#and dorcas was the one in charge of it (marlene also said about wanting to change her last name to Meadowes)

[enbysiriusblack]

what i think is written on the marauders graves:

regulus: Regulus Arcturus Black, 1961-1979

marlene: Marlene Meadowes, "may you sleep on your tender girlfriend's breasts" 1960-1981

dorcas: Dorcas Meadowes, a good soldier 1960-1981

james: James F. Potter, loving father and husband 1960-1981

lily: Lily J. Potter, loving mother and wife 1960-1981

sirius: Sirius B. "Time is but a paper moon, Teo Torriatte", 1959-1996

peter: Peter Pettigrew, 1959-1998

remus: Remus J. Lupin, friend and mentor to many, "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars", 1960-1998

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 47

chapter 72:

1. “The day of Marlene's memorial is the first time Dorcas decides she's going to kill herself.” oh shit, oh fuck wait

2. bro dorcas is unwell. like holy shit. i forget that the war started because of dorcas’ love for marlene. like. this is just as much of a dorlene fic too

3. dear god i wanna help dorcas so badly

4. call it instinct, but i knew dorcas’ hair would be a crucial part of her healing journey 💃🏼💃🏼

5. i love well rounded female characters but at what cost. dorcas is well rounded but at what cost? she’s suffering and it hurts to read

6. god damn. finding out that dorcas’ mom was in charge of a quarterly quell is fucking insane. considering that dorcas all but ran the resistance

7. “”You said it first, didn't you? There are no good people in war. I lived by those words, did you know that? All that you were wrong about, but that…" She gives a brittle laugh. "You were right about that."”

foaming at the mouth oh my god. i wanna chomp glass

8. DORCAS NO! (she started drinking fyi)

9. dear god dorcas, you aren’t the only one who knew the “real” marlene. people other than you loved her.

10. dorcas finally admitting that if she could choose someone other than dorcas it would be lily hurts. especially since lily has mary.

11. “Marlene was the love of her life, and that's it. Simple as that. She'll never love another.” OWWWWW

12. “She will make sure Lily never knows that Dorcas looks at her now and thinks before this life, it could have been us; maybe in some other life, it is. And that's more than enough.”

DNDNSMMSJSKEJNS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

13. brb i’m sobbing

okay i’m back. dorcas just found out marlene was gonna propose and now i’m a sniveling mess

14. so much thanks to bizzarestars making the effort to learn about the way war vets healed and dealt with ptsd

chapter 73:

1. sirius having an emotional support dog >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2. also imma make predictions now: this is the chapter where sirius goes home. it’s time

3. YES YES YES YES THEYRE GOING HOME FUCK YEAH

4. “A homely little home with a porch-swing under the stars. Sirius is homesick for that, too.”

this is my dream too. like it’s been my dream for so long. i can’t even fathom how sirius isn’t bawling like a baby over this. IM bawling like a baby over THEIR porch swing

5. regulus saw sirius and was willing to risk it all just to hug him omg

6. “Barty was the sort of person who needed no outside guidance into being a bit insane.” LMAOOOOOO

7. they’re running a business together and they’re gonna do it forever and now i want to gnaw on wood and glass and plastic and anything i can get my hands on

8. lmao not sirius sitting like a spoiled puppy dog as james and regulus argue over him for the wedding

9. “"Oh, please," James scoffs, rolling his eyes. "One, I'm not stealing your brother away from you, and you know it. Two, who the fuck else would be my best man, hm? Who? Go on."

"Oh, you want to go there?!" Regulus shouts. "What about me? Yeah, didn't think about that, did you? My best friend is dead. Oh, and so is Barty. Who do I have, James? Hm?"”

FUCKING CACKLING

10. awwwww sirius’ compromise is so sweet omg. i’d literally cry if i was james and regulus

11. ugh gay people are so confusing. like you’re allowed to be freinds with the same people and freinds with any gender. so like, it makes wedding planning so hard. who goes on who’s side? what if i said that when i found out about gay people, my biggest hold up wasn’t religion or anything like that, but instead wedding side logistics

12. canonical genderqueer tonks!!!!!!!!!

13. regulus went to aberforth to cause a scene, and damn if he didn’t succeed

14. damn they’re both stubborn. and both got their way jfc

15. full circle. dorcas is designing their wedding clothes. i’m losing my mind, actually

16. the bookshelf. the fucking bookshelf from the first arena. i’m losing my mind oh my god

17. CACKLING OMG. REGULUS WAS WORRIED THAT JAMES WOULD BE SCARED OF THE DAGGERS, BUT INSTEAD HE GOT SO FUCKING TURNED ON OMG

18. STILL FUCKING CACKLING OMG

19. i didn’t know i needed insecure james, but oh i did

20. i get to read the crimson rivers jegulus wedding and oh my fucking god i’m losing it. i am so unbelievably happy

21. “For him, it's easiest to show love when it's a tragedy.”

dksjdjjsjdjsmdjske holy shit

22. “You're hesitating, love."”

AHDHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

23. “You might wish to know a lot of things about their wedding, and their love, but frankly, it's no one's business but theirs.” so feral over this. that’s literally one of the biggest themes of the story omg i love this

24. hi, anyways, i am so unwell

25. the authors notes about the wedding are golden

[jimblejamblewritings]

riddle means misery | part 8.

Summary: Y/N Riddle. Not much more has to be said. Everyone hates her. She’s evil... she has to be.

Warnings for the Series: 18+, this series is dark. Manipulation, dubcon verging on noncon, abuse of power, violence, ed mentions, death, blood

Pairing: Bill Weasley x black!reader (semi-slowburn)

Word Count: 3.0k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

The memories ended shortly after showing your brief freedom before you were taken to St. Barney’s. Slowly, you pulled your hand out of the pensieve. Your hand moved to scratch at the Dark Mark on your other arm. Amelia Bones pulled up multiple folders. 

“I would like to call in all Aurors with shifts at Azkaban during the years Y/N Riddle was there. I would also like to motion the Ministry for an internal investigation regarding the misconduct of her first case. And Ms. Riddle?”

Your scratching stopped and your gaze moved from the floor to Amelia. She looked at you with eyes full of pity— it wasn’t missed on anyone how your leg wouldn’t stop bouncing the entire time or the hand outside the pensieve that hadn’t stopped shaking since you sat down.   

“It appears.” Amelia’s voice cracked. “There’s been a mistake. We’ll be exonerating you of all crimes. Seeing as there are also no other charges, you are free to go. I would like it to be noted that compensation for time spent in Azkaban will be given. The Riddle vault will be unfrozen and you have full use of your Gringotts account. We’ll be stripping Peter Pettigrew of any awards he had received posthumously when he was thought to be dead and I want a search for him starting tomorrow. 

“Public corrections will be made about Ms. Riddle. No one will be monitoring spell use, any tracking of whereabouts is gone. On behalf of the entire Ministry, we apologize for the mistake and ordeal you must have been put through. You are free to leave. Auror Moody, please remove the enchantments from Ms. Riddle’s wand and take her home.”

You just sat in the chair when Moody handed you your wand back. He looked back at Amelia and Fudge when you didn’t move. 

“Ms. Riddle, you can leave.” 

“Are the dementors still at Hogwarts?” 

“Uh, yes, yes, you’re right. They will be notified to return to Azkaban but they never go immediately… Does anyone know if there are rooms available above the Leaky Cauldron on such short notice? Just for a day or two until every dementor has left?”

Bill stepped up to stand next to Moody. “She can come with Mad-Eye and I, there’s room somewhere at the Burrow. Is that alright with you, Ms. Riddle?” 

You finally stood up from the chair. Moody and Bill were careful not to stand too close to you on either side so you wouldn’t feel trapped. Moody went first to make sure everyone knew what was happening. Bill handed you the jar with Floo Powder in it and told you to just say The Burrow. You just stood right in front of the fireplace until Bill tumbled out of it. He patted you on the shoulder, apologizing when you jumped. 

“Make yourself at home.” 

Everyone was gathered in the dining room/kitchen to try and give you space. The openness of the Burrow only allowed for so much space to be given but they tried. They watched you shuffle to a worn-out fluffy armchair near the window. You had noticed them. You just didn’t say anything but it was hard not to see them. There were more people than you expected. You thought it would be just the Weasleys and Moody. 

But there were a lot of familiar faces. Marlene and her wife, Dorcas and hers, Sirius, Remus, the Potters, and the Longbottoms. As well as other friends whose names you couldn’t remember or faces you weren’t sure if you had met. Hermione was also there after celebrating Christmas early with her parents so she could be there. 

Bill set down some butterbeer and Christmas cookies on the tiny table next to your chair. He moved back to the kitchen where everyone was trying to eat. They kept glancing over at you. It was almost frightening how still you could be. You just rested your head on your knees, hugging yourself, and stared out the window. But you hadn’t moved once. You didn’t even reach back for the warm butterbeer that was now cooling. It was snowing. You stared at the snowmen that the children had made outside. Christmas was the day after tomorrow. You lifted your head up. You got a Christmas present as far as you were concerned. Someone finally listened to you.  

Frank Longbottom was the next one to look at you. “She’s crying.” 

Everyone looked over to see exactly what he was talking about. He was right. There were fresh tear stains running down your face. You were also shivering like crazy. All of the guests watched you scratched at your arm where the Dark Mark was hidden under your shirt sleeve. Ginny got up from the table, Bill following. He was the Auror that Ginny had given the diary to, only trusting her cool oldest brother to handle it. That was the start of Bill looking at everything with a bit of questioning before your trial had even started. Because why would you have let his sister go if you were working with your father? Bill grabbed some of his stuff and a quilt. He came back out to hand it to you at the same time that Ginny came back with your butterbeer that she warmed and put directly into your hand. 

“Here’s a blanket and some old pajamas of mine if you want to change… We don’t have any guest rooms left so you can take my room. I’ll take the couch.” 

You shook your head. 

“No? Do you want the couch?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay.”

Bill walked away to go back to the table. You sipped on the butterbeer until it was finished. Conversations stopped once again when you started to get up from the chair. All of your bones cracked to alert of your presence as you walked upstairs to where Bill had pointed out one of the bathrooms. 

“Does she always move so slow?” 

They heard the shower start. Tonks knocked on the table. 

“Okay, kids, out. Go find a room and hang out in it. Adults are talking.” 

The children all protested but did as they were told. 

“You’re all disgusting,” Tonks spoke up when they were gone. 

“We know,” Sirius said.

Tonks’ hair was going through an array of colors. No one even made a protest at her very long rant. They agreed with what she said about apologizing and asking forgiveness— begging because Tonks insisted that if she had gone through what you went through it would take years for her to be able to forgive them. They might be lucky and not take as long to be forgiven because you were so affected by Azkaban. She only stopped when you came back downstairs. You yawned and sat on the couch. Everyone quickly scrambled to go to their respective rooms and let you sleep. 

A scream so loud that it echoed through the house garnered everyone’s attention. The entirety of the Burrow came downstairs, slowly at first but quickly once they realized the sound was coming from inside the house. 

“I didn’t do it!” you yelled. “I didn’t kill anyone, please, I didn’t do it!” 

Despite being in the throes of a nightmare, you were still a light sleeper. Your eyes suddenly opened and you scrambled up against the couch when Harry’s knee so much as hit against the couch. He pulled back, both hands up in surrender. You were shaking like a leaf. The moment you recognized Harry you practically leapt off the couch. You shook your head looking at James.

“I didn’t go near him. I swear I didn’t.” 

You started to run when James tried to approach you. 

“Shit,” he muttered before throwing open the front door to chase after you. “Y/N, wait!” 

You didn’t know where you were going but you just couldn’t let James catch you. You were practically forced to slow down when you fell in the middle of the dirt road. James was breathing heavily by the time he caught up to you. You were quicker than expected and had gotten surprisingly far. He went to help you up. You were thrashing around when he held you. James stayed holding onto you despite you hitting at his arms. 

“Y/N, I’m so—”

“I didn’t touch him. I swear, James, I didn’t go near him. I di—”

“Y/N! I’m not going to hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have never threatened you. I’m sorry.” 

James rocked the two of you back and forth until you were no longer panicking. He helped you to your feet, keeping a hold on you for support. James kept apologizing as you walked back to the Burrow. Not just for threatening you about Harry but for everything over the years. 

Everyone breathed out relief at seeing you come back inside. You went back to the armchair instead of the couch. Molly shook her head and ushered all the children back upstairs when Ginny tried to approach you. You didn’t go to sleep for the rest of the night. Bill nearly jumped out his skin seeing you still sitting in the chair in the morning. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “For last night.” 

“Nothing to be sorry for. Do you want breakfast?”

You got up and went into the kitchen. Bill was going to ask what you wanted to eat but you just stood behind him. He made quick work of pouring you a bowl of cereal and putting it in your hands. 

“Can I go eat outside?”

Bill’s eyebrows darted up. “You want to be out there? It’s freezing, that’s crazy.” 

You frowned and sat at the table. Bill stumbled over his words. He forgot there was a thing about you asking for stuff.  

“Y-you can go, I didn’t mea— I was just surprised because of the snow.” 

You took your cereal and stood up to leave. Some of the other adults saw the door close as they came downstairs. They noticed you walked out without any preparation. No shoes, no coat, no blanket, not even a scarf. Just the borrowed clothes and socks from Bill and the bowl of cereal. You sat on the little stone wall to eat. They watched you shiver but refuse to leave. A frown graced Dorcas’ face. 

“She’s gonna make herself sick.”

You hopped off the little wall, empty bowl still in hand. Your socks were getting soaked from all the snow. Everyone acted like they hadn’t been watching you through the window when you came back inside. Like they expected, you sat back down in the corner armchair. Anyone else would have been bothered by the wet clothes. You were as well but you were so conditioned to just accept it. Prison gowns didn’t get daily changings. Your feet tapped the ground in a mindless pattern. Leaning over the small table, you started to scratch at it with your fingernail. 

Breakfast happened around you. Nodding along, you enjoyed the sounds of everyone eating and talking. Silence wasn’t something that brought you comfort anymore. They all looked over when they heard your gasp. You pulled your hand away from the table like it was on fire. The table wasn’t yours and you scratched two tally marks in it. Your eyes darted back and forth as you thought about all the tally marks in Hogwarts. None of the property was yours. Why would you do that was the only thought running in your head. You patted the table as if that would fix the problem before remembering you had a wand. You hadn’t done magic in a while. 

Naturally, it didn’t work. Panic set in when the table couldn’t be fixed. You kept trying, needing it to work. Molly left the table to come over to you. She put on an extra forced and cheery smile as she assured you it was an easy fix. The wood cleared up, good as new. 

“Do you want a change of clothes, Y/N?” 

“I’m okay.” 

“Al-alright. We’re building gingerbread houses, if you want to join.”

You followed her to the table where they made room for you. Your lack of magic was even more obvious when you were the only one putting the house together like a muggle. It became a hyperfixation. Everyone else’s were simple little cottages with enchanted gingerbread people that would dance. Yours was becoming a highly decorated mansion. Each piece of candy was carefully picked out and placed onto the house. Everyone was starting to leave the table to do other things and you were still there. 

Hours later, you finished the tiled roof of the gingerbread house. Occasionally, whoever came into the kitchen would duplicate the icing, candy, or gingerbread so you could have more. You only got up once to use the bathroom, pausing to stare at the bag of yarn for Mrs. Weasley’s knitting.  

You slowly left the safety of the table when you were completely finished to go back to the couch. Everyone was surprised that you were able to get any sleep. You were sleeping like the dead. James actually checked on you to make sure you weren’t dead. Like the other night, you woke up screaming until you just passed out again. You didn’t wake up again until the next morning. The kids were playing a card game right in front of the couch while adults were talking and drinking. Christmas carols that you hadn’t heard in forever were playing on the radio. Tonks was the first one to sit next to you when she noticed you had woken up.  

“Happy Christmas.” 

A closed basket was shoved into your arms. You looked down at it with confusion. Tonks informed you that everyone picked up some stuff. When you didn’t move to open it, she dropped the matter and went to talk with everyone else. You moved back to the armchair. Christmas happened around you. Guests started to leave until it was just the Weasleys and the Marauders’ families left. You almost missed the Longbottoms saying goodbye to everyone on your way upstairs to take a shower— after asking. The only thing you didn’t ask for was to use the bathroom due to St. Barney’s having the toilet inside your cell. 

You turned on the lamp next to the chair now that it was dark outside. The basket from earlier was sitting at your feet. You picked it up, finally taking a peek inside. There were lots of letters sitting on top of the gifts underneath. You would read those later. There were lots of little trinkets and goodies inside. Your hands gingerly picked up a mug. It was the same as the self-heating one you had dropped during the altercation with James. Actually, all of your things that you had dropped were replaced and put in the basket. Except for the niffler plushie.   

“Y/N, can we talk to you?” 

You looked up to see the Marauders— plus Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas— standing on the bottom step of the staircase. Guilt was very evident on their faces. They didn’t move right away. They let you assess them and come up with whatever conclusion you wanted. They knew they deserved the mistrust and anger they thought was on your face. You nodded slowly. Everyone sat down on the floor in front of the armchair so they wouldn’t be standing over you. You were stroking the sides of the self-heating mug. James started to stand up. 

“Do you want something to drink?” 

He took the mug from you and went to the kitchen to prepare tea. You took the mug from his hands when he came back with lots of care, trying to avoid touching his hand. Marlene grabbed the blanket from the couch to hand to you when you started shivering. Sirius sat up a bit straighter. 

“We shouldn’t have ever said or done those things to you. You never did anything wrong to anybody and whatever sort of justice we thought we were carrying out was disgusting beyond belief. And I’m so sorry that I ever even found it remotely okay.” 

James put his hand on your blanket covered knees. “Y/N, we’re so fucking sorry for everything. You shouldn’t have been tormented. We shouldn’t have taken advantage of you when you wanted safety and we damn sure shouldn’t have tossed you back to the wolves.”

They all agreed. Seeing everything from your perspective made them sick. Many times during your trial, they wanted to stop watching. Honestly, they had forgotten so much of what they had done. You were evil and thrown in Azkaban so why would they remember anything about you? 

You listened to each one of them apologize. They each gave very long speeches that seemed very thought out. Remus sighed. 

“We’re asking for your forgiveness but we don’t expect it. It wouldn’t be a surprise if you were angry at us until the end of time—”

You stopped looking at the tea you hadn’t drunk to shake your head.

“I’m not angry, I was never angry.” 

“You’re not?” 

You took a deep breath. “I was scared. I am scared… of everyone.” 

Everyone looks down at their hands in their laps. They were the reason. You didn’t have a single person to truly support you. Even the Death Eater posse turned real Death Eaters were only around because they were kissing up to your father. 

“Y/N,” Lily started. “If we can help you in any way, even a way we aren’t thinking of, please tell us.” 

You nodded. “You bought the mug, didn’t you, James?” 

“I looked in the bag you had dropped and saw it was broken… Again, about what I did, I’m so sorr—”

“Please don’t. No one means sorry. People used to say sorry I was in the way of their spells. Those Aurors said sorry every time they fucked me. When people say sorry that means it’s my fault… It’s always my fault.” 

“Absolutely nothing is your fault. I won’t say sorry anymore, okay? I’ll just show you. I won’t ever hurt you again, I won’t let anything hurt you either.” 

They echoed James’ sentiments. You nodded and finally took a sip of the still hot tea. You weren’t sure if you believed them. You didn’t really believe anyone’s words anymore.

(part 9)

FIC TAGLIST:

@thirsty4nonlivingmen​

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@venomsvl @peaches-n-sunscreen @summerellaz @supernaturallover2002 @sambucky8 @9daykrisr @thebitchinleo @23victoria @scarlets-widow @pagetpagetpagetpaget @lovexnatasha @awesomebooklover17 @1234-angelika @imatrisk @blackreaderatrisk @princess-jules47 @alexloveskili @a-marie-a @siriuslysirius1107

[isahorcrux]

london is lonely pt. 3

AN: Took a break over the weekend, but here’s part 3! Once again, thank you for everyone’s support on this little series of drabbles that has grown rapidly out of hand.  Also, note, I changed Andy’s name to Trevor, because Andy’s name was too close to Mr. Isahorcrux’s and I felt bad. So remember that while you are reading, Trevor is Lily’s not boyfriend, not Andy.  Anyway, enjoy and once again apologies for what I’m sure is a million typos.

Texts between Lily Evans and James (weird car park boy), July 5, 2021, 21:02

James: Hi! Listen, I’m really sorry about all this.  It was actually my mate who left you the note, but he thought it’d be a laugh to leave my name and number.  I only just found out.  Look, I’m sure you’re very nice, but I’m actually not looking for anything right now. Hope you can understand.

“Well that’s just bad luck.”

Lily, Marlene, and Mary were huddled around Lily’s phone in the girl’s toilets at Hagen & Hyde.  After Lily had sent her text earlier that afternoon, she tried to forget about it.  Worst case, he wouldn’t respond.  Best case, they’d end up having a great date.  She really didn’t have anything to lose.  James Potter had been out of her life for more than a decade at this point.  No use wasting time thinking about him now.  Still, whenever there was a lull in conversation or Lily felt her phone buzz, her thoughts immediately turned back to James.  By the time five o’clock came around, Lily had all but given up on him texting, which hurt quite a bit more than she was expecting it to.  Marlene had supposed it was because they had a history outside of him being a random admirer.  Mary had been worried she’d hyped him up too much, and apologized profusely every hour James didn’t text back.  And Dorcas, well, Doras hadn’t understood why Lily was so disappointed, when she hadn’t even wanted to text him in the first place.  Dorcas, in fairness, wasn't wrong, but the anxiety around the unanswered text message still remained as the four girls made plans to meet up with their other friends, Hestia and Emmeline, at the pubs.  It was a good distraction at first, but a few hours into drinking, Lily was ready to do something drastic.  But of course, just before she could, James had responded.

“Which friend do you think it was?” Mary asked, “If it’s that one with the long hair, you should ask for his number.”

Marlene shot Mary a look.

“What?  Just trying to get something good out of this for Lily.”

Marlene raised her eyebrow.

“Or me, you know, if he’s not to Lily’s liking.”

Lily snorted, “This is stupid. Let’s just get back out there - see if Hestia managed to con those poor lads into buying us a round.”

Mary led the charge out of the toilets, but Marlene paused before following.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Of course I’m sure, why wouldn’t I be?”

Marlene looked like she wanted to push it.

“I’m fine, really.  Look, it was a fun what-if, but it’s over and we can all go back to our lives, alright?”

“Of course.”

The girls were congregating by the bar, Hestia evidently being successful in procuring six free pints.  Lily, not really a beer girl, sipped the foam politely for a few minutes, before abandoning her drink in favor of attempting to flag down a bartender.  Easier said than done at nine thirty on a Friday night.

“A gin and tonic, please.” Lily said, holding out her tenner, when the bartender called Kevin made his way over to her end of the bar.

With the proficiency only a bartender who works weekends could have, Kevin handed Lily her drink and made his way down to the other end of the bar.

“Mind your backs!”

As Lily made to make her way back to her friends, she leaned into the bar as a boy around her age negotiated his way through the crowd with five pints.  Both their efforts proved futile, however, when one glass seemed to launch itself out of the boy’s hand and onto the floor, beer splattering Lily’s shoes.

“Damn, sorry about that.”

The boy smiled at Lily.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lily smiled back, “I hated these shoes anyway.”

She didn’t.  These were actually her favorite going out shoes, but the boy looked sorry. And also rather cute.

“I’d offer to buy you a drink, but you seem to have just gotten one.”

“I don’t mind being double parked.”

The boy flagged down Kevin and procured himself another pint and another gin and tonic for Lily.

“I hate to ask, but would you mind helping me with these?” the boy motioned to the pints that were now sitting on the bar, “Clearly I can’t be trusted.”

“Not at all,” Lily said, reaching for a pint and her other G&T, “I’m Lily, by the way.”

“Caradoc.”

Lily smiled again.  Maybe her night was looking up.

“Who are you here with?”

A question, meant to come off as innocent small talk, but loaded with something more.

“A few of my mates, they’re over there.”

Lily pointed to Marlene, Mary, Dorcas, Hestia, and Emmeline.

“Nice, do they–”

“I’ll catch them up later.”

Lily wasn’t in the mood for slow moving games tonight.  Trevor was a lost cause tonight, seeing as he hadn’t responded to Lily’s last text from a couple of hours ago.  Just her luck, the moment she needed male shaped attention to move past her slightly cracked heart, he was nowhere to be found.  But, perhaps this Caradoc fellow could become her new distraction.

“Follow me then.”

The pair of them weaved through the other young professionals that populated the large pub, occasionally warning an unaware patron that they were approaching with drinks.  Caradoc’s friends were seated at a table on the newly constructed outdoor patio.  It was a warm July evening, but still cool enough that Lily briefly regretted leaving her leather jacket at home.  Perhaps Caradoc had a jacket she could find herself snuggled up in in a few hours time.

“Oi, I thought we said no phones tonight?”

They’d arrived at Caradoc’s table, where his four other friends were crowded around someone’s mobile.  The shortest one, with watery eyes, pulled himself away at Caradoc’s voice, looking guilty.  The lanky one, who had a few scars decorating his face was the next to emerge from the huddle; though he looked more sheepish than guilty.  The third boy, who had long dark hair, tossed the mobile back to the fourth, letting out a bark like laugh.  The fourth muttered something Lily couldn’t hear, before stowing his phone in his back pocket.

“Everyone, this is Lily.  Lily, this is everyone.”

“That’s not particularly helpful, Doc,” the boy with the long hair said, eyes glinting mischievously, “I’m Sirius,” he held out his hand to shake Lily’s, “That’s Peter,” he said pointing to the shortest boy, “That’s Remus,” he indicated the lanky boy to Peter’s left, “And this is—”

“Evans?” 

The fourth boy looked gobsmacked, almost as gobsmacked as Lily felt.

“Potter.”

[engie-ivy]

A 'Remus Lupin's birthday' Wolfstar Fluff fic!

James wants to give Remus a surprise party. Sirius wants to give Remus a birthday kiss. Their timing overlaps.

Surprise?

If James didn’t have his heart set on being an Auror, he thinks he would’ve made a great party planner. The common room looks great. Decorations, Butterbeers, snacks, music, everything a good party needs.

Alright, maybe it wasn’t just his party planning skills that made it all come together. It was also the fact that it was for Remus Lupin. When it comes to Remus Lupin, everyone’s all in. Peter and the Prewetts provided the booze, Mary, Emmeline and Dorcas baked a chocolate cake, Marlene had been in charge of the music, and Lily helped coordinate the whole thing. Everyone loves Remus Lupin, and since Remus always tries to make his birthday go by unnoticed, everyone was willing to give their all to make this surprise party the best party ever.

The only thing they need right now is, well, Remus showing up.

Remus had gone on his prefect rounds, as usual, and Sirius had joined him, as usual. Afterwards, they would go to the Astronomy Tower to share a Butterbeer, as usual, before returning to the Gryffindor Tower, as usual. That’s when the whole dimming the lights, hiding, flashing on the lights, jumping out of hiding places, and yelling ‘surprise!’ thing will take place.

Only, usually, they’d be back by now. James would’ve been more at ease had he known Sirius was in on it. However, had Sirius known about it, they could’ve immediately given up on the whole idea of throwing a surprise party. Sirius can’t for the life of him keep a secret from Remus Lupin. He would’ve acted all awkward and flustered, and Remus would’ve known something was up immediately. Although, now that James thinks about it, these last few weeks Sirius has been acting awkward and flustered around Remus even for no reason.

James wrings his hands and wishes once again Filch hadn’t confiscated The Map. But it can’t be long now. They should be here any minute.

“Best birthday memory?” Sirius asks, leaning his elbows on the railing, his head resting on his hands, looking at Remus through his lashes.

Remus chuckles and takes a swig out of the bottle of Firewiskey Sirius smuggled up for the special occasion.

It had been a nice day. The Marauders had given him presents at breakfast, Sirius had surprised him with chocolate and tea by the fireplace in their free period, and now he’s enjoying his favourite part of every day: his evening talks alone with Sirius on top of the Astronomy Tower.

“Don’t know if I can pick a single one,” he replies. “All my birthdays as a kid were wonderful. Mum used to make me pancakes for breakfast, and I could decorate them myself with chocolate sauce and sprinkles. Then my dad and I would go outside where he would teach be how to fly a kite, while my mum baked Honey Cakes. In the evening, we used to play board games together.”

“Wow,” Sirius mutters. “What kind of storybook did you grow up in? That sounds wonderful! Celebrating your birthday here at Hogwarts must be so disappointing for you.”

“Nah,” Remus says, taking another swig before passing the bottle back to Sirius. “Pancakes, kites, Honey Cakes, it’s the ideal birthday when you’re a kid, y’know?” He looks out over the Hogwarts grounds below. “When you turn seventeen, smuggling Firewhiskey and sneaking up the Astronomy Tower with a cute guy is much better.”

As soon as he realises what he has said, Remus’ face flushes and he whirls his head around to see Sirius’ reaction. Whatever he was going to say disappears from his thoughts when he notices that Sirius is now standing up straight and very close to him, looking at him intently while nervously biting his lower lip.

It feels like his heart is in his throat when Sirius’ fingers hesitantly brush his, before carefully taking his hand. “Might that...” Sirius speaks carefully. “Might that also involve a birthday kiss from said ‘cute guy’?”

Remus has lost the ability to form words, so he just nods, almost expecting to wake up any moment, but then Sirius leans in and Sirius’ lips press softly against his own.

At first, he thinks a feeling like this can’t be real and has to be a dream. But at second thought, it can’t possibly be a dream, as Remus’ imagination could never create something like this.

What an incredible way to start a new year of his life.

Sirius and Remus are almost skipping through the halls, holding hands with fingers intertwined, giddy on Firewhiskey and the excitement of this newfound intimacy.

Sirius helps Remus climb through the portrait hole, which really isn’t necessary, especially how he firmly has his hands on his hips, but Remus sure won’t complain. Remus almost pulls Sirius through the portrait hole after him and then towards him, in the surprisingly dark common room.

The moment has come, James thinks with a surge of excitement. Time to switch on all the lights, come out of hiding, and... fall into stunned silence.

Sirius and Remus break their, what seemed to be quite passionate, kiss, and look up in bewilderment, though Remus still has his hands in Sirius’ hair, and Sirius’ arms are still encircling Remus’ waist.

James is sure his expression must be one of surprised amusement. Peter is gaping. Lily is blinking in disbelief. Mary looks like the cat who got the cream. Marlene has a smug smirk on her face. The Prewetts are grinning, while Benjy looks slightly put off. For the rest of the onlookers, stunned shock seems to be the best description.

Remus glances over at Sirius, who’s wordlessly opening and closing his mouth at the sudden appearance of the crowd. When he notices Remus looking, he gives him a small smile and a half-shrug.

Remus turns back to the onlookers. “Ehm...” He says with an awkward chuckle. “Surprise?”

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars • 16

Pairings: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, [F]Reader Content: Language, possible errors Author’s notes: Thanks for the support! xx (also kinda personal but I just got accpected into uni?! Crazy!) 

Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 16: Everything Goes According to Plan

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January 30th, 1976

“Where’s my camera?”

“Be careful — Oi! Don’t step on me!”

“Ouch!”

“Shush!”

The squeaking of floorboards creaked throughout the small room as everyone kept on stumbling into each other, all fidgeting from excitement. That morning, they’d all woken up earlier than usual, decorating the room with streamers, leftover Christmas decor and a large banner that hung above the entrance of the doorway that read, Happy Birthday, Petals! (which was Y/N’s idea — she was very proud of the nickname). Even Mary snuck into their dorm, making everyone wear small pointy party hats as they huddled around Lily’s bed, circling her like vultures and raised their hands high. With a quiet count of three from Marlene, their hands lowered, hovering over Lily’s arms and legs, then shook.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” They bellowed.

Lily woke with a jolt; her eyes flew open as she let out a scream. Her back slammed against the bed frame while Toulouse swiped at them, specifically at Marlene and hissed.

Lily’s heart hammered against her chest and she felt the small prickles of needles subside all over her body. Her hand clutched her nightgown, attempting to even out her breathing. “You could’ve given me a heart attack!”

“Happy birthday, Lils!” Mary repeated before climbing into her bed, hugging her.

She grunted at the impact as a smile replaced her features. Her eyes hopped from person to person before landing on Y/N who gave a sweet smile which had Lily blushing as she averted her eyes back to Mary.

When the group realized that Lily’s birthday fell on a weekend, it left them giddy and beyond excited for the endless opportunities that lay ahead of them. Not only did it leave the entire group to have a small break from their ruthless studying, but they could thoroughly celebrate the day and have enough time to spare for any last-minute plans for the surprise birthday party that night.

“Get your arse up and get ready to start the day!” Marlene declared, already trying to tug her crimson blanket away.

Lily yawned, rubbing her eyes, “Do we have to? I’m tired…”

“Come on! Life is short! It’s time we make memories,” she cried, “You never know when you’re going to die! Would you rather celebrate your birthday as a ghost or six feet under?! I, for one, will not visit your grave.”

Lily rolled her eyes, getting up with a stretch. Dorcas moved to turn on Marlene’s record player, settling a record by Nancy Sinatra as everyone continued with their usual morning routines. Lily got dressed in her favourite long sleeve lilac dress, pulling on tights to prevent herself from freezing. Mary wore her usual gold eyeshadow and wore a red jumpsuit while Marlene dressed coolly in all black. Although, Dorcas decided to stay in bed, still recovering from her nasty flu.

“You look very pretty today,” Y/N told Lily while detangling her hair from the loose braid she had it in. She took a brush and hair styler, primping her hair to Lily’s usual style and placed a headband in her hair.

“I — I, er — thanks!” She replied somewhat flustered.

“No… problem — there! Finished!” She handed Lily a handheld mirror, letting her go over her appearance. Pleased, she turned around to the group.

“So, first order of business, what did you want to do today?” Dorcas asked before going into a fit of coughs. Marlene rushed up to her side and popped off a cork from a nearby potion for her to drink.

Everyone had been slightly worried. It had been four days now and Dorcas still wasn’t recovering from the flu despite the ad of magic and potions. Thankfully today she seemed to perk up, even just a little, but they worried she was pushing herself.

“How about we just stay here, with you? We can all up a Healer and —”

“No,” Dorcas coughed again, she waved her hands in front of her, “I’ll be fine. Don't worry about me. What do you want to do?”

Lily remained quiet for a moment and Y/N assumed she was going to suggest staying in their dorm with Dorcas again, but her eyes gleamed with unusual mischief. Her eyes hopped from person to person before landing on Y/N. “I want to do a prank and I think you’ll love it.”

Everyone’s brows rose. Lily, the goodie-two-shoes prefect, Evans and pranks?! Those two do not belong in the same sentences.

“Okay…” said Mary, nodding her head despite being confused, “We’re listening.”

Lily sat down on her bed, crossing one leg over the other as she motioned everyone to sit. “Do you think it’s possible if we can dye someone’s hair? Obviously, safely,” she used her prefect voice, “But do you think we can?”

A beat went by — that was strangely out of character. What happened to the Lily they knew?

“Yeah,” Marlene begins, “What colour are you thinking?”

“Orange — bright orange with a bit of green.”

Then, Lily turned over to look at her again, a ghost of a smile appearing that told Y/N that whatever she was planning was going to be worth it — especially if Lily out of all people, was going to pull it off.

“Someone's going to be sorry for calling me Carrots.”

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At breakfast, they arrived later than usual after they all planned out their prank. Marlene, who had been a part of too many pranks with Sirius and James, helped the most, while Y/N and Lily created a hair-changing potion using one of Dorcas’ old cauldrons — but unlike James, they stuck to a potions textbook with a reversal potion. Since it was Lily’s idea, she would be the one to slip the potion into Sirius’ drink. So, she tucked the vital into the sleeve of her dress, hidden from prying eyes.

They all huddled around her as they entered the Great Hall; their hands were pushed forward protectively, guarding Lily as if she were a celebrity being swarmed by adoring fans and they were her bodyguards. They paved her way from students while shouting:

“She’s declining photos at the moment!”

“Birthday girl coming through!”

“She’s a very busy lady! Out of the way!”

Lily kept on protesting for them to stop, hiding her face in her hands. As they reached their table, they sat beside the marauders while Lily made sure to take a seat next to Sirius. But, that wasn’t the end of Lily’s humiliation. Mary stood up, clapping to gain everyone’s attention. Once she realized what was about to happen she quickly got up, but Y/N and Sirius clapped a hand on Lily’s shoulder, shoving her back down on the bench.

They opened their mouths, singing,

“Haaaaapppppy birthday to you!” The six of them hollered before the rest of the hall caught on and started singing. “Haaaaapppppy birthday to you! Haaaaapppppy birthday dear Lily —” “CARROTS!” Shouted Sirius at the top of his lungs.

Lily kept shaking her head, blushing incredibly hard — even the tips of her ears started to turn pink. She covered her ears, attempting to muffle out the singing.

Y/N snapped a few photos of her, shoving them into her pockets.

“Haaaaapppppy birthhhhdaaaay tooooo youuuuuuuu!”

The Gryffindors and any Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs that knew Lily cheered loudly. A few teachers, like Slughorn or McGonagall, made their way over to her, congratulating her along with a few other of her friends from different houses. Well wishes could be heard, along with a few people even handing her cards too.

Even an owl came swooping by when she had her back turned, dropping off a small package addressed from her parents and her sister, Petunia.

Swarmed and distracted, this left the group to huddle together as they leant over the table, forming a small circle of sorts. James was excluded as he sat back and drank a cup of tea flicking through the Daily Prophet.

“Operation: Lily’s birthday party,” said Marlene, “Let’s go over what our positions are for tonight.”

Mary was assigned with Dorcas to decorate the common room while Remus distracted Lily tonight during their rounds. Marlene and Sirius were in charge of drinks and snacks, leaving Peter and Y/N to bake a cake and bring any additional food.

They all quickly pulled apart once the crowd around Lily subsided. She settled back down, nodding and faking a cough. This signalled to the girls as Marlene quickly roped Sirius into a conversation about a New-Maj band he liked; Y/N talked to James about the upcoming Ravenclaw and Slytherin Quidditch match which left Mary to distract both Peter and Remus.

When none of the marauders were looking, Lily popped the corkscrew from the vital and grabbed a bowl of muffins on Sirius’ left. While she lent over, the potion poured directly into Sirius’ cup and she sat back down, smirking to herself. Y/N gave a discreet small high-five to her as they waited.

After a few minutes, parched from his talk with Marlene, Sirius picked up his goblet and tipped back the drink. He took a large gulp, wincing at the taste as he pulled it away from his face, but returned to his conversation like normal.

For several minutes, nothing happened. The girls kept quickly glancing upwards to check out his hair, but nothing: still bleached blond. They sighed, dejected that their plan hadn’t worked and Y/N nudged Lily underneath the table and gave a small smile, trying to cheer her up.

Another ten minutes went by and only then did the root of Sirius’ hair begin to tint into a bright orange colour rather than his dyed hair. This caught the girl's attention, however, the rest of the marauders who were still engaged in their conversations, did not notice as their heads were turned away from him.

His hair rapidly turned into orange as the tips were tinted green. Sirius didn’t seem to notice until James laughed, quickly turning to him to tell him a joke until his eyes widened at his hair.

“Ugh — Padfoot?!”

Sirius looked at him bewildered at his worried tone and expression before catching his reflection in James’ glasses. By now, Peter and Remus looked at him, their eyes widened, leaving the girls to force down their laughter, showing false concern.

“What the fuck?!” Sirius exclaimed, running a hand through it. She’d never seen Sirius this panicked before. More than anything, he looked shocked and even a bit… happy? No — definitely not happy. He continued to chuckle nervously before fretting over his appearance. For once, his laughter did not bother her.

Students began to take notice, pointing over at the Gryffindor table while some even began gossiping with others about the prank. As soon as the bell rang, everyone got up from their seats while the marauders surrounded Sirius, trying to help him out. The girls, on the other hand, got up and ran out of the Great Hall, practically howling.

“Oh my god! I can’t believe I just did that! I did that! We did that!” Lily exclaimed in disbelief before taking a seat down at their usual hangout near the library. “Did you see his reaction?! Jeez! I see why they pull so many pranks now!”

Y/N was about to burst into tears. That was by far the funniest shit she’d ever seen before. Marlene was in a similar boat as she clutched her side. Her stomach hurt from how hard she laughed.

“Lily! You little minx!” Mary cried as flopped beside Lily, her head dropping into her lap.

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

Their day was jammed packed. They went skating on the black lake, hit up the library, walked around school grounds which ended up in a huge snowball fight. After a bit, they decided to take a moment to separate themselves to give each other a bit of space while Lily went to find Snape.

This left the rest of the group two hours tops to themselves.

Y/N walked over to Honeydukes, buying a bunch of Jelly Slugs and a couple of other things before dashing back to the castle; she needed to wrap all of her presents and she promised to help Dorcas wrap hers too.

Before she entered Hogwarts again, Y/N took a moment to herself and enjoyed the small moment of peace around her. The soft crunching of snow, the cold breeze and the stillness — how quiet it was — there was hardly a moment since the break that Y/N had felt the comfortable peace Hogwarts had to offer.

Stepping inside the corridors, the atmosphere suddenly changed with the torches ablaze and a constant bubbling ambience that never seemed to settle.

In the distance, to her right, she could hear distant shouting and a rush of footsteps nearing. Out of nowhere, James seemed to come barreling towards her.

“Whiskers!” He yelled, sending her a fast wink as he continued to run down the corridor, making a sharp turn. Then, Marlee popped out, dashing after James.

“Marls?! What’s happening?”

“Running from Filch — get him off my trail!”

“What did you do?!”

“Told me to cover up, so I hexed him — Potter called him a rent boy!”

“Are you going to miss the party?” She yelled as Marlene’s body kept getting smaller and smaller as she ran. Y/N began to panic, without Marlene, surely things would take a lot longer than planned.

“Like hell I am! I won’t be late!”

Marlene disappeared, shortly being replaced by Filch who ran in a strange mixture of running and hopping.

“Where did they go?” He breathed, bending down and clutching his knees. “I heard them over here, where are they?”

And so Y/N decided to have some fun. “Who?”

“You know!”

“Um — you mean the one with blond hair?” “And the boy with black hair!”

“Oh! Yes, I know who… What’re their names again? Severus Snape and —” she paused, trying to think of another blond person, “Ugh — Sirius Black?”

Well, he used to be blond.

“No! The Potter boy and McKinnon! Where are they?!”

“Hmm… Oh! Oh! I think they went,” she pointed outside to the thick, cold snowy path, “That way!”

Filch didn’t even question her and ran off. Laughing, Y/N ran away from Filch; the last thing she wanted to do was face his wrath once he knew she lied.

Opening the door to her dorm, Dorcas was asleep. She walked up to grab a nearby folded blanket and placed it over her body to keep her warm before starting working.

She cleared off a table, unfolding her wrapping paper and wrapped the sides before creasing them, taping everything down with a pretty bow.

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

Nobody had seen Marlene or James for the past couple of hours — they’d even skipped dinner which caused everyone to go into a state of panic. Without Marlene, Sirius would be in a lot of trouble completing his task alone.

The common room was filled with fighting in hushed whispers as Lily and Remus were set to leave for their rounds in a couple of minutes.

“I’m going to kill her,” Mary fumed, “The one day they’re not supposed to go mucking around, they pull this!”

“How about we find them —” “And lose the little time we have now?”

Sirius, in particular, was on edge, aggravated, as he turned towards Y/N, “Why didn’t you think of saying anything sooner?”

“Because I didn’t think Marlene and James would be stupid enough to get caught! Not today!”

He closed his mouth, his lips pressed into a tight line. Even he hadn’t expected them to be that stupid either — not today.

“Everyone, shut up. All of you! Why don’t we take a moment to breathe?” Remus said calmly, effectively shutting the entire group up. In moments like these, Y/N understood why he was a prefect. He breathed in and looked to Sirius, “You can do this by yourself, can you?”

“Course not, Moony. Have a little faith in me!” Sirius gave a tenacious laugh, although forced.

Remus’ eyes then flicker to Y/N and Peter, “This shouldn’t affect you, will it?”

They shook their heads.

“Okay then, we’ll continue as planned. I’ll buy you as much time as —” He quickly cut himself off as everyone’s ears perked up. They all heard it, Lily’s footsteps. With that, Y/N, Sirius and Peter weaved their way out of the common room, walking quickly to avoid Lily and Remus from catching up to them. Unfortunately, Sirius took the invisibility cloak before she or Peter had the time to ask for it.

They sneakily made their way down a flight of moving stairs, passing several empty corridors and made their way down to the kitchens.

Once they began working on Lily’s cake, Y/N instantly knew why Peter was assigned to the kitchens.

He instructed her most of the time, telling her which ingredients or utensils to find. Currently, she grabbed a metal ladle and watched as Peter churn the ingredients, watching as they blend into a seamless, smooth mixture. She sat back most of the time, baking and cooking was never something she was great at. 

Y/N rifled through the cabinets, searching for a cake tin. “Ah-hah! Found some!”

They were heart-shaped, rather than the usual circular ones. She placed them onto the counter before turning her attention to grease the pans and focus on making a couple of sandwiches.

“So,” she started, trying to make small talk, “Where’d you learn to bake so well?”

Peter went pink as he wordlessly flicked his wand; the cake tin and floated it into one of the pre-heated ovens and turned to make the frosting. “Erm — it was James’ mum, Euphemia, who taught me. She’s a great baker — honestly she’s good at everything.

“James and I grew up close to each other; we’re childhood friends. He never did fancy baking — liked cooking more and I felt bad he never wanted to help out Euphemia. So one day I offered to help and now whenever I’m at their house, I help around — like a tradition — and I do it in my spare time now. Helps clear my head.”

Just then, two house-elves popped in, each holding a cup of tea for each student. Y/N gave her thanks while Peter turned to talk to them, making them laugh and asking questions that seemingly were a follow-up from a previous conversation. A light dust of flour scattered the side of his cheek while he smiled with them. The more he spoke with the elves, the more Y/N grew fascinated.

Out of all the marauders, even beating out Sirius and James who were amongst the most popular students at Hogwarts, Peter was the most liked out of all of them, especially amongst her friend group.

He wasn’t James who at times was a bit too much and talked an awful lot. He wasn’t Sirius who was dramatic, nor was he Remus who was quiet and intimidating. Peter was just Peter — who was a bit skittish, insanely good at Wizard’s chess, bold enough to sneak into the Slytherin's common room all by himself and loved to bake, clearly was in the kitchens often enough to have full-blown conversations with the elves when most people would so much as spit on before walking away.

It spoke volumes of his character, especially since he was from a Pureblood family; bound to grow up entitled and look down to his inferiors.

She noticed Peter had quite a lot of friends, mostly women, always seeming willing to help someone in dire need whether it be listening, giving advice or comforting another person. It only made her recollect the time Peter had engaged in small conversations with her, seeking to make her feel more included. Like that one time he’d mentioned the Holy Harpies. Small, ostensibly insignificant, but contemplating it now; he'd been trying to make her comfortable — settled — welcoming her with open arms into his group; into the marauders and the girls.

Within moments, there was a newfound appreciation towards the boy.

The sandwiches they made, along with pork pies stolen, were stuffed into a bag, ready to be transported. Y/N boredly spun her wand between the length of her finger while Peter whirled around in his seat until the ring of the timer went off. The elves were already gone, zipped away into thin air as they grew tired with sleep.

Placing a cooling spell onto the cake to avoid the icing from melting off, Peter began layering on a thin layer of icing.

“What’s Lily’s favourite colour? Is it still purple?” He asked. Y/N gave a curt nod.

“Never been a fan of purple. One time I walked into my Grandmum’s room, she only wore purple knickers for my Grandad. Makes me shiver all the time — honestly, the woman traumatized me. S’pose it might be my Boggart.”

Peter also had a sense of humour.

While diligently working, she marvelled at his creation. A two-layer heart-shaped cake, decorated all in light purple icing covered the surface before Peter piped small designs and swirls onto it.

“Wow. I feel like I can barely hold my wand at times yet you —”

“My, my — what do we have here? Students out of bed?” A voice came from behind them. “Tut, tut, tut.”

The two craned their heads backwards where Peeves smiled and let out a squeal of delight.

“Peeves,” Peter began politely. He slowly set down his piping bag and put his hands up in a submissive, yet defensive manner, as if he’d encountered a feral animal. “Please — please, we’re doing something for a dear friend. Don’t get us thrown out.”

“What would happen if I told Filch about you,” the ghost responded in a saintly voice, but his eyes glimmered wickedly. He brought a finger to the side of his face, tapping his index finger to his cheek, thinking.

“What to do, what to do…”

“Psst, Pete, what’s happening?”

Nobody answered her. With Sirius gone with the cloak, it left her and Peter completely out in the open wishlist a ghost threatening them — not to mention the lie she told Filch earlier, there was no way she nor Peter were going to get out of this unscathed.

“Please,” he pleaded.

She looked at him, wide-eyed and started panicking. She repeated louder, “What’s happening? What do we do?”

Peeves then grinned largely and started doing large loops into the air. His cackling rang through the empty corridors, becoming progressively louder.

“Shit. Run.”

“STUDENTS OUT OF BED IN THE HALLWAY! I REPEAT, THERE ARE STUDENTS OUT OF BED IN THE HALLWAY BY THE KITCHENS!”

Peter grabbed the cake while Y/N swiped the bag filled with the rest of the food, piping bags and a small jar of edible decor. They ducked under Peeves, dashing out of the kitchens leaving a huge mess for the unfortunate elves to clean up the next morning.  

Peeves floated behind them slowly as he watched them run. Peter ran slower, trying to make sure he didn’t face plant into the cake while Y/N urged him to run faster.

“He usually helps us,” Peter grits out, “But he’s a two-faced git! Never trust him unless you’re doing a prank! Never!”

Just then, Peter lost his footing and tripped over his feet, letting out a half-shriek, mixing in with Peeves’ evil laughter. They sucked in a sharp breath, watching as the cake flew through the air but Y/N, quick on her feet, grabbed her wand, casting a quick non-verbal charm and watched as the cake and plate froze mid-air before the plate clanked down first, the cake following and settling ontop. She ran up to it, cradling and wrapping a protective arm around it to prevent the cake from dropping again. She called out for Peter to get up before he took the cake again, this time with a shout from Y/N to not drop it, before leading her into a secret passway down the corridor.

Peeves could be heard laughing maniacally down the hall before they both could hear Filch’s footsteps running towards his shouts.

Peter maneuvered through the passage while Filch’s voice became more and more distant as they continued to hurriedly walk. Lily and Remus’ shift was going to end soon and it would be a lost cause if they didn’t make it up to the common room.

They both turned sharply, about to exit before Y/N crashed into a shadowy figure, tripping but being caught swiftly by the figure. They cradled her head to keep her from falling, but the sudden scare caused both students to open their mouths to scream, loudly.

“It’s me! It’s me!” Sirius’ familiar voice runs out, waving a hand to shush Peter while the other was still on her back. Y/N felt herself relax and erratic heartbeat to calm. She’d never been so happy to see Sirius before. Until she realized that they were still touching and they both ripped away.

Her heart spiked, and she felt oddly light headed. Soon enough, her eyes then immediately went to his hair and held back from chuckling — perhaps right now was not the time.

“I came once I heard people shouting and I figured it was you two. You okay?” His eyes darted to her at the last part.

Perhaps her eyes tricked her, that she was too tired or bumping into Sirius too hard, but it felt like he’d been making sure if she was alright. Since when did Sirius care? Although, Peter didn’t seem to notice or he’d ignored the interaction entirely.

“F-fine,” he wheezed out, “Peeves… Peeves caught us while we were decorating the cake. We’re not done yet.”

“What time is it?” She asked.

Sirius placed his wand in his mouth while pulling out a silver pocket watch from his trousers. “Ten to ten.”

“We have time then.” 

Peter placed the cake down gently on a nearby ledge in the passage, causing Sirius to cast Lumos. Sirius kept a watch out, his head moving from side to side every so often as he listened for anyone or anything walking past them.

Pulling out the icing bags and sprinkles, Peter began to finish his work. He continued to create flowers as Y/N wrote on the cake (although with help from her wand), ‘Happy 16th Birthday, Lily!’ and then placed a couple of candles around.

As Peter continued to add his small touches, Y/N’s eyes drifted around, not landing on anything in particular but zoned in on the shining of Sirius’ rings. Her eyes slowly drifted upwards, studying him. The remainder of the full moon that recently passed spilled a muted milky light onto the stone floor and touched Sirius’ face. He wasn’t wearing his normal school robes but dressed in Muggle clothing. Black jeans, a nice sweater, notable messy hair and his body language was relaxed. This Sirius was tolerable, likeable even. She liked this Sirius — but perhaps it was because he finally wasn’t talking. This Sirius gave her an insight into what he was like aside from his annoying, bitchy self. Loose, wild, messy in an elegant way, confident — in his prime — looking for a thrill, sneaking around; mischief.

Suddenly, Sirius’ wand went out as he ducked down, huddling beside her and Peter.

“What —”

They met each other’s eyes, locking, as he brought a finger up to his lips which made her flicker down to look at them, quickly.

Their eye contact was brief, so brief, nonetheless, it contained a flurry of emotions too complicated for Y/N to process.

But being up close for those brief seconds, she was able to examine him — truly, for the first time. Her eyes traced over the singular scar on his face, hidden by his hair that made her wonder where he’d gotten it from. Soon the questions enclosed her mind like an overflowing river.

His small, unexpected gesture had been one of many which had been nicer and oddly thoughtful recently.

Sirius’ brain was written in cryptic code — so advanced and intertwined — too complicated for her to understand. She wanted to understand his actions.

Even if she didn’t like to admit it, Sirius had a depth that greatly attracted her. She had so many unanswered questions.

And since her brain ran a mile a minute, her emotions weren’t filled with that annoyance of ranger — no, for once she didn’t feel any kind of resentment towards him.

Maybe it was because they both had one goal in mind: Lily’s party and that working against each other during something as high stakes like this would fail a good friend of theirs. Or maybe it was that instead of her or him starting something — or maybe — maybe it was because the boy was so close to her, closer than they ever had been before. Or maybe it was the adrenaline that set every fibre of her being on fire — making her feel like honey-dipped in tea — or the odd thunderous throbbing of her heat spiking suddenly; Y/N grew warm all over.

It didn’t help that Sirius didn’t look angry either, but rather a sudden cognizance filled his gaze, looking both shocked and calm.

But quickly, she just chalked up her flurry of emotions to adrenaline or wanting to hex him — either worked.

For Sirius, he felt utter disdain as his gaze fixated on her. He was tempted to flicker down to her lips but her eyes, bright and filled with glittery stars, were enchanting. It scorned him — made his heart beat in an iambic pentameter, creating its own sonnet that would make even the most accomplished poets jealous.

He wanted to refuse her presence. Wanted to focus on anything but her.

But Sirius was a weak man. He failed. He always did.

Their eyes ripped away and they heard the familiar sound of footsteps and voices neared them as they spotted the familiar red hair and tall figure.

Their voices were slightly muffled.  

“— times have changed! You aren’t a second year anymore.” Lily chimed while they walked.

Remus shook his head, instead of flicking his wand as a dozen torches lit up in mere seconds. “Whatever you say, Red.”

She swatted at his shoulder while Remus ruffled her hair, his smiling becoming genuine.

“Seriously, I support it.

“Merlin, Evans — it’s not going to happen. Look at me!”

“Not with that attitude and you look more than fine!”

Peter shifted his eight onto his other foot which made an audible scuffle. However, it was so quiet that neither she nor Sirius caught on but Remus, whose head swirled in their direction, did. He took a deep inhale, a look in his eyes, confusion melting into realization — there and gone — as if he knew they were there despite being hidden by the shadows of the night. He turned his head once more and started walking faster while Lily skipped down, trying to catch up to him.

Remus Lupin was an odd one alright.

Nobody moved until they were positive they were gone.

The entire night had been a shitshow.

“Okay,” Sirius exhaled, he felt his entire body tense up, “Let’s get out of here.”

“Do you think the cake is okay?” Y/N asked Peter as Sirius tossed the invisibility cloak over their bodies, hiding them from onlookers.

“Bloody well hope so,” he grunted, “We didn’t get caught almost three times, freeze our arse, almost get a month's detention, and probably destroyed the kitchen for it not to be great.”

Without another word, they made their way back to the common room where everyone made a fuss about how late they were. Quickly, Peter placed any last-minute designs, Mary handed everyone small party horns, Dorcas put up last-minute balloons while Y/N and Sirius helped each other layout all the snacks and drinks — this time, civilly.

“God… How’d you even get this much? Me and Peter were in the kitchens and we couldn’t even get half of what you got.”

At this, Sirius smirked before collapsing into the plush velvet couch behind him, an exhausted sigh as he sank further in. But as soon as the smirk was there, it was gone as everyone heard the clicking of the portrait open.

“Hide — HIDE!”

All the lights were blown out as they all hid behind the couches — they heard quiet footsteps — someone shuffling towards the middle — footsteps getting louder — louder — and —

Sirius lit the entire room as they all sprung up and Y/N quickly held her camera to her face and snapped a photo as everyone shouted,

“SUPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHD —” “Godric fucking Gryffindor!”

“... I’m going to KILL YOU MCKINNON! POTTER!”

Everyone groaned in disappointment at James and Marlene’s arrival before they heard the faint sounds of footsteps outside of the portrait again. Mary yanked Marlene down, shoving her behind the couch along with forcing a party hat on her head and confetti in her hands. Sirius grabbed James by his red sweater and rushed him up the stairs before getting back into place.

“Told you,” Marlene whispered into her ear, “Wasn’t going to be late.”

The real Lily could be heard as she spoke excitedly with Remus. The portrait swung open — everyone waited before she stepped inside — they put most of their weight onto their toes, waiting to jump — Sirius’ wand was about to light up the room — Y/N held her camera — Dorcas and Marlene were going to throw up the confetti —

“Why is it so dark —”

“SUPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LILY!”

Light rushed back into the room and Lily’s face lit up brighter than the sun. Mountains of sweets were piled into bowls while a small table was lined with drinks. Sirius outdid himself, seemingly raiding Honeydukes; there was taffy, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, Chocolate Frogs, sherbet lemon, caldron cakes — plus the food Y/N and Peter had hauled from the kitchen; sandwiches, fruit, crisp (she made the mistake of saying chips in front of James and Marlene only to then be hassled by them for it) and pork pies.

ABBA played in the background, much to Remus’ demise as her purple cake sat in the middle on a table, all the candles lit. They all ushered Lily to blow out the candles while they all held wrapped gifts, cards and small gift bags.

“You didn’t need to do this!” Lily said, although there was a thankful look in her eyes, “This is too much! Thank you!”

“Anything for you, Evans!”

“You’re lucky we didn’t bring fireworks!” Marlene and Sirius grinned.

“You would have all gotten detention —” “Stop being a goody goody, not today, Lils!” Sirius slung his arm around the redhead.

Gifts went around; Lily had gotten so many cards from other teachers and students, handmade jewellery from Dorcas, Remus knit her a sweater with hearts, Mary and Marlene gave a joint gift, Peter bought her a small yet overly fancy tea set Lily had mentioned offhandedly before, Sirius gave her a first edition books she loved while Y/N gave her the gifts she bought from that old book store. Alice had even dropped by and given her a small package before heading back up for the night.

They all smiled widely at her and were thrilled to see her so happy. Y/N lifted her camera and took an abundance of photos throughout the entire night, before shoving them into the back pocket of her pants.

By the time everyone reluctantly returned to their dormitories, it was three o’clock in the morning and everyone was beyond tired, deciding it was time for bed.

“Night,” Dorcas called out. Marlene yawned loudly before falling into her bed, muttering out another round of happy birthdays to Lily. They were out the fastest — soft snores filling the room.

White specks seemed to blur through her vision as Y/N rubbed her tired eyes. She was about to call over to Lily, say goodnight, roll over and sleep before the creaking of her bed altered her to Lily padding her way to the bed. Y/N looked up at her, confused before scouting over for Lily to slip in, under her blankets.

“Are you okay, Petals?”

“Beyond perfect,” she replied with a wistful voice, “I’m so thankful. Thank you.”

Y/N chuckled, although she was a tad perplexed, “Y’know, it wasn’t just me who helped.”

“I know, but still. This birthday feels different from all the other ones I’ve had and I can’t help but think it’s also because of you.”

Lily Evans never ceased to amaze her. “Well, I hope you mean that in a good way,” she teased.

“Obviously!”

Silence fell around them before Toulouse hopped onto Y/N’s bed and settled himself between the two friends.

Y/N’s eyes wondered to the banner: petals... “What’s your favourite flower? Surely it’s not lilies, are they?”

Lily gave a small huff of amusement and shook her head, “No. Peonies or irises. What about yours?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll just say lilies for now.” She said absentmindedly before her eyes shot open. “Shit! I forgot —” Y/N reached over Lily and opened her drawer with the pouch of Jelly slugs before placing them into Lily’s hands. “Forgot to give you these.”

There was a soft look in Lily’s eyes and something Y/N couldn’t quite place. Her friend was acting quite strange.

“It feels like I’ve known you forever,” Lily says softly, her face flushed a rosy colour.

She stayed silent for a while, at a complete loss for words. Even a slight look of confusion crossed Lily’s face. 

“Yeah, you too.”

[marauderssequels]

meet the project managers!

we have a fantastic team assembled for this series, and it’s finally time to hear a little about a few of them! each and every one of us is dedicated to creating the books this community deserves, and I hope you’ll stick with us through this seven-book journey :)

Hi! I'm Richa, your designated Gryffindor stereotype. I'm 18 and I'm in charge of managing Book One of the series, as well as the character arcs for James (my favourite character!!) and McGonagall. I'm Indian and my pronouns are they/them. What I love most about the marauders is their friendship and how they'd do anything for each other, how they lived their lives raising hell wherever they went, how they're so different from each other and yet so similar, how they're the epitome of loyalty and chaos. I love their story, and so I'm really excited to be working on this project with so many creative people and I can't wait to see how it turns out! I'll be active on the Discord server and I’m TRYING to be more active on Tumblr (@imadiamond) too but lets be real I’m failing so don't hesitate to connect, I'd love that! :)

Hello, I’m Chloe (she/her and @nerds-escape), I’m 18, a Ravenclaw, I’m going to be double majoring in Anthropology and Criminology, and I’m the manager for Book Three! I’m great at projecting onto Dorcas (and Peter) whomst I am in charge of! While the original stories are interesting, there is something to be said about the Marauders and their friendships; we know virtually nothing about them, and it’s fun that the Marauders got to have a little more of a “teenage typical” view of the world growing up than Harry did. I’m always looking to get into projects, especially ones with lasting impressions. I had just finished working on the Marauder’s Pride Fanzine and figured I had room for another project, so I offered my help. We have come up with some amazing ideas so far and I’m super excited to see how the project ends up!

Hi, I’m Raina (she/her)! I’m the head of Book Four, and I’m managing Snape and Marlene’s character arcs. I’m a 19 year old English major and an aspiring novelist. I love to read, write, and draw, and I always find something to fangirl over. Harry Potter’s been a major obsession of mine for basically my entire life and I’m so excited to work on this project together. I’m active on the Discord server (raina//raincoat) and my tumblr is @yellowraincoat. Feel free to reach out and interact!

hey there, im aj (but you can also call me alex). my pronouns are they/them and i'm the co-manager of books 3 and 5. i've adored the marauders era and always have read fanfics (since jkr ever-so-nicely didn't write an official series for them), so the fact that im now part of a project which basically will talk bout the marauders during their school years is kinda cool, if im being honest and i cant wait to see how this goes!

I'm Toni (they/them), I’m in charge of Book 6 and the character arcs for Lily and Petunia. I also run the discord server (I’m Toni on there as well). My tumblr is @toni-d-b and it’s very chaotic (I’m sorry). I’m German, so I have a different time zone than most (I’m in UTC+1) and english is my second language, but it’ll be ok, I’m bilingual at this point and sleep is a lie. I will however remind all americans of the absurdity of everything about america at any chance I get. What I think I love the most about this fandom is that it is one at all. In the sense that we took little bits and pieces and built an era around them. There were mentions of people and now they are fully fleshed out characters and I just think that’s very neat of us to do that. That is also the reason I want to be part of this project and maybe to give back to this community I found.

hello, I’m ryn! I launched this project in august, and I run this blog and organize the tiers. I started this series because I wanted to find a place for myself and others in the harry potter stories again. the marauders are characters with so much potential, and the way fandom has shaped them is so loving and meaningful. I’ve always wanted more canon content for them, but I know now that our versions of them are better than anything that could come from the original author. bringing our community closer together through a project like this feels like the best possible way to connect again in one of the most isolating times many of us have experienced. I’m so happy to be working with all these incredible people, their introduction was long overdue and they can’t get enough credit for the fantastic work they’ve been putting in over the past few months. we’re going to bring you an amazing series, and I can’t wait to bring more passionate creators in as we launch production next month <3

[e-of-west-glendia]

Time Will Tell

The entirety of Gryffindor house was in the common room tonight, celebrating their victory over the Slytherin's in the quidditch match. The room was filled with echoing laughter and intoxicated teenagers. 

Remus watched the party in amusement. He'd been at the game earlier today and had cheered on the team, but he wasn't in much of a partying mood. Last week's full moon had left him aching and exhausted, draining what little energy he'd have had to spend on the festivities. It didn't bother him that much, though. He was perfectly content to watch James make a fool of himself in front of Lily. And the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team made for plenty of entertainment, carrying out dares from their peers that they'd probably regret the next morning. 

From his position in the room, Remus was able to see everything going on. Which was how he happened to spot Marlene hanging back in the shadows. Remus raised an eyebrow, Marlene Mckinnon wasn't typically one to stand on the sidelines. As a matter of fact, she was usually the one leading the charge, stoking the fire of the already amped up party and adding to the general insanity. 

Remus turned to Sirius who was standing next to him. 

"I'll be right back," he said. 

Sirius, who had been chuckling at James's attempts to "woo" Lily, turned to face him. 

"Where are you going?" 

Remus shrugged. "Just over there, I'll be back soon." 

Sirius nodded at him, and then laughed. "I'd better head over to James, anyways. Lily looks like she's about ready to jinx him - I wouldn't put it past her either." 

Sirius started off in their direction, shouting, "Come on Lily, he's only joking!" 

Remus shook his head at him and then headed for Marlene. The blonde didn't even notice him approach and visibly jumped when he greeted her. 

"Remus," she said, quickly gathering herself. A large grin split across her face. "Helluva party, eh?" 

She gestured around the room. Remus took a look around them, his gaze settled on the Prewett twins who were levitating various people's items, and cackling  in amusement as their owners looked around for the source of the disturbance. 

Remus snorted. "Yeah." 

Marlene shook her head fondly at the twins. "How have we not been busted by McGonagall yet? I thought for sure she'd come up to tell us to shut it down." 

Remus shrugged. "Under different circumstances she probably would, but we won the match so I think she's willing to let it slide."

Marlene raised her glass of firewhiskey. "Hear, hear to that," she said and then downed half the glass. 

 Remus shook his head at her. "You're going to die of liver failure if you aren't careful." 

"Eh, we're wizards. I can just fix it with magic." 

Remus laughed and Marlene grinned. For a moment the two of them just watched the party. Taking in the flashing banners overhead and the joyful people. 

"So why are you here," Remus asked?

Marlene quirked an eyebrow at him. "Why I'm here to celebrate our victory with my fellow Gryffindor's." 

Remus returned her answer with an eye roll and a pointed look. She was deflecting, he thought. Remus had lived with Sirius - and himself, quite frankly - long enough to tell. 

"That's not what I meant and you know it." 

Marlene's raised eyebrow didn't lower, but her amused smirk faded. 

"Do I?"

"Mhm." 

Marlene sighed at Remus and turned to look at the common room. Her eyes fixed on a particular point. Remus followed her gaze and then something clicked. 

"Dorcas," he said simply. 

Marlene started again, this time worse than before. 

"What?"

Remus let out a sigh. "Marlene, I'm not an idiot I can see the way you're looking at her. What I don't understand is why you won't just go over and talk to her? The Marlene I know would never back down from a challenge." 

Marlene shook her head vehemently. "Its not that simple," she said ruefully. "You wouldn't understand." 

Remus through his head back and laughed, earning him an odd look from the blonde girl. 

"You're talking to the guy who's dating Sirius Black. Trust me, I would  understand." 

Marlene chuckled and raised her glass. 

"Can't argue with that." 

She fell silent again and cast a forlorn look at Dorcas. Dorcas was now standing atop a table surrounded by people. She waved her hand in circles around her as she told what looked to be a very captivating tale. Her eyes sparkled with mirth. 

"It's just," Marlene began. "I don't want to ruin our friendship, y'know? I've known Dory for years and I don't want to do anything that'd make it awkward. Besides, I don't even know if she likes girls." 

Remus said nothing for a moment and then he plucked the cup out of Marlene's hand, and downed the liquid inside. 

"Sometimes it just takes a leap of faith," he said.

Marlene snorted. "Seriously? That's your grand advice? I'm pretty sure you read that off the back of a fortune cookie." 

Remus laughed. "I'm pretty sure I did too, but you gotta admit, it's some pretty sound advice. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"

Marlene looked about ready to give him a list of said worst things, but Remus intervened before she could. 

"Marlene, if she really cared about you she wouldn't ditch you because you like her. You said it yourself, you two have been friends for years. She wouldn't just leave you."

Marlene still looked unsure. 

"Look, if she doesn't want to be friends with you after she finds out you like her, then you need to reevaluate your friendship with her. Lily would tell you the same thing,"Remus said. 

" As a matter of fact Lily would kick her ass for you," he added. 

"True," Marlene laughed. 

The two of them chuckled as they took a moment to envision the redhead's reaction. Then, after a moment Marlene said, "Thanks, Remus." 

Remus smiled at her, thinking back to a time when he, too, had needed to be reminded of how much his friends cared for him. 

"Anytime," he said. 

Marlene smiled back at him; then her gaze shifted to her cup which was still in Remus' hand. 

"Well," she said, taking the cup back from him. "As fun as this has been I think it's time I rejoined the party, don't you?" 

Remus nodded. "What's a party without Marlene Mckinnon?" 

Marlene winked at him. "Exactly." 

She scanned the room until her eyes fell on Sirius. 

"Oi, Black!" She shouted. 

Sirius looked over his shoulder to find the source of the voice, and grinned when he spotted Marlene. 

"Yeah, Marls?" 

Marlene tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder. 

"Bet you can't down as many shots of tequila as I can in thirty seconds."

Sirius' grin widened. "You're on, McKinnon." 

He gave Remus - who was glaring at him - an apologetic look. "Sorry, Moons. You know me, I never back down from a challenge." 

Remus sighed, he knew first hand that this was very true. He turned to Marlene, who was already picking her way through the crowd towards Sirius. 

"Don't kill my boyfriend, Marlene." 

"No promises," Marlene yelled back. 

Remus shook his fondly at them. 

"What was that about?" A voice next to him asked. 

Remus turned to his side and saw Lily looking at him questioningly. 

"With Marlene, I mean," she clarified. 

Remus shrugged. "Just giving a friend sime advice." 

A knowing look danced across Lily's face. "And did she take it?" 

Remus shrugged. "Only time will tell." 

Lily giggled. "You sound like a fucking fortune cookie." 

"So I've head," Remus said. 

Lily warmly at him and then jerked her head in the direction of Marlene aynr Sirius who now had a rather large crowd gathered around them. 

"C'mon, let's go over there before those idiots kill themselves." 

"Also I think I see James headed this way, and I'm not up for round two of his 'Lily we were meant to be together speech'," she added.

"Yeah," Remus said, allowing himself to be pulled away by Lily. "Let's go." 

And the two of them headed for Marlene and Sirius, getting lost in the sea of people around them. 

[remywrites5]

Can you please please please write more jegulily and jegulus but preferably jegulily puh-leaseee id love and appreciate you forever

           James didn’t exactly consider himself good at all the wedding planning stuff. He was still a little awed that Lily Evans had even agreed to it. They’d been dating for four years, since they were eighteen, and it was kind of just the thing people did. James would have been happy just going on the way things were but he knew that was what everyone was expecting of him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to marry Lily, it was just they already acted as if they were married, it didn’t feel like the actual wedding was worth it. Although James Potter had never said no to a party in his life.

           He also didn’t want to leave everything up to Lily. He wasn’t completely useless and could help with the planning and getting shit done. Lily knew better than to have James do too much though considering his propensity for mischief. He’d been given things to do that were difficult to screw up.

           James was in charge of the wine they were serving and Sirius’ brother owned a vineyard that he’d inherited from an uncle. Sirius and Regulus had inherited it together from their Uncle Alphie, but Sirius had no interest in wine besides drinking it, so he had let Reg take it over and apparently the business was thriving.

           James had actually never met Regulus before despite Sirius being his best friend. After Sirius had begun to rebel against his parents, Walburga and Orion tried to limit his contact with Reg as much as possible so their only good son wouldn’t be influenced by the bad. Reg had gone to a very private boarding school somewhere in Eastern Europe. They hadn’t really had an occasion to meet since then as James had been busy starting his life with Lily.

           As he walked into the tasting room, it was so classy he felt like maybe he should take off his shoes so he didn’t track mud anywhere. There were large black leather sofas for people to sit down and enjoy their wine. There were also a few tables on the other side and a bar with stools in the center of the room. The lighting was warm and inviting, like someone could just sit for hours and enjoy the wine.

           James knew Regulus was expecting him as Sirius had booked the appointment for him. As it was the middle of the day on a Thursday, it wasn’t as if there were a lot of people there. Just an older retired couple in the corner at one of the tables, chatting quietly and enjoying their afternoon with nowhere to get to.

           He took the opportunity to study the different kinds of wine that were displayed on the wall. James didn’t exactly know a lot about wine but he knew it usually gave him a headache. He was more of a whiskey and beer kind of bloke. Still, Lily preferred wine and it seemed like the more wedding type thing to do.

           “You must be James,” a silky baritone voice said from his right. James turned and felt like he was hit in the face with a frying pan. Regulus Black was gorgeous. He wasn’t sure why he was so surprised, after all Sirius was a very good-looking bloke. He had the same dark hair but it was shorter and more styled. He had sharp features, high cheekbones and a cut jawline. His eyes were a bit more sunken in than Sirius’, making his grey eyes seem even more pronounced.

           “Yes,” James said after having to clear his throat. “James Potter.”

           “Regulus Black,” he said, holding out his hand. His fingers were long and slender, almost delicate. James cringed at his own rough hands as he shook Reg’s. “It’s nice to meet you finally.”

           “Yeah,” James said, taking his hand back and shoving it into his pockets in embarrassment. “I was starting to think Sirius was keeping us apart on purpose.”

           Reg smiled, bringing one thin finger to his lips and biting down on it. Christ, everything about him seemed sinful. “My brother has never been good about sharing. A poor Paddington bear once suffered the consequences by being ripped in half.”

           James chuckled. “I wouldn’t know anything about that. Only child I’m afraid.”

           “Lucky you,” Reg said, quirking his eyebrows playfully as he dropped his finger from his lips. “Now, what were you thinking for your wedding?”

           James shrugged. “To be honest, I know fuck all about wines.”

           Reg nodded as if he’d been expecting it. James wasn’t sure if Sirius had warned Reg about James’ lack of knowledge or if he should be offended that Regulus had just assumed he knew nothing. “How about a tasting?” he offered, gesturing towards the bar. “We can go through a range of wines and find what you like. Unless the bride already has some selections.”

           James shook his head. “I think she usually drinks a cabernet but she’ll pretty much take whatever is on offer.”

           Reg walked gracefully over to behind the bar and began getting set up. He uncorked the first wine with a flourish and poured James a glass. James sat down on one of the stools and watched Reg. He moved like a dancer, his body having such ease to it as if it wanted to go wherever Reg had in mind, everything working in perfect unison.

           Regulus slid over a piece of paper with a list of wines on it. “After you taste each wine you score it on a scale from one to five, five being the highest. We’ll start with the sweeter wines and work our way to drier wines. If your fiancée enjoys Cabernet then it’s possibly she’s more into the dry. We’ll see what passes your fancy though.”

           James struggled not to mention that Regulus was what he fancied most at the moment. They chatted as James tasted over fifteen types of wine including a few cordials. They were all mostly delicious with only a few not really doing it for him. Regulus’ eyes lit up when he talked about wine and it was clearly a subject he was very interested in. James loved listening to him talk and realized he’d been sitting for hours only by the fact that his arse had lost most of the feeling in it. The older couple in the corner had left and it had been just him and Reg for some time.

           “Fuck,” James said, checking his phone. He was slightly buzzed from all the wine. “Lily will be wondering where I am. Guess we’ll be having a takeaway for dinner.”

           Regulus smiled politely. “Sorry to take up so much of your time.”

           “Don’t be,” James assured him quickly. “I had a really good time. Can I buy a bottle to take home with me? I think Lily would really like it.”

           Regulus nodded and turned away. James wasn’t sure but he thought he saw a pained expression cross Reg’s face. When he turned back around, he was holding a bottle of cabernet, his smile never faltering. “It’s on the house,” he said, holding it out to James.

           “Absolutely not,” James protested, shaking his head emphatically. “You already wouldn’t let me pay for the tasting even though I googled what you normally charge for that. You’ve done enough, Reg.”

           “Just take the stupid bottle,” Reg said with a put upon sigh.

           James pushed his glasses up and huffed in annoyance. As he took the bottle from Reg, their fingers brushed against each other and James could have sworn he felt electricity at the touch. He held the bottle in one hand and fished his wallet out with the other. He put fifty quid into the tip jar with a pointed look at Reg. He wasn’t sure if that was enough to cover everything he’d had that day but at least it was something. It didn’t make him feel quite so guilty.

           “So…” he said, shuffling awkwardly. “I’ll see you around then?” He realized he really didn’t want to leave.

           “You know where I am,” Regulus answered with a small smile. “Congratulations, by the way, I don’t know if I ever said it.”

           “Yeah, thanks,” James said, a blush tingeing his cheeks. “I’d better go. I’ve taken up enough of your time.”

           Reg ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged. “I didn’t mind at all.”

           James felt his stomach twist painfully. He had a fiancée. It didn’t do to go around fancying other blokes when he had the girl of his dreams waiting at home. “Thanks again, Reg. I hope to see you soon.”

           “I’d like that.”

           As James left the tasting room, he clutched the bottle of wine to his chest and pressed himself up against the wall of the side of the building. The whole thing was just so bloody inconvenient.

                                                           ***

           James got curry on his way home, unsure if it paired with red wine, but figuring they’d drink it anyway. He should have asked Regulus what would go well with the wine. It seemed like the sort of thing he’d know.

           “James,” Lily called out, pulling him from his reverie of thinking of Reg as he dragged his naan through the curry sauce. “Earth to Potter.”

           James glanced up from his plate to find Lily staring at him expectantly. He cleared is throat and took a bit of his naan just to stall for time. He had no idea what Lily had been talking about before he spaced out. “Yeah?” he asked with his mouth full.

           Lily rolled her eyes. “So who is it?”

           “What?” James asked, nearly choking on the half-chewed bread in his mouth. He took a huge gulp of his wine and that didn’t help at all because the wine made him think of Reg. His face heated up in embarrassment.

           “You’ve been sighing wistfully the entire meal,” Lily pointed out with a knowing grin. “If I didn’t know better, James, I’d say you were in love.”

           James took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m in love with you.”

           Lily shrugged. “I’ve been in love with more than one person at once.”

           James stared at her in surprise. “Am I one of those two people?” he asked, this being the first he’d ever heard of it.

           Lily nodded and pulled one of her knees up to her chest, hugging it as she ate her food. “The year we got together. Our first dating. I’d been in love with Marlene Mckinnon for years before that. It was part of the reason I kept turning you down. Well, that and you were a massive prick back then. Marlene and I used to fool around a lot but I definitely was in love with her. She developed feelings for Dorcas Meadows and I realized you weren’t so awful so we broke things off. But I still had feelings for Marlene even as I started falling in love with you. It’s possible to love more than one person.”

           James’ jaw dropped. “Wait, I was a rebound?”

           Lily groaned. “Bloody hell, Potter, that wasn’t exactly the point of the story.”

           “You never told me any of that!” James said indignantly. “I didn’t even know you were bisexual!”

           “I didn’t know you were either,” Lily shot back accusingly and James’ face reddened again. “You didn’t go to work today and so there’s really only one person it could be, unless you feel in love with Mrs. Gupta at the curry place we go to.”

           James shuffled uncomfortably. He had forgotten how intuitive Lily could be, how clever she was. Of course she would work it out. No one had ever accused James of being subtle. “Lily, nothing happened, nothing will happen.”

           “Says who?”

           “Says me!” James said in frustration. “It’s just a stupid crush. I wouldn’t do anything about it.”

           “Why not?” Lily said, her tone teasing and James looked up to find her raising an eyebrow at him. “I think I want to meet this Regulus who turned your head.”

           “Lily no!”

           “Oh yes!”

                                                           ***

           James was a ball of nerves as they entered the tasting room. He didn’t know what to expect from any of this and the uncertainty had him on edge. Lily seemed to be having the time of her life, getting a chance to playfully rib James for once instead of the other way around. He didn’t even understand what Lily was hoping to gain from all this. Maybe just ammo against James to use for the rest of their lives together. He’d been trying to talk her out of this stupid plan since the previous evening but Lily was steadfast. 

           Regulus walked in from the back carrying a case of wine. He stopped when he spotted James and smiled at him before glancing over at Lily. He looked a pit panicked as he put the case down on the bar. “Hello again,” he said, his expression schooled into something more neutral. “How can I help you?”

           “My fiancée would like to take you out on a date,” Lily informed him. James felt his jaw drop in surprise and his eyes flickered over to Reg nervously.

           “Lily,” he hissed, feeling his palms begin to sweat.

           “I don’t blame you, James,” Lily said, looking at him over her shoulder and giving him a sweet smile. “Bloody gorgeous.”

           “I’m sorry,” Regulus spoke up. “I’m confused.”

           Lily walked over to the bar and bent over it, getting close to Reg while James watched them in horror. It felt like everything was going in slow motion, like a car crash. “It’s quite simple,” Lily informed him. “James has a crush on you. I don’t have a problem with that. Are you interested in girls or is it just blokes?”

           Regulus looked dumbstruck for a moment and looked at James for help. James could only shrug in response. Regulus blinked a few times and then his attention went back to Lily. “I’m interested in women as well as men.”

           Lily smiled. “Then maybe both of us will take you out on a date,” she said, looking behind her and waving James over. James stumbled closer and stood beside his absolutely bonkers bride to be. “Only if you’re interested in that, of course. I’d understand if you’d want it to be just you and James. It seems you two made quite the connection yesterday.”

           Regulus’ eyes flickered between James and Lily as if he were working something out in his head. When their eyes met, James gave him a reassuring smile, wanting Reg to know this wasn’t some kind of joke. Reg licked his lips and nodded as if he understood. It felt like a similar non-verbal communication went on between Reg and Lily. He felt a bit relieved by how quickly Regulus and Lily seemed to be hitting it off. After what felt like a lifetime, Reg’s face broke out into a smile. “Well then,” he said, grabbing a bottle of wine and pouring three glasses. “How do you two feel about Indonesian food?”

[ronweasleyisourking]

This is How We Dance Chapter Four | Read on AO3 here

Gin was extremely uncomfortable. After Mary had cut off what her friend Sirius was saying, no one had said anything. He didn’t want to impose on what seemed like touchy subject matter, but he was also super curious. Plus, he really liked Mary and wanted to know everything about her. He decided to talk to her later, so that they would not be in a car when the discussion was happening. He had learned not to bring up touchy subject matter while in cars. He focused on not having a panic attack as he followed his phone’s directions to Mary’s house.

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Meanwhile in the other car, Hestia and Alice were discussing who was at fault for Gwenog never having watched Lemonade Mouth and also, not knowing who Hayley Kiyoko was. It began when Wanna Be Missed started playing on Alice’s phone, who had her Spotify playlist on shuffle.

“Wanna be loved every night, wanna know she's only mine, breathe her in, give me life, got all these hearts in line, they all wasting their time, ‘cause only you do me right…”

“Man, didn’t you love Hayley Kiyoko in Lemonade Mouth,” Alice asked the whole car when she recognized the song playing, not realizing what she was starting.

“What’s Lemonade Mouth,” Gwenog asked, sleepily. She loved hanging out with her cousin, but she never got her references, because they were all before her time.

Alice’s jaw dropped. “Tia, have you been depriving your little sister of one of the greatest Disney movies of all time? How can she not know what Lemonade Mouth is?”

“You watch her every day after school Lissy, you could show it to her anytime you want,” Hestia replied from the drivers seat, purposely using the nickname her cousin hated.

Alice glared at her and looked for backup in her significant others sitting next to her, but they were both asleep, Emmeline using Frank’s shoulder as a pillow. “What is the point in dating two people when they are both asleep when you need them?”

Hestia rolled her eyes, and glanced back at her cousin, “You love them.”

Alice looked at them sleeping again, and smiled, “Yeah, I do,” but then her tone changed quickly, “but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be backing me up right now.”

“I wanna be missed like every night, I wanna be kissed like it's the last time, say you can't eat, can't sleep, can't breathe without me, I wanna be held, fragile like glass, ‘cause I've never felt nothing like that, say you can't walk, can't talk, go on without me…”

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Mary stepped out of the car, breathing in the fresh air, which was thankfully not as tense as the air in the car, where her best friend almost revealed her not so great past with relationships. She stretched out her arms and cracked the joints of her back - the air wasn’t the only thing that was tense.

Sirius got out of the car and immediately tried to apologize to Mary. “I’m really sorry, Mary, it just slipped out, I shouldn’t have said –”. Mary cut them off again with a cold glare, and headed towards the house. Gin followed behind her, walking with the cane again.

Sirius just stood there, blinking back tears.

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After Mary got into the house, she set up Gwenog in her room, knowing that it was the cleanest of all the bedrooms due to obvious reasons. She gave Frank, Emmeline, Alice, and Hestia (the former two looked like they had just woken up) a tour of the house, and finally she collapsed on the couch next to Gin with a huge bag of crisps (that she really didn’t want to share).

She didn’t see Sirius, which meant they were probably in their room.

“I’m sorry that I left you sitting here alone,” Mary said, with an almost convincing forced smile. Gin smiled at her in return, and she could see he looked worried… or anxious. “I’m also sorry for what happened in your car too. Sometimes Si doesn’t know when to shut up.”

“You can tell me about it, you know,” Gin replied, looking at her, “I’m not easily scared off. I have some not so great exes as well.” He wasn’t planning on sharing this with her tonight, but he felt like she needed a push to open up about whatever Sirius had been talking about. “When I told my ex about me being trans, he wasn’t too happy. He was driving, and while he was scolding me for not telling him before, for tricking or whatever… he drove off the side of the road. We hit a tree. He walked away with some bruised ribs, but I ended up with old Janie here because of the injuries to my spine and legs,” Gin said, lifting his cane when he said Janie.

“You named your cane Janie,” Mary asked, chuckling a little bit before continuing, “Sorry, that’s not the point at all, I know. That’s horrible though. I can’t believe he reacted so badly.” Gin smiled softly at her when she put her hand over his, “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“Well, I’ve told you my bad ex story, would you be willing to tell me yours,” Gin asked, full of hope.

Mary took a long breath before starting, “Peter was Sirius’s friend before mine. They had been friends since they were eleven. I met Sirius around sixteen, back when they were dating Marlene, and they introduced me to Peter. And Peter was nice – he didn’t mind me being trans or queer. But when we started dating, he got a little aggressive. It was nothing bad, not really, just him grabbing my arm a lot, sometimes leaving bruises. But when I confronted him about him outing Sirius and Marlene, he gave me a black eye. When Sirius found out, they threatened Peter, said if he ever came near any of us again, they would call up their uncle and make sure Peter was charged with harassment.” Mary was rubbing her wrists throughout the story, still feeling his hands on her years later.

Gin pulled Mary into a hug and whispered, “I’ll never do anything like that to you. Or anyone.”

Mary smiled at him, setting the bag of crisps down and began leaning into the hug.

Gin continued when they pulled apart, “You need to talk to Sirius though, I can tell they’re sorry.”

Mary nodded, thanked him, and went off to find Sirius.

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Sirius was lying in their bed, waiting for Remus to get home. They were sick to their stomach, and felt like they had ruined Mary’s chance with the fanboy – who from the little interaction they had, seemed like a great guy for her. Better than Peter.

Sirius still felt guilty about that.

They heard a knock at the door, and then it opening. They turned in their bed to see Mary, anxiously smiling at him and looking at them as if she wanted to know if she could come in. They sat up, and gestured for her to come in. Mary joined them on the bed.

Sirius turned to her and said, “I really am sorry. About everything. From introducing you to Peter at all to bringing it up tonight.” Mary smiled and shook her head at them.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Si,” she said, “I however should apologize for getting so mad at you.” She pulled them closer to her, falling back on the bed. She then sighed and asked, “How badly do I want to take a shower now that I’m on your bed?”

Sirius thought for a moment and said, “Very badly, you want to take a shower very badly.”

They both laughed as Mary sat up and brushed off her clothes.

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Once everyone else got home, the afterparty began and of course, Marlene was the first to go up for karaoke. “I read the signs, I got all my stars aligned, my amulets, my charms, I set all my false alarms, so I’ll be someone who be forgotten, I’ve got a question and you’ve got an answer…”

Dorcas was sitting on the couch next to Alice, and both were drinking a fruity alcohol that neither could remember the name of at this point, and Alice said, “She sounds exactly like St. Vincent, she even gives off the same vibes.”

“I do a dance to make the rain come, smile to keep the sky from falling down down down down, collect the love that I've been given, build a nest for us to sleep in here, you know it's real…” Dorcas’s mind raced, thinking about what Alice was saying and what album this song was from, and whispered, “Annie Clark…”

“What,” Alice asked, turning towards Dorcas.

“Annie Clark. That’s St. Vincent’s real name,” Dorcas said, her mind still racing. She opened the notes app in her phone and began writing as many of her thoughts down as she could.

“I know, isn’t that the softest name for a rock star ever,” Alice said, her eyes wide as she saw some of the words on Dorcas’s phone. She couldn’t put it all together but she was excited nevertheless.

“I check my palms, the cracks in the sidewalk, my visions and my dreams, I cross all my fingers, that you'll be someone that won't be forgotten, what was your question, I've got the answer…”

Dorcas looked up, only having eyes for Marlene, and finally replied, “Yeah, yeah it is.”

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Regulus went up to bed with Lily around 2 AM and shortly after, James and Gin were both on the couch drinking a mixture of the alcohols that were in the kitchen and trying to convince Mary to sing. Sirius took a break from making out with Remus in a chair to encourage them and that was when Mary finally realized she had lost the battle.

Mary went to the front of the room and said, “I don’t know a whole lot of songs but here’s one that I’ve listened to hundreds of times and memorized.” She took a breath. “She's got me going crazy, talking to the, talking to the moon. adrenaline starts to overtake me when she. walks into the, walks into the room, at first I wasn't sure of it, then I was just ok with it, I cannot get enough of it. now I love it.” Sirius, James, and Gin cheered.

Mary looked at Gin when she sung the lyrics, “He shows me things I can't see, I like this feeling, like this feeling free, I feel no shame, not guilty, no I just feel more, I just feel more me…”

She felt so free while singing, though that could be the weed she and Sirius had broke out once Lily went upstairs, the smell of which they would have to clear up with Febreeze before they went to bed.

When she was done, she flopped down on the couch and said, “I’m sleeping here, I guess.”

“Same,” said James, “but I can sleep on the floor,” he continued, looking at Gin.

“Yeah, we’re going to bed,” Remus said, dragging Sirius upstairs.

“Be quiet,” Mary said to them, “there is a twelve-year-old sleeping in my room and I do not want her traumatized because of how loud you guys are.”

“We’ll just use the gags,” Remus said, clearly drunk.

Mary shivered, acting disgusted, before curling up against the couch, ready to fall asleep, “I did not need to know that.” James and Gin laughed.

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Lily and Regulus woke up around nine the next morning and began making cheese toasties for all the inhabitants of the house, knowing that it was at least James’s favorite hangover food. Regulus pulled out the jumbo pack of Ribena juice boxes out of the fridge, setting it on the counter.

“It’s time to wake them up,” he said, his eyes wide. Hungover twenty-year-olds were scary.

“Should we use the tuba or just the cymbals,” Lily asked evilly.

Fic Playlist

Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At the Disco

Wild Things by Alessia Cara

Too Good at Goodbyes by Sam Smith

Wanna Be Missed by Hayley Kiyoko

All My Stars Aligned by St. Vincent

Not a Phase by Jessie Paege ft. Lucy & La Mer

[zephyrbcll]

Zephyr/Remus DM thread 3

Date: April 5th, 1980 Word count: 18,073 Notes: Otherwise known as ‘the adulting dm’ 

Remus:

There was nothing that unsatisfied Remus like waiting irritably and dwindling his thumbs. Remus has read the same line from his book five times as his mind drifted to the Order meeting he was missing. He knew the empty chair would be loud enough and wondered if Fabian or Moody had clued in the reason of Remus’ lack of appearance. It still made his blood boil from the last week of being unable to do anything except read the articles. His fury led him to charge candidly into the Auror Department as well as the Regulation Department. Both had bit his temperament to bed and Remus was trying to gather his wits.  Already the news of Remus Lupin basically admitting himself for being a werewolf at the Ministry had reached the ears of his job and Remus barely contained himself there when his boss gently waved him off. There was nothing left for him and Remus felt like bargaining with himself. If he couldn’t be employed or do Order missions then what was left. Remus only raised his chin slightly when the door creaked open. He was practically immobile on the couch, setting his book down in his lap and gave Zephyr a raised brow. There was a hint of a welcoming smile but the recent events had stolen any sense of him. “Anything interesting tonight?”

Zephyr:

"You weren't there, so of course not." Dear god, did he want to yell at some of those idiots. Zephyr knew that he probably didn't have as much right to be angry as some, he hadn't been in the country for a full year and he didn't know everyone as well as others did, but he'd still liked Reg and now he was dead. He liked Peter, he was Zephyr's favorite of Remus' friends, and just because there were people that could boast closer connections didn't negate the anger that swirled through him or the uselessness. Shit like this was what he'd come to Great Britain to stop and yet each issue of the Prophet only drove home how ineffective the Order seemed to be lately. "Well, I might have yelled at a few people, but it wasn't actually productive yelling. More just emotional venting," Zephyr admitted with a sigh as he crossed the floor to the couch and reached out to place his fingers lightly beneath Remus' chin before bending over quickly and kissing him hello. "There aren't any leads on... fucking anything. No sign of Dorcas or the others, no clue who jumped Reg or why he was a thief, it's like we're all blind for all the good we're doing." Dropping down into the space next to Remus, Zephyr turned his head to look at him curiously, pretty sure he hadn't told him anything new or anything that he actually wanted to hear. "How about you, baby? Anything interesting with you tonight? You can tell me about your day while I make tea, if you want, I think it would be a nice change of pace."

Remus:

“I’m sure you don’t mean that,” Remus answered hastily, his brows frowning at Zephyr. They had both met at the Order meetings and Remus had been to enough to know each one carried unfortunate wright. It was not enough that his friends were dying and missing but his own life was at stake and he was raising it every day. Every single day Remus had felt his friends pitying him over and over again and the tainted realization of him being at the Ministry had affected him. “Might have? Emotional venting? I would be careful with that. I hear Moody isn’t prospective to that any longer.” The book closed in his lap and his finger trailed lines over the cover distractedly as he felt Zephyr’s movement change in front of him. He greets the kiss and wants to chase it more but feels his blood chill at his words. Lately, no updates had been just as worse as updates themselves. Remus didn’t know if they were still missing or just waiting to be found. “I don’t know how we started losing so intensely...they-I think at least we owe a debt to those families that have been crossed...” Remus feels Zephyr move and barely registers the question. “...I got-I got fired today-I-I guess my boss was smarter-...I don’t know what...I don’t  know what I am-sorry, I know that’s probably not what you meant-I’m tired of sitting...”

Zephyr:

"Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't throw something at me. He might have if it wasn't obvious that I'm not the only one that feels fucking frustrated with how things are going lately. Ever since that awards ceremony, it's like we can't catch our breathe." He sounded old, like he wasn't some sort of radical, but a professional that has been at their job long enough to sound jaded. Dear god, he sounded like some of the people his mother worked with. He didn't want to admit it out loud, but it did feel like they were losing and he didn't like that, especially not since defeat had never really occurred to him as a possibility before. How odd to realize that now. "As much as part of me wants to keep barreling in to fights, the truth is that if we don't watch out, we'd going to end up running into a trap and besides, you and I both know how hard it is to lose someone. Something needs to be done about that somehow." It seemed like no matter what they did, they were screwed. "You were fired? Shit." Zephyr had heard about the registration, of course, it seemed like that article headline was blaring at him no matter where he went and he'd very nearly gotten into a fight when he heard someone say something about monsters being locked up. Werewolf rights was not a cause Zephyr had ever pictured himself championing, but damn it, if people were going to use the bill as an excuse to start trashtalking them, then he just might start throwing punches. But in that moment, his hands were unclenched and his touch was light as he reached over to grab Remus' hand, not actually sure how to comfort him or what to suggest considering how idiotic the world had become overnight. "Don't apologize to me for that, baby. I'm sorry about your job, okay? Look, you're tired of sitting? You want to go somewhere with me? We can get you moving while you tell me what you want to do now. Do you want to find another job somewhere?"

Remus:

It was hard for Remus to listen to Zephyr talk knowing why he wasn’t at the Order meeting and was not surprised when there were no updates. Everyone was sharing the same frustrations and patience was running thin. “You mean Moody? I don’t think he’s the type...No-you’re right you aren’t the only one...Look-um...,” Remus began, sighing as he tried to get his words together. He had not gone into detail yet of why he was sitting on the couch and not being at the Order meeting, simply shrugging it of as being something Moody wanted for temporary reasons. “I...I might have been too frustrated with-with everything and I went to the Auror Department...yelled at Prewett-Fabian. I don’t know....” Remus pauses and rubbed his hand over his face exhausted. “I yelled at my dad too...Kingsley had to-I just thought you should know why...I wasn’t there tonight-Moody said my emotions are guiding me right now.” When he was done talking, his eyes found the floor and didn’t dare to look up. Saying it all aloud only made him tense and more frustrated with himself. He was a loose canon and couldn’t be trusted. Remus knew some might be a short minute away from putting a muzzle on him. Remus only nodded along to Zephyr’s words, already feeling like the fighting at the Ministry had caused him to sit down for a moment and think. This wouldn’t be what his mother would want or even Marlene. He needed to be patient for Peter and Dorcas’ return but he was boiling now. Remus stood up as gracefully as he could, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck and faced away. He was letting his emotions control his actions and now he was out of work. The man was kind and honest and Remus only did so in return, not wanting to rip his head off with his words like he did Fabian and his father. Remus knew sitting out of a meeting or two would be good for him but now time seemed to slow when he wasn’t behind his counter doing something for himself.

“Yes and I-I’m fine, alright? I just...It’s for the best.” He squeezed Zephyr’s hand in return and swallowed hard, his eyes gazing down. Remus finally looked up and laughed at his own expense, letting the hand he was holding with fall to his side. “I don’t know what I want to do now. I don’t know what I need to do now. No job will want me-no Wizarding job at least. I read the article same as everyone else-I haven’t even bloody signed the damn thing but I might as well be signing it with my blood. I can’t go to Azkaban-,” Remus was talking and out of breath, beginning to pace lightly. “No one will want me. Not when they know what I am. My father is not the only who thinks I deserve the Dementor’s kiss. I should have said yes to Dumbledore about the professor job instead of yelling at him-“ Remus stalled, his next words stopping in his throat and blinked at Zephyr. It had been months since Dumbledore came to him and Remus agreed. It felt like so long ago that Remus felt like he was only being led on a leash if he were to accept the job. He partly wish he had now given the circumstances and all things considered. Remus bit his lip hard enough to taste blood and turned hesitantly to walk to the kitchen.

Zephyr:

Considering the terrible news that filled the Prophet day after day, the deaths and disappearances all stacking up, Zephyr couldn't blame Remus in the least for being rustrated and wouldn't question anyone that said they weren't. He would also be a hypocrite if he judged anyone for being frustrated, his temper pushing him into a gym and in the direction of a punching bag until his arms wanted to give out. The first night he talked to Remus, really talked, they'd discussed anger and how to deal with it and Zephyr's tactics hadn't really changed that much, except he went to a gym instead of picking fights and throwing himself headfirst into trouble without regard for his own safety, mostly because he was pretty sure if he walked away with his head still attacked to his shoulders, Remus just might bite it off because he was stupid. So yelling at someone seemed understandable and Zephyr didn't immediately respond as he tried to picture Remus walking into the auror's offense and yelling. "Can I point something out?" He asked, although it was a good bet that they both knew he was going to keep going regardless. "One of your best friends is missing, along with other people, another of your best friend's just lost his brother, to name just one dead, and your dad just pulled a dick move that requires you to get registered like some kind of show poodle, which is really dehumanizing and the rest is just depressing. So I think you have three pretty damn good reasons to be emotional. I'd be more worried if you weren't emotional," Zephyr admitted, rubbing at Remus' knuckles. "But I do appreciate you telling me because no one told me a damn thing, just that we were going without you. So what, they've fucking benched you and put you in timeout until you cool off, is that what I'm supposed to be getting from this?"

That was insulting if he was reading the situation right and Zephyr was doing his best to keep his mouth shut and actually let Remus vent before going back over the entire thing with his own commentary. Was it too soon to get out the whiskey? Because it already seemed like it would be one of those conversations and Zephyr didn't bother to hide his frown at the idea that Remus being fired was 'for the best', especially not having hearing Remus talk about how good his job was. "You're not fucking going to Azkaban." Zephyr said, serious and uncompromising, the very idea of losing Remus to that place dragging out and instant denial. "Your father might be a bigoted asshole, but not everyone thinks like that. Dumbledore doesn't. The people I sat with tonight don't. Not everyone in the world is a clueless dick that's going to judge you without thought." And he still couldn't believe that Remus' boss had fired him after all this time, when he knew the kind of word Remus did and that he was a good person. Irritated at Remus' situation (he wasn't irritated at Remus, he understood the difference and hoped Remus realized it as well), Zephyr stood up to follow Remus into the kitchen and grabbed for two mugs, although he wasn't sure yet if they were for tea or whiskey. "Look, I'm not saying it will be an easy time for you to get a job or that you won't have to get a muggle job for a while, but don't go assuming the worst of everyone just yet, okay? Now, do we want tea or whiskey and what's this about Dumbledore and a professor job?"

Remus:

The recent articles and news that arrived unwelcome had shifted almost everything in Remus’ life and everything had only shifted this week. It was like he was being suffocated, his chest tightening every time he heard more bad news. There didn’t seem like there was even a glimmer of hope as he felt more buried by the deaths. His friends were dying and missing around him and Remus felt useless and helpless, frantically wanting to pull a solution out of a hat and get rid of the war entirely. He had nursed a glass of whiskey when Erika came home and tried to comfort Sirius the best he could but every act felt useless. He knew there wouldn’t be an end to this damned war anytime soon and expected the worse had yet to knock on his door. Remus felt disappointed in himself and after confessing him being rogue with his feelings he would understand if Zephyr was as well. “Yes, I know-I know. But I-I can’t just be emotional and I shouldn’t have. I...if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be sitting here being useless.” His hand tightened and Remus couldn’t even put into words how his father’s face stilled when Remus came in and argued his point. “So what? Zephyr I’m one argument away from being detained-I’m sure if it had been anyone else who did that in the Auror Department they wouldn’t be so lucky.”

Remus was twisting his fingers in his hair after spilling out his words. He would have thought he was under the Veritaserum again but he was shaking with frustration. There was not a day he had thought about signing his name down before the registration and he especially didn’t want to now considering the laws and implication not to mention the discriminatory that would only escalate when he signed his name on a public record. Remus didn’t even meet Zephyr’s gaze, just feeling himself tense. It didn’t seem as if he had a choice with the alternative. “Everyone will now, though. Don’t you see? Werewolves are clearly not on the right side of the war right now and everyone will just assume we are one in the same. I might as well have been there that night.” It was the truth and Remus had felt more like a victim of war than before. He was not there when Marlene and her family suffered but he felt a twinge of guilt knowing that monster was him as well. Remus worries his lip and turned his back, his hands resting on the counter and tried to regain his steady breath. “The bookstore wasn’t a very high profile job and they don’t even want me. I’m forbidden to work at the Ministry...not that I would-“ Remus stopped and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. It had been months ago and Remus had only told Marlene and now that secret had died with her. Remus’ lips twitched into a frown at holding onto the secret for so long and not being honest with Zephyr. “I-um...Dumbledore...he invited me to teach at Hogwarts. Be the new Dark Arts professor...He started asking about...the Order and Fenrir. I knew he just wanted me close to him for his own reasons...not for any other reason surely.” Remus fell into silence and closed his eyes and reminded himself to breath. “Whiskey is fine.”

Zephyr:

The use of his name prompted an odd reaction out of him, it made him sit up just a little straight, jaw go a little tighter as if he was paying more attention to the situation even though he'd been paying attention before. The use of his name instead of something else wasn't something he'd call a rare occurrence, but in that moment, it made things feel even more dire and made him view Remus more as someone panicking than anything else. And what was even worse was Remus had legitimate concerns and there wasn't any easy answer, he couldn't make it all better, and he hated that. He wanted to protect Remus, but dear god, it was like the world didn't want to let him. "You know me, I think it's healthy to let things out. I think sometimes you just need to punch something or break something to blow off steam, but yeah, fine, I admit that maybe you didn't have the best timing for it, that it wasn't the appropriate place. But give Moody time and you'll be back in the meetings. Focus on that, okay? Focus on proving Moody wrong instead of what you did wrong. And yeah, maybe they'd keep you overnight or something for losing your cool, but do you think you're the only person to get upset over a loss and storm the aurors office? Or the only one to get upset over a bill and protest? You didn't throw any punches and that's not enough to throw away the key for, not when it seems like some people are on the verge of fucking riots."

Of all the ways for Marlene to die, by a fucking werewolf attack had to be the worst and Zephyr had known that would tear Remus up. It sometimes seemed like he wanted to carry the weight of every terrible decision made by a werewolf on his shoulders and that wasn't fair at all, but Zephyr didn't know how to change his mind. "You're right. People are scared and if they know, they're going to take it out on you. But that's because they're scared people that are taking the easy target and they're not holding the right people responsible. It's not your fault and if anyone bothers you about it, you know you have a team of people that will punch them in the face because you deserve better even if you think you don't. That attack was not your fault and she wouldn't want you to blame yourself, so don't." He insisted, convinced he was right that Marlene wouldn't want Remus to feel guilty about it. Moving to the cabinet with the whiskey, Zephyr grabbed the bottle and didn't bother trying to get actual glasses, instead pouring a healthy serving directly into a mug and pushing it in Remus' direction before pouring some in his own mug. "I don't know, you seem like you could be a good teacher to me. It's not like he asked you to teach potions, so it's not like you'd be incompetent. But why is he asking about the order? Isn't he supposed to be top guy in charge?"

Remus:

Nothing was optimistic right now for Remus and everything was stained with blood. Everywhere seemed like it was crowded with bodies showing up, some familiar faces and some not. Everyone was innocent and being targeted for what they were. Remus was afraid for them and himself. This was a grim time for him to be experiencing and didn’t know if he can handle another body dropping. He was aware of his friends still missing and were somewhere out there. Already he had assumed they were dead just in case if they did show up mangled Remus would already be mourning. Remus couldn’t make eye contact now with Zephyr, his angered words slipping out of him with a projected tone and bite that sounded not like him. “Marlene thinks-thought that too. Said swinging a bat helped...I don’t think it’s the therapy that works for me.” He gave a tight and reassuring smile that Zephyr was at least trying to diffuse the tension built in his shoulders. “Moody thinks I’m a wild card...if I did even one more thing that jeopardizes my trust with him I won’t just be benched I will he removed. The biggest threat is myself...I dont have any names on my list to go off on but I’m sure I can find a few Death Eaters to match it with. People are rioting and shouting and I can’t even focus on that. Surely they have enough wits to change it but I don’t think they will.”

If Marlene had died another way this possibly could have been avoided but he couldn’t point and choose freely how people would die. Remus knew what people that about werewolves originally but the attacks was only stirring the pot. Remus knew during school and just by eavesdropping that some people thought they should be locked up and not be given rights. It was twelve year olds saying it and now it was grown men in power saying it. His own father had said he deserves death and Remus didn’t favor their dirty laundry being printed for everyone. “Trust me I can handle their comments. Words is not what I am afraid of. It’s what people hide behind when they are cowards. What I’m afraid of is in a month’s time being carted off to Azkaban for not signing their precious fucking paper. Violence isn’t what we’re supposed to be stressing ourselves over. If we punch back we are more in common...and I can’t-I won’t let anyone do that. I can fight my own battles...my father won’t change his mind. I saw it on his face. Doesn’t matter how many people reject it or rally against it. But it could have been! It could have been me that night. Merlin, I don’t know where I was that night. I could have killed someone and not know-if someone comes anywhere near me when I am that thing it might be the last time. The only difference between me and those that did attack her is i haven’t killed anyone. Don’t you see that?” Remus was shaking with anger, his fists curled by his sides before running a hand across his face to help sooth the frustration away. He could hear Marlene’s voice in his mind telling him none of that was true but it was. He was the same as them but the only difference was he did not have the will to kill but he could. His teeth were just as sharp and his claws would be just as lethal.

Remus crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the ground. “I don’t know if I want to teach anymore...have nothing to teach second years except defense spells that seem redundant to what I’m facing...Dumbledore...he asked about my missions. I think he wanted me closer to him to whisper in his ears.” Remus took the offered mug full of whiskey and braced himself against the bitter taste that filled his mouth. “I...I know I shouldn’t have yelled at him. Haven’t heard anything since.”

Zephyr:

"I don't..." God, he hated admitting this, hated feeling useless when Remus needed him, or at least needed something, but Zephyr was always going to give Remus honesty to matter how unpleasant it tasted on his tongue. "I don't know what kind of therapy works for you, but we can figure it out. If you say that's not what it takes, then okay, I'll cancel plans to take you to a gym and introduce you to a punching bag." Zephyr didn't think it was always enough to train with magic, he'd gotten into enough fist fights that he believed in physical training as well and Zephyr's mom had always told him not to trust his opponent and had likely taught him spells he wasn't supposed to know. It was unlikely she knew that her protectiveness and her rulebreaking would come in handy during a war, but teaching him to be good in a fight wasn't helping Zephyr in that moment. "Can he actually do that to you? That doesn't seem fair, how can he just stop someone that wants to fight?" He knew Moody was important, head auror with a good reputation and age seniority, but still. Sighing, Zephyr dragged a hand through his hair and couldn't help the thought that there was unlikely to be anyone in the order that didn't have an issue with a death eater.

"You're not going to have a choice but to sign it, are you?" He didn't want to see Remus forced to do that, but considering Lyall Lupin's place in the department, Remus was a known factor and couldn't pretend that he wasn't a werewolf. "Are you going to start blaming yourself for things you could do? Dear god, I could go out and murder someone, you don't need to be a werewolf for that. You have flashes, right? You remembered enough about that night with Fenrir to tell me about it, you really think you wouldn't remember something about that night with Marlene? Besides, I doubt the McKinnon home is anywhere near where you changed or where you woke up and there probably would have been blood on you. You're careful, you're not like the ones that got Marlene, so don't go around charging yourself for crimes you haven't committed. Being able to kill doesn't make you a killer, baby." Zephyr didn't know if Remus was in a state to hear that or if he was too torn up by Marlene's death to do anything but let his guilt eat himself up as he mourned. Regardless, Zephyr was going to be there to held ground Remus in reality even if he didn't like it.

"If you were a teacher, you'd be facing second years. You'd be trying to help them understand things like disarming spells so maybe they'd have a chance to run if someone comes after them at home, I think that's something to teach. But that's not the point. You think that Dumbledore... what, wanted you to inform on the Order for you?" That didn't sound good and Zephyr frowned as he sipped at his own whiskey, fingers tapping against the ceramic. Zephyr didn't have the strong feelings it seemed like everyone shared for Dumbledore and didn't have any trouble questioning his motives, wondering just why the hell he wanted Remus to be his fly on the wall. He knew Dumbledore had given Remus a mission, so asking about that wouldn't have been odd, but clearly something needed to be off for Remus to notice it. Maybe Dumbledore didn't trust Moody? "From what I've heard, Dumbledore is supposed to be a pretty important person, so is it actually unusual not to hear from him? Or is he out of contact with everyone?" Zephyr asked, trying to make sure he had the full picture. "I'm trying not to jump to conclusions, but you're making it sound like something is off."

Remus:

Remus hung his head and was fuming with the irritation built up over the past week. He hadn’t meant to expand upon it when Zephyr came home and should have put a foot in his mouth. This is why he didn’t humor people with his bitter thoughts as he saw Zephyr fumble over what to say. “A punching bag-I will day that’s probably better but not in the best interest...I don’t know what to do but anything is better than this.” He didn’t know what this was but vaguely put it as torturing himself with selfish thoughts during the war and worrying over the edge about his friends and funeral arrangements. That first night he chose drinking over punching something and he was sure to do it again but there was only so many times he could do that. “I don’t know what the problem is-I’m fighting aren’t I? Thought I was doing a better job than some but...’suppose I shouldn’t be fighting those in the Order...Moody is the one more in touch with Dumbledore and if he thinks I’m a risk then perhaps I am.” Remus had felt like his advantages were being stolen from him and he didn’t know what to do next. He should be out there fighting, at the meetings where he could be beneficial. He didn’t even know when he was meant to return and it was drastically making his importance not levied.(edited)

Remus beat the silence with a few answers but sighed as if defeated. Already he had laid out each consequence to his action if he did or didn’t sign it and had concluded there was only so little to be done. They had managed to weasel in this registration which plagued him. It was the worst case scenario. If he did sign it he would be agreeing to audacious ridiculing terms for the ministry of which he couldn’t get behind. If he didn’t sign it they would lock him in Azkaban where the dementors would await his fate. There was nothing he could do and even in the bleak cress of the moment he didn’t know any other alternative. He could go to Dumbledore but he couldn’t run from the Ministry forever. “I...I don’t know,” Remus said weakly, his tone trying to come up with something on the whim. “I can’t...I can’t run. They know who I am and where I live-but I can’t sign it. The Ministry...has had a file on me since I was bit. My father is in the department and a public figure. The Ministry knows who I am and what I am but I have to be the one that signs the document...I don’t know what to do.” Remus only wish everything that happened to him would have some sway with his father but that didn’t turn out well. It turned out just as he thought it would and cursed under his breath, dragging his hands to his eyed and sighing heavily.  The anger felt pent up in him and he turned suddenly with hurt mixed in his eyes.

“Gods, fuck I know that. But humans are not the same as werewolves-yes, you can go out and kill someone but if I so much as say I’m a werewolf I don’t have to kill anyone. They would gladly put a stake through my heart if they could. Yes, I have blurred memories and I wasn’t there-I know that...but they’re going to group me in anyway. It’s what they do-it’s, Fuck, it’s what they’ve already done. I was placed on a life sentence when I was bit when I was five and ever since then I’ve just been in purgatory....in school they said werewolves were primitive and monsters-it’s in the monsters chapter to be fair. I don’t have to kill anyone for people to blame me the second they know what I am.”

“I don’t think I would last in that school teaching...I know I would be alright. I don’t have any experience and unprepared for that...I’m sure Dumbledore found someone better without any risks invited to it.” That day seemed out of focus now and Remus stayed silent, weighing his words carefully. “I think he just wanted me close. To make sure I was okay...Took it the wrong way suppose...I look like a right idiot now don’t I? Could have a job-a real job and now...well what’s the point anyway?” Remus sipped timidly at his drink and let it steal his thoughts. Everything seemed like a game of chance now and every missed step would bring him two steps back. Since he was a child he looked up to Dumbledore like any child would do a great and powerful wizard. He recalled believing he wouldn’t be able to go to Hogwarts and then was invited by the Headmaster himself. It dented the picture of himself he had made in his room when he was alone about himself. Now, Remus had been searching for ways since to say thank you or feel like he owed Dumbledore something. He knew he should have accepted the professor role and took it in stride, not looking back. “He tries to keep in touch with the Order. Not so much now. I’m not...I’m not trying to. I trust Moody even if I’m constantly pissed at him. If anyone’s talking to Dumbledore it’s him.”

Zephyr:

"You know my methods. Fighting, drinking, sex, that's usually what I do when keeping my hands busy doesn't calm me down. I don't know what to suggest for you yet, but I'll learn and the drinking is probably a good start. I seem to remember smoking with you, too. I guess it depends on what calms you down. Do you need something to keep your brain busy or something that occupies your mouth or your entire body. Maybe jogging is your thing, maybe just soaking in a bubble bath or doing math, I have no fucking idea, but we'll work on it." He probably should have made more effort to figure it out after that first night, but the times he shared with Remus were good and his mood was better and somehow he didn't think of it again, which was stupid considering it wasn't like the source of their troubles had magically disappeared. "You know I'll tell you what's going on, right? You're not going to be in the dark and it's unrealistic to think that some of us won't get upset sometimes. If you just want me to sit here and listen, I can, but if you want me to talk to Moody and find out if there's something he wants to see from you or if he just wants you to sit out for a few days, I can do that, too." He wasn't going to talk to Moody or Fabian or anyone like that without Remus knowing about it, pretty sure that in the mood Remus was in, that would just earn yelling for interfering with his life. Which wasn't to say that he wouldn't ever do it, but not in this case.

Listening to Remus, he just sounded so defeated and Zephyr couldn't resist the urge to reach out and touch him, fingers curling around his arm and squeezing before slipping to Remus' back while Zephyr tipped his head, pressing a brief kiss to Remus' shoulder. "There's no group or magical lawyer working on fighting this? It was narrowly passed, right? Can't something be done to overturn it? You could move somewhere, but they'd find you again. I'm trying to think of a third option, but short of moving out of the country, I'm blanking. If they have a file on you, it sounds like you should already be tracked and they wouldn't need you to sign up, but who do I know, maybe they need your signature for some tracking spell of something. But I'm with you. Look, I know I'm shit at being useful right now, but I'm here and I'm listening." Zephyr reminded him, although he was soon enough left with the impression that he hadn't been listening hard enough. The moment Remus looked at him with hurt in his eyes, Zephyr felt terrible, beyond putting his foot in his mouth because he hadn't meant to say anything to put that look on Remus' face, not when he was in enough pain as it was. "Shit, baby, don't look at me like that. I'm sorry. You know I'd jump in front of that stake for you, right? it may not do much damn good, but I'm not going to let someone slander you just for being a werewolf, not even you. It's not right and you don't deserve it and maybe you're used to that, but you're not a monster. I swear, Remus, you're not. Now come here, okay?" Reaching out once more, this time Zephyr wrapped his arm around Remus' waist, stepping into his space and pressing a kiss to Remus' hair. He didn't know what to say or what to do to make it better and he hated it, he hated feeling like he was useless and like he was failing Remus, but he could at least hold him and try to understand.

"I think you'd do just fine teaching. You helped tutor people, didn't you? So that's experience right there and you'd have books to teach out of and if you needed help, I'm sure the others would help you make a lesson plan or whatever." Although Zephyr wasn't actually sure yet if going to work for Dumbledore was the best thing for Remus if he'd gotten a weird feeling from Dumbledore, he did think Remus had the makings of a decent professor. "I guess no matter how much we wish it to be otherwise, there's always gonna be shit going on that we don't know about with all of them. Dumbledore did ask a lot of you, but if you're a professor, would you really have that much freedom for the order? Although maybe he had some other role in mind for you. I don't know, but..." But the way people kept dying, no one could afford to have someone useful and willing sitting on the sidelines, but dear god, things were grim enough without thinking about it like that and Zephyr shook his head before sipping at his whiskey, feeling it burn all the way down. "You know, I bet you're not the only one that this has happened to, but not everywhere is firing people. Camilla still has her job and yeah, I know, she's a veela and not a werewolf, but my point was that I think she fucking owes people that lost their jobs, don't you think? Maybe get a list of places to put out their opinions on hiring werewolves and vampires and veelas, that way people without a job have some clue where to look."

Remus:

It was easy to remember the times that Remus would be excessively frustrated but school grades and dramas were less important than a war. Remus was being actively taken off from Order duties until he settled down and became calm again but there was no sense of knowing when that would be. Remus huffed in frustration, earning a small chuckle at Zephyr’s examples. “I remember. Told me the first day...Yeah, suppose that helps too. I think smoking and jogging are sort of counterproductive but I’m sure I’ll have a list of my own. When I was in school usually just walking around helped...otherwise. It’s not the first time I’ve…” A breath released from him and he gave a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He wish that there were more possibilities that could sooth him like Zephyr had. There were times he felt like a waste of space or standing for someone else to come in and take his place. Being away from his job and now the Order only made him feel suffocated with want. There were many things he could be doing to help instead of waiting by dwindling his thumbs for news. “Of course...but no one else is-is doing whatever the fuck I’m doing. Moody didn’t even say when I could come back.” Remus glanced away impatiently, thinking of the Order and Moody only reached a frustrating core. It only made him run thinner with the idea he wasn’t ready if he was so quick to anger at the thought of them. “-No. I mean, no. Just...if I want to talk to Moody, I will. His intentions are...usually trusting. If he thinks it’s best then...this is what’s right. I will have to practice being calmer. That’s what he wants.”

The reassuring touch only felt like a mocking burn but Remus didn’t pull away, only dropping his gaze and leaning his forehead on Zephyr’s shoulder in defeat. His heart was hammering in his chest and his pulse was quick in his throat. “I don’t think fighting it will do any good. Things like this...actual government orders. It’s harder. It’s more delicate. There are people protesting it, but I do not think it wise...it’s natural to want to do something. I know my father. He’s always stayed true to his own self. Otherwise he would be working on something this minute which I doubt that above all things. I’ve thought...about everywhere I could go. Scotland, Austria...America. They would find me and it doesn’t matter...a file is different than a signature. I...I don’t have all the information and I wish I had.” There was only a few facts of information he knew and the Prophet articles only aided little. The options were scarce and Remus still didn’t know what he should do. The registration seemed like a faded white noise counting down his seconds while more things took center in his mind. Remus felt his chest rise with every bated breath from his pent up words. He didn’t mean for his words to become aggressive but in the short sentence of silence he raised his hand to cover his eyes tiredly. He remembered telling Zephyr what he was a couple of months ago and now feeling a twitch of guilt in his stomach over telling him. It passed as he looked back at Zephyr and shook his head. “No, if-if that happens you are far more important. Please, don’t. I am not asking for you to be heroic...I’m only being honest. I think monster is just an umbrella term for all werewolves after what happened to Marlene and-” Remus felt his words run dry in his mouth as he was pulled against Zephyr. For a moment he tried to restrain himself but instead his head sunk against his shoulder once more.  There were more like him that were dealing with the same problem and it was selfish of him to be ripped apart. It felt like each breath was a sip of air gulping into his lungs and he felt crumbled over Zephyr’s shoulder, his hand gripping at Zephyr’s back.

Remus was aware of what Zephyr was doing and barely smiled in return, only being appreciative of Zephyr’s suggestion. “Yes, you’re right. I did...but it’s different-it’s completely different. I wanted to do it back before I met with Dumbledore and now the want isn’t wanted. I can’t...and especially not. I don’t think any Wizarding school would be more kind to a werewolf professor. I have to abandon that thought…” It was like letting go of a ghost thought that he hadn’t even wanted until he had it. It was slipping from his fingers and now he wish he had taken the position. “I can’t...I can’t be that anymore. It wasn’t meant to be and there’s nothing good coming out of wanting it. So, please. Don’t remind me anymore.” Remus could feel the wheel of hope beginning to dwell and his eyes only landed on the glass in his hands. Maybe things were different if he had accepted it but it wouldn’t do any good. “It was-was humiliating…” He stilled when Zephyr mentioned Camilla and his lips twitched into a mocking smile. Camilla was the one who was wrapped around his father’s finger and the one who was pretending to know his family. She seemed to pretend to know what he was going through when she barely even scratched the surface.

“Don’t,” Remus warned, glancing back at Zephyr with some heat in his eyes. “She’s different and she knows that. Why else do you think she was campaigning for the registration to be done? She knew what she was doing so I don’t think it’s fair to sympathize with her.” Remus knew there would be times that he would get impatient with Zephyr or frustrated but didn’t think he would treat him the same as Fabian or Moody. The same irritation stirred but he controlled him simply by raising his drink to cover his lips. “If a bookstore or the Ministry doesn't want me I think everyone else will follow the same standard. It’s pointless.”

Zephyr:

Against his willing, Zephyr ended up snorting in amusement at the mental image of Remus trying to smoke and jog at the same time and had to grin at it briefly before returning to the seriousness of the conversation. Walking didn't seem like anything special or unique, but then again, who would have guessed folding paper was something that would help with Zephyr's temper? He wasn't going to judge and instead he nodded along, thinking about the garden trails that he'd seen advertised because they were opening for spring and sure there had to be a forest or something around that Remus could show him and they'd go hiking or something, maybe he could see where Remus spent the full moons if he didn't manage to completely piss Remus off. Holding up his hands as if in surrender, Zephyr wasn't about to try arguing for the right to talk to Moody because he'd already known that Remus wouldn't like the idea and while there may have been some subjects he'd push, that wasn't one of them. "Okay, fine, I wouldn't say anything to him. He probably didn't tell you when because he wasn't sure how long it would take you to calm down and control your temper. If you want to take up hiking, we can do that, if you want to practice meditating, we can do that. I hate admitting I have no clue what to do, but I'm going to support you, I hope you know that." Considering everything out of his mouth seemed to be making matters worse, Zephyr wasn't sure what to say beyond reminding Remus that he wasn't alone.

Taking advantage of the way Remus bowed his head, Zephyr ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of Remus' neck and squeezed reassuringly for a few seconds before letting go. "I hate them for doing this to you. I've questioned their decisions before, but this... christ, I don't need to tell you it's unfair. For what it's worth, MACUSA doesn't have a registry like this, but I'm not going to pretend for a single minute that I think you'd run." There were bound to be other people in the order that worked in the same department as Remus' dad that could get the information Remus wanted, but Zephyr didn't now if that would look strange or not. "Think there are people in your dad's department that fought back against it? If thee are, they could be a good start." He suggested and immediately biting down on his tongue because he'd meant to stop offering suggestions and solutions and instead just listen to Remus since he seemed to keep saying the wrong thing. It felt like there wasn't any solution to be found, but no matter how frustrating it was not to be able to fix the problem, it wasn't about him and what he wanted, it was about Remus and if all Zephyr could do was hold him and give him whiskey, that's what he'd do. "I'm not trying to be heroic, I'm trying to take care of the guy I'm in love with because you are what's important to me, okay? I don't know the right thing to say in situations like that and I'm going to fuck it up, but remember that much for me, okay?" It wasn't an excuse, he'd admit it if things came out wrong because he was learning about Remus' struggles as he went, but his end goal was the same. He loved Remus and he wanted Remus to be okay. He wondered if maybe Remus would feel better if he got drunk and cried and let himself mourn Marlene, but he didn't say that as Remus buried himself in his arms. Squeezing Remus tightly, Zephyr hand his hands fisted in the back of Remus' shirt as he turned his head to press his face against Remus' hair.

He wanted to fight back against the idea of Remus having to let go of what sounded like a dream of his, argue about the idea that Remus wouldn't be able to do something just because he was a werewolf. There was no goddamned reason why a Wizarding school shouldn't be kind to a werewolf professor unless it was staffed by idiots and racists and while Zephyr had always known the world and the people who governed the countries in it were flawed, never had he been so angry at the injustice as he was then. He wanted to argue about it, but Remus sounded so sad that he couldn't and Zephyr had to keep reminding himself that no matter how enraging he found things, no matter how upset and heartbroken he felt over Remus' stories, Remus was still the one feeling it and he was likely to feel so much worse. "I believe in you, but I won't remind you." Zephyr agreed quietly, feeling defeated and sipping quickly at his whiskey in an attempt to numb the hollowed out feeling in his chest and he was surprised when it ran empty. How had he ever finished it so quickly? Sighing, Zephyr reached for the bottle and poured more in his before adding to Remus' mug without even checking what he had left. It was humiliating. No one should get to do that to Remus and he set the bottle down before edging closer, side brushing up against Remus in quiet support. "Want to tell me what happened?" That way he'd know just how badly he wanted to punch Remus' former boss and if he wanted to break his nose if Zephyr ever saw the man again.

Really, he should have known that mentioning Camilla would be a mistake. If he had to name someone for Remus to have as an enemy, chances were that Camilla would be his first guess and normally Remus' distaste of her alone would be enough reason for Zephyr to keep his distance, but considering they worked together, that was a little hard. Besides, Remus had also given an opinion before that implied that Zephyr probably shouldn't start fights with people just because they upset Remus and that he probably shouldn't get himself fired. He really wished Remus would chance that policy, though. "Trust me, I'm not sympathizing with her. I'm saying she needs to take some goddamn responsibility. You really think I'm just going to forgive her for doing something like this to you? Because I'm not. I know this is hurting more than just you, but you're the one I'm concerned with. I hate the idea that it's going to be a trend to hate someone for something like this, but this country already has a problem with hating people for their blood. Maybe you will have to get a job in a muggle shop." The words tasted like ash in his mouth, like defeat, and Zephyr grit his teeth before huffing out a breath. "I wish I could just make them open their ideas and realize they're being idiots, but it's not that simple and I know that, just like I know that no matter how much I hate this, I don't get how hard it is on you. So I guess the real question is what do you want to do now?"

Remus:

Even at school in his adolesence he had managed to ground his temper and be void of it. If that was because he was agile in ignoring it or because it simply did not have the same gravity as it did now. At school he would walk around the castle just as he did now except it was familiar and some unfamiliar streets until his mind was cleared. Remus couldn’t trust himself to handle stressful situations in the moment. Already he had managed to find a way to be excluded from Order meetings and knew it wasn’t just because of his physical fight with Fabian at the Auror offices. It was something Remus did not pride himself on and thought lowly of. It would be hard to hone in on his frustration now. He knew what he had done had left a dent in whatever foundation relationship he had with Fabian and knew word would get around about what happened. Of course Fabian would tell Austen and perhaps Gideon of what happened, something that didn’t sit well in his stomach along with other sharpened feelings. When he saw that Zephyr was not being a threat he simply waved his hand dismissively and sighed. “Moody was vague. I suppose I have jurisdiction over when I can attend meetings again...or at least that was what was implied. I don’t-I don’t know what I want or need. You’re here. You’re helping me. Trust me.” Remus voice was thin as he locked his gaze with Zephyr to emphasize his reassurance. “Without you I would be starting fights with everyone.”

Remus head felt heavy as he leaned against Zephyr, his eyes shutting and trying to shut away other thoughts. There were few times that Remus got into a shrill panic over complicated matters and it was not the best place to see him. He knew it would be easy for Zephyr to push Remus away and tell him to stop behaving so foolishly like a child. It was what Remus was thinking of himself as well as that Zephyr shouldn’t see him like this. He sighed against the touch massaged at his neck and breathed shakily out. It was inevitable that this would happen and the small twinge of hope that Remus had for the Ministry was stolen when the registration came out. “They’ve been talking about doing this for years. Even when the government wasn’t counseling over it I heard about it at school. They think creatures are dangerous and they have proof we are,” Remus said flatly, not amused with how everything was being spun out. Of course Remus had thought about leaving the country several times but every time he did he knew that he would be apprehended eventually. Remus remembered being in his father’s department and how everyone seemed in their own headspace and not minding him at all. They were all focused on the registration and none of them seemed bothered by Remus’ presence or what they had done. Remus shook his head mutely against the suggestion, knowing it would be a waste of time to try and convince the people who did this to undo it. Remus bit his tongue, a frown forming in between his brows as he leaned against Zephyr

“I can’t fix what happened, alright? No one wants it to be fixed-I can’t do anything about it. I don’t want optimistic thoughts...nothing will be changed. At least not now.” His words were bordering harsh and Remus tilted his head back for a moment and just tried to breathe as his lungs felt hard in his chest. He knew that Zephyr was trying and trying to make Remus feel better, something he did see and appreciate. The familiar rise in his chest however was what was infuriating him now and pushing against whatever was being said. His chest would rise and fall in tandem and he just continued clutching at Zephyr in return, feeling like there was nothing else he could do.

Remus was rewarded selfishly when the conversation about him being a professor soon died. It wasn’t something that he ever thought he was capable of doing but the opportunity had been something he mulled over before the interview. It would have at least led him to a job if he could have seen himself falling out of the one at the bookstore. Of course there had been no way to know but out of all the people he had yelled at in the past couple of months he wish he could erase what happened with Dumbledore. He trusted him and he completely butchered whatever trusting friendship they had. Remus sipped at the shallow contents in his mug, feeling his face tingle with the familiar taste of whiskey that was only help numb the other feelings from the past week. It was well needed and Remus didn’t need to say that aloud. He nodded his appreciation quietly as Zephyr filled his mug up once more and at the question went still. For a moment he was quiet, placing his mug on the counter before pressing his palms to his eyes. It was an exhausting day to remember and when he dropped his hands to his sides he exhaled a sharp breath. “I was late. I thought he was firing me because I was late. Apparently Price had a suspicion of what I was and when he read about the registration and the attacks...he said he didn’t think I was fit to work there. Said he had known for a while and couldn’t have a...couldn’t have me working there anymore.”

The mention of Camilla left a sour and bitter taste in his mouth and his stare hardened on Zephyr for mentioning her at the time. His father had become close with her and Camilla apparently had known his mother. The audacity for her to even think she was involved in his family had been cruel and unsatisfying. She had held his mother’s hand when she was sick and walked through the same halls he had at his home in Wales. After the registration, Remus didn’t need to pretend to like her and he moved past Zephyr, brushing his shoulder as he did and faced away. “You don’t have to pretend to be against her for my sake-I know you two are friends. She said she knew my mother-it was completely blindsiding. My father probably thinks her as his daughter-a child that isn’t cursed. I have no reason to like her so I would appreciate if you don’t mention a damn word about her.” Remus was clutching his glass harder than before and his gaze fell to the side. “The Ministry is just a form of government built on what they think is right and ignorant to anyone else. If I’m seen as a danger then I can hardly say I’m not-if I argue I’m not then I am for trying to make a point.” Remus breathed out slowly, his hand reaching to his forehead and closing his eyes. Of course if he needed money he would need to find another job and if a bookstore couldn’t accept him then he didn’t have the trust that any other place would. He wasn’t about to resort to asking people for money but knew a muggle establishment would be his best bet. He didn’t need more people knowing what he was and being exposed for the registration was not aiding him in anyway. In a softer tone, Remus breathed out and shrugged his shoulders helplessly. “I don’t know-just be here. I-I don’t want to be a broken record and complain like this everyday and it’s selfish of me for doing that to you...Just don’t leave, please.”

Zephyr:

He didn't see exactly how he was helping since Remus seemed to be taking insult in almost everything he said, but then again sometimes you just needed an outlet and if Remus lost his cool and yelled at him, so what? That wasn't going to get him banned from the Ministry or kicked out of order meetings, the worst that could happen was that it would end up hurting his feelings, but Zephyr knew Remus wasn't actually trying to do that. Sometimes people got pissed and needed to let off steam and he didn't fully understand the gravity of what was going on, he knew it and he admitted it, he had no idea how badly Remus was suffering and could only compare it to what he'd experienced. How would he have felt if they hadn't caught the one responsible for his mom dying? How would he have felt if he couldn't have joined the order at all to try making things right? Hell, how did he feel just standing there, seeing Remus upset and knowing he couldn't do a damn thing to fix it? Zephyr may not have understood exactly, but he didn't need to understand to actually be there while Remus dealt with things. "Fights with everyone, huh? I didn't realize I had a bad ass for a boyfriend. But if being here and giving you alcohol while you want helps, you got it. And we can start looking into jogging trails or something, we can drink and walk and figure things out." Although at that moment, he wasn't sure if they'd be walking any further than the couch since if he had to guess, it was going to be the kind of night where they killed the entire bottle and Remus woke up miserable. Rubbing at the tendons at the back of Remus' neck, Zephyr knew that being understanding wasn't his strongest trait, but tomorrow would be one of those days where he put his ability to pamper to use if he was right about how bad Remus was going to feel.

"Anyone can be dangerous. They're persecuting you because they want to say they're doing something to keep people safe when the death toll keeps climbing. Werewolf deaths don't even make up ten percent of the deaths and - right, sorry. Not helping. Shutting up now." Although he was right and he knew it, damn it. Arguing about details and how unfair it was to someone that had been suffering because of that same unfairness was perhaps not his most compassionate move and he could at least wait until Remus wasn't so irritated to actually do his own complaining about the measure. He was trying to soothe Remus, not rile him up, although Zephyr knew he was going to have a lot more luck with the later if he couldn't stop himself from running off at the mouth. "I know I have no clue how much shit you've had to put up with in the past and that being offended on your behalf isn't actually doing anything, I'm not actually trying to remind you of how shitty things are. Can't believe I'm being the optimistic here, I just hope that one day all those idiots pull their heads out of their asses and things get better. But until then, I'm in your corner willing to chew people out." There was a difference between being positive and being supportive. You could say that everything would be fine, that there was no reason to be upset, but that didn't actually do anything to make someone feel better, it didn't change that they felt miserable and instead said they didn't have a right to feel bad. You could give them a hug or ice cream and be there, that was more useful, or at least his dad had tried to impress that upon him before, and Zephyr may not have had ice cream, but he did have alcohol and he tightened his grip on Remus, rubbing between his shoulder blades. Anger was still bubbling inside of him, a righteous sort of indignation because Remus should have been free to walk outside the day of the full moon, to be a professor. Maybe one day.

Hold loosening on Remus, Zephyr kept an arm around his waist as they resumed drinking, trying to recall if he had a pack of cigarettes somewhere around. He didn't think so, smoking was something he seemed to only do with company since moving to England, and he denied that their word choice had anything to do with it. He'd shared a smoke with Remus when they first met and so while he was willing to guess that it helped, he didn't have any stored away for unexpected fits of emotion by anyone and wasn't actually sure if he wanted to change that. As he listened to Remus explain what happened, Zephyr exhaled slowly and reconsidered that cigarette as he took another sip of his drink, remembering how amused he'd been once about Remus always sleeping in and being late to work, how they'd talked about Remus shifting his schedule so he didn't have to work mornings and could sleep in. It used to be amusing, but now... now Remus could sleep in all he wanted, but Zephyr couldn't help but feel anger. Later, that was for later because Remus was the one that was dealing with his problems right them. "So it was fine as long as no one else knew, but now it's an image problem. But I guess your monthly pattern became obvious after a while." The bad thing was, the man probably had a case for firing Remus for being late, he could have let Remus go thinking it was that, and Zephyr didn't know if he should hate the man for his honesty in the reason, hate him for his cowardice in refusing to keep Remus employed, or be grateful that at least Remus wasn't going to wonder about the reason. He usually respected honestly, but it seemed he could do that and still be angry about the outcome.

As soon as Remus glared and bumped into him as he brushed past, Zephyr knew that he'd put his foot in his mouth again and somehow managed to piss Remus off somehow, although at least he wasn't left guessing just what the problem was. "You and I have a different definition of friend, I think. You told me once not to go picking fights with my coworkers, remember?" To be precise, Remus had said not to lose his job because of him, because Zephyr had started picking fights with someone just because of Remus. Zephyr didn't hate Camilla, but he did hate how she upset Remus and just because he could spend time around her without throwing a temper tantrum didn't mean he wanted to exchange secrets with her and go for a drink together like he did with Juniper, it didn't mean he was going to stick his nose in Camilla's love life or pester her for baked goods like he did with Daisy. "But I won't mention her." She's not a replacement for you. She could never be as special as you. He thought the words, but he didn't say them because Zephyr knew how sore of a topic Remus' mum was and considering how his dad treated him, having the man take in a girl that was part creature had to be hurtful if not infuriating.

"Damned if you do and damned if you don't, basically, because the people in power are thriving on fear and they'll spin everything to be against you like every other politician." In spite of his mother's profession (most likely because of it, in all honesty), Zephyr didn't have a lot of trust or respect for governments in particular and the Ministry kept going down in his opinion the more he learned about it. "Baby, look at me." He coaxed gently, circling around Remus to be within sight line before reaching out to touch Remus under the chin briefly. "Just look at me, okay? You have every fucking right to complain right now. This isn't something to be quiet about and don't even pretend like you wouldn't be listening to me complain if something upset me, so don't call yourself selfish, okay? I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you and you're not losing me. Seems to me that you'd be more likely to kick me out because I keep putting my foot in my mouth. Come on, let's move to the couch, I've got the bottle." Zephyr declared as he lifted the bottle and waved it around to make his point.

Remus:

Remus needed to get out of his head for the more time he spent listening to his thoughts the more paranoid he was becoming. This was the most reckless he had been in a while and he knew choices had consequences but he felt like some universal karma was biting him in the arse for something he did years ago. He didn’t expect to lose almost everything in a single month and yet the fates were mocking him with everything. Remus had lost his friends, his job, his control, and somewhere in all of that himself. There was a balance that was off and Remus was desperate to temper it. Remus knew Zephyr was trying to be teasing but he shook his head dismissively. “I’m not being a good boyfriend-I’m not being a good person. It’s not bad ass to do what I’m doing...nothing good about it. I don’t know what’s happening.” Remus tried to remember all the good moments in the past months and all the times spent with his friends instead of worrying about this, filling his head with negative thoughts. It was barely clear and cohesive thought in his mind but knew being here with Zephyr was helping. It was fueling him to be better and not let his emotions get the better of him. “Drinking, smoking, walking. All are more preferred coping methods than what I’ve done this week...can’t believe I got kicked out of the Ministry twice.” Remus leaned against Zephyr and welcomed the touch with appreciation, smiling despite what he was feeling and saying.

Remus knew what a werewolf-what he was capable of. The sharp teeth and the blood he craved when he was a werewolf. There were blurs he remembered like chasing a rabbit or another animal but animals was the only thing he hunted and knew he could rip a human apart and barely remember it. It wouldn’t be him thinking about the actions but he could remember parts the next morning. Of course none of that had happened but he knew that animal was within him somewhere and he knew what it was capable of. Remus glanced away as Zephyr said how dangerous werewolves were and how dangerous people thought they could be. “Thank you,” Remus said breathlessly, tilting his head back and closing his eyes with a sigh. He read about what happened to people during werewolf attacks and knew the details without being told them. There are many things I haven’t told you...about my father. About my mother. Maybe I will...but my father-what he said in the papers-he’s said that to me before. I’ve been tied down when I was a child and at school-it was fine but no one liked werewolves once they learned about them. There’s nothing to like about them. They’re ugly and vicious-and hopefully you never see me like that.”

Remus was grateful for Zephyr being there and talking to him through all of these obstacles. It was hard to do alone and he barely did it at all. The company of words that made him feel human and suffering from problems no one could relate to but felt like Zephyr was trying to help was enough. The pain that drilled through him every month could last for days or a week depending on how fatal the injuries were. Of course he would just tell his boss he was sick but eventually he knew that would become a lie and it would be more obvious, especially when he was only taking days off around the full moon. Remus should have been more careful or at least been honest instead of lying every month about who he was. Adam had not seemed hesitant when he fired Remus but he didn’t want to relive that memory. “Adam is...he is a fine man. Sometimes. Elena was there and talked to me, but...Adam is also smart. Of course he found out and with the attacks and more attention to werewolves I’m sure he is scared. Like everyone else. I hate it. No one else will want me.”

“Oh, do we?” Remus echoed, carefully wording his sentence sharply. It was rare he ever actually got frustrated but now he could feel the heat rising in his throat. “I’m not saying to bloody punch Camilla in the face. Gods, that’s not what I’m saying. She is your coworker, yes, I’m aware. I would rather not hear her name or anything about her with all due respect. Hopefully you can consider that before doing so.” Remus felt his chest rising and his frustration rising with it, turning away sharply and drinking the rest of his second drink. The burn felt numb in his throat and he ignored it. Every time he heard Camilla’s name or anything about her, Remus thought about her relationship to his family and her father and what they did together. It made him feel stomach weak and he faintly heard Zephyr resign the conversation.

“Yes, well. I’m damned entirely.” Remus knew what people would be saying and didn’t want to hear anything about it. Everyone was against the werewolf reforms and other creatures and there was little Remus could do and he knew he needed to be registered. Remus heard Zephyr close to him and tipped his chin up. Finally, his eyes looked up and he forced himself to stare back. “I know, but...I feel like that’s all I’m doing and eventually I feel like I will hurt you or something will happen. Just stay here with me...I promise I don’t have to talk about myself like this if you don’t want to hear it. Please, let me know if I’m being hard.” Remus stayed in his place for a moment and watched as Zephyr made his way to the couch. He felt a twinge better than he did before, but still he felt lost for every thought he was feeling. Silently, Remus pushed himself from where he was standing and followed behind Zephyr. At least he deserved a drink and if Zephyr was going to take it from him, he had no choice but to follow. Remus sat down on the couch, feeling his muscles relax and leaned himself on Zephyr’s shoulder. “Give me that damn bottle. Please.”

Zephyr:

"A bad person wouldn't be worried about not being good." That response came out instantly, it wasn't something that Zephyr even had to think about because that was something his mom used to tell him. Bad people didn't feel guilty about what they did, good people did. Good people wanted to be better and bad people wouldn't try. "And you're being a good boyfriend by letting me know what's going on in your head, so even if you don't want to cut yourself any slack, I'm going to do it for you until life stops sucking so much. I'll still hold you responsible if you screw up, but you're not a bad person even if you feel like one." Hadn't they had this same conversation about him being a werewolf before and being a monster? Some people had issues that kept popping up and Zephyr wasn't surprised at all by the idea that this was one of Remus'. "I know you're not happy about it and I shouldn't be encouraging you, but getting kicked out of the Ministry twice does sound pretty bad ass to me," Zephyr admitted, pausing before kissing Remus' hair and adding quietly, almost in explanation. "My mom would have been impressed." And that meant something to Zephyr even if it wouldn't mean anything to Remus. His mom may have been a ministry employee, but she also advocated for keeping an eye on your government instead of trusting them blindly and Zephyr liked to think she wouldn't have been a fan of the shit they were pulling by taking advantage of people's fear, either.

It would be impossible to learn about someone's entire childhood in the short amount of time he and Remus had known each other because for as normal as if felt for their lives to mesh together most days, Zephyr knew that the stress from the war could have impacted how quickly they bonded and was most likely responsible for the way it seemed like they'd know each other for ages when in reality, it hadn't even been a full year. But no matter much Zephyr did or didn't know about Remus' parents, he'd heard enough about Remus' father the night they got together to know that he thought the man was an asshole and he didn't particularly approve of his parenting methods. "You don't have to tell me about any of that until you're ready. I know enough to know you have good reason to be pissed at your dad and maybe he had his reasons, but I don't like the idea of them tying you up. Guess maybe it's because you were a kid and kids just deserve better than that." He'd made a quip once about tying Remus up and while he didn't remember exactly what Remus had said in response anymore, he remembered getting the distinct impression it wasn't something he should bring up unless he wanted to upset Remus and it sounded like he'd found out why.

Since they'd started dating, Zephyr had tried not only to learn as much about Remus' transformations as he could, but also as much about his life as possible and part of that came in the form of his friends and his work. Zephyr had visited Remus enough to have met his coworkers, Elena had helped him out before and while Zephyr wouldn't go so far as to say he knew Adam, but that didn't stop him from wanting to track the guy down and have a few choice words with him. Logically, yes, he had the power to fire Remus. Logically, fine, he probably could have made a case to fire Remus for all the times he was late and sure, Zephyr acknowledged that sneaking off while Remus was working to trade off blow jobs was probably frowned upon in most bookstores, but that was logic and Zephyr was fueled more by emotion and his heart said his boyfriend was hurt and he should fucking do something about it. Listening was what would actually help Remus, but damn, was it hard to convince himself to just sit back and not do anything. "How did Elena feel about it?" He asked in what he thought was a tactful avoidance of debating yet again if anywhere else would want Remus to work for them.

He was trying to be tactful. He was trying to be useful and patient and understanding, he was trying to push down his own anger in response to Remus' problems and it wasn't personal, but for the first time since the conversation started, Zephyr felt irritation flare up in response to how Remus was reacting to him. "I get that you're pissed right now, but count to ten and breathe." He said shortly, taking his own advice and drawing in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Not terribly helpful, but at least it kept him from snapping back and forgetting what his real goal was. "The only reason I brought up her name was as a suggestion to help you, I wasn't trying to make things worse. It was a suggestion, it was a shitty one, I'm working on keeping my ideas to myself and listening, but remember that even when I screw up, I'm on your side and not going to pick anyone over you. Conversation over."

It was likely a good thing Zephyr never had the grades to follow his mom's career track because chances were his temper would have gotten him kicked out in a span of months and then all that work would have been for waste, but maybe he would have been in a better place to argue for Remus. Or maybe not if he could sway public opinion, he didn't know, but first was working on Remus' opinion. "We're going to hurt each other's feelings sometimes, it will happen. Then we'll kiss and make up and be stronger for it. You can complain all you want, but I'm still going to tell you when you're being too hard on yourself." He was sure Remus meant too hard to handle, but he ignored that and conveniently interpreted how he wished to. Settling onto the couch, Zephyr handed over the bottle to Remus before wrapping an arm around him, playing with his hair while holding him close. "For what it's worth, I'm proud of you." He said quietly. "And don't argue. I'm not talking about for getting fired or getting kicked out of the Ministry, I'm proud of you for sitting here and talking about it instead of bottling it up. I'm proud of you for caring enough and wanting to see things done to get in trouble in the first place and not just locking yourself up somewhere to break you. That's what they want and you're not doing it. I'm proud of you."

Remus:

There was always a time he knew that Remus needed to stop talking before he deepened the conversation off the ledge. His heart was hammering in his chest and the topic of him not being good was something he thought he needed to argue, his lips already twisting to reply but his words died in his mouth. This whole month had led him to believe that but Remus was struggling with the reality of what he was for years before it was printed to the masses. Everyone thought he was abnormal now, people he didn’t even know that if they knew that about him they would be leaving or advocating for him to behind bars. Remus was short to agree with them but knew there were others like him, others that were dealing with unsolicited remarks already and Remus was fortunant or a coward to not face the public with the same boldness. “They’ll say I’m a bad person. They are expecting me to react and I did and...look where that led me.” It was a dismissive thought and he knew his actions had been impulsive but the only one he felt the most guilt for was Fabian and Moody. It was something he couldn’t take back. A first fight that he wasn’t expecting. A fight with his father was only normal but in front of a crowd was a fear that Remus overcame quickly. Remus didn’t argue with Zephyr, smiling inwardly at the comment. “Yes, well. I don’t think losing a job and losing a position in the Order for a few weeks is the reward for being a bad ass-” His explanation stopped and he gazed up at Zephyr with a soft smile. “Yeah? Did she get kicked out as well once or twice?”

There was so much to comb through to even reach where Remus was today. Every thought and effort that led him to doing what he did was because of who he was and not really what he was, al though it was a strong character trait as well. It had been a normal childhood for the most part ignoring the one day a month that everything wasn’t normal. But from their conversations before and times Remus felt the urge to talk about his past, he knew Zephyr got the impression of who his father was. “Thank you...it’s just. Weird, I guess. I accepted who and what I was because he told me that. It was never weird to me. But hearing other people’s childhoods...and what they did and what I didn’t. I didn’t realize I was different-I mean of course I did but I didn’t realize how much I missed out on because my father was being dramatic. I suppose he thought locking me up every day even on the full moon was for the best. People in the town would talk and he never liked rumors. My mother though...she was always there. She treated me like an actual kid. Gave me memories. She was my only friend until school, actually.”

It had been a few years that Remus worked at the bookstore. He started not soon after he graduated and knew it was a good opportunity to earn money going forward for rent and other expenditures. It wasn’t something Remus looked forward to, but now his days felt even more lonely without having something to do. There was no job and he was living off of the last few checks and some money from friends that he didn’t want to touch yet. Remus shrugged his shoulders against the question. “She came out after me when I stormed out. I didn’t tell her why I was fired but it was nice to talk someone directly after. I know Adam and I rarely got along but I thought he was better than letting me go because of this...I don’t even know where to get a job-if somewhere finds out I’m a werewolf after a month of absences they will fire me. If purebloods find out I’m working at a muggle place, they will find me. I don’t exactly know where to look now.” Remus knew the professor job at the school would be the best for him if he had compromised his frustrations with his actual income needs. It would have been more beneficial now with everything but knew there was a chance of the same thing happening at the school. Parents could be furious at Dumbledore for allowing him to work there if they knew and that wasn’t a line he wanted to cross quite yet.

The mention of Camilla stirred heat in his words and he was trying to swallow his frustration but his mind was hung on the idea of her. This had been a shared effort of her fault and Remus could easily point a finger at her for advocating for the registration as if someone like her couldn’t be hurt as well. Remus remembered her in the bookshop that day, trying to get Remus to listen to her but Remus would much rather hit a book over his head than listen to what she needed to say. His fists were curling by his sides and tried to ration his thoughts as Zephyr told him to calm down. “Yeah, well. Perhaps you’ve learned not to bring her up to help me,” Remus offered, pressing the heels of his palms against his closed eyes. There were only a few times he would get upset at Zephyr but now he knew that walking out the door for fresh air seemed a better option than letting the air around him suffocate him. Apparating back to his own flat for the night seemed like an enticing option but when Zephyr called the conversation over and stepped away, Remus stayed and stared down at the ground as if burning holes into it with his gaze.

Remus sighed out to himself, dragging his breath out to try to get it back to being even. This was all happening and falling around him, nothing seemed good except for Zephyr and Remus couldn’t lose him. Not because of his behavior and being frustrated at the situation and not at him. He was right. Remus sat down on the couch at first a few feet away but shuffled closer, leaning his head against the curve of Zephyr’s neck. Even though he said not to argue with him, Remus wanted to. There was nothing to be proud of. He didn’t accomplish anything except for his name being on a banned list from places he thought he could be. The Ministry kicked him out twice, his work fired him, the Order put him on temporary leave. There was nothing he could do and it wasn’t something to be prideful of. “Talking helps. If I don’t talk I get trapped in my head. It’s not the best place to be...but thank you. It’s good to have someone listen. And I...I don’t know what to do.”

Zephyr:

"People say a lot of shit. Some of them are going to call you a bad person and you know what? Maybe you're going to do a bad thing sometimes, but that doesn't make you evil. You're human, you're going to fuck up, and you know what you do? You suck it up and you go apologize to the ones you did wrong, you do not apologize for who you are. Because there's nothing wrong with you. For every single damn time someone calls you a bad person, I'm going to tell you that you're not. And I may get in a few fights over your honour, too, and no, you're not going to talk me out of that because bigots have it coming." Bigots? Racists? Speciesists? Whatever in the hell you called them, but he was prone to ranting again and he was trying not to do that again, instead just letting Remus get it out of his system and feel listened to instead of feeling managed, so Zephyr forced himself to suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly, adjusting his view again and flashing Remus a quick grin. "If they'd kicked my mother out, she probably would have went out the wrong door with her middle finger in the air. I've been told it's a miracle she didn't get fired, but I think she was suspended a couple of times." Zephyr admitted as he shrugged one shoulder, his smile as lopsided as his body language. He wasn't ever going to know what day to day life was like for Remus, especially not with the registry in place, but the least he could do was try to distract him, remind him he was good and special and, most important of all, put that smile on his face.

It was weird how much a parent could fuck up a kid without even trying. You could tell them something once and their brain would suck it up like a sponge and suddenly it was ingrained in who they were even if they forgot about it when they grew up, they could learn actions and patterns and it would just seem so normal to them because they came from the world that formed their personality. It was proof of how daunting parenthood was and Zephyr could admit that it was probably a good thing he didn't have kids or else he would likely fuck it up as well. "Well, he's still your dad. When you're a kid, it's your parents that shape your world and back then, it's not like you had any reason not to trust him, right? Normal was what your parents said it was, but that doesn't mean they were right about everything. I get that it can be hard to unlearn some of the things you were taught, but... just because something was done one way doesn't make it the best or the only way. I wish your dad could find a better way, but at least you had your mom. She still sounds like one hell of an incredible lady. But then again, she raised you, so I know she was."

Sometimes Zephyr looked in the paper for things to take Remus out to do, various events and activities that they could use for bonding experiences if not outright dates and Zephyr supposed that he would have to start looking at job listings as well, although he wasn't really sure what Remus would be willing to do for a paycheck. "I hope she gives Adam hell for firing you. I know he could have fired you for other things because let's face it, baby, you weren't so good at being on time, but still... you've worked there for a while, he should have known better." Maybe he was just using it as an excuse to fire Remus, something that was more of a hot topic that just oversleeping to get Remus out of the store, Zephyr wasn't sure, but he knew that he was angry either way at Adam Price for providing yet another blow to Remus' self-esteem when so many things seemed to make him want to crumple lately. "Do you want to at least try to find a magical job? I can help you look if you want to test it out, but... fuck, I hate saying this, but if you're worried about what people will say, muggle is probably better. I don't know if purebloods would care enough to track you down to a muggle place. And if you want to try going back to Dumbledore and seeing if he had some other place for you, well, I still want to visit that place, so I'll back you up on that option, too."

Zephyr felt like he was running out of ways to say that he supported Remus because that was all that he really wanted to do. He knew he couldn't solve things, but he could at least offer ideas and suggestions, could go over different options, but it seemed like that was just going to lead to them snapping at each other. Maybe it would be best to shelve the useful stuff to a later time when Remus wasn't so worked up or else chances were they would end up saying something they regretted, which wasn't what Zephyr wanted. He didn't give a fuck about Camilla, didn't consider her a friend as much as a tolerable work colleague, but her standing with him had dropped considerably for what she'd done against Remus and how could Remus doubt that? Why didn't Remus know that Zephyr was on his side at not palling it up with the woman that was apparently Remus' enemy behind his back? Certainly not a good thing to focus on and Zephyr helped himself to a larger swallow of alcohol than he really needed as he slouched down on the couch, wanting to move attention back to Remus where it belonged instead of anyone else.

Some of the tension he'd felt during the Camilla conversation eased away as Remus tucked against his side, head fitting in the curve of his neck and Zephyr kissed the top of his head, fingers brushing along skin in an effort to soothe him. "We're going to take it one day at a time, okay?" He promised quietly, the words murmured into Remus' hair. "I love you for you, not because of your blood status or your job or your standing in the Order. No matter what's happened, I'm going to be here to help you through it. Just let me know what's going through your head, okay? Even when it's a problem I can't solve for you, I can listen. I can give you booze. And I can sit right here with you and hold you until the world sucks less. How about first we say that we spend the rest of the night just sitting here drinking and not worrying about fixing anything until tomorrow, does that sound like a start? Then we can tackle one problem at a time and figure out what you want to do."

Remus:

“That-Yes, I don’t think everyone will get upset about who I am...but more about what I am. I’m not going to apologize to everyone...that’s what they want. They want me to be detained-to be closed off. It’s just the full moon day now but in a few months it could be off all the streets at all times. I’m not even part of a pack and I’m considered a threat. They still haven’t found the pack who killed Marlene and her family...I would do anything to find out.” It was the first time since the funeral Remus had said Marlene was killed aloud and Remus could feel himself shake as he did. The pack had been in Ireland and he knew werewolves could travel but not that fast to be in London. If they were someone would know. Someone could have details and Remus knew that going into the Auror Department with a blind mission had been more of a suicide mission. Everyone was trying to solve Marlene’s death. His first thought had been Greyback but Remus had not heard of him being involved in anything since January. Even if he told himself a thousand times Fenrir did it, he didn’t know if he could believe it. “I don’t need you fighting my fights, alright? I’m capable of doing them myself, but unless someone starts an argument with me, I want to stay far from fights if I can help it. I can’t afford to be kicked out of any other establishments for my...my behavior.” Remus always liked it when Zephyr shared information about his mother and even being compared to her felt like an accomplishment. “Well, she seems pretty bold. I didn’t go out with a middle finger but Kingsley did have to talk me down from going back and starting another fight...a talk with Kinsgley and Moody are two people I would rather not disappoint and I did.”

It never occurred until Remus went to school that he figured out that his home life had been different than others. It didn’t matter about changing once a month into a monster but the psychological behavior that was implemented through that. When Remus told Zephyr about his father before, the same feeling occurred of knowing he could have had it worst. He could have been in a house with someone like Sirius’ family that wasn’t as forgiving. “Yes, he’s still my dad...whatever estranged definition we share each other he is still my father. I know nothing I had was perfect-my father was hardly around...my mom wouldn’t like this. What he’s done. I don’t think he’s aware of that. He was always thinking about himself...I think he thought this would be the best for me but...of course he’s wrong.” At the mention of his mother, Remus’ face softened and shrugged his shoulders. “She was great. She would have liked you.”

Remus wasn’t oblivious and knew he and Adam didn’t have the best relationship with each other but Remus didn’t think he would actually fire him the first excuse he could pick up on. He exhaled a short breath and shrugged his shoulders in defense. “I don’t think she would. But it’s fine. She doesn’t have to. I don’t want anyone else causing trouble for the sake of me. I know I could have done better...but I don’t know if that would have changed his mind. Adam was doing his job...it was twisted but he did.” Remus had not begun to think about what he would do when he got fired. It was something he never thought he would have to consider and now the reason why he got fired was implementing the same counterproductive hiring process in other jobs. As if reading his mind, Remus sagged against the counter with his gaze on the ground. “I-I don’t know...I can’t think of anything that I could do. You think they’re hiring dragon tamers? Is it too late to get into quidditch? I know I could get a job in the city anywhere else but...when Marlene died she...she gave me-or the law...gave me some money. I guess I have that while I figure out what to do. Until then...I’ll be fine, alright?”

There was nothing else to give and Remus knew that bringing up Camilla had been something that stung. He knew Zephyr didn’t have any malice behind the conversation which is why Remus surrendered the conversation to be mute. There were more reasons that Remus didn’t want to bring to the surface about why Remus felt indifferent to Camilla but he didn’t think to mention it now. Remus also didn’t need Zephyr starting fights at his work again in his favor, something that would later weigh heavily on his conscious. Remus found peace as he melted against Zephyr and the silence, humming and tangling his fingers in with Zephyr’s. “One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute...it’s going to get harder.” It wasn’t a question and Remus nodded at his own words, closing his eyes as he rested against Zephyr. “Here I thought you were very into unemployed violent halfbloods,” Remus grinned teasingly in response. It was nice to know Remus could turn to Zephyr for anything. He was the only one he trusted with anything besides the marauders and that was so rare recently. “Listening and talking and drinking. You’re speaking my language. I know-I know the world will go down six feet under before it gets better but...as long as I have you then I will be okay. I think not worrying and only drinking sounds like a good night. For now I don’t want to tackle anything. I just want to sit here with you. If that’s alright.”

Zephyr:

What Remus should apologize for and what society in general wanted him to apologize for happened to be two very different things and Zephyr nodded along. If Remus broken something or hurt someone, he was a good enough person to apologize for that without being told, but that didn't mean that he should apologize to someone that was offended by the idea of a werewolf roaming the streets and it was that sort of unfeeling, privileged asshole that made Zephyr's temper rise. He wanted to rage against the idea of being not being allowed on the streets at all, he wanted to promise he would fight against that and took whatever he could to help, but the mention of Marlene cooled his temper. While her death was upsetting, Zephyr knew Remus was far more familiar with her and that even if she hadn't been a friend, it would have mattered more to him for the way she was killed. "I'm not trying to fight them for you, I'm saying that I'll fight them with you. But I'll try not to go adding anymore fighting problems to our lives right now even if you are worth getting in a fight over." God, if only it was as easy as knocking someone out to solve problems. If only that would make people realize werewolves weren't monsters, if only it would get the right people locked up, if only. But it didn't work like that. There can a point when more violence wasn't helping and while it might have made Zephyr feel better, it wasn't what Remus wanted and that meant Zephyr had to wait, he could blow his top some other time and he tapped his fingers in a meaningless rhythm against his thigh. "She was bold. Got into a lot of trouble when she first started because some of the others thought she only made it because Grandma campaigned for the President. I think going down fighting shows it matters. Sometimes we disappoint people, god knows I have, but it doesn't mean you can't fix it in time."

If Remus wanted something, then Zephyr believed in him enough to think he would at least try and he knew that he would support him, regardless of if that was patching things up with Moody or when it came to dealing with his father and the registry he'd passed. "Do you want to tell me about the fight the two of you had? I know things were bad before, after your mom..." Zephyr knew what Remus's mom had wanted him to promise, but it seemed like Remus' dad was intent on burning anything between them after her death. "I can't say anything about your dad, I don't know if he did this for his career or if he thought it would keep kids from being bit like you, but you shouldn't be hurt in the process." Probably something his mom would agree on, from what Zephyr knew of her. "I would have been on my most charming behavior. Would've called her ma'am and brought her flowers and promised I'm only a bad influence on you half the time," He said, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile.

"It sucks what he did, well, it sucks why he did it, but people get fired all the time. It happens. It may be hard to find another job for a while, but you will find one eventually and I think if Marlene gave you money, then she'd probably want you to use it to buy yourself time to find you care about and not just rush into finding the first shitty job that will take you. It sounds like Marlene gave you options, so... make her proud with how you use them, right?" Zephyr hesitated, licking his lips and getting the feeling that Remus wouldn't like what he was about to say, but that was a feeling he'd gotten though the entire conversation. "You're fine now and you know that even when her money runs out, even if you find a job and end up fired again, you know you'll still be fine financially, right? Don't get pissed, okay? It's not something you need to think about now, I'm just saying you have enough people that care about you that you're not going to end up homeless on some street just because you're between jobs."

While Zephyr had never shied away from an argument, it would be a lie to say that he didn't feel better to have Remus relaxing against him, their fingers intertwined. Not so much because he was afraid to fight with Remus, they'd been finding things to disagree on since they met, but because he didn't like Remus being upset and hated even more the fact that he couldn't fix it for Remus. He had a strong urge to protect and provide, but at some point he had to step back and accept that he couldn't make the world fall in line for Remus and he would have have to be there for him. "You want to know what my type it? It's cute boys that like books, boys that are shorter than me so I can pin them against walls. Being a pretty blusher is a requirement and you can't go wrong with having a smart mouth, that's pretty important. I think you fit the bill, don't you?" He remembered telling Remus what he was interested in the night they got together and Zephyr was intentionally trying to echo his words from that night, just not calling him a bookstore guy anymore. "You have me, baby," Zephyr promised quietly, handing the bottle back over while he kept playing with Remus' fingers. "I may be an asshole that has no idea how to deal with any of this, but I'm not going anywhere. I know it's going to get tough, but you've got me. At rock bottom and the top, I'll be here."

[munarlothhp]

Old Habits

Part 1 of my 36 Questions That Lead to Love Series: 1. "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?" The Gryffindor 6th years have an eventfully uneventful train ride back to school. 4038 words | ao3

Lily Evans clutched the handle of her trunk tightly as she stepped off the train. King’s Cross looked the same as ever, despite the fact that she had somehow expected the station to look completely different--maybe because this time, for the first time, she was arriving alone. She had spent the better part of the last week convincing her mum to let her travel alone on the local train on the morning of September 1st after Petunia had made it abundantly clear that she would not be joining them to see Lily off, but the fight was worth it that Mum wouldn’t have to travel back to Cokeworth by herself.

She loaded her trunk onto a trolley and made her way to a newsstand for her last Muggle chocolate bar until Christmas. Tucking her purchase into her bag, she headed for Platform 9 ¾. There were still several Hogwarts families milling about on the Muggle side, but Lily hurried as a station announcement noted the time at 10:50. The Wizarding side of the platform was as bustling as ever, full of old friends getting reacquainted as parents said hurried goodbyes. Lily pushed thoughts of her family from her mind as she dragged her trunk up the platform.

“Evans!”

Lily sighed, turning at the sound of one of the last voices she wanted to hear that morning. “Potter.”

He was taller than he had been in June. “Alright, Evans? Have a good summer?”

She nodded, glancing around for any of her other friends as an escape, but there was only James. “You?”

“Yeah, it was alright--good--a lot of Quidditch.”  

“That’s nice.” He looked nervous, hands twitching at his sides, and Lily was running out of patience. “Alright, well...we should really get on the train, so…”

“Right. Need any help with your trunk?”

“No--erm, thanks. See you at school.”

“Right.”

She turned and quickly made her way down the platform before James could say anything else. She wasn’t sure that she was properly over what happened after OWLs, and now really wasn’t the time to hash that out. She heaved her trunk onto the train and dragged it down the corridor, dodging small children--they couldn’t be first years , was she ever that small?--and eventually spotted her friends through a compartment window. Mary slid the door open and Marlene helped to heft her trunk up into the holding above.

“Lily!” She was quickly enveloped in a hug, then another. “How was your summer? Is your mum here? I’m sorry I didn’t owl more--”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine. I took the express from Cokeworth--Mum was busy this morning. Summer was fine. Yours?”

“Uneventful, mostly. I babysat my siblings until they all went to Quidditch camp, then Mum and I were at her friend’s place in the country for a few weeks.”

“I hope that was more fun than it sounds…?”

Marlene shrugged. “I got all my schoolwork done there, anyway.”

“Well that’s something. Mary, please tell me you had more fun than that.”

“Not really--chores around the house, homework, and we went to my aunt’s at the seaside on the weekends. Nothing terribly exciting.”

“Your tan looks great, at least.”

“Thanks! I feel like it took years of lying in the sun to get this dark.”

“I always have to sit under the umbrella.” Lily held out her arms for inspection, frowning at her pale skin.

“Your skin tone suits you so well though, with your hair and everything! I’d kill for those freckles just across your nose.”

“I guess. Maybe there’s a charm for sun protection--I should ask Flitwick when we get back.”

Somewhere a clock struck 11 and the Hogwarts Express pulled away from the platform. Lily settled into her seat, twisting a piece of hair around one finger. The world outside blurred backwards as the train picked up speed.

Marlene tucked her legs up criss-cross on the seat and looked at Lily expectantly. “So was Snape hanging around your house again this summer?”

Lily groaned and pulled out her cigarette case, lighting a smoke and offering them to her roommates. “He came ��round once at the beginning of July and I had Mum say I wasn’t home. Of course then she wanted to know why, so I just said we’d grown apart, you know? Petunia said she was glad I was finally finished with ‘ that beastly little freak ’, and they didn’t ask questions after that”. It was the most Petunia had said to her all summer, besides ‘pass the salt’ and ‘hurry up in the bath, will you’.

The first summer since their dad’s death wasn’t easy, but they had managed. Mum kept busy between work, volunteering, and book club, and Petunia wasn’t really speaking to Lily since Easter. Lily didn’t have an owl to keep up with her friends--her parents always said that it would be too hard to keep it under wraps in their Muggle neighborhood--so she found ways to keep herself occupied, spending two months listening to records, smoking on the back porch, and snogging a Muggle boy from two blocks over in between her shifts at the local Tesco.

“I hope he leaves you alone this year.”

Marlene agreed, blowing smoke rings into the air between them. “He really is sort of beastly, isn’t he?”

Lily shrugged, cracking the upper window open and blowing her own smoke towards the opening. “No comment.”

“You’re allowed to acknowledge that he’s an arse, you know,” Mary pointed out. “He did call you a...you-know-what.”

“Mudblood.” The other girls winced, and Lily continued. “I know. I know what he is. I just--I don’t know.” She knew that she couldn’t let Severus back into her life after what he did, and she didn’t want to, but she didn’t feel like she was quite done grieving yet, either.

All thoughts of Severus Snape vanished when the compartment door slid open without warning and 7th year Dorcas Meadows stuck her head inside. “Hey Lily, don’t forget--oh, you can’t be serious . Smoking on the train? Lily, you’re a Prefect !”

The 6th years stubbed out their cigarettes at once. Marlene grinned at Dorcas, and Mary at least had the decency to look guilty while Lily Vanished the lingering smoke and the remains of her own cig. “Sorry Dorcas, we weren’t thinking--just a holdover from summer, you know?”

“That’s a poor excuse, but I guess I won’t take any points from my own House before we even get to school.”

“Thanks Dorcas, you’re an angel. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Oh, whatever,” Dorcas rolled her eyes. “I just wanted to remind you, the Prefect meeting starts in five minutes.”

“Right, I’ll be right there.”

Marlene relit her cigarette as soon as Dorcas closed the door. “I suppose she got Head Girl, then.”

“Looks like it. Don’t get caught with that. I’ll be back after the meeting.”

Lily entered the Prefect compartment and made a beeline for the seat next to Remus, decidedly not looking around to see if any of the other 6th year Prefects had arrived yet. “Hey Remus, how were your hols?”

“Pretty good. We were at James’s a lot. How about you?”

“Not bad. Spent a lot of time with Mum. Did you have any trouble with the Transfiguration work? That theory essay took me ages to finish.”

“Nah, James and Sirius are really good at Transfiguration so we all put our notes together. Marlene helped, too--I didn’t expect her to pick up on the theory that quickly but she had it down pretty well by the time she showed up at James’s.”

“Right.” Lily’s brow furrowed. Marlene at Potter’s?

Before she could ask Remus anything else, Dorcas stood up to start the meeting. “Hello everyone, welcome back! I’m Head Girl this year and Kingsley,” the 7th year Slytherin stood up when she mentioned his name, “is your Head Boy. I hope everyone had a nice summer? I know I’m glad to be back after some of those awful headlines in the Prophet--nowhere safer than Hogwarts, right?” A few Prefects murmured in agreement, Lily among them--though she wasn’t sure if she really did entirely agree. Just because Dumbledore was there didn’t mean that bad things couldn’t--wouldn’t--happen.

“Anyway, we’re both very excited for this upcoming year, and we have just a few announcements to make before you get started on patrols. First off, I’d especially like to welcome all of the new 5th years. We’re very happy to have you all on as new Prefects. As a recap, you’ll primarily be expected to patrol the school after hours and make sure no students are out of bed. We’ll be handing out your patrol schedules at the end of the meeting. Kinglsey and I are in charge of setting the schedules, so if any of you have a specific conflict, please let one of us know. You’ll also be patrolling the train until we get to Hogwarts. I want 6th years patrolling for the first half of the trip, 5th years patrolling the second half. Kingsley and I will also be setting the common room passwords, and we will give you each month’s passwords at our biweekly meetings. Now, Kingsley, if you want to…?”

“Yes, of course,” Kingsley said, standing up to take over the announcements. “Professor Dumbledore wanted us to let you know about a new rule that we’ll be helping to enforce this year. From now on, magic in the corridors at school is forbidden.”

Jenny Krampf, a 6th year Ravenclaw, raised her hand. “What if we’re practicing before class?”

Kingsley shook his head. “You’ll just have to practice in your common room. It’s a matter of precaution, after last year’s accidents; Professor Dumbledore just wants to make sure that he’s providing the highest possible level of safety for students while we’re at school.”

“‘Accidents’ my arse,” Lily muttered. Remus shushed her.

“Magic is also now forbidden on the train. Obviously the rest of the student body doesn’t know that yet, so Dorcas and I have decided that during your patrols today, you should issue a warning to any student using magic, and a detention if you catch them a second time.”

“Alright, any questions?” Dorcas pulled a sheaf of parchment from her bag and stood up. “That’s it for the meeting, then. We’ll see you again for the first meeting two Sundays from now! I have copies of your patrol schedules, common room passwords, and the password to the Prefects’ bathroom, so please come get yours before you leave.”

She handed a sheet each to Lily and Remus, sitting in the front row, and they swiftly made their exit. “That new rule is definitely not just a precaution,” Lily said in a low voice. “Do you remember what Mulciber did to Mary last year? Dumbledore’s mad if he thinks a silly new rule will stop those Death Eater-wannabes.”

“Yeah, but what else can he do? He can’t kick them out just for suspicion--”

“Unfortunately.”

“I know, I agree.”

“Ugh. The whole thing’s just so stupid, anyway.” They made it to Lily’s compartment and she leaned against the door, folding and unfolding and folding again the schedule from Dorcas. “So, do you think your mates will have trouble with the new rule?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Can we not talk about that right now? Term hasn’t even started yet.”

“I know, I know, I’m just kidding--mostly.”

“It just gets a little old. You’re not the only one who mentions it.”

His voice was sharper than usual, and Lily's cheeks burned. “Sorry.”

“I know. See you at school?”

She nodded and watched him continue on to the next carriage. The compartment door slid open and Marlene stuck her head out. “Was that Remus out here snapping?” Lily nodded again. “What’d you say to piss him off?”

“There’s a new rule that says we can’t do magic in the corridors at school, and I asked if the others will have trouble with it. I was just kidding, sort of.”

“Oh! Well, if that’s all, then.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “I have to go patrol. Do you want anything off the trolley if I pass it?”

“Chocolate, please.”

“There’s actually a bar in my bag if you want some.”

Marlene vanished back into the compartment with a grin and Lily started off down the train. She still needed to ask Marlene about having been at Potter’s, and it occurred to her that the Potters and McKinnons were probably friends--old pureblood families and what not. It also occurred to her that Marlene being at James’s was probably part of why Lily received next to no letters over the summer. She had been surprised, if she was being honest, by the radio silence, but she wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up for a real discussion. And this, knowing that Marlene was at James’s, she would just keep that card close to her chest and wait for Marlene to bring it up herself.

She traced the outline of the silver case in her pocket as she walked, lamenting the fact that it would be another 10 months before she could sit on her back porch and smoke whenever she wanted.

By the time she’d made it to the other end of the train, she had worked out more frustration than she realized she even had by giving out three warnings and two detentions, and she hadn’t seen Severus or the sixth year Gryffindor boys even once. This usually wouldn’t bode well for anyone involved, but she pushed it from her mind. She wasn’t the only Gryffindor Prefect and they weren’t her responsibility.  

She made her way through the final passenger carriage, shushing a group of third year boys who thought that shouting was the best way to determine who had made the compartment smell so rank, and finally came to the storage car at the end of the train. Hoping that she wasn’t about to catch anyone with their clothes off and crossing her fingers that she might be able to confiscate some cigarettes by the end of patrol, she opened the door and peeked inside. “Hello? Anyone in here?”

Sudden footsteps behind her set off warning bells in her head and a firm hand on her back pushed her into the carriage. The door crashed shut behind them and she spun around, already pulling her wand out from her jacket sleeve, and stopped short.

“Severus.” She hadn’t spoken to him since that night outside the Gryffindor common room.

“Hi, Lils.” He sounded as shy as he had the first time he ever talked to her.

“Don’t call me that.”

Severus’s brow furrowed and he dropped any hint of bashfulness. “What should I call you then, Evans ? I’ve called you Lils since we were nine years old.”

“You weren’t friends with Death Eaters when we were nine years old,” Lily said coolly.

“I’m not a Death Eater,” he growled. He was already starting to pace back and forth.

“I didn’t say you were. No new tattoos yet, then?” She knew it was dangerous to taunt him but she didn’t care. All she could think about was that day after their final exam, and then the look on his face through lacy curtains in her upstairs window as her mum closed the front gate on him in June.

“Well you wouldn’t know, would you? You wouldn’t even let me on your porch, let alone talk to me,” he spat. Color was rising in his cheeks and he paced closer to Lily. She moved slowly, swallowing when she backed into a stack of crates. “I was just trying to apologize again, and see how your family’s doing.”

“I said all I had to say in June,” Lily said softly. “You chose your path, I chose mine.”

“But Lils, I could help you! So much more than Potter or any of his blood-traitor friends. I could protect you!”

“What exactly do I need to be protected from?” Her heart was racing as her grip on her wand tightened.

His eyes darkened. “You know what I’m talking about, Lily.”

“Well how do you know about it if you aren’t one of them? If you’re in with the Death Eaters, how can you protect me?”

“I’m doing what I have to do for you !” Lily’s breath caught in her throat; he was suddenly right in front of her, slamming his hands into the wood on either side of her head. Drawing a shuddering breath, he hung his head. He was barely inches from her face, almost whimpering. “Lily. You know how I feel about you. Please…”

She swallowed hard as he ignored the tip of her wand pressing into his chest, and the carriage door slid open loudly. He stiffened at the sound of James Potter’s voice. “Alright, Evans?”

“We’re having a private conversation, Potter.” Severus spun around, pulling his wand from his robes and pointing it at the other boy.

“Everything’s fine ,” Lily said firmly, slipping out from behind Severus.

“You sure, Evans?” James asked lightly. “Looked to me like Snivellus here was bothering you.”

Severus made a sound in the back of his throat like an angry animal, and Lily moved to stand in front of his wand. “We had a bit of a misunderstanding, that’s all. Severus was looking for something that I don’t have anymore.”

He looked like a kicked dog, startled but ready to bite. “If you would just listen --”

“Snape it’s over , just go .” Lily couldn’t remember ever speaking to him so coldly, and he seemed to realize it as well. He shouldered past her and James, slamming the door shut behind him. They stood in silence for a moment before Lily spoke. “You don’t even have your wand out.”

James shrugged, grinning. “You do. I knew you’d protect me.”

She snorted. “More like Remus told you about the new rules.”

“So? You know about them and you still have yours out,” He said. “A bit of a misunderstanding, huh?” She looked away and crossed her arms. He sighed. “Are you really ok, though?”

She nodded. “He wouldn’t have hurt me. I know you probably disagree, but at least the Snape I used to know wouldn’t have...done anything.”

James looked around the carriage, his hand rising toward his hair. Lily almost rolled her eyes until his hand stopped to rub the back of his neck, then dropped. “Sometimes, I wish I could have old Godric Gryffindor up for a chat, so I could ask him why he was ever friends with Slytherin in the first place.” He spoke very deliberately.

She chewed over several responses before she quietly answered. “Maybe Slytherin wasn’t so bad in the beginning, and Gryffindor needed him then. And by the time he realized how much things had changed, it was too late to go back.”

“If you say so. I think Gryffindor was well rid of him in the end.” He opened the compartment door and looked back at her. “You heading back to your friends at the front?” She nodded. “Alright. See you at the feast then.”

“Hey!” He turned back, eyebrows raised. “Is Remus still ticked at me?”

He shrugged. “Not really, but you know how he broods.”

“Think you could apologize again for me?”

“Absolutely not.” He flashed her a grin on his way out the door. “I think if you can deal with Snape, you can handle that yourself.”

Lily sighed, letting her head fall back and resting her hands on her hips. She gave James a minute’s head start to get farther along the train before slowly making the walk back to her own compartment.

“I think that was the best feast yet.” Mary dropped spread eagle onto her bed, resting both hands on her full stomach.

Marlene snorted. “You say that every year.”

“It gets better every year.”

Lily laughed, pulling off her robes and rummaging through her trunk for a large tee shirt. It felt nice to be back in the dorm, in the same bed that she had slept in for the last five years. It felt closer to home than she would admit, and she Summoned her cigarette case from the pocket of her trousers bunched on the floor, opening the window.

“Oh, good idea!” Marlene joined her on the window seat, pulling out her own cigs.

“Must you smoke in here?” Their roommate Diane Clearwater wrinkled her nose.

“Yes,” Marlene replied bluntly, blowing a smoke ring in Diane’s direction.

Soumya Patil, the fifth and final Gryffindor 6th year girl, rolled her eyes. “Really, Marlene? Come on, Diane, let’s just go downstairs.” They left quickly, Diane slamming the door behind them.

Lily giggled as Mary scoffed at them. “Must you antagonize her on the first night back?”

Marlene blew another smoke ring. “ Yes , I must . She’s a twat.”

“Soumya’s nice though, usually,” Lily pointed out. She blew her smoke out the window, not having quite mastered smoke rings yet, though not for lack of trying.

“Why’s she hang out with Diane then?”

“Because she’s nice , unlike you.” Marlene stuck her tongue out but still passed Mary a cigarette when she held her hand out.

The rest of the train ride had passed uneventfully, and Lily was pleased to have confiscated not one but three packs of cigarettes. Some were a bit harsher than she usually preferred, but beggars can't be choosers--cigarettes were high on the list of banned items that Filch kept posted on his office door. Lily thought it was rather odd that he didn’t just Vanish any cigarette trash or smoke in the halls, but she didn’t question it, rather enjoying the fact that his rules kept her from having to spend more money on her bad habit. She curled one leg up onto the window seat now, watching the smoke from her cig curling up out the window and thinking about their arrival at school.

Mary was right, the feast had been delicious, and there hadn’t been too much grumbling from the student body when Professor Dumbledore officially announced the new rule about no magic in the corridors. Lily was pleased to see that Gryffindor got 12 new students this year, and she had let the 5th year Prefects lead everyone to the common room after dinner. She hung back, looking for James and his friends, but they had disappeared in the crowd.

“Do you think I should talk to Remus?”

Mary finished lighting her cigarette off of Marlene’s cherry and furrowed her brows. “About what?”

“That bit on the train.”

“Nah,” Marlene waved the question away. “I mean, yes, honestly, eventually. Like, it wasn’t a real row or anything, but you should probably talk it out. But not tonight.”

“You think?”

Mary nodded. “From what you said, it sounds like he could use somebody to talk to about the pressure, anyway. I’m sure it’s not easy being their mate and a Prefect.”

“Definitely not,” Marlene added. “Though I think they all calmed down a lot this summer. They seemed pretty decent away from the Slytherins, anyway.”

“Oh? Did you see them over the hols?” Lily tried to keep her voice light, examining her cigarette.

“Um, yeah, actually. Mum is friends with Euphemia - I think they’re on some committee together or in a book club or something. We were there for a couple of weeks in the beginning of August.”

“Was it fun?”

“Yeah, I guess. The boys played Quidditch a lot and I mostly worked on homework and my tan.”

“Oh, ok.” Lily glanced up in time to see Marlene and Mary exchange a look. She swallowed, stubbing her cigarette out on the windowsill and waving her wand to Vanish the smoke, and tucked the remaining butt back into her case. “I think I’m going to go to bed. I’m always really tired after the train.”

“Ok, Lils. See you in the morning.”

Lily was quick to brush her teeth and crawl into bed, pulling the curtains shut behind her. If Mary and Marlene had anything to say, they waited until after she fell asleep to say it.

[jilyss]

stood up

inspired by @jilys and @alrightpotter and everyone else who has made lovely group chat aus

this is one inspired by the prompt “i got stood up and you sat down and started talking to me who are you”

Lily Evans to Marlene McKinnon: what would u say if i broke ur heels

Marlene McKinnon: i would murder u w. Out thinkng abt it

Lily Evans: ….

Lily Evans: i broke ur heels

Lily Evans: marlene

Marlene McKinnon: blocked

*

Dorcas Meadows to diagnose me dr lily: lily

Dorcas Meadows: i have a rash on my arm lily diagnose me

Lily Evans: pneumonia

Dorcas Meadows: ???,,,,???? Its getting worse???...

Lily Evans: did u try turning it off and on again

Lily Evans: geez i m not a doctor yet

*

Marlene McKinnon to all boys r twats: dorcas i just saw snape and rosier following after lily

Marlene McKinnon: oh shIr

Marlene McKinnon: Lils

Marlene McKinnon: im coming to get u stay there

*

Lily Evans to Severus Snape: if u come near me again i will grind ur balls in a blender

Severus Snape: you know I’m right

Lily Evans: you’re a white supremacist

Lily Evans: YOU are wrong

*

Marlene McKinnon to Dorcas get me those spicy pita chips: what did snivelus say

Lily Evans: ‘’’’’im a nazi’’’’

Dorcas Meadows: rly

Lily Evans: no but basically

Lily Evans: i need booze asap

Marlene McKinnon: i got lots

Dorcas Meadows: omw

*

Dorcas Meadows to lily needs to get laid: mission imposible: how about Peter Pettigrew

Lily Evans: pass

Dorcas Meadows: u say that about everyone

Lily Evans: and

Lily Evans: i m focusing on school rn

Dorcas Meadows: do u even know who pettigrew is????,,?

Lily Evans:  y es

Marlene McKinnon: just one pls

Dorcas Meadows: lil if you go on one blind date ill take you to nandos

Lily Evans: deal

Lily Evans: but just one and not peter pettigreq

Lily Evans changed group name to i deserve better friends than these weeds

*

Lily Evans to Marlene McKinnon: where am i meeting him

Marlene McKinnon: corner of 165th by tha t pizza plce

Marlene McKinnon: he said hed b inside

Lily Evans: he better b hot

*

Marlene McKinnon to tminus 0 days until lilys date: LILY

Marlene McKinnon: I CAN’T BELIEVE HE STOOD U UP

Marlene McKinnon: IM SO SORRY

Marlene McKinnon: EVANS

*

Lily Evans to blondie + inferiors with rat nests: marlene he was rly hot ur the best

Lily Evans:  wait what

Dorcas Meadows: ?,,,,,,,???

Lily Evans: he stood me up?

Lily Evans: then who was i with last night

Lily Evans: Marlene McKinnon get ur butt over here with the nandos Marlene McKinnon: it’s 3am lily why did u just get back ;)))))

*

Lily Evans to James Potter: who r u rly

James Potter: oops

Lily Evans: r u actly james ?

James Potter: yeah srry i didnt know what to say u just kind of sat down

Lily Evans: ?? I was there first twat

James Potter: u were rly cute

James Potter: what cna i say

Lily Evans: so u just sat down with a random stranger and pretended to know me

James Potter: yes ?

*

Lily Evans sent a picture to group: what Do I dO

Marlene McKinnon: James Potter SAT NEXT TO YOU?

Dorcas Meadows: the CUTEST guy at on campus???

Marlene McKinnon: to clarify

Marlene McKinnon: the star football player who also happens to be v hot and buff sat next to u bc u were cute??

Lily Evans: i got stood up and i guess i didnt know who he was

Lily Evans: he was a little concieted

Lily Evans: and not that hot

Dorcas Meadows: ur in denial

Marlene McKinnon: ur name together is lames

Lily Evans: .....

Dorcas Meadows: so what happened after the date

Marlene McKinnon: u didn’t come back until late late

Lily Evans: ..nothing

*

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: whats wrong with james

Remus Lupin: he went on a date with Lily Evans

Sirius Black: the redhead in his calc class

Remus Lupin: yeah

Sirius Black: oh

Sirius Black: he’s in a daze and wont move

Remus Lupin: tell him theres a spider on his bed

Sirius Black: he didn’t move

Remus Lupin: woW

Sirius Black: im calling 911

Remus Lupin: nO

Peter Pettigrew: too late

*

Marlene McKinnon to Sirius Black: theyre the worst

Sirius Black: tell lily to meet u at the library

Sirius Black: ill get james to go to

Sirius Black: also how did u get this #

Marlene McKinnon: it wastn that hard

 *

Sirius Black to James Potter: meet me at hte library in 10

James Potter: u never study

James Potter: r u trying to set me up again with evans

Sirius Black: no ?

James Potter: wanker

James Potter: leaving now

*

Lily Evans to James Potter: im not good enough to be a doctor

Lily Evans: i just got fired from the pizza parlor

James Potter: yike what happened

Lily Evans: fell asleep during my break n missed my shift

James Potter: im coming with nandos

Lily Evans: im in the tesco parking lot

James Potter: np

*

Lily Evans to James Potter: ur gonna crush it today!!

James Potter: are u coming

Lily Evans: ofc

*

Marlene McKinnon to lily ate the chocholate and deserves disembowlment: lily and james just hugged after he won the cup and

Sirius Black: most sexually charged hug i’ve ever seen

Remus Lupin: is that an apostrophe

Sirius Black: there are more important things to worry about right now

Peter Pettigrew: who put Marlene on this chat

*

Lily Evans to We”RE OUT OF CHOCOCLATE: so

Lily Evans: theres this guy who is hot and toned

Lily Evans: and also happens to be mischevious and smart and is good at literally everything

Lily Evans: but also has a big head and generous and super rich

Lily Evans: and i cant tell if i hate him or like him

Dorcas Meadows: r u kidding me lily

Marlene McKinnon: a match made in heaven

Lily Evans: i cant TELL

Marlene McKinnon: im texting him right now

Lily Evans: NO DONT

Lily Evans: mar i will kill you im not even sure yet

Lily Evans: some people said i just want him as my sugar daddy

Marlene McKinnon: who said that

Dorcas Meadows: snape

Marlene McKinnon: he’s an asshat don’t listen to him

Lily Evans: but what if potter just leaves

Lily Evans: there are way better girls for him

Lily Evans: ones his parents would approve of

Dorcas Meadows: thats bs and u know it

Marlene McKinnon: ^

*

Lily Evan’s Notes: u just do everything perfectly theres nothing you could do wrong and its unfair and you have perfect messy hair thats so beautiful and i could stare at the stars for hours with you just because nothing can stop you and u want to learn everything like i do and your the only person i can call at 2am without worrying and your tall and i think im in love

*

James Potter to Lily Evans: sitting on third floor by statue of humphrey

Lily Evans: can you pick me up

James Potter: we have a quiz in five mins

Lily Evans: its important

James Potter: ill b right there

*

Sirius Black to twats + grammer twat: LAMES HAPPEND

Sirius Black changed group chat name to LAMES: THIRE SNOGGING IN TH PARKIING LOT

Remus Lupin: IM COMING Marlene McKinnon: freaking adorable

James Potter: twat

Lily Evans: shut up black

[wolfstarstuff]

"I can't believe we broke the bed" (Wolfstar) They may be Wizards in the midst of training for a possible war, but are still teenagers in their sixth year at Hogwarts. And teenagers do stupid things, like Pajama Parties... and with that, Spin the Bottle.

“I can’t believe we broke the bed”

There was no way to tell who looked more shocked, Sirius Black or Remus Lupin. The broken bed belonged to Severus Snape, who was nowhere to be found for the boy’s sake. In fact, Slytherin’s dorm was pretty empty in a kinda suspicious way, but none of the boys could give a flying rat’s ass about that - at least for now -, since their priority was to leave the bedroom as soon as they could.

Earlier in that day.

James Potter thought that would be a great idea to throw a sleepover on his dorm that night. Things had gotten so stressful lately with the possible war coming, and the excessive training - not to mention the upcoming tests -, so he came across this brilliant idea, and decided to call a few of the closest friends to join him and try to have some fun, or at least try.

Sirius, Remus, Lily, Marlene, Peter, Arthur, Molly, Frank, Alice, Dorcas and a few more colleagues were invited, and effectively showed up in the agreed time. Each one of them was in charge of bringing something to eat and something to drink. There were every flavor beans, chocolate frogs, chips, rolls and everything that they had manage to sneak up after the diner that night. Sirius and James were in charge of bringing the drinks, such as butterbeer, green ale, and even whisky, wine, vermouth and rum they dad bought some time ago from a guy in Hogsmeade, and kept safe until the perfect occasion came up, and that was it, the perfect occasion to open up those beverages.

They tried to keep it quiet to avoid bringing attention to the boys dorm, but everyone knew how noisy they actually were, so half an hour past on the pajama party and they were already singing, pillow fighting and considering playing some games beside exploding snap and snitch snatcher!, when Sirius suggested spin the bottle. The great majority there seemed to like the idea, so the boy explained the rules and everyone sat in a big circle on the floor, crossed legs and no idea of what would happen next.

First to spin the bottle was Peter. He challenged Arthur to make a quick lapdance on Molly and that was incredibly funny, because none of them knew exactly how to react, since they weren’t even close to be drunk.

The second one was Sirius, that challenged Marlene to pick someone on the circle and make out with them, and for his surprise she picked him, and the next thing happening was the two of them making out right there while the others watched, James yelling “You go pads!” and Remus trying so much not to look at them that he could open a hole on the bottle with only his stare. 

The third one was Arthur, that had James admitting he had a crush on Lily Evans, and literally no one there was a little bit surprised. He was not that good hiding his feelings, according to his friends.

The game continued, Remus was challenged to drink the rest of the vermouth remaining in the bottle, but he simply couldn’t get really drunk, his metabolism was unbelievable and everyone got really disappointed when he told them about it. Sirius was visibly drunk and finding everything really funny. Dorcas and Peter had their clothes swapped due to a challenge. Arthur had magical flames on his hair and molly had a green colored skin, that changed accordingly to her feelings. Lily’s turn to spin the bottle.

“I challenge Remus and Sirius to…” she took a brief pause, the boys were relaxed, thinking nothing really bad or humiliating could come from her. “break into Slytherin’s common room, go on Severus’ bed and, maybe make out? Yeah, that would be nice.”

The room fell in a ringing silence. 

“That… Is the… That is the most evil thing anyone could ask. Didn’t know you held such a grunge, Evans.” James was slowly clapping as Lily grinned and glared from Remus to Sirius, waiting. 

“I-I-I-we… We can’t do that, Merlin, that would-” Remus started but got interrupted middle sentence when Sirius passed his arm around him and yelled. “WE WILL DO IT. FOR YOU, EVANS.”

Everyone was really excited with the idea of that happening. James lent his invisibility cloak so they could sneak up into the room without anyone noticing them, but that was all.

The two boys could go inside the common room when Narcissa, Sirius’ cousin entered the place. They were very careful not to let anyone bump into them, and with them I mean Remus. Sirius wanted to go straight up to Severus bedroom and get things done, but the other insisted in waiting until things were calmer.

A few minutes had gone by, and the boys managed to find the right room. It was very different from their own dorm, but there was no time to discuss it. The important thing was that there was no one around. No one at all. The silence was starting to disturb the very nervous Lupin when Sirius took off the cloak, snorting.

“This place is pathetic. We could tear some things apart, or spell some casts here and there–” he started, but Remus grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer.

“It’s too risky to play around, they can arrive at any moment now… We should… We should d-do something to make Lily think we did something and… and then we can return fast enough to the dorm-” Remus was speaking very quickly, rubbing his hands in a nervous act and couldn’t help but glare at any point of that bedroom that wasn’t the friend in front of him.

Sirius noticed very fast how tense Remus was, but the grin on his face wouldn’t vanish. He was a little bit drunk and filled with courage and determination, if he didn’t do anything right there, he wouldn’t be able to do it after, probably. So he started moving towards Remus, agreeing with whatever he was saying with a soft head shake now and then, and when the other bumped into Snape’s bed, Sirius finally answered.

“Why don’t we simply do as we were challenged to? I don’t wanna chicken out like this. Don’t you think Evans would know if we lied?” he started, and for Remus’ despair, he didn’t stop there. “Or you think she’s dumb enough to think we did something that fast?” 

There was no more room to escape behind Lupin, so it only took Sirius a small push to make the boy fall on the mattress, crawling over Remus the next instant.

“Good Goblings what are y–” Remus stopped mid-sentence when he felt Sirius hands running up from his belly to his chest from under his shirt. He winced and reached the other’s hair on the exact second he bit his neck. “You’re drunk Pads, get up!”

“I’m sober enough to know what I’m doing.” He pulled his face from the other’s neck and stared the dark eyes from a close distance.

“I don’t think so.” Remus replied, his face gained a reddish tone as things were happening. Sirius was certainly sober enough to realize Remus was not really pushing him aside nor telling him to stop because he didn’t want that. He only said he was drunk enough to think it over. The boy smirked and tucked a lock of his curled hair behind his ear. 

“I’m fine, believe me, and also, I saw your face when I was making out with Marlene earlier, and holy shit I didn’t think I’d ever see a jealous Moony.” Said that he waited some seconds just to appreciate how outraged Remus looked, and then leaned in for a kiss. The boy under him complained and cursed at first, and then slipped his hand to Sirius neck and continued the kiss. He wished he hadn’t told his friends about his metabolism, now he couldn’t blame the drinks on what was happening there.

They relocated and laid more comfortable on the bed while making out. Sirius was already shirtless and his fast fingers were undoing Remus shirt, while the other boy unzipped his jeans. At this point, Remus was on top, pulling the other’s pants, but that changed when Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him on his back again. It looked like a domination game, but both were really enjoying. Remus had already several hickeys on his skin, Sirius was not behind in this, too, his neck bruised by nails and teeth.

Remus chest was pitching, his breathe out of rhythm as Sirius reached his private parts underneath the boxer and started to massage it. Black gave the impression of being really amused by his view. Biting his lower lip and lusting for Remus’ moans and groans, enjoying threatening the other and forgetting completely where they were at that exact moment.

When Remus reached his limit, it was his turn to switch places and top Sirius, maybe threaten him a little, but he may have used too much strength, because the next sound he heard was a loud crack, as the bed they were simply went down with a even louder sound.

“I can’t believe we broke the bed.” Sirius said, seeming amused and entertained more than concerned. He laughed as he threw a malicious glare towards Remus, that was definitely shocked and starting to panic. “I think someone was really excited, uh?”

Remus stared at him with, frowning and thinking he could have forgotten what was the current situation there. He adjusted his boxers and got up, ignoring Sirius’ protests, he started to dress himself. “He need to go immediately, before someone comes to check what happened.” And only then Sirius seemed to understand the facts. Both started to get dressed as fast as they could and when they finally finished, Remus covered their bodies with James’ cloak.

“How can we proof we did something to Snape’s bed, though?” Remus asked, and Sirius hurried to grab a broken wood plank from under the broken bed. “Okay, that may work.”

They had no idea of how much time they had spent in there, but they managed to get out Slytherin’s common room and to return to their own dorm, where half their friends were wasted from drinking, and the other half, Lily, Molly and Dorcas seemed to be worried as hell.

“No need to worry ladies and gentlemen, we survived. The challenge is completed and the revenge too. Thank you, thank you.” Sirius threw the cloak aside and bent over as he thanked for something Remus couldn’t possibly understand what it was. The boy handed Lily the broken plank and explained what had happened, which leaded to the three girls and Sirius laughing really hard as Remus stood there, too embarrassed to answer any of Lily’s questions as she stopped laughing to start questioning about the things that happened before the bed has broken.

[thefairymademedoit]

How Remus Lupin and Sirius Black figured out their sexuality

So, Remus was the first to (-realise) fall for Sirius 

It was on fifth year, when James pranked Sirius stealing his robes while he was in the shower 

Resulting on Sirius running after James through the entire dorm in only a towel

Sirius was completely unashamed of his body. And for a reason.

Remus knew Sirius was handsome, everyone knew, that was like common knowledge

But he was also hot. In a very sexual way. 

And suddenly the reason of why his friendship with Sirius felt a bit different from James and Peter made so much sense. 

Of course Remus didn't say anything, I mean, Sirius flirts with every girl in the castle. He's very much straight.

So Remus doesn't say anything to anyone and just tries to focus on figuring out his sexuality

He eventually figures out that the reason of why it took him so long to realise that, was because he was bisexual, so he always felt attracted to girls, and boys just never crossed his mind. He didn't have such a fragile masculinity to panic just because he agrees that a boy is cute

Until Sirius that is.

Shit, that boy is just. So. Hot. 

And now Remus is aware of his sexuality and even embraced it

Witch makes things that much more difficult

Sirius has always been touch starved, ‘cause his family is shit

So he is very touchy and needy with his friends, the people he can trust

And even more with Remus because they're all about "protect moony at all cost" 

So in the very last day of the school year, Remus has been on edge a lot, cause Sirius has been extra needy as he always is at the end of the year

So he explodes and tells Lily everything

(It's kinda weird at first because he's not that close to her, but it's not fair to ask james to keep that secret from Sirius [he wouldn't make it even if he tried] and Peter was always so eager to be praised and useful for those two that Remus kinda felt he would tell them right away.)

So Lily it was. 

And thank Merlin he did, cause besides of feeling much better, Lily actually helped a lot.

She was very mature about the whole thing and seemed to really understand what having to hide attraction to someone felt like (which Remus didn't dare to ask- she seemed very frustrated about it) 

So they grew very close during the summer. Because they both lived in muggle neighborhoods (and Lily didn't have a wizard friend to play anymore) they saw each other a lot 

That made James slightly uneasy when they were back at Hogwarts 

And Remus had to reassure him about it and ended up telling James half-truths about why they were close now. Because he just wouldn't relax

"What if you two fall in love? You can't control these things moony, it just happens! and you're just so much more mature than I am! Lily will obviously like you more! And then I will be in the middle of your happiness and completely heart broken! What will we do then moony??" 

"Oh my god prongs, shut the fuck up I'm in love with someone else" 

Witch although did help James with his insecurities, now he was extremely curious.

And James Potter always gets what he wants, even if it is a fraction of it

And that's how everyone found out Remus is bi

Well, not exactly everyone, just the inner circle 

It wasn't as bad as Remus thought it would be though. I mean, they already accepted him as a werewolf 

And maybe now Sirius would stop the hugging and caressing at least while he was shirtless

He was wrong. Nothing changed. 

If anything it was worst

"He keeps asking me if he looks hot in his outfits Lily!!!! Of course you look hot! You would look hot dressed as a goddamn motherfucking house elf for fuck’s sake!! " 

So Remus suffered a lot those days, with unexpected erections and Sirius flirting with everyone

Including Remus (which somehow became worse after he came out) 

And Lily thought that was weird because if Sirius truly didn't care… nothing would change right? 

So she decided to test a theory 

It was on a Friday night right in the middle of sixth year, the group was playing truth or dare and she just dared Sirius to kiss everyone that was playing

She didn't want to drive too much attention on Remus in case he couldn't keep his shit together 

Of course people was allowed to say no, but it was Sirius so it would'nt be weird and everybody kinda wanted to know what pretty boy was capable of

So everyone said yes

Even Frank and Alice, who were already dating by then

Remus was sitting by his right and James by his left 

So he started with James 

(It was a weird kiss, even if it was a peck on the mouth it still felt kinda brotherly) 

He was somewhat respectful with the couple even tho it was still funny and carefree

He made a whole big deal with Peter (“ATTENTION EVERYONE, PETE WILL BE CONTEMPLATED WITH A WONDERFUL FIRST KISS BY ME”)

There was no big deal with Marlene and Dorcas since they had already kissed on previous years (“dark days those were" Marlene commented)

(Lily only realised that she was also a part of the group when it was too late but, Oh well, karma I guess) he made a lot of jokes and drama but it was quick and sorta respectful even tho James didn't say anything and didn't seem too fussed about it either [she kinda admired both of them for it, but don't tell anyone]

So finally, it was Remus turn 

He tried his best to look calm and collected but Lily saw the whole inner battle happening while everyone was distracted with the other kisses 

Remus didn't refuse and Lily worried that it was only because he couldn't find a good excuse, until she saw the eagerness in his eyes. 

Weirdly (or not so much) Sirius didn't joke around much, neither made a big deal out of it 

He just asked "Moony, will you give me the honor of allowing me to kiss you on this beautiful night?" 

Remus just silently nodded and raised his chin forward (just because he was sitting and Sirius kneeling, cause of course Remus is taller) 

Lily (as she was right beside them) saw Sirius just look at Remus' face for a second before leaning 

And it was different. Different from the others. 

It wasn't because it was the longest, since he took a long time making a big deal with Peter, even tho it was longer than the rest

It was hands on jaws, and necks, and fingers through soft hair and carressing cheeks

It was just… a bit deeper, and a bit more caring, and a bit more delicate

Just that little bit.

And there was no joke afterwards (he was giving joke-scores. Peter got a 1) 

But not for Remus

Sirius just stood there for exact 2 seconds looking at Remus with a weird (wondering) face before sitting on his spot 

Remus was blushing furiously and seemed to want to run out, but that would give too much away, so the game just kept going

Until two short rounds later when Lily took pity on him and asked if he would help her get snacks

He was up even before she was  

Lily was a bit worried if he was mad at her or something so she approached him carefully

"What? Mad? No, of course not. It didn't rose any suspicion because he kissed everyone and I had time to prepare myself"

"So how was it?"

He didn't answer anything, just made a bunch of dramatic expressions and slowly exhaled a charged "Fuuuuck" 

She gave him a little laugh and they both made their way to the kitchens while Remus gushed of how fucked he was 

"What about Sirius? Your kiss was sorta different than everyone else's, right?"

"Yeah…"

For the next few days, Sirius was a bit weird 

He was more energetic [Which is saying a lot] almost antsy, but much more distracted as well

He also spent a lot of time talking to James in private, more than usual

Lily and Remus caught Sirius staring at Remus with a wondering face a few times 

And he didn't hook up with any girls

So, a month or so after the dare, Sirius came out as gay. To the whole Gryffindor

"ATTENTION EVERYONE, IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: turns out the reason why I hook up with all these girls is because I was looking for one that would make me feel something and the reason of why none of them actually did is because I am very much gay. (gasps) Yeah yeah, I was a bit reluctant on telling everyone at first but then I realized that this will make my parents really pissed So if anyone got a problem with my sexuality, you can come and talk to me directly"

James was right behind him with a very intimidating face at that. 

Sirius didn't stop being touchy and needy with Remus after that 

If anything he was even more 

And Remus grew somewhat more confident around Sirius 

He complained to Lily a lot less even tho not much had changed 

Sirius still kinda flirted with everyone, but it was part of his personality at this point 

When no one was listening Remus casually and nonchalantly flirted back with him and admired the very rare and adorable sight of Sirius Black blushing 

Remus was also in a constant good mood

So one day Lily just turns to him and says: 

"You know Sirius is into you" 

"Yes" 

"But you're not gonna say anything nor make a move" 

"No"

…

"I suffered for one and a half years, he can take it a bit longer"

But if Sirius had been on Remus place he wouldn't have lasted a week because he was very bad at hiding his feelings

So Remus provoked him more and more 

To the point of Remus’ feelings also being very obvious to everyone except for Sirius

That became a running joke through the entire group because of course James can keep a "secret"  from Sirius if it's for a prank 

Besides flirting back, Remus would start casually actively flirting with Sirius as well

And he would promptly reciprocate Sirius touches with more intimacy 

And he would always get closer to him to speak and use a lower voice 

Even unnecessarily 

There was this one morning that Remus got right next to Sirius ear and with the voice still hoarse from sleep, said "can you pass the milk?" and Sirius startled and flushed so much that he got up, passed Remus the milk, and left the great Hall without saying a single word 

James spilled juice out of his nose from laughing so hard 

Remus laughed too but also worried if Sirius would ever make a move 

It was one day when Remus decided to walk around the dorm room wearing only a towel that something finally happened 

James seemed to have predicted that it would be the last straw cause he got up from his bed and dragged Peter out 

Remus wasn't planning on parading a lot (not like Sirius did on fifth year) but Sirius face was just too much 

It went from shock, to drooling, to frustration very quickly 

So he just asked: 

"Rem, what are you doing?"

"Why, looking for my PJ Sirius, what looks like I'm doing?"

"..." 

Remus found this very soft shorts that his mother got him last summer, put it on, sat on his bed and got a book. 

He was not planning on putting that on, but he finally felt that something would happen, so he decided to Improvise

"Are you going to sleep on just that?" 

"Yeah, my mom got it for me, you don't like it?" 

"Oh I really like it, but aren't you gonna be cold?"  

"June is just a month away, call it the wolf, but I'm hot" 

"Yeah you are"

"Sorry, what was that Sirius?" 

"I said yes, you are very hot" 

Remus wasn't quite expecting that, so he just stared back at Sirius 

Who got up from his bed and slowly walked towards Remus

"I see. So, you have been playing with me Lupin" 

"Really, why do you think that?" Remus replied with a mischievious smirk 

"All this time and you knew, you little shit. The whole torture" 

Remus snorted

"Well you're not very subtle, padfoot" 

"Well glad to know that I don't have to try to hide it anymore" 

Sirius replied as he climbed remus's bed (and Remus himself) 

"No, I don't think you have" Remus said softly

And they kissed. A lot. For a long time. But things got very heated and Remus was wearing only those shorts so they broke apart for self controlling reasons 

Remus put his real PJs on, cause it actually wasn't that hot, much for Sirius unhappiness.

"Why didn't you say something? Since when have you known?" Sirius asked

Remus chuckled "I’ve known that I liked you since last year, and suffered a lot trying to hide it, so I thought you could feel it a bit too. I noticed your tells since the dare, thank Lily bytheway"

"Lily?" 

"I told her first than everyone else, to vent, and she said she noticed that you had a vibe, so she made that dare for us to kiss without raising suspicion. It worked" 

"Damn it, Evans." 

After some more kissing, Sirius said:

"I know how to compensate her"

"Yeah? How?" 

"Do you also think she likes James more than she did before?" 

Remus snorted

"Oh yeah, completely in love actually, I don't know if she just doesn't say something out of pride or if she's not sure James still likes her since he hasn't made a move in awhile" 

Sirius smirks and leaves the bedroom, a few minutes later he comes back looking very pleased with himself

"So, pride or insecurity?" 

"Both" Sirius replied and kissed Remus again. 

After a few kisses James barged in the dorm looking very disheveled 

"LILY ASKED ME OUT!! LILY EVANS!! ASKED ME!! OUT!! SHIT!!! WHAT?!?" 

Remus just smiles and says "Congratulations mate" with Sirius still on his lap 

And Sirius replies "well, what did you say?" Sarcastically

But James went very still and very pale at those words, and ran off again

After a few shocked seconds Remus just whispers: "that fucking idiot actually forgot to reply" 

And they all laughed for hours (actually years because "James Potter was so happy Lily asked him out that he forgot to reply" was just a story too good not to tell everyone)