#and genuinely wondering whats the fuck off point of it all

[elleandstufff]

Let's Play a Game -`✮´- Part 3

Young and in the club scene due to the family business, you meet an up-and-coming rapper who calls himself Thanos. As the two of you become deeply embedded in the dark world of fame, money, and drugs, you begin to wonder if you can make it out alive. Pre-games, during the games, and post-games Thanos/Choi Su-bong x fem!reader

Chapter Warnings: Club setting, moderate drinking, your friends suck, sneaking around (and getting caught…), protective!Thanos (he knows how to fight and is not afraid to), fluff/cuteness, you meet his mom, reader gets a migraine at one point, SMUT, oral (both receiving), p in v, squirting, soft dom!Thanos, creampie (reader has IUD), tummy bulge/tummy pressing, praise kink, overstimulation, reader is a sex crier but I wouldn’t classify it as dacryphilia, aftercare, soooo many pet names, there’s a lot going on, okay? Dialogue written in bold italics is spoken in English, 5.4k words

Note: If you don’t like smut you can skip that section and the story will still make sense (this goes for all future chapters as well). Otherwise enjoy <3

Part 1 Part 2 Masterlist

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Your name being called pulls you away from swiping through pictures of you and Su-bong. For the last three weeks, you spent every night at the club with him watching his performances and then sneaking around together. During the day the two of you texted constantly. The two of you hadn’t yet put a label on your relationship, but you considered him your boyfriend. It all felt a bit juvenile, but for once you were happy that someone was willing to show that they wanted you for you. 

“Sorry, what?” you ask after your name is called once again. 

“I’ve been trying to talk to you for five minutes,” your friend, Eun-yeong says from behind the driver’s wheel. She was the daughter of one of your father’s business partners, so you had been friends by default for quite a while.

“She’s been obsessed with her phone ever since she started dating that rapper. Oh, wait, they’re not even dating yet,” Eun-yeong’s twin sister, Han-na, says. 

Eun-yeong snaps back at her sister. “We’re adults now. You don’t have to officially ask anymore.”

“You have to at least kiss,” Han-na says. 

“I don’t know… I think it’s kinda nice we’re taking things slow,” you mutter while looking out the car window. “I’ve never had anyone be genuinely interested in me without some kind of ulterior motive.”

Han-na looks back at you from the front seat and you shrink back, feeling like a little kid being scolded. “He’s twenty-five, babe. By this point you should practically be living together. Our older sister fucked her husband within, like, an hour of meeting him.” 

“I don’t think it has to be like that-” 

Eun-yeong squeals, cutting you off. “We need to stop and get Miss Social an energy drink so she’s not spacing out like last time.” 

You don’t want an energy drink, but Eun-yeong stops the car to let you and Han-na hop out of the car as she drives it around the block waiting for you two. You enter the little convenience store and pick out an energy drink to appease your friends. You get in line and as the person in front of you walks off an unexpected face comes into view. 

Behind the checkout counter, Su-bong looks like he’s seen a ghost. The t-shirt and work vest he wears are much different than the clothes you’re used to seeing him in, but you’d recognize his brown eyes and hand tattoos anywhere. 

“I didn’t know you worked here,” you say, breaking the silence between you two. 

“Yeah, I kinda need money…” He awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. 

You reach to hand the can forward for him to scan, but he pushes it back toward you with a smile. “It’s on the house.” 

“Ugh, come on. Eun-yeong is bitching because there’s some dude on her ass.” Han-na comes to your side with her face buried in her phone. She finally looks up and takes in the cashier. When she recognizes who it is, she makes a face. “Ah, this is your friend…” 

“I’ll see you tonight!” you can barely get out as Han-na is dragging you outside. 

As you wait outside, Han-na looks at you like you’re stupid. “You could do so much better, babe. You’re wasting your time on a wannabe rapper who works at a convenience store and hasn’t even kissed you yet when you could have ten of Korea’s richest men at your door tomorrow. We gotta work on this at lunch.” 

Eun-yeong pulls the car up and Han-na gets in. They roll the window down when you remain frozen in your spot on the concrete. 

“You guys go ahead,” you tell them through a tight-lipped smile. “I’m not really feeling well. I’m just gonna call a driver to come pick me up.” 

You try to ignore their angry whatevers as they pull away and you go back inside the store. “Forget something?” Su-bong asks. 

“Yeah, you,” you joke. “No, my friends are just mean. I’m going to call a driver to come pick me up, but my dad isn’t expecting me home for another hour…” 

“Well, in that case…” Su-bong opens the door to behind the counter, beckoning you in. He sits down and you join him on his lap. The second a customer comes in you’ll hop off, but for now it’s just you and him. 

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That night, your father has a last minute business ordeal that will keep him away for a week. Against your wishes, he orders your brother, Tae, to come and keep an eye on you. He gives Tae strict instructions on how to watch you that you immediately know you won’t be following. 

“Please just let the driver take you to the club tonight,” your brother asks. 

“This will be the first time I’ve ever driven to the club myself,” you say. “Besides, what was the point of him buying me a nice car if I never get to drive it anywhere?”

“Fine, just be careful. And don’t let Dad know.”

You are, in fact, very careful. When you arrive at The Social, you take special care to wipe down the car from any puddles you drove through. 

Once Su-bong arrives you launch yourself into his arms, unable to contain your excitement. He hugs you back, but you can tell he holds back since you’re both so used to having to sneak around. 

You pull away with a massive smile. “My dad had to fly to Tokyo for the whole week!”

The rest of the night is everything you could have hoped for. There’s no need for the two of you to hide, and you somehow feel closer than ever before. 

Right at four in the morning as security clears the building of any stragglers and the lights come on, Su-bong whispers an interesting proposition into your ear. “I don’t work tomorrow. How about you come stay at my place tonight?”

You start to say that you can’t because of your dad, but then you remember that he’s not here to control your every move. You excitedly accept his offer. 

He takes your hand in his after you get your keys and you’re almost out of the building before you hear your name being called. You turn to see your brother. 

“Where do you think you’re going now?” He asks. He looks from you to Su-bong then down to where your hands are intertwined together. 

You notice your brother’s quirked brow and you speak up. “Oh, this is Su-bong. Su-bong, this is my brother, Tae.” Su-bong reaches his hand out for your brother to shake, which your brother does but with suspicious eyes. 

“I’m just gonna stay at his place tonight, okay?”

“No, not okay,” your brother answers. You feel Su-bong’s grip on your hand involuntarily tighten. “I’ve already let you get away with a ton of stuff Dad would kill me for. This is just too far, okay? I’m sorry.” 

“Tae, it’s fine. Appa will never know. I’ll be careful.” 

“I will take good care of your sister. I promise,” Su-bong says. 

“Fine,” Tae begrudgingly agrees. “But be careful.” 

You leave the club hand in hand with the biggest smile on your face. Usually you’re stuck here for two or three more hours waiting for your father to finish up what he’s working on. You’re excited to get to sleep earlier than usual tonight, but you’re hoping you might get something else tonight too. 

The early morning air is chilly, so Su-bong slips his jacket off of his body and onto your shoulders. When you reach a puddle on the sidewalk, he promptly lifts you off your feet and over the puddle so you don’t get your nice boots wet. At the car, he opens the passenger door for you and slips the keys from your hand. He slips into the driver’s seat and runs his hands along the leather interior, the dash, and the steering wheel. “Damn, baby, this is nice!”

“Did you ask me over just to drive my car?” 

“Was it that obvious?” 

You lightly shove his arm at his joke. He grabs your hand and sits it on your lap. His hand grips your thigh, where it stays for the duration of the car ride. You’re in heaven by the end of the ride; this is something you could get used to. 

He leads you up to his apartment, and it’s not at all what you expect. He’s a young busy guy, so you expected a basic living room set-up with bare walls and probably an empty take out container or two. Instead, the place is spotless and there’s knick knacks and paintings all over the walls. It’s cozy. 

“This is my casa, baby. You like?” 

“Yeah, it’s great,” you say as you admire the various paintings and porcelain figures. “Didn’t take you for the kinda guy to collect porcelain figurines.” 

“They’re, uh, my roommate’s.” He coughs. 

“Is your roommate a sixty-year-old woman?” 

“Hey, she’s fifty-three.” He says, then pinches his nose. “I live with my mom.” 

You can tell he’s embarrassed, so you just shrug. “I live with my dad.”

“It’s different,” he says. 

“It’s not,” you reassure. You bravely reach for his hand. 

He rubs his thumb over your hand softly, and you see his pupils dilate ever so slightly. “Let me show you my room.” 

His room matches his personality better. The bed is unmade, but not messy. Posters cover the walls. There’s a desk in the corner with papers strewn about that contain half-written raps. 

“Nice posters-” you turn to say to him, but he cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours. His hands find your waist and you let one hand rest on his chest while the other reaches up to softly tangle in his hair. The kiss is so intense it shows that the two of you are not happy that you waited this long, but now that you have each other you’re never letting go. 

A needy whimper escapes your mouth, and he pulls his lips away from yours to lean down to your ear. “Fuckin’ love those pretty noises, baby. Let’s keep them coming, huh?” 

His grip on your hips tightens as he leads you to the bed. He leans you back on the bed and pulls away with one final kiss. “Gonna make you feel so good…”

He scrunches the fabric of your dress up to your waist, revealing your tiny pair of panties that barely covers anything. He rubs at your clothed clit and it’s nearly enough to make you squeal. He plants kisses all over the insides of your thighs. He’s just about to pull your panties down when you stop him with a quiet wait. 

He pulls away with confusion and concern in his eyes. He climbs over you to be level with your face that you’re shading with your hands out of embarrassment. “What’s wrong my Princess?” 

“When I finish… I make a mess…” 

His smile grows impossibly wide when he realizes what you mean. “Good.” 

He lowers himself back down and presses one slow kiss to your clothed pussy, before he takes the thin band of your panties in between his teeth and pulls them all the way off. He stares at you mesmerized and you instinctively press your legs together. He softly spreads them back open as he takes in your beauty. “So pretty and wet for me…” 

He wastes no time diving right into your wetness. His tongue greedily runs up and down your folds before settling on your overly-sensitive clit. He slowly pushes a finger into your hole and it has you arching your back. “Gotta get you ready for me, sweet girl,” his deep voice comes out muffled because he doesn’t stop or pull away from your pretty pussy. 

Both his tongue and his finger pick up speed and it causes your legs to give out and flop onto the bed. He grabs your thighs and locks his arms around them, effectively wearing your thighs as earmuffs. “You taste so fucking good.” 

The combination of his praise and his finger curling perfectly inside of you causes a string of whines and moans to slip from your lips. You’re close and he knows it. “C’mon, baby, let go. Make a mess for me.” 

That’s all it takes for you to gush around his mouth. He groans in ecstasy as he laps up your juices. When he’s finished, he comes back up to you and seals you in a kiss. You won’t meet his eye, so he softly grabs your chin to force you to look at him. “Don’t be embarrassed. You did so good for me, my good girl.” 

He starts to slide your dress off over your head but you stop him with a stubborn look. You tug at his shirt and his pants and he realizes what you want. “Since you’re such a good girl…”

He slips his shirt off and tosses it across the room. You trace your finger along his tattoo all the way from his finger to his shoulder where the ink disappears onto his back. He grins at you cockily. “You been waiting a while to do that?” 

You can’t hide your smirk at how fast he’s clocked you. Instead, you tug at his pants which he eagerly shove off. You let him pull your dress off and your bra, leaving you completely bare for him. You lean forward on your elbows toward his painfully hard erection begging to be free from the confines of his boxers. 

He realizes what you’re offering. “You want my cock down your throat, baby?” 

You eagerly nod and he helps you to your knees on the floor. He stands before you and softly cradles your chin in his hand. His thumb runs across your lips and you part them to allow entrance to his digit. He groans as his thumb pushes past your lips and into the warmth of your mouth. You suck on it for a moment, hollowing your cheeks, before he pulls his hand away. You frown at the loss, but he just pats your cheek. “Let’s replace that with my cock, mm’kay?”

He finally pulls down his boxers, and you’re absolutely floored at the sight. You’d felt it pressed against you at the club before, but you didn’t realize it was that big. He smirks at your reaction. “Open up, pretty girl.” 

You happily oblige, and seconds later you feel your mouth being stuffed full of him. He uses his dick to pull and stretch at your cheeks, before he slips both of his thumbs into the corners of your already stretched mouth. He looks down at the sight of you and your mouth stuffed full of him like a man who has won at life. “You look so gorgeous like this… so gorgeous and all mine.” 

He pulls his thumbs out and places one hand at the back of your head. His other hand gently takes yours in his and rests against his thigh. “You tell me if it’s too much, baby.”

His cock shoves deeper into your mouth until it hits the back of your throat. His hips start rocking forward and back as his cock slides in and out of your throat. You’re a drooling mess and he can only let out groans and strings of so pretty and good girl. 

He pulls away right as you can tell he’s close and you could nearly cry. You really wanted to taste him. 

“You can taste me next time, honey. I don’t want to finish before I feel your soft insides.” 

He guides you back to the bed where you can do nothing but stare back at him with glazed over eyes. He presses a couple of kisses to your neck before he looks into your eyes. “I don’t know if I trust myself to pull out…”

“Not a problem,” you say, your voice weak. “I have an IUD.” 

“Fuck…” He groans, burying his head in your neck. 

He teases your hole with his tip for a few minutes, loving how it makes you squirm and whine. Finally, he starts shoving into you while maintaining eye contact. The stretch is so overwhelming yet so pleasurable that it leaves your mouth hanging open. You can feel every single inch of him pressing into you so deep. He finally bottoms out and you swear you can feel him in your guts. 

“Mmm, look at that beautiful sight,” he says and you look down to see a bulge in your tummy from how deep he is. “Can you feel me right here, baby?” He presses a hand down on your tummy where he can feel himself. 

“Feels so good,” you whisper, tears pricking at your eyes from how overwhelming it all is. 

He kisses the tears on your face. “I know, baby, it’s a lot. But you’re doing good.” 

He starts moving his hips, slowly at first and then at a rapid pace that hits all the right spots. “So fucking tight… you’re fucking clenching me, but you’re taking my dick so fucking well like I knew you would.” 

He has stamina unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. He keeps fucking into you at his brutal pace like it’s nothing, pulling two more orgasms from you before he even gets close to his. But when he gets close you can feel the way he starts twitching inside you and the way his grip on your hips tightens. “Tell me you’re mine,” he grunts in your ear with a particularly hard thrust. 

“I’m fucking yours, forever.” 

That does him in. “I’m about to fill this pussy up. You look me in the eyes when I cum in you.”

You can barely keep your eyes open, but you obey him. He buries himself in you and paints your insides white. He stays inside you, telling you over and over again how well you did, but you’re so fucked out that you just feel him and only him until you come back to Earth. 

Once he slides out of you and back into his boxers your brain starts functioning again. He helps you to the bathroom to clean you up, and you’re glad that he has his own bathroom so you don’t have to walk through his house naked. Once clean, he leaves you for a minute so you can pee while he collects something for you to wear. He returns with one of his t-shirts, a pair of boxers, and a pair of socks. Once dressed he takes in the way his shirt hangs off of you so much. 

“Adorable,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He wraps an arm around you for stability since your legs are still so shaky. 

“Sorry,” you murmur when you see his bed has been stripped of its blanket. 

“Don’t ever be sorry,” he says sternly. “I put it in the wash, no big deal. What do you want to do now?”

“Watch cartoons…” you say sheepishly. 

“Cartoons?” 

“Yeah… I like to fall asleep watching TV, and they’re usually the only thing left on this early.” 

“If my girl wants cartoons, then cartoons are what my girl gets.” 

He takes you to the living room and the two of you settle into the big recliner with a blanket pulled over you. The recliner is big, but you still have to lay practically on top of him, which is just the way he likes it. You watch the cartoons for not even five minutes before you feel insanely sleepy. 

You look at Su-bong in your sleepiness and don’t even know what you’re saying until after you say it, “I think I love you.” 

You feel like an idiot for saying it so early, the sleep clouding your thoughts. But he just looks back at you with his pretty brown eyes. “I know I love you.” 

You lay your head on his chest with a smile, and within minutes you’re out like a light. 

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One minute you’re sleeping soundfully and the next you’re being awoken by the sound of a door shutting and blinding lights overhead. You feel Su-bong stirring underneath you before he tenses completely beneath you. Standing before you is a woman smiling ear-to-ear–undisputedly his mother. 

“Mom?! I thought you were staying at your sister’s this weekend?” 

“Oh, I was, but I decided to come home early. You know how she is… always double books plans.” 

You awkwardly sit up as best as you can on the cramped recliner. You’re sure this is a great first impression of you: sitting on top of her half-naked son. It’s clearly obvious what type of night you two had. 

“So?” she asks expectantly. “Are you going to introduce me?” 

The two of you stand and Su-bong awkwardly clears his throat. “Mom, this is my girlfriend.”

You offer her your name and your hand, but she surprises you by nearly squealing and pulling you into a tight hug. “Oh, thank God he finally brought a girl home!”

“Mom…” he groans in embarrassment.

“Hush,” she says, shooing him away with her hands. “Go put some clothes on.” 

You start to follow after him, but she grabs your hand. “Not you honey, you can come with me.” 

You look at Su-bong with wide eyes before following his mother into the kitchen. You take a seat at the table while she starts making breakfast. “I was wondering who he had been texting all this time. It’s nice to finally put a face to the girl.” 

You try to hide the blush that creeps up your cheeks. You’re thankful when Su-bong comes back wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, but you still feel half naked in his oversized shirt and boxers. “Maybe I should go get dressed too…” 

“Oh, no,” his mother says. “You’re fine. I just wanted him to cover up that god-awful back tattoo.” 

You stifle a laugh. You, of course, adore his tattoo, but his mother’s hatred of it makes you giggle. 

His mother makes you a homemade breakfast which you thoroughly enjoy. Being so busy, most of your meals consist of take-out or random snacks strung together and called a meal. As you eat, the three of you talk. Well, mostly you and his mom talk while he gets embarrassed. 

“Did you see that fancy car in the parking lot?” 

You wipe your face with a napkin. “That’s mine actually.” 

Her eyes grow wide. “Isn’t that so expensive?”

You look between her and Su-bong and clear your throat, unsure of how to answer. “Umm… My father bought it for me. He owns all of The Social clubs in Korea.” 

“Yes, if it wasn’t for my sweet girl, I wouldn’t have the gig at the club.” Su-bong smiles at you in an attempt to make you feel better.

His mom’s eyes grow even wider, if that’s possible. Then her shoulders slump as she looks around her kitchen. “Sorry, I know our house isn’t much…”

This is exactly the type of reaction you didn’t want, but you can’t blame her. It’s only natural. You only hope that this won’t be the only thing she thinks about you. 

“Your house is perfect,” you tell her. “It feels so much more like a home than my house.” 

She takes your hand. “Well, you’re welcome here anytime.”

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Much to your brother’s dislike, you spend pretty much every night at Su-bong’s for the rest of the week. The last night before your father comes home you come down with a terrible headache. You try everything from medicine to rest to a hot shower but nothing works. By evening you have to text Su-bong and let him know you won’t be able to come to the club tonight. He’s disappointed, but understanding of course. 

Shortly after the club opens, you start to feel better. You know better to risk heading to the loud environment of the club, so you just accept your fate that you’ll be sleeping alone tonight. After a while of watching stupid videos on your phone, you swear you’re hearing things. You hear the sound again. It almost sounds like… someone is throwing pebbles at your window. 

You hop off your bed and head to the window where the noise is coming from. Sliding the window open, you see none other than your boyfriend standing on the ground below with a handful of rocks. 

“What on Earth are you doing here?” 

“Not gonna let my girl sleep alone tonight, especially when she doesn’t feel well,” he says, grinning. “Can I come up or what?”

You laugh and usher him up. He scales the climb pretty easily and then he’s in your room–something you never thought would be possible. 

“How’d you know where my house was?” you ask him as he admires your room. 

“I just checked your location on my phone and I figured neither your father nor any of your brothers’ rooms would have Hello Kitty stickers on the window…” He gestures to the stickers adorning your window. 

“Those are old,” you say.

“No, they aren’t.”

The next morning you’re shaken awake to your brother’s panicked face. “Dad is fucking home early! He’s in the driveway right now!” 

You shake away the uncomfortable fact that if your brother knew to warn you, it means that he heard the two of you last night. . .

Tae runs off to try and delay your father while you shake Su-bong awake. You hate to rush him especially when his face is so cute and sleepy, but getting caught with a half-naked guy in your bed would probably be cause for your execution. You gather up all his strewn about clothes and shove him and his belongings into your closet. You lay back down and pretend to be asleep. Without missing a beat, your father comes into your room and sits beside you. You pretend to wake up and rub the sleep from your eye. 

“Goodmorning, Princess. Sleep well?”

“Yes, Appa.”

“Good, your brother said everything went well- Where’s this shirt from?” 

You freeze. You completely forgot you were wearing Su-bong’s shirt! “I just bought it as a sleep shirt.” 

“Ah.” He eyes your room suspiciously. “And why does it smell like a boy’s cologne in here?”

You freeze again. You’re fucked, but you recover quickly. “Boy’s cologne? Appa, how could you be so mean? That’s my new perfume!” 

His face softens. It worked. “Well, maybe stick with your old perfume, Angel.” 

He pats your head and leaves, allowing you to let Su-bong out of your closet. He pulls you into a sad kiss, knowing that your time is up for the morning. You try to shrug his shirt off to return it, but he stops you. “Keep it. It’s your sleep shirt, right?”

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The next couple months, you successfully avoid your father becoming aware of your secret relationship. You mainly only see Su-bong at the club, but thankfully you have your secret spot that the two of you can sneak off to. 

When it comes to your twentieth birthday, you celebrate secretly with Su-bong the night before by telling your father you were staying the night with Han-na and Eun-yeong. Thankfully you get away with it because your father doesn’t care enough to verify this information with their father. 

The night of your birthday, your father closes down the club and invites your “friends” and they invite their friend’s friends. The club is filled to the brim with people who don’t give a crap about you, but you simply have to grin and bear it otherwise you’d look like an ungrateful brat. You have to literally sneak Su-bong in through the back because there’s no way you could convince your father to invite him without sounding alarm bells. He has to keep his distance, too, so that no one catches on. You spend most of the night shrugging random guy’s arms off of your shoulders. You can feel Su-bong’s eyes on you all night, and you can sense that he’s not happy. You don’t blame him; you’re not happy right now either. 

Toward the end of the night, a particularly insistent guy won’t leave you alone. “C’mon, why won’t you just come out to my car with me? Got something to show you…” 

All of a sudden, the man is shoved into the wall by a livid Su-bong. “You better fuck off before things get nasty, and I wouldn’t want the birthday girl to have to see you get your teeth knocked out on her birthday.” 

The dude rubs at his sore shoulder and starts to leave, but he looks at Su-bong first. “Whatever, dude. She’s not gonna fuck you.” 

“She already has, idiot,” Su-bong says at the man’s back, but he probably doesn’t hear it. 

You drag him outside to get some fresh air. “You okay? I didn’t want you to see me get violent, but I just couldn’t watch anymore-” 

You cut him off by pressing a kiss to his lips. “I love you. I’m sorry it has to be like this.” 

“I'll sneak around my whole life if it means I get to spend it with you.” 

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The next morning you sit at the kitchen table eating your sorry excuse at breakfast when your father comes and sits across from you. From the heaviness in the air, you know something is wrong. “We need to talk.” 

“I’m just going to be blunt. I’m very disappointed in you. I told you not to speak to that boy anymore, but you have been for months. And don’t lie to me more than you already have.”

You feel sick. How could he know? You’ve been so careful. “How? How did you know?”

“I heard there was an issue last night at the club involving you. I checked the cameras. And then I watched old footage. You’ve been with him every night, sneaking away to do God knows what.” The cameras. Of course. How could you be so stupid to not think about that?

“Appa, please! I love him!” You sob. “He’s so good to me!”

Your father’s hand clenches then unclenches. His nostrils flare, as if he can’t believe what he’s saying. “After reviewing the footage and seeing him defending you, I am… considering allowing you to continue seeing him. I’m not going to be happy about it but there are worse men out there, and I’m beginning to realize I can’t control you much longer.”

You tightly throw your arms around your father’s neck. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

“Hey! I said I was considering!” your father yells after you, but it’s too late. You’re already running to grab your phone to tell Su-bong. 

ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ . 𖥔 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ˑ

Author's Note: I’m so sorry this took so long. In the last couple weeks I went on vacation, accidentally became important at work and got a new position with a lot more responsibility, and there’s the constant onslaught of school assignments. And I’ve been off and on sick for like a month and have no energy </3 ugh! But here it is I hope you like it <3 I will be working on the other parts of this and other works too! I also have an anon request I’m working on. I didn’t forget about you anon! <3

ᡣ𐭩 Taglist ᡣ𐭩

@naatggeo

@private-vampire

@arzias

@chxrrybomb22

[tennco]

part of me wants to look more into this supposed decline of touhou, it's fascinating. but here's what i got now.

1.there are overall less touhou fanworks being made

this is mostly measured by doujin circles that apply to conventions. which, while a big part of it, is not the whole sum, specially since nowadays more people may opt to share their work digitally. also fails to account that conventions had considerably less overall attendance post-pandemic and it's still too soon to tell if that has normalized again.

2.touhou and doujin are more commercial than before (got nothing myself but i'd be inclined to agree, sure. then again things like merchandise have been around for a long while)

3.less quality than before (not really i already went over this)

ok but to be fair there was a dip in popularity somewhere post-UFO right. which is one of the games people like to point out as the downfall, along with anything else ranging from MoF to HSiFS because who gives a shit anyways. but that's a little bit misleading, it's not that there was a dip after UFO, it's more likely there was a peak with UFO. and i did no research on this next point to be fair, other than ZUN's account who largely alleged to it around the time of UM, but like i implied earlier with digital mediums being so prevalent there is the possibility that the decrease in doujin circles on conventions could be the result of a shift in the general landscape and not an observation endemic to touhou.

alright so what about the community. well i'm gonna leave out the bigoted takes (which have significant overlap with the rest i wonder why) because they deserve nothing more than shut the fuck up. everything else is all over the place, these are some of the sentiments i've seen over the years.

cries about secondaries and whatever the fuck a "tourist" is supposed to be. "oh they don't play the games", and if they do it's "oh they don't read the print works" this is just stupid i got nothing else to say about it.

"porn is good" but also "porn is bad and everyone is a gooner" this is also stupid.

"everyone just agrees or justifies everything ZUN does, there's no criticism" sometimes, and that should change. it doesn't signify anything though.

"there's politics now" lol

"touhou should've stayed niche" it's still niche but i know right? it's like this used to be my little corner and now there's all these people i don't know playing with my toys in ways i don't like. come the fuck on man.

and i think that's the thing. it's not about the statistics or the quality or the content or whatever else. either these people have completely shut themselves off on their own volition due to this perception that others are "corrupting" this thing they love (i wasn't kidding about the overlap up there btw), or they don't accept they are just bored with the series and continue to linger for some reason, and instead of moving on to something else they just start looking for ways to justify their disdain because there's no way it's just me it's gotta be ZUN's fault or the fans or this or that. but above all this is nothing new, we've been doing this for almost twenty years, touhou's been dying for twenty years apparently come on.

anyways sorry for the rant. that's my message, if a piece of media is genuinely not making you happy anymore there's no reason to keep engaging with it, no one's forcing you to stay i promise. let go. this should be obvious.

[itz-pandora]

:/

Well I was bedridden like all morning bc of cramps and because I couldn't get up to make sure my sister was awake, she's mad at me for her missing school (I called her like 4 different times trying to wake her up but I couldn't GET UP) and now she's blaming ME for her missing school and she might miss watching a band concert because of me and I'm like. GIRL. I am NOT responsible for YOU.

Sure, we make sure each other is up sometimes but today I COULDN'T GET UP TO WAKE HER UP. WHEN IT'S NOT MY JOB TO! The situations have been reversed before, where she stayed home and I overslept, but I wasn't a condescending petty bitch about it and I didn't blame her! I was like "oh, my bad, I need to get to ask someone to drive me to school" and I did! I didn't just skip school while being all petty about it.

This girl is a whole ass adult, a whole 18, she's a senior in highschool and she blames me for feeling like shit because I couldn't get up to wake her up?? Like, girl, OWN UP???

She won't even plan extra for her oversleeping???? Like, she misses her alarm so often, while I do it like, half or less of the time she does. She doesn't set extra alarms and she refuses to use anything else than her phone. I'm like GIRL YOU KNOW THIS IS AN ISSUE SO SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE AND SET MORE ALARMS for the love of God this girl can't solve her own problems. LIKE SHUT UP WITH YOUR "I might miss the wind ensemble" while looking at me with that condescending ass smile SHUT THE FUCK UP and you wonder why I'm always on edge around your bitch ass. "You need to get medicated for your anger" YOU need to quit being such an infuriating person! But if I said that then I'd be the bad guy so I just bite my tongue and leave you alone. It's not like I have outbursts or anything, I'm just. Mad. Like, visibly mad, but I'm literally not hurting anyone or anything. I make so many accomodations for this girl but I feel like the asshole if I'd even ask for one. What the fuck.

I'm sick of needing to be the bigger person for a girl that's a year and a half older than me. Sometimes it feels like she only loves me as far enough as I'm useful or entertaining to her. Ugh

I don't hate her, I don't think she's an awful person, but FUCK this girl is in an echo chamber of her own creation and puts herself on a pedestal for it and it drives me nuts

She doesn't realize how genuinely she fucked me up too. She doesn't know how much of my self esteem issues are caused from her. She fucked up my social skills so severely that I automatically assume everyone hates me or is better off without me. I assume everyone else had better friends than me (which is right because I'm so introverted and shy because of her). I only really have somewhere between 2-7 people I consider friends irl and I barely talk to them outside of school. The closest irl person I have is my other sister and she's really my best friend. I've gotten to the point where if I don't talk to someone for long enough, I assume they don't like me or think I'm annoying, and it's so scary because I feel like I can't talk to anyone. It's so isolating, and I'm like 90% sure is stemmed from my sister who's pissing me off stealing my friends form me in elementary school to the point they'd rather hang out with her over me. I used to run to some corner and cry my eyes out because I felt so unloved by any friends around me. When I told her about it, she sounded sympathetic, but never changed her behavior. My mom and dad had to tell her to bring me over to my friends houses if she wanted to go so I wouldn't feel left out, and in retrospect that's so humiliating.

Whatever I just needed to vent.

I'm so sorry for this, I just needed to type something out.

[ghostofsnails]

so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and

[talentforlying]

thinking endlessly about constantine's patterns of self-destruction re: his relationships with other people and how they stem from self-loathing so deep he can never crawl out of it. how a part of him is convinced that he's not actually saving anyone, just resetting pins in the miserable bowling alley of his life so someone with a lot more deadly aim can send them scattering again.

how his response to a display of care or affection that he can't explain away as ruse or manipulation is to try to slap it away, and how he fails more often than not to be anything other than clearly, obviously desperate for it to go on. how he drives people away and then hates himself for missing them — how he still gets blamed when he inevitably cares enough to try to protect them and they end up worse than if they'd run off the way he begged them to.

the worst part is that it's become such a pattern of his to protect people by alienating them that sometimes he pushes back without even knowing. bites the hand that feeds and doesn't realize until the damage has been done and he's forced to double down rather than admit he fucked up. because constantine's most egregious sin is pride, always has been: it's the sin that got him damned. and even when he sees fit to apologize to someone, it's only ever someone who knows him well enough to ask what he's trying to get from them with it.

[orcelito]

ok i watched episode 16 of trigun 98 and i have a Few Thoughts, but the biggest ones are:

HE PISSSED ON THE MOOOOOON

&

Is This Some Sort Of Twisted Christian Science?

no joke i had to pause the video for the twisted christian science thing bc i was laughing so fucking hard i was nearly choking. thanks, rai-dei

& of course the Moon Beam which was expected. what WASNT expected was the fact that Legato caused it instead of Knives. but knowing what happened in chapter 32 of trimax, it's not entirely out of the realm of the manga's canon either. but i Am sad about how we didnt get to see the #Looks both Vash and Knives served in the fifth moon incident in the manga. man.

interesting implications all around. im wondering where the Fuck knives is, bc we saw in the manga that he was regenerating, but now it's like. where tf is he, actually? we've only gotten snapshots of him so far. the briefest of thoughts. episode 16 and we're only just now getting direct confirmation that Vash is VERY not human (plus a confirmation that July was set 23 years ago in the anime, which is an added weirdness for new watchers who dont know about him being functionally immortal)

preview of the next episode shows that it's Backstory Episode. im done watching for today but im looking forward to seeing what the anime sets for that

[lumalalu]

why on earth do you even want a fe4 remake if you dont want anything to change just go play the original game.

[pa-pa-plasma]

look i know it's probably just really petty (it isn't, the whole message of this episode, even ignoring the twitch namedrop, was disgusting tbh) but i don't think i'll ever get over how one day at a time decided to alienate an entire chunk of their audience because of an assumption/stereotype they decided to not look into at all before making a whole ass episode about it. "oh just get over it" THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A SUBSCRIPTION IS. OR AN EMOTE. I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY KNOW WHAT STREAMING IS LIKE GENERALLY. TWITCH IS FREE. THERE IS NO PAYWALL TO USING THE SITE OR APP. THEY COULD'VE JUST LOOKED THIS SHIT UP OR ASKED SOMEONE WHO USES IT. DO YOU SEE HOW STUPID & FUCKED UP THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS COMPARED TO EVERYTHING THAT CAME BEFORE IT. I CAN'T GET OVER IT.

[catfishofoldin99colours]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Bad.

[ajdrawshq]

hi . i (mostly) finished the game. if u couldnt tell

[fionnaskyborn]

I wonder if there is like a quota for how many fuckups a man can make in life. I don't know where I was going with this. I guess I just wish every step I made wasn't one in the wrong direction, or that I could at least backpedal out of bad decisions without any fatal consequences like damaging someone else. Life sucks.

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

my energy levels b like: i wake up. i feel refreshed and want to do things so i write a to do list. i maybe accomplish 2 things. its lunchtime so i eat. then i get very tired. so i lay in bed for 3 hours hoping to sleep but i dont. 5 pm hits and i end up doing more things for about an hour then its dinnertime. i eat and then my brain goes "oh so were done for the day" and then i do nothing and pass out in bed with all the lights on around 9 pm

[cursingtoji]

cw: band au, rockstar!geto x groupie!gf, slight manipulation?, car sex, oral. a/n: geto deserves a loser gf too. gojo version nanami version toji version

geto who has a rock band and though they’re quite small they already have a #1 fan: you.

the band is all you talk about, going to the point of making your own shirts and posters, you doodle the bands logo everywhere and, most importantly you don't miss a single concert.

by the end of it you're waiting next to the back door of the pub when the band comes out, as soon as you see suguru you call his name extending your little gift bag.

"woah for me? thanks, doll." he takes your chin and gives your glossy lips a peck that makes your heartbeat spike up and your face warm up. geto fucking suguru just kissed you!

during all that week you were on cloud nine, so distracted and giggly.

of course geto notices you, always in the front row and ready to give the band some gifts, he sees how you try to dress up as one of them before they even realize they have a visual identity.

geto likes having fangirls, if anything that’s the best sign that the band is doing well. till that point he never considered engaging to one in a more intimate level. after all, women were never a problem for him, fans or not.

the problem is when they think more of the relationship than it really is. geto has always made sure they knew that sleeping together and treating them well was not synonymous to committed relationship.

because he already is committed. to his music. so after spending the whole day trying to come up with a new song so the band may finally have a complete album to present to a record, he takes a frustrated break picking up his phone and to his dismay only finding a long message about how he hurt someone’s feelings.

“oh for fucks sake” he lets his phone fall on the couch and take his keys, this is not a good week to quit smoking.

“geto?” he hears a small voice calling him after he leaves the convenience store with a very much needed cigarette on his lips and nicotine in his system.

“oh hey” he recognizes you by name and face.

“you’re using the lighter” you point out enthusiastically, that was a limited edition you bought and gifted him.

“that’s right, you bought me this, did i say thank you?” he’s genuinely wondering, your face heats remembering the kiss.

“i-its no big deal” you brush it off, since he doesn’t seem to be in a rush you start to babble about one specific song and everything you loved about it, knowing he was the composer.

“do wanna go to my place?” he says after quietly listening to your passionate thoughts. you think steam is about to come out of your ears at how hot your face got.

geto throws away what’s left of his cigarette and takes your hand, not really waiting for a response since the heart in your eyes is pretty obvious.

“you’re so cute” he says with his face mushed into your breasts as he guides your movements on his lap. you never guessed when you came out this morning you would be riding your favorite guitarist’s dick a few hours later, if you knew you probably would’ve put a sexier lingerie. not that he would care, by the way he pushed your bottoms down all at once he probably didn’t even know what color your underwear was.

geto pulled your hair tilting your head to meet his mouth, he devoured you so intensely, so overwhelming… you came not even needing your clit to be touched, just by having him inside you and breathing into your mouth like that was enough.

for suguru it was all a power trip, when he saw you after a concert he knew it wouldn’t take you much sweet talking to get you in his car.

he quickly mumbled an excuse to meet the band at the bar later and in just a few minutes he had you bobbing your head down his cock, “just like that, gorgeous, so good” his head is thrown back as he moans softly.

and as the band grew more popular and they had to travel to other cities to perform he would always count on you to meet him at his hotel room.

“geto~” you mewl his name as he eats your pussy from behind so lewdly.

from the very first time you knew it was over for every other guy the moment he touched you. no matter what anyone said about geto, that he was using you, he would never marry you, you didn’t care. you would be his devotee as long as he wanted.

and geto got all he wanted, a pretty little thing that didn’t complain or asked too many questions and best of all: that loved his music and understood his work.

“i know, you have to practice” you kiss him one last time before gathering your clothing from the floor, the hints of him not wanting to stay over were all memorized at this point, so you turn your back at him and make your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

but the usual sound of the door opening and closing never came, instead you saw him coming from behind to lace strong arms around your waist, “well maybe just tonight” he smells your hair and through the mirror he sees the tattoo bellow your belly button, just above the hem of your underwear. your prof of love: the logo of the band.

geto touches it and you giggle at the feathery feeling, like a tickle, he likes that sound. he likes you.

“i was thinking you should get another, right here” a finger caress your right ass cheek.

“the same one?” you ask confused.

“no, silly, something else” he gets down hands caressing your hips and kissing the extension of your butt, “my name.”

[shitpostingsapphic]

My favorite headcanons for caitvi are ones where they met as kids/teens, by far

Like it's so fucking cute, the idea that Caitlyn would be immediately drawn to Vi due to her curiosity, and Vi can't help but be smitten by Caitlyn's atypical behaviors and willingness to explore new concepts and experiences and ideas.

Just like when they meet as adults in the original universe, their backgrounds should make them incompatible, but there's that inexplicable draw that brings them together.

Imagine Caitlyn tags along with Jayce to his visits in the undercity without telling her parents and can't stop staring at the pink haired girl she sees there at the shop, just hanging around, and they meet eyes, and BOOM, instant connection. Vi also sneaks glances and realizes she's never seen a Piltie girl her age this close before. She wonders if they're all this pretty.

Imagine Vi is sneaking around topside to catch glimpses of Caitlyn, because she feels like she shouldn't be so drawn to a Piltie, but she is anyway.

Imagine one day Caitlyn actually catches sight of Vi across the street as she tries to remain inconspicuous, but Caitlyn would recognize that pink hair in a heartbeat. Imagine she sneaks away from her mother or whoever she's with in order to go talk to her.

"It's you," she says, shy yet bold.

Vi, of course, tries to play it off. "Dunno what you're talking about, topside." But the blush on her cheeks tells another story.

Caitlyn ignores the very obvious attempts at ignorance. "I've been wanting to come visit the shop again, but it's hard for me to find the chance to get away from my mother. She's kind of overprotective."

Vi decides it's best not to play dumb, but can't completely be honest about wanting to see her as well. "You're sure you wanna share about your life with me? Maybe your mom's got a point, shouldn't associate with undercity trash and all."

Caitlyn frowns. "I don't think you're trash. That's silly. Why would you call yourself that?"

Vi is caught a bit off guard. "Isn't that what all you Pilties think of us?"

"I certainly don't." Caitlyn cocks her head as this leaves Vi without a response. "Why are you here, anyway?"

Vi stumbles around in her head for an answer. Shoves her hands in her pockets. Kicks a rock aside. Shrugs. "W-why are YOU talking to me?"

This makes Caitlyn smirk. "I DID say I've been meaning to come back to the shop. What do you think?"

"Dunno. Could want a number of things there." Vi has been staring at the ground but peers up at Caitlyn here. "Give me a hint?" The barest of upturned lips.

This makes Caitlyn break out into a genuine smile that steals Vi's breath a bit. "You're kind of adorable, you know that?"

Vi sputters. "Am NOT."

"Are so." Caitlyn tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Can't help but think the girl's freckles compliment her blush well.

Vi rolls her eyes, trying to pretend her brain isn't setting off fireworks. "I don't even know your name."

"Would you like to know it?" Caitlyn says, tilting her head.

"Since you insist on teasing me, I think it's fair."

"But you make it so easy," Caitlyn giggles. "Alright. I'm Caitlyn."

"Caitlyn," Vi breathes. Shakes her head. Clears her throat. Thrusts her hand out, scuffed up palms and knuckles and all. "I'm Vi."

"Vi. Pleasure to meet you." Caitlyn takes her hand without hesitation, notices how rough they feel compared to hers, incredibly intrigued.

"Caitlyn!" A voice calls. The girls both turn. It's her mother.

"Shit." Caitlyn breathes.

This makes Vi laugh, surprised. "Didn't know princesses could use words like that."

"Oh, hush." Caitlyn looks back at her, panicked. "I have to go. I'm sorry." Her eyes shift so they're alight with mischief. She jerks her head towards her mom. "You've got a talent for sneaking around, I assume?"

"And if I do?"

"Wait until we're out of sight. Maybe if you're good enough, you can stay under her radar." Caitlyn smirks. "Maybe you could teach me how to sneak about myself. Could come in handy."

Without giving Vi a chance to respond, she turns away, skirt swishing about.

And if Vi does exactly what Caitlyn says, following her home out of sight, and later taps at the same glass doors of the balcony she sees the girl disappear into after a while of spying, no one is the wiser. She figures she doesn't need to tell Vander what she's been up to just yet.

[stardust-thief]

look after you

an: this my first x reader fic LMAOO, i needed to write smth and this spencer was on my brain :// i am in the middle of a rly long donna fic but i cba this was much easier. also i absolutley have not proof read this sorry

synopsis: you get hurt while hunting down an unsub, after some reluctance (and kind words from papa rossi) you let spencer take care of you, 1.7k words

cw: descriptions of violence, panic attack, spencer swears and can drive (the most un-canon thing abt him) umm italians..., the rest is just fluffy, hurt/comfort, x reader but no y/n

masterlist

The unsub had his gun pointed at you, the cold press of the barrel against flesh. He was ranting and raving about needing to be seen and understood, having spent his childhood in emotional neglect. Teachers and parents failed him at every turn, it’s not his fault that this happened but he can fix it if he just drops the gun. Rossi tried to tell him this over and over, but he only got more angry, pushing the gun in harder and harder. 

If you were to open your eyes, you would’ve seen JJ and Luke there too, guns trained on the unsub. Their eyes glancing between you, the unsub, and the gun. But you didn’t. Not until the bang went off and you could breathe again. 

The flashing lights of the ambulance do nothing to dissuade the pressing headache you feel coming on, the movement of people helps even less. You watch as the EMT’s cart the unsub away on a gurney, sheet covering him. 

“You okay, kid?” Rossi asks from beside you, he had been hovering ever since the ambulance arrived. 

“I’m fine, just need a good night's rest. I’ll be good as new.” You hummed half-heartedly. 

David Rossi always knew when someone was lying to him, part of that talent comes from his job as a profiler, but it’s mostly because of some ancient Italian magic. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that to me. Look, Hotch is on his way with Reid and Emily. They’re gonna be taking some witness statements, but I imagine Boy Wonder will be a little distracted. I want you to let him take care of you, ok? You’ve been through hell tonight kid, let him worry.”

Italians never lie, although you wish they did. Spencer had very obviously caught feelings for you, everyone on the team could see it. Unfortunately, so could you. Spencer Reid was one of the kindest, most genuine people you had ever met, always putting other people's needs before his own. A voice in your head kept telling you that there is nothing you have done to deserve someone like him doting all over you? You had only brought trouble to the people who loved you. Eventually you learned that it was better to just keep everyone at a distance; if you don’t let them in, they can’t get hurt. Which worked well, up until Spencer.

He had such a wormy way of getting into your brain at the worst times; whether it was when you were alone in your kitchen, or at slightly dangerous, very inappropriate times on a case. You couldn’t stop thinking about him and his stupidly cute (and sometimes ill-timed) facts. Some part of you wanted to let him in, in the end the stubborn side always took over. 

Before long, you heard the worried cries of Spencer trying to find you in the chaos. Rossi called his name and gave you a pat on the shoulder, “Remember, you deserve to be looked after too.” and left to find Hotch.

“Oh my god, are you okay? We tried to get here as soon as we could, but they managed to take down the unsub right? What happened, did he hurt you? How did you get so close? Talk to me are-” Oh, how he rambles. 

“Spencer, I’m fine. I just need to… rest, you know. He didn’t hurt me that bad, just a sprained wrist, couple bruises. Could’ve been worse.”

He spluttered, “Could’ve- you know, that doesn’t make this any better, I was so worried about you. He had a fucking gun to your head, I was going insane thinking about what could’ve happened. What did the EMT say about your wrist?”

“Just to rest it, and use an ice pack if it starts to swell or hurt.” You couldn’t look him in the eye, he was so worried about you. It made butterflies dance in your belly, but there was a twinge of guilt there too. He was so busy, he worked so hard and then went home to look after his mom. He had too much on his plate, how could you add more to it? “Spence, I’m really sorry about worrying you. I should be fine to leave now, so I’ll just head home and sleep it off. Have a good night.” You pushed yourself off the ambulance, eyes focused downwards, restless fingers fidgeting with the already frayed bandage.

“No- wait what are you talking about? You’re gonna drive yourself home in this condition? I can’t let you do that, even thinking about it makes me feel sick.” He lowered his head to yours and spoke softer this time, “Please let me take you home. I don’t have to stay, I just want to make sure you’re ok, ok?”

Fuck that voice did things to you. Leaning from side to side, you thought about what Rossi had said earlier. Maybe, it was ok to let someone in? It would be cruel to let him suffer more, not knowing if you were ok or somehow got in a car crash with 5 other vehicles on your way home. Just this once, you think.

Looking up into his soft eyes, you give a small nod. His lips immediately turned up into a smile, his hand comes up to cup your head, fingers stroking your cheek. It felt… nice. His thumb was calloused but he still moisturised enough for it to feel smooth, and he smelled like lemongrass and ginger. His hand fell to the small of your back as he guided you to his car. Ever the gentlemen, he opened your door and softly placed his hand over your head as you got in. Manoeuvring himself into the driver's side, he pulled out his phone and typed something, then quickly stuffed it away into a pocket and turned on the engine.

The sky was dark when you woke up. The unsub had a gun to your head at dusk, and Spencer was walking into your apartment when the moon was out. He took off his shoes and the door, and walked into your living room.

“I’ve never been here before,” he mused. “I like it.”

He looked at ease wandering around your apartment, his shoulders had relaxed and he let out soft musings as he perused your photo collections.

“Oh Spencer, not that one, it’s embarrassing!” You tried (with not a lot of effort) to pull him away from the frame.

“No this is cute, was this when you were at University?” He asked, wrapping an arm around you.

Oh my god. “Yeah, um- those were some of my friends at the time. I try and keep in touch but, you know.”

He hummed, pulling you closer into him. Finally content, he looked down at you. “How’s your wrist?”

“It’s ok,” you shrugged, “just a little tender now.”

“Where’s your kitchen, I can get some ice.”

“Spence-” you wanted to tell him no, to go home and look after himself. But his body was so warm, having him so close to you melted your brain, leaving you unable to think of any good reason as to why he should leave. “It’s the first door on the right.”

His grip tightened for a moment before he swiftly navigated you to the sofa, and turned to leave for the kitchen. The cold of the apartment rushed to get you as soon as he unraveled his arms. You hadn’t been alone all day since the unsubs attack, it somehow felt more claustrophobic. His hand on your throat, squeezing the air from your lungs. The way he grabbed your arm, contorting it so he could throw you to the ground. The gun, pressed into your forehead. The knowledge that the only thing between you being alive, and you being in a ditch, was a madman's finger on the trigger. Reality faded as each memory pressed further and further into your mind. You weren’t in your apartment anymore, you could feel the cold concrete beneath your hands. The thick air in your lungs, Rossi and the unsub shouting.

A hand on your knee, a soft voice bringing you back. There was no unsub, no gun to your head. You were alive. You were alive and Spencer was in your apartment, wiping the tears that had fallen down your face.

“You with me?” His voice was so soft, you couldn’t recall ever hearing Spencer raise his voice in anger. He was so gentle when he touched you. 

The floodgates burst, choked sobs made their way past your lips. Your shoulder shook as you cried, pressing yourself into Spencer’s arms. “Oh honey,” He murmured, pressing his lips into your head, softly rocking you back and forth as you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. It was too much. You could have died today. Very nearly did. You weren’t ready to die, not yet at least.

As your cries softened into hiccups, you pushed yourself back from Spencer. “I’m sorry, that was so disgusting. It just all- I don’t know.”

 “Hey, you don’t ever have to apologise to me ok? What you went through was really scary, I’d honestly be more shocked if you didn’t cry.” His hand moved to draw soothing shapes along your back as you leaned back into him. “You want to watch something to calm down? I brought you some water and an ice pack for your wrist.”

He would be the death of you. You nod and push yourself back into the sofa, moving your wrist to rest in your lap. Spencer gently places the ice pack across your wrist and grips the tips of your fingers. He leans forward to push your cup of water towards you and grabs the TV remote, then turns and leans back so your side is pressed into his front. Truthfully, Spencer didn’t seem like the type to watch cable TV but he navigated the menu with somewhat ease. 

“Look at what’s on! It’s your favourite isn’t it, you want me to put it on.” He said as he nudged your shoulder.

He remembered your favourite film, of course he would remember it he has an eidetic memory. You hummed a yes as you relaxed your body further into his, finally content. Maybe Rossi was right, having Spencer close really wasn’t so bad after all.

[sixosix]

wanderer can fly; you cannot. he makes it his problem.

“What? Giving up already?”

“Shut—” heaving, you barely have the energy to flip him off, “shut the fuck up. Fuck off.”

Wanderer chuckles, all low and mean, as if his entire purpose in life is to ridicule you. He continues ascending overhead, moving and looking like an angel, but the words that come out of his mouth are far from angelic. “Careful, now. I know you overestimate yourself, but I won’t save you if you continue to scale a mountain with one hand.”

“Stop agitating me on purpose then!” You nearly slip from the intensity of your yell, but thankfully, it isn’t your time yet.

“How can I? You’re cute when you’re mad.”

Grumbling, you focus back on the mountain. Cute when mad. He must think he’s goddamn adorable, then.

You’re starting to lose sight of dents or protruding surfaces to get a hold of, and the mountain is getting steeper. You curse under your breath. If only you had Geo or Dendro—that’d help a lot much more. Maybe even Anemo, but that would be admitting defeat to the man who’s currently watching you intently.

Wanderer scoffs when your breath hitches, the surface you’re holding onto crumbling. He descends until you’re eye level. “Idiot, I told you that it’d be safer if we didn’t climb this all the way.”

“I know my limit.” Maybe. You may or may not have gotten a little over-competitive and jumped a few times, but that shouldn’t be a problem.

“Not more than I do,” he says.

“Don’t say it like that, weirdo.” You appraise the mountain overhead and, with a sunken stomach, realize that he’s right. There’s still a long way to go, and it’s a long fall back.

“Damn,” you say. You turn to Wanderer and blink up at him with wide eyes, hoping he would take the hint without having to say it outright.

Wanderer sighs, holding out his arms. “Jump.”

“Are you serious?”

“I won’t let you fall—of course I’m fucking serious.”

You grit your teeth, wondering if it’s easier to humiliate yourself and jump into his arms or to let gravity do its work.

“Hey,” Wanderer says, gliding closer and hovering an arm behind your waist. “No stupid ideas. Just jump and hold onto me.”

It’s always unsettling when Wanderer is not acting all bratty, like you’re not quite sure if you should goad him back to being mean or watch him bristle when you point it out. It’s been happening too often recently. That must be saying something about him if his soft moments are scarier than his jabs.

Wordlessly, you reach out for his shoulder with one hand and hold back a yelp when the lack of balance causes you to slip. You hold on tight around his neck, eyes wide and heart jittery. Wanderer secures his arms, moving in one swift motion. Before you even know it, he has one arm on your back and the other under your knees.

“How convenient it must be to have a ride as your companion,” Wanderer mutters in amusement at your relieved face.

“Yeah. That’s why I keep you around,” you say as he glides upward, barely straining from your weight. He looks as unaffected as ever.

He looks as infuriatingly and devastatingly beautiful as ever.

“Ha,” his smile is all sharp, “and not because you have a little crush on me?”

“You follow me around because you do. Don’t get it twisted.”

He snorts, tipping on something a little more genuine. You wisely decide to stop ogling at his face and enjoy the view of the sky instead. The blue of his clothes and the shade of his eyes are much prettier, but you’d rather lose that than start squirming in his arms. Not when he’s carrying you bridal style and all.

Finally, he descends, hardly disturbing the grass with his grace. He sets you down, arms crossed, as you pat yourself off from dirt and stuff.

“Well?”

You eye him warily. “What do you want?”

“Some semblance of manners will do,” he says, then leans close as if he’s baring his face for you. He’s been less and less subtle recently, too.

Nonetheless, you find yourself smiling. The things he’d do just to get a kiss—it nearly makes you laugh out loud. But then he’d start getting all irritated like a cat, and you much prefer when he’s sweet like this. Sweet in his very Wanderer way, you mean.

You kiss him on the cheek. He puffs up like some proud peacock. He calls you adorable all the time, but he’s the one who’s acting like this. It’s no wonder you keep him around.