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#and he is the one in control and he's the thing in the basement yk
wellnoe · 1 year
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the thing about sinister and flamboyance is that i do think he is like. nightmare patriarch also right.
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spitsonyou1 · 1 month
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the randomest little be more chill rant that nobody asked for- both musical and book spoilers
not anything wrong with either of these, just mad at a character and I WANT TO CRUSH HER UNDER MY HEEL I ALSO WANT TO CRUSH THAT STUPID COMPUTER PILL.
read if you want?? Idk if you wanna sooo you dont have to
⚠️TW⚠️- sensitive topics such sexual harassment, drug use, and more relating to these
alright im not explaining anything and i assume you have read or watched bmc if you are reading this
i am going to be talking about the scene/song 'Do You Wanna Hang". (a very disturbing song for me, which most definitely implied S/A)
ehem. JEREMY IS NOT AT FAULT HERE. AND NO IM NOT BEING BIASED BECAUSE HE'S MY FAVORITE.
but genuinley. people could say it's Chloe's fault-- but that is more in the book, which i will talk about in a minute. It could be Chloe's fault in the musical, but she was also drunk off her mind and did not consent either. IN THE MUSICAL, THE FAULT IS ON THE SQUIP. it kept jeremy in that situation in both pieces of media, against his will, and if it weren't for Jake finding them, that situation would be horrifying. And because of the squip controlling jeremy, jeremy would be at fault for (yk)ing Chloe while she was drunk, therefore cheating on Brooke.
and so yesterday i finished the musical. i am still thinking about this song, and i go to the song on yt to see what others think about it.
dear the people, THIS IS NOT LIKE 'SAY NO TO THIS' FROM HAMILTON. ALEXANDER WAS FULLY IN CONTROL OF HIMSELF. MARIA (marie? idk) WAS NOT DRUNK.
as that one person on the reddit article said, this is much more like Blue or Your Welcome from Heathers. a very disturbing song portraying a strong message when characters were not in control of themselves, leading to messed up situations.
it is nothing like Say No to This.
(dear fanfic authors who make Jeremy and Chloe friends, this situation had not been resolved. you better have made a good side plot for this <3)
AND NOW FOR MY BOOK RAnT (there are many differences between the book and the musical, i prefer some things in each over others for reasons.)
a little bit of this info may be wrong, because i read the book a month or so ago. correct me if i AM wrong.
At some point when Jeremy was first in the party, chloe of course found him since they had agreed to meet up at the party in the book. (also, brooke and jeremy were never dating book wise) chloe gave him a mystery drug, and just told him to take it. CHLOE. LOOK AT ME. WHY. he takes it, and of course the squip is turned off now.
SO CHLOE HAS GIVEN HIM THIS STRONG DRUG, TAKES ONE HERSELF, AND TAKES HIM DOWN INTO THE BASEMENT.
you can see the problems with this.
in the book, this is chloes fault. she took advantage of jeremy for her own pleasure.
i dont think jeremy had consented to this in the book. (again i might be wrong)
and of course, Jake catches this in the act
we continue the book without uncovering this again, as they did in the musical
but yes that is the end of my rant.
i still dont like chloe
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hearts401 · 10 months
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ykw fuck it. werewolf au rambles be upon ye. a retelling of how the werewolf bite of 83 went:
First of all, William saw lots of potential in Michael when he was young. he was the biggest and much stronger than his siblings, and he could transform more easily. however, he had less... impulse control.
He didn't remember everything he did as a wolf, and didn't have as much control over his instincts. Pair that with his uncontrolled loathing of his little brother and... well...
lets just say that when you leave three little mentally ill young freaked out dogs in a room locked up alone together after witnessing something horrific and traumatic (specificall mike saw smth awful. idk if i wanna reveal it yet but. mlem. he saw smth scary) it doesnt end well. and William egging him on didnt help. he insisted that if michael hated evan, he should get rid of him. only the strong survive. he egged him on and on and michael reacted based on instinct
Michael hardly remembers what happened, but he knows he woke up covered in blood and his father asked him where his little brother was. and he didnt know, but he could assume. he never knew william was the cause.
he was never nice to evan btw he was still abusive. and a lot of that bled onto liz after evans death, so he ended up isolated a lot. william didnt care what happened to evan, but he knew michael was useful adn elizabeth could prove to be. he didnt want his precious daughter getting hurt.
william takes michael out to help him under the reasoning that hes already a murderer, he might as well help out his dear old dad. its not awful, you're a wolf, you do wolf things, this is in your blood and cannot be changed!
one day mike does get away from will for a second. he gets hurt and turns back and meets charlie, who helps him out. she doesnt ask where hes from, he insists on not telling henry about it. he doesnt trust him.
but he goes back to william because thats his dad. and he has to, yk? but charlie thinks about him a lot. And vanessa later stumbles across them in the basement, telling herself thats normal, wills probably putting them there so theyre safe from him. before henry tells her williams never had kids. His wife died in a crash before they could
so it must have been fake, right? but the children in front of her are very real, and so are the claw marks on the walls and the little girl's cuts and scraps clearly given to her by her brother, who is also scratched up.
and suddenly William's stories aren't adding up.
and of course everything gets more complicated when michael is missing.
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Again from @cubitodragon <3
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Poor Ramon indeed. He's a good kid. Fit may have sort of inherited him from Spreen (it's complicated) but they love each other so fucking much.
Okay the really early ones are really early. Maxo, Foolish, and BBH had long been conspiracy theorist types on internet forums, and had buddied up into their own extremely conspiracy group. Dan, Max's partner, vanished yeeeears ago, and he's been looking for him since. When he befriended the other two, they agreed to help him look. Even prior to the invasion the three of them actually managed to uncover some evidence that aliens had legitimately taken Dan (the first assumption was the government did it, so this was a bit wild for them to come to). When the aliens showed up openly, they started poking hard into that. Their logic boards were a bit wild, but shockingly close.
Max, a scientist in his own right, was actually also at the conference with Tazercraft when shit went down. As in he was giving a presentation when Pac slipped out to take the call which was one of the people funding their project letting him know what was going on, and the probable fallout. Their identities had also been picked up on, so the helpful person warned them not to come back. Max found Pac having a crisis over it in the bathroom before Mike (also having a crisis) got there, and offered to pay their hotel at least a few days (just because aliens are his biggest problem now doesn't mean he likes the government. Any government). Then, when things went entirely to shit, they all ended up super awkwardly in his basement because yk language barriers and different fields.
Meanwhile back in the Brazil Forever is trying to find a way to get to Europe and find Tazercraft. Incidentally, in the US, Foolish and BBH managed to meet up with each other, and want the same location to find Max. They don't intentionally meet up, because most of a continent, but it's a thing. In the period where the aliens had taken over and the Federation was now in control but things were just... Only very slowly changing from normal, they both manage to get flights over (the Federation revealing themselves as big time evil only came a year or two later, once any remains of previous governmental structures had been entirely swept away. Sure they were already herding people into new cities, but that's because a lot were destroyed in the war. Forcibly displacing people cross-continent and stuff like that took another year or so).
They all make it to Europe.
Foolish and BBH hire a car.
Forever doesn't have cash but has been on his feet for a while so means to walk.
Circumstances align as sometimes they just do, and Forever ends up hitchhiking, and eventually ends up with Foolish and BBH, and super funny conincidence they're all headed to the same city. But of course Forever goes to the hotel the conference was in hoping Tazercraft left a note (they didn't, because wanted criminals at the time they ditched the hotel) while Foolish and BBH go to Max's place.
Where they find two Brazilians in the basement and are like. Wait hang on a sec... And BBH 'borrows' the hire car to go get Forever, a phone photo of Tazercraft in hand just in case.
They actually operate out of Max's basement until the aliens start moving people about, at which point any previously inhabited areas become dangerous. The six of them end up moving, sabotaging, meeting people, and so on. Most of the people they met up with early on are dead now. Forever ended up leading as he had charisma, patience, and seemed trustworthy to new folk. The others tended to spiral down rabbit holes of tech and theories while Forever's just there like 'we need more food how best to get it'. And, given they were in Europe, it took Cellbit a while to track them down and start leaving info.
Speaking of which, your other question.......
So. Phil and Kristin. The group have /heard/ of them - anyone working anti-alien shit has. In the early days of the occupation they were /famous/. Or, well, Phil and Techno were, and Kristin a looming specter in the background. They were responsible for bloody swathes of aliens taken out - sometimes with friends, sometimes not - up until... Well, Forever isn't sure what happened. Something about being captured, or killing themselves to avoid capture, or... Whatever happened, it was another continent, and the rumours just vanished overnight.
It's a year or two after that - 6 or 7 before plot - when they've got the airship working but not all functions, so mostly its just being used to lug cargo around and keep moving very fast. Building the sort of network they need to do the plot things takes time, and effort, and winning the trust of the various rebel cells they work with for both info and resources was /hard/. But, anyway, they're doing shit and Forever finds a tip off from probably-Cellbit.
Decoding it is a nightmare but once they do, it's details of a guy Cellbit thinks would be useful to their operations. This guy is not Philza, this guy is Fit. Who had been making a name for himself with a couple of other buddies from the Wastelands with horrific amounts of explosives applied to Federation property, and general angry destruction.
Then got captured.
And has a scheduled execution date.
Which doesn't sit well with any of our heroes. So, off they go, and rescue /his/ ass.
Which gets Fit recruited! But you see, Fit doesn't consider himself hugely useful (he's their go to demos guy, but demolitions isn't that common. Too loud, leaves you too vulnerable). Also, he knows he's going to have fucking terrified Phil. So... possibly against his better judgement he drags Forever to where Phil and Kristin are based. (Fit's Wrecking Crew split off from their commune a few months after Phil vanished, Phil wanting to step back and Fit not being a step back kinda guy. Also from this area are Spreen, Roier, and Missa, though by this point they've also split away. The key is never to get too big, and have a network of allied cells not all of whom know each other's location. Also means there's a place for Spanish speakers. Not that Roier is with that group any more but a distraction).
And introduced Forever to Phil. Kristin basically runs their specific area, while Philza runs the interconnected network where people who came to them for shelter have taken things like seeds and split off to form their own groups. They're especially hard to get hold of, because they're all trained by Philza's school of paranoid as fuck, and having so so so many boltholes. All gets a bit Bolas in here, you know? But anyway, yeah, so that's when Forever and Philza both meet.
(Fit lost an arm. Philza's wings are ruined. Techno isn't there. Forever knows better than to ask why he stopped going out of his way to fight and started on resistance via survival philosophy instead.)
Forever and Philza combine their networks, which massively expands possibilities for both operations. Philza stays on the ground, though, at least for then.
Also Philza and Tubbo know each other but oh god we're not doing Tubbo's entire backstory too (and this is only post-invasion for Phil... Like why he had this camp ready to go before the war isn't here or any of that shit)
Philza returning to active service, even if as a medic and support specialist rather than the knife and sneak shit he used to do, is Missa's fault.
And by Missa's fault I mean Missa got captured (there's a whole thing with Kristin Missa and Phil and later Forever which is just very funny and I've mentioned befre but anyway). Phil, knowing that anyone going to save Missa can't come back to the base because while they have guards their biggest security is in secrecy, and their biggest resource is farming which is yk vital to the network, calls Forever for help. (When rescuing someone, too high a chance of being followed).
They don't take anyone from Spreen or Kristin's camps, though both of them help with the coordinating. Except Phil. Who. Has had enough of his friends getting captured and shit and is like. Okay. Fine. Tubbo was desperate to give me some new toys? Time to remind the aliens why they're fucking scared of me.
Needless to say Missa is rescued, but see the note of neither of them can go directly home. They end up on the ship with the others, and just kinda... hang there. After a few weeks they could probably go back, but Phil can still do what he needs to from here and the two sets of networks were merged anyway, and Kristin's got everything in hand on the ground (and Spreen with very different vibes elsewhere) and now Philza's put himself back out there he's kinda... well, he's out there again, you know? Going back in the box a second time aint an option.
Also he likes Forever. Forever is cool. And stressed. May as well share the burden.
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conniesministallion · 2 years
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" Say it out loud "
Connie x black!reader pt.1
TWS: Drugs, Cheating, Mention of SH, minor character death, mental illness.
Do not read if you are under 18. You will be blocked if your age is not in your bio.
Notes: This is my first fic on tumblrr so it may not be perfect lol.
Tuesday
Chicago, Il
5:04 am
Y/N POV
“ I honestly can’t keep doing this it’s killing me. You’re driving me crazy, now tell me what the hell happened .”
“ Don't worry your pretty head about it baby, just relax he's not dead he just yk....learned a lil lesson.”
“It’s too early for this.” I hang the phone up, laying it on my desk. Heading to the bathroom and washing my face. He does this all the time, it’s been five years and he can’t seem to keep it together. What the hell goes through his head everyday. I open the drawer/mirror to see my edge control is missing.
" I swear its everyday with these bitches" I whisper to myself, before sticking my head out of the bathroom door.
" Now which one of you whores used my shit and didn't put it back" , I yelled to my roommates.
" Sorry y/n, I swear I was gonna put it back here you go.", Maya comes out of out of her room handing me the gel before quickly retreating back to her room.
" Like I said, everyday with these bitches." I say out loud.
My lace is liftin, my nigga trippin, and one of my hoes is missin. I cannot stand no one right now. I swiftly fix the lace of my black and pink lace front.
" Its definitely time for a new one." thinking to myself. Walking to my closet, I pull out a black bralette with a pink miniskirt with fur boots and leg warmers. This should be good for now. I just need to find out what the hell happened. Connie and Eren are not answering my questions and I know their asses had something to do with it. Always starting shit and can never be confronted about it.
" This friend group is full of psychos I swear." Eren, Jean and, Con with their anger issues, Armin and Reiner with their D.I.D, and Sasha with her....girl yk lol. We all met at our senior prom it was um...an interesting night. I mean if you call trauma and drinking a fun time then you'll know what I mean. However, it did bring us all together. How we didn't know each other in high school I'll never know but getting to know them all has given me somewhat a new joy in life.
I've been thinking so much I didn't realize I've driven to Jean's. Dissociation will do some weird things to you while driving especially when you don't need it to. I make my way to the back door and knock loudly.
" Open the door whores you know what I'm here for." I hear a voice on the other side and loud footsteps.
" Damn ma I'm coming gimme a sec." Jean swings the door open and steps to the side as I walk in. Turning around folding my arms, I stare at him intensely.
" Now tell me, do you know what happened or I should I harass the twin buffoons for answers." I asked him. Wrapping his arm around my shoulder he pulls me in.
" I'll let you harass the idiots meanwhile, wanna smoke a blunt wit me hm? "
" Of course Jean baby lets go." I grab his wrist as we make our way to the hangout area. Which is technically the basement but we drunkenly decorated the place after Eren's birthday. I grab the dark blue bean bags from the corner and drag them in front of the flatscreen tv mounted on the wall. I look to the side and spot Jean heading over to the table with the stash. Sitting beside me and grinding the weed before sprinkling the contents in the roller paper.
" So, tell me what happened this time." He says
I turn to the the side to face him with a pout on my face. " I think Con is getting possessive again. I mean he has Lina, why is he acting like I belong to him." I explain.
" You know y/n, I think he's using her as an excuse to not have to deal with getting over you. He's obsessive, if you think he'll give you up that easily.....sorry ma but you're slower than I thought." He says while licking the blunt. " Hand me the lighter plz."
I reach in my pocket and pull out the pink lighter. It has everyone's initials written in diamonds. Handing it to him I sigh, " He's a damn psychopath if he thinks this will win me back."
" In that case, your delusional if you think I can't have you back."
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cielosphere · 2 years
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so as stated before, ahps4, or Albedo's Haunted PS4, is a fun little au me and my friend cooked up after they exposed me to-
1. the current state of SAG*U (seriously this needs another tag. wtf is happening in there)
2. this one fic they read where traveler plays an otome game and the game cast comes alive and exits the game into real life (foggy memory on this one sorry, we made this au like months ago. me and the bestie are planning on makng a lil doc for ourselves on just how to explain our au and i figure itll either be linked or credited in there so i will credit that fic when i get that)
and we set out to kinda combine and "improve" the two concepts! and we got here.
so what is ahps4? a modern/college au if you slapped miitopia and sword art online together and made that the main plot. mii art online even.
(we dont have the doc finished so ill just do my best to explain ahps4. sorry if i mess shit up i woke up @ 4am just now and my muscles are goving out on me)
albedo (and literally everyone from our genshin impact) are just regular people in real life going about their life. theyre like if the characters simply had different circumstances, so diluc and kaeya are still adopted brothers and had similar things happen, but there's no spy plot or delusions and shit, so while they had a rocky childhood theyre still on good terms and brotherly with each other.
and then here is where i essentially condense chapters 1-2 of the fic me and the bestie are working on (working on 3 now) bc it works as a jumping off point.
one day, albedo receives an email(?) about this game- a beta copy of Genshin Impact, a "yet unreleased" video game that he knows little about other than he won a raffle to be a beta tester for it, apparently. and yk yk he downloads it on his ps4, and after some long loading times he gets it up and running, and yk that beginning cutscene of the game? it is completely altered here!
first off- there is no narration by paimon. there is text like the ingame text cutscenes but no voiceover. the doodle of two stars through sand is actually in the snow this time. all the statues of the seven are blurry as shit. things are the same after that (twins talk and fight unknown god) UNTIL albedo hits the twin selection screen.
albedo, taking his sweet time choosing between the two, accidentally hits a bug whcih glitches the display a bit. he can now move his controller to a third option, where the golden cursor can be seen in the middle of the two, and he presses it. this makes the game essentially shut down before then boots up again in the same spot, but before albedo can go choose a traveler again the cutscene continues.
id say it still goes the same, until the very end. instead of being captured by her, the camera frames a door behind he travelers, right in front of the camera, and they bolt for it to escape. they crash right through it, right on through into albedo's basement.
the twins, unlike albedo, arent particularly phased by this development. they heal up and just see albedo's world as well, just another world they've traveled to. after introductions, everyone decides to call it a night (the twins do anyways, claiming a spare room for themselves and telling albedo that they'll "pay him back for the damages") and albedo just kinda stands there, still in shock, when he realizes the game is still running somehow. with no protagonists. the screen is just a sky and a golden cursor on the bottom, blinking. its paused maybe? he presses a button and a small cutscene plays
the camera shifts from looking straight up into a blue sky with snow to down, encircling a large snowy mountain, beginning at the top and moving downward. notably, there is a statue of the seven here too, and its also too blurry to make out. the camera then cuts to just outside a cave to inside of it, meandering over books and tables and what looks like odd lab supplies before it cits to someone's boots. the camera moves up slowly. from boots, to a long coat, to gloves, to eerily similar hair cut, and then the figure turns around and ah fuck thats him, what the actual fuck
but it can't be, right?
the game character speaks and albedo turns the game off. that was his voice. he decides to go to bed, leaving his smashed coffee table to sleep.
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free-pool-trash · 4 years
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happiness - peter maximoff
yay a new peter fic <3 i was feeling a little unmotivated for a few days (since our boy wasn’t in episode 8 at all :/) but im back 😎 although im back in school so i might be on and off for a while 😩✋🏻
!!!it’s not a songfic those lyrics at the start are just my inspo!!!
word count: 5k <3 😳
warnings: maybe swearing but i dont think so i cant remember, peter being sad, angst, but mostly fluff, WandaVision spoilers maybe??? I pretty much made up this plot so idk, endgame spoilers, reader was an avenger, kissing but it’s not graphic😽 probably some mistakes yk how it is
feedback is appreciated <3
tagging: @enchantedcruelsummer (should i make a peter maximoff taglist? let me know and I’ll do it)
masterlist
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haunted by the look in my eyes that would’ve loved you for a lifetime
leave it all behind
& there is happiness
Loneliness had always been something that plagued him. That and a plethora of other negative emotions.
There wasn’t a day that went by where Peter Maximoff wasn’t made to feel like a loser. Admittedly, he’d never held himself to a high standard, he grew up thinking that he’d never fit in anywhere and eventually that thought mutated into a lifestyle as he began isolating himself from the world around him, either far too good or heartbreakingly not enough to be a part of that crowd.
He liked spending time with himself. Nobody else knew him the way he knew him, and still, he found nothing but an overwhelming hollow space where his deepest most important hopes, aspirations, dreams and self discoveries should have resided.
Peter had always put this feeling of exile down to the fact that he was a mutant, it was the most likely explanation, right?
It was only when he’d decided to join the X-Men that he finally came to the conclusion that maybe the rest of the world wasn’t the problem, nor was his mutation the problem, but that he himself was the problem. For even in a school full of people exactly like him he was still the same loser that he was in his mother’s basement.
And he was under no illusions that that was exactly what his teammates saw in him; nothing. No potential. Just a space holder to bring the numbers up.
Super speed was incredible. That’s how Peter acknowledged jobs well done, he praised his speed but never himself. He just saved Charles and Erik from a room full of armed guards? No that wasn’t him, that was simply his speed. He saved an entire mansion full of people from a potentially fatal explosion? Nothing special, Kurt probably could’ve done the same.
Forget all of the good deeds and saved lives because the bottom line of it all, to him at least, was that all he was good for was cheeky one liners and hopeless kleptomania.
His life took a turn for the worse when he found himself being mind controlled in an alternate universe. And even then, he was playing the part of someone that wasn’t him, the thought humbled him, reconnected him to his roots and reintroduced him to his life long philosophy that he’d never be anything more than a social pariah. Not even an alternate reality could accept him for who he was. There wasn’t a warm welcome and despite not knowing what was going on, the definition of “imposter” or the weirder, “recast”, still shot to kill.
He settled on the notion that he was an inter dimensional waste of space. At least in WestView he could be blissfully ignorant, let the real him be drowned mercilessly in favour of being an integral part of someone’s life- to feel important, even if it wasn’t real.
When WestView fell apart he was completely lost. In every sense of the word. In a new world with no way home and as it turned out, nobody was looking for him. Although he didn’t expect anyone to care, it still stung that nobody did. He always hoped that one day Erik would step up as a father figure for him, this; getting kidnapped and smuggled into a different dimension, seemed like the perfect moment for that epic father son moment, but it wouldn’t surprise Peter if his father has yet to notice his disappearance.
But then, seemingly out of nowhere, he came into contact with a beacon of hope. A guiding star that might possibly lead him to an existence consisting of something other than misery and self loathing.
It offered him a choice; return to being the self proclaimed loser he was known as or start fresh as someone new and mysterious, with first impressions yet to be made and conclusions about him yet to be drawn. Peter had known himself to be rash in the past, when it came to making decisions he had the tendency to act impulsively, never putting too much thought into how his decisions would affect his life in the long term. The choice before him now is no different, he knew exactly what he wanted going forward, however selfish the choice may have been, the second he realised it was an option his heart was set on it.
That previously mentioned beacon of hope arrived to him in the form of a girl, in the form of you. An ex-avenger and close friend of Wanda’s, you were hired by S.W.O.R.D to help them clean up the more ‘sensitive’ fallout that the fall of WestView brought about. Obviously, they were sticking you- the only other avenger with magik- on babysitting and rehabilitation rather than letting you go after your best friend who had gone completely off the rails. Having said that though, you didn’t want anyone else handling him.
You hadn’t watched WandaVision, nor were you even aware that any of it was going on until it had reached a boiling point and you got a call from Monica Rambeau, she’d begged you to come and wait on the edge of town while she went in and act as her eyes on the outside along with Jimmy Woo.
That’s where you stayed until the hex broke down.
As soon as the barrier came down the base you manned was overrun by an armada of terribly confused and distressed citizens, Monica and Wanda were not among them but in their places stumbled in Darcy and the man playing the role of Pietro.
Jimmy appointed himself to Darcy, who in all honesty seemed relatively unscathed by the situation while you made a beeline for the dirty blonde charading as your former, dead teammate.
Peter was, to put it simply, completely enthralled by you as soon as you’d strolled over to him and in the moment he’d put his almost magnetic attraction to you down to the fact that you were the first friendly face he’d seen upon breaking free of Agatha’s possession.
But one thing in particular struck him; you’d asked him his name. You hadn’t immediately assumed him to be some knock off Pietro, as everyone else had. You acknowledged that he had his own personal identity and despite how often he caught himself hating the person he was, he found that when it was torn away from him that he wanted it back. The simple question you posed gave him the opportunity to regain his identity.
“Peter. My name is Peter.” He answered you, almost unsure of himself and you found your interest in the man piqued even further.
He remembered with perfect clarity the way you’d offered him a grin, tilted your hand, extended your hand and said, “Well it’s nice to meet you, Peter. Come on, I’ll be your babysitter for the next while.” There was something about the way you’d laughed after saying the words and the slight, yet unmistakable, glint of mischief in your eyes that had him captivated from the get go.
With you came a whirlwind of new emotions. After only a few weeks of knowing you, Peter noticed he wasn’t as lonely as he had been back home. He didn’t hate himself half as much either, he wasn’t entirely free of self deprovative tendencies and maybe he never would be, but undoubtedly, he likes himself more in this world than he ever had in his last. He thanked you and your determination to make him “a functioning member of society” for that.
It didn’t feel belittling, the way you helped him. You hadn’t dragged him to your favourite mall every weekend just to taunt him about how he couldn’t stop himself from stealing something. Even the very first time, when he’d sped away from you and returned within a second adoring a pair of freshly stolen sunglasses. Your only reaction had been to laugh and casually place your hands on both sides of his face.
“At least remember to take the tag off next time, speedy.” You’d muttered, subtly pulling the tacky stickers off the arms of his shades. No, you weren’t dragging him sight seeing or forcing him to help you go clothes shopping because you thought he was a loser who needed reforming you were doing it because you were a true friend who wanted him to succeed.
The pair of you seemed like two peas in a pod. Which to be fair, you were. Peter Maximoff intrigued you in every sense of the word. He was new, quite literally other worldly, he was kind, he was funny, he was perfectly mischievous and completely wonderful.
What caught your eye the most was the way he held himself, as if he wasn’t entirely comfortable in his own skin. It became apparent to you that he lacked confidence with the phrases he usually tacked onto the ends of his sentences. When you’d invite him to hang out in the beginning his response would always be something along the lines of, “Sure. If you want me to.” But the excitable puppy dog eyes told you that he was dying for someone to want him to tag along some place.
There was a certain understanding between you. You were both more than accustomed with the harrowing feeling of being alone and even though you’d never exactly voiced those thoughts with each other, you couldn’t deny that his was a spirit kindred to your own and he felt it too.
Since the Avengers has disbanded, one of your best friends, Natasha, was dead and your other best friend, Wanda, was gone completely off the rails and the people chasing her wouldn’t let you anywhere near her or even attempt to help pull her out of her darkness. You were being kept as a wildcard in case they needed her taken down. Peter was no stranger to the feeling of being cast aside and so he quickly responded to your frustrations, and in doing so, forced himself out of his comfort zone to be there for you. To his complete shock though, you’d been so appreciative of his efforts.
You never failed to thank him for the little things he did for you, always complimenting his mutation when he’d use it and giving him the recognition he never received at home. The friendship he formed with you was so… two sided, again, something he wasn’t accustomed to before. It didn’t involve him giving everything he had to offer and receiving nothing in return, you matched his energy meticulously and never left him hanging.
In a series of firsts, he didn’t wonder whether or not you genuinely liked him, never feeling the need or want to question it as you’d left him with no reason to doubt.
As he walked around the mall with you now, his mind brought his attention back to the question you’d asked him rather casually a few nights ago. You were both lounging on your couch, watching some ridiculous reality show (a favourite of yours and Peter’s) when you’d turned your head to look at him, a thoughtful look on your face. “Do you think when S.W.O.R.D figures the technology out to crack into other realities, you’ll go back to yours?”
The question had taken him aback for a second, in all honesty, he hadn’t thought about going home, not when he was with you at least and considering he’d become your roommate about three weeks after he got out of WestView, the thought of returning to his old life had barely crossed his mind.
Being an ex-Avenger you were fairly well off, you lived alone in a two bedroom apartment in New York that you’d bought to be closer to Stark tower. Peter had nowhere to go and aside from having a spare room to offer you’d also been sort of lost in the current of the busy city with everyone you once loved in the area either dead, on the run or busy elsewhere.
While the question hadn’t crossed Peter’s mind, it had crossed yours on several occasions. He’d been staying with you for six months and the moment you realised that he was becoming one of the most important people in your life, the thought of him leaving you too weighed on your mind but at the end of the day you wanted him to feel happy. He deserved to feel happy and if going back to his reality brought him that happiness then you’d support him.
“Dunno,” he’d replied, turning to face you, chucking a handful of popcorn at you when you looked incredulous at his response, “To be honest I haven’t really thought about it, m’way too busy babysitting you anyway.” He joked, effortlessly dodging the few pieces of popcorn you attempted to throw at him.
For the last few nights, the question haunted him, but it wasn’t just the question that was bothering him. You were at the forefront of his mind as he replayed the past six months of his life which also happened to be the best six months of his life. WestView put him through hell but coming out the other side of it and meeting you felt like heaven.
He weighed up the pros and cons of returning to his native timeline. The cons: he’d have to leave you behind, he’d go back to being the loser who nobody took seriously, his talents would be downplayed and disregarded and he’d inevitably end up revisiting his lifestyle of solitude. Then there was the pros: he’d get to reunite with his pac man machine. He couldn’t manage to think up anything else.
If he stayed he’d have everything he ever wanted and needed. You’d be there and he knew you always would be, besides he couldn’t leave you knowing that you needed him. If he left who would wake you up when you had night terrors about the catastrophe that your reality was still recovering from? There would be nobody there to comfort you when you woke up from the nightmares, reliving the deaths of Natasha, Tony or Vision and the experience of being snapped out of existence? If he wasn’t there to make you laugh when you were about to cry then who would be? In his heart of hearts he knew you had a huge support system at your disposal, he’d met most of them. Even though he was well aware that Sam visited you as often as he could, that Bucky wrote you letters on a monthly basis and sometimes tagged along with Sam on his visits, that Stephen Strange appeared in your apartment whenever the urge struck him, that the literal god of thunder invited you out for beer whenever he was visiting Earth, that the little spider-kid, also named Peter, swung by your apartment at least once a week to tell you all about school and his good deeds. Despite knowing all of this and knowing all of these people loved you dearly, Peter wanted to be your main source of support, he didn’t want to be someone who came and went, who’d love you then leave you. He wanted to be with you through anything and everything and the feeling that you’d love him for a lifetime had him satisfied with the decision he was about to make.
If leaving his old life meant he could stay here, with you, and experience happiness for more than a fleeting moment then he’d simply; leave it all behind.
“I’ve been thinking about what you asked me the other night.” He spoke through a mouthful of curly fries. You were sitting in the food court of the mall when he decided to let you in on his desire to stay with you indefinitely.
You raised your eyebrow, “You? Putting thought into an answer? Peter, I think I’m starting to become a bad influence on you.” You told him teasingly, taking a long sip of your drink as he rolled his eyes humorously.
“You’re a terrible influence which is exactly why I’ve decided to stay here and put you on the straight and narrow.” The glee you felt at his statement was undeniable, your eyes lit up and your lips curled upwards.
“You’re staying? Really staying?” Your smile was contagious, Peter’s face now painted with a wide grin as he nodded his head.
In a moment of weakness he frantically added, “Y’know only if you want me to though. If you don’t that’s completely cool.” He rushed through the words, feeling more embarrassed when the fond look on your face never faded.
“Of course I want you to stay. You mean a lot to me.” You reassured him, a gentle smile on your lips as you reached across the metal table, intertwining your fingers with his.
Peter squeezed your hand gratefully, holding it in his grasp securely and allowing his smile to return to his face, “I know. You mean a lot to me too.” It was somewhat of an understatement, he was starting to understand that you didn’t just mean a lot, but that you meant everything.
His resolution lifted a huge weight off your shoulders that you wouldn’t be losing yet another best friend. You were glad he’d be with you when everything blew over with Wanda, the two of them definitely had the potential to develop a beautiful sibling relationship and they both deserved that. Of course, Peter would never replace Pietro and having known them both it was obvious just how different the two men were, the only thing they had in common being their powers and last name. Still, he and Wanda would still be able to work on it. He didn’t hate her after WestView and you knew Wanda well enough to know that she was kind hearted and she’d be more than willing to give him a chance. When she eventually comes back to her senses, that it.
As the months went on, life with you and Peter seemed to only get better. You never stopped laughing, your nightmares died down and Peter had taken on a whole new lease of life. Yourself and Peter were the perfect example of meeting the right person at the right time, you balanced each other out and accentuated the other’s good qualities.
Peter could now say with complete confidence that he was happy and what’s more is that he was finally sure that he was making someone happy.
Up until nearly eleven months of living together your relationship had been purely platonic, save for the constant flirting but flirtation pretty much ran in yours and Peter’s blood. Peter wasn’t going to lie to himself, he’d fallen for you the second you’d peeled the security tags off his stolen sunglasses.
You, on the other hand, had been fighting with yourself because yes, you love Peter but you couldn’t have told him when there was the possibility he’d eventually leave and now so much time has passed and you’ve got such a good thing going you didn’t have it in you to ruin it.
However, all of that changed when your original Maximoff best friend came knocking on your door.
Wanda was on the run. She’d caused an amazing amount of chaos but Stephen Strange and S.W.O.R.D were hot on her trail and now she needed a place to lay low with the twins. She figured there was no place more reliable to go than to the always open arms of her best friend, who conveniently had a divinity for earth magik and could muster up a protective barrier without raising suspicions. And that’s exactly where she found herself; outside your door.
You’d been chasing Peter around the apartment when you heard the knock on the door. Peter was on the opposite end of the kitchen to you, using the bar as a shield from you. “You better get that.”
“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you?” You glared as you spoke, it was his own fault really. What sort of idiot jumpscares a witch while she’s mid-meditation? He’d frightened you so badly you accidentally blasted a ball of your signature green energy and ruined your favourite couch throw pillow. When you were ready to pounce on the scared speedster the knocks sounded again, more frantic this time.
With one last glare towards Peter you stomped towards the door. Your anger melted away completely when you saw her. Her hood was up and she looked completely exhausted, two small hooded little boys by her side.
“Wanda…” You breathed out, relief flooding your system at the sight of her alive. She didn’t get a chance to speak before your arms were pulling her against you tightly, hugging her as if your life depended on it. Wanda returned in your embrace, allowing herself to relax for the first time in nearly a year, she sniffled against your shoulder, holding back tears as she realised how much she’d truly missed you.
Billy and Tommy watched in confusion as their mother cried into your shoulder. They didn’t know who you were, all their mother had told them was that they were going somewhere safe.
It was the yell of one of the boys that caused you and Wanda to separate, “Uncle P!” With that you felt a familiar rush of air across your leg but instead of Peter appearing one of the kids was gone.
You shared a perplexed look with Wanda, although your confusion was for different reasons.
“Hey hell raisers!” Peter responded, catching the mini speedster who all but threw himself at him barely regaining his balance before the other child had flung himself into the hug.
“Wanda? Those two… are they...?” You started, at a loss for words Wanda cut you off quietly, her tone as disbelieving as yours.
“My children? Yes. Is that…?” You nodded your head numbly, anticipating the end of her question.
“Your fake brother? Yeah.” Quickly, you realised you and a wanted woman catching up with the door wide open wasn’t ideal and you ushered Wanda inside, shutting the door when she walked in.
“Hey.” Peter greeted her simply, as if he hadn’t been used as a meat puppet in her altered reality. It wasn’t in his nature to hold any grudges.
“Hi?” Wanda replied, her voice still twinged with confusion.
“Peter, will you keep an eye on the kids for a bit? Wanda and I have some catching up to do.” You asked him with a nervous laugh, just thankful that Wanda was too tired to argue with your suggestion.
Peter ruffled the boys’ hair and gave you a grin, “Only if you stop trying to kill me.”
You rolled your eyes as you began to lead Wanda into your bedroom, “You’re on probation, jerk.” You called over your shoulder.
Once you were securely in your bedroom, the door locked and sitting comfortably you fixed Wanda with an amused look, “I’d ask you what’s new but I’m not sure I even wanna know.”
Wanda gave you a sad smile while she shook her head, “No, you probably don’t. I will tell you tomorrow, I don’t want to get into it tonight. I’m so tired.” She admitted, her voice overcome with sadness.
“I’ll pump up the air mattress and you and the boys can sleep in here for however long you need. I’d offer you the spare room but that’s where Peter’s been staying and I don’t think empty food containers are the kind of decor you’d be into.” Wanda nodded, squeezing your hand gratefully.
“So his name is Peter?” She asked, curious about the man Agatha had used to trick her in WestView.
You nodded in confirmation, “Yeah. Peter Maximoff, actually.”
Wanda’s brows came to a furrow at that, “Maximoff? So he’s a relation?”
“Yes and no. Peter is from a different reality but he’s still a Maximoff and he’s got super speed. So, and this is just my theory, while you’re not directly related he could still be your brother- if you wanted him to.” You explained, as gently as you could, not trying to push her too far but to nudge the idea in her direction.
Wanda, to your surprise, didn't seem to hate the suggestion, “What is he like?”
A genuine smile made it onto your face then, as you shot into your description of your roommate, “He’s caring, funny, a little bit of a kleptomaniac but he’s working on it. He’s understanding and moronically selfless, moronic in the sense that he doesn’t even realise he’s being selfless. Huge pain in the ass too.” Wanda had a soft smile on her face by the time you’d finished.
“You like him.” Was all she said and you let out a laugh in disbelief, standing up and opening the door.
“Go grab a shower. I’ll have Peter blow up the air mattress while I go introduce myself to my god sons.”
“I thought you’d at least wait until I actually asked you.” Wanda laughed as you walked out of the room.
Things moved fairly quickly after that. As promised you introduced yourself to Billy and Tommy as their god mother, which they seemed more than thrilled about and you assumed that excitement had to do with whatever description of you Peter had given them. Wanda and the twins were all cleaned and fed and had all but collapsed into bed, foregoing the air mattress and huddling together in your double bed instead.
“Where are you sleeping, mother Teresa?” Peter teased as he noticed your eyes drooping where you stood.
“On the couch probably. Or the air mattress.” You mumbled, cutting yourself off with a yawn.
Peter, unimpressed with your options, scoffed, “No way. Come on, you can bunk with me.”
Much like Wanda, you were too tired to argue and you let Peter pull you to his, surprisingly clean, room by the hand.
You both crawled into the bed, lying close together despite the amount of empty space on the mattress.
“How are you feeling about all of this?” Your soft voice broke through the silence and Peter turned his head to look at you.
“About Wanda?” You nodded your head, watching him intently as he rolled onto his side, facing you more comfortably.
Peter shrugged lightly, “I’m feeling ok. Just glad the twins still see me as their cool uncle.” You let out a small laugh at his response.
“Wanda was asking about you. Seemed interested in getting to know the real you.” You informed him, your heartwarming as you watched a hopeful look fall across his face.
A lull settled over the room once again and Peter caught himself staring at you. His eyes drifted over every visible part of you, reminding him of most of the points on his pros list for staying in your universe; your eyes, your lashes, your nose, your lips, you.
“What’re you thinking about?” The sound of your tired voice pulled him out of his thoughts and ultimately pushed him to bite the bullet and tell you how he’s feeling. With you curled up beside him, in his bed, fighting sleep just to stay in his company for as long as you could; he knew there would be no better time.
“Just about how happy I am to be here with you.” He answered you honestly, the butterflies in both of your stomachs fluttering in sync at his words.
You trailed a hand under the duvet and onto the bedsheets between your bodies, feeling around until you found his hand and gently intertwined your fingers. “I’m happy you decided to stay.”
“What you’ve all gone through in this timeline sucks- don’t get me wrong-“ Peter started sincerely, scooting closer to you and dropping his head back down on the edge of your pillow, leaving the pair of you practically nose to nose as he went on.
“And I hate that Wanda had to go through so much… but I’m really glad that it led me to you.” Peter swore in that moment, right after the confession left his mouth, that he could die right now and be completely content knowing that you now knew how he felt.
His heart stopped, and he thought that maybe he was about to die, when you gave him the softest, sweetest smile he’d ever been on the receiving end of and whispered, “I feel the same.”
Time moved in slow motion as he felt you moving your intertwined hands towards your lips, your lips pressed gently against the back of Peter’s hand before you brought them to rest against your chest.
It was a fact to say that Peter Maximoff had never felt intimacy quite like this before. But, experiencing it now, with you, led him to wonder how he’d ever survived without it. He wasn’t sure whether it was natural to crave more, especially when the affection you were showing him was so gentle, but he didn’t care as he let the impulsive side of him take over.
Not sparing another word, Peter closed the small distance between your lips and his. His free hand cupped your jaw while yours wasted no time in getting tangled in his silver hair.
His lips moved softly and surprisingly slowly over yours and he savoured the feeling of your hand holding his while your other got lost in his hair, your body pressed up against him, the way your jaw moved against his palm as you reciprocated the movement of his lips and the taste of your lips, promising himself he’d never let the memory slip from his mind for as long as he lived.
With complete clarity, Peter could say he had felt true, genuine happiness and he had no doubt in his mind that there was absolutely nothing Charles, Hank, Scott or anyone else from his original timeline could say to make him leave this happiness behind. Because in the process of forgetting his old life, he couldn’t deny that he has undoubtedly found himself in the position of a man who had so much more to live for.
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strxnged · 3 years
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Sorry kinda disappeared. Had some stuff to do sjddh. Anyway I have more.
So my dream kinda started weird, not quite sure what i was wearing but ik i arrived to his house in long boots and i saw his parents who really liked me and were pretty chill with me coming over whenever most likely because i was his girlfriend also the house had an interesting set of stairs but i wont get into that anyway i got there said hi to them asked where Oikawa was they said in his room and for some reason i asked if i could take my boots off like it wasn't up to me or something and they said yes then my legs felt weird with them off but not the point i went upstairs with i think a gift bag or two?cause it was his birthday? and his room was like really long like it was big but not rlly wide and the bed was weird to look at but was normal at the same time? and there were two doors at the end of his room one was a closet i didnt know what the other was. anyway he was at the end of his room and i said hi to him by trying to give him a kiss i think but he was like shying away from all my affection, like i kept trying to give him hugs n stuff and then eventually he was like wanna see whats behind the door or something like that and it looked like a basement and we went down it was full of storage stuff. eventually we went back up to his room and jumped on his bed which was suddenly rlly huge and i launched myself so i was a lil higher up than he was, he turned around so he could sit up and face me ig and since he didn't get the hint i thought i was dropping. next thing i knew we were looking for a condom in the dresser drawers in the basement like place connected to his room we finally found one and then his nephew appeared out of nowhere like "you guys aren't old enough to be doing this" and apparently in my dream it was completely normal for this child to know about that after that i think we went further and it was like a church under but also behind his house kinda? anyway there were huge bells hanging a little off the ground and i think i jumped up on one of them and there was light coming from a window even tho it was underground.. or supposed to be and he was on some of the bells by the windows and i think there was something between here and the next part but i cant remember i do remember that something happened like there was some sort of either tech thing or like a possession type deal going on and the church started to crumble with him in it i think i had left but went back when i saw it starting to crumble n shit and then fire trucks and helecopters appeared for some reason but his parents begged me to go in and get him. turns out this is why he was shying away from my affection he didnt wanna hurt me or get me hurt so he was like being controlled ig from some sort of being in the church. the rest is kinda foggy and i think mostly lucid dreaming beucase i woke up after or sometime close to after that part and i was mad so i tried to go back to sleep and change and add things but yeah tha dream was a while buncha things.
Also do I like sign off as like dream anon now orrr- I’ve never really interacted with someone like this before
hey where's oikawa also can i take off my boots? do i have your permission to remove my shoes? LMAO
oh no this room is giving me BAD VIBES what is BEHIND THE DOOR SDFJKDFSHSLFDK okay wait did i just see condom and church and child in the same sentence wait okay
LMAO OKAY THEN EVERYTHING JUST FALLS APART okay that's so cool of him, trying to protect him. i love how that tied in hUAWHDSJF
that was so enjoyable to read wtf okay i wanna just listen to people talk about their dreams now. it's so weird. there's always a drive at the back of your mind while your dreaming, yk? there's always somewhere you're trying to go or something you're trying to do and it's like. i wish i had that much energy irl LMASOdfsajkl
YOU'RE FANTASTIC AND I REALLY ENJOYED READING THIS SDJFHWJALKJ
tell me about a dream you had with characters
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urmomification · 4 years
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SWAG ANOTHER DREAM SMP AU FIC IDEA THAT ILL NEVER WRITE POG
this is a very long post please im so sorry my brain it just
(tw for like slight possession n shit)
(sorry its all jumbled i write all of these in discord to my friend and copy paste them here please if u have questions ask me im always willing to talk abt this shit please it haunts me)
(context: i saw a tiktok abt the hc that both dream and techno are gods of some sort bc theyre mentioned in the tales of the smp by karl a time traveller and my brain just ran w it)
going back to the techno and dream are gods thing right so dream is a vessel for the god dream xd (??? work in progress youll know what im talking about at some point its really funny tho uve def seen clips of it) and he was possessed?? by the god after the server started (when he started going from super friendly with everyone to control/power hungry) when he started sacrificing everything for power so no one could have power over him? that was the god making him do it bc the god was terrified of not being in control since theyd lost it all to techno in their past. thats why we never see dream and techno fight and why we see dream extend help and support to him at times as well as respecting his boundaries and such bc theyre scared of techno (again w the best of 10 duel reference, techno killed the god in a past life which is why the god has been forced to use a human vessel to get anything done on the mortal plane) but when something that powerful spends pretty much any amount of time in something mortal and mundane like a person, the host body starts to change (hence the mask) i like to think that the god would be akin to that of a biblically correct angel?? like the ones w multiple eyes n shit yk so after time things start to happen to normal dreams body he gets extra sets of eyes and he gets taller and overall his body seems just Too Small for whatevers inside of him and thats why he (hc) started wearing the mask in the first place he knew something was wrong w him but he didnt want anyone to know even tho they would most likely help him he was ashamed that he was different in the first place so he started wearing the mask once the other eyes showed up. and i think that the god would talk to dream similarly to how technos voices work yk? except its just the one voice instead of many many small ones. and again with the mask thing when he lost to tommy and they took him in, part of his mask broke to the point where u could see just a bit of the right side of his face but enough to see that it Wasnt Right there were two eyes where there shouldve been one and spots on his cheeks bright enough to resemble stars and where the color of his pupil should have been is just a sickeningly neon green with nothing else behind it. so they let him keep the mask even tho they already know something is wrong but it clearly makes him Very Distressed when asked to remove the mask or told to give it up. blah blah blah god harassing its host bc it got them caught and thrown in a prison and dream goes ever so slightly insane having to share a mind and body with a literal ancient god w a vendetta against everything hes built whos forced him to sacrifice everything he loved and cared for out of fear yk the usual prison shit and then techno comes a long and breaks him out or whatever but on their way back to his house he drops a really cryptic line abt how 'its nice to see an old friend again' and 'i thought i got rid of u for good last time' and dream is just ???? what are u talking about?? weve never been friends and youve never gotten rid of me? what. until techno spins around and just 'im not talking to you im talking to the thing inside u' or whatever and dreams eyes flash some brilliant gold or sumn and boom this is ur fellow god speaking how may i help you and dream xd (that feels so wrong to say but) and techno bond or well ig just talk abt how the past centuries have gone and ig while xd is fronting (??? i think itd kinda be like DID in a sense w multiple people being able to front yk?) dream is in a sort of semi conscious state but still hears everything going on around his own body until hes thrown back into the drivers seat (i think that xd would only be able to front for short periods of time due to the vessel n shit that makes sense right) and hes so confused someone please help him hes just a dude who happened to get possessed by a god someone help him so when they finally get back to technos house he sits dream down and explains the best he can without literally melting dreams brain. which would also play into the 'technoblade never dies' bc hes. literally a god. mortals cant kill him unless they have idk some sort of super weapon idk and blah blah blah xd gets what they want and finally has the ability to leave finally leaving dream literally the shell of a man with no home friends materials or anything with techno to basically take care of him until he reaches some semblance of stability again (which would take ages, realistically (wdym realistically) going from normal, to a god sharing a body with you and speaking in you brain living as a single being together and hearing their thoughts, to back to normal but with all the memories of what you did and what they made you do and also no more god speaking in ur head it would take a hot sec to recover from) so he lives with techno (whos, not to mention, another god) for a while until he can fend for himself again and after a good year or so passes and no one hears from dream they start to look for him and see what happened bc he went from the biggest threat on the server to just. gone. no one knows where he went after whatever he did and they want closure. is he dead?? who knows. so george and sap set out looking for him and decide to ask techno for help since hes good w directions n shit also he was the last person to see dream alive so he might have an idea of where he is and they walk up to his house and knock on his door and techno opens it and just stares at them he knows who they are, dreams talked about them before but hes never met them really so he talks to them, getting through the polite hellos how are yous before sap finally asks 'do you know what happened to dream? no one knows where he went and we just want closure' techno huffs and tells them to wait there he (this is the basement door im using his arctic tundra house in my head) goes down the ladder to the second basement, they can hear him talking to multiple people (ranboo phil dream) but cant tell who everyone is before coming back up the ladder, back to the door. he tells them to wait outside he needs to get something first (its dream hes getting dream) theyre standing out by carls stable when the door creaks open and dream steps out looking around for who the fuck could possibly be looking for them he betrayed everyone and most people thought he was dead who could possibly be here asking for himself and not ranboo or philza and when he steps out, his green hoodie (memento made by ranboo to help him cope w the loss of the voice in his head) catching the morning light off the snow and he was happy and then he saw them standing by the house hed grown to call home at least for now he breaks. he missed them so so much it hurt. he never expected to see them ever again much less them come looking to see him but hes scared he realizes he doesnt know what to say there is nothing to say he fucked them all over he ruined everything and then hes being hugged. they missed him too. they dont forgive him jsut yet but they missed him and thats enough for him right now. the three of them stand there just being in each others presences and techno creaks the door open to make sure they arent trying to kill each other and sighs and leans against the frame smiling. hes happy again and thats the best he can do for him. he invites them all in and offers to explain everything to them to try and ease the blame off of dream bc in all honesty it was his fault but xd made it far far worse that it should have been (a bit late but foot note abt xd i think that they would be an idle god until someone w intense feelings of powerlessness and insecurity like awoke them from their techno induced slumber and inhabited dream to help him fulfill his desires for power and control) and by the time he and dream are finished its late at night and sap and george are ??? so u were possessed by a god who techno killed centuries ago in a duel and it amplified ur feelings of insecurity and ur thirst for control to the point of isolating urself from us and destroying everything everyone cared abt?? also technos an ancient god who lusts for bloodshed but also makes turtle farms in his free time?? are we getting this right????? and techno and dream are just yea thats abt it glad this all made sense then they all go to bed (its a small house dream has a lil shack like ranboos and sap and george somehow slept over there for the night) and in the morning sap and george leave again but promise to come back, they still arent ready to forgive and forget bc even tho it wasnt all his fault his emotions getting away from him is what caused this all in the first place so they do need time to process now that they know he isnt dead and dream continues to live near techno in almost full independence and eventually moves back with his friends even tho many still hate him. hes happy and for now thats enough. another foot note; even after xd leaves his being, he still has the extra eyes, glowy freckles n is xtra tall n shit that cant just be reversed but now that hes himself again these things take their tolls on human bodies so i think hed have something at least similar to arthritis bc of how his bones were literally manipulated bc of how strong ethereal magic or whatever is. so he would still wear the broken mask but he takes it off now and is ok with it being off hes working on getting better now that hes himself again and everyone living w/by techno is helping him with that. also i think that he would get blinks of xd's memories like from when techno was killing them and have sumn like ptsd panic attacks from it and techno feels super guilty abt it but theres literally nothing he can do except apologize and after the first few times dream stopped him from apologizing bc it is his fault but he didnt do it to him so it doesnt matter to dream at least and they live in pretty much harmony until dream finally moves back in w george and sap the end. he also started wearing the mask in the first place bc of the extra eyes but he played it off as being uncomfortable around new people and not wanting them to know what he looked like until he trusted them (bc that literally makes sense irl how funky is that) so sap and george never pushed him and when they caught him without it on on the rare occasion they wouldnt pressure him to leave it off or anything even tho they already knew what he looked like (when they respect ur boundaries </3) they just assumed that it was insecurity (it was but also mans had like 3 eyes so) and just left him alone
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appleciders · 7 years
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blindspot character sortings
okay, so, once again, this is entirely the fault of @zapatterson 
i’ve sorted the main five characters in blindspot into their hogwarts houses, with...very long analyses to go along with them. 
here’s the (very simplified) summary:
jane—gryffindor, for her need to be on the right side
kurt—gryffindor, for his morals dictated by his gut
patterson—ravenclaw, for her intellect and creativity
reade—hufflepuff, for his prioritization of others and his deep compassion
tasha—slytherin, for her need to protect her people
if anyone disagrees with any of my sortings, hit me up! i’d be pumped to hear your opinions.
(side note: i promise i have a life. i do, really. i just had a lot of time on my hands because i accidentally gave myself food poisoning. which...also means i wrote half of this with a 100 degree fever, so...don’t judge me too harshly, okay?)
Okay, first and foremost. Easiest for me to sort, except for maybe Weller. My moon and stars: Tasha Zapata.
Tasha is a Slytherin.
She is supremely loyal to her people. Supremely. We all know this, it’s like, her most defining character trait. She has her people, who she’ll sacrifice everything for, and then she has everyone else. See here:
Reade: You should have thought about that before you decided to steal evidence. Tasha: I did! You think I didn't realize that I could go to prison for this? But you are my best friend. That was the risk that I was willing to take to save you, but I will not go to prison to save Freddy. And that is exactly what will happen if we don't put that knife back.
In fact, the only person Tasha can prioritize over her team is herself. This isn’t a bad thing—selfishness can be good, especially when it means she doesn’t burn herself up for other people like Reade, or occasionally considers whether a risk is worth it before she leaps in, unlike Kurt or Jane. It’s also probably born out of her childhood, with her alcoholic mother, absent father, and her three brothers. She needed to be a bit selfish, because if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t’ve survived.
This selfishness is especially apparent in the first season. When she’s caught out by Weitz, blackmailed by both him and Carter, she does initially decide to give her team up.
Tasha: I gave you the file, that was the deal. This is over. Thomas Carter: But, little lady. But you already took my money. You already sold out your friends. If I tell the FBI what you've done... you won't just be fired, you'll be indicted. This is over when I say it's over. You're mine now, Agent Zapata. So you take care.
Another person—a non-Slytherin—might have weighed that and taken the high-road. Might have turned themselves over to be imprisoned for the sake of the FBI and for the sake of whatever plot was going on with Jane’s tattoos. But Tasha is a survivor; she needs to survive. She saves herself, even at the possible cost of whatever’s coming.
Then, later, she does find out the cost: Mayfair. She hears Weitz’s story, Mayfair’s corruption, the danger she might be putting the agency in. And she makes a judgement: she excommunicates Mayfair from her people. Mayfair is putting her friends in danger. Mayfair lied to her. In Tasha’s eyes, however hypocritical, however flawed, that is betrayal.
And we know how Slytherins react to betrayal.
Tasha: Thought about what you said... about Mayfair. If Mayfair's going down, she goes down alone. I don't want my friends to be dragged down with her. Matthew Weitz: You got it, partner. Tasha: I'm not your partner.
(Later this gets overturned when she discovers Mayfair’s true motivations and her side of the story. Regardless, it happened.)
It also happens to Jane at the beginning of S2:
Actually, yk what, I don’t even think I have to source this one. She shoots Jane, for crying out loud. And she doesn’t sympathize with her like Reade does—her being a pawn is not justification for her betrayal. Jane has to earn her way back into being Tasha’s people, just like Mayfair did.
It’s also interesting to tie when Tasha finally rebels against Carter to when she realizes she has lost control of the situation. Tasha prefers to control, rather than to be controlled (more on that later) and that is a very Slytherin trait.
As for the rest of her moral system, well, it’s very black and white. To steal words from @sortinghatchats, even if I was too lazy to use their system:
“But when the major part of your moral system that you feel viscerally is to protect yourself and your people, there are a lot of gaps in how you interact with the world and with moral situations. What do Slytherins do when confronted with wrongs that don’t touch their people? It depends on the Slytherin. Some Slytherins simply don’t care—they opt out of the moral complications of the rest of the world and what touches other people and choose a contented apathy about the things that don’t intrude on their space—but other Slytherins construct ways to interact with these situations.”
Tasha’s constructed system is very binary. Just look:
Jane: So, Gibson was a good guy. He just wanted the killing to stop. Tasha: He killed ten innocent people this morning. Good guys don't do that. Jane: You don't think good people ever do terrible things? Tasha: I think terrible people do terrible things. And the good people stop them.
Wow, okay. By this metric, none of the FBI team are good guys. They’ve ALL done morally questionable things to get through. Does Tasha consider herself a good guy? Does she consider the rest of her people good guys? She doesn’t treat them like she treats bad guys, that’s for sure.
And that’s because, for her, it doesn’t matter. Because herself and her people? They’re, by nature, exempt from her constructed morality, because it is secondary to her motivation to protect her own.
Okay, now on to the other “traditional Slytherin traits.”
The ones the wiki lists are:
Resourcefulness
Cunning
Ambition
Determination
Self-Preservation
Fraternity
Cleverness
Okay, moving through that—resourcefulness. The whole knife situation? Saving Reade’s ass after she thought he killed his ex-coach? Resourceful. When she was trapped in that basement with the women who were being trafficked, and managed to get everyone out, including herself? Resourceful. When she went undercover again, to the prison? And managed to execute all of Patterson’s plan for getting her out, as well as make Ronda Rousey (what was her character’s name again whoops) trust her, while being a prisoner, in a high security prison? If that isn’t resourcefulness, I don’t think I understand the word right.
Cunning—well, see above, and all the times she’s in interrogation. And doing, like, anything. She’s smart, and she knows how to use it, folks.
Ambition; less obvious, but yeah, she has ambition. As of S2, her ambition is I’m going to survive and so are my people, but we know that earlier she wanted more. See this conversation with Mayfair (also a huge, wonderful Slytherin deserving of love btw):
Tasha: I'd like to run a division one day, like you. Mayfair: Be careful what you wish for. Early on in my career, someone powerful approached me, asking for help. It was a big career opportunity. What he was asking me to do was... morally ambiguous at best. I went along. Told myself it was for the greater good, but in my gut, I knew that was a lie. Didn't sleep well back then. Still don't. Things went sideways and that powerful person was nowhere to be found. I was left alone to account for my actions, wishing that I'd trusted my gut. Whatever you're doing with Weitz, for Weitz, just make sure you can sleep at night.
Determination: well, she doesn’t quit. Like, ever. It’s both really impressive and irritating, especially when her people are trying to hide things from her—she gets on both Reade and Patterson’s backs when they’re not taking care of themselves, even when they would rather she not.
Self-preservation we’ve covered, as have we with fraternity. Cleverness has pretty much been covered, too, but if you need more proof: she can code, she has a remarkable memory, she’s quick on her feet, and she comes up with quips like nobody’s business.
Lastly, there’s the question of control.
In short, Tasha likes to be in it. One of the biggest things I kept running into while building the “self-preservation” section is that Tasha…is pretty darn self-destructive. We can divide that into two categories—personal self-destruction, and professional self-destruction. Professional self-destruction is kind of in her job description. She routinely makes the call that her life is less important than that of her teammates or her mission, which is also a part of her my team is the most important mindset she’s got going on.
But while the other characters on Blindspot are personally self-destructive for a greater purpose or for an escape, Tasha is self-destructive because she feels like it’s the only way she can keep her life in her own hands. See her speech during the one (1) time she went to Gambler’s Anonymous:
Tasha:  After [the death of her partner], I, uh... My life was a mess. His death was so random. So... You know, as dumb as it sounds, when I was gambling, I knew the rules. Even when I was losing, it was on my terms, it was something I could control. But it doesn't really feel that way anymore.
Also see the time in the prison where she let herself get beat up, with no back-up or safeguards:
Tasha: I was in total control. I could’ve put them all on the floor if I wanted. Kurt: Really? Tasha: Mm-hmm.
She’s reckless with herself, but only because it gives her something out of it. Control.
All of this isn’t to say that she’s not brave, smart, or hardworking—she is. But she’s also all of these things in a ridiculously Slytherin way.
tl;dr: Tasha is the most Slytherin character I think I’ve ever seen on TV and I love her with my whole entire heart. She’s also a lesbian, so jot that down.
Okay, next up: Edgar Reade.
My man Eddie is a Hufflepuff.
You might be thinking, hey, Sophie, did you just make this up so you could have Tasha and Reade reiterate the time-old Slytherin/Hufflepuff best friend duo? The answer would be no, but dude, this shoe fits like a glove.
But stop! you might think. Reade likes order, can be uptight. Isn’t that more Ravenclawish? And he’s brave…isn’t that more Gryffindor? And he can be suspicious of newcomers. Slytherin like Tasha?
Not really. The core question is: why does Reade do what he does? The answer is he cares about people. That’s what allows him to work, really:
Tasha, to Reade: Understanding, identifying with victims. That’s what makes you good at your job.
Reade tries to understand people—all people, from strangers to traitors to suspects. He cares about them, whether he should or not. That’s what makes him good at his job.
We see it especially in contrast to Tasha, when Jane and Mayfair have both “betrayed” them. He refuses to accept that at face value; he wants to believe the best in them. He’s loyal that way.
In Mayfair’s case, he starts here:
Tasha: [tells him her suspicions] Reade: Mayfair is the one person who always has our backs, I don't know where you're getting your information from. Who put a bug in your ear?
And then he continually refuses to suspect her, aiding and abetting her all the way. In one of their last conversations, he says:
Reade: Hey. Thanks. Mayfair: For what? Reade: For trusting me. Mayfair: Always.
For him, being trusted is one of the highest honors he could receive. And then, after Jane carries out Sandstorm’s plan and betrays the FBI—which Reade had long suspected and tried to stop, by the way—he still gives her reasonable doubt. The lens which he views her through is still fair.
Tasha: Mayfair's dead because of her. I wouldn't give her too much credit.  Reade: What do you mean?  Tasha: She lied to us, she's...  Reade: She's a pawn. She was a pawn for Sandstorm, now she's a pawn for us. Pawns get sacrificed. I almost feel sorry for her.  Tasha: [gives Reade a Look] Reade: Uh, be easy. I said 'almost.'
While he doesn’t absolve her of anything, he has the kindness to step back, even as he’s no doubt hurting from the betrayal just as much as Tasha.
He’s fair, he’s kind, he’s empathetic. He identifies with people and feels responsibility for them.
Unfortunately for him, that’s what fucks up his life pretty much constantly.
Take the whole Sarah shebang from S1, for example. Reade finds a girl he likes and who likes him. Reade is incredibly happy (Tasha: You were really happy with her. Like, happier than I've ever seen you). Weller tries to break them up, in a pretty douche move, tbh—Reade calls him out on his hypocrisy and won’t end it just for that. But then, he gets threatened. Sarah and Sawyer are put in danger.
He puts aside his own feelings, his own happiness, and ends it. Because he can’t stand to see his people hurt, not ever, and he will put aside himself in every situation to protect those he loves. And it damages him, but he does it anyway.
This is dialed up to the nines in S2.
(Disclaimer: none of this is a defense of the writing of Edgar Reade’s character, especially not in the second season. The writers were repeatedly lazy and dismissive of Reade as a person. However, I love him, so my analysis is going to look both at and through that to reach a conclusion about his character.)
Okay, here it comes, the biggie—the Freddy/Coach Jones situation.
The moment he hears Freddy’s side of the story, he immediately feels responsible. He feels guilty. And he knows he shouldn’t, but he still does.
Weller: I'm not much of a bartender. Hope you like your scotch neat. And in a paper cup. Reade: I know what you're gonna say. That none of this is my fault. There's no way I could have known the man I looked up to since I was a kid is such a monster. None of the lives he ruined are my responsibility. And you're right. I know all this. But it doesn't make it any easier to live with. And I can do without the lecture, to be honest.
He’s also a persistent guy. He puts in a ton of extra work to try and convince the prosecutor to take Coach Jones’s case to trial.
Then he gets hit with another bombshell—Freddy alleges that he was one of the boys that Coach Jones abused, too. And he loses himself.
And then Coach Jones is killed.
And he loses himself more.
All of that emotion that Reade is so good at feeling for others, all of that guilt and responsibility he felt for not being able to help Freddy with Coach Jones—it all magnifies back on himself in ways that he has no idea how to deal with.
Because Reade is great at caring about other people, but he is shit about caring for himself.
(This is where, if he were a Slytherin like Tasha, his self-preservation would kick in. But he’s not.)
So he turns to the one thing that makes him feel lighter again, and because knock-knock, hello, no healthy coping mechanisms here, that thing is drugs. They allow him to ignore everything he’s feeling without actually dealing with it. They make him experience some semblance of happiness.
Reade: For the first time in a while, I feel like I can breathe, like I can have fun again. Tasha: Who is she? Reade: It’s not even like that. Tasha: Well, you’d better not mess this one up. Reade: Tasha. Tasha: I’m serious. You deserve to be happy. So don’t let anyone get in the way of that, including yourself. I know how you get. Reade: I know.
This re-establishes that Reade putting himself behind others is a recurring character trait. See more:
Reade, about Freddy’s girlfriend who got him hooked on drugs: I just feel bad. I can tell she feels guilty, like she’s responsible or something. Tasha: That woman…she is not your problem. You can’t change what happened to Freddy, and you cannot change what he did. You gotta start taking care of yourself.
Again, there’s that intense commitment to others, loyalty to people in a more generalized sense, and dismissal of his own wellbeing.
If you need even more:
Reade, to Tasha: I can live with whatever happens to me, but I couldn’t if something were to happen to you.
Unfortunately for him, the drug route takes him away from his better nature. In trying to push people away, in attempting to remove them from his own mental health spiral, he ends up hurting and rejecting them. That’s a bad call, and one he regrets once he gets clean again.
Okay, now that that slight tangent is over, let’s review the wiki list for Hufflepuffs
Dedication
Repeatedly dedicated to his work, his friends and even to people he already knows.
Hard Work
As are all the people on this team, Reade is a lowkey workaholic.
Fair play
He’s fair, even to those who have betrayed him (Jane).
Patience
Less proof on this one, but hey, I’m a very impatient Hufflepuff so I’m letting it go.
Kindness
The man pours his heart out for every single person he cares about. Jesus Christ.
Tolerance
He seems tolerant? Idk we haven’t really gotten a good situation to grade this on, imo.
Loyalty
See the above twelve-hundred words for why he is loyal in both a personal and to-all-people sort of way.
One last, very ‘Puff speech:
Reade, to an emotionally exhausted Patterson: I know how you feel, Patterson, believe me. This job takes everything from all of us. But it gives back, too. It gives us a way to fight against all the garbage that’s piling up in the world. It gives us each other. It gives us family. And families fight. Sometimes, they lose hope. But what they damn sure don’t do is give up.
tl;dr: Reade’s a Hufflepuff, cool?
Next up: Patterson.
Patterson is…surprisingly hard? Because at first glance, she seems textbook Ravenclaw. If we were going to divide this into a primary/secondary model (primary: why she does things, secondary: how she does them) she would definitely be a Ravenclaw secondary. Everything she does is in a very Ravenclaw way. But are her motivations all Ravenclaw based? She’s actually pretty people-driven, and has quite a few Hufflepuff traits. And, because we know she’s also an avid Harry Potter fan, she might have seen herself a lot in Hermione growing up, especially because she is brave. But when it comes down to it, for a sorting, she’d get to choose.
And Patterson, well, I think Patterson would still choose Ravenclaw.
Okay, why?
She loves puzzles. She loves learning. And yeah, she could still pull a Hermione and be a nerd within a different house, but I think the appeal of Ravenclaw would be too much to resist. Could you imagine Patterson turning down the chance to answer a riddle every time she wanted to go to her common room? Or the chance to live with people who wouldn’t tease her for being nerdy, who might leave her alone every time she was hyper-focused on her new special interest?
(Girl wasn’t ready to let David, aka literal love of her life, live with her. She’s picky about roommates.)
Her sense of the world around her can also be described in terms of metaphorical puzzles. In this way, her point of view is partially constructed, like most Ravenclaws’. See here:
Patterson: Do you know what a tangram is? Jane: No. Patterson: It's a... it's a dissection puzzle consisting of flat geometric pieces, known as tans, which are put together to form elaborate shapes. This team has been one shape for a very long time. And you're a new piece. And we're just trying to figure out how you fit into all of this. But we're gonna find our new shape. It's just gonna take a second.
While her goal is to comfort Jane, to try and make her comfortable in the team environment in a welcoming, friendly way, she does so by making a comparison to an intellectual game. Morality = welcome new people, trust that they have a good heart; expression = clearly constructed, something Patterson doesn’t feel in her gut but has come up with in her head.
However, this constructed system always seems to involve people—she really loves her family, guys, like a lot.
Reade: The silent treatment, really? That's how we're playing this? Tasha: We said we were sorry. Patterson: I tell you guys everything! Tasha: We were aiding and abetting a fugitive. We were just trying to keep you out of it. Patterson: You were aiding and abetting Mayfair. Mayfair! I am happy to aid and abet Mayfair.
And then later in the episode:
Patterson: You guys are my family! If someone is threatening you, they're threatening me, but if you keep me in the dark I can't help you, and we're supposed to help each other, right? If something would have happened, and if there was something that I could have done and I... I can't take that.
Both of these quotes are remarkably close to quotes that Reade and Tasha have, and Patterson says them with such kindness, stubbornness, and protectiveness that I was looking at that badger awful hard. And then I got conflicted, because, as her gf Tasha points out, she’s also really darn brave:
Tasha, about Patterson: You just stopped a major terrorist attack. You’re one of the smartest, bravest people I know, and, uh, you’re allergic to cats.
So, again, a Hermione-Granger-Gryffindor scenario could have been back in the works.
But, as usual, her massive nerdiness won out.
Do you really need me to list all of the nerdy things Patterson says? 90% of her lines are either nerdy jokes or exposition. Do you really need me to list them?
She’s also, as we know, a genius. Like, bona fide.
Patterson: I have some preliminary theories, but obviously space is a little out of my wheelhouse. Patterson: [explains a really good fucking plan in space] Stand-in-FBI-Lady: And this isn’t your wheelhouse? Color me terrified.
And earlier, in an iconic line:
Patterson: Yes, you can for sure maintain enough airspeed. I did the math. Chief Inspector Fischer: How? Where? Patterson: In my head, where math is done. Please don't interrupt.
Morally, she’s also less gut-feeling than Jane or Kurt. She’s willing to budge the line a bit more, in the search of an end. To Patterson, if something makes sense, if it’s just an extension of something they’ve been doing, why not?
Kurt: How exactly did you crack the Bible verse tattoo? You told me on the phone you picked up the phrase on some chatter. Patterson: You're never this interested in how I solve the tattoos. Kurt: This one points to an off-the-book program being run out of this office, so I need to know what is happening under my watch, and I need to know now. Patterson: Uh, okay. I linked the tattoo database to a secret NSA data collection program. Kurt: Omaha? Nas told me it's very similar to Daylight. Patterson: Daylight on steroids is more accurate. Kurt: So you've been using illegal wiretaps to solve these tattoos? [Patterson is reluctant to say anything] Kurt: [losing his patience] Patterson. Patterson: This was the first one. Kurt: Really? Patterson: I know. It's just I have to use every resource that I have. We're running out of time to figure out what all of this adds up to. Kurt: That is my call to make, not yours. Understand?
This is a very interesting moral struggle that I’m definitely going to come back to in Kurt’s section. Regardless, the conflict here on Patterson’s end is clear; she needs to retrieve the knowledge that allows her to do her job, and NSA data collection is that retrieval tool. It’s helping her reach a greater end—to her morality, it makes sense, whether it feels wrong in her gut or not.
Very Ravenclaw.
Also, wowza, the culmination of the Borden ordeal. When she’s facing him, gun pointed at his face, and their conversation goes like this:
Borden: It’s okay, it’s okay. Any reasonable person would want to kill me. Patterson: Shut up! Borden: Your rage is completely normal— Patterson: Shut up! You don’t get to do that to me anymore! I’m not gonna kill you. I took an oath…. To my country, to the bureau. To uphold the law.
So Patterson’s not the best at processing her own emotions, right? Whenever she’s not sure how to face them, she kinda shoves them to the back of her mind and tries to outrun them with busywork. But here, there’s no time. Her constructed morality—which is pretty much mostly just ‘I trust the people I interact with unless they’re suspects” falls through when she’s confronted with a betrayal by someone she’s so close to. So she falls back on a different constructed model—guess what, another Ravenclaw trait—and speaks through the FBI’s code. Because for her, it’s both something she believes in and means she doesn’t have to process so much sudden interaction into her personal pre-existing program for how to deal with new situations.
Next—Ravenclaws are also very curious, right? Well, Patterson’s nothing if not curious. Curious to her detriment, even, especially about the tattoos. Patterson loves her job, dedicates an extreme amount of work to it—overworking chronically, and like, never taking a single day off—but she can be blinded to her duty by curiosity.
The David situation is a prime example:
Mayfair: Do you have any idea how dangerous your actions were? Those tattoos are not some Sunday morning crossword puzzle. They contain extremely sensitive, classified intelligence, all of which have led us to volatile criminal activity. You put the case, yourself, and a civilian at great risk. Patterson: I know. I—We were just trying to solve—I screwed up. I'm so sorry.
She was just trying to solve it. She just wanted to solve it. And in doing so, she was careless enough to put both David and her job in jeopardy. For her, discovering the truth behind the tattoos isn’t a matter of just saving lives or preventing attacks (though that’s definitely part of it). She is driven by her curiosity.
Here’s the point where I pull out that Ravenclaw traits list.
Intelligence
Wit
Wisdom
Creativity
Originality
Individuality
Intelligence—check.
Wit—
Mayfair: So, just a recap, ZOMO did or didn't design Jane's tattoos, did or didn't paint the burning rose, and then did or didn't steal it and try and blow us up? Patterson: Looks like we're making progress.
And:
Patterson: Does all the staring drive you crazy? Jane: I've never known anything different. Patterson: Right. Good point. Jane: Not like I can do anything about it. Patterson: Not unless... turtlenecks come back into fashion.
And:
Patterson: Do you see these propane tanks? What do you think “highly flammable” means?
And:
Patterson, nostalgically: I remember my first date. Took him forever to stop crying.
Wisdom—
Jane: [asks whether she can remove her tattoos] Patterson: As an agent, of course, I should tell you to keep them.  Jane: As... my friend?  Patterson: As your friend... I would say... it's your body. You should do what you want.
Creativity + Originality—the way she solves every problem ever.
Individuality—she’s got her own drum, and she fuckin marches to it.
tl;dr: though she’s more multi-faceted than some people like to think, I’m calling in Patterson as a Ravenclaw
Okay, this is like, an essay at this point. Fuck, this is seven times longer than the college application essay I should be writing right now. God why.
Next up is Kurt! Kurt is a Gryffindor.
This is pretty textbook. He’s got a gut, and he follows it without qualms. He’s headstrong, stubborn, and brave. He has a lot of machismo going on. He’s a very strong archetypal version of The Leader. He’s a bit of an idiot sometimes. His feelings can override his better sense.
Because this is my fourth one, this is probably going to be a little shorter than the others. Sorry, Kurt fans.
Okay, let’s start with his sense of right/wrong. According to sortinghatchats:
“Gryffindor Primaries trust their moral intuitions and have a need and a drive to live by them. They feel what’s right in their gut, and that matters and guides them. If they don’t listen to and act on that, it feels immoral.”
That’s very Kurt. Often—especially when he goes “screw the rules,” typically involving Jane—he’s behaving based on his gut instinct. Sure, as a trained FBI agent, he knows, logically that he shouldn’t do a lot of things he does. But when Jane asks for help, something about him goes, okay, yeah, that feels right. And when it doesn’t, he feels guilty, but occasionally does it anyway and then feels worse. And then takes it out on others.
(Not always, yeah. But more than a team leader/assistant director should, ngl.)
He can also be idealistic—he thinks there’s a concrete “right” way things should be done, and gets irritated if they’re not done that way. Kinda like Tasha—his morality is very black and white. Except Kurt…genuinely seems to believe it, and holds no one exempt from it.
Jane: You didn't have to... Kurt: Yeah, I did. It could've been you in that body bag. Jane: He was innocent. He never wanted any of this. Kurt: Someone puts my team at risk, or you at risk, I don't second guess. Jane: Things can be more complicated than they seem. Kurt: In this job, there are good guys and there are bad guys. It's not that complicated.
He doesn’t even hold his family apart—not Mayfair, when she betrayed him, not Jane, when she betrayed him, and not his father, when he thought he killed Taylor Shaw.
Kurt: The first time I came in here, remember what you did? You showed me that letter from the Bureau threatening Martin Luther King back in the corrupt Hoover days. A reminder not to abuse our authority. Mayfair: Weller... Kurt: You taught me how to do this job. Everyone here looks to me for what to do. I used to look at you. That's gone. I can't trust you anymore.
Kurt: Turn around, get on your knees, and put your hands on your head. Jane, raising her hands: I can explain. Kurt: You have the right to remain silent. Jane, on the brink of tears: Kurt... Kurt: Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Jane, crying: No, don't do this. Kurt: You have the right to an Attorney. Jane: You need to listen to me. Kurt: You said you remembered! You remembered what? Fishing? Camping with us? How? You lied to me. I let my father back into my life... into my home. I let him be around Sawyer! He killed her. And I let him back in... because of you. So turn around... get on your knees... put your hands on your head. I'm not gonna say it again. Do it. Put your hands on your head.
He doesn’t even hear them out, because they crossed his moral line. The line in his chest that tells him what’s right and what’s not. He even does this for smaller-scale situations, especially regarding his sister:
Reade: Look, I'm sorry it's your sister, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I... Kurt: Reade, don't. Reade: Kurt, I love her. Kurt: This conversation... this is the problem. I can't have your personal life interfering with our work. All right? Reade: A little hypocritical, but okay.
If Kurt were looking at it from a purely logical standpoint, he would understand that Reade’s right—he is being hypocritical. If he were vouching purely for his sister’s best interest, he would hear her side of the story. But because he’s been blinded by being told off for having feelings for Jane, because he’s always had this feeling that boys near his sister is not okay, he refuses to see all of that. It’s declared a moral wrong, even without external justification.
And wow, he can morally feel himself into ignoring of a LOT of proof:
Mayfair: Look, I know you want Jane to be Taylor Shaw... Kurt: This has nothing to do with what I want. Her DNA is Taylor's DNA. End of story. Mayfair: Kurt, you can't pick and choose evidence to suit your preferred narrative. I shouldn't have to tell you that. Have you told her yet? Kurt: There's nothing to tell.
Okay, but back to idealistic rights and wrongs—that passage from Patterson earlier, about the NSA surveillance program.
Kurt: How exactly did you crack the Bible verse tattoo? You told me on the phone you picked up the phrase on some chatter. Patterson: You're never this interested in how I solve the tattoos. Kurt: This one points to an off-the-book program being run out of this office, so I need to know what is happening under my watch, and I need to know now. Patterson: Uh, okay. I linked the tattoo database to a secret NSA data collection program. Kurt: Omaha? Nas told me it's very similar to Daylight. Patterson: Daylight on steroids is more accurate. Kurt: So you've been using illegal wiretaps to solve these tattoos? [Patterson is reluctant to say anything] Kurt: [losing his patience] Patterson. Patterson: This was the first one. Kurt: Really? Patterson: I know. It's just I have to use every resource that I have. We're running out of time to figure out what all of this adds up to. Kurt: That is my call to make, not yours. Understand?
This is black and white. For him, this is crossing a line. Greater good is gone, saving the lives this end could meet is gone, hearing out Patterson’s argument is gone. This is wrong to Kurt Weller, and he doesn’t need to think it through.
Okay, now we have the age-old wiki list. Here:
Bravery
Nerve
Chivalry
Courage
Daring
Now, if you ask me, these are all basically synonyms. And I don’t feel like I need to justify that Kurt is brave—the whole team is, they’re fictional FBI agents for crying out loud. They face bomb threats and shootings on the daily. Like…. Yeah, he’s brave. And he does let that bravery guide him, but he also lets his gut do that.
tl;dr: Kurt is a Gryff and I had more to say about him than I thought I did! Also for the record I think he should have less screentime, but no offense.
Finally, god, god, finally, we come to our last core cast member. And protagonist.
Jane is…also hard. Goddammit.
I’m going with Gryffindor, but I’m going to preface this with the fact that because she is reconstructing her identity, a lot of things about her are fluid. In fact, she may well be just modeling Gryffindor because Kurt is a Gryffindor, and he’s the first one she bonded with.
(I’m not going to be including any analysis of Remi, because, like, no thanks. She’s probably either a Gryff or Slytherin, though. Not gonna analyze it. Not gonna.)
Anyway, so. Jane. Literally shows up in a duffel bag in central square. Gets dragged into the FBI. Gets her entire body imaged. Finds out she knows like an entirely new language. Takes down an abusive asshole despite being like mentally 24 hours old. Doesn’t she like, get shot? And shoots a guy dead? And then she decides she wants to stay with the organization who put her through that? Oh yeah, she does.
Kurt: I don't think you were [a terrible person before all this], Jane. Whoever you were then... that's not who you are now. Jane: How do you know? Kurt: Your first instinct is to help people, Jane. Battered wife in Chinatown, Reade after the explosion today. You don't hesitate, you act. And you do the right thing. So, I don't know what it is you're remembering or what the context is. But I do think you're a good person.
She wants to do good, and she does so by immediately charging in and trying to set the problem right head on. Like, okay, the case for Gryffindor is pretty strong right off the bat.
It’s harder to make a case for Jane’s moral intuition, especially because it’s so flexible. A lot of her feelings are I wanna do what’s right but I don’t know what that is or who to trust!!!! Which, like, that’s understandable, babe, you were just popped out from the womb of a revolutionary extremist group into a corrupt facet of the American government. The idea of right is a pretty contentious one.
Like, repeatedly contentious:
Jane: I've seen the laws this country's willing to violate, and all I've seen Sandstorm do is expose corruption and save lives. How can you be so sure we're on the right side of this?
Nas: Look, everything they knew about you is a lie. You've got to give them time to forgive you. Jane: They handed me over to the CIA to be tortured and interrogated without charge or trial. As far as I can tell, this country runs on lies.
Oscar: Your colleagues, the FBI, they're into some very, very terrible things. Jane: No... they're good people and they're my friends. Oscar: Friends don't imprison you.
Part of her entire character is built on the fact that she doesn’t know what’s right, who to believe, and she’s trying to reorient her moral compass. Another part, though, is that that moral compass is a huge part of who she is—so much of her growth is centered around it, because she feels like she needs to determine rights and wrongs for herself. She needs to have her own internal sense of morality—unlike Slytherins or Ravenclaws, she’s not content to just adopt the models of others. That’s why, the moment she learns about choices (and choice is a BIG thing for Jane) she immediately starts to try and apply it to her ethics.
She’s always questioning complications, other people, how they figure out good and evil—
Jane: Her son killed three people and all she wants to do is hug him. Kurt: She got him back. That's all she cares about. Jane: Why haven't you forgiven your father. You know, he didn't - That you were wrong about that night. Kurt: It's more complicated than that. Jane: You always say that, But - Why? What's so complicated? Kurt: He was a terrible father. He was distant. He was drunk. Me being wrong about one night doesn't change any of that. Jane: But he's sick, right? [Weller hangs his head]
And she gets angry if someone takes that autonomy, that ability to determine her own self, away from her.
Kurt: Jane... I'm sorry that I brought you here, all right? I chose this life, you didn't. You never had a choice. Jane: Yes, I did.
Another defining part of who she is is her desire for a home, for a place to belong. She’s so achingly, achingly lonely. God.
Jane: So, the owl is just a personal thing? It didn't come from anywhere else? Because we can't find it referenced anywhere. Did you design it? Ana Montes: No. Jane: Well, do you know who did? Ana Montes: My brother. Jane: I saw in your file that he was killed last year. I'm sorry. Do you live alone now? Me too. It's hard, all that quiet. Ana Montes: I'm used to it. Jane: I'm not.
Damn.
Jane, in Russian: Let me help you. I know what it feels like to be alone and afraid. I was an orphan, too. The worst thing that can happen is not to have a home.
“The worst thing that can happen is not to have a home.”
God, well. Give me five minutes to recover my heart? I forgot how fucking devastating Jane was in S1.
Anyway. She obviously values having a home very highly. But she doesn’t do it like a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin would do it—a Slytherin or Puff would probably stay loyal to the FBI team, and would prioritize the people over the cause.
Jane needs to know that she’s joining the right side. That’s why she’s got so much conflict going on with Oscar and then later Sandstorm—while she loves her FBI team like family, she needs to make sure that she’s on the right side of any war, not just the side that they’re on.
(Gryffindor....)
As for the daring, nerve, courage, yadayadaya…well, the girl just like. Jumps off of fucking balconies and takes on guys five times her size. She was like the only female Navy SEAL. Like. Again, I don’t really think that’s the entire selling point of Gryff, but if you need pure bravery, she’s got it in spades.
tl;dr: I’ve pretty well convinced myself that Jane is a Gryffindor, but if you don’t agree, hit me up! I totally don’t think I’m the end-all-be-all of any of these.
I’m done now, so I should probably, go, like, be a functioning member of society or something.
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