#and he will sit and watch the live concerts and be like they truly do not make music like this anymore

[sembulapeyalneerpol]

me telling my dad about literally any artist

my dad: but are they ilaiyaraaja? *gets up to play manguyile poonguyile*

[wormdebut]

17

Hi there anon! Thank you for your number! #17 on my Spotify Wrapped is 18+ by Scene Queen. This song is actually very fucking personal to me. I won't go into detail but fuck shitty dudes in shitty rock bands doing shitty things. ON THAT NOTE this blurb is truly a bunch of Steve being heart eyes at his rockstar husband but TW for mention of shitty rock dudes in shitty rock bands being shitty. (NOT Eddie or Corroded Coffin whatsoever) Nothing is explicit but take care of yourselves always. ----

"No. I don't care if it's true or not, Steph! The second some shitty fucking allegations come out like that? They're off my fucking tour. No questions asked. If someone says Greg fucked around then I'm sure as hell, not keeping him around long enough for it to happen again."

Steve hadn't planned on waking up to Eddie screaming down the line to his manager, but alas--such is the life of a being a rock god's husband. Steve runs his hand over his eyes and zeroes in on Eddie pacing their hotel room.

"--multiple allegations Stephanie! No way in hell. They're just the opening act. I'll talk to the guys, we will extend our set. I'll talk to Chrissy and she'll extend her act too. Call that asshole's manager and tell them that we are dropping them." Eddie huffs and Steve isn't entirely sure what's going on but Eddie is red with anger.

"Baby." Steve breathes out, just to let Eddie know he's joined the land of the living. Eddie head snaps over to look at Steve, and he smiles--it's a small thing, but it makes Steve's insides feel all warm and fuzzy, cause even when Eddie is so clearly fuming Steve can help him feel at least a little bit better.

Eddie sighs, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, I got so heated Steph, just take care of this, please? I want them off the tour. Yeah okay--alright. Yeah--" Eddie laughs, "Sure, Steph, I'll tell him. Okay. Thank you. Talk soon." Eddie pulls out his airpod and throws it on the table.

"You know you'll lose 'em if you don't put them back in the case like a normal sane person, baby." Steve says, as he sits up in bed.

Eddie walks over to him and burys his face into Steve's neck. "I'm not a normal sane person, princess." Eddie mumbles from his hiding spot and Steve runs a hand through his hair.

"So…" Steve starts, "did you wanna--talk about whatever that was?" Eddie groans into Steve neck before pulling back.

"I fucking hate shitty ass rock dudes being fucking gross as hell and I won't allow gross ass shitty ass nasty ass posers anywhere near our fan base." Eddie spits and Steve just nods. Eddie continues, "Our opener? A bunch of fucked up shit came out about them and I refuse to let bullshit like that anywhere near the space that Corroded Coffin has crafted over ten fucking years."

Steve can't help but smile at that. Eddie prided himself on creating a place where his fans could be themselves, go to a concert and feel safe. He felt ridiculously proud of his husband. He says as much and Eddie scoffs--not at Steve, he knows, but he scoffs all the same.

"I appreciate that babydoll, but it's not about me. It's about keeping people safe." Eddie says and Steve nods. He's still proud of him, regardless.

——

Steve stands backstage watching as Eddie's best friend finishes up her set and feels arms wrap around his waist. He smiles leaning back into Eddie's (very naked--aside from a leather harness) chest and Eddie plants a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

"God, what if I just stay here and hold you all night instead of performing." Eddie whispers into Steve ear and while that does sound tempting--

"I don't think this very sold out venue of metal heads would be too pleased with me." Steve looks up and fuck, his rock star husband is the prettiest. He leans up to press a quick kiss to his lips. He can't get over this morning, how quick Eddie was to drop a shitty band without a second thought to keep people safe.

Steve turns around in Eddie's arms and wraps his arms around him, squeezes.

"I'm proud of you Eds. I'm always fucking proud of you, but thanks for keeping these people's scene as safe as you can."

Eddie looks at him, with stars in his kohl-lined eyes. "I love you baby, you know that right?"

Steve leans up to kiss him again. "Yeah, darling, I know. And I love you."

Eddie kisses him one more time before stepping back, just in time for Chrissy to come running from the stage. She looks from Eddie to Steve and then back to Eddie with a big manic grin. "The crowd is fucking nuts tonight Eds. You gonna say something?"

Eddie smirks at that. "Of course I am. If I'm not screaming lyrics, I'm screaming about something else." They all laugh at that and the stage lights go dark, Eddie leans down again to plant a kiss to Steve's temple, whispering a quick 'love you', before heading out to the stage.

Chrissy grabs a water bottle and leans back against a beam to watch Eddie and the band from side stage with Steve, like they do every night.

After the opening song Eddie surveys the screaming crowd.

"You sound fucking amazing Orlando. But, before we get into this next song I have something I need to fucking say--If you ever see shitty ass rock dudes in shitty ass rock bands asking you to show them your tits for backstage passes, I want you to spit right in their fucking faces and yell FUCK YOU!"

The crowd goes wild as Eddie preaches about safety in the scene and Steve can't help but fucking grin. He's pretty damn proud of his man.

[amethystblackkchaos]

I’m In Control (18+ NSFW)

Warnings: Sex,Language

WC: 1.8k

You Don’t Know How you Got here it was all a blur one second you were at the lady Raven concert and the next your in the living room of some house you have no idea who the fuck it is. Mind Hazy Just moving a bit everything is blurry you felt like you were drugged or something.

Last Thing You Remembered was you were leaving the concert venue into a limo when some tall guy hovered over you.

Dizzy and unfocused your eyes were adjusting to the light of the house standing up you see the door you go walk towards it rubbing your eyes to see someone standing their with a butcher knife. You weren’t scared at all He was handsome tall with a great build. He Starts walking towards you slowly trying to intimidate you but it wasn’t going to work.

No man ever intimidated you it just wasn’t a Thing. He Smirked as he walked to stand behind you he then pushed back your hair a bit “I Know you know who I am so please don’t try anything I’m In control” he says into your ear you were practically dripping from his words your cunt so wet from the depths of his voice trickling into your eardrum the sweet sound of his voice truly made you insane. You Turn Around pushing cooper back into the wall hard “No you listen to me I’m in control now cooper” you go to slap him as he grabs your wrists twisting you around back into the wall on the other side.

“Yeah well I’m gonna take back control” he snapped as he gripped your waist tightly with one hand on your wrist. Cooper let go of your wrists as he let go of you. Your chest was pressed up against the wall while he chest was pressed right against your back. Cooper ran his hands up your waist pulling off your shirt as you raised your arms up a bit as your boobs fell out of your shirt you didn’t have a bra on today.

“See When I’m In control you do what I say so that way I won’t kill you sweetheart” he moaned into your ear pulling down your skirt as you stood their half naked.

“Oh So you won’t kill me than cooper” the tension of his words had you dripping you wanted him to have your way with you so bad.

“No I’m not going to kill you I’m going to ruin you” he whispered into your ear. “Hmm is that right Cooper your going to ruin me” you mocked him as his hands went up to your thighs you let out a soft moan. Coopers hand slapped your ass left it stinging “listen to me and turn around sweetheart” he said in a demanding tone you nodded and understood what he was saying and turned towards him. His eyes were staring right at your tits. You eye cooper down as he helped you slip off your skirt you were wearing a red thong he noticed and smirked at you. “Cooper You need to take your sweater off now I’m sick and tired of looking at you with that on” you said in a sassy voice.

Cooper obliged lifting off his sweater looking as his huge muscles were right in front of you his big chest and muscular frame turned you on so much apparently but now neither of you are in control. “Better Now that I’m shirtless now huh” his snarky attitude he had you rolled your eyes at him. “Well If You say so now we’re both practically naked… so your not gonna kill me then Cooper or are you just gonna fuck me” you tilted your head at him as you stood there naked right in front of him.

Cooper Grabbed the side of your thong pulling it hard as it snaps back onto your Skin “Ow Cooper do you like seeing me in pain” you moaned as you walked toward the stairs. “I Love seeing you In pain it turns me on” he smirks slapping your ass as you head up stairs.

You Got To Coopers room And Jumped onto his bed as he just stood there staring at you admiring how sexy and beautiful you are. “Take Off Your Pants Cooper” you motioned he couldn’t get them off any quicker you needed his cock in your throat immediately. Cooper Joined you on his bed sitting on his knees the bed sunk heavily from how big he is. Just Cooper Hovering Over You made you insane you wanted him to crush you immediately.

You watched as cooper let his pants fall down his huge cock sprung out the tip of his head was leaking he was dripping onto the sheets. Staring at his head you licked your lips staring him in his eyes as you crawl a little bit over to him. Cooper didn’t let you get a chance to grab him he pulled you by the waist with his big hands pushing you onto your stomach and pulling you back by your knees so you were right in front of him. “Fuck Cooper” you groaned

You were helpless for a second when he dragged you across the bed you enjoyed it and didn’t care that he man handled you. Cooper dragged his hands right down your back the goosebumps raised on your back as he slowly pulled off your thong he kept his face right next to your ass as he took in the scent of your sweet cunt. You arched your back as he pulled off your thong he threw it away from the bed.

“Gosh Your Such a Slut look at you” Cooper slapped your bare ass as he pulled you back his cock lining up to fuck you “See who’s in control now darling” he mumbled into your ear as you felt his cock enter you. Pushing your hips back into him more helping him slide his cock inside you easier. You knew cooper wasn’t gonna be easy on you he was going to ruin you with all that pent up rage as he slides his cock deep inside you. He started off with slow deep thrusts your walls tightening the faster he got.

Cooper pulls your hair tightly back As he thrusts his cock faster inside you. “So Tight for me huh”Cooper grunts as he goes even faster. Getting every inch of his cock slamming your hips back as you really take it. Your back arched as his hands dragged down your back as he watched your slick cover his cock “Fucking Faster” you moan looking back at him as you see his hair in front his eyes god he looked so sexy. “You look so good like this” cooper said heavy breathing as he kept pounding you from the back. Every deep thrust kept taking you to the edge you needed more “please don’t ever stop cooper” he picked up speed slapping your ass again but harder “Look at you taking this cock like a slut” cooper loved watching his cock going in and out of you getting messy and worked up.

Cooper managed to take his cock out of you strings of cum dripping down the side of his cock he pulled you up flipping you over on top of him so you straddled him “Getting a bit rough now huh cooper” you giggled he wasn’t having time to play games as his cock quickly re entered you. Sitting in cowgirl as you bounced up and down on it your tits in his face as he started sucking them. “Gosh look at you” he mumbled the stimulation to your nipples and riding him felt so good his hands found their way to your hips as he helped you fuck him slamming up and down even harder his cock hitting the perfect angle as you arched your back a bit “Ow” you whine as hit bite your nipple.

Coopers hands forcing you down onto his cock as your hands rest on his shoulders leaning forward for some leverage. So much cum was spilling out the wet sounds of his cock going in and out of you making so much noise. His cock going at a super fast pace the angle of his cock hitting your cervix over and over again your body trembling you needed more of it. “Ugh gonna make sure you feel all my cum inside you” cooper said into your ear “Yeah I’m your perfect little cum slut” you moan into his ear “Yes Your my little slut taking this cock” he bit your ear as you didn’t stop riding him.

Cooper swiftly picked you up as your legs around his waist he kept his cock inside you soaked laying you on your back so he could see your stomach. Your fingers clawed into his back as you were chest to chest he let you fall back a bit. Facing cooper as he put his big hands onto your stomach. “Gonna make sure you squirt for me” he said as he lifted your hips up “Fuck Cooper just ruin me” your eyes rolled as he drew his cock out and slammed back into you. Coopers thumb made his way to your clit rubbing it in circles with one hand going fast as he pounded into you hard. Your walls constricting coopers cock the faster he fucked you and your cum spilling out all over he didn’t let up as you whined. White ring of cum sat at the bottom of his cock you were getting ruined “so messed up going dumb on my cock like this” cooper was shooting his thick cum deep inside you.

He didn’t stop at all with your cunt throbbing soaked his thumb worked your clit then switched to his pointer finger and middle finger rubbing circles around your clit faster your slick all over his fingers. “Gosh your such a mess look at you” Your puffy clit so worked up the huge knot in your stomach needed to be released. “Look how much I control you like this you gonna squirt for me sweetheart”Cooper said panting in his deep voice that made you cum even more. The pressure of cooper rubbing your clit and pounding his cock into your drenched cunt was putting you over the edge “Fuck cooper “ you yell as he presses harder the contractions of your cunt we’re getting higher as you felt the need to release you couldn’t hold it any longer as he picked up the pace even faster you start squirting all over his cock spilling out everywhere “goddamn it” you whine as cooper holds his cock inside you filling you up your cum mixing with his.

It was so messy but worth it coopers cock was drenched and you were breathing very heavy “So messy just for me” as he slaps your pussy. You wince from his touch from the overstimulation “Are You Ready for me to do it again?” Cooper smirked at you as you fall back “Ummm Yes?”

TAGS : @hibiskooks @hereforthehitsbaby @lustskitty69 @waywardtigersandwich @lilly3434 @babygorewhore @thebutchersbitch @pinastrihaven @cryobabyy @ratcatcher2world @one-of-thewalkingdead @rottenangel @dirtylittlefairytales

Link To Masterlist

[sammysficfactory]

AOT Men’s Favorite Throwback R&B/Soul Songs pt.2

Feat. Ony, Reiner, and Connie

read pt.1 here

Reiner Braun

Let’s Stay Together by Al Green

reiner is a simple man

and his love for you simple too

he loves you to the ends of the earth…it’s that simple

Sitting at a long table with your now husband, a familiar melody begins spilling out of the speakers and he gives you a knowing smile.

“You wanna dance, Mrs. Braun?” He suggests, standing and offering you his hand. You chuckle and place your hand in his and stand, making your way towards the dance floor. You looked absolutely gorgeous in your long white dress, your back to his chest as he sung the lyrics softly in your ear. The moment is even more intimate when kisses your temple and whispers in your ear.

“You look so beautiful, sweetheart. I love you so much.” You can hear the smile in his voice.

“I love you too, I’m glad we’re getting married.” You reply, turning in his arms to face him. You kiss him softly, allowing yourself to bask in the loving and warm atmosphere of your wedding.

it’s an old song

but it definitely explains how much he loves you

like the song said

he’s tryna be with you when times are good, bad, happy, and sad

i love him down

Connie Springer

Can You Stand The Rain by New Edition

you know that connie is dramatic

he knows he’s dramatic

so it makes total sense when he gives you a performance to this song

The drums and familiar melody of New Edition filled your bedroom as your boyfriend Connie pushed the door open, phone in hand as he begins singing to you.

“Con, go ‘head somewhere! I’m tryna nap!” You scold him, but you can’t deny your poorly suppressed smile and how entertaining he was. Ignoring your protests, he hops onto your shared bed and pulls you by the legs closer to him. You yelp in surprise before swatting at him, wanting him to leave you alone. He shakes his head, a goofy smile plastered on his face as he disturbs your peace entertains you.

like he truly does the most

after he’s done he just stands there breathing heavily

acting like he’s actually part of new edition and was at a concert

he gets upset when you don’t clap

probably sucks his teeth at you when you ask for something

Onyankapon

All The Things (Your Man Won’t Do) by Joe

oh my GOD i love me some ony

i hc that he can SANG

and he LOVES slow dancing with you

For you and your beloved boyfriend, cleaning day was every other Sunday. The two of you would try (and mostly fail) to wake up early, play some old R&B and soul music, and get to cleaning. When the song plays, the two of you are cleaning up the living room. Ony slides behind you and wraps his hands around your waist, leaning down and kissing your shoulder as the two of you sway from side to side and he sings to you.

“Have I told you how much I like when you sing to me?” You ask. He nods with a chuckle, you tell him all the time how much you love his voice.

“You never miss the chance princess.” He teases, kissing your cheek. He takes the broom out of your hand and spins you around to face him. His brown eyes examine your face with an overwhelming amount of love and adoration for you. He leans in, placing a soft and slow kiss on your lips.

“I love you.” He smiles at you before smacking your butt and reluctantly letting you go.

“Now let’s finish cleaning so we can chill.” He says, you whine and lightly scold about him being heavy handed and rub at your butt as you snatch the broom from his hands.

“Watch it, Y/N.” He warns.

ony is a man of few words

but he always knows what to say

my man my man my man

[soothinglee]

even if my heart stops beating⏤✰

seungmin x reader | 1.6k✔︎

my notes⎯ hello everyone ! I know it's been a while since I've actually wrote something ! I actually got hit by a bus! yeah I had to sue this company called "writers block" and I finally got a settlement! (also happy new year!) I recently (like a week ago) got into Kpop, specifically Stray Kids ! I've read some fan fictions (shameless) about some of my favorites and got inspo to write one! thank you @soobnny . also I haven't wrote anything in a while so i'm a little rusty, i'll be as good as new soon!

warning⎯ mentions of vomit (used as word vomit) and crying.

genre⎯ angst to comfort.✔︎

songs⎯ six feet under; billie eilish | pretty boy; the neighborhood

the old rusted clock that came with the condo you and seungmin bought sits perched on the top of the fridge. Its old, wooden frame slowly caves in on itself as time goes on.

not even an hour or two ago you had happily entered your home to start cooking dinner, not even worrying about showering first because you were so excited to have dinner with your boyfriend.

even going out of your way to spend a hundred dollars over the amount you usually spend to give seungmin the greatest 'welcome home' feast. he and the rest of stray kids had been on tour for the last couple months, traveling all over the world to perform at concerts and do collaborations with other idols to promote their new albums.

sure, it had been lonely, being by yourself all of the time, the only glimpse of your boyfriend you could get is when he could facetime you for 2 minutes or when he responded back to a text 4 hours later. but you understood, you knew what you were getting yourself into even when you started becoming friends with him.

if anything, you were strong, understanding, and flexible to when he couldn't make it to something like a movie night or date when his plane arrives later or practice runs over.

the only thing now, is that he had promised you that he could make it on time to dinner. sending countless 'I swear ill be there' texts and swift calls ensuring his presences at the dinner table during his dance rehearsals.

but now you were sitting at the table alone. a cold jajangmyeon sits in the platter in front of you, a similar on across the table from you. looking up at that old clock the hour turns to 10 and he's officially 2 hours late. it wasn't unknown for him to run a little over his time but this was unbelievable. you curse yourself for being naive and truly thinking he would keep to his word.

as you get up and clean the meal that you created you feel a little piece inside of you break, watching your hard work spill into the leftover containers like your tears. this was embarrassing, waiting around like a puppy in hopes your owner comes home. you were loyal and hopeful to a fault but wasting time and money like this was just unacceptable.

by the time seungmin walked through the front door it was half pass midnight and you had situated yourself infront of the t.v watching a new drama a colleague from work recommended.

"(name)." he calls out, you hear his shoes hit the wall as he takes them off, and then theres a shuffle as he organizes them on the shoe rack. you hear him leave his keys in the bowl on the desk that was by the front door, his footsteps growing louder as he nears the living room.

"(name)." he calls out again, seeing you lay in a cocoon of blankets in the dark, he think maybe you're sleeping so he quietly discards his winter coat on the back of the couch. he flicks on the lamp on the other side of the couch to bring in some light. though when he comes around to sit down he finds your eyes wide open, "why didn't you answer me when I called?"

"why didn't you come on time like you promised?" you quipped back quietly, suddenly too exhausted to have any conversation with him. you try and sink further into the thick blanket as you watch the Netflix symbol load and the next episodes intro plays.

you can't see his face but when he sighs and shifts in his spot you can hear the hesitance, "you already know why, practice ran late, like always."

"whatever."

"'whatever?' what's going on with you?"

"nothing." your tone is snipped but honestly you couldn't care less. somewhere in your soul you feel as though this might be a little extreme of an reaction but there is only so much patience you can give one person. you constantly make time for him and this relationship, so why couldn't he move things around and do the same for you? your eyes remain on the television.

seungmins eyes dart quickly to the t.v and then back to you, noticing that your full attention isn't on him, so he leans over you and goes to grab the remote from your hands. at the sudden loss of contact you make a move to try and get the remote back from him but he effectively powers down the t.v and discards in on the coffee table.

"I'll only repeat myself so many times, what's going on?"

it was like a newfound energy fizzled at your toes and pushed itself up and towards your head, your body springs up from its sideways position and you angle yourself to face seungmin.

though the light was somewhat dim due to only the lamp being on, he could see the red-rim of your eyes and the dried streaks of tears sticking to your cheeks. obviously, it had been evident that you had been crying.

seungmins eyes soften for a moment, he reaches out to try and smooth out the puffiness of your cheeks but as soon as you see his hand coming you push it away, "you were crying?" it comes out more of a statement than a concerned question, but the worry was still evident in his tone.

"duh," you start, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the tense space, you find comfort in the carpet on the ground. you were feeling...nervous. you didn't want to cause anymore problems but things won't get solved unless they are discussed, which in all honesty, the thought of confrontation in the first place is feared.

you need to get it out, you can't stop living like this. deep down you know he cares but you have to stop going off of assumptions. either he's going to show up or not, it was clear already that you showed up no matter how busy you were.

"do you even still love me?"

the question tumbles from your lips before you could even process what you were saying. maybe it wasn't what you wanted to convey exactly but it was definitely a start.

"what?" his airy voice sounds dumbfounded which makes sense. the intense look you're giving him plus the profound, out-of-the-blue question throws him off guard.

of course he loves you, why would you ever think anything different? "where is this coming from?"

"well it's just that every time we have something planned your work gets in the way. I spend hours and hours getting ready, trying to look my best, just to waste the day sitting on the couch waiting for you to come home. sometimes I'm waiting so long I fall asleep! I put so much effort into being a good girlfriend! hell, I even spent over 100 dollars on dinner tonight because I knew you had a hectic day, it took me two hours to make it just for it to go cold and put into a container,"

your voice chokes up, full of exhaustion and disappointment. you feel the tears pooling in your eyes but have no energy to stop them. you really want to quit the word vomit but there's no point, theres more to be said.

"I try so hard to not get disheartened but it gets so hard when you don't even try. sometimes I feel like you don't even care about this relationship anymore, like you don't care about m-"

just as you were about to finish your words were muffled by hands on your face, and lips on yours. seungmin had kissed you to stop your rambling. you couldn't help but to feel relieved and somewhat offended.

"stop." he whispers as he takes a breath, his hands still on your face, foreheads connecting, "please stop." his voice crack under pressure, its subtle but at the lack of distance between you two you can hear it so well. your eyes are closed, trying to get your own tears at bay but hearing how emotional he's becoming breaks you. a sob teeters at your bottom lip but you force it still.

"don't you ever think that I don't care. I always have." he pauses and wipes the stray tears on your face with his thumbs, "I'm so sorry I've made you feel like this. god I'm such a bad boyfriend, this is my fault."

you try to move away to comfort him but he holds you in place gently, you sniffle and reach up to brush the bangs from his face.

"I promise you I'll be more attentive, ill take you out everyday, spend as much time with you, cook for you, miss practices all the time just to make sure you know I care about you."

"you promised earlier but you didn't come!" you cry, recounting how long you waited.

"I know!" his voice quivers as his hands tremble, lightly shaking your head, "I know...and i'll never forgive myself. you don't know how much you've shaped me into the person I am now and I- I have no clue what I would do without you. I just have a poor way of showing it."

you grip on his wrists, mimicking him with your eyes squeezed shut, you stopped trying to keep the tears in awhile ago, letting them fall freely into your covered lap. "how do I know I can trust you? I'm so sick of feeling like this."

"I promise you I will prioritize you more than anything, Idol life, dancing, singing- whatever, does not come before you. I won't leave you hanging like this anymore, i'm sorry I didn't pay more close attention to your feelings," his bottom lips shakes as he takes another deep breath, he opens his eyes and you can see pass the tears and sorrow a new found determination.

"even if my heart stops beating, you're the only one I need."

past your wary judgement...you believe him...

[black-swan-slaps]

Top 10 Sus Jikook Moments

There are way too many moments to possibly list, but my friend and I thought it would be fun to compile a list of sus jikook moments. 

10. 2021 Jimin Birthday Live

Cute and flustered Jimin calling Jungkook? Jungkook coming immediately to spend time with his boyfriend? Hobi calling out why Jimin was in Jungkook’s studio? So many questions.

9. 2015 Award Show Back Hug

Let’s be real, there are plenty of questionable back hug moments, but this one is particularly interesting. The fact that it was so early in their relationship. The fact that it took place at a public award show. The way Jungkook held onto Jimin and how they swayed together. The questionable looks from the other members. I see you jikook, I see you.

Honorable back hug mention is the BE live and the way Jungkook caged Jimin for an incredibly long time with their matching hair. Exuding boyfriend energy to the max.

8. Cute Feet During PJ Run

Honestly, this is just one of my favorite moments that makes me feel giddy. How comfortable they are resting on one another. The way they’re playing with their feet. Jimin’s surprised laugh when Jungkook plays along. And let’s not forget the special photo of Jungkook spooning Jimin.

7. “Let me give you a hug” Dance Practice

Am I the only one who has watched this clip over and over? We get to see how even during work they are always having fun together. But how can we not swoon over Jungkook’s smitten face as Jimin fails to lift him, and the way his smile grows brighter when he lifts Jimin like it’s nothing. Jimin tries to lift him one more time, but fails and instead hugs Jungkook and nuzzles into his neck ever so slightly. 

6. Jungkook’s Snow Gift

We should all know this moment. Bon Voyage season 4 in New Zealand. This is the beginning of Jungkook really doing whatever the hell he wants, and he disappears one morning to go on a mountain hike and returns with a chunk of snow, much to everyone’s confusion. He specifically waits for Jimin to wake up and excitedly shows and gives it to him. Jimin is, understandably confused, but we all understand the intent.

5. Malta Room Sharing

I’ll be honest, finding out about this speculation was what thrust me into the world of jikook. (It doesn’t seem to exist anymore, but I had wandered across an analysis video a few years ago). Obviously, we don’t know anything for sure, but there are enough clues here, as well as in many other occasions, that make it possible jikook were room sharing.

(And let’s not forget their cute Malta date)

4. Osaka Live

Similar vibe to number 5, but cranked up to 100. I don’t need to go in depth into this, because we all know, but my two cents is that Jimin was in that room. (Just as he hid in Jungkook’s room during the 2019 NJ live). What were they doing in a dark hotel room with sensual music playing? Eating bread, of course.

3. GCF in Tokyo

Enough said.

2. MAMA 2018

What I would give to hear everything the man sitting next to them heard. Something was truly in the air that day. They were all over each other and incredibly lovey dovey. While we can’t know for sure what they actually said to each other, the look in Jungkook’s eyes speaks volumes.

1. Rose Bowl

Are we surprised this is my number 1? There are so many moments that exist, but all jikookers come back to this one. There are so many questions about why. Why nibble the ear? Why confess his love? Why give a kiss? (We all know why). But the emotions are palpable, as they would be at the end of a high intensity concert. Jimin was emotional, and Jungkook went to console Jimin, as we know he usually does. Hanging onto Jimin’s back isn’t out of the ordinary, but Jungkook took it a step further. And put Jimin’s ear in his mouth. My assumption is that he was saying something, but ultimately decided actions would speak louder than words. To be clear, he says something first, pulls back, and then goes back in, catches Jimin’s ear, and then delivers a clear kiss to Jimin’s head. There’s no mistaking it. Jungkook was taking care of his baby. 

Honorable Mentions:

Rainy day fight

“I was with Jungkook [at 4AM on his birthday]”

That award show moment where Jungkook is singing a love song to Jimin and Jin is staring at them lovingly. (There is a video somewhere, but I can’t find it. Please, someone find it. I think it’s from the melon music awards)

Jungkook waking Jimin up on In the Soop season 2.

Jimin breaking Jungkook’s mosquito net on In the Soop season 1. (And the spooning that occurred the next day.) 

Black Swan Lift

Honestly, there are too many moments to mention. Please share your top sus moments!

[archiveikemen]

Xeno Main Story: Chapter 3

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

Rina: Excuse me, Xeno-san. I’m here to clean. 

Xeno: I don’t need it. 

An unhappy response was heard from the other side of the door, but I refused to back down. 

Rina: That won’t do. Didn’t you say so yourself, Xeno-san? Since I’ve decided to be a housekeeper, I should be flawless at my job.

Rina: This is part of my job… please.

After waiting for a short while, the door opened without a sound. 

Xeno: … Come in. 

Rina: O-okay! 

…

(Wow…) 

On one side of his room, there was a luxurious sofa and television; on the other side was a large bed. 

It was my first time entering Xeno-san’s room that was larger than mine. 

(… But there’s not much stuff in here. Despite the refined look of the room, it doesn’t have a lived-in feel.) 

(While it does kind of match Xeno-san’s aesthetic, it feels rather lonely for some reason…) 

The sight of his figure standing alone in the chillingly desolate room reminded me of the moment he left the living room just now. 

Rina: Are you okay, Xeno-san? You had an argument with the others earlier on… 

Xeno: Mind your own business and focus on cleaning. 

Rina: … Okay.

He went to sit down on the sofa after saying that. His attitude was strict, and the air in the room felt awfully heavy. 

Judging by the open computer and reading materials spread across the table, he was likely busy with some work. 

(… Anyway, let’s get to work.) 

(Although there doesn’t seem to be much for me to do here.) 

The room looked spotless to begin with and there wasn’t much furniture around, it wouldn’t take long to finish cleaning.

In the completely silent room, the sound of me cleaning was especially loud. 

(T-this is awkward…) 

Perhaps I was nervous because of Xeno-san’s cold presence, to the point whereby it felt hard to even breathe.

(I wonder what kind of work Xeno-san’s been busy with…) 

Surrounded by piles of documents and books, he looked really serious while typing on his computer. 

Rina: … That’s a lot of reading material. Are those for another job? 

I asked, unable to bear with the heavy atmosphere much longer. I thought he would lash out at me, however…

Xeno: That’s right. I’m working on the plan for our next concert.

Unexpectedly, he answered my question.

(Being a self-produced idol group is exe Creed’s selling point.)

(The stage production for concerts was definitely done by Xeno-san.) 

(I was also told that the discussions with the artist whose concert exe Creed performed as guest performers were done by Xeno-san as well…) 

Rina: … You really are amazing, Xeno-san. 

Xeno: What? 

When doing my research on exe Creed, I watched many videos of their concerts. 

Even the general public could tell that their performances were truly spectacular, not to mention their songs and dancing. 

(Their innovative themes and flawless formations highlighted each member’s strengths…)

Rina: You must be the mastermind behind all of exe Creed’s amazing stage performances.

Rina: Moreover, the idol industry is so highly competitive… 

(I can’t imagine how tough it is for him.) 

Xeno: I was wondering what you were trying to say… this is to be expected of me because it’s my job.

He spoke matter of factly, his eyes not leaving the computer screen for even a second. 

(His serious nature is the root of exe Creed’s perfect stages…) 

(Maybe that’s why he got that angry at Finn-san.) 

(This man is more serious about his work than anyone else.) 

… But it’s exactly why I’m worried about him.

(His schedule is packed to the extreme and he stays up all night working without sleeping. Will he be alright if he keeps this up?)

Rina: Um, please try not to overwork yourself. I might be overstepping boundaries by saying this, but I’m worried about your wellbeing. 

Xeno: … You really love poking your nose into my business. I don’t need you to worry about me, I know myself best. 

Rina: But…

Xeno: Busybody. I see you have a lot of time to be saying nonsensical things, are you done cleaning?

Rina: Oh! Y-yes, I am. 

Xeno: I see. Then get out. 

Xeno: I don’t have time to rest. Mind your own business and stick to your own work. 

… And so I was thrown out of the room.

…

Rina: *sigh*...

(I’m being a busybody, huh… I was indeed too pushy.)

As a super idol, Xeno-san carried a large amount of responsibility on his shoulders while working. 

For me to say such things to him, I might’ve sounded as though I was trivialising his efforts. 

My sigh echoed through the empty living room. Everyone had already gone back to their rooms to rest for the day, so the penthouse was quiet.

(Xeno-san’s still awake, I guess.)

Through today’s interactions with Xeno-san, I understood one thing. If I want to gain his recognition, I can’t be half-hearted. 

(Even if I were to forcibly interact with him, he definitely won’t pay attention to a single word I say.) 

(And so I should do as Xeno-san says and focus on doing my own job well first.)

(This goes for both my job at the company and at this condominium. I must put in even more effort…!)

…

Although that was my resolution, actually putting it into action was a whole new level of difficulty. 

(I feel like Mori-san and the others became even harsher towards me than before. I’m so busy with my assigned tasks, my head is spinning…) 

…

(Another day of unpaid overtime work… I got home late again.)

If I started doing a little housekeeping now, it would be midnight by the time I was done.

Maybe it was because that had become more or less what my situation was like every day, the accumulated fatigue caused my body to feel heavy…

…

After I was done cleaning, Xeno-san had me redo it. I did twice the amount of cleaning I did yesterday.

(As expected, he’s insanely strict…I spent so much time cleaning.)

Xeno-san was exactly as he proclaimed to be, seeking perfection in terms of work. If he wasn’t satisfied, he’d make me do it again and again. 

Jace: He works you till this late at night, huh. You two are like maid and employer. 

Finn: Isn’t a maid the same as a housekeeper? 

Hugh: Housekeeper-san… is your work tiring? 

Jace: Rather, it’s Xeno who’s being too harsh on her. If she were designated to my room instead, I’d definitely be much kinder. 

Finn: Do you think she’ll flee before she does her presentation? I dare to bet that she will. That guy has always been like this. 

Rina: Ugh… that’s…

Even though my job only consisted of the usual everyday household chores, it was still hard for me to perform them like a professional overnight. 

(Besides, being around Xeno-san makes me nervous, so I often fail…) 

Ivy: Don’t say that. 

Ivy: It’s inevitable to face troubles doing a job you’re not used to. Moreover, you’re doing it after you come back from work at the advertising company. 

Ivy: It was said at the start that it’s fine to just do some simple cleaning. You ‘ve never once complained, and you’re doing a great job.

Rina: Ivy-san…

Jace: Yup. Let me comfort you. Come here, Aegis-chan. 

Rina: Eh!? N-no. It’s fine. 

Finn: Geez, it’s not like we’re bullying you. Come on. 

Rina: Wahh, Finn-san!? My hair will get messy…! 

Hugh: … Rest. Want to drink hot chocolate together? 

Rina: Hugh-san… no thank you. I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m really okay. 

Just then, Xeno-san passed by.

Ivy: Xeno, you’re being a little too harsh on her. Eito already said to go easy on her on weekdays, you should be more lenient. 

Xeno: Lenient? She chose to do this. If she hates it, then she can go ahead and resign anytime for all I care. 

Xeno: Aegis, do a better job tomorrow. 

Rina: … Got it! 

Xeno-san left just like that, most likely to lock himself in the lesson room again. 

Ivy: Goodness… are you okay? If you find it infuriating, I’ll lend you a hand too. 

Rina:  No, this is my job after all. 

I replied appreciatively. 

(Like Xeno-san said, this was my own decision. In order to do better, I must try harder…) 

…

My days went on being as busy as always. Maybe it was because I didn’t get much sleep every night and was thus unable to fully get rid of my exhaustion, my head felt like it weighed a ton… 

(I had leftover work today so I brought it home with me. If I don’t complete it after cleaning…) 

…

Rina: Oh, it’s you guys…!

It was the members of exe Creed’s junior group, Gem Cuddle. 

Miu: Huh? You’re that girl from back then…

Nagi: I’ve heard about it, but you’re seriously living here, huh. 

Hitaki: We haven’t seen each since that night. 

Rina: Good to see you again after so long.

Miu: Not at all! 

Rina: Huh?

Miu-san approached me, grabbed my wrist, and forced me to sit on a chair. 

Rina: W-what are you doing? 

His face drew closer, leaving me puzzled. 

Miu: Hey, did you find out any of exe Creed’s weaknesses? Why didn’t you report anything to me? 

Rina: Weaknesses…? I never had that intention to begin with. 

Miu: HAH? How dare you act so arrogant and talk back to me. If you don’t act according to MY plans, then there’s no use in you staying here. 

(How can someone be this selfish!?)

I glanced pleadingly at the other two members, hoping someone would come to my rescue. 

Hitaki: I’ve mentioned it before, right? You have the ability to see through exe Creed’s weaknesses, I’m very interested in your observation skills. 

Hitaki: I’m curious about what kind of effect you’ll have on them. I hope to see it soon. 

Nagi: What’s all that about weaknesses? You guys shouldn’t keep thinking about using such roundabout methods. 

Nagi: We’ll beat exe Creed with our capabilities. We don’t need this girl’s help. 

(Oh no, they only care about saying their piece. No one’s intending to help me at all!) 

Miu: Anyone who doesn’t work for me is useless. What an eyesore. 

Hitaki: In that case, what do you think about making her our designated housekeeper to be useful? 

Nagi: I don’t need a housekeeper. … But having someone to run errands for me doesn’t sound half bad. 

(What’s the deal with these guys!?) 

Right when I felt like I had enough of them… 

Ivy: Enough. 

Rina: Ivy-san!

Ivy: Stop bullying her. She’s already having a hard enough time working for Xeno on our side. 

Miu-san let go of my hand the moment Ivy-san walked in. 

Miu: You’ve worked hard, Ivy-san! No way we’re bullying her, we’re just having a little chat~ 

The instant switch in his personality left me utterly speechless.

(He’s like an entirely different person…) 

Hitaki: Yeah, I didn’t expect us to be mistaken for bullies. 

Nagi: Exactly. 

Miu: Well then~ good luck to you! I’ll be rooting for you ♪

While I stood there baffled, the three of them scurried out of the room.

Ivy: Goodness… sorry about that, they’re a peculiar bunch. 

Rina: It’s fine, thank you. 

Ivy: Hm… you don’t look so good. Maybe you haven’t been sleeping enough, are you okay? 

Ivy-san peered into my face and frowned worriedly. 

Rina: I’m okay. 

Ivy: That’s good, but don’t overwork yourself, okay? 

While there were many people who mocked me, Ivy-san was the one person who would always treat me with kindness. 

(Not only does he care for the members, he cares for me too. He’s really a good person…) 

Ivy: You’re heading to Xeno’s room after this, right? Can I ask you to bring some food for him? 

Ivy: That guy has been cooped up in his room without eating. 

Rina: Got it. 

…

All of exe Creed’s meals were pre-cooked food full of all the nutrients they needed. 

After preparing the food, I made my way to Xeno-san’s room. 

…

Like the other days, he was buried in work today too. 

Rina: Xeno-san, I brought you food. 

Xeno: Leave it over there. 

He responded without looking up from his computer screen. 

(Still as cold as always… I’ve gotten slightly used to it, though.) 

I did as he said and placed the food on the table before getting to work. 

…

(… That should do it.) 

I finished my cleaning and walked towards him to let him know. 

Rina: I’m done—…!? 

— At that moment, I felt my head spin and my vision shook. 

Rina: Ah…! 

Xeno: Oi!? 

Just as I thought I was about to fall…  Xeno-san caught and held me tightly in his arms. 

Strong arms supported my weak body. 

Rina: … I- I’m sorry. I… 

His long, slender fingers touched the area between my eyes. He thought for a moment and—

Rina: !

Xeno-san’s stern face came closer and closer, until it was right in front of my face. 

Rina: Eh…? 

Unable to peel my eyes off him, I could only stare… 

[bangtanhoneys]

Yoongi & Grace: Future's Gonna Be Okay

It was nice to not have many plans now his military service had been announced. His tour across the world with his solo trilogy albums was completed, his tattoo was revealed, he had seen his brothers and now the healing could truly begin. Of course, he had seen the news blow up on Twitter and ARMY’s response.

‘Couldn’t have Big Hit even us more than 24 hours? We’re not recovering from the concert.’

‘First Yoongi breaks my heart by crying and now he does this? What the hell SUGA?!’

But it is what it is.

It has to be done.

It had been great to have dinner with all six of the boys and Grace. Of course, she wasn’t going to miss out on seeing his last concert and he knew she had been backstage, ready to take the mic from Adora in case she needed to jump in to cover the tracks he couldn’t get through. As much as he struggled, he got through those three tracks even with tears and snot covering his face.

He loved her for that. That she was always there, ready to jump in. She did it for everyone.

It was also nice to see the family dynamics at play again with Seokjin & Grace reunited, Jungkook reunited with his adopted parents, Jimin back with his sister, and Taehyung back with his partner in crime. How they controlled the grown-up maknae line with gentle prods. How they soothed an anxious Namjoon and a bouncing Hobi.

Yoongi had the chance to sit back and watch it all, surprised he missed the feeling even after living alone for the past couple of years.

Now he would be the next one to leave.

And he knew what it was like for Grace to say goodbye to Seokjin and Hobi.

Now she would have to say goodbye to her twin.

It was always joked that Yoongi and Grace were two cats in a pod. The near enough same personality, the cool exterior but the massive warmth underneath. How they would do anything for anyone. Yoongi’s shadow. Grace’s bodyguard. Yoongi’s safe place. Grace’s go-to.

Four more to go, another four to say goodbye to. All while prepping for her own solo career and world tour.

Of course, he found her in the practice room, the layout of the stage printed on paper and stuck on the mirror for everyone to memorise. The set list (which was changing every week) was printed up on the wall with handwritten notes from Grace, their performance director, choreographers and even the dancers.

Notes of costumes were on another wall with approval stamps from Balmain and Louboutin, more notes from the stylist team.

The whole floor at HYBE had been dedicated to Grace’s solo career with Bang’s office right at the end, the one spearheading the whole thing. Grace’s own team, now currently nicknamed the Queen’s Guard, was spread across other rooms. Yoongi was proud of her, in more ways than one.

“I thought I’d find you here,” he said as he closed the door behind him and found Grace sitting on the floor, dance practice clothes on but covered in sweat, looking up at the setlist.

“Are you changing your mind again?” he then asked, sitting down next to her while handing over a large mug of tea and a doughnut.

“No, it’s pretty much finalised. There’s just a couple of tweaks to make with each stop but I’ve got a plan for that,” she smiled as she gratefully took the offered items and wrapped her hands around the mug.

Of course, a lot of it had been hidden away from the boys as she wanted it to be a surprise for everyone including ARMY. So many surprises were coming their way that it was going to be a rollercoaster month starting from November and all the way through to when they came back together in 2025.

“How are you feeling now the notice has been put up?” Grace asked, nudging Yoongi to look at her.

“It’s a relief. It’s hard and it’s worrying but Seokjin-hyung and Hobi have done alright. And the military have been informed of my shoulder so we’ll take it day by day. How are you feeling?” he turned the question onto her, turning his head to fully look at her.

“Four more to go,” she muttered with a dry laugh. “I agree with ARMY when they say the quicker you all go, the quicker you get back. And I do feel that. But not seeing you all for at least eighteen months is hard. Jungkook’s is going to be the worst.”

“Well, he is your baby after all.”

He grinned at the look he got and took the doughnut back, breaking it in half so he could have some.

“But you’re going to do well. ARMY is going to explode with all the things you’ve got planned and I’m sure Seokjin is going to be with you when he comes back for most of your tour, or he’ll at least try to be. And I’ll be keeping up to date with it all,” Yoongi said around a mouthful of the doughnut which Grace tutted at.

“I know. I suppose I’m kind of getting used to the idea I’ll be on my own but not fully. I know you all will be watching and supporting. But it would be nice to have you all there anyway.” Grace finished off her tea and set the mug on the floor, letting out a long sigh.

The two stayed silent as Yoongi finished off the doughnut he brought. They stayed like that for a few minutes until he pushed himself up, brushed down his hands and held out his hands for his sister to take.

“Come on, Gigi. Let’s go for dinner, my treat.”

Grace took hold of her younger brother’s hand and let him pull her up, giving her a quick but tight hug.

“Oh yuck, I’m covered in sweat now.”

“I’ve got more dancing than you to do. All you did was stand there and bounce around.”

“Bounce around? Did you see me sweating?”

“I saw you standing there yelling shibal for the world to repeat.”

“Aish.”

[solarwynd]

I've been living that solo life for almost 2 years now, but sometimes I will listen to my old 'Top 20 favorite BTS songs' playlist or check my 98 GB 'BTS Live Performances' folder (I'm truly not exaggerating the size, though 30GB of those are just from a folder titled 'Jimin' which includes not only live performances but also his MVs and all the Production Diary stuff. I also download everything in the highest quality I can find which increases the size) and watch one of their pre-2020 performances, specially their tours, and I'm like "Man, there was a reason I was a fan of these guys". I almost forgot after the past almost 5 years of no proper group albums or tours and instead only a few mediocre songs here and there and concerts that were 60% pre-2020 songs they already performed a thousand times and 40% their new meh music that either doesn't have a choreography or does but it's kinda basic (I have beef with PTD on Stage, the only good parts were ON and Black Swan. Why did they ignore 85% of MOTS7? They finally had the opportunity to perform those songs in a live concert and instead of doing that they decided to do Fire again for the billionth time).

If they're really going to insist on coming back with the group they could at least go back to the version of the group that was actually worth being a fan of. But if they're gonna go back to their Dynamite, Butter, PTD, YTC, Take Two bullshit then they're just wasting the members. Cause Jimin and the rapline have solo music they want to make but won't be able to if they're stuck in the group. It would be specially a waste of Jimin, cause unlike rapline people care about his music (rip to the rapline, my grandpa would've loved your music Namjoon) and there's also no guarantee that Jimin is going to be invited to the exclusive 'Members Who Make The Group's Music' club. Jimin is the only member making music and having performances fans actually like and they're gonna sit in him a chair and give him two lines in a mediocre songs he didn't write. That shit should be considered a crime, genuinely.

Like I said, there was a reason I used to be a fan, and while I don't think I will care about those six like I care about Jimin, well, I never really did in the first place but I still managed to like the group cause I liked them as a whole not individually, so I could care about the group again if they simply give me a reason to. I'm not like armys, I can't stay a fan based on the love I felt years ago. I need to feel that love again in the present otherwise I'll just have to find something better to be a fan of.

.🎯🎯🎯

[jennyandforest]

505

Harry Styles X Reader

Summary // I based this blurb off the song 505 by the Arctic Monkeys. Y/N and Harry breakup after years of them hooking up

Warnings// angst, breakup, sad ending, overall vibe of 505, also maybe bad writing bc i may be a lil drunk ;)

You saw his name on your phone and instantly knew what he wanted. You answered, “Meet me in 20?” 

You sighed, tired of this game but never being able to find a way to quit. “Sure.” 

As you drove 45 minutes to the hotel you decided this was going to be the final time. You both were bad for each other. You need to move on and finally live your life, you’re done waiting for him. 

Harry had just finished fifteen nights at The Forum and was in between what was a cross country tour turning into a world tour. He didn’t have a minute for you unless it was to fuck you and like the idiot you were you went back for more every single time. 

You stood in the lobby of the little motel in Huntington Beach waiting for a receptionist. The little stout woman appeared with a smile on her face, “Hi! 505?” She asked, already knowing.

You let out a breath and look away from her, a little ashamed. “Yeah…” 

“Here you are, honey.” She hands you the keys and you take off with a small nod of thank you.

As you made your way to the hotel room your thoughts ran wild. You guess you're just not the kind of girl Harry wants to settle down with. Well, if not you then who? Probably some middle aged white woman, you told yourself, causing you to chuckle. 

“What’s so funny?” You heard his deep voice ask before you saw him. You inhaled as his hands immediately wrapped around your waist and his lips found your neck. 

“Harry…” You warned as you looked around to see if anyone was there. 

“S’there no one there.” He murmured as he continued to kiss down your neck. As soon as he unlocked the door he pushed you in and against a wall now in a deep passionate kiss. You dropped the keys on the floor as you fell deeper into the kiss. 

Harry then led your body to the bed. He gently pushed you down as he got on top of you. He slowly started unbuttoning your dress, slowly causing you to crave him even more. This made you chuckle, he was always one for slow and lingering rather than rough and hard, you’ll remember that. After he took off both yours and his clothes, you made love, for what would be the last time. 

~*~

“Let’s play something…” Harry muttered as he flipped through his playlists looking for music, sitting on the edge of the bed. You watched him as nothing but a sheet of blanket covered you. “Yes!” He exclaimed softly as a song from the band America started playing. 

You chuckled, “America?” 

“Don’t tell me you don’t like them.” 

“It’s not something I personally listen to, no.”

“What do you listen to? Let me guess some pop like Gwen Stefani?” He grinned.

You scoffed, “Hey! Don’t knock Gwen Stefani!” 

“Who said I was knocking her?” He turned and smiled at you. 

You both stared at each other for a couple of seconds before you broke the silence, “Give me your phone, I wanna play something.” 

He hands over his phone as you look up I Wanna Be adored by The Stone Roses. You softly smile and start nodding your head to the intro. 

He grins in return, “Good choice.”

You lean back and lay flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The song soaking up into you. Harry watched you, you looked gorgeous. Laying with nothing but the thin white sheet of linen covering you as you and your hair tousled. You truly listened to the song for the first time. 

You thought of the first time you met Harry, at an Arctic Monkeys concert. You were in the back of the pit having a drink while you enjoyed the show in front of you. You scanned the pit and were surprised to see Harry Styles standing with two people laughing and talking. You never pegged Harry Styles as a rock fan let alone an Arctic Monkeys fan, but boy, were you wrong. 

Harry felt a gaze on him and glanced toward the direction of it. You saw him look toward you, as you were staring. You awkwardly looked away. This made him laugh. He decided since you were alone he’d go and approach you, after all you could be a fan and he had an obligation to fans. 

“Hello.” He softly said to you as you stared at the stage. 

His presence caused you to jump, “Oh, Hello.” 

“Where’s your friends at?” He questioned with a small smirk on his face. 

You smiled in return, “My friend is in the pit.”

He mocked as frown, “Whaaaat? Without you?” He teased.

“Ah, you know what, I’m just not cut out for the pit. I’m more of a wallflower, if you will.” 

He nodded and stared at the pit, “I see, I see… I’m Harry.” He held out his hand.

You laughed, “I know who you are.”

His eyebrows raised, “Hmm, a fan?” 

You bit your lip trying to find a kind way to say this, “How do I say this? I just know of you because I don’t live under a rock.” 

He let out a laugh, “Alright then. And who do I have the pleasure of speaking to, might I ask?” 

“Y/N.” You grinned back at him.

It got quiet between you as the both of you stared at each other. Harry broke the stare as he chugged the last of his drink then turned to you, “Well, then, can I buy you a drink, Y/N?”

You licked your lips, embarrassed. “Uhm, yes, but, I already have a drink.”

This caused him to lean his head back and let out a laugh, “I meant your next drink.” 

You grinned and nodded, and the rest was history. If you knew all those years ago saying yes to that drink would leave you in an on and off relationship, you don’t know if you’d say yes today. 

You knew you would have to tell Harry eventually this would be your last time because you had to move on with your life. Your stomach flipped at the dread of it all.

Harry put his ringed hand on your thigh, “Hey… What’s wrong?” 

You still stared at the ceiling as you spoke the words you thought you’d never be able to say, “After tonight, I’m not going to see you anymore.” 

There was silence. It lingered for what felt like a lifetime until you finally heard him softly ask, “What?” 

For Harry, a knife twist at the thought that you didn’t want to see him again. “I said, this is the last time I’m going to see you.” You told him again, climbing up on your elbows to look at him and gauge a reaction. 

He turned all the way around, facing you, eyebrows furrowed, “Why?” 

You let out a breath, wondering if he was serious. When he still looked at you with a perplexed look you sighed and got your phone to look at the time. 

“Shit.” You muttered as you got out of bed and started to look for your bra and underwear. 

“Why do you want to end us? I thought this was really working for us.”

You scoffed, “Maybe for you but not for me. And it’s-” You shake your head, “It’s different now.” 

“Why? What happened? What big difference,” He made a motion with his hands, “was made that you don’t want to see me anymore?” 

You sighed again as you put on your dress back on and started to button it up. You walked to the window with a suspicion people were starting to catch on and know he was here. You sneakily moved the curtain back and, sure enough, paparazzi and fans were waiting out on the front of the motel. 

“Look, Harry, in order for me to move on with my life and start dating other people, I have to let you go.”

This caused him to furrow his eyebrows deeper, “You want to see other people? Why?”

You let out a sarcastic chuckle, “Well it’s not like you're going on your knees for me, asking me to be your girlfriend.” 

He frustratedly ran his hand through his hair, “You said you didn't want a boyfriend when we start-”

You cut him off frustrated, “Okay, well I do now! I’m tired of being used as the girl you fuck in between shows.” 

He rubbed a hand on his face, “Well, then, let’s do it. Let’s get together.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him, “How romantic.” You stated sarcastically. 

“I’m giving you what you want! I don’t understand what else to do?” He exclaimed with frustration. 

You closed your eyes at his oblivion. Maybe one day he’ll understand where you're coming from, but that day isn’t today. You felt tears sting your eyes as you looked away from him. 

“What?” He asked softly, moving off the bed to kneel in front of you and hug you around your waist. As he watched tears fall from your eyes he felt himself crumpling completely. 

“I just-” You cut yourself off as you wiped your tears. “I just want to be with someone who wants me as much as I want them.” 

This cuts his next sentence off as he stares at you in astonishment, finally understanding you. “Harry, we’re just not good for each other. I’m never going to be the perfect girl you need to be in front of all the paparazzi or to be able and take the hate comments from your fans or to go to fucking every single show you put on. I just- I can’t…” 

You stare down at his eyes as he just stared up at you with a mix of emotions you couldn’t read.

You finally cupped his cheeks and gave him one final kiss. You then unwrapped his arms from around your waist and walked toward the door. You gave one final glance over your shoulder and saw him sitting on the floor in nothing but his boxers, staring after you. 

“Bye, Harry.” 

[mikeysbride]

Welcome Back to Trench

When our kids introduced us to the world of the twenty one pilots fandom a couple of years ago, we were initially full of corny parent jokes:

Why are they called twenty one pilots when there are only two of them?

That's way too many pilots.

They're gonna need a bigger cockpit.

Why, for the love of God, don't they capitalize their name!?

That's not to say we don't still say those things sometimes (thank goodness our teens generally find us amusing), but it's also wild to see how big a part of our family dynamic this duo has become over these couple of years...so much so that I've even suggested that when we finally get a dog, he should be named Clancy. [T.O.P. fans will understand.] They are in regular rotation in our home and in our cars. Last year, they were one of my top 5 most listened to artists on Spotify! And last night, at last, we all went to see them perform live on the aptly-named Clancy Tour. It was the first time seeing them for all 5 of us - our family of 4, along with my 16yo's...um, favorite boy, we'll call him. I don't think she's been quite this happy since maybe when we first surprised her with AJR tickets. But as much as she loves AJR (we all do now!), twenty one pilots is HER band as Living Colour is mine, and Genesis is her dad's. Now we are all along for the ride.

And last night, much of Orlando was also along for that ride, having sold out the Kia Center pretty much immediately when the tickets went on sale months ago. I had a feeling their show would be high energy and that the crowd would be super hyped, and I was not wrong about that. But after being as impressed as I was by AJR (twice!) this year, I wasn't 100% sure what to expect. Tyler and Josh did not disappoint, though, and I have to say I am also quite impressed with THEM...not that I didn't think I would be. We've watched enough of their music videos and live performance clips (full concerts, even) on YouTube for me to know this, too, wasn't going to be just an ordinary concert.

To the point, Tyler and Josh have a way of immersing themselves into the crowd (literally) that makes them feel like they are right there with you - because they are - spending quite a bit of time out amongst their fans instead of on the stage. They are seemingly everywhere at once, making it feel like an intimate performance even with thousands of people in the audience. And the fire. There was a lot of fire, which I rather appreciated because, being prone to being cold, I was chilly in the arena, and it was nice to sometimes be able to feel a bit of warmth from the flames, all the way up our cushy club level seats!

We heard so many favorite songs of theirs last night, including my newest favorite from them, the super catchy "Lavish," but I have not stopped playfully pouting yet that they didn't do my O.G. favorite of theirs - the one that really stuck out to me when I first heard them, and that is "Lane Boy." I love that one so much that I have a bit of a reputation for it at this point. With a catalog as extensive as theirs is, they can't be expected to play everything, but man, hearing that one live would've made the night absolutely, undeniably perfect for me. Here's hoping they'll add it back in on a future tour.

Also on the subject of their music, I couldn't help but giggle thinking that Tyler doesn't really even need to know his own lyrics because that arena full of fans was more than happy to sing every line for him. From the first notes of every song, they were READY. If anyone knows the assignment, it's T.O.P. fans. Apparently, my kids aren't the only ones who can recite their songs like the Pledge of Allegiance. This is a thing I know now.

And finally, a huge thank you to Tyler for actually telling those of us in reserved seats to sit and rest for a few songs. Not to be the old lady in the room, but I'm long past the age of wanting to stand for an entire show, in most cases preferring to sit and truly hear the music and watch what is happening on the stage - or in this case (also) in the middle of the crowd somewhere. It was a bit of a reprieve when he said that.

Eh, so maybe I'll let that "Lane Boy" thing slide after all.

[visualtaehyun]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 of your fav songs and then tag your mutuals to do the same :) (no pressure <3)

Tagged by @chickenstrangers @twig-tea @thegalwhorants - thanks y'all ☺️ please never stop tagging me in music games, I love discovering and sharing music <3

I'm cheating here but a lot of my fav songs are OSTs so to not give myself a headache give the rest a fighting chance, I'm gonna choose 5 favs, excluding OSTs, and 5 only-OST favs!

ดาวหางฮัลเลย์ - fellow fellow

/daao haang Halley/

This song has not released me from its clutches since I first heard it during the musical portion of the ZeeNuNew concert last year. I love the lyrics and the vibes so so much. 🥹

ติดฝน - PiXXiE

/dtit fon/

I. LOVE. THESE. GIRLS! They're so talented! I legit struggled with which song of theirs to choose but I'm most obsessed with this one these days and, recently, I keep hearing people I follow sing it or play it as background music. Case in point: Keng Harit, Domundi gen 3, singing it on an IG live.

ฉันมันเป็นคนแบบนี้ - Boom Saharat

/chan man bpen khohn baaep nee/

The weirdest thing happened: I was listening to NuNew's cover of this song (listen- I'm aware I discover a lot of songs through him but he IS my favorite performer dsjshdhhs) and got real confused because I was able to sing along right away but cannot for the life of me recall how I knew this song already! I hadn't seen the MV, no one I follow seems to have covered it, and I didn't know the artist at all?? It remains a mystery to me but I've played it endlessly since then. New Thitipoom stars in the MV btw!

ต่อจากนี้เพลงรักทุกเพลงจะเป็นของเธอเท่านั้น - No One Else

/dtaaw jaak nee phleng rak thook phleng ja bpen khaawng ter thao nan/

I don't remember how I originally found it but it's one of those songs that routinely has me singing along. The title translates to 'From now on every love song will be yours'. I love the lyrics a lot!

Complicated - MATCHA

This is one of many songs and artists I discovered on that one afternoon-turned-evening-turned-night when I decided to start tracking down every song Amp Achariya has had a hand in (I then realized I was in over my head and that she'd worked on so. many. more. than I ever expected and that my spreadsheet skills weren't sufficient to catalog them lol). Needless to say, Matcha is incredibly talented and I've so far only scratched the surface of her discography.

Onto 5 of my fav OSTs!

ร้อยฤดูหนาว - Pond, Phuwin

/raawy reu duu naao/

I love the way this song builds with the instruments coming in one after another. I love their voices. I love the lyrics. This song was written by ณกมล ปุคคละนันท์ aka PEPPERY P who penned a lot of the My School President songs - อีกนิด (Come Closer), รักษา (Healing), พูดได้ไหม (Let Me Tell You), ก้อนหินกับดวงดาว (Rock&Star), and รักคู่ขนาน (Multi-Love). Yes, I am in fact sneakily rec'ing the MSP OST here too lol

คือเธอ - Zee, NuNew

/kheuu ter/

I could've chosen so many songs among the Cutie Pie OSTs but ended up deciding on this one because P'Pin truly wrote this song to highlight both their vocal talents and it shows. ✨️ He works a lot with Domundi artists (especially ZeeNuNew) and FreenBecky, writing songs and OSTs for them and arranging songs for them for concerts - his IG is full of song insights and singing snippets if you like any of these artists!

ภาพสุดท้าย - William Jakrapatr

/phaap sut thaai/

Do I even need to explain? It's an Amp Achariya song, the lyrics are beautiful, the meaning within the show is so !! and this LYKN boy right here kills it with his performance. 👏

แค่เธอ - Jeff Satur

/khaae ter/

I'm not a KP girlie and this song wasn't even on my radar when I watched the show. I kinda rediscovered it a few months later, most likely either by going through Jeff's discography or maybe through Joong Archen singing it on an IG live (I realize it must look like I sit and watch a shit ton of IG lives but the honest truth is that I don't even use IG, I just stumble upon clips on twt and YT a lot lol). And boy howdy did Jeff's writing strike a chord! Don't get me wrong, the English version is nice too and all but it doesn't come close to the Thai lyrics and how well they flow with the melody, Jeff really outdid himself there!

คู่คอง - Kong Huayrai

/khuu khaawng/

นาคี is not a drama I've seen and, yes, I again know this song through a NuNew cover lol but I really wanted to make sure to include a ลูกทุ่ง (Luk Thung) song because I love this genre. This song is extra special because the lyrics are in Isan, which is a Northeastern Thai dialect (though it's actually far closer to Lao than Central Thai). I routinely get this song stuck in my head.

/end of Thai music ramble

I'm sure I'm late to the party again so if you've been tagged already, please kindly ignore this or point me towards your post. ✨️ Tagging @raktae @sunshinechay @btwinlines @zimmbzon @airenyah @rocketturtle4 @telomeke and whoever sees this and wants in on the fun~

[rvllybllply2014]

Modern au. I need you to look up Damiano David, he’s the lead singer of Maneskin. I can totally see Davos dressing up like him. Since I’ve made Aeron famous, it’s Davos’s turn. One sentence of nsfw too.

Anyway Aeron has been crushing hard on Davos, he knows everything there is to know about him. So he’s over the moon when he wins the radio contest to meet him after the concert along with front row tickets. Aeron drags his friend Oscar to the concert, they both love the band Davos is in. He also knows that Oscar has a crush on Benjicot. They’re both delusional enough to think that they stand a chance with their crushes.

The night of the concert Aeron dresses in his tightest jean, it’s almost like he painted them on and a cropped mesh shirt, black boots and puts his hair in a bun. He also wears lipgloss to make his lips pinker and more kissable looking. When Oscar sees Aeron he calls him a slut. Aeron blushes and says he’s just trying to look his best, he’s getting to meet the Davos Blackwood. He also asks if that’s what Oscar is wearing to the concert. When Oscar asks what’s wrong with jeans, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes?

Aeron says absolutely nothing is wrong with how Oscar is dressed and drags him out the door. Aeron and Oscar spend the whole concert singing along to every song and yelling that they love Davos/Ben. At the end of the concert Aeron goes to the bathroom to wipe the sweat off and reapply his lipgloss.

Strangely enough neither Oscar nor Aeron weren’t nervous about meeting Davos and Ben.In fact they were the only ones that were able to hold a conversation without tripping over their words. Davos also thinks that Aeron looks hot in his outfit, and pulls him into take a photo with him. Ben also takes a picture with Oscar. Davos and Ben give Oscar and Aeron their personal instagram handles, under the pretense of Aeron and Oscar sending them the photos they just took. Aeron and Oscar do while they also flirt with Ben and Davos over dms and get to know them, it’s to the point of when the tour is over Davos and Ben ask if they can see them again.

Aeron and Oscar immediately say yes. They go on a double date where Davos and Ben rented out the whole restaurant, and had disguises on so the paparazzi wouldn’t know it was them. The date goes so well, that Davos and Ben decide to find an apartment to rent in the river lands so that they can be close to Aeron and Oscar, plus they like the slower pace in the river lands compared to the faster pace in kings landing.

Six months pass and it’s rumored that Davos and Ben are both in secret relationships, so when they do a TikTok live and say they will answer any question, nothing is off limits for them. So when someone asks if the dating rumors are true, they confirm it by having Aeron and Oscar come into the room and pull them into kisses. The chat goes wild watching them kiss, Davos sees what everyone is saying and tells Aeron he needs to stay and sit on his lap. Ben says the same to Oscar. Someone also asks to see Davos’s favorite picture of Aeron, so he shows them the first picture he ever took with Aeron. It’s his second favorite picture, his favorite is very nsfw, he’d just gotten done fucking Aeron. Aeron was still on his stomach looking over his shoulder at Davos with his face flushed and looking beautifully fucked out, with Davos’s seed cooling on his lower back.

Everyone coos at how cute Davos and Aeron look together and say it must’ve been fate for them to meet. Davos and Aeron agree. Ben also shows off his favorite picture of him Oscar, it was after their first date when both of them knew that they wanted the other, there was a soft vulnerability in their faces. Once again everyone coos at how cute they are. The fans joke that they’re now delusional enough to try and shoot their shots with other celebrities, Aeron and Oscar jokingly encourage it because who truly knows? They hadn’t expected to actually get with Davos or Ben but look at them now.

[georgiapeach30513]

It raises higher with better quality women too. //

Hi Jen, before I dive into this statement I just want to start off by saying I truly believe any woman has the capacity to be a high quality woman. Unfortunately as we go through life we experience self esteem issues and other traumas that make us feel like we’re not ❤️

This love story really doesn’t get much cuter than this. A 2x Super Bowl winner attends the concert of one of the biggest pop stars in existence over the summer. He took time out of his day to make a friendship bracelet for her with his phone number on it, but unfortunately didn’t get to meet her.

He spends the rest of the summer praising her and practically begging for her attention. They finally get in contact and he invites her back to that same stadium to watch him win this game. He pulls out all the stops by sitting her next to his mother in his personal suite. He’s constantly giving her heart eyes when he looks up from the field. They exit the stadium together and drive off into the sunset in his vintage convertible and head over to a restaurant that is rented out for privacy. Not to mention the thought and effort he put into his outfit that fits perfectly with her upcoming album.

You can tell it was their first time meeting yesterday after communicating through texts and calls. The extremely cocky jock was as shy as ever last night. It just proves that in order to get her attention he had to go big and wholesome and it worked for him! God, this whole thing is adorable ❤️

Never settle ladies. There is always a man out there who will pull out all the stops for you!

I just want to say, when I said better quality women, I meant more on the inside. Kindness, loving, humble, goodness, and so much more. In other words don’t be a trash human, be good. Do good.

But yes, ladies, there are men who will let it be known they are interested. They will go above and beyond to treat you like a Queen! Do not settle! There are men who will proudly show you off. Stand up tall as they walk beside you. Their face lights up when they see you. There are men that will get giddy talking or thinking about you.

It’s better to be alone than to settle. There is nothing more miserable than settling and living with someone that you can’t stand the sight of.

Fictional men are better, but Travis is showing that chivalry isn’t dead. Are we watching a fairytale 🤷🏻‍♀️

[reigningqueenofwords]

Rock Stars and Love

Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: 1,271 Request: @casdeanqveen I’d love any type of fic that involves Dean as a rockstar!! I love all your fics and if you don’t want to do it, don’t worry ❤️

Read on AO3

Dean groaned, rolling over. He was surprised when the other side of his bed was empty. Where the hell were you? Furrowing his brows, he sat up. He could tell that you hadn’t even been to bed last night. Then again, he could barely remember most of last night. Yawning, he pushed the blankets off him and got out of bed. “Babe?” He called, scratching the back of his neck.

Walking out of his room, he stretched his back. “Yo!” He yelled, receiving nothing but silence in return. There hadn’t been a night since the two of you started dating that he’d slept alone. He shuffled his way down to the kitchen for some coffee and stopped in the door when he saw you sitting at the table. You were reading a book, and sipping some coffee. “I was trying to find you.” He said as he moved forward.

You looked over your book and raised an eyebrow. “So you do know I exist?” You asked, your voice sounding bored.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He asked, grabbing a mug.

“Last night, during the after party. I kept trying to talk to you, but you were too busy with the band getting trashed.” You told him, putting your book down. “By the time two rolled around, I went home with Vanessa.”

He groaned. “I’m sorry, babe. I’m still getting used to all this.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I’ve been your girlfriend for six years, Dean. You’ve been famous for less than a year. I’d think that it wouldn’t be hard to remember who I am. Or are you going to be one of those rock stars that goes after some hot piece of ass now that he’s got money?”

“God, no! I love you!” He told you, stirring his coffee. “I was excited after the turn out to last night’s concert, babe. I was celebrating with the band. So what? It’s not like I was off with some groupie.”

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed your book and coffee. “I just hope it doesn’t get to that point. I was with you when you were a broke musician sleeping on friend’s couches, living off Ramen. Don’t hurt the people that truly care about you for those who only see dollar signs.” You walked out, wanting to change out of the clothes from the night before.

Dean watched you go, knowing that you were right. He was getting so caught up in the fame, that he’d been brushing off everyone else. Knowing you, you’d want time to cool off, so he sat at the table, drinking his coffee. Half way through his mug, it was cold, so he abandoned it to look for you. He’d bought this house six months ago, and it was a lot bigger than he was used to.

He found you lounging on the balcony that was connected to the room you shared with him. You heard him walk out and sit down, but didn’t open your eyes. “Are you bored, Dean?” Your voice was quiet.

“Bored? No.”

You turned your head, glancing at him. “Please don’t let us get to that point. If you reach the point where you can’t see yourself with me, let me know. Don’t keep me around out of pity.”

Dean moved to sit next to you, his hand cupping your cheek. “I will never, ever reach that point. I love you.” He kissed you gently.

It had been a few weeks since that after party, and he seemed to be trying more. He was on the road now, so you didn’t see him as much as you’d like. One morning while you were eating breakfast, there was a knock at the door. Confused, you answered it. It was a delivery of roses, and an envelope. Smiling, you thanked the delivery man and shut the door. When you opened the envelope, a handwritten note fell out.

You’re joining me for tonight’s show. Limo will be picking you up at 10am. Don’t worry about luggage. That’s taken care of.

I love you, Dean

You chuckled, shaking your head. After putting the roses in a vase, you finished your breakfast. You had two hours until your ride showed up. You knew it would be a long drive, as he was performing six hours away that night.

You arrived an two hours before the show, and were ushered into the hotel. There, you were dressed, your make up was done, and so was your hair. You felt like a Barbie doll. Thankfully, they didn’t do anything over the top, keeping it to your style.

The team was quick, and then you were led back to the limo, and driven to the concert. You had yet to see Dean, or any of the band. One of the bodyguards led you to backstage, where you saw Dean. He grinned when he saw you, kissing you gently. “What’s all this about, Dean?”

“Can’t I treat my girl?” He chuckled.

“You didn’t have to do all this. I could have watched you in jeans and a t-shirt.”

He didn’t get a chance to respond before he was told he needed to make his way towards the stage. He kissed you once more and walked away. As you watched him, you bit your lip. You moved to where you could watch him, smiling. He always looked so happy when he performed, and that’s why you supported him. Even when he got paid next to nothing for a gig, you wanted him happy.

Halfway through his set, he stopped playing, which was surprising. That wasn’t something that he did. “Now, I have a very special guest here with me tonight.” You furrowed your brows. Who was that? “My girl, Y/N. Come on out here, babe.” Your eyes went wide. “Don’t be shy.” He chuckled.

Slowly you walked out to him, a nervous smile on your face. You waved to the crowd who was screaming. It was so damn loud. Looking at him, the nerves seemed to calm down a bit.

Dean took your hand. “Now, this is the one you need to be thanking! She supported me when I was nothing but a broke punk. Sleeping on couches and eating the cheapest foods I could.” He grinned at you. “She pushed me to follow my dream. Thanks to her, I’m here, performing for all of you. Give her the loudest cheer you can!” The crowd went nuts, making you laugh. “Now, I surprised her- having her come here, getting pampered, and pulling her out. There’s one more thing, though. Some of you were given letters when you came in. I’m hoping no one switched seats or anything. So, if you got a letter, hold them up!”

You were shocked when the words ‘will you marry me?’ were held up. “Oh my god.” You gasped. Turning to look at him, your eyes watered.

“You loved me when I was nothing but a rocker with a dream. I am who I am thanks to you. You’re the real rock star. Marry me?” He gave you that smirk that made you weak at the knees.

“Yes.” You grinned. He slipped the ring on your finger before pulling you in for a kiss. You laughed, never expecting him to be the marrying type. “Get on with your show. We can celebrate later.” You pecked his lips once more.

He nodded, taking a deep breath before watching you walk away. “Now let’s get back to why we’re all here! MUSIC!”

You laughed from the side. He’d forever act like an overgrown sixteen-year-old.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Seventeen (Part 2)

We get dressed and head off to the festival grounds after that, and Claire, Shane and I agree that we want to go and see Fight Like Apes who are playing at midday. Jen opts to come with us, and I expect Jude to come too, but he decides to go with Joe and Kasper to see some DJ called Tiga, which throws me even more.  Maybe I’m just overthinking. I tell myself he’s being normal, and that he’s probably just playing it cool.

The festival is so busy that day that I don’t see him around again after that, but I try my best to ignore the heavy feeling in my stomach, and the increasing thoughts that maybe I did something to annoy him, or maybe I’m a bad kisser and he’s disgusted by me. Maybe I’m too young and immature, or that he’s figured out that I’m actually a big loser with nothing interesting to say. Maybe everyone is right about me.

Claire is having fun though, and she looks so beautiful dressed all in white in the sun. Every time I think it’s impossible for her to look prettier, she somehow does, and I know I’m not the only one who’s thinking it. I catch Shane looking at her more than once with an expression I’ve never seen him wear before: pure unabashed adoration. Like she’s the sun that lights up his sky. I hope he realises how lucky he is. They’re inseparable all day, and stand together through every concert we go to with their arms around each other, him delivering little kisses to the top of her head as he holds her. Watching them like this makes my heart ache. I want more than anything for somebody to look at me like that, or to touch me like that, but instead I feel heavy with the knowledge that the boy I like is off somewhere, lost in the realm of this gigantic festival, probably with a plastic cup of Corona in each hand, listening to some mindless electronica that he doesn’t even enjoy and not thinking much about me at all. 

I don’t do a good job of hiding my listlessness when Jen and I sit down for lunch together in the shade of the marquee we were just crammed into for a Crystal Castles gig a few minutes ago. 

“What’s up, chicken?” She unwraps a burrito and lays into it. 

“Nothing. I’m tired.”

She nods. “Have you had anything to drink?”

“No.”

She slides the cup of beer she bought for herself across the picnic bench to me and gestures to it like Bon Appetit. “Have one on me, it’ll make you feel better.”

“Won’t drinking just make me feel worse?”

“No! There’s truly nothing a drink won’t fix, right?” She nudges Shane, who’s just joined us at the table with Claire still stuck to his side. He looks at me disapprovingly and then starts to say something boring about how I’m too young to drink, even though he was miraculously fine with Claire doing it yesterday, but Jen just rolls her eyes and tells him to shut up. “You have to stop with this protective-older-brother craic, let her live her life.”

“Well I know her mam, and I know what she’d say if she knew she was drinking.”

“Are you going to tell on her?” 

He knows it’d be heinous to do that, and I know that he never would. I grab the beer and I gulp it down, just to show him that I can. I’ve been drinking since I was fifteen and I know how to handle it as well as he does.

“Better?” Jen asks me, and I nod, even though I find beer to be generally disgusting. The taste transports me to days spent drinking Tesco lager in a field after school until someone throws up. I bring the empty cup over to a nearby bin where a guy with shorn hair is openly urinating. “That’s so foul.” I tell him, letting my horrible feelings seep out of me. I don’t care, he’s a stranger. 

“Piss off.” He suggests, and then directs the stream towards me instead. I jump out of the way too late and it splashes on my wellies. I cry out and try to shake them dry while he cackles with delight. Everything around me seems ugly, I’m so aware of the litter all over the ground, overflowing bins, the horrible man who pissed on my boots, and the smell of distant porta-loos. The sweet, cloying taste of beer in my mouth is making me feel ill. 

Claire is so happy that she’s able to buy alcohol now, so throughout the day I keep giving her money to get me cups of white wine. I drink them quickly, and eventually they do make me feel better, in an synchronously awful kind of way. We go from gig to gig, and I have drink after drink until the day blurs together into one long smear of loud drum beats and bitter wine. I don’t ever really get drunk, the time between each break and the queues for the alcohol stands is so long that I just stay in this queasy purgatory state between states of being until I run out of money and nobody wants to buy anything else for me.

The evening settles down with the smell of bonfires, and eventually we meet up with the three others under the entrance to go and see Foo Fighters, which everyone unanimously decided would be the unmissable gig of the weekend. I feel nervous in anticipation of seeing Jude, now so entirely convinced after a whole day of catastrophizing that he hates my guts, actually, and wouldn’t come to my funeral if I died. 

He’s not that bad, but he’s not being especially friendly either. The only way I can think to describe him is as neutral. Like he’s not experiencing any emotions right now, and when I’m used to him being so lively and expressive it’s very unsettling to be around him. When we start pushing into the crowd I give in to my anxiety and touch Jen’s elbow. “Is Jude okay?”

She nods while rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I think he’s just in one of his moods.”

I didn’t realise he had moods. I can’t think of what to say to that, my thoughts feel fuzzy, so I just utter a dejected: “Oh.”

“Don’t worry about it, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I had to see him like this all the time at school. Just ignore him, he’ll be grand tomorrow.”

“Nothing happened to him, did it?”

“I doubt it. He’s just in his head about something, probably.” She leans towards me. “He’s a scorpio.” She explains, as though that’s supposed to mean something to me. 

I’m still trying to remember what scorpios do when we reach the churning centre of the crowd. It makes me anxious, but everybody else is just diving right in, so I do too. I’m wedged between walls of bodies on all sides of me, but there’s a distinct excitement rising all around. I’m still holding on to Jen, the others seem to have been swallowed up by the crowd like they were never there in the first place.

The first thing I can hear is the soft plucking strings of the opening line of The Pretender rings through the air, and then I can’t see Dave Grohl, but I can hear him. The crowd starts to transform from a solid mass of bodies into something fluid, and I realise that I’m being pushed out of the way, my spot being stolen by big men shoving their way to the front, all limbs flailing everywhere, launching themselves through the crowd to try and get closer as the drums start pounding. One of them actually grabs the back of my shirt and yanks me backwards out of Jen’s grip like I have no right to be where I am, no girls allowed in the Foo Fighters mosh pit. Another one crashes suddenly into the side of my ribs and I am so desperate to escape. When a third bangs his body against me he catapults me into the man behind me and tears spring to my eyes. I let myself go totally limp and let the heaving motion of the animal spit me out to the back shoulders shaking, sobbing and alone.  

When I look back at the pulsing crowd I can’t believe I was in there. It’s a rat king of testosterone, men shoving each other around to the music, hands grabbing collars and shoulders, and in the middle of it I see Joe, Kasper and Jude, gleefully participating in the chaos. I can’t help but feel dismayed, remembering how quick he’d been to save me from the crowd yesterday, holding me in front of him and shielding me from pointy elbows and stomping feet, and today when the crowd is bigger and rougher he’s left me to fend for myself. I don’t know what I did. Maybe I’m just too inexperienced, and he wants a woman, not some seventeen year old. I should have let him keep kissing me, I should have let him take me back to his tent and shown him that I’m grown up enough. That’s what a normal girl would have done. 

I go and stand at the very back where I can see the band, but barely. They’re just little black smudges on a blazing stage. I know the songs but I don’t sing along, or dance, or even uncross my arms from my chest. I stand there until they finish, crying my makeup off my face. I feel like a husk. Hollowed out, nauseous, tipsy. 

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