#and fuck you deshaun watson

[hearty-an0n]

best post this guy has ever made

[allpromarlo]

the epstein affiliate tore his achilles?

[willowsnook]

I would request whiskey with water in a copper mug 😅. Thank you .

lewis hamilton x athlete!reader

you're mine, end of discussion

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was no secret behind the scenes that you and Lewis Hamilton did not get along. For over a decade, your so-called "feud" had been well-known, and there seemed to be no end in sight. Despite that, the two of you always ended up working together. And every time, the chemistry in front of the camera was undeniable.

The first time you met was for a Tommy Hilfiger campaign. You'd done a few shoots before for brands like Nike and GymShark, but this one was different. The clash started during the planning meetings. Lewis wanted sleek, timeless shots, while you favored something more candid and authentic. You both bickered non-stop, much to everyone else’s dismay. But when the ads came out, they went viral. Anyone looking at the photos would think there was more than just tension between you.

That same friction lingered years later. Every brand that paired you two knew they were signing up for a headache, but the results were too good to pass up. It didn’t help that you found him self-absorbed, and he still saw you as an amateur. Over time, the fiery back-and-forth morphed into a frenemy dynamic—part irritation, part... something else.

So when you walked into the Dior conference room and spotted Lewis, it wasn’t a surprise. He wordlessly handed you a coffee as usual, and you nodded in thanks.

“We’re launching a Valentine’s Day fragrance,” the Dior rep began. “Lewis, you’ll be shooting solo. Y/n, you’ll be with Deshaun.”

Your stomach twisted when you saw Deshaun Watson—NFL star, grinning at you across the table. As the meeting wrapped, he lingered by the door.

“I can’t wait to get started, sweetheart,” Deshaun said, giving you a smirk that made your skin crawl. You tried to brush it off, but the comments didn’t stop.

For the entire shoot, Deshaun’s remarks were relentless. Whether about your body, your looks, or even how you supposedly gave him "fuck me eyes," he didn’t hold back. By the end of each day, you felt like you couldn’t scrub his touch off fast enough.

Lewis started noticing things—how you stiffened every time Deshaun whispered in your ear or how his grip on you seemed too tight. His usual jokes at your expense were no longer getting a reaction from you, and it didn’t take long for him to piece things together.

After the final shoot, you walked out of the dressing room to find Deshaun trying to make small talk with Lewis. His body language was tense, arms crossed. Deshaun spotted you and called out, “Y/n, we should celebrate. I’ve got a suite at the Four Seasons with a wicked view.”

You forced a smile, uncomfortable. “Thanks, but I think I’m good.”

He pressed on, “Come on, I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me.”

You laughed awkwardly. “It’s a Valentine’s shoot. I’m supposed to look like that.”

“Don’t play coy, you know it’s more than that. I’d love to see what that athletic stamina’s like in action.”

Before you could react, Lewis was in front of him, eyes flashing. “That’s enough. She said no.”

Deshaun scoffed. “What, she’s your little slut now?”

Before the word fully left his mouth, Lewis’ fist connected with his jaw. Chaos erupted. Security rushed in to separate the two as you grabbed Lewis and dragged him into the dressing room, heart racing.

“What the hell, Lewis?” you muttered, dabbing at the blood on his lip with a wet cloth.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice strained with frustration.

“Does it matter?” you sighed, tending to his bruised knuckles.

Lewis caught your wrist, his voice low and serious. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You met his gaze, suddenly overwhelmed by the intensity there. “Since when do you care? We’ve spent years yelling at each other.”

“Have I ever made you scared like that?” he demanded, his grip on your wrist gentle, but firm.

You shook your head. “No.”

“Then why didn’t you say something?” he pressed, his eyes locked on yours.

“Because I had it under control, I don't know why it's such a big deal—” You started, but he cut you off.

“You’re mine,” he said firmly. “End of discussion.”

You blinked at him, taken aback. “We’re not dating, Lewis.”

“I don’t care what you call it. I’m the one who gets to push your buttons, piss you off, make you feel something. No one else gets that privilege,” he said, voice gravelly with emotion.

“God, you’re insufferable,” you muttered, hands resting on his shoulders.

“Yeah, but you love it,” he smirked, and despite everything, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

Maybe he had a point.

[v6quewrlds]

Any predictions for the game versus the Browns this weekend?

Love your page and especially your most recent fic :)

okay a couple thoughts

fuck deshaun watson. it is truly remarkable how leagues, regardless of sport, not only actively empower degenerates to prey upon and access women, but he sucks ass too!! it's a massive failing on the NFL for continuing to allow him to play and only suspending him like 11 games for the assault and battery of 20 women???? TWENTY!! need him gone thank you.

the browns have basically given up this season lmao. so unless something crazy happens (defense is back to being inefficient or the offense's rythym is off again) i genuinely don't think the bengals have much to worry about. even though the browns' defense has been pretty decent, if the game has to be boring like the giants game, idc just give me a bengals win pls.

the bengals need ja'marr to show up this game. against the browns defense, i think joe is going to have to pass the ball more than running so as long as he can find ja'marr and tee consistently, they'll be fine.

on the part about watson being ass, the browns haven't scored above 18 this season so far... and the bengals have consistently put points on the board (ignoring the giants game bc that was odd lmao). so as long as the offense can make plays and score, they'll be alright.

if the bengals don't win this game, i think zac taylor will be out the door just like the jets hc.

[ecco2ecco]

I hate the way people talk about Stefon, like that shit makes me so fucking mad

#im not even playing, fuck the bill's fans who treat him like shit #none of you know the full fucking story and the whole assumption that josh allen isn't at fault is so fucking stupid #like fuck that #the fact that you'd rather stand behind a billion dollar business that has no vested interest the it's players is crazy to me #this shit is so heavily entrenched in race that it's crazy #it doesn't escape me that the whole 'diva wide receiver' stereotype is only ever attached to black wideouts #i swear it is #stef isn't faultless but it's ridiculous how people demonize him #especially in a league with people like fucking deshaun watson #lets be fucking serious

[uswnt5]

Did you see Deshaun Watson ruptured his Achilles and the fans in Cleveland were heard cheering 💀

Deserved though tbh

good! fuck that guy

[nina-iseri]

(cw for mentions of sexual violence )

but uh sorry to post about something so off topic for this blog and exposing my knowledge of american football but. deshaun fucking watson deserves to be put in fucking prison for life. and the fact that instead we have to watch him get a new $230 million contract, and sweep his sexual assault of literally *dozens* of women under the rug is fucking deplorable. like jesus fucking christ the nfl is a disgusting organization for so many things, but this is somehow makes everything else it does look saintly. like we’ve learned absolutely nothing from when the exact same shit happened to ben roethlisberger however long ago. but i mean obviously the nfl and it’s fans are perfectly fine with ignoring how many women you rape as long as you’re a good player and you make the league a lot of money. fucking hell man this world is fucked

[myforrest2]

Crack house

i see how mass shootings happen

deshaun Watson's tiktok

operation white coat

frumpy body girl. i'm shallow

mental health issues in my family

donte and white titties

molestor uncle

phone sniffin dogs . thanks kamala

china made a sun

goochland va powhite

white women fuck like bots

happy wife happy life

who got better pussy

brett griner

rape fantasies on reddit

racist AI. white people writing code

dont fuck the students at tsu

gaping asshole porn

levels to dv. neigbor got into a dv situation

you gotta be able to fight if ur abusive

country line dancing in 6th grade

growing up christian concervative

i never believed in covid

having nigerian friends

menopause is a funny concept (the last egg)

wish i dates white women cuz the swifties are out!

million white women march

taylor farrakhan

who decided at the meeting that they were selling bean pies

trans women get a taste of getting offended and cant handle

i want to tell trans jokes but everytime, my dick gets cut off

her tax dollars paid for me to do home invasions but she wanna tell me what i can say

id snort midol if i were a woman

3 months of period and 9 months off

the purge for periods 9 months of peace 3 months of chaos

asking about organic vagina new vagina

synthetic vagina vs vagina

dont stop believing can end racism

stacy abrams dresses like hillary clinton

gmo coochie

my red flags

levels to the horny. showin ur face on pornhub

porn on the family computer

first std test

did ur granny fuck wilt chamberlain

used to be a therapist but it got to be too stressful

happy husband happy marriage

how often do u suck his dick ladies?

church revivals coachella for church

part trans cuz circumcised

so easy to scam women wish i had the heart to do it

nothin brings pussy together likes some and scammin niggas

navigating life being objectified

i'm more than my period

women put u in risky situations

they put bombs in the trash

gotta do everything when u Black

being black is annoying

quantum leap

asians are dark skinned white people

disney couldnt find enough swimmin niggss for little mermaid

vasectmy b4 it was fashionable

slave bible

i go to switzerland

drake's bed is made of horse hair and stingray skin

spelman and cosby

relationship with bpd. she can only handle some of my personalities not all of them

cerebral palsey dude's wheelchair stole

cant wait for sex work to be uberred

prayer for the gay demons

y is it always the stud that gets pregnant

first vasectomy nutt

waited for coochies to freshen up before i ate them

prison rapes kept me out of prison

ex wife had two babies

jump started a period

my mom helped plan my dad's funeral

forrest gump had full blown aids in philadelphia

women LOVE subtitles

suicide by negro. saying nigger at the atl airport

gender reveals for intersex babies

karim juwani tossed her baby in woods wrapped in plastic four years ago

mom shaking babies

construction worker on fire took video

wife beater as wash rag neighbor got in dv

my cousins got basic ass white women

taliban dating show

wilt chamberlain

nutted on my own face once

didn't masturbate til i was in college

heroes dose of shrooms

if he buys you beyonce tickets

honey pack fuckin

trans people they treat caitlyn jenner like black people treat clarence thomas

ain't sucked a dick but sucked toes

i aint a gangst but done gangsta shit

the good molestation from my babysitter's daughter

bv pussy/yeasty pussy

my girl fuck wit me cuz i'm that nigga

i hate the white part of me that tells me what to do

price of chicken goin up

snorting midol

moms love reminding u of how many hours of labor they were in

abortion on a 10 year old rape victim doctot had a tatt off a coat hanger with trust women on it

my dad grew up without infoor plumbing

being able to uberize sex work. ordering a blow job on uber one

chinatown knockoff

white boy jumping off cruise ship

asians & blacks

molestation

disney movies

feeling obligated to jack off to porn i paid for

uber sex (sex work)

trans reparations

dating black women is an olympic sport

called the sex line on gmas phone

scammed by uber

MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC

patchy beard but got asshole hair

homeless whites & Asians

c* vid had people keeping count of death

getting old ( aunt marry droolin on herself)

men washing ass (water bottles to wash ass in iraq)

make the money make the rules

comedy humbles u

pandemic paychecks (ppp loan)

black woman will make or break u (cooked in an oven love)

fuckin bbws is awkward 4 me

american black women make me feel like im trans cuz they cut my dick off til i pull out that check

i rode the short bus to the talented and gifted classes

in tag i had to do extra

in tag it was nothing but white people, another brotha came in there and i said he must have had a mom that really cared about his education. i got punched in the stomach for it

get a trans friend cuz they will get reparations first. black people too disorganized

gotta trick your woman into giving u some pussy

i miss drugs

i'll get my dick back from my girl when i make money. i wont get all of it back cuz she's a black woman "niggas ain't shit"

arguin with my girl is worse than arguin with my mom. mom took away nintendo girl takes away pussy

i act like a woman when a woman leaves me. cuz i have ababdonment issues

Jim Crow needs to make a cameo appearance every 10 years to wake niggas up.

i don't cheat cuz i gotta use a condom

fovrite movie is forrest gump. sequal to forrest is philadelphia

i used to be a social worker but my dick stopped working so i had to quit

what's the wildest thing a woman has told you during sex?

love dont exist anymore. im gonna put my women on one year contracts

white name in black body

if i were a serial killer my victims would b homeless black women

carlee fucked it up for yall

i blew up a kid's face in iraq. i hope he becomes president so i can be part of his origin story

watching couples fuck

white people treat slavery like women treat accountability

alien pussy

be funny watchin my married potnas getting punked by their wives

sexxy red went to my highschool

Gilgo beach killer spaced out his white woman victims

I remember when I had to fake like Lizzo's music for some coochie. Oh the lies we men tell.

God is good all the time and all the time God is gooD

Coochie is pink booty hole brown

my skin is light but my comedy is dark

titties lookin right no lefts

If you could own slaves, how many would you have?

Those MAPs folks are jacking off to all the first day of school pics

kamala harris had an orgasm when the tory sentence came down

kelsey shot meg cuz women will shoot each other over the same dick

had a woman tell me she couldn't figure me out

women want to figure us out so they can control our minds

Glad they didn't call me a baby killer when i got back from Iraq

women that have had abortions got that fire

It was lookin like a baby holocaust when abortions were legal. I dated a woman that aborted 2 babies by the same dude. Those could have been 2 Amazon fulfillment workers.

these mew generation of parents have no control over their kids . cryin toddler in hawaii

i love watching kids act out in public . the parents look like they're trying to solve a calculus problem.

mom used basic math, pinching and threats

black women say shit that make u want to punch...... or shoot them. white women say shit that make u want to kill them

these hoes start talkin like chat gbt when you catch them on some bullshit

got evicted with a wife & 2 kids.

named my son after a member of jodeci but my bm swear she named him

serial killer my victims would be homeless black women

i want to date a non verbal autistic woman

ladies can you cover your ears during my set so we men could have a good time?

i wish black women would suck dick the way they suck the fun out the room

being part white is annoying cuz i got a gluten allergy

lake lanier pussy

jim crow day

how to keep a dude from raping u

white people fuck like bots

cub scout leader died so i didn't get molested

getting a black womans love is like trying to get a laugh from black folks

sex farms

pullin pussy with a telegraph machine

"come thru" in morse code

i'm not a conspiracy theorist i'm just a nigga that has never trusted the government

the holocaust was an inside job

how many niggas would black people sacrifice to get the jew treatment

chlamydia the reggie of stds

u know its fire when she burn u and u still wanna fuck

how many cows is your coochie worth

worst fears are heights, deep water & seeing my daughters titties on reddit

met an ethiopian bbw

tranny porn overstimulation

things that annoy me: fat niggas that ain't funny

student loans

dental damn

being black is a game of dodging diseases and gun violence

trump 2 real for black women they voted for a dude that don't take care of his responsibilities

glad i aint the uncle in the back room doin heroin

coochie after the club trick

low low low price of pussy

how i decide to go raw

men would have babies and not abortions cuz it would require us to go to the doctor

abuse is relative

dad was an aspiring preacher like an aspiring rapper

ai is the cotton jin

black womn patten for heater

giving homeless dick

field vs deployment

jail vs. prison

pregnancy test vasectomy

foreskins

drugs are for young boys

people with guns are scared bitches

lgbt DV do studs hit their girlfriends with their straps

post ops arr funnier than pre ops

dick losing a step

2% gay

- [ ]

pop art and anime

working for pussy

[brucebocchi]

oh btw i have reasons for every single one of these:

Cowboys/Dojima: Incapable of accepting that what they once loved will never return to them, forever indulging in escapism and unwilling to face what's in front of them

Giants/Mitsuru: Stodgy, from old money, completely unaware of how the world around them actually works in this day and age

Eagles/Haru: fuck da police

Commanders/Sumi: "You know, Senpai, the old name was actually a tribute to Native Americans, they never should've changed it, I'm gonna keep calling them the Re-"

Bears/Akechi: S U F F E R I N G (also this work by gimmie20dollas that has become my entire personality)

Lions/Kanji: Hard nosed, smash mouth football, duh (actually he thought the Hawaiian Blue color was super cute but he'd never tell you that)

Packers/Morgana: Zero innate understanding of how anything works outside of their own milieu, arrogance hiding insurmountable insecurities, I hope they both die

Vikings/Ann: It's a common headcanon that she's part Scandinavian, so this was an easy one. Just don't tell her about 1998

Falcons/Makoto: No matter the accolades, no matter the talent, no matter the devoted fanbase, both will always and forever be mid (I'm so sorry Makoto I love you)

Panthers/Yusuke: Prone to rash, irresponsible decisions that will leave them impoverished for ages to come; in desperate need of leadership

Saints/Sojiro: What is gumbo but Cajun curry?

Bucs/Ryuji: Pirates. I didn't think any further than that and neither did he

Cardinals/Futaba: Kyler Murray is a gamer and Futaba thinks that's swell

Rams/Rise: Glitz, glamor, and mortgaging your future for short term glory. It's the idol way

Niners/Naoto: Naoto saw that little man Brock Purdy rise to greatness and got gender envy. And what better place for that than San Francisco

Seahawks/Chie: Found out about the Legion of Boom a dozen years ago and thought it was the coolest shit ever

Bills/Yu: Exudes DGAF energy but barely beneath the surface is nothing but passion and loyalty. Also Bills fans all have sister complexes

Dolphins/Fuuka: As we all know, Fuuka has a deep compassion for her team and profound technical knowledge, but can't cook for shit. Just like having Mike McDaniel for a coach

Patriots/Akihiko: Much like the Brady/Belichick years Akihiko is defined by a borderline-psychotic infatuation with always improving, always staying on top, and always finding a made-up mental hurdle to climb. Also he just gives me New Englander vibes. He'd probably call you a slur

Jets/Yosuke: Much-deserved suffering.

Ravens/Ren: Much like the city of Baltimore, Ren gives off a goofy, theatrical vibe that can sometimes overshadow his innate toughness and loyalty. Unlike Ray Lewis, though, he doesn't deserve to have a criminal record

Bengals/Shinjiro: Hardscrabble, rough history, both barely surviving on meager funds

Browns/Teddie: He found out about Deshaun Watson and liked the cut of his jib

Steelers/Yukari: Always serviceable and more than a little mean, though clinging desperately to the past to avoid the pain of the present

Texans/Kawakami: A life of exhaustion, malaise, and zero forward momentum while drowning in debt is almost as depressing as having to be in Houston. Also I just really wanted to photoshop her with a Lone Star

Colts/Door-kun: Makoto doesn't care, and what better team to not care about than the Colts? Folks,

Jaguars/Junpei: Junpei is basically Jason Mendoza

Titans/Aigis: Technically sound, maybe, but wildly incompetent in most other regards. Titan Up, as they say

Broncos/Adachi: Years of abject mediocrity after trying to make something of yourself, desperately clawing to any shred of normalcy or relevance, would drive anyone to madness and sociopathy. Also Adachi is there

Chiefs/Yukiko: Red offensive powerhouses stick together, I guess. Definitely killed a guy

Raiders/Kotone: A yawning, bleak emptiness just beneath the surface. May have fans still, sure, but long forgotten by just about everyone else

Chargers/Zenkichi: Became a fan when they were in San Diego and has foregone all dignity to continue supporting them. Once again, a loved one escapes his life and he finds himself looking backward, chasing after a past that will never return to him.

Persona characters as football fans

this is my magnum opus

[insidelopesysmind]

as the NFL season approaches i would just like to take the time to say to Deshaun Watson, the Cleveland Browns’ organization and the NFL organization a big fuck you

if you are not aware of the situation surrounding Cleveland Browns’ new QB Deshaun Watson, let me fill you in a bit:

In March 2021, massage therapist Ashley Solis came forward and filed a claim of sexual misconduct against Watson. After Solis came forward another 23 - yes TWENTY THREE - women came forward and filed sexual misconduct lawsuits including 2 sexual assault lawsuits against the QB. In the cases of sexual assault it is said that Watson would force the massage therapists to perform oral intercourse on him and in one case grabbed a woman by her buttocks and vagina.

As NFL fans watched this situation unfold, many made the assumption that Watson’s days as an NFL player would be nothing short but over. But in the 2021-2022 season Watson was benched by the Houston Texans but was still a member of the organization and in March of this year he was traded to the Cleveland Browns. Upon his arrival the Cleveland Browns put out this statement..

Which to me just sounds like “We really don’t care that he’s tied to sexually assaulting dozens of women and also we hate women but we’re going to act like we care”

Anyways as a result of Watson’s trial that was held yesterday former federal judge Sue L. Robinson found Watson guilty of violating the personal conduct policy and suspended him ONLY SIX GAMES. TWO DOZEN SEXUAL MISCONDUCT/ASSAULT LAWSUITS AND ONLY SUSPENDED SIX GAMES

For context, let’s go through a list of player suspensions for some insignificant offenses:

- Atlanta Falcons WR Calvin Ridley: suspended at least an entire season for betting money on games he had no involvement in.

- Kansas City WR Josh Gordon was suspended 78 games for smoking marijuana

- Arizona Cardinals WR Deandre Hopkins: suspended 6 games for using PEDs

- Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB Tom Brady: suspended 4 games for under inflated footballs

Although these suspensions may be valid in terms of some of the NFL’s policies. Once you see the suspensions I’m about to mention you’ll understand why I call those offenses “insignificant”

- Former Baltimore Ravens RB Ray Rice: suspended 2 games for domestic violence toward his fiancé

- Former NFL RB Adrian Peterson: suspended 6 games after being arrested for felony child abuse

- Former Carolina Panthers DE Greg Hardy: had his suspension lowered from 10 games to 4 after assaulting his girlfriend at the time

- Dallas Cowboys RB Ezekiel Elliot: suspended 6 games for hitting women

- Former St. Louis Rams DE Leonard Little: suspended 8 games after committing vehicular homicide

- Former NFL WR Donte Stallworth: suspended 16 games after committing DUI Manslaughter

- Las Vegas Raiders WR Henry Ruggs III: charged with DUI resulting in death and has yet to be handed a penalty by the NFL

There are other cases and suspensions like this but I think you guys get the jist.

I am so sick and tired of these athletes getting away with these crimes just because of who they are and their status. It’s not fair that they get to ruin other people’s lives just to go about living their lives like nothing happened while leaving the victims to deal with the trauma. It’s time that the NFL and other sports organizations step up and hold these players accountable and ban them from playing in these leagues. Letting these athletes keep playing after committing these crimes sends the message to the young kids and anybody who watches those leagues that the crimes these men commit aren’t that serious and that there aren’t serious consequences for these actions. This could potentially switch the mentality of many young men to a very dangerous one.

As a young woman who enjoys the NFL and other sports it genuinely upsets and scares me how easily these athletes get off after committing these very serious crimes. It really goes to show how much these organizations don’t give a shit about women or any other minority or anyone/anything else in the sports world other than themselves and their pockets. It seems as though these leagues and athletes don’t care who gets hurt in the process as long as they get paid in the end. It’s truly sickening and terrifying to see what this world has come to.

[edie-k]

Legally Ginger: Chapter 13/13 “Any Cosmo Girl Would Have Known”

Summary: Vic’s trial concludes and so does this story.

Thank you to all of you that have commented and showed me love and encouragement!

Thank you to @adenei, who was always patient and helpful, even when I handed her a pile of shit. And thank you to @accio-broom for her extra eyes and confidence boost.

I’m not feeling particularly warm to an organization that’s referenced in this chapter today so in honor of this story ending, please send up a big “Fuck Deshaun Watson.”

Since I already gave the preview, let’s get to it!

Chapter 13 can be read here.

You don’t read anything until it’s complete? Time to start!

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 11 Extravapalooza

Holy moly, we’ve already made it to Week 11. I’m honestly conflicted over whether or not this is a good thing. In terms of basic pandemic mitigation practices, the NFL conducting its season is fucking insane. These guys are all well-compensated pros, but they’re still taking risks well above and beyond what they normally do, and I truly feel pretty shitty about that. In addition, the fact that some stadiums are allowing thousands of fans inside during games is a crime against humanity, and it really lays bare how craven and sociopathic the ghouls who own sports franchises are. 

With that said, it’s extremely hypocritical of me to be so disdainful of the NFL’s current existence, since I watch the games, set my fantasy lineup, and generally enjoy all the stuff that comes with an NFL season. I usually bristle and roll my eyes whenever a sporting entity trots out the whole “We feel like we’re helping society by providing a distraction from everything going on” line, but in this case, with where we are right now as a country...the NFL really is doing that. For me, anyway. Is the stress-relief that the NFL provides to me and millions of other people worth all the bad stuff that comes with it? I don’t know. Probably not. But, I’d be lying if I said I’m not thankful that it’s there.

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today.

EARLY GAMES

Tennessee Titans at Baltimore Ravens (-6)

It’s odd to have a game between a pair of 6-3 teams widely considered contenders that feels like a “must win” for each scuffling side. A great man once said “Desperation is a stinky cologne,” and the Titans absolutely reek coming into this one, so I’m giving them the edge. Baltimore being down two starting defensive linemen when Derrick Henry comes to town also factors into my pick, but nobody wants to hear that nerd shit, gotta go with my GUT, baby!

Philadelphia Eagles at Cleveland Browns (-2.5)

Hey, Cleveland doesn’t have to play in the middle of a tornado this week! There will still be driving rains, though. Fortunately, the Browns are built for the slop. RBs Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt are both ridiculous, but I’d like to give a special shoutout to G Wyatt Teller, who is currently Pro Football Focus’ highest-graded player...in the entire NFL. That’s some grade A beef! DE and straight-up superhuman Myles Garrett is out for this one, which is an enormous blow for the Cleveland defense. If I had any confidence whatsoever in Carson Wentz I’d think about taking Philly, but that young man is a mess.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-10.5) at Jacksonville Jaguars

I’m once again betting on the Steelers playing down to the level of their competition. The Jags kept things close against the Packers last week, there’s fight in them thar cats.

Cincinnati Bengals at Washington Football Team (-1.5)

I’m still extremely nervous for Alex Smith the entire time he’s on the field, but I have to admit there’s something magical about him making it all the way back to being exactly as Alex Smith-y as he was before (minus the scrambling ability, obviously). Washington RB J.D. McKissic has 16(!) catches on 29(!!) targets over the two games Smith has started. If this continues J.D. is going to owe Alex a cut of his next contract, and possibly the mineral rights to his legs if the need arises.

Today is Cincy RB Gio Bernard’s birthday, so LOOK OUT LADIES!

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints (-3.5)

I’m making this pick based on the assumption that New Orleans really does roll with Taysom Hill at QB for the entire game, because that’s what all currently available information indicates will happen. I really do wonder if that’s going to be the case, though. I’ve read a couple of things speculating that the reason Hill is starting is that if Jameis plays he’s likely to reach various incentive clauses in his contract and cost the Saints a bunch of money. That seems utterly ridiculous to me, because why the hell would you bother signing him at all if this is how you were gonna roll? Then again, I’m not a Football Man, so maybe my un-browned normie brain just doesn’t understand.

Detroit Lions (-3) at Carolina Panthers

CATFIGHT!!!

The Lions are the orange kitty in this scenario, because Matthew Stafford will be playing through a torn thumb while not having WR Kenny Golladay or RB D’Andre Swift at his disposal. 

New England Patriots (-2) at Houston Texans

The concept of an “emotional hedge,” first introduced to me by RTARL commenter Beer, is in play here. I have NO idea if the Patriots are actually decent or not, and this has all the makings of a letdown game coming off of their unexpected win over Baltimore. Reigning Defensive Player of the Year Stephon Gilmore is expected to be back for the Pats in this one, which is very nice. RB Sony Michel is also likely coming back, which could muddy the backfield and take touches away from Damien Harris, which is less nice. 

The Patriots have an atrocious rush defense, but Houston’s primary RB, Duke Johnson, is far better as a receiver than as a straight-up runner, so I’m not sure they can take advantage all that much. In addition, Duke’s receiving skills are mostly squandered because QB DeShaun Watson hates checking down and seemingly prefers to take sacks while looking for throws downfield instead. Wait, why the hell am I picking Houston here??? Is this what hedging is? I don’t like it!

LATE GAMES

New York Jets at Los Angeles Chargers (-9.5)

It feels weird to lay 9.5 points with a 2-7 team, but such is the power of the Jets’ ineptitude. To New York’s credit, they were competitive in two of their last three games (against NE and BUF), but those two games were sandwiched around a 35-9 beatdown at the hands of Kansas City. We would all feel better if the cool, young Chargers steamrolled these sad sacks in a joyous explosion of big plays, and this pick is my attempt at speaking it into existence. 

Miami Dolphins (-3.5) at Denver Broncos

I don’t know why I have an affinity for Drew Lock, but I do. He probably appeals to the same part of my brain that delights in terrible movies and horrible jokes, which is the most backhanded compliment I have ever given anyone in my entire life. Drew's gonna tough it out and try to play through a rib injury this week, which is gutty and admirable and all that, but I can’t imagine it’s going to help his already shaky accuracy.

Green Bay Packers at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5)

The Packers are getting their best defensive player back in CB Jaire Alexander, which will make life more difficult for increasingly-noodle-armed Colts QB Philip Rivers. Conversely, Indy’s defense is among the best in the league, so I don’t really see a carnival of offense coming from the Packers, either. Honestly, this should be a close, well-played game between two exceedingly competent squads. The kind of game where there will be long stretches where nothing major happens, but you can point out random shit that happens away from the ball and talk about line play and really sound like you know what the fuck you’re talking about. A tremendous game for fraudulent football-knowers everywhere.

Dallas Cowboys at Minnesota Vikings (-7)

It would be an INCREDIBLY Vikings move to lose this game outright. The return of Andy Dalton is being treated like it’s something that’ll get the Cowboys somewhat back on track, but prior to his injury he looked like crap, so I don’t really know where that’s coming from. Also, while he was out with a concussion he had a bout with COVID-19 that “hit him hard.” It’s tough for me to imagine he’s going to play BETTER coming out of what sounds like a truly shitty few weeks.

SNF: Kansas City Chiefs (-7.5) at Las Vegas Raiders

A lot has been made about how pissed Kansas City is about the Raiders taking a supposed “victory lap” in their team bus around the Arrowhead parking lot after their win over the Chiefs earlier in the season, and I’m choosing to completely buy into this narrative because it’s fucking hilarious. If K.C. has already reached the “needing to exaggerate/outright invent slights to get up for regular season games against inferior opponents” portion of their reign, we’re in great shape for entertainment purposes going forward.

MNF: Los Angeles Rams at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-4)

I don’t remotely trust Jared Goff against Tampa Bay’s defense. I do think this is probably our SMASHMOUTH NOSEBLEED GRIND IT OUT Game of the Week, and I can already see Tom Brady screaming at his offensive linemen at some point after he gets popped a couple of times during a single possession. Should be fun!

Last Week’s Record: 7-5-1

Season Record: 65-68-5

[thesportssoundoff]

A Dumb Draft Exercise

It's a Friday night and we're all locked in so I decided to do something a touch different. I took the current NFL draft order and then looked up the last five NFL drafts (2015-2019) to see who was picked at spots. Using the teams as they stand after one long (and it feels it) week of free agency, I picked ONE player selected at that set position to try and do a retro draft. Each team picked ONE player picked over the last five years at that specific spot (so at 1 overall, you could only draft 1st overall). How different would your favorite team look? Welll.....

1. Cincinnati- QB Kyler Murray (2019)

The first round picks of the past five years consist of four QBs (Jameis Winston, Jared Goff, Baker Mayfield and Murray) alongside premiere edge rusher Myles Garrett. As is often the case with top pick QBs tasked with saving bad franchises, each becomes less and less attractive as the years go by and they hit the ceiling of "damn good but not quite franchise saver" over and over. I went with Murray because while I think Goff is vastly underrated by most fans, Murray's got the ability and personality to drastically change an organization that feels like it's been hankering for a chance over the past five years. Murray was one of the NFL's brightest stars last year and figures to only improve, especially if you put him under the watchful gaze of an offensive guru (of sorts) in Zac Taylor.

2. Washington- DE Nick Bosa (2019)

Was REALLY torn with Carson Wentz and Nick Bosa for the Redskins. There's a lot of dead-ish weight here with Mitch Trubisky and Marcus Mariota and while Saquon may be the best player in theory, no team needs to take a running back in the top 5 (or in the first round at all). Assuming the Redskins are truly comfortable with Dwayne Haskins then taking Nick Bosa and pairing him up in the front four along with the likes of Montez Sweat, Matt Ionidis and Daron Payne would probably be a formidable ass crew.  Basically the Chase Young strategy.

3. Detroit- DE Joey Bosa (2016)

How about the Bosa Bros going back to back! One would assume tht if the Lions wanted a QB, they're GOING to have their pick of the proverbial litter on the back end. After all after Cincy, they'll have Tua, Herbert and Love at their disposal if taking a QB so amuses them. Instead operating under the belief that the Lions feel comfortable with Stafford for MAYBE one more year, it leaves us to choose from Joey Bosa, Solomon Thomas and Dante Fowler. Bosa is likely on his way to a multiple pro bowl career while Thomas may just grade out as average and Fowler is on his third team now. Easy choice if ya ask me.

4. NY Giants- WR Amari Cooper (2015)

The Giants would be picking from a variety of offensive players; two of which are current Dallas Cowboys. You have Amari Cooper, Zeke Elliott, Leonard Fournette on offense and then Denzel Ward at cornerback as pretty much your only other option. Give me Amari Cooper as he'd immediately step in and make an offense consisting of Daniel Jones, Barkley, Golden Tate and a two tight end threat of Evan Engram and Kaden Smith a pretty damn formidable one.

5. Miami- OLB Bradley Chubb (2018)

This WOULD be easy in theory. Cornerback Jalen Ramsey would've been a FINE choice here but the Dolphins have Xavien Howard and Byron Jones on the back end. With Jalen Ramsey out of the picture, you have an interesting linebacker in Devin White, a superb guard in Brandon Scherff and my selection Bradley Chubb. With so much locked in on the defense, Chubb (if healthy) steps in as an immediate premiere pass rusher. Barely edges out Brandon Scherff. BARELY.

6. LA Chargers- OG Quinton Nelson (2018)

Man! The Chargers would have their glut of talent to choose from if they so desired. Want an elite strong safety? Jamal Adams was picked 6th in 2018. Want a QB to groom and develop? Daniel Jones went here in 2019. If you want a flexible havoc inducing DL piece? Leonard Williams in 2015 went 6th overall. Ronnie Stanley is a pretty damn good tackle as well.  Quinton Nelson is a top 3 guard in just two seasons and figures to continue to improve. It's not a premiere position for a lot of people but Nelson bucks the trend.

7. Carolina- QB Josh Allen (2018)

Funny bit? We have two Josh Allens here as Josh Allen from Wyoming and Josh Allen from Kentucky both went 7th overall. Both would be tremendous picks given the Panthers needs (an elite edge or a QB). Deforest Buckner finally hit on his potential and got paid paid for it as well, fitting in interestingly here as a potential flexible front line piece. The Panthers just paid Teddy Bridgewater relatively big time money but if you have the chance to take a really athletic strong armed QB who has shown strides in two seasons, you should do it. Imagine Allen throwing it to the likes of DJ Moore and Christian McCaffery.

8. Arizona- RB Christian McCaffery (2017)

THIS one was hard given the lack of obvious options. Do you need more receiving options? If so TE TJ Hockenson was picked 8th. Christian McCaffery is probably the best player at this spot but again, running backs and top 10s and etc etc etc. Nuke Hopkins, Larry Fitzgerald and Christian Kirk are on paper a superb trio of WRs and you also have Kenyan Drake at RB. Vic Beasley is a good pass rusher who has sort of lost his way as a player (hence the one year prove it deal). Give me McCaffery I guess. I think he'd do wonders in Kingbsury's offense and I suppose you can make he and Drake work together. That's why head coaches get paid.

9. Jacksonville- OT Mike McGlinchey (2018)

There's not a lot of obvious fits for a tanking team like the Jaguars. DT Ed Oliver would be intriguing but I have no idea how he fits in with the Jaguars defense. The likes of Leonard Floyd (recently released), Ereck Flowers (failed tackle turned kinda failed guard), John Ross (oft injured speedster) are other options. Lastly there's Mike McGlinchey who was starting at right tackle for the Super Bowl 49ers. The Jaguars have spent picks at both tackle spots but McGlinchey is better.

10. Cleveland- QB Patrick Mahomes (2017)

Fuck. Would the Browns even with Baker Mayfield flirt with taking Patrick Mahomes? Who cares. Mayfield can be traded. If you have the chance to grab the best QB in the NFL, you do it. Easy peasy.

11. NY Jets- CB Marshon Lattimore (2016)

This one came down to Lattimore or Minkah Fitzpatrick. Fitzpatrick can do so much across a secondary and his swiss army knife toolset was amplified in a Pittsburgh secondary that left to his devices where he could roam free and fuck shit up. On the other hand, Marshon Lattimore represents one of the NFL's rare commodities; a star shutdown cornerback. Plus with Marcus Maye and Jamal Adams tie up the safety spots pretty well.

12. Las Vegas- QB Deshaun Watson (2017)

The Raiders are openly flirtatious with moving on from Derek Carr. Deshaun Watson would step in and be a massive upgrade. There's also not much here either given how 90% of the players are DL and the Raiders have plenty of names and faces they like there. Maxx Crosby, Maliek Collins, John Hankins and Clelin Ferrell to name a few.

13. San Francisco f/IND- OG Laremy Tunsil (2016)

Take the 49ers OL with Joe Staley, Mike McGlinchey and Laken Tomlinson and then slide in Laremy Tunsil at RG. That's an absurd OL. There also weren't many options to really delve into either depending on how you feel about Da'Ron Payne and Vita Vea.

14. Tampa Bay- DE Marcus Davenport (2018)

Pick 14 over the past five years is a bit of a dry spell unfortunately. The best player on the list is DeVante Parker and the Bucs clearly have a collection of damn good WRs. Shaq Barrett and JPP are in place for 2020 but could the Bucs use Davenport as a third rusher and move him inside on pass rush downs. Not a lot of good ideas here unfortunately.

15. Denver- RB Melvin Gordon (2015)

Easy peasy! I mean Denver just signed him! That's a bit of a cheapie but let's keep with it. Gordon fitshere (and nobody else does).

16. Atlanta- LB Tremaine Edmunds (2018)

Edmunds with Deion Jones? Sign me up! The only other option that makes sense here is Marlon Humphrey at corner which would be an equally fine pick.

17. Dallas- S Derwin James (2018)

Given that Arik Armstead and John Allen would be 3-technique types in this defense, it makes sense we would ONCE again look at the safety market! Yay! The Cowboys scheme in 2018 apparently didn't like Derwin James as much as the media thought they did but this is a brand new scheme and a new way to play. Derwin James would edge out Keanu Neal (who BTW when healthy is an amazing safety) by virtue of being more of the chess piece the Cowboys need.

18. Miami f/PIT- C Ryan Kelly (2017)

Again there's a glut of corners here but the Dolphins have their fair share. As such, turn your attention over to a glut of centers---who they also just signed a guy for. Ryan Kelly is a pro bowl center though and you can make exceptions for that.

19. Las Vegas f/CHI- LB Leighton Vander-Esch (2018)

One of the better linebackers in the NFL prior to his neck injury, LVE was a friggin' elite athlete who could still redefine what NFL linebackers look like. His defensive coordinator is there as well (as the DL coach) and I bet Gruden would love his leadership and his ability as an off ball linebacker. This one is easy enough.

20. Jacksonville f/LAR- TE Noah Fant (2019)

The Jaguars are in the midst of a rebuild of sorts but unfortunately there's no immediate building block pieces at 20. It came down to Frank Ragnow (a versatile OL with upside) or Noah Fant and I opted for tight end Noah Fant since Minshew could use a reliable safety blanket. Assuming Fant can control his drops of course.

21. Philadelphia- WR Will Fuller (2016)

The Eagles could REALLY use some targets for Carson Wentz. Last year in clutch games they were relying on JJ Arceaga-Whiteside and Boston Scott for targets outside of their tight ends. Wouldn't have a problem going with FS Darnell Savage either who also went at 21.

22. Minnesota f/BUF- DE Bud Dupree (2015)

I don't know if the Vikings NEED an edge but even if they don't, there's really no options here. Josh Doctson was a flop in Washington, Charles Harris was a flop in Miami, Rashaan Evans plays the same spot as their glut of damn good linebackers and Andre Dillard is an unproven tackle for Philly to this point. Hit or miss here.

23. New England- Isaiah Wynn (2018)

I mean they drafted him here. Easy enough. Although would they take TE Evan Engram all things being equal?

24. New Orleans- WR DJ Moore (2018)

The Saints did grab Emmanuel Sanders but DJ Moore, Sanders and Michael Thomas is a whole different world of WR depth. There's also pretty much nobody else here worthy of snagging either.

25. Minnesota- WR Marquise Brown (2019)

HOLLYWOOD! The Vikings just traded away Stefon Diggs and could use an infusion of playmaker at their WR spot to help assist their TE room, Dalvin Cook and Adam Thielen. Marquise Brown would give Kirk Cousins a souped up version of Jamison Crowder; a WR-3 he relied heavily on in Washington.

26. Miami f/HOU- DE Montez Sweat (2019)

So the Dolphins have signed a lot of DE and we also gave them Bradley Chubb earlier BUT Montez Sweat is going to terrorize the NFL for the next 5-10 years and so he and Chubb combined? That's big time pass rush. Also, again, not much to really select from here either.

27. Seattle- CB Byron Jones (2015)

If you drew up a make and model for a Seahawks DB? It looks like Byron Jones. Byron just got paid big time money by Miami It's Byron vs Tre White and Byron fits the mold a bit better. Could also see Seattle liking Kenny Clark. Lots of good defensive players at 27.

28. Baltimore- OG Laken Tomlinson (2015)

Let Tomlinson battle it out with the interior OL the Ravens have currently. There's really not much here, it's either Tomlinson or DT Jerry Tillery.

29. Tennessee- TE David Njoku (2017)

Funny story, the 2016 1st round pick here was forfeited via deflategate. With just four names to choose from (and not really much to talk about either way), the Titans take David Njoku. Njoku has struggled with his role in Cleveland and the Titans do have some solid tight ends already in place but Njoku would be a pretty nice flier. Most of the guys here at 29 are just not good unless you're a Taven Bryan truther.

30. Green Bay- LB TJ Watt (2017)

And Cowboys fans across the globe shudder in horror. Yes, the Packers have two really good DEs in the Smith brothers. There's nobody else here who comes remotely close to the pure value TJ Watt has. Let him rush from the left side and rack up the sacks. You can figure it out somehow I figure. Let Preston Smith play 3-tech or something!

31. San Francisco- LB Reuben Foster (2017)

On one hand, the less said about Foster the better. On the other, there's really nobody else here who would come close. Unless you're a Germaine Ifedi fan?

32. Kansas City- DT Malcolm Brown (2015)

For any other team in any other league, this is Lamar Jackson. The Chiefs are really set at QB for the next 10-15 years so we'll have to take a pass. Instead Malcolm Brown is pretty much the only other really good value play. Big thumpy 1-tech/nose tackles are usually found later on in the draft but Brown is a good one and the Chiefs truthfully don't need much else either.

[thebestevers]

CONTRACT EXTENSIONS

Z Express has resigned Michael Thomas, Alvin Kamara, and Mike Evans to 4 year contracts.  Thomas $14.55M in 2019 and $8,083,333 in 2020, 2021, and 2022.  Kamara $14.1M in 2019 and $7,833,333 in 2020, 2021, and 2022.  Evans $13.875M in 2019 and $7,708,333 in 2020, 2021, and 2022

12 > 4 has resigned Jimmy G to a 5 year $52 million extension, Robbie Anderson to 5 year deal for $17M, Chris Carson 4 years $13M, Antonio Brown 3 years $26M, Mark Ingram 3 years $12M, Corey Clement 3 years $3M, and Adam Humphrie, Cameron Brate, Jake Kumerov and Cole Beasley for 2 years $2M.

JBones Gonna Kill It has resigned Rusell Wilson to a 3 year extension worth $46.5M and QB Carson Wentz to a 3 year deal worth $45M, Julio Jones for 3 years $26.4M, Adam Theilen for 2 years $16.4M and Duke Johnson 2 years $2M.

J Fu’s Fuck Up has resigned franchise QB Jared Goff to a 6 year extension worth $87M, Zeke Elliott to a 6 year deal worth $57.6M, Saquan Barkley for 6 years $48M, Tyler Boyd for 4 years $21.4M, Amari Cooper 3 years $26.8M, Aaron Jones 3 years $13M, Eric Ebron 3 years $20.5M, Julian Edelman 3 years $7.05M and Dez Bryant 2 years $2M.

The 2-time defending champions Lone Rangers have resigned Todd Gurley to a 5 year $43 million deal ($10.6M in 2019 and $8.1M the remaining years), Aaron Rodgers for 3 years $48 million ($21M in 2019, $13.5M the other 2 years), Travis Kelce 3 years $30 million, Stefon Diggs 3 years $26 million, Jarvis Landry 2 years $12.5 million, Kenyon Drake 2 years $5.6 million, Geronimo Allison and John Brown for 2 years $2 million

New Berlin Packers have exercised the 4th year rookie option on Jamal Williams, and have resigned Dak Prescott to a 4 year $54 million extension, Sam Darnold to a 4 year $41 million extension, Matt Ryan to a 3 year $33 million extension, Chester Rogers to a 2 year $2 million extension, and CJ Uzomah to a 2 year $2 million deal.

Aaron Rodgers Prime resigned Deshaun Watson to a 5 year $72 million deal, paying $21.6M in 2019 and 2020, $14.5 in 2021, and $7.2M in 2022 and 2023

Matthew Berry’s Bald Spot has resigned star QB Baker Mayfield to a 5 year contract worth $53M, Leonard Fournette for 5 years $31M, Tyreek Hill 5 years $26M, Ronald Jones 5 years $14.6M, Anthony Miller 5 years $13.1M, Keke Coutee 4 years $7M, David Johnson 3 years $25.2M, Tevin Coleman 3 years $13.2M, Kareem Hunt 3 years $11.4M, Chris Godwin 3 years $15M, Sterling Shepard 3 years $11.5M, Will Fuller 2 years $8.9, Adrian Peterson 2 years $2M, AJ Green 1 year $7.75M and Larry Fitzgerald 1 year at $1M.  All contracts flat and consistent over the course of the deals.

Gronk You resign Melvin Gordon for 2 years $18.4M (Sep 1).  And Brandon Cooks to a 5 year deal worth $41.75M with $11M to be paid in 2019 and 2020, $10M in 2021, $5M in 2022 and $4.75M in 2023.  They also resign Zach Ertz to a 4 year $37.2M deal, with $13.1M to be paid in 2019 and 2020, $5.5M in 2021 and 2022.  And they resigned James white for 2 years $7.6M with $4.5M in 2019 and $3.1 in 2020.  They also resigned Tyler Lockett to a 3 year $14.7M deal paying $7M in 2019, $4.7M in 2020 and $3M in 2021 (July 27).  And resigned Jameis Winston to a 4 year $46 M extensions with a salay in 2019 of $17.25, $16M in 2020, $5.75M in 2021 and $7M in 2022 (July 26)

Darth Radar resigned JuJu Smith-Schuster to a 5 year deal worth $38M with a frontloaded salary in 2019 for $11.58M and the remaining years $6.755M (July 25)

SS Minnow resigned Calvin Ridley to a 5 year deal worth $24.6M (July 23) front loaded paying him $7,405,188 in 2019 and 2020, and $3,291,195  the last 3 years.  They also resigned Josh Doctson and Chris Thompson for 3 years $3M and Dallas Goedert for 3 years $8.5M, with $4.25M in 2019 and $2.125 in 2020 and 2021.  And resigned Devonta Freeman for 3 years, with $8.7M in 2019, and $4.35M in 2020 and 2021. (August 22)

15 > 18 has resigned DeAndre Hopkins and Odell Beckham to 5 year deals for $50M, and Joe Mixon and George Kittle to 5 year deals for about $39M.  And Austin Ekeler to a 4 year deal worth the minimum and Marquez Valdez-Scantling to a 4 year deal worth $5.2M. (July 23)  And Cam Newton 2 years $28M, $19M in 2019 and $9M in 2020 (Sep 5)

[ynullingar]

Idk can the Browns organization do fucking something. Y’all suck ass and don’t even care. I don’t even care what gets done to be honest but do fucking something and I’m done hearing these assholes who think two weeks from now we are gonna have a big turn around because of Deshaun Watson. Like if you really believe a dude who hasn’t played football in like two years is going to be our savior you’re delusional as hell. Idk why I even continue to watch. I have been disappointed for 22 years. Same shit every game too which is why I never watch the press conferences anymore because bum ass Kevin Stefanski says the same shit every week.

[wwwdlabrie]

I knew better but I made the wrong decision. Met up with with this IG model who hit my Dm asking if I could get her some film roles & after her massage appt. w/ deshaun watson she rubbed my back and decided to spin again, then her and 22 thots set me up and rushed the stage at my show in Gurbenheim near Aponginstal Her and my ex FROM BOSTON got me for Hella shit and we was close to getting a major bag. We had some photo shoots lined up with Foolio and was Working on a Gorilla Fruit strain. Now she back in Ukraine and took all my weapons but fuck all dat I stand on biz I'm big steppin. My cousin finna slide and slap a bum like Oscar the grouch! I was feeling her and tricked on her and her kids at Mount Rushmore, but that just shows you can't just get any ol stripper named April pregnant and expect her and her husband to be honest about their incest. Now I'm paying more child support then Ye & Dre combined. I guess I'm done with rap cuz that food slap on Slime bruh. I still miss her but now I'm entangled w YB #Summertime #yousawmyblinkerbitch #parentsjustdontunderstand #nightmareonmystreet #boomboomshaketheroom #wildwildwest #gettinjiggywitit #welcometomiami #DLabrie #MrNETW3RK #RonDavouxRecords (at Lost Hills, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb2NjCeLh3x/?utm_medium=tumblr