#and have generally ordered a bunch more things that I needed but with specific accessibility requirements
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friends, I have treated myself to a tefal food chopper
#and have generally ordered a bunch more things that I needed but with specific accessibility requirements#a laundry bag with both wheels and a handle#a little bin with a removable section for recucling#a 52 (?!) piece dinnerware set made of not plastic but something to do with wheat????? because I hate ceramic plates#I was going to get a greentainer set but this was £10 cheaper and also has straws and portable cutlery sets and - fruit forks????? why#(but useful for me)#i am going to live a god damn Accessible Life#and i even found a cheap ass kettle with variable temperatures that’s from a reputable brand and not just a random eBay seller#i am meeting all of my needs and i will thrive#this will all be worth it when i have my koi lampshade#THIS 👏🏽 WILL ALL 👏🏽 BE WORTH IT 👏🏽 WHEN I HAVE 👏🏽 MY KOI 👏🏽 LAMPSHADE 👏🏽
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I am finally putting together a FAQ for easy access for people new to my blog since a lot of these posts I think are helpful are buried. Some of these links link to posts on my blog, but some link to my personal website. My website is not monetized in any way, so there should be no ads or anything intrusive.
About Coping
How can I make a self-care box?
Here's some instructions I wrote!
How can I make a safe space?
Here are some ideas!
What are some ways I can ground myself?
Here is an article with a bunch of examples, but there are so many more that aren't listed here!
I'm struggling with trauma around the holidays and/or a traumaversary.
Here's an article I wrote on trauma around the holidays!
Here's an article I wrote with advice for traumaversaries.
General Trauma FAQ
Do I have to forgive them in order to heal?
The short answer is "no." What everyone needs differs. While someone may need to forgive as a part of their healing journey, this isn't necessarily true for everyone. Here's a post I wrote about this.
What about myself? Should I forgive myself?
That's up to you. For some of us, healing is realizing we never needed forgiveness all along. And for others, it can mean that we can't get to a place where we feel we did nothing wrong, and therefore, forgiving ourselves is the best way to move forward. Here's an article I wrote on self-forgiveness.
What is trauma bonding?
This term is often used in a colloquial sense when two people who have suffered trauma bond together over their trauma. This article talks about the technical definition and is about how someone going through trauma forms an emotional bond with the one who is traumatizing or abusing them.
Was it bad enough?
The short answer is yes. But you can read a longer blog post for why here.
I'm struggling with anger after trauma.
That's a really valid way to feel. Here is some more info on it.
What is hypersexuality and/or sex repulsion?
See this article here.
What is Trauma Imposter Syndrome?
This is when a survivor invalidates themselves by saying something like “my trauma isn’t so bad, other people have it worse than me.” Here's my post on it.
How do I talk about my trauma?
First, remember that you do not have to talk about anything you don't want to. But if you do, here are some tips I have.
How do I listen to someone talk about their trauma?
The first thing I want you to remember, when someone tells you that they want to talk to you about their trauma, is that their needs do not negate your own needs. Here's my post on it.
Is Healing Linear?
No. Healing is a rollercoaster. Here's a post on it.
About Abuse and Specific Forms of Trauma
What are some different types of abuse?
Physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, cultural abuse. You can read more about these here.
What is Medical Trauma?
It is a vast term that includes many different things, mostly linked to major emotional distress that occurs as a result of hospital stays, illness, or treatment (so yes, therapy trauma is valid.) You can see my longer article here.
What is Parentification?
Parentification is a form of abuse where a child is forced to take on the role of a parent. You can see my longer article here.
Why do I love and/or miss my abuser?
Nothing is wrong with you if you love and/or miss your abuser. There are any number of reasons why you could be feeling this way, and I will share some examples with you. You can see my article on this here!
Other
Are they trying to manipulate me?
While there isn't a clear cut guide, some of the points in this article might help you in getting more information about one of your relationships.
What is consent?
Consent is a freely-given yes. See this post here.
How can I be prepared for sex?
See this post here.
I also wrote this article that covers the same points as the first post, but focuses from a trauma perspective. A lot of the info is the same.
Why is it important to validate my feelings?
See this post here.
I'm struggling with self-harm/What is self-harm?
Here's a post on this.
#my post#faq#this is a work in progress and i will keep updating it#if you've seen a post of mine you think should be on here#let me know
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what are some of your favorite nonfiction podcasts?
the big one I recommend is just king things - two marxist academics go through the books of Stephen King in publication order. extremely funny and insightful podcast, very accessible (like this is not a theory podcast or anything, it’s very laid back and casual), and I really appreciate their approach to literary criticism.
game studies study buddies is by the same hosts as just king things but this is a theory podcast. Each episode they go over and discuss a book from the field of game studies (ie the academic study of games). I very much recommend you listen to this if you want to like passively absorb critical/leftist theory. The hosts are academics, one of which teaches about games regularly as a professor, so it kind of feels like someone is teaching you about a text. I find it fairly accessible, I learn a lot about games, and as I said they very frequently structure their discussions with left wing theory. I find them very insightful!
blowback is very good, it’s about the imperial history of the United States. a history/journalist type podcast. this can get extremely heavy and difficult to listen to given the subject matter so I would not binge this (I usually listen to it when I’m doing a physical activity) but it’s a really good source of historical information and has helped me develop my political understanding of modern western imperial history. each season covers a different event: S1 is the invasion of Iraq, S2 is the Cuban Revolution, S3 is the Korean War, S4 is the invasion of Afghanistan
ALAB (all lawyers are bad) is good with some caveats. It’s a podcast by a bunch of lawyers who spend a lot of time on twitter discussing how horrible lawyers are, usually either focusing on specific high-profile lawyers (Kavanaugh, Dershowitz), specific american legal regimes (anti-BDS legislation, sanction law, etc), or specific trends in the legal system that causes structural problems (eg lifetime judgeship appointments with no mandatory retirement age). They also sometimes do random funny lawsuits or cover legal responses to events like Jan 6th. A mixed bag in terms of focus but mostly it’s hating on American law and the legal system. This is a critical recommendation because it’s a bunch of lawyers dudes riffing and some of their analysis can be stupid/bad, they say stupid shit that comes off as “anti identity politics” at times, etc. I’m pulling from memory because it’s been a while since I listened to them so I’m sorry if this is overly vague/general. The best way to describe it is chapo-adjacent if that means anything to you lol
and finally the podcast knowledge fight. this is a podcast dedicated to covering and debunking Alex Jones. in all honesty I don’t find this podcast super valuable in terms of analysis, like they are only really focused on debunking the claims Jones makes and explaining why they’re factually wrong. Which like that’s a good thing to do, I’m not saying its bad, but I don’t really need to be convinced Jones is lying about everything lol so I don’t personally find it super useful/insightful. If you have to interact with Alex Jones fans regularly (like family members) then maybe that will be more valuable for you! Totally depends. however the reason I bring them up is because I DO recommend the series of episodes they have titled formulaic objections - in this series they go through all the deposition material from the sandy hook lawsuit against Alex Jones (the one that cost him a billion dollars in damages and court sanctions lol). They play clips of the depositions throughout these episodes, which are so fucking insane to listen to. Like listening to a bunch of employees of an insane fringe right wing media organisation being questioned by lawyers for hours on end is so entertaining lmao. This lawsuit is about the sandy hook school shooting so a warning about the subject matter, it can get dark at times, but on the whole it’s extremely fucking funny to listen to. And the hosts provide a lot of context for what’s going on in the lawsuit, talk about it, and also they debunk the shit Jones lies about in court that you may not know about, so I find that part of it really good.
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Local European law PhD person is breaking down why Twitter is in trouble with European authorities - bc we live in a dystopia and I am procrastinating my research.
TL;DR : Twitter is loosing all the experts required to actually make (good, but really any) decisions regarding data privacy in Europe, and it's even funnier because they picked the one(1) European country that would give them the most tax cut but it's also the one that is really into dragging Big Tech all the way to the highest instances in the EU to make knock them down a peg.
But also more under the cut bc this is hilarious and I CANNOT WAIT for Elon Musk to discover the EU. Very much going to be a unstoppable force meets unmovable object situation, because trust me, TRUST ME, there are few things as slow, inhert and full of bureaucrats who are NOT on twitter as the EU. Anyway here is too many paragraph of me putting my diploma to good use or something, my Masters Director would be proud.
Step 1: TF is the GDPR, like, actually.
Ok the the General Directive on Privacy Regulation is a European Union Regulation, which sets clear rule on what you can and cannot do with people's information/data, in order to protect their privacy. It is very wide and very cool and the US wishes it had it (Except you, California, you're doing great).
And what's cool is also that the moment you want your digital services to be available on European territory, you need to comply with the GDPR. Doesn't matter where you are based, if it's not GDPR compliant, you don't get access to that sweet sweet European market.
For example, after the GDPR was entered into force, there were a bunch of US News Media website I could not access, because they were not complying with the GDPR yet, and were not willing to take the risk to infringe on the GDPR. Doesn't matter if they are not Europe based. What matters is the market. Dw they are fine now.
Ok, cool.
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Step 2: Twitter was doing ok so far - I know, I'm surprised as well.
So Twitter is a US-based company, but blue-bird had to comply with the GDPR like everyone else. So far, so good-ish, and by that I mean that Twitter was not really targeted by any European or national authority for not complying.
But let me tell you the thing about the GDPR: it is. a. mess. Getting to UNDERSTAND what's even required guaranteed my cohort of European Law major that we would ALL be employed in the upcoming years. It is atrociously difficult. THE REGULATION HAS ITS OWN WEBSITE imagine a law having its own website, what the hell honestly.
The GDPR is challenging for your local true crime book club handling the email addresses of its 12 members, ok.
IMAGINE WHAT IT'S LIKE FOR TWITTER.
Behemoth social media platforms require a massive amount of workforce and expertise to make sure they comply with the GDPR. Like, I cannot stress the absurd amount of work and constant vigilance it requires. But they were doing ok.
.
Step 3: Elon Musk is an authoritarian manchild and Twitter is bleeding experts
I know both things are related but trust me, it's important to mention them separately, you'll see in a second.
Among the many high-ranking people who left, we have:
The Chief Information Security Officer
The Chief Privacy Officer / Data Protection Officier
The Chief Compliance Officer (unconfirmed officially but I would bet on it)
So they are trying to do some emergency creative problem solving by apparently having data engineers be the ones certifying compliance with the GDPR (lmao as someone who works with a bunch of data scientist I would pay money to see that happening) and nominate people to temporarily take over all these positions. To be transparent the guy they nominated as "acting GPO" (lmao I'm really feeling the confidence right now) does not seem fully incompetent, but this is still hilarious.
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Step 4: Haha it's funny because it's Ireland
Now, ok, here is the kicker.
Twitter so far has been using a system that the GDPR allows, which is the One-Stop Shop. OSS means that Twitter picked the authorities of a specific EU State to report to, when it comes to compliance to the GDPR, it's easier for everyone than massive online companies like Twitter going to 27 different states to report what they are doing.
So they picked Ireland, because their European headquarters are based in Ireland.
HA.
I. WONDER. WHY. IRELAND???
(spoiler: it's because Ireland is a tax haven).
Now. You might think there is ONE problem on the table, but get ready, there are TWO, baby.
Haha Twitter's GDPR person has left, mate, you want to explain how you're going to comply with the GDPR when you don't have you GDPR experts anymore??
Elon Musk is, as stated before, an authoritarian manchild and the GDPR is also not super super fond of that, mate if you want the OSS system you actually need to give minimal guarantee that the data-privacy-decision-making is happening in the State of the OSS. When clearly, right now, decisions are happening wherever the hell Elon Musk decided to have his morning protein shake, and I'm pretty sure it's not Dublin. And also around 50% of the Dublin headquarters have been fired, so I don't know who is supposed to take decisions over there, honestly.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S EVEN FUNNIER.
IRISH COURTS IS REALLY. REALLY INTO EU LAW AND EU DATA PRIVACY
Like the case about the guy who sued Facebook for violating the right to privacy in the way it handled data? It's the Maximillian Schrems v Data Protection Commissioner case, and it comes from Ireland. Irish Judges had no issue being like "Yeah, Facebook or not, we're choosing violence".
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Step 5: Ok now what ? Aka I sit back and grab some popcorn
So right now, Twitter is trying to convince the DPC that it's totally absolutely doing GREAT.
Sure Jan.
Anyway, the question is whether the DPC is willing to buy it. We know there has been meetings, and the DPC is at least putting SOME form of pressure on Twitter.
Outcome 1: the DPC is feeling petty and does NOT buy it. Then I'll write another post, but I think the DPC would give Twitter some time to put things in order and give enough guarantees before going on the offensive.
Outcome 2: the DPC buys it (because Dublin LOVES its Big Tech companies, and they are driving prices up to the point where Dublin is experiencing a massive housing crisis, it's fine, this is fine) . And we wait for an individual/NGO to bring a formal complain to the DPC, for the DPC to refuse it, and for the individual/NGO to challenge that decision before the Irish Courts and that becomes a whole new story that will warrant its own post - and I get to show off some useless knowledge on EU procedural law.
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Tired of people going 'all goth fashion is super easy to diy and everyone should do that instead' because like... yes a lot of it is but some very much not. So some thoughts on how much I'd recommend diying various goth fashion stuff as someone who does a lot of it:
Simple jewellery is definitely much better to diy and particularly chains and stuff. I remember going to dangerfield one time and they had a chain with a bat ornament on in for 20 dollars 🤣 ... you can get a bunch of chain from the hardware store pretty cheaply and the exact same bat pendant on it I had got like 20 off etsy for 5 dollars. It usually doesn't take that long and extra tools e.g. pliers are helpful but not necessary - 10/10 absolutely recommend for all goths or other people interested in gothic fashion
Same thing goes for distressed clothing/fishnet shirts there are tons of tutorials for that kind of stuff, and it generally doesn't require that much time, experience or materials 10/10
Minor clothing modifications e.g. some tailoring, adding/removing parts, mending damaged old clothing, changing buttons - this is something that is really useful in everyday life, usually doesn't take that long and is very useful for turning normal clothing into more spooky stuff 9/10
Designs on clothes or patches: if you get some fabric paint, screen printing ink, bleach or even acrylic you can paint designs onto clothing pretty easily. Personally I like dilute screen printing ink as it gives the nicest surface, but it can be a bit of a pain to use as you have to do a lot of layers, and it doesn't colour the fabric intuitively in the way that fabric paint or acrylic do 8/10 - would recommend very strongly to anyone who enjoys art, and recommend trying at least once to people who don't enjoy art as much (you can always make stencils), but it does take a long time and you need some materials. Also, for patches particularly for small bands it can be better to order them from the band to support the artist, but also lots of bands don't have patches or merch or international shipping to some countries makes it not accessible
Embroidery: often looks really good and professional in a way that painted designs don't, takes absolutely ages. 7/10 - would recommend very highly for people who enjoy textile stuff and maybe trying a bit for everyone but yeah if you don't enjoy it it's a pain
Smaller articles of clothing: I've made some waistcoats and shirts and stuff which have been pretty fun and it's really good to be able to do specific designs you wouldn't be able to buy (e.g. my skeleton one) and get stuff to fit right. They were all hand sewn and took a pretty long time (however you can also do it while listening to online classes or whatever), + a bit of time to learn techniques and stuff. Definitely a cheaper than buying them 6.5/10 - do it if you enjoy textile art stuff but will probably be a really painful experience if you don't and you're hand sewing. Also useful if you've got sizing or dimensions that mean you just... can't buy stuff that'll fit which is how I got into sewing
More complex sewing: I've made 2 (well, finished one and 98% of the way through another) long spooky coats and one cape with really complicated edges and embroidery and stuff. Coat 1 was entirely by hand out of not great fabric and took absolutely ages but was definitely vastly cheaper than buying it from the store, and it fit well and everything. With the cape, I got repetitive strain injury in my thumb that still is a bit of a problem 3 years later! With the final coat it was mostly by machine and then touching some stuff up by hand e.g. edges of the lining, making the eyelets and stuff, but it still took ages. Also, something I never see people talking about with diy goth clothing is how hard it is to get the materials - there were only 3 black brocade fabrics available in my city - One was really bad quality and I tried to make a shirt out of it, but it kept falling apart. One was 150 dollars a meter. The one I ended up using was really nice and reasonably priced, but I got the last 2.5 meters of it so it almost wasn't an option. So when people talk about diying clothing being cheaper it can actually not be that much because a clothing business can get fabrics in bulk + unless your city is really big there are probably not many options, so there's also shipping costs if you then need to order fabric. Out of curiosity I compared how much the coat cost in terms of materials to the price of a similar looking coat off dracula clothing which is a pretty well known and apparently quality materials and ethically made goth fashion shop and it came out a bit cheaper but not massively so (not counting shipping...) so 3.5/10 - fun to do if you enjoy textile art as a hobby, not even vaguely a practical alternative to buying a coat
And then there's other stuff like more complicated jewellery making and leather work which idk much about
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The Jedi Order: a different view
From what I can tell the overwhelming majority of fannish content regarding the Jedi, their Order, and their Temple, relies solely on content from the now-discontinued Legends.
I understand the urge since it gives fans a veritable feast of trauma and whump for Obi-Wan and can help underscore the belief that Anakin was a misunderstood, maligned pariah who was never good enough for anyone in the Order.
However. It does get a little... tiresome after a while. Oh, people do some incredible and cool things to try and "fix" the Order, but they still start with the belief that the Order needs fixing. I wanted to ignore all that and start fresh.
Right! So! I'll focus on the Jedi on Coruscant, since they're the most relevant to the picture. I'll also start with the Temple itself, since it IS where everyone lives.
THE TEMPLE
The Temple was founded millennia ago and has been building on ever since in an effort to keep up with the growth of the city around them. I'd be tempted to base that at ground level, or the nearest equivalent. Given how high up Coruscant has now become, that implies layers upon layers upon layers, and of course they aren't going to add one level at a time, it'll be multiples.
I would absolutely love to see some archaeology-focused stuff. Jedi explorers delving deeper and deeper into the Temple's depths, discovering lost and forgotten histories, artifacts, art, books, etc. And also notes from previous Jedi archaeologists who also delved down.
With that in mind I've decided that the "Room of a Thousand Fountains" is a vast misnomer. The Temple Gardens extend downward, encompassing previous Gardens and lovingly maintained not only by the Agricorp (who aren't limited to just crops), but also bunches of Jedi, outside gardeners, and of course specialists for the different regions/biomes. There are plants in the Temple that have gone extinct everywhere else in the universe (credit to RoosjeM's Temporary Temple Guards for making me think of this possibility).
The point is, the Gardens are ENORMOUS. There are fixes and workarounds for the issues of sunlight, and I imagine there's a water reclamation/sanitation/whatever system in place to make sure everything (and everyone) stays as hydrated as necessary. I betcha there are secret depths to the Archives, too. Maybe museums full of ancient starships that regrettably had to be walled up whenever the surrounding city got too tall.
Jedi come from nearly every sapient species imaginable, and some of them have specific environmental needs. I know I've seen plenty of fics where Plo Koon's quarters are specially sealed so he can breathe his homeworld's atmosphere and not need to worry about goggles and an anti-ox mask. I think it'd be more interesting if there were entire sections dedicated to (or easily converted to) different atmospheres. This is easier and a lot more convenient when, say, there are multiples of a species in the Temple. Sure, individual room conversions can be done, too, but having a whole mini "neighborhood" of your fellow [species] can be nice as well. Walk freely. Chat with neighbors unencumbered. Enjoy meals together. Communal stuff like that.
I also love the idea of water-filled corridors for the aquatic types. Like that one comic panel that showed naked Kit Fisto happily swimming by on his way to somewhere else. Maybe an underwater training salle so the aquatics can learn how to fight/use their sabers in those conditions.
Dining areas would also be spread throughout the Temple, with some being "generic" fare to feed a wide variety of the most common species and others having a more specific focus, both in terms of species and cuisine types. Open-access kitchen areas for those who want to cook their own food, but not in their own kitchen (MUCH better ventilation in the public spaces, for starters). Also vending machines and automats for those on the go. (This shows up in K_R_Closson's All the Roads We Walk Are Winding and was goddamn genius.)
THE JEDI
In my version of things, the Jedi are much more considerate than fandom generally depicts.
A Jedi can never "age out." While allowances can be made if someone with basic control skills wants to leave, or if they want to find their own path when they reach their species level of majority, no one is ever forced onto the streets or "dumped" into a place not of their own choosing.
When an Initiate enters the Temple the biggest themes they are taught are "Community" and "Choice." Community means that they will always have a home in the Temple, no matter what. They can leave and come back if they choose. There are no legitimate mistakes that can get you thrown out. Failing a class, or multiple classes, doesn't mean you don't belong, it means that you need a more tailored learning experience to help you reach your goals.
Starting at an early age, crèche clans are taken on a "tour" of the various service branches; each one maintains a presence within the Temple itself, not only to maintain connections with the Jedi as a whole, but also to make communicating their needs (to the Jedi, to the Senate, to various interests) easier. And there is always at least one person available to chat about what it is their branch does. I did a whole separate post exploring how varied the Service Corps could be.
As the initiates grow older, they're encouraged to do a work/study thing that matches with their interests and gives them a better taste for what a particular field is like. This can, and usually is, done many times so an Initiate can find the best fit. And if they can't find a good fit, that's fine, too; there's no time limit on choosing a career. In fact it isn't uncommon for a Jedi to switch paths, either within an individual branch (Consular to Sentinel) or an entirely different discipline (Seeker in ExplorCorp to Crèche Master in the Educorp).
The point is, there are always choices available. It isn't shameful to not be a Knight. In fact it's expected that most will choose paths that don't involve a lot of political juggling and aggressive negotiations (although politics do creep into every field).
The whole mess with the Jedi being beholden to the Galactic Senate is a bucket of eels I'm not willing to handle at the moment, but I figure this is a good start to pinning down my ideas and I may venture back if I think of anything else.
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Accessibility and the Rise of Ableism as a buzz word
I really get so angry at people using ableism as a buzz word to ignore the actual needs of my community.
Instead of, maybe asking us, people assert a claim about what they think we need.
The current debate on NaNoWriMo is a good example of that. Their assertion about LLM/Generative AI discussion having ableist undertones is an example of someone using ableism as a buzz word without a proper examination of the actual issues that impact a community.
It makes assumptions about what people with specific disabilities are able and aren't able to do, which is ableist in of itself. It's not meant to actually be helpful for disabled people, but to silence our worries by claiming that a "tool exists already" as if this tool can replace our need for human community and support.
This digs into the much LARGER debate about how tech companies and so-called "innovators" will not listen to the communities they claim to be "innovating for." Thus, they end up making items that don't solve my community's needs. Instead, these devices often cause more harm, are taking funding away from products (or designs we may make ourselves) that actually help us thus causing more harm, and overall makes it more difficult to push for equitable and accessible revamping of ableist systems.
Disabled people are a diverse bunch for sure as anyone can be disabled for any reason and at any time in their life. Disabled people come in all ethnicities, races, classes, genders, sexual orientations, etc.
But there are still some commonalities when it comes to which illnesses and/or disabilities we may be discussing for a specific need.
For example, those of us who use wheelchairs need the environment itself to be built in a more accommodating way. We need more ramps, we need more easily opened doors, we need less hostile architecture.
We Do Not Need A Wheelchair That Can Climb Stairs. Often those things are deathtraps to start, and very rarely include us in the design process. It also disguises the very real problem of hostile architecture by slapping a mediocre and badly designed "tech solution" as a band-aid, as if that will actually solve all our problems. (Spoiler, it won't.) It takes funding away from redesigning architecture in a less hostile way, and it hijacks the discussion away from our needs and toward the so-called tech solution.
Technology can be helpful for us, yes, but what we need requires our input in order to produce a design that can actually assist the majority of us that has that particular disability.
This is where using ableism as a buzz word becomes such a major problem. In order to determine whether a person has engaged in good faith about the claim of ableism, we need to examine the underlying assumptions about that claim and see if they utilize an ableist framework.
To aid us, here's some definitions.
Abled-bodied person is a person who is not disabled. As in they have no physical or mental disabilities. Or they are someone who does not identify as disabled because any mental illness or physical illness they have does not negatively impact their life enough for them to notice (this person may have unresolved internalized ableism).
Disabled person is a person with a physical or mental (or learning) disability. People often identify as disabled. Please do not use “differently abled” as that was a term introduced by abled-bodied people and most disabled people in our community dislike the term as it others us.
Ableism is discrimination, bigotry, infantalism, and prejudice against disabled people.
Ableist framework is a narrative that demeans disabled people and puts them in a lower caste than the rest of society. This is common in a capitalist lifestyle, which is the idea that we can all make it if we work hard regardless of our health or mental wellness. Many a problematic narrative is rooted in this idea of productivity being the sole value of human worth, which is an ableist framing. Some disabled people cannot fit the parameters of what qualifies as “work” in a capitalist society, and thus they are deemed “unproductive” by society. This “unproductive” status puts them in a lower tier, where they are assumed to have no quality of life. Again, this is the root of Ableist Framing.
Now to expand on my examples.
For the wheelchair that can climb chairs, the innovator may claim criticism of the wheelchair has ableist undertones.
However, if we look more closely at the actual discussion about the wheelchair; we'll see very real concerns about how top heavy it is and prone to tipping over, how the mechanical parts can trap limbs and crush them, and other problems that can cause bodily harm to the disabled person using said item. In this instance, we see the criticisms are indeed valid, and that 'ableist undertone' was used as a buzz word to avoid the harm of the "innovation" and to avoid a discussion about what it is that wheelchair-users actually need.
In the case of NaNoWriMo, instead of actually engaging in people's very real concerns about the unethical nature of LLM/generative AI and its impact on the writing community; they used ableism as a buzz word to silence that criticism.
In the case of NaNoWriMo, instead of actually engaging in people's very real concerns about the unethical nature of LLM/generative AI and its impact on the writing community; they used ableism as a buzz word to silence that criticism. In their own words, they call the discussion of "artificial intelligence has undertones of ableism and classicism." When we dig deeper, NaNoWriMo uses ableist claims about disabled and lower income folks to try to defend their generative AI nonsense. The example I'll speak to is one that impacts me, that of people, who are either neurodivergent and/or with brain injuries and/or illnesses that impact the brain.
However, this is rooted in several harmful assumptions about what people with those illnesses and injuries can or cannot do. Thus, in an attempt to stop criticism of their actions, they engage in an ableist framework that presents specific disabled people as being unable to do the act of writing ourselves and thus requiring a novel tech solution to solve our issues.
People with these injuries and illnesses can and often do write, but what they truly need isn't some novel tech solution like ChatGPT.
As a side note, I won't go into the major problems with LLM/generative AI such as their unethical datasets; burying human authors and making it harder to discover us; harmful environmental impact where billions of gallons of water is used yearly and harms watersheds and water access; difficulty in phrasing prompts to get an output that is coherent; hallucinations (as in unreliable output data); misinformation; stealing our works to fuel the unethical datasets; etc. Others articulate that well; I just want to speak to the use of ableism in their statements. (To see a good analysis of NaNoWriMo, see this video by D'Angelo.)
What we need is the support of a human community. Better access to resources in general (such as Internet and/or data plans, which are expensive and a lot of low-income people do not have access to reliable services) or devices that fit our needs. For example, for myself, I often have friends who will help with editing for free or a fee I can afford. I also always use dark mode and text-to-speech software. Others may need software or devices that has dsylexic fonts, high or low contrasts, little to no blue light, dark modes, dictation programs, tablets like Remarkable or Kobo where you handwrite and it transforms it into text, etc.
Instead of discussing it with people within that community, they used ableism as a buzzword to silence their critics and then justify their harmful actions without any real regard for the actual impact to my community.
That is the problem with these people who do not engage in discussions with the communities they claim they are "helping" or "supporting." They instead speak for us as if they know us better than we know ourselves, which is also an ableist framework.
Disabled people are often poor because of how our society's ableist framework makes it near impossible for us to exist in society and receive the care we need for survival. This means we may not have access to reliable Internet or data plans that can handle heavy data loads, so it is classicist to assume we are able to access software that relies on reliable and heavy-data Internet and data plans.
So how can we approach this in a more nuanced way?
For one, talk to disabled people from that community and try to include a diversified sample from all sorts of races, ethnicities, classes, genders, etc.
We need ethical and accessible designs that includes us, as well as making these tools cheaper to access. For example, Diction software or Handwriting-to-text can be irritatingly expensive to find ones that are fairly accurate. The licensing of these types of software can be expensive too, so building up accurate, free and open-source alternatives would be lovely. This way we can use our own words spoken by us (or handwritten on the tablet).
We need a community of people that support us through a diversity of ways (emotionally, physically, intellectually, etc.) As in we need to stop isolating disabled people, and instead include us more holistically. To build up communities of care, where human beings work together to swap skills and help one another build what they envision.
We need society/orgs/people to listen to us and respect us as equally valid as their own selves. To stop speaking for us and allow us to speak about our needs. To stop assuming disabled people can't use their brain at all. To stop assuming we have no skills.
We need society to be more accessible and to center accessibility from the get-go. We need to expand the definition of accessibility to include not just physical spaces, but to include information, transportation, justice, sensory, etc.
We need accessible and cheap/free housing. clean water, clean air, and food.
What we do not need is people using us as a shield in order to silence criticism.
I wrote this article on my blog awhile back, but I'll resurrect it here:
Introduction
when i ask for accessibility as a disabled person, most abled-bodied (as in non-disabled people) assume that means if the ‘physical space’ is accessible for mobility reasons. it’s a common and not entirely accurate assumption of the ask itself. we are taught to view accessibility only as physical space adjustments, but this is not the only meaning of the word ‘accessible’ and it erases the diverse needs within the disability community.
the needs within the disability community can also improve the lives of those who aren’t disabled; accessibility is about justice for all people, where we create an multi-layered environment that is accessible not just transport-mobility-wise or physical-space-wise but also information-wise and multiple-role-wise.
what do i mean by multi-layered accessibility?
accessibility is about movement through the multi-layered spaces within our society. it’s about mobility.
mobility through physical space, information space, community space, intellectual/engagement/labor space, sensory space, transport space, time-independent space, and justice space.
mobility is the way we move in society whether physically through spaces such as buildings or streets. mobility is also how we move figuratively through community relationships.
mobility is how easy it is for us to access information and share information. another form of mobility is the roles we have in a community or in a movement — those roles provide emotional and intellectual spaces where people can exist based on their gifts.
so mobility justice and accessibility is a multi-layered space that exists not just in physical/transport space but also in community-space and information-space and sensory and intellectual/labor space.
we need to be cognizant of these multi-layers when creating events and movements so that we can be accessible to our most vulnerable members of the community.
so when a disabled person asks if something is accessible, we aren’t just asking if we can navigate to and from the event, or if we can understand the information presented (such as is there interpreters, etc), but also if there is a role we can exist within to further the goals of the movement as well as information about the movement and/or event that is easy to access and share.
Community Care and Accessibility
community care is also reliant on accessibility from a mobility justice framework. we cannot care for one another unless we find ways to center accessibility so that all people feel able to access support systems that may meet the multitude of needs in a diverse community.
to build up community care so that these diverse needs can be explored for possible accessible services and care practices is crucial to the goal of mutual aid efforts and the idea of community care itself.
accessibility is a gift not an add-on. it is a gift that provides a multitude of avenues for people to participate in ways that fits their abilities and energy levels.
if we reframe how we view accessibility, where we see it as a gift that creates more depth and space for all to exist and participate, then we can revolutionize our approach to community and building movements. centering accessibility — and its multi-layered definition that goes beyond just physical space — is crucial to liberation of all people.
our most vulnerable populations are Black disabled trans people, and thus accessibility also needs to be examined from their viewpoint in order to best meet their needs.
when we view and create access with our most vulnerable populations, we are creating a multi-layered space that is accessible for all people, as it is when our most vulnerable populations needs are met that all needs will be met as well.
that theory of building up has shown to be helpful especially in many Black Lives Matter groups around the country and in Indigenous groups, where their centering of the most vulnerable populations often created a fluid accessible multi-layered space that is held accountable to the needs of those communities. it created a creative and dynamic space for the diversity of people to exist.
to remind, the disability community is a vastly diverse community of so many different genders, sexual orientations, races, ethnicities, etc — to center accessibility and the multi-layered tenants of mobility/disability justice means opening up community and movements to a diverse and gifted group of people. it nourishes and inspires more creative ways of existing in relationship with one another.
may we learn and seek understanding. may we hear the voices of the vulnerable and seek to meet their needs. may we create community systems that are accountable to one another and care for one another as we are. may we listen and grow and uplift one another in the work we do.
_________
Crafting Accessible Spaces: Questions to Consider as Examples
I typed up the following guide for a friend to assist them with what questions to consider when centering accessibility at their event. May it help all of you as well.
Do you have any questions to add to any of the categories that I may have missed? Is there further details on a suggestion that I could add? Let me know in the comments! I’ll edit this post as needed.
physical space:
is the area accessible for limited-mobility folks? As in can we reach it and navigate through it easily?
Are doors easy to open? Is there ramps? Is there elevators or wheelchair lifts that are easy to access?
Is there benches or chairs or places for people to rest if walking/wheeling is involved?
Is there air filtration units to help clean the air? Is masking with N95s mandatory to make sure immuno-compromised people can attend safely?
If there are speakers, can everyone in the audience hear the speaker? If not, how can the physical space be adjusted so people can hear better or see the interpreter better?
How do you present any slides — is that easily seen by the entire audience?
information space:
are your materials easy to read? As in avoid jarring color combinations or too small font.
Are there interpreters if there are speakers? (This includes ASL as well as spoken languages).
Do you require everyone to include pronouns in their introductions? (You should.)
Do you have speakers provide a brief description of themselves in introductions for those who are blind? Is there descriptions of pictures (such as those used in slideshows or in videos) that blind people can access easily?
Does your online materials have alt-text and/or captions for those with sight and hearing disabilities?
Is information on accessibility easily available in your event invites?
Is the information translated into a language that is understandable by one’s audience? (This includes adjusting words used based on culture as well as different spoken languages).
community space:
How are you engaging the affected communities?
In what ways are you engaging in mutual aid for those that may attend? (such as meeting their needs in the other intersecting accessibility spaces I listed here).
In what ways are the needs of the community being listened to and addressed? Have accessible discussion spaces for community to provide feedback. Include the community in collaboration on how to create the access they need to fully engage with society and with one another.
Is the community walkable (or wheelable with a wheelchair/mobility aids)? Is the sidewalks easy to traverse? Is needed services nearby? Is there a way to create a mixed zoned neighborhood so that the community can access the food, healthcare, parks, etc to fully engage one another and the city at large? To be able to access events within the town?
Is there pandemic mitigation strategies to make sure people are able to safely convene without large risks to their health? (This means mandatory masking with N95 or better, air filtration units like HEPA filters or Corsi-Rosenthal boxes in each room, good ventilation systems, having the event outside, washing hands and using hand sanitizers. Strategies that are multi-layered are the safest for all people).
intellectual/engagement/labor space:
How are you utilizing/leveraging the gifts of the disabled community?
Are you sharing materials made by disabled people and providing compensation for their labor? Are you compensating the labor of disabled folks advising your event?
Is compensation possible – why or why not? What would compensation look like ideally? Is the idea of compensation preventing you from utilizing the gifts of disabled people? Why is that?
In what ways can you leverage those gifts to avoid tokenizing and/or erasure?
sensory space:
Do you have a space cordoned off for those that may get sensory overloaded to cool down? (This will allow them to “take a break” to cool down and then return to the event. The spot needs to be away from loud noises, dimly lit if possible, and be easily entered.)
Do you have content notes/trigger warnings written into your scripts? (This allows people who have panic attacks to determine their level of engagement, and if they need to temporary exit to recover).
Do you make sure that no strong scents dominate the area or that there are alternate food or drink that accommodates intolerances/food allergies?
Do you allow adequate time between speakers for people to process what was said? (Having speakers back to back without at minimum a two or three minute break can be exhausting for some disabled folks).
Do you have materials set up for deaf or visually impaired folks to access the materials and understand content?
transport space:
how do people reach your event? Is there an easy to find parking area and accessible walkway to your event?
For those that may not be able to drive themselves, are you near a bus line or have a ride system?
Do you have a way for people to make it safely home if they find they are too exhausted to drive themselves? (Safety drivers – give them a vest to make them easy to see. Give them a short training before the event on how to respond when approached for a ride home, and how to ask consent before offering to assist a disabled person into or out of the car)
Is this information easily available in your event invites?
time-independent space:
Does your event have a way to capture and share what transpired so others can view at a later date?
Is there a way to make breaks and the timing of the event flexible for those with various disabilities?
justice space:
do you have plans on how to adjust your event to meet the needs of disabled people? How can you collaborate with the community to enact these plans? (Keeping the community in the loop, so they can offer insight can avoid harmful blunders/accidents later down the road).
For example, while going through the above questions, if you find something you need to tweak or alter to provide that space for disabled folks, is that something you are willing to do? Why or why not? What is stopping you?
Did you create take-aways for people to take home that informs them of the event’s goals and aspirations? Is there suggestions on how people can virtually or physically assist your organizations and/or events goals? (Make these easy bullet points. For example, ‘write a letter to x senator. here is a script you can use.’ or ‘donate to z fund to aid political prisoners’)
Is there ways to lead people toward justice and liberation through the above accessible materials, discussions, events, etc?
When you enact the plans for improving accessibility within your city/town/group, do you collaborate with the impacted community and keep them informed? Allow them to assist with enacting the plans?
_________
Bibliography of Sorts
these ideas and definitions are based on the writings of disabled people such as myself, Alice Wong, Imani Barbarin, Matthew Cortland, A. H. Reaume, and other disability activists as well as conversations with local disabled activists.
Books:
Disability Visibility: First Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century edited by Alice Wong
Mobility Justice by Mimi Sheller
Care Work: Dreaming of Disability Justice by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space By Amanda Leduc.
Black Disability Politics by Sami Schalk (free access book)
A People's Guide to Abolition and Disability Justice by Katie Tastrom
Design Justice Community-Led Practices to Build the Worlds We Need by Sasha Costanza–chock
Building Access Universal Design and the Politics of Disability by Aimi Hamraie
Restricted Access Media Disability and the Politics of Participation by Elizabeth Ellcessor
Crip Spacetime: Access, Failure, and Accountability in Academic Life by Margaret Price
Accessibility for Everyone by Laura Kalbag
A Disability History of the United States by Kim E. Nielsen
Surviving the Future: Abolitionist Queer Strategies by Scott Branson, Raven Hudson, and Bry Reed
Crisis and Care: Queer Activist Responses to a Global Pandemic edited by Adrian Shanker
Stairs and Whispers: D/deaf and Disabled Poets Write Back Edited by Sarah Alland, Khairani Barokka, and Daniel Sluman
Crip Kinship: The Disability Justice & Art Activism of Sins Invalid by Shayda Kafai
The Future Is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes and Mourning Songs by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
Articles:
On Reclaiming Brokenness and Refusing the Violence of ‘Recovery’ Narratives”
How Colonial Visual Cultures Have Worsened This Pandemic and What Needs to change
10 Principles of Disability Justice by Sins Invalid
Accessible Activism Guide
What to do When Your Disability Keeps You From Writing?
#Disability#disability justice#disabled#disabilities#invisible disability#disability rights#actually disabled#ableism#ableist frameworks#Discussing ableism as a buzz word to avoid criticism#Updated the write-up to be more robust in the sections about what disabled people may need
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that post u made about A.B.A regarding her classic GG quotes is so interesting I had no idea she said that! I haven’t played the earlier games, would u happen to have screenshots of where she says that or where I might be able to see some of her classic/unused quotes ? I just like having that stuff on hand lol. Thank you!
Thanks to you, anon, for making me revisit the screenshots, and sure thing! I'm gonna link the page, keep in mind it's super meaty and covers a lot of characters so ctrl F search will be your best friend to find specific character/quotes :)
I found them in this big quote compilation in guiltygear.ru, click the sentence to go there. (Kudos to @/solradguy's big gg neo.cities archival efforts making me find the page)... BUT before anything, important DISCLAIMERS❗:
1. Some of the quotes in general can get kind of explicit or with double entendres so uh keep that in mind.
2. Something I just learnt after going to find you the translations, it's to keep in mind their author: See, this is better explained in the aforementioned ne.ocities archival, but a lot of the site's translations were made by someone who, without going too much into detail, is... a controversial member of the community, who is known for putting a good bunch of misconceptions and mistakes into their translations. (Also they have, in my opinion, unsavory and even problematic takes about the franchise. Don't try to argue with them, just block, per proper net etiquette) I don't know japanese so I don't know if this quote index suffers from that so in the end, we'll have to take all this quote info with a huge grain of salt.
Keeping all this in mind, this is already probably a wordier answer than you expected BUT since we are at it, I'll ramble about some A.B.A quotes (in no order) that I found interesting about the topic under the cut, if you want to read that.
First and third quotes in this picture are pretty self explanatory about this part of her character. The vs Faust intro... Man, that looks straight out of her strive song. Dunno if they pulled inspiration from that, but it seems even in the classic days they had a pretty clear idea of part of A.B.A's story being existing and thriving in her own unique way.. Which makes me kind of emotional for some reason ;_;
These were NOT unused as far as I can tell, but obviously do correct me if wrong!
I find it fascinating how much of clear glimpses these are are into her law obsession (more on that specific one later) and believing herself to be a high class person and looking above "lower classes" shoulders.
Some of these aren't exclusively about the aforementioned topics but they mention her cooking god knows what creatures (like in that one infamous xxac ending) and just.. being a scared, pathetic individual at heart. Sigh.
There are probably more examples of all this but this post needs to end sometime today.😭 So, returning to her law thing being an obsession in capital letters, look at her ingame overdrives:
But before that, the elephant in the room: People's observations of her instakill looking pretty taxing to her to perform and even making a berserk Paracelsus look like even he thinks this goes too far are not far from the truth. "I might not recover this time... Dying!!!" What else can I say, that's just sad.. and very interesting lorewise about the toll of this kind of summonings. Yeah, people noticed that in strive, she can summon the same exact door as in her insta with no struggle (or at least not the same level for sure) indicates her power or skill have improved which is so so fascinating.. Anyways. Back to the law thing. We've always had a huge sign under our noses: Her saying Evidence in her overdrives. While sure it can be evidence in a more general meaning, like proving facts or something, it does call to LEGAL evidence, too
...Maybe that was super obvious for everybodh but I'm afraid to admit I didn't connect the dots til now haha 😅
I cannot access my xxacp copy right now to see if her saying shouko during her overdrives is correct, but were we to take this as truth and also trust a japanese language study site as solid because. Again I have zero knowledge of japanese... According to Nihongoclassroom..
It can be used in a legal setting.
And with this we can neatly wrap this up... Tdlr I guess she's living up to her creator being a mansion owner (which isn't precisely cheap) and it gets so interesting and double edged (HAH) if you believe her classic games was as self aware while doing this and fooling herself as strive A.B.A is.
AND she has or had a HUGE interest in law (and if u allow me to reach mayyybe morality too?). While probably not as core to her as her key thing, she sure has told the audience almost as much as it.
#Making this post unrebloggable for now cause of what's covered/that might be wrong/the links too heavy n end up in wrong places (sorry my#own a.b.a-esque morality doubts jumped out. 😅) but might make it rebloggable if a lot of ppl rly want n stuff. hope u understand. I'm not#good at wording this part lmao#LONG post#thank u for asking and whoever reads . this took an hour or two to type aaaahjfhk#the texts feature#repetition#stuff abt her dying and some other stuff.. let me know if you need anything else tagged#a.b.a#text tag2b named#there's also an used intro I missed with her just.. talking abt 100 or so men being imprisioned and stuff. it's in the page but I forgot to#highlight here lol#anon#ask tag2b named
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[ID: a screenshot of a reblog by @/fleurtygurl. It reads: "Omg instant follow! I need more Philippines facts in my life!!! 😭😭😭
If you have any facts about filipino myths? That would be amazing. But also I will literally eat up everything you post!
I'm in desperate need of reconnecting with my roots, but I've been so busy that I haven't had any time to do any extensive research...."
/End ID]
@fleurtygurl Decided to make a whole post based on this because I loooove talking about Filipino mythology and researching more about different mythologies within the country and I also hadn't gone around to looking through the things I want to learn about.
Filipino mythology is a pretty huge umbrella term considering that there are hundreds of cultures in the archipelago that have different beliefs, practices, and traditions and especially before the Spanish colonial period. I won't get too deep into it, but basically if you want to learn about some grander pantheon or some general overarching compendium of beliefs that all precolonial Filipinos believe in, you won't be getting that sine historically, Filipinos were not a unified people, but a bunch of different countries and communities that were placed under one governing body for easy management for the Spanish crown.
With so many Filipino cultures and, by extension, mythologies, the best way with trying to reconnect with your heritage, it might be best to figure out which ethnic group you may have connections too and start researching from there. In my case, for example, I would look up both Tagalog mythology, Bikolano mythology, and Ilokano mythology in order to get a good grasp of the mythology of my roots since I'm mixed Tagalog, Bikolano, and Ilokano, and those three have widely different beliefs and especially with folk religion.
I guess the main issue with this is a lot of sources related to Filipino myths are often difficult to find, are unreliable, or plainly just non-existent. Lots of books are often out of circulation and print, or if they are still in print, they are often only sold by specific retailers and often cost a lot of money. Research papers are locked behind a paywall or are only available through specific e-libraries you can only access if you have an affiliation with a university. Online articles may be unreliable and source places that are hard to fact check. Blogs, honestly including mine to be frank, may parrot wrong information from other websites and articles, with their best feature being the possibility that they may have come from oral sources but those are also very few.
Honestly, I was about to go on a long tangent about discussing at least the Tagalog pantheon and mythology because it had a lot of sources I've seen online, but after hours of research, I've found out that there was also a lot of unreliable sources in terms of information about that so I've decided against rambling on further about it for now.
(I am still going to write about my findings on the Tagalog pantheon later but after what I've found out, I might take some time to look through a lot more primary sources which means colonial era texts and harder to find archived works.)
I will say that a good way to connect with more general Filipino folklore outside of mythology itself is probably consuming media that explores folklore and traditional beliefs. I recommend Trese, a Filipino comic turned series on Netflix if you want to see Filipino cryptids being used in a modern-day story made by Filipinos. There are also other comics that focus on Filipino mythology like The Mythology Class and its sequel The Children of Bathala by Arnold Arre.
There's also series and movies that take inspiration from Filipino folklore and mythology with Dayo: Sa Mundo ng Elementalya (English name Niko: The Journey to Magika) as my go-to suggestion. I had also heard good reviews for Amaya, a series created by GMA 7, but honestly I don't think the series clicked with me.
#mayaposts#mayapino#fleurtygurl#filipino#philippines#filipino mythology#might make posts about specific filipino myths some other time because it's such a big umbrella of stories and legends#outside of the precolonial religion#sorry to make this post so long i'm a give me an inch i'll go a mile kinda person#long post
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read this if you're confused about the current discord arbitration clause update bullshit going on right now, or if you use discord and have no idea what I'm talking about.
hey so I'm linking the article that Polygon wrote here
BUT TLDR, if you are in the United States of America, this is relevant to you. if not, don't worry about this article, the update is not applicable to you.
discord changed its TOS to make it so that if you're reading this and you currently have a discord account, you have until May 15, 2024, to opt out of their arbitration clause update.
the update in the arbitration clause means that, unless you send an email to the email discord has provided, you revoke your right to publicly sue discord or join any class action lawsuit against discord. LUCKILY discord has stated that, if you don't want that to apply to you, all you need to do is send an email to their specific arbitration opt out email address, the article I linked gave the process.
however, if you're still confused, I'll break down a little more about why discord might have done this, why it's a smart idea and while it's not great, it's not as underhanded as it may first seem.
let's get into it.
why would discord do this, and is it fucked up of them?
simply put, they're doing this because they don't want to be liable for the stuff users do, regardless of why.
say someone makes a threat in a public discord, it gets reported, and discord ignores it, and then that person actually goes out and hurts people. that sucks. that's awful, if anyone ever actually announced that they're going to hurt people, and then they actually go out and do it, that's tragic and horrible all around. and when awful things happen, people want to hold someone responsible. hopefully the person that's actually responsible, but when there's tragedy, sometimes it's hard to tell who's responsible and who's not.
if someone wants to make discord as a company answer for their part in that tragedy, they can just go to the courts and tell the government that hey, people reported the threat, and discord determined that the threat of harm wasn't legitimate. the person that wants to sue them can go to court and say "hey, this guy said he was going to do xyz in this discord server, discord knew and didn't do anything, and then he went and did it, which means they implicitly agree" and under default arbitration laws, the court can go "wow, fucked up of you to just agree with people getting hurt discord, time for app jail" and then the public court gets to force discord to drag everything out in public and defend why they didn't think it was a legitimate threat. now they have to prove that, no, discord as a company does not support hurting people, and the fact that they didn't take this specific bomb threat seriously doesn't mean they support hurting people. regardless of if it's obvious, discord has to prove that they as a company don't condone what happened in this instance. it has to prove used its best judgment to determine if the threat was legitimate or not before it can even clarify if they agree with the events of what happened. when someone turns out to be serious about threats, it can be very hard to prove that when you didn't think it was legitimate, and that you used your best judgment to come to that conclusion. regardless of if that's the case, hindsight is 20/20.
which is understandable! think about how many discord scams there are, the ones that hackers use to get into your account and that type of shit? people who know cybersecurity threats generally know what to look out for, but unfortunately, even if you know what to look for in order to avoid giving a hacker access to your account, you can still get tricked here and there and lose access to your account.
imagine if someone, say, hacks your account, and before you can get back into it, they use your discord account to send a bunch of bomb threats with specific details to the most public discords you're a part of, and then the things happens. shitty, right?
now imagine that the thing happens, and they deleted your account before you were able to get back into it. that rando who only knows you from that one discord server thinks that you were secretly a part of that entire thing and, because your account is gone and you never return to set the record straight, that person thinks you were a sleeper cell asshole. if you didn't approve of the person hacking your account, if you weren't sympathetic to the cause, and if you're never able to get back into that discord and set the record straight, you're going to live in their head rent free as someone who helped plan that awful horrible thing and they were just in a regular discord with someone like that. even if you make a new account, and unless you're able to get back into that discord, whatever user or server nickname you used is now registered in that person's mind as someone who turned out to be A Terrorist.
that's what discord faces, on a company scale, if the wrong people are allowed to publicly sue discord. if enough bad faith actors come together, hack a bunch of accounts, and use discord to announce a terrorist attack, do that, and then delete those accounts, even more bad faith actors can come forward and decide to round up and sue discord. now discord is now on the hook for people who want to hold someone accountable because why didn't they see this coming? discord knew that people were going to die and did nothing? how fucked up is that?
the current laws assume that the person that is pursuing the legal case is acting in good faith, and the person being sued has to prove that they're not acting in bad faith. that assumption inherently makes discord's survival harder, because not everyone that sues someone else does so in good faith.
the way the laws are currently set up, discord has an uphill battle to face all around: that if they did know, why didn't they do anything about it? if they didn't do anything about it, it means that either they didn't take the threat seriously, or they agree with what happened. so which is it? does discord not only negotiate, but go so far as to agree with terrorists?
the issue is that to even get there, we have to decide what terrorism is. and a lot of dangerous people on the internet make threats about doing terrible things, and regardless of how serious they are about the threats they make, a lot of those threats don't come to fruition, either because they were never serious, or bc they were stopped in time. is someone an asshole, a terrorist, or someone who tried to be a terrorist and was bad at it? how is discord supposed to know just by someone saying something in a discord server whether that person is serious or not?
if you don't agree with terrorists, and you're not a terrorist yourself, good news! discord doesn't want to hurt you! they just want to make sure that if someone does something shitty that they don't agree with, that they as a company won't go under because of it. and if anyone tries sue discord for someone announcing they're going to do something that discord doesn't agree with, discord can just say "no, we don't approve of what happened" and thus they avoid being the messenger being shot.
if you don't trust discord to not help people you think are terrorists, then you need to keep your right to sue discord. the Polygon article I linked at the top of the article can give you the email you need to send an email to and a template to use for what you want that email to say.
do what you want with this knowledge.
#ravi rants#my oc#writing#discord arbitration#got tired of fearmongering so i just wrote my thoughts on this and it turned into an article lol#anyways yeah have fun with this
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Cities
Here's a post that strongly intersects with @your-tutor-abacus' blog, but I think I'll write about generics and let it reference this post when it goes to write about specifics.
The cities on the Sunspot (`etekeyerrinwuf) are build very differently than most cities on Earth (or, at least U.S. cities) and there are good reasons for this.
We all tend to take for granted what we've grown up with, so when we write about living and doing things in the cities where we've grown up, we'll tend to reference metropolitan civil structures without explaining them. Unless the story has a moment that specifically deals with why those structures exist, then we might get introspective an analyze them.
But, when you gone from one culture to an alien one, it absolutely prompts analysis and you can find yourself obsessed with it for a while, so I'm claiming this subject.
What are Sunspot cities like?
Unlike Earth cities, which have mostly grown up naturally around various human settlements that gathered around important resources, Sunspot cities were designed from the the ground up deliberately.
Some Earth cities were created in similar ways, especially the colonial ones. A country will pick a spot where it wants a city and hire a bunch of professionals (or politicians) to socially engineer the city to meet some sort of national ideal and to practice social engineering in the process.
There are still some real fundamental differences between that and what happened when the Sunspot was built.
Unlike any place on Earth, or the Earth itself, the Sunspot is a constructed world, built literally from the ground up (or inward) to be a safe place for its inhabitants to exist with sufficient resources for everyone.
It's a spaceship, not a planet, even though it's big enough to have multiple cities in it, and a whole ecosystem of plants and animals. And it had to be designed to be indefinitely sustainable.
Part of that was, in contrast to its predecessor ship, was making sure that every living thing on the ship (including every person) had equal access to resources in order to minimize conflict.
So, wherever you might live on the Sunspot, ports in the floor and/or ceiling deliver everything you could possibly need to thrive there.
You, as a living being with a biological vessel, get an allotment of ship resources, and it's probably more than you'll ever use, because the population is kept low enough to do that (which is a dire concern on a generational starship, but a false one on Earth, really).
This means that neighborhoods, communities, and cities are not built around your typical sets of resources. In fact, Belowdecks, they aren't built around any resources.
Abovedecks, in the Garden, the primary resource considered is psychological. Each city is built in an area of the Garden where the environment may best fit the psychological needs of a predicted portion of the population.
So, there are cities in the plains, the mountains, the forests, the shorelines, near rivers, and under the water to create a wide range of possible living conditions and psychological amenities.
But, besides that, the organization of neighborhoods and specialized buildings is totally different than Earthlings may be used to.
Because, the one resource that the ship systems cannot control, just by virtue of the two Living Rights, are people. Community.
But community can be encouraged and accommodated.
So, all quarters and structures Belowdecks are modular and reconfigurable. Designed so that wall can be constructed or removed as needed. Hallways are left permanently in their original locations to make navigation easy and accessible to all, but between the hallways people can do just about anything.
But, by default, the Founding Crew set this up with sets of personal quarters arranged to surround communal gathering spaces. And those communal gathering spaces have been used for libraries, audiences, galleries, warehouses, kitchens/cafeterias, and Artistry collectives of all types. And the resulting structure overall resembles the arrangement of cells in living tissue, with the community spaces serving as the cytoplasm and organelles contained by the cell walls of the living quarters. Each cell developing into a specialized purpose according to its inhabitants whims and agreements.
And then, the Abovedecks cities where designed in a similar way, except that the potential cells were originally simply foundations for buildings, and they were placed spaced out enough so that their development would have minimal impact on the environment around them.
It's been over a hundred and thirty millennia since then, and the cities and communities have evolved a lot. But the basic structure and pressures (or lack of pressures) from resources remain. And certain collectives or types of Artistry have gathered or dispersed in each city over time and given them their respective characters.
Some cities, like Gopra Pyle, have a huge central collective that unifies all the smaller collectives around it, and have developed sort of a singular municipal Art project that everyone's proud of that has spanned generations of contribution.
Others, like Frra, are more diverse, sometimes homogeneous and sometimes divided, with four major collectives to countless collectives more evenly distributed throughout their perimeter.
So, like, in most cities on the Sunspot, you're not going to find anything like a commercial district or industrial site or set of warehouses. You might find an audience with surrounding libraries that's frequently utilized by the local government, and that might look like a governmental district in an Earth city. But the civic pride that is displayed by that area by its architecture and activities is going to be unusual to Earth sensibilities, and likely a lot more fluid and less focused.
With the Network, the resource tubes, and tram system, almost everything aboard the Sunspot is decentralized. And it shows.
If anything in a city serves as a landmark or gets your attention, it's usually a communal work of art commemorating a past even, serving as a meeting place that you too can use, or just sitting there trying to be beautiful.
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On Trust
Lets talk about trust in kink generally, and in hypnokink specifically. First, about Proximal Trust, then about Trusting me, and last about Accountability.
Something I want, I need people in the hypnokink space - and in general, really - to watch out for is Proximal Trust. This is when [Person A] gains a level of perceived trust or integrity in the eyes of other people, by being associated with (in proximity to) [Person B]. A concrete example: "I've seen HypnoDude being friendly with and sharing the content of SpiralChain for ages, and I trust SpiralChain, so HypnoDude has to be legit..."
Let me let Gen. Ackbar tell you what that is -
There are a lot of people I talk to in the hypnokink community, who exist in a space where... well... it's not that I think they're untrustworthy, but at the same time I cannot attest directly to whether they are trustworthy and respectful partners. That's not because I have doubts about them as people, but because I have never interacted with them in that specific way. They've never been sexually, kinkstually or whatever interested in me, nor I them, and that is a very different level of interaction to, "hey how's the weather? You like D&D 5E? Oh cool, so what's your favorite kind of induction?"
I cannot, and you should not, assume that just because someone is able to maintain a friendship with me without setting off alarm bells in my head, that they are a considerate, ethical, and compatible partner. It is just not a good or safe assumption to make. Yes, a lot of really skeevy people will squick me out and I will avoid them right off the jump... but a lot of others won't.
Cloaking one's predatory nature or broken stair-ness in order to get in the proximity of trusted folks is a great strategy to get access to a more steady stream of potential partners, and so it is one oft employed. And, it often works. I cannot possibly vouch for everyone I interact positively with, nor everyone who shares my content, nor everyone who upvotes or likes my ideas. I can only vouch for the small circle of people I've actually had intimate interactions with or whom I've directly seen interacting in that way for a long enough time to feel comfortable drawing conclusions from said observations. I wish predators and unethical actors and broken stairs came with badges, but sadly they do not.
If you have questions about individuals, ask me about them in DM. I will tell you what I know, and admit what I do not (which is often a lot). I will be as honest and forthright as possible, to give you the ability to make an honest risk assessment for yourself. I'm always here to help, too, should things should go awry, in whatever way you deem necessary. I limit the extent to which I publicly call people out to those people who have, in my eyes, repeatedly and unapologetically done things that cross serious ethical lines, and for whom there is sufficient and publicly-available evidence.
On a related note, everything I said above about other people applies to me, too. I know I make a lot of content on ethics and safety and consent and that might recommend to suspicion that I'm "automatically" a trustworthy person. I'ma let Gen. Ackbar take that one again -
Don't assume you can trust me. I really do appreciate that I've helped people, it means a ton to me. It matters. I am really, really, really super glad to have made the amount of difference - however big or small it is - that I have. I'm grateful for all of your support and accolades and all of that.
However.
No amount of difference, no amount of kudos, no amount of good a person could do, ever, makes them automatically worthy of your trust. That goes double in an intimate, kink context. Always, always, always vett your potential intimate and kink partners as best you can. Just because someone has a bunch of good friends, that does not mean that can't then turn around and be a consent violating asshole in the proverbial (or literal) bedroom. Just because someone talks a good - or great - game, that doesn't mean that when push comes to shove they aren't sus as hell. Vett. Your. Partners. Please. Not doing so does not excuse unethical or injurious behavior on their part - that's their doing and their failing, not yours - but it will help greatly to keep you safe. In an ideal world it would not be required, but we don't live in that ideal world, and until we do we have to live in the one we do.
That brings us to Accountability. I've said a lot here about not trusting the wrong people, so I want to make something absolutely, crystal clear: if someone does something hurtful to you, that is THEIR fault, not yours. Where you put your trust and how you vett people does matter but it does not, in any way, to any extent, make the things that happen to you "your fault." Accountability for those hurtful, abusive actions is 100% on the shoulders of the people who do them. It will never be anywhere else. All of the above - vetting, proximal trust, etc - is said with a mind to practicality and self-protection, to keeping you safe in the future, and not with even a hint of suggestion of blame or responsibility for anything. I know that when you are in the grips of something like that it can be easy to get into a blame, shame or self-hate spiral, wondering how you could let something like that happen and... you didn't. Things like that don't passively occur, they are actively pursued, and done so in ways that specifically overcome or bypass or evade the protective mechanisms that we all use to keep that from being done to us. It's. Not. Your. Fault.
Is this in response to a specific situation? Yes. More than one, honestly. Am I going to spill the proverbial tea? If I was going to, I would have already. I value given promises of privacy and even implicit ones far more than the social currency of naming-and-shaming and "✨#drama✨". If the time comes for that, though, rest assured it will happen. In the mean time, I'll do what I can to see that people are safe, healthy, and steps are taken to prevent future harm, as appropriate. I care about this community and I want to do right by it, and by all of you, as best I can.
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This is gonna sound kind of insane but if any of you have any technology in your workplace or home that is working sub-optimally get it fixed or replaced within the next four months just in case. I’ll explain a little.
So in order to make the silicone needed in processors they have to refine it from silicone dioxide also known as silica to get just the silicone out. Silicone dioxide is most abundant in a mineral called quartz. They’re basically one and the same except quartz is a rock and like most rocks it usually isn’t just made of one thing. Most quartz has inclusions or other contaminants in it from other minerals. If you grind up the average kind of quartz you’re not gonna get pure silica you’re gonna get some other stuff mixed in which makes it insanely difficult to get just the silicone out. Spruce Pine is special because it is the only source of the purest quartz ever found. It has almost no contaminants. There is no other known site on earth with quartz this pure. Having to source less pure quartz from other mines will take a long ass time and then an even longer ass time to refine it thoroughly enough to get just the silicone. Basically if our government doesn’t stop sending money to Israel for five seconds and go fix up this tiny Appalachian backwater quartz mine, the entire world is going to slow wayyyyyyyyy down.
That means new processors will become scarce. And considering the strain that cryptocurrency and now generative AI is putting on our electrical grids, we’re needing even more processors than usual.
So basically if we can’t get this mine fixed the world’s infrastructure is gonna collapse just a teeny bit and a lot of people are gonna lose access to water and electricity because a bunch of wealthy idiots are using it all for their fake money and stolen artwork.
Now you may be thinking that it’s not as big a deal as it sounds. Semi conductors aren’t in everything. Mostly just communication devices.
You’re wrong. This is a big fucking deal and we should all be terrified. Semiconductors are used in pretty much every communication device. This includes satellites not just your phones.
But the loss or slowing of communication isn’t the only scary thing.
This is an opportunity for permanent censorship of vulnerable communities
Right now the only reason we know what’s going on in the world is because we can all talk to each other instantly through this little rock in my hand. That plus satellites. If semi conductors become scarce the priority is going to be for governments and specifically militaries. If we can’t bomb children with drones connected to satellites then Uncle Sam will be very sad and we can’t have that now can we? Basically, the people most vulnerable to censorship will lose their ability to communicate because they will not have access to communication devices. That’s the long term consequence.
Now if the poor people can’t speak on the world stage then naturally some of the more privileged who will still have access to devices will become the voice for the voiceless. This is where the big scary future doom comes in.
The recent targeted attacks in Lebanon were all on communication devices. Pagers, phones, walkie talkies, and even car radios. Basically anything that had a processor. And we all know that the Middle East is where the West likes to test their new war crime toys. Now, if some of the privileged start speaking out, the wealthy elites and the governments of the world will have the capability to permanently silence those individuals.
I know I’m doomsday preaching again. I know I sound like a raving lunatic. I know I’m describing a dystopia that would make a very successful book trilogy and potentially a franchise, but I have yet to be wrong.
I may not be an expert on all this, I may be just a small voice on a very big platform, but I will scream doom from the mountain tops if that’s what it takes to save even one person. At the very least I’ll be able to say that I tried.
My final message is this; prep for the worst, hope for the best.
#silica#silicone#semiconductor#spruce pine#north carolina#appalachia#quartz#hurricane helene#israel#lebanon#i’m so tired#i’m so scared#please please please I am begging you if there is a higher power please stop with the existential irony#i can’t take it anymore#I feel like we’re living in some Truman Show type shit#this is the bad place#I want to live but not in this world
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BG3 - Fuck Gortash
Mild spoilers:
I took a little break from playing after binging a whole bunch, which I think is good - it’s not as good to do everything in a rush. Need time to savour it. I’m almost done now and I have to make these last moments count. I have very little left to do now - just Gortash, then House of Hope, and then the final battle, and that’s it! That’s all. I’ve been doing this run for six months now and I am almost all done.
Unpopular opinion: I think it’s good Larian is not making sequels or DLCs for bg3. They did start work on something, realized they weren’t passionate about it, and called it off. They’re going to move onto something else. How fucking amazing is that. These days the idea of sequels in general fills me with nothing but dread. IPs are just a crash grab waiting to be milked by a room of higher ups requesting the most bland and generic stories that will appeal to the broadest audience possible and cost the least to produce in order to maximize profits. I know that’s the movie situation anyways - I don’t know as much about how games work. I still think it’s fabulous that Larian realized they weren’t able to bring the amount of passion that they felt they should, and they called off the work.
I don’t really want to see more content with the characters that we have. I think their stories are interesting and self-contained and complete. I think it makes sense to end it where it ends. And I mean… it IS a fun game but I’m not so invested in the setting that I’m clamoring for more games set in this specific world. So even on that front, I feel like I don’t need more.
Plus maybe it’s my age, but I’m not used to the concept of game updates in general. I don’t expect them. When I was little, you bought a complete game and it was finished and that was what you got, period. The game is the game. It’s complete and it’s good. It’s always there for you to play again, whenever you want it. You can play the different origin plots, you can make different characters, you can make different choices and see what happens, and it’s always there for you. The fact that there won’t be any large additional DLCs doesn’t take this away from you?
So I don’t know. I feel like this is where fanworks step in now. All those little details you want to see, all those little blanks filled in, all those little extra adventures: that’s what fanworks are for. Let’s let Larian work on their next big project now.
Ok anyways, enough of that. Gortash. First you have to get back into the fortress, and all the guards attack on sight. Myeh. After all these very difficult battles, I guess it was nice to have something less hard, but it’s also no fun to feel like you’re shooting fish in a barrel. I did Iron Throne -> Foundry -> then Gortash, I wonder how things change up if you do things in a different order. After killing all the aggrod Fist in the fortress, it was neat to be able to and read all the books I couldn’t access before. Looks like things have gone significantly downhill in Baldur’s Gate recently.
As for the actual Gortash fight: Gortash gets pretty annoying pretty quickly so I cast Otto’s dance on him to keep him boogying. I love casting control spells on this dipshit that’s all about “Blah blah blah, Bane, Control, Bane, Control” well eat this, asshole. I’m a bit obsessive about collecting all the books and notes in the game to read all the lore, so I was pretty unhappy about everything getting destroyed by the constant barrage of grenades. I reloaded and focused on taking out the three grenade launchers at the beginning of the fight and we had smooth sailing. I’m glad I went through the trouble - Gortash has a journal (well, a rough draft of a stupid vain memoir) that details a bit more the plan that I (durge) was a part of, and where exactly in the timeline I was removed from that plan.
Then poor Karlach. So I do really like Neil Newbon, he did fabulous work, his big scene with Cazador was very cathartic and emotional. I think for those of us who have been badly hurt by other people, it’s not an uncommon fantasy to imagine yourself getting the same kind of brutal revenge. His scene made my oldest daughter tear up when she got to it. Me, I’m not sure, maybe I had seen too many clips online beforehand, maybe it was that it was all over so fast, I mean I definitely liked the scene a lot, and kudos to Neil and all the complicated emotions there, but the eyes stayed dry.
Karlach however - that one did make me cry. It really hit hard for me when she was talking about how unsatisfying it was. Now he’s dead but what good did that do, he’s not any more sorry about what he did. She’ll never get that closure. They took her heart and she won’t ever get it back. It’s been almost nine years now, I think? since I left my abusive husband, and that’s still something that eats me up. You can’t ever get that time back. You won’t get an apology for what happened to you, not from them, not from anyone, not from the universe in general. They probably won’t ever even ever recognize that what they did was wrong. And that’s…I don’t know. For me personally, that’s been so difficult to deal with, and to hear Karlach react the same, that hit hard. I had to pause for a moment.
Then she starts talking about her looming death. This whole time she’s been so positive, focusing on what she can do here and now, it’s admirable! But now it all catches up to her at once and she’s so, so angry. I cried. First time the game made me cry.
Fun fact - I actually legit was going to do Duke Wyll. I don’t care if the game is trying to tell me that’s the bad choice, I do honestly believe that’s a good future for Wyll, and it’s great for the city. But Karlach made me so sad here, her grief and anger at having so little time, and I reloaded back and changed my decision.
Now Karlach’s back to focusing on enjoying the moment, and asking if I will be there when she dies. Man.
Back in Baldur’s Gate, with the three netherstones in my possession, the elder brain is lashing out, and immediately, three citizens are turned into mindflayers. These mindflayers had (rather pretty) silvery white blood! Is this a new patch? Do all mindflayers have that now? I’ve killed a few now and I definitely did not see silver white blood before.
Last errand before I head down to the sewer for the final big fight: stealing my contract back from Raphael. At the start of act 3 my tav felt like his soul was disposable, but I guess all the events have left him with a desire to fight for it. Can’t wait, can’t wait!
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1, 3, 13!
Fanfic Asks for the New Year!
(1.) Do you have a word-count goal for the upcoming year?
Absolutely not lol, I mean it’d be nice to get back into writing and finishing a long form original novel piece at some point (brain stalled with SbS but I guess technically with 60k words done it could count as one novel out of three maaaybe) and I’d ideally like to cultivate a consistent writing habit that’s daily or weekly but I am not good at discipline or habits
And also I’m not feeling long form multichaptered pieces right now, but I want to feel it again and I am afraid the only way to feel it is to force it and I am lazy right now after graduating for the second time in my life
(3.) Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom this year? Which one?
Not really because in relative terms I’ve only recently started really writing for the 26 Eight-Year-Olds Napoleon’s Marshalate fandom, (very proud of my last fic which is Peak Cad Weird Poetic Rambling) because only small obscure fandoms tickle my brain and long dead French generals have hijacked my brain with all their drama, tragedy and comedy. Why did nobody tell me before now that dead Frenchmen were so entertaining and catty bitches to each other
(13.) Aside from fanfic, are there any other fan works you’d like to try creating? Fanart, or fanvids, gifsets, or podfic?
Having made the ambitious shitpost of the tag yourself with 26 drawings of dead Frenchmen - because I thought it would be funnier with my shitty drawings
I have an extremely silly thing I’ve been digitally drawing that I’ll post in the next few days, maybe even tomorrow
Here’s
Here’s a sneak peak.
I do generate a bunch of fun surreal weird AI stuff with the dead Frenchmen as inspiration as well, I don’t really post them out of anxiety, but they’re meaningful to me personally and I enjoy the process of creating these works as much as I enjoy writing and drawing - and it is an extended process because I want very specific things dammit, oh man I need to jump back into photoshop to edit and implement ideas before I lose access to it forever
Oh yeah! The other big fannish thing I do! Painting tiny men! I am going to order more tiny men and paint them oh man I want to order this and recreate this painting but tiny and on my desk and maybe on my cat
Probably the big reason I’ve been writing a tiny bit more is because I’m away from home temporarily and thus away from my paints and tiny men and I can’t just default to painting tiny men all the time and honestly painting tiny men has taken over my life a bit I love them so much and I want to get someone I know to take Good Quality Photos of them
Anyway thank you for the asks!
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Below the read more is a long long rant about people being judgemental about my choice to be sober and also on how judgemental people can be about what is fun to different people. References to family alcoholism/drug addiction contained herein.
Drives me nuts when people pretend like people who don't drink are the judgemental ones when there is a massive stigma around being sober and I literally constantly get called boring for it. Yes, I have tried drinking. Yes, I have tried partying. Yes, I've tried the flashing lights and loud music. I may have not tried all of these things exactly in conjunction, but I have tried parts of them together.
But people just assume I'm a prude or boring or that I'm the one judging them. Like, it's just not for me. That's all. Then they ask a bunch of invasive questions about why you're sober, and it's like no... I don't want to talk about my family trauma and the fact that like many autistic people, when I have access to alcohol I use it to cope with working full time and constantly masking. It reminds me of this friend I had in college who would have people straight up yell at him when he was offered chocolate and he'd politely decline saying that he's not fond of chocolate. People always took it so personally, like it said something about their taste that he just didn't like chocolate. I'm not against alcohol and drugs, almost all of my friends drink and do one kind of drug or another, but when people find out that I made a choice that's the best for me specifically they always act like I'm personally taking a shit on their bed. I'm not against drugs, my cousin is literally moving across the country to a state where she can start legally practicing psychotherapy with psychedelics and I think that's cool and should be legal everywhere! I'm literally addicted to caffeine! I do not care! I'm not sheltered either, I literally grew up with a bunch of alcoholics and opiate addicts, and I still don't think drugs and alcohol are evil.
It hit me the other day how much people tie up being fun with alcohol and drugs when I went to the city for a weekend with my partner. We went to trendy restaurants, went to the aquarium, went to the fine arts museum, travelled all around the city looking at shit, did an escape room, and then stayed up late playing board games and eating snacks at a board game cafe.
We were staying with my aunt, who is a recovering alcoholic, like most of my family. On the second day, after hearing our schedule for the day, she was like "wow you guys are really packing in the fun, huh?". And I realized that's the first time in my entire life I've been called fun. The next day, she talked about how liberating it is to be over 50 now, because she's part of an over 50 social group, and they literally never ask questions about her not drinking. She orders a seltzer water and no one even questions it, whereas when she was younger, it was just constant peer pressure and judgement. I'm just so sick of this idea in general that there's a life script you should follow, that people should do this or that when they're young and this or that when they're old. My aunt is an extroverted person. Imagine how her life might have been better if she'd been able to find other outgoing, non-judgemental friends earlier in life. How revolutionary that might have been for her.
Idk, everyone just needs to be nicer and stop assuming that they know what fun means for everyone and that they're more liberated because they do a substance you've chosen not to. Also, while there is value in trying things that you might not like, I see no need to bang my head against the wall trying every party-like experience when I've never liked one before just so I can justify myself to pedantic assholes who are like 'well, have you tried this specifically??'.
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