#and given me ways to light that candle again

[lynxgriffin]

Mightier Than The Sword

Gerson had one regret, but now Alvin has many. A fancomic about my thoughts and theories and who -and what- the Knight is!

While not directly connected, I'd say this one is in the same vein as the Deal With The Devil series! Hope you enjoy!

Alt text for this comic under the read more:

Page 1

Panel 1 - Wide shot of the interior of the Boom household. Several monsters are gathered in a clean-looking hall, dressed in somber clothing and talking quietly in small groups. The monsters include QC, Cat Mom, Toriel, Asgore and Mayor Holiday. Father Alvin stands waiting at a door in the hall as his sister, a red-headed turtle monster in a pink dress, exits through the door and speaks to him. “Alvin…he’s ready for you.”

Panel 2 - Mid shot as Alvin prepares to enter the room. Ms. Boom steps out of the way, and puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Both of them look somber. 

Panel 3 - Alvin enters the room, mostly dark and lit by a few candles on a nearby desk. Gerson Boom is lying on a bed ahead of him, watching him enter. Alvin closes the door behind him and says, “Father, I’m here.”

Panel 4 - Alvin approaches his father, lying in bed. The bedroom has a few amenities, including a footstool set off to the side, a large rug bearing the delta rune, and a massive bookcase filling the entire back wall. A few books and papers litter the ground. Alvin bows his head, and says, “The hammer is ready for…for afterwards.”

Gerson just smiles, and responds, “Wa ha, is it? Well, it’ll do fine, I suppose.”

Panel 5 - Closer shot of Gerson extending his right hand towards Alvin. He’s smiling still, content with where he is. “Come here, son.”

Page 2

Panel 1 - Closeup as Alvin takes his father’s hand in his own, and clasps it tight. “Whatever you need…I’m here,” he says from offscreen.

Panel 2 - Alvin kneels by his father’s bedside, still clasping his hands. Gerson says, “Of course you are. Wa ha…you’re such a good and kind man, Alvin.”

Panel 3 - Closeup on Alvin as he just holds on to his father’s hand. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes. 

Panel 4 - Focus on Gerson as he holds up a hand to conspiratorially whisper to Alvin. “And I know I can trust you with a secret, right?”

Panel 5 - Closeup on Alvin as he looks back up, face earnest. “...Of course.”

Panel 6 - Gerson holds up one finger as he speaks to Alvin. “I told your sister I had no regrets, but that was a BIT of a fib! I’m afraid I have one regret…”

Panel 7 - Side view of Alvin as he learns closer, his face now worried. “Father?...”

Page 3

Panel 1 - Focus on Gerson as he leans back on his pillow, looking up at the ceiling. “I wish I had started earlier. Writing stories, I mean. Seein’ you an’ your sister’s eyes light up whenever I read you a new chapter…and then seeing all that joy from so many young folks after those stories were published!” he says, looking wistful.

Panel 2 - Alvin watches on sadly as Gerson continues, “It was the greatest feeling in the world, Alvin. It’s what life’s all about, y’know. Helping the young folks grow.”

Panel 3 - Gerson closes his eyes and looks back towards the ceiling again, still wistful. “So, I wish I’d started writing stories sooner.”

Panel 4 - Closeup on Alvin as he bows his head, still holding Gerson’s hand. “I truly do cherish those times you read to us, father…” he says.

Panel 5 - Closeup on Gerson as he closes his mind with happy memories. “Me too, Alvin. It’s a shame…I’ve still got so many tales to tell! But–”

Panel 6 - Gerson is interrupted by a round of hacking coughs. His time is fast approaching.

Panel 7 - Gerson settles back in to his bed and says, “The Angel’s given me SO many good, happy years. Doesn’t seem fair to ask for more.”

Panel 8 - Closeup on Alvin as he continues to hold his father’s hand tight. “This doesn’t seem fair, either…” he says, tears still pricking at his eyes.

Page 4

Panel 1 -  Insert closeup of Gerson as he smiles at his son. “That’s life, Alvin!” He doesn’t seem bothered by his imminent passing.

Panel 2 - Side view as Gerson leans in closer to Alvin again, hand raised, back to sharing his secrets. “But, knowin’ my secret…there’s something I’d like to ask of you.”

Alvin faces his father with seriousness. “Anything,” he replies.

Panel 3 - Closeup on Gerson, as he looks hopefully at Alvin. “You have a good heart, Alvin. I want you to know this joy, too.”

Panel 4 - Gerson continues in the next panel: “Please try writin’ stories of your own, alright?” Closeup on Alvin as he looks shocked and a bit worried by the request.

Panel 5 - Mid shot as Alvin holds up a hand to Gerson in protest. He says, “Father, I…I have no talent for writing fiction. Not like YOU.”

Panel 6 - Closeup on Gerson as he refutes his son: “Hogwash! I know you can.”

Panel 7 - Wide shot as Alvin stands up, and looks around the room. “No, I…”

In the foreground, there’s Gerson’s desk, currently showing some lit candles, some paper, an inkwell, a notebook, and his favorite fountain pen.

Page 5

Panel 1 - Closeup as Alvin grabs two objects off of the desk: the small notebook and the fountain pen. Offscreen, he says, “If you just…”

Panel 2 - Back at Gerson’s bedside, Alvin pulls up the footstool and puts the pen and notebook in front of him, intending to use it. He faces his father, and says, “Tell me your ideas, I could write them down, and–”

Gerson interrupts him: “‘Fraid it doesn’t work that way, Alvin!”

Panel 3 - Gerson holds up both of his hands and smiles as he explains: “My tales are between my soul and the pen. You’ll need to make your own.”

Panel 4 - Gerson watches as Alvin, tears in his eyes, looks down at the notebook and pen in hand. “I–I cannot…” Alvin starts, looking despondent.

Panel 5 - Side view of Alvin as tears continue to stream from his eyes. He says, “Not without you!” In the background, in grayscale, there is a scene from Alvin’s memory: Gerson reading a book to his two children by the fire. Gerson looks happy, and both kids are enraptured, with Alvin clinging to a cat doll that looks like Seam.

Panel 6 - Closeup on Gerson, his face now more worried and pleading towards Alvin. Gerson says, “Y-you can… It’s all I ask…”

Panel 7 - Gerson turns away as he’s again interrupted by a round of terrible sounding coughs. Alvin stands holding the notebook and pen in the foreground.

Page 6

Panel 1 - Horror comes over Alvin’s face as his father continues to cough loudly, clutching his chest. He realizes that his father might be close to death now.

Panel 2 - Wider overhead shot as Alvin turns away from Gerson, looking frantically around the room. “No! Not yet!--” he says desperately. Gerson is still racked with coughs.

Panel 3 - Closeup as Alvin grabs the candles from the desk–

Panel 4 - And then pulls a book from the bookshelf, with the delta rune on the front –

Panel 5 - And then finally pulls out what appears to be a beaded rosary, with the delta rune made of beads at the end of it.

Panel 6 - Wider shot as Alvin places the objects in front of him, candles to the side, holy book in front of him. Gerson can only lay there as he does so, trying to catch his breath.

Panel 7 - Front view of Alvin as he clasps his hands together in front of his face, the rosary threaded between his fingers. He closes his eyes and bows his head in prayer. “Angel…Angel above! Please, heed your servant’s prayer!”

Page 7

Panel 1 - Closeup on Alvin as he continues to pray, the candles glowing around him. He keeps his eyes shut even as tears well in them. “I know you call back my father’s soul, but please! Please refrain!”

Panel 2 - Gerson desperately reaches a hand out towards his son, shaking, but unable to reach him. In the foreground, the fountain pen sits on the footstool between them. “A-Alvin…” Gerson’s voice is shaky now.

Panel 3 - Aerial shot as Alvin prays over the book, and Gerson is still confined to the bed, only able to watch. “This world still NEEDS his gifts!” Alvin says. “I pray to you, don’t take them from us now!” The shadows around Alvin start to grow strange, not matching the candlelight.

Panel 4 - Gerson continues to hold out a hand, now not looking well. “No…”

Panel 5 - Closeup on the candles as they spark to life, now glowing stronger.

Panel 6 - A strange bright glow begins to emanate from Gerson. Behind him, the books in the bookcase all rattle and shift as if in a localized earthquake. The colors of the room grow brighter and stranger.

Panel 7 - Still reaching out a desperate hand, Gerson lets out a soft breath. His soul, an upside-down white heart, comes up from his body. On the footstool in the foreground, the fountain pen also begins to levitate, as if by magic.

Page 8

Panel 1 - Front shot of Alvin as he continues to pray desperately, his head bowed and hands together. “Grant us the love shown between his soul and the pen!” Behind him, the colors have grown stark and bright, and a shadow resembling the angel looms behind Alvin.

Panel 2 - Alvin looks up to discover something amazing and terrible: Gerson’s soul has been drawn to the fountain pen, and begins to flow down into it.

Panel 3 - Closeup as Gerson’s soul is completely absorbed into the pen, hovering high over the bed.

Panel 4 - The candles turn strange blue and pink colors, and the books in the bookcase shake and rattle relentlessly.

Panel 5 - Extreme closeup on Alvin’s eyes as he sees this miracle; the light of his father’s soul reflected in his eyes.

Panel 6 - Closeup as the pen suddenly drops, and clatters back on to the footstool.

Panel 7 - Wide aerial shot as the room very suddenly goes completely dark and silent, the bright colors and lights now gone. Alvin stands up and backs away from the bed, still clutching the rosary, his face filled with horror. Gerson now lies unmoving in his bed, having passed away.

Page 9

Panel 1 - The same shot as the first panel of the first page, with the other monsters waiting in the hallway. No one says anything as Alvin emerges from the bedroom, leaning on the door for support, his head bowed. Everyone in the room knows that Gerson has just passed, although they don’t know the rest.

Panel 2 - An establishing shot of the forest and mountains surrounding Hometown…the skies are a dark, gloomy gray.

Panel 3 - Above shot of Gerson’s newly dug grave. At the bottom of a small pit lies Gerson’s hammer, covered in his dust. Politics Bear stands over the grave, holding a shovel. 

Panel 4 - Closeup as the shovel begins to dump dirt over the fresh grave.

Panel 5 - Another closeup of Gerson’s headstone, with bundles of fresh funerary flowers laid in front of it.

Panel 6 - Wide shot of Gerson’s funeral. Alvin stands over his father’s grave, reading last rites from one of his books. Lots of monsters are in attendance, including Alphys and Undyne, Napstablook, the Holiday and Dreemurr families, and more. A very young Kris, Noelle and Asriel are present, but Dess is not. Everyone is dressed in dark mourning attire.

Panel 7 - After the funeral, Toriel approaches Alvin and puts a hand on his shoulder. She says, “Beautifully said, Alvin. I know your father is watching proudly by the side of the Angel.” Alvin looks distant and mournful.

Panel 8 - A closeup of the fountain pen laying forgotten on the desk in Gerson’s room. Gerson is, perhaps, not actually with the Angel right now.

Panel 9 - Back at the funeral, Alvin bows his head, eyes closed. “You are too kind, Toriel,” he says.

Page 10

Panels 1-3 - We see the seasons pass through the changing of the trees…from the barren white trees of winter, to colorful pink blooms for spring, to the bright oranges and reds of fall.

Panel 4 - Sometime much later, Alvin again enters his father’s old room, alone.

Panel 5 - Much of Gerson’s room has remained untouched. The fountain pen still sits on his old writing desk in the foreground. Alvin steps inside, and carefully turns on the overhead light. “It’s been years,” he says.

Panel 6 - Alvin cautiously approaches the pen, which seems to loom large ahead of him. He hesitantly picks it up.

Panel 7 - Alvin places some blank pages on the writing desk. “Surely…”

Panel 8 - Alvin sits in front of the blank pages, still holding the pen cautiously. “Surely by now, I can do it.” He’s going to try writing.

Panel 9 - Closeup as Alvin dips the pen in the inkwell, and it comes away full of ink.

Panel 10 - Closeup as Alvin holds the pen over the blank page. The pen trembles slightly in his grip.

Panel 11 - Alvin tries to put pen to paper, but he’s still trembling. He looks down with great anxiety. “I…I…”

Panel 12 - Closeup on Alvin’s face as he looks more panicked, shaking and sweating. In the background, his memory of his father’s soul being absorbed into the pen plays back at him. This is still his fault.

Panel 13 - Closeup again as Alvin’s hand shakes uncontrollably, and the pen with it. Ink spots begin to dapple the blank page–

Page 11

Panel 1 - Alvin’s shaking hand accidentally knocks over the inkwell, and it spills black ink all over the blank page.

Panel 2 - Alvin picks up the ruined paper and folds it in half to try and stem the ink spillage. He quietly curses to himself. 

Panel 3 - Closeup as Alvin holds his head in his hand. It’s clear that this isn’t going to work. “I can’t…” 

Panel 4 - Closeup as Alvin puts the ink-stained paper back on the desk, and quickly grabs up the pen and inkwell.

Panel 5 - Taking the pen and inkwell, Alvin exits his father’s room again, head bowed and expression sad.

Panel 6 - Left behind, the folded paper slowly peels apart and unfolds…

Panel 7 - To reveal that the spilled ink has created a rorschach ink blot image of a titan. 

Page 12

Panel 1 - Wide shot as Alvin trudges down the streets of Hometown, alone. His head his bowed, and he’s still clutching the articles he took with him. It’s almost nighttime, and the sky is dark. “I cannot bear this kind of burden,” he says to himself.

Panel 2 - Shot from behind Alvin as he approaches the school building. It’s dark, and no students or teachers should be there. “Maybe you belong where you always have…”

Panel 3 - Now indoors, Alvin continues down the empty hallway towards a particular destination. “With the youth.”

Panel 4 - Alvin opens the door to the storage closet at the end of the hall. It opens with a soft creak. “Teaching. Telling stories,” Alvin continues to say to himself.

Panel 5 - Alvin places the fountain pen and inkwell on a small shelf in the storage closet. The closet is almost completely black. 

Panel 6 - The inkwell and pen are left on the shelf as Alvin closes the door behind him. His expression is mournful as he locks these reminders of his father away. “Inspiring someone better suited,” he says, hoping this is a suitable escape of his responsibility.

Page 13

Panel 1 - But in the storage closet, the objects are subject to something else already there: the grand Dark Fountain. The pen, ink and papers all fall into the darkness of the fountain–

Panel 2 - And start to change, the pen seemingly turning into liquid itself–

Panel 3 - As the pen falls deeper and deeper into the dark, the liquid begins to reshape into something new, something resembling a person–

Panel 4 - Until it lands on empty ground, now a person in knight’s armor, knelt over and holding his head in his hands.

Panel 5 - The Knight comes to, and starts to become more aware. He’s dressed in armor resembling the dark metallic sheen of the fountain pen, his mask resembling the pen tip. A bright deep red cape flows from his shoulders, and a single red-orange feather tops the helmet. “Where…am I?”

Panel 6 - The Knight again touches his helmet with both hands, as if not sure exactly what he is.

Panel 7 - Interior shot of the helmet, which reveals a figure much like Gerson…but much younger, more idealized-looking, with colors not matching his actual self. A Dark World interpretation. “WHY am I…?”

Panel 8 - A closeup of the Knight’s hand, slightly trembling.

Panel 9 - The Knight stares down at his own hands as realization begins to flood him, or at least something that looks like realization. “Wait. I see why. I KNOW.” he says.

 Page 14

Panel 1 - The Knight holds up his hand, and a sword appears in it in a flash of lights. The sword resembles the tip of a fountain pen, almost split neatly in two. “I serve the Lightners! That is my purpose!” Says the Knight. 

Panel 2 - The Knight draws the sword back with great fervor and determination. His thoughts echo around him in strong letters: “A purpose so bright, so clear…”

Panel 3 - In the final panel, the Knight drives the sword into the ground, causing an eruption of black ink-like material to spew from the ground…the creation of a new Dark Fountain. In the fountain itself, words reflect his purpose: “I EXIST TO GIVE THEM STORIES FOREVER.”

[lieslab]

If we could only turn back time

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Chan X gn reader

Summary: After a Dispatch article leaks, your betrayed boyfriend kicks you out of your shared apartment and you're silenced in the worst way possible.

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 5.1K

Trigger warning: Misunderstood trope, physical assault, anger, yelling, a car accident, plus graphic descriptions of physical injuries, and doctors/hospitals.

A/N: I had three hours of sad One Direction music, one request, and a dream. Requestee, you asked for angst and I have given it my all. I hope this meets every expectation and more <3

_ _ _

You were the light of Bang Chan’s life. At least, that’s what he thought. For months, his love grew for you. Over time, he opened up more and more. You crawled into his heart and made yourself at home. 

And then you tore it open. 

He thought he finally had the love of his life, but it turns out, you were just like the others. Not really loving him, but dragging along, clinging onto clout, and when the next man came, you jumped with both feet. You didn’t even say goodbye, but neither did he. 

There was no warning for either of you. One day, the two of you were head over heels for each other. The next, everything fell apart. Hearts cracked like stained glass. Tears fell, but the words from both of you didn’t provide the comfort the other so desperately craved. 

In the end, two hearts ripped apart. The world tipped in the wrong direction. You both lost your footing and for weeks, nothing would be the same for either of you, ever again. 

~ ~ ~ 

When you came home from buying groceries, the apartment was quiet, like usual. Chan’s warm presence had been gone since this morning. Up at the crack of dawn, he disappeared to continue making his dreams come true. 

You missed him when he was gone, just as he missed you, but dreams were important. No matter what happened between the two of you, it was the one thing you both agreed that it was important. No matter where your life took you, the most important thing was keeping focused on your dreams. 

Yes, the two of you were in love, but that wasn’t stopping either of you from pursuing your passions. Not yet engaged, the two of you vowed to be supportive of each other. Through thick and thin, in the risky moments, and everything in between; you swore to be there for one another. 

Your bare feet glided across the tile floor with ease. Without Chan, the apartment felt empty, but that didn’t stop you from trying to make it feel warm and fuzzy. Over on the side counter, you turned on the candle warmer. Maybe by the time Chan got home, the apartment would be full of a welcoming vanilla buttercream. 

You swore his cologne had hints of vanilla. He disagreed with you and insisted you didn’t know your scents. Just to prove a point, you bought the vanilla candle, and yet, he refused to see it.

He could be stubborn like that sometimes. Certain things he couldn’t see. No matter how hard and how obvious you attempted to make these things, he refused to see them. Sometimes, it was more frustrating than anything, but you learned to deal with every part of him; the good and the bad. 

You had your own set of flaws, too. Out of everyone existing in the world, there was nobody that you wanted to be with more than Chan. The two of you were still so young. There was a lifetime of adventures and fun to have. You were hoping the relationship between the two of you would last forever. 

It ended when Chan stormed through your front door. The bang of the front door slamming against the sidewall sent your heart racing. You grabbed a can of peas for defense and held your breath. 

Footsteps stormed through your living room. Your fingers turned pale around the can. A sigh of relief fell from you when you saw the furrow on Chan’s face. “Holy shit, you scared the crap out of me. What’s wrong, baby? What happened?” 

You put down the can and walked towards him. Your hands stretched out to grab his face. To your surprise, he swatted them away. Your eyes widen at the faint sting. “What are you-” 

“You don’t get to baby me after what you did!” 

“I-I did something? What did I-” 

“Shut up! You don’t get to pretend like you don’t know! You know I’ve felt like a piece of shit because I can’t be here twenty-four-seven! You know I travel for work and yet you still choose to hurt me in the worst way possible!” 

Confusion filled your face and it just pissed him off more. He jerked his Samsung phone from his pocket. You watched as he typed in the password. Your actions from the past few days rolled through your head like stop-motion. Each silent click, more scenes filled your head. 

None of them stood out. You couldn’t recall what you did wrong, but Chan was furious. Your mouth opened, but words didn’t come out. He flipped the screen to find the bold words of a Dispatch article. Your heart hit the ground with a sickening splat. 

Trouble in paradise: A Rocky Road Ahead For Stray Kids’ Bang Chan’s Romantic Relationship. 

Attached, two photos of you grinning at another JYP idol from another group. In one, you were waving at them. In another, you were leaning over and hugging them. 

“It’s not what it looks like!” 

“Really? Because you know what it looks like to me? It looks like you were attempting to hide a close relationship with someone in a younger group.” 

“That’s not true! Chan, it’s Dispatch! You can’t possibly believe that I-” 

“I want you out of my apartment.” 

Your face fell at his words. “You…you wouldn’t. Please, just let me explain and I-” 

“When have you ever talked about him? Never! You’ve never been close to another idol! Yet now, you’re hugging him?” 

“Chan, please!” 

“Get out!” 

“But-” 

“Out!” His voice raised. “Get your stuff and get the fuck out of my apartment! Don’t bother coming back!” 

The words were loud enough to frighten you. You left the grocery bags scattered on the kitchen island and took off. Tears filled your eyes. You wanted to explain, but he kept cutting you off. 

Too heated to think about the situation, his insecurities got the best of him. In the kitchen, he slumped against the counter with his head in his hands. Warm tears filled his eyes at the sound of your sniffles. 

He wanted to comfort you, but the hurt was too much. He grew to love you with everything he had and within one Dispatch article, his swollen heart popped. How could you do this to him? After everything the two of you had been through, why did you have to ruin it? 

Tears blurred your vision and you didn’t look back. You jerked items from the closet and tossed them in your suitcase. Grabbing handfuls from each of your dresser drawers, you tossed them in with everything. Even the toiletries, you didn’t have time to organize them. 

Chan wanted you to go, so you’d leave. At the end of the day, this was his apartment. You paid rent, but his name was the first on the contract. He paid the down payment, not you. 

You gave him one last desperate look as you passed by, but he didn’t see it. His name fell from your mouth in a weak croak, but he didn’t pull his hands from his eyes. “Please, just go away.” 

You spun around, gripped your suitcase tighter, and then you did. 

~ ~ ~ 

All night, you drove around without a destination in mind. You refused to call one of Chan’s members and plead for help. It’d only stir up drama in the group. That was the last thing you wanted. 

Numbness hung over your head. You still couldn’t believe everything that happened a few hours ago. If he would have listened, he would have understood. The tears dried up a while ago, but the empty feeling in your chest didn’t go away. 

Seoul’s late afternoon crept into another dark night. Gray blotted skies drifted into a pitch black. Neon lights reflected off the paint on your car, but the warm colors didn’t warm your heart. 

The car felt lonely without Chan. You’d give anything to hear his laughter from beside you. The playful banter while he reminded you to turn on the correct turn signal. It’d been a constant inside joke between the two of you. Ever since you accidentally flicked on the wrong signal and turned the wrong way, he’d never let it go. 

The way he tipped his head forward. Messy tendrils of dark hair fell over his forehead. His squeaky laugh warmed your heart. Such a far comparison from the anger that rattled the apartment walls earlier. 

You poked his dimples between the stoplights. On nights when the two of you wanted to get away from everyday life, you found peace in this car. You’d drive and be in control for once. He’d sit beside you with a hand on your thigh. 

Simple conversations filled the car. Love pooled between the two of you. Shared laughter, quiet conversations, and the secret getaway that your car provided you’d do anything to turn back time. 

You loved him for a reason. You always had and you always would. Just because photos told one story, it didn’t mean they told the entire story. Snippets didn’t capture the truth. The context was important, but Chan was too distraught tonight. 

Too stressed out. Too angry. Too frustrated. Things built up and that article was the breaking point. Those photographs became thorns in your relationship. In one day, the roses wilted. Withered petals gathered at your feet. 

Tomorrow would be better, you reassured yourself as you drove. Tomorrow, Chan would realize he was wrong. He jumped the gun in this situation. In the morning, he’d call you and apologize. 

Tomorrow, you’d be welcomed home with a heartfelt apology and a bouquet of fresh flowers. A glass full of red wine, sweets, and a home cooked dinner. Tomorrow, things will be okay again. These tears were temporary. This hurt wouldn’t last forever. 

At a stoplight, you grabbed your phone and dialed Changbin’s number. On speaker phone, you waited and waited, but he didn’t pick up. If anyone would know the truth and be able to rationalize Chan’s brain, it was him. 

The red light from the stoplights highlighted faint tear streaks. You sniffled, wiping your long sleeve across your dripping nose. Your eyes shut and your voice cut out and quivered as you spoke. 

“Please know that I didn’t mean to cause him or you guys any harm. I ran into him the other day and asked if he could help teach me a dance. He’s one of JYP’s best dancers and I know Stray Kids are busy. His group is on break and I just thought I could surprise Chan with a dance.” 

“Saying it out loud, I get that it’s stupid now. I was just hoping it’d cheer him up. He’s been so stressed lately. I thought the least I could do was make him laugh.” 

“If you get a chance and if he’s willing to hear it, please let him know I love him. I love him and I’m sorry. Dispatch is stupid and I hate them. You can even ask that idol and he’ll tell you the same thing. I’m so sorry, Changbin. I’ll talk to you later. I have to find a place to stay tonight.” 

You swallowed the lump in your throat and shut your eyes. After clicking the end call button on your phone, you threw the device into your passenger’s seat. Maybe if you were lucky, Chan would hear out Changbin. Level-headed and rational, you knew Chan appreciated the advice he gave out. 

A car horn honked behind you. Your eyes quickly reopened and the green light stared back at you. Unblinking, you grumbled beneath your breath. “I’m going, I’m going, geez.” You inched out into the intersection, expecting to continue going straight. 

You weren’t expecting your car to jerk left. Your screams blended with the sound of crushing metal. Orange sparks flew. The sickening scent of burnt rubber and diesel hit your nose. Your seatbelt cut into your neck and briefly cut off your air flow. 

The last thing you remembered was the horn of the semi-truck vibrating your entire car. 

~ ~ ~ 

It wasn’t Dispatch that was the first one to find out about the devastating car accident; instead, it was Jeongin. He sucked in a deep breath as he walked into the hospital. Last night, after struggling with the flu, someone admitted his friend to the hospital. 

He mumbled beneath his breath, trying to figure out what to say. A blue medical mask sat over his nose and mouth. He knew to keep his distance, but he still felt awful that they were here. 

Hospitals were lonely. In the brief moments when families and friends disappeared. When the nurses were following their routine rounds and doctors were checking in on other patients, people were left alone. The isolating white walls. The uncomfortable piercing beeps from the heart rate monitor. The cold IV drips, distributing medicine directly into the bloodstream. 

Surgical stitches ached. Disease weighed heavily upon the lungs. Intubation and the mechanical push and pull of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Hospitals were the opposite of warm and welcoming. Cold and sterile, he rather wished his friend was at home. 

The colorful bouquet of multicolored flowers was the brightest thing in the hallway. Closed doors with numbers passed by as he walked. The nurse’s announcement of his friend’s room number echoed in his head. 

It dissipated when he heard your name from a nurse in a cracked room. Before he knew it, he was pushing the door open and stepping inside. On the hospital bed, you were unrecognizable. Scrapes and cuts laced your face. Both plum purple eyes swelled shut.  

The right side of your face puffed up unnaturally. Black stitches poked out from the bottom of your lip. That was just your face. That wasn’t beginning to touch the cast on your arm and the rest of your body hidden beneath the blue covers. 

He knew it was you. He recognized the promise ring on your ring finger. He had helped Chan pick it out. He glanced around, searching for Chan, but he wasn’t there.

“Are you lost?” 

He glanced up to find the nurse. Her blonde hair tied back in a high ponytail. She observed him through black, circular-rimmed glasses. 

He shook his head and repeated your name. The nurse frowned and he pointed to you. “Is this-” 

“Are you family?” 

“Brother.” 

You weren’t biologically related, but it felt true deep down. 

~ ~ ~ 

Changbin tried to bring the situation up to Chan, but every time he spoke your name, Chan would shut down. From what Changbin knew, Chan didn’t know what happened to you. The rest of the guys did, but they all received the same results. Every time they spoke your name, Chan grew irritated and short-tempered. 

“I don’t want to talk about them! Stop bringing them up! Enough!” 

The charming and charismatic leader unraveled at the seams. His heart was full of love for you and you ruined it. That wasn’t something he took lightly. The hurt oozed out in other ways. 

His songs weren’t coming together as easily anymore. He used to get your feedback when he went home, but now the apartment was empty. The bed was colder without you. He was lonely, but he wouldn’t admit it. 

He snapped during dance practice. After he snapped at a manager, a manager lectured him about authority and respecting his elders. Nobody understood the hurt that he was going through. It didn’t help that Dispatch began showing up and bothering him. 

They could take all the pictures they wanted. He’d never give them the satisfaction of breaking his heart. Instead of listening, he put on his airpods and cranked up the music. He shoved through the camera flashes with his baseball hat low and a face mask covering the rest of his face. They didn’t deserve to turn his heartbreak into entertainment. 

He’d never let them break him. They already did it once. You were gone and the longer you went without a call or a text, he assumed they were right. They caught you cheating and you accepted it. You didn’t fight for your relationship. 

You didn’t call and beg for him to take you back. You didn’t call and try to explain. He sent you one text, but you never opened it. He was at a complete loss without you. 

Some would call him stubborn for it, but he’d say that he was just trying to protect himself from more hurt. 

~ ~ ~ 

The lonely days for you didn’t stay lonely for long. Jeongin discovered you hours after your accident. The days slipped by, but you weren’t alone anymore. Unconscious and pumped full of medicine, sure. They were far from lonely. 

Every evening, the guys took turns hanging out beside your bed. Seungmin would sing the songs you liked. Jeongin told you funny stories of Chan, trying to bring you back to consciousness. Minho brought you warm comments from the fans who found out about your accident. The rest of the guys had their own things, but Chan’s voice never filled the room. 

Stuck in a coma, things were dark. Occasionally, you could hear the beeping of your machines. You could feel your lungs expand and compress unnaturally. Your body felt like a shell more than anything. Voices came and went, but never Chan’s. 

In the darkness, you couldn’t see. You weren’t sure if you were dead or not. Stranger’s voices appeared in soft whispers and then they faded. You weren’t sure what was going on, but you knew you were exhausted. 

Those audible voices and sounds never lasted for long. You couldn’t feel pain. Every sensation within you felt numbed. A heavy fog filled your head and something clouded your vision. 

You attempted to open your eyes every so often, but they didn’t budge. Someone glued them shut. Every limb tingled with tiny pins and needles. You didn’t know if this was death, but it didn’t feel comforting. Somewhere between the realm of the living and dead, doctors kept you in a medically induced coma. 

How else could they heal the swelling of your brain? ~ ~ ~  

“I can’t take this anymore!” Felix cried out. He shoved himself from the chair and pulled out his phone. “This is such bullshit! I’m tired of keeping this from him.”

“Well, we’ve tried. What do you propose we do? Tell him to get to the hospital without mentioning his significant other’s name?” Seungmin crossed his arms over his chest. “Good luck. We’ve tried everything and it’s been twenty-something days.” 

“Actually, that’s exactly what we should do. How much longer can this go on for? This is pathetic, even for him! I get that he’s hurt, but look at them!” He reached over and gestured towards your bed. 

You remained intubated and unmoving. The swelling in your puffy eyes faded a little more each day, but they still looked awful. The stitches in your lips disappeared, but a fresh pink scar remained. 

Swirls of purple and blue smeared along your face. Broken bones reset and were on the mend. You were a living miracle. The first responders were afraid you wouldn’t make it, but when they pulled you from the wreckage, you continued breathing. 

So he unlocked his phone and hit Chan’s contact name. 

“Hello?” 

“Chan?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You need to get to the hospital right now. Call me when you get here.” 

“WHAT?” 

“I can’t talk. Just call me when you get here.” 

“Felix!” 

He grimaced and hung up the phone. Seungmin shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You probably gave him a heart attack. He’s going to kill you when he gets here, you know?” 

“That’s a problem for later.” ~ ~ ~ 

Chan flew from his apartment. His heart pounded in his chest and he couldn’t breathe. Losing you was hard enough. If anything happened to a member of his group, he’d never forgive himself. 

“Come on, come on!” He fumbled with his seat belt in one hand. With the other, he swung his car door shut. In seconds, he jerked the car in reverse and slammed the pedal. 

He lurched down the driveway, spun the wheel with a rubbered squeal, and shifted the car into drive. The engine roared and he sped down the road. 

What-ifs grew stronger on the way to the hospital. His breath caught in his throat and he struggled to stay calm. Last he knew, everyone was fine so what happened? Who? How bad was it? 

The moment he parked, he whipped out his phone and dialed Felix’s number. When Felix responded, his voice came out frantic. “I’m here! Where are you?” 

“Room one-twelve. I’ll meet you half-way. I’ll see you soon.” 

“Wait, who is-” 

Click. 

“Fucking hell!” He cried out. He grabbed the keys, sped from the car, and rushed towards the automatic door. 

Everything was a blur inside. Voices appeared from the waiting room. The receptionist glanced over the front desk and eyed him, but she didn’t stop him. He glanced left and right and opted to go left. 

The carpet disappeared beneath his feet and turned into squeaky clean white vinyl. An easy material to clean and disinfect daily. He rushed forward when he saw Felix appear down the edge of the hall. 

The squeak of his shoes didn’t matter. He ignored the doctor he passed that told him to stop running. By the time he reached Felix, he grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer. “Who is it? What happened? Tell me!” 

“Just, come on.” 

“Felix!” 

Felix didn’t budge. He grabbed Chan’s wrist and pulled him along. His chest filled with anxiety and his lungs compressed. When the pair appeared at the right door, Felix dropped his wrist and slowly pushed the door open. 

He expected to find Han or Jeongin. A broken and battered Hyunjin or Changbin hooked to oxygen. This was the intensive care unit. This was for the severe cases. The patients that required a close eye and keen detailing. 

Upon seeing you, his face fell. The bruising upon your face. The tube down your throat. Your lifeless skin and unmoving limbs. There was no sign of the life the two of you created. 

No reassuring smiles, or laughter. Seungmin sat solemnly beside your bed in a chair. “I’m shocked that you finally made it.” 

“What the hell happened?” He hurried to the opposite side of your bed. His hand reached out, but he didn’t touch you. Too frightened by your state, he didn’t know where he could touch without causing you pain. 

“Try their hand,” an unfamiliar voice spoke up. He whirled around to find a nurse in blue scrubs. “Their hands survived the crash. You can touch their hands if you wish.” 

“Sorry, I came in to get some vitals. It’ll only be a few moments and then I can leave you alone. Visiting hours are open until eleven o’clock tonight. I’ve never seen you here before, so I thought you should know.” 

“How long have they been like this?” He whispered. Tears filled his eyes and his heart ached. 

“Since the night you told them to leave your apartment.” 

“What?” 

“Felix!” Seungmin’s voice shot out sternly. “It’s not like that, Chan. Yes, the accident happened that night, but don’t beat yourself up over it. A driver of a semi-truck was speeding and couldn’t stop in time.” 

“That was nearly a-” 

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Felix’s hand appeared on his shoulder. “We tried to tell you, but every time we tried to utter their name, you were angry. We should have found a better way to tell you, but…” He trailed off, unsure of what else to say. 

The nurse grabbed your vitals and disappeared to give the guys time with you. Chan collapsed to his knees and grabbed your hand with both of his. For nearly a month, you’d been stuck in this bed. He thought you’d given up on the relationship with him. 

This entire time you haven't texted him back. Not because you were angry. Not because you were sad. Not because Dispatch’s rumors were true. But it was because you physically couldn’t. Intubated and trapped in a medically induced coma, you couldn’t reach out, even if you wanted to. 

“I’m so sorry,” he croaked. “I’m so sorry, I-I thought that they-” 

“Easy, hyung.” 

“What did I do? What the fuck did I do? If I wouldn’t have kicked them out of the apartment, this wouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have been so angry. I should have let them explain.” 

Seungmin shot Felix a look. He shrugged and gently rubbed Chan’s shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Channie. You were hurting and you didn’t mean for this to happen.” 

He was supposed to be the leader. A strong pillar and an even stronger influence on his younger members. As the eldest member, he was supposed to be reliable. At that moment, he crumbled. Tears appeared in his eyes as a sob broke from his chest. 

No wonder you had been so quiet. He called you once and hit your voicemail. He longed to hit the call button, just so he could hear your voice again. He squeezed your hand tighter and pressed it against his cheek. 

“Wake up. Wake up, baby, please! Come back to me. I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I'm so sorry!” 

Tears blurred his vision. He struggled to comprehend your mangled face. Your other hand sat wrapped in a cast. You must have been so broken when you arrived here. He wasn’t here to comfort you. He wasn’t here to try and console and cheer you up. 

A wheeze fell from his throat. The betrayal slicing through his heart disappeared. This time, he felt like he was the one that had betrayed you. He hurt you in the most unimaginable way possible. 

You laid here broken and half-dead. You spent hours fighting for your life alone. And where was he? Walking around your shared apartment drowning in his own self-pity. He’d never forgive himself for this. 

“What is this?” He finally whispered after his sobs faded away. His throat was raw. His voice came out scratchy. “How bad is it?” 

“The doctor said they should wake up at any time. They weren’t breathing on their own. A medically induced coma ensured to make sure their brain’s swelling could stop.” 

“It was that bad? They’ve been suffering through all that alone?” His bottom lip quivered. He grew afraid of the response he’d receive. 

“No,” Seungmin spoke up. “Jeongin found out first. He was the one that notified us. He said he tried to tell you, but when he showed up at your apartment, you told him to leave.” 

Horror filled Chan at the memory. Later that same night, back when you left, Jeongin appeared on his front porch pale. Instead of hearing out the younger member, he told him to get lost and slammed the door in his face. Deep down, he was afraid to be viewed as weak in front of the younger member. 

The memory stung his heart. Poor Jeongin just wanted him to know the truth and he slammed the door in his face. No wonder Jeongin seemed so nervous around him. He was probably worried that Chan would find out the truth and yell at him for not telling him. 

He rubbed his face and pawed at his eyes. “So does everyone know?” 

“Everyone besides you.” 

“Sorry you’re late. None of us knew how to get you here. You’d never listen when we tried to talk about them.” 

“I was such a stupid, selfish asshole.” 

“You were hurting,” Felix corrected him. 

“And a stupid, selfish asshole.” 

“You were.” 

“Seungmin!” Felix cried. 

“No, I want him to know that he was. I’m not going to sit here and pity him. You were a jerk, Chan. I hope you remember this moment whenever you try to act like an asshole again.” 

The words were a slap in the face, and yet he wanted to laugh. As harsh as Seungmin’s words were, they rang true. He was a jerk and maybe, in the cruelest way possible, this was his karma. 

He opened his mouth to respond, but paused when your fingernails scratched at his hand. The tube in your throat caused you to choke. You couldn’t fully see as your eyes half-opened. Still swollen, your vision remained limited. Silhouettes appeared and voices became more distinct. 

“Get a nurse!” 

Footsteps hit the ground. You gargled and reached your opened mouth. “No, no, no! You can’t touch that yet.” 

“Easy, love. Try to relax and don’t fight the tube. It’s breathing for you right now.” 

The distress and quickened-pace of the heart rate monitor hit a hiccup. Chan’s familiar voice grounded you, but you still struggled with the tube. Your lungs wanted to expand, but the machine compressed them. You choked again, still fighting the pesky thing. 

More footsteps. Another silhouette. Glasses on an unfamiliar face and latex rubbing against your skin. “It’s okay, you’re safe. I’m going to take this out now, okay? On the count of three. One, two, three!” 

You gasped and coughed at the removal. Your lungs filled with air of your own accord. More coughing. You attempted to swallow, but your mouth was so dry. The lingering phantom of a headache filled the side of your head. 

“Try a sip of this, sweetheart.” 

The nurse’s tone was honey to your ears. You swallowed the water the moment it hit your lips. One swallow and then another. Two more and suddenly, you were gulping like crazy. 

“Easy, or you’ll choke,” Chan gently reminded you. 

The nurse pulled the glass away when you finished. “Do you know where you are?” 

“Hospital?” 

“Do you remember your name?” 

“Chan?” 

“I’m right here, honey. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. Do you remember your name? This nice nurse wants to help you get better. Your doctor is on his way.” 

Every question asked, you answered it perfectly. A buzz of excitement swirled around the room from your consciousness. Seungmin and Felix left the room to give everyone the good news. 

When the doctor concluded you were stable, he disappeared with the nurse. A silence fell between you and Chan. You still couldn’t see perfectly, but you could feel the weight of his hand in yours. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry for that night.” 

“I don’t want to talk about that night.” 

“I was an idiot.” 

“Dumbass,” you weakly corrected him. 

“I see getting hit by a semi-truck hasn’t taken away your sass.” 

“If I can survive this, I can survive anything.” 

“I love you and I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, I love you and I don’t want to hear anything else about that. I’m so tired. Can you sing me to sleep or something?” 

“If I do, promise you won’t die?” 

“I promise.” 

Even if you couldn’t make out his face, you knew his voice, and that was good enough for you. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lia-linny @seungnishi @stellasays45 @emilyywhyy @rockstarkkami @flightlessackerman @danihwang882 @inlovewithstraykids @velvetmoonlght

Masterlist

Taglist and inbox rules

Ko-fi

[nikibogwater]

Actually while I'm thinking about it, I just wanna say that the more live-action remakes Disney shlups out like shoveled manure, the more amazed I am that Cinderella (2015) exists. It breaks literally every standard of Disney's LA remakes.

It's not a shot-for-shot remake of the original 1950 animated film, though it does include small references and homages to it, but only when such things can be incorporated organically into the story.

The creators understood and respected the cross-cultural significance of the Cinderella story. They didn't want to "fix" it, or add some wacky twist to it, they just wanted to make the best possible version of the Quintessential Cinderella that they could.

Everything that could be done practically was done practically. The carriage was a real, the horses pulling it were real, and all of the other animals (with the exception of the mice and lizards, since their performance was a lot more involved than the others') were real living animals, the lizard footman and goose carriage driver were wearing prosthetics instead of just having their animal features added in post, the Fairy Godmother's dress had little LED lights sewn into it so that it would actually glow for real, the ballroom set was built by hand and included real chandeliers with more than 2000 total candles that were all actually lit for the scene, and I could go on but you get the point.

There's a ton of attention paid to little details that make the world feel real and lived in. Ella's shoes are always a little scuffed and dirty. Her farm dress is faded and wrinkled. When she breaks down and runs away to the woods, she rides her horse bareback (which, once again, was a thing Lily James actually did, no stunt-double or editing in post), because not only is that something a country girl like her would know how to do, but it also makes sense that with as upset as she is, she wouldn't want to waste time with saddling the horse. When she's dancing with the prince, it's visually obvious that he is leading her and giving her cues because of course Ella wouldn't know the latest ballroom dances, and would need him to guide her through it.

Hey speaking of dancing, y'know what else this movie does that no other LA remake has been allowed to do (at least not to this extent)? ROMANCE. Land sakes alive, this is one of the most unabashedly and yet still tastefully romantic movies I've ever seen. Ella and Kit are just oozing romantic chemistry from the moment they lock eyes for the first time. It all comes down to the fact that these two characters both have the same core values of courage and kindness, which makes their admiration for each other feel grounded and believable. Richard Madden also really sells Kit's feelings for Ella with the way his eyes go all big and soft whenever he looks at her. And don't even get me started on Lily's performance as Ella. Her quiet awe that someone as powerful as the prince loves her. The timidity and fear that she's not really worthy of that. The selfless determination to protect him from her family's cruelty, even if it means she'll never see him again, I'm just-- *banging my fist against the table and screaming into a pillow*

Absolutely god-tier costume design. No notes, I think Sandy Powell's work speaks for itself. Btw, in case you were somehow still wondering, yes, Ella's ballgown is fully practical--those layers upon layers of dreamy silk skirts are real. CG was only used to brighten up the blue color to make her stand out from the crowd more.

Wicked stepmother was allowed to actually be wicked. The movie never tries to make you sympathize with Lady Tremaine, or shift the blame off to someone else. And her villainy is given an extra layer of depth with the reveal that she is a dark reflection of Ella. They've both lost people they loved, but where Ella refused to let her grief get in the way of kindness, Lady Tremaine became utterly consumed by it. She views the death of her first husband as a sort of twisted justification for pursuing all her worst impulses. She despises Ella for her ability to flourish even while enduring terrible suffering, for being everything Lady Tremaine was either unable or flat-out refused to be.

Also Cate Blanchet absolutely SLAYS in this role. Hands-down my favorite portrayal of the wicked stepmother character.

Anyways, TLDR: Cinderella (2015) is the only Disney live-action remake that can justify its own existence and that's because it actively defies everything the LA remakes are today.

[bueckersbitch]

i'm still waitin' at the green light. to tell you what i feel like, but i can't go.

greenlight - paige bueckers x reader

☆ warnings : angst, sexual context, toxic!paige

☆ word count : 1.7k

☆ authors note : hi guys! a quick fic bc i loveeee tates new album, the last bit is inspired by her explaination of green light! part two out now!

☆ taglist : @sierrale8ne @thaatdigitaldiary @pboogerswbb @lupinqs @rosemariiaa @xxloveralways14 @lovegalor333 @mrsarnold @janaelalfysblunt @bueckersfive @vamptizm

The door knob slowly pushes down, almost mocking the way your heart dropped when receiving the text, “I’ve been thinking, we need to talk.” The message wasn’t unexpected; in fact, you had been counting on receiving it after the last couple of weeks between you and Paige. Part of you still wanted it to be your overthinking getting the best of you again, a figment of your imagination trying to self-sabotage you, yet, it was something deeper: the way Paige’s demeanor changed in what felt like an instant, her loving, comforting words turning quickly into scowls of defense when you confronted her about her passive attitude towards your feelings. The doorknob seems to lag, separating the relationship between you two into two: before the conversation that was about to change your relationship, and after.

Her face is revealed after a moment; her normally perfect, slick-back bun is disheveled a bit; however, her face was numb, lacking any emotion. Her sock-clad feet slowly shuffled back when opening the door, silently urging you to step into her apartment, the one you had helped decorate when she had moved to Dallas. Your eyes flicker up to meet her cold, blue ones; her lips become tightly bound, letting out a sigh. You pick at your hangnails that had accumulated unwillingly after your thoughts about everything concerning you two swarmed your mind over the past couple of nights. You step inside, noticing the lack of the feeling of home: candles remaining unlit, tv that usually had a game on left dark, and the vase that rests on the center of her kitchen island, but instead of having purple irises gifted by you—Paige’s favorite flowers—it was clear, water even being drained since the last time you had given them to the blonde, when you were both happy. 

Paige doesn’t say a word, picking up the tv remote and turning on a game. Crashing to the couch, her fixed stare on the tv felt like a punch to the gut. Paige was good at communicating, something you admired even in the early stages of your relationship. The lump in your throat started to grow. Had she changed so much to the point she felt like she couldn’t tell you what she was feeling? “Are you serious?” You questioned, voice shaking a bit. Paige hummed in response, eyes still glued to the tv, making you feel like an afterthought, unimportant. “I didn’t drive half an hour for you to not tell me what you want.” You said, leaning on the kitchen island, tears starting to well now. “I thought it was obvious. We aren’t working, baby.” A tear fell from your eye now, taking your makeup with it to your neck. You knew that, you knew something wasn’t working, but what shocked you was Paige’s lack of effort to try and fix what was wrong. “Tell me what’s not working then, because I feel like recently whenever I try to get to you, what you’re thinking, you feel like I’m a nuisance.” It was different. You leading the conversation about talking about feelings, emotions were something you encouraged yourself to suppress. “I don’t wanna tell you though.” Paige says, resting her elbows on her knees as she turns her head with minimal effort to look at you. Confusion jolts through you, apparently evident on your face through your eyebrows and slight stutter of the start of a sentence beginning with “W-w-wha-” Paige rolls her eyes, cutting you off with, “Don’t you get it? I’m tired. I don’t wanna tell you because I don’t think I wanna fix us.” Your heart really drops, feeling heavy with the weight of her words shutting you down. “Do you hear yourself? Did the past four years mean nothing to you?” Paige scoffs, nodding her head as it dips between her shoulders, “You know it did. I just feel like I’ve grown. I’m not the injured girl you met in sophomore year anymore.” The mention of how you met tugging at your heart strings.

-

Four years ago

The lecture to your psychology class had finally ended, meaning it was time for a nice Friday out  with your girls. You gathered your stuff, placing your iPad in your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. Pulling your phone out, you start scrolling through the notifications of ideas for what you guys should do tonight. You walk through the tiled hall, a little too quickly it seems, because you brush past someone, hearing them grunt in annoyance. You whip your head around, to a tall blonde. You had heard about her injury, watched it happen even, how she was projected to be out for six to eight weeks. Her words sliced through your thoughts, “I miss when I could walk mindlessly.” Your eyes widened, baffled at your ignorance to your surroundings. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry-” Paige laughs. “I’m just teasing you. What’s got you rushing to get back though?” You let out an exhale of relief, smiling while telling the girl your plans for the night. Conversation ending with you carrying her stuff for her while walking her back to her apartment. Impulsive thoughts overcoming you, word vomit producing a, “You should totally come!”

-

Present

“Trust me, I know,” you manage to say through a facade. Paige’s brows furrow now. “What’s that ‘supposed to mean?” You exhale, similarly to how you had all those years ago, but this time, it was to brace yourself for what you were about to say. “I mean the Paige I knew back then, fuck, even a month ago, wouldn’t push aside my feelings like it’s something that’s optional in her life!” She leans back again, seemingly unphased by your confession. “I’m not about to pour my heart into something you don’t deserve.” Your mind was clouded now, something you didn’t deserve? If there was the bare minimum of what you deserved, it was an explanation, a reason why your soulmate had turned into someone that looked at you like a burden. “I’m just standing here trying to understand what you want from me, because I’ve tried, Paige, I really have, but it’s obvious that you think I don’t deserve a basic explanation as to why you’ve just shut me out.” You try to reason with her, not ready to accept the truth of what could happen. “I don’t want anything anymore. I don’t know why I gotta spell that shit out for you.” There it was, the admission that had you in a grasp of anxiousness. “So what?” Still finding it hard to accept that your loving, communicative Paige was acting this way, “So, it’s done.” 

Her words rang through your head like a stupid song you couldn’t get out of your head. Your keys gripped so hard in your hand they started to leave indents. Your hood was pulled up over your head, trying to avoid the receptionist that would greet you after the long journey of the elevator, plummeting like your heart had. You push through the revolving door, out into the soft water of the rain, almost like the universe was sad for you. Flinging yourself into your car, you start to drive back to your apartment in silence. You roll to a stop at a red light, finally letting yourself break down in the comfort of your own car.

-

Three months later

The delicate notification rang through your ears again, light turning green as you pushed on the gas. It had chimed a couple of times now, a specific notification sound you had only reserved for a certain blonde. You forgot you even did that, changing the setting when you were so young and lovestruck. Sure, the sound surprised you a week ago when you heard it for the first time in three months, but now? It was almost background noise to your daily tasks. She tried to work her way back, endless texts and voicemails that had her saying “I fucked up” and “Please talk to me, ma” and other things of the sorts. You would’ve gone running straight into her arms had it not been for what you found out. Another girl. One she felt so taken aback by that she felt the need to shut you out, to break up with you. You wanted to make sure she lived with the consequence of losing you. So now, you were on your way out to a restaurant, your therapist encouraging you to get back out into the dating scene again. Skylar, was her name. 

You sat across from the brunette girl, smiling with her as you both talked about your families. It felt nice, feeling like your presence was wanted. A voice rang through your ears, one that was too familiar, one that you had heard every day straight for four years. There she was, talking and laughing with her Wings teammates as she looked over the menu.

You broke. Something about having such a deep history with her coaxing you back to her, pressed up against the very door you had slammed shut in anger a few months ago. Her hands gripping your waist as she confessed how her admiration for you had never left, “Missed you so bad, you’re the only one for me.” Hands trailing past your waistband, finding the pool of arousal that awaited her.

She sweetly talked you back into her bed, but even after pulling three orgasms from you, you couldn’t shake the feeling of what you had found out she had been hiding from you. So, you found your clothes, taking in the way her wavy blonde hair framed her sleeping face, before slipping away in the middle of the night, attempting to avoid the start of a toxic back and forth.

-

One week later

The post sat unliked in your feed, taking a second to take it in. Paige’s new girlfriend. The girl she left you for, the one she was still seeing a week ago when she was fucking you. 

You were shielding your phone from Skylar. Of course, you tried to move on, but a part of you still believed you would get her back, your Paige back. It was wrong, and everyone around you told you to move on. Paige sure had. “Babe?” You quickly locked your phone, looking at your date in the passenger seat of your car. “You were so invested in your phone that you fully sat through that entire green light.” She laughed. You forced a fake laugh, suppressing the solemn feeling that the universe was mocking you through the situation. You sitting still at a green light, while the light is telling you it’s okay to go, is like everybody around you saying it’s okay to move on from Paige, but it still feels impossible.

[yosuk-e]

how they show affection ft. miya atsumu, suna rintaro, miya osamu, oikawa tooru, akaashi keiji

a/n: something small once again before i an finally focus on writing longer content : ) exams are almost over and i'm so glad to be nearly donneeeee.

cw: none really just fluffy ways some of the haikyuu boys show their love for you.

miya atsumu

massive bear hugs. tightest hugs imaginable, especially after a really long, tiring day, when all he wants is to be near you and feeling your skin on his.

buys you your favourite drinks every morning, despite seeming like the kind of guy to regularly wake up at noon when he has a day off. he'll instead get up earlier than you, scurry his way out of your shared home and grab whatever you prefer, then naturally, wake you up by peppering your face with kisses.

suna rintaro

might not seem outwardly emotional or expressive. he isn't. does that stop him from doing the little things that show just how much he cherishes you? nope.

instead of being open and loud about his emotions i think suna prefers to show his love for you through something quieter... like journaling. he'll make a journal to record your dates together, and another one which serves like a junk journal of all your shared items, like tea bags and receipts.

actually does it really well and has a good eye for composition. strikes me as the kind of guy who's good with calligraphy?

miya osamu

i think this is a given, but osamu loves cooking for you (duh)

it's the thought which he puts into his cooking, though, that makes it stand out. it's the little date nights in your small apartment with dimmed lights and candles on a dining table, with fine tableware and a bouquet filled vase. it's the effort of creating an experience for you, all with his own hands, in your own home. more than just a meal.

oikawa tooru

buys you charms and souvenirs from abroad. i am also a firm believer (for an unknown reason?) of the idea that oikawa tooru is the kind of boyfriend who orders you a louise-carmen roadbook journal with your first names engraved on it. also a firm believer of the idea that he spontaneously plans trips abroad for you two.

absolutely 100% for sure totally goes shopping with you and doesn't mind that it takes hours because all he really cares for is to see you twirl in a pretty dress or get excited over some pants you've been dying to buy. entirely convinced that he actually does the shopping for you sometimes (especially when it comes to vintage heels)

akaashi keiji

writes you poems frequently. the kind of man to wake up at 5am without and alarm to do so. writes endlessly about your grace, elegance, beauty, how enamored he is with you.

i feel like he's the type of man to buy you an espresso machine? like randomly, entirely unexpectedly, he comes back from work with a "little gift" that was actually a not so little espresso machine because "i know you like coffee, honey, so i thought why not just have you make it for yourself instead of spending 10$ on it every day?"

a/n: i hope you guys enjoyed this lol i personally think all of these are so cute. they may seem entirely random for some people but i just feel like they match pretty well. i'll be back soon with longer form content such as the summer atsumu-centered fic series i'm planning titled "project summer" : ) also i hope you guys know this has not been proof read at all lol so if you see any mistakes.. ignore them... please....

[no-144444]

always does- i.hadjar

꩜summary: as isack's best friend, you're a little oblivious until you're not

꩜pairing: isack hadjar x fem! reader

You never understood why Isack kept you so close-by (in a metaphorical sense, of course). You were his best friend, yeah. You didn’t wander away from him, even when he moved. You just… worked through the distance and the time differences, and you were as strong as before. You didn’t pull away too much when he had a girlfriend and you didn’t expect him to pull away too much when you got a boyfriend. When you guys were together, you were there to be together in whatever you were doing. It didn’t matter if it was a simple walk, or a day out at a theme park, time together was few and far between, so you had to make it count. Your other friends stepped back for the day, Isack stood or sat by your side, his hand brushing yours until he eventually took it. And you’d stay like that. Sleep in the same bed. Make morning coffee together. Brush your teeth together. Domestic shit, but it didn’t matter. Isack and you weren’t like that, you never would be. 

Obviously, you knew he was hot. Anyone with eyes and a brain saw the fact that he was conventionally attractive. But you never had that switch in your mind that your other friends had with their guy friends. They spoke about it like some day they just started seeing them differently. Like it was quick. Like it was a snap of fingers, and suddenly you're in love with him. It wasn’t the same for you. Isack was just… Isack. Your Isack. The Isack who bought you ice cream and held your hand walking down the streets of Venice, and that same Isack who would push you into the bushes in his back garden when you raced each other. He hadn’t changed much, just got taller, his voice got deeper, and he was an F1 driver. You hadn’t changed much either, ass and tits, hair longer than when you were five, and you finally didn’t work on the other side of the world, you were in Paris and he was in Monaco. 

“Come to Monaco,” he begged over the phone. “I’m so bored on my own and it’s so weird here.”

“I literally told you so, Isack,” you chuckled. “And anyway, I’ve a date this weekend, so I’m busy.”

He stopped. “A date? Like with a guy?” he asked. “Why do you have a date?”

You scoffed. “Wow, thanks. And it’s just this guy who asked for my number at work. He’s sweet.” 

“Seriously?” he scoffed. You didn’t notice the way his chest tightened and his jaw clenched. You didn’t see the way his breath hitched. “Just reschedule, please. I want you here.”

A younger you would’ve given in with the way he pouted, but you had a date. A date you wanted to attend. “No can-do pretty boy,” you shook your head, and he nearly passed out from the pet name. You didn’t see it, but caught a glimpse of the time. “Oh shit, I better go. Work,” you sighed, getting up. You didn’t wait for an answer. “Love you,” you smiled into your phone camera and hung up, knowing he'd say it back. 

“You’re so fucked for her, aren’t you?” Liam chuckled, sitting beside Isack. It pulled him out of the small world he created on the phone with you. When he saw your apartment, he just thought of the nights he spent there, the smell of the vanilla candles, the warm lights, the wool blankets, you. Isack groaned, putting his phone back into his pocket and looking at his hands. He didn’t like to talk about it. He didn’t really know what to say about it. “Talk,” Liam shrugged. “What’s going on?” “Nothing,” he shrugged. “That’s the problem.” 

“She doesn’t like you back?” he asked, cracking open a can of redbull and handing it to him, then opening one for himself. 

He sighed. “She doesn’t. She doesn’t notice me. I’m just her best friend.” 

“Have you talked to her about it?” Liam asked. 

“How am I supposed to admit something like that?” he questioned. “What if she hates me and doesn’t ever want to talk to me again? What if I lose her completely?”

It was his worst fear. More scary than crashing the car, than losing his seat, than anything. He couldn’t lose you. He refused. 

“I think you need to evaluate what you want and whether or not you can keep going like this,” Liam offered. “And I’m happy to listen more, if you need it.” 

Since when was Liam so philosophical? He listened to Zach Bryan for god’s sake. He got up, tapped Isack on the shoulder, and left him to ruminate. 

He remembered the exact moment he’d fallen for you. You were 15. You had come to visit him at Spa for one of his F4 races, and he’d won. He ran out of the car. You were waiting at the barrier. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you. You stood there, looking so proud, so caring, so you. He couldn’t get enough. He’d race the hell out of any car anyone handed him if it meant he saw that look on your face. And you’d hugged him. You’d kissed his cheek. You stayed up all night celebrating and fell asleep beside him. You didn’t question the way he was looking at you, because maybe he’d always looked at you like that. Maybe it was just him realising then.

But you didn’t feel the same, and that was fine. He didn’t care. Well, he cared a lot, but he wasn’t going to make it your problem. 

Quali was long and which was good and bad. Good, because it meant he was starting 4th in Monaco, which was incredible. Bad, because it meant he didn’t have his phone on him to track your location and watch your date play out in real time. Which is a totally normal thing to do, right?

He jumped out of the car, searching for Liam, or Ollie, or someone to talk to about how shitty the tires would be the next day, but he turned his head to the left and caught a glimpse of a face he knew all too well. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” he practically squealed. Ollie would have laughed, but he didn’t care. He wrapped his arm around your waist, lifting you up and against him. “Holy shit,” he breathed into your hair. Like he didn’t believe you were real. Like he couldn’t trust his senses. 

And it was like your eyes opened. 

You liked sleeping in the same bed as Isack. You like brushing your teeth beside him. You like the way he treats you. You liked the way he had kissed you on your 18th birthday when you were both wine drunk in Paris, walking along the river. 

You froze for a moment. You didn’t let him go. He didn’t seem to care, though he untucked his head from your neck and stared at you, confused. “Are you alright?” he asked, his face changing to panic. “Y/n.”

“You’re incredible!” you shook yourself back into the moment, as if you hadn’t just had the most insane realisation of your life. “4th in fucking Monaco!” 

He chuckled, his panic easing. “I know right,” he smirked. “I might just have to be your favourite driver now.”

“Of course you are,” you rolled your eyes. “Always have been,” he didn’t recognise the way you were looking at him, but he welcomed it all the same. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

“You’re quiet,” he whispered, nudging your arm with his own. The paddock was loud and full of his name, but he still noticed you. Well, it would be hard no to, for him. “What’s up?”

You looked down, seeing where your foot collided with his in a constant, soft game of footsies. “Nothing, the sky,” you listed, stifling a giggle. He rolled his eyes and looked up, sighing. It gave you time to look at him. Notice the way his neck had gotten bigger, see the progress he’d made with his training, observe his bulging biceps and arms. Holy shit you had it bad for him, maybe all your mates were right? No, it couldn’t be. Because it wasn’t fast. You’d slowly fallen for him, over a matter of years. Slowly, you’d gotten used to the small things he does for you, you appreciated the hugs and cheek kisses, the protective arm around your shoulder every now and then, that stupid laugh you’d fallen so hard for. It wasn’t this quick, free-fall. It was slow, like a leaf falling down in the autumn wind. It was different. It was Isack. “I don’t know. This weekend just feels… different. Maybe you’ll get on that podium.” 

He chuckled, turning to face you. “I think something’s gone to your head,” he teased. “You sure it’s redbull in that can?”

You scoffed, playfully pushing him. “Never say never. Some things change, even when we don’t expect them too.” 

He stared at you, seeing that look in your eye again. “We’re alright?” he questioned. 

You nodded. “Always.” 

And once again, you walked away, leaving Isack all alone with his feelings. Liam always walked by at the right time, it was disturbing. “She’s in love with you, mate.” 

Isack jumped, not hearing his teammate join him on the bench (he was too busy looking at you longingly). “What the fuck-?!”

“She has it bad for you mate, I know these things,” he nodded. “You should ask her out, she’ll say yes.” 

“Do you remember any of our conversation from the other day?” He stared at him in disbelief as Liam shrugged. “And, I didn’t even think she was coming this weekend so what has changed between then and now, huh?” he questioned, his accent coming out the more he spoke. 

Liam cleared his throat. “Exactly mate, you’re welcome,” he smiled. “Nothing like an unrequited love story in Monaco, anything can happen here.”

“You brought her here?” Isack’s jaw dropped. “For what?!”

“For you, you fucking loser,” Liam chuckled. “Talk to her! Ask her out! Take control of your destiny!” the more he spoke the less Isack knew what he was saying. He stared at him dumbstruck as he walked off, winking at him. 

What a strange weekend. 

Every bone in his body ached to fall into bed, but he just couldn’t sleep. He’d tried everything. Meditation. Breathing exercises. Tea. that navy sleep technique. Visualisations. And now, walking the dark streets of Monaco. The barriers were up. The fanstands were empty, but by tomorrow morning they’d be full. And he’d be in a car on the second row. Part of him couldn’t believe it. Part of him didn’t want to. He had trouble sometimes with taking pride in his work, maybe because in his mind it was an obligation more than an ambition. He didn’t think he’d be truly happy with his career until he lifted that Championship trophy. It didn’t matter how many races he won, how many people called him the goat, or what people said about him. If he didn’t have that trophy it wasn’t worth it. His life’s work wasn’t worth it. And that scared the shit out of him. 

“Fancy meeting you here,” you spoke and he turned his head in disbelief. “Missed me too much already?” 

You had gone to bed earlier than him, and he didn’t have a chance to offer you his bed. Which was fine. But there you were, standing there in the streets he knew like the back of his hand (well, the hairpin he knew like the back of his hand), wearing your pyjamas out in the mild Monaco air. You couldn’t have looked more beautiful. He took a deep breath. “Always,” he smirked, walking up to you. “What are you doing out here so late?”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Do you always have to be so protective?” you chuckled. “I couldn’t sleep.”

You started walking in step with each other, your hand wrapping around his arm as you spoke. He cleared his throat. “Worried about tomorrow?” he asked, watching your side profile as you kept your eyes ahead. 

You turned to him. “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” 

There was humor in your voice but it fell flat against the tension between the two of you. He was close. Too close. So close. You could feel his breath on your cheek, and he didn’t step back. He just kept staring. Staring and staring at your face as if he hadn’t seen it a thousand and one times. Like he didn’t know the layout of it like he knew the layout of the track beside you. The streetlamps illuminated his eyes, the perfect shade of brown. God, you could’ve just gotten lost in that moment, staring at him, when saying nothing truly meant everything.

He leaned over and his lips met yours. Not like it was planned but, not like it wasn’t either. Just simple, passionate, soft, and delicate. His hand cupped your cheek like he’d bruise it if he touched you too roughly. You didn’t mind. You kissed him back, gently running your hands through his hair as you felt yourself back up against a barrier. He didn’t stop and neither did you. 

“I love you,” he breathed out against your lips, not thinking clearly. He was drunk off the taste of you, off the moment. “I’ve loved you for a long time.” 

You didn’t answer right away, slightly shocked at the confession. People had mentioned it, pointed it out, or blatantly told you that he was in love with you. You didn’t take it to heart. It was hard not to when his hands were on your face as he kissed you against a barrier in Monaco. Your hands fisted his t-shirt, pulling him closer. “I love you too,” your voice was barely above a whisper, but he heard it. He always did. 

He pulled back with that soft smile on his face, fixing your pyjamas slightly. He looked at you with all the care in the world, but then again, he always did. 

navigation for my blog :)

redbull & vcarb masterlist

[kitty384]

The Space Beneath

Summary: After a hard mission, Y/N disappears into the one place that still feels safe. She doesn't want to talk, doesn’t want to be seen—she just wants to hide. But Bucky knows her too well to let her stay alone.

Content Warnings: PTSD symptoms (mild), emotional shutdown, hiding/coping behavior, soft comfort, hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship, Bucky being the best boyfriend

There was something about the weight of silence that hit differently after a mission.

Not the kind of silence that filled the air when you were safe and still—no, this was the silence that followed chaos. A silence too loud in its emptiness. It rang in Y/N’s ears, humming over the memory of shouting, gunfire, the way her heart had pounded so hard it made her ribs ache.

She didn’t say much when they got back to the compound. No one pressed her.

Steve gave her a nod of acknowledgment. Natasha squeezed her shoulder. Bruce offered her a gentle smile. Bucky had searched her face for something—maybe a sign, a hint—but she hadn’t given him one. She couldn’t. If she spoke, if she let her hands shake, she might shatter. She might cry in front of everyone, and she wasn’t ready for that.

So she disappeared.

Not in a dramatic way. No slammed doors, no angry exits. She just… walked away. Slipped down the hall in her mission gear and socked feet, turning corners until she found the hallway that always led home.

The living room was dark. A few lights glowed dimly on the far wall, casting a soft haze over the carpet. She moved like a ghost. Not because she wanted to be seen that way, but because that’s what Hydra taught her: move quiet, move unnoticed, vanish when the world gets too loud.

She dropped to her knees beside the couch.

There was a time she would’ve chosen a closet. A locked room. A vent, maybe. But that was five years ago. Back when she didn’t know what safety was supposed to feel like. These days, safety was a warm blanket on cold furniture. The smell of peppermint tea and vanilla candles and whatever Natasha’s perfume clung to. It was this room. This couch. This space beneath it where the world didn’t exist.

Y/N crawled under slowly, her chest tight, every breath calculated.

It was cramped. Her elbow bumped a wooden beam. A few random socks were jammed into the back corner, probably Clint’s. She curled up into herself, pressing her cheek to the soft carpet. Her fingers tugged the throw blanket down from the couch edge, letting it fall like a curtain in front of her.

Darkness.

Not scary darkness. Not the kind that held nightmares or ghosts or memories of needles and sterile white light.

No—this was gentle. Close. Still.

She didn’t cry. Not yet.

She just breathed.

Time stretched thin.

She didn’t know how long she was under there. Long enough for her heartbeat to slow. Long enough for the quiet hum of the compound to settle in her bones.

And then—

Footsteps.

Slow. Careful. Not heavy like Thor’s. Not rapid like Sam’s. These were measured. Soft.

Bucky.

She knew that sound by now. She knew the way he walked, like he was always trying to make up for the times he didn’t have control over his own limbs. The way his boots barely scuffed the floor, how he hesitated just before he stepped into a room where he thought she might be.

She tensed.

Would he pull her out? Ask her what was wrong? Try to fix it?

The footsteps paused. Then there was a soft sound, the groan of leather, the clink of his knife being dropped onto the coffee table. Then—

Silence again.

Until:

“…Didn’t check here first. That’s on me,” Bucky’s voice was quiet, almost like he was talking to himself.

Y/N stayed curled up, eyes half-lidded, her fingers gripping the throw blanket.

Bucky didn’t crouch down or peek under. He didn’t call her name.

Instead, he lay down.

Right there on the carpet.

She heard the shift of his weight, the soft oof he let out as he adjusted onto his side.

And then his hand slid under the edge of the couch, palm up, open.

No words.

No pressure.

Just him, lying beside her.

Y/N blinked, throat tight. Her chest ached, but not in a way that hurt. It was… overwhelming. The good kind. The kind she still hadn’t fully learned how to hold.

She reached out slowly, her fingers brushing over his knuckles, then lacing through his. He was warm. Solid. Real.

They didn’t speak.

They didn’t have to.

Minutes passed. Maybe more.

At some point, Bucky’s thumb began to trace soft circles against her skin. She couldn’t see him—just the floor, and shadows, and the safe little world she’d built under this couch—but she felt him.

Eventually, her voice broke the silence, barely above a whisper.

“I couldn’t be around them. I wanted to be okay, I did, but I just… couldn’t do it.”

“I know,” Bucky murmured. “That’s why I came here.”

Y/N let out a shaky breath. “You always find me.”

“That’s the deal,” he said simply, like it was a fact of the universe. “You don’t have to explain. I just want you to know I’m here.”

Another pause.

Then she said, voice even smaller: “I thought I was better at this by now.”

Bucky’s hand squeezed hers gently. “You are. Being better doesn’t mean you never hide. It means knowing where to go when you need to. It means trusting someone enough to let them stay.”

Tears welled in her eyes then—not from sadness, but from love so thick it filled her up and spilled over.

She pressed her forehead to the back of his hand, breathing him in.

Metal and warmth and home.

When she finally crawled out from under the couch, blinking at the soft overhead light, Bucky didn’t say a word. He just opened his arms and pulled her close, letting her melt into him.

They sat on the floor together for a long time. Just breathing.

And for the first time since they got back, she felt okay.

Masterlist

Request

[jennxxe]

Birthday boy.

pairing — erik campbell x fem! reader x bobby campbell

summary — bobby is a 19 year old virgin and erik, being the great brother that he is, decides that his girlfriend can help with that

warnings — 18+, explicit sexual content, virginity loss, cursing, mentions of body piercings (erik ofc), oral sex, mentions of weed, smoking cigarettes, threesome, erik just watches at first, unprotected sex, creampie

a/n — lord this one is wild and i genuinely hope this doesn’t count as inc3st

Bobby’s 19th birthday party was somehow already a disaster and a success at the same time. The house smelled like dollar store candles, pizza rolls, and Axe body spray. Music thumped too loudly through the old speakers Erik had found in someone’s garage last week, and the couch was half-covered in streamers and a suspicious stain no one had dared address.

There were too many people in the kitchen, the lights were too bright, and the snacks had long devolved into chaos, but Bobby? Bobby was thriving.

Wearing a backwards snapback that didn’t match his outfit, sunglasses inside, and a white tee a size too tight, he moved through the crowd like a human Labrador. Slapping backs, flexing biceps, waving a half-eaten slice of cake around like a sword. His voice boomed every few seconds—laughing too loud, misquoting memes from 2017 like they were hot off TikTok.

You were nursing a red solo cup of something too sweet, sitting on the arm of the couch when Erik came up behind you. You felt him before he even spoke, his hand sliding around your waist, breath warm near your jaw, always too close, too cocky.

“Dude, look at him,” Erik muttered, tone just low enough to make it feel like a secret. “You’d think we were celebrating his retirement.”

You turned your head, letting your temple graze his. “He’s happy.”

Erik made a face. “He’s a virgin.”

You snorted. “So?”

“He’s nineteen. And still a virgin. You know what happens if that doesn’t get handled soon?”

You raised an eyebrow, swirling the drink in your cup. “He turns into a werewolf?”

“No. Worse.” Erik took a long sip from his drink like it physically pained him to continue. “He develops an ego complex, falls down a Reddit hole, and two years later he’s blaming women on the internet for the fact that he can’t find the clit.”

You stared at Bobby, watching him bump chests with a guy he just beat at beer pong. His eyes sparkled like a puppy who just got told he was a very good boy.

You leaned a little closer to Erik, voice dropping into something silkier. “He is kind of hot, though.”

Erik stopped breathing. You could feel the shift in him—shoulders tensing slightly, head turning toward you in slow disbelief.

“What.”

You licked your lips, playing it up just to get a rise out of him. “I mean, he’s got those jock arms. Dumb energy. Big heart. Zero clue what to do with it. I could fix him.”

Erik just stared at you like you’d grown horns.

“You wanna cheat on me with my brother?”

“Not cheat,” you corrected sweetly, dragging a nail down his arm. “Help.”

He ran a hand down his face, visibly spiraling. “You are deranged.”

You leaned into his space again, lips grazing the shell of his ear, voice a teasing purr. “You’re hard, aren’t you?”

“Shut up,” he hissed, way too fast. His jaw twitched.

You leaned back just enough to see the look in his eyes—half disbelief, half Oh no I’m into this. The kind of chaos only Erik could embody: territorial and turned on, pissed and amused all at once.

“So?” you prompted.

He stared at the floor for a beat, then the ceiling, then you. You watched his tongue press against the inside of his cheek before he exhaled like he was selling his soul to the devil.

“Alright. Let’s go help him.”

The house was quieter two hours later.

Empty red solo cups littered the counters. Someone’s jacket was crumpled over the microwave. A balloon floated lazily against the ceiling like it, too, had given up. Erik sat at the kitchen table, slouched back in a chair with one leg kicked out and a cigarette dangling between his fingers. Smoke curled lazily toward the overhead light, casting everything in a hazy yellow glow.

Bobby stumbled in, hair a mess, shirt rumpled, cheeks still flushed with leftover adrenaline. He looked like someone who had just been told he was awesome twelve too many times.

“Dude,” Bobby said, breathless, opening the fridge like he was searching for buried treasure. “That was the best party of my life. Did you see Trevor let me carry him up the stairs? I mean, I dropped him on the third step, but like… he laughed.”

Erik didn’t look up from the cigarette. “Congrats, man. You peaked.”

Bobby grabbed a bottle of something halfway expired and twisted off the cap, chugging like he was in a college movie.

“You’re in a good mood,” Erik muttered, finally meeting his gaze.

Bobby leaned against the counter, sipping more slowly now. “Yeah, well. It’s my birthday. Also, I think your girlfriend winked at me.”

Erik exhaled a long stream of smoke and tilted his head. “She did more than that, bro.”

Bobby blinked. “...What?”

Erik tapped the ash off his cigarette, watching the ember glow. Then he glanced up again, expression unreadable.

“She thinks you’re hot.”

There was a pause. Bobby frowned.

“Wait, like… joking hot or like—”

“Like she offered to take your virginity as a favor to society.”

Bobby’s jaw dropped, a bottle of Sprite halfway to his mouth. “What?!”

“She said you’ve got dumb energy,” Erik added, deadpan.

Bobby blinked. “I mean… I do, but—”

Erik pointed the cigarette at him like it was a moral compass. “Listen to me. I don’t know what kind of glow-up puberty gave you, but if you’re gonna start pulling that kind of attention, you need to know how to handle it.”

Bobby squinted. “Handle what? You’re not seriously saying—wait. Wait, are you mad?”

“Mad?” Erik scoffed. “No. I’m your older brother. I’m here to guide your dumbass into manhood.”

“That sounds like a cult pitch.”

“Shut up.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, cigarette balanced loosely between two fingers. “Look. You’re nineteen. You’ve got that whole boy-next-door thing going for you. Girls love that shit. But if you start swinging your dick around like a prize, you’re gonna crash and burn.”

Bobby raised a brow. “...This is weird advice coming from you.”

“Yeah, well.” Erik gave him a tight smirk. “That’s why I’m not telling you to be me. I’m telling you to take the shortcut. You wanna lose it? Fine. You want her to show you the ropes? Great. Just don’t be a creep about it. Don’t fall in love with your first lay. And never tell Julia.”

Bobby made a choking noise. “Jules would literally kill us all.”

“Exactly.” Erik stood up, stretched his arms overhead, his tank top riding up just enough to show a hint of ink. “So if anything happens… it didn’t.”

Bobby nodded slowly. “Right. Operation: Denial.”

Erik clapped a hand on his shoulder, smirking. “That’s my boy.”

And with that, he walked off down the hall, dragging smoke and bad ideas behind him.

Bobby stood there alone for a second, holding the bottle and blinking at the dark kitchen.

“…Wait, am I about to lose my virginity?”

The next day, you were on the porch, sunglasses on, coffee in one hand, phone in the other. Your legs were kicked up on the railing, Erik’s hoodie slouched over your frame like it lived there now. Hair a little messy. A smudge of something pink on your cheek. You looked like the aftermath of something that left a mark.

Bobby hovered in the doorway like he was approaching a tiger in stilettos.

“…Hey,” he said finally, voice cracking halfway through it.

You lowered your glasses just enough to look at him. “Morning, birthday boy.”

He swallowed. ���So. Uh. Last night.”

You took a slow sip from your mug. “Mhm.”

“Did that… like… happen?”

You tilted your head, watching him squirm. “Define that, sweetheart.”

Bobby flushed. “The part where you and Erik were… talking about… you know.” He gestured vaguely at the universe. “Helping me.”

You didn’t answer right away. You just looked at him for a moment, amused, your tongue pressing into your cheek like you were deciding how much chaos to unleash before noon.

“Yeah,” you said finally. “We were.”

Bobby blinked. “You were serious?”

You raised an eyebrow. “You think I wink at people as a joke?”

He made a small, confused hand motion. “I don’t know, I just figured it was like… ironic flirting. Y’know, like when people flirt with customer service workers so they don’t feel like dying?”

You leaned forward, placing your coffee down with a soft clink. “Bobby. You’re hot. Tall. Built like a linebacker. Dumb as bricks in the most adorable way possible. You think I wouldn’t want to ruin you a little?”

He stared at you like you just told him he was actually descended from the heavens. “Oh my God.”

You smiled slowly. “Still want my help?”

He opened his mouth. Closed it. Then—softly, earnestly, with a kind of sacred awe—“I think I’d let you run me over with a truck.”

You laughed. Really laughed. Then stood up and ruffled his hair with both hands. “Good boy.”

Just then, Erik stepped onto the porch, shirtless, yawning, with a cigarette tucked behind his ear.

He paused. Squinted at the two of you.

“…Are you guys flirting?” he asked, deadpan.

You didn’t miss a beat. “No.”

Bobby, nearly vibrating: “YES.”

Erik looked between you both, eyes narrowing. “Do not bang my brother before breakfast.”

You raised your mug in salute. “No promises.”

Later that day, Bobby found you alone in the living room. Erik had just left to pick up some tattoo supplies and probably a breakfast burrito the size of his ego. You were sprawled across the couch in biker shorts and a crop top, one leg hooked over the armrest, flipping through a magazine like you weren’t plotting a moral collapse.

Bobby hesitated in the doorway like his conscience was still buffering.

You didn’t look up. “You gonna hover or sit?”

He obeyed immediately, flopping onto the couch cushion beside you like he’d been waiting for permission to breathe. “Okay, so—hypothetically—if this were to happen…”

You turned your head, one brow raised. “If?”

Bobby flushed. “When. When. Sorry. I’m still, like, mentally short-circuiting.”

You smirked. “Cute.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “So… Friday— Julia’s still on that cabin trip with her friends. Mom and Dad are outta town… So the house’ll be empty.”

“Except for us,” you said, giving him a slow, deliberate look.

He gulped. “Okay. Yeah. That’s… That’s good.”

You tilted your head, pretending to think. “What time do you usually wake up on a Friday?”

“Uh. Ten?”

“Make it nine. I want you showered. Teeth brushed. Hair fluffed.”

He blinked. “Fluffed?”

You leaned in slightly, voice dropping into something warm and smoky. “Bobby, this is a once-in-a-lifetime event. You’re about to be ruined for other women. The least you can do is smell good.”

He made a small whimpering noise. “Oh my God.”

You sat up and leaned toward him, eyes playful but sharp. “No breakfast burritos. No garlic. No Axe body spray. And wear those grey sweatpants.”

He blinked. “You noticed my sweatpants?”

You just smirked. “Everybody noticed your sweatpants.”

Bobby looked like his soul had momentarily left his body. “Okay. Okay. I can do this. This is fine. I’m fine.”

You reached over, gently tugged the drawstring of his shorts. “You better be.”

He swallowed hard. “Wait—where’s it gonna happen? My room? Living toom?”

You chuckled. “Please. The living room’s sacred ground. We’re using Erik’s room.”

His eyes widened. “Dude. That feels… wrong.”

You grinned. “Exactly.”

He choked on his own spit.

You leaned back again, casual and predatory all at once. “So. Friday. Nine a.m. Clean, quiet, ready. You knock once and Erik will open the door. And then…”

“Then?” he asked, eyes huge.

You smiled like a cat with a mouse under her paw. “Then I make you forget every crush you ever had.”

From the hallway, the front door creaked open.

Erik’s voice called out. “Yo! You guys better not be doing bonding shit in there!”

You called back smoothly. “We’re just talking!”

Bobby, under his breath, lips pale: “I think I’m gonna die.”

You glanced at him, tossed your hair back, and whispered, “Not before Friday, you’re not.”

Friday. 9:03 AM.

Erik’s room smelled like him—cologne, smoke, leather, and something distinctly male and reckless. The kind of scent that stayed on your skin, even after a shower. You were perched on the edge of his unmade bed, legs crossed, nails painted and gleaming under the soft morning light that filtered through slatted blinds.

Bobby stood in the doorway, looking like a crime about to happen. Grey sweatpants. White tee stretched over his chest. Hands fidgeting at his sides like he didn’t know what to do with the sudden weight of his body. He looked at you, then glanced toward the corner chair.

Erik was already there. Slouched back, legs spread wide, black joggers riding low on his hips, coffee in one hand and a cigarette burning in the ashtray beside him. His gaze was unreadable, flicking from his brother to you like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or light the match.

“You’re late,” you said, lifting an eyebrow as Bobby stepped inside.

“I—I had to shave. I didn’t want to be prickly. Or sweaty. Or like, too… I don’t know, eager.” Bobby’s voice cracked halfway through and he winced.

You smiled slowly, rising from the bed. “Relax. You’re not being sacrificed.”

Bobby swallowed hard, eyes wide as you walked toward him. He looked like he’d never seen a woman walk in his life.

You hooked a finger through his waistband and gently tugged him closer. “Let’s start slow.”

He nodded so fast it looked like a glitch.

You cupped his jaw, thumb brushing across his cheek, and leaned in, your lips ghosting over his before you pressed into him. His mouth opened on instinct, unsure and eager, but you kissed him like you had all the time in the world to teach him.

His hands hovered at your sides, too polite, too careful.

“Touch her,” Erik said from the corner, voice low and unbothered.

Bobby jerked slightly, blinking at him. “W-What?”

“Jesus, man,” Erik exhaled, eyes sharp but lazy, “you think she’s gonna bite?”

“She will,” you murmured, nipping Bobby’s bottom lip. “But only if you’re lucky.”

That seemed to short-circuit him. His hands slid to your waist, trembling a little, and you kissed him deeper, guiding him backward until the backs of his knees hit the bed. You pushed him down gently, straddling him, hands in his hair, hips rocking just barely to test him.

And oh—he was already getting there. Poor boy was flushed, pupils blown wide, already hard against the thin barrier of his sweatpants.

Erik leaned back, elbow resting on the arm of the chair, watching. Not leering. Not possessive. Just… invested. Smirking. Maybe a little impressed.

“You’re really doing this,” he muttered, voice coated in lazy amusement. “Can’t say I didn’t think about it. But damn.”

Bobby pulled back slightly, panting, lips kiss-bruised. “Is this… like, is this weird? That you’re—”

“I’m here to supervise,” Erik said, deadpan. “Making sure you don’t cry or nut too fast.”

You bit back a grin. “Yeah, baby. This is hands-on mentorship.”

Bobby let out a strangled sound that might’ve been a laugh or a prayer.

You leaned down again, this time slower, with a little more weight in it, your tongue sliding over his as you kissed him like he was something you’d waited for. Like ruining him was a favor you were doing for both of you.

Erik stretched, muscles rippling, his eyes dark now. “Don’t let him get lazy,” he said, voice molasses-slick. “If you’re gonna teach him, teach him.”

“Oh,” you purred, rocking your hips against Bobby’s slowly, “I plan on it.”

You pulled back from Bobby just enough to meet his gaze, your thumb brushing his swollen bottom lip. He looked wrecked already, chest rising and falling too fast, eyes dazed like he couldn’t believe this was real.

You dipped your head again, but instead of kissing him, your lips grazed his jaw, down to his throat, and then to the collar of his t-shirt.

“Take this off,” you murmured.

He obeyed immediately, tugging the shirt over his head with a clumsy kind of urgency. You didn’t rush. You just sat back and watched the reveal—broad chest, soft tan lines, that little trail of hair disappearing into his waistband. He looked like a boy trying hard to be a man, and that innocence made your mouth water.

You slid your hands up his stomach, nails grazing skin just enough to make him twitch. “Not bad, birthday boy.”

He swallowed hard. “Should I—uh—should I take yours off too or—”

Erik cut in from the chair, voice like dry smoke. “Ask permission first, dumbass.”

You turned to shoot Erik a look, half grin, half warning. “He’s learning.”

Bobby blinked up at you. “Can I—can I take yours off?”

You tilted your head, teasing. “You gonna be gentle?”

He nodded so fast it made you laugh softly.

“Then go ahead.”

His hands were hesitant at first, brushing your hips, sliding up your sides to the hem of your crop top. You raised your arms for him, and he peeled it off slowly, like he was unwrapping something forbidden.

His eyes widened as you sat there bare above him—no bra, no shame. You leaned forward and tugged his hands up to your chest.

“Touch,” you said, tone low and warm.

He did. Carefully. Reverently. Like he wasn’t sure if it was a dream. From the chair, Erik exhaled a breath through his nose, blue eyes focused.

“You’re shaking,” you murmured, kissing Bobby’s jaw. “Still scared?”

Bobby let out a breathless little laugh. “Kinda.”

“Good.” You nipped his ear. “Means you’ll remember it.”

Your fingers slipped down his torso, grazing the waistband of his sweatpants.

“These go next,” you whispered. “But you’re not the only one losing layers.”

You stood slowly, watching his eyes follow every movement. You hooked your thumbs into your shorts and shimmied out of them, one side at a time, until they pooled at your feet. The air kissed your thighs, and Bobby’s mouth parted slightly when he saw your panties.

You stepped out and climbed back onto the bed, straddling him again.

“Okay,” you said softly, fingers ghosting along his waistband. “You ready?”

He nodded, almost too fast again.

Erik leaned forward slightly in his chair, elbows on his knees, that lazy smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

“Don’t pass out,” he muttered. “We just got to the good part.”

You slid closer to Bobby, breath warm against his skin, fingers tracing the line of his jaw before settling at the base of his neck. His pulse hammered beneath your touch, every nerve begging for something, anything, from you.

Without hesitation, you dipped your head, lips ghosting down his collarbone, pausing just above the waistband of his sweats. Your hands cupped his hips as you leaned in, eyes locked with his for a heartbeat before you let your mouth do the talking.

Slow, deliberate kisses trailed lower, teasing, coaxing, until you were tracing the edge of the fabric. Your tongue flicked out, slipping beneath the band, drawing a soft gasp from him that made your pulse quicken.

“Fuck... shit,” Bobby breathed out, voice trembling like it caught him off guard.

You worked with patience, hands sliding up his thighs as your lips parted around the tip, gentle at first like you were savoring the taste, learning every curve. His fingers tangled in your hair, breath hitching, eyes fluttering closed as you took his cock deeper into your mouth, slow and sure.

“God, that’s... fuck, yeah,” he gasped, hips pushing forward with a shaky urgency, desperate for more even as you kept him on the edge.

The heat between you spiked, his hips rolling forward on instinct, pressing closer as you took him in, careful to keep the pace just right—teasing enough to drive him wild but not so fast he lost control.

You looked up through your lashes, lips slick and swollen, and caught the raw need in his gaze. He was already undone, every breath shallow, every muscle tense.

“You good?” you murmured, voice thick with promise.

He swallowed hard, voice rough and ragged. “Never... never been better.”

You’re lost in the moment, every slow, teasing motion drawing Bobby deeper, his breath hitching and his hands clutching your hair like you’re the only thing keeping him grounded. His eyes are half-lidded, desperate and stunned, like you’re literally stealing the air from his lungs.

From the corner, Erik’s voice cuts through the haze, low and sarcastic, like he’s calling the play-by-play on a goddamn championship game.

“Alright, folks—Bobby’s in the danger zone now,” he drawls, eyes locked on the scene like he’s got front-row seats. “Slowing the pace, but the crowd’s on edge. Can he handle the pressure?”

Bobby groans, muffled against his hand. “Dude... c’mon, s-stapH.”

Erik smirks, lighting a cigarette. “Oh, he’s begging already! That’s gotta be a first.”

You glance up briefly, biting back a grin before diving back in. Bobby’s hands grip tighter, hips twitching like he’s fighting a losing battle.

“Bobby’s defenses are breaking down—full surrender imminent,” Erik narrates like it’s the final seconds of overtime. “Can he hold out? Or is this gonna be a quick win for Team ‘Girlfriend’?”

“Dude—fuck—c’mon, man!” Bobby whines, voice shaky, lips pressed hard against you, eyes squeezed shut as if that’ll save him.

You hum against his skin, teasing just enough to drive him crazy, fingers threading through his hair, grounding him even as his world spins.

Erik leans back, blowing out smoke, eyes gleaming. “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you seal the deal. Bobby’s officially outplayed.”

Bobby groans again, breathless and defeated but grinning like a kid caught stealing cookies.

You finally pull back, letting him catch his breath, his chest rising and falling fast, cheeks flushed like a champ who just scored. You lay back on the bed, parting your thighs for him. He takes a deep breath before climbing on top of you so he’s hovering just above your pussy.

Bobby's inexperienced but eager movements sent tingles through you, his warm breath ghosting over your sensitive skin. You watched him, heart fluttering at the sight of him, lost in concentration as he explored your body with tentative touches.

His tongue darted out tentatively, brushing against your folds, making you gasp softly. He looked up at you, eyes wide and questioning, clearly unsure if he was doing it right. You gave him an encouraging nod, threading your fingers through his hair gently.

"You're doing great, Bobby," you reassured him, voice breathy. "Just follow your instincts."

Emboldened by your praise, he leaned in closer, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your inner thighs. His hands gripped your hips, thumbs rubbing soothing circles on your skin. He seemed to be figuring it out bit by bit, his movements becoming more confident as he tasted and teased you.

"Tell me if I'm hurting you," he murmured against your skin, glancing up at you with a blend of trepidation and yearning. "I don't want to mess this up."

You smiled softly, cupping his cheek. "Just relax and enjoy this."

He nodded, determination settling in his gaze as he returned his attention to pleasuring you. His tongue delved deeper, not quite finding your clit yet.

Bobby looks up at you nervously, his eyes searching yours for guidance. You give him an encouraging smile, reaching out to run your fingers through his hair reassuringly.

"It's okay, you're doing great," you murmur softly, arching your back slightly to press your hips up towards his face invitingly.

Bobby takes a deep breath and closes his eyes briefly before diving in again. This time, his tongue glides across your slick folds with a bit more confidence, circling your entrance before darting inside teasingly.

Bobby’s doing his best. Honestly. He’s trying so hard, and you can feel the effort in every careful movement, every awkward adjustment like he’s solving a Rubik’s cube with his tongue. You let him keep going, because it’s sweet… but that sweetness doesn’t do much when it’s not quite hitting the spot.

From his place nearby, Erik’s been watching with a cigarette half-lit and an eyebrow cocked so high it might fly off his face. His arms are crossed, lip twitching like he’s been holding back commentary for a solid minute.

Finally, he exhales a sharp breath through his nose, flicks the cigarette into a tray, and stands up like a guy who's had enough of watching a YouTube tutorial done wrong.

“Okay,” he says, clapping once like a disappointed professor. “Move over, Bobby. That’s enough community service for one night.”

Bobby looks up, lips wet and confused. “Huh?”

Erik’s already kneeling down next to him, rolling his neck like he’s about to crack his knuckles and fix your entire day. “You gave it the ol’ college try, man. Really. I’m proud of you. But I can’t sit here watching you treat her like a Sudoku puzzle any longer.”

Bobby frowns. “I wasn’t—wait, is it that bad?”

You bite your lip, torn between laughter and arousal. “It’s not bad, it’s just… not illegal either.”

Erik grins, wicked and sure of himself. “Don’t worry, rookie. This is a team sport.”

And before Bobby can protest, Erik’s got one hand sliding over your thigh, the other brushing Bobby’s shoulder like a tag-in at a wrestling match.

“Pay attention, kid,” he murmurs against your skin, voice dark and low. “Class is in session.”

With practiced ease, Erik guides Bobby’s hands, adjusting the angle, encouraging the right touch. His voice drops low and teasing as he coaches, “Not too hard, don’t forget to listen. You feel that? Good. Keep that up.”

Erik's guidance transformed Bobby's touch from uncertain to confident. Under his brother's steady hand, Bobby found a rhythm, alternating between long, slow licks and quick, focused flicks of his tongue.

"That's it, just like that," Erik encouraged, a predatory gleam in his eye as he watched Bobby work. His own arousal was evident, straining against his jeans as he knelt beside you both.

You found yourself lost in the sensation, back arching off the bed as Bobby's tongue circled your clit with growing skill. Erik's fingers dug into Bobby's shoulder, urging him on, his own breath coming faster.

"Fuck, you're doing so good," Erik groaned, his other hand skimming up your thigh, teasingly close to where Bobby's mouth worked. "Keep going, just like that. Make her cum all over you."

Bobby groaned against you, the vibrations sending sparks of pleasure racing through your nerves. Erik's filthy words and the knowledge of them watching you together pushed you closer to the edge, your hips rocking instinctively against Bobby's face.

Erik watches intently from his position behind Bobby, his hand guiding the younger man's head as he whispers words of encouragement.

"That's it, just like that," Erik praises, his deep voice sending vibrations through Bobby's mouth directly to your core. "Use more pressure, and focus on her clit."

Bobby follows Erik's lead, latching onto your sensitive bundle of nerves and suckling gently. His inexperienced enthusiasm is actually quite endearing as he explores your body with growing fervor.

Your breathing hitches as the dual sensations of Erik's guiding hand and Bobby's eager mouth overwhelm your senses. You thread your fingers through Bobby's hair, pulling him closer as your thighs begin to tremble.

"F-fuck..." you gasp out, your hips bucking involuntarily against Bobby's face as he brings you closer to the edge with every swipe of his talented tongue.

Erik leaned down, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss, swallowing your moans as Bobby brought you to a shattering climax. You came apart between them, tremors wracking your body as Bobby lapped up your release, guided by Erik's knowing hands and gravelly praise.

Erik’s hands are already on your hips, mouth hot on your neck, when he starts shedding layers like he’s got somewhere better to be, but clearly, this is the main event. Shirt flung over the back of a chair, belt clinking as it hits the floor, boots kicked off without a second thought.

Bobby’s still sitting beside you, wide-eyed, probably rethinking every decision that brought him here, especially when Erik’s boxers hit the ground with zero hesitation.

And then—

“Bro,” Bobby chokes, voice cracking halfway through. “You have a piercing on your—on your dick?!”

He’s blinking like he just saw a crime scene. His hand lifts automatically, like he’s about to cross himself or call the authorities.

Erik doesn’t even flinch. He just smirks, one brow raised, stepping fully into view like a man very proud of his hardware.

“Prince Albert, baby,” he says casually, as if it’s just another tattoo. “Adds a little extra sparkle to the family jewels.”

Bobby’s still frozen, blinking rapidly. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

Erik shrugs, not missing a beat. “Because I like making people believe in God again.”

Your laugh breaks the tension, breathless and sharp, and Erik shoots you a wink before crawling back onto the bed like a performer who’s just dropped the mic.

Bobby’s still staring, somewhere between traumatized and deeply curious.

Erik throws an arm around his shoulders as he settles in. “Don’t worry. By the end of this, you’ll be grateful for every disturbing thing I’ve ever done.”

The air in Erik’s room is thick with heat and breathless energy, music humming low in the background like a pulse neither of them can ignore. You’re lying back, already flushed, your skin slick with anticipation, heart thundering like a drumbeat that only speeds up when Erik settles on one side of you and Bobby hesitates on the other.

“Come on, Bobby,” Erik murmurs, voice rough like gravel and whiskey, leaning over you to flash his brother a grin that’s half taunt, half dare. “Don’t get shy now. You’re not gonna break her.”

Bobby looks torn between holy awe and cardiac arrest, his eyes flicking from you to Erik and back again, lips parted as if searching for words but forgetting how they work. Still, he moves closer, drawn like gravity, and when his hand brushes your hip, it’s tentative, reverent.

You reach for him, fingers curling around his wrist, guiding him in with a soft, sultry pull. “You’re doing good, Bobby,” you murmur, and that’s all it takes.

His mouth crashes against yours, all nervous energy and clumsy hunger, but it works and you let him press you down into the sheets as Erik watches with that signature smirk that says he knew it would go like this.

“Christ,” Erik mutters, jerking himself off lazily as he sits back and watches. “This is better than pay-per-view.”

You arch into Bobby’s touch, and Erik finally pushes himself onto his knees with that casual confidence, settling near your face. Bobby turns his head for a split second—and freezes.

“Bro—” he chokes out, face going red. “You’re really just gonna let her suck you off? With that thing?!”

Erik just stretches, shameless and proud. “What, the piercing? You’ll thank me later. She definitely will. Besides do you think she never gave me a blow before?”

He slides behind you now, his chest warm against your back, lips grazing your shoulder. “Mind if I take over for a sec?” he murmurs, voice low enough that Bobby has to lean in to catch it. “You can watch and learn.”

You can feel Bobby nod before he even says anything, his eyes wide, lips wet and slightly parted. Erik’s hands ghost along your sides, slow and deliberate, and Bobby’s still kneeling at your thighs, his breathing uneven, like he’s caught between fascination and overload.

Then Erik reaches forward, guiding Bobby’s hand like he had earlier, but this time it's different—hungrier. More intimate. His voice is a murmur against your ear as he whispers instructions, half for Bobby, half for you.

“Just like that. Feel that?” He smirks as your body reacts, your breath catching. “She likes that. You’re doin’ alright.”

Bobby groans softly, his voice raw. “This is insane…”

“Yeah,” Erik says with a grin, “but you’re not tapping out, are you?”

The silence stretches and then Bobby shakes his head very eagerly, breathless. “Hell no.”

You pull him back to you with a smile that says good, your hands tangled in his shirt, Erik’s body flush against yours, all heat and teasing fingertips and tangled limbs.

And when you moan just loud enough, Erik lets out a laugh, smug and sinful.

“Happy birthday, baby brother.”

It’s happening—really happening—and Bobby’s frozen for a beat, like his brain just blue-screened mid-installation. One second he's hovering, nervous as hell, heart rattling in his ribs like a caged bird, and the next...

He sinks into you.

And that’s when his soul momentarily leaves his body.

His breath punches out of him like he’s been socked in the chest. His hands immediately grip the sheets like he’s trying not to float off the planet. Green eyes wide, jaw slack, a raw, involuntary noise tumbles out of his throat—somewhere between a gasp, a whimper, and a desperate "holy sh—"

You’re warm and tight and real, and for Bobby—who’s only ever known the cold, pixelated touch of incognito mode—it’s too much and not enough, all at once. His whole face flushes a deep, beet-red, and he literally pants over you like he just ran five miles barefoot uphill.

“Oh my god—oh my god,” he stammers, completely wrecked already. “It feels—this is—you’re—”

Erik just leans back against the headboard, grinning like he just sold front-row tickets to the most dramatic moment of Bobby’s life.

“Bro,” Erik says with a laugh, “You look like you just saw the second coming.”

Bobby can’t even look at him. His head dips, breath hitching, forehead brushing your shoulder as he moans, shaky and ruined. “I���m not gonna last—I can’t—dude.”

Erik smirks. “Nah, nah. You’re doing great. Just… maybe think about your taxes or baseball or something.”

“Why would I think about baseball?!”

“Exactly.”

You bite your lip to stifle a giggle as Bobby fumbles, overwhelmed and stunned and completely consumed. He looks up at you, eyes blown wide, voice breathless and reverent.

“You’re so perfect, I swear I’m—this is—thank you, oh my god—thank you.”

Erik just claps once from the sidelines like a proud coach watching his underdog score.

“Look at my boy. Whole personality rewiring in real-time.”

Bobby’s barely hanging onto reality at this point, he’s fully gone, moving with raw instinct now, like something ancient and primal just got lit up inside him. Every thrust is wild and needy, like he’s chasing something he doesn’t even have words for yet. He’s panting against your skin, muttering breathless nonsense like “so good, so good, I can’t—” over and over, caught somewhere between prayer and delirium.

Your nails dig into his shoulders, grounding him as much as they’re clinging for dear life.

And Erik? Oh, he’s collected. Too collected. The exact opposite of his little brother’s desperate rhythm. He’s kneeling above you, mouth twitching into a smirk as he slides two fingers beneath your chin and tilts your head just the way he likes it.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice velvet-draped danger. “Don’t forget about me now.”

His hips move with an infuriating sort of control, slow and deliberate, as if he’s got all the time in the world to teach you exactly how he likes it. One hand holds your jaw steady, the other stroking over your hair like he owns the moment, because he does.

“Goddamn,” he groans as you take him into your mouth, eyes fluttering shut for a second before snapping back to you with laser focus. “You’re filthy. Look at you—wrecked on both ends.”

Behind you, Bobby moans—a high, desperate sound that he clearly didn’t mean to let out. “I—I’m gonna—oh my god—”

Erik tilts his head, peering over your shoulder like he’s checking in on a toddler making a mess. “Bobby,” he calls out, voice calm but amused. “Buddy. Pace yourself. This isn’t a sprint.”

Bobby’s too far gone to listen, though. He mutters something incoherent and doubles down, rocking into you with a groan that practically trembles in his throat.

Erik watches the two of you, biting down a grin. “Jesus. He’s like a damn dog in mating season.”

Then he looks back at you, voice dropping to something low and wicked. “Good thing I know how to take my time.”

Then—

Bobby cums. Hard. Inside of you.

Bobby’s still inside you, frozen like a statue, lips parted as his brain slowly catches up to what his body just did. He blinks. Once. Twice.

Then he breathes, “...Oh my god.”

You hum, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder, eyes still glazed with pleasure. “That good, huh?”

He looks like he just committed a crime in three states and turned himself in. “I—I didn’t mean to. I mean, I did, but I didn’t—Erik’s gonna kill me.”

For a second, no one says anything.

The air is thick, sticky with sweat and something heavier, Bobby’s breath caught in his throat, your body still twitching with the aftershocks, and Erik?

Erik is staring.

Not blinking. Not speaking. Just… staring.

Bobby’s eyes widen, panicked. “I came in her.” Like it wasn’t obvious.

Erik tilts his head.

“Dude. You lasted two and a half minutes, blew your load in my girl?” Erik stops. Looks at him. Then at you. Then shakes his head with a low whistle. “The audacity…”

You shift, propping yourself up on your elbows. “I mean, you could at least pretend to be mad.”

“I was mad,” Erik says, starting to smirk like the devil. “Until I saw the look on his face. He came like a choirboy seeing heaven for the first time.”

Bobby groans and drops his face into the pillow, mortified. You giggle, fingers running lazily through his hair. “You okay down there?”

“No,” he says, voice muffled. “I just committed emotional incest.”

Erik snorts. “Relax. If I was gonna lose it, I’d have done it the second you started moaning like a Disney prince in heat.”

Bobby peeks up, cheeks still flushed. “You’re not mad?”

Erik’s eyes flick toward you, his smirk softening for just a moment. “Nah. I’m territorial, not jealous. She’s still mine.”

You blink up at him, breath caught somewhere in your chest. “You’re definitely not mad?”

“I’m insulted,” he mutters. “But mostly turned on. That’s the problem.”

You're lying in the wreckage of what used to be a bed—sheets twisted, limbs sprawled, the air still heavy with sweat and something else too wicked to name. Erik's arm is slung across your waist like a claim, thumb idly stroking your skin. Bobby’s somewhere at the foot of the bed, looking like he just won the lottery and got hit by a bus at the same time.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

You stretch, all faux-innocent, and murmur into the air, “Y’know… Bobby’s kind of a natural.”

Both men freeze.

Erik’s thumb stops mid-stroke. His head turns, slow, eyes narrowing with surgical precision.

“I beg your pardon?”

You blink up at him, biting your lip, oh-so-casual. “I’m just saying. He was surprisingly good for a first time. Like, if I didn’t know better, I’d think he’s done this before.”

From the foot of the bed, Bobby perks up. “Wait, really?”

Erik sits up like he’s been electrocuted.

“Oh my god,” he mutters. “You liked it?”

You tilt your head, pretending to think. “I mean… the enthusiasm? Immaculate. And he—”

“Don’t,” Erik cuts in sharply, holding up a finger. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence unless you want me to take your legs off at the knees with my mouth.”

You snort.

“Bobby, put some clothes on,” Erik barks suddenly, not even looking at him.

“Why?” Bobby asks, confused and still very much not moving.

“Because if you don’t, I might black out and do something unspeakable out of pure rage,” Erik hisses.

You hum, still wicked. “Jealous?”

Erik rounds on you with that devil’s grin curling at the corner of his mouth, the kind of look that promises vengeance and velvet sin. “No, sweetheart,” he murmurs, crawling over you like a storm rolling in. “Jealous is what I’d be if you didn’t scream my name louder.”

You smile sweetly. “I don’t remember whose name I screamed louder.”

Erik pauses.

Stares.

And then?

“Okay. That’s it.”

Suddenly you’re flipped onto your stomach with a low growl and a slap to your ass that echoes.

“Bobby, out.”

“Wait—”

“NOW.”

Bobby scrambles off the bed, dragging the sheet with him like a panicked toga. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You didn’t,” Erik calls after him. “She did. But now you both suffer.”

Erik watches Bobby stomp toward the door like he’s just been sentenced to exile, but the second Bobby’s hand hits the handle, Erik calls out, his voice rough but low, almost reluctant.

“Hey, dumbass… come back here.”

Bobby pauses. The door’s still cracked open, the hallway light spilling in, but he hesitates like he’s been yanked back by some invisible leash.

“You really wanna go out there alone after all that? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

Bobby’s eyes flicker, and for a second, he looks like he wants to argue.

Erik holds up a hand, cutting him off. “Nope. Come here.”

Bobby gives a shaky breath and turns back.

Erik opens his arms with a grunt, pulling him into this unexpectedly tight, almost protective hug. His chest rumbles low as Bobby melts into the embrace, the tension draining from his shoulders before Erik pushes him into your arms.

“Dumbass,” Erik mutters, the edges of his lips twitching into something like a smile. “You’re lucky you got me. Nobody else would’ve put up with your shit today.”

Bobby laughs softly, voice muffled against your bare skin. “Thanks, man.”

Erik pulls back, brushing a stray hair from Bobby’s forehead, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Now go put some clothes on before I change my mind and kick your ass again.”

[delulujuls]

healing sessions | aegon II targaryen

hi, it's been a hot minute since i posted here, the last weeks were pretty intense for me and since i have a summer break now, i would like to start writing again and do it more regularly.

this is something new here and since new episode of hotd dropped, im in my westeros era, so please prepare for something other than my last shots (i will still write for f1, don't worry)

and lemme set this straight, im team black till the day i die but those green bastards are FINE AS HELL lmao. also @alicenthightcwer is author of those gifts

summary: aegon isn't dealing well with his father loss, but gladly there is someone who's gonna do her best to lift his spirit a bit

warnings: it's fluff without basically any plot, sister x brother romance so targaryens at their finest, mentions of death, depression, alcohol, drugs

pairing: sister!reader x aegon targaryen

The news of King Viserys's death did not surprise the residents of King's Landing. Nonetheless, the loss of the kind ruler dealt a painful blow to the city, which seemed to freeze in time with the king's passing. The capital plunged into mourning, and in addition to the banners, black flags were hoisted. Westeros was left without a king.

Viserys's successor, his second child and first son, Aegon Targaryen, had not been seen since the king's funeral. Aegon had lost not just a king but, most importantly, a father who, unfortunately for him, named him the future ruler on his deathbed.

Aegon would have gladly given the throne to Rhaenyra, his older half-sister. He would have done it without hesitation, even placing the crown on her head himself. Unfortunately, his mother Alicent, who was with her dying husband and heard his wish to elevate their eldest son to the throne, decided to fulfill her beloved husband's last wish at any cost.

To be honest, Aegon couldn't care less about being king. The young prince had not left his bed for several days, thick curtains blocking any light from outside. Occasionally, servants were allowed into his chambers, but only with wine and poppy milk. Aegon did not eat, allowed no one near him, and slept. Sleep was his salvation. Even the prostitutes, who once outnumbered the rats in the castle, were no longer summoned. The fiery prince had dimmed.

Alicent knew she needed to give her son time to grieve. She didn't bother him, only inquiring about his condition from the servants who managed to enter his chambers. It was enough for her to know that he was alive. Aegon's siblings dealt with their grief in their own ways, and his condition hardly impressed anyone. Except for Y/N, who, despite her own pain, worried about her brother. Sitting at breakfast, she silently observed Aegon's chair, which remained empty. After her husband's death, Alicent decreed that all meals, not just dinners, be taken together. The firstborn had not appeared at any of them since.

After a silent breakfast punctuated by brief, formal conversations, Y/N stood up and grabbed a plate, filling it with Aegon's favorite croissants and a portion of strawberries. She was done pretending nothing was wrong. This had to end.

"You shouldn't go to him," Alicent said quietly as the servants began clearing the table. "You know him, he'll come out when he's ready."

"Or he'll drink himself to death first," she replied, not even glancing at her mother. Alicent clasped her hands and pressed them to her lips, watching her family fall apart without knowing how to stop it.

Y/N left the dining room and went to Aegon's chambers. She knocked first, wanting to maintain decorum, but knowing it was futile, she grabbed the handle and pushed the heavy door open. Inside was darkness. Only a nearly spent candle by the bed gave off any light; the room looked like a cave. She blindly set the plate on a table, and with arms outstretched, she made her way to the windows. With a swift motion, she drew the curtains, and even she was blinded by the sudden light that flooded in. Not hearing any curses from her brother, Y/N looked over her shoulder. On the large bed, a figure lay curled up, back to her. From the waist down, he was covered with a sheet that blended with his pale skin. White hair in disarray touched the crumpled pillow. Aegon was either in a deep sleep or dead.

Y/N opened the curtains at every window, flinging some open. The room was stuffy, reeking of stale alcohol, sweat, and the sweet scent of poppy milk. She circled the bed, crouching opposite her brother. He was indeed asleep, but his breathing was shallow. His lips were cracked, stained with dried blood. His eyelashes were matted with tears, and dark circles marred his eyes. There was a bruise under his left eye that was different from the ones under his eyes, as it began to fade and turn from purple to green. Y/N remembered her mother, who had been rubbing her hand while sitting at the table for several days. She could only guess that Alicent was trying to shake her son off in her own way.

Aegon slept, lying on his side and hugging himself, seeking comfort only he could provide. Y/N brushed the tangled strands from his forehead and kissed him. Aegon did not stir.

The princess knew he wouldn't allow servants to tend to him. She left the room quietly, asking the maids to prepare a hot bath quickly and silently. Y/N returned and sat beside him on the bed, gently stroking his head.

Aegon wasn't the bad person many thought him to be. True, he was unique, and in a room full of people, he was impossible to ignore, but no one is born evil. Now, Aegon was simply engulfed in darkness from which he couldn't free himself. The slender, sticky fingers of depression had tightened around his throat, allowing only alcohol to pass.

After some time, a maid stood by the bed, whispering that the bath was ready, nervously glancing at the sleeping prince, afraid of waking him up. Y/N thanked and dismissed her, then leaned in and kissed her brother's forehead again.

"Aegon..." she began softly, close to his ear. "Wake up, I have strawberries for you."

He furrowed his brow, feeling her hair tickle his face. At first, he thought it was a dream or a drunken hallucination, but when he felt the urge to sneeze, he wiped his face with his hand. When he opened his heavy eyelids and saw how bright it was, he pulled the pillow over his head.

"I said no one was to come in," he muttered, his voice muffled by the pillow. "I'll have you killed for this."

"It's nice to see you too, considering I haven't seen you in over a week," she replied, sitting back on his bed and placing the breakfast she brought on the table beside him.

Hearing the familiar voice and wanting to ensure it wasn't a drunken hallucination, Aegon removed the pillow from his face, clutching it to his chest. From squinted eyes, his violet gaze spotted a well-known figure.

"Y/N?" he asked hoarsely, his voice betraying that he'd only spoken to chase away servants in the past days.

"Yes, it's me," she nodded. "And if you still want to kill me, you'll have to get out of bed, which I doubt you can do."

Aegon sighed, more of a grunt of dissatisfaction. He wanted to cover his face with the pillow again, but his sister took it and easily pulled it from his arms.

"Did you come here just to make my life more miserable?" he groaned, looking at her with displeasure.

"I came to stop what you thought was the best solution," Y/N explained. "I brought you breakfast and a hot bath."

"I don't want breakfast or a bath," Aegon replied, turning onto his other side. "And you can leave. Tell mother I'm not dead yet."

"I'm not leaving until you get out of bed," she informed him, staring at his back.

"Then enjoy your stay," he muttered, closing his eyes again.

Y/N sighed. She knew it might be hard, but in a few days, she had almost forgotten her brother's character. And Aegon's character was sometimes the textbook definition of a Targaryen.

"I came here because I want to help you," Y/N began, feeling a lump in her throat. "No one talks to each other, and when they do, it's just some fucking formalities. Aemond flies on Vhagar every day, Helaena spends hours in the garden with her books, Rhaenyra has been on Dragonstone since the funeral, mother is banging with Cole at every turn, and I don't even know if you're alive," she said in one breath, feeling tears prickling her eyes. Only when she said it all out loud did she realize what was happening. It wasn't just about informing Aegon; it was about making herself understand. The truth hurt her even more than she expected.

Hearing his sister's trembling and upset voice, Aegon sighed and turned onto his back, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. Only now could his sister see his full appearance. It was the image of a boy deep in mourning and struggling with unimaginable pain.

For a moment, they exchanged looks in silence until Aegon glanced at the nightstand beside his bed.

"Did you bring strawberries?"

She reached for the plate and placed it on the bed next to her brother. Aegon weakly lifted his hand and took one, eating it whole, including the stem.

"Croissants with filling?" he asked, chewing. Y/N nodded again.

"Nut and chocolate," she answered. Aegon silently took a croissant and slowly began to eat.

Y/N quickly wiped her cheeks as two single tears escaped from the corners of her eyes. The young prince looked at his sister, who also seemed different than he remembered from a few days ago. Her hair was still neatly combed, with a few small braids woven into it. The dark red dress, which he thought he had seen her wear before, now seemed to hang a bit loosely on her shoulders and wrinkle at the stomach. The color of the dress reminded him of the bloody cuticles around her nails, which she must have bitten out of nerves. Her face, still beautiful, was now paler than usual, almost as white as her hair. Her swollen eyes lacked their usual sparkle, and her lips seemed to have completely forgotten what a smile was.

"How are you feeling?" he asked after a moment when he had finished eating. Y/N pushed the plate closer to him, and as he reached for another croissant, she only shrugged.

"I'm sad. And I sleep poorly," she replied, staring out the window.

"You know, poppy milk—", "I won't drink it," she interrupted him.

Aegon raised his hands in a defensive gesture, taking another bite of the croissant.

"And you?" she asked, looking at him. "How are you feeling?"

He also shrugged.

"I don't even know. Now I think I feel nothing," he said, looking back at her. "Most of the time I feel nothing, except when a wave of sadness hits, and then I cry like a child until I fall asleep again."

Y/N nodded silently. She could tell that Aegon had spent many hours crying.

He put the last piece of croissant in his mouth and reached for a strawberry, handing it to his sister. She took it and ate it, nodding with appreciation.

"Not bad, right?" Aegon said, seeing her reaction. "Unusually sweet for this time of year."

Y/N let out an involuntary snort, lowering her head. Their father was dead, the country was without a king, the family was falling apart, and this idiot was talking about how great the strawberries were.

"They really are good, I don't know what you mean," he replied, taking the last strawberry and popping it into his mouth. The girl smiled, for the first time in a long while, then looked at her brother.

"I miss you, you know?"

"I'm not dead yet," he said sarcastically, rubbing his face with his hands. Y/N set the plate aside, and Aegon extended his arm toward her, silently inviting a hug. The girl shook her head and stood up.

"Maybe I miss you, but not enough to hug you after so many days without a bath," she replied, nodding her head towards the bathroom.

"You've got to be kidding," he snorted, but she shook her head again and pointed to the bathroom. Aegon sighed and slid off the bed, looking at her reproachfully the entire time. When he stood, the sheet slipped off completely, and he, naked and unbothered, walked unsteadily toward the bathroom. Y/N asked the servants to change his bedding and clean the room while she locked herself in the bathroom with him. As he sat in the water, she perched on the edge of the tub, rolling up the sleeves of her dress.

She reached for the nearby comb and slowly began to untangle his matted hair. They both remained silent, as words were completely unnecessary at that moment. After a while, she put the comb down and picked up the sponge, wetting it and pouring water over his hair. Aegon closed his eyes and tilted his head forward.

Y/N grabbed the soap and lathered it in her hands, adding a few drops of lavender oil. Aegon smiled as the familiar, pleasant scent filled the air, while she began to wash his hair. He sat there with his eyes closed, allowing his sister to take care of him. Aegon felt that of everyone in the family, only Y/N truly cared about him. Despite being the second youngest sibling, just after Helaena, he had always gotten along best with her. They were almost inseparable, always sitting together at feasts, stuffing sweets into their pockets to eat later in the garden when they managed to escape the table. Rhaenyra, their half-sister, was always the oldest and most composed. Aemond, younger than Aegon, was calm and collected but could stab a knife into someone’s neck without blinking if provoked. Helaena lived in her own world, surrounded by books, flowers, and maesters who had tried to help her ever since they noticed something was off with the growing princess. Aegon was often irreformable, acting and speaking first and thinking later. When he was younger, he was incredibly unruly, the mastermind behind every wild idea that Y/N almost always eagerly supported. The young princess loved her brother, who always tried to make her smile. Aegon loved his sister and knew that of all the people in the castle, she was the only one he would kill for and die for either.

Young prince winced quietly when Y/N, massaging his tense shoulders, ran her thumb over a particularly tight muscle.

"You're as hard as a rock," she said, continuing to massage his back. Aegon smiled to himself.

"Not quite yet," he joked.

She rolled her eyes and soaked the sponge again, rinsing the soap off his back with warm water. As she got up to stoke the fire, Aegon submerged himself in the water, washing the soap off himself and his hair. After a moment, he sat up straight and wiped his face off, leaning on the sides of the tub. He silently watched his sister, whose silhouette was highlighted by the flickering fire in the fireplace. Her white, slightly wavy hair cascaded down her back. The young prince smiled and bit his lip. Blood of my blood.

When Y/N finished tending to the fire, she stood up and dusted off her hands. She looked up, feeling her brother's gaze on her. He watched her in silence.

"Care to join?" he asked, glancing at the tub before looking back at her.

She shook her head, stepping closer and looking at the murky water. "I think I'll pass this time."

Aegon extended his hand toward her, and she gave him hers, which he pressed to his lips, planting a wet kiss on her skin. She smiled at his gesture.

"I'll go dismiss the servants," she said, stroking his cheek. "Make sure you wash away all the sadness."

The princess left the bathroom and returned to the chambers. They looked much better now, with two servants finishing changing the bed linens. When they were done, she thanked and dismissed them. She approached the large wardrobe, looking for clean clothes for her brother. She planned to get him outside for a walk, even if just a short one.

She placed the clothes on a chair and sat on the bed, running her hand over the freshly made bedding. Shortly after, Aegon emerged from the bathroom, not bothering to cover himself with even a towel.

When he stood in the doorway, Y/N involuntarily looked up at him. She looked him up and down, causing Aegon to smile.

"Like what you see?" he asked, approaching the bed without taking his eyes off her.

"I'm just checking if you washed yourself properly," she retorted, lifting her head to meet his gaze when he stood right in front of her.

Aegon still wore a faint smile as he cupped her face, his thumb stroking her cheek. His pale skin had gained a bit of color from the hot bath, but he had goosebumps from the cool, fresh breeze coming through the windows. The dark circles under his eyes were still visible, but his gaze was now clear and certain, darkening as he was looking at his sister.

"I missed you too," he said after a moment of silence, during which they exchanged looks. He brushed his thumb over her lower lip. "Make love with me."

It wasn't a command or even a request. It was a quiet murmur filled with desperation, almost sounding like a plea. Aegon needed to feel her warmth, needed to feel something other than the alcoholic breath of death that placed cold kisses on him.

She silently stood from the bed, and before he could say anything, she touched his cheek and kissed him. Aegon wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, returning the kiss. Blindly, he started to fumble with the ties of her dress, but seeing his struggle, she began undressing herself. He cupped her face in his hands, kissing her tenderly. When she loosened her corset, Aegon grabbed the bottom of her gown and quickly pulled it over her head, tossing it aside. She shivered at the sudden chill but soon felt Aegon's warm body against her skin. He smiled into her mouth.

"You're so soft," he whispered between kisses, holding her tightly as if he wanted to lock her inside his ribcage. "Go on, lie down."

She obeyed, positioning herself comfortably on a pile of pillows. Aegon hovered over her, kissing her gently. Their hands tangled in each other's hair, touching and grasping every bit of skin they could reach. Lips swollen from kissing released soft sighs and moans mixed with tender words.

Aegon could be gentle, delicate, and caring. He wasn't like this with the whores he sometimes brought to his chambers to relieve himself and kill boredom. But he loved his sister dearly and would never harm her.

The young prince couldn't remember the first time his sister came to his chambers and stayed the night. It was probably before their father's illness. One autumn, Aegon caught a terrible cold. He couldn't sleep at night, and his cough kept the entire western wing of the castle awake. One night, a sleepy Y/N went to his room, silently took the nearby laying ointment, sat on his hips, and began rubbing it on his chest. Aegon, feverish, thought he was hallucinating. But when he woke up the next morning and saw his naked sister asleep in his bed, he knew the events of the previous night hadn't been a fever dream.

Now, too, Aegon had to think twice if the soft body in his arms was really there or just a trick of his drunken mind.

"Are you real?" he whispered, pulling away from her lips and looking at her face.

"You'll have to find out for yourself," Y/N replied just as softly.

Aegon smiled involuntarily and hurriedly disappeared between her thighs.

At dinner, not only Aegon's chair was empty. The chair next to his, Y/N's, was also vacant.

Aemond glanced sideways at his sister, who tried to hide her smile behind her hair. Otto looked at her as well, then at her mother.

"Helaena?" Alicent spoke, looking at the blushing face of her daughter. "Is something wrong?"

"Aegon is feeling much better," she said. The young princess knew this first because the garden she particularly liked was just below her brother's chambers, and the windows, this time, were wide open.

[moongirlcleo]

Waxing Tides

❤︎  tags and content: aphrodisiac wine, dub-con, drinking, oral sex m!receiving, riding, emotional sex, GoT Myth, Rafayel x f!Reader, sub Raf ❤︎  author note: check out all my fics by searching #moongirlcleo or on AO3

🔞NSFW content - Minors DNI 🔞 Dividers: @/omi.resources ©2025 moongirlcleo do not repost, copy, translate, or modify

It started with a visit. A quiet night, a little too much wine, and words that were never meant to be spoken aloud. Now the tide’s turned, and nothing between you feels quite still. He remembers more than he should. You give more than you planned. And somewhere between worship and ruin, something ancient wakes.

You find him exactly where you hoped you wouldn’t.

Mo Art Studio lies open, the heavy oak door unlatched just enough for sea breeze to curl inside and scatter red pigment dust across the wooden floor like blood powdered fine. The evening fog outside rolls in off Whitesand Bay, thick and silver-blue, brushing past your ankles as you step over the threshold. Somewhere in the distance, gulls cry into the dusk, but the sound barely touches this place.

He doesn’t hear you enter.

Rafayel sits cross-legged on the paint-stained floor, shirtless, spine slumped against a half-finished canvas as if it had caught him mid-collapse and decided to cradle him there. His dusky hair falls across one eye in loose waves, damp at the temples. A wine bottle—cheap, dark, already half gone—rests beside him, tipped at an angle like even it’s given up.

He hums something off-key, the kind of fragile melody that sounds like it once had words but lost them to saltwater long ago. His lips are stained dark, almost bruised-looking, and you can see the flush that rises from the hollow of his throat all the way to his cheekbones. He’s not fully drunk, but close enough to have drowned whatever self-control he usually wears like a second skin.

The room smells like him. Not just paint and ocean salt, but something older, something wilder: a storm that never reached land, a memory of copper and coral and candle wax. You don’t call his name. Not yet. You just watch, breath held, because something about this version of him feels unguarded in a way he never lets you see.

His hand moves lazily across the canvas behind him, fingers dragging lines of red that are more vein than brushstroke. The image is too abstract to place, all angles and aching color, but you recognize something in it. The curve of a jawline, the slant of your mouth. He’s painting you again. He always does this when he thinks you're not looking.

Then, without turning, he speaks.

"You came back."

The words are slurred around the edges, but soft, too. Not accusatory. Not surprised. Just tired. Maybe relieved. Maybe not.

"I wasn’t sure if you would. I left the door open in case."

You step closer, each movement swallowed by the thick silence inside the studio. His gaze flicks toward you then, slow, bleary, but unmistakably focused. Eyes blue and pale rose that catches the low light like glass.

"I was trying to get your mouth right," he says, tapping a smudge of red across the canvas, then bringing that same finger to his own lips like he’s testing something. "But it kept looking like it wanted to lie to me."

He smiles then, a crooked thing, vulnerable in a way that makes your ribs ache.

"Do you want a drink?" he asks, and when he reaches for the bottle, he nearly knocks it over entirely. His reflexes are slow but not gone- he catches it just in time, giggling softly as though the whole world has turned ridiculous around him and you’re the only real thing in the room.

"Sit with me," he says, patting the floor next to his thigh, palm still stained with pigment. "I promise not to bite unless you ask."

You sink to the floor beside him, your knees grazing the hem of a drop cloth that’s already soaked with forgotten pigments and old wine stains, the fabric stiff in places where his genius spilled out too fast for his brushes to catch. Rafayel watches you with that dreamy half-lidded stare, like he's not sure if you’re really here or just another vision bleeding out from the fumes of coral dust and alcohol and too many memories he refuses to paint in full.

You pick up the bottle he nearly spilled and hold it to the light, swirling the dregs like you’re appraising something rare and tragic.

"Raf, are you drinking the good stuff or just raiding the bargain shelf again?" you murmur, tilting the bottle toward him as though it contains answers he doesn't want to give. "Because if this is the same garbage you used to clean brushes last week, I should probably call a priest."

He gives a lazy grin, the kind that normally has just enough mischief to set your pulse skipping, but tonight it slips too easily into something softer, almost like a boy who’s been caught playing at being a man.

"Only the finest poison," he says, reaching up to steal the bottle from your hands, but you pull it just out of reach and raise an eyebrow, daring him to try harder.

He slumps back dramatically, one hand over his heart, the other flung to the side as if overcome with grief. "Cruel muse," he groans, the words slurred just enough to make the melodrama stick. "You come into my temple, interrupt my divine creation, and now you deny me communion. What’s next? Will you shatter my brushes, too?"

"You’d just paint with your fingers like a feral little sea goblin," you shoot back, nudging his thigh with your knee. "Don’t act like you’re not used to making a mess with your hands."

That lands. His eyes flick up to meet yours, and the grin that curls at the edge of his mouth this time is slower, darker, like the undertow tugging just beneath the surface.

"I only get messy when I’m inspired," he murmurs, voice dipping lower, the kind of tone that drips honey and danger in equal measure.

You hum thoughtfully, pretending to consider that like you haven’t already memorized the weight of his gaze when it gets like this.

"That so?" you ask, leaning in just enough that he can smell the salt still clinging to your skin, the citrus of whatever perfume you wore when you weren’t planning on being seen. "Because all I see right now is a drunken man-child covered in coral powder and regret."

His hand ghosts toward yours, not quite touching, fingers hovering close like he’s waiting for permission or maybe just trying to remember what it felt like the last time you reached for him first.

"And yet," he breathes, almost too softly, eyes fluttering to your mouth, "you’re still here."

You smile then, letting the silence between you stretch out, thick with things unsaid and undone.

"Maybe I’m just curious what a sea god looks like when he begs."

***

He blinks at your words like you struck a match too close to oil, the grin slipping just slightly, enough for you to see the tremble underneath, the way his breath catches in his throat like it’s snagged on something sharp and half-buried. For a moment, he just stares, lips parted, flush high on his cheekbones, eyes glinting with something far more dangerous than wine.

You don’t move. You’ve learned how this works. Rafayel’s truths are creatures that surface only when you hold still and let the tide bring them in on its own.

His mouth opens, closes. His hand curls against his chest, not dramatically this time, but with a kind of restless panic, like he’s trying to quiet the drumbeat behind his ribs.

"You used to hum," he says suddenly, the words tumbling out all at once with no filter and no pretense. "You used to sit at the edge of the tide pools and hum that stupid little song to keep the crabs away."

He laughs, breathless and hoarse, but the sound is cracked at the edges, bleeding memory.

"I remember the way you smelled. Like sunlight in cold water. I remember your hair in my hands. I remember what it felt like to die with your name on my tongue, even though you hadn’t been born yet."

Your heart lurches. You’ve heard this before, in dreams that tasted of salt and summer wind, in nightmares where the sea wept through broken temples and your lungs ached with the weight of water and grief.

He shouldn’t remember that. You shouldn’t remember it either. But you do. Both of you do.

"I wasn’t supposed to say that," Rafayel mutters, blinking fast like he’s waking up, like he’s realizing the dam’s already broken and the ocean is swallowing the studio whole. "You weren’t..."

He trails off and looks at you then. Truly looks. And something inside him folds, just like that. The wine is still in his system, but clarity strikes him like lightning. Swift and raw.

"Fuck."

It’s not anger. It’s surrender.

He pulls at his shirt, already half undone and stained with pigment, clinging to the sweat along his collarbone. He shrugs it off without grace. The fabric falls away like it offends him, as if skin-to-skin is the only way to be real now.

"I can’t wear lies anymore," he says, dragging his fingers down his own chest like he’s trying to wipe away the centuries he spent pretending he didn’t remember you. His voice drops to a whisper. His eyes are fever-bright, fixed on yours. "If you remember too, then I don’t have to be gentle anymore, do I?"

Your breath hitches. The room goes quiet except for the wind dragging its fingers across the windows, and the slow, deliberate sound of Rafayel unbuckling the belt at his waist, silver clinking softly like a ritual bell.

"Tell me you remember," he murmurs. He kneels in front of you now, hands trembling not with hesitation but hunger. The kind born from waiting too long. "Tell me you know who you are to me. Tell me so I don’t have to pretend anymore."

You do not speak at first. You let the moment stretch and bend between you, heavy with salt-thick air and the scent of paint still wet on canvas. The low hum of the sea outside the studio windows rolls like breath through an open mouth, and Rafayel waits, kneeling before you with his belt halfway undone and his pulse visible at the base of his throat.

He is shaking, not with fear but with something else, something older than desire, something hungrier than touch.

“I shouldn’t be like this,” he whispers, voice rough and splintered with something too close to shame. “I should be quiet. Gentle. Grateful just to be near you again.”

His hands fall to his lap, and he stares at them like they are stained with things you cannot see. Slowly, he pulls at the belt until the leather slithers loose in his hands and drops to the floor. The buckle hits the wood with a dull metallic sound, final and low, like a heartbeat held underwater too long.

“I bought that wine from a man in N109,” he continues, eyes unfocused as he speaks. “Said it was a blend for inspiration. Something to loosen the spirit. Didn’t mention it would make me want to fuck the stars out of the sky.”

You blink, startled by the bluntness of it, but his expression is far from crude. If anything, he looks reverent. His breath trembles on the way out of his lungs, and he leans forward on his hands, the movement slow and unsteady, like gravity itself has grown heavier with each passing second.

“It’s your fault,” he says, eyes lifting again to find yours. There is no mask this time, no playful smirk, no sly tilt of his mouth that hides what he truly feels. “You walked in and the wine pulled at everything I’ve buried. Every ache. Every memory. Every need.”

His fingers reach for the buttons at his waistband, slow and unsure. Not seductive. Not coy. Just desperate to feel less like a lie. The tension in his body rises with every inch of skin revealed, as if each layer shed brings him closer to some irreversible edge.

“I remember what your voice sounded like underwater,” he says softly, not looking at you now but at some phantom image just beyond your shoulder, something ancient and sacred and probably not real. “You sang to me once. Not here.. Somewhere deeper. I think I watched you die with that sound still in my ears.”

He swallows hard, his throat working around the weight of emotion thickening with every breath. His pants hang loose now at his hips, the sharp lines of his abdomen catching what little light filters in from the studio’s narrow windows.

“You’re warm,” he says, reaching out as though you are the only thing that can tether him to this moment. His palm hovers just above your knee. He does not touch you yet. “The world is always cold without you in it.”

You can see the strain in him now, not just the tension of arousal but the ache of restraint. The wine has taken root beneath his skin, blooming through his veins like heat rising from a volcanic trench, and he’s trying to hold it back out of respect, out of fear, out of reverence.

“I would never hurt you,” he says, voice barely a breath now, lips parted as though already tasting something forbidden. “But I am not entirely myself tonight. I want too much. I feel too much. I remember too clearly. And you look like you did the day I lost you.”

He presses the heel of his hand to his forehead, panting now, sweat clinging to his hairline, his body trembling with restraint. His hips shift subtly forward and his half-undone trousers betray just how badly the wine has kindled something he cannot smother.

“If I touch you,” he whispers, raw and reverent, “I won’t be able to stop.”

You reach for the bottle.

Not to soothe or to tease. You do it slowly, deliberately, letting your fingers curl around the neck of the dark glass. His eyes track the motion, and though he doesn't speak, something in his posture tightens as if the air around you has grown heavier, charged with a promise neither of you has dared to say aloud yet.

The wine is still warm from where his lips touched it. You can feel the heat, faint and lingering, like the echo of a kiss passed from glass to mouth. You tip it back, unbothered by the taste, which is bitter and strange and slightly metallic, as if it has been steeped in crushed petals and seawater and some unnamed thing that should not burn as gently as it does.

You drink, slow and unflinching, letting the liquid roll over your tongue and coat your throat, and when you lower the bottle again, you do not smile. You only look at him, and the silence that settles between you now feels different, no longer cautious or hesitant, but waiting.

Rafayel’s pupils dilate. You see it happen. The faint shimmer of pink and blue swallowed by widening black, hunger made visible behind his gaze. The tremble in his hands intensifies, not just from arousal, though that pulses visibly beneath the surface, but from the gravity of what your gesture means.

You want this. You want him.

He exhales, and it comes out like a moan cut short, strangled by disbelief and lust and centuries of restraint snapping thread by thread.

"You're sure," he says, and it isn't a question, not really. It is awe made sound. It is worship.

You nod, still silent, because there is no need to answer with words when the wine on your lips already speaks for you.

He rises onto his knees, unsteady, a low sound building in his throat as though something inside him is being loosed, something wild and sacred that has waited far too long in the dark. He strips the rest of the way in near silence, every movement reverent, as though shedding the last of his clothing is not for seduction but for honesty. When he finally bares himself almost completely, save for his trousers, he does not preen or pose. He simply kneels there, exposed and trembling, the sharp lines of his body bathed in moonlight diffused through fog and glass.

His skin is flushed and radiant, marred only by streaks of red pigment where his fingers had once wandered in distraction, and his chest rises and falls with shallow, uneven breaths.

"You don't know what you're inviting," he says softly, though the words lack conviction, as if he wants you to disagree. As if he wants you to pull him under.

"I would break myself to make you remember," he whispers, the wine thickening his voice into honey. "But if you're here now, if you’re really mine, I won’t have to be so dramatic."

His hand reaches for yours, tentative, the barest brush of skin to skin. And when you do not flinch, when you let your fingers slip between his, his whole body trembles like the sea finally being allowed to crash against the shore.

The moment your fingers slip between his, something in him fractures.

It is not a clean break. It is the cracking of an old cathedral window that has held too long against the pressure of time and storm, the splintering of something sacred that cannot bear to be quiet anymore. Rafayel exhales with a sound that is almost a sob, a sharp, gasping breath punched from deep in his chest, and then he is moving before you can think, before you can even process the way his hand tightens around yours like he’s terrified you might disappear again.

He surges forward, not graceful, not poised, all that practiced elegance abandoned in favor of pure need, and when his mouth finds yours, it is not soft or careful. It is hungry. Desperate. Starved in the way only something immortal could be, something that has waited through lifetimes for a single moment of contact and now cannot be asked to wait a second more.

His lips crush against yours with a fevered urgency, mouth already parting to taste the remnants of wine on your tongue, and his moan is raw, nearly pained, like your kiss physically hurts him in the best possible way. His body presses close, skin burning hot and slick with heat, and you feel the full weight of him shudder against you, every muscle drawn tight with restraint he is no longer trying to keep.

"You feel the same," he breathes against your mouth, voice ragged and reverent. "Exactly the same. Gods, your mouth... your soul..."

He cannot stop touching you. His hands move as if possessed, sliding over your arms, your back, your waist, fingers curling and clutching and learning every contour like he is memorizing you through his skin alone. His lips break from yours only long enough to trail down the line of your jaw, to your throat, where he lingers with an open-mouthed kiss that borders on a bite, breath shuddering against your skin.

"You have no idea what you've done," he mutters, voice hoarse, lips brushing the hollow of your throat with each word. "You touched me and now I can't think. I can't stop. I need... I need—"

He breaks off with another sound, this one lower, rougher, buried in the space between your collarbones as he kisses down the slope of your shoulder with frantic devotion, hands now gripping your hips like you are the only real thing left in a world made of smoke and memory.

There is nothing theatrical left in him now. No poetry. No smirking charm. Just a man, trembling and burning and undone beneath the weight of his own longing.

His kisses grow sloppier. Less precise. The kind of open-mouthed worship that says I remember you and I need you and I would drown in you all at once. His hips shift forward against yours without rhythm, without grace, just a slow grind of fevered pressure and shuddering tension, as if some part of him believes that friction alone might be enough to unravel this ache that has lived in him for lifetimes.

You thread your fingers into his hair, not to control him, not even to guide him, but simply to feel the tremble that travels through his entire body when you do. His breath catches again, stutters against your collarbone, and when he pulls back, just enough to meet your eyes, he looks absolutely ruined.

Blushed from chest to cheekbones. Lips red. Eyes blown wide and glassy with heat.

"Please," he whispers. The word cracks, not from shame but from how badly he means it. "I need you to... I need—"

He does not finish the sentence. He does not have to.

Instead, with hands that shake only slightly, Rafayel takes yours and brings them down, lower, pressing your palms over the heated flush of his abdomen. Then lower still.

You feel it immediately. The press of him, or rather, the press of both, firm and flushed and twitching beneath the weight of your touch, barely concealed by the loosened fabric of his pants. He’s not asking anymore. He’s offering himself up like a sacrifice. Like a secret he’s been dying to show you and never had the courage to name.

His breath shudders out of him in a broken sound, half-gasp and half-prayer, and his fingers tighten over yours, holding you there.

"You don’t know what it’s like," he chokes, voice barely a whisper now, thick with wine and want. "Having this... needing this, and not being allowed to ask. Always pretending I’m whole without you. Always pretending I can wait."

You apply the faintest pressure and he bucks forward without thinking, a soft cry escaping him like it was pulled from the deepest part of his chest. He is already hard, already leaking, the heat of him seeping through the thin fabric as if he is trying to brand the shape of his desperation into your skin.

“I dream about your hands,” he murmurs, lashes fluttering as his head tips forward, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “On me. Holding me. Telling me I’m still yours.”

He is panting now, hips twitching in tiny, involuntary movements beneath your touch, as if the need is too much to contain and the act of restraint is physically hurting him. He tries to speak again, but the words falter, lost to another moan, high and broken and helpless.

“If you tell me to stop, I will,” he whispers, still holding your hands in place like a man caught between obedience and ruin. “But if you don’t... I will beg. I will fall apart in your hands and thank you for every second of it.”

You do not speak at first. You only shift your palms slightly, dragging them lower with unbearable care, the movement slow enough to make him gasp. Your thumbs brush across the fabric that barely hides him, the thin linen damp with the evidence of his arousal, and both of them twitch beneath your touch in a way that steals the last of his composure.

He whines. Truly whines. A soft, breathy sound that slips past his lips like he is ashamed of it, but too far gone to care. His hips jerk, a shiver rippling down his spine, and he nearly collapses forward, pressing his forehead to your shoulder as if your steadiness might anchor him through the trembling quake of his body.

"You’re not even doing anything," he breathes, voice thin and wrecked and sweet. "You’re just... touching me."

You smile, slow and cruel and fond, and let your fingers trace one of the rigid lengths beneath his pants, just once, just enough to make him moan into your neck like he is trying to bite it back and failing. He is panting again, hips caught between stillness and the desperate urge to thrust up into your hand like a starving thing, and it only makes your next words come quieter, softer, more dangerous for their calm.

"Take them off."

He freezes.

Your hands still, but do not pull away, still cradling him through the fabric, still reminding him who holds the moment now. He lifts his head, barely, enough to look up at you through strands of hair clinging to his forehead, flushed all the way down to his collarbones, mouth parted in awe.

"What?" he asks, even though he heard you.

Your fingers curl a little tighter, not enough to hurt, only enough to remind him how good your touch already feels through layers he no longer deserves to wear.

"You heard me," you say, quiet and clear. "If you want me to keep touching you, Rafayel... then take them off."

He sucks in a breath like it hurts, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he rocks forward again, his body instinctively chasing friction even now. He looks overwhelmed. He looks ruined. But most of all, he looks obedient.

He rises to his feet slowly, every movement unsteady with arousal and tension, and his hands go to the waistband of his pants. You do not help him. You only sit there and watch.

First one side slides down, then the other, and he peels them off with a kind of reverence, not looking away from you as he bares himself fully. There is no shame in it. Only devotion. He is not trying to impress you. He is not even trying to seduce you. He is simply showing you what already belongs to you.

His body is lean and pale and flushed, the same pigments from his fingers streaked faintly across his thighs, and when the last of his clothing falls to the floor, he steps forward, breath shaking in his chest.

Both of them are stiff and leaking, the sheer size of him made more overwhelming by the doubled arousal, twitching with every heartbeat, helpless in their response to your gaze alone. Rafayel stands there, naked and needy, and you watch the way his hands twitch at his sides like he wants to cover himself but knows better.

“Is this what you wanted?” he asks, not because he doubts it, but because he needs to hear it from your lips. “Is it enough?”

You look up at him slowly, and you smile.

You rise onto your knees in front of him, the floor beneath you rough with the scattered traces of his art, the air between you thick with heat and breath and something older than lust, something shaped like worship. Rafayel stares down at you with a look that borders on disbelief, lips parted, cheeks flushed, hands trembling faintly at his sides like he does not know where to put them, or if he’s allowed to touch at all.

You reach out and curl your fingers around both of them, warm and rigid and slick at the tips, and his knees nearly buckle at the first contact. He makes a sound high in his throat, like a choked moan that never finished forming, his hips jerking forward instinctively before he catches himself and stands perfectly still, panting like he has run miles through memory to find you here at the end of it.

"Gods," he breathes, his voice nothing more than air and ache. "You’re really... you’re touching me, you’re..."

You look up at him, slow and steady, and your voice comes low, honey-thick with everything you’ve never had the chance to say until now.

"I’ve wanted this for so long," you murmur, your grip tightening just slightly, just enough to make him gasp. "You don’t even know how many nights I’ve thought about this. About you. About having you like this. In my hands, begging me without even realizing it."

His eyes flutter shut, jaw slack, a moan spilling out of him unbidden as you stroke along the length of both shafts in tandem, adjusting your grip until the movements are fluid and deliberate, letting your thumbs tease just beneath the heads until his hips twitch with every pass.

"You think I didn’t dream of this too?" you continue, leaning in now, your mouth brushing against one of them without quite taking it in. "You think I didn’t lie awake remembering the way you looked at me like I was already yours, even before you ever touched me?"

Rafayel sobs out something that might be your name, or might be a curse, or might be a prayer, and then your lips part and you take the first one into your mouth, slow and indulgent, just enough to feel the way he shakes beneath the weight of that pleasure.

He gasps sharply, hands fisting at his sides as he tries not to move, tries not to thrust, his body locked in place by the effort it takes to behave, but his legs are already trembling and his breath is nothing but broken little sounds spilling into the charged air between you.

"Please," he whispers, voice wrecked, eyes wide and wet when he dares to look down at you. "I can’t... I’m trying to stay still but it feels so good, you feel so..."

You hum around him, slow and deep, the vibration making him cry out again, high and needy and helpless, and when you pull back just slightly, you keep stroking both shafts with a grip that borders on cruel, teasing the edge but never giving him enough to fall.

"I don’t want you to stay still," you murmur, voice low and sultry against the heat of him. "I want you to fall apart for me. I want to see what you look like when you let go."

His knees give just a little, his thighs shaking as he grabs for your shoulder, not to guide, not to control, but simply to ground himself in the fact that you are real and this is happening and he is allowed to be loved like this.

"You’re going to break me," he says, barely audible, eyes wild and glassy and full of you.

You take him deeper this time, the second shaft pulsing hot in your hand while the first slides past your lips, slick with the taste of him, your tongue curling just right along the underside until his whole body jolts like a wave has crashed through him from the inside out. He is gasping now, truly gasping, chest heaving with every breath, his fingers gripping your shoulder tight enough to bruise, though he does not pull you closer, does not force a thing.

He wouldn’t dare.

You hum again, slow and indulgent, letting him feel the shape of your mouth and the patience of your pace, letting him know that you want this, that this isn’t about breaking him quickly, it’s about savoring the way he falls. The hand working his second cock doesn’t falter, matching the rhythm of your mouth with a steady tempo that keeps him trembling, keeps him teetering right on the edge of losing himself.

His head tips back and he groans, loud and needy, a sound dragged from somewhere deep and raw and aching. His thighs quiver beneath your touch and he is barely holding himself up now, sweat slick along his chest, his belly tight with restraint he is seconds away from losing.

"You’re gonna kill me," he pants, voice shaking, cracking right down the middle. "You’re gonna make me come like this and I haven’t even... I haven’t felt you yet, I haven’t been inside you, please–"

You suck him deeper again, slow and smooth, and his moan turns into a high, broken whimper that splits open into something almost desperate.

"Please," he gasps, voice raw and thin, like he’s trying not to cry. "Please, I need to feel you, I need to, I can't–"

He bucks forward slightly, barely a twitch of his hips, but it betrays everything he’s trying to hold back. The ache in him is no longer just arousal. It’s longing. It's the need to be as close to you as a body can allow, to sink into you and forget where he ends and you begin, to feel you wrapped around him in a way that says you are mine and I am yours and nothing else matters.

"Let me," he pleads, his voice dissolving into breath and heat. "Please let me fuck you. Please, I need to be inside you, I need to feel you, I need–"

He breaks off with a whimper, his forehead pressed to the top of your head, his whole body shaking under your hands, cock twitching in your mouth as you keep your rhythm steady, still patient, still deliberate.

"Please," he whispers again, softer now, like a final prayer. "I’ll be good. I swear. I’ll be so good. Just let me feel you. Please."

You release him with a soft breath, the drag of your mouth leaving him shuddering, and his hands hover like he wants to reach for you, but still doesn’t dare. The wine has made him pliant, has loosened the cage of his control, but not even that is enough to make him touch you without permission. He is waiting for it. Needing it. And you give it to him, not with pity, not with gentleness, but with something far more intimate.

With yes.

"Lie back," you say, your voice low and certain, and the way he obeys, the way he immediately shifts to the floor with his back against the cool wood and his limbs trembling beneath him, makes something hot and possessive bloom in your chest. You rise to your feet slowly, letting him watch, letting him see every movement, every breath, every shift of fabric as you begin to undress in front of him.

His eyes follow your hands like he’s being hypnotized. His lips are parted, flushed and wet, and there’s something wild in his gaze now, something animal and reverent and barely contained.

"You wanted to feel me?" you murmur as you tug your shirt over your head, letting it drop to the floor beside you. "You begged for it. On your knees. Like you’ve been dreaming of this moment longer than I’ve been alive."

"I have," he breathes, his voice cracked and reverent, eyes wide as you peel off your last layer of clothing and step over him, bare and glowing in the half-light. "I have dreamed of you like this for centuries. You have no idea what it’s done to me."

"You’re going to show me," you tell him, sinking to straddle his hips in one fluid motion, your knees pressing to the floor on either side of his trembling thighs, your hands bracing against his chest where his heart thunders like something wild caught in a cage. "You’re going to feel me now, Rafayel. No more pretending. No more waiting. I’m done watching you fall apart next to me when you could be falling apart underneath me."

He moans, a high, fragile sound that shudders out of him as your heat presses down against both of him at once, his cocks slipping between your folds as you grind down slowly, deliberately, not taking him in yet, just letting him feel your warmth, your wetness, the unbearable closeness of what he’s been aching for.

"You feel that?" you whisper, leaning down to kiss along his jaw, your mouth brushing over skin that’s flushed and damp with sweat. "That’s what you’ve been begging for. That’s what you cried over. And now you’re going to earn every inch of it."

He arches up into you, panting, nearly sobbing now, one hand finally rising to cradle your waist, the other clenching into the floor as if it’s the only thing keeping him grounded.

"Please," he whimpers, voice barely more than a breath. "Please, I can’t... I need to be inside you. I need you to take me. I need to feel all of you."

You smile against his skin, your voice a low hum as you press your lips to the curve of his ear.

"Then stop begging," you murmur. "And start worshiping."

You lift your hips just enough to guide him in, the angle slow and deliberate, your hand wrapped around the base of one of his cocks to line him up, and the moment the first thick head slips inside, Rafayel loses the last thread of his restraint.

He surges upward with a strangled groan, his hips bucking up into you before you can even take him fully, his second shaft grinding helplessly along your folds, slick and hot and throbbing with the pulse of someone whose control has completely fractured. The stretch is intense, sudden, but you’re ready for it, soaked from the teasing, open from the wanting, your body aching to be filled and taken and devoured.

"Fuck," he gasps, his voice ragged and high, both hands suddenly clutching your waist like you’re the only thing tethering him to the earth. "You feel, oh gods, you feel too good, I can’t, I can’t go slow."

"Then don’t," you breathe, teeth grazing your bottom lip as you sink the rest of the way onto him, both shafts pressed deep inside you, stretching you open in a way that feels impossible, overwhelming, perfect. "Don’t hold back, Rafayel. Fuck me like you’ve wanted to since Lemuria drowned."

And that’s all it takes.

He loses it.

Rafayel bucks into you with a force that rattles the air between you, a loud cry ripping from his throat as his back arches off the floor, sweat streaking down his chest, muscles tense with the strength of his thrusts. Your thighs burn as you ride him, grinding down with every bounce, meeting him halfway as the studio echoes with the wet slap of skin on skin and the breathless litany of moans pouring from his lips.

There is no rhythm now, not really. Just the frantic, desperate collision of two bodies trying to erase centuries of distance in a single moment. Every time he thrusts up into you, you cry out, your nails raking down his chest, and he loves it, his head thrown back, teeth clenched, eyes squeezed shut like the pleasure is too much to bear.

"You’re mine," he gasps, his voice barely a whisper under the strain. "You’ve always been mine. You were made for me. Fuck, made to ride me like this, to take both of me, to feel me come inside you, I can’t, I need—"

You slam down onto him harder, grinding your hips as you do, and he lets out a sound that is almost a scream, his cock twitching violently inside you as his hands fly to your hips, dragging you down onto him again and again, harder, faster, his pace growing erratic as the pleasure mounts.

Your head falls back, mouth open, every nerve lit with fire as his cocks pound into you, filling you so completely it feels like you might split in two, and yet you never want it to stop, you want more, you want him to break you.

"Raf," you gasp, voice hoarse and wrecked, "You feel so fucking good, you’re so deep, I can feel you everywhere."

"I’m gonna come," he chokes, his entire body trembling beneath you, thrusts turning wild, out of rhythm, driven by need and nothing else. "I’m gonna come inside you and you’re gonna take it, you’re gonna feel all of me, I can’t stop, I can’t—"

You lean forward and press your forehead to his, sweat mixing with sweat, your breath tangled in his, your bodies locked together in this spiral of heat and chaos and overwhelming release.

"Then give it to me," you whisper. "Come for me. Come in me."

And he does.

Rafayel’s cry breaks the silence like a storm, a sobbing, shuddering sound that echoes through the studio as he thrusts up into you one final time, hips jerking violently as both cocks spasm inside you, hot and thick and overwhelming. You feel him fill you, pulse after pulse, the heat of his release spreading deep and fast as he clutches you against him like he’s afraid you’ll vanish mid-climax.

His body trembles, eyes wet, mouth open in a silent moan as he rides the wave, and you hold him through it, grinding against him as your own orgasm crests and crashes, your walls clenching tight around him, dragging every last drop from his trembling frame.

He breathes your name like a prayer, over and over, lost, desperate, worshiping.

***

For a long moment, the only sound in the studio is your breathing, loud and uneven and tangled with his, like the two of you are still trying to remember how to exist as separate bodies after the collision. Rafayel is slack beneath you, every muscle in his body trembling with the aftermath, his chest rising and falling fast beneath your hands as you rest against him, both of you flushed and sticky and soaked in sweat.

His arms are around you now, not gripping, just holding, loose and reverent, as if he’s afraid you’ll shatter if he touches you too hard, or maybe as if he’s the one who might fall apart if you pull away too soon.

"Fuck," he whispers, voice hoarse and barely there, like the breath was stolen from his lungs and hasn’t quite found its way back. "I’ve never come like that before. I didn’t even know I could."

You laugh, quiet and breathless, forehead pressed to his shoulder, your skin still humming with the aftershocks of what you’ve both done, the way he filled you, the way he came undone, the way your bodies moved like they had always known how.

"Of course you didn’t," you murmur, lips brushing his collarbone. "You’ve never had me before."

That earns you a soft groan, part embarrassment and part disbelief, and he shifts beneath you, his hips jerking slightly as you’re reminded, quite suddenly, that he’s still buried inside you. Both of him. Still hard, or nearly so, still twitching, still impossibly sensitive.

He whimpers, hands tightening just a little at your waist as the movement sends a ripple of overstimulation up his spine.

"Please," he breathes, voice cracking. "Don’t move yet. I don’t think I can handle it."

You smile against his skin, wicked and warm, and you shift your hips just slightly anyway, just enough to feel him gasp and twitch inside you, his whole body flinching as the sensation courses through him like lightning.

"You’re still hard," you whisper, teasing now, your voice like velvet and smoke as you nuzzle into the side of his neck. "You came like a man possessed and you’re still hard. I think your body’s trying to tell me something."

He lets out a strangled sound, halfway between a laugh and a sob, his face buried in your hair, and you feel the shudder that rolls through him from head to toe.

"It’s the wine," he mutters, barely intelligible. "That damned N109 wine. I can’t think. I just feel you everywhere. Inside, around me, on me. I can’t—"

You clench around him, slow and deliberate, and he gasps, eyes flying open, lips parting as another helpless sound escapes him.

"Then feel me," you whisper, rocking your hips once, slow and smooth, grinding down against him as his fingers dig into your waist and his head thumps gently against the floorboards.

"I don’t think I can come again so soon," he says, almost laughing, breathless and trembling. "But if you keep doing that, I’ll try."

You shift again, rolling your hips once more, and he chokes on a moan, already ready again, already shaking beneath you.

"Good," you whisper, mouth brushing the edge of his jaw. "Because I’m not done with you yet."

[airybcby]

જ⁀♡⊹｡° guess second best is all i will know

( reo mikage x fem! reader )

♡ a/n — really wanted to write for reo again so enjoy!

♡ word count — 2.7k

♡ content — reo mikage x fem! reader, arranged marriage, loveless marriage, angst, kind of fluff towards the end, reader is a rich heiress, secret letters, switch of pov ( once it goes to reo's pov ), miscommunication, not proofread!

♡ synopsis — Being given away at your wedding was supposed to be joyous, something every little girl wished for at least once. But how were you supposed to be excited when Reo Mikage couldn't even write his own vows?

You didn't expect love.

Not when the marriage contract was signed before either of you had a chance to say no.

But you had hoped for kindness.

Maybe something gentle in the spaces between you. Maybe a hand held during dinner. Maybe someone who looked at you like they saw more than your family name.

But Reo Mikage never looked at you. Not really.

Not when you met him for the first time—his phone lighting up every thirty seconds, a small laugh under his breath as his thumbs flew across the screen. 

He’d nodded when you introduced yourself. Smiled, even. Said something like, “Nice to meet you,” with perfect manners and perfect teeth.

But his eyes were somewhere else.

You remember your father asking you afterward what you thought of him.

And you said, “He’s nice.”

Because it was easier than saying, “He didn’t really talk to me.”

On your wedding day, the gown fit perfectly.

It was made for you. Custom-stitched to flatter and shine.

Too bad it wasn’t meant to be admired by your husband.

You stood before hundreds of guests, a vision in silk and diamonds. He looked at you like you were a stranger.

He read his vows off a notecard.

Not his handwriting.

One of his father’s assistants had written it, because Reo had been “too busy.”

Training, press, a last-minute flight to Barcelona. You’d heard every excuse in the book.

You said “I do” anyway.

Because it was already done.

That night, when the guests were gone and the champagne had dried to sticky rings on glass tables, Reo leaned against the black car outside the venue and said,

“You can go back to your apartment. I won’t be offended.”

You blinked. “What?”

“I just figured you wouldn’t want to spend the night with someone you barely know,” he said, tone so casual it made your stomach twist. “And I’ve got practice early tomorrow, so…”

You nodded. What else was there to do?

So you went home.

You sat on your couch in a gown that took four months to design.

In shoes that made your ankles ache.

Mascara clinging to your lashes as the weight of it all finally cracked your spine.

And you cried.

Not the loud kind. The kind that sits behind your teeth, swallowing itself, curling in the pit of your stomach until it becomes something quiet and unbearable.

You didn’t see Reo again for a few days.

But your things arrived at his house. Not because he helped you move.

He’d hired a moving company. “The best and the fastest,” they’d said proudly at the door.

How kind.

The house was beautiful. Cold. Quiet.

Your name wasn’t anywhere on the mailbox, but it was in the contract.

You cooked that night. It was something stupidly domestic—a way to feel like maybe, maybe this could be something human if you just tried hard enough.

He walked in at 7:46PM.

Phone glued to his ear. “Yeah, no, I told him that—mm. Yeah. Nagi, you’re not listening—bro, listen—”

He breezed past you in his hoodie and soccer bag, smelling like turf and cologne, like a life you weren’t invited into.

Still, you tried.

You waited until he hung up.

You smiled. Weak, but there.

“I made dinner,” you said softly. “And, um… how was practice?”

He looked up like he forgot you were there. Eyes blank, like you’d grown another head.

“Fine,” he said. “I’m gonna eat in my office. Thanks.”

He took the plate.

He walked away.

And you sat back down at the table you’d set for two, with candles flickering, wine starting to taste like metal on your tongue.

You told yourself it didn’t matter.

You’d been alone your whole life. Raised by nannies who barely knew your middle name, in houses too big and too quiet.

You could survive this.

But you hadn’t wanted to survive your marriage.

You’d wanted to live in it. Grow into it.

Find something of your own in this world where everything had always been chosen for you.

Now, your name was on a ring. A contract. A marriage certificate.

But you weren’t sure if it was on his mind at all.

And maybe it was stupid. But part of you still wished he would look at you. Just once. Not like a stranger.

Not like a burden.

Just… like someone he might’ve chosen, if the world had let him choose at all.

You lost track of how many dinners you spent alone.

The days bled into one another—quiet mornings in a home that wasn’t yours, not really, and late nights where the only conversation was the low hum of Reo’s voice through the walls as he talked to someone who wasn’t you.

Always someone who wasn’t you.

Sometimes it was Nagi, like always.

Sometimes it was a teammate.

Sometimes you didn’t know.

You never asked.

You told yourself it was better this way. 

You wouldn’t fall apart over a man who’d never even taken off his shoes at the door you both supposedly shared. 

You wouldn’t crumble just because he didn’t notice the new books you lined on the empty shelves, or the way you started sleeping on the far edge of the bed—just in case he ever came to find you.

He didn’t.

Your presence was an afterthought in the story of his life.

Reo’s house was made of clean lines and expensive taste.

You decorated one room. Just one. 

A sunlit sitting area with cream curtains and deep green plants you watered every Tuesday.

It was the only room that felt like it belonged to someone who lived.

You started writing there—little letters you never sent.

Some to him.

Some to no one.

Letters like:

I wore the earrings my mother gave me today. You didn’t notice. No one ever does.

I think I’d love you if you’d let me.

I know I’m just the deal your father made to keep you in line.

I still made you dinner.

You kept them in a velvet box tucked in under the arm chair. 

Not because you wanted him to read them, but because writing them down helped you feel like less of a ghost in your own marriage.

The first real conversation you had came by accident.

You were in the kitchen late one night, padding across the tile floors in bare feet and his too-big hoodie—because everything else was in the laundry and you were cold.

You didn’t expect him to come home early.

He blinked when he saw you by the stove, pouring hot water into a teacup.

“…You’re up?” he asked, like it was strange. Like you weren’t someone who lived here.

You nodded, unsure of what to say, “uh…wanted to make sure you got home okay.” you mumbled, not looking at him.

You were pathetic, sitting here far too late into the night waiting for a man who didn’t love you to come home.

He looked like he wanted to say something else—but the words never came.

Instead, his gaze drifted to your clothes.

“That’s mine.”

You looked down at the hoodie. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry. I was just—”

“You can wear it. I don’t care.”

He said it so fast you nearly missed the small curl in his voice. Like maybe he did care. 

Like maybe something in his chest tugged at the sight of you in it.

Either that or he never wanted you to wear it again. You weren’t sure yet.

You sat in silence after that. He didn’t leave right away. 

He stayed—leaning against the doorframe like someone watching a stranger through glass.

The moment passed.

And then he said, “Night,” and disappeared into the hall.

It was a crack in the wall.

But a crack wasn’t enough to let the light in.

So the days went on.

He kept his distance.

You kept trying.

You made dinner every night. You never asked if he’d be there. But sometimes—sometimes—he ate what you left in the fridge.

That counted for something, didn’t it?

The house was quiet.

It’s the kind of silence that used to comfort Reo—back when it meant peace, stillness, something earned. But lately, it clings too tight. It echoes. Reo isn’t sure when the walls started feeling too wide, like the rooms were built for a version of him that no longer fits.

You’re not home. You left a note on the fridge, something about grabbing groceries and a coffee with your sister. 

He could have gone with you. 

You didn’t ask.

He wanders without meaning to. First to the kitchen, then to the hallway, and finally to the sitting room—the only room that still feels like it holds something real.

The afternoon sun filters through sheer curtains. It paints long shadows over the rug you picked out last spring. Reo crouches by the armchair. Something shifts beneath the hem of the fabric—a corner of a dark velvet box barely visible under the chair.

He pulls it out, curious.

It’s heavier than it looks.

The lid creaks when he opens it. Inside: envelopes. Dozens. All the same size. Some newer, some worn around the edges like they’ve been held more than once.

He pulls one out at random. There’s no date. Just his name on the front in your handwriting.

He hesitates.

And then he reads.

One day, he came home early.

So early it startled you.

You were in the sitting room, writing. Not one of your usual letters. Just thoughts. Scribbles in the margins of a notebook, where you were trying to remember what your voice sounded like when it wasn’t filtered through sadness and expectation.

You didn’t hear him walk in.

But you heard the door open. And then a pause.

And then: the sound of paper shifting.

Your heart dropped.

By the time you looked up, he was holding one of the letters.

Not one of the silly ones.

Not one of the harmless little diary pages.

No—this one was raw. This one hurt.

It was the one you wrote after your anniversary last week, when he didn’t come home until 2AM and never said a word about what day it was.

The one that said:

I sat in a dress for three hours waiting for someone who didn’t ask me to marry him and still doesn’t want to be here. 

Happy anniversary to me.

Reo’s eyes flicked over the page. His jaw clenched.

He didn’t look at you.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked, voice tight.

You blinked at him. “I tried. For months.”

“No—you wrote things and left them in a box.”

You stood. “You were never home. You never asked.”

“I didn’t think you cared.”

Your laugh cracked in the middle. “I didn’t have to care. I was given to you.”

He finally looked at you then.

Really looked. Like maybe—maybe—he was starting to see past the marble mask of this perfect life.

“…I didn’t want it to be like this,” he said, softer now. “I didn’t want to be that guy.”

You crossed your arms, every part of you aching. “Then why were you?”

Silence.

He ran a hand through his hair. Frustrated. Lost.

And then, almost too quiet:

“Because I didn’t know what to do with someone who might’ve actually… wanted to know me.”

“I don’t…want to know you. Not now. Not ever.” You were a bad liar, always had been. You bit on your thumb, not looking him in the eyes. You weren’t sure your heart could handle it if you did - that stupid traitorous organ.

Reo didn’t put up a fight, instead he put the note on the table and walked back to the room he’d all but taken over- the guest room.

While you retreated back to the room that was once his- that was meant for the both of you. The one you’d been sleeping alone in for these past few months. The one where you had to change the sheets weekly because of your tears.

The letter stayed on the kitchen table.

He didn’t put it back in the box.

Didn’t throw it away either.

He just left it there, like a wound in plain sight.

You avoided it for three days.

You didn’t talk to him. Not because you were angry—but because you didn’t know what else to say. There were no rules for this kind of marriage. There were only long silences, and carefully avoided glances, and the quiet weight of too many things unsaid.

You still made dinner.

You still watered the plants.

You still took off your jewelry at night and set it in the velvet-lined case your father gifted you as a wedding present.

“It’ll match your husband’s name,” he had said.

But what good was a name if the man behind it wouldn’t even sit across from you at the table?

The night it changed, the sky was gray and heavy. Rain smeared the windows, soft and constant like background noise to the ache in your chest.

You made pasta.

You weren’t expecting him to come home early again. You didn’t even hear the door. Just the sound of footsteps across hardwood, steady and real.

And then his voice—quiet, behind you.

“…That smells good.”

You turned. He was soaked through, jacket clinging to his frame like it was too tired to hang on anymore.

You grabbed a towel from the counter and handed it to him without thinking.

He took it, fingers brushing yours.

And for the first time since your wedding day, Reo looked at you like you were something real. Not a responsibility. Not a deal. Not a ghost in his hallway.

Just you.

He didn’t go to his office that night.

He sat at the table.

Ate the pasta.

Said thank you.

Not a lot. 

Not a flood of words or some grand apology. 

But his presence—the fact that he stayed—was louder than anything he could’ve said.

Halfway through the meal, you asked him again, “How was practice?”

You were prepared for a repeat of the last time you asked, him shutting you out and running away to his office. 

You’d be okay if it happened, after all, you’d grown used to the silence in this house.

He paused. Looked down. Took a breath like it was heavier than the air allowed.

“…Rough,” he admitted. “My legs felt like concrete.”

You smiled, just barely. “Then you’re human after all.”

That got a small laugh out of him. Soft. Surprised. Like he didn’t know he still had it in him.

“I guess so.”

He helped you clear the dishes. Put the leftovers away. Stood beside you at the sink like someone trying to remember what domesticity looked like.

The silence between you wasn’t cold anymore.

It was just quiet.

And maybe—maybe—hopeful.

He didn’t go to the guest room that night.

He sat at the edge of the bed, damp hair falling into his eyes, and asked you something that knocked the breath from your lungs.

“Do you hate me?”

You blinked. “What?”

Reo looked down at his hands. The same ones that held world-class trophies and training weights and the pressure of being perfect since he was a boy.

“…I didn’t know how to be a husband,” he said. “Didn’t want to be one, at first. Not like that. Not like a pawn in some game our dads made.”

You stayed silent.

He kept going, voice cracking just enough to feel real. 

“But then I saw that letter. And I realized—shit, I made you feel disposable. Like you were just…second best. And that’s not fair.”

You could barely breathe.

“I didn’t want to fall in love with someone just because I was supposed to,” he said, voice low now. “But that wasn’t your fault. And I’ve been an asshole. I know that.”

You swallowed the knot in your throat. “…And now?”

Reo turned toward you then, expression open in a way you’d never seen before. No charm. No smirk. No shield of distance.

Just him.

“Now I think I already did,” he said. “Fall in love with you.”

You didn’t kiss him that night.

But you let him hold your hand.

And when you fell asleep beside him, his heartbeat was steady against your back. Like he was trying, for the first time, to match your rhythm instead of walk ahead.

The next morning, there were flowers in the kitchen.

Real ones. Your favorite kind. A little handwritten note tucked between the stems.

Let me make it right. Dinner tonight?

You read it twice.

You smiled.

And then you made breakfast for two.

reader is far more forgiving than me but i didn't want this to get too long.

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

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[notlongtolove]

sun makes the day new

it’s not the first time derek has called him during a night out, trying to rope him into joining the fun. the usual calls came with garbled voices passing the phone around, shouting ‘wish you were here!’, ‘just come out!’ and multiple slurred variations of ‘reidddddd’.  but derek’s never called for help before.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)

genre: fluff

content: bau!reader is drunk! and spencer takes care of her

word count: 3.8k

note: spencer taking care of drunk bau!reader fills a void in me... spencer is reading the olfactory ethics thesis from twitter hahahahhhaha

a line: You’re the only reason he’d ever go—and the only reason he’d ever go unwillingly.

Sun makes the day new. Tiny green plants emerge from earth. Birds are singing the sky into place. There is nowhere else I want to be but here. I lean into the rhythm of your heart to see where it will take us. - joy harjo

It’s not often that Spencer gets a night to himself. Well, he’s used to spending most nights alone, but tonight, he actually has the time to make a cup of tea, to tuck himself under the sheets with a new read, even light the candle Garcia had given him two christmases ago. Nights like these, quiet and uninterrupted, are few and far between. 

“This thesis studies how literature registers the importance of olfactory discourse—the language of smell and the olfactory imagination it creates—in structuring our social world. The broad aim of this thesis is to offer an intersectional and wide-ranging study of olfactory oppression by establishing the underlying logics that facilitate smell’s application in creating and subverting gender, class, sexual, racial and species power structures. I focus largely on—”

And then his phone is ringing, cutting through the stillness. With a heavy sigh, he lifts it to his ear begrudgingly, but before he can say anything, pulsating music bursts through the speaker, forcing him to pull it away sharply and fumble with the volume.

“Reid! Hey!” Derek’s voice crackles over the line. “What are you—” your voice cuts in, loud and unmistakably indignant. “Are you calling Spencer—You’d better not be!” “I didn’t! I’m not—Ow!” A muffled struggle follows and then a sharp gasp. “You did! Oh, Derek Morgan, I’m gonna—” 

The line cuts off abruptly, leaving Spencer staring at his phone, brow furrowed in confusion. He considers calling Derek back but hesitates, Derek’s a tough guy; he can handle you, even when you’re tipsy. So, he sets the phone down and tries his best to refocus on the article in his lap.

“I focus largely on prose fiction from the modern and contemporary periods so as to trace the legacy of olfactory prejudice into today and situate its contemporary relevance. I suggest that smell very often invokes identity in a way that signifies an individual’s worth and status in an inarguable manner that short-circuits conscious reflection. This can be accounted for by acknowledging olfaction’s strongly—”

But the phone rings again, breaking the distinct quiet of his room. Spencer’s eyes flicker with irritation as he picks it up, this time holding it a safe distance from his ear.

“Can you—Would you get off me—Can you hear me?” The music in the background has faded, indicating that Derek has stepped outside. “Stop! Garcia grab her—Sorry, you there?”

“Still here.” His response is calm but tinged with impatience.

“Listen, we’ve got a bit of a… situation.” 

The words immediately put Spencer on edge. It’s not the first time Derek has called him during a night out, trying to rope him into joining the fun. The usual calls came with a mix of laughter, music, and garbled voices passing the phone around, shouting ‘Wish you were here!’, ‘Just come out!’ and, of course, multiple slurred variations of ‘Reidddddd’. 

But Derek’s never called for help before.

“How bad is it?”

Spencer hears Derek take a deep breath, as though trying to steady himself before turning back to the phone. “Man, it’s pretty bad.” 

“He’s lying Spence,” your slurred voice protests from a distance, teetering between laughter and the edge of a sob, “I’m just—Augh!” comes your muffled reply, followed by a struggle that’s half-heard through the line—something heavy shifting, a soft thud. “I’m just tipsy!” Spencer strains to hear the distant sound of hurried footsteps, heels on pavement. “I got her! I got her!” The clatter of keys and the rustle of fabric echo in the background.

“Sweetie you’re not tipsy, you’re—very intoxicated,” He hears garcia add, worry coloring her words.

“I’d say shit-faced,” Emily chimes in from the background, the amusement in her voice undeniable.

“She’s—” Derek mutters, “She’s pretty messed up, and uh—” He hesitates, the pause stretching into the silence. “She wouldn’t stop asking for you.” There’s an edge of exasperation in his voice. “How soon do you think you can get to 43rd and King Drive?”

This isn’t the first time Spencer’s been dragged out for a night he didn’t want. And it’s certainly not the first time he’s seen you drunk. In fact, if there were a Venn diagram mapping Spencer’s nights out and nights he was reluctantly pulled into, you’d sit squarely in the middle. You’re the only reason he’d ever go—and the only reason he’d ever go unwillingly.

Spencer rubs the bridge of his nose, already standing up, his eyes shut tight as he breathes out a shaky sigh. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

When Spencer pulls up to the address Derek had texted him, the group of you is impossible to miss. Emily is leaning against a lamppost, cradling what Spencer can only hope is her last drink of the night. Derek, propped on a fire hydrant is half-heartedly trying—and failing—to flag down a cab. Meanwhile, Garcia sits on the curb, gently stroking your hair as you rest against her, your eyes half-closed and face flushed.

“What did she have?” Spencer demands as he steps out of the car.

Derek, standing a few feet away, immediately tilts his head toward Emily, as though absolving himself of any blame. “Ask that one.”

Spencer’s eyes narrow as they land on Emily. She meets his stare with a guilty look. “Vodka, tequila, … a couple shots.”

“How many?” Spencer asks, countering her.

“I uh, lost count.”

Spencer blinks, momentarily speechless. 

“Bar was half off,” Emily shrugs, as if that explained everything.

With a sigh, Spencer shakes his head and crouches down beside you, his focus now entirely on your slumped form. His gaze softens as he takes in your flushed face and half-lidded eyes. You stir faintly, murmuring something incoherent as he brushes a stray strand of hair from your forehead.

“She’s been this way for the past fifteen minutes,” Garcia says softly, her concern evident. “Poor thing, all that running must have really worn her out.” She pauses, a hint of disbelief slipping into her voice. “Y’know, I never would’ve guessed she’d be a running drunk.”

“Didn’t take her for a scratcher, either,” Derek chimes in, rubbing at a red mark on his neck. “Damn, the girl’s got claws.”

If he weren’t so worried, Spencer might have chuckled and launched into an explanation about the statistics behind why some people bolt when they’re drunk. He’d looked it up after the time he’d had to chase you down during your birthday last year, the last one left standing to wrangle you back home. But right now, there’s no room for humour.

Kneeling beside you, Spencer places a steadying hand on your shoulder. His voice drops low, calm and gentle. “Hey, can you hear me?” Your eyelids flutter weakly, a faint groan slipping past your lips as you lean ever so slightly into his hand. It’s enough to give him a sliver of reassurance, though not much.

“She’s definitely gonna feel that in the morning,” Derek chuckles faintly, stepping closer.

“Not helping, Morgan,” Spencer deadpans, his tone heavy with dry exhaustion. “Has she, you know—?” He makes a vague gesture, his meaning clear.

Emily jerks her thumb toward a couple of lampposts down. “Mhm. Barely made it out.”

Spencer follows the direction of her gesture, catching sight of a dark puddle by the door glistening faintly under the streetlight. He swallows hard, grimacing. “Right. That’s—That’s good.”

He adjusts his grip on your arm, bracing himself as he turns to Derek. “Help me get her to the car,” Derek nods, crouching down to take your other arm. “On three,” he murmurs, and together they hoist you up with practiced care. Your body is limp but pliable, your head rolling slightly as they steady you between them. 

The motion stirs you, your eyes fluttering open as an irritated groan escapes your lips. “Stoppp—I can walk, I can—Morgan let go!”

“It’s me—Hey,” Spencer says, his voice calm but tinged with urgency. “It’s just me.”

“Spence?” The word is slurred, fragile. 

Spencer’s heart clenches at the sound, his frustration momentarily giving way to something softer. “Yeah, sweetheart,” he replies, his voice low and steady. “I’m here. We’re getting you home.”

As the word slips out, he catches Derek’s eyebrow arching in his peripheral vision, the silent question practically radiating off him. Spencer doesn’t falter, his sharp, no-nonsense stare meeting Derek’s head-on. It’s enough to make Derek quickly avert his gaze, holding back whatever teasing remark had undoubtedly been forming on his lips. 

You and Spencer weren’t together. But you weren’t not together either. Whatever it was, it wasn’t in any way that people could put a label on. Unspoken yet undeniable. It wasn’t something you or Spencer were particularly adept at explaining either, nor was it something Spencer felt the need to justify, not to Derek, and especially not now. 

Your head lolls slightly against Spencer’s shoulder as they guide you forward, your weight shifting unsteadily between him and Derek. In Spencer’s presence, your expression visibly softens, sharp tongue giving way to sugar-coated phrases, the tension in your body melting away. It’s a stark contrast to the wild, uncooperative runner and scratcher the other three had described and had very obviously struggled to contain.

“You’re so nice, honey,” you mumble, your words slurred but filled with earnest sincerity. “Always so nice.”

“Definitely could’ve used your help thirty minutes ago,” Derek quips sarcastically. 

“I was reading—trying to.” The annoyance clings to Spencer’s words. 

“Right,” Derek lets out a low chuckle, “of course you were.”

“Seeeee!” You fawn, “Isn’t he the nicest?” You pause for a moment, your head tilting as if considering something profound. “And so handsome. Very nice and very handsome. The nicest and the handsomest,” you muse, your tone dreamy and matter-of-fact.

Derek snorts, his grip on your arm steady. “Don’t start,” Spencer mutters, his voice dry but tinged with something softer. The faintest pink creeps up his neck as you lean into him, your head pressing against his shoulder, seeking the comfort only he seems to provide.

It’s a chaotic tangle of limbs, with Derek flinching when your hand swings a little too close to his face—again. But they manage to get you settled into the passenger seat. As Spencer leans over to fasten your seatbelt, Derek leans against the hood of the car, smirking, “You know, Reid, maybe it’s time to retire pretty boy. Honey has a nicer ring to it, don’t you think?”

“I dunno, I prefer sweetheart,” Emily quips, her tone syrupy and teasing. “It’s got that rustic charm,” she drawls, throwing in an exaggerated wink for good measure.

Spencer rolls his eyes as he slides into the car, the door closing behind him. He hesitates, casting a quick glance at the others. “You guys… you have a ride back right?”

“Aw, would you look at that? The perfect gentleman. A one-stop kind of guy.” Garcia teases, mischief in her eyes.

“More like a one-woman kind of guy,” Derek says under his breath—Just loud enough for everyone to hear. It earns him a playful swat on the arm from Garcia. 

Spencer’s face turns a deep shade of pink as he stumbles over his words. “That’s not... that’s not what I meant,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I could—”

“Relax, Reid,” Emily interjects, gesturing toward the passenger seat. “Go get her home. We’ll figure ourselves out.” Spencer nods quickly, grateful for the out, though his ears are still burning as he starts the engine, determined not to look back at their knowing smiles.

The first time you brought Spencer to your apartment, you’d warned him about the stairs. He’d laughed it off, dismissing your concern with a grin, saying the three-flight walk-up wasn’t so bad—it added character, a touch of history to the building. “Besides,” he’d added, “did you know that having stairs in apartments likely means the building predates the widespread use of elevators which wasn’t all that common in residential construction until after Elisha Otis introduced his safety elevator in 1854?” 

But now, hauling you up those very same stairs, Spencer is sweaty, out of breath, and cursing whoever thought a three-story walk-up in a brownstone was a good idea.

“One more step, just one more—there you go, sweetheart,” he says through gritted teeth, practically dragging you up those last few steps. “Now, where are your keys?” He pats your bag as he speaks, more to himself than to you.

“My—hiccup—my keys are—hiccup—in there,” you slur, pointing vaguely at the bag he’s already rifling through.

When the door finally swings open with a shove that’s harder than Spencer intended, it bangs against the wall, making both of you jump. You lurch forward, your balance teetering precariously, but Spencer is quicker, his arm darting out to catch you before you can topple over.

“Whoa, easy,” he says, his tone gentle but firm as he steadies you, his hand lingering at your waist to make sure you’re upright.

You hum in response, barely acknowledging his effort as you shrug off his support and make a beeline for the bedroom. Your steps are uneven, your movements sluggish, and before you can collapse face-first onto the bed, Spencer steps in again, catching you mid-fall.

“Uh-uh,” he chides as he props you back up. “How about we change before we dive into our nice, warm bed, huh?”

You blink at him, swaying slightly as you process his words. “Mm. Warm. I like warm.” You pause, and then, as if hit by divine inspiration, you blurt out, “Soup. I want soup.”

“Soup?” Spencer echoes, a hint of exasperation creeping into his tone. “No soup, honey. Not right now,” he says, heading toward the bathroom to grab a makeup wipe. But before he can make it two steps, your bottom lip begins to tremble, tears pooling in your eyes. 

“But… I,” you whisper, your voice cracking, “I really really want soup.”

Spencer freezes, his defences crumbling in an instant as he sees a single tear spills over, streaking your cheek. Oh, how could he ever say no to you? 

“Oh, baby, no, don’t cry,” he murmurs, rushing back to you, crouching slightly to meet your gaze. He cups your face gently, his thumbs brushing away any other tears that threaten to fall. “Okay, okay. I’ll make you soup, alright? Just... let me take care of you first, yeah?”

Sniffling, you nod, your tears beginning to subside. “And then soup?” you ask softly, your voice small but hopeful.

Spencer’s lips curve into a gentle smile as he brushes a stray tear from your cheek. “Yeah, baby. And then soup. Whatever you want,” he murmurs, his tone warm and reassuring. Spencer knows deep down that you don’t actually want or need soup—it’s just the fixation of the moment in your drunken haze. Still, he decides to play along for now, hoping that with time, the thought will slip from your mind.

Carefully, he helps you out of your clothes, his hands steady and patient as he guides you into one of his soft, oversized shirts. You mumble something slurred and incoherent about how impossibly comfy it is, and his lips twitch into a fond smile. “Yeah honey, you’re right,” he humours you, adjusting the hem gently, “Fabric softener really does work wonders, doesn’t it?”

Spencer reaches for a makeup wipe from your vanity, his movements gentle as he starts to carefully remove the smudged remnants of mascara under your eyes. His eyes nearly pop out of his head when he sees one of your lashes come loose, but then he remembers you’d mentioned wearing false lashes on nights out. Right, that makes sense.

After two makeup wipes—both stained with hues of browns, pinks and purples, smudged from your makeup—he lifts your limp head, checking for any remaining traces. Your doe eyes blink up at him, looking soft and pretty, but there's an obvious blankness behind them as you babble on about how handsome he is. 

You’d once talked about something you watched on double cleansing, or was it triple? Better safe than sorry, he thinks grabbing another wipe to be sure. Once he’s satisfied, he sets the wipe down and brushes your hair back from your face. “There we go,” he murmurs soothingly, brushing your hair back from your face. “All done,” he says, his voice soft as a lullaby. 

You smile drips with affection as you look back up at him, and for a brief, blissful moment, he thinks the ordeal is over. Then you whisper:

“Soup?”

Spencer’s face falls, a mix of exasperation and reluctant affection washing over him. “Soup,” he repeats, more to himself than to you. He sighs, but when he looks down at your earnest, pleading face, his resolve crumbles all over again. “Okay, honey,” he relents, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’ll make you soup. You stay right here, alright?”

“M’kay,” you murmur, along with something incoherent, obediently crawling under the covers as Spencer tucks you in. And then you’re out like a light.

When you wake up the next morning, the first thing that hits you is the dull, relentless throb behind your eyes. The second is how heavy your body feels, limbs weighed down like lead, and you find yourself wincing as you shift under the tangled sheets. You’re not sure how you got home, you don’t know why your feet hurt so much either. And is that blood under your nails? You groan, clutching your temples in a futile attempt to block out the unanswered questions. Right now, all you know is that you need water. Desperately.

A sharp ache runs down your spine as you sit up, and you reach blindly for the water bottle on your nightstand. Your hand fumbles over the plastic, knocking it to the floor with a soft thud, and the sound only amplifies the pounding in your head. 

“Hey, you alright there?”, Spencer calls out. 

The unexpected voice startles you so much that you let out a sharp scream, immediately regretting it as the noise rebounds inside your aching head. “Ah! Jesus, Spence, you scared me!” you groan, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes.

Spencer’s face, which had been etched with concern, softens into a sheepish smile. He’s sitting in the chair by your bedroom door, a book resting on his knee, clearly having been there for a while. “Sorry, honey,” he says softly, closing the book and setting it aside. “I was just... keeping an eye on you.”

You blink at him, still trying to piece together why he’s even here. “Keeping an eye on me?” you ask, your voice hoarse and thick with confusion.

“You were... a little out of it last night,” Spencer explains gently, standing up and moving to pick up the water bottle that had fallen to the floor. He twists the cap open and hands it to you, his fingers brushing yours for just a moment, steadying your hand.

You take a cautious sip, the cool water soothing your parched throat. “Last night? But you—you weren’t even there.” You frown, trying to piece the fragmented memories together. There was Derek, Emily, Garcia, shots, that weird guy who kept staring at you, more shots... Were you really that drunk? No, you definitely would’ve noticed if Spencer had been there, right?

Spencer’s smile is small, almost apologetic, as he moves to sit on the edge of your bed, his voice soft but direct. “Let’s just say you’re pretty good at keeping everyone on their toes. And, uh, backup was needed.” 

“That bad, huh?” you murmur. “What did I do?”

It’s kind of more like what didn’t you do? Spencer thinks but keeps it to himself. He hesitates for a moment, as if he’s deciding how much to tell you, then speaks carefully. “I think it’s safe to say Morgan’s not exactly thrilled about the scratch marks.” He can’t help the small laugh that escapes, but it’s more for reassurance than amusement.

“Oh, god.” You groan and bury your face in your hands, the embarrassment rising in your chest.

Spencer gently rubs reassuring circles on your knee, steady and soothing as he tries to ease the tension evident in your face. “You were... spirited,” he offers diplomatically. “Nothing unfixable. Besides, I’ve seen worse.”

You peek at him through your fingers, surprised by how calm he seems despite everything. “I’m so sorry, Spence,” you say, your voice muffled by your hands. “Did I ruin your night?”

He shrugs with a small, reassuring smile. “Not at all. Kind of hard to be mad after you called me ‘very nice and very handsome’ at least three times.”

You groan again, your cheeks burning as you down another sip of water. Spencer chuckles softly, the sound light and comforting. 

“How’s your head?” he asks, his voice gentle with concern, though the answer is clear. 

A groan.

“Aw, honey,” he coos sympathetically, his arms opening wide in invitation. “C’mere.”

Too drained to move, you opt for flopping forward into his lap instead, your body feeling heavy and sluggish. Spencer’s hands immediately go to your hair, stroking it gently, his touch soothing. “Hurts, huh?” he murmurs softly.

You whine in agreement, your head resting against him as you let his fingers work through your tangled hair. He chuckles lightly, a sound that brings some small relief. “You hungry?” he asks, his voice still filled with concern, though it’s laced with a hint of casual care.

Another mewl escapes you, the idea of food nearly as unappealing as your pounding headache.

“You need electrolytes, honey,” Spencer suggests gently, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “We’ve gotta get something in you.”

You peek out from the mess of your hair, an eyebrow quirked as you attempt a teasing smile. “So forward, Doctor Reid,” you try to joke, your voice sluggish. “At least buy me dinner first.”

“You know what I mean,” Spencer says as he jokingly swats your arm.

You huff softly, your eyelids barely staying open. “Can’t move,” you mumble, curling further into his lap, trying to escape the weight of your headache. “Don’t make me move.”

Spencer chuckles quietly, his fingers gently tracing the line of your hair as he speaks. "You've gotta move at some point, sweetheart."

You whine in protest, your body too exhausted to even think of standing. "An hour?"

"I'll give you 10 minutes," he counters.

"40?" you bargain weakly, lifting your head just enough to look at him through half-lidded eyes.

"20," he shoots back.

You think for a moment, the numbers swirling in your hazy mind. "30?"

Spencer's grin widens, body moving as you gently tug him closer. "Fine," he relents with a soft sigh. "But only because you called me handsome that fourth time." You roll your eyes as you shift to make space for him.

He slides onto the bed beside you, his body pressing against yours as he wraps an arm around you, pulling you into the comfort of his warmth. Your head rests on his chest as he tucks you in closer, his fingers running soothingly along your arm. 

"Hey, Spence?"

"Hm?" 

"Why’s there a bowl of soup on my dresser?"

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!

[psformybss]

One Year Down

series masterlist

warnings: 18+ MDNI, emotional intimacy, domestic fluff

Charleston’s golden hour washed over their backyard like honey, coating the fence, the weather-worn wood of the deck, and the hanging fairy lights Drew had strung up earlier that morning. Some tilted awkwardly, but he’d spent an hour on the ladder anyway, muttering under his breath, determined to make their backyard feel like something out of a Pinterest board—even if it wasn’t perfect.

She stepped out barefoot, dress brushing her thighs, and instantly smiled at the scene in front of her. The table was set with candles, wine, and what could only be described as “attempted fine dining.” Drew stood beside it, barefoot too, sleeves rolled to his elbows, face lit with that sheepish, please-tell-me-I-did-good grin.

He looked up. Froze. Blinked once.

“Jesus,” he said, eyes trailing slowly from her head to her toes. “You look like a damn dream.”

“And you look like you burned the garlic bread,” she teased, slipping into his arms before he could defend himself.

“It’s ‘crispy,’” he said, arms locking around her waist. “And we’re calling it ‘rustic.’”

She leaned up and kissed him, slow and easy, hands brushing the back of his neck. “Happy anniversary, baby.”

He kissed her back, lingering. “Happy anniversary, Mrs. Starkey.”

They ate beneath the fading sun, pasta slightly overcooked, salad slightly overdressed—but it didn’t matter. It never did. Drew kept her laughing, telling stories with his usual animated gestures, pausing mid-sentence to brush her hand or kiss her knuckles like he couldn’t help it.

Halfway through dinner, she tilted her head, watching him over the rim of her wine glass.

“You nervous or something?” she asked.

He blinked. “Why would I be nervous?”

“You’ve checked your pocket like three times.”

He exhaled a laugh, then stood and pulled out a small black box, setting it in front of her with a shrug.

“I’ve had this for months,” he said. “I kept thinking I should wait for the five-year, or something bigger, but—screw it. It felt right.”

Her fingers trembled slightly as she opened the lid.

A delicate heart-shaped necklace rested inside, gold and understated. She lifted it gently, noticing the engraving—just faint enough to feel private. Their initials on one side. The date on the other.

Her throat went tight.

“Drew…”

He moved around behind her, brushing her hair to the side. “Let me put it on you.”

His fingers grazed her skin as he clasped it, then lingered just below the pendant, thumb sweeping over her collarbone. He kissed the curve of her neck, lips soft and reverent.

“I wanted something close to your heart,” he murmured. “Something simple. But lasting.”

She turned and kissed him again, deeper this time, her hands framing his face. “It’s perfect.”

“And now,” she said, eyes dancing, “my turn.”

She disappeared into the house and came back holding a worn leather journal tied with twine. Drew’s brow furrowed as she handed it to him, careful.

He opened to the first page.

His breath caught.

Inside was her handwriting, looping and familiar. A memory. A moment. A line from a conversation he didn’t think she remembered.

“You’ve been writing all this time?” he asked, voice thick.

“Since our wedding night,” she nodded. “I didn’t want to forget the little things. So I kept a record.”

He flipped through page after page—inside jokes, quiet confessions, scribbled drawings, even a list titled Things Drew Does That Drive Me Crazy (In a Good Way).

He was quiet for a while, just holding it in his hands like it was fragile.

“This is the best thing anyone’s ever given me,” he said finally, eyes glassy.

She brushed her thumb over his cheek. “You give me something every day. I just wanted to give some of it back.”

His mouth found hers then—not soft this time, but hungry. Deep. He kissed her like he couldn’t breathe without it.

“Let's go inside,” he murmured, voice hoarse.

They stumbled into the house between kisses and laughter, knocking into walls, half-undressing each other on the way to the bedroom. Her dress slipped from her shoulders. His shirt was yanked over his head and tossed somewhere behind them.

By the time they reached the bed, her back hit the mattress and he followed without hesitation, bracing himself above her, eyes drinking her in.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, pressing kisses down her neck, “It actually hurts sometimes.”

Her breath caught when his mouth found her chest, lips moving in slow reverence before his hands skimmed down her sides, memorizing skin like he hadn’t already spent a year doing it.

She reached for him, pulling him down, their mouths crashing again—wet, open, desperate.

He slowed just enough to look her in the eyes.

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered.

“You,” she breathed. “Just you. Always you.”

He slid inside her slow, deep, their bodies fitting like a familiar rhythm, the kind that doesn’t need words. Her head tipped back, a quiet moan falling from her lips as his pace built, steady and tender but edged with something raw.

He gripped her hand, laced their fingers above her head, his mouth against her ear. “I love you. I love you so much it scares me.”

“I know,” she gasped. “I feel it. Every second.”

She wrapped her legs around him, hips meeting his with more urgency. The air between them thickened—hot skin, tangled sheets, breathless praise. He kissed her everywhere, mouth mapping devotion down her chest, across her shoulders, between her thighs.

When she came, it was with a shudder, his name falling from her lips like a vow.

He followed moments later, buried deep, groaning into the crook of her neck, holding her like he’d never let her go.

They lay tangled afterward, sticky and flushed, her head on his chest, fingers idly tracing over the line of his ribs.

She kissed his chest, right above his heart. “Best anniversary ever.”

He laughed, arm tightening around her. “And we didn’t even leave the house.”

“Why would we?” she yawned. “The good stuff’s right here.”

He pressed a lazy kiss to her forehead.

“One year down,” he said quietly.

“Forever to go,” she replied, already half-asleep in his arms, that new necklace glinting softly in the moonlight.

taglist: @maybankslover

[aomiiine]

𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐘

love & deep space w ZAYNE format. fic. warnings. fluff + nsfw. mdni. fem!reader. soft vanilla love making. praise. endearments(darling, princess, etc). strawberry cake mention cs its my fav. summary. he’s more focused on you rather than the occasion which was his birthday.

author’s note. hppy belated birthday to my fav boy!!

“So you made these for me, hm?” The dark haired man beside you asked, his gaze attentive and tone almost accusing—something you were awfully used to by now. “Are you sure you didn’t buy them, darling? I won’t be mad if you did,” he added, pushing himself off the kitchen counter he was recently leaning his hips against.

“I made, Zayne. I’ve told you this time and time again—I’ve been practicing, okay?” you countered, your brows furrowing and your lips forming a small pout of annoyance at how your lover kept on questioning the source of his birthday cake for this year. Unbeknownst to you, while you were busy pouting and setting up the candles on the cake, Zayne had his eyes fixated on your face, the corner of his lips curling to faint smile as he spectated your change of expressions from your side profile.

“I never said I didn’t believe you, my love,” the tall man uttered in a soft scoff. He watched attentively as you finally held the lighter to light up the candles, the small flames making an intimate atmosphere in your purposely dimly lit home. Even with the skilfully made strawberry cake you decorated for him, the only thing he had given his attention to was you, and it seemed like it would be that way for the entire night.

”There. Make a wish and blow them out for me,” you urged, putting the lighter away and turning to him with a fond, excited smile. It was like you were more enthusiastic about his birthday than himself—and the way you caught him looking at you the moment you shifted your gaze to him proved that point more. It was his birthday—so why was he staring at you?

Your smile faltered nervously, feeling a bit self-conscious with how intense his dark hazel green eyes gazed at you, fingers twitching and all.

“Something wrong?” was all you could muster to say at the moment, cursing yourself for letting him affecting you so despite your years of being together. He still managed to make you flustered, shy.

“I made my wish.”

You raised a brow at him, blinking at him curiously with the candles on cake flickering softly, the flames illuminating the room just enough for you to see each other. The second you opted to part your lips to ask him what his wish was exactly, he stole your breath away, halting your actions by leaning down to you, letting his lips meet your soft ones. Your breath hitched once you registered his actions, not letting him wait and giving him access to your mouth.

“Zayne,” you huffed between your kisses, his hand moving up to circle your neck, his thumb gently caressing your jawline.

“You are what I wished for,” was all he whispered in return before sliding his tongue against yours, taking you in and leaving you to nibble on your wet lower lip. “I can’t possibly wish for anything more—,” he added with a soft groan, his free hand reaching up to grip your hip, fingers massaging your flesh there before pushing back up against the marble kitchen counter. “—other than for you to stay by my side.”

At this point, you were near breathless, soft mewls of his name leaving your lips at the feeling of his cold fingers skimming under your shirt and over your tummy. You had your hands hold onto his arms, nails gently digging him and earning yourself a hum of delight from him.

In a matter of seconds he had your shirt lifted up over chest, one hand helping you held it up while the other slid up your rib cage to cup your breast that was encased in your bra. All the while his fingers tugged on the fabric of your bra, he had his lips glued to your neck, tongue peeking out to leave warm licks along your skin whenever he felt your pulse. With a mere hook of his fingers on your bra, he had your tits spilled out for him, his mouth migrating downward to your sweetly bared nipples, taking one of them around his lips.

“Baby, the candles—they’ll melt,” you breathed out between pants and whimpers, shivers running down your spine with every tug he made on your hardened bud, the swirl of his tongue around your areola making you mumble pathetic, empty pleas for him.

“Then we’ll make love in the dark. I know every part—every crevice of your body by heart,” he replied calmly, not bothered by the thought of the candles suddenly going during their intimate moment—he was too into it to care.

How could he stop now? When he finally his hand hovering above your wet cunt, fingers teasingly hooking under your waistband of your pants but not pulling it down until he felt you were desperate enough. And that didn’t take long. ‘Cause he had your pants pooled around your ankles in seconds, hands impatiently lifting you up onto the cold counter where your pretty cunt was finally equally level with his hips.

“Let me unwrap my gift, darling,” his smooth voice whispered into your ear, his hot breath kissing your skin and heating up your face when he laid your lower half bare to him. You had your hands gripping onto his upper arms, then his shoulders, eyes glazed over and watching closely as he undid his the zipper of his pants, his slender finger sliding his boxers down a bit to pull his cock out easier. You gulped in both nervousness and eagerness at the sight of his thick length standing at attention with a slight curve, beads of precum forming at the tip of it.

“You’re drooling,” he murmured teasingly to catch your attention, exhaling a soft sigh and smiling at the sight of the adorable face you made when you left your trance of need whenever you admired him, any part of him. “I’ll give it to you, love, don’t worry,” he assured you, hand moving to part your thighs further, pulling you further to the edge of the counter and finally aligning his cock along your pussy, nudging your slick folds apart with the fat tip.

“Fuck,” you heard him growl softly, the mere contact of his tip with the outer layer of your sweetness affecting him more than he’d like. With a look of determination, he pushed his hips forward slowly, easing himself into your slit while keeping a good hold on your hip.

You couldn’t help the whimpers and moans that he coaxed out of you, your entire being melting at the fullness you felt when he was fully inside you, his balls pressed against your ass.

Zayne winced and grunted with every spasm you made around his cock, loving how his sweet yet filthy praises affected you so with only a few thrusts he made into you. And he didn’t hesitate to surge forward more, pounding into you with unbecoming moans and squelches made from your sex filling your home.

You held onto his shoulders tightly, your grip shifting with every thrust his hips made, making you wrap your arms around him and pulling him closer to you. Your thighs quivered around his hips, high-pitched moans forced out of you from how tightly the knot in your lower belly tied, the tip of Zayne’s dick hitting you in the right spot every time. Perhaps it was uncoincidental that your lover felt the same, the warmth and intensity of love that was shared between you amplifying the pleasure ten fold.

“Princess, ‘m gonna cum for you—inside you,” he murmured, his words jumbled and almost incoherent. It was clear his mind was as hazy as yours at that moment, his hips pounding into you with need. His movements turned jerky when he finally neared that climax along with you, your tightening cunt giving him the final push from the edge, his aching cock twitching and pulsing inside your depths as he finally spilled thick ropes of his cum, painting your velvety walls an innocent white. Your own orgasm followed suit, mixing with his own to form a potent mixture of sensual adoration.

With ragged breaths, he slumped against you, his knees bucking slightly as he basked in the afterglow with you. He didn’t shy away from your embrace, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling the scent of your sweat and shampoo, calming him from his exertion.

“I don’t mind spending my birthday like this again next year, my dear. Maybe I’ll help you shop for a cake too,” he muttered against your neck, his voice hoarse yet playful. You groaned in response, hitting his arm lightly for acting suspicious about the cake you proclaimed to have baked yourself. “I didn’t buy the cake,” you grumbled against his shoulder, resting your head against him, to which he only chuckled at. “Sure, you didn’t,” Zayne murmured, smiling contently above your shoulder.

[cloudcountry]

hello! I was hoping if u can do the ghouls reaction or what they would do if the reader or s/o was kidnapped thank you and have a nice day/evening!!

SUMMARY: while on a mission, you disappear from your partner. how do the ghouls deal with the fallout?

CHARACTERS: Alan, Towa, Taiga, Subaru, Haku.

COMMENTS: i left this a lil open ended anomaly wise so you can read this however you'd like!! thank u for being so kind, i had a lot of fun with this prompt <3

For this mission, it was imperative that Darkwick send the least amount of people possible. The anomaly in question had been observed "disappearing" people who entered its labyrinth in large groups, never to be seen again. The only way to get those people back, some said, was to solve the labyrinth...but Darkwick isn’t certain if that’s how it works. In order to assure the safety of you and the house you were assigned to, only one ghoul is allowed to come with you...

Said ghoul was intent on protecting you and getting to the bottom of this case without incident. He did his best to navigate the labyrinth with the supplies Darkwick had given and the research his house had conducted. It’s dark, the only light offered to your unfit eyes being the candles lining the walls. The bricks press closer and closer to your skin, and you shiver. He notices and drapes his jacket over your shoulders. You thank him softly.

He continues, checking back regularly to make sure you’re still there. His hand reaches for you and you take it, intertwining your fingers.

The second the pads of your fingertips touch the back of his hand, you vanish.

Subaru whips around and stabs at the air behind him with his umbrella, assuming a physical anomaly had ripped you out from his grasp. When he doesn’t see anything, he returns his weapon to his side and makes his way to the end of the labyrinth.

His heart is pounding and he isn’t sure if the information he’s received is correct, especially not after the anomaly had taken you when you were only a two person team. It doesn’t make sense. Darrkwick shouldn’t have sent you here at all, he knows that much—but when he pleaded with the Chancellor to reconsider, he was swiftly denied.

He’s the only hope you have. He’s the only one you can trust.

There’s something he’s missing. There’s something he’s missing.

What if he’s wrong?

Subaru tosses away those thoughts with resolute huff, eyeing the walls of the labyrinth. Rest assured, he will remain calm and see you to safety, so that when he finds you and the anomaly who kidnapped you, he can solve this peacefully. 

Taiga doesn’t play these games. You think you can just take the trembling kitty cat he was supposed to look after right from under his nose? No, he knows exactly what’s going on here. It’d be more strange for him to not understand.

He sighs deeply, scratching the back of his neck.

“You can do better than that, c’mon,” he taunts, taking out his gun, “Give me them back.”

And he opens fire.

The walls scream, wailing as his bullets sink into their flesh. He cackles as they scream, wide gaping mouths pleading for mercy from the pain.

“Give ‘em back!” he yells, jamming his foot into one of the contorted face’s eyes, “You want us to leave? Then cough ‘em up!”

If the anomaly knows what’s good for it, it’ll return you to where you belong. As trigger happy as Taiga is, he’s smart, and he’d had a feeling what the anomaly was doing from the start.

Towa turns back around to look for you, confused when you disappear. He mumbles a bit under his breath before flawlessly completing the labyrinth, coming out the other end with an expectant look on his face.

“~~~?”

“...! ~~ ~~~~!”

He has his ways of finding you. Without Haru or you, Towa is dragging his feet though...if nobody is here to praise him, then what is he even working for? He misses you. Knocking on the walls, he politely asks for you back.

“~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~? ~~~...”

Nothing.

Towa puffs up his cheeks and punches the wall hard. The force of it ripples the brick, a chorus of screams echoing throughout the structure. Towa is unbothered, staring dead at the screaming faces that emerge, wailing at the top of their lungs. Darkness falls over the labyrinth, each candle blown out one by one as the wind picks up.

“Where is Dandelion?” Towa asks, voice low and threatening, “I won’t ask again.”

Haku keeps his wits about him, even though you’re gone and he’s stuck gripping the space where your fingers were. He sighs, rubbing his temples before taking a deep breath.

Do not go for the easiest solution. Do not rush things. See it through. What would Subaru do?

And so, he stops. He sits down in the spot you disappeared and thinks, pushing thoughts about you in danger out of his mind. Those kinds of thoughts won't help you now. If only he’d know the anomaly would still target smaller groups, he would have gone in by himself and left you outside—

But that’s not foolproof either, since the anomaly could have a larger radius than he anticipated, and he could never have known you’d even gone missing until he left—

This won’t help you now.

He presses a hand against the wall to push himself up, and jumps when he begins to sink. Tearing his hand away, Haku stares wide eyed at the wall.

Oh.

That’s not something he expected.

Well, this makes this rather easy, doesn’t it?

Alan finds himself tightening his grip on where your hand used to be before letting go, whipping around to face you in hopes that you didn’t crumble from the force of his hand.

When he finds you gone, his heart shudders painfully in his chest. You’re in danger. He made a mistake, it is his fault, and now he has to solve it.

Carefully, Alan turns the corner, eyes darting along the different paths he could take. His feet carry him forward, but he stops. He starts moving again, and then stops.

Why does it feel like he shouldn’t leave the spot where you disappeared?

Trust your instincts Alan! They’re really good!

Your words still find him, even now.

Alan walks back the way he came to the spot you disappeared. Observing his surroundings, he takes note of blood, slipping through the cracks in the bricks.

He knows it when he sees it.

Rushing forward, he crawls his finger into the crack, tearing the bricks away from the wall. He hears the screaming but keeps going, fighting on auto pilot, clawing at the flesh of the labyrinth until his hand grasps yours and he pulls you out of the wall.

[seelie-buddy]

Tell Me You Love Me

summary : your love for alhaitham is endless, and you make sure to express that verbally; alhaitham makes sure his affections reaches you as well

contains : alhaitham believes in 'actions speak louder than words' ; pre-established relationship ; fluff ; gn!reader, this drabble is written in second person

word count : 800

The candle by your bedside is close to running out when Alhaitham appears through the door. Eyes drooping and a yawn slipping out, the bed dips under his weight as he joins your side. You smile softly as he snuggles in, resting his forehead on your shoulder, his eyes fluttering shut instantly.

"Long day?" You whisper, raising a hand to brush through his hair. You receive a sleepy hum for a response as you pull the blanket over him. "Rest well then."

You can feel his breathing slow as sleep comes over him. It's rather endearing, watching him melt in your embrace, relax to your warmth. Oh, you loved him dearly. And you had no qualms to saying it out loud.

"I love you," you say, a gentle whisper as you lay a soft kiss against his forehead. You would repeat those words for him over and over again until the whole world knew. You would let those words echo through your shared house, letting its warmth fan the fire of the hearth, allowing your abode flourish in the warmth of a home.

And you were sure he heard you, as you felt his hand brush against yours, his index finger curling around yours, wrapping your finger in a gentle, yet firm, hold.

The sky remained hidden behind large, fluffy grey clouds, indicating the rain that would soon fall on Sumeru City. It made sense then of the people rushing back into the shelter of their homes before they get caught in the upcoming downpour.

You simply smiled at the idea of a cozy evening. You paused in your tracks, however, as you caught the whiff of flowers. Turning around, you catch glimpse a flower vender, packing up their stall as the other merchants did.

You returned home, grinning brightly despite the light scoldings of the elderly flower vender who was rushing to return home.

"I'm home!" You chirp in a sing-song. And ah, the sight of your beloved welcoming you back with a warm smile.

You thrust the flowers into Alhaitham's hand, feeling absolutely gleeful at the surprise flashing across his face. His widened eyes, momentary gaping melting into a smile as he recognizes the bouquet of flowers to be the same as the first gift you had given him at the start of your love story.

"I have something for you too," he says in a soft whisper before disappearing into your shared bedroom before returning with another bouquet of flowers in hand. Ah, seems he must have encountered the flower vendor on his way home as well.

His gaze remains on you as you laugh at the coincidence, his eyes honeyed with endearment and softened with amusement.

Oh and his silent laugh as you jumped into his arms, hugging him tight.

"I love you."

You were sure you found your heaven on earth.

You love your off days. Not only did you get to sleep peacefully until the sunlight seeping in through the curtains slowly awake you, but you get to enjoy the sight of your sleepy beloved. The whispered 'good morning's as you take each other in an embrace, snuggling until late in the morning, that joy was unparalleled.

Preparing meals together, snuggling on the couch as one napped and the other read, random chit-chat about some curious thing that happened at work throughout the week; these were all simple moments, but things you yearned for when you had to be apart because of work.

You enjoy watching the sunset with Alhaitham, sitting down on the ground, surrounded by the smell of the grass and dirt. Waiting until the moon rose high as you listened to him narrate bits of poetry in languages you could only dream of learning.

As you worked around in the kitchen with him, preparing dinner, you smiled contentedly.

"I love you," you mummer.

A soft kiss lands atop your head as Alhaitham continues to work around you, leaving you grinning brighter than ever.

"I love you lots," you say amidst your soft chuckles.

"I love you too," Alhaitham smiles back. "More than words could ever express."

"Really?" You cock an eyebrow playfully, not bothering to hide how his words made you soar over the moon.

"Really," he says, not minding your playfulness. "I could use all the words I know, speak all the languages I can, and it still wouldn't suffice to express what you make me feel, how happy you make me."

Alhaitham turns towards you, devoting his utmost attention to you. "Your laugh, your smile, your voice, your eyes, they will always be more beautiful than any language, any poetry that the world has to offer. You are the language I love most, and the only one I want to remain fluent in until my time runs out."

a/n : I previously wrote this drabble (a quiet love) for alhaitham and enjoyed writing it a lot, so I wanted to write more for him (I'm definitely not biased.... okay maybe a tiny bit hehe—); but yeah, I really like the idea of alhaitham following the 'actions speaks louder than words' if it wasn't already obvious

→ this fic was the (3+1) kinda type, or well, I had that in mind when writing it; dunno if it was noticeable or not lmao

p/s : now that my senior year of highschool started, I might be a bit irregular at posting (not that I actually wrote consistently before—), but I don't have too hard courses this semester, so who knows I actually might be a tiny bit consistent; but yeah you get the point right?