GhostGaz Week - 2nd chances // road trip
This one is more of a dialogue based character study than anything else, I think. I felt unhinged writing it even though very little happens.
@ghostgazweek
CW: use of cigarettes, littering, discussions of gender and sexuality, past dating experiences, brief reference to simon riley's terrible awful service experiences
Gaz doesn’t hate land transport, but he’d much rather be on a helicopter than in this silent car with Ghost right now. He’s viciously bored. If it was Price, he’d know how to carry a conversation. But fresh off his third milk run with Ghost, he’s floundering. He checks the clock and groans. There’s another hour before they hit the tarmac and head home.
Desperation for something to talk about makes him blurt, “You ever been in love?”
Ghost doesn’t give much indication that he’s heard, eyes never leaving the road, hand relaxed on the top of the steering wheel. Sometimes Gaz wishes he was a photographer. The Ghost in the driver’s seat would make a great campaign poster. He’s bulky with all his gear. Solid. The picture of a man. This is the guy protecting the innocent by risking himself. A skull faced badass.
“Take the wheel,” Ghost says.
Used to the routine by now, Gaz leans over the arm rest to hold the car steady while Ghost pulls pulls a cigarette from a pack and lights it. But where he usually only lifts his balaclava over the bridge of his nose, he reaches up to take the whole thing off. It’s the work of a moment for him to light the cigarette and open the window. Gaz finds himself looking between the empty road and Ghost’s scarred jaw and the shape of his nose.
“Thanks.”
“Yeah,” Gaz says, settling back into his seat. He tries not to stare, but it’s hard. Without the mask, Ghost is still the picture of a man. Just... different.
“Why’d you ask?”
“Huh?”
Ghost tilts his head to make brief eye contact, then looks back at the road. “Why’d you ask if I’ve ever been in love?”
Oh. “Just… curious, I guess,” Gaz flounders. “I feel like we should know each other better by now.”
The silence is near painful as Ghost takes a drag from his cigarette, and then another. Gaz can’t decide what’s worse - if he’s being ignored or if Ghost is actively offended. He’s about to apologize when he gets an answer.
“Been in love a few times. Puppy love 'fore I joined up, told myself I woulda proposed to ‘er if things were different, but probably not. Was all over the place.” He takes another drag, exhales as he talks. “Had a crush on another private in basic, gave it a go when we graduated. Dated in secret for about a year before I broke things off. Hurt a bit but tha’s a part of it all, yeah?”
“Why’d you break up?”
“Didn’t like being his secret,” Ghost says around another puff of smoke. “He didn’t like my daddy issues.”
Gaz feels his eyebrows crawl up beneath is cap. “Didn’t know you liked men.”
That makes Ghost - Simon? - laugh. “Yeah, well, now we know each other better, I guess.”
Gaz's ears burn a bit. Into the silence, he offers, “Me too. I mean… I’m… not strictly heterosexual…?”
“You askin’ me?” the man snorts a laugh. “’ve seen your beauty serums, Gaz. I know you ain’t straight. Best egg in the carton.”
Gaz scrunches his nose, he can't help it. “What does that even mean?”
Ghost grins that grin. The one that makes Price shoot his whiskey. “You ever have dreams where you’re a girl?”
“What?” Gaz blanches. Five years ago, he’d have answered, doesn’t everybody? But he’s learned his lesson since then. “No.”
Ghost’s grin doesn’t falter. “I do.”
“Bullshit,” Gaz says, because what? What even is this conversation?
“Third love of my life made me go to therapy,” Ghost continues, like he didn’t just rock Gaz’s world on its axis. “Learned a lot. Admittedly before the Ghost thing. Broke up because the therapy was working. And then all the Ghost shit happened.”
“Of course.” What else is there to say?
“Flirted with someone a couple times in the last six months, but either I’ve been too subtle or they’re not interested.”
Gaz gropes around for an appropriate response because I've only ever seen you stare silently at people feels a bit rude. “Maybe it’s the mask? You’re hard to read.”
“Maybe so,” is the answer he gets. “What about you? Ever been in love, Garrick?”
The question shouldn’t startle him, but it does. He stumbles over his answer. “I dunno. Maybe. Had crushes when I was kid. Dated in sixth form, but I don’t know if that counts.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I was a kid, yeah? Everything feels intense when you’re young,” Gaz shrugs. “Doesn’t mean it’s love.”
Ghost is quiet for a moment, nodding to himself. Finally he says, “M’ therapist says that just because it’s a kid that feels it don't make the feelings less valid. If anything, feelings are more intense for kids. Puppy love is still love.”
The realization that Ghost is a romantic snaps into place. He sits with that for a beat before saying, “Well, she cheated on me with my mate, so that ended. Took a long time for me to get over that one.”
“That’s shite,” Ghost mumbles. “You datin’ now?”
“Not much time for a civilian relationship,” Gaz admits with a shrug. “And I’m not… out on base. I’m not not, just… I don’t really care to have people in my business.”
“Fair,” Ghost answers. He flicks his cigarette out the window. “Well, if you ever do think about dating on base, keep me in mind.”
Gaz might pull something in his neck, he snaps to look at Ghost so fast. “Huh?”
Ghost just laughs.
55 notes
·
View notes
okay, while i unironically love the idea of buddie fakeout makeouts, what i really want out of their undercover poker date is them both just... acting like themselves.
and sure, it wouldn't be the first time people have assumed they're together. neither of them usually think much of it (and they definitely haven't ever talked about it seriously, although buck likes to tease eddie for being a cheap date when it's his turn to get the bill). sometimes they'll deny it, but a lot of the time anymore they won't bother when it's a stranger - feels kinda mean to embarrass somebody about it, when it's not actually a big deal.
anyway, there's no good reason to deny it this time either. if they're here on a date, that's fewer questions anyone will ask. if they both lean into it a little, well, it's easier for buck to whisper in eddie's ear than risk being overheard; it's easier for eddie to pass buck information on the bartender who definitely knows more than he's saying under the guise of a lingering touch.
they don't kiss. there's no big dramatic reveal, except that after it's all over they go back to eddie's like they usually do and while eddie's unlocking the door buck shoves his hands in his pockets and something about the soft, tired fondness in eddie's face when he glances back makes him blurt, 'i had a really nice time tonight.'
it is, objectively, a weird thing to say to his best friend. it's the kind of thing that you say after a date. he half expects eddie to burst out laughing. not in a mean way, just. you know. it's funny, the idea of it. the idea that anything about tonight could possibly have been real.
except eddie looks at buck all golden and bashful in the porch light and finds himself saying, 'yeah. me too.'
and both of them privately and simultaneously think, ah. shit.
209 notes
·
View notes