#and for me that is her singing nonsense (christmas edition) all the time

[solar-halos]

How would Finnick and Annie spend Christmas??

omg thank you so much for asking this! <3. you truly brightened my day now i can't stop thinking about christmas odesta

i think i already wrote out a list of hcs last year, but i can't find them, so hopefully this isn't too redundant! hope you like them

annie is blastinggg nonsense (christmas edition) by sabrina carpenter. i dont make the rules i just follow them

annie is super into decorating, whether its the christmas trees or their cookies or their gingerbread house, and i think finnick would have a lot of fun with the assembly and creating backstories for their creations

speaking of baking cookies, finnick wipes flour on annie's nose when they're making sugar cookies. so, naturally, annie smears his cheek with it. and, even more naturally, this snowballs (no pun intended!) into a flour fight each year

they would have so much fun in the snow!! johanna would challenge (and demolish them) in a snowball fight and they'd spend sooo long making the most perfect snowman (annie knits a scarf for it)

speaking of fiber arts, im so sad that i cant find the specific pic im talking about, but annie is definitely crocheting so many snowman/candy cane/christmas-y themed hats and scarves for everyone!! also, ugly christmas sweaters for everyone! also, personalized stockings for her loved ones!!

moving back to christmas odesta, they would be so insufferable with the mistletoe

i def remember putting this in the previous list of odesta christmas hcs, but i love it sm im gonna put it here: for 3 king's day finnick is like "annie turn uppp i found the baby!!" and she is like finnick put that BACK before u make us host an entire fuckin party

on christmas day, they're cuddled up together in fuzzy socks and the aformentioned ugly sweaters surrounded by all their friends and family <3. annie's drink of choice is hot chocolate with sprinkles dusted over an entire tower of whipped cream. finnick adds a blasphemous amount of chocolate syrup into his eggnog, adding in xtra cinnamon for good measure

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

oh rhe behind the scenes info from I Want it All is so super cute I need more

Edit: Part 1

Hi anon!! So glad you liked it! 🥰🥰 thank you for asking, and I’d love to share more. I actually found some notes that I never used, so don’t worry. Here’s a quick one about Amelia (I actually just cut the idea from the Halloween chapter bc it no longer fit). This is an “in the future” story, maybe 6 months to a year from now, give or take.

The Princess likes King Arthur, typical.

Robbe and Sander were warned early on by the ladies at swim class to be very careful and discerning when introducing Amelia to tv and movies. Little kids fixate, they said, and they knew from experience that whatever show or movie she latched onto first would be the one they’d be stuck with for awhile. If they weren’t careful, they’d be watching a movie they abhorred every day for a year. They told horror stories of being stuck with Caillou and PJ Masks and wanting to gouge their eyes out with legos.

She was far too little at the time for them to worry, but they took the advice to heart and were prepared when she started noticing the tv and stopping to watch it. They wanted something with a powerful, female protagonist and something they both could stand to watch over and over. They realized quickly that they didn’t have too many options, so they extended it to no damsels in distress. They tried Moana, Mulan, and Frozen first, just having it on in the background. Nope. Nothing. She glanced at it and kept going. That was fine. Fine. She was just too young. They waited another few months and tried them again. Still nothing, but she was continually checking out the tv even when it was off, which was most of the time. So they tried Tangled and Aladdin. Nothing. Not even the “big big kitties” of the Lion King interested her. After that, they gave up on choosing something specific and just paid more attention to what they allowed on the tv, turning off anything that looked obnoxious after a few minutes. So much for being prepared and ahead of the game.

In the end, Amelia found it herself. The Sword in the Stone came on as an auto-play after a random cartoon they’d had on in the background. Wart’s “Woah-wii-whoa” caught her attention, and the next thing they knew, she was plopped on the floor in front of the couch, clutching her blanket, cackling as the milk and sugar waltzed across the table. She thought the squirrels were funny and cute, covered her eyes with the blanket when the barracuda chased the fish Wart, and squealed with delight when Madam Mim turned into a dragon. She thought the whole thing was hilarious. From that day on, she always asked for the “Squirrel Wart and Dragon lady” movie and couldn’t decide whether to be Wart or Merlin for Halloween. She even played Merlin with her tea set and stood on her stool next to Sander’s suitcase, waving her arms around, singing nonsense syllables, and she asked for an Archimedes (owl) stuffy for Christmas. Neither of them could have guessed this would be the film she’d like best, but they weren’t complaining. It was a cute movie with nothing really problematic in it. So much for control. Their stubborn girl wasn’t about to let them dictate her interests. She’d like what she liked. They might as well be thankful they were learning that lesson now.

***

I’m sorry it’s taken me a few days to respond to this. I’ve been writing the Halloween chapter and have kind of been in the zone the last few days. Thank you so much for your ask. 🥰🥰 It’s fun to think I’m not the only one enjoying this.

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

[himooonlight]

who are you? pt. 3 (reggie x reader)

pairing: reggie x reader

word count: 4.7k

plot: you dream about reggie constantly and when you see him perfoming with julie, you decide to ask her about him

warnings: sad stuff?

A/N: hello again! i'm super excited about this chapter, so hope you all like it :) two things though: 1. this story takes place after the season finale and i'm trying to keep everything accurate and 2. the dream is in italics. NOW ENJOY!!

oh and just in case you missed, here's chapter 1 and chapter 2

- You know, I was thinking. - Reggie says as I wave my sister goodbye. She did talk to Julie's dad about having me for dinner, making sure he was okay with it, just like I knew she would do. Mr. Molina seems like a very nice person. - “I’ll always find you” sounded a bit creepy. How about “we’ll always find each other”? That way I’m not the only creepy stalker in the relationship. We can be weird together.

  Reggie knows I can't reply, but I can't help but smile. He's too cute.

  - Y/N, come in! - Mr. Molina screams from the door.

  Daisy goes back to her car and when I can't see her anymore due to all the plants and trees in their front yard, I walk inside. The first thing I notice is a large wooden straight staircase and a lot of different carpets on the floor. Everything is neat and in brown tones. A lot of frames are decorating the yellow walls; some are pictures and some are paintings. Everything is elegant and cool, detailed even.

  - Julie, Y/N's here! - He screams at the bottom of the sairs. He's looking up, so I'm assuming Julie's room is upstairs. Soon enough, his daughter appears and smiles at me. I like how her front teeth are separated and she doesn't wear much makeup; it makes me feel more accepted and understood somehow. - Girls, I'll be in my room working on some editing, so behave, ok? Oh, and there's some fresh strawberries in the fridge. Maybe you can make Y/N that smoothie.

  He winks at Julie and goes upstairs. Meanwhile, I'm frozen, inebriated with a memory.

  Fresh strawberries. That house. The open kitchen.

  I've seen that place before in my dreams. With Reggie. When I was a man.

  The cabinets were light blue and the orange chairs gave the kitchen some sort of happy vibe even though I wasn't comfortable there. A few people were sitting on the counter, close to the big fridge, holding cups. The strangers were flirting, kissing and singing with the loud music that was playing. Overwhelmed, I looked for Reggie.

  It was the same house. The floor was covered in white porcelain tiles and there was a big leather couch where Julie's dinner table was, but I knew it was the same place.

  - Are you ok? - Julie asks me.

  Her dad is gone and suddenly I feel inadequate. I have to focus on breathing normally while trying to remember more details. Everybody is connected somehow, I know, and maybe recalling a conversation or recognizing something could help Reggie and the boys.

  - I need to explain my connection with Reggie. - I whisper. My voice is shaky and she looks worried. Reggie tries to hold my hand and fails, making me smile softly at him. It's nice to know he is around, somehow. - I've been here before, in my dreams. It's… are the boys here as well?

  I look around just for a moment, taking in more details. The curtains in the dream house were beige. There were a lot of plants around and a few picture frames in the living room. I can't quite see the faces in the photos, but it's a family of three in front of a Christmas tree. There's too many people around me and it's overwhelming.

  I sit on the floor and Julie follows me. Closing my eyes, I try getting back to that dream just in time to recall Reggie touching my shoulder and saying "there's some fresh strawberries in the fridge; you said you like it so I bought you some".

  He looks shy for a moment and I can't help but stare at his eyes in awe. I don't feel very relaxed at the party and Reggie picks up on the way I play with my fingers in agitation and look away, trying to see if we can go out. He takes my hand and soon we're at the back of the house, in a big garage with a lot of instruments.

  - Thanks for coming. I know you're not a huge fan of parties, but I'm glad you're here. It wouldn't be the same without you.

  His stare is too much for me to handle, so I walk around the place, looking attentively at the instruments. The drums and a guitar are inviting to the touch, but I hold back. Even though we are alone, it's like being with him is wrong so I act like I'm walking on eggshells. Feels right liking him, but it's wrong; it's a fight that I know my head will win and my heart will be devastated.

  - I came here to say that I… - I start, not looking at him. He's too pure and I'm too weak. The music is still playing in the background and we can hear a lot of screams and laughs coming from the house. - that we can't do this.

  Reggie looks offended.

  - Do what?

  - This. You and I. - I replied, turning to face him. He looks perplexed. Did I misread the signs? - My parents would kill me.

  I can cut the tension with a knife. However, I don't have to try because Reginald is doing that for us by putting a mask on and looking frustrated. He opens his mouth a few times, as if trying to justify or explain himself.

  - Ethan, what are you talking about? - He asks, with a scoff. I don't recognize that reaction on his face. It's like he's trying too hard to play a part he doesn't even want to. - We're friends. I like girls. I flirt a lot, sure, but it's all a joke.

  He bought me strawberries as a joke.

  He held my hand and called me pet names for the laugh.

  He was pretending when I thought he felt something more.

  - I'm sorry. - I said, staring at some papers on the floor. Probably unfinished lyrics. A notebook is open with the name Emily on the top of the page and then it hits me: he could never love me the way I loved him. I was the weird one; I was wrong. - I have to go.

  - Y/N. - Julie touches my arm, making me open my eyes. - Tell me what is going on.

  She's fairly calm. Reggie, however, looks like he's about to scream.

  - They are here, right? - I inquire and Julie nods in response. - I've been having dreams about Reggie for a year now. The first five dreams or so were different. I was a man and he was… himself. But things were different somehow, not just me. The world was not the same. The last dream I had before meeting him as me, a girl, I was at this house. Again: this was not your place. The decoration was totally different and people were dressed like they were in the 90's. He said his bandmate was throwing a party since his parents weren't home and that I should come. I actually did and he said he didn't like me because I was a guy. So I left and the next thing I know I'm me and he's asking for help, saying he needs me. At first I thought he changed his mind, cause we were going on dates, talking about the future, laughing and just enjoying everything together. In my dreams, of course. Now I just... it felt like different lifetimes, to be honest. And I liked him in both.

  - Alex is asking when was the first time you two met. - Julie says.

  - I don't know the date, but it was at a book club. He said they were going to play there, but they mostly ate. And one of his friends was super engaged with the people there, listening to them talk about literature and life. I can't remember their faces very well. I just remember one was brunette and the other was blond, just like your band, Julie.

  - Luke asked when was the last time you had a dream about me. - It's Reginald's turn to be his friends' messenger.

  - Thursday night. Reggie said something about having to go, not knowing how to stay. It was very emotional. - I answer. - But a friend of mine sent me a video of your concert on Friday night. She was at the Orpheum and she said you were great. I just couldn't stop looking at you and wondering if I'm insane. Am I crazy, Reggie?

  - If you are crazy, so am I. - Julie declares when the boy next to me doesn't say anything. It's too much to take in. The three of us are still sitting on the floor and the silence is loud. Loud because it means a lot; that we're all confused. - Alex, wait.

  - What? - I ask.

  - Alex stormed off. He asked us to come to the garage.

  Reggie beams, looking ashamed, and we go to the place I've seen before in my dreams. The garage/studio has chairs in the ceiling and a lot of plants, along with a beautiful piano and a bigger window. Beside me, Julie seems nervous and suddenly two good-looking boys appear in front of me, playing the guitar and the drums.

  The brunette and the blond that I didn't recognize before are playing loudly, staring at me with indecipherable expressions and furrowed eyebrows.

  - This is the only way you can see us, when we're playing. - The drummer screams. - I'm Alex and this is Luke. - In cue, Luke smiles a little. He is definitely the one that enjoyed metaphors in my dream. - Do you remember anything else about the book club?

  - Why? - Luke inquires.

  - Just sush. - He says.

  - Anything like what?

  - Like the address.

  Luke looks at Alex like he just said the biggest nonsense he has ever heard. Reggie is standing next to me, speechless. I can tell he's conflicted, so I don't push. I'm confused as well, trying to focus on the first dream, realizing that the details are not very clear anymore; all I can recall is Reggie being adorable and my feelings all over the place. I remember walking around the house unpretentiously with him, thinking about his features and his personality.

  - I don't know. - I state.

  - Do you think this is about your unfinished business too? - It's Julie's turn to make questions. - The book club? Y/N? What is going on? After Friday I figured we would stay together, but now you're actually considering going back out there?

  I have no idea what she is talking about. I just feel like I'm intruding and should just let go, pretending that Reggie is just imaginary. I don't think I'll dream about him again, so I could always just do like the night I said "I have to go" and leave again.

  Nobody really talks about leaving. Songs are written about being left, books tell the story of the ones who leave, movies focus on the girl moving on after getting dumped. It's never about the villain, the person who decides to leave because it's too overwhelming, too much to handle. Nobody talks about how hard it is to live with the weight of the decision to go away - it's always focussed on the consequences, not the responsibility of leaving.

  - I wanna know. - Reginald says. - I think I need to know.

  - And I think I remember the address. - Luke sounds serious. He is still playing just like Alex (who looks tired), but keeps trying his best to continue. - Do you think your dad can take you to Echo Park right now?

  The car ride is a bit awkward. Julie is sitting in the front with her dad, that doesn't question when she asks to go to the park. She justifies with a simple "we want to see this house for our drawing class, so we can get some inspiration" that he answers with a smile and a "let's go". Luke and Alex teleport, while Reggie stays behind to accompany me.

  - I'm trying to remember that day, I promise. The day we met. - His voice is low and I feel an urge to hug him. - There's something here - He points at his head. - about the party, but I just remember feeling bad for lying about something, then Luke said we should play and that's pretty much it. What does it even mean? How can you dream about that? Are you a ghost too? Ok, just ignore that last question. But how? Why? What is happening?

  - You know, Y/N, I really think that friend of ours should just learn how to teleport, right? - Julie says, turning her head around and looking at Reggie. He apologies and disappears.

  The rest of the way is basically Mr. Molina asking about school and making me feel at ease. He is kind and bright, which makes me wonder about Julie's mom. Was she as bright? Or maybe more quiet and calm? Collected maybe? The way her dad talks about Carlos, Julie's brother, makes me think that they're doing alright, that they are healing. Julie engages a little more when he talks about the concert and when the cars slows down close the address Luke gave us, my heart is going wild.

  - This is the house, right? - Mr. Molina asks.

  It is. Luke is right; that's the friendly two-story white house that works as a cultural center. Big windows, big porch. There's a few flowers and a swig, but the rest is just like I remember. Looks like there's a small gathering going on and I can see some people in the front yard, talking and drinking what looks like orange juice. A "Hope Cultural Center" sign greets people with a smiley face and blue letters close to the door too.

  - Yep, that's it.

  - Dad, do you wanna go park somewhere? We'll take some pictures and wait for you here. Maybe go inside a little? Our friend said they have book clubs, so maybe there's some expositions and stuff like that too.

  - Sure! I'll be right back.

  Julie and I get out of the car and find Reggie sitting on the sidewalk, observing the house attentively. I assume the boys are with him as well.

  - Should we go inside? Just to check it out? - I can't recognize my own voice. It doesn't sound like the same person that was contemplating running away. I sound excited. - What do you think?

  Both of them nod and we take the few steps that separates us from the gates. It's open and everybody looks very friendly, so we go on, holding onto the "Hope" sign. Hoping we can discover something important, any information that can help us. I wouldn't say out loud, but I could add "life changing" to that list as well.

  - Oh, hello there! - An old lady says. Her voice is almost like summer days and cotton candy. - I've never seen your faces around here. 

  - Yeah, we were just passing by and…

  - Welcome then, my dears. We're happy to have you with us today. - Her smile melts my heart. It could be her fluffy hair or the wrinkles in her eyes; perhaps everything about her screams "I'm a nice person". - We're celebrating our 30th anniversary! There's some expositions on the second floor, food in the kitchen area, back there, - She points somewhere like we know the place already and that makes me feel warm. - and music in the backyard too. Help yourself and if you need anything, let me know, ok?

  - She is so nice. - Reggie says, smiling too. - So, what are we looking for? - When everybody stays quiet, I feel panic rising in my chest.

  - Y/N, I'll stay here to wait for my dad. You go ahead and look around, see if you remember anything. The boys will do the same. - She looks around and I assume she is making sure they know what to do. - I'll text you when my dad gets here.

  As I take the first step further away from her, the panic intensifies. I have to put it aside so I can focus and try to find anything that's remotely relevant.

  I find myself going to the backyard, amused that everything looks so similar to my dream. The grass is greener, the fence is now brown, yet I can almost see Reggie and his friends standing at the same place.

  There's only one girl out there sitting with a guitar in a small stage made with wood pallets, seeming nervous. I take one last look around before heading upstairs. Reggie is by the kitchen and Julie is probably still at the door, so I find the stairs and take in all the frames by the wall. Some are poems, some are drawings and everything is beautiful, soulfull.

  When I get to the actual exposition, I find a photo that grabs my attention.

  It's a group picture with at least 6 people. The date says it's 1995 and everybody has a book in their hand and a silly look on their face, apparently happy to be there. Probably the old lady knows who they are, but I don't see her around, so I just continue my quest for the unknown.

  That is until I recognize Alex in another frame that also dates 1995. 

  He is holding a paper that says "best poem" and I feel goosebumps all over my arms. My throat closes.

  They are really dead. Reggie is really dead.

  Death took him away from me and I feel so selfish for feeling sad about it: I feel sad because I can't be with him anymore. My first thought is that it's disappointing loving someone so impossible like him. The second is "he was so young and had so many dreams… why?". Questioning death and all its mystery is probably normal, still I hate the feeling of not knowing more. Why is he a ghost? Why so early? Why him? Would I ever forget him completely?

  Life really is just a competition to see how long we can stay alive and well, tricking death. Death really is just about the living grieving because their love has no place to go.

   These people probably don't even know about Reggie, Alex and Luke. When they see the picture, they might think Alex is probably old, married and maybe doing something boring. Maybe they don't even suppose anything about him like it's not relevant, not worth it.

  It's impossible not to notice the bitter sensation in my mouth. I guess it's something like frustration or the weight of everything coming back to me after the insane day I had.

  - That's Alex. - Reggie's voice scares me and I jump a little. He's examining the picture carefully. - I don't remember being here, to be honest. No matter how hard I try.

  - Alex and his friends were the living proof that you can always try harder. - I hear someone's voice. When I look around, the old lady is standing next to me.

  I can't bring myself to say anything. My whole body is tired and my thoughts are not clear anymore. All I can do is keep all my attention on that picture and hope I can go home soon.

  - They were great. - She continues, not minding Reggie. The lady can't see him. - They were in a band called Sunset Curve. My best friend is this guy's mom. - She points at the cheerful Alex immortalized in the photo. - Alex and his friends died that year and she was devastated. Everybody was. I've heard that one of the boys' parents searched the whole town for him before knowing about his death. Apparently they weren't on good terms.

  She is talking about Luke, making me feel like an intruder. Again.

  - Do you still talk to his mom? - I continue my way through the expositions while she follows me around. It's a timeline with different occasions, different people. Everybody is joyful and in bright colors, always doing something in a group, sustaining the idea that everything is better when you're surrounded by nice people. - Is she alright?

  - Oh, yes, darling, she is. His parents opened a coffee shop downtown. They've been involved in a lot of projects, volunteering to help the community. A few years back they decided to focus on kids and I think they found their purpose in life again with that. Let me show you something.

  Her hand flies to meet mine and I feel positive energy running through us. She is very vivid, which is a great match with her colorful clothes. She's wearing green pants, a pink shirt and orange shoes. Her smile is decorated with red lipstick, contrasting with a few missed teeth. It's inevitable to like her and her unique way of dressing and expressing herself.

  - Here. - We stop in 2018. The walls are white so the colors scream, begging for attention. - This was two years ago. Lisa and her husband, Jarred, Alex's parents, made a project to help kids and teenagers with music. They had workshops, competitions, small concerts at their cafe. It was amazing. They actually found...

  She is pointing at a few pictures where kids are playing instruments, wearing wigs and a lot of glitter. They all look delighted and excited and I can almost see the spark in their eyes. At the top, on the left side, I see something that makes me stop in my tracks, feeling dizzy. She shouldn't be wearing nice shoes, considering I might throw up at any moment.

  - Y/N. - Reggie calls. He probably sees the same thing I'm seeing.

  It can't be. I wanna go home.

  I can't be there anymore.

  - There you are. - Julie screams. My body is so stiff I can't turn around. - Y/N? What are you guys doing?

  - I was just showing her this picture. - She doesn't notice the way my mind is about to explode and continues. - It was back in 2018. These two boys were awesome and even covered Sunset Curve a few times. I think their names were Luke and Reggie, if I'm not mistaken. They haven't been around in a while. Jarred said they look just like Alex's bandmates, but this one - She points at Luke. - was an orphan and was kind of a troublemaker. And this one - It's Reggie's turn. - was having problems at school. They just assumed they didn't want to come to the workshops anymore. But my point is: his parents found their peace with their son's death. They managed to make something beautiful and honor Alex's name. It's all that matters, right? We can't change the fact that they died. All we can do is decide how we're going to use their influence in your lives.

  Julie is probably just as confused as I am. I hear an "excuse me for a second" and suddenly she is gone. I miss her colors and being oblivious to that information. That Reggie and Luke were alive two years ago.

  - What is going on?

  I can clearly see Reggie and Luke playing at a small stage, sharing a microphone. They look so connected and carefree. The quality of the picture is so good that I can't even question the date; there's no way that was taken before 1995.

  Alex is nowhere to be seen in that photo.

  - We need to find them, Y/N. We need to know who they are, why they're pretending to be Reggie and Luke and... what is going on?

  - Guys. - Reggie is still staring at the picture like his life depended on it. - Guys. I… I think I remember this. This place. Luke, you remember too right?

  It's the first time I see Reggie so unstable. He's not making jokes to hide his feelings; he is genuinely confused and afraid, like all of us. I feel like this is the first time I see him and it's scary. Not being able to help, frustrated that I can't stop the wave of uncertainty and fear that he's experiencing. 

  Luke's answer is not audible to me. Reggie is saying something yet I can't hear him because I'm busy engulfed in hesitation. Should I give them privacy and go home? Should I ask around about the coffee shop? Should I stay quiet?

  - I'm confused too. Maybe we should call it a day and just go home for now. We can come back another time. - Julie speaks. - Come on, Y/N. My dad is waiting outside.

  I ask Mr. Molina to take me home, with the excuse that I don't feel good. It's not really a lie. He is very polite and says I should come back another time so we can all have hot dogs together. Julie agrees and I wonder if we'll be friends. I hope so.

  When I get to my room, my mind runs to the picture. It's so clear, so confusing and so aggravating. We're getting played by faith, destiny or the universe; some unknown force with strong powers to make people sick to their stomach. Their goal might be to drive people crazy. Who knows? Surely not me.

  I eat dinner with my family, finish my homework, take a shower and read a little while listening to some music. When it's almost nine, I hear a knock on my door.

  - Come in.

  My eyes are playing tricks on me. Reggie is standing there, with his hands in his pockets and red eyes.

  I stand up, not minding my bunny pajamas. He doesn't seem to mind either.

  - Nice candles. - There he is, the same flirty Reggie. I relax and he steps closer to me. His gaze is so intense and I want to cry. - Look at you being romantic.

  - This was actually me trying to summon you, but alright. - I reply and he laughs. It's not genuine. - How are you?

  It's ironic how my playlist is called "slow dancing in my room". Soon enough, Reggie shows me his palms, as if inviting me for a dance. Not going all the way and trying to touch him, I smile weakly and almost wince with the urge to hold his hand. We sway and keep our eyes on each other.

  - I'm sad. - That's new. He's never this transparent. - I don't understand what is going on. I remember that day with Luke. At least I think I do. I don't know what's real and what's just my mind desperate to be alive again. I thought just playing with Julie was enough, but…

  He doesn't finish. The song ends and we keep dancing slowly, letting our eyes talk for a moment. I can notice the pain, the sadness and the urge in his face. It breaks my heart.

  - What do you wanna do now?

  He tries touching my hand and misses it. His eyes scan my room, probably running away from me and my questioning eyes.

  - I wanna know everything, but Alex is not taking it well. He's not very good with changes.

  I nod and turn my head a little, demanding his attention on me again.

  - Take your time, ok? Talk to them about it, make a list on why you should and shouldn't go to that cafe and... I don't know, - We're still dancing and I'm still crushed, but at least being with him calms my heart. - breathe. Just breathe. Everything will be alright.

  - How can you be so positive right now?

  - Well, if people can be negative for no reason, I can be positive for no reason too. - I shrug and he sighs. - Scratch that. I do have a reason.

  Reggie gets closer and I can almost feel his nose touching mine.

  - What is it? - His voice is just above a whisper.

  - I want that to be true. I want you to be happy and well. I want you to feel loved too. That's exactly what you deserve, Reggie. Happiness. Love.

  Before I can say anything else, he steps back and says goodnight. My chest hurts and when I wake up in the morning with a text from Julie saying "let's go to that cafe today", I don't feel happy. Or loved.

  I'm just scared.

[xjamlessparkx]

betray | pjm | kth | 10

summary: in which taehyung leaves you on the day of your wedding to run off with your best friend and you finding out about their secret

pairing: park jimin x reader | kim taehyung x reader

genre: angst

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11   [m.list]

(a/n: hello my lovely readers. first of all i want to apologize deeply for being inactive for a long time. due to personal reasons i lacked the motivation to post another update. even though the series are finished i wanted to make sure to edit the chapter before posting it. i know it’s been so long and again i apologize for the delay)

It was finally Friday, the last day for the kids to attend school. They will have a break until after the new year and you were in a good mood because you would finally have two weeks break from work as well.

You wore a tight, long red dress with a grey pattern on its dress. Your hair was braided and you put on make-up. Jimin picked you up in his car. You walked up to his car as he made sure to get out, to open the door for you. When he came out of the car his eyes widened and his jaw dropped wide open.

The confidence was now on your side when you mocked him "You like what you see?" he started chuckling at your statement and you rolled your eyes, still smiling. He opened the door. "Milady..." he acted as if he was your chauffeur and bowed down. You chuckled and got into the car. He sure didn't know what to say and was quiet, trying to stop the urge to constantly look at you. He was hoping to arrive soon to admire your beauty even more.

The invitations were already going around and you were happy that everyone was attending. It was 4 pm and all of the teachers were in school, going to the assembly hall.

"You planned it well Y/N and Jimin ... I am amazed!" The principal of your school smiled while looking around the hall. You bowed down, high-fiving Jimin from behind your backs, knowing that you'll get your promotion soon. The families arrived as well, and the hall filled with children and parents. The kids would perform dance gigs, singing, and acting. You were sure that the parents would love to see their children perform.

The event started with Jimin and his class singing "Christmas Day". You cheered loudly for them and smiled, dancing along to the rhythm. Jimin's gaze was fixed on you. He smiled when he spotted you dancing on your own, completely lost in the melody and rhythm. A wide smile appeared on his lips as he looked back at his fingers, playing the right keys. When the song came to an end he was happy to be able to look at you again, but instead, his euphoria disappeared when he noticed that you were looking at the other side of the room. He followed your gaze which was leading to the entrance where Taehyung and Somin were standing at. Jimin let out a sigh, rolling his eyes.

He was waiting for this moment.

As if you were the only person in this whole hall, Taehyung's gaze was straight on you. He couldn't look away, and he also noticed that you were watching him. You sighed, turning away from them as you tried finding Jimin in the crowd. The next act started playing. Another class was singing their Christmas songs. You closed your eyes, trying to avoid the urge to look at them.

"Ms Y/N!" You heard Junho calling out for you. You turned around to where the sound was coming from and was startled by him suddenly hugging you tightly, smiling at his warm gesture.

You kneeled down next to him, smiling "Are you going to perform today as well?" You asked and he nodded happily.

"I will be a reindeer" you chuckled at his happiness. He was so adorable. You saw four pairs of shoes in front of you and lifted your head to look into Taehyung and Somin's eyes.

"Mom, Dad, this is my teacher" Junho smiled. You bowed down in a matter of respect "Nice to meet you" you exclaimed, looking into Taehyung's eyes.

Suddenly you felt an arm sliding around your waist. When you looked to your side you saw Jimin whose hand was on your waist while he pulled you closer to his side. You were startled by his sudden action and couldn't really react. Your surprised expression was making Taehyung furrow his eyebrows, he felt like you weren't used to this. A sly smirk made its way across his lips, your reaction was giving away too much.

"He still thinks that we're in a relationship" Jimin whispered in your ear, being happy that the hall was as loud enough for them not to hear. At that moment you felt thankful for Jimin but also guilty because he had to act as if he was your boyfriend even though you didn't want him to take part in this drama. You felt like you pulled him into this situation, probably making him feel obligated to help you out.

"Did you like my song?" He asked, ignoring the presence of the married couple. You put on a smile, nodding at him while trying to look up at him.

"It was lovely" you muttered and looked at the two again, eyes locking with Taehyung for a split second.

"Good to see that you two are doing well" Somin suddenly exclaimed. If it wasn't for Junho who was standing here you would've ignored them for sure. But for the sake of your student, you stood quiet, put on the biggest fake smile you had as you chuckled.

Putting your hand on Jimin's chest, you leaned your head on his shoulder as if you were snuggling up to him. "We're doing totally well" you hated yourself for playing along, but at that moment the anger was boiling inside of you, overcoming you and the only thing you focused on was making them jealous. Jimin felt a slight jump in his heart as he looked down at you, your hand resting on his chest. He was afraid that you'd be able to feel his heartbeat. That's why he grabbed your hand tightly and pulled it a little lower.

"Ms Y/N! I have to get dressed!" Junho yelled as he started looking around the room, trying to find the dressing room.

"I will bring you to the dressing room," you said, letting go of Jimin's hand to grab Junho's hand. "I'll be right back" you smiled at Jimin and left with Junho. The little children were already changing into their clothes when you entered the room.

"Do you need help?" You asked Junho while he shook his head. "Alright then. I'm excited to watch you. You will do well!" You said, seeing him getting nervous. Just as you wanted to leave the room someone stomped in and closed the door. It was none other than Taehyung. Your facial expressions dropped and you wanted to walk past him to leave when he grabbed you by your upper arms to stop you.

"What kind of ridiculous game are you two playing?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow. You freed yourself and looked up at him.

"What game are you talking about?" You asked, trying to act as tough and serious as possible.

"Do you really expect me to believe your relationship nonsense?" He asked, chuckling sarcastically while he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't care what you believe in o not. I don't have to prove myself. Especially not to you" you hissed, trying to move past him again when he stopped you again. His grip tight around your wrist as he smiled slyly.

"I guess you're caring about what I believe. Either way, you wouldn't agree to this fake couple thing-" he hissed back while you rolled your eyes.

"Grow up!" You snapped at him. "You have a family to take care of! Why do you even care about my life?" Just as you finished your statement he grabbed your other wrist and pulled them to his chest. With that he pulled you closer to him, your face was so close to his. He stared intensely into your eyes, into your soul as if he was reading what was going through your mind right now.

"Do you want to know why?" He asked in a calm voice. The room filled with silence and you were happy that the kids were already on stage. He leaned his forehead on yours which made you wince in surprise. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply as you were holding your breath. You felt like you couldn't breathe anymore. Your heartbeat rising as you closed your eyes, fading away for this moment. Immediately, you backed away, pushing him away as you pulled your hands out of his grip.

"No. No" you whispered, trying to hold back your tears "I don't care why" you said while he stared at you in pain. His gaze fell on the floor while he moved a step to the right letting you go. Without thinking any further you moved past him and went to the restroom. You splashed water on your face, trying to calm yourself down.

Was it anger or frustration? You didn't know what happened to you anytime you two were left alone. You watched yourself in the mirror. No more tears, you had promised yourself to never cry for the same reason over and over again. You breathed in and turned around, walking into the assembly hall.

You saw Junho on the stage and smiled while coming closer for him to see you. He was desperately looking through the whole crowd. Obviously, he was looking for his parents who weren't present in the room. You searched for them but couldn't find them either. It was Junho's moment to show his skills and his one and only dialogue which he practiced for.

He stopped mid-sentence and looked through the whole crowd again. His eyes spotted yours and you smiled at him while giving him your thumbs up. He smiled weakly and said his part confidently. You were proud of him even though you knew that he was feeling very uncomfortable at that moment. The show finished and you went into the dressing room where the children would take off their costumes.

"Junho!!" You chuckled while running up to him. He hugged you tightly and smiled at you. "Thank you" he mumbled while lifting his head. At that moment the door opened and his mother stomped into the room. She furiously grabbed Junho's wrist and tried to drag him out.

"You're hurting him!" You yelled at her, seeing the sudden pain in Junho's eyes.

"Don't tell me what to do. He's my son!" She shouted back and dragged him out of the room. "We're going home, Junho!" She said and pulled him out. You ran after them, trying to figure out what happened. At the same moment, Taehyung stomped furiously out of the hall. You couldn't recognize his face at all. Looking around the room you tried to find Jimin who was absent the whole performance. Suddenly something made sense.

Your eyes widened and you ran into the direction where Taehyung came from. Your heart sank as you saw Jimin on the ground. Running up to him, you kneeled down and lifted him up. His nose was bleeding making you feel even more guilty because everything was your fault.

"Shit! It's all my fault! I am so sorry" you muttered in sorrow, tears filling up your eyes. You knew that you shouldn't have used him for your own problems. Nonetheless, Jimin put on a smile that amazed you.

"I'm fine, don't worry" he lifted his head to prevent the blood flow. You helped him to stand up and walked him to the nursing room of the school. He sat down on the nursing bed while you took some tissues and grabbed your needs to treat his wound on his cheekbone. He hissed in pain while you were cleaning his wound.

"It was Taehyung, right?" you asked him, getting no answer. "I already know the answer" you whispered, trying to control your anger while you treated his wound.

"This idiot! Why did he do that?" you turned to the first aid kit to get some plaster which was hard to found. You threw all the first aids over the place in anger to find a plaster that you put on his wound. Nodding to yourself you dozed off, your mind filling with questions and assumptions as to why that happened.

"Y/N, don't worry I'm okay " he chuckled, grabbing your hand as he turned you around to face him.

"How can you be so calm and nice about what he has done to you? I don't understand how you can be so good-hearted, after everything he did to you-" he cut you off.

"I could ask you the same question" immediately, you looked down, feeling weird for a split second and then smiling faintly. He was right but you promised yourself to change. You promised to not cry for the same reason again.

He noticed how silent you got and grabbed your hands. "I didn't mean it like that, Y/N. I'm sor-" just as he wanted to apologize you cut him off.

"No, you're right. I- I don't know what to say actually ..." you stared into his eyes.

"I am sorry. It's still my fault, though. I shouldn't have acted as if you were my boyfriend just because I wanted to make them suffer. That doesn't even affect them-" you said, stopping at the intense stare of Jimin. He was thinking about saying something. Biting his lip, he squeezed your hands tightly and pulled you a little closer to himself. He opened his mouth and stopped himself, thinking about how what he was about to say will affect your relationship with him. This time you waited until he talked. Taking a deep breath he stared into your eyes.

"What if I like the idea of being your boyfriend?"

___

taglist:   @abehavedtinychild  @helloitsai  @honeycutelove @jordank139 @amongtheflauwers  @ximaginx  @rjsmochii  @my-yehet-is-your-ohorat @sinnehe  @simplykiersten  @uwuteamleader  @d-noona @officially-emo @odditiesanddeities @moon6rop @readbeneaththelines @imagining-constantly @somewhereinthestarss @saikohori @itsxquxxn @till-the-end-oftheline @salty-for-suga  @scvkjinrecs @srwbry​ @homeorbust​ @letholigicablogs​ 

[jlf23tumble]

Hi jen! I know usually anons have specific requests but could you rec me a couple of fics ? Just something you think it's really great! I'm not feeling too well and i need to get out of my head for a while. (Thank you in advance!)

oOh, mannnn, that sucks, but I feel ya!! This is mildly tricky but also incredibly easy: you don’t necessarily need or want anything super angsty or kinky because you don’t feel great, and canon’s probably a no go (which is a shame, I’d be rec’ing that pube fic HARD bleepin’ CORE), so you need some good AU material that’ll err on the side of distraction, methinks. Because I’ll bet that you’ve read most of these, I’m gonna give you a few more than two, and if you HAVE read ‘em all anyway, come back over and tell me a little bit more about some parameters, and I’ll do another pass. These are just off the top of my head, but I can search with the best of ‘em, goddammit, even my own spotty bookmarking. Under the wiggly line, in no particular order.

Tuxedo Dress-Up, by Blake/ @newleafover, 11k, E. Louis is an aspiring song writer by day, a make up artist for drag queens by night, and masquerading as a full time real estate agent for his third most famous (and first most handsome) client Harry Styles.Or, five times they fail to fuck in a closet, and one time they get it right. (I will not rest until everyone has read this one!!!! I can rec it for pretty much every single scenario, and I barely restrain myself, I’m telling you)

Sing You Butterflies, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 22k, E. Harry’s a clumsy unicorn who accidentally stomps on a witch’s garden and is turned into a human as punishment, so he wanders into a nearby village covered in glitter, still figuring out how to walk on two feet, and meets the fairy-tale-fine Louis, who has to teach him how to live as a human and stop him from eating soap. (I’m putting two from Phoenix on here, but rest assured I’d rec all of hers, too, this is just an adorable fantastical story that completely immerses you in another world that’s still rooted in this one? talent, I tell ya...and I HIGHLY recommend all of P’s fic, she’s writing drabbles in so many universes if you want to explore)

Take Me Under the Blue, by objectlesson, 19k, E. Louis hasn’t even seen his legs yet. He doesn’t know how they work or how long they’ll be. Maybe they won’t suit the rest of Harry at all, and he’ll have to grow into them or something. It doesn’t matter; Louis has loved Harry for a year with scales, so he can’t imagine wonky legs putting a damper on his attraction.He supposes he’ll just have to find out. In the meantime, he wonders how the fuck he got here, in his squelching wellies about to save the love of his life from the sea and take him to bed and bang him for the very first time.It’s sort of a long story. (when I heard about this one before editing, I was scurred...but it’s so fucking GOOD, I’d read so many more installments, and I say this as someone who hates fish dick stories, p.s., there’s no fish dick)

just call me inspiration, by @hereforlou, 51k, E. The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world. Or, the one where Louis is a writer, Harry is an art student, and they inspire each other in very different ways. (Just me as Liam, that’s all I’ll say)

Tied Down, by @ham-palpert, 48k, E. The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated. (A twisty mystery, and all is NOT as it seems, so read the tags and push through chapter 1; it’s more of a tense drama, if you want to go down that path)

Alien Roadtrip!, by @helloamhere, 16k words, E. For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind. Or roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous. (great dialogue and miles of smiles/laffs in this one, plus you can pretend it’s related to that area 51 nonsense if you really want to)

I’m reading a couple of WIPs that might pull you in, too:

Harry Styles Cooks..., by @sunsetmog, 52k, E. In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker.Or: Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them. (this one is updating fairly slowly, but that’s okay, it’s literally Christmas every time I get that nota, AGGRESSIVE SIGHING OVER HOW MUCH I GRIN LIKE A LOON WHEN I READ EACH INSTALLMENT)

Cards Are Dealt, by @loutmlnsn, 26k, E. Louis likes his life; he likes his job, he likes his house, he likes his town and he loves his cat. It’s not exciting, per say, but it’s comfortable, predictable and quiet. It’s normal. It’s what Louis has always wanted out of life. What Louis never wanted out of life was an A-list actor for a neighbour, who at first glance appears to possess all the values that Louis detests in a human being. An AU in which Louis is a nurse, Harry is an actor, and first impressions matter just as much as everyone keeps saying. (I’m actually reading a few wips, but I tend to notice when they update...I don’t bookmark them until they’re done, though, and this last one just updated yesterday, so check it out! Harry Styles Cooks is my fave wip of all time, I will never forget I’m following it, lmao)

[alovelymoonbeam]

A Christmas Carol (Ch 1)

I really loved Virgil’s idea of a Sander’s Sides Christmas Carol, so I decided to write it myself, featuring Logan as Scrooge, Deceit as Marley, Patton as the Ghost of Christmas Past, Roman as the Ghost of Christmas Present, and Virgil as the Ghost of Christmas Future. Let me know what you think! 

TW: I can’t think of any, except that Logan’s a jerk (but please let me know if I should add anything)

Editing: who’s she? never heard of her.

On Christmas Eve, the Mind Palace was buzzing with excitement and activity. In the common area of the mental equivalent of Thomas’s apartment, Patton, Virgil, and Roman were each preparing for the upcoming holiday in their own ways. Patton was baking Christmas cookies in the kitchen, while belting out every Christmas song he could think of. Roman was watching Hallmark movies, and occasionally joining in for the choruses of Patton’s carols. Virgil was at the kitchen table, rereading his favorite Christmas story.

The entire apartment had been covered in more decorations than the physical version would ever have, due to Thomas’s budget. But having no such constraints as money, and no need  to worry about electric bills in the Mind Palace, Roman had decorated as extravagantly as possible. Lights were strung from every surface. The halls were decked with boughs of holly. Mistletoe hung from every doorway. And in the middle of the living room was a beautiful Christmas tree (though the smell of pine had been enhanced, in order to allow it to spread to every corner of the Mind Palace).

Underneath said tree were gifts to and from each of the sides. Patton had made sure that everyone was included this year. There was even a yellow and black package, addressed to a certain slimy boi (“You never know, kiddos,” Patton had said with a smile. “He might accept the invitation this year.” When Roman had protested, saying that Deceit was evil, Patton had only smiled, and said that everyone deserved a Christmas present, further confirming the theory that he was actually an angel).

Along with Roman’s extravagantly perfect decorations, Patton had made sure to include a few of Thomas’s favorite Christmas decorations from when he was a child as well, and Virgil added his own touches wherever he saw fit, (when asked why by Roman, he responded that it was “to make sure you don’t turn the Mind Palace into something out of a terrible Hallmark movie”).

Everyone was getting into the Christmas spirit this year. With the exception of a certain logical side. While the other three were in the common area of Thomas’s apartment, Logan was in his room, working on a plan for the new year. Thomas was determined to complete his resolutions for the upcoming year, and the only way that would happen was if Logan reviewed them, made sure they were completely achievable, and then proceeded to make a plan for how to go about achieving them. And while the other sides might have decided that they deserved a few days off to celebrate Christmas, Logan was not going to let a silly and meaningless holiday get in the way of his work.

However, the other sides holly jolly nonsense was making it awfully hard to do said work. Although the door was closed, he could still here Roman and Patton’s overly dramatic rendition of Let it Snow perfectly, which was making it very hard to concentrate on the task at hand. It didn’t help that their antics were causing Thomas to lose focus and motivation to think about Logan’s plans, in favor of daydreaming with Roman or reminiscing with Patton. The longer the day wore on, the more Logan’s irritation with the upcoming holiday and the ‘hype’ surrounding it grew.

He’d almost managed to figure out a satisfactory schedule in which Thomas wouldn’t have to lose sleep in order to finish editing his videos when an unwelcome visitor burst through the door, singing It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.

Logan was so startled by the unexpected intrusion, that his hand, seemingly of its own accord, flew across the page, the pen in his hand ruining the neatness of the paper. Angrily, he turned from his work in time to see Roman as he dramatically finished the verse.

“Merry Christmas, Specs!” Roman said, boisterous as always.

“Humbug,” Logan muttered under his breath, then to Roman said “What is the reason for you so rudely barging into my room?”

“Patton was getting worried about you,” Roman answered. “It's Christmas Eve, and we haven’t seen you all day.”

“Well, I see no reason to discontinue my essential work because it's the day before a holiday,” Logan said.

“A holiday? A holiday???” Roman said, in the offended way that made Logan groan inside, knowing the prince was about to issue forth a monologue based purely in his feelings on the holiday, with no facts involved.

“Christmas is more than just an ordinary holiday, Logan. It is a time of the year that is magical. It is the time of the year when we stand together, and give, and love. It is the time of year to be with family. It's when humans everywhere come together, and just try to make the world a little bit brighter and warmer and kinder, when it is at its harshest and coldest and cruelest. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas is much more than a simple holiday!”

Anyone else might have been filled with the Christmas spirit at such a lovely speech on Christmas. Logan, however, felt his annoyance rising.

“Once again, you are using flowery language to hide the fact that your argument has no basis,” said Logan.

“Wait, do you really think that what I said was wrong?” Roman asked, confused.

“Yes,” Logan answered. “While holidays such as Christmas might be fun, they aren’t half as important as you make them out to be. Sure, they are a time to get together with family and friends, which I admit is important for Thomas’s mental health, but ultimately, they are days, just like any other, only on these days we decide that it's okay to ignore our personal health in favor of eating sweets and going to bed at unreasonable hours. Any importance they might hold only exists because we say they do.”

“Alright, I know we don’t normally get along all that well, Logan, but it's Christmas! Surely you don’t think so little of such an amazing holiday,” Roman said.

“I assure you, I do, and please don’t call me Shirley. Now I would appreciate it if you would leave my room, and allow me to continue my work,” Logan answered.

“Oh….well, alright then,” Roman said, deflatedly sinking out. Had Logan been anyone else, he might’ve felt a smidgen of guilt at Roman’s expression as he left, but being Logic, he didn’t feel at all. Had he been less stubborn, he might’ve acknowledged that that was a lie.

Instead, he got back to work, pulling out a new sheet of paper, and copying the schedule that had been ruined when Roman had startled him. However, a moment later, his work was interrupted again, when someone else rose into his room.

“What is it, Virgil?” he asked.

“How’d you know it was me?” Virgil asked, sitting on a chair next to Logan’s desk.

“A simple process of elimination. Roman was just in here, and it is unlikely that he would come back so soon, Patton is much more energetic and loud when he enters my room, and I can see no reason why any of the ‘dark sides,’ as Roman has dubbed the others would be here. Therefore, it could only be you.” Logan looked up from his work once again. “Now, to restate my original question, what do you need?”

Virgil groaned, and curled himself into a form as similar to a sphere as a human could get. “I don’t know what to get Patton for Christmas and I know I should have gotten him something weeks ago, but I can’t think of anything and he deserves something amazing and I don’t know what to do because Christmas is tomorrow!” he said into his arms.

“Virgil, you know that you could give Patton literally anything that isn’t a spider, and he will love it,” Logan said, doing his best to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

“What?” said Virgil, uncurling the slightest bit.

“You could literally go into his room, find one of his own cardigans, gift that to him, and he would behave as if you had given him the world. Come back when you have an actual problem.”

“He’s not stupid,” Virgil said angrily. “He’s just as smart as you, maybe even more so, you’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

“I agree with your statement that Patton isn’t stupid, however, saying that he is anywhere near my level of intelligence is a complete falsehood,” Logan said, no longer managing to keep the anger out of his voice.

“Geez, L, all I wanted was to give Patton a meaningful gift! Why do you have to act like this? It's freaking Christmas!” Virgil said, standing angrily.

“I have already been informed of that fact by Roman,” Logan said stiffly.

“Well maybe I’ll ask him for help instead! At least he actually cares about Patton and Christmas,” Virgil said, sinking out.

Logan briefly wondered why everyone seemed to be getting so upset about Christmas, but dismissed the thought, instead refocusing Thomas’s attention onto the editing schedule he had worked out. It was much easier now than it had been before, seeing as the others were no longer diverting his attention.

He managed to get Thomas’s approval, and move on to the next element of his long to do list. He didn’t get very far before there was a third interruption in his work.

“We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, and a--” Patton was cut off by Logan flinging the door open.

“Patton, if I wanted to be constantly interrupted in my work by your silliness, I would have chosen to work in the common area, where you could burst into Christmas songs, and be a much more effective distraction.”

“I-I’m sorry Lo. I just thought-”

“Falsehood. You didn’t think. You never think. If it weren’t for silly, sentimental, stupid people like you, I wouldn’t have to deal with meaningless holidays that serve no purpose other than to give Thomas an excuse not to work.”

Tears collected in the corners of Patton’s eyes. Even Logan couldn’t ignore the feelings of guilt that crept in with the hurt on sweet Patton’s face.

“I’m not….I’m not stupid, Logan,” Patton said quietly. “I just thought that maybe you could use a break. It is Christmas after all.”

Before Logan could say anything in reply, Patton sunk out.

[cutieodonoghue]

i'm missing you like crazy

summary: based on this prompt: “Established long distance relationship, one of them surprises the other by showing up right before midnight [on New Years Eve].” with a side helping of vloggers au! (a mixture of angst and fluff beyond this point)

word count: ~3600

an: happy first day of au week! I probably won’t post very much this week due to juggling way too many mcs, but I hope you enjoy this humble offering that I sort of threw together last night. :)

Emma Swan sits in her favorite booth wearing her favorite slightly oversized sweater with her favorite drink at her favorite diner, across from one of her closest friends, Mary Margaret Nolan.

 Mary Margaret has a sweet smile on her lips as she chats about the goings-on in her life, including but not limited to the newly acquired husband Emma had thought Mary Margaret would stop talking about post-wedding.

 Turns out, love is inescapable. So is the impending feeling of sadness and guilt over her own love life.

“So is Killian coming back for New Years at least? I know he missed Christmas.”

 Emma takes a sip of her hot chocolate and avoids looking at Mary Margaret. “Uh… no, actually. He has to stay in London for a few more weeks. Making a movie is kind of hard, it turns out.”

 Mary Margaret frowns deeply. “Oh. Emma, I didn’t-”

 “It’s okay,” Emma forces a smile. She glances down at the table at her camera. “We knew it was going to be hard.” She sucks in a breath as she lifts her camera. “You want to be in the vlog today?”

 Mary Margaret nods, ever the passionately helpful friend. “Sure. I’d love that.”

 Emma fidgets with the camera until she has it recording. She holds it out to Mary Margaret. “Just hold this for the intro?”

 “Oh, yes. Of course.”

 Emma clears her throat and smiles wide at the camera’s lens. “Hey, Ducklings! Look what I did today.”

 Mary Margaret’s smiling behind the camera, and it encourages Emma’s grin to stay for a few seconds before she giggles and Mary Margaret does too.

 Usually, she does these introductions on her own- at her apartment or on the sidewalk as she goes for a morning walk with her puppy.

 She likes to keep things personal, but not too personal. It’s her one rule about doing this thing. It’s probably why she hasn’t come clean to her audience about Killian just yet, no matter how obvious she is to some degree.

 She has a modest following, having started as a little self-defense channel that somehow grew into her giving no-nonsense advice and vlogging during her off-days.

 Somehow, Killian found her channel and gave her a shout out in one of his videos. It’s what started their friendly banter on Twitter, that somehow grew into her giving him her number, which grew into them needing to meet in person at Vidcon six months ago.

 They’ve been together since.

 He’d recently decided to move to New York, so it worked for their blossoming relationship. They made videos together, one even amassing nearly six million views, and discovered a fan base had risen from nowhere claiming they knew they’d be a couple, even if they still haven’t said anything official about their relationship.

 It was wonderful and good and she never felt more at home than when she was with him. Until he got the insane opportunity to go work on a movie in London with his older brother Liam.

 He’d asked her to come with him, of course he did, but she had to stay because of her day job. Even though he’s sunk his teeth and living into putting his life online, Emma hasn’t been brave enough just yet.

 So, it’s been three months of long distance, and three months of daily vlogging because she misses him. Three months wondering if they’re incredibly stupid thinking this will even work.

 “So Mary Margaret and I are having hot chocolate,” Emma says. She holds the camera in front of her face and turns it to look at her friend.

 Mary Margaret smiles and waves.

 “And gossiping about Killian and his movie.” Emma turns the lens to look at herself. “It’s been so long since we’ve seen you! I hope you at least bring me a souvenir when you come back.”

 Mary Margaret laughs. “I’m sure he will.”

 “Who knows if he even watches my vlogs. Sometimes I think he pretends to.” Emma shrugs at the lens in an attempt at humor.

 Mary Margaret laughs again.

 “Anyway, we’re having hot chocolate and after this, we’re going to pick up some party supplies because New Years is in three days.”

 “Balloons!” Mary Margaret sings excitedly. “Lots and lots of balloons!”

 ///

 Emma sits on her bed, the cool glow of her laptop in front of her a contrast to the warm lamp on her nightstand. She’s editing today’s vlog and at the same time listening to her roommate Ruby, who lays down on the foot of her bed as she does most nights.

 Meanwhile, her puppy lies curled up at her side, enjoying being in her company regardless of the fact that she’s not giving her any attention.

 “Anyway. That’s my daily drama with Granny. How’s your life?” Ruby asks. She’s playing with one of Emma’s throw pillows, tossing it in the air above her face and catching it again.

 Emma sighs. She looks up from her laptop and frowns. “I miss Killian.”

 Ruby stops what she’s doing and stares quietly at the ceiling as Emma scrubs over the timeline so she can make a cut.

 “Emma, you should just fly out to London and surprise him.”

 Emma looks up from her laptop and gives Ruby a look. “How would that be a good idea?”

 “Uh…” Ruby pulls herself up so she’s sitting and then turns toward Emma, folding her legs in the process. “Let me think… right. He vlogged about you for a solid three minutes today. Publicly confessed his love for you. Clearly, he misses you too.”

 “What?” Emma’s heart skips a beat and she feels a blush crawl into her cheeks as she clicks into her browser so she can check his video of the day.

 He’s sitting in his hotel room when it opens, looking like he’d gotten exactly two hours of sleep, and he scrubs a hand over his face and into his hair so he can jut it outwards with his fingers like he does as a force of habit when he’s looking for the words to say.

 “Good morning.” He smiles wide. Her heart flutters and she watches him sit up more. “It is Tuesday,” He sighs heavily. “And I miss Emma Swan.”

 Her heart aches at his words.

 It cuts to his intro, a brief title card with rock music, and then back to him.

 “I hope you’ll forgive me for using this medium to communicate when I could very well just call you up right now, Swan, but I need a video for the channel and you probably need your rest.”

 Emma laughs softly to herself and draws her knee up against her chest. She rests her cheek against her leg.

 “So things have been going very well with the movie,” he tells the camera. “Um…” He glances over at his room, contemplating his next words. “Yeah. Just very good. I’m proud of it. I think you’ll all love it. Not just Emma.”

 He smiles and stares at the camera lens, as if he can see her. “I just miss home. I miss you, Swan. I miss the puppy.”

 She rolls her eyes at the glint of pride in his eyes. This is the first time either of them have been public about their relationship in any capacity. He presses his tongue between his lips for a second.

 “I feel awful that I’ve been over here for so long.” Killian says with a glance away from the lens.

 He pauses and she can tell his heart hurts. He seems to fight for emotional control for a second and forces a slight smile that falls away before he puts his hand over his eyes.

 “Apologies. I just… it’s hard, if I’m honest. Making this movie means so much to me, but it’s not easy. It’s demanding. It’s stressful. And I just wish I could be in two places at once.”

 Emma swallows at the lump forming in her throat. Tears burn beneath the surface and she sucks in a heavy breath.

 “I should be done very soon,” he tells the camera, and she knows he’s talking straight to her. “And the moment I am, rest assured I’ll be much happier and less… like this.” He laughs in spite of himself. “Um… Emma, I hope you had a good day today. I miss you more than words can say.”

 Emma nods as if he can see her. She’s keenly aware of Ruby still sitting at the edge of her bed, so she pauses the video, resolving to watch the rest later, and looks up at her.

 “Hey,” Ruby says softly. “You okay?”

 Emma shakes her head. She bites her tongue for a few seconds. “Help me look for flights?”

 A grin spreads on her roommate’s face. “Hell yeah.”

 ///

Killian: Just so you know I do watch your vlogs every day. (winking face with stuck-out tongue)

Emma: I knew it! (red heart)

///

He misses her something sore.

 He spends each day counting down the minutes until he can get a minute to himself and watch her vlogs, followed by at the very least a conversation over text before he falls asleep.

 Thankfully, the time difference isn’t dreadful for them. When he’s getting ready for bed, she’s usually still enjoying the afternoon. Though, in the mornings he sometimes wishes he could text her about his dreams but he worries he’ll wake her.

 Soon, he’s promised himself. Soon he’ll go home to her and never leave her side again. Maybe he’ll persuade her to quit that job of hers and travel the world with him instead.

 It’s getting ahead of things, he knows. She’s been very good at letting him in and letting their relationship take its natural course. He knows it doesn’t come naturally to her- love- so getting to call her his is enough for now.

 Killian skims through his social media accounts. He reads the comments on his last two videos, the vlog about Emma and the one he’d posted today about nothing in particular, and his heart squeezes tight because most of them seem to assume that he and Emma are dating, or at the very least need to.

 Twitter is wrought with shippers, so he’s not surprised in the least to find all of the giddy mentions or pictures of he and Emma from his and her Instagrams.

 Miles and miles and miles apart and he still finds that he loves her more and more with every passing day.

 Killian checks the time before he calls Emma on Facetime. It rings a few times, as always, but she answers.

 She’s sitting in her bedroom, on her bed with the puppy at her side. She leans her head against her shoulder and smiles at him softly as she scratches Buttercup’s furry side.

 “Hey,”

 Killian feels at least a thousand times better, getting to see her like this. He smiles in kind. “Hey, Swan.”

 Emma shifts. She pulls their puppy in front of her so he can see. “Say hi to daddy, Buttercup.”

 Buttercup sniffs at her camera and they both laugh. Emma pulls the pup away and settles her down again.

 “Gods, I miss you!” Killian groans. “What have you been up to? How’s Mary Margaret and the party plans?”

 Emma takes a soft breath. “Well, Ruby and I just received a package that was supposed to be delivered to Creepy Next Door Guy.”

 Killian grimaces. “Yeah?”

 “Yeah,” Emma shivers. She rubs Buttercup’s side. “And Mary Margaret made us go over for dinner last night, so that was exciting. We’re still getting through Christmas leftovers.”

 He can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He’d desperately wanted to be there. He actually had purchased a ticket, but then things on his end changed and he wouldn’t be able to make the flight.

 “Well, that sounds like fun.”

 Emma shrugs. “It was alright.” She stares at him and he can see the cogs moving behind her eyes. “I watched your video about me.”

 His heart skips a beat. “Oh?”

 Emma nods. A small smile itches at the corners of her lips. “I miss you too. A lot.” She shakes her head. “I wish we didn’t have to do this. I’m so… it’s hard.”

 “I know.” Killian sighs. He adjusts his computer slightly where it sits on his knees and shifts so he lies down with his laptop on his belly. “Sorry for the angle, love. Hold on.”

 Emma laughs a little. He moves his computer to the spot on his bed beside him and turns to his side.

 “It’s really late there,” she says. “You sure you want to be talking right now? Don’t you have to do stuff in the morning?”

 Killian scoffs. “I don’t care. I want to see you.”

 Emma falls quiet. “Yeah.”

 He thinks he could just watch her sit there quietly all night. It would be enough, and at the same time not enough at all.

 “Do you have New Year’s off?”

 “Aye,” Killian sighs. “Can’t manage a flight though. I promise I’ve tried.”

 “I know.” Emma replies sadly. “I just… I miss you.”

 “I miss you too.” Killian murmurs. He examines her face as best he can through webcam resolution. “I desperately wish I could give you a proper New Year’s kiss.”

 His girlfriend’s eyes fall closed and she smiles to herself as she glances away from him and at Buttercup instead. She lifts the puppy close and cuddles her.

 “It’s alright. Buttercup can give me a kiss.”

 Killian laughs. He drags a hand over his face and says tiredly, “Way to ruin a romantic moment, Swan.”

 Emma rolls her eyes before straightening out again. She sets the dog down on her bed again and leans in toward her computer. “What’s a proper New Year’s kiss like?”

 Killian’s eyebrows raise. He smirks. “Well, for starters, it would require us being in the same room.”

 Emma hums. “Okay.”

 “On New Year’s Eve,” he adds. “And… as the clock counted down from ten, we would find each other and I would wrap my arm around you.”

 She smiles. “And I would put my arms around your neck so I could run my fingers through your hair.”

 Killian grins warmly. “And we’d stare into one another’s eyes.”

 He stares at Emma for a moment, finding her captured by the tale. His tongue darts out and he licks his lips as his gaze shifts from her eyes to her lips.

 His voice lowers, “And the moment the clock hit midnight, I would lift you into my arms and hold you impossibly close as I kissed you until we couldn’t breathe anymore.”

 Emma’s eyes fall closed for a moment. Her eyes meet his and her lips part as if she has something to say. She holds onto it for a moment and seems to make a mental retreat. “Well. It’s too bad I’m in New York and you’re in London, isn’t it?”

 Killian can see she’s breaking. So is he.

 “Aye,” he breathes. “I can’t say I prefer it this way.”

 “Me either.”

 ///

 Killian smiles wide at the camera he holds out in front of him. He’s standing on his balcony watching the New Year’s Eve traffic.

 “It’s under half an hour until midnight. Look at all of these people.” Killian turns the camera to look out at what he sees. “Bloody chaos!”

 He turns the camera inside his little hotel apartment, where members of his crew are hanging out. Liam’s laughing with the main actor of the film and it’s a lively affair. Everyone seems to be having a good time.

 Secretly, or maybe not-so-secretly, he wishes he could be in America right now. With Emma.

 Even a quiet night in her apartment while they watch the ball drop on television seems more exciting than staying up another two or three hours with these people in his hotel room.

 On a sigh, he bites on his lip and shuts the camera off. He’ll probably go film with Liam a little later, but for now, he just wants to stand in the cold night without a jacket on and just feel the chill in his bones.

 He grabs his phone from his pocket and presses his thumb over Emma’s name in his contacts to call her. It’s only seven or so where she is, so he figures the party should only just be starting with Mary Margaret and David.

 It takes a few rings, but she answers.

 “Hey!” she says brightly. “I was just thinking about you.”

 Killian can’t help but smile. “Aye. Me too. What are you up to?”

 “I… am…” Emma pauses and he can hear her grunt. “Sorry. I was just helping Mary Margaret with something. The party will be starting any second.”

 He hums warmly. “Sounds like fun.”

 Emma hums skeptically. “Well, I guess we’ll see.”

 He can hear her step out of the room- there’s a big change in environment. Instead of a slightly busy echo, he hears a vastly more distinct outdoors.

 “Where are you?” he teases.

 “Outside,” she laughs. “I need to get some air before the fun.”

 Killian chuckles. He reaches up to scratch beneath his ear. “I wish I could be there. I really do. It’s just… wild here. We’re down to two weeks of major editing and then from there we can do virtual work and pop-ins every few weeks or so.”

 Emma snorts. “Pop-ins, huh?”

 Killian rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. I promise it won’t take too much of me from you.”

 “Uh huh. Oh, geez. I have to go. Mary Margaret is giving me a death glare.”

 His heart sinks sadly. “Oh. Okay. I’ll… probably text you in a few minutes when I’m in the future.”

 “Do not spoil what happens, Killian!” she teases.

 Killian can’t help but laugh. “I won’t.”

 “Good.” Emma says calmly. “Okay. I’ll call later when I’m free. Bye.”

 “Bye.”

 On a heavy sigh, Killian hangs up his phone and sticks it back into his pocket. He stares out at the world around him and then has a seat on the couch and fidgets with his camera instead of going in and reminding himself of why he wishes he could be home with his girlfriend.

 ///

 The thing she hadn’t realized when booking her flight was just how crowded the city would be at this hour of the night.

 Thankfully, she knows Killian’s hotel room number and it isn’t as awkward with nobody really looking at her as she books it across the lobby toward the elevators.

 It’s three minutes to midnight and she needs to make it for that magical moment when this part of the world celebrates the new year.

 She catches a glimpse of herself in a mirror as she’s waiting for the elevator to come down and grimaces. She looks like she’s been on a plane all day, which is exactly where she’s been.

 The elevator dings.

 Emma looks at it and shakes her head as she steps forward.

 Killian won’t care. He’ll just be glad to see her again. Just like she’s going to be glad to see him again.

 ///

 The party’s attention goes to the television, where the countdown reveals just a minute remains in this year.

 Killian stands off to the side, silently appreciative of the couples that have formed an agreement to share the first kiss of the year. It being his first New Years with Emma, he’d thought he’d get this moment with her, but instead, he’ll have to wait a year. He supposes it could be worse.

 He’s filming, as any good vlogger should, and tries to find the best place to set the lens on for when midnight hits. He thinks his viewers would probably like to see him, but he can’t really muster the strength for a show at the moment when he’d rather sulk about Emma not being here.

 “Ten!”

 Liam smiles at him and his lens from across the room. He manages one back before his brother turns to his wife.

 “Nine!”

 Killian downs a sip of his rum and licks his lips as he redirects the camera to the television screen.

 “Eight!”

 Killian’s eye catches the door when it jerks open ever so slightly.

 “Seven!”

 He sees a head of blonde and emerald green eyes shining back at him. His heart jumps.

 “Six!”

 He crosses the room, unable to speak. His camera comes with him, lens focused on Emma.

 “Five!”

 She smiles at him. He grins back.

 “Four!”

 He reaches her. He settles his arm around her middle before hers wrap around his neck. He has the camera held out so it can see both of them. If not for the vlog, he’ll want to remember this himself years down the road.

 “Three!”

 “What the bloody hell are you doing here?” he manages to ask.

 “Two!”

 She smiles coyly, fingers tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck. “I wanted my New Year’s kiss.”

 “One!”

 He steadies himself, unable to keep from kissing her for another second.

 “Happy New Year!”

 He leans in for the kiss, heart racing, smile wide, as he lifts her into his arms, her toes pushing up while laughter buzzes happily on his lips.

 He doesn’t stop kissing her until he’s out of air, and even then he rests his forehead against hers. She brushes her fingers against his cheeks and cups his face in her hands.

 “Happy New Year indeed.”

[nancypullen]

Nonsense

When I was a kid that’s what my mother used to call me instead of Nancy - Nonsense.  Little did she know how aptly nicknamed I was, or maybe she did know and was making the best of it.  Of course I was also called Lucy Belle and Trouble. My dad used to sing this song when I walked into a room.

That all crowded into my head this morning because I was spending a bit of creative time - dabbling in writing, then designing a couple of new tags, that sort of thing.  I had a moment of weakness when I thought that I shouldn’t be wasting my time on nonsense, that I should be doing something more productive.  But ya’ know what?  These activities keep me from killing people.  Given the insane state of our government right now (no, I won’t go on a rant today), nearly every headline blaring bad news, the Tennessee legislature trying to take us back fifty years, etc - some quiet time with just my imagination for company is exactly what I need.  That means it’s not nonsense, it’s therapy, right?  It also keeps me from snacking so that’s a plus.   This rainy morning was perfect for writing a few pages.  I can’t say that they were all good, but it’s progress.  Part of writing is rewriting.  One of the gifts that the mister gave me for Christmas was a subscription to MasterClass and it’s been incredible.  You can learn from some of the greatest minds in various categories - everything from tech to, you guessed it, writing.  There are printable worksheets and assignments and classes are divided into segments that you can watch at your leisure. So far I’ve learned a great deal from Judy Blume and David Sedaris. Discipline is key and has never been my strong suit.  The advice is always the same, write every day.  You can edit a bad page but you can’t edit a blank page.  This little blog is not where I do my best writing.  This is where I empty my head.  I sit down in front of the ol’ laptop and all of the thoughts that have been banging around in my brain fall out. My apologies.  I hope that the projects I’m working on prove to be better than this melting pot of half-formed ideas. And speaking of ideas, most of mine come from personal experience - usually embarrassing moments or a series of events that turned hilarious.  Rarely do I draw upon any moments of triumph, first of all they’re not all that funny, and secondly I’ve had so few.  I’d be out of material in no time.  Maybe that’s why I created this little girl’s tag today.  This has been a real issue for me here in the south.

I can’t tell you how many prayers I’ve chewed through.   Heathen problems. Apart from the nonsense I’m creating, here’s an update on the cat bed situation.  Phoebe never had a chance.  No sooner was it out of the box than Molly claimed it.  She was thrilled, like she’d been waiting her whole life for a bed of her own.  Phoebe just glared at us from atop the cable box.

Maybe that glare was because we were watching the Westminster dog show. I don’t know.  Either way, I think I’ll invest in another little bed and see if I can’t convince her to use it. There it is, the hump day update from Casa de Pullen.  Nothing but nonsense going on here and that’s just the way we like it.  I hope you embrace every silly bit of frivolity that comes your way today.  Lighten up and lighten your load. XOXO

[frmdarts-blog]

SPRING DAY - Vkook fiction

Note:

I dont mean to write fic actually. I was about to change my VKOOK spring day fanart video caption on my utube channel. I want to make a short poem but ended up making this short fic about them. I cant write a story in english actually (i’m still lacking in so many many ways). This is breaking all the writting rules bcs i dont think much about grammar, i’m really terrible at it LOL.

But i hope you can get the points.

Its just a simple story with simple choosen words, its very obvious, you dont have to search on google to know the meaning because once again i cant write in beautiful way.

I just meant to give a short drama for my fanart video. Just the story behind.

So lets begin!

‘,’,’,’,’,’SPRING DAY,’,’,’,’,’,’,’

Author: Frmd

Characters: Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung (Vkook)

= =

Jungkook’s point of view

= =

When will this winter come to an end? The air is as cold as usual. Even the 3 layers clothes i am wearing doesnt help much. People are busy chatting with their partner. Some talking about their planning to go holiday on the day of spring. Some talking about some cheezy-bullshit words of love. Some just doing a simple talk like “what are we gonna eat for lunch?” Even in this crowded train, i’m still searching for your voice. Just in case i could find your voice-the voice that i’ve known very well. The voice that i havent heard since last christmas.

Just in case i could meet you here unexpectedly. Just in case i’m lucky enough today. I’m still searching for that miracle. (After doing it like everytime i take this damn train)

Searching mode is finally on

I close my eyes to begin the search (?). Now the sound of the crowd is slowly getting smaller and is fading. The sound of your laughter is getting louder. And then your face is getting more obvious in my imagination. Now you are standing beside me, in front of the train’s door to be exact. I’m started to imagine that you are laughing. Your half face is filled by the rectangle shape of your mouth-which is so adorably cute (thats my fave).

And then about the heavy sound of your breathe that i could hear very well when you lean your head on my shoulder. It is somehow ticklish to me. But i like it for no reason. And then you keep talking about everything outside the window that catch your attention. Then you laugh as you start talking about some nonsense things. (Even if its hard enough to swallow, it seems fine for me. Everything you do will be fine for me. As long as it is you, hyung). Then it comes to the part when you feel tired of talking. You suddenly keep in silent for a while, grab my hand and hold it tight to warm both of us. I could feel the warmth of your wide hand palm. I could feel your finger playing with mine I could feel you inside my soul now.

I feel warm for no reason.

This search is failed due to my distracted mind.

I must be out of my mind now. = =

Taehyung’s point of view

= =

Why is it so quiet here? I’ve been walking for an hour to get here. I woke up late today (the alarm failed to wake me up) and i suddenly missed the sound of the coming train. Such a random thought to start a sunday morning. I know its definitely different now. I’m no longer live near by this station. And this station is no longer operated as passenger train, as it used to be. Things have changed. I have changed. You too. Ah, why am i thinking about the same shit again and again? When did i start to think about you? I look at my phone to check the time. 9.30 am? Wow. This is such an advancement bcs i can finally forget you for about 2 hours since the time i woke up.

/ I usually start thinking about you right after my eyes are wide opened at 6.30 am in the morning to i see my lockscreen (our selca edited in black and white mode). Actually i dont mean to see the lockscreen to really think about you since the early morning but i have to stop BTS to keep singing Fire in 100% volume-my morning alarm. My eardrums could be broken because of it, yeah-you know. Its not an excuse, really. / Ok. Well done. No. I dont feel well today. Because i think its still so early to be outside in this breezy winter. And i’m only wearing my last night’s pineapple printed tshirt covered by a not so thick-blue cardigan. What the hell with ur damn legs to follow your random thought’s instruction. The small dust of snow are falling in front of me. Falling slowly one by one just like the memories that keep coming slowly, intensely. I’m started to remember the old times when we took the train to go to random place during our last christmas. You were left alone by your parents. Your parents have been busy working all the time but christmas day is properly the only exception. That was the first time actually. You felt so upset and your elder brother might be go out with his girlfriend which means you were literally left alone and i felt like i had a responsibility to comfort you. I used to comfort you but we ended up trapped in a dispute. I dont know why. Its just happening all of sudden. And to think of it again makes me anxious.

Yes i left you that night. 10 pm in the day of christmas, right after sending you back home.

/I left you with your sad teary looking eyes. i knew you were holding it since we took off the train. i knew it well but i pretended not to care im such a bastard i deserve a punishment for it/

I couldnt think anything more than to quicken my footsteps. I could only think that i should go quickly bcs i could never deal with those kind of look in your eyes. I could never deal to see you cry because it hurts me even more. So i better go, following my selfish mind. I didnt know that those tensed conversation will be the last time we talk to each other. I didnt know that to left you in such condition is much worse than to hug you to stop you from crying. The thing that i surely know now that i feel really sorry to you. It was my mistake. Wait,

No, Not really. You told me that you like her. You said that you just confessed to a girl you just knew in twitter. I couldnt accept the fact that my only precious bestfriend will be someone else’s boyfriend. You wont be completely mine anymore. i will lose my bestfriend ever. Is feeling fear of losing a mistake? I’d rather to leave you than to be left. I thought the time could heal anything. But no. Theres no text from you, nor a single call from you. I thought that you were busy dating with ur fckin new girlfriend. And to calculate the time, i guess today is the time when you celebrate your 1st anniversary with her. Congratulation dude. Sh*t. I feel like my tears just fell through my cheekbones. Why the hell did i spend an hour walk just to cry over the same person?

I close my eyes to stop it from getting worse. Apparently holding back tears is not an easy job. I open my eyes.

voila!

Whats with this setting? Why the floor is shaking? And why is there a stainless steel door showing the blooming trees scenery from its window right in front of me. Wait. No. This cant be.. Why am i here? on the train?! I hit my right cheek in case its just a dream but da heck it is not!! I look around to check the situation. Then my eyes fixate to someone next to me. The boy who is standing with a familiar face. And is closing his eyes while standing like a still picture. Jeon jungkook?????? Is it you??????? == Both point of view. ==

Taehyung is mesmerized by the view that he is looking at right now. Jungkook is right in front of him and he doesnt have any idea about it. “How could this be? Is it a miracle thats been set out by God?” He cant hide the smile on his face while staring at the sleeping boy. Wait. “Isnt it dangerous to be sleeping while standing? On the train??,” he wonders. Suddenly the sleeping boy opens his eyes. The awakened boy (who is actually not sleeping) is startled to see the boy with those familiar rectangle shaped smile standing in front of him. All smiling. All bright. Like a flower blooms. Like a spring day he’s been waiting for. “H-h-hyung??,” he starts the talk. “Y yeah. Its been a long time?” “I miss you…..hyung.” “I know” “What? Why are you so confident?” “I know”

“i couldnt make it with her”

“……”

“i broke up with her right after she accepted me. You happy?”

Taehyung’s smile is widening naturally.

“i know”

“you lied”

“i know”

“Ya! hyung!”

“Hahahahhahaha” Their story is going to bloom once again,

Just like the scenery of blooming trees outside the windows

Just like spring day.

==The end==

����В

[randomly-random-jen]

All I Want for Christmas is You

a Buffy the Vampire fanfic

Set in season six. Buffy's back from the dead and still having a hard time dealing with life; Christmas is almost more than she can handle. While her friends take a break from the chaos that is their lives, Buffy sneaks out, only to find Spike doing his stalker routine. But things aren't always as bad as they seem, and neither is Spike. [Originally written in 2014, this story has been lightly edited for composition and clarity before reposting.]

1315 words | [PG]

>

The door clicked softly behind Buffy. She pulled her sweater tighter around her as she sat on the back steps, her breath hanging in the cool December air. From inside, she could hear her friends singing carols, buzzed on too much spiked eggnog. She leaned her head into her hands; everything was so hard.

After a moment, she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “What do you want, Spike?”

Spike chuckled. “You always seem to know where I am, love.”

“I could smell the smoke.”

“Oh.” He looked at his cigarette then dropped it, squashing it with his foot.

“Spike, I’m really not in the mood.”

“Not up with the holiday cheer then?”

“Go home.” Buffy ran her hands through her hair.

Spike came over to the porch. “No.”

“Spike, please-”

“No.” He sat down next to her. “You need some cheerin’ up.”

“What I need is for you to go away.” Buffy jumped up, took a few steps away.

Spike darted in front of her. “Come on, Buffy, you know you don’t want me to go.”

He tried to grab her arm, but she turned away. “Spike-”

Spike got in her face again, invading her space. “Why do you have to make things so difficult, pet? We both know what you need.” He pulled on the free strands of her hair. “Why can’t you just admit it?”

Buffy pushed him away. “What I need is for you to not be here.”

“Wrong.”

“Don’t make me hurt you.”

Spike pushed up against her. “I like it when you get rough-”

Before he could finish the thought, Buffy slammed her fist into his nose. Spike stumbled back, landing hard in the dirt. He held his face, brow furrowed. Buffy rolled her eyes. She was more than a little tired of his nonsense. Spike’s look of confusion quickly turned to anger then back to confusion then on to hurt. A little bit of something twisted inside of Buffy. Regret?

Spike got to his feet, dusted himself off. “Fine, be a bitch about it. Go back and pretend to actually give a damn about the boughs of holly and the jolly old fat man. Maybe your friends will even buy it, but we both know you’ll be miserable. No amount of tinsel and eggnog could fix that.” He started to walk away then did a quick one-eighty. “You know, sometimes I think you like it—being miserable all the time. It gives you an excuse to check out—to not be in this world. ‘Oh, woe is me, I didn’t come back right. Life is hard, think I’ll just disappear. Maybe it’ll feel better if I’m anywhere but here.’”

Buffy sat back down, face in her hands.

“Problem is, love, you can’t escape the pain. It never goes away. All you can do is make it hurt a little less.”

“And you can make it hurt less?” Buffy asked with a snort.

“Course I can. You were there.”

Buffy laughed. “I don’t recall there being a lack of pain.”

Spike smirked then sighed. He sat next to her, leaving some space. “Look, things are hard, but they’ll get better.”

“And you know this how?”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Because you’re you. You’ve survived everything else the world has thrown at you; you’ll survive your death, too.”

“They made sure of that,” she murmured.

Spike moved to put a hand on her shoulder, but pulled back, letting it drop to his lap. They sat in silence for several minutes. Buffy didn’t know what to think anymore. Things were hard, and maybe Spike was sort of right. She thrived on misery. Why else would she let things get so bad? If she’d told her friends the truth about Heaven when she- She shook her head. Spike being right was more than a little disturbing, but lately, he’d been right about a lot of things. She shivered.

“Here,” Spike said softly, interrupting her thoughts. He handed her a small, badly wrapped box.

Buffy turned it over, hoping it wouldn’t explode or anything. “Why?”

He let out a snort. “Cause it’s Christmas.” At her look, he scoffed. “It’s tradition. Because I- Just open it.”

She tried to hide the small smile as she tore the paper. She wasn’t sure if she was smiling about Spike’s discomfort or the fact that he got her... a locket. She slid her fingers over the gold oval. It had small flowers etched along the edge with a larger rose in the center. “It’s beautiful. Looks antique.”

“Late nineteenth century.”

“Where’d-”

“I didn’t nick it if that’s what you’re getting at.”

Buffy wasn’t sure she believed him. A flood of confusing emotions threatened to swallow her whole. Everything was so wrong since she’d come back from the dead. Things were too bright and too loud and too complicated. Except Spike. When she was with Spike it was like everything slowed down. She hated to admit that—how easy he was to talk to, how good he made her feel, how he frustrated her and made her laugh all at the same time.

She opened the locket to find a picture of her mother on one side and a picture of her sister on the other. She blinked away the tears.

Spike glanced over at her, his expression soft. “It’s just a little trinket, love, no reason to cry.” He wiped her cheek with his thumb, lighting her cold skin on fire.

“I didn’t get you anything,” she said, her voice cracking a little.

“Wasn’t expectin’ anything in return, pet. Isn’t that what Christmas is about? Giving, not receiving?”

Buffy met his gaze, his face a little blurry behind the tears. “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.

Spike cracked a smile. “Thank you’s the preferred expression in these kinda situations.”

Laughter bubbled up from someplace deep inside of her—a place she’d thought closed off for good. She wiped away the wetness on her cheeks. She wasn’t sure if they were sad or happy tears. Spike’s smile was even bigger when she finally got control of herself. His eyes sparkled in amusement.

“Thank you,” she said through another fit of laughter. She finally calmed, her eyes never leaving his. She could get lost in those eyes—the intensity, the tenderness. Sometimes she wished she could love him the way he loved her, the way he wanted her to love him back.

After a moment, Spiked slapped his knees. “All right then. Did what I came to do.” He jumped up. “Time to go cause some mayhem. Lots of creatures out bumping in the night and all that.” He ran a hand over his hair, rubbing at his neck. “Night, Buffy.”

She watched him cross the yard and felt suddenly cold. Something squeezed at her chest making it hard to breathe. She glanced at the locket—the pictures of her family staring back at her. He’d put a lot of thought into the gift, even if he did steal the thing. And the tears were back.

“Spike, wait,” she called, hurrying after him. “I-” Buffy didn’t know what she wanted to say. “I-” She was being stupid. Looking at Spike, with that bemused look on his face, she knew exactly what she wanted to do. So why was she fighting it?

“Buffy?”

He gasped when she slid her arms around his neck. She kissed him softly, not daring to deepen it—that led to nothing good. Spike, didn’t try anything either. He kissed her back just as tender, his hands cupping her face. When she pulled away he had a look of surprise on his face.

“What was that about?”

Buffy licked her still tingling lips. “Your Christmas present. You like it?”

He smiled softly, touching his forehead to hers. “It’s exactly what I wanted.”

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: 9th December 2018

Geez, today was a busy week. Before we talk about the top 10, however, let’s just get the massive elephants out of the way.

CHRISTMAS NONSENSE

It’s the festive season and one way people celebrate the holidays is by listening to its music – usually, Christmas music, of course, and since I review all returning entries that I haven’t talked about yet, sigh... There are seven of these so I’m going to go as quick as possible, but just bear with me throughout this section because I really don’t like Christmas music all that much. Let’s just get it over with.

#39 – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Brenda Lee

This is “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, a song written by Johnny Marks and released in 1958 in the US, being left on the shelf for four years until its release in the UK in 1962. In 1963, it peaked at number-six and has since re-entered due to digital downloads, with one of its highest recent peaks being number-seven last year. It’s pretty inoffensive rockabilly, with some nice very-50s guitar licks coming in throughout, and some decently-sounding production, but really it’s not anything of internet until that sax solo. That solo is freaking gorgeous, and I’m glad it’s there, because otherwise this would just kind of fall to the wayside. Not sure I like Lee’s voice on here, it comes off as a bit nasal, but it’s not a big deal. It’s alright, I guess. I expected to say RIP here since she was popular such a long time ago, but no, she’s still alive and kicking. Good for her.

#36 – “Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens

Now this is where it all breaks down into dread. This song by Shakin’ Stevens is Godawful, mostly because of how painfully manufactured the whole thing is. It’s overproduced Christmas music that is just jolly feelings and nothing else. Those horns that kick in after the first verse are pretty cool, but Stevens doesn’t sound great here – or at least I can’t tell because he’s drowned in reverb – and the choir might as well be a computer for all I care. Also, the sax solo was cool the first time in Brenda Lee’s track, but here it’s just trite, especially when you add those shooby-doo-wops over it. This track was initially the Christmas number-one for 1985, and I understand why, but does it really have to come back every year since 2007 – for over 60 weeks in total? Oh, it peaked last year at #10 too. Let’s hope this upwards trend doesn’t continue.

#35 – “Santa Tell Me” – Ariana Grande

Now for a more recent one from arguably the biggest popstar in the world right now, with her 2014 song that actually failed to chart in the Top 40 initially until last year at #29, and that’s its peak so far... whilst I’ve never been a fan of the cleaner, refined Ariana Grande records, I do have a soft spot for this one. That melody is infectious and the sleigh bells complement the synth bass in a way I didn’t think they would, and it’s not like the drums are all that overpowering here, although a trap skitter would have worked better here (yeah, I know, not something I say often). It’s surprisingly romantic and sensual for a song with Santa in the title, actually, although it’s about men who have wronged her. Anyway, Ariana kills it but what else do you expect from a song from her at this point? It’s a good track, although the final chorus with the choir is really cluttered, just saying, it’s messy.

#30 – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” – Michael Bublé

This here is Michael Bublé’s cover of traditional Christmas classic written in 1951 by Meredith Wilson, and it’s not great. Obviously, I mean, it’s Michael Bublé, ever since “Haven’t Met You Yet” he’s been utterly useless seasonal radio fodder. Bublé never really sounds bad but he never sounds interesting, and this production isn’t doing him any favours. It’s sickly sweet strings and brass for the most part, with some piano added in there for good measure, after what seems to be way too long of just airy synth, string and guitar noise – that’s really out of place, guys, why is this on the single edit? Ah, what else to say? Oh, right, nothing.

#26 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid

Oh, I know it’s Christmas time, alright, this song won’t let me forget it. I could ramble on about how preachy and awful this charity single is but other people have done it better. I just have four short things to say – 1.) this was the most popular song in the UK of the entire 80s. Yikes. 2.) This is the worst thing the Boomtown Rats have had any involvement in. They’re such a great band, hell so are Culture Club. How do Boy George, the Boomtown Rats, Ultravox, Phil Collins, U2, Kool & the Gang, Sting and Duran Duran make something this awful? They’re all absolutely fantastic musicians in their own right. 3.) That synth that kicks in after a while is pretty ugly, not gonna lie, and is unfitting for the condescending Christmas charity single angle they’re going for here – mostly because that’s what it really is. 4.) We’ve remade and reissued and re-entered this song too many times. Let it go, Britain. Please. We’re begging you. It’s for a good cause, and I appreciate how much money it’s raised, but it’s also garbage.

#18 – “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl

They use the word because it was the 80s, it’s not meant to mean homosexual and it’s not used in that context – albeit still a negative one – and the climate of Ireland, especially the Celtic punk scene, wasn’t exactly going to care about dropping that slur in their Christmas single. It should still be censored, though, I mean, black rappers saying the N-word is morally okay, but we still mute those, right? Anyway, this is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. It starts with a beautifully elegant piano melody, with the lead singer of the Pogues, Shane MacGowan, mumbling his way through his verse, but instead of people like Future or Lil Baby, there’s still a lot of sincerity there, I feel, and a lot of soul is put into expressing the lyrics here in the raspy tone that I absolutely love. I’m not going to talk much about the story here mostly because I’m not going to go in-depth, but it’s about a typical love story going awry at some point due to a betrayal. Oh, and the moment the Celtic traditional instruments come in is one of the best moments in music – ever. Kirsty MacColl sounds so lovely here, and the harmonisations in the chorus are fantastic. That flute solo is gorgeous, and the juxtaposition between “you’re a bum, you’re a punk, you’re an old s--- on junk, lying there almost dead as a drip on that bed” and the cheerful instrumental is just hilarious to me, especially since right after “Happy Christmas your a---, I thank God it’s our last” is immediately followed by the bombastic drunk sing-a-long chorus. The third verse is also such a great back-and-forth, man, I can’t even bring to words how much I admire and adore this piece of music. This is the best song I think I’ve ever talked about on this show, by far, but it could have easily not been close if “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders returned this week. We’ll just hope for next week, I guess. Rest in peace to Kirsty MacColl, gone much too young.

#14 – “Last Christmas” – WHAM!

Finally, we have our last Christmas song for this week’s holiday REVIEWING THE CHARTS special. It’s an anti-climactic end, to be honest, because I’m pretty indifferent to this song. It’s pretty 80s, to be fair, so I’ve got to like some of the cheesy falsetto vocalisations from the late George Michael at the start, as well as those repetitive synths that keep themselves from sounding awful by having those sleigh bells and pretty damn nice keys covering them. That chorus is iconic, but the rest of the lyrics are just forgettable. Honestly, it’s a good background song and it’s a well-written, catchy pop track with Michael putting in some good vocals throughout, but, it’s nothing special. Nothing but respect to George Michael, though, rest in peace, he’s a pop legend over here.

Christmas Conclusion

The best Christmas song on the charts right now is easily “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, but an Honourable Mention goes to Mariah Carey for “All I Want for Christmas is You”. Yup, that’s still here, we’ll get to that in a second. Worst of the Week goes to Band Aid for “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” You should be ashamed, Bob. Dishonourable Mention is going to Shakin’ Stevens for “Merry Christmas Everyone”. Other Christmas songs you should check out are “Christmas in Harlem” by Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and CyHi tha Prynce featuring Musiq Soulchild (heck, check out the longer version if you wish), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders, “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” by Tyler, the Creator and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” by DMX. Yes, those last two actually exist. Now, this Christmas section has taken longer and is longer to read than about half of my normal episodes, so I think we should get straight into...

Top 10

Well, this all feels a bit more familiar. “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is still at the top of the charts five weeks in, and it doesn’t really seem to have much competition.

Ava Max, however, is making a surprise run for the top, up four spots to number-two, with “Sweet but Psycho”. I wouldn’t exactly be complaining if this hit the top either.

“Without Me” by Halsey is up a spot to number-three.

We have a new entry from the most recent X Factor winner, Dalton Harris, with a cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Christmas classic “The Power of Love”, featuring James Arthur. I guess awful Christmas songs aren’t going away for that long, huh? Obviously this is Dalton’s first top 10, and Arthur’s fifth.

“Thursday” by Jess Glynne is down two spaces to number-three.

Up a whopping 28 spaces this week to number-six is, you guessed it, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”. This isn’t its first top 10 turn, and it’s not its peak, but still impressive to reach here nonetheless.

This means “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is down five spaces to number-seven.

“Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie has actually gained nine spaces, surprisingly, and to my dismay, to number-eight, becoming Arthur’s sixth and Anne-Marie’s fifth.

Oh, and if you wanted even worse news, up an even larger 29 spaces is “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez, becoming both their first (and hopefully for 6ix9ine, only) top 10 hit at number-nine. I like the song, but I don’t like Tekashi, to say the least.

We have another new entry at #10 this week with “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus. This is Ronson’s sixth top 10 hit and Cyrus’ fourth (yeah, I thought she had more too).

Now, instead of separating what happened on the charts into Dropouts, Climbers, Returning Entries, Fallers and such, let’s separate into two sections: “What Survived” and “What Suffered”.

What Survived

What survived means essentially everything that still managed to chart this week, and I’m actually surprised by how much power some of these songs have. Going in reverse order, I have no idea how “Arms Around You” by XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee and Maluma managed to cling on despite a 17-space fall to #40. “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down 16 to #38, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong is down four to #37, “Empty Space” by James Arthur is down 10 to #34 (why did James Arthur of all people have the strength to stay during the avalanche?), “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is down eight to #33, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is down 27 to #32 (considering both streaming cuts and Christmas bloodbath), “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker has returned to #31 for some reason, “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish is down seven to #28 (again, surprised this one’s still here), “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is down eight to #27, “1999” by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is down 11 to #24, “Polaroid” by James Blue, Liam Payne and Lennon Stella is down 11 to #23, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is down eight to #22, “Better” by Khalid is down five to #20, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down seven to #16, as is “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset right next to it at #15, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is down five to #12, and everything else that’s currently charting is either simply not notable (a drop or climb less than four spaces), in the top 10, a new arrival, a Christmas re-entry or in the top 10. Jesus. Now, what’s gone?

What Suffered

This is a little nicer name for what’s dropped out in the absolute onslaught of Christmas music and new arrivals (all returning and new entries this week total to 12 songs that weren’t on the chart before). This week was an absolute bloodbath, and these are the murder victims. Former #1 “Shotgun” by George Ezra is out from #30, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #28, “AirForce” by Digdat is out from the #20 debut, “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is out prematurely from #27, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is out again from #36, another former #1 “Eastside” by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is out from #31, “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is out from #32, “I Found You” by benny blanco and Calvin Harris is out from #29, “MIA” by Bad Bunny featuring Drake is out from #35, “Always Remember Us this Way” by Lady Gaga is out from #39, “Goodbye” by Jason Derulo and David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Willy William is out from #40 and finally, “Back and Forth” by MK, Jonas Blue and Becky Hill is out from #37. I’d say it’s time to move onto the New Arrivals – but before, I’d like to say that the BBC redesigned their UK Top 40 page, and it looks pretty cool. Anyways:

NEW ARRIVALS

#29 – “MAMA” – 6ix9ine featuring Kanye West and Nicki Minaj

Of course, DUMMY BOY only had a stunted tracking week last week, so we have the effects of the album this week. This is 6ix9ine’s third top 40 hit in the UK, Nicki Minaj’s thirty-seventh (yeah, I know, it’s insane), and Ye’s even crazier forty-third, and to be honest, it’s inoffensive, which is something I’d never thought I’d say about a 6ix9ine song, but, hey, it is what it is. Murda Beatz’s production is pretty cool for what it is, and I do like the eerie synth loop. 6ix9ine’s delivery is lazy and boring – and I still think we shouldn’t let rappers say they kick women out of doors – but he doesn’t last long so when Kanye comes in with that “man, oh my God” refrain it gets so much better. I’m so used to Kanye West’s pop-culture rambling, social media criticism/obsession, somehow relating to women nonsense he brings to nearly every single verse he does recently that I’m used to it, it’s just something I’ve heard before delivered relatively comedically. Nicki’s refrain and verse actually has some work put into it, unlike the dudes’ bars, so yeah, I appreciate that, although her delivery and cadence is exhaustingly blunt and straightforward, to the point where it’s just kind of tiring. There’s some decent wordplay there, I guess. This is okay enough, and pretty much top-tier Tekashi to be honest. “KANGA” also featuring Ye is even better, though.

#17 – “Going Bad” – Meek Mill featuring Drake

Meek Mill and Drake working together is something I expected to happen anyway. Meek and Drake have seemingly squashed their beef and have relaxed after the “Back to Back” situation and their popular 2015/2016 beef that revealed a lot about Drake, specifically his ghostwriting from Quentin Miller, and eventually stressed Meek’s relationship with Nicki enough for them to break up as a result. Oh, and you better believe they mention “back to back” because of course they do, it’s the only funny wordplay they can conjure up, apparently. This is Meek Mill’s first ever top 40 hit in the UK (congratulations) and in stark contrast, Drake’s forty-fifth (yes, even more than Kanye), and his thirteenth just this year (probably and hopefully his last), and it’s mediocre. I didn’t know what to expect because I’ve never really cared enough about Meek to listen to him, but an out-of-tune piano absolutely demolished by some bass while Drake spouts off with stuff like “I got more slaps than the Beatles” isn’t exactly the best first impression. Is there a chorus here, or not? I can’t tell, everything’s just kind of the same until the ad-lib break that’s long enough for Genius to count it as an entirely different section of the song than in Meek’s verse. It was “Interlude” when I looked but it might be “Post-Chorus” now. Yeah, it should be clear I don’t care enough about this song. I do like Drake’s delivery in the hook, though, it’s pretty energetic, but not enough to save it.

#10 – “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” – Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus

So, yeah, I like this. It starts with some beautiful strings right before Miley Cyrus fades in with her country twang that I’m starting to really appreciate, and those guitars come in to complement her and the deeper bass that I like the addition of, it really contrasts the otherwise pretty light production, that seems to be dramatic but kind of unfitting for the lyrical content about how the world can hurt you but heartbreak is the worst possible thing, because despite the beat’s melodrama it’s too upbeat to really work here, I feel. Ah, well, the hook is pretty memorable, and the orchestral stings is just one little barely-noticeable production quirk that I can talk about, seriously, Mark Ronson puts so much effort into crafting these songs over the years, it’s pretty great. It may be a bit too repetitive and slow for my taste, but, yeah, I can dig this. Good song, just not much to say about it.

#4 – “The Power of Love” – Dalton Harris featuring James Arthur

The girl gets Leona Lewis, the Scouse dude gets Kaiser Chiefs, yet the WINNER gets James Arthur?! Really, James Arthur? Poor dude. You must know you’re an amazingly talented singer when you get James Arthur put on your song and you still make a surprisingly decent winner’s single, hell, even win in the first place. Arthur is such an awful vacuum of talent, I was scared Harris would be affected by this but no, even with my half-bothering with the show this year I can tell he’s been consistently great, and he’s definitely not bad on here either, although the production has no unique charm to it and is just plastic Syco production as you expect, with James Arthur bringing an above-average performance (this means still pretty bad) with his moaning and straining that just pains me to listen to. Seriously, James, let’s have a cactus-to-man talk and let me teach you how to not sound like my dead cat who just popped some Xanax.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week goes to Dalton Harris and James Arthur for “The Power of Love” – at least “Going Bad” has some energy and legitimate soul to it, although Meek Mill and Drake still get Dishonourable Mention. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus take Best of the Week home for “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”, and hell Kanye and Nicki made “MAMA” bearable enough for them and 6ix9ine to get Honourable Mentions. See ya next week, where we’ll probably see a few more Christmas songs. Delightful.

[signalsandsoundwaves]

kay so I’m like 95% sure I just had my first ever real lucid dream??

so I guess some background on this for the past few weeks/months I’ve been having I guess are called reality checks, in my nonlucid dreams where I see something and I kind of act like how I rationally would in real life when faced with the same situation, like in one dream this weird giant figure thing materialized in the middle of the football field while me and a couple of other girls were on the bleachers talking about art stuff and giving each other critiques (they were actually critiques I’d make IRL too like I remember saying the line weight in her drawing was great, try making the color palette a little more vivid, said those in particular) and the figure thing was almost slowly robotically moving towards me? I was very creeped out by this just as I’m very creeped out by robotic slow movements by people in real life (my brother would do that as a way of pranking me and I wanted to slap him for it) and I remember hauling ass down the bleacher steps and going across the street (for some reason this dream the bleachers and football field were in my back yard) and I leaped the fence to get into my front yard (it’s a short fence irl) to get towards the neighbor’s backyard fence and leaped that one too (it’s also a short fence irl i am not an athlete :(  ) and that’s where the dream ended BUT I just wanted to recount that to you as an example of how I’ve been responding rationally to irrational situations in my dreams recently which may have set me up for this.

Ok SO this morning (like just now) I was trying to sleep at least a little bit cuz I had like a 4-5 hour nap last night (I should not nap, I basically sleep for soooo long lmfaooo) and after to trying to fall asleep for a couple of hours i finally fell asleep!! Good right? Nah. 

so the dream opened up to me sitting at the computer in my room watching a new rick and morty episode (season 3 episode 2 to be precise, which is not actually out yet!! so disappointed) and in the dream I was consciously thinking, “Wow! A new episode! Wait this is weird, isn’t the new season not coming out until summer? Are they releasing the new season early as another joke? Gosh this is a good joke if it is” and then I really got my first inkling of Wait a minute because the episode was some kind of weird musical episode!

Except it wasn’t obviously choreographed with timed routines and all of the stuff a proper musical would have it was just like dialogue they were speaking while singing it out? it was very very strange and I distinctly remember thinking Wait a minute Rick and Morty would never do shit like this and then when I had that thought they stopped singing their dialogue. and Thats. When. Shit. Hit. The. Fan. and I was legit having a 100% bonafide LUCID DREAM and I realized I had control! And I thought how fun! Let’s try something simple! So I just kinda made up some little cartoon characters and they appeared. I imagined them singing and stuff and they did that! and then I did some other things like changing the color of paint in my room, moving around (except that was weirdly difficult and it felt like I was trying to move through molasses which I realized then was because I was trying to move while my body was asleep and locked up from sleep mode) and it was pretty alright! 

Aaaaaand then I had remembered some line i read like a bajillion years ago about how you have to be sure to resolve any anxieties, fears, whatever because otherwise it could show up in the dream and I was kind of worrying because I was actually having fun and I didn’t want that to end AND THE FUCKING SECOND I WORRIED THAT THIS FUCKING LITTLE TOOTH MONSTER THING APPEARED and it was really weird because it had no eyes a g i a n t mouth that spanned its head (just like the harlequin demon from nightmare before christmas) and at the same time looked like a cartoon character? like brightly colored and everything and it would be harmless looking if it werent for that god damn mouth

and this little tooth monster started trying to get at me! and it hadn’t tried to hurt me yet or anything but I wasn’t sure and I knew it was caused by my worrying so I had a vibe it wasn’t going to be so good when it did get at me and I was thinking of ways to bind the little fucker up so I could properly deal with it and I realized that I had control here so I could try and vanish it away and it did! for like two seconds. then my thinking about it just made it reappear right in front of me as if it never left. So then I tried waking up. And I did, in the dream :/ I woke up to no cartoon characters moving around and nothing around and all way quiet and the room layout changed to match the room I have now (I really should have realize I was in a dream when my room layout changed but wait! There’s more!) except the paint color was yellow like my old room. I should have realized at that moment that I was still sleeping but I didn’t, and then I only realized I was still asleep in real life when me attempting to move my arm felt like I was trying to move through molasses again. 

And that was when I thought Oh Shit and the fucking. gremlin. tooth. monster. appeared. again right when I thought that! and it was back yet again with a vengeance and this time I thought okay I got control here right? I can just make some ropes or something and when I thought that these snake rope things came out of my fingers and started wrapping themselves around the tooth monster thing and it kind of worked, the little beast was restrained! so that was half of the problem solved and I started bringing the thing closer to myself because honestly I was going to rip this thing apart and get rid of it for good (until the next gremlin shit came along) so I started to try tearing it apart, and it came apart much easier than I thought it would! except this time there was no blood and it was like russian dolls where there was a smaller one inside the outer one? the shell of the outer one was super thin and connected the top half to the bottom half with those thin flimsy plastic hinges that you see on easter eggs. and the next one came apart easily still connected with that flimsy hinge, and the next, and the next too

the whole time while i was trying to tear this thing apart i kept hearing the thing laugh which was really weird because the body of the thing acted like it was in pain when I was popping them apart and then the discarded shells were unresponsive like they were dead? which made sense except for the laughing. it was a really weird kind of high pitched laugh like a baby that kept going as I split the bodies apart and I kept desperately trying to wake up wake up wake up and then I finally did wake up! In a lilac room, not yellow, which took me a second to realize was the proper room color that I should be seeing. I tried moving, much easier now, no molasses. aaand then i got up and had to do a quick reality check by interrogating my mom as to the errands we did yesterday and freaking her out LMAO 

so then I thought I had to tell the internet somehow (cuz im lame lol jk jk) and then I just went ahead and made a post here for posterity. Oh and one more thing time passed actually kind of normal in the dream? like I woke up and I was shocked that only about 30 or 40 minutes had passed which on second thought made sense because the events in the dream probably had only taken about that long to happen, but IRL when I dream I wake up with hours having passed. i guess i woke up in the dream relatively early hmmmm

edit: prob notable to point out that this is probably the first time ive had an actual nonsensical dream, usually it’s got some degree of realism or almost terrifying realism to it :(