#and eventually was talking about stuff that wasnt even about the show

[malkaviian]

thinking between drama between oc trios because i have been listening to a certain vocaloid saga (which i have no idea how it is called ngl)

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

Oh god now that toh ends with luz being able to travel between worlds ppl are using that to dunk on amphibia. And now that belos died ppl are using that to dunk on su.

They are different shows people! They have different themes! Amphibia is a classic take on isekai as escapism! Marcy went to amphibia to avoid her real life and while she had fun she didnt mature until after she accepted she needed to embrace change in her life! Anne matured in amphibia bc she always recognized that she has her own life to get back to! Sasha matured after realizing that too! Leaving amphibia for good means to embrace the step out of childhood! Something thats inevitable for everyone!

The owl house is about finding a community in midst of ostracization! Luz stayed in the boiling isles because she found people who accepted her quirks! The boiling isles was in danger from a bigot and luz helps her new community defeat him! Its a very queer story! Community is the center of the story so it makes sense for luz to be able to go back to the boiling isles since shes maintaining her place in the community!

Steven universe is about choosing to be kind! Its that everyone has their own specific traumas that they can overcome with the right support! Its about surviving in a world of bigots at any cost, even if it you have to work with the bigots to carve out a space for the people you love! Because people like you exist and theres nothing anyone in power can do about it! Its also a very queer story! The diamonds can never stamp out the off colors because they will always be there! Steven works with the diamonds not because he likes them but because they can improve the world for his family if only he could get through to them! Hes rewarded for choosing to be kind with success because the theme of the show is hope! Hope that anyone can change! But even though the diamonds stop being fascist steven still doesnt like them because its not about forgiveness! Its about fixing things! Stevens just polite about it!

The owl house starts off with the assumption that everyone can change but its not about the potential its about the willingness to change! The focus is on belos, whos had every chance to turn his life around but will never admit that hes wrong! And the show posits that if someone isnt willing to change theyre not worth helping! Its not about whether or not the character is fascist its about if theyre willing to stop being fascist! Several characters stop being fascist and are welcomed by the characters with open arms belos just wasnt one of them! Several characters clean up their acts but dont adequately address the previous harm they did and are STILL fully forgiven eventually! For toh forgiveness is paired with fixing things you just need to give it time!

And theres an argument that some of these shows didnt do their themes well. If you wanted to portray amphibia as an escapism world that the girls need to leave behind to get to their richer futures then having them get such caring found families go against that by giving them a potential of a good life in the isekai world. Steven universe uses the diamonds as metaphors for mental illness and relationships but its hard to stick with that when you also need to consider the countless other gems they hurt. I think its also fair if people prefer one theme over another.

But a lot of stuff i see comparing these shows just go over surface similarities? Like oh shit! These two shows have the same character archetypes! They have the same inciting incident! This must mean that theyre exactly the same in everything but names and artstyle and are trying to say the exact same things! Like. No. Sometimes,,,,,two stories,,,,,,can talk about two different things,,,,,,,

[boysinmaidoutfits]

I could have you, couldn’t I?

Part II. Part III.

Theodore Nott x Reader

Planning on making this a series, just wanted to see if anyone likes it! English is not my first language so sorry if there’s any typos! Hope you enjoy!!💚

“Hiding from me topolino?(little mouse)” he looked down at me with a sly smirk on his face, and oh damn, i knew i was in trouble. I avoided his gaze “I..i dont know what you mean.” I said, he chuckled taking my chin and lifting it up so im looking at him.”Don’t play dumb with me, cara mia” He took a step closer, i took a step back it was almost like a cat and mouse game,until my back hit the bookshelves and i found myself trapped between his arms while he was supporting himself by putting his hands on the bookshelves.His piercing gaze could burn a hole into me, his locks slightly falling into his face, his brows furrowed.”You’ve been avoiding me, why?” He asked with a slightly annoyed tone.”I haven’t” I answered and the fact that i lied even pissed him off more, he rolled his eyes his head cocking to one side, i could see he was annoyed or even angry, i could never tell. “Just tell me per l'amor del cielo(for heaven’s sake)” This time i could tell he was annoyed, his italian always came out when he was angry or annoyed. I was pissed off, but for what reason? I wasnt even quite sure.”Why the fuck do you even care?” I slightly raised my voice as I looked into his eyes anger written all over my face. “Why, why, why. What do you mean why? Can’t you see i care?” He hit the bookshelves next to me as he looked at me again”You’re important..” Thats when i knew i messed up, everyone said he never really showed his true feelings and now he did.”Theo I..” “Save it”He took a step back not even looking at me as he stormed out of the library, slamming the door shut. Was i out of my mind or did just Theodore Nott admit that I was important to him?

The day passed by in a blink of an eye, and i never once stopped thinking about Theodore, i was scanning the hallways, the classrooms for his eyes but never found them, even if i saw him he wouldn’t look at me. When i sat by the lunch table with Mattheo and the rest of his friends along with Theodore, he did the same thing. I was always with them during lunch talking and laughing with them especially with Theodore and now he literally didnt pay any attention to me and acted like I wasnt even there. Eventually i got enough and stood up heading straight to the lockers to gather my stuff so i could study in my dorm for the exams. My mind was racing with thoughts, i looked out from behind my locker door only to see him. Making out with a random girl, and i swore i saw him looking at me with a sly smirk. I slammed my door shut, now this was pissing me off, i felt angry and disappointed, i knew that i would always be his best friend’s little sister and he would never look at me any other way but one thing was certain, i knew i wanted to change that. And the perfect opportunity came as tomorrow was the day of the annual Halloween party of the year and it was the perfect chance a girl could ever get to seduce Theodore Nott.

[crushedsweets]

i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy

i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..

nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.

nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.

although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'

again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.

and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.

nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.

so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.

nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL

nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.

nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..

nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..

nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.

they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.

nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.

ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Telling them you love them for the first time

Some tooth rotting fluff to make up for the angst last night!!

Shorter hcs cuz I'm EEPY, apologies for any OOC stuff <\3

Slenderman;

Hes good at reading you, so he already knew that you held at least some considerable amount of affection for him

And sometimes, inside your head, he'd tell you how much he adored you... but either of you ever said the L word

You'd think that an ancient forest cryptid would be prepared for such a word, and yet..

when you first said it, he visibly froze. For the first time since you've met him, he seemed to be.... lost

He didnt say anything, but that wasnt out of character. . He hardly spoke, even in your head

After a moment of processing, his body eased, and he simply. Pulled you close, with his tentacles. Still not saying a word

It was a rather bizarre experience, actually, especially considering he began to cacoon you in his tendrils

Definitely one that needs to get used to it, but doesnt seem to take it negatively

Please hes still learning human romance

Splendorman;

Unlike his brother, Splendor has a better grasp of what human romance is like, what with him mingling with people all the time

Hes much more vocal, too, so when you finally say the three words..

He squeals after processing what you said, before giggling, and beginning to bounce on his heels

He doesnt care if hes being... embarrassing? Hyper? Giddy?

Hes over the moon, scoops you up if he knows you'd be comfortable with it-

-boundaries are important!

Hes giddy for the rest of the day

No

Hes giddy for the rest of the week

Also admits he loves you as well, probably says it everyday at least once tbh

Laughing Jack;

Comically stops in the middle of whatever he was doing; even if he has to break the laws of physics (clown logic)

Eyes you for a minutes

Snorts

"Aww! I love ya too toots!" Stretches his arm over, likely across the room, to lightly pap your cheek before snapping his arm back into place

Easily one of the most chill about it

But you can see a new pep in his step afterwards and his giggling seems to ramp up

Sorry his is so short but I really think this is all Jack would react with 😭😭

Eyeless Jack;

Given how I usually write for him, you can bet that his reaction will be...

Well he just doesnt expect it, ever. He truly thinks that hes unlovable, given that whole "hey I'm turning into a man eating monster" thing

So when you say it, hes stunned for a few seconds like slender was. Dead quiet for another couple of seconds

Rather than holding you, though, he just asks why

I mean you could have gone out with anyone, you could have left and never came back; he was certain you would eventually

But this..

Complicates with his current doubts..

He'll ask you if you meant it, too

Despite the... initial response, with the denial, his behavior around you seems to become more relaxed

Let's loose, really

Well not totally; it's a process!

He'll ask you for reassurance a fair number of times

Masky;

Masky already shows wordless affections a lot

From cheesy gifts like flowers and (stolen) treats

To..

Sitting at the foot of your bed watching you sleep at night

Hey hes protecting you!

Realizing that I kinda write him like a stray cat

Gives you birds and rats every morning/j

No but back on track, you two are already fairly affectionate to one another in your own quirky ways

He'll never say the words verbally, as I personally hc he doesn't talk (if he does, its RARE), but he'll sure as hell express it in his own ways

He doesn't seem phased when you say it

You mean to tell him that anytime you reciprocated his kind gestures that wasnt you letting him know you love him?

You notice his gift giving seems to pick up

Otherwise, nothing seems to change

.....he does seem more open to physical affection.... more likely to hold and cuddle you..... that totally isnt related...... totally......

Hoodie;

Very similar to masky but his way of affection is more.... not watching you sleep

He was already open to physical affection, he cant seem to keep his hands off you

Now that just be my way of writing brian bleeding into how I write hoodie

Which

Considering they're kinda... the same person(?), it makes sense that some mannerisms would overlap

His back straightens up and he seems to.. brighten up when you say it though

He points to himself, and you repeat the phrase

He'll sign it back, and the two of you just

Carry on

Very anticlimactic, but I also feel its realistic in a way; you both already love each other and know it, saying it out loud doesnt really change a thing if its already a clear truth; at least for Hoodie

[cattonicdragon]

Love you stuff man could do bendy Alice poppy nightmare chica and marinette with a ghost reader that can manipulate electronic stuff please =]

Alice,poppy,bendy,nightmare chica and marionnete/puppet x ghost reader who can interact with electronics

Eeeeee I'm very glad you enjoy my content!,of course I can!

Alice angel

Alice has been in the studio for a very long time so It wouldnt be surprising is she came across some ghosts

However it wasnt until she saw you interacting with a faulty projector that got her interest piqued

She cant do anything to you and dosnt see you as a threat,so shes relatively passive around you

As long as you dont pop up when shes doing something important than she dosnt mind your presence

She tells pity for you after finding out you. Cant interact with anything that isn't electronic/mechanical

You can also interact with lights etc

Sometimes you both scare intruders together,whilst you flicker the lights she scares the living daylight out of them

She adores having soft moments with you

Since you can fuck around with the projectors you have alot of movie dates

Poppy

Poppy also inhabits a place where ghost sightings probally arnt irregular

After the factory is abandoned and she's freed she finds many strange things happening

Like seeing you messing around in a room full of electronics,you made a boogie bot play never gonna give you up,a old computer blue screen,and currently screwing with an old peice of machinery

You give her alot of company,considering that fact your the ghost who's stayed around her the longest and she cant risk any of the other toys due to some obvious things.

She likes to watch you mess with electrical equipment in Hope's she can find out how you can do it

You sometimes possess a inactive boogie bot to stroll with her and talk,this way it gives you a somewhat solid form

It's also the only way she can interact with you when doing things like holding hand or hugging

Bendy

Since the studio is his realm theres not a very high chance he wouldnt know about the presence of a ghost

The first time he saw you he did try to attack you,no ghosts can interact with the electronics and machinery,so why can you?

Hes very confused and watches you from a far the majority of the time

If you leave a movie playing on a discarded projector he'll watch it through

Bendy at first dosnt want to approach you as he thinks that if he grows to bond and "like" you then he will become weak

Once eventually talking to you thought it's not to bad,its just the initial meeting goes horribly

Hes very rude at the start throwing insults or trying to bring you down,like you arnt already dead🙄

But once getting past that it's all good

He dosnt need to protect you because your dead so its 1 less problem for him

He likes watching short films or horros,he cant sit still for extremly long movies,he prefers it short and action packed.

He likes giving you different things around the studio to see what you can and cant manipulate

Nightmare chica

She trys to hunt kids and kill them,so ghosts are expected

She dosnt expect to see you messing around with CCs toys and making him cry,she hadnt even attacked yet

You dislike her apon first meeting,you played with the toys to scare the child not kill him,these animatronics were doing the opposite of what you were

After learning their intentions you mess with stuff around the house,one time accidentally waking up the parents

You eventually talk it out,but that's only after a loooonnnnngggg time of back and forth

She will ask on the odd occasion if you can help scare the kid,whether you do or not is up to you though

Will watch TV with u if theres a good program on etc

You can prank the other nightmares by controlling them to,works 9/10

If you can take on a terrifying form she will 200% ask you to scare kids with it,and to just show her in general

You both make cupcakes together and she eats them,how?🤷‍♀️

Marionette/puppet

Shes dealt with souls/ghosts before but has never seen one that can manipulate electronics

Shes very intrigued

Due to her usually calm nature you both get along amazingly

Sometimes you play a prank ok the guard and make the prize corners camera go staticy,good luck nightguard

If she finds a spare suit shell ask you if you want to possess it

You like to mess around with the lights during and show and even one time made Toy Bonnie's guitar go out of tune,the show that he played later didnt go very well

You fuck around with the night guards monitor and camera alot,sometimes even turning off the office lights

Marionette likes to give little gifts to you and even has a little corner in her box designated for you

After hours hanging out

I apologize that this is so short I wasnt a whole lot sure what to do

[totheidiot]

Lawlight coffee shop au thought that wont leave my brain. Since L knows Light's schedule [its probably the same all of the time because of university] what if Light didn't come in one day. L is outside per usual waiting for Light to show up, and by the time he's supposed to be there, he isn't. Maybe he's late [he isn't late. In all of this time he's never been late.], its not a huge deal. Eventually L realizes that Light is Not Coming and calls him [somehow L got him to exchange phone numbers. Light probably did it out of politeness. L's contact name is probably 'freak from work' or something] because texting has a delayed response and he's curious to hear what made Mr. Perfect and Professional late. A very sick, tired and confused Light picks up the phone without reading the contact because as previously said he is sick, tired, and confused, and as soon as he hears L's voice he recognizes it [because of course he does. This guy comes into his job every day].

L says something about Light not being in work. Light tells him that he's sick and has a fever. L asks if he's taken medicine. Light thinks its a stupid question because obviously he did. why wouldnt he. Its common sense [he just says yes]. L asks what his temperature is because he feels like being nosy about this and Light just says "its not that bad" [it is that bad] which is Suspicious because if it really wasnt that bad he wouldve just said a number. He doesn't press on it much because Light can just hang up on him if he annoys him too hard and that would suck.

Anyway it becomes very clear that the only things Light has done are take his temp, take medicine, and call in sick to work. So L decides hes going to go over there to check on Light [dont ask how he has his address, i dont know] because he sounds like shit and who else is he supposed to bother at the coffee shop. Light objects to this and says that hes fine but L is still going [obviously].

Anyway they hang out and stuff [L has hand sanitizer on him and makes a point of using it way too much he is NOT getting sick] and Light is pissed off about the whole thing [naturally] but at least he isnt being accused of being a wanted criminal so thats a plus[?]. L leaves after a little while and after this i imagine that Light is like "wait. Does he care. Why does this not bother me." And realizes that hes starting to see L as an actual friend and is so disgusted/confused and decides that the sickness is getting to him [its not that] and agressively doesnt think about it or the fact that the feeling doesnt go away after hes healthy. L's already had this realization but it was more like "huh. I guess we are friends." And thats it. Anyway they dont talk about it after this but it bothers Light soooo bad. [If this is innacurate its because its late and im tired but this had to leave my brain. Also i had to retype this because i accidentally closed tumblr after getting really excited about getting a card in proseka so ✌️jeez this is way longer than i thought lol]

THE WAY I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENING??? like a few days ago, i had this half-baked idea where light doesn't come to work for whatever reason (sickness wasn't my only idea for why he was off like maybe it's sayu's birthday and that's why he needs to go home or something but THIS IDEA. he js off because of sickness yes). so light wakes up with a cold and fever one weekend and he is like fuckkkk and he just calls up the cafe and calls kn sick and asks if mikami can take his shift today as well as do his own. kind of on topic but also not i figured out matsuda + mikami + light's schedule. light takes evening shifts three days on the weekdays and mikami takes the remaining two days along with working with light together for one day. matsuda works the morning and afternoon shifts in the weekdays because he's not a student like light and mikami is. on the weekends, light works the morning shift that kind of falls onto noon (like 9 am to 1 pm) and mikami works from 1 pm to 5 pm. MOVING ON FROM THAT.

so L pulls up to the cafe in his usual morning time in aaturday, expecting to find light there but he is surprised to find that there's another barista, mikami. he js deeply confused like light-kun is the most punctual man he has ever met, he works at the cafe in all of his shifts without fail. and a part of him is. disappointed that he is not catching sight of light. he needs to find out what's going on with him. he enters the cafe, not joining the ordering queue though because the only person he is ever getting service from is light. he kinda just hangs around and he is about to call light to learn why he wasn't here but then, mikami spots him and he recognizes L. mikami's shifts coincide with light's shifts sometimes so he'll sometimes see L, talking to light and getting his order from light. also light complains about him sometimes since mikami and matsuda are most probably the only people he actually talks to and can call 'friends', other than L of course.

so mikami is intrigued, calls L over, says hello, tells him that light talks about him sometimes. he informs L that oh, light is off sick so he is taking over his shift. L is like oh?? he leaves the cafe and goes to give light a call. LIGHT HAS HIM SAVED FREAK FROM WORK, THAT IS SO SO SO CANONNNN. post learning his name, i think the first thing light does is so so smugly, take out his phone, go to his contacts and saves his number as "L". it's such a small move but he is filled with so much pride and so smug about it.

BUT ANYWAYS, calls him up and light answers without much regard. even his voice sounds sore and L pesters him with questions. light is so annoyed and tired about it and L can tell from his tone that though light is Very sick, he isn't doing shit for it. so L doesn't know his address just yet but still, he is going to show up and make sure he actually does something. L is like, "light. give me your address. i am coming to you and light is like ??? no???? why do you need my address???? (he is polite about it though) but L is ADAMANT, he is GOING to come to light's house and they are going back and forth about it but light is completely out of breath and so sore and too tired to even argue about it more so he gives up and is like, "fine. i'll text you my address."

so L pulls up, even though he had been trying so hard to convince light to come to his house to check up on him, he would still be such a bitch about it. he pulls up in a face mask, gloves, hand sanitizer and light rolls his eyes but nevertheless, L does try his best to kind of take care of light. L takes his temperature, fusses over it when he finds that it's so high. makes him hot tea and soup. it's actually kind of soft and tender. L doesn't leave light's side until it's night, when he makes sure that light goes to sleep and only after that, does he leave. light feels this strange feeling of warmth inside him and when L was taking care of him, he was so red and flushed. he doesn't think deeply about this. he blames it on the sickness.

one little, tiny detail. you mentioned in an ask that light has a cat in his apartment and i had this sudden mental image where the cat is kind of rude and antisocial, doesn't like people at all. it took so long for the cat to even warm up to light but as soon as L came into the apartment, the cat was all over him. following him around, rubbing against his leg. all of that.

THIS WAS A LONG POST BUT I HOPE YOU GET MY VISION YES. KEEP SENDING ME MORE ASKS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

[katamaridamacyonline]

tell me all of your ace attorney headcanons

to make it easier, maybe for maya fey specifically! I feel like you probably have a lot of thoughts on her

HI sorry for ignoring this ask for 12 days im gonna do it now (very very long post like holy shit how did i even type this much)

okay so for maya i have. a lot of hcs. basic stuff first she it trans (she/her), lesbian, poly, fat, and mixed black+japanese. actually there's a bit more to the fat headcanon cause i think she gains weight as she gets older, sort of as a "weight gain to represent healing" type of thing. i think around aa1 timeframe she's closer to her canon design but as she reaches more into adulthood she gains weight over time and is happier that way (part of this is because gaining weight is usually a good thing for transfems on estrogen)

okay anyways here's the part where i rant about trans maya stuff. actually i should probably talk about trans mia first cause theyre both trans in my hc and her transition actually plays an important part in maya's experience. basically mia was the first trans kurain spirit medium, before her it wasnt known that a trans woman could be a medium, but that all changed after mia realized she was a girl. for a while (months? years? not sure) mia thought that she would never be able to channel and just accepted the fact that she could be a woman but she wouldnt be able to channel, but eventually eh found that her realization of being a girl actually awakened significant spiritual power within her.

so anyways, onto maya, similar to mia she realized she was a girl when she was young, some time after misty left but while mia was still around. when mia came out, misty was very accepting in letting her transition, but with them under morgan's care they were both worried things wouldnt go as well. fortunately, mia would not let anything stop her sister from transitioning. i'm not completely sure if i think morgan would try to stop maya from transitioning or not (like yeah she's evil but idk if i see her as transphobic lol???) but if she did try to stop her mia would fight back no matter what.

anyways, maya transitions, but unfortunately things end up harder for her than mia, as maya isn't able to channel spirits. while she shows some signs of having spiritual powers, she's not anywhere close to as powerful as mia or any of the cis mediums in the family. this is deeply painful for maya and becomes a horrible source of dysphoria. how she sees it, if she can't channel spirits, she'll never really be a woman. in reality, this dysphoria is entirely false, plenty of cis women in the fey clan don't have spiritual powers (even morgan!). mia comforts her by telling her this, that she will always be a girl even if she can't channel spirits. this helps maya a lot, but it still isn't enough to fully rid her of her irrational dysphoria. it's all very hard for her, and i think morgan would definitely make everything worse for her, likely reminding her of her inability to channel for no reason other than to hurt her and make her feel inferior. but mia's positive influence helps her make it through everything, even if she does struggle a lot.

anyways, aa1 happens, and she's finally preformed her first channeling. but there's still a ton of doubt in her mind. despite now knowing she CAN channel, she's still struggling with this same dysphoria. probably thinking along the lines of. 'the only was i can channel is if i'm an urgent situation. If i was a real woman, i could channel at any moment, but i can't. I'm still just a man and nothing more." this all culminates with her inferiority complex in Turnabout Goodbyes. I actually really like reading into Maya's struggle in turnabout goodbyes as a representation of dysphoria, because the way she's hurt by not being able to channel mia is heartbreaking. hell, she literally says some genuinely suicidal things after the taser scene.

ultimately, I think maya finally begins to move past this dysphoria not because she learns to channel better, but because she finally, fully accepts mia's words to her, and i think Phoenix is really the person to finally help her out of it. sometime after turnabout goodbyes, maya opens up to phoenix about how hard this all is to her. tells him about how hard it is to feel like her womanhood is entirely dependent on a skill she struggles to grasp. phoenix would choose this as the time to finally come out to her that he too is trans, and would try his best to comfort maya, telling her how he's always seen her as a girl, how she should never doubt who she is just because she's not as skilled as her sister or mother. i think phoenix would feel some sense of guilt at this point, as he would feel like he played a part in maya's dysphoria since he was always hoping maya could channel mia again. with this, he would feel very motivated to help her through everything, both because of this guilt and just because he's now very committed to protecting maya. this of course wouldn't immediately fix everything for maya, but phoenix's continued support as they spend their days together would end up pushing her into learning to finally accept everything. over time, she's finally able to accept that no matter how strong or weak her spiritual abilities are, she'll always be a girl no matter what. of course, eventually she does become a very successful medium, but that takes much more time, and gradually freeing herself from her painful dysphoria helps her make it there.

okay wow i typed a lot what the fuck i was gonna write some stuff about other characters but this post is so long uhhhhhh apollo athena juniper trucy ema katherine sebastian adrian jinxie penny and a bunch of other ones i forgot to mention are trans women lol

[moonlit-dreamers]

*sighs loudly* so i Was going to draw them but turns out my own design is too difficult for me to draw. but i'll be making this post anyway bc this au has been cooking for so long i might as well!

Featherless Flight AU

aka dca avian au where these fucks r BIRDS

(disclaimer this is a sun x moon au. it also deals with heavy themes such as child abuse, death, violence, and. ya know. wutever tws come with the apocalypse (also these will not be talked about in detail in this post))

nothing robotic in them. just feathers, blood, and bones. a lot of that stuff may be lost or break throughout their story! but lemme at least tell u wut they look like (without having my own drawings OTL (i only have a ref for their faces (which im not confident of)))

a quick note for both of their designs, they r both Fully Covered in feathers, including their arms and faces (yes they have arms And wings). the only places that dont have feathers is their lower legs and hands. they have anthropomorphic legs. and their face shape is also similar to a barn owl, as shown here (ignore the lack of mouths, idk wut to give them)

suns design! he has the coloring and general design of a sun conure. hes full of bright reds and yellows, tho the green is replaced with a bit of blue. he has multiple crests around his head that fluff up similar to a cockatiel but theyre in a way that make it look like rays. in the drawing above is wut they look like without their crests raised; that is their default. suns feet r grasping feet which r 2 toes in the front and 2 in the back. sun has high speed wings so aes a lot faster. (if u dont know wut any of this means i recommend u look it up, im a bird nerd) sun is also specifically an omnivore (them having different diets is actually plot relevant)

moons design next. moon is the color of a hyacinth macaw tho his anatomy is closer to an owl. he has one large crest on his head like a cockatoo. its also colorblind! since its anatomy is based mainly off of owls, for moons ability to see at night means he can see less colors. and bc hes more sensitive at night his eyes r always half closed in light, making it look sleepy despite being fully awake. moon has raptor feet with 3 toes in the front and 1 in the back. xis claws r also much larger than suns. moon has passive soaring wings which is better for longer flights. and moon is a carnivore :)

theres also an eclipse but their design is an enigma to me even in my own mind

but back to sun and moon! if anyone is curious moon uses he/it/xe pronouns while sun uses he/it/ae pronouns. they r both aroace and love each other deeply (qpr babyyyyy). sun is genderfluid while moon doesnt give a shit (agender).

sun is more bubbly and energetic. very much high energy bouncing off the walls. hes the kind of optimist where u cant tell if their "bright side"s r trying to help or be condescending. its a master at back handed compliments. heavily a perfectionist and will reach the point of screaming fits if wut he doesnt isnt perfect. ae has a lot of self image issues. ae hides a lot of aers lack of self confidence and doubt behind a wall of "im the best", tho that wall can crash very easily. a bit of a flirt, but mainly bc he just enjoys seeing how ppl react. he takes compliments from everyone but moons compliments r always the best

moon is lower energy and calmer. at least, he acts like it. hes more reserved and if it wasnt for sun he wouldnt have any friends or talk to ppl at all. he fears abandonment and sun is the only person who has stayed with him this whole time and is the only person he truly trusts. is very aggressive towards anyone it doesnt know. despite being shorter than sun (hes 6ft while sun is 7ft) it definitely does a good job at intimidating ppl. over time when xe becomes comfortable with someone xe will eventually calm down and show a bit of a softer side to them. when xes actually calm and likes someone xe can be a bit... chaotic :)

im honestly not sure where ill start their story since ive already thought about their childhood but i also wanna write about their adulthood as well. the story of their childhood mainly deals with the abuse they went through, then with adulthood theyre shoved into an apocalypse bc... y not :) (btw the apocalypse is mainly just bc ive been enjoying apocalypse aus a Lot lately and wanna write one. the child abuse is for their development and to show y they act the way they do. while it will be fun to write their development, i am by no means saying abuse is okay and this topic will be treated carefully and seriously.)

oh theyre also nd as Fuck

but yeah. these r my babies! i hope to at some point start writing the fic so i can show it to u all, but im already in the process of writing another fic, which will be coming out soon!

[fictionfixations]

Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

[max-the-many]

Start here:

'body a day' #19: dad

Took me quite a minute to figure out his adress. Couldn't ask as I was his son. Luckily his phone got face recognition. So an hour later I was on my way out of the city to meet his, or may I say my dad.

He greeted me at the porch as I arrived at a nice little house in the outskirts.

"Almost thought you might skip it!" he chuckled, giving me a hearty half-hug grabbing my shoulders before heading towards a big heap of uncut wood that wouldn't be all of what had to be prepared for the winter. Much time to get to know him while getting to know my new body at the same time, working, sweating, seeing his older version doing just that.

Turned out, he lived alone, beeing one of those weel known, but independent wolfs after his wife left feom one day to the other.

The way he treated me, his son, though, really spoke for a big heart, making me even more horny than in the gym at the same time.

It was pretty late when we finally headed in, going for a nice clunk of golden juice infront of the fireplace.

"Don't you wanna get your stuff in" he wondered.

"My... ah, ehm..."

"You will stay for the weekend as planned, don't you"

"I... sure!" I collected myself "I... damn, totally forget to pack some"

He just laughed it off "Guess it is ur old stuff then. Gonna head for the shower, though. If you wont first"

I didn't. I was just too curious to look around while he was away. When he was, though, my thoughts had another focus. To know, that he was undressing now, getting out of those dorty, sweaty cloth, stepping under the hot shower just got the best of me.

Eventually I gave into it, went up the stairs and ended up infront of the bathroom. The sound of the water, the smell of soap and man oozing out of the slightly opened door... It didn't take long for me to open the door completely, taking in the sight of him behind frosted showerdoors.

"Jacob?"

"Sorry... dad. Cant find any matching clothes. Where did you put 'em" I improvised.

"Didn't move anything" he replied "let me just finish. I'll show you"

I left. That little sneak really got me going, longing for me. His clothes alone, laying on the counter, screaming to be sniffed, to be worn even.

Worn... my mind went for his closet. So I looked around until I found the bedroom. To open the dresser, seeing all that stuff that he wore at some time really was a sight of it own. I almost grabbed some underwear when I saw a basket of dirty ones, going for it at once, fishing out some tighty whities to dive in when I heared the water stopping.

So I rushed back downstairs, chucking the underwear right into my crotch.

"Free to go!" I heared the old one shortly after, so I did, still having a major twitch against that whity if his. At the showers though it wasnt only that. Seeing myself, looking back as his son gave me the rest, sniffing his well-worled pits, injoying his shape under the shower, thinking of his old man while pumping out a major one.

The evening went pretty relaxed, chatting, sitting infront of a nice fire with some nice rye. I couldn't keep myself from reaching down every once in a while, partly out of pure horny, partly out of curiosity on his reaction.

Other than that I broad up some rather particular topics like jerking of. I planely asked if he caught me, as his son, doing it, going further about his own experiences which he answered surprisingly open. My handling though didn't get less at those instances, but he kept chill about it. He never saw his son or crashed into such occations, but as we talked I figured, he would have been totally fine with it. Even as I constantly reached for my crotch now, which he couldn't really ignore, he didn't loose a single word about it.

And I left it like that, injoying my little game, hightened even since I wore the very underwear I took from his dirty bin underneath.

Eventually we went for bed. There I layed, strippee down to just that tighty white brief of the hunk of a dad, laying mere meters away, twitching right there, thinking of him, of me, that dad-son-couple I encountered st the gym, now beeing all in, dying go make a move.

And after slumbering away a little I got up. I just had to, beeing driven over in thar early night, step by step, taken just wearing tjose briefs, eventually Peeking through the bedroom door.

The dad seemed to be asleep as I saw his broad, naked shoulders under the blanked. Quietly I stepped in, slowly, with a pulsing heart, staring at him with tenting groins. I couldn't do otherwise nut getting even closer. He appeared to be deeply asleep.

"Dad?" I whispered. Nothing. So I stepped closer already recognizing the smell from the bathroom if not imagined. My hand reached out like moved by it's own.

Suddenly a twitch!

But i moved on, clearing my throat to further test his state.

When I touched the blanket I felt my heart with every breath, his presence, his warmth. Then I slowly pulled on it. No reaction. Pulling on, bit by bit, revealing his back, inch by inch until... a clean, white waistband got visible. No way. As I pulled further, it got confirmed. He too was only wearing one of those tight, white briefs spanning my hips, moving under heavy twitches from his sons pulsing tool.

I couldn't stop, reaching ever so slowly towards his hairy chest, barely touching it when he suddenly churned, along with deep, sleepy moans. My hand remained. And he remained sleeping, allowing me to fully cup those meety pect, even massaging them the slightest bits while shivers ran theoughout my whole body.

I was so captired by the whole situation that I even didn't realized my hand touching my crotch, massaging it through the aalready damp fabric. His pleasant sighs didn't affect me less. So I continued fondling him, fondling me, getting down over his stomach to his soft but well packed crotch, feeling it while unpacking mine, breathing heavily until I suddenly began to erupt, barely able to contain heavy moans and even heavier grips to his package.

I almost forgot what really was hüpeningat that moment until I snapped concious of it again, a surprised to see that musky man infront of me still asleep with a satisfied smile, my juice spread all over the floor up to his blanket.

To be continued...

[xaeydnquartz]

Part of me kinda wants to stop DMing my first and current campaign? IDK just need to vent

So, brief expo. like many, got into CR during the pandemic (mainly due to "The Legend of Vox Machina" which lead to me actually bingeing the all 3 campaigns) During which time a friend (who was in my immediate friend group but like the rest of my friend group, i didnt really feel close to) told me that he was really into CR as well. As a fresh new critter, i was stoked. Was able to share my blossoming love of CR with someone (FINALLY!) during which we both mentioned how D&D looked so much fun and that it would be really great to be able to play and ooo what if we got our friends together and played.

After which we discussed, if we did, who would be DM? Seeing as how none of our friends really played D&D our talk lead to either my friend or me and after asking the question "Which do you think you would prefer more?" It was clear i would try my hand at DMing (i like lore in games, and i like storytelling, and im a tad bit of a control freak at times, lol)

Anyway, we eventually got in touch with our close knit of friends, and though i intended to be a standard 6 we suddenly had an 8 party party (and that was with me having to tell even less close friends there wasnt room).

Feeling it would still be manageable (as there was precedent that i could pull inspo from, CR) i began planning a rough idea of a campaign and working with my friends to create their characters and running a session 0 so we were all on the same page. You know standard stuff.

-Fast Forward to current date and time-

It has its stressful moments, but i still am able to enjoy the time with my friends for the most part (though theres a lot of times were ive never felt lonelier) Which brings me to the whole point of the post, my need to vent to the void about this loneliness. Nobody really gets in touch or interacts with me at all. Not to talk about the campaign or even collab on their characters. The most i get are occasional critiques about how i could have done something better couple sessions prior and request to add another person to the 8 person party. When we have sessions, people show up late quite often, leave early quite often, have to cancel as they have other things they are doing (even though we planned and scheduled weeks prior) and even when people are there they somtimes feel like they arent always present. i already feel extremely distant from all of them as they all live closer to each other while i live on the totally opposite side of the state and theyve known each other way longer than i have, but the minimal interactions they have with me, the DM/GM of all people, just continues to add to all of it I know we all are busy with our lives, and that compared to those things D&D is really not that big of a deal or important. And i get that, it is just a game afterall, but it still manages to hit pretty hard

I've communicated my feelings through our time of this campaign, if im being honest, maybe not this indepth. I mean, its partially because i barely see or talk to them (again life gets in the way) but also because i feel extremely guilty for putting this kind of tension to something we are all supposed to be enjoying and relaxing to. Its especially painful as most recently 2 players, who said they would get in touch with me about changes possibly being being made to their characters, never got in touch in anyway shape or form, and its been about a month now? And session is in a week...i didnt even get much as a reply back. Idk, its been almost about a year now and i felt i just needed to get this out somewhere other than debating myself.

Thanks for listening tumblr.

[littledollll]

Quiet time

Larissa weems x none to semi-verbal reader

Warnings: none rly?

Coming back from what you would call a heavy day, most people don’t get it, “Wasnt it fun?”, “I thought you had a good time” some even straight up saying “I don’t get how your brain works” that’s fine. You did have fun, it was a good time, great actually but it’s overwhelming and tiering, surrounded by people and sound everywhere. You just needed to decompress.

You threw your stuff on the nearest surface, that’s for future you to worry about finding, making your way into bed and crashing face-first with a heavy sigh. You didn’t bother picking up your phone you’d just stare at it without actually using it, headphones on but no music playing, they just tuned out background noise that’s all you needed.

You just laid there hugging your pillow, dissociated and humming, to no song nor particular rhythm, you were too busy self soothing when Larissa came in. She actually got it, she’d occasionally enjoy quiet time for at least a few minutes after coming home from a long day. It didn’t always mean that you wanted complete silence, most of the time it was just a few minutes before you were ready to listen just not necessarily talk, and that was alright with her.

Larissa knew you well enough to know that it was quiet time the moment she saw you, and actually it was for her too. She wordlessly moved across the room just getting ready for bed, your unfocused eyes eventually drifted to her and you just watched, there was something oddly soothing about her nighttime routine.

The way she’d sit, how she carefully undid her hair, wipe away her makeup, undress and wrap a robe around herself readying for a bath or shower. Still there were no words said between the two of you, just comfortable silence, and she disappeared off to the showers.

Sometimes words just felt like a chore to get out, sometimes you needed a second to breathe, sleep it off, maybe a whole day, and that was fine with her, after you explained you never got hit with a “are you mad?” or a an angry “so did you have fun at all?”, which made you beyond happy.

Once she was out of the shower you knew her quiet time was officially over٫ she enjoys doing her selfcare in peace٫ who could blame her, which means you now get to happily and silently hear about her day.

“You know about two seconds after you left this morning I got a call that the one and only miss Wednesday Addams was already starting her mission on making my day impossible” You took your headphones off and turned to look at her as she began٫ showing she had your full attention.

She continued on, telling you everything from how she handled Wednesday to what she had for lunch, the coffee she bought that didn’t really taste like coffee which she was very offended at, that made you giggle, she sounded so genuinely insulted about this. “Oh by the way darling I put your keys in the key holder because i knew you were gonna go insane looking for them in the morning, stop just blindly throwing them!”

“mm my bad..” you mumbled out, by now you were both laying in bed, you kinda on top of Larissa, snuggled into her stomach with your arms around her waist. “It’s quite alright, I just don’t want you to stress about finding them later on.” You responded with a hum, playing with the hem of her sleep shirt.

“So when do I get to hear about your day out?” She asked, not really needing an answer just giving you the option of when to talk. You pretended to think about it for a long time with a drawn-out hum. “t’morrow- morning maybe?” She nodded, playing with your hair before she spoke again.

“Darling if you at any point want the blanket to be on top of us you need to move up.” You frown, picking up the blanket and throwing it fully on top of you both successfully reaching her top and hiding you completely. “Are you seriously planning to stay there the whole night?” You nodded. “And if I move?” She turned to her side and you moved along with her, dedicated to your position. “‘m fine here, comfy.”

Larissa sighed, you already decided you’re staying there, there’s nothing that’s going to change your mind, honestly she didn’t mind it, you’re just too far for her to cuddle, correctly anyways. “Goodnight, my darling” you delivered a soft kiss to her stomach. “Night, love.”

[crushedsweets]

Who are the people that Toby likes the most?

Natalie, Jack, and Ben!

Toby has known Natalie for about 5 years, and Jack for 4, and Ben for 3. ok now im gonna do long ass headcanons for their relationships bc im just soooooooo silly . .

toby and natalie knew eachother when they were at the height of like.. using murder as a relief/power trip. it was a really sick and fucked up thing to bond over, and it wasnt something either of them took lightly or as a joke. but it was something they did talk about, moreso 'let me tell you about my night' and they'd kinda just allude to the murder part of it. eventually, natalie stopped killing as much (and stuck strictly to freak weirdo men at bars/clubs who try taking advantage of ppl). toby doesn't have the luxury to stop bc he only did it when the situation/order calls for it.

they usually just lounge around together. watch trash reality tv, natalie was ashamed of her art for a while but toby loves getting her to show him her stuff. toby taught her how to axe throw and cut down trees. he helped fix up the barn she stays in so it's actually livable. he even got brian to help with shit like insulation cuz theres no heat/ac in it. sometimes he does her hair if shes having an awful night. she never had someone to brush her hair growing up, having no mother/sister/girl friends, and finds it to be insanely fucking relaxing. lulls her to sleep so quick. it reminds toby of lyra and he cried one time after she fell asleep from it. she never found out about it.

toby was the first proxy to be nice to jack. not that tim and brian were horrible to jack (only after he was . . 'tamed' i guess). but toby was the first one to like, bring him things, talk to him, actually attempt bonding. if tobys feeling lonely and natalies not in the mood to entertain, jack was almost always welcoming. ok maybe not welcoming in the like :) hiiii toby. way. but in the. 'ok yea whatever come in i guess' way.

jack used to cook a lot before he was sacrificed. now he doesnt have the same taste buds, and while he can eat human food, its all pretty bland to him. best he can enjoy is insanely spicy stuff, and thats more sensation rather than flavor. BUT TOBY. that fucking dude can EAT. he's brought like a fat steak and veggies and rice and random shit to jacks and asked him to make him dinner. and oddly enough jack was willing to do it. toby continued to do that stuff. jack didnt know about tobys CIPA for a while and was baffled when this white boy from rural colorado could actually handle the spice anytime jack made south asian food LOL.. ("how much spice do you want" "i dont care make it as spicy as you like" "toby are you sure of this" "yeah i can take it").

of the 3, toby is the least close to ben. mostly bc ben is best fucking friends w jeff and toby doesnt like jeff very much(who does?). plus toby figured ben was like a kid and wasnt exactly crazy about being besties with a 12 yr old. But then ben played some video games with him. ben doesnt really Act like an. ipad fortnite tiktok middle shcool type of kid so toby was like Oh he's cool i guess.!

they dont have much in common at all tbh, didnt have similar childhoods and toby didnt play many video games growing up. BUT toby finds so much joy in just having a fucking boyish childish fun stupid relationship where he could play video games and talk shit and eat like crap with yk. they have a very brotherly friendship and it's kinda weird for toby being on the big sibling side of something, but he's fond of it. they get into petty arguments about stupid shit, and went a while without talking bc toby punched jeff and jeff was bitching like 'uumm dont hang out with that prick' and ben was like lmfao ok. toby didnt even realize ben wasnt talking to him tho. . ("hey sorry i was avoiding u jeff was bitching" "u were avoiding me ?????")

[the-s1lly-corner]

angst m, n, o for pomni and/or gangle pleasee:3

Angst alphabet w/ Pomni (M,N,O)

YEEEEEAAAH ANGST ALPHABET!! i need to do better with promoting my alphabet stuff maybe ill reblog the posts for them every week or so idk.... for those who see this post you can find my alphabet posts linked at the bottom of the grand masterlist post in my pinned! prompts: misery, nightmare, opened notes: reader is GN CWs: grief, mentions of self termination thoughts via letting one abstract on purpose though its not dwelled on for long

MISERY

you had abstracted, and thats as good as being dead in the circus

one day you were here and the next you were a monster... can you blame her for being at least a little in shock after youre sent away by caine?

if she ever manages to pull herself back together, its clear that shes going to be changed forever by your absence- and its going to take a while for her to pretend to be fine

if she doesnt, and if she lets herself spiral, shes just going to abstract too

she wouldnt be lying if she said that idea seemed desirable, though

she would if she wasnt so scared, though

sometimes she stops by your door to talk to you, even though she knows shes never going to get an answer in return

shes angry with the situation, this isnt fair- you and her didnt know what you were getting into when you put your headsets on

the idea that you have family out in the real world who will never see you again, and will never know what happened to you only fuels her rage

at least it gives her motivation to get out, even if the chances of her finding your family is low

NIGHTMARE

she somtimes gets nightmares every now and then, much like the one she has in episode 2

they dont happen every night, but when she does have them she doesnt seek you out... youre sleeping, and she doesnt want to bother you

unless the two of you are sleeping in the same bed, shes going to leave you alone

and even then, being in the same bed doesnt mean all that much

you can ask her to talk about her dream, but shes going to gently reassure you that shes fine and theres nothing to worry about

with enough time to let her dreams wear her down, though, shes eventually going to spill to you

she doesnt exactly want comfort, she knows its not going to help all that much

so, offering a distraction may be best... you two typically end up staying in bed and just making small talk

OPENED

she doesnt do it maliciously, she doesnt even do it to try to win the argument... it just comes out, before she can stop the words from coming out but just because she didnt really mean to, it doesnt make the fact she hurt you any less apparent

she doesnt double down, instead she tries to backtrack- whatever the two of you were arguing about doesnt even mean anything to her anymore, she wants to undo what was done right now

she gives you time to collect yourself when it becomes clear that you need time, she gives one last "sorry" before giving you space

shes beside herself and shes disgusted with herself for using your insecurities and secrets against you in the argument, the moment you show some sign of being ready to talk shes going to let you know how horrible she feels for hurting you

she makes it clear that she didnt mean to hurt you, and shes going to do anything to prove that shes being honest

its going to take some time for the tenseness and awkwardness to fade away, but pomni is dedicated to making things work... though, thats not her call here is it?

[cowgurrrl]

OKAY WAIT

late night talks with college!joel - how reader and him came to date. they were studying they got distracted talking about something and stayed up all night taking. now joel can get her off his mind. 😉

thank you harry styles <3

I’ll kiss you on the mouth dude I love this idea

UPDATE: I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END IT AND IF IT WASNT FOR MY MELATONIN KICKING IN I WOULDVE CONTINUED IT

She’s got a book for every situation

Pairing: college!joel x fem!reader

Summary: this ask

Author’s note: typed in tumblr and not proofread so god speed slayers 🫡

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, Joel being The Biggest Flirt, June your BA in English is showing, I think that’s it??

Working at the writing center on campus has its perks. You get unlimited printing, editing experience, and free coffee. Granted, it’s from a pot that had been simmering for several days but it’s free nevertheless. You’ve even managed to get in good with a few professors who would recommend their students come to you if they need help. Normally, they don’t take the advice until finals week and they all scramble into your office all at once. So, when a tall guy with curly dark hair walks into your desolate lobby, you’re a little surprised. He looks lost with a stack of papers piled in his hands and visibly relaxes when he sees you peek your head out.

“Hey there. Can I help you?” You ask, approaching him.

“Maybe. ‘M from Dr. Phillips class and she said to come to the writing center and ask for…” He trails off as he glances down at his paper before saying your name. “Said she might be able to help me with my paper.”

“Yeah, I think she can help you with your paper.” You say and hold out your hand to grab the red inked paper. It’s a paper on Kerouac who’s never been your favorite. In fact, you wrote an entire paper about how pretentious and privileged Jack Kerouac actually was but that’s neither here nor there. The bottom line is that you know how to write a paper professors are looking for. You feel his eyes scanning your face as you read his thesis and try to ignore the blush creeping over your cheeks.

“I take it you’re the brilliant writer Dr. Phillips likes so much.” He says. You smile but don’t take your eyes off his words so you don’t get distracted by his presence.

“Dr. Phillips doesn’t like anyone.”

“She seemed to like you. Told me all about how smart you are,” he says. “Never mentioned the pretty part, though.” Finally, you look up and meet his gaze.

“Technically Dr. Phillips isn’t allowed to recommend one student editor over another. It’s against our policy and makes things a little fairer for everyone. So, can we keep this little secret between us…” you let your sentence end, realizing you never asked his name, and he holds out his free hand.

“Joel.” He says and you shake his hand.

“Well, Joel, I’ll tell you what. I’ll agree to help you get your paper in order if you agree to not get me fired. Fair deal?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He says politely.

You spend the rest of the day walking Joel through essay structures, grammar mistakes, and thesis issues. His argument is strong but it needs to be more concise and punchier. When you try to explain it to him in those terms, he looks at you like you’re from Mars. Eventually, after a little too much flirty small talk, he tells you about his dad’s construction company and you learn to put flowery, over dramatic writing advice into clean, neat boxes that he understands completely. Unfortunately, you don’t end up finishing the actual essay before the center closes.

“You’re free to come back tomorrow morning so we can finish this.” You say as you gather your things and stuff them in your backpack. Joel stretches in his chair, his shirt riding up just enough to reveal a gorgeous sliver of tan skin and you have to force your eyes away from the sight.

“D’you live far from here?” He asks, standing and throwing his own backpack over one shoulder. You waffle for a moment, unsure if you want to tell this almost perfect stranger where you live.

“Maybe a ten minute walk. It’s not bad for Austin.”

“Can I walk you home? Since I kept you so late,” he asks. Once again, you hesitate. Joel doesn’t seem like the typical frat guy you’ve come to fear since your time at school. He actually seems gentle and genuine. You turn the thought over a few more times before he throws his hands up. “‘S just an offer to make sure you get home safe. I’ll even carry your backpack for you if you want.” He offers and you smile. You take another second before handing him your heavy backpack. He slings it over his free shoulder and walks to the door to open it for you, keys jingling in your hand as you lock up the writing center for the night. The humid Texas night suffocates you the second you step out into the fading daylight.

“You always carry girls’ backpacks home?” You ask as you start walking in the direction of your apartment. Campus is mostly empty this time of night, everyone crawling home after class to pregame or cry or both. Squirrels patrol the sidewalks for any students who may want to hand them a piece from their bagel or sandwich. Someone honks their horn in distant standstill Austin traffic, and the sun slowly slides behind the Capitol. It’s peaceful.

“Only when I make ‘em read my shitty writing.” He says and you laugh.

“Your writing’s not bad, Joel. It’s actually very good. Essays are just the worst to write.”

“You like ‘em enough to work at the writing center.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’s what I actually care about,” you shrug. “At this point, I’m a warm body with a clicky pen.”

“Woah there, Kafka. I think you’re a little more than that,” Joel laughs and you have to laugh too. Not only for the perfectly on brand joke but for the tone in his voice. The playful lilt makes your head feel fuzzy. “Alright then, if you don’t like essays and you don’t like Kerouac, what do you like? What do you wanna write?” He asks and you take a deep breath. It’s a question you’ve fielded more than enough times in your college career to know that not many people like your answer.

“I’m not sure yet. I like a little bit of everything.”

“Have you written anythin’ I would’ve read?”

“No,” you laugh. “Probably not.”

“Why’s that funny?” He asks and you shake your head.

“Because nobody wants to publish my work. It’s too… rough.”

“Rough?” He raises his eyebrows at you.

“Yeah. Publishers either want the next Great American Novel or nothing at all, and I am not next Great American Novel material.”

“How do you know?”

“Because nobody’s publishing me.”

“Maybe, you’re not lookin’ in the right places,” he says. “‘M just sayin’ someone as smart as you has to have somethin’ someone will wanna take.”

“Yeah, well, don’t go holdin’ your breath on me, cowboy.”

“Why do you do that?” He asks suddenly and you stop to look at him.

“Do what?” You ask.

“Try and play it off whenever someone compliments you.” He says with glaring honesty. It sets you back in your heels but you quickly recover.

“You’ve only known me for a few hours. How do you know I’m not just incredibly humble?”

“I guess I don’t,” he says. “Could I buy you a drink and figure it out?” It could be the way he, somehow, sees right through you already or the way his brown eyes look in the sunlight but you can’t stop the butterflies in your stomach. You purse your lips together and dare a step closer to him.

“Tell you what, if you get an A on this paper, I’ll let you buy me a drink.” You say.

“And if I fail?” He asks and you shake your head.

“You won’t fail.”

“But what if I do?”

“If you do, you have to…” you search your brain. “Carry my backpack home for me for a week.”

“You drive a hard bargain, ma’am.”

“But I take it Joel Miller’s a bettin’ man.”

“See, smarter than you think.” He quips and you roll your eyes.

“One thing at a time, lover boy.”

Joel ends up getting the highest grade on his essay out of anyone in his class. Dr. Phillips commends his dedication to bettering his first draft and tells him to keep up the good work. “Whatever you did to change this, keep it up.” She says when she places his graded essay on his desk. When he presents the A to you at the writing center, all you can do is applaud him and smile.

“I told you you’d pass.” You say, poking at his firm chest.

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolls his eyes. “Maybe I just needed a little motivation.”

“Oh, yeah? What was that?”

“I think I was promised a date.” He says cheekily and you nod.

“You were, and my mama raised me to be a woman of my word,” you smile. “Jenny, do you mind closing up for me tonight?” You ask the receptionist and she shakes her head.

“Not at all, darlin’. Have a good night.” She winks at you when Joel turns his back and you stick your tongue out at her.

Say what you will about the writing center but you think a date with a broad, tall, handsome cowboy is the best thing that could’ve come out of that hell hole.