#and god everything is just so expensive
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I am 26 years old and ngl guys I've been feeling a lil behind with life rn like im literally just a barista at a coffee shop and its fun and kinda easy (for me, im not working at a large chain, just a local chain) but like idk I kinda want an Adult ™ job with like benefits and weekends off
#is that like impossible?#and god everything is just so expensive#like tbh my ideal salary is like $60k a year I dont want to make fuck loads of money#I just dont wanna worry about life and support myself#idk im kinda debating just going into school again but im like really scared because im smart in the sense that I learn quick and catch on#easily but im not book smart like math and science and shit it confuses and overwhelms me#like I know 26 is young but god I just feel so old and so late to the game#is this my life??? retail and customer service jobs til I die? and its fucking scary because my grandma is like 65 and she's poor and like#she'll never retire she's literally gonna work til she's dead and that's so scary to me man idk#speaking!
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toot toot!
#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me#he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious#lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy#i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN#it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close#suntails#i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card#and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier#then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week#so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad
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I was just mentally writing a tumblr post abt how I need that iphone asap so I can preview a chat when I don't wanna answer (if I archived them I don't get notifications) and then I was like — wait.. I don't have read-reciepts on, they won't know I read their messages 😭😭😭
#driving school teacher texted me and I am doing NAWT ok#especially since this whole test thing his getting closer#drivers licenses are so incredibly expensive in germany guys most people pay 3K on average#and basically everyone fails the first driving test because it's difficult URGHHH#i successfully ignored I'm getting my license for like a month now why is he texting me#can't i just keep avoiding life and everything important#lately struggling a lot with the future again which is NOT great but SO great for my atsumu fic passion#i thought to myself a few weeks ago “i know what I wanna do now it's lowkey hard to channel that existential dread energy for yn”#well and god was like “i gotchu babygirl”#and suddenly my anxiety and fear and sadness is back like never before#and i keep getting content about life milestones or things I need to take care of for thing a and b#thing a; video - drivers license is getting even harder now in 2025 so I should hurry#thing b; video - college/university things and taxes and retirement stuff#like wow thanks for telling me this this is actually REALLY useful but this is also lowkey giving me a panic attack so no I won't like nor#save this video because I don't want this stuff on my fyp#i wanna keep practicing escapism otherwise I might breakdown#ok anyway#so this is really helpful for my fic ! yay !#😆#😶#the voices are speaking
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do u guys think jack ever let members of the torchwood team fall asleep on him in the backseat. because i do.
#they have a stressful job and they are all sleep deprived look at me. they are passing out on him and he's just staying. so still.#like someone whose cat is on their lap.#how this ends differs for everyone because if its like gwen she's going to wake up probably and not even be fazed by her doing it#but like owen wakes up. makes a face. 'why does everything smell like jack- oh god' and then flails to get off of jack.#jack ignoring his flailing with an arm draped heavily over him until owen gives up and decides if theyre doing this he's getting as comfy a#he can at jack's expense.#wait i have more for the other two#light sleeper toshiko i know this in my heart. she's constantly waking up slightly and adjusting herself and falling back asleep.#jack helping by petting her hair or rubbing the back of her neck.#ianto can and will fall asleep face completely smushed into the side of jack's neck.#okay. okay. im done. im done.#torchwood
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can russia and north korea just nuke us already this is hopeless
#sorry to be so fatalistic on main i just have zero faith in the american public atp#i just rly wanted to believe that more americans couldve used this opportunity to prove to the rest of the world that we arent all a bunch#of sensationalist/conspiracy-driven/aggressively braindead/violent/bigoted alt-right lunatics#& i never had much faith in kamala & walz to begin with obviously im incredibly cynical towards these status quo gatekeepers and the#downright impotence of the neoliberal democratic party#but this wouldve been an easy swerve away from dozens MORE of horrible awful inhumane policies that will ultimately vanquish#the quality of life for the entire american working class like myself and our already pisspoor education system and our lousy#climate change policies and impossible living standards#but no unfortunately there is no way in hell for americans to prove even a modicum of intelligence or worth we're all basically suicidal#and despite my own immense yank bashing tendencies and complete disdain for our government i really wanted this country & my ppl to defy#our own reputation of being so fucking stupid and backwards i really did. in the tiniest little place of my heart was legitimate hope#& a tiny bit of patriotism thats now been squashed completely & this was just another large-scale international humiliation that we legit#voted that guy BACK IN after everything that has happened the last four even eight years. its unbelievable.#again obviously i dont like kamala but it still wouldve been a grand opportunity to stall against what the gop is already destroying#and with push and shove we could have made slight progress forward as a country and try to protect our social programs#be it as flawed as they are and with enough support we could have strengthened them a little. make drugs less expensive. continue forward#with clean energy decreasing our use of fossil fuels even more.#protect our education system so the up and coming generations could receive higher standards of learning than what the rest of us had#NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. im too poor to continue living here and im too poor to fucking leave !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SORRY THIS WAS EXTREMELY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY LONG THANK U FOR READING IF U DID MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE MUSH RIGHT NOW SO I DONT KNOW HOW#INTELLIGIBLE THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE#and if this makes anyone mad @ all then ill just delete it cuz by god i dont need more grief and self hatred !#txt
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the last post I wrote about dog communication was mostly about body language, but I'm doggysitting my little baby stepson again (he's a grown man ((neutered,)),) (this is punctuation hell I'm in hell,) and am reminded of how attentive they are to tonal language as well. After a while, saying "good boy! :)" and "beep boop! :)" in exactly the same tone has the same effect on the dog's attitude, same with "hey, no. >:(" and "din-gus. >:(". I love the fact that when I'm tired or only half paying attention to him, I can communicate in apelike grunts and he still gets what I mean (well mostly, he can only take so many minutes of minimal attention, you see.) In these moments I've abbreviated "that's a good boy" to "zzg'aboi".
Another thing in dog language is you can say "heh heh!" without actually using your vocal chords, like just panting twice quickly, and a lot of dogs will immediately get into play mode. I just did it in my kitchen and heard dog in the other room jump up and snatch his toy off the floor. So cuteee.
#I love doggy#this doggy i'm dogsitting has a ccl tear the year after he had an acl tear in the other knee#he loves physio because it means swimming and snuggles but my god do these purebreds cost a fuckton#at least physio costs less than surgery#if it's not musculoskeletal breakdowns or cranial pressure or breathing problems thanks to genetics it's insane allergies to everything#my goal is just to adopt a small mutt from the spca but i really wish vets weren't so expensive#it's the single thing stopping me from adopting my own: vet costs#but i aim to make more money and i'll get my doggy someday#his or her name will be locust (lolo and loca for short)
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😀!!!!
#sorry i need to rant on here i’m going crazy aaaaaaaaaaaa#i’m moving to another city in october and i’ve been trying to figure out everything#bc im going from an apartment that i share with friends and a pretty decent room#to a very little room shared with people i don’t know#(well actually one of my best friends + someone i don’t know)#but figuring out what to do with every single one of my things is driving me crazy!!!#i’m trying to sell everything i don’t use anymore#and i’ve donated A TON of old clothes that i haven’t even thought about in years#i thought about hiring movers but i think is going to be too expensive for the amount of stuff i’m moving#cause it’s not that much#if i had a god damn drivers license i could just rent a car and move everything myself#BUT I CANT DRIVE#i’m gonna try to convince my friend to drive me there and i’ll pay for all the expenses#but idk if she’s gonna say yes so i’m AAAAA#anyways thank you and good nite
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growing up being denied getting what you ask for for birthdays/christmas because of x & y reasons you get older and you find yourself not able to ask for the things you want 😬
#lex waffles#or really asking for things in general#or is this just a me thing#like even non-expensive stuff i never got#so idk after a while i stopped asking for things and just accepted whatever i got which is fine whatever i'm grateful but still#even if there was things i wanted or needed#meanwhile my brother got everything he ever wanted lmfaoo#but that's not my bitterness coming out or anything#idk my brother never had any shame in asking for things even if they were mega expensive#meanwhile me who hasn't had a new phone for god knows how long & has a battery so bad i need to charge it at least twice a day#is like hmmm i can't ask for a new phone because that's too expensive#birthday saga#this is why i'm so bad at spending money because i learnt early that i needed to save money because i wouldn't be given any#and now i'm just like uh i can't spend it on this thing i need because what if i need that later lmfao#tho i shouldn't feel guilty because it's my dad who will pay for it and that's the least he can do smh
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just lost my entire analysis that I spent 3 hours on somehow even though I distinctly made a point of saving it several times to my drafts.
all that’s there are my initial jot notes after my computer crashed every time I tried to add any images.
#maybe I just. shouldn’t make analyses lol.#maybe the universe is trying to tell me to shut the fuck up ghajxocfjnf#anyways. this and a whole host of other issues means I probably need a new computer soon. joy.#I’ve been looking and everything is so expensive oh my god.#storyrambles#random thoughts
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nothing like waking up to a mouthful of saliva on the verge of throwing up
#tf did i do to you body?#is it stress? fear??#I've had this feeling of nausea ever since that day I received the news#and ik for sure I haven't ate anything bad#god my stomach is killing me#i know you shouldn't resist it and that it's better to just listen to your body and throw up#but I hate throwing up and I hate the dreadful anticipation#okay back#had to pause making this post snd run to the bathroom#the deed is done and I feel so much better despite the horrific experience of throwing up thrice in a row at the same minute#now I'm brushing my teeth#this has been one of the worst ways I've woken up#but hey. at least now that I'm back to semi functional. Here is a fun fact about throwing up#that liquid you feel collecting in your mouth before you hurl? it's not stomach acid (despite me saying so) it's actually good for you#protective solution to coat your teeth mouth and throat so the actual stomach acid doesn't burn or damage you#but i don't remember if it's saliva or something else lemme look it up#okay yeah it is saliva. it would've been crazy if it was stomach wall lining. that shit is expensive to make#expensive bodywise. Repairing it takes a lot of time—i would know#recalling everything I ate yesterday and judging by the emptied content of my stomach—it was the watermelon and strawberry juice's fault#But I drank some before and yesterday#It's the fucking stress isn't it#Even when I fool myself into thinking I'm happy. My goddamn body will betray me and manifest my fear#I really don't know what to do at this point
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love realizing i have dysphoria from something i THOUGHT i fixed a year ago that’s so fucking cool
#i’m so fucking frustrated. this was expensive and it only SLIGHTLY solved the problem#listen to your gut if a surgeon isnt 100% what you want go to a different fucking surgeon. ugh#i’m so angry i’ve been wondering for MONTHS why i still had so much dysmorphia tuuurns out it’s. dysphoria!!1 cool!!!!!!!#i’m also angry that i know if i say anything there’s a good chance ppl will be like ‘this is why plastic surgery is bad’#god. it solved some things for sure mt surgeon just didn’t do everything i thought he was going to#i don’t even regret the procedure i just wish i went with a different person#don’t get surgery in SAV if you can help it the healthcare down there is horrible#nick.txt#vent#i know it’s dysphoria because if i see myself from a diff angle we’re totally fine#it’s just. straight on. ugh. UGH!!!!!
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Hello my loves💜
Just wanted to keep y’all updated as I’m in the process of preparing to move across the country! Things are quite hectic right now, but I am writing and just wanted to let y’all know. I was thinking of doing a lil one shot if you guys are interested. If that’s something that may be of interest of you let me know💜
Until I post again please have this picture of a man I saw skiing on the side of the road the other day as this is the vibes I want to have:
#just a little update#god of war ragnarok#i am kind not complacent#one shot suggestions?#I hate moving#everything is so expensive girlie#heimdall x reader
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angry that my new meds actually work
#idk how to explain something just feels different#like i feel like im doing things i wasnt able to before#its not like im paying 100% attention to classes but something about it feels like im able to control my brain better#it kinda pisses me off that i lived without this for years#but these new ones are expensive so i take them sporadically#god i domt know somehow i just feel more aware#of everything#the passing of time especially
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place your bets will i get my 9k back before my work trip to oslo in the middle of november where mind i will also have to cover costs and then wait for the county (and the parliament for the plane tickets) to pay me back later
#a never ending fucking loop#we should just have a fucking company card like ffs but no. apparently we cannot#i’m still waiting for five different people’s approval#They were very quick in getting back to me when I made mistakes and had to make adjustments#But everything is Gucci and they’re supposed to pay me back#They sure are taking their sweet time#txt#It’ll be fun to compare how quickly the parliament can get me my money back compared to the county#if nothing else ig#But oh my God hotels in Oslo are so expensive#And because I’m not able to order the plane tickets in advance#They will also be super expensive#I hate covering costs and waiting for people to pay me back
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i havent been to the gym since i moved out & i wanna get active again but fr -_- i feel like everything is too much faff, too expensive or something that will bore me to tearssssss
#egg.txt#i was like ok before i go sign up to a new place i'll do the chloe ting workouts just to get a routine back in#my god . i have never wanted to sob more from just being so understimulated in my life#but theyre all the SAAAAAME. IM GOING TOKILLMYSELFFFFF.#and the stupid music makes me want to put knives in my fucking ears#i'd gym again but i just couldnt keep waking up at 5am i wasnt getting sleep & half the time i wasnt even able to get a good work out in#like it would be 30mins max of actual exercise and then like#+ so much more time just getting there and it was wrecking everything else in my schedule#it sounds so dumb but even shit like having to drop my bagg off & pick it up every day meant i had to get later buses (& more)#and it would mean just losing hours in total at that point. for what. for a 30 min workout. when i wasnt making any progress with anyway bc#i was getting no sleep? 😭#i wanted ot try running outside again but ugh not to be a baby but people have been harassing me in the street so much more again and i jus#cant fucking do it broooo#and im too shy for most classes . the other stuff is crazy expensive . im going to start gnawing on something for real#i was thinking abt bouldering but it looks so crazy fucking expensive#its rlly a shame bc i did rlly start to get into running too. i could get a treadmill but idek where to put it rn and it feels crazy#to get one when i dont even have a couch... ehrm
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so depressed that im on my city's parks and recreation page going "oooooh it would be cool to try enameling"
#not at 171$ a class it wouldn't!#everything i want to do is expensive or at odds with my work schedule or both. whatever...#so depressed im looking up book clubs just going please god i dont want to waste my life anymore i might as well be dead
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