#and has a framed photo of her posing with his cardboard cutout in her office | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

foxyatlas · 2 years

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So anyways it's my mom's birthday today and after she left my dad wanted to surprise her by hanging up a poster of her favorite artist.

Except he didn't get a poster, he got a TAPESTRY, and her favorite artist is PITBULL. And I don't know if he purposefully got the most ironic tapestry he could find, but--

Some of the sayings on the poster, in case you can't read them: "Pitbull's been there, done that <3", "no drama please", "cute but deadly", "keep calm and pitbull on", and my favorite, "live laugh pitbull".

I am struggling.

It gets better. After my dad put it up, my dog IMMEDIATELY started barking and was VERY upset, and so my dad very calmly scooped him up, brought him to tapestry, and said "look, it's alright. It's not a cat. It's Pitbull. It's not a squirrel. Its Pitbull." And it fucking WORKED.

Anyways. Sometimes I go to my writing workshops and people are like "Wow based on your stories I feel like you must have a really dramatic family life" and I don't think this is what they mean by that but oh boy do I ever.

#i think bald men are sexy #look at pitbull! hes so hot!#pitbull #mr 305 #to infinity #you know we got the roof on fire #we gone drink shots until we ball out #something something set the roof on fire #let it be known that my mom is a white christian woman #she speaks fluent spanish and is an absolute tiger #for what its worth #shes also gone to like 7 pitbull concerts #and has a framed photo of her posing with his cardboard cutout in her office #i have a theory #that the crush is partially a joke #because my dad is bald and insecure about it #so my mom one day went #and thats how we got here #godspeed #humor

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