#and he called it a fucking Karen compilation

[eve-was-framed]

“Karen compilation” and it’s just a compilation of women having a normal human reaction to being harassed in public

[scimagic]

SMG4: WOTFI 2024 Thoughts and Analysis Masterpost

WOTFI 2024 is finally here and I had so much fun watching it! I've even watched it a few times already!! I'm so glad this was my first ever live WOTFI, it makes me wish I knew of SMG4 earlier but alas! I'm still so happy I found SMG4 and it's wonderful community the way I did!

This is one large compilation of all my reactions, opinions and deeper analysis... -es on WOTFI 2024! I will go over the entirety of the video almost scene-to-scene with my OWN OPINIONS! (And yes, it gets hella long) I divided it into sections of the video and even included pictures for viewing convenience!

Hope you enjoy reading essays <33

Warning: Spoilers (duh).

✧ Before The Show

As said before this was my first live WOTFI, since the episodes release at 9AM for me I had to put on my alarm one hour before but I shut it off fhjkdsa

So you can imagine my panic when I had to make my breakfast 10 minutes before it started

Not my greatest planning but I managed to (somewhat) make it on time!

✧ Let's Jump Right In!!

WHUH HAPPEN

Loved the spin off of Mr Puzzles' jingle, I knew I was going to get it stuck in my head the moment the lyrics switched

I was amused when Puzzles re-enacted his life, thought he'd give a little more meat to work with but I'm glad he just explained what we already knew. Some of his charm lies in the mystery that is his life

"So I did what any ambitious, misunderstood young soul would do... I locked myself in my room and watched TV all day!" So real tho-

I'm surprised I didn't see many people react to Puzzles cursing so loud hfdskja maybe we're all busy with the rest of WOTFI but I SCREAMED when he went "-WERE VIOLENTLY FUCKING CRUSHED BY YOU LOT!!"

LET THAT MAN CUSS FREELY!!!!

"... yyyou!" <3

LOVE EVERYONE'S COSTUMES TOO!! They all look great!!

Maybe it's because of the teasers they gave but I thought the crew was going to go against Puzzles himself with the challenges, but pitting them against Mario and SMG4 made me pleasantly surprised (I will be a lot throughout all this!)

I ADORE THIS INTRO SO MUCH!! It's so fun and vibrant and the way it was animated was so cool!! I WANT THE POSTER SO BAD!!!

Haeheh big Puzzles from the website!!

Love how Saiko is just screaming at Puzzles too fhdskja

✧ Fun Carnival Torture Metho- Games!!

I didn't say what my challenge was but it was called Chuck N' Dunk: Who can dunk the other first in shark-infested waters?

It didn't make it but I do see shark-infested waters, so either I gave a bit of inspo or I'm just delusional hfdsjka

"I have to deal with internet comments all day! This is nothing!" HAH!!! THAT'S MY FUCKING YOUTUBER RIGHT THERE!!! (He still lost)

Love to see SMG3 and Puzzles appreciate the beauty of destruction together, gotta love two villains vibin over causing chaos, it'd make for a fun dynamic if SMG4 ever considers it

On that note, when SMG3 tries to shake Four's tight rope I knew that was Three straight up

Even under Puzzles' control, the cast still retains a bit of their personality, as shown here and in the Puzzlevision episodes

Bob has like- the coolest costume ever holy shit- I really wanna draw it some time

I KNOW IT'S JUST A MASK AND SOME RECOLORING ALRIGHT IT JUST FITS HIM AND HE LOOKS COOL

I LOVE HIM SO. FUCKING. MUCH. HE'S SO SMUG THE BASTARD

This is a really funny joke actually

PIE GUN GO BRRRRRRRRRRRR

I liked seeing Karen included in this WOTFI, she was a main character in a few episodes and her dynamic works well with the others! Just a tired mom wanting to work but pulled along silly adventures, grounding in a badass caring way

CHANGE THE WORLD. MY FINAL MESSAGE. GOODBYE!! God I haven't heard that meme in so long

Plus [Italian vc] YOU SONSOFFA BITCHES

"Hope you two have your running shoes on!" said in the gayest villain voice ever, I love him your honor

Bob going for the clown girl instead of the exit is the Bob-iest thing ever and it just drives my point of the crew retaining their personalities even under control, so people shouldn't be surprised when it happens fhdjksa (cus I've seen it!)

FOUR ONLY WINNING BECAUSE HE'S A CLOWN IS SO FUNNY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

So... Ben (SMG4's Thumbnail Artist) posted a lot of Gokus when someone mentioned Metallica's For Whom The Bell Tolls

That's why I thought there'd be some kind of reference to it in WOTFI which... now that I say it out loud sounds kinda dumb hfsjdka

But the moment Mario appeared as Goku I immediately thought of Ben and it had me gigglin fhdsjka

You'd think Tari would be in the ducky mini-game but you'd be wrong! <3

Final thoughts of the games, this year's WOTFI challenges were delightful!! They were all very clever from the audience and well chosen from the crew! Congratulations to the folks that got their prompt in!

✧ WHACK-A-LEGGY (aka forgive me father for this next part)

You........ CANNOT tell me he wouldn't treat you right- God- DAMN.

LISTEN. HEAR ME OUT. YES I'M GONNA BE SIMPY IN THIS REACTION POST FUCK YOU.

Puzzles is the type of guy to give you the best of the best simply because you say so and deserve it, doesn't matter if it's as tame as a big bouquet of flowers OR as extreme as absolutely destroying your enemies through the most painful torture you have ever witnessed

He would treat you RIGHT!!!!

THAT IS THE MOST PERFECT MAN RIGHT THERE

Oh yes and I love his interactions with Leggy, they're adorable, yes FHDSKJA

THEY MAKE A CUTE DUO

Speaking of Puzzles treating you right: I am on the FUCKING FLOOR. THAT MAN IS PROTECTIVE TOO.

It's just so endearing to me how protective he is of Leggy (yes yes I know I know he's done evil shit to Meggy I know) BUT LISTEN.

In an actual redemption arc, I can see Puzzles as the most loyal motherfucker that you've ever befriended, that man is going to go to the edge of the earth and fight for you if needed BECAUSE you're his friend and that is so lovely to me

It's cute how he's trying to tell Leggy where to go, where to hide and just how worried he is of her

Mind you, the contrast between Puzzles being worried and SMG4 and Mario wanting to curve-stomp that goomba to death is hilarious fhdsjka

So forgive me if I giggle like a schoolgirl over that man

✧ I'm Gonna Get Real With You For A Moment

MR STINKY

Oh this scene now- lots to unpack

First: Adore how this scene plays out, I love the portrayal of Puzzles' meltdown, induced by grief, sadness, anger and frustration over how things are playing out. It's a big "I'm supposed to win! Why don't you let me win!" moment, I simply adore when those happen.

The pitiful cries when you don't get your way when you've meticulously planned everything and done Everything to get it, and do everything did Puzzles indeed try

Second: The colors, the dramatic red light, the destruction of the park out of anger and overcharging it seems

It's basically a tantrum

Third: The voice acting is phenomenal, and that's been said all throughout the Puzzlevision arc, Brendan (Mr Puzzles' voice actor) is so good at his job- he's perfect in those high pitch inflictions of emotion and the lower threatening tones, that scream is chilling and painful

Fourth: I can try and decipher that blue screen

FATAL ERROR A problem has been detected and Mr. Puzzles has been shut down to prevent damage to himself. PUZZLEVISION.EXE Check to make sure any new show or movie is properly installed. If this is a new installation :It's not: ask your hardware or software manufacturer for any PUZZLEVISION updates you might need. :I don't need any: If problems continue, disable or remove any newly installed hardware or software. Disable CPU(?) memory options such as Unused Shows or Movies. If you need to use safe mode :I don't: to remove or disable components, restart yourself, press :nuhuh: to select Advanced Startup Options, and then select Safe Mode. :NO: Technical Information: *** STOP: 2xREADING (... xACTUALLY)

That last line is ineligible to me but I tried my best for y'all <3

Lots to unpack just in this tiny little message

In his system, Puzzles is programmed to shut down if damaged. Which is CRAZY TO THINK ABOUT. His OWN SYSTEM shuts down to prevent damage to himself.

Also he's SPEAKING THROUGH THE BLUESCREEN, he's actively saying No to "Safe Mode" and REFUSING any repairs his system suggests

THIS MAN DOES NOT CARE FOR HIS BODY (if you couldn't tell by the TV head part)

AND HE'S SO UNSERIOUS HE STRAIGHT UP TELLS HIS SYSTEM NUH UH!!!!

A little easter egg that someone else on Twitter found :)

Puzzles has become a rage horror monster and I'm here for it, the horror elements do go hard when they're played

URGH. AND THIS MOMENT. Many have pointed it out by now BUT THE TRAUMA OF THE CASTLE!! I AM SO WEAK

Puzzles REALLY plays into those psychological torture methods, it is so RUTHLESS of him, intentionally or not!!

✧ STEP RIGHT UP, MY FRIENDS, TO PUZZLEPARK!

He looks horrible in armor despite being everyone's pathetic knight in shining armor FHJDSKA

"You're MINE" I SURE AM SIR!!!

THAT GROWL THO- BRENDAN STRIKING AGAIN WITH THEM VOCALS!!!

AND THIS!! IS THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR OH BOY!!

The transition into the actual song is SO GOOD, instead of going higher like the actual Disney intro it goes LOWER and it's PERFECT for the intro!! It makes Puzzles sound INSANE (RIGHTFULLY SO!) It also tricks you because you know the melody so well until UH OH!! WE'RE IN DEEP SHIT!! LET'S GET THE FUCK IN!

3!

2!

1!

IMMEDIATELY threateningly playful I LOVE IT!!

It sounds so much like the songs in Nightmare Before Christmas, Kidnap Sandy Claws, Oogie Boogie's song, it has their same vibes! The same devilishly playful with their victims kind of vibes and it's RIGHT UP MY ALLEY BABY

It has SUCH an energizing beat too!! It makes you wanna jump in your seat to the beat!

The set up is so fun too, purple is an interesting choice to go with.

I cannot stress enough how GOOD THE VOCALS ARE TOO I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

AND THIS PART. GOES EXTREMELY HARD. THEY ALL LOOK GREAT

They cooked with the choir of minions fr!! They sound great together!!

The chorus of the song is just as catchy as Creative Control, I had worries that I wasn't going to like this one as much as CC but I was SO wrong!! It's right up it's alley! They both have their strengths and their unique way of presenting Mr Puzzles, I wouldn't be able to decide which one is "better" since they both have different points to send across

Creative Control is jazzier, it taunts the crew and introduces Puzzles as the master villain with a bit of backstory, it's used to show the control on the crew both visually and lyrically with Puzzles putting them in different scenarios while singing how they can't leave

Meanwhile Puzzlepark, while similar in the controlling part, has more going on. It's not just Puzzles trying to control/stop Meggy, SMG4 and Mario, it's also them fighting back when they couldn't in CC. It also has the rest of the group trying to detain them, mind-controlled by Puzzles. It's crazier than just putting them in shows and popular culture references, it's throwing things at them, attacking them and messing with the world, trying to enact revenge yknow!

I particularly like when Meggy and Puzzles sing together, their voices contrast well

"But it's time for you to die now." Haehah! Hello!! This is the part where I kill you!!

AND A LAWSUIT ARC REFERENCE TOO!? OH I'M IN HEAVEN!!!

The lyrics scratch at a very nice part of my brain, I think SMG4 has always had a knack for rhyming, they've perfected it over the years and it's paid off well

And combined with the change in beat it goes for extra points, mwah!! Chef's kiss!!

"That child is gone... Six feet under right WHERE YOU AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDS BELONG!!"

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART FUCKING EVER!!!! THEY ABSOLUTELY COOKED

IT'S ABOUT HOW THREATENING PUZZLES IS IT'S ABOUT MEGGY STILL TRYING TO HELP HIM DESPITE IT ALL IT'S ABOUT HIM ABSOLUTELY REFUSING THE HELP BECAUSE THAT'S. JUST. HIM. PUZZLES. REFUSES. HELP. THINGS go his way or they don't go at all!!!

AND THAT ENDING NOTE MYYYY GODDDD GIVE THIS MAN AN EMMY RIGHT ABOUT FUCKING NOW!!!!

That was such a clean note, Brendan has an amazing singing voice and I'll be listening to this on repeat for A WEEK

SMG4 RELEASE PUZZLEPARK ON SPOTIFY NOW AND MY LIFE!!! IS YOURS!!!!

✧ In The End... It's For The Better...

They like using the trope of going inside a character's brain/heart/whatever to talk to them huh...

I'm not saying it as a bad thing! It's just a pattern I'm sure we've all noticed! I think it's cute!

SMG4 wouldn't be SMG4 if they at least didn't Try to save their villains, sure there's distasteful ones like that lizard that absolutely deserved it, but all the other villains had redemption arcs, heart to hearts, sympathy before dying... SMG4 is about chances, finding your people and having a heart even towards those who wronged you, even if in the end the worst happens to them

And I think that's beautiful

Regardless of having a heart, however, Meggy has the absolute right to be angry at Puzzles, maybe it wasn't right but I don't blame her for snapping at a kid, that kid Is Puzzles after all

I see two possible interpretations of Meggy becoming Leggy one more time: either- Truly to get close to Puzzles and become a true friend, or simple manipulation to get him to stop. Either are possible in my book, maybe with a little more thought I'd be able to know which one but for now I remain satisfied with being skeptical on this one, I don't care to find what the real intentions were since I know the ending.

Plus nothing is in black and white, there's a lot of layers to Puzzles' and Meggy's relationship........

And speaking of that ending-

HAH!!!!

I THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS HILARIOUS!!

IN TRUE SMG4 FASHION YOU (SORTA) REDEEM A VILLAIN AND CELEBRATE SAVING THE DAY WITH A STUPID MEME

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO FOLKS IT'S SMG4 IT'S THE FUNNY HAHA MEME SHOW!!

STOP TAKING IT SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY THE WHOLE TIME!!

IT CAN BE SERIOUS AND STUPID!!!!

Mr Puzzles SHOULD go to the psych ward, HE'S FUCKING INSANE

YOU DON'T GET REDEEMED IMMEDIATELY AFTER ALL THAT!!

I'm glad they didn't redeem him completely! I didn't believe him at all when he said he learned a valuable lesson! I was like No The Fuck You Didn't!

You can have a redemption later! That's okay! I trust the writers with handling the arcs and making them good! And you heard Luke, they might bring him back later! (Which is a definite yes!)

I would love for them to take it slow with Puzzles, not immediately of course, let him breathe and write another arc right now, settle things with everything and everyone and THEN you can break him out, the universe is full of possibilities, and I'm SURE I will enjoy whatever the SMG4 crew writes

Haeheh she looks like a nerd with those goggles

Someone's Artist Puzzles AU just came true btw-

"And Didney shut down..!" :D

The Showgrounds is gonna start looking more like an actual carnival too!! Wahoo!!

I WANT THAT FUCKING HOODIE-

That Puzzle plushie looks so ugly I LOVE HIMMMM

I WANT THAT FUCKING POSTER AND KEYCHAIN

SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING COMMISSION ME SO I CAN BUY THEMMMMMM AEUGHHHHHH

Thank YOU LUKE AND SMG4 CREW FOR GIVING US THIS WOTFI!!! I LOVED IT WITH ALL MY HEART <33

I would love to hang out and go get some pizza with Mr Puzzles :(

And finally... that lil jingle to end with the rolling credits

✧ Final Thoughts

Believe me when I say I think this is the best possible ending for Puzzles, he doesn't die, he doesn't get completely redeemed, but he does face consequences and he gets a chance for the future, best of both worlds me thinks

I loved this rollercoaster that was Puzzlevision, I might've hopped on the train sorta late but I stayed for all the duration of the ride and I had a blast <3

Mr Puzzles was great and maliciously loveable, learning about all these characters and growing to care about them was amazing, I'm really happy I have a new series I can watch and analyze and enjoy!! I'll be remaining in my seat with my one ticket until I get off the SMG4 train, not sure when!! But until then you can expect me to still love this show, draw for it and analyze it much more than any reasonably normal person should.

If you've read this far, I love you soso much and hope you enjoyed this hell of a scroll, because I spent so many hours on this shit YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND-

K BYEEEE <333

[radioactive-metal]

Forever?

much like a falling air conditioning unit, inspiration has struck me as I wander.

So, I present, an outline for an AU, where things didn’t turn out well.

Situation Report:

15th October 2390

Compiled by agent 736782

For the eyes of Admiral Tyler Jones Only

As it stands, the Legion is stretched thin, beaten, and bloody. We are fighting in all sides, and can no longer in good conscience call ourselves a humanitarian organization. We are peace keepers now. We have occupied 1/3 of the former Terragov holdings, including Earth, are the only reason Sempirternity hasn’t declared independence, and now are the only reason the Waywalkers exist. The situation is rapidly becoming untenable sir. At this rate, we have 10 months before we can no longer replenish our losses.

The Main Players:

The Aurora Legion: Once the shining city upon the hill the entire galaxy looked towards, the legion is now fighting a desperate war it cannot hope to win. The Reforged close in from all sides, TerraGov has collapsed outright and much of the TDF is now AWOL. The legion is unrecognizable in its current state, having now occupied Sol, and much of Terra Govs other colonies. Forced to subsume much of the GIA, the legion has resorted to betraying its founding ideals in the name of survival. Currently led by Admiral Tyler Jones, who fights tooth and nail against the dying of the light he fought to hard to save before.

The Reforged: The assorted factions of the splintered Unbroken now rebuilt by the hand of a New Archon. Stripped of the old xenophobia and elitism, the Reforged accept any into their ranks provided they can prove their martial might. The dominant power in the galaxy, and the sworn enemy of the legion for their sheltering of the Waywalkers. Their armadas prowl the stars, hunting for prey. Led by the vicious Archon Idrabann.

The Changed: A nomadic mass of quasi-religious Zealots, this mysterious group wanders the galaxy, helping and harming in seemingly random patterns. Officially neutral in the war, neither side wishes to risk their ire, for their weapons are the finest in the galaxy. LED by a pair of unknown individuals, one seemingly human, and the other seemingly Beretreskan, based on voice patterns. these individuals are known as the Cured and the Forgiven. Significance of this is unknown. Reports indicate all members are mechanically augmented, with high augments corresponding to higher status.

Squad 312:

Tyler Jones: Admiral of the Aurora Legion, fighting a losing battle. Personality growing increasingly fractured from mounting stress, PTSD, and Depression.

Catherine Brannock: Revived. Currently serving as Tyler’s right hand and Head of Intelligence. Prone to referring to self as “we”. Aurora O’Malley: Deceased as of 2384. Killed by Free Syldrathi Way walker terrorist cell. Consciousness currently in the Rahaam Constellation.

Finian De Karen De Seel: missing since 2390. Lost after freak gravitational anomaly in the Fold on an expedition with Scarlett jones. Possible connection to the Changed.

Scarlett Jones: missing since 2390. Lost after freak gravitational anomaly in the Fold on an expedition with Finian De Karen De See. Possible connection to the Changed.

Kalliis Idrabaan Gilwraith: Last seen 2384 during the Massacre at Idron. Wanted by the galactic court for 193 counts of Murder. Rumors suggest he fled the planet and took control of an unbroken ship nearby.

Ok spoilers below for the major things I want to do with the characters

What actually happened:

Tyler is currently fucked up by basically being stretched across multiple timelines. The AU we see at the end of the first book is inexplicably tied to him. He is basically being ripped apart by time itself. Completely reliant on Cat emotionally.

Cat wasn’t removed from the Rahaam cleanly. And she dragged some of it back with her. Also now the spymaster of the legion. Maybe has some plans to drag Tyler back with her to the Rahaam.

aurora fucking died. Simple as. Some waywalkers were mad about Kal being on the planet and so tried to blow him up. They missed him and killed Aurora. She is also in the Rahaam now.

Scar and fin got fed to the eshvarens library. And they survived. Barely. Also ya know total psychological collapse and regeneration. They are fucking freaky. Now are attempting to ascend all life to mechanical perfection. Still very in love and it’s cute when they aren’t both eldritch horror robots.

Kal. Kal kal kal.

yeah Kal became his dad but insane. He butchered 193 people with his bare hands when Aurora died and then became the archon on the new unbroken. He hates the way walkers for killing his besh’mai and hates the legion even more for sheltering them. Started war when he heard about project Returner through spies. Tyler refuses to allow them to use it, because ripping consciousnesses from a giant gestalt that can warp reality is a bad fucking idea. Flip flops between basically his dad and completely deranged.

Oh and Saedii died. No particular reason I just couldn’t make her fit in here.

[shebeafancyflapjack]

The Thief

A small follow on from Claimed. Because I watched "Mama" (2013) basically. Set in @idiotwithanipad 's Gore AU.

-

She wasn't supposed to come back.

Scattering Louise's ashes was supposed to be her letting her daughter go. Moving on. But now she finds herself back here again, parking her car outside the gates and trudging through these dreary woods. She called the Lady of the big house a while ago to let her know she'd be on the premises again for a short while. The old woman was very amiable about it. As if she didn't really care what happened within the woods she owned.

Or perhaps, more like she didn't feel they really belonged to her.

Karen had felt that chill on the back of her neck the last time she was here. But it seemed to bite a lot deeper into her skin this time. She hadn't asked her remaining kids or her friend Sal to accompany her. This, she felt like, she needed to do alone.

She'd brought Louise into the world by herself. She would say her goodbyes the same way.

Not that her late husband hadn't been a part of their children's life. Far from it, he always seemed to take parenthood in his stride. But he'd been the one to want them and Karen had just kind of been...dragged along. For the sake of what was expected of her. And for the first two, that was fine. She had been pleasantly surprised by the love she felt for her son when she first held him. Her second, Lisa, hadn't been quite an instant bond but her first smile still broke her heart.

As for Louise, well...

Their deal had been two. Karen felt her body bad been put through enough with that. She'd been content. They could cope financially well enough with two. But then they had to have that one little slip up.

Had Martin's eyes not watered with joy at the result of the pregnancy test, there probably would never have been a Louise. And sometimes, in her darkest moments, she wondered if she might have got away with quietly 'dealing' with the accident without anyone being any the wiser. But Martin had wanted her and promised they'd make it work. It would be worth it.

And then she was born. Fuck.

Karen tightened her grip around the bag as she stepped through the eerily quiet woods. In the back of her mind, she remembers Louise infodumping about this place on their ride past. Records of mysterious events, hauntings and an ancient site dating back ten thousand years. So much energy, Mum, can't you feel it? Can't you?!

Nonsense. More silly garbage like her ramblings about the moon's phases and different crystals. Karen had just rolled her eyes and ignored her, searching for another ibuprofen.

But now, walking through the woods, twigs crunching at her feet....she feels it. She does.

There is something here. Something....old.

Unsettled.

Taking a breath, she remembers the day Louise was born. Premature. Martin had been on holiday with some friends but due back two days before she was due to give birth. She'd had to give birth to her with only doctors and nurses, praying that Martin would be able to get a quick flight home. The birth had been excruciating. About the same as her brother, except this time she didn't have the same euphoria afterwards the erase the pain like she had with him. Louise hadn't been placed in her arms right away as there was compilations with Karen's tear they had to fix. And then she passed out.

Would it have been different if she'd insisted on holding her straight away? Would that bond have been there? Because twenty minutes later, when the doctors brought her round, and she held her second daughter in her arms, she felt...nothing.

No love. No hate. No resentment. It was like they had handed her any random baby. She even quietly asked if they were sure it was the right one. The nurse assured her it would just take time for a bond to form. Patient.

Ha. Patience. Maybe that's what she should have called the girl. The ultimate irony.

Of course when Martin finally arrived, tanned and buzzing, he'd been dancing on sunshine as he picked her up and checked her over and peppered kisses on her brow. A spike of resentment had stabbed Karen then. How could he have gone on holiday so close and leave her to deal with this alone? How dare he find it so easy to bond with the kid when he's put in almost zero work?!

But Karen held her tongue and smiled, nodding along as he talked about how she was the most beautiful little thing he'd ever seen. Now, their first daughter was gorgeous, even at four it was obvious to Karen and others she would break hearts in the future. Sure, all babies look like misshapen potatoes at first, but mums are supposed to be blind to that.

Why wasn't she with this one?

But she'd waited. Waited for that motherly bond to snap into face. Oh the baby was so needy, so clingy, which when Martin was around was fine but....oh Karen already had a four and eight year old to cope with, she couldn't deal with another baby! And it was Martin who saw her first smile. Martin who first made her laugh. Daddy's girl. Fine. That was fair enough, given the other two were more attached to their mother.

If only Martin had stuck around on this world...Would he have somehow been able to save their daughter from a fucking aneurysm?

Finding the spot where the police found Louise's corpse, Karen kneels down, not caring about dirtying her old jeans. She takes out what's in the bag. Statuettes. Greek gods she never learned much about.

There was no single moment where she realised her daughter wasn't...normal. It had started some time around when their money troubles had. Karen had been itching to go back to work as soon as she could after Louise was at preschool. But they'd needed it, Martin had to accept a demotion and there was a recession. They couldn't afford to buy new things for Louise as they had their other two. So most of what she was given belonged to her older sister.

Except Louise was nothing like Lisa. She wasn't into pop music or dolls or pretty girly clothes. But she also wasn't a full tomboy either so even Brian's old stuff didn't appeal to her. If she was given a pink dress, she'd sometimes color it with black marker pen, ruining it. She much preferred having her head in a book than playing tag with other kids. She hated playing house. She preferred all the scarier Disney and kids films rather than the Princessy ones. She barely spoke a word unless it was about something she was interested in and then she would never shut up.

And it just...carried on like that. Everyone kept saying all her strange habits and fixations would be a phase. Her mood swings and random meltdowns over little things was just growing pains. Childish tantrums. There was nothing 'wrong' with her, teachers always said she was a Delight to have in class, but sometimes had trouble focusing. Other kids though...

Karen knew mothers should always defend their children. But, as her older two often said, Louise seemed to bring it on herself. She wasn't a nasty kid by any means. If anything she was too kind and generous to the point Karen wanted to scream at her to grow a fucking backbone. Sometimes she did. Sometimes she would have to pick the kid up from school because she was crying so much after what some other kids called her and, instead of hugging her, she'd shook the girl by the shoulders and told her to Stop Being So Fucking Sensetive!

When her dad came home from work later, Karen had let him hug her and do all that softy softy stuff. The girl could do no wrong in his books, and maybe if Louise had been a boy then she'd have appreciated how much like her dad she was when they'd first met.

Maybe she had turned a blind eye to Brian and Lisa's harsher playing with her. But she understood that they wanted the same as she. Just for the girl to toughen up. Take her head out of the clouds. Live in the real world and grow a thick skin.

No chance of that now. Karen sighed as she dug a small hole near to where they scattered her ashes and began to bury the statuettes.

"Why couldn't you have just been....normal?" Karen lamented.

She felt sad...because she wasn't sad. Not like she should be. Not like she had when Martin passed away or her parents. Not like she would be with Brian and Lisa or her granddaughters.

It was tragic to admit but.....her youngest child simply hadn't been that big a presence in her life to miss. If anything, Louise had given her a strange gift. She was free now. Her other two had flown the nest and....She could finally live without anyone tying her down.

Karen exhaled in relief at the sudden epiphany. Perhaps she should be thanking her daughter, even if her death hadn't been suicide. It felt as though she'd come here and done this strange ritual to....escape. And she had.

They both were finally were they wanted.

Karen rubbed her face, not a single tear shed, and rose to her feet.

She turned around and gasped, her heart skipping a beat at the sight before her.

A monstrous being of bone and crisp skin and tattered medieval clothes hovered before her, surrounded by an aura of black smoke and crackling embers. Karen clutched at her chest, panicked that she might have a heart attack.

Two sunken, burning orange eyes leered at her from the sockets of a charred human skull.

Was it a trick? A costume? No...Karen could see the lack of feet beneath the frayed ends of the creature's skirts.

Not a trick of the light. It was the middle of the afternoon.

"Wha...What are...." She stammered, reeling back and reaching into her handbag for her mobile.

With a raging hiss, the creature lunged forward and grabbed Karen's wrist, twisting it back until she heard a satisfying Snap!

Karen screamed and fell to her knees.

Fuck. No. That was real. That was fucking real!

The bony hand gripped her jaw and forced her to look up.

"WHY DIDST THOU RETURN?!" The creature demands to know.

"I...I-I..."

"Three I's? Oh we are conceited young crone, aren't we!" The skeleton pulled Karen back up to her feet; "You was not 'sposed to set foot 'pon these lands again!"

"I...I don't understand. Who are you?" What are you, should be the better question.

A savage twitch appears in what little skin remains around the creature's lips.

"Why dost thou care? Thou thought not to who I be or my pain when you didst snatch mine own baby from me!"

Karen's eyes widened.

"I....I did no such thing! I've never stolen a baby!"

"LIAR!"

The ghost threw her back down to the floor. Karen coughed on the rising smoke billowing around her. Was this all real? The pain in her arms surely was. The black air poisoning her lungs with each breath...

She turned, "You...You have me confused with someone else..."

A snap as the ghost tilted it's head.

"Didst I now? The last four hundred years of misery and pains over my lost daughter were all but a musunderstanding?!"

"I wasn't alive four hundred years ago!" Karen protested.

"You Fae and your trickery. How yous managed to stay the same all this time. Was it my little'en? Dids you feed off her light as thy own fountain of youth?!"

Now the wraith really was talking nonsense. Karen could see there would be no talking rationally to her.

"Wh-whatever you think I did....I'm sorry. Please just....let me go home. I won't come here again." She promised, cradling her wrist; "I just wanted to say goodbye to my daughter."

The monster stared her down, bony fingers clenching and unclenching at her sides.

"What be her name?" She asks.

Karen gulps; "Lou....Louise Jones."

"WRONG!"

Before Karen had a hope of moving, the ghost grabbed her by the throat and held her high. Her fingers burned hot as a ceramic stove against her skin. Karen wanted to scream but could barely breathe.

Two flames burned bright and furious in those sockets as she held Karen face to face.

"Her name be Silver Guppy. You dids steal her from me." She seethed; "That be a horrid crime as is...but worse. I dids look into my darling girl's memories. I saws all that's you did...or rather, dids not do for her. T'is one thing to pretend to be her mother. T'is another not to act like one when she needed it!"

S-Silver? That was the name she'd started to insist she wanted to change it to, shortly before her death. They'd all waved it off. Refused to indulge her such a silly fantasy. No doubt she'd realise how dumb it would be in a year or so.

How did this....thing know about that name?

"I....I tried..." She pledged.

The skull roars at her, black smoke caking her face, her eyes, staining her teeth.

"YOU SHOULDS HAVE TRIED HARDER! You mades her feel broken! When you was the broken one! YOU FAILED AS A MOTHER!"

Tears stung Karen's eyes as the long buried and ignored guilt rose up inside of her. She'd always had people to assure her otherwise. Her other children were 'normal'. Louise had been strange. Difficult. Weird. Not her fault. Not her fault.

Her dad wasn't supposed to die. He was supposed to be around to give her the love that Karen couldn't find in her.

Not her fault.

One of the witch's tendrils of smoke tightened around Karen's broken wrist. She wanted to scream louder but the rest of the smoke was smothering her.

"Say it. I give you this chance. Say it as thy proper goodbye." The ghost sneers; "Say....Her name was Silver. And I should have done Better. Say it, thief!"

The pillow of smoke was removed from her mouth.

Karen gasped.

"H-her name was....S-Silver...And....And I sh-should have done better...."

She's shaking like a leaf as the ghost releases her and she lands in the dirt on her hands and knees, retching.

The ghost's contemptuous heavy breathing towered over her.

"Never return. Forget there ever was a babe called Louise. She never existed." The wraith commands; "And if thy bullies of brats set foot here again, they shall also suffer my wrath."

"Please....I'll g-go....They won't...."

"Mummy!"

A high pitched voice sings through the trees. Karen stills.

"Mummy, where are you? Hehehe, are we playing Hide and Seek?"

It can't be. Karen blinks, peering through the trees.

"L-Lou-?"

The wraith grabs her hair and pulls Karen back to her feet, shoving her in the opposite direction.

"Not another word. Not another step. Leave me and my darling girl be." She orders.

"But...that...That's my-" a strange, unexpected yearning like nothing she'd felt for her youngest before suddenly sparked within her.

As if she had a second chance to fix things. Or at the very least, apologise.

If she could just see her....

"NO!" The wraith raises her many limbs of smoke, embers flying into the air, staring Karen down with all her might; "She. Is. MINE!"

There was no chance. No point even trying her luck against a....thing like this. Not unless she also wanted to be burned to a charred husk.

Swallowing that shred of a desire to make things right, Karen turned on her heel. And ran.

-

Rage continued to simmer in Mary's old bones until the wicked beast had finally left her land. It had been an effort to resist the temptation to set the wench aflame. But then that would run the risk of having her stay. She woulds never do that to her little girl.

Having been the youngest of several children, she knew what it meant to feel insignificant to a busy mother. Both she and John had agreed to only have two or three little ones so they'd each get plenty of love. Now she had Silver and only Silver. There was no need for her to feel left out or a burden again. To Mary, she was her reason to carry on existing.

For all her failings and neglect and emotional abuse, the Thief had kept Silver alive for all these years. Reasonably provided for, allowed to grow into adolescence. Mary felt she owed her that much to spare her life. Hopefully that wrist would never fully heal. A constant reminder never to darken this forest again.

Settling her powers, Mary slipped into the shadows between the trees, just as a young woman with pink and black hair came twirling near the clearing.

"Mummy, are you here? I thought I could smell you. Are you cooking dinner, hehehe?" She asked, her blind eyes seeing a painted veil cast over the real forest around her, taking her to an enchanted wonderland.

She stood in the centre, bouncing on her boots and glancing around.

"GOT YOU!"

Silver squealed as Mary appeared behind her in a sudden swirl of smoke, attacking the girl's sides with tickling fingers.

The teenager giggled and squirmed before tugging herself away to freedom.

"Hahaha, I knew it! I knew you were hiding! Were you talking to someone too?" The child asked, "I thought I heard voices, hehehe."

Mary stroked her daughter's fringe; "Oh I just be conversing with the forest dryads, darling girl. Boring grown up stuff." She poked Silver's nose; "If I be you, I'd be worried more abouts finding a hiding place! It be Mummy's turn to looks next!"

"Haha, I know a good one!" She grinned.

"Wait..."

Silver paused.

Mary hovered close and wrapped her arms tight around her little girl, ignoring her own discomfort as her dry, blackened skin crumbled and cracked against the weight of the child.

"You knows Mummy loves you. Don't you, darling girl?"

"Hehehe, yes, Mummy. You only tell me every day!" She grinned, resting her head against her mother's blistered chest.

Mary kissed the top of her head, her heart aching at all the time they'd been apart. All the years they'd both spent feeling lost, lonely and misunderstood.

"Just wanted yous to know, you is perfect to me, little one."

Silver sighed, "I know, Mummy. Love you too. Now let's play, hehehe."

[eurofox]

That quote 'women are unaware how much men hate them' and it's pretty apt right now.

Over the last few years I've spent time looking in manosphere circles and this stuff has been brewing the last few years.

There are compilation videos on YouTube by MGTOW (men going there on way) of women that they hate. Mostly tiktoks about dating and feminism. The comments are full of men who talk about how much they hate 'modern women', they hate that were in the workforce, they hate that women have 'high standards' for dating, the gate childless women, they hate career women, they hate single mothers, they hate religious women 'chameleons' they call them, they hate slutty women and they hate that we can divorce now. A lot of them hate their own female relatives.

It's a real visceral hatred. One comment was a guy saying he only spoke to women when he imagined them as an inferior being. Another said all he imagines when women speak was whether or not his dick fits in her mouth. They discuss rolling back the clock on women's rights or talk about women causing the downfall of the west.

They lament the lack of pure women, saying even 18 year olds are 'ran through', used up, smashed, have '1000 cock stare', unable to pair bond, hypergamous whores. Women over 30 are dried up hags who are hysterical, bitter Karen's destined to either die with cats and wine or divorce rape a beta.

When you look at their profiles a lot seem to normal guys. You wouldn't spot them in the wild. And there is a lot of them. People obsess about white male republicans but a lot of them aren't. A lot of these manosphere channels are run by black men. A lot of comments are left by Indian men who complain about Indian women getting 'tainted' by Western feminism. Stuff like fresh and fit is a starting point but these guys get crazier the more you follow the algorithm. Some are religious but a lot aren't. I saw a lot of 'i hate Muslims but Islam is right about women'.

There's a black manosphere guy who films foreign women in his Uber and asks them 'why aren't American women feminine anymore?' and puts up the videos despite them saying they're uncomfortable

They share tips on getting a young, untainted wife from poorer countries. A lot share videos of their trips to South America or Asia surrounded by young women (sometimes VERY young).

You also have the tradmen, who claim to care for women but also believe they are inferior and illogical, best kept at home to serve and raise babies. They will say they value women's natural role', but it's telling that this role requires financial dependence and an inability to leave no matter what (these guys get angriest about divorce). These are the ones who feel most cheated that an income is no longer all a man really needs to land himself the attractive 20 something he feels he deserves.

Then you have guys really angry about the dating market, whine about Chad and Stacey, the 80/20 rule, height standards and hypergamy. They talk about living for the day women 'hit the wall' and they can laugh at their teenage crush getting older and less attractive. I've seen comments where they hope women ask them out, so they can have the satisfaction of turning them down cruelly.

They can't be normal about anything. One Brit talked about going for a walk, and said all the 30 something women he encountered looked miserable. A woman posts a video of her dog and they assume she's fucking it (dogpill they call it, pornrot more like). A woman posts a video for women about life over 30 and they swarm the comments to say how unattractive she is and that women expire.

There are lots of alpha male type accounts on twitter, usually fronted as fitness advice for men. But there are a lot of posts about women being illogical, childlike, simple minded and often just evil. Lot of younger guys follow these and again, chat about how to bring women to heel.

I know as a woman that being aware of this is very straining for mental health. But I don't think pretending these guys are a handful of gross yet mostly harmless trolls is a good idea. And they aren't just cis white men in their mums basement either. The subway shooter was deep in this manosphere stuff, as was the Toronto van killer, yoga shooter and more I'm sure.

A lot talk about wanting sons, but also how they'd never ever want a daughter. The hate is that deep rooted. The she's someone's daughter' isn't going to help them see women's humanity.

Keeping women dependent is what a lot of these guys want. And some don't even want a wife out of it, just putting women back 'in their place' is enough to make them happy. They love watching videos of women being upset, revel in it.

Removing the right to abortion is one step, they are already talking about repealing women's right to vote and a lot want women out of the workplace.

Like idk what the solution is, but these guys are out there and would like to get more extreme.

[k3rm1e]

dadza & sbi

a continuation of yesterday’s ask-

hiiii i know i haz been lurk 🐮 Anoon for a good bitz but I haz an idea fro DadBoyHalo and Dadza(sepretz courze!!) havingz to take care of their very chaos childrenz(DadBoyHalo wif Sapnap + reader, Dadza with SBI + reader) ówò?

Thankz yuuuu!!!

-🐮 Anoon

🐮anon i am here with dadza! thank you for the patient waiting ;-;

i am referring to the samsung refrigerator as sam bc i have no clue what to address her as (ﾟωﾟ；)

this also went off track but whatever lmao

cw: swearing

dadza:

phil did not expect this when he decided to have kids. in the beginning, he was only planning on the one. wilbur was the sweetest kid ever when he was born. never caused any trouble, was peaceful. hell, the kid seemed like he would rather play music 24/7 before yelling at a single person. then again, his wife was always too caring.

when he traveled to the nether with sam, taking his son with him for the first time, he didn’t expect to acquire another kid. they were walking along an old path that had been made year before, when suddenly wilbur started shouting, pointing at a small pink figure.

the baby piglin was surrounded by bigger, larger piglins. they were trying to take his gold as he fearfully warded them off. sam, with her large heart, urged phil to go save the child as she protected wilbur. through a long fight with grunts and yells, he had saved the kid.

“hello, young one. are you alright?” the piglin regarded him suspiciously, not knowing if he would hurt him. phil, from the corner of his eye, saw the kid eyeing the gold on the ground. “you want your shit back, mate?” phil turned around and quickly picked up the goods. “here you go, kid.” and from there, he had suddenly acquired another ward.

within the next few years, tensions rose. the young piglin, who phil had named technoblade, was slowly learning english. he wanted to learn how to fight, to protect himself and not end up in a situation like the one phil had saved him from. sam did not approved of this, ever the passive refrigerator. phil and sam argued nearly all the time. wilbur and techno began spending more time together, out of the house.

“techno, it's not your fault. you know that right?” wilbur was walking with techno, his guitar on his back. the house was no longer a good place to hangout, so they walked into town.

“well of course its not, wil. i know that, at the very least. i’m just trying to protect myself, the same as phil does. in the future i could even win competitions, make us some extra money.” the two boys were walking and talking, when suddenly they ran into a loud blonde kid who was with someone else they couldn’t really see.

“hey! watch where you’re going, kid!” wilbur yelled a the shorter blonde, who knocked him over.

“oh, fuck off, will you? i didn’t mean to, you don’t have to be a prick about it.” wilbur looked flabergasted at this, a kid much younger than him having this type of mouth?

“hey! do not fucking speak to me that way, do you understand?” wilbur pointed at the two kids, looking like a so-called ‘karen’ in the internet compilations.

“oh come on, dude, you just swore and you look only a few years older than me! don’t be a fucking hypocrite.” you looked sternly at the brown-haired male, watching his mouth open and close, like a fish.

“wilbur, you know we both swore at that age. give them a break, will ya?” techno was smirking at the two of you, knowing he was pissing wilbur off.

“ugh, whatever techno. fuck off, mate.”

the two boys continued walking into town, done with the conversation. but your blonde friend, apparently, may not have been. “c’mon! let’s follow them!”

“uhh, why tommy? it’ll bring us nothing but trouble.” you were confused at what tommy was getting at, but you knew it was nothing good.

“and? trouble is my middle name, obviously.” he grabbed you hand and began dragging you in the direction the boys went.

when you arrived in town center, wilbur was seen talking to a shorter girl, while the piglin was arguing with a figure wearing green. tommy turned to you, “i’ll go talk to the cool one, you can go talk to the cunt who berated us for swearing.” knowing that once tommy made a decision he wouldn’t change his mind, you gave in.

walking over slowly, you noticed when you caught the boy’s attention. he looked over to you and his face darkened. “not you again… what do you want?”

“who’s this?” the girl he was talking to you looked over to you. you smiled at her and told her your name. “that’s a nice name. i’m niki.”

the two of you shook hands and she moved over for you to sit down. wilbur, begrudgingly, allowed you to sit and chat with them. for about three hours, you all sat talking. after a bit of pleading, wilbur had pulled out his guitar and was playing you a song.  that was, until tommy ran over with techno as they were being chased a boy with a smiling mask, a boy with a white headband, and one with strange glasses.

“techno! what the fuck did you do now!?” wilbur stood up and began yelling at the piglin.

instead of a response, he was met with tommy screaming, “STOP CHASING ME, YOU FUCKIN’ BITCH! THIS IS CHILD ABUSE, I AM A MINOR!!! A MINOR!!”

“god fucking damnit, tech!” wilbur jumped up and dragged you with him. now all three of you were running from the boys.

once you had arrived in the forest clearing, wilbur was immediately on technoblade and tommy’s asses about what had happened.

“what. did. you. do.” wilbur was staring at them, his hands on his hips.

techno tried to explain, before tommy cut in “wilbur, i have done nothing. i was simply being a respectful citizen-”

“those terrible cunts were being terrible bitches to us, wilbur! they were threatening the blade here, saying we couldn't fight. but i showed them!” tommy seemed incredibly proud of himself.

“techno, what did this demon child do?” wilbur was staring at nothing, looking dead inside.

“i am now participating in a duel with dream tomorrow, at 4:20 P.M.” wilbur looked extremely pale at this, like he was begging god for mercy.

the four of you walked back to phil’s house. wilbur felt too guilty to leave you guys in  town, especially when tommy had gotten into a fight with dream.

when you arrived at the house, phil immediately pulled you in, seeing that you guys were covered in cuts and bruises. when you went in, sam was nowhere to be seen.

“what the hell happened? why are there two very dirty children with you and why is techno smirking like that?”

after an explanation from the two of, phil began tending to your wounds. “wilbur, techno, go clear out the guest room for these two. we’ll talk more tonight. once you and tommy were nicely bandaged and clean, you were sent to the guest bedroom.

“you think we’ll be safe here, tommy?” you turned over to look at your friend who was in the bed across from yours. for years, you had been living on the streets, surviving off the bread the nice lady would provide you with.

“of course we will. we’re big men, you know that. besides, did you see techno over there? we’ll be just fine.”

“thanks tommy. love you, mate.” you smiled at tommy.

“night. love you too, big man."

in the morning, at the duel between technoblade and dream, it was suspenseful. even when you felt like he would lose hope, techno pulled through. even if sam had left and and was now in the dump, phil knew it would be okay. he acquired to new kids and would make sure they had a better life than the one they had before.

i hope you liked this one 🐮 anon! <3

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Yandere Matt Murdock

Matt first meets you as Daredevil when he's out on patrol in Hell's Kitchen, looking out for trouble. He comes across you being mugged by some lowlife. Jumping off the rooftop he's peering from, he kicks the muggers' ass before leaving him tied up for the cops. He moves his attention back to you, hearing your heart beating wildly, he tries to coax you to calm down.

Once your calm, you begin thanking him profusely for saving you. And Matt's pretty taken by your voice. Despite the adrenaline and faint trembling in your voice after almost getting mugged, there's still something calming about it. Something serene.

Matt's also pretty taken with your smell. Being pretty perceptive to the light and airy scent, mixing with your sweat. It's nothing suffocating or smothering. Just soothing.

He helps you to your feet before having to take off to fight more trouble. But before he can get your name, you're already thanking him again. Telling him to"stay safe", then taking off walking, presumably in the direction of your home.

Matt stays there only a second longer, letting your words sink in. Something about a hero being told to stay safe is both comical and endearing. Especially being told by someone you just saved.

The next time Matt meets you, he's shocked to say the least. Your being held on charges of murdering your father. He knows it's you because of your familiar heartbeat and smell. But also by your voice. The same trembling and adrenaline as the night he saved you, but there's no calmness in your tone this time. Only showing how affected you are by this.

He doesn't need to see, to know you look disheveled and distraught. Anyone would be in this situation, let alone if they didn't even commit the crime their being accused of. He can already tell you had nothing to do with the murder. Accepting your case right away, not letting Foggy get a word in otherwise.

You're so relieved that someone believes you. Getting let out on bail you go with your new lawyers to their office to further discuss your case. Thanking them all the while for helping you.

Once you get to their office, you meet their secretary/receptionist Karen Paige, who is nice and inviting. She listens in on your retelling of what happened that awful night, and sympathizes with you, having gone through the same thing. She guarantees that the Nelson and Murdock law office will help you. She has you feeling even more appreciative towards your lawyers. And secure about your case.

Matt is even more interested once you've retold what happened that night. He knows something's off, things just aren't adding up. And he wants to know why.

Asking if you have somewhere to stay, you bring up your boyfriend and how you can stay with him. But Matt says something about you not being able to stay with him. Saying that whatever, or whoever is involved may target your boyfriend too. Thinking about it, you agree to staying with Matt. Why would your lawyer lie to you?

But Matt just didn't want you going to your boyfriend's. He doesn't know what came over him but he didn't like hearing that you had one. Hearing your heartbeat raise out of fondness for when you mentioned your significant other, had Matt feeling some type of way.

When Matt gets you to his apartment, he starts feeling embarrassed, not sure if it'll be up to your standards. But once you see it, you voice your contentment for the simplistic appeal of the apartment.

After spending the next few weeks together, you and Matt grow closer. He's been compiling all the evidence he's got for your case when he overhears a phone call you're having with your boyfriend. And from what he can hear, he doesn't like said boyfriend. Deciding to visit him as Daredevil that same night.

Once you've gone to sleep, Matt puts on his Daredevil getup and leaves to see what he can get on your boyfriend.

When he gets to his apartment, Matt's shocked to hear your boyfriend speaking Russian on the phone. You never said anything about your boyfriend knowing Russian. He can make out that their conversing about you. And it doesn't sound good.

Busting through the window, Matt starts fighting with your boyfriend. Demanding answers about what happened to your father and what they know about you. Not getting much cooperation, Matt starts really taking out his anger on him.

Laying beaten, bruised, broken, and bleeding out, Matt tries one more time, asking what your boyfriend knows. Coming clean, he reveals everything. How your father got into shady business deals with the Russian mafia. How he needed to be dealt with. And that's where your boyfriend came in, only "dating" you to get easier access to your father. Killing him and planning on framing you for the murder.

Matt is beyond pissed. You were only another piece to their fucked up game. Not really having anything to do with the Russians directly. Matt knows he can't kill him, otherwise it'd be harder to prove your innocence, so he hits him one more time before leaving him for the police with a full handwritten confession.

He heads back to his apartment, where he knows your safe, asleep. Quietly making his way through to the bathroom, Matt cleans himself up. When he's done he heads to the couch for some much needed rest. Knowing he'll wake up tomorrow to your proven innocence and your soon to be ex relationship, Matt goes to sleep without a care. Only being able to think about seeing your warm smile in the morning.

[controloffandoms]

The Writers are out to play today

-the fact Veronica lives in the same apartment building as Buck

-Buck to Albert "We have to move"

-That whole Turkey scene with Buck and Eddie (I'm still laughing about it)

-That look Hen and Buck gave each other as the Turkey call ended

-The fact that there was a Turkey call in the first place

-That one woman that was listing off all the people she gave synthesized weed to

-Albert giving TV relationship advice

-Buck's whole date, I felt so bad for him

-"But I was there first"

-"I think he's onto us" - May Grant

-Bobby running with Michael's idea

-The trash run (omg, so fucking hilarious)

-"Michael did help me break into a bank vault once"

-(Though this story line of the off the books surgery stuff is not funny, but I love the fact that it's Michael, David, and Bobby all together figuring this shit out...but they needed to loop in Athena)

-(I support the amatuer detectives)

-(I don't like Hen's mom rn)

-(Loving the Hen and Karen moments)

-Athena's look when Michael congratulates his Detective skills

-(Now I feel a little bad about my previous judgement of Hen's mom, but I stand by it because it wasn't right for her to treat Hen that way when she was younger. Like, because she was proud, she shouldn't have made those demeaning comments towards her "isn't she too old for Med School")

-"Sometimes tomorrow shows up and bites you in the ass" -story of my life

-(I do want Hen and her mom to have a relationship though...it seems like it could be good for both of them)

-(I love the compilation at the end)

-OMG ALBERT AND VERONICA

-Buck: "Now I NEED TO MOVE" is the sentiment of that look Buck gave Albert

___

LS

-the saturation drop is the funniest

-"Have I hit the arc of the covenent? Have I gone too far?"

- Lmao owen and gwyn's conversations always get me - it moves so fast and it always has a joke or two during it

-"did you just call me fat?" (call back to Buck's disaster date earlier)

- "there's gonna be swapping?"

-Owen is a little bit of a control freak

-(LOVE PARAMEDIC TK)

-"I don't need to check the other one, right?"

-(Detective Paul at your service, love it)

-The blenders? Owen, seriously? XD

-"This is a hostile takeover"

-(I have a cat slow tea steeper, so I support that addition)

-"You shoot one holiday play vertically..."

-TK antagonizing the team, lol

-(Nancy is trying...and I think she likes having TK on board, but she has some grief to also work through...and I think TK needs to read the room a little to see that)

-but the "Live in it a minute" line sent me

-"no offense, but is this your first day?"

-"TK, any metal in your body I need to know about?"

-lol, underdressed firemen and paramedics

-(Nancy is jealous, which she doesn't need to be...they're a team)

-lol, the cups are at the station

-"the hillbilly grin"

-"New little Texan" - I love you Judd

-"tiny coffee cups"

-TK is being a rule pusher

-Omg, TK, that's not what the siren is for

-(oof, I feel equally bad for Tommy and her kid)

-But the "are you going to ask," Nancy throws TK...I did let out a small laugh

-(TARLOS!!!!!!!!!)

-"Nancy hates my guts" (TK, she doesn't hate you...she's still grieving.) (it's like you're now her younger sibling, she's going through the mini crisis you had when you found out about your brother)

-(love Carlos trying to being the sensible one) (Beautiful Tarlos scene)

-(Good Grace and Tommy)

-(Enzo? Seriously? Same, Owen, agreed. He gets to be a little pissed.)

-The bowl "it's too beautiful"

-"I need you to spit in this cup" and Owen's face (though I hate that they're having this drama. Like, please *eye roll*)

- (Charles, I support him supporting Tommy...don't be mad at him, he was trying to help)

-lmao, food fight (love that) (the family feels!!!!!)

-(TK bringing everyone together!!!! I freaking support it!!!! This is part of the reason why I love the idea of Paramedic!TK)

-Sloth Tea steeper! Love it!

-"the otter...""It's a sloth"

-"It's sloth urine"

-(one thing, the baby isn't an it. We found out it's a boy.)

-(I don't like this pregnancy storyline, but seriously?)

-(Owen, no but I feel)

-(I don't feel safe after the promo)

[hiddenwashington]

                                we are the april fools

y’all really thought we forgot meme day? april fools! to celebrate, here is a compilation of our bullshit for your memeing pleasure. enjoy!

**tw for nsfw, drug mention, alcohol mention, swearing

‘ fuck off you fucking gremlin ’

‘ what’s pegging? ’

‘ stop trying to make furcocks happen it’s never going to happen ’

‘ he obviously gets pegged. he gets fucked by women and life ’ 

‘ mister mistoffelees is my cat boyfriend ’

‘ one is a kink, one is a crime ’

‘ i live for chaos you gotta feed me ’

‘ i’ll continue being an asshole for your amusement ’

‘ i’m ready, bring on the anxiety ’

‘ call me big daddy ’

‘ we’ll scar ourselves for valentines day ’

‘ and then she wrote me a novel about his cocaine addiction ‘

‘ sponsored by ritz cheese crackers, absolute shit ‘

‘ you have no legacy, your legacy is to be disappointed all the time ‘

‘ you're like some sad soccer mom that came for the wine instead of your kids soccer game ‘

‘ karen can choke i would never forget the sangria ‘

‘ band kids do the blowing excuse you ‘

‘ it is i, the mullet of your dreams ‘

‘ you cannot mention pornhub this is why youre not hr ‘

‘ i’m on the clock to knock your lights out ’

‘ i’m livin la tiddy loca ‘

‘ righting the world and the economy one karen at a time ‘

‘ let the red rocket rail me ’

‘ i suck at swallowing drinks but i'm good at eating shit ’

‘ u can fight my brain and my anxiety sis we’re having ✨a terrible time✨ ’

‘ i’m on it drag that bitch to denny’s i’ll take her ass out ’

‘ today i learned that cocaine could be an antidepressant if the government weren't cowards ’

‘ i feel like my tik tok feed has become the meld of anime and horny tiktok, in the sense that i keep seeing tiktoks of boys in maid dresses ’

‘ i had five shots of espresso, even god can't stop me ’

‘ ted bundy is up first i will square up ’ 

‘ one day i will have the pleasure of going to hell and murdering freud ‘

‘ i will not face consequences for my actions. you can not make me ’

‘ voldemort doesn’t have the emotional range to bottom ’

‘ i can accept that i have a flaw or two. that’s it though, just two ’

‘ i know you try very hard, but you are very stupid ’

‘ let's go straight, a thing we've never said before in this groupchat ’

‘ what those tentacles do baby? ’

‘ suck my dick you stupid leprechaun ’

‘ you better be ready to sleep with moth man - hi dad! ’

‘ you really think you could take on the kool-aid man and take no damage??? ’

‘ i don’t have a foot fetish, i’m just autistic ‘

‘ i haven’t even learned multiplication, how am i supposed to know what a pyramid scheme is? ‘

‘ do i look sexy while dying? ‘

‘ have you been watching too much youtube? ’

‘ fucking ipad kids, man ’

‘ i can be sane about this i promise but not today ‘

‘ i’m a catch and i can also sleep with a younger man ’

‘ how do you milk an oat ’

‘ fuck my dad ’

‘ sometimes you just need to start swinging ’

‘ i just watched a cat girl walk out of thin air in a starbucks ‘

‘ isn’t that that furry thing people are into ‘

‘ i’m gonna go on The Google and see if i can figure anything out ‘

‘ am i high too? ‘

‘ fuck off bambi ‘

‘ since there was no warning and i make the rules here ‘

‘ you'll go where i say you’ll go ‘

‘ does a - mother fucker ‘

‘ gonna play chase the emo ‘

‘ we love biting dilfs….? ’

‘ optimistic nihilism, right? none of us matter ’

‘ it’s kinda cringe to be kidnapped ’

‘ you rolled a 5, stfu this rabbit’s coming to brand you ’

‘ is he immune to KNIVES?? ‘

‘ alright -- now to kill this dad ‘

‘ if you think garfield is going to stand against me in court, you’re out of your fucking mind ’

‘ no offense but you have like no mom vibes ’

‘ i think i got threatened by a furry ’

‘ speak of the cat lady and she shall appear ’

**shotguns frappuccino** ‘ there’s many ways to drink a drink ’

‘ these hands are magic, baby ’

‘ are you saying naruto is jesus?? ’

‘ your pride is going to get us killed ’

‘ you look like you could fit under a bush ’

‘ y’all test me… ’

‘ i am SO GLAD you didn’t get vored by a cloud ’

‘ try to crowd surf the third graders! ’

‘ some things are better off unknown , the phrase will haunt me but… ’

[firemblem-fics]

Smitten Kitten [4]

one | two | three | four | finale

-> Pairing: Felix x Female!Reader | Hybrid!AU (mostly platonic idk)

-> Word Count: 1.2k

-> Genre: Mostly Angst

-> Warnings: HUGE TW - this chapter contains scenes of animal/human abuse. Do not read this chapter if you are easily triggered by these themes. Also cursing

-> Summary: You never wanted to be involved with hybrids. They were risky and had too many rules for you. But what will you do when a little black and white cat that you take in turns out to be the very thing you steered clear of?

-> A/N: I do apologize for this chapter being short and violent and whatever. It’s kind of just a filler chapter because I would like to have the resolution as a chapter itself lol

Hell.

Life without Felix was practically Hell.

In the two months that Felix had lived with you, you had become completely used to having another body in your house. Without him, it was extremely lonely. You often believed that you could revel in the quietness of your apartment, needing nobody but yourself to keep you company.

How wrong you were.

The silence was practically unbearable now. Even if Felix wasn't the most talkative of the bunch, simply having a roommate was enough for you. You learned to never take things for granted- especially someone like Felix.

The tuxedo cat hybrid messaged you as much as he could, compiling stories of activities that Doug and Karen made him partake in. They spanned from 14 hour work days practicing for different Hybrid Shows (Karen was quite the fanatic for Fodlan's Finest Pets) to up to three days locked in his room because he was rude to them.

The days where he had to hide his phone and refrain from messaging you were the worst. Like today.

You paced around Ashe's living room, practically burning a path into his rug as you trudged for hours, checking your phone in case.

"Y/N, I'm begging you. Sit the hell down."

This was the third time Ashe tried to ask you to sit. Your nervousness was definitely affecting everyone else, as seen by Sylvain, whose tail hadn't wagged during the entire hour that you were over.

"I can't Ashe, what if I get distracted and he messages and needs me? If it's an emergency-"

"Please, dear God, he's been gone for a week and a half. He's a big boy, too. Definitely capable of taking care of himself."

"But did you see him when they left! How he looked? It- it was awful. Sad. Whatever they did to Felix isn't just something to brush off. He didn't even try to argue with them- Felix always argues!" You spat. You felt a little bad for being so angry, but this was your friend, goddamnit.

Suddenly, your phone screen lit up and a notification sound rang through the apartment. You practically launched the phone out of your hands with how quickly you lifted it up, checking your messages.

"He sent a video."

"What does it say?"

"There's no other message. Just the video."

The screen was black. Your fingers shook as you pressed the play button. The first thing you heard was Karen's voice, the shrill soprano of her tone nearly breaking your eardrums.

"Felix, this is the third time today. Get the fuck out of the bathroom."

The camera then showed a bathroom and shakily pointed to the door, where the knob was wiggling violently.

"Fuck off!" Felix exclaimed just as loudly. Your heart lurched at the sound of his voice. He sounded okay.

"Felix, I'm not doing this anymore. Come out before I have to force my way in."

The camera flipped, now showing Felix. You gasped.

His hair was down from its usual ponytail, the strands framing his face messily. He always wore a frown, but this one seemed to etch deeper into his face. The real eyesore of it all was... well, the literal eye sore.

A giant bruise was blossoming beneath his eye, spreading down quite a ways away from the eye itself and onto his prominent cheekbone. He didn't seem to fret over it, of course, but you certainly were.

"If you're not doing this anymore, I should just go back to Y/N's-"

"Don't you EVER talk about her again, do you hear me Felix Hugo?" The door rattled again. "She's not getting you back. You belong to us and it's about time you act like it."

Felix rolled his eyes. "Really now? We'll see about that soon." He murmured. He stood up and turned the camera back towards the door, slowly walking up to it and unlocking it.

As he finally began to open the door himself, it swung open with the force of at least a hundred Karens. The video got a good view of her face before she noticed, screamed at him to turn it off, and lifted her hand. A loud smack resounded through the speakers before you saw the phone clatter to the floor and the recording shut off.

You finally looked up at Ashe, who was already looking at you. "Do you think this is evidence enough to get him back?"

He looked even more troubled than you, glancing over to Sylvain. You couldn't imagine how Sylvain may be feeling at the moment- he came from a similar situation, except with breeding instead of pageants.

"It's got her face in it and Felix has a visible wound. I think it's good."

You nodded and grabbed your bag, wordlessly leaving to Madame's. Ashe and Sylvain scurried behind you, not that you noticed. You were too focused on getting your Felix back.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

"We'll see about that soon."

You turned away from your phone at the next part, not wanting to rewatch your beloved hybrid get hit.

Nancy held onto your phone, watching the screen rather intently for someone who didn't give two shits about Felix. Ashe held his hand on the small of your back, giving it a few comforting rubs to calm your nerves. Finally, the video ended and she handed you back your phone.

"I just wanted to show you this and the other messages and videos as evidence that Felix is being abused by his owners. I know you hate him but he deserves a good life and-"

Nancy held up a hand. "Felix is the biggest asshole I have ever met. I may not like him, but animal abuse is still abuse."

"He's not an animal."

"Hybrids are animals, sweetie. Get over it." She smacked her gum and picked up a phone. "I'm going to call them down to the facility and while we wait, you are going to show Hybrid Protection Services those videos. They will deal with the rest and hopefully by tomorrow you will have complete custody over Felix."

You could only smile at Nancy. Yeah, she was a wack-ass bitch, but at least she was helping you. You just prayed that you would never see her again after this all was over.

After a few minutes, two HPS officers came through the front doors of the Facility, making a small bell ring to signal their entrance. Nancy kindly tells the officers of the situation and twirls her hair, batting her eyelashes at one man you could only describe as long, tan, and handsome. Too bad that wasn't your type.

Your type was average height, pale, red eyes, asshole- wait. No. They were talking to you. Oh, they wanted to see the phone. Oopsies.

Once more, you distracted yourself by picking at the sleeves of your sweater to avoid listening to the videos again. The HPS officers nodded and stepped off to the side with your phone and a notepad, figuring out what to do.

Soon, the bell rang once more and you turned your head, finally making eye contact with those red eyes that you'd been longing to see for weeks.

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 10

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online. Day 271: Work was dominated by Qfiniti again, including a meeting with Jon and staff from the States, where I found my self taking control to get the next steps in process (and then, Dave Stewart, the SCCM engineer fucked off and put an OOO message on Teams telling me he’s off until Tuesday (it’s Thursday)...and I am off on Monday!) But, I have to say this project does float my boat. Got a text message and then a call from PCH for another laser eye appt this coming Monday at 12.30pm. I mentioned to the lady that phoned that I will have to square it with work (I won’t, but she doesn’t know that) as I can’t afford to lose my job - it just seems the hospital, while under pressue with the admin and the clinic availability - I get it! - just aren’t seeing the issues for the patients. Plus, Peterborough has been declared a Tier 3 from Sunday under the new lockdown scheme, the highest tier. Great...I really want to travel to a highly infected area! managed to find an online booze shop that does Gordon’s and Famous Grouse and will deliver beforee Chrimbo, so I’ve placed the order for dad and Rita’s gift. I spoke with Dad today, he hasn’t heard about his vaccination yet which is a surprise (he’s in the first draft being over 80)

Day 272: Typing on day 273. Work was that manic shit at the end of the dya when I’ve got time off. I am only off on Moday but still had to tie up loose ends, complictaed further by Jon being off next week and Sueanne off this week and the Qfiniti project! In the evening I only mamaged three beers. I ate too much. Plus my sugars were all over the place and way too high! I ordered a torch a couple of days ago (£17), it arrived today. It takes rechargeable batteries or 3 AAAs. Apparently, to get the best performance (i.e. brightness) you need the rechargeable batteries in it, so i charged ‘em. Fucking hell, I’m glad I did - it’s brighter than the sun. It opens up my late walks in winter, for sure.

Day 273: While it was a very late (but sober) night yesterday (gone 4am before lights out) I was up before midday. Usual walking etc. plus gave the bathroom a clean (albeit with wipes, but I did mop the floor - and used the water to also mop the kitchen). Now I am about to stick a pizza in the oven, plus wedges (to have with microwaveable chip shop curry sauce) and watch This Is 40 which is coincidentally on telly tonight - the coincidence being clips of it are on TikTok a lot right now. I am on my second beer and am going to have a smoke right now as well. Lastly for this entry, I have been using my AudioPro speaker today, it pisses me off it’s not WiFi capable but, thru Bt, it does sound fucking good - revisiting James works very well to demonstrate the speaker’s prowess.

Day 274: I have another Paypal a/c. I have been getting emails to my standard gmail account from Paypal saying they are going to charge me £9 for an inactive account which I have been largely ignoring since my paypal a/c has a specific email address. Anyway, I tried to log in, after a password reset and, hey presto, I do have another one, with £35 in it, having just been fleeced of £9 for the aforementioned inactivity, fuckers. It’s registered with the old Market Place address and phone. When I try to transfer the £35 to my card, it wants to confim it’s me by calling the phone, which I can’t amend. Oh, and you can’t contact Paypal direct. Fuck knows what to do! Other than that, usual Sunday, a tad more relaxed since I have tomorrow off, but not that much now I have an eye appointment in Tier 4 Peterborough (it’s been up’d from tier 3)! Up at 1.30 pm (I watched This is 40 and The Guvners last night with lots of beer), feeling worse for wear but, stair climb and a 6 miler acheived!

Day 275: I was at the hospital for 3 hours. The laser clinic didn’t start until 1.30pm so, why my appointment was at 12.20, not even the consultant could understand. 15 minutes of lasering - horrible but I am used to it. It took so long it pretty much fucked my day off up completely. I got a Christmas card from Karen, in the actual post, so, a mail shot. It’s depressing.

Day 276: Back to work and it’s definitely in wind down mode. I’ve decided to compile a list of things I have done this year. It will be on the postive side, such as all the steps I’ve walked and getting an article published about my photography, but it will also include randon facts like getting bitten by a dig twice and not having a haircut. I’ll get it done so I can post in at new year, hopefully be a little inspiring, a little silly and a lot of showing off!

Day 277: Work, again, was quiet. It’s fucking pissing down now, as I type at 21:50, and has been all day. It’s causing havoc and there’s flooding everywhere. I could walk down St. Peter’s Road tonight ‘cos of it (had to go up New Road, Springfield Road, down Latham Road). Soaked a lunhtime and tonight! With a new variant of Coronavirus, France stopped frieght crossing the border. That’s now been resolved but tyeh back log has/is affecting certain food stocks in the shops, of which, fresh veg might affect me for Christams dinner (I plan to do a chicken breast with stuffing, pigs in blankets, yorkshire pud and shed loads of veg. I’ll nip to Co-Op tomorrow morning and see what’s vaialble. It’s a half day at work ‘cos of Christmas Eve, so I can nip out somewhere in the car if need be, as ong as the flooding has subsided. Or I could just get shitfaced and have burgers and pizza.

Day 278: Christmas Eve. Sueanne let me finish at 11.00am so, very shortly thereafter, off for a walk I went; it turned out to be a stop/start affair - flooding as the Nene had burst its banks, ended up doing more of a circuit round town. Bumped into Andy Smith (and his son) and, after that, Ash and Denise. Ended up doing just under 11.5km in 2 and a half hours.Knackered! As I type, I have a chilli on the stove, beer on the go, all the veg and chicken breast bought with no shortages, as feared, for tomorrow’s lunch and looking forward to eating. getting drunk, smoking, listening to music, watching telly....all over the next two/three days.

Day 279: I don’t even remember going to bed last night. As a direct result I got out of bed at 2.30pm. I couldn’t even be bothered with Christmas dinner, let alone anything else like exercise. I’m just about to have chilli for dinner (it’s 8.10pm). Watch some telly then try an go to sleep before midnight. No booze! I did talk to dad earlier. Day 280: Typing on day 281. A better, more productive day. Up @11.00am exercise and walk as usual, although the walk was a different route due to flooding. In the evening I could hear ‘storm Bella’ raging, so windy! I cooked a christmas dinner of sorts, chicken breast with Thyme, all the veg, roasted spuds and parsnip, stuffing (a first for me, albeit co-op stuffing mix), Yorkshie and pigs in blankets. It was smashing! A few beers and The Hitman’s Bodyguard, alays a fun watch. A better day, as I say, but I am feeling particular deflated this Christmas. Day 281: Typing on day 282. I realised, about mid afternoon, that Monday (tomorrow) is a bank holiday so no work. It was a great realisation but, also, worrying that it dawned on my like I’m an old person! Nevertheless, a nice long walk - bumped into Baz & Kate and had a nice long chat, then El & Camila, Aaron and Eva for another, shorter chat. I also saw Denise & Ash along the way. Fog video called later in the evening for a chat too (he told me how he fell asleep at the dinner table, fuck he makes me laugh - unwittingly - when I need it most!) A regular social fest! A repeat of last night’s dinner and a few beers - it was a good day albeit I am in a proper low ebb.

Day 282: Up at midday after a 4am-er. A very long walk (1.75 hours) and a hodge podge dinner (remaining chilli, roasted spuds and peppers, steamed cauliflower and runner beans, grated cheese) - it’s nearly ready, I’ll type the review tomorrow. I realise that this is the first time in 21 Christmases that I have at least talked to K. Is that connected to my mood slump? I reckon so. So, as that fact dawned on me, I then considered, should it be the case next Christmas, it will not be the first in along time and, as such, more manageable....fuck knows how I manage to accentuate any little positive but, thank goodness I do. Day 283: Work was a sedate affair today, fuck all to do really. Sueanne is now follwing me on Insta...I shall invetsigate on how to exclude posts to individuals, methinks. Tea, last night, was fucking lovely. More of the same tonight-ish - currently I am roasting spuds, peppers, garlic, chillies, tomatoes - it’ll all go with left over pigs-in-blankets (5) and a burger. I’ll have bisto beef with mustard on it. I can’t wait! Day 284: Typing on day 285. That meal was fucking lush! Checked on the car todfay and it would not start. Something is draining the battery so I will have to give it a run every day until I can get Julian to sort it. So, I WhatsApp’d Karen to borrow the portable starter. She dropped it off for me. We had the briefest of chats at the doorstep, first time we’ve spoken in weeks. She mentioned my hair! Day 285: NYE. I have just got back from walking to Cottersock and back. I would not have been able to do so without my new torch! I finished and published my double letter quiz on FB, including to the Virtual Pub group and the Oundle Chatter. It’s had some good feedback, I’m rather proud of it. I am going to make chicken casserole now (with dumplings - a first for me, I even bought some flour), have some beers and get a bit stoned. Before that, I am going to finish off my list of things I’ve done this year, including steps wlaked and hours listening on Spotify. I am quite proud of that list too.

Day 286: I fucked the dumplings up, added too much water, so that didn’t happen but the chicken casserole was good, just about to finish it for tea tonight. I also had pizza last night and went to bed at 5am. I have had a lot of good feedback on my list of 2020 achievements. I proud of it. K sent a happy new WhatsApp last night, around 00.30.

Day 287: No booze last night, so I was up before the alarm today (about 10.00am) Two walks, one on my own, another with Fog with a couple of beers. I fucking loved it! Watching datrts (World champs semi finals - been texting Dan while the first one has been on). Going to watch The Aviator later...I’ve not seen it before which surprises me. Why it surprises me I do not know, since I know I haven’t seen it. How the fuck can I be surprised by a fact I’m completely aware of? Day 288: I didn’t watch The Aviator ‘cos Logan Luck was on at 11:55pm on ITV4. Great fildm...I can’t believe that I very nearly paid for it (rent from Sky or Amazon). A late one last night and quite pissed. Thinking about it, having afew beers with Fog in the afternoon made it quite a long sesh for me! Up at just gone midday today, nice long walk (Cotterstock) which was mde long by a painful right ankle - I must have turned or twiested slightly sometime. Still, it survived. Back to work tomorrow - Chrimbo and New Year all done and dusted for the 55th time in my life!

Day 289: First day back at work of 2021. Boris announces another full lockdown in England (there’s a new strain of Covid19 which is seeing huge numbers of infections every day, over 50,000 per day).

Day 290: Something is up with my right foot, the little toe pad. It’s bloody sore. If it gets any worse it’ll affect my walking and exercise. I phoned Anne Bennison to talk about it, she just wants me to go and see her which i donlt want to do if poss, pandemic and all that.

Day 291: Wearing my sandals instead of the M&S slippers and my foot/toepad is already feeling bteer. However, I did inspect my Merrell boots, just in case, and the sole on te right is really worn down, in just three months. I have sent a WhatsApp to CotswoldOutdoors, where I got them from....let’s see what they say! It’s all kicking off i  the US - pro Trump protestors have storm the Capitol Building, where congrees was being held. Only in ‘Merica.

Day 292: Busy at work with rolling out Qfiniti - all that project work was pretty much for fuck all since the SCCM package has to hand held. It’s feckin’ freezing today, below freezing, slippy af on my walks. I have been shopping tonight, £106 in Corby Tesco. That does include 8 cans of sapporo.

Day 293: The fracas at Capitol Hill on Wednesday left 5 dead, it looks like Trump will be impeached. He’s already said he’ll not attend Biden’s inauguration. In a fucking world gone mad, it’s another level of madness. It’s really cold -3℃ tonight, more of the same tomorrow. Makes for brisk walks. I’ve just had chicken balti pie and chips for tea. It was so nice that I burnt the roof of my fucking gob. I’m on the Sapporo and about to have a smoke then watch Jack Reacher. I’ve (kinda) earnt after the first 5 day week for a while.

Day 294: Well, last night saw another late one...5am by the time I :went to sleep. Up at 2pm today with no instention of any exercise or walking or housework or fuck all, really. But, I did my exercises and a 9 mile walk. While I walked I came across Banners, quick 15 min chat and listed to Stage by David Bowie. He’s all over the radio right now as it’s his death’s anniversary tomorrow and his birthday yesterday. It’s a fucking good live album. A few beers tonight, eating trash, watching FA Cup highlights then End of Watch later.  Posh played today (first time in a while due to Covid infections) drew away to (shitty) Lincoln 1-1. Good point as Posh were down to ten men after 67 mins for a second yellow for handball in the area. Lincoln missed the pen. Fucking funny. Chorley, the non leaguers who knocked Posh out in round 2 of the FA Cup, beat Derby in round 3 today (albeit derby fielded an academy side of 11 first timers due to Covid ) - a great day for them!

Day 295: Up at 2pm swearing blind I’d not walk or exercise (again!) but, of course I did. I’ve done over 25 miles this w/e! End of Watch was brilliant last night. Well worth a rewatch, so emotional. I am making butter chicken as I type. I’ve added extra onion, garlic and, of course, chillies. It’s the spiciest butter chicken I have ever tasted! 

Day 296: One of those frustrating days at work when no problem of request I try to resolve goes without a hitch. After a 7km walk in the evening, took the car for a spin and cleaned the bathroom. Fucking knackered. It’s 11:30pm and I’m in bed typing this on the iPad! despite getting up so late, I feel knackered. 11pm bedtime for me, I reckon.

Day 297: Fucking busy at work, the States rolled out a new Okta trust policy and it caused mayhem. Meant my evening walk didn’t start ‘til gone 6pm. When I got back, clened the hall and stairs, made chilli (which I am about to have for tea (gone 10.15pm!) and showered. I’m, again, fucking knackered! Posh played Portsmouth in the EFL Trophy 3rd round at home. Won 5-1. Nice.

Day 298: Had an electrician rouind for the EICR cetrt. He was here until 2pm and it was a pain in the arse, having to work upstairs plus, with having to cut the electricity, all the smart devices lost their settings. And it was freezing up there.

Day 299: Work was impossibly infuriating. Not one pc remote session went to plan! It was pissing down a lunchtime during my walk but, I have to say, the cheap TargetDry coat copes fine in heavy rain for short periods. Everywhere is flooding again even though the rain turned to sleet. By my evening walk, it was dry but bloody cold. Then, when I got in I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor and the bathroom’s as well. I fucking done in! Chatted to dad today - same as ever!

Day 300: What a fucking work at week! I am so glad it’s Friday. To celebrate, I ordered new walking boots: Scarpas £121!

[minthysugamon]

Shit my school/classmates have said this year:

Since it's the end of the school year,here's a compilation of shit that my school/classmates said. Enjoy. (Names were changed bc some snitches of my school follow me)

"I'mma pull a Robespierre on the Principal."

CONTEXT: The principal forbade us to have dyed or unnatural hair (which meant bleached too),but didn't for people she liked. It wasn't in the dress code also. It was only on personal preference.

"If you look at it like that...Napoleon was once Mister Worldwide." "Mister Worlwide...Red One..."

*girl besides me whispering to her deskmate* "Do you think Louis XIV was into choking..? Idk..he looks like he was into some weird shit." "He organised Orgies,Samantha. No shit sherlock,he was into weird shit."

*my teacher imitating the guillotine execution w/ a classmate* "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" (By our Noisiest Classmate)

*while playing kahoot* A: Share your answer pls. B: Communism is in the program for Next year,so no. I am not sharing answers.

"Guys...violence is never the Answer...Unless you are the 3rd Estate in France in 1789. Then go for it. Eat the rich." -my Teacher

"Haha...they divided the French Empire w/o Napoleon...just like how my friends make plans w/o me"

"But wait..didn't Indians live in Tipis?" "We're talking about Asian Indians,not Native Americans. Do you think the Taj Mahal is in America or what?" -Classmate A to Classmate B.

"Do y'all know the capital of Canada?" "Yeah,it's Osaka." *my Geo teacher went like "How are you in 11th grade..?"*

"Okay,but what i don't understand is why do i have to learn Physics. Do i look like a physicist to you? I can't even do a basic equation,wtf am i gonna do with the Acceleration formula in my life."

"If you want,i can bring you a lightbulb tomorrow bc you're clearly not illuminated."

"I accept apologies in cash. And maybe in homework copies. Yeah. Apologize to me with homework copies,bitch."

"Who the fuck is Kubica?" "Isn't that the guy who directed The Shining?"

"Do you know who are you talking to?" "Yeah,to the biggest bitch of the class. Now gimmie back my sausage,Sharon."

"It's called class president but it doesn't want to organise a field trip to Dubai."

"As a class president,y'all should treat me with respect and accept all of my decisions." "Okay,but you can't move without the congress. So stfu."

"They want to make you fail." -Other history teacher. "Nah,they just need people in lower grades bc no one is coming to the Gulag anymore." -Classmate

(Last communism one,i promise)

"Compared to our Principal,Stalin is a Puppy. Change my mind." "Jason,Stalin was a Tyrant." "AND OUR PRINCIPAL ISN'T?" *principal was outside of our class*

"I have decided to take my retirement." -teacher everybody hated "Ugh,finally!" -Classmate

"I only said that if the whole school dyes their hair,they can't expell us all." "Wasn't that the ideology of the Area 51 Raid?"

"If you guys will start rebelling,you won't have the 12th Grade field Trip in Italy."- the principal "Do you really think we want to go with your crusty ass?" -someone from the back of the presentation hall

"I swear,we're in Prison here." "At least in Prison they get free food."

"At this rate,i'mma drop out and be a stripper." "WE SUPPORT YOU BRITTANY!" -male classmates

"How can you eat your own shit,that's disgusting!" (After we talked about breathing apparatuses which are Scaphandres in French,but our classmate understood Scatophagism)

"A leg has four chairs. Don't balance yourself on it...wait. No. Sorry!"

*in study hall* "Our budget isn't enough to repair the window or to have heating,but it's enough to paint the back of the chairs in the cafeteria" "Well..you know...S t o n k s."

"They took out the pizzas from the menu because they want us to eat healthier,but they replaced it with Instant Noodles that taste like Hiroshima? And it's more expensive ?" "Well..at least it's hydrating."

"Oh no,do your homework quick,or *Dutch Teacher* Will snap like Thanos!"

"Can you do me a favor?" "Yeah?" "Shut the fuck up. Thx."

"How did y'all do on the exam? Did you know the answer for Question 12? The backside was harder." "There was a back side?"

"I will call your mom." "Okay Karen. Call my dead mom."

And there was many more on our fieldtrip but i wasn't there so i didn't hear them. This was the compilation of how chaotic my school/class is. (Also,yes,most of them are ignorant,we're trying our best to educate them but you know...not everybody is ready to be educated)

[kastlenetwork]

Thank you so much to everyone who posted anything for Kastle Smut Week, this year! And thank you so much to everyone who didn’t post, but enjoyed the work of those who did and showed love for their work ♡♡♡

Below the break, I’ve compiled everyone’s work from the week for you to go through and see if you missed anything. 

You can also look through the KastleSmutWeek 2k19 Collection on AO3, if you’d prefer to check through there! Thanx again, everyone! Awesome group continues to be awesome ♡♡♡

nothing warmer than 'i love you' [tumblr link] | by: ofsinnersandsaints Frank tells Karen he loves her for the first time

i'll be your man if you got love to get done [tumblr link] | by: HeartonFire Frank and Karen are at a turning point in their relationship, and they have a few things they need to say to each other.

walk this way [tumblr link] | by: soixantecroissants It’s probably one of the worst dates she’s ever been on.Wouldn’t take a genius to figure that out. They haven’t made eye contact for at least the last drink and a half. Conversation has been pretty monosyllabic, when anything gets spoken at all. And the prick keeps checking his phone beneath the table every two seconds like he isn’t sitting across from the most goddamn beautiful girl in the world.

Frank shakes his head and downs the rest of his whiskey.

What the hell are you doing with this guy, Karen?

moodboard | by: @superrpowerlesshuman

what spring does with the cherry trees [tumblr link] | by: bottledbliss Karen comes home in a mood and Frank can't think of a reason why he shouldn't give her what she wants.

won't be lonely long [tumblr link] | by: ofsinnersandsaints Frank shows up at Karen's hotel room, and well---what else are two people supposed to do alone together in a cheap hotel room but go down on each other?

took the breath from my open mouth [tumblr link] | by: HeartonFire Karen's dreams have been haunted by Frank Castle for months. When he comes back into her life, after everything that happened, she wants to make sure she doesn't wake up.

these walls (are meant to fall) [tumblr link] | by: therestlessbrook “What’s going on?” Karen says, sitting up. She looks down at herself—hands with too-long fingers, scars along her knuckles and a heavy weight around her chest. It’s a vest. She’s armed. She’s—

Holy fucking shit.

She’s Frank fucking Castle.

(Or that body swap fic I’ve been threatening to write.)

“I don’t think you really want me to go”  | by: @thevampirecat

nothing ever stops you leaving [tumblr link] | by: HeartonFire Post-DDS2, Karen is drowning her sorrows at Josie's, when a familiar face appears and offers to take her mind off things.

so delicate the bones [tumblr link] | by: carrythesky Five months since the hospital. Five months of hearing about him on the news, reading about his exploits in the paper, and unlike the last time he came back from the dead, none of it is speculation now. Frank Castle, the Punisher—

She sees that goddamn skull wherever she looks.

jealousy and rooftops [tumblr link] | by: ofsinnersandsaints   Frank gets a call from Karen when she gets in a situation where she doesn't feel entirely comfortable and when he gets he discovers Matt, dressed up as Daredevil, already there and Karen watches as something like jealousy sparks in Frank and she gets to feel exactly what Frank's reaction in while on the rooftop. 

Boddice-ripper [tumblr link] | by: CharmingProcrastinator   Looking back on it, it really should not have surprised either one of them that their first time had started off like a scene lifted from a bodice-ripper.

both hands now [tumblr link] | by: soixantecroissants   outtakes from an elevator.

i’d kiss you as the lights went out [tumblr link] | by: HeartonFire   Karen brings Frank to drinks with Foggy and Marci, but when the power goes out unexpectedly, the night turns out better than she planned. 

long time coming [tumblr link] | by: ofsinnersandsaints   Frank gets a call from Micro that someone has taken hostages at a gala - and when he hears Karen is one of them he runs to save her. After a bit of fighting and killing he gets her to safety; only for her to turn around and save him.

Immediately, with adrenaline and desire coursing through their veins, they reach for each other in the elevator. Something which has been a long time coming finally comes to fruition against the wall with Karen's legs wrapped around Frank.

death is not a love, oh yes he is | by: @c-sand / @kastlenetwork

let me love you [tumblr link] | by: ofsinnersandsaints   Karen comes home to her boyfriend drunk and a little horny; Frank is recovering from an injury and is more than happy to let Karen take control.

When I Watch You Dance | by: @goddamnitkastle Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls

you're the only place that feels like home [tumblr link] | by: HeartonFire   Frank needs a place to stay, and Karen can't let him keep sleeping on the couch.

playlist [tumblr link] | by: @neatmonsterr

safer in your arms [tumblr link] | by: ofsinnersandsaints Karen's apartment is getting painted, and since she was given absolutely no notice, she needs a place to stay for the night- which is how Frank ends up waking from a nightmare in the middle of the night with Karen in his bed and going on instinct he reaches for her.

let the tide swallow me whole | by: @ck90

when you move, i’m moved [tumblr link] | by: HeartonFire   Frank asks Karen for a favor, and she says yes. Where they end up isn't exactly where either of them planned.

Contact [tumblr link] | by: @neatmonsterr / PastelKastle   They spend a few nights working undercover at a bar to take down an arms dealer that never shows up.

let the tide swallow me whole [tumblr link] | by: therestlessbrook   He’s in a suit. A good suit. Sharp lines and crisp edges. He has a short beard and his face is unbruised. She hasn’t seen him since the hospital room. Since he left with that kid. She hasn’t said his name in months, not since she murmured, Good luck, Frank.

And yet, here he is. Standing in front of her, a bottle of beer in his hand. “Get you a drink?” he asks quietly.

(Or, Karen goes undercover at a dating auction.)

say my name (beg for me) [tumblr link] | by: ofsinnersandsaints   Basically Karen and Frank make out to keep their cover as a married couple, which leads to sexy shenanigans in the shower.

you get me closer to god | by: mydirtybusiness   “Atta girl,” he repeated, knowing just how well it made her ache for him. “Now open your legs for me.”

how you get the girl | by: HeartonFire Frank comes back into Karen's life when she least expects it and they have a conversation they've needed to have for a long time.

Of Schemes and Sex | by: Fervent_dreamer   When Karen is losing her apartment because you can't pay rent in chickens, Frank thinks it might finally be time to talk about moving in together.

and the cold was as sharp as my baby | by: ImaginaryParachute "In the three months that Karen Page had lived in this building, she had established a reputation for herself as a woman who did not show up in the lobby at the witching hour with the dripping wet arm of a black-clad man slung across her shoulders. It seemed it was time to reset the counter on that one."

-

Frank has hypothermia; Karen has researched hypothermia treatment. Frank finds this pretty compelling.

art | by: @spacearts

[prorevenge]

After months of putting up with my roommate from hell, I got the revenge of lifetime and screwed her over out of a fuckton of money and got her to pay rent and life has never been sweeter! (This is a long one)

This is a long one but very much worth the ride, so buckle up. (also, English isn't my native lang, sorry if there are any mistakes)

This story takes place a couple of years back. During college, I lived with several roommates, all of them were nice and we got along well, except for this one bitch, let's call her Karen. if Satan and Hitler had a child and that child had a child with Stalin and Cruella de Vil, that would be Karen for you, she is a loud-mouthed stupid, egocentric bitch who has the face that scare the shit out of a toilet. She would never clean up after herself, she would always leave her plates and things at the spot where she last used them. I have lost counts of how many times, I caught her stealing my clothes without asking and if you so much as touch her clothes she loses her shit on you, or her drinking our lactose-intolerant roommates almond milk and any time we confronted her for drinking it, she would shrug and say "I only had a sip, stop being so stingy." She plays her music loud at night, invites stranger without giving any heads up, a time or two she didnt pay rent even though her parents are FILTHY RICH and she is wearing gucci and prada shit, Karen also fucking lies about everything, even things that are not worth lying about. like if she woke up 7, and you ask her, she'll lie through her fucking teeth and say she rose with the sun rise because she is a natural. (ps, this is something i actually heard her say to her parents while she was skypeing them....so cringy, who the fuck says that? but i digress)

Months we have fucking put up with her, of course we tried to get other roommates but unfortunately when we all moved in everything, all documents and contracts were done in her name so kicking her out would require a lot of effort and most of us were busy with school and work and life happens. So we ignore it as much as we can and try to move on.

We are now all seniors and in our final semesters, meaning graduation was coming, AND Karen is planning a backpack trip across Europe with her friends as a graduation gift to herself, this is important so remember this.

One of our roommates and my closest friend, Sasha, has had a crush on a guy that lives down the hall. Any time the two of them are together, Sasha and the Guy keep giving each other googly eyes and blushing faces; it was sooo cute. Sasha is a verbal autistic person and has never dated anyone because she has a hard time with socializing and understanding social ques and subtlety, which lets face it, that is the core of dating, especially flirting but with a lot of encouragement from me and the final roommate, Lola we got her to ask him out. He said yes. She was so happy, you guys, she flew back into the apartment and did an hour of happy dance with her arms flailing about and a shit eatin grin on her face; needless to say we were all so happy. Karen caught wind of this and it just so happens at that time she was having relationship problems, I guess her bf finally realized he's dating human garbage. Not one to be outshined, Karen behind all of our backs went to the guy's place and spun lies about Sasha, saying she is a serial cheater and even made a fake account for Sasha's so called bf. the guy never called Sasha, and eventually weeks passed by he told us why but by then Sasha felt like the damage was done and lost interest in him.

I. WAS. FUCKING. FURIOUS.

This, this level of dickery and bloody pettiness is the straw that finally broke the camel's back and I vowed I wouldn't fucking leave until I served my slice of justice. Here's another character that you must know about, Prof C. His wife two years ago was in a horrible car accident and as a result is in a wheelchair, this is especially problematic because she was a stay home mom that took care of their two special needs kids and they have a toddler at home. Home life is a mess for him, he is running ragged between working and single-handedly is taking care of his family, the uni took pity and also feared the workload would see one of their best and most beloved teachers leave the school struck a deal with him to help him out. In all of his classes there will be quizzes and midterms, this doesnt change, but assignments you submit and he corrects at the end of the year, this is important cuz our uni has zero tolerance on proffs that dont constantly update the students course works so that students have the chance to improve their grades.

Karen, the lazy and stupid bitch she is, is somehow skating through his assignments, even though they require a shit tone of research and writing. I accidentally learned that one of her older friends told her that she only needs submit the paper on its due date and to only write the first 3 pages and use a paraphrase tool for the rest of the paper so the plagiarism software wont detect it and would think its original material and when the end of the year comes, submit a hard copy but with the first pages being her actual work and the rest being completely plagiarized, professional work. Prof C won't know cuz the likelihood a man as busy as him thoroughly checking the work of 120+ students is pretty low. I grinned. A plan was beginning to formulate in my head. Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, she is going down! All semester long I let her do this for all of the 7 papers, one of them which is a term paper that has 20% on it alone, all the while I spied and gathered all of her pass codes, social media, her student ID, everything.

The end of the year came and I compiled all of her assignments, both the original one with the paraphrasing tools she used to circumvent plagiarism and the one she finally handed them in, and I even made photos were there are side-to-side comparison of the assignments. This is a good start but not enough. So, One day chillin at the living room I open a conversation about relationships, Karen is two timing her new boyfriend and is sleeping with some other Person. so, I ask her questions like "don't you feel guilty for cheating?" and "You do realize this is wrong?" and I even paraphrase my words in a way that is vague but also clear, for example I would say "It's not fair, so many people work so hard everyday to be successful and you are here cheating and lying your way to success." Karen, narcissistic as fuck, would respond with snippets of I dont care and how she isnt cheating, she is only having fun and that everyone does it so why not her too. This is too good to be true, even her answers are vague, its like god put his hand on my shoulder, looked me right in the eyes and said, "burry this bitch". and Id be damned if I didnt. As you probably have guessed it by now, I was recording EVERYTHING. The recording plus the photos, and her assignments were more than enough evidence, I sent an anonymous email to the Professor, and i tell the girls so that they can prep for the shit storm thats coming. Three weeks later, results are out. she failed and LOST HER SHIT. She was screamin, crying, wailing, what a sight to see! you best believe, the girls and I were laughing. She tried to talk to the prof, but he was not having it. she cried and begged for a second chance but he said a hard no. So now she has two options: she goes ahead and doesn't graduate with us, and takes on a whole 'nother semester for one measly course or take summer course and cancel her trip to Europe, which mind you she spent a fuckton on, something like 13, 000$ and I know it could have been much cheaper but Princess Karen only wanted the best so yh. The next couple of weeks she spent sleepless nights because she was calling and cancelling all the reservations she made, tryin to get her money back BUT (again, GOD really was out for blood that day) because the cancellation was so close to some her trip most places refused to refund, or some charged her cancellation fees. She only managed to scrap 5.5 K back together, lossin 7.5 K. OUCH!

Its not over, having damning evidence I, with earned gusto, told her she was going to pay all of the bills till we move out, which was in two months, payback for all the times she was late on payment or defaulted and she would from now do her part of the house chores or else Im gonna send it all to the admin and faculty dean and she will fo sho be kicked out and all those uni years will have been for nothing. She hated it, she fucking threw tantrums and cussed me out but my god if she didnt do whats told. she cleaned her stuff, apologized to Sasha for what she did, I forced her to come clean to her BF (dont know the guy but the few times i met him he was super sweet to us and i felt bad for the guy), I watched her actually do the dishes for the first time in like years. IT was fucking amazing and I don't regret it one bit. In fact, anytime I feel sad now as an adult, i kick back my feet and reminiscine and a slow shit eatin grin draws itself upon my face.

tl;dr roommate was super mean, i found out she was cheating on her assignments and so i snitched on her and as a result she had to stay the summer and retake the class again or else she wouldn't graduate.

(source) story by (/u/let-the-write-one-in)

[quarantineroulette]

Minor Disappointments’ 10 Least Disappointing Releases of 2019

I wasn’t going to compile a 2019 year-end list for a number of reasons (lack of time to listen to new music, general malaise, little time to write), but I’ve read so much bad end of year music writing that I feel like I must either stoke the embers or assist in extinguishing it. I don’t think I’m doing either here, but everyone likes list so here’s another.

I haven’t had time to really think about 2019 in songs but my favorite this year was, no kidding, a Tindersticks song featuring Robert Pattinson. Speaking of...

10) FKA twigs - Magdalene

  I really wish I hadn’t remembered that Pattinson and twigs dated because it put a slight damper on my enjoyment of this album. Instead of appreciating it in all its genre-destroying glory, as I did on my first listen, subsequent spins led to me becoming sidetracked by tabloid speculation over what RPattz must have done to have wronged this very singular artist. So, whether this is your first listen or 50th, forget all that I just wrote and instead let twigs fill your empty mind with her sometimes delicate, sometimes Kate Bush-evoking, wholly epic songs.

Favorite moment: It’s pretty commendable and bold to place the lead single as the closing track, especially if its something as monumentally gut-wrenching as “Cellophane.” Also, that video is the visual treasure everyone says it is, no fooling. 

9) Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising

If you’ve ever heard Karen Carpenter’s Beatles covers you might have some idea as to what this record is like. But beyond Natalie Mering’s cozy vocals and timeless compositions is an undercurrent of ambient mystery that sets everything ever so slightly askew. At times, Laurel Canyon vibes are completely dispelled for more crepuscular textures, as in the album’s centerpiece, the Julee Cruise-esque “Movies.” Who knows where Mering will go next, but her path, whether from the California sun or glow of the silver screen, is certainly bright. 

Favorite moment:  “A Lot’s Gonna Change”, “Andromeda”, “Everyday” - as strong of a three song run as on any release this year. 

8) Angel Olsen - All Mirrors

The cynic in me wanted to resist this album, but as soon as the cinematic strings kicked in on “Lark” I decided the enormous amount of critical hyperbole that was being thrown at it was mostly warranted. Stately, dramatic, occasionally synthy and largely devastating, All Mirrors taught me that sometimes you may find many of your favorite things in the unlikeliest of places. Please insure your heartstrings. 

Favorite moment: “Spring” which, like a lot of great songs, sounds a little like a fairground ride breaking down. 

7) Danny Brown - uknowhatimsayin¿

This might be the funnest album I’ve listened to all year. It can be hard to do positive but “Best Life” is as heartening as Nardwuar’s interview with Brown and fewer things are happier than that. With his fifth album, Brown has proven he can ably do every mood with aplomb. And if using cleaning references as euphemisms is your poison, then, hell, he can do that too. 

Favorite moment: “Hoes on my dick ‘cos I look like Roy Orbison.” Need I say more?

6) Omni - Networker

One of the strongest post-to-the-nth-degree-punk bands from the latter 2010s, I still have Omni’s 2016 debut, Deluxe, on heavy rotation. Networker, the trio’s third record and first on Sub Pop, has no shortage of twists, turns, technical dexterity, quirk and compositional audacity. Looks like I’ll be overplaying this one too. 

Favorite moment: I could listen to “Courtesy Call” over a hundred times and I still wouldn’t be able to guess what direction it’s going to go in. 

5) Aldous Harding - Designer

 Of all the artists on this list, I find Harding the most inspiring in both her songwriting and her performing style, which is arresting to say the least. The songs on Designer are paradoxically accessible and impenetrable, with seemingly breezy songs like “Weight of the Planets” leaving you with a feeling that’s a cross between a “wow!” and a “huh?”(perhaps a bit like this). Most impressive of all, Harding draws to mind such greats as Nick Drake, Syd Barrett and Nico while always sounding completely like herself. I honestly don’t know what layer of reality Harding is from, but we should all be thankful she’s residing in ours for the time being. 

Favorite moment: “The Barrel” had been in my YouTube queue for ages; after finally watched it I was left confused, mildly disturbed, amused and completely beguiled. This kookily hatted lady is just semi-dancing in a heavily-draped room for nearly five minutes and it’s the most fascinating video in years. If the video wasn’t entertaining enough, it also happens to have one of the funniest and sweetest comment threads on YouTube. Oh yeah, and the song is brilliant. 

4) Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?

Deerhunter have really only misstepped once for me and that was with 2015′s Fading Frontier. Seeing as this is the band’s first full length since then, I had quite a bit of trepidation going in. Of course, a lot can happen in four years and Why Hasn’t Everything... is a thankfully thrilling addition to the band’s canon. Whether it be Cate Le Bon’s production, Bradford’s growing ease as a performer and eccentric, Lockett’s unexpectedly Low-esque "Tarnung,” or all of the above, this may well be Deerhunter’s most consistent release since Halcyon Digest. I’m even slightly tempted to say it’s better than it, but the sacrilege is too great.

Favorite moment: “What Happens to People” -- totally unique to the Deerhunter canon and already a classic. 

3) Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell!!

I never thought I could ever love an album with a Sublime cover on it, but here we are. In all fairness, the inclusion of “Doin’ Time” matters little when the originals on this treatise on Americana is so glorious.  Between the torchiness and the LA-specific witchiness of songs like “Bartender”, there’s not much on here that I’m able to resist. There may still be haters but “The Greatest” drowns them out a little more with each play.  Favorite Moment: “And we were so obsessed with writing the next best American record” - yeah, thank you for doing that.  2) Karen O & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Truth be told, the first time I listened to this record I cried when it ended because I didn’t want to leave its world. There may have been more radical records by newer artists in 2019, but hearing Karen O doing what she does best, as well as trying many new things, was such a joy to me. I’m probably among only a handful of people who wanted to hear Karen do a straight up disco song in 2019, but we got it and it’s something to be treasured for years to come. To paraphrase Sparks + Franz Ferdinand, collaborations don’t (often) work, but thanks to O’s flawless vocals and Brian Burton’s sometimes Dave Fridmann-esque production, this one is an exception.  Favorite Moment:  I’m tempted to say the whole thing, but “Turn the Light” and “Redeemer” are maybe two of the biggest surprises on an album of many. 

1) Purple Mountains - Purple Mountains 

Purple Mountains is quite possibly a new touchstone in gallows humor. Given David Berman’s suicide less than a month after the record’s release, what should now be a grim and discomfiting listen is so mordant and wry that it somehow overpowers its bleakness. More striking than perhaps even the moments of humor is the album’s tenderness, so beautifully represented in songs like “Snow is Falling in Manhattan” and “I Loved Being My Mother’s Son.” Although it’s undeniably tragic that there will be no more words from Berman, the ones he’s left us with will fascinate and move us for decades to come. 

Favorite Moment: Unsurprisingly, Berman’s lyrical dexterity on this album is beyond measure. From the internal and slant rhymes in a line like “see the plod of the flawed individual looking for a nod from God” to the layers of meaning in “the light of my life is going out tonight”, the wordsmithery here is mesmerizing. If I had the time, I would gladly write an essay on how Berman used color to further emphasize a point. Thanks for the music, David, but thanks especially for the words. 

[feminariden]

Just watched the original Chucky movie Child's Play (1988) and i really loved it, beside some weird badly edited moments in the last part of the movie, the direction did an amazing job with this

That aside, the story is actually awesome and cool, all the characters are charismatic and likable, Chucky is well Chucky and the Barclays aren't just so sweet they will give you diabetes, but they both play really the "smart but super naive" trope really well.

The relationship between Chucky and Andy is so well written and full of character development too, starting with a small child being the unaware henchment of his own killer doll to Andy and Chucky fighting with their wits for their lifes. Should i make a full character review for them when i finish all the movies?

And while i really prefer this one to the reboot, this made me appreciate it more the, they really tried to be original by twisting the main trio (Karen/Andy/Chucky)'s personalities and dynamics; all the way back on why Andy wants the doll, 1988 6yo Andy wants the doll because he is a amol child and "good guy" is his favorite brand, 2019 12 yo Andy wants the doll because it's a fucking Alexa-with-legs, can you blame him? Many IRL adults folks would buy tons of that shit :P

Speaking of which the concept of a serial killer's soul living in a doll for children is way cooler than an souless machine whose only reason to exist is to please his master; both concept are interesting but you just can't beat Charles Lee Ray, you just can't

The fact that Chucky is actually a man bring an incredibly interesting narrative that Robot Chuckbuddi can't, his horrible and disgusting humanity.

Let's think about the second death in the reboot: Chuckbuddi brutally kills the trash guy that saves him from being destroyed just because he is a witness, and obstacle, you can't even call the torture cold because Chuckbuddi don't even care about it, he is just an empty robot

In the original the second death is Eddy, a guy who does nothing in the whole series but betray CLR in the prologue, but because Chucky is human, and he is still able to feel emotions like rage, disgust, anger, surprise, fear, ambitions and shit, he still kills the guy just and only for revenge, you can do the same reasoning for when he kills Karen's beat friend (rip she was cool).

And it's exactly that the reason why the more time goes on the more Chucky becomes a "real boy"... again, even the most sociopathic serial killer can't get of his humanity, hell it's his humanity the reason he is such a monster, literally because he is on the way to become and unholy doll made of flesh and blood, and metaphorically because it's Chucky that can't let go his negative emotions and simply stop committing crimes; It's one of the most unique and dark to the "pinocchio becomes human" trope, and the reboot lacked this

Now, stop with Chucky, i would like to say that baby Alex Vincent was 100% perfect, he played the part perfectly, and overral i think his performance is sorta underrated, like i know everyone that saw the movie loved him, but i can't find him in one SINGLE "best child actor perfomance" compilation and he really deserves it, also.... he is just so so adorable, he mastered cuteness, the way he treats Chucky the first half of movie... 🥺, CLR did NOTHING to deserve to be hugged and kissed on the cheek with so much naive affection by such a angel

And the ending THE MUSIC! They really went off with the credit theme 👌

Conclusion: 9/10 would love to hug Karen and her baby