#and feels kind of like i'm going backwards in life rather than just standing still like i have been for about 10 years now so....

[crucialplayer]

Thoughts on Mars placements 

!! everything is based purely on my experiences with signs, written with no other purpose than to share my observations and be unserious.

Aries mars. Practical jokes lovers, gentle touch haters. Hit u while laughing. Love the banter, sometimes a lil too much. Go for it (whatever it is) fiercely and without a single backthought. Explosive in conflict, but in a sense of crying screaming throwing up banging against the wall. 

Taurus mars. Life could be on Mars but they still be going on and on about that one thing. Sudden outbursts of anger. It might seem out of the blue but they’ve probably been brooding some hurt for a long time. They just hoped it’d go away… naturally. Also surprisingly horny. 

Gemini mars. Mind fuckers. That one guy defending polygamy «as a concept» rather too enthusiastically. Can talk their way out of hell with one leg already in the hottest boiling cauldron. I suppose it’s a placement most people will find charming at some point (says a lot about society…). 

Cancer mars. Rumors are true, the sky is blue, and they are manipulative. Watching anybody else display vulnerability is the same as watching a children’s play to them. Ur rawest and most disturbing moment? To a cancer mars its a chill Tuesday morning. Humanization of a silent treatment. 

Leo mars. You’d gather that its serious by the sheer scale of their reaction but I promise its not. 9 times out of 10 will cause a huge scene and won't be able to remember it 2 days after. Very defensive. Won't put themselves out there if they’re not guaranteed a 10-minute standing ovation. 

Virgo mars. They believe that they make sense but usually they don't. They’re calculating but it’s like they do it backwards resulting in some of the most unhinged decisions made. Want to be praised for… um… existing as they are. Kind of a menace in conflict. 

Libra mars. If u think it's hard for you to wait for them to make up their mind imagine how they feel. It’s similar to watching a plant move without a time-lapse. Cry when they’re angry. Go with the flow not because they’re chill but more cause it's easier for them. 

Scorpio mars. They ARE vengeance and I'm scared. Slash 3 tires after one fight mars. Not the person you’d try to make jokingly jealous. For further information read the lyrics to… really any Taylor Swift song. 

Sagittarius mars. Don't think before they do and think after they’ve done smth only if u make them. The kind of people that will try everything once just to know how it feels (and then present that to everyone as if they’ve found god by bungee jumping one time). Very easy to dare. Also are always checking someone out. 

Capricorn mars. Blood is cold, the heart is beating twice per minute. ISN’T IT lonely on top of the world fellas??? If u get them to like u your love language better not be words of affirmation. Instead of arguing chances are high they disappear for a while or just go into a rock regime. 

Aquarius mars. Are only attracted to intellectuals so naturally in a room full of sweet gentle people will go for the most narcissistic motherfucker out there. They’re sorta very patient but I feel maybe it's just them dissociating… Ponder a lot before making a move. 

Pisces mars. I'm afraid no one knows whats going on there. It's like they’re never actually present. Therefore often times can have a delayed reaction to smth, which people might read as passive aggression. Very sentimental, will write u a song or a poem on a second date. Also low LOW energy. 

[in-g-major]

ATLA Unpacked: Kataang is Reactive, not Constructive (Part 2)

(Part 1) Still no Kataang in sight (B1:E11 - B1:E13) As of B1:E10, we've been given no text or subtext which demonstrates Aang and Katara having a romantic bond. Beyond that, all of the romantic subtext involving Katara has been with three boys other than Aang, and Aang is completely uninvolved in all three dynamics. With this in mind, we can dismiss the argument that Kataang was an integral part of the show from the beginning. This will continue for another few episodes, until we come to our first instance of bringing romance into Aang and Katara's relationship The Fortuneteller (B1:E14): Strike One This is our first Kataang episode, and it doesn't put us off to a good start. What seems like a fairly innocuous episode about young love has some serious problems in terms of romantic agency and sexist double standards. So we establish Aang as now developing a crush on Katara with another shot of her from his POV.

(Oh hey, Aang made Katara a necklace! It disappears later in the episode because it wasn't really important to anyone involved) Now this does make sense in terms of Aang's perspective. Aang is young and this is probably the first time he's had these kinds of feelings for anyone. He already has a rather idealized view of Katara as established in B1:E1. However, in the context of how Katara has previously been depicted in her interactions with Zuko, Haru, and Jet, how she's depicted in this shot is a step backwards. Those interactions gave her agency and depicted her as the wonderfully well-rounded character she normally is. Here, by contrast, we're seeing Katara an an ideal, not as a person. One image alone can't fully explain what I'm getting at, so let's proceed through the remainder of the episode. Once we get Aang's new perspective on Katara, something immediately presents itself as an obstacle: Katara simply doesn't see Aang the same way.

Sokka: Smoochie, smoochie, someone's in love! Katara: Stop teasing him, Sokka! Aang's just a good friend. A sweet little guy. Just like Momo. Aang: Thanks. Putting my own personal annoyance with this trope aside, it creates a serious disconnect which hinders communication between Aang and Katara. With this disconnect, the problem of Katara seeming less like a character in the context of her relationship with Aang only grows. Already we're only seeing Aang's side of this anyway. After some shenanigans involving a stranger in the woods who tells our young heroes of a fortuneteller named Aunt Wu, they go and see this fortuneteller. The one most excited about seeing Aunt Wu is Katara, which could have been the setup for a story about a character flaw we've already seen from Katara: she doesn't have much confidence in herself. - In B1:E6, Haru encourages her to take credit for helping him and his fellow earthbending prisoners stand up for themselves after she downplays her role in the prison break. - In B1:E9 she's insecure about her lack of waterbending skill to the point of getting quickly upset when Aang learns techniques faster than she does. - In B1:E10 she's easily wooed by Jet's charisma to the point where she becomes naive about any possibility that he's not what she thinks. Despite not being fully honest with her, Jet does encourage her to have faith in herself, which she later uses to turn against him. What made those episodes with Katara and the dark-haired boys in her life compelling was seeing Katara overcome various challenges and develop in her journey of becoming a remarkable young woman. Before we come to how "The Fortuneteller" backtracks on Katara's character arc so far, we experience something extremely revealing about this episode's contradictory approach to Aang's one-sided crush.

Everyone, say hello to Meng! She's Aunt Wu's assistant, and her only purpose in this episode is demonstrating that someone in the writers' room realizes what's wrong with the Kataang dynamic but can't stop the powers-that-be from going ahead with it anyway. There's a term I haven't used yet but is extremely relevant to both this scene and the POV shot of Katara: the male gaze. Put simply, the male gaze describes how women and girls are often depicted in stories written from a male point-of-view. Since ATLA fits the category of an action/adventure fantasy aimed primarily at boys aged 12-16, written and directed mostly by men, we can easily apply the male gaze as an analytical tool here. So from Aang's POV, we get an extremely idealized view of Katara rather than the more complex reality of her as a person. From Meng's POV, we get what's framed as an idealized view of Aang, but what we see is far closer to who he actually is. The double standard is extremely telling, and more than a bit concerning given how the episode ultimately turns out. Moving on, the first member of the Gaang who gets their fortune from Aunt Wu is Katara, and it establishes a pattern for the remainder of the episode. Katara becomes dependent on Aunt Wu's predictions, even going as far as asking whether she should have mango or papaya for breakfast.

(Mango >>> Papaya) Having Katara be this gullible isn't automatically a bad thing. Again, the show has already established that she struggles with confidence in herself. Had the episode gone in the direction of having her realize this flaw and work to overcome it, it would have been far better. Let's head over to our young airbender for a bit.

The prediction Aang gets from Aunt Wu mentions nothing about love. Seeing Aang's reaction to this, Aunt Wu concocts a platitude to help him feel better. Once again we get a double standard: compare what Aunt Wu tells Aang to what she tells Katara. Aunt Wu (to Aang): Well, look! I must've missed something. Right here. It says "trust your heart and you will be with the one you love." Aunt Wu (to Katara): I feel a great romance for you. The man you are going to marry. I can see that he's a very powerful bender. Aang is given a message that encourages him to be proactive in finding the one he loves. Katara is told whom she will fall in love with, and simply accepts it. This double standard is only reinforced when our heroes save Aunt Wu's village from being burned down by a volcanic eruption after Aunt Wu incorrectly predicted that the volcano would not threaten the village.

Aang: You didn't really see love in my fortune, did you? You just told me what I wanted to hear. Aunt Wu: I'll tell you a little secret, young airbender. Just as you reshaped those clouds, you have the power to shape your own destiny. For all the many problems with "The Fortuneteller," I do find Aunt Wu extremely relatable. Besides my own experiences in customer service, I've befriended two middle-aged Asian American small business owning women in my life. Now I can't watch this episode without thinking of them. Her being voiced by Tsai Chin, a veteran actress with an incredible career, is a huge bonus. So, what revelation does Katara come away with after this awe-inspiring experience?

Sokka: Man, sometimes I forget what a powerful bender that kid is.  Katara: (surprised) Wait, what did you just say? Sokka: Nothing, just that Aang is one powerful bender. Katara: ...I suppose he is. Not only is Katara much more confused than enthused by the prospect of Aang being the one Aunt Wu predicted, both in the way she's drawn and in Mae Whitman's delivery, but we're ending this story with no indication of how she feels about Aang other than him being a friend and "sweet little guy." She had an obvious crush on Jet, who was quite a different type both physically and in personality. Nothing we've seen from Katara so far indicates a mutual attraction to Aang, which ultimately makes her nothing more than a "prize" in Aang's "quest" to win her over. If you think later Kataang focused episodes rectify this, I have some very bad news. What's especially frustrating is "The Fortuneteller" could have been an easy setup for Katara learning more about what kind of boys she's into and seeing Aang more in a romantic light over the course of the episode. Them actually interacting and becoming more aware of each other's feelings would have kept Kataang from being completely insufferable and sending a pretty lousy message to its young viewers. Piling on the insult to the injury is that there is a truly good message within "The Fortuneteller" which is ultimately ignored. Until now I haven't commented much on Meng's cute but ultimately shallow crush on Aang because all that's worth addressing is how it's established and how it's resolved.

Meng: You don't like me, do you? Aang: Of course I like you. Meng: But not the way I like you. Aang: Oh, I guess not. Meng: It's okay. It's just really hard when you like someone, but they don't think of you that way. Aang: I know what you mean. Meng: She's beautiful, by the way... that Water Tribe girl. I can see why you like her so much. She's sweet, she's a bender, and her hair seems so manageable. Aang: Don't worry. You're going to meet a great guy who's going to completely fall for you. I know it. Now this is good! It brings up what having a one-sided attraction feels like and gives a positive example of resolving it. There's no vindictiveness, or jealousy, just Aang being as reassuring as he can. It's not just a good message for ATLA's target audience, it's something relevant to people in later stages of life too. This could have also been a great setup for Aang realizing later on that the advice he gives Meng here is just as relevant to his relationship with Katara. Alas... In conclusion, "The Fortuneteller" sucks. I didn't even get into the most misogynistic moment in the episode, which is the underage slut shaming from Meng that destroys her wonderful moment with Aang earlier. Ultimately it's a symptom of the lousy romance tropes which plague this entire episode and undercut what could have been a good story. Easy fix: have this be an episode where Aang and Katara discover feelings about each other they didn't anticipate. They're given conflicting advice on their romantic prospects by Aunt Wu, and they help each other resolve their respective dilemmas. Aang helps Katara become more independent and not simply depend on everything Aunt Wu tells her. Katara helps Aang not be so anxious about deciding his future and instead allow things to happen more "naturally." By the end they begin seeing something "more" between them, and it teases the possible beginning of a love story. As it stands, B1:E14 contradicts Katara's established characterization, ignores her romantic agency, and sets a very bad precedent for how Kataang will be handled going forward. Fortunately, Kataang is no longer relevant to the remainder of Book 1, so next time we'll skip right ahead to Book 2. Get ready, because this is where the story puts Kataang through a stress test it's absolutely not prepared for. Related Meta & Additional Reading - Romantic subtext in "The Fortuneteller" by marsreds

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Chapter 8.5 - Harry's POV

Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she hates how everyone thinks Harry is. Because she knows that's not the case.

Chapter Summary: Harry is about to leave England, taking his feelings and worries with him. Maybe time away will settle them, and he can go back to London with a clear idea of what he wants- except, he already knows what that is.

Chapter warnings: Some explicit language, actual quotes from a real interview

[ present - Sept 2020 ]

"I really hope we get to see you at Christmas."

Harry's not sure why, but those words sadden him, as he watches Cassidy and Cecelia drive away. He wishes it wasn't such a horrible situation that brought them over to stay at his place, because the past couple of weeks have been heaven for him, and despite advocating for kindness to be spread around the world, Derek can rot in hell for all he cares.

"Hello? You there?" He hears through the speaker of his phone, sighing as he's taken out of his thoughts and back to reality.

"Yeah, mate. Sorry, just saying bye to some friends."

"Harry. I know who your 'friends' are… I know Cassidy and Cecelia were there."

"Right. Sorry." He utters, still standing by his front door and slowly turning around to push it back open. To reenter a now empty house. He wasn't joking when he told Cassidy it would definitely be quieter with them gone, but he also wasn't joking when he said he liked the noise, and the mess. He liked them being there.

"You alright?" Jeff asks, sounding sincerely concerned.

"I'm fine." Harry replies, doing his best to sound chipper, rather than pathetically pouty about being alone. Specifically, being without them.

"Nice try. Did something happen?"

"No. I mean, yes. Sort of. But…" He sighs again, running his hand through his hair in an attempt to calm his racing thoughts. "It's complicated."

"Hold on." His friend states, Harry only hearing muffled noises and mumbles on the other end.

"Alright. What's going on?" Another voice asks.

"Bloody-... why did-..." He grumbles, though not sure if he is truly that frustrated. "Hi, Glenne."

"Yeah, hi. What's going on?"

•••

An open suitcase lays across his bed, void of any article of clothing, or necessities he'll have to bring for his trip. Well, two trips, technically. Nothing has been packed yet, since all he's been doing is sitting beside his luggage and unpacking the events of the past weeks with Glenne listening intently on the other end.

"She kissed you, Harry. That means something."

"But she didn't say anything about it this morning."

"Well, to be fair, neither did you…"

He falls backwards, letting his body descend onto the bed. She's right. He could have brought it up. But it was Cassidy that made the first move, and despite the fact that he kissed her back, feeling the best sense of euphoria as their lips touched, he would feel humiliated if he admitted his feelings before knowing if they were reciprocated.

Considering how much of a struggle it had been for him in the past to even be allowed in her life as a friend, he feels validated in being hesitant.

"I've been down that road, G. It got me nowhere."

"Not true." She responds, causing a deep furrow to appear between his brows, despite her inability to see it. "It got you where you are right now."

"I don't-" He pauses, attempting to find the right words to say to truly express the predicament he feels he is in. "I don't want to bring it up and make things awkward, then lose our friendship. And her. Again."

The lack of sound on the other end of the line causes a worry to grow inside his chest. Not because he thinks she didn't hear him, or the call dropped, but because he feels as if she now has nothing to say. She has no advice to give him, because everything is so complicated. Too complicated for her to solve or even provide any sort of help.

"Well, shit." She utters, and Harry's suspicions are immediately confirmed.

"Yeah." He replies, feeling as if his body could sink into his bed and swallow him whole with the heaviness he's experiencing.

"We both just want to see you happy, H. And you have been. But… it just… doesn't feel like you are as happy as you could be…"

"I'll be happy as long as they are both in my life."

[ flashback - March 2017 ]

With his bottom lip pinched between his index finger and thumb, and his weight shifting from one leg to the other, Harry watches his mother's emotions trickle down from the corners of her eyes.

The final notes of the last song fade off, and silence fills the room, Anne's shuddered exhale is the only noise that breaks through the thick air. Thick with anticipation, curiosity, emotion, and even a touch of insecurity. This is Harry's first solo album, which he wants to be as perfect as it can be, and he needs his mother's thoughts on what she heard to help relieve some of his anxiety.

"Harry." She looks over to his spot right beside her, glassy eyes showing off what he hopes is pride. "That was… just… so beautiful!"

His lungs release the air he has been holding in anticipation of her response, and they both smile, his eyes now matching the sentiment of hers, with tears beginning to form.

"Which… umm…" He coughs to clear his throat to help get his words out. "Which song was your favourite?"

"That's not really a fair question." She replies. "But I suppose if I had to choose… it would probably be… 'Sweet Creature'. It's just lovely."

"I thought you might like that one." He admits, a sheepish grin forming on his face as his gaze drops to the floor.

"Really? Why's that?"

"I don't know. I guess because it's sort of about, like… growing up, umm, with someone." He shrugs, not meeting Anne's eyes, but just barely able to make out the eyebrow she's raised in curiosity.

"So, is it about one particular person?" She asks, causing Harry's heart to come to a sudden stop. She knows how his writing process goes, and how he pulls from personal experience. She knows the context of most of his songs, albeit maybe not the deepest meaning of them all.

For this one in particular, he's been telling himself it's about someone specific, when in reality, there is definitely the possibility that someone else was the true muse for the tune. He's just not sure if he's ready to fully admit it to himself, so he is certainly not admitting that to his mother.

"Well, maybe Gem, a little bit." He states, finally knowing, as he gives that reply, that she's not entirely the one he wrote about. Partially, yes. But not completely.

•••

[ flashback - May 2017 ]

He's used to being asked about the meaning behind his songs. It happened all the time in One Direction. And today, on The Zach Sang and The Gang Show, after releasing his newest single, he's being asked those same familiar questions: what is it about, and who was it written for?

"In my opinion, most songs are written for one listener." He tells the host, Zach, who seems a little surprised by the response. "It's so much easier to say something in a song than it is to say it to someone, and I think it's really amazing to be able to communicate through that and be able to wrap up everything that you want to say in three and a half minutes. And say it in a song."

His stomach begins to tighten with an anxious squeeze as he's asked further about his new single.

"Umm, yeah. I think 'Sweet Creature' is definitely about one person." He replies, and he watches Zach's eyes grow wide, clearly shocked, considering Harry's answers are usually much more vague. But that's all the specificity he's willing to give out, and he begins to express how everyone can have their own meaning for the song.

The general meaning is clear, or at least he thinks it should be, but the identity of who his heart truly felt this song is for is a secret he will hold on to for as long as he has to, which will most likely be forever. Because, yes, if he chooses to, he could confirm that he wrote the song about his childhood, and about his sister. But the deeper part of his soul has finally come to a realization that he will never openly admit. The other person who he used to look at, no matter where they were, and feel at home, was always Cassidy.

[ present - October 2020 ]

Harry smiles as he witnesses shock spread across the faces of both Cassidy and Cecelia, who stare wide-eyed at him from the other end of the video call.

"So? What do you think?"

"It's… I mean… it's…" Cassidy mumbles, still seemingly taking her time to process what she is seeing.

"It looks fancy!" Cecelia exclaims, immediately causing Harry's heart to beam with joy. How that little girl has such a hold on his heart, and had it so quickly, he may never understand, but will also never complain about. "Your haircut looks fancy!"

"Are you even allowed to show us?" Cassidy asks, inquisition now replacing the surprise.

"Umm…"

"Harry!"

"Just don't… tell anyone…" He whispers, mouth stretching straight across his face to express his mistake. Though, truly, he doesn't care. Showing off his new look was just another way and another reason to talk to them. "You still haven't told me what you think, Cass…"

"Wow. Really?" She asks, rolling her eyes enough for him to see, though leaving her daughter none the wiser. He knows how annoyed she gets by his requests for a compliment. She's stubborn, just like he said the month prior. But he likes it, because even with her resistant demeanor, he always notices the tint of pink warning her cheeks. He likes knowing, or even just pretending, that she's feeling flustered over him. "It's sort of like your 'Dunkirk' hairstyle, but more…"

"Fancy!" Cecelia adds, again, a wide grin expressing her pride in her description.

"Yes, fancy." Her mum agrees. "A classic, almost vintage look."

"Mhm." He nods, pulling his lips inward to not confirm anything about her description and to not completely abandon the confidentiality he swore to keep regarding the film. He's just going to choose to believe that showing off his look was unavoidable. How can he talk with them on a video call if they can't even see him? Sound logic in his opinion.

"You-... yeah, it looks good, Harry." She admits, the red hue he was hoping to see developing quickly on her cheeks. "Honest."

"There it is. That's what I was looking for!" He chuckles, mildly wanting to cover up the way his own face has just become flushed with heat.

"Oh for-..." She squeezes her mouth shut, clearly holding back the inappropriate words from her daughter that he knows she would love to scold him with. "Don't you have to go shoot a scene or something?"

"Soon, yes."

"You should do that." She scowls from behind Cecelia. "It's a bad look to be late on your first day of filming…"

As excited and anxious as he is to begin this day, he's even more hesitant to say goodbye. Considering the way he and Cassidy left things, so uncertain and unspoken, he wants to soak in these comfortable, familiar moments. Especially since they give him such a sense of 'home'.

"You're right." He concedes, feeling just as sad about ending the call as he believes Cecelia to feel, if the look on her face is any indication. "Wish me luck!"

"G'luck Harry!" Cecelia shouts, as if the louder she is, the more luck she will send, causing Cassidy to pull back from the volume blaring out of her daughter.

"Okay, yeah, break a leg or whatever!" She adds, giving him a wink to reassure that the sentiment actually is sincere.

"Mummy!" The little girl exclaims in shock and horror as her head shoots in the direction of her mum. "Mummy! That's so mean!"

"No, that's what people say to actors!" Cassidy responds, in almost a panic, not wanting her daughter to believe she wants Harry hurt. "To wish them good luck!"

"But… why?" The little girl asks.

"I have no idea." Cassidy shrugs, causing Harry to smile at the conversation between them that he no longer seems to be a part of. It's so silly, and sweet, and just down-to-earth. He doesn't have to be included in it to enjoy it. "But, wait, is that only for stage actors, or does it count for movies too?"

He watches them both turn back to the screen, and he perks up, not really having an answer to give them.

"It doesn't matter. I'll take all the luck you two can give me. I'm sure I can use it."

"I'm sure you'll do great, no matter what."

Harry's heart flutters and aches at the same time. He loves this, their friendship, the way they are with each other now compared to all those years ago. However, he can't ignore the desire he has for more. And he can't help but wonder if they had talked about that kiss, would he have that?

"Thank you, love." He replies shyly. "I don't know when I'll be able to talk again, but I'll definitely give you a ring on your birthday, Little Bug!"

Cecelia smiles, seeming to enter a happier mood knowing she will hear from him again soon. He's glad she isn't gutted that he won't be there in person, though he is.

It's times like these that he is close to regretting his career. Or at least the fact that it regularly takes him away from his family, his friends, and his home.

Then again, what would he be going back to?

"Harry?" He hears, realizing his gaze has dropped and he has been in a daze of thoughts while still on the call.

"Sorry." He replies, looking back up to see Cassidy gazing back curiously at him. Their friendship is what he has, and wants to keep. Their friendship is what he can go back to. So right now, that's how he has to keep it, pushing down the feelings that have only been growing since he first saw Cassidy as more than his sister's best friend, which was practically at the very start. He needs to get through this movie, and get back home. Then, and only then, can he try for something more.

"You really will do great, H. You were born for this." She encourages, her typical banter replaced by the sweetest and most genuine support. "So… don't actually break a leg. Yeah? We need you back in one piece."

And there it is. That's all he needs to get through until he can see them again. See her again.

Series Masterlist

•••

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[klutzyroses]

Hi, congratulations on 300 followers. I recently shaved my head te help boost my self confidence, it’s working but I was wondering if you could do a head cannon sort of thing where the princes + rio with an s/o who has a shaved head. A bit insecure at times but is willing to stand up for themself.

Yasss, well done dear, I'm sure you look gorgeous!💖

IkePri HCs: SO with a Shaved Head

How do they react to an s/o with a shaved head?

Suitors: Leon, Chevalier, Yves, Rio

Leon

Wow...

He wasn't going to pretend he's ever seen someone like her but isn't that what makes her so interesting?

He wouldn't actually address it directly. He would just treat her normally, but he has noticed, no doubts about that.

He never really thought about it, but a woman with a shaved head is rather...appealing. Most people, in theory, would be put off, sure but...

She was beautiful. Very beautiful. And he let's her know it.

Nobody is allowed to deny it, lest they face the full wrath of a certain black Lion.

But he doesn't need to intervene too often, he finds, as she seems able to hold her own quite well. Would you look at that?

If she does ever feel insecure, he will be right there to remind her that she is beautiful no matter what.

She is much to perfect to feel like anything less.

Chevalier

He wouldn't treat her any differently than anybody else really. He wouldn't even bring it up.

Yes, he has noticed she has a shaved head. What of it?

He will admit, to nobody but himself that he is just the slightest bit intrigued, as that is quite the bold move for a woman around Rhodolite. He will admit that she looked quite...comely. Surprisingly enough.

He still wouldn't show it until she became his lover. Only then would he possibly hint at his admiration...very slightly.

If she felt insecure about it at any point, he would likely call her a fool for thinking such silly things and reminding her that he doesn't fall for just any woman on the street.

This is further reinforced when she may just catch a glimpse of a proud smirk on his visage when she is faced with any backlash from others, very easily putting them in her place without his help.

Yes, she may prove to be a very intriguing and worthy partner indeed.

Yves

That's quite the bold look. He approves.

He would never admit it right away, but he found it suited her rather well. And coming from the Fifth Prince that meant something.

If he said something suited her, it meant it suited her without a doubt.

He probably wouldn't really bring it up often, except if he was being rude, like the first time they met, he had made an insensitive comment about her shaved head. But trust and believe he will feel absolutely awful about it for the next six months.

Licht once caught him hitting his head on a pillar muttering "Stupid, stupid Yves!" over and over...

If she should feel insecure about it, he would stop at nothing to make her feel better, spending potentially hours helping her accessorize and doing her up until she is easily to most enviably beautiful woman in Rhodolite.

He can't help but swoon just a bit when he sees how strong she is and how capable she is of standing her ground in the face of any heckling and teasing about her appearance.

She really is one of a kind...

Rio

Girl please, he'd be bent over backwards for her whether she was Rapunzel or had no hair at all.

He would always gush about how beautiful and special she is, and would easily come up with the kindest, most flattering words to make her feel on top of the world.

That's what a good attendant does, isn't it? To build up his mistress and make her feel good about herself?

He actually finds it so cool and it makes her all the more unique, doesn't it? The most beautiful woman in Rhodolite...

And in Benitoite. And Jade...And Obsidian!

In the whole world!

Anyone who dares make her feel like she is anything less...well...hm. Let's hope they lived a full life.

She won't have any time to feel insecure because he makes it his mission to at least compliment her once on her appearance a day...maybe more.

Seeing she is able to stand up for herself when others try to put her down is like seeing a rare flower blooming, an opportunity he feels all too fortunate to experience.

His mistress is much too amazing!

🌸

[aerisleis-fics]

2023 Writing in Review

I did an ao3 wrapped thing and mostly this is closer to the art wrapped where its one piece from each month. Some months don't have pieces (and that's okay.) I also kind of want to take a moment to reflect on what I hope to accomplish next year and what I (feel like I) accomplished this year. That'll all go at the end.

Total number of works posted this year topped out at 36 choosing one work for each month was hard as hell. But I tried to choose the one I was most proud of or felt like I did something that stretched my skill in. This feels long so under a cut it goes.

January-March: Nothing posted. Creative hibernation, if you will.

April: Nightmares and Horrors (RWBY) Speculative Post Volume 8 ending. Ruby wakes up alone in an unfamiliar world, wounded, tired, and terrified. It doesn't get a lot better from there.

May: Aligned Between Us (FFVII) Zack and Cloud finally have a real conversation about everything. Also featuring Tifa being a good friend!

June: Beginning Where We Ended (FFVII) Instead of waking up in the church after his (near) death at the hands of Sephiroth’s remnants, Cloud wakes up on the wasteland outside of Midgar over two years before. Zack faces down Shinra’s infantry, and Cloud finds he has the strength to change history.

But to do that, Cloud has to face it all again, while warring with his own splintered psyche. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to do it alone, if only he’d remember that.

July: Moments of Peace (FFVII) Quick meeting with Reeve of the WRO and Tseng of the Turks, and then the Boys have a Night in the Costa Del Sol home before the rest of their trip.

August: Unrealistic Expectations (FFXV) After nearly failing the trial of the Tidemother, Noctis stands precariously balanced between his duty, his emotions, and his body’s need for rest. The Prince fails to heed Lunafreya’s warning about taking it easy, and his friends find the hard way that Noctis hasn’t been truthful with them.

September: What Makes a Monster (FFVII) With only hours separating Zack from the massacre of Nibelheim, he does the best he can to stop it from happening.

October: Saving the Hero (FFVII) A pair of scenes centering in on Sephiroth saving Zack, and Zack - in his own way - saving Sephiroth in return.

November: Recordings for Sleeping (FFVII) At first it had been disheartening - was he that boring to talk to? But over time, Zack had come to understand that it wasn’t that it was boring. It was that Sephiroth had come to associate Zack talking with a sense of peace and the fact that things were okay, so he could relax - and, subsequently, could rest. It was incredibly touching, now that Zack understood it better.

December: Pause, Rewind, Restart (FFVII) Cloud and Marlene are visiting the church when they find themselves pulled backward into the past. With no way back home, Cloud sets himself to doing the best he can to make sure that this future goes better than the one they came from because he can't just do nothing.

Reflections

This year was kind of wild, I ended up absolutely hip deep in a fandom I have loved for a really long time but avoided for a number of reasons. And I didn't just wade in slowly, no I dove right in and I'll admit I'm kind of having the time of my life. As can... probably seen by the sheer number of fics for that specific fandom that I've posted. I crossed the 75 fic marker this year! And I'm so close to the 100 fic marker that I'm vibrating. It feels big it feels like I've accomplished something.

In the new year I want to get better at interacting on my social media again. I want to post snippets and thoughts and ideas rather than just appearing for long enough to like. Drop the newest fic and disappearing into the void. I also, of course, look forward to writing (and finishing!) more projects. I've still got a lot sitting in wip land that I look forward to sharing with everyone.

I don't know what 2023 will hold but I'm thankful for all the support so far and I look forward to seeing where it brings me next year.

[marvelsbanner]

Part of a Team

Summary: Wanda is the newest Avengers recruit and she’s having a hard time finding her place in this new life- maybe she can find it in you?

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x y/n, you

Warnings: Brief mention of death and blood, minor language (if you squint theres kind of compromising situations? nothing outright sexual)

Word Count: ~2700

A/N: Reblogs, likes, and comments are VERY much appreciated, all mistakes are my own! xx 

**I don't own marvel and if I did Natasha would be alive**

Something was wrong. You were just in Strucker’s lab- just on the trail of one of the enhanced twins. The alarms were going off around you and your boots clanged on the metal floor- before you froze in your place, a red haze overtaking you and suddenly you were thrown into the daylight.

-

You felt tingles run through your veins and down your spine; your head throbbed. You felt vulnerable, seen. What the hell is going on-

You’re in the forest, you think. No- there are rocks. Big rocks-

Focus.

No, not rocks. Graves. Gravestones. Where the hell are you?

You drag your heavy feet over to the nearest, it takes a moment for your vision to focus.

Who’s grave? Who’s grave? Oh god.  No no no- this, this can’t be-

Natasha Romanoff.

You felt like throwing up. This couldn’t be real. You dragged yourself to another stone situated nearby: Clint Barton. Beloved husband, father, and friend.

It felt like you couldn't breathe, you were just there with them. You were just there.

Your body jerks as cold hands grab your shoulders and spin your body to face them-

Steve.

You throw your arms around his neck, “STEVE! Oh god Steve! You’re okay- you’re.. cold” you feel something wet and sticky on your hand, pulling it back and seeing red. So much red.

“Steve..” you quickly stumble back, tripping in the process. It’s then you see- it’s too late. His body was grey and lifeless. He falls onto his knees and then collapses totally. You scream and scramble backwards, head hitting another gravestone in the process.

You turn to face it, to read another name of one of the team members you’ve come to call family- but it's not one of theirs. It’s yours.

It’s your name. A graveyard for the Avengers, Earth’s mightiest heroes.

Suddenly your body jolts and you take a sharp intake of breath- your ears are pounding. Everything hurts. But you see her- the enhanced. She’s looking at you with a look you can’t describe. It’s not fear, it’s not anger.. Pity? Empathy? You can’t look away from her, the glowing red eyes capturing you as their prey.

And then there was black.

-

A few weeks later and you’re back at the tower. Things have changed- the entire world has changed, really. The battle opened up new doors- literal new doors to new realms- that the world had previously thought impossible.

The team had expanded, with Steve’s friend Sam joining the team, as well as Vision, the synthezoid that helped the team to defeat Ultron.

There was also her.

Wanda Maximoff was one of the enhanced twins from Strucker’s experiments, you eventually learned. It was voluntary, but after learning about her backstory you think you would have done the same in her place. 

She lost her brother- Pietro- in the battle and she took it hard. She didn’t come out of her room when she could help it. Clint was rather protective over her, maybe it was the fatherly figure coming out of him- maybe he was feeling guilt over being the one Pietro sacrificed himself to save. Either way, he was able to get her out of the room a few times and get her to eat. Vision also struck up a strange friendship with the girl- but then again, Vision was easy company, and rather empathetic for a synthezoid.

Everybody took a hit from when Wanda messed with their heads, some more than others.

You didn’t talk for a week.

Didn’t even talk with Clint’s kids when they wanted to play with you.

You didn’t hold it against her. She proved what a valuable asset she was to the team as she fought alongside the group. She did what she thought was right at the time, and that’s not something you could hold against anybody.

Ever since the Battle, Wanda has been staying in the Avengers facilities with the rest of the group, an official Avenger, but you could tell she was still uneasy around the team. She only talked when she was directly talked to and didn't come out of her room but for a few times a day for food and training, sometimes not even then.

And then there was you.

She seemed to avoid you like the plague. You weren’t even sure you two made eye contact for the entire first few weeks she was there.

At first you thought she just didn’t like you, that something about you rubbed her the wrong way, or something you had done had offended her.

But it was her eyes that gave it away- the same soft look that she gave you right after exploring the deepest and darkest parts of your mind that day at Strucker’s lab. She knew from the second it happened that she had hit a deep nerve, and she would continue to give you that damn look every time she thought you didn't notice her.

But you always did.

You couldn’t help it, the way you were drawn to her. She reminded you so much of yourself before joining the team, broken, and alone in your head. You wanted to know her. You wanted to be there for her, be someone to her, you didn’t want her to keep walking on eggshells around you.

And so, you told her.

You found her in the kitchen late one night. She was wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a garnet tank top with a plain gray robe overtop. Her hair was a mess, roughly shoved into a ponytail and her hands were cupped around a mug. She was blowing on what looked to be dandelion tea, and as you got closer the fragrant earthy smell confirmed your suspicions.

She looked adorable.

And slightly startled to find you alone with her.

“Evening” you said as a greeting as you made your way to the counter top.

She gave a tight-lipped half smile with a timid “Hi” before going back to blowing on her tea. She made a slight movement that looked like she was going to try to slip away before you continued,

“You did really well in training the other day. Cap can’t give you enough praise” you say, taking a seat on one of the counter barstools.

She looks puzzled for a moment over your attempt at small talk before getting out a “Thank you.”

You both stood there in silence for a moment, just looking at each other, feeling the air grow thicker with each second ticking by.

“I like the pajamas” you say with a small smirk. You yourself were still dressed for the day in your leather jacket and black jeans. You could have sworn you saw flush creep up her neck before she swallowed it down with a sip of her tea.

There was another silent moment as she gave you a quizzical look, “I don’t quite understand what’s happening here.” She says with a vague hand gesture to the space between them.

You gave a slight chuckle, it was very on-brand for Wanda to be straight to the point.

“Look, Wanda,” You rotated your body on the stool to face her more comfortably,

“I see the way you look at me when you think i’m not looking. You avoid me at any given opportunity, I actually think this has been the most words we’ve exchanged in your whole time living here.”

She raised her ducked head to look you in the eyes and gave a small shake to her head, “I don’t understand.”

You don’t break eye contact, but simply offer a small smile as you reply “I’m not afraid of you, Wanda. And I don’t hold anything from that day against you. All is forgiven, and I would like to move past that. I understand you believed everything you were doing was for the right reasons, and the only thing that it shows me is your dedication and loyalty to a greater cause. Even if it was the wrong one at the time.”

She looked shocked, to say the least. Her mouth slightly opening and closing as she pondered what to say in response.

“You all should be afraid of me. You see the chaos I’ve created and you think you know what I can do,” her voice caught before she continued, “But the truth is I don't even know what i'm capable of. I don’t belong here.” she says softly.

You give a sad smile before slipping off of the stool and moving closer to her.

“We all thought that, at one point or another. We’ve got a whole freak circus here, we’ve got more baggage than Delta flies in a year- that's, that's uh, an airline. My bad.” You elaborate after she gives you a puzzled look, holding back a smile at your stuttered explanation.

“Aaand I ruined the moment.” You give a small chuckle, before continuing “But my point still stands. Nobody belongs here more or less than anyone else. We’re all just here, that's the truth of the matter. We’re just a bunch of unlucky misfits trying to figure out how to work as a team. Just give it a try, and maybe you’ll find you fit in better than you imagined you would.”

At some point during your speech you had moved close enough to take her hand, and you look down at it now, blushing before going to move it away.

Before you could, she gives your hand a squeeze before moving in to place a gentle kiss against your cheek.

“Thank you, y/n.”

And with that she slips away to her room, leaving you alone with your racing heart and her lukewarm mug of tea.

-

The next morning you found yourself awake bright and early for another morning training session with Nat and Steve- but you had a guest this time.

“Wanda” you greeted, which she returned with a timid “Good morning.”

“I’m glad you could make it” you say, sincerely.

“I decided to take your advice.” She replies with the smallest smile pulling at her lips.

The two of you stood there for a moment, just taking each other in before Steve cleared his throat, “Alright, we should get started then. Wanda, I'll spar with you to start. Nat, you take y/n. Try not to kill each other, please.” He said with a humored smile.

You make your way towards the corner with Nat on your heels. She gives you a quizzical look with a raised brow, glancing between you and Wanda. You roll your eyes and shake your head, only responding with a pointed “Later,” before your legs sweep under hers and an arm wraps around her torso, flipping you both to the ground and landing with you on top of her.

“Using my own move against me, that’s a low blow y/n.” You both laugh, and you barely respond with a “I learned from the best” before she wraps a leg around your waist and grabs your wrists with one hand, flipping you over and pinning you to the ground. She winks and replies “Damn right you did.”

It went like that for another half an hour, the two of you going back and forth battling for the upper hand. Natasha was the one who had trained you since the beginning, and you could almost say you were near her equal now. Well, you could at least give her a run for her money in a spar.

The two of you were panting and glistening with sweat, cheeks flushed from the exercise when she gave you a mischievous wink and called out to the other two, “Hey grandpa, I think I’m done getting my ass kicked by y/n for the day. I want someone easy, come spar with me”

If looks could kill, the look you were giving her would have the assassin dead on the floor.

Steve only looked amused, grabbing a towel to wipe his own sweat as he responded “Bring it on, Romanoff. Try not to break anything, though. I’ve been told they want my bones for the Smithsonian” Nat rolled her eyes and gave a pointedly fake laugh before they made their way to the other side of the gym, leaving you and Wanda alone.

“Hi” you greeted. She responded with a small smile and a “Hi” in return.

She looked as though she were still catching her breath, the rise and fall of her chest was noticeably fast and her face was still adorned with a glisten of sweat and pretty pink flush.

The same flush you saw from her last night, standing in the kitchen with the dim light around her.

Oh God you were in deep now.

“Nat and I were just wrestling around, hand to hand combat kind of stuff, but I see you and Steve were boxing so it's up to you what you’d like to do.” you say quickly.

“Well.. I do have this,” She waves her hand to show her flicker of red powers “for missions, so I don’t think I really need that kind of training.” She says with a smirk, “But I admit, you seem like a good teacher. Maybe.. some basics?”

She was pushing it. Pushing at this, the same way you were pushing last night. Alright, maybe you could run with this.

You give her a teasing smile, “Alright then. We’ll start slowly. May I?” You ask, reaching out for her, but not quite touching.

“By all means” she says, and you can feel the familiar flush creeping up your neck again. You release a puff of breath and shake yourself out of your thoughts before stepping closer to Wanda, and in one fluid motion you had one leg behind hers, your left arm resting against her upper chest and your other at the small of her back, pushing her flush against yourself.

You could hear the small gasp she let out, smirking to yourself.

“This is a simple take down, easy to get out of, but good for beginning. Now i'm just gonna pull you down as slowly as I can-”

You bring her left leg out from under her and carefully let the two of you sink to the floor, leaving you straddled on top of her and pinning her arms to the ground. The air suddenly felt a lot warmer.

You meet her eyes, breath hitching as you feel her pulse quicken beneath your touch.

You clear your throat and begin again, “Like I said before, it’s easy to get out of, but you want to keep the element of surprise. Use your opponent's body weight against them, if you can twist your wrist to slip it out of their grip and use your hips to to flip-”

Before you could even finish she had you pinned beneath her, wind knocked out of you from the impact.

“Like that?” she said, looking down at you through hooded eyes, thick accent teasing- flirting?

You were suddenly very aware of your close proximity and compromising position- flush against each other with her hips straddling your waist; close enough to feel her rapid heartbeat. 

“Yeah- that was- that was good” you sputtered out, barely able to hear yourself over the rapid beating of your own heart. Or maybe it was hers- you aren't sure you could tell the difference between up and down right now.

She gave a proud smirk and opened her mouth to say something before a certain synthezoid floated through the gym walls, clueless to the moment he was interrupting.

“Mr. Stark requests a team meeting and would like you to meet him in the conference room.” He said simply before turning and leaving through the wall again.

Wanda gave you a look that seemed to say we’ll finish this later and moved off of you. You missed the heat of her body immediately.

She offered you a hand up and you gladly took it, the two of you walking side by side in silence to the meeting, shoulders bumping and small smiles shared between you two as you think to yourself that maybe you could get used to this. 

[charles-rxwlands]

the aftermath of 'i love you.'

this is the sequel to my fic how kaz would react to 'i love you.' which was basically all angst. spoiler alert: this is all angst, too.

pairing: kaz brekker/reader but not exactly (??) cause they've broken up so uh

rating: teen

word count: 1.5k (rounded up)

summary: what happened after you said 'i love you,' to kaz

tags: gender neutral!reader, angst, unhappy ending

warnings: swearing, self-deprecating thoughts, and i think that's it? but pls lmk if anything else is needed

read on ao3

a/n: the writing quality of this really went 📉📈📉 but in my defense i wrote most of this while my brother watched tommy innit videos at full volume so ofc i was distracted.

and fyi muzzen is not an oc, he's one of the minor minor characters in soc!

once again, feedback and reblogs are appreciated! hope you enjoy reading <3

Kaz's pov

He watched you from the other side of the room as you blatantly flirted with Muzzen. He had his glass of kvas (Jesper had begged for the club to order the ravkan mead for weeks) in a death grip. You ran your fingers through your hair, and smiled at something Muzzen had said. He tugged lightly on the collar of your jacket, making you laugh softly. Kaz's heart tightened, jealousy settling in his chest.

You looked happy, even as you conversed with the brainless bodyguard who probably couldn't count up to ten. Kaz hadn't been able to make you happy like that. But you had loved him anyway, and he had 'fucked you over', as you'd put it.

I love you.

You're a coward, Brekker.

Kaz let out something in between a sigh and a frustrated grunt. He drained the rest of his drink in one go, and set the glass down more violently than he'd intended. His scowl deepened, if that were even possible, when he sensex Inej slide into the seat next to him. He waited for her to speak, because he sure as hell wasn't going to initiate the conversation. What was there to say? You and him were over. And it was all his fault. 

"Kaz," Inej said. Her tone of voice was gentle - too gentle. He didn't want to be pitied, for fuck's sake. 

"What is it, Inej?" he snapped. 

"Tell me what happened between you and Y/n."

"Nothing to tell." He shrugged. 

Annoyance flickered over her face. "I care about you both, you know," she said. "I don't like seeing you two like this."

He gave her a withering look, if only to disguise the ugly feeling that flared up within him at her words. 

Don't care about me.

Don't love me.

You can't.

Kaz bit the inside of his cheek and hung his head. He studiously ignored Inej for a solid minute. At some point, he noticed that you and Muzzen had abandoned your corner table, most likely to go suck each other's faces off. The thought sent jolts of jealousy through his heart. 

"For Saint's sake- did she break your heart? Is that it?" she demanded, apparently having had enough of his silence.

He 'tsked' in annoyance, standing up abruptly. He snatched up his cane. "Maybe I broke hers," he muttered before walking off. He didn't want to answer questions today. Or ever.

Inej didn't follow him, and he was thankful for that. He trudged up the stairway, the rickety steps creaking under his weight. Emotions swirled within him, brewing up a storm. It was just a matter of time before he exploded, because as much as he hated to admit it, he was still human. Especially when it came to you. 

You had been one of the first people to see his humanity, and the last thing he wanted was to become another monster in your life.

But then again, maybe it was too late.

Suddenly, he bumped into someone. He hissed, flinching backwards. "Watch it-," his next words died on his tongue when he looked up, and came face to face with you. For a few, painfully awkward moments, the two of you held eye contact. Your face was stony, but your e/c eyes betrayed some kind of emotion that Kaz couldn't be bothered to decipher right now.

"Sorry, Brekker," you apologised. Your tone was flat. "C'mon, Muzzen," you gestured for him to follow you back down with a jerk of your head.

His hand twitched at his side as you left, almost as if his body yearned for your presence. Your shoulders nearly touched - missing each other by less than a centimetre. He couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing. 

Letting out another sharp breath, Kaz resumed the walk back to his room. His footsteps grew quicker and more urgent. Your name echoed in his mind, as well as the three words that had haunted him for days now. 

Y/n. Y/n. Y/n.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

He slammed the door behind him when he finally reached his quarters. His cane fell to the floor, although his gloves stayed on. He stumbled into the cramped bathroom, bracing two hands against the rusty sink. He twisted the tap open, ignoring the squeak of the old mechanism that would have otherwise annoyed him. A gentle stream of water flowed from the tap head, and he splashed some on his face. 

No, he thought stubbornly, I am not going to break down because of Y/n.

The despair that rattled inside of him said otherwise.

f only he had reacted better when you'd told him you loved him. If only he hadn't yelled at you and called you all those horrible things that weren't true about you in the slightest. You weren't selfish at all. You were the exact opposite. You were kind, and thoughtful, and understanding - so, so understanding of him and his endless baggage. And he had- he had ruined it all, because of his own cowardice.

You're a coward, Brekker.

I know, he thought, not for the first time. I'm sorry. 

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Your pov

"I- I'm sorry, Muzzen, but I think I'm gonna turn in for the night," you said to the bodyguard, smiling sheepishly. "I've got a bit of a headache."

"It's alright," he said, giving a half-hearted smile back. It was clear he didn't believe you. You didn't know if that was because your acting skills weren't as up to par as you thought, or because the bodyguard was smarter than you made him out to be.

You all but ran up the stairs, nearly sagging in relief as the door closed behind you. You suddenly couldn't stand the feeling of the fabric of your coat on your skin and shrugged it off; Kaz had bought it for you, because of course the reminder of him lingered everywhere you went.

Your room wasn't anywhere near big, but it was a good way away from Kaz's, and for the first time, you were grateful for that. You couldn't deal with him at the moment.

Wait, no, that came out wrong. It wasn't him specifically that you couldn't deal with, it was the bad memories (or, rather, memory, as there was one key shitshow that had ruimed everything) that came with him.

Oh, Saints, why, why, why had you told him you loved him? Things had been going so well! And then you- you fucked it up. Yes, you had blatantly blamed this on Kaz the day of the argument, but deep down, you knew you were the one at fault. 

Your heart ached every time you thought of him. You missed Kaz. So, so much. It hadn't escaped you how he had been eyeing you and Muzzen earlier in the evening. You could only hope that he was staring out of jealousy, and not devising some foolproof plan to get rid of you.

What would it take for Kaz to forgive you? Or had you fucked things up beyond repair? 

"Shit," you whispered, leaning your head against the wall. Tears burned at the corners of your eyes. "Shit." You didn't know what exactly was 'shit'. Maybe the decision you came to moments later.

I'm going to apologise to him," you said to your empty room. "I will."

With a sniffle, you cracked open your door and slipped back outside. You had left your coat in a pile on the floor, making you vulnerable to the cold that pierced the empty areas of the Crow Club. Your feet carried you to Kaz's room naturally. You barely had to think about where you were going. Instead, you thought of Kaz himself. 

Kaz. Your fallen angel, you used to call him in your mind. You couldn't express how sorry you were. You didn't even know what you were sorry for. Loving him? Loving him, and saying it aloud? Loving him, and saying it aloud, because you were so sure he felt the same way? 

You had been being selfish. Kaz said so himself. Selfish and stupid. Of course Kaz didn't love you.

At last, you were in front of his door. You raised a fist to knock. Opened your mouth to call out. Except you did none of those. You just stood there, tears welling up in your eyes once again, a familiar pang of sadness in your chest. 

He wouldn't want to see you. How could he? This was your fault, wasn't it? It was your selfishness, and your wishful thinking that had gotten you two into this position. You missed him, but you wouldn't go as far as to think he missed you, too. If you attempted to apologise… would it really be for him? 

You wouldn't be selfish. Not again.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. 

You turned around, and walked away. 

[silversiren1101]

Mino, I'm very interested to know - what do you think of your mythic powers? What made you decide to go Aeon?

"I hate them." She looks at you, unblinking, unflinching, her smile never wavering. "But I suppose you want a reason."

Minovae reclines backward, and there is something almost like contempt in her eyes as she speaks. A rare, ugly emotion not often seen there.

"I've always been different. Never out of choice. All I ever wanted to be was treated the same as everyone... another piece of society that doesn't stick out for better or for worse. I wanted to be considered for what I contribute and my work. My skills. Things that I've worked for to earn and strived to do, rather than parts of me I can't change or are just part of me than can be used to judge without merit or reason..."

Her tail feathers rattle pointedly.

"I didn't earn or ask for these powers, but now it's all anyone really sees and thinks of me as. The Inevitable Paradox, rather than 'Minovae Arangeir.' It doesn't matter that I'm a hard worker and that I prefer to do things honestly with my hands. All I am now is this power. All I am now is my protean crown. Potential for shaping history and the world. A figurehead... to be allied with and manipulated..."

She shakes her head.

"As for why the aeon... because it's not secret how little I think of the gods overall. You have to remember, I grew up in burning Cheliax. My entire life has been shaped by the destruction and chaos caused by the death of just one god. I don't mind most of the gods, but I believe mortals need to stand on our feet first. Relying too much upon the gods is just a recipe for disaster on every side of the equation. I'm not as radical as Rahadoum, but someone like Seelah would go far enough to say I'm a bit heretical in my beliefs. Yet even she saw what happened to the Hand of the Inheritor... how easily he was abandoned by a goddess off supposedly goodness and justice. Her goddess."

An eye rolls conveys her opinion, but her smile is still a bit warm. It's kind of like she feels pity for her paladin friend.

"So, I believe in the power of Goodness, but not the baggage that comes with the power of Heaven. I foolishly thought that pure Law would be different in that regard - that Aeons didn't mettle in the affairs of the material plane like the gods and their servants do. That leaning on that power wouldn't make me indebted to some higher power."

A bitter, tired laugh heaves her shoulders as she then bites at her lip.

"Of course, I know better know. The number of outsiders that genuinely care about the autonomy of mortals is frighteningly few. But now the aeon is just a part of me as the protean is, and I won't ever be able to be a part of the system ever again, really. Not truly."

She sighs deeply.

"At least I know that, though. I'm not going to pretend to be something that I'm not."

Thanks for asking! She would give up every mote of her powers if she could.

[slashbitch2]

The Very Nosy Neighbour

this fic was 100% inspired by this one here , but I mean it practically wrote itself I couldn't resist

NSFW

You can't remember much past waking up in an unfamiliar room- though 'room' is really a sugarcoated description, as in reality it qualifies more as some kind of cavern. You're sitting in a chair, ankles and wrists bound by an indistinguishable material. Whatever the binds are made of feels strong, so any attempts to struggle against it are futile. Yet, in spite of what really should be an extremely stressful situation, you find yourself completely relaxed. You briefly wonder whether you've been drugged, but with every sense feeling fully operational, that theory is soon dismissed.

Instead of choosing a more logical response to the circumstances you've found yourself in, you decided to focus more on your surroundings: not to form any resemblance of an escape plan, but simply out of curiosity. Although, the investigation is equally as ineffective. You're unable to name anything around you except for stone walls, strange (glowing?) vines and weird symbols carved above a few archways. Everything beyond that is either entirely lost to you, or shrouded in darkness.

With little else to do, you start to think back on the events that led you there, trying to glean any useful information from the blurry memories. The clearest image, therefore the most recent, is the smirking face of a woman, Agnes you realise. Though the malicious glint in her eyes doesn't quite match your perception of the nosy neighbour. But where is she now? Is she also in danger? You may not have known Agnes for very long, but are reluctant to let any harm come to her regardless.

With a clearer head, you consider calling for help, but a small voice at the back of your subconscious warns you against this. And the voice sounds smart, so you elect to listen to it. But what should you do instead? Where did this voice come from? And most importantly, should you trust it? Luckily, you aren't given much time to overthink the decision.

While trying to tune into this voice, footsteps echo in the distance, gradually drawing nearer. You hold your breath as the sound suddenly stops, leaving your eyes scanning the vicinity for any movement. The unpleasant reality dawns on you all too quickly: the footsteps were approaching from behind you.

“Well, well, well.” Someone says playfully, then snorts as they start walking closer. "Sorry to be a total cliché. I couldn't resist." It's Agnes. She narrows her eyes and smirks, folding her arms as she examines your constrained form. Subjected to her scrutiny, you find yourself swallowing, but your throat is too dry. Other small discomforts also become noticeable; your cramped limbs, aching back and the bruises on your hands. Well at least you put up a fight. The more rational part of you, however, realises that your hands are no longer bound. You stare down at them, flexing each finger as if checking they were all still fully functional.

Something suddenly knocks into your head and you grimace. Left reeling from the impact, you realise that you're slightly nauseated. Though not enough to stop you from reaching out to grasp the floating cup of water. The fact that the glass is suspended in mid-air doesn't go unnoticed, rather ignored, since there's too much happening simultaneously to comprehend any of it in sufficient detail. You swirl the liquid round, hesitant to drink, unwilling to trust your captor's apparent mercy.

"Drink up, dear." Agnes drags a chair forward, which seems to have just appeared out of thin air. She sits backwards on it, legs spread and arms resting on the back casually. "That's all you're getting until we're done here." The tone of her voice is both threatening and teasing. You're reluctant to admit it's quite a turn on.

One glance up at her prying expression and you relent, downing the chilled water way too quickly. Though you aren't given a chance to mourn your impatience, as with an effortless wave of her hand, Agnes refills the glass. While you sip at the water, she refuses to tear her eyes away from you for even a second. It's slightly disconcerting.

“Now," She claps her hands, startling you. "I assume you know why you’re here?”

“Not really.” You confess, unable to pinpoint why anyone would go to so much effort to kidnap you, especially Agnes, who up to this point had been an eccentric yet kind neighbour.

She sighs, more for show than anything else, and rubs at her temple. "Come on Y/N, let's not play dumb now."

Embarrassingly, a heat begins to pool deep in your gut, but you quickly dismiss the unwarranted lust. "I don't know what you mean."

"Oh really?" She quirks an eyebrow, sitting upright. "You really have no idea?" The inquiry is ridiculing, and you can see that your naivety is starting to annoy her.

All you can do is shake your head and pray the sincerity is reflected in your eyes.

"Okay." She slams her hands down on her thighs. "I guess we'll have to go about this the hard way then, toots." A sharp gesture and your hands are bound before you once again.

By the time you're looking up, she's striding toward you with purpose, which does nothing to ease the building heat between your legs. Her hands clasp on the armrests either side, essentially trapping you, not like escape would've been possible without the extra precaution. Up close you finally recognize this isn't Agnes- in fact it never has been. There's a feral yet wise appearance to her, the facade of nosy neighbour dissolved in an instance to be replaced by a deranged, frighteningly powerful woman (or witch, you're undecided).

Despite your better judgement, you're unable to stop yourself from asking. "Who are you?" Your voice barely breaches a whisper, but she's standing close enough that nothing less intimate is required.

She looks mildly impressed, the corner of her mouth twitching almost indiscernibly. "Agatha Harkness." She extends a hand, smirking upon realisation that you're a little too tied up at the minute to reciprocate. "Lovely to meet you."

You swallow again, finding your throat to be a little less dry. "Likewise." Then decide to take another risk. "So what do you want from me?"

“Wanda's true identity.” She replies so quickly that you almost miss it, looking at you with an eagerly expectant expression.

Agatha's question confuses you further. “I don’t know what you mean.” Although your answer is honest, something at the back of your mind hisses lies.

"There's no need to lie here." Her patient humour had disappeared. "Trust me, no one will hear you, so drop the act."

For some unbeknown reason, her accusation angers you. "I'm not putting on an act, I don't know why I'm here or what you want from me." The bravery dissipates all of a sudden as you remember that you're not exactly in the position to command such authority. "Please, stop this."

Agatha purses her lips, stands up and turns away from you. She calmly moves forwards a few paces, and in the short amount of time you manage to convince yourself that she's given up. Until in a completely unprovoked move, she swings her hands to the left, sending her chair crashing into the wall in frustration. Whether this is part of her interrogation performance or not, it works. Your heart starts racing, and confusingly, the awkward heat between your legs pulses.

She runs a hand through her hair, still facing away from you. "Don't make this any harder harder than it needs to be." You can practically hear her grinding her teeth, but don't doubt that she was getting some enjoyment out of the situation.

"I can tell you that Wanda is my sister and only real family, that I moved to Westview with her and that I couldn't live without her." You start listing off some basic facts, desperate to prove to Agatha that nothing is hidden. That you're normal.

"What about your brother?" She swivels round, clicking her fingers as she tries to recall something. "Pietro!" She exclaims.

"Pietro..." You falter. Why does the name sound so familiar? The nausea worsens. You shake off the feeling. "Never heard of him."

“Liar.” In one swift movement, Agatha is right by your ear. The feeling of her lips brushing against your skin causes you to close your eyes. The close proximity was becoming overwhelming, and your body had chosen to react in a rather unfortunate way. Admittedly, you'd always had a thing for Agnes, but Agatha was on a whole other level. You dreaded to open your eyes, worried that she'd noticed your current state. Instead, you internally begged for mercy.

“Don't go all shy on me now.” She pushes your shoulder into the chair, compelling you to open your eyes. "If you don't want to talk, I have other methods." Her hand raises, a purple flow emanating from the tips of her fingers. It crackles and sparks, as if the power was barely contained, yet as she shifts closer to brush the hair out of your face, you don't flinch. One finger remained touching your forehead, then traced down to your jaw, and finally along to grasp your chin.

While the vaguely sinister movement terrified you, it also forced you hold your breath and grip onto the armrests for dear life. Why you'd decided this was hot was beyond you considering the many connotations of her words, yet your thighs pressed tighter together as she drew closer. You attempted to turn your head to the side, longing for distraction, but her hold on you kept your head still.

"This won't be much fun for you, dear." She sighed in mock pity, her breath hot against your skin... Which just tipped you over the edge. As hard as you tried to stifle the noise, a broken moan escaped your lips. You'd definitely hit a low point here. Too ashamed to face your apparent arousal, you screwed your eyes shut. Although, at Agatha's silence, you relented and opened them barely a minute later.

To your relief, or perhaps dismay, the woman was grinning like a maniac. Her eyes flickered down to your parted lips as she chewed on her own. Then carefully, as if she were testing the waters, her fingers began to rub against your jaw, and upwards to your mouth. Your breath deceives you by hitching as her thumb slips between your lips, stroking your tongue. At the contact, you can't help but arch into the touch. Agatha chuckles.

"I take it back." She murmurs, removing her hand. "This will be fun." Although the intimidation factor prevails, there's a certain desire mirrored in Agatha's expression which cancels out any remaining common sense. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, and even if you wanted to, there was little you could do to stop her. So, you give into your yearning, sighing as she climbs to sit on your lap. Immediately, her hand switches to gripping the back of your neck as she slams her mouth onto yours. You willingly indulge by opening further, allowing her tongue to slide between your lips. Her other hand lowers to grab at your chest, like she were trying to tug herself impossibly closer.

Without removing her lips, the hand massaging your chest shifts to your thigh. She still keeps her lips firmly pressed to yours, and with the lack of oxygen, you can feel yourself growing lightheaded. It almost feels like a challenge, one which you're determined to succeed at. Though when she eventually does break away, her hand suddenly slips between your thighs, and your breath is stolen from you once more. Wasting no time, she massages you through your clothes, dragging out an inevitable whine. The touch is both too much, and not enough. But judging by her malevolent smirk, that was exactly her intention.

Even though you were currently incapable of producing any reasonable thought, you still noticed that Agatha wasn't entirely unaffected. Her breathing was laboured, hips occasionally jerking against your thigh and eyes struggling to stay open. The influence you were having on her only encouraged you to moan louder, craving to see her equally dishevelled. Your plan seemed to momentarily fail as her hand retreated. But you'd certainly earned her attention.

She licks her lips, then abruptly changes her expression to look disturbingly like that of Agnes. "You wouldn't leave me out of the fun now, would you dear?" Her voice is high pitched as she basically sings her words. Although the question must've been rhetorical as doesn't await a response, instead you find your hands unbound, flung behind your back and bound together all in a matter of seconds. Then, she shifted her position, yanking your bodies closer so that your crotches were pressed together. She grunts, heaving forward to rest against you for a moment and regain her composure. And finally, without warning, starts to grind your hips together.

It doesn't take long for her movement to become more frantic, accompanied by her hair spilling onto her face. She remains impressively quiet, however, or perhaps you were just comparably loud. With the little pride you have left, you decide to take matters into your own hands, and start meeting each thrust with equal vigour. Miraculously, it works. She throws her head back with a remarkably loud moan, proceeded by change in strategy as she starts almost bouncing on top of you, hips losing their rhythm, pleasure overwhelming her. Startled by her lack of self-control, the heat in your stomach begins building exponentially fast. Your eyes slam shut.

A hand grasps onto your face. “Look at me!” She growls, then emphasises her demand by rolling her hips torturously slowly. The movement ceases. She leans her forehead against yours, staring directly into your eyes. “Come with me.” To your surprise, there's an audible plea in her voice.

At a loss for words, you nod. The pleasure had been building for so long that you knew it'd only take a few more grinds to push you over the edge. With your confirmation, Agatha resumes her thrusting, though soon succumbs, throwing her head back and uttering an exceptionally loud, high-pitched moan. She arches her back, pressing herself so far into you that the pleasure peaks. You groan, lurching backwards in a moment of pure bliss. All you can feel is Agatha, all you can think about is Agatha. Coming down from the high, you sigh and collapse forward to bury your face in the crook of her neck.

She tenses slightly at the contact, but soon relaxes into the strange embrace. You gently press your lips against her skin and feel her shiver, confirming your suspicion that it'd been a while since Agatha had received such affection. Motivated by a new, more innocent desire, you continue to pepper light kisses across her throat and behind her ear, simply enjoying the unexpectedly intimate moment.

Agatha finally breaks the silence, leaning away from your touch to look down at you curiously. "Wanda really has you under her mind control too, huh?"

Although still stuck in a post-coital haze, you muster enough brainpower to consider her words. "Mind control?"

"Oh, right." She smirks, a slight sadness perceptible in her eyes. "Forgot to mention." Before you can say anything, she swings one leg to the side, stiffly sliding off your lap and clasping her hands together. "You might want to reconsider where your loyalties lie, dear." She glances at you, then ambles to the opposite side of the room. "That's one fucked up family situation right there." Her voice teasingly calls out.

You feel yourself flush, strangely offended by her comment, and annoyed by her vagueness. "Like you can talk." Your response is a total shot in the dark, but must've hit a nerve since she slowly turns back to you, a suspicious expression upon her face. "Just a guess." You add, unwilling to know the details of whatever sensitive topic you'd just touched upon. Agatha easily shrugs it off, leaving behind a stifling silence. Eventually, it's a mixture of your own boredom and concern that prompts you to end the lull in conversation. "Are you still planning on interrogating me about something I know nothing about?"

"Oh, no I read your mind." She waves a dismissive hand over her shoulder. "Got all I needed."

Again, you're left suffocating in the confusion her ambiguity provokes, with nothing else to ask except. "How...?"

The inquiry must've been exactly what Agatha wanted to hear as she immediately dropped what she was doing to turn around and lean on the wall, arms folded in a casually smug pose. "Sex leaves you vulnerable." She smirked. "All I did was take advantage of the opportunity- but I'll spare you the boring details." With a flourish of her hand and a flash of purple, the binds holding your ankles and wrists disappeared. "You can go now. First door on the left."

Without sparing you another glance, she busied herself with some witchy task, allowing you to see yourself out. Massaging your wrists, you stood slowly, watching her expectantly. Surely she wouldn't just let you leave? Yet as you sauntered over to the door she'd directed you to, she made no move to stop you. "Bye then?"

Agatha looked up at you and winked. "See you around, neighbour."

[bored-storyteller]

@severnrose honey, I shouldn't have preferences but how could I wait to write for you and Xiao?

Dear Xiao, sweet Xiao, thank you for asking, I have good reasons to love you :3

60- Genshin Impact, Xiao x Reader (angst/comfort)

From the prompt list

17- "Am I the reason you cry every night?"

33- "Do you know how it feels to wish for death every day?"

For Xiao you are like a little sparrow, so fragile and so free at the same time. He never understood what bad star forced you to meet with him, it was something so unlikely that it might have seemed ironic, but still he never tried to put you in a cage. You didn't deserve it. Sure, you're an absurd being, sometimes annoying, sometimes inconsistent and stupid, but you're also something he never bothered to find, a free kindness and a relief he always knew he didn't deserve.

So he never wanted to condemn you to a relationship with someone like him.

For this reason, when the darkness inside him had become heavier, when he realized he had gone too far, he pushed your worried eyes away from him. It was his job to protect you too, and he hadn't noticed the wound he had inflicted on you.

He is never too kind with words, he doesn't talk much and when he does he is never able to sweeten his sentences. It has always gone well with you.

Yet this time something was different; maybe he had been worse without realizing it, or maybe you were more fragile than usual, but he immediately opened a cruel door in front of you and a wave of awareness hit you. Yes, you were nothing but a burden to him.

Xiao hadn't seen you since that day. Or rather, he had happened to see you around, as always, doing your chores, helping where there was need, but he had no longer had the opportunity to be with you, alone, as you used to do from time to time, maybe in the evening, under the stars.

Initially he hadn't done anything, he hadn't thought of anything either. You were simply too busy, as he was, on the other hand.

But one night, about to give way to the morning, while he was checking his wounds, your sobs had come to him, and so did the next night, and the one after that.

He found himself listening to your silent cry every night, and he watched over you, albeit from a distance. And when he reluctantly had to walk away, he cursed anyone who caused you that unspoken suffering. If only you wanted to tell him he would be ready to protect you, again. But again, you were a fragile, free little bird, and he wasn't enough for you, he wasn't enough to take the pain away from your heart. Someday in the near future that would pass, everything passes for mortals, and maybe he could see you smiling again under the stars. This was what he believed - or hoped for.

But in one of those dark moments, your call rang in his ears and vibrated in his bowels. Wherever he was, he recognized his name spoken by you, in the agony of your nights.

He had joined you immediately, he had immediately appeared there, standing at your bedside.

Your name had escaped his lips perhaps too quickly, and for a few seconds he waited for an answer that never came. In its place, your sobs continued soft and distressed, your body curled up under the pale sheets.

He should have sensed right away, that yours was just a moan in your sleep, but somehow it had been necessary for him to chase the chance to see you again. How long had he not seen you?

Your suffering face made his heart tremble; he would have devoured your nightmares if you asked him.

He again spoke your name, his hand shaking you slightly, trying to tear you out of your dream.

Your reaction had been more violent than he expected and had broken the composure of the Adeptus for a moment, making him move backwards, taken by surprise. However, he thought it was normal, given the sudden awakening.

"Xiao!" His name had been uttered by your voice in amazement, but it was soon abandoned as you took your eyes off his figure "What are you doing here?"

The delicate face of the millennial Yaksha frowned in perplexity. Even now that he was there in front of you, did you persist in hiding your torments from him?

"You called me." His response was swift and straightforward, as always.

"I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to, I'm really sorry." Your apologies were fragile and uncertain.

Xiao let out a slight sigh, while his dark lashes lowered to the precious gold irises.

"Why don't you tell me?" The question he asked you later was unexpected, and for a moment you shivered at the authority of his voice, but he didn't realize "What happened?"

"Nothing." You cut it short and it irritated him. You knew how to be so stubborn when you wanted to.

"I hear your sobs every night."

He didn't want to utter those words as an accusation, maybe he hadn't even done it, but suddenly you stiffened and bowed your head even more, guilty.

"I'm sorry…!" Now your voice was broken and desperate, and a doubt began to creep into Xiao's mind as slimy as a snake.

How long haven't you called him? Why weren't you looking at him? Why weren't you smiling at him anymore?

"Who ... has anyone hurt you?" Now it was he who had lost confidence in his voice.

"Nobody ... really." You had obviously made an effort to stay calm, and somehow reassure him. But even though he didn't really understand human emotions, even though he was a different and detached creature, he could sense you.

"It's me…?" He couldn't explain why, but he felt like he was hurting himself "Am I the reason you cry every night?"

Your silence was a new pain for him. You didn't dare look at him, because it was hard for you to admit how much his distance and his disappointment had upset you.

But behind his sweet stoic face he prayed to have your eyes on him, he prayed for you to remove that horrible, strange feeling that made its way inside him, at least until he was forced to turn his back on you.

Xiao is used to pain and suffering, but that time something had changed. It was something new, something he never wanted to try.

A fist clung to his chest, and he trembled. How long had his hands no longer been shaking?

He thought he was about to give in, he believed that finally his heart would break under the weight of the new, umpteenth, fault of him.

He felt the physical need to vent that sudden wave of suffering that had hit him. He wanted to cry, but Xiao didn't know what it meant to cry, so he didn't, and he just vanished, not even looking at you.

It was the only thing he could do to protect you, right? If he was the cause of your suffering, then he would no longer exist for you. It didn't matter what he did, he didn't even ask himself, he just knew he hurt you. After all, he must already know that this was his destiny.

...

You never called him again, and Xiao never showed up again. Yet, although he endured this condition with the same resignation with which he endured every painful task of him, he realized that the selfish desire he had for you had not ceased. He didn't know how to call it by name, he just knew that it was really selfish, on his part, to expect that a little bird like you at least a little bit remained attached to him.

However, even if you despised him, even if he could no longer hear your voice or your laugh even though you were still breathing, somehow at least he hoped to remain present in your memory.

So every morning a flower was placed on your window sill. He never brought you the same type of flower two consecutive days. He didn't admit it to himself, but he wanted at least in one corner of your mind the whole Liyue to remind you of him. The scent of its flora, its colors and the sweetness of it, he hoped that even if you didn't want those things would make you think of that cruel guardian. Not that Xiao dared compare himself to flowers, no, but certainly those flowers could be compared to you for him.

The Adeptus wasn't good with words, but he was capable of meaningful and powerful gestures - it was something you loved about him.

You didn't need to know that those flowers came from him - even if it was unlikely they were someone else's gifts - and he relied on your kindness to accept them with a smile.

For a while it had worked. Even though he could no longer see you and have you around, that little contact you maintained had given him a sense of peace. In evil it was that little drop of good that gave him the relief he needed.

But he couldn't deserve that either.

One morning, when the first rays of the sun began to paint the earth with the warm colors of dawn, he came to your window. The Glaze Lily he had plucked for you had remained clasped in his hands as his eyes painfully gazed upon the Qingxin he had given you the previous day, left to itself on the windowsill, away from your care.

It was so, even the thought of him you could no longer bear.

The flowers stopped coming and Xiao stopped hoping. He only prayed that Rex Lapis would see your sweetness and cherish it with love, without needing you to endure the protection of a cursed Adeptus.

...

Xiao wanted to see you again, but certainly not right now.

The first thing his mind thought was nothing, then immediately afterwards he wondered which Archon had to thank for not killing you during his battle, and then all that was important was that you were standing in front of him, and looking at him, even if from a distance.

His mask frees his face as soon as his eyes settle on you. How long had he not seen you? For a moment the pain disappears, a wonderful, ephemeral second of peace. And then again the weight of darkness falls upon him.

He should run away, run away from your sight, but like under a spell he is stuck in his place, and you still don't run away.

You are pale and scared, your eyes full of tears. How much have you seen? How long have you been there?

It doesn't matter if the blood that covers him is that of his enemies, of those who want to harm those like you, all that matters is how Xiao now appears before you: a figure disfigured by the red of shattered life, a devouring demon .

He should go, but you call him.

"Xiao ..." His name in your voice is a desperate breath as it is sweet, and you run to meet him in your anguish.

He can't look at you, not when he's like that. He looks at the ground covered in repulsive liquids, without having the courage to meet your judgment. He would have liked to see you again, but now he is ashamed of who he is, he is ashamed of being Alatus, of being the Conqueror of Demons and the Eater of Dreams, he is ashamed of being Xiao before your pure eyes.

Now you are a few steps away, he hears you, but you are afraid to approach. He wonders why you ever even wanted to come close to him again, was it your good heart that pushed you to do it?

"Do you know how it feels to wish for death every day?" He did not want to ask that question, yet he posed it in front of you limpid and clear, as his "no" always are.

If he could die he would no longer distress you, nor would he hurt you, nor would he make you cry. If he could die, all aeons of unspoken pain would disappear. If he couldn't exist, everything would be better. But he can't, he has to live.

"If we are such a heavy burden to you why do you continue to protect us?" Yours is not a nasty question asked, it is rather a sweet worry distorted by insecurity.

His golden eyes return to immerse themselves in yours by instinct, without really wanting to.

"It's my duty, it's my ..." Xiao realizes he can't speak "But you're not ..." he tries again, but he can't.

He can't explain that knot blocking his throat and voice, which he can't spit or swallow.

It is my duty, my contract. But you are not a burden, you will never be.

His eyelids drop again and his head bows in chagrin. You are everything in front of him, and he is nothing in front of you.

"Don't look at me ..." is all he can tell you "You don't have to see me like that."

He was convinced that you didn't want to see him anymore, he was convinced that you wanted to forget him, but then why did your trembling hands rest so lovingly on his face?

"You are so beautiful Xiao." Your broken voice was asking him desperately to believe you, and he in front of your face now so close to him has no way to escape.

The misunderstandings between you two, the pain and the fear, no longer mattered.

Your arms gently encircle his chest and your head rests on his shoulder, without asking for permission, but he won't be the one to walk away, not now that he's found you.

"I'll get you dirty." He murmurs.

"It does not matter." You answer him softly.

You have no respect for the ways of the Adepti, but that is precisely why he needs you.

"Please be happy to live, Xiao."

[enigma-im]

Fifth Day of Christmas...

Trope: Snowed in (NSFW) Relationship: Goliath x Human Word Count: 7,808

Swords clash in a symphony within the Mid-lands woods. The Goliaths have come from the mountains to ambush our camp. We never assumed we wouldn't be safe, especially with winter coming. Who would have guessed the Goliaths would be so bold as to challenge an incoming blizzard just to slaughter a few of us. It's truly too bold, too stupid.

I look out at the cluster of people, the Goliaths standing high. It's clear we have the number advantage, but they have strength. Men and women surround a single giant just to be beaten away with a single blow. It's ridiculous. The cold bites at my lungs as I charge into battle, joining two others attempting to befall the seven-foot man.

Together we swipe and swing at the revolting beast, aiming low in hopes of knocking him down. One soldier gets a jab in as the goliath blocks a blow from another. We both take the chance to cut at the knees. The goliath falls to a kneel, growling in frustration before swinging wide and knocking the other two away. I manage to stumble back into the cold dirt. Attempting to get back to my feet I see the goliath has beaten me to it, standing above the two fallen soldiers with a triumphed sneer. He reels back, aiming for the closest one. With a fatal swoop, he befalls the first one, spilling their blood to the dirt below.

I can't be shocked anymore, the sight an unforgettable one. It's almost numbing now. I quickly stand, gripping my sword in a harsh grip. The goliath reels his arm back for another blow to the woman at his feet. Working on pure adrenaline I launch at him, digging my shoulder into the wound on his side. The goliath cries out, pushing me aside as he cradles the bleeding wound. I don't let him get an edge, doing what I can to get him away from the injured soldier still laying at his feet. Stomping towards him I kick my leg high, digging my booted heel into the cut on the back of his knee. He falls to a kneel once more.

"You petulant worm," he snarls, reaching out for me. I try to step back, failing as he grabs my heel. He drags me towards him, standing to dangle me headfirst above the ground. My sword falls from my grip, hitting the dirt with a soft thud. I can't pay it any mind as this behemoth pulls me higher in the air. Not bothering to think I do the first thing I can. The wound on his side catches my attention. I drag my fist bag, launching it towards his side for a quick jab.

He wails again, dropping me harshly to the floor. My shoulder pops as the dirt gives no resistance. I watch the man stumble, breathing heavily as he clenches his side. Our eyes meet for just a moment, a few flurries dancing between us. I don't take the time to listen to whatever hateful words he wishes to spit my way. I can see the bloodlust and fury in his eyes, I am his sole target now and nothing is going to stop him.

I shuffle off the floor quickly, trying to look for my sword before the man can react. He swings for me, growling like a beast as he does. I stumble back, still having no sight of my sword. At his next attempt at my life, I give up the search. Knowing the losing battle before me I do what a soldier should never do. I run.

Twisting away I book it away from the fight, running through the tree with the cold air stabbing at my lungs. A voice screams 'coward' in my head but my will to live is stronger. I hear mighty footsteps follow me, calling out with grotesque promises. I don't make it far till I'm knocked on my stomach, my shoulder throbbing with the impact and weight. I'm twisted to my back, the man hovering above with a sadistic grin and sneer of pain. I can feel his blood dripping onto my clothes, the only warmth to be found in these woods.

"I have you now," he grabs at my throat," such a poltroon to run from battle." his fingers dig into my neck, choking me easily. I scratch at his arm, pry at his finger, reach for his face. Nothing works, the corners of my eyes darkening. With a last-ditch effort, I writhe and kick, aiming for anything to get some leverage. I don't want to die, please don't let me die here alone.

I kick at his hip, him wincing a bit. With that last bit of focus, I jab the toe of my boot into his side, blessing the fallen soldier for the well-aimed wound. He barks out a cry of pain, his fingers loosening enough for me to take a greedy gulp of biting air. I kick again, screaming a war cry as I push him off. It's a feat in its self to get him off.

I roll onto all fours, breathing hard to get the black dots out of my vision. Coughing while he wheezes, it's the only moment we have. Getting to my feet first I look over to him, he's kneeling by a decline. I take a few wobbly steps towards him, exhausted at this point. He looks up to me, trying to get to his feet with an angry growl. I'm surprised he makes it, walking on equally uneasy legs.

"I'm going to enjoy spilling your blood, little human," he seethes," it has become my right."

"Shut up," I pant.

With the last bit of energy, I have I run to him. I thud against his stomach, grab at his knees, and dig my nails into his still bleeding wound. He falls back, taking me with him. His back takes the brunt of our weight, me being launched off as he tumbles backward. We roll and skip down the steep incline of the hill, hitting every rock, root, and tree to be found. My shoulder aches as do other parts of my body. As my head meets a rather pointed rock do I wish for death.

A groan breaks through my haze. I open my eyes, looking up to trees and fat snowdrops. A few land on my lashes, my eyes flickering shut. I feel like shit. My body is throbbing, my view rather fuzzy, and my fingers numb. Another groan catches my attention, coming from above me. I tilt my head back, looking at the man trying to sit up. I startle at the blue marking curling down his bald head. My stomach lurches as I launch upwards, barely getting to my feet with the small amount of energy I have left. I know once I'm somewhere safe I'll be down for the count.

"Worms, all of you," the man whimpers," bested by a worm, me?" I watch him pathetically try to move. He looks worse than I feel, his side leaking life into the frosty debris below. The wound has grown since I last remember, stretching over his stomach. He tries to sit up, clenching his hands in the dirt, and seething every attempt.

He finally just lays there, looking at me with such disgust. I nearly feel nothing at the sight, just numb to this whole experience. He will die soon, bleeding out or freezing from the elements. I may do just the same, looking to the unclimbable incline and empty woods. Perhaps I could be so lucky to find shelter somewhere, a journey that may cost me much. I sigh.

"retched, the lot of you," he spits," may the gods damn you to the foulest parts of hell. To have your inners stood across miles. Be cursed for what you have done to me today!" it's almost sad to watch him like this. The final words of a dying man.

"Shut up," I look around some more. My best bet is to just start walking, look for some shelter. If the gods could bless me today. I start walking. The man curses and snarls at me, shouting his last bit of distraught like a pathetic animal. I walk on.

It isn't long until I come across a cabin, boarded up for the winter. It's promising. I walk up to the nailed in planks, reaching out to attempt to pry them. My shoulder screams in protest, as I do I. cradling my arm I look to the door. I can't get in. I look to the windows, they too are boarded. This close to shelter and I'm left to perish.

In the distance, I can still hear the shouts of the stubborn man. Surely he was to die by now. I shake my head, admiring his strength even in death. Thinking of a plan I circling the building, finding nothing but stacks of firewood resting against the side.

"Bollocks," I grumble. I'm not strong enough to get in…but someone else might.

I snap my head in the direction of the insolent man. Could he help me get in? no, he is too wounded. But if I treat said wounds, maybe he could be of some use? Would he be strong enough though? I cry out in frustration. It seems it's the only chance I have. Why not spend my last few hours with an enemy?

I hobble back towards the hill, hearing the man before spotting him. He is left exactly where he started. It seems he hasn't tried to make any progress. His head snaps to me, baring his teeth as I near.

"Come to finish me off, human," he barks.

"If I help you, do you think you can pry out some nailed boards before we freeze to death," I ask, not bothering to waste any time. He scoffs, turning away.

"Why should I accept help from you? Do I offer my assistance just for you to stab me in the back the first chance you get," he asks, sounding awfully stupid. I'll let myself think it’s the lack of blood causing his idiotic suggestion.

"Wouldn't you rather take that than dying in the dirt like a forgotten man," I ask, shivering as a breeze flows by.

"I rather die with my honor than betray my kind to help you," he barks a laugh," I'm faithful to my people unlike you, you poltroon scum-."

"Shut up," I interrupt," pride on the shelf, help or don’t?"

He glares at me, fingers clenching and unclenching at his side. The offering was rather nice in my opinion, even if the lack of trust is there. For now, I need him and he needs me, let's not make it more complicated than that.

"Fine," he grunts," if you can help then so will I."

I don't bother with words, collapsing to my knee with a wince beside him. The minimal supplies I have attached to my person is unceremoniously dropped to the ground. I don't bother cleaning his wound, taking a small amount of time to wrap it instead. He groans and whimpers like a child, nearly reaching for me to stop. I ignore him, stuffing wrapped bandages against his side before covering it all with wrapping. I hope the pressure is enough to forgo any more blood loss on the way to the cabin. I just need him strong enough to pull some wood, nothing more.

I'm little to no help getting him off the ground. I try to tug him up with my good arm but the jostling runs to the other anyway. He manages mostly on his own to get up, standing on his own two feet. His hand covers his side and he stumbles onward.

We walk like a bunch of drunks towards the cabin, nearly collapsing as we stop at the door. I watch as he easily pries the boards off the door, ripping them off as easily as ripping paper. With the wood cast aside, he opens the door and walks in. I follow after, annoyed at the equally cold interior.

"I'm going to get a fire started, you can rest for a bit. You have done enough," I say as I rub at my arms. I look around the room, spotting the heath with stacks of wood on the side. Before I can even take a step there I heard a loud thud. I jump, looking towards the goliath in fear. To my surprise he isn't standing, having collapsed on the ground.

I sigh," I thank you for your help but if you die in the middle of the room I'm going to be pissed."

That night was the longest in my life. Nearly getting killed in battle, then nearly dying from exposure, and now trying to start a fire with a broken shoulder. Hauling the wood was a challenge in itself, now trying to spark the flint. I would give anything to be able to roll over and rest but there is still much to be done.

I start a fire, warming myself for a bit before searching around the cabin. Finding a bedroom with blankets and a kitchen with jarred food. I send praise to the gods above. I drag all the linen to the main room, making two cots for the goliath and myself. I don't bother trying to drag him closer to the fire, exhausting all my courtesy towards him. Wrapping him in a blanket after checking his wounds is all I can bother within one night.

With my vision tunneling, I lay down in my cot and take a well-earned rest.

I startle awake the next morning when I catch the Goliath watching me sleep. His gaze is contemplative, to my surprise, but still rather brutish. I stare at him as he stares at me, not sure what his mood is this morning.

"you didn't kill me," he starts bluntly.

"That I did not," I answer.

"Why," he demands.

"it would not have benefitted me," I snuggle further into the warmth of the blanket.

He huffs," didn't think killing your enemy before they get the chance to kill isn't beneficial?"

"depends," I shrug," are you planning on killing me?"

He regards me for a few moments, his jaw ticking," No."

The goliath begins to stand, looking steadier than last night. His blood-soaked shirt is stiff and ripped. He takes a large step towards me, I flinch. Though I reluctantly trust his words, the years of fighting have left much ingrained. The recoil jostles my shoulder, making me bite back a whimper.

"Hurt," he asks, walking around me towards the fire. I can't pay him any mind as I breathe through the pain that has worsened from last night. Rolling onto my back I try all I can to remain still, the throbbing starting anew.

"I asked you a question," the goliath growls.

"Yes," I bark.

He chuckles," good. I'd hate to be the only one." I glare at his back. Slurs begin to roll towards my lips but I hold them back. Though he was near death before, I am in more pain now.

I hear the goliath poking at the fire, throwing another log in before stomping towards me. On reflex, I flinch, wincing again. He crouches down beside me, grabbing at my arm and jerking me upright. I spit out a curse, whimpering like a child. His meaty fingers poke and prod till I'm near tears.

"Stop," I shout. He glares, taking his hands off me.

"it's dislocated," he sneers," it has to be popped back into place." he reaches for me again, I twist away.

"Don't you fucking touch me," I snarl, shuffling farther and farther away from him. He remains kneeling by the cot, scoffing at my departure.

"Fine," he slaps his hands to his thighs," deal with it yourself."

I watch him trot off somewhere out of sight, stomping all the while. His heavy steps echo around the cabin, shaking the walls a bit. I'm impressed he hasn't knocked some of the decorations off the walls. Hell, I'm impressed he can stand up straight without hitting his head. I hear some clanking of glass, telling me of his location. With him out of the room, I breathe easy.

My arm makes me feel useless and I try to keep busy. Sorting out supplies and checking the fire becomes tedious with one arm. I take to looking at the piling snow outside, it already reaching around a foot high. Even without the blizzard out there, I had no intentions of leaving, it seems neither did the goliath as he licks his wounds in the main bedroom. We keep to ourselves most of the day, him coming back as the day grows to night. Even then he remains in the farthest corner from me. Not that I mind, keep the brute away less we break this unsteady truce.

I try to head to the cot, struggling to lay down with every angle hurting my shoulder. I try to bite back whimpers, not letting him get the satisfaction of hearing them. The hardwood is uncomfortable, so much so that I consider going to the bedroom to sleep on the mattress. The threat of freezing keeps me where I am.

I wiggle around enough that the goliath lets out an annoyed sigh," if you would let me pop it into place then you would have a better time getting comfortable."

"Piss off," I grumble.

He huffs again," you humans are too damn stubborn for your own good. I'm sure this war would have been dealt with years ago if your people would stop acting like children."

I scoff under my breath, not falling for the bait. He continues anyway.

"I'm tempted to see how long you'll keep use of your arm. With us snowed in I'm sure you won't last till the sun melts it all. As weak as you all are I'm nearly impressed with your resilience to help. At this point I believe killing you would be a mercy as amputation would get you dropped from service," he rambles on. I never knew goliaths could be so mouthy, saying nothing of importance in a conversation. He grates on my nerves till the pain of hearing him is worse than the pain in my shoulder. His constant insults nearly make me consider taking my chances outside.

As he goes on his next spiel I sit up, glaring at him as I stand. With a stubborn amount of determination, I charge at the nearest wall, slamming my shoulder against it. A loud pop echoes around the room, silencing the annoying goliath. I wheeze against the wall, panting hard as I slide down to the floor. Tears roll down my cheeks as a sob wracks over my body. My whole arm throbs, telling me of my success and idiocrasy.

I look to the goliath, blowing a loose strand of hair out of my face. He looks surprised, then impressed. It's short-lived though as he looks down at the sword he is fiddling with, having found it on the wall.

"It seems humans are stupid above all else," he mumbles. I huff, thunking my head against the wall.

The silence begins to bug me as the days go on. After his baiting, he hasn't said much else. During the day he sticks to the bedroom, coming back to the main room at night. I try to keep busy, running out of things to do besides count rations and look out at the white landscape. The fire has been kept lit all day, our woodpile beginning to run low. I know there is a large stack outside but the idea of going out there chills me to the bone. At some point I'm going to have to, that thought keeps me busy.

We sit in our cots one night, staring off into space.

"Our fire is going to die before the snow melts," he says casually. I lazily look at him, watching him look to the heath. The glow of the fire gives him a beautiful glow, lighting his markings like a painting.

"there's some chopped wood outside," I answer. He nods.

"I'll retrieve some tomorrow morning, give it enough time to dry out," he states.

"no," I glare at him," I'll grab it, you can't be trying to get your giant self through that snow. Besides, you can reopen your cut lifting those logs."

He glares back," like you can do any better with your arm?"

I sit up," I can do better than you getting through the snow. So what I lack in strength I make up in time."

"by the gods woman," he shouts," can you cease your insolence for one day? Your fire is admirable but it will get you killed. You will rest, do I make myself clear?"

His scolding demand boils my blood. Who does he think he is making such commands? I'm not his to push around or control.

"No, you don't. I will go out there with or without your permission because you aren't my father or commander," I shout. I nearly get up to grab the wood that second, my ire demanding action.

"This is the thing with you humans, we try to do something kind and you basically spit in our faces," he slaps his hands on his thigh," there is no more discussion, I will get the wood in the morning."

"No, you-," he interrupts me.

"End of discussion, now go to bed," he scolds. Before I can say anything more, he rolls over in his cot. I want to scream in frustration, feeling like a child at this moment. Reluctantly I roll over and go to bed as well, fuming as I do.

I aim to wake up early, sneaking out before he can wake up. He still rests in his cot as I roll out of mine. I smile in victory as I make my way to the door. Wrapping my blanket around myself I head out to start the mission of carving a path through the snow. As I reach for the handle the door swings open, forcing me back a step.

"Morning," the goliath greets me, holding an armful of wet wood. I scowl up at him, blowing a stray hair out of my face. He snickers, walking past and setting the wood down by the hearth.

"How'd you wake up before me," I throw the blanket down in my cot. He organizes the already large stack of wood, spacing them out to dry faster.

"Your snoring kept me up, I was already awake," he shrugs.

I sulk, dropping back in my bedding with arms crossed. He looks over his shoulder, laughing as he catches sight of my scowl.

Today he actually spends time in the main room, warming up by the fire and checking on the wood. Minimal words are exchanged but still better than before. The reluctant truce feels less reluctant now.

Night falls and the logs still aren't dry. The small amount we have left can barely keep the fire blazing through the night. We both stare at the hearth.

"We can bundle up more," I offer.

"There aren't any more blankets," he says.

"We can lay closer to the fire, that might help," I try. The idea of freezing during the night isn't an ideal one. The small fire could keep us warm, but just barely. We can try to use the wet wood but it risks snuffing out the flame we already have. I can't think of much else to do.

"we're going to have to huddle for warmth," he sighs. I snap my head towards him, confused by the suggestion.

"Huddle for warmth? Like, share a cot," I ask. He nods. "Well, that's definitely out of the question," I shut him down.

"excuse me," he barks," why is that?"

"I'm not going to share a cot with you. Not even a few days ago you tried killing me, cursing my name to the gods in hopes that they will gut me and spread my entrails for miles," I shake my head," so no, I don't trust you."

"so, you trust that I won't kill you in your sleep but sharing a cot is where you draw the line," he asks, a smile curling his lips. I glare up at him, not appreciating his tone.

"It wasn't like I had a choice," I snide back.

He grins," it's not like you have much of a choice now, too."

I squint at him," you're enjoying this aren't you?"

"not at all," he fights back his smile," having to cuddle up next to my enemy isn't the highlight of my week."

"then it's settled," I clap my hands," we don't share a bed and we just risk the chance of freezing. I love it, glad we're on the same page." I stand up to walk away. He snatches my hand, tugging me back to the floor.

"No, not agreed. I can swallow my pride enough to do this and so can you. I'm not so stubborn to put my wants over my needs," he bites back. I glare daggers at him, he gives it right back. The battle of will begin, me debating on the weight of his words. I'd rather share the damn cot and keep warm but the problem is doing it with him. This truce is only here long enough for us to survive then get back to the war. I won't let myself sit here and pretend that we could be friends. No, that's out of the question. Still, we don't have to be friends to survive. I just have to bite my tongue and get on with it.

"fine," I shout," grab your bedding, it's larger than mine."

He jumps up, piling his sheets in his arms before dropping them in front of the fireplace. We sort it all out, layering some on the floor to keep the chill out. I snuggle under the blanket, looking up at him as he removes his shirt.

'Whoa, whoa," I yell," don't do that." he throws the dirty rag away and crawls into bed. His body gives my heart pause. The wound on his side has healed very nicely, looking more healed than I would have figured for only a few days. His stomach is toned, along with his chest. The fire allows shadows to dance over his torso, adding another level of appeal to his massive frame.

"skin to skin is better to keep warm. Don't have to waste time warming up the clothes," he explains, reaching out and tugging at my shirt. I slap him away, feeling more girlish at this moment than at any point in my life.

"No, no, I'll be keeping mine on," I curl my arms against my chest. He snorts, letting me be as he drops beside me. I watch him, still conflicted on letting this go on. Everything is so confusing. The goliath looks… well, attractive, lounging against the bed. His angry features look softer at the moment, almost relaxed. I don't like seeing him this way.

I lay upon the blankets, turning towards the fire. I jump when his hand curls over my stomach and tugs me against his body. He is so warm. It takes a considerable amount of effort to relax, trying my damndest to fall asleep. I close my eyes and try to pretend the warmth coming from my back isn't his.

Sleep eventually tries to take its claim. My mind fading in and out of rest. As I nearly give in I feel something press against my shoulder, foreign words being mumbled near my ear. His hand fists at my shirt, his head nuzzling against mine. I feel him kiss the back of my neck, mumbling more soft words to my back. I gasp at the feeling, my cheeks tingling from more than the fire. He stiffens behind me. Neither of us moves, neither of us makes a sound.

Nothing is said as we both pretend it never happened. Falling off into tense sleep.

The next morning is…awkward. He wakes up before me, jostling me awake as he runs out of the room. I believe he holds up in the bedroom but I can't tell or gain the courage to check. I'm in a flurry of thoughts as the tingle on the back of my neck remembers his lips. Why did he do that? Surely he hates me, or the most tolerates me. His constant disrespect to my species as a whole has shown his true feelings. For fuck sakes, he tried to kill me not even a week ago.

I circle on the thought the whole day, trying to make some sort of sense of the small bout of affection. It isn't till later that I think about my feelings towards him. I don't hate him, that's clear. I just have a bit of distrust for him. The war has been going on for years now, starting over something as trivial as land. It's grown into this hatred that's on sight. I've killed a few of his people and he has killed a few of mine. As is life as a soldier. But is that a factor now? This little bubble we have created seems to have made those rules disappear. He is domineering but kind, loud but sweet. I don't hate him, I just don't trust him.

He doesn't come back in as the night falls, staying in his room. The wood has dried enough to be used, keeping the fire large. I end up going to bed without seeing him that whole day.

The next morning I wake expecting to see him. I actually hope to see him, to get some sort of guidance on what to do around him. I look around the room, not seeing any evidence of him being here. I sigh, a bit sad at the fact he locked himself away. It's weird to be so disturbed at his absents. I ignore it and get on with the day.

The snow outside has begun melting, the sun shining brightly through the trees. It's still a good two feet and dangerous to venture in but the time here is coming to an end soon. As I watch the water drip off the roof, I grow nervous. I'll have to try to head back to my platoon soon, getting back to the war. That thought ruins my day.

The sun sets and the goliath still isn't here. Nearly two days now and I've heard nothing but some stomping around. At least I know he's still alive. I feel antsy now, tossing and turning in my cot. Why is he still avoiding me? It wasn't that bad what happened, is he embarrassed? Maybe I should go break the ice, make some peace before we part ways.

I shuffle out of my cot, wrapping the blanket around myself. Walking further into the house I stop in front of the closed bedroom door. What am I doing? Perhaps it's better to turn back and pretend nothing happened. Pretend that he didn't hold me close and whisper sweet-sounding words. A lapse of judgment happens to us all. I sigh.

Grabbing the knob I open the door. I shuffle into the darkroom, the light of the moon guiding me towards the bed. A figure sits up in the bed, glowing partially in the light. I walk around the bed, crawling in beside him. His large hands grab my hips to tug me closer. All thoughts evade me as I follow his lead. I throw my leg over his hip, straddling his lap. His hand glides up my back, petting over my braid. He digs his fingers into my hair.

"I wante-," he tries to speak. Words aren't important now. Without much thought I quiet him with my lips, taking his for mine. It's his turn to gasp, freezing while I slant my mouth against his. His fingers clench, tugging on my hair, reacting swiftly. His kiss is sweet. It's a warmth I've craved all day. I pet at his chest, touching the cold skin peeking out the tears of his shirt.

"you're cold," I mumble against him. He forces me back, licking at my lips. I trace his tongue with my own.

"you're so warm," he smiles.

His freezing fingers dig under my shirt to send a chill down my spine. I shutter in his hands, relishing in his touch trailing up to my chest. He kisses me as he twists our positions. Slowly, he guides me onto my back as he crawls over me. I don't bother thinking, wanting to focus on his touch.

He removes his shirt while I shove mine off. We smile at one another, leaning back into another kiss. I pull him close, straying off the cold with his heat. His hips slant against mine, grinding hard into my crotch. His hardening cock brings a zap of need to my body, craving more and more.

We can't wait a second more, peeling our pants off and guiding his large cock to my wet heat. I'm almost hesitant in taking him, his length and girth way bigger than I'm comfortable with. When he pecks my cheek I trust him to be gentle. I take his cock with a choked cry, his grunts playing around the quiet room. As he bottoms out we both take in a much-needed breath.

"Varoth," he says suddenly. I look at him bemused.

"What," I ask, grabbing at his arms.

"My name," he smiles," Varoth." I almost laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. This whole time I never knew his name.

I chuckle," It's nice to meet you Varoth, I'm Evelina. You can call me Eve." he grabs my hand, holding my fingers in his palm as he lifts my knuckles to his lips.

"it's a pleasure, Eve," he presses a kiss to my skin. It's silly and sweet, I want to hit him or kiss him.

With our introductions out the way, he begins to pump. His hips slowly undulate, grinding into my hips with every descent. The feeling of him is beautiful, warm, and intoxicating. Part of me realizes the taboo of it all, sleeping with the enemy. Yet, I can't bring myself so care.

He fucks me like he cares, petting along my sides and worshipping every inch of me with his touch. His lips press every space he can reach, sucking and nipping to his heart's content. I can't look away, watching in awe as he lazily pumps his hips and kisses my chest. Not being able to take it any longer I drag him up, meeting his eyes with a smile. My thumb pets at his cheek before I slant my lips against his.

"you're so beautiful," he purrs against my mouth," so strong and determined."

"Yea," I ask, licking his top lip," I thought you hated how determined I was." his hands trail down to my hips, gripping them to buck harder in his next thrust.

"I hated how it pleased me," he groans," everything about you draws me in. That's the only thing I can hate about you." I flutter around him, twitching at his praise. His face clenches up for a moment, showing his blissful torment.

We make love this night, no doubt about it. Our slowly climbing peaks don't need to be rushed as we just enjoy one another. We kiss and bite, mumbling praises to the other as the fire inside stokes to an inferno. I break first, almost startled by the sudden pleasure. I writhe and cry out, clenching around him. He doesn't falter as he watches me fall apart. It's not till I'm laying exhausted in the sheet does he take his own end. His hips clap against mine, taking his fill before spilling in me. He groans long and loud, collapsing atop of me.

Sometime later we lay cuddled in bed. He curls around my back, hugging me at the waist. His arm pillows my head, allowing me to play with his hand. I compare our sizes, amazed at how easily he can fit my hand in his. His large fingers please me, them curling over mine.

"Were you embarrassed about the other night," I ask as I trace the lines of his palm.

He hums," I didn't know you were still awake."

"so you decided to hide in here till the snow melted," I tease. He grabs my hand in his, intertwining out fingers.

"It sounds childish when you say it like that."

"Well, it was," I say. He nips at my shoulder in retort.

"You have a power over me that makes me act like a whelp. I can't help but act a fool when you're near," he pecks my shoulder. I hum, smiling to myself.

We fall asleep in the cold room, keeping each other warm. It's the best sleep I've gotten since we got here. Though my toes feel near frozen and my thighs feel sticky, it's the most restful night.

Come morning I wake to a breeze ghosting over my back. I shiver, rolling over to snuggle into Varoth. Cold is all I'm met with. I stretch my arm out, feeling the empty bed. Confused I bolt upright, looking over the vacant area. I look around the room. His clothes are missing along with him. Perhaps he is already by the fire.

I get dressed and walk out into the main room. The only thing that greets me is a blazing fireplace, even the cots are cleaned up and put away.

"Varoth," I call out.

Nothing.

I search the whole cabin, an unsettling feeling curling in my chest. When I open the front door I get my answer. The snow has melted through the morning, coming to a manageable height. In the snow is footprints leading out and away. My jaw ticks as I slam the door shut.

Guess it's over now.

I pack up my things numbly. The hike through the woods is lonely, not even the birds keep me company. It's well towards sunset when I finally find civilization, a small town a few miles away from the woods. I make contact with the crew stationed here and get back to my life before everything.

The next few weeks feel hollow. Working has lost its appeal, it's passion. I fought for a purpose, to be free of the goliath's anger. To reclaim the lands they stole from us. It was a solid following, but now? Every fight I can't even bother to look at them, seeing the humanity in every single one. What's the point of reclaiming the mountains? Why try to take that away from them when it's all they have?

It's a month later when I resign from the war, dishonorably discharged. I try to live out of the path of the war but it seems there it's not much of an escape. The people still rant and rave about the goliaths. I pick up and leave, making it to a neutral town far away from it all. Starting a new life in a new land.

I make a career for myself as a blacksmith's assistant. The years of hard labor in the service have toughed me up for such back-breaking work. I offer the large orc my help in fetch tasks, at least till I learn enough to be of actual use.

"Eve," the orc grunts," you don't mind heading over to the lumbermill to get me some wood for handles?'

"Of course not," I jump up," anything to not be sitting in this sweltering heat."

The older man laughs, wiping sweat from his brow," you're telling me."

With an objective, I make my way down the village. The small hunting village is home to a melting pot of creatures. It's almost a haven for all. Orcs and dwarves work together along with humans and elves. It's nice living somewhere so accepting.

I make it to the mill at the edge of town. The saw is heard from down the road, the crew already hard at work. I walk around till I spot someone chopping wood in the center of a pile of logs. He is a pasty man, large and strong. I call out to him.

"Excuse me, sir," I shout over the saw. The man launches his ax down again, splitting the log easily. With that done he glances over his shoulder. I almost recoil at the sight, my traitorous heart lurching.

"Evelina," Varoth gawks. His deep gravelly voice nearly calms my nerves. It's nice to see him, at the same time that it isn't. I almost contemplate running.

"Varoth," I growl. He tosses his ax, walking over with his loud steps. His quick movement startles me into taking a step back. He comes to me fast, grabbing at my arms before I can race off. I fight in his hold, angry and frustrated with him. He left and it still stings. I never let myself think about it, labeling the memories as forbidden in my mind. He pulls me flush to his sweaty chest, my feet dangling off the ground. His mouth captures mine in a fierce embrace.

For a moment I can forget my ire, melting into his touch like a lovesick woman. I give myself that few seconds, and only that.

I push him away, shaking out of his arms and falling to the ground before slapping him across the face. He barely flinches, his head staying still.

"You don't get to do that," I stab my finger into his chest," you have no right!"

"I know," he grunts, looking at me with awe. He doesn't look mad or confused, but happy. It plucks at my nerves and my heart.

"Fuck you, Varoth," I spit," you don't get to grab me like that and kiss me as nothing happen. Like you didn't leave me alone in that bed, confused and worried. Do you understand how much it hurt to see your footsteps in the snow that morning? I had to suck it up for weeks, pretend that what happened never happened. I had to fight on like my enemy doesn't look just like you." a frustrated tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe it away and continue, letting out the anger and hate I've hidden for weeks.

"You made me so confused! I knew what I was before we fell off that hill, I knew what I fought for. Then you came and fucked me up, fucked me over. I was left conflicted and scared as I walked back to the life I knew. But it really wasn't the life I knew, it was all wrong. I had to drop everything I used to know and start all over again because you fucking kissed my neck and whispered sweet words. So fuck you, Varoth," I vent," fuck you."

Speaking felt like opening an old wound. I always imagined what would happen if I saw Varoth again. I thought I would just walk by him and pretend that nothing went on between us, to hold my head high and ignore him. I wanted to be better than this, to care as little as he did when he left. I hiccup, snorting back snot. I can't do that. That night meant more to be than him it seems.

I shutter as sobs try to wrack my body, the months finally catching up to me. Varoth tugs me into his arms, petting at my back as I cry. I beat at his chest, wanting to be angry, but all I feel is tired.

"I'm sorry, Eve," he crouches down to his knees, burying his face against my hair," I couldn't stay, we both know that. Saying goodbye would have been too hard for me. I was a coward, and for that I'm sorry." I let him hold me, stealing his comfort as it's what I'm owed.

"You should have said something," I mumble, exhausted, against his shoulder," I felt so used that morning. Like that night meant nothing to you. I could only think that you truly saw me as some low life human to be used and discard."

He recoils at my words, reaching up and cupping my cheeks. His eyes dart between mine, his brow pinched in concern.

"That night meant everything," he says sternly," I am just a coward who couldn't face the consequence of the next day. Do not think any longer that I wanted to use you because that is the biggest lie I can think of."

I can't help but snort in amusement," I guess you're the real poltroon."

He smiles, softening as he speaks," yea, I guess I am."

We stand in the lumberyard just staring at one another, so much left to be said. Yet, all I can think about is kissing those plump pale lips.

"Varoth," I cup his hand against my cheek," why are you here?"

His thumb pets under my eye," I moved here shortly after the snow completely melted. I couldn't fight in a war I no longer believed in."

"I understand that," I nod bitterly," should I be so bold to assume I'm the reason for that change?"

He smiles, leaning down to drop his head against mine," of course you are. Every change I've made since meeting you is your fault." I choke out a laugh, more tears rolling down my cheeks. Nothing stops me from reaching up and kissing his cheek, his nose, his lips. I've missed him. He returns the gesture, making a smile curl up my face as he kisses me everywhere.

"I have yearned for you every day," he kisses my cheek," scolding myself for being such a fool ever since."

I giggle from his attention," you have been known to be an idiot, but I've missed you too."

He stops his kisses, rolling his forehead against mine," do you think I'd be allowed to make up for lost times?"

"I don't know," I look to him with a teasing glint in my eye," you still have to make up for leaving me cold and alone in bed."

"That I do," he shuts his eyes," perhaps spend my whole life making up for that mistake."

It's a long while before we can gain the courage to split apart, making plans to meet up after work. He helps me carry the wood to the blacksmith, catching me up on his life since he found the village. I can't stop the smiling that graces my lips.

I think everything is going to be a-okay.

[miss-smutty]

The Destructive Secret - Chapter 1

A/N- So first of all, extremely mature themes, strictly 18+ only This is my baby, I love it and I'm so excited for it but oh my lord! My poor heart writing this. This is going to be a super angsty series. Since I got the idea I've been desperate to get it written, even though it's going to break my heart. The dynamics of it have been driving me insane because I want the first chapter to have a air of mystery to it but then how do I tag it without giving it away? 😩 So I've purposefully left out names in this chapter so you don't know who's who and all will be revealed in good time. Can you work out what's happening? I'd love to hear your thoughts ❤️

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter destruction.

Word count- 2,197

Warnings- Mature themes, swearing, smut, angst, deceit, lies

18+ only!

Taglist-: @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke

Posted: 25th Feb 2021

"Babe, don't hate me... I have to go out of town for another conference this weekend" The deep confliction you feel everytime you do this to your boyfriend, never gets any easier.

"I don't hate you, we'll make up for it next week. How about a little romantic trip, just the two of us" he says sweetly, making your heart tug, you wish he was a bad guy it would make this a lot easier.

"That sounds like a great plan, I'll make it up to you tonight" you say, distracted by your thoughts.

"Well that sounds... Intriguing. I'll see you tonight babe" he hung up the phone but you kept it to your ear, still deep in thought before finally realising and putting the phone on the desk next to your computer.

You finished typing up the letter you were working on before the phone call, looking back and forth from your phone to the screen of your computer, still distracted by your thoughts. The butterflies in your stomach making you feel sick. You gave in and grabbed your phone, typing out a text quickly.

-I've told him. Pick me up from work at 5.30 Friday - you stop typing to think for a minute, before finishing the text with two kisses - xx

You try to get your head back into work, the neverending pile of deadlines building up on your desk next to you. When your phone vibrates the desk loudly, you look around to make sure no one's watching you before giving in to your curiosity and picking up your phone.

-Great, see you Friday. I can't wait to see you xxx

You try to feel excited but the overwhelming amount of guilt you feel always overrides that. You wish it could be different, that you could've met in a different way. That you could actually thoroughly enjoy the time you have together rather than feeling a deep shamefulness everytime you meet.

You've got yourself into something so deep that you can't think of a way out of it, either way it ends somebody is going to be hurt. In fact, one way or the other, you're all going to be hurt.

                             *******************

"Hey babe, did you have a good day?" Your boyfriend greets you as you walk into the kitchen, filled with the aromas of the food he was cooking for you.

"It was ok, busy. This smells amazing. What you making?" You ask, kissing him on the cheek as he stands over the stove, stirring a pot of delicious smelling liquid.

"I'm just making a sauce for the pasta" he says letting go of his wooden spoon and grabbing you by the hand to spin you around and face him. 

"Did you bring dessert?" He says into your ear, moving your hair to the side and planting kisses down your neck.

"What no, was I supposed to?" You couldn't remember him saying anything about dessert, yet you'd been pretty distracted most of the day.

"I'm sure you said something about making it up to me tonight?" He smirks, pulling you in for a lingering open mouthed kiss.

"Oh, yeah. That kind of dessert" you say, pulling away slightly.

"Are you ok? You seem kinda ... Distracted" he asks, a look of concern on his face as you shuffle though the papers in your bag.

"No, sorry babe. It's just work, I've had a lot on my mind today" you lie, sort of. You had a lot on your mind it just wasn't work related, even though you wish it was.

As you put the papers back into your bag you can feel your phone vibrating. Fuck sake, not now. Becoming flustered you accidentally drop the bag onto the glass table, nearly jumping out of your skin from the loud noise your phone made as it hit the glass. 

You notice your hands shaking as you hold your phone in front of you, cursing yourself under your breath for being so pathetic. Reading the text has your heart beating at an unbelievable pace, making you light headed and dizzy. 

-Can you meet me tonight? I hate this, I hate not being able to see you whenever I like. Please Y/N xxx

You pull out a chair and sit down before you fall down, why do you have to be pulled about in so many different directions? It was so hard leading a double life and keeping your dirty little secret, it literally ate away at your soul. You were a shell of the person you used to be, completely consumed with lies and deceit.

Sleepless nights, tossing and turning caused by guilt and work schedules and then still having to sneak away whenever you could. You lost yourself, trying to keep two people happy while completely forgetting about yourself.

"Babe?" 

"Huh?" You say looking up from your phone, you hadn't realised he'd been speaking to you.

"I said, red or white? He asks, furrowing his brow at you.

"Sorry, what?" You look confused, shaking your head as if to shake the thoughts right out of there. You have no idea what he's talking about.

"Wine? Foods ready. Do you want red or white... wine?" Looking more concerned.

"Oh, white please. Thank you, this looks amazing" you say, putting your phone into your shirt pocket and tucking your chair under the table, ready to get started. It really did look amazing, you don't deserve him. 

You watched him sit down opposite you, his ridiculously blue eyes catching yours as his fork passes to his lips. He smiles that sweet smile at you, the one that made you fall in love with him all those years ago. The memories of the years flash in front of your eyes in an instant, the first time he told you he loved you, the first kiss, the first time you made love, beautiful, beautiful memories. You can feel a tear prickling at the corner of your eye, lowering your head, hoping he didn't see. 

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asks, reaching across the table to hold your hand in his. The feel of his touch on your hand sends shivers down your spine and the tears spill from your eyes without warning. You hear his chair screech as he pushes it backwards and rushes to your side.

"Babe, please tell me what's wrong?" He kneels In front of you while you rest your head in your hands, completely overwhelmed with guilt. This poor man, my man, how could I do this to him?

"Don't be nice to me, I don't deserve it" you say, self-loathing.

"What are you talking about? Come here" he pulls you up and sits down with you on his lap, lifting your face to look at him which makes you cry even more. 

"I've been so distant with you, so consumed in my damn work that I've been totally neglecting you - " you cry, looking up at him sincerely, tears streaming down your face messily " - I'm so sorry" if only he knew how sorry you actually were. You loved him, he was your first everything, which makes it even harder for you.

"Hey don't be so silly. I'm a big boy, I think I can handle you being a little distracted, it just means when we do get time together it's more special. You've put up with so much from me, with the tabloids and papparzzi. You took it all on when we were still so young and never complained once, this is nothing compared to that" he wipes the tears away from your cheeks. Oh baby, please don't blame yourself.

"I would do it all over again, you know? It was worth it, I'd never change it. You're my childhood sweetheart, we've grown up together and I... I" you're balling like a baby now.

"Shh, baby. Please don't worry about it. You need a break, you've been working way too hard" if only he knew.

He nudges the side of your face with his soft bearded cheek until you give in and look up at him. The tears are also starting to well in his eyes and he smiles at you, at how silly and emotional you're both being. You suck it up and wipe the tears away with your arm.

"Come on, I've got some making up to do" you say, leading him to the bedroom. Your phone begins to vibrate in your pocket - an incoming call. You reach in and hold down the off button, you'll deal with that later.

He stops you before you make it to the bedroom and pushes you hastily against the wall, unable to wait much longer. His hands feel their way down your body until he reaches the hem of your skirt and pushes it up to your stomach, revealing your lacey panties. Your breath hitches as he pushes himself against you, the feel of his hard cock against your exposed panties makes you forget everything else for a moment. 

"I love you so fucking much" he says against your lips, biting gently on your bottom one while his hands run up and down your body. You reach down to unbutton his jeans, it's all very rushed and desperate, you need to feel each other, feel the love you have for each other. You need to show him, a painful desire that burns in your chest to show him that you love him.

So you push him backwards towards the bedroom door, your hands still working his jeans as your lips lock, never pulling apart.

Shoving him slightly too hard back onto your super-king bed in the middle of the room, you waste no time straddling him. He reaches up to unbutton your shirt, thrusting into you as he does so, the need so bad it hurt. You stopped his fingers fiddling with your button midway down your torso so you could pull off his jeans and boxers, while he props himself up on the bed with his elbows. Watching intently as you take control.

You kneel between his thighs, smoothing your hands down those thick muscles. Waiting for him to position himself at the end of the bed, making sure he has a good view before you run your pierced tongue up the shaft, all the way to the tip. Teasing him, knowing full well how it makes him feel. The ways his head falls back, his mouth hung open and the sounds falling from his lips, stir something deep inside you. It makes you feel hot to know you're turning him on this much.

Circling your pointy tongue around the tip, a sultry stare straight into his eyes makes him groan. You take his tip into your mouth, swallowing the drop of precum, licking your lips for him. Sucking on his cock, feeling it throbbing in your mouth, growing impossibly harder.

You can tell he can't handle it anymore when he pulls you onto him so you're sitting on his cock, your walls stretching around him making you both suck in air at the sensitivity. He leans back up to finish unbuttoning your shirt while thrusting his big cock, deep within you. Finally getting your shirt off, he grips his fingers into your ass cheeks, squeezing them as he sits up. Bouncing up and down on his dick, while you stare into each others eyes, the intimacy overwhelming you. Lost in the moment for a precious amount of time, feeling the sensation of your loves cock filling you up beyond limits.

You pull his shirt over his head, revealing his beautifully, tanned body. Holding on tightly to you while he pushes himself up the bed so he can lean his back against the headboard. Watching your tits move as you bounce on his cock, thrusting into you with his jaw clenched. You know that look, the way he's desperately trying not to come too quickly.

Both of your breathes are getting faster as you bounce harder, the gripping sensation rises through you.

"I love you" you say between breaths, leaning down to say it into his ear. 

"Fuck - " he groans, pulling out of you quickly before he come, your rising orgasm fading away. 

" - fuck Sorry, babe. That was too fucking much" He rolls you over underneath him and quickly positions himself back at your entrance, easing in painfully slowly.

Now thrusting into you at an unforgivable pace, making you gasp everytime he slammed into you. Pushing your knees back towards your face and settling himself between them, holding your head with both hands and gazing into your eyes. He's ready, you're ready, you can feel it rising as he rolls his hips into you. The look of love in his eyes making you feel emotional, he's panting and you're moaning as he lets go and pumps into you making you lose it and scream out as you gush everywhere. Holding onto the sheets, tightly, as you wait for your toes to uncurl, still inside of you he lays on your stomach trying to catch his breath. Your muscles cramp up and shake making you wince as you try to move out from underneath him

"Are you ok?" His head snaps up, concerned.

"Yeah, just cramp" you whine, stretching out your legs when he rolls to your side.

"I really do love you" you say moving into his arms.

"I know you do. I love you too" he says kissing the top of your head. You're brought back to reality when you hear your phone vibrating again on the floor, in the pocket of your shirt. 

"You're popular tonight" he says noticing the sound of your phone as it vibrates the floorboards.

"It's just work, it can wait until tomorrow" you say, content being in his arms for a little longer and forgetting that anything or anyone else exists. Even if it is only for a moment.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

The Tigress of Wrath and the Golden Dragon ~ Yin Zhen x Reader

This is a little fic in which the reader is a girl whose father is an important War General for the Emperor Kangxi, and since he has no sons, and the girl shows great aptitude in fighting and strategic thinking, he chooses to present her to the Emperor and requests to treat her as a man and use her skills accordingly.

When she was a child, she got along well enough with the 3rd and 4th Princes ( Yin Zhi and Yin Zhen accordingly ) yet, due to her more tomboyish personality, and the legend of a Tigress Warrior, they nicknamed her "The Tigress" both as a nickname, and a teasing too, as she seemed to be terrible at being feminine as well, as we know how life was like in the 17th-18th century.

Just like the 14th Prince, she was then taken by her father to train in martial arts and returned to the Palace many years later, when she was of age, and to prove herself, she has to go through some challenges…

---

"Father...? Do you think...Those two will remember me? It's been so long, and I've changed so much and...I don't know." the girl asked her father awkwardly, as they walked casually towards the Hall of Mental Cultivation, the place where the Emperor would talk to the people requesting an audience, and solve paper businesses. "Y/N, dear, you may be scared that they won't recognise you, sure, but remember that you are about the same age, and if you've changed so much, imagine that you may not recognise them either. You know very well men change quite a lot when they grow. You were taller than them when you were a little munchkin, but now, I'm sure they will be towering over you." her father chuckled, seeing the horrified look on her face, only to pat her head reassuringly. "That's...So not cool...I'm sure that, with my eternal luck, I'm going to pass by them, and not realise who it is...Ah, father, look at that boy over there, in the red outfit! Do you think it's one of them? Yin Zhi used to like red, that much I remember! Ha, and he didn't grow up too much, I'm sure he's around my height!" the girl grinned triumphantly, her chin held high, which made her father laugh even more mirthfully. "Why don't you go ask him, then? Who knows, you may just be right!" he encouraged her, and with a smile on her face, she ran up to the boy with no inhibition whatsoever, convinced she was talking to her old friend.

"Hello! Sorry to bother, but are you, per chance, the 3rd Prince? I haven't been in the palace since I was very little, so I'm trying to find my friends." she asked the boy in the most carefree manner possible, only to have him chuckle at her and shake his head. "You're about 11 princes down the line, sorry to disappoint you, miss. I'm the 14th Prince, although, I have to say, I'm rather surprised to hear that my brother actually had friends. He's not the most sociable, as far as I'm concerned, but I'll give you a little tip on where to find him. Both him and the 4th Prince are busy devising some kind of plan or something with our Father, the Emperor, so that's the safest bet if you want to find him." the boy explained, as the cricket in his little cage made a cute, almost happy noise of confirmation. "...Yin Zhen is there too...? Oh boy, that's very exciting...Well, thank you for the information, Prince, I appreciate the help. See you around." she bowed quickly to him, in a manly mannerism, which confused the boy garbed in red, yet didn't quite question anything, as she bolted off to her father's side, quickly telling him what she found out.

And so, they arrived in front of the doors, and the Eunuch announced their arrival, allowing them to step inside and kowtow to the floor to greet the Eye of Heaven.

"May the Emperor live eternally." the two chanted in unison as they bowed down in reverence. "General Nian, I pray you have arrived safely. And I see you've finally brought your daughter with you as well. Just as expected, she grew up a real beauty, just like her mother."the Emperor smiled at them, as they nodded their heads as a thank you. "Your Majesty is kind and benevolent above all, yet I dare not receive just praise." the girl raised her sight so she could look at the old man, feeling awkward, yet unstoppable. "A humble one she is, General, you've raised her well. As I see it, she is of age. Are you here to request a good marriage for her? Perhaps with one of my sons?" the Emperor asked, earning a silent yet startled gulp from the girl. "Your Majesty, I dare not. My daughter, bless her soul, is not the most feminine one, yet, since she left the palace, she showed incredible aptitude in martial arts and fighting, and her teachers deemed her intelligence above average. While she is hopeless with a needle, I can proudly say that she can stab with a sword infinitely better than many of our soldiers. If you may have it in your heart to forgive such an obvious stray-away from our usual traditions, please consider using her skills, for she learnt a great deal and she wants to serve our country and the Emperor with her very brain and life.” her father pleaded, and it seemed like the Emperor was actually considering this move. “Very well, I understand your wish, and it makes sense, however, you will have to prove yourself in front of everyone. There are prejudices everywhere, and close to nobody believes in the resurrection of someone like Princess Pingyang or Lin Siniang. Should you prove them wrong, I shall grant you the title of Apprentice Detective. I believe you remember my sons here, the 3rd and 4th Princes – They, too, were here to volunteer to help solve a case in a province away from the palace, and you may join them.” The Emperor explained, making both the father and the daughter bow gratefully. “Your Majesty is kind and benevolent above all. I shall prove I am worthy of this position and make you and my father proud.” She spoke, and thus, the Emperor raised. “Today, you may rest, as you have come here from a long and tiresome journey, yet tomorrow, you shall be fighting the soldiers in training at the Academy, and depending on your performance, I shall make a decision.” Was the last thing the old man spoke, and then, he dismissed the young ones, as he wished to talk about the situation of the Army in the North-East province.

And so, the Eunuch guided them outside and guided her to the Palace of Everlasting Wisdom, which was awfully fitting for her, but she thought nothing of it, instead, quickly befriended the maids and had them tell her anything of relevance about life in the Palace.

But…Those two Princes…The Emperor said they were her old friends…But they were so grown up and looked so sharp and mature! How could that have happened? She still looks soft and youthful, while they look like hardened adults! How is that fair in any way? Not to mention…They’d be working together? On a journey, away from the palace? That’s insane! So exciting! …Hopefully.

That night, she slept like a baby, both eager and anxious for the next day’s challenge, whatever that may be…After all, she MUST get everyone’s respect, should she wish to have a nice life in the palace and not be constantly pressured into marriage or into becoming a concubine.

Y/N dressed in a nice, light blue dress, like those worn during the reign of the Empress Wu Zetian, since she found those kinds of outfits the best for martial arts, and styled the top of her hair in a simple bun tied in a blue ribbon, letting the lower part sway with the wind. Taking her sword in her hands, she unsheathed half of it, seeing the reflection of her beautiful eyes in it, and grinning, to hype herself up, she slammed the sword back and put it at her waist, rushing to the fighting area.

In the middle of the court, she bowed to the Emperor, who was there to watch the show, yet her gaze was nowhere close to him, but her eyes caught Yin Zhen’s ebony eyes watching her, and she could only smirk, very smug and proud of herself.

As she kneeled like a warrior in front of the Emperor, her eyes averted to His Majesty, as he started explaining what she had to do, as a few boys who must have been fresh out of the Academy, went on either side of her, in perfect sync, 3 on each side, 4 meters apart from her.

“I am aware that one must carry a sword to protect themselves and their allies, yet today, you must show that you are capable of doing so without using your blade in such a manner. Discipline, strategy, reflexes, wit and martial arts shall be what you will be tested on today. You may begin.” As he rose from his throne, he extended his hand up in the air, then abruptly let it fall to his side, as if to highlight the beginning of an entertaining show.

As soon as the loud “BEGIN” was heard from the echoing voice of His Majesty, the girl quickly made a few backward tumbles in a way to get out of the men’s way of harm, then got in a fighting stance, ready to take everyone out. The first 3 were easy to defeat, and ultimately, she grabbed the 2nd one’s arm and swung him around, kicking him into the 3rd, making the three of them fall to the ground – But then she got ambushed by the last three, and as she felt herself get grabbed by the light jacket over her blouse, she quickly twirled around, letting the attacker remain with the jacket in his hands, while she dropped to the ground, sweeping her leg over his own, making him fall to the ground. As she finished the 4th, she twirled around again, kicking the 5th in the jaw, then taking out the ribbon from her hair and choking the last one standing, and thus, she was standing tall surrounded by a pile of beaten up men who stood no chance.

However, no day is short of surprises, as she notices Yin Zhen’s sword get unsheathed and him walking towards her with an amused smirk, and she could only tsk in annoyance – This game of proving the others wrong seemed rather unfair all of a sudden – Going against a sword barehanded? Not exactly wise, she reckoned – And thus, she took out her own sword from her waist, extending it for the Prince to see.

“I believe what you are doing will go against the rules set by the Emperor, Y/N. Are you willing to point a sword towards the Crown Prince?” the 4th Prince chuckled very amused, but now, it was the girl’s turn to grin. “Who said anything about a sword? The Emperor told me not to use a blade, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m merely using its scabbard, correct?” she continued parrying the Prince’s swings with perfect accuracy, but she knew he wasn’t actually going full strength on her, she could feel it in the force behind each strike. “I’m not sure if I should be offended that you’re not taking me seriously in this fight, or if I should be concerned about the gold possibly getting whisked away.” She laughed merrily as they continued to dance the waltz of swords, each strike going harder and harder. “If it does, I will make sure the Imperial Blacksmith forges a much better sword for you, and the scabbard will be embellished fit for an Empress.” Their weapons were crossed while their faces were so close to each other that they could almost feel each other’s breaths, and their words, merely above a whisper, needn’t be any louder, for their conversation was meant to be intimate and away from anyone’s ears. “I’d be much happier if it was fit for a Prince.” She laughed in his face, ready to prepare for another strike, but somehow, the Prince’s hit made the scabbard fall off and rotate far away from their positions, looking at them as if mocking. “How rude and unfair of you, Princeling! How am I supposed to fight you now that I can only use the sword’s handle?” she shook her head in mock annoyance, as he sheathed his sword and stepped in front of her. “I win.” He spoke in a simple, teasing manner, flicking her forehead – An endearing and affectionate habit he used to do only to her when they were young and would sneak out of the palace to play around in the Plum garden. “You win nothing, Yin Zhen.” She scoffed, only to notice a glint of silver sparkling in the Sun, and realizing what it was, she jumped, twirling the sword around to pick it up by the blade’s edge, and stepping on his chest, she propelled herself in the air, hitting away a flying arrow sent into the Emperor’s direction. “…Was that planned too?” she asked, not even noticing the running blood coming from her hand. “No, it wasn’t. Father, are you alright?” the Prince ran to his father’s side, while the girl looked back in the direction from which the arrow was sent flying. “The five of you, don’t move! Guards, keep them still!” commanding the royal guards who obeyed her orders, she examined each of the protesting men who either cried out their innocence, or hollered it out. “You were the one who sent the arrow flying. You have a horizontal line across the middle of your fingers, which means you didn’t use a bow, since it would have attracted attention, but instead, most likely, a mini crossbow that many assassins use – Which makes sense, considering how the arrow is about half the size of a normal one. And the two of you are accomplices. You have the crossbow under your clothes – You’re not actually fat, you just stuffed your clothes to appear so, and you provided the arrows, there is a fragment of a coloured feather part which is used for arrows to fly properly.” She explained with ease, which made the Emperor and the other Princes gather around behind her, listening to her reasonings. “Yes, very well, that does make sense. Yin Zhen, Yin Zhi, what do you make of this situation?” the old man looked at his two Princes, who seemed to ponder the situation over, but came up with no other solution by the end of their brief investigation. “It seems to me Miss Y/N came up with the right solution, Father.” The 3rd Prince answered quickly, not wanting to stay there more than needed, but also being rather intrigued by what was happening. It wasn’t often that a court case would find itself before their very eyes so easily. “Very well, very well indeed.” The Emperor nodded in agreement, stroking his beard. “Father, if I may – I wish to express my opinion on Y/N’s

arrival here, at the Palace. I believe she will be the perfect Detective Constable. She expressed skills in combat, intelligence, tactics, wit and charm – I believe men will find it easier to confess to her, should they be found in a precarious situation. It will prove to be very useful in our mission in the Jiangnan province.” Yin Zhen’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and spoke without realizing. “Jiangnan? That’s pretty close to Hunan, where I spent most of my time. I heard it’s a rather interesting and developed city. What’s the problem there?” she asked, and it was then that the Emperor truly decided to assign her the case. “There has been a string of rather bizarre murders, Young Detective, and I would like you and my sons to go investigate and put a stop to the injustice taking place. You will be on the road tomorrow, these two will show you the book with the written statements about each singular crime that took place. Rest assured, I will inform your father of your departure, and later tonight you will be provided with the imperial token and any weapon you may be in need of.” The Emperor told his scribe to write the declared Royal Decree and had his personal eunuch give her the Imperial Token that will ensure her access to any place or information that she may otherwise have difficulty reaching. “Your Highness is kind and benevolent above all. May Your Majesty live eternally.” Young Y/N kowtowed in front of the old man, who chuckled and patted her head before leaving the place, and with him, the rest of the crowd…Sans the two eldest princes. “I thought tigresses would grow with time, not regress so much. How amusing.” Yin Zhi chuckled, making light of the height difference that was now reversed. “It’s not my fault I was born in the wrong body, is it now? No matter now, I can accomplish the same things with no difficulty or impediment. A tigress will forever be a tigress, be it a cub or a celestial one.” She smirked at the older prince, who could only scoff and walk away. “Great seeing you again, Y/N. As annoying as always.” He grumbled, leaving his brother alone with her. “It may be my imagination alone, but I believe he became grumpier than ever – Correct me if I’m wrong, though.”Y/N shook her head in disbelief, only to get her forehead flicked once again. “And you are as reckless and airheaded as always. If I don’t take care of you, you’ll die before you realise. The Palace life is a harsh one, especially for a woman, be it one in the harem, or merely one with ties to anyone from the Imperial family. Don’t be foolish thinking you are exempt from harm.” Yin Zhen warned her with a sharp and serious tone – She almost couldn’t recognize him, remembering how much of an air head HE used to be, and she had to scold him every time he’d get hurt by being careless and falling down a tree, or falling in the lake. “You don’t have a fever, do you, Yin Zhen? I don’t recognize you! Since when have our roles been reversed, anyway? Besides, what’s the harm done to me, considering I could prevent any from coming to you and your Imperial Father?” Y/N shrugged simply, before getting her hand taken in his and realizing his concern – Her hand was actually slashed and bleeding from when she held her blade tightly in her hand to deflect the stray arrow ready to claim an important life. “You, dummy. Good thing I learnt from the Tigress how to take care of my cub, otherwise, this little kitten would have been much tamer in the future…And that wouldn’t be fun, would it?” The prince took a handkerchief from his pocket and held it tight against the wound, waiting like that until it stopped bleeding altogether. “Marigold ointment will take care of it. Hopefully, no scars either.” She muttered, looking down at her hand with resentment at the idea of scarring. “Even if it does scar, it won’t take away your beauty and worth in this world.” This comment – so charming, spoken in such a suave way, as he drew closer to her – Made her heart beat like never before, and she was sure her face must show the warmth she felt. “I

didn’t realise you’d become such a smooth talker. Little Yin Zhen sure grew a lot since we’ve last seen each other. Undoubtly, you must have a lot of ladies swooning over you. Ladies with skin as smooth and pale as milk, that is. You don’t have to make me feel better, I am aware of this society’s beauty standards, and how people look down on women with scars. But thank you. I will be going now. Make sure you are well rested for tomorrow’s journey…It will be a long one.” With a small smile, Y/N drew back her hand, taking the handkerchief with her as well – She couldn’t possibly return it all bloody, right? – And went back to her assigned palace, not giving the prince any chance to speak back or refute in any way. How could he possibly find the woman he’s been pining over for so many years – In any way, shape or form – Disgusting, just because of some scar? He knew – It was true – He knew how people were…But not him, and not when it came to her. For so many years since she’s been gone from his arms, he’s been thinking of her and her alone. He wasn’t like his elder brother, so dissolute and indulging in his own pleasures, as far away from the Imperial family as possible, while also ensuring his favouring to their father…But He was different. Yin Zhen WAS going to be the next Emperor, and he WAS going to marry Y/N, no matter what. He just got her back…No way in hell was he going to let her go again.

When he saw her again, he couldn’t believe his eyes – She grew up so much, she looked so beautiful, like a woman – It was only now that he saw her with different eyes, it wasn’t just the old fondness from their childhood…But now, his heart was beating faster looking upon her face.

Stars were twinkling brighter in her eyes, than on the bright sky of Summer, her gorgeous visage rivaling even the Moon Goddess Chang’e – And she was as stubborn and nonconformist as always, wearing dresses from so far back – The Tang dynasty, ages ago – And they suited her so well, he was mesmerized watching the loose fabric fly around her so graciously as she spun around so gracefully, swinging her sword and taking down her enemies with perfect precision and stance…

And her expression…Gods, her expression…

It reminded him of his own.

She oftentimes looked to be ruthless, stoic, sharp and unforgiving…And yet, every so often, when not surrounded by people, he would see her eyes soften to the littlest of things, be it a beautiful flower, or a cute puppy yapping at her, wanting to be petted and played with.

He saw her that night – She couldn’t sleep, perhaps? Or maybe it was the night coming faster, awakening the lovely moon, in her honour – She saw her next to the lotus pond, bathing in the silver light of the Deity, as her finger so gracefully glided over the strings of the zither that she played with such nostalgia, that he felt his own heart weep.

Why was she so sorrowful, he wondered. No person who lacks a certain degree of a broken heart would be able to play with such vibrating emotions the instrument that holds the soul of the player, and of the listener. The fourth prince felt connected to her – A heart to heart and soul to soul connection – Solely through the sounds coming from every pinch of the strings…

He knew he would never again feel something so powerful with anyone else. It was his mother who once told him so many tales of heroes saving princesses and falling in love, and yet, those stories never explained in such detail what either of them felt. It was clear to him now that those authors were never actually in love to begin with. God forbid men feel or act with any vulnerability towards the woman they vow to protect and cherish for the rest of their days.

He wanted – Oh, how much he needed – To go to her, to accompany her melody by playing the flute, for those songs are meant to be played together, as a couple, in perfect harmony – And yet, he was afraid that, as soon as he’d approach her, the little tigress would flee from him. He was aware of how frail and afraid she was of admitting she held a more romantic side, and yet, this very fear of her was what was causing her so much distress, even if she was aware of it or not.

Perhaps, this woman wasn’t just a tigress, but a fawn as well, choosing which side of her to show to the world, depending on what her heart and mind dictated…In a world ruled by men, being a deer would only get you to become dinner, so play the role of a fiery tigress and make everyone flee in fear.

It was the perfect strategy, clearly, and yet…

Yin Zhen never showed fear.

“I never imagined my first case would involve something so complex.” Y/N spoke, almost without realizing, as she went over the case file once again, bouncing absent-minded in the horse saddle. “We immediately sent word to the constables in Jiangnan so they won’t touch the body more than needed. Congratulations, your first case will have you look at something gruesome.”Yin Zhi mocked her, and yet, he was shocked hearing her laugh lightly. “That’s gonna be fun!” she grinned, trying to imagine the way she’d find the bodies and whether she’d be able to make heads or tails of everything. “I hope all three of the bodies will be left in perfect shape, otherwise it would be such a pity, don’t you think?” she mused, a confident kitten-like smile creeping on her face. “Any man who hears you speak with so much glee about dead bodies will flee for you. I’d be more careful about what I’d say out loud before it’s too late and I end up all alone, old and ugly.”The 3rd prince’s comment made his younger brother frown in anger, shooting him a warning look. He didn’t want the girl to become even more sorrowful than she already was. Not being the stereotypical feminine woman wasn’t as popular now as it was hundreds of years ago, when the bravest women were, in the end, praised and beloved by everyone, going down in history, tales of their bravery being sung at events all over the country. “Then…Think I’ll find a pretty woman? If I can’t find a man to love me, protect me and cherish me, like in those nice stories our mothers told us when we were young, then might as well become the warrior seeking a beautiful, young maiden who would willingly sooth my soul and tend to my wounds. Doesn’t sound half-bad, does it? Women are very beautiful, maybe I can find the appeal a man feels when seeing one, if I imagine it long enough.” She chuckled carefree, but the prince knew that, deep down, she was used to such harsh comments being made about her, and in her heart, she held no hope of a future with someone by her side. “As if that would happen.” The prince scoffed at her breeze-like comment, only for her to laugh at him, tauntingly. “What is it, Zhi Zhi? Afraid I’m going to be more popular with the ladies than you? With how rude you are, I think it’s safe to say I would win, if that were the case.” A tigress, a fawn…And a smirking fox. Yin Zhen wondered whether he would come to discover more spirit animals residing inside her heart – He was fascinated, and also, satisfied with how she turned around to taunt back his brother with such perfect ease, that it angered the elder one. “We shall see…” oh, look at that, the 3rd Prince actually took that as a competition starter – How very serious of him! “Enough bickering, you two, we have arrived.” The 4th Prince scolded those two as they trotted inside the city of Jiangnan, admiring the provincial beauty and simplicity of the place, until they were greeted by the main constable of the place, who guided them to their quarters, offering them information about each case, only for then guide them to each of them, in the order they were done.

“Good golly, I never would have imagined a human could end up so fat!” the girl exclaimed, her jaw dropped in horror at the mountain of a man that sat in front of a table, his upper body engulfing the wooden furniture with the layers of fat as he was hovering over it entirely. “Be more respectful of the dead, Y/N…”Yin Zhen sighed softly as he went ahead to look around the room. “I’ll wait for you outside.” The constable muttered, doing as he told.

The girl then put a veil on her face to cover the bottom half of it, protecting herself as much as possible from the possible diseases and, most of all, from the stench of rotten food and flesh. With help from the two imperial brothers, she had the corpse lay on the floor completely, so she could perform an autopsy and see the cause of death – Not only a failing heart, as it was completely engulfed with a scary amount of fat, but…His stomach was burst open, and a concoction of digested and undigested food was disgustingly splayed all around his entrails.

Clearly, he ate himself to death, and yet, she wondered how come the constable didn’t deem this simply a heart failure, considering his appearance? Perhaps signs of forced entry would explain everything – But why would this one be killed in such a way? Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to have such a glutton starve to death? P’haps, even more…Cruel?

Maybe it wasn’t a hate-crime after all, but a way to teach this one that gluttony wasn’t, in fact, good…A twisted way to teach someone a lesson – Don’t steal away the starving people’s food - Y/N realized that, what he may eat at one meal, would be something she’d need for a whole week, and the thought of it had her stifle her chuckle at the irony.

Glutton…Gluttony…Interesting concept. Truth be told, she never met anyone so unhealthily, so morbidly obese – Especially for food was scarce in many provinces, and while there was abundance at the Palace, not even there, did she see anything more than slightly chubby.

Perhaps people who stood out with their wrong-doings were to be eliminated. This one was already an outcast from the rest of the citizens of this place, nobody would miss him, so he was a fair kill.

“Did you find anything relevant around the room?” she asked as she got up and went to wash her hands from the disgusting body juices she had to dig into. “No signs of forced entry, however, the culprit was definitely sitting in the chair opposite of him. What did you find from the body?” the younger brother asked as they all left the room. “Mr. Constable, have you seen anything out of the ordinary in this city lately? A new person, an event, uhm…People acting weirdly, or I don’t know, anything that would stand out from the usual.”She asked, not yet answering the prince. “Nothing that I would think from the top of my head, no…Things have been normal for the past weeks…Until these tragedies started happening, so quickly, one after the other…” country constables really are useless, the girl realized, as she merely smiled at him and put her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll bring justice to the victims and this city. Until then, stay vigilant and tell us should you find out anything new.” Saying that, she decided to go on ahead to the next victim’s house, letting the running thoughts take over her mind.

Hurrying down the busy streets of Jiangnan, they found their way to the second house of the day – Once again, no signs of a forced entry – Yet this body was different. This man was built normally, so the chances of an accidental death due to natural causes was out of question. He was sprawled over his bed, his clothes dyed with his own crimson blood, his hands and feet impaled with golden ornaments, as melted gold was poured over his face, melting it, and in turn, killing him in such a gruesome way…And piles of golden ingots, silver taels and jewellery were piling over the rest of his body, almost suffocating him.

There was nothing to dissect here, the cause of death was obvious, so the last thing to wonder about was the reason for this atrocity.

So much wealth put everywhere on display…If this was the same person, then maybe…The lesson they wanted to teach this man was humility? Or…Altruism? Temperance? To give away his wealth to those less fortunate?

Perhaps this culprit thought he was trying to protect his city from these people who may taint it. Those who are too…Greedy…

Gluttony…Now Greed…

I wonder what the next lesson taught will be – Y/N thought to herself as she searched around the bed, throwing away all the riches from it, then finding a small, yet fat book that held stray specks of gold on its cover.

‘Bible’ it was called.

“I found one like this at the fat guy’s house, on the table. It certainly is the same killer, then.” Yin Zhi said, taking out the food-stained book from under his clothes. “…I’m onto something. Let’s go to the next one.” Y/N muttered, slamming open the door and bursting through it, going to the 3rd house.

This one, instead of being piled up with the obvious signs of their addictions, it was…Empty? Completely empty?

The victim was laid on the ground, on what looked like a comfortable bed with a pillow, but upon closer inspection, the person was heavily malnourished, looking like a rotting corpse, with its skin barely there anymore, and…

Hold up…

The corpse…Has a pulse…?

As Y/N touched her fingers to the veins on its neck, the corpse’s eyes shot open – They were blood shot, desperate, in complete agony - The girl let out a startled yelp as she fell back on the ground as she watched the…Victim’s chest heave up and down, a guttural scream let out as…The sown-together lips were torn open to allow the man to yell out his pain.

“What do we do?!” Y/N looked back and forth to the brothers, as Yin Zhen knelt and quickly slit his throat, making him go quiet. “Any complaints?” he muttered, watching the girl quickly shake her head. “What the hell was that…? Didn’t the constable say he was definitely dead? That means no pulse, no heartbeat, no vital function…Nothing! This wasn’t nothing!” putting her hand to her chest to calm down her breathing. “Someone wanted us to see him in this state. To act as a warning to us. They knew the constable here was good for nothing, and the culprit wanted to scare us away from this city. Too bad this won’t have the effect he so desired.” Yin Zhen scoffed as he brought his hand under the pillow, finding another book with the same name. “What a sadist…Whoever the killer is…Is sick. Very sick.” But…Why was this one killed? He was humble enough not to lavish himself in riches, not wasting food, or objects…Maybe his behaviour to other people was bad? Maybe he was a jerk? “Any idea about this one?” the 4thprince asked, as the girl shook her head. “No…This time, no idea. Let’s go out, I have to think.” She muttered, going out of the house, looking up at the bright sky and watching the fluffy clouds go by which way the wind wants them to. “I keep thinking on this…I have a feeling that…I read about this somewhere…Some long time ago. Someone is trying to teach these victims a lesson. Don’t be a glutton. Don’t be greedy. But…I can’t figure out what this one did…What did he do so wrong that he had to be induced in a coma and suffer so long…You could see his muscles, and they were in such a horrible state, from not moving…How could he have ruined this city that he deserved this punishment-lesson?” she tried to think out loud, hoping that somehow, the answer will come by itself.

As she walked down the cramped streets of this place, the two princes trailing down behind her, trying to make out their own theories, she got snapped out of her mind palace by the angry shriek of a woman, fighting a weird-looking man in front of a big house.

“You will never get us out of business, so leave already! Spread your mindless indoctrination in another city, you’ve already angered everyone else in this one!” the woman, very beautiful, despite the twisted expression of rage on her face, shouted at the man, who, instead of having matching anger…Looked rather…Serene? “Miss, what is the problem, please? May we help you in any way?” the girl rushed to the woman’s side, holding onto her to calm her down, which worked well. “Ah, yes, you can help me by getting that stupid foreigner out of our city! We never wanted him, but those useless constables let him spread the word of his false God around this place, and now, look at him! Walking around as if this is HIS country! The audacity!” she scoffed, before shaking her head and inviting the trio inside, which made Y/N realise this house was a brothel – In fact, a pretty rich one – “You three are new here. What brings you to our city? The blooming cherry blossoms, perhaps?” the woman, Ying Yue, asked them, as she poured tea for them. “We came here to investigate the series of peculiar murders that took place in this city…But I never imagined, in my life, I would see a foreigner in the flesh! My father and the professors I learnt under wanted me to keep a broad mind, so I am somehow familiar with some literature from Europe, and yet…This man looked…Out of it.” Y/N explained, taking a sip from the aromatic tea, as her eyes were fixated on the visage of the beautiful matron. “Ah, yes, him. His name is…Difficult to pronounce. Alexander, he insists on calling himself. He is from a different religion, worshiping this Deity called ‘God’, and he wants to convert us. He is truly shameless…He keeps preaching how we are all sinful and need divine retribution. Honestly, I don’t understand him at all…Sometimes, he starts talking in a weird language, and waves around that wooden cross of his. He’s creepy. And he’s trying to get our brothel to close down and all the women become nuns and repent.” She shuddered with indignation as Y/N gasped in realization. “Oh…Heavens…I think I know what’s going on…He carries around a book with black leather covers called “Bible”, correct? Does he have any copies?” the girl asked, feeling the fire of understanding surging through her bloodstream, remembering the three booklets found at each scene of the crime. “Gosh, yes, he does. In fact, he spent months translating it in Chinese and handing out copies to every household, and all that. We tossed it into the fireplace, but…I believe there are some who still have it.” The matron explained, and just then, Yin Zhi pulled out the three books from his bag. “Like these ones?” The prince handed the woman the books, but she refused to touch them, disgust splattered all over her face. “Yes, like those. I don’t know what written in them, as I said, I never bothered with them, but hopefully, they will help you in some way.” The matron sighed, as she heard many of her girls giggling, and looking back, they were on the floor above, leaning on the bannister, looking down at the two men bashfully. “You two, it seems my girls have taken a liking to you. Why don’t you go have some fun? It’s on the house. Miss, if you want, we have a few men too, very handsome.” The matron rose from the table, trailing her hands down the men’s shoulders, trying to allure them in. “Not bad…” Yin Zhi muttered, looking up at the beautiful young girls waving at him. “Ah…Hahaha…U-Uhm…Thank you, I’ll pass. Thank you for the offer, I-I have to go now. I’ll see you two at the inn. Bye.”With that, the young girl didn’t wait to see whether the 4th prince accepted the offer or not, instead, she bolted out of the brothel and continued walking around the city, admiring the light from the many colourful paper lanterns hung around the place.

Instead, for the remaining of the evening, and dead into the night, she hovered over the book, skimming through it, this time, more attentively for any key word, or phrases that may get her to understand what was going on.

And then, she remembered her own words – Sinful, gluttony, greed – she said to herself, and there, she found the meaning of those words.

The Seven Deadly Sins.

Pride, Greed, Envy, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony, Sloth.

That means…

The fat guy was forced to eat until his stomach exploded – That was Gluttony. The rich guy was literally buried under his own wealth – That was Greed The coma guy…He had nothing in his home, except for a bed…And he didn’t move for months on end… - That must be Sloth.

Pride, Envy, Wrath and Lust remained…

Lust?

LUST!

The brothel!

That’s why the Christianity envoy wanted to shut down the brothel! God didn’t see lightly any sin committed, and lust was a sinful indulgence!

She had to warn them!

As she ran out of her room, back to the brothel, she noticed smoke rising from it, as it was engulfed in flames… Shocked, Y/N ran inside the burning building, covering her face with her long sleeve so she won’t breathe in the smokes and die while trying to make rescue attempt. She bolted up the stairs, searching every room and evacuating the fainted women who didn’t have the time to leave…But did she really want to see them fainted, on the ground? But maybe seeing them would bring her a certainty that at least they aren’t in a place even more dangerous than this one.

But he saw them, and all her worries were bundled together in the pit of her stomach – The closest escape was through the window, even thought it was to far up, she was confident she could manage to drag them somehow, despite how heavy they were, to safety, outside.

Thank goodness I learnt martial arts – She thought to herself – As she picked the 4th Prince first, jumping down the window, then climbed back up for the 3rd prince to bring back to safety. She hovered over both of them, trying to find out if they breathed in too much smoke, since they passed out like that, as she coughed a bit to eliminate the smoke she inhaled, and thought how Yin Zhi seemed to be okay, but…Zhen Zhen wasn’t doing as brightly…He was barely breathing… So she attempted a procedure she learnt from the monks – To press on the chest at a patterned pace, and the lift the head up a bit and breathe air into their mouth – If it was a different circumstance, she would have been very flustered, considering their lips would touch, but now, she had no time to think twice, as she took deep breaths and exhaled, praying to the Heavens for him to wake up already.

And after a few procedures repeated, he slowly opened his beautiful dark eyes, and Y/N could only sigh, collapsing on his chest, breathing in relief.

“Thank Heavens you’re awake…I thought you were going to die…” she muttered more to herself than to him, before feeling a hand on the top of her head. “Thanks…” the prince spoke out in a tired voice before he, with some help, got in a sitting position. “Your clothes are ruined. And you’re covered in ashes. Come here.” Taking out a napkin once again, he cupped her cheek as he gently cleaned her face, as she looked away awkwardly. “What happened? Neither of you would get caught in a burning building. You could have jumped out of the window. I know you, of all people, wouldn’t get distracted by anything.” She asked, frowning and putting one of her hands over his, stopping him from moving his hand – And he did, shifting his gaze, looking right into her eyes – He could see the worry, the gentleness, the wonder…The love and relief – And the lingering feeling of her soft lips on his own was worth everything, and yet, he’d have rather taken the initiative and kissed her in a more fitting place. “The sake and tea we got served was drugged. We didn’t realise until it was too late. We thought at first it was only the alcohol, but the girls fainted faster than either of us. By the time we felt hazy, we thought it was from the alcohol, Yin Zhi is much more of a lightweight than I am…But when we smelt the smoke, we tried to get up, but found out we couldn’t. But how did you get here? I was sure you’d stay at home and analyse that book the whole night.” He spoke, and the girl cleared her throat awkwardly, chuckling and scratching the back of her head. “So, uhm…That’s what I was doing…And then I realized what the crimes meant. All of them represented one of the seven deadly sins from the Christian Bible. Gluttony, Greed and Sloth being the ones already committed…And, well…Lust was one of them, and I remembered the missionary trying to close down the brothel. And since you were here, I was afraid the perpetrator might try something, attempting to get rid of his pursuers…And when I came by, the brothel was already aflame, neither of you was anywhere to be seen, the matron and many of the citizens were just standing by, screaming, but nobody was trying to put out the fire…I had to do something, you know.” She explained, unconsciously putting a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Give props to the tigress to figure out something like that and to be brave and reckless enough to risk her own life to save a bunch of people that don’t have anything to do with her.” The prince chuckled, only to see the girl’s brows furrowing. “You’re making it seem as if I did a bad thing. Besides…Don’t just say there were people who didn’t have anything to do with me, as if we are strangers to each other. It’s rude.” She muttered, getting up and turning to his brother and slapping his face. “Get up, Zhi Zhi. I know you woke up by now. Don’t just eavesdrop on people’s conversations, you, jerk.” “At least don’t hit so hard, damn…Don’t hit your future husband like that too, he’ll leave you.” The 3rdprince rubbed his now red cheek, only to have the back of his head slapped by his brother as well. “I don’t need to bother with a husband, anyway.” She muttered, walking ahead at the front of the brothel where the matron sobbing, hugging her girls who were crying as well – But at least they woke up, all alive and well – Unlike the crumbling building that couldn’t resist the forces of nature…Induced nature, that is.

The women jumped on their saviour, praising and thanking her for saving their lives, but Y/N’s eyes were glued on something else – The foreigner holding a Bible and a cross in his hands, as his eyes were fixated on the fire while his lips were constantly moving – Was he preaching, she wondered?

No matter – Her rage was bubbling inside her heart so badly that she pushed aside the women and stomped to the foreigner, yelling at him and picking him up by the neck of his shirt, shaking him roughly.

“HOW DARE YOU TRY TO BURN PEOPLE?! HOW DARE YOU KILL THOSE OTHERS JUST LIKE THAT?! YOUR RELIGION IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL ABOUT LOVE AND CARING FOR YOUR PEERS, NOT ABOUT KILLING AND OPRESSION!” she screamed in his face only for the man to blink in confusion and fear, but…He didn’t seem…Guilty…?? “M-Miss, I’m sorry, I know I am a foreigner and I’ve been trying to convert people and show them how great our religion is…But I’d never kill! The Lord is against harming others, at all costs!” the foreigner tried to explain himself to the girl, but she didn’t stop until she punched him to the ground, only to stop abruptly. “…So…You’re claiming you are innocent? For all 4 crimes? Even though the concept of seven deadly sins is a Christian thing?” she muttered, looking down at him. “Yes, miss, yes! After all, everyone in this city could have read the Bible, I translated it in many books, and delivered them to all households. I made sure to do that for all of them!” Alexander explained himself, and the girl could only nod, seeing the innocence in his eyes. “…If that is true, then, you have my apologies for misjudging you and accusing you of such atrocious crimes. I am sorry that some evil-doer is using your religion is a misguided way, and speaking your God’s name in vain. I don’t believe there is any believer in any faith that would appreciate their belief being treated this way.” Sighing, the girl helped the man up, only for him to take both of her hands in his, looking up at her with delight in his eyes. “Miss, you understand what my religion is all about! I am so happy to see someone so open to new things! Miss, wouldn’t you consider converting to Christianity for the greater good? I would gladly guide you through the path of redemption and make sure no trace of wrath lingers in your blood!” the girl’s first thought was to snatch her hands away – Touching was an intimate thing only lovers should do, not someone like him! – And yet…Her mid was somewhere else, and it wasn’t until Yin Zhen came to slap away his hands that she came back to. “Don’t touch other people so lightly, foreigner, especially women. It’s an act of intimacy in our country, and it shouldn’t be engaged in unless both parties are familiar with. Better get more accustomed to our ways before you decide to act so freely.” Poison dripped from Zhen’s words as he put his arm protectively around the girl. “Well, what do you expect from foreigners, any way? Especially one so outspoken? They come here, trampling our lands, as if they own the place, then they take away our lands, our women, and then will demand to be kings. Tsk.” Zhi spoke, which made the girl snap her head up at the foreigner. “Alexander, I need your opinion! Just now, you said wrath lingered in my heart, correct? Other than wrath, there is only Pride and Jealousy left. Do you think there is any possibility that either of these two would be a victim to the Seven Deadly Sins criminal?!” the girl’s voice was evidently worried, thinking back at the brothel incident. “The culprit could have put the brothel on fire at any time, and yet, they waited until both Yin Zhen and Yin Zhi were there, and they were drugged, along with the girls. This can’t be just a coincidence, can it?” Y/N spoke out, worried for her two friends. “Miss, this one here reeks of pride and vanity, that much is obvious, while this one’s jealousy can be seen from miles away. Maybe people from around are used to such behaviour, it may be normal for you, and yet, from someone from abroad, with a different kind of lifestyle and society, everything is different. If you think either of you may be in danger, then please, do be careful, and please protect this city. It’s a beautiful place with beautiful people, but it’s been tainted by this killer’s darkness.”With a small smile, the foreigner left the place, as the girl’s hand fell to her side. “…Well, future Emperor, how does it feel to have escaped your first assassination attempt?” she asked dryly, walking back to the inn, while the other two were behind her. “Tsk, are you really going

to listen to that guy? Who does he call vain, anyway?” the 3rd prince scoffed, only for the other two to look at him with a bored expression. “Honestly…” they sighed in unison, not wanting to address the Envy part on Yin Zhen’s side – Why would he be jealous, anyway? And the foreigner only said that after the prince pushed him away from her…

The room was silent for the longest time, and they were ready to go to sleep, until the girl decided to go on the roof of the inn and look up at the moon, as she felt it helped her think better. Being alone always made her feel much better and to think clearer. The moon was full, and she could even see the bunny of Chang’e, the Moon Goddess, and she smiled, resting her chin on her knees.

“You shouldn’t be out alone.” The familiar voice of the 4th Prince came up from behind her, but she could only shrug simply. “I can take care of myself. You’re the one who got drugged and almost died. You were careless and distracted.” She didn’t look at him – In fact, she didn’t shift her gaze from the moon at all. “I admit my mistakes. I was careless. I hoped that I would find out vital information on the people around here – Brothel girls are always the best people to ask for dark secrets, since men are intoxicated and speak freely around them – Alas, all I found out was that the constable is a frequent guest there…But never as a client. They said he was concerned about their well-being. They also said the ones who died deserved to die, since they were dead beats. And the last victim was a lazy who never in his life worked, so his lesson was to contribute to society in any way.” The prince explained, but the girl already figured out as much. “You would know best about being intoxicated and being vulnerable around women, wouldn’t you?” she muttered softly, but her mind was in a complete other place. “Do you blame me for remaining there with my brother?” he asked, sitting down next to her. “No.” her answer was simple and blunt, but he could tell, it didn’t come from the heart. “You should.” He admitted his mistake without a second thought. “…You’re a man. That’s what you do. Besides, you should get used to having lots of beautiful women around you. You’ll be the Emperor one day. You have no choice.” She said in a cold, rather impersonal tone, not wanting to dwell further into this awkward and tragic discussion. “One man can only love a woman alone. His heart is his own, while his body is the country’s. Men who truly love more than one woman are feeble, and should not be trusted.” He explained softly, but the girl didn’t spare him any glance. “In Europe, a King has only one wife, who is the Queen…Only their child is legitimate and the heir to the throne. Any…Mistake the King might do is swept under the rug, and the bastard is hidden from the world, or even killed. And the Queen…The poor Queen is all alone. Her sole role is to bear children and continue the lineage. They are not allowed to do anything, while the country abuses her body and soul, but the King can do anything he pleases, for the whole power is in his hands. Meanwhile…Here, the Emperor is forced to have multiple women as wives, and all can bear legitimate heirs…And yet, ask any woman, and you will see just how lonely and desperate for affection they are. They are not truly loved…But the Emperor goes to them when he remembers them…And sometimes, doesn’t even stay the night. The visits are brief…And when she grows old…She is forgotten, just like a wilting flower. I wonder…Which fate is more cruel? And also…Why should it be cruel at all? The Sun and the Moon are both beautiful, and yet, all alone. Maybe it’s better to be alone than heart broken.” She sighed, getting up and turning to leave, only for the man to stop her by embracing her from behind. “Y/N…Can you feel my heart beating? This heart belongs to you and you alone. It has been that way since we were children. I won’t deny, what you said is true in its whole entirety, but I never felt and thought the same way about a woman as I do for you. I am a man of my word, Y/N, and I vow to you – I vow on this country, and on my name as the next Emperor, that to me, there will never be anyone more important to you. So please, allow me to protect your heart, and I shall gladly give you mine for you to hold. Please trust me as much as you did when you let me catch you whenever you’d jump from the top of a tree, or when you’d find out a secret from your spying around the palace, and you couldn’t help but tell it to me, and me alone. I am yours for the rest of my life…So in turn, be mine, and mine alone.” His embrace tightened, and the girl felt hotter and hotter, her face became flustered, and she could feel her heart beating faster from emotion…And worry. “You are asking a great deal, you know, don’t

you? Something like this can’t be given away so lightly. It’s my heart, and I have only one. Only I know how to protect it…If I give it to you…Any wrong move can make it fall to the ground and shatter. And trust me, there is no remedy for a broken heart. What will you do then…My dear Zhen Zhen?” the term of endearment that she hasn’t used since they were children…How melodious and loving it sounded…The little fawn came back to him. “I would never let that happen. If it falls, I will fall with it, so I can catch it before it reaches the ground. If water rains on it, I will cover it with my own self, so it won’t get wet. If it’s too hot, I will fan it myself, and if it’s too cold, I will make sure to warm it until it’s not trembling any longer. So trust me, just one more time, and I promise you, you will never regret it.” He kissed her temple softly as his hands reache her own, intertwining his fingers with hers – He could feel her trembling softly – He knew the effect he had on her, and of her conflicting thoughts. “…Let me think on it, and I will tell you my answer by the time we reach the capital. Until then…Let’s catch the culprit and be rid of this pestilence. Actually…Let’s visit the constable, for a change. I believe that…He is not as innocent as he seems…And his uselessness may be just an act. If you can’t trust a constable, then who can you trust, the saying goes. So, what do you say? Are you in?” she turned around, failing to meet his eyes, but she could see his smile…As beautiful and confident as ever. “Let’s catch him.” He nodded, and together, they went around the house, their sword in their hands, carefully, and they were going to meet at the back of it, while they investigate every little bit of it – And yet, by the time the prince got to the back…There was no sign of the girl at all. “Y/N? Where are you?” he tried to look around for her…And yet…The only clue that indicated the girl was ever around this place was the blue ribbon that used to hold her hair up.

However, the darkness of the night became an even darker abyss for the prince as well, as he was hit in the head with a metallic object, which had him hazy enough to be dragged into the warehouse just behind the constable’s house. There, he got tied to a chair in the back, as the place was illuminated by a bunch of paper lanterns – And then he saw her – In the same state as him, only she seemed much…Out of it?

“What did you drug me with?” her voice sounded like a drunk man – Slurred and groggy – And yet, his eyes were only set on the small, shiny object in the constable’s hand. It was foreign, and strange…It was…Weird. “It matters not what I did to you, Miss Detective. What matters is that here, you and your dear Prince will face your demise!” the constable, Rui, grinned creepily at her. “…A constable from hell. How unlucky for the people here. Why bring us here?” she continued asking, trying to keep a grip on reality. “Once the verdict is done, I will execute the law. Imperial Detective Constable Y/N. You protect the law. But what have you done wrong? Go on, tell me. I know you know. That friendly foreigner already told you.” He insisted, crouching down to her level. “…My heart is filled with Wrath.” She muttered, feeling her head swimming and spinning in a vertigo mixed with a hurricane. “Yes, good, good, the sinful wench acknowledges her evil-doings! Then, you know that I have to kill you, just as I killed the others! They only brought misfortune to our beloved city! And you…You are the worst of them all. Wrath is the reason everything good gets destroyed. Women, of all people, should be gentle, calm and understanding. You? You behave like a mad war criminal who seeks blood alone!” he screamed in her face, as she could only roll her eyes at his stupid allegations. “Oh, spare me the bullshit. You are the one who bent the law, punish yourself first. You are stupid.” She groaned, feeling a headache creeping. “SHUT UP, BITCH! Who do you think you are, speaking like that to me?!” he said, slapping her face and snatching away the Imperial Token given to her by the Emperor. “You think if you have this token given away from that conceited fraud you call an Emperor, you will be protected from anything? NO! In fact, you and your two silly princes just signed a death sentence coming here! But, alas, I couldn’t do away with them when I wanted to, you just HAD to folly my plans! Very well, then, I shall do away with you first, while he watches you physically feel the very same wrath you inflicted upon this world!” and thus, he took a syringe and, despite all her struggling, she was still bound to the chair, and he had no problem injecting her with more of whatever that horrible liquid was – It made her even hazier than before, and her vision became blurry – Not even by straining, could she see well in front of her anymore – And it made her panic, trying to breathe faster, as she felt the cold metallic barrel of the weapon placed cruelly on her forehead – It only made her skin feel even hotter than it already was. “So, I’m guilty…For being alive. For trying to save people. And you…You are…Innocent. You are a hero…For killing. You are no God. You have no right to take away the lives God gave to those people. You are not the Judge, nor the Executioner. If you so firmly believe in Christianity, you would know that God hates no one – In fact, he loves all he created, equally – And would never approve of such senseless killing. You just chose to pick apart a few paragraphs that suited your narrative… And you went with it, using a foreign Deity as your scape goat. You are absolutely pathetic and a sorry excuse of a man and a constable. You should be ashamed of yourself.” Her words shocked the prince, but also made him afraid for her – Unlike her, he could see the twisted look of anger on his face – And he could anticipate his next move – As he saw the culprit strike down the girl once again, with such force that the chair tipped over and she fell on the ground with it. “I shall now pass my verdict to this witch! Those who are foolish and arrogant are unreasonable. It is from excessive arrogance, for deceiving the holy court and committing falsehood…I declare Y/N, the Imperial Detective Constable, to be executed at exactly 2:00 in the morning.” He declared, looking at the sand falling down in an hourglass, and leaving the room just briefly. “Yin Zhen…Is there any way out for us?”Y/N asked, hoping she was loud enough for the prince to

hear. “Yes, there is. I just need a little more time. Y/N…Do you know what that metallic object was?” he asked, trying to cut away the ropes with a stray nail he found on the chair. “It’s a gun. Horrible European invention. Honestly…I’m so tired. I just…Want to rest for a while…And get this over with…I want back home…I want to see the mountains in Hunan again…And the flowers bloom. I want to play in the river and catch fish…And pick fruit from up the tree…And make wine and cakes…And have them with you….Yin Zhen?” she let her head back on the chair’s seat, looking up at the wooden ceiling, as she sighed deeply. “Let’s get the hell out of here, I’m so done with sins and whatever.” And thanking herself for training to be flexible, and that the ropes were tied as neatly as they should have been, she bent down enough for her tied up hand to reach into her hair and pull away the hair ornament that had a very sharp needle, so she could cut away her restraints with moderate ease.

However, as soon as she got up and tried to take a step forward…She stumbled and almost fell down. “Is this what it’s like to be drunk? Because if it is…I hate it.” She groaned, gripping her head, as everything began to spin in around her at an even faster pace, so badly, that she had to catch onto something. “Y/N, look out!” the prince yelled at her, as the constable came back, ready to pounce on her, but she turned around, slamming her needle hand into his flesh, as she tried to pull away his gun-hand from her as much as possible.

However, the needle was very old, and it broke from all the commotion – Her drugged self was none the better either – And with just a bit more strength put into it, the constable wrenched his gun arm from her grasp and he punched her to the ground, knocking out the air from her lungs. It really pissed her off, and she wanted to rip him apart limb from limb, but the drugs were too strong still to allow her to do anything that she wanted to do.

As she struggled to get up, she heard the unfamiliar sound of the gun cocking, and then, a demonically loud explosion – Was that the sound of the gun shooting? She wondered, and yet, why didn’t it hurt her? Why didn’t she feel anything? She was sure that, should he shoot, he would shoot her – He wanted her to be in pain and feel the physical consequences of implied wrath.

“Y/N, are you alright?!” ah, that’s Yin Zhen calling out her name like that! And he was struggling…Yes, he must be wrestling the killer. “Yeah, I’m good, but be careful with that gun! One shot and it could kill you!” she called back, and got on her knees as soon as she heard the sound of the heavy, metal object fall to the ground.

As she heard the two men struggling to take the other down, she searched around almost blindly for the gun, and after some time, she finally managed to catch a hold of it, and with shaky hands, she properly held it in her hands, the barrel pointing forwards. The killer was dressed I dark colours, while Yin Zhen’s whole outfit was a bright gold, so, as Y/N strained her eyes to see better, she took a deep breath and pulled the trigged – And then static – Her ears were ringing, and she groaned, the gun falling from her hands as she gripped her head, covering her ears, hoping the horrible ringing noise would stop already.

“Yin Zhen, are you okay?!” she called out, struggling to get back to the shaky reality, hoping the drug’s effect would go away faster already. “…Yeah. You killed him. It’s finally over.” He sighed, going to her side and picking her up bridal style, leaving the place and going back to the inn. However, instead of going back inside, the prince made a detour, and chose to go to the highest hill, where the flowery trees were untouched by the city. “How did you know where to shoot, despite being drugged and not seeing well?” he asked, very curious, as they sat down on the grass, at the bottom of a tree. “…I may sometimes make fun of you for wearing such bright and colourful clothes…But if it was Yin Zhi, I wouldn’t have been able to pick apart the two silhouettes. So, to answer your question…Pure luck, I guess.” She shrugged, sighing and leaning her head on his shoulder, looking up at the moon, seeing it fall down, as the dawn was beginning to come, and the sky was painted in the most beautiful colours there were – And even better, her vision was beginning to clear up. “Let’s hope we won’t have to deal with anything foreign again. This was more of a drag than it should have been.”The prince said, and the girl could only grumble in agreement. “Ah…Right. Uhm…This…It broke. I don’t think it can be repaired anymore.” She muttered sadly as she took out the broken hair pin from her pocket. “This…I didn’t realise you still had this. It’s been so long since I gave you this pin.” He gingerly took it in his hands, but it wasn’t sorrow on his face – No, instead, he was smiling, realizing the feelings she had for him were as strong as ever. “…It’s the only piece of jewellery I wore since then.” Her voice was soft, the little fawn was brave, and speaking. She was honest with herself, with her heart…And with him. “No matter. I can give you any jewellery you want. This was old and I’m surprised it lasted as much.” He chuckled lightly, but the girl shook his head, confusing him. “…I don’t want any jewellery, Yin Zhen. You don’t get it. This…You picked this, thinking of me. You wanted this hair pin to be mine. To wear it. You thought it suited me. You thought it would make me think of you…And it did. And I only wore this one, and every day. I knew it would keep me safe…So I put it on again just before approaching that house. Guess your heart will always protect me. So, you understand? I don’t want just any jewellery. I want a piece of your heart, soul and thoughts to be in anything you give me, otherwise, it’s completely worthless to me.” She explained, snatching back the pieces of the broken accessory, making the prince smile fondly at her. “Very well, I understand what you mean, and I know just what to do. So, for the first gift I will give you…Have this jade pendant. I had it made for me a long while ago. It’s been mine, so, it’s a part of me. And now, I give it to you, to watch over you and protect you. I held it on my sword’s scabbard, I think it suits the black and gold of it very well…And so will yours.” He declared, taking both his and her swords, and trading the two pendants on each sword. “And I shall take yours, as a gift, so I can have a piece of your heart with me as well, wherever I go and you’re not next to me.” His teasing smile crept on his face as he heard her chuckle, snatching her pendant from his hand, tying it to his sword by herself. “That’s much better. It counts when the other gives it to you themselves, dummy.” She let him hold her to his side, as they watched the sky in silence.

When morning finally came, they got up, ready to wake up a very grumpy 3rdPrince, then went to the brothel matron to tell her they will be leaving, and who the real killer was, so they can find themselves a new law enforcer…This time, not a homicidal one.

“Are you sure you won’t be staying one more night, cutie? I mean, we didn’t even have the time to get acquainted with each other…It’s pitiful.” The woman whined, but the prince was indifferent. “There is only one woman alone who owns my heart.” He chuckled, waving the girls goodbye as they got on their horses and went back to the capital. “Very smooth, Princeling.” The girl laughed at him, kicking the horse to go faster, almost as if she was challenging him for a race. “I know what I want in this life.”He declared, and for the remaining long journey, they’ve been teasing each other enough for the 3rd prince to curse them regularly…More so than usual.

“I am very proud of the three of you for solving such a horrible crime. And to think the constable himself was the perpetrator all along! To attempt to commit such a horrible act of regicide…I am glad he got killed by his own weapon.” The Emperor sighed, stroking his beard and shaking his head in disbelief and disappointment. “Father, without Y/N, we couldn’t have done it. She played the crucial role in all the mystery-solving and having the courage to fire such a dangerous and strange contraption. It was lucky she was versed enough in foreign culture and literature for her to pick up on the hints given by the killer at each crime.” The 4th Prince praised the Detective girl, who merely cleared her throat awkwardly. “Your father will be very proud of you when I tell him of your brave deeds! I will have to think of a reward for you, but if you have something in your mind, do tell, and anything shall be granted.”The Emperor spoke, dismissing them. As they bowed, ready to exit the room, the girl smirked, turning around playfully. “I want to marry your son.” She laughed, running away from the Palace of Mental Cultivation, back to her own small place, leaving the two princes and the Emperor to blink and gasp in shock at her boldness. “About time.” Yin Zhen huffed, smirking, as he rushed to catch up with her as well. “Those two are such idiots…But I guess…Together, they will be good rulers in the future. Don’t you think, Father?” the 3rdPrince smirked in amusement, looking out at those two. “This youthfulness and open-mindedness is sure to be a great addition to this country in the future. Until them, let them be children at heart, for just a little while longer.” The Emperor chuckled whole-heartedly, closing his eyes and reminding his own youth, as it was so long ago.

Back at her palace, she hid behind the heavy drapes as she quickly and very skillfully fidgeted with a red rope – She’s been practicing it for a long time, and by now, she could say she was sort of an expert at this – And before she realized it, the drape was strongly pulled away, and in front of her, an amused prince towered over her, not caring about the poor maid’s pleas to get out.

“Found you.” He watched carefully as he noticed her face raise, and her eyes directly look into his – She got more courage, this fawn – He wondered if she really was just a sweet fawn anymore, or if another spirit animal found its way inside her heart. “Found me.” She mused, holding up the red knot for him to take. “This…This is the Love Knot, isn’t it? I’ve never seen it before.” He spoke, taking it from her hands. “And now, you give it to me. When did you even have the time to make something so intricate and complex, anyway?” he asked, looking at it with adoration. “I practiced it a lot when I was in the mountains, training. And besides…You sure took your sweet time getting here. Were you really so stunned by my statement that it took you so long to move?”she teased him, only for the man to quickly cup her face and kiss her – Her lips were as sweet as the last time they touched, and yet, now it was a proper kiss, and now, he felt her slender, small hands over his, as she deepened it with even more love, not wanting to let go of him any time soon. “I’m not the only one who loves to surprise.” The prince let out a soft, content breath, as he watched her eyes sparkle brighter than the moon itself…And she looked very much kissed – And her lips…They were plump, and in very need of more attention. “Clearly.” The corner of her mouth sprung upwards, very amused by his statement. “So, princeling, if your Father decides not to kill me after the stunt I pulled at the palace…Then, you got your answer. But, be very aware, I am not afraid to commit regicide on you, should you be a jerk to be at any time, understood?” she glared at him, more or less seriously, as she grabbed the front of his clothes, dragging him down to her level. “Crystal clear, darling.” He chuckled, nodding in understanding. “Good. Then, kiss me again.” She ordered, and he could only comply. “Any time, Y/N. Any time.”

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Stay With Me (Pt. 02 of 09)

Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader

Word count: 2.4 K

Summary: Daryl found you surrounded by the dead, stuck in the backseat of a car. You were wishing for death to take you away for quite a while now, but, as you slid back and forth into consciousness, there was only one thing keeping you alive. Him, the man with blue, worried eyes and kind voice. Your beaten up body was ready to give up, too wounded and broken to keep going. But this man, who went out of his way to save your life is the only thing in the world holding you up. And, because of him, you feel something you haven't felt in a very long time: hope. Wherever he's taking you, you want to get there, and not only to be buried. For what it feels like the very first time, you want to live. He takes you back to Alexandria, but even there, the nightmares and the terror from all the torture and pain you've been through keeps creeping closer, and Daryl, your hero, is the only one who can keep that all away.

Warnings: Mentions and description (not graphic) of past abuse; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); some violence at the end of the story (a little bit graphic, but not so much); blood.

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{The Walking Dead Masterlist}

I want to thank my awesome friend @jodiereedus22 , who helped me (and still does) a lot to get this story done. She's also a writer and she's amazing so please go check her work!!

×

Fear

As much as you're trying to stay alive, to live, if there's still a life worth living, you have to admit it's hard. It's harder than dying. Death doesn't hurt this much, you think. It's been only a couple of days since Daryl brought you here, and if it wasn't for him, and also Carol, you wouldn't be able to do more than stay in bed.

Your body will take long to heal, says Denise, who comes every day to check on your wounds. The talking soon started. You often overhear Carol in the hall, muttering about how you don't talk. About what happened before. They know your wounds were inflicted. It's quite obvious. But you do talk, just not to her. You have exchanged some words with Daryl, not much though.

Today, after Carol helped you take a bath, you pull the blankets up, over your shoulders. You would like to wear pants, but the wound on your left leg is too deep, Denise said, bone-deep. So she doesn't want anything covering it, not wanting you to move in your sleep and cause the fabric to pull and squeeze it. You don't complain though. This wound is the worst, you soon realized. It doesn't mean the rest is any better, but the leg... It kills you. The painkillers only work for a couple of hours, and you have to endure the pain until you can have the next dose.

It's a nightmare.

It's only worse when you try to sleep.

Whenever you close your eyes, the memories overcome you. Keeping your eyes open in the darkness isn't much better. That's when you realized you don't have to be asleep to have nightmares.

“(Y/N).” Daryl's voice gets your attention, and you roll to lay on your back. He comes in, looking down at you, worried. As usual. “Carol told me ya don't wanna to go outside.”

That again. “No.” You mumble. Carol wants you to get some sunlight, on the porch. But you rather be in here, away from people's eyes.

“Why?”

Breathing heavily, you push yourself up, biting your tongue when pain takes over. Moving backward, you release the air you were holding when your back reaches the headrest.

“Ya need it. To soak in some vitamin D.” He furrows his eyebrows in the end, and you wonder if he's just repeating Carol's words. “Nobody here will hurt ya. Trust me.”

“Would you stay with me?” Your voice still sounds weak for not using it. Looking at your hands, you wonder if you should even ask this of him.

“Wouldn't ya feel more comfortable with Carol?”

Slowly, you shake your head no. Carol has been very kind, but still... You can't bring yourself to feel safe around her. Not completely.

“You don't have to.” Despite the constant need to be around Daryl, to feel safe, you can't force him to be around you. It's not fair. Clenching your hands into fists, you close your eyes. The thought of leaving this room without Daryl makes your whole body shake, tremble. “You don't have to. But I'll stay here. I-if someone out there sees me they will–”

“Hey, hey.” You feel the mattress moving, eyes opening, terror creeping over at the feeling of someone near you. But when you find Daryl's blue eyes, your whole body slows down, and you have to fight back the urge to touch him.

“I'm sorry.” The words come out, but not the sound.

There's a battle inside you. Maybe your mind is way too wrecked, as far as your body, and it's struggling to take a grip on reality. The only thing you know is that you can't go outside without Daryl. He will protect you, keep you safe from anyone who tries to hurt you. And without him... You're an easy prey. You always have been.

“That's not it. I just... I don't get why ya want me around.”

You don't understand him, why he sounds so... Sad. Desolated, even. You haven't noticed until now, but looking further, you recognize something in his eyes. Something you're sure people can see in you too. Pain. Suffering. A past that almost killed you, not only physically.

“You're my hero.” Whispering, you tell him, wondering if you've been looking for too long into his eyes. “I... I know you'll keep me safe.”

“C'mon then.” He finally says after almost a minute of silence.

You're starting to move, pushing your right leg to the floor with a groan when Daryl gestures for you to stop before picking you up. He's careful with the blanket, keeping it around you. A moan escapes your lips when a sharp pull makes your leg burn.

“Ya ok?” Eyes closed tightly, you nod. “Sorry.” He mutters before he starts walking. You finally get a look at the house. The walls are a light pale blue, with not much for decoration. Downstairs, the living room feels cozy, with two couches and a fireplace.

“You got her out!” Carol exclaims, causing you to cling more onto Daryl, heart racing suddenly. “It's good to see you down here, (Y/N).” She gets in your sight when Daryl turns a bit, coming from the kitchen with a smile on her face.

“Gonna stay out there with her.”

“That's good.” She happily nods. “The sun will warm you up.”

You know you should say something. Or smile. Somehow respond to her kindness, but you just can't. You just rest your head on Daryl's shoulder, a hand tugging on the collar of his shirt.

“Alright, let's go.” You're relieved when he starts moving again. Until you're outside.

The sunlight casts a soft, golden light on the street, and a cold wind messes with your hair. This is beautiful, peaceful if you consider the world you live in. But your eyes start looking for any signs of people, anxiety building up as Daryl puts you down on a wooden chair. When he let's go of you, your hands immediately grab the edge of the chair, so hard the muscles of your arms burn.

“Hey.” He calls, kneeling in front of you. “Relax.” Daryl takes both your hands, removing it from the chair. “I'll be right here with ya.” He then stands up, stepping back to lean against the white wooden railing.

With your eyes locked on his, you rest your back on the chair, taking a deep breath. It's good to be out, and the sunlight falling on your face and neck feels nice. You can't remember the last time you enjoyed it, the last time you even had the chance to just sit in the sun. Opening the blanket, you allow the sun to illuminate the skin of your arms. But your eyes start following the bruises, purple and greenish, the grazes and the scratches...

“Daryl.” An unknown voice gets your attention and you turn your head at the source. A man climbs the steps, and you start breathing fast. His beard reminds you of one of them. The one who smiled as he sliced your skin. “Is this (Y/N)?” His eyes fall on you.

How does he know your name?

When he steps in the porch, you look at Daryl, reaching out your hand. It takes a while until he understands, until his hand touches yours. Through the corner of your eyes, you see the man coming closer, and you need to hide, to run away.

In a jolt of adrenaline, you pull yourself up, almost stumbling down, your body finding no other way but to collide against Daryl's chest. A groan leaves your lips as you lose your breath and hide your face. Both your hands grab his shirt, all your weight on the right leg.

“Hey, ‘s alright.” His chest vibrates as he speaks, but you don't move, you just want to disappear, to stay away from whoever this man is.

“I don't get it.” The man says, making you flinch, tears already rolling down.

When your leg gives upholding you up, you almost fall, but Daryl is quick to hold you up. “ ‘S alright. C'mon.” He takes you in his arms again, and you hide your face on the crook of his neck, eyes tightly shut, as if it would make you disappear.

Your body shakes when a sob comes, the image of that bearded man filling your mind. ‘You'll beg me to do this to you in no time. You'll learn to enjoy the blade slicing your pretty skin open.’ He said, laughing, giggling. He holds you down, his body making it impossible for you to move.

“(Y/N).” Daryl's voice brings you back, and you notice you're in bed again, still holding on to him. “Look at me. Hey.” His hand comes to your face, but you can't open your eyes. “Ya need to listen to me. Yer safe here, I promise.”

“No.” You mumble, forcing yourself to look at him, his face close to yours, foreheads almost touching. “H-he looks like that man. He... He...” A hand comes to your side, to the cuts under your breast. “I need you to stay with me.” It comes out as a cry, voice cracking, sobs out of control. If he let's go of you, you'll break down. “Please. Please.”

“Slow down.” You feel his arms around you, and you curl up against his chest. “ ‘M right here with ya. Calm down.”

His arms are the only place you're safe. The only place you won't be hurt again.

“Daryl. Rick wants to speak to you.” Carol says, her voice low and soft, fading in the end.

“Tell him to wait,” Daryl mutters, a hand caressing your hair.

“I'll get her some water.”

“Alright.” He answers, pulling away. “(Y/N), look at me.” Blinking a few times to push the tears away, you meet his eyes. They look like the sky during summer, or like the ocean, steady and calm. “That was Rick. A friend of mine. He's been with us since the beginning, he would never hurt ya.”

“I... I...” Stuttering, you try to catch your breath. You don't know what to say, you just need to stay away from anyone who isn't Daryl. “Don't let him come here.”

“I won't. But I need ta’ see what he wants.” You immediately shake your head no, not wanting to be left alone. “I'll be right there.” He gestures at the door. “I'll be right there in the hall and then I'll come back ta’ stay with ya, 's that alright?”

No, it's not. “Ok.” You tell him, not hearing your own voice.

The cold creeps over your skin the moment he let go of you, so you pull the blankets closer, eyes on his back, on the wings... Until they disappear. Carol comes soon after with a glass of water, sitting on the bed and handing it over to you.

“Drink, (Y/N).” She urgers and you do as she says, hands shaking as you take a sip.

Daryl's low voice reaches you, along with another voice, from that man. Rick. He said he's name is Rick. You never learned the name of the one who cut you, they never allowed you to know anything about them. It was part of the torture, probably.

“She needs to be introduced to the group. They need to know who she is. Who she was before, you know that.” The man says, his voice coming from the hall outside the bedroom.

“She's wounded. Ya don't know how much.”

“I get it, but we take no exceptions. We can't. She's been here for days.”

“(Y/N) doesn't even talk yet.” Daryl raises his voice a little, annoyed. Your eyes are on the open door, waiting for him to return. “Something happened to her. People hurt her.”

“She speaks to you, doesn't she? I heard her–”

“She's not ready yet!” His thunder voice makes you shake a little, and you exchange a glance with Carol.

She gets up, moving to the door. “Could you take this downstairs?” She asks them, stepping back in and closing the door.

You start moving backward, a groan of pain escaping when your sore muscles complain. You wait for it, the noise of the door closing once again, soaking out the light, the click of the locks that imprison you in complete darkness. The cold that hovers over as you wait for the next day. The next one. The next torture.

“Don't.” Daryl's voice cuts in, a force of itself, pulling you away from the memory, back to reality. Daryl holds the door before it closes. “Keep it open.” You don't know how exactly he knows it, but you're happy he does.

Carol nods, returning to sit on the bed. “You two have something going on that I don't know about.” She mumbles, and you look down at your hands.

“She needs time and she'll have it. If Deanna wants to throw her out, tell her I'm out too.” Walking fast, he's soon back in the bedroom, gesturing for Rick to leave. Daryl's angry. You've never seen him angry. “Carol get out.” He mutters, not bothering with her eye roll. He stands beside the bed, and you reach for his hand.

“I'll talk to Rick. Put some sense into his head.”

He doesn't answer, sinking down on the mattress in front of you. His expression softens when you look into his eyes, the anger from seconds before vanishing. “Ya need to talk.” He begins, keeping his voice low. “Ya need to tell me what happened to ya. Who did this to ya.”

Blinking a few times to push the tears away, you look at your hands, clenching them into fists.

“If ya tell me, I will tell the group. Ya won't have to ever say it again.”

The last thing you want is to revisit all that happened. Your mind already does that, a lot, bringing you back to the place where you learned what real fear is. What pain and suffering are. The place where your worst nightmares had to flee. They were nothing compared to what happened there. And speaking of it is far worse. It brings it back to life all over again, make it happen all over again...

But it's better to tell Daryl then than to anyone else. This Rick or this group Daryl talks about. No, that you couldn't. If you tell Daryl, he'll understand. He'll keep you safe, keep you from ever going back there.

“Alright.” You mutter, taking a deep breath, feeling as your ribs ache when the air fills your lungs. Bracing yourself, you start.

×

@funeral-7 @heyyy-hey-babyyy @twdeadfanfic @soraitmnt @winchester-angel @bvbwestfall @shawtygonemad

[pokeheadcannons97]

I'm not sure if requests are open or not but can you possibly write hc's for milo gordie leon and piers about having a s/o who suffers from epilepsy maybe include their reaction to the first seizure they see, and things like how they handle when s/o starts to seize/show warning signs,

I only do 3 characters at a post so I am going to do Leon, Piers, and Milo since I have Pokemon Shield

(and mama Melany)

Also, I’m speaking and writing this from my perspective of helping my aunt who has seizures regularly and will be answering in what I do and other things that I’ve looked up or found that help, please let me know if I can make it better, thank you! <3 Be safe

Leon

Even though he is super directionally challenged, he is so very perceptive. He will be the first to notice when you are about to have a seizure.

The distant look in your eyes and the nonverbal responses when he asks if you are okay are always signs you’re about to go into one.

He’s by your side in an instant, holding the back of your head up steady while rubbing your arm.

“Hey, it’s okay Y/N… you’re okay.” He repeats this all through out it, steady and comforting.

When you blink back after a few moments, eyes bleary but answer softly back to him, he knows you’re okay and out of it.

Will immediately stop what he’s doing, be it in the middle of an interview or sees you go down in the stands, he is next to you to help you through it

Wont hesitate to absolutely eradicate any disrespectfully words or jokes towards you about your seizures

When you first went into one, he had not expected it.

The two of you were out having lunch together after Leon had invited you out for a date to get to know each other more closely. He had been persistent, always engaging you in small talk when you were at work at one of the local shoppes in Wyndon. Would offer to help in carrying heavier things to help you out, and to make your work load lighter. 

You had been perfectly fine, sitting across from him eating lunch at a local restaurant that you favored, when you seemed to be staring off into the distance as he was talking.

When Leon saw your Gothita get destressed and practically climbed up on you, he knew something was wrong.

He was scared, and that was putting it lightly.

With Gothita surrounding you in her psychic powers she steadied your body and instructed Leon through her telepathy to hold your head straight to where you wouldn’t choke.

He frantically rubbed your arms, while looking for your distant eyes to come back to the cheery e/c he found so attractive.

When you started to move slowly on your own your eyes peered up at him, the distant look fading quickly.

“Mmm…? Leon?” You asked softly, trying to attempt to remember where you were and what happened.

“Y/N!” He replied a smile forming on his face, full of relief. “You’re okay, my God I was so worried, are you ok?”

“Mmmhmm… thanks to you and Gracey.” You replied with a soft smile, giving your pokemon a thankful expression, to which she cried in happiness as a reply.

“Let’s get you to the hospital, to at least get a look at you. Then I’ll make sure you get home okay.” Leon said as he helped you up with his strong arms, letting your body lean against him. “I never knew you had to deal with these. You’re so much stronger than I could ever be, Y/N.”

Your heart thudded in your chest, your stomach knotting up in that similar way it did when you would see him visit your work on his days off from the league. Most people would be so scared and standoffish, more afraid of you than anything. See you as someone that needed to be fixed, someone that was fragile, and needed to be looked after like a child.

But Leon? He shown genuine kindness, he didn’t make you out to be this weak person who had epileptic seizures. He treated you with respect. As an equal.

You were strong, something that you did not hear often in your life.

You gave a small laugh, and peered up at him, your e/c eyes shining against the streetlights. “Is it too late to ask you for a second date?”

Leon’s cheeks uncharacteristically burned a deeper red and low chuckle came from his throat. “Not at all.”

Piers

There’s not many times he’s serious, but when it comes to you, he is stone cold serious.

Will constantly ask you if you’re okay if you seem more nervous or shakier than usual.

Always holds your hand when you’re feeling more shaky, will go into any quieter space to get you to a safer environment just in case

Even though his shows can be flashy and loud, he really prefers that you stay home or listen to CD’s of the shows of his that are flashier and with more lights. He’s talked to his producers about incorporating more epilepsy friendly aspects into his shows and videos so that more people can enjoy it safely.

On the times that you do watch him, he makes sure that the place is better lit, and no strobing lights.

Will rub the top of your head softly when you go into one, and holds you to where you wont hurt yourself during it.

He knew you had them, but you said that it was less common these days. So he thought that it would most likely be a while before you had one.

The first time you had a seizure in front of him, he was terrified and confused on what to do.

You were sitting beside him, listening to him strum on his guitar as try to work out the sound to his new song.

Your Kirlia sat beside you, listening too.

When he looked up from the strings and papers he had scattered around him, rewriting certain parts he paled.

Your arms were shaking as you began to fall backwards rather quickly. Luckily your Kirlia predicted this and carefully grabbed your shoulders and placed you on your side.

Kirlia’s eyes rose to Piers and she instructed him to gently rub at your arms as she used her abilities to work on the overfiring electrical impulses your brain was having.

Piers scanned your body frantically, your twitching limbs and far off stare causing his heart to race in nervousness. He didn’t know what to do, but hoped that what he was doing helped in some way.

Your Kirlia called softly as your twitching began to stop and your eyes regained their soft e/c hue. You hummed a little as you blinked back the glaze over your eyes.

“Y/N, hey… are you with me?” Piers asked, eyebrows knitted together, refusing to leave your side.

You gave him a confused stare and nodded slowly. “Yes…what…?”

Your Kirlia touched your forehead and you understood.

“Thank you… for helping me, Piers.” You patted your Kirlia’s hand greatfully. “And you too Meena, you did amazing.”

From then on Piers was sure to be more observant and learn about how to be better prepared for the next attack. The zigzagoon brigade are always alert and ready to go into pillow mode to help you not hit your head or hurt yourself. 

Milo

The absolute best at making sure that you are taking you meds and taking care of yourself

Always tries to make sure that you have enough time to get enough sleep and goes to bed at the same time as you to help make it easier

He’s used to dealing and helping new gym challengers that have anxiety problems, so he knows how to relax you and help manage your stress

Being as strong as he is, it’s nothing for him to grab you when your legs give out when you go into one, making sure that you are laid down on your side safely

His big hands will make soothing touches and coax you through it, making sure everyone around you is quiet so you’re not overwhelmed with voices around you

If you ever feel bad about having them, he is so quick to reassure you that it is never a problem and he loves you so much

The first time you went into one

You were battling him as your first gym battle, with your Espeon battling against his Glossifleur.

You seemed so strong, easily ordering move after move from your companion, but that changed when you started to wobble on your feet, your Espeon immediately ran to your side to catch you from hitting your head and braced your body against her own and let you fall at a slower rate to the ground safely.

Milo gave a wave to the stadium, with a shout of “Everyone stop!” and made his way over to you. The stadium went into a quick and silent hush. The rotom camera, now focused on you.

Your body jerked involuntarily, your gaze far off and unfocused.

Your partner pokemon gave a cry and rubbed against your body while Milo held your head to where it would be easier for you to breath.

“Hey, Y/N… it’s okay lass. You’re okay.” He said softly, his hat blocking out the harsh sun above you. He gave your cheek a few soft pats, his green eyes searching your face.

It took about a few moments for your hands to stop seizing and jerking. When they did you let out a steady breath. You blinked slowly and gave a low hum as your eyes refocused and fell upon the grass type gym leader above you.

“There you are, are you hurt?” Milo asked you, his voice lower but understandable for your comfort.

You swallowed, and went to slowly sit up, the sun from above now shining painfully on you. You blinked your eyes shut but nodded and turned to him.

 “Yeah… just...” you began and suddenly noticed where you were and felt the anxiety well up inside of you.

“Would it be possible to…stop our battle for today? Please?” you finished and picked at a part of your nails, cheeks flushed.

“I’m sorry but I think I need to lay down for a while, I’m just wiped after…” you tried to explain yourself, your Espeon chittered next to you, rubbing against you softly.

Milo held up a hand with a genuine and kind smile. “Say no more, Y/N. Let’s get you to the nurse on call to get a look at you. Make sure you’re okay.” He rose to hit feet and held a hand out to you. “Can you stand?”

You gave a nod and stood up slowly, but wobbled a little, your legs still unsteady.

Milo scooped you up into his arms effortlessly. “Just rest, I’ll get you there safe and sound.”

And he did, 

[maplecornia]

chapter 28

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.13K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: Jin looks kind of like a vampire in my banner ngl

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags:@kookaine |@fangirl125reader |@kookiebbyxx |@taradevonne |@rae-bear |@mangminnie |@pixiekooo

What does he know?

You find yourself spacing out as you stand at the printer, waiting for Namjoon's schedule.

Just when you thought you had found some normalcy to your already chaotic life, you find yourself here. Biting your bottom lip, you groan, falling on top of the printer, the warmth as it sparks to life easing you even if it's for a little while.

"Why me?" you murmur, your brow furrowed and eyes glistening with helpless emotion. "Why now?"

What happened to the auditions you had sent before? In a time where you believed that you could achieve your dream without anything or anyone else holding you back. Were you not good enough then?

What makes you good enough now?

Groaning, you slide off the printer and run your hands through your hair. Your neat look has been thoroughly rumpled, just like your day, and you wonder if there will ever be a time where you're allowed to breathe.

Where you're welcome to let go.

With the small slip of paper sliding out of the printer, you grab it and turn swiftly around, ready to take it to Namjoon.

If only life were easier.

With a sharp cry, you bump into a couple of people walking by, and scalding hot liquid splatters between the two of you. A bitter, almost pitch black liquid soils your shirt and destroys the schedule you hold in your hands.

Coffee? Again?

Sighing, You wipe some of the drops off your face before glancing up to see if the pair is all right.

It's two girls and from the looks of it, they seem to be staff themselves, perhaps working on the publications team. You try to catch a glimpse of their badges, but they're moving too much and you can't get a good enough look.

However, you're able to catch a glimpse of their features perfectly fine. One of them is tall, with a soft tan to her smooth skin, and darker features. She has obsidian eyes that glitter when the light catches them and a square jawline that matches her demanding aura. Her hair is long and straight but looks soft to the touch. She doesn't wear many expressions on her face, however, and looks to be a bit standoffish. She would be hard to get close to.

The second one is the one who was carrying the coffee and though her face is pulled into one of disgust, you can tell that she's gorgeous. She has soft honeydew skin and almond butter eyes. Her face is perfectly symmetrical, and her lips full and glossy. Her eyes are large and wide, a deep brown color, with long dark eyelashes brushing against her cheek each time she blinks. They would otherwise be beautiful if they didn't sparkle with hatred and malice.

After a moment, you recognize what you've done; panic rising in your throat, you scramble to do something. You quickly reach for your emergency towels, but you've left your satchel in your small office. Cursing silently underneath your breath, you reach down to pick up the discarded cup and help her as best as you can.

"I'm sorry I--"

"Watch out will you?!"

Stunned, you step back, not sure what to do. It's been a while since you've been yelled at like that. A while since you've felt that shock. Swallowing hard, you shake it off and proceed to pick up the cup, keeping your distance.

Maybe it's better to just leave her alone.

"Wait..." at the sound of her voice, you look up, rather disinterested. "Who are you?"

Rolling your eyes, you turn to the trash can. You can't believe you expected an apology. Her friend, the one who was helping her clean up, peers at you before nudging her.

"She's who we were talking about, remember? Jaejin's replacement."

At the mention of your friend's name, your ears perk, and you drop the coffee cup in the trash can. Just what have they been saying about you two? Biting the inside of your cheek in annoyance, you turn around, facing them head-on.

"Oh!" The coffee girl's eyes widen. She looks you up and down as though inspecting a piece of meat. Her lip curls as she turns to her friends, eyes darkening with disgust. "Why didn't they ask one of us? She's hardly experienced."

You raise an eyebrow. Do they think you can't hear them? The dark beauty shrugs, her black eyes dull with disinterest.

"I heard she knows Jaejin. He gave her the post."

You try to be angry, you try to deny the accusations...but they aren't wrong.

Somehow, that makes it worse.

"Who is she, a colonizer?!" Ms. Coffee scoffs, tossing her hair over her shoulder. You try not to flinch, but you can't control it. You swallow hard, curling your hands into fists at your sides.

"Besides, isn't Jaejin dating Mijeong?"

Your breath stops as you hear the words, the same words Sunoh said when you met him. The same words which remind you of everything you have lost.

If they continue to speak, you don't listen, you can't hear them. The roar starts in your ears as your blood rushes to your head, and spots cloud your vision. You can't see, you can't think, you can't function.

Why is it still so hard?

Why can't you let go?

You feel yourself begin to sway as the room swirls into fragments of time and space, and you lose sight of where and who you are.

The only thing left is pain.

Always pain.

"Who says he isn't?" The hand wrapping itself securely around your shoulder, the soft calming voice at your ear, brings you back to reality and you're able to breathe again.

"Jojo?" The tall dark beauty's eyes widen and she steps back a bit. It seems as though she's started a fight she won't be able to finish. Jojo narrows her eyes, her hand tightening around your shoulder as she pulls you behind her in a protective gesture.

"What's going on here?"

"Nothing." Miss Coffee quickly intervenes, sending a wide smile your way. One that somehow comes across as menacing, matching the anger in her eyes. "Just a careless newbie is all."

Her voice is dripping with sarcasm and her friend beside her pinches her in her side, whispering something incomprehensible in her ear. The Coffee Girl shakes her off, growing furious by the second. You narrow your eyes her way. This has to be more than a stupid coffee spill, but what could she possibly have against you?

"Come on, Jojo. She's the one in the wrong. If it were any one of us, you wouldn't give a second look." She snarls before turning to you and reaching around Jojo to push you backward.

"Ya!" Jojo cries out in surprise, stepping in front of you, but not before the damage is done. Caught off guard, you stumble back into the printer. Her friend gasps, and steps back. You wonder if she's considering removing herself from the equation. Pulling yourself up, you glare at her before stepping forward.

"What's your problem?" you hiss, your hands clenching at your side to try and contain your anger. Jojo steps in front of you once more, just in case you decide to start swinging some punches. Frustrated, you push her aside. It's not like you're going to do anything. Jojo sends you a sideways glance, but you ignore her, focusing on the target in front of you. “What are you, a child?”

"Did you hear something?" The girl smirks, nudging her friend beside her who swallows nervously. You don't know why, but that only makes you angrier, and you consider stepping across Jojo to smack some sense into her. Instead, you deepen your glare and roll your eyes.

"Pathetic..."

Are you wrong? She's acting like a child. So naturally, your snide comment doesn't sit well with her. Eyes widening in anger, she raises her hand to slap you across the cheek, and you flinch.

But the strike never comes.

Opening your eyes slowly, you turn to find someone has come in between the two of you, hand wrapped tightly around the girls. You look to Jojo, half expecting the source to be her...but it's not. Her eyes are wide and she seems to have frozen.

So then who?

"Now now." Your eyes widen at the voice and your heart starts pounding hard in your ears as he steps in front of you, shielding you. The girl stares up at him with shameful fear, as though her entire world has just been shattered. "You should really watch your temper."

He drops her hand and she steps back, her friend catching her from behind.

"You never know who might be watching."

He gestures to the room, at the groups of people watching, whispering to each other. They don't hide their interest, nor their disgust as they send looks towards the girl.

Satisfied, he turns to you, a reassuring smile breaking out on his face. The same face known and cherished worldwide. Up close, it's even more unreal.

Kim Seokjin.

"As you said, Yen is new, and when you were first starting out, you made way more mistakes believe me." Jojo snaps, her eyes glittering with anger as she turns to Coffee. She steps forward, leaning beside her ear.

"I would be careful who you make an enemy, sweetheart." She whispers harshly, loud enough for anyone close to the two of them to hear. "Namjoon quite likes his assistant, wonder what he'd do if something happened to her."

Though the threat wasn't directly said, it's clear what Jojo meant and as she pulls back, smiling sweetly; the girl's pale face tells you that she clearly understood.

"Is that all then?" Jin says from beside you, causing you to jump. When did he get so close? The girl glances at the two of you and seems to grow furious at the sight. Her pale face quickly flushes with anger and she scowls before storming away, ramming her shoulder violently into yours before she goes; her friend scuttling after her.

"Ya!" Jojo calls, but the girl is already gone, and you don't mind. Scoffing, she shakes her head before turning to you. "So immature...what are we kids?"

You don't respond, instead, you turn away from the pair of them, finding your printed schedule discarded and drenched on the ground. Sighing, you pick it up, holding it gingerly in your hands.

Everything soiled.

"Now I have to start all over."

Behind you, Jojo and Jin give each other a look before Jojo kneels beside you and places her hand on your shoulder. When you don't look at her right away, she peers into your face and you turn to her, your face blank.

"Yen, are you alright?" you nod before pulling away, throwing the schedule in the trash can.

"I'm fine."

Jojo sighs before standing as well.

"Why didn't you stop them?" you pause at the question.

Why didn't you stop them? You're not sure you know yourself. You wanted to, you wanted to fight back...

But you have no fight left.

Sighing, you shake off the feeling of despondency before turning to her and smiling weakly.

"Were they wrong?" Jin furrows his brow in concern at the phrase. He tries to read your expression, understand what's wrong but it's near impossible. You've closed yourself off to everyone around you, and while you try to act tough, you're afraid. Sighing you turn away from them, unable to handle the pitying looks. "Besides, I don't have to answer to them."

I don't have to answer to anybody.

After a moment, Jin walks to your side and places his hand gently on your shoulder. Surprised, you flinch away from his grasp, but it doesn't phase him. He looks down at you with a somber expression before noticing your drenched shirt. You follow his gaze and the heat of embarrassment floods your cheeks. You quickly fold your arms across the stain, acting as though it doesn't exist. He smirks a little at the attempt.

Now she...she's interesting.

"Jojo?" He calls, still staring at you, and you narrow your eyes.

What is he expecting, a cookie?

"Would you mind printing out the schedule for Ms..." His eyes search for your badge before he locates it and takes it, reading your name. "...Lin today?"

Jojo nods but looks towards him a bit perplexed.

"Sure...but what are you planning to do?"

Smiling he twirls your ID in his hand before you snatch it away from him which only makes his smile grow wider. Taking your hand, he turns and pulls you behind him, Jojo staring at the two of you in shock.

"I'm going to help her change."

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: another BTS member encounter! and yes, it's the cliche stop of the slap, shut up 🙄

chapter 29 here

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