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theidiotabides · 2 years ago

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Don't mind me, just turning my lurking TLT blog into a full-time Animorphs meta factory since nobody I know personally has the 25-years-later brainrot I'm currently suffering.

Here's a parallel that fucks me up about Marco, specifically as it relates to his dynamic with Jake:

From Edriss, in Visser:

But I kept seeing a billowing white sail above me; feeling salt spray on my face, stinging my eyes; my hand on the tiller, the pressure of it against my palm; the sense that the boat itself was alive, endowed with life by the need of sky and sea to create some sort of union. Eva’s husband, my second husband, so to speak, was there, lying back, feet propped, a drink in one hand, a book he wasn’t reading in the other hand. And Marco, of course, climbing dangerously in the rigging, playing superhero.

From Jake, in #1 The Invasion:

So anyway, we crossed the road and headed into the abandoned construction site. ... Originally it was supposed to be this new shopping center. Now it was just all these half-finished buildings looking like a ghost town. There were huge piles of rusted steel beams; pyramids of giant concrete pipes; little mountains of dirt; deep pits that had filled up with black, muddy water; and a creaking, rusted construction crane that I had climbed once while Marco stayed below and told me I was being an idiot. (#1: The Invasion)

This is such a stark difference in behavior from Marco, and the whole arc happens before canon even starts, and I feel like it doesn't come up enough in discussions about him? Like, Edriss thinks of Marco as being too sweet & trusting to survive, and the books highlight the shift from that to his ruthless cynicism as a central tragedy of his character, and that is definitely a major part of the Marco equation. But there's also something in the shift from "fearlessly climbing in the rigging" to "calling your best friend an idiot for climbing a crane." Once upon a time, Marco was a fearless adventure-seeker. Then, too young, he learned what it really meant for somebody to die, and it destroyed that part of him.

My personal headcanon is that baby Marco was the kind of kid who could create adventure from wholecloth and regularly picked fights with bullies and probably also teachers on idealistic moral grounds, his miniscule size be damned (specifically, I like to imagine that he was very into the concept of knights and chivalry, although the superhero metaphor is more obvious). Following from this, I think the early years of his friendship with Jake were largely characterized by Marco ringleading and Jake backing him up. Marco was the one driving their adventures, picking their fights, and espousing their philosophical duty, while Jake followed in his wake, delighted to have such a dynamic person to orbit around, priding himself on his role as bodyguard. So their natural dynamic - the one that their friendship was built on, before losing Eva fundamentally changed who Marco is - was the opposite of what we see in the books.

Because Jake isn't a born leader. He doesn't actually want to be in charge. He doesn't have strong personal convictions or goals; he doesn't like making decisions; he's not comfortable weilding power (while Marco does and is). This is why Jake spends so much of the series looking for any excuse at all to abdicate, often calling for group votes or explicitly putting the burden of major decisions on individual teammates (especially Marco - "your mom; your call"). Ironically, this is part of what makes him a good leader: He can see everybody's perspective, he's willing to cede power and trust in expertise not his own, and his entire identity is a meditation on other people's values, helping him find middle grounds that nobody else can see because they're too set on their own paths.

Left to his own devices, though, Jake prefers to find people who he feels good about and then devote himself to them, adopting their worldviews wholesale so that he never has to wrestle with his own. In short, Jake wants a boss. And before the Animorphs, before Cassie, Jake had two people filling that slot: Tom and Marco. And Tom is his brother, so that's a default setting. Marco is the one he chose for himself. Marco's sense for adventure, his idealism, his willingness to pick a fight for a good cause - these are the things that made Jake choose him as a personal North star.

But then Marco lost his mom, and with her went his sense of the world as a just or safe place. Before, he thought of injustice as something temporary that you could defeat with a clever ruse or a brandished sword, and he believed that evil would always inevitably bend before a sufficiently determined good guy. Basically, he believed in the version of the world that exists in superhero stories: Sure, bad things happen, but you'll win in the end so long as you're in the right and you're clever about it.

For a long time, I made up stories about how my mom had survived. Maybe on a desert island or something. But I’m a realistic person, I guess. After a while I accepted it. (#5: The Predator)

No clever plan could bring Eva back, no matter how many stories he told himself about it, and accepting that meant accepting that anybody - including him - could just... die. Gone forever, for no reason at all. And even if they didn't die, they could disappear from him emotionally, like his father was actively in the process of doing, and no amount of fighting on his part could stop that, either. With Eva's death, Marco's world morphed into a senseless place full of random horrors, and Marco himself went from glory-seeking idealist to terrified realist. He's not telling himself superhero stories anymore; he sees them for the lies that they are.

And then Jake - a kid who specifically chose Marco largely because of Marco's idealism and sense of adventure - has to grapple with Marco's abandonment of those things, but with none of the personal emotional context attached. What does it mean to be eleven years old and watch your fearless leader suffer a complete crumbling of his worldview? And what does it mean for you, personally, when you've built your entire identity around following him, but he doesn't want to lead anymore?

I think it says a lot about Jake that he didn't abandon Marco. He easily could have found another optimistic, adventure-seeking person to follow instead, and indeed I think that's what Marco expected him to do. Afterall, if Marco's dad can more or less abandon him, it logically follows that Jake will probably do it, too. I think Marco's snark is largely a coping and deflection tactic, but on some level it's also an attempt to justify his continued role as Jake's best friend. He knows Jake picked him for the superhero-worshipping kid he used to be, and the only parts of that person he still has any connection to are his humor and his smarts. So he leans into constant clownery to reassure himself that he's still giving Jake the friend that he wants, and therefore Jake won't leave him. It gives him a sense of safety: As long as I'm smart and funny, Jake will have my back.

Jake’s my best friend. But he’s my best friend because I’m me, you know? Because I’m funny and smart and I’d back him up anytime, any place. I mean, what am I supposed to do? I’m me, Marco, not some touchy-feely, share-your-feelings-with-the-group kind of person. I don’t share feelings, I make people laugh. (#15 The Escape)

But of course Marco is never in danger of losing Jake at all, because Jake is an absolute loyalist where his people are concerned. You have to fuck up pretty bad for Jake to turn his back on you once you're in his inner circle. So Jake never even considered finding a new best friend; the job belongs to Marco, fullstop. Instead, he started trying to fill the void left by Marco's personality collapse himself, mirroring the traits that Marco used to have back to him, maybe in hope of sparking that part of Marco back to life. Jake idolizes superheroes. He intervenes with bullies. He flaunts danger to climb the construction crane.

But Marco can no longer see the crane as an adventure. He sees it as a death trap that could kill Jake at any second, and he doesn't feel safe until Jake is back on the ground, and he's angry that Jake can't understand that, so he insults him. Both because Marco can't express any feeling straightforwardly so his fear has to come out sideways, but also because Jake is a mirror of who Marco used to be, and on some level Marco hates that naive little kid just because he doesn't get to be him anymore.

By the time we meet them in canon, Marco and Jake are two years into this new dynamic. Jake is occupying the leadership role full time while still modeling himself after the way Marco used to occupy it (with a dash of Tom, because little brother syndrome), occasionally succeeding at drawing out bits of the old Marco in the form of harebrained schemes. Meanwhile, Marco is intensely aware that he is no longer the person Jake wants him to be, and he vascilates wildly between regret/fear (because he might lose Jake if he can't retain some scrap of that person) and contempt (because that version of him was a naive child who believed in superheroes instead of death, like an idiot), and both of these come out in his treatment of Jake. They love each other absolutely, but there is also a disconnect that they don't know how to talk about.

And then the universe is like, lol, let's give these two boys with a specifically superhero-flavored interpersonal power struggle actual superpowers, plus a team to lead in a mandate to save the world.

It's also worth noting that in #50, when Jake has fully given up and is actively trying to abdicate all responsibility for leadership, he tells Cassie that he's only leader because Marco said he was:

“Marco can be in charge,” he said helplessly. Again he pulled his hand away. This time I let him go. “He’s smarter than I am. Or Tobias. Or Ax. Or you. Rachel. Anyone. Anyone but me. You know why I was in charge in the first place, Cassie? Because once upon a time, a long time ago, Marco said I was.” “Jake, that’s not the whole truth …” “Well, now my term of office is over,” he continued bitterly. “So how about for once you guys figure things out and tell me what to do.” (#50 The Ultimate)

But Marco didn't say he was, at least not until after that consensus had already been reached by the others (at least, I can't find it in the pages of the early books - somebody please point me to the passage if it does exist!). If anybody, it was Tobias who waved the fearless leader wand over Jake. But Jake remembers it being Marco, because Jake's whole life is colored by Marco's abdication of leadership in their interpersonal relationship. Everybody else sees Jake as being in charge (and most of them put Rachel second in line), but Jake sees himself as a placeholder for Marco, ready to step aside just as soon as Marco tells him to. But Marco never will.

Anyway, that's my headcanon about what those two lines mean for the Marco/Jake dynamic.

#marco animorphs #marco and jake #animorphs meta #animorphs #what I'm saying is that Jake Berenson is a sub #he's a bratty sub too #Marco come and get your boy #also something something Jake fell for Cassie because she embodies all the sweetness and idealism that he misses in Marco #I ship jakemarco but in postcanon because they gotta defuse their not-it power struggle over who's in charge first #and an ongoing war effort is not conducive to constructive conversations about interpersonal hierarchical command structures #jake berenson

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