#and go back to good ol financial anxiety

[plushchimera]

I'm almost not sick anymore, congrats to me

[magicalgirlagency]

I know this is magical girl blog, but i wanna ask, what's your opinion on pizza tower game?

You're only asking me this because of the The Noise Update that came out just recently, aren't you? Come on, be honest.

Anyways, I absolutely adore the aesthetics of that game. It's just so absolutely bonkers and it oozes lots and lots of passion. Those five years of hard work were worth it. I haven't played it yet, but once I get myself a potent and faster PC, I'll try it! So, I'll just talk about the aesthetics!

I like how Peppino is a Wario-expy, but not in personality. Sure, he is fat and ugly like that greedy garlic-munching goon, but his personality and life are totally different: He's a stressed middle-aged man, who struggles financially and constantly oscillates in anger or anxiety. Totally the opposite of Wario, who's absolutely confident in his brute strength and will take stuff without any awareness or care of the consequences that'll soon follow.

Also, did you know that "Peppino" is a legit real life name? It's a nickname of "Giuseppe" (an italian version of the name "Joseph"). And the person behind Funiculi, Funiculá (the funny pizza meme music) was named Peppino. Giuseppe "Peppino" Turco.

While the gameplay is obviously inspired by Wario Land 4, its visuals take cues from those Gross Out medias from the 90's/00's (Earthworm Jim, Cow & Chicken, Ren & Stimpy, etc.), which it really helps in the shaping of the game's identity. Not to mention how the game was projected to give major priority to speed mechanics, hence why the reason why it was firstly showcased at Sonic Amateur Games Expo.

Another interesting thing about it, is that this game almost became a Horror game! It almost became a FNaF copycat! But for some reason, Tour de Pizza felt the need to change the concept into a Wario-like midway, BUT! The Horror elements still remained with Don't Make a Sound and Fake Peppino (the game is one year old already; everyone already knows of Fake Peppino by now).

One interesting thing about FP, is back when the game has made its official debut, people made vows of not spoiling his Boss Fight, as TdP would keep him under the shadows in the development vlogging/lives. An addendum: This happened at the same time Hogwarts Legacy came out, and people were spoiling its ending on purpose! Meanwhile the froggy abomination (affectionate) was carefully kept a secret until the time was right.

...even though FP was already spoiled in WAR, but that's just me...

And the MUSIC. Oh my God, the music. It's so divine. Some of them feel severely out of place with the goofy aesthetics of the game, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The use of leitmotifs is clever and adds a lot of charm to the player character. They didn't have to go hard on the Ha Ha Funny Pizza Man Game, but they did it.

Also, the Final Boss has given me the adrenaline rush and catharsis that no modern-era Shounen has managed to do for me. No items, no power-ups, just pure, raw, and italian strength and blood-boiling rage (and the occasional tag-teaming of good ol' Gustavo).

As for The Noise Update, it's still pretty fresh, so I won't spoil anything major about it. However, I'll say that he is different than Peppino in every single way, not just in gameplay. While Peppino functions on Fight-or-Flight mode and is only concerned about getting things done and over with, The Noise does stuff for the shits 'n giggles, and WILL shamelessly gaslight you into getting the highest rank. And also with violence. Lots 'n lots of violence.

Also, The Noise's full name is "Theodore Noise" (yes the "The" in the name is not a definite article, it's short for his birth name). But I guess everyone already knows that, too. Just felt like remembering it, just in case.

[pencileraser1]

i tried to reblog this in the tags bc you both brought up good points but tumblr shuffled all my tags around and i wanted to say more so here???????????? it is i guess

desire mona tags:

#OUGH!!! was hoping youd add onto this u spearheaded the neils mom thoughts in my mind#depression is actually very commom with 50s housewives or housewives in general just due to to nature of their work paired with a lack of ac#knowledgement#so that makes sense#and it being treatment resistant would explain why it persists even after she doesnt need to perform any motherly duties while neils at scho#ol#aaaaaand passing that onto neil#but considering the way mental health was treated back then im sure it wouldnt be used as a BECOME A DOCTOR thing but it could#i was thinking more physical health like cancer or smthn similar#oncology? james?#oncology james

i'd kind of been interpreting it as depression cause then neil inheriting that would possibly be a thing. (hysteria was only discredited fully as a diagnosis in the 80's if i'm correct also, and i don't think depression on it's own was considered to be hysteria but still, i doubt mrs. perry being depressed would be taken seriously) but depression + something else Also makes a lot of sense. could go either way with this!!!

good merits accumulated tags:

#but i think there was a short discussion a while ago about how neil's dad is a little anxious financially?#and as they don't seem to be anything less than well off. it might be posited that the anxiety is class-focused#they're upper class but are they upper class enough for welton THE rich boy school. etc#in that frame neil becoming a doctor becomes another way for the family to gain some status#while also being kind of the 'best' job he's ever going to be able to do#like realistically he's never going to be able to break into those upper business echelons the way that many welton alumni#will be able to do#(because nepotism etc. etc.)#so medicine is his best shot#dead poets society#it's half 7 so if this doesn't make sense. blame it on the clock

ok so this is like. something i'm extremely interested in for some reason sorry if this is a lot.

side tangent first: i think neil being pressured to be a lawyer instead could hypothetically sort of make sense?? bc while it's probably easier with nepotism, it likely wouldn't be impossible. doctor does make a bit more sense though, although i think there's probably several other reasons Why doctor other than financial reasons and how possible it would be for neil.

neil definitely isn't welton level upper class. there's a few things, "we aren't a rich family like charlies," but also the deleted extracurriculars scene. knox gets asked about a new house his family is moving into, cameron (and charlie in the script) gets asked how his father is. knox is in the "sons of alumni" club, charlie, cameron and todd are all in the service club, neil is in neither. the service club is nothing definitive, however because welton is Welton i kind of suspect that most of the service that is done depends on the student's families being able to give money to the school. i've always sort of theorized that neil was on a partial scholarship. it would make sense for him specifically given that he is one of welton's top students, this line from the script has been stuck in my brain since i read it, "NEIL PERRY stands. Whereas some boys have two or three achievement pins an the lapels of their coats, Neil has a huge cluster of them on the pocket of his jacket." plus him being set to go to harvard, (at the point when the movie is set i don't think he could know for sure but given everything about him his chances are probably pretty good) even though the majority of welton students go to the ivy leagues, this is still pretty important to welton. welton depends on its students being successful out of school, thats how they continue to get students. so giving neil a partial scholarship, who is near guaranteed to be extremely successful as an adult (at least they assume so) would be a smart decision on their behalf cause after he graduates they can then use neil to convince more people to enroll their students.

Anderperry fans hyper-analyse ever micropixel in dead poets society by watching it 12 times a day then try to find a reason why there is no happiness in their lives.

'Comfort movie' what comfort?

[dodo-begone]

delta- well uh, i've just been losing more sleep than usual, only getting a few hours due to my anxiety. so i simply want human(oid) interaction but not irl, so my brain is to vibe with Tommy while there's fire in the background and chaos or sleeping in Cracker King's arms, trying to get more sleep for once and to stop me from running around so much because my legs are at their limit from running around but brain says to keep going. would ramble more but I forgot to eat so i'll be back-

Oh man, that seriously sucks!!! I use to have an issue very similar to that. Waking up at least once an hour. Have you tried practicing some sleep hygiene? Or melatonin? It’s an over the counter medication you can get. Also helps a bit with anxiety by calming you down. Thought that ties in with the sleep stuff. Melatonin works pretty well, for me at least, and it’s something your body usually releases a little before sleep. Like a few hours. Taking it a few hours before you want to sleep, like 2, might help. But that’s been my experience with it.

I get you, I get you. Crave human interaction but it’s just too much? Imagine it instead! Little can go wrong with some good ole imagination!

Those sounds like great self care/stress relieves tbh. Like arson with Tommy? Only illegal if it causes issues, mostly financially. Fire and destruction relieves stress so pog. Man imagine the ruckus/cheering/yelling you two might do??? And then the peaceful quiet at the end. And our king with them cuddles man- Cracker King will literally take care of you himself. Nah! You stop right there he needs to care for you!

Anyways I hope the food helped a bit!! I saw that you ate!! Lemmie go answer that really quick!

[sourbat]

“You’re not broken” from your choice to Pickles? :)

It’s late in the evening, and though there’s hardly a cloud in the sky, Mordhaus’ massive frame casts an imposing shadow that stretches across the empty fields. Winds blow the bitter, earthy aftertaste of strong weed. Nathan, resting on his balcony, catches a whiff and is soon drawn to the stream, a brook less than half a mile’s walk from the castle. He leaves the fortress as the sun continues to ease into the silent woods, turning the hazy orange sky into a dark, muddled purple.

The temperature drops quickly, though Nathan remains unaffected until he hears water wafting, and tastes the fresh crisp air mixing with the deepening stench of cannabis. When he catches wind of a certain voice, a smile emerges. He picks up pace, only coming to a slow once he notices the anxiety ridden in the voice, and halts when he spots Pickles on his phone, pacing from rock to the next.

“Well, yeah. Ya’ got a point, but–”

Nathan gets a glimpse of Pickles’ complexion. There’s a noticeable lack of color in his face, and despite the cold, the man looks like he’s been running laps. Nathan hurriedly counts the lines across Pickles’ brow, the speed and uneven step in his already quickened gait, and assumes it’s family. Weed gives Pickles the slight jitters, but the dark circles under the eyes can only be a product of a crazed narcissist looking to gain something from him.

Right then, Pickles’ stops. Whoever he’s talking to is unloading some serious guilt onto him. There’s a pile of stones being thrown on him, weighing Pickles down and forcing him to sink further into the earth, back bending and shoulder sinking as Pickles takes it all without saying a damn word.  The man’s receiving an invisible pummel, a repeated kick to the gut. Nathan sees the defeated expression and knows it’s Seth on the line.

Pickles sighs into the phone. “Right. Alright, then. Ok. I’ll do it.”

Pickles drops the call and shoves the dethphone as deep as he can into his pants without the sharp ends tearing into the fabric. He brings his hands behind his head and groans aloud, covering the gentle rolls of water. A few swears lets Nathan know it’s money related, as usual. Pickles going silent and reaching for the pipe he placed on a nearby stone warns Nathan that Pickles is definitely going to pay out and give Seth what he wants. Pickles shaking, blinking wide-eyed as he tries working his lighter tears Nathan from the shadows, and into the small clearing.

Nathan appears under the rising moon, right as Pickles takes a huff. “Hey, Pickles.”

A cough. Pickles pats his chest and brings his pipe down. “Shit, Nathan. Ya’ nearly gave me a heart attack.” 

“Sorry.”

Pickles shakes his head, raises his pipe to Nathan as he wipes a few tears from the corner of his eye. “Wanna have a go?”

Spurts of smoke spread over Nathan. The harsh taste of the air lets him know it’s some good stuff.  He glances around him, at the stream, the stars slowly coming into view, and the occasional glow of unknown wildlife hidden in the woods. It’s honestly not a bad place to get high, but after a shit call, Nathan isn’t sure it’s the right setting to do alone.

He takes the pipe, earning a nod from Pickles, who coughs and hacks up something wet. Nathan glances at the pointed ends of the phone sticking out from Pickles’ pocket. “You were on the phone with your brother?”

Pickles immediately frowns. “Ya’ heard that?”

“Yeah.”

Pickles carefully settles on a large rock near the water. His elbows fall on top of his legs. “What did ya’ hear?”

Nathan lights himself a smoke and inhales. “’Nuff to know you’re going to give him money,” he mutters into the darkening sky.

Pickles watches a jet of smoke spew and vanish into the night. His eyes twitch a nervous gleam, and he extends his arm outwards, ready to take the pipe. Nathan takes a step and hands it to Pickles, saying nothing as he searches around the damp soil for solid bearing, or a dry enough seat. The closest is a collection of rocks set a few feet away, but it makes sharing the pipe a bitch. Nathan decides to stand by, figuring he can handle whatever percentage of THC Pickles is dishing his way.

“Jus’ so ya’ know,” Pickles says after blowing a ringlet of smoke, “I ain’t gonna give him shit.”

“Uh-huh,” Nathan mutters as he watches the stars begin to glisten with various shades of intense white.

“He thinks he can jus’ call me and hit me up fer cash.”

Pickles takes another hit, breathing deep and not turning off the flame until there’s smoke filling the scene. Nathan’s standing, but tastes it. Bitterness wafts in the air, consuming his senses. The serene lap of water drowns in a nasty heat that Pickles spits out in another cough. Nathan feels his spine begin to tingle as Pickles starts to shake.

He rolls fingers through his thick dreads. “Thinks he can pull some ol’ cards on me. Family. Whatever, dood.” Pickles slumps forward, arm raised up to Nathan and offering him the still burning bowl. “He’s got nothin’ on me. Don’t give a crap ‘bout whatever debts he owes. People he pissed off.”

Nathan takes the pipe. His eyes shift between Pickles’ sinking form, and the developing blur that surrounds him, making him appear more a pale specter than man.  Nathan brings the pipe to his lips. “Surprised he had your number.”

Pickles shifts in his seat. Nathan hopes it’s the cold, or the poor substitute of a seat Pickles decided to rest upon. But there’s that deepening shadow around the eyes that irks Nathan, and from within Pickles’ shaky irises, Nathan’s positive he can detect that subtle hint of self-loathing and disgust.

“You ask him how he got it, right?” Nathan says midway through his hit. It’s a loaded question, and Nathan knows it. The damn remark implies Seth was smart enough to work the system and get his grubby hands on it, which, if past interactions with the jackass proved anything, wasn’t the case. Nathan flares his nostrils, letting the remainder of the smoke spill out.

“Well...”

“Yeah?”

Pickles tilt’s his head away from Nathan, right as he offers the pipe back to him.

“Nah.” Pickles slumps further. His lips push out into a defeated pout. “I, uhhh, ended up givin’ it to him durin’ the trip to Australia.”

Unmoving, Nathan asks, “Why?”

Pickles rests his arms on top of one another. He shrugs into the cold, and it goes silent for a while. For a few seconds, Nathan gets lost in the darkening scenery, the purple skies and whimper of frightened animals. Nathan sways silent, surrendering to the occasional frosty, breeze with a mild shudder.

Then, he hears Pickles sniff. “Well, you know…” he says, and although Nathan continues to stare upwards, can see Pickles wrapping himself up in a faux smile and using it as a blanket to convince himself it’s as good an excuse as any. “In case…”

“In case he needed money,” Nathan finishes for Pickles.

The silence returns, and again, there’s the gentle flow of water. The winds tear through the thick forests, sending out a low wail that, once it hits, causes both men the shiver in the dark. Nathan exhales the last bitter taste from his lips, then bends and drops the cold pipe besides Pickles. A minute passes, and when Nathan catches an angered growl next to him, drops his eyes and sees Pickles staring at the blackening roll of the brook, at his miserable reflection. 

“Fuck,” Pickles cries, shaking his head. He hits the stone underneath him. “What is wrong with me, dood?”

Nathan raises a brow as Pickles’ palms shift into fists, and repeatedly smash against the stone. When the pain’s too much to bear, he gets up, paces around some more, then swings his fists outwards with another sharp cry.

“They treat me like I’m dirt, but I keep handin’ them my number, answerin’ their calls and offerin’ them financial support?” Pickles kicks up dirt and rocks, sending bits flying and hitting the cold water with piercing cold splashes. Nathan steps back. Pickles kicks up more wet soil and stomps a foot into the mushy hole he’s made. “After everything they did to me! I can’t believe i'm still doin’ this crap!”

The scene goes on for a minute longer, with Pickles enacting a series of random kicks and flails, destroying leeks and bulrushes, and disrupting the life around the brook with flying pebbles, clumps of grass and screams. Nathan thinks to stop Pickles, in case a wandering gear decides to call Offdensen, and he thinks about joining Pickles and handing him larger stones to throw at some unlucky freshwater eels. He plays with the lighter and waits for Pickles’ personal flame to go wild and die out on its own, and for Pickles to return to him and the icy stone seat.

The weed really starts to sink in, and whatever will there was to fight is gone, replaced with heavy tranquility that leaves Pickles silent again.

The sky turns a dark blue, almost black and matching the water below. Stars twinkle and burst like lightning, keeping Nathan occupied long enough for Pickles to drown in the high, to stop stuttering and hitting the rock underneath, and eventually stand and join Nathan in the stargazing.  

“Sometimes I wonder if it’s me, y’know?” Pickles mutters solemnly. “Maybe it’s me that’s got it wrong?” 

The words cut through the silence. Nathan feels the tip of the blade lick his chest, threatening him with a fraction of the discomfort he knows Pickles is enduring.

Pickles covers the top half of his face. His open mouth exhales a cloud of hot air. “Times like these, I wonder. Like, maybe they’re all the normal ones, and I’m the one that’s fucked up. I’m the broken one.”

The words make Nathan visibly cringe. He shakes his head, offended. “Pickles,” he says, turning slightly and covering the man’s lanky shoulder with his hand. “You’re not broken.”

Pickles eyes glisten as he glances upward, offering Nathan only a slight nod.

In any other situation, Nathan would have figured that now is the time to be honest and remind Pickles of his views regarding the family. Pickles aside, everyone hosting that cursed surname was a grade-A narcissist. Everyone knows it, and yet it proves a sore subject to broach with Pickles.

The thought arises. It’s there and Nathan can feel the satisfying insults lining his lungs, ready to be expelled. He thinks to say it, but sees Pickles’ bared teeth, his exasperated frown, and he hears those words cut into him.

Broken.

An old, familiar sting returns, clearing through the drug’s influence, and settles on Nathan. He sees Pickles standing there, uncomfortable, hating himself, and the weed carries old sounds of laughter, fingers pointing and whispers aimed at Nathan.

“Pickles, you’re not broken,” he repeats, softer and forlorn.

Pickles glanced up at him again. This time, the stare lingers, catching traces of a different, though not completely dissimilar ache.

Nathan brings his arms up. “It’s easy to feel broken…” he pauses, eyes shutting as old memories arise. Ancient dreams that fill with the smoky haze of his high, but the pain is still there. The judgemental stares from adults that weren’t his parents. The classmates that refused to accept his silence. The doctors that snubbed any small improvement with his speech development, and instead focused on his shortcomings. “It’s… so easy to feel broken when everyone around you just… focuses on your faults. When they-” 

Nathan halts, watching the words slip from his grasp, float into the sky and be replaced with overwhelming anger and frustration. Something clogs his throat. Heat and pressure build as Nathan continues to stare up at the fading words, at those who demanded him to speak up, to say something, and then drops his stare to Pickles patiently nodding his head at him, getting it without ever finishing the sentence.

A lanky hand smacks the back of his shoulder. When Nathan settles, and can bring his arms down, Pickles is there, smiling crookedly through a half-chewed lip.

“Ya’ mind lettin’ me know my fault?” Pickles asks once Nathan finds himself back under the soothing flow of running water and crickets chirping. The weed recollects as he listens in on Pickles joking with him, telling him it must be his good looks or svelte figure. Nathan realizes things have shifted, and now it's Pickles trying to calm him down. Pickles putting his needs aside and trying to figure out what blew up in his mind, what sent his mind reeling.

“Your fault if you're good,” Nathan says quickly, and booms it over Pickles’ japes and snickers. “You’re too damn good for your family. You’re…the only good thing about your family, and they know it. S’not really a fault, but it makes you different. Makes you a–”

Pickles pulls Nathan close into a shaky, nervous half-hug. The gesture stops Nathan from finishing, and halts the blade from cutting any deeper.

He parts, eyes dropping for a moment, but rising once the cool air settles between them. “Thanks,” Pickles says, voice shaken, but appreciative.

Nathan gives a short nod. “I mean it.” 

“I know,” Pickles says, swaying under the guidance of a frosty breeze. He waits while Nathan looks up one final time, absorbing the abundant array of the night sky, and using the thousands of stars to smother the faint memories filled with excuses and fragmentation.

It goes silent again, and this time Nathan shuts his eyes. He listens to the sounds of wildlife and Pickles picking up his pipe to take a more controlled hit.

The two get lost and float in the gentility of nature and darkness. 

“Nathan?” Pickles asks after a while. 

“Yeah?”

Warmth returns. A hand rubs his lower back. “You okay, dood?”

“Just thinking… ‘bout stuff.” Nathan opens his eyes and faces Pickles, expression hardly indicating beyond the usual gruffness, though Nathan is sure Pickles is squinting because, like him, he can see the distant glimmer of a knife being pulled into the darkness, in the shadows of his irises. Nathan wrinkles his nose. “Y’know?”

Pickles grins, satisfied with what he sees “Yeah.”  

They stare a bit longer at the rolling water, and Nathan makes a few comments about some strange insect life Toki snuck into Mordhaus a few days prior. Pickles mentions seeing a weird beetle in the kitchen.

His dethphone rings.

“Ah, shit.”

Nathan waits until Pickles has it out before offering his hand to Pickles. “Lemme see that,” he half-demands. Curious, Pickles tilts the phone in his direction. Nathan snatches it and, without warning, positions himself and tosses the cellphone outwards, straight into the water.

The phone hits the surface with a loud plop, then sinks.

Pickles’ jaw sinks. He grabs at his dreads. “Dood!”

Nathan calms him down with a stare. It takes a second for Pickles to settle, but he does, and waits for Nathan to explain himself.

“Let’s agree to trash our phones every few months,” he states aloud, over Pickles’ hitched breathing and panicked expression. “For safety purposes.”

No talks about why in particular, or the fact that Seth is the living embodiment of everything wrong with society, but like the message before, it hits and translates perfectly with Pickles. He stares out to the water, at the rippling rings spreading and vanishing into the gentle current. His frown disappears, sinking to a silent, but approving daze.

“Sure thing, dood,” Pickles says, heading lowering as he stifles a chuckle, but even while under the influence, Nathan can see, read the red filling Pickles’ eyes as something more than just the effect of a good high.

[thedappleddragon]

hooooo my fucking god I don't know why but recently my anxiety/sence of dread has SKYROCKETED in the last 3 days, I haven't been sleeping great and last night I had an anxiety dream about manning the register at work. idk I guess today was fine but im so fucking overstimulated I guess?? I seriously just dont fuking know. but anyway here’s a summary of some days that I may or may not remember. putting it under the cut

Wednesday I was exited to work, they didn’t need me, I hung out with my friends at their outdoor band concert and had boba and it got super cold out

Thursday I went with my dad to drop off a car, then we had breakfast together at a little restaurant I had never been to before. He told me about his childhood n stuff. Then I went to work and priced things outside and felt good about helping some people buy plants even tho I didn’t know exactly what I was doing and ended up handing them off to Becky anyway. Got off work, came home, hung out waiting to be able to go visit my friend but she took a while so dad and I made the snack he had a lot as a kid which was just handmade chocolate frosting on graham crackers. Eventually my friend got home so I grabbed one of those graham crackers in some Tupperware and some other stuff and headed out. It was a longer drive than I was expecting but eh whatever, I got there no problem with a bunch of dad’s shit in the back of the car. We had awkward hellos in her apartment and I pet her fat ass cat until she suggested we go thrifting and oh my god I had never wanted to go thrifting more in my life than right then. I had one of those moments where I realized oh I’m an adult who can go out and just DO things :D so we walked around and gossiped in goodwil and had a great time until they closed, whereupon steph frantically looked for anything that was open near us while I drove around. We settled on going to a little park nearby, where we climbed on the tube with holes on it and swung on the swings. Then we walked around a dense tree/brush like and into the middle of a field, having our main character moments as we walked to the top of a hill with a cross on it. I took a picture of the sunset and a selfie with both of us before we walked back through the field and drove back to her apartment. I gave her 2 tiny flower jars and she let me borrow her container of earring hardware and a bunch of different tiny things to make into earrings. I had a great time and I’d love to hang out again, maybe when everything isn’t closed lmao. We joked a lot about understanding why people do drugs lmao since there’s nothing else to do! everything’s closed!! Also some joke flirting mixed in for flavor. We have an excuse to hang out again so I can return her earring supplies and she can return my Tupperware lol. I thought my phone was going to die on the way home before I realized there was a charging cord in the car! Nice. Got home, watched my friend stream plasmaphobia for a bit while I finished a birthday gift, and hung out and slept when she quit streaming. 

Friend’s birthday party day!! Also dad moving day!! The first task of the day was to drive with my dad down to the nearest uhaul to pick up a big ol’ truck, and follow him home in the car while he lead the way in the truck. Then we brought his car full of shit to the apartment, got his key and paid his first month, and looked through everything to do inspection. Tbh it’s a pretty nice apartment, I’d love to spend some time there once it’s a bit more furnished. My favorite part is a Harry Potter style hidey hole closet that’s meant for storage, but it’s the perfect size for a secluded hangout spot for me. I’ll totally let him use it for storage if he wants, I just like sitting in there. I joked that I would let Emily hang out in the spare bedroom and I could get the tiny room. But we spent time cleaning and looking around and bringing in boxes before dad sent me to pick up lunch, my sister, and another car load of boxes. I left to do all 3 and came back with Mcallisters, and we all sat on the floor and ate together. A very nice way to break in a new apartment. We brought in boxes and dad sent us on a quest to pick up a car part and drop it off where the car we dropped off the day before. We got there just fine, but getting to the second location was a nightmare because of all my wrong turns and u turns and no left turns, it was awful. I mean we got there eventually but still. By then it was time for me to get home so I could wash my hair and get ready for the party!! I got everything ready, but my sister wouldn’t be home with the car on time, so I just took my mom’s van. I was on time for once!! But in exchange I didn’t realize I had forgotten Cassidy’s gift until I was like 3 minutes away. But also I found driving my moms van very easy compared to last time I tried to drive it, and I think I’m a much more confident driver now :) but I was one of the first to arrive, accidentally twinned with cass, waited for everyone to show up, met her new dog, and then we all packed up the picnic basket and walked to the top of a hill to have our little sandwiches and play cards against humanity. On the walk there we passed by a park where little kids were asking why we were all dressed up if it wasn’t Halloween, so I shouted at them that it was her birthday and handed them the branch I was carrying. We played CAH on the hill and ate little sandwiches and meatballs and drank sparkling juice and had a lovely time, and when we were done, we walked back to her house where there was pizza and we all changed out of our formal wear. My bra was sewed into my dress with 6 stitches, so I grabbed some scissors and flashed my friend’s cat as I cut my bra free of the dress because I forgot to bring an extra. I changed into my ghostbusters shirt and snake onesie and joined everyone outside for pizza and lots and lots of stories and ice cream cake and gossip and quiplash and balloons and gifts and CAH and friends leaving and new friends arriving and more quiplash and then the grass getting cold and wet and going ham on keeping the balloons up and then playing that’s what she said (basically CAH but ✨for women ✨) and by this time there was a dude I didn’t know but he was very nice and cute and already taken. Tbh I didn’t know half the people there, there was a group of 4 cool alt people I had never met and then the 4 band kids I already knew but everyone else seemed to know each other and they all had great energy so I yelled a lot and joked a ton and had an amazing time. As the crowd dwindled and the night got cooler, I helped put things away before I left so I could be a nice guest, said my goodbyes, gathered my things, and drove home past midnight. Ask walked around the house turning off lights like my mom asked, I realized that my dad wouldn’t be sleeping here anymore, and I felt bad that he had to spend the night all alone in his new apartment :( and this is going to be a huge financial burden that idk if he can afford, rent for the apartment is almost as much as my mom pays for the house. Jejdjgjt this is all a mess and I would like to go back to ignoring it all <3 Listened to a lot of two trucks by lemon demon lmao

Hoo boy howdy I did a lot of shit today. Basically as soon as I woke up I got a text from dad about us helping him move with a promise of donut holes and a fruit platter. I walked out to the garage to find our family friends the drakes helping to move boxes, so we all spent several hours loading boxes into our cars and driving back and forth from the house to the apartment, with emily and I avoiding the drakes as much as possible lmao. When we had moved as much as we could in the car, we started loading up the uhaul, shoving as much shit in there as possible so we only had to do one trip there and back. Partially through unloading the truck the drakes stopped cleaning things before we brought them in left and some randos from dad’s work came to help unload and somewhere in the middle of all this our aunt and uncle and her service dog came to visit?? Bruh idk so much stuff happened. Emily asked me to take her home so she could work on school stuff and we put things back into the garage and I went back to the apartment to help with stuff and hang out with my aunt while my dad and uncle returned the truck. We made a list of stuff I might need for college and I wrote it down on a notepad and most of the page space was taken up by ponies tbh. The men brought back burger king and eventually my aunt and uncle left. I helped my dad clean up and set up his wifi and we watched mama Mia. It was my first time seeing the film, and it was really dang fun. Then I made dad drive me ho e since emily was still gone with the silver car. I’ll spend he night over there eventually, but not yet. I’m exited to eventually invite friends over since I’ve never been able to do that before. So now I’m home trying g to go to sleep so I can work tomorrow. I keep thinking about smoking weed and making out with someone in the hidey hole in dad’s apartment............ even tho I have literally no one to do that with afsagssg I’m a CHILD. 

Had dreams last night about being stuck on the infinity train again, except there was a mechanic of switching the world between 2d and 3d and the cast of Bluey had to help bingo go through stages of grief / character moments to help her get off the train or something. I was tossing and turning for a few hours anxiously waking up thinking I was gonna be late and going back to bed so I could sleep/dream more. But then I finally got up, fed my cat, fed myself, helped clean the kitchen a little bit, got ready for work, arrived 15 minutes late on accident, worked register for 6 hours, got more comfortable with register and learned how to do stuff, lots of friendly people, lots of me struggling and my bones hurting, dad brought me food but I couldn’t get to my lunch break until everything was room temperature. The chicken sandwich reheated well but the fries did not. After work dad and I stopped by the house, I got an info card to fill out so I can be called in for jury duty eventually, dad handed me $50 for dinner for us and my sister, we laid on the floor and looked at the noodles and company menu, drove there, picked up our food, had a lovely dinner at dad’s apartment, laid around while he talked to Greg on the phone, went to target to pick up small apartment things like a clock and a trash can and some small groceries but it made me nervous because I hate spending money and watching my dad spend money he may or may not have, and by then we were tired as shit and after dropping his stuff off emily and I drove home and I tried teaching her how to crochet for a school project. Now I’m hanging out wanting to go to bed and thinking about how everybody else my age working at ACE is doing like 60 hours a week with 2 jobs and saving for college and I’m just sitting here with probably 14 hours a week and fuck. I don’t want to spiral into shit, I just want to keep busy as much as possible. Maybe I’ll ask for as many work hours as possible, maybe I’ll ask my friends to hang out, idk. Right now I jut want to be busy so I don’t have to think about anything. I’ll spend as much time as possible helping my dad set up his apartment, I don’t care.

WAAAAA TODAY AT WORK WAS SO STRESSFUL, I LEFT FELLNG SO FRAZZLED IT SUCKED. basically I worked register for 4 hours but they’re all trying to ween me off asking for help to get me more comfortable, and we were surprisingly busy, and my garden boss becky asked me to do 2 extra things and my boss boss kept asking about paperwork that I couldn't fill out because I needed my sister to text me something, and an old man got mad at me over the phone because no-one was out there to fill his propane tank and I had a lady waiting for 10 minutes for someone to help load salt into her car and a middle aged man tried to use sarcasm at me while I was in friendly cashier mode aND IM SORRY I HAVE ADHD I DONT GET IT PLEASE S T O P and I tried answering the phone more and I didnt get the things done that becky asked and I left shit there because I just wanteD OUT. afterwards I went to target to get something, idk im writing this afterwards so I not really remember 

and today, my day off. ugh god I dont remember what I did, I know I picked up a vent for my mom’s bathroom and I just went to go get Taco Bell with my sister and bought her some more about crocheting and she’s making progress :) tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and last year I made her a felt doll of her fursona, so today I started making a crochet doll for her. so far I have the body and libs, but I still need to make the muzzle, tail, ears, attach everything, and hand-sew on all the markings and glue on button eyes. or maybe felt eyes, idk. my stomach hurts and I got upset because I told my mom my cat may be sick because her pee looked suspicious so I crocheted and watched my little pony and now I have a headache and im just trying to listen to music but really I just want to watch 50 arms videos at once but it wasn't loading right and idk man I dont know what’s happening, I may be going into work tomorrow. I think now that I have a job to do 3-4 times a week, I dont feel like I can just chill and wing it anymore, it’s like I have plans forever now. and oh god I still have to sig up for college orientation night or whatever, but my mind hasn'tt been on college for like a month or longer. I think im just going to take some Advil and try to relax with my cat and my music. holy shit dude. I know none’s gonna read this but just. fuck. also I should really post these more frequently rather than let them pile up in my texts. thinking about going back and adding all the dates like I did with my early quarantine diary, but that feels like a lot of work

[whatacartouchebag]

“Say Cart, where the hell’ve you been and what’s up with the sudden brakes on Reason updating?”

Fabulous question! Short answer: life. Longer answer: I’m going a hell of a lot of life all at once in about seven different directions, and I’m still writing, but slower.

If you don’t mind a bit of a teal deer, then feel free to jump under the cut and enjoy the rollercoaster that is my life at the moment.

So hoo boy, let’s start with the absolute doozy. My parents are divorcing, hooray! Dad finally drew the line in the sand when it came to my mother’s - frankly - rather toxic behaviour, and not one to half-ass things, has decided to sell their house at the end of August. He’s moving further north to be closer to my sister and the grandkids, whereas mum will stay here. He’s even going so far as to do the super amicable thing and set her up with as much furniture, financial support and whatnot as possible, and surface level, it looks great!

He’s kind of enjoying looking forward to the future where he doesn’t get to be constantly berated for things, or snapped at over the tiniest issue, and is pretty much optimistic about where he’s going from here.

Except for the part where it’s been absolutely blown out of proportion by my mother.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I adore her, and will continue to support and love her as my mother for the rest of my days, and I certainly feel for her in this awful time, but she is... a really frustrating person to live with. There’s a reason I moved out as soon as I could, and it has allowed me to really appreciate what calm and anxiety-free living is really like. She... has never been very good at processing any sort of emotional shocks as anything less than a complete personal attack, and combined with her rather blunt nature to begin with, well, basically this last month has been drastically stressful for everyone in the family.

She’s taken to just setting her filter to a constant off status, and whilst she’s taken a few disarming shots at everyone over things, I’ve tried... really hard not to let it affect me for the sake of moving forward. Unfortunately, she’s not really aware of what she’s saying sometimes, and it’s ended up in a couple of things that really have hurt me, which has just given the ol’ mental health status a pretty hefty punch.

I’ve been trying to help find a place for her to settle, and that’s been a mission of its own. My uncle has been at us both to keep in contact and try and take dad for everything he has, which has not helped in the slightest. And coupled with the fact that looking for anything at the moment is somewhat impossible thanks to covid and school holidays.

Which kind of slides into the next point. School holidays have made things ridiculously busy at work, and for the most part, I am utterly exhausted when I come home at the end of a day. This is on top of the usual level of busy where our work place is one of the busier offices in the entire state, and coupled with the covid reaction from people panic buying, it’s made things a little hectic to say the least.

I’ve also been given more responsibilities in my role at work, so I’m now in charge of a larger group of people than before, and my brain is kind of goo after a particularly big-ish day of numbers and planning and straight up surviving the day.

My physical health has kind of taken a slight dip here and there, and first up: it’s nothing drastic! For years and years (literally half my life lmao), I’ve had issues with damaged tendons in my knees, and where it used to be once every month or so I’d have issues flare up, it’s getting down to once every day or second day. So, it’s going to be a round of visiting doctors and specialists and setting up appointments and - eventually - surgery to fix the damage.

Which means about six or so weeks off my feet sometime within this year, most likely. I can’t wait holy shit you guys. /sarcasm

Needless to say, my writing has kind of just... plinked along in the background. I’m certainly still working on Reason, and I have a finalised list of everything left to achieve with our lads before things wrap up. To give a bit of a ballpark, there’s potentially going to be maybe another six or seven chapters out before it’s completed.

And that honestly feels really... big and heavy to say lmao.

Reason has been my biggest public outing to date, and it’s been a hell of a journey, so there’s no way I’m going to stop it. I intend on seeing this thing through to the end, as I promised way back after That Episode. Just please know that due to life being a combo hit of things, it’s going to be a little slower than usual for these final chapters, because whilst I know the first draft of my writing is suffering due to things, I still want the finished product to be good. Which means me rereading something I wrote whilst half-dead tired or kind of cottony. Which means repeated editing and revising time. Which means I need to learn to set the bar lower lmao.

Legitimately though, the one things that has kept me going through all of this round of stress and whatnot, and utterly wanting to finish this story? Is you guys. It sounds kind of corny, sure, but the support for this story, the support I’ve found in the Fair Game community, the friends I’ve made through this whole thing, it’s honestly meant the world to me. It’s kept me happy and laughing and smiling and honestly giving me something to focus on, rather than fall under the stress entirely, and it has utterly helped.

So, if you’ve made it this far through this thing, first of all congrats lmao. Secondly, thankyou.

I might be a bit spotty here and there for the next few months or so, but your support - whether it be chatting, comments, likes, kudos, whatever - honestly means so much to me and it really does wonders for keeping me sane ♥

[maki-ryota]

So idk if you guys remember, but I promised to sub Love or Dead back when it was in theaters, with the help of a "friend" (they'd translate the script and I'd make the subs.) They wanted to do this.

Well, that didn't end up happening, and they openly are ignoring the message for a week or more that asked if they were still gonna do it (it was kindly worded and also said it was completely okay if they had changed their mind). They're online daily so it's pretty obvious they are either blocking or ignoring me.

Which is just ridiculous because from almost the start this person has been extremely rude to me while being oblivious about it. We met twice irl. The first time was good, but the second time...I was put down the whole day, called me messy, told me "no offense, but have you even considered college" when I shared my woes about not having a job and being in financial crisis, they talked all day about how amazing their life and jobs in Japan are, shushed me during the movie when I asked one simple question, tried to make me feel bad for the fact that I don't really laugh out loud/emote while watching movies in public (I cried tho so idk what else they wanted from me)...I pushed all that aside and let it go....until that weekend. they had invited me to a OL doujin convention...but then the day before they cancelled on me, saying I had been rude the entire day we had hung out and that "my friend probably wouldn't like you". Now, they KNEW my social anxiety was bad and there's no way I was gonna go to a big con like that on my own. I felt like I was being punished. I did end up telling her "I'm sorry if I was rude but I felt like you were doing the same to me. I let you into my home and you berated it and berated me for not going to college etc."

The literal only thing I can think of that she could've taken as rude was when I asked, completely innocently, why she paid in 500 yen coins exclusively. I just had never seen that but she got super defensive cause it was money she had saved up to attend a tour of her fav band who ended up breaking up. That's upsetting of course, but I wasn't looking down on her, and how tf was I supposed to know? That's me being rude but the shit she did was okay? Huh. But seriously, tell me if I was in the wrong here.

I've been holding this inside for months and wanted to get it out. This shit is why I'm hesitant to meet fans of stuff I like irl... especially if I have talked to you a lot.

[fortheheavenssake]

PG MM Anon Interpretation Collection- 14

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

91: Oct. 19

MM ANON …… “ O no , not another f%#ing beautiful Sunday “…… All together, a ROYAL reunion 🦄🦎👸🤴… “ she’s not invited, again🧣“……” O Philip, do lets watch this documentary 🤣🤣“ …… “Really, old thing, really ?”…… “ bloody hell , Charlottes a better actress “……… “ Mummy!! I’ve lost my 🦎” ……” What next LG , the Caribbean and North America with the children?”…… “ Mmmm , Marm that would work ,next year’ someone will be jealous!!” …… “ “what’s that ol’ thing , I’m reading skippy Philip”

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON, I DO HOPE YOU’RE WELL🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

October 19/2019 1245 hrs CST

“ O no , not another f%#ing beautiful Sunday “…

Sunday is historically day to attend worship and spend time with family. It’s also, in more urban areas the day when the biggest newspapers come out. Another beautiful but blanked up day because this curse still hangs in the air, no justice yet but it’s coming! Justice is coming! Sunday’s will soon be as they once were, different, through life experiences but they will family days again!

All together, a ROYAL reunion 🦄🦎👸🤴…

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge just returned back to London last night after a five day tour of Pakistan 🇵🇰. The Royal tour was successful far and above expectations. They had promised the children a family weekend. I am certain there were lots of tears along the way despite FaceTime and talking, lots of hugs upon return home. Princess Charlotte has developed a passion for unicorns. Over the summer, as boys do, will all of the garden time that the Duchess did with her family he must have seen salamanders and lizards or just fell for them via books perhaps. So the whole family happily back together along with boss baby , Prince Louis. He acquired that title from his facial expression, priceless ones, during the flyover on Buckingham Palace balcony.

“ she’s not invited, again🧣“…

The Christmas church service last year, upon exiting, madam tried to engage Prince William in conversation, he was wise to her moves and made himself very busy fiddling with his scarf. She then tried Prince Charles who in turn ignored her. The term scarfing has truly taken on a life of its own online🤣🤣🤣😂😂. I think this is clearly Prince William putting his foot down clearly expressing his opinion.The line she’s not invited, also has a bit of a cite reference, the day of Prince Louis’ christening, as they left the chapel to walk back into the entrance, Princess Charlotte said to the amassed media, “you’re not coming”, was tremendously funny and sweet. Her personality was already showing!

” O Philip, do lets watch this documentary 🤣🤣““Really, old thing, really ?”…… “ bloody hell , Charlottes a better actress “…

HMTQ and PP, likely over the evening cocktail chatting, she jokingly states the above, his replies are the latter two quotes. I am glad they are able to talk and find some humour in this situation! Oh how l would love to be a fly on the wall, meaning love to hear some of their discussions!

“ Mummy!! I’ve lost my 🦎” …

Well trauma, upset, tears of sadness and shrieks of OH NO!! Prince George has lost his lizard, l hope not inside or shrieks of horror, outside, just a very sad little boy. I am certain a replacement lizard could be sourced post haste!

” What next LG , the Caribbean and North America with the children?”

Prince William and HMTQ, and Duchess Catherine likely reviewed/debriefed the events of the tour with LG in attendance. I can hear ideas thrown about on how to continue this success to build on the success of the monarchy. I think half jokingly William said, what next, do you propose such a trip with all three children? I know rumours out there of madam being pregnant but not confirmed, besides another a Royal tour doesn’t happen with her, because SHE IS NOT ROYAL!!! I know the Cambridges took their own private medic along to Pakistan 🇵🇰. I have a feeling she may already be or will shorten announced that she is expecting another child.

“ Mmmm , Marm that would work ,next year’ someone will be jealous!!” …This is definitely LG responding to the notion of an entire a Cambridge family Royal tour! Can you just imagine the coverage? There would have never been anything like it before, and madam would be climbing the walls of her cell or padded room when she learned of that. She will be forever jealous and hateful.

“ “what’s that ol’ thing , I’m reading skippy Philip”

HMTQ reading when PP says something to her, she replies with the above quote! See 💜🐼💜, l have told youn🐼, THEY DO READ YOUR BLOG,!! This is an absolute confirmation of a suspicion l have had and have talked about! So feel free to express yourself!! WE LOVE AND BELIEVE IN HARRY, WE WANT HIM BACK!!!💜💜💜💜GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

October 19/2019 1315 hrs CST

Thank you dear PG….what a fun happy riddle today. I love the tidbits about the children…..I want you know we greatly appreciate the time and effort you put into deciphering these riddles for us. Well…I hope if HM does read here….she will let us know she is ok…😉.💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

—————-

92: oct 20

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻This riddle was extremely difficult 🙏🏻🙏🏻💜🤣

MM Anon

MM ANON … A disruption in the FORCE… … give a lot , take a little …… sighted for perpetuity …… 🎼matter of fact, it’s all dark 🎼……… multiple numbers …… his backhander slush fund …… silent outrage in Carshalton …… “ But O, how bitter a thing”………” bending of the heart flings” ……… a comfortable exorcism …… “ sunshine is the best…” …… “ sunshine is the best…”

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU DEAR MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

October 20/2019 1405 hrs CST

A disruption in the FORCE

In all the a Star Wars movies the FORCE is the power of the energy for good to fight evil. The force be with you has become common usage when you wish some good luck or best wishes in all kinds of situations. Here we are now, dear MM ANON has the word force , in all capitals , meaning extreme, pay attention, some people say all caps means you’re yelling. I personally do not, many of you know when o type in all caps l am expressing my emotions or concerned topic. MM ANON is in deadly seriously telling us that evil, and we all know the evil, it has a name and backers and ultimately the biggest backer who takes souls and laughs at God! There is an extremely concerted effort, especially today to take down HMTQ and the Monarchy, this is as serious a things get folks. There is a disruption, Harry was the access point, evil got in, has been using him everyday. I do not know what will happen today, tonight , tomorrow or the day after. But vigilance is needed, pray if you’re so inclined. This is the most serious battle and attack HMTQ has ever faced!

give a lot , take a little

That’s the phrase, climate change, leave less carbon footprints , charity give your time, etc. HMTQ and many royals give so much time, yes they get to live in mansions etc, but how many of us could keep HMTQ schedule for 93 years, still smile as if everything was fine. I think no future generations will have those skills. The world has changed, everybody is famous with their Instagram etc etc.

We have madam who has taken and taken , taken, taken, taken,taken, taken, was well with open arms publicly, despite manipulating her way in. She has taken very perk there is. NO GRATITUDE, give an inch, she takes 100 miles, so to speak. What does HMTQ get for this? Fingered up, every way, every day, now the poor card will be played after using and exhausting all her other cards. Few have asked me how l am, wah wah wah. She screams privacy, privacy, don’t take my picture, how can anyone ask you anything? She has treated the British people so vile lay, why would they even WANT TO ASK? They want her gone, pick a country, leave!! Just stop,your whinging , word salad, environmental preaching while taking six private jet flights. On and on and on….

sighted for perpetuity ……

Perpetuity is an interesting word, it’s used in financial terms but does have another usage. Let’s let our friend google help us understand it. One meaning is a bond or other security with no fixed maturity date. The second meaning is used as a legal meaning. It is

a restriction making an estate inalienable perpetually or for a period beyond certain limits fixed by law. Now let’s be clear on what inalienable means that something or someone is unable to be taken away from or given away by the possessor. Basically this is meaning , Harry’s inheritance from his mother, his great grandmother, the Queen mum, any other such funds, homes, jets etc etc CANNOT be taken away from him FOREVER. So should there be a divorce or annulment, she has no legal grounds or recourse to go after any of these items. A payout yes, so the royal family has sound legal and financial admin setting up their assets. Thank God!!!

🎼matter of fact, it’s all dark 🎼………

My dear MM ANON, l must say , l was absolutely expecting a return to this gem today! Pink Floyd’s Eclipse. The lyrics of this song about basically everything in life, l can’t put them in here due to copyright but you can easily find them The song ends with the eclipse. The thought is during a lunar/eclipse of the moon, the moon goes dark and the side we can’t see is still lit up. The song ends by this phrase that MM ANON gave us , it’s all dark. Extrapolating that to the situation at hand, it’s all dark. There is no sliver of a silver lining, bit of light or hope that madam will have an a-ha moment, fall on her knees, acknowledging her sins and beg forgiveness. No no no no, it’s all dark, no redemption will be sought. This is very dire friends, very dire indeed, the prognosis is dark. Hence my feelings of anxiety.

multiple numbers ……

Well what is this? We know madam has had multiple number partners, marriages, sex videos, tax issues, merching, basically everything. What is MM ANON referencing here? Discrepancy in items on her taxes? There are so many possibilities.here

his backhander slush fund

This has an informal British meaning of a secret payment, typically one made illegally; a bribe. So, a slush fund is extra cash , hidden, in case of emergency etc. Who is ‘his’ here? Is it PH? Did he think he could at first, just pay her for the booty call and she would go away, vastly unaware of the plot. Is this PP or PC who have such a fund, if needed. Is this PA, who also may have a fund of this nature, if needed. I have no idea which one but this confirms that such fund exists and the purpose for it, but l don’t know who or why it may have been started or if/when/how often it has been used. Yet another piece of this ever-growing larger puzzle.

silent outrage in Carshalton

Carshalton s a town, with an historic village in the London Borough of Sutton, South London. Historically Carshalton is part of Surrey. The Earl and Countess of Wessex live in Bagshot Park, Surrey. Sophie does so much in her duties. She is exceptionally close to HMTQ. I saw an interview with her and Prince Edward. They said basically every weekend they spend together, doing outdoorsy things, horses etc. She said also, since so close she often goes for tea with HMTQ. Prince Edward has been reportedly been called her favourite son. Edward will inherit his fathers title, the a Duke of a Edinburgh when that time comes. I think the both of them must be terribly concerned for HMTQ and PP, their health, this stress etc etc.

“ But O, how bitter a thing”………” bending of the heart flings”

From Shakespeare’s As You Like It. First quote referencing seeing another’s happiness through their eyes. Harry saw/sees in William and Catherine’s relationship, then marriage, the three beautiful children, their complete and utter love and devotion. These are all things he longs to have, achingly so. I ache for Harry. I cannot seem to locate the second quote, that’s very odd/unusual. I shall figure it out. Longing for something, sometimes one bends or does something they would never nor do, if they think it can get them what they desire. Flings can be a very casual relationship vacation fling, holiday flings etc, now maybe a booty call. So here we have a young man , struggling with his emotional state, severe anxiety, depression and PTSD, has every tangible thing in the world, except he longs for , desires the intangible, love, utter devotion and children of his own, they become tangible or real. This describes the situation exactly when the attack was made on the BRF via Harry. This steams my tea kettle!!

a comfortable exorcism

Exorcism, in its truest meaning, is a person possessed by a demon, or demons/Satan and a Priest or pastor uses Scripture and other things to set the victim free releasing them. This word, demon,is often used now to describe addiction or other really difficult things that have a hold on someone, therapy, AA, exercise etc etc etc can be used to exorcise oneself. So here we have a comfortable getting rid of the thing that has a hold of some. God l plead this means that Harry will be released from the grasp he is under, if l read this correctly, comfortable means exactly that. How this will be done, LG and HMTQ know. Please let me be correct🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

“ sunshine is the best…”

Sunshine is the best disinfectant there is, you hang sheets, quilts laundry and the UV, ultra-violet rays kill anything. Just look at what it does to our skin! MM ANON is being cheeky with a double entendre here, Sunshine Sachs, the supposed master PR firm that ‘uses the dark arts for clients’. Since they have come on board, the boat has tilted and started quickly the process of sinking. So they have done nothing to help, on,y made this worse. However, we can count on God’s glorious creation, the sun, to sterilize the filth that’s made public so far and will be made public in the future!!! So come on, pullback the curtain, let the filth out!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

October 29/2019

1520 hrs CST

You missed the last hint….

a very lumpy bed nutmeg

“A very lumpy bed nutmeg “

I think this in anticipation of a nice bed in an expensive building with lots of hired staff and she will get to wear designer orange jumpsuit! MM ANON hinting at either hospitalization or incarceration. I have an extensive 20 plus years working in the mental health field, inpatient treatment for any personality is in effective, they quickly adapt, learn staff weaknesses etc etc.

Preparing to hope the orange jumpsuit time comes!

Sorry love forgot this one guys, when l cut and pasted the riddle this didn’t appear.

Thank you PG…again looks interesting! Thank you for all that you do. Much appreciated!😁💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

—————-

93: oct 21

MM ANON …… rejected ‘ now reflect!!…… A colonial decision …… Cain un-Abel………… he’s not heavy …… “re-tune your bloody violin”…… “ change the channel 🤣 old thing”…… a broken mendacity …… Calipornia scheming …… “f***that cottage,I wanted the house”…… “ the family I never asked for” …… “all to plan ma’am”……🎼”Paperback Writer? “🎼…… cry-Sis,What cry-Sis.

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

October 21/2019 1340 hrs CST

rejected ‘ now reflect!!

We have had a clue very similar wording, l cannot recall exactly. Madam feels very rejected by the big bad U.K. l have been there a number of times, trust me, l was treated like royalty by my friends there!! The people are feeling very angry by her poor me poor me, the final straw l think the camels back is nearly completely fractured. That’s a phrase when something in life has been building and building and then some happens, the last straw and the person collapses mentally, or becomes violent or leaves a marriage. I hope l am explaining that so it makes sense! Harry will have six weeks to reflect, on everything he has done at HMTQ and LG behest. He has given his all for HMTQ.

Cain un-Abel

In Scripture, Cain and Abel they are the first two sons of Adam and Eve. God was given sacrifices for worship, he found favour in Abel’s sacrifice. Cain murdered Abel , jealousy? Here we have un-Abel. This is clearly Prince William and Prince Harry, not ever the murdering part. I think MM ANON is meaning one brother married and has lovely family and will be King. However Prince Harry’s marriage is bogus as is amw. Prince Harry is obviously struggling in every way. One brother just unable to find the love and family, life partner as the other has. I pray for them both!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

A colonial decision ……

The colonies is what America was called before they separated taxation without representation! So madam has decided to return to the colonies, live her filthy life, write a book and continue to cause carnage, SO SHE THINKS!! She has absolutely no idea what will hit her when reality comes. No more delusional lies, the long list of alleged things done wrong and the laws alleged involved. Oh God, let justice be meted out SOON!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 P.S. madam, most people in the colonies have no idea who you are and more so they don’t care! She will be seen as a whiner etc etc.

he’s not heavy ……

Phrase, and song, he’s not heavy, he’s my brother. In the garbage last night, Harry did not confirm any falling out, he said they’re both on different paths, busy life. But he’s my brother, they will always be brothers and always be there for each other. TO ME THAT SAYS IT ALL!!

“re-tune your bloody violin”……

Old saying when someone is whinging or feeling sorry for thematic, being a drama queen etc another person puts their hand up and rubs their thumb and index finger together. They then asker the whinging person, do you know what this is? It’s the worlds smallest violin playing just for you!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 PP wants a change in the tune, make it louder so madam cannot be heard!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂

“ change the channel 🤣 old thing”…

PP and HMTQ started watching the garbage last night, PP chuckling says to her to change the tv channel! I picture them in their evening close, lovely fireplace, comfy elegant room and furniture, having a cocktail and just enjoying each other’s company. As they have done their entire marriage, they are at each other’s side, just beautiful, brings tears actually how horrible this massive attack has been!

a broken mendacity

Mendacity is untruthfulness, lies. Broken lies, well how many times have we seen this with madam. Dozens, she tells so many lies as does her PR, things get twisted and nothing gets amended, they lie their way out of it when questioned. If it weren’t so deadly serious it would be funny. Like a kid with chocolate all over his face and mum asks if he ate chocolate and he says no. She really is stunted about age 14 , lies like some teenagers do!

Calipornia scheming ……

Well she scheming what else she can do to blow the Monarchy apart and completely destroy it Prince Harry. This six weeks away, home in L.A.?Doing porn, or finding wealthy person to be used by for money.perhaps meeting with her backers. I hear rumours of an interview with OW. The whole group of ba let’s will rally around and continue their unrelenting plot to destroy destroy destroy.

“f***that cottage,I wanted the house”…

Well no surprise there, Frogmore Cottage blech , she wanted FROGMORE HOUSE THE MANSION! What unmitigated gall this stupid, egocentric, narcissistic, evil possessed bint! She probably thinks since their offices are at BP she should be given BP!

“ the family I never asked for” ……

Initially, she was saying the Royal family, was family that she had never had. She knew nothing of them, LIE! In the engagement interview she said everything she knew about the Royal family she leaned from Prince Harry and from actually meeting them. Now she has figuratively slapped them all across the face. Talking about how mentally damaging it is to live using a stiff upper lip. I won’t go into detail of how successful, having this life ethos has helped them get through wars, etc etc, you all know this and what a complete disrespect she has shown to them. To say Tutu was historic leader glad amw could meet, UNBELIEVABLE! HMTQ has reigned for nearly 70 years seen it all. Absolutely no respect for her and the Monarchy itself. I am so angered that this stupid, perverted, sold herself in every possible DARE DARE DARE!!! This degree of vulgarity and disrespect my blood is boiling, l am so angry!

“all to plan ma’am”…

LG giving HMTQ an update on how their work is progressing. He seems very pleased with last nights tv garbage. He has been patiently working with his team to deal with this. He has been playing the ultimate game of chess with someone who cannot play checkers. He has given her many opportunities to show her true self. Last night she was all laid bare, pun intended, videos or photos l am certain will be public at some point. She has walked confidently into every single trap that was laid out for her. Now all captured in living colour, in her own words!! Treason! She was not pregnant, fauxmegnancy! , if there is some surrogate child, it’s not Prince Harry’s child.

🎼”Paperback Writer? “🎼…

This is a great song by the TRUE Fab Four, The Beatles! It actually mentions the Daily Mail and the gossipy things that appear in tabloids. This is telling us that madam is or will be writing a book. She has no limits in her grand focuses and cause maximum carnage with our a Royal family. Her backers probably will pull some strings and make sure it gets maximum coverage. The big bad Brits and the Royal famine didn’t ask her if she was ok. Give me strength Lord🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻.

cry-Sis,What cry-Sis.

Cry-sis is an actual UK charity to assist new parents when their babies have problematic sleep patterns. However, MM ANON, always clever, this is Crisis, what crisis? Someone is in denial. There are several real things happening in the U.K. that fit the word crisis. Brexit, politics, BOJO misleading HMTQ, madam and her backers plan to cause the Royal family to break and crumble. In last night garbage, in an area where life and death issues are occurring, she is 110% self focused. SHE HAS FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS! Yammering on about her tough life standing on African soil where there are many third world problems. She is selfish to a degree l have never seen, it’s evil, Satan working through her! She has completely sold her soul.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

October 21/2019 1455 hrs CST

Fascinating read dear PG! Looking good, all going as planned! Thank you so much, again…much appreciated! 🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜

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94: Oct 22

MM ANON …… dodging the Boo-lets…… November is a wicked month ……… Banksgiving … … “He’s untouchable” …… Dispatches Dispatched…… “ l stand by my husband “s,millions …… “ you’ve lost your mojo mate” …… 🎼” when I was 21,it was a very good year”🎼…… Marry and Hagon …… “meanwhile, back at BP”…… “mummy,mummy a Halloween unicorn 🦄 “…… “ I’m going as a 🦎”…… “well we’re going as M&H”…… “yeah, it’s a pity I listened to my d***”. …… “ nothings impossible mate”…… “look’ here’s your out!!”

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

October 22/2019 1345 hrs CST

… dodging the Boo-lets

Today, now as we speak, madam is wearing her purple maternity dress which magically fits her, whilst attending the One World Youth Symposium at Royal Victoria and Albert Hall. Oh how l would love to see it, l so wish l were well enough to, alas, l am already digressing. This 💜💜”The annual One Young World Summit convenes the brightest young talent from every country and sector, working to accelerate social impact. Delegates from 190+ countries are counselled by influential political, business and humanitarian leaders such as Justin Trudeau, Paul Polman and Meghan Markle, amongst many other global figures.

Delegates participate in four transformative days of speeches, panels, networking and workshops. All delegates have the opportunity to apply to give keynote speeches, sharing a platform with world leaders with the world’s media in attendance. As well as listening to keynote speakers, delegates have the opportunity to challenge world leaders, interact and be mentored by influencers. Delegates make lasting connections throughout the Summit, celebrating their participation at social events and the unforgettable Opening and Closing Ceremonies.

The One Young World Summit 2019 sees the global forum for young leaders return ‘home’ for the first time since the inaugural Summit in 2010. With over 300 languages to be heard on its streets, London is one of the most diverse places in the world. The city is home to nearly 9 million people, one of the world’s biggest financial centres and countless historic sites such as Buckingham Palace and Big Ben. A city where the past and future merge, London provides the ideal backdrop for young leaders from more than 190 countries to work together to accelerate positive change.” 💜💜 Information taken from one young world.com

It’s important because young people are vulnerable. This woman has no shame, After all the fireworks she has set off, she strolls in there, wearing someone else’s hair, in her maternity dress! An enigma wrapped in a riddle, quite literally is she.

Since the audience is composed of young people the addition of let’s after boo, refers to that. The hope of many is that she would be in direct line of receiving public anger. The brief bit l saw was Higgs kiss you etc, no boos nothing. Now l am never one to wish ill will on anyone but consequences for behaviours? ABSOLUTELY!! Consequences will at some point catch up with her!

November is a wicked month …

MM ANON you do enjoy the book don’t you, this is the second time you have referenced it but changed the month. My memory is still intact🤣🤣😂.l shall help others catch up. The book is entitled August is a Wicked Month by Edna O’Brien. The plot revolves around a woman who has moved to a foreign city, separated from her husband, dreadfully unhappy and moves south to find a new life in the sunshine. Well, we are in October, rumours abound about madam moving to Africa or Canada. On behalf of Canada, sorry we are closed for business, if you leave a message NOBODY WILL RESPOND!😂😂🤣🤣 l know l have used that line BRF but it’s so funny😂😂🤣🤣. What November, six weeks off, off to the sunshine in L.A. Oh God please let her lose her passport or have the IRS or FBI awaiting her arrival.

I must say, l have been pleading for Harry, PTSD, combat fatigue, that he be assessed medically for that pain, and psychologically regarding the off the charts stress of this role he has been playing. Thank you HMTQ and LG for giving him six weeks leave, he is so badly in need of it.

Banksgiving

Madam returning home for American Thanksgiving which occurs much later than ours(Canadian)does. There is no bank holiday for Thanksgiving in the U.K. so what’s the meaning here? Is madam going to earn some money during the sex, l meant six weeks off?? I know she’s resourceful, has no shame, long history of letting every bit of her, body heart soul used. So l won’t think further, you can all imagine ways she might find a ‘bank’ in America.

“ l stand by my husband “s,millions

Old country music song Stand by Your Man, l think Tammy Wynette? Yes, madam has stood by her H , so many times, loving, supportive, so concerned when he was in pain, always let’s him go first, never interrupts him, praises HMTQ, treats people respectfully, especially during Royal tours, follows protocol in every way, oh oh oh, wait, l am thinking of Catherine! Yes the Duchess of Cambridge stands by her man! Madam stands by Prince Harry for his money and his fathers money, heck, anyone s money just as long as they give it too her. I may be jovial today is some comments, l have been awake since 0300 hrs bad night, but you all know by know how seriously l take to do justice to dear MM ANON in interpreting her riddles! Humour is a coping mechanism, l have honed that skill well!

“ you’ve lost your mojo mate” …

Prince Harry likely spending time with friends he has not seen for awhile. Likely he can share only certain things. Everyone who has eyes can see HES lost weight, depressed etc etc. The word mojo, when l was little, mojos were little fruit chewy candies, 5 for two cents. Mojo, means ones drive for life, zest to do new things or go back to doing things you used to enjoy. This is a very loving and honest person telling Harry this. I am so glad he’s got so many who love him. Harry, there are lots like me, who believe in you 100% , pray for you and want the octopus tentacles untethered from around you!

… 🎼” when I was 21,it was a very good year”🎼…

What MM ANON., no Pink Floyd. Now this is my jam, ‘ol blue eyes himself, Mr. Frank Sinatra, when music was music. This is a sentimental song. The lyrics take us through four phases in a mans life, ages 17,21,35 and autumn , the older years. It describes relationships with women, no let me take that back, it’s about how males see females at different ages. Seventeen is all teeny bopper love. Twenty one, things get far more intimate. Thirty five is interest, because Harry is due to turn 35. That part of the song, the lyrics speak of relationship with blue blooded woman, limousines, chauffeurs. I am interpreting this as an annulment or divorce before he turns 35. Hope and a future to look forward to real love, a real family of his very own. I wish that with all my heart for our Harry!

… Marry and Hagon

Marry and Hagon? Harry and Magon……..She will be gone. Harry will be Harry but she will be gone!!!!!

“meanwhile, back at BP”……

Old saying meanwhile back at the ranch, means change the topic or in tv shows change of scene. So with all that has gone on, HMTQ remains doing her duty each and every day. How l love her in purple!! She follows her routine, to the letter, giving each appearance her all. One would never ever know of all the things that have happened and are continuing to happen behind the scenes. The stiff upper lip, that’s how one gets things done, it’s not mentally damaging. HOBBIES , sniff sniff, snort snort, the like madam loves, and PERVERSION are mentally damaging. There is a saying, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. One doesn’t whimper and moan. With my current life, since my spinal lesion and constant pain, my life changed fir sure. Stiff upper lip and humour have got me through. I think pretty much anyone who has read my words, or messaged me, can attest to the fact that l have a serious side along with a silly side! Stiff upper lip!!

“mummy,mummy a Halloween unicorn 🦄 “…… “ I’m going as a 🦎”… “well we’re going as M&H”…

Well, how much would l LOVE to see these beautiful children in their Halloween costumes!! Princess Charlotte, a unicorn, Prince George as a lizard, William and Catherine’s joking as who they will be. MM ANON, can you please find out what boss baby Prince Louis’ costume will be!! Thank God for the beautiful Cambridge family,they are so beloved.

“yeah, it’s a pity I listened to my d***”.

Prince Harry, again in conversation, l would say definitely with a male due to usage of the d word, starts with d rhymes with pick. Talking together with how he got into this mess. It was a booty call, just a booty call. To have that lead where it has, is terrifying. Pay attention kids! No casual sex! It eats away at your soul.

“ nothings impossible mate”……

Continuing in the conversation, his friend is reassuring Prince Harry that he has fulfilled his duty. This relationship will end in annulment or divorce and the future is bright. He has learned so much about himself, about life, about what’s truly important and there is definitely possibility for him to find love and have his own family. All thank a God he has supportive friends and family who live him!

“look’ here’s your out!!”

Madam, wah wah wah, nobody asks me if l am ok, and saying in vague terms that she maybe cannot continue, it’s near the end of the interview, l cannot recall the exact words. She will go to America , hit the ground running there🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣. The only way she will hit the ground running is if she parachutes off the plane! Her doing this, his friend is saying that Harry’s out, it’s a short way to say, you can get out of a situation. This means get out of the marriage. I am still not 100% there is a legal marriage, Harry held up the register as he signed, plus non-consumation, (no intimacy after vows)annulment. I think the fact that this alleged baby is NOT his, that is critical point as well. Treason, madam trying to pass off baby as being of the body, fauxmegnancy, and no DNA matching Harry.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

October 22/2019 1500 hrs CST💜💜💜💜💜

Thank you dear PG! This is great….things are happening in the background….I too would love to know what PL will be! Much appreciated as usual…😊💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

********

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG APOLOGISES🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

💜💜💜I have to apologize, l after the submission, noted two clues were missed by me.

l have changed how l work on the riddles, in terms of where on my iPad. It has happened several times that l miss clues since that time.

MM ANON, l mostly apologize to you, l know you work so hard on your riddles.

Am l forgiven!???🥺

GSTQAOBC🇨🇦

PG, no need to apologize…we appreciate you and all the time and effort you put in…😊💜💜💜💜

*********

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻FOR MM ANON FROM PG🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

MM Anon💜💜💜💜💜

MM ANON …… pg … no apologies never!!! You’re input as with others who give such a wealth of interpretations. Time for me to thank everyone for their esteemed efforts , my sincere and humble thanks. One last riddle ……… “ The pain in gain stays mainly on the wane.” (( difficult)) … but fun.

Eliza Doolittle

the rain in Spain stats mainly in the plains

MY FAIR LADY awe come on that was easy! Rex Harrison always my idea of an Englishman!

Seriously thank you for your kind words!

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

GSTQAOBC🇨🇦

Thank you PG😊❤️❤️❤️

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95: oct 24

MM Anon I DONT KNOW WHY IT WAS ALL JUMBLED UP I HAVE REDONE IT

MM ANON …… 22 years,sex lies drugs and video tapes …… little boy lost (and found) …… LGs long rope …… 🎼don’t cry for me …… 🎼……… DVDelivery …… LGs records. …… 🎼”cold comfort for change”🎼MA……… “ No darling, 42 and counting “……… “ since 🎼don’t cry for me …… 🎼 before the gathering of unhappy people old thing”……… inadmissible but relevant …… “ a brilliant QC”……… “ a very thick brief📇⚖️“…… “as tight as a ducks@$$ under water’ ma’am”…… “one is reluctant you understand!

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

October 24/2019 0500 hrs CST

Sorry it’s submitted so late!

22 years,sex lies drugs and video tapes

Madam has a long, sordid past and present, her future is unknown, one can always pray for redemption. This clue is telling us of several decades of vulgarity, substance(s) use and abuse, pornographic videos etc etc etc. Some people somewhere have the videos. There has to be many many witnesses or people out there who have first hand knowledge either participating in or observing these behaviours. Thus far there has been no whistle blowers so to speak. That tells us a lot of money has been paid or threats made to silence people.

little boy lost (and found)

This has been the title of numerous tings, sculpture, film, novel and a poem by poem by William Blake in the 1700’s. I will focus on that. It is written by a Christian, he uses the metaphor of a young boy walking behind his father but loses his way, endings up all wet and muddy. Here we have little boy lost and found. This is of course our Harry. He was lost emotionally decades after he lost his mum. Lifestyle choices were not the best, shall leave it at that. He met madam on a booty call, here we are today. Harry has, l still believe! been working covertly for all the reasons l have stated reported in my interpretations. Hence the little boy, now a man has been giving his all to make up for his mistake(s) to his own physical peril. Weight loss, depression etc etc. He now has six weeks leave!

LGs long rope

LG has made a long game plan, every step of the way madam, thinking she’s getting her way, has fallen into every trap, the ultimate being the video interview with Tom Brady, Harry’s friend going way back! The old saying give a guy a rope and he will hang himself , metaphorically, like give an inch , she will take a mile. Give her bit of freedom and she ends up looking like an idiot. Well she truly has incriminated herself, the video was brilliant in capturing everything in HER OWN WORDS!

🎼don’t cry for me …… 🎼

Fantastic musical entitled Evita! Based on the life of Evita Peron . She was born Maria Eva Duarte’s in a small village in Argentina, in a very poor family. At young age she moved to Buenos Aires with big dreams of being famous actress. A year there she met her future husband at a charity event. Juan Peron became president in 1946 and she was First Lady until 1952, year she died. The Musial became very successful even became a film with Madonna. Anyhow we know madam spent time in Argentina as arranged by one of her uncles, working in some job at the embassy/ consulate. Those years are murky but she didn’t last long , she allegedly left suddenly with some guy. The irony of both women’s lives cannot be lost!

DVDelivery

DVD, we know recordings of sex exist. Who sent them and who received them? Who has copies. There are videos onlin, l won’t watch but some say yes, some say no regarding whose in them. I would think, LG has long long had possession of that and worse. We know the DM has a million dossier ready to go , ready BEFORE the day of unhappy people!

LGs records.

LG has the most distinguished record of service to HMTQ and country. I am certain he has kept a volume of data, in all forms of all the information he and his team and other agencies have collected. I am as certain of that as l am certain of anything.

🎼”cold comfort for change”🎼MA

MM ANON takes us again to Pink Floyd. I used to love! this song, Wish You Were Here, can be used with any loss, or at least l found it to be thus. Madam and MA have been an illicit pair for years and years. Just imagine what the two of them got up to together! Using SoHo, MA knows EVERYBODY,, He probably has dirt of EVERYBODY as well! These two, longing for each other’s company and their plans to outwit the backers or make that go rogue, marry baby etc etc. Their continued secret communications, thinking LG had no idea😂😂😂😂🤣. Oh they’re both in a world of hurt, missing their partner in crime, a common phrase but here think a literal meaning!!!

“ No darling, 42 and counting “…

There has long long long been speculation that madam is not and has never been truthful about her real age. MM ANON is telling us 42 and counting so what is her real exact age??? Old as her tongue and a little older than her teeth😂😂😂🤣🤣.

“ since 🎼don’t cry for me …… 🎼 before the gathering of unhappy people old thing”

I put these two clues together because MM ANON started and ended the quotation marks. The song Don’t Cry for Me Argentina is from the musical Evita. It was a film in 1996. Evita the stage version started as a rock musical in 1976, came to the West End in 1978, Andrew Lloyd Webber, the brilliant creator. Let’s do some math 2019 - 1976 mmmm what’s that give us 43! Madam is 43!!!! She was 42 at the gathering of unhappy people!!LIAR CRY FOUL, LEST BE A LIAR!!!

inadmissible but relevant

Evidence, has to be obtained legally or given voluntarily in order for it to be used in court. So what evidence exists that is relevant but inadmissible? Anything subjective, gut feeling, something told under duress, that sort of thing.

“ a brilliant QC”…

To those unfamiliar, in the U.K. and Canada the “Queen’s Counsel”, an honour given to a senior and distinguished barrister in recognition of an outstanding career during Queen Victoria’s reign. K.C. means King’s Counsel. K.C.

In Canada, the honourary title of Queen’s Counsel, or QC, is used to recognize Canadian lawyers for exceptional merit and contribution to the legal profession. These barristers or attorneys/lawyers are responsible for bringing legal cases to court for prosecution. They must need a brilliant one to process the litany of alleged crimes to be charged. I have absolutely no doubt there are many capable and they have alright had decisions made in this regard.

“ a very thick brief📇⚖️“…

A brief is a written legal document used in various legal adversarial systems that is presented to a court arguing why one party to a particular case should prevail. Upon a barrister devolves the duty of taking charge of a case when it comes into court, but all the preliminary work, such as the drawing up of the case, serving papers, marshalling evidence, etc., is performed by a solicitor. The delivery of a brief to counsel gives him authority to act for his client in all matters which the litigation involves.The brief was probably so called from its first being only a copy of the original writ. From wiki. So given the number and brevity of likely charges, one can only begin to imagine the amount of paperwork, evidence , briefs etc etc etc

“as tight as a ducks@$$ under water’ ma’am”

LG and HMTQ in conversation, he is reassuring her, the evidence with corresponding charges is wrapped up solid.Her reply follows below.

“one is reluctant you understand!

She is reluctant to give the official go ahead, with all the unknown reverberations that could occur across the country, the U.K. , the Commonwealth and the globe, especially in light of Brexit. She has so much on her shoulders. Let’s do remember HMTQ in our prayers.🙏🏻🙏🏻

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

October 24/2019 0605 C

This worked PG….thank you😊❤️❤️❤️

——————

96: Oct 24

💜RESUBMITTING THE RIGHT RIDDLE NOW💜

MM Anon

MM ANON …… six weeks in rehab🤫……… Invictus recovery …… loyally remembered …… unhook the Tender…… burned boats……political ambition …… nutmegs WH moment … sugar queen…… 🎼” When I was young it seemed that life …“🎼 …… The casting of the Runes……” EU-bloody-REKA old thing “…… safe inside WC…… “a strategic move to Winchester 📵”

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

October 24/2019

1130 hrs CST

six weeks in rehab🤫

Rehab on the dl as the kids used to say. Down low, secretly. The emoji is the shhhh emoji, so it’s information to be kept quiet. So is that what visits to L.A. are now? Rehab? Is it compelled rehab?? She truly does need help, l also think a full medical and psychiatric work-up/assessment would be prudent. A long history of paranoia, people medicate themselves when experiencing psychotic symptoms. Unsure when this will happen. Harry needs family rehab, medical care, therapist but most of all time away from madam, of any appearances with her. Time to recharge his personal batteries, get his mojo back, as MM ANON used the word mojo, the other day!😊

Invictus recovery

Invictus, Harry’s blood sweat and l am certain many tears were the impetus for him creating Invictus. Invictus from the Latin means undefeated or unconquered. It is the perfect word for describing the individuals who are veterans with visible or not visible post war trauma. The next a Invictus Games are you be held at The Hague, The Netherlands in May, 2020. Harry did a quick visit there while madam was having her fauxmegnancy. This organization has helped uncounted veterans and their families, through the games, the camaraderie etc. He has done extremely well and he should be very very proud of helping sooo many including himself!

… loyally remembered November 11/2019, the eleventh hour, the eleventh day of the eleventh month we all or should stop to remain those veterans and those fallen in battle for our freedoms. It is always a day that many attend services, the Royal family always do, they spread out and cover various places. Harry is Colonel-in-Chief of the Army Air Corps (AAC), and as HMTQ Personal Aide-de-Camp. He will be dressed in his dress uniform and likely attend several places. I think it might be especially poignant and painful this year due to the suicide of his close friend, who helped train him for the South Pole adventure, Jules Roberts.

unhook the Tender…

Unhook means to open or take/out down like curtain pins, or bra. Tender can mean gentle, Tender is also money, called legal tender. So who is taking down money and from where for what reason? Tender l just read can also be a battery or electrical charger. As l think now, this may be a right metaphor MM ANON has given. Unhook the tender, at any point you want a spark or a charge it’s ready and waiting! Voila, LG has all the evidence collected, case tight, all i‘S dotted and t’s crossed. Everything ship shape, nothing remotely left to chance, right down to MI6 watching over a Grandpa Tom in Mexico. Kids , it’s as close as it gets, hang on!

burned boats

H

Burned bridges can be literal actually burning a bridge but it can also mean damage or break your future options, connections,reputation, opportunities, by some act, particularly intentionally. Even if you fired from a job take care not to burn your bridges with unseemly comments on the way out, since you never know who you will meet again. Here we have burned boats, has madam lost any and all contacts in her yachting world, source of money. She very likely has, no one would be interested now, especially wealthy men, they don’t want the obvious scandal that would come if they were seen and perchance she be recognized. The obvious reason is her age, she , as my cousin who has a horse ranch would say, she been ridden hard and put away wet! You must rubdown a horse after riding. She’s aged and not well, her hobbies have really taken their toll.

political ambition

It has been rumoured for quite sometime that madam has political aspirations and even rumoured of her taking a run for the White House where the president of America has his office and home. All l can do is 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

nutmegs WH moment

Madam met BO when he was President, she was the plus one guest of Ron Burkle , of SoHo. I wonder what on earth she had to do, to get that plus one invite!!!!🤢🤢🤢 Likely nothing she has not done numerous times before!

sugar queen…

Madams cult-like brainwashed ‘fans’ mostly younger and a certain demographic. They, l don’t know why, are called sugars. They worship her she is their queen, they fully believe she should be the next Queen. Since doing these riddles l have, sadly, learned of the ‘urban dictionary’, here is their definition,💜💜” A bisexual male that is stylish and easy to talk to to usually attractive and full of talent and advice 💜💜 A person who supports any and all activities (past, present, and future) done by the former z-list actress and current failure-as-a-royal and by several puns involving the name “Sussex.” Sugars owe their unfortunate allegiance to a number of factors, including (but not limited to) congenitally-low IQ, complete ignorance of etiquette and royal protocol, an excess of entitlement, self-esteem at a level warranted by godhood (with nothing to back it up), and the feeble defenses of “Jealousy!” and “Racist!” when challenged.💜💜 Actually, they are pretty much lower-rent clones of their low-rent diva goddess. I just can’t believe this sorry folks l am as shocked as you will be reading this!! The items between the Purple Hearts are from the urban dictionary!!They have actually MADE UP A WORD JUST FOR MADAM!

🎼” When I was young it seemed that life …“🎼

Life was just for fun… This song, All By Myself, has been covered/performed by many, my favourite being Celine Dion. The song talk about being young, casual sex, flings, and getting older. The entire premise of the song is someone who desperately does not want to be alone and grow old alone. This is our Harry. I won’t repeat his history, relationships, we all know all of it. Once madam is no longer in the picture, incarceration, moved whatever, he will begin the process of figuring out who he is after this experience. He will need a lot of time talking with a professional to help him, his pre-existing depression, PTSD compounded with the trauma of the last two years. He is young, healthy, has a big family who live him dearly. I have hope for him to find his love and have a real family of his own. Now l am going to hav this song in my head all day!

The casting of the Runes

Let’s educate ourselves on what Runes means. Wiki tells me it has several meanings, l am only familiar with it as stones. a letter of an ancient Germanic alphabet, related to the Roman alphabet. Wiki

a mark or letter of mysterious or magic significance.

small stones, pieces of bone, etc., bearing runes, and used as divinatory symbols Casting the Runes“ is a short story written by the English writer M.R. James The story briefly wiki Mr. Edward Dunning is a researcher for the British Museum. At the beginning of the story he has recently reviewed The Truth of Alchemy by a Mr. Karswell, an alchemist and occultist. Afterwards he begins seeing the name John Harrington displayed wherever he goes. He learns that Harrington also reviewed Karswell’s work and died in a freak accident not long after.

Harrington’s brother helps Dunning to discover that Karswell cursed both men by slipping them a piece of paper with some runes on it. They deduce that the curse, once cast, will cause the bearer to die in three months. They track down Karswell a day before the curse is set to kill Dunning and manage to return the runes to him. Karswell dies the next day, killed by a stone that fell from scaffolding around St. Wulfram’s Church in Abbeville.

I couldn’t shorten it and do it justice. So basically madam has cast the runes, a horrible spell on Harry, he has suffered under it through it and his family has been exerting every possible intervention to help him, gather intel and evidence of alleged crimes. There will be justice, it is coming. JUSTICE IS COMING RACHEL!! TICK TOCK 🕰

” EU-bloody-REKA old thing “…

Eureka is what the miners used to shout when they struck gold, oil, diamonds etc. Here MM ANON has written EU-bloody-REKA old thing. They are talking about Brexit and what the nation has been going through ever since the votes came in. Lots is still unknown and everyone is on edge, to put it mildly.

safe inside WC

Safe has at least two meaning, one is to be kept from harm, contented or a metal device or strong box that holds valuables, jewels cash, papers, wills, bonds etc etc. I am certain there is a safe in Windsor Castle ie WC. HMTQ is also safe at WC, there are plenty of RPO’S to protect her from anything and everything. I am very interested in what is the topic MM ANON is sharing with us. What’s in the safe?? Photos, dvd(s), recordings, on and on! Something of importance that’s for certain!

“a strategic move to Winchester 📵”

The emoji indicates blockage of cell phone/mobile device usage. Two places l know of for certain hospitals and prisons. The city of Winchester has both, and they are right across the street from each other. Clever eh? Rehab in one, no outside communication, alone with her thoughts, no hobbies no cope, it’s going to be a personal hell to detox. I’ve seen it many times, it’s horrible. Strategic in terms of containing for personal safety, not harm self, no contact with others, no news or what’s happening in the world etc etc. GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦 October 24/2019 1315 hrs CST

Thank you dear PG😊💜💜💜

——————

[omfgtrump]

The Two Viruses: Part 3

So we have entered The Twilight Zone (please pause and take a moment to hear the classic theme song.) A sense of dread hovers over us.  The communal anxiety is palpable as we take measures to try to mitigate the spread of the Coronavirus.

How has the leader of our country faring this week in his attempt to manage the existential crisis we face?

The Don took to the Oval Office to address the nation. Presidents addressing the country from the Oval Office lends an air of gravitas, which is difficult for a know-nothing, incompetent fool to pull off. Simply sticking your chin out, snarling, and keeping your head held high doesn’t get you points.

I believe the purpose was to show us that he had a plan to address the growing crisis and to quell the volatility of the financial markets. It was an abomination.

While he was giving his speech, the futures market was tanking in real time and the next day the U.S. stock market was down 10%. Guess he fucked that up! Weren’t you surprised?

When he heard the news about the futures, rumor has it that he blamed Fed Chairman Powell: “He should have been able to control this; if I was head of the Fed this would never have happened.”

He announced a travel ban to Europe stating he had been in “frequent touch with our allies,” though they had no idea he was doing this.

Here is the statement issued by two leaders of the European Union: “The European Union disapproves of the fact that the U.S. decision to impose a travel ban was taken unilaterally and without consultation.”

Can you imagine the chaos this surprise ban created? Leaders of Europe pouring through the list of banned countries, frantically calling each other.

European Leader: Hey, Macron, you banned.

Macron: Yeah. But what’s up with giving Boris a free pass. They have a bunch of cases there?

European Leader: Who knows, maybe it’s the orange hair connection.

Macron: The freaking baboon club.

Don, The great Banner-in-Chief.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could ban the banner? Oh, that is called impeachment and his immoral and sycophantic Republican cronies took a pass on that.

My favorite part of the speech was when he used the words “national emergency,” which the very stable genius declared to be “two very big words.” Is that two important words? Or is it big words, like in “big hands.”

Now that I think of it, it’s been a while since the national conversation revolved around talk about hands, but given the hand-job we are getting from The Don, maybe it’s time to bring hands back in to the dialogue. (Don’t you miss the good ole days of Little Marco and the “little hands? Such quaint and charming times.)

So as we all obsessively wash our hands, and dream of the day we can wash our hands of him, let’s put our hands together and pray as November can’t come soon enough.

Okay, enough riffing on hands. Let’s get back to the “two very big words”: “Emergency” does have gravitas, and “national” does as well, particularly when you consider we have a White Nationalist running our country.

But honestly, these words don’t seem so big. Now antidisestblashimenttarianism is a big word. Or how about Supercalifragilisticespialadocious. Boy could we use Mary Poppins now as she would figure a way out of the emergency we are in.

What about the word honorificabilitudinitas, which can be translated as “the state of being able to achieve honors.” Actually, it turns up in a Shakespeare play. The wordsmith at play. So I guess when it comes to The Don, we need to put an anti in front of the word and define it as the state of achieving dishonor.

And how about Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, which is one of the longest words in the dictionary — and, in an ironic twist, means the fear of long words. I definitely would have guessed fear of a hippopotamus, but words can be deceiving as we know from the thousands of lies The Don has told. The longest words The Don ever uses are beautiful and tremendous; so he is definitely a primo Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

And the winner is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a word that refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles, specifically from a volcano. Given the Coronavirus’s capacity to cause pneumonia, this one seems really relevant.

At a press conference, the following day, The Don managed to blame Obama again for his failure to respond with the urgency necessary. (The only thing he hasn’t blamed him for is killing Jesus!)

“I don’t take responsibility at all because we were given a set of circumstances and we were given rules, regulations, and specifications from a different time.”

If we were playing a game of Clue, the game would end before it started because, no matter the evidence, Obama did it!

When asked if he was responsible for disbanding the White House Pandemic team created by the Obama administration he denied responsibility.

“When you say me, I didn’t do it. We have a group of people I could ask — perhaps my administration — but I could perhaps ask Tony (Dr. Anthony Fauci) about that because I don’t know anything about it.”

Rumor has it that The Don muttered under his breath: “Find out who did that and fire him. His aide responded: “Um, sir, Bolton did it and you already fired him.” The Don responded “I knew I hated that guy, but let’s tell people the black guy, oops, I mean Obama did it.”

Rumor also has it that Anthony Fauci turned to a colleague and said: “Him calling me Tony makes me want to wash my hands.”

Then someone asked him if he would be tested after interacting with a Brazilian official who tested positive for the virus just day after meeting with him in Florida?

Here’s how that conversation went.

“I think they shouldn’t be jumping to get the test unless it’s necessary, but I think they have to listen to their doctors,” the president said.

But when pressed again on the issue, Mr. Trump equivocated. In fact, he said, he did plan to get tested “fairly soon,” but not because of his exposure to an infected individual.

“Not for that reason,” he said, without providing another reason for the test that until now he appears to have resisted. “I think I will do it anyway. Fairly soon. We’re working out a schedule.”

Let’s pause here and conjure up the theme music for the Twilight Zone again. According to The Don’s new bestie friend Tony, anyone who has interacted with someone who tested positive should be tested and quarantined until they know the result, in order to not to spread the virus. (Even evil Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz, who were exposed, self-quarantined!)

The Don, who is supposed to be leading by example is telling the country he would do this “fairly soon.” Are you apoplectic yet? And then he has to qualify that even if he is tested, he isn’t doing it because he was exposed to someone who tested positive as in “not for that reason.” It’s like he is saying “I am only doing it to get you assholes off my back. I could never get infected because I am a very stable genius and my God-like capacity makes me immune to viruses. Finally, after receiving a beautiful and tremendous amount of pressure he was tested and was negative. (Who reading this is thinking what I am thinking?) His response to this was I only got tested “because the media was going crazy.” So even when he does the thing he should have done he is so disturbed that he can’t say he did it because it was the right thing to do or that maybe that he wouldn’t want to spread it to others? Now that’s a leader for you, a man who has more empathy than anyone has ever had.

The Don’s sheer disregard for others and incompetence has made everything worse. He, his cronies and Fox News have spread falsities and are responsible for how badly this virus spreads and the devastation it brings down on our country. They all should be prosecuted for criminal negligence. We must do everything in our power to wash our hands of him.

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[sea-and-storm]

LFRP (CRYSTAL)  ||  KJRN FYTHE*

* Exact name & other details may change pending release of naming conventions.

[ BASIC INFORMATION ]

[FULL NAME]   Kjrn Fythe.

[PRONOUNCED]   Kee-ehrn Faiythe (rhymes with lithe).

[ALIASES]   None at present. At least, none to which she’ll answer. 

[GENDER]   Female.

[AGE]  Somewhere in her 80s-90s, but appears approx. early to mid-thirties.

[NAMEDAY]   21st Sun of the Fourth Umbral Moon (8/21).

[RACE]   Rava Viera

[RELIGION]   Questioning, non-practicing.

[LANGUAGES]   Common, Dalmascan.

[ACCENT]   Icelandic, by real world standards.

[HANDEDNESS]   Ambidextrous.

[ APPEARANCE ]

[HAIR]   A long and wildly voluminous mess of deep, rich burgundy, usually swept up into a long ponytail or left to trail down her back. Very soft, very shiny, and clearly tended to with much care and love. Touch at your own risk.

[EYES]   Pale gold.

[COMPLEXION]   Medium tan with coppery undertones.

[HEIGHT]   6′2″ (before ears)  -  7′0″ (with ears)

[BUILD]   A sturdy fighter's build. Whilst not wholly bereft of curvature, she's far from soft or delicate. Instead she bears the distinct musculature and build of someone who has poured many hours over many years into training their body for the rigors of battle.

[POSTURE]   In the public’s eye, upright and confident. Behind closed doors or in the company of those she trusts, her posture is more often than not that of someone tired and with much phantom weight bearing down upon them.

[SCARS]   She bears a number of general scars, mostly bestial in nature, across her body from the nature of the work she does delving into ruins and lairs. However, the most notable are the multitude of burn scars that cover a good portion of her body. They start at her right temple, mercifully skirting around the outer corner of her eye and proceeding downward over her cheek, jaw, neck, shoulder, the entire length of her arm, both hands up to the wrist, and down her side and back until coming to a rough stop around her hip. Save for her face, she usually tries to keep the rest of the scars covered from prying eyes.

[MANNER OF DRESS]   Nothing overly ostentatious, nor overly drab. You’re just as likely to find her in her working gear as opposed to street clothes, though. She seems just as, if not more comfortable in them. 

[JEWELRY]   Her ears are pierced thrice each, with three golden studs in each ear. Under her gloves on her left hand, she wears a simple golden band on her ring finger. There seems to be something inscribed on it, but the lettering is worn from age and she doesn’t often let anyone close enough to read it.

[ COMBAT SKILL ]

[COMBAT CLASS]   Gunblader & Markswoman.

[MELEE PROFICIENCY]   None  |  Low  |  Intermediate  |  High  |  Masterful

[RANGED PROFICIENCY]   None  |  Low  |  Intermediate  |  High  |  Masterful

[MAGICAL PROFICIENCY]   None  |  Low  |  Intermediate  |  High  |  Masterful

[HEALING PROFICIENCY]   None  |  Low  |  Intermediate  |  High  |  Masterful

[ATTRIBUTES] - - -  STRENGTH:   16 (+3) - - -  DEXTERITY:    15 (+2) - - -  CONSTITUTION:   16 (+3) - - -  INTELLIGENCE:   10 (+0) - - -  WISDOM:   9 (-1) - - -  CHARISMA:   10 (+0)

[WEAPONRY]  Salvaged and refitted Garlean-make gunblade & six-shot revolver.

[ARMOR]  Changes depending upon the circumstances. Varies from light leathers to heavier plate and chain, depending on the job.

[COMBAT STRENGTHS]   Fights well against beasts & Garleans, within open spaces. Excellent teamwork, fights well in a group setting. Highly protective of teammates.

[COMBAT WEAKNESSES]  Struggles against spoken races (except Imperials) and within tight spaces. Certain scenarios may trigger PTSD flashbacks mid-combat. Particularly sensitive to magical effects cast upon her;  too much aetheric exposure, even of the positive variety, may trigger a brief berserk state until the excess aether is expended and exhaustion takes over.

[ EARLY YEARS ]

[HOMELAND]   A forest village near the outskirts of Dalmasca.

[PARENTS]   Mjra Fythe (mother)  -  Father Unknown.

[SIBLINGS]   Aela Fythe (older sister)  -  Arla Fythe (younger sister)

[CLAN ROLE]   Huntress, tracker.

[CLAN STATUS]   Self-ostracized.

[REASON(S) FOR LEAVING]   Kjrn decided that she couldn’t see herself living her whole life in the Wood. Joined by her close friend and fellow huntress, Pria Atoel, she left for the city of Dalmasca to start a new life in the larger world.

[ LATER YEARS ]

[PAST RESIDENCE]   Dalmasca.

[PAST OCCUPATION]   Resistance fighter, magitek salvager.

[PAST AFFILIATION]   Dalmascan Resistance.

[PAST FINANCIAL STATUS]   Moderate, comfortable.

[PAST SOCIAL STATUS]   Respected.

[PAST RELATIONSHIPS]   Pria Atoel, wife - deceased.

[PAST FRIENDSHIPS]  A number of friends and allies from the Resistance, as well as other Dalmascan citizens. (Open to background connections!)

[REASON(S) FOR LEAVING]   Left Dalmasca and set herself to wandering aimlessly after a fire that stole both home and family from her.

[ PRESENT DAY ]

[RESIDENCE]   Wherever her weary feet wander. These days, it’s mostly Eorzea or an occasional jaunt to the Far East.

[OCCUPATION]   Treasure Hunter & Merchant of Myriad Miscellanea.

[AFFILIATIONS]   None actively, but still sympathetic to the Dalmascan Resistance and occasionally will send a bit of extra coin their way through some old contacts.

[FINANCIAL STATUS]   Varies. Sometimes well-off, sometimes dirt poor. Depends largely on how successful her treasure-hunting jaunts go.

[SOCIAL STATUS]   Hasn’t really stuck around in one place long enough in recent history to establish any roots nor reputation. Just another adventurer to most.

[RELATIONSHIP STATUS]   Widowed, shows little interest in courting anyone.

[PRESENT FRIENDSHIPS]   Keeps in touch with a few people from her Resistance days, but not many that she could call a close friend. (Open to connections!)

[VICES]   Occasionally numbs her pains with drink, smoke, and sex. She’s tried certain drugs before and while not entirely opposed to them, her sometimes light coinpurse usually keeps her from forming any sort of lasting habit.

[ ROMANCE & SEX ]

[GENDER IDENTITY]   Cisgender Female.

[ROMANTIC ORIENTATION]  Demi-homoromantic.

[EMOTIONAL ROLE]   Submissive  |  Dominant  |  Switch  |  Unsure

[RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES]   Her biggest tendency is to just not get herself into a relationship. But if she were to do so, it would be a difficult thing to uphold given her tendency to doubt herself and her anxiety over the thought of loss.

[LOVE LANGUAGE]  Kjrn isn’t much of a verbal lover. She’ll drop an ‘I love you’ every now and then, but her love shines through more in her actions. Her love language speaks in things like gentle, careful caresses and thoughtful gifts.

[SEXUAL ORIENTATION]   Homosexual.

[SEXUAL ROLE]   Submissive  |  Dominant  |  Switch  |  Unsure

[LIBIDO]   Surprisingly average, given how often she finds herself in the company of ladies of the evening. Truthfully, she just prefers not to sleep in a cold and lonely bed, and sex without emotional attachments is safer and less painful than otherwise.

[ATTRACTED TO]   Confidence. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Gentleness. 

[TURN OFFS]   Arrogance. Selfishness. Cruelty. Indecisiveness. Shyness. 

[ PERSONALITY TRAITS ]

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

[ HOOKS ] 

TREASURE HUNTER Kjrn presently makes her living by delving into ruins, tombs, and other such places most folk have no business wandering into in search of anything she might turn a profit on. But such expeditions are dangerous, and usually she’ll either put together a small team herself or seek out a job that’s hiring apt hands. Got a job in need of a sturdy fighter with a big ol’ sword? She’s your viera! (As a note, I would also potentially be interested in finding an RP FC with this sort of theme! If you’re part of one of these FCs or even just know of one that might tick said box, let me know and I’ll gladly check it out!)

MERCHANT OF MYRIAD MISCELLANEA Naturally, after a victorious venture in dungeoneering, Kjrn will usually come out of it with a number of items in need of off-loading. She has a particular eye for anything shiny and beautiful like gems and jewelry, but she’s also been known to come back with anything from weapons to magical items to sell to whomsoever is inclined to pay good coin.

DALMASCAN RESISTANCE AFFILIATE Kjrn and her wife, Pria, were once fairly respected members of the Resistance, fighting the Imperials and salvaging magitek to refit and use against them when all was said and done. However, after the former’s passing, Kjrn stepped down from her active position in the Resistance to take on a more auxiliary role by helping support it financially. She still maintains connections to the Resistance to this day, and some still haven’t given up the hope that she might eventually return to the fight.

HATRED OF EMPTY BEDS Since the loss of her wife, Kjrn has come to absolutely abhor sleeping alone. Yet those wounds are still fresh in her mind despite the decades that have passed, and relationships are always fraught with the peril of loss. And so, Kjrn has become something of a frequent flyer when it comes to the services of ladies of the evening as a coping measure against the loneliness she feels. (That said, I am NOT looking for ERP-heavy / ERP-only connections. In fact, I usually prefer for ERP to come up as little as possible unless it serves a purpose in a narrative or if I just plain feel like stretching those rarely-used literary muscles now and again. So connections of this sort would mostly be of the before and/or after the act variety, and could even possibly be entirely bereft of any actual sexual RP.)

[ OOC ]

[CALL ME]   Jali, Ghoa, Kjrn.. Just don’t call me weird pet names, basically!

[I AM..]   A 27-year-old woman who works a full time job and plays multiple tabletop games as well as playing FFXIV, so my schedule can be kinda all over the place. I also love cats and really bad puns and writing drabbles that make people’s hearts hurt.

[AVAILABILITY]  Most weekday evenings from 5PM - 10PM Central. Weekends, pretty much whenever. Not available most Wednesdays, and some Thursdays/Saturdays due to various D&D games! Also please note that Kjrn is an alt character. Meaning I won’t be available for RP on her 24/7! Please be sure you’re okay with this before reaching out!

[IN-GAME NAME]  TBD. My cheap ass is waiting on naming conventions!

[SERVER]  Balmung (Crystal), but willing to world-visit for RP!

[PREFERRED RP METHODS]   Discord has quickly become my #1 RP platform because I can post even when I’m busy with something else or when I’m having a slow day at work. I can also do in-game RP, usually so long as we work out a day/time in advance! Sometimes I can do impromptu RP requests, but not often!

[HARD NO’S]  

RP of any sort with real-life minors. Sorry, I just don’t feel comfortable writing with anyone under eighteen! 

Characters that are minors ICly are tentatively fine, but I will absolutely not RP any romantic, sexual, mature, dark, or otherwise questionable themes with such a character;  and likewise, I will not RP with anyone whose minor character engages in this sort of RP with others, either.

Fetishistic characters, i.e. “f*ta”, “tr*p”, etc. Actual transgender, agender, genderfluid, etc. characters are 100% fine, but if your character is written not as a fleshed out person but as thinly veiled ERP-bait, I’m not interested.

OOC Romance or possessiveness or clinginess. Just... don’t. I don’t want to date you. I don’t want to sext with you. I don’t want to be up your butt 24/7, and I sure as hell don’t want you up mine. RP partners with reasonable personal space boundaries only need apply, please!

[ariadventures]

A good friend drove down from Baltimore to come hang with the three of us (Ally, Spider, and I) for the long weekend! It was four days of good fun and hanging out and just such such SUCH a great time. I ironically did and experienced more of the city while we were out with her than I have since I moved here!

It’s been 2.5 months now since I moved. I was talking with Spider about how so much has changed this year in all of our lives. I think since moving, I’ve been more stressed. I have a lot of familial guilt. I feel like I turned my back on my family and thus my only link to my culture. I can’t hear Chinese without wanting to cry. I’m stressed about business and career decisions and financials. I’m especially stressed about going to China next month. Next month the friend will maybe be coming down again, and another friend will be visiting the other two for three weeks. I’ll only catch her at the tail end of that after I’m back from China, and I feel like I’ll be so emotionally messy I don’t know I’ll be good company. And I don’t want to interrupt her visit with any of that! But that’s a lot of complicated feelings I think I’ll work out with a big ole cry on Spider and Ally at some point. If I can bring myself to.

But you know? I mentioned that I was probably more stressed because I had the capacity to be stressed. At home, everything was just awash with grey nothing. It was just the norm. It was just something I resigned myself to. But now that I’m here, even if there’s stressful parts and anxiety and doubt, there’s more color in my life. And I’m stressed, but I’m happier here, I think, or at least better able to work towards that. Here’s to that.

[tiny-personal-university-thing]

How I Went From Academic Probation to the Dean’s List in One Semester

Introduction

So if you haven’t read it and want to understand the full story, I recommend reading this post right here (x) Long story short, while yes, I did have very poor physical and mental health that contributed to my academic probation, I also could have been more organized and overall a better student, and maybe I would have not had the best grades - but still maintained “good standing.” My first two semesters were rough. Then I took two semesters off. When I came back this semester, I was determined to succeed and essentially, I learned how to be the best college student I could be. Albeit, this was also after I regained control over my health. Nonetheless, let’s get into it!

I took some time off from school 

First of all, what helped me the most was taking two semesters off. I won’t lie to any of you. I took this time to see pain management doctors, receive treatment for my 6 bulged discs that contributed to my chronic pain, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and re-learned how to live my life, I got my anxiety disorder under control, and I worked 40+ hours a week serving and bartending to become more financially independent - which helped my anxiety. During this time I also learned to be honest with my support system (advisors, close friends, and family), which also contributed to my success this semester.

I forced myself to use a planner religiously (for about a month) until it became an unbreakable habit

I forced myself to use a planner religiously (about a month) until it became an unbreakable habit. Planners are the biggest tool when becoming more organized. During syllabus week, I took my dad’s advice and wrote down every due date, even if it was TBA. This allowed me to be “ahead of the curve.” I am not taken by surprise by any assignments now. 

Using my planner, I create artificial due dates for myself that are a day or two before the actual, posted due date. This ensures that my assignments are turned in early, or if something goes wrong in submitting them (if online) then I can make my professor/instructor aware of the issue beforehand so that something can be done. Write: “Have X turned in by today!” 

Do your best to also not only stay “on top of” assignments, but also ahead of them. It is better to work ahead and have nothing to do (or due) for the remainder of the week than to be overwhelmed by copious amounts of work and studying.

I took pride in my work

I took pride in my work/notes, and set out to create work/notes that would impress peers (if they saw my work) or impress my professor upon grading my assignments. I specifically set out to “wow” people with what I was creating. This lead me to the studyblr community specifically with my notes.

I emailed my professors literally all the time

I emailed my professors consistently. Even if I had a question that could have waited until the next class - I emailed my professors. They were able to learn my names, and my grades are awesome because of it.

I participated in class 

I participated in class. Not only do I sit in the front of the class because I can’t see (ya girl isn’t good about wearing her glasses) but I also do this because professors “teach to the T” This basically means that professors teach mostly to students who sit in the front row, and students that sit down the aisles. So imagine a classroom, and imagine which desks would make a T-shape. That’s where you want to sit. I also make sure to contribute to class discussions. When you sit up front, you are less inclined to be on your phone or doing miscellaneous things on your laptop. Your eyes will be drawn to your professor, you will feel more compelled to answer their questions, and you will pay better attention. With this being said, I was always the student that had to sit in front because I can’t see, but I was also always the teacher’s pet.

I purchased cool/cute study supplies that made me want to study

Buy materials that make you want to take notes with them. I really like Five Star notebooks. I also really like taking notes with Crayola SuperTips. Create notes that are easy for you to review later. 

Which brings me to my next tip: actually review those notes later. 

Tried and true study apps like Quizlet saved my semester

I utilize study-apps like Quizlet. I know that there are many out there; however, I prefer the tried and true method of good ole Quizlet.

Pay your advisor a visit. They do not judge you!

I make appointments to see my advisors regularly. Advisors can help you if anything begins to go awry. I also made an appointment with the same advisors, so that I didn’t have to re-explain my situation. They never judged me. They can provide you with materials and resources for any issue you’re having. I am always blown away every time I meet with my advisors because they know their jobs so well. 

I sat my butt down and did my work

I didn’t exactly “time block” study time because that doesn’t really work for me. However, when I had time after work or whenever - I sat down at my desk and made time for assignments. I highly recommend the Pomodoro Technique. You set a timer for 15-25 minutes, focus on your work during that time, and then take a 5-10 minute break before continuing. Usually, you will find that you either just want to go ahead and finish up or that you definitely needed a break. 

I created a study space that I love. It is really miscellaneous and not at all what you see on the majority of studyblrs, but it works for me. I love my desk! 

Buy some expos and a white board in addition to using your planner

I use a white board in addition to my planner to write down upcoming dates for the next week/entire month. I use a different color for each class as well as miscellaneous things I need to get done. When I have completed something, I just erase it. 

Treat yo self

I congratulated myself for little victories. 96 on a test? Ice cream for you tonight, babes. 

Figure yourself out as a scholar

I learned how and where I studied best. My two spots are in the library or at my desk in my room. I also seem to study best with someone else around me, like when my boyfriend is playing his video games - that is the perfect time for me to study. Do you study best with zero distractions, or do you like to work with some music on? Do you like background noise from the TV or completely silent? Are you a night owl or a morning bird? Figure out those things first. You can’t force yourself to study at a time when it doesn’t work for you. For example, I am a night owl so I know that evening - night is the best time for me to get to work. 

I learned what ritual worked best for me. Having a cup of coffee while I do my make up, and then ensuring that I was out at the bus stop at least 5 minutes before the bus was scheduled to come, and making sure that I got on the bus that came no later than 30 minutes before my class. Know your routine. What routine works for you? 

The obvious

Go to class. Easiest one. Attendance policies can be brutal. Get to know yours. Sometimes professors also say things in class that gives those who attended the upper hand in some way. 

I started this studyblr! Knowing I wanted to create content here kept me driven to take notes when I didn’t always want to. 

I was honest with myself 

I was honest with myself for my short comings. AP classes in high school were beneficial in many ways, but they really taught me how to underachieve my way to success. I hardly ever studied for anything and bs’ed so many essays, but it worked and I got really good grades. That doesn’t really work in college. 

Non-curriculum based 

I learned to say no. 

I learned to cut people who did not fully support me out of my life. 

I cleaned my apartment and room every weekend. It’s much easier to study when everything is clean.

I made time to go to the grocery store every week. It’s much easier to learn and function when you are well fed. 

I did my best to get some sleep. Your brain needs rest to function its best.

I know it hurts, but check those grades frequently. It isn’t like a credit score, it won’t lower every time you check it

I checked all of my grades at least once a week. I know it can be anxiety-inducing, but you have to know where you are in your classes, especially when April rolls around and you might realize you need to put in a little more work.

I became a point whore

I became a point whore. I took advantage of every extra credit opportunity. Every single one. 

The golden rule

I made up a golden rule: Do not cram for any exam. To do this, I always started studying once my professor mentioned the test OUTSIDE of the syllabus. If you have dropped the ball and the test is a week out - create a study plan. 

Believe in yourself

Lastly, I believed in myself. You cannot do this if you do not believe that you can.

Remember that you can do anything you set your mind to. Start shouldering the burden now by forging good habits. Be honest with yourself. Lastly - dreams don’t work unless you do. I had a lot going on with my health that lead to my grades being terri - yeah they were terrible. But I still was honest about my shortcomings. 

Happy studying, realistic students!

[sylvenfield]

Periel - Journal Entries #1-2

1. Horizons

The hustle and bustle of the Broken Tusk tavern was something I could never explain - the experience was truly something else. I knew it’d be better down in the cleft to get any real jobs, but with mid-summer fire festival going on, even the shadows could come out and play for the week. Patrons drink themselves half to death, some quickly making their exits as they laughed to hardily and decided to make fine art of the small stoop while others sulk in the corners. Like me - casually observing the chaos that’s drowning out the flutist that the bar had hired for entertainment. I watch the Tauren sway side to side, holding the flute awkwardly between her hooves and couldn’t really keep a proper tune. I felt bad for her. The few sober patrons tossed a few copper and silver in her tip jar. 

I wasn’t here to listen to this poor rendition of ‘Spirit Stone’, I came here because the last gig gave up the ghost, and solo gigs just weren’t cutting it anymore. If I wanted to retire away from all this fucking war, I needed to find something fruitful and find it fast. Jin hopped up on the table and curled himself around my forearm, as I still held the half empty glass of gin I had been sipping on for the evening. He chirped and then walked up my arm to go to his nest within the hood of my cloak. His head popped out near my opposite shoulder, with a folded note between his teeth, I grabbed it and looked over my shoulder, scanning the room for who could have wanted to message me, and use my own pet? A restless and annoyed, ‘Hmmm...’ erupted from the edge of my throat, as I carefully unfolded the note. The handwriting was familiar, the cursive script all high-and-mighty - pretentious piece of shit.

P.

You are beginning to test my patience. If I have to wait any longer for this gold to arrive at my office with the recovered documents, then we will have no choice but to put you on our list. You know what happens when we put people on our list. 

We are waiting. We are watching.

-R.

‘Stupid fuc--’ I gripped the glass, knocking the half down, wincing at the cheap booze setting fire to the back of my throat and stomach, as I breathed out a shudder of anxiety. I should have never come to this continent - ‘Oh, the money’s good in Ol’ Orgrimmar!’ - well they lied. Not unless you join a company... ‘Light be damned, I’m really going to have to do this?’ I could feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head. It had been forty years, of ‘my way or the crossroads’ - to have to forgo my freedoms... fuck me sideways. It’s the only way. I’ve already dried up most of my connections back east and south. This was it. End of the road. Onto other horizons.

2. Steelrune

As I exited the tavern I dodged a goblin’s masterpiece on the third step and stretched, the city was far from dull this afternoon. Everything was decorated in vibrant red and yellow banners and braziers still smoldering with hot coals lining every corner of the crowded streets. Tourists fled from every corner so that they could witness the opening ceremonies of the mid-summer fire festival and then flock to the airships to Uldum where vendors, raffles and shows would line the ancient streets. I told myself that I would not be attending. But I knew that I’d be able to find things from this uneasy truce for festivities. War was still in full swing, and yet neutral parties on both sides still could come together with two capitol cities either on fire or decimated in blight. The war did not interest me; that’s why when I filtered through the crowd over to the bounty board to see if any companies were hiring that weren’t directly tied to zealots or ‘honor’.

Pondering the weather worn board as I got side-glanced by a brutish orc, adorned with steel plate and a two handed ax on his back, I threw him a polite smile, not sincere in the slightest before finding a fresh piece of parchment.

Hiring:

Trackers, Archivists, Runic Students, Mercenaries

‘The fighter relies on strength. The scholar relies on knowledge. The wise do not choose.’ 

Steelrune Company

Meet in the hut south-west of Ratchet

My eyes lingered on the word ‘Trackers’ - I felt my insides groan slightly. Fate was a fickle thing - and as fate would have it, my reputation as a tracker was spread wide throughout the Eastern Kingdoms, to those that could find me, that is. If this was my key, then so be it. Jin popped out of my hood looking towards the orc and he grunted towards the sunfur panda looking curiously in the orc’s direction. I nodded politely pursing my lips as I committed the notice to memory making my leave outside the city walls.

Urano, my wolf companion, looked like she needed to run out into the plains, she wasn’t used to being trapped in the stables for days on end, no matter how well they treat her. I took the striped leather reins and flipped a silver piece to the attendant, riding out into the setting sun.

I arrived shortly before dusk, as I hung the reins to Urano onto a nearby tree to the hut in question. As I made my approach up the tiny hill, I could hear the banging of metal and that familiar smell of a forge. I knocked twice casually on the open door frame, as little light illuminated the space, but what I did see was an orc, but not the green kind. This one was not tainted of the same Fel energies his forefathers drank in. He looked up to the door frame with a pointed look, “What do you want?” He spoke gruffly, like I was nuisance ready to be squashed.

In the best presentable voice I could muster - which came out more condescending than I would have hoped, “I heard of a company based out of Ratchet - Steelrune, if I have the name right? You wouldn’t happen ta’ know of ‘em?”

The Orc looked down, banging out the steel plate he was working on, still red hot, I could feel the heat permeating towards the entrance as the spark began to lay at his feet. Once he felt it was ready, he quenched it in the oil, flames licking the sides of the tongs he held onto before looking back up to me, “What is your interest in us, Elf?” His eyes were smoldering as much as the forge at this point, and my poker face was melting from the heat, but I carried on casually, “So, I did find the right place, said on the bounty board you’d be lookin’ for a tracker. Well, I managed ta’ track ya’ down.”

The Orc didn’t seem all that amused by the joke, “Yes. It seems you have. What is your interest in join the company?” I had to think for a moment, I wasn’t sure if lying was going to get me where I needed to be, not like it had in the past. I decided on the truth, without giving too much away. “Mercenary work seems to be only good when you’ve got people by your side, and because.. Well, I normally fly solo you see - I decided, why not? Money’s tight as it is, and the only ways of surviving financially is ta’ join the war, or ta’ be rich already. And I ain’t rich already.”  He scoffed at my jest, still not amused. “We have rules.” He said this as if it were a deterrent, hopefully to get me to leave. I blinked, furrowing my brow, “And I realize that I had ta’ make some compromises going into this, but the pros certainly outweigh the cons.”

He looked at me for a moment, appraising me, Jin popped out of my hood and gave the Orc a quizzical look, “Whose the the rat?” he posed, I gave Jin a chin scratch, “This here, is Jin, he is a panda, not a rat - got em’ damn near close to death in the Dread Wastes, he was most likely the runt of the litter left behind by his family.” I was being sincere with my words, Jin had sought me out, injured and alone with no home. The Orc smiled at the last line, “I have a feeling we will get along just fine.” He set the tongs down by the crucible before approaching me, looking me square in the eyes, “A tracker, you say?” He nodded his head slightly. “I suppose your in. Long as Kelarion approves.” 

I could feel my ears twitch from behind as a Sin’dorei apparated out of thin air, a portal to what looked like a Silvermoon magister’s office was barely visible - I shuddered at the thought, as the long robed, older blood elf waltzed up the hill. His shoulders were made of ethereal scrolls floating in the air, and his eyes still shined in arcane energies. His essence was warm, and his smile was polite as he looked me over, the Orc gestured towards Kelarion, and Kelarion tilted his head in a short bow then turning to face the Orc, “Korrgosh, I hope you are not scaring off any potential recruits.” Korrgosh scoffed again, “This one is the tracker you’ve been looking for. Hopefully he won’t screw up, we’ll need him for the Ashenvale mission.” 

Kelarion looked to me with a stoic look about him, “A tracker by the name of...?” I quickly stopped petting Jin, “Oh, oh right, Periel Sylvenfield. At your service.” I extended my hand and he gingerly took it, “Well I am your Runekeeper, Kelarion Bloodveil, and who you have had the pleasure of meeting is Korrgosh, your Steelmaster. Welcome to the Steelrune Company.”

[thetollofthebells]

repost,  don’t reblog !

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

FULL NAME.      Quasimodo [ surname is technically Frollo, though he has a hard time saying that himself. ] PRONUNCIATION.       Kwah-zee-mow-doh NICKNAME.      Quasi, which he usually prefers from friends. GENDER.       �� Cis male. HEIGHT.     5′2″ when at his normal height, but if he were to stand up completely straight, 5′8″. AGE.    20. ZODIAC.         Capricorn. SPOKEN LANGUAGES.  French, Latin, English, and a bit of written German. [ Frollo was good for something mumble mumble. ]

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

HAIR COLOR.       Red. EYE COLOR.       Green, with a hint of blue. SKIN TONE.        Pale. BODY TYPE.       Burly. Heavily muscled legs and arms, barrel chested but lean abdominal muscle. ACCENT.         French. VOICE.         Light and soft.  Though he does have a stutter when he’s nervous or excited. DOMINANT HAND.         Left hand, though he’s ambidextrous. POSTURE.         Welllllllllll, he ain’t called ‘the Hunchback of Notre Dame’ for nuttin’.  He’s hunched over and pigeon-toed.  Because of the uneven distribution of weight, he walks with a noticeable limp. SCARS.         On his back, some lines are still pink and tender.  Also on his hands, his callouses have bled quite a bit and the tips of his fingers from his carving knife. TATTOOS.        None, he’s Catholic ;] BIRTHMARKS.         None. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).       Oof.  So, of course it’s hard to ignore his physical appearance, his back sticks up due to his spinal column which is twisted up under his shoulder blade.  His left brow is swollen over [ I head canon that it’s actually an issue with his skull, like a piece has fragmented ] and he has large front teeth.  His hands are very large and usually can swallow up any other’s, and his arms and legs are extremely muscular and strong.  Quasimodo does have super beautiful eyes, green when you first look, but some blues when the sun catches them.

Mostly, people notice that despite his immense physical strength, he’s very timid and quiet.  While he has the ability to destroy many things with his hands alone, Quasimodo takes care in that and will usually handle things with great care; ie his carvings.

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !

PLACE OF BIRTH.        Whooooooo knows. HOMETOWN.         Paris, France. BIRTH WEIGHT.         8 1/2 pounds.  He was a dense baby. BIRTH HEIGHT.          15 inches.  Poor thing was very oblong. MANNER OF BIRTH.       Natural, though his biological mother died during his birth. FIRST WORDS.       Frollo never told him what his first words were. SIBLINGS.         None that he knows of. PARENTS.         Claude Frollo, adoptive father [ ish ]. PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT.       Quasimodo was an illegitimate child between a Romani woman and a Scottish nobleman.  During childbirth, his biological mother passed away giving birth to him.  A close friend of his mother’s was terrified that the child would be killed if left to an orphanage so she took him in.  Her and her husband took care of him for a few months as a newborn, but grew worried that something further may be wrong with him besides just his physical appearance.  They attempted to travel to the Court of Miracles for assistance in Paris, but we all know how that went.

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !

OCCUPATION.         Bell ringer of Notre Dame. CURRENT RESIDENCE.          Paris, France. CLOSE FRIENDS.         Esmeralda and Phoebus and the freaking gargoyles. RELATIONSHIP STATUS.        ALWAYS SINGLE PRINGLE  He’s got some upcoming relationships in some threads!  Which I am thrilled about because he’s such a sweet and precious angel.  And there’s Madellaine of course [ @immortalxdreamers we’re gonna have to revive her when you get more comfortable at work <3 ], and of course my OC from my fic. FINANCIAL STATUS.        He’s okay.  The Archdeacon insists on paying him for his services, though he does give a lot of it back to the Church and takes only what he needs for food and sometimes paints. DRIVER’S LICENSE.   OBVIOUSLY NOT.  But in modern verse, Frollo never allowed him to drive. CRIMINAL RECORD.        Clean, other than that whole fiasco that happened is Esmeralda oops. VICES.       None more than any other human.

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.         Demisexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION.         Heteroromantic PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE.       submissive |  dominant |  switch  PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE.       submissive |  dominant  |  switch LIBIDO.       Slightly lower than average. TURN ONS.        Patience, gentleness.  And as much as it horrifies him, praise. TURN OFFS.        Rushing, and as silly as it sounds, too much touching from partner to him. LOVE LANGUAGE.    Quasimodo is never one to initiate affection.  He always lets the other person decide when they want it, but does really like lacing his fingers with someone else.  He’s also really skittish about PDA, but of course, likes to cuddle in private. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.    Once he’s got any type of feelings for someone, he’s steadfast devoted.  He may seem needy/dependent to some, because that’s the only relationship(s) he’s ever really had, but he does it more so out of showing affection than anything.  Also he’s a stage 5 clinger, hello

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.      Out There, of course! HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.       His carving and some glass work.  Quasimodo also really likes to experiment with melted metals, though he usually saves that for patching the bells. MENTAL ILLNESSES.    Depression and anxiety are the biggies that have affected him most of his life, though post-movie, PTSD. PHYSICAL ILLNESSES.       He’s a pretty strong dude, but since he’s spent so much time away from people, when he firsts starts venturing out of the bell tower he was prone to getting colds. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED.       Right-brained. PHOBIAS.     None really. SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.      Lol.  I almost want to leave it at that.  For obvious reasons, the poor boy doesn’t think that he’s worth a damn in any sense, physically or emotionally.  He bases his worth off of what he can do for others and how they are feeling around him.  If someone around him is upset or unhappy, he can’t help but blame himself.  Any compliments he gets, he takes to heart.  Perhaps too much.  Unfortunately, he’s just always going to be dependent on others to make him feel good about himself. VULNERABILITIES.       Quasimodo has a difficult time when it comes to his emotions.  They scare him, and he never really knows how to process them.  There are times when he’s just unbearably sad, gets excited over something incredibly menial, or is blindingly angry.  To be honest, when he saved Esmeralda, he doesn’t even remember breaking through the chains, almost like he didn’t come to until he had her in his arms.  That scares him a lot, because he’s not a angry person by any means, but isn’t sure how to fix that about himself.  His emotions are easily played off of, which was a big reason as to why Frollo had such an easy time manipulating him.

Stolen from: @murroyilodel tagging: I’m not gonna tag anyone because this is a big ol’ hulkin meme that took me hours to fill out.  But if you wanna share some of your back stories DO EET. <3

[adaar-i]

I used to write down my feelings a lot and figured I’d do it again. You don’t gotta read, it’s very long haha but just needed to put it somewhere so. Under a read more because it really is super long and stupid 

Well I’m here again, mid crisis at the ripe ol’ age of twenty seven. My head is all over the place, I’m feeling all sorts of things, all sorts of just…lost. And I thought to myself, what do I usually do when I’m feeling like this? And the answer to that is I used to write. I used to write a lot. I love writing, always have and always will. The sound of my fingers typing rapidly on my keyboard is music to my ears. I would hand write things, but more often than not my hand can’t keep up with my brain, whereas my average 80wpm typing speed is well efficient when it comes to trying to follow my train of thought. I was tempted to go back and edit what I’d written just now, but no. Not allowed. I just have to keep typing and typing until I feel some sort of…I don’t know, closure?

I feel lost. I feel trapped. I still feel like I’m sixteen and I think that’s what terrifies me the most. I haven’t really had the chance to grow up, to ‘become an adult’. What does that even mean? Who knows. I just know that I am not there. I have no clue how taxes work, haven’t had a stable job in…a long time. Still live at home with my parents, my two dogs, my three guinea pigs and three goldfish. Still in the same room, that’s been purple for a while now. Shelves still filled with plushies, fanart, kid things. So many kid things. Are adults allowed to have kid things? I don’t know, that idea plagues me. Am I allowed to be an adult and still have my corner bed, 500 pillows and soft toys to cuddle?

When I think of adults I think of minimalism, white, boring, the dreaded bed in the CENTRE of the wall (HOW IS THAT EVEN COMFORTABLE? DO PEOPLE NOT FALL OUT OF BED?). I think of business people, married people, people with kids, careers, nice clothes. The only thing I have is nice clothes. Can I still be an adult if the walls of my bedroom are bright purple? Or if most of the books I read are YA fiction and not like…self help books? (though I do have a couple of those lying around).

I’ve been trying to do the career thing for years and to no avail it seems. I’ve done two university degrees and do you think they got me anywhere? Not really. Why did no one tell me that employers care more about experience than they do about degrees? Or maybe people did and my stupid anxiety just made things difficult. Yeah alright lets be real it’s probably the anxiety holding me back in everything.

Anxiety about being good enough. That’s the big one. Do I ever feel good enough? Not really. That kinda sucks haha. I have plenty of useful skills, I am a hard worker, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I want to please to no end. But that hasn’t really gotten me anywhere. I’m always stuck. Stuck in the same spot with no clue of what direction to go in. I know where I want to be in the end. I want to have my own home, I want to be married, I want to have kids (biologically and adopted/fostered). I want to rescue animals and live on a farm of some kind. I want to be a successful business owner. I want to be a successful photographer and artist, maybe even a writer. I want to have enough money so I don’t have to worry about not being able to afford things. And I want more money on top of that to help as many people as I can. That’s all I want to do. I want to help. I want to help, I want to be successful, comfortable, and above all else I want to be happy and loved and to love.

So how do I get there? Well I need money. Money is the big issue with me right now. I’ve relied on government payments since I was old enough to start getting them. And there were a few times where I thought I could finally be independent, and they’ve all backfired on me. All of them. I don’t want to be on government payments for the rest of my life. I don’t want to have to depend on anyone other than myself for money. And it’s not like I’m flat broke right now either, I’ve been smart and saved. But when you don’t have a stable income you and everyone around you start to worry. So what do I do? Get a job? Wish it was that easy. I’ve been looking for work for years, and I’ve gotten maybe…two interviews? Oh and it’s not like I haven’t had a job before I’ve had a couple but that was back when I was in high school and just after. Nothing fancy, pizza shop, maccas, and a shopping centre activity stall.

My brain is starting to get tired now. It’s going quiet.

Hmm. Jobs. Right. The one thing everyone keeps bothering me about. I’ve bloody tried guys. “Just get a job to pay the bills” IT’S NOT THAT EASY. I’VE TRIED. You think I want to be like this? That’s why I studied so much. Because no one would give me a chance and hire me. And then I thought, you know what? Fuck it. I’m going to chase my dream. I’m going to get a degree in photography and have my own business and live my dream. And you know, I got the degree, I started the business. I got a couple of clients, got a bit of interest. My love for drawing came back, and I added that to my repertoire. I got commissions. I got bloody patrons, who support me every month. And I thought, you know maybe this could actually work.

But it’s never enough.

I was so excited to do my first artist alley. I had dreamed about doing it for years and years. And I finally did it. And to be honest, it sucked. I mean it also didn’t because I learnt a lot, but when you spend hundreds of dollars, hundreds of hours, so much bloody hard work to get there and to be ready, and you make $66 dollars overall, you kinda think well that didn’t work. Haha. That didn’t work at all. I thought I was good enough, you know? I really did. And you can see the light leave my eyes in the vlog that I made about the whole thing. I am completely and utterly defeated. I had sacrificed so much, I had put SO MUCH WORK, so much. I worked so hard. And right now it feels like it was all for nothing. I was lucky enough to get into a startup business program, which was my savior. I thought that’d help give me the boost I so desperately needed. And again, learnt a lot, got some financial support, but all in all I feel like I wasted so many peoples time and money.

And now I’m back at square one it feels like. Back to the beginning. Where I have no job, no booming business, and a stubbornness to not want to give up, but also feeling so defeated and so god damn depressed. I CRIED AT HARRY POTTER. I’ve seen those movies a hundred times over and I still bawled my eyes out when Cedric died. I’ve never done that before. I even forced myself to watch ‘A Dog’s Purpose’ so that I would cry, thinking that would help. I bawled. Felt a little better, but now I’m back to feeling like a heap of crap. I always come back to this place at some point or another. But this time feels like I just might not be able to get myself out of it. What a scary thought.

When will my time come? When will all my hard work finally pay off? I want to know, and so does everyone else around me. The constant ‘how is your business going?’ ‘oh something will happen’, WHEN? WHEN WILL IT HAPPEN? That’s another thing. What I make is never good enough for anyone. I myself have learnt that money at the end of the day isn’t the end all and be all. Of course people need money to live, but I don’t need that much right now to be comfortable and people just can’t get that into their heads?

I don’t need money. I don’t. But I do. God capitalism sucks. Capitalism can bite my big fat ass. And anyone who ever doubted me can too. Now I’m just mad. I’m mad that all I’ve done is be kind and work hard and it’s gotten me to feeling like shit. So now what? I booked Brisbane Supanova. Might as well kick the dead horse or whatever the saying is. Might as well try once more, and if that doesn’t work than that’s it. I think I’m done. But that’s not until November, and “I need money” between now and then. Blah blah. I hate money. Money can bite me too.

Come on, try and get your thoughts straight.

I’m tired. Yes I know, I’m sad too.  

It’s not time to give up just yet. There’s still a little bit of fire left inside you somewhere. It’s small right now, but it can grow. I’m too stubborn to let it go out completely.

So what do I do now. What do I need to do to make things less shitty?

Find a way to get some sort of stable income. Look for work again (not that I think it’ll work but better try anyway). Work on new art pieces, add new stock to Redbubble, advertise the shit out of your awesome work. Do more free shoots to make a pretty portfolio just in time for Supanova. Sell some personal stuff if needed, we don’t need a lot of the stuff we have. Save those to sell when we really need it.

Go back to the gym. Just move more. I get real sad when I sit at my desk all day. Need to get away from the computer. Go for a walk, go to the beach, whatever it is. Just move. Get those endorphins. Feel good about yourself.

Still fat though.

Probably going to always be fat. That’s fine. Exercise, make healthier food choices. And god dammit stop eating so much sugar. Drink more water. Eat more fruit and not chocolate. Stop bingeing. It ain’t healthy. Alright. I’ll make a list, and I’ll try be healthier again. I do miss going to the gym. It makes me feel strong. I need to feel strong again. I will go back.

Still tying my self worth to what others think of me. Which isn’t ideal. Isn’t great at all. I’m constantly going between ‘ugh I hate everything that I am’, ‘who would ever love me like this’, and FUCK EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T APPRECIATE ME. It’s so constant. It’s so exhausting, knowing that my thoughts are being little bitches and yet I still can’t just…not listen? What is with that.

Oh my god. Can I still be an adult if I have blue hair?!