#and gained a story that will maybe be extremely funny in like 10 years

[moominvalleysunset]

Jack & Joker episode 10 thoughts on P'Oh's death

I saw a poster who said they were abandoning the show because of their treatment of Trans characters (Their examples: making P'Saran's character Nulek the butt of a joke and killing off P'Jennies character P'Oh quite gruesomely.) And while I completely understand that this is a sensitive topic, especially right now, where Trans rights are being attacked in many if not almost all parts of the world and the result of the US-election does not bode well for a fair and inclusive future (and as you don't know me, let me emphasize: Trans rights are human rights, end of story!), I cannot agree in this instance. Loooong-ass Essay under the cut, be warned!

First of all, Thai culture is a special case as far as gender, gender identity and gender expression goes, both historically and in the progressive movements that are happening both in Thai society and in the entertainment (specifically the BL) industry. You simply cannot judge it solely by Western (or even other Asian) cultural conventions and standards, and by viewing it even more exclusively through an USA-centric perspective you are not doing anyone any favors.

I think that everyone watching Thai BLs regularily at least knows a little about the underlying cultural issues and practices, but for those who would like to learn more, I would recommend reading Dr. Thomas Baudinette's extremely fascinating and well-researched book Boys Love Media in Thailand (https://thomasbaudinette.com/boys-love-media-in-thailand-2022-3/) , where he also touches on the development of presenting trans and genderqueer characters in Thai TV and film (though only up until 2021/22, and the last two years have seen significantly more progress, diversity and inclusivity in Thai media both in front of and just as if not more importantly, behind the camera.) It's a great read, and I'm looking forward to the updated edition coming out next year. Or at least read a Wikipedia article or two about the subject if you haven't already, it's extremely interesting!

Now secondly, I want to take a look at the narrative. First of all, the two trans/genderqueer characters mentioned above are not the only ones in the show. We have Nulek's friend Pharao, Joke's disguise as Jessie (not a girl but a genderqueer person in drag, and emphatically NOT a caricature), Arun as a femme character and not to forget P'Oh's business – and maybe life – partner, a Trans man. Neither of them has been singled out, ridiculed or punished for their not conforming to any hetero- or cisnormative standards in the story (except for Arun by his dad, and nowhere is this presented as anything but reprehensible behaviour by a father). They are normal people struggling with social injustice and mundane problems, like anyone else. Which brings me to the first of the two instances mentioned, Nulek. While I understand that leaving them at a trash heap (I think we all can agree that getting them out of the way was just a plot thing that needed to happen) might raise some hackles, they are not the only one left there. The – very cismale – driver that Joke impersonated was also left at the landfill, so it is maybe not all that symbolic? Especially because Nulek and Arun's other subordinate Pharao get their comeuppance later on when they get their wonderfully petty revenge on their fallen boss. They have gained agency, rightfully enjoy their upper hand and are again not being ridiculed by the narrative.

And now P' Oh, played by the wonderful P'Jennie. I am horribly saddened by her senseless death, angry and frustrated, because it was so preventable and unfair, but her being Trans is not the most important part here IMO. She was trying, she was struggling, she was failing, she was succeeding, she was funny and sassy and beautiful and a smart businesswoman, and she was the only character apart from the mains, Toi Ting and Ama (who were not spared, either), whose death would send a big enough shockwave through the community to finally rattle them into fighting back  (but also leave the mains able to function and not utterly paralyse them in grief). That's why neither Toi Ting's dad nor Tattoo's mom were viable options. P'Oh was respected and liked in her community. Having her die was dark as fuck, but narratively speaking IMO necessary, and she didn't die because she was Trans. She died because she was the only character whose death would have the right amount of repercussions. So I cannot agree with the other poster that killing her was "shitting on Trans women". Really not.

Thirdly, we have to leave the show and look beyond, behind the camera. These people are longtime collaborators and by all accounts great friends and business partners. P'Jennie is a star who has written lakorn and BL history with her roles. There is nothing but love and respect for her from the makers of the show, you can be sure of that. And I would really like to hear her speak about her character and her role here. And Nuleks actor P'Saran and their friend Pharao have been collaborating with War, Yin and their managers since the first En of Love Anthology in 2019/20. YWPBs managers P'Go and P'Aun themselves can be read as femme. YWPBs work environment and the people they choose to collaborate with seem to be progressive, inclusive, diverse and definititely neither cisheteronormative nor tone-deaf to social issues, as we can see in all their works and public presence. Even more so in War and Yin themselves and in what they choose to say, do and stand for publicly. Are they all perfect? No (who is?), but it seems to me that they are trying really hard to do what's right.

So while I of course understand why someone could be triggered, angry and disappointed at what they see as yet another instance of a Trans character being treated unfairly, I would argue that here this anger might be misdirected and this reading neither does justice to the characters, the narrative, the actors and makers of this show nor to the very real issues Trans and genderqueer people still face in Thailand and around the world.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my essay/rant and I would be extremely interested in what you have to say in return!

[uttering-joyous-leaves]

hi nat I would love to hear about your day + any book/tv shows/movie/song recommendations! 🧁🍓🍰(<-vegan snacks i bought to our sleepover)

pelin i can't believe you brought snacks, you are simply the best <3 <3

okay so my media consumption is at an all-time low, but i did rewatch jim jarmusch's night on earth recently and highly recommend that. delightful and weird. also this is mildly ridiculous but i've had andy warhol's kiss (1963) open in a tab on my laptop for the past like week and a half and keep watching it in like 2 minute increments to...make myself insane i guess

anyway now it's the wee hours of the sleepover and conversation is about to get real so...today was another step in the process of being okay again after putting myself in a wretchedly embarrassing situation on saturday night (college kid behavior, i'll let you take an educated guess). today, between bouts of essay writing, i hung out with friends who variously offered advice, helped fill in some of the blanks, and made me feel maybe 30 percent less shitty. then tonight: painstakingly workshopped and sent an apology text. so, you know. onward and upward ig!!

[bluishfrog]

HAPPY 1-YEAR OF DRAWING ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

(Warning: slightly longer post incoming cause sometimes I gotta be a sentimental bitch ok? So let's go on a little trip down memory lane.)

This day, a year ago, I made my very first fanart. It was dnf (if that surprises you, then welcome to being on my blog for the very first time). I drew a little frog face too so I could use it as a watermark (fun fact: I still use that very same first one).

I immediately put my drawing up on twt because I told myself that I wasn't gonna be afraid of having people see that I was at the very beginning of this journey and had no clue what I was doing. That instead of being bad at art, I was gonna be awesome at being a beginner who doesn't know shit.

I started with little doodles and silly comics and then I laughed way too long when the first drawing of mine that gained some attention was a dnf butt joke. At the time I was trying to balance shipping and non-shipping art so I didn't even draw dnf that much but in hindsight it's probably the only possible way this could have gone.

At the very end of August I woke up to @honelle56 caps-locking at me in my messages - I was very confused and tired (I am no morning person and I will never be, fuck off with your mornings) because Dranart liked my drawing of singing Dream. Dranart was my 17th follower on twt which is a useless yet extremely funny fact about my time on that hellsite.

I also drew human!patches because a) patches was and will always be my favorite dteam member and b) it was a really cute trend and while I do love drawing dream, george and sapnap, I was also quite happy to try drawing anything but a white man for once. And I really liked how the drawing turned out.

Much, much later, I tried to draw my first slightly more realistic looking drawing. I was extremely confused on how to draw anything like this. Especially their hair gave me tons of trouble but given my experience, I think it's not a bad attempt.

When hijacked smp started I obviously wanted to participate, and I drew c!blu who doesn't associate with any side in particular but instead serves soup to everyone who visits her tavern 'The Soup House'. She also wants to be paid in stories from all around the map.

One of the events I was most excited about was dnf week. I even collaborated with two talented writers and I drew the corresponding art for two fics.

(Fun or not so fun fact: when twt had like three hundred collaborative aneurysms about the situation at that moment, that was when I created this tumblr account. I didn't use it super actively (I guess I needed another situation to fully make the switch) but I at least started the account that now developed quite a bit since then.)

I didn't really draw at all through January and February and I actually kinda thought I would move on from that hobby and fandom (not because of negative feelings, just because I didn't really have the urge to create anything within this fandom) and then situations happened and now I am here; and for some reason that is beyond any logic and my understanding I am now even more insane about dteam.

Wild to me but we are rolling with it now, I guess.

Since I got here, I drew more than ever (I actually think I might have made more drawings in the month since I got here than I made the whole rest of the year). There's just such an active and funny community here that cares about fan works for the sake of creating and not just because a CC might see it.

Unfortunately, Tumblr won't let me add more than 10 images in one post (maybe fortunately for everyone who has this monstrosity of a post on their dash). So if you want to see all the progress I made since I got here, you can look at everything in my art tag. For now, I will close this post with one of the art works from the past month that I like the most:

Can't wait to see what the next year might bring :)

Love, blu

[ckret2]

3rd times the charm (writing this i lost what i wrote 2 times already) questions/related for/to goldilocks bill 

1 is mabel adhd and or some neurodivergent cuz of hw/grade thoughts/feeling /comments made/referenced and was this me being delusional/implied and will only be implied in the story/foreshadow something or just 

2 can bill hid his cycle long term and who restocks mables pads cuz if its her what does she think of a huge chunk going missing and if not how long and with mable in ca and melody maybe moving out what would he do what are his thoughts on having to ask for menstrual products like asking would be humiliating on a scale of 1 to 10 who would he ask most to least likely what beliefs/knowledge/feeling do the other characters have on periods 

3 would he have any thoughts/preference on different menstrual products like pads/tampons/cups/other items i don't know or it the theme/art the only difference 

4 sorry if this is gross (S&P would never approve) but would bill if he had period blood at the time gone for round 3 of battle of hygiene used the period blood like his stink and the sink incident as bargaining/negotiations chips for something cuz i hate how messy period blood is in my experience and just experience with so many peoiple being so repulsed by it (would he possibly think its funny like blood haha and the blood clots like slipe)

5 why did he get one so soon like his body is 2 weeks old ( i think i'm bad with time(time is and illusion anyway)) but anxiety, depression, sudden weight loss/gain, being under/over weight, extreme exercise, and poor nutrition are some of the relevant things that can make you miss your period and bills got oodles of poor nutrition depression anxiety and maybe (going on only sooses comment so far) sudden weight loss (for me just eating 2 to 1 meals (1 school lunch the other fast food) a day for a long time meant i didn't get a period for like 6 months) but is it the fact it's so new and axolotl set to easy thats he got one (also i don't mean to be rude i have no knowledge of what you do/dont know about periods and stuff)

6 for the kryptos gang Maybe when the accident happens bill rips holes in the dimension of accident and only they are lucky/unlucky enough to fall and get translated though not knowing it was bill and not in bills view/doesn't know/thinks that killed them? And end up stranded in an extremely unknown place worried about the shit going down in the dimension and latter get rumors it was destroyed and they grieve But that way bill is  alone in the aftermath and people spread no survivors present and these shapes are standed  he meets/collects them that way he can promise them something better would them not knowing erase or amplify the guilt or would them know bill did it make more sense sorry if this is bad i know that i don't articulate myself well disclaimer i have not read the book of bill (im :,( broke rn).i have seen some of the website but would this work with cannon and your story i also don't know how the dimension stuff would go would they up or down a dimension maybe the axolotl translated them cuz reason idk or bill accidently did it when the holes ripped open

god that's a lot of text to lose twice I'm so sorry lmao

1. Yes, I write Mabel as ADHD. I don't know if it will ever be directly stated in the fic, primarily because I doubt she's gonna get a diagnosis; but I'm drawing on the experiences of family, friends, & myself to write her.

2. Mabel thinks "hmmm... I used those a lot faster than I expected... but I've been using these less than a year, maybe I just don't have a good sense of how fast I use them yet."

Bill wouldn't consider asking for them any more or less humiliating than having to ask his captors for food access, shower access, or sunlight access. He has no taboos or shame associated with bleeding out of a hole for most of a week, being ashamed of that is a human cultural thing; but he is consistently humiliated by needing to ask his captors to please let him have the basic resources he needs for his stupid body maintenance.

But remember he just got a room with a fridge and permission from Soos to stick whatever he wants on the household grocery list. He doesn't need to specifically ask his captors for period supplies. He can just... put it on the grocery list. Now it's Soos's problem. Maybe Abuelita's, I feel like she might prefer to do the shopping if it's not too strenuous for her yet.

3. Tampons can kill you so Bill thinks humans are pretty dumb to use them. He doesn't much care beyond that. He's used exactly one product.

4. I can't think of a reason he wouldn't but I'm not interested in exploring weaponized hygiene more than I already have.

5. He's been in his body over five weeks. He got the one period he's had so far almost 4 weeks in, giving him a cycle only slightly longer than average. (Even if he HAD gotten one two weeks in—how do you know his body wasn't just created already halfway through a cycle?) He's had a shit month but he started off in good enough health for it not to immediately matter and the shittiest most physically & mentally grueling part of the month (the eclipse + execution) came after he'd bled.

6. begs a lot of questions—"how" "why them" "where were they" "why didn't Bill find out sooner" "why DID he find out". Doesn't feel airtight enough to me. Plus, I already know EXACTLY how Bill's dimension is destroyed, and random rips in the dimension aren't part of it.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Bob's Burgers: The Tina Table: The Tables Have Tina-ed (15x01)

Fun to be back to school with the kids! This was a great episode to open up our fifteenth season.

Cons:

This isn't really a flaw of this episode, but a general note... one of the things I love about Louise is that she's an agent of chaos but she always comes through when it matters. I've noticed a trend recently of her being a little more... responsible, end of the day, than you would expect? It was interesting to me that her role in this episode was to convince Tina to do the right thing, even though the wrong thing was causing so much chaos and making people act so wacky. You'd think maybe Louise would be into that, at least at first? And then maybe have a turn a little later? But she immediately was against all these shenanigans, which I thought was a little odd.

Pros:

I liked the subplot back at the restaurant a lot - basically, Teddy has been having Bob and Linda recount the plots of various horror movies to him, since he hasn't seen any of them. Linda ran out of movies to describe and just starts making up fake plots to movies she hasn't seen. Bob gets involved one day against his will, but then finds that he actually really loves the creative outlet! They get found out when Teddy actually goes to see one of the movies they've been describing. He's barely mad, though - turns out, he thinks their versions of the stories are better than the real thing!

I liked that this was a Bob vs. Linda competitive thing; often the joke is that Bob is a pushover or just has to stand there while Linda is a chaos agent, but here we see them both getting invested and going a bit wild about it.

The main plot features Tina's morning news show segment at school, and some drama with Mr. Frond's new video game diagnosis tool. Tina gets a lot of positive feedback about featuring the game, and when it turns out it's all a fraud, Tina is tempted to keep up the ruse for the sake of the positive attention on the show. I really liked Mr. Frond conspiring with the kids for his own ends, it's always funny to see his supposed scruples fail in the face of potential personal gain. The twist that it was Henry Haber making the game for him in secret was also pretty funny.

This show exists in this kind of timeless zone where these kids have all been the same age for the past fifteen years, but one thing I loved about how this episode played with that specifically is that Mr. Frond's game is like... extremely archaic, 2-bit graphics, the most basic shit imaginable, and the idea of children this age in 2024 being impressed by something like that when they have a bajillion cooler things on their smartphones that most of them probably would own by middle school if not sooner... I don't know. It just made me smile. This show plays fast and loose with the anachronisms and I like that.

Also, it was fun to see Tina getting a clean win in this episode. She's often the sad sack, but this time, she got success on her show, and then even when she chose to do the right thing, she still won in the end, as it's decided that her show will stay on the air! Her bad-ass moment where she tricks Mr. Frond on the air was such a triumph! She even got some extra time with Jimmy Jr. being open and emotional with her, during the chaos of everyone trying to live up to their game-assigned personalities.

That's all for this one!

8.5/10

[ccthewriter]

CC's New Watch Ranking - May 2023

Every month on Letterboxd, I make a list of the 10 best films I’ve seen for the first time. It’s a fun way to compare movies separated in time, genre, and country of origin, and helps me keep track of what I’m watching! This is a breakdown of those films.

May! An honored month in my household as my partner enters her time of astrological power. Taurus would have us laze around in the sun enjoying life’s hedonisms, but I’ve been resisting that call and working like a madperson instead. I got cast in a movie! Only a background role, but it’s been an incredible learning experience. You can watch a ton of films (and reader, I have) but nothing will teach you quite like being there. Being able to watch it all unfold before your very eyes? Fascinating. Besides that, Tears of the Kingdom has been occupying my time. I love throwing that twink off a cliff. He soars just right. The protagonist of one of this month’s films would be delighted to see him fly. 

Click below to read the breakdown! Click HERE to view the list on Letterboxd! 

10. Accattone

 1961 - Pier Paolo Pasolini

I watched many films by Pasolini this month. He’s one of the most interesting figures in Italian cinematic history, an openly gay marxist who stood up for ideals that were on the extreme fringe of the culture he was working in at the time. His career was tragically short-lived, cut short by either political assassination or extortive murder, depending on who you believe. Wild that it was films like this that made him the target of such ire. The story is so basic, so familiar: A horrible man is horrible to those closest to him. They suffer; he suffers; eventually, he is killed as a result of his horrible decision making. That tagline calls this “The poor man’s Dolce Vita?” While shot beautifully and containing some compelling moments, I don’t find this nearly as interesting as the other works in Pasolini’s filmography. It was made for a very specific time, and I think if you’re not plugged into the particulars of Italian class and gender dynamics, this just read as typical criminal melodrama. It is funny that Accatone’s criminal career culminates in an attempted salami heist. He and my cat have a lot in common. 

9. Othello

1951 - Orson Welles

Any adaptation of this text is going to bear a ton of baggage. An adaptation made in the 1950s especially. But my main criticism of this film is that it represents a style of Shakespearean performance that I find dated and boring. It’s so stagey - which is a ludicrous complaint given the nature of the work and the sorts of movies I love. But this is false-stagey, containing people making proclamations and japes, without any human emotion behind the vast majority of their lines. It’s a shame, because this is one of the most beautifully shot Shakespeares I’ve ever seen. They gain so much by shooting in Venice, and using the striking contrast of light and shadow that Welles is famous for. That just barely sustained my interest through an otherwise flat adaptation. Maybe it’s just the bias of the time I’m viewing this in - I prefer a much more psychologically rich take on the Bard’s work, rather than a bunch of people wearing tin crowns and signing towards medieval behaviors. 

I watched this with my cat. She sat in a chair next to mine and seemed engrossed. Add this to the “BirdTV 10+ Hours Nature Noises for Cats” rotation. 

8. Shanghai Express

1932 - Josef von Sternberg

I’ve been reading a ton of Agatha Christie lately. This movie, made around the same time as many of Christie’s best works, evokes so much of the era: the glamor, the manners, the ignorance of how the world will change in a few short years, the omnipresent racial caste system. It’s so amusing to read Christie’s work when you hold the knowledge of how the world is going to change. It’s a similar pleasure watching this movie - these wealthy colonizers are passing through a China that will no longer exist, whose trajectory for the rest of the century is going to be a reaction to their actions and attitudes. How peculiar that the center of this film, then, should be Marlene Dietrich and Anna May Wong, two figures who defy all the trends and assumptions one would make about this era. Their sapphic attachment bubbles under the surface of all their scenes. It motivates a movie that would otherwise be heavy-handed and patronizing. While it has its problems, I’d still recommend this to anyone who wants to see some of old Hollywood’s biggest queer icons working at the height of their power. 

7. Theorem

1968 - Pier Paolo Pasolini

Where Accattone looks at the urban working-class folks who live their lives by petty crime, Teorema is concerned with a more provincial elite. I kept thinking of the wannabe literati that I grew up with - boys who read Freud too young and were convinced that this coked-up Austrian held the secrets to the universe. Boys who would lean in at random points in a discussion to say “Well, this really comes back to Oedipus, doesn’t it?” As with Accattone, I think this is speaking to a specific time and place so succinctly that it won’t work for people outside that bubble. A young man basically wanders into a rich family’s home and sleeps with all of them. Through different situations and personas, he gets to each of their psychosexual cores. The most remarkable scene is the exact middle of the film. In the wake of all these sexual encounters, each family member basically addresses the fourth wall and states what this intimacy will do to them. “I will be forever changed; the shadow of this sex will live in my heart forever.” The rest of the film proceeds exactly as they predict. There are some incredible, surreal images bound up in the action, and I enjoyed watching it, but overall there are too many messy edges and pseudointellectual implications for me to heartily recommend this to everyone. Maybe once I’ve completed this mog I’ll see this film in a new light. 

6. Face/Off

1997 - John Woo

Oh man, this is the polar opposite of the navel-gazing art house nonsense of the Teorema. Simple premise: What if Nic Cage and John Travolta swapped faces? Wouldn’t that be fucked up? A thoroughly enjoyable 90s action flick without much beneath the surface besides satisfying action. (Though, on reflection, this film also has a bit of incestuous implication - Cage-Wearing-Travolta flirts with Travolta’s daughter, and she seems to reciprocate? They drop that plot beat quickly, but it is uh, awkward to say the least.) While this wasn’t quite the exceptional genre entry some people had told me it was, I still had a blast watching two of Hollywood’s weirdest actors get a chance to imitate each other’s energy. They do it perfectly. Really makes you appreciate the way a person can truly transform within a performance 

5. Mamma Roma

1962 - Pier Paolo Pasolini

I’ve preferred Pasolini when he’s plugged into *some* degree of realness. As a director who lived through the neorealist era, and was once a close collaborator with Fellini, I feel like his work really shines when he accentuates a grounded reality with just a touch of dream-logic. This happens brilliantly within this film. A middle-aged woman has earned enough through sex work to purchase a fruit stand, and uses this entry into “respectable” life as an excuse to reconnect with her estranged son. But she finds it difficult to shake off all the ghosts of her past. She cannot just snap her fingers and have the life she dreamed of decades ago when she gave her son away. He has grown into his own person, and struggles under the weight of her dream as he tries to pursue his own. It’s a wonderful, messy tangle of competing desires, fantasies, and realities. The extreme highlight of this is two separate oners that take place late at night, during her time as a sex worker. Wandering through these pitch-black streets with only strong, skinny street lights to illuminate the scene, Pasolini follows Anna Magnani with a handicam type-setup, following her as she has a continuous monologue with several passersby. It’s a brilliant shot by Tonino Delli Colli who would later go on to shoot The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. The dreamlike, anchorless way she walks through this void reflects how disconnected she is from her own life. She does sex work, but does her best to forget it - she holds some standard for herself that is based in a society that despises her, yet loves and adores her at the same time. The happy way she trades jokes between johns and other sex workers, while stumbling through this featureless space… it’s just incredible. Pasolini really did see the tangled web of his society and captured it like no other. It really reflects this social mobility and economic boom after the devastation of World War 2. An entire nation desperate to forget its past, yet unable to do so. Desperate to forge a new middle class while sneering at those who would comprise it. 

4. Seven Chances

1925 - Buster Keaton

My beloved Blank Check has been covering the films of Buster Keaton, and I’ve been watching along. Buster is one of the geniuses of this medium, whose films remain timeless because of his relentless precision and thoughtful craft. This is one of his best films. Through silly circumstances, a young man learns he has to get married in less than 24 hours in order to inherit a large fortune. There are seven women with whom he could have a chance, and he messes it up with them all. Honestly, the title-to-premise connection is a bit weak, as he made many changes to the source material this film is based on. There’s a lot more rockslides than that plot description would have you believe. Even after nearly a hundred years, this succeeds in getting a real laugh out of me. There are too many jokes packed into each little moment for me to really isolate. It’s just perfect slapstick, perfect physical comedy the whole way through. Put your phone down and drink it in. 

3. Europa ’51

1952 - Roberto Rossellini

A devastating film about a woman who changes in the wake of her young child’s suicide. My review on Letterboxd:

“Honestly this is too rich in psychologies, philosophies, and ironies for me to fully understand in one viewing. But I *loved* the transformation Bergman depicts over the course of the film. An incredible performance - going toe-to-toe with Giulietta Masina in one of her best cameos, too! I think this is something I'll be revisiting for years to come.

I write this in the wake of Jordan Neely's murder. It is incredible how mental illness is defined by what causes the slightest annoyance to those in power. We - and by 'we' I mean a specific class that operates our above ability to consent - lock up or kill the people most in need of understanding. Those who really just need positive human connection.”

This film creates an interesting parallel with Mamma Roma. Spoilers ahead: Mamma Roma also has a young boy who kills himself, but indirectly, dying of illness in a prison cell. He’s in prison because he was lashing out, just like the kid in this film was desperately crying for attention. His death was merely more direct, more immediate. These films form an interesting dialogue of similar subject matter, only really changed by the social classes of their protagonists. Mamma Roma longs for the status that Bergman starts with in Europe ‘51. Bergman ends up as shunned as Mamma Roma is at the start of her film. Fascinating examples of the cyclical ways women are demonized, no matter where they begin. 

2. Out of Sight

1998 - Steven Soderbergh

What a fun film!!! Soderbergh is one of the best directors working right now, and my, does he work. I can’t think of anyone else who makes movies at the rate he does, and who is involved in so many different projects and genres. His films have wonderful movement and great characters. He’s a natural fit for Elmore Leonard’s writing. Leonard is a mystery to me - I’ve been watching a lot of films based on his stories with some friends, and on paper, they are all very generic tales with boilerplate characters. A female FBI agent who can “keep up with the boys.” A smooth talking criminal with a violent impulse. A charming thief. You’ve probably seen these characters in a million different works and can’t remember a single one of them - yet somehow, Leonard finds the situations and plot beats to make characters like Karen Sisco soar. Sisco is hunting Jack Foley, played by George Clooney in one of his steamiest appearances. He kidnaps her right before she can catch him, and they are forced to have a long conversation together while locked in the trunk of the getaway car. This starts an attraction that supports the rest of the film, filled with many twists and turns as one tries to reunite with the other - to fuck? To kill? To rope into the robbery? It will keep you guessing until the very end. I really love crime thrillers, and it’s no surprise that the director of Ocean’s Eleven is able to work with these incredible characters and craft some amazing scenes. Come for the romance, stay for the heist. Or come for the heist and stay for the romance. Just see it! It’s great! 

1. The Wind Rises

2013 - Hayao Miyazaki

I had been holding off watching this for a long, long time. It can be hard to watch a film that you know will devastate you. When I heard Miyazaki had made a film about the act of creation and its futility, how even the best minds with the highest aspirations can lead to terrible destruction… oof. I was afraid of the mirror this film could turn out to be. Its tagline is “We must live” - how devastating is that? My mind goes to the final scene of Uncle Vanya.  

The film soared even higher than I could have imagined. Yes, it made me cry, but it also left me feeling more hopeful about the world than I could have hoped for. It follows the life of Jiro Horikoshi, an airplane engineer who lived during the early 20th century and designed some of Imperial Japan’s fighter planes. The film flows seamlessly between his life and his dreams. It’s the perfect subject matter for Miyazaki. You can feel aspects of Miyazaki’s own life bleeding in at the edges - his quest for perfection, his relentless work ethic, the literal machinery that occupies his dreams. An early scene has Jiro speaking to one of his idols in a dream, literally having a sort of psychic communication as they trade notes on plane design. It’s immaculate. Anyone who is a creator has likely had similar conversations playing through their head, dreaming of what their heroes would say if they could read their work. I know I have. As our world faces disaster after disaster, as conflict becomes bloodier and the pursuit of art seems more pointless than ever, works like this reignite my will to keep going. We make the world a little better every time we use our imagination. When we dream, we can envision things as they should be, as they could be, not as they are. It lets us see all the wonderful possibilities that are out there. And if dreams just aren’t enough, remember, there is always love. Fragile, precious, everlasting love, which is immortal even when the people who share it die. This is what makes the wind rise. It’s what gives me hope for the future. 

Reader, if you take anything away from this fleeting blog post, let it be the power of dreams and love. They are the best tools we have for fighting evil. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you liked any of these thoughts feel free to follow me on Letterboxd, where I post reviews and keep meticulous track of every movie I watch. Look forward to more posts like these next month! 

[ilovefandoms102]

The Worst Vacation

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend surprises you on your vacation with your work friends...

Note: Inspired by my trip to AZ which was terrible so this is kind of based off real events that happened to me but dramatized for the story, and of course inserting my baby daddy Drew😛.

Click here to be apart of my taglist

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Life works in funny ways…

I never expected to find the love of my life a little over a year ago. Drew came unexpectedly into my life and we instantly had a connection. I know, I know...sounds extremely cliche, but it’s the truth.

Although our relationship was mostly long distance, we made it work. Sure it was really hard sometimes not having him around, but once I graduated from college we planned on moving in together. It might seem a bit fast since we have only been together a year, but I’m ready and I know Drew’s the one I want to spend forever with.

=====================================

I go on vacation with a girl I work with every year, Sally, since I started working with her two years ago. This year, we chose to go to Arizona. I was super excited because we had also planned on going to Las Vegas and Los Angeles.

Drew was extremely supportive and was happy that I was getting the opportunity to travel. I was hesitant with wanting to go at first because I had wanted to save up enough money to visit Drew while he was filming.

However, we both agreed his schedule was too hectic at the time and that we wouldn’t be able to properly spend time with each other. We were both disappointed, but still I was excited to go with my friend.

Or so I thought…

The trip was slowly turning into a disaster, everything that could have gone wrong did. My friend had brought along her niece, Caroline, which I didn’t mind despite not knowing her very well. It felt like the trip was mainly focused on them and I was just there to be the chauffeur.

I called Drew the first three nights of my stay crying because they were so awful to me. Drew being the sweet man he is offered to pay for a flight home, but I declined. I already had spent too much money to not finish out the trip.

“But sweetheart, if you’re not having a good time there’s no point in being there.” Drew pressed, his handsome face lighting up my phone screen.

“I know honey, but I’ve already spent a thousand dollars for this trip. I can’t just come home and leave them here.” I sighed, snuggling further into what would be my bed for another 10 dreadful days.

“I’ll give you the money back angel, I just don’t want you to be miserable when this is supposed to be a relaxing trip.” Drew insisted.

“I’m not taking your money Drew you spoil me enough.” I smiled, wishing more than anything he was lying here with me so I could kiss his cute face.

“I always want to spoil you baby, you mean the world to me.” he professed, grinning widely afterwards.

“I miss you so much,” I whispered, my heart aching to feel his strong arms around me.

“I miss you more,” he whispered back, pouting his lips slightly.

We talked until one of us fell asleep only to call back the next morning. My friends even had the nerve to comment on how much I talked to him.

“It’s a little obsessive...I mean you guys have been together for what a year?” Sally condescended, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Yeah? So what?” I questioned, the annoyance clear in my tone.

“I’m just saying it’s weird.” she scoffed, crossing her arms behind her head as we laid out in the sun by our pool.

“It’s weird for me to talk to my boyfriend?” I asked, making sure I was extra sarcastic.

“Every second of the day...yeah.” she chuckled, making my blood boil even higher.

I chose to be the bigger person however, and just kept to myself.

=====================================

The 5th day of my vacation, I hadn’t heard from Drew the whole day. It worried me, but I was also thinking about what Sally said. Maybe I was being clingy…

A knock on the door startled me from my thoughts. I thought maybe one of the girls had ordered food or something, so I opened the door and my mouth dropped open.

“Hi baby,” Drew greeted, my eyes watering from pure joy.

“Drew! What are you doing here?!” I asked excitedly, throwing myself in his arms.

“I came to see my baby,” he mumbled into my cheek, placing a gentle kiss on the red skin from being in the sun.

“Are you actually fucking kidding me?!” Sally exclaimed from behind us.

“Well nice to meet you too.” Drew mumbled sarcastically while letting go of me but not completely.

“Chill Sally, he’s just here a few days.” I huffed, rolling my eyes as I turned to face her.

“This is supposed to be OUR vacation!” She reiterated, throwing her arms out.

“It still is our vacation,” I emphasized.

“Not when you’ll be all over your boyfriend!” she shouted.

“I barely get to see him as it is Sal, you know that.” I said softly, trying to gain an empathy pass so she would just leave me alone.

“Whatever,” she sighed, clearly irritated as she stomped off.

I paid her no mind since she threw fits all the time like this. I pulled Drew to the room I was staying in, slamming the door shut. Drew threw his stuff by mine, then smirked at me and tackled me on the bed. I let out a little squeal, beaming up at the handsome man that I got to call mine.

“I’m so happy now,” I confessed, biting down on my lip to try and keep my tears in.

“Me too my love,” Drew whispered, sealing our lips for the first real kiss we had shared in a long time.

=====================================

Today was the day we were taking a drive to Las Vegas, which I was very very excited for. It was a nice change to wake up to soft kisses instead of Sally barging in here and demanding I wake up.

“Good morning beautiful,” Drew murmured in his deep morning voice, his kisses continuing their loving assault.

“This is a very nice wake up,” I giggled, snuggling further into him.

Drew hummed in agreement against the skin of my neck, his slight stubble tickling the delicate area. His large hands felt up the curve of my hips, taking my(his) shirt with them.

Drew had always claimed since we started dating that he was obsessed with the wide curves that I hated more than anything. He even said he loved how thick my thighs were, which I never thought in a million years I’d hear come from a man’s mouth.

“I love you, my girl. ” he whispered, my heart fluttering in my chest.

“I love you, my man.” I whispered back.

Our moment was rudely interrupted when Sally banged on the door saying we needed to hurry up. I couldn’t control my eyes from rolling in annoyance as Drew and I untangled from each other. We got ready quickly before making our way to the car to start the four hour trip.

=====================================

The drive was smooth sailing, Drew and I taking turns driving while Sally pouted about having to sit in the back. My hand clenched Drew’s tightly at her sly comments. Luckily, Drew wasn’t having it with her since he knew I wouldn't say anything.

“So this is the guy you’ve been obsessing over for the past year?” she asked snootily, knowing it would irritate me.

“I think it’s more like I’m obsessed with her.” Drew spoke up, squeezing my hand before smiling at me.

“Really? She never shuts up about you.” Sally retorted, raising a challenging brow at him.

“Well, I’m glad because I’m the same way with my friends, they love her.” Drew chuckled, but I could tell he was just as irritated as I was.

We stopped to get gas thankfully or otherwise I would have exploded. I stomped inside to the restrooms, slamming the stall door shut.

I got in the drivers side after I came out, Drew waiting by the door to open it for me. I smiled small at him, getting on my tipey toes to kiss him quickly before getting in.

We finally had made it, but things were not looking good. I had accidentally ended up in the old part of Vegas instead of the main strip, and Sally blew up on me.

“How can you be so fucking stupid is it really that hard to type shit in on a map?!” she screeched.

“It’s not that big of a deal, we're not far,” Caroline commented, annoyed with her aunt's attitude.

“God this is a fucking disaster I don’t even want to be here anymore!” she shouted, my hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Drew sat in silence, not sure what to do to diffuse the tension.

“God will you just shut up! I don’t know where every fucking place is in the world! This is my first time here just as it is yours, now just shut the hell up and let me concentrate!” I finally snapped, angrily typing on my phone to figure out where we needed to be.

I found where Caesar’s Palace was located, and they just so happened to have free parking as well. I slammed the gas and took us there. Drew and I got out of the car, but Sally and Caroline didn’t budge.

A few minutes later, Caroline storms out of the car slamming the door as hard as she could. She rushed past Drew and I, heading towards the exit.

“I’m sorry y/n, I hate that she treats you like that.” Caroline spoke up once we exited the parking garage.

“I’m used to it, she talks to me like that at work too.” I confessed, Drew whipping his head towards me.

“Y-You never told me that…” he murmured, looking down at me with an almost hurt expression.

I shook my head at him, signaling now was not the time.

=====================================

Sally threw her tantrum, then met us in the Bellagio. We sort of made up, but I did it merely so the rest of the day wasn’t awkward. Drew was quiet, probably still a bit upset with me.

We toured the hotel, the decorative flowers and artistry truly breathtaking. We ended up in front of Hell’s Kitchen where we would be eating later tonight. Drew and I took some pictures together to post on our stories while Sally and Caroline walked towards Caesar’s Palace.

“I wish you’d let me say something,” Drew blurted, sitting on one of the steps with me standing between his legs.

“No Drew, it will just make things worse.” I sighed, leaning into him.

“She’s so mean to you my love, I don’t like it.” he stated, his arms coming around me.

“I’ll be ok baby,” I mumbled, playing with his hair while smiling down at him.

“How about...you and I sneak away.” Drew suggested, tapping his fingers on my hips.

“Then they’d really be pissed,” I chuckled.

“We can just say we got lost.” he shrugged.

“Why do I feel like you’re up to something Starkey?” I questioned, raising my brow at him.

“I may or may not have booked us a room for today.” he grinned slyly, suddenly pulling me tight against him.

“To cuddle?” I teased, smirking as I ran my hands up his chest to the hairs at the back of his neck.

“Well yes...but also to fuck.” Drew said bluntly, smiling as I gasped at him.

“Joseph Starkey!” I exclaimed, giggling as my cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

“Baby come on it’s been sooooo long, my balls are aching.” he whined, cupping his hand over his manhood.

“Awwww are they? My poor baby boy.” I pouted, rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs.

He nodded, his lips pouting out as well. I couldn’t help the smile widening on my face, his cute pout making my insides melt.

“Let’s go then Drewbear,” I giggled, pulling his arms to stand up.

=====================================

We quickly checked in, rushing up to the room. I didn’t have time to appreciate the beauty of the room, Drew immediately spinning me around and lifting me into his arms. Drew laid us down on the bed, my phone rang out, no doubt one of the girls calling.

“Drew, I-I should get that.” I panted, his kisses moving down my neck. I felt his hand snake down my body, reaching into my pocket to take out my phone.

“They’ll be fine without us,” Drew smirked, lifting up and silencing my phone.

“Drew I should at least text the-” I started, but stopped talking when Drew took his shirt off.

“Sorry baby, were you saying something?” he asked rhetorically, smirking at my staring eyes. I shook my head, my eyes traveling down his toned form.

Drew stared down at me, his gaze sending chills down my spine. His hands traveled from my knees, down my thighs, up until they reached the bottom of my shirt. His eyes flickered to mine, and I nodded my head. Drew’s hands went under my shirt, my breath hitching in my throat.

I lifted my hands, sitting up a little so Drew could take my shirt off. He tossed it to the ground with his, while he did that, I unhooked my bra and threw it in the same direction before laying back down. Drew’s hands ventured towards my breasts as his lips explored the skin of my collarbones, lightly nipping at the area. I couldn’t contain the moan that escaped when Drew lightly rolled my nipples between his fingers,

“Fuck,” I whispered, my nails lightly digging into his scalp as I tugged on his hair.

Drew wasted no time in getting to where he really wants. He shoved off both our pants and underwear, situating me just how he likes before he buried his face in me. His tongue worked wonders, licking and sucking on each spot that made me tick.

“Oh my, baby please don’t stop.” I begged, my back arching slightly off the bed as my legs started enclosing towards his head. Drew lifted his head momentarily to stick two of his fingers in gently, my eyes rolled to the back of my head.

“My girl has such a pretty pussy.” he commented, his breath ghosting over where his tongue had just been.

I moaned loudly at his praise, gripping the sheets between my fingers as I felt my orgasm just in reach. Drew smiled as his mouth went back to work, his fingers increasing their pace as well. I could feel the band about to snap, my legs shaking the closer I got. With just the slight curl of his fingers, the flick of his tongue, and I was done for.

“I’m-” I gasped, not finishing my sentence as my orgasm hit me like a freight train.

“Mmmmm fuck yes baby,” Drew groaned, working me through it as he watched the cum drip from his fingers and onto the bed sheets.

Drew took his fingers from me, sliding them in his mouth to suck them clean. My stomach fluttered watching him, it was the hottest thing I had ever seen him do. He then grabbed my hips and flipped us over so I was on top, my head spinning a bit from the quickness of his movements.

“My turn princess,” Drew smiled, kissing my lips hotly before lying back down.

I smirked down at him, kissing my way down his body. I got to his vline, leaving my mark down it until I got to his dick. I licked from his balls to the tip, squealing lightly when his hand was suddenly in my hair. His chest was moving at a rapid pace, his eyes burning into mine as I took him in my mouth.

“I missed your mouth so much my love, fuck it’s so good.” he moaned, throwing his head back.

I moved my head up and down, using my hands to meet my mouth with what I couldn’t fit in my mouth. His grip on my hair tightened, pushing my head slightly. I gagged once I got to the base, taking a deep breath as my eyes watered.

“I’m gonna cum,” Drew panted, thrusting his hips into my mouth as I sucked harder. I pulled all the way up, sucking on his tip and flicking my tongue as fast as I could. He moaned as he came, spurting his seed into my mouth.

“Let me see, did you swallow it all my good girl?” Drew asked, pulling my hair so my mouth was removed from him.

“Mhm,” I hummed as I showed him my tongue that was clean.

Drew smiled at me, moving his hold to either side of my face and smashing my mouth to his. I held his wrists, moaning softly into his mouth as I shuffled closer.

“Come on beautiful, I want to see you on top.” Drew whispered, helping me straddle his waist and inserting himself inside me.

“Oh my god, Drew.” I groaned, digging my nails into his shoulders.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good.” Drew grinned, helping me move on top of him.

I rolled my hips into his, the tip of his cock hitting my gspot which had me a moaning mess. Drew slid a hand down so his thumb rubbed against my clit, a high pitched whine flying from my lips as I moved faster.

“I could live in your pussy,” Drew moaned, his thumb pressing harder.

“Drew,” I pleaded, throwing my head back before coming back to stare into his beautiful blue eyes.

“Would you like that baby? To sit on my cock all day?” he growled, thrusting his hips upwards to meet mine as I came down.

“Yes, I would love it.” I whimpered.

“I can feel how close you are my love, cum with me.” he demanded, but I was already there before he finished his sentence.

“F-uck baby,” I squeaked, my body going to cloud nine as I shook on top of him.

Drew came seconds later, burying himself inside of me. I laid my head on his shoulder, ran out of energy to keep myself upwards.Drew held me to him, laying back on the bed as we calmed down.

“Ok?” he asked.

“Amazing,” I answered.

=====================================

After we met up with Sally and Caroline, explaining how ‘lost’ we were, we ate dinner at Hell’s Kitchen. It was amazing, but definitely not worth the price. We walked around a few more shops in Caesar’s Palace, actually getting lost and taking a while to find the way out.

Once we did, we came across a group of men walking by…

“Damn she thicc,” one commented.

“Ooooh she got a nice one, hello!” another yelled.

Drew turned around to say something, but I yanked his hand to keep walking.

“Do not,” I hissed.

Drew instead to make it clear I was taken, placed his hand directly on my ass.

“Drew! We’re in public!” I whisper yelled, but he made no move to remove his hand.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he shrugged.

“Hey baby! Why don’t you leave your pretty boy to be with a man for a night!” someone else called, Drew’s eyes narrowing.

I was suddenly airborne, Drew bending down and lifting me into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist, surprised to say the least.

“Drew! Put me down!” I yelped, holding on to his shoulders.

“Apparently, these boys need to know you’re taken.” Drew snapped, tightening his grip on me.

“Seriously babe, you’re gonna hurt your back.” I mumbled.

“Didn’t you say your feet were hurting babydoll?” he questioned.

“Yes, but Drew-” I started.

“You’re light as a feather my love, I could carry you all day.” he spoke softly, kissing my nose before coming to a stop in front of the water show between Caesar’s Palace and the Bellagio. He sat me on the railing, standing between my legs with his hands placed on my hips. I kissed his cheek, smiling at how sweet and protective this man of mine was.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you baby,” he whispered back, sealing the deal with a soft kiss as the water show ended.

=====================================

Taglist:

@themaddies-obx @jeyramarie @mxltifandoms06 @bibliophilewednesday @evaporatedrosepetals @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @haley-talks-too-much @dpaccione @itsyagirljay @abbyj1822 @gviosca @runway-to-my-aid @obx-direction-sos @iamaunicorn4704 @cheshirecat107 @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @holy-spn @starrystarkey93 @poguestyleskye @x-lulu @deionswannabegirl @heresalltheshit @lynlovesouterbanks @lemur46 @nina1800 @ilovejjmaybank @noneofmybusiness-cl @artfork @bolaurel @ifilwtmfc @kaitieskidmore1 @outerbongs

[honey-milk-depresso]

Xing (Genshin OC)

Just makin’ a quick bio-

“It’s about time you go away, pal.”

Name: Xing 

Gender: Male

Age: 47 (Yeah, he’s old-)

Birthday: 14 November

Originated from: Fontaine (previously), but was born in Liyue first before moving to Fontaine

Currently living in: Liyue (yeah he went back after so long- sort of-)

Eye color: Yellow (didn’t show lmao-)

Hair color: Silver (again didn’t show-)

Relatives: 

Lyric (biological cryo user niece, who’s also an autistic genius, used to be from Fontaine) 

Thelonious (adopted geo user son who was abandoned in Mondstadt) 

Mana (adopted electro user daughter who’s wild as heck and abandoned outside of Inazuma)

Ana (adopted hydro user daughter who was abandoned in Liyue. The youngest and most precious obviously-)

Unnamed twin sister (Mother of Lyric) (deceased)

Occupation: Entrepreneur, CEO of Liyue’s Casino Slumps (it’s hidden though but classy-), Businessman

Affiliation: Jin Chi Casino, The Fatui (in good terms)

Vision: Electro

Weapon: Catalyst

Constellation: Kong Que

Status in-game: Not playable

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Personality: The old man himself is quite secretive of his own past, an enigmatic man from Fontaine who travelled to Liyue to reside there. Although he has successfully run a legal casino, much to some of the members of the Qixing’s disappointment, he has never done anything crude and unjust before... sort of. 

At least, nothing to do with money, he still plays fairly in the market. For years, people have respected and fear him, for his wealth, power and how intimidating he imposes to the public, a seemingly cynical businessman. 

On the contrary, Xing is actually a soft hearted person. Though he doesn’t show it to most people to keep up his public image, Xing cares for his children, biological or adopted, he sees them all as his family, sometimes though, he covers it up.

Despite his extreme wealth, Xing is surprisingly modest, and also a vegetarian. He seems to like the dish of Hand torn cabbage (Shou si yuan bai cai; a dish where you tear the cabbage and fry with some seasoning. I like it lolol-) in particular.

Xing is an intelligent old man, and recalls a lot of things and picks up on even the smallest details, showing that he’s very attentive. Straightforward and blunt, he’s very a very honest person and will not hesitate to say out loud what’s in his mind when he wants to. A little sarcastic though, especially with some of his humor, even dry humor-

Xing despite being a cold and harsh person at first sight, respects the traveler and trusts them. He also likes collecting things like gemstones and somehow envelope designs from around Teyvat. 

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What other characters think of Xing

Zhongli: He has mix feelings towards him. While he does not like the fact he’s running a casino in Liyue, he respects his care towards the children he has adopted, and respects he still abide to the laws of Liyue. All in all, he’s okay with him.

Ningguang: Same reason with Zhongli, but she also likes the tea and conversations he makes. He has quite the humor.

Ganyu: A little skeptical towards him, but very much respects he has a heart for his children and that he hasn’t done something troubling with the Qixing, except maybe his casino, but nothing illegal.

Keqing: Pretty much hates him for running a casino. She is relieved that Xing has never carried out illegal business in Liyue, she feels he’s ruining the image and “creed” Liyue upholds.

Xiao: He doesn’t really care much, but he respects him for caring for his own children.

Yanfei: She finds his business skeptical, but still respects that he abides to the rules of Liyue, so he’s fine in Yanfei’s books.

Childe: He’s alright with him. He just thinks Xing’s a cool, hip old man. He’s good in his books, especially how he cares for his children. He respects that.

Scaramouche: The fatui respects him, and he shall too. He’s never really interacted with Xing too much, but he likes the conversations he brings up and respects his intelligence and straightforward attitude, though sometimes if it’s to insult him it’s irritating.

Signora: Respects Xing. His humor is quite funny, and he is very knowledgeable and straightforward with no funny business whatsoever. She respects that.

Lyric: His biological niece. While she doesn’t like him occasionally smoking sometimes, she is very fond of Uncle Xing, and know he’s a good person at heart.

Mana: She loves him as a father figure. She looks up to him, sometimes trying to learn how to be a catalyst herself, seen while combining her scythe polearm with catalyst based moved as inspiration from Xing. She thinks he’s awesome.

Thelonious: Nious, like Mana, also looks up to his uncle. While he doesn’t really like he’s running a casino, something Xing has been trying his best to hide, he thinks his uncle sharing his vast knowledge, and sharing stories of Teyvat is something he really enjoys.

Ana: Ana is the precious jewel of Xing, well, everyone is but Ana’s the youngest. She feels most safe with Xing, and he loves it when he shows her all the gemstones he collects and Xing telling stories to her and Nious.

=============================================================

**Even if he’s unplayable, you can use him temporarily during the events of any of his children’s Story Quests.

Normal Attack: Gold Lightning

Performs up to 6 Electro Attacks, dealing Electro DMG (Normal Attack)

Consumes a certain amount of stamina to deal Electro DMG after a short casting time (Charge Attack)

Gathering Electro energy, Xing uses electro powers to plunge towards the ground, decimating all enemies in his way. His attack can trigger other objects as well, such as rocks (geo) and water (hydro), dealing with AoE Electro DMG with either/both Geo DMG or/and Hydro DMG depending on the field. (Plunge Attack; Old man can’t plunge himself like he used to :,)) )

Elemental Skill: Feathers from the Storm

Creates a mist from three peacock feathers swirling around him from his command in an AoE, dealing with AoE Electro DMG. Every four seconds, within 20 seconds, 1) Deals with Electro DMG with opponents, 2) Regenerates HP of character within the field, 3) Dealt as a shield with DMG Absorption.

Press: Fires off 5 Feathers.

Hold: Fires off 10 feathers, plus the ones used for Regenerating, but shield remains, gaining a 75% DMG Absorption Bonus.

Elemental Burst: Bolt of the Peacock

Summons a peacock illusion made with Electro Energy, before it fires away its feathers turning into lightning bolts, launching surrounding opponents.

A big peacock feather would continue emitting lightning towards opponents with Electro DMG for so long as it persists.

[ganymedesclock]

do you have any thoughts on mentor archetypes in general? i looked it up and most of the analysis was about how they invariably die...

I have a lot of thoughts on mentor archetypes, particularly considering it is arguably my job to be a mentor (I am an early childhood educator)

I really love mentoring as a character trait, but I can really hate some of the ways that it applies. There are two problems I think that tend to consume mentor characters (and I’ll add a bonus thought to make three), though they aren’t exclusive nor exhaustive:

mentorhood as a get out of jail free card

mentorhood as the only important thing old people can do

mentorhood as an isolated special incident

1. Mentorhood as a get out of jail free card

I get it. The introduction of Yoda as a character was influential to many people’s childhoods mine included. We love our hard knocks montage. But the fact of the matter is, both educationally and morally speaking, there’s like. a lot of reasons you should not be a dick to someone you’re teaching, and why if a character is being a dick to a student, in particular a student who is younger and needier than them, this should be a character flaw.

(A GREAT example of this wielded effectively as a character flaw: look at Shifu in Kung Fu Panda! Half of the first movie is examining that Shifu’s tough love schtick not only created Tai Lung as a villain by his own admission, but hurt Tigress personally, and Po who was already pretty willing to give up on himself, gave up more until Shifu had a realization and got his ass in gear; and it is made clear in the later movies that it’s because he was grappling with a lot of emotional issues)

Basically it shouldn’t be a joke that the mentor is strict, or harsh, or cruel. Especially don’t make jokes about corporal punishment, which we have better and better science pointing to that it is abusive and fails to teach. 

And part of this is tricky, because a lot of the mentor tropes we’re fed are abusive or flawed mentors, and if you exclusively load the cannon with that sort of material, that’s what’s gong to come out of you unprompted. It’s important to think carefully about what’s actually being taught and being learned. And there should be, bluntly spoken, a reason why these people like their mentors, and if they don’t, that will hurt their progress. There’s no niche so precious that you just HAVE to put up with them. If a mentor is the legendary best in the land, but a terrible person to put up with, it’s not inconceivable that the protagonist is gonna pack their stuff and go talk to the second best in the land who isn’t such a pill. And if the hero stays, then, it’s become an enduring character trait that they will tolerate maltreatment in the interest of a higher goal and that’s not necessarily a good thing.

2. Mentorhood as the only important thing old people can do

This is simply an elaboration on my previous post which I presume inspired anon’s question, but your setting doesn’t simply have a handful of old masters who were young and skilled some long time ago but are now old and beyond doing anything important- or, if it does, there’s a story there. For example, in one of my personal projects, Bevy, there are very few veterans in a particular organization because the organization is fairly recent and because it had an extremely high mortality rate at first- so the few elders that are there, all know each other, and tend highly skilled and highly respected. They’re the survivors of a bleak time. 

And even then, that’s going to be a mixed bag. The elderly grandmother-type who is one of the major characters contrasts against a fashionably middle-aged former knight who keeps the main bastion of the organization safe and running smoothly.

Basically, it’s important to consider that old people are simply just people who’ve been people for a long time. They are still doing everything that younger people get up to. Not every old person is weak or infirm. Not every old person who does have disabilities gained them because of age. Not every old person is entrenched in all their skills and passions because they’ve been doing them for years- people pick up new things all the time, and that’s a by-product of being alive, not of being young.

Old people are allowed to still give a shit about their own life and progress- rather than simply lying back and abdicating to the young on the idea they already have one foot in a grave. This is especially harsh in series where the mean age is low- it might seem funny to joke about how the one 25-year-old in a cast of 10-year-olds is old, but the frank and brutal reality is that if a thirty year old is acting like they’re retirement age something’s brutally wrong here. 

Basically, treat elders in your stories like they’re full people. Any society or organization that’s been around will have old people! This is a thing about worldbuilding that I find highly incredulous sometimes- almost no populations will exclusively be 18-30 year olds. Anywhere people have been for a while, there’ll be old people, and anywhere people intend to stay will have at least a few kids. 

And “old” is not a personality trait- the old people won’t all be limited to wise elders or lonely twilight wanderers or indulgent grandparents and even if they have those qualities they sure as hell won’t be a vacuum. Maybe the lively, playful shopkeep that the detective gets some important intel from is pushing seventy. 

3. Mentorhood as an isolated special incident

Teaching should really not be a matter of training montages. The fact of the matter is, and this ties strongly into the above- in any context, at any time, people will have an uneven level of experience. We are a highly social species. We are wired to take advantage of the fact that we’re usually in groups, and even when not in groups, we can observe or understand what came before us and synthesize personal experience from secondhand experience.

To me, I feel like if there’s a big weakness with the archetypal Mentor, it’s that there’s only one, and all they do is teach. Some people do make teaching a career, and that’s important! But guess what, when I took my job, I’d never learned how to change a diaper before. I was taught, on the job, by my coworkers. I didn’t check into a monastery to practice rigorously on baby dolls before I ever approached an infant.

This is something that comes more easily once you’ve done the work- if you have a cast of characters with diverse ages, backgrounds, and levels of experience, a lot of teaching will just happen organically. Person X will go to do something, realize person Y doesn’t know how, and so person X will show person Y. X doesn’t need to be older, or A Mentor Archetype, or anything in particular.

People learn from each other, constantly, and for a lot of reasons. And learning is often more meaningful when we integrate it into our daily life. 

[the-creative-lounge-blog]

Third Shift Kakashi - A Lounge Round Robin Story

In this modern AU in-server event for November, Loungers tell the tale of Kakashi's night shift at a convenience store/gas station one sentence at a time.

What is a round robin story? A round robin story is a story that is written by multiple people. Participants take turns contributing a sentence. The last sentence is sent to the next person, who adds their sentence, and then the process repeats through an established amount of time (our event lasted one week).

Participants in Third Shift Kakashi were contacted via DM with the last sentence, and they replied with one new sentence.

Often, round robin stories don’t make sense and they’re meant to make us laugh. To ensure this, a ridiculous topic was chosen from among the MANY fantastic plot bunnies that are Kakashi Lounge-originals:

Third shift Kakashi: Our favorite tired ninja dork punches in at 10pm to begin his third shift at the 7-11 (or Speedway, Circle K, Kwik Trip, or your country's equivalent of a 24-hour gas station/convenience store). Strange things happen during his nightshift but participants decide what those things are. The Slurpee machine gains sentience. Ōtsutsuki aliens land in the parking lot. Cheeto-fingers Obito tries to steal jerky. Deidara tries to use a fake ID to buy beer. Granny Chiyo comes in and pays with pennies. Any and all of these are believable occurrences from 10pm-6am, and more. The weirder, the better.

The only rules were to keep it rated T, and no romantic pairings.

This dumpster fire masterpiece of a round robin story was written by: @maiikawriter, @fleuraison7, Kitera_Matar, /vastments, @mouseymightymarvellous, @thetoxicstrawberry, @myaekingheart, @mallml, @nibbler747, @syusukewrites, @asiriyep, @azuzel23, @tenzosnewleaf, and @hkandiu (all contributed sentences are in italics and each are double-spaced) with opening and closing paragraphs written by @ohayohimawari:

Kakashi sighed as he punched in twelve minutes late to his shift. He’d been late enough times to warrant a written warning from management, but that threat was nothing compared to what he experienced during his overnight shifts at Konoha’s 24/7 convenience store. He pulled his book out of his back pocket with more hope than expectation that he’d actually find time to read amidst the strange things that occurred between 10 pm and 6 am. 

Yukiko and her lover were just getting around to second base and ready to confess their love in this chapter when he’d had to leave for work.

Kakashi pocketed the worn Icha Icha volume reluctantly, hoping for a quiet shift so that he could dive into it again later, and took his prepared bag to head out to his workplace.

Kakashi walked through the store, prepared bag in hand, Icha Icha in his pocket, and sighed as he saw the repeat customer hovering by the front counter.

“No, Naruto, we still haven’t received the limited edition Gutsy Shinobi ramen cups; I told you I’ll call you if we get them.”

Kakashi never heard Naruto’s reply, because his voice was suddenly drowned out by the deep growl of engines pulling into the station, and any hope he had for an uneventful shift was dashed just as quickly as Naruto’s chance of indulging in the delicious goodness of Gutsy Shinobi ramen with the arrival of the Akatsuki Biker Gang.

The group of delinquents strolled into the store as if they owned the place, all sporting matching black leather jackets with red cloud patches on the shoulders and back--an omen that things were about to go south very quickly.

Without seeming to lift his eyes from his book, Kakashi sighed to himself as he watched them clumsily stuff candy bars and Slim Jims under their jackets... were the Akatsuki having an initiation night?

Should he bother confronting them?  The long expired Slim Jims they were about to partake in might be punishment enough.

Kakashi put on his best fake customer service smile and didn't say anything - whatever they were stealing, he wasn't paid enough to care.

He sighed. ‘Sir, if you lick the candy bars one more time it’s a week ban. Not so funny when you can’t get those stale nachos, huh?’

Just to prove his point, and maybe because he was feeling a bit exasperated by now, Kakashi carefully unwrapped a candy bar of his own and inhaled the whole thing in two seconds beneath his mask - leaving the visitor stunned, staring wide-eyed with new appreciation at the silver-haired man’s obvious authority on the subject of candy-bar licking.

"Ew," Naruto reminded Kakashi of his presence at the same time that Deidara tried to sneak a six-pack of Budweiser beneath his shirt, so he changed tack to deal with the Akatsuki Biker Gang because he wanted to keep his loyal customers.

Although, 'loyal customers' was a bit of a stretch at times; yes, they frequented the place often, but more often than not they also gave him quite the headache.

He was too tired for this shit at this hour of the day. 

Kakashi did what he was best at - feigning boredom and being unaffected by what was happening in the hope that the problem solved itself.

Kakashi pulled out his beloved Icha Icha and proceeded to hide behind the vivid orange cover as he ignored the problem happening in front of him.

The Akatsuki biker gang couldn’t be so easily ignored, as Hidan proved when he snatched the orange book from Kakashi’s hand.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Kakashi said pleasantly, his best customer service smile sharp as blades under his mask, “but that’s not for sale.”

Hidan squinted and flipped the book sideways in a gesture that made Kakashi think he had never held a book before, let alone read one, and Kakashi’s eyes flicked to the closed-circuit camera in the corner as he contemplated forgoing his service training in order to retrieve it, but stopped when he noticed the suspicious red smudges that the man’s fingertips left behind on the cover of his cherished Icha Icha.

It was too bright to be anything ominous - in fact, it matched the same shade as the cherry-flavored Slurpee they offered - but Kakashi wasn’t about to let Hidan slide on stealing a mouthful of frozen delight, or marring his favorite book, so he growled, “You owe me two dollars for the drink and a new copy of Icha-Icha.”

"Two dollars!--look, I'd pay ya, but my partner's a real Stooge [sic] with the purse strings... how 'bout I make it up to you in the stock room instead, if you know what I mean?" the gray-haired religious fetishist suggested with a waggle of eyebrows.

Kakashi considered the offer as it would lessen his shift duties and afford more time to read, however, just then his, Naruto’s, and every head belonging to the Akatsuki biker gang turned to the main entrance when the cheerful ding sounded announcing the arrival of another repeat customer, Granny Chiyo, with her fists full of scratch-off lottery tickets.

Granny Chiyo, was a legend not just for being the bad-ass take no names grandmother of one of the more dangerous Akatsuki gang members, but also for being thrifty.  She slammed the scratch off lottery tickets on the counter, and reached into her jacket and pulled out Kakashi's most dreaded item - the jar of pennies.

She placed the jar on the counter with a loud clunk before reaching inside and pulling out pennies one by one, counting them on the counter under her breath. "This will only take a moment" she assured him, "I want to be precise!"

Kakashi took in the mayhem around him with a glazed 100-meter stare.  There'd been worse nights, right? No machetes yet, right? All he needed was to make it to break time and have a smoke. 10 minutes.. Kakashi inhaled deeply and cleared his throat 'Take ALL the time you need Ma'am.'  He shouldn't get involved right? He needed to man the till, right?

Kakashi smiled at Chiyo who was determined to pay for her weird collection of knickknacks with a gajillion pennies, but couldn't help glancing at the security camera that showed an energetic teenager mid-dance battle with the local biker gang; the only thing more bizarre would be Gai showing up to join them and to be honest he wouldn't be surprised.

The universe was not about to pass over an opportunity like that; if Kakashi had learned anything in his long years, it was that the best way to handle the sudden burst of GREEN and NOISE that assaulted his senses (out of seemingly nowhere) was to remain calm and tip a casual “Yo” to his rival while keeping an eye on Chiyo, the teenager, the biker gang, and the dance battle all at once... Gai would probably join the dance battle in a few minutes anyway.

Because, hello my dear, he wasn't going to leave his dignity in pieces. Better dead than ridiculous ... Although maybe ...?

He ran a hand through his already unruly hair as he rolled his shoulders, getting ready for whatever lay ahead; a quick glance at the clock confirmed his shift still had a long ways to go.

There was no time to relax when the biker gang was already making a move on some products, thinking he wouldn’t notice.

Kakashi decided that losing his job over a bunch of tough dudes acting like broke teenagers wasn't worth it, so he strode over to them first; maybe Gai would help him if they got violent - not that Kakashi would need help with that though.

And that was when it all exploded as Gai joined the dance battle causing them to knock over a display onto the Akatsuki teenage biker gang who exploded in rage causing both the aged Chiyo and Naruto to get knocked to the ground.

Kakashi in panic rushed to Naruto almost running over the old Chiyo and got out his flute then started to bang in on poor knocked-out Naruto's head, the Akatsuki teenage biker gang all nodded as they understood that it was an extremely necessary step of Cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

Gai—either unconcerned, not noticing the damage, or convinced that anything can be solved with the power of dance—dropped to the ground in an impressive worm, once more pulling the attention of the Akatsuki members.

Instigated by the impromptu dance party, the eccentric masked Akatsuki member jumped up onto a tower of canned diet Coke and started beat boxing, and Kakashi could only watch in horror as Gai’s worm morphed into break dancing.

Kakashi sighed and rubbed his tired eyes from behind the counter as he watched Gai break dance down the snack aisle to the rhythm of the masked man's beatboxing, onlookers pumping their fists and cheering as another Akatsuki gang member started to rap about how "art is an explosion."

'What the hell,' was the thought that echoed through Kakashi's aching head with increasing volume; what the hell indeed?--and as he ripped off his red vest  and leapt to the top of the counter, the crowd, one by one, turned toward him and fell silent: the cheering onlookers, the masked beat-boxer, the pony-tailed blond... until, at last, the only sound and movement was the frenzied tricking of Gai as the spandex-clad man danced on, unaware.

As he crouched on the counter he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through with this - but desperate times called for desperate measures.  He grabbed a Slim Jim and held it up as a mic.  There was only one song that would shut them up.

Kakashi started the song softly, but got louder with each word, one hand leading the dance as he ever so slightly got closer to the crowd and then- 3am really was the witching hour, huh? - the crowd joined his dance and with each Ey macarena they were inching a little closer towards the exit in perfect synchrony.

Just then, Naruto regained consciousness and after blinking several times at the chaotic crowd, exclaimed, “What happened to the old lady that was here?”

Kakashi dropped the Slim Jim mic at these words, and glanced where Chiyo had once stood only to find a list of her purchases and her payment-the jar of pennies-waiting to be counted. He ran a hand down his face, noticed the mess below the dripping slurpee machine, spied Deidara passed out in a corner with empty beer cans around him, Kisame and Itachi not-so-secretly pocketing sunglasses, while Hidan sang and Gai danced on with abandon.

Irritably grabbing the mop for what would not be the last time that night, Kakashi unceremoniously stepped over Naruto.

Kakashi briefly considered whether or not this job was really worth the $7.25 per hour it paid him, before surreptitiously mopping himself within a meter of Itachi and Kisame, who he surprised with a heavy “Thwack!” of the mop handle across the backs of both their legs, causing them each to drop a pair of sunglasses and clap their hands across their backsides to smooth the stinging sensation.

He laughed devilishly, enjoying the momentary respite  from the craziness of the shift and the antics of his so-called customers; was anyone actually buying anything tonight?

No matter, they didn’t need to, as long as they would get out.

But they just wouldn't get out, so Kakashi had to take more drastic measures - the fire alarm would get him into trouble with his employer, faking a power failure seemed like a safe option though, so he went over to the power box, turned off the main switch and listened with a deep satisfaction to the surprised screams and commotions in the shop.

“Lights are out,” Kakashi stated obviously, walking carefully back towards the register, “so if everybody could put any unpurchased items down and carefully head towards the still illuminated exit signs, that would be greatly appreciated.”

There was a moment of silence, followed by murmuring, and then the faint crumpling sound of what was either plastic encased items being set aside, or even more likely, being concealed in pockets.

While Kakashi knew that letting customers get away with stealing would come back to haunt him if and when his boss found out, at this rate he quite frankly couldn't even care--and besides, with all the lights off, he doubted the security cameras would pick up anything anyway.

As the subdued miscreants groped blindly to the door, illuminated only by the impassive green of the EXIT sign, Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief that his shift was finally winding down--that is, until the resounding BOOM that echoed from the front parking lot.

The screech of tires, the thundering bass, it was a sound he was only too familiar with -  it could only be one man.

Finally, finally the whole bunch was gone, only to be replaced by the loudest most obnoxious person he could think of, but Killer B was a regular and as such Kakashi had to endure his bad rapping.

Kakashi threw his head back and softly yeeted with fingers pointed skywards "Pew, pew pew! Fxxx my life!"

As the giant strode inside, clapped his hands on the countertop at the register and whooped “Yo! Bakayaro! Konoyaro! Kakashi, better watch me, can’t copy me, yeeeahhh!” the shopkeep wondered where this cheerful monster had been earlier, when so many folks were acting the fool (no doubt Killer Bee would have assisted him in wiping the floor with two or five of the previous visitors); “Bee, my man, you have no idea the kind of night I’ve been having...”

Unfortunately for Kakashi, Bee had become distracted by a motion sensor dancing sunflower, and took its song as a challenge for a mini rap battle.

"Yo, this flower's got moves! Look at it swaying while I spit some rad tunes!" Bee enthused and all Kakashi could manage in reply was a tired "You should've seen the dance battle earlier."

Lifting up his sunglasses to peer more closely at Kakashi's face--how was he able to see with those on in the middle of the night? the silveret wondered--B  yelled concernedly, "Yo man, feeling tired? Uninspired? Say no more! Let's hit the door!" and, heedless of Kakashi's terrified recoil, scooped the smaller man up under his arm and boogied them to his ride, parked across three spaces in the parking lot.

“What is the meaning of this?” The assistant shift supervisor, Danzo, showed up at the door, with Konoha’s 24/7 general manager, Hiruzen, right behind him. 

“Um—” Kakashi began, and ended because there was no explaining it. 

“You’re fi—” 

“I quit!” Kakashi shouted, silencing Danzo. 

Bee brandished a peace sign while Kakashi offered a much ruder gesture and the pair took off in search of an after party, or a nap. 

Just then, Naruto-whom everyone forgot about-stepped out from behind an endcap of ramen cups. “Does this mean you’re hiring?” 

Hiruzen smiled, “I’ll get you an application.”

The End

 Do you have an idea for a title? Add it in the replies to this post!

[ryanjdonovan]

DONOVAN’S OSCAR PROGNOSTICATION 2021

We all knew it was coming: The Oscar nominees are now almost literally handpicked by Netflix and Amazon. We thought it would be a few years away, but it's just one more piece of fallout from the pandemic. It won't be long now before I'm making my predictions for the Flixies or the Amazies. (By the way, streamers: I just want to watch the friggin' credits, why is that such a problem??)

In case you haven't been paying attention (and I'm pretty sure you haven't), Nomadland is going to win the big Oscars. Haven't seen Nomadland? Or even heard of it? Or any of the Oscar-nominated films? Or didn't even know the Oscars were happening this year? You're not alone. With no theaters this past year, the non-bingeable, non-Netflix-welcome-screen movies were pretty much an afterthought. (But if you asked the streaming services, the nominees this year each accounted for a billion new subscribers and topped the worldwide digital box office for months.)

Well, I'm here to tell you the Oscars are in fact happening, albeit a few months late. Fear not: my 22nd annual Oscar predictions will provide everything you need to know before the big night. (You don't even need to watch the movies themselves -- reading this article will take you just as long.)

BEST PICTURE:

SHOULD WIN: Minari WILL WIN: Nomadland GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Pieces Of A Woman INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

If you're a fan of capitalism, this is not the year for you. Nominees like Nomadland, Mank, Judas And The Black Messiah, The Trial Of The Chicago 7, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, Hillbilly Elegy, Minari, and The White Tiger are all (to varying degrees) indictments of a capitalist system, or at the very least are suspicious of those who benefit from it, and focus on those left behind. It's certainly fertile ground for angst and high drama, if not belly laughs. (Don't get me started on the ironies of all these movies being distributed by billion-dollar conglomerates. The filmmakers, producers, and actors can tell you that the checks cash just fine.) Like Austin Powers said, "Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh comrades?"

There is no way for me to talk about Nomadland, which will win Best Picture, without sounding like an a-hole. It's a gorgeous work of art, and a fascinating character study, but I struggled to connect to the story. (You should know that for me as a movie watcher, story is more engaging than artfulness or character. But hey, why can't we have all three?) I wanted to like it, I really did. I'm content to drift along with Fern, the resilient main character played naturally by Frances McDormand, but she has no true objective or antagonist. She's a nomad on the road, either searching or hiding, either with the world or against the world, we're not quite sure which. I thought it might be driving (literally) toward a bigger revelation or resolution, but no. (Same with life, I guess.) It's meandering, reticent, languorous, and ethereal (I'm trying really hard to avoid using the word "boring" here). This is all quite intentional, by the way -- the film moves at the pace of its protagonist, and the effect is palpable. (And don't worry, it's not lost on me that I'm watching this movie about people barely scraping by, on a large ultra-high-def TV on my comfy couch in my warm home under an electric blanket, using a streaming service that the movie's characters probably couldn't access or afford.) Am I wrong about all this? Of course I'm wrong. Every critic out there is doing backflips over this film. And not surprisingly, the movie's mortality themes are playing well with the Academy, whose average age and closeness to death are extremely high. (Like the nomad Swankie, they're all anxious about that final kayak ride down the River Styx.) But beware the movie whose 'user/audience score' is significantly lower than its 'critic score' -- it means that regular people are not quite buying it. For me, the biggest problem with slice-of-life films is that I don't really want to go to movies to experience regular life -- I have life for that. Then again, I'm also a superficial, materialistic a-hole. But you knew that already. (Added intrigue: Hulu, Nomadland's distributor, might score a Best Picture win before Amazon, and gives Amazon a subtle middle-finger in the movie with its depiction of seasonal workers.)

Remember when feel-good movies were a thing? It didn’t mean that there were no conflicts or problems for the characters, it just meant that they were enjoyable to watch, and you came out feeling good about humans. Minari is the rare feel-good Oscar movie, and my personal pick for what should win Best Picture. It easily might have been a tough sit based on the premise: A Korean family moves to rural Arkansas to start a farm, and must overcome a drought, financial calamity, a complete lack of agriculture experience, a crumbling marriage, the son's potentially-deadly heart condition, and a grandmother that drinks all their Mountain Dew. In keeping with Oscar tradition, it could have been a constant assault of upsetting scenes. But instead, it's a warm, sunny, optimistic, funny movie. The family faces struggles and hardships, to be sure, but the story is treated with positivity, not negativity; with a sense of community, not isolation; with an attitude of resolve, not blame. And they get through their problems with mutual support, togetherness, tenderness, humanity, and of course, love. (Not to mention grandma planting some weeds that may or may not miraculously heal physical and emotional wounds.) All these things combine to make it a more engaging experience for me than Nomadland. Not only do I wish this movie would win the Oscar, I wish I could give it a hug.

A lot of pundits think The Trial Of The Chicago 7 has the best chance to upset Nomadland. But I'm not seeing that happen. It was an early favorite and has been getting tons of nominations in the awards run-up, but it hasn't actually been winning much, and seems to be losing steam. (The lack of a Best Director nod is virtually a killer.) I think Minari has a small chance to sneak away with a victory, as it's gotten almost as much universal praise as Nomadland, but hasn't had the same audience. Judas And The Black Messiah is an interesting case, in that it's a late entry that had little early awareness (it didn't plan to be eligible until next year's Oscars), but it scooped several unexpected nominations. Debuting a contender late and taking advantage of recency bias has been a successful strategy in the past, so don't be surprised by a surprise. (Had Shaka King scored the last Director slot over Thomas Vinterberg, I think Judas would be a fairly legitimate threat.)

If you had asked me in September, I would have predicted that Mank would be the wire-to-wire favorite to win Best Picture. Aside from being a prestige David Fincher film (more on him later), it's a smorgasbord of Classic Tales of Hollywood. And the centerpiece couldn't be bolder: It's an homage to, a making of, a dissection of, and political dissertation on Citizen Kane -- only the most deified film of all time. Simply recite the synopsis, describe the film's 1940s black-and-white aesthetic, and mention Gary Oldman's name as the star, and just watch the Oscars come pouring in, right? Well, not quite. It netted 10 nominations, more than any other film, but it's looking like it might not win any of them, certainly not Best Picture. I don't think the film quite knows what it wants to be; at least, I'm not sure what it wants to be. Centered on Herman Mankiewicz, the man credited with co-writing Citizen Kane with Orson Welles, it's a distorted, polemical, impressionistic portrait of a man I barely even knew existed. Though Welles is only briefly portrayed in the film, it demystifies him a bit, suggesting that he's maybe not as responsible for this work of genius as we thought. If the film was framed as "Who actually wrote Citizen Kane?", it would be a little easier to get into. But it feels somewhat academic and circuitous (in a way that Kane itself doesn't). And while the script is clever, it's clever to the point of being confusing. Of course, a film of this pedigree invites a lot of scrutiny, maybe more than any other awards contender (or any film that actually got released this past year, period). It has a lot to appreciate, and surely would benefit from a second viewing. I also can't help but root for the fact that it's been Fincher's passion project for almost a quarter-century. (Then again, tell that to any indie filmmaker who spends their whole life on a single passion project that ends up getting completely ignored, and they’ll tell you where to shove your Fincher pity.) Ultimately, it's an admirable work, but if you're looking for a Rosebud, it's not there.

Promising Young Woman continues to defy expectations. Not only did it rack up six Oscar nominations, it's likely to win one or two of them, and for a while, was gaining on Nomadland for Best Picture. Now that the chips are falling into place, we know it won't win in this category, but it remains one of the most talked-about films of the season. What I like most about the film is not necessarily the literal story (I should have seen the main twist coming a mile away), but the way writer/director Emerald Fennell elevates it in an interesting way. Instead of showing the whole story, she starts her film at the end of a typical revenge thriller (several years after the incident and the legal aftermath). In fact, the victim is not even in the movie, and the victim's best friend is already far along on her path of retribution. (It also challenges the definition of "victim".) The film is not voyeuristically exciting in any way; it's unsettling, but also oddly charming in unexpected ways. The key for me is how it serves as a metaphor for the secrets people keep from loved ones and the toll that it takes on them, and the penances we give ourselves instead of allowing ourselves to heal. It also made me realize that movies could use more Juice Newton. (Paris Hilton, not so much.)

Sound Of Metal and The Father were probably the last two films to make the cut in this category, and are the least likely to win. Their best chances are in other categories. (Pro Tip: If you put the word "sound" in the title of your movie, there's a very good chance you'll win Best Sound.)

I don’t recommend Pieces Of A Woman to anyone who's pregnant, or partners of pregnant women, or anyone planning to have babies anytime in the future, or any partners of anyone planning to have babies anytime in the future, or people hoping to be grandparents anytime in the future, or doctors. (And I'm certain midwives are not giving this a ringing endorsement.) The film starts with an infant death, and then gets worse from there. It's not just an unpleasant experience, it's a series of unrelenting unpleasant experiences: Depression, extra-marital affairs, guilt, a domineering mother, lying, manipulative spouses, abandonment, feelings of inadequacy, sexual dysfunction, litigation, sibling jealousy, public shame, borderline domestic abuse, bribery, courtroom drama, financial problems, baseless blame, and drug addiction. And if that's not upsetting enough, they also manage to throw the Holocaust in there. (This should be a movie sub-genre: "Parade of Horrible Events". This fraternity would include: Manchester By The Sea, Mudbound, Uncut Gems, 12 Years A Slave, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, The Family Stone, and of course, The Revenant.) And then there are the characters. It would be one thing if these were ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. But these are extraordinary a--holes making extraordinary circumstances much worse. It's literally laughable. If I didn't understand what the word 'melodramatic' meant before, I do now. I'm aware that this is based on the experiences of writing/directing spouses Kata Wéber and Kornél Mundruczó, and I don't mean to trivialize their pain or what they went through. Nobody should have to suffer that trauma. And I realize art is a healthy and oftentimes beautiful outlet for grief. But… did I mention the movie is unpleasant? There are certainly wonderful fragments and ideas in here; if the components added up to something moving, I would be much more receptive to it. If I were a snarky (okay, snarkier) reviewer, I might call it "Pieces Of A Better Movie".

Soul is a lovely and inspiring movie, but I'm at the point where I have to judge films by my experience while watching them with children. Try explaining this movie to a 6-year-old. Way too many existential/philosophical/theological questions. I guess it's good for parents who like to talk to their children, but if you're trying to keep your kid occupied and quiet (the reason screens were invented) so you can do something else, it's a bust. (It's no match for the hysterical self-explanatory antics of a certain motor-mouthed, overweight, black-and-white, martial-arts-fighting bear with a penchant for sitting on people's heads and, more importantly, keeping kids silently dumbstruck.) And: Did they have to make the entrance to the afterlife -- a giant bug zapper -- so terrifying? If that's how you get to heaven, what is the entrance to hell like??

BEST ACTOR:

SHOULD WIN: Chadwick Boseman (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom) WILL WIN: Chadwick Boseman (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Pete Davidson (The King Of Staten Island) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Delroy Lindo (Da 5 Bloods)

This one hurts. I usually don't feel a connection to or an overabundance of sympathy for celebrities, but this one genuinely hurts. When Chadwick Boseman wins Best Actor (for Ma Rainey's Black Bottom), it will be a wonderful celebration, but also a painful reminder, not just of who he was, but of who he was yet to be. If ever there was a unanimous vote, this would be it. Before this movie, we had seen him play heroes and outsized personalities, but there had been nothing quite like his role as Levee, the gifted and demonized trumpet player in Ma Rainey's band. His brash, wounded performance is astonishing, revelatory. Since the film debuted after his passing, we can only watch it through the prism of his death. It's hard not to feel parallels: Levee is just starting to scratch the surface of his talent, giving us hints of his abilities with composition and brass before his breakdown; similarly, we have only gotten a taste of Boseman's range and depth. For both the character and the man, we're being deprived of the art he would have created. Boseman's passing makes the performance more resonant and unshakeable, but I think under different circumstances he would still be the front-runner in this race. The only difference would be, we'd assume this would be the first prize of many.

Anthony Hopkins picked an unusual time to go on a hot streak. He recently left a memorable impression on the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Odin, got an Emmy nomination for Westworld, and scored 2 Oscar nominations (after a 22-year drought) -- all after his 80th birthday. This year's nomination, for playing a man slipping into dementia in The Father, probably would have been a favorite to notch him his second Oscar in a different year. He seems like he should be a two-time winner, and we just don't know how many more chances he'll have. (I stand by my declaration that he should have won last year for The Two Popes, over Brad Pitt.) To those aforementioned aging Academy members who fear mortality and probably consider Hopkins a spry young man: Maybe you shouldn't watch this movie.

Riz Ahmed's performance in Sound Of Metal establishes the tone for the entire film, making the experience feel grounded and real. I appreciate how his outward, physical performance is very still, while his internal performance is frenetic, like there's a live wire in his head that he's trying to conceal from the world. His quietness leaves us with an uncertainty that feels like authentic; he's not going to tell us all the answers, because his character is figuring it out as he goes. Speaking of questions, I have a few about his band in the movie (before the hearing loss): Are they any good? What kind of living do they make? Is their cashflow net positive or negative? Are they considered successful (in whatever way you want to define that)? What is their ceiling, commercially and artistically? Are they one lucky break away from making it, or is it a lost cause? Most importantly, if Ahmed and fellow nominee LaKeith Stanfield (Judas And The Black Messiah) had a sad, doleful, wide-eyed staring contest, who would win?

Steven Yeun has been a recognizable face in film and TV (and a prolific voice actor) for a decade, but we haven't really seen him front and center until Minari. And after this bright, heartwarming turn, I think you can expect him to remain in the spotlight for the foreseeable future. His understated and remarkable performance carries this beautiful story of a family finding its path through a new way of life. Despite scant dialogue and minimal exposition, we seem to always know what his character is thinking -- that he's facing daunting odds but has a steel resolve. He and screen partner Yeri Han (who deserves as much credit as Yeun for this film) create one of the most tender crumbling marriages I've seen on screen in a long time. (Though a marriage counselor could have given his character some helpful "dos and don'ts" that might have saved him some headaches.)

What's more improbable, Mank's meandering, decades-long journey to the screen, or the fact that we're supposed to believe 63-year Gary Oldman as a man in his 30s and early 40s? Well, once his performance begins, it's so hammy that you forget all about the ridiculous age discrepancy. He's playing Herman Mankiewicz, whose bombastic writing and sozzled demeanor helped mold the script for Citizen Kane into the legend that it is. It's a bloviated, ostentatious, spectacular exhibition of affectation and panache that only Oldman could pull off. It's a lot of fun. (It must be exhausting to be his wife.) It’s as if Mank wrote the story of his own life... and gave himself the best part.

I'm naming Delroy Lindo for my snubbed choice, for his intense and crushing performance in Da 5 Bloods. I've been hoping he'd get an Oscar nomination for 20 years, and by all accounts, this was going to be his year. Even in the fall, after a slew of critics' awards, he was the odds-on favorite to win. So it was a disappointment that his name wasn't called when nominations were read. For now, he'll have to be content with being everyone's favorite never-nominated actor. (But here's to hoping The Harder They Fall is frickin' amazing, so he can end that drought next year.) There are plenty of honorable mentions this year: Adarsh Gourav (The White Tiger), Mads Mikkelsen (Another Round), and Kingsley Ben-Adir (One Night In Miami) come to mind. (By the way: How often do Kingsley Ben-Adir and Sir Ben Kingsley get each other's take-out orders switched?) But my runner-up is John David Washington (my snubbed pick two years ago), who undoubtedly became an A-List movie star in the past year… but not for the reason you think. Yes, Tenet was a blockbuster and the cinematic story of the summer, but he had special effects and storyline trickery supporting him. Instead, Malcolm And Marie is what stands out to me -- he has nothing but his performance (as abrasive as it is), and he still commands the screen and our attention. When he gets hold of a juicy monologue, he starts cooking… but when he starts dancing on the countertop? Look out.

BEST ACTRESS:

SHOULD WIN: Andra Day (The United States Vs. Billie Holiday) WILL WIN: Andra Day (The United States Vs. Billie Holiday) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Anya Taylor-Joy (Emma.) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Jessie Buckley (I'm Thinking of Ending Things)

Coming down to the wire, we've got a race where three women have a chance to win, and the favorite depends on who you ask and when you ask. Carey Mulligan, Viola Davis, and Andra Day have each won precursor awards, and seem to leapfrog each other daily. Mulligan has been picked by most prognosticators, with Davis right behind. But I'm going to put my untarnished reputation on the line and predict a long-shot upset for Day. (And when that doesn't happen, I'm going to say that I actually thought Mulligan or Davis were more likely.)

Maybe I'm picking Andra Day because she's also my personal favorite, for her star-making debut in The United States Vs. Billie Holiday. The movie itself is serviceable but not stellar (some of the scenes and dialogue are absurdly expository), but Day is an absolute dynamo as the Lady Day. The film is a fairly rounded picture of her life, including her drug abuse, health issues, singing the controversial-at-the-time civil-rights song "Strange Fruit", and an investigation by the U.S. government (hence the title) -- all of which is intriguing for those of us not familiar with her personal story. (I'm sure you'll be shocked to learn that, despite my curmudgeonly ways, I was not in fact alive in the 1940s.) Day has seemingly come out of nowhere, because there was no early hype about the film, and nobody even saw it until a few weeks ago (and even now, it hasn't been seen by nearly as many people as the other contenders). Known primarily as a singer before this (I'm a big fan), she literally transformed her voice (straining her vocal chords, taking up smoking) to capture Billie Holiday's unique vocals. The singing alone might be enough to get her a nomination, but it's the dramatic work that puts her ahead of the field. More than any other nominee, we really get the feeling that she's laying her soul bare onscreen. Even for a seasoned actress, the depth of this performance would be impressive. Her film doesn't have the popularity or momentum that Mulligan's or Davis's do, so she's heading into Oscar night as an underdog. But if voters judge the actresses strictly on performance, not on the movies themselves, she might just pull an upset. And, if you haven't heard Day sing outside this movie, do yourself a favor: Stop reading this article (you might want to do that anyway) and browse her catalogue -- she has the best voice of any contemporary singer, period. Forget Billie Eilish, why isn't Day singing the next James Bond song?

Carey Mulligan returns to the Oscar game for the first time in 11 years, for Promising Young Woman. (Is she bitter that her performance in An Education lost to Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side? Probably not as bitter as I am.) Promising Young Woman is getting a lot of attention and accolades, and much of it is due to Mulligan's strong turn as Cassandra, a woman on a revenge crusade that has taken over her life. It's a layered performance; we see a lot of Cassandra's facades, but we don't know if we ever see the real person. Her best friend's rape and subsequent suicide has left her stunted; by the time we meet Cassandra, she's literally and figuratively become someone else. As rough as it sounds, Mulligan is able to make it… well, 'fun' isn't the right word, but 'enjoyable'. We see Cassandra refusing to sit or be bullied; she has agency and kinetic energy in situations where many do not or cannot. Whether or not the film works rests largely on Mulligan's shoulders; it's a good thing she's such a talented actress, because not many could pull it off. The more people see the film, the more she's been picked to win the prize. Will she get enough support for a victory? (Ms. Bullock, you owe her a vote.)

Out of all the nominated performances this year, Viola Davis's is the most amusing. Playing the titular singer in Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, it's clear she's having blast. When she's onscreen, Davis owns every single inch of it. She doesn't just drink a bottle of Coke, she guzzles the whole thing with gusto and verve, serving notice that this is going to be the most entertaining consumption of soda you've ever seen. And so it is with the rest of the performance. (Though the lip-synching is not particularly believable; but then again, that didn't hurt Rami Malek in Bohemian Rhapsody.) It will be interesting to see what happens on Oscar night. She's been up and down in the predictions. She was down after losing the Golden Globe (it's taken us until now to realize the Globes are a waste of time??), but rebounded strongly with a Screen Actors Guild win. She is universally adored, but she's also won an Oscar already for Fences, so voters may not feel quite as compelled to give it to her overall.

And we haven't even talked about Frances McDormand in Nomadland yet. Early on, this category seemed like a sprint between McDormand and Davis. But when neither won the Golden Globe or Critics' Choice, it became anybody's race. As we near the end of the contest, McDormand has pretty clearly fallen toward the back. I don't think it's her performance; instead, she's been discounted due to her own victorious history. She's already got two Oscars (in 1997 for Fargo and 2018 for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri); a third one would require extraordinary circumstances. By comparison, it took Meryl Streep 29 years (and a lot of Ls) after her second to get her third. But if McDormand hadn't just won for Three Billboards three years ago, I think she'd be a lock here; Nomadland may even be a superior performance. She's probably the only actor alive that could pull this off; if she gave up acting, this is how I assume she would be living in real life. It's remarkable how she internalizes everything, yet informs the viewer how she's feeling and what she's thinking with very few words, just her physicality. This project seems particularly challenging. Her character doesn't have the answers; she's searching, but she doesn't even know what for. "I'm not homeless. I'm just house-less. Not the same thing, right?" It's as if she's posing the question to herself, and she really doesn't know. She gets lonelier as the journey goes on, a sort-of self-imposed isolation, and the viewer really feels it. (What does she ultimately find? Well, that's one of the frustrating ambiguities of the film. Don't get me started.) No matter what happens in this category, what McDormand will find is Oscar gold: She's a producer on Nomadland, so she's a strong bet to walk away with a Best Picture statuette.

Saying Vanessa Kirby is the best thing in Pieces Of A Woman is a bit of a backhanded compliment. My distaste for the film was made pretty clear in the Best Picture section, and anybody acting opposite Shia LaBeouf is going to look like Streep. But Kirby is legitimately great, and I think a welcome surprise to those who know her from the Mission: Impossible and Fast & Furious franchises. (And how many fans of The Crown thought Kirby would beat Claire Foy to an Oscar nomination? Don't lie.) Kirby makes the most of her role as an unpleasant person in an unpleasant situation enduring a barrage of unpleasant events surrounded by really unpleasant people. (An infant tragedy is the least of their problems.) But ultimately the film fails her, and unfortunately I don't really believe what any character is doing in this movie. Her nomination has been bolstered by a whopper of an opening scene: a 24-minute single-shot of a childbirth that ends horrifically. But I can't help but feel like the shot comes off as gimmicky; the immediacy of the scene was effective, but the filmmakers seemed to choose stylistic camera movement and choreography over intimacy and realness. The scene may be emotionally truthful, but hoo-eey, Kirby is dialed up. (My personal favorite ridiculous scene? When she's on the subway, wistfully watching children giggling pleasantly and behaving like angels. Ahhh, seems so blissful. Have you ever taken kids on public transportation? They would be fighting, screaming, climbing over the seats, kicking her, throwing goldfish everywhere, getting yelled at by the parents, bumping into passengers, licking the handrails, wiping snot on seats, and saying inappropriate things to strangers. That's parenthood.)

When the movie gods decided to create a remake that would be the exact opposite of what I would like, they conjured up Emma.. (That's "Emma.", with a period at the end of the title. Seriously. It's a "period" piece. Get it?) Anya Taylor-Joy is undoubtedly talented, but she's a letdown as the fabled matchmaker. She also believes that she can bleed on cue. With regard to her climactic scene: "I was in the moment enough that my nose really started bleeding." Wow. No words. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but her performance actually makes me miss Gwyneth.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

SHOULD WIN: LaKeith Stanfield (Judas And The Black Messiah) WILL WIN: Daniel Kaluuya (Judas And The Black Messiah) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Shia LaBeouf (Pieces Of A Woman) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Glynn Turman (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom)

Can you have a movie with two main characters but no leading actors? If you're wondering why the two stars (and title characters) of Judas And The Black Messiah -- LaKeith Stanfieldand Daniel Kaluuya -- are both competing in the Supporting Actor category, congratulations, you're a human on planet Earth. That's Oscar politics for you, and it's nothing new. They are both unquestionably leads; nevertheless, the shift to Supporting has worked out well for both of them. The assumption was that Stanfield would campaign in the Lead category and Kaluuya in Supporting so as not to cannibalize each other's votes, and to have Kaluuya (the stronger awards bet) compete in the less crowded category. (It's been clear for half a year that Chadwick Boseman would be winning Best Actor.) Stanfield was considered an unrealistic shot to crack the nominees anyway (he was probably 8th for Best Actor, behind Delroy Lindo (Da 5 Bloods) and Tahar Rahim (The Mauritanian)). So when the nominations were read, it was a pleasant shock that he had been slotted in the Supporting Actor category. (And wouldn't you rather have him here than Jared Leto?)

But won't they split the vote, resulting in the very problem they were trying to avoid in the first place? As it turns out, no. Judging from other major awards, voters had made up their minds for Kaluuya long ago, so any votes to support this film will likely go to Kaluuya. It's not hard to see why: As Black Panther leader Fred Hampton, he's dynamic, steely, and charismatic. It's very different -- more confident, self-assured and domineering -- than we've seen him in other roles, like Get Out. (This movie is a like a mini-reunion of Get Out. Dang, now I want a sequel to Get Out.) But I'll be the dissenter, and cast my personal vote for Stanfield. I'm conflicted; they're a close 1-2. But for me, Stanfield's role (as an FBI informant infiltrating the Panthers) has more facets to play, and Stanfield's signature tenderness brings me into the character more. Plus, he also has the bigger challenge: he has to play the Judas (a role he initially didn't want). Like another character actually says to Stanfield in the movie: "This guy deserves an Academy Award."

Leslie Odom Jr.'s quest for an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) has hit a speed bump. Already armed with a G and a T, he was the presumptive favorite heading into the Golden Globes to collect more hardware, for playing singer Sam Cooke in One Night In Miami. But that was before anybody had seen Judas And The Black Messiah. As the lone acting nominee for Miami, he's got a lot of support from anyone looking to honor the film and its stellar cast. And as the singer, he gets to show off his lustrous Hamilton-honed pipes several times. In many ways, he's the most relatable character in Miami, the one that (despite Cooke's fame at the time) seems the most mortal. So though he'll lose Best Supporting Actor, fear not: He's the favorite to win Best Song, and keep the EGOT dream alive. (Unless… 12-time nominee Diane Warren finally gets the sympathy vote for her song for the little-seen The Life Ahead. Wait, you mean she didn't win for Mannequin's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now"??)

Paul Raci is a fascinating nominee, for Sound of Metal. He was virtually unknown before this movie (best known as Eugene the Animal Control Guy on Parks And Recreation), but his background is intriguing. He's a Vietnam vet who started as a small theater actor in Chicago (he has a Jeff nomination!). With his upbringing as a hearing CODA (Child Of Deaf Adult), he's a frequent player in ASL theater and is the lead singer in an ASL metal band. (Am I the only one who was gotten CODA confused with ACOD (Adult Child Of Divorce)? Is there such a thing as ACODDA (Adult Child Of Deaf Divorced Adults)?) And in the understated role of Joe, who runs a facility for deaf people and serves as a guide for Riz Ahmed's character, he's fantastic. It literally seems like he's been preparing his whole life for the role, and it pays off. (Though upon further examination of his character… Joe seems like a benevolent, trustworthy guy with altruistic motivations, with a shelter focused on mental healing, addiction recovery, and self-sufficiency. But he also appears to foster an environment that isolates its members, severs contact with all loved ones, preys on those who are unstable to begin with, and convinces members that they will struggle if they leave the community. Ultimately Joe runs every aspect of members' lives, and in return expects unwavering devotion and complete submission to his methods. As soon as Ruben says one thing to challenge him, Joe accuses him of sounding like an addict, knowing it will trigger shame and self-doubt, in a clear effort to control his actions. Joe even slyly suggests that he personally knows how to reach heaven, "the kingdom of God". Is there a chance Joe is actually running a cult??)

They may have just picked a name out of a hat to see which member of The Trial Of The Chicago 7 ensemble would get an Oscar nomination (now these are all supporting actors), but however it happened, nomination day was a good day for Sacha Baron Cohen. (He also got a writing nod for Borat 2.) He is effective in the movie -- maybe the best of the bunch -- and it's a (slightly surprising) affirmation that he's a good actor in addition to being a talented performer. Is his performance actually worthy of an Oscar nomination? I'm fairly impressed (except for his I-love-you-too-man scene with the inert Eddie Redmayne, which plays cheap… but you can probably pin that one on Aaron Sorkin). But there are several other people I would have nominated over Cohen. For starters, my snubbed pick, Glynn Turman, is exceptional as a musician holding his own against Chadwick Boseman in Ma Rainey's Black Bottom. (It seems like just yesterday he was the colonel on A Different World, one of his 150+ acting credits.) Honorable mentions include 7-year-old Alan Kim (Minari), Clarke Peters (Da 5 Bloods), Charles Dance (Mank), and Arliss Howard (Mank).

Wow. Shia LaBeouf is not the only repellant part of Pieces Of A Woman, but he's probably the most repellant part. I'm sorry, but anything he does, or is involved in, instantly becomes less believable. At one point he seems to be trying to creepily make out with his wife… while she's actively pushing in labor. Then later, in a distressing "love" scene, he looks like someone who has never had consensual sex with a partner before; I know the film is going for emotional rawness, but it just looks like assault. Bottom line, I have no idea what he's doing in this movie. (And I guess I don't care what he's doing, as long as it's not another Indiana Jones movie.)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

SHOULD WIN: Yuh-jung Youn (Minari) WILL WIN: Yuh-jung Youn (Minari) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Nicole Kidman (The Prom) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Ellen Burstyn (Pieces Of A Woman)

Oh, sweet revenge. Don't you just love a rematch? It was just two short years ago when Olivia Colman, in a flabbergasting upset, tearfully apologized to presumptive victor Glenn Close in her acceptance speech. (…Or did she condescendingly mock her? We can't be sure about anything in that speech.) Now they are both nominated again -- Colman for The Father, Close for Hillbilly Elegy -- and the bad blood between them couldn't be boiling hotter. Since there are no nominee lunches or in-person media parades this year, I'm assuming they drunk-Zoom each other at all hours and call one another every cruel British and American curse word in the book. Colman even reportedly tweeted, "Glenn, this will be your Hillbilly Elegy: You never won a dang Oscar." Nasty stuff, but nothing unusual during campaign season. Colman is facing a tough challenge (besides playing a woman whose father is in the grips dementia). Voters will be hard-pressed to hand her a victory again so soon (and without any losses). Additionally, she didn't even get nominated for a BAFTA award -- the British Oscar-equivalent -- on her home turf (and they nominate six actors in each category). (But, she would be quick to point out, Close didn't either.) All the talk around The Father is about Anthony Hopkins. Colman is facing extremely long odds.

Which seems to perfectly set up Close to swoop in for the kill. Six months ago, on paper this seemed like a slam dunk. The word was that Hillbilly Elegy featured two of the losing-est actors (Close and Amy Adams) in transformative roles in a heart-wrenching adaptation of a successful book. It was going to exorcise the demons for both of them. Then the movie debuted. And the response was lukewarm. But then the response to the response was harsh. People hated the movie, hated the performances, and hated the participants for shilling shameless Oscar bait. (If you think there's a different kind of Oscar bait, I'm afraid you haven't been paying attention.) The film was weirdly derided as political, and faced a sort of anti-Trump backlash (which I don't understand, considering the movie takes place in the 1990s and early 2010s, when Trump was just known for being an inept USFL football owner and a silly reality-TV host). Entertainment Weekly actually used these words in a single sentence to describe the film: "ham-handed", "smug", "Appalachian poverty porn", and "moralizing soap opera". (I guess people felt about this film the way I felt about A Star Is Born.) And no, the movie is not great; it fades soon after the credits roll. But Close is compelling; at the very least, she's working her tail off. (If you think she's just hamming it up in drag, stay tuned for the end-credits images of the real Mamaw. It's uncanny.) I think the voters really want her to win (but I thought the same thing two years ago). The question is: Do they want her to win for this movie? The answer increasingly seems to be No. The general feeling (which I agree with) is that the role feels a little lacking, and below Close's other lauded performances. People realize that if she wins, it may get dismissed as being a flimsy career-achievement award, which would tarnish it.

So, which one will claim victory this time, leaving the other groveling at her feet, Colman or Close? Neither, it turns out. In a shocking turn of events, Yuh-jung Youn has emerged as a favorite over both of them. (Fortunately, she's blocked Colman and Close on Zoom.) Calling Youn the heart of Minari would be trite. She is, but she's much more than that. She's the conduit for connection: to the children, between the parents, and to the audience. Before her arrival, it feels like there's something missing. (The young son has a heart condition, is constantly chugging Mountain Dew, and is hiding his wet underpants. And the dad thinks he doesn't need a babysitter?) It's when Youn enters the film that the film excels, and we start to feel like part of the family. She also challenges our (and her grandson's) ideas of what a grandmother is (including possibly having magical healing superpowers). A lot of people are looking for a way to reward this film, and this category is its best chance. Heck, even if voters only hear Youn's one line of English dialogue ("Ding-dong broken!" -- referring to her grandson's wiener), that could be enough to win.

Maybe the most curious nomination is for Maria Bakalova, starring in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm as the notorious Kazakh's daughter. A lot of things in the past year would have been impossible to predict, but an unknown Bulgarian actress stealing the spotlight and getting an Oscar nomination for a surprise-release Borat sequel would have to be near the top. And she's actually the only one in this category who's managed to score a nomination from every major organization. She won't win, but her performance (and memes) may live on the longest.

I must be missing something in Mank. (Granted, I haven't watched it the requisite four times in order to truly appreciate it, according to the Fincherists.) But I just don't understand what the fuss is about with Amanda Seyfried. She certainly plays her part well (as Marion Davies, the illicit love interest of William Randolph Hearst and the platonic love interest of Herman Mankiewicz), but I don't see how she elevates it or brings anything extraordinary to it. Her character plays a pivotal role in Citizen Kane (Davies was the inspiration for Kane's second wife), and I presume she's supposed to play a pivotal role in Mank's literary epiphany, but I fail to understand why. (Or maybe I failed to understand her Brooklyn accent.) But more than that, her narrative thread seems distressingly incomplete. She appears to be set up for a meaty final scene, but then her character simply exits, leaving Mankiewicz (and me) baffled. I've been more impressed by her work in other movies, like First Reformed. Of course, perhaps the most significant implication of Seyfried's nomination: Two of the Plastics now have Oscar nominations. (Gretchen, stop trying to make an Oscar nomination happen. It's not going to happen!)

Just in case there was any confusion, 88-year-old Ellen Burstyn is here to let us know she can still bring the thunder. Pieces Of A Woman is a mess, and her character is dubious, but she gets one powerhouse speech to shine and (somewhat) anchor the movie -- a declaration of strength, resilience, and survival. And she delivers a two-handed, rim-hanging, backboard-shattering jam. Oh, right, there's the woman who scored an Oscar, plus four other nominations, in a 9-year span in the 1970s. And who's been an Emmy fixture the past 15 years. And who has four more movies already in the works. Just another not-so-gentle reminder that she's one of the great actors of her generation. (Honorable Mentions go to The United States Vs. Billie Holiday's Da'Vine Joy Randolph, who continues her scene-stealing ways after Office Christmas Party and Dolemite Is My Name; and Dominique Fishback, whose performance adds emotional heft to Judas And The Black Messiah.)

BEST DIRECTOR:

SHOULD WIN: Chloé Zhao (Nomadland) WILL WIN: Chloé Zhao (Nomadland) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Ryan Murphy (The Prom) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Christopher Nolan (Tenet)

The second-most-certain thing this year is Chloé Zhao winning Best Director for Nomadland. She's dominated the narrative and the awards circuit this year; nobody else is close. In fact, she might win four Oscars, which would be a record for one person with a single film. (In 1954, Walt Disney was a quadruple winner for four different movies… but do short films really count?) Odds are that she'll win three, but if she wins Best Editing early in the night, the record will be hers. Historically joined at the hip, Best Director and Best Picture have surprisingly been split between different movies several times in recent years. The voters will align them this year, but I'm going to malign them. (Disalign? Unalign? Who am I kidding, I will malign them too.) As tepid as I am on Nomadland for Picture, Zhao is my Director choice. She is clearly a masterful artist and impressionistic storyteller. But more than that, she's able to conjure a mood and state of mind with her pseudo-documentary hybrid style. She gets us to feel what the character is feeling and put us right in the environment -- and makes it seem effortless. The film's long, languid takes allow us to breathe the air, drink in the scene, and live in the moment, unhurried. Zhao augments the nomadic quality of the film in every shot. But (oh, you knew there was a 'but'), on the down side, I also find the style to be a bit tedious and overdrawn at times. Because of my lack of investment, the film often struggles to keep my attention, or more accurately, my curiosity. And despite the film being touted as a tale of community and interconnectedness, it mostly suggests to me (via the main character) feelings of pain, loneliness, coldness, and sadness. But ultimately, I think those things speak more to the story than the directing. This will doubtless be a crowning a achievement for Zhao, but I'm more excited to see what the future will bring, and what she can do for a story that I'm invested in.

I was really close to picking Lee Isaac Chung for my Should Win, for his rich, captivating film, Minari. (Really close. You, the fortunate, insulated reader, will never truly know how much I agonize over this. Some suffer for art, I suffer for unsolicited criticism.) Honestly, I was tempted to give Chung a clean sweep of Picture, Director, and Screenplay; but instead I've opted to spread them around (I can play Academy politics all by myself). So many of the qualities of Zhao's film are present in Chung's film as well; his toolbox is just as full and varied. His quiet, atmospheric shots are unburdened by haste yet always nudging the story ahead. Chung draws us in, as another member of the Yi family, our hopes rising and falling with each challenge and trifle (and sexed chick) they face. There's a real confidence in his style; he knows how to best engage the audience for the specific journey. For me though, what I appreciate most is the warmth of his filmmaking; while the story has tribulations, the film itself is compassionate, never harsh or aggressive. That stands in stark contrast to Nomadland; the palette is one of the main things that sets them apart. Chung also scored points by showcasing the best accessory on the virtual Golden Globes telecast: a ridiculously adorable child. (Was that his own kid, or a rental? Only his publicist knows for sure.) Careful, I might accidentally talk myself into flipping my pick to Chung.

This was supposed to be his year. Goddammit, this was supposed to be his year! That was the sentiment from cinephiles all over the internet this year. Throw a rock in any direction and you'll hit a podcaster (and possibly me) ranting about how David Fincher was robbed in 2011 when he lost Best Director for The Social Network to Tom Hooper and The King's Speech. (Was the Academy justified? Since then, Fincher landed a third Oscar nomination, fourth Golden Globe nomination, and two Emmy wins; Hooper directed Cats.) In early winter, the pieces seemed to be lining up for a Fincher victory with Mank: a big, mainstream, Hollywood-y underdog story; an ode to the most revered film of all time, Citizen Kane; a scenery-chewing performance from beloved thesp Gary Oldman; a film that was more accessible (read: less weird and violent) than most of his other fare; and a passion project that he had been developing for decades, written by his late father. The only question was not whether the film could win all the Oscars, but whether it could cure pediatric cancer or pilot a rocket to Jupiter. But that was 2020… and we all know how that year went. Maybe it's the fatigue caused by the prolonged award campaign season, maybe it's the lack of theaters that would have showcased his visual marvel, or maybe it's the fact that the film didn't quiiiiiiite live up to the hype, but one thing is clear: Fincher is out of the race. I'll say what a lot of the other film snobs won't: This is probably not the film we want Fincher to win for anyway. We want him to win for something sharper, weirder, more incisive, and more upsetting; in short, something more Fincher-ish. Mank is fantastic, to be sure; and in (mostly) pulling it off, Fincher demonstrates his mastery of historical and contemporary cinema. But the hiccups are puzzling. The film is structured like Citizen Kane itself, which makes it at times equally difficult to engage in; but while Kane's flashbacks feel natural, a handful of Mank's feel shoehorned. The dialogue is in the style -- but not the pace -- of hard-boiled 1940s films, which alone is a recipe for difficult viewing; further peppering every retort with unnatural irony makes for wit but not necessarily comprehension. The Kane-esque echo effect doesn't help; neither do subtitles. (I tried.) While it turns out that it's not supposed to be his Oscar year after all, I commend Fincher on an effort like this -- the singular vision, the vigor, the risk -- even when I don't necessarily love the movie or connect with it. We need his art, we need his beautiful mess. (But next time maybe throw in a grisly murder, perverted romance, or crippling heartbreak… and acquire a charming child for the awards telecast.)

Emerald Fennell impressively scored a nomination for her first feature film, Promising Young Woman, an inventive genre-mashup of a Rape Revenge movie -- a new spin on a 1970s grindhouse staple. Like a lot of people, I don't quite know what to make of the movie (I don't think I've ever actually seen a Rape Revenge movie… though I've seen plenty of Dognapping Revenge movies). It's a film that could go badly a thousand different ways, but Fennell makes choices that keep it fresh and thoroughly watchable. The primary word that comes to mind is 'subversive'. From the candy coloring to the pop music to the meet-cute to the campy suspense, she toys with convention at every turn (in some cases more effectively than others). Even the support casting -- the kooky, on-the-nose (or 180-flipped) cameos spice up the movie, but also tend to undermine it and give it a B-movie vibe. (Do we really need Jennifer Coolidge and Max Greenfield doing what they do best, but not as well as they usually do it? Probably not. Do they make me chuckle? Yes.) The result is an oddly entertaining movie on a subject that is anything but. The patina of playfulness is helpful; if it was an avalanche of distressing, horrifying scenes, it could be a tortuous watch. All in all, it might be the most enjoyable Rape Revenge movie you'll ever see.

Perhaps the biggest surprise nominee in any category is Thomas Vinterberg, for the Danish film Another Round. (The lion's share of the Oscar buzz had been for star Mads Mikkelsen; the film is also up for Best International film.) This movie is in the grand tradition of celebrating alcohol because excessive drinking is awesome. And the Academy has recognized Vinterberg because he has so astutely captured how booze is a tasty balm for every wound -- an ancient and failsafe key to enlightenment and inner peace. Wait, what's that? I'm sorry… I'm being told that this movie is actually a cautionary tale. Hmmm. I guess I should have watched it sober. In light of that, I suppose the film is an interesting examination of middle-aged ennui and the tendency to overlook that which is right in front of you. (Anyone that has gotten this far in the article knows exactly what ennui is, and should have overlooked what was right in front of them.) It's also an unintentionally apt allegory for pandemic life: When it started, we began drinking a bit at home, enjoying Zoom happy hours, and generally having a good time; pretty soon we were day-drinking out of sheer boredom, trying to teach our home-schooled kids long division while buzzed, and it got very sad and depressing; now we're all pretty much ready to jump off the pier. In general, I like the film (though I prefer my mid-life drinking crises more in the mold of Old School), but the story and arc are fairly telegraphed. You mean their problems can't be fixed by increased alcohol consumption? The more you drink, the harder it is to control? Drinking at work as a teacher around minors might go awry? Instead of booze, have they tried rest, exercise, healthy eating, or appreciating the good things in their lives? (Who I am kidding, those are a waste of time.) Ultimately, there are several directors I would have chosen over Vinterberg (Christopher Nolan for Tenet, George C. Wolfe for Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, and Florian Zeller for The Father come to mind), but it's interesting to see the continuing trend of nominating non-American filmmakers in this category, as the Directors' branch of the Academy becomes increasingly international.

I want to talk about the ending of Another Round for a moment. If you didn't see the movie (and I'm betting you didn't), just skip this paragraph. Most of the reviews I've read online interpret the ending as a hopeful, happy one. I think that's crazy. The ending is a Trojan horse. It looks joyful, but just underneath lies tragedy: The trio resume drinking after they've seemingly hit rock bottom and lost their best friend to booze; they believe they're in control and having a good time when really they're spiraling into chaos; they think they've found a balance, when they're actually sliding endlessly further into alcoholism. They don't realize that they cannot enjoy life sober. I think one of the reasons why I like the movie so much is that it masks that ending as a "happy" one, much the way a drinker would see it when they don't realize there's a problem. The ending is denial. A lot of people have seen the final scene as uplifting and life-affirming (even Vinterberg seems to say this in interviews, which is puzzling), that the friends have come to terms with their drinking, and have found a way to drink in moderation and still invigorate their lives and celebrate the small things. I don't understand that take at all. I would buy it if they had found a way to celebrate life while sober. Instead, I think it's the surest sign that they are destroying their lives, because they don't even realize it's happening. It's the 'darkest timeline'. They ask themselves the wrong question, "What would Tommy do?", instead of "What would Tommy want us to do?", and we know exactly what Tommy would do because we see him drink himself to death. Martin has gotten a reconciliatory text from his wife, but just as he's about to go to her, he instead joins the party, quickly gets plastered, and literally goes off the deep end. What's truly heartbreaking is seeing that they've (gleefully and unknowingly) perpetuated the cycle, having encouraged the next generation to drink in order to cope and be "awakened to life". I think there are hints in the final song lyrics ("What a Life") and the movie's poster (the image of Mikkelsen recklessly chugging champagne in a blurry stupor is from the final scene). To me, the seemingly exuberant ending is a fallacy… and utterly tragic.

In a surprise move that everyone saw coming, I'm naming Christopher Nolan as my Snubbed choice, for his twisty, backwards-y spectacle, Tenet. Did I understand the movie? Of course. Oh, you didn't? Dummy.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:

SHOULD WIN: Derek Cianfrance, Abraham Marder, Darius Marder (Sound Of Metal) WILL WIN: Emerald Fennell (Promising Young Woman) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Aaron Abrams, Brendan Gall (The Lovebirds) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Sam Levinson (Malcolm And Marie)

Did his name have to be Ryan? No, that wasn't my biggest takeaway from the script for Emerald Fennell's Promising Young Woman. But it was a big one. As Carey Mulligan's chances fade a bit, Screenplay is the movie's strongest chance to strike gold, making a strong run in the precursory awards. The ending of the film has been pretty divisive, but I like that it's completely unexpected. Maybe it's contrived, but it's what makes the movie memorable for me, and separates it from other revenge thrillers. Or maybe it's inevitable, given the themes of the movie and the character pursuing her mission past the point of no return. Either way, did his name have to be Ryan? Unless Fennell's role (she's an actress, too) as Camilla Parker Bowles on The Crown accidentally embroils her in recent royal family controversies, she should be collecting this award on Oscar night.

Most of the praise for Sound Of Metal has been specifically for its sound design. But it starts with the script (written by director Darius Marder, along with Derek Cianfrance and Abraham Marder), which is the blueprint for the sound and experience of the movie. And it's my pick (by a hair) for best screenplay of the year. It has -- hey, whaddya know! -- an actual narrative, with a main character who has an objective and opposition. It's always impressive to me when a story has very little I can directly relate to, but it still manages to resonate, and strikes a tone that feels real. I also appreciate the skill in the writing -- it's minimalistic, yet thorough in the ways that matter. The film doesn't explain a lot or give us much exposition -- it doesn't lean on voice-over, window characters, or monologues. It's quiet. Which may seem obvious considering it's about a man losing his hearing, but even the man himself and the real world he lives in have a muted vibe (despite his mind being anything but calm). The film has also been lauded for its authentic portrayal of deaf people… but not for its authentic portrayal of audiologists. (I mean, how bad is Ruben's audiologist consultation, that he is in no way prepared for how things would sound after getting cochlear implants? I get more information from my dentist when getting a cavity filled.) Also: What does metal sound like? I still don't know.

Aaron Sorkin would seem like the obvious pick here, for The Trial Of The Chicago 7. It's the kind of sonorous, social-consciousness word-porn we've come to love and expect from him. But he's already got an Oscar (though most people assume he has three), and the fight-the-system theme isn't exactly unique to his script this year. Not surprisingly, the movie feels like a mash-up of The West Wing and A Few Good Men, complete with humorous exchanges of smug cleverness, heart-warming declarations of overly-simplified principle, and his own trademark Sorkin-esque version of facts. Sure, the story of the Chicago 7 is intriguing, but would I rather watch a movie about a Chicago 7-Eleven? It's tempting…

I've previously talked about the reasons I appreciated Minari so much (written by director Lee Isaac Chung). A lot of the sweetness of the film is present in the screenplay. He cleverly tells much of the story through the eyes of a 7-year-old boy, so it's told less fact-by-fact, and more through the filter of a child's memory. (Chung based the screenplay somewhat on his own experiences growing up.) Charming as it is, I can't help but view it through the filter of a parent's anxiety: 1) Is moving across the country to live in a small town where you don't know anyone, living in a trailer, and starting a farm with zero experience the best way to solve marital problems? 2) One of the main promotional photos for the movie is a of the little boy holding a stick. Am I crazy, or is that the same stick that the father was going to use to beat the boy when he disobeyed? Did the marketing person keep their job after that? 3) The friend's deadbeat dad leaves the kids alone overnight, presumably out carousing and drinking, then shows up at breakfast hammered, saying, "Tell your mom I was here all night." How many times can you get away with that? 4) When the boy cuts his foot, is it bad that I did not think of the wound or his safety, but about the blood getting on the carpet? 5) Why aren't these kids in school??

Perhaps the script (and movie) with the biggest head of steam coming into awards night is Judas And The Black Messiah, a late entry that has been picking up acolytes left and right. The film has been lauded for its approach to the story of Black Panther leader Fred Hampton -- by telling it as a gritty, 70s-style, cat-and-mouse thriller, from the perspective of the FBI informant sent to help stop him. Director Shaka King (who wrote the script with Will Berson, based on ideas from the Lucas Brothers) has said that structure, instead of a more traditional biopic style, helped get it made by a studio. Despite the inevitability of the ending, the dramatic conflict and ferocity of the performances make for a satisfyingly tense ride.

This is going to come back to bite me, but my snubbed pick is Malcolm And Marie (or, as it should have been called, Things You Shouldn't Say To Your Girlfriend At 2 AM When You're Drunk And She's In A Bad Mood). It's like a really long Bad Idea Jeans commercial. Now, I'm not necessarily recommending this movie. You should know that most critics and regular people hate it. It's two hours of a couple arguing. It's a rough ride. It's indulgent, overwrought, and well, chock-full of mental and emotional abuse. But (stay with me here), if you can get past all that, those elements have a purpose, and there is a point to the film. I think the key is that it's not intended to be literal. It's allegorical for how we talk to ourselves -- the internal conflict we have, when we wrestle with ideas that are hard to reconcile. It's also lyrical; there's an elegance in how the characters spew eloquent vitriol at each other and rhapsodize (okay, rant) about some opinions that seem dead-on and others that seem wildly inaccurate. In some ways, the words seem like the most important thing; but in other ways, I think the movie could work as a silent film. (Either way, it's inventive: It was the first major film to shoot completely during the pandemic, so it takes place in a single home, with 2 actors, in more-or-less real time.) Writer/director Sam Levinson poses interesting questions about storytelling and authorship: Sure, write what you know; but also, and maybe more interestingly, try to write (and learn) about what you don't know. (Case in point: I don’t really have any experience or expertise about the Oscars, yet here I am.) Levinson has gotten a lot of criticism for what appears to be his point of view. I think that's fair, but I also disagree. I believe it's a bit of a misdirection. I think he believes in both sides of the argument; he's been the irrational, emotional one, and the cool, calculating one. The characters are halves to a whole. There's also the frustration with how the couple end up. The film is ambiguous, but audiences seem to think they stay together. I think the girlfriend actually decides before the movie starts that she's leaving him, and this is their breakup. That's why she lets him say all the horrible things he does, because she knows he has to get it out -- it affirms what she already knows, and reinforces her decision. Did I sell you on the movie yet? No? Well, how about this: It's the best autobiographical movie that Burton and Taylor never made.

As an honorable mention, it would have been a nice story had Mank been nominated here, as it was written by David Fincher's father, Jack Fincher, over two decades ago. The elder Fincher was a life-long newspaper man, who had an affinity for 1930s/1940s cinema, a strong knowledge of Herman Mankiewicz, and a fascination with a famously-dissenting Pauline Kael article that disparaged Orson Welles's contributions to the Citizen Kane screenplay. David Fincher had hoped to get his passion project off the ground in the 90s, but hasn't been able to until now. A nomination would have been a touching tribute to his father, who died in 2003. (Another interesting connection: John Mankiewicz, Herman Mankiewicz's grandson, was an executive producer on David Fincher's House Of Cards.) Despite my frustrations with the overall movie, the script is slick, and analyzes some intriguing inside-the-snowglobe aspects of Citizen Kane. It's a crackling, showy piece that jauntily goes out of its way to flaunt its writerliness. (For you keen-eyed writers out there, you'll notice I just made up the word 'writerliness'.) It doesn’t necessarily require you to believe that Citizen Kane is the greatest film ever made, but a healthy sense of awe doesn’t hurt. (It also helps to have a working knowledge of the film's lore, pre-WWII Hollywood, and 1930s -- or some would say, 2020s -- California politics.) The script simultaneously adores and gives a middle finger to Hollywood. Isn’t that what art is supposed to do? (That's not a rhetorical question. I'm actually asking if art is supposed to do that. Because I don't know.)

I've picked The Lovebirds as my Gloriously Omitted choice, not because it's a bad movie, but because it's a missed opportunity. It should have been amazing. The premise, the trailer, the choice of leads, and the chemistry are all fantastic, and set lofty expectations. But the movie itself is just… underwhelming. Maybe hopes were too high, but it's not as clever, tight, or funny as I wanted it to be. The problem isn't the actors -- Issa Rae truly holds the screen, and Kumail Nanjiani is naturally funny (though his character doesn't stray far from previous ones). I think it's the script (from Aaron Abrams and Brendan Gall), which feels rushed and half-baked, like a collection of sketch ideas. It's as if the screenplay left chunks blank, with a note saying, "The actors will figure out something funny on set." For these actors, I'd rather see a taut thriller story, and let them imbue it with humor and humanity. Or better yet, let Rae and Nanjiani write it themselves next time.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:

SHOULD WIN: Christopher Hampton, Florian Zeller (The Father) WILL WIN: Chloé Zhao (Nomadland) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Jane Goldman, Joe Shrapnel, Anna Waterhouse (Rebecca) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Ruben Santiago-Hudson (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom)

Adapted Screenplay is going to get swept up in the Nomadland tidal wave on Oscar night, but to me it's probably the film's weakest element. I've talked about my lack of connection to the story. I understand the opinion that it's resonant, but is it revelatory? I can certainly see how it would strike a stronger chord during the pandemic, when we are all isolated; it makes the main character's loneliness feel more real. We've all been living in Nomadland, and whether it's David Strathairn shattering our favorite plates, or our kids shattering our iPad, we're just about at wit's end. But Chloé Zhao's script also plays up the theme of community and interconnectedness, and I didn't really feel that. The main character seems to be closing herself off from connection (though the ending suggests a change that we never actually get to see). A red flag is a movie description that says, "It asks more questions than it answers." Ugh, that's tough. For me, narrative is king. I understand that the movie is literally about a drifter with no plan, and the structure of the film is supposed to make you feel unmoored, but a little plot direction would be nice. Then there's the emotional climax, when Bob the Nomad Guru comes to the rescue to explain the whole theme. He tells Frances McDormand (but really, us) that he gets through grief by helping other people: "For a long time, every day was, How can I be alive on this earth when he’s not? And I didn’t have an answer. But I realized I could honor him by serving people. It gives me a reason to go through the day. Some days that's all I've got." Hmmm, where I have I seen that exact sentiment expressed before? Oh yeah, an award-winning short film called Through The Trees. (Available now, for free on YouTube.)

Dementia Mystery Thriller… is that a movie genre? Well, it might be, after success of The Father (written by Christopher Hampton and Florian Zeller, adapted from Zeller's Tony-winning play). "Exciting" is hardly the word I would use to describe the horrible crumbling of the mind that is dementia, but in this movie, it weirdly fits. The film has a way of presenting the disorder in a unique manner, that goes a long way in conveying the helplessness and frustration of the victim. With copycat movies inevitable, I can almost see Christopher Nolan's version now: Demento, where a mumbling Tom Hardy (unrecognizable under heavy old-man makeup) kills his caregiver twice because he can't remember if he already killed her… or her identical twin. The big twist comes when he discovers whether he killed them in the past, or in the future, or if he's remembering the memory of someone else who killed them. The scenes of the movie play in a different random order every time, and the only score is the constant deafening sound of the old man's heartbeat. Marion Cotillard plays the twins -- apparently the only females in the universe -- using whatever accent she feels like, because she has limited, unrealistic dialogue, and has no compelling story or agency, or any useful traits for an actress whatsoever. Hardy's son may or may not be a British crime lord or an undercover MI6 agent, played by Michael Caine (digitally de-aged to look the age that Hardy actually is). An emaciated Christian Bale, who manages to lose 3 inches of height for the role, makes a cameo as Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Revolutionary practical effects include a life-size recreation of Westminster Abbey inside a zero-gravity chamber, for one massively-complicated but forgettable 5-second shot. It will only cost $723 million, and will go straight to HBO Max. I will name it the best film of 2022.

I may be picking The Father, but I'm rooting for The White Tiger, written and directed by Ramin Bahrani. Set in India in the recent past, it's a striking, chilling tale of what men may be willing to do (or forced to do) to escape poverty. Bahrani constructs a fiery examination of themes that never get old: power vs. agency, freedom vs. choice, complicity vs. culpability. His script uses a lot of devices that shouldn't work: excessive, expository voice-over; explicitly-stated metaphors; speaking directly to the audience; and on-the-nose correlations to current times. But the story and acting are strong enough to make these feel integral. Given the themes and foreign setting, it has the misfortune (or great fortune) of being an easy comparison to Parasite, last year's Oscar grand prize winner. But I find The White Tiger far more accessible and scrutable than Parasite (maybe partly due to the devices I mentioned). A win here would be a welcome surprise. By the way, Bahrani's first Oscar nomination is an interesting footnote to Hollywood lore: In the 2014 Roger Ebert documentary Life Itself, we learn that Ebert was given a legendary token by Laura Dern -- a puzzle that had been passed on from several film icons, with the understanding that each would pass it on to someone truly deserving. Dern had gotten it from revered acting teacher Lee Strasberg, and it originated when Alfred Hitchcock gave it to Marilyn Monroe years before. And now Ebert was giving it to Bahrani. 60 years of movie history, from Hitchcock to Bahrani, and into the future. (Good thing it's not at my house, we would have lost several pieces by now.)

Four of the most famous and popular men in the country walk into a bar… so shouldn't the patrons be freaking out more? One Night In Miami plays out a very intriguing hypothetical scenario: When Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali, Jim Brown, and Sam Cooke all met one night in 1964, what did they talk about? The compelling script (by Kemp Powers, based on his own play) and naturalistic direction (by Regina King) make for a highly enjoyable think-piece and character study. It's a daunting task, to say the least: Not only are they representing extremely visible and important figures, but two of the actors (Kingsley Ben-Adir as Malcolm X, Eli Goree as Ali) are reprising roles already played by Oscar-nominated performers (Denzel Washington, Will Smith) who may be more famous than the actual figures themselves. I guess my hang-up (besides the horrendous Johnny Carson impersonation) is, what are the stakes? Historically, we know the stakes for these four people, in the larger context of their lives and the civil rights movement. But in the film itself, in that single night, for these specific characterizations, what are the stakes? What are they each looking for that evening? I think the movie doesn't fully address this, structurally. Ultimately, due to their fame, we know where the characters' lives go from here -- how it "ends". While that makes it interesting culturally, it feels like it puts a ceiling on the movie in a way, like it's holding something back. With these outsized characters, plot-wise, I wanted a little bit more.

Released in October with almost no warning, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm either single-handedly swung the presidential election, or had no absolutely no impact whatsoever, depending on who you ask. It's a rare feat for an original movie and its sequel to both score Oscar nominations for screenplay; I can't think of another time it's ever happened for a comedy. The fact that it's even under consideration -- given its improvisational nature and whopping nine (nine!) screenwriters (I'm not going to name them all, I'm trying to keep this article brief) -- is fairly astonishing. Even more baffling still, it's been placed in the Adapted category instead of Original. (Pesky Academy rules: Any sequel is automatically defined as an adaptation of the original.) The movie itself is unfortunately a shell of the unrelentingly funny original (Sacha Baron Cohen looks more like a middle-aged man doing a mediocre Borat impression at this point). When the big night arrives, the film will either single-handedly swing the Oscar vote, or have absolutely no impact whatsoever, depending on who you ask.

One of the biggest surprises on nomination day was the exclusion of Ma Rainey's Black Bottom from Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay, assumed to be a lock in both categories. It was even thought to contend with Nomadland in this category (it would have gotten my vote, had they asked me). I think it was diminished by the perception of being a fairly straight recreation of August Wilson's play, which is a shame. The film version (written by Ruben Santiago-Hudson) makes wonderful use of the physical space, the confinement, the claustrophobia. And I'd say the movie feels more like an album than a play -- a collection of "songs" (monologues, exchanges, and actual songs), each with its own rhythm, beat, lyrics, and theme, but coming together as a cohesive piece. The composition is effective; it draws you in the way the best albums do, and challenges your brain to think one thing while your heart feels something else. (My only complaint is that I wanted more of Viola Davis and Chadwick Boseman together! Their personalities are electric, and their personas overtake the room. Their conflict is brief (it mostly flows over to conflicts with other characters), and I really wanted to see them alone, head-to-head and unbridled. I realize their distance is purposeful, and important thematically, but damn, it could have been a showdown for the ages. Just another reason to wonder… What might have been?)

The remake of Rebecca was written by a few people, including Joe Shrapnel, whose name may have been a bad harbinger for what was to become of this script. Keep it simple: Please leave Hitchcock alone.

[taiyami]

Dhsjjfks did those messages come off as bullying I'd rather consider them as enemies to allies story arc but you know to each their choosing...but aside from your food preference and physical attributes...I needed your help currently. I like this person for a while but I'm too cowardly and not funny to approach them...what is a subtle but effective way to talk to humans!!!??

P.s- I love how that tends to imply I'm not a human lmao but yea...and I dont if their gay so I may not have a chance ~💀

Wait you're a human?? 😳 Well this is awkward *sweeps my collection of human bones under the large rug*

I'm such a hypocrite for saying this, but the best way to get through a situation like that is to charge headfirst. I am not a subtle person, and I never have been # TAURUS DOUBLE SCORPIO Im an extremely emotional and stubborn bastard to the CORE. This goes for both friendship and romance.

If you've known this person for a while, think to yourself; what am I to lose if things go wrong? what am I to gain if things go right? Usually, in the "worst case scenario", the very least you've gained is confidence in yourself and allows you to do better next time around! I have rejection sensitivity to my very bones (to the point that I didn't start making personal tumblr posts until this last year, and I've had a tumblr for almost 12 years at this point (god im stuck in purgatory here arent i-))! Creating relationships, especially online or in spaces that are full of surprises and uncertainty, can be really difficult to navigate. But some of my best relationships I've had with my mutuals on tumblr is just, take a chance! I comment on their posts, send them an ask, and eventually one of us gets the courage to go to the DMs HAHA. Messaging first can be a really big relief for a lot of people!

Humans arent assholes by nature, and if they are, you don't wanna be around them anyways. Its not good for the heart to be in spaces where you feel unwanted. If they shy away from your companionship in the process, maybe it was a relationship that wasn't based in the correct foundations. 9/10 times, its not the reason your mind likes to convince you it was. "I was too abrasive", "I was too annoying", "I was too sensitive", "I was too forward", etc. as someone who grew up being told all of these things by my family, it took a long time for me to realize that some people just are not on the same wavelength and thats okay. I found my friend group who LOVED and ADORED my forwardness and my passionate nature. I've been loved by people who adored the qualities I was afraid of having and expressing for so long.

In all my years of getting crushes (both romantic and friendship) and getting rejected, the rejections that have hurt the most were the ones I NEEDED. They were not good friends to me, and they were not good people to me. That being said, take a chance! You might be surprised at the results.

[high-fructose-lesbianism]

A Subjective Ranking of all 18 Books in the Vampire Chronicles Extended Universe

18. Blood Canticle (2003)

It took me the longest to read Blood Canticle of any of the books because I couldn’t read more than about 25 pages at a time before the urge to throw the book out the nearest window got too strong. The story is bad, the characters are the worst they’ve ever been and the writing style is full-on terrible. Blood Canticle is one of the worst books I’ve read full stop.

17. Taltos (1994)

I hated the Mayfair Witches trilogy. While Taltos was at least the shortest of the three, it was a terrible conclusion to the trilogy. The Taltos are one of Anne Rice’s worst ideas. Each of the books delves more into their mythology and it gets worst the more it’s explored.

16. Blackwood Farm (2002)

A major issue I have with Anne Rice is she insists on telling these extremely lengthy backstories of characters we’ve just met who I almost never give a shit about. That’s the entirety of Blackwood Farm. It’s the backstory of a character I just met and don’t care about whatsoever. Blackwood Farm evokes the classic Anne Rice style of bad where it switches between just being insane and being fucking boring at the drop of a hat. I skimmed most of the book because it was so boring. But then I’d tune in to some insanely weird shit about intersex vampires or ghost twins giving handjobs or whatever was happening and yeah, my attention would of course be held by such insanity. But invariably, the book would drift back into describing wildly uninteresting events with too much detail and I’d tune out again.

15. The Witching Hour (1990)

The Witching Hour has a three paragraph summary on Wikipedia. It is an accurate summation of the events of the book. So then why is this fucking book 968 pages? That’s my main grievance with The Witching Hour; it’s way too fucking long. It’s the least insane of the Mayfair Witches trilogy but also by far the least interesting.

14. Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis (2016)

These fucking bird aliens who inhabited Atlantis are just the Taltos 2.0. There’s a lot of insanity and also boring backstory in this one. I skimmed the backstory of the Atlantean bird aliens and don’t feel like I missed anything. What saves this book from ranking lower is I’m a slut for the main VC characters interacting and this one did have such a thing, plus some good Louis/Lestat moments which is my other big priority with the series. Simultaneous highlight and lowlight of this book is when that one dude looses a hand but it gains sentience, breast feeds off him or something and then becomes his perfect clone. Fucking insanity.

13. Lasher (1993)

Lasher is the best of the Mayfair trilogy because there are genuine moments of horror in this horror novel. On the downside, the Taltos are as always, insane. Also, another signature of Anne Rice’s is sexy and sexualized teenage characters which there is a lot of in this book in the form of 13 year old Mona Mayfair, her affair with Michael Curry and the many scenes where this is excused, justified or even somewhat celebrated. That disturbed me and not in the way I want a horror novel to disturb me.

12. Memnoch the Devil (1995)

In terms of writing style, Memnoch is a lot better than many of the books that will rank higher than it. But this is a subjective ranking and I didn’t give a shit about Anne Rice working through her weird, religious baggage in a series that I’m reading to hear about the exploits of sexy, bisexual vampires. The majority of this book is again, a long backstory from a character we just met and I don’t care about. In this case it’s literally Satan which is a good start but Anne Rice sure has a way of taking too long describing everything which leaves me extremely bored by the narrative.

11. Blood Paradise (2018)

Blood Paradise should be lower in this list. It’s objectively extremely poor. Blood Paradise is basically the inverse of Memnoch; I really liked the story but hated the writing style. This one only ranks so high because it is a story that focuses on the lead vampire characters who are my priority. And yeah, I liked the outline for the story. It’s character-based, no major new characters interrupt the narrative and no insane additions to canon are added. Too bad the writing style feels extremely half-assed. Where usually I’m critical of Anne Rice taking way too long to say anything and focusing on unimportant details, this one is the opposite. It feels extremely rushed. A lot of major, emotional scenes that occur between characters are only a few sentences or paragraphs long. But still, at least this one gave me story content that I could just expand upon in my head instead of insane additions to canon that I’d prefer to ignore.

10. Merrick (2000)

Merrick actually might have my favourite ending to any of the VC novels. I loved Lestat resurrecting Louis from his suicide attempt and then that descends into Lestat, Louis, David and Merrick living in what seems to be perfectly happy polyamory. I totally dug that. But of course, the majority of the book is a backstory of Merrick, a character I just met and don’t care about. Also, we get a bit of David backstory which I seem to remember being him mostly creeping on some young boy who was in expedition with him. Not ideal. 

9. Vittorio, the Vampire (1999)

Vittorio is a fairly effective historical horror. Anne Rice did a lot of research and it shows. That’s not exactly my interest but she did well with it. There’s also some really horrific moment where Vittorio meets a clan of vampires in an old castle who do keep humans like cattle and eat babies and stuff. The major downsides is just that this is a character who we’ve never met before and never see again. Also the fact that Vittorio is 16 and is absolutely sexualized. I’ve really grown tired of Anne Rice’s constant belief that’s in almost all of her writing that teenagers are sexy and it’s totally fine to fuck them. It makes me uncomfortable to say the least.

8. Pandora (1998)

This one’s just pretty good. I’ve no major complaints but no specific bits of it I want to champion either. Again, a lot of historical research is done which is not interesting to me but well done. Also nice to have at least one book with a female vampire protagonist.

7. Prince Lestat (2014)

Prince Lestat is not objectively better than the last two books. I rank it this high mostly out of relief. For ages, Blood Canticle was the last book in The Vampire Chronicles. So, when Prince Lestat was released, it was impossible to see this as anything other than a huge upgrade. And of course, I liked that this book returned to focusing on the lead characters of Lestat, Louis, Marius, Daniel etc. It’s still a baffling idea to have Lestat be the vampire head of state or whatever though. But oh man, that Louis/Lestat moment near the end of the book made me feel a whole lotta feelings.

6. Blood and Gold (2001)

This one is another excuse for Anne Rice to do a lot of historical research. And you know what? Better she spends her energies doing that instead of creating weird, tall supernatural beings with specific quirks that are impossible to take seriously. I like the framing of this one because it’s sort of the inverse of usual. Thorne, a new character is introduced but instead of him telling Marius his story, it’s established character Marius who tells Thorne his story. And he does this the first day they met after Thorne’s awakened after several hundred years and they’ve taken a bath together. That’s just good story structure right there. The most memorable part of this story for me is keeping a vague tally of all the people Marius fell in love with throughout the course of the story. In one 100-page stretch, Marius falls in love five separate times. This grew tiresome but I also just thought it was funny.

5. The Vampire Armand (1998)

I’m the most morally against The Vampire Armand. It’s basically the peak of Anne Rice’s love of sexualizing teens. That’s sort of the whole book. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that around the time of its publication, Anne Rice got back into religion. I think she looked over what she wrote and was like yeah okay, maybe I do need Jesus. But I dunno, I remember really liking it. It was well-written and Armand is one of my favourite characters. I think Anne Rice did actually hit the right mixture of the story being sexy, horrific and rather tragic. Also, that bit at the end where Armand eats a drug dealer’s face and heart in front of some new, human friends is one of my favourite scenes.

4. The Tale of the Body Thief (1992)

There’s a lot of good and a lot of bad in Tale of the Body Thief. I love the body swap aspect and this one has some of the best interactions between characters. On the downside, there absolutely is a 2-page description of Lestat taking a piss, he absolutely commits a rape and him turning David into a vampire was #problematic. But even there, the Lestat and David scene is really well-written and works because Lestat is an absolute piece of shit. Tale of the Body Thief is for better and worse, Lestat at his most Lestat. Still didn’t need to hear about him taking a piss in that much detail, though.

3. Queen of the Damned (1988)

Akasha is the only good villain in any of the Vampire Chronicles books. Plus, Queen of the Damned brought all the characters we’d met in the previous two books together and I was absolutely all about that. At this point in the series, I actually did care about the majority of main characters and their interactions were absolutely spectacular. Only downside is again, we get a lengthy backstory of Akasha that I absolutely skimmed.

2. Interview with the Vampire (1976)

Yeah, it’s only number 2. Because while this book is better written and the start of this whole damn phenomenon, Louis is far from my favourite narrator. Dude’s too morose and shit. Still, the writing style is exquisite and it introduced great characters. As the series went on, Anne Rice clearly ran out of ideas but because this one is the first book, that’s not the case. There’s a lot of ideas here and they aren’t even fucking insane. 

1. The Vampire Lestat (1985)

I’m really only into this series because of how much I love Lestat as a character. I read Interview and thought I was done with the series. Interview was fine but I didn’t think I cared about the sequels. However, six months later when I decided to read The Vampire Lestat, I knew within the first two pages that this was going to be a problem for me. This is exactly my brand of bullshit. It’s just Lestat being a sexy and shitty person who makes out with everyone and overreacts to everything. I love him. And in the third act when it’s revealed he’s been in love with Louis all along and then Louis shows up in the present day and they reunite???? Oh my god. 16 year-old me nearly exploded. The Vampire Lestat is really the sole reason The Vampire Chronicles happened to me as hard as it did. I love this book and its ridiculous narrator/protagonist.

[catgirlxox]

Omg! I just watched the B10:AF ep “Veeedle, Vreedle” and I now see what your talking about with Julie! I mean, I always believed you, but now I am seeing it with my own eyes! I haven’t watched Ben 10 in some, just recently started to rewatch it (found you blog and I love it!), and I always remembered feeling weird about their (Ben & Julie) relationship. I didn’t remember this ep I rewatched it and I notices something. (1) when the Vreedles come to repo, Ship is on the offensive & starts morphing

into weapons. Julie tells Ship “I don’t want them to see how valuable you are” and instead calls Ben(who comes with in seconds!!) (2) when with Gwen and Kevin, they find out the court order is legit, Ben says “somebody can use him [Ship] as a weapon” Gwen: “AND you DON’T want Julie to LOSE her pet EITHER, right BEN?” Ben passively says he agrees and Julie calls him out on it not being sincere 

(3) Julie ask Gwen would Ben care if Ship was “just a dog, my [Julie] dog” (4) When Ben & Kevin comes back from court Julie is happy b/c Ben went “halfway across the galaxy” for her. But when Ben tells her that he feels, in light of all of this, that Julie is putting a lot of pressure on their relationship, Kevin tells him “it’s just a dog”. Like people Ship is not a dog! Ship is a sentient Mechamorph! You perceive it to act like a dog! Is there even dogs in space?!

Julie starts the episode saying that Ship is powerful, latter saying the same thing to Gwen, but once Ben says the exact same thing that she says, all of a sudden it’s wrong. I’m with Ben, that thing can kill you, your family, or anyone at any given time! Ship, though friendly, it’s not a toy or pet. Ship is like owning a gun; it’s cool and you can take it to the shooting range for “fun” BUT it doesn’t take away how deadly it is.

Gwen & Kevin might be so relaxed b/c they have seen and can handle things like this. But Julie hasn’t, she literally had to call Ben for help b/c she couldn’t protect herself! And what if he couldn’t answer his phone?! But lucky for Julie he comes on time to help, but after that Julie questions if Ben cares about ship. Girl, he cares about you and Ship on two different levels. Even if Ship was a dog, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t go out his way unless it was important.

Julie is important to Ben & Ship is important to Julie, therefore Ship is important to Ben. But again you can’t ignore how dangerous Ship is, or the potential to be. But the worst thing is Ben opened the conversation about what he feels in the relationship, but Julie looks offended and Kevin dismisses Ben. If anyone says they feel pressure in a relationship, THATS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT! Your partner should feel safe & comfortable with you not pressure.

His grievances are dismissed but when Julie got a problem, she’ll raise hell for Ben. And note that this is in the beginning of their relationship and latter Ben doesn’t start these types of conversations anymore, he is mostly reacting or apologizing (to my memory, still rewatching). And I’m surprise that Gwen, of all people, doesn’t have Ben’s back more often. In OS when Kai was first introduced, I remember Gwen sticking up for Ben when he was treated unfairly. Seeing this, I personally think Ben stayed in the relationship b/c he’s lonely & wants intimacy with someone. It used to be Grandpa Max & Gwen, but they now have lives and responsibilities outside of Ben. Often times people who are lonely overindulge in intimacy, i.e always wanting to be around people no matter how long & if it’s good or bad . Some who are quick to romantic relations often do it b/c it’s a quick way to companionship.

I’m not saying Ben doesn’t love Julie, I’m saying is that he emotionally needs Julie more that what she knows and what she can give him. It’s funny how in OV when Rook and Ben become friends, girls start throwing themselves at Ben but he doesn’t care. Julie is traveling and he doesn’t freak out, instead believes the best and let her do her thing. Why? B/c he has Rook, he has a friend that will never leave his side. He finally gets that companion & intimacy he wanted. 

Therefore, no longer NEEDING to hold onto or pursue romantic relations. Instead he’s free to get a gf when he wants one. It’s sad b/c Ben is a empathetic guy, he is so open hearted, kind, forgiving, lighthearted, & trustworthy but people see that as a flaw. Ben will fight for you however you need it, at any cost, but rarely is it returned. He can’t afford to feel bad, to be anything less than Ben 10/10. 

I personally think, within story, Ben deserved better romantic partners or should just stay single. The girls say they given more than they get, but they should know who they’re dating. He couldn’t stop being a hero if he tried, b/c it’s who he is! He’s not dumb, he’ll make “gf time”, but he also needs “me time”. He’ll do what they want, but to do what he wants they’re reluctant or wants something out of it *cough* the D *cough*. It seems like they all are in love with

—————————————————————-

Yes!! I’m so glad people are noticing!

First, the “dog” situation…SHIP IS NOT A DOG. Just because he is seemingly programmed to mimic an earth dog, doesn’t make him any less a weapon. It’s the equivalent of having a machine gun painted pink. Cute, but still deadly.

Ben is right to see Ship for what he is, and in doing so, it proves that he cares about Julie because he cares that she’s in possession of what could be highly dangerous alien weaponry.

Why does he need to go half way across the universe for her to see that??

Is he supposed to just agree with her delusion? Okay, “delusion” might be a little harsh, but he’s had so much experience with dangerous alien technology, even being able to become a Galvanic Mechamorph himself because of the potentially dangerous alien technology literally on his wrist, that he would know what he’s talking about. She doesn’t even know the half of it at this point!

Why does she not care that he’s looking out for her?? How does that make him a bad boyfriend? Just because he disagrees with her?

Who wouldn't feel under pressure when this is a problem very early into your relationship?

Part of me just thinks that they’re reading him wrong. Maybe it should be obvious that Ben saying “I think Ship could be used as a weapon” would translate to “I care about Julie’s safety”, but to her it seems to not have been so clear, unfortunately. 

Similarly, I hear a lot of people talk about how much of a problem Ben’s “attitude” is when debating things in relation to this pairing. Although this is probably more common when discussing Ultimate Alien. 

But honestly? If you don’t like someone’s attitude, why would you stay in a relationship with them?

Are relationships for changing your partner to suit your own preferences? And if their own opinions and perspectives don’t line up with yours, even if they’re right, does that make them a bad partner? 

Flaws are subjective. Clearly what these characters thought was ‘bad’ about Ben, we see the good in. 

He is not fundamentally a terrible boyfriend. 

It’s interesting that you say Ben chose to stay in the relationship due to feelings of loneliness and longing for intimacy that he was lacking. I have my own particular issues with Rook, but, for the most part, I’m willing to slightly overlook those flaws because I’m glad he was there for Ben when he needed someone during the beginning of Omniverse. But that really makes it clear why he stuck around.

I hate when people argue that he was neglectful and ignorant towards her, which is what made her leave. Or, more accurately, “ghost him.” 

I don’t recall anyone in “Rules of Engagement” ever definitively saying that it had been months between the last time Ben and Julie spoke. 

Ben is sixteen in both Ultimate Alien and Omniverse, apparently. If that is true, SO MUCH HAPPENS THAT YEAR! He gains fame, takes down his childhood hero (Captain Nemesis), deals with Ultimate Kevin and Aggregor, deals with the Forever Knights becoming increasingly more violent, defeats Vilgax and Dagon with Ascalon, loses his old team, becomes friends with Rook. deals with Khyber hunting him down, has old wounds ripped open and faces off Malware, gets kicked off the planet while the Incuseans enslave Earth before coming back to save everyone…and that’s not even the whole show! 

They had a falling out between Ben defeating Vilgax and Dagon, and the frog war. Compared to how many events can fit into a year of his life. that couldn’t have been an extremely long time. Two months, maximum. 

But more importantly, he must have been so overwhelmed. It’s so unfortunate that he feels like he can’t express that in fear of people not seeing him as the strong, unbreakable hero he is always expected to be. 

Overall, I definitely agree that he deserved better than what he got. And I could be petty and plug my own self insert oc who I ship with him (and do it right lol) but I’ll save it. Thank you for letting me know my words make a difference!

[omophagias]

bookposting #22

tender is the night, f. scott fitzgerald: 3.5 stars, i’d say. i really do like his prose style. it…there’s some l-word, i forget which—languid, that’s it. it felt very languid. i was less a fan of the flashback parts, partially because i didn’t like being in dick’s head as much as i liked being in rosemary’s. it also sometimes felt like fitzgerald was kind of wobbling around on the border between “no, obviously dick isn’t meant to be a sympathetic character, he’s a self-destructive asshole” and the, like, not being really sure whether he was extending that “you shouldn’t like him!” to the part where he marries his teenage psychiatric patient. (fortunately the autobiographical resemblance didn’t get that far…?) really what i was mostly thinking by the end was, damn, fscott and zelda, i really wish you’d lived in a time when it was easier to get divorced. but, you know, on the list of books about people just really fucking themselves over, this is one of the better ones. i think i got it because i can’t / couldn’t stop thinking about “patient is the night” from over the garden wall.

the fire next time, james baldwin: 5 stars easy. i really wish i’d read it sooner; i ended up reading it because i bought my roommate a copy for his birthday and wanted to be able to write him a decent further-reading list to go with it. i just was completely awed by the facility with which he was able to touch on so many different things and draw them back together into a whole, and he was such a writer. i don’t know that i can really talk about "down at the cross” right now without just quoting massive passages because it just speaks so completely for itself. read it.

trouble the saints, alaya dawn johnson: three stars? this is kind of hard to talk about because i theoretically like a lot about it. alternate-universe 1930s-1940s where at the age of 10 some people of color gain a power called “the hands” along with occasional semi-prophetic dreams, “the hands” basically give you one superpower like “can see a person’s worst deed by touching them” or “can sense threat to oneself”, protagonist’s power is unfailingly perfect aim, which she uses to kill for the mob. i think maybe it was a marketing issue, because from the blurbs and so forth it seemed to be being sold as much more of a straight up and down fantasy noir, which is absolutely not what you’re getting. it’s extremely character-driven and thematically very concerned with passing, liminality, justice, ancestral trauma. i will say i didn’t care as much for the middle third, i thought dev’s narrative voice was not interesting, especially compared to phyllis or tamara. it’s…i don’t know, i think it’s interesting and it’s definitely something i’d enthusiastically recommend to other people but i just didn’t really click with it. maybe a prose issue, idk, it got kind of dense sometimes in a way that didn’t really work with the plot, imo.

the story of silence, alex myers: rating…i don’t know, i feel like it might be a book that’d improve on rereading, provisional three because i felt a bit disappointed. retelling of the roman de silence, a 13th century french poem about a lord who, due to inheritance law, raises his afab child silence as a boy and which i haven’t yet read (which might be one of the reasons it didn’t click, i couldn’t tell if/where myers was deviating from the story beyond the obvious change to the ending—in the poem, silence ends up married to the king; in the book, silence escapes that fate and the fate of being forcibly externally gendered in general). i think that probably its best strength is as a prose adaptation of the poem, because it definitely has the feel of, like, the better prose adaptations of arthurian poems (which this is, merlin is in it). but on its own i’m less sure; there’s not really a lot of character exploration. i’m gonna donate my copy because it’s a 400-page hardback and i don’t want to pay to send it home, i can get a paperback in the states.

wakenhyrst, michelle paver: two stars. oy. a very boring gothic horror with not enough horror and far too many diary entries from the main character’s terrible father. remarkably unsympathetic treatment of the housemaid who is being, frankly, sexually exploited by said father. also i felt like there were digs being taken at margery kempe, which is less serious but still annoyed me. paver really, really likes doing epistolary/diary-based horror—she did it in dark matter, which i did like—but these ones are just not well-done, the shift back and forth between them and the main character’s perspective doesn’t do much, and the horror—which as far as i can tell is the maybe-real ghost of the father’s sister who he let drown in the fen when they were kids coming back into the house—is just not given enough room to get really settled and also not really successfully integrated with the big spooky 15th century painting that’s also part of the whole thing somehow.

one-way street and other writings, walter benjamin, trans. j.a. underwood: three stars again? i don’t know; i think that a lot of it was very well-written / translated but i was missing the referents to actually engage with it. also i was really, really tired when i read the first two essays. i did like “one-way street,” it felt kind of like invisible cities in a way, and “hashish in marseille” was funny because like dude we’ve all been there, we’ve all been high and unable to stop staring at people’s faces. i think overall the things that i understood i liked but i didn’t understand as much as i wanted to.

the dunwich horror and other stories, h.p. lovecraft: three and a half, four, something in that neighborhood, graded to the lovecraft curve (a curve somehow squamous and rugose!). overall the stories were pretty well-selected—the dunwich horror is definitely one of his best, the thing on the doorstep is very interesting as a story, like, thematically; the dreams in the witch house didn’t work as well for me because it is kind of about a guy double-majoring in math and folklore too hard (and what the fuck is “non-euclidean calculus” anyway, howie), accidentally discovering teleportation, and then getting chased by a witch and and her half gef the mongoose / half vladislav cat familiar in the form of evil shapes, the lurking fear really dropped the ball at the end and is basically a dry run for the rats in the walls; i had no idea what was going on in hypnos, and the outsider is a decent sort of twilight zone-y tomato in the mirror couple of pages. i think really what i found most interesting about this collection is that it made it very clear to me that lovecraft was deeply, deeply obsessive about eugenics. which, i mean, i’d already known he had the ingredients for it (seething, all-consuming racism; classism of the “augh the inbred hillbillies!” type that was very foundational for american eugenics; his personal concern with / fear of hereditary mental illness; interest in what was in the 1920s cutting edge science) but i hadn’t quite put them together until looking at the dunwich horror and the lurking fear and their presentation of rural new englanders, combined with the, you know, his stuff about innsmouth (as always i say: THE FISH PEOPLE DID NOTHING WRONG) and the racist implications therein, which crops up in dunwich and in thing on the doorstep, the way all three are very, very concerned with genealogy / heredity… shouldn’t have taken me that long to figure it out. one thing i did like about the lurking fear was the moment when the narrator, atop the hill where the abandoned house of the ill-fortuned and vanished martense family stands, looks out over the plain and suddenly realizes that the weird earth mounds in the area are all radially emanating from that hill. it’s an actually effective spooky moment! i thought it was gonna be giant mole people! it isn’t, it’s the martense family having somehow managed in 100 years, through some really committed inbreeding, to devolve into weird voiceless subterranean cannibalistic hominids. boo.

[looongcat]

Ozmafia Thoughts

I posted a whole thing on my main but now that I’m using this blog for all things otome, I figured I would try to organize my thoughts because i have so many thoughts.

This is not spoiler free! But I try to label some of the major spoilers.

Caramia

Caramia is the don of the oz family, and it’s his duty to protect his territory, the people who live in his territory, and to sign papers for stuff? Man’s is always signing papers for mafia reasons :) I knew from the start that he would be my favourite. I just love a guy who’s nice. Call me basic, but I just love a man who wants me to be happy and takes cares of me? I love feeling like someone cares about me! He’s also a great cook, and who doesn’t love delicious food? Idk how to explain how I feel about caramia, I liked his personality but I didn’t love his story? I really felt like there was some distance between Caramia and Fuka, like he was in a whole nother world from her. Which you do get to chose whether she’s happy he’s in charge or like she feels lonely. I did however really liked his transfer routes. I did the axel to caramia transfer first, and I felt like it wasnt clear that they slept together, but after I did caramia to axel and I got hit with that axel CG! Anyways, I liked the transfer routes.

Kyrie

I knew I would hate this guy so much. I’m just not interested in a guy who’s a fucking tease. Like he openly admits that he likes it when you’re upset. Like I do not want that TYVM. I found him kinda tolerable in his transfer routes however, probably because he does have to try and make Fuka happy in order to get Fuka to break up with her boyfriend. He really said break up with your bf i’m bored! Also I felt it was kinda weird that he was paying for Fuka’s br*th*l visits. I think its kinda weird that he introduced her to it, and was like encouraging it. ESPECIALLY*** (major super duper spoiler here what will be censored lol) if he thought she was *****

I saw some people argue that he might not actually love fuka, but I think that one transfer route ending, kinda shows that he really does love her IYKYK. but i’m so sus about that ending where he becomes a dumbass, i really think this bitch is faking it! I do not believe him for a second!

Axel

I quite like Axel. I personally don’t mind when a guy is at this level of over protectiveness. Plus as I have mentioned, i just love it when a cold guy is soft for you. I absolutely adore that shit (like when he ask Fuka to treat him as an equal and drop the honorifics? that shit gets me T_T)  He also gets extremely jealous very easily, which becomes an area of conflict for him and Fuka and it is up to you whether you wanna forgive him or move onto another guy. Personally, I would forgive him. I would talk to him about it! But I could understand being in your first relationship and not being able to handle your emotions. I think Axel is quite sweet, and he just wants the best for fuka, which is cute.

Scarlet 

IDK how I feel about Scarlet, specifically the part where he straight up states he’s a minor! Like what’s up with that? Why couldn’t he be older? However, I did really enjoy his route. It’s super cute and slow burn-y and nothing romantic actually happens probably because he is a minor. Scarlet is kind, resourceful, caring lol. We always love a guy who’s trying his best to keep the peace among everyone, while still providing for his family.

His route also has a bit of plot. It shows what hamelin was like prior to a specific event that you learn about in robin hood. I dont have a specific order that I think this game should be played but it might be interesting to maybe play scarlet’s route after robin hood.

Caesar

As I’ve said before, I don’t mind a man who’s trynna kill me. Idk what’s up with that LOL. Well maybe I like how you can see them change from wanting to kill you to not...wanting to kill you. One thing I remember liking about Caesar was that he usually called you a woman, as opposed to a girl. Which made me feel a lot better, will elaborate more on that later. I think even though he stayed harsh to her the whole time, I liked how you could see he was slowly falling/becoming whipped for fuka. Like the comedy of him wearing that dumb cloak so y’all could watch the stars together. Or like him working at Soh’s restaurant because he had to earn the money, and not just take Soh’s money. Like I loved that! Plus the ending where he isn’t accepted but he keeps pulling dumb stunts just to see you is v cute lol.

Soh

Idk how to talk about Soh without major spoilers. Soh is so sweet. I like how he’s always striking up conversations with Fuka in all the routes, which is probably good for her, considering almost everyone else is pretty wary of her existence. I honestly liked his route and I guess that's all I can say.

*big spoilers* I know most people don’t like Soh, cause he’s the reason for all things bad LOL. Yes he’s using/deceiving Fuka the whole time, but its not like he drugged Fuka or kept Fuka captive lol. Like most of the time he’s trying to keep her safe, and trynna make her happy, even if its probably so he could gain her trust or something. I also feel like his route was kinda him giving up his grand plan, and wanting to run away and be happy with Fuka, which obviously doesnt happen. Idk i liked that he ultimately treated her right.

Pashet

What’s up with otome games giving you a girl option but not the option to actually romance the girl? Her route was fine, and the friendship that builds between Fuka and her is fine. Sorry that’s a little salty lol. I actually thought this route was really cute. I have my reservations about Fuka being in romantic relationships, so it actually was kinda nice to see her make an actual friend without catching feels. Female friendships are absolutely underrated and I’m glad Fuka was actually able to make a friend who is looking out for her best interest.

Hamelin

I usually try not to use kiss cgs but this is the only couple cg and I like using couple cgs. So sorry if this is spoiler-y to you. But how do I feel about Hamelin... you know what I very much liked him. His route is so short and it’s kinda a secret ending. In that sense his route is a little unsatisfying. It’s kinda unclear how Fuka could love him in that short amount of time... but she does. Hamelin is hard to describe because he’s so different in all the other routes. He’s kinda the main villain in most of the routes, aside from his own. You get to see a little bit more of his personality in Scarlet’s route. I genuinely think he is a good guy, and was trying his best! That’s all you can really ask of anyone right?

*slight spoiler* I’m so sad he didn’t get a redemption? You find out why he did the things that he did, and he just... doesn’t get anything? He like doesn't even appear? Just gone into the abyss. I wish Fuka and him could have gotten a happier ending, since their ending isn’t really... happy

Dr Crow

I do not like Robin Hood. Isn’t Robin Hood about stealing from the rich? Like... why is this man treating everyone the same? Why is this man even apart of the upper class? Okay to keep this brief and spoiler free lol. Dr. Crow here is the town’s doctor. He treats everyone the same regardless of what family they are from. In his eyes you are his patient and his goal is to heal you. He’s quite elegant and seems really dependable and then he hits you with some REDACTED

*spoiler & TW for drugging* Fuck this guy. I think what’s worse is that he did not have to drug fuka, she would have gone along with whatever he wanted probably. I’m guessing he did it so she would be in deep sleep. But still, ew gross. How you gonna love your wife and do that. This man is out for revenge and I dont like it.

Manboy/Dorian/Alfani

I barely like Manboy. Honestly I never heard of Dorian Gray before playing this so I was v confused (and if you heard of it then you probably will be more prepared than I was). I actually played this route really early on because i thought it might be funny. It is in fact not at all funny and I was not okay after finishing it. I am a little glad I got it out of the way though, if I left this for like last I would have been v upset and it probably would have ruined the game for me lol. I do kinda wanna replay the route now that I know about Dorian but idk.. i still hate this route so idk if I really will.

If you don’t know anything like me, this is the br*thel route. Manboy works there more as like a receptionist? Dorian Gray is the ringleader, and there’s Alfani who’s the male escort. Feel free to wikipedia Dorian Gray before trying this route. Not to spoil the story but TW you also get drugged in this route too.

Overall Thoughts

I feel lukewarm about ozmafia. In one aspect I like how each route was different and how the different endings actually like split off. I also enjoyed how there wasn’t necessarily a good ending and a bad ending, they were just different endings. Obviously in some routes, one ending is better than the other, and also in others neither endings are great lol. I also quite enjoyed the transfer routes, it felt different, innovative, like ozmafia really tried something there! And the replay ability, the game adds extra scenes that provide more insight towards what the love interest is thinking, which makes replaying to get the other endings very enjoyable. There also an extra scene before each ending, so you could also replay the same ending too. I really went into ozmafia with like zero expectations, and i was both surprised and underwhelmed? I dont think thats the right word.

*MAJOR SPOILERS* There’s this really great video essay called born sexy yesterday, that really explains why I felt slightly uneasy about the whole story. If you think about it Fuka has amnesia, she’s mentally a child but here she in engaging in adult activities with grown ass men ._. and I know I said I liked the transfer routes, but that was before I found out that Fuka is literally a 10 year old in an “adult” body. LIKE WHEN I SAW DOROTHY I WAS LIKE WHO TF LET THIS INFANT READ DORIAN GRAY? Anyways the fact that dorothy is literally like 10 years old, did not sit well with me. Yknow this story is about wizard of oz, so I did have a feeling Fuka was dorthy, BUT WHEN ISAW HER SPRITE, girl i had to look up dorthy’s age and apparently shes somewhere between 8 and 12. So, throughout the game it was a bit uncomfortable because I did feel like Fuka was mentally a child but I kinda justified it as well she lost her memories, so she’s a blank slate like a child, maybe she’ll mature up with memories but uhhh, that’s just not going to happen.

So there are my thoughts. I thought Ozmafia was really different from other otome games because of how each character got their own story, and the transfer routes felt so innovative, as well as adding the extra scenes in the second playthrough! But there’s some bad born sexy yesterday vibes that make me not okay with it. I would recommend the game though. There’s so much content, it took me like a week to finish it all. Plus the art is quite nice.