#and for a few days even afterward i would burst into tears if i thought about it too hard or if i heard that song

[oneguardian15]

just finished rewatching good omens (s1) for the first time since i first saw it many years ago. and i am, once again, inconsolable

[grumpypixistix]

The lab assistant

Scientist!Miguel O’Hara x Shy!Reader

Warnings- Face sitting, slight corruption kink, slightly perverted!Miguel (if you squint), co-workers being dickheads, semi-public sex (let me know if I missed anything! )

MINORS DNI 18+

You had been working at Alchemax for a few months now. A few of your colleagues were generous enough to introduce you to the workplace and the other workers, but there was one person you couldn’t keep your eyes off of.

Miguel O’Hara.

When you first introduced yourself to him, he had already taken a liking to you. Something about how shy yet sweet you were made his pulse quicken and his cheeks burn. The way you smiled at him as you tried to introduce yourself, nervous about your first day at Alchemax. But you quickly felt at home when Miguel began to bond with you by taking over your “tour” of the place, making great conversation. Soon enough, your shell had cracked and you started talking about your personal interests, how you got hired, etc.

About a week after that day, he went home and couldn’t stop thinking about you for some reason. He didn’t know what to make of it, thinking it wasn’t too serious.

But then you started appearing in his dreams.

Miguel would dream about leaving marks everywhere on your body to claim you as his, fucking every ounce of innocence out of you.

And when he would wake up in a cold sweat, his cock was nearly on the verge of exploding, precum dripping everywhere. He felt guilty about it afterwards, it was just wrong for him to think about his colleague like that.

But you plagued his mind consistently. The dreams slowly turned into daily thoughts that he finally caved into, fisting his cock at least four times a day to the thought of your body. But you had no clue what he was doing after he got off of work. You just assumed that he only saw you as a co-worker and nothing else, maybe even a good friend.

But God, were you so far off from the truth.

As you entered the building for another shift of the week, your boss had approached you with some new information.

“I’m really sorry this is a last minute notice, but I need you to stay a little later. I tried to get some other people to stay instead, but all of them couldn’t do it… but on the bright side, Miguel volunteered to stay, so you won’t be completely alone.”

Great, just what you needed. A longer shift after your horrible week.

Even though some of your colleagues were nice to you, there was a group that wasn’t as generous as them. Some of them claimed that you were too clumsy or stupid to be an assistant, others claimed you were like a lost dog or a prude. Whatever they said, you tried not to pay attention to it too much. But there were days where it would get to you, and this week happened to have a bunch of those days.

You just nodded at your boss and shot him the best smile you could muster up.

“Alright then, that shouldn’t be a problem, sir” You said in a friendly tone.

“At least Miguel will be here with me… maybe I can talk to him, get my stress out” You thought to yourself as you walked off to start your shift.

When you walked into the lab and took your coat off of the hanger, you could hear some voices from the other side of the room.

“Oh great, look who’s here.”

“God, I don’t even know why she’s still here. She should’ve been fired months ago, she doesn’t even know what she’s doing.”

“I’m surprised Miguel even hangs out with her, she’s such a prude.”

“Hell, you should’ve seen the look on her face yesterday. She practically bursted into tears when we called her useless.”

The other comments stung a little, but what got you the most was the part about Miguel. Sure, you had developed a small crush on him, but that had nothing to do with your guy’s friendship. The fact that the other colleagues had judged your bond just to get a laugh hurt you more than you felt it should’ve.

God forbid if they ever found out about your feelings for Miguel… you couldn’t help but become paranoid over the idea.

As you tried to ignore the group across the room and focus on your tasks, it seemed that one of them had read your mind and called you over.

Shit.

“Hey, newbie! Come over here real quick, we gotta ask you somethin“ One of your colleagues called out.

Your heart pounded hard inside your chest, quietly gulping before walking over to the group with a small sigh.

“What do you need?” You asked gently, silently praying it was something work-related and not just making fun of you again.

Some of the others chuckled and chattered a little bit before falling quiet.

“Sooo, you’re friends with Miguel, right?” The female colleague from before asked.

Your palms began to grow sweaty as sirens went off in your mind, biting your cheek before answering.

“Yeah, why?” You raised your brow at your co-worker.

Your co-worker slowly smiled. Oh no.

“Well, we were just thinking… with the way you act around him and all… you definitely have a thing for him, don’t you?”

Your whole chest sunk to your stomach, wishing this was just some horrible dream and that you would wake up soon. Trying to play it off, your eyes widened at the question and you shook your head vigorously.

“What?? No, he’s just my friend-“

“That wasn’t my question. I asked if you have a thing for him” She cuts off coldly.

Some of the others snickered quietly, making your throat close up as you tried to hold your emotions back. Your face contorted into confusion at the strange question, the others taking notice of it.

“Oh my god, she’s clueless” One of the colleagues muttered with a small chuckle.

Your co-worker lets out a small laugh as she noticed your face, clicking her tongue and shaking her head.

“Here, let me dumb it down for you: do you ever fantasize about having sex with Miguel?”

Your whole face flushed bright red as it clicked into your head, slowly shaking your head.

“N- No… that’s… that’s wrong” You stuttered, looking at your co-worker.

She stares at you with a raised brow, not believing you at all.

“Okay, sure… but you still like him, right? Being a prude and all, surely you at least have a crush on him.”

“Please, don’t call me that-“

“Or what? Huh? You gonna run off to your little boyfriend and cry in his arms? I’m sure he’ll baby you, he does every time he sees you” She hisses.

The feeling in your throat grew even stronger, your eyes slowly beginning to water. But you didn’t want to prove her theory, so you just stood there silently, not knowing what else to say. As the silence grew more, some of the colleagues just laughed.

“Wow… you really are stupid, aren’t you?”

“Who’s stupid?” A voice emerges from the entrance of the room, making everyone fall silent.

It was Miguel, standing with his arms crossed and his brows furrowed. The group of colleagues weren’t laughing or smiling anymore- instead, they actually looked nervous. The female coworker looked over at you for a quick moment before flashing a smile at Miguel.

“Oh, nothing! It was just something we were talking about from yesterday. Right, hon?” The co-worker said in an overly sweet tone, forcing herself to smile at you.

You froze, not wanting anymore conflict with the group, so you just went along with it. You quietly nodded your head and looked over at Miguel, giving your best smile.

“Mhm, it was just stuff from yesterday” You mustered up as your voice shook a little.

Miguel didn’t buy it at all, seeing how your eyes glistened, tears threatening to leave them at any second. He shot your co-worker a glare before looking back at you, a sigh leaving his lips.

“Ah, alright then… do you have the paperwork from last week? I just wanna make sure everything is right” Miguel spoke to you, his face softening a little.

You quickly nodded and walked away from the group to your clipboard that was in one of the desk drawers, skimming through the pile of papers to look for the documents. The group just watched as you eventually found the papers Miguel was referring to, handing them to him. He took out his glasses from his coat pocket and put them on, reading the sheet of paper. After a few moments of silence, Miguel took off his glasses and looked over at you, handing the paper back.

“This is perfect. Thank you, sweetheart. I don’t think I’ve ever seen paperwork better than this and I’ve worked here longer than anyone else has” Miguel praised, a gentle smile formed on his lips.

“Thank you, Miguel. That means a lot to me” You hummed in appreciation, returning the smile.

The praise alone made you forget about the whole situation from earlier, but the smile comforted you even more. Your cheeks burned up as you felt your whole body tingle, a small smile creeping up your lips. The feeling Miguel made you have was insatiable, you just couldn’t get enough of it. You wanted more of him, to have his lips on yours…

You almost forgot that there were other people in the room. Almost.

The sound of low muttering made your head turn towards the group, the co-worker giving you a dirty look before the group parted separate ways. You set the paper on the table and Miguel leans down to whisper in your ear.

“We’ll talk about this later.”

Your head spun when you felt his warm breath tickle your skin, almost not realizing what he just said. When you finally processed it, you looked at Miguel and nodded a little. For once, you were actually kind of glad your boss made you work later.



After hours of working and following Miguel around for assistance (as he asked for your presence), it was time for the others to go home. Usually, you would be getting off at this time, but since you had to stay later, that meant you would have to pick up dinner on your way back home. You didn’t really mind since it would save you time and energy to make food at home.

Plus you didn’t mind since it meant you could spend more time with Miguel.

Speaking of which, you couldn’t help but notice something was a little off with him. You assumed it was because of what happened earlier, because he seemed a little more tense than normal. But after everyone had left, he looked over at you, glad that the two of you were finally alone. You were finishing out today’s paperwork, slouching over the desk as you tried to fight off your tiredness. Miguel walked over to you and gently took the pen out of your hand, turning your chair around to face him.

“Everyone left, it’s just us. Now… about what happened earlier…” Miguel started, bending down to your height, “Tell me. What exactly did they say to you?”

Your face burned up a little as his face was inches away from yours, struggling to find your words. He just stared at you, waiting for an answer. But after a few moments of silence, his face softened and he let out a small breath, resting his large hand on your thigh.

“I won’t say a word to anyone, I promise. I just want to know what’s wrong… when I got here, you were on the verge of tears” Miguel spoke softly.

The feeling of his hand on your thigh made your chest flutter and your stomach turn, trying to keep your composure as much as you could. He was only just trying to comfort you… right?

“They… they were asking me questions…” You began, still debating whether or not you should leave out a few details.

Miguel hummed a little as he listened to you, his other hand now on your other thigh as he gently caressed your skin. Your stomach felt fuzzy and warm, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Questions about what? C’mon hermosa, you can tell me” He coos, tucking a small strand of hair out of your face.

You swallowed hard and bit your lip hard before answering hesitantly.

“They were… questions a- about you.”

Miguel stopped and looked at you, gently grabbing your chin and forcing you to look up at him.

“What did they ask about me?”

You stared up at him for a few moments and finally spoke again.

“They… they were asking if… I liked you” You whispered quietly.

That caught Miguel off-guard.

His eyes widened at you just the slightest, analyzing your face to see if you were messing with him. Once he noticed your flushed cheeks and nervous look, he knew you weren’t joking. After a moment of tense silence, Miguel licked his lips and started talking.

“…Do you?” Miguel asked lowly, looking down at your lips and up at your eyes.

His question had you in a slight panic, weighing out the odds. If you told him how you felt, it would either change your entire friendship or you would be stuck working alone for the rest of your time at Alchemax. Either one of those options sounded horrible, but if you didn’t tell him now, you were certain the group from earlier would do it eventually. Your heart raced so quick, Miguel swore he could hear it clearly. A shaky sigh left your lips and you nodded at him.

“Yeah… I do” You mumbled, scared that he would react negatively.

But instead, Miguel just chuckled softly and smiled at you, his hand cupping your face and his thumb dragging down your bottom lip.

“That’s good to know… because I’ve also liked you for quite some time now” Miguel responded, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

Your eyes widened at his response, a look of hope on your face as you slowly smiled.

“Really?” You squeaked.

Miguel chuckled again and nodded at you, his eyes flicking down to your lips.

“Of course I do… how could I not?” He whispered, his face slowly inching closer to yours.

Your face flushed all the way to your ears, finding yourself drifting towards him. Closer, closer and closer until you finally feel his warm lips on yours. It felt like hundreds of fireworks were exploding in your chest, slowly wrapping your arms around him and holding Miguel close. You were almost afraid to let go, and he seemed to notice this. Miguel gently moved his hands down to your waist, pulling you up out of the chair and into his arms. The more you kissed him, the harder it became for Miguel to keep his composure. He wanted to take things slow with you, not wanting to scare you away. But God, was it a challenge for him to just keep his hands on your hips.

After a little bit, Miguel finally broke the kiss to catch his breath, already panting softly. He looked at you and let out a groan that awoken something inside you.

“Shit, do you have any idea what you do to me?” Miguel huffed quietly, his thumbs barely peeking up the hem of your shirt and rubbing the bare skin of your stomach.

You just stared up at him, your mind still foggy from the kiss you two had shared moments ago. You shook your head with a quiet “No…”

Miguel sighed and looked down at your chest, his cock twitching inside his pants. He didn’t even bother hiding his erection anymore, moving your hips against his to show you the effect you had on him. You let out a gasp at the strange feeling, your fingers digging into his shoulders as your whole body felt hot now.

“I can’t help it… you’re just so fucking sweet… you haunt me in my dreams, I swear to god. Every night when I go to bed, all I can dream about is you and that fucking body of yours… all just for me.”

Your eyes widened at his words, not expecting him to say those kind of things to you. Normally, you’d be freaked out or even scared… but something about the way Miguel looked at you made you feel different. You weren’t sure if it was from the kiss earlier or your feelings for him in general, but you felt… ready in a sense. When Miguel saw your eyes widen at his words, his face dropped as he suddenly became worried.

“…Was that too much?” Miguel whispered gently, his brows furrowed together.

You slowly shook your head and placed a soft kiss to his cheek.

“No… I- If anything, I… I sometimes have dreams about you, too…” You admitted with a quiet tone, looking away.

Miguel nearly went off the rails when you told him that, his pants feeling tighter around his dick. He moved you closer to him once more, moving your hair to the side.

“Mierda… Tell me about your dreams…” Miguel mumbled against you, pressing slow kisses to your cheek and down your neck.

Your thighs pressed together as a wet patch formed in your panties, your stomach flipping as you felt his lips against your skin. A shaky breath left your mouth, nearly moaning from how good it felt to have Miguel treat you this way. It was definitely wrong, but it felt so right. If anyone else had stayed with you two during the late shift and caught you like this, you’d be fired on the spot.

But nobody else was here. Just the two of you.

“S- sometimes I dream about you k- kissing me like this… and even…” Your voice faltered as you quickly grew shy again, biting down on your lip.

Miguel kissed and nipped at your neck, leaving little marks on your skin.

“Go on, Cariño…”

You swallowed before speaking again, letting a soft moan slip out.

“Even… touching me…”

Miguel moaned at that, causing your head to spin even more. You felt so hot that you swore you were going to pass out, but luckily you didn’t. He moved up to place a firm kiss on your lips, pulling away to look at you.

“Have I done anything more than just touching you in your dreams?” Miguel muttered lowly, his lips wet and raw.

You thought for a second before slowly shaking your head with a small breath.

“I always woke up before… before I could find out…” You answered Miguel.

Miguel frowned at that, looking at the marks on your neck before making direct eye contact with you. He sighed and shook his head, clicking his tongue.

“Well… do you wanna know what I’d do to you in my dreams?”

You nodded at him, genuinely curious as to what he dreamed about when you weren’t there with him. His forehead pressed against yours as his lips were centimeters away from your lips, his hands trailing from your waist down to your ass.

“In my dreams… I’d have you sit on my face and I’d make you cum over and over again until your legs give out..”

The image Miguel just gave you nearly made you collapse. You felt weak to your knees, a gentle whine escaping your lips. Miguel squeezed your thighs and kissed you once more, his hands moving up to the hem of your shirt. He parted from you to look at your face.

“Can I?” Miguel asked, wanting to make sure you were okay with this before he went any farther.

You looked at him for a few moments before making a decision, whispering out a small “Yes” to him. He took that as his green light and gently took your coat off first before moving to your shirt. He rolled the material up your body and over your head, helping you take your shirt off. Once you were topless in front of him, Miguel’s eyes scanned your chest. He muttered something quietly in Spanish before letting out a breathy sigh.

“Have I ever told you just how beautiful you are?” He coos softly.

Your face burned up as you felt vulnerable in front of him, but when Miguel spoke, you slowly started to become more comfortable. A bashful expression appeared on your face as you just shook your head.

“Not entirely…”

Miguel hummed gently as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, reaching towards your back to unclip your bra.

“Well… I think you’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever met… every time I see you, it’s always hard for me to look away. Shit, baby, it’s even hard for me to look away in my dreams. I wouldn’t give it up for any other view… you’re so fucking beautiful, sweetheart” Miguel spoke in between kisses to your face and lips while gently kneading your exposed breasts.

You couldn’t help but moan at his words mixed with his touch, kissing him back each time he placed a kiss onto your soft lips. Miguel couldn’t get enough of the sweet sounds you made, craving even more from you. His hands moved down to unbutton your pants, taking off every last piece of clothing on your body before leaving you completely naked in front of him. Miguel’s breath hitched as he looked at your body.

It was even better than he imagined in his dreams.

Miguel placed small kisses down your neck and collarbone until he made it to your breasts, gently kissing and sucking one while his hand toyed with the other. The sensation made you moan a little louder, biting down on your lip to contain yourself. Miguel seemed to take notice of this and removed his mouth from your nipple.

“You don’t have to be quiet, muñeca… it’s just us. I wanna hear your pretty moans.. god, I’ve been dreaming about this for so long…”

As soon as he said that, his hands gripped your hips and he stared at you with nothing but lust in his eyes. Suddenly, he placed you on top of him as he laid down on the large table in the room. You could feel the tent in his pants right against your wet pussy, a low whine leaving your lips which caused Miguel to groan softly.

“Want you to sit on my face, querida… please…” Miguel begged softly, his hands still on your hips.

You let out a whimper at his request, reluctantly moving so your hips were directly above his face. You were hovering over him, not knowing what else to do. Miguel let out a quiet sigh, not wanting to wait any longer. He wanted to taste you… he had to taste you.

“You’re hovering, sweetheart. Lower your hips for me, ‘kay?” Miguel instructed, looking up at you from between your legs.

You looked down at him, slightly embarrassed from the position you were in. Regardless of how shy you became, you obeyed Miguel anyways, slowly lowering your hips a little.

“Is this g-“ Before you could even get your question out, Miguel’s mouth immediately attached to your clit.

You let out a loud gasp and moaned, Miguel’s tongue exploring your folds and licking up your juices. He let out a low growl that sent vibrations through your body, making you squirm and cry out.

“Joder, nena, sabes tan dulce… todo para mi~” Miguel moaned, his head moving up more to lick and suck on your clit again.

You whimpered as he sucked on your clit again, afraid that you would crush him if you moved your hips any lower. Miguel’s hands moved up to your ass and groped it tightly, his tongue poking your hole and sliding inside of you. The warm and wet feeling made your hands slam down on the table, trying not to drop your hips directly onto his face. Small pants left your mouth as his tongue fucked your hole and his nose brushed up against your sensitive clit, moaning as you kept your eyes shut tightly.

That’s when you felt Miguel’s hands grip your hips and his tongue slips out of your pussy, making you whine in response. You gasp as he pulls your hips down with such force, your eyes widening as you look down at him.

“Ay, Cariño, what did I tell you ‘bout the hovering? Stop hovering and sit on my face” Miguel scolded, spanking your ass as he goes back to licking and sucking your poor abused clit.

You cried out as you felt a new wave of pleasure form inside you, sobbing as he hit all of your spots with his mouth.

“Miguel~! Mig-“ You gasped, pulling his hair with one hand as the other stayed on the table for support.

But Miguel could care less if you suffocated him. Hell, he wanted you to. The sound of his name coming from your lips nearly made him cum in his pants right then and there. Every pretty noise that came out of your mouth was better than his dreams alone, not wanting you to stop. Miguel kissed and teased your clit more, savoring your taste as much as possible. His breath grew heavier and heavier as sweat trickled down his temples, burying his face in your pussy.

Miguel’s mouth left your clit with a small ‘pop’ as he re-entered his tongue inside your soaked hole, making you rut your hips against his face. The way his nose bumped your clit and his warm tongue stuffed inside you made your eyes roll back, your legs twitching already.

“God, don’t stop~ please don’t stop, Miggy~ feels s’good~” You begged pathetically, your shy demeanor now leaving your body.

Miguel moaned against you and spanked your ass hard once more, his fingers digging into your thighs. His own hips twitched against nothing as he listened to your pleads and moans, fucking you with his tongue relentlessly. With the way you begged so nicely for him to keep going, Miguel swore he could feel his precum seeping through his boxers and pants. How could he refuse you?

“Miguel-! I- I think I’m-“ You tried to warn him that you were close, your legs nearly giving out on you.

If it weren’t for Miguel’s large hands holding your hips up, you definitely would’ve collapsed on his face. But you were so desperate to cum, continuing to grind on his face as he licked a fat stripe from your hole to your clit. He caught his breath and looked up at you for a moment, his eyes dark and full of arousal.

“Go ahead, princesa… cum for me” Miguel moaned, going back to sucking your clit.

With just those words alone, the coil inside your stomach broke. You cried out loudly as you came, chanting his name over and over again. Your legs shook and you nearly collapsed onto him, Miguel catching you just in time. He licked up every drop of your release, making sure to not let it go to waste. You whimpered as he continued to lick your sensitive pussy, becoming overstimulated from his tongue. Your hands pressed down onto the table to hold yourself up, catching your breath as you carefully crawled off of his face.

As you sat down on the table next to Miguel, he sat up straight and faced you, panting heavily. Your eyes widened as you saw his chin was soaked from your juices, a dark blush forming across your cheeks. Miguel noticed your face as he finally caught his breath, a small laugh leaving his lips.

“How do you feel?” Miguel asked, licking his lips and wiping his chin off with his coat sleeve.

A soft breath left your mouth as you looked at him, a sheepish smile forming on your face, “I feel… I feel like that was the best thing I’ve ever experienced..”

Miguel chuckled and leaned over to you, placing a tender kiss to your lips. You melted against him and returned the kiss, slowly pulling away to look at him.

“I’m glad I could make you feel like that… say, uh… our shift actually ended like… 10 minutes ago” Miguel spoke as he checked his watch.

Your eyes widened as you looked around for your discarded clothes, Miguel quickly grabbing them before you could get off of the table.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I got it. Just sit for a little bit, catch your breath” He mumbled, putting your clothes back on for you.

Your chest fluttered as he did so, smiling at him in a loving way. Miguel noticed this and chuckled as he helped you put your panties back on.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing… I was just wondering.. do you wanna stay the night at my place?” You offered, moving your hips a little as Miguel clothed you.

Miguel grinned widely at the offer, placing a peck to your forehead and nodding.

“Of course, I’d like that… I’ll buy dinner for us on the way there. My treat for this” Miguel hummed, putting your shirt on and placing soft kisses to your knuckles.

Your smile widened as he said that, pulling him in for a kiss. Miguel wrapped his arms around you as he kissed you back, his forehead pressed against yours as you two pulled away. He helped you off of the table and the both of you made your way out of the building, holding your hand and rubbing his thumb across your skin.

“Oh, by the way… I heard everything that happened with your co-workers. I was listening the whole time” Miguel admitted, looking over at you.

Your head whipped over to him, a surprised expression on your face. “You were-??”

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it. I actually got promoted as a manager a few weeks ago, so…”

Your eyes widened as a small gasp left your lips. “Wait, so that means-“

“That means you won’t be having to deal with them for much longer. I know those assholes have been messing with you since you got here… plus, everything they said about you is wrong. You’re the best worker this place has to offer and those dickheads have been here longer than you have” Miguel responded to you, placing a kiss to your temple.

A grin formed on your lips as joy filled your chest, squeezing Miguel’s hand.

“Thank you, Miguel… that means everything to me.”

“Of course. I gotta make sure my girl is okay.”

You let out a laugh as he said that, placing a soft kiss on his cheek as you walked with him down the street.

“So, is that your way of saying I’m your girlfriend now?” You chuckled.

“Only if you want to be” Miguel answered with a smirk.

You gently smacked his shoulder with your other hand and scoffed playfully, earning a laugh from him.

“Of course I do, Miguel.”

“Good. Because I’m not letting you go.”

[lady-of-blossoms]

「 ✦ whispers of heartbreak ✦ 」

Warning: angst, infertility, mistress

PART 2

___________________________

The nightmare Y/N experiences throughout her life is having to accept the fact that her husband is careless, remarried and has two wives.

This is because you were unable to get pregnant and in the end were forced to agree to gojo remarrying.

His second wife's pregnancy made the whole family excited and all of gojo’s attention was focused on his second wife—Rebecca.

at dinner and the three of them gathered,gojo , Y/N and Rebecca.

He stroked Rebecca's stomach, who had been pregnant for 6 months. He turned to you who was eating while daydreaming

"Y/N , today I can't accompany you to sleep because I have to look after Rebecca, is that okay?" asked gojo who didn't make an expression when he saw you.

Youre eyes widened slightly at his request, a pang of hurt and disappointment shooting through your chest. You swallowed hard, trying to keep your emotions in check as you met his gaze.

"Of course, gojo," you replied softly, forcing a smile onto your face. "I understand. Congratulations again on your pregnancy, Rebecca." You offered a genuine smile towards his new wife, youre heart aching at the sight of him so enamored with someone else.

"I'll just go to bed early then," you continued, standing up from the table and gathering your plate. "Have a good night taking care of Rebecca." You gave a small nod before turning to leave, your steps heavy with unshed tears as you retreated to youre bedroom alone once more.

Gojo watched her leave, feeling a twinge of guilt for causing her pain. But he quickly pushed it aside, focusing back on Rebecca. He leaned down to kiss her forehead gently, his hand still resting on her growing belly.

"Thank you, darling," he murmured fondly, before turning his attention back to his meal. "How about we take a nap together after dinner? It might be nice to rest before the baby comes."

He glanced over at Y/N’s empty seat one last time, feeling a pang of regret for how things had turned out between them. But he knew there was nothing he could do to change it now.

In the privacy of their shared bedroom, Y/N allowed herself to crumble. Tears streamed down yourr face as you sank onto the edge of the bed, your body shaking with silent sobs. The sting of rejection cut deep, amplified by the constant reminder of your own infertility.

You curled into herself, hugging your knees tightly to your chest as if to hold yourself together. Your mind raced with painful thoughts - memories of happier times with gojo, dreams of a future that would never come to pass, and the bitter realization that your had lost the man she loved to another woman.

"Why couldn't I give him what he wanted?" You whispered brokenly to yourself, your voice muffled against your knees. "Why wasn't I enough?"

The ache in your heart felt suffocating, like a physical weight pressing against your chest.

Gojo finished his meal and excused himself from the table shortly afterward. As promised, he joined Rebecca in their bedroom for some rest.

He held her close, his arm draped protectively around her waist as they lay down together under the covers. His mind wandered back to Woojin briefly, but he quickly shook off those thoughts, choosing instead to focus on the warmth of Rebecca's body pressed against his own.

"We're going to be parents soon," he thought contentedly, and everything will finally fall into place."

But even amidst this happiness, a nagging sense of guilt lingered at the back of his mind – a guilt he refused to acknowledge fully.

A FEW MONTHS LATER

It was a bittersweet morning for Y/N. Today marked both her birthday and the day she had to share the spotlight with Rebecca giving birth. You awoke to the sound of commotion outside your room, nurses rushing past and gojo’s panicked voice echoing down the hallway.

"Y/N! Y/N!"

He burst into her room, his face flushed and eyes wild with excitement. "It's happening! Rebecca's in labor!"

Y/N sat up slowly, your heart sinking at the news. Of all days... you managed a weak smile, pushing down the swell of emotion threatening to overwhelm you.

"That's wonderful, gojo. Go be with her. I'm sure she needs you right now."

Feeling the weight of your loneliness press down on you, you got dressed quietly and slipped out of the house unnoticed. You needed space to process everything that was happening, away from prying eyes and judgemental gazes.

Walking aimlessly through the city streets, you found solace in the familiar rhythm of her footsteps and the comforting buzz of the bustling crowd around you. Each step further from home served as a reminder of your freedom - a freedom you cherished despite its bitter sweetness.

"Today should've been about me," you thought bitterly, "but instead, everyone's only talking about Rebecca."

Lost in your thoughts, You found herself at a local café where you ordered a cup of hot chocolate to warm yourself from within. You took a seat by the window overlooking the street below, watching people go about their lives without a care in the world.

Sipping slowly on your drink, you tried to push away feelings of resentment and sadness that threatened to consume you. Instead, you chose to remember happier times with gojo - birthdays spent together laughing until your sides hurt, simple dinners shared under twinkling lights.

"Maybe this is my punishment for not being able to bear children," you pondered silently. "Or maybe it's just part of life's cruel irony."

Next chapter

TAGLIST🤍❄️🫐🩵

@kuro-chi69 @aishies-stuff @kalopsia-flaneur @luns-exlipse @anonnieghost @aqxllo @chatoicboy @sashisuslover

Dont steal

[2amriize]

hii! can I request riize members when you run away after confessing and/or maybe even avoiding them for a bit after? tyy

˚⟡˖ when you run away after confessing your feelings — RIIZE

ᡣ𐭩 masterlist

note! hiii! i tried a new way of doing reactions. i dont know if i like this way or the other one better... ●︿●

genre fluff, angst ?

pairing bsf!riize x reader

ᯓ★ SHOTARO

It was the last day of the dance course you had signed up for when you approached Shotaro, a guy you had met in the course and who had really caught your attention.

Everyone was saying their goodbyes, so you went up to Shotaro.

"I love how you dance, seriously. Every time I see you dance, I just want to kiss you."

You said that last part without thinking, and the two of you stared at each other in silence, your face completely flushed.

Before he could say anything, you turned around and left the studio, quickly walking down the street.

Oh my god, why did you just say that?

You were usually someone who spoke without thinking, but you had never confessed like that by accident before.

As you were walking, you felt someone grab your arm, so you turned around.

It was Shotaro.

"How can you walk so fast? I had to run to catch up with you."

You were still embarrassed about what you had said, so you looked at the ground. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

Before you could finish the sentence, Shotaro interrupted you.

"Would you like to grab a coffee?"

"What?"

"I'm asking you out on a date, y/n."

ᯓ★ EUNSEOK

It wasn’t your fault that Eunseok and you ended up inches away from each other after hugging at the New Year's party.

And it wasn’t your fault that he didn’t step back and was looking straight into your eyes.

"I think I want to kiss you," you said.

"What?" was his response.

You quickly stepped back and ran out of the party.

Since that day, you hadn’t spoken to Eunseok again.

In fact, you were avoiding him, as he had texted you several times, but you simply ignored him.

How could you possibly talk to him after what you had said?

Although you could ignore him over text, it was impossible to ignore him when he showed up at your door.

You were surprised to see Eunseok when you opened the door.

You froze, not knowing what to say or do.

Eunseok didn’t say anything either; he simply stepped closer and held your face, pulling you in for a sweet kiss.

"I wanted you to be my New Year's kiss..."

ᯓ★ SUNGCHAN

You were at the amusement park with your friends, waiting in line to get on a ride next to Sungchan.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Do you like me or something?" Sungchan said, laughing.

"Yes, I do."

Everyone in your group of friends fell silent.

What?

Why did you just say?

After a few seconds where everyone was staring at you, you stepped out of the line and ran away from them.

You hid behind a food stand, sitting on the ground while replaying what you had said, bursting into tears.

You stayed there for a few minutes, wondering whether to go back to them or just go home.

Finally, you decided to head home, as you were too embarrassed to see Sungchan again.

"There you are..."

You heard Sungchan's voice as he stood in front of you.

You stood up, looking at him, with some tears still running down your cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" he asked as he looked at you, wiping your tears with his thumb.

"I'm... I'm just a bit embarrassed about what I said..."

Sungchan stayed silent as he stared at you. Noticing his gaze on you, you looked back at him, confused by the way he was looking at you.

"What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I like you."

ᯓ★ WONBIN

You had never argued with Wonbin before, but after he told you he had planned a date for you with one of his friends because "he thought you were hot," you couldn't help but get upset with him.

"Just because of that? Because he thinks I’m hot? And you didn't even ask me for my opinion."

"What does it matter, y/n? It's just a date, I'm not asking you to date him afterward."

"Well, it does matter to me, Wonbin. It would be my first date with a guy, and it's with a guy I don't even like."

"Well, I could go with a girl, and we could have a double date."

"Oh no, that's not happening."

"Why not? It would be fun."

"It wouldn’t be, Wonbin. I couldn’t stand seeing you with another girl," you said, on the verge of tears as you looked at him.

Wonbin looked at you in silence, a bit confused. Before you could start crying, you left his house.

When you got home, you broke down in tears. Why couldn't he see you the way you saw him? Eventually, you cried yourself to sleep after a while.

When you woke up the next morning, you woke up to the sound of someone knocking on your door.

You picked up your phone to check the time and saw that Wonbin had texted you, "Your date will pick you up later."

You couldn't believe it; he really didn’t care about what you had said.

You got out of bed and went to the door, as you had no intention of going on a date with that guy.

What you didn't expect was to see Wonbin on the other side with a bouquet of flowers.

"Sur...prise?"

ᯓ★ SEUNGHAN

It was a bad decision to drink that night.

What were you thinking when you texted Seunghan at 3 a.m., confessing your feelings for him?

"I like you so much, Seunghan, I think I’m in love with you."

When you read that message in the morning, all you wanted to do was hide from the world.

Just as you were about to delete the message from the chat, the notification popped up that he had read it.

And then, nothing for a few minutes.

Why wasn’t he replying?

But even if he did, what were you going to do?

You were about to turn off your phone when Seunghan called you.

Oh no.

No way, you were not talking to him.

You decided to ignore that call, and the next one, and the next one.

But he didn’t stop calling (literally).

After he had been calling you for almost an hour, you decided to pick up the phone.

"I'm sorry, Seunghan, I sent that when I was…"

"I think I'm in love with you too."

ᯓ★ SOHEE

You were playing Mario Kart with Sohee at your place.

Both of you were very competitive, so you decided to set a challenge for whoever lost the round.

After winning a few rounds, you lost, so Sohee started thinking of a question or challenge for you.

"Oh, I know. I've been thinking that you seem happier these days... Do you like someone?" he asked, smiling at you.

You got serious when you heard his question.

Did you really have to confess like this?

You looked at him in silence, searching for the words to tell Sohee how you felt.

"Well? Are you going to answer?"

"Um... well, the truth is, I like you, Sohee..." you murmured, looking at him, blushing a little.

The smile he had on his face disappeared, and when you noticed how his expression changed, you knew you should have lied instead of confessing.

You quickly got up from the couch and ran to the bathroom, unable to bear the way he was looking at you.

You closed the door behind you, but not even a minute passed before you heard Sohee knocking on the door.

"y/n, come out. I'm sorry for reacting like that; it just caught me off guard."

You were sitting on the toilet seat in silence, not knowing how to respond.

"The truth is, I like you too, so please come out so we can talk…"

ᯓ★ ANTON

Anton and you had been working together in a café for a few months, and the truth is, he had caught your eye from the moment you saw him.

You didn’t expect to hear his voice behind you while you were talking to one of your coworkers about how handsome you thought Anton was.

That day, Anton wasn’t supposed to be working, but he ended up coming in to cover for another coworker.

When you realized he had overheard the entire conversation, you walked out of the kitchen.

You spent the rest of the day trying to avoid him. Every time he came near you, you would go somewhere else, ignoring him.

You couldn’t even look him in the eyes because, what were you going to say? You were too embarrassed.

You even thought about quitting or changing your shifts so you wouldn't run into him.

The day came to an end, and it was your turn to close and clean up the store.

You thought everyone had left, but you got a big scare when you heard Anton whisper behind you.

"Can we talk now?"

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm sorry if what you heard made you uncomfortable," you said while cleaning the floor.

"You've been ignoring me all day, and I didn't bother you to get you to talk to me, but at least hear me out."

You looked at him in silence, pausing for a moment from cleaning.

"I'm glad you think I’m handsome, but you could have confessed directly to me."

"Anton... I..."

"No need to say anything. How about I take you out to dinner instead of just standing here?"

ᡣ𐭩 masterlist

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

𝐀 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦

Haha...so...I wrote this in one sitting on my phone, which is unlike me. I prefer working on my computer but oh well, I couldn't stop. I'm insatiable and there was not enough Tom in season 2.

Summary: You and Tom take a nice walk through the park...until the rain starts pouring.

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI), public sex, rough oral (m!receiving), kinda mean!dom Tom, implied subspace, teasing, dacryphilia, slapping, daddy kink, degradation, orgasm denial/control, and fluff cause I couldn't help myself🤷🏻‍♀️

word count | 2.2k🤙🏻

It had been a few weeks since Tom came back home. Tears of joy rarely seemed to leave your eyes, as Tom rarely ever let you leave his bed. But today, you decided it was too lovely outside to stay indoors all day, even though it would’ve been enjoyed regardless. The weather was predicted to be sunny with a nice breeze all afternoon, so you couldn’t possibly let yourself waste such a day.

You managed to convince Tom of the idea, after what seemed like hours of complaining and trying to get you to change your mind. But you weren’t having it, no matter how many times Tom said he’d bring you to a breathtaking release if you’d just allow yourselves to stay home.

You both walked to a local park, hand in hand, basking in the warm glow the sun offered, hearing the birds chirp happily, and glancing around at all the other people who must've had the same idea as you. And Tom, albeit reluctantly, started allowing himself to enjoy it and your company. Although, seeing a kid drop their ice cream cone and immediately bursting into fitful wails brought him enough joy that he started to think it was worth it. 

It wasn't until the skies suddenly darkened, the sun almost disappearing into oblivion, that you and Tom started regretting your decisions. 

It was slow at first, just a few droplets hitting the tops of your heads, then a few droplets turned into an absolute downpour. 

You squealed as you, Tom, and everyone else at the park started to get drenched, most scurrying to their vehicles or shutting themselves in their homes that were somewhat nearby. You and Tom didn't have such luck, as you both walked miles to get to this destination. What a great choice on your part. So all you really could do was take cover along the treeline of the woods that aesthetically encircled the park. 

As you watched the rain come down harder, you heard Tom sigh heavily and you rolled your eyes, already knowing you were about to get an earful...but it never came. You looked up at him in slight curiosity, seeing that a content expression was plastered over his visage, not an annoyed wrinkle or frown in sight. 

Tom glanced towards you, seeing your confused expression. "What?" 

You shook your head, jutting your bottom lip out slightly and shrugging your shoulders. "Thought you'd be...less calm than you are right now. More...mad." 

Tom furrowed his brows, going back to watching the rainfall. "Why would I be mad?" 

You chuckled weakly. "Well, you didn't really wanna come out here in the first place." 

He smirked, gently bumping your shoulder with his. "Ah, I was just pulling your leg, luv. I was happy to come out here, with you. I'm still happy to be here with you...never thought I'd get the chance again." 

You'd think your whole body would turn into a puddle right then and there, mixing with the rain and seeping into the damp soil. But alas, all it did was ignite a burning, consuming fire in the pit of your belly, almost disappointed Tom said such a thing and didn't do anything afterwards. 

You looked at your surroundings. Not a soul in sight, nobody but the two of you. The scarce playground equipment shook and swings swung violently with the wind, creaking and groaning from the force. If you were to scream, most likely no one would be able to hear you through the small storm. Why did the thought turn you on even more? And Tom, he looked so peaceful, the ever permanent curve in his lips deepening every time thunder shook the earth. 

Before you could overthink it, you started to lower yourself to the ground, the muddiness of the dirt that started to stick to your knees and ends of your dress doing nothing to quell the desire that kept on building inside you. 

Gaining his attention immediately, Tom looked down at you in dark intrigue, watching as you settled yourself on your knees. "And what do you think you're doing, sweet girl?" You didn't reply as you reached your hands up to palm his cock through his trousers, hearing him let out a barely audible grunt at your ministrations. "You do realize we're in public?" 

"You want me to stop?" You looked up at him with wide doe eyes, putting on an innocent expression even though you and Tom both knew fully well how debaucherous you really could be. 

You gasped as Tom reached down, grabbing you by the roots of your hair at the nape of your neck, pulling you into a bruising kiss. "You're a fuckin' vixen, you know that? A whore is what you've turned into since I've been gone, is that it?" 

"Yes...but I'm your whore." 

And with that response, you crossed the point of no return, which is exactly where you wanted to be. 

Tom smirked, his cock instantly responding to your words and actions. "Yeah, you are, baby." He brought you into another passionate kiss, biting your bottom lip before pulling away, making you whimper. "Let's see how your whore mouth can be put to use, hm?" He growled, leaning back and relaxing against a tree, a smug aura surrounding him as he watched and waited for your next move. 

You smiled as you took his cock out, hard and pulsing warmly beneath the weight of your hand, a gush of slick pooling at your entrance at the breathy moan Tom made as you ran your tongue along him from base to tip, weakly suckling on the head to tease him. And you repeated those motions a few times before he stopped you, grabbing onto your hair with a growl. "Fuckin' tease. You gonna suck my cock like a good little slut, or do I have to force you? 'Cause I can force you, luv, you know I can." You involuntarily let out a whimpery moan, clenching your thighs together at his low, threatening voice. "Ah, I see. That's what you want, huh? You want me to use you like the whore you are? I can fuckin' do that." 

"Tom-" You yelped when he slapped you with his cockhead, making you widen your eyes up at him. 

"Nah, sweetheart, whores don't get to use my real name. So, I'm only gonna ask you once: who am I?" 

Your heart hammered in your ribcage, never having felt so frightened and aroused at the same time. "...Daddy." 

Tom grinned evilly, and in pride. "That's my good girl. Now, beg Daddy to fuck your mouth, go on." 

"Daddy," you let out with another pathetic whimper, "please, fuck my mouth. I need to feel your big cock." 

"Open." He prodded the tip of his cock at your lips, coaxing them to part. "Wider. Yeah, that's it." He groaned loudly as he rammed himself inside your hot, wet mouth, hitting the back of your throat immediately and making you gag around him. "Fuck, so good for me." He pulled back and thrusted back in roughly, over and over again, until tears ran down your cheeks and your drool spilt down your chin copiously. "See what happens when you tease your Daddy, hm? You brought this on yourself." 

You moaned around his cock, the vibrations making him groan loudly, the still pouring rain drowning at any noise. No one would be able to hear you gagging on his dick, or his moans, nor the wet squelching of your cunt as you started to finger yourself to relieve some of the tension building in you. But Tom could hear it. "You better not be touching yourself, girl. Only I get to abuse that pretty pussy of yours." Tom pulled you up from the ground, your lips releasing his dick with a wet pop, your fingers retreating from your quivering form in the process. 

Your eyes were glazed over in a haze, mad with lust and pleasure, unable to focus as Tom brought up your hand by the wrist. He lightly slapped you, bringing your vision back into focus. "Were you touching yourself?" 

He asked so lowly, you were scared, so you mewled out a soft, "No." 

Your response only made him smirk. "Hm. So, if I were to stick your fingers in my mouth, I wouldn't be able to taste you, right?" You didn't even have the chance to respond before he wrapped his lips around your fingers, his tongue swirling around the digits before releasing them with another hum. "A whore and a liar? What am I to do with you?" 

And before you knew it, Tom had you pinned up against the same tree he was leaning on previously, the bark digging into your back uncomfortably. "You know what I do with whores, but what do you think I should do with liars? Surely, I shouldn't reward them for their behavior, right?" 

You stuttered, unable to form words in your lust driven mind. "Tom-" You started to sob out, being interrupted with another slap, much harsher than the last. 

"What did I tell you?" He growled. "Whores aren't allowed to use my real name. Why can't you just do as you're told? You've grown so wild and rebellious since I've been away. I think I need to put you back in your place." 

Tom turned you around, lifting up your dress to reveal your underwear already pushed to the side, giving him access to your needy cunt. "Just a slut." You cried out loudly as he pushed two fingers inside you roughly. "That's all you are." He spat in your ear, curling his fingers to hit your sweet spot, tears springing to your ears as pleasure overtook you all too easily. "So worked up, aren't you? You gonna come so quickly?" 

"Yes!" You sobbed, practically shaking from the cold of the atmosphere and the pleasure Tom was giving you. And he wouldn't fuckin' stop, bringing you right to the precipice before pulling away completely and landing a painful slap to your clit. "Ow!" You whined.

"What? You think I was gonna let you come that easily? No, you have to earn it, girl." 

"Please...please..." You cried softly, completely leaning onto the tree in quiet exhaustion, so desperate for a release that you couldn't possibly notice or care about the wood scratching up your delicate skin. 

"You sound so pretty for me, luv. And using your manners. It's almost enough to make me wanna show you mercy." 

Your body thrummed with hopefulness, your mind going into tunnel vision at the prospect of getting off. "Daddy, please. I'll be a good girl. I won't touch myself, I won't tease you, I promise. I'll behave, Daddy, I swear it." You sobbed, soft hiccups escaping your lips. 

"Hey, hey," Tom cooed, running his hands over your skin gently, gooseflesh rising along where his fingers made their path. "You are a good girl. My good, sweet girl." You preened at his praise, letting out a shuddering sigh as he finally pushed his cock into you. "I believe you've learned your lesson, luv. Now, all you have to do is come for me." He whispered in your ear, a strangled moan brushing past your ears as he sped up his thrusts. "Think you can do that for me?" 

You cried out softly as the tip of his cock kept bullying the rough patch along the front of your walls, your climax already building back up with brutal force. "Yes, Daddy." 

"Tom." He corrected, and you grinned. 

You moaned as Tom reached around to run circles on your clit, pleasure dizzying your senses, making you lightheaded. You were right there. "Please..." You wailed. 

"Say my name when you come, sweet girl. Come for me." 

"Tom!" You chanted his name like a prayer, your velvety walls squeezing around him tightly as your orgasm washed over you in tidal waves, Tom's grip on you the only thing keeping you standing on your own two feet. 

"Fuck, baby!" Tom cursed, rutting against like a wild animal until he came with a loud grunt, almost collapsing against you until he remembered there was only a tree there that couldn't keep the both of you upright in the position you both were in. 

A calming beat until Tom broke the silence first. "I love you." 

And just like that, the skies cleared and the rain stopped. The sun shined brightly once again, the fresh smell of watered earth covering up the stench of sex and sweat. 

"We should, uh, probably be getting home, huh?" Tom smirked, putting his softening cock back inside his pants and helping you fix your dress. To anyone none the wiser, it just looked like you both were drenched with rain water. You were of course, but it mixed with sweat from exertion. "And if anyone asks, you slipped and fell because you're atrociously clumsy."

You faked offense, playfully shoving him off the sidewalk as you walked back home, an easy grin on both your faces. 

You grabbed ahold of Tom's hand, squeezing it gently before leaning to kiss his cheek, the innocent gesture making him blush harder than any sex driven act could. 

"I love you too, Tom Bennett, more than you could ever know.”

sorry it's a bit shorter but i legit don't have time to write long fics all the time anymore. sadge. hope y'all enjoyed regardless. hashtag justice for Tom Bennett.

[seullovesme]

Hi I saw you write for nmixx so can I request a childhood friends to lovers fic with Sullyoon? Thanks!

enchanted » seol yoona

pairing ⥬ sullyoon x childhood bff!reader

genre ⥬ fluff at the end

summary ⥬ after making a new friend, sullyoon slowly starts to spend more of her time with her rather than with you. "please don't be in love with someone else.."

warnings ⥬ slight angst, reader is lowkey jealous

WC ⥬ 1.9k

you sigh at your phone, yet another message was left on read by the one girl you looked forward to messaging each day. you shut it off, flipping it over to look at the polaroid of the two of you.

you were cheek to cheek, smiling as wide as possible as you hugged her tightly. it was taken by her mother right after your 17th birthday that you had spent with her, and it was one of your most treasured pictures together as it was also the day you realized you had fallen for her. it was both a blessing and a curse to have noticed her effect on you.

after discovering your romantic feelings for yoona, every moment felt like it was magnified times ten. every hug, every touch, every laugh, you felt every second of each moment in the depths of your heart, and even quiet times where nobody would say anything was enough to make you want to cry in happiness. she felt closer than before.

the downside is now you're too aware of her distance.

just a couple of weeks ago, she had mentioned that she had met a girl at her part-time job at the cafe and she was introduced to you a few days later. her new friend was gorgeous. her name was kim minji and she was also working at that cafe, still under training by your best friend.

you had a nice time meeting her, which you had told yoona afterwards when she was bugging you about your thoughts on her new buddy. minji was nothing but kind and fun to talk to. maybe that's why yoona began to talk to her more than she did with you.

after that week, she would tell you all about the funny things that happened during her time training minji and how much she loved to spend time with her. you listened to every word she said with a smile on your face, trying to ignore the way your heart wavered at her words. she was allowed to have friends, so you weren't going to tell her you were just jealous because she had fun with someone else.

over time, it only got worse for you. you reminded yourself that you weren't jealous of kim minji every time your best friend had told you she was already going out with her whenever you asked to hangout, but her time was always spent with her new best friend. "sorry, not this friday, me and minji are gonna go shopping!", "omg you won't believe what minji did at work today!", "do you think minji would like the cafe we always go to?", it was always her.

there was a point where you couldn't handle the pain anymore and started to return the energy by ignoring her messages, turning down all her hangout invites, and you stopped visiting her house. you were hoping that she would ask what was wrong, or at least acknowledge that something in your friendship changed, but she didn't seem to even notice. probably distracted by that kim minji..

but how could you hate her? she was only ever kind to you and you could tell that your shy best friend had so easily opened up to this girl, so why did you want to hate her so badly?

you screamed into your pillow, punching it over and over, letting your heart pour out every emotion that was tearing away at it. you yelled and cried, freeing the bottled up frustration, and it was starting to kinda relieve that straining ache in your chest. you calmed down and sat there with a hand over where your heart sits, feeling how fast it was beating as your chest rose and fell.

loud footsteps thundered from behind your room door. before you had any time to react, a troubled yoona bursted through, panting heavily. "y/n!" she called, worried laced in her tone. she dashed to you and cupped your face in her hands. you barely had time to process and the fact that your cheeks were a thousand degrees didn't help. she moved your face to observe every inch, her eyebrows tensed in concern.

"yoona, what are you doing.." you asked shyly. she stopped moving you and just looked into your eyes as if she was searching for answers in them.

she let go and sighed loudly. "you were screaming, and i thought you got hurt. why are you crying?"

"when did you get here, or why are you here?" you ignore her question, confused on why she randomly decided to show up at your home. she just nervously tapped her knee as her eyes darted around your room. she pulled out her phone for a moment, seeming to be reading over something. she set her phone down onto your side table.

"i'll be right back, don't go anywhere. i have something for you." she says quickly before leaving your room at the speed of light, leaving you no time to clear up your confusion. she really never gives you any time to react at all.

you hear a buzz come from your nightstand and you look to see yoona's phone screen shining brightly, still open from when she was using it. another buzz was heard. you contemplated on picking it up, not knowing if she would be okay with it, but you two always shared your phones. your curiosity got the best of you and you picked it up.

3 notifications from "minji 🤩🤩🤩"

you clicked on the notification, opening their text messages together.

your hand hovered over your mouth, covering the way your jaw fell after reading through the most recent texts. you dropped yoona's phone onto the floor, the crash echoing through the silent room. yoona stood at the doorway and watched as the phone hit the ground. she knew you saw something you shouldn't have.

she ran to the phone and flipped it, seeing that her dms were open. she looked up at you and tried to decipher what that face meant. were you happy? mad? sad? she couldn't tell if you being so flabbergasted was a good thing or a bad one. "listen y/n–"

"you like me? wait no, you're in love with me?" you asked at a whisper level. yoona felt like crawling into a shell. she wanted to hide from the confrontation, but she had to do it eventually.

she inhaled. "yes, i'm in love with you. i've known that since we were 13." she sighed and hid her face into her palms. "i didn't mean for you to find out like this, i wanted to confess with flowers and a beautiful dinner, maybe even see the sunset together. not in your bedroom with you accidentally finding out because i was stupid and left my phone here. i.. love you and i will keep loving you, so don't be afraid to tell me you don't feel the same. we'll always be the best of friends and i can learn to–" she stopped talking to catch you as you jumped into her, wrapping your arms around her neck.

"we're so silly.. yoona, i had no idea that you even thought of me romantically, i thought that.." you paused to look away, a little shy to admit it out loud. "i thought you fell for minji." it was her turn to be the surprised one. you pulled onto your bed, seating her right beside you, shoulder to shoulder. her head turned to you and she realized how close the two of you really were, getting a bit red.

"minji? why minji?"

"well, you always spent more time with her after you met her. even when you weren't with her, you would talk about her. it just seemed like kim minji was the only girl who clouded your mind." you muttered the last sentence, feeling shy saying that straight up. the corner of yoona's lips started to curl up.

"you've got it all wrong. you are the only girl who clouds my mind, not minji. she's just one of my closest friends and besides, i'm pretty sure she has a girlfriend."

"then why do you always talk about her like she's the only thing you ever think about?" you complain, huffing as you cross your arms. your jealousy is only adorable to yoona because you're acting like a sad puppy, which makes her giggle.

"i was always worried that if i didn't talk about minji, then i would end up thinking about you and how much i just want to hold you."

"why? did you not want to?"

"what? of course i did, but i didn't want you to see it wrong. after that night of your 17th birthday, my feelings were only growing stronger and we were so close, i didn't want to ruin years of pure happiness with you just because of my dumb heart." she put her hand over her heart, trying to calm it down. "i wanted to kiss you that day, every second i was with you i thought about doing it. you were glowing and just so happy, and seeing you be so vibrant because we spent the day together.. it gave me hope that you loved me the way i loved you."

when she finished, you remained silent, looking into her eyes. tell her you love her, tell her you love her, tell her you–

"well i do, i love you the same way you love me."

the girl was speechless. yoona felt like she was floating, pouncing on you the moment your words settled in. you laughed as she hugged you tightly. you laid back on your bed and kept her in your arms, cuddling her into your side. she let go to sit up, staring at your lips.

as soon as you smiled, she leaned down and kissed you. you melted into the kiss you had been dreaming about for so long, loving how her lips felt on yours. you only stopped because you both needed to breathe, otherwise you would have continued. nothing about the kiss was sexual, but instead felt like every feeling, emotion, and desire you both had been holding in for so long.

"i've been waiting for that." she says while catching her breath. "it feels good to be near you, it feels like forever since i last saw you."

"and whose fault is that?" you raise an eyebrow at her, clearly accusing her of being the reason. she gasps in offense.

"me?! you're the one who's been turning me down!" she shoots back in a lighthearted manner.

you scoff. "okay, the hypocrisy is insane, you've been turning me down to hang out with minji!"

yoona opens her mouth to say something, but closes it when she realizes that she has been doing that. she lays back down and places her arm around your torso, pulling you into her. "alright, alright. you're right, i have been doing that, but it was within reason. the one where i didn't want to ruin everything." you let out an airy laugh at how dumb that sounded. you both were so clueless that avoiding your love for each other was actually the thing keeping you apart.

"i know, it's okay. don't do that anymore. from now on, let's be 100 percent honest with each other about things like this." yoona nods in agreement, snuggling against your neck.

it was nice to finally be able to love the girl of your dreams, your best friend, your soulmate, and call her yours.

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

Hiiiii <3 can you do a do how the mob boys would treat you after getting a abortion or if your not comfortable with that period pains / cramps? Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

don't worry, I am comfortable with this. Will defo be writing a how the mob! boys react to you getting your period as well, though.

Mob! Leo

Knew it was for the best

you guys always used protection but 4 months into your relationship you were 2 months pregnant.

you didn't know each other well enough to move in yet alone have a kid together.

He drove you to the clinic, was willing to go in with you but the doctors wouldn't allow it

he would have though.

after it's done he thanks you, says how he knows that would have been difficult to do but it was the right choice

he pampers you for the few days you have to rest afterwards

all your fave foods, drinks, shows, movies, flowers...the works.

he really tries to take care of you

he lets you cry if you need to, he lets you get angry at him if you need to

he kind of just rolls with whatever strong emotion comes up

he won't let you blame him, though

"Takes two to tango" he always says when you get a bit accusatory.

he'll just hold you and talk, about anything. The weather, your plans over the next few weeks, ask the odd question so you're not just sobbing in his arms

he tries, he really tries.

Mob! Raph

oop he should have seen this coming

he isn't exactly great and remembering to use condoms....

it's a long conversation when you decide to terminate the pregnancy.

he kind of wants to keep it, be a dad and all, but you both decide that it's not the right time.

He waits in the car for you, not really wanting to go inside since he wasn't 100% on board with it anyways

when you get in the car, you immediately burst into tears.

"we did the right thing" he says but even he doesn't sound sure

it's more like a question

he isn't the most attentive at first

kind of avoids you a little

but when he see's how much you're struggling he steps up.

takes you out on a nice date night to remind you why you're with him in the first place.

you have a great time, Raph is fun, always has been

you almost forget why he's brought you out

as you're heading home he says "you know, there's always time to, y'know... Have one. Now just isn't the right time"

He wants a future with you and that means a lot to you

Mob! Mikey

He kind of freaks when you tell him you need an abortion

he thought you were at the point where you'd start a family

once you explain the extenuating circumstance as to why that wouldn't be a great idea right now, he's half on board.

not going to make an effort to be a a part of this, though

he isn't bad to you after the procedure...Just the same old Mikey

that is until he wakes you to you curled in a ball on the floor, your hormones all over the place making you sob

then he's better

he tries to talk you through it but he isn't the best at that

"I'll knock you up again now if you want, just stop crying. please?"

that is...not the right thing to say

Mob! Donnie

practically tells you that you have to get one

"you're not ruining my reputation and trapping me with some bastard child!"

Does not drive you there, doesn't want to be seen outside that sort of clinic, just in case

it's only when he sees how badly it's effecting you he's even a tiny bit nicer

((Only because he see's this as a good opportunity to get what he wants, he's evil...)))

you wake up to flowers on your bedside table the next day and the smell of pancakes wafting up the stair, he's made you breakfast

"you know, now that we've been through this, we're stronger" he begins

he wants devotion, your undying loyalty and your soul if you'll give it tbh

"this will only make us closer"

he's all you've got really, your family didn't approve of this relationship and they defo wouldn't approve of you having an abortion...

[laura1633]

maybe tw for toxic environment and stereotypes

pregnant max adamant that charles won’t be in the delivery room. when he got pregnant, he start talking to some other omegas in the hospital while waiting his turn. so sometimes they hang out together and some of omegas are experienced mamas, and talks a lot about their experience in labour, motherhood and being good wife/husband for their alphas. one day one of them told that no alpha could see delivery their baby, because they apparently would lose interest in omega in sexual way. max due his past insecurities gets this too close to his heart. so from that day he absolutely shuts down every charles’ try to convince him to be with him when time comes. he also start being more housework, even when charles trying to do it, because “every good omega should provide his alpha warm dinner and clean house” charles is worried about all this situation and really doesn’t like that omega group because every time max returns from their meetings he has new strange thoughts about all his life.

so when the day x comes max is sure that charles would not know until baby arrives. “luckily” it’s tuesday and charles is doing media for italy gp. after lots painful hours alone in room he calls his boyfriend, crying. he knows that charles couldn’t get there right know, and he regrets sending his alpha away on wednesday. charles is furious that max called his so late but promised be there as soon as possible. more few hours in pain alone and when midwife telling him to push there is charles who running to him. he burst into tears and last most painful moments of birth he spending into his alpha’s lovely arms. max is exhausted and in not pleased way, so is happy that he decided to do a homebirth. midwife helps him to lie down on bed and he looks at charles who carries their little daughter around the room. later when it’s only three of them max starts crying and apologising to charles again and again. charles even is he is upset don’t like to see his omega in tears, brings their daughter back to bed and lies near his omega and hugging him. he tells that he is upset but not with max, but in situation when he allows max to believe that there’s a chance that he doesn’t love him. they both falls asleep hugging. they will be okey.

Oh anon, this is great! So sad for Max 🥺 I am glad he had his lovely alpha with him in the end and looking after him afterwards.

I think Max would have a lot of insecurities because people have always told him that as an omega he should not be racing and should be making a nice home for himself and Charles. He never believed all that until he got pregnant and became scared of letting his baby and Charles down so he wants to make sure he does everything "right".

Charles' heart would absolutely break to see Max crying his eyes out and in pain. I know he would make sure Max understands that they are a partnership.

[outerspaceismyhappyplace]

Haven’t quite had the energy lately to write a whole fic. Here are a couple scenes from a bby Obanai sickfic that I gave up on (partially because I’ve already written an Obanai sickfic lol I don’t want to be repetitive) -

“Poor baby. You must’ve caught the stomach bug Muichiro had a few days ago…”

Obanai’s face twisted in anger. “Stupid Mui,” he muttered. “Gotted me sick.”

“It wasn’t his fault, baby, it’s not like he got you sick on purpose,” said Mitsuri. “I don’t think you were even around Muichiro when he was sick. So I’m not sure how…” she trailed off, guilt blooming in her gut. Oh. Obanai might not have been around Muichiro when he was sick—but Mitsuri had been.

Muichiro had been so sick. He was sick enough that he apparently didn’t even put up a fight when Shinobu told him he needed to go to the hospital. Mitsuri stopped by briefly to check on him that night after she’d heard, not intending to stay long or get too close—but she got there just in time to hear Shinobu say, “Muichiro, please stop asking for more pain medicine. It’s a waste. You already know you’re just going to vomit again before it has a chance to work; we have to just wait until your stomach settles down a bit first.” and Muichiro promptly burst into tears. Mitsuri had never seen Muichiro cry before—wasn’t even sure he could cry—and it felt wrong to just stand there in the doorway while there was a sobbing child in need of comfort. He was so confused and upset from his high fever that he’d let Mitsuri hold him for a little bit until he fell asleep.

She had washed her hands afterwards, of course, but she didn’t think to change out of her uniform before she went to meet Obanai for dinner…

Oh, she was so stupid! Obanai had a weak immune system and was prone to sickness; she should have taken better precautions to avoid contaminating him. The thought had occurred to her the day afterwards but Mitsuri felt fine so she assumed Obanai was probably in the clear too…

Obviously, this was not the case.

-

“This one time, when Rengoku and I were on our way back from a mission, we bought out everything at a street vendor and we both got food poisoning from it,” said Mitsuri. “We were sooo sick. I went back home to my parents for a few days until I felt better, because I was so sick I needed someone to help take care of me. It happens to everyone sometimes, sweetheart.”

The story was intended to make Obanai feel better, but instead his face scrunched up and he started crying again.

“Huh? What’s wrong?“ she asked frantically, pulling away so she could examine him.

Obanai sobbed and reached for her in protest. “Mommy w-was sick!”

Mitsuri’s expression softened and she cradled him against her chest again. “Shh, shh, no, baby, it’s okay. Mommy’s all better now.”

“Mommy w-was sick, and…and, and…” Obanai hiccuped, struggling to get the words out. “A-and Obi w-wasn’t there…to m-make her feel better!”

Mitsuri’s heart melted. “Oh, baby,” she cooed, kissing his head over and over. “You’re the sweetest, cutest, most adorable, most thoughtful, most amazing most precious little boy in the whole wide world!”

“Bu-but I’m s-so gross!” Obanai wailed.

“Everybody’s gross sometimes, baby,” Mitsuri said, patting his back. “What if Mommy was sick and you were here to make me feel better? Would you think I was gross?”

“N-no!” Obanai cried. “No, love Mommy!”

“And I love you too, Obanai!” Mitsuri said. She kissed his forehead again. “So I’m gonna take good care of you until you feel all better, even if you’re gross. Okay?”

Obanai nodded slowly. “‘Kay, Mommy.”

[fawnforgold]

| But Nobody Knows |

Pairing: Kaeya x Gn!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI MY BLOG IS NOT SFW, Heavily selfship coded yet again, He/HIm for Kaeya, No pronouns for Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Reader has hair, Reader has intrusive thoughts, Anxiety, Mental Health Themes, Reader has trust issues rip, Gender Neutral Reader, 1.1k words.

Summary: When one night Kaeya comes home to find you curled up in bed with tears stained to your face, he finds himself holding onto you so tightly that very night, that he feared he’d break you.

A/n: Happy Birthday Kaeya!! I love you, king.

The day had gone by slowly and painfully. Thoughts had poured through your mind endlessly like a rain of misery. You yearned for the moment you could go home and curl up into bed, close the curtains, and cry into the pillows, hopeful the next day allowed you to forget about all the agony you endured. It felt as if your insides were bursting from the seams, like your wounds had been badly stitched up only to be ripped apart in a poor attempt to contain all the turmoil inside of you. You sobbed into the pillows, hiding your face from any poor soul who dared to enter your room. 

Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before someone came in. Not now, thankfully, but very, very soon. Hours had to have passed you by. The faint light in the room was now replaced with a deep darkness and the air surrounding was cold, so cold. You clawed at the pillow as you felt a pang in your heart, those tedious and horrible thoughts haunting you still. You took a few moments to catch your breath, gasping onto the fabric of the pillow sheets. It was then that you heard the front door to the house open. 

Fuck, you thought. Your husband was definitely home. Quickly you wiped away your tears and pretended you were asleep, desperate to escape an uncomfortable conversation you definitely did not want to have. Hearing a light knock at the door you immediately acted as if you were asleep. 

“Sweetheart? Is everything alright?” Kaeya asked you with obvious worry in his voice.

No reply from you, but a few tears fell down your face as you squeezed your eyes shut. Kaeya cautiously opened the door, asking if you were alright, again. When he received no response he turned on a nearby lamp and slowly walked towards you, kneeling in front of your side of the bed where you laid. Kaeya said your name, waiting for a response, but still nothing. That’s when he proceeded to move the hair out of your face and reveal your very pained expression followed by fresh tears falling down your face. 

He sighed. “Honey, I know you’re awake. Please, talk to me.” He pleaded with you to be honest with him, and you were far too weak to ignore his pleas. You could practically feel the pain in his voice.

Slowly opening your eyes you were met with his, his eyebrows were furrowed into a worried expression and you couldn’t help but feel a tad bit guilty. This is my fault,  you thought to yourself. You had to tell him, had to confess your pain even if it felt uncomfortable and violating. Regardless, you chose to lift your head from the covers and tell Kaeya everything that had been running through your mind, all your worries and anxieties, and of course, he was so sweet afterwards. He climbed onto the bed and pulled you into his arms, stroking your hair gently as he told you how precious you were to him. 

“It’s okay. It’ll all be okay, sweetie.” He reassured you. 

You worried for a moment if he was actually telling the truth, or if this had all been some elaborate plan to get you to stop whining about your pain, but you knew that wasn’t the case, because that just isn’t in Kaeya’s nature to be so cruel. So, to calm your nerves and reduce your anxieties you reminded yourself of that. You reminded yourself of all the good and pure that Kaeya is and was. He would never lead you astray, never harm or deceive you, at least not without the best intentions. So, why should you question his love? The answer was simple, you shouldn’t and honestly, you didn’t want to. Not when he was holding you together, like glue holding a broken vase intact, with all the love and care he was physically able to feel for you. 

A few moments went by of your crying when it suddenly subsided and you thought to yourself how lucky you were to have such a supportive man like Kaeya in your life. He was holding you. You were a fucking mess and he was holding you as if you’d turn to dust at any given second. In that brief moment you wondered how fucked up in the head you head to be to question something so intimate and caring as what Kaeya was currently doing for you, but instead of furthering your punishment you allowed yourself to let go. Relinquishing yourself of the burden of human existence and just let yourself be for a moment. Just for once you allowed yourself to love and be loved by a truly wonderful man. 

A few minutes had passed and Kaeya had begun to rock you in his arms, shushing you quietly, and reassuring you that everything would be okay. You had begun to weep without even realizing it. Thankfully, Kaeya continued to reassure you that these emotions, these thoughts and worries you experienced, that they too shall pass. Even if you felt the world was crumbling down on you, you trusted his words. Even as you cried in his arms, clenching his shirt, you trusted him, because that’s the one thing you were so sure about. You were so sure that even if the world would go to shit, you could trust in him. And that was more than enough to get you through this difficult moment. So, relaxing your body once more you let it all out. All the tears, sorrow, guilt, and regret, until the time came when the sun would rise and a new day would begin. The next day you awoke in Kaeya’s arms that still held onto you dearly, and felt something new, something different. It wasn’t unknown to you what it was but it was an unfamiliar and unusual emotion for you to be feeling. For the first time in a very, very long time you felt hope. Hope that not everything would be so terrible and daunting all the time, hope that one day you’d wake up next to Kaeya and wouldn’t feel those tears hiding behind your eyes, and instead would feel a bright sensation like no other.

[thepaleys]

Uncle Serge and Aunt Ella came to see us for a few days before departing for abroad. They too seemed sad, cast down; there was that in their attitude towards us—my aunt's particularly—which aroused in us a vague presentiment.

One evening I was seated before my desk doing my lessons when Mlle. Héléne came into the room and handed me an envelope on which I recognized my father's handwriting. I tore it open quickly, spread out the letter, and started to read.

From the very first sentence, I understood that my father was about to announce something terrible. At first, I could not understand what it was; then, as I read, I knew. Mlle. Héléne, hovering near, came close and wanted to take me in her arms. I lifted an empty gaze towards her and re-read the letter.

My father announced his marriage to a person he called Olga Valerianovna Pistolkors. He wrote of how much he had suffered from loneliness and how great his love was for this woman, who would make him happy. He added that nothing could ever lessen his affection for us and that he hoped to keep ours. He asked us to think of his wife without ill feeling.

The sheet of paper fell to the floor, and I hid my head in my hands and broke into sobs. My governess drew me over to the couch and took me on her knee.

My dominating impression was that my father was dead to me. My sobs became a kind of nervous hiccupping which nothing could stop for hours. I didn't think; I didn't move.

Then little by little, my ideas became clearer. Thoughts began to run rapidly in my mind. Egotism: how could my father do this, he who lacked nothing, who led so agreeable a life; who had us, both of us, alone to himself? So! We possessed no importance in his life? How could this person dare to take him from us; she knew, she ought to know, how much we loved him.

"I'll show her how I detest her!" I told Mlle. Héléne.

"My dear," she said, "you ought not to talk that way about your father's wife. It would cause him much pain if he heard you."

"Do you think—will he come back for Christmas?" I asked.

"Perhaps, my dear," said Mlle. Héléne, with a slight hesitation which I was quick to observe.

"Oh, say 'yes,' say 'yes'; he must come back for Christmas!" I insisted passionately. And poor Mlle. Héléne did not know what to say.

Meanwhile, Dmitri was reading a letter similar to mine in his own room. We saw each other, hours afterwards, through eyes swollen with weeping, and sought to speak with lips still trembling; only, at the first attempt, to burst out crying anew. The long, sorrowful days that followed left a lasting trace on my heart. It was my first real sorrow, the first wound that life dealt me.I devoted a great deal of time to composing a reply to my father’s letter, covering numberless sheets of paper, only to throw them away; nothing that I could write satisfied me. It was too sentimental, or too cold.

I must finally have decided on the sentimental version; for, although I don’t remember the text, I recall having been moved to tears in re-reading what I had written. Mlle. Héléne approved it, but reproached me for not having put in a kind word to my father’s wife. I refused to change anything in the letter. She preached to me a long time. Then, to give her satisfaction, at the bottom of the letter I added a sentence, obscure enough, which meant that I harbored no ill feeling against my stepmother. I remember having added these words in a different handwriting, even a little hesitant; and my father ought certainly to have perceived the difference.

"Education of a Princess" - Grand Duchess Marie Pavlovna Jr.

[dickinfectionbez]

Marc sat at the kitchen table, wringing his hands. Vale told Pecco everything about the couple getting back together and the boy seemed happy enough.

But when they were alone all Marc could feel was guilt. The heartbroken look on Pecco's face that day still burned behind his eyelids. He tore the innocence from his baby and now he sat across from an independent teenager. Marc looked at Pecco, studying the scar on his hand. When did he grow up so much? 'Obviously you missed out on a lot when you rejected him and refused to even be in the same room as him and his father' a voice whispered in Marc's mind.

Marc coughed, clearing his throat. "When did you get that?" He asked, nodding at Pecco's hand where a thin scar ran across his palm. Pecco outstretched his hand, resting it a few centimetres away from Marc's . "Bez and I were hiding from Franky and got caught on some wire." Marc nodded, not sure who Bez and Franky were. "Bez and Franky your friends?" He asked, taken aback when Pecco looked up at him with a mixture of anger, aggression and upset in his eyes.

"You don't have to pretend you know that Marc." Marc's heart panged at Pecco not calling him papa. When was the last time he called him papa? "I know you don't like me but you don't have to pretend. There are no cameras and I don't care." Marc wanted to scream and shout. He wanted to grab Pecco by the shoulders and shake him. He wanted to go back in time and never hurt his boy. But he stayed silent, watching Pecco huff. "I'm going out." He stated, standing up from his chair and walking to the door to put his shoes on. "I do care mi Cariño." Marc said, looking at the wall, his voice cracking. Pecco said nothing, instead slamming the door after himself.

Pecco marched to a secluded corner of the ranch, climbing into a hiding place he made years ago. It was a shallow tunnel he had dug out using a shovel he was gifted years ago. He had made a makeshift roof using an old IKEA bag that was cut to lay flat. His head hit the makeshift roof and his legs were cramped, knees tucked under his chest. Hot tears flowed down his face as he just sat there and cried. His dad would be back in a few days and then he'd be able to go visit his grandparents before he had to start training again.

He hid in his little hole for a few hours, watching the sunset. He planned to fall asleep in the hole but the rain started to beat down heavily, water flooding in. Pecco shivered but stayed in the hole until the roof collapsed under the weight of the rain, soaking him. He closed his eyes accepting that he was going to be wet and miserable.

The rain stopped, or so he had thought. Marc stood above him, out of breath and an umbrella in his arms. His face was blotchy and red. Pecco contemplated being stubborn and staying put, but the idea of lying down his warm bed was too tempting. He stood up, walking beside Marc who held the unbrella above Pecco, letting himself get wet. They got inside the house and Pecco marched into his room, stripping out of his wet clothes and into dry ones before climbing into bed.

Pecco woke up in the middle of the night in pain. His head pulsed and he felt as if he was burning up. He called out for his dad, for his uncle or anyone in desperation. Marc burst into his room, worry flooding his face as he saw Pecco lying there whining in pain. He rested his hand on his forehead, hissing as he felt the heat. Marc left the room, returning with a bowl of cold water, a face towel and some Vicks. "Papa?" Pecco questioned as Marc patted the cold towel on his forehead. Marc hummed, all his focus on his boy. Pecco fell asleep soon afterwards, Marc still sat on the edge of his bed not daring to sleep.

Pecco woke up the next day, his head still throbbing but feeling less feverish. Marc dipped the towel back inside the bowl, placing it back on his head. "How do you feel?" He asked, wiping some Vicks onto Pecco's chest, forehead and under his nose. "Shit." He answered, Marc chuckled. "If you weren't ill I'd have to lecture you on your language."

Marc brushed the curls out of his eyes. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I'm sorry about everything. I know you think I don't care but I do. I never stopped caring mi cariño. You're my son. You've always been my son, even when I was an asshole and told you weren't." Pecco let out a weak laugh, a few tears spilling out his eyes. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. I know you can't, but I ask for you to give me the opportunity. I've missed out on so much and don't want to miss anymore." Pecco nodded as Marc wiped the tears from Pecco's face and then wiped his own. He pulled his son into a hug, the pair crying together for a while, Pecco falling asleep in his arms as he used to as a baby.

Pecco woke up to his papa holding a tray of food and medicine.

[phoebepheebsphibs]

I will never actually write this because it was too sad (even for me and my angsty skills...)

A while ago, I came up with the idea to write a really sad fic about the turtles. Duh.

A goal with all my fics is to have a moment where I make the audience cry, or at the very least get emotional. And this was no exception. It’s a personal challenge for me, to see if I can get my audience truly invested. But, I also need my fics to have a PURPOSE. So, if I was gonna write a sad and angsty fic, I needed a way to bring it to a moral or happy ending, to show a reason why the characters went through what they did, rather than just have a story for story's sake. So, I went about coming up with a synopsis for a story that showed how to deal with grief and guilt and hopelessness. But after several months of writing and ideas, I realized that it simply wasn't working out. The story wasn't just sad or angsty, it was utterly depressing. The message of hope even after death wasn't pulling through... and in addition, I got worried that the massive amounts of despair in the story were going to be detrimental to my mental health, if not also for the readers. Thusly, I scrapped the plot.

So fair warning, the stuff you're about to read is very emotional and kinda dark...

Naw I ain’t playing, turn back now while you have the chance.

CW: LOTS. OF. DEATH. Major illness, disintegration, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, even a suicide attempt.

I was even in the process of making cover art for it (which I do for all my fics lol)

The fic literally starts out with a note from April (the narrator), explaining that she documented everything and warns the reader that this story does not have a happy ending. It takes place about a week after the invasion, and the family was having a rough time. Mikey's hands were absolutely scorched, Donnie's immune system was shot and he seemed to be getting ill, Raph was having constant panic attacks, and Leo wasn't getting better from his injuries. To top it all off, a new government branch was setting up camp in NYC and interrogating people about the events of the Krang attack. April had narrowly escaped but figured the Earth Protection Force would come back for her. Meanwhile, Leo’s injuries weren’t healing like they should have and he was getting worse… Eventually the family caved and asked for help from Agent Bishop and the EPF, but after some doctors and scientists took a look at Leo… they realized there was nothing anyone could do. They’d waited too long. Leo was not going to make it, and all they could do was make him comfortable for a few hours before he... yeah. So everyone said their goodbyes, and I actually have some snippets of dialogue written down and it makes me cry every time. Donnie had the worst reaction, upset by Leo's peace with the situation and devastated by his loss, believing that he never showed his appreciation and love for his twin as much as he should have. Leo attempts to comfort Donnie, but eventually tells him to "get over it". A few hours later, Leo dies in his sleep, and the room erupts into grief and panic and chaos until Donnie, in his pure anger, punches a hole through the heart monitor and leaves. Leo is given a viking send-off in the Hidden City, and afterwards, April asks what they are supposed to do now. Donnie angrily repeats Leo's last insight: get over it. April goes home, and after her parents ask her how her day was… she bursts into tears.

Several weeks later, Mikey tries to get Donnie and Raph to talk about their feelings, but they both refuse. Mikey himself is having issues, his hands not healing quickly and he wonders if he will ever be able to make a work of art again. He manages to get Donnie to admit his guilt of not being there for Leo and still holding anger and resentment towards his twin for sacrificing himself and dying. Mikey suggests that he speak with Raph, but Donatello refuses. Later, during an attack, Raph was knocked out and Donnie collapsed from his illness, which he had been hiding. Mikey realizes that it's left to him and uses his mystic powers to portal his brothers to safety, at the cost of his own life. Mikey comes to terms with this, believing that what he did was his mangum opus, and he feels no pain as he vanishes, greeted by Leo in the afterlife.

Donatello and Raphael mourn the loss of two brothers, and Donnie finally talks with Raph about his grief over Leo’s death (in honour of Dr. Feelings’ memory). However, his declining health is brought to light and Donnie is placed in quarantine. Casey Jr. identifies his illness as a common Krang disease, one his mother died of, and the group work overtime to create the cure. Raph stays with his last sibling and keeps him company. Donnie gets more and more sick, and one night while April and Casey are working with Agent Bishop to finalize the antidote, Donnie's fever worsens and he sleepwalks, hallucinating Mikey and Leo's return and them comforting Donnie and telling him that the others will be alright in his absence. Donnie senses that his time is almost up. Raph finds him but doesn't understand what Donnie is seeing or who he is talking to, and takes him back to bed. April and Casey finally finish the cure and rush home, hoping to make it back in time, but find Raph asleep by Donnie's bedside… Donnie having just succumbed to his illness a few hours prior.

Raph is left as the last one alive, dealing with extreme survivors' guilt for outliving his brothers and blames himself for their deaths. April tries to comfort him, Splinter, and Casey. (Casey notes that history seems to be repeating itself in reverse order— that while in the alternate timeline Raph died first and Leo last, the opposite has been happening here, and Casey fears that Raph might actually die somehow very soon.) Meanwhile, Raphael tries to atone for his guilt by overdoing the vigilante work on his own. Eventually he decides that it isn't enough, he can never atone, and he misses his brothers too much… so he writes a note to April and emails it to her, then goes to the Hidden City to pick a fight with Heinous Green... and let him win. April receives the email and she and the others rush to save Raph, who at this point has already found Heinous Green and is letting him beat the ever-loving life out of him. Halfway through, however, he realizes what he is doing and that his brothers would not want this for him, but it's too late... April and Casey find Raph near death and attempt to save him, but he goes unconscious from his injuries.

While April, Casey, Splinter and Draxum work to heal Raph's wounds and revive him, Raphael dreams of the afterlife, meeting up with his brothers and apologizing for everything. They comfort him, yet also explain that he has to wake up soon; and how April, Casey, and Splinter still need him. Raphael asks if he can stay, to which they promise that he will be okay without them and someday they will see each other again; that they aren’t mad at him for their deaths, but that he cannot speed up their meeting. Raph agrees to go home, to which they all say how proud they are of him. Raphael wakes up with his family around him, relieved that he survived. Later that night, he and April have a discussion where she scolds and berates him for trying to leave them, saying that she had no one left. He admits his actions and apologizes and promises to get better.

In an epilogue, April explains that it has been a full year since Raph’s injuries, and he is doing much better. The Hidden City made a memorial for the three lost brothers in honour of their sacrifices. Casey Jones Jr. has been doing better as well, though he will often have nights of panic and moments of grief that only Raph can get him through. Agent Bishop works with Raphael and Casey to keep the city safe from mutant attacks, and they work to create a new team, hinting to characters like Mona Lisa, Venus De Milo/Frida Kahlo, Leatherhead, and other characters from the comic series. April ends by stating that at the beginning, she said the story did not have a happy ending. She stands by this, stating that the story has not ended and will continue for as long as they live, and that she does her best to remember her friends and keep going on, not for their sake, but for her own. And that one day, she will see them again.

And as if THAT wasn't heart-wrenching enough, I also planned a short after-story of how something like 80 years later, The Hamato ghosts get ready to welcome Raph into the afterlife, showing Leo preparing a house for him and Mikey decorating and Donnie gardening.

So yeah this is the most depressing and heartbreaking thing I've ever written, and I ACTUALLY SPARED YOU FROM THE DIALOGUE I HAD WRITTEN TOO

[popblank]

Lempicka at the Longacre Theatre, Part 1:

This is a longwinded recap of my experience seeing the show and what I remember from it, with commentary (only a first part for now covering Act 1, because this post was getting way too long):

The original plan for my trip was to see The Who’s Tommy on Friday, Lempicka on Saturday (tickets pre-purchased), and then had a time slot open on Sunday where I was thinking about seeing another. But after the show I went back to my hotel room, stewed a bit, and ended up buying another ticket for the next day. Then on the way home I plotted how soon I could come back again, knowing the production wasn’t doing well in grosses and closing could be imminent. And then a few weeks later I took a red-eye across the country for the second time in a month to see the last three performances.  So it is fair to say I am Very Not Normal about this show and the post below reflects that.

It turned out that I first saw the Broadway production the weekend that Eden Espinosa was out sick, so at both of the initial shows I attended, Mariand Torres played Tamara. There were probably some fans who were disappointed that EE was out, but MT was very good in the role (especially vocally) and afterward I thought her take on Tamara was an interesting contrast to EE’s. In the Sunday 4/21 show, Ximone Rose played Rafaela, and I was also interested to see her version of Rafaela since she had played the role for the last two weeks in La Jolla but I had not seen her there. On that Sunday, at 1:30 the line to get into the theater for the 2 pm show had already turned the corner at Broadway, with no forward movement at all. Maybe 15 or 20 minutes later, I overheard someone who had walked from the direction of the box office saying that the two leads were out, which I assumed could only mean Eden Espinosa and Amber Iman. (It says something about the lopsidedness of the love triangle that this was the most reasonable assumption.)

Spoilers everywhere below the cut:

Walking in, the first thing the audience sees is an enormous backdrop of Autoportrait: Tamara in a Green Bugatti:

There is a bench and an easel on the stage, and to the right, a white arcing structure that was also present in La Jolla. Some of the musicians, including the conductor, were set up in the box seats on either side of the audience:

The overture starts with a nervous ticking beat that bursts into a propulsive electronic theme; the cast is revealed behind a transparent scrim, standing on the multilevel set and gazing steadily forward. This was one of my favorite moments in the show. It is not an overture that leisurely carries you through all of the themes and motifs, it’s just – here are the characters – here is the scenery – let’s GO. And then it’s only Tamara, sitting on the bench.

The show uses elderly Tamara de Lempicka reflecting on her life as the framing device (“Unseen”), though aside from the framing device the story is a mostly linear timeline.

From there, the story got off to a strange start for me. On the first viewing, it was very difficult to stop comparing and contrasting what I was seeing to what I remembered from the La Jolla production, and some of the material did not seem to pull me in as well as it had before, or just felt awkward. However, once Act 2 started that feeling pretty much disappeared, and on the second viewing I barely noticed. I wonder if something like this was what many of the critics experienced as well, except that they presumably only had time to see it once (as most of the audience would as well). So I think I understand some of the reviews, even if I disagree with them overall.

“Our Time” starts with a young Tamara and Tadeusz in St. Petersburg talking about their upcoming wedding. This song felt very, very expository, but it does a lot of work – it has to establish their personalities, situation, and relationship and then tears that world apart (or at least puts some serious cracks in it) by the end of the song. We see that Tamara is already so obsessed with painting that she is doing so on her wedding day, in her wedding dress (maybe a hint that she is comfortable with risk); we see that Tadeusz is very attached to his aristocratic inheritance and what he feels belongs to him (“this land, my family’s for centuries”) so that his support of the Tsar and later foray into Polish nationalism makes more sense. Another thing this song did reasonably effectively was to tell a story of Tamara and Tadeusz together as an actual couple who actually like each other, so that when Rafaela shows up later the first leg of the triangle has a little more solidity to it. Beth Leavel made her first appearance in this scene as Tamara’s mother and got entrance applause when she stepped in. When the song continues from the point of view of the Russian revolutionaries, the tone is much angrier and aggressively triumphant. After Tadeusz is hauled off to jail, Tamara bribes, cajoles, and finally offers her body to the revolutionary guards in order to free him. The last guard is played by George Abud, who will appear later as Marinetti.

Beth Leavel and George Abud both made brief appearances as seemingly minor characters from Tamara’s early life here, which I assume is intended to draw parallels to the roles their primary characters later play in Tamara’s life. Her mother (like the Baroness later) is the person who steadies her and keeps her moving forward on her path; the third guard is the person whose situational power pushes her into a terrible bargain and takes away her control. Marinetti ends up being her teacher and offers her a space she can control in terms of art, but also represents an artistic and ideological position that she is in an ongoing push-pull with throughout her life.

In some ways I preferred the La Jolla version of “Our Time” where the revolutionaries started out straightforwardly hopeful and over the course of the song moved to vengeful and threatening even as the language of the revolution remained the same. It reminded me of “At the End of the Day” from Les Misérables (incidentally, another show I can’t evaluate with objectivity) in depicting the setting and society, while the Broadway version was more narrative-driven and more focused on Tamara and Tadeusz, and the revolutionaries seemed more one-note and cartoonish. With the Broadway version I felt like I got a clearer and more concise understanding of the story at the expense of an interesting idea and a stronger emotional reaction to the song. Having this as the first plot-driving song also set a tone that didn’t quite work for me.

We follow the Lempickis on the night train to Paris surrounded by other refugees as they sing of “Starting Over” after their world has been upended – and only at the end do we get a little note of personal discord as Tadeusz wonders, “what did you do to get me out?” I really liked that bit – it is obvious foreshadowing (and continues in “Paris”) but is not signposted with neon lights, which is sometimes how “Our Time” felt.  I liked this song much better than the La Jolla version, where Tadeusz started in on the repeated questioning during the train ride and ended up seeming like an annoyance. Here he’s going on about some of his anger and resentment at his situation, but he and Tamara also have some moments of togetherness that made them seem like a couple who are very much in it together. There is the specific moment I mentioned in an earlier post, where they desperately cling to each other as they sing, “oh, and we’re free, a long dark night with you by my side”; hearing it in the theater, it was a brief & perfect expression of harmony while they are otherwise struggling with anxiety, fear, and uncertainty.

In “Paris” (“the ugliest beautiful city I’ve ever seen,” observes Tamara), once again a lot of things happen. In short, Tamara encounters Paris and sings about three things: work, women, and pastries, in that order. (In a way this could be an “I Want” song.) The work: the Lempickis manage to find an apartment but need to pay for rent, food, etc. Tadeusz is not particularly receptive to the idea of getting a job and his rumination takes a dark turn as he considers how Tamara could have gotten him out of prison when his influential father couldn’t; she deflects the question and in an ensuing argument he raises a hand to strike her but stops himself just short. Tamara goes out to look for work but her aristocratic life has not exactly given her marketable skills: “I’m… a very charming hostess!” Response: “We need cleaners, overnight shift.” Someone hands her a bucket. Bucket in hand, she sings about all of the women on the street showing their skin, which she rationalizes as being normal in a warmer climate (sure, Tamara). Though more seriously, she is seeing in them a freedom that she herself doesn’t have yet, so maybe that makes this more of an “I Need” song. On that note, she also sings about pastries, because she is surrounded by bakeries in Paris and has never been so hungry. Here I believe is where she sees a street artist painting at his easel. In a couple of the shows Eden Espinosa pulled a very funny “yikes” face before walking up to him and unthinkingly insulting his painting. So she decides to take up painting again after seeing that there is demand for it (even for an artist whose use of perspective is all wrong – I mean if that dude can sell a painting, why shouldn’t she?).

Then we get a funny little mid-song interlude with the madeleines. Tamara takes three madeleines out of a bakery box and arranges them on a plate in order to paint a still life. “Three madeleines,” she sings, then goes on and on about their lovely buttery goodness, leans in slowly to take a long, deep whiff of said buttery goodness – then abruptly crams one into her mouth with Cookie Monster levels of om nom nom. It is evidently very satisfying. Suddenly she looks at her now-disturbed still life, shrugs, and carefully rearranges the two remaining madeleines. “Two madeleines,” she sings, describing the elegant dusting of powdered sugar… then pauses to take a slow, deliberate lick of said sugar – then stuffs another one in her mouth. Next: “One madeleine –“ GULP and we are left with one very happy Tamara kicking her feet on the couch in delight, and an empty plate. But still needing something to paint, with a mouthful of madeleine she calls for Kizette (now a little more grown up) to pose for her. Part of the fun was that Eden Espinosa was clearly not actually eating all of the madeleines, though I don’t know if that was for performance reasons or for comic effect or both.

While showing her work on the street she meets the warmly supportive Baron and the skeptical Baroness, and he gives her a recommendation for Marinetti’s class at the Académie des Beaux-Arts. Later as she paints in the apartment, Tadeusz complains of the smell but Tamara dismisses it, saying they can’t afford a studio for her to paint in. Kizette agrees with her mother that oil paints smell good and Tamara seems pleased to have Kizette take her side, though when Kizette ropes her father into an impromptu dance Tamara looks on somewhat wistfully at his easy relationship with Kizette. When she finally sells a couple of her paintings (to the Baron), she starts to see a path and a future in this city where she now feels she belongs.

At this point there has been a whirlwind of setup so it is nice to settle down a bit for a late night at the art school. Marinetti drops in on Tamara and she gets a lesson on what a painting is (canvas, pigment, “Plan and Design,” among other things) and what it is not. The audience gets a glimpse at Tamara’s need for control. I really liked this scene a lot as a teaching scene, and as an introduction to both the artistic and musical themes that will get repeated later in the show. The way Tamara sings “…or a glittering sky…” as the music shifts from isolated notes punctuating Marinetti’s statements to flowing chords and strings, you really hear and feel that this new, big idea has finally clicked in her mind and she is opened up to a new way of thinking and a whole new reason to make art other than survival.

Rafaela makes her first appearance performing on the street (as indicated by a projected caption and a car prop) in “Don’t Bet Your Heart.” I didn’t care for the car; it’s a fitting symbol of the fast pace of technological progress and industry, but every car I’ve seen physically represented on a stage looks really static. I liked the song though – both Amber Iman and Ximone Rose did a great job, and of course Natalie Joy Johnson as Suzy Solidor is chaotic fun as she attempts to collect money from the audience in her uh, conquistador helmet (?). Here though was another example of neon-signposting: when Tamara shows up in the middle of the song, she runs in squarely in the center of the stage on the middle platform just behind the action, her jaw drops and suddenly everything is in slow motion for just a moment when she catches her first glimpse of Rafaela and asks, “Who - is - she?” It draws attention to an important point that the audience might have missed otherwise (because everyone is looking at Rafaela), but it still felt a little jarring that Tamara appears and takes so much focus, even if she quickly fades into the background again as she stares at Rafaela and gets jostled by the raucous crowd.

Everyone runs off at the sound of a police siren, but Tamara’s mind has been blown and she vows to herself “I Will Paint Her.” Mariand Torres killed on this song both nights, and on the second night her singing in the final lines gave me chills up and down my spine. Then in a later show I saw Eden Espinosa perform it and acted it with such depth of feeling that I thought, “wait… is this my favorite song in the show now?” even without the sheer vocal fireworks. (I feel extremely lucky to have been able to see both of them play Tamara.) In both cases it felt like there was a bit more emphasis on the whole “Tamara has totally fallen for Rafaela but doesn’t realize that’s what has happened” premise of the song, and the Broadway audience definitely got the humor where the La Jolla audience didn’t seem to; perhaps it was played straighter there, so to speak. There was a huge audience response to this song.

So now it is time for the first group art show that Tamara is a part of, and the verbal descriptions of her paintings are pretty funny, especially the one of Kizette (Tadeusz: “a demon child”; Marinetti: “strange little girl”; Suzy: “that little girl is PISSED!”). We get our first direct introduction to Suzy while she serves drinks to the art show guests and makes very, very broad double entendres. (If the Monocle show I briefly dropped in on at The Friki Tiki is an accurate indication, NJJ is playing a not-very-exaggerated version of herself.) Marinetti shows up and is his usual abrasive and cynical self, and when the Baroness questions him about the role of art in shaping society (for the worse) it starts a bit of an argument which is the lead-in to “Perfection.” Tadeusz wants to leave but when Marinetti says, “Beauty is an engine – beauty is power” you can see Tamara’s antennae going up and she waves Tadeusz off, saying she’ll be home soon.

Halfway through the song, Rafaela shows up and Tamara leaps to ask her to model, offering her a chance at immortality such that people in the future will ask,”Who - is - she?”

George Abud is such a fun presence in the show and “Perfection” is still (maybe?) my favorite song; it was as entertaining and alarming in person as it had been listening to the 2022 track on repeat for the past two years. However it was also here where the costumes and choreography were particularly confusing. Dance is not really my thing so there is probably a vocabulary of movement that I am not getting, but there were several dance moves that to me looked like weakly punching the air and making airplane arms while stepping to the beat, and I thought, “wait are they trying to represent machines? Like pistons and engines and actual airplanes?” I honestly do not understand what the intended effect was; I was not getting a story of speed or power or a glorious technological future from it but I am curious how others saw this. Costumes were a little distracting but I can talk myself into thinking that this is a world where the avant-garde is made visible and present everywhere and people just put on their costumes of daily life over it. (Though I do think it would have been easier to process the show overall if the ensemble costumes were a bit more period-representative.)

After all that, “Wake Up” sung by Tadeusz is a big contrast. Marinetti is at a point where he wants to wrest control of the future and turn it toward his purposes with an army of sleek backing dancers in corsets and leather bustiers, meanwhile Tadeusz is only just now dragging himself out of passivity and possibly depression to put on a very traditional three-piece suit and go apply for a job at a bank. I suppose one can’t expect that everyone’s going to be like Tamara, belting through adversity and charging forward on a path of artistic and emotional discovery. I do actually like this song because it tells me more about Tadeusz than I knew before and provides some character growth; the song helps give him an arc in the show where I don’t recall there was much of one before. In terms of pacing, it is breather after several high-energy songs in a row.

In an amusing montage, Tamara stalks the Dead Rat for days on end trying to find Rafaela, only for Suzy to break the news each time (in typically comic fashion) that Rafaela is not there. It turns out that the show’s conductor is also the piano player at the Dead Rat, because sometime before this scene, she moved out of the box seat and down to the stage. What I found neat was that the video monitor camera either went with her or switched views so that she could still conduct while on stage.

Tamara gives up pestering Suzy for a bit to go paint, with Kizette modeling. In “Mama Look at Me,” Kizette quietly begs her mother to actually see her, but as usual Tamara is absorbed in her work and keeps viewing her daughter in terms of the parts of the image she is creating. Giving up after one last “Mama…”, Kizette eventually changes tack and asks why Tamara has told people Kizette was born in Warsaw (rather than Petrograd). Tamara explains the microaggression toward Jews that drove her answer (a modern variant might be “where are you really from?”) and provides a capsule history of the independent Polish state complete with morphing background projections, which I found clunkily expository the first time I saw it but appreciated more in subsequent viewings since I am sadly not nerdy enough about European history.  It also sets up some of the background of Tadeusz claiming his Polish identity, which will lead to conflict later. Tamara further explains her tactic of deflection where she deliberately makes people focus on the thing she wants them to see. (Come to think of it, the show itself has done this a few times.)

There is a fun scene transition where Rafaela shows up and Suzy calls out “she’s here!” from across the stage to Tamara while she’s still in the studio with Kizette, and Tamara being Tamara she promptly ditches her adoring, needy daughter to go meet Rafaela at the Dead Rat.

Tamara and Rafaela drink and converse and find common ground and gradually the conversation turns to more personal topics, as Tamara alludes to the story of the third guard. Seeing some kinship in Tamara’s vulnerability, Rafaela offers Tamara opium to help her relax, and asks the musicians for “Bracelet, in A.” As Rafaela sings “The Most Beautiful Bracelet” (basically directly to Tamara, even as she’s feeling up the other patrons of the bar), Tamara is staring back at her with naked longing.

(Note: I did miss the song “Stillness” from previous productions and the buildup it provided for the relationship between Tamara and Rafaela, but understand why it would be removed since it did kind of kill momentum. This version works even with the seduction happening sooner.)

After the song, Tamara is tongue-tied and loopy. In this state of confusion she again falls back on the language of art to express her attraction by professing a fascination with Rafaela’s lipstick color, which leads to a kiss, which leads to Tamara bringing Rafaela back to her studio where, to the sound of a sweeping romantic instrumental, they start removing their clothing (Tamara appears to be briefly awestruck when Rafaela is standing before her in only a slip) and climb into the bed with Tamara sitting atop Rafaela.

I must talk about this lighting effect now (but bear in mind I know exactly nothing about stage lighting). For most of the love scene it is dimly lit, evoking nighttime with some sort of limited external light such as street lights, or perhaps a full moon through a window. Onstage there is a row of smallish circular bluish-white lights running the length of the top of the stage which start out pointing downward toward the stage. As Tamara moves her body against Rafaela and slowly extends her arm upward in an expression of passion, the row of lights rotates upward to point toward the audience. As they rotate it appears they are getting brighter (or maybe it is just due to the lights shining more directly at the audience) and the light becomes blinding as Tamara reaches (a very strongly implied) orgasm. At the same time, the lighting below dims, the music diminishes, and Tamara, Rafaela, and everything on stage fade from visibility into a nearly opaque wall of cloudy blue. It was very cool to look at and I don’t think I am doing it justice with my description.

Later I was thinking about how that might work; when the audience comes in at the beginning of the show, I did notice this fog-effect going on at the top of the stage:

So I wonder if they can maybe crank that fog machine (or whatever) up and let the vapor diffuse throughout the stage area for this scene, then when the time comes they can hit the area with lights such the light scatters in a particular spectrum, or maybe they can just use colored filters, I don’t know. But then how do you ensure that the wall of haze is uniform and stays where it needs to be? Anyway, maybe a lighting designer has explained it somewhere on the internet.

It’s still nighttime, and Tamara wakes and exits the room to gather her thoughts, when unexpectedly a slightly drunk, apologetic Tadeusz shows up to give her flowers. Wracked with guilt over how she has betrayed their relationship, Tamara goes back into her studio intending to end the liaison right then. But when she sees the sleeping Rafaela illuminated by a gentle light, she forgets everything else as she launches into “Woman Is.” And who can blame her? There is a very cool visual sequence during the song when Tamara sings “I want to feel your soft lips, your sharp teeth” etc. and piece by piece the lighted edges of the set behind her start to come alive (partly visible in this video from Production Stage Manager Cody Renard Richard).

Finally the song ends, the curtain falls and when the lights go up we see the imposing image of “La Belle Rafaela” throughout intermission.

(Part 2 coming soon-ish)

[mephinomaly]

[TL] The Occasional Family TLC

Summary: Ritsu wants some attention, and Kaoru suggests he pays his brother a visit. Reluctantly, he does under the guise of passing along a message from Kaoru.

Character(s): Ritsu, Kaoru, Rei

Season: Winter

Location: Café Cinnamon

Ritsu: Yaawnnn, hng… so tired.

(The only time all of Knights were available was early in the morning so I had to get up early…)

(Everyone but me had somewhere to be afterwards, leaving me on my own. They’re all heartless.)

(I have plans in the afternoon so if I go back to sleep, I probably won’t wake back up again…)

But I’m soooo tired. Haa~...Maa-kun, help mee~

-that's what I texted him but he didn’t reply…? Oh yeah, didn’t he say he was busy with a photoshoot all day?

Even though I need to be cared for right now? Maa-kun’s a cheater~

…Maybe I’ll give up and go back to sleep.

Kaoru: I was wondering who was grumbling. What are you doing here, Ritsu-kun?

Ritsu: Ah, Kaoru-san. Finally, someone’s come to look after me~♪

Kaoru: Come to look after you…? Sorry but I’m not your guy.

I have somewhere to be after this so once I’ve finished my coffee, I need to head off.

Ritsu: Ehh~, don’t say things like that and just pay more attention to meee Kaoru-san~

Spoil me more. Spoil me like you’ve never spoiled someone before~...

Kaoru: You’re more needy than usual and you’re really begging, huh. What’s up?

Ritsu: I actually got up early yet no one congratulated me for it?

Now I’m struggling not to fall back asleep. I’ve been betrayed. I’m still waiting for my praise.

Kaoru: What an adorable reason~.

Then I’ll give you what you need. Good boy, well done on waking up early~♪

Ritsu: Nn~, that’s the stuff ♪ That’s the sort of praise I want. It would be so good if Kaoru-san was my brother…

Kaoru: I’m pretty sure Rei-kun would praise you too for working so hard.

Ritsu: Um, who is “Rei”? I’ve never heard of that person before. My onii-chan’s name is Kaoru.

Kaoru: Don’t joke around like that, okay? If Rei-kun heard, he'd burst into tears.

Ritsu: Yeah I know. But If I texted anija about it, it would create an even bigger problem.

He’d flood my inbox like he’s commenting on a video.

Kaoru: Probably. But considering it’s Rei-kun, he’d probably call you.

Ritsu: Yeah and I’d block him if he did. He’s not my brother but I’m still scared.

Kaoru: Haha…Well, Rei-kun’s used to being ignored. But I thought your relationship was on the mend after what happened during Operetta.

Ritsu: It’ll be embarrassing if I let him get too comfortable.

Anyway, Kaoru-san’s used to me acting like this anyway…

Kaoru: Yeah I guess but you should show Rei-kun some affection every once in a while.

He’s trying his best, so wouldn’t it be good to reward him for that?

Ritsu: ...

Kaoru: I’ve got it. Do you think you could pass on a message for me?

Ritsu: Ehh~. Isn’t that what HoldHands is for?

Kaoru: That doesn’t matter. And I think Rei-kun would much rather hear it from his cute younger brother ♪

Ritsu: I’m not a bootlicker. How troublesome~...

Kaoru: Please. If you have enough time to take a nap here, you can surely deliver a message for me?

Ritsu: ...Sigh, fine. I’ll sleep wherever I am, just so you know…

Kaoru: Thank you Ritsu-kun ♪

Well, I’ve got to go in a few moments.

I didn’t see Rei-kun when I went to the office earlier, so he’s probably sleeping at the dorms. It’s still early after all.

Ritsu: Okay. What am I telling him?

Location: Rei, Eichi, and Aira's dorm room

Rei: Well I never. To think the first thing I’d see when I awake would be sweet Ritsu ♪ If the day ended right now, I’d be happy.

Come hither, my lovely cute angel~! Come rest upon my lap~♪

Ritsu: No, I'm okay. More importantly, are your roommates not in?

Rei: Mhm. Tenshouin-kun and Shiratori-kun both did not return to the dorms last night. Now you can spoil me to your heart’s content~.

Ritsu: Ah, lucky me.

Rei: Say something more! If you act so uninterested you’ll hurt my feelings~

Ritsu: You’re annoying as usual. Just so you know, I’m not planning on staying long.

I’m just here to deliver a message from Kaoru-san.

Rei: Kaoru-kun? Has there been a change of plan?

Ritsu: You have a meeting about some program you’ll be in tonight, right? The meeting place has changed. Kaoru-san will tell you where later.

Rei: Ah, I see. Thank you for telling me. Then Ritsu, come here.

I must praise you for being a good, good boy for me ♪

Ritsu: How many times do I have to tell you to stop with the “good boy”? Are you so old your ears have started to rot?

Jesus, I didn’t even do much. Besides, Kaoru-san’s already given me all the TLC I need.

Rei: Fumu. I’m a little confused as to why Kaoru-kun sent you to tell me.

Surely there’s something more to it? It’s unlike you to come all this way just for that.

Ritsu: ...

Rei: You’re always welcome to come talk to me, cute Ritsu. Never hesitate to come and find your oniichan ♪

Ritsu: …Uhuh. You’re reading too much into things. I just came to deliver a message for him.

Rei: Well that doesn’t seem to be true. To go out of your way for one singular message is not very Ritsu of you.

Ritsu: You’re beyond saving, you senile old man. Can’t you just accept that that’s all there is to it?

Rei: Umu. If you insist, I suppose I’m misunderstanding.

Ritsu: …Well, even if there was another reason… which there isn’t, by the way.

That reason would be that it’s early in the morning and I was sent to deliver a message that totally could have been sent via Holdhands.

Rei: Huh…? Sorry…? W-what do you mean?

Ritsu: My loser brother’s complimentary service has run out~.

Yaawn, mm… this sucks. I can’t stop yawning so I’m going back to my room for a nap. Bye~.

Rei: ...Service?

So… could it be true that…Ritsu came to see me for the sake of…seeing me…!?

W-wait, my sweet Ritsu. If you want to take a nap you can here! We can share a bed!

I’m begging you! Let me love you with all my body, Ritsuu!

[lisbeth-kk]

May 12 prompt: blue. (Thanks for the tag @notjustamum @calaisreno

Bluebell

When Rosie Watson was old enough to decide which clothes to buy or wear, she always chose Sherlock’s favourite colour. Not that she knew it, but she was somehow drawn to it, nevertheless. Dresses, jumpers, t-shirts, trousers, skirts, jackets, even socks gifted in the wrong colour had to be brought back to the shop and changed. She could go along with the other colours if there were bees on the fabric, which Molly tried her best to find as to brighten up the little girl’s wardrobe.

Sherlock loved to see all the different shades of blue on his little girl. It made her eyes look even more blue than they originally were. He also liked to see his John in blue. John and Rosie’s eyes were so similar, although Rosie’s were a tiny bit lighter than John’s. 

Sherlock never stopped using his chosen pet name on Rosie. John had prepared him that once she started school, or at least in her teens, she would oppose him to use the pet name further. To John’s astonishment and Sherlock’s relief, it never happened. Rosie loved that her Papa called her Bluebell and occasionally Bee, but mostly it was the former.

***

John feared for Sherlock’s sanity when Rosie told them she was going abroad for her studies. He was careful not to show his distress to Rosie herself, but whenever he and John were alone at Baker Street in those days, he suffered terribly.

“What if she never comes back to England, John. Sydney’s so far away. She’s going to forget us, isn’t she? I don’t want her to go, John! I know I’m being foolish, but to not have her here regularly is an unbearable thought. She…”

“Shush now, my love,” John had murmured, holding Sherlock tight while stroking his hair. “I know it’s hard for you. It is for me too, but we have to let her go. Let her form her own life. We can’t keep her locked up here forever. And of course she won’t forget us, silly. We’re her parents, and you know she loves us. She shows us that every day, doesn’t she?”

“I know, John. I know, but it’s so hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. Well…almost.”

Sherlock had buried his face in John’s neck and cried. It was a rare occurrence that Sherlock broke down like this, and John had a hard time preventing his own tears from welling over. He held his husband, soothed him, murmuring sweet words and reassurances in his ear, and finally Sherlock had gathered himself. His eyes were red rimmed, and John kissed away the tears on his cheeks.

“We’ll go visit her, you know,” John said, and Sherlock nodded.

“Of course. If she…”

“Sherlock, please. She’ll want us to come visit. You know that.”

“Yes, John. It’s just…when it comes to the two of you. The thought of losing…”

“I know, sweetheart. We feel the same way. That’s what undying love does to you,” John said and kissed Sherlock tenderly.

***

As Rosie’s departure came closer, Sherlock had been less fragile. When there wasn’t a case or experiment to devote his time to, he read all about Rosie’s university, and the city itself. Afterwards he knew more about the subject than Rosie herself, which surprised no one.

“It looks really promising, Bluebell,” Sherlock stated over dinner a few weeks before Rosie’s exodus, as Sherlock called it. “You’ll like it there, I think.”

“I’m sure I will, Papa. Sylvia knows a couple of students there, and they’re over the moon,” Rosie retorted and extended a hand to squeeze Sherlock’s hand.

John had to blink hard and bite his inner cheek not to burst into tears when he saw their daughter soothing Sherlock. She was so aware of his emotions. A Watson thing, John thought to himself and smiled at his beloved husband who cocked an eye brow at him, silently asking, “you alright?” John just nudged his foot reassuring him, and Sherlock went back to the conversation with his Bluebell.

***

A serious amount of tears were spilled at Heathrow airport when Rosie clung to her parents, suddenly realising that she wouldn’t be able to hug them for months. John was a mess to, and it was in situations like these, Sherlock found his aptitude to be strong for all of them. He murmured soothing words to them both, wrapping them up in his arms, letting them cry, while he kissed them tenderly.

“Be in touch as often as you see fit, Bee,” Sherlock said softly while cradling Rosie’s face. “I won’t hesitate to call in a favour from uncle Myc if necessary.”

Rosie beamed up at her Papa with blurry eyes and smiled, then giggled as she pictured her uncle receiving said call.

After one last group hug, Rosie walked away from them to her future. John grabbed Sherlock’s hand tight and when Rosie had disappeared in the crowd, Sherlock pulled a shaky John to his chest and kissed the top of his head.

“She’ll be fine, John. She’s a Watson, after all.”

“A Holmes Watson in fact,” John said, lifted his head and kissed Sherlock’s lips.

@totallysilvergirl @missdeliadili @meetinginsamarra @topsyturvy-turtely @raina-at