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thefairymademedoit · 5 years ago

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How Remus Lupin and Sirius Black figured out their sexuality

So, Remus was the first to (-realise) fall for Sirius

It was on fifth year, when James pranked Sirius stealing his robes while he was in the shower

Resulting on Sirius running after James through the entire dorm in only a towel

Sirius was completely unashamed of his body. And for a reason.

Remus knew Sirius was handsome, everyone knew, that was like common knowledge

But he was also hot. In a very sexual way.

And suddenly the reason of why his friendship with Sirius felt a bit different from James and Peter made so much sense.

Of course Remus didn't say anything, I mean, Sirius flirts with every girl in the castle. He's very much straight.

So Remus doesn't say anything to anyone and just tries to focus on figuring out his sexuality

He eventually figures out that the reason of why it took him so long to realise that, was because he was bisexual, so he always felt attracted to girls, and boys just never crossed his mind. He didn't have such a fragile masculinity to panic just because he agrees that a boy is cute

Until Sirius that is.

Shit, that boy is just. So. Hot.

And now Remus is aware of his sexuality and even embraced it

Witch makes things that much more difficult

Sirius has always been touch starved, ‘cause his family is shit

So he is very touchy and needy with his friends, the people he can trust

And even more with Remus because they're all about "protect moony at all cost"

So in the very last day of the school year, Remus has been on edge a lot, cause Sirius has been extra needy as he always is at the end of the year

So he explodes and tells Lily everything

(It's kinda weird at first because he's not that close to her, but it's not fair to ask james to keep that secret from Sirius [he wouldn't make it even if he tried] and Peter was always so eager to be praised and useful for those two that Remus kinda felt he would tell them right away.)

So Lily it was.

And thank Merlin he did, cause besides of feeling much better, Lily actually helped a lot.

She was very mature about the whole thing and seemed to really understand what having to hide attraction to someone felt like (which Remus didn't dare to ask- she seemed very frustrated about it)

So they grew very close during the summer. Because they both lived in muggle neighborhoods (and Lily didn't have a wizard friend to play anymore) they saw each other a lot

That made James slightly uneasy when they were back at Hogwarts

And Remus had to reassure him about it and ended up telling James half-truths about why they were close now. Because he just wouldn't relax

"What if you two fall in love? You can't control these things moony, it just happens! and you're just so much more mature than I am! Lily will obviously like you more! And then I will be in the middle of your happiness and completely heart broken! What will we do then moony??"

"Oh my god prongs, shut the fuck up I'm in love with someone else"

Witch although did help James with his insecurities, now he was extremely curious.

And James Potter always gets what he wants, even if it is a fraction of it

And that's how everyone found out Remus is bi

Well, not exactly everyone, just the inner circle

It wasn't as bad as Remus thought it would be though. I mean, they already accepted him as a werewolf

And maybe now Sirius would stop the hugging and caressing at least while he was shirtless

He was wrong. Nothing changed.

If anything it was worst

"He keeps asking me if he looks hot in his outfits Lily!!!! Of course you look hot! You would look hot dressed as a goddamn motherfucking house elf for fuck’s sake!! "

So Remus suffered a lot those days, with unexpected erections and Sirius flirting with everyone

Including Remus (which somehow became worse after he came out)

And Lily thought that was weird because if Sirius truly didn't care… nothing would change right?

So she decided to test a theory

It was on a Friday night right in the middle of sixth year, the group was playing truth or dare and she just dared Sirius to kiss everyone that was playing

She didn't want to drive too much attention on Remus in case he couldn't keep his shit together

Of course people was allowed to say no, but it was Sirius so it would'nt be weird and everybody kinda wanted to know what pretty boy was capable of

So everyone said yes

Even Frank and Alice, who were already dating by then

Remus was sitting by his right and James by his left

So he started with James

(It was a weird kiss, even if it was a peck on the mouth it still felt kinda brotherly)

He was somewhat respectful with the couple even tho it was still funny and carefree

He made a whole big deal with Peter (“ATTENTION EVERYONE, PETE WILL BE CONTEMPLATED WITH A WONDERFUL FIRST KISS BY ME”)

There was no big deal with Marlene and Dorcas since they had already kissed on previous years (“dark days those were" Marlene commented)

(Lily only realised that she was also a part of the group when it was too late but, Oh well, karma I guess) he made a lot of jokes and drama but it was quick and sorta respectful even tho James didn't say anything and didn't seem too fussed about it either [she kinda admired both of them for it, but don't tell anyone]

So finally, it was Remus turn

He tried his best to look calm and collected but Lily saw the whole inner battle happening while everyone was distracted with the other kisses

Remus didn't refuse and Lily worried that it was only because he couldn't find a good excuse, until she saw the eagerness in his eyes.

Weirdly (or not so much) Sirius didn't joke around much, neither made a big deal out of it

He just asked "Moony, will you give me the honor of allowing me to kiss you on this beautiful night?"

Remus just silently nodded and raised his chin forward (just because he was sitting and Sirius kneeling, cause of course Remus is taller)

Lily (as she was right beside them) saw Sirius just look at Remus' face for a second before leaning

And it was different. Different from the others.

It wasn't because it was the longest, since he took a long time making a big deal with Peter, even tho it was longer than the rest

It was hands on jaws, and necks, and fingers through soft hair and carressing cheeks

It was just… a bit deeper, and a bit more caring, and a bit more delicate

Just that little bit.

And there was no joke afterwards (he was giving joke-scores. Peter got a 1)

But not for Remus

Sirius just stood there for exact 2 seconds looking at Remus with a weird (wondering) face before sitting on his spot

Remus was blushing furiously and seemed to want to run out, but that would give too much away, so the game just kept going

Until two short rounds later when Lily took pity on him and asked if he would help her get snacks

He was up even before she was

Lily was a bit worried if he was mad at her or something so she approached him carefully

"What? Mad? No, of course not. It didn't rose any suspicion because he kissed everyone and I had time to prepare myself"

"So how was it?"

He didn't answer anything, just made a bunch of dramatic expressions and slowly exhaled a charged "Fuuuuck"

She gave him a little laugh and they both made their way to the kitchens while Remus gushed of how fucked he was

"What about Sirius? Your kiss was sorta different than everyone else's, right?"

"Yeah…"

For the next few days, Sirius was a bit weird

He was more energetic [Which is saying a lot] almost antsy, but much more distracted as well

He also spent a lot of time talking to James in private, more than usual

Lily and Remus caught Sirius staring at Remus with a wondering face a few times

And he didn't hook up with any girls

So, a month or so after the dare, Sirius came out as gay. To the whole Gryffindor

"ATTENTION EVERYONE, IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: turns out the reason why I hook up with all these girls is because I was looking for one that would make me feel something and the reason of why none of them actually did is because I am very much gay. (gasps) Yeah yeah, I was a bit reluctant on telling everyone at first but then I realized that this will make my parents really pissed So if anyone got a problem with my sexuality, you can come and talk to me directly"

James was right behind him with a very intimidating face at that.

Sirius didn't stop being touchy and needy with Remus after that

If anything he was even more

And Remus grew somewhat more confident around Sirius

He complained to Lily a lot less even tho not much had changed

Sirius still kinda flirted with everyone, but it was part of his personality at this point

When no one was listening Remus casually and nonchalantly flirted back with him and admired the very rare and adorable sight of Sirius Black blushing

Remus was also in a constant good mood

So one day Lily just turns to him and says:

"You know Sirius is into you"

"Yes"

"But you're not gonna say anything nor make a move"

"No"

…

"I suffered for one and a half years, he can take it a bit longer"

But if Sirius had been on Remus place he wouldn't have lasted a week because he was very bad at hiding his feelings

So Remus provoked him more and more

To the point of Remus’ feelings also being very obvious to everyone except for Sirius

That became a running joke through the entire group because of course James can keep a "secret" from Sirius if it's for a prank

Besides flirting back, Remus would start casually actively flirting with Sirius as well

And he would promptly reciprocate Sirius touches with more intimacy

And he would always get closer to him to speak and use a lower voice

Even unnecessarily

There was this one morning that Remus got right next to Sirius ear and with the voice still hoarse from sleep, said "can you pass the milk?" and Sirius startled and flushed so much that he got up, passed Remus the milk, and left the great Hall without saying a single word

James spilled juice out of his nose from laughing so hard

Remus laughed too but also worried if Sirius would ever make a move

It was one day when Remus decided to walk around the dorm room wearing only a towel that something finally happened

James seemed to have predicted that it would be the last straw cause he got up from his bed and dragged Peter out

Remus wasn't planning on parading a lot (not like Sirius did on fifth year) but Sirius face was just too much

It went from shock, to drooling, to frustration very quickly

So he just asked:

"Rem, what are you doing?"

"Why, looking for my PJ Sirius, what looks like I'm doing?"

"..."

Remus found this very soft shorts that his mother got him last summer, put it on, sat on his bed and got a book.

He was not planning on putting that on, but he finally felt that something would happen, so he decided to Improvise

"Are you going to sleep on just that?"

"Yeah, my mom got it for me, you don't like it?"

"Oh I really like it, but aren't you gonna be cold?"

"June is just a month away, call it the wolf, but I'm hot"

"Yeah you are"

"Sorry, what was that Sirius?"

"I said yes, you are very hot"

Remus wasn't quite expecting that, so he just stared back at Sirius

Who got up from his bed and slowly walked towards Remus

"I see. So, you have been playing with me Lupin"

"Really, why do you think that?" Remus replied with a mischievious smirk

"All this time and you knew, you little shit. The whole torture"

Remus snorted

"Well you're not very subtle, padfoot"

"Well glad to know that I don't have to try to hide it anymore"

Sirius replied as he climbed remus's bed (and Remus himself)

"No, I don't think you have" Remus said softly

And they kissed. A lot. For a long time. But things got very heated and Remus was wearing only those shorts so they broke apart for self controlling reasons

Remus put his real PJs on, cause it actually wasn't that hot, much for Sirius unhappiness.

"Why didn't you say something? Since when have you known?" Sirius asked

Remus chuckled "I’ve known that I liked you since last year, and suffered a lot trying to hide it, so I thought you could feel it a bit too. I noticed your tells since the dare, thank Lily bytheway"

"Lily?"

"I told her first than everyone else, to vent, and she said she noticed that you had a vibe, so she made that dare for us to kiss without raising suspicion. It worked"

"Damn it, Evans."

After some more kissing, Sirius said:

"I know how to compensate her"

"Yeah? How?"

"Do you also think she likes James more than she did before?"

Remus snorted

"Oh yeah, completely in love actually, I don't know if she just doesn't say something out of pride or if she's not sure James still likes her since he hasn't made a move in awhile"

Sirius smirks and leaves the bedroom, a few minutes later he comes back looking very pleased with himself

"So, pride or insecurity?"

"Both" Sirius replied and kissed Remus again.

After a few kisses James barged in the dorm looking very disheveled

"LILY ASKED ME OUT!! LILY EVANS!! ASKED ME!! OUT!! SHIT!!! WHAT?!?"

Remus just smiles and says "Congratulations mate" with Sirius still on his lap

And Sirius replies "well, what did you say?" Sarcastically

But James went very still and very pale at those words, and ran off again

After a few shocked seconds Remus just whispers: "that fucking idiot actually forgot to reply"

And they all laughed for hours (actually years because "James Potter was so happy Lily asked him out that he forgot to reply" was just a story too good not to tell everyone)

#marauders #harry potter #my fic #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #james potter #lily evans #fiction #first fic #james & peter & remus & sirius #gayguy

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