#and he was the only survivor in his entire class *because he skipped role call to fix a button on his uniform*

[cerealandchoccymilk]

hmm was just reminded of smth that's been simmering in our mind for years.

it's wild to me that people exist that don't really know the absolute horror of the atomic bomb. reading accounts since childhood (via textbooks, news articles, etc) of what happened on that day always fills me with so much fear and sorrow. you can also see the trauma of the bombing and fallout haunting japan through so much art, literature, etc etc (including anime and manga!!! popular ones!!!)

and yet people joke about nukes and nuclear war. everywhere

and i don't think we've ever shown it outright bc we tend to just play along but it's so distressing every time we see/hear a nuke joke in any context. i genuinely can't understand how anyone can possibly think it's funny.

[the-colony-roleplay]

Leif Hjelmstad | Thirty;  Survivor

House: Brink Security Class: 2 Status: Infected - Increased Vision & Hearing Name Pronunciation: LAYF / Y-EHLM-STAD

History

Born into a long-established street gang in the outer districts of East London, Leif’s legacy and life could only unfold in one way, and that was the same way it had for both his parents, and their parents before them. In fact, as far as Salem and Caprice were concerned, his story had already been told for him. It was a sad fact, maybe, but a simple one.

As a child, however, his parents did what they could to keep Leif sheltered from the gang activity—one of the few things they could properly agree on when he was born. Growing up, Leif showed early signs of taking after his father, which hardly came as a surprise, considering he was the spitting image of Salem. Leif shared Salem’s boundless energy, his infectious smile and his fondness for music. He was undeniably playful, and though Salem and Caprice were unmarried and fought much too frequently to count, Leif was turning out to be the happiest accident they’d ever made.

Still, they anticipated that he’d be keen to become a part of the extended family when the time was right—to put on the jacket and make his parents proud, to become one of the pack, and to have a true home. Because the Hellcats were more than just a gang—they were blood. And perhaps Leif believed the same, for a while. As a teenager, he was gradually introduced to the ins and outs of the ‘family business’, and despite his uncertainty, he definitely saw the appeal in the fierce loyalty that came with being a Hellcat and the sense of security it seemed to promise.

But for so long he’d been told who he was; who he was meant to be, who he was born to be, who people expected him to be. And what they expected, was Salem Hjelmstad’s son. Salem himself wasn’t the Kingpin of the Hellcats, but his brother Brodric was, and so being a Hjelmstad meant something. But Leif wasn’t so convinced he wanted it to mean anything. He wasn’t even convinced he was the person his parents thought he was. It’s not that they didn’t approve of his interests, exactly. They’d bought him his first 35mm camera the year he’d spent poured over band photography magazines and trying in vain to get his grandmother’s old Polaroid working. Years later, they even got him his first drum set, and though it was undoubtedly paid for with dirty money, he’d appreciated it nonetheless. They were proud of his talent, his diversity. 

But diverse interests is where they drew the line. It was fine to have hobbies, but they could never take priority over the Hellcats, because the gang was family, and family was blood. And though Leif quite sincerely tried to balance his divided attention, there was only so long he could keep up the charade before it fractured. Eventually, he was forced to choose between the life he was born into, and the one he’d be free to design for himself.

He chose himself. As far as he was concerned, loyalty and family was valuable, no question, but not if it came at the price of freewill. The Hellcats spoke of independence, of liberation from the law, but the way Leif saw it, they were prisoners of their own making. And Leif didn’t want to sacrifice the one life he’d been given just to have everything decided for him.

He was eighteen when he abdicated from the Hellcats. Were he not a Hjelmstad, he probably would have been killed. Instead, he was declared a deserter and told to skip town. The streets he grew up on, those he called family and friends—they were no longer his. When he left, he left behind a toddler half-brother, Birch, whom he’d hardly gotten the chance to get to know, and a soon-to-be son that he didn’t know he’d sired. His son would be born seven months later to a Gisela Carvalho, a young woman he’d had a brief fling with. She would name the baby Linden.

Leif would spend the majority of the next six years in Sheffield, making music in a band with a revolving door. Members came and went, as did the roles they filled, the names they went by and the garages they played in. For three years, he worked at an old record shop that specialized in vintage bands and paying homage to the rock legends of the ages. The old man who owned it, Arthur Garrick, was a lonely, retired musician and rock-enthusiast, and he’d taken to treating Leif like a son. When he died of a heart attack in 2154, he left the store to Leif, and Leif, who mourned as much for this loss, as he had for that of his actual parents, converted the store into a shop-and-bar hybrid: Garrick’s Head Records became The Garrick’s Head Vinyl Rock Pub. In less than a year, it was the busiest joint in their corner of town and attracted locals as well as visitors from several cities away.

Leif did what he could to keep in touch with his parents, which basically meant he’d call on birthdays and holidays. The phone conversations were always a little stiff, dense with everything unresolved, but he made them anyway, every year, like clockwork. He often asked to talk to Birch, a request his mother usually rejected with what sounded a lot like a long list of excuses, but sometimes, she’d surprise him, and pass the phone. Hearing Birch’s voice always put a knot the size of Leif’s fist in his throat.

It wasn’t until the day before the Falling, when he called for his Mother’s birthday, that Leif found out he was a father. Apparently, it’d been a secret Gisela had kept for years. She’d raised the child on her own, and had left town only a few years after Leif. The only reason his parents even found out was because they’d received a Christmas card from Gisela in the mail, several weeks delayed. In it she wrote that the boy was turning six and looking more like his father every day. She’d said she had no idea how to get in touch with Leif and had hoped that his parents would. She included a photograph of Linden straddling the back of a pink elephant at a park; Leif would unfortunately never see it.

Leif Today

Leif spent the first several years after D-Day with a large clan in an industrial apartment complex in London. After the chaos and the dust of the initial falling had settled, he’d left Sheffield and gone immediately south, accompanied by his on-again-off-again partner Skye, who’d been at his place the morning of the apocalypse. He was desperate to try reunite with his family, or even anyone from the Hellcats. His thoughts drifted to Gisela and a little six year old boy who apparently looked an awful lot like him, but mostly he dismissed it—no one had any idea where she’d even ended up. There’d been no return address on the card.

But when they arrived in London, all they’d found was more of the same chaos and panic they’d left behind, and it was too risky spending so much time out in the open. So when they came across what was soon to be quite literally referred to as ‘The Complex’, there is where they settled. When the Colonies rose, Crusaders would come by every few months to register any new survivors, and take with them anyone interested in joining the Colonies. Each time, Leif would produce a long list of names on a piece of wrinkled paper that was getting rattier with every month that passed, and ask them to run the names through their databases. For months and months, not a single name issued any results. Until one day, there they were: Caprice Morel, Brodric Hjelmstad... Birch Hjelmstad. Apparently, they’d been registered into some Colony up north, but were there less than six months before leaving again. There was no information on where they went.

Leif and Skye stayed at the Complex until the NWRF rose and the entire clan was forced to dissolve. When the Purging began, fear spread like wildfire across the crumbling remnants of London—these Crusaders were different than the ones seen before. They did not come in peace, nor did they bring resources or medical supplies. They came with precise orders and would go to great lengths to achieve them. It was a few days after the rumours started before the Crusaders reached the Complex, and by then, many people had already fled—including Skye. They didn’t want to be ‘sitting ducks’, they’d told Leif the night they’d left. And Leif understood: both he and Skye were infected, but Skye had always been more adverse to the concept of the Colonies than Leif had, even before the New Wave. They’d also always talked about heading East to reconnect with a relative. It seemed like it was now or never.  Leif and Skye hadn’t been romantically involved for some time, but Leif could easily call Skye his dearest friend. They shared a heartfelt goodbye.

Leif took one more day to get his things in order, and rather than wait for the Crusaders to come barrelling through the front doors, he went out to meet them. He’d already been run out of his own home once by the Hellcats, and he wasn’t going to let it happen again. He’d go willingly, and see what opportunities Colonization brought him. Yes, these ‘Reformists’ sounded like political bad news, but the New Wave was upon them and he couldn’t change that. Besides, Leif had practice starting over by now; he’d done it twice before and felt confident he could do it again. He also took comfort in the fact that at the Colony he would have regular access to a database that might one day come up with more information about his family.

Too often he wonders what Birch’s voice would sound like now—it’s been close to twelve years since he’s seen him; he’d be sixteen.

OPEN

[richincolor]

There are so many books out this week, and we’re thrilled! Which of these are on your TBR list?

The Everlasting Rose (The Belles #2) by Dhonielle Clayton Freeform

In this sequel to the instant New York Times bestseller, Camille, her sister Edel, and her guard and new love Remy must race against time to find Princess Charlotte. Sophia’s Imperial forces will stop at nothing to keep the rebels from returning Charlotte to the castle and her rightful place as queen. With the help of an underground resistance movement called The Iron Ladies-a society that rejects beauty treatments entirely-and the backing of alternative newspaper The Spider’s Web, Camille uses her powers, her connections and her cunning to outwit her greatest nemesis, Sophia, and restore peace to Orleans.

The Last 8 (The Last 8 #1) by Laura Pohl Sourcebooks Fire

A high-stakes survival story about eight teenagers who outlive an alien attack—perfect for fans of The 5th Wave

Clover Martinez has always been a survivor, which is the only reason she isn’t among the dead when aliens invade and destroy Earth as she knows it.

When Clover hears an inexplicable radio message, she’s shocked to learn there are other survivors—and that they’re all at the former Area 51. When she arrives, she’s greeted by a band of misfits who call themselves The Last Teenagers on Earth.

Only they aren’t the ragtag group of heroes Clover was expecting. The group seems more interested in hiding than fighting back, and Clover starts to wonder if she was better off alone. But then she finds a hidden spaceship, and she doesn’t know what to believe…or who to trust.

Barely Missing Everything by Matt Mendez Atheneum/Caitlyn Dlouhy Books

Juan has plans. He’s going to get out of El Paso, Texas, on a basketball scholarship and make something of himself—or at least find something better than his mom Fabi’s cruddy apartment, her string of loser boyfriends, and a dead dad. Basketball is going to be his ticket out, his ticket up. He just needs to make it happen.

His best friend JD has plans, too. He’s going to be a filmmaker one day, like Quinten Tarantino or Guillermo del Toro (NOT Steven Spielberg). He’s got a camera and he’s got passion—what else could he need?

Fabi doesn’t have a plan anymore. When you get pregnant at sixteen and have been stuck bartending to make ends meet for the past seventeen years, you realize plans don’t always pan out, and that there some things you just can’t plan for…

Like Juan’s run-in with the police, like a sprained ankle, and a tanking math grade that will likely ruin his chance at a scholarship. Like JD causing the implosion of his family. Like letters from a man named Mando on death row. Like finding out this man could be the father your mother said was dead.

Soon Juan and JD are embarking on a Thelma and Louise­–like road trip to visit Mando. Juan will finally meet his dad, JD has a perfect subject for his documentary, and Fabi is desperate to stop them. But, as we already know, there are some things you just can’t plan for…

Dealing in Dreams by Lilliam Rivera Simon Schuster Books for Young Readers

At night, Las Mal Criadas own these streets.

Nalah leads the fiercest all-girl crew in Mega City. That roles brings with it violent throw downs and access to the hottest boydega clubs, but the sixteen-year-old grows weary of the life. Her dream is to get off the streets and make a home in the exclusive Mega Towers, in which only a chosen few get to live. To make it to the Mega towers, Nalah must prove her loyalty to the city’s benevolent founder and cross the border in a search for a mysterious gang the Ashé Ryders. Led by a reluctant guide, Nalah battles other crews and her own doubts, but the closer she gets to her goal, the more she loses sight of everything—and everyone— she cares about.

Nalah must do the unspeakable to get what she wants—a place to call home. But is a home just where you live? Or who you choose to protect?

Opposite of Always by Justin A. Reynolds Katherine Tegen Books

Jack Ellison King. King of Almost.

He almost made valedictorian.

He almost made varsity.

He almost got the girl . . .

When Jack and Kate meet at a party, bonding until sunrise over their mutual love of Froot Loops and their favorite flicks, Jack knows he’s falling—hard. Soon she’s meeting his best friends, Jillian and Franny, and Kate wins them over as easily as she did Jack. Jack’s curse of almost is finally over.

But this love story is . . . complicated. It is an almost happily ever after. Because Kate dies. And their story should end there. Yet Kate’s death sends Jack back to the beginning, the moment they first meet, and Kate’s there again. Beautiful, radiant Kate. Healthy, happy, and charming as ever. Jack isn’t sure if he’s losing his mind. Still, if he has a chance to prevent Kate’s death, he’ll take it. Even if that means believing in time travel. However, Jack will learn that his actions are not without consequences. And when one choice turns deadly for someone else close to him, he has to figure out what he’s willing to do—and let go—to save the people he loves.

The Shadowglass (The Bone Witch #3) by Rin Chupeco Sourcebooks Fire

The dramatic finale to The Bone Witch series! Tea’s dark magic eats away at her, but she must save the one she loves most, even while her life—and the kingdoms—are on the brink of destruction.

In the Eight Kingdoms, none have greater strength or influence than the asha, who hold elemental magic. But only a bone witch has the power to raise the dead. Tea has used this dark magic to breathe life into those she has loved and lost…and those who would join her army against the deceitful royals. But Tea’s quest to conjure a shadowglass, to achieve immortality for the one person she loves most in the world, threatens to consume her.

Tea’s heartsglass only grows darker with each new betrayal. Her work with the monstrous azi, her thirst for retribution, her desire to unmask the Faceless—they all feed the darkrot that is gradually consuming her heartsglass. She is haunted by blackouts and strange visions, and when she wakes with blood on her hands, Tea must answer to a power greater than the elder asha or even her conscience. Tea’s life—and the fate of the kingdoms—hangs in the balance.

The Quiet You Carry by Nikki Barthelmess Flux

Victoria Parker knew her dad’s behavior toward her was a little unusual, but she convinced herself everything was fine—until she found herself locked out of the house at 3:00 a.m., surrounded by flashing police lights.

Now, dumped into a crowded, chaotic foster home, Victoria has to tiptoe around her domineering foster mother, get through senior year at a new school, and somehow salvage her college dreams . . . all while keeping her past hidden.

But some secrets won’t stay buried—especially when unwanted memories make Victoria freeze up at random moments and nightmares disrupt her sleep. Even worse, she can’t stop worrying about her stepsister Sarah, left behind with her father. All she wants is to move forward, but how do you focus on the future when the past won’t leave you alone?

You Asked for Perfect by Laura Silverman Sourcebooks Fire

Senior Ariel Stone is the perfect college applicant: first chair violin, dedicated community volunteer, and expected valedictorian. He works hard – really hard – to make his life look effortless. A failed Calculus quiz is not part of that plan. Not when he’s number one. Not when his peers can smell weakness like a freshman’s body spray.

Figuring a few all-nighters will preserve his class rank, Ariel throws himself into studying. His friends will understand if he skips a few plans, and he can sleep when he graduates. Except Ariel’s grade continues to slide. Reluctantly, he gets a tutor. Amir and Ariel have never gotten along, but Amir excels in Calculus, and Ariel is out of options.

Ariel may not like Calc, but he might like Amir. Except adding a new relationship to his long list of commitments may just push him past his limit.

[oddluver]

An Invitation To Die

Everyone believed that the Fake AH Crew were all immortal. How else would they survive from being shot by the entire police force? Or escape from one of Los Santos’ heavily guarded prisons? Or to survive from being ran over by cars, motorcycles, trucks, trains, tanks, and planes? The only possible explanation left was to believe that they were gods in human forms. Indeed, they were exceptionally skilled in the art of avoiding Death, however not everyone was blessed with immortality. 

The law of immortality states that in order to become truly immortal one must give up something or someone precious to them. In return, they would be blessed with whatever power they desired.

Gavin was the first to fall victim. He was filming something incredibly dangerous with Dan for a new Slo Mo Guys video. The experiment went haywire and something blew up, which engulfed Gavin and Dan in flames. Gavin screamed and tried to put himself out. He pleaded and cursed that he didn’t want to die. He begged for someone to save him, anyone, at any cost. Gavin was still set on fire, but he was passed out, not quite dead. He had awoken to still be on fire and quickly took off his shirt and whatever remains that didn’t go out. He should be dead he had thought and then, he remembered about Dan. Oh god, Dan. What about his life long best friend? All Gavin could remember were Dan’s screams. Then, something inside of him clicked. He was alive because he had sacrificed Dan to the flames of their mistakes. He suffered from survivor’s guilt for a long time after his rebirth as an immortal. In the Fake AH Crew, he developed a fear for fire and explosions. He will not go near Michael when he rampages throughout town, when Geoff lights a cigarette, or even when Jack lights a birthday cake. 

Geoff was the next to fall victim. In his lifetime, he managed to start a family, serve his country, and run a growing business by playing video games for a living. It seemed that he could conquer anything by setting his mind in discipline mode. For once, he was happy with what he accomplished in such a short time. Everything was going according to plan, until he received that phone call. His business was starting to fail. There wasn’t enough ad revenue to supply a steady income. He needed the money to support his growing family. He was desperate as he tried to save what little was left of his business. God, he was so desperate. His income kept decreasing and bills started to pile up. He started to drink to reduce his stress. Liquor, booze, alcohol, whatever he called it, he had drank bottles and entire cases to numb his worries. He was spending what little cash he had on alcohol rather than trying to fix the problem. It had gotten so bad that he suffered alcohol poisoning and blacked out. He wouldn’t wake up, his heart rate slowed down, and his breathing nearly stopped. In the back of his mind, he could feel himself dying. He silently cried out for help for he didn’t want to die from alcohol overdose. If fate allowed it, he swore to never drink again if it meant that he gets to live to see his family again. He awakened to the sounds of being rushed into the hospital hooked to an IV. He’d live to see another day. In the Fake AH Crew, he vowed to throw out any and all alcohol in the penthouse. If the guys wanted to drink, they would have to go to a bar. He promised himself that he would fight to stay sober for his health and his loved ones.

Michael was the third to fall victim. He was such an angry child growing up always cursing and shouting at the world. It wasn’t his fault though. He grew up in a carefree and loud household. He always got into fights with his sibling and at school. Nearly everyday, he would skip some of his classes because of fighting with other students or he felt like he was too dumb to learn. He was behind in school for a number of reasons and he eventually left school. He never came back and his family were getting concerned with his behavior, but never really spoke out loud about it. Without a degree in education, he was stuck at the shittiest jobs. He couldn’t take it anymore. He refused to take repetitive orders, be bossed around, or be treated like a dumb animal. He left and never came back. His family wouldn’t be happy about that not only did he not graduate school, but also left a paying job. The last option for him to survive was to steal, at least he would conform to his own terms and conditions. One day, he casually walked into a liquor store, pulled out an air soft gun, and demanded money. Dumb and reckless. He managed to fool the cashier and high tailed it out of there. He wasn’t paying attention to where he was going because he was filled with adrenaline and ran straight into a passing car on the street. Dumb and reckless. He swore he saw red and then, gray pavement. Broken bones, loss of blood, and a fucking concussion. He was going to die and because of his stupidness. Fuck. If he managed to make it out of alive, he would change for the better. No more self hatred. No more feeling useless and dumb. No more. In the Fake AH Crew, he managed to control his anger by keeping preoccupied. He learned to take his anger and hate on people who deserved it rather than just self destructing.

Jack was the fourth to fall victim. He was the voice of reason and a being of comfort. He had put others before himself, had sacrificed time and energy doing charity, and helping others without rewards. To help someone in need felt so good, but even that wasn’t enough to function properly. In all honesty, he felt like he was suffocating. If someone asked for his help, he couldn’t say no to their request or he would feel bad. When everyone came to him with their problems hoping for him to fix it is when he got exhausted of all of it. He became irritated and grumpy. The lack of sleep and time for himself were preoccupied with everyone else. There were only so many lives he could give a damn about. He couldn’t take it anymore. This wasn’t healthy. Although charity is a good thing to do, he couldn’t beat himself down just to keep everyone else happy. That’s not fair. In the Fake AH Crew, he was still the mother hen everyone knew in his previous life with the exception that he only looked after the crew. Everyone else had to fend for themselves because no one in his immortal life is more important than his immortal family.

Jeremy was the fifth to fall victim. He was a good kid as he did what people asked him to do. He did his chores, he did his job to the best of his abilities, but it wasn’t enough for him. He did everything that he was told to do, but not for his sake. He did it for his parents, his significant other, his friends, and coworkers. He tried to be happy, to put on a mask of happiness, but in reality he was upset that he couldn’t do what he wanted to do. People stepped all of over him believing that he was a goodie-two-shoes. They never expected him to lash out, kick, punch, and claw his way out of an obedient role. The fire in his eyes as he took control of the situation as blood dripped from his knuckles. The devilish smirk that was forming on his face. The pure insane laughter of happiness that he was going to live life as he sought fit. In the Fake AH Crew, he did whatever he thought felt right to him. If he wanted to kill innocent civilians, then he would massacre them like the Vagabond. If he felt that other criminals were getting in the way of an important mission or his fun, then he would torture and slaughter them for his amusement. Never again will he be forced to live like a puppet.

Ryan was the last to fall victim. He was an aspiring actor and a model. He was required to look pretty and behave like a gentleman at all times. He had worn many masks and acted like the perfect guy who could fool any audience into believing his characters were real. His job was to entertain the masses to serve in the role of a flexible person. His career demanded perfection. He must remember his lines, give a devilishly handsome smirk, and act like he was doing everything out of charity. He’s been acting for so long that all of his characters melted together. His identity as “Ryan” was lost in the sea of the many masks that he had worn. His personality shifted from the stage into reality. In the Fake AH Crew, he couldn’t tell if the serial killer from a movie was supposed to kill actual civilians or being a criminal meant that his role was constantly being filmed through the 4th wall break. He has many roles as the Vagabond, the Mad King, Andersmith, Port, and along with many other characters.