#and having no interpersonal contact outside of them

[chimerafeathers]

when i was initially playing isat, there were a number of things that pinged on my “overused/shallowly used storytelling tropes” radar (specifically, the version of that radar built from reading too many tumblr posts complaining about or otherwise criticizing “tumblry” tropes—regardless of how much or how little i agree in some cases, my Awareness of them has increased).

then i finished the game, and decided that pretty much everything i had been side-eyeing had been more than earned, given weight and depth beyond my expectations.

and then i got my friend to play the game, and he ended up having a lot of similar initial reactions. specifically, when he got to the “family” scene in the full friendquest run through the house.

my friend had a stronger reaction than i did, but what Odile says here is something that both of us fundamentally disagree with. we ended up talking about the value and importance that intergenerational friendships can have—passing on history, providing frameworks for a range of healthy relationships beyond “family” and “peers” (including what respectful boundaries look like when interacting with safe adults), sharing skills and knowledge, forming a supportive network of people that you can turn to if your blood/legal family fails you. humans are a community-based, highly social species; it’s literally fine and good for an old lady to be friends with a preteen.

but it’s a very Odile thing to say, and tbh i’m more similar to her viewpoint in my personal life in that it takes a very specific level of comfort and intimacy before i will truly consider someone a “friend” rather than “someone i know (/friendly).” but he worried that having it said like that, point blank, would reinforce the concept of “you can Only be friends with people your own age, and the only valid relationships outside of that are Family and Romance (aka precursor to Family).” on top of that, there’s the idea that friendships can’t be “enough” on their own, that they always have to be labeled as something else to be meaningful.

which is a fair concern, in my opinion! but in the full context of the game, and in combination with other elements (ex. the Daydreaming One and Bonnie fitting the party into specific family dynamic labels), what Odile says there is kind of a misdirect. because they ARE friends, whatever else they call each other—and because Siffrin’s unique circumstances mean the idea of “friendship” feels so much more terrifyingly fragile and transient than it might to anyone else.

so following that conversation, unable to properly defend the heavy-handedness without delving into major spoilers but still wanting to get my thoughts about it out, i wrote my train of thought into my notes. (for the record, the “defense” i wrote out was no longer necessary whatsoever once my friend finished the game. he Gets It.)

so here’s what i had, hot off the “AGGHHHH I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE SPOILERS” presses of several months ago (with a couple edits for clarity/more public presentation and to wrap up the end point):

YES friendships can be deep and intense and consuming. that is objectively What Siffrin Is Feeling. HOWEVER. with all due respect, Siffrin’s perspective of interpersonal relationships is fucked and he needs maximum assurance that things aren’t just going to go away.

there are a LOT of levels of friendship. they are relationships that, theoretically, can come and go easily for a lot of people. “we used to be friends.” “someone i used to know.” “an old classmate.” people drop out of contact, change interests and hobbies and lifestyles, move away, get jobs or partners, and suddenly someone who was so important to you becomes a distant thought. someone you might remember on occasion, if you’re reminded they exist somehow.

there are lifelong friendships, too, that can be no less intense or even deeper than the bonds of blood. but how can you know that the person who calls you “friend” means it like that? if the feeling runs deep for you, but the bond is untested by time or distance? what if this is all a friendship of necessity, of convenience, and it will all fall apart as soon as you have no common goal forcing you together?

of course it will! they all say it will, every time they smile and talk about going home to their friends and families and jobs and say I hope you visit! instead of stay, stay, stay with us, we want to stay with you.

it feels like a promise waiting to be broken, when you believe that “this journey meant so much more to me than it did to any of you.”

when your greatest fear is forgetting and being forgotten. (how long until they forget you?)

but the idealized promise of “family” is that the bond does not degrade, that it can persist invisibly in the face of time and distance and change. something that no longer takes persistence to maintain lest you drift apart, because you can survive drifting apart—you will remember, you will be remembered, you will remain connected. something that would instead demand great force or neglect to truly sever.

it does not matter if this is true. Siffrin needs it to be true. they need a bedrock instead of shifting sand, always slipping away from them before they can grasp it. he craves routine, stability, permanence.

there is no guaranteed permanence when it comes to life, to human connection, of course. Siffrin knows this—that everyone they once knew and loved, every bond that might have once shaped them, has been erased, with no means to reclaim what he lost. family included. and Loop acknowledges this, too, at the end—that one day, Siffrin will have to be okay with letting go. he can’t keep them all glued to his side for their entire lives. they know this.

even so, “family” is as permanent as it can get, right? at least, if their friends become family, some of the uncertainty eases. if they all agree on this, it means they aren’t content to let each other fade from memory, to become “someone they traveled with, once upon a time.” so once it’s introduced as a possibility, Siffrin clings, clings, clings to that thought, drawing comfort from the idea that maybe they all feel as much for him as he does for them.

but we know that just saying the word isn’t enough. the loops didn’t break just because they called each other something different. the fear and loneliness run too deep.

even when being called some form of “family,” the bonds seemed so much more thin and fragile than what Siffrin craves.

they were all still going to leave.

Siffrin is trying so goddamn hard to be okay with that. they fool themself into thinking they’re okay with that. because they have to be! everyone else has something to return to, it’s normal for them to have lives beyond journey’s end, it’s just him who will have nothing left once it’s all over, and they’re. fine. it’s fine.

if they hadn’t made that wish (and if somehow they beat the king first try), they would have parted ways, maybe visited each other from time to time, and Siffrin would have done his best to cope while loneliness and fear continued to dissolve them from the inside. because that’s the normal friendly thing to do. it’s what all of them expected the others to want, and were all afraid to vocalize otherwise.

i get the pushback against everything being “found family” these days. i get that sometimes people are ““just”” friends, or mentors, or coworkers, or something that defies labeling, and that those relationships are rich and varied and don’t have to have the “family” label slapped on top to be important, pigeonholed into rigid set roles, because a lot of the time it doesn’t fit and only serves to undervalue and warp the nuances of the relationships that they actually are. i LOVE when friendship is treated as something that can drive someone just as insane with love as romance or family. in the real world, people should be encouraged to cultivate a huge range of different types of friendships and relationships to broaden our understanding of the world, each other, and ourselves, and prioritizing family over all else can be actively harmful.

i also think that if Siffrin could conceptualize that fact as something that could be anything but agonizingly one-sided, maaayyyybe the time loops would not have happened! i think that if after All That, the rest of the party had gone “you’re important to us, but like, we still do have other shit to do. we’ll keep in touch though!” Siffrin might have just imploded. actually, sorry, scratch that, that literally happened in the game and the world nearly ended.

this story has to be “found family.” maybe they’ll get there one day, but Siffrin is simply not well-adjusted enough (or at all) to trust that any other kind of relationship is real enough to last. and it takes NEARLY BREAKING REALITY for them to accept even that much! that it’s possible for him, specifically! that the words aren’t empty dreams, that they’ve found something that they’re allowed to keep, that it’s not as one-sided as he’d convinced himself out of fear and self-loathing. that they won’t forget or be forgotten.

if Siffrin didn’t have the exact fears and insecurities and traumas that he has, i might still be looking at all those heavy-handed family conversations and going “urgh, okay, we get it, this is a bit much.”

but now i kinda appreciate those convos way more??? because it feels more like a conversation, a point of contrast with what this story means when it invokes “found family.”

it's not about the rigid roles or cozy aesthetics of family. Siffrin is not looking for a mom or a cousin or a sister or a little sibling. they want a home. somewhere to go, people to return to instead of just “visit.” roots, connection, permanence, safety. that is what “family” means to him. why his sadness is Mal du Pays—homesickness.

that’s also why just saying it isn’t enough! that’s why the final loop had to be ugly and broken. Siffrin needed to see that these people wouldn’t abandon them, even at their worst. that they could see him lashing out and bitter and needy and hurtful and still see someone worth loving. and that they would do this all before the word “family” is ever spoken, and would still do it even if it was never said.

the heavy emphasis on family and labels is, in some ways, a misdirect from the actual problems and the actual solution. the full friendquest run is a fakeout for Siffrin in that "the power of friendship" isn't enough to save them—at least, the one-sided, shiny veneer of it isn't. it takes raw, painful, soul-baring vulnerability—no masks to hide the ugliness, no "i'm fine, tell me how i can help you," no running away. the solution is ultimately "the power of friendship" and/or "found family," whatever you want to call it, as long as by those things you mean something messy and stubborn and mutual in its earnest devotion, riddled with misunderstandings and mistakes and the ever-present capacity to hurt each other, and still, always, bursting with love.

[bossuary]

There's no universe where I accept that Lucanis knows anything about seduction. Sorry.

He recognizes flirting. That's it.

No innuendos, no natural smiles, no mirroring of gestures. He simply doesn't have the range, darling. And how could he? When would he have spent un-structured, non-training time with his peer group in a social setting? What peers? What friends?

To develop comfort and ease with this sort of thing it can't be a single interaction, it has to be repeated, sustained. It has to be iterated upon. There's just...no fucking way Caterina (or anyone in her employ) let Lucanis wander around making friends outside the Crows, or pursuing any of the dumb shit that people naturally pursue to fulfill themselves and be a part of society.

The fledglings probably steal time away to rebel, to goof off and get in trouble. But not Lucanis. Not the First Talon's demon of a grandson. All the knowledge he has, his skills of observation, his contacts...that's work shit. He never went to school with someone who became an accountant or a bricklayer. Never traded silly stories about pets or vacations. His socialization was limited to whatever served the role Caterina assigned to him.

The only reason Lucanis developed 'cooking' as a hobby is because he has to eat anyway, and so does everyone else. You can't get beaten for learning how to feed yourself. His only other hobby is knives. Because he doesn't understand hobbies. He didn't 'train to be an assassin,' he was forced to be THE ASSASSIN. Like, the platonic ideal of an assassin. The wiki entry.

He makes it clear that his life did not allow for personal pursuits. He says it in a lot of ways, sometimes literally but often just in how he reacts to Rook and the others. There wasn't purpose in becoming interested in things just for the fun of it, for self-actualization. Without that, he lost out on the development of interpersonal skills most of us would take for granted.

A non-comprehensive list of things most people learned to do while Lucanis was sweating and starving and not crying out at the impact of Caterina's cane:

how to work with a diverse group of people

how to resolve conflict

how to process failure

how to identify needs and boundaries...and express them

how to engage in social conversation

how to daydream

how to play

how to love

Stuff you would pick up without even realizing it, from your friends and schoolmates, your co-workers...your parents. I don't want to make it seem like I think Lucanis' life was wall-to-wall shit. He is wealthy in a way that is beyond the reach of every companion (save Dorian) we've ever had, across all four DA games. He has a support system. His kindness, humor, and ability to make a place for himself at the Lighthouse post-Ossuary mark him as a man of unimaginable resiliency. So, he must have carved out some goodness in his life.

My point is that the good moments were the exception, and in my view, they wouldn't have given him a foundation on which to build any kind of meaningful experience in terms of desire, seduction, romance, and sex.

He reads a lot! That's helpful. And I credit Lucanis' training for likely giving him a sharp insight on body language and facial expressions. But knowing HOW to read doesn't mean you've understood WHAT you read. Romance novels aren't primers for physical relationships any more than sci-fi books are manuals for technology you just haven't encountered yet.

He's 36 and he's never been on vacation, gone ice-skating, raised a pet companion, or had a relationship. He doesn't know how to send flowers, dress provocatively, or plan a romantic weekend in the countryside. He KNOWS that he doesn't know how. The Lighthouse is full of people who have done these things, and more. Rook included.

HERE, in the pantry, Lucanis moves forward without a single piece of lived experience to guide him. The man who plans his every move six weeks advance, and has a knife for every occasion is absolutely flying blind. What he knows is that he wants Rook (a thing as deep as it is new) and Rook has been so clear about wanting him that even if this goes Wrong, Rook will make it okay, somehow. And I just can't reckon that any version of him as secretly suave and confident is preferable or more alluring than this one: the weird little guy who, deSpite all of the above factors, still fucking Goes For It.

That guy can get it.

[lilybecca1]

My analysis on Midoriya and why I think he has undiagnosed BPD

Throughout Izuku's childhood, he was always seen as weird, off-putting, an outsider to social norms. Being left out, being seen as "different" is very common amongst people, especially kids, with undiagnosed disorders. So let's jump straight into it. What is BPD and how does it develop? (Contains manga spoilers)

Here are a few summaries amongst many that I have found (also, I'm not a psychologist or a healthcare professional, these are all just based on my own observations):

BPD, short for Borderline Personality Disorder, is a severe mental health condition characterized by a pervasive and challenging pattern of symptoms including emotional dysregulation, unstable self-identity, fear of abandonment, intense and unstable interpersonal relationships, impulsivity, and self-harming behaviors.

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) experience extreme emotions. Once a powerful emotion is triggered, it is very hard for them to calm down. Because of this, they often have unstable relationships. They also engage in self-destructive behavior.

Researchers think that BPD is caused by a combination of factors, including:

Stressful or traumatic life events (for example, emotional abuse, neglect, often having felt afraid, upset, unsupported or invalidated),

And genetic factors.

Symptoms may include:

A strong fear of abandonment. This includes going to extreme measures so you're not separated or rejected, even if these fears are made up.

A pattern of unstable, intense relationships, such as believing someone is perfect one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel.

Quick changes in how you see yourself. This includes shifting goals and values, as well as seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist.

Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality.

Self-injury

Wide mood swings that last from a few hours to a few days. These mood swings can include periods of being very happy, irritable or anxious, or feeling shame.

Ongoing feelings of emptiness.

Inappropriate, strong anger, such as losing your temper often, being sarcastic or bitter, or physically fighting.

Now, let's get into it.

BPD, like all disorders, isn't the same for every person. Symptoms and the intensity of these symptoms can vary. It can make some people's life and relationships really difficult, but others can go on for years undiagnosed living a completely happy life without even knowing there's anything wrong. Midoriya's case, in my opinion, is the latter. These symptoms don't surface that obviously in him, but I believe, in different circumstances (queue those Villain Deku and traumatized Deku fics) these symptoms and behaviours could actually turn into much bigger problems and affect his life in a much more impactful way. But, in any case, let's analyze these symptoms and how they may have surfaced in him throughout the manga.

Of course, I decided to turn to TikTok as well and watch some actual explanations and experiences from people who actually have been diagnosed with this disorder in order to understand BPD on a more subjective level, not just objective. And what I have found turned out to be very interesting.

People with BPD often develop a very emotionally attached connection with one specific person in their life, which is their "Favorite person". This person can be anything including a friend, family, therapist, partner, etc. This is a person that someone with BPD can become dependent on. They often view them as a person who's perfect and can do nothing wrong. They might overshare, and expect availability from that person at all times. The dependence on this person goes beyond just adoration, because they are idolizing them to the point where it's all consuming. A person with BPD can switch from absolute adoration one moment to absolute hate the next. They might have trouble with boundaries, sometimes even having zero boundaries when it comes to that person. Their life constantly revolves around that person and the favorite person's identity becomes their own, and they can feel literal physical pain when losing that person. You see where I'm getting at?

I believe Midoriya has developed this dependency and attachment towards one particular person, can you guess who?

Yep, Bakugo Katsuki

Midoriya views Kacchan as perfect, as the embodiment of the image of victory. It's like he blindly ignores Katsuki's bad traits and the things he has done to him, and he idealizes him to the point that Katsuki became his symbol of victory. So much so that he himself has absorbed this identity that he built around Katsuki, for example during battles, which we see during the moments he clearly imitates Bakugo and mirrors him. Izuku "ILoveKacchan'sPersonalSpace" Midoriya basically has zero boundaries when it comes to Katsuki, I mean y'all let's not forget he basically stalked him and even knows what body part Katsuki washes first in the shower. Not to mention he gives zero fucks about boundaries when he butts into Bakugo's emotions even though Bakugo has clearly tried setting boundaries for almost their whole time knowing each other. Deku has also overshared with Katsuki(and only Katsuki), when he told him about OFA even though it was literally meant to be the one secret that he should have kept to himself. His life has always revolved around Bakugo to the point he cannot keep himself away from him.

And talk about experiencing physical pain when losing the favorite person...remember when Bakugo was kidnapped? Yeah, remember that kinda cringe and second hand embarrassing, absolutely animalistic scream that Midoriya let out? Yeah, well..... And then when he actually lost Katsuki, when he saw his dead body. Izuku lost control of his quirks in the middle of a freaking battle, LITERALLY started choking on Blackwhip and screaming in pain, and Blackwhip turned into a heart pierced by three swords that symbolizes intense and extreme physical and emotional pain. Need I say more? No.

And if you think Midoriya isn't capable of extreme hate too, ahhahaha, you're wrong. He can fr switch from absolutely adoring his Kacchan to planning how he's gonna rip off his legs in his diary. Yeah, I haven't forgotten about that one, Izuku.

So, it's very clear that Bakugo is Midoriya's FP and that he has developed this unhealthy, borderline toxic dependency towards him. But let's break down his character even further.

People with BPD tend to engage in self-harming and dangerous activities impulsively, diving in without thinking, in order to feel something. Well, we can tick that one too. Problem child number 1 is known to do and jump into things impulsively without thinking, even if it causes self-injury. In fact, he sometimes engages these self-destructive behaviours on purpose, like all those times when he broke his own bones over and over again. All this just so he can make Todoroki use his right side. Seriously, Deku. Yes, they are training to be heroes, but noone in the class is as reckless and impulsive as Izuku.

Which actually brings me to my next point, which is people with BPD objectifying themselves for validation, going insane lengths just to prove their own self-worth, never having a clear sense of self and seeing themselves as bad or as if they don't exist. I have talked about this in a previous theory of mine too, which you can read here. Midoriya Izuku does not have a clear sense of self. He mirrors others around him, behaving according to the mood and expectations of others. He has no sense of self, because he has built his identity around wanting to be a hero. To him, he is only worth something if he reaches that goal, that dream. Meaning he has no self worth or identity unless he does as he is expected to do, aka be a hero and put everyone else before himself, sacrificing his own needs, and in worse cases his own well-being. He basically objectifies his own self and turns himself into a simple puppet, a Deku, an empty vessel that can hold OFA and his dream of being a hero. To himself, he is nothing more than an object that's meant to be sacrificed if it's needed.

Now, let's continue with: emotional dysregulation, extreme mood swings, and inappropriate, strong anger, such as losing your temper often, being sarcastic or bitter, or physically fighting.

Well, first let's talk about something that's called "splitting". BPD is a disorder that causes extreme mood swings, making the person go one second from feeling happy and fine, to the next second feeling complete, pure rage. There is a fine line between these two moods, and it's very easy to fall over the edge. For some people, it can happen multiple times a day and could last from minutes to hours to even days, and for others, it can happen very rarely, it depends on how severe the symptoms are for each person. One thing in common though, is that splitting occurs when a specific memory, trauma or emotion gets triggered.

There are different types of splits, one of them being Rage split. Rage splits usually come with sudden outbursts of anger that seemingly come out of nowhere. When it occurs, the person might feel a tightness in their chest, their vision might narrow. They might experience a burning sensation in their chest as if their heart is trying to escape. This overwhelming emotion of anger can cause them to become infuriated with someone or something for no apparent reason. These episodes can cause impulsive actions, inappropriate speech and violent behaviour. It's almost like a cathartic release of emotion, and oftentimes the person doesn't remember the event fully, or only remembers it as a blur.

Now let's compare Midoriya's rage and outbursts and how they could be considered as splitting.

Scenario One: Izuku screaming his ass off saying GIVE ME MY KACCHAN BACK, charging at the obviously overpowered villains with two broken arms. Now, we can all agree that this was pretty out of character for him, and everyone was like Okay wtf. So the threat of losing Katsuki(which also directly correlates to his fear of abandonment) triggered him and made him impulsively and recklessly run towards the villains, even though he was completely defenseless.

Scenario Two: "Monoma, you b*tch". Midoriya literally unlocking a NEW QUIRK cause Monoma was talking shit about his FP, causing violent behaviour from him, getting tunnel vision, being completely OUT of it to the point they had to use Shinso's quirk to make him snap out of the episode. And now, this wasn't just about some rando insulting Bakugo. In my theory I explained how Monoma insulting Bakugo was essentially Monoma insulting Izuku's own values and identity. Because he has absorbed Bakugo's ideals, his values, his desire to win. Monoma talking shit about him felt like he just insulted who Izuku was as a person, as if he jabbed at the very essence of Izuku's dream, of his ideals. THAT was why it triggered him so bad.

Scenario Three: Midoriya vs Shigaraki 1. FP got stabbed, Midoriya immediately saw red and ran straight into the villain's hand without thinking about the consequences. He almost rage quit y'all. He raged so hard he bit the goddamn tendril like a freaking dog. He disassociated so hard he got tunnel vision and his eyes actually lit ablaze. Bruh.

Scenario There'stoomuchtokeepcount: Midoriya vs Shigaraki 2. Aka Deku AFK-ing in the middle of a freaking war and being like I'm out, y'all on your own now, after seeing FP's dead body. Tightness in his chest, unable to breathe, vision narrowed, in fact, completely blocked because of Smokescreen. A burning sensation in his chest as if his heart wanted to escape = Three of Swords. A cathartic release of emotion as his quirks released and gotten out of control. His biggest rage split moment right there.

But, rage isn't the only type of splitting that can occur. Another type is Isolation split.

Isolation splits usually stem from a deep-seated fear of abandonment. You may find yourself feeling unwelcome and unwanted, even in familiar environments such as school. You might have an urge to push people away, and often cut yourself off from others. For some, this means aggressively cutting people out of their lives for no apparent reason, for others, it might be a more subtle withdrawal from social groups and conversations. All the while hoping that someone will notice and ask them how they are doing. It might also include suppressing anger into anxiety, guilt, or self-hatred, identity dysmorphia, self-sabotaging relationships to be in control, stress-related paranoia, loss of contact with reality, and on-going feelings of emptiness.

Reminds me of a certain Vigilante Arc.

Isolation splits usually stem from fear of abandonment. In Izuku's case, why did he leave UA? Well, on the surface level, it was to protect his classmates from harm. But on a deeper level..

During his Vigilante Arc, he felt like he had to carry the burden of OFA all by himself. He felt like this responsibility that he carried made him a burden for others, including Katsuki, his friends, his family, and All Might. He feared that they would also realize this and feel like he's a burden, so he pushed them away, cut himself off, and left before they could leave him behind. Of course, this is not the truth, but this is what he believed. His feelings of anxiety towards the possibility of losing them in the war, his guilt of being a burden, his self-sabotaging is what made him believe that he is unwanted, unwelcome. During splits, the person views everything as either black or white, no in-between. Either all good, or all bad. He wanted to feel in control by leaving them behind for "their sake", almost maniacally insistent on being alone, like in the scene where All Might wanted to check on him and give him some food, but Deku ultimately ended up pushing him away and leaving him on the ground too.

During these episodes, people with BPD cannot logically think the situation through, they don't understand that their intense paranoia and belief that everyone hates them is just the reflection of their own feelings. During this episode, this Vigilante Arc(the episode didn't last for the entire arc, but there were probably higher and lower moments instead) he lost contact with reality and lived in a state of constant paranoia and a feeling of emptiness. He believed it was for the "better", but deep inside, that child inside of him just wanted someone to save him, to pull him back and not let go. Deep down he was just a child who just wanted some reassurance and to be validated. Like in his letter to Katsuki. Although we didn't see the whole letter, there were snippets of "Help me", and "thanks for everything" in it, reflecting Izuku's own feelings of "Please love me" and how even though he said he wanted to be alone, deep down he just wanted Katsuki to save him, to be there by his side.

Lastly, another symptom of BPD that can occur, albeit rarely, is the idolization, devaluation and ghosting of certain people, specifically the Favorite Person. This might just, technically, explain the ending of the manga and Chapter 431. Midoriya subconsciously idolized Katsuki his whole life seeing him as perfect. But as we all know, nobody is perfect. Midoriya had always viewed Kacchan as his image of victory, as someone who cannot lose. Yet, he has. The very person who he believed could never ever lose died on the battlefield. The person who believed was the strongest broke down crying in front of him saying he wants to be on his heels for the rest of his life. And what was Izuku's reaction?

Stop crying, this isn't like you.

Midoriya progressively went through the devaluation of Bakugo Katsuki's character, of his Favorite Person. Now, this is just a theory, because devaluation doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. It just means that he had stopped blindly idolizing Katsuki and realized that he is just a human too.

But in some cases of BPD, devaluation also comes with losing interest. Of finding a new favorite person who they see as their new "idol". Or to put it simply, Uraraka. Now, I don't want to go into more details because I am still very much hurt from Chapter 431, but we have seen an obvious ignorance, almost ghosting from Izuku's side towards Katsuki, something that is completely the opposite of how he would have acted before the war. Instead, he is looking at Ochaco as if she was his hero, and he sees her as a person that he wants to get to know more, to get closer to. Leaving Bakugo behind.

I spy an untreated BPD right there. But how could this disorder have developed in Midoriya? Well, it can be due to either genetics, or a series of traumatic events during childhood, for example emotional abuse, neglect, and going through feelings like being afraid, upset, unsupported or unvalidated.

Well emotional abuse came from the bullying. Neglect came from his father leaving. Being afraid was also because of the bullying and Bakugo. He felt unsupported by his own mother when it came to his dream of becoming a hero after being diagnosed quirkless. And he felt unvalidated his whole life simply because he didn't have a quirk. So yeah. I'm pretty sure these were all reasons that he has developed BPD, although not a severe case. If he actually turned into a villain and never got into UA, I imagine these symptoms could have worsened, making him extremely irritable, prone to snapping and having emotional outbursts and having an even more toxic codependency in his relationships.

I'm not saying that BPD is anything bad, I also have a friend who has BPD and it doesn't make you a bad person, people with BPD just simply experience emotions more intensely than others.

So yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this analysis, and of course, let me know what you guys think!

[vii-sparks]

"so, vii, what are all the to-be combiner teams doing in your au?"

asked no one yet but i am posting about it anyway because i got carried away writing about them <3

infodump incoming ⬇

—

STUNTICONS

COMMANDER: Motormaster of Tarn SECOND: Dead End of Uraya FUNCTION: Vanguard  STATUS: MIA LOCATION: ??? [1]

Personal annotations by Decepticon Third-in-command Soundwave of Polyhex, Earth Year 202X (Standard Cybertronian Stellar Cycle XXXXX)

Stunticons: formed with Motormaster of Tarn as its core member. First deployment: standard stellar cycle XXXX, shortly after the Decepticon annexation of Tarn. 

Membership: Motormaster of Tarn, Dead End of Uraya, Drag Strip (Velocitron), Wildrider of Iacon, Breakdown of Kaon. Medic: Knock Out (Velocitron) ← No longer associated with the Stunticons, currently stationed on Cybertron until further notice. 

EDIT (Earth Year 202X): Knock Out is currently on Earth.

[1] Last known location: Eridani star system. No communications since the Nemesis’s crash on Earth. Recent attempts at making contact: unsuccessful. Assumed MIA until further information can be obtained.

CONSTRUCTICONS 

COMMANDER: Scrapper of Kaon SECOND: Hook of Kaon  FUNCTION: Repair & Maintenance STATUS: Active LOCATION: Earth - The Nemesis [1]

Personal annotations by Decepticon Third-in-command Soundwave of Polyhex, Earth Year 202X (Standard Cybertronian Stellar Cycle XXXXX)

Constructicons: formerly the made-to-order Constructibots. Swore allegiance to Megatron of Kaon shortly before the Decepticon Revolution. Their individual medical and demolition services were employed throughout the Decepticon Interstate up until the planetary evacuation.

Membership: Scrapper of Kaon, Hook of Kaon, Bonecrusher of Kaon, Long Haul of Kaon, Mixmaster of Kaon, Scavenger of Kaon.

[1] Constructicons: consistent members of the Nemesis crew since launch. Hook: currently Chief Medical Officer aboard the seabed-bound Nemesis. Observation: Despite the complications with rank, Constructicon interpersonal dynamics have not been significantly affected. Significantly few Nemesis crew members → reduced medbay workload. 

EDIT (Earth Year 202X): Constructicons → now capable of combining into a giant mechanism that refers to himself as “Devastator.” Devastator: powerful, like the Autobots’ Defensor, but not exceptionally intelligent. Further research and understanding required.

COMBATICONS

COMMANDER: Vortex of Tarn SECOND: Blast Off of Vos FUNCTION: Elite Combat Unit [1] STATUS: MIA [2] LOCATION: ???

Personal annotations by Decepticon Third-in-command Soundwave of Polyhex, Earth Year 202X (Standard Cybertronian Stellar Cycle XXXXX)

Combaticons: personally selected by Starscream in anticipation for Operation Tenebrae (Praxus), standard stellar cycle XXXX. First deployment: standard stellar cycle XXXX, shortly after Air Force Lieutenant Skywarp’s first aerial bombardment of the Praxus Strip. 

Membership: Vortex of Tarn, Blast Off of Vos, Brawl of Uraya, Swindle of Kaon. Medic: Flatline of Vos. 

Note: Incident A-XXX.XXXX at the Battle of Asteroides Point (Altihex) saw Vortex, Brawl, Swindle, and Blast Off briefly sent to Science Lead Shockwave for “behavioral adjustment.”

Note: They are a particular source of gossip within the Decepticon army even at present, and there are common nicknames for each of them that are still in use. Vortex: “The Sweeper.” Blast Off: “The Ferrymech.” Swindle: “The Collector.” Brawl: “The Annihilator.”

[1] Combaticons: act outside of the standard chain of command and usually take on their own assignments. When called on, they answer only to Decepticon Second-in-command Starscream or Decepticon leader Megatron. 

[2] Left Cybertron, accompanying the Nemesis, aboard specialized starship the Vae Victis. Last known location: Mu Arae star system. Similarly to the Stunticons, there has been no communication within the last standard vorn besides a corrupted transmission. Assumed MIA until further information can be obtained.

COMBATICONS (Revised - Earth Year 202X)

COMMANDER: Onslaught of [Fugue Valley] SECOND: Blast Off of Vos FUNCTION: Elite Combat Unit STATUS: Active LOCATION: Earth - The Nemesis

Personal annotations by Acting Decepticon Third-in-command Onslaught of [Fugue Valley], Earth Year 202X (Standard Cybertronian Stellar Cycle XXXXX). Note: As Soundwave no longer aligns himself with Megatron, I have taken the liberty of adding the following information in light of recent changes.

After their belated arrival on Earth via stolen starship of unknown name and origin, leadership of the Combaticons has been transferred to myself (Acting Third-in-command Onslaught). 

Membership: Onslaught of [Fugue Valley], Vortex of Tarn, Blast Off of Vos, Brawl of Uraya, Swindle of Kaon. Medic Flatline of Vos is currently in custody of the Decepticon Justice Division, whose exact location is unknown but confirmed active.

After the successful retrieval of the Enigma of Combination from Autobot possession, the Combaticons are now capable of uniting as the combiner “Bruticus.” Refer to Shockwave’s Key Program notes, subsection “Combiners” added by former Second-in-command Starscream and current Acting Second-in-command Thundercracker. 

—

AERIALBOTS

COMMANDER: Silverbolt of Vos SECOND: Skydive of Vos FUNCTION: Aerial Assault & Transport STATUS: KIA (BNR) [1] LOCATION: ???

Personal annotations by Autobot Security Operations Lead Prowl of Polyhex, Standard Cybertronian Stellar Cycle XXXXX

The Aerialbots were formed to counter the Decepticons’ air superiority in standard stellar cycle XXXX. Silverbolt, as an alumnus of the Vosian Armament Complex’s elite military college and the former ‘pride of Vos,’ was chosen to lead due to his unmatched flying prowess. 

Their ranks consist(ed) of Silverbolt of Vos, Skydive of Vos, Slingshot of Praxus, Fireflight of Vos, and Air Raid of Tarn.

[1] The Aerialbots were recently shot down over the Battle of Ira Desert (Hydrus-2) while the rest of our forces were caught off guard by the appearance of the Decepticon Justice Division. In our haste to retreat, we had to leave their bodies behind. Retrieval may be possible at a later date.

EDIT (Standard Cybertronian Stellar Cycle XXXXX): Bodies not found. A memorial service is not possible at this time.

PROTECTOBOTS

COMMANDER: Hot Spot of Tarn SECOND: Streetwise of Praxus FUNCTION: Emergency Response & Relations STATUS: Active LOCATION: Earth - The Ark / Protectobot HQ [1]

Personal annotations by Autobot Second-in-command Prowl of Polyhex, Earth Year 202X (Standard Cybertronian Stellar Cycle XXXXX)

The five now-Protectobots each volunteered to escort the Enigma of Combination to Earth in the local year 202X. They were then officially made a squad by Autobot leader Optimus Prime’s (arbitrary) will, with Hot Spot—as the sole member with significant leadership experience—chosen to lead them. Hot Spot thus selected Streetwise, my former Security Operations second-in-command, as his lieutenant.

Their ranks consist of Hot Spot of Tarn, Streetwise of Praxus, Groove of Kalis, Blades of Vos, and First Aid of Tarn. 

Note: Shortly after their arrival, Hot Spot saved a human (refer to “Noah [Noa] Suzuki”) from falling at risk to his own life in the middle of a battle (refer to Incident 06.XX-202X). Despite my repeated warnings against involving one of the planetary natives’ youth with our internal affairs, as one human teenager (refer to “Matthew [Matt] Zhou”) is more than enough, the Protectobots have since formed a close friendship with her. 

Upon their arrival, an interception by Decepticons (refer to Incident 06.XX.202X-A) prompted Hot Spot to use the Enigma of Combination. Consequently, the Protectobots now have the ability to form a combined mechanism known as “Defensor.” Despite the Protectobots all being overdue for psychological evaluations, Defensor is a remarkably docile and obedient soldier, even when struggling with internal conflict. Refer to Autobot Weapons & Engineering Leads Wheeljack and Perceptor’s Defensor Findings notes for further details. 

[1] As a show of goodwill between our forces and local human authorities, a building serving as the headquarters for the Protectobots was built recently in a joint Cybertronian-Terran construction project. 

[mikuni14]

I wonder if each episode will start with a confusing scene from the future that will haunt us and drive us crazy 🤡 (I also wonder if 4 Minutes will end with explaining all the plots and threads, because as we know, not everything was in DFF)

I read some theories and I see that the one that is often repeated is that Tyme specifically approached Great to seduce him because he is conducting some secret operation against his family. A few questions:

if he knows this family, it means he knows who Great is (and let's say he recognized his name on the note)

why didn't he approach Great earlier, why didn't he arrange a "random" meeting earlier

why would he approach him and seduce him at all? What good would that do him?

I know that we all live in a BL bubble, but the probability of Tyme seducing Great outside of our bubble is actually pretty small, especially in those circumstances

Tyme would have to base the success of his mission on Great accepting his advances instead of reporting him to the hospital management for inappropriate behavior and maybe even stalking

well, I'm sorry, but even the most handsome doctor standing suggestively between a patient's legs and admitting that he knows their name from a private note wouldn't be able to gain someone's trust, quite the opposite. In reality, Tyme only manages to do this because Great already has visions of him and is intrigued. But please pay attention to Great's body language - if it weren't for these visions, he wouldn't be so "compliant" with the doc

why would Tyme even admit that he knows as much about him as his name and tell him how he found out about it, which was pretty weird. This sounds disturbing and off-putting to any person

if Tyme wanted to get closer to Great, it would be better for him to befriend him, gain his trust as a confidant of his problems, someone who supports him, shows a positive kind of friendship (which is exceptionally easy compared to Great's friends 😬), not to stick out with excessive knowledge about him (and his groin) I absolutely don't deny that Tyme may be conducting his operation against Great's family, it's also possible that seeing Great's name, he decided to get to know him for some of his own reasons. But this meeting is accidental, Tyme may already have some plan going on and by contacting Great right now, he may try to gain something, but he may also jeopardize this plan. Basing all this on Great's unknown sexuality is a game that could end badly for Tyme as a doctor and as a "spy". It's just.... idk. Somehow there is too much coincidence here. At the moment I am leaning towards Tyme being sincerely interested in Great 😉

Tyme is an interesting character in general, and I personally agree with his description here by @biochemjess. Already in ep 1 I was intrigued by the fact that he wants to be a surgeon, which means limiting interpersonal contact. His scenes with patients indicate that he doesn't feel a deeper connection with them and their problems, their pain. I would not be surprised if he chose this profession for a purely economic reason, to become a good surgeon and earn good money and have contact with patients only on the operating table 🤔 I was also intrigued by his reaction to what the nurses say about him.

Of course, this is only episode 2, in DFF all the surprising plot twists appeared later, so now I am writing everything in my clown makeup 🤡

I really like how the characters played by JJay and Fuaiz meet the same way in each universe. Fuaiz stands in the doorway and JJay has an ✨epiphany✨

(The mustache has to go. EDIT: @italianpersonwithashippersheart made me look at the mustache from a different angle, and after much thought I decided that it could stay 😌)

[obstinaterixatrix]

Do u know any good mob psycho 100 fanfics?? Or authors??

well obviously my sister but I’m guessing you’re the same anon so 1) you already know her fics 2) you want different recs from what’s on her list (some of them being fics I rec’d to her lol). recs will skew heavily seri/rei and I’m just going through my bookmarks so it’s gonna be most recently read to oldest read. also seconding sister’s recs of bobmoss and crookedturtle. but I’ll add a fic from each anyway because I already wrote something for one while I was drafting this (oops)

Recollection by CowardlyBean

This is the journal of missing 31 year old Reigen Arataka, distributed with permission from friends and family. The version presented in this document has been kindly edited with added commentary by a loyal customer of his. -Editor’s Note

gen, experimental and in progress at 14k so definitely deserves more love than it’s getting. inspired by house of leaves; as the summary says, it’s some rando writing annotations about reigen’s journal, but Something Weird Is Going On. the 4th chapter updated so I actually need to catch up. also, sister rec’d this fic to me

Like Acid Reflux, or Love by partingxshot

Dating Reigen is like dating a single dad—only with more children, weirder scruples, and an extreme ruthlessness vis-à-vis group takoyaki discounts. He's not hot enough for this.

OR: "Me, You and Steve" by Garfunkel and Oates but with fifteen million teenagers.

OR: Outsider POV exploring Reigen’s dedication to his gaggle of bizarre children through an ill-fated dating attempt.

OR: Serizawa gets bruxism.

gen(/pre-relationship seri/rei), oneshot, 7k. oc/reigen breakup lmao. extremely funny concept, extremely good execution

Dream Dial by Alakazamboni

For the better part of nine years, Arataka has proudly worked in customer service at a behemoth of a company. At least, that's what he remembers, but a strange illness and a mysterious caller keeps trying to convince him otherwise. It doesn't help that this caller has the power to distort reality.

seri/rei, in progress, 16k. great uncanny atmosphere, and also reigen is trapped in time prison as a miserable office worker. hasn’t been updated for a while but read it anyway, the stoping point is fine

What We Make by crookedturtle

Reigen and Tome are kidnapped from the Spirits and Such office to be used as leverage against Mob. They have two goals: to contact the outside world, and keep each other safe. In doing so they engage in a dangerous game of lies and manipulation with their captors—a game with potentially deadly consequences.

gen (bg seri/rei), complete, 36k. Good for whump and high stakes interpersonal maneuvering & drama. I liked how the story extends beyond rescue and goes into how everyone navigates the fallout

Man's Best Friend by bobmoss

A cursed dog gets left at Spirits and Such. Anyone who pets it is doomed to die a horrible death.

Reigen, of course, pets it.

seri/rei, oneshot, 4k. funny and cute and sweet :) there’s a very charming tentative & tender vibe

heart line by ruthwrites

It doesn’t really matter, he reminds himself. He’s making a change, just like all of Reigen’s clients. What’s on his hands isn’t set in stone. He just has to make sure Reigen doesn’t see it— even if it might feel nice to have that steady attention, Reigen’s hands that are so much nicer than Serizawa’s folding around his.

(or: Reigen starts offering palm readings as a service, leading to Serizawa having to confront his feelings for his boss.)

seri/rei, oneshot, 6k. getting together fluff, a fun light read that also highlights serizawa’s insecurities—the internal narration has good character voice

If you won't believe me when I say it, believe me when I don't by deathdefied

Two years after Reigen invited Serizawa to work for him, he still can't quite categorize his feelings for his coworker. Instead of actually dealing with those feelings like an adult and talking to his friend, he decided to get really paranoid and overthink everything Serizawa does.

seri/rei, complete, 26k. reigen drives himself nuts lmao

Obvious by skeilig

Tome’s perspective on Reigen and Serizawa’s developing relationship.

gen (but about seri/rei), oneshot, 3k. I like outsider perspective getting together fics, especially when the perspective character is like ‘I’m actually not invested in this except when it affects me directly’

Cover Me by flecksofpoppy

Reigen’s shadow seems longer as the days move forward, more solitary. The cuts on his face heal and the ache in his bones go away, but a new sting replaces it. It’s loneliness, the thing he had managed to avoid ever since a primary school-aged kid who could make cups float stumbled into his office so many years ago.

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. getting together fic that shows off a little of reigen’s gloomier side, it’s cute

loved you just a little too much by shcherbatskayas

You learn how to let go.

(It doesn't come naturally.)

gen(ish), oneshot, 2k. 2nd person character study of serizawa’s relationship with touichiro, I liked the ambivalence; effectively captures development over time with a relatively short wordcount.

offering genuine help with genuine results by suitablyskippy

“The curse was pretty clear on me not telling lies,” concedes Reigen. “It was pretty clear on me telling the truth. But,” as he lifts one finger, already sliding into the same educational tone he generally uses for imparting wisdom to Mob about life and love and the overall holistic benefits of making sure he’s always available for unexpected overtime work on weekends, “telling the truth isn’t necessarily the same as being honest, is it?”

“You’re the professional liar,” says Dimple. “You tell me.”

(Being cursed to only tell the truth and being cursed with Dimple as an employee are pretty much equally bad, as far as Reigen's stress levels are concerned.)

gen, oneshot, 2k. the tags include friends with no benefits whatsoever, which is very apt. Very funny to have reigen and dimple be petty and shady

a slightly more miraculous miracle by suitablyskippy

“Rumour has it that something impossible’s happened. Something that could never have happened. That shouldn’t have been able to happen.” In a single slick move Mezato produces a tiny voice recorder from an inside pocket, flips it open and active, and holds it up before Mob’s mouth to ask him, in a tone of devastating intensity: “Do you know anything about… a miracle, Mob-kun?”

Mob doesn’t hesitate. “We had maths homework to hand in,” he says. “But now we don’t have to. We don’t even have to go to the lesson.”

(The sun is shining, the birds are singing, Salt Middle School has been closed by an unexplained miracle, and the only thing wrong in Spice City is the fact that nothing is even slightly wrong at all.)

teru/mob, incomplete, 55k. for the most part I haven’t been repeating authors on this list, but listen. listen to me. I need you to listen. it is extremely unlikely for this fic to ever be completed. but hark, lest this sad probability turn you away and leave you dispassionately scrolling to the next fic, I need you (you specifically) to know that if I were in the same room as you, I would be wrestling the phone/mouse/trackpad/touchscreen/etc from your hands and furiously clicking the link. when I bookmarked this fic in 2017 I described it as having “some breathtakingly sensical prose and the funniest misunderstandings I’ve ever read”. trust me from seven years ago. open your heart.

skylight by inexhaustible

unconnected snapshots in what might, in some worlds, be something a little like recovery.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. character study that nails the tension of an escalating romantic atmosphere.

come on, come on, come over (take it off your shoulder) by mortarsmayfall

Reigen's free hand cradles Serizawa's head, curled under his ear just so to turn it for a better angle. He feels his pulse pound under Reigen's fingers, shivers just the slightest bit. If Reigen notices, he doesn't say anything about it.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. when I first read this I saved it as a private bookmark because I was so embarrassed by the sheer intimacy of haircuts with severely unresolved sexual tension. I’m guessing this was written after studio bones gave us reigen cutting serizawa’s hair. crumbs no more; for once we had a feast to enjoy. short & sweet getting together fic

Off-White by reigreitz

Some habits are tells.

seri/rei, oneshot, 1k. snapshots of pre-relationship and established relationship scenes, I’m quite fond of it. on my first reading I’m pretty sure I remember not paying attention to the habit piece at all (even with it being right in the summary) so at the last scene I was hit by the double whammy of ‘oh so that was what serizawa was reacting to’ and ‘AW… THAT’S SWEET…’; I think the fic does a great job of hiding/not acknowledging certain things the perspective character knows and is reacting to, which makes it fun to reread and pinpoint what exactly serizawa’s previously more opaque train of thought was. like, it’s the same stuff, but you get to read into more nuance.

the seven stages of falling in love by reigen arataka by matsunoble

You suppose one of the weirdest times to realize you've fallen deeply and irrevocably in love is when it's fuck o'clock in the morning and you're blearily checking your fridge for leftover curry.

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. I was quite taken by the mundane (and sometimes unappealing) descriptions of love, and I like when serizawa has the upper hand

Mr. Psychic by beefstatic

Looks like trouble in Spice City...

seri/rei, oneshot, 4k. Serizawa Acts Like An Intimidating Bodyguard During Tense/Shady Situations. fun emphasis on that potential aspect of his character, I like how it’s done.

Late by hamlingo

For the first few days after hiring Serizawa, Reigen couldn’t help but be alarmed when the door opened at eight o’clock sharp in the mornings. He got used to it eventually, and in a month’s time he was more surprised when the door didn’t creak open right on time.

This was one of those mornings.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. this is actually among the first seri/rei fics I bookmarked so I can say with relative certainty that on may 20th 2017 I decided that maybe seri/rei was not just a joke of me indulging my own spurious unreasonable whims. fun character study and has that enjoyable tension of pleasant pre-relationship uncertainty.

Quiet Talks by krypkaktus

At some point, Reigen cutting his hair twice a month had turned into a mutual habit.

seri/rei, oneshot, 600 words. another charming snapshot of pre-relationship uncertainty, pleasantly embarrassing unresolved romantic tension.

walk in by ruthwrites

It was then he realized that the reason Reigen and Serizawa were standing so close was because they were kissing.

Mob was not really sure what to do with that information.

(or: mob leaves something at the office, comes back, and walks into something he wasn't supposed to)

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. an extremely popular fic for extremely valid reasons, this is a shining example of the outsider POV shipfic where the perspective character is like. I’m 14 and did not want to see you guys kissing. and the couple is like. we also did not want you to see us kissing, this is excruciatingly awkward.

tomorrow isn't always another day by suitablyskippy

It’s like Reigen’s been waiting for the question. He stops dead on the pavement, grips Mob by the shoulders, and stares down into his eyes with an expression as haunted as though every ghost the pair of them has ever exorcised has taken up residence behind it. “Mob,” he says. “Mob,” he says again. “Tell me, Mob. Look at me and tell me. Tell me truthfully. Do I look cursed to you?”

Mob looks at him, and tells him truthfully. “No.”

“Well, you didn’t look very long,” says Reigen. “Let’s just stand here for a moment, like so, and you can have another look, a nice long look, and really think about it...”

(There's nothing strange about being called back to exorcise the same haunted photocopier six days in a row. It must just be a very haunted photocopier.)

gen, oneshot, 18k. I didn’t mean to rec the same author three (3) times but this is also one of my top faves. extremely funny time prison where nobody is on the same page ever.

space voyage by Anonymous

Tome Kurata is slightly famous—or notorious, more like—for being... a weirdo, to put it simply. She's definitely a person of interest. Just not exactly in a newsworthy way, which is obviously the only way that matters.

mezato/tome, oneshot, 1k. charming pre-relationship contention, they’re the same type of self-absorbed and tunnel vision (affectionate)

I was thinking of not writing up recs for sister’s fics but since one author got three (3) fics on the list I’m gonna also put 3 of my fave fics of sister’s

Reigen's Comprehensive Fool-Proof Guide on How Not To Be Next Door Neighbors With Your Employee (because that'd just be creepy) by MalkyTop

Reigen hires Serizawa and they somehow end up as roommates.

seri/rei, complete, 17k. a fic sister wrote for ✨ME✨ that shows off reigen’s neuroticism and his decidedly not-normal attempts to come across as Extremely Normal, The Most Normal Man Alive. there are so many comedic setups and payoffs. there are so many shenanigans. reigen gets frog-boiled into romance. actually, I drop that term a lot but I’m not sure it’s a common enough to intuitively understand. it refers to the boiling frog metaphor

If At First You Don't Succeed, Find a Loophole by MalkyTop

Reigen keeps dying; Serizawa keeps trying to save him.

seri/rei, complete, 18k. sister was insane for this because she trapped all of her readers AND herself in time prison by releasing one chapter a day. it was really funny to witness because I was the only person not in time prison by virtue of editing privilege. while we were watching mondays: see you next week (an office time loop movie), sister was saying she was impressed at how effective/efficient the movie was at picking which scenes to repeat. this is to say, as someone who notices these details, sister was very intentional about when things changed and how things changed from the perspective of a character completely unaware of time prison. also, the emotional momentum is extremely good, I loved reading serizawa’s increasing desperation from reigen’s context-less perspective.

in absentia* by MalkyTop

After what was supposed to be a routine exorcism, Reigen wakes up in the wrong body.

serirei, complete, 26k. slowburn bodyswap with mystery and intrigue. a solid casefic! I can be biased and right. there are metanarrative elements that I find fun and that, in my opinion, highlights how sister did in fact get a degree in philosophy. there’s also some fun subtle and messy characterization notes, like when serizawa asks reigen not to cook for him. it’s hard to talk about what I like about this fic without giving away a lot of specifics, so go read it.

[fandomiplier]

bi-han and affection

pairing: character study; no pairing

genre: angst; no comfort

warnings: intergenerational trauma, death

hi there! this was just something i wrote in a hurry because i desperately need more bi-han characterization/character studies. also, yall can snatch autistic!bi-han from my cold, dead hands. hope you enjoy!

bi-han is not a conventionally affectionate person.

as far as he recalls, he never was. bi-han doesn't dwell on childhood memories as much as his brothers do - he doesn't see the usefulness of reminiscing, especially on memories he sees as useless. but, as far as he recalls, he's always been distant, even in the beginning of his training.

(bi-han doesn't have any memory from before he began his lin kuei training; his oldest memory is holding a bo and learning how to use it as a weapon by his tutor. he was 7).

he does not enjoy physical contact. he never enjoyed it, even as a kid - being touched without consent is something bi-han despises with a fiery passion. the cryomancy does not aid in that aspect; the warmth of the touch is bothersome and sometimes painful. but it feels uncomfortable in a different way, almost as if his bones ache inside his body once people touch him without consent or warning. it often leads to an angry discussion or someone leaving with a broken nose. kuai liang tends to deal with the situation for him, especially when the perpetrator is an important figure or of interest to the lin kuei. but sometimes his reaction time gets the best of him - and confrontation is inevitable.

at the same time, bi-han is not verbally affectionate. when necessary, bi-han can lecture his students on fighting techniques, on weaponry, on war strategy and philosophy. he has done it before countless times, each time more eloquently than the last - bi-han is an excellent teacher, even though he lacks patience most times. but when it comes to interpersonal relations, bi-han is a complete disaster. surely, he can converse with other clan leaders, can discuss politics and trade deals, can and has secured alliances with other clans ever since he became grandmaster. he looks smooth - but, in private, bi-han falls flat every single time he has to interact with someone. it feels odd and weird and uncomfortable, both for the person and for him. it feels just like being touched, like his bones creak under his muscles once the awkwardness sets in - it feels physically painful.

so he refrains. he refrains from most celebrations or social gatherings, he does not interact with people outside of work or training. he leaves his bedroom in the early morning, works and trains until exhaustion and, once he's satisfied with his productivity, returns to his chambers to bathe, eat and sleep. that is, if he doesn't sleep at his table, in the grandmaster's office - kuai liang finds him unconscious on top of stacks of papers, sleeping over lin kuei documents and mission reports.

(on those nights, either kuai liang or tomas leave him a cup of tea and some food for once he wakes up. bi-han never thanks them for it, but they know he appreciates the care).

even before he became grandmaster, bi-han had the exact same routine: wake up, train, classes, train again, eat, bathe and sleep. his cryomancy interfered severely with his sleep - something about his metabolic rate trying to compensate for the cold, so he feels constantly awake. insomnia has accompanied him for years and the easiest way to sleep is to just exhaust himself enough that he passes out and sleeps until the next morning. it doesn't always work - but it does the trick on most nights. his mother was desperate seeing her son exhaust himself to sleep, but they had no other solution to the issue.

his mother worried about him. she knew bi-han was the most dedicated of all her sons, even though kuai liang and tomas have always been as devoted to the clan as the eldest. but bi-han's obstinate nature worried her. it worried her that bi-han would exhaust himself to the point of death to fulfill his father's demands. the lack of physical contact and verbal communication, even with his own family, terrified her; and realizing how closed off bi-han had and would always be made her worry for his wellbeing even in her last days.

kuai liang and tomas don't talk about it. they know trying to argue with bi-han is futile - and would end badly for both of them. tomas knows bi-han is closed-off because he feels uncomfortable and would rather die than force his brother into an uncomfortable situation. kuai liang still worries and wishes his brother would open up more, even if only with his brothers, but he also knows bi-han is not the type of person to verbalize concerns or issues. his brother is practical and methodical; the type of person to solve the issue before telling anyone about it. so he knows that, if someone were the matter, he would know sooner or later; but his mother's worry rubbed off on him.

bi-han may not be verbally or physically affectionate, but one can clearly tell when he is worried. bi-han cares for very few people in this world and he unconsciously dotes over them a little when worried - which is a lot, considering bi-han does not dote on anyone in normal circumstances. questioning on their welfare and wellbeing is a very clear sign bi-han is worried (at least for his brothers, who are often at the other end of the question). tending for wounds and aiding with training unprompted are also possibilities, while less common. openly admitting worry is the final and rarest event, only reserved for his late mother.

for bi-han, worry and doting are a display of affection. not that he realizes it consciously, since he rarely dwells on the reason why he acts like this with specific people. but ensuring their safety and wellbeing is how he shows people that he cares, even if he can't verbalize it properly. (he doesn't verbalize it at all; bi-han does not do feelings).

bi-han may not be conventionally affectionate - but he worries plenty for the ones he loves. and that is enough, at least for him.

(c) fandomiplier. do not repost.

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Defiant One, Pt. 2

They contact Atlantis. The fact that Sheppard and McKay are suddenly on the same page, suddenly of one mind, is underlined by the fact that they keep using the pronoun "we". Just a moment ago, they both were using the passive voice and "I" and "you", and suddenly it's "we". It's a noticeable, tangible change. And other characters notice it too.

"We figure the Ancient satellite shot the Wraith ship down in the final battle for Atlantis."

"The wealth of scientific and military knowledge we could acquire is invaluable."

"We have to go down and take a look."

"All the more reason we should have a look. We're already here."

I want to highlight the fact that they are both doing this, and they are taking turns doing it. They are speaking with one voice and one mind, here. And not only that, but Weir is treating them the same. As an item. She definitely noticed something going on between them in the previous episode, first in Rodney's lab watching them get just a little too excited, get a little bit too close to each other discussing... theories, and then definitely during the siege, watching McKay, hearing Sheppard. There, she wasn't a barrier between them, she was their go-between.

And they are not just using words to communicate. The whole call to Atlantis, they are talking to the city but they are having a conversation with each other using facial expressions, exchanging looks, nodding at each other, moving their bodies. It's a whole conversation that's happening outside of the words used.

I mentioned in connection with Home (S01E08) that we see several times that Rodney has managed to talk Sheppard into doing something he might not have originally intended or wanted to do. Usually, we only see the result, we see them on some mission on a random planet or station that McKay wanted to check out. Here, we actually see him do it:

He mouths the words "Help me!" to Sheppard. That's all Sheppard needs. He does it... automatically, like he doesn't even think about it, it's just his natural response. Sheppard looks helpless, like he would probably do anything for this man if he thought to ask (and, um, in the second season we see how far Rodney can push that, but let's get to that later).

The "our interest is purely professional" is not only extremely suggestive. He's obviously referring to the planet and the distress call, but he could just as well be saying that about himself and Sheppard in general and he would be lying. But also, he's speaking for the both of them here. He is. speaking. for the both. of them.

They both also look really miffed when Dr. Gaul tries to get in the way of their budding adventure, and the poor guy really did end up paying the ultimate price just for having been in the vicinity of fire and powder, which as they kiss consume.

It should also be pointed out that while McKay is clearly doing the instigating, Sheppard is the one who goes so far as to lie to Elizabeth. That is, he goes above and beyond for McKay. Also, Elizabeth clearly did not believe for one second that their interest was purely professional, whether regarding the planet or their interpersonal relationship. She has clearly given up trying to reign them in.

Once they're on the planet, we see McKay apply a chapstick to his lips and act like a real bitchy queen toward Dr. Gaul (and as he stands with his hands folded across his chest behind the title card, we're not left wondering who the 'Defiant One' of the episode is supposed to be; McKay is the defiant one in that he refuses to go by Sheppard's plan to keep him at arm's length). They start bickering, with very little gusto. Sheppard interjects with: "Alright, knock it off, guys. I've spent the last fifteen hours listening to you two."

First of all, Dr. Abrams might have a whole different characterization of what the past fifteen hours in the jumper had been like:

Second, Sheppard is both jealous of people Rodney gives attention to and uses projection as a psychological self-defense mechanism pretty much constantly.

There's a scene in First Strike (S03E20), where Sheppard seeks McKay out for no other purpose than to spend time with him (he was just out discussing comics with Ronan and Teyla, being completely useless) and he walks in on McKay and Zelenka arguing. He quips with "Why don't you guys just make out and get it over with?" (which just tells us that he a) wanted to make out with Rodney or b) had done so in the past, but we'll circle back to that later and c) he thinks that the best and possibly the only way to get McKay to stop bickering is to make out with him).

He wants to be the one bickering with Rodney. He does not like it when he gives that much attention to someone else, no sir. By what we saw of their interaction earlier, it doesn't seem like McKay had been talking to Dr. Gaul very much if at all on the jumper, having been engaged in learning how to steer it and focusing on trying to trying to find that straight line.

Sheppard manages to do two things, here: he stakes a claim on Rodney and he attempts to reclaim some modicum of distance between them because back in the jumper, he had just completely forgotten why he had started doing that in the first place. Now, in his fatigues and with his hand on his weapon, he remembers again.

He cloaks the jumper and tells the others to remember where they "parked it". It's a very fatherly thing to do. Like they're a family on a vacation. But are we to understand him as a dad with three toddlers he has to watch out for, or..?

The other scientists certainly act like toddlers. They're basically doing the "Are we there yet?" routine, wondering why they had to park so far. They have clearly never been out on a mission before, so Sheppard explains mission protocol to them; that there's a reason that he does things the way he does. By this time, McKay already understand this. Sure, he also whines about having to walk such a long way, but it's more to connect with Sheppard and to show the others that the two of them are on the same team: "Don't worry, Brendan. We weren't all built for fieldwork. Seriously, we're almost there, right?"

Yes, he's kind of tired because he isn't built for fieldwork (and Sheppard knew this perfectly well when he chose him for his team; and we have seen McKay try to learn how to work on the field). But he's also kidding, again trying to get close to Sheppard by pointing out that he has a special connection to the Major where Sheppard tries to keep a distance (emotionally, but he's also walking real close to Sheppard).

They happen across the planet's indigenous life, the shiny space bugs (and tell me Rodney's first instinct here isn't to grab Sheppard's arm), and have the following exchange:

McKay: Oh, what's that? Gaul: Is it a bug? Sheppard: A space bug. Abrams: It's giving off a pretty strong life-signs reading. McKay: OK, did I mention how allergic I was to bee stings? Sheppard: Maybe he smells the food. Gaul: Maybe he's just smelling the girlish fear.

Dude. Dude.

What Dr. Gaul says is not just offensive but a really stupid thing to say on an alien planet in a whole other galaxy. You have no idea what that thing is or what it's capable of. Dr. Gaul clearly never left the lab before. Not only is Rodney McKay braver than he could ever fathom, this man was just afraid of knowing the jumper was moving. Of motion.

Note also that where previously we have seen Sheppard exhibiting many classic signs of attraction, here we get one from McKay: wanting to share personal things, personal information. Over the seasons, we learn mostly through Sheppard bringing these factoids up that he has done this quite a lot. In Spoils of War (S04E12), we witness how Sheppard has both received and retained a lot of this kind of personal information about McKay (remembering details pertaining to someone? Also a sign of attraction), how he feels comfortable sharing what amount to rather embarrassing stories with the Major:

McKay: Don't worry, I've got an excellent sense of direction. Sheppard: Didn't you say you got lost in a garden maze once? McKay: I was ten. Plus, I was running from a bee.

This is really rather important, because this is juxtaposed to what takes place between McKay and Keller in Brain Storm (S05E16), when we are to understand that their relationship is starting to bud. McKay tells Keller: "When I was ten I ate a bowlful of strawberries and threw up. Haven't been able to stomach them since." We are explicitly shown that this is something he does when he is intending to bond with someone romantically. We've seen McKay overshare things about his childhood, as with Sam Carter in SG-1, with him literally telling us that he's doing it to bond with her. Only, he does this with Sheppard a lot. And unlike other characters, Sheppard not only remembers these things later but also returns to them, brings them up again and again to reinforce the bond between them.

It's really quite beautiful how here, Sheppard not only doesn't react to Dr. Gaul's words at all (which probably had the intended purpose of masculine bonding with the Major by picking on Rodney), but he actually soothes McKay's concern. Twice. First, he suggests that the bugs aren't out to get them but just smell the food, and then he uses a really gentle voice, smiles at Rodney and (seemingly punning) says "Well, let's leave it be(e) and it'll leave us be."

Not only is he not ridiculing McKay, he's showing that he's genuinely there for him, both against the space bugs and ignorant lab-rats who clearly don't realize what a hero Rodney really is for him (or what fear is. He knows what fear is).

(Also, returning to Hide and Seek, S01E03, where Sheppard himself calls fear unmanly; we later learn that that's his father talking; the part of his father he has internalized and that Rodney has actually unwittingly helped him combat from the start by showing him that fear and bravery aren't mutually exclusive).

Sheppard and McKay are a team. We see it later in the episode, but already here: they make each other stronger, and help each other overcome their weaknesses.

And Sheppard was never going to join in on mocking McKay.

In the jumper, it was he that actually sought out Rodney to mock Dr. Gaul and his unsuitability for fieldwork, reinforcing the bond between them. And I have to emphasize again how gentle he sounds here. He cares about Rodney and has no reason to pretend otherwise here because he neither cares nor values the opinion of these people. If anything, being able to stand strong for Rodney (for a change!) just makes him feel a sense of pride, being able to be useful to him brings him closer to Rodney.

Continued in Pt. 3

[krugkorien]

Happy New Year everyone! Today I want to show you my main setting: the Divine World. It’s a dark fantasy world that combines both epic (gods, monsters, magic, saving the world) and mundane (death, decay, bigotry, oppression) aspects of the genre. Worldbuilding and lore is a very important part of DW, to a point where if I could write everything I want about DW it would be one of the biggest books in the history of mankind. But this is an introductory post, so I’ll try to keep it brief!

1. While I’m not going to get into any unpleasant details here let’s still get some trigger warnings out of the way first. As I said DW is dark fantasy, and it’s so dark that Marena came up with the name Macabre Fantasy in order to emphasize how dark DW is and how the aforementioned themes of death and decay play a huge role in it, as well as many other sensitive topics. Aside from what has been already mentioned there's also a lot of cruelty & violence (both interpersonal & socio-political) and also topical problems: sexism, nazism, colonialism, etc. All of this, of course, is not for the sake of being edgy, but to make a lot of important points.

2. The inhabitants of the Divine World are appropriately called Divine Humans [1], aka Homo Mirandum. While they look a lot like regular humans, there are a lot of differences between us and them! They have horns, claws, different hair textures and skin tones, three spinal cords instead of one and are also bigger than us: it depends on a lot of factors and the shortest men are actually not that big, being only 166 cm tall, but the tallest women can go up to 350 cm! And yes, you’ve read it correctly, women are taller! Divine sexual dimorphism is somewhat flipped compared to ours and Divine women are tall, muscular and hairy, while men are short, thin and mostly hairless. Meanwhile their voices are pretty similar and androgynous, and also have a metal (as in material not music) vibe to them.

Physically Divine humans are, for the lack of better word, monumental: they are strong, capable of surviving wounds that would kill a regular human ten times over, have a great memory, but are also stiff and slow, both physically & mentally, for physiological reasons as well simply because they can afford to be — their lifespans can be measured in multiple Earth centuries. However Divine humans rarely enjoy their longevity to its full extent. Outside dangers aside, their illnesses and disabilities are just as monumental as they are. For example, Divine albinism means fully transparent flesh which in turn means complete blindness and high vulnerability towards radiation (levels of which are very high on Mirabilis).

Divine souls are just as physical as anything else. They are also Aetheric in nature, and are another example of Divine sexual dimorphism: white souls belong to men and black to women (with rare exceptions). This plays a huge role in Divine society and became one of the reasons why most Divine societies are patriarchal: men, despite being physically weak, can literally mind-control women when needed. It doesn’t help that too much contact with an aether opposite to your soul can lead to death.

While Divine humans are technically the only race of Mirabilis, thanks to magic they can turn into many various creatures: Demons, Angels, Chorts (lesser Demons, roughly speaking), Bieses (lesser Chorts), Beatas, Vampires, Turnskins (Divine equivalent of werewolves), Beasts, Chimeras, Nocturnals, Urials, Cadavredaxes and so on, many of them having sub-types (for example vampires being living and undead).

4. Technology & society-wise Divine civilization can be compared to 19th century Earth: imperialism and nationalism are at their peak, proto-industrial society, recently invented trains & electricity. However Divine civilization also possesses traits more associated with our Middle Ages: religion being the most important social institute, no concept of humanism, plate armor & melee weapons still being main tools of war.

5. Like Divine humans themselves Mirabilis looks somewhat Earth-ish but is actually very different. For starters, when I say that DW is a dark and oppressive world I mean it a bit literally! Mirabilis has high atmospheric pressure (~8 higher than Earth), it’s a much colder and wetter planet, and most noticeably — it has no sun. Despite this, Mirabilis still has light and heat, even if not as much as we do, all that thanks to the White Aether (a very important magic substance) that fills the space around the planet. A Sun’s fire isn’t the only kind Mirabilis lacks — due to the low oxygen level of 15% fire simply cannot exist in normal conditions on Mirabilis.

If the word “normal” can even be used towards Mirabilis — all of the planet’s flora are technically mushrooms and much closer to the meat-side of things, so stuff like bleeding human-eating trees isn’t exactly shocking to Divine humans. Animals are technically the same as on Earth but with a huge caveat — their appearance is based on the medieval depictions of them which means animals like hyperagressive fishes with limbs, talking horses with human teeth, owls with human faces, giant non-arthropodic insects and so on.

While Mirabilis is bigger than Earth, it has only one continent that is sliced in half by the so-called Black Wall —an  impassable wall of Black Aether. The stories I write take place on the western half of the continent, and its inhabitants can’t just cross the ocean to explore the East because of the atrament — a deadly substance that fills the sea and is so dangerous only two western races out of twelve have any level of resistance to it.

The explorers of Mirabilis would be very upset about this if not for the Remnants, mysterious ruins that are both more ancient than anything they have ever seen yet more advanced than anything they could dream of. Exploring Remnants is an incredibly dangerous, often illegal job, but what’s that compared to a chance to learn more about the world? More materialistic folks are attracted by the artifacts that are capable of granting incredible miracles and, of course, even more incredible horrors.

And I think that’s pretty much it for the introductory post! From now on I’m going to repost the stuff I’ve previously posted on my Twitter before but now with all kinds of lore tidbits. There’s other projects we’ll talk about, especially Neon-23, Marena’s cyberpunk setting (that has a crossover with DW we made for fun!) but that’s it for now. Thank you for reading all this! And thanks to @goldporces & ippoteq @ Twitter for beta-reading this text!

[1] — In Russian I call them Дивнолюди, based on an archaic Russian word for “miracle” — диво. “Divine” is a very lucky translation because it sounds similar to the original word and also points at the, well, divine nature of the Divine Humans.

[bluejay-writes]

MysticTober Day 13: Decipher This

Rating: T Prompt: Vanderwood/MC || Secret WordCount: 1263 Summary: The new member of the RFA seems familiar somehow. Author's Notes: This fic is either a massive troll or a Chapter 1, so... let me know if you want to see more of this one.

Of all the jobs that Vanderwood had done for the Agency over the years, they had to admit they were happiest being Zero Seven’s handler.  It wasn’t the most glamorous job, wasn’t necessarily using their best skills most of the time, but it also kept them decently out of danger, and afforded them the luxury of breaking rules they thought were garbage.

They hadn’t really thought too hard about the Agency’s rules about interpersonal relationships.  On the surface it made perfect sense that attachments were forbidden, given that if a job went bad you might have to completely erase yourself and start new somewhere else entirely leaving them behind. But it could also mean that they were used against you.  Of course, Vanderwood knew that the people most likely to use a partner against them were the Agency themselves, but it still stood as a good enough reason, until they started being Zero Seven’s handler.

Zero Seven was an enigma.  They’d started being his handler a little over eight years ago, when he was just a bright kid who would do just about anything the agency asked him to do.  Study abroad? Great!  Track down this person with the explicit explanation that it was for them to be take out? Done.  Over time, in private he had mellowed the way most of the agency techs had.  He did his work on his own schedule, and very rarely did he need to be reminded to get things done before the deadline. Usually he only got behind if it had something to do with that charity group he was for some unknown reason allowed to stay a part of even after joining the agency. Around them, he was still the jokester kid that he’d been when just twelve.  Vanderwood wished the melancholy hacker was the fake version of Zero Seven… but they knew better.

Vanderwood knew that if someone were disappeared for any reason, Zero Seven could find them, alive if possible, but he’d find proof of death if not. And so, the rules from the agency about attachments were revealed to be what they truly were - yet another way to keep a choke-hold on their agents. As long as the ties were sanctioned by the Agency (like that charity group) or kept secret from them, they were safe.

Most of the time, the only potential tie Vanderwood cared about was their charge.  They thought about Zero Seven like the younger brother they’d always wanted.  They knew no family before the agency, but… they liked to think they had a tiny one, now.  Zero Seven seemed to care about the charity group, and occasionally he’d wonder aloud (usually when he thought Vanderwood couldn’t hear him) about how ‘Saeran’ was doing.  So of course Vanderwood noticed when he received the improbable floppy disc of photos of a less-trained version of himself - clearly a twin brother - that Vanderwood understood.  Zero Seven had sacrificed his relationship with his twin in order to keep said twin safe and happy.  They’d taken a private look at the disc, and no matter how they looked at it, all of those photos were taken on the same day.  The boy was wearing contact lenses and his hair had recently been dyed. If it wasn’t for the fact that Zero Seven needed glasses, they might not have thought to look for the contacts - but they were colored. The boy in the photo had green eyes, and there were telltale marks from hair dye along his hairline and the tips of his ears.  How had Zero Seven missed this? Wishful thinking?

Something had happened to his twin, and Vanderwood was determined to find out what it was, even if they had to enlist help to do it.  Clearly the agency was complicit - the disk of photos had come from one of the charity group. They would have to look outside the agency for help.  They’d crossed paths with people from other agencies as well as independents, a number of whom could probably find out the information that they wanted to know. The best choice was the agent hiding in plain sight as an investigative journalist; Cypher Jones. If anyone could figure this out, it would be her.

Seven knew that Vanderwood was hiding something. Every agent had secrets, but lately they would come back agitated about something and an agitated Vanderwood never did bode well for his ability to slack off. Really any emotion out of Vanderwood was a bad sign.  So at least his work was getting done in a timely manner, since he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Vanderwood’s ire.

On the bright side, they hadn’t gotten on his case about being in the RFA chat so much, so he’d been able to spend more time with his friends.  He really did think of them as friends, even though he wasn’t supposed to get attached to people as per the agency rules.  But if Vanderwood wasn’t complaining even after all these years, well, he was going to run with it.

But that led him to today, when he was out of work to get done and everyone was in chat, which was awesome, but Vanderwood came in tense.

“What is it, Vandy?”

“Don’t call me that. It’s just that I lost contact with someone.”

“I can—“

“No.”

“But if it’s someone important—”

“You can’t.”

“Ugh, fine.”

It wasn’t another agent. There was no way, or they would have used everything at their disposal agency-wise to keep track of them.  Which meant. Vanderwood was hiding a friend.  Seven wanted to tease them to death, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.  Having confirmation that Vanderwood was hiding an illicit relationship (be it romantic or platonic, it didn’t matter to Seven) was everything. But the fact that they’d lost contact took it off the table as a teasing subject. He’d just have to try to get Vanderwood to talk to him about it later.  For the time being they’d settled on the couch in his office, and were tapping away at their phone.  Seven went back to the RFA chat, only to realize there was someone new in it.  Someone unauthorized.

“Holy shit.” He said, pulling up the app code and tapping away to dig into the user database and figure out where they came from.

“What, Zero Seven?” Vanderwood asked from the couch, and Seven knew they were probably expecting his usual silliness.

“There’s someone new in the RFA Chat.”

“Huh.” Vanderwood said. “New recruit?”

“Well that’s just the thing. No. I think they hacked in.”

His fingers were flying over the keys, and he even told the chat that his fingers were trembling as he hacked.  Not true, but they were going fast enough that no one could tell if he was lying, excepting maybe Vanderwood, who saw everything.

Vanderwood had perked up behind him, watching his screens, which was eerie, but he was pretty used to it. 

“Huh, she’s in Rika’s old apartment.” Seven said, even as Vanderwood stood and came over to… well, he’d normally have said inspect his work, but it seemed like Vanderwood was just standing there for moral support. Weird, but not unwanted.

Seven clicked a few times and brought the camera feeds from Rika’s apartment up onto one of his side monitors. There, standing looking down at her cell phone with her long brown hair half-obscuring her confused expression, was a girl.

“What?!” Behind him, Vanderwood seemed to choke on nothing and their phone clattered to the floor. 

“What is Cypher doing there?”

[window-window]

V. HIEROPHANT

“THIS IS A CALL TO CHALLENGE ESTABLISHED NORMS AND SEEK PERSONAL TRUTHS RATHER THAN ADHERING TO SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS.”

UPRIGHT: tradition, social groups, conventionality, conformity, education, knowledge, beliefs.

REVERSED: rebellion, unconventionality, non-conformity, new methods, ignorance.

–––

BASHITA PAL.

Last seen on February 8th. Unrelated to Erika Mercado-Moreno and Vivian Hill outside of this incident -- as far as anyone is aware, her presence at the store that night was coincidental.

PUBLIC BIOGRAPHY

Bashita grew up in New Jersey, only having left for a year or two to Pennsylvania while she was still a child before coming back. She has long since been out of contact with her parents, and lived with her oldest sister, Radhana, up until she turned 18 and moved out to live on her own. Between them and three other sisters, Shyama, Ranjini, and Sarada, Bashita is the youngest. Not counting them, Bashita has no interest in speaking with her family.

Currently, she still lives by herself. No pets, no people, no nothing -- isolated in her apartment and she prefers it that way. It's quiet. It's nice.

Bashita works full time as a freelance digital artist, making money between commissions and any errands she might pick up in the meantime. She keeps herself afloat, but barely. A starving artist, she hasn't been in the field long enough to develop a stable career, and is currently scraping by from paycheck to paycheck. She doesn't last in most jobs she takes on for long -- social interaction for too long at a time is draining and upsetting for her, and she has a hard time keeping it up long term.

Previous job history mostly entails cashier positions, or any other entry level things she could find that didn't secretly also require several years of experience. Most times, Bashita was fired for interpersonal conflict with coworkers and customers alike -- whether Bashita was in the right or not was never taken into account. She is not a cordial person and that is enough not to be ... easily employable.

She was not a great student. In fact, was not even a good student, if you refuse to take into account the outside factors that caused her to struggle. Which ... she won't elaborate on anyway. She doesn't care what you think. Or anyone. Augh. She was held back a grade two separate times, once in elementary school because of her at the time undiagnosed narcolepsy, which she had no accommodations for. Then again. Later. For other reasons.

Bashita is the type to keep to herself. She doesn't feel the need to connect with other people; they irk her more often than not.

She can be found lingering in certain areas, most often alone. Walking through the same streets, occasionally stopping in at the same stores, the convenience store down the block that has the really good slushies that she likes. The red ones are her favorite. Bashita was halfway through one, last anyone heard from her.

She disappeared on her birthday. It was around 10:00 PM.

More upfront than maybe anyone here; will tell it like it is, and in most cases nowadays finds lying more inconvenient than honesty. Cynical, hopeless.

FUN FACTS

– Her favorite drinks are cold! Anything cold. Doesn't matter what season it is. In fact, she's actually intolerant to extreme warmth.

– Enjoys spicy food! Give her any amount of spice in something, she can stomach it.

– Avoids exerting herself too hard, and as such is not physically active, like, at all. It's fine. Who care.

– Specializes in horror fiction professionally; body horror in her art and cosmic horror in her writing. Bashita takes commissions for both.

– Bashita knows how to play the bassoon.

– Hasn't decided on a middle name. Didn't pick her first name, either. Her older sister did, Radhana.

[aita-irl]

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[ageofpiracyrp]

PLOT DROP 37: THE BAT RAY

"I'm disbanding The Bat Ray as a pirate crew. We've had a good run, but I don't have enough money to keep this thing going for longer. Besides not even having The Bat Ray as a ship anymore, most of my crew are too tired. Prison was rough, and I run a tight ship. And besides..."

Julia looked over at Kenna and nodded. "I have higher priorities right now than being a ship's captain. Kenna's been making her rounds, so a lot of you already know, but we're going legit. We're starting up a gym. KJ gym." Julia gestured at Kenna. "For Kenna and me. We're co-owners. But if you see us out there, we'll be sformed. I'll be Jessie and she'll be Kelly, but it's still just us. Seetha's agreed to make sure our business doesn't fall to pieces. We're gonna be teaching self-defense to people who need it. Like kids. And people who think they're not as good as they could be at protecting themselves. But it's a business so we're charging money. I'm still passionate about it, though."

The (now former) captain cleared her throat. "But just because we're not a ship's crew anymore doesn't mean that you're not important to me. It's been my highest honor to serve as your captain. If you're ever here in Rungung again..." She wasn't going to cry. She wasn't going to frigging cry. "I hope that you'll stop by and spar with me."

---

Julia decided that it was time to focus on what really mattered: her children. Kenna persuaded her to stay in one place. The kids loved going to school and making friends. Even their son Jack was starting to be less of a little jerk.

Besides, ships were expensive, and it was going to be a lot of effort to get enough money and morale to raise up a ship again. Much of the crew were burnt out and looking for something less risky. The Prosperity was overall a less intense work environment, so it was not too difficult to persuade some of the former crew members of The Bat Ray to join them for contract positions (with options for extension).

The new electro-technical (to replace Laurie) and lead mechanic (to replace Marshall, who decided to follow Samira and work on the KBW) picks were pretty good. Nothing too bad to say about them.

Mark was a helpful find as well, as he was a good shot and got along well with the rest of the crew well enough. However, he was an Espionage, and also Gwen's ex-husband, which was complicated.

The new gunner, Leo, was competent, but had some interpersonal issues with some of the Prosperity crew members. Leo also happened to be very annoying.

Aya was a decent pilot with education credentials and flight time under her belt. She also had an unusually good understanding of the ship's mechanics and fuel economy for an operator. However, her weak point was apparently shaking another ship that had already started tailing the ship. Aya blamed herself for the ship being captured by the Galactic Police.

The doctor, Antigone, was a perfectly good doctor... but not a surgeon. Daphne isn't sure why Julia hired someone who wasn't great at surgery, but any doctor was better than no doctor at this point.

Not everyone wanted to or could join Prosperity or KJ Gym's staff, so most of the rest of the crew chose to go through either Gwen Volnal or Makhaira Espionage to assist with placement in a new crew or job. Some like Ekka (who went to be physically closer to Blue Sreleku) chose to leave work on pirate crews altogether.

---

Due to The Bat Ray's former crew members technically still being fugitives, the ones on the ship took some steps to disguise their appearances and identities a little better. Some were better than others:

Leo took on a new sformer-ed appearance altogether, and outside of the ship, has decided to use the name "Colt". (NOTE: Leo's former faceclaim Omar Rudberg is being retired, and his new faceclaim is Jordan Fisher)

Mark dyed his hair. He meant to dye it blond, but did it himself, and it went a little green... He has also started wearing violet contacts and going by "James" (like James Bond) outside of the ship.

Aya also dyes her hair to help her disguise, but it looks better than Mark's dye job. She went to a salon to do the initial bleach session and has dyed her own hair before, so the results are much less green. She has also started wearing silvery-gold contacts in public (she used to wear a different color when pretending to be an Erkuss when the time called for it). Aya has also started wearing glasses (non-prescription even though her erkuss-color contacts are prescription) and goggles outside of the hsip too. She has insisted on being called "Sonic" outside of the ship. Yes, like the hedgehog. Gotta go fast.

Antigone's sformer is a new appearance for her, and she has asked to go by "Auntie" (pronounced Ant-ee) in public.

---

The now fully-staffed Prosperity prepared to take on some new lucrative jobs. Clause Mazrinon had some particularly interesting leads for a few quick jobs that could be prepared for on Earth. Before traveling to Earth, the newly staffed crew would take time to gather supplies, bond as a group, and prepare for the next adventure.

---

New NPC biography:

Antigone

Updated NPC biographies:

Seetha, Leo, Mark, Ekka

Kenna

Julia

Aya

[hemerasiae]

there were a lot of reasons why several of the other talons, as well as many crows, saw teia’s rise to talon as undeserved or even illegitimate. since the faction’s inception, leadership has been passed down largely by nepotism and/or favoritism of the wealthy.

teia was unattached by way of birth family and came from squalor. she was (and still is, despite the wealth amassed from her exploits) a direct threat to the system in place.

this is in spite of the fact that, since being taken in by the crows at age 8, she has worked harder than almost any other crow. there is no other way she would have become the youngest talon in history without working harder, performing better, and sharpening her cunning.

many of her colleagues dismiss her methods, suggesting that her looks play the most impactful role in her success. the truth is, she is wickedly intelligent.

no one can read people better than she can. she will have a baseline, tells, and microexpressions down within a minute or less of meeting someone.

her memory is one of the strongest in the faction. something may be minor to someone, but teia has filed that away for use years down the line.

she’s innovative and clever. she thinks outside of the box and isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty in ways many crows won’t. just because she is a talon, doesn’t mean she stops taking certain jobs. she refuses to be out of practice in any regard.

teia’s interpersonal skills are unmatched. she’s likable and actually enjoys people. where many assassins are antisocial, she thrives in the company of others and has built an intricate web of connections and contacts because of this. she’s essentially the crows’ pr department and social media manager.

she is a master manipulator. she is a hard read, even for those closest to her, and very few can parse when she is being genuine versus when she is playing one of her games.

she actually cares about everyone in her house and most of the crows in general. to her, the crows are family. it matters that she is in good standing with as many of them as she can be. after all, those who trust or like her are easier to bend to her whims.

all of this is to say, she has earned her place tenfold and is one of the most prominent leaders, despite being from the seventh house, for a reason. her power isn’t an illusion; it’s tangible, and over the years, many who were against her have come to realize their misjudgment.

[kiindr]

studying counselling has to be one of the best things i have done in my undergrad academic life so far.

we were learning about counselling skills in class and one of the things we covered was about how nonverbal gestures matter in a therapeutic setting.

doing a few simple things like nodding your head, humming affirmatively, leaning forward, maintaining appropriate eye contact (not too much or too little!), and keeping an open body language can go a long way in helping a person feel seen and understood.

we can even take these skills outside the counselling room and apply them to our interpersonal connections. i’m sure we’ll see them getting improved, and our loved ones feeling closer to us because we do something as simple as ‘paying attention’ :)

[sorcerous-caress]

Oh, to talk about Gith culture and socialization, I shall gladly run my mouth.

Okay theory time.

Since Githyanki are militaristic and the majority of their current culture is just catered towards a lich queen's need for strong souls. They probably don't touch that much, and it makes so much sense.

Vlaakith most likely views interpersonal relationships as road blocks for her conveyor belt of souls, things that weaken her feast and taint possible strong individuals with weakness. So, touch outside of combat is discouraged if not outright banned.

However, there are some roles in githyanki culture that have permission due to the nature of the station; Varshs and Ghustils

Varshs have to have contact to ensure that all hatchlings are healthy and intact. I'm sure being born in an egg causes gith to emerge slightly more advanced than a human newborn, but a baby is still a baby.

Varshs are the first set of gentle hands a gith will feel in life, and the last, right before a gith enters their basic training.

Gith may not know what Mommy/Daddy issues are, but they definitely know what Varsh issues are.

Ghustil are slightly different, but the same sentiment still stands. They are set of hands roaming your body to assess damage, rub salves into your bruises, and most likely the only time a gith gets one on one time alone with someone.

So, of course their gonna memorize every detail down to a t.

Savor every firm hand that holds you down as they set your bones in place, squirm at every praise for staying still for an examination, and view every steady sitch as a kiss.

Medical kink is probably everywhere in gith culture, much to some Ghustils dismay.

So every time Lae'zel calls a Tav/Durge Ghustil or Khal'ian calls Jaheira Varsh, it means very different things to them besides roles/titles.

They also have a truce not to tell others those meanings

I love this

Especially varsh issues instead of mommy/daddy issues. Because sure, funny meme haha, but also, it removes the need misogyny subtext of it! It's just one parent now who is called "caretaker," making them both equal and the same instead of enforcing gender roles on them.

Like all varsh hug and protect their young regardless of gender, all varsh are given the same creditablity and respect. Githyanki are really miles ahead of humanity in these things, how refreshingly inclusive and non narrow minded they can be when it comes to this.

There are no gender roles, and there are no divide or job biases. Everyone can be a capable soldier, everyone can be a medic, and everyone can be a varsh.

Lae'zel and Khal'ian must feel confused when people in faerun treat them differently based on their gender or assume different things on them.

Or how when Lae'zel brings up ghustil around non-gith, they assume it's a man. Khal'ian bringing up his varsh and people immediately assuming it's a woman, even when the gith creche we encounter had a male varsh.

They'd also be confused by the gender separation in clothed, all gith wore the same armour, all gith had the same clothes. Why are these ones okay for one gender but not the other? How can you even gender clothes.

I think this came to be in their culture because mindflayers don't have genders, and githyanki got so used to dealing with them that they completely abolished all gender roles they might have ever had.

-

But anyway yeah back to the kink part.

The only other time where they get touched besides at the medic bay and caretaker is during training.

They'd probably have a teacher kink too ngl- they way they feel their teaches eyes on them, sizing them up, manhandling them into the correct position, whispering orders in their ears.

Slipping up during training and having their teacher bark at them to go to the medical bay. Knowing another set of hands will be touching them on the examination bed.

Soft curious touches that suddenly turn rough to feel up any bruises, the cold feeling of rubber gloves sending goosebumps on their skin, the disinterested look of the ghustil as they tell them to strip to their underwear and stay still while reading a healing salve they'll be rubbing into them.

By the time they're done and they get left neglected on the table afterwards, a varsh enters the room with a baby in their arms. Telling the ghustil about suspecting a fever as they gently cradle them.

It's not their old varsh, this one is only a decade or so older than them but fuck seeing someone preforming the same role makes them feel an unexplainable feeling.

The varsh's eyes meet them, and a wave of nostalgia and comfort suddenly hits them. They want to be hugged and held, comforted, and cared for like before, but they know they can't be weak.

But then the stranger varsh steps in front of their laying form, putting a hand on their forehead and checking on them. Murmuring about how they're burning up, maybe a fever is going around the creche.

And it's the most tender touch they have ever felt before it too is gone.