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redrobin-detective · 3 years ago

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Ben 10 lore that exists in my heart regardless of canon

- Ben’s personality in his mid-late teens is a mix of his Alien Force and Omniverse self. On the surface, he’s very cheerful and kind even if he is a bit of arrogant showoff. He makes jokes and plays around and acts as if he isn’t bothered by the things in his life. Those who know him best understand a good portion of his outward confidence and cockiness is just a facade to cover up his insecurities and to project the ideal, effortless hero. While sometimes seen as immature, most beings know Ben 10 means business as he takes his unofficial job and people’s safety very seriously. He’s clever, adaptable, charismatic and empathetic which makes him a formidable opponent and a loyal friend. Doesn’t open up easily but if you get to him, he become so dearly attached.

- Drinks smoothies so much for several reasons. Comfort food go brrr, reminds him of the good easy times with him Gwen and Kev. It’s also a light but generally nutritous food to give him energy for heroing. Anything too heavy and he’ll be puking (both from physical and emotional stress). Though he jokes about his mom’s health foods, his are a crazy concoction of add in proteins and vitamins/minerals bc he knows he’ll out and out collapse without it. (Still has on occasion bc boy still doesn’t eat right/enough)

- While Fame is exciting for him at first he soon begins to detest it. Not the fans, no, he can’t bring himself to hate the people who look up to him. But he hates the constant attention, that he can’t walk outside without being mobbed. the only place he feels safe is his hometown where most people are so used to him and his weirdness that they don’t react much anymore. Takes to wearing a cape and face shield when going out anywhere so he can actually get things done without being recognized and mobbed.

- Part of the reason Bellwood isn’t concerned with Ben is partially because ben’s been weird and alien for as long as they can remember but also many don’t realize how famous/powerful he is. Yeah that’s just Ben Tennyson over there, sometimes he turns into funny creatures- wait what do you MEAN he’s the savior of the universe?? He cried over a spilled smoothie the other day.

- Does mostly online schooling by the time he’s 15. At first he tries to do half day things to maintain something of a normal life but it quickly becomes overwhelming and dangerous him/the school. Finishes his GED early but the Plumbers and Azmuth make him take additional college level and alien courses to prepare him for his future role. Ben gripes but really does love learning all these things, especially on his terms (ADHD and stress + the public school system do not always go hand in hand). He’s a quick learner when he deems the information important and is made accessible to his learning needs.

- Ben definitely has ADHD speaking of which, it was nearly uncontrollable as a child bc his free-spirited parents didn’t believe in medicating. Ben convinced them he needed it and after some trial and error, found meds that worked. As he became more involved in heroics/growing up he had to change his medicine regimen (resulting in him being a bit more off the rails in OV) and needed antidepressants and therapy to manage it better. As an adult he has a whole litany of coping mechanisms (good and bad yes) and regularly checks in with his therapist and doctors to keep things under control.

- Has a complicated relationship with his necrofriggian children. Considers himself their mother and worries after them. They too feel a connection to their parent despite this being unusual for their species. A few visit (some more than others) while they grow while others maintain distance. Ben never breathes a word of them to the media for fear of them being targeted. Still he keeps an eye on them and ensures all 14 mature to adulthood (another rarity for the species). Checks in every now and again with the ones who don’t want to see him and those that do. Two join the Plumbers and Ben is both proud and worried. His youngest becomes partners with Rook Ben.

- Just in general loves kids, they’re his favorite fans and while he’ll grumble at pushy adult fans he always smiles and kneels down for the little ones. Not so secretly wanted to have children of his own but knew it was a risk overall and used a lot of that energy with mentoring and teaching. Eventually had Kenny later in life (late 30s-40s) and was over the moon, becoming such a loving and doing parent or as much as he could be with his hectic schedule.

- Omnitrix can’t come off, never has at any point since it first latched onto Ben’s arm. Azmuth tried and failed to get the device off, doesn’t let Ben know for many years as he feared the consequences. The watch loves and protects Ben even beyond it’s programming making him much more durable to damage and releasing energy charges when he’s threatened. Not even removing Ben’s arm would separate them. They’re stuck for life.

- Ben does have Anodite heritage but the Omnitrix actively suppresses it and uses the built up energy to power the transformations which is why ben is mostly unaffected by what should cause a massive energy drain on him. Theoretically if Ben learned to harness and safely use his Mana at an early age like Gwen he would have been fine but letting it build up without safe outlet meant activation would have killed him. Omnitrix Ben, however, went his whole life not knowing of his latent abilities and how the watch saved his life.

- Ben’s eyes get more green and glowy as time passes from the Omnitrix. At first they think its a trick of the light but by the time he’s an adult his eyes are pretty much glow in the dark. His veins light up too after long stretches of using the Omnitrix. Its vaguely unsettling to people who aren’t used to Ben.

- Max and the Earth Plumbers work so, so hard to keep teen Ben on Earth when half the universe is blowing up their comm lines asking for The Ben 10 to help with whatever problem of the day. Ben himself doesn’t quite understand when he’s younger the prestige and expectations on his shoulders. Max throws up a million and one roadblocks so Ben can live as normal a life as possible while he still can. Still, while doing that he Still overloads Ben with expectations and responsibilities on earth and beyond. He becomes a soldier again with Ben as their greatest weapon. He never forgave himself of losing sight of his grandson underneath the hero esp after Ben’s breakdown.

- Rook partnership with Ben ends not long after Omniverse with his promotion to Magister. Ben tries to play it cool but the thought of another loved one/teammate leaving his tears him apart. Max revealing that Ben most likely wouldn’t get a new Plumber assigned partner since he’s almost an adult and won’t need it and Rook accidentally missing their last smoothie run due to a scheduling mishap causes Ben to snap and have the nervous breakdown that had been building for almost a decade. He completely loses it for a little while and needs to take an extended leave of absence from school and heroics that lasts about a year. Spends time recovering both on Earth and Galvan Prime, does some diplomatic training, learns about aliens, actually confronts the stress and loneliness of his life. He comes out the other side stronger but still fragile and exhausted.

- Ben’s above mentioned breakdown brings him closer to all his friends who didn’t quite realize the extent of Ben’s burden. Rook had been under the impression Ben didn’t like him all that much so the knowledge that his departure was the final straw for friend/hero’s collapse was shocking. Ben and Azmuth also become closer, the Galvan becoming fiercely protective of the boy seeing as his Earth family didn’t do well to keep him safe. It takes years for him to get over his anger at Max for putting so much on his grandchild. Ben makes more friends, in and out of the hero business, finally gets a therapist and gets some of his burdens eased a bit. It’s not a sure fire fix and Ben has several smaller breakdowns the rest of his life but its something.

- Azmuth was straight up suicidal before he met Ben for the first time. Ben gave him back hope for the universe and his ability to create items for peace not weapons. The boy infuriates him, frightens him, frustrates him but Azmuth cannot deny in his heart of hearts that he loves Ben dearly. He’s very upset at Ben’s breakdown and doesn’t know how to handle the worst of the initail outbursts. Azmuth talks Ben down from a suicide attempt. He reaches out to Ben that he Too felt overwhelmed by pressure, thought himself only good for war. Ben’s arrival in his life saved him and now he will do the same for Ben. It’s the first positive step forward in Ben’s recovery.

- For no other reason than I like it, Azmuth primarily refers to Ben as Benjamin (mostly to annoy the kid but he likes the way it sounds too) and Ben in softer, more serious moments.

- Professor Paradox continues to flit in and out of Ben’s life. He says its because Ben is the most equipped to handle universal peril (true) but he’s also just very fond of the boy. Ben, existing in so many forms and having such importance also exists a beat outside of normal reality which Paradox identifies with. Ben is naturally attuned to time related problems because of this (instantly IDing Spanner as from the future before being told later deducing him to be his unborn son). Plus Ben named him, way back when. He’s just drawn to Ben.

- Adult Ben, while being seen as an impressively skilled fighter and champion, really has his strength as a universal diplomat of sorts. Based out of Earth, he helps mediate and defuse conflicts, advocate against tyranny and overall preserve peace and balance. He’s not perfect, he makes mistakes and sometimes is forced to become violent (and yes kill) but overall is regarded as a peacekeeper, something younger ben simply couldn’t understand.

- Gwen gets her degree and primarily does work with advocacy and teaching about magic/alien culture. While she and Ben are still close, there’s a bit of a frustrated divide in that she isn’t helping him share the burden of the universe. Gwen never wanted to be a hero and has enough worth to not shackle herself to a job that’ll burn her out. Ben loves heroing but gives too much of himself away trying to fix everything. They get into screaming arguments that it wouldn’t be so bad out there if she just helped him but she refuses to budge and says he shouldn’t make himself do so much. They always make up and thy still are each other’s closest relationships.

- Ben marries Kai in a political move, Kai is Asexual and Ben Aromantic. They didn’t love each other but they got on well enough and Ben was really feeling the stress of carrying the hero burden so Kai also being involved made him feel like he wasn’t alone. Both were also so tired of the universe constantly asking about their love life and said ‘fuck it we’re married leave us alone’. Gwen was always mad about it feeling Ben deserved better but the two of them were happy with it. They had separate rooms, mostly separate lives but they became strong friends and supports with their strictly platonic marriage. They had Ken via Invitro in an incubator and were loving if extremely busy parents.

- Also from the moment he appeared, Ben knew that Spanner was his future son, Kenny. He played ignorant and then was kind of deliberately teasing him in future encounters. He knew the rules of time and didn’t want to disrupt things further even if he was angry and worried as heck about why Ken felt the need to time travel. When future Ben catches up in the timeline, Kenny gets SUCH a lecture.

- Ben isn’t quite immortal but he’s also not entirely human anymore either. The Omnitrix not only keeps him safe from most harm but it lightens the effect of aging. Ben 10 is active many, many years when most humans would have been forced to retire. He’s not sure how long the watch will keep him alive and it terrifies him. Gwen too is functionally immortal however she ages like a normal human, then when her natural death came, shed her skin and became a fulltime Anodite. So in the end, it was her and Ben together wondering which of them will die first. Gwen has trouble retaining her humanity as pure energy and swears she’ll let herself fizzle out when Ben goes. When that’ll be however...

#Ben 10 #this took sooo long whoops #i wanna write about ben's breakdown so mad you have no idea

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trashpandakat · 5 years ago

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UNKNOWN :

There are things people dont know about me, and its irrational to think that I can go my entire life keeping it all to myself, but thats no way to live and thats not something I want to endure.. so here goes nothing.

I like the color Green. Growing up I struggled with having a favorite color- I spent some time going from one color to another, but as I have gotten older, I like green. Green comes in so many natural shades. It signifies change, spring, summer, new growth, new accomplishments- another trip around the sun. My mom had a green thumb, and as ive gotten older ive really taken over the love for free oxygen.

The small things mean more than the big things.... ive had hand written notes mean more to me than a $200 dinner. I have a sweet spot for all the hand written notes, the tickle fights, the cuddeling till we fall asleep, even just holding hands. Growing up I always thought it would be cool to be that rich girl who can go and do anything in life- and I still believe some of my biggest accomplishments are ahead of me, but if im stuck on the East coast my whole life... well, ill be happy.

I dont care about money. When you die you cant take it with you and no amount of money can give you the love and compassion that an actual person can bring you. I much rather have quality in human connection than fame and wealth. If you chose money over a relationship, you lost.

I grew up in one town for my entire life. I moved when I was 22.. Do I regret it? Every day. Would I go back? No. My new home brings me an opportunity I never would have accepted under other cirumstances. I have made new friends.. When you hear about how crap you've been for so long- you kind of start to think things really are your fault- even if they are just mad... you can only hear the same words so many times before they become apart of you. Deep deep down I still have the Asheville Hippy Mentality.. but in my heart- im an explorer. I like to see new things and experience new places. Sue me.

I found no comfort in my life until I was 21. My entire life I was raised as a spoiled bratt- at least thats what my grandmother and my family thinks.. even my friends in school thought I was rich and loaded but really, we where just as bad off as them. What people havent seen is the catastrophic events my sister imposed on my entire family.. week after week, day after day. For.. well, 19 years of my life..and then some. Torture was an understatement- she ruled the house. She did what she wanted. She made my parents nonexistant, so you can probably imagine the shit I endured. Now a'days things are pretty smooth... expect for my mentality to be able to trust- thats been pretty fucked in the ass.. but every day I battle with the fact that I was never really that important to my family, so why should anyone else try and change that? Especially an insignificant boy?!

Extremes. Im either extremely manic and having a whole glorious day with zero clouds- or im a ticking time bomb that is activated by water and MANNNN it pours on some days. Its really a get what you get kind of thing- but its also a life long battle- so its not like things are new there. Just learning to adjust for adulthood.

Kids. Man this one is touchy... really touchy.. but Its still apart of me.. Last year I lost a child.. It was unplanned and unexpected- but that doesnt make the pain and greif any less antagonizing. I dont like the baby section in stores... I dont like to use handicap stalls cause the changing table makes me cry. My nephews mean even more to me and it hurts cause I cant see them much. I dont know if ill ever try again... that was a scary and painful situation.. I dont think I could do it again.. even with the best person..

I dont like to give up. I admit that i make mistakes, im human... but come on. Some times you just gotta accept that you did try your hardest there in the end .. just because it didn't work doesnt make you less of a person. I fear failure... and its alright.. cause if I didnt fear it id have nothing to gain by faceing it.

Im usually an open book. The only things I find sensitive is close to nothing. Im a Scorpio and we thrive off being alone and giving hard truths.. but when calm, can be the best companion.

KME

#plants #green #personal #sad words #writing #gifted #sad edit #tumblr #me #myself #grasp #things i cant say

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javathewildone · 6 years ago

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Ty Chronicles - A Walk to Remember (Pt. 12)

Summary: Meghan Donovan is a girl no one pays attention to until the day Ty Borden discovers something about her that so closely relates to his own life he finds himself becoming attached to her. But the closer he gets, the worse things become. And no one makes it through unscathed. The first installment of the Ty Chronicles saga. Set pre-Heartland/pre-juvie/pre-group home. Told in first-person through Ty’s point of view. Rating: M for adult themes Author’s Notes: Y’all better hang tight. This is taking a darker turn than I anticipated. Trigger Warning: adult content including prostitution Parts: P | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

The first week of summer was agony. I spent most of the nights staring at the ceiling resisting the urge to sneak out to the fort. I once even entertained the idea of going straight to Meghan's house and scaling the drain pipe to her window. The fact that I didn't know which room was hers was a secondary deterrent. The primary being caught at the losing end of a shotgun when her crazy stepfather decided to make good on his promise.

One of my biggest faults was spitefully doing the opposite of what I am told. On the other hand, when I make a promise, I generally keep it. So promising Meghan that I wouldn't pursue her over the summer because she made me do so was tearing me apart. I coped by pounding the pavement in search of a summer job. My previous employer who used to pay me under the table was no longer in business. Rumor was he got caught for tax evasion and disappeared. Any other place I tried was too law-abiding to hire a minor not yet old enough for even a work permit. Those that were usually delved into some shady black market dealings that, while catered to my qualifications, weren't necessarily smart options. There was no telling how the summer was going to go. I could wake up tomorrow and my mother could finally come to her senses about leaving Wade for good and we'd pack the car and be halfway to Ottawa by dark. That was something I wouldn't be able to control. But if I could keep my nose clean this summer and try for honest work, maybe come next school year I will have acquired enough discipline to put forth a real effort. A long shot, but still an achievable goal. Assuming, that is, I could actually find a job.

Dusk after another fruitless day found me climbing the ladder of the water tower, a pint of whiskey I swiped from inside my mom's nightstand in my back pocket. I settled on the catwalk, legs dangling over the edge to watch the sun set behind the Vancouver skyline. Plucking the bottle from my pants, I took a sip, savoring the heat that slid down my throat to settle in my stomach. Draping my arms over the railing, I stared at the amber liquid in my hand. Little more than half the bottle remained. Was this the night I finally broke down and got drunk to ease my pain? Would I black out and find myself in the vacant lot anyway? Or hammering on Meghan's door in a bold gesture of unadulterated stupidity? Maybe I would just mope home and pick a fight with Wade. Or curl up there on the catwalk and sleep until morning. Either option was viable. After a second swallow, as I felt the warmth spread through my limbs, I reached out and tipped the bottle to drain it of its contents. I couldn't risk my liquor addled mind making bad choices without my knowledge.

"Dude!" An incredulous yell had me peering down.

Seth stood gaping at the small puddle, looking up when I stopped wasting perfectly good liquor. He shook his head, hoisting a brown bag in offer. "No worries, I've got more."

"Great," I mumbled, twisting the cap back on the single swallow that remained of my own bottle while Seth climbed up to join me.

I hadn't been in contact with any of the guys since the end of school. We usually had a standing tower date a few times a week but this was the first night in some time I bothered to come by. I hadn't been in the mood to bullshit around their prying. We weren't the kind of friends that sought, or even offered, relationship advice. We were the kind of friends that used each other as sounding boards about our wretched lives like an AA support group, except alcohol was mandatory. For the last several weeks, I instead spent that time with Meghan.

Seth reached the top and slid into the space next to me. "I thought I was going to be up here by myself tonight. At least now if I fall, someone will be here to find my body."

"That's not funny, Seth," I shook my head, realizing for the first time how morbid we could all sometimes be. None of us really believed we were going to make it far into adulthood, if we got there at all. If we did, we'd be spending it behind bars for one reason or another. So our philosophy was to enjoy our free time while we still had it.

"Yeah, well…" he shrugged and drank from his paper bag, wiping his arm across his mouth. "Donovan finally get smart and give you the heave-ho?"

"In a manner of speaking." I twisted my bottle between my fingers, not really wanting to talk about Meghan. "Where's everyone?"

"Tommy got picked up by the cops trying to use his fake ID at that liquor store on Vine. Told him the old coot was getting suspicious but does he listen to me? Of course not." Seth shook his head. "And Jase is in Banff again for the rest of the week. His sister just popped out another kid."

"What is that, three now?"

"Four, I think."

I chuckled, gazing out at the view. We settled into a companionable silence for a time. Unlike Jason, Seth wasn't much for chatter. And unlike Tommy, he didn't have a taste for gossip which meant he wouldn't press about Meghan unless I brought it up.

I felt the shift in atmosphere when Seth eventually turned to me. I could feel it radiating off of him like a rank sweat.

"What?" I asked without looking at him.

"Tommy didn't think we should tell you but…"

I looked at my friend, the indecision and unease in his eyes. "Tell me what?"

Seth took another drink for courage. "We saw Meghan."

"How was she? Where?" He now had my absolute attention, which made him shift uneasily and drink again, which made me uneasy in turn while he purposely took his sweet time.

Scowling, I reached out to snatch the bottle from his hand. "Hey!"

"Spit it out or I'll drop it," I threatened, holding my arm out over the edge. Seth eyed it thoughtfully, deciding whether my wrath was worth losing his buzz.

Finally he sighed. "On the Eastside."

My stomach dropped.

"She was getting out of this big black Cadillac. She…" Seth swallowed, looking to the bottle I still held over open air. "She looked pretty banged up."

"When was this?" I could feel my mind starting to peel apart in layers, shredding through emotions.

"The other night. Around two in the morning. When we realized it was her we hung around for a little reconnaissance. Another girl told us she'd been around every night for the last week. Dex - her stepfather, I guess - they said he usually dropped her off the same time every night. Some nights she'd be out until dawn, others he'd pick her up if he found the right client."

The liquor I drank burned as it began to come back up. I swallowed hard. "So she is working for him," I whispered in disbelief.

"Just started, from what we gathered."

I handed Seth back his bottle and got clumsily to my feet, feeling ill. Was that why Meghan was so persistent about keeping my distance through the summer? Had she known what she was going to be forced into? Maybe she had been trying to save me from myself, knowing what I would do if I knew. Well, we were all about to find out.

"Where are you going?"

"To the Eastside."

"Are you crazy?!" Seth jumped up. "Pimps linger to keep an eye on their assets. You said Dex caught you outside his house. If he catches you out there looking for Meghan, you're a dead man."

"I appreciate the concern." Though I didn't care and continued my way toward the ladder. It was hardly nightfall, but if I got to the Eastside before Meghan was dropped off there was less chance of her stepfather, so-called Dex, seeing me saunter in when I could already be there, blending in and laying in wait. Anyway, I wanted to do reconnaissance of my own. I trusted what my friends heard and saw, but wanted first hand confirmation and other questions answered.

"At least let me come with you to watch your back."

"I can take care of myself. Stay here." I hoped the remaining two feet from the end of the ladder to the ground.

"I don't doubt it, but what about her? If you get caught what do you think is going to happen to her?"

I stopped. Seth made a valid point. The last time I was stupid enough to be seen, Meghan was put under house arrest. Anyway, I wasn't stupid enough to think that as soon as I found her I would be concerned with who else may or may not be in the shadows watching.

Seth dropped down behind me. "Also, I know exactly where she'll be."

Heaving a sigh, I turned around to face his sly grin. "Fine. Lead on."

"She really got to you." Seth broke the silence after we entered city limits. It wasn't a question but an observation.

I didn't answer, too lost in my own thoughts of what I would say when we found Meghan. Or what I would do if she ended up not being there at all that night.

"So, what are you planning to do?"Seth went on. "Steal her away and start a new life together somewhere?"

"Huh?" I finally acknowledged my friend was even trying to speak to me. "Uh, I don't- no. I mean, I've thought about it. We even talked once about just living in this old tree house together. But, obviously that wouldn't realistically work out. I just… I want to make sure she's all right."

"She's being sold to the highest bidder by her own stepfather," Seth stated rather bluntly. "I very much doubt she's 'all right.'" He frowned, shoving his hands deep into his pockets as we walked. "Man, isn't that some shit, though? I mean, we've all been through a lot of shit but that's… that's just a whole new level of fucked up."

"Believe me, I know." It killed me inside to know that poor girl was being used and abused and I could do nothing about it. That I spent so long asking what I did to deserve the hell of a life I had that I didn't even consider there were people out there in worse situations that were even less deserving of them. Learning about Meghan's life made me see mine in an entirely new light.

"Hang on," Seth said, making a sudden detour into a convenience store. I lingered outside impatiently until he returned with a grocery bag.

"What is that for?"

"Trust me." Slinging the bag over his shoulder, we carried on.

It was full dark by the time we made it to the red-light district, but not yet so late that the night prowlers emerged from their caves. This was a part of the city I set foot in only once before and even then it made me feel unsettled. This was a dangerous part of Vancouver where law and order became a morally grey area. Where every reputable looking business was a front for something more profitable and genuinely sinister.

"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?" A chill rattled down my spine as I did a quick sweep around us.

"Probably because we are." Seth gestured to a pawn shop across the street with a subtle tilt of his head. The only indication of life was the glowing end of a cigarette as a man leaned against the front of the closed building.

I watched the figure from the corner of my eye as we continued on by knowing he was just one of many. Dread seeped through my veins at the thought of Meghan out here on these streets.

A few blocks later we stumbled upon the heart of the Eastside and what I always expected the most immoral area of the city to look like. Strip clubs, bars, and adult shops lit up in blazing red neon. Signs flashed "nude" "live sex" "erotic" enticing patrons into their dark interiors where anonymity was the highest form of trade. Through open doors I caught glimpses of girls swinging on poles and dancing in window displays wearing nothing but lacey lingerie. The male part of me involuntarily awakened from the sheer insinuation that blanketed this part of town. It was heavy in the air and impossible to ignore. Shamed as I felt, I realized that was the intention. Otherwise, this bawdy area of the city would cease to exist.

"Little young to be hanging around here." A voice came from above, causing Seth and I to pause and glance up. A woman leaned over a fire escape wrapped in a silk robe, pulling on a cigarette. Her hair fell around her face in wild waves, casting it in shadow as she gazed down at us, turning a matchbook in her fingers.

"We're looking for someone," I said, receiving a jab in side from Seth. I shot him a testing look.

The woman chuckled. "Take it from me, darling, you won't find them here." She bent a delicate, bare, leg back lazily.

"Yes ma'am. You have a good night now," Seth said hurridly. In my shock at his politeness, I didn't protest as he grabbed my jacket to drag me further down the street.

"What was that about?"

"Don't engage unless you're willing to pay. We don't need some 'roid-rager coming down to knock out our teeth."

Too stunned by Seth's unsettling knowledge of this area of town, I didn't argue and merely allowed him to guide me, now rather relieved I allowed him to come along. Who knew what sort of scuffle I would have gotten myself into trying to weasel scraps of information from anyone I met in hopes they knew enough about Meghan to be useful. Oddly enough, it turned out Seth was a much better bet.

"Exactly how much reconnaissance did you and Tommy do when you were here?"

"Enough to be worth it. Here." Having dug into his bag he produced a carton of cigarettes, opening the pack and handing me one. We lit up and continued our stroll. While I didn't think we had any real destination, Seth casually directed our path until we were just a couple of blocks beyond the red light limits.

"Spare a smoke?" A woman leaning against a street lamp, one shoe off in her hand as she massaged her foot, nodded toward us. She was a pretty brunette, not lithe and sexual like the blonde on the balcony, but a humble beauty encased in soft curves.

Seth didn't utter a word as he reached into his pocket for the carton.

"She's not here," the woman murmured, returning her shoe to her foot and standing up again to take a cigarette.

I was startled to realize she and Seth knew each other. Perhaps this was one of the women he and Tommy spoke to the last time they were here. I bit my tongue to keep from jumping at her with a ton of questions. Also because Seth shot me a warning look to be quiet.

"Was she?" Seth asked, taking his time to dig for a lighter.

"No. But her handler was just a few minutes ago." The woman put the cigarette between her lips and leaned in to the open flame in Seth's hand. Her eyes, rimmed with dark eye shadow flickered up to my friend's face. The smoldering look in them made me look away, feeling as if I was intruding on a private moment. What were my friends doing in this area of town, exactly?

The moment gone, she stood erect and blew a stream of smoke into the air. "It's early. I'll bargain he'll be back with her in a few hours."

Seth nodded. "We'll be back."

She studied him with a faint smile. "Bring your wallet so we can finish what we started."

"One for later?" Seth offered her the pack of cigarettes, ignoring the invitation.

She extracted a second one and nodded, throwing a glance my direction. "Sixth and Temple."

And we continued walking, me frustrated and confused, as Seth steered us to the next street.

"Okay, what the hell was that about? Who was she?"

"Maisie. Not sure if that's her real name, but that's what she told me to call her. She's the one we talked to last time we were here. It took a while to… convince her to open up about Meghan." I could have sworn Seth's face flushed. If it weren't so dark I'd have bet on it.

"Convince her how?"

"Well, now that is none of your business. The point is, she knows your girl and agreed to help us." Dropping his butt to the ground, Seth stomped it out.

"Sixth and Temple?"

"Our rendezvous. You gonna finish that?"

I handed over my half-finished cigarette, somewhat awed. "You would make a great Jason Bourne."

Seth took a long toke, dramatically tilting his head to exhale. "Don't I know it."

#heartland #fanfiction #ty chronicles #a walk to remember #ty borden #oc: seth #trigger warning

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arclightbutterfly · 6 years ago

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8/28/18 - unfair

i spent the last four years of my life fighting. fighting for pieces of a childhood i knew i had been denied. i knew my mom was never going to call me her daughter. i knew my dad was never going to call me his princess. i knew my parents would never take me dress shopping, my mom would never help me pick out my makeup, and my parents would never tell me that i was pretty or beautiful or anything else that their daughter needed to hear to prevent her self-esteem from collapsing.

so i fought.

i trail-blazed my own path to self-medicating as early as i did, because i knew my childhood was in danger. id stay up at night, clenching my fists and knowing i was running out of time. do you know what it feels like to be a child, and know that time is running out? it was a constant stress, a constant burden on me that was always weighing me down. i was always tired, and ive had a persistent sense of impending doom for as long as i can remember. because i knew my time was running out.

i had to self-medicate early so i could still live a few days in my own skin before adulthood hit. i wanted to go to dances. i wanted to be called by my name. i wanted to go to school, dressed up and feeling cute like the other girls were.

i wanted to live.

so i went through my life in desperation. always thinking about the path ahead. thinking of whether id make enough money to order my meds on time. constantly worrying if my parents would find my stash. constantly paranoid that the clothes i hid under the bottom drawer had been moved from where they were before. i had to fight for myself. to give myself the childhood i knew that i had to earn, unlike anybody else.

it was exhausting.

the stress kept me awake at night, but it also kept me motivated to work hard. push hard. i pursued ambitions no one else could simply because i knew that i had the willpower to do so. exhaustion and fatigue were nothing to me. it was horrible, to think these things at the age of 16. to be so world-weary already.

always on edge, always ready to lie, and if that failed, always ready to escape. and if that failed...

i was always ready, and that weighed me down too.

but god it was fucking worth it

even if i got maybe a year out as myself, even if i only got a few days where i got to dress the way i wanted, it was so fucking worth it. the relief of being outside in my own skin. being able to breathe the fresh air that everyone breathes and thinks nothing of. being able to shrug off the dysphoria, if only for a couple hours. to finally be able to emerge and see the surface, if only for a while.

and then to be dragged back in while everyone remained on the other side.

its always felt unfair, because it always has been unfair. i fought so hard to get a few days of what everyone else got to have years of.

years. fucking years. i cant imagine being able to go outside, every single day of the year, for a full 365 days, and not have to worry about passing, not have to worry about being judged for my gender, not having to worry about my parents finding out, not having to constantly think about 15 different excuses and lies and lies to support those lies in case they failed.

god. 365 days without dysphoria. 365 days being able to use the bathroom i was supposed to without fear of being judged or called out or noticed or recognized or reported or discovered by my parents.

can you imagine? i cant.

this has become somewhat of a rant, but i feel like i deserve it. you know everyone only gets one childhood?

you only get one family. you only get one childhood. there’s no do-overs.

that’s kind of scary to me. the fact that ill never be able to experience a healthy, supportive family dynamic. its so easy to live vicariously through so many other people and see our experiences as a collective, that you forget that every person only gets one experience of their own. isn’t that crazy? we only get one.

you don’t need to tell me that life’s unfair.

i know it is.

#transgender #teenager #trans girl #transitioning #mtf #hrt #self medication #trans thoughts #dysphoria #life #injustice #rant

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insarations · 7 years ago

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random questions just cause...hereeell we go

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? *chuckles* yup

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? yes

3. Have you taken someones virginity? ya

4. Is trust a big issue for you? no in fact I trust people way too much

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? don't really like anyone atm

6. What are you excited for? hmm idk really. I guess my week off of work in a few weeks

7. What happened tonight? not much, just chilling, rainy day

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? ehh..idk it's just not my thing. but I wouldn't call it "disgusting"..if that's fun for them then cool

9. Is confidence cute? for sure, just not tooo much..fine line there

10. What is the last beverage you had? water and an iced vanilla latte

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? hmm. not any really besides my dad

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yes a couple

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? I'm not sure yet. Probably go somewhere with a friend or see a movie

14. What are you going to spend money on next? probably either food or coffee

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? not significantly but I feel like I'm always changing in some way, even if it's gradual

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? not gonna put a name but one of my best friends

18. The last time you felt broken? that's hard to answer cause like i still do, i have for a while now but I mean it's not as bad as it was. about a year ago

19. Have you had sex today? sadly no lol

20. Are you starting to realize anything? a lot of things every second of every day. adulthood has a lot of fucking wake up calls

21. Are you in a good mood? not necessarily in a good mood but i'm not really in a bad mood either..it's just kinda like meh lol

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? hmm.... maybeee... depends

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? no. his is brown, mine are blue

24. What do you want right this second? not to have to go to work tomorrow XD and idk maybe a good ol makeout session and/or cuddles

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? uhhh well like if i were in a relationship with them then wtf, no no lol not good. but like if it was someone i'm not together with then...cool, do whatever the hell you want

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? pretty much

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? noo.. like i mean they don't gotta be some sorta jokester/comedian or nothing but just..don't be so serious. laughing is the best

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? probably one of my cats lol

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? always do

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? for the most part. but idk...I don't think I could give someone who cheated another chance. that's just crossing a line of trust that like..I could forive but I wouldn't be able to be with them again. I just don't understand anyone who cheats

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? that would be my dad so no XD

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? hmm hard to answer. but I suppose she does

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? nooo I love soda. with that said though, since the beginning of the year i've cut back on it alottttt for my health. but i still drink it maybe once a week. i used to drink it literally every day multiple times a day.

34. Listening to? currently juice WRLD

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? sometimes at work but not often

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? yup

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? yes and no. i hate that question, it's old lets move on lol

38. Who did you last call? i cant remember, probably one of my parents. i dont talk on the phone much

39. Who was the last person you danced with? I dont dance really except in the car with my friends..our own version of dancing XD

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? cause she was my girlfriend. girlfriends do that lol

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a few weeks ago i think

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no..we don't hug often really lol we're just not that way but i do hug my mom every now and then

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? probably a million times

44. Do you tan in the nude? noooooooo. i burn so easy i'd probably turn into one giant tomato

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? never

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? nah :/ I miss that

47. Who was the last person to call you? a million car sales people cause i'm stupid and entered info on a website and now it's like the neverending fucking story of sales people calling me like heyyyy buy a jeep and its like yes mam id love to but i'm poor so how about not right now stop calling me thank you bye

48. Do you sing in the shower? heck ya. except not really lately cause i shower at the gym...they don't wanna hear that XD

49. Do you dance in the car? yasss

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yes, I did archery at camp as a kid. fun times

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 10th grade highschool photo. or if it counts, my aunt took my graduation photos..she perty professional

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? there definitely can be cheesy ones but those are usually the ones i love XD

53. Is Christmas stressful? these days yes -_- never as a kid. I miss those days

54. Ever eat a pierogi? I don't think I have actually

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? not a huge fruit pie person but I guess...apple or lemon. I really don't eat fruit pie though. If it's gonna be pie then I prefer something like chocolate or peanut butter

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? so many different things, that's why i never settled on anything XD

57. Do you believe in ghosts? I think so..in a certain way.. like not in the way they show on tv and movies. just idk, i do believe in spirits. There's some stories in my family they are kinda hard not to believe or explain

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? allllll the time

59. Take a vitamin daily? nah, probably should ?

60. Wear slippers? not anymore, I used to alot

61. Wear a bath robe? same as above. I get way too hot for that now lol

62. What do you wear to bed? usually just shorts or boxers and a tank top or tshirt. sometimes sweatpants dependning

63. First concert? reba mcentire lol

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? target. walmart for certain things. but target is just fun

65. Nike or Adidas? neither really but adidas if i have to pick

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? I like both, but peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? back in the day, crazier. then it was blank space or shake it off...but recently, delicate. many different taylor eras XD

69. Ever take dance lessons? when I was in elementary school and 6th grade yes

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? umm hmm honestly no. whatever makes them happy :)

71. Can you curl your tongue? nah, i dont got nothing special like that XD

72. Ever won a spelling bee? nahh

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yesss

74. What is your favorite book? several...looking for alaska by john greene, the pawn series by robin roseau, and look again by lisa scottoline

75. Do you study better with or without music? havent studied in so long O_o but probably with

76. Regularly burn incense? not regularly. I do from time to time but not as much anymore, my mom hates it lol

77. Ever been in love? yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert? so many... fleetwood mac or just stevie nicks, ben howard, maroon 5, pvris, ariana grande, lana del rey, the weeknd, pink, coldplay, imagine dragons lady gaga, andrew belle, adele, lorde, gwen stefani even though I already did lol...i could go on all day. bottom line, i need to see more concerts

79. What was the last concert you saw? Gwen Stefani a couple years ago

80. Hot tea or cold tea? cold

81. Tea or coffee? coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie? alllllll the cookies. lately m&m. but chocolate chip is always a winner

83. Can you swim well? yes

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? nahh

85. Are you patient? yes and no. depends on the setting and circumstance lol. I think I'm fairly patient compared to other people but sometimes at work..if the right people push my buttons then oohhh boyyy no

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? hmm.. neither honestly just put on the damn ipod playlist XD

87. Ever won a contest? a couple when I was little lol

88. Ever have plastic surgery? noo. no thank you

89. Which are better black or green olives? greeeeeen

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? go for it. I used to think alot differently when I was younger cause I'm a christian, grew up with traditional values. but *sighs*... things change lol sex is great, go for it but be safe people XD

91. Best room for a fireplace? ANY ROOM. omggg. they should have fireplaces in the bathroom. what a great idea you can just warm yourself while you sitting there haha genius

92. Do you want to get married? If I meet the right person but if I don't ever get married that's fine too lol it's not a priority for me really but if I do meet the right person then for sure

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dancekickboxcardio · 5 years ago

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I looked 👀 so much better morning ☀️. Exact words to BFF, “I was cuter.” Afternoon, you can see the weigh of the day on my face. I am run down. My eyes 👀 is kinder and not mean looking like I can kill you with my icy 🥶 stare. It’s not fresh for sure. It says more like what do you want, I have no time of the day, I am done ✅ . It’s more approachable in what do you want way. At least it’s not don’t talk to me. I took a picture 📸 of the dino 🦖. I try to capture a photo even of little things that I found magic ✨. They caught my eye 👁. I found art 👩🏼‍🎨 in them. There was something interesting. Most of the times it is to take a better memory of what happened. Something to cue and go by. It could tell a story. But my favorite is random.

I should have had a terrible day yesterday. However, it didn’t get a meltdown from me. Ugh 😑, I hate it. I was god darn straight up reasonable and level headed. Why don’t you like combust like a desperate lunatic loser who can’t do anything but spew bogus stuff. Then, that would make not totally me. That’s what people admire about me. They know that they can believe what I say. It is reliable and accurate and they won’t make a fool of themselves repeating it. Although if you want to own my ideas 💡 it is lovely that you can’t defend them and not better than I can.

By the end of the day I was exhausted 😩. I was a little depleted. I had this feeling of giving up given the enormity of the drama of the day, my physical exertions and lack of anything to give ⚡️ anymore. Somehow, in that time of unsureness, I found it in me to keep going. It was almost automatic. What makes me scary 😨 is when most would shrivel into smallness, I am able to let out a confident courage that anchors itself in my coping mechanism, my ability to evaluate a situation, find the solution and follow through without doubt what I believe is the best way to go about it. Sometimes it is scary that I could be automatic that I don’t pay attention and not notice I am there and the little things. Perhaps, I have some other things going on in my mind. You can’t possibly remember every small detail of your life. Like, we were dancing 🕺🏽 in Zumba right. As we were grooving it out 💃🏼 I was actually making some figuring out decision. I don’t ever do that. It was easy going in class yesterday. It wasn’t packed. The energy was there. Everybody seems happy 😃 to put in work. I don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️ where they were coming from but I just talked to the activities desk about a problem and it was my fifth exercise 💪🏾 🏃🏼‍♀️ after AMP which is high velocity, intensity spinning 🚲 . It was like a party 🎊 too. The reason I don’t give much credit to whatever people think 🤔 I am and it’s not that I don’t know 🤔 they are basing it off themselves, I am more, I weigh it based on where I am. I basically know where I am coming from. You are full of strength. Well, I have excess weigh all over my body and also I am having my shake dinner 🍽 . You can’t judge a person based on you. You put it in their shoes 👠 . Like duh 🙄. Some people are more like others and they can relate better which means they easily form friendship 👭 👬 👫 bonds. But in adulthood, there is a healthy way of going about living.

Wamesy gave me toe kisses 😽. I have achy 😖 tightness in my back. My legs are sore. My stomach too. Yes, tea cup table abs progression 📈.

I had some yogurt 🍦 coming in to the gym 🏃🏼‍♀️ 💪🏾 and I didn’t feel like having my full breakfast 🥞. I blow dried my hair and form it to my fancy. I was pretty cute with my tress. I spend time on my phone 📲 until it was time for Pilates. I missed the Monday class and glad to show up Wednesday. Well, it wasn’t as easy as the last time with April but it was manageable. I wanted to tell her I got out energized and limber. Many people where schmoozing and I am on a clock 🕰. I was able to pull myself lying down to reach my legs 🦵🏾 sitting. I had to hold on to my knees but strength is build up. I was wobbly and I was ok with where I was. I’ll keep on working on it. I love 💕 the part where you are folded in front and one on the side legs and you reach up towards the opposite side for the stretch on your torso and inner thighs. It was complex and a great pose 😊. I felt so womanly 👩🏼 . It was a joy to express myself. Although I am not saying it is a girl’s only class. You take these classes because you know you get something from it. Mary, the Ashtanga Vinyasa yogi 🧘🏼‍♀️ does tiny muscle exercises on the floor. It tickles me. I thought 💭 it proficient. April was great. She was being funny 😆, loose and she’s great with instructions.

I went for breakfast 🍳 after the class. I changed in my bathing suit 👙 and there was an Aqua class. I felt Pilates was for me morning. Another time and not this day. It was nice to see the ☀️ sun shine as I quietly nourish myself. I spend time on my phone 📱 again and that’s because I felt like it. It was something to be done ✅ and I had the option and really the wiggle room in my schedule 📅 to allow for it. Tit for Tat. I do it now, I have free time later. About 30 minutes before suntanning was over at 77 the heat 🥵 was unbearable for me and I was worried 😟 that I might get a heatstroke. I moved to the shade to get my nap 💤 for the day. I went back to switch my lunch 🍴 from breakfast on my food 🥘 bag. I had a leisurely meal at 100p.

I went back to the locker 🔒 room. I showered 🧼, I changed and I opened my stuff to grab my work 📚 to find me freaked out. “Where the hell is my black Vince Camuto purse 👜?” I reported it and they were going to investigate what had happened like check the security cameras. I am like, “What the heck.” Thank God, my laptop 💻 was spared. I checked in with Keya through out the day if there were updates. If someone turned it in. I don’t need the bag 💼 . Heck I am more than happy 😃 to use one of my new designers. But my lipsticks 💄, my Tahiri sunglasses 🕶, my chargers 🔌, my book 📖, my IDs and credit cards 💳. I would love 💗 to get a new wallet. I know I seem funny 😄 about it. It fuels my retail 🛍 enthusiasm. I have had the Badley Mischka wallet since graduating from Notre Dame. It was as old as I was an undergrad graduate 🎓.

I continued with my day like a pro. Ugh 😑 and I wrote ✍🏾 on my journal and I studied 📑. I wish I had my plug for Apple Watch ⌚️ and phone 📱. I wasn’t able to log my activity starting AMP 🚲 .

The room was not volatile. It was of course full of bullying. Yet my impression was it was calm relatively. It was also not pressure packed like I told Laura and you feel at ease to move about like you are safe. I may have low anxiety stepping on the floor because I know many of the trainers 👟 and I have friends in the gym. I also spend my entire day when I am training in the building. I eat my lunch 🍴 and dinner 🍽 there and sometimes breakfast. I use the sauna 🧖🏼‍♀️ and relax 😌 🧴 by the pool 🏊🏻‍♀️ . It’s not that I am not on my toes sharp. I just have lower threshold in my defense and I have a good relationship and a pleasant one with most of them and I feel that I am aware what it’s like during bottlenecks and low attendance moments. There was room to maneuver yesterday working on my lower body using the equipments. It wasn’t as busy. I told Lane seeing him downstairs that there was nobody on the floor. He was like, “I like it.” Mmmmhm. Something that he would say.

My Mom was making me do more over my lost bag. I did what was reasonable. She wanted me to check the garbage 🗑. I am like Mom, I am not going to go crazy over my lost purse 👜. If I remember putting it in my bin, then someone must have taken it from there. I don’t know what that person did to it. She told me like what Morgan said if I brought it to the poolside. I did not. She was like, “Maybe you just brought it with you not thinking 💭.” That’s the thing even with automatic routine behaviors I still account for what I need. What are extra I store. She stopped 🛑 her scenarios and insistence when I said hypothetically if I did bring it outside the camera shall have shown I did. End of discussion.

I was not too bad in the cycling 🚴🏼‍♀️ studio. There were many colleg 📚 kids in club and it is great. I remem using the Notre Dame gym which is open in limited hours and I told an advisor, “The guy was staring at me like he has never seen a girl use the treadmill before.” Yeah, strict stringent conservative. The handle bars where wobbly but I keep my seat 💺 because I wanted to get that after session report. I don’t believe I pressed the right end button 🖲. I had to leave and that’s where I saw my Mom and I got a lecture and I talked with Keya. It was a fun 🎊 class. The instructor was so bubbly . She beats me. I enjoyed her towel exercises. I thought 💭 they were great. I liked the mechanics 🧰 we did on the bicycle. I had to think 🤔 peddling and moving my arms at the same time without falling off the machine. It was great. I felt my inner thighs doing work and I was happy 😃 . Ballerina strength bod.

Zumba 💃🏼 I couldn’t move my legs anymore . They felt like a heavy brick 🧱 . I was able to bust it out on some easy Latin like music 🎶. But squats. It was a feel good work out 🏋🏼‍♀️ and as always the case L’Tan was great in getting us all into it and with various dances from 🕴🏻all over the world 🌍 . Some of them I knew by heart already. I was ready to pass out by the end of that last exercise routine. This was me.

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josthecommision · 8 years ago

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Super detailed questions about your OC: Jozre and Alinthiel

(I had to get rid of some questions because they were either not applicable to the universe the characters are in or don't really seem important or simply I couldn't answer very well)

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything? Its embarrassing and personal question haha. Jozre Alcazier is a corruption or Jose Hebrew meaning “God increases” and Alcazar in Moorish means “palace” or “fortress”. Alinthiel is really just a name that sounds good and elfish but also got inspired by the anime MAGI with the main character Aladin.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Jozre: “I don't really have a title, not yet I guess”

Alinthiel: “I am currently the Alchemy instructor of the Winterhold university mostly because they lacked one.....oh and one of the Thalmor’s most wanted. Long story.”

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

Jozre: “I like to think I had a good childhood overall. Growing up in an environment with different intermingled cultures has its perks and I enjoyed every bit of it. Still, I regret having been a terrible kid with my brothers and I had a few bullies in my life but I just shrugged most bulling off for the most part”

Alinthiel: I had a very nice childhood in the imperial city but the haunting truth that we were fugitives speaking against the Aldmeri Dominion always seemed to hover above us. Then the great war reached us in the city and...well you know how war can be with teenagers”

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Jozre: I love my parents and mostly have good memories of us having good times but they would once in a wile have very heated arguments. Kind of made me feel helpless and scared we wouldn't be a family any more. Guess there is nothing good with out the bad”

Alinthiel: “despite the stress from obvious reasons, I had good memories with my parents like the time my mom would teach magic. The Imperial city was a nice place to live in before the war despite the whole Oblivion crisis thing. Life was sometimes quiet and boring though because we did not leave our house too much in fear of Thalmor spies spotting us.”

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

Jozre: “four actually: Dahvi, Rafa, Oscar. We are in really good terms now but I was a little brat to everyone when I was little. Its kind of a sore and shameful subject for me and try to make up for it all every time I get.

Alinthiel: “No not I don't but sure wished I had a little sister or brother”

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Jozre: “I have always had mixed feelings about school. I enjoy what I learned in high school because its useful now but it all could have came with out the bullies. Wile I could shrug out most, there was one time when the line was crossed and they abused my romantic feelings. Once I found out a girl I liked had vanished after being attacked by the bully, I kind of killed him and that ended with me becoming a criminal to the imperials. I loved Alchemy and my teacher was the best man I have known but hated biology because of a terrible teacher I had”

Alinthiel: “ohhh I loved school although I was technically home schooled. Mom said she did not want me in the college of whispers and the synods because “they are selfish and self serving fungus sippers” and the Telvanii have a very rigid and ignorantly black and white belief about magic and themselves. My mom was once studied with the Psijjics so she knew what she was doing and also attended classes in the college of Winterhold. Being mostly secluded to our house, I was always happy about learning. My favorite subject was Mysticism but I hated home education: I cant clean and end up burning everything I cook!”

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

Jozre: “not many, no. The few friends I had were great though but we moved a lot so the friendships don't last long. I do like to think they think of me once in a wile and that one day we will get together again like old times.

Alinthiel: oh yes tons! I made friends in the Imperial city among the children and young adults when I lived there and even befriended a Moth priest. I would get to see them when I could leave our house but would sneak out at times to hang out more. Sure hope they made it ok after the war....”

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

Jozre: “I adopted an old and blind dog when I was young. I still remember how sad and damp the poor old dog was when I first found him, it was raining harsh outside and I just could not let him die alone. Poor Leo was the sweetest and kindest old blind pooch you would ever meet and it brings me to tears how one day, he just died of old age. I like to think I made his last days happy ones though I cant shake the feeling I failed him too. I never stop thinking about him.”

Alinthiel: “We had the whole thing of being nice but not taking in animals. we were never animal people but my mom thought me this animal empathy spell she learned from the wood elves and its amazing! not as potent as the wood elfs themselves though.”

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

Jozre: “Not any more then any other I guess”

Alinthiel: “guess magic don't count huh? well, no I guess not particularly. we got an understanding but that's about it”

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Jozre: “I don't have any cubs of my own. I think I would leave the idea of having children to my love because personally, I am fine with or without. I would like to believe that I would be the father to help my cubs along with life and guide them so that they don't make the same mistakes I did. Be loving but fair and bestow as many good values as I can with out spoiling them”

Alinthiel: “err, id have to find the “right guy” or girl, I don't judge” but I can be picky and I am always busy with my work.”

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

Jozre: “whole milk will out right kill me....or at least it would feel like my insides are being turned open. I need to drink a special lactose free milk or rely on cheese for my calcium.”

Alinthiel: “I cant eat sugary or caffeinated foods as far as I know, you REALY don't want to see me on a high. That is why I confine my self to my study when ever I am in one”

12. What is their favourite food?

Jozre: “oh man do I love food that is spicy and sweet food! I love Rimmani chocolate masala. I am a lover of good food so my preferences are too long to count. I will say that I love fruit and nuts as well”

Alinthiel: “I don't really have a preference but do enjoy eating strange and exotic or alien foods. Those argonian spiced snake was amazing and the way they used the poison was a nice zing! don't eat when mouth sores tough....because you know.....the whole dyeing thing”

13. What is their least favourite food?

Jozre: “anything that is too greasy and bitter food. I hate bitter food and drink and that Dunmer/ dark elf shit is nasty, how do they swallow that slop they call drink?”

Alinthiel: “I don't really have a dislike for something but I do not like putting time into food like those boiled crabs you have to open and scrape out the meat. I am always busy and doing something so I need something that I can grab and eat with out any hassle. now if you serve it already out of the shell, I will not complain”

14. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Jozre: “I love cooking because I know I can make something I like. I am no gourmet chef and your bound to be disappointed if you want some pretty piece of art but I like to think I make delicious food. I never go hungry”

Alinthiel: “burn food, remember?”

15. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

Jozre: “I like to collect spices and alchemical herbs when ever I can get my hands on them. I also like to collect swords and armor I find, can clean and carry with me for later use. no, I am not a hoarder”

Alinthiel: “books of ancient lore and magic~ I love books!”

16. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else?

Jozre: “love, adventure and...well, Instruction texts of Daibella.”

Alinthiel: “magical lore and elder scrolls if I ever get my hands on one...they do count right?”

17. What’s their least favourite genres?

Jozre and Alinthiel: “Dunmer propaganda, specially Dres and Telvanii.”

18. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

Jozre: “never been to a musical before but I like music with flair and passion. When ever I hear the guitar, drums and or trumpets, I swing my tail and ignore I dance like a dork!”

Alinthiel: “the classical with the harms and the hymns~ oh how beautiful they can be~.......you should try them! I also like weird and atmospheric are surprisingly good”

19. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Jozre: “I once had a really bad and quick temper when I was younger and would get very violent when pushed too far. Ever since I met Mi’Jirra and she became part of my life, it takes so much more to get me angry and knowing she is there for me and I for her gives me the confidence and strength to be a stronger person. I will, how ever, not tolerate any harm coming to Mi’Jirra and her family”

Alinthiel: “racism and ignorance just make me boil! that is why I have no patience for the Thalmor, stormcloaks and most dark elves. other than that, I am probably too mellow and sleepy to care. Just don't mess with my research”

20. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Jozre: “I usually have a good memory and can remember things most don't, specialy if its of interest to me but I am terrible with names most of the time. I am good with faces though and can recognize some one visually better then by name”

Alinthiel: “hah, my mind is like a steel trap and can remember every but of text and lore and memory I have ever gotten my neurons on. Probably explains the headaches and mild insomnia”

21. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Jozre: “I sleep the whole 7-8 hours one needs and am usually very adaptable to my needs. I snore very lightly but may snore loud if I am not flat on my bed. I usually can sleep wherever and am not picky but I do prefer a slightly soft bed that conforms to me as best as possible. I am ashamed to say that once in a wile, I sleep walk and may act out what I am dreaming or just walk around and mumble nonsense”

Alinthiel: “I actually love sleeping just as much as I like studding so I get a snooze when ever I allow myself. I have been told that I snore but I am sure that is not true” it totally is true.

22. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Jozre: “I find witty and ironic things funny as well as life stories retold as a joke. I like to think I have a good and broad sense of humor. I on the other hand am a bit of a hit and miss when it comes to telling comedy though people have told me that I am funnier when I am not actively trying to be funny but do or say something amusing”

Alinthiel: “most people don't find it funny but I find most pun comedy to be hilarious like the one about telling jokes...periodically!” *begins to snort and wheeze*

23. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Jozre: “I usually don't notice but people tell me I always have this warm smile to me and wag my tail when I am in a good mood. I also tend to whistle tunes and act a little giddy once in a wile. I also tend to sing songs I like even though I cant sing even to save my life”

Alinthiel: “When I am happy, I like to dance and waltz around as well as act like a total nerd about the topic of magic at the current situation”

24. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Jozre: “betrayal and disloyalty really hurt me the most as well as failing those I love more than anything else in the world. I get this sense of worthlessness that really bums me out and makes me ask ‘why’. I have never cried openly, too proud for that. Unfortunately, sadness would soon lead to rage and a desperate need to enact justice. Fortunately, I have become much less susceptible to this once I met Mi’Jirra and my other friends because of the strength they give me. Now I just let things flow down the river”

Alinthiel: “remembering what the Thalmor did to me and my people’s reputation really gets me down though everything unfair in this world bothers me. How unfair and unjust the pro Thalmor altmer, the dark elves, some of the nords and their gods treat others really gets my blood boiling. That is why I am so determined to finish my research into finally shattering all barriers between races and world to eliminate beliefs of superiority and make everyone happy. The thought that I may never achieve this also bothers me greatly but I cant stop now”

25. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Jozre: “Molag Bal and his penchant to corrupt and flay the souls of others absolutely horrifies me to the core. I also find spiders and zombies to be scary but the thing that scares me the most? Loosing Mi’Jirra and not being able to be with her forever in this world and the next. I know its probably selfish and pathetic but I cant go on as I am now with out her and that is why I dedicate my self to protecting her and supporting her in any way” Jozre acts serious but with a visible hint of desperation and fight or flight instinct ready to explode.

Alinthiel: “I am afraid of being trapped in this world after death, to linger on aimlessly bound to the earth bones as a spirit or being reincarnated into this world again wile nords go to sovenguard and so on. Its not fair. I want everyone to have the freedom of bliss after death.”

26. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

Jozre: “Depends. I become over protective of my loved ones and promise to guard their secrets with out telling a soul. With my enemies is another story entirely because one’s fear is a powerful weapon. I know its dark to use your enemies fears against them but I like to have the ability to control confrontations and with them before they heat up.

Alinthiel: “I believe in a fair fight so I don't use fears of others unless I really have to”

27. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Jozre: “I practice my sword and shield once in a wile and do a lot of lifting work at the docs when ever they need muscle. Most of the time however, I....practice yoga and my Daibellan arts in private if you get my meaning” Jozre those a kind of belly dancing were he exercises the hip, core, thigh and pelvic muscles as well as building control of his motion among other work outs.

Alinthiel: “I mostly dance actually. I also do Yoga”

28. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Jozre: “I used to drink a lot for a year but stopped outright after I met Mi’Jirra and her family so I could seem like a better person. It was also bad for my health so there is that though I do drink during special occasions but just enough to be social. When I did drink my fill, I was a giggle box and would laugh at almost any joke, I also had a bit of a tipsy gate but only fell down once. There was that one time...I kind of ran down the road naked and scared everyone saying I was a were bunny. I don't judge anyone for drinking as long as they keep it civil and friendly. I do tease my friends when their smashed though but make sure I am there to help”

Alinthiel: “oh man do I ever! I love drinking and know how to drink most under the table hahaha! I use magic to keep my self composed enough to not get into too much trouble but when I am drunk, I am a singer and kind of tend to ramble on about philosophical nonsense”

29. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Jozre: “I like to dress comfortable and practical with simple v neck tunics and loose shorts that end at bellow the knees. I like to sleep on my loincloth actually which I only say, makes me feel free but grips well on the hips. Its when I expect any danger when I wear my armor at all times, even if its just a gambeson. I like to comb my hair back after cleaning it carefully though it always looks wolfish because of how silky it is”

Alinthiel: “I like to dress to look as intelligent as I am and for that, I prefer robes and tunics with cultural designs. I been rocking the winterhold instructor style and I love it actually though the nord wool is too itchy to wear on skin so I wear an altmeri silk dress beneath. I like to always be prepared so I like to carry my tools with me like potions, flasks, my note tome and enchanted jewelry of my own design with practical and empowering functions. I like to sleep on the softest and silkiest shirts and dresses for a good sleep so I made sure to bring my own. Nords are not known for their soft textiles. I love my hair mostly because it keeps me work in the wintery north and its a nice pillow so I make sure to comb it straight and side ways on my crown for some glamor. even a bookworms got to look good right?”

30. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

Jozre: I like to wear slightly loose fitting loincloths that make me feel free and are easy to remove. I hate it when cloth articles squeeze and grip my unmentionables”

Alinthiel: I like to wear a set of tights under another, I like them conforming to me, you know?

31. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Jozre: “I am of a bulky broad shoulder and muscular complexion with a wide torso and hips and I am 6′7 give or take because of my natural Cathey-Rhat stature. I think I like my body, I feel happy with my self and know that so do my loved ones”

Alinthiel: “I am a little short for a high elf at around 6 feet tall and am a bit on the thin side with long limbs though I have no muscle at all. I don't really mind my body, never rally gave it a though to be honest. Not proud or ashamed, I just am.”

32. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

Jozre: “My most guilty pleasure has to be sex. I am sorry but when I am with my one and only in bed after hours of passion and love, I rarely am happier of my life then at that moment. What's worse is that I am so invested in making my love as happy and as pleased as she would ever be that I practice how to move and read how to best pleasure a woman to the point of it being what I am best at. I am better in bed than in the battle field for crying out loud!”

“my unguilty pleasure? good food by far and it shows when ever at the table. When I eat something that is perfectly cooked and spiced like my favorite food, I take my time savoring every bite and tend to be the last to finish haha”

Alinthiel: “my guilty pleasure has to be sleeping, I cant help it! besides almost always being tired to a degree, I just find sleep in a nice warm bed to be too calming to resist”

“my unguilty pleasure has to be a nice pint or 5 of hard cider ale! oh man do I love getting drunk and tasting that sweet nectar go down so smoothly, its art to make good cider ale or Vodka. I think I know a furry friend of mine that also likes cider ale.”

33. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Jozre: “besides, well, my skill in bed, I am actually really good at fighting and specially at tank support roles. I have built the dexterity and endurance to be able to take a lot of punishment and dish it back just as hard. wile I am good at fighting, I am even better at protecting others with pin point block and saves wile providing support. My favorite Hobby would have to be traveling and enjoying diverse cultures around the world. I love to learn of the other cultures and to taste their foods and drinks is one of the most fulfilling things in my life.

Alinthiel: “I am very good at magic and love to practice it when ever I am not asleep, busy on my responsibilities or drinking a nord under the table. Thanks to being a high elf, I had ample time to hone my self so I can actually sing very well or well enough”

34. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Jozre: “I like to read yea, not my favorite past time but don't hate it. I am a middle ground reader you know? not too fast but not slow. I like poetry and nice literature, there are a good few classics out there to learn from”

Alinthiel: “Do I like to read? hahaha you forgot I am a mage? come on man, course I do like to read, yea! I am a fast reader, I have to be so that I can learn all I can about the topic I study. Poetry and fiction are hind of meh for me but what I hate is that pompous self indulgent of the dark elves. You think the Thalmor are the only bad birds around? Go visit the Telvanii and Dres and you will learn how much of a bunch of munchkins they are”

35. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Jozre: “I have always admired my family but most of all, I admire Mi’Jirra for her amazing skill in magic and willingness to live life at its fullest and protect herself from anyone. I guess I admire peoples determination and ability to live and love” “another thing that I admire Mi’Jirra is her amazing skill in magic which is recognized even by savants like Alinthiel as a person of immense potential. I on the other hand can barely use enough magic to cast the simplest spells naturally. Not being gifted is after a set back of being a Cathey-Rhat: we bigger cats just don't have the natural ability others have”

Alinthiel: “I admire heroism, honesty and fairness. Some one that will not do things selfishly or trick others for self serving motives. Sadly, I have never read of any hero in all of tamrielic history as pure of heart and soul as I would prefer.”

36. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Jozre: “Not really, I don't like coffee. Now sweets like Moon sugar, pies and breads is another story!”

Alinthiel: “why would anyone like an energy potion? Their too bitter for normal consumption and it may give you a heart attack if too much is drunk. I prefer to suck on a coffee bean instead of drinking it”

37. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Jozre: “I am straight. I kind of have a thing for shorter girls, I don't know why. Though I really cant find anyone but my current girlfriend as truly attractive. Mentally, I prefer a girl that is loyal and willing to deeply love me just as I would love her. I don't really care about personal quirks really because I am generally a very flexible guy and am willing to conform to a girl I love with in reason.”

Alinthiel: “I haven really given any thought on it. I mean I have never been with anyone. I guess my “knight in shining armor” would be someone that would appreciate me and the work I do to better the lives of others and protect the weak and downtrodden from oppressors. Probably some one that would support my cause. As for what sex I prefer, I guess I am what they call bisexual but never interested me to think of it. I guess who ever comes first and wins me over”

38. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Jozre: “I have always wanted to be a hero bus more importantly, a hero to a beautiful maiden like in the stories. I guess you could say that my dreams have evolved ever sines I met Mi’Jirra in the streets of Whiterun. My life’s goals now are really to live my life to the fullest alongside Mi’Jirra and to protect her from all harm as best as I can. When it comes down to it, all I want is to live and love and would sacrifice anything to be with Mi’Jirra and see her happy as long as she was ok with it”

Alinthiel: “My life’s ambition is to defeat the Thalmor and end the savage cycle of violence and hate that plagues our land. I don't know how and I don't know if I would ever be able to fully achieve this even if I find the right emperor’s candidate to sit in the ruby throne and rule with fairness and wisdom. My greatest ambition, how ever, is to defy and defeat the gods and their arbitrary ways of afterlife. Even if I have to fight and some how bring Talos or even Lorkan low to heel so that the wishing souls not of nord background can enter Sovenguard, than so be it. If there is a way I can find the power to match a god and force them to no longer forbid the worthy from such paradises because of some absurd racial dogma with out seeking the help of the dark Daedra or other unimaginable evils, then so be it. The Elder Scrolls may be my only hope.”

39. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Jozre: “I guess I am religious. My family has always praised the gods Mara, Kinarthy and the lunar twins as I do thought with the addition of Daibella. Having said that, religion can get very nasty when headed by the wrong people. For some examples you only need to look at the following: Stormcloaks, The Stendarr inquisition, just about every dark elf religion to name a few.”

Alinthiel: “I know religion and gods exist but for now, I owe my allegiance to no credo and god. I will only follow a god that will aid me in my quest”

40. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

Jozre: “I don't really have a favored season but winters in Skyrim are murder! I hate how cold it is and it makes travel in the northern parts and on mountain paths down right dangerously impossible to pass. I mean seriously, it can get so cold in the mountains that you need hours of prep just to give yourself a chance of not freezing to death or catching frost bite. The weather I enjoy the most is sunny days in Skyrim and summer/late spring cloudy days. Having said all that, I am as adaptable as one can get but prefer to not brave a harsh weather I don't have to brave.”

Alinthiel: “I don't really mind any weather so long as it is not an obstacle to my visits to ruins and excavation sites. Even then, I have lived in Winterhold for so long that I have learned how to stay worm enough to get from A to B as efficiently as possible”

41. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

Jozre: “how people see me? The only ones I care how they view me are Mi’Jirra and my loved ones. Truthfully, I get all kinds of reactions from others: accept, hero, mercenary, pest, thief, plebe just to name a few. The why I only care about viewing my self as is the protector and provider of my loved ones.”

Alinthiel: “To my students, I am the teacher, the potions master, the creepy skinny scare crow, and the introvert. My enemies call me the rebel, the mud slinger, the heretic, the thalmor murderer among a few. Personally, I like to think of my self as the innovator, the scholar, and the seeker of a greater ruler hoping to give the good of heart a better future”

42. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

Jozre: “I like to think I make a good first impression which actually depends on the occasion. If I am looking for work then I will show how willing and capable I am with professionalism. When its a less formal meeting, I just go with how I am: a friendly and welcoming person to friendly and reasonable people. I prefer to be as honest as I can if I don't have to lie and my first impression also has to do with the occasion ranging between professional and willing to work and laid back and welcoming”

Alinthiel: “I am just my self when ever really. That those not mean I am not polite and respectful, only that I may not look awake half the time”

43. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

Jozre: “I can be proper and respectful when I have to, I just don't do it often. my family is of tradesman nobility so I have been in a couple formal occasions were we vassal for a lord or lady. I am respectful and as poise as I can be and learned to be political when I have to, not that I like all the fru fru nonsense. I chit chat and attend when I have to and like to just pull the formal wear off were ever and drink a cold one”

Alinthiel: “oh I love formal occasions and parties of high class and poise and culture. Not been to many but I like the slight moment were I get to feel like a high elf in peace time. Occasionally, such events are great ways of spying and gathering new allies so there is the plus to it all”

44. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

Jozre: “Who wouldn't like a party? hanging out with family and friends with good food and great company? sign me up! as long as the party is fun for me and my people, I don't really care what kind of party it is though I may need a few ales to get into the spirit. Even if I don't want to go, I always manage to convince my self that its worth it because your friends there so I roll with the punches”

Alinthiel: “I don't generally like big parties but if there is booze there then I guess I am game though wandering hands should expect third degree burns. I like to organize parties when ever some one asks for one but are not of people’s likening half the time because they may be too formal or gimmicky for others. When invited or forced to a party I don't want to be in, I generally and eventually see my self out. I don't see why some one would stay in a party they don't like if there is nothing practical to gain from it”

45. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Jozre: “when I get engaged or married, its absolutely my ring, its almost a lucky charm and reminder of great things I have obtained”

Alinthiel: “my most valued possession would have to be my mother’s Tome of notes. Wile it is the only thing I have left to remember my family by, It is also a crucial component in my research and ultimate goals.”

46. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Jozre and Alinthiel are not silly enough to exclude the essentials: sleeping bag, out door tent, out door cooking set, flint, rope, water, dried meat and long lasting breads, nuts and honey. Several potions and poisons for different uses from deterring unwanted animals to keeping themselves warm. The basic needs in traveling the wilderness of Nirn.

#The Elder Scrolls #Skyrim #MAGI #GalooGameLady #kahjiit #Altmer #Jozre #Mi'Jirra #Alinthiel

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namjoonchronicles · 8 years ago

Text

echelon | jk

↳ index echelon /ˈɛʃəlɒn,ˈeɪʃəlɒn/ a level or rank in an organization, a profession, or society.

↳ author’s note It’s lonely at the top and at the bottom.

If you were to describe your father, you would say the word 'attentive'. He had his own version of morals in life in which you find inspiring. And that's probably one of the reasons why you've stayed single this long. Words like, 'responsibilities', 'good-natured' and 'righteousness' always come up when he happens to talk about marriage, particularly, on the mens' side.

You decided that you won't settle for less. Your father is always concerned about his family's' well-being, always make sure that everything is there, although you don't have a lot, but you always have something and it was the kind of life that you cherished the most. You've just started working in a new area, in a new town, a suburban upper class city where everyone dresses up like Instagram models and food costs more than what you make in a week. But complaints aside, the new workplace was stressing you out so much that you return home every weekend, even if Sundays were your only day off.

You don't go home to complain about it, you went home to feel safe again. Stepping out of your comfortable zone has alway been tough and with this new part of adulthood, you find yourself seeking shelter more often than you did when you were in college. And when you get home, that sense of familiarity gives you security. And suddenly, you're no longer suffocated by the word 'expectation'. But when your father came home after about two hours buying just onions, you beamed a smile when he took out a yogurt drink that he knew you loved. "You've never been away from home for very long, so I thought I should buy something you liked, but I can't think of anything else but yogurt drinks. Come to think of it, I never realised what you really liked." Your father commented and your eyes starts sting but you smiled to hide them.

Unlike your little brother whose interests are always apparent when it comes to food, no one really knows what you really loved to eat, since you always cooked on your own. "I'm not sure what I like to, I've never really thought about it." You mean, what's there is there. You weren't very picky. And then you realised that you've never taken into consideration, things you find interests in. You know that your father love spicy potato stew, and your mom eats anything with Japanese cucumber and your brother likes pizza. But you? How about you?

So it was something to think about when you went back to work the next week. Jungkook had been waiting to get a glimpse of you today but for some reason, you hadn't been around where he'd thought you'd be. The board meeting is starting soon and he has something to declare.

And you wondered the same thing, actually. He must have been having classes but he didn't stop for lunch today. You wondered if he's doing okay. It was odd having lunch alone when you usually ate with him by the curb outside the hospital. Soon, your shift is ending and you kick away your uncomfortable pair of shoes to mere slippers. Just thirty minutes more to punch-out, and you passed a few officials wearing expensive suits. You took off your ID tag in hopes that they won't realize that you were an employee. You could be taken into disciplinary actions if one of those officials reported you to the Chief of Operation. And that's the last thing you want in your flimsy three months of employment.

You entered the same lift and pushed yourself far to the back, feeling small all of a sudden. The conversation that happened after, caught you off guard. "It's been awhile since the board members had gotten together like this." Says one elder guy. Probably a doctor.

"True-true. We need to do this more often to ensure the smooth transition from the old boss to the new one." "Have you met the director's son?" "What was he like?"

"Assertive. I'm not sure about if his views is similar to his father's but he had been showing continuous progress in developing and because he's young, his ideas are fresh but like his fathers', they are a bit too far fetched."

"Interesting fellow, indeed. Few words. But once he speaks, you'll be astounded." "This is the first time he'll ever be introduced as the official member of the board, isn't it?" "Yes. But he's no stranger to the company, he had been paying a close watch to a lot of department as well as developing new sections for us to pursue on, and I must say, I see the profits in the things he's trying to implement. We could ensure three, maybe five years of increment."

Your eyes widened as you realised that you are sharing the elevators with possibly one third of the hospital's board of directors. You didn't know how the director looks like, but he had one of the best minds in the industry. You've read of his writings about inspiring, and nurturing young minds. But business oriented person would see nothing more than profits in everything he does, so you prayed that his son isn't the kind that would completely disregard the fundamental basis of a healthcare institution. Because all the other board members are more interested in getting the monthly increment than thinking about pursuing the company's goal.

The elevator dings and doors opened and they all walked out, you followed quietly. That's when board members lined to each side, greeting the founder/owner of the healthcare company. Although his hair was graying a little, his smile is bright as he nodded to each members as a greeting. And right behind him was a slightly taller young man whose face is still hidden behind the founder. The doors stays open as their bodyguard held them open and you took the cue to step out and take the stairs instead. But you couldn't fight your curiosity. You waited until you could his face, the director's son. When the old man walked straight to the elevator, you stood at the side, watching silently. Everyone gave a 90 degree bow, and you halted a little. That's when you locked gaze with him. The director's son.

But. It can't be. Those eyes are not the director's. Those are Jungkook's.

You knew he felt a sting of familiarity but he averted his eyes away as if you were a stranger. Not the girl he ate lunch with. Not the girl he waits for, everyday, after work.

Your heart felt strange. You felt like you've been betrayed. Of all the three months you knew him, he never had the chance to tell you that he's the director's son? Why?

The next encounter was nothing less than brutal. He ignored you when he was out with his friends. He was hanging out with the rest of the rich kids in the city and when he locked gaze with you in the mall for the rich and bored, he was quick to look away. You glanced to your feet and realized that you were wearing flip flops in one of the most expensive cities to live in. You gave a bitter smile when he was standing just five steps away. When his 'friends' were busy looking at expensive clothes, Jungkook was standing outside, unable to speak. He looks away but his legs won't move. "You can talk to me, they're not watching." You said.

He blinks as if he has been found out.

"You're embarrassed to be acquainted to me, aren't you? Because I wear flip flops and you wear Nike. I eat my lunch at the curb and not in Starbucks. I use my shoes till the top falls out and my socks are torned at the toes, I'm poor... I get it. But unlike you, I wasn't pretending. I can't pretend to be friends with someone." You scoffed, bitterly. "Listen, I..." He started. But you moved away before he could say more. Your housemate ran after you, "Do you know who you were talking to? That's the director's son!"

"I don't give a fuck who he is."

Don't underestimate the power of hate. It consumes you and kills him, little by little. Because of his desires to keep his position in the upper echelons, he lost a friend. A genuine friend. And a truck load of fake friends, will never fill-in the emptiness a loyal friend left behind. How will he ever apologize?

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #jungkook au #heir au #jungkook heir #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagines #jungkook scenarios #bts scenarios #bts imagines

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