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shakspeare · 4 years ago

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faith is the ache

→ dean/cas fic → circa season four. it’s the emo soldier of god for me. → this is 90% kink y’all, most definitely rated r. → ao3 link here if you’d rather read there → first time destiel writer the renaissance rly hit hard

Cas and Dean’s first kiss is a battlefield kiss.

It’s raw and desperate and bloody, torn from Cas’s lips like salvation, a prayer. Dean’s never been a praying man, but if this is faith, he’s a goddamn saint. He can taste blood on Cas’s tongue, feel Cas’s breath through his ribs, rushed and angry and brutal.

This is faith.

Faith is the way his fingers feel like they’re about to break. Faith is the way he’s holding Cas to him the same way he’d hold onto his gun. Faith is Cas’s eyelashes, dark and wet, ghosting against his cheek. Faith is every stolen breath and broken bone, every stabbing pain, every gasp, every tear, every loss.

Faith is the ache.

The world burns red through his eyelids; he opens his eyes. Releases his angel.

“Sam!” he roars, spinning on his heel, staring into the fray. The woodland’s half on fire, some demon coughing up its guts at his feet. He slams his heel down on its throat, scanning the tree line.

“Sam!”

“Let’s move!” Sam’s spat out of the forest like a rocket, tearing over the waste ground between them. Dean doesn’t need telling twice. He hauls Cas to his feet and they run.

The forest blurs past them in shadow and ash. The night’s dark; freakishly so. No stars. A volley of sparks explodes in the air above their heads; they flinch, keep running. Things had gone wrong, gone very badly wrong. Dean stumbles on the broken earth, curses under his breath. It was a trap, that should’ve been obvious. He was off his game.

“Dean?” The angel’s voice is curious, not yet practised in concern. Dean jerks his head; keep moving.

“I’m fine,” he barks, and Cas turns, keeps going.

“Here!” Sam’s voice comes low through the trees, and Dean gives a sigh of relief. He thought they’d overshot by a mile, but the Impala is just visible in the darkness. Least something’s gone to plan. His heart’s hammering against his ribs and something feels really wrong there. Broken, he’s guessing. He drops into the driver’s seat, fumbles for the keys. Half a second to breathe, and then he’s gunning baby’s engine to freaking Timbuktu. He reaches out to yank the door shut, but Cas is there, suddenly, holding it still. He stares down at Dean, eyes wide, hair going every which way.

“I’ll lead them off,” he says, and his voice is rough and low. “I doubt we will go undisturbed.”

Dean blinks, Cas takes a step back—

“Wait, Cas!”

He tilts his head, frowns at Dean. Dean gives himself a shake; man, he’s losing it.

“Get in the car.” The angel looks at him almost pityingly.

“No, thank you. I’m much faster out of it.”

“I’m not offering you a lift, you goddamn hippie,” There’s something moving in the trees. He slides the key into the ignition, keeps his voice low.

“You going off alone, that’s exactly what they’ll be expecting.” Castiel hesitates, still staring at him.

“Get in the damn car!”

Cas slides into the backseat just as he guns the engine and the angels break the clearing; the Impala snarls and jerks forward over the rough earth, spraying up dirt and stone in her wake, and if he said that didn’t satisfy him to hell, he’d be lying. He yanks the steering wheel hard left, spinning them out onto the freeway, and in 30 seconds he’s put miles between them and their heavenly little tete a tete. Cars flicker past either side of them, and Dean’s eyes flick up to the rearview. Cas’s baby blues are fixed firmly on the road ahead, that little frown quirking his brow.

“So it was a trap,” Sam grimaces, running a finger down the gash in his arm.

“Woah, dude!” Dean exclaims. “Upholstery, blood; blood, upholstery!” Sam ignores him, reaching out a bloody finger and daubing some hokey symbol on the passenger side window.

“Angel proofing, dumb-ass. They won’t be able to find us.”

Angel proofing. Right. Dean grumbles under his breath. It’s not the worst idea in the world. The pain in his ribs flares and he winces.

Yeah, they need some off-radar time.

“Check the map,” he nods at the roadmap on the floor at Sam’s feet. “Find us somewhere to crash. My four hours is calling my name.” His eyes flick back up to the rearview. No reason why.

***

The nearest motel’s about an hour’s drive. Sam falls asleep in his seat; Dean flicks on the radio. Adrenaline’s coursing through him like a freight train; it always does, after a hunt. He flexes his fingers against the wheel, shifts in his seat. Feels good. Feels strong.

His lips are burning.

“You ok?” The words come out a little gruffer than he’d intended. He clears his throat, keeps his eyes fixed on the road. It’s just the polite thing to do. Ask. For a minute he thinks Cas might’ve angel-ed out, but then—

“I am uninjured.” Right. “Great.” He drums his fingers on the steering wheel, itching to do… something. He needs a drink. A sleazy bar. Pounding music.

“But I… feel strange.”

He can’t help it; he glances up at Cas’s reflection. Cas is gazing out at the night, frowning.

“Strange how?”

“I should have known it was a trap,” Cas murmurs. “There were warning signs. I failed to notice them. I failed to keep you safe.”

“Guilt. That’s called guilt, Cas.”

Cas sighs.

“It’s not a big deal, no one got hurt.” He ignores the stabbing pain in his side; he’s had worse. “Everyone make mistakes. It’s uh, human.”

Cas’s searching gaze meets his and he swallows, looks quickly back to the road. Jesus. A scattergun of images flicker past in his mind’s eye; Cas, bright-eyed, burning, in the split second before he kissed him; Cas, in the barn, sparks exploding in the air around him, hair lit up like some dollar store invocation of Jesus Christ; and another, something he’s not sure he’s ready to think about yet; Cas, with bruised lips, shirt collar open and staring at him like he’s seeing for the first time.

Yeah, he’s itching to do something, alright.

“Dean.”

He jerks out of his reverie, slides the steering wheel left a little, keeps them straight. Eyes on the road. Get it together. Right. He shifts a little in his seat, pretends like Cas’s gaze isn’t burning a hole in the back of his neck. His cock twitches in his jeans.

“Alright!” He clears his throat, reaches over to the radio. “If you’re gonna slum it on earth with the rest of us, you gotta live the whole experience. Guilt, shame, the whole nine yards. Now this,” he raises his voice over House of the Rising Sun, “this is a whole experience of it’s own.”

Cas frowns a little. Dean sighs, leans back in his seat. Resists the urge to shift his hips, let the denim friction graze his dick. Jesus Christ, there’s something in the air. He risks a glance at Cas again; he’s gazing out his window now, thank god, watching headlights flicker past.

Alright. It’s not like he hasn’t been with men before. It’s no big deal, right? Except — and this is the kicker — sucking some trucker off for twenty dollars is pretty fucking different. Isn’t it? His heart skips a little in his chest, imagines Cas looking down at him, Cas running deft fingers through his hair. Yeah, it’s different. Different like, there’s a part of him that wants to pull the car over and get on his knees right now. He remembers the heat of Cas pressing against his chest, rough and aching; remembers the sting of his angel blade, caught between them and digging into his side.

Is Cas thinking about it? Do angels get turned on?

He’s not even sure why he did it, why he stepped over the angel Cas had just gutted and wrapped his fist in Cas’s shirt. He remembers the last time he had sex; in that strip joint with some hooker — he’d barely started railing her when all hell broke loose and he and Cas had to book it out the back. Does this feel like that? His dick twitches at the memory; the chick buck naked and spreading her legs, widening her come-fuck-me eyes. He frowns, shifts, remembers the puzzled expression on Cas’s face before he kissed him.

Nah, this is different. He doesn’t know why — the chick was hot, Cas is hot, his dick’s sure as hell into both. But it is. It is different.

Cas is still silent in the backseat. What’s he thinking about? I feel strange. Probably still grappling with his newfound guilt, whatever that feels like for an angel. I failed to keep you safe. Dean snorts. Right. Safe. When has anyone ever worried about his safety before? He barely worries about it himself. His mind fritzes for a hot second; faceless men in truck stop bathrooms; this week’s monster, teeth bared and barrelling out of the darkness; dad, waking him up at three in the morning and thrusting a sawn-off into his hands.

Safe doesn’t figure. It just doesn’t. And if he slammed on the brakes and insisted the angel in the backseat fuck him in the next lay-by, there’d be nothing safe about that either. He shifts, presses his dick against the rough fabric of his jeans. A single streetlamp bursts overhead as they fly beneath it, and in the shower of sparks, he sees Cas, bright blue eyes, one hand gripping the back of Dean’s neck like he owns him.

They make it to the motel somewhere round two in the morning. Seeing Cas properly for the first time since he kissed him is a freaking test. It starts to rain as they haul their bags out the trunk, and Cas has done nothing to fix his shirt, where Dean had wrapped his fingers in his collar and claimed him just hours before. He looks a goddamn mess. Dean swallows, slams the car door, wonders if there’s a bar anywhere nearby. Cas maintains his angelic silence as they cross the lot, stumble into the motel reception. Sam stays awake just long enough to check in, scrawl a bunch of sigils on the window, and then collapse on his twin bed, shoes on, dead to the world.

Dean slings his duffel onto the vacant bed. He’d gotten a twin room on autopilot, hadn’t even thought about it. Now it feels weird. He clears his throat, gives himself a shake. Tries to ignore the ache in his throat. God, he needs a drink. Or something.

Cas is stood at the window, gazing out at the blinking neon sign. White Rose Motel.

“Uh, Cas— ” Cas turns, looks at him expectantly. “What are you, uh—”

He was going to ask what Cas was gonna do all night, going to ask if he wanted his own room, hell, maybe angels like their privacy, he doesn’t know. But Cas is gazing at him, throat exposed, and Christ, he doesn’t remember the last time he wanted to fuck someone this badly. Dean glances at Sammy, passed out on the bed, and clears his throat.

“Outside?”

Cas narrows his eyes a fraction, and then nods, the tiniest movement. He closes the space between them, and when he presses his hand to Dean’s shoulder, Dean’s knees almost give way.

***

The air vanishes, twists; rain glitters on the sidewalk; the night fills Dean’s lungs, and he can’t wait, can’t wait another goddamn second. His fists find Cas’s shirt and he seizes him, pulls him close; his head collides with the wall behind him; the pain in his ribs flares like an open wound, and he doesn’t give a damn, doesn’t give a damn about anything. He’s done thinking. Sex is sex, and he’s a freaking cowboy. He needs this.

He can taste Cas’s blood on his tongue, feel Cas's lips against his, rough and punishing and claiming. Mine, mine, mine, and oh god, he wants to die here. Suddenly, Cas’s hand locks onto his wrist like a vice, and he steps back; Dean’s eyes snap up to meet his; strange, blue—

There are unspoken questions in Cas’s eyes, in the persistent frown that quirks his brow. His grip tightens on Dean’s wrist, and he presses Dean back against the wall; he can feel the damp coming through his shirt, feel the rain, soft, on his forehead. Dean can’t remember the last time he was this turned on; he doesn’t want to stop, to think, he just wants Cas—

“Cas, please—” It falls unbidden from his lips, and in the silent seconds that follow it feels like heresy. He’s hard as hell, and the angel at his throat is looking at him like he wants to tear him apart, and god, if that doesn’t turn him on more. Dean finds his voice, chokes out a word.

“Please.”

Cas’s fingers wrap around Dean’s throat, and he can’t tell if he’s about to kiss him, or kill him, or both—

Then Cas kisses him and he moans; a prayer that’s snuffed out by the press of Cas’s mouth against his own and suddenly he’s desperate, starving; his hands find the back of Castiel’s neck and he holds him to him, panting, pressing into Cas’s kiss like he wants to die on the altar of his lips. He gasps into Cas’s mouth, inhaling liquor and salt and copper. Cas shifts against him, open palm against his chest and—

The pain in his ribs flares suddenly, sharp and hot.

“You lied,” Cas whispers. “You’re hurt.”

Dean nods, doesn’t know how he manages it, but he does.

“Ah— yeah. It’s nothing. It’s nothing, Cas.”

He doesn’t want this to be over, he can’t have this be over, not yet. Cas passes a hand over his ribs, gazing at Dean like he’s lost in thought. Dean winces as his hand slides across the break; he can’t help it. Cas’s eyes flicker silver.

“You should let me heal it.”

“Right. Yes. Okay, Cas. Heal it, please— and then—”

“Pray to me,” Cas murmurs.

“Wh— what?”

His eyes are gleaming, hair lit up by the street-lamps, glittering with the fallen rain. He looks fucking otherworldly, divine. He loosens his grip on Dean’s throat, and suddenly he’s full of something Dean doesn’t recognise. All he knows is that he craves it, needs it, dark and bright and strong and holy.

When he falls to his knees, it doesn’t feel anything other than right. He doesn’t question it, doesn’t think. When Cas runs his fingers through his hair, tilts his chin up to the sky, the ache in his chest subsides. The rain continues to fall, and the cold is creeping into his bones, but he doesn’t care. This is different.

He prays. He wants to. He wants Cas to be his, and he wants to be Cas’s, forever. Cas whispers to him softly, voice almost lost in this hiss of the falling rain. He lets him drag his tongue over his cock, lets him taste it, kiss it, and then — once he’s asked and begged and prayed a hundred times — Cas answers his prayer, thrusts his cock between his lips. He tastes like ichor and iron and wine and his fingers wind a little tighter in Dean’s hair. Dean’s never wanted to please someone this badly in his goddamn life. He’s good at sucking cock, he knows he is, but for Cas, he wants to be better than good. He wants Cas to need him, to know him, to never leave him. He runs his tongue down the length of Cas’s cock, wraps his hand around the base. He drags his tongue over the head, slow and rough and teasing. He keeps his eyes on Cas’s. When his cock hits the back of his throat, Dean feels like he’s about to fucking ascend. When Cas pulls him to his feet it feels like rapture. His legs are shaking; he all but collapses against him, his angel, and then Cas’s lips find his and Cas holds him up, pressing softer kisses on him now, sweet and deft and silent.

“Good boy,” he murmurs, and Dean feels lightheaded.

“Yeah?” he manages to breathe, in between Cas’s soft, persistent kisses.

“Yes,” Cas murmurs simply. “That was good,” and Jesus Christ, why does hearing that drive him crazy? Cas’s hand finds the tear in Dean’s ribs, palm like an open flower, and there’s a moment, warmth, and the pain is gone. Dean moans into Cas’s kiss, keening, presses his hips against him. For a moment Cas pulls back; Dean’s left breathless, aching, Cas’s fingers tracing the line of his jaw. Then the air around them rents itself in two, and suddenly Cas’s lips are on him again, but the world is upside down; the wall is gone; the air is closer, drier—

He tries to right himself, get purchase, and realises he’s flat out, sheets beneath his head. Cas’s had is still at his jaw, gentle, kind, and he realises with a lurch that the angel is fucking straddling him. He gasps, pressing up into Cas’s kiss so hard he can feel the bruise it’s going to leave on his lips.

“Where—” he manages to breathe out, the last vestige of his dignity wondering where exactly they are, though right now he’s so turned on he’d gladly beg Cas to fuck him in front of a freaking bar full of people — his dick twitches in his pants at that thought and he thinks he notices Cas’s eyes darken — that’s a thought to explore at a later date —

“An unoccupied room. This motel is not popular,” Cas murmurs, his lips grazing the hollow of Dean’s throat. His hands find Dean’s, loosening his grip on him, and Dean whines in protest; he wants to pull him closer, find some goddamn friction, never let go.

“Quiet,” Cas murmurs. His hands slide along Dean’s wrists, guide them up over his head, press them into the mattress, and Dean’s breath comes out in a little stutter. Cas blinks at him with those fucking weird, cosmic eyes, and then he’s closer still, pressing little butterfly kisses to his neck. Dean tilts his head back to the stars and gasps. The ache in his chest feels like holy fire, and he forgets everything — god, girls, demons, devils. All he can be sure of are the hands on his wrists, the mouth at his throat, the blood on his tongue, the split in his lip.

“Dean,” Cas’s voice vibrates, soft, just by his ear. A shiver runs down his spine; his eyes flutter shut.

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure?” Cas’s weight shifts slightly; Dean opens his eyes.

Cas’s eyes are bright in the shadows; he’s tossed his coat aside. There’s still blood on his shirt, staining the white, patterning his throat. He can see it when Cas looks away, lifts his chin and gazes across the room He shifts beneath him, a little, til his cock is pressing into Cas’s thigh.

“What?”

“Are you sure?” Cas’s gaze meets his, and there’s no challenge, no threat. Dean’s stomach flips over when he recognises the glimmer in his eyes. There’s no challenge because it’s all possession. Quiet, unyielding, simple. As if it’s all there is.

He swallows. “Yes. I’m sure.”

There’s a split second where Cas doesn’t move, only blinks at him, and he grinds his hips up into Cas in frustration, voice coming out in a whine—

“Please.”

And then Cas’s kissing him like he’s about to die. The press of his body against Dean’s is like a blessing, something otherworldly and dangerous and close to god. Dean can’t think, can’t breathe, can only arch up into the angel at his throat and pray, a broken string of words and sounds and promises that tumble from his lips without thought. When Cas lets go his wrists, his hands tangle in Cas’s hair, trace the curve of his jaw, the hollow of his throat. Cas’s shirt is gone, and he jerks his own off over his head, rough and careless, and when Cas’s palm presses against the brand on his shoulder like it’s a prayer, a rite, some secret sacred invocation that only they know, only they will ever know, Dean loses his mind, desperate, aching—

Cas draws back for a split second. His hair is tousled, his skin like marble in the half light. Dean’s heart is hammering like it’s going to leap out of his chest; he gasps, breathes, collapses back onto the bed.

“Cas,” he whispers, hands restless, reaching. “Come back, come back, please.”

He feels Cas’s weight shift, move, and when he opens his eyes Cas is beside him, eyelashes ghosting against his cheek. His lips press softly against Dean’s jaw, just below his ear, and suddenly Dean’s eyes are wet, and he has no idea why. His hands find his belt; he slips free of his jeans, his pants. He knows what he wants, and he doesn’t want to stop, to think. The air is warm against his naked skin but he feels vulnerable, strange; he rolls towards Cas, shields himself against his body.

Cas catches his chin with the pad of his thumb; soft, tender. He traces the sides of his body with the tips of his fingers, and his eyes are dark, brilliant, and Dean’s trembling because this is different, this is different from any guy, any girl, anyone he’s ever been with before. No one has ever looked at him like this before. The way Cas touches him, it’s like he’s the one who’s divine.

Cas presses him gently onto his back with a kiss, reverent, and his hand drifts down, over his stomach, his hips, finds his cock. He drags his fingers along the length of it, slow, playful, and Dean whines into the kiss, pleading. Suddenly his dick is slick, wet, and he moans, twisting in Cas’s hand.

“How—” he gasps, and Cas’s voice is just a breath in his ear.

“I’m an angel, Dean.”

When Cas pushes his legs open, and slips between them — when he trails kisses down Dean’s stomach, runs his tongue down the crease where his thigh meets his hip — when he kisses Dean so hard he draws blood, and then slips his fingers into Dean’s mouth — Dean’s gone. He can feel his own cock leaking against his stomach, so exposed and vulnerable and untouched. He needs this, needs Cas to touch him, hold him, want him. He swears out loud when Cas’s spit slick fingers slide between his asscheeks, tease at his hole. He pushes into his touch, craving more, needing to feel—

And then Cas’s tongue grazes his cock, his thigh, his asshole, and he’s trembling, bucking on the bed beneath him; his hands find Cas’s shoulders and he grabs him, pleading, as Cas’s tongue, hot and wet and obscene, teases at his fluttering hole. Cas’s gaze flicks up to meet his, eyes glittering, lips bruised, the column of his throat stark in the half light, and Dean is suddenly hit by the fact that this is an angel, this is not a man, this is an angel, a soldier of god, a force of nature, divine and unknowable and sacred. Cas slips up over him and presses a kiss against his open mouth, presses his palm against his aching dick, and slowly, agonisingly, pushes his cock inside him.

Dean’s lost. His throat is tipped back to the stars, stars obscured by a plywood and mortar and brick. He rocks onto Cas’s cock, and Cas whispers in his ear; soft, calm, quiet, tender. He moves slowly, gently, like Dean is fragile, sacred. Like he matters. He presses kisses to his lips, his throat, his shoulders as he pushes deeper in, as Dean gasps and presses up to meet him, wanting, always wanting. His hand grips Dean’s cock, thumb flicking lazily over the head, smearing pre-come and Dean could swear he’s enjoying this, toying with him, making him wait. He whimpers beneath him, tries to arch his hips in time with Cas’s lazy, teasing thrusts.

Cas lowers his mouth to Dean’s ear, whispers, his voice rough.

“Wait.”

Dean can’t wait, can’t think about anything but the ache between his thighs, the gentle fingers teasing him, the fact Cas pushed in even further as he whispered wait, bottomed out, flush against Dean’s prostate and just holding him there, not moving. He shakes his head, protests, tries to grind into Cas’s palm, but Cas tuts, sighs, brushes his thumb across his lips.

“I told you to wait.”

“Please, Cas— I can’t wait, I— please—”

Cas’s eyes are bright, searching.

“What do you want?”

“You know, Cas— you—”

“I want you to say it.”

“Please— Cas, please—”

Cas’s gaze flicks down, over his throat, the expanse of his chest, his leaking cock. He shifts, and Dean moans beneath him. His hand comes to meet Dean’s jaw, dragging the pad of his thumb down over his lower lip, gazing as if he’s curious, thoughtful.

“I want you to say it.”

His voice is low and rough and it sends a shiver down Dean’s spine. He’s a mess; he needs this, like he doesn’t remember needing before; and the fact Cas wants him to say it is somehow even better, even more—

“I want you to fuck me. Please. Please.”

Cas doesn’t move, still watching him, as if lost in thought. He twitches his hand a little around Dean’s cock, rubs his thumb over his aching head, and something in Dean snaps, and the words tumble from his lips before he can stop them—

“I need you to fuck me, Cas, I need it, I’m begging you, I need it, I need you, I need you here, please, god, please, Cas, please, please, just fuck me, touch me, make me yours, I can’t—”

And then his words are cut off by Cas’s kiss, hard, rough, dominant; one hand on Dean’s throat, the other like a vice around his leaking cock, and he’s fucking him so hard Dean cries out, sound lost on Cas’s lips. Dean wraps his legs around him, pulls him closer, closer, closer, and Cas’s hand finds his shoulder, palm like fire against Dean’s brand. Dean’s hips stutter and he gasps, his cum hot and wet against his ribs. Cas’s mouth is at his throat, his lips, and then he pulls Dean toward him, Dean’s forehead pressed against him as he comes, head tipped back and moaning, eyes lidded, lips parted, dishevelled and messy and divine and his.

***

He falls asleep in his arms.

There is a split in his lip; Cas brushes it softly with his finger. His healing touch is light, deft.

He moves very little; he doesn’t want to wake Dean.

Sleep. It looks peaceful. The warring emotions that usually colour Dean’s brow have all but faded. For a brief moment, Cas considers closing his eyes; perhaps there is bliss in the wilful dulling of the senses.

But that would mean taking his eyes off Dean.

Anger — unfamiliar, strange — courses through him; he had failed last night. Failed to protect the man who sleeps, now, mercifully whole, in his arms.

He would not make the same mistake again.

Dean turns in his sleep, turns toward him, nestles into Cas’s chest. His eyelashes flutter against him, his breath warm on Cas’s skin.

Cas feels — peaceful. Anger, guilt, joy; the messy milieu of human emotion is startling and strange. But this is different.

He knows this. The ache in his chest, the fire that burns. Faith. It is, perhaps, the only thing he has ever truly known. And for millennia, he had never questioned where to place it.

Dean murmurs in his sleep, and Cas traces his fingers over his chest, sweet and gentle and slow. By morning, there are a hundred Enochian love letters patterned, invisible, onto Dean’s ribs.

The stars fade, and the sun rises, and Cas watches over Dean.

This is faith.

#destiel #deancas #destiel wedding #deancas wedding #dean winchester #cas #castiel #supernatural #bi dean #dean is bi #bi!dean #supernatural fic #spn fic #supernatural meta #destiel is canon #fic #mine

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wormstacheangel · 4 years ago

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Suptober20 Masterlist

Hello, this is my suptober20 post with the links for my stories. I will update it as it goes and soon I’ll also add the AO3 links to them. I am going to bold the numbers of the stories that are the same universe so you can follow along to those. (Mostly all fluff btw)

So if you want the masterlist then click bellow to make it easier for both of us.

Day 1: On The Road Again: Dean forgets to inform his boyfriend that he was going out on a hunt after the big fight.

Day 2: Earth: Cas being a human emo.

Day 3: Demonic :Dean still being a big scary hunter even after Chuck D-words it and Cas being his husband.

Day 4: I...I didn’t realize I didn’t do it ha

Day 5: Daydream: Dean and Cas talk about their lives if they were normal

Day 6: Mask: A masquerade ball and some pinning.

Day 7: Domestic : Dean leaning that his normal is never going to be normal as he goes to hell for dinner with his Auntie Rowena.

Day 8: Heartless 1 & 2 : Two small prompts. The first one is fluff and the second one not so much.

Day 9: Electric: Clueless Cas doesn’t realize he has a boyfriend.

Day 10: Sweet Rides: Cas being a cheeky bastard and Dean ridding a mechanical bull.

Day 11: Rock & Roll: Cas had something important to tell Dean but now they’re making out.

Day 12: Rewind: Okay, now they’re talking about what Cas wanted to say.

Day 13: Ladies: Dean and Cas are in their honeymoon phase so to give them space Jack visit’s his sister, Claire, and her family.

Day 14: Fun & Games: Newly human Castiel gets motion sickness.

Day 15: Third Eye: Dean now carries Cas’s grace around his neck and things get interesting.

Day 16: Switch It Up!: Sam and Dean switch bodies. Dean forgets and kisses a confused Cas.

Day 17: Autumn Invading: Dean lists all the reasons he likes autumn and surprise to nobody its all because of Cas.

Day 18: Dark & Stormy Night: A hunt goes wrong and their relationship is tested.

Day 19: Pour One Out: Dean and Cas celebrate the changes in their lives.

Day 20: Home: Cas talks about his many almost homes and the one that has always been by his side.

Day 21: Fear: Dean brings Cas back from the Empty and now the little angel has anxiety.

Day 22: “I cursed the gloom that sets upon us, But I know that I love you so…”: Old men Destiel slow dancing.

Day 23: Favorite: Dean and Cas are civilians living in their own new home. And the kids come to visit.

Day 24: Family Bussiness: The burden of the family business in Dean’s life and finding that light again.

Day 25: Villains: Cas quotes Batman and a love confession emerges.

Day 26: It’s on the way I just..gotta write it.

Day 27: Banquet: A happy hunter banquet and Dean being a cute husband.

Day 28: Hellscape: Cas needing space from Dean cause miscommunication lol

Day 29: Fragile: Sam has trouble saying ‘I love you’ but Eileen is the best so it’s kind of hard not to feel it

Day 30: Dress-Up: Dean invites his best friend to a Halloween party to pick up some people but Cas shows up dressed as Dean’s fantasy.

Day 31: Carry On: A typical morning in the Winchester household.

#My Writing #Destiel #Deancas #Supernatural #SPN #A More Profound OTP #Jack and his Dads #Team Dumbass 2.0 #TFW #TFW 2.0 #suptober20 #WormstacheWrites

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sortasirius · 4 years ago

Note

This is not an ask. I just- I just finished watching the episode half an hour ago and then I spent ten minutes having a panic attack. I'm not exaggerating, I couldn't breathe and I was hyperventilating and shaking and crying and whenever I think about that scene for more than a moment I start crying again. I didn't expect this. I didn't believe- no that's not true. I read your metas. I read other people's metas. I wanted to believe so badly they're true and that destiel will be canon, but deep down I kept doubting myself. "What if this is wishful thinking? What if we're reading too much into this?" are thoughts that ran through my mind daily. And now that I saw it was real, I just, I can't believe it. I can't even say I'm happy, because my termoil of emotions is too vast for that. And I didn't think for a second Dean not saying "me too" or something meant he didn't feel the same. He was overwhelmed. And the scene afterwards proved he does feel the same, so I'm not worried.

I just wanted to say thank you for helping me believe long enough to turn fantasy into truth. I love you and your blog and thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.

Listen, I 100% understand, because honestly? I was right there with you. I’ve studied the episodes, I’ve looked at the arc, studied these characters, spent every moment thinking about the way that this would go.

I believed it, of course, but I had my doubts. I sometimes thought that I was reading too much into a show that maybe is just surface level. Could I be wrong? Could I be making things up where they aren’t really there?

I am so so so happy I could help quash some of those negative thoughts, I’m so glad to have you on this journey with me. Because I’m like you, I’m trying to make sense of a show that I love more than anything giving me exactly what I’ve wanted since I was 17 years old.

So thank you for the kind words, and thank you for reading my long, rambly, emo metas, thank you for helping me convince myself that I’m not crazy, that our writers really are going there, they really are crafting this final arc with care and finesse and detail.

#quwarichi #lilly answers #this is kinda emo but i really love yall #spn

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knightotoc · 4 years ago

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Anakin Blogging:

What’s the right order to watch the SW movies? KnightOTOC Ranks the SW Movies Why Ahsoka’s S7 Lightsabers are Blue ”I cannot interfere” Sometimes I draw Buzz Lightyear Luke Father-son or brothers? My favorite part of Wookieepedia the Skywalker name Content between TPM and AotC Helmet: A Star Wars Story Rey Anakin parallel Fresh Salted Hunk from the Deli Devil’s Contract AU An Explanation Are gifs libel or slander? Higher Ground Blogging Lars Quell Name Game Anakin’s Ghost Bum Out Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) Mind-Blowing Organizational Tool The Reaction You Requested Brad Pitt Cameo Can’t Explain, I think it’s Love My 3 Fave Characters Ever Worth its Weight in Gold Dark Middle Chapters My Curse It’s outrageous, it’s unfair Facts and Opinions Would these items work instead? Space Cowboys Diegetic Opera Lady Minnesota Update High-Maintenance Boyfriends Ranked + Part 2 Reconnaissance! This Guy + Part 2 Mirror Universe Karen Do Ben-Hur Again! Young, Dumb, and Full of Midichlorians Happy Birthday! + Part 2 My Ani Cosplay Best Title Crawl in Star Wars Low Poly Ani Hayden Voice + Hayden and Natalie Voices

Love That Maul:

I’m not a Sith Maul’s will Jedi Maul AU + Part 2 Impress the Bridgers “I was hoping for Kenobi” Poor Evil Gay Men "There IS no ‘US!’” Memes for the Old Master Awkward Zelda is the Boy 🙏Manifesting🙏

Other Prequels Stuff:

You’re reckless, little one (Except Shmi) “That’s...why I’m here.” Padme 🤝 Destiel Sith Obi-Wan AU Yikes High Republic Thoughts Pink and Blue Wat Tambor Theory I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in. Korkie! Actually I Want at Least 20 Prequels Discourse by Layer Rush Clovis Sideblog? My Evil Wife Ahsoka, Artorias, and Gerard Way Wait...We’re All Handmaidens!

I care about the Knights of Ren:

Illustrated Knights of Ren Headcanons The Baddest Boys of TRoS are Friends another Knight of Ren theory (with evidence) Avril of Ren Evil Monkey: Origins Poor Old TRoS Let’s split up, gang, and search for clues! vs Hux

Gay/Emo Shit About Han Solo

Solo is Sad, Too Solo 2 Solo Fandom the FOUNDATIONAL Rare Pair Han Feelings Chewie Feelings

Thinking about Mando:

Gallery review The Rise and Fall of Baby Yoda Coming at You from 2002 The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! Target Audience Mwahahahahaha + Meme + Part 2 Always Read the Comments Madeline just said “pooh pooh!” Warrior Gentleman Ouch, right in the niche! Yes he means ALL Mandalorians Put That Thing Back Where it Came From

Other Disney Star Wars Stuff:

Hierarchy of Needs + Part 2 Finnrey White Feminism Rogue Won LASaT Seriously Though, Where’s Ezra? Always Read the Comments, Bot Edition Cussin’ Anime Predictions My TFA Joke Revenge of the Jedi Promises, Promises

Gamer KnightOTOC:

Old Republic Wars Timeline Worth Fuckin Zeffo OTP YTTD = KotOR 2 Imaginary Sadness of Imaginary World + Part 2 Branching Paths Less Famous Sherlock Holmeses Hot Takes from my Kitten

Other Star Wars Stuff:

Last Thoughts Masterlist SW cartoons as meals I will never read this again My strongest Star Wars opinion Special Force Abilities Trek AU Top 11′s Balosar blogging Star Wars Writing Women Don’t bet against the house 20 Hot Takes Girls and Siths Vibing with Russ + Part 2 + Part 3 Powerpoint I’ve read approx. 10000 comics about this MY GIRL + AGAIN! + MY SON Ghostwritten by Cham Syndulla Mom Protagonists Dooku makes no damn sense...Compels me, though + Another List Starring Dooku A Daily Occurance + Part 2 + Part 3 Nostalgia and Ending a Franchise + Some Girls Planet Misandry Krayt’s Eye Color Continuity Small Companions Crossover #1 + Crossover #2

Catawampus from Star Wars:

Favorites Writing + Part 2 + Part 3 Senseless Violence MY ARM!!! Goodbye, Sheev Mashups for the faves Your SW Cameo Name Ahsoka’s suitors Ahsoka Fanart! My Mantra / My Better Mantra Fictionsonas SW Haters vs Trek Haters Darth Maul Prints They really are pretty useless Evolving Tastes The Gay Agenda Holorcon Boss Nass Kitty Balance in the Force KnightOTOC’s Official DNI There’s some good in...that! Ponchos: A Star Wars Story Fan edit of Maul vs Ahsoka Zabrak Padme Darth Hanna-Barbera It’s good, I like it Man After Midnight Snips protecting Skyguy Halloween cover of Battle of Heroes Come to the Dark Side... The Youngliest Youngling of Them All Hello, Sheev the OoOoOoOoOne! this looks better on mobile EU joke attempt (rough draft) Luke x Lando song! “Legacy Characters” Vivid Dream + Another One “Bill it to the Republic!” Maul and Ezra But They’re Cats Anakin vs Lancelot at Being Problematic Ongoing Poll grumble grumble Quinlan feelings Uncle Oni Blogging Part 1 - Part 2 Christmas OT3 How to Make ANY Sci-fi Good Subtweet How I’m Feeling So Intellectual Give in to your cringe! Prepositions Stretched Past their Limit Panicking Skywalker It’s called “art,” Kolara + Part 2 It’s no Seagulls, but still good My Favorite Trope + More Trope Stuff Underrated Joke imo My Demands! Spoonerism Wifeless Wife Guys 3 Guesses

#my thoughts

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lest-we-be-liars · 4 years ago

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Doomsday: A letter to the younger Destiel shippers.

Let's travel back, way back, to 2006. There I am. A closeted 15 year old, who just lost someone she loved in a tragic way. I was an emo kid in a literal cow town. These were not happy times. It was hard for me to find joy in many things, but I had music, and I had my fandoms. The shiniest of all, at that moment, was the new reboot of Doctor Who.

I was into it, really into it. It was about the time my unhealthy escapism started to manifest. The real world was bleak, but on the TV, The Doctor always saved the day, with Rose by his side. I knew he loved her. He had tried to say it so many times, but failed. But that was okay, because their friendship was beautiful and they always had eachother.

Enter Doomsday.

Rose is trapped in an alternate universe. They only have a few minutes to say goodbye. With tears in her eyes, Rose finally confesses her love, something the fans knew the whole time. I wait in anticipation as a sad smile spreads across The Doctor's face, he begins to speak, here it is, the moment I have waited for. My heart is racing as I know they are about to be separated forever, but at least the words will said. At least they will know that the love was always there. And then it happens.

"Rose Tyler, I....." and then the transmission cuts out and the Doctor is left, standing alone in the TARDIS, the words left unsaid, hanging in the air as he takes an unsteady breath. Rose is gone, and he will never get to tell her how he felt.

I cannot begin to explain how that messed me up back then. Obviously things got better in the show and in real life. I grew up and found happiness and still found joy in watching my favorite shows, but as for new ones? I was apprehensive to watch anything I didn't know the ending to, because I wasn't sure I could handle getting emotionally attached to fictional characters like that again.

Then I was forced into watching Supernatural.

I knew the characters died and came back because I started watching several seasons in. I was okay with it. I fell in love with Dean in the beginning, until I started season 4. Then Castiel walked into my life. I hadn't connected with a character like that ever! I adored that dorky yet dangerous angel so much, it was stupid. Then, I learned about Destiel. I thought it was stupid and delusional. I had been brainwashed by heteronormativity. I also didn't want to get my hopes up again. Eventually, after paying attention to their interactions with the knowledge that some people saw them as romantic, I began to see it for myself. And down the rabbit hole I fell.

Fast forward to last year, when the boys announced the ending. I was sad of course, but I knew it was coming. Like everyone else, I began thinking about the ending I wanted for these characters. I wanted Sam to be free to live his apple pie life. I wanted Dean to realize that he was worth so much more than he that he was. And I wanted Castiel to know he was loved.

Not romantically. I just wanted him to know that he was loved by the Winchesters. By Jack. Everyone. I wanted him to know he mattered.

DESPAIR!!!!

14 years after the most heartbreaking television scene of my young life, I find myself watching the same thing happen all over again. Castiel, about to be stuck in an alternate plane of existence, tearfully confessing his love for Dean Winchester, only to be torn away before anything could be said back.

I didn't need a love confession. I didn't need reciprocation. I didn't care if it was said out loud or even acknowledged. I knew, and that's what mattered.

Then they pulled THAT!

And now I need it. But not for me.

While it is true, that I have spent this last week going out of my mind feeling like I'm 15 again, this isn't at all about me. I found my happiness. I found my peace. This is about the kids who don't know that love isn't something that goes away as soon as it's said out loud. This is about the kids who have found comfort in these characters because real life is too hard to deal with. This is for the kids who need to know that it's okay to be who you are and love who you love. This is for the kids who need to know that, just because everything seems bleak right now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This is for my scared, sad fifteen year old self, who needed to be reassured that things do get better. Happiness does exist and you can find it in the oddest places, and it doesn't always happen when you're looking for it, but when it finds you, none of the bad stuff even matters. I need it to happen for them, because it took way too long to happen for me. This is for the kids who just need hope.

TL/DR: Young Destiel shippers, I see you, I've been there, and I want this for you so bad. But if it doesn't happen the way you want it to, always remember, there is still hope for you. This fandom has created a worlds for you and you can find comfort in those. Just because it's over, doesn't mean the story has to end. Know that there is love out there for all of us, even of you have to make it yourself.

You Are Not Alone.

#destiel #spn #s15 spoilers #spoilers #the doctor and rose #doomsday #despair #yana #you are not alone #keep hope alive

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soysaucecas · 3 years ago

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oooh for the ask game 24, 30, and 44!

MAGPIE MY BELOVED HELLO

24. What are your favorite episodes?

The only episodes I've really watched are TMWWBK (which is my favorite episode and I'm certain would still be my favorite if I watched every single one because it has the only SPN character and the only SPN line), The French Mistake (which was funny enough but honestly in the Just Okay category for me, which makes me pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy actually watching SPN if this is one of the funniest/highest-rated eps), and Reading Is Fundamental (my best friend was watching it and asked me if I wanted to hop on Discord, I thought it might be fun to see Kevin's first introduction but instead this ep found the two of us taking like 90 minutes to get through it bc we kept pausing and screaming (derogatory) as the model minority stereotype jokes piled up and up and up... Unfortunately not a favorite even if we got Meg AND the "pull my finger" joke AND the "Sorry" shot). Other than TMWWBK, from clipping and transcript-reading, I like Wayward Sisters (who doesn't?), The Things We Left Behind (Claire!!!! Cas trying to be a dad! The diner scene aka my favorite destiel scene of all time bc being in love just looks so good on Cas! Also the parallels between Claire and Randy and teen Dean and the adults at that club in his story... woof.), Golden Time (Eileen gets to be HERE and be sad and loved and fight people with ghost powers and Cas gets to do a cool speech and a stabbing and do the Asian community a favor), and Lucifer Rising (just immensely sexy on all counts for Ruby, Sam, Cas, and myself). Also I am SO fond of Steve!Cas so I'll add Heaven Can't Wait even if I barely know anything about it.

30. What is an unpopular opinion or headcanon you have about the show?

Ooh okay hm I think. So I adore confession scene, but I don't think the "I cared about the whole world because of you" is like. The Objective Truth the way that most bloggers seem to take it. Cas was lobotomized tons of times before he met Dean, he was described as coming off the line with a crack in his chassis, he's always been the weird little angel who likes humanity too much! I don't think Dean came first, and although gay love was part of what helped Cas invent free will, he *Ruby voice* didn't need the feather to fly, Dumbo! I do think Cas believes what he says in the moment, but I also think he sorta... made himself believe it? This is probably just me deciding that cas-coding should go both ways, but like. I very much crush as a coping mechanism and I very much overascribe my actions to love because it simply seems more noble/poetic to do so. Being miserable because school is hard is cringefail but being miserable because of unrequited love is Good Shit. And I have been in unrequited love with my best friend for at least 7 years (probably 9 but I didn't realize it earlier) and if you asked I would 100% say that she taught me love and defined love for me and that she will be my first and last, but I also know that that is not entirely true; it's just the narrative that I like for myself. And I think that being in an Empty deal contingent on whether or not he LETS himself feel happy would lead Cas to do plenty of mental maneuvering, which I think involved intentional self-poor-little-meow-meow-ification via overascribing his choices and happiness to Dean (and I also think he'd already been doing that for a while just because of personal self-worth issues and because it's a nice narrative). I know as Cas's last Moment on the show it was probably written to be The Objective Truth, but I am perceiving him and I say no.

44. If you could write an episode of Supernatural, what would happen?

Oh scream okay! This is a fun one! I am going to start out with two ideas from other people:

1. Months ago Nate from the pocnatural discord had the idea of an episode from the "monster"'s perspective where the Winchesters are just clearly the antagonists while not doing anything different than they usually do. I think the idea was that all these supernatural beings live in a self-regulating community together and we have one Very Likable pov character who's a member of this community, but one of the newer members messes up one day and kills someone and the Winchesters come on a case and wreak havoc on this Very Much Functioning (there was going to be a whole rehab and reparations thing for the new member who messed up!) system and kill pov character and in the end you just HATE Sam and Dean for it.

2. It's hard to adapt anything from bad moon rising (aka my favorite spn fic) very well because the point of an Arab Winchesters season 1 rewrite is that it doesn't really work with the white characters we have now, but I think I could see a version of chapter 2 adapted as long as Haley (an Ojibwe hunter who lives in the area affected by what Sam and Dean are hunting) takes the lead. I'd especially like to see this section:

Dean laughs, a little disbelievingly. The question has never crossed his mind. “Do you like it?”

This gives Haley no pause at all. “Yeah,” she says. “I mean, it’s not really about killing monsters, though, for me. Or, it’s not always about killing monsters. It’s about community. Not violence. It’s a spiritual thing to build a home, you know?”

“Oh,” Dean says. He can’t think of anything else to say. It has never crossed his mind before that hunting could be compatible with a community.

I don't have any original episode ideas to add to the hunting discourse, so we're on to my ideas about character-driven eps. I think I would like to see a version of my sastiel possession fic (ty again for beta-ing that! you're a real one) as an ep around the time of 9.11 because Sam deserves to work through their trauma, but idk what the Dean plot should be for that. Another thing I would like very much is TFW drunk history storytime (so like. Tall Tales bass boosted), where for some reason they all need to go over what they were doing during Stanford era but each of them is telling someone else's story. It's gonna be either Sam->Dean->Cas->Sam or Dean->Sam->Cas->Dean. It starts out very funny (they all have terrible wigs and makeup in the flashbacks. Cas is Jimmy wearing a giant mask with googly eyes on it.) but as it goes on it gets increasingly sad how much these three don't really know each other.

In the Sam->Dean->Cas->Sam episode, Sam's telling of Dean's past veers wildly between "crushing pussy and killing things" and "feels like absolute shit all the time" and it's funny but Not Right and afterwards Dean goes "I didn't know you thought of me that way" and Sam says "... I am basically reading off the voicemails you left me back then" and Dean has to sit there and contend with the mythology he himself wrote for Sam to believe in. Dean->Cas provides the comedic beats for the episode as Dean awkwardly narrates Cas's Life As A Weird Little Guy who watches trees grow and heals babies and in the end Dean goes "so how did I do" and Cas is like "well actually I was either getting lobotomized or murdering people so like 3/10?" The moral of this plot line is that Dean is bi. Cas gives a fairly faithful retelling of Sam living her trans little life at Stanford and veering between trying to be Normal and being a total weirdgirl and feeling guilty and angry and happy and free. It becomes clear that Cas admires Sam a lot (but also feels like. guilt and some self-recrimination for not being that) for rebelling from their dad and exploring their queerness during a time Cas was still to his knowledge in total soldier mode, and Sam is having an a_good_soldier's Thesis 5 moment about how she failed the kid she used to be and how very sorry they are about all the things that happened to them, and Dean hates that this is the first he's hearing about so much of this but is also quite emo about the parts where Sam is struggling. The ep ends with them all in the same room not looking at each other and not knowing if they want to group hug or never talk again.

Dean->Sam->Cas episode is similar but the storytelling dissolves a lot faster as it becomes clearer way faster how much their own emotions are getting in the way. Dean is upset that Sam could leave their family so easily and probably swing a normal life, Sam keeps wondering what it would be like to live millennia just KNOWING that you were right and good and clean, and Cas is gay and veering between fitting Dean's life into a larger Righteous Man narrative and just being very tender (and sad and angry) about Dean's pain. Episode ends in a rather cathartic shouting match where they all end up apologizing to each other for many things.

Oh also I would like to see Cassie again but I don't have an episode in mind there. Also would love to see Kaia adjusting to life in Sioux Falls and befriending the others and dealing with Bad Place trauma.

tysm for the questions sorry for taking so long!

(ask game)

#ask #long post

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hippychick006 · 5 years ago

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15.12 - Galaxy Brain

Episode Review/Recap

This is not pretty. Not the worst episode ever, but definitely somewhere in the bottom 10. It mainly suffers from having the focus on “fan favourites” I stopped caring about seasons ago, and contempt for Sam and Dean and their fans coming through loud and clear in the writing.

Everything under a cut because some people can’t handle the truth!

Official episode summary to get us excited and want to watch live: Sam and Dean respond to a frantic call and together along with Castiel, Jack, and Jody Mills (guest star Kim Rhodes), assist in an extraordinary and heartbreaking rescue. Billie (guest star Lisa Berry) surprises everyone with a visit to the bunker.

My reaction:

“Heartbreaking rescue” 😂

Kaia is shown in the recap and since I know from the promo that Jody is also in this episode, it’s yet another Wayward af episode being forced onto an audience who were very clear they didn’t want it 🙄. The recap is sending me to sleep and my bitter Sam girl is rising since he’s barely in it. Checks who wrote it and rolls eyes: Teleplay by Bobo the 🤡. Dean likely isn’t going to be much better off, prepares self for Destiel pandering and Dean being used as a side character to prop up the actual side characters. Awesome. Roll on Walker where I hope I won’t be subjected to this shit.

The radio shed scene is boring. Done with “fan favourite” Chuck and have been for several seasons now. Chuck’s droning on about Sam and Dean, yet it’s Dean and waste of space who are being shown sitting down together, with Sam barely in the background. Awesome. I just. Why? This is like when someone says something about J2 but we get a gif that includes M. Why are we incapable of getting just J2 or Sam and Dean?

Moving quickly on, we transition from one character I used to love but now don’t care about, to another character I used to love, but now don’t care about. “Fan favourite” Jody is examining a dead cow. “Fan favourite” Alex calls her, she must have been busy doing something else as she doesn’t appear in the episode. Side note, Berens put the line in about vegan lasagne because the girl playing Alex is a vegan. Oh… so we’re putting in shout outs to the side characters now? Maybe that’s why the writing is so bad. #justsaying 🤷‍♀️

Jody gets whacked on the head and is it wrong to hope she’s dead? 😔 I know she’s not dead, I know this episode is going to be TFW 2.0 rescuing her (though I predict they will end up being the ones needing to be rescued because Wayward af). It’s too much to expect some real cases, some real urban legends to investigate in the final season. Show went too big when it should have gone home.

Almost 7 minutes in and we finally have Sam and Dean. Yay! Berens has finally remembered they are still characters on the show, but I guess he hasn’t focused on them as they aren’t “fan favourites”. And of course “fan favourite” waste of space is in the scene because Chuck fucking forbid we get the brothers without their waste of space hanging around because he somehow has nothing else to do the last 4 seasons.

We’re pandering to “my three dad’s” fan fiction crowd in this scene, though sharing 1 braincell Destihellers for sure will be tweeting about “dads” Dean and waste of space and cheerleader Uncle Sam. They’re talking about “fan favourite” Jack and him eating hearts. Sam doesn’t want to trust “fan favourite” Billie (good call imo). Dean seems disconnected from this scene. Same Jensen, Same tbh. Jared, bless him, is trying his best with this shit, even bringing out the big gun puppy eyes of doom, but I’m feeling nothing but anger.

We move from them to Jack wandering around the bunker. We see him looking at “fan favourite” Mary’s initials carved into the table… and thank you show for reminding me of that fuck up that I’d wiped from my memory. 😡🤬. We learn during this scene that Jack has been trying to contact Billie, but she’s busy so sent him a reaper.

Back with my three dad’s and Jensen can barely keep the contempt out of his expression to deliver this script. 😂

We learn in this scene that Jack trusts Death so waste of space trusts Jack (me plaintively, why???), This appears to be the part in the season that waste of space is being set up to be the tool, which they’ll forgive him for yet again. 🙄 and also 😴 and 😡, a lot of 😡

Ooh, Sam just asked the obvious question, “If Jack kills god, what about Amara.” Nobody really answers it though.

Jared side-eyeing Misha at the end of this “brother” scene. Wtf are you doing in this scene? Your contribution was what exactly? Did I get any time off during any of this for you to stand in this scene doing nothing, other than pandering to Destiel stans that could give a fuck about me, than as a cheerleader for their non ship? He flounces out. I wish I could leave as easily Jared, but you sucked me into this show the first time you popped your cute mop of emo hair around the door and asked, “Do I have to?” I’m here to the bitter, bitter end my friend.

Back with Jack and “fan favourite” random reaper we’ve never seen before. No offence to the lady, but it might have been nice to see “fan favourite” Tessa back. I don’t think she bit the dust, did she? Anyway 😴 through this scene.

Parent!Sam goes to find Jack and hears him talking to someone. Immediately concerned, he knocks on the door, and enters. The reaper has disappeared. Sam asks who Jack was talking to, Jack says no one, Sam knows that’s not the case but doesn’t push it. Sam says they’re glad to have Jack back and asks if he knows that and that Jack could have come to them first, they would have helped him. So… we’re just ignoring the whole box thing and the end of last season? Awesome, said no fan of good writing or continuity anywhere.

By the way Jack, that was your cue to be honest with Sam about the reaper.

Ah, yet another pandering moment!! How would we have endured the last few seasons without one or two or twenty of these crow barred into every episode. Screams from the rooftops “waste of space is a god damn angel, he doesn’t eat or drink, why the fuck are you trying to humanise him you twats.”

Anyway 😴 through that scene and I swear, I would pay to have a version of this show with waste of space completely removed from the last few seasons. Zero purpose to this, other than setting him up to be wrong again, and taking Dean along with him, because if Jack’s anything other than a red herring, I’ll be very 😡

As an aside, I don’t know who that is in this scene but it’s not Dean. It’s not my Dean that I fell in love with. I hate how much this show lost its way and dragged everything down to pandering and soap opera drama.

As another aside, this scene is like an outtake with seeing who can have the deepest voice, their vocal chords are going to be permanently screwed.

However, what amuses me as always with any Dean and waste of space scene, they don’t actually talk, except about Sam or Jack and this scene is no different.

Dean’s phone rings. It’s Jody. I started watching this epsiode, then took a break for a couple of days and had somehow completely forgotten she was in the episode. That’s how efficient my mind is at removing the trash. 😂. Anyway she’s in trouble and tells Dean where she is and that he has to come, otherwise she dies.

Dean and Sam drive to the location given by Jody and I’m incredibly surprised that waste of space isn’t cadging a ride in the back seat. Seems this is a random time they can deal with things on their own without requiring the assistance of several others. Just like the good old days. Shame they’re saving one of the Wayward failures rather than a brand new case that would have been infinitely more interesting.

Sam and Dean get to pretend they remember how to hunt in this episode, Dean covering Sam’s back while Sam helps untie Jody who is tied to a chair in the middle of a barn is the best scene in the episode so far. Jody has plenty of time while Sam’s untying her to warn them to watch out for “fan favourite” Dark!Kaia but no, and that’s how bad this is. She barely gets a gasp and a “look out” before Sam gets whaled on. And of course they are both going to get their asses handed to them because “Wayward af” 🙄. Fucking hate Wayward, not content with ruining 4 episodes of season 13, they’ve come back uninvited to waste another in season 15.

What the fuck did I just see? No seriously, what the actual everloving fuck did I just see? (My swearing goes up exponentially the worse the writing is, I make no apology for that). Samsel-in-distress is writhing on the floor, while Dean is being choked by whiny dark!kaia complaining about her spear, so of course Jody has to be the one to rescue the Winchesters by whacking her on the back with her chair 🙄. To add insult to injury, we don’t even get a padabooty shot to make up for this atrocity we’ve had to endure. And believe me, I could see Jared desperately trying to give us that shot. I’m 😡

Now that Jody’s been shown to be more competent than the Winchesters because “girl power rules”, Sam’s able to stand up again and both he and Dean get their guns trained on dark!kaia.

Long boring scene later – mainly between Jody and Kaia because why write for the two guys you’re paying a quarter of a million dollars per episode for, when you can write for the cheap side characters and have Sam and Dean just stand in the scene doing practically nothing. Are you chuck damn insane with this nonsense? Oh sorry, upshot is Kaia is alive and Dark!Kaia can see her world ending and needs to open the portal to rescue her so she lured Sam and Dean to get to Jack (for him to open the portal like he did before). 😴

Jack and waste of space are playing connect 4. Jack wins. 😴

Sam and Jody arrive back at the bunker. We get a waste of screen time between Jody and waste of space who meet for the first time, with Sam once again being very expensive, but beautiful background. Dean comes in a little later so he can have a dramatic entrance with dun dun dun, dark!kaia. 😴

I love how the Scooby gang are all off to the side, having a conversation but Dark!kaia is clearly within listening distance so it just makes them look like dumbasses.

Jack’s off limits in helping Kaia (Parent!Dean said no), but Sam says they’re going to look for another way. Ummm… wasn’t that what the entirety of Season 13 was about and you needed the grace of an archangel for? You’re just going to “check the lore” and miraculously find in half an episode what you couldn’t find in the entirety of a season? This is bad. Waste of space is going to call plot device “fan favourite” Sergei. How they never stumbled across Sergei before, I have no idea as he seems to be the oracle as far as Drabbernatural is concerned.

Dark!Kaia is so whiny. They are terrible at writing teenage girls, it’s actually insulting at this point.

Oh, I thought Jack had found the right spell in research, but turns out the monster needed for the spell is now extinct as they read about it in dad’s journal. Wow, I don’t remember the journal being mentioned in a long time, surprised they remember it even existed, let alone used to be the holy grail of hunting and pretty much what the show centred around in the early seasons (*whispers*, when the show was good).

Wow, they even managed to make the 30 second broment boring. This is a new low. 😴

Jody and waste of space scene because yes, out of all the scenes I could have wished to see in the final season, this was on the list. 🙄. They talk about “fan favourite” Hunter!Barbie Claire (who couldn’t be in this episode because she’s all that and a kit kat now - Supernatural who? I don’t know her.). We find out Claire loved Kaia. I mean yeah, it’s totally normal to fall in love within 15 minutes of knowing someone. Fucking hell, someone take this pandering hack’s laptop away and save us from this trite aimed only at people who share 1 braincell who only wanted the relationship as it’s a “parallel” to Destiel. But since Dean dancing with a lamp a couple of episodes ago was a parallel for Destiel, why are we pandering to them. (*whispers* the writers are all narcassists and put stoking their ego before good writing).

This is bad. Did I mention this was bad? No, but it’s really, really bad.

Jack was listening in so he’s going to do something stupid so Claire gets her “love” back. Of course he is. 🙄

He goes to speak to Dark!Kaia. She’s still whiny, we’ll fast forward this garbage to the point Jack looks inside Dark!Kaia’s head to see what she sees, which is Kaia struggling in lizard world. 😴

Jack goes to Sam and Dean and says he’s helping Kaia because he owes her. Parent!Winchesters are funny, neither are happy with what Jack wants to do but they support their mother killing son.

Reaper is back to stop Jack doing something that is “Winchester dumb” and Jesus fuck, how much contempt does this hack writer have for the lead characters and the 99% of the audience who love them?

Anyway the next few minutes are how stupid the Winchesters are that they can’t even fix the warding on the bunker, and I hate this writer is getting paid actual money for handing this crap in. Unfortunately, he’s got his fellow writers and a couple of hundred sycophants telling him how absolutely amaze balls he is with the rest of the c list cast tweeting around each other at how good they all were.

This is my favourite bit of the episode – not really – but it amuses me the Hellers are making mountains out of “I need to borrow your angel” (😔 pandering) and completely ignoring that no-one bats an eye or puts up a token protest that the reaper needs to use waste of space to feed the wards to keep them running as long as they need for the spell to work. No one asks what harm that might do to him, waste of space is yet again, nothing more than... well, a waste of space really. Never change Hellers, never change. 😂. I’d like to point out that if Sam has been needed to charge it, the reaction from Dean would have been entirely different. 😂

Dean makes the spell, Sam reads the words, while 2 of the 3 side characters just stand there with no purpose. The warding going up throughout the bunker is the coolest part of this episode though. Special effects used their $2.50 dollar store budget wisely this week. 👍

10 second broment where Sam asks Dean how Sam’s feeling about what they’re doing.

Sam: honestly? It feels like we’re taking a big, probably stupid risk… it feels good. Disobeying cosmic entities, doing the dumb right thing, it feels like we’re back.

Note to Berens, I think you could have fit a few more dumb synonyms into that speech to let us know how you really feel). 🙄

I like how Sam checks Dean’s backpack in this scene though. I’m wondering if that was J2 rather than writing or direction.

Yet another scene between Jody and waste of space. 😴. Jody thanks him for staying behind to look after the reaper. Waste of space says he wants Jody to stay behind too.

Jody (out of absolutely nowhere): What is that? Some bs male chivalry thing?

Fuck off with your sjw feminist bullshit to please the single braincellers. With shitty lines like this, it’s absolutely no surprise Wayward didn’t get green lighted.

Waste of space talks about how he’ll never be able to make what’s right, what he “took from Claire”. Oh, you’ve remembered you possessed a child, incapable of consenting to being possessed, in order to blackmail her father to agree to being possessed again against his will. A father and husband you got killed because you provoked Lucifer by shouting “Hey assbutt” at him and getting Jimmy blown to smithereens? And you still wander round wearing his face and clothes? No, waste of space, you can’t ever make up for that.

Anyway, the reason he doesn’t want Jody going is that if Claire loses her on top of what she’s already lost (including Kaia), then it would kill her. Jody agrees. I meanwhile have to stop watching while I try to find my eyes which have rolled right out of my head at this point of the episode. 🙄

Found them, we’re back!

The reaper and Castiel put their hands on a stone tablet, not sure if we’ve seen it before or it’s just a random object the reaper has handy. 🤷‍♀️. The wards are supercharged (hiding the use of Jack’s powers from Chuck so he doesn’t alert Chuck that he’s back). Jack opens the portal and Dark!Kaia, Sam and Dean step through to lizard world.

It’s raining heavily, but not on Sam’s hair bizarrely. Denied wet!Sam so here’s a gif from a good episode.

And because I'm here for both my boys, here’s wet Dean as a bonus

They start walking to find Kaia and are set upon by those creatures from the first Star Wars movies – the ones that sell the droids and this bit is exciting, finally we get what I’m here for. Sam and Dean are going to kick as…. Or not, because why write Sam and Dean doing what they should be doing. The creatures don’t want to fight, they are scared of the world ending and run away. Totally anti-climactic. 😔

They find Kaia and in the most bizarre writing so far in a season chock full of bizarre writing, Kaia rushes to the guy who pulled a gun on her and forced her to do something she didn’t want to do, resulting in her getting stranded on that shitty lizard world alone, and instead of stabbing him, she… hugs him.

In fairness, it was ooc writing by I think Berens that had Dean pulling the gun on Kaia in the first place so this is just a really weak attempt at fixing the original bad writing, which only ends up compounding the problem.

Sam “the writers never bother to write in a hug for me” Winchester just stands back and smiles at Kaia. In fairness, Sam never getting hugged goes way back and I headcanon that Sam has “back off” vibes to protect himself. Common in younger siblings that experience a lot of loss early in their lives.

Kaia notices dark!kaia and looks about to kill her but Sam says that she helped them find Kaia. They go to leave but dark!kaia wants to stay because she doesn’t belong in their world. Sam says she’ll die and she seems to accept that, being left behind as Sam, Dean and Kaia run for the portal.

We see Dark!Kaia’s world pretty much ending, with her embracing it, just as Sam, Dean and Kaia step back through the portal.

Jody and Kaia hug and I think we’re supposed to feel 🥰 at that, but I care for neither of them (and Kaia was the one I originally liked in season 13, but Wayward af and the trite with Claire, plus dark!kaia episodes ruined it).

Kaia and Jack scene and Kaia looks really well put together considering the entire time we saw her in the AU, she was clearly having mental issues, but like a magic wand has been waved, she’s completely normal and healthy and no worse for 2 earth years in complete isolation in a world you have to fight to survive in every day. Miraculous, but that’s a Wayward af cardboard cutout character for you.

Jody comes in and offers Kaia a home at Jody’s home for cardboard cut out girl!power hunters. Kaia asks if Claire will be there and Jody says soon.

Sam, Dean and waste of space are crammed into a frame and we wouldn’t have this overcrowding in a scene if they didn’t insist on crowbarring him in. There would be more space in the scene if he wasn’t wasting it. I’m guessing it’s to frame Jack in the front with his “three dad’s” behind 🤮. It just looks bad.

After Kaia and Jody leave, they go back to speak to the reaper. They’ve remembered they have two stars in this framing, Sam and Dean are together in the front of the shot, Jack and waste of space are behind.

Sam asks the reaper if the warnings worked. She snidely answers that the fact they are all still alive says it worked. She’s killed milliseconds later by… Billie. Oh “fan favourite” reaper, so sad to see you go. Maybe you’ll be resurrected in a later episode. We can always hope.

“Hello boys”. Wait, isn’t that Crowley’s line (and before that Ellen?).

Oh my chucking lord, why the dramatical looks at Death and everyone being scared. This is bad. This is like that Clint Eastwood movie where they all look at each other.

It’s bad. Who directed this? Lol, I think it might have been Richard. He’s been hit or miss for me. And this one’s a miss.

Sam and Dean step aside to allow Billie to get to Jack and can I just say, no parent would ever do that. I don’t believe Sam and Dean would do that, but they do, do that (sniggers childishly at do do). They just step aside without saying a word, but who cares about them and what their characters would do. Certainly not the writer of this episode.

Death tells them they risked everything for one girl and for what, because all the worlds are dying.

Waste of space says it’s Chuck and glares impotently at Death (I think that’s what he’s doing, he might just need the bathroom again, who knows anymore tbh), while she agrees with him, saying Chuck has been wiping out galaxies for the end.

Sam asks what her end game is. He asks how Jack is going to kill god, what the plan is.

Long, boring monologue later, God has a book in Death’s library, meaning he can die. Billy: Everything dies” 😂

We flashback to original death in the pizza place with Dean and I wish they hadn’t. The difference between that scene and anything in the last season is glaring. But I was right from something we were talking about a few weeks ago, because we get this quote from Death to remind us;

Death: In the end, I reap him too

Original!Dean: God? You’ll reap god

Death: oh yes

Waste of space, “And why would god write the blueprint to his own death?” (that would have been a good line for Sam or Dean who have barely had anything to say or do this episode as it is, and they’re in the scenes just standing there getting paid a quarter of a million dollars to watch someone who hung up his acting shoes before season 7, give this line, and I can’t with this).

Anyway, god didn’t write the book, the books write themselves.

Another boring monologue, the upshot of which is Chuck had to write himself into the framework, hence he has to have a book, but it’s not explained very well and I’m fake coughing bullshit on this plot device as it doesn’t make any sense but I throw my hands up in the air. If the writers don’t care about even trying to make it make sense, then why the fuck should I put any effort in to explain it away. 😴

God hasn’t read his book and can’t unless Billie lets him. Sam asks if Jack is in god’s book. She says yes and “so are you. I told you Dean, you and your brother have work to do, this is your destiny. You are the messengers of god’s destruction.”

Oh great... they’re messenger boys now? Awesome.

Back with Chuck, he’s still in Radio Shed, watching a number of televisions and all of them show worlds being destroyed.

Chuck gets up to leave, the “fan favourite” Radio Shed employee asks if he’ll be saved. Oh you sweet summer child!

Chuck says he’ll be fine, but as he leaves we see a meteor hit the store (and show, if you think that was a surprise twist ending, it was flashing neon lights from the very beginning).

The episode seemed to be double the length of normal, but nothing really happened and it was boring af.

Somebody get this show a defibrillator. Stat! Oh wait, on second thoughts, slaps “Do not resuscitate” sign onto show. Let it die in peace.

#spn spoilers #15.12 #galaxy brain #spn critical #very critical

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i-know-like-four-things · 4 years ago

Note

For the song prompt thing can you do punk rock princess by something corporate (destiel ofc)

Firstly, thank you so much for giving me this prompt. I absolutely adored the song, and I have added it to several playlist. Secondly, this was really difficult because that song gave me so many ideas, and it was very difficult to chose just one. If anyone wants to read any of my other ideas from this prompt, let me know.

Also, I love you @destiel-221b-sabriel and this fic of course is for you, but our dear friend @navajolovesdestiel seems to be in a bit of a bind, so this is also for Shawn. Let’s help him out if we can!

Now to the fic

Read on AO3

When Cas first moved to the city, he tried to find all of his “spots.” All the places where he could find like-minded people, and where he felt at home. He found his coffee shop, the library, his tree in the park, and finally, his bar.

His bar was the last thing the Cas found. It was an old, grungy, dive bar that looked like it had stepped right out of the 90’s. It was the kind of place where you walk off the sidewalk down into the bar. It had bad lighting, red carpet, and a little stage along the far wall. The bar was on the side wall, and there were tables and booths all throughout the place.

Every Thursday and Sunday, the bar hired a musician to come in for entertainment. Cas always made sure to show up on those days.

After a few weeks, Cas noticed that the same man kept coming back. He normally played on Thursdays, but he would occasionally come on a Sunday. This man was tall, with gorgeous Texas bowlegs, and soft brown hair. His hair was spiked up into a faux-hawk style, the tips dyed blue. Even from afar, Cas could tell his hands were well-worn and skilled from all the guitar playing. Some nights, this man would wear jeans and a flannel, but when the nights were hotter, the man would put on a black or gray tank top, and Cas could admire his tattoos.

Cas never sat close to the stage, he didn’t want to be noticed, but he could make out some of the tattoos on the man’s arms. His left arm was covered with flowers and birds and other plants. He looked like he had gathered all the beautiful parts of the world and plastered them on his skin. His right arm had a little less coverage, but it was a stark contrast to the left arm. Here, he had grayscale art, some that looked like sketches from a notebook, and some that looked like quotes or words. Cas would bet that the ink continued under his shirt, but the man never took off the tank top.

Cas came to the bar night after night, week after week, feeling inexplicably drawn to the man with the voice smooth like honey. Cas watched this man with rapt attention, and soon he began dreaming about him.

One Thursday night, Cas was sitting in his usual booth, with his usual drink. The man was singing, wearing a dark tank top. Usually, he sang classic rock, with the occasional alt rock song, but tonight was different. The band started playing the chords to a song that sounded like an early 2000’s emo song. The man’s hands began to caress the guitar, and he looked at the floor. As soon as the man sang the first lines, he locked eyes with Cas.

Cas didn’t hear what the song was about, only that it sounded beautiful coming from that man, because he was too busy staring into his eyes. Cas got lost in those eyes, in that face, in those lips. He stared and stared, feeling lust curl in his gut. The song came to an end, and the man excused himself, saying he was taking a break. The man walked right up to Cas’ table and sat down across from him.

“So,” the man began, his voice sounding richer up close, “I’ve seen you around. What's your name, handsome?”

“Castiel,” he responded, holding out his hand, “but you can call me Cas.”

“Well, Cas, it's a pleasure to meet you. Name’s Dean.”

Dean reached out his hand to put it in Cas’ and Cas took it. Dean tried to pull away, but Cas held on gently, turning his hand over to admire the art on his arm.

“I really like your tattoos,” Cas said.

“Thank you. Do you have any ink?”

“I have a couple pieces, nothing as big as yours, though.”

“You’ll have to show me sometime,” Dean said with a wink.

Cas chuckled, but that was the only response Dean got to his obvious flirting.

“So Dean,” Cas asked with a smirk as he leaned closer to Dean to growl in his ear, “would you let me take you on a date?”

Dean closed his eyes and bit his lip for a moment, before he looked at Cas again. “Yeah, Cas. You can take me on a date.”

#Destiel #SPN #supernatural fanfic #dean winchester #Castiel #Song prompts #punk!dean #modern au #Cameron Black's Reads #my writing

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eddiediaz-buckley · 5 years ago

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Let's talk about the hands because I have Thoughts. You don't hug your coworker like that lol not even family, let's be honest. They have to be crushing hard or AT LEAST dating. Something, idk. But this CAN'T be platonic. There are too many little things to scream CANON but my lizard brain says that maybe Ryan Murphy is playing us and idk man, i'm emo

wow I am so glad you are here, because YES let’s talk about hands. i am also extremely emo and have been for 2 days. i didn’t realize how much I was into hands until this, but looking back, yeah I definitely have a thing for hands no matter what ship we’re talking about

but you are absolutely right, who tf hugs people like that? even my closest friends I dont hug like that. like yeah maybe I’ll go in and squeeze them tight for a few seconds before letting go, but in no way do i pull away and linger by putting my hands on their waist?? that is such an intimate thing to do honestly like who does that except for romantic partners??? and yeah they’re clearly been spending a lot of time together, Eddie clearly has access to Buck’s apt whenever he feels like it, but like are they secretly dating or just denying their feelings? could be either.

see, one one hand, I’m like, Ryan Murphy knows what he’s doing. he is behind Glee and AHS after all, and most of us know there is some quality gay content there. there was a queer double wedding in Glee for pete’s sake. there could absolutely be 2 queer couples in this show as well. and with all the content in the premiere, i have to think they’re planning on buddie endgame, cause there’s too much there for it not to be. everything seems so purposeful. the hug. the pan to Eddieafter a mention of a “match” for Buck.the apartment thing. them practically being a family with Chris. “his Buck”. this has to be a set up or I will commit arson.

and then the other side of me, the paranoid side, is like “this is a queerbait. this is destiel and you will never get what you want”

but this is Ryan Murphy and he has delivered before. god willing he will deliver again. please sir im begging you.

also P.S. i do in fact ship Malec but have never seen the show they are adorable okay sorry this got so long lol

#savanna answers #9-1-1 #911 fox #buddie #sorry this got so long my b

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poorreputation · 5 years ago

Text

SPN 1X01 Pilot Retrospective Meta

Tag list for old episodes meta! (let me know if you wanna be tagged):

@emblue-sparks @metafest @verobatto-angelxhunter @evvvissticante @dea-stiel @sudo-apt-get-destiel @wildligia (tumbler’s not letting me tag you, sorry)

Pre re-watch notes/things to touch on:

Comparing the Woman in White to John, Sam and Mary/hindsight notes.

S1 motivations vs. S14/15 endgame.

Episode Notes:

Written by: Eric Kripke

Directed by: David Nutter

A long post, so I will put it behind the cut.

Lawrence, Kansas

22 years ago

We begin our tale with Mary bringing Dean into Sam's nursery to say goodnight. John enters the room, and in a nice bit of short-hand, he's wearing a USMC (United States Marine Corps) shirt, showing John was a soldier.

There's a shot of Mary and John in a picture. We already know they're married, so why is it here?

Mary thinks it's John in the nursery, only to find him asleep in the living room in front of the TV. (again, a connection to John's past, he's fallen asleep watching a war movie)

Something that'll become a continuity issue, later in the show: Mary's many years of experience being a Hunter, only to not recognize the flickering of lights as a sign of trouble.

Of course, Mary's wearing a white gown, (white is usually seen as a pure color/ of purity, but in this instance a connection to the Woman in White/see Jess later)

Mary's dead, and everyone involved is scarred for life.

The look on John's face, as we finish the Lawrence sequence, is that of a broken man, who's seen something that will eat away at his mind.

Stanford University Present Day (2005)

Okay, the first image we see of Jess is her in a nurse's costume, white with red trimming. Jess also has medium length curly blond hair. Guys, she looks like Mary, especially in Mary's death scene (white gown, covered in blood).

We focus in on the picture of Mary and John for visual shorthand, confirming this is a grown-up Sam.

We establish Sam is "scary" smart, has aspirations of becoming a lawyer, and has a job interview on Monday.

Jess: "Knock 'em dead on Monday." laying it on thick, Kripke.

Sam: "What would I do without you?"

Jess: "Crash and burn."

*smooch*

Damn you, Kripke.

Night scene, and holy shit, why do Sam and Jess have so many plants? Why doesn't future Sam have plants in the bunker, you know, something low maintenance?

Dean, why the fuck can't you use the door? Or a phone?

From the get-go, Dean's cocky, suffers from eldest sibling syndrome, and is a shameless horn-dog.

Sam: "He's on a Miller time shift." See, when I first watched the pilot, years ago, I didn't realize this was Sam implying John was a drunk. These things would just fly over my head.

Sam wants to make a point of including Jess in the conversation, of being honest. And yet, the moment Dean says John is on a hunt and hasn't returned, that honesty goes right out the window. More on that later.

Sam and Dean's exposition dump in the hallway, a part of me feels it's an odd way to catch the audience up to speed, while the other part of me knows this is how families argue when they spend most of their time biting their tongues. Sam especially seems the type to mull over his thoughts, storing away comebacks for the perfect moment when they'll be most effective (like later in the episode). Also, it's been years since the brothers have seen each other (we're told later it's been at least 2 years since Dean bothered Sam), they're so icy towards one another.

Sam: "You think Mom would've wanted this for us?" we'd find this out later in S4, but, no. Funny enough, maybe if Mary shared her knowledge of Hunting, something more could've been done (foreshadowing).

Dean: "What're you gonna do? Just live some normal, apple pie life?" Dean, if you'd only taken your own advice, we could've avoided S6.

Sam, paraphrasing John: "If you're gonna go, stay gone." Well, that's only very emotionally manipulative.It does, however, remind me of the U.S. military’s views on those dishonorably discharged, and since John raised them as "warriors", it's not a stretch to think, in a time of crisis, John treated his sons as soldiers.

Dean: "I can't do this alone."

Sam: "Yes, you can."

Dean: "Yeah, well, I don't want to."

This exchange, this vulnerability from Dean, after his initial introduction of being a cocky asshole who hits on his brother's girlfriend, shows just how much of a facade Dean's attitude is. In the end, he's a kid scared of losing his Dad.

It's this vulnerability that convinces Sam to listen.

Come the fuck on, "I can never go home." after we establish Sam left John and Dean, left Hunting behind, and was told to never come back (home). KRIPKE. YOU'RE *not* SUBTLE.

2 years, Dean says, since they last talked. Either Sam entered college late, (20 rather than 18) or Sam and Dean kept in touch even after Sam and John's blow-out fight.

Again, Jess pries for more info, and Sam changes the subject. Nope, that’s not gonna bite him in the ass, at all.

Jericho, California

(insert biblical/wrestling reference here)

We meet monster fodder, I mean, some random dude, who tells his girlfriend Amy over the phone he can't see her that night. He slows down to a stop and picks up the Woman in White.

Anyway, another example of a young woman with curly, medium length hair in a white gown/dress. I mean, her house even looks a bit like John and Mary's old place.

We get a brief, blurry shot of the Woman in White and her kids. Sorry, but if you're familiar with the legend of her/La Llorona, it's easy to see where this is going.

Oh, and whatshisface is dead.

Chips and soda. Breakfast of champions.

Sam's being a real sassy bitch about how Dean and John get their funds. I get it, world-building for the audience, bit it shows just how passive aggressive Sam is in these early seasons; Dean's clearly playing moderator between Sam and an absent John.

Sam: "Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metalica? It's the greatest hits of mullet rock." Sam, it's not Dean's fault you have poor taste. Shut your cakehole.

Sam: "Sammy's a chubby 12 year old." or, it's what a big brother says to his infant sibling to calm him down, oh wait.

Monster bait's name is Troy. Yeah, I don't care.

Dean sassing the officer and Sam stomping Dean's foot. Yep, they're brothers. This interaction is where their chemistry really starts to shine through.

Amy and her friend are peak mid-2000's goths/emos, good lord.

Dean's "I told you so" smart-ass look as the friend shares the rumors in town, he's such an older sibling.

They... they never tell Amy what happened to her asshole boyfriend, huh? Well. Sucks for Amy.

Researching on a public library computer, fucking hell. (nothing wrong with that, I’ve worked in a public library, but they’re doing super-secret Hunter’s stuff in such a public place)

Have it paused on a photo of Constance Welch, the Woman in White, and the article mentions her husband's exact line of work; associate manager who works the graveyard shift at Frontier auto salvage. Gives me shades of Bobby, who also lost his wife under tragic circumstances.

A mother leaves her child unattended, comes back to check on them, tragedy strikes. Or, so the story goes.

Dean confronts Sam about living a life of willful ignorance, and even asks if Jess knows the truth. Sam makes it clear she doesn't and he intends it to stay that way, as Dean sarcastically quips, "That's healthy".

Really, the more I think about it, the more S6 feels like the inverse of S1; Dean tries to live a normal life, Sam comes stomping in to rain on his parade. Lisa is kept largely in the dark about Dean's past, and gets hurt because of it.

Dean: "You can pretend all you want, Sammy, but sooner or later, you're gonna have to face up to who you are."

Sam: "And who's that?"

Dean: "One of us."

Sam: "No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life."

Sam thinks Dean's just talking about Hunting, but Dean means more than that, he means family. One of us, Dad and me, a Hunter and a Winchester.

Sam: "Mom's not coming back." and so on about how he doesn’t even remember Mary, doesn’t share John’s obsession.

Dean: "No chick flick moments." Dean, dude, bro, you're the one who started this by breaking into Sam's place like a dramatic bitch, and then proceeded to give life/relationship advice. It's already a chick flick.

John's room being covered head-to-toe in case notes, only to come to the obvious conclusion it's the Woman in White. But, Sam said, because of the salt line, John was worried. Now, as far as I can remember, John was never a target of this spirit, so, I think he was paranoid about Yellow Eyes. After all, John had notes on devils/demons up, too, so maybe. I could be wrong.

There's something amusing about Sam and Dean's first duo Hunt, one without John, includes one of them getting arrested. Just, how rare that happens in the rest of the show, compared to how many laws they break daily.

Sam talks to Joseph Welch, who seems to wear the same clothes as Bobby. Also, Sam looks like a giant standing next to him.

Joseph lies to Sam's face about his and Constance's marriage, and it takes Sam a moment to work up the nerve to call him out on it. Or, it's Sam losing his temper. They're dealing with a murderous ghost, after all, and this guy wants to hide the truth.

Sam's done with lying witnesses, and now he's making fake calls to the cops. Gloves are OFF.

So, it's revealed John's purposefully leaving Sam and Dean clues, the journal, and the coordinates, but won't outright tell the truth.

Sam: "I'm not unfaithful. I've never been." See, Sam, that's only in the cheating department. You are, however, keeping Jess in the dark about dangerous stuff. Can any relationship with such big lies every be a faithful one?

Again, the imagery of the flickering lights. A standard in the show later for when a ghost's around, but considering all the visual parallels between the Woman in White and Mary, I think it's intentional.

That CGI of the ghosts vanishing was kinda shit, though. So is the sound of water swirling down a drain, I'm now just thinking of a toilet.

Dean: "I'll take you home." and there, in an episode where the ghost is afraid to go home and face the consequences of their actions, Sam too must go back to Jess.

Sam discovering Jess' body on the ceiling, as the room's engulfed in flames, never fails to give me chills. Hot damn.

Post Episode Notes:

While the pilot is a treasure trove of world building, plotting of character arcs, and chemistry between Jared and Jensen, it still doesn't make up for the fact it's bookended with 2 women getting fridged. Mary and Jess don't get to be characters, only fuel for man-pain, and argue with me all you want, but Mary's send-off in S14 is far superior to what she got in the pilot.

I remember seeing Kripke discuss how many drafts they went through while writing the pilot, and it feels like that at quite a few points. Like maybe the sheriff was to get more time, or Troy's father, who I believe is a cop, would've been more vital to the plot. And Amy, who'll spend who knows how many weeks and months putting up missing person posters for Troy.

I believe Kripke also said they'd considered killing John at the end, rather than Jess. I think, and this is pure speculation, the more they went into the lore for the Woman in White, the more they knew Jess had to die. I don't like it, wish they could've done it different, but it fits the story they wanted to tell.

The Woman in White, John, Mary and Sam, in hindsight

It's a retcon from S4, but if Mary was honest with John about her past as a Hunter, maybe they'd have a better chance with fighting Azazel. It's tragically paralleled to Sam not telling Jess about his own past, which may have prevented her death. And while you could say Heaven and Hell would still have their way, and shape Sam and Dean the way they want to, I'd like to think, given the chance, free will could prevail, And, look at how often keeping secrets is framed as one of the worst things the characters could do to each other?

Additionally, if John had been honest with Sam and Dean about what he wanted them to do, and what kind of danger they were really in, maybe Sam wouldn't have left Jess alone.

Thank you for reading this monstrosity of a meta, I hope you enjoyed/found it interesting!

#SPN #meta #S1 #1X01 #Pilot #Sam #Dean #Back when they were babies #good lord #writers #writing

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analyzingdestiel · 6 years ago

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DESTIEL REVIEW FOR 7X23: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

So in this episode, Castiel is still mentally unwell. Most of his scenes seem to be used for comedic effect. He is very focused on protecting and saving animals and seems to truly enjoy them. Most of these scenes aren't really Destiel related, even those that they share.

To start, Dean informs us that the last time he called Castiel, Castiel appeared to him naked on his Impala covered in bees. I had imagined at first that Castiel removed his clothing due to being "attacked" by bees. But Castiel is an angel so being stung would not hurt him. Which means he appeared naked with bees on him for other reasons. Aside from the obvious insanity. I feel he was perhaps trying to be "one" with the bees. Or it could have been some deranged fantasy of his that he was partaking in; it's hard to say. Perhaps in a deep part of his mind, there is an erotic reason for this related to Dean though I feel for the most part it was meant to be viewed as a random act of insanity. I'm honestly not reading too much into it because Castiel is not himself and has been acting out of character. I want to determine how believable the pairing is based on regular Castiel and regular Dean, not the warped versions of either character. Because when they are warped, they are not themselves, and so are quite simply different. _______________________________________________

SCENE 1

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MEG You deal with him. I can't anymore.

DEAN You might want to be more specific.

MEG I was laying low halfway across the world when emo boy pops up out of nowhere and zaps me right back here.

DEAN Why?

MEG Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first.

_______________________________________________

I find it interesting how often outsiders tease about their relationship and Castiel’s feelings for Dean. Though this is not a literal statement coming from Meg, it does show how she feels about the two of them and their relationship.

Dean’s reaction shows discomfort and irritation though this isn’t proof against anything. Dean not only realizes she is trying to irk him, but he also dislikes Meg entirely. One could even say Dean was irritated over the fact that Meg labeled Castiel as being her boyfriend. He might have tensed his jaw out of discomfort over his own feelings that he’s trying to repress. It’s hard to say, though this is neither proof for or against Destiel because it is not a literal statement but also shows us that yet another person looks at Dean and Castiel’s relationship in a romantic light.

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SCENE 2

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CROWLEY [to MEG] Stay, won't you. There's really nowhere to run.

MEG runs for the door, but CROWLEY appears in front of her, blocking her exit.

CROWLEY Don't even think of smoking out, pussycat. I've got eyes all over the place.

CASTIEL Leave her be. _______________________________________________

CROWLEY Certainly. Oh, bonus. Meg, I'm gonna scoop you up, take you home, and roast you till you're jerky. [CASTIEL starts to move towards CROWLEY.] But not... yet. Cas can have you for now. Hilariously, it seems he'd be upset at losing you. And the boys need Cas to get Dick. Don't they, Cas? _______________________________________________

We are still being shown that Castiel is protective of and cares for Meg at this point, though I still don't consider this proof against or for anything because Castiel is currently unlike himself. If I am to really analyze what he feels for Meg, I would need for him to be regular Castiel. I feel the same way about how he is behaving with Dean currently. Anything he does during episodes where he isn't the true Castiel, I don't consider entirely relevant. How Dean reacts and feels during these episodes I feel is most important because Dean is still himself. _______________________________________________

Later Castiel makes Dean and Sam a sandwich made of only natural ingredients. It shows that he does still care for them and wishes to assist them. _______________________________________________

SCENE 3

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DEAN You got anything to say on the topic of Dicks? Crowley was pretty sure that you could help.

CASTIEL I can't help. You understand? I can't. I destroyed... everything, and I will destroy everything again. Can we please just leave it at that?

DEAN No. [He gets up.] No, we can't. _______________________________________________

The choice of wording is deliberate, here. It's been deliberate most times through the show with Dick. Dean asking Castiel if he has anything to say on "the topic of dicks" and saying "Crowley was pretty sure that you could help" most certainly seemed to be deliberate. Saying "on the topic of Dicks" is not how it would usually be stated. It would be said "do you have anything to say on the topic of Dick", whether there are two of him or not. It was done on purpose.

So the hidden, yet not so hidden, message was this:

"Do you like dick/men? Crowley's pretty sure you do."

At this point, the joke may be done with and the writers may have intended for us to drop it and move on. Though there's also the chance that the writers were hiding a secret conversation here as well. The secret message of asking if Castiel likes men can be compared to Dean asking if Castiel likes HIM. And Castiel's response is that he doesn't want to because he feels he'll just ruin everything (their relationship) like he did last time.

I won't say this is absolute and can't even consider if proof towards anything though it is at the least, subtext. _______________________________________________

SAM Dean...

DEAN We can't leave it. You let these friggin' things in. So you don't get to make a sandwich. You don't get a damned cat. Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas. Clean up your mess!

CASTIEL puts down the dish he is holding and walks over to DEAN.

CASTIEL You know... we should play Twister.

SAM and DEAN look at each other. CASTIEL disappears. _______________________________________________

I find it interesting that whenever Dean gets angry with him, Castiel turns toward playing games with him. When he first went to confront Castiel, Castiel wanted to play "sorry". It made sense to want to play this game because he was feeling apologetic. I feel that there is some sort of subtext going on with the games even; I feel that there are a lot of hidden meanings the past few episodes, especially where Castiel is concerned, though some are not very clear. There's just this sense that what we're seeing on screen, what's being said, is not all there is to it. Wanting to play Twister with Dean after Dean having attacked him is interesting. I wonder what it is that Twister is supposed to be equivalent to. Obviously the game "Sorry" would be Castiel feeling sorry. What would the game "Twister" mean he feels? Perhaps it means he feels he is confused, "twisted up" - unsure. It's hard to say. It could honestly be random but I just have this sort of feeling that there's more to this than is being made clear. _______________________________________________

SCENE 4

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CASTIEL is playing Uno at the table. DEAN walks over to him.

DEAN Cas, I need a wingman.

CASTIEL Dean...

DEAN

You don't want to jump into the jaws of death, that's... fine. How about we run a little errand?

_______________________________________________

Now Castiel is alone, and so what does he play? Uno. Which means "one". Perhaps he was lonely and so this is why he decided to play Uno. This can't be mere coincidence. _______________________________________________

SCENE 5

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youtube

Inside the barn we can see a boat and a vehicle is covered with a tarp. We hear the sound of angel wings and then see DEAN and CASTIEL standing near the covered vehicle.

DEAN Thanks for the lift.

CASTIEL My pleasure. [DEAN starts towards the vehicle.] Dean...

DEAN [turning back to CASTIEL] Cas, we've been over it. I get it – you can't help.

CASTIEL If we attack Dick and fail, then you and Sam die heroically, correct?

DEAN I don't know. I guess.

CASTIEL And at best, I die trying to fix my own stupid mistake. Or... I don't die – I'm brought back again. I see now. It's a punishment resurrection. It's worse every time.

DEAN I'm sorry. Uh, we're talking about God crap, right?

CASTIEL I'm not good luck, Dean. _______________________________________________

Castiel is showing us that he feels he will only make things worse. He is still apologetic and there's this sense of self-loathing. He makes it clear that he feels he is inferior to Dean and that he is not helpful, but instead, a hindrance. Perhaps this is why we've felt this sort of separation between the two; not only is Castiel currently insane but he feels he is a hindrance. _______________________________________________ DEAN Yeah, but you know what? Bottom of the ninth, and you're the only guy left on the bench... Sorry, but I'd rather have you, cursed or not. And anyway, nut up, all right? We're all cursed. I seem like good luck to you?

[CASTIEL stares at DEAN.]

DEAN

What?

CASTIEL Well, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I detect a note of forgiveness.

DEAN Yeah, well, I'm probably gonna die tomorrow, so...

CASTIEL Well, I'll go with you. And I'll do my best.

DEAN smiles slightly and nods.

DEAN Thanks. _______________________________________________

I watched this episode with another person and I felt I would state what they had said during this scene. They are not a Destiel shipper but during this scene, they thought after Dean asks "What?" and Castiel looks at him, that Castiel was going to say "you love me".

They thought the conversation was going to go like this: [Castiel stares at Dean] Dean: What? Castiel: You love me.

Honestly during that scene, I had felt similarly to the way the other viewer was feeling. There was obvious love on Castiel's face and in his eyes, his smile was sincere and genuine and Castiel in this scene is the most like regular Castiel we've seen thus far since he's woke from the catatonic state. It seems as if, that for a moment, Dean pulled him back.

I also wanted to mention just how happy Castiel is that Dean has forgiven him; you can nearly feel the relief and the sheer joy in realizing that Dean has finally forgiven him.

Also the fact that Castiel sensed Dean's discomfort with the sentimentality is interesting. Castiel knows Dean doesn't like talking about these sort of things and it helps you to realize that if Castiel senses this discomfort, that he would sense other discomforts as well. Take, for example, Dean's discomfort over Castiel invading his "personal space" in . Dean's looking from Castiel's eyes to his lips repeatedly showed us that Dean was thinking of kissing Castiel and that this was most likely his reason for feeling uncomfortable. One could say Dean is fearful of his own desires and it's why he reacts with such discomfort, and Castiel would be able to pick up on this. And he doesn't like making Dean feel uncomfortable. Just as a guardian angel wouldn't - they try very hard in fact not to cause you discomfort and to selflessly guide and help you through your life. Guardian angels never force their own desires upon the humans they assist and so even if Castiel is in love with Dean, if he senses Dean isn't ready to be with him in any romantic sense, Castiel wouldn't push it.

Either way, this is a touching scene, and we're being shown that Dean finally forgives Castiel after all this time. And just after Castiel realizes that Dean forgives him, he decides he will go with Dean. That separation I've been feeling between them seems gone now. There is that sense of togetherness once again. The scene with the trench coat was stage one towards forgiveness, but this feels to me to have sealed the deal. Dean forgives Castiel.

Castiel is still somewhat out of character but this scene showed us a bit of the Castiel we’re used to seeing.

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SCENE 6

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DEAN We're in Purgatory? How do we get out?

CASTIEL I'm afraid we're much more likely to be ripped to shreds.

DEAN turns and sees two large creatures with red eyes watching him.

DEAN Cas, I think we better –

CASTIEL has disappeared.

DEAN Cas? _______________________________________________

I feel we're supposed to have taken this as Castiel abandoning Dean though I realize at this point that that is not the case. Castiel seems even more like himself now and I wonder if he’s going to be “regular Castiel” from here on out. _______________________________________________

The rating doesn't go up or down with this one. And that concludes season 7.

DESTIEL RATING AFTER EPISODE (BASED ON HOW BELIEVABLE): 4.7/10

#destiel #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #deanstiel #supernatural #7x23 #i detect a note of forgiveness #analyze

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lassies · 5 years ago

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klonopin rambles

(insert the amazing deancas scene from 15x02)

cas knows that what he did was all him and his choices. him being resurrected again and again was gods meddling. but rebelling for dean,taking on sams insanity, choosing to raise and care for jack, ALL THE THINGS HE DID he did it for the people he loves. motherfucker wasnt even supposed to feel love.

that is ALL castiel babey.

castiel has always been one to disobey heavens orders, of course he was chucks favorite castiel. bc even after a bunch of factory resets, castiel still finds himself rebelling, or atleast questioning heavens orders.

and the apocalypse world cas was not like that, he may have been rebellious in the distant past, but without dean in that world, there is no one to help him down the path of free will. so the castiel we see is a factory reset version...that stuck...(i guess? idk hes different...) and is still taking heavens/michaels orders....not our cas at all. no wonder he abandoned that dimension.

like i bet god was losing his goddamn mind when dean broke through castiels mind control by saying HE FUCKING NEEDS HIM (should be love but ok jensen) which btw was all after naomi literally trained castiel to not hesitate when it came time to kill dean. she made him kill THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS copies of dean to even be considered ready. i bet that shit was also funny to chuck.

like, dean is praying and praying for cas to come back-literally right after he stayed in purgatory for a year, EVEN THOUGH HE HAD A WAY OUT, in order to find castiel and bring him back to earth with him. (and even tho he failed chuck made sure that cas came back to him :))))) )

and while the man who started out thinking prayer was bullshit, is now praying daily for castiel to come back, and castiel is in heaven being forced to kill dean over and over again. damn god probably lost his shit at that one LMFAO. bro. he LOVES that deancas drama. same.

but like dean said in fucking 8x17, he needs castiel. early season 13 is the prime example (dean emo abt cas dying) dean even prayed to god to bring cas back ???? and p sure god was like “nah, not yet.”

but then jack came in and started ruining his story. im sure god would’ve eventually gotten bored without cas (like he did in season 7 👀) and brought him back eventually, but chuck barely got to enjoy all the nephilim and emo dean lashing out drama bullshit before jack fuckin awoke cas in the empty not even that long after castiels death!!! lame!!

i bet that was the first straw for god. and shit! jack killed michael! i bet that made chuck absolutely pissed! (and honestly, scared of this powerful being.)u kno he wanted an apocalypse! and atleast see how the winchesters would deal with it/try to stop it all. but jack stepped in, AGAIN. marys death was perfect though. he could get jack off the board, and even make on of his fathers pull the trigger. good entertainment right there (to chuck atleast lmao).

but the jig is up and chuck has said FUCK this dimension, and undid everything sam and dean ever did. he is leaving them to get massacred, and without gods help, team free will stay dead this time.

except i guess he forgot why he liked those winchesters. they are best out of all the incarnations of them, always able to deal with what god throws at them.

and the hope that they get through this and finally live a life without strings being pulled is whats going to get them through this. but dean needs to recognize that the obstacles were placed by god yes BUT how they ran the course was all them. cas even said this to him. dean is angry that he never had any control of the life ending events in his life, but i hope cas helped him start to realize that he had control on how he handled these obstacles!

the crazy ways he has saved the world, the family he built, the LOVE in his life, was all him!!

castiel tonight said “no dean, what we have is REAL.” and im fucked up rn. castiel knows he loves dean, just like he knows that rebelling for dean fucked up probably like, a million years of the strings being pulled perfectly for the (first, lol) apocalypse. chuck is even surprised by it, the fact castiel has given up everything to help dean and to fight for whats right.

theyre making it up as they go

and guys

THEY FELL IN LOVE

not even on purpose, deancas wasnt in the script (which i can only assume is gods script too). destiel is accidental by the writers, and i think thats a perfect fucking parallel to whats going on here.

like its funny how god is like the writers throwing all these weird ass big bads and high stakes cuz it sounds interesting

and yet the fans care more about the characters and their choices and outcomes and relationships and so on. all of which is what their free will allowed them to do, and that is the huge focus this season.

and while maybe their free will was limited, but they still had it.

and thanks to that free will, or what may they had of it, cas fell in love with dean.

even the writers, and spns god, they did not intend for dean and castiels relationship to evolve into...this...

anyways dean is scared that theyre relationship (no matter platonic or familial or romantic etcetc) is all chucks doing and everything he felt has been fake. but castiel knows god damn well it isnt.

what they have is REAL

and now i can confidently say that castiel loves dean 100%. romantically. obviously i believed it but i mean, i couldnt really explain it well, until this scene of course. this scene hits the nail in the fucking coffin.

im aware that this can be read as that team free will and their actions are all real but while thats true....i truly do not believe that this is what this scene is talking about...

castiel has laid it all out on the table finally, it is now deans turn.

#and even if the line was for tfw on the surface #it was def also just meant for dean #intense looks guys #deancas #does this count as meta #this is prob i coherent im fucking high #ves talks #LMAO

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isayimbibutimprobablynot · 5 years ago

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For Some Reason, I Wrote An Essay About Why Destiel Can Never Be Canon...

In the season 6 episode “You Can’t Handle The Truth”, Gabriels Trumpet is in town with the Winchesters. Dean wants to know the truth about what happened to Sammy in the cage and why he’s such a dick now that he’s back. His words are along the lines of “I only wanna know the truth” setting off the power of the trumpet and making everybody admit truths to him. For instance, the woman in the bar tells him that she is only leaning on the table so that Dean would look at her chest... wink wink. As Dean leaves the bar, he calls Bobby on his cell who tells him that he’s drinking milk, Sam is a better hunter, Dean is his favourite and his guilty pleasure is a TV show. The Winchester finds out that the truth thing does work over the phone and prepares to ask Sammy about why he’s such a dick. All that aside, Castiel is in that episode. Even if the duo doesn’t speak to each other in the time Dean becomes a magnet for truths and when they kill the goddess, if they truly did have feelings for each other, it would have been confirmed in that episode. Furthermore, in a later season, Cas is dying on a couch in a warehouse with the Winchesters on the verge of tears. The angel says to Dean “I love you” then continues to speak to the rest of the people in the scene saying “I love all of you, you’re my family” So, theoretically, if Dean and Castiel were in love, it would have been revealed at this point and they wouldn’t call each other family. The two are merely best friends who love each other like family. Although, yes, they have their homo moments, the duo is most definitely not in love. For example, Dean says to the angel in season 4, “Oh, you know what, Cas? Blow me” Another time they share a homo moment is when Sam has been trying to get hold of Castiel for days and as soon as Dean calls, the angel appears stating that he and Dean share a “more profound bond”. Later on, in the show, Sam, Dean and Bobby are in the latter’s basement. Sam and Bobby ask Dean to call Castiel. To which the agitated hunter replies “it’s not like he lives in my ass”. After he says this, Castiel appears right behind him, making the hunter jump and say “Cas, get out of my ass”. The angel tilts his head to the side like a confused puppy and replies “I was never in your-” Stopping halfway through his sentence, suggesting that maybe Cas was in Dean’s ass at some point. But most certainly not in the context that Dean said it upon Cas’ appearance. However, all the homo aside, we come to Deans love for women and a seemingly unhealthy addiction to sex, slappers and strip clubs. Dean will literally take any woman to a bed who is willing to let him. It could be suggested that Dean is just shagging women to cover up his sexuality but even in episodes where there have been gay people, Dean seems to get really uncomfortable. One exemplar of this is the season 6 episode, “Live Long And Twi-hard”, where the Winchester brothers are at an Emo bar filled with vampire-wannabes. Two men across the bar from Dean walk up to each other and passionately kiss making Dean flinch and cringe at the sight of their heated make-out session. However, this could just be perceived as jealousy as Dean isn’t committing these acts with his angel, Castiel. Later on, in that same episode, the Alpha vamp that turned Dean is circling the hunter in the nest suggesting they go and do some inappropriate actions. Dean seems to tense up and cringe at the thought of himself “doing the deed” if you will, with another male. Again, it could just be the thought of Dean not doing such actions with Castiel but with somebody else. All this information suggests that perhaps Dean isn’t trying to hide his sexuality but instead have fun with women who are willing to let him, However, again, the other side of the argument could be that Dean cannot hide his jealousy of other people with the love of their life because the hunter doesn’t want to admit his feelings for the celestial being even to himself, much less the angel alone. Moreover, another argument could be that Castiel isn’t actually male, so theoretically, Cas isn't homosexual. However, the angels always refer to Castiel as “he” and “him” regardless of the vessel Castiel is using. We are now approaching the end of the CW show and neither Dean nor Castiel has admitted their feelings for one another, suggesting that maybe there is nothing more than a “profound bond”. The duo just loves each other like family, which is persistently repeated throughout the show. There is also Castiel’s relationship with the demon Megara Masters whom he passionately kisses in the season 6 episode “Caged Heat” stating that he “learnt that from the pizza man”. The two then have many flirtatious encounters throughout the show until Meg is killed in season 8 or 9. We then experience Castiel hook up with another angel, April, which he doesn’t seem unhappy about. Castiel seems to really enjoy intercourse with women so actually does it a few more times throughout the rest of the show. Although Dean and Castiel have admitted that they love each other before, they aren’t in love. For example, at one point, somewhere between season 7 and season 9, Cas has Dean on his knees, about to kill him, forcing a beaten up Dean to say that he both needed and loved the angel. After almost 11 years, Castiel and Dean would have told each other about their feelings or they would have at least kissed at some point. Not only do we have that, but we have Dean’s relationship with Lisa. If Dean loved Castiel as much as viewers say he does, the hunter wouldn’t have gone to Lisa and his potential son, Ben, after Sam jumped into the cage, but instead gone to find comfort from Castiel. Overall, Dean loves sex with women too much to even the slightest bit homosexual. Not to mention his extreme discomfort when he sees people of that agenda publically displaying their sexuality. As for the angel, Castiel, he sleeps with multiple women and is the prominent person who calls Dean his family. And although Castiel does develop human feelings, angels don’t usually feel love. They also aren’t allowed to develop feelings for their charges. Castiel’s being Dean. So to draw my point to a halt, there is a very very slim chance, if one at all, that Dean and Castiel love each other as anything more than brothers and Destiel isn’t, and never will be, canon.

#destiel #dean #castiel #seemingly unhealthy addiction to sex slappers and strip clubs #it took me 45 minutes to write this #its past midnight #i have school tomorrow #i need coffee #someone get me coffee #please?#spn #help #essays #this is shite #wow too many fucking tags

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