#and got to meet and interact and hang out with ppl my age who are coming on as seasonal interp staff

[thatfaerieprincess]

the loneliness was a lot easier to handle when I was in a year long dissociative state

[unnecessaryshenanigan]

My {Obey Me!} MC

Hi ppl.. I know this is so random and it’s been a while since I posted.. Anyways, I’ve seen this post in my tumblr and I just decided, why not? 

Here’s the link of the og post {Link}

I used Picrew in this art.. Then, it’s so pretty.. I decided to draw my own OC! And, just some clarifications, my OC is brownish skin(ig) and the art doesn’t let me change the skin color so- (btw I just wanna put illustration lmao-)

Yep, it’s my art (y’all, i had references in that like watching in yt for the pose and Makima from ‘Chainsaw Man’ cuz she’s always in suit and fine asf-) I know it kinda sucks cuz the only thing that’s attractive is literally the face-- but moving on.. 

P.S. There’s difference on tracing and referencing.. I referenced Makima cuz i just need her pose.. pls don’t hate on meTvT I’m not a good artist.. so-

Obey Me! MC / Written Template

Personal - Basics

[Name] : Tinanne

 [Race/Species]

Demon [] Angel [/] Human [] Other: []

 [Age] : 21

 [Birthday] : 30th of November

 [Height] : 165 cm / 5’5

 [Fingernail Polish Color(s)] : Transparent but none totally

 [Hair color/description] : She has black blunt bangs and wavy hair down to her waist. She has slightly tanned skin, gray(almost black) eye color.

The normal human exchange student who was hanging on for her dear life in Devildom. 

 Personal - In-depth

[Gender or no | Pronoun(s)] : Female | She/Her

[Occupation Before Devildom Life] : University Nursing Student (19)

[Favorite Color(s)] : Black and White

[Personality] : 

-When you first meet her, she’ll be too shy to even talk to you. Eventually, if you have known her for at least three days and she’s comfortable around you, she’ll start to open up and be more noisy around. 

 -She doesn’t like to be told to. She knows what she’s doing.

 -She has stalker tendencies if she looks up to that person (no worries, she doesn’t mean any harm, right Simeon?:))

 -Lazzzyyyy

 -She’s good at cooking but still lacks

 -Really, surviving for herself

 -Chaotic at times

 -Anime = Top priority!

 MBTI: INTP-T

 Zodiac: Sagittarius

 Personal - Other

[Likes] : Anime , Sci-fi and mystery books , manhwa’s , writing , dogs

 [Dislikes] : Research, Mondays

 [Positive Traits] :

 -Bubbly

 -Friendly

 -Open-minded

 -Loyal

 -Caring

 [Negative Traits]

 -She may not be too honest about her feelings or what she’s doing. She would rather keep her problems to herself and try to solve it alone. She also doesn’t like people interfering with her problems. But if it’s too much that it’s getting out of her grasp, she’ll turn to her closest friend and rant.

 -Childish

 -People pleasing

 -(sometimes) Pessimist 

 -Unforgiving

 Relationships

• Fears | Dislikes | Acquaintances | Friends | Close Friends | Crush | Loves | Indifferent | Tolerates | Respects | Suspicious

 [With Demons]

Lucifer - [Friend/Fears/Respects] 

Tinanne is straight up afraid of Lucifer. The very first time she met him, his authority got into her that she always tries her best to avoid him. During the TSL quiz where he protected her from Levi, her fear of him at least subsided. She respects Lucifer as the first born, as a demon, as a friend, and as a family. That time where he lash out at her for freeing Belphegor from the attic was the time her fear of him took to the highest that she refused to talk to him even in the time jump. Eventually, her walls around him started to go down. She ‘s still afraid of Lucifer but not like the first time she met him now.

 Mammon - [Close friend/Former crush] 

Being her first man, means that he’s the very first demon that she had interacted with, befriended, and she just woke up one day realizing that she likes him more than friends. But some events took turns and she lost her feelings for him. She’s grateful that Mammon is always there for her and cares for her. She always has his back whenever he’s in trouble, protecting him from his brothers when they’re insulting him too much. Basically, they got each other’s backs. She sees him as a best friend and as a brother figure.

 Leviathan - [Close friend]

She’s wary of Leviathan at first. Her proof that he’s dangerous was when he tried to kill her during the TSL quiz. Some time after they forge a pact (this was when Levi calls for MC and Mammon in his room to take some ‘blood oath’.. It was in the (hard) lessons, lesson 3 to 4 i think?) and that was when she slowly found herself with Leviathan and always up for his otaku events in which she also enjoys.

 Satan - [Friend]

She sees him as Lucifer’s child (no, she can’t unsee it). When she feels like being alone and wants peace, she’ll always knock at Satan’s door and ask if she could spend some peaceful time in his room. Satan and her used to not talk to each other but after the time they shared when Lucifer and him switched bodies, they became closer than ever.

 Asmodeus - [Loves]

She still asks WHY she likes this self-centered and narcissist demon. The very first time she met him, she didn't care about him. When he tries to befriend her, of course, she agrees. They became friends even before forging the pack at the retreat. She only saw him as a friend at first but the time they spent together, no, they’re always together; she just found herself falling for his charms. Even if there are times where she just sees him with another, her love for him is too much to stop. Even if he hasn’t fallen in love yet, she’ll continue to hide her feelings. Until he finds his own for her, they will stay in the friend zone.

 Beelzebub - [Close friend/Respects]

Beelzebub is one of the demons she fully opened up (besides Mammon and Levi). At first, they don’t have a stable relationship; just acquaintances. The incident with the tomb (that involves Luke) made them open up for each other. She doesn’t have any traumatic experiences and has a normal childhood so she doesn’t have much past to open up to Beel. However, she’ll always listen to his problems, always look after him. She respects him for being able to be this strong for holding up the family together and trying his best not to fight with his brothers. She respects him as the family man he is, how loyal he could be, and how he’s ready to sacrifice anything just for his family.

 Belphegor - [Tolerates]

She used to like Belphegor. In fact, she even thought of him as one of her best friends. But that time when he killed her, their friendship hit a bumpy road and looks like there’s no way to fix that. As said, Tinanne may be unforgiving. Even though he apologized many times, her perspective of Belphegor as the one who ended her life, she couldn’t even bear to have a long conversation with him. She’s always cautious about him. The only reason she’s still hanging out with him is because Beel. If you ask her herself, she doesn’t want to be entangled with Belphegor anymore. But there are voices at the back of her head screaming to forgive him and start new. For the meantime, she’ll just tolerate him until she finds the time where she could forgive him.

 Diavolo - [Friend/Respects/Fears]

She respects Diavolo but fears him at the same time. He’s like a book that when you read, there are pages that’s missing. And honestly, it frustrates her how she feels like she can’t trust him yet the latter is always welcoming her with a big hug. Diavolo is one of her friends that she doesn’t dare to have jokes on even if he says that it’s fine. Besides that she doesn’t want him to feel that she disrespects him, she just couldn't bear to be in the same room with Hell’s prince and his butler, much more joke around. Don’t ask. Just leave it at that.

 Barbatos - [Friend/Respects]

Barbatos and her have that neutral friendship. They always greet each other and sometimes have conversations. But Barbatos knows how uncomfortable she is around him and his master. He’s not offended by that but just a bit saddened. But he’s fine as she always says that they are friends and that she respects him for being able to keep up with Diavolo’s shenanigans and whenever he hears it, a smile also crepts on his face while saying it’s also amusing of her too keeping up with the brothers and their shenanigans.

 [With Angels]

Simeon - [Friend/Respects]

She must admit, there are times where she stalked Simeon. Why? Well, it was the very first time they met and she found him really beautiful and just that. Anyways, she’s still religious so whenever she feels like she has sinned too much (from lying and stuff-), she’s gonna turn to him and confess to him. Well, she asked an angel to forgive her sins- Okay, sometimes, she also turns to Simeon for advice. Whenever she’s having a hard time, (besides from Mammon and Levi), she’ll run to him and rant all her emotions, anger and problems. They’re almost like father-daughter.

 Luke - [Loves] 

Okay this isn’t meant to be romantic. She loves him like how an older sister loves her younger brother even if most times they fight. She always teases him but knows when to draw a line. She’ll always ask him if he’s doing fine and so does he. If one is sad or problematic, they’ll listen to each other's problems and give their advice and opinion.

 Michael - [Suspicious/Indifferent]

She doesn’t trust nor see him as a friend or acquaintance. She couldn’t care less about him anyways.

 [With Humans]

 Solomon - [Friend]

Solomon and her have a rather.. Weird relationship. Whenever they find the chance to bully each other, they take the opportunity. Still, they get along and by getting along, the angels and demons feel left out because almost all of their topics are about humans and being humans.

 Favorite Things About the Devildom

[Favorite Job(s)] : Royal Library , Akuzon Delivery Center

[Favorite Place(s) to Hang at] : Purgatory Hall, Her’s, Levi’s and Satan’s room, Royal Library, Hell’s Kitchen

 [Favorite Food(s)] : Cookies, fried chicken, burgers, Barbatos’ signature cake, Luke’s sweets

[Favorite Class Subject(s)] : Devildom Law, Devildom History, Three Realms, Culinary classes, Psychology, Newspaper club, including yearbook writing

[Favorite Devildom Version of Something from the Human World - Be Creative!]

Phones and wifi.. I mean, there’s literally phone and wifi in Hell plus Levi’s PC set, games and controllers and all!:)

Least Favorite Things About the Devildom

[Least Favorite Job(s)] : Ristorante Six, The Fall, Hocus Pocus, The Mausoleum, Hell’s Kitchen 

 [Least Favorite Places to Go] : The attic, Lucifer’s room, RAD

 [Least Favorite Foods] : None in particularly

 [Disliked Class Subject(s)]

Seductive speechcraft, Math, Theatre, Arts

 [Stuff that Can be Considered a Negative About the Devildom]

How dangerous and untrustworthy the realm is despite the fact that the higher demons, angels and humans are protecting her. There’s always uneasiness, caution and danger around. Not to be eaten and survive.

[][][]

Finally done after 2 hours! TvT

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored

WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS

GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)

FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10

TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10

SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10

MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10

Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.

Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.

TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10

FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10

Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10

Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10

OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.

Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10

Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11

KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10

Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN

Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12

Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:

So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10

DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10

Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs

Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10

TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10

To sum it up—

GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10

If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE03, Ep3

This ep is exactly like se02, ep 24, meaning it was divided clearly into two parts. While the graduation theme unties the two parts, you can point things out exactly like ep,24:

1st part : Machi’s story= the important part.

2nd part: scattered parts here & there that concern yuki, ep, 24 his interactions with akito, here his interactions with Motoko).

plus, an ep cliff hanger: (e, 24 the dvd given to kureno, here, Isuzu’s mysterious fate).

it is exactly the same even a small kyo/tohru moment!. School graduation instead of the zodiac’s new year gathering. 

Really awkward pacing, but that’s furuba, we celebrate when they DO connect dots for once! lets talk abt the REAL ep: MACHI.

-Machi’s awkward presence:  

Although I love Machi, I’ve voiced my concerns abt her character in Furuba:

It seemed that Machi was solely created to be a step in yuki’s success journey more than a character on her own right. After getting motherly love (tohru) leaving the nest, Yuki needed friendship (kakeru), then as an independent man, he needs romantic love: (Machi). This is all fine initially but I was yearning for more individuality for Machi as a character. All furuba characters were given space to be unique including minor characters like Motoko who narrated her own story each time she’s on screen & we lived it with her within two seasons & a number of eps.

 However, Machi’s background was introduced thro her brother’s exposition in se02 & that moment was a yuki/ kakeru bonding moment.

Thro kakeru’s exposition  we learned how similar yuki & machi are (the parental neglect, high expectations, cold sibling relationship, Big brother saves himself by himself, big brother pushing for redemption & the younger sibling’s still trapped silently ). While that makes for romantic appeal between the two which makes the writer’s job easier, it steals from Machi individuality.

Then her part in ep, 24 was shown & I was given hope for Machi’s individuality as her own inner voice spoke volumes abt her as a person away from yuki (romantic interest) or Kakeru (big brother). Having a lot of screen time, while can make a character more believable to the audience, is never a factor in character’s depth nor individual worth. Heck! kyo (part of the main trio & the main character’s love interest) has only ONE ep in se02 to explore his issues & by far it is my fave ep in se02 as it established kyo’s trauma, psyche, mental issues & emotional baggage better than I could ever imagine! You can DO WONDERS with little time if you knew what to do. That’s what happened with Machi this ep (half ep).

-Machi’s shines! (trauma & romance):

I was so relieved to learn that altho both Machi & yuki despised perfection as it suffocated them, the writer (thankfully) went abt a different approach with Machi. Unlike Yuki who went silent cuz he felt his voice didn’t matter as he was used as a tool, Machi went silent cuz she was was NOT needed, & not only discarded but painted as WRONG. If you admit that raising me this way is wrong, then what does this make me? What should I do with myself? I’m wrong! boring, a failure, & a presumed killer!! all while I was absolutely doing my best! all while I was having good intentions! It is devastating but It makes Machi real. A character on her own right with her own trauma, struggle, pain & outlook on life. Although, the writer made the whole yuki/Machi meeting orchestrated by Kakeru to quickly make the two siblings one step closer, it worked cuz kakeru chose to not interfere after setting the scene. He played a subtle mach maker & tried to find happiness for his sister silently. Kakeruy is yuki’s best buddy & Machi becoming the girlfriend, the trio will have to hang out more which will slowly but surely warm Machi towards Kakeru. While the flat visit is the part where Machi open the lid to Yuki with a spark of romance at the end, the chalk scene is the romantic part! Not only did Yuki noticed her panic & saved her by breaking a piece of chalk, she secretly remembered his promise! “ lets make footprints on the snow”. The snow that was another source of anxiety attack, is now sth she looks forward to & prays for! Truly romantic!!! Well-done writer.

Side Notes:

I know furuba is shoujo & it’s abt love, but C’mon! where did Nao/ Motoko come from??!! XDD Who is left without love interest? Kyo’s rejected fangirl loved by one of kyo’s buddies? The maids in love with Akito? Momiji? Who does Kimi love besides money? XD

Yuki once observed that kyo makes tohru happy with small things, Today he did the same! A broken piece of chalk.

Yuki/ Machi romantic scenes contrast Yuki/ tohru forced romantic scene at the earlier seasons. There is no lame cringy lines like “ I’ll kidnap you & go to a vacation” or kissing a ribbon. There is NO acting or pretentious lines. Here a piece of chalk did the trick, an understanding of her tears & a head pat, a promise to walk on snow together! Congratulations Yuki, You made it into romantic boyfriends category! XD. also, good writing!

The Bra scene is the real comedy in the ep.

Arisa’s “ kyon, we won’t forgive you if you hurt tohru” is gold cuz kyo WILL. When it’s time to confess he knew kyoko & she HATES him & doesn’t forgive him, tohru would be hurt! Even if she wasn’t in love with kyo!!! Knowing your beloved’s last words were hateful is painful!! Add to this that tohru loves kyo & would be struggling between forgiving him or not!! Add to this that kyo might NOT want to be forgiven!!

“ I won’t forgive you”. kyo’s haunting reminder that he’s unforgivable is now shared by kyoko, yuki, Hana & Arisa!! 

look, you might argue that furuba’s romantic writing might be a bit awkward with all sorts of romantic couples, age gaps, the need for everybody to be in love one way or the other & so on, but the traumatic behavioral writing is the best!!!!! I was never disappointed with how Takaya write abused traumatized children’s behavior. One of my fave scenes is yuki/ kyo in the stairs in se02 where kyo lashed out on yuki & yuki was over it. While that scene was rightfully celebrated for yuki’s triumphant attitude as he got over his trauma, I love it for the realistic trauma filled attitude of kyo, all charged with kyoko’s flashback! He’s in deep & he’s all by himself! Kyo will hurt tohru cuz he loves her just like how kazuma hurt him by forcefully taking his bracelet cuz he loves him. Kyo will be thinking it is for the best, who would want to be with someone that kyoko of all ppl hates!

 I’ll tolerate all the weird love couples in furuba, but the moment trauma is written weakly I’ll drop the show. There is NO way, kyo will confess kyoko’s lines then go “sorry abt that tohru, we’re good?” 

Back to Machi, I really hope that her trauma isn’t merely wrapped up cuz yuki loved her. Furuba was never abt love heals, it is abt love helps. We might not see more of her trauma for reasons of space, or not related to the current plot lines, but I really hope we hear her talk abt herself with yuki even few lines. Although, I feel that the focus now will be on setting her for yuki’s next stage in character development: honesty in the love confession. He’ll tell her abt the curse as the trailer hinted at. That’s their first love life struggle. But if I were to take a guess, it will be dealt with quickly like her trauma. She loves yuki dearly & as long as he walks with her in snow (human or rat, lol), it’s all good. <3

Hior’s mom is love.

Kagura’s new style is love! she isn’t dressed overly cutely anymore, but had a more comfortably style & I love her hair! also her friendship with Isuzu! <3. I wish Isuzu would really know there are ppl worried abt her in her life. Haru isn’t the only one.

Akito put Isuzu in the cat room, didn’t she? The place she left is similar to the place young Kazum wandered to in se01, ep25. & those scissors....

I never thought that the mere sight of shigure’s face will disgust me. XD. I still find him so intriguing, but yeah need time to get over the fact that he slept with Ren & counted it even with Akito, then slept with Akito afterwards! EWWW! so disgusting & I’m here to see this drama escalate!

Yuki / Machi moment was interrupted! XD It’s not fun when it happened to you, yuki? XD.

[tenaciouspeacesandwich]

PSA: Online Safety

Ok so normally I don’t post personal stuff on here, but I saw something today that made me remember this and I knew I had to post it somewhere. 

When I was 14, I was really into digital art and online forums where people could post and discuss their paintings/drawings. As someone w/adhd and social anxiety, the internet was somewhere I felt I could be myself and be in control of my social interactions. It wasn’t as intimidating as making friends or talking to people in real life, and I built genuine social skills on there. However, I wasn’t aware of how dangerous these digital communities could be.

I had (still do) a really great relationship with my parents growing up, and they made sure to have the discussion with me about stranger danger and how you should never give away personal info online, all the classics. I never really hid anything I did on the computer from them, and they trusted me completely. They monitored our internet that was considered acceptable by most parenting standards (i.e. server blockers for adult content, etc.). But none of that mattered when I met someone on a discussion board who convinced me to meet up with them irl.

Obviously, looking back on it now years later, it was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done. Even at the time, I remember being a little scared when this person asked me to meet them at a public park. They were one of my online ‘art buddies’, ppl who critiqued and gave advice for your submissions, and we’d ‘known’ each other for a while. They complimented my sketches, gave me great tips on how to draw better, and I was really inspired by all the works they posted. Then the conversations meandered naturally from our posts to our lives, casual talk like how we hated homework but liked our teachers, our siblings were annoying, etc. 

WARNING: DESCRIPTION OF GROOMING AHEAD

Then, one day they messaged me complementing my self-portrait that I had posted. It was by no means realism, more of a cartoon version of myself, but their flattering words were enough to make my introverted,14-year-old self swoon. I was so shy in school, no one even knew i was there half the time, let alone told me i was beautiful. It made me feel special, valued, less alone. Looking back now, I see it for what it was. But at the time, those words only made me trust this person more. So when they mentioned that they lived in my city and asked if I wanted to meet up at a public park, it wasn’t a huge red flag to me. It was a public place, right? It’s not like they were asking for my social or my address or anything. And they wouldn’t be picking me up in their car, the park was close enough to my school that I could bike the 4 miles there myself. We were just gonna hang out at the picnic tables for a couple of hours, no big deal. 

Even though I’d seen this park before, I’d never actually been to it. My parents never took us there, and I always just assumed it was because there were other, closer parks to our house that were just as nice. It didn’t seem sketchy to me as I rode up closer, other than the fact that some of the playground equipment was rusty and the swing set had overgrown weeds on it. 

I remember this day so clearly even though it’s been 10 years now: I was pedaling up this mini-hill that went thru a neighborhood, and the park was at the bottom of the hill on the other side. I remember stopping at the top of the hill to catch my breath for a second on the sidewalk, and I looked down at the park. From where I was standing, I could see the picnic tables and the parking lot. My friend had been messaging me on my phone, and had been updating me ever since I left school on my bike. They said they were already there and had been waiting for me for the past 10 minutes, and that when I arrived I’d be able to find them really easily because they had a red convertible in the parking lot, and they had managed to get us a table that we didn’t have to share. I texted them when I left, asking if there were a lot of people at the park that day. Their reply was really distinct, because instead of ‘yeah, kinda’ or ‘not really’, they texted back; ‘Super crowded, some kind of birthday party at the gazebo- All kinds of moms lol’ . Reading that gave me assurance that I didn’t know I needed, and that’s why I remember the dread and fear I felt when I looked down at the park.

 There was no one there.

No party, no kids, nothing- the gazebo was empty, the playground deserted, everything was just quiet. 

Except for this one man sitting at a picnic table, who had to be at least my father’s age. There was a gray sedan parked in the lot (i’m assuming his, but I don’t know), and the man was looking down at his phone as he sat at the table.

I texted my ‘friend’ again, still hidden by the garage wall of someone’s house where my bike was parked at the top of the hill. My ‘friend’ was supposed to be a guy my age who was wearing a pink floyd t shirt and black jeans. I asked him, ‘is there food at the party?’

I got an instant reply; ‘Yeah, a grillout- smells amazing but i don’t think they’ll let us have anything lol’. 

I turned around and got on my bike, looking over my shoulder every 5 minutes, terrified that this guy might have seen and followed me. Thankfully, there was never anyone behind me, and I didn’t stop until I got home. I went to my room and deleted my entire account from that website, blocking my ‘friend’ first and deleting all of our conversation history in a panic before making sure every trace of me was gone forever. I sat there in my room for a while just staring at the wall. 

I don’t know for sure if the man that I saw had anything to do with the person I was messaging- I don’t know him or why he was at the park. All of these things are connections I drew from what I knew via the website and our conversation, and what I could see with my own eyes. But more powerful than any of that was the immense, strong gut feeling I had wash over me when I was about to meet that person. Something just felt very, very wrong. I was still happy and excited to meet them, but that happiness was soured by that innate reaction of dread and foreboding that just screamed at me to go away. 

I never told my parents about this, and still haven’t to this day. I know they would blame themselves for me being lured by this person (if that was in fact what happened), and that is the last thing I want- they did everything right.

That’s my entire point in posting this: my parents did everything by the book, took the experts advice, had an open and trusting relationship with me, and monitored our internet access. But I still made this happen, I still got my way, and I’m convinced that it’s by sheer luck that I’m still here today. I got up the courage to ask them one day, about 3 years after all this, when we were driving by that park why they never took us there as kids. My parents told me that park was notorious for drug use and crime, and that there were no working security cameras anywhere nearby. 

There have been so many people in my situation who unfortunately never came home. Please please please be careful who you talk to on the internet, and be even more careful about the excuses you tell yourself to justify why it’s ok for you to be communicating with strangers. I convinced myself that this was just a fun meet up with a friend, that it was safe because it was on a public property, and that it was ok for me to go by myself. I will remember this experience for the rest of my life. 

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

[unproduciblesmackdown]

comet, moon, pluto, aquila, protostar

Thank You vm

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?

lmaooo oh you know at any given time i’m weaving this rich tapestry of continual frustrations lol.....i’d say i’m in an Upswing Period of [simmering frustration levels closer to the surface] lately too lol like earlier in the week i pushed through a day or two there more casually but then it was like ah jeez here comes the malaise. more specifically today, even just before sitting down to answer this, i emerged from the bathroom to find there was a “dog has pooped inside despite having been outside within the last 10 min” shituation, which was wonderful.....annoyed from Waking by “smh at not being able to adjust my nocturnality, still frustrated about the near success of last friday being thwarted by the dead of night hammering debacle,” & regular Antagonizing Audio issues, aka being stressed by both the [loud, alarming] type sound & the [gross textural misophonia hell] type.....earlier i was like “where is the dish sponge” (still don’t know) & went to get a new, packaged one which had been in a drawer, but that one was gone too, good that there’s no pressing need to wash dishes rn i guess.....still struggling with the “well i guess i’m trying to put myself out there Socially” attempt to find relevant public discords, being generally overwhelmed as actually talking to randos in a group is A Lot & in theory it’s like well you meet someone Specific you’d enjoy talking to & branch off from there but unfortunately you can’t just skip to that step, also i do not genuinely Expect to get to that step either way, also i am not easily finding servers in the 1st place b/c it’s like, well i talk about Interests but what am i interested in? who knows. don’t do art “seriously” enough to rly wanna discuss it much, thought abt Language Learning but one i found wants you to have a verified account lmao like, no thanks. in theory i enjoy Socializing some but in practice it is sure a trial & i have not said anything to anyone anywhere yet, just a “well, not sure what else i could do here situation,” in theory take up an In Person hobby / group to make it all easier but that’s not happening. which, i was also Frustrated remembering oh right i spent a year as measured by my personal age in 1 location, both Pandemic & other [society] problems, & speaking of Interests & Hobbies not having them, i was also >:| over something having kicked in my Math Sensibilities (aka that i like math) & wondering like, would i have enjoyed getting more into math / some particular application, who knows, same but also even more so re: other things i get the sense i’m quite Into, like learning languages & ~performing arts~, which, i at least took math / math related classes into college level courses, which is not true for those other things (took a Language Class: never, took a theatre / drama class: for 1/4 of the schoolyear in 7th grade, & prior to that, just did a scene or two of a play in english class 4th grade, & the approx decade extracurricular of ballet, which is related but of course a different thing. anyhow, annoyed that i Simply Do Not Know & hardly see opportunities to find out on the horizon, although who knows.....which is related to being frustrated about [Society] some more like, thinking about “boy how different would it be if people were guaranteed the right to Essentials For Life like housing, food, medical care, both electricity & the internet Now A Days...” like, agonizing What If there, it is all so unnecessary that It Is Like This......just now someone made an unnecessary Post lmfao thank you xkit.......oh right, i was Frustrated, with an emphasis In Aro / Ace, about Media & Life, what else is new & then, you know, musings on The Theoretical Future & One’s Personal Past that would become even more of a like, audioscape: therapy session topic, these are frustrating things. and all of this answer has been stuff i remember getting Frustrated about in the past 24 hours. Also!!! that last night i was like, i want to play scrabble, so i looked up an online game but the Computer settings are a nightmare like, as far as i could tell the Difficulty settings were mostly attuned to Average Word Length but it was like, yeah you’re playing against this opponent given this effective total familiarity with the most obscure / archaic shit in the scrabble dictionary, not even simply the like, q words / two letter words ppl might happen to know specifically for the purposes of scrabble. there was also no “new game” button?? just had to refresh the page? smh. oh lmfao! also! you Know i was frustrated thinking about Billions, the series / interest that antagonizes you, jokes on you when you hone in on the Quant where it’s like, is he just meant to be the guy who sucks, plus he’s got depression....suppose they do at least handle him w/some sympathy / nonzero Care for this Char acter, but smh at sighing about [bracing yourself for anything promising (cough riawin) to spiral into disaster one way or another, whether it turns into a joke or plot device or just something introduced / built up / demolished for ambient drama/conflict].....what else is new. the periodic cycles of Billions Thoughts lol. was just frustrated at a video’s Editing Cadence basically lmfao. i also find it grating when the word “the jab” is used in tweets re: vaccination, which i just saw, presumably in the same sort of way where i automatically dislike the phrase To Be Fair or referring to food/eating with “fill / filling” or any variants lmfao, or earnest use of the description “hearty”......some words i hate the sound of no matter what, some i hate to hear used in a particular phrase / context......need to simply stop doing things in the middle of answering this b/c it will inevitably involve Frustrations lmfaooo. oh also i was annoyed to wake up to a clear sky. where’s that overcast atmosphere

Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

i am not, but i’ve been considering it! just inconvenient b/c a) i gotta like, choose what book/s to read, & b) i have to read via laptop, which is kind of a pain, & c) like with everything, i always tend to basically read stuff all at once, but i’m also a slow reader lmao, so it’s like, okay, i’m probably basically devoting days on end to Reading Through whatever.....

Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?

another classic Fascinating Answer of “i dunno” lol, i’ve never really had a go to answer for this or anything that’s particularly leapt out.....plus re: how i tend to feel nervous with on the spot socializing, the concept of like “if you could have dinner with someone” is too much lmfao like, a waste of time, i’d simply Be Nervous my way completely through it. the only way i could think of things is like, here i go giving someone an interview, i guess, and whomst tf would i feel Prepared to talk to lmfao. relevant to interests it’s like well of course you could ask w. roland things the in depth secret jared questions, or Any questions about quant n billions, but then it’s also like, well, there’s the questions I already have an answer for lol & either you have the same answer or i have a mini monologue, not like i don’t speak in mini monologues all the time if i have something to say at all, and my Questions go like that too lmfao, a disaster already trying to ask people about pertinent Information......never able to think of things re: people who have died, i suppose there’s fun answers re: like, getting lost / unknown Historical Info......when it comes to meeting people i don’t really consider it much in advance b/c i am nervous about everything & aware that any interacting is a Challenge lmfao. whenever these things actually happen, it’s hardly always a disaster, but i’m just improvising in the end. also, i could meet people i actually know but have never met, i.e. you, who i talk to but we are Virtual & Pandemic’d & etc & so on. but i suppose that’s kind of a given lol

Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?

i think movies are less Involved for me, like, even if it takes me 3x their runtime (or longer) to watch any videos thanks to getting distracted & stuff, still quicker than i read a book, & unless i’m watching something for the first time and/or really wanting to properly pay attention, i can do other things while putting a movie on, whereas if i’m reading that’s the One Thing i can be doing. but overall i’m like “media, what media” whichever format lol like. haven’t consumed things, don’t often think of specific works i want/plan to consume, don’t often get around to it, etc. classique.....

Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.

speaking of classic, me struggling to recall 101 info about myself or answer not that out there Questions, but when it’s like “alright hater what are you disgruntled about now” it’s like, Deep Inhale lmfao, but [are you okay? Is Anyone].jpeg on that one as well, we are out here......uh i’m sure i’ve said it before but i’m around 5′11″? maybe 6 ft tall but that might be overdoing it. sort of Average Tall but i am always literally looking down on people lmao.....and bumping my head into a low hanging light fixture around here.....

[legalmargamind]

Submission post: Mission Report : The Night Camila Killed Me

Okay, so I was super nervous for this entire thing! I was already having an emotional night because my date and I had been fighting ever since she landed a few hours before we were suppose to be at the venue. I decided to dress it down a bit because I wasn’t sure what C would be wearing so I wore tight ripped jeans, 6in Timbs and a long khaki coat over my blue blouse because it was cold af outside. My girl was wearing a black jumpsuit and a long black coat. I opted for medium makeup because I intended on dancing and enjoying all of the performances but really focused on the eyes because we all know she has a thing for green eyes.  Anyway…I watched her perform and her corset outfit on stage had me drooling like a typical fangirl. Her vocals were on point and she’s such an entertainer! I wasn’t sure I would still get to meet her but while I was dancing to Charlie Puth, I got the text from my connect to start heading backstage because I had less than 10mins to say hi. I dragged my girl behind me literally while we were being escorted backstage and when I saw C walking towards us through a sea of people, my breath caught in my throat. She looked like an angel from heaven. She was a tiny bit hoarse (sexy) and even though her handlers were watching the clock she made me feel like we had all night to talk 😏.  So, I introduced myself and she gave me and my girl the biggest hugs and she complimented my perfume and asked what I was wearing which is funny because her wifey, Ariana Grande and I wear the same fragrance lol. The first thing I noticed was my gaydar sizzling and pinging off the charts but maybe it was wishful thinking. I also didn’t realize she was so tiny but then again I was in heels and she is like 5'2ish lol.  After she hugged me we were ushered to a corner where tons of security and random people were walking by us and her people were hovering like secret agents. The entire time we were moving, she kept her hand on my lower back (like the daddy she is 😏). Lmao, so she asked where I was from and I told her and my date kinda hung back a little so she didn’t really interact with her much.   She complimented my eyes (score for me) and was so charming throughout our chat that I’m sure I was swooning. I told her I loved her set, she sounds amazing live and I had already pre-ordered her album and she seemed so genuinely surprised and grateful. I was like stop it you’re amazing and she hugged me 😏.  Juicy bits! OK, so I said she was talented and brave and she thanked me and asked what I did and I said I’m an ER nurse and she said that was really cool. And I was like eh some days lol. She asked what I did for fun because it must be stressful being a nurse and I smirked (I’m so glad you asked that Ms. Cabello lol) and I said I pretty much live on YouTube and Tumblr (😉) and she was like I love Tumblr! She said she doesn’t have much time to post like she used to but she still checks it out. I asked her if she follows herself on there and she said it’s weird to search for herself. I said she needs to check out the fanblrs and shipper blogs. I made it a point to say that I follow all the big Camila fanpages and shipper Tumblrs and started rattling off all of the popular Camren pages I could think of and she said yeah I think I’ve seen some of those but she wasn’t sure 😏. O.M.G she stalks Camren pages people!!! I knew she did! She said she’s so grateful for the fans that support her and share everything with her and she’ll always be grateful for all of us. Awwwwww! (side note: I think it’s interesting how comfortable she was with me bringing up Camren so nonchalantly like she didn’t bat an eyelash or try to change the subject at all. She was just like yeah I’ve seen those like it was something so natural.) So, I decided to turn it up a few notches and I brushed my hand on her waist and complimented her corset and said she looks so hot and I was drooling seeing her on stage and my date was jealous. She dished it right back and said she better treat me right or she’s gonna steal me away.  (ppl I almost died!!) She asked how long we were dating and I said we’re not dating yet because it’s complicated (it really is) and she said if it’s true love and I feel it then just go for it because we were both beautiful and she could tell watching us walking together that we had chemistry. This is when I fell for her (again), she said you just gotta go for it. Lol love advice from C herself! I said I was hoping to have our first actual date tonight after we left the concert and she held my hand and asked if I followed her on IG. (I nodded) and she said dm me and tell me how it goes. (ya’ll I died again) so I said of course! I said thank you for being so supportive and she said squeezed my hand and interlaced our fingers and hugged me again. I dunno why but I whispered I love you in her ear and she said I love you too and I stg we started dating from that moment lol jk of course. Her handlers came over and said she needed to go and she waved them off and said just a couple more minutes.  She asked me my age and said she thought I was like 22 and I was like awww thanks (she was just being nice) lol. I said she made my night and she thanked me and signed my ticket stub because I literally had nothing else for her to sign. She took a picture with us and I said she owed me a signature on her album and I’ll have it with me next time I see her in concert and she said she’ll take me out to dinner if she misses the opportunity to sign her album for me (so suave but did Camila Cabello say she’ll take me out? ☠️) and I blushed after I came back from dying again.  Her handler came back again and she said she had to go so we hugged again and she kissed my cheek and moved so super fast that she almost kissed me on the lips like it was at the corner of my mouth and I froze and she just smirked and said oh Im sorry and waved at my date and said I love you and waved as she was being pulled away and then she turned around and winked and that my dear fam is when I squealed and died a final time. My girl and I were being escorted back out to the front back to our seats but not before we saw Kelly Clarkson with her security and she smiled at us!! Omg such an amazing experience!!  I will forever stan C who is a beautiful angel, who was a true to life dork yet so suave and a sweetheart and I can still smell her perfume on my coat and I will probably hang it up in my closet with plastic on it and not wear it again lol.  I really didn’t find out anything we didn’t already know but Im hesitant to say she’s gay. At the very least she’s bisexual because if she’s straight then I’m a straight lol. She was sweet and comfortable even with me blatantly flirting with her and her energy was very strong but not overbearing which is what you’d expect to feel when a top is in your space. I think she’ll come out on her own terms but I would be surprised if she does address her sexuality publicly this early in her solo career and I would be surprised if she does address herself as straight because everything I experienced and being a lover of the ladies myself says she’s not even close to being straight. My gaydar has never been wrong ever!  I’m so glad I had the opportunity to meet her and I hope to meet her again in the future because I felt so warm next to her and she has this charm and sparkle about her that I’ve never experienced before. She’s beautiful,  present and supportive of the fandom and I wish her nothing but success in everything. 💝

[syntymatitahna]

Just idk venting and ordering my thoughts don’t mind me. S pls don’t interact with this post if you’re still lurking thx (it’s sorta stressful)

In a way I find it kind of funny that billdip would be the dealbreaker ship because, yeah, Dipper was 12 for most of the series but like… He wasn’t introduced to me as a 12yo. And this former friend knows this, probably doesn’t remember though.

(I mean the point still stands that I don’t really find shipping billdip or the like to be like all that morally reprehensible anyway even if i totally understand why ppl would be uncomfy with it and they’re absolutely allowed to be and choose their company accordingly)

But yeah, she knows, maybe doesn’t remember, that I read a bunch of billdip fic before ever watching the series. I don’t think I even looked the characters up first.

Like I was hanging on IMVU and got to talking with some guy who mentioned shipping billdip, talked about it a bit and linked some aged up shipping art

And I was like “lol that seems like something I could dig”

And I guess it was a while later that I was bored enough to go looking for fic.

I didn’t watch GF until I started thinking that I really wanted to know the backstory, I believe. By that time I’d already read several fics.

So yeah. But idk. It’s true that I don’t find whatever like sebaciel shipping or something, especially morally objectionable? But also, I don’t care about ships with like preteens – I mean this in the sense of, I’m not interested in them in a way that when I hear about one I get curious. I’ve seen sebaciel and ereri and stuff like that mentioned a lot in tags in ship hate and ship posi posts due to having hanged out in the billdip tag a lot when i was actively shipping it, but i barely even know what they are… Like… Is sebaciel from that black butler show? And ereri is from snk i think? Maybe???

So i think it’s entirely possible that if I had seen GF before reading fic I wouldn’t have shipped it.

However… It’s also entirely possible that I would have shipped it even seeing the show first! I mean honestly… Bill is so fucking juvenile… And small… And not an adult human (or near-human? humanoid? organic humanoid? I’m not sure where the “too close” line goes for me but Bill’s a fucjing triangle that’s definitely far enough)… Like… It’s a bit like how I can ship Bob/Sunstreaker even tho it’s technically bestiality and if they were a human and the human’s pet instead of robots I’m pretty fucking sure shipping them wouldn’t even cross my mind lmao

But if someone else is shipping like sebaciel, my view on it is still “you do you, I don’t really care”. I just don’t give enough of a damn to really be bothered. Presuming the shippers really do have pedophilic feelings, shipping sebaciel is still the better option. So I don’t care.

Like, urrh, yes a child predator could use something like that to groom a child but not having skeevy shipping content doesn’t mean they’re out of means. It just means others might be out of less harmful outlets? I doubt all shippers who don’t age up are pedos anyway, just like not all incest shippers feel incestuous desire. (By far, probably.)

I don’t even get where in the tits the assumption that i’d involve myself with pedos even comes from like thanks for the vote of trust, seems like i really am untrustworthy because it always comes down to people being incapable of giving me the benefit of the doubt and taking things I say and reblog in good faith.

Not that it really surprises me. I know I’m unreliable so *shrug emoji*

It was the same last time, with, let’s just call him V. “I’m gonna give you the chance to explain yourself!” Fuck that, I shouldn’t have to constantly defend myself to you just because you have no faith in me. That’s not my problem. The whole situation was stressing me the fuck out. So while I could have explained, I refused to. And that was the end of that, more or less. I’m still somewhat salty about it all, clearly.

This is why I said Kitty is one of the best people I’ve had the privilege of meeting. She doesn’t make me feel like I’m friends with a fucking district attorney.

During the last year I’ve, honestly, started to think I’d like to contact V again, but I still have too much strong negative feelings about a lot of things so it’s better I don’t. Maybe in a couple years. I mean, I feel better about it all now even tho I’m still salty. So maybe in a couple years it’ll be fine. We’ll see.

I miss brainstorming with him. It was the best thing, and he got so into shipping my OCs too (or at least gave me that impression) and it’s still something that makes me feel confident in having fun with my characters even if some people would think they’re mary sues.

So yeah, uh, very mixed feelings about that lmao.

Siiiigh. Honestly the probably worst (or best?) thing is that every time this happens (a friendship breakup that wasn’t because of the other being super racist or ableist or just generally a shitty FUCK) I realise that I have in the past done the same thing that this time was the problem (for me).

With Mely I constantly hassled her about what she posted and reblogged. It wasn’t that I didn’t have faith in her, it was that she wasn’t as SJ-y as I was and it showed sometimes because she said things that I thought were just SJ 101 Things You Shouldn’t Say, Or Even Think, Really (lol). But I still hassled her constantly, which I can imagine was very stressful. It’s no wonder we drifted apart and she eventually just stopped talking with me.

And over the last few days I realised that I was very judgemental-like over one thing V liked, and it seemed to be important to him, like shipping is to me. Well… At least I’m learning.

I really should take the matter up with someone whose opinions on the thing V liked have more value than mine, really figure out where the issue lies. I can’t really think it’s inherently bad, it would wipe away too many things that seem quite harmless? Not that I think liking it is morally reprehensible anyway, just that some aspects are problematic (‘have problems’). But the way I see it it’s more the terminology than necessarily the trope itself? Like, the terminology thing seems pretty straightforward.

But yeah I should take myself by the nape and stop being a damn wuss. So what if I get a pissy response or get called a freak again. That just comes with the territory, I guess. I just kinda wish I could use a sideblog for sending asks rather than my main, because if the blogger sets the table for recreational bullies like wwc and that other blog the name of which i forgot did, i’d really rather it wasn’t my main they’d come to. This blog is too personal. Suppose that’s my mistake for making my main my personal.

Or for having an about like that.

[hellotvv]

Life continues to be fairly interesting haha. I had a pretty decent weekend overall. I believe on Friday, I went to the fair with my friend Brent, Elizabeth, Kristy, and Jessica. The fair in SB was honestly not bad! I had fun going on rides with my friends, eating fair food, and just walking/chatting. Later that night, we had game night at my friend’s Brents place. Julian put on the project some really fun party game that everyone could just connect and play using the phone! Was really fun and I plan on buying it, so when ppl come to my place, we have idk fun games to play instead of just watching youtube on my chromecast LOL. I think Bryan, Olivia, Elizabeth, Brent, Julian, Kristy, Jessica, and me all played and had a great night. On Saturday, it was a bit more simple. I had a really busy day on Saturday, since I had to get some studying done for my midterm on Monday for minority literature class. I knew my cousin was visiting UCSB this weekend, since she said she was. But I’m surprised she didn’t hit me up to show her around. It would have been actually inconvenient if she did :( since ideally I would have the whole day to show her a ton of stuff. But I had a music appreciation concert at 7 PM that I had to go to at night, and I had to study quite a bit. Surprisingly, she did not hit me up at all, and only ended up snapping me that she was at SB later that night haha. She was in one of the freshmen dorms, so I’m guessing she already had a friend that let her stay in her dorm and showed her around :O. I was a bit worried that if I didn’t show her all the cool stuff about SB, my cousin wouldn’t be too interested in attending and choose UC Merced in the end... ;-;!! Anyways, ended up going to concert that night, was super boring, left during intermission since didn’t have to stay till end just needed to stay long enough to write a paper on it. Then I went to library and studied with Kristy and Jessica until like 1 AM. Went home, knocked out, and idk. Sunday, I think I got lunch with Brent and Elizabeth, then I somehow procrastinated the day away, but pulled a strong all nighter to finish studying for my minority lit class lol. The midterm went okie not bad, and then I studied for my music appreciation class quiz that was at 12 PM today. Think I did pretty good on that, and passed out for a while. Got dinner with Brent, and talked to him. We talked about how it’s already week 5 of our last quarter of our 3rd year... Graduation is coming up and much scary ;-;... I asked him what he’s gonna do after grad, and he immediately answered about Elizabeth. Since Elizabeth lives in Washington, but attends UCSB, and I wonder what she’ll do after graduation. Like would she move to California or find work back in Washington, who knows :O Brent said he doesn’t know what she’ll do, but he does suggest that she’ll prob move to LA, since LA is way cooler than Washington haha. Anyways, I did ask him oh man what if we all drift apart after graduation. Since Bryan lives in Thousand Oaks and is kinda far, Rickie lives in Washington, and etc. Brent said it kinda sucks, but it’ll happen. He did say that we’ll still hang out, since he can always drive down to OC and it’s only like 45 mins. I also said that I could always go up to LA and hang too. Thankfully Kristy and Jessica will be nearby, and Henry lives near Brent. So it’s not like we’ll all drift apart. Just kinda will be diff not being able to hang out with the friends I hang out every week with anymore, but I guess that’s life yo. I’ve gone through it from going from HS to College, and I’m sure the friendships will stay strong. It’ll be those friendships where even tho you don’t see each other every day or maybe even text that often, when you do hangout it’s like no time has passed :) Idk life yo.

Onto another topic, my cousin revealed to me that she actually SIRed to UCSB today!!! Woo, I told her we needed to have a celebration dinner or something together. She told me that she needed a bunch of life advice haha for college. I remember being in the same position worrying the same things like if I’ll make friends, what classes to take, and etc. She was super thankful and kept telling me how much she loved me, when I offered her advice LOL. I just want her to be successful and learn from my mistakes and become a doctor for me, incase I don’t make it LOL! So maybe this weekend if time permits, I’ll meet up with her and talk :D But I’m glad she idk got convinced, will prob have to ask her how did she get convinced lolol. I have a 66.6666% success rate now 2/3!! For the rest of my week, it’ll pretty much just be a bunch of studying for my midterm on Friday. Afterwards, I’ll be going home for the weekend for my mom’s bday and possibly to shoot with Sabrina and Cindy!! Woo :D haven’t seen/shot with either of them in a long time~ They both hit me up to shoot, so I feel special ;-; and wanted! 

Overall, life is going okie can’t complain. Tried to eat slightly more now and work out too, so I build some more muscle. Uhm, I’ve kinda been in a pretty content mood nowadays. Like I’m back to a phase where I’m happy with what I have, not too stressed, have some stuff to look forward to to keep me going, and yeah. 

The idea of relationships and love is something that I contemplate about a lot. I obviously always liked the idea of a SO, and I think that actually this year/4th year would probably be the last best times for a while to date a girl. Since I’ll still be in school and don’t look poorly in the dating scene, if I don’t have a job or idk. I’ll still be supported by my parents, but old enough to do cool things/go on adventures like going to Vegas this summer. I have a nice place and live alone, since I still attend school in SB, and not crazy busy, but have enough free time to spend with a SO. But the problem is, I haven’t really met anyone that really caught my interest... I mean kinda Amandi for a bit, but after finding out about what type of person she is, obv not gonna interact with her too much lmao. Maybe this sounds cocky or whatever, but I COULD date Chloe, if I truly wanted to. I mean Chloe is a decent looking girl, she’s fairly nice, and I could see myself in an okay relationship with her. But the problem is, I like her mostly as a friend, and just not that into her... Like I’m not that physically attracted to her, not that she’s bad looking or anything, and I’m not that idk mentally attracted to her. We just don’t have that much in common, and she prob only likes me for my looks?? Who knows. The thing is, I suppose a lot of ppl my age are kinda dating for fun or maybe some are serious. So it’s not like I have to date someone with the intention of long term commitment, I could just date and have fun with her for a while. Who knows, she might be wanting just the same thing. But the problem is, idk it’s just not me tho. Like let’s say we do date and have fun together spending time together, but what if I meet some cooler girl that I’m more attracted to while I’m dating her. Like I suppose the right answer is to idk keep it professional and stay with Chloe or the other option is to dump Chloe and date the new girl. But idk then I could be potentially hurting her if I did that and I wouldn’t want that. I’d be kinda leading her on, and it’s something I don’t want to do to ppl. Like idk I feel like if I date someone that I’m not totally into, it’s a disservice to them and myself, since they deserve better tbh. I think everyone deserves someone who truly cares about them and wants them, isn’t settling, or etc etc etc. So I don’t wanna date someone if I’m not completely into them, since they deserve someone who truly do and someone who thinks they’re amazing. I would want the same for myself. So I guess that’s a small dilemma that I have. I like the idea of dating someone, now’s probably one of the best possible times to do so, and I could. But I like being serious about someone, I don’t wanna hurt anyone by dating them if I’m not really into them, and I obv want to date someone that I am really into and would be proud of showing them off. So yeah, small dilemma, I guess the right choice is to not lead Chloe on too much, and prob not pursue anything with her. I suppose all I can and should be doing is continue to be chill and content/happy hanging out with my cool friends, keep myself busy with school/hobbies, and eventually I’ll meet someone who I’m truly into and they’ll hopefully be into me too? :O

That’s it for now... Back to writing my music appreciation paper, and The Flash episode tomorrow is gonna be lit af...