this guy for the first time. She wanted me to hang back and spy to make sure everything went smoothly, and if she gave me signals, I’d move in and give some lame excuse to end the date. But, she gave me the wrong address for their meetup spot, which is nowhere near here, so she’s on her own now.”

“This isn’t a safe part of town for girls to be alone. Go home.” Inuyasha ordered. She was sure he didn’t mean for the ice in his tone, but it was there. It was disconcerting.

“I - I was heading home.”

“Good. Head down the block and make a right at the crosswalk, and you’ll be on a straight path to - no, fuck it, I’ll just walk you.” He stepped to the side so their shoulders wouldn’t brush as he passed her, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

“Wait, are you okay?” The question was properly warranted now. It was clear that he wasn’t. Far from it, she presumed. 

“Fine.”

“No, you’re not. Stop for a second.” Kagome sped to catch up to him, walking at his side with bared hands. He did as she said, irritation evident in his eyes as he looked down at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” It wasn’t believable in the least. There was no conviction in his voice, the word coming out forced and gruff. “Can we go?”

“No. Talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk to you, Kagome. I want to fucking get you home.”

She wrapped her fingers around his exposed forearm just as he began to continue walking, halting him mid-stride, his skin heated. If he didn’t want to talk, fine, but she didn’t feel comfortable with the thought of him being alone after dropping her at her doorstep. Most importantly, she could tell by his heightening levels of aggravation that being in the public’s eye wasn’t the best option for him. She knew if she were emotional, on the brink of losing her temper, and under the pressure of onlookers, her anxiety would spike and she’d end up in a preventably-critical state. So, she gave him a tug in the direction of the park.

“What are you -“

“Just come on. Trust me.”

Surprisingly, he hardly resisted. Surprisingly, he didn’t pull his arm from her hold, allowing her to guide him through the trees and along the cemented path, around the empty play area for kids and toward the large pond. Not a person was in sight to disturb their time. As far as she was concerned, Inuyasha was free to let it out. They stopped at the edge of the water’s barrier where she finally released him, the fingers of her right hand dragging down his skin to drop at the hem of his pocket.

“Something’s clearly wrong, so don’t lie to me about that. You don’t have to tell me what happened, but the option’s there. I’ll listen. If you’d prefer, I won’t even say a word while you tell me; I’ll stay completely quiet. But, if you’re not comfortable talking about it, I’ll just stay with you until you feel better.”

“I don’t need you to babysit me.” Inuyasha sneered, rolling his eyes.

“It’s not babysitting. It’s company. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

He knew she wasn’t going to give in. The girl was fucking stubborn and relentless. The trouble was, he didn’t have a good enough excuse to not open up at the moment. Her presence was already helping his tension levels decrease, and his brain was muddled enough not to fight anything more than he already had to.

“Don’t talk.” He grumbled, giving in. Kagome gave a nod of understanding, watching him walk passed her to pick some twigs off the ground, breaking them apart and tossing small pieces into the pond. “My half brother decided to pay me a visit. We’ve got a shit relationship. Always have. We’ve got the same dad, but different moms, and his is demon so that makes him full-blooded and better than me by default. When our dad died, our moms still attempted to help us establish this brotherly bond, but there’s a considerable age gap between the two of us so it was a struggle. Man, I still remember the first fucking time he said he never considered me his brother.” Inuyasha chuckled cynically. “I was, like, seven or something. He calls me ‘half demon’ like it’s disgusting. He looks down on me. I’m pretty sure he blamed my mom and I for dad’s death at one point. And then when he hit eighteen, the fucker was gone. Mom got sick and died when I was thirteen, and the only blood relative I had left was him, but where the fuck was he? I was in the system for half a year before my dad’s old friend showed up and took me in. Haven’t seen my brother in almost a decade, and he just waltzes in today like it’s an ordinary Friday playdate. Tells me he’s getting married to a woman with a daughter whom he considers his own now. And the kicker is, she’s mostly human. The kid’s mostly human!” The laugh that time was laced with his concealed pain, and Kagome’s heart was dropping, sinking, weighted with the grief he tried to swallow. “What’s even better is he hasn’t changed or anything. He didn’t come around to make amends, he doesn’t look at me any differently. Fuck, he doesn’t even look at me! I’m still this low-life half demon to him, and he’s still a piece of shit. The kid - it’s not her fault. I know that. But, for some reason, I can’t help but hate her, too.”

Because she’s getting everything he was robbed of. Inuyasha was an orphan. He’s had it so hard. Where he should have had familial ties and support, he had prejudice and heartbreak and scar tissue. He was left alone only to have it rubbed in his face.

Even if she was allowed to talk right now, what could Kagome possibly say to make him feel better? She didn’t understand the half of what he felt, and pretending like she did could potentially only serve as salt in the wound. He didn’t deserve that. She’d promised she wouldn’t speak, but allowing him to roost in the pain he felt, undisturbed, wasn’t okay with her. She wanted, among all things, to comfort Inuyasha. As he swung his last stick into the pond, Kagome stepped forward, gently grabbing his arm so he’d turn her way.

Years. It had been so many fucking years since anyone had hugged him. Kagome walked into him slowly, almost cautiously, her hands sliding from his waist to his back, holding him so securely as she tucked her face into his chest and pressed her body firmly against him. It was almost like he didn’t know how to respond to the gesture anymore, his muscles stiffening, his arms hanging at his sides. He felt her fingers clutch the back of his shirt, bunching the cloth, her breaths so deep and calming that they inadvertently began to guide his own. Three years since anyone had touched him so affectionately. He’d had his rendezvous, he’d kissed, he’d lost his virginity, but none of it meant anything. It was empty. To him, and even the girls on the other end of it, it was a way to kill time, none of them knowing how to fill the void inside. There was no touching outside of hookups. There was no security. There was no emotion.

Yet, with a single hug, something he hadn’t experienced in so damn long, Kagome had successfully breached every one of his defenses in the most peaceful of manners.

Inuyasha’s shoulders gradually lowered, his chest aching, his fear rising, his arms wrapping around her body - not quite holding but not quite hovering. He suddenly realized how much he trusted her, and he detested it. Trust could be broken. Bonds were indefinite. People leave on a whim. They could get into accidents and leave their families behind, they could be careless and  get themselves murdered, they could get sick and die, or they could just decide they’d had enough of you and disappear. Relationships, in any variation, would always be seen as fragile and pitiful and pending for disaster to him. There was no stability. The farther he kept himself from all of which, the less disappointment the future carried.

He felt a numbness expand over him, dulling all sensations as his decision solidified. Kagome couldn’t matter to him anymore. Sesshomaru’s little visit helped magnify Inuyasha’s reasonings for always keeping people at a distance. He wasn’t going to go through it again. He was stupid for allowing it to have gone as far as it had. 

“You should get home.” He said, gently pushing her away from him. “It’s getting late.”

| 1 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

[leftabit-leftabit]

I Adore You  - Prinxiety

Summary: Virgil has been a little distant lately, due to believing that he’s not good enough to be Roman’s boyfriend. Roman, on the other hand, believes that Virgil is avoiding him because he thinks he doesn’t love him any more. They’re both wrong. 

Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Fluff - (Happy ending)

Rating: PG

Pairing(s): Prinxiety - Roman x Virgil 

Word count: 1176

Verse: Human au

Warnings: Insecurities, Atelophobia (fear of not being good enough), crying, Anxiety attack, need for reassurance, vulnerability, doubt, fear, panic, self-deprecation, feeling touch starved... Let me know if I missed anything.  

---

"Do you still love me?" 

The question was innocent enough, and as regular as clock-work. It happened at least twice a day, possibly more if Virgil wasn't having a particularly good day. Roman knew the signs. Virgil would snuggle closer, bury his face against Roman's chest, laying the palm of one of his hands on the others pec; feeling the steady thud of a heartbeat. He would pass it off as a normal hug or snuggle, waiting a few beats before actually asking Roman the question. 

"Do you still love me?" 

And there it was... Roman never minded that his boyfriend needed constant reassurance, or everlasting attention. Not once did he get frustrated or deflated each time he heard the same thing pour out of Virgil's lips each and every day. It was part of their routine. Virgil would ask and Roman would always reply with an 'Of course I do, always,' and then peck a gentle kiss on top of the emo's magenta locks. The smaller male would be satisfied with the response and go about his business. That's how it always was. Every single day. 

But lately things had been different... something didn't feel... right... Virgil had been asking the question a lot more than he usually did, and there were no hugs or snuggles to go along with it. Instead, there was lingering distance, and tear smudged make-up dribbling down his cheeks. He wouldn't even go near Roman for even the slightest touch of comfort. There were no more kisses. No more hand holding. No more... Ahem... passion-filled moments. The bed they shared felt emptier at night. The meals they shared grew bland. The love they shared quivered with each and every change it had put them through. 

It scared Roman. He'd always listened to Virgil's question. The same old question. And for once, Roman found himself wanting to ask it. "Do you still love me?" Though he had to refrain... because what if the answer from Virgil's plump and softened lips was one he didn't want to hear? Because what if it would just set him up for even more heartache? What if Virgil said no? What then? 

He couldn't help loitering outside of their shared room, hand hovering to knock, hesitating. Taking in a deep breath and plucking up the courage, Roman tapped on the door. "Virgil, babe?" his other hand pushed down on the handle, easing the wooden shield open and allowing him to take a step inside.

Once Roman fully entered the room, his gaze landed on a rather dishevelled looking Virgil sitting in a heap in the middle of the bed. Hair askew, as if he had just woken up from a long and needed nap. Eye shadow smeared all down his face and turned to grey slush from crying. Cheeks flushed pink. Shoulders hiding his neck due to how slumped he was. Roman had never seen him look so... tiny and vulnerable. At least, not for a long while. 

"I d-don't want you to see me like this..." Virgil grumbled quietly, heaving a blanket over himself as if in protest. "Get out." 

Roman didn't leave. Instead, he took a few more steps closer before eventually taking a seat at the end on the bed. "I'm not leaving you alone to wallow in your thoughts." They both knew nothing good could come of that. 

The smaller male hugged the blanket closer, cocooning himself with a layer of softness and fluff. He felt safe in the blanket... but not as much did when Roman hugged him close to his chest. That couldn't happen now... Virgil wasn't worthy of his hugs. Virgil wasn't worthy of his love. 

"Can you tell me what's wrong, love?" Roman reached out a hand only for it to get batted away. 

"Don't touch me!" Virgil screeched, scrambling against the pillows at the top of the bed. He didn't deserve his gentle touches. He didn't deserve anything Roman offered him. Virgil didn't even deserve to be with such an amazing human as Roman. "Pl-please... just... leave me alone." A sniffle of a sob pushed its way up his throat, catching at the back and making him choke on his own self-pity. 

A bead of wetness welled up in Roman's ochre coloured eyes, making them shine gold. "V-Virgil, please talk to me... tell me what I did wrong and we can fix it, please." Roman inched closer to the smaller male, scooting his body up the mattress. His hand hesitantly hovering at Virgil's blanket covered thigh. Virgil had never scrambled away from him before. At times like these he'd jump straight into his arms for comfort. He'd leap into his lap. He'd seek his warmth, crave his touches, need him tell him that everything would be all right. 

"Thuh-that's the problem, Roman!" Virgil uncovered himself from his blanket cave, eyes bleary and full of tears, his make-up smudged to an inch of its life. But he was beautiful nonetheless in Roman's eyes. "You haven't done a damn thing!" Sobs racked the tiny males body, shoulders bobbing under the blanket as his gaze lowered to his shaking hands. 

"Wha-" Roman blinked away the wetness from his eyes, brow furrowed into a frown of confusion. "Virgil, I don't understand - I did nothing? Should I have?" 

"I... w-well, I thought you..." Virgil sniffled and pulled the blanket around himself again for comfort. "I thought you would h-have broken up with me by now..." 

Roman recoiled in surprise at his boyfriend's confession. "Why on Earth would you ever think that?" he asked, scanning the smaller male with an expression of pure concern. His brows tugged together, lips pursing in thought. Had their relationship been falling apart without his notice? Was his love and affection not strong enough? Did Virgil feel abandoned when he left for work? Did he -

"Because..." The emo paused giving a wipe at his eyes with the sleeve of the oversized hoodie he always wears. It was more or less a second skin to him. "Because I'm clingy... needy and - and constantly waste your time..." His voice croaked out like a baby bird learning to tweet. 

"Hey, hey..." Roman shuffled closer, until their thighs were touching and shoulders connected. Snaking an arm around the others shivering body, Roman drew him near allowing Virgil's head to rest against his chest. At just this action Virgil's sobs grew louder, fingers clawing at the fabric of Roman's shirt, as the dam keeping his cries inside broke under the pressure. Roman let out a soft sigh as he gently began brushing his fingers through the others fluffy locks of magenta.

"D-do you still luh-love me?" Virgil's shifted against Roman's chest, gaze worried and wide. 

Roman's head gently lowered, shaking. "No, Virgil. I don't." He paused, pecking a kiss on the emo's forehead before he could react. "I adore you. I always have and I always will. Nothing will ever change that," he lifted Virgil's gaze and smiled. "Ever."

[lordofthetrashbin]

Can you write about going to a corn maze and pumpkin patch with the Sides? -&

I’ve only been to a corn maze once in my life and have never been to a pumpkin patch but have a bunch of dorks playing in a maze

Anyway, it’s immediate chaos.

You get there and know somethings up, you don’t have three dark bois sharing looks and not immediately know they planned something.

Remus running off before anyone can stop him? Yeah, that’s normal.

Deceit grabbing Roman and dragging him through the stalks? pretty suspicious

Virgil grasping your hand with a smirk before dashing away from a very confused Patton and Logan. Yup, you’ve been kidnapped.

Virgil’s dragging you along, thankfully slow enough that you’re not tripping because lord knows Virgil could outrun anyone if he actually wanted to. He only slows down once you’re both significantly lost, letting you catch you’re breath and ask what the heckity is going on.

Turn’s out Virgil, Deceit and Remus planned a game of capture the flag.

You’re the flag.

“It’s simple,” Virgil explains. ”I guard you while they others try to capture you. If they can get you to the exit of the maze, they win. If I can keep you away from the gate until times up, I win.

“No cutting through the corn unless someone is chasing right behind you/In front of you.” Enforce this rule with Deceit, he will cheat if he thinks he can get away with it; Virgil warns you

Winner gets to some of their favorite candy from the losers Halloween haul and you get a generous donation from everyone playing for being the victim.

Of course, Virgil gives you a way out if you’re not down to play or just don’t want to be dragged around by a bunch of dudes. “Just say the word and I’ll go kidnap Logan.”

But assuming you’re down, it’s game on. Virgil sends a text to Deceit to let him know you're in and Deceit sends the rules to everyone else.

At first, it’s quiet, Virgil keeps you two moving although this time just at a walking pace all while keeping a hold of your hand.

You ask why Deceit took Roman if this isn’t a team game and Virgil explains that Roman could easily keep up with Virgil while he had you slowing him down “No offense” and the prince would immediately give chase once he saw Virgil stealing you away and that wouldn’t be very fair.

of course, this small interaction is enough of a distraction that Virgil doesn’t realize what's happening until you’re lifted right off the ground. “Catch me if you can, fart face!” Remus cackles as he dashes through the stalks with you in his arms, Virgil right on his trail.

by some miracle, the darker twin loses Virgil and comes to a stop on one of the paths. He twirls around for a moment, just to be sure you two are alone before he just beams. “I caught you~!” he absolutely delighted and happily paces down the paths at random. “I can’t wait to flush all Roman’s candy down the toilet- I mean I was going to do that anyway but now he has to willingly give it to me.” Remus rambles.

But speak of the devil, Roman comes charging down the way with Deceit following behind him. “Release them! It’s two against one, you will be winning nothing, fiend!” Deceit stands beside Roman, looks like the two formed a team.

You expect Remus to run again, as is the point of the game but instead you're rather carelessly dropped to the side as the twins decide they’d much rather fight for their victory.

You’re debating on just wondering off to find Virgil again when Deceit slinks his way around the fight and offers you a hand, helping you stand before tugging you away before the twins can notice he’s stolen you away.

So much for Roman’s team; Deceit only laughs if you point out his betrayal.

Deceit keeps a brisk pace and seems to know where he’s going, it takes you a moment or two to realize that he’s following a trail of small yellow stones “It’s not breaking any of the stated rules.”

Unfortunately, stones can be moved as Deceit found out, turning into a dead end that had a certain emo grinning as Deceit very obviously fell into his trap.

It’s a standoff, the lying sides glare meeting the anxious sides smug expression. Deceit weighs his options before releasing your hand. “Fine, you got me.” The snake crosses his arms. “But watch your back.” With that Deceit leaves, obviously huffy about being fooled so easily.

You’d bet Virgil has pretty good odds at winning, now that there was much less time but the emo looks sheepish as he leads you around a few corners. “Hope you weren’t ready to rest just yet.” He warns you as two blurs of blue rush past, one grabbing your sleeve and leading you through the stalks while giggling far too happily.

You can’t help but giggle with them.

one because of course Logan and Patton are working together and two, Virgil could very easily catch up with Patton’s speed but somehow get’s left behind.

Patton slows to a stop, panting slightly and grinning like he’s already won. Logan seems more composed and greets you with a smile before rushing you two along, urging that you all needed to get going before you were found again.

You ask Patton how he got Logan to play and Patton admits to bribing him with crofters since Logan isn’t a huge candy fan. Patton is much more open to talking while you both follow Logan

Until you’re snatched once more into Deceit's arms. “Well, look what I've got-”

“DECEIT”

cue Roman making his appearance “I trusted you! We were a team!” He shouts and you don’t doubt that every one of your ‘hunters’ heard it.

“Roman! I would never! I saw our dear sweet friend being dragged off by that dastardly emo and came to reclaim them for us!”

If you decide to call out Deceit, well, his flustered glare is very well worth the fact he may actually murder you.

Not that you have to worry for long because Patton and Logan yoink you and dash through the stalks with Patton yelling a quick “Sorry Roman!” This time there’s a chase, Roman won’t be beaten so easily even if it means taking down his darling puffball.

You guys can hear Roman right behind you, Patton’s taken the lead through the stalks and you’re pretty sure Roman’s about to get you when Logan grabs your hand and tugs you down to the side. You’re held against his chest as you both hide, Roman takes no notice as he still hears Patton running and chases after him.

It’s a few moments before Logan stands and helps you up, heading the opposite way Patton was running. 

Did Logan betray Patton?

“I... May have.”

Logan did a falsehood!

“I did not! I am still keeping my promise to let Patton claim my reward. He just won’t be the one who won it like I may have lead him to believe.”

Omitter! “That’s not even a word.”

With Patton leading a distraction, Logan has time to find a path of Deceit’s stones and from there just retraces his steps towards the exit all while you tease him for lying and he tries to justify his reasoning. Though it’s mostly just because he wants to beat Roman.

You guys are on the winning stretch, the exit in sight when Logan suddenly takes your hand and dashes forward. Just barely avoiding getting tackled by Remus who makes a quick recovery and immediately charges you both.

It’s far too close, Remus reaches out and grabs your arm just as Logan’s touches the entrance gate while still holding your hand and secures his victory.

Remus almost immediately goes limp on you, his head on your shoulder as he pretty much whines in your ear about how close he was. Logan takes moment to recompose himself, looking way too pleased with himself as he tells you he’s going to get water for everyone since they’ve been running around all night.

Remus falls next to you in the dirt and wallows in self pity.

Virgil shows up and double-checks on you to make sure you didn’t get hurt or anything since he arrived to you alone with Remus

Deceit comes through looking miffed as ever until you brag about Logan lying to win which he enjoys way too much.

Patton and Roman come back together which brightens Remus who now brags how much closer he was to winning than his brother and Patton pouting until Logan assures him that he’ll still have the candy reward.

----

as for the pumpkin patch, all I can imagine is Remus immediately trying to smash everything while Deceit encourages him and Virgil and Roman try to stop him.

Logan actually finds pumpkins while Patton declares you monarch of the Pumpkin patch which is instantly a mistake because Remus hears and tries to put a half smashed pumpkin on your head as a crown and drape the pumpkin’s ‘guts’ over you so that no rebellion starts among the squash folk.

[sinsforjeon]

Discipline {Six}

[Hi! My trial exams have finally ended and I have a month and a half before I start my finals uGh I’m tIrED but I missed writing this story so much:”) so here’s another part with soft!yoongi oK on with the reading ily🥺💕]

Your father has had enough and so he goes to greater measures to make sure you leave your bad ways behind.

Ot7Xreader, foul language (god is always watching), future smut, dom!bts, brat!reader, sadhours! softhours! smexyhours!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You felt pathetic, tears rolling down your cheeks, mixing with the hot water that engulfed your being. So many people have it worse than you, why must you wallow in self pity?

Sniffling quietly as soft hiccups left your dry lips, you made your way out of the bathroom and there he sat.

His face was strangely comforting to see, eyes unwavering and intensely staring at your figure as you bit your lip to try and silent your hiccups.

“G-Good ev-ening, Yoongi.” You mumbled, bowing slightly and the man sighed, you could feel the pity rolling off of him which confused you. Wasn’t he supposed to be happy? Get some kind of pleasure of seeing tears roll down your face?

“Oh, Princess...” he trailed off as he stood up, taking you in his arms. This caused your tears from earlier to return, more powerful this time.

Yoongi sat you on his lap while he sat on your bed, gentle hands running through your damp hair as he tried to calm you down.

“Hoseok was mean, wasn’t he?” He asked softly and all you could do was whimper and nod.

“‘m sorry, Princess, he’s doing what’s best for you, you know that right?”

You didn’t answer, only burying your face onto the crook of his neck.

“We can see how much you hate it here,” he continued, “but in order to let you go we have to do our job, yeah?”

You whined softly, knowing he was right but didn’t express it verbally.

Yoongi cooed gently as he hooked a finger under your chin bringing you back to him.

“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t cry, hm?”

He hummed as he wiped the tears off your face before placing a kiss on each cheek.

“You’re being nice.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

You shook your head as he held eye contact, caressing your face gently.

“Thought you guys h-hated me.”

Yoongi laughed at this, his chest vibrating gently against your back.

“Not at all, Princess.”

“Not even Hoseok?”

“Especially Hoseok.”

Your face showed that you didn’t believe him, the man thought you looked pretty with tears running down your face. Fucking sadist.

Yoongi could tell that there was a reason behind your bursts of tantrums because there was no way that the girl that sat on his lap was telling them to eat a bag of dicks not so long ago.

“What’s the matter, Princess?” He asked and you tilted your head up in confusion.

“Why are you hiding?” He continued and your breath got caught in your throat as you looked up at him with wide eyes.

“I-what?”

He sighed and smiled softly. The hand that was caressing your cheek back in your hair.

“C’mon, Princess, I’m smarter than that you know.”

“I don’t u-understand-“

You felt as if your heart was beating out of your chest and you wouldn’t be surprised of Yoongi could hear it too.

“Oh but you do, you’re this gentle soul that puts up this wall, a mask almost, what are you hiding from... who are you hiding from?”

You suddenly felt very exposed and not from your lack of clothing. Were you really that easy to read? You swore Namjoon had seen through you and now him too?

“I’m-I’m not hiding” You replied, your voice now void of any emotion as you tried to get up from his lap but he only held you tighter.

“Don’t do that.” He spoke, his voice somewhat angry sounding and your heart immediately skipped a beat.

“Don’t pretend with me.”

“Yoongi, I’m no-“

Your words were cut off by his stern look and you sheepishly looked down at your lap.

“What did I just say, Y/N?”

You didn’t know what to say, you words stuck in your throat as you tried to articulate anything but alas.

“Princess, eyes on me.”

You didn’t hesitate because gone was the sweet Yoongi and now you were sat with the king himself and god forbid you did some stupid shit that would find its way to Hoseok.

“Are you going to answer me? Hm?”

“I’m scared.”

You spoke, finally and from those two words you felt as if a weight was lifted off of your shoulders.

His eyes softened as he saw yours fill up with tears but you refused to let them fall.

“I’m scared of the world, so-“ you took a deep breath, blinking away the tears that sat in your eyes.

“So I choose to hurt others before they can hurt me.”

Yoongi only stared in silence and you cleared your throat uncomfortably.

“Who hurt you, Princess?”

He asked and once again you looked at him in shock.

“No-“

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N.”

You hated this. It was so much easier when he was a dick to you. Why did he all of a sudden care?

“What- Why? Is- Is this something Hoseok sent you here for? Get information out of me that he can use so he could break me down into nothing but tears?”

Your tone was aggressive but only because you hated the interrogation, because you hated that he was right.

Yoongi’s hold on you started to get painfully tight and that could only signify his anger.

“You know damn well he could’ve gotten that himself, I’m here on my own will and don’t you dare use that tone with me.”

“Or what, Yoongi? Are you going to humiliate in front of your brothers huh? Well fuck you! Because I-“

You were crying, thrashing in his hold that he so strongly refused to let go of.

“You wanna know something?” He asked and you didn’t respond only becoming immobile in his hands.

“Hurt people hurt people.” He murmured and you swallowed thickly, eyes refusing to meet his.

“This isn’t you, this is who you want to show because you’ve been hurt and it’s the only way you know how to protect yourself.”

His words were so painfully true, you could feel the sinking feeling on your chest that you hated so much.

“The others know too, you know. They know that the girl they speak to everyday isn’t Y/N because no matter how hard you try to run, you can never run away from yourself.”

They knew? The thought made fear bubble up in your chest. No, they couldn’t know, there was no way they knew.

“The real you will always overpower that mask, Princess. There are cracks in your mask and your true self always shines through just like it is right now.”

“Please stop, I-“

“It’s ok. I won’t hurt you- hey, look at me,” he reprimanded as he held your face in his hands, his eyes more intense than before as they stared into yours, “I will not hurt you, Y/N.”

“That’s what they all said, Yoongi. They- They promised.”

They promised. You were never always like this. You were always cheerful, positive and full of joy but she ripped that away from you. Your mother. She left, leaving you and your father for another man and ever since then thing started going downhill. Everyone coming in your life just to leave you again, it hurt, it hurt that you were so easily replaceable in people’s lives.

“I know, sweetheart, I know but I’m not the same.”

“How? How are you different from any of them?”

Yoongi hesitated at the question, you could see the gears turning in his head as he kept his eyes on you.

“Because I was once like you.”

And that was the last of your conversation. No words came from the both of you, only soft breaths and intense eyes.

He pulled you closer to his chest, continuing his gentle ministrations from earlier.

And for the first time in a really long time you let yourself go and you were Y/N. No one else.

Just Y/N.

Tags: @taeriffococean @snowythellama @slutforjjk @crazy-fangirl-10 @aretha170 @my-bts-babes @joonsbias @itneverends15713 @ashbash9909 @beautyyounggirl @shooklier @optimisticbouquetgentlemensworld @im-emo-motherfuckers @ravennightmares @dionymint @jiminiesthiccthighs @tall-iirose3773 @hopeivx @merxkii @joyful-jimin @namjoonsslutakakoreanmanswhore @blackpanther4550 @avalanet @httpjazel @bloominlovely95 @yasbts705 @anothershorthuman @btsxdoll @sweetcrvture @ximaginx @bookoffracturedescapes @daysixdrum @feedthefandoms995 @bartiertae @w0lfqu33n @vanitypoko @beetaeass @slxtfortae @luvu3000times @butter1babe @i-am-supermerwholoked221b

[im-not-a-joke]

Niche AU Things part 3

i have no idea what i’m doing at this point, but here you go

[ au co-created by @eraseyourbookofstories with help from @strangerthingsiscool ]

Friendship things!

- max and dustin are soft chaos

- they love each other a lot but go on tangents about the weirdest things

- they get really creative and come up with the weirdest ideas

- they send each other random posts that remind them of each other, it’s wholesome

- max and will also get creative

- but instead of talking about random tangent things, they write an entire musical

- they write together a lot

- they rant to each other about characters they come up with for hours

- steve and will are an iconic duo

- steve gives him all the free things from the bakery he works at

- jonathan is totally not salty about this at all

- “babe i want baguettes too” “i have to bribe him to give me his blessing” “no, you really don’t” “i know, we’re tight”

- they go bowling all the time

- “i have to bond with my brother-in-law”- will

- “why didn’t you invite me to the wedding :(” - el

- ive just now decided that jonathan and mike are also an iconic duo

- jonathan is grumpy because his boyf is ignoring him for his little brother and mike is emo because of course he is

- they wallow in self pity together

- sarcasm boys

- “why is he ignoring me” - they both say at the same time and lock eyes from across the room

- jonathan tries to use his time with mike to his advantage

- “sorry babe, i’m hanging out with mike, wait mike, no you can’t go hang out with- no- whatever”

- mike enjoys hanging out with jonathan but will leave as soon as will becomes available to bother

- jonathan and robin are also buds

- robin likes to write nancy a lot of notes and jonathan is volunteered to sneak them into her car

- nancy know but just doesn’t question it

- one time, jonathan tried to get steve to do it but it did not end well

- “steve, it’s 6 in the fucking morning, why are you trying to steal my car” “good morning to you too, nancy”

- jonathan and robin totally go on long car rides together

- jonathan brings out the calm in robin, so they just kinda chill in quiet the whole time

- that or robin will rant and jonathan will half-listen

- he knows she doesnt want advice, just to get things off her chest

I could go on about friendships but

- other things

- mike rants about this one show he’s in a lot

- so the party all plans to come surprise him and see it

- they show up on opening night and when mike sees them after the show, he gets so excited he just straight up kisses will

- max and dustin lose their shit at this

- lucas and el are a mix of relieved and tired

- so thats how they get together

- at some point, mike the grayaromantic grayasexual tells will that “youre the only person i’ve felt so intensely about” and will is shocked

- so now theyre gay on main all the time

- mike is a theater gay (tm) so he’s good at singing

- he will sing to will sometimes and will is in love

- the wheelers move up to maryland where the byers live because ted has work and nancy and mike are excited!

- hop also saves max from neil by just being like “move in with us kid”

- so now there are 4 in maryland and 2 in virginia

- but that wasnt the point

- mike serenades will at 3 am

- jonathan and el find it hilarious

- will is not having it

- will mike and max all love cotn, a broadway musical

- mike sings songs from it all the time

- mike and max sing together and ft el and will because they literally can’t be away from each other for 2 seconds

- will is in love with their singing, el is confused

- el doesn’t know musicals

- so will makes them watch cotn with him

- it makes them even gayer for max

- lucas teases mike constantly for singing cotn songs

- but dustin drops by unannounced one day and hears him singing infinite in the shower

- he records it and sends it to the discord

- he never lives it down

- dustin is also a talented boy

- but none of them know it

- one day lucas hears him singing infinite under his breath

- lucas forgets how to exist he is so gay

- “my favorite boy,,, can sing,,,, and is singing,,, my favorite song,,,, god is real”

- so max, mike, dustin, and will can sing well

- lucas is ok

- el can not sing

- they stick to clarinet

[smolie]

in december i wrote a 2020 year music review for myself that i intended to post here BUT...because i was infamously restricted twice last year, i didn’t bother since you wouldn’t be able to read it anyway because it was not possible to view my blog hjfdhfd

now that my restricted era is (hopefully forever) over i just want to post it here for the sake of completion since i want to do the same thing this year

this is really long so if you actually read it ... idk you are insane in the membrane and i love you... but i genuinely don’t expect anyone to read this hjfdhjf i just like reflecting on the music i have listened to and be able to look back on what i enjoyed in certain stages of my life! okiiii bye 💗

january

mac miller - circles (album) it’s a bit funny that i worried putting my thoughts down about this album and now it turns out to be first on the list, chronologically of course … oh bittersweet irony </3 listening to this album is such a double edged sword, either way i am always hit with a truckload of feelings when i turn to this release.

this album came to me in a time of my life where i was slowly but surely sliding down towards rock bottom again just after i got out of it and thought i was okay. the times i’ve listened to this crying in the bathtub with a glass of wine….girl let’s not lol…. it’s almost strange how much i can relate to the thoughts another person brought to paper. the comfort this album brings me is otherworldly, i feel so understood by mac’s words and it’s my go-to “wallow in self-pity for a bit then come out stronger than before” album. then again, i feel a little sting when any of mac’s songs come on shuffle. a friend of mine said she cannot listen to artists who have passed because it feels too strange and most of the time i agree but this time, it’s so so different. this album would have been mac’s salvation, i can feel it. everything would have been a bit brighter and lighter for him after this, it would have had to be. i feel like i would do him a disservice if i did not listen to this album, so i will cherish this final gift from him as his legacy and my comfort. i miss him incredibly and am all the more thankful he shared his heart with us.

album favs: circles, good news, surf

tiny meat gang - broke bitch (single) MAN I TELL THAT BROKE BITCH IF YOU WANNA GET IN TUNE BETTER CHANGE YOUR WHOLE PITCH LIKE WOAH !!!!!!!!!! did that give you whiplash? hehe funny to say this about a song called broke bitch by a duo called tiny meat gang but this song actually means a lot to me! it came out shortly before their show in berlin and i almost exclusively listened to it on my 7+ hours train ride from one side of the country to the other to see my meat boys. this played out of the fat ass speakers at the venue when they stepped on the stage and i will never forget meeting them :’) also the song fucking slaps obviously

february

loona - [#] (mini album) ah yes, the most controversial loona release to date! i’m not gonna lie and say this sounded anything like i expected it to. but also, i have come to terms with the fact that loona release noise music now and personally i am here for it. why not did not have the endless energy of hi high or otherworldly vibe of butterfly, but it’s a hype song and i am always there for hype. i also have to say the b-sides were not as strong for me as on previous releases but i think i have to come to peace with the fact that loona will never top their debut mini for me. though if i can wish for one thing…… let loona have title tracks with a chorus in 2021? pls? crumbs?

album favs: so what, oh (yes i am)

tame impala - the slow rush (album) *lights cigarette* i’m listening to pretty underground music….i don’t think you’ve heard of this band….they are called tame impala *intro of the less i know the better starts playing* yes i am a basic white bitch and listen to like 3 alternative bands but damn i listen to them religiously. like any other basic bitch on this planet i found out about tame impala through the less i know the better and checked out their music. i wasn’t too much into this album as i was into currents but towards the end of the year, i was in a moody alternative music slump that took me back to this album and i like it a lot more now! most importantly, tame impala fulfills my primitive urge to listen to songs that exceed the 4 minute mark. something clicks in my brain when i see a song that is like 6:34 and chances that it ends up as one of my faves on a album are high. i enjoy tiktok like everyone else but this trend of 2:50 long songs needs to be stopped immediately.

album favs: borderline, lost in yesterday, it might be time, is it true, posthumous forgiveness

honorary mentions: onlyoneof - dOra maar, everglow - dundun

march

nct 127 - neo zone (album) ah, yes. the album that fundamentally changed me as a person <3 i’ve been listening to nct for a while, matter of fact i checked my top tracks 2019 playlist on spotify and cherry bomb was on there lol. i remember trying to get into them in 2018 when they released their regular-irregular album but the endless member & unit concept scared me off, so i only listened to a handful of songs without looking into them march 2020, the fateful month in which they released kick it and screencaps of jaehyun’s sexy ass tiddies in the kick it mv landed on my tumblr or twitter and i HAD to look up who this man is…...remember when i thought jaehyun was my ult for like, 2 weeks? me neither, johnny suh only in this house <3

anyway, i checked out this album and by god, is this pure kpop perfection. last time i listened to a god tier no skip album like this was … maybe the perfect red velvet? hype songs, well crafted ballads, love songs that make me wanna learn the lyrics, genuinely fun and interesting pop songs, this album has it all. somehow, the way this album is crafted greatly reminds me of brown eyed girls’ sound-g, it has the same vibe, concept and mix of genres to me, i’m not entirely sure how to explain. anyway, this album is one of my favorites of all time and even though i’ve obsessively listened to it (lastfm says 1.4k scrobbles as of today, december 7th…) i am still not tired of this. i recommend this to anyone who loves kpop tbh, you will have a good time with this!

other than being just a musically solid album, the emotional ties i have with this are …. isabel stop making albums your emotional support 2021 challenge. i’ve listened to this release all spring lockdown, this basically played at every waking hour for all of march and april. the promotion time of this era and lockdown are deeply intertwined for me and so i am always remembered of all the nct content i consumed during that time which inevitably cheered me up so much. this album really means a lot to me :’)

album favs: kick it, mad dog, love song, boom

honorary mentions: itzy - wannabe,

the weeknd - after hours (album) my dear melchanoly, was one of my favorite releases of 2018, so i had been desperate for a new release by abel and boy did he not disappoint. the perfect thotty, dirty emo 80s, making it clap while crying in the club album! this is a no skip from top to bottom and all i can say is that the grammys can go to hell <3 abel aoty! there is really not much i can say about this album, the flawless production, lyrics and sound speak for themself. my only criticism is that i feel overwhelmed by 14 songs, especially when some of them are really long. a few songs greatly overshadow the weaker tracks on the album for me but i still love this to death.

album favs: escape from LA, blinding lights, after hours, faith

dua lipa - future nostalgia (album) after the weeknd’s masterpiece of an 80s inspired pop album i was really looking forward to this. i greatly enjoyed the pre-releases, i played don’t start now and physical up and down, they are still some of my favorite songs released this year! when i first listened to the album i really liked it, songs like boys will be boys or pretty please sound like fillers to be but the rest is solid. yet a month after release you couldn’t catch me listening to this and i cannot even really tell you why. i think it was a combination of the following: 1) i greatly overplayed dsn and physical to the point where i didn’t want more of the pop 80s sound that the album has 2) there were other releases at the time that caught my attention and interest more like neo zone or after hours 3) dua herself….girl….she really gave it her all this year to make herself as unlikeable as possible. nationalist propaganda and the constant traveling during a fucking pandemic were really the kicker. i can barely stand seeing her on my instagram feed anymore, much less listen to her album. her having the nerve to go “we’re in a pandemic lol” when people asked about an animated music video …. if you don’t shut the hell up lmao … also, she takes the crown for the corniest album opener of all time. i nearly closed spotify when i heard future nostalgia (the song) lmao

album favs: don’t start now, physical, levitating, hallucinate

honorary mentions: megan thee stallion - savage

april

apink - dumhdurum (song)

listen, i’m not gonna sit here and pretend like this mini album interested me in the slightest but god, the title is such a banger.i’m so sick, eung eung and dumhdurum are a holy trilogy that i will defend until the end of time! i really hope apink stick to this mature, elegant concept, it suits them so well and goes well with their new sound. come back soon queens <3

rina sawayama - xs (song) i feel like i’m gonna catch some hands here … xs is an absolute banger, the guitar riffs and disruptive sounds really get me going every damn time! but the rest of the album … tell me why it doesn’t catch me?! i literally cannot explain. i need to take an hour, sit down and do nothing but listen to the album from top to bottom once again and see if my thoughts change but right now i only care about xs.

chungha - stay tonight (song) drama! vocals! dance break! choreography! this release served it all. i listened to this obsessively during the time of the release and it still holds up today. can we talk about the run chungha had with gotta go > snapping > stay tonight? lord have mercy.

honorary mentions: april - lalalilala, nct dream - ridin’

may

lady gaga - chromatica (album) the immense disappointment i have in this album is tough to put into words lol. any other artist might have gotten away with this release but gaga having the discography that she has, well … she doesn’t get away with it. this has underwhelming all over it. i enjoyed the pre-releases and my hope was high but the rest just doesn’t live up what i expected, i can’t even say why. it’s just underwhelming pop for someone of gaga’s calibre. i listened to this album during release week and then never again till december to write this list and i can see why.

album favs: rain on me, sour candy ft. blackpink, stupid love

baekhyun - delight (mini album) it’s confession time … this is a name i never would have expected on any of my music lists to end up. exo has always been one of those boy groups i casually listened to. i greatly enjoy their title tracks and a handful of side tracks, i have a few members that i keep an eye on more than others but that’s about it. baekhyun was never one of those members i had any interest in, matter of fact i always thought he was kinda vanilla and boring 😭 i didn’t even plan on listening to this release if it wasn’t for his association with superm and thus nct, so i gave it a shot and we have no choice but to stan. his voice is like butter and can cut sharp at the same time, his versatility is insane. i dived a bit more into baekhyun related content and he is so likeable, it’s almost ridiculous. this production is absolute god tier, not a single skip on this mini. late spring/early summer i had this weird urge to listen to songs with mellow voices but still a banger instrumental and i wholeheartedly blame this release. matter of fact, this album is so good, i had to buy a physical copy. Y’ALL. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. i haven’t bought a kpop album of anyone that’s not holy top 3 (brown eyed girls, loona, nct) in like … idk, 5 years?! baekhyun’s impact. i’m a fan now <3

album favs: candy, r u ridin’?, love again

ak aussenkontrolle - in meinem benz (song) this … is very unrelated to this entirely list but i had to put it on here. i miss my ex boss and our 3 hour drives to meetings in the south of the country where we would blast trashy german rap music </3

nct 127 - neo zone: the final round (repackage) *airhorns* REEEPACKAGE TIIIIIME!!! my first nct era that i experienced from start to finish! i remember watching nct 127’s beyond live with luna where these mfs performed punch and we finished the concert having no idea what this song sounded like. the structure is so unusual and the intro catches me off-guard every time just to hype me up beyond compare. not gonna lie, the fact that johnny has exactly one (1) line hurts but! it’s my favorite line of the entire song! possibly related to the fact that it’s his line but let’s ignore that ….

album favs: punch, make your day

kim woo seok - red moon (song) i’m not even gonna lie to you. i have not a single idea who this man is. you could put him right in front of me and i wouldn’t know … all i know is that he has a banger song. i saw him perform this on a music show that i watched for nct and i ended up loving the song … thanks for your service sir, whoever you are ...

june

stray kids - go live (album) 2020 was kind of the year of boy groups for me, i’m so sorry … stray kids promoted simultaneously with nct 127 so i ended up hearing their title track and holy hell, is that a song. god’s menu is hype from start to finish. it reminds me of good ol’ 2nd gen noise boy group song a lá b*g b*ng fantastic baby. just pure hype and fun noise. i am forever grateful to witness the birth of the line cooking like a chef, i’m a five star michelin. the title track impressed me so much that i ended up checking out the entire album which i rarely ever do with boy groups and what is even rarer is that i enjoyed the b sides lmao!!! it’s not an album that i would put on and just enjoy from start to finish but it has some really solid tracks! this release made me want to keep an eye on stray kids, they seem like a really fun bunch.

album favs: god’s menu, TA, airplane

seventeen - left & right (song) the boy group run continues … same thing with stray kids, seventeen promoted during punch era so i heard their song while watching some music station show for nct and i heard this and was sold. solid, fun pop with the catchiest pre-chorus in history and a banger chorus. i listened to the entire mini and can’t say it really caught my interest so this is a title track only release for me.

dishonorary mentions: twice - more & more (i hate this song so much lol)

honorary mentions: ryu sejeong - tiger eyes, monsta x - fantasia, chloe x halle - do it

july

irene & seulgi - monster (mini) this is a weird release because it’s good. the title track is fun enough, the b sides are dope. but my issue with this is that it’s nothing new. this sounds exactly like a red velvet release. i get that they didn’t want to a  joy, seulgi, irene, yeri release only and went for the sub-unit route instead, but why not be experimental and stray away from the usual sound of the group? also, whoever made monster and not naughty the title track deserves to be spat on. at least the choreography here is more interesting and “experimental” for kpop standards. also, why only a seulgi solo and no irene? i have no idea how reveluvs reacted to this release but this has rushed written all over it.

album favs: monster, naughty (i’m counting this to the mini idc), uncover

exo-sc - 1 billion views (mini) doing my part as a filthy casual exo listener. this release goes in the same category as baekhyun’s delight where i like the album so much that i HAD to get a physical copy. i don’t know what they put in the title track for it to be so diddly darn addictive but it clearly worked. the only bad thing about this release is how criminally mismanaged it was by sm, when i get you lee sooman ...

album favs: 1 billion views, on me, say it

baekhyun - garden in the air (song) i told you i’m a loyal baekhyun fan now <3 king releases and i listen, that’s just how it goes now! this is a cover of a boa song and i really love his version. there is not much to say except that it’s a really smooth song and his voice absolutely carries the track. i enjoyed this much more than i thought i would!

hyoyeon - dessert (song) YOU KNOW WHAT I DESERVE??? DESSERT!!!!!!! *insert tik tok challenge here* imagine if miryo featured on this instead of the ethnic hip girl … why can’t we have nice things. anyway, a banger!

johnny - sunny side up episode 1 set (spotify playlist, actual set) johnny being the skilled, talented, multi-faceted king that he is has been dj-ing since before debut (not me acting like i was around at that time lmao) and thus he decided to bless our quarantined, lockdowned asses with an online dj set! that was the most turned up sunday morning i ever had in my entire life. this set kicked off an edm/house/techno affinity that i had for the following couple of weeks. this set is an absolute banger, i would go insane to this in the club. he has an amazing ear for transitions and drops and i still just put on this set on the regular when i have cleaning to do or so. he could fill the void that rona and thus no clubbing in 2020 left in my heart and i’m so happy he decided to share this with us <3 now … john … sunny side up episode 2 pspspspspsps

honorary mentions: gfriend - apple, jessi - nunu nana

august

cardi b ft. megan thee stallion - wap (song) late summer 2021. we are vaccinated, icu beds are free, barely any new cases, clubs are open, this song plays and i can finally make it fucking clap.

troye sivan - in a dream (mini album) a cute mini album! nothing life-changing or as exciting as previous releases but easy (haha!) to enjoy. i really, really enjoy easy, can always count on troye for a dreamy sound.

album favs: easy

honorary mentions: itzy - not shy

september

wonho - love synonym pt. 1: right for me (mini album) honestly? i know like, 3 monsta x songs. i never bothered to get into them and maybe i never will, but it was difficult to ignore the whole wonho & monsta x mess that went on. i have absolutely no memory of why i decided to check out this release, i guess i was curious what he was going to do and … i was positively surprised lol. open mind is the exact time of song i had been so desperate all summer (remember mellow vocals with banger instrumentals? yeah) and uhm … can’t ignore the obvious … mr wonho is fucking fine. sir, you just gained a fan … now, where is love synonym part 2?? huh?????

album favs: open mind, i just, losing you

joji - nectar (album) this one is on tiktok. i heard gimme love in a bunch of tiktoks and had to look up the song and here we are. what an album! it came right as seasonal depression started to hit and accompanied me for a good chunk of autumn. at this point one has to ask if joji can ever really miss? the entire album is a no skip, it’s almost difficult to narrow down my favorites if my favorites weren’t so damn god tier!!!

album favs: gimme love, ew, tick tock, pretty boy, your man

super m - tiger inside / 100 / drip (songs) okay, listen. technically tiger inside & 100 were already released in august. instead of those three songs i was gonna write about the entire album until i realized i really don’t give a fuck about it 😭 i really only care about those three songs. and YES, i unironically like 100. is it a good song? no. but neither is jopping and that fucking bangs. i don’t turn to superm for life-changing, profound music, i turn to them for a good time LOL and that’s what they deliver every time! that being said, taeyong’s VROOM VROOM, UHMM UHMM, GRRRAHHHH verse is life-changing and profound! speak your truth king! also i wish drip was a b side for nct 127 that song is so damn sexy

taemin - never gonna dance again act 1 (album) this isn’t kpop, this is taemin pop. taemin never misses and the fact that hw*s* won dance performance over taemin is a literal hate crime. i will never forget the industry for this daylight robbery … anyway, nice album!!!!

album favs: criminal, black rose, waiting for

stray kids - in life (repackage) *airhorns* REPACKAGE TIIIIME 2.0!!!! i was on the edge of my seat waiting what stray kids were going to deliver after i greatly enjoyed god’s menu. i was still not over listening god’s menu when the repackage came out so i didn’t listen to it right away and now i greatly regret the few days i could have listened to back door earlier </3

album favs: back door, any

jackson wang - pretty please (song) i’m not gonna pretend like i ever listened to a song by jackson ever before. he is short king from got7 in my head and that’s all! i don’t even remember why i listened to this song but all i know is that it slaps severely. i love the wong kar wai inspired music video and the choreography is fun too! i’m gonna check out more of his music <3

honorary mentions: fromis9 - feel good, knk - ride

october

blackpink - the album (album, duh) i don’t even know what to say about this … this might be the weirdest release on the list for me. there are song i absolutely fucking hate (ice cream …) and songs i get my life to (pretty savage) on here and the discrepancy just gives me massive whiplash. i would never put this album on and listen to the whole body of work, i just cannot with the brain damage it gives me. i am still stuck in 2016, begging for bp to release music like whistle/boombayah/stay/playing with fire but i think i need to give up on that wishful thinking … i am just grateful we a got a title track with actual lyrics in the chrous for once.

album favs: pretty savage, lovesick girls

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 1 (album) this era was … a ride. nct 2020 happening was near inevitable but with covid it got pushed back so far, i started to believe it wasn’t even going to happen. i was semi-terrified of what was going to happen during a comeback with 21 (now 23!!) member group since i only experienced nct 127 comebacks so far and uhh … a LOT happened lmfao but let’s keep this about the album … i had no idea what was going to hit me. johnny having effectively 3 lines in nct 2018 did not give me much hope and after he got denoted to no line treatment in punch again, i was ready to not even have any expectation but this release changed everything. make no mistake that most of my favorite songs are units with johnny, we knew that was gonna happen lmaooo they dropped the teaser video for misfit and i thought i had my favorite song in the bag and then faded in my last song happened. y’all. JOHNNY SINGS? LIKE? ACTUALLY SINGS? DOESN’T GET FORCED TO RAP OR TALK-SING? MY MAN’S VOCALS??? OH MY GAAAAHD! this song is dramatic, theatrical, emo, it serves vocals and rap, it has catchy english and korean lyrics, this is THE song, the ULTIMATE song. i love this song so much, i want to belt it on top of my lungs in the pouring rain. apart from fimls, i also loveeee misfit, that was to be expected after i was going completely insane over the track video. johnny has like 3 lines but again they are iconic (WARNIN’! NCT WE MOBBIN’!) and i just enjoy the track too much to be upset over that. nectar. holy fuck. nectar!!!! wayv never disappoints with their thotty songs, they now have an absolute god tier hoe-ly song trinity with love talk > bad alive > nectar. the first chorus and hendery’s first verse (CHOP CHOP CHOP!) get me every time, this song is so insanely good i am severely upset i cannot sing along to it :( music, dance has nct 127 written all over it in bold letters, it’s so inherently 127’s sound!!!! i love this song so much, it’s so fun, upset and has massive dance-ability, i wish we had gotten a stage for it but i guess you can’t have everything in life </3 make a wish……………………………..the cursed unit. i don’t want to say anything about this except that, unfortunately, the song is fun and i enjoy it. the end. overall, this album is so insanely solid. i know i talk about my favorites A LOT but i genuinely do not dislike a single song on here, this is an absolute no skip album! that’s it. see you for resonance part 2!!!!!

album favs: FADED IN MY LAST SONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, misfit, nectar, music dance, make a wish

loona - 12:00 (mini album) controversial loona release 2.0! i don’t know what it is, but somehow they managed to lace the words di da dam di dam di dam dam dam dam di dam (yeah) with pure crack. i fucking love why not, i would even go as far to say it’s my 2nd favorite title track. that is right, i think it’s better than butterfly (btw: hi high > why not > butterfly > so what). so much was strange this comeback, from the inexplicable concept + teasers, the outfits, the styling (yves….i mourn your hot girl era) but the title track is just SO good, SO fun, SO catchy that i am willing to ignore it all. i also enjoy the b sides much more than on #, they are much more memorable to me. and now … HASEUL RETURN…………….i purely live to see the next loona comeback at this point

album favs: why not, voice, universe

twice - i can’t stop me (song) thank fuck twice released a good song this year. if more & more had been the only 2020 release, that would have been the real tragedy. not gonna lie, i still haven’t listened to the full album, it just keeps slipping my mind. but! i’m going to! until then i’m gonna bop to i can’t stop me.

ariana grande - positions (album) the way this album has people upset is so funny. i am a huge dangerous woman fan myself, it’s my fave ariana album to date but she has said repeatedly that this is not the sound she is striving for. now she has her coin and can do whatever she wants in music and if that is r’n’b then fuck! we have to live with it! lmao! i can live with the sex theme of the album because it’s delivered in a fun way? but it’s getting a bit old...if the next album is about riding dick only too idk how much i would enjoy that. i would probably always come back to ari because i like her voice so much but girl, there are other topics to sing about, i promise! anyway! i like this album, it’s one of those where i can hit shuffle and enjoy it in the background while doing other stuff.

album favs: positions, 34 + 35, love language, my hair, pov

tiny meat gang - sofia (song) ayyy, it’s my meat boys :’) ending the year the same way they started it, with a banger! i absolutely love the guitar instrumental, the melancholic love song type sound paired with the theme of singing about loving a robot … yup, that’s creativity and talent right here! this makes me so freaking desperate for a new ep and i genuinely have no idea how far or close we are to one but!!! i am always waiting!!!

noel - push (ep) this is something i absolutely did not expect. noel (of tiny meat gang!) released his first ep ever and i was absolutely wowed. noel has it all, the voice, the talent, the creativity and all it took him was the confidence to finally put something out and i’m so happy he did. he gets real personal on bus back, more than ever before and i always get a bit emo listening to this track </3 this man is gonna go places and i’m so happy to witness his journey.

album favs: crow, head sunk, bus back

honorary mentions: sam smith - diamonds

november

taemin - never gonna dance again act 2 (album) i’m gonna say it. idea is better than criminal. the chorus drop???? when he goes MY AH AH  MY AH AH MY AH MY IDEA MY MY IDEAAAAAA A-A-A A-A-A???? bitch … tell me you can sit still, i won’t believe you. i like part 2’s title track more, but part 1’s b sides are more interesting to me. either way, taemin delivered as expected!!

album favs: idea, impressionable, exclusive

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 2 (album) part two, baby! we made it! part 2 had more mellow, ballad-y songs with my everything, i.o.u. and all about you, overall less drama than part 1 but i still enjoyed it. work it is one of those controversial songs where you despise it with your entire being or you defend this top tier noise till the end and i am absolutely the latter. the agony of not being able to listen to it and seeing the timeline so divided nearly killed me, but i have concluded that people who hate work it have never felt joy in their life <3 honestly my opinion cannot be counted because i eat up anything johnny participates in … biased ass… what i’m not gonna talk about is resonance (the song), this absolute mess of a “remix”. the audacity sm had to release this as a single is insane. anyway!! this era was a rollercoaster ride. all the interactions truly made me interested in members of other units more. hendery (the rise and fall …), yangyang my beautiful son, jeno aka blue hair guy, chenle the chaos kid and xiaojun after he made make a wish his bitch in particular! all the interactions between the units were so fun to witness and it was fun while it lasted but i am … so glad it’s over lol. i miss nct 127, i miss some peace, i hope the boys get to rest for a bit and so does my bank account.

album favs: work it, 90s love, i.o.u., raise the roof

miley cyrus - plastic hearts (album) not in a thousand years would i have expected a miley release to be on here. this girl does everything to be absolutely unlikeable in my eyes but after severely banging out to her heart of glass cover, i was really excited for this and it did not disappoint. what is disappointing is that it took her so long to find a sound that fits her like a glove. i believe many people miss out on this release after her previous history and i nearly would have done the same. this alt/rock influenced pop does her voice so many favors and i really hope she sticks to this direction, i love this album greatly!!

album favs: heart of glass, midnight sky, night crawling ft. billy joel, wtf do i know

kai - kai (mini album) just. imagine debuting with an album like that. lol. what a god tier big dick move. we all knew whatever this release was gonna be, above all it was going to be sexy and boy were we RIGHT!!!! mmmh is exactly as thotty as i needed it to be and the b sides give me everything from r’n’b to trap. i love this release and i love that it’s only the beginning of kai! like!! he is only gonna gain even more experience and become even more powerful!! what the fuck!!!!!

album favs: mmmh, ride or die, hello stranger, nothing on me

honorary mentions. gfriend - mago

december

nothing? wtf?? 😭 no interesting release happened,,,,half the time i listened to christmas songs anyway lol

pre 2020 releases i only found this year

mgmt - little dark age (album, 2018) & oracular spectactular (album, 2007) another tiktok serve. i found little dark age through a tiktok trend and ended up really liking mgmt. they fit perfectly into my autumn/winter moody alt/rock mood that i had going on and i’m happy they have so much more music that i can check out!

artist favs: little dark age, electric feel, time to pretend

tame impala - currents (album, 2015) everyone’s favorite basic alt bitch album! i enjoyed this more than the slow rush for a good chunk of time, it also fit right into my alt rock autumn mood. i really love this album, like previously mentioned it has my favorite long ass tracks on there but also a good amount of short or medium long tracks. i’m still busy enjoying currents and the slow rush but i can’t wait till i finally take the leap to dive into their other releases because i’m loving everything i’ve heard so far.

album favs: the less i know the better, let it happen, new person same old mistakes

joji - ballads 1 (2018) after liking nectar so much, checking joji out was a given and i just love this album. only when i listened to this i realized i heard slowly dancing in the dark a few times on tiktok lmao that cursed app man … i would say i love nectar a bit more but this is still a fantastic album!!

album favs: slowly dancing in the dark, attention, test drive, yeah right

jus2 - focus (mini album, 2019) in my “mellow moody bangers” phase i was scouring playlists for more songs and i think i found focus on me first which fitted right into the niche i was looking to fill and i ended up enjoy this whole release! only later i realized this is a sub-unit from got7 lmao how come i enjoy solo or unit releases by got7 members but their group discography never interested me? anyway, very sexy ep!

album favs: drunk on you, focus on me, love talk

knk - sunset (song, 2019) part of my mellow bangers playlist. very sexy, i can imagine this as a runway song! i have no idea who knk are but given the fact i enjoyed two of their songs so far maybe i should look into them lol

baekhyun - city lights (mini album, 2019) i am repenting for my sins of missing out on baekhyun releases by consuming his music at an exorbitant rate. un village is one hell of a title track that i didn’t appreciate before, but i feel like in 2020 my music interests started to vary and i love the groovy r’n’b and string sound of this song so much. i also love stay up to death, the vocals baekhyun serves here are unreal. his BABY WE CAN STAY UP!!!!!!! gets me every single time!!!! what a mini!

album favs: un village, stay up

mac miller - swimming (album, 2018) i’ve listened to this album before 2020 but i had the urge to put this on here. this is going to sound so corny, but if i had to pick one song to be my life’s title track, it would be ladders. the hope this song gives me is unreal, it feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. this album is so fantastic, i love the upbeat instrumentals paired with sometimes gloomy lyrics are so incredible, mac was truly one of the greatest artists of our time. this album is  so outstanding and i miss him every day.

album favs: ladders, jet fuel, 2009, self care, perfecto

doja cat - hot pink (album, 2019) i can never decide if i like doja or not but the album slaps lol that’s it come on tiktok queen

album favs: say so, juicy, like that, streets

my fav 2020 playlists

slapping mellow

neo culture technology

malcolm

why go to therapy when this playlist exists?

top songs 2020

(by spotify)

[deadrcbins]

Oneshot Requests! (Bonus: Jeffmads headcanons!)

Yeah, I’m pretty imitable and unoriginal. Sorry, Aaron. Anyway, like a majority of the fandom, I’m making Hamilton one shots! I take requests, I’m great with any angst, no smut, and I’m great with fluff, as well! 

(The cover is John Laurens approved, even though he preferred birds to turtles, the background looked nice.)

SO, onto ships!

I do:

~Jeffmads, since that’s my OTP

~Lams, since it’s also OTP

~Mullette, because it’s OTP in the fandom and in my heart

And literally ANY other ship in the fandom. ANY. If I name them all, I can go on for days!

The exceptions are incest between the Schuylers, and Washette/Whamilton unless there’s no age gap. 

Anyway, thank you so much for reading!

PLEASE NOTE THAT I’LL DO HEADCANONS BEFORE I DO MY ONESHOTS! THANKS!

~

Jeffmads Headcanons:

Let’s start with Madison:

How do they react to a breakup?

James will usually cry a lot and shut himself inside the house for a bit until Thomas comes over and forces him into a Disney movie marathon, complete with ice cream, pillow forts, and a lot of blankets. Of course, this was before Thomas and James professed their undying love for each other. He also becomes very moody and becomes the ULTIMATE emo kid, often dressed in dark and everything. He’ll also contemplate what he did wrong in the relationship and wallow in his self-pity for a bit. This span stretches out for two weeks before he’s back to normal, and so far, he’s only had two breakup episodes.

What would they do if they caught their soulmate cheating?

James’ entire world would crash down. Everything falls out of orbit, and it’d be exactly his worst fear. Thomas is a real good-looking guy...why would he even want to be with James when there are so many other people much more impressive than James? He’d definitely fall into depression. It’d be horrifying for him. Life’s colorful palette would surely turn monotonous. 

Would they leave in the middle of an argument?

No, never. Thomas and James have an envious relationship with each other, and it never becomes that extreme. They’ll talk it out and compromise when it gets to this point. This is quite seldom, though, and over odd issues. 

“Tommy! You’ve burned my favorite pan! Now my omelette won’t taste as good!”

“Buy a new one, then, Jemmy! That YouTube video was so hard to follow!”

Would they make up after a huge argument?

Most definitely. They’re a power couple, a force to be reckoned with!

If James would break up with Thomas, for what reason would it be?

Thomas is too easily jealous of anyone even looking at James the wrong way. He’s a bit clingy, as well. Also, Thomas ends up in a lot of fights with Hamilton, and James gets worried for Thomas’ safety. Gremlin though he may be, he also went to summer military academy, so Hamilton is stronger than he lets on. Thomas has height and build, but can’t channel much of it.

Moving on their S/O?

Jemmy would be horribly depressed, but life has a way of moving on whether you wish to or not. He’ll most likely never find passionate love again, and Thomas remains etched into his memory for life.

Emotions while arguing?

Mostly irritation and annoyance, and afterward, regret and sadness.

How do they and their S/O deal with loss?

It was Thomas who experienced loss, between losing his father at fourteen, and Martha Wayles, his high school sweetheart. James comforted him both times. Madison lost his grandmother to cancer a few years back, and he immediately fell into a grievance for months. His grandmother was his only confidant after Thomas left for Paris, and it disheartened him greatly. He’d never felt so alone in the world, and on top of that, while Thomas was gone, James’ parents pressured him in the first place to go to that highly competitive boarding school for the gifted and talented. He developed his anxiety and anxious introvertedness (Is that a word?) that would plague him for quite a while after. He fears not being good enough, and he constantly feels incompetent and unimportant, despite Thomas’ protests. He kept a secret from Thomas. He tried to take his own life. He stopped hurting himself after Thomas and James got together. 

Biggest regret? 

James’ biggest regret was not being able to maintain the best relationship with his grandmother, who was the one pillar in his life, as he lived with her for two years while James’ parents sent him off to school two hours from there, in the same town Gramma lived. 

Thomas’ Headcanons:

How do they react to a breakup?

Thomas has only been in two relationships before James. Before he met Martha, there was this girl named Sally who dumped Thomas for someone named William Clark. He was depressed, quiet, reserved, and sad for a week with Sally gone, and he was horribly self conscious about his tics, he was fidgety, too. It was horribly out of character, and even Hamilton bought Jefferson a cupcake. He compared himself to everyone else for ages after that. Luckily James was great at comforting, and he was so kind to Thomas afterwards. James made Thomas Mac ‘N’ Cheese and they both pranked Hamilton secretly just for fun, He bottles his emotions until the last day of his phase, then cracks. The next day, he’s back to normal.

Would they ever leave in the middle of an argument?

Again, no, never. Thomas might get stressed out trying to compete with Hamilton at work and work itself, and/or might have had a bad day occasionally, so he’ll be extra moody those days. James knows that he’s anxious about something, so he tries to give Thomas space those days, often reading or watching TV or doing something quietly until he cools off.

Would they make up after an argument?

Most definitely. Thomas is a little puppy. He’ll always come back, loyal and a tad clingy. They enjoy talking out their issues and compromise. 

If Thomas were to break up with James, for what reason would it be?

Thomas loves James and you cannot convince anyone otherwise. Cons

Moving on from their S/O?

Thomas actually had to do this with Martha. In the beginning, it was difficult, and he fell down a vortex of emotions, feelings he wasn’t used to feeling, and like with Sally, Hamilton tried his hardest to console Thomas so that they could fight again. Thomas hates being alone, and losing James as well...it’s unimaginable.

Emotions while arguing:

First, it’s annoyance and irritation, then guilt and sadness. 

How do they and their S/O deal with loss?

It was Thomas who experienced loss, between losing his father at fourteen, and Martha Wayles, his high school sweetheart. James comforted him both times. He likes to keep it private, you won’t even know he cried. Mostly his way of accepting is helping and comforting other people, and shuts his emotions and mourns privately.

What is their biggest regret?

Not getting to say goodbye to his father and Martha, who both died in car crashes. Martha died, she was going with her friend Merida, who survived, on their way to A La Mode, and Peter, Randolph, and Thomas were involved in a car crash the year before, after coming back from a guys’ day out fishing trip. He feels he distracted the drivers both times and deaths were his fault, though it wasn’t. Thomas rode shotgun, giving him his cane, and Randolph had his spleen removed. Elizabeth, their sister who had autism and brain trouble, went crazy after hearing of the crash and refused to sit in a car. They give her Benadryl or sleep medicine. now for necessary trips. A secret Thomas kept from James was that he failed a suicide attempt, but doesn’t self-harm anymore after James and himself got together. Little did he know, while he was in France...James, ever depressed, tried the same thing.    

[lefaystrent]

Everyone's talking about Virgil Angst but meanwhile I'm sitting here thinking about Roman because like?? Presumably he's on Broadway right? And to wake up finding you're a known broadway star has to be a dream come true even if it's jarring that suddenly finding yourself so much older. But like Roman has no memories of the years between hs and now. He wakes up, finds he's performing in a show that very day. bUT NOT ONLY THAT, it's a new show, one he's never heard of so he has no lines 1/?

no lyrics, noblocking memorized. And he's expected to perform. So a thespian's nightmareright there. Maybe for extra Angst points the understudy is out sick. Or hejust forces himself to perform, not wanting to disappoint or miss this"chance" to be on Broadway. Either way it doesn't go well and Romanis left with his spirits crushed and still completely lost as to how he endedup in the future. 2/2

Back to theFuture, part II

Fandom: Thomas Sanders,Sanders Sides

Pairings: platonic LAMP

Word Count: 2620

Masterlist Link

_______________________

Roman wakes up with a pillow beingthrown at his face.

“Chop, chop! Time to go.”

Roman groans, “Is it time forschool already?”

The person laughs.

It’s then that Roman realizes thatit’s neither of his parents, nor one of his friends who would sometimes sleepover.

Roman sits up, shirtless but that’susual. What’s not usual is the man fixing his hair in the mirror of a largevanity table.

“Who are you?” Roman asks,instantly suspicious. He snatches up a hair brush that’s lying on the bedsidetable, wielding it like a sword. “Where am I? What do you want with me?”

The man meets his eyes in themirror, sees something funny, and rolls his eyes with a laugh. “Alright, Mr.Big Shot. Save the acting for the stage. We’re gonna be late if you don’t hurryup and get dressed. And Dot will have both of our asses if we’re late foropening night.”

Opening night?

Stage?

Cute guy?

Oh, this had to be a dream.

Roman was good at dreams.

“Very well then. Wouldn’t want todisappoint all of my adoring fans, would I darling?” Roman boasts, to which theguy snorts and tells him to hurry up again.

Roman slips away and finds thebathroom. He’s debating whether or not to snap his fingers and conjure up amagnificent outfit. That is, until he catches a glimpse of himself in themirror.

He screams like he’s in a horrormovie, which maybe he is.

“What—what’s wrong?” the no-nameguy from earlier yells, banging on the bathroom door but Roman had locked it.

“I’M OLD!!!”

He’s over thirty now, and to a guywho was just seventeen yesterday, that’s pretty old my dude.

Frantic, Roman throws open thebathroom door and demands, “What magic did you cast on me?”

“What?”

“My face! Look at it!” Roman screeches,looking into the mirror once again and rubbing at his face as if the signs ofaging would disappear. “I mean, I’m still gorgeous, BUT I’M OLD!!!”

The guy looks at him like he’scrazy, which maybe he is but wow, no need to judge. “Uhhhh, are you going througha mid-life crisis right now? Because can you do that later? When, ya know, wedon’t have somewhere to be?”

“I was just seventeen yesterday,”Roman tells his reflection mournfully.

“Okay, if this is the kind ofbaggage Roman Prince has, remind me not to sleep with him again.”

Roman chokes at that.

“E-excuse me? We did what?!”

“Just cut the crap already,” theguy grunts and leaves. “I’ll be waiting outside,” he calls before a door slamsclosed.

Roman is left alone with hisreflection.

He snaps his fingers, but nothinghappens.

He gives a grin anyway. “Just gottaget into the swing of things is all.”

*

Roman meets the guy outside. Hedoesn’t bother asking for his name, since it’s not important to the dreamanyway. And really, this isn’t unlike a lot of Roman’s other dreams. Waking upto a cute guy? Check. Performing in a Broadway musical? Check.

Being the headlining actor for saidBroadway musical?

Super big check.

They’re in the theater now, andRoman is smiling and greeting a bunch of people who seem to know him. He goesalong with whatever they’re saying. He runs into the director Dot that theno-name guy mentioned earlier. And somewhat confusingly, he finds his dressingroom. It’s amazing and wonderful and in such detail, and sitting on the chair bythe dressing table is the script they’re performing tonight. Roman picks it upwith a wide grin.

He nearly drops it.

He’s the headlining actor for aplay he’s never even heard of.

Okay. Okay, okay okay.

Roman is in his dressing room—HISDRESSING ROOM ON BROADWAY. This whole place is designed by him to work how hepleases. If he just looks away and looks back again it’ll change—

Nope, that didn’t work. He squintsdown at the font, hoping to place the title.

“A New Lease on Life.”

From a skim through it’s somethingabout a parasitic demon trapped in the body of a magically gifted human?Roman’s character is the parasite.

“I know musicals are weird, butwhat in the name of Julie Andrews,” Roman says to himself.

But this is a dream. It’s okay. Hecan just…get up on stage and have the time of his life!

That’s not how it happens though.They do last minute run throughs. Roman is not magically landing the lines.Hell, he doesn’t even know them! The director yells at him to stop messingaround, and Roman is honestly hurt and disoriented enough to start crying rightthen.

But this is supposed to be hisdream! He can’t cry. He’s a Broadway actor! He’s got this!

*

Remember when he said ‘he’s gotthis’?

Yeeaaah . . .

The evening is upon them, theaudience files in, and Roman is standing on stage with no clue as to what he’sdoing.

He skimmed the script earlier,curious because usually he couldn’t read things in his dreams. He says thelines he remembers, but he misses a cue, and then the actor who’s playing therole of the character he’s possessing hisses under their breath what his lineis. It’s appreciated, but Roman can’t hear it over the thundering roar in hisears. The audience is waiting for something incredible to happen and Roman . ..

Roman’s waiting too.

*

This isn’t one of Roman’s dreams.

This is a nightmare.

Roman is a deer caught in theheadlights. He’s sweating and breathing so loudly that surely the audience musthear it. The lights are too bright and he’s standing on the edge of the stagein the middle of what’s supposed to be this sinister monologue.

This isn’t working. He just needsto take a breath, take a step back, listen more carefully to his costar’s constanthissing, and maybe things will get back on track.

Roman’s leg buckles when he triesto move it. He’s too close to the edge of the stage. He thinks for a momentthat he can catch himself, but his palms are slick with sweat and he slipsright over. He lands on his back, the wind knocked out of him, and he doesn’tremember much after that.

He wakes up, not in his bedroom athome but in his Broadway dressing room. Someone’s there, someone that Romandoesn’t recognize.

“Sloan picked up where you leftoff,” she says. She’s looking at Roman with pity.

“Sloan?” he questions. In thedistance, he can hear the muffled noises of the show going on.

She looks pissed off now. “Youknow, your understudy? Maybe if your head wasn’t shoved up your ass all thetime, you’d remember the names of us little people.”

She storms out of the room.

Roman lets his head thump back downon the bench someone laid him on.

He could wallow in his misery. Hecould let this nightmare beat him down. He could curl up and have himself anice cry. Princes are made for bawls after all.

“Sorry, but this prince has toleave before midnight,” he says.

He hops up to his feet. His headhurts and there’s a painful twinge in his leg and arm from where he must havefallen on them. But he can still move. He has to.

Roman turns his back on Broadway togo search for answers.

As he’s walking down the sidewalk,he ignores the busy city life. He pulls out his phone, immediately searchingfor his emo sidekick’s number.

He doesn’t find it.

What he does find though areseveral missed calls from Patton.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” hequotes. He calls Patton up.

“Roman?!” Patton answers after thefirst ring.

“Hey Padré! I hope you’ve got sometime to chat because you will not believe where I am right now!”

*

Roman was all the way in New York.

That’s a little more than a carride from Florida.

Logan had known that Roman became aBroadway star. He’d even told Roman that he would one day become one, but thatwas back in high school when Roman was an upset seventeen-year-old and Loganwas an eleven-year-old kid who knew too much. The news might have given Romansome form of comfort when he was figuratively down, but he certainly hadn’tbelieved it as Logan foretelling the future.

When Logan woke up as twenty-nineagain—after the initial freaking out period—he decided to contact his friendsto test a hypothesis. He needed to encounter someone who he’d never been affiliatedwith before in his future time, people like Roman, Virgil, and Patton.

Roman was too far off however. Notto mention it’d prove difficult to request a celebrity’s time, one that wasn’tsupposed to know you.

And Logan did doubt that any ofthem knew him. He suspected that he hadn’t been pushed forward through time butreplaced back into his own time, a timeline separate from the past one he’dbeen in. Nothing in his house had changed, no signs of his friends. No texts orcontacts on his phone to match.

So Logan searched for the othertwo. Virgil proved to be all but nonexistent upon his initial online researching.Patton immediately garnered results.

“An advice columnist,” Logan hadsaid to himself, unable to smother down the smile that tugged up his lips.Patton had made quite a name for himself in northern Florida. He’d been hostedseveral times on talk shows and was working on promoting his second self-helpbook that had recently released.

Logan had set off to find Patton,and find him he did.

And Patton . . . Patton had rememberedhim.

And even though Logan felt trulysorry that this disorienting situation caused his friend a great deal ofdistress, he couldn’t help but feel a wash of relief knock into him at the factthat his friend was still his friend. That those memories weren’t worthless ora vivid dream.

And then, once they had workedthrough establishing the existence of time travel, Patton suggests that theothers might be in the same boat.

“What boat? We’re not in a boat.”

“Figure of speech, Lo,” Pattonsmiles a little, despite himself.

If he and Patton are here afterjumping through time, it’s not impossible that Roman and Virgil could be thesame.

“They might not be here,” Logansuggests, swallowing down a sharp feeling of disappointment. “Whatever happenedto us, they may not have been a part of it.”

“Or they might have,” Patton pushesstubbornly. He can see the same hope welling in him, the same selfish desire tonot be alone. “We’re always hanging out together. They might have . . . gottencaught up in it? Whatever it is.”

“. . . and you already tried callingRoman?”

Patton tries all day. Logan wandersthe house a lot, investigating what kind of person Patton grew up to be. It’s .. . interesting to say the least, seeing his friend who had previously been ateenager suddenly as a grown adult, older than himself at that. Logan pondersover whether Patton feels the same amount of puzzlement. Although, Patton doesn’tseem to be interested in much that requires moving from the couch.

Ever since Logan theorized them notbeing friends in this timeline, Patton has become lethargic. Logan is ill-preparedto deal with this kind of Patton.

That night, Logan hears Patton’sphone ring. Logan doesn’t pay it much mind. The phone had been ringing off andon ever since Patton had run away from work that morning. Logan continues to pokearound the kitchen, relishing his normal body and the height that allows him toeasily reach into the tall cabinets.

“Roman?!” Patton screams from theliving room.

Logan immediately abandons any notionof dinner.

“Did he call you?” Logan blurtsout, racing into the room. It’s an unnecessary question, because what elsecould have happened? Patton waves his hand at him to shush him.

“Where are you kiddo? Are you okay?”Patton asks. He clutches the phone to his ear with both hands as if he couldhold Roman there.

Impatient, Logan sits right besidePatton and leans in to eavesdrop.

“Where else would a star like me beother than Broadway?”

Yes, that’s Roman’s proud voicefiltering through.

“Broadway?” Patton repeats, lookingat Logan questioningly.

“He’s in New York,” Logan affirms.

“What is he doing there?” Pattonasks.

“Is someone else there?” Roman interrupts.“You’re talking to someone else when you have me on the phone?”

“Sorry, Ro. I was just talking to—um . . .”

“To?”

“To, um . . . Logan.”

“Oh, well tell that nerd that I’mon Broadway and I’m fabulous, even if I am old now.”

Patton and Logan share a look.

Logan pries the phone out of Patton’shold and puts it on speaker. “You remember who I am?”

“Who? Wait, who’s that?”

“That’s Logey, kiddo.”

“That doesn’t sound like the littletwerp I know. Wait, is he super old now too? Are we all old geezers? Man, thisis a really weird dream.”

“Yes, it’s me. Yes, we’re older,”Logan answers. At least Roman is understanding the situation they’ve beendropped in. “Roman, I need you to answer a couple of questions for me please.”

“If I’m older now, why do I have toput up with more study sessions from you?”

“This isn’t school-related, Roman.”

“Please, Ro. It’s important,”Patton urges.

“Fiiine, if you must.”

“Did you wake up today in anunfamiliar setting with no memory of how you got there?”

“Yeah? Nothing too unusual.”

“How—how is that not unusual foryou?”

“Happens all the time in dreams,duh. Use that big brain of yours, Jimmy Neutron—wait, you’re not a kid geniusanymore. I’m going to have to come up with new nicknames. Not to worry, I’mgreat at improvising!”

Great at ignoring reality as wellit seems.

“Um, Roman?” Patton prompts. “Whatdo you mean by dreams?”

“This isn’t a dream,” Loganpresses.

“What else could it be?” Romanlaughs, and it doesn’t matter that the sound is slightly distorted through thephone. Both Logan and Patton can tell that there’s something off about it.

“Roman, that’s not—” Patton starts,but Logan cuts him off.

“Roman, do you have Virgil’scontact saved perhaps?”

“No, I don’t actually. Weird,right? Oh, I know! He must be hidden away from us in a tall tower in amonster-filled forest. Never fear, we shall rescue our emo in distress!”

Patton bites his lip, staring atLogan. “He doesn’t have his number either? What does it mean, Logan?”

“It could mean that Virgil doesn’thave a phone,” Logan tries, but neither of them buys it.

“Virge . . .” Patton whispers, eyeswelling up.

Logan focuses back on the phone.Roman keeps asking if they’re still there. “Yes, we’re here. And that soundslike an excellent idea, Roman. Why don’t you meet up with us here in Floridaand we’ll brainstorm a plan of action in order to locate Virgil.”

“Can do!”

Later, after Logan has helped Romango over how to book a plane ticket (“No Roman, you can’t just teleport here.Think of this as a . . . side quest, like in the video games you like.”), heends the call and turns to Patton. Patton’s sitting there, arms wrapped aroundhis legs and face buried in his knees.

“We’ll find out what happened tohim,” Logan tells him.

Patton doesn’t respond.

_____________________________

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