#and even then he's VERY conflicted about it

[mulloey]

distracted

bad students must face the consequences of their behaviour. it doesn’t matter who your boyfriend is.

words: 2.9k

part of my february festival event

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warnings: dom!professors matz x sub!student reader, teacher-student relationship (hongjoong x you), power dynamics, threesome, punishment, spanking with ruler, very light anal play, face fucking, double penetration (mouth & pussy), under-negotiated kink, unprotected sex, sir kink, degradation, light dumbification etc

i am not responsible for the content you consume.

“What is this?”

He waves the sheet in front of your face indignantly and you recognise it instantly as the test you’d taken last week; the red D scrawled in the top corner gives you away and you huff. “How did you even—”

“Seonghwa,” he says, cutting you off. You’d roll your eyes if you thought you’d get away with it right now.

You knew it was a bad idea, really, dating Hongjoong; he may not have been your professor, but he is a professor, so you should’ve figured he’d be in cahoots with your teachers. It’s not like discretion was a massive concern, anyway; your relationship is an open secret among the staff. It’s technically not allowed, but you’re a grad student, an independent adult and your parents donate enough money to the school that neither of you would be in too much trouble if anyone did find out anyway. So you suppose you shouldn’t be surprised that, when you turned in a piss-poor exam, Seonghwa had run off tattling to your boyfriend. Dickhead.

“I was just having a bad day,” you say. “I studied, really. I don't know what happened.”

Neither of you believe that, but you push your lips into a pout and do your best to look contrite—to play the sweet, innocent girl your boyfriend loves to ruin.

“Joong…” You try to sound scared but you both know you’re not; there’s nothing he could do to you that you wouldn’t enjoy, after all. You’re just as sick as each other.

Hongjoong chuckles, clicking his tongue. He looks thoughtful for a moment, like he’s pretending to be conflicted over whether to punish you or not, but he’s not very good at hiding his excitement. The regretful sigh he lets out when he makes his decision is laughably disingenuous. “Bad girl,” he says, shaking his head. “You know I can’t let you get away with this, sweetheart.”

You open your mouth to respond but he doesn’t give you time; he shoves you down harshly, bending you over his desk so your ass is sticking up in the air. It’s a familiar position that you’ve found yourself in time and time again since you met him and you body prepares itself automatically; expecting him to spank you, you stick your ass up higher and wait with bated breath for the first blow. It doesn’t come. You crane your head around, confused. “Joong, what—” Oh.

You don’t need to finish the question; standing behind you, next to Hongjoong, is the very man who’d got you in this predicament in the first place— your medieval history professor, Park Seonghwa himself. He tilts his head, smiling sweetly. “Good afternoon.”

Your jaw drops. You hadn’t expected this—when did he even come in, anyway? “Joong—”

“You think we didn’t notice how you look at him?” Your boyfriend asks coolly. It’s only because of the cock in his hand, hard and already leaking, that you’re not worried he’s mad at you; no, he loves this. You should’ve known.

“Is that why you failed?” Seonghwa asks. “Too busy dreaming about me bending you over your desk? You have a boyfriend; an esteemed colleague of mine, in fact.” His tone is chiding and you feel yourself flush.

Hongjoong snorts almost petulantly. “As if she cares about that.”

“No?” Seonghwa asks. “What does she care about, then?”

“Pull her panties down and find out.”

Your cunt throbs painfully at the surety of the demand and the dark look in Seonghwa’s eyes as he obliges without hesitation. He doesn’t ask permission before he touches you—he already has it from the one who matters, after all—but when he pushes your skirt up your back, his hands still momentarily; you smile into the wood as you realise what they’re both looking at—the white, lacy panties sitting snugly across your pert cheeks.

“Well, isn’t that a sight.” Seonghwa’s voice is hoarse and affected as he rubs a hand across the delicate material. You feel yourself tense under his touch, the unfamiliar feeling of his skin on yours, and he gently pinches the soft flesh. “Relax,” he mumbles. “Be good, yeah? I won’t hurt you, I’ll be gentle.”

A sweet sounding lie; you can tell from the heaviness of his hand as it comes to rest on your ass that he has no such intentions. He fingers softly at the lace of your panties, sighing ruefully. “These really are beautiful,” he muses. “I hate to have to take them down like this, but bad students have to learn, don’t they?”

“They certainly do.” You crane your neck to follow your boyfriend’s voice and find him leaning against the wall behind Seonghwa, staring you down with familiarly cold eyes. He cocks an eyebrow when you finally catch his gaze. “Got something to say, precious?”

“No, sir,” you whisper.

“Turn around, then,” he smiles. “I’m just here to watch.”

You turn back, though more so he doesn’t see you roll your eyes than out of a desire to obey him. Seonghwa has carefully shimmied your panties down to the middle of your thighs and the cold air of the office bites at your sensitive pussy.

“Spread your legs,” he says. “Show me how wet you are.“

Blushing furiously, you part your legs, spreading them as far as you can without snapping the panties bunched around your thighs. Seonghwa hums, running a long finger through your wet folds. The touch is unexpected but Hongjoong’s trained you well enough that you manage to stay still despite your surprise. You whine a little when he pulls away and you hear both men chuckle.

“Professor Kim,” Seonghwa says. His voice has a new quality; delicate and flirtatious as he addresses your boyfriend. “Come and taste how wet she is.”

You hear Hongjoong approach the elder and try to move around to see it, but Seonghwa’s firm hand on your neck holds you still. “I don’t think so, bad girl,” he tuts. “Only good little girls get to watch. Keep still.”

“Good call,” Hongjoong purrs. “She’s always loved seeing me with other people. Little pervert would probably start humping the table if she saw me doing this.”

You hear the wet, lewd sounds of Hongjoong sucking at Seonghwa’s finger, lapping up your juices with a noise of pleasure. “Delicious little slut,” he chuckles. “Let’s get her properly disciplined so we can play with her how she wants.”

Somehow you hear the wide grin in Seonghwa’s voice as Hongjoong backs away. “I quite agree.”

His hands rests on your ass again, squeezing it softly. “This is what’s gonna happen, little one. You got a 48 on my exam, didn’t you?”

You’re almost embarrassed to hear the number and you know Hongjoong is too. “Yes,” you whisper.

“Yes, Professor will do,” he says. “You’re not my friend, sweetheart. You’re just a wayward student being put back on the right path.”

Shame courses through you but it would be a lie to say it’s anything but thrilling. “Yes, professor,” you whisper.

He taps your ass appreciatively. “Good girl. So, you got a 48 on my exam. What was the pass mark?”

“60, Professor,” you mumble.

“Now that’s not very hard to achieve, is it Professor Kim?”

“It’s not. The pass marks in my class are higher, in fact.”

You want to roll your eyes at their smug, jovial tones but you’re too aroused now to do anything but anticipate.

“A pathetic score, really.” Seonghwa’s voice is closer than ever and you feel his presence just inches away. “Especially for such a bright young woman. I think you need to learn to separate your head—” he gathers a piece of your hair, gently folding it behind your ear “—and your pussy, hm?”

“Yes, Professor.”

“Good.“ Something long and thin taps at your bare skin and you recognise it instantly—the wooden ruler Hongjoong keeps in his desk drawer for when he’s feeling particularly on-the-nose about the taboo nature of your relationship.

“I’m going to hit you with this twelve times,” Seonghwa purrs. “For each of the marks you easily could have gotten if you hadn’t been too busy imagining my cock in your mouth. Yeah?”

You nod, feeling yourself pulse. “Yes, Professor.”

“Repeat after me, alright?” The first hit is quick and sharp, spread over your ass and it makes you gasp. Seonghwa chuckles and rubs the reddening flesh before he grabs your hair, yanking your head back to whisper in your ear. “One,” he says. “I’m sorry for being such a slut, Professor.”

You repeat it quietly and he tuts. “Louder than that, love. I’m sure your boyfriend wants to know you’re learning your lesson.”

You oblige, repeating it louder and he makes a noise of satisfaction before the ruler comes down again, this time at the tops of your thighs. “Two,” he says. “I’m sorry for thinking with my pussy instead of my head.”

“Two, I’m… I’m sorry for thinking with my pussy instead of my head.”

The next hit lands in the same spot. “Three. I’m sorry for dripping over Professor Kim’s desk just from being spanked.”

You blush in embarrassment; you’d half hoped he wouldn’t notice, but that was a tall order anyway. When it comes to Hongjoong and anything to do with him, you’ve never been subtle.

The next hits follow the same pattern, spread across your ass and thighs with each one making you gasp louder than the last.

“Four. I’m sorry for making Professor Park waste his time disciplining me.”

“Five. I’m sorry for daydreaming about choking on another man’s cock.”

“Six. I’m sorry for being arrogant enough to think I’d get away with such an embarrassing performance.”

The last one hits you right on your dripping pussy, making you scream and he grabs your hair, spinning you around to face him and your boyfriend; your eyes hone in on Hongjoong’s cock, pulsing in his hands before Seonghwa forces your attention back to him. “Twelve,” he growls. “I’m sorry for being such a cockwhore that I’m making Professor Park break his rule about sleeping with students.”

You can’t help but grin as you repeat his words, feeling proud. Of course, you knew from the moment you turned around and saw him standing there what was going to happen, but it’s nice to hear it from him. He smiles, grasping your neck gently. “Did you like that?” He asks. “Getting spanked by your professor while your boyfriend jerks off to it?”

“Yeah,” you breathe. “I liked it.”

“Well, now that you’ve learnt your lesson,” he says, “I think it’s time you got fucked, no?”

You nod and turn to your boyfriend; he tilts his head, nodding towards his hard cock. “You know what to do,” he says.

“Yes, sir.” You sink to your knees, staring up at Seonghwa and sending him a teasing smile before crawling towards Hongjoong. You open your mouth, letting him push his dick inside; after all this time together, he doesn’t need to ease you into it anymore and can go straight to fucking your mouth and you take it diligently, opening your throat the way he’s trained you to. You hear Seonghwa whistle, admiring.

“She sucks cock like a fucking pro,” he laughs; the arousal in his voice is thick and unmistakable. “You’ve trained her well, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong laughs too, patting your head. “I had an excellent student,” he grins. You smile around him at the praise and he curses. “You’re too good at this, babe, Jesus. Gonna cum before I even fuck you.”

He thrusts into your mouth a few more times before pulling out abruptly, shoving you off of him and in an instant Seonghwa’s hands are in your hair as he pulls you to your feet and shoves you back over the desk. You collide painfully with the wood but you barely notice; you’re used to being manhandled by now, and it only makes you more excited.

Large hands you recognise as Seonghwa’s grab your ass cheeks, pulling them apart slowly; the air hits your exposed holes and makes you jump in surprise but you quickly regain your composure. As you still yourself again you feel Hongjoong’s finger running gently across your asshole, almost like he’s inspecting it, before it slides down to toy with your pussy.

“Hm…” Seonghwa’s voice is teasing. “What’s your favourite hole of hers, Professor Kim?”

“What a question,” Hongjoong chuckles and you hear the smile in his voice. His finger prods gently at your rim, making you tense unconsciously and he tuts, lightly slapping the tight little hole. It’s a subtle, painless chastisement but it makes you whine all the same. “Now, now, kitty cat,” he chuckles. “I didn’t train you to squirm, did I?”

“No, sir,” you mumble.

“Good,” he says. “To answer your question, Hwa, I’d have to say her pussy. I love her ass, of course, but nothing compares to the way that little cunt clings to my dick like it’s just begging for a baby.”

“Well that does sound nice.” Seonghwa’s hands leave your ass, returning to your pussy to spread you open. “It looks snug,” he says. “What do you think, little one? Want your professor to breed you?”

It takes you a moment for your brain to catch up with the rest of you and you frown in confusion. “I- you mean you, Professor Park?” You ask. It comes out as more of a strangled cry; your head is a mess of arousal and you barely even register what he’s saying to you, let alone comprehend it fully.

He laughs, patting your soft skin gently. “Yes, perhaps I should be more clear. It must be confusing to be bending over in front of two of your teachers.”

Your face burns at the obvious mockery; the degrading, sneering tone of his voice but you say nothing. Seonghwa hums. “So?” He asks sweetly. “You want me in your cunt, baby girl?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “Please, Professor.”

“There’s those manners,” he praises.

He keeps a firm grip on your hips as he slides in from behind; the feeling of his skin against your still burning ass is uncomfortable, but the way his cock is stretching you as he buries himself inside you is the only thing your brain can process right now.

He’s just as big as Hongjoong, maybe a little bigger, but his thrusts are more fluid and controlled; where Hongjoong fucks you like an animal hungry for more, Seonghwa fucks you with precision; with intention. His hands on your hips are firm yet gentle and the way he finds you in your deepest places has your head spinning with euphoria. “Jesus,” he curses. “Pretty little thing, aren’t you?”

You open your mouth to respond, barely getting a whine out before you feel hands in your hair, yanking at it to pull you forward. Hongjoong comes into view on the other side of the desk, his dick somehow still hard as he feeds it into your mouth. “There you go,” he coos. “Keep it hard, baby.”

You nod as best as you can and the friction against his dick makes your boyfriend groan. “Fuck,” he mutters. “You’re so fucking good with cock you could make me cum on accident.”

The feeling of two dicks inside you makes it hard to focus on either one; let alone to begin to process the filthy words they spit down at you. Intesd you close your eyes, letting the tears fall as Hongjoong starts to fuck your throat again; you’re limp against the desk now, held up solely by the wood and by the two men using you to satisfy themselves. “Oh shit,” Hongjoong says, seeing your dazed expression. “Baby’s gone dumb already.” He strokes your hair gently, a small comfort between punishing thrusts. “You okay, little dove?”

You groan in response, unable to do much else; it makes them laugh and Seonghwa pats your ass affectionately. “You’re doing so well,” he says. “I’m almost there, sweetheart. Gonna fill you up real nice, yeah?”

“Y-yeah,” you gasp.

The feeling of Seonghwa’s thrusts growing faster and harder and more desperate is overwhelming; coupled with the sensation of Hongjoong’s cock hitting the back of your throat again and again, it’s almost unbearable. Your fingers claw against the wood, surely leaving marks but you don’t care; you feel unlike you ever have before, stuffed full and used by two of the most attractive men you’ve ever even imagined.

You’re in so deep that you don’t even realise it’s over until the emptiness of your mouth and cunt becomes obvious; you feel cum leaking from your hole, a wet substance dripping down the desk and only when you look closer do you figure out what it is—squirt. You squirted. You squirted all over your boyfriend’s desk with another man’s cock in your pussy and you’ve never been more fucked out and satisfied than you are now.

When you stand up fully your legs, numbed and weakened by their abuse, start to give out but Hongjoong is there in an instant; he catches you in his arms, lowering himself to the ground so he can cradle you in his lap. You’re faintly aware of Seonghwa’s voice and strong hands stroking your hair before he’s gone, and it’s just you and Hongjoong.

“Good girl,” he mutters. “You took that so well.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” he smiles. “I only hope your performance in Professor Park’s class improves soon. Otherwise he’ll have to tutor you if you want to keep your spot in his class.”

Your heart jumps. “What?”

“Uni rules,” he shrugs, appearing nonchalant but the knowing smile on his face tells all. “If you fail two exams in a row, that’s what happens.”

You don’t know why he seems so surprised when you turn up in his office a month later with a D-minus and an already leaking pussy. He always knew you were insatiable.

Lucky for you, so are they.

—

comments/reblogs appreciated! i’m not sure im super happy with the ending but we move. let me know your thoughts! love🖤🖤🖤

ateez taglist: @pixie0627 @hon3ysun @bbdeongi @hwaromi @tangerineastronaut @fancypeacepersona @aloevendetta (unable to tag: @lemonkait00 @mylovelymito)

february festival taglist: @hohongsan @nopension

[llamagoddessofficial]

Ok ok ok. Bear with me. aka-indulgence indulged (lol) my whims too much and kept giving me good ideas. Now my mind is whirring.

Bad guys Mafia AU, where Nightmare is the big boss, as per usual. However... secretly, Nightmare has been going undercover in the police force, using his shapeshifting powers to pose as a softspoken by-the-book skeleton monster who likes paperwork and does what he's told. He's VERY deep undercover, quietly working his way up the internal ranks, giving himself access to more and more important information like evidence and arrest records. 'Eos' (thank you @owl-bones for being great with names) is boring, hard working, devoted to his 9-5 desk job. Eos hates conflict and action and doesn't even know how to turn off the safety on a gun. Eos is so non-confrontational people barely remember his name or that he's there. Eos goes totally under the radar.

... Then, while undercover... he meets you. A plucky assistant, with big dreams of being a detective. He's suddenly unexpectedly smitten. Despite the 'boring' persona he's put on, he finds his affections clearly returned. You and Eos start up an extremely cute will-they-won't-they, an adorable office romance where the two of you gradually open up to each other. He finds out about your passion for bringing the rich and powerful to justice. You find out about his love of classical music.

Of course, in the meantime, you're trying to investigate this big scary 'Nightmare' guy. Perhaps you even sneak your way into one of his functions, much to Eos' dismay, determined to dig up dirt and bring down the unjust elite. Perhaps you end up having a one-on-one conversation with Nightmare... where you discover that (to your horror) Nightmare is clearly attracted to you. Even worse - you're attracted to him. The two of you have incredible chemistry like nothing you've ever felt. Nightmare is dangerous, seductive, evil, but you absolutely can't get enough of him. He's everything you tell yourself you're not allowed to want.

For you, it's a dramatic life-or-death love triangle. You're trapped between two sides of yourself; there's the safe and loving but 'boring' Eos, who represents a steady but unglamorous future. And then there's Nightmare, wealth and power, the monster that brings out the side of you no one else can. Eos loves you, but Nightmare knows you.

Nightmare? He's having the time of his life. He's found someone who loves him in all his forms, old and new. He gets the best of both worlds. Now, to find a way to bring you into the fold...

[callipraxia]

I’ll admit it - thinking of ‘but what will people think of me?’ has stopped me short of writing things before, in everything from writing actual content to writing part of a review on a friend’s story. “What will [Friend] think, seeing that I know that? Even if I explain the actually relatively innocuous reason why I know it, would they even believe me? This is an issue of how something is portrayed in media that I feel pretty strongly about, but in context, it might be better to just…drop it.”

I…tried actually including a detailed example of my next point here, drawing from Anon’s Robert Jordan remark, but it ended up breaking the thousand-word limit before I even got past the introductory explanations, so I guess I’ll write a separate essay about why I don’t really agree with the “dudebro is secretly obsessed with lesbians and BDSM” line of thinking, maybe link it back here later if I remember. In the meantime, the point was - if I start thinking “dang, I think Author X has an Issue with Y,” it’s usually a lot less because of what the author leaves in than what the author leaves out. As an author, one deliberately chooses to explore certain topics, including dark ones that reflect the issues that preoccupy us (isn’t Anne Rice’s work supposed to be kinda messed up? I mean, I’ve never read a word she wrote that I can recall, but aren’t they all, y’know, horror novels?). As distasteful as we might find it, incest and pedophilia and sexual assault and suicide and all those other words you can’t use on YouTube are real things that happen every day. There’s a plethora of reasons why any given author might want to explore such issues in writing, and at least half of ‘em have nothing to do with sex. I’ve never heard anyone imply that Dostoyevsky must have been really, really turned on by the thought of attacking pawnbrokers with axes, much less that he ever committed a murder in real life just for the heck of it. From what I’ve read - though to be fair, my reading on the subject is not extensive - Nabokov probably wasn’t really a pedophile, and Mario Puzo probably had nothing to do with real-life organized crime. I have heard a few people suggest Stephen King must be a perverted serial killer in real life to write what he writes, but those people were idiots. And so forth. Point is, an author examining evil through a certain point of view really should not lead to the assumption that the author has done or wants to do any of those bad things. That’s why we say that authors use their imaginations when they’re working.

Plus, well…nine times out of ten, nobody’s going to make you read a book. If you really can’t read a book without getting uncomfortable because you can’t stop thinking that X or Y means that the author might have wanted his wife to put him on a leash and spank him, you can almost always just…put down the book and go read something else. You can also do this if you’re uncomfortable with Anne Rice apparently having conflicting feelings about God - that isn’t a potential theme that bothers me, but I know people who would be upset for days about reading something that even hinted at someone Having Questions about the divine. Heck, I have a few books I 99% enjoy and I just skim over or entirely skip parts that involve actions I find uncomfortable - my one hard rule is that I won’t willingly even skim anything where bad things happen to pets, but even then, I don’t assume that everybody who ever earned a Newbury Medal is a bad person who likes thinking about such things. I just don’t read their books. Unless you are compelled to do otherwise for a class* or the like, just do thou likewise.

*I was, very reluctantly, compelled to read two books in my undergraduate Adolescent Literature class where bad things happened to dogs; it was the first and last time in my life that I’ve ever tried to get out of reading something, but the professor didn’t believe what I could bring myself to explain about just how negative of a reaction I knew I would have if I read any books with dying dogs in them. Now I still have one of those scenes lodged in my carousel of intrusive thoughts that drive my anxiety level up and make it really difficult not to engage in compulsive behaviors whenever they rudely shove their way up to the front of my brain, but I don’t think badly of Sherman Alexie because of it.

Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?

Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.

Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!

But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"

Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.

I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.

Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.

But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.

Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.

Also, we don't censor words here.

[promptedwordsmith]

LaDS guys receiving flowers

Caleb

Caleb would feel a bit conflicted receiving flowers. His initial instinct would be to downplay it, even if the gesture was deeply appreciated. Caleb’s pride and self-reliance might make him feel somewhat uncomfortable with such an outward symbol of affection, especially if it’s in front of others. He’s used to being the one who takes care of others, not the one being cared for. Receiving flowers might stir a mix of emotions—thankfulness, a hint of discomfort, maybe even a slight defensiveness as he tries to reconcile this with his more stoic, soldier-like nature.

That said, if the flowers came from you, Caleb would likely feel a deeper, softer reaction. He would appreciate the gesture more than he let on, even if he didn’t show it outwardly. Flowers from you would remind him of his vulnerability, and he’d treasure them in a way he wouldn’t with anyone else’s. Caleb might keep them close, even if he didn’t fully understand why they meant so much to him. They would become a symbol of the love he sometimes struggled to express, something to keep as a reminder that, in this one thing, he doesn’t have to be the strong, unshakable figure—he can let you love him in a way that feels different, but still significant.

Rafayel

Receiving flowers, on the other hand, would be a very different experience for Rafayel. He’d appreciate the gesture, of course, but there would be a part of him that’s unsure of how to handle it. He’s someone who values deeper, more personal connections, and while he’d love the sentiment behind receiving flowers, he might not always know how to respond in the moment. His pride could make him a little awkward with such an outwardly “romantic” gesture. He’d appreciate the beauty of the flowers, the thoughtfulness, but the attention might make him blush or fumble over his words. In his mind, the flowers would be a beautiful token, but he’d still see them as something outside of his more personal, intimate connection with you.

Deep down, however, receiving flowers from you would touch him in a way that goes beyond his initial reaction. It would remind him that you notice him, that you care about him in a way that feels very tender. He’d likely keep the flowers for as long as possible, perhaps even preserving them in a way that allows him to keep the memory of the gesture close—because, despite his usual aloofness, moments of emotional sincerity are ones he holds onto tightly.

Sylus

Sylus would find it somewhat unusual, maybe even a little uncomfortable at first. Flowers—such delicate, fleeting things—are not something he often associates with his world of power, strategy, and control. He would likely accept them with his signature coolness, perhaps offering a polite smile, but internally, he might feel a little out of place. It’s not that he dislikes the gesture, but it’s not his usual mode of communication. Sylus prefers actions that have substance, that are tied to results, not symbols of affection that fade too quickly.

That said, if the flowers were given by someone he cares about—especially you—he might soften, just slightly. The gesture would still feel foreign to him, but the fact that you took the time to choose something for him, something so intimate and vulnerable, would cause a shift. He would appreciate it in his own quiet, understated way, perhaps in the way he keeps them nearby, his usual aloofness momentarily replaced with something gentler. Still, he’d never fully embrace the idea of receiving flowers as he would with giving them—it would always be a bit of a curiosity to him, a contrast to the power-driven world he inhabits.

Xavier

Xavier would likely feel a moment of surprise if someone gave him flowers. It’s not something he’s used to, and the gesture might make him a little uncertain about how to respond. But once the initial shock passed, he would begin to recognize how special the moment is. The flowers would likely hold a deep meaning for him, and he would appreciate them not for the act itself but for what they represent: attention, care, and connection.

He’s not the type to outwardly express excitement over receiving flowers, but inwardly, he would feel grateful and touched. There’s something so intimate about someone giving you flowers, and for Xavier, that would feel like a small, precious gift. He might keep the flowers in a place where he can look at them quietly, perhaps on a windowsill or a small table by his bed, allowing them to remind him of the person who gave them.

Xavier is more likely to treasure the flowers over time, allowing them to serve as a reminder of the bond shared with the person who gave them to him. Even if the flowers eventually wilt, the sentiment behind the gesture would stay with him. He might even be the type to preserve the flowers somehow, pressing them between the pages of a book or keeping them in a special place as a token of that shared moment.

Zayne

if you gave him flowers, Zayne would appreciate the sentiment and the effort behind it, even if he didn’t outwardly show it as much. He might not immediately show the emotional impact, but deep down, he would feel touched by the thoughtfulness, knowing that you understood him enough to express your care in a way that was uniquely meaningful to him. In a quiet moment, he might even keep the flowers in his office or by his bedside—hidden away, but cherished in his own way.

[freakattack]

Favorite obscure Mario characters?

GLOM

The light of my fucking life. As a lifelong koopalinghead and specifically iggyhead i slurped up the Nintendo Adventure Books like a slug slurps slime and obviously a connoisseur of my caliber would immediately latch onto this thing. It's a cloning machine Iggy made that turns sand into clones but more importantly it is a 15 ft tall clanking clunking contraption with googly eyes (to see what it's cloning, natch), a stack of CRT monitors that each display a different horror B-movie at all times, and a constant trail of slime oozing from its tank treads. If this is not your favorite Mario character of all time then you're an idiot.

2. DOUGHNUTEER

I might be the only person who cares about doughnuteer and I couldn't tell you why. Actually I can, it's because he reminds me of a little shrew

And I like doughnuts.

3. PIRANHA SUE

In addition to the Nintendo Adventure Books i also lapped up the corresponding Nintendo Comics System, which followed a similar continuity in the absence of more official sources of mario lore. I never appreciated piranha sue as much as I should have in my youth but after revisiting these comics a couple years ago i can safely say that she is the greatest bootleg piranha plant I have ever met and it is an honor to witness her evil human teeth. I want her in mario baseball.

4. HERMAN SMIRCH

Herman smirch is a terrible person and character but I am transfixed by his awfulness and so he is here. Growing up the Game Boy Comic was like the evil counterpart to the Nintendo Comics System, but now that I'm grown up and evil myself I can truly appreciate the depths of its depravity. The gist of Herman Smirch is that he is a shitty loser republican from new jersey who obtains a game boy that, through the will of Tatanga (who lives in the game boy), manipulates him into committing increasingly violent crimes until he has embroiled himself in an international military conflict. The game boy comic was supposed to make people want to buy the game boy but in practice placed it center stage in a slow burn of this already terrible man's spiral into insanity. What a yarn. I have shown a highlights reel of herman's wacky antics here but if you're too lazy to click that link then I at least want you to see this:

5. FRACKTAIL

Fracktail is comparatively not obscure at all but I don't care it's my list I'll cry if I want to. If I put fracktail here then I would technically be justified in also putting other mario rpg all-stars like Bowyer and TEC-XX and Valentina but I won't go that far, Fracktail can be here on their behalf. Anyway, the first time I saw this thing I screamed, because I thought I was going to have to fight it, and then it was friendly and then I loved it forever. And then a stupid bastardly clown came and destroyed everything and ruined my life but this isn't about him. I love you Fracktail and I wish you were still here. You didn't deserve that

6. HAL 9001

Moving on

7. WOOSTER

Before Toadsworth, there was Wooster. The original long-suffering butler to the Toadstools, Wooster was a Nintendo Comics System Special who presumably passed alongside the Mushroom King he served. There isn't much to say about his character beyond the typical trappings of Beleagured Butler, but there is one thing that makes him interesting to think about and that is the comic called "Wooster Quit". In "Wooster Quit", every Mario character is FLABBERGASTED because Wooster Quit, and they can't imagine a life without Wooster. So the whole comic is about everybody trying to get Wooster back and of course Wooster comes back and the status quo is restored. But the premise of casting this mario OC as an essential player in these characters' lives is funny to me in a meta sense because we very much do live a life without Wooster. We are living in a post-Wooster world. It just goes to show that no matter how obscure you are, you are important to someone. Even if that someone is me.

8. ROACHIE

Roachie is the cockroach living in Wario's brain. One morning, she crawled up his nose, which Wario was horrified by but not for the reason you might think: "Is little roachie gone for good?!?!!?" As a devout cockroach appreciator, I was touched by Wario's genuine concern for God's most darling creature. Fortunately, little roachie was not indeed gone for good, because that very night, Wario heard her walking around inside his skull. Yippie! Hooray! We can only hope that she is living a nice life up there to this day. Hope is all we have.

9. BRAWL DOLL

This will come as no surprise to those who know me, but if you don't know me: fellas, I fucking love ventriloquist dolls. Charlie mccarthy was my idol growing up. I'll never be half the dummy he was. So a wario-branded wooden doll is basically my ant bait. Brawl Doll is what Geno could have been if Square wasn't full of squares.

10. THE BEETLES 'R' US SNIFIT

They put me in a mario game

[justforyourlovee]

Synastry observations -1-

Paid readings :))

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+ If anyone wanna ask about a synastry aspect , comment it here and I will post it in next synastry observation Post , tyy

ᯓᡣ𐭩 his Lilith conjunct your sun :It’s over. Very intense! HAWT. This conjunction can make a married man leave his wife of 20 years. Powerful sexual energy. Karmic. This will mirror the dark energy of the man to himself.Can he see his own demons and welcome them with love? Or does he reject all parts of himself?How this goes is completely dependent on the man’s ability to love all parts of him.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 their north node conjunct your sun :they light the way for your soul path this lifetime but won't be your comfort zone because it's nn so will be pushing you forward towards where your meant to be so you need to be mature enough to handle that energy because it involves responsibility and honesty with yourself.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Seventh house synastry:When someone has a lot of planets in your 7th house, you’ll feel a strong connection with them. You’ll enjoy their company, feel comfortable, and trust them. Whether you’re doing something fun or just relaxing together, it’ll feel good. This bond can affect your love life—you might be partners or close friends who help each other with relationships. You’ll just *get* what the other person needs when it comes to love.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Uranus square ascendant : this feels like  you're both trying to find a balance between staying true to yourselves and being open to new ideas and experiences. The Uranus person might push you to step out of your comfort zone, which can be exhilarating but also a bit unsettling.  I'm not saying it's a bad aspect but  let's say it's a friendship , you and your friend are always on the lookout for the next adventure, constantly pushing each other to try new things and explore new ideas. The Uranus person may bring a sense of freedom and liberation to the friendship, encouraging the Ascendant person to break free from routine and embrace change BUT this can lead to a dynamic and stimulating friendship, it can also create tension, especially if one person feels like the other is pushing them too far out of their comfort zone. AND if it's a romantic relationship this aspect in any type of relationship add excitement for sure whether it sometimes conjunct the MC ( excitement in you career) or the IC ( excitement in your home environment or in your emotions in general) but this aspect can lead to conflicts maybe a lot of conflicts , especially if one person feels like their need for independence is being stifled by the other. It's like trying to find a balance between being true to yourself and being part of a partnership. If not managed well, this aspect can lead to a relationship that feels chaotic and unstable, with both partners feeling like they're never on solid ground.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sun Moon Opposition : When the Sun is opposite the Moon in synastry, the Sun person often feels drawn to the Moon person. They admire how the Moon approaches life in their own unique way, and there’s a sense of respect for their emotional depth. The Sun, being creative and expressive, appreciates the Moon’s different perspective. Once the Moon feels safe and knows they won’t be overshadowed, these two can become really close—like best friends or partners who just *get* each other. It’s all about mutual respect and giving each other space to be themselves.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Lilith in the 10th house synastry: the Lilith person looks at the house person and thinks, "You’re going places."There’s admiration, but also this restless feeling like they need to  prove something or even challenge the house person’s success. Instead of lifting each other up, they might push against each other, sometimes out of jealousy, sometimes just to see what happens. The Lilith person might feel like the house person represents the **kind of power or recognition they secretly want which can create tension.

Buy me a coffee(tip)

____________________________________

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm Late But Who Cares?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2025 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Oh no my babies are in trouble! I actually don’t mind the coming out being part of the conflict, it’s rare to see these days, but it was more common in early BL. This show feels like such a throwback Thai BL anyway, that it’s sort of goes with the story. Of course it was conflict that was resolved almost immediately. But honestly I’m so charmed by the show I don’t mind any of this.

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - still enjoying but annoyed by Jun. I’m glad everybody’s feelings have been made clear, Iun is too much a little shit for the way he went about it. The hand holding was very cute tho. 

Truer words! When a character reveals the entire plot of a show.

The Boy Next World (Sun IQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - Phu’s friends are the best. I love them so much. Still cautiously enjoying this.

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - Why are Kant’s pants always too short in this show? Meanwhile, the plot progresses as expected. But it’s OK. I’m enjoying it enough. I like that Kant, who is slightly evil, is willing to go even more evil for the man he loves. It was a twist I was not expecting. I believe it less with Style. Oh my, have we turned into a caper all of a sudden? Huh. This was a good episode. But then I do like a caper.

I’m also gonna mention briefly that I see you Heart Killers for using old tropes in a new way. The bleacher shot (Lovesick callback), the empty pool. Very very clever.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 17 end - Nice solid ending I remain more interested in the couples we never got but i hope we get a season 2. 

Conclusion

A standard university Thai BL centering around two couples (med student meets engineering youth) in two parts (chasing the forever dragon that is 2 Moons). This was watchable but not much more than that with nice optics. Best if you can get hold of the extended (sexy) version especially for the second couple. 8/10 

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT) ep 14 of 24 - Wine is totally getting the "good one." Faifa (hands-down my favorite character in the series) is the master of the sarcastic ja particle. He’s very clever with it. Pay attention if particles in Thai interest you. I don’t understand why Yotha it’s so special that everybody’s willing to cater to his erratic whims.

(Am I the only one who thinks that Book and Santa should lead a BL together?)

Sangmin Dinneaw (Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - This is such an odd show. But it was a very nice kiss. And more.  And I love the boy admiring his marks after. Nice touch.

Flirt Milk (Sat YT) ep 2 or 10 - everyone behaves like a complete idiot and it’s driving me nuts.

Ossan‘s Love Thailand (Mon YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I dislike most of the characters in this show, but I truly loathe the daughter character.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

When it Rains it Pours (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - I continue to enjoy this more every week, and I’m really looking forward to next week. (Shocker.)

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 8 of 12 - no ep this week, Happy New Year! 

Impression of Youth (Taiwan Weds Viki) eps 4 of 9 - It’s modestly enjoyable but of all the relationships I think I like the brothers the best. I mostly have a smile on my face when I watch it, but so far it’s eminently forgettable. To the point where I occasionally forget to watch it when it airs. That said it looks like next week we’re getting very Taiwanese. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 17 of ?? - sigh

It's airing but......

I Will Turn Back Time (China Gaga) 6 eps - It’s Chinese, no idea if it will end well or not. But it’s the stepbrothers trope. Still, I’m not gonna watch it until it’s done.

In Case You Missed it

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai) - It's done. Spies reported in the following: Not recommend. "Lots of awkward silence and muddled story. Abrupt ending. Doesn't lean into either the romance or the prison aspect." So yeah, I'm leaving it a DNF.

End of year wraps are here!

2024 Trend Report

MY BEST & WORST BLs of 2024

Best Kisses (and sex scenes) of 2024

BL's 2024 Quirky Awards

2024 Awards - Quick Picks

Next Week Looks Like This:

*** Yeah we already in it and my calendar is a complete mess, so no visual for you. ***

On now: FC Soldout (Korea iQIYI) 8eps - sports BL, football player meets actor.

2/14 Exclusive Love (Taiwan Gaga) - Shy aspiring singer inherits funeral business.

2/27 Secret Relationships (Korea iQIYI) - Stars Wei's Kim Jun Seo. Adapted by Cradle Studio (Kakao). About clever and resourceful Daon who has worked hard to overcome being poor. His cheap ways annoy his coworker, Sunghyeon but after “an incident” with his parents, Daon grows closer to him. But Daon also has feelings for his former tutor. This has the signs of a classic Kdrama all over it: Office setting, love triangle, lead suffering for his self-actualization. I’m optimistic about a longer treatment.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Best line in BL history? Possibly

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[beloveddawn-blog]

Merchandise Blues! Aika and Zira Go to the Zoo!

Fandom: Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl

Rating: Gen

Words: 2k

Summary: There's a new line of Star Guardian merch out! Zira loves it. Aika is conflicted.

Based off of @kianamaiart's amazing universe and @ok-pop-1's incredible art! The concept behind it was just so fun!

Aika slid further down into her seat as yet another yellow Star Bag came into sight. Hoshi smirked, but Zira wasn’t concerned with them.

“You okay?” She asked her crush friend, nudging the smaller girl gently.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Aika replied, pulling herself up straighter and trying to smile like she wasn’t bothered. “I just forgot the new merch line was out this week, that’s all. It’s just… just a lot. Of blue. And yellow. Very yellow.”

“... You do know you are also wearing blue and yellow, right?” Zira asked, unable to stop the question. Aika’s face twisted back into a pout and she sulked back down into her seat.

“They were my favourite colours first!” She insisted, then hissed in a softer voice, “That’s why she wears them, not the other way around.”

“True!” Hoshi piped up from beside them. “I don’t really care what colours Aika wears. Both my colour and the uniform match her preferences, since it helps human confidence so much to feel like you look good.” They went back to comparing hoodies with an over-excited kindergartener then, entirely ignoring the girls once again.

Aika shook her head while Zira giggled, as amused as always at how the two mirrored each others’ disinterest and disillusionment in perfectly inverted symmetry. 

Aika glanced around the train car again, and her face fell when she saw one group that ramped the whole merch thing up to 11. The parents were… mostly normal. They both had the new hoodies, he had a bag and she was wearing Star Wand print leggings, but the kids���

The baby was actually really cute, dressed like a little star with the hood up. Wings longer than the kid themself hung down from the carrier the mom had them in and the little blue baby shoes matched the whole thing perfectly, even though they obviously weren't part of the official line.

The elementary schooler, on the other hand… Zira probably thinks she’s cute. Aika thought, scowling unconsciously at a little redhead wearing a replica of her uniform, right down to the (NON-platform, at least they were sensible there) boots. Her hair was up in two little ponytails held in place with ties that had satin stars on them, and she was clutching a Star Guardian doll with one arm and her dad’s hand with the other. She was gazing around in wonder at all the other people wearing the same colours before she spotted Aika and her eyes went wide.

“MOMMY SHE HAS STAR PIGTAILS TOO!!” The kid shrieked, both parents immediately shushing her. “I’m so sorry,” Her father told the people around them, “Katie shush. You’ll wake the baby and you’re bothering others.” Her mom hissed. Her face twisted at the rebuke, and in only a blink she’d slipped her father’s hold and was right up in Aika’s face.

“Ummm… Hi?” Aika tried, not quite certain what had just happened here.

“You love Star Guardian too.” The kid insisted, reaching towards Aika’s hair but stopping just short. “Mommy can’t get the buns right, so Daddy bought me the bows. Did your Mommy do these for you?”

Aika blinked at her while her father rushed up to them, apologizing before he even got there. “Ah, no? I do them myself.”

“STAR GUARDIAN IS THE BEST!” The kid shrieked again, just as her father scooped her up. One hand wrapped around her to cover her mouth as he hushed her.

“Katie, no. We’ve talked about this, you can’t be yelling inside like that. You know better. It’s really rude, as is getting in this nice young lady’s face like that.” He turned towards Aika himself as his kid quieted down to sulk. “I’m really sorry about that. She’s usually not like this, but her grandmother just bought her the dress and now she’s a bit overwrought and is having a hard time calming down. I’m sorry she went to touch you as well. I promise she usually does know better.”

“It’s alright.” Aika replied, not quite certain what else to say. Zira smirked a bit next to her, noticing an opportunity to tease her friend a little.

“She’s quite the fan, isn’t she? And Star Guardian is her favourite?” The girl perked up at this, though she kept her voice to a reasonable level when she responded.

“She saves people.” The wonder in her voice was so awestruck it even made Zira a little uncomfortable, knowing that she knew something the girl didn’t. She snuck a glance at Aika, who was now having an even harder time pretending she didn’t want to snap at the kid just a little.

“That is what she does.” Hoshi broke in distractedly, now looking out the window. “It’s what she’s here for.”

Aika’s face fell at that in a way that made the man’s brow furrow in concern. The little girl didn’t notice. 

“She saved us.” She continued, clutching her doll with hero-worship clear on her face. “I gave her a flower and she thanked me for it. Grandma’s teaching me to grow buttercups so next time I can give her one I grew just for her, rather than one I picked in the park.”

“... A buttercup?” Aika asked, her defensiveness dropping from her even as her eyebrows drew together. “You gave her a buttercup?”

The little girl buried her face in her father’s shoulder, suddenly shy, so it was him that nodded. “She did. There was a fight at the park and my wife couldn’t move very quickly because she was pregnant. Star Guardian got us out safely, and Katie gave her a buttercup she had picked just before it all went pear-shaped. It made an impression on us, as I’m sure you can see.” He gestured to himself then, and both Aika and Zira joined in with his little chuckle. He headed back to the rest of his family then, and Katie waved at them over his shoulder. Aika waved back, a soft grin on her face.

“Star Guardian made quite an impression on them.” Zira commented, trying to gauge Aika’s mood after that run-in.

Aika’s face fell, and Zira winced. “She does that.” There was a hollowness to Aika’s voice that Zira wasn’t used to hearing and wasn’t sure how to handle.

“I remember you putting that buttercup in a vase when you got home.” Hoshi commented, obviously trying to cajole the young girl back into a better mood. It didn’t work, as the smile Aika gave them was brittle around the edges and so obviously forced.

“I remember how much trouble I got in for breaking formation to help them.” She replied mildly. “No one would talk about anything else for weeks. It was all, “How could you be so unprofessional, Aika? Don’t you ever think of anyone but yourself? You’re so unreliable Aika. We can’t trust your judgement. How are you always late?” Eventually everyone seemed to get bored of it, but it would still come up every now and then when I was ‘underperforming’.” She put the air quotes around the word, but even if she hadn’t her tone would have conveyed them anyway. Hoshi winced.

“Yeah, that was… not my best showing. I messed that up pretty bad.” Their voice was rough in a way that in a human would probably have meant they were fighting back tears but Hoshi… wasn’t. There wasn’t a human equivalent to the tone of it. It reminded Zira of grief.

“How?” She questioned, unable to help herself even though she could tell that neither of them really wanted to talk about it. “What happened with that fight?”

Hoshi squirmed a bit, but did answer. “One of the other girls took a bad hit that probably wouldn’t have happened if Star Guardian was there. It all… Got a little personal. After. And I… Didn’t shut that down. I should have. I should have made it clear that they didn’t have the authority to question Aika’s judgement or dedication. And I should have trusted in them myself.”

Aika was leaning forward now to look at Hoshi around Zira, and it was clear on her face that they had never discussed this since. She obviously didn’t know Hoshi regretted it. “So why didn’t you?” She demanded, causing Hoshi to slink back defensively into their hoodie.

“Mainly because I just really didn’t understand humans.” They replied, obviously trying to keep their defensiveness out of their tone. “I’d never worked with any before, and this was fairly early on in your career. Usually a Guardian team needs to work together to defeat a monster. I was… trying to encourage you to think of your team first, because I assumed that without them you couldn’t win and more people would be in danger. Most species are not as… creative as humans, and even other humans aren’t as creative as you, Aika.” Aika blushed at that, obviously pleased with the praise. “I thought your apparent willingness to abandon your teammates was a show of weakness and disharmony, rather than of trust. And… I think the other girls followed my lead on that.”

Aika blinked at them. “There is never a world where I will abandon a family that has no way to protect themselves for the sake of a group that should have the ability to fight on their own. Also it’s really messed up that you expect a kid to make that choice. I was still in elementary school.”

Hoshi nodded. “Yeah, I also… Don’t really have a frame of reference for just how young you were when you started. I wasn’t expecting that. So since neither the Star Shard or humanity come with an instruction manual, I had to just figure it out on the fly. That time I guessed wrong, but it took over a year for me to know that. By that time it was too late to fix.”

There was a very uncomfortable silence radiating from both sides of her that made Zira shiver from a purely emotional cold. Then a thought came, and she broke it in as awkward a way as she ever did. “You should join the leadership club.”

They both turned to her, blinking in bemusement. “The leadership club?” Aika repeated in bewilderment.

“Yeah!” She replied, just going with it now that they weren’t so upset. “You said humans don’t come with an instruction manual, but there are still things you can do and learn to make it easier to work with us! I don’t think you can take any actual management courses, those are usually adult things, but leadership would be a good start!”

Aika laughed at that. “That's a great idea! And since we joined the book club, Hoshi’s gonna be on their own for it. Sounds like fun.”

The star in question sulked back into their seat. “I don’t wanna miss book club!” They insisted. “That kid with the hair gets all uppity when I’m not there to refute their nonsense, and besides! I’ve already read the book!”

Zira blinked at them. “That book was decided on yesterday,” she stressed. “How have you already read it?”

“Hoshi doesn’t need to sleep as much as we do.” Aika replied, getting to her feet just as the announcement came on. “Come on, this is our stop! I can’t wait to see the penguins!” Her face lit up with glee as the train rocked to a stop, and she was gone the moment the doors opened. Zira found themself grinning as well, their previous mood restored. Aika had that effect on people. 

[didalexiabreakupwitholgaisback]

el caso rubiales: headlines from day 2, in which we listened to men, men, and more men making excuses and pointing fingers at each other 🙃

today we heard from men’s national team coach luis de la fuente, ex-director for integrity for rfef miguel garcía caba, ex-communications director for rfef pablo garcía cuervo, ex-subdirector for communications for rfef enrique yunta, and former psychologist for the women’s team javier lópez vallejo.

remember that in the immediate aftermath of the world cup, rfef issued multiple statements trying to downplay the kiss, including one supposedly "written by jenni" that she never wrote!

anyway, garcía caba testified that he was asked to prepare a report about the implications of rubiales’ sexual aggression and to interview people involved. the object of the report was a procedure for clarifying facts about the rubiales’ behaviours: the behaviour in the box and the kiss. players were omitted from the report because he didn't have time to ask them as he was told to finish in a day and a half because this reached global levels of awareness and being a problem.

garcía caba stated it was not his competence to determine if the kiss was an abuse of power. but he did use an expert and lip reader to analyse body language, including jenni’s during the world cup celebration, for a later report. 😵‍💫

he testified that vilda did not intervene in these reports. but he did call rubén rivera, who had a connection to jenni, to try and talk to her but jenni did not want to talk to him.

garcía cuervo went next and testified that he had no animosity towards jenni even though she signed a document, along with other players of the national team, asking for the dismissal of some rfef professionals, including him. he claims that some of the statements he wrote attributed to jenni had been given the “ok” by her.

he accused the players for not being accurate in their declarations and said that jenni contradicted herself and called her "a very impressionable and manipulable person." the judge lost patience with this witness and told him that he wasn’t answering questions in the correct manner. (yay judge!)

next came yunta. his testimony conflicted with that of poki’s yesterday. and he claimed that in the integrity meeting where various rfef officials met she changed the answers that she didn't like the sound of. and he said he expressed his frustration with how that meeting went down and felt very uncomfortable.

finally, we got to current men's coach luis de la fuente (who clapped for rubiales during his famous "i will not resign" speech). 🙄 he was in australia and flew back with the team but claimed he slept the entire flight and did not hear anything. he was asked about a supposed meeting at rfef headquarters with poki (who testified yesterday) to discuss what happened and denied knowledge of that meeting too.

at one point, one of the attorneys was asking a question to which de la fuente made a flip comment saying he was not here to talk about these topics to which the judge reprimanded him by saying "one does not choose what one is going to talk about, one comes to answer what is asked."

the last witness of the day was the psychologist, lópez vallejo, who testified that he was randomly assigned to the team without training for bullying or similar cases. he didn't witness the kiss, nor did any players come to him.

he also said: "my role was to show them my availability, to let them know that they could come to me. if there is a player who doesn't come, it's because they don't consider me to be the person who can help them at that moment." 🙄

he also testified that he was not aware of the magnitude of the kiss and did not reach out to jenni at the time. he only reached out to her later when someone from fifa wanted to get in touch with jenni and he helped facilitate that.

he also claims that luis de la fuente was indeed there at one of the meetings but he doesn't remember the details.

so in summary, what a shitshow and a group of low class men 🥴

but watch this fun video of the judge yelling at the witnesses!

source: marca on twitter

[lostnorthwinds]

Latin american here. It may be because I've only had contact with own family (nearing the end of summer break), but:

We hate him. Me and my mom keep talking about this shitstorm. My classmates and I were devastated and confused when we opened google the morning of the US elections and saw that Harris was losing.

The thing with the USA is: YOUR ELECTIONS, YOUR PRESIDENT, YOUR POLITICS, do not ONLY affect the US. It affects everyone, everyone in this globe because the US has way too much power over everyone else. And the incredibly annoying part is that we can't do shit about it. It's affecting everyone, and we were powerless to actually do something during the US elections themselves, because our votes don't count, we don't have that right.

If you want me to be very honest here: Going off the last 8 years, while Trump was/is in power, I heard, and still hear, shit about him every single day. Of something he's done, conflict, and most of times it didn't even involve my country. But while Biden was in power - don't take this badly, I honestly couldn't care less about politicians - I didn't hear a peep about the US for the entirety of the 4 years. It was silent. I could just focus on my life. But now the guy is back, and with him a shitton of news that I'll hear for the next years.

Just sharing this here cause this is terrifying bro

I legit thought the whole rest of the world was leaning far apt right and in favour of trump and I almost had NO HOPE. I even told my partner this morning that I was so worried that there would be nobody on the outside who would step up for us. My partner who does research 24/7 didn’t see ANY news about international protests. Everything we learned was that everyone outside of the US was in agreement with this shit man (at least, international governments were in agreement)

If you’re non-american Please give me hope and tell me there are voices outside of the US speaking up for us and fighting where we literally cannot even see or access.

[isa-ghost]

I genuinely intend to remain reinforcing that Phil Does Not Want To Do Lore On The Realm because I don't want the community's pushing to send him to the point of never doing anything like it again (I've seen this lowkey happen before in other fandoms).

BUT...

I see such a clear pipeline from trPhil's "no fuck you go away I'm burying previous trauma and pain in logging obsessively" to some sort of "fine, I admit I'm miserable because I lost family and friends AGAIN, and I will begrudgingly try soothing it with letting people in my bubble again" type surrender moment brought on by trSneeg because he's so persuasive and makes excellent points with pure logic and reason and the idea makes me salivate.

Obviously it's all 100% ooc jokes and even if it WAS intentional rp, we have no guarantee that trPhil is "main" (specifically q) Phil, but technically trPhil HAS vaguely opened up to trSneeg about the grief and scars he has in the wake of losing his children. trSneeg knows trPhil is bitter and still grieving. He can see that logging, no matter what trPhil insists, is Not helping him actually heal. It's just barely letting him cope.

It's the same old tricks rpPhil has always turned to to deal with baggage, immersing himself as much as he can in physical labor of some kind. His projects back home in Hardcore, the "trains in his basement" in DSMP after he had to kill his own son, all the building and looting and protesting he did on QSMP any time the kids were taken away from him.

And I think we've seen more than enough evidence to show that trSneeg could 100% keep his cool through all the stubborn and heated refusal trPhil would meet with his attempts to convince him to just be willing to socialize and invest in people again. Not even to join Yellow, just let himself have meaningful connections again, rather than sticking to tolerating his and trFit's presences (most of the time). Even though trPhil's evasive behavior has been reinforced (probably tenfold) after The Keepers assaulted him and destroyed his wings AGAIN, I think with the tenacity and confidence trSneeg exudes, he could slowly eventually coax trPhil into opening up again. Even if just a tiny bit.

Especially because he sees why trPhil is so adamant on sticking to his guns rn, he knows it's not JUST the factions and snails. He'd see it even if trPhil hadn't straight up told him multiple times already. Right away, trSneeg would make it very clear that trPhil would have no obligations to anyone or anything, that socializing doesn't mean he HAS to save people from the peril they face or take a side in the interpersonal conflicts they have or help them all figure out what the deal is with the eyes or the Keepers or anything else.

He doesn't have to put up with a snail that reminds him of his lost kids, he doesn't have to choose a side like it's Purgatory again, he doesn't have to get involved with the horrors people are going through like he often did with the islanders, he doesn't have to help solve/understand whatever is going on in The Realm like he did with The Federation and The Codes and everything else fucked up and strange on Quesadilla Island. If having friends is all he wants, he can have that.

And even if trSneeg STILL couldn't sway trPhil with All That, that would mean we'd get a gut-wrenching storyline about how after so many years of loving and losing again and again throughout his immortal life, rpPhil knows that pain is a part of love whether you want it to be or not, you can't have one without the other. He can't make connections here without signing up for the stress and pain that comes with it because that's what it means to care about people.

It's not just the most recent time putting him off from it all, it's an entire cycle he's been forced to suffer in for as long as he can remember, because that's what being immortal entails. He wants the cycle to end already. He can't stand being fully alone right now whether he admits it or not thanks to QI. His determination to isolate himself as much as he can while he's in The Realm is to slowly reacclimate himself to being alone so he can tolerate it in his home world again. When the loneliness gets unbearable, that's when he has no qualms with being pestered by people or goes to see what everyone else is up to. As that happens less over time, he'll go home again now that complete isolation doesn't hurt anymore (or more accurately: now that he's reconvinced himself it doesn't).

All of this is to say, trSneeg is 100% the guy that would break the ice under trPhil and get his story rolling, whether that means he embraces the pain of loving and caring again, or reinforces how hellbent he is on trying to escape it.

[wisteria-lodge]

2 things about Lily

It's obvious that she was the one to defeat Voldemort the first time around, not Harry, but Rowling refuses to elaborate on the spell, saying that she cast it accidentally (which... yeah sure, but then she created a world where only one mother and child could do it out of love... like did other children that suffered were not loved enough? oh i so dislike that). I don't know why Rowling does it. Like I always wanted it to be an actual spell that she (and James) researched and did as part of their back-up plan, but noooooo. A woman? Win against the big bad? In the 90s?? Noooo

Lily grew up with two people that we get to know intimately, and loved them dearly. Two very miserable, envious people, who likely hid their accents and the fact that they are of working class, two people who did everything, and sacrificed many things in order to be around characters who where wealthy. Two social climbers. And you know what Lily also did? This has to be deliberate. Like, I don't think that it's a bad thing. I think that Lily definitely wasn't as insane about social climbing as Severus and Petunia (I consider social mobility to be a positive thing!!), buuut she too married into money. So there is that.

I find it sad that the prospect of Lily being crazy ambitious and wanting to have better things are always portrayed as bad in fics, if it is discussed at all. You could have made her into a person who dreams about making it and give her a conflict about marrying into money, feeling like she will become a fake, and still craving that security! But nooooooo. Pefect perfection or a sleazy seductress, nothing else ever

Extremely good points. Wanting social stability is just a real, relatable thing, and it's got to be a lot for Lily, being told you're magic... and ADDITIONALLY learning that the power structure of the magical world that you live in now is super prejudiced against you? And there is an active dark wizard *currently* targeting people like you?

Also the sacrificial magic being cast accidentally never made sense. Harry does the same thing (I guess) on purpose at the end, with the result that all of Voldemort's spells have trouble "sticking," because Harry sacrificed himself for EVERYBODY? But I mean Regulus also sacrificed himself to protect people from Voldemort, he didn't have to die. Dumbledore willingly died to protect... Harry, Draco, Snape? Shouldn't that have had some magical effect?

It honestly would have been *so* much easier to say that Lily defeated Voldemort with a spell that sacrificed the caster's life. That's very cool, old-magic vibes.

But... this slots into an larger trend with the way JKR writes passivity and self-negation as heroic traits. The best example of this is Newt Scamander, her hero with the central traits "neutral" and "pacifist." But even with Harry... there's a reason he doesn't level up his core spells, and is most heavily associated with a disarming spell that he learns in year 2 and a shield spell he learns in year 3. JKR actively doesn't want him to be a combat character. It is *true* that Harry does not cast a single spell on-page in the entire first book. He does more magic later, but that original tendency is still there: there's a reason most of Harry's level-ups consist of loot given to him by loved ones, and not so much skills that he improves. JKR's ethos on power (expressed through Dumbledore) is that the people who handle power best are the people who don't want it.

And unfortunately... leveling up your spells on purpose... now that sounds like something that a person who WANTS POWER would do. Casting super duper powerful spells accidently (which harry also does, constantly) (and Lily does, of course) ... now *that* is much more morally pure.

[urautismdiagnosis]

Pokes u

Do you have Barnacles Headcanons to share with his wife (aka me)

YES also sorry for the late response lol uhhh this is mostly just stuff from my au lol and its got different world building than the show does

Ok first off some context, in my au the reasons for PEOPLE species to have different traits is more based on environmental factors and conflicts between other groups of people. 👌

There are definitely some wild species that aren't even intelligent enough to have nearly any sapience (in simple terms its self awareness) that would probably end up being food or wtv, but like going based off of irl stuff polar bears mostly need high fat diets and unless there are a TON extra of high fat food fish thatd make the arctic pretty hard to survive

Unless ofc 👀 well they are PEOPLE people so u can convince me they'd have somehow domesticated either musk or (hoofed arctic animal) or bred some other kind of milk producing animal as a source of food

All I'm saying is that he could and would and has eaten an entire wheel of cheese before

And he absolutely has a secret stash of high fat snacks because I think he might be a liiiiittttle bit self conscious about it

Because he realized that arctic animals and non arctic animals have HUGE differences in social norms and apparently most animals don't have at least 3 inches of fat minimum on their entire body???

And its not cuz hes embarrassed of the fat, its normal and healthy, he just doesn't want to go from Trustworthy and Reliable Captain of thr Octonauts to "oh my god i need like an entire cheesecake rn to feel normal" in front of everyone cuz like 😭 he is a bit of a comfort eater. Like ah yes our strong and level headed captain is eating an entire box of oreos at 2 am because he misses his sister again 😭

Ofc the others do find out but there isn't any judgement if anything kwazii would probably join him, bro has a history of having weird food habits (hm wonder why... surely nothing related to being shipwrecked on an island and having to survive) and its nice

He does like, have THE best snacks tho and he might be hoarding them just a tiny bit-

he also can feel a bit worried about coming off as too large or intimidating so thats why he's always got his hands on his hips- and his head lowered down a bit

its not that he seems like physically scary but a larger presence can be intimidating for a lot of people

Teeth and claws aren't usually seen as intimidating in most scenarios in this world because its so common and is just like a feature of the species the same way hearing or smell can be btw

so yeah someone threatening to scratch ya can be scary but so can someone being able to find you because they can hear ur heartbeat 💀🙏

Back to the main point, like all the other octonauts aren't even like medium sized animals (like wolves and whatever), there ALL very small species. So hes like way in the upper range, the highest and tallest possible species while everyone else are all smaller ones specifically

So if barnacles is Actually Mad (💀 the scenario to make him genuinely mad has to be BAD) then he will go to his FULL HEIGHT

Cuz irl polar bears got very tall strong necks and etc so I think him standing at Full Serious Height would be very startling

Also about polar bears sense of smell!

Circling back to the adaptations being related to survival pressures and social ones

Polar bears in this world, use their sense of smell for something very important in the arctic: navigation, above and below water

It prevents things like getting lost in the wintery white world, which is so so easy for others. It can help find others than might be lost, and it can tell u if they r injured or not and I think thats precious

there is one problem tho, while their sense of smell is VERY strong, stronger than bloodhounds and etc, its made for being able to detect things very far away in freezing temperatures... so they're extremely sensitive

Which wouldn't be that much of an issue if barnacles wasn't in all sorts of more tropical environments...

In thr artic all u can smell is other people, animals, and which was is home

But if he's not in the octopod or under the water,but somewhere where there's THOUSANDS of insects,hundreds of pollinating plants, and tons and tons of different creatures all at once-

I think thats be overwhelming and he's probably be allergic to sooooooo many plants poor guy 🥺

Also even tho he like trims and thins out his thick coat, and even has a little cooling pack vest sort of thing under his uniform he can still overheat pretty easily

Cuz yk, the several inches of brown fat or blubber? Someone might say "hey just adjust ur diet and whatever to lose it" but that would be VERY UNHEALTHY for him... mess with the balance of his bodys systems yk? so its really not an option;^;

So yeah he still tends to overheat and thats why having his room canoncially set to actual arctic temperatures every night helps him sleep better and feel better

Usually alot of octonauts missions happen under water or in gups or maybe they'll spend some time on an island and it'll be hot

But with extended time spent in warmer climates he has to take alot more breaks and it can be alot harder for him

Also I think that he had a period in his early 20s college years where he was like kinda lowkey depressed because he was learning more about global warming and capitalism

, it didn't last too long fortunately because yk he met professor inkling who was already developing his idea for the octonauts

and they actuslly became really good friends and it really came together as a realistic thing when tweak got wind of em

On a more depressing note global warming for polar bears in a world where they're actual people with a unique culture and heritage means some totally different stuff

Like its not even the fact they can't even engage in their own cultural traditions (cough traveling in that one arctic global warming special where they were all exhausted cuz all the melted sea ice cough)

Its also the loss of genuine homes (in my au they're kinda like ice hobbit houses 🥰since polar bears irl will dig out shallow resting spots or mama bears will have dens with a toasty 30 degrees farenheit), architectural collapses, traditional jobs that can only be done in the arctic being lost, and being forced into more southern grounds because more and more just can't rely living there anymore

And I think that'd be super depressing to see in real time, its a cultural death

Heck even irl there's so many grizzlies going north and polar going south that they've actually started to mix and start having hybrids (grolar bears). And the thing is they're so genetically compatible that their species can actually develope into their own separate identity that might totally replace most if not all polar bears sense they're just more adapt to the changing climate and have more range,with benefits from both species

And while that sounds great on paper and makes sense and is obviously fine for them to have easier lives, I think in thr context of this world it would leave barnacles with some conflicted feelings

Because the thing is there used to be concerns about polar bears having to leave their homes to live is societies and communities that just... that their jobs wouldn't fit to. That would be physically harder for them to be healthy in. That they'd have to give up so many thousands of years of traditions thatd be impossible to carry over in.

Idk its late and I've got one braincell and idk if this makes sense and im sorry if it got depressing 😭

But yeah, so there's more and more of these younger people grolar bears, that just... will never have that full connection to their heritage. And idk I think its sad and maybe I'm projecting

Also I think that if barnacles was ever sad he'd just cope by playing the accordian lol,like the one meme of the girl playing "its a mental breakdown ✨" on a kazoo 😭

Let's end this on a happier note tho, circling back to barnacles being several feet taller than his entire crew, like-

We all already know this guy emotionally adopts every living being in sight

And well, his ENTIRE CREW literally, and I mean very literally and physically, looks up to him-

Like they all gotta turn their heads up and loon at him with big hopeful eyes ready for whatever he has to say

And im gonna be honest his composure is alot stronger than mine cux I would CRY because of how adorable that is

Like he knows its probably so unprofessional and might be seen as condescending BUT DAMN IT HE CANT HELP THR CUTENESS AGRESSION!!! HE WANTS TO SQUISH THEIR TINY FACES!!!

so sometimes hell have a very Serious and Leadership-like Captain Conversation, and then thr SECOND hes out of their sight (and hopefully hearing) HE JUST HAS TO STOP HIMSELF FROM JUST CRYING-

Cuz the second hes out of sight he will LOSE ALL COMPOSURE and need a minute because he loves them so much AND THEYRE SO FCKING SMALL-

Its kinda funny tho cuz ur captain barnacles is a pretty tiny guy, wonder howd that work for u XD

Anyways gn or whatever time it is for u 🐻‍❄️✨✨✨

Also he and Bianca call at least every week for an hour and frequently send eachother updates about what they're up to

He could talk to her about anything and she's good at talking sense into him

He makes sure that natquick gets plenty of social interaction too, that man is like his father figure

(Kinda sad but I headcanon barnacles dad died when he was really young cuz of an accident where ice collapsed, probably did not help how he felt when he got stuck in an icy hole as a kid 💀🙏)

ALSO

Barnacles looking up at u vvv

Barnaclea being his lil theater kid self^

Wait~ they don't love you ✨like I love you ✨🥰

Barnacles half awake at a late night mission when everything is done and they're just driving the gup a back home

Barnacles and Bianca on a video call

[hetkapselmijnsouwenheren]

That's what I love about this character. It's an original twist on the “interesting girl” archetype, as in the one person who's not immediately taken by the super popular prince which sparkles the latter's interest who then proceeds to unleash an, oddly effective, torrent of sexual harassment onto the former with it somehow being effective.

But usually they're very passionate and temperamental and have all sorts of complex inner turmoil emotions like “Urgh, I hate him, he's constantly messing with me, constantly sexually harassing me and making fun of me... and yet... whenever I think of him it's like... it's almost like I actually ...” but this one is just super dry and non-conflicted about it and completely okay with recognizing that someone who's a fair bit annoying can also be beautiful without even being emotionally moved by said beauty and having realized it from the start.

Not to randomly talk about Apothecary Diaries, but almost every time Mao Mao talks about Jinshi she uses the most romantic and poetic terms possible but says them with the banal factuality of a nature documentary narrator, and it is absolutely sending me. Like:

Mao Mao, completely deadpan: He is such a heavenly beauty, people would start wars over him.

Mao Mao, legitimately concerned: I best not put makeup on him. If he were made any more beautiful it would topple nations

Mao Mao, watching girls fawn over Jinshi: This makes sense, he has such otherworldly beauty that he would be irresistible to any woman or man

Mao Mao, as if taking a scientific observation: Something must be amiss with Master Jinshi, usually he glitters like the sun

(I’m not overdramatising, these exact narrations happened)

[bybobbysbeard]

Cooldown

Day 3 for @bucktommyfluffebruary: spiderman kiss. read on ao3 read other days here

Buck opens his eyes to the familiar view of his boyfriend’s bedroom’s popcorn ceiling. Morning sunlight slants across the walls. Buck stretches, reaching out, but the sheets beside him are cool. The house is quiet. 

Tommy's home is tiny. It’s a two bedroom bungalow, set on a pie-shaped lot in a friendly Van Nuys suburb. Tommy’s put a lot of work into it. Maybe not the same way Buck would have, if he owned a house, but he can still appreciate what his boyfriend has prioritized. The eat-in kitchen is still very 90s, with golden oak cabinets and a tiled backsplash in a pale dusty rose, but the appliances are newer. The bedrooms are done up in warm tones, and the living room is dominated by a massive sectional and a giant TV. Most of the furniture is secondhand, worn and scratched, but well taken care of. 

Buck likes to call the house cozy, just to see Tommy smile. 

The backyard and garage have had more effort put in. There's the brickwork patio Tommy laid himself, a nice BBQ setup that even Bobby would be jealous of, and a couple of mature sycamore trees dotted around. Tommy told him how he ripped all the sod out years ago, and spent a few incredibly sweaty days planting frogfruit starters for groundcover. Now the lawn is lush, and fully native. The fences are edged with hardy, drought-friendly perennials and long grasses. 

The garage is a snapshot into Tommy’s hobbies. One half is mostly taken up by Tommy’s car lift, a long stainless steel work bench with half a dozen projects in various states of completion, and two giant Stanley tool chests. The other side has Tommy's home gym setup, including a few different pieces of equipment, and a clear area with mats for sparing. 

He takes his time getting going. It's a peaceful morning, and although Tommy has a shift in a few hours, Buck doesn't have anywhere to be until 8:00 am tomorrow. One of the hazards of dating another first responder is the conflicting schedules, so being able to lock the house up behind him when he has to leave at ass-o’clock in the morning has been great. Tommy told him the code to the garage door a few weeks ago. 

The knowledge that he’s welcome in Tommy’s space makes something warm curl in his belly.

There’s a pot of coffee waiting for him when he makes his way to the kitchen, and the pre-workout mix and protein powder sitting on the counter gives a clue as to where his wayward boyfriend is. He pours a mug, slips on a pair of slides, and enters the garage. 

The big door is lifted about a foot, showing a strip of sun-drenched driveway on the other side. There’s music playing, some guitar-heavy ‘Dad Rock’ Buck will mock him for later. Tommy notices his entrance, giving him a quick grin before finishing his rep. Buck opens his mouth to say good morning, but gets stuck. He just woke up, so he’ll blame the goofy record-scratch sound effect he imagines on his half-asleep brain. 

Tommy’s doing bicep curls, dressed in that damned grey sleeveless hoodie and a pair of baggy athletic shorts. That shirt haunts Buck. He flashes back to that fateful basketball game, when he was so jealous. Desperate for something he couldn’t even name. Naturally, Tommy’s worn it since, and every time Buck has a visceral, gut-deep reaction. More than once, it’s ended with them tangled up together, in bed, on the couch, on the floor, or the backseat of one of their cars. Once, on Buck’s dining room table. Nothing between them but sweat. The fact that he’s wearing it now, when he knew Evan would be up soon, sends a shiver racing up his spine, despite the heat in the garage. 

Tommy exhales, lowering his arms and moving towards the weight rack. The gaping arm hole offers a tantalizing glimpse of skin as he re-racks the dumbells.

“Morning baby. How’d you sleep?” 

Buck forces his attention away from Tommy’s chest and back up to his face. The smirk that’s waiting tells him his staring was not subtle. He takes a sip of his coffee. His ears feel hot. “G-good morning. I slept great. I was just going to start breakfast. Any requests?”

“Whatever you feel like making sounds good to me. I’m almost done. Just going to use the bench and then cooldown.” Sweat makes one curl stick to his forehead. 

This Clark Kent looking motherfucker.

Buck carefully sets his mug down. “You want a spotter?” He’s holding onto his pokerface by the skin of his teeth. Sure, he wants to make sure his boyfriend is exercising safely, but damn, he also wants to ogle. Tommy quirks an eyebrow. His teeth flash when he smiles.

“Sure. Help me load the plates?”

Some 250lbs of steel later, Tommy is laid out on the bench and gripping the bar. He looks up at Buck, hovering needlessly close, and hums thoughtfully. He releases the bar, sits up, and grabs the hem of his hoodie. He pulls it off in one smooth move, before balling it up and throwing it towards the door. For the second time in five minutes, Buck’s brain fuzzes out, TV static replacing every thought that isn't TommyTommyTommy. All that pale olive skin is on display, shiny with sweat, making Tommy’s chest hair curl in the humidity. Tommy lays back down, muscles rippling as he settles and rolls his shoulders. Buck’s gaze chases that tempting happy trail, leading under the damp waistband of Tommy’s shorts. 

“Evan, you good?” Tommy grabs the bar again.

Buck has to swallow, or risk drooling on his boyfriends grinning face. Not fair. Ah, fuck it. 

“No. I am not good.”

He swoops down, pressing his lips to Tommy’s upside down, but too desperate to care about circling around the bench. One hand lands on top of Tommy’s where it's still wrapped around the bar, but his other dances down that broad chest, tweaking a nipple to make Tommy jump. It’s a little strange, kissing like this. But it’s Tommy. Tommy’s mouth, Tommy’s stubble, Tommy’s tongue meeting his and deepening the kiss. It's so easy to get lost in it. 

Eventually, they have to breathe. Tommy’s other hand has wound into his curls, keeping him close. His voice is low, a promise that settles deep in Buck’s core, “If I didn’t have a shift…”

Buck hums in agreement, pressing a smacking kiss to Tommy’s forehead. He straightens up, and smiles down at his boyfriend. There’s a flush across his lovely cheekbones and stubble burn on his upper lip. They both stare at each other for a minute, cooling down.

“So, pancakes?” 

[inubaki]

The Sea Queen

Stages of grief

—-

an amazing commission by @libby-for-life!! I’m both guilty for always running to her for works, but she just breaths such life into my silly ideas. Please check her out if you’d like one. ———

Adam stood by the cave window, his heart heavy as he gazed at his children, a blend of emotions swirling within him. His lips formed a tight smile that failed to reach his eyes, mirroring the conflicting thoughts crowding his mind. Before him were his adorable offspring, each one a miniature Kraken, their skin glistening with vibrant hues of teal and deep purple, and their tentacles elegantly drifting through the water as they played. They had inherited their father Lucifer’s enchanting features, yet all Adam could feel was a surge of unease. 

These were his children, undeniably a part of him, and the reality of their existence weighed heavily on his conscience. He couldn't escape the guilt gnawing at him—why didn't he love them more, cherish them as any mother should? Instead, their very presence brought forth waves of anger that crashed against his heart, a visceral response not just to their existence but also to the man who had helped create them. 

Lucifer loomed in the shadows of his thoughts, a tempest of unresolved emotions. Adam's chest tightened as he wrestled with his feelings toward his partner, the darkness that seemed to seep into their lives, and how it colored his interactions with the children. They were innocent, yet every gurgle of laughter and swish of a tentacle reminded him of the bond he shared with Lucifer—one that he was struggling to accept. In that moment, Adam felt trapped between love and resentment, searching for a way to embrace what was undeniably his, even if he felt unworthy.

"Momma! Look what I can do!" Cain exclaimed, his sharp-toothed smile illuminating his face with a mixture of mischief and pride. Adam leaned back by the cave wall, hair tousled by the gentle water, as he watched his son perform daring flips in the shimmering blue sea, the sunlight dancing off the surface like shards of glass. Cain's tentacles swirled around him, creating playful whirlpools that disrupted the mirror-like expanse of the ocean. 

Adam struggled to suppress his concerns, forcing a cheerful smile as he called, "That's great, baby!" The words came out sweeter than honey, but inside, he was wrestling with a storm of thoughts. Cain beamed with joy, oblivious to the trepidation swirling in his mother's mind; to him, this moment of freedom was everything.

Every fleeting glance and lingering moment of eye contact brought Adam back to the piercing gaze of Lucifer, that unsettling familiarity sending shivers down his spine. It was a reminder of a darkness he couldn't shake, one that made him want to retreat from the very presence of his own children. Each time that urge rose within him, guilt would wash over him like a cold wave. He loved his children—there was no doubt about that. Their laughter filled the cave, their innocence a light amid his turmoil. Yet, buried deep within, a shadow loomed; a part of him harbored the impossible wish that they had never been born. If they hadn't come into his life, everything would be simpler, the weight of motherhood a burden he wouldn't have to bear. The guilt throbbed in his chest, mingling with a longing for peace over the chaos that seemed to follow him.

"Momma? You okay?" A small voice broke the silence, and Adam glanced down to find his second-born son, Abel, gazing up at him with wide, innocent eyes. The afternoon sunlight filtered through the water, casting gentle shadows across the lush of his face where Abel stood. Despite his tender age, Abel possessed an uncanny ability to sense when something was off and when the world felt heavy with unspoken burdens. 

As their eyes met, Adam couldn’t shake the eerie familiarity; in Abel’s bright, curious gaze, he saw the striking red eyes of Lucifer and Adam felt an ache in his chest, a swirl of emotions he struggled to articulate and— "I'm okay, baby. Go on and play," he said, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

Abel tilted his head, skepticism etched across his innocent face, though he ultimately chose to obey his mother’s gentle nudge. With a reluctant step back, he swam off toward his siblings, the sound of his laughter mingling with the water—a temporary balm for Adam's troubled heart.

He let out a weary sigh, the weight of his responsibilities pressing down on him, before he turned his attention to preparing lunch. Gathering the remainder of the fish he had skillfully caught that morning, he inspected each fillet with meticulous care, ensuring that no stray bones were left behind — a precaution he took so his children could enjoy their meal without worry. 

As he worked, he cast a glance at his lively Kraken offspring, who splashed and giggled nearby. How many did he have now? Six? No, maybe eight? Adam found it increasingly challenging to keep track of their myriad colors and personalities as they darted around, full of energy. He could already hear Lucifer, ever the enthusiastic one, chattering about wanting to add to more— 

But he quickly shook his head, pushing that generous thought aside. Not now, he reminded himself — he had lunch to finish. He focused on the task at hand, hoping to create a meal that would nourish both body and spirit, encapsulating the love he felt for his unique brood.

As he carefully set down the last shimmering fish, Abel burst into the sea cave, panic etched across his face, and his tentacles thrashing wildly in his distress. "Abel? Baby? What's wrong?" Adam asked, his voice filled with concern. Abel took a deep, shaky breath, his gills flaring in agitation. "Cain is gone!" 

Adam felt his heart stop for a moment, a cold rush of dread washing over him. Gone? What did he mean by gone?! Hadn't they all been playing together just moments ago, their laughter echoing through the watery halls of their home? He took a quick, frantic scan of his children, and Abel was right—Cain was nowhere to be seen. 

"Stay here with your siblings!" Adam ordered firmly, urgency tightening his tone as he propelled himself out of their cozy sea cave, the familiar moss-covered stones slipping behind him. His mind raced as he swam through the vibrant luminescent garden outside, eyes darting around in search of his lost son. Where could he have gone? 

“Cain?! Where are you?!” Adam screamed, his voice trembling with panic and desperation. The cold, dark waters of the deep sea surrounded him, each current crashing against him like a reminder of his worst fears. “Please answer me, Momma’s calling!” His heart raced as he frantically swam, straining his eyes to pierce through the murky depths in search of his beloved Kraken child. 

“CAIN!” he cried out, the sound echoing in the vast expanse of the ocean. Memories flooded his mind—how carefree Cain had once been, gliding through the water, his laughter like music in the salty air. “PLEASE, JUST ANSWER ME!” The weight of regret pressed down on Adam like the crushing water around him. Why hadn’t he watched more closely? Why hadn’t he wrapped his arms around Cain more often, ensuring he felt safe and loved? 

‘You selfish creature. You let Cain wander. And you call yourself a mother?’ A haunting voice whispered in his mind, filling him with guilt and anguish as he continued his desperate search. “CAIN!” he shouted again, his voice cracking, tears mingling with the saltwater as he fought to stay afloat in a sea of despair.

"MOMMA!" A familiar voice pierced through the murky depths, and Adam's head snapped towards the sound faster than he thought possible. His heart raced as he recognized that voice—Cain! Panic fueled his urgency as he propelled himself through the dark water, desperation guiding his every movement. 

"CAIN!" he shouted, his voice echoing in the watery expanse as he followed his child's distress. The ocean around him felt cold and unforgiving, but nothing could deter his determination. 

Then, his heart sank as he spotted the horrific scene unfolding before him. Cain was ensnared in a thick, tangled net, struggling helplessly against its grips. The net was tightening around him, gradually being reeled in toward a looming ship that cast a shadow over them like an ominous predator. Cain's loud cries for help were muffled by the water, but Adam could feel their weight, a desperate plea that shattered his composure. 

His body froze for a moment, the terror of the situation clouding his mind. It was only when he saw his child’s small limbs—tentacles writhing in a frantic attempt to escape—that he snapped out of his trance. 

"CAIN! MOMMA'S COMING!" he shouted, his voice filled with fierce determination as he surged upward, propelled by the primal instinct to rescue his child from the grasp of the unknown.

"MOMMA! MOMMA!" Cain cried, his small hand reaching out through the tangled fibers of the net that ensnared him, eyes wide with a mix of fear and relief as he caught sight of Adam. The moment Adam saw him, a rush of determination surged through him. He swam forward, his heart pounding, and began tearing at the net with frantic urgency, desperate to free his child before the dark silhouette of the looming ship swallowed him whole. 

"Momma, I'm scared..." Cain whispered, his voice trembling as he peered through the gaps in the net, and Adam's heart shattered at the sound of his son’s quaking voice. The sight of Cain’s small, vulnerable figure encased in the coarse mesh twisted painfully in Adam's chest, igniting a fierce resolve to rescue him from this nightmare.

These nets...they were designed to capture Krakens...made to shred through skin...

"Don't worry, baby. Momma’s got you." Adam said as he began to tear at the net, ignoring how it tore through his sensitive skin as worked on freeing Cain. He didn't have a lot of time. If these sailors were like anything he had ever seen, they wouldn't see Cain and think of a child. They would see a monster and they would kill him. Adam knew what they were like. He knew because Adam had done the same thing.

With a brutal cry, Adam ripped open the nest, his mangled hands grabbing onto Cain as he rushed away from the ship. He didn't want to be around when the owner of the ship saw that their net was now empty. Adam didn't stop swimming away until they were in the deepest part of the ocean. Cain just hugged his Momma closer, trying to get himself to stop crying.

"Baby...sh...see? You're going to be okay." Adam said as he looked over Cain. He was covered in small cuts from his tanglement in the net and Adam let out a choked sob once he saw his tentacles, knotted and writhing in pain. Adam immediately got to work on gently untangling his tentacles, Cain occasionally sniffling when their was a particularly stubborn knot.

He gently cradled Cain in his arms, swimming with the utmost care toward their secluded underwater cave, where shimmering fish darted about in the gentle currents. As they glided through the water, Adam noticed dim swirls of light filtering through the surface, casting a warm glow around them. Back at the cave, his siblings had already devoured the delicious fish Adam had prepared earlier, but they thoughtfully left a small portion for Cain, a gesture that warmed Adam's heart more than he could express.

Once safely inside the cave, Adam placed Cain on a soft bed of seaweed and coral, arranged just for him, and sighed deeply as he looked down at his tiny baby. Cain's big red eyes sparkled with a mix of sleepiness and affection, gazing up at his mother. "I knew you'd come for me..." he whispered, his voice barely above a breath.

Caught off guard, Adam halted for a moment, his heart catching in his throat. "What?" he replied, his voice filled with surprise.

"Because you love me..." Cain murmured, his eyelids fluttering as if he were drifting into sleep. At that moment, Adam felt a tidal wave of emotion wash over him. Love? He had struggled to show his children the depth of his feelings, but now, as he looked at his dear son, he realized he wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

"That's right, Cain." Adam whispered softly, leaning down to press a tender kiss against his cheek, feeling the warmth of his little body against him. "Momma loves you." The words broke free from his heart, carrying with them a promise to cherish and protect his son always. "Momma always will.”

XxX

Lucifer sighed deeply as he glided through the shimmering waters of his underwater realm, the vibrant luminescent corals guiding his path to the cave he called home. The bioluminescent flora pulsed gently with hues of blue and green, casting an ethereal glow that danced across his sleek body. He had been tirelessly spreading the word of the Sea's new Queen, working diligently to ensure hid reign was acknowledged. However, some stubborn creatures remained resistant, and he felt the familiar weight of his responsibilities; a harsh reminder was sometimes necessary to reaffirm why he held the title of King of the Deep.

With each powerful stroke of his massive tentacles, he propelled himself forward, their movements both graceful and formidable. His keen eyes scanned the surroundings, instinctively searching for his wife and children. The thought of them brought him solace and warmth, a comfort that eased the burden of his royal duties. His babies, their laughter and playful curiosity always filled the cave with joy, transforming it into a sanctuary amidst the chaos of the ocean.

“Adam?” Lucifer called out, his voice echoing softly in the underwater cavern. “Dear? I'm home.” Silence enveloped him, thick and unsettling. For a fleeting moment, a wave of panic washed over Lucifer, and he feared that they might have left him. However, he quickly calmed himself as he glided into the children’s cave bedroom. 

The scene before him was a heartwarming sight. Nestled in a cozy nest of shimmering coral and lush, verdant seaweed, Adam lay sleeping peacefully, surrounded by their children. Each little one was entwined in soft blankets woven from delicate strands of kelp, their gentle breaths creating tiny bubbles that floated to the surface. A warm glow emanated from bioluminescent corals lining the walls, casting a magical light over the sleeping family. Lucifer couldn’t suppress a smile at this serene tableau as he gracefully swam closer, his heart swelling with love and contentment at the sight of them all safe and sound.

He gently glided through the cool, dark water, his sleek body effortlessly navigating toward the bed of soft seaweed nestled in the corner of the cave. As he settled in, the moonlight filtered through the cave's entrance, casting a serene glow around him. His fangs glinted softly, a reminder of his fierce nature, yet all that was evident now was the tenderness he embodied as he pulled Adam closer, cradling him against his warm, scaled chest while he slept. 

Adam, his beautiful wife, was truly a sight to behold, his delicate features illuminated by the shimmering light. He looked even more radiant when he was surrounded by their children, who would play joyfully in the background, laughter echoing throughout the cave as they splashed in the water. It filled him with pride to see Adam showing them love and affection like this.

“Oh, Adam...I always knew you’d eventually see things my way…” he whispered softly, a smile playing on his lips as he felt the warmth of his family enveloping him. With a sense of peace washing over him, he closed his eyes, succumbing to slumber, surrounded by the tender chaos of his children—a perfect life captured in this enchanting sea cave.

—————-

Pervs:

I’m… so tired. Work has me up at 12am… I want to draw to destress… and I’m too tired to move. But if I sleep… what if I sleep the whole day away…?

So.. I’m sorry if my arts sucks a bit. I’ll do better next time!

@adamsapple-angst-week-2025

(but now I have jealously, day 6 and day 7 to do!