#and go on a delulu drafting in one evening

[marmastry]

Extra:

Kofi

[gasstationlady]

the start of something beautiful | a lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x private!reader (fc: tyla)

lando is spotted with an unknown woman, and everyone thinks she’s another fling. however, later revealed as naomi campbell’s daughter, lando's fans slowly start to love her despite her tendency to be private.

notes: btw, i’m so sorry i’ve been mia for a while! honestly, i have a ton of drafts i’ve written over the time i didn’t post, but i lowkey hate all of them lmao. anyways, hope you enjoy this fluff :)

disclaimer: swearing. photos not mine. OLD PIC OF JAZ AND ROSS (yes it’s a warning bc i’m still mourning that relationship, and ik i’m not the only one). there are a few mistakes in the tweets that i was too lazy to fix lol. also, i hope the flow doesn’t feel too rushed!

masterlist

yourusername

liked by landonorris, yourbestie and 138 others

yourusername 🌸

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yourbestie 👀

↳ yourusername 🙈

yourbestie framing these pics brb 😍😍

f1gossip

2,993 likes

f1gossip We received these photos of Lando and a girl today! It looks like the same girl he has been spotted with for the past 3 months, but it’s still unclear who it is. ☕️

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user three months of them being pictured AND YET NONE CLEARLY CAPTURE HER FACE. that’s some bs

↳ user no deadass bc you guys had one job 🙄

user lmaoooo i know the delulu fans are crying that she’s still here

user Are we sure it's the same girl? Lmfao even if it is, he's probably going to get tired of her soon!

user god i hope people learn and treat her better than how they treated luisinha

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 759,301 others

landonorris First time trying wakeboarding 🤙

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user happy lando >>>

user Where’s your girlfriend

user not the red bull life vest lmfaoo

user lando rlly said here’s some shirtless pics to distract u

↳ user frrr but like it’s not working 😭

f1gossip

12,321 likes

f1gossip Naomi Campbell and daughter, Y/N Campbell, making an appearance at today’s GP! It's presumed that Y/N is dating Mclaren driver, Lando Norris. Our sources in the paddock mentions that the two visited the Mercedes, Ferrari, and Mclaren garages before the race. 👀

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user i'm literally in love w her she's soo beautiful 😍

user this actually makes sense that they knew each other since naomi has been connected to f1 for a while now

user I would be unstoppable if I looked like her.

user she looks so kind 🥺🥺

user oh the things i would do to reincarnate as a wealthy person’s child

user i was there and got to meet her and i’d just like to say that i’d go to war for her

landoupdates

7,626 likes

landoupdates Max, Lando, and Y/N (seen in second photo, far right) with fans at an after party! We received these pictures a few minutes ago, and the fan included “Y/N mostly stood behind as Max and Lando were asked for photos but she was so so kind !! Although you can tell she likes to keep to herself, she told me she thought my dress was cute and even got Lando’s attention for me so I could ask for a picture 😭 Also, he kept holding her hand !!!”

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user her face card is insane.

user now that we know she's naomi's daughter, i can't believe we didn't see it before LOL

user “he kept holding her hand” 😭😭😭😭😭

user I have never wanted someone to go off private so bad 😩

user honestly she’s my new fav wag

user it’s the way everyone loves her rn lmaoooo

user LANDO CAN YOU FIGHT

f1gossip

11,234 likes

f1gossip Lando, Ginge, and Ethan possibly alluding to Lando’s new relationship with Y/N in the recent Quadrant video 👀👀

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user not them clowning him 😭

user i mean we all know by now that they’re together but this was the cherry on top

user melting over how he couldn’t stop smiling 🥹

user the fact that he kept this clip in 😩😩

user I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING “LANDO CAN YOU FIGHT”

user I get it 😭 I also wouldn’t be able to hide that I’m dating Y/N

user perfect example of private but not a secret, in love with them 🥹🥹

landoupdates

5,389 likes

landoupdates A few photos of Lando and Y/N at the paddock today ☺️

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user literally my fav couple

user when is he gonna make it officially on insta

↳ user My thoughts exactly!! 😭😭 I know not everything has to be posted, but I’m just excited to see him officially announce it.

user my girl y/n looked so fucking good today

user i just want him to post her solely because i want more y/n pics

↳ user LOL you’re so real for that

landonorris

liked by yourusername, angryginge13, georgerussell63 and 1,221,334 others

landonorris We so good ❤️

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user THE HAND PLACEMENT

user not tagging her is criminal 😭😭

↳ user girl what’s the point when she’s on private

user When will it be my turn 😩

user LANDO??? OMFG

user TURN IT UP IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE 😁😁😁🔊🔊

user omggg i can’t, they’re goals

user Y/N IS SO CUTE

user i luv my parents

[hkruu]

“LOVE ME!” — hkr

// slightly delulu reader , soft yandere , implied stalking , he can be fixed , implied suggestive thoughts , mentally ill oc , he does get a little silly , EN IS NOT MY FIRST LANG. \\

The moment Cilian step foot into your life, it has never been the same. At first you didn't mind his presence, you'd always thought he was a nice kid since he helped you with your academics and research.

Though, on a particular day (Valentine's Day), your dynamic hasn't been the same. That is, from your point of view, for Cilian it's been the best decision he's made his entire life, it didn't matter if he already won so many awards from Karu Academy, what mattered was your acceptance to his little letters that he wrote just for you.

On said letter, Cilian talked about how he appreciated everything and anything you did for him (even though it was the complete opposite), it was sweet and short. You often admired writers, just the thought of someone sending you a love letter makes you feel butterflies.

Of course Cilian knew that.

Cilian knew everything about you the moment you asked for his help, he knew you were going to ask for his advice, his lead, his words. Ah, he could write a whole analysis on you and he'd finish it in 26 hours and 34 minutes, not like he didn't do that before but oh well.

That letter he'd sent you on Valentine's Day was only half of what he felt for you, he had been deeply obsessed with you since that time from the playgrounds. It was unfortunate that you didn't recognize his name but people often forget things from their childhood don't they?

Only his true feelings were spoken in his drafted letters that he hadn't read to anyone but himself. Cilian was aware that no one will ever get what he feels for you, no one will get how he loves you more than he loves himself. If anything, being your enemy was more than enough, thankfully that didn't happen.

Cilian's innocent visage was a gift from the heavens above, he swears that it works like a charm. With a face like this, manipulating comes easy in his hands, blackmailing is as easy as sending an email to a teacher for inquiries, trapping people were as easy as trapping an ant inside your palm.

Just one glance of his pouty expression was enough to get everyone to take pity on him and take his side, including you. You were the only one to approach him with a genuine request, each and every one of the students only came for him because of his purity and innocence.

You were sincere, someone that was easy to warm up with, your skin was perfectly smooth, your hair glistening in the sun, the way your lips move as you ramble about the latest drama online. It's all perfect, the one that Cilian deeply admired.

How he wishes to take your lips into his, to taste whatever gum you ate earlier, to make your hands wrap around his body and hug him with all your might, to make your skin's touch with one another. Cilian would take your favorite pen and write with it with you in thought, even if the things he wrote were a little weird.

If anything you are the reason why he's always at the top. Cilian had always strived to be your exact type, one that you need and the one that you'll never leave. After all, he's seen the countless relationships you've been through, the messy break ups, the talk with your friends..

Your type, your favorite smell, your favorite food, your fashion sense, your manners, your hobbies and even your tinest gestures that you'd make when you're nervous.

It was worth the mental struggle that he had to deal with, even though it took a hard toll. It was worth it in the very end, you as a person were more than enough. You admired writers so he became one, you wanted to go to Karu Academy and so he went there too. Whatever you choose he'll always follow.

(Even if it ruined him mentally.)

He had worked hard to be able to be on top of any situation, it was all worth it if you always were by his side. It was worth it if you'd greet him with a genuine smile, a little hug on the shoulder, it was worth it to pretend that he was only a friend, someone that could support you from the sidelines.

But Cilian knew that one of these days, he'd get you to admit to him. After all, his charms are no joke to everyone, including you. Cilian was aware of the inner struggle you had with labeling him, was he a friend or something more?

Really, it was amusing to see you grin happily when you first read his letter. Cilian could repeat that scene again and again and he would never get tired of it.

The only thing getting in his way was the fact that he was in fact not ready to date, hes all bark but no bite, he flirts but he's easily flustered. The thought seemed a little too much but you're a willing exception to that, he'd try just for you.

"Cilian, you really dress well.. teach me your ways!" You exclaimed in awe as you saw Cilian come out of his dorm room, styling the Karu uniform and wearing glasses. "You.. you look good in glasses.." You murmured, gripping the strap of your bag tightly as you glanced towards his collarbones.

"It's too early in the morning to stare at me like that don't you think?" Cilian grinned like a cat, humming playfully as he offered his arm. Your jaw dropped and hit him in the arm, though you still took his arm as you both walked towards campus.

While you were having your inner turmoil about being close to Cilian since you weren't used to holding his arm, Cilian could only hum in joy with a grin. "Maybe I understand the girls in our class now.." You mumbled, realizing why the girls loved him to an insane extent and for the first time in awhile, Cilian let out a genuine laugh.

\\ this is js an intro post for my acc I wanna expand on Cilian cus uhh I love writers like omg pls feel free to leave feedbacs cus I wanna improve my writing pleasssddssssssssse//

[smolvenger]

Reunion (Loki x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: The sacred timeline is destroyed. And your missing, mischievous lover has returned. A confrontation and a fear of abandonment and betrayal with his return still bring about the passion you have for each other.

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: Smut! Smut! 18+ (P in V sex, dirty talk, doing it in an office). Discussions of the fear of death, abandonment, and being cheated on- but don’t worry Loki is faithful to reader and would never. The Loki and Sylvie relationship is made platonic as it should have been all along for the sake of the fic. Not as super revised as usual but it's not a rough draft, I just wanted this out quickly while we had the first episode as our main focus.

Comments, reblogs, dms, and asks about my work are always appreciated!

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract (smut starts at the line "Too long- Too long" and ends at "At once, he pulled himself up" for your comfort, bestie) @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @muddyorbsblr @meowmeow-motherfucker @marvel-fanfic-lover @animnerd @twhiddlestufftuff

@goddessgirl143 @lunarnights95

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

A/N: With all the gifs out, I got the inspiration from the first episode. Wanted it out before the rest of the series makes me disappointed so I can go to delulu land again here. I hope you like it!

“OB! Better hurry up before your latte gets cold!” you called out. In your hand was a paper bag with the warm food and the other was a cup holder with the big cup of coffee. It’s a sweet smell just under your nostrils. 

It was a messy room with clutter on the floors and tables. They were all broken gadgets- more than you could name. All for that circular little room like OB’s circular little glasses. Well- it was understaffed. Only dear Ouroboros, or OB as everyone called him, fixed all that technology for the TVA. He was on the other end of the room piecing together a broken tempad. He then jumped around, grinned, and began to prance over to you from his main desk. The man was as happy as a squirrel it never occurred to him that he was lonely, overworked, and sleep-deprived. He insisted on working constantly without breaks- so you always thought he could use some caffeine and a bite to eat. 

“Oh! Y/N! Hello! Let me hurry over!” he chirruped.

 You set the bag and the cup on the desk before him, glad to see him so happy over your delivery.

“Here- it’s a large vanilla latte but I added two shots of espresso. I know you always pull all-nighters. And here- here’s your breakfast. I added a pastry in as well too. You could use the sugar rush.”

He peeked into the bag. He pulled out the food and began to unwrap it, his smile going up to his ears.

“Oh my gosh! A ham and egg on toast and a chocolate croissant!? My favorites! Oh- thank you, Y/N!” he said.

You smiled up at him, placing your hands on the desk.

“No problem- anything for the hardest worker here!” you responded.

He took a first sip, his eyes always bright. He let out a satisfied exhale from the delicious taste. Then he peeked over up at you, both hands on the warm cup.

“How are you, Y/N!? I don’t mean to pry but there’s this rumor I heard from B-15! Is it true? I heard you have a boyfriend! You never told me a word about thim-how is he?!”

It hit you like a kick in the ribs. You paused. Letting out a deep breath-suddenly the mood darkened. But, you could not pretend, even with OB, that you were worried about your lover. Your mischievous, divine lover. 

“OB, I know you’re not going to believe me. I know it’s kind of frowned upon- but it’s allowed. But my boyfriend he’s…he’s a Loki.”

“A Loki?” he repeated.

“Yes- The Loki. The one who tried to invade Loki- the one we all caught. I mean- he’s been here a while. I got to know him and…well, we fell for each other,” you explained. 

“Oh! Wow! Well-how does it work, an agent and a Loki?” he questioned.

“We- we find a way. I’ve just been-been worried about him. He had to go- go take care of something. You know the whole thing about timelines being messed with and the other Loki running around causing trouble? Something is up- something serious. He’s been gone for a bit- it’s been a few days. I haven’t heard anything directly from him. He could be dead by now. And there’s something else. The other thing is…is…”

You put a hand over your mouth, the gripping, biting urge to cry hitting you. But it was too strong. Your anxieties were a dam long contained and here they were out. OB set down his coffee to listen to you. Then you continued, the most private fear of yours confessed. 

“The Loki is a woman Loki. He’s with her to take care of this issue. That’s all I know. But it’s been a while- he’s still with her. And she’s powerful and strong and pretty and good at everything and perfect…. and how could I ever compete with her- and he’s-he’s already tossed me aside by now and left me for her by now and-”

Your voice cut off. You felt yourself about to cry. You squinted your eyes shut and looked down, putting your hand to your face-hot and tight. Finally, you lowered your head to the desk and began to cry.

“Oh- Y/N! It’s okay! There-there! You know even that kind of betrayal is low for a Loki! I don’t think most would even think of doing that- their trust is hard to earn! It will work out- shh, shh” he consoled, patting a hand on your back.

You returned up from the desk, tears streaming down your face.

“Oh- Y/N! Here- have some tissues!” OB offered. 

He got out a little plastic box from the corner of the desk. You pulled out one of the white tissues and wiped your eyes.

“Oh, Y/N. No wonder you’re worried. If you ever get sad about him or scared- you can visit me!” he offered.

“Even with all your work?” you asked, sniffling. 

“Oh, even with all my work! It’s nice to have company sometime!” he answered, nodding his head.

“Okay, I will…”

“Worst Case Scenario- I can fix a taser and just do it on him!” he offered. 

“Thanks, I’ll aim for the balls,” you replied.

Both of you broke into a bit of laughter. Then you said your goodbyes, and OB went back to work on the tempad with the sandwich in his free hand. 

You went about. Wiping tears off your hand. Maybe it was good to do just some office work. Focus on that- yes. It was comforting- to have something to consume your thoughts, your worries. If there was still a heart beating in his lover’s chest or if it stopped. Or if he abandoned your bed for the embrace of someone else. 

But then you heard- Kang was killed. The sacred timeline destroyed. It was an emergency, yet every single agent was running like a chicken with their head chopped off. 

Everything was going into chaos. The sacred timeline was destroyed. Everything was now free and open. Every timeline was shattered and now anything and everything could happen. Ravonna shoved paperwork into your chest.

“Here- Y/N! Take these and get them to HR! Now!” she requested. 

You clasped a file full of paperwork. Then you set off, clutching it to your chest. The view of the tall buildings, statues, and everything always makes your chest soften with its beauty. The bright lights. The sheer size of the place. You let in a deep breath to admire the sight. 

There was a noise. Footsteps. Intuitively, you turned your head for the sound. And the source ran before you.

Loki.

His shirt was a little torn in his rolled-up sleeves and his eyes wide, but it was him. His shirt was sweaty and tight. Buttons askew. His curls wild and free. He was more beautiful than you had ever seen him before. 

He paused, screeching his steps to a halt. You let out a small scream in spite of yourself, dropping the papers to your feet. Down they came in a cascade to the floor. You covered your mouth.

“...Y/N…” he panted out.

“Loki…is it…is it you…”

From the back, there was a voice crying. “There he is! Get him!”’

He looked in a panic and then turned around.

“Y/N- I’m-I’m-I missed you. I love you-but-but-but-”

More charging footsteps. He looked over at the balcony.

“Meet me down there!”

In a heartbeat, he threw himself over the balcony. You ran over.

“Loki- no!” you cried.

You looked down and saw him fall down through the air- but you knew the air would land him. It would be soft. Mobius ran by you- eyes wide. The agents, armed and ready. You peeked as he fell down, down, down. 

Not after- no- not after this time! To lose him again!

You ran. You chased him until you were breathless. Things were falling. TVA agents went after him. But you were steadfast- your heart racing in your ears. What mattered more was him. Timeline be damned- it was already. There was nothing else to do now, that mattered- but him!

You sprinted down the steps. Ran harder and faster. Tears threatening to come out.

He’s back- he’s back- he’s back!

“Loki! Loki I’m here! Don’t you-don’t you dare you fucker- you bastard, I’ll-” you cursed, breathless as you reached the last steps and got out to the floor. 

You looked around the place- searching, searching everywhere. Technology was malfunctioning- sparks flew from computers and screens. Agents everywhere still scattering. Alarms still went on, blasting into your ears. Agents were running all over the place. You looked around-seeing everything. Checking every room as people ran about. As a group gathered to watch the timeline break into pieces on a screen- you didn’t hear him behind you.

You felt two strong arms grab around you and pull you to a corner- a hand over your mouth so you couldn’t scream. Someone got you! But you could smell his sweat, his scent. Your eyes turned over-it was none other than your beloved Loki. 

“Y/N- here- we have to hide!” he said.

He practically dragged you over to the next room, shutting the door and locking it. It was a smaller, private space. A TVA office room was abandoned. Nothing but desks full of papers and computers but not a soul. Only the giant screen above detailing the sacred timeline’s downfall. Though you still heard alarms. The bustle of people from just outside. So much going on. But it was background noise to you now. You stood your ground, your hands gripping the skirt you wore for work. 

Loki went over and hugged you, your hands went up to embrace him back but were frozen mid-air.

“I needed to help the timeline!” he cried, releasing the hug. 

“You are needed here!” you insisted.

“Kang is at the loose- he has variants! I’ve been betrayed-”

“You think you’re the one betrayed!? What’s this I hear about a woman Loki you’ve been with?!”

“Wait- you mean Sl-”

In a heartbeat, you raised your hand and slapped him hard across the cheek. His head switched to the side, and the click of your hand hitting hard against his face echoed in the empty office. He caught it and nursed it with his hand. Tears fell down you again.

Then he quickly leaned over and grabbed yours. He pulled you to him, forcing you to look him in the eye. The red light of the alarms all over the office- turning red, then the familiar wan yellow of work. It glowed against his white skin, making him seem even more beautiful. 

“Y/N, I swear to you on my mother’s grave-she is no more than a sister to me! We worked together. No more than that. She kept telling me to shut up about you. Because-because I missed you so much and kept telling her how wonderful you were! I thought we could work together- but she didn’t. She did the one thing I begged her not to do- she broke the timeline- And now- now everything’s fallen apart-”

“I waited all this time and not a word from you!” you shouted. You didn’t care if it was petty. If it was being a helicopter girlfriend. You had stuffed your worries inside you for too long, and now it was out in the open. “Loki- I Was scared for you! You could have died and I would have never known!”

He put both his large hands on your face. Looking right at you.

“Y/N- with all of my heart- I am so sorry I vanished.” 

You had no words. He kept speaking to you, soft despite the chaos. Your mouth opened a little, but you had no words. You saw Loki was crying a little too as he continued. 

“If I could write to you- teleport to you- drag myself to your feet and beg for you I would! If I could even teleport to look at you- one tiny glance at you. To say one word to you- I would. It was impossible. But the stakes were high. I had to hurry. I did this because I feared for the safety of every person here- and most of all for you! Do you understand how scared I was when I saw how powerful Kang is!? That his variants could hurt you?! Norns- thank norns. I’m alive to see you again. To see you, hear your voice, touch you- Y/N, you’re safe-that is all I want. For you to be safe. Can you forgive me?”

You raised a hand to touch his.

“Loki, I…I…I’m so sorry I yelled-I…I forgive y-”

You never finished. His lips cracked onto yours.

 He groaned and you settled into it. He was needy- desperate. Too long, too long. You had forgotten how much his lips, his touch made you weak and craving more every time. His hands all over you. He turned you around, so you felt his erection against your covered ass. So he could kiss you, touch his hands over your breasts. He was kissing every bit of your neck he could, almost like biting into you- devouring and savoring you all over again like the first night you joined. He pressed his hips a little further so you could feel his hardening and you let out a gasp.

“Hel, do you feel what you do to me-even now-they’re all out to prune me again, to catch me, and all I want is your sweet warmth inside me-”

There was a slight explosion upstairs. The building shuddered. He kissed you further. Grinding a little into your hips. You felt your own panties suddenly dampen as if you stepped in a lake. You let out a gasp. He kept kissing you- his hands all over your nice, professional blouse and dress. Fingers wide to touch you, memorize you again. You turned around tugging at him-kissing him so much. Feeling his holster on his back-running a hand through his soft, beautiful curls you loved so much.

“Y/N-Y/N please-please-take me inside you- now-It’s been too long-”

“Yes- Yes, I will,” you voiced.  

The floor was shaking a little, there was a rumble like a small earthquake. People’s desk decorations, plants, and photos, were beginning to wobble if not fall over. He gathered your skirt up.

“Quick- be quick darling-they’re looking for me. We don’t have time,” Loki rasped.

He pulled you down. Holding you so that he laid down and you were on top. You clutched at his buttons. Hands shaking, ripping them apart- displaying his body, so pale, muscled, beautiful. His large hands went up to your hems, your tights. He grabbed your legs so hard- so close to him. Never to leave. Fingers digging into your skin. 

“Gods- my beautiful, desperate goddess- come on, dear- just spread your legs-now- hurry-”

You could hardly breathe as he took your skirt and bunched it to your hips. Exposing you to him. You began to grind on him- keeping yourself in the heat of your desire for him. And his for you, nearly ripping it further. He then took his hands over your breasts, your shirt-ripping buttons that came off-they splattered on the floor. Your chest exposed like his.  He kissed and touched your breast. Then in a split second, his hands went to your soaking panties.

“Nrgh- this- now this is what I need-no-no time- forgive me-again-”

 He then moved his hands up and his strong arms flexed as he ripped your panties in half.t- ripping so that your pussy was out and exposed. With trembling fingers, you went down to his pants. Quickly unbuttoning it. He adjusted his hips so that he was out.  He adjusted himself quickly, so his cock came free- so large and hard.

“Darling-just-just let me- let me-here-” he breathed out. In a second, he pushed your hips down so he sheathed inside you. You let out a gasp- he fit well- already all of him in. 

You spread your legs and got on him. Immediately setting at a pace. Fast, desperate. There was another shudder and papers flew. He began to thrust. Your breasts bounced in turn- it was hitting the right spot, a deep spot. So quick and deep, you were letting out moans. But with the alarms and cacophony of sounds you blended in. 

“L-L-Loki-I-I-” you breathed out.

He thrust thrust thrust so fast in you- it was so out of control. You were losing your breath. Another sound of electric and you let out a moan. You took a trembling hand. You found one of his daggers, despite the pounding into your bouncing body. You took it out-holding the blade to his throat, still thrusting. 

“If-If you ever- ever cheat on me I will-I’ll kill the both of you!” you hissed. 

He only smiled as he felt the blade.

“Yes- Y/N- to be killed by-by-fuck- you. Even- Even a god would want to die like that.”

He then gripped your arm and tipped it around so that it was thrown out of your hands onto the floor. Then he gripped your hips, thrusting still at that pace. Keeping you there. His hands move to feel your skin, memorize you.

“Yes-yes-Yes there-there, sweet girl- you’ve missed this cock- I’ve missed this sweet pussy of yours-wet and desperate-”

He groaned as he thrust into you. Your breasts in your bra bouncing, almost coming out. You reached a hand down- feeling his shoulders- his exposed chest with the little hairs. His hand reached down. Your clit was swollen and ready. He began to play with it- meeting the wild, desperate pace of his thrusting. Papers flew from the desk over the floor. 

“Lo-Loki I- ah! Yes, I- ah- fuck-just-just keep…keep going yes-”

He groaned, his neck straining-

“Yes- little goddess here- I-do -I-I I- fuck-what about you and those men at the TVA-shit-leering at you- can they-nrgh- give you pleasure- no other agent- no other person- can- can dare-dare touch you-you’re mine, all mine-none can fuck you here-yes- keep-dammit-dammit- just cum, cum, my dear-just-”

He pounded you into a fury- you bounced around, so much it was getting too much, your pleasure going up, you could feel it building- you gripped onto his shoulders, feeling everything about to clench. Rising up, up, as wild as the alarms blaring around you. 

‘Yes-Yes-Loki- I’m-I’m goingtocumI’mgoingto-”

Your voice kept hitching up high, then higher. Like little gasps, almost small screams- the near release. He kept at his pace.

“Yes- yes, my dear- go-go I’m about to-yes-go with me darling- cum now, cum sweet gril-Cum, dammit-CUM!”

With a high gasp, it broke on you. Everything in your muscles released. You got dizzy. You felt his own cum shoot out inside you. Your breath was held and you felt him relax beneath you. He pulled out of you.

 At once he pulled himself up, touching your forehead. All the noise had gone- there was just the two of you now. Not wanting one bit of you apart.  

“Y/N- I promise. Nothing is going to keep my little pet away from me. Whatever happens now- we face it together.”

You nodded, nuzzling into him. It seemed the panic had settled. The alarms and lights went back to silent normalcy. Even with the chatter and footsteps, here in the little office, things seemed peaceful.

“Loki- I understand. You have great, important things. You’re doing the right thing- but…if I can be with you- if there is anything I can do to help- I’ll do it.”

“I love you so much- and I’ve missed you so much, my Y/N.”

“I’ve missed you too,” you replied. 

Getting up, you helped each other readjust your clothes. Button back each other’s shirts. He kissed you again and you both hurried out clutching hands. You didn’t know what would happen next, but his hand was in yours. That was all you needed for now. 

[popcornforone]

Laundry

A Javier Peña Fic

Day 25 of Pedrotober

Masterlist

It’s time. I’ve finally completed a Javier Peña fic. & even though this is relatively short, it was still hard to write. I don’t have the best relationship with Narcos. Both times I’ve tried to watch it, has been when I’ve not been in a good place mentally, & I’ve never finished it. So when I think of writing for him I always hit a wall. So to get this written & published was a huge task but I did it. So you can now all finally go woohoo she wrote for him.

Synopsis:- whilst doing the laundry you find your favourite shirt of Javiers.

Word count:- 850

Warnings over & above:- descriptive nature of his body & how the shirt makes you feel, groping, teasing, swearing, mentioning past sexual encounters, getting each other off.

Thanks for the read people. I know some of you Amy want more of this for him but maybe it will inspire me to complete my other Peña in draft. @alyssamariag & @norththelemon thanks for the prompts.

There you stand, in your utility room. Your washer finishes its cycle. It’s a nice hot day, you know you have time to do two loads & get them both out to dry & come back in ready for ironing later. You don’t mind getting up to do the house work early on a Sunday as it means you have more free time in the afternoon to do what you want.

You did the coloured wash first. The whites & bedding will be next. You stand there & make sure nothing gets stuck at the back. No red or blue sock is going to stain all your neural colours in a minute. You bright yellow dress comes out & you sniff it. All the soap is out, & it smells so good so you unload the machine. Turning everything the right way round to make your job easier when you hang out the laundry.

It’s the second to last item you pull out. Your eyes widen at it. It’s the shirt. The shirt that sent you delulu even before last week. You’ll never tell Javier this but you’ve always called this the pink shirt of sex. Tight fitting, long neck line, buttons that do up for decency. The way he tucks it into those jean, those tight jeans. He likes them tight & fitting in all those places that catch your eye. How he always looks so big. It’s not just his gun he’s packing down there. How it shows off his arms. The muscles bulgin out, he’s so broad too. The shirt literally clings to him for all his life.

& then the man sweats. By god he sweats. It’s stained, you can’t get the marks under the armpits away. You think about last week. It had been on the news that he had made a crucial arrest. Agent Peña the hero of the day with some good news. You’d already prepped tacos for him, but when he got in & you saw the sweat still dripping off him & the pale pink shirt was now dark pink, you dropped your cocktail on the floor. His fringe still damp, his skin glistening. You pounced. You didn’t even ask him how he was. His lips felt incredible, the way your hand slid inside his tight shirt getting matted in his sticky chest hair was unforgettable. He pushed you on to the kitchen counter as he removed his belt & pulled down your panties from under your yellow dress & he fucked you hard. Glasses smashing off the side. Your hands wondering over him as he sweated even more as the hand not gripping your hip, furiously rubbing your clit. You were both making so much noise in passion that the neighbours were hammering on the back door to check a murder wasn’t going on for all the screaming. Neither of you cared. He got his prize & his stressful day out with the woman he loved, & you got to fuck the hero the town wanted to please, but he only has eyes for you now. His sweaty musk after he build up more heat, still lingers in your nostrils even if the shirt is now clean.

“If you can smell drugs on it they aren’t mine” you jolt & almost drop the pink shirt. Javier is standing behind you. A Casual shirt open, to show off his magnificent torso & shorts which one of his hands is inside stroking his length. He’s admiring how short the shorts you are wearing are. Appreciating your midriff on display.

“No P…” you smirk & add it to the basket”I was just remembering…”

“How good it felt as I made you scream like a whore last week?” He takes a step forward & you moan & nod. His hand caresses your cheek. “How good it sounded when we screamed each others names?” You nod again as his thumb traces over your crimson lips. “& how good it felt when you came so hard, your body shook for almost an hour?”

“Fuck yes Javier” you touch his chest, as your make out begins & he pushes you back against the washer. It clonks & he looks & smiles. He tugs at your tie up top, he can see your nipples harden. you have no bra on, for this lazy Sunday. It makes his life much easier & his lust bursting from the seams.

“Anymore washing to be done?” He asks leaving his first love bite of the day on your neck.

“1 more all the whites”

“Good”

“Why Javier” you ask curiously.

“I’ve heard a rumour out on the street that if you sit a woman on a washing machine as it spins, it’s like an orgasm”

“Javier!” You protest & see him giggle & lean into the washer getting out the final item of clothing, your lacy black bra. He licks his lips.

“It’s okay baby, we don’t have too, I was just intrigued”

“Well now if it’s for science we have to do it” you reply & he then turns around & picks up the basket of white & neutral colour washing.

“I’m more than happy to put in the research”

[delulu-archives]

Love in Vinyl (Jeon Wonwoo x Reader)

If you were to create an extended play about your relationship with Wonwoo, this would be it. Your title track? To You - a perfect symphony about how a love yours feels like. You and Wonwoo found your safe place to land - each other. And like music in vinyl, every ridge and groove of your relationship makes up the perfect music.

Note: Wonwoo x producer!reader, smut, fluff, slow-burn, multiple scenarios, friends to lovers, AU, unedited Disclaimer: Dear reader, please bear in mind that this is an AU, hence there might be some scenes that may not be as cohesive as real-life, but I did try my best to match the timelines. This is a longer one-shot containing various parts inspired by different songs. Then, it would be followed with more chapters of shorter music-inspired one-shots from within your timelines. 💜 Word count: 23,229 SECOND FIC IS HERE, DARLINGS! Read Love me Lights Out here.

I love Wonwoo so much and I need an outlet for my delulu self, that I am now willing to share with you, world. :) this is the first ever fic I am posting here in Tumblr so pleease forgive all the mushy stuff. I really hope you'd like it, though. Enjoy, darlings. 💗💙

I pour my blood, sweat, tears, and delulu dusts to write this. Please help me protect my work while reaching more delulu darlings who may find escape here, too. 💜 Cross-posted in AO3 (theloveofthunder17)

You, I always need you I step still further away Only the rough wind lingers around me So, I always need you You're the only one for my breathless self Oh, even if we're facing each other, I still miss you Hey, even without saying anything You're the only one that who understands me Today I'll go to your arms too (Hey, hey, hey, hey) I'm grateful to you, who greets me whenever I open the door In a swirling day You've given me a piece of happiness You've placed all of the smiles in the world in my hands So even if I run out of breath on a steep road Even when I lose my path during a cold day We're still holding hands with warmth Nothing is easier than I thought Thinking about what should I do everyday When I think I've arrived, I'm back to the start Even when the dark is ahead of me, oh-ooh-oh Ooh, during the swirling days I can run without any fears Because of our faith that we still kept Because I'm so grateful, I'm in tears How can I repay all of this? To you, to you The story I want to express To you, to you I want to say more things like this Oh-oh, in a swirling wind If there's an eternal love Then you're that person

You weren't really prepared for your life to change when you first worked for Big Hit, a relatively small, start-up company that somehow put faith in your skills and your eagerness. You were penniless, basically living off minimum wage you earn as you pursued your course in university alongside working with BTS since their debut. You started as an intern, a researcher for such a small company you took as a steppingstone to your career. You were working with only handful of producers then, hence gaining the exposure while putting double work developed you massively. It was baptism by fire, they always told you. With of your determination and grit, you soon became a segment producer and made your way as one of the regular producers of their contents. You were present during concerts and shows, filming and drafting ideas so your skills expanded tenfold while you were growing your network, too. You were part of the massive shift in BTS' career and the agency's success. You were there as the team behind the camera grew from a few people to hundreds as years passed by.

You were one of the most trusted, most tenured producers, growing and learning with the boys and the company. You proved your innate talent as you became one of the brains behind their hit 'healing' contents such Bon Voyage and Run BTS, documentaries, and many other social networking releases that helped them reach a global scale. Those years were a whirlwind – pure chaos but utterly amazing in its own way.

BigHit continued growing as BTS continued to triumph internationally, bridging borders across the globe. The company's growth meant a lot of acquisitions and partnerships with relatively similar labels the head of the agency fostered good working relationships with, and that was when Pledis entered your world. As an independent company such as BigHit before, both companies somehow built close ties from the higher ups, knowing both were relatively smaller companies compared to the giants. It was a perfect partnership, truly. Gradually, even the respective production teams had built connection and network, driven mainly by the encouragement of the senior management.  

By early 2018, you started being more involved with both companies as part of continuous partnership initiatives. The producers often welcomed your expertise because you always offered fresh perspectives, from an angle of someone so pivotal to the successful contents and program releases of BTS for the past five years and from someone around the same age of the artists and the fanbases. You struck the perfect balance every time.

You have met some of Pledis' artists before through working with BTS, seeing them during shows, networking with Pledis producers, or casually interacting with them around the industry. With the changing dynamics however, you were eager to know more about the group on a more professional and personal manner. You spent time researching about them and getting to know them through their managers and producers, and of course the contents they had already released before. Their beginnings were much like your beloved BTS – they started from the bottom and slowly continued making their name known in the scene – SEVENTEEN. They were just nearly a 3-year-old group then, still fresh, and still discovering the many things they could bring to the table. With immense innate talent they possess, you were certain they'd be one of the most successful groups, and you were right.

"Everyone, this Y/N. She's going to be one of the producers for some of our contents and she came time to meet you all."

You found yourself in a middle of the room surrounded by the members after their debrief session for one of their Going Seventeen Spin-off shooting day. You were present during the whole shoot, watching and observing how these individuals work and just how comfortable and easy to work with they are. Your friend and mentor who happened to work with BigHit before requested your presence there, given that he's one of the long-time producers of the show. 

"You all behave," the producer teased the team, leaving you all in the room for some time to get to know each other.

"Hello everyone."

"Hello, PD-nim." The members greeted you, with Seungcheol politely asking you to sit and feel comfortable, and you did. 

They looked excited with the introduction of a new staff member and you immediately felt the positive energy everyone radiated. You immediately thought this was going to be easier than what you had initially expected.

"Hope you still have energy? I'll try and make it as quick as possible." Your whole persona exuded a different type of energy that the team found refreshing, as if your wavelength would also match theirs and instead of senior staff members they were used to working with, your youthful take on things was something they were all looking forward to. 

"We're okay, PD-nim." The leader piped in and everyone agreed. "It's still early!"

The room was filled with hums and excited murmurs so you wanted to sustain that energy. Instead of your usual laptop, you took out pens and sticky notes from your bag to distribute it to the team for a quick activity.

"I am quite unconventional so I would like to get to know you guys personally through this game and would also allow you to ask me questions so you can get to know me." You explained looking around the room as the men started to show curiosity despite it being the first time you actually got to meet them. You reckoned it was because it was something new to them.

"Y/N-noona, you know us all already?" Mingyu asked, his bright smile lighting up the mood and surprising everyone with how casual he was with you. He had been smiling at you since he saw you that day but you already warned him beforehand to not let the team know just yet. You met him several times already through Jungkook and learned just how how much of a golden retriever he is, so refreshing for a man standing 6'2".

"Hey! I've met you guys before! It's just that I was always nagging BTS behind camera."

"Ah you're the scary PD-nim!" Minghao exclaimed, earning laughter from the team.

"I suppose I am, yeah. But again, I know you guys."

"Shall we test it, PD-nim? Whether you really know us?" DK, the group's sunshine, suggested and the team all agreed. The whole thing did not feel intimidating for them at all even though you'd be working as their producer.

"It's Y/N. You can just call me Y/N. But challenge accepted! I watch a lot of your contents, you know." A soft smile crept into your lips as you recited their full-names and stage names as you pointed at them in order they are seated, even included the nicknames the fans use to refer to them or their iconic lines. A collective 'woahs' filled the room at how accurate you were. You could see their walls breaking gradually which was the goal of the meeting - to establish the familiarity and ease before even working with them.

"And last but not the least... 울고 싶지 않아 (Ulgo sipji ana/I don't want to cry)". Your sweet voice resonated around the room followed by the cheers and howls from the members, while your turned your gaze towards quietest man in the room, meeting those kind eyes behind his thick glasses. Knowing how to read the room and adjust your approach, you reckoned it would need a little more effort to make Jeon Wonwoo more comfortable and participative, especially that you were a new face. Wonwoo emitted such a kind aura with a hint of mischief, and you were certain you'd enjoy seeing him break out of his shell through the programmes you'd produce.  Your attempt at building rapport was quickly rewarded, earning a nod and a warm yet shy smile from him. It made your stomach flutter and Seokjin was the only person who managed to affect you like that before.  

"Alright, in that piece of paper I gave, I want you to write the simplest thing that excites you the most when working on contents such as Going Seventeen outside being musicians and idols, and from there, I'll guess who it might belong to. If you have questions for me, put it there, too."

You watched them intently as they endlessly bickered, teased, and gathered ideas from one another. You loved the chemistry and relationship they have almost immediately. Clapping your hands to get their attention, you gathered the papers and opened it one after the other. You read interesting and simple things they wrote such as 'fun activities', 'prize', 'food', 'mafia', 'travel', 'games and money' and the likes. The hour was filled with laughter as you answered those who asked a question and tried guessing based on this. 

"What he likes - gaming and would like to try travelling. His question for me - 'Who are you?' Wow such a straightforward one." You snorted as you read one of the papers, rolling your eyes playfully as they hollered, shouting it was Wonwoo for sure. "Is it yours?" You turned to the man whose ears were turning red as you clutched your chest feigning heartache which made the team tease him more as he admitted he wrote it.

"Alright then, who am I? Wonwoo, I am BTS' favourite producer, and I have a feeling that I will be Seventeen's most favourite producer soon enough, too."  

The members cheered, clapping their hands as Mingyu led them to chant your name, "Y/N-noona! Y/N-noona!"

"Don't tell the other PDs I said that. It's a secret."

One particular paper made you laugh, it was Hoshi's, saying that he mostly enjoys being a tiger and being a star but then followed by a question about their seniors, "How different is BTS? What can we learn from them?"

You paused and considered the question, looking at the team in the eyes, "They are not much different. Like you, they started from the bottom - working day in and day out, breaking barriers and crushing bigotry and racism. They are so much like you than you'd imagine, that's why I think you all get along well every time you work together." 

The team nodded and hummed, as if pondering what you just said. Mingyu also agreed, given that he already heard many stories about the band from Jungkook. 

"What can you learn from them? Be human because you are humans. You cry, you get angry, you get tired, you fall, you stand, you laugh, you fight, you rejoice, too. You eat, you shower, hopefully, you take care of yourself, but most importantly, you love. You love what you do, you love yourself, you love each other. It will make a difference in this wild industry you are in. You love."

There was moment shared between you and the members, a quiet one with only knowing smiles and glances around the room. It was evident that it was going to be the start of a harmonious work-life with them.

Since early 2018, you were able to foster good working relationship and friendship with the members, as part of the producers for Going Seventeen Spin-off.  From 2019 onwards, you became a regular around their studio, especially with more talks around agency mergers becoming more and more apparent from the management to senior staff levels. With your brilliant mind, you become more involved in conceptualizing contents and special episodes for Going Seventeen, earning you a title as of one of their most loved and most hated producers at all times. You later became one of the brains behind TTT, Don't Lie, Ego, and Bad Clue series which were all loved not only by the fans but also the members themselves.

Being just at the same age as Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua, it was naturally easy for them to trust and build connection with you, much like how you were with BTS. Everyone became comfortable around you quickly, with your presence offering some sort of normality among individuals who are always under the spotlight. "You're not just a producer but a great friend and 'noona'. I am really thankful." Dino, ever so precious, reminded you after a tedious working day for everyone. There were no pressure working with you even when you were running things in the background no matter how scary and serious you can become sometimes — just some of many reasons why they love you.

Since you started working with them, there were members who had grown closest to you such as the 95z, Hoshi, Dino, and Minghao but surprisingly, there was another one who grew to love your presence – Wonwoo.

Admittedly, Wonwoo was not the easiest one to get to know — he had always been reserved and observant, laughing on the side lines and supporting his team, but somehow, he felt comfortable with you. With how wild and loud the other team members can get, you understood that Wonwoo would not fight for that limelight, and while not intentional, being quiet also meant he sometimes felt as though no one was listening to him. Of course, Jeonghan and Mingyu are always there for him, but with your arrival however, he felt more understood and seen. It was rare for him to foster such close relationship with anyone that easily, but with you, it was a breeze. "As easy as breathing," he once told you.

Wonwoo would often receive teasing gaze and smirks from the team whenever you were in the studio working or even getting their ideas from them, even when you were still just doing small projects before. He always found himself beside you during breaks, talking about everything under the sun - from the games he discovered, or the latest restaurant he tried, or more interesting and controversial topics. The two of you could easily get lost in hours after hours of random conversations and even arguments which challenged both of your perceptions - his practical and rational mindset and your more creative and idealist mindset. You became comfortable enough to share stories of your childhood, hardships, or even concerns without fear of judgment despite differences. You became close enough to even know each other's families. You were always in your own little bubble, enjoying each other's company as if you had been best friends forever. You thought that was the beauty of it - the build up of your friendship was organic. 

Wonwoo was never the one to fall quickly — always sure-footed and rational even in that regard. However, he was always a little too excited whenever you were around, and you were always in his mind whenever you were not around — something he would not necessarily admit. He felt it, though, and allowed himself to bask in that new feeling.

You on the other hand was always focused on your career - the schedule was hectic alone to even pay attention to being in a relationship. In reality, you had carefully built your walls since you started working in the industry, but somehow, someway, Wonwoo managed to slowly break your guards down.

You were not certain when it started – the silly banters, the teasing, the sweet gestures, and more moments spent alone you both always looked forward to - but it happened. 

In such chaos around you, you and Wonwoo found a safe place to land – each other. 

Around July of 2019, you produced SVT Travel episodes for GoSe. New York, a perfect location for the boys to film such content. The city had everything to offer, and it was right on time as they were set to perform as one of the artists for KCon that year. They were the most anticipated artist there and you knew how enthusiastic they were about it too. Prior to the event, they were given a chance to roam around New York on their own and explore the city by group, Bon Voyage style. Every one made the most out of their travel, enjoying everything in the city from food, parks, and even the shops.

They were quite bummed you were not there for their travel vlog though it was you who made it possible to squeeze in that content and allow them to enjoy. There was a conflict in schedule, but you told them you'd try. They knew you would be preoccupied with project commitments and would not be around for a while because you were busy preparing for BTS' New Zealand trip that September for the fourth season of Bon Voyage. Everything was manic with BTS going on an extended break before their trip, and still being one of the head producers for BV, you were naturally occupied, too.

However, your heart yearned to be in New York for more reasons than you cared to admit. So while it seemed impossible, you tried finishing all the work and preparations so you can squeeze in the time to fly to NYC.

And of course, you did.

While you were not there for KCon, you found yourself walking in the streets of the concrete jungle the night before a special occasion - Wonwoo's birthday.

Nobody knew you were coming except from some staff members, Seungcheol, and by extension Jeonghan. They told you they planned something for him so you can surprise the birthday boy who had been sulking for the past few days. Birthday blues, they assumed, so they wanted it to be special for the man who would not normally demand anything.

They said they would have late dinner so they can still be up drinking until midnight, which was not uncommon at all. You already experienced their random drinking sessions before and was impressed with how they can hold their liquor, except Hoshi and Seungkwan, of course.

It was right on time with your arrival at NYC at 10:00 PM. That gave you ample time to settle down in your hotel nearby the place they were staying in. At around 11:30 PM, Jeonghan gave you a head's up that they were all together, drinking and eating, and asked you to come before midnight. You arrived by the door of their accommodation few minutes before 12:00 AM of 17 July, just enough time for the surprise.

Your loud knock broke through their laughter and Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and the others who kept up with the secret asked Wonwoo to open it, reasoning that he was the closest to the door.

"Yah! It's my birthday and you're ordering me around!"

He complained but being an angel that he naturally is, obliged. It was the most perfect timing -- the clock struck midnight as Wonwoo turned the knob and opened the door to you holding a cake with a cute little candle lit up. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened as if he could not believe you were there, wishing him a happy birthday along with the members.

"Make a wish." You gave him your gentle smile and lifted the cake towards him. Speechless, Wonwoo closed his eyes, put his hands together for a wish, and blew the candle. Everyone cheered, clapped, and hugged him - all pleased with how the man responded to the small surprise. It was loud but Wonwoo felt as though you were the only person around that moment. His eyes remained glued to you, as if trying to convince himself he was not dreaming.

In a blink, he engulfed you in his embrace, his head buried against your neck. "You're here," he breathed out as he tightened his arms around you.

You swore you could feel his shy smile against your skin.

"Happy birthday, Wonwoo." You mumbled, rubbing his back soothingly as you wrapped your arms around him with equal affection and care.

Unbeknown to the both of you, the members were already giggling and whispering how dense you both were about each other's feelings.

-

New York was even more beautiful than you imagined. You had been there before, but somehow, that summer bloomed differently - it was brighter, more colourful, and more alive. You tried convincing yourself it really was like that but you second-guessed whether it was because you were already smitten with the man you were spending the day with. Either way, you had no complaints. 

With how famous he was, you knew it would be impossible to spend the day with just the two of you alone given that they also headlined a huge concert just few days back. Wonwoo was adamant to spend the day with just the two of you, but you managed to convince him to bring the guys. They all deserved that break after all, so it was just perfect.

You all decided to spend the day at Six Flags, getting lost and enjoying the wide variety of activities offered in the amusement park. The members and some managers were around, but they gave you space per Wonwoo's request without your knowledge.

You spent the day sightseeing together, getting on various rides, enjoying meals and several desserts, and just being silly kids - with playful matching headbands, even. For someone you constantly tease as part of the iron deficiency line, Wonwoo seemed to have all the energy in the world that day.

You spent few hours together until the members called to let you know that the firework show was about to start. Hurriedly, you and Wonwoo went to the centre-ground just before the bright, colourful explosions glimmered under the dark velvet sky, capping the celebration with a perfect view.

Everyone was in awe of the grand display, as expected. 

You, on the other hand, found the man beside you more fascinating than the show glittering the sky. You watched the reflection against his glasses and his almond eyes, admiring how the colours lit up his perfect face while his lips curled in his signature small smile as he expertly took photos of the show. He looked even more breathtaking. This man was crafted so carefully you were sure the universe spent more time perfecting him.

The thud in your chest was relentless, and when you thought things couldn't get better, it did. You felt Wonwoo's hands twining with yours as he turned towards you and smiled, "Thank you for making this the best birthday ever."

You could not speak, but he knew what you wanted to say. The way your hand tightened around his and the way your eyes shone as you met his gaze were enough answers for him.

I’m ready to love Tell me, can we stay together? Can we stay together? I’m a fool of love for you My heart by your side forever, by your side forever My feelings grew after I met   you Just friends that’s  not enough for  me First time feeling my heart race Never thought it’d beat so fast All I wanna do is run away Cause you are my escape Love has no limit, I want an answer Already know, yeah That expression lost in thought My secret recipe to make you feel better The moment my eyes saw you Everything’s clear No need to say a word First time feeling my heart race Never thought it’d beat so fast All I wanna do is run away Cause you are my escape Just need you to be ready With each passing day My emotions keep growing I don’t wanna waste any more I want to run for you Run away to the other side of the world Take my hand Still I run away Trust me now To fill my heart to the top Like you're short of breath (let me) You give me purpose

The trip in NYC was nothing short of magical. It was beautiful to have been able to spend time with them, but most especially Wonwoo. You weren't sure about what was going on with the two of you just yet, and somehow it started to scare you how much deeper you were falling for him. It was an oath you swore to yourself before - to not fall in love with the people you were working with, especially the artists. It was impossible not to, you finally realised, especially with how things naturally played out with you and Wonwoo. 

Instead of focusing on that however, you occupied yourself with preparations for the fourth season of Bon Voyage and had not visited the studio for nearly two months. Aside from how busy you were, you also went to New Zealand to film with BTS hence you were also not around for the first shows they had for Ode to You tour.

Your jampacked schedule did not mean that your mind was completely rid of Wonwoo. He was able to infiltrate your thoughts and emotions throughout - sending you food and coffee in your office, calling during odd hours of day to ask how you were, or even sending random selcas with the members. You missed being with him for sure, and those silly things made you yearn for him.

One thing that stuck to you however, was when you received a call late in September, few days before your scheduled return. They were filming the 2019 Camping TTT that time and you weren't sure why your phone rang at nearly midnight. Seeing his name on the screen however, you perked up.

"Hello?"

"M-miss you so much." He slurred, followed by a hiccup. Your breath hitched.

"Hey, Won. You okay?"

"N-no."

"Why? What happened?"

"You forgot about me already." Despite the static on the line, you could hear the slight pout with the way he whined. 

"I would never." You chuckled, "wait, are you drunk?"

"Lovedrunk. Yes. With you."

"Wonwoo —"

You could not even finish your question when the line dropped.

You were dumbfounded. Would he even remember what be said once he woke up the following day? Those thoughts keep you awake that night. 

-

As scheduled, you came back after nearly two months of being MIA in the Caratland to produce the SVT Playground episode of Going Seventeen which was one of the goofiest episodes they enjoyed filming - simple and innocent, a trip down memory lane. It was a chance for them to be young again and forget the heavy weight of their stardom despite the cameras around.

For you and Wonwoo, however, it was the game changer. 

While you grew closer than ever even before, something shifted with the way Wonwoo treated you since New York and that phone call the previous week. He became a little more gentle, softer, and more thoughtful with you. On the other hand, the sweet gestures became bolder and more noticeable. The way he stared at you lingered without him trying to hide it and there was a new spark in his eyes whenever he did so. The tone of his voice when talking to you turned sweeter, flirtier, even.

That day, he became more intentional with his display of affection either by tucking your hair behind your ears or wrapping an arm around your shoulders or waist for no reasons at all. Those gestures, while not not new, developed gradually over the past months that you did not even notice them becoming more apparent. Not until New York. Not until that playground day when you felt it so deep.

Adding to your dilemma about your feelings, Jeonghan and Seungcheol were also actively watching the turn of events. They had always known about it, so as the other members who were close to the two of you, while you and Wonwoo try to mask or avoid your feelings.

"What's with you and Wonu?" The leader asked teasingly during the filming break, flashing his gummy smile and wiggling his brows. "He finally confessed?"

"Huh?" You cocked your head in confusion.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan burst out laughing, shaking their heads and looking at each other as if sharing an inside joke, and you reckoned they might be aware of that drunk call Wonwoo made. 

"Eeeeeyy, you both need to come to your senses. It's been more than a year of you trying to deny how whipped you both are for each other." Jeonghan casually remarked before they went back filming when the director called their attention. You scolded yourself. Were you really that obvious? 

As you watched the during the filming, you could not help but be drawn towards Wonwoo – his laugh, his whiny pouts, his voice, and even the way he ran to you whenever he had the chance to, pretending to get candies or drink water or seek assistance in putting on eye-drops - all these just so he can get close you.

You couldn't help but think about how since you met over a year ago, he has always been present and always ensured you felt it. Your natural chemistry was obvious to everyone around you, but somehow, you both refused to acknowledge it.

That day changed it, though. The butterflies and racing heartbeat were abiding throughout the day.

Remembering how he held your hand in New York only sealed the obvious truth you were trying to avoid for months.

It finally dawned to you that you had plummeted. Your walls completely crumbled down and you were left defenceless, all for and because of Wonwoo.

-

Majority of the team members and staff went home once you arrived in the building after the shoot, but you stayed inside your dark office, working on some of your ideas for the next content and pulling another all-nighter. You wanted to finish it, as you were going to be busy with some filming preparations in line with upcoming documentary for SVT you would be co-producing.

While you were preoccupied with your work, Wonwoo noticed your office door ajar with lights still open and he knew there could only be one reason. He bid goodbye to Joshua who was walking with him saying he'd follow in the carpark and the man nonchalantly agreed, leaving Wonwoo alone.

Wonwoo entered the studio discreetly, seeing you ever busy typing your notes, talking to yourself with eyes laser focused on the screen. He always loved watching you in your element, so fascinating how your mind works he would often say. He even bought you a wireless mechanical keyboard to help you when typing away your ideas so that it would be easier and more comfortable. That was just another excuse of course, he bought it because it matches his gaming keyboard and you once told him you love the click-clacks of it. He hoped that somehow, he'd cross your mind even when you are working. He reached his goal - you carry that keyboard and think about him everywhere you work.

He leaned against the door frame for quite some time just admiring your unwavering strength and passion before sneaking behind you like a cat that he is. Placing a hand on your shoulder, he spoke softly, "Aren't you leaving yet?"

You jumped in surprise as you felt his warm hands against you, "You scared me!" You shrieked, playfully punching him as you clenched your chest with your other hand.

"Ah! Sorry, sorry." He snickered, pulling the other chair to sit beside you and you locked your laptop hide the script you were working on for the next special episode.

"Why are you still here? Have the others left?"

"Mhm, they did. How long are you staying?" He inquired, already reaching for his phone from his pocket with his eyes never leaving yours. "I'll wait for you. I can text Shua-hyung to go ahead, he is waiting for me."

You tilted your head, puzzled, "Why? You should go, it was a long day. You have early shoot tomorrow, too."

Wonwoo just shook his head. There was that unspoken connection and understanding built between you since you met. Both of you are intuitive individuals, and you both see through things than what meets the eye, perhaps that's why you mesh well. His warm eyes searched yours as if conveying things he could not muster just yet. "I'll stay and wait. No matter how long it takes."

There was a pregnant pause, the air thinning as your heart pounded against your chest. You wanted to assume it was just about waiting for you and nothing else, but his deep voice and the sincerity behind it was too serious. "How sweet of you, Won, but Joshua's waiting and you need to rest, too." Your voice was gentle, but there was a little quiver as you tried steadying it despite how he was making you feel.

"Eh, but I want to be here with you." His perfect lips puckered into an adorable pout as he whined, eyes twinkling under the warm dimmed light of the office as they remained glued to you. "You can't convince me otherwise."

You beamed. Like a complete idiot.

Your inner lady laughed hysterically at just how insane Wonwoo drives you no matter what he does.

"Wonwoo, you need to go home. Your managers will kill me if they found out you stayed here." You insisted, pressing a hand on his forearm as if to comfort him, and he felt your warmth through the sweatshirt he was wearing. "I'll be fine, I promise."

He sighed, finally surrendering to your request. "One condition then..." he paused and turned your swivel chair so you could face him completely. You saw that glint in his eyes - a hint of teasing mischief that eventually shifted into something warm, like fuel coaxing embers to burst into flames.

"Fine. What is it?"

The tension was palpable and your voice barely came out as you tried grounding yourself when he dragged your chair closer. He did not answer you just yet, instead with an intense gaze, he started leaning towards you, nose brushing against yours as you froze in your seat. 

"This."

He hushed, and before he chickened out, pressed his soft lips against yours.

Your breathing ceased.

The world paused.

There was nothing but silence and the pounding of both your hearts.

The fireworks show in NYC was no match against the fireworks going off in your head that moment.

It was all surreal until you felt his trembling hand ever so gently cupping your face. The surge of emotions was brimming as you withdrew slowly, eyes wide at what just transpired. You blinked rapidly, trying to wake yourself up from the beautiful dream or delusion that it was.

But it wasn't a dream. Nor was it a delusion.

It was all real.

He was there, lips curled up in his signature grin while caressing your face with yearning. His raised cheeks were turning red and the ashen colour of his hair only emphasized the glow that painted his features. He was enchanting yet so real at the same time and you could never fathom how it was even possible. 

"H-hi." He stuttered followed a breathy laugh and you could not help but meet him halfway the next time he dipped his head and captured your lips in a conversation without words.

He kissed you with such tenderness and longing - the soft petals of his lips slotted between yours so delicately that it caused shivers to run throughout your whole being. He brought you closer by the back of your head, deepening the kiss, enough to allow you to taste each other.

The kiss was sweet, in all senses of that word. He tasted of sugar and mixed berries from all the candies he consumed during the filming, and you tasted exactly like the cherry-cola popsicle you had upon arrival at the office. The exchange was loving yet so fearless and innocent, like one's very first kiss, only 100x better.

"You had too many candies today," You whispered against his lips, eyes still closed as you both chuckled. You heart was burning inside and you were certain he could feel it, with how steady he seemed to be.

"I can say the same." His lips curled into smirk then chased yours for a few more pecks before finally pulling away reluctantly, looking in your eyes as you both burst out giggling like teenagers.

"Now go." You ordered, face still flushed from the exchange and Wonwoo nodded, his lips pressed together tightly to suppress the smile he couldn't wipe off his face. No matter how much he tried, however, the corners of his lips and his cheekbones did not cooperate.

When he finally found his strength, he stood towering over you and leaned in, stealing one last kiss then running towards the door giddily.

"I'll go. Good night."

"Good night." You called back, suppressing the intense emotions that threatened to spill.

Wonwoo got to the car grinning ear to ear. Joshua, ever so observant, noticed the younger man's reaction but when he asked, Wonwoo just shrugged and said it was nothing and pretended to scroll through his phone.

It was something. Definitely something huge, enough to make his heart pound against his ribcage as if he had just run a marathon.

You on the other hand, were left in the studio, still in daze and doubting your sanity. You were only able to process it once you reached home, squealing like a lovesick 15y/o in the plush kitten he gave you not long ago.

The next time you saw Wonwoo was only few days later from that night, during a particularly busy day in October two days before their scheduled Japan trip for Ode to You in which you will be present, as you were the producer of their docu-series content.

That special filming was for the first ever Don't Lie episode. They were all ecstatic and surprised throughout the entire day of filming, cameras rolling around as they tried to find the treasure and the mafia. You headed the whole production, monitoring the cameras and watching how they were losing their minds over the whole concept.  

Wonwoo should be focused on the game but could not take his eyes off you. You were the main producer that day, busy giving instructions to members seeking clarity about the rules or checking the flow of the game and filming with the directors. The way your eyes glistened as you sipped your favourite strawberries and cream frappe while running around one place to another captured his attention. He thought of how your lips would taste and how cold it would be against his, wondering whether it would be like that first time few nights ago. That was when he felt it again, the tug in his chest that seemed to always happen whenever you were together, which only intensified from that perfect kiss you shared. It was so powerful that day that he felt he could no longer waste time – he was finally ready to verbalize it, hoping that you felt the same way.

"Wonu couldn't take his eyes off you. How can he find the treasure then?" Jeonghan chuckled as you both watched Wonwoo searching every nook and cranny of the area after Jeonghan was voted out by the team. 

"Shut up, you mafia. His eyesight is poor, he could not see me from here."

You took a long sip, trying to ignore the teasing from your friend but who were you kidding? His teasing was impossible to ignore, especially when you and Wonwoo still had not talked about the kiss and just casually greeted each other when the filming started. Your mind floated back to earlier that day, when Wonwoo found yet another way to make your heart flutter like he always does.

The weather was already changing - the air was colder that day as the season transitioned, and it was common knowledge that Wonwoo could not stand the cold. Like a proper excuse, Wonwoo found himself next to you while you were walking towards the main shooting area, lacing your hands together sneakily yet so casually. You gasped and turned your head towards him, raising your brows to question what he was doing but he just gave you a sly smirk, "Why? You know my hands easily get cold and yours are the perfect heat packs."

What a silly but perfect excuse, you thought. You shook your head in disbelief, hiding the fluttering of your heart and the stupid grin that painted your face. He noticed everything, though, and he loved it, too much that he pulled you even closer to him.  

"Trust me, his eyesight is 20/20 when it comes to you. See?" Jeonghan added and proving his point, the gorgeous 6ft tall man sauntered towards you. He was so on theme that day, donning an all-black outfit from his shirt and ripped jeans matched with a leather jacket and a pair of combat boots. He looked dangerous to begin with and even more so when he nonchalantly leaned to take a sip from your drink as his almond eyes met yours in a gentle, but teasing stare-down.

"You found the treasure?" You taunted but he just smirked and shook his head, making you reach out and fix the hair from his forehead.

"Ugh, get a room you two." Jeonghan grimaced, leaving the two of you in the corner lost in you own bubble once more.

"Not yet, the mafias are good and I've searched the whole place already! Give me a hint, babe. I'll split the cash and treat you dinner." Wonwoo casually offered, with pleading eyes. He looked so handsome you could melt but more than that, you did not miss the way he said 'babe' as if it was the most natural thing to call you.

"Not a chance," you shook your head before stealing your drink away from him and sipping, pushing him to go back to his hunt as the remaining time was announced.

The shoot ended with loud laughs and betrayals from the team, the mafias won the prize but it was Wonwoo who seemed a little too happy even when he lost, grinning ear to ear when you agreed to have dinner with him.

It was not the first time you went out alone, you were mainly in the studio or the normal bar you also frequented with Bangtan whenever you guys were out for a drink, one that guaranteed privacy. This time however, Wonwoo wanted something different. He took you out for a drive towards Namsan Mountain, both of you holding Styrofoam cups of piping hot stew and some grilled pork belly you ordered, and even some soju to enjoy at the back of his crossover van. You created a makeshift camping space with picnic cloth and some pillows you borrowed from the studio as you shared your meal while looking over the amazing view from above through the open door of the van.

"You are amazing, you know that? How did you even come up with that idea?" He mumbled, looking at you in the eyes as if utterly mesmerized by you.

You let out a soft snicker as you recalled the ruckus from the day and as he laughed at the things that transpired. It was like that until you both finished your meals and the ice cream you bought from the booth nearby. You just casually talked about everything... except for the one thing you both should be talking about. "I am a producer for a reason. And I enjoy watching you all lose your minds." 

The cityscape glimmered before your eyes as cold winds brushed against your skin. The both of you leaned back against the pillows with his head resting against your shoulder. It was peaceful and quiet, and there was such comfortable silence between you as you watched the flickering of the city lights while his favourite ballads played in the background through the car's stereo. 

"You were right you, know." Wonwoo's deep voice broke through the soft melody in the background and you could feel it through you.

"About what?"

"You've become my favourite."

"Producer?" You smirked.

"No. Person." Wonwoo declared with certainty, his trembling hands reaching for yours, fiddling with your hand before slotting his fingers between the spaces of yours. "You're my favourite person."

"Won -" What he uttered and they way he held your hand truly caught you off guard and rendered you speechless.

"I have fallen for you since the moment you noticed I measure my meat and rice ratio at every bite." He paused, thumb brushing at the back of your hand as he craned his head and met your eyes. "I am not good with words, but this, I am certain of. And that kiss, I felt it, you know..."

"Felt what?"

"That I may have a chance. We may have a chance."

You were wonderstruck at his confession. Your heart was bursting at the seams as you looked at the man who held your trembling frame one summer night when you were at your breaking point, the man who always asked whether you've eaten and went above and beyond to order you food or coffee, the man who paid attention to every little shifts in your mood, the man who stayed up late with you in the studio after long days of practice so you'd have company, and the man who since you met, has been a steady presence, grounding you and being your safety net.

"I want to try, Y/N. I feel like we've been holding back for so long." He added, shifting to face you as you did the same, hand twined in his as you both searched each other's eyes. "Let's allow ourselves to be happy, unless of course I read things wrong."

Wonwoo had never felt such way with anyone else before. While of course he had been attracted to other people, it was different with you – deeper and more serious than whatever silly crush he had prior. He felt safe and secure with you. He felt seen, valued, and listened to even though he normally prefers to be in the background. He finally had someone he was excited to share his stories with outside of the members and his family. He finally had someone to be silly with and someone to tell him that it's okay if he's not the best cook. He finally found the person he'd want to learn how to cook for. He found someone who taught him how to better communicate and supported him as he continues to discover himself and find his footing. He found rest in you. He found his person, so unexpectedly. He found you and he could not let you go, never without trying, especially not now.

Your eyes glimmered with pure astonishment, "You're my favourite person, too. Ever since you asked me who was I the first time we formally met." You chuckled at the memory, watching his smile grow and seeing wheels turning in his head. Then there was silence, a meeting of eyes before his gaze trailed towards your lips and then back to your eyes. There was that unspoken understanding floating mid-air, hidden beneath your soft smiles and withheld breaths.

"But —"

The moment you broke the quiet, he cut off your words as he swiftly drew you in, lips moulding with yours in a fearless, loving kiss.

"No more buts." He muttered ever so steadily, grazing his teeth against your lower lip.

You finally let your guards down and wrapped your arms around him, seizing such perfect moment and tucking that core memory inside the corners your mind for safekeeping.

He was right, no more buts were needed.

All your fears and apprehensions vanished as you allowed yourself to savour the moment. You'd deal with worries some other time. That moment, all that mattered was the two of you.

The two of you.

Finally.

It was perfect.

You made this song who I am And here you come Three, two, one Want to give everything If I can just have you Won't let them break your heart, oh, no Without you, I'm nothing No words are enough for you Want to write it lyrical So let me read and write my emotions through you I just want to love you Alone I don't want to leave you I just want you, I need you The night is short, can't take you for granted I tell you, this time I wanna rock with you Moonlight tonight, shine on you Tonight, I wanna ride with you Wherever we go Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (Wherever we are) Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (No matter whеre we are) Evеn if the world is ending, I wanna ride with you I'm running for you Do anything for you Just you 'til my last breath No words are enough for you Want to keep it melodical So let me listen to all your emotions Fall into your eyes Every moment is pointing to you All I ever need is you Take nothing for granted, you're all I got Won't let them break your heart, oh, no Anywhere Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (Wherever we are) Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (No matter where we are) Even if the world is ending I wanna rock with you I wanna stay with you

ODE TO YOU 2019 - JAPAN LEG

Japan has got to be one of Wonwoo's favourite places ever. He can always be free there, despite their stardom and fame in the country. Their Japanese fanbase is one of their best fanbases - respectful and always mindful of boundaries.

The band has always been eager in ensuring they are able to provide the best show for their fans, and the first nights proved just how loved the boys were – the shows were a massive success, and despite how tight and busy their schedules were, they all genuinely enjoyed it.

During that month, you were involved behind the camera, producing parts of their documentary Hit the Road and capturing behind the scene footages for the DVD release of the said tour. Whenever they did not have shows, they had guestings, photoshoots, and other press conferences. It was only when November came that they got time off for themselves to breathe and relax after the last show in Yokohama and before the shows in Chiba commenced.

It was a restless month for them, so naturally, you became not only a producer, but also a friend they ran to with whenever they were restless and needed to vent. Your hotel room became haven to the members, either as a place to rest and bond over alcohol, or wailing wall. You always understood. Your presence made a huge difference to the members, but most especially to Wonwoo.

--

Wonwoo had planned his days off for a long time already, even prior his confession. He ensured you would be free from work during his time-off too. Like a practical man that he has always been, Wonwoo planned out your official date like how you would a production schedule - detailed and precise. He asked you to pack for a 3-day trip, a surprise he said, and that you would be leaving by midnight to catch your flight to Osaka. Even the the flight schedule was well thought off, ensuring your privacy was a priority. He was eager to enjoy this trip with you. It had been a month since you officially started dating but you weren't able to properly go out as a couple yet. Both of you were thrilled to have such chance and were looking forward to having an amazing time together, away from the teasing of the members.

With eager feet and sleepy eyes, you travelled to the airport, arriving right on time to catch the hour and a half flight to Osaka. You landed and settled in your hotel at around 3:00AM, with just enough time to sleep and rest before you itinerary. It was your first time to spend the night together away from your friends, but due to just how tired you both were, it was not something you immediately realised. After washing up, you went to bed and succumbed to sleep as you held each other for warmth, recharging both of your energies for your activities later that day.

The blaring alarm and the sun peeking through the curtain woke you up that morning, still buried under the duvet and hugging a pillow tight while you tried wake yourself up. As you stirred, you reached out towards your beau, missing the warmth he emitted, only to find nothing. You pried your eyes open to see the empty bed and that was when you heard the door closed and his footsteps slowly approaching. Your stomach growled in hunger as the smell of  Japanese pancakes, egg rolls, and coffee permeated the air and invaded your senses.

"Good morniiiing." He mumbled in his cute little sing-song voice and accent before he placed the tray by the bed and joined you, "Breakfast in bed."

You thought you might have been dreaming. How can someone like him be your boyfriend? You might have done something good in your past life to deserve him. You were dreamy as you looked at him, inviting him your arms for warm hug to thank him. "You're the best."

"I know," Wonwoo smirked and peppered your face with kisses as he rubbed your back. "Let's eat, we need to leave soon."

Your brow raised in curiosity, "Where are we off to?"

"It's my secret."

The man winked at you. Winked! No matter how long it has been since you first met, his gestures like that could still make you lose your shit.

-

Wonwoo took it upon himself to drive the rented car to your destination, looking ever so flawless with a hand on the steering wheel and the other on yours. You had been bugging him to tell you where you were headed but he just smirked at you, insisting it was a surprise until you saw it. Universal Studios. Wizarding World. A place you've always wanted to visit. You were gobsmacked. 

Your heart fluttered at the soft smile and gaze he gave you, "This is our first official date and I want you to remember it. You ready?" He asked ever so confidently, and you could only squeal and lean in to kiss him, and he was quick to return it.

"Let's go!" He exclaimed, both of you hopping off the car to start your adventure. You suddenly felt nervous, however, realizing he was not wearing a mask, and anyone might recognize him with that blue hair and face card on display. You were about to speak when he shook his head as if he already assumed what you were about to say, "I am not hiding. There is no need to. Let us enjoy this day, yeah?"

Encouraged by his boldness, you nodded, holding out your hand towards him, "I am sure we will."

The autumn air was crisp and cool against your skin while you soaked up the atmosphere of the park. Everything was indeed magical but it was made even better with your Wonwoo by your side.

He kept smiling at you, revelling in your squeals of excitement at everything you were seeing. He had always known just how much of a fan of the franchise you are, and seeing you enjoying this made his heart full. His efforts in making it possible were immediately rewarded by your enthusiasm.

You took photos by the entrance of the park and the Hogwarts Express, and both your competitive edge in photography were on full display. It was habit you both have whenever you were out in new places, exploring your creative sides through the lenses while being each other's supporter-slash-critic. 

After the stroll by the entrance, you visited one of the shops to buy robes and scarves of your Hogwarts houses, and the wand that you can use within the the theme park. That was a must in the park, and you definitely would not miss that to complete the experience.

The shop welcomed you with warmth and the lovely smell of parchment and fabric. You busied yourself find your robes and scarves, and assisted Wonwoo in wearing his. With the height difference, you stood on your tiptoes to wrap the blue and bronze scarf around his neck as a final touch. Sneakily, his arms encircled your waist and he pecked your lips making you blush furiously, squealing on the inside.

"Oh look it matches your hair, love." You marvelled, pushing him towards the mirror so he can look at himself. "Oh, my handsome Ravenclaw." You sighed dreamily, watching him fix his glasses and wave his wand, pretending to cast a spell.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

"It's LeviOOOsa, not LeviosAAA."

You mimicked the famous scene and both of you burst out in fits of giggles as he in turn helped you with your house scarf. He put the soft fabric around your neck, fixed your hair afterwards, and then used the scarf to playfully haul you close so he can steal another bold kiss which surprised you.

"Someone might see us!" You gasped, looking around the store to check whether there was anyone around who could see or potentially be filming you despite the both of you being in a secluded part of the store. Thankfully, it was a weekday, not a peak season, and not many people were around.

Wonwoo just chuckled, "Relax! No one's here." He leaned in once more for another sweet, lingering peck that made the lady inside you somersault.

Wonwoo did not need any spell, he alone can leave you enchanted.

You spent the day walking around the park, taking photos and videos of the sights, and trying out the rides. Wonwoo was ever so professional whenever you took his photos and in hindsight it looked as though he was just filming another content. You thought somehow that should any rumour come out, it would be best for people to assume that it was just for content, you got enough footage and photos to release something if it comes to that anyway.

However, the way Wonwoo held you close or laced your fingers or even pressed soft kisses on your forehead were giveaway that it was a personal trip. And that you weren't just a producer. You were never big on PDA, you like to hold hands or share drinks but never too comfortable to show affection whenever you were around other people, but somehow, the magical place and how surprisingly quiet the theme park was made you braver in expressing sweeter gestures. You both allowed yourself to revel in that bliss of being together in such a magical place.

You were on an all time high, heart fluttering ceaselessly as Wonwoo made your dream not only possible but also memorable. You were unsure how he made all these arrangements despite how busy you both were the past months. He just winked when you asked him saying, "I am Wonwoo, love."

Before the end of your tour, you spent time around Diagon Alley shopping for souvenirs for your friends while drinking your 3rd glass of butterbeer that day. The fizzy drink was sugary sweet that it reminded you of your first kiss. You internally laughed, remembering that moment and how shy the both of you turned after the sudden moment.

"Why?" Wonwoo asked you, as if sensing how you were feeling or thinking.

"Nothing." You shook your head and finished your beverage, your boyfriend laughing as he wiped the foam off the corners of your lips.

"Did I do well, love?"

"Hm, very well indeed."

Little did you know, Wonwoo was also thinking the same as he gazed over your every feature. His mind wandered to that first kiss inside the secrecy of your studio and how things transformed since. While you were still the same hardworking, caring producer looking after them, you became a pillar of strength for him, a home he always yearns for and goes back to. Seeing you happy and surrounded by the things you love seemed to have further developed his understanding of how utterly in love with you he is. The moment when you gushed about the famous quote, "After all this time? Always.", he made it a personal mission to make you feel his love and how grateful he is of you, always.

The streets were already dark and the show by the castle was already starting by the time you completed your shopping. All the other guests were busy running towards the show while the two of you took your time. Really letting go of his fears, Wonwoo seized the opportunity and grabbed you by your waist when you reached a darker alley in the park. Laughing, you both sneaked in towards a slightly hidden side of it until Wonwoo pinned your back against the brick wall and swiftly dipped you into an ardent kiss. You were taken aback by the suddenness of his action but kissed him back with reckless abandon, tasting the butterscotch flavour from his lips as he deepened the kiss. Soft whimpers left your lips as you clutched onto his scarf, lost in delight as his arms snaked tighter around your waist to prevent you from escaping.

You did not know how much time passed when you parted and he stared at you. He looked so sinful like that - lips red and plump from the kiss curled up in a smirk. Breathing heavily, he mumbled with his gruff voice, "Let's go back to the hotel."

Your knees buckled.

-

Surprisingly, the both of you managed to still have dinner at the hotel restaurant despite how tension filled the car ride back was. The meal helped ease both of your nerves after that sneaky make-out session you had in the park under the moonlight, but it still did not completely take away the unspoken truth - you both wanted each other.

The moment you entered your room, the air shifted. Wonwoo shoved the door close and caged you against it, lips covering yours in heaps of kisses. Before it led any further however, you paused and panted for air, "We need to wash up." A small chuckle escaped as he groaned and nodded, taking all the energy to pull away and rush towards the bathroom, leaving you breathless, in daze, and wanting.

Your head was spinning as you took a shower after he did, subconsciously spending time to ensure you were spotless and even using the best shower gel you have. You were still overwhelmed with your desire but you were also nervous - this would be your first time and there was no denying that it would finally come to that after long months of pining and waiting.

Wonwoo was no different. He was excited, nervous, and needy all at once but he wanted you for so long and could not wait any longer. Trying to calm himself down, he put on Avengers on the television while waiting for you. He needed his distractions and he hoped the superhero movie would do the trick.

About half an hour later, you finally emerged from the bathroom wearing your matching pyjamas and approached him in the couch where he was watching. You wondered how someone could look that great with bare face and glasses. So domestic. You sat beside him and he wrapped his arm around your body, holding you close to cuddle against his side. He breathed you in, your scent lulling him and waking up his desires that was sitting at bay. When you both mustered the courage to look at each other after a short while of tension filled silence, he tilted your head by your chin so he can continue what you both started earlier.

Wonwoo's kisses were searing and full of desire, his arms engulfing you closer until you found yourself straddling him as need simmered inside you. He traced open kisses against your jawline and the sweet spots of your neck, until his warm breath grazed your ear as he nibbled your earlobe.

"I want you..." He whispered seductively. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated as he stared intently at you, "...need you."

The dulcet tone of his voice had you reeling. There wasn't a need to convince you. You were already a beautiful mess, ready for his loving. 

"I am all yours." 

"Let's take this to bed, I am not about to have on a couch for our first time." He chuckled softly as you both stood, his lips still glued to yours as you stumbled towards the bedroom. 

He sat by the edge of the bed and yanked you by your arm to have you on top of him. He drew you in for endless kisses, his teeth tugged on your lower lip as his hands roamed around your body, snaking inside your shirt to feel your skin. His touch was electric, making you shiver and imagine just how good he would feel touching you where you needed him to. He bruised your lips with his, drinking you up as if you were water and he was parched.

You fumbled with the buttons of his pyjama shirt, pushing it off his broad shoulders as your hand splayed along every perfect contour of his body, memorizing him. Your eyes trailed from his perfect face, down to his broad shoulders, and his narrow waist. You were completely mesmerized by how perfectly sculpted he was, akin to a statue of Greek god, and you thanked all the universe for allowing you to experience such man. Wonwoo admired your patience and how pleased you look gazing at him, but enough was enough for him. He could not wait any longer. So while you were ever gentle and patient with your actions, the man effortlessly ripped your pyjama shirt open, buttons popping out as your bareness was revealed to him, finally.

His mouth fell agape at the sight of your body for the first time ever. He imagined it for so long but to be in that moment was surreal for him. Your insides were turning into molten lava with the way he was looking at you with intentional seduction and awe while he caressed every inch of your body and brought you closer so your skin pressed firmly against his.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered, and despite the lust-filled look in his eyes, he was genuine. He caressed your supple skin as he kissed you, tongue parting your lips as if seeking entrance which you granted as you fought for dominance. He traced kisses towards the sensitive areas of your neck, down to the valley of your breasts as his hand cupped and toyed with your buds. He took one in his mouth, sucking and licking and turning his attention to the other, eliciting a rather loud groan from you.

"Oh gosh..." You were already tingling with pleasure and he hadn't done much yet. You keened in anticipation and need but Wonwoo took his sweet, sweet time with you, marking you in places only he can see. You could feel his breathing becoming heavier as you moved to ever slowly grind against his growing member to alleviate the ache in your core and allow him to feel your warm centre.

Wonwoo was lost in the moment, utterly drawn towards the scent of your skin and how you feel against his body. Your every sound and reaction was enough to drive him crazy, sending adrenaline to course through him as you both found each other in a battle of lips, teeth, and tongue. At one point his glasses became skewed, making the two of you laugh in between the flurry of hungry kisses shared.

"Take your glasses off." You mumbled, tugging on his lower lip and reaching to remove it, but he swiftly grabbed your wrist to prevent you from doing so.

"No." He said simply and quickly maneuvered the two of you so your back hit the bed as he slowly shifted downwards, his eyes fixed on yours behind those thick lenses. "I want to be able to see you clearly."

The laughter quickly dissipated as he once again pressed his lips against your skin, paying attention to every inch of you until he reached your waistband.

"May I?" He asked and you nodded, biting your lower lip and preparing yourself for his next move.

"I want to hear you say it," He mumbled against your skin like a predator playing with his victim before prowling and devouring it. You rolled your eyes playfully trying to mask your crumbling exterior but it was so impossible when he was so close to your core.

"Please touch me..." You let out and, in a blink, Wonwoo peeled off the remaining fabric covering you. His gaze darkened at the sight of your whole body on display for him under the dimmed lights of the room. Blood rushed to your cheeks and you suddenly got conscious causing you to press your thighs together instinctively but he shook his head disapprovingly before prying your thighs apart, gently.

"Love, you're incredible. Don't you ever hide from me." He held such gentle dominance as he looked into your eyes. He placed searing kisses from your knees towards your inner thighs, until he reached your core slick with arousal which made him curse under his breath. You throbbed with need as his warm breath brushed over your sensitive areas, touching you everywhere except where you need him.

"Tell me what you want, darling." Wonwoo commanded, drifting away your core and hovering over you.

"You... please..."

"You have to be specific, baby..." He teased you relentlessly, fingers snaking from your chests to tease and tweak your pebbled buds before he moved towards your aching core.

"Touch me." Your brows furrowed as you looked at him with pleading eyes, body squirming beneath him as his long fingers started circling your sensitive, swollen nub down to your slit.

"Like this?"

"Fuck!" You breathed out, hips lifting to meet his deft fingers. A devilish smirk tugged on his lips, watching every nuance of your expression that was enough to make him even harder.

"You're dripping... I want you to feel good, babe." His competitiveness was on display as he plunged his digits inside you, feeling your velvety walls as you trembled in pleasure. "You like that?" He whispered, shifting to kiss you deeply as he drew his fingers in and out of your wet cave while his thumb worked on your clit. The pleasure you were feeling was incomprehensible that moment, completely lost at the feeling of his skillful fingers driving you to the edge of release.

"Oh Wonwoo... babe..."

"I want you to come for me baby."

Wonwoo dipped his head towards your breast, taking your bud into his warm mouth and cajoled. You gasped heavily, drunk in lust as his fingers curled while he licked, sucked, and nibbled your taut nipples, completely sending you wailing as you climaxed around his fingers. He watched your orgasm for the first time ever -- lips parted, brows knitted, breath ragged -- you were hypnotizing. If your walls felt that amazing around his fingers what more his cock and the thought alone made him twitch.

He was throbbing with need to be buried inside you but he was far from over. While you were still catching the remnants of your orgasm, Wonwoo was already shifting downwards until you felt his mouth and tongue devouring your sweet release. With loud moans, you reached towards him, fingers gripping on his blue locks as he forced your hips down and continued his relentless ministrations.

"Holy shit, Wonwoo..." You whimpered, quivering as you felt another orgasm ripping through you as his wicked tongue drew circles around your clit and sucked, while his fingers entered you once more, massaging that sweet spot inside your walls until you quaked from his stimulation.

"Fucking h-hell..."

"Was it good, baby? You okay?" He asked, brow rising in full curiosity as if he was taking notes mentally.

"Are you kidding me?!"

You both giggled, drunk in each other as you pulled him towards you and wiped his glistening lips and chin, not without apologising how messy it was. Heaps of your clothing were discarded on the floor and you were left with no barriers separating you. The feeling of your warm skin against each other caused sheer delight and comfort and lust all at the same time. You admired all of him, such a work of art from head to toe, hand snaking down and tracing all his perfect ridges. You palmed his sizable length as you looked him in the eye, feeling him grow further and harder. 

"Do you want me to." You asked, already trying to manoeuvre downwards before he shook his head.

"I'd fucking love to, but I can't baby, I won't last long." He admitted, a soft chuckle breaking between you as he pinned you back to the bed. "I need you bad... can I have you now...please?"

"Yes... please..."

Ever so prepared, he had a condom ready on top of the bedside cabinet which he reached out for and ripped the packet using his teeth. You were dying in anticipation as you watched him kneeling between your thighs, his trembling, eager hands trying to roll the rubber around his long, hard shaft but it kept on slipping. "Aish!" He grumbled and you both burst out laughing at his struggle. You took it from him and helped him with it, his teeth buried in his lower lip as he groaned at the feel of your warm hands stroking his aching cock after you wrapped him successfully. Your mind was completely in daze as your handsome man braced himself on the either side of your head and leaned to kiss you, aligning his length against your core before he glided through your wet folds, feeling your warm, slick pleasure coat him through the condom as he teased and prepped you for his length.

Wonwoo smiled gently at you as if he was not just teasing you. His honeyed gaze met yours, taking everything in that moment before whispering, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

You encircled your arms around his broad shoulders and he kissed you fervently, tongue diving deep as he lined his cock towards your opening. He pulled away just enough to look into your eyes while he, with one swift thrust, impaled you completely. Fully.

"Fuck baby!"

"Oh Won — babe!"

Both of you groaned in unison at that first delicious stretch. Wonwoo paused to ensure you were okay, only to be rewarded by your nodding and legs wrapping around him. Wonwoo fit you perfectly, like lock and key, made for each other. He smirked, and then he drew out and drove forward, again and again, building up the rhythm and intensity of his thrusts. Your warm walls gave him an in-drawing sensation everytime he pulled out and your loud mewl signalled that he was hitting that special part inside you.

"There?" He asked, memorizing the way you respond at every angle as his huge cock breached your walls repeatedly.

"Yes baby... fuck... keep going!" You breathed out, fingers tugging his hair so you could kiss him as he plowed into your depths.

"You feel so fucking good around me me, baby."

Your loud moans matched each other as he felt the tight pleasure of your core, feeling you pulse and clamp around his length. His deep voice resonated in your head, so erotic as he buried his face in the crook of your neck while his cock throbbed inside you. He bucked his hips upwards with varying yet precise intensity as if trying to mark and claim you as his. The harmonies of your moans and grunts, along with the creaking of the bed and skin slapping filled the room. It was nearly impossible fathom the pleasure you both were feeling after longing for that intimate moment for so long.

As if you weren't on the verge already, Wonwoo dove down and wrapped his talented mouth around your nipple hungrily, making you shudder in delight. You clawed at the broad planes of his back as you gyrated your hips to meet his every thrust, contracting around his length as he bucked deeper and harder each time.

"I am so close - fuck baby." He grunted as he moved with vigor and eagerness, chasing his high and encouraging yours.

"Holy shit - me too -"

Every cell of your body was on fire as he snaked his hand down, rubbing your sensitive clit. His lips found yours and with few more thrusts, sent you closer and closer to your white bliss.

"With me, baby. Cum with me..." He whispered, slamming into you hard and you both spiralled into your glorious, mind-numbing orgasm, cursing and wailing each other's name. You felt his length twitch inside you as he came while your walls clenched around him, milking every last drop of his sweet ecstacy. He was unsure how such insurmountable pleasure was possible. It was nowhere near his imagination as he watched you quaking underneath him as you both reached your climax.

"Oh baby..." You chased his lips with sweet, open-mouthed kisses as he rested his forehead against yours while he tried to steady himself. You continued the gentle movements as you rode out your climax, feeling every perfect sensation and every remnant of the mind-blowing explosion.

He panted heavily, nuzzling against your skin before finding the will to finally pull out of you as he kissed you gently few minutes later. He rolled your body on top of him and engulfed you in his arms as you slowly drifted back to earth. He cupped your face, wiped the streak of pleasure-filled tear that cascaded your cheek, and kissed you ever so gently in contrast of how he did earlier.

You traced soft circles against his skin as you both fully regained your senses and breathing, and suddenly found yourself chortling in drunken pleasure - like you did when you had your first kiss.

"You're amazing. I love you, Y/N."

Your heart fluttered, as if it was the first time you heard him say that. It was always magical whenever he did so. He was a man who preferred actions than words, so hearing him say it always tugged your heartstrings.

"You are otherworldly, Jeon Wonwoo." You murmured and he kissed you once more, smiling against your still plump lips.

"And I love you, too. So much."

-

ODE TO YOU, 7 NOVEMBER, CHIBA

Those three days spent with Wonwoo were indeed filled with memories. You were busy with activities to rest and relax during the day while you spent the night tangled in each other intimately, making the most out of your time and somehow releasing all the pent-up desire you had for each other. By the time you had gone back to the team, Wonwoo had about 3 more days to fully rest before the start of their last 3-day show in Chiba.

The team was excited to make things memorable, given that they would be closing the Japan leg of the tour with a total of 9 shows in the country. They were all ready to roll and make the best out of their performance despite the week of rest not being enough to fully rest and recover.

All was going well until Dino had to be rushed to the hospital mid-day of their first show in Chiba due to a bad case of enteritis, causing him to not be able to participate in their show. This caused not only a massive pressure to the team having to adjust their performance and cover for Dino's absence, but also a deep-seated worry for their youngest's condition.

You entered the assembly room where the directors were briefing them as they prepared and that was when you noticed it -- they were exhausted and in pain. You knew the telltale signs, you had seen it with BTS for years and you had seen it with the team having been working with them for two years.

Most of them were being taped up and assisted by the physical therapists to avoid injuries and further strains. Seungcheol was stretching and wincing from body pains. Some were just sitting and enduring as much as they can. The endless schedule had already taken a toll on them.

Wonwoo sat quietly by the assembly room listening intently but as you monitored the footages from the camera directors, you felt something was off with him, too. Cold sweat beaded his forehead and the tremors in his hands were more noticeable than ever. He had been blotting sweat from his face more than he normally does and even the stylists had to blowdry his hair and shirt repeatedly.

It was something you could not ignore as worry started to kick your gut. You approached the stylists' table and requested a box of facial tissue from them and told them you'd take over in helping Wonwoo, given that there were a lot they still had to look after because of the delays that happened that day. They were all grateful for your help and it was not the first time you needed to step in. You did that a lot for BTS before, too.

When you approached Wonwoo, his shoulders sank and he gave you that soft, pleading gaze - those were huge warning signals that he was not at his best. At times like that even before you started officially dating, Wonwoo would lie in the couch and rest his head against a pillow on your lap, and you normally would just brush his hair with your fingers or massage his scalp. This time, though, it was not something you both could do just yet given that the show was just about to start.

"You okay? You're sweating buckets."

"I am okay, just nervous, I guess."

You smiled softly at him, folding a piece of facial tissue and pressing it into his forehead to blot off his sweat. He reached to hold one of your hands, a silent appreciation for being by his side that moment. His hand was cold and clammy and he was not always like that despite the usual tremors in his hand. He held your hand a little tighter, a little more desperate, and tugged you closer to him as if wanting to feel the warmth you emit to ease whatever storm was inside him.

"You need to take it easy today, love. All of you." You maintained a calm, soothing tone in your voice as your styled his hair to dry off some areas drenched with sweat. He closed his eyes, immediately relaxing when he felt your fingers massaging his temples and scalp as he sighed in delight.

"But Dino's not around, we need to do good."

"You are all naturally great, so try and breathe and not worry too much. Just enjoy it, yeah?"

Wonwoo nodded and smiled at you, hands remained glued to you, whether your hands or waist or anything he could reach as if drawing strength from that contact.

About 30 minutes before showtime, the director instructed them to huddle in the backstage for photos and other instructions The air was still tense, but you felt Wonwoo relax a little, until he laced your fingers together, and with a pleading look on his face, whispered, "Stay by my side."

"I am here, always." You laced your fingers tighter as your other hand gently squeezed his biceps until you reached backstage. He reluctantly pulled away, fingers lingering slightly until he already needed to join the members. "Thank you, I'll work hard."

Your bright smile and encouragement were more than enough to boost his confidence, "You got this. Fighting!"

As they got to the stage, you put your producer hat back on, monitoring the footages for the documentary and instructing the head camera director on the types of footages you want. As expected, they were all doing well, fans were enjoying, and it was just the first set. You, however, could not help but notice Wonwoo's unsual tensed, heavy breathing and that made your stomach turn. You tried busying yourself knowing that worrying would not help at all, but as always, your guts were right.

It was just as they left the stage that your heard someone calling you, your assistant producer panting for air. "PD-nim, come quick! It's Wonwoo!"

"What happened?!"

You had never sprinted that quick before in your life. Blood drained your face as you saw your boyfriend lying down on the stretcher in the brink of unconsciousness, surrounded by medics and many other people.

"Filming is not a priority now, make space." You heard one of the medics instruct as he loosened Wonwoo's shirt and lifted his head.

You squeezed into the area and despite being worried, maintained a collected and professional demeanor as to not aggravate how Wonwoo was feeling. He always hated making people worry, hated making you worry.

"You heard the doctors, please make space. Filming is not a priority, please go now."

You requested, keeping your cool but you were slowly losing patience when some staff members filming still pressed on shooting footages of Wonwoo and what was happening, blocking the way of incoming first aid supplies from the medics.

"Didn't you hear? FILMING. IS. NOT. A. PRIORITY. NOW!"

There was that controlled yet heavy emphasis on your words, gazing sharply at the camera men. Some of them finally realized it was you, one of the head producers of the documentary they were shooting the footages, and all backed away as their head camera director reached the area, requesting for them to leave and he would cover.

"Y/N -" Wonwoo croaked, and you immediately rushed towards him, taking his trembling, clammy hand and massaging him to increase the flow of blood. Your heart broke at the sight of him struggling to catch his breath - his face pale, body tensed, and hands cold as ice.

"I'm here, Won, I got you baby..."

You whispered with determined calm, taking the can of portable oxygen the medic handed you and placed it by his nose and mouth. "Take a deep breath, love, slowly... come on."

Wonwoo obliged, brows furrowed as he struggled to steady his breathing and take in as much oxygen. Few moments later, the stage director called out to update that the next set was about to start. You were opposed to letting him back on stage, but you did not speak, it was not up to you. It was Wonwoo's decision. Wonwoo, still so weak started slowly getting up, assisted by the medics. The stylists quickly fetched his change of clothes for the next so he can change. You knelt in front of where he was seated to remove his shoes and switch pants and then assisted him in wearing the shoes again. He was still so weak and it was eating you alive seeing him like that, but he wanted to endure. Standing, he leaned against your body, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you and his manager helped him towards the stage. You can sense the intensity of his breathing and the pounding of his chest paired with the disappointed look on his face.

"It's okay, Wonwoo." You looked into his in the eyes, trying to hopefully convince him to sit it out and reassure him it's okay if he can't, but his eyes flashed determination to see it through.

"I am okay. I am ready." He said to you and the manager as you handed him to the stage director and the members who were on his side in a blink.

He got back to the stage where he belongs, shining and performing so beautifully, as if nothing happened backstage. You became even more in awe of the man that he is.

Releasing the breath you had been holding, you got back to working. Wonwoo endured and you must, too.

-

"Cancel all the scheduled interviews and shoot we have with the boys tonight and tomorrow."

"What?" Your co-producers released an incredulous gasp at your request.

"They are tired. They are getting sick and they need to rest." There was authority in your voice and even the managers agreed with you.

"But - "

"But what?"

"We have schedules to follow."

You scoffed unamused.

The tension was heavy in the assembly room where you were holding the end of show huddle. Little did you know it all can be heard in the other room where the boys were resting and changing, all ears on the conversations happening and even talking amongst themselves.

"Really? You'd choose the schedule over the safety of the members? You want to see all of them crawling and dragging themselves in the backstage because of how exhausted they all are?"

You stood from you seat and scratched your temple, "I have been telling you this since before we got here. Their schedules are packed, they do not get enough rest. We are not the ones performing on stage and practicing 20 hours a day, they are."

Your voice resounded and the thin, wooden wall separating the rooms did nothing to mask. The members heard you fighting for them, brazenly.

"Look, I am not trying to start a fight, but I sure as hell am willing to spend extra days and hours filming them myself if that means they'd get the chance to rest in between their shows. Allow them to rest and live and survive. That's all I am asking. How about you? How much are you willing to risk their wellbeing?"

Everyone was speechless. Your intention was evident that day - you were not solely focused on Wonwoo, you were also checking on the other members and ensuring your team wasn't bugging them like they did with Wonwoo. You were right and they knew not to question you, because despite worrying over Wonwoo and being in a relationship him, it had always been clear how fair and professional you are in terms of your work.

The meeting adjourned right after that, with the agreement that you'd take over reviewing the filming schedule and carry out the interviews yourself. As always, you were the last to leave the room with all of them dispersing. Packing your items, you left to check on the members in the other room, shocked at how they all rushed towards you, tackling you with their hugs and gushing at how cool you were for what you did. Wonwoo, on the other hand, just smiled and watched you with adoring eyes - his heart swelled in gratitude towards you and your presence. 

"Yah! Enough of that! I am the one who's sick!" Your boyfriend playfully shouted, approaching you with a small pout as you all broke into fits laughter.

"Oh, my poor Wonu." You cooed and spread your arms for him, and he immediately threw his body onto yours, his arms looping tight around you and burying his face against your neck. The team acted as though they were gagging seeing you like that, but more than the teasing, you all understood the feeling of relief knowing Wonwoo was already much better.

When you reached the hotel, you went to your room to wash the day away with a warm hot shower. You were prepred to work and adjust the schedule of your docu filming when a sudden knock surprised you. You opened the door and there was Wonwoo, carrying his bag and some of his stuff.

"I'll sleep here." He said nonchalantly, entering your room as you took some of his stuff to help him. His eyes were baggy, forehead tensed, and gaits heavy. He did not need to say anything, the deep connection you have was enough for you to know that he was still carrying what happened.

You nodded and beamed at him, "Okay, I'll prep the shower for you, then."

"Thank you, love." He leaned in and you met him in a tender kiss, letting him fix his stuff as you went to the shower to start running it so the water would be at the perfect temperature for him. You pulled out the extra robe from the cabinet and hung it by the door, and even had the hair blower plugged in for later.

He looked so refreshed and relieved once he stepped out of the shower in the robe, his blue hair still dripping.

"Come here." You muttered; another towel ready at your lap. You pat the spot next to you by the bedside and you shifted your body to face him once he was seated. You wrapped the towel around his head, ever so gently squeezing the water out until it was just damp enough. You took the hair dryer plugged into the socket by the bedside table and stood in between his legs, fingers combing through his locks as you blow-dried his hair. Wonwoo released a relieved sigh as your fingers massaged his scalp, his arms automatically wrapping around you to pull you closer so he can rest his head against your chest.

"Love, you did amazing earlier. Seeing you endure like that for the show was incomprehensible."

"Love -"

You adjusted slightly so you can tilt his head and look him in the eyes. You caressed his cheek softly and he closed his eyes while nuzzling against your touch. He saw that sincerity in your eyes and he knew you weren't just buttering him up to make him feel better. You were never that person, you allow him to feel and be human.

"I know you aren't as satisfied, but everyone loved your performance, especially your carats. And I am so proud of you even though I was dying with worry. You did your absolute best for them, literally risking your life and that says everything."

Wonwoo's heart felt lighter at your words, the frown in his face visibly relaxing as a soft grin tugged the corner of his lips. His hand snaked from your waist towards your nape as he pulled you down to kiss you lovingly. 

"It's okay that you are sad now, love. But don't let it eat you up. You still have two shows left, and I am certain you'd also do amazing, and convey your emotions better."

Wonwoo pulled you to the bed and rolled the both of you into the bed and under the duvet, his head resting against your chest, ready to bid the day farewell so he can recharge and greet a new day better and with renewed strength.

"In case I haven't told you recently, I love you, Y/N." He mumbled sleepily but you can hear the smile in his voice.

"In case you it's not obvious, I love you, too, Jeon Wonwoo." You kissed his forehead and continued running your fingers through his locks and massaging his scalp until the two of you drifted off to dreamland.

You'll both be okay, so long as you're together.

Fighting round in circles where is the way out 'Cause I know that our love was hotter than the sun Yeah, the taste of this tequila I'm drinking now Isn't bitter than my heart I want to know our problem, blood type or DNA? Friends see my feed and worry, do you babe? Yeah Been waiting for your call every night But I can't wait no more Dialing you Sorry, darling you You know, without you, I'm so lonely When you're not here, 911 calling Into your heat again, I'm diving Darling you, darling you, baby You know, without you I'm so lonely If you won't be here 911 calling Falling to you I'm always diving Darling you, darling you, baby Darlin', with me under the sun I know that you're my one I don't wanna let you go I can't think of being alone What am I supposed to do? And I gotta let you know You got my heart like it's yours Don't wanna say goodbye I see you, you see me I care for you, you care for me We can be all we need Promise, I won't take you for granted never I'mma treat you better  I'mma see you better So honey, now come into my arms yeah Kiss me baby Kiss me baby

-

In 2020, the merger was officially announced, you as one of the regular producers for Hybe became even more active in supporting the bands, mainly BTS and Seventeen.

Your relationship with Wonwoo became more open - to your friends and to colleagues, who did not seem to worry about it. You were grateful that they were understanding of it, knowing it was inevitable. You remained private and away from public scrutiny, given his prestige. You remained professional and it proved to have no impact on deliverables, the relationship even proved to be helpful, with Wonwoo having more energy when working or the team having someone to talk to about their concerns or share their ideas with. The bond grew stronger, both professionally and personally.

The pandemic proved to be rather difficult and took a toll on both groups who have been working non-stop for years. It meant more efforts were put in ensuring that they would all be safe while being able to still produce quality contents for the fans who need them the most.

That was when you gave birth to and pitched your idea -- In the Soop. A show intended to give them time to heal and recover, while allowing fans to still have quality programme and feel some semblance of normality.

ITS was your brainchild specifically designed for BTS and eventually Seventeen, and because of this, you were assigned as an Executive Producer of the show for the first time ever. It was a hit for BTS and then the preparation for Seventeen ITS officially started -- double in size, double the work, double the chaos.

-

You were in the filming set 3 days prior the members, an advanced party to ensure everything was ready - from the location to product placements, and even the activities they had planned out. You were not in your best mood, if you were being honest, as the last night you spent with Wonwoo before you left ended in a bitter note.

The day before your scheduled departure, you had your pre-flight checks with the members and the staff to talk through all the preparations made, ensuring everyone was all set for the filming. Caffeine ran in your blood trying to keep you awake since the previous weeks had been hectic with all the last-minute product sponsorship and placement offers. During the meeting and the dinner after, you had spent most of the time with Joshua, talking about the activities and even suggesting some more stuff that can be added where possible. Normally, Wonwoo did not mind things like this especially when you were at work, but you were confused to see his sour expression throughout the whole meeting and until you drove home to your apartment where he also sometimes stays. The whole drive was quiet, and it was not the usual comfortable silence you usually shared after busy days.

"You alright, babe?" You asked, pouring him a glass of water and handing it over to him. It was a normal routine whenever you got home, a glass of water for the two of you before your usual rituals as he liked to call it. That night, he just nodded at your question and went towards the bedroom, dismissing the water you offered. You immediately knew something was off. It was a very Wonwoo thing to do to just stay quiet whenever he was feeling or dealing with something uncomfortable.

On normal occasions, you would let it pass and give him time to breathe, knowing he always would crawl back to bed and talk about it. You on the other hand, would normally do something special in order to apologise or make amends.

That night was different.

Your body was aching in exhaustion from the past month of juggling work and other matters. Truly, you wanted to spend the night relaxing with him as planned, but he suddenly had the cold shoulder. Your temples throbbed in pain at the thought of something like this occurring before such a busy and special week for the both of you.

Entering the room after about an hour of contemplating, you saw him already washed up and busy with his phone as he lied in the bed.

“Aren't you going to tell me what's wrong?” You asked, tone a little off – brought about many factors and your emotions overwhelming you.

"Nothing's wrong." He pressed, looking at you with the same sour expression he had during dinner, jaw tensed and eyes blank.

"There's obviously something wrong."

Another silence. Another exasperated sigh from him.

"I am fine."

You approached him in the bed, sitting by the edge as you reached out for him to hopefully soothe him. "I don't believe that... let's talk about it..."

"Then don't! There's nothing to talk about."

That was when you snapped. The harsh answer he gave and the way he blatantly avoided you were enough triggers for you to lose it.

You already fought over silly things or concerns couples would normally fight about but nothing lasted more than a day. You always ensured to make up before the day ended, and you did not sleep on any issues you had. This time he was flat out cold and mean, and you were angry and exhausted enough to deal with his attitude.

"I have no energy for this, please." Your gaze was gentle in contrast with his stone-cold expression as his jaw clenched and avoided eye contact. “I am so tired, let’s just –”

"Is it my fault you're tired?!" He cut you off sarcastically, fuelling the your fire until you combusted.

"Did I say it was because of you? You're impossible! You were the one who's been giving me this attitude since this afternoon when all I want is to be with you tonight! If you are tired of this relationship, just fucking tell me and I'll leave instead of you acting like that!" You blurted, breathless, voice laced with both pain and fury, then walked away and slammed the door shut to spend the night in the living room so you both can have some space to cool down.

Your heart felt so heavy you cried yourself to sleep. 

You were sleepless that night, tossing and turning in bed, eyes puffy from crying, wondering what went wrong and how things transpired. That morning before leaving, you shook him awake to let him know, and he just groaned, still fast asleep and unable to even pry his eyes open.  

While you were busy with preparations, you still wanted to ensure he was alright, but unfortunately, you ended receiving with 1-word updates and responses from him, 'studio', 'home', 'okay'. Aside from that, he completely ignored your calls, either intentionally or when he was busy playing games or packing his stuff for the trip with the members. It was driving you crazy the entire time, but you had massive responsibilities in your plate, and you did not want to bother any other person.

Your heart wasn't cooperating, though. It felt as though a huge brick was sitting atop of your chest while you were working. You thought that maybe you were right, that maybe he wanted out and the thought alone was killing you inside. How could it be? Was it a long time coming? If it was, you were not sure when it started. You were perfectly fine the last few months and everything seemed normal so you could not understand what had gone wrong. These thoughts plagued your mind whenever you weren't distracted by work. You turned your full attention to work, ensuring there was no idle time for you, in the hope to alleviate your fears even just by a fraction.

The last day before their arrival, you were caught up with so much last-minute work, pulling an all-nighter in your cabin to sort some final requests. The staff knew just how huge your role was and just how much effort you poured into this. They wanted to at least ensure you would be able to get some rest because you were doing all the heavy-lifting before it all even started, hence allocating you the small cabin near the upper house.

Your personal phone was left forgotten by the bed since the morning of the last day of preparation. You did not have reason to bring it with you, he had been ignoring you anyway and the quiet of your phone the last two days caused more pain and frustration. Besides, you also considered the crucial bits that had to be done that day required your undivided attention.

Buried in piles of work with your staff and directors until dawn, you missed his numerous calls and messages you never even realised you received.

Your strength waned and your body gave up and succumbed to sleep around 7:00 AM, the day of their scheduled arrival.

You finally caught a bug after draining yourself – falling sick at the first day of shoot.

Great.

Not.

--

Wonwoo was losing his mind. 

He had been calling you since the day before their departure – wanting to speak, apologize, or even just hear your voice to bring even a dose of sanity back into his system. He sent you multiple messages asking how you were, whether you were busy, or what you were doing. Even that morning when he left the dorm, he tried calling to tell you he was on his way but was only routed to your voicemail without hearing anything back. He almost reached out to other producers, but it was one thing you both agreed not to do – never involve other staff. The members naturally would be involved or rather involve themselves due to the level of deep relationships you have, but never the other staff members.

Dino noticed the hard expression on his face, eyes tired as he took the reigns in driving to the location. He was tired but it was a way for him to clear his mind and become distracted.  

"You alright, hyung? Did you sleep last night?" The youngest inquired, both curious and worried that his older brother might be a little too tired to drive.

"Ah, yes. I am okay. Just stayed up playing games so I only slept couple of hours." He faked a laugh and focused on the road. “Don’t worry.”

"Aish! Oh well, we can sleep as long as we can for a week."

Wonwoo hummed in agreement.

Although, he was not sure on whether he can sleep at all with what's happening between the two of you. He had not been sleeping well since the night of the fight. 

-

They arrived at the venue a little past lunchtime, just as you finished preparing for the day. You were in so much pain and craving rest, but it was the most crucial part of the shoot – to welcome them In the Soop.

The cars pulled over the driveway one by one, filling the area with the usual energy the thirteen members always have. The way they bickered and giggled and marvelled at the surroundings echoed around the quiet forest and that strengthened and excited you to leave the room to officially welcome them. It was something they had looked forward to for a long time, knowing just how much they also enjoyed their seniors’ content. You were looking forward to that moment, too, after nearly a year of planning for this to finally happen. All of them greeted you from afar when you left the cabin, bright smiles warming your heart.

The moment you saw Wonwoo leaving the car, it hit you once more just how deeply you love him. Despite what happened, there was a sense of comfort his presence gave. You've been together for two years already and while the initial start of your relationship was all intense outpour of pent-up emotion and affection, it transitioned to a 'calm' type of love when your relationship grew. The love you have is a type of love that one would yearn for – like a hug after a long day, a warm cup of hot chocolate during winter, or a home to go back to after being away – your love has always been a soft place to land. No arguments or misunderstandings could take away the fact that your home would always be each other.

He felt the same - the way he softly looked at you conveyed the things he could not say then.

You never wanted the members to suspect something was happening with the two of you, so you took it upon yourself to get the awkward hello out of the way. You approached Wonwoo and pressed a soft kiss against his cheek and he held you by your waist tightly, no matter how brief it was.

It would suffice for now, you both thought.

Of course, the members noticed something seemed off. It had been three days and normally you would be a bit more affectionate. They expected Wonwoo to run towards you as he always did, hold your hand, or wrap you in his arms. There was none of that and there was an unexplained tension between you.

Beneath your smiles and the excitement as you showed them around the area, you were just trying to power through the pounding headache and nausea, paired with your emotional turmoil. Joshua noticed it first, as always, and then Jeonghan. You had a tired look on your face, sunken eyes, and trembling hands as you instructed them. They immediately knew something was happening, they know you. No one was brave enough to voice it out, though you sensed their worries. 

When everyone finally settled down, you retreated to your room to answer emails and send updates to you bosses and to the team, delegating the first parts of the interview snippets that must be completed that day. You were sneezing endlessly and your temperature continued to rise as you pressed on working. Thankfully, the test kit was negative, so you knew it was just a regular bug.

Your time alone did not last too long as Jeonghan barged into your room, asking you about what happened. You denied and told him you were just sick, but Jeonghan did not buy it, so he held you hostage in your room until you finally shared that apart from being sick, the fight with Wonwoo was a huge factor on why you were not at your 100%. He knew the woes of being in a relationship and how it can impact one person, and for that you truly appreciated him.

"I'll ask Shua to bring you food."

"No, I'll be fine."

"Eeehh, I don’t care. Shut up and rest." He insisted, already leaving your cabin to go to the kitchen you assumed.

You caved in and you were only woken up when Joshua's soft voice echoed around the room and the smell of stew wafted through the air. You were leaning down the table napping when he saw you gently stirring awake. You had already lost track of time.

"You okay, Y/N?"

Joshua’s kind eyes widened as he saw you, worry evident in his voice as he placed the pot down, and gently assisted you to a better position. He dashed to get a pillow, placed it on the back of the chair to make it comfortable, and served you the stew he prepared for you.

"Since when are you sick?" He gently asked, handing you a spoon, and placing a hand against your forehead to feel your warm skin.

"This morning, I guess. It's just a bug, I'll be fine with some more sleep."

Joshua had always been caring towards you, like he would with other members. There was something about the way he paid attention to you that you appreciate a lot, but you never gave it another meaning. He has always been a gentle friend and he genuinely cares about everyone.

"Do you want me to call Wonwoo?"

"No, I am okay. Thank you so much, you should get back there. I need you guys in the camera." You managed to laugh before coughing, and he swiftly gave you a glass of water. He smiled gently at you, watching you savour the stew, staying just a little longer and ensuring you’d eat before leaving requested.

“Feel better, Y/N.”

-

Wonwoo saw Jeonghan and Joshua leave your cabin, and that did not help how he was feeling. He saw them preparing meals, and while he did not ask, he assumed it was for you since it was your favourite kimchi stew. Your name also popped up in the conversation as they prepared your meal, talking about you quietly as if hiding something. Instead of asking, Wonwoo chose to be quiet – thinking that your personal issues don't have a place there, you were there to work, after all.

He spent the night with the members, laughing, playing games, and just relaxing until it was time to sleep. You did not hear anything from him that night, but you saw him once you start checking footages when you woke up by the middle of the night. It was a relief to see him like that, resting and enjoying without any pressure despite technically still being at work.

The next day, the team had more free time to laze around or do as they pleased. Wonwoo and Joshua spent more time in the playroom after their brunch, working on their crafts or building blocks. The older member seized the opportunity to speak with your boyfriend, perhaps to gain more understanding of what was happening and why Wonwoo seemed to be in the dark about your situation.

"How's Y/N? Is she feeling better?" Joshua asked, testing the waters and checking whether Wonwoo even knew you were sick. Joshua did not see Wonwoo visit you that morning and not even when you were basically dragging yourself towards the production team to give instructions while you were covered in thick jackets and double masks.

Wonwoo's expression did not lie – there was flinch in his expression coupled with a surprised and worried look no matter how much he tried to hide it, "Yeah. She's okay... just busy." Wonwoo's jaw tensed.

Joshua nodded, fully taking in that it was right you got into a fight and that Wonwoo was unaware you were sick. "That's good to hear. You should spend time together once she's fully recovered. We've the week here, you know. And away from prying eyes, too, except ours of course." Joshua gave Wonwoo a knowing smile, trying to lighten the mood. 

Wonwoo smiled and nodded before walking outside the house just in time for Jeonghan to invite him for a walk. He felt weak, knees wobbling at the thought of you sick and upset, and then him unable to explain why he acted such way few nights ago.

Jeonghan and Wonwoo strolled through the woods, appreciating the nature and the privacy of the place despite cameras here and there. The sun peeked through the thick trees and the branches, casting a nice shadow around the trail they were walking on. Every one thought the place was amazing, carefully chosen for them in such a perfect time of the year. Wonwoo wanted to enjoy, but what's happening between you was eating him up for the past few days already.

Wonwoo understood it was only natural for Jeonghan to step in during such situation. He has always and been the team's mom-slash-counsellor, and the reason why he asked him to walk with him was clear – you. Jeonghan has always been such an observant but more than that, he cares a lot about you and Wonwoo separately and together.

"Do you know she's sick?" Jeonghan asked plainly, looking up at his younger brother who just shook his head.

"Yah!" He scolded Wonwoo with a disapproving look on his face and hit his arms. "I had to coerce her to tell me since when she was sick and learned she had not been sleeping well since the fight, too. She needs you now. I don't care what happened, but you need to fix it, you're obviously not okay too, and the show might be impacted because of this."

"I don't know how to start, hyung." Wonwoo mumbled, brows furrowed at he looked at his older brother as if seeking guidance. "She's still angry, I think."

"Aaah, you THINK? How many of her texts and calls did you ignore like she is a nuisance?"

"I tried calling yesterday... just —"

"She's already sick and working her ass off. Her heart was probably heavy, too, not knowing why you suddenly got angry at her." Jeonghan shared, just trying to make Wonwoo realize how much you need his support that moment especially.

"I am not angry."

"Then why did you act that way?"

Wonwoo could not speak. It was too complicated and embarrassing to admit.

They continued walking in silence as Wonwoo pondered on things. Seungcheol saw them and caught-up, and Wonwoo felt even more pressured as though his parents would be telling him off any minute then.

"Y/N looks like a zombie earlier. I got scared I saw her walking to get water in the fridge outside. I did not know she was sick!" Seungcheol chuckled as if amused but Jeonghan gave him the look that made him purse his lips.

"Ah, you fought?" Seungcheol asked Wonwoo.

"Yeah. My fault. I got jealous and was an ass towards her." Wonwoo finally admitted, scratching the back of his neck as Jeonghan and Seungcheol snorted and shook their heads. The couple casually laced their hands together, no fears at all as they savoured the secrecy of the place. Wonwoo’s heart ached, he wanted that, too. He wanted to hold your hands, watch the sunset and the stars with you, and bask in nature with you by his side.

"Do you doubt her? Your relationship?"

"No! Never!" Wonwoo was quick to respond. There was nothing like that. He trusts you wholeheartedly, but he just got insecure somehow, especially with the affection others showed you.

"Then why don't you tell her what's wrong? You know whatever it is, you are both adults, you just need to talk about it. That's what Hannie and I do every time. Just talk, communication is always the key, even though you hate that sometimes."

Seungcheol's advice were always practical and straightforward - an ace of a true leader. He has always been sensitive and considerate, but real blunt when needed.

"Besides," Jeonghan said, his voice softer this time as if trying to coax Wonwoo out of his bubble, "she misses you, but she is waiting and giving you time to come into your senses. Did you know she personally bought the telescope you requested because she wanted it to be special and based on what you really want?"

Wonwoo's eyes widened in surprise, then turned his head down as he answered a meek, "No."

"In the Soop is her baby and she is excited for this turn great, not for herself but for us members. And for you. She has been looking forward to it for months." Seungcheol added. "She'll listen to you whatever it is, Wonwoo, she loves you. You just have to trust yourself and trust her, too."

Guilt was eating Wonwoo inside. It hurt so much to hear that you were sick, and he wasn't even there to ask how you are and look after you. It hurt to hear that your friends know just how much you love him, yet he still acted that way that night. Jeonghan and Seungcheol were right, whatever it was, he needed to fix it. Wallowing in jealousy, fear and pride would not help.

Wonwoo nodded at them and released a deep breath, mumbling a soft thank you to the two.

"Now go, we need time alone." Seungcheol requested with a soft snicker, pointing towards the direction of your cabin. "Good luck."

-

Wonwoo's heart was pounding. He was too scared and anxious on how the conversation will end. There were endless scenarios in his head but most of all, he was frightened that you would really choose to leave. The gloomy weather that followed did not help either. He found himself by the tarp having tea with Minghao, trying to still compose himself before going. And, he did not go to you right away. If he was being honest, he just showered again to buy himself some more time.

Your cabin was secluded just a few steps from the main house, even then, he took slow and careful steps towards it. It was dark inside apart from the warm light coming from the open curtains of your cabin. He knew you were there as the producers forced you to rest the whole day. 

He silently approached your door which was slightly ajar and watched you. You were wrapped in blanket with your back facing the door as you browsed your phone and read conversations and missed messages, before locking it and curling up. His heart felt heavy seeing you like that, alone in the dark, sick, and worried. It was another punch in his gut that he could no longer bear.

The room smelt of berries and mint, the way it normally would whenever you just got out of shower. He always loved that smell, it reminds him of home every time, reminds him of you. He even got his own one he used whenever he was on tour and you weren’t with them just so he would not miss you too much. The smell is always a reminder of good times and that no matter how long the road takes him away, you would always be waiting for him. It stirred something inside him – he cannot lose you.

Finally taking a deep breath, he entered the room. You would know those footsteps from anywhere no matter how quiet it was, but even then, you weren't quick enough because in just a blink, the bed dipped as he crawled under the duvet, his arm wrapping around your middle to pull you plush against his body. Your heart clenched and despite everything that happened, his embrace was all you needed. A sudden wash of calm and relief flooded your entire being as if a heavy load was lifted off your chest. Eyes remaining closed, you allowed him to lace your fingers together and pulled him closer, too. No amount of sleep and rest can ever beat his warmth.

"I am sorry, Y/N." He whispered, pressing soft kisses against your shoulders and towards your neck and cheek, feeling him gently sniffling. "I am so sorry." His voice was merely a whisper, as if he was just thinking out loud.

Your heart ached, feeling a drop of his tear that made you turn your body to face him. You met his eyes brimming with tears as his lips quivered. The sight broke your heart. There was something behind those tears, a deeper reason why things turned out the way they did. Just how hurt he looked that moment made you pray to all the gods for them to take those pain away.

"Wonwoo, I am sorry, too." You whispered, wiping the lone tear that cascaded against his beautiful face. Before leaning in closer as he pulled you in to eliminate all the distance between you. He pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he tried to compose himself.

"I am so scared you'd leave me. I am scared that you would realize others can take better care of you, cook food when you're sick, say all the right things... I am scared you'd realize you deserve someone better." Wonwoo whispered softly, eyes searching yours. He was hurt, jealous, and frustrated, but most of all, anxious. Anxious that you would leave him after what happened and after how he acted. Anxious that he ruined his home.

"Hey, where is this coming from?" You asked soothingly, gently brushing your fingers through his scalp as you tried to get to the root of whatever was causing it.

He hesitated at first, pressing his lips together, unable to form words to explain how he felt.

"It's all okay, you can tell me, my love." You encouraged, massaging the back of his head to soothe him.

"Shua-hyung noticed you were sick. I did not even see it because I was so selfish and jealous. I got so jealous of him that night even though I should not have, I know it was just work. Then yesterday when he cooked for you –” He paused, brows scrunched up in frustration as his voice quivered, "I could not even cook for you, the best I could do is ramyeon, and I was not even here to take care of you when you were really sick!"

Memories of that day came flashing before your eyes. You did not notice that during the meeting Joshua was making you laugh and complimenting you every so often, but Wonwoo saw that. The way Joshua gave you a lingering hug and reminded you take it easy made Wonwoo evaluate whether he was able to give such comfort or whether he had become complacent and too comfortable with the relationship. He thought of all the times he was busy playing games for hours when you might have needed him. He thought of those times when he was not able to pay attention to you because he knew you were just there, and he knew you wouldn't leave. It scared him that he might’ve taken your presence for granted. He always felt the Joshua has feelings for you and he thought about how easy it would be to love such person.

You, on the other hand, never paid attention to such things because all you ever wanted was Wonwoo. That night all you were looking forward to was him alone. He always told you he'd like to be better at things, but you love him as he is. The simple mundane things you do together are more than enough – the way he complains whenever he is losing, the way he silently tangles himself with your body after long days at work, the way you gossip about stuff until the wee hours of the night, the way he brings you home little trinkets from tours whenever you were unable to come with them, and the way he holds you with nothing but soft reminders of just how much he loves you. You could not ask for more than what you both have.

He cupped your face and pressed his lips together, swallowing a lump of tear, "I’ll treat you better, see you better. I’ll be better. I can't lose you and I am terrified the last few days that maybe I just did."

"Wonwoo love, listen to me. I am sorry I made you feel that way. I am sorry that you got scared because of whatever I said or how I acted. To be honest, that night, I just really wanted you. I was looking forward to spending time with you and I was hurt and tired and overwhelmed with emotions. I did not mean to hurt you, baby. I never meant for that to scare you." You poured your heart out as if willing all the pain away as your tears finally escaped. "And I don't care if you can't cook, so long as you promise to wash the dishes and clean up whenever I do." You chuckled softly to lighten the mood which also made him let out a chuckle and nod.

“I am the best dishwashing fairy you can ask for,” He mumbled and pressed a kiss on your forehead.

"You are more than enough for me, Jeon Wonwoo. You take care of me the way I need to be taken care of. Your presence alone is enough. You are my safe place and my best friend. The other things are just… bonus. You are my favourite person since day 1, remember? I chose you, I choose you, and I will keep on choosing you."

Wonwoo's eyes glistened as he soaked up your words that vanished all his worries away. You left him speechless that all he can do was pour all his emotions in a passionate kiss, whispering ceaselessly, "I love you. I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Jeon Wonwoo."

-

You stayed like that for a few more minutes, tangled against each other as he pressed soft kisses on the top of your head. You breathed him in as if gaining strength from the way he embraced you and every pain the last few days seemed to have healed.

"You're still feverish, love." His deep voice rang in your ears, his hand pressing against and feeling your skin.

"Yeah, you really shouldn't have kissed me. You might get sick." You mumbled, looking up at him to see a softer gaze, calmer expression compared to how he looked earlier. You stayed like that, admiring every feature of his face, from his eyebrows, the perfect slope of his nose, his defined cupid's bow and lips, and those dazzling eyes. You could not help but smile in admiration. He's your home. He always will be.

"Why?" He asked, soft smile tugging against the corners of his lips as he saw you watching him intently.

"You okay now? We okay?" You gazed at those warm dazzling eyes and allowed yourself to get lost in them. His eyes always saw through you and that moment, you hoped he'd also see the sincerity behind everything you told him.

Wonwoo nodded and sighed in relief, pressing a sudden kiss on your lips, "More. than. okay." He mumbled in between pecks which made you chuckle softly, trying to mask the fact that the butterflies on your stomach were fluttering crazily.

"They're going to kill me if you get sick." You mumbled only to be silenced by more kisses and cuddles from him.

"It's a happy virus."

All was well.

Baby, I will be your happiness You're always on my mind, all the time Please don't forget this moment Oh, I can't hide it Geez, I want to give you all of my heart Oh my love, warmly call out for me when I'm by your side I'll only fill you with love Above that endless sky This night of stars pouring down Is looking at you sleeping next to me Dreaming the same dream and feeling the same way You see we are spending the same night together Even if I give you everything in the world I will never change Promise me eternity If you feel the same way as I do No matter what happens Don't worry, I'm by your side Oh, I want to know more about your day with me Oh my love, you are deeply positioned in my heart You are the brightest light In the many grains of sand I can only find you I want to protect you who's sleeping next to me in this night Every moment without you is meaningless, no ooh-oh Even the reason why I breathe Is because my heart wants to have you in it

--

BONUS:

“Wonwoo-hyung?” Mingyu’s voice boomed around your cabin, dragging you back to earth from the dreamland after being asleep for a few hours. You stayed up with the members and some managers drinking and chatting until sunrise as it was the only time they got to spend with you. “You here? We need to go by noon!”

Mingyu entered your room upon hearing you grumbling, which caused him to giggle and plop into your bed nonchalantly. “You okay, noona?”

“You’re so loud!” You groaned and pulled a pillow to yourself when Mingyu hogged the cover as if he was about to sleep as well. “Wonwoo, your husband is here!” You yelled sleepily, hoping your boyfriend who was busy in the shower could hear you so you can enjoy the quiet once more.

“Hyung, make it quick! We’ll leave soon.” Mingyu hopped off the bed, walking around the room towards the mirror to fix his clothes. “Wanna tag along, noona?” He asked only to burst out laughing when he saw you glowering at him just as the door opened to your boyfriend who was already dressed and ready for their fishing trip. Wonwoo tried holding back his chuckle at how you looked, lips pressed firmly as she struggled.

“Leave quick, I want to sleep more please.” You groused once more, throwing a pillow at them making Mingyu run towards the door and bid you a teasing goodbye.

Your brows furrowed in the pounding headache, and you swore you were never drinking again. You felt your skull being split into two from the hang-over and you did not even drink that much. You thought maybe that it was because you were sick few days back, but historically, alcohol had always helped you.

“You okay?” Wonwoo asked, worried as he watched you. He had memorized your quirks already – he knows your HO cure like how you know his – but still he could not help but worry.

“Yeah, just headache… need grease…”

“Ack babe, you can no longer hold your liquor.” He teased playfully, already fetching pain killers and a bottle of electrolyte drink for you. “Quick, take this before sleeping again.” He sat by the bed and helped you sit, popping the pill into your mouth, helping you drink, and wiping your lips. “Good girl. Hang-on, I’ll elevate your pillows.” Wonwoo mumbled, adjusting your pillows and tucking you back in a comfortable position so you can sleep more.

“Thank you, love.” You mumbled, eyes closed as you blindly held on to his arm to thank him.

“I’ll buy you grease on our way back.” He smiled and left gentle pecks on your lips and then pulled away to shut the curtains close before making his way out.

You slept for another hour until you needed to get up and work.

And as promised, Wonwoo came back with your HO cure – a nice, meaty beef burger which melted your hang-over immediately.

-

The night went deeper in the forest, but you hadn’t seen Wonwoo for most of the time since he brought your burger. Everyone seemed to be busy with their own stuff with some ruckus from afar. Shaking your head, you turned your attention towards the computer screen, writing reports around footages taken that day for editing reference and arranging the metadata for the snippets.

Like how it has always been with the members, your solitude was broken with a loud banging on your door.

“Noona!” Hoshi greeted ever cheerfully, walking towards you. “Can you help me with something please?”

“Depends.” You chuckled, “What is it?”

Hoshi just smiled mischievously, his eyes completely vanishing as he did so. “Let’s go, I’ll show it to you.”

Surrendering, you nodded and followed him outside your room towards the darker way deeper into the forest.

“What is it, Hoshi?”

“We’re near.” He muttered as you reached the pathway towards the gazebo lit by lanterns.

You were at a loss for words at what you saw next.

“Yaaah, what’s this?” Your heart fluttered against your chest as you tried taking in what was happening.

The members were there, all lined up, each holding a sunflower they handed over to you one by one before walking sideways in a perfect relay. Your cheeks hurt from beaming throughout until you reached Mingyu who was the last one to give you the flower.

“Hope you’re no hung-over anymore, noona.” He winked and gave you the sunflower, then stepped aside to reveal your boyfriend.

Wonwoo stood there holding three sunflowers, a huge, loving smile painted on his face as you took slow steps towards each other.

“What’s this?” You were stunned as you asked the question, hear racing against your ribcage as you met his gaze.

“Y/N, would you go on a date with me? Now?” Wonwoo inquired ever so smoothly, earning loud whooping cheers from the members.

“Of course, I would.” You flushed, taking the flowers he handed over to you, eyes never leaving his chocolate ones.

You looked back at the team to thank them. They waved goodbye, proud of their perfect execution, asking you and Wonwoo to enjoy your time together.

With hands intertwined, Wonwoo led you towards the gazebo now all decked up with lanterns and the telescope you bought for him. A picnic cloth laid in the middle of the gazebo, with two bottles of non-alcoholic sparkling wine and a huge charcuterie board filled with your favourite types cheeses and cold-cuts sitting by.

You were utterly amazed by everything, unable to comprehend how Wonwoo pulled off such surprise once more, and in the middle of the forest to add to that.

Your heart was full, as always, because of him.

“Love…” A dreamy sigh left your lips as you faced him. “How? Why?”

Wonwoo turned bashful but held you closer by your waist, “I’ve always wanted to remake our first ever ‘date’ in the back of my car, and somehow elevate it. This time we can really watch the stars and not just the city lights.”

“Oh Jeon Wonwoo, the man that you are.” Filled with astonishment, you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and closed the distance between you, pouring all your emotions in that passionate exchange.

Under the endless velvet sky and glimmering stars, you once again reminded each other that you are feeling the same way and dreaming the same dream, and that if eternity is true, you both can rest in certainty that no matter what happens, you are always each other’s haven and your hearts would always want each other.

---

Thank you for reading, darling. 💗💙 Coming Soon: MAMA 2019 and some real fluffy and steamy Yuletide stuff. 💗💙

[antonsgf]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ bf!anton pt. 2 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

bye this is so long overdue oops !! part one is here !!

bf!anton likes to send you little texts throughout the day just to update you on what he's doing while on schedules and he most definitely miss you :(

he would also send tik toks and .5 pics of his hyungs just for funisies and you should send some back !!!

speaking of tik toks, yall would spend hours creating some !! your drafts are filled with 100s of silly little videos

especially trendy couple vids like this one :))

bf!anton would definitely bring you around to hang out with his hyungs and of course they would tease him !!

but don't worry because you would definitely defend your man if needed be !!

like imagine one night yall are having a group movie night and you're all snuggled up next to tonny and giving him a smooch on the cheek

next thing you know eunseok is like "ugh get a room :P"

without a beat your response would be like "damn bro i would be mad too if i didn't have someone kissing up on me like get a gf :P"

everyone is like ":O ohhhhhh shit!" "you finally met your match hyung :)" lmao you and eunseok would go toe to toe !!

you gets down and you dont play about your tonny !! it's all jokes though so no worries :))

aside from that anton would feel so much pride and happiness from the sight of you getting along with his hyungs esp sohee !! but like sohee was lowkey his wingman tho LMAOOO

tonny is an unconfirmed taurus venus, which in my delulu head means one of his favorite things to do with you is taking a nap or cuddling which leads to said naps !!

he just give top tier cuddler like !! his arms look so warm and welcoming adafklhfjhafjhd

imagine yall cuddling up all nice and peaceful !! you're wearing one of his t-shirts and he's holding you all warm and snug throughout the night against his chest ahhh !! i would simply just die right then and there fr !!

the next morning you wake up with his arms still around you and you're like stuck physically because his arms are locked in !!

it's always the same scenario of you two being like

"ant we gotta get up :3" "ahh just five more minutes baby :3"

his sleepy self would refuse to let go because being bed with you is like paradise !! and he doesn't want it to end...unless...

"i'll make your special yogurt parfait you like for breakfast :)"

he would relunctantly let you go but only because how could he turn down his special greek yogurt parfait that he is more than capable of making himself made by the love of his life ???

and it's not even all that !! you literally found a recipe on tiktok and made it for him one day !! now he texts you every now and then wishing you were around to make it !!

"babe it's literally four ingredients ??" "but it's not the same when you don't make it :(("

food would be another part of his love language because we all know how much our boy loves his snacks !!

and how could you deny your boyfriend from a treat that's handmade from you ?? like make it make sense ??

thanks for reading and waiting lmaooo !! might make make this a series but no promises !!

feel free to send me asks or let me know what yall think :3

♡ kimmia ♡

[exo-raskreia]

More on Utahime's potential in the Shinjuku Showdown Arc

WARNING: DELULU IDEAS + MANGA SPOILERS

So, GOJO HAS RISEN 🥳 (potentially). We'll see in the next chapter or so 😥. There are several ways this could've happened. In this post, however, I will mostly focus on Utahime.

(My reaction to chapter 260 at end of post)

Chapter 259 once again showcased flashbacks of the other characters strategizing against Sukuna, except for Gojo, Utahime, Gakuganji & Ijichi. At this point, one's inclined to believe that team was up to something during the time-skip. It's getting too obvious now.

In this post, I talked about Utahime's potential role in Gojo's revival and/or maybe have another equally important role in this arc.

While some ideas still stand, I thought of some others.

• One of my delulu theories was that Utahime & team could summon Sukuna with his 20th finger to a new vessel (maybe back to Yuuji) or maybe do something else with it, & I just got the idea that what if it's with Nobara's help? With Todo's return & the strange imagery in that recent MV for the opening of the Phantom Parade mobile game, "Avant" by Eve, which potentially foreshadows Gojo's return, & even shows Nobara's Straw Doll CT, Sukuna's new domain, etc., could it be Nobara will return as well? Could she use her Resonance on Sukuna's 20th finger, as it was revealed in 259 that Yuuji's & Sukuna's souls are still connected? (As of right now, it's possible Yuuta may be storing the finger inside Rika, so I wonder about the retrieval of it...)

Another possibility is what if they were doing something with the Prism Realm? That MV showed a bunch of those boxes with creepy eyes, like Sukuna's... What if Gojo's "special training" that he mentioned in 223 had to do with that? Like, maybe his team found a way to train in the box, as time flies differently? Or they were figuring out a way to seal Sukuna? In that same MV, we see paper seals on the boxes, so what if Utahime, as a shrine maiden, made them? Is it possible the team found or created more than one Prism, or something similar?

One thing that worries me is that the only ones who know about Yaga's secret CT are Gakuganji & Gojo. It hasn't been brought up again so... Were they planning something with that? Related to Gojo or maybe Nobara? I don't like the implications, though...

Because of that lingering connection between Sukuna & Yuuji, it seems like Sukuna was able to be a step ahead of everyone due to seeing/sensing all the sorcerers' plans that Yuuji had been a part of during the time-skip. Now, we know that Todo had kept his comeback secret from Yuuji so as not to alert Sukuna. Which could mean...that Utahime's CT was also kept a secret from Yuuji.

Sukuna still doesn't know about it. We know that Yuuji never knew about it while harboring Sukuna, & it seems that this was kept from him even during the time-skip? So, it means that he had no idea what Gojo was planning for his initial attack nor what else he was potentially doing during the time-skip.

Was this Gojo's idea? Did he just want to show off their 200% Hollow Purple? Is it because Utahime is a trump card? And/or is it to protect Utahime? (oof, Gojo, if that's so, we see u~ 👀)

To add to this, we got some recent content that makes me wonder if something regarding Utahime's character may actually happen. This is all mere wishful thinking speculation, of course.

• In the upcoming JJK exhibition (summer 2024), Gege is releasing some rough drafts from the manga & will apparently elaborate on his creative process when making them. One of them is the "You cryin'?" scene from chapter 65.

Out of all his rough drafts, he chose this one as one of the main ones for promo... 👀

In the original text here, Gojo said, "You're weak, so don't go on business trips too often." /OR "You're weak, so don't push yourself too hard."

(translation varies. Here, here, & here for further context)

The text seems to imply that Gojo didn't want Utahime to go so far away for missions (she was 3 hours away by train from Tokyo), or that she shouldn't take on such dangerous missions. Is it because he wouldn't be able to get to her sooner if she needed help, since at the time, he couldn't teleport yet? 👀

Gege changed it to "I came to save you" in the official release. Why, though? We could still tell Gojo was worried for Utahime due to him leaving the supervisor & his teammates behind to go save her from the mansion, forgetting to put up the curtain, & using Blue (which at the time, was exhausting to use) while managing to leave her unscathed. Did Gege think Gojo's concern for Utahime would be too obvious with the original text, though? 😏

• The characters got some updates on their profiles for the upcoming 4th character popularity poll. However, while most of the others got some slight changes, Utahime's only reiterates that she's a very good singer.

(Used Google Translate)

(We wish Gege would just give us more info on her but oh well 😮‍💨...)

Even this article finds the brief description strange.

Why did Gege bring this up again? Why not simply say she's a very good dancer instead, as we now know? He had said in the 2021 fanbook that her singing is a huge part of her CT, but we have yet to see it in action (unless the chanting for her 120% counted?). Some people had already lost hope that we'd get it, so is he implying that it's still something to look forward to? That her VA, Yoko Hikasa's singing talent, won't actually go to waste in the future? That Utahime still has a role to play? 👀

• On April 2, in order to commemorate Vol. 26 of the manga (containing infamous chapter 236), Shounen Jump uploaded a lofi video to their official YouTube channel in which we see edited versions of Gojo's memories. These mysterious edits have made people theorize that Gojo's memories have become a distorted mess in his brain, which is implied to be damaged in his (potentially) current state between life & death.

Utahime & Shoko appear with Gojo in one of the images.

Both girls have been theorized to help bring back Gojo. Utahime seems to be the focal point here, however, while Shoko is more in the background. Her appearance is that of her & Gojo's phone call scene, which had lasted 3min 41s in the anime (341, guys). Why is Utahime more prominent to him here, instead of his former teammate & closest friend?

(Full delulu) Could this be foreshadowing that Utahime will be the one to call Gojo back from the airport? That she will use her singing to reach him? Lure him like a siren or something? Or, like I said before in my aforementioned delulu post, does her singing have healing abilities?

Got the idea from this post that in the edit, it's like Gojo's heading (north) towards the girls, & since Utahime is at the center (of Gojo's distorted memory, mind u 😌), could it be implying she really will be the key to help guide him back? While Shoko is busy healing him?

AND SO...onto chapter 260:

GOJO HAS RISEN?! 🤩

(Gege, u better not be playing... Sukuna better not be hallucinating or smth...😑)

Right now, the Binding Vow theory seems the most popular, & while I don't like it, it's still possible. However, would this discredit the theory that Shoko healed him? And/or that Utahime buffed her? Maybe not. Shoko did say in 258 that the efficacy of her RCT can depend on the person's body/CE being healed. So, would Gojo have had to give up something, like his right eye, in order for Shoko's RCT to work, in case his CE was rejecting hers? 🤔😓

Gege will explain what's going on in the next chapters. As Gojo's return does seem rather sudden & random, it's possible it may not be official YET, but it doesn't mean it won't happen. So if this is a fluke, I do believe Gojo will return at a crucial moment.

Whether it was/will be thru a BV or with outside help, we will see. Either way, this also means that Utahime is coming back!! We'll finally see her again!! Where there is Gojo, there is Utahime. WE'RE GETTING THAT FLASHBACK, TRUST. Incredible how Gege timed this so closely with last year's chapter 222 in May, in which Gojo gets unsealed, & then in 223, Utahime reappears after a long absence WITH him. WILL GEGE DO THIS AGAIN? OH, MAN-

Ok, I know I'm fully delulu & Gege may go against all our expectations in the next chapter or so, so I'll try to keep them low. We'll see... He's not off the hook yet... 😕😫

[sleep-drunk-kitten]

pairing: Jay x fem!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst/miscommunication trope? if you squint? Oneshot bullet point fic

content warnings: none

Summary: Sunoo is sick of watching you pine after Jay when he clearly has feelings for you too, so he devises a plan to give the two of you some much needed alone time

notes: this was the result of a very delusional conversation I had with @nar-nia, thank you for fueling my delulu thoughts and beta reading the first draft love <3 I would never have posted this if it wasn't for your support ;*

Everything below the cut is NOT proofread

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

You were going to kill Jake and Sunoo

This was all their fault

They were the ones who had insisted that you all leave the “stuffy” confines of the airbnb your friendgroup had rented for your annual trip to the beach to visit the boardwalk and amusement park barely an hour after you’d all arrived

Doing everything in their power to drag a spaced out Sunghoon and a tired looking Jay along

Sunoo sulking and singing an extremely off-key rendition of “part of your world” while dragging you through the living room in a clumsy waltz, gesturing dramatically at the large glass windows leading out onto the patio to emphasise his point every time he hit a line about dancing or walking

When his attempts at annoying them into going inevitably failed, he decided the only thing left was to get both you and niki on his side and beg

Convincing Niki was a bit of a task, the younger boy content to lounge around on a beanbag with his nintendo

He probably would’ve stayed there had if it was only Sunoo asking him for help... purely for the sake of annoying his hyung

But Jake overheard Sunoo's whispered pleas, and when he joined the campaign and asked the younger boy for help, Niki couldn’t really find it in him to say no

Enlisting your help was significantly easier, even if you were a bit annoyed by his earlier antics

Because while you were close to everyone in your little group, Sunoo in particular had a special place in your heart, having been by your side since childhood, you would do almost anything for him

Even if it meant putting on an indifferent facade in front of the man you’d been in love with for an unhealthily long time

Jay really didn’t want to go to the amusement park

although the rest of you had gotten to sleep and recharge between stops, he and Sunghoon were both tired after staying alert and herding you all from place to place all morning

All he wanted to do was sleep

But Sunoo had somehow managed to rope both you and Niki in on his schemes 

It would have been hard enough to say no to his precious little brother

But you?

How could he say no when you were asking so nicely? Pleading your case by saying that this was a trip you’d all taken to make memories together, so what was the point if Jay and Sunghoon weren’t there with you?

God you were just too cute

Jay tries to appeal to you and Niki, knowing there’s no point in trying to talk Sunoo out of this

“But (y/n)-ah, Niki, we’re tired, it’s been such a long day, can’t we just stay in till dinnertime?”

“Exactly,” Sunghoon says from his spot beside Jay, eyes coming back into focus for the first time since you’d started speaking, “we could always go tomorrow, the fair isn’t going anywhere.”

“It is, actually,” Heeseung joins the fray, walking into the living room from the kitchen, looking at something on his phone. “Or at least the ferris wheel is, they’re closing it down for maintenance tomorrow, and it won’t be open again till the day we’re leaving.”

“See! Heeseung gets it!” you exclaim, high fiving him.

Jay feels his heart sink just a little at the sight

It had been almost two years since Niki had told him about your feelings for Heeseung, casually dropping the bomb as the two of them sat on lawn chairs by Jake’s pool, watching you try and fail to yank him off a large unicorn shaped pool float and into the water

Jay had played it cool, laughing along like it meant nothing

Except it did

Because Jay had realised very early on in your friendship that he was a dead man walking

From the moment when Sunoo dragged you over to their table at lunch, announcing that you were his best friend, and you’d introduced yourself with a nervous little smile on your face

To the days where you walked home with them, laughing and bickering with Jake over silly things like whether or not water was wet and if black was a color

And all the times he’d seen you sitting quietly with Niki, allowing him to lean on you like an older sister 

With every day that passed, Jay had found himself falling faster and faster, till he got to a point where he feared there was no return 

But he was too late

You liked Heeseung

And whether you chose to act on that or not, it just wasn’t his place to try and win you over when you liked someone else

So he sets his feelings aside, packing them neatly away and schooling his expression into something as neutral as possible

“That’s just the ferris wheel though, isn’t it?” Sunghoon asks, still trying to find a reason to stay curled into the soft couch cushions

“Yeah but (y/n)’s been looking forward to trying the ferris wheel since we started planning!” Sunoo whines, nudging you pointedly

“Mnmm!” you nod, It wasn’t exactly true, you’d only mentioned once that the ferris wheel looked pretty

But they didn’t have to know that

“Really, (y/n)?” Jay asks

You nod enthusiastically, not knowing how much you’d regret it

Jay can feel his resolve crumbling, how could he deny you anything when you look so genuinely excited about it? He’d rather drown himself in the sea than be one to take that away from you

So here you all were, walking along the crowded boardwalk, passing by booths with an assortment of hand crafted souvenirs and trinkets on display against a backdrop of colorful cloths, the smell of warm sugar and sizzling street foods mingling with the ocean breeze

It was all fun and games at first, all of you trying foods, taking pictures, walking up to a few stalls and attempting to win prizes, competing to see who could walk away with the biggest stuffed toy that night

You were laughing, joking around with Jungwon, winning a large duck plushie for Niki, twirling around and showing off the pretty sundress you’d thrown on when Sunoo pointed his camcorder at you

Blissfully unaware of the pointed looks passing between him and Jake

The two of them had noticed early on the way Jay stuck close to you

Carefully placing himself between you and any other tourists who were brushing past a little too close for comfort

Watching you twirl for the camera with such a nauseatingly lovesick expression on his face that Sunoo nearly gagged

Only to move away as soon as Heeseung approached you

Giving the two of you “space”

Space to do what exactly Sunoo had no idea

Sure you’d liked Heeseung when you’d first been introduced to his friends

But that hadn’t lasted long at all

Your affections quickly shifting to someone else

The poor pink-haired boy had lost count of the number of times he’d had to listen to you complain about how handsome Jay was

How kind and attentive he was

What an amazing husband he’d be one day

How lucky his future wife would be

Sunoo wanted to grab you by the shoulders and remind you that there was a fair chance that that future wife could be you

He had done just that on more than one occasion

But you brushed him aside every time

Saying there was no way Jay could ever have feelings for you

It drove him insane

Especially when he noticed the way Jay looked at you 

Jake was thankfully spared from most of your rants

But he was very much aware of how you felt

And he agreed with Sunoo, there was absolutely no way Jay didn’t return your feelings

So the two of them had come up with a plan

At some point, Jake let slip that while you were very excited about riding he ferris wheel, you were actually scared to go on because you were afraid of heights

You turned to him in surprise, unsure how to respond to the wholly false claim without exposing the fact that you’d lied about wanting to ride the ferris wheel in the place

Sunoo joined in a moment later, complaining about how he’d tried to convince you that it wasn’t all that scary, that these things were checked regularly to ensure they were safe, but that you just wouldn’t listen

You’d elbowed him in the ribs, confusion painted across your features

When Jay made a suggestion 

An absolutely terrifying one

“Well… one of us could go with you if you’d like? It probably won’t be as bad if you’re not all by yourself”

“That would be brilliant! But Jake and I promised to go in the haunted house with Niki…”

“I could go with her then, I don’t really feel like scaring myself silly when I won’t be sleeping in my own bed tonight.”

“Could you? That would be great! Whaddya say (y/n)?”

All three pairs of eyes land on you, and for a moment you feel your mouth go dry

On a ferris wheel… In a small glass box… alone… with Jay…

It sounds absolutely terrifying

“I’m not too sure…” you start to say, but Jay bumps his shoulder against yours, and when you manage to will yourself to look at him, he’s smiling down at you

“C’mon, I’ll be right there with you he whole time,” he says, “you’ll regret it more if you don’t go.”

You swallow around the lump that’s formed in your throat

He’s right

You were the one who’d gone on and on about making memories 

Here was a prime opportunity to build a memory you’d surely never forget

Wouldn’t you regret it more if you chickened out now?

“Okay…I’ll go,” you said

And the cheers that erupted from the three boys were so infectious that you forgot about the nervous butterflies filling your chest

Until of course you were actually on the ferris wheel

The glass doors sliding shut to seal your fate

You hadn’t known that there was only one seat in the capsul 

Hadn’t counted on being right next to Jay, your thighs occasionally knocking together 

The proximity was doing nothing to help the racing of your heart, sharp pinpricks of heat blossoming under your skin and spreading up your neck and ears

“(y/n), you there?”

Jay’s voice startles you a little, and you wince before you can catch yourself

“Huh? Oh yeah… I’m here, sorry”

Your familiar, nervous laugh makes Jay smile a little, reminding him of the day you first met

But he quickly brushes the memory aside, choosing to focus on you

You seemed uncomfortable

Were you really this afraid of heights?

He tries his best to smile reassuringly, tilting his head to one side so he’s looking up at you instead of it being the other way round

“Well hello, welcome back,” he says, unaware of the way those few words send the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy

“Hi…” you manage back, mentally patting yourself on the back for how normal your voice sounds

“Hi,” he chuckles, and the sound makes your brain go a little fuzzy, so much so that you barely register it when he gestures behind him. “I know you’re avoiding looking out for a reason, but you really should.”

“What? Oh, right, I- ooh.”

You sigh, suddenly forgetting why you’d been panicking in the first place

“It’s beautiful…” you say, but you’re also looking at Jay when you say it, golden light washing over his skin, making him glow against the backdrop of the sea

“It is,” he says, and if you’d been paying more attention, you would have noticed two things:

Jay’s back was to the sunset, he’d been looking at you the whole time

The ferris wheel had stopped moving some moments prior

Unfortunately for you both, your mind only processes the second, your eyes as wide as dinner plates when your brain catches up with your body and the lack of motion finally sets in

“Jay… Is this ride supposed to stop?”

“No?”

“No?!” 

“I mean I’m pretty sure it’s not?!”

Realisation dawns on you, and you rush to the side of the pod, watching as Sunoo and Jake, your own best friend smiles back you, blowing you a kiss

You know what they'd done.

You know because you would have done the same in a heartbeat

The butterflies in your chest seem to double, wings beating frantically against your ribcage 

The panic that had temporarily subsided beginning to creep back up your spine

Buzzing through your veins and going straight to your head

How long would you be up here? What were you supposed to do when your heart felt like it was caught in your throat? How were you supposed to remain calm when Jay was sitting right next to you looking so so beautiful knowing he probably thought you were insane for freaking out like this when it really wasn't a big deal and you should have been fine and-

“Hey, hey, calm down, breathe, I was wrong, stop looking out there (y/n).”

Oh no

He’s touching you now, a hand on your arm pulling you back, tugging you away from the glass and the view that honestly didn’t scare you as much as he thought it did

And closer to him

The real reason you felt like you were going to vibrate right out of your skin

Your eyes dart around almost frantically, focusing on anything but him

Jay watches you fidget in your seat, hands clasped together in your lap, face flushed, breathing uneven

He’s never seen you like this before

And he can’t help but blame himself

He should’ve never let Sunoo and Jake talk you into this 

“(y/n), (y/n) please, I need you to breathe, look at me please.”

His hands come up to gently cup your cheeks, turning your face away from the “frightening” view outside and forcing you to make direct eye contact with him

You feel your heart stutter where it’s lodged in your throat

“Focus on me, please, don’t think about anything else, just focus and breathe for me, yeah?”

You could cry

Tears welling up in the corners of your eyes

Jay has absolutely no idea how difficult he’s making this for you

Completely clueless to the way the deepening crease between his brows makes you want to kiss it

How the way his lips are pressed together with worry makes your heart flip in your chest

“(y/n), I can feel you shaking, this is just a technical difficulty, you’re okay, nothing’s going to happen.”

But I want it to

The words rest on the tip of your tongue

You want something to happen

The longer you stare at him the harder it is to focus on his eyes, the task proving impossible with the way your heart squeezes painfully in your chest at how soft and open they are, how intently he’s looking at you, it makes you feel like you’re special to him when you know you’re not

He’s looking out for you the same way he would Niki or Jungwon 

You need to remember that

But not looking at his eyes means looking at the rest of him

Which you soon discover is almost as dangerous, because what you find yourself focusing on now is his lips

The way they curve around the vowels of your name as he tries to talk you through the jumbled, scattered thoughts and feelings he's causing

Oh the irony

But he's not really faring much better

Jay feels like he’s going insane

He sees the way your eyes keep flickering across his face

Settling on his lips just a little too long for his peace of mind

You're making him question how you really feel about him

Pulling at the strings wound tightly across the box of memories he'd stashed neatly away

Moments where he'd been sure you looked at him in ways friends weren't really supposed to look at each other

He can't do this

Jay pulls his hands away from your face, allowing them to flutter over your skin

Over your jaw

Down your neck

Across your shoulders

Before coming to settle on your upper arms

Leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake, gently pushing you away, holding you at arms length, his body bowed as if in pain

“You can’t do that (y/n),” he breathes, letting out a shuddering breath

“Jay?” your voice is barely anything above a whisper, fear creeping in with the panic

 Did he see? Did he notice? Did you somehow manage to make him uncomfortable after everything you’d doen to avoid that exact scenario?

“You can’t keep looking at me like that when you have feelings for Heeseung.”

It takes a moment for his words to sink in, for the cogs in your mind to turn them over and process them through white noise and fog filling your head like cotton 

And when they finally do sink in, you blanch, willing yourself to get it together, to apologise, to do whatever you had to do to salvage the situation

But Jay speaks again before you can

“I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

It’s Jay’s turn to swallow around the lump in his throat, his grip on your arms tightening, face downturned, staring at the peeling blue vinyl between you

The butterflies in your chest slow, settling along your ribs so the anxious beating of their wings stills to a steady thrum

“What do you mean by that?” you ask, surprising yourself with how calm you sounded

“I mean… I mean that you have no idea how insane it makes me when I see you with him, when you’re laughing together and you smile at him like he’s your whole world, because I wish you’d look at me like that, because… and I know it’s selfish but I wish that I could be the only one to make you laugh… But I know that you like Hee, and that’s okay, my feelings are my own, it’s not on you to take responsibility for them, but I need to take care of my own heart (y/n) I feel like I’m losing my mind I-”

“Jay,” you cut him off, voice coming out more harsh than you’d intended, but it works, his mouth snapping shut immediately. “Jay, look at me please,” you say, more gently this time. 

He does as you ask, and your heart breaks a little when you realise that his eyes are as glassy as yours

You place your hands over his, and for one, horrible moment, though he knows he deserves it, though he knows you have every right to, he thinks you’re going to tear yourself away from him. 

But you don’t. 

Your hands are warm against his, too warm, and they’re still shaking, but they’re moving his lower, over your elbows, onto your sides, till they come to rest on your waist. He can feel your pulse in your wrists, matching his beat for anxious beat

He’s so distracted by how soft you feel and how perfectly you fit in his hands that he flinches when you lean towards him, moving away from you on instinct

Cute, you think, unable to stop the corners of your mouth from twitching upwards

“What if I want to?” you whisper, his pupils blown wide as he searches your expression, “what if I want to take responsibility for your feelings?”

For a moment, you’re sure neither of you remembers how to breathe. The world standing still

Jay isn’t really sure he’s capable of forming a coherent sentence, words rushing through his skull and coming to an abrupt halt before they could make it past his lips

So he settles for the next best thing 

Slowly, his hand moves from your waist, brushing against your knuckles, tentatively lacing his fingers through your own, careful to give you time to pull away should you wish to

But you don’t

No

You level your gaze with his, giving his hand a gentle squeeze as if to say ‘go on’

He lets out a breath, he didn’t know he was holding, cautiously bringing your hand up to his lips, barely brushing them over your skin before turning your hand over and placing a soft, chaste kiss against your palm

His eyes don’t leave yours for even a moment, watching you intently, gauging your reactions. When you don’t flinch or move away, he lets your entwined hands fall to the side. 

“What about Heeseung?” he asks, even as he’s leaning towards you, even when you can feel the ghost of his lips on yours.

You giggle despite yourself, bringing your free hand up to thread your fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. “It was never him, silly…” 

A shiver runs down his spine, whether from your words or your actions neither of you can really say

And it doesn’t really matter anyway

Your eyes flutter closed, you can feel the warmth radiating off his skin-

And the ferris wheel starts turning again with a sharp jolt

Sending you crashing into each other, foreheads knocking together painfully

You both groan in pain, looking around confusedly, trying to regain your bearings as the moment passes

When your eyes meet again, and you realise that your hands are clasped together tightly between you, neither of you can stop the fit of giggles bubbling up in your chests

You’re both still laughing by the time you make it back to the bottom, the doors sliding open to reveal your friends waiting for you with triumphant smiles on their faces

Niki grumbling as he hands Sunoo several folded bills 

You let go of Jay’s hand the second you see it, marching over to kick their shins 

“You didn’t even go to the haunted house did you?” you whisper-yell, glaring daggers at them

Sunoo’s smile is pure evil, flicking your nose and replying in the most annoyingly smug tone you’d ever heard. “Now now, (y/n), is that any way to talk to the person who so graciously helped you get over the pathetic moping phase of your crush?”

“Which lasted much too long by the way,” Jake chimes in, joining the conversation 

“You were in on this?!” 

“You weren’t exactly subtle sweetheart, Jay was just fed false information thanks to this kid.”

“Excuse me?” 

The bickering continues as you all walk away from the ferris wheel, Niki and Jake both getting whacked over the head with the large pink octopus Sunoo had won for you as an apology (the only reason he wasn’t getting beaten up too)

It isn’t until the two of them run away from you, cackling like hyenas, that you feel an arm wrap round your waist

Holding you loosely, Jay leans down so only you can hear him

“We’ll finish that conversation later, (y/n).”

And then he’s gone

Leaving you standing there, feeling flustered enough to match the octopus in your arms, glaring at a snickering Sunoo

[zerojobprospects]

NOTE: I wrote this draft ages ago after one of my early watchings of the film and my interpretations have changed, but I'm still posting this because I think it's kind of interesting even if it leaves stuff out, and it's cool to see the evolving of the thought process. I'll follow up in the reblogs with something written a while afterwards that's more in line with my current thoughts.

Cal's response to Andre's somewhat delulu ideas around Zero Day is sooo interesting. Cal shows some level of disregard, almost, for Andre's bravado throughout the movie. One of his personal tapes has him revealing that Andre wants to do a lil Bonnie and Clyde thing after the shooting, and Cal knows that's not gonna be happening, but doesn't seem to have any interest in bringing Andre back down to reality or informing him of his own true intentions (suicide no matter what). Andre is over the moon about the egging, Cal seems to be going along with it. Andre dramatically sets off the bottle rocket, Cal is kinda like "that's it? Ok lol". He entertains Andre's flair for grandiosity (and Cal certainly has a streak of that himself, based on the way he talks about Zero Day) but his attitude towards Andre's vision of Zero Day seems verging on not caring that much. He's there to kill people and kill himself, and he's very grounded in that. He knows that Andre isn't.

This could be seen in a few ways:

1. He knows that Andre needs to see it this way or he's not gonna do it, and because Cal sees this is a big, super important thing for them to do together, he's letting Andre do what he needs to do. At the end, he eases Andre into suicide because he knows it's the best option at this point, and believes that it was all worth it.

2. He knows Andre needs to see it this way or he's not gonna do it, and he needs Andre largely for the technical stuff.

The draft was followed up with:

Andre was gonna come in there on May 1st w a fucking tap routine prepared but he couldn't get Cal to agree to it so he called it off and left it out of the tapes

[stay-tiny-ville]

Han Jisung

Summary ~ Delulu thoughts of baby gurl Han Jisung and why the hell can’t men like this exist where I am (Or just my head going wild with dating head cannons of Han Jisung)

A.N. - I have heard your pleas for more Stray Kids before I move on to Ateez and I come to deliver DONT WORRY BABIES I HAVE 14 DRAFTS

A.N. 2 - I haven’t really checked word counts my brain just kinda goes on and on so if ones are longer than others I deeply apologize 🧎🏻‍♀️

A.N. 3 - also I’m genuinely confused if I can actually consider them head cannons if these are kind of mainly blurbs in each (if you can’t tell idk how to classify these)

———————————————————

Dawg, dude, sweetheart, baby, babe, angel are names he’d call you

Def the best friend boyfriend

That’s probably how you got together was from being best friends because he’d probably be too anxious to get with someone he had feelings for that he didn’t know on a deep level

You two are on top of each other at all times

Like laying on top of each other when one is already laying down

Full weight where the other can’t breathe

Or laying full body weight on them while they are doing stuff out and about

One only gets out of bed/off the couch if the other carries them

You’ve seen the nonexistent legendary baby photos

If you like to wear baggy or big clothes he would wear your clothes and you would wear his and all of a sudden you both have one giant closet with double the clothes

Would def watch marathons of movies with you when they should be watched

Like nightmare before before Christmas, horror movies, and Charlie Brown Halloween movies around fall

Star Wars runs in May

And def the classic Christmas movies such as Harry Potter, the Santa Claus movies, and even the original and classic stop motion movies

Year without a Santa Claus is the best

I imagine on one of your rare coinciding days off you don’t go out, no matter how long it had been since you had, instead this was the superior alternative

Maybe it was even a special occasion like an anniversary or birthday or even just an accomplishment but you spend the day on the couch

The beginning of the day consisted of the classics you had to get out of the way like the Studio Ghibli movies I know everyone agrees on him loving so much or just things that recently released you had been dying to getting around to watching

After a collection of movies was watched you would break for food

Most of it consisted of not the healthiest stuff a man in his field should be consuming in such quantities

Like pop tarts in the morning, hot pockets for lunch, macaroni for dinner

Just a lot of processed things but man were you two adorable and just having a fun day so who can be mad at you

As the day slowly got darker, Hannie built a nest of blankets he nestled around him, but there wasn’t a blanket on top of him

But that’s where you come in

You lay between his legs, head on his stomach, turned to wach intently the movie that played

one of his hands holding yours while the other ran along your head

As the movie pulled to a close you turned to rest your chin on his stomach, his own dark, large, quokka eyes bore into your own

His hand falls from your head to your cheek and he held it gently

His gaze softening as much as humanly possible as his eyes closed the more he smiled at you his gorgeous smile

You felt your heartbeat quicken

No matter how many years you had known this man, through childhood or not, no matter how old you were, you were just a teenager madly in love

You were lost in your adoration for this beautiful creature and you think he could tell since he giggled before he untangled from you and stood, pulling you up by your hands

He mumbled “come on” with a smile as he pulled you to the kitchen for snacks

You knew the drill at this point in the night

Popcorn

He got the bowl ready while you had put the bag into the microwave/started heating it on the stove

Obviously he got the quicker job and by the time you sat back and waited he was already waiting and leaning against the kitchen island behind you

You turned around and barely took a step before his gentle hands grabbed ahold of your forearm and coaxed you into his arms

His arms securely wrapped around your shoulders and thus pressed your head into his shoulder and neck

Your own arms wrapping around his tiny waist

The only noise was the hum of the microwave/hiss of the popcorn on the stove as you relaxed into who you called your home

After making your way back to the couch for what would be the last movie of the night with the snacks, you once again found yourself attached at the hip to your boy

This time you were tucked into his side, head on his shoulder while you two laid

you lasted all but 40 minutes of the two hour film before your eyes fluttered

It didn’t help that his hand was on your waist and was softly brushing at the open skin and made you feel safe

He watched you as you lost the fight to your eyes and brushed strands of hair from your face

(If you’re a heavy sleeper) he gathers you into his arms and heads to the bedroom, leaving behind the snacks and blankets to be cleaned up tomorrow

(If you aren’t a heavy sleeper) he moves all items off of you (phones, popcorn bowl) and falls asleep to the sight of you in his arms

Han deserves so much love and I love love baby girl Hannie

[yermes]

PAC: 🥀 

Fuck it heres why ur ass is single

Im in a mood today

Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice Started a Podcast draft today! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰

Socials: TipJar/services | Follow me!

Pick a meme

1 2

3

The cards

Knight of disks 🛷

21° Leo to 20° Virgo, Earth of Assiah, Chokmah

You strive for a lot of material success and that at times makes you greedy and jealous. You want a relationship to LOOK a certain way but while people can change people rarely change in the way you want and you shouldn’t force people to be something they are not. You have a personal stubbornness about your idea of a relationship and it’s keeping you where you are

Defeat ⛸️

Venus 1. In Aquarius , Geburah in Air, 5 of swords

You are going through it lmao. Your world view will soon be shaped from pain and at times always taking fat Ls can have an impact on who you are as a person. You’re having many intellectual crisis and struggles against fate however you did sign the letter to your fate. Things only manifest because you did things to cause it. You’re single rn bc you are going through so much shit and your world view is changing so rapidly you deadass have no time and have no concept of what it would even look like.

The Tower 🥊

Saturn and Uranus, Mars, The Axis Netzach - Hod, fire

You’re single girlie bc you are straight up self destructing lmao. You’ve made a shocking realization about your current world view and since everything has been violently crumbling down around you. This is what happens when you wanna be so delulu that shit hits the absolute shit fuck fan. While there is good in destruction and we all have it your blind destruction is scaring the hoes. No one wants to be collateral.

Extras:

Story/vent:

I love you guys I am just eepy

[imaginespazzi]

Have to investigate more, but my delulu conspiracy theory is that Paige got the vip invite to the draft, because let's face it, she's Pagie (and she delivered!), and brought Azzi as her plus one. It looked like maybe vip was on the ticket she kept holding and the way that she was the main focus of the pictures and Azzi got brought into them made me think she was the 'primary' on the list. Like when movie stars bring their spouses and they sort of hover to the side until they're invited into the shot. Of course, it makes sense for Azzi to be there, but Aubrey and Carol were there too and hidden away in a back room so....I dunno, just felt a very conscious choice to have it be PaigeandAzzi instead of the 'team' like say the Iowa girlies all in a row.

Love when we're all on the same page cause I was thinking this too. Because even the Iowa girlies (one of whom literally got drafted) didn't get Orange carpet moments and then there's Paige and Azzi, who had unlimited time on it pretty much. I think it really could go both way, where they both got invites but I do think it's probably more like Paige with Azzi as her plus one (again trying to be sane on here these days but if I speak-) solely because I feel like the coverage was a little bit different (like solo pics wise) but either way, clearly a difference in tickets/invites or something.

Also like a difference in the Iowa girlies vs Carol/Aubrey's tickets too cause the Iowa girlies seemed to be in the same area as Paige and Azzi but literally where were Carol and Aubrey? How did I not see them once? Actually kinda disappointed about about it because them two aren't even gonna post it themselves.

[moon-thething]

Yo it's me Kevin Anon again—you can answer this if ya feel like it and what not

But I had a more light-hearted ides for a Kevin x Reader lmao

Kevin with a reader who admires him on an almost child-like level and praises him a lot despite him obviously finding them annoying and not really wanting them around, and reader usually doesn't get that he doesn't like them because they're too stuck finding him "cool" to really comprehend that. But despite how annoying they can be, Kevin begins to slowly fall for them (because he's moron-sexual /j) and when he realizes it, he goes into denial because he can't believe he might like them of all people.

- Kevin Anon

I got so happy when I saw you left a request ngl

And yes, I absolutely love this

Also, sorry this took so long! I totally forgot I had this in my drafts!

Romantic or platonic?: Romantic

Readers gender: Neutral

Type: Fluff

¡Warning!: Not proof read, also probably cringe

------------

Kevin

Let's set the scene first, aka explain how you two actually met

You met through a close friend (Streber)

It was just a normal day for you and Kevin, but you both received a text from Streber saying he wanted to introduce all his friends to each other

He told you all to meet up at some place that isn't that important to the plot rn

You, being sort of weirded out by his actions since you already knew everyone, just decided to go along with his evil scheme

It doesn't matter if you arrived first or if you arrived last, your first interaction with Kevin was pretty chill

I imagine that Kevin must have done something cool to impress you and to make you start drooling over him (hypothetically that is)

It probably wasn't that impressive, but hey, it's what got your attention 🤷‍♀️

You were just walking around town with the group + Kevin. You didn't really have a destination you wanted to go to, just walking, nothing wrong with that (you got kicked out of a cafe for being too loud)

It was so sudden. A cat had landed in front of you, causing you to stop. But, since you were going at a quick-ish pace, you lost balance. You were trying to just grab onto something, but it lead to your phone falling from your grasp

Kevin was the first one to take notice and he was quick to grab you and your phone. He tumbled back a little, the noise finally seemed to catch the groups attention and they turned around only to see you and Kevin

"What happened?!" Streber yelled before anyone else could

"I think Y/n tripped on something." Kevin sighed, pulling you up to stand instead of him holding you, "You have to be more careful." He muttered in annoyance

You were too awestruck to even catch his annoyed tone, only nodding as you let out a hum of agreement

You focused more on Kevin for the rest of the hangout. Just chatting with him and asking him questions

It was weird, to Kevin at least. But he shrugged it off, thinking you just wanted to get closer after he saved your ass from spending who knows how much money on fixing your phone

But what really got him confused was when you continued talking to him after that day

I mean- he just saved your phone! It's not like he stopped world hunger or something

But that little action he did seemed to really stick with you, thinking it was sweet of him to save you from falling (delulu)

Kevin could've swore he lost braincells whenever you were around, it only got worse when you found out where he worked at

Each interaction you had with him just seemed to make him more and more sick of you

Until one day, where one little thing made his heart flutter a little

The candy clubs doors opened with a familiar ring, signifying that a customer has walked in

"Kevin!" Kevin scrunched up his face in annoyance, letting in a deep breath before turning towards you

"What do you want, Y/n?" He asks, his gaze catching a bax in your hands. What were you planning now?

"Oh, well I remember you mentioning that you were getting annoyed with the uncomfortable textures of clothes. And Streber mentioned that your birthday is in a couple of weeks. So I decided to give you an early birthday present, since it's kind of depressing to see you wearing the same hoodie over and over again." You laughed lightly, setting the box on the counter

Kevin raised a brow before opening the box. His eyes widened slightly as he saw two sweaters in the box, including what looks like to be... A bracelet?

"I added the bracelet for extra flare." You spoke up, laughing as you read the words on the bracelet, it was a little nickname that the group collectively have Kevin, "I made it myself.. If that means anything." You laugh awkwardly

Kevin only stared at the sweater in the box in awe, picking one up to get a better look. It was a plain one colored sweater, you remember hearing Kevin complain that he couldnt find a single non-tacky sweater, and the extra hour of you seeing the printed logo was totally wort it. Also, the sweater felt like heaven underneath Kevin's hands, the more he held it the more relaxed he felt

He put down the sweater looking at you with awe, the anger he previously felt suddenly dissapearing

"Thank you, Y/n" He said, giving you a kind, genuine smile. You smiled back

"It was nothing really, it just took a while to find everything..." The next words that came out of your mouth seemed muffled to Kevin. The only thing he was focused on was the perfect curvature of you face, how your lips moved as the voice that he previously viewed as annoying sounded more angelic to him. His heart fluttering as he felt like he was going to puke with all of the thoughts running through his head

He was definitely in denile for a while before he finally accepted his feelings for you

He could not look you in the eye, all of the emotions hitting him at once when he even glanced over at you. Don't even get me started when he accidentally brushes hands with you, or god forbid you hug him

He is totally embarrassed of his newfound feeling since he ranted to Streber how annoying you were

With all of his complaining it lead to Streber keeping the two of you away. Which was a relief on his behalf, he didn't have to be so tense anymore

But the relief quickly turned into fear, fear that Streber was gonna say that you annoyed Kevin and that you would stop with your acts

My mans was stressed

He was on a late night call with Streber, not being able to sleep and knowing Streber barely ever slept as well

And on that call was when Kevin finally accepted his feelings for you and told Streber

Streber was overjoyed, already planning in his head on how you two were going to interact more and how those interactions were going to lead to your guyses first date

And, with that information, whenever he started calling group hangouts he made sure both of you would be as close to each other as possible. Leading to Kevin giving him death glares

But hey! It all turned out great in the end!

Your childish behavior only led to Kevin falling harder of you and eventually blurting out that he has a crush on you

And it was so random too! You were just gossiping with him, as Streber had led you to Kevin to tell him all of the gossip, and he just blurted out how beautiful/handsome/amazing you are

You stopped mid talking to look at him, pure shock on your face. It took Kevin a few moments to realize when he said, and he was apologizing for it

You told him it was okay and after his embarrassment has faded he confessed. He was 100% ready to shrivle away, that's until you told him you liked him too

Overal, very wholesome. Also he felt really bad about hating y97 and didn't want to tell you when you two started dating 👍

[mazzystar24]

this episode really burnt any last hope i had of buddie actually becoming canon

i just knew they were gonna force bucktommy and then have eddie just be ‘supportive best friend’ but now that it’s actually out there i’m so disappointed

just completely ignoring the past 6 years of buildup between buck and eddie

anyway ig it was fun while it lasted

I wouldn’t lose hope AT ALL

Like yeah they’re pushing buck and Tommy and Eddie and Marisol a little bit but there are SO MANY things that warrant buddie optimism:

• the fact that they gave us bi buck in the first place

• THE INTERVIEWS bro I only saw snippets so far of the newest because travelling and yada yada but in one when asked about Tommy and buck, lou flat out said we should be happy abt bucktommy and that it can be a trial run to work out the kinks if buddie were to go canon and also Ryan saying that as far as Eddie’s sexuality goes, Eddie is very catholic and grew up a certain way but is learning he can explore a little more (aka unlearning comphet🫡) and something about how there is/will be the amount of queer rep expected in a Ryan Murphy/tim minear show (a lot) - I love Ryan sm cos he FEEDS us

• they saw ratings stay HIGH (I think they rose even??) with the Tommy and buck kiss so now all the issues Tim described as being factors to consider when deciding whether to make buddie canon are now non issues- actors= on board, Network and higher ups= love queer rep, Ratings = staying high (and I think rose from the kiss but i don’t wanna misinform)

• Eddie’s whole storyline this episode is just confirming the existence of his catholic guilt, like it’s the most ridiculous stupid storyline they could’ve chose but maybe this was its purpose cos that’s the only thing that makes sense to me

• the parallels and POINTED lines this season are off the charts- as a general rule in film EVERYTHING IS INTENTIONAL think checkovs gun type thing SO MANY LINES just have to mean something

• it seems the leaked script was legit and the fact they scrapped the “brother” line is VERY telling, this means either the script was a draft and they didn’t like it and it didn’t feel right orrr that they edited the line out in post production which could be recent and could mean they waited to see the ratings for the bucktommy kiss before either confirming buddie platonic to please whatever homophobes that popped up or to roll with buddie and not confirm or deny yet

•also we knew Tommy is here briefly

Look maybe I am just delusional and enjoying it but seriously I do NOT think anyone should lose hope at all

Love ya guys and stay delulu comrades🤝🫡🫡

[pass1onepr1ncess]

TW/CW for talk of hallucinations, "Alternates", and "Mimics"

Bitches be like "delulu is the solulu!" and then look at you horrified when you tell them that you have frequent nightmares that a mimic snuck into your home and is impersonating one of your cats with the intent to kill and eat you and that it's gotten to the point that you are Convinced your cats are mimics for a good few hours. And it's 5am so in addition to all of this it's still dark and you have to turn on the lights in your room because on top of all of this you have hallucinations of "Alternates" that only get worse in the dark and it gets harder to tell the hallucinations from reality. And that you can't go back to bed because you're terrified.

It totally doesn't help that the actual nightmare was in the dark, either. So I'm just sitting in my room on my bed with the bright lights on because if I turn them off Something is going to get me. And I don't want to die.

This was in my drafts for a good month or so at this point but I'm sharing it anyway so that if anyone else who follows this blog (or even someone who doesn't) sees this and struggles with these sorts of things as well, you know you're not alone. We can struggle together.