#and frankly. im only confident i can pass 3 maybe 4 of them
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cimicherrychanga · 2 years ago
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SO fucked up that when u study languages they also make u study architecture history and ant biology and economy and european politics hierarchy so by the end of the semester i still cant tie a proper sentence in any language but sure i can differentiate the neo gothic style from rococo or tell you what a bull market is
#shut up dave#im tired im tired im tired i dont care abt any of this#i mean i do enjoy architecture and art periods. i dont want to be required to know all of them#i have an exam tomorrow and one on sunday and one on wednesday and one on next saturday#then on monday and tuesday and the following saturday and monday too#and frankly. im only confident i can pass 3 maybe 4 of them#for the rest??? idk ill need to study and im very bad at that#but hey we got the grades back from the first exam!! the one i took last week and i got a 9 yippeee#that is out of 10#it was in german interpreting n like. genuinely. im good enough at consecutive interpreting that i dont think theres a way 4 me to fail#like even if i mess it up i cant do THAT bad#i had to do it 4 english today and i think i fucked up sooo big it was so embarrassing. but then we got to the critique of my performance#and. it was all the usual nitpicks? like few word choices#the occasional discordance with adjectival conjugation. few points that 'havent clearly come across'#in my mind i had missed like a whole half of the speech but apparently it was p good still#now the problem is. same prof who teaches that subject also teaches specialized languages#and im. very bad at that one for simple reason that i have not processed any information all year#um maybe next time dont make your class about the stock market? idk just a suggestion. i dont care for wallstreet or whatever.#tho to b fair i didnt care for the european parliament last year either so ig u just cant win me on those terms#but if we get to specializing on the judiciary field i think i wouldnt be able to keep ignoring it. because of the circumstances#i have two more shirt designs to finish before the month ends but as u can see school wants me dead at the same time#one of said designs is a full 7 character thing :/#and the other. well ive already made 3 thumbnails for it and nothing rly clicks the way i want it to
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sunyoonandstars · 7 years ago
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In Between (BTS series) || Chapter 9.2 / Alternative Ending for NAMJOON
This series is based on a request made by the lovely @im-cxnfused. I hope it manages to meet your expectations! 💜
I got very inspired by this request, so it actually turned into a series.
This is one of two alternative endings to said series. Having arrived here, you must have gone to the right, choosing to go towards NAMJOON instead of Jimin. Let’s see how that goes …
Thank you for reading 💜 and staying with this series to the end! It’s much appreciated! Also, feedback is always welcome, in case you didn’t know. I truly hope this ending manages to meet your expectations somehow and doesn’t leave (too many of) you frustrated / upset / disappointed 🙊
Anyways, I won’t give any (more) spoilers. 
Enjoy! 💜 And feel free to leave feedback!
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Chapter Index - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.1, 9.2 
Synopsis
You and Namjoon are in a committed relationship. Or so you had thought. When you catch him cheating, however, you decide to take revenge in a way equally brutal. But soon the events take an unforeseen turn, leaving you torn …
Pairing: You x Namjoon, You x Jimin
angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, occasional hints of smut
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You nod, pressing your eyes shut, drawing one last, deep breath before you turn to your right. 
Namjoon seems genuinely surprised when you open your eyes to look at him. Slowly, you take the first step towards him, a confident nod of your head answering the unvoiced question his wide eyes virtually scream at you. In obvious disbelief, his jaw drops while his face lights up with incredulous joy. „Really?“, he gasps, walking in your direction to meet you halfway and throw his arms around you, lifting you off the floor. „Yes, Namjoon.“ You break the embrace and take a step back, enabling you to look him straight in the eyes. „I’ll give you one last chance. One last chance to prove you’re still the man I fell in love with.“ „I will, y/n!“, he immediately assures you. „I will do everything in my power to prove to you that I am still worthy of your trust and love. I will atone for my indiscretion for the rest of my life and do whatever I can to make it up to you, I promise! Because, I really, truly, love you more than anything, y/n! I’m not exaggerating when I say I love you more than life itself. I don’t know what I’d do without you, and up until this moment, just now, I believed to have lost you for good. You have no idea how happy you make me by taking me back, y/n. I am seriously the happiest man alive on this whole, wide world right now. Thank you. Thank you, for giving me another chance.“ Still grinning broadly, Namjoon takes your hands into his and places gentle kisses on your scabbed knuckles, all the while looking you deep in the eyes, his gleaming with pure bliss and affection. A fond smile curving your lips, you watch him, your heart painfully twisting in your chest, torn between the happiness you feel at the sight of him right now and the hurtful memories of his past wrongdoings, haunting this reunion like dark shadows of an unfortunate future already towering over you. No, you push back your doubts. No, this is the right choice. You have to see if this, if you, can still work. Your heart had told you so. Told you to chose Namjoon once again. The past two years couldn't have been for nothing. They must be worth something, just like the promises he made, the plans you had for the shared years still ahead of you. Besides, you really have not much of a choice. After all, it’s not just your future at stake now. Not anymore. Yes. This must have been the right choice. You’re sure of it. Almost. Conscience-stricken, you turn around to look back at Jimin who has already left. His back to the two of you, he strides across the bridge, shoulders hunched, hands buried deep in the pockets of his jeans. He must be freezing. „I feel so sorry for him“, Namjoon mumbles into your hair, one arm wrapped around your waist, his words conveying nothing but sincerity. Yes. Sorry. That’s how you feel towards Jimin. No more, no less. Or at least that’s what you try to convince your pounding heart of. To no avail, though. You can’t keep lying to yourself. „Namjoon, I’m sorry. But there is something I have to say to him. I just can’t let him leave like this. I’ll be right back, okay?“ He nods, his eyes still fixed on Jimin’s stooping figure, slowly edging away. Clutching Jimin’s pebble in your aching hand inside the pocket of his coat you’re still wearing, you run after him, your legs carrying you as fast as they can, until you finally catch up to him, ready to collapse, struggling for breath, your throat hurting from the cold air.  „Jimin“, you gasp, barely catching him by the rim of his sweatshirt, incapable of taking even one more step. Flustered, he turns around, his face showing astonishment, anger, and an unbearable magnitude of pure pain. Seeing you, he instantly regains control over his emotions, his expression quickly changing into a cold, impassive mask, his eyes narrowing as he takes in your bent figure, still panting heavily. „What?“, he asks, his voice dead. „Your coat“, you barely get the words out, your lungs continuing to ache. „You can keep it“, Jimin simply shrugs, but you take it off nonetheless, handing it over only with the utmost reluctance, though, your hands not seeming to be willing to let go of the piece of clothing even when Jimin has long accepted it. So you stay, unmoving, both holding onto his feather down parka, staring into each other’s eyes as if aiming to burn holes into the opposite’s soul. „I’m so sorry, Jimin.“ He shows no reaction. „I know, it’s horribly selfish of me to say this, but I believe you should know in spite of everything.“ Your voice dries up, choking on the tears flooding your eyes. „Know what?“, Jimin inquires after seconds have passed. „I think I owe you at least my honesty“, you finally go on. „So, in the interest of full disclosure and the hope that it will somehow help you, us, to move on and maybe find back to our friendship one day in the not too distant future, I feel I need to tell you that I truly love you, Park Jimin. I still do. I always will. My feelings for you were real all along, nothing of it was ever fake or forced. And they will remain with me as long as I live, I’m sure of it. And I’m not telling you this to justify my choices or behavior. I am well aware of the fact that I mistreated you, and I hate myself for the way things came to be between us. I should never have let it go so far. I’m not saying that I regret being with you as more than a friend. I was happy during those weeks. You made me happy. Jimin, you are without a doubt one of the kindest, most loving, dedicated, strong and beautiful people I have ever met. And I know I don’t even deserve you, but in my egoism, I still wish we could just carry on what we started, just be together and —“ „Then let’s!“, he cuts you off, eyes suddenly alight with excitement, grasping your hand. Unwillingly, you pull away from his touch, peering at Namjoon who is watching your interactions intently. „Let’s just do that, y/n. Let’s be together. Namjoon will understand. Let’s just continue as if nothing happened“, he implores you, his pleading tone stinging your heart. Dropping your gaze, you slowly shake your head. „No. I’m sorry, Jimin, but we can’t do that.“ „Why not? Why can’t we?“ „Because there’s something I haven’t told you. Any of you. Namjoon doesn’t know either. I found out the day before I walked in on him and that woman. I was planning on telling him after my trip, but —“ „What? What is it, y/n!?“, he stops you in mid-sentence, having grabbed you by the shoulders with both hands, trying to catch your gaze, his eyes immediately wide with concern and panic. „Calm down, Jimin. It’s not like I’m gonna die or anything“, you scoff. But he doesn't seem to deem your remark especially funny. „Stop beating around the bush, y/n. I want to know, right now. What is it you have been keeping to yourself?“ You swallow hard, trying to gather the courage to say your following words out loud for the first time. „Jimin, I’m pregnant.“
 You can literally watch his jaw drop, all color draining from his shocked features. „You — You —“ Obviously struggling for words, Jimin merely points to your belly, his face frozen in a haunting state between dismay and delight. „Yes, Jimin, there’s a living being growing inside me that partly carries Kim Namjoon’s DNA.“ Still incredulous, his gaze wanders from your womb up to your eyes and back. „You’re serious?“, he eventually manages to say. „As serious as it gets. Why would I joke about something like this? It’s happening, Jimin, I’m inevitably getting huge and becoming a mother.“ „Wow.“ „Yeah, wow.“ For about a minute you stand opposite each other in silence, unmoving, until Jimin finally shakes off his paralysis, wresting his coat from your hands, still clutched around its sleeve, to wrap it around you once again. „Have you completely lost your mind, y/n!?“, he then unexpectedly raises his voice at you, apparently genuinely angry. „Running around like this, half-naked in this cold weather, when you are with child? Didn’t you think of your baby at all when you ran off like that?“ „Jimin, I didn’t think, alright? I’m not yet at all times fully aware of the fact that I’m gonna be a mother. I guess I’ll get used to it somehow, sooner or later. Used to not only think for myself anymore. But I’m not ready yet, okay?“, you scream back at him, your voice shrill and far too loud. But you don’t care about the passers-by staring, not even if Namjoon hears you. Tears now run down your cheeks, no strength left in you to hold them back for even only one more second. „The past few weeks have been intense. Too much, frankly. Confusing. Hurtful. Life changing. After I found out Namjoon was cheating — God knows if it was even his first time and how far things really went between him and that woman — It was like I was suddenly out of touch with my own life. I’m not even sure if I did it subconsciously or deliberately, but from the moment on when I walked in on them, I kind of blanked out all my thoughts and feelings of and for Namjoon, our past, and future. I forgot that I was carrying his child. I forgot. Can you believe it? Yes, I was sick, all the time. Remember? I puked like crazy. But we all thought it was psychosomatic nausea, or because I didn’t eat or something. And, yes, I was tired all the time. But I cried nonstop during the first few days. So, it didn’t seem that strange, right? Thinking back, I was so obviously pregnant, it’s almost funny, really. But I just didn’t wanna cope with it at the time, I guess. It’s not like I really forgot. I knew I was pregnant. Things like that don’t just slip your mind“, you scoff, Jimin simply staring at you, mouth agape. „You know, I had so much to deal with in the past few weeks, I couldn’t deal with becoming a mother, or maybe even a single parent, too. I had to get my act together first. So, I guess momentarily editing out the pregnancy part from the plot was, I don’t know, reasonable? The doing of some subliminal protective mechanism taking over my brain or something?“ You shrug helplessly, half laughing half crying. „Anyway, that’s why I have to give my relationship with Namjoon at least one last chance. I have to see if we can make it work. I won’t force anything, because no child can grow up happily and healthily in a forced marriage, hence a phony family. I don’t want that for this little guy. I want him or her to have parents who don’t only love their child, but also each other. If that’s not an option I’d rather raise this kid all by myself. Do you understand?“ „Yes“, Jimin nods, his expression serious. „I think that sounds very mature.“ „Thanks, I guess.“ Blushing, not even entirely sure why, you avert your face while Jimin leans in to gently pull the parka’s huge, faux furred hood over your head to protect your face against the gusting wind. „That was quite a monologue“, he smirks after the both of you had stood in silence for another painful minute. „Yeah. Sorry about that.“ „Don’t apologize. I just you think should have shared this revelatory moment with Namjoon, not with me, y/n.“ Tears, welling up once again, drown your voice, so instead you shake your head in response, avoiding Jimin’s eye. „Go to him, y/n. He must be worried out of his mind after watching the show you put on just now. Go to Namjoon, tell him about his child.“ Doing your best not to turn into a teary mess again, you ferociously chew on your bottom lip, feeling for Jimin’s rock in the depth of the left jacket pocket. Finally, you find it, immediate relief coming over you as you feel its cold, smooth surface against the palm of your hand. Questioningly, Jimin raises an eyebrow when you hold out your fist to him. „Open your hand“, you order him. Hesitantly, he does as you say, his eyes growing wide as he realizes what you just handed him. „I want you to keep that“, you explain, mustering neither the courage nor the strength to look him in the eye as you speak your next words. „I’m not gonna tell you to wait for me, Jimin. I don’t want you to waste any more of your time on me. I want you to live and love as freely as you please. I’m just saying that we never know what may happen. And that my heart belongs to you. It has ever since you picked this very stone up at the beach that day, and it always will. So, see this pebble as my heart and treat it well. Maybe it will bring you good luck, just like you always believed it would. I hope it does.“ Waving, forcing a smile, you look over at Namjoon when you notice him staring. „I have to go, Jimin. Please, get home safely and quickly. Try not to catch a cold. I’d hate to ruin your comeback.“ „Don’t worry.“ He smiles weakly. „I’m stronger than I look.“ „I know you are. I never doubted it.“ He shrugs. „Take care. Don’t do anything stupid. And, please, let’s stay friends.“ Before turning to go, you get on the tip of your toes, following a spontaneous impulse, and give Jimin a little peck on the cheek, leaving him flustered as you hurry back to Namjoons side, grateful for the icy wind quickly drying your tears. „What was that all about?“, Namjoon welcomes you. „You screamed and shouted. Did you have a fight?“ „No, not at all“, you shake your head. „Well, it looked like a fight“, he objects, suspiciously eying Jimin over his shoulder while he links arms with you and the two of you start walking in the opposite direction. „Not everything is always what it looks like, Namjoonie.“ A sigh escapes your lips. Just like it used to be, you think to yourself as you stroll across the bridge, Namjoon’s long arm across your shoulder. Almost. There is always going to be a bitter aftertaste to every joyful moment you both will share from now on, you then realize, a shiver running down your spine. „Joon, I have to tell you something. It’s kind of a big deal, actually, but I don’t want you to make a big fuss about it or anything.“ „Okay. Spill.“
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THREE YEARS LATER...
„Now, again, Hyun-shik-ah, who is your daddy?“ Pouting, the little boy points to Jimin on whose lap he’s comfortably seated. „Wellllll …“, you tilt your head, having trouble to hold back amused laughter, as does Jimin, obviously. He is pressing his lips firmly shut, eyes gleaming with affection, looking at the little guy as if he could eat him alive right here and now. „Yes, he’s your daddy, too, of course.” „My favorite daddy“, Hyun-shik snaps, crossing his arms across his tiny chest, rosy lips pursed. Contritely, you look over at Namjoon, who, to your great relief, seems to be just as enamored by Hyun-shik and his little antics as you are. „And who is your other daddy?“ Reluctantly, the little one’s eyes land on Namjoon. „Yes, that’s right. Who’s that?“, you ask, reassuringly patting Hyun-shik’s glossy black hair. „I’m your daddy Namjoon, isn’t that right?“, Namjoon tries to break the ice, smiling cutely, the famous dimples showing which he passed on to the three-year-old of his own flesh and blood he is carefully approaching at this very moment. The little guy shyly pushes back into Jimin’s arms, hiding his handsome little face behind a curtain of shiny raven hair, his tiny black eyes wide and cheeks flushed. „I’m sorry, Namjoon, but he’s going through this phase right now, where he doesn’t let ‚strangers‘ near him. And you become practically a stranger to him as soon as he doesn’t see you for like three days in a row. He is just very shy right now.“ „You don’t have to make excuses, y/n, I know I haven’t seen him in a while. And he’s too young to understand“, Namjoon simply smiles, retreating and taking a seat next to you on the sofa, still fondly watching little Hyun-shik who has turned to Jimin, whispering something into his dad's ear, impatiently pulling at his hair when Jimin doesn’t come close enough quickly enough. An unconscious smile curves your lips while you observe their loving interactions, Hyun-shik and Jimin being lost in their own world, as usual, now quietly laughing at a joke they don't share with you. „He’s growing up so fast“, Namjoon sighs. „Yes. And he’s such a clever boy. Learning something new every day. That must be your genomes coming through“, you banter, eliciting a soft chuckle from Namjoon. „I should come and see him more often.“ „Yes, you should. I’m sure he’d grow to accept and love you quickly if you’d only visit on a more regular basis.“ Namjoon nods. „Maybe. But it’s not that easy, especially now that I have my solo career on the side.“ „I know, I know. I don’t intend to pressure you or give you a guilty conscience, Namjoon. You’re a passionate, successful man, I respect that. But you shouldn't forget that you can’t have everything.“ „I know, I know.“ For a few minutes, the two of you silently sit side by side, simply watching Jimin and Hyun-shik playing with toy cars, racing along an invisible course across the carpet of your living room. Until ... „Guess who is hooooome!?“, a loud voice suddenly rips throw the peaceful atmosphere. „Daddy Jin!“, Hyun-shik shouts out, his round little face lighting up at the sight of Seokjin appearing in the door frame, carrying several tightly packed shopping bags. Regardless of said bags, Hyun-shik throws himself into the extended arms of Jin, sending the both of them almost tumbling to the ground. „Ouch“, Namjoon scoffs at his son’s rejoice. „Well, Jin he sees almost every day at least for a few hours. You, on the other hand, he hasn't seen in … What? Five weeks?“ „Alright, alright, I’ll make an effort to come by more often“, he promises, his eyes still fixed on the three-year-old now helping Jin carry the heavy bags towards the kitchen. „Guess what I’m gonna cook for us today, Hyun-shik-ah?“ Smiling to yourself you watch Jin and your son disappear into the corridor. „I’m headed to the kitchen to help Jin out. As you very well know our Hyun-shik can be quite a handful“, Jimin says, leaning over the sofa’s backrest next to you. „Is there anything you want, baby? Anything you need? That herbal tea you’re crazy for these days? Or some watermelon maybe?“ „No, thanks, Jimin honey“, you smile, turning towards him to meet his lips in a quick kiss. „Alright“, he sighs, leaning down even further to tenderly caress your round belly before he turns to go. „I’ll be in the kitchen if you or Mini-Park need anything, y/n baby. The guys are coming over for dinner soon. Jungkookie promised he’d bring that snack you crave. What was it again?“
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THE END
Thank you all for reading and sticking with this series until the end!!! 🙏🏻💜
I hope you enjoyed this final chapter and the way it turned out! I really hope I didn’t disappoint any / too many of you who expected an actual happy ending your y/n and Namjoon. Just like I didn’t have an actual outline for the other alternative ending, I didn’t have this one exactly planned out, either, but rather just went with the flow, to see where it would take me …I intended to somehow force a scenario in which Namjoon and y/n end up happily together. But it just didn’t feel right / seem reasonable or natural. And the pregnancy thing was actually the product of a spontaneous idea. It surprised me, too, but in the end, it somehow made sense. + I never said in this version y/n would actually end up with Namjoon. I merely said you / y/n would choose to go right, towards Namjoon, and pick him at that very moment. from there onwards the story kind of developed a life of its own. Sorry, not sorry. + (I hope? lol) Anyways, I really hope you, who chose to go right and stay loyal to Namjoon despite everything he did, are still somehow satisfied with the outcome and don’t hate me too much. 😭����Feel free to leave feedback and check out my Masterlist for more BTS fiction.
Anyway, thanks again for staying with this series! I hope you enjoyed it! take care! I wish you all the best and a very nice day! 💜
P.S.: There’ll probably be a BONUS CHAPTER added soon, for everyone who’s interested, telling the story of your / y/n’s first meeting with Jimin and the events that followed …
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