#and haven't done anything in this style for like 6 months at this point

[a2zillustration-archive]

I am a simple man who likes to draw little portraits of my little guys

[herejusttosufferalong]

Pancake anon here with my thoughts on recent events:

My thoughts really haven't changed. I've said from the first post I made that there is going to be back and forth during this process. L is codependent and with A & L both having anxious attachment styles (confirmed by attachment anon) it isn't abnormal for them to easily fall back into things after an attempted break.

I don't think the shift we've been sensing over the past few weeks is wrong. I do still think things have been rocky and a possible attempted break was made. The key points that keep me here are: A not attending the wedding or at the pub the night of the big match, A posting an old photo from GQ the night of the wedding trying to insinuate she was there, the lack of A outing any locations or hints of L being around for weeks, L's unliking spree on insta, A's deactivation of her insta, continued shady happenings with DM, the legs in lap photo, and A's seemingly entry level new job when it seem's she was trying to go the influencer route.

I thought maybe the friends & A had finally stopped leaking L's location when with him, but now I think he hasn't been around much in the past few weeks because their posts during this trip are back to their normal.

Which brings us to current events. L is on a trip with his childhood best friend for his 30th birthday along with their respective girls. We've seen a couple very short clips of them. Everyone wants to overanalyze the way they are interacting. But here's the thing: A wouldn't still be around if L didn't enjoy her company. That has never been in question. He obviously does, which is why I think ending things will take some back and forth, which I think has already been in progress.

While I'm still very suspicious that A has her hands in things that are happening with DM and the pap walk, I don't think L has quite pieced it all together yet. I could also see him having very mixed feelings about the pap walk. On one hand, I don't think he was expecting it or was happy it was happening. But I could see him having some resentment towards the public's reaction to it. I could see him feeling like "I'm allowed to have a personal life and a girlfriend. I haven't done anything wrong." And he really hasn't.

Basically, what I've said before. L is dealing with a very complex situation right now. He's obviously in love with his bestie and costar. They had a whirlwind amazing 6 months together. They did some questionable things publicly (and who knows what privately) and everyone is analyzing his every move. He's also in a relationship with a girl that has now become very public. People are bullying her online which likely makes him feel protective. She is intertwined with his childhood best friend's girlfriend. He enjoys her company and she can give him a lot of attention during this confusing time. There is likely guilt toward her around the way he acted while on PR tour. And who knows what he's dealing with regarding N. Did she reject him or has she completely distanced herself? His behavior reads as someone who has had their heart broken and was trying to avoid processing it, then maybe did start processing it, and is now back to avoidance for a bit. It's a lot of things happening very quickly.

We are less than 2 months out from the London premiere and end of PR tour. I know that feels like ages ago, but it really isn't a ton of time to process such a complicated situation. His time with A serves a purpose, likely offering some comfort right now, but she isn't end game.

There will be more. But I still believe we are on course and things are moving in the right direction.

🥃

[alonetimelover]

pairing: Harry Styles x tennis player!reader

summary: sometimes it is not meant to work out, no matter how much you and everyone else want it to. or is it?

a/n: so before wimbledon ended (before Iga lost her quarterfinal), I made this. its like fiction within fiction, ya know?

masterlist (with more tennis player!reader)

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twitter

i love harry and yn | babiesharry

guys... just a quick thought. we haven't seen any pics of yn and harry together for a whole month. there are no interactions online, and there are no acknowledgements during concerts or after matches.

do we think its the, you know, end?

3k likes 1,04k comments 3,4k replies

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lot tour 23 | aliceeeee

it is a little bit confusing. in the latest interview yn, when asked about listening to music before a match, she answered only with Taylor (before she also was saying Harry)

so that's it...

2k likes 1,44k comments 2,4k replies

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saw harry in vienna | lovingharry

harry is also not as bubbly as he made us used to see him, last night he wasn't even doing all the stomps during satellite, no funny dances or backbends...

1k likes 1k comments 3k replies

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yn is the best | lovingtennisyn

let's not speculate about them and just support our idols. yn has a very difficult tournament before herself and harry is almost done with touring. best we can do is applaud them for their work, their private lives shouldn't be our concern

4k likes 1,5k comments 5k replies

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harry my love | byebyenyc

i fear the worst... yn is in london and none interaction with Harry, his family, or friends? it is not an accident

2k likes 1,7k comments 0,9k replies

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Instagram

harryupdates

liked by ynupdates, hArrysbtch and 15 302 others

harryupdates HARRY AFTER CATCHNING A FANMADE BRACELET ON STAGE TONIGHT!

view all 2 402 comments

lanastyles IT WAS MINE!!!!!

⤷ hArrysbtch omg! what were the charms??

⤷ lanastyles i did harrys and yn's names with flowers and hearts! but i don't think he really liked it

⤷ harrysmoustache oh no, why do you think so?

⤷ lanastyles after he read what was on them, he showed it into his trousers' pocket

⤷ ynsmybestie no no no no no, the rumours are getting more true with each day

harrysfan84 i love him, man

harryswift he knows that speak now tv is coming, he dressed for the occasion!

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harrylot

liked by harryupdates, ynsmybestie and 18 301 others

harrylot "I don't think that anyone is perfect. you meet a lot of people during your lifetime, never knowing which one is gonna turn up being your person. huh? im sorry I cannot hear you. give it up for Lorine!" HARRY INTERACTING WITH A FAN TONIGHT

view all 6 301 comments

harryshoee i saw multiple videos from this interaction and the fan was soooo loud. he just didn't want to answer the question

⤷ ynshands what did they ask him?

⤷ harryshoee i believe it was "have you met your person?" and people around the fan screaming yn's name

harryupdates guys, don't assume anything based on one interaction

ynsmybestie that is concerning, but maybe he just doesn't want to be so public about it?

⤷ ynandhmyparents they were literally making out in the park in London and kissing on TV after yn won French Open. they didn't care, why would they now?

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yntennisfan

liked by ynupdates, harryshoee and 23 301 others

yntennisfan GUYS, I AM STRESSED OUT

view all 5 301 comments

yntennisfan UPDATE: SHE DEFENDED THOSE MATCH POINTS!!! WE HAVE TIE-BREAK!!!

yntennisfan UPDATE: GUYS, SHES SERVING FOR A MATCH

yntennisfan SHE FUCKING WON THIS MATCH !!!!!

ynupdates i had five heart attacks during this match

harryupdates she's so good at coming back to her good game!

ynshands AMAZING! I couldn't watch and just listened to the commentary on the radio. they were going crazy!

ynsmybestie she's unbelievable! sooo good

hArrysbtch i love tennis

harrysmoustache she's playing so differently to what she made us used to see

⤷ ynsmybestie i fear its because of that possible breakup

⤷ harrysfan83 harry didn't upload anything about the match like he used to, and he knows how grass is yn's the least favourite surface to play on

⤷ ynupdates can you guys just be happy about her win and stop bringing her relationship back up? thank you.

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enews

liked by tennisfan82 and 2 301 492 others

enews No. 1s in the tennis World - YN YSN and Carlos Alcaraz were spotted enjoying each other companies after YN's winning match in Wimbledon. YN has dated Harry Styles for almost three years before they broke up just a month ago. Moving on so quickly? More pictures in our link in bio.

view all 24 201 comments

ynupdates they are friends! can't they have a meal together?

ynsmybestie how i love you people ruining friendships... pathetic

ynshands celebrating her win can't only mean dating, you know?

harrysmoustache sooo, they really broke up? 💔

⤷ hArrysbtch nothing is confirmed, let's just wait

⤷ hArrysbtch yes, I am delusional

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ynupdates

liked by ynsmybestie, harrysmoustache and 34 402 others

ynupdates YN VIA HER IG STORY...

view all 7 402 comments

ynsmybestie nonononononono not them, please god no

ynshands jesus, even my breakup didn't hurt me as much as this one

hArrysbtch im a child of this divorce

harryupdates let's give them space to be

harryshoee no, my parents. please let it not be true. please.

ynswiftie guys, maybe she's just celebrating a Spek Now TV release?

⤷ ynsmybestie couldn't she do it with enchanted???

ynandcarlos well, Carlos has a tan skin too

⤷ ynshands oh shut up, respectfully

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, ynupdates and 65 407 others

harryupdates I MET HARRY IN LONDON JUST NOW. do you think he's attending wembley final today?

view all 8 402 comments

ynupdates you finally met him? congratulations darling!

ynupdates and I think he's attending. why would he come back from spain to london?

hArrysbtch he better attends and stop all those ridiculous rumours (yes, i am delusional)

harrysmoustache he looks so good, he can't be single (yes, i am delusional)

harryshoee yn crocheted that hat, i know it (yes, iam delusional)

⤷ ynupdates well, yn does know how to crochet so it is possible

harrysfan63 i also met him today!!!

⤷ harryupdates did you ask him about Wimbledon?

⤷ harrysfan63 yes! he just said "what's that?" with a smirk

⤷ harrysbtch this fucker, he's playing us

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harryupdates

liked by ynupdates, ynsmybestie and 82 230 others

harryupdates HARRY VIA HIS IG STORY. HE DIDN'T DELETE IT AFTER FIVE MINUTES. EVEN AFTER THIRTY.

view all 9 302 comments

ynupdates the world is healing

hArrysbtch thank you, harry. thank you, my man. I can still sing to london boy and think about you both

harrysmoustache so, they still together?

ynsmybestie thank fucking God!!!!!!! my parents are still together!

harryshoee my bitches are back!!!

ynandhmyparents i can still shamelessly use my username hehheh

user492 it would be hilarious later getting to know that they are, in fact, not back together

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yntennisfan

liked by ynupdates, harrysmoustache and 90 201 others

yntennisfan GUYSSSSSSS WTF WTF WTF. THIS IS YN'S REACTION TO PEOPLE CHEERING AFTER SHE ADMITTED SHE IS ENGAGED!!!!

view all 11 301 comments

yntennisfan it basically went like this: after winning the Wimbledon final yn was giving an interview. during it one of the fans screamed "MARRY ME, YN" and after a little laugh that the audience had yn responded with "I'M ALREADY ENGAGED, ACTUALLY"

yntennisfan the way people screamed!!!!! and then they showed smirking harry!!! does anyone have a picture??

ynupdates she is engaged... she won Wimbledon... oh god

harryupdates engaged... woah

hArrysbtch THE WORLD HEALED

harrysmoustache harry is engaged, do you hear it people?

ynsmybestie love is real, yn won her least comfortable tournament, god is a woman. yes.

harryshoee couldn't imagine a better partner for harry. she is so sweet and cute. they're perfect.

ynshands eat shit you haters that believed in every little rumour

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harrystyles

liked by yourinstagram, harryupdates and 17 402 939 others

harrystyles good morning, wimbledon champion fiancée

view all 203 301 comments

yourinstagram hiiii, fiancé

harryupdates how do I react when Harry is posting his partner on main????

ynupdates THEE CHAMPION

hArrysbtch PARENTS

⤷ yourinstagram harrystyles first child is here

⤷ harrystyles that's... fast

⤷ hArrysbtch guys, WTHFKSJEBJDE

annetwist beautiful, beautiful girl ❤️

ynsmybestie still processing the win and engagement and you're killing me with this post, harry. thank you.

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, ynupdates, taylorswift, hArrysbtch and 16 930 493 others

yourinstagram my waves meet your shore, ever and evermore

view all 492 201 comments

harrystyles well, it was enchanting to meet you

ynupdates i can't get used to them using taylor's lyrics to express their love for each other

taylorswift Congratulations on the Wimbledon win and your engagement! You are welcome at any of the concerts. Just text me the date you're available!

comment liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 132 302 others

harryupdates congratulations!!!!

hArrysbtch mum, dad

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

Now that I'm done with Y6 and seem to have reached the end of an era, I think it's time to do a TOP 3 of... everything, I guess? No particular order to the categories (besides top 3 games being last), so have fun browsing🫡

Thanks for all the cool and kind comments and tags this far!! 🫶🏻 This fandom has been so welcoming and I feel right at home 🥺❤️

If you wanna tell me my taste is terrible/incredible, drop a comment or ask or anything! I love discussing this stuff :>

For now, see y'all in Like a Dragon (Y7). I wanna at least get through Gaiden before real life gets hectic af; I'm starting my 4-month long clinical practice period in January and graduating afterwards. So I wanna be done with Gaiden before Christmas, pretty much. No idea how long either of these games are, so... 🤷🏼‍♀️ we'll see it I get there.

OKAY NO MORE RAMBLING. Sorry lol.

TOP 3 KARAOKE SONGS

1) Machine Gun Kiss

2) 24 Hour Cinderella

3) Pure Love in Kamurocho

TOP 3 DYNAMIC INTROS

1) VS Majima in the Coliseum (Kiwami 2)

2) VS Kuze in the sewers (very generic choice but it IS excellent)

3) VS Daigo (Yakuza 4)

TOP 3 MINIGAMES

1) Karaoke

2) Kiryu feeding stray cats (Y6) OR Taiko no Tatsujin if that one doesn't count

3) Darts

TOP 3 LEAST FAVOURITE MINIGAMES

1) Out Run (Y0)

2) Fishing

3) Aromatherapy Massage

a (dis)Honorable mention to Shogi and Majong. I don't hate them, but I have NO idea how to play them and haven't even tried ever since I got humiliated when I first attempted them.

TOP 3 SUBSTORIES

1) Another Haruka (Y5)

2) Haruka's Biggest Fan (Y6)

3) The Doll Girl (Y0)

TOP 3 RESTAURANTS

1) Smile Burger (cheap AND effective healing and a decent exp point yield in K2 and Y6?? incredible)

2) Kanrai

3) Kyushu #1 Star

TOP 3 CHARACTERS (Besides Kiryu and Majima)

1) Akiyama

2) Shinada

3) Nishiki

TOP 3 FINAL/ENDGAME BOSS BATTLES:

1) The entire final section including Millennium Tower and everything after in Yakuza 6.

TOP 3 TATTOOS:

2) Shibusawa

3) Ryuji

1) Kiryu

2) Tsuneo Iwami

3) Aizawa

TOP 3 FIGHTING STYLES (All playable characters)

1) Akiyama

2) Slugger Style

3) Dragon of Dojima (Y5 specifically)

TOP 3 RANDOM NPCs:

1) The based af Red Brick Hotel receptionist in Y3 🫶🏻

2) The Kamurocho takoyaki stand owner in Y0 who gave us some incredible Majima/Makoto crumbs

3) Kotobuki Drugs owners (thanks for all the Staminan Royales ✌🏻❤️)

TOP 3 WEAPONS:

1) Bicycles (iconic, legendary, crowd control MVPs, will never be matched by anything 💅🏻 )

2) Traffic cones (any size)

3) Shotguns

TOP 3 HEAT ACTIONS:

1) Komaki Firearm Flip

2) Essence of Sadism (the one with the crop you get from the dominatrix) 😳

3) Essence of Weaponry (pistol, the one where you straight up shoot the enemy and whack them over the head with the gun)

TOP 3 NON-HEAT ACTION TECHNIQUES:

1) Komaki knockback

2) Tiger Drop (come on. it's fun when you learn to pull it off. Let's be fr here.)

3) Tanimura's parry

TOP 3 WRONGEST PREDICTIONS I HAVE MADE (on or off the blog):

1) Kiryu and Majima will end up clashing in Y0 and something tragic happens. As a result Majima would become his insane Kiwami 1 version (I had seen a few short clips before Y0).

2) "Kiryu will be happy one day. He's just gonna work towards it in the games."

3) Kiryu and Haruka will live together at the start of Y6 and they'll be happy 🙃

AND FINALLY

TOP 3 GAMES (Y0-Y6)

1) Yakuza 0

2) Yakuza 6

3) Yakuza Kiwami

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

*sigh* alright guess it's time to ask...

Expectations for the men's gpf?

Personally, I feel it's gonna be a 4 way race between Shoma, Yuma, Ilia, and Adam, which means who knows what the podium will look like in any form... though if even 1 or 2 of those 4 bomb and Kao and/or Kevin skate clean, who knows...

And to go even further in my thoughts, I would say Shoma has the LOWEST chance of falling off the podium, while Adam has the highest... too much pressure and apparently this is his first gpf? I saw someone say that. I could see Adam bombing, considering he's the favorite and going last in the short I think.

...what has this sport done to me

This GPF is really unpredictable. Actually anyone could podium depending on how the competition goes. What I can definetly say is that this is one of the best packed GPF there ever was.

The best 6 men of the GP series really did make it. Each of them has something special: Ilia has the highest possible BV and the 4A, Adam developed into a secure jumper but also brings a different style to skating, Yuma has stunning softness about his skating with beautiful executed elements, Kevin is just a showmaster on the ice, Kao has this raw energy about him and Shoma is a master in terms artistry and audience emoting and spell binding magic with the softest knees and brings the overall package to the ice.

This analysis is done simply from a mathematical point of view, so it doesn't say anything about deserved or not. There is a sort of track record that indicates the advantages and disadvantages.

If we look at highest total scores from the GP series that would go:

1. Ilia 2.Adam 3.Yuma 4.Shoma 5.Kevin 6.Kao

If we look at their personal best scores that would go

1. Shoma 2.Ilia 3.Yuma 4.Adam 5.Kevin 6.Kao

If we take into consideration their current BV layout that would go:

1. Ilia 2.Shoma 3.Adam 4.Kao 5.Yuma 6.Kevin

Imo a clean Shoma is unbeatable. But even an "unclean" Shoma usually gets more PCS than everyone else (even if Adam had a higher PCS at CoC fs but there was a cap to Shoma's PCS) and usually Shoma has a GOE advantage on Ilia and Adam on spins and in general Shoma's GOEs are high (let's really forget the final NHK score and look at the tech box GOEs they were massive). He also has the status as two time world champion and ofc experience and calmness to be the leader however ofc if tech panel is super strict with him again nothing can save him and ofc if mistakes happen, he may even be off podium. But I think Shoma's scoring potential is the highest and contrary to Ilia and Adam he hadn't shown his full potential this season and usually Shoma paces himself well towards the big competitions. So all in all I agree on Shoma being the unlikeliest to place off podium. (But well if this season taught us anything then that nothing is for granted not even for two time world champion Shoma)

Ilia and Adam - Ilia even more than Adam - have the BV advantage and their massive season best scores to show. So if they can repeat that they are the medal winners. Both looked fairly secure so far this season but we haven't seen Ilia for almost a month and Adam may also have peaked a bit early with all his competitions. CoC was his 6th competition the season!

If Yuma would have his old content I would put him up with Ilia, Adam and Shoma, but atm he doesn't have the same BV as before his injury. I am not sure he will upgrade his content. If he doesn't than he can win the SP, but winning overall depends on the others. Let's say he cannot achieve the win by his own merits. But a medal is possible nonetheless as it's unlikely Shoma, Adam and Ilia can all produce their best skates. And Yuma's scores aren't bad at all for his BV being much lower.

Pressure is a different beast and it's Yuma's and Adam's first GPF and on both are certain expectations Adam as the first qualifier and Yuma as the 2nd one beating Shoma and also the one who has the highest SP score of the season by a tenth but still. That is a disadvantage.

Kao has more BV than Kevin but his GOEs on spins and steps aren't as good as of the others and his PCS are not that high either. And I don't think it helps his case to have two other Japanese men at the GPF to uplevel his PCS reputation. He's also not as secure as Yuma, Shoma, Ilia and Adam. Kao will only medal if at least two of the other 4 will make costly mistakes.

Kevin is completely dependent on the others making mistakes to get to the podium. His PCS are among the highest, he gets good GOEs but his BV is too low to win a medal on his own accord.

That would be my analysis. But as experience tell nothing has to go like expected. I mean NHK scoring was really the best example that anyone can get crashed if the tech panel and judges want you to. We can only hope for fairness and amazing skates. May the best combined of both days win.

[vellichorom]

i gotta ask. is there anything specific that inspired your art style?

i really like it, and i just kinda wanna know.

hi don't mind the fact that i respond 6 months after you asked please please please

i guess it'd be kind of lame just to answer with " my style is virtually a culmination of everything i have ever seen before & liked in art " huh;

it's kind of hard to say for certain?

this is going to sound. so silly. but off the top of my head, i want to say that my biggest, prominent influences was the mlpfim artstyle & fucking. danganronpa

the thicker lines & the more vector-like, toony aspects i'd attribute to my little pony ( particularly the denser top eyelashes i draw on characters, if you've noticed; ), & danganronpa really encouraged me to practice a more " realistic " style with more wrinkles on clothes, details to the skin, & balanced proportions ( not that that style has that with everyone's long as stupid fuck legs, among other things ), & having practiced drawing in those styles before, if not having outright tried to mimic them, has pushed me forward to a massive degree i believe.

YOU SEE, if you haven't noticed by this point, i'm a bit of a style-mimicker / copier. when drawing a character from their respective cartoon or media, more often than not, i'm drawing in that show's style or something similarly adjacent. & having DONE that for so long, learning how to get my hands around the style & all of it's ins & outs, THEN allows me to sample elements & techniques that i can put into MY OWN artstyle.

& i'm not saying that works for everyone or that you ought to do it too ( though i might recommend it! ), but it worked for me! & now my artstyle is a melting pot of everything mine eyes have ever seen.

BUT I WILL SAY! when it comes to coloring, which i've had / i have a bit of a harder time with i will admit, i've recently been taking inspiration from SPECIFICALLY @/kanrix & my sibling @/tomiechu! or at least they're the ones i can name off the top of my head beyond random images i find online or All of My Friends. they have good heads around pleasing, interesting, & befitting palettes for the drawings they create & you best BELIEVE my eyestrain or die loving ass is taking tips.

THANKS FOR ASKING! hopefully this sated your curiosity some!

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

for pride month, i figured i'd do a non-exhaustive list of people/looks that have given me gender envy and inspired my sense of style as a transmasculine fellow.

this post is about to be long and also likely 'cringe' (which is dead, so i do not let it dictate my decisions, but just in case a non-mutual reads this and wants to send me hate-mail for my 'bad' taste: I KNOW.) since it includes several people i worshiped as a tweenager. if you don't wanna see me talking about five billion emo men, then you probably don't wanna read this :^)

mulan (1998) was one of my first experiences with gender-nonconformity and experimentation. her dissatisfaction with living as a woman and her shame with feeling that way deeply resonated with me, and her transition into ping lit up light bulbs in my tiny mind, as well as the scene in which she is outed against her will due to an injury.

-

from a very young age, i've always kinda wanted to embody the swagger of freddie mercury. i would say that as a 6 or 7-ish year old i experienced my first bout of true gender envy over him. i wished i could look and sound like a man because of him. i ended up shoving down these feelings for many years due to internalized shit and outside influences. yet he still remains forever in my heart as a major influence both as an artist, an outfit composer, and a person.

-

eddie van halen is cool as shit. idk man. i dig his style. these patch work pants did irreparable damage to my psyche.

-

ryan ross was a big idol of mine as a tween and still continues to inspire me to this day. i wished i could do my makeup like him and have his fop-y floppy 60s mop cut, which was probably the beginning of my obsession with having hair that looks Like That.

*bren.don. ur.ie gets a dishonorable mention here bc i don't wanna talk about him but when i was 13 i also wanted his p.o. era mop sooo bad like soo bad i was planning on getting my hair cut like that for real but instead life happened and i haven't had my hair cut since like 2019 and now i've committed to it being a mile long.

-

pete wentz is at the forefront of writers that i would say have influenced my works. his influence is just about inseparable from anything i've done since 2018 at least. he just, like, gets me, you know? including, of course, his fashion sense, which lingers still through my daily wardrobe.

on the right, i added a pic of him recently that made me lose my mind.

-

i'm grouping william beckett and gabe saporta together because both are scene fellows who had lesser but still notable affects on me. the former's hair and the latter's sense of style have stayed with me all these years for a reason, and that reason is because i wish i could look like them.

-

renfield is just like me for real so of course i wish i could steal dwight frye's gender. the suspenders plus the vacant, hazy look in his eyes did things to me.

-

the man, the myth, the legend, my most special of interests, mr sir peter wilton cushing obe. if i love him, and i feel unloved, then i must act like him and sound like him and look like him to feel truly loved, right? because i want someone to love me to the extent i love him? because i hate myself so much? it's psychosexual to me in a way but also 100% from my heart. i need to look like him ^

he cracked my egg. which i will be getting more into in the next entry. but! basically i realized that maybe it isn't normal to want to look exactly like a man, deeper voice and flatter chest and all. and then i was like what is stopping me from being trans actually besides other people's disapproval, which i had at that point stopped letting get in my way. so trans ellie canon and real from this point forward.

-

sherlock holmes is an entirely separate entry on this list than peter cushing because sherlock is a fictional character that has been portrayed in many different mediums and by many different actors, many of whom i at least kinda want to look like.

but most of all, i want to be like him, the idea of sherlock holmes. a protector who saves the meek and weak and who persecutes the oppressors. he is good, he is just, and he is loved by nearly all. also he is a major fucking nutjob, like me. he inspires me so much. this yearning helped me realize who i wanted to be, who i am. it makes my heart glow with hope and pride knowing that someone who so obviously has so much 'wrong' (wrong like me) with them can not just be a hero, but also one of the most definitive heroes in history.

-

adam ant's gnc swag.... idk man he ignited my historical obsession with highwaymen.

-

final thoughts:

i am so happy to be a trans fag ! my life is so much better since i realized that i am a boy ! 🥰🥰🥰 i am trying to experiment more with my appearance and i am loving it.

[brightgolden]

2022 Writing Self-Evaluation

I was tagged by these amazing writers @neondiamond @greenblueish @lunarheslwt @disgruntledkittenface @onlythebravest

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 4 (wow that's serious contrast compared to last year if this doesn't show how much i'm struggling idk what will)

2. Word count posted for the year: 161 377

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Here's Your Perfect

Bookmarks: Here's Your Perfect

Comments: Here's Your Perfect

More under the cut!

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

Easily Enchanted. I loved how easy the whole plot came to me and how quickly I finished it. The whole process was like a breeze.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Definitely I Do. I finished writing it in February 2021, and I believed I have grown as a writer since then. The whole fic was so so cringey

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

Probably when someone messaged to tell me how much they loved the fic. Looking at you @lululawrence and @thinlinez

And anyone who were diligent enough to click through multiple links to come to my blog and write a comment or ask about new fics

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Tbh the second half of my year just went on a nosedive that it left me absolutely knackered by November/December.

In comparison, I usually write 20k every month and in November, I only wrote 8k.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Probably Atticus in Here's Your Perfect. Never in my life did I have to spend more than 6 hours with a toddler, and yet I received a comment saying how realistic his character is.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

The dialogue is something I came up with halfway through writing Endgame which is a rare occurrence.

Alma shakes her head, index finger raised in the air as she patiently explains, “There just isn’t any recent documentation about soulmates because people progress. They build boats and sail around the world. How do you expect to meet your soulmate if they don’t live in the same land as you? Hmm?”

Harry turns to Louis, wanting him to refute it too. But Louis looks like he is actually entertaining the idea, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed.

“And over time, without the relevancy, soulmates became folklore,” he mumbles. “Mum said that when I was young.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I'm not sure I do, but looking back at I Do, I'm probably selling myself short here.

Other than that, probably being brave enough to finally write my first 100k fic. Although, considering I didn't manage to finish it in time, I might regret putting so much of my time in that one.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

Literally stop being so hard on myself as a writer.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

During my darkest days, I can always rely on @pocketsunshineharry and @thinlinez They are my best cheerleader and definitely the reason I'm still writing today.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Not intentionally, but Harry's persistence in proving himself in Here's Your Perfect

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write whenever you want, whatever you want, however you want. Don't let anything/anyone discourage you.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

My beloved Mob AU that at this point I have developed love-hate relationship with. So tired of writing and talking about this one.

A fic for @faithinthefutureficfest and a sugar baby fic that I'm really excited about

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I feel like everyone has done this at this point because in my classic way, I waited for the last day of the year to make an evaluation.

Tagging @ohpleaselarry @harryslonecurl @dragmedown @cyantific if you haven't done this already!

[jillianwarts]

1-100

1. What have you eaten today?

liempo and rice after workout lol.

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

ex ko pa ata yon. Saks lang. HAHAHAHA

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

white sneakers.

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

si ano... philip. si davaoconyo hahaha. pakahayop ng mga skits non.

5. What is your favorite scent?

floral/powdery scent na perfume.

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

cuffin' season char. yung dating ber months. yung purely malamig lang pero di binabagyo.

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

neither

8. What color are your nails?

natural color. walang nail polish atm. pero sa feet, red.

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

ti... char. maliit na mukha ng puppy.

10. What is something you find romantic?

when someone makes the effort for you without you asking for it

11. Are you happy?

nope.

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

sad. yung credit card bills ko. maya't maya kaskas kala mo milyonarya e.

13. Dogs or Cats?

dogs.

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

library.

15. What is your style?

laid back.

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

sit by the beach while having my favorite drink and plainly staring at the moon.

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

single.

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

i don't like anyone right now. awit. baka meron ka dyan? hahaha. but if i like someone right now, it'll probably be because we could laugh at the same things and talk about the most random things lol.

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

nope. celebrities are boring. char.

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

noooope.

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

nanunuod siguro netflix. lol.

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

i decided not to change kasi perfect ako e. char HAHAHAHAHA

23. Were you ever in a school play?

yes. little teapot. HAHAHAHAHA nyeta.

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

dreams ni akira kurosawa. pinanuod lang namin to kasi pina-homework samin ng advertising professor namin before. i didn't even understand the whole point of the movie. baka i was just stupid. pero yep, that movie kasi di ko na din maintindihan life ko. hahahaha

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

dream ko makapunta sa lahat ng disney parks. haven't done it because madaming gastusin pero konti ang panggastos.

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

different stories and other things without any judgment.

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

pag mahilig sumapaw pag may nagkkwento tas magfofocus about sa sarili. also, pag physically/emotionally abused na nagsstay pa din sa jowa nilang kumag.

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

yung ma-ere tsaka walang proper hygiene.

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

na-approve yung project proposal ko, but it's also the worst thing this week kasi that's going to be one hell of a project to deal with. hahahaha

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

growing old alone.

31. How long was your longest relationship?

7 years. :D

32. Have you ever been in love?

yezzir.

33. Are you currently in love?

nawp. :(

34. Why did your last relationship end?

i got tired of the repetitive cheating.

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

none.

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

last week ata. dunno, hormones probably. not so fun fact, bigla na lang akong naiiyak pag sobrang pagod ko.

37. Name someone pretty.

Dana. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. gago. ano uh... hayley williams.

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

badtrip. HAHAHAHA wala.

39. Do you get jealous easily?

unfortunately, yes. as an only child who grew up getting everyone's attention... i even get jealous when my friends get new friends. hahaha. but i'm trying to change that.

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

yes mamser. ang saya saya. chz.

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

bestie, yes.

42. Ever had detention?

detention nope. pero na-disciplinary office. nung hs to. before christian living subject started, nagjajamming kami tas kinakantahan namin ng silvertoes yung isa naming kaklase na nagsabing crush daw siya ng lahat ng lalake sa classroom namin. ayon. umiyak siya sa teacher naming madre. tas lahat kaming magkakaibigan eh binitbit sa YLC office (basta siya yung may capability to suspend a student hahaha).

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

city. mamimiss ko ingay ng city pag tumira ko sa countryside lol.

44. What do people call you?

ganda. HAHAHAHAHAHA char gagi. dana perfect. char ulit. ano... dana.

45. What was the last book you read?

i decided to live as me.

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

10% lang ata kung yung stereotype na nerd na matalino. stupid ass. pero if being introverted... 80% lol.

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

r&b. pop. rap. minsan rock. minsan kpop.

48. How tall are you?

4'10. huhu

49. Do you like kids?

oks lang. wag lang yung mga mahilig magtantrums.

50. Favorite fruits?

green mango. strawberry. melon.

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans.

52. What’s your earliest memory?

yung tatay kong dadalhin ako sa ATC noon, tapos magtitingin tingin ng mga damit. tas papasok sa osh kosh no, may gusto kong ipabili tapos ayaw niya bilhin. tas nagstay lang ako sa tapat nung damit, tas sabi niya "tara na, pinapahiya mo ba ko?" pero pabulong lol

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

song ata. yung fling ko before. HAHAHAHA. ganda ba yarn? hahahahahaha

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

in front kasi vain tayo eh.

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

receipts from my different trips.

56. Do you save money or spend it?

spend. tangina sana magbago na ko. lol.

57. What would your dream house be like?

itong bahay namin, pero yung kwarto ko nasa rooftop.

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

getting stood off. getting shouted at. being lied to. yung tatanungin ka kung ano yung dapat gawin pero hindi ka pakikinggan hahahahaha. fifth... yung ginagawa ng gobyerno satin ngayon. lol.

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

money, new shoes, new clothes, food, kdrama.

60.         You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

syempre magtatawag ako ng ibang tao para kunin yung nalulunod na aso. di tayo bayani beh. kelangan natin ng pera kasi maluho tayo ih.

61. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a. sasabihin ko sa besties ko. b. magttravel na kami pa europe. c. hindi, hirap hirap mabuhay e.

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

evangelista. hahaahahahhaahha

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

switzerland.

64. Do you like the beach?

Y E E E E E E E E S.

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

i did before.

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

wag na beh.

67. Do you talk to yourself?

oo, pag agit.

68. Describe your hair.

dry as fuck. brown with a few streaks of blonde.

69. What is the meaning of life.

answered.

70. What is your ideal partner like?

someone mature enough to calm me when i'm being agitated. tsaka someone who can laugh with me even when it's the corniest thing in the world.

71. Do you want to get married?

right now? idk. i don't even have someone to marry. hahaha

72. Do you want to have kids?

not in this economy.

73. Like or dislike your family?

i prefer my father's side than my mom's.

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

smol chonk.

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

nah.

76. What would you change about your life?

financial situation.

77. Religious or Not?

not. accck.

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

my best friends.

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

yessir.

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

si barney. char. wala beh.

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

wala beh. wala naman akong wish makasama.

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

tatawag ako ng barangay. char.

83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

yeppppppppppppppppp. makes me sleepy

84. Do you like bubble baths?

yez.

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

nope. acab btw.

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

nope. di ako rnb singer e. sorry. HAHAHAHAHAHA

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

yep. tatay ko.

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

yung presentation and execution ng project ko HAHAHA

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

switzerland. sapporo. seoul. havana. paris. shanghai. hong kong. tokyo. california. florida.

90. How was your day today?

boring pero hectic.

91. Play an instrument?

used to play flute.

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

dangerous.

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

not really?

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

nope.

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

at work. sabi nila. eh ang bait bait ko naman kausap?

96. When are you vulnerable?

when i'm comfortable with someone. also pag may period lol.

97. How much free time do you have?

free ako after work and during weekends.

98. Do you like to go hiking?

nope.

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

odd.

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

went cliff diving and snorkeling already. wanna try sky diving and bungee jumping next.

salamat ho sa pagtatanong ng 100 questions agad agad. hahahaha!

[mood2you]

Food Journal 2/22

Breakfast : Bagel and egg

Lunch : Ono Hawaiian (mostly macaroni salad, one single piece of chicken I'd left myself, some cabbage)

Lunch 2 : Breakfast burrito and bag of snap peas

Lunch 3 : Broccoli chedder soup

Snack : Watermelon, watermelon smoothie

Snack : Rice and teriyaki sauce

I think these journals are making me hungrier. I really seriously think that your job should ask when you usually eat meals and be forced to give you meal breaks AT normal times. I know there will be a rush, but imagine if I ate dinner at 7 and you ate at 6, THAT would work out if there were enough workers to cover the rush. Working in a walkable city should be so casual that you could find someone who eats at 5 to work 2 hours, and not feel like their whole day is leading up to working, but instead so casual and easy.

Anyways, tomorrow's Friday which means no meat, but I also have to cook dinner, but I don't want to go shopping, but now I'm sitting on me bed I don't want to take any meat out, we probably already ate all the fish anyways. My coworker, who has no respect for "the schedule" which sucks ass and is always changing anyways and three times was not even sent to us, and we're basically on call for free all the time, wanted me to cover his shift but I don't feel like working 6 days a week. Working is what's stopping me from doing the dishes. My other coworker wants the overtime, he won't get it though, and (as though talking about a puppy's face) I can't say no to my boss. I said no to my coworker. I said maybe. I have bad time management anyways I would get the same done with or without having my day taken up. I'm tired of being judged by people. I keep on accidently being passive aggressive to my boss, I think "accidentally passive aggressive" just means careless. Last week it was from poor sleep hygene, this week I have no excuse, but last week was worse. It wasn't my boss exactly, but I know she'd point to it. My routine is changing soon, a routine I obliterated, it's becoming a routine again, some structure. I could have made a routine if I'd had time. I need to go to the DMV and the car repair. I will do it in 2 weeks. As I said on my other blog "this is my last week of goofing off and drawing all day" and Friday was going to actually be all day.

I have all these things like "most of a cabbage" "whole bag of spinach" "frozen spinach" "watermelon" all I've done with it is cube the watermelon. I have a trick which is just using a sharp knife and shaving it while it's in quaters, instead of cutting the triangle slices and trimming the rind off. If you do it lazy style some of the pieces are less tender. Watermelon used to have a lot of white and some black seeds but it's gotten to have more flesh in my lifetime. That's good but I'm suspisious of that stuff, maybe it's less fiber or something. Thinking about inflation makes me think how did we not do gangbusters selling xyz, it was probably only a dollar then. 3 fucking dollars. How can they say inflation is 3% when they also say food prices have doubled, what is it 3% per week?

Well, I try to keep this stuff off my main anymore. Well, you're not the only one going through it. Goodnight.

I'm just mad I've been working on comics for a month, but it's been 3 comics so I have no buffer of anything, it's stupid to start a comic concurrantly, I want to and can't decide. Just because I finished an outline doesn't mean I can't wing it on a different project and save the outline for later. This week has been very long. I haven't seen my friends much this week because we've been annoying each other last week. I keep having to work. I wish the schedule wouldn't change. I wish my coworker would ask for days off 2 weeks in advance. I hope my boss finds someone to cover him easily and doesn't even have to ask me. I w

[lexalovesbooks]

3, 6, + 20 for the book asks!!

3. what were your top five books of the year?

I had to think so hard about this, these aren't in any particular order because that would make me feel bad:

The Scapegracers + The Scratch Daughters by H.A. Clarke- these books are just sososo good. They're about witches, there's such a wonderful strong theme of queer community running throughout in addition to girls supporting girls, and all the characters feel so real and fleshed out, also the writing style is very unique and fun to read. I know I just said I wasn't ranking them but these are my favorites of the year 100%

Wilder Girls by Rory Powers- was kind of meh on this one for the first third or so, then I read the entire second half in one night, it scared the shit out of me and I still can't stop thinking about it months later. Probably one of the best horror books I've ever read

Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler- I had to read this one for class, it also scared the shit out of me and also really made me angry at first? It's dystopian and has kind of a 'in times of danger people will revert to doing terrible things just because they can/people won't look out for anyone but themselves in times of danger' mindset at the start which really bothered me but then the second half did such a fantastic job of turning this around and saying that people are still capable of being kind, even if the world sucks, even if they've done bad things, you just have to give them the chance and the stability to do better. Anyways that shift grabbed me so hard, it immediately became one of my favorite books and I'm now dying to read everything else by Octavia Butler

Briefly, a Delicious Life by Nell Stevens- This book is a ghost story, set in the monastery author George Sand and her family spend a brief few months living in, and from the point of view of the dead teenaged girl who haunts it. The writing style of this book was super sweet and smooth and addicting, overall it's kind of a sad story? but so beautifully told I still loved it

The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes- I picked this book up bc the author's new book looked interesting but my library didn't have it, so I figured I'd read this one in the meantime, and it ended up hitting really close to home in a bunch of ways I wasn't expecting. 10/10, made me cry

6. was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

so many things... the first one that comes to mind is All Our Hidden Gifts, which I had fully checked out and ready to read right before my school semester got really intense, and then the loan expired before I could even start it :( Hopefully I'll get to read it eventually lol

20. what was your most anticipated release? did it meet your expectations?

so, my most anticipated release for this year was probably System Collapse by Martha Wells, which... I still haven't gotten time to read. But! i also read The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik this year, which I was super looking forward to so I'll count it even though it technically was released last year. At first I wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it, cuz I kind of felt like it wrapped things up a bit too neatly, but after I gave it a couple weeks to settle I got over that, and the rest of the book was so good I couldn't really complain that much anyway. I can appreciate a no-reserves happy ending on occasion

[beautifulpersonpeach]

so far 6/7 members of bts have begun solo individual activities outside of music, what surprises me is that jimin hasn’t done anything yet, im anxiously waiting to see what he has planned and i know it’s gonna be hugeee maybe fashion ambassador??

**

Hi Anon,

Why is it surprising that Jimin hasn't done any 'solo activities outside of music' yet? Honestly, when I see questions like this, the first thing I want to do is ask you on what basis you're basing your expectations to begin with.

Because this is the same guy that until his friend personally asked him to take on With You as a solo project, he had said he wasn't all that interested in doing OSTs. And even after being directly asked by his friend, he only agreed after insisting that his friend do the song with him as a duet.

Prior to then, Jimin's solo stans had been raging, wondering why on earth Jimin didn't have a solo OST to his name, burning down trees in the Amazon and blaming HYBE for holding him back... Doing the absolute most, only for Jimin to express disinterest and then get into it when an opportunity matched his own timing.

My response might seem a bit harsh and disproportionate to your ask Anon, but your ask is one of many I've seen in recent weeks, questioning why Jimin is doing or not doing this or that when xyz is doing it. I don't understand where this impulse to constantly compare the guys comes from, but the last person you ever want to do this with, is Jimin.

Park Jimin is the last person to do things because other people are doing it. He's the last person to do anything in exactly the way other people have.

All that aside, here are some possible explanations for why we haven't seen solo activities outside of music, for Jimin yet:

He seems to be entirely focused on his solo album, and as I've said before, appears to be playing catch up to the rest of the guys in that regard.

Remember that: Yoongi, RM, Taehyung, and Jungkook, have more or less finished their albums at this point. Taekook in particular have been teasing their albums for 3 whole years.

All the other members have established and previously highlighted associations outside of BTS that make those auxiliary activities no-brainers, e.g. Taehyung's SOOP ad with the Wooga squad, Hobi and Yoongi's known industry connections for producing and for attending basketball matches in the case of Yoongi (and the art world in the case of RM), JK and Charlie Puth is a friendship I don't fully understand but it's been there since forever too. You can add Jin and Chris Martin to this mix too.

Jimin has typically kept his hobbies, connections, and friendships outside of BTS, as a private affair. Perhaps this will change soon, but given this is the track record we have of him, why is there the expectation that he will do things differently?

Most of these sort of activities, e.g magazine covers/features, fashion show events, going on talk shows, are publicity stunts tied to music or project releases. When you see any of the guys doing something like this, you can expect a new project to drop within the following 3 months if it hasn't already. It's what happened with PFW and the Friendcation release, RM's art piece with Sexy Nukim. These 'solo activities outside of music' are ways to keep the artist in the public consciousness ahead of a major project release or during it. As Jimin is still working on his solo material, we're not likely to see anything like this from him until the album is almost finished. In my opinion.

Even then, it's possible Jimin does attend a fashion show or something along those lines soon (aside, why are people so into this? Am I the only one who hardly cares about fashion shows beyond the editorial-style make-up one occasionally sees on the runway?). My personal wish is for Jimin to get into fragrance and drop a perfume line, but we don't know his plans.

*

All this speculation is pointless. I'm taking my time to answer this because I don't want to see any more asks in my inbox from his concerned stans worried that he's falling behind (he's Park Jimin for goodness sake please wake up), or from his antis who think he's unpopular and an outcast (are you high?). Anon it's possible you're in neither of those categories, and honestly your ask seemed the most level-headed compared to the 9 asks I've gotten so far on this topic, and that's why I selected this to answer.

With Jimin it's best to just vibe along to whatever you get, because that man will only do things when he is good and ready, and I've never been disappointed by the results of his efforts.

[procrastination-queenie]

Still with you || JJK

Pairing: scientist!au husband!au Jungkook x scientist!au wife!au reader.

Synopsis: you were going on about with your boring life until you accidentally meet unexpected guests. Was it accidental though?

Warning: slight angst, the reader has a bad relationship with her parents, one sexual reference, kissing, long-haired Jungkook😂, few swear words, I don't think there's anything else.

Word count: 3k

A/N: italics are the reader's future-self talking.

This is loosely based on a tiktok video I saw on Pinterest.

You puffed, kicking a pebble that was by your feet as you waited for your driver to pick you up from school. You honestly wanted nothing other than going back to disappear in your room for the rest of day. Why you may wonder! Well, you got an A- on your latest exam, and you know how your parents are going to react. To them, you either get an A+, or you're a failure. They want you to become a lawyer like them, and take over their law firm after your graduation. Your whole life has been planned out before your birth; an arranged marriage took place between your mother and father, to merge the most famous two law firms in the country. Now, your family owns the biggest law firm in the country leaving you with no options other than having your whole life planned out for you without getting a say in it. What was expected from you is to excel in your studies, go to the most prestigious university then run your family's firm. Life really sucked, and you were only sixteen years old.

"Good afternoon, Miss. Hope I am not late!" Your driver, Richard, said interrupting your thoughts as he opened the door for you.

You shook your head with slumped shoulders, "No Richard, you're always on time," you said getting in the car, but not before you could feel his gaze that was full of pity.

It was nothing new, the whole staff that worked for your family knew what you were going through, and while many may envy you and the position that you hold within the society, the staff knew better than to think in such a superficial way.

"Young lady, I thought we made it clear concerning your grades! An A-? Seriously?" Your birth-giver whom you haven't seen for the last 6 month, slammed your report card onto the counter as she looked down on you as if you were a disgrace to the family. You sighed heavily in response wanting nothing other than to disappear in your room, nothing seemed to satisfy your parents; it's like you only become visible when grades are brought up, other than that they barely notice your existence. "I am sorry, what was that?" She asked hearing your sigh as she raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow at you daring you to defy her. Sometimes you wondered why did she treat you like that, why was there so much hatred in her tone. You would sometimes think that she hated that her life was planned out for her as well, so she takes it out on you.

"Nothing," you answered quietly, wanting to get this one-sided conversation over with. "Thought so. Go to your room. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night," she said, jaw clenching as she pointed towards your room upstairs.

"And when do you ever want to see me!" You muttered quietly under your breath as you made your way towards Your room.

As you neared your room down the hall, you heard voices from inside, making you wonder who could be in your room, seeing that the maids usually clean it after you leave for school in the early morning. Nearing the door, you tried to be as quiet as possible to eavesdrop. "Jungkook be quiet, and stop fussing!" You heard a girl's voice say. Her voice was somehow familiar, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. "Sorry babe, I didn't know you used to live in such a luxurious house," this Jungkook guy, you assumed, answered back chuckling.

What? Who lives here other than your family? And used to live? What does he mean? Who are these people?

You suddenly entered your room to see two people ,just as you suspected, looking back at you as if they were not expecting you at all. "Shit! When did you set the machine, Jungkook?" The girl standing not far away from the guy asked with a clenched jaw. "Ops!" He replied looking back at her. "Seriously, Jungkook? Are you kidding me? That's when I arrive from school! I told you we need to do this before I arrive!" She whined as she hit his arm lightly. "Hey, at least the machine works!" He shrugged biting his bottom lip. "Yeah, you're right," she said calming down a bit.

You kept looking back and forth between them, backing up very slowly to get out of the room and call the police. Apparently, these two are crazy and you need to call for help. "Get back here missy, you are not going anywhere," the girl said looking at you with a glint in her eyes daring you to take one more step away from them. "Look, I don't want you to panic. We are not here to do anything bad. I promise, but knowing how you are, you probably don't believe me, so I am very sorry because of what we are about to do!" She said sincerely making you panic even more. Suddenly the guy came towards you and lifted you over his shoulder. Welp, this is it, you're going to die, your parents are probably going to be mad for the lack of an heir to their firm, but whatever! "W-what are going to do?" You panicked even more hitting this Jungkook guy to let you down. "Don't worry, we are tying you up, so you won't go anywhere and expose us which will lead to many complications and malfunctions that nor you neither do I need to happen. We've worked so hard to reach this point." She said tying you up with your jumping rope which you didn't know how she found since you keep it hidden in your closet. She oddly seemed to know her way around the room which was very confusing, have these people been watching you for some time?

She sighed in relief after she tied you up as she leaned back to sit directly in front of you. "Don't you recognise me?" She asked looking at you smiling as if she's your long lost sister and that knowing who she is will bring you immense joy. You looked her up and down, tilting your head to the side when it suddenly kicks in your head, she looks very familiar, how could you miss it. She looks exactly like you but older. She looked exactly like how you envisioned yourself to be ONLY if you possessed the freedom to do what you want. "Are you... No, it couldn't be!" You said shaking your head. You're hallucinating, you're sure of it. "I know, right? But it's true … I am you, but 10 years older." You looked her up and down, again. She looked totally different from you right now. Carefree is the keyword. She looks like she doesn't have a care in the world, she's also sporting a style that you have always wanted to try. "W-wha- .. h-how is this possible?" If you were panicking a few moments ago, now you were on the verge of freaking out. Have you gone mad? Is this a dream? It must be! I mean your whole life you're struggling to fight your parents and become what you want to be, but this is absolutely NUTS! It must be the stress taking a toll on you, must be!

"Oh, it's a long story," your older self chuckled as if this situation was funny. It kinda is, if you were in her shoe it would probably be funny to you. You looked to your left side, eyeing the guy standing next to you who was looking around your room with so much interest. Your older self inspecting you as you eyed Jungkook, chuckling again silently knowing how curious you are. "Who is he?" You blurted out looking at him in disapproval. Jungkook suddenly stopped looking around and looked at you smiling and waving at you with his left hand. "Oh, hi I am Jungkook," A silver ring on his left hand caught your eyes, you involuntarily looked at your older self, searching her left hand, but you didn't need to look for so long because a diamond ring glinted back at you, as if telling you yup I am here to confirm your doubts. You suddenly gasped as you looked between them, Jungkook flinched in surprise as your older self smirked at you. "You figured it out, didn't you?" she said amusement dancing in her eyes. "He's your husband!" Your face scrunched in disgust. "Our husband," she corrected you leaning back on her palms still looking at you in amusement. "Ew! No!" You said looking at him again with disapproval. "Now, I am offended," Jungkook said feigning sadness, placing his hand over his chest. "Your hair is so long!" You pointed out, tilting your head to the side. "Thank you!" He beamed at you happy that something about him appealed to you. "That wasn't a compliment, don't flatter yourself," you answered back glaring at him. Jungkook pouted looking back at your older self for help "Well, believe it or not, you'll come to love everything about him even if he dyes his hair red," your older self averted your attention from your supposed future husband towards her. She looked at Jungkook with a smirk; however, you could feel the love in her eyes. You could tell that she really loved him as her smirk eased into a soft loving look making you wonder what did Jungkook do to deserve your love.

A few minutes passed as Jungkook and your older self swiped places, Jungkook sat in front of you making sure that you don't try and break free to run away as your older self kept looking for something around your room. "You have so many tattoos, are you a criminal?" You questioned grumpily. You heard your older self chuckle behind you as she looked at the calendar on your desk. Jungkook's big doe eyes, which you suspected were your older self's weakness since it's already making you feel things, looked at you trying to find a suitable answer. "Umm, well I've never done anything illegal," he said. "Intentionally," he added gulping when you kept your piercing gaze upon him. His eyes looked upwards toward the left side which according to what you've read in the science of body language indicated that he was probably remembering the illegal thing that he has done. Sighing, you tried to take it easy upon him since he was starting to get more uncomfortable under your gaze.

"What's your job?" You asked as your legs swayed the chair, you were tied to, right and left. The situation was starting to become really funny to you; you were tied up like you were going to be tortured for some information that you possess; however, it seems like the roles are reversed seeing that you were swaying the chair as you kept interrogating your future husband. He hummed, scratching the side of his neck with his lips pursed and his right eye closed, "I don't know how to tell you this, but we kinda lost our job," he said calmly, big doe eyes staring back at you as a small smile made its way onto his handsome features. "What do you mean WE? you lost your job!" You stopped swaying the chair, an act that showed that you were trying to process the information. "Nah, we as in me and you," he said still looking at you as if he was telling you something totally normal like how the sun sets from the west. "Yeah, we work together and we kinda got fired," your older self said as she stood next to you resting her hand on the back of your chair. "What do you mean kinda got fired? What do you guys do?" You asked looking up at her. "Hmm, … we're scientists." She said looking back down on you. "Wait, what? You're not running our law firm?" You turned the chair suddenly making her remove her hand from the back of it. "Nah, dude we are not going through this bullshit that our parents planned out for us." She said shaking her heading with a pure look of repugnance on her face. "W-why did you get fired, then ?" You asked trying to understand more. "Well, you see me and Jungkook were developing a time machine, you know how many novels predicted the occurrence of such invention," you nodded eagerly for her to continue "the bastards at the lab made fun of us for being delusional because and I quote "this only exists in fiction and there could never be a thing such as time machines" the pricks! Don't they know that before the invention of ships and aeroplanes, writers prophesied these inventions, I mean that's how usually things start. People come up with crazy ideas and we scientists try to bring these ideas into life." Her outrage was evident in her tone. You nodded agreeing with her. "Anyways, that's not for you worry about, at least for the time being," she said walking away from you to continue looking around.

You tried to change the topic, but for some reason, you were not gifted with the ability to be smooth, "What made you marry him?" You fired the question still looking at Jungkook who suddenly smirked at you. "I am pretty good with a sword," he answered, and you could feel his ego inflate. "Oh my, Jungkook please don't!" Your older self whined rolling her head. "What?" Jungkook asked going back to his baby Bambi-eyed self before he started acting cocky. "A sword!" You wondered in a hushed tone to yourself, Jungkook's eyes looking over your face as if he can see your mind putting two and two together, "Oh!" You suddenly realised what he was implying, apparently something sexual. "EEWW!" you shook your head trying not to imagine anything. "Jungkook for God's sake, She's still sixteen, and she doesn't know you yet. Besides you know that I married you because I love you not because of … that," your older self said shaking her head at her husband's immaturity.

"Anyways, it's almost time. If Jungkook set the timer correctly, we should be getting back in a few seconds!" Your older self said from behind you, untying you from your restraints. "What? Back where?" You asked turning to look at her. "What do you mean back where! Back to our present!" She answered looking back at Jungkook. "What about me?"

"What about you?" Jungkook asked confused. Rolling your eyes, not really knowing how you will actually fall in love with the guy later on, "I mean … what am I supposed to do now that I met you?" You asked looking back at your older self, eyes begging her to guide you, tell you what to do, to tell you that everything will turn out just fine. Her features softened as she neared you, "hey listen kiddo, everything will be alright. I can't tell you how it will turn out exactly, but I want you to know that you wouldn't want it any other way, I promise!" She said placing her hand on your shoulder, glancing behind you at Jungkook and smiling softly. You were sure Jungkook was returning her smile, as well. "I don't know what to do...how do I become you?" She tilted her head thinking about it. "Well, I can't tell you what to do because you'll know that, but you can start by resisting," she winked at you before extending her hand to Jungkook who took it. They both backed away from you. You felt them start to fade, but before they vanished completely, Jungkook winked at you in a friendly manner and told you, "see you soon!" You frowned not understanding what he meant by that.

Two days had already passed since you met your future self. In the beginning, you doubted the whole thing happening, but then you found a small sticky note by your desk with neat handwriting saying "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. ~ William Ernest Henley" which you realised was a quote from your favourite poem, your older self had written it down for you. It was the only proof that what had taken place in your room was real. It was still the beginning of the school day, and you were already bored. "Attention please, everyone!" Your teacher raised her voice over the noisy chatter of the students, bursting your bubble of thoughts and making you look up as your colleagues started to settle down. "I would like you to welcome our new transfer student, Jeon Jungkook," she exclaimed enthusiastically looking around with a hopeful gaze. Jeon Jungkook? What? No way? You suddenly looked up, a shy boy with a shaggy haircut entered the classroom barely looking up, too afraid to make eye contact with anyone. You gasped quietly, that's what Jungkook meant by seeing me soon? He looks nothing like his older self! You thought, inspecting the Jungkook standing by the teacher. He looked up shyly, and the first person he laid eyes on was you. Your heart fluttered when he made eye contact and averted his eyes quickly as he blushed. Oh how cute! You thought smiling slightly. Oh my God, it's actually happening! You were having an internal conversation with yourself now, realising that this was true, you're already harbouring a crush on the boy. "Jungkook, why don't you take a seat next to y/n," your teacher said averting her gaze from Jungkook to you, nodding her head so you'd raise your hand to let him know where you're sitting. "Y/n, would you please show Jungkook around the school later, and help him with what he's missing. If there's anything you're unable to help him with, you can return to me," she said moving already behind her desk and opening her book to start the lesson as Jungkook made his way to the empty desk next to you.

"H-hi, I am Jungkook," he introduced himself minutes after he sat down. "I know, the teacher introduced you at the beginning of class," you said smiling softly at his rosy cheeks that displayed his embarrassment, you chuckled finding him so endearing trying to make a small conversation with you. You turned your head paying attention to what the teacher was explaining. You could feel Jungkook fiddle around in his seat looking around worriedly with his big Bambi eyes that you're sure are now your weakness. You realised that he was nervous because he doesn't have a pen and was embarrassed to ask for an extra one. You silently nudged him and gave him one of yours which made him flash you a grateful smile making you flash him a soft one.

Meanwhile, you and Jungkook were watching your younger-selves interact shyly just as you did ten years ago. "Kookie!" He hummed not really paying you attention since he was eating an ice-cream. You turned your head inspecting his features that didn't really change that much since you first saw him, "you didn't set the machine on that time by mistake, did you?" You asked referring to the time when you asked him about the time settings after your younger self had caught you both snooping around her, well technically your room. You looked at your melting ice-cream, taking a small bite as you could still see Jungkook from your peripheral vision. His movements stopped for a moment, seeing that you smirked as if you caught him in the act. Sensing your sly smile, he shook his head "I don't know what you're talking about!" He feigned dumbness as if you won't be able to tell that he was lying, but who was he fooling? You knew him like the back of your hand. He sighed looking at you in defeat as you raised an eyebrow at him waiting for him to explain himself. "Babe, I know how you were always anxious during that time of your life, and now that we achieved this together and made the whole time machine thing possible; I wanted the first thing for us to do is console your younger-self. I remember how you had a hard time because of your parents," he explained himself all pouty like a child who had done something wrong. However, Jungkook didn't do anything wrong, far from it actually, he wanted nothing but to make you feel less stressed and less unloved. He knows that his younger self has to overcome so many intricacies for you to open up to him. You were a totally different version from who you are right now, and it hurt him to see you doubting yourself or feeling inferior all these years because of your non-existent relationship with your parents. "Thank you, Kookie," you said placing a soft peck on his pouty lips. "You're not mad at me?" He asked, eyes widening, watching you enjoy your ice-cream as you took in your surroundings. You shook your head looking back at him. "I love you," you smiled holding his hand into yours. His worried bunny features eased into a smile and a look full of nothing but adoration for you, "I love you, too." He kissed you passionately while rubbing his thumb over your cheeks. "Finish your ice-cream. We have ten minutes remaining before we go back." You said looking at your digital watch. "What? We don't get to take the ice-cream with us?" He asked, curiosity glossing in his eyes. You shook your head at your husband whom you genuinely believed is a child trapped in the body of a 26 years old man, but as you said: you wouldn't want to have it any other way.

[13mtm80]

These Asks have probably been there for a while I really haven't used social media a whole lot over the last 2 years. I've started to get better, but I still haven't spent a lot of time on my @/13mtm80 socials (which includes my personal Facebook and Instagram; and my public Twitter, Tumblr, and YouTube).

So, where have I been? Almost 3 years ago I suddenly stopped captioning dwsa/dwsa cast videos when I started to have a persistent migraine that refused to leave or lessen. The migraine then decided to make it difficult for my brain to send messages to my right side. Making it so I no longer had use of my dominate right hand (I couldn't open/close my hand or hold anything, and I had no grip). Lot's of examinations later: Atypical Chronic Migraine. Now I take medicine to lessen the migraine.

With the migraine lessened from a 10 on the 1-10 pain scale to an 8 with medication, my hand and the rest had almost returned to somewhat normal over several months.

When I can type again, I started a transcription course. I was doing that for about 4 months when my migraine decided it was going to be bad again and not work with my medicine. And my right hand got non-functional again. Some more trial and error, found a new medicine that lessens my migraine. Right when I was supposed to start physical therapy on my hand Covid happened. Therapy never happened but my hand is mostly useful for everyday use, but fine-motor skill tasks are still challenging. Like typing.

My typing ability is why I haven't gone back to my course, and why I'm not captioning anymore. My right hand is able to type on computer keyboard, it took time to get there, but I can. The problem is, is that my right hand is delayed at the typing speed my right hand is used to typing at. This causes words to be typed rearranged. For example: SPRING AWAKENING, typed on the computer comes out as Srping Awaekening.

Despite this typing issue, 8 months ago I did caption the dwsa reunion interview at Gallaudet. It took me a WHOLE lot longer than it used too, but I did get it done. But 6 months ago when when Sandra did an interview alone at Gallaudet I had been stressed from stuff in my family and my head briefly got bad again (no worse hand issues, just migraine) for about a month. But at this point I still haven't captioned it. My right hand is still delayed.

For 2021, I've started new ventures. I've been focusing on my art. My art was something that I worked on in days I couldn't leave my darkened bedroom. My art style changes depending on my my head or hand let's me do, whether it's: painting, drawing, or photography. At some point soon I want to sell some of it.

This is not self promotion follow me if you want (I know someone will ask): @/13mtm80_Designs on all the social media platforms that I already have (Facebook, Twitter Instagram, Tumblr).

Also in 2021, I did have Covid. But not when you asked (that was migraine sickness). I had Covid about a month ago. Caught it from someone in my house, all three of us had mild symptoms. It lasted the average mild length of 2 weeks. I'm fine now though.

So, yes I'm still apart of the dwsa fandom and I'm going to try and reacquaint myself back into my 13mtm80 accounts. All the apps are still on my phone. It's just recently when I've been on them I was on my other account.

I'll try to be more involved on social media, though I don't know if I will be able to do any more captioning.

~ Mackenzie

[sillyteecup]

Sunflower

Scott McCall x black!reader

Warnings:

Mentions of death

Death

Literally one mention of sex

And my bad writing. Enjoy❤

Sunflower

Sunflower

My Eyes

Want you more than a melody

Let me inside

Wish I could get to know you

Scott's breakup with Allison had been tough and he had no plans to move on anytime soon. He found himself intrigued with the new dark chestnut skinned girl with the rich afro tied up into two huge puffs with sunflowers in them. She wore a short sleeved, lemon and white stripped button up shirt with a lemon rouched tank, long paperbag jeans with yellow sunflowers on the left pantleg, silver framed reading glasses and lemon and white custom Nikes. Scott approached her and sat across from her with the intention of being friends with her. For a second he watched in adoration as she smiled at the whatever she had just written before clearing his throat to catch her attention.

Sunflowers

Sometimes

Keep it sweet in your memory

I was just tongue tied

She looked up him, her eyes questioned Scott and he knew what they wanted to know. He would've answered much quicker if he didn't get lost in the hazel orbs that gazed at him at that moment. "Uhh..." she said snapping him out of his thoughts. "Oh uhm my name is Scott. McCall, captain of the lacrosse team," he mumbled. "Okay. Can I help you Scott McCall, captain of the lacrosse team?" she asked with an inquisitive eyebrow raised. "Uhm I noticed that I haven't seen you before and a friend of mine told me that you're new, so uhm you-uh wanna be uhm friends?" Scott mentally facepalmed himself for stumbling over his words so hard. 'Nice going McCall, she probably thinks you're a dork now,' he chastised himself. She giggled softly and Scott swore he had never heard anything as beautiful in his life. "Name's Y/N. Sure. We can be friends." He let out a sigh of relief and chuckled before diving into conversation with her.

And I dont wanna make you feel bad

But I've been trying hard not to talk to you

My sunflower (sunflower)

He introduced her to his pa-friends and they loved her instantly. Well Stiles was a little wary at first but he grew to like her too. She and Scott had a lot in common and became really close, hell she was giving Stiles a run for his money in the best friend department. Her favourite thing in the world was sunflowers. His favourite thing in the world was her. Scott always saw her as soft and fragile and he found himself falling for her, so he kept her away from all the supernatural drama by not telling her at all. He felt bad for keeping such a huge secret from her but he also felt better because he was protecting her. Little did he know that he wasn't the only one keeping secrets.

I couldn't want you anymore

Kiss in the kitchen like its a dance floor

I couldn't want you anymore tonight (tonight, tonight)

It was the night when the music teacher was killed. Scott ran to look for Lydia and told you to stay behind but her stubborn ass wasn't having it. He was fighting Jennifer Blake when Y/N ran into the room. "Y/N get out!" he yelled through a mouth full of canines. "Scott," she gasped. Everything after that was a blurr. Jennifer had thrown Scott into a table and stalked towards Y/N like she was some kind of prey. Scott tried with all his strength to get up but he was just too weak. He kept yelling for Jennifer not to hurt Y/N to no avail. Imagine his suprise when Y/N began to move at inhuman speed as she fought Jennifer. She fought long and hard but in the end she fell to her knees with a knife in her abdomen. Scott ran to her through his weak state. Everything around him shut down, all he could do was focus on her heartbeat as it slowed. He pleaded for her to stay with him as he held her. "I love you Y/N. Please. Don't," he sobbed. "Relax Scott I'm not dying," she groaned as she pulled the knife out. Everyone around them watched in awe as the wound underneath the grey t-shirt healed. They started flooding her with question after question, but not Scott. He just had one question. "What are you?" "I could ask you the same thing," she chuckled. "I'm a werewolf. What about you?" he asked. "Werewolf," she said as she flashed her eyes golden. "I love you too," she whispered as she pulled him into a passionate kiss.

Wondering headshake

Tired eyes are the death of me

Mouth full of toothpaste

Before I got to know you

It wasn't long before they actually got together. Nothing much had changed though, other than the kissing and sex. And as much as she was a great fighter, she was still his little sunflower. She stuck with him through everything. She was there when he became a True alpha, she was there when he, Stiles and Allison had to get rid of their darkness, she was there when Stiles was possessed and she was there, in his room, holding him as he cried in her arms hours after Allison died in his. Y/N didn't cry that night. She just wasn't the type to. Intead she was unusually quiet. "I should give you some space," she said as she got up to leave. "No. Stay. Please," he whispered.

I've got your face

Hung up high in the gallery

Out of this shade (sunflower, sunflower)

There was one instant where Y/N was jealous. Kira. Scott was jusy far too friendly with her and it made Y/N feel insecure. Maybe he liked Kira more than her. She came up with several reasons why: her hair, her skin, her body, her face. Kira was just better than her and it tore her apart. She wasn't mean to Kira about it though. How could anyone be? She's a whole ray of sunshine. Another reason for Scott to like her more. She started cancelling dates and plans because of it. She never cried about it though. She never told Scott she had anxiety because she didn't wanna seem like she was burdening or anything. At some point she stopped answering his calls and texts, and avoiding him all together. Not because she didn't love him anymore. But because she was afraid he didn't love her anymore. Oh how wrong she was. One afternoon as she was getting into her car, she felt someone gently grab her wrist and turn her around. "Y/N talk to me. You haven't been responding to my texts or calls. Are you okay? Have I done something wrong? If I have, how do I fix it?" he rambled. "You...I...I dont know," she whispered. "I'm sorry," he said, tears welling up in his eyes. "No! Its not your fault. I just got a little insecure," she reassured him. "Of Kira," she added quietly. He didn't say anything for 5 seconds before pulling her into a soft, loving kiss. "I love you." And he did. Hell so did she. She loved him more than sunflowers.

Your flowers just died

Plant new seeds in the mellody

Let me inside

I wanna get to know you

I don't wanna make you feel bad but I've been trying hard not to act a fool

My sunflower (sunflower, sunflower)

Y/N had only ever cried once in her life since she turned 5. "Scott! Scott no! NO! Mason who did this!" she screamed as she ran towards the stairs. She had an entire emotional breakdown at the sight of the lifeless corpse of the love of her life as Melissa tried her best to revive him. She would've helped if she had the strength but she didn't. Just the thought of living without Scott shattered her. Mason tried to comfort her but it was just all too much for her. The emotion was far too overwhelming and had come down on her harder than a tsunami on a single sunflower.

I couldn't want you anymore

Kiss in the kitchen like its a dancefloor

I couldn't want you more tonight (tonight, tonight)

I couldn't want you anymore

Kids in the kitchen, listen to dancehall

I couldn't want you anymore tonight

As if the heavens had heard her cries, Scott roared. His alpha eyes went back to brown immediately when he caught the sight of Y/N crying in Mason's arms. "Y/N," he said as he reached out to touch her. "I'm not ready to lose you," she said softly. He wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. She cleaned his wounds and stayed with him until they healed. She was a little bitter towards the rest of the pack except for Mason, Lydia and Kira because they didnt abandon him. The latter were victims of circumstance. Stiles and Liam on the other hand, she couldn't stand them. She never spoke to them until the end of the Theo Raeken/Lu Bête saga. And even then, it wasn't like she was extra friendly. She spoke to them because she had to. Scott wasn't mad at them though, he was okay as long as his sunflower was okay.

Sunflower

My eyes

Want you more than a melody

Let me inside

Wish I could get to know you

The rest of senior year came and went with thw Ghost rider saga. She was actually pretty glad to have Stiles back. Then came college. Y/N was supposed to leave for New York when strange animal occurrences got in the way. "How the hell is any of this more important than my college education?" she groaned as Scott, Malia and Lydia tried to talk her out of leaving. "It could mean that everyone's in danger," Lydia sighed. "Liam and his friends can handle it. Babe you're supposed to be headed for UC Davis. Malia, France! Lydia, MIT awaits you and I gotta go to Julliard," she yelled. "Come on. Please, its just a week," Scott said as his hands made their way to her waist. "Fine." A week turned a gruesome month, battling with something that uses your fears against you called the Anuk-ite. A week turned into a gruesome month of war with Tamora Monroe and her merry band of "hunters", aided by Gerard Argent. A whole month of death. But just like every battle they fought, they emerged victorious. She had just kissed Scott to help heal his eyes when she collapsed to her knees. Blood began pouring from her mouth as Scott rushed to her side. He began searching for the wound like a madman, hoping he could heal it. "Scott, baby. Its okay," she whispered. "No, no no," he mumbled after finding the bullet wound in her side. She had been shot with yellow wolfsbane and it was too late. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked barely over a whisper. "We were too busy fighting to keep everyone else safe," she said with a proud smile. He cradled her body and sobbed. "Hey. You know sunflowers die right?" she chuckled softly. That's when Scott realized something. She was wearing the exact same outfit she wore when they met. Only this time her hair was tied into one ponytail. The sunflowers were replaced with sunflower clips. "I love you. I always have and I-I always will," she whispered feeling herself getting weaker. "I love you too. More than anything in the world," Scott sobbed. "Promise me you'll go on and be happy. Get married, have kids or not. Just be happy," she said with a smile. Everyone else was a crying mess. He listened as her heartbeat got slower and more silent. Her last petal fell and she went limp in Scott's arms. He begged her to come back between chokef cries, but deep down he knew that she was gone. For good.

Sunflower just died

Keep it sweet in your memory

I'm still tongue-tied

Sunflower, sunflower

Sunflower, sunflower

Sunflower, sunflower

"And that was Sunflower vol.6 by Harry Styles from his latest album Fine Line. Great song, makes me wanna grab my girlfriend and dance," the radio presenter said. Scott turned the radio in Argent's car down as they got closer to the pack. The song started playing after he told Alec his and his pack's story and he couldn't help but let his mind wander. He knew how much Y/N would've adored the song if she were still alive. Two years without her and he still felt like a part of him was missing, but he didn't let it stop him from fighting the war. Her last wish was for him to be happy and he couldn't help but think about how the end of the war would not only make him the happiest man alive. But it would also make her smile proudly at him from her sunflower garden in heaven. That would send him over the moon. God, how he missed her. They pulled over in the parking lot where the pack agreed to meet up, and Scott couldn't help but smile at his pack. They supported him through thick and thin and stuck together because they knew how you got when they didn't. "What are you thinking about?" Alec asked. "How the death of a sunflower can come with the growth of an entire garden," Scott replied as he made his way to the pack with a proud grin.

[tenacityblitz]

all the numbers u haven't done

roleplaying habits questions.

1. what’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

Offhand I can’t really think of anything?? English is my first language so I don’t knowingly break any grammar rules anyway. Unless possible excessive use of commas counts bc I use commas a lot.

2. are there any languages besides english in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

Unless Gibberish counts bc I learned that stupid crack language back when I was a kid but good lord I would not have the patience to actually type out a reply like that. 

3. how often do you reach for a synonym dictionary when writing? how about mentally?

Sometimes but not too frequently. Depends on how flowery I’m trying to write something or if I’m thinking of a word but I don’t like the first descriptive word that came to mind for what I’m trying to express.

4. how often do you need to translate your own or the other’s writing with a dictionary or google when writing and reading replies?

Never tbh. Especially since I don’t RP in any other languages, all my RP partners have a good enough grasp on English that I can always tell what they were at least trying to say in their reply.

5. do you listen to music while your write?

I used to need music playing in the background to help me focus on doing drafts, but nowadays I need more silence than anything to help focus and produce what I think is a quality response to a longer thread. Short one or two liner things idc what’s in the background. 

6. do you have ideal writing circumstances when you can do a lot of drafts or tackle really long ones very easily?

I can fluctuate with when I best write. Typically I write better at night when the house is quiet and any noise happening in the house is a noise I make, but I’ve had writing inspiration hit me at any time of the day before.

7. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

Bold of you to assume I’m awake during morning hours that don’t include 5 AM bc I’m still awake haha. When I’m not swamped with commissions to do I typically write better during the day or at night when I’m the only person awake in the house and I don’t have any outside distractions from a person IRL.

8. how does tiredness affect your writing?

Not overly so sometimes, I know there’ve been times in the past where I powered through replies even though I wanted to go to bed just because I was riding the motivation train and I didn’t want to lose it and not get to those last replies for who knows how long. But on Discord at least I often have reply to Discord threads be one of the last things I do before I go to sleep so I go to bed knowing I don’t owe anyone a reply on there.

9. have you ever written a serious reply intoxicated?

Not a serious reply anyway. I’ve been on the dashboard before while intoxicated (ColossalCon East was a prime example haha) but I’ve never really RP’d while that intoxicated

10. how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?

I’ll proof read as I go but also give it one last read before I actually hit publish.

11. when you are writing a reply, how much ahead in the thread do you plan?

Entirely depends on the thread. I could write it on the fly or I could have days to think about it from external factors keeping me from getting to the reply as soon as it comes back to me.

12. is there ever been a time when you’ve had to drop a roleplaying partner because you’ve found their writing style exhausting?

Yes actually, gather round for RP horror storytime haha. Flash back to 2013 while I was still in the Black Butler fandom. I stupidly decided to give writing Sebastian a try at the request of a Ciel I’d made friends with (probably through my old Alois or Lizzie blog). She was a nice enough girl, close enough to my age so she seemed plenty mature, and had been what I thought was a good enough writer to warrant trying my hand at a muse I wouldn’t have otherwise thought to try. Legit within days of me making the Sebastian blog she was getting super clingy in her IC posts making Ciel a whiny baby missing Sebastian, would try and guilt me in IC posts to get on and write with her, and I dealt with it for about two weeks before I deleted Sebastian’s blog without warning and deleted the girl off Skype. To this day it’s the only blog I think I’ve ever consciously deleted.

13. does writing roleplay things in public spaces make you uncomfortable?

Not really? I wouldn’t be crazy about a stranger reading over my shoulder while I was writing bc that’s just weird, but I’ve gone to Starbucks or one of the local malls before on my off days (back when I was still at my last job) and I’d do RP stuff there just to get out of the house.

14. how often do you need to change the icon in your reply while or after writing the reply?

Typically I don’t put in icons until I’m done writing the reply unless I go into the reply knowing exactly which one I want to use, or think of a good one while I’m writing it out.

15. do you first get in the “zone” when writing, or do you start writing and “enter” it that way?

Nowadays I just start writing and then get into the zone after I get the first reply done. Discord replies I can chug out any time of day without difficulty, but for whatever reason Tumblr I have to be in the right mindset for. 

16. what is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

Back when I was at my last job, it would be getting a lot of writing muse while I was busy at work and unable to get on my own laptop or sneak onto Tumblr on an office computer and at least type out the bulk of a reply (yes I was employee of the month many times haha), and by the time I was able to get to my own computer or be safe enough to get on a work computer, that writing muse would be gone.

17. what’s your inbox count currently? what did you do to get it so high/low?

Right now I have 15 IC asks. I won’t lie, two of them are from last years Valentine’s Day bc I was away at Katsucon at the time of receiving them and by the time I got home I still just never got around to answering the asks, but I didn’t want to delete them either so I just kept them for posterity. Some are from this past Christmas that I was terrible and haven’t answered yet bc I’ve been so swamped with commissions, some are from other random meme’s I’ve reblogged and gotten an ask or two for and also just never got around to. I’m horrible at replying to asks most of the time and I know it but I always appreciate whenever people take the time to send me an IC one.

18. how many drafts is a paralysing amount?

I’d guess I’d say over 15 like para thread replies would make me be like -insert meme song- ‘how could this happen to meeeee’. I’m not quite at that point yet but I’ll get there eventually if I’m not careful lol.

19. if you are writing a wrong reply that’s not working out, do you save what you have to be continued at another date, or do you scrap it and rewrite?

Usually I would just draft what I have and go back to it. I can’t remember the last time I scrapepd an unfinished draft and completely rewrote it.

20. longest reply you’ve ever writen on mobile?

N/A because I don’t do replies on mobile. I’ll send asks on mobile but I never reply to actual IC things while on my phone unless it’s something stupid and cracky or one-liner-ish.

21. does the total amount of threads you have going on matter to you, or just how many you owe?

Doesn’t really matter. I can have one thread with one person, I could have five threads with one person. @shinvcho is an example of the latter lol

22. what’s your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?

I’ve kept to the same formatting for years and years tbh. I’m too lazy to do excessive formatting beyond italicizing and/or bolding specific words for emphasis and spacing out the start of a new paragraph. Anything more than that to me is just tedious and unnecessary; I don’t want to make it difficult for my partners to read.

23. how does your follower count affect your mood?

Anyone who says they don’t appreciate or enjoy even a small spike in followers is a liar, because we live in an age where validation is held in high regard and it feels good to get the validation of seeing more people enjoy what we do on our blogs enough to put us on their dashboards. But it also doesn’t really matter to me when I lose followers because I have a mutual checker so I can unfollow a mutual back if they did so first so I don’t feel uncomfy still following someone who no longer wanted me on their dash lol.