#and gave time to recover

[evil-jennifer-hamilton-wb]

Being present in both ED and various addiction circles, I see people pretty often using relapse in a way that I think only acts as a self-flagellatory reaction to any mistake. Recovery/sobriety is difficult, and long, and painful, and it's impossible to get better without slipping up at some point. And I'll see people saying they relapsed because of one moment, and watching the momentum that the idea of moral failing that relapse carries be the thing that makes them start drinking or smoking or restricting again. This idea that you need to be perfect to recover is dangerous and harmful. It's not gonna happen. There's a reason why 2% of people fully recover from EDs, [https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.15m10393] (I do think eating disorders are addictive, I guess that's probably debatable, but I think that my arguments here apply to traditional addiction anyway, and by talking about ED's I can bring up citations), it's because treatment centers don't do fuck all [https://doi.org/10.1002/erv.587] but take away access to your ability to feed to disorder, or to use substances, and then you're back in the treatment facility a month later [https://doi.org/10.1186/s40337-017-0145-3] because you slipped up once and everyone's been watching everything you do because they expect you to fail. We need a bit of room for mistakes if we're to get better. The word relapse I think is opposed to that idea, it's rooted in the ideas of addiction being a fundamental moral failing of the individual, rather than a failing of institutions and the moralization of health and substances.

what do u think about people using terms like relapse outside of addiction contexts? like relapsing into dating shitty boys again etc

i don't even use this language or disease model to talk about drug use, lol. charitably i think it most often comes up when people feel powerless over their own behaviours or desires, ie there's a mismatch between what they want and what they think they should want or want to want. tough position to be in & i certainly am not above it myself but i have never found the language of clinical intervention or moral lapse to be helpful, either in resolving this mismatch or in reducing stigma

[pangur-and-grim]

ended up being 11 hours at the emergency clinic. I have a pro strat of biting the inside of my mouth to stop myself from crying, but 11 hours straight of that has left it a bit shredded

[almondcroissantsandink]

they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery :)

(a silly 4-pg comic I've loosely titled Seeing Double, for fun! I know it's only mid-September, but I'm so so so getting into the Halloween mood)

[clowfish]

am I the only one who was stuck watching those eggshell peeling livestreams on tiktok that they NEVER peeled all the way

[navree]

Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.

Kamala 2024!

If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.

But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.

[finnprof]

spy tf2 as lady dimitrescu

dad möther spy

[desultory-novice]

Treasured Treats

@jojo-schmo

[they-didnt-last]

anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??

[bugborgs]

i am once again drawing fanart for @fool-for-luv's bugborg fic!! this moment is from chapter 3, i knew i wanted to take a crack at this moment as soon as i read it :>

[danwhobrowses]

Prefacing that, again time zones, I've only been able to glean the latest CR episode and that I do not agree with their in-character opinions on the gods, I'd like to remind fans to try and not get super ugly about their criticism of Ashton Greymoore.

I'll be the first to throw my hands up and say they're among my favourite C3 characters so there may be bias, but I've been getting flashes of the Shard Incident from reactions towards their recent and vocal disdain for the gods. Disagree with them all you want, Taliesin knows that the gods can't simply leave since they're the one who said that the Wildmother would die if she left, but understand that it's a character flaw and if you recall the hardships of their backstory, the unanswered prayers, and that their only exchanges with the gods have required them to do something or, with the Dawnfather Angel, have been met with cold disregard, it's understandable how they got to feeling that way. Ashton has lived alone and been told they don't matter for a lot of their life; no gods, no family, no nurturing presence to guide them, they've been abandoned, used, and - with additional influence by the Dominox accusing them of wanting FCG to die - are currently between blaming themselves and the Changebringer for their closest friend's death.

Make no mistake Ashton is wrong, I think the self-confessed hypocrite with also self-confessed poor morality knows that deep down, or at least knows that they're not the kind of person who should be in charge. Vassalheim is a difficult place for a titan vessel to be in so it is unsure what they will do from here; perhaps investigate the Earth Titan? Commune with the Emperor and Empress? Or maybe be brought to the gods and be able to vent or reconcile with them (and maybe get some closure with FCG, speak with his spirit as like a mediator between the Hells and the Gods)? But it feels like Taliesin is being vocal for a reason, and it's either to invite Matt to challenge it (I've said in other comments but I would love if Ashton found some comfort, not worship or a pact but maybe just a dialogue, in the Everlight: a goddess of healing, temperance and redemption - all of which would help Ashton mentally - as unlikely as it'd be) or find another maybe primordial route to give Ashton a narrative tether towards stopping Predathos.

Let's just, not be cruel about the character, they are more than just their bad trauma and grief-led opinion on gods remember?

[savoryangel]

mwah mwah kissie sound fx

my sona uses he/him !

[puppyeared]

man

[yangsejongs]

because i can't let things go i'm thinking about the qot finale and it's still frustrating to me. baekhong spent 14 episodes falling apart and getting back together and lost all that progress to her surgery and subsequent amnesia...what was the point of all that relationship development if they were just going to have a blank slate to start over? was the relationship development just for hyunwoo's benefit, since he is the one that kept his memories intact? (and i understand why it is relevant for his character since, at the beginning of the drama, he hated his life and hated being married to haein and changed on those points.) but if haein was going to get this life-saving surgery, survive, and forget everything, why not have this happen in an earlier episode so she and hyunwoo get a chance to rebuild and we get to see them deal with the mistakes of the past as they work towards their chance at rekindling their love? idk

[a-loose-collection-of-ants]

Anyway, new icon

[whoslaurapalmer]

*in tears* frog.......!!!! frog frog frog 🐸

[darlingpassion]

WAIT.

Something just occurred to me that I dont think we've ever talked about. A very terrible one, so- trigger warning for sexual assault (the whole Lottie conception thing).

So Rena fucks black-out-drunk Smartass on a really bad night after a terrible fight with King. She was under the influence of hard drugs, but, still- she was more Aware, then he was. He resembled her husband, and in her fucked-up, drug-addled mind, gravitated towards him. Used him. Left early and got pregnant.

It was a fucked up situation all around but Rena was definitely the instigater and in a bad place head-wise; emotionally erratic and a loose canon.

Well... in the universe where they all know eachother eventually- does Shiny k n o w??? Does Poppy know??? If King found out about Lottie, Rena would definitely tell him the whole story. But I don't think she'd go around telling just anyone (or if she'd even care. Or think about it at all. Getting drunk and fucked up and doing 'fucked up shit' (little baby firefly reference for you to lighten the mood XD ) is an all the time kinda thing for her after all). And I doubt that Smartass would, either. So...

??? What do you think? Maybe King tells them. How do they react? 🤔

(Oh god what of LOTTIE found out. She already doesn't want her mother, now she's about to kick this woman's ass)

This... I knew we had to confront it when we started to ship our OC's together, but I was afraid to 😅😭😅😭

Hooooooooo boy. Ok. Lemme break this down. I've been simmering on this ask for the past couple of days cause I wanna D I S C U S S this-

First off- whether or not Poppy and Shiny know what Rena did.

Hm... I feel like it's kind of yes, kind of no? And Shiny knows more than Pops does. Obviously, they don't know who the mother is, and if Smartass can't remember that night, then he's either blocked the memory out or he was that black out drunk. I don't think the darker side of this would really sink in for Poppy early on because, although she does know creeps exist, she imagines them being more confrontational; she did kind of grow up sheltered, and the only creeps she's encountered in Downtown are those who aren't subtle. So she doesn't think about the consequences of leaving your drink open in a crowded bar, or someone waiting until you're inebriated and not sound of mind to invite you over to their place (i really really really want to write Poppy getting drugged at a bar while hanging out with Greasy or Shiny, and they notice and take care if shit. Kind of like your Jim x Reader drabble). It took her a while to realize that how she and Henry met was also pretty predatory on his part, though.

Remember when I told you I imagine Poppy actually being there the night Lottie was dropped off on their doorstep? I also see her, after getting over the shock of a baby in this mobster house, trying to help Smarty retrace his steps so they can figure out where the baby even came from, "Ok, do you remember where you were nine months ago?" "Who the hell keeps track a'that!?" "Nobody, but in this case, we really need to figure that out-" Whether Smartsss remembers and tells her or not, after thinking it over, I think Poppy would suspect that Smartass was also taken advantage of and is scared and sorry for him. She'll ask him if he's OK and assure him it wasn't his fault, even if he tries to brush it off. As usual, Poppy would go into well-meaning-but-kinda-overbearing mode. She hopes that maybe the mother was also drunk- it's still bad for them both, but it's better than if she soberly saw Smartass in the state he was in and slept with him still. She wouldn't be sure if she should keep Lottie's hope up for her mother in this case since they only know Smartass' side, and will listen if he or Lottie says they aren't interested in the possibility that her mother may come back.

Shiny on the other hand, she's encountered nearly every type of fucker you could think of, especially now that she works in the adult entertainment industry. She's even fallen victim to some of them in the past. It's part of why she's so ready to square up and gouge someone's eye out if they give her the wrong vibe- hell, when she's out with her gals, especially Poppy, she's sniffing out for creeps while having fun. It's just second nature to her at this point. So when she was told about baby Lottie and heard that Smartass had no memory of that night, her alarm bells were already ringing in her head. Even if she annoys Smartass, she does see him as kind of like a little brother... A little brother who's a little asshole and got little man issues, but a little brother all the same (yes, that means she sees Stu as her little brother too. And he's a whole lot nicer than her other adopted brother XD), so she's also got that protective streak in her despite constantly teasing him.

She wants to find the bitch who took advantage of him, and tells him they should go find the mother- not for Lotties sake, but for his. Shiny is headstrong, so it'd take a lot for the guys to convince her to don't bother if Smarty doesn't want to go through all that trouble. Shiny wouldn't approve if Poppy tried to encourage Lottoe to be hopeful about her mother. Even if she wasn't such a monster like Shiny is imagining her to be, she still left her daughter. In Shiny's eyes, that's inexcusable. But maybe this is why Shiny hates Rena so much; she got the vibes from that woman without even finding out she was Lotties mother.

So even though Poppy and Shiny don't know the whole story, they both do end up suspecting and worried for him. Shiny would have no issues against telling Lottie that her mother is a bad person, and Poppy is trying to figure out what to tell Lottie when she asks (honestly they'd probably sit down together and go back and forth, especially if this is after Lottie asked Poppy if shes her mother and Poppy needs advice). If either of them met Rena after this?? And found out what she did???? Hoooooo boy.

Shiny is gonna start swinging, regardless if they've fucked or not. Enough said. Rena is a weapons expert, but Shiny inherited her dad's honey badger crack-head determination. It's anyone's fight at that rate.

Poppy? Ohhhhh ho ho ho, it depends on their relationship. If she just remained uncomfortable around Rena (which would happen in the Pocho, or any weasel ship, timeline. I don't care how alluring Rena turns it up, Poppy ain't cheating on her S/O), then this gives her more incentive to stay away from her. I can see her confronting Rena, even if it has been years at this rate. How could she have gone after a drunken man?! Even if she was having a bad day!? Don't even get me started on Poppy's thoughts about Rena only coming back into Lottie's life when she wants something. The mama bear in her would really rear to the surface if that happened.

If she and Rena started a relationship though??? Oh... Oh hell no. This is so much worse than Rena dropping Poppy for Henry. Poppy also confronts Rena here, but she's so much more angry and disgusted than she was with the topic of Henry. If Rena doesn't show some kind of remose for what she did, Poppy will break up with her... She might break up with Rena anyway- which is pretty big in and of itself because, as I'm sure you've noticed, Poppy has never been the breaker in a relationship. How do you think Rena would respond to that?

Now granted, Rena was also under the influence. But as you said, she was more aware. I think maybe this might make Poppy hesitate? She doesn't indulge in drugs (except that one time Wheezy got her high on weed by accident *cough*) and she prefers to drink on specific times, so she's not so in-tune with how inebriated someone can get and how in control they can be. Shiny, however, she is a hard drinker and smokes (she sticks to Marijuana herself, but she has had a few friends who indulged in more serious drugs. Her slasher self, though, indulges in them greatly), so she does know that there are various levels of sobriety and intoxication. And she's pretty sure Rena wasn't black out drunk like Smartass, especially since she actually remembers that night.

Poppy, conflicted and unsure: Shouldn't we... Aren't we supposed to take her condition that night into consideration, too??

Shiny: that's actually a good point, Pops.

Shiny: *turns to Rena* do you remember what happened that night?

Rena: Yeah-

Shiny: Then kindly go fuck yourself with a sandpaper wrapped cactus that's tipped with E. Coli.

Now as for King... Poppy would have mixed feelings. It's obvious he's not like Rena and doesn't agree with what she does, but why are they still together?? Yes, he loves her, but... *looks at Rena and her cheating hoe-ass* yeah... Meanwhile, Shiny is suspicious of him if he's still with Rena afterall this. What kind of skeletons does he have in his closet?? Other than the obvious. She would try to keep Poppy away from King if this happened in the Kingpop timeline.

As for Lottie. Poppy wants to protect her, so she'll try to stop her from kicking Rena's ass. Yes, she's got training from the navy, but she won't let her little neice get hurt! Let her take care of this, sweetie. You and your father need to get away from this woman. Shiny would jump into the fight first... But she'd let Lottie get her kicks in too. And they can go get a drink at the bar afterwards and either sit in silence or talk about it, whatever Lottie would want.

So, tldr, Poppy and Shiny may not be told all the details, but they would start to suspect on their own. And Riny and Renpop would be nonexistent in this AU.

Fuuuuuuucccckkkk this hurt my heart so bad, especially the part of me that loves the Rena ships despite how dysfunctional they'd be. But we needed this too. What do you think?