#and even THEN thats not even a full 1/2% of ‘ myself/my selves/etc ‘. and most don’t even know THAT much
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When I’m socializing with others ( mainly online ), I’m this weird mixture of:
“ Please don’t get mad at me, I like you and I don’t want to hurt you/your feelings “
And:
“ I’d literally prefer isolating myself for weeks than have to spend 5 more minutes with you “
#vent#tw vent#vent 4/11/23#I’m not diagnosed and 99.9% sure I have BPD and schizoid#and so the top would be my bpd reaction and bottom would be schizoid#I’m still pissed that my psychiatrist kept asserting to me ( almost in an arrogant way but also differently too ) that you CANNOT have#schizoid AND bpd at the same time. because it’s ‘ contradictory ‘#and..? lots of contradictory things happen in life/death/existence/etc. and you can deny them all you want but they still happen/are/etc#I know myself 100% more/better than you do and I know my experiences/reactions/etc#no I’m not saying I 100% know EVERY part of myself. I’m just saying to my psychiatrist that. in pretty much 99.9 percent of the areas in my#life/non existence/existence/death/etc. I’d know better than she does. she only ‘ knows ‘ me on a surface level#and even THEN thats not even a full 1/2% of ‘ myself/my selves/etc ‘. and most don’t even know THAT much#tw psychiatrist#idk I’m just pissed about this fucking ‘ selves/forms/lacking/etc ‘ that goes on because#or not because/etc#tw existential angst#tw existential dread#tw existential bullshit#tw existential crisis#tw simulation#tw unreality#tw alternate reality#tw realities#tw reality
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