#and every account i block fb churns out some more for me to block

[meitantei-lavi]

i love that fb's response to u hiding an account that shows u content that u Do Not Want to see is to go "sounds like you ACTUALLY want to see more of this content that u Do Not Want to see!!!!!"

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know i think one of my biggest mistakes in high school was actually neglecting the use of my school diaries each year, to plan my work and stuff. bc now when I use a diary to try and remember assignment dates and stuff, I just write them in there and ignore checking the diary.... so as to purposely forget that I have assignments and other uni work tasks etc..... until the day that theyre due or just past the day that theyre due.... just like i did in high school.

like yes there’s also the fact that I refused to use my diary properly from years 7-10..... bc i always refused to get it signed by my dad..... bc i really thought that the diary monitoring rule that the catholic school i was at during those years had created, was borderline intrusive.... and that was all bc they’d give you detention for writing non-school related stuff in it like your friends birthdays and stuff...... stuff meaning writing your fave celebs/your fave band members birthdays in there lmao.

so then i just went: “well fuck authority! you fuckin nosy ass fools will never see in my fuckin diary!!!” (besides the point that i did actually get an arvo/afternoon detention for whiting out a “bad note” from a PE teacher after I screamed at my entire class to FUCK OFF in a sport lesson in year 8 once)..... because i thought they had absolutely no fucking business looking in my diary; both before and after that.... because they always kinda threatened that a student’s diary was “the school’s property and not the student’s property”. when, in reality, you got to keep the diary as yours at the end of the year (like y’all. i still have those diaries laying around in my drawers lmao. “it’s the schools property and not yours!” my ass lol.).

but anyway, my point is that i regret never using those said school diaries to plan out study time and due dates.... bc now in my mid20s I still haven’t got the hang of it... and I now half realise that the diary signing thing where both teachers and parents signed your diary was to check on your progress... to see if you could manage planning your time.... which comes in handy with uni and work. because still, to this day, I can’t manage my time AT ALL.... and that’s how I burnt out majorly in 2019 with my postgrad course..... and “im great with time management and planning” is still my biggest fucking lie on my linkedin/resumé tbh. all because my fucking inability in bothering to properly plan things and only “work when i feel like it/work when i have the energy to... bc fuck timetables and diary planning!!!” and since now i only have myself to monitor my progress, i literally have no fucking accountability lmao 😅 bc i don’t bother to monitor my own progress through things lmao 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️.

i’ve had this habit for so long...... that im sure that it’ll never change probably, and i’ll just continue to ignore diary planning etc for the rest of my life. all because i couldn’t fucking stand teachers snooping through my school diary; to try and find something to give me detention for doing.... like i got detention the most for writing the birthdays of my fave band members in my school diary in every week of their bday month bc i couldn’t remember the exact date of their birthdays 😂 for example. i’m pretty sure one diary checker teacher gave me detention for writing a friends birthday in during september. then i got detention for writing song lyrics all over/all through my diary. i also got detention for using it as a handbag once as a fashion statement.... bc i pulled out half of the spiral spine 😂😂.

finally, i was a repeat offender of needing “diary pages”. I’d pretend that I hadn’t taken my diary to school that day (monday or whatever) when my half of the year got our diaries signed by some teacher who was assigned as our diary checker...... so that, in turn, gave me weeks and weeks worth of detentions that i barely ever bothered to attend anyway (despite the begging of my friends to do so) bc it was a dumb asf reason to give me detention. then I’d get detention for not gluing those said diary pages into my diary and not showing them to the diary signer teacher.... my friends eventually took to harassing me on fb nearly every week to get my diary signed... but I still never did it 😂😂.

like when you give students detention for EVERY LITTLE SINGLE FUCKING THING EVER.... dont you think that some kids are gonna fucking rebel and not bother to do things the way that they’re supposed to be done???? like fuck off and don’t sign my diary every fucking week lmao 😂. and this was why my moving to public school was so damn relieving bc the teachers there didnt give a fuck about signing diaries of senior students.... whereas I still would’ve had this absolute bullshit going on until I graduated high school in 2013; if I’d stayed at the catholic school.

anyway I went kinda off topic there.... but you get my point. having this constant diary snooping in high school was why recording due dates and stuff in my diary was actually a deterrent for me to use diaries correctly to monitor my work and progress. so, that now i just ignore them and still can’t manage my time properly. and I regret it now. like I’ve tried to do it with homework apps on my phone as well. but I purposely ignored those apps as well.

so, to any of my younger followers or just younger tumblr users in general: please DON’T follow this behaviour. bc it’s what leads to burnout and overloading yourself with too many assignments etc at the last minute... instead of planning them in 20min blocks etc or whatever.... so that you finish your work over time.... instead churning out full assignments in 8hour block marathons right before they’re due. learn to manage your time with your school diaries. or even your phone with homework apps!

finally I hope schools some how abolish the habit of diary checking and giving everything a detention offence. like y’all. I was 12-16. of course I was gonna do some dumb asf defying rules bullshit.... and i was more likely to do it anyway considering I was obsessed with celebs/band members who did the same thing in a way.