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kazlifeadventures · 5 years

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Trinidad & Tobago - Carribean dreams...

I am so ‘vex’ that I won't be ‘liming’ in this beautiful place any more. I have been one lucky person to have been able to come here and hang with a local for almost a week. Jasmine has shown me her Trinidad and for that I am truly grateful. I have eaten so many local foods and they have all been fantastic. I have impressed the locals no end with my love of pepper sauce. The food here is tasty, spicy, and pretty much specific to this island. ‘Nah boy’, I am so very much enamoured with this country! One of my friends asked me if I had posted photos of the food. Truth be told, I don’t have a lot of pics, its not the most photogenic, and I seriously just wanted to eat it! I have partaken in the local speciality of doubles, with ‘plenty’ I might add - for those unaware that is with extra hot sauce and/or the mango bone that is infused with more pepper. Doubles is made with 2 baras filled with a curry channa (chick peas), it originally started as a breakfast food, progressing to be an anytime of the day food. It’s nutritious, tasty, and sold at street side vendors everywhere. Apparently even pizza and KFC taste better over here. This I can now say I agree with. Not sure if the food tastes better, or if its adding the ketchup, mustard, and pepper sauce that assists with the taste upgrade.....

Jas took me to the home of street food a little town called St James, and made sure I got to have saheena, (seriously amazing spicy little deep fried spinachy deliciousness ) as well as alloo pie...amongst other things. The locals only really eat out at restaurants on special occasions so that meant Jas cooked for me a lot of the time, and wow, just wow. I loved the chicken curry (brown), smoked herring, baigan choka, salt fish, home made roti, the fabulous goat curry.... I could rave on, but google Trinidadian food and you’ll understand. Jas lives out in the ‘country’ to the South of Port of Spain, the capital. We spent one evening heading around to some of the local rum bars. Rum bars are everywhere here. Beer is cold and cheap (and made here - love the Stag and the Carib!). I got to meet a few of the locals. Over here they will buy you a drink even for something as simple as the fact that they had to order over you slightly. At the bar. They loved to meet the ‘white girl from Austalia’, as out here they dont see a lot like me... The good thing is none of it was them just trying it on with the foreigner. These are genuinely lovely, polite, caring people. I had a dance off with some girls from Venezuela, and ended up drinking way more drinks then I paid for, eating (they sell bar snacks and’cutters’ only at the rum shops) some tasty wontons at one place, and some really tasty fried chicken at another. We then got some free food from another lovely local who bought us a drink, and also then brought us across some Souse and Corn soup from his food stall (across the road from the rum shop). Anyway I can now say I have tried Souse, not sure I’d eat it again, it was flavourful, but pigs trotters in broth with onion and cucumber is not on my list of things to eat again! I think I have decided that I need to come back to Aus and start my own Trini food store, I think it’d be a huge hit. Love the local beers. Love the rum here. Jas made sure I tasted the Puncheon rum - 75 % and you never get a hangover or upset stomach... I wanted to bring some home, but alas no room in the suitcase! One of the biggest things, I was not aware that this is the home where Angostura bitters is bottled. It was first created in the town called Angostura in Venezuela by a German surgeon stationed in Venezuela, originally produced there between 1824 - 1830. In 1875, the plant was moved to Trinidad and that’s where it’s secret recipe is still produced today.

One of the main religions here is Hindu, they have a giant (85 feet - 26m) statue of Lord Hanuman Murti located in the grounds of Dattatreya Yoga. The statue is the second tallest in the world, and the tallest one in the western hemisphere. When we pulled up onsite there was one man looking after the bookstore who allowed us to enter the grounds and take photos. We weren't allowed to enter the temple/yoga centre as we weren't appropriately dressed. The gentleman then showed us the book explaining how the statue had been built and answered all my gazillion questions. It was like having our own private tour! Jas then took me down the road a little further to show me the temple in the sea. This temple was originally constructed by hand 1947 -52 by Sewdass Sadhu an immigrant from India. It has since been added to, and tidied up, but it's an amazing place, and a site of pilgrimage for Hindus. It's also one of the designated locations for Hindus to perform the funeral pyre. Hindu religion requires that the dead are burned near water and a holy place.

Brian Lara is still HUGE here. He is a home town Trini boy so I completely understand. Cricket is massive, and the new Brian Lara stadium is a huge landmark. They had a cricket game on when I was here (Trinidad vs Jamaica) but they had sold out the tickets otherwise we would have gone.

I spent a day at the beautiful Maracas beach, located on the northern part of Trini. On the way there we stopped at the lookout and had a quick look at the food stalls. I got to try some ‘Chow’, a garlicky spicy way of preserving such things as Pineapple, apple, mango, cucumber... its yummy and not too spicy and I really appreciated the stall holder giving me a taste ( and Jas’s friend Isabelle for buying some of the pineapple one). Maracas beach is a favourite with the locals and its a thing to do to have a ‘bake and shark’ when you go to the beach. Betcha cant guess what I had... Can I say amazing (again!!) You not only get your bake (which is a deep fried Roti) You get beautiful fresh deep fried shark fillet inside it, then you go to a buffet like area and add as many of the additions as you want . Yep, of course I added a bit of EVERYTHING . I had to taste it all. Seriously that thing was amazing. BTW I do taste everything first before adding pepper sauce... pepper sauce heightens the flavours. Jas’s friend Isabelle got her son in law to give us a shout out on the radio station he worked at ( they had it playing at the beach), so ‘Karen from Australia’ is now Trini Famous... love it!!

Jasmine took me out to the Pitch lake, in La Brea, and I’ll admit, I had no idea what it was ( I thought it was a lake!!) Anyway, some how we ended up with a colourful local as our personal guide, he was You tube famous and has apparently featured on David Attenboroughs visit to the lake. I have to sit and edit my ‘documentary’ when I’m back in Australia, it’ll be awesome.. I promise. Suffice to say the lake is the most amazing tar pit. Seriously amazing tar pit. The roads leading into the area are all like travelling over mini crazy hills due to the impact of the tar movements in the area. You have to use an authorised guide on the site, which is fair enough as a wrong step could see you disappear forever into the tar... literally... Trinidads pitch lake is the largest natural deposit of asphalt in the world (estimated to hold about 10 million tonnes) Its covers about 100 acres and is about 250 feet deep. There is a cool legend involving the origin of the lake the involves a hummingbird (I like the story), Historically Walter Raleigh re-discovered the lake on his expedition there in 1595. It has that charming rotten egg smell, and the mud and sulphur water apparently have healing properties. Locals were there immersing themselves in some of the pools while we were there. As we didnt have swim suits we had to settle with getting coated in the mud on our legs, and for me, also my face...lol!!! I didnt get a chance to put it on myself, out guide was very keen to smear it all over my face... (and shirt and hair.. etc...). Rinsing it, after it had set, was a whole other process involving splashing what looked Iike green water all over my face (and legs), all I wanted to do was rinse my face with some fresh water afterwards - and it took over an hour or so until I finally got somewhere to do it. Let’s not talk about how much scrubbing it required later that night to get the last bits of our skin! A great fun day though, made all the better for our colourful guide! I have had a crash course in some of the Trinidadian slang/words and between that and their accents I am sometimes lost in a conversation... (definitely accents particularly when you are trying to enter the country and the border control guy is talking to you and you have to continually say, sorry what??? ) I’m a lot better now!!

Jas couldn’t make it over to Tobago as she had work scheduled at her house that she needed to be around for. So I decided to head over for a night, hire a car, and see what I could see. Its literally a 20 min flight over (only costs about 50 US return) FYI 24 hrs isn’t really enough to see everything. I didnt get to the water fall or national park. I had headed down to Store bay beach when I first arrived with instructions to try the curry crab, conch and dumplings in Tobago (its their local specialty, amongst a few other things). Have to say I liked the conch, crab was over cooked and dry, and dumplings were kind of chewy. The ‘provisions’ that I got with it were really nice though - Plantain, Potato, green banana, avocado ..I would have liked to have tried another outlet to give a second opinion, but didnt have the time. I did get to the beautiful Pigeon Park, a natural reserve area, filled with some shops, water sports hire, beautiful beaches and glorious spot to watch the sunset. I also got out to the Fort of King George in Scarborough hiking up the giant hill to take in the glorious views. Hilariously there was a traffic hold up on my way there due to some goats being herded along the road. Island time boy. I would have to say, as much as its a part of the one country, Tobago island is completely different to Trinidad. Its a lot more touristy for a start, it has more servicible beaches. The roads are not as pot holed as Trinidad. The people are still lovely, but you get the tourist scouters who are looking to sell you on anything they can. Its a beautiful place and I’m so glad I got to go across and visit. As always, I can always go back!

My time in the Caribbean has come to a close. (9-16 Oct). What an adventure. I have had a fabulous time, and recommend to anyone to come here and see this place, taste the food and meet the people for themselves. The country has their own issues with government corruption which impacts the improvement of infrastructure like roads etc. And there are warnings around safety as there are elements involved in crime that impact locals and tourists alike. This just makes Trinidad Tobago, not unlike a lot of other countries that I have visited on my adventures. It just means the more prepared you are to be open to new things, different ways of doing things, different cultures. The more you are aware of your own safety, and that of your belongings , the more you can avoid crime. Crime can impact you anywhere in the world, countries like this dont have it any more or less than others, it just seems to be in the media more....

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type-a-nomad · 7 years

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First Blog Post: Cape Town Day 1

Sunday Feb 11 2018

Growing Pains

I landed in Cape Town at 7:30am local time (CTT= Cape Town Time/ CT= Cape Town). Because I slept from SFO to Heathrow, I got little to no sleep from Heathrow to Cape Town, resulting in my accidental all-nighter from 11:30pm CTT. Everything is sort of hazy and out of whack. It seems like everything that could have gone slightly wrong, has gone slightly wrong. Or, at least, very far from the expected result. The first of these instances was in the CT airport. There was a driver that was supposed to meet me at 8am CTT and by 8:20am I was starting to feel quite nervous, as it is easy to direct my unease about the general situation of moving continents towards a short-term, tangible problem like my transportation. By this time, I am sweating from nerves and general physical exhaustion from hauling my duffle bag around looking for the guy who is supposed to have a sign directing me to him. Finally, I call the emergency number of the program I’m going through and they tell me to go to the information desk and wait for him to meet me there. So I do. Another 20 minutes later, all is well and my driver, Kyle, is blasting Lil’ Jon while speeding down the highway past the poorest parts of CT. There are thousands of houses made out of scrap metal. I saw roofs held onto structures by the weight of fractured concrete, wooden planks and sheets of tin propped up against each other, some structures were even two stories high. Then we were zooming through Cape Town, the first thing I saw was the prison, which was almost as depressing as the slums. But once we cleared the poorer outskirts, the water was visible and it was stunning. It was like the surface was covered in gold glitter it was sparkling so much. We stopped in front of a house in a rundown neighborhood, directly facing a large, white, and mostly windowless primary school. Kyle grabs my duffle bag out of the car (bless him) and dispassionately drops me and it at the front door of a dusty, brick-red house. I ring the doorbell as Kyle drives off. Nobody answers. After a minute, I ring again. Still, nobody answers. I reach past the metal grate blocking the wooden door and knock. I am starting to panic (again) and am knocking and ringing, feeling stranded and mildly disgusted at the dead, partially-squished rat I had to walk over to get to the door. 10 minutes pass. I am still frantically knocking. Then, I hear something. A short girl answers the door. She’s maybe 24, with a sleeve of tattoos- one of which is a large elephant with a very South African looking tree next to it. I introduce myself and she says her name is Cassie and she essentially runs the hostel. She takes me upstairs and shows me my room with three bunkbeds lining the walls, and a file-cabinet-like dresser against the fourth. The floor is covered in clothes and there is a girl sleeping in her underwear surrounded by around 5 half-empty fanta bottles and two sticky glasses with flat soda in them. I say hello and she makes no noise, clearly a bit irritated her sleep has been interrupted. Cassie tells me to meet her downstairs in a few minutes when I settle in. I sit down on the bed and basically curl up in a ball of confusion, anxiety, and relief. When I have taken some deep breaths, reapply deodorant, and listed things I am grateful for and things I want to learn, I hop down the dirty stairs in the dim house and find Cassie. She gives me a brief tour of the house and shows me how I have to shower in a bucket and then dump the bucket in a larger bucket. Then, when you want to take a number 2 you have to walk to the big bucket, fill up a small bucket with water, then find a way to dump the water in the small bucket into the toilet tank so you can flush. This is way harder than it sounds and it an extremely awkward process that is almost as stressful as it is embarrassing for me because if you grab the bucket everyone knows you aren't just going number 1. Most of my stress here hinges on the idea of making myself more embarrassed than I already am by fûcking up this process in one way (technically this whole extravaganza is called a grey-water system). After the somewhat unnerving house tour, I am starting to realize how incredibly foreign all of this is. Moving to and living in Florence was traveling to another country, Cape Town is another planet. Everything feels slightly uneasy when you walk down the streets. I felt very watched and distrustful of anyone around me because I had been warned so thoroughly about the impressive theft that was pulled off, even in broad daylight. Then, the first genuinely positive interaction of my day happens. Three girls, Jonna (Sweden), Ella (Sweden), and Natália (Brazil) say that they're gong to the beach and if I don’t have any plans I should come with them to get lunch and then go to the beach. The tight little ball in my chest loosens. We all go to the grocery store and upon our return, Cassie comes up to me and tells me that tomorrow I am moving to a HomeStay. My reaction is: “WHAAAT??!?!?!?!??!?!????”. I was NOT supposed to be at a Home-Stay and was clearly told by the volunteer service that I would be based at the volunteer hostel. I was completely caught off-guard and this was the LAST mix-up I would expect to happen. I make her double-check that it’s the right person she’s talking about and she confirms that yes, in fact my program is in an area much closer to the poorer neighborhoods, because those are the kids we are serving. Thus, I need to live close to them and that means living with a family. WHAT THE FÜCK? I regain my zen and try to just be a “go with the flow” kind of person, but I feel like a rock being unwillingly dragged down a river by the force of the water. After many minutes of mindful breathing and sunscreen application, we are in the uber to the beach. The beach is gorgeous. The South African Sun was incredibly intense. Even when applying several layers of thick sunscreen and sitting entirely in the shade, my skin was very offended I had decided to move to this continent. That being said, there were white fluffy sand, colored umbrellas, beautiful and tan, beachy South Africans everywhere, so I told my skin to shut up. My particular favorite of all my people-watching specimen was a 50-something woman in a hot pink bikini who was so freckled she passed it off as a deep tan. She had a lower back tattoo that said “Brooklyn Forever” in swirly writing, some Chinese characters on her back, a ring of thorns around her bicep, and a kiss mark on her lower right hip. Her small white lap dog came over and chilled on my towel while she drank some alcoholic beverage and told her four-year-old daughter to move out of her tanning chair because “I’m an ádult” (only self-important people say adult as aaaaadult). She also told her friend to “stay on the hunt”, when a 20 year old lifeguard passed and they both obviously checked him out, even though they were both wearing wedding rings and surrounded by their own children. From eavesdropping on their conversations I learned her name was Lisa, which fits all too well. I hang out with my new friends and learn lots of cool information. For example, Natalia has breast implants her boyfriend paid for as a present to her 5 months ago and is very happy to talk about them as a point of braggadocio (as it turns out, two americans in this volunteer hostel also have breast implants”. Ella has four tattoos, one of which is very large on her forearm that says “There is no progress without struggle”. She says she almost ran to the tattoo parlor on her 18th birthday to get it— but now she thinks it’s cliche. Jonna is amazed at my ability to recite facts I learned from various podcasts I listened during my unintentional all-nighter to Cape Town. For example, your likelihood of getting cancer increases by 40% if you average less than 7 hours of sleep per night over your lifetime. Cassie and her sister Ashley end up joining us. By that time I was entirely exhausted. My face was telling me it was time to get out of the sun even though I was in the shade, with a hat and sunscreen on. And, again, I was entirely exhausted so interaction with new people was a strain I was really not feeling. Finally, we call and uber and go back to the hostel. I cannot get the idea of the host family off of my mind as I am moving there tomorrow and have exactly no information on who they are, where they live, what the conditions will be, how many people live there, etc.. I decide the best way to ease my anxiety is to get something done. So, I go to the drug store down the street, Click-It. I buy around 10 items and when I’m checking out, the cashier does something very odd. He looks at me, smiles, and says “when you leave the alarm by the door might go off, just keep walking”. I kind of smile and then process what he’s really said, then process the fact that him and his female co-worker at the other register just smiled at each other clearly in regards to what he has just said. “Why” I ask. “Because I am not going to scan all the items they want me to scan. Don’t worry about it. Just keep walking”. At this point I’m like WHAT THE FÜCK IS GOING ON PART 2. Is he saying he is giving me some of my items for free? What on earth is happening. Well, then I go to pay with my Charles Schwab card that is supposed to be perfect and seamless to use and it’s DECLINED. So I pay with Wells Fargo and the world starts turning again. Right after I pick up my bag he reminds me “dont forget: DO NOT stop walking”. And Im like “Dude I just wanted my leave-in conditioner, I don’t need Mission-Impossible” But, whatever, I’m only 95% sure I can understand the gist of what he is saying because I am still having trouble understanding South African English accents. I scurry home, through the accusatorially beeping metal detector with my newly aquired, and possibly partially stolen goods and take my brief, bucket shower. Now, I am hiding in my top bunk, trying to collect myself and hide from human interaction because honestly, I’m getting close to being at wits-end. I am too overwhelmed to edit this so #nofilter yay I completed my first blog post. Happy First Day In South Africa, Bitches.

xoxo Q

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acidcorrodes · 7 years

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Update:

It’s been two weeks. Here’s what I see:

There’s still no electricity pretty much anywhere. Some hospitals have it, but very few of them, and most all in the east, in the metro area. Some areas of the west have it too, but by no means a significant portion of the population. People are dying because there’s no electricity to run medical machinery with. Most hospitals that are working are using diesel-powered generators that were never meant to be running 24/7 so some are starting to break down.

There’s very poor or no cellphone signal. I’m lucky I have some, but it’s slow to the point I can’t actually call anyone most of the time, and text messages take ages to send. People are coming from far away areas of the island to the few places that do have cell signal. People are stopping in the middle of the highways to catch some signal, in an attempt to be able to tell their loved ones that they are okay.*

They say half the people have running water now. I would like to know where the fuck. Most people I’ve asked, most people I’ve heard talking or seen posting habe no running water or- if, like me, they’re lucky- have it at unpredictable moments. We had water in my house last monday, then a couple days later for about 45min, then yesterday for 2 days. Always low pressure, to the point that to do anything with it, you need to wait for a bucket to fill. We have no water right now. Supposedly the interruptions would be scheduled for every 24 hours, but this has not been the case. Right now, I don’t know for how long we’ll have no water. There are entire towns that have not had water service back at all, especially mountain towns (most of our towns, actually) that only just now are beginning to be able to clear out roads leading into and out of town.

People are stealing fuel from cars, power generators… you name it. They don’t care about anything except cash money and fuel. If they find water and food, they’ll take that too. But I’m talking: people have legit left behind iPads in favor of taking with them $20 cash and a tankfull of fuel.

There’s no ice. That’s fine when it’s rainy like the past 2-3 days, but when it isn’t? People can die from heat too, particularly because there’s very little water to hydrate with. Even if there were ice, there’s no power to run a freezer with, so you can’t keep it cold for long.

The governor lifted the prohibition on the sale of alcohol and made it illegal for gas stations to limit how much fuel you buy at once (so that now people have to be allowed to fill their car’s gas tank all the way up if they wanna). This has helped reduce the lines to about 2hr long in some places, when it used to take the entire day. The sale of alcohol helps move the economy and helps people chill out for a bit- literally and metaphorically.

Some schools are opening again, but very few, and I don’t know that attendance will be particularly great nowadays.

The UPR (our public university system) hasn’t given a start date for resuming classes again. At this point, half the campuses have been incommunicated. The ones we do know of aren’t doing very well in terms of damage to property.

We’ve heard very little of the west of the island.

Very few local AM and FM stations work, only one local tv station works (channel 2) as far as I know.

Very few people have wifi. I don’t have wifi; I’m posting this with my phone’s mobile network- hoping it posts at all.

Curfew is 9pm-5am. Anyone outside past then can get arrested. Some exceptions are made, such as emergency personnel, people working in food and water distribution, telecomm, and similarly important tasks.

People are stuck at the airports. The international one that everyone normally leaves and arrives at is handling very few flights per day (dont know how many it is now, but it used to be 10 per day) and many flights are military or relief cargo. Last I heard, no international flights were scheduled. Don’t know if that has changed. Prices for tickets to Florida went up from $300 the round trip to $2000. Many flights are getting cancelled. People want to leave, but we’re pretty much stuck here.

As far as destruction goes: trees are leafless or torn down, to the point where I don’t recognize the landscape anymore. It looks like when trees shed their leaves for winter, coupled with how a fire makes them collapse or break. I don’t know how else to describe it. I can see things now that I have never seen before because trees blocked their view, and it feels so wrong. Many places flooded. The images on tv that I imagine y'all saw (because we’ve had very few pictures from around here, much less video, except on facebook for those who can login and what’s on tv, which isnt much) are of places that have poor construction or built in areas where it is forbidden due to the flood hazard. That’s why you see houses filled all the way with water. But everywhere else, places that have never been flooded did get flooded, and the water has caused giant mudslides in mountain towns, to the point where people have been unable to get out of their houses and help cannot get to them because everything’s blocked. In addition to that, most structures with zinc roof lost their roof in the storm, wooden structures collapsed, but concrete houses held up pretty good as far as I’ve been able to see. (I, thankfully, live in a concrete house.) El Yunque is destroyed. Most mountains are gray and leafless now, but the people near them, like me, are grateful that they blocked the winds some.

Distribution of stuff in the ports is beginning, I think. We’ve seem gas trucks driving around and delivering to gas stations. The aid you’re sending is in Puerto Rico, it’s just not being properly distributed or is hard to distribute due to the state of things.

You can mail stuff to people directly because some post offices are open, but there’s no delivery to houses so the person you mailed to has to go to the post office to pick up the package.

Trump is supposedly gonna come to the island today. Uh…. well then. Dude should know we need the cabotage laws lifted for more than just 10 days for it to be helpful at all, and he should send the help we need rather than send a minimal amount, late, and blaming us for everything. We’re not lazy, man. Everyone I’ve seen or heard of has helped to pick up from the disaster in one way or another. We also have no use for that golf trophy, so keep it.

Seriously, at this point, we don’t care who or where aid comes from. We just need it to come here. We also need help rebuilding the power grid, which is down completely. Like… I’m talking even concrete poles that carry big power lines fell to the ground and broke like they’re made of cookies or something. The 6 months without power estimate is believable. I can see it being longer than that in some places, even.

Editing this in: There's also been a rise in the suicide and murder rates. Additionally, it seems the death toll from the hurricane is being underreported by the government. People are saying hospital morgues are full. People are burying loved ones in their backyards due to lack of resources for proper burials.

We are US citizens. This is US territory. We matter, dammit, please hear us.

*Okay means not dead. For me, because I’m lucky, it means I also have a roof to sleep under and food and water for a couple of days, plus access to supplies when we start running out of them. For many people, it is not so.

#ooc #hurricane maria #puerto rico #psa #update

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glowstickhaloboy · 7 years

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klance roommates au

usual disclaimer: its long as hell

keith is the newly hired, up-and-coming sales rep of his office job. hes fresh out of college, determined, and as awkward as he is in real life, he knows how to make a sale because its all scripted. his boss, doris, a wrinkly old lady who brings in cookies for the office at the end of every month, adores this strapping young man with a real work ethic.

his brother, shiro, is an ethics professor at the local university, Bullshit University (BU). while shiro is glad that keith is doing really well in life for this age, he has this annoying habit of constantly asking keith if hes alright, or if he needs anything, or if theres anything he feels like he wants to do to make himself better. keith always says no.

BU has a bs program called Apprenticeship, wherein a student will be mentored/sponsored by a professor, and the ethics department is head of the program, so shiro also hand picks his own apprentice and its a Big Deal and there are so many kids who apply for it not only because professor shirogane is hot as balls, but because this program gives out credits like candy. this semester’s lucky apprentice is none other than lance mcclain.

lance, if you ask him, will say that this all went completely according to plan and he never once doubted that shiro would pick him. on the inside, he is in an eternal state of wtf wtf wtf wtf how did i do this??!?!?!!!

keith knows that this is something shiro does because shiro likes to update keith on his life, so he’ll call and they’ll chat for a while and usually there will be some mention of an apprentice and whats going on with their studies. as the school year comes to an end, keith obligingly asks shiro who his chosen apprentice is for the upcoming year.

the line goes quiet.

“shiro? did i lose you?”

“no, im still here.”

more silence.

keith says, “what is it.”

“i have a small favor to ask of you.”

lance, if you asked him, would say that his interview with shiro went very well. he would say that he had shiro eating out of the palm of his hand. in reality, there was a lot more crying about money and family matters and anxiety for the future, and when shiro offered lance a tissue lance mistakenly grabbed shiro’s tie and blew his nose into it. two weeks later, he was asked to submit a final letter of intent, which he almost didn’t do because he was too embarrassed, then stayed up all night before the deadline because he couldnt not take a shot at it.

the problem with an apprenticeship position was that it was not like a residency staff position, wherein lance could live on campus without being charged a room & board fee, and he could not be both a part of residency staff and an apprentice. (the residency staff made his decision easy by rejecting his application, but still, it was a bummer.) that being said, lance had absolutely no money to stay on campus next year, and he could not commute because he lived four hours away from the school.

keiths apartment, shiro had not failed to notice, was a convenient 32 and a half minutes from the campus.

“you want me to what?” keith asks shiro, paling, staring into his categorized fridge. he knows where everything is. he decides where everything is. he is not sharing his living space with some kid.

“hes not some kid,” says shiro. “hes 20 years old and he needs this. i really want to make this opportunity work for him, but the school wont let him stay with me. please, keith. i think this would be good for both of you.”

“what is that supposed to mean?”

“can you honestly tell me that you arent lonely all by yourself?”

“no, im not. im comfortable and in control of my own life. i dont want one of your projects from the projects ruining everything ive worked to get, and i think its bull-headed of you to assume that you know whats best for me, like you always try to do, and i think its rude of you to invite someone to live in my apartment.”

“he likes mus-”

keith hangs up on shiro mid-word, fumes for a few hours as he gets some work done and eats dinner, then goes to sleep.

the next day, keith feels guilty, sure, but he stands by what he said. shiro would call him in a few days and initiate the apology, and they would both put it behind them without mentioning it again. until then, he would throw himself into his work and pretend that everything was fine.

at 6pm, doris knocks on the side of his cubicle, smiling down on him in all her wrinkly glory. shes 60 going on 80 with graying hair and a cozy southern drawl. “darling, why are you still sitting at that desk? its a friday night. youre young, youre cute, you must have a sweetheart you wanna spend it with, or some friends at least.”

keith smiles politely. “thats alright, doris. id rather work, honestly.”

“you sure, honey? i admire a good worker, but if youre working good for the wrong reasons, thats nothing to be proud of. dont you have a nice girl to go home to?”

keith isnt even going to touch the last part of that statement because he doesnt know doris’s political views and doesnt have the time nor patience for a lecture from her in case her warm hospitality is all a condition of keiths being a Model Young Man. he grimaces and says, “no, i dont. and if i did have someone to go home to, it wouldnt be the start of a night going out on the town, it would be someone to have a relaxing night in with.”

“that sounds nice,” says doris, with a minor suggestion behind it that keith should get his coat and get the hell out of here.

“but id really prefer to work,” insists keith. doris clicks her tongue and tells him to suit himself.

meanwhile, lance is panicking. here he has this amazing opportunity, and no way to make it happen. hunk, allura, and pidge all live on campus, apartments nearby are way too expensive, and nobody on the forums is responding to his roommate pleas. he has made it clear that he will take literally anything, and still, no bites.

“im sorry,” shiro says at the start of their meeting. “i tried to set something up, but it fell through. there are a couple of scholarships you can try applying for, but their awards arent given out until december, so youd have to find a way to make ends meet until then.”

“and i cant be a part time student working,” says lance, “because part time students arent eligible for the internship.”

shiro sighs grimly. “thats right.” for a moment, he does nothing but frown at the wall, and lance has nothing to say so he doesnt interrupt. slowly, without explanation, shiro picks up his desk phone and dials. after a moment of patience, he sets it back down and pinches the bridge of his nose. “i want to figure something out for you, lance. do you have any ideas?”

lance shakes his head, shrugging. “i asked a couple of my friends to get an apartment with me, but two of them are residency staff, and the other one takes too many classes a semester to be able to work enough to afford an apartment.

shiro is about to say something, but the phone rings. he snatches it up. “keith? i thought you were ignoring me. oh. no, thats not it. actually, um, i have him sitting in my office with me. i was hoping you had reconsidered.” there was a very long pause. “i understand that,” says shiro. lance’s organs are all mixed up. his heart is beating in his throat and his stomach is somewhere near his feet. “i understand that,” he says again. “im sorry for what i said. you know i didnt mean it that way. i worry about you, thats all, because im a worrier. im not trying to influence your life at all, i really am just asking for a favor. ive exhausted all my other options. keith, youre all ive got.”

he covers the speaker with his mouth and looks at lance. “are you comfortable talking to him?”

lance balks. “who is it?”

“my brother, keith, the person im trying to get to let you stay with him. he wants to talk to you.”

lance holds his hand out for the phone, and shiro passes it over. lance says, “hello?”

“give me one reason why i should let you stay with me,” says a voice that is not exactly what lance is expecting, but still intimidating. “its not a trick question or a test, but it is pass-fail.”

lance’s mouth is so dry, he isnt sure he’ll be able to speak. “i,” he starts, then decides that he cant, then realizes that he has to. “i dont know what im doing. everyones trying to tell me what i should do, or what i have to do, but your brother--um, professor shirogane--is the only person whos asking me what i want to do. that means a lot to me, and so does the fact that he chose me to be his apprentice. so i want to give this my honest to god best shot to repay him, and because i need to know for myself what im capable of. so, um, sir, if you can give me my foot in the door, i promise i would be grateful for that, and if it doesnt work out, then you can kick me out, and i’ll still be grateful that you gave me the chance. um, thanks for giving me the chance to talk.”

there was a long beat of silence. shiro’s mouth was covered with his hand, so lance couldnt tell if he was smiling, but his eyes were definitely shining.

keith said, “shiro always does make people want to be the best version of themselves. dont tell him i said that. put him back on the line.”

lance shakily handed the phone back. shiro put it to his ear. “keith? uh huh.” he chuckled. “i know.” he closed his eyes, the tension seeping out of his shoulders, and lance couldnt help but feel his hopes soar. “thank you, keith. i promise i’ll pay you back for this, and you wont regret it.” he hangs up. “lance, you have a place to live next year.”

come the end of august, keiths career is running itself. he clears out the storage room in preparation for a temporary guest with the help of shiro, whose job it is not only to set up the room, but to pay lance’s half of the rent if lance should default.

two days after the bed and desk are built, lance mcclain moves in. hes weighed down by bags when keith answers the door, looking boyish and disheveled. “whoa,” he says, and stumbles back, almost loses his balance, then manages to catch himself.

keith prickles. “what?”

lance’s eyes swoop up and down keith a clean once.

“youre shiro’s younger brother,” he says, blinking in surprise. “i didnt expect you to be so... you sounded older and mea-- um, on the phone. i thought i was going to be living with a forty year old dude or something, but you’re. um. hi, im lance mcclain.”

he sticks out his hand, strapped down by bags. keith shakes it.

“keith kogane. your room is down the hall and to the left. the bathroom is the first one on the right. my bedroom is the door at the end of the hall, the one thats always shut.”

lance nods. “right,” he says, sounding choked. “i’ll just put this stuff away then...”

he gets inside his room and calls hunk, freaking out about how the guy he has to live with is a lunatic and might also be a serial killer. how else did one explain his bathroom being so freakishly clean? hunk tells lance to calm down and that its just first-day jitters. everything will feel normal once lance gets the routine down.

but lance does not get the routine down. if keith isnt telling lance not to move the milk in the fridge (lance needed somewhere for his blueberries), then he was shouting through the bathroom door to shut up (lance sang in the shower! big deal!). lance was positive that keith hated him, which, between getting his ass kicked at school and feeling like a burden at the apartment, made for a hellish first month on lance’s part. he and keith never talked to each other, because keith was always leaving for work in the mornings before lance woke up, and lance would get back sometimes at 9pm or later, when keith was already showering and getting ready for bed. on weekends, lance booked it out of there to hang out with hunk and pidge, but keith was usually still awake when lance got back, either reading or watching something on TV.

the best way to describe the tension was frigid. keith didnt acknowledge lance so long as lance kept to himself. and the biggest mistake lance made was to break that tension while keith was home.

of course, lance didnt know at the time. he was pretty sure that keith was out, but too scared to check because the door at the end of the hall was daunting, and lance was pretty sure that keith was the only one who could pass through it without damaging his soul permanently.

lance had assignments, okay? he was a music major. that involved some instruments being played from time to time. usually, he was able to work around keith’s schedule, or quiet enough that he could do it when keith was sleeping, but when he wasnt worried about it, he wasnt worried about it. which led to a high pitched scream from a certain college student as keith banged on his bedroom door.

collecting himself, lance went to open it. “sorry, i-”

“what the hell are you doing?”

lance sighed. “look, keith, im grateful that youre letting me live here, but that means letting me live here. i have assignments, and music relaxes me. so if i can put up with your alphabetical cereal boxes, i think its fair that you let me get some work done.”

“im trying to get my work done.”

“youre not even at work!”

keith pinched the bridge of his nose, a very shiro thing to do. “i dont have a problem with the music,” he said at last. “but we better not get any noise complaints from the neighbors.”

lance saluted him and shut the door, breathing a sigh of relief.

after that, tension melted a little more every day. lance’s outburst seemed to have triggered a chain reaction wherein keith and lance actually learned how to live with each other. after respectfully asking lance to remember to take his beauty products out of the bathroom when finished with them, he realized that what lance really needed was his own shelf, so he adjusted. when lance left on saturday mornings and saw keith taking his usual post at the coffee table with his stack of files, lance would ask if keith wanted anything from mcdonalds before coming home. slowly, surely, they became roommates.

until one day lance came home and saw keith watching his favorite show. it was a tidal wave of loud that keith had never had to experience before. youre only on the first season okay scoot over can i put my feet up im going to who do you like best so far what do you think of the villain isnt the actor who plays jack so hot-

they both freeze a little, lances face going red. “um,” he said. “its not like im going to be bringing any guys home, so we dont have to-”

“im gay,” keith says bluntly, because it looks like lance is about to have a heart attack. he feels a little like doris in that moment, although he doesnt know why. “yeah, hes hot.”

lance melts into the couch. “that makes that easy then,” he says. “that makes this the gay-partment. actually, we cant call it that, because im bi for real, and gay-partment doesnt sound good anyway, but you get what im-”

“i get it,” says keith, a mercy killing. he presses play with finality.

shiro checks up on keith frequently enough, but he never asks about lance any more than “is everything okay between you guys?” keith suspects that shiro does not want to push, and is waiting for keith to be the person who actually brings it up.

keith doesnt. even when he waits for lance to get home from classes so they can watch an episode together before keith goes to bed (because the last time keith watched it without him lance threw a fit), or when lance’s awful car craps out on him so they have to share for a week while the mechanic handles it, which involves a lot of carpooling and, as lance calls them “jam sessions” where he blares his horrible music and sings along (but isnt actually so bad because sometimes he improvises lines to the songs and he can be funny when he wants to be).

keith realizes over the six days that lance is gone for thanksgiving break, not even a full week, that the apartment feels too quiet without him, and at the ripe old age of 23, he might have found his first genuine friend.

after thanksgiving, the barrier melts more. keith is cool with lance having friends over as long as he gets a heads up, and lance invites keith to his occasional open mic night performances at BU.

one day, lance comes home and sees keith hunched over some files on the kitchen table, tie loose on his neck, a half-finished bowl of leftover pasta abandoned near him. lance realizes that he has no idea what keiths job is.

“sales,” keith informs him. “i convince people that they need to buy eco-friendly plastic cups in bulk for their business or school.”

“sounds boring.”

“its not.”

“do you supply cups to my school?”

“theyre not one of my clients, no.”

“if you cant sell cups to your own brother’s school, how good of a salesman can you be?”

keith rolls his eyes and--hey, finally--looks up. “im the best in the department,” he says. “because i take my job seriously, lance. as seriously as you take your apprenticeship to shiro, which is the only reason i agreed to let you stay here.”

“wow,” says lance. “thats harsh. all work and no play makes keith revert back to his old angry self, i see.” he leaves. keith sighs, decides he can no longer focus, and packs up his files. he cleans up his wasted dinner and knocks on lance’s door. lance doesnt answer, so keith persists. when hes ignored again, he grits his teeth and says, “oh, real mature.”

he turns to go back to the living room and sees the bathroom door open. lance steps out, shirtless. “who are you talking to?” he asks, shirtless. he scratches the back of his head, shirtless.

“are you hungry?” asks keith. “i was thinking we could order a pizza and watch an episode or two.”

lance considers keith for a moment, shirtless, then rolls his eyes, still shirtless. “if thats the best you can do for apologies, mullet, then you have a lot to learn. i was going to take a shower.” he reaches around keith, shirtless, and pulls a towel off the inside of his bedroom wall. “call and order, i’ll be fast.” before he shuts the bathroom door again, he says, “i don’t are what else is on it as long as there are green peppers.” and then he’s gone, shirtless.

keith wakes up and wonders why he blacked out for a second.

the pizza arrives, and lance gets out of the shower, clothed, and one or two episodes become six or seven, with keith continuously having to pause because lance is talking and getting carried away because hes getting so excited. its thursday and keith has work tomorrow, he knows, and yet hes denying it. his stomach is full of warm pizza and lance has just stopped talking about the way it rained when they filmed this scene, but keith hasnt reached over to his play yet.

“you would be a good salesman,” he tells lance. “youve got the charisma for it.”

“keith, that is literally the meanest thing youve ever said to me. no offense, but to suggest i would spend my life sitting in a cubicle is unforgivable. to each their own, though. when all the little kids in your third grade class were saying, i want to be a firefighter! and, i want to be a princess! what made you snap up your suspenders and say, i want to sell eco-friendly plastic cups!”

“i dont wear suspenders.”

“thats not the question i was asking.”

keith shrugs. hes laying down more than hes sitting up, which as a rule, is frowned upon when using couches in this apartment. lance has been a bad influence in this regard. “its practical.”

“did you have to take business classes and everything?”

“i took them, yeah.”

lance throws his head back and groans, pokes keith’s thigh teasingly with his big toe. “man, i cant imagine going to school to actually learn a useful life skill. whats job security like?”

staring up at the ceiling, keith is unsettled to find that he knows the answer. “boring.”

lance sits up. “huh?”

“its too easy,” says keith. “every day, its just selling cups. a moron could do it. and my boss doris is a peach, but this morning she stood at karen’s cubicle across from mine for a straight hour talking about plants.”

“plants are so practical,” says lance. “you have a house plant in the corner.” he points at herman.

“his name is herman.”

lance’s eyes blow wide. “dude! no way! you named your plant! i didnt think you were the type!”

“ive never said his name out loud with another person in the room before.”

lance covers his face with both hands and wheezes. “you talk to herman when no one else is in the room.”

lance does not say that he had been calling herman shelby.

“theres a smaller one on my desk at the office named sherman,” says keith.

“not judging, dude, but why would you give so much of yourself to this job if it isnt what you want to do?”

keith shrugs again. “its practical.”

“im a music major and i dont buy that shit. why dont you do what you love? like, how does the time that you spend not doing whatever it is you love not a giant waste?”

“because...” keith feels like a robot. “its practical.”

“if practicality didnt matter, what would you do?”

keith considers lance, considers himself. he finds the answer but decides that its too scary right now.

“i’d sell cups on the moon.”

lance busts a gut. the seriousness of the topic derailed, keith presses play, and they go back to watching the episode. lance doesnt interrupt for the remainder of the episode, and when keith looks over, he realizes its because lance has fallen asleep. with his legs spread over keith’s lap. when had they gotten there? keith couldnt move now. he had work in the morning.

he was also already in his pajamas. and the sofa was warm enough, and the heating was on in preparation for winter. and keith was already up later than he normally stayed awake...

he woke up with sunlight streaming peacefully on his eyelids. that was usually a luxury saved for the weekends. SUNLIGHT? keith’s eyes popped open, and he remembered all at once talking with lance, falling asleep, lance. last night had been a lance-heavy night. his toes were underneath keith’s shirt, his face smushed into the cushions.

keith clawed his phone out of his pocket as he extracted himself from the couch, from lance. 9:08. shit shit shit shit. 2 missed calls from doris. he ran into his room, where his alarm clock had been screaming for two and a half hours now, and threw on a dress shirt, pants, and shoes, then he rocketed out the door, his phone already pressed to his ear. hi doris sorry sorry sorry i overslept im leaving now i’ll be right here this wont happen again.

his coworkers dont let him live it down. all day its, how ya doing, keith? hows that perfect punctuality youre always harping about? crazy hook up with your take-home pile, was it? doris is the only one who is understanding, and, luckily, her opinion of the situation is all that matters.

“whatever kept you,” she says, “i hope you had fun.”

keith is exhausted by the time he gets home. he unknots his tie on the way to his room, and as he passes lance’s door, he hears the soft tones of music from inside. he pauses. knocks. lance calls, “come in.”

keith pokes his head inside. theres lance, several instruments sprawled across his floor, and him in the center of them, a ukulele in his hands. keith smiles. “sounds good,” he says.

lance gives him a sympathetic eyebrow raise. “you look like shit.”

“thanks.”

“come sit down.”

grateful for the invitation, keith obeys, unraveling his tie all the way. he likes that lance doesnt make him say anything. he goes back to playing music, singing, a soft song that has keiths eyelids fluttering shut and his shoulders relaxing before they can help it.

the next week, lance’s semester ends. he heads home to swap the old year for a new model, see his family, catch up with neighborhood friends. theres the weirdest disconnect he gets where he turns to make a comment to someone, expecting them to be someone else, and gets frustrated.

keith, meanwhile, has resorted to calling shiro at night to somehow break this god awful silence. they get together on christmas, which helps. hes ready to spend new years alone with the LGBT section of Netflix when, at 10:14 PM, his phone rings in a way it doesnt usually. He presses accept, and suddenly Lance is grinning at him in a room full of shouting Cubans.

“Keith! My man! How’s it hanging! No, shut up Marcia, I’m busy. Hey, what’s up!”

Keith is a little bewildered. “Um. Hey.”

“hold on, its super loud in here. let me get to my room so i can actually hear you.”

“why did you call?” asks keith.

lance gives him a look as he enters a much more quiet space. “because my spidey senses told me that you were sitting alone on your couch like a loser right now.”

keith frowns down at his comfortable pajamas. “i am not a loser.”

“of course not,” lance agrees. “thats thanks to me, by the way, and my amazing ability to be in two places at once, thanks to facetime.”

“hows home?” keith asks, aware that suddenly they were chatting, and that the frown he’d been carrying around for days had magically lifted itself off his face. lance is as excitable as ever, even when hes miles and miles away, and keith wonders at the idea of all this distance theyve lived with between them suddenly closed. its an interesting thought.

he doesnt realize how long lance has kept him talking until 11:59, when lance brings his attention to the countdown clock. the inside of keith’s chest feels warm and calm knowing that lance didnt want keith to be alone on new years, and that he cared enough to sit in his room for two hours talking at a screen, and that he was choosing to spend the passover to midnight with keith.

at midnight, keith clinks a glass of champagne against his phone, as does lance, and they drink together. then, lance sombers.

“hey, um. i wanted to thank you for everything you did for me last semester,” says lance. “im still trying to put things together for the spring, but if you want, i could let you know how it goes. i mean, i dont want to stop talking to you, or knowing you.”

keith is utterly lost. “what are you talking about?”

now lance looks confused. “the end of the semester,” he says.

“what about it?”

“my apprenticeship.”

Apprenticeships only lasted a semester!

keith actually slapped his forehead. “lance!” he said, sitting up and clutching his burning phone tighter. He’d had to plug it in an hour ago. “why didn’t you remind me? are you trying to tell me you left? that you literally left to go back home without saying goodbye?”

“you didnt say goodbye!” lance defends, voice getting shrill. “i thought you werent the type!”

“i thought you werent leaving! or, i mean, i thought you were coming back right after!”

“I literally packed out my whole room, keith.”

“people need things when they go home.”

lance shook his head, dumbfounded. “i cant believe we’re having this conversation. what are you going to do without me? yes, keith, im back home and scouring the forums for a new roommate next semester. im trying to have a bonding moment where i thank you for everything youve done for me, but youre ruining it by being an idiot.”

“damn it, lance. you dont have to move out. youre more than welcome to keep living here. lance? did you freeze?”

“what? no. i just. i kind of thought you hated me.”

hate? the literal opposite. keith had to fight not to be sarcastic. “i dont hate you. i want you to stay here. not as a favor, but because this place feels weird without you here now. its as much yours as it is mine. we can put you on the lease if you want.”

“keith, that is the grossest, most adult thing youve ever said to me. of course i will legally sign a binding contract with my name next to yours.”

did lance just... keith’s smaller face went red next to lance’s bigger face. keith sat up a little straighter. “um, cool. cool. when you get back, then. so, you are coming back?”

“yes,” said lance. “and thank god it means i dont have to live with smelly jeremy and his flea-ridden dogs. just your flea-ridden mullet.”

keith narrowed his eyes and hung up.

he got a text from lance saying, see yr flea-tastic self on january 25th, then marked the day down in his phone. afterward, he opened the door to lance’s room, which was indeed empty. keith’s heart went a little spastic at the thought that january 25th could have come and gone, and he would have had no idea that lance had not been planning to return. he called shiro and berated him for not talking about the apprenticeship more often, so keith would have been prepared.

lance comes back and brings the sun with him. keith, who has been this close to quitting his job every time he walks into work, could not be happier. they move lance’s things in together, which involves a lot of stopping and making fun of lance’s possessions on keith’s part. lance grins and goes for the mullet, and somehow they end up wrestling on the floor.

keith thinks, i cant not kiss him.

and then his phone vibrates against his leg. he remembers that lance is living here because he has nowhere else to go, and that putting him in this position if he doesnt feel the same way about keith is a horrible thing to do. he untangles himself, guilty.

“where are you going?” demands lance. “i was winning!”

“its doris,” says keith. “gotta take it.”

speaking of doris, she notices. at 6pm the next day, she stops by keiths cubicle. “been a while since we last met here, sugarcake. trouble at home?”

theres no one else in the office, and keith is close to a meltdown. he swivels to face doris, hangs his head, and says, “i think im in love with my roommate lance.”

her face doesnt betray an ounce of shock, but rather, shes giving him the same look shiro used to when keith would talk about nightmares. keiths heart shatters from being touched by kindness. he doesnt leave the office for another hour, not because he was working, but because that night doris lets him tell her everything.

lance is still in class when keith gets home, eats, showers, and gets ready for bed. he almost doesnt know what to do with himself now that theres a whole other conscious entity living in this house--his fucking emotions. he has his hair pulled back, his pajamas on, and hes just getting ready to call it a night when the front door opens and lance tosses his bag in its usual spot under the window.

“hey,” he says, surprised to see keith up. “dont want to miss the early bird special tomorrow. what’re you doing up?”

“can we play?” asks keith.

lance is clearly doubly surprised, but he guides keith into his room. its as blissfully messy as it was before lance left for break. “you said we. do you play?”

keith picks up a lap-sized keyboard. “i used to.”

“i didnt know that. why didnt you say?”

“because you wouldve asked me to play with you.”

“thats true.” lance picks his ukulele, and they start to improvise together, each learning how the other plays, adjusting. “you werent kidding, you really play.”

“i wasnt kidding,” says keith.

suddenly, lance stops. “hey, is everything alright? youre acting weird. dont tell me youre regretting asking me to move back in.”

“no,” keith says immediately. “no, im just wondering if maybe... are you happy here? or is this just a roommate situation?”

“what do you mean, is this just a roommate situation?”

“you know what i mean.”

“no,” says lance. “i dont.”

“i mean,” says keith, “do you actually like living here, or do you live here because im your only option?”

lance sets down his ukulele. “i like living here because the bathroom tiles are cold when i get out of the shower so i hop to the rug by the door and pray to god i dont slip and break my neck. and because the sunset turns the kitchen wall purple while i make pasta. and because im the only one who can put my feet up on the coffee table. and because the cereal is arranged in alphabetical order and the plant’s name is herman. i like living here. here feels like home.”

keith kisses him. he stands up and backs away just as quickly, guilty, unable to believe he had just crossed the line like that. god, he’s going to have to tell doris about this. she would rip his head off so politely.

“what the fuck?” says lance, blunt and surprised. keith winces, about to apologize, when suddenly he’s being crowded up against the wall of his storage room, of lance’s bedroom, and kissed like his lips leaked chocolate. he melts. lance snakes one hand behind keith’s neck and the other around his waist, and keith tugs lance closer by the hips. the hand at keith’s neck digs into his hair and pulls out the hair tie. the hair tie disappears. keith pulls lance closer.

lance pulls back. “finally.”

“you had the option to make the first move, you know.”

“nah, not me, i’m a coward.”

“yeah, right.”

they kissed again, with keith holding tighter and lance staying longer. keith thinks, doris isnt going to believe this one.

that night, the taboo on keith’s bedroom door breaks when keith invites lance to sleep on a queen sized mattress. it takes lance a full five minutes to stop laughing at the clear cowboy paraphernalia keith inherited growing up in texas, but he doesnt mind curling up to sleep by the potted cactus on the nightstand, whose name he politely asks for.

keith stops killing himself working to sell eco-friendly plastic cups, and with all his spare time, he and lance start writing songs together. shiro, in a display of good sportsmanship, never points out that he was right.

#this is 6 thousand words #I WROTE THIS IN ONE SITTING WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING NANOWRIMO SHIT #'oh yea i will write 4 thousand words tonight to catch up'#JOKES ON ME I HIT 4K BUT IT WASNT FOR PETER #anyway heres klance #klance au #keith kogane #lance mcclain #im fucking SOrRY for the length #also im not proofreading it its been 4 hours #take it or leave it my friends

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ichangedmymindalready-blog · 7 years

Text

Day 5 Trying not to take stuff for granted, being grateful

I woke up this morning having to shit really bad because I ate a whole all-star meal at Waffle House with two glasses of OJ. I couldn’t decide if I should shit in the airport parking garage, find a bathroom near the airport or drive to a gas station bathroom. I ended up trying to find a bathroom in the garage - NONE. So I drove as fast as possible to the nearest hopefully clean gas station. I shit, I took a bird bath, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, took a couple bathroom pics with my laptop, and then cleaned my car. A laundry mat is right next to the gas station so I instantly thought of starting the day off with dancing but realized there is a worker in there and its kinda weird dancing in a place where people work. Instead, I researched everywhere I was thinking about going today with my GPS and headed to my first spot, Centinnel park. A park in between all the places near downtown Atlanta I wanted to explore. I tried to find Parking that was super cheap or free but couldn’t find that. I circled around the park about twice until I blew a tire trying to circle it my third time. Instantly drove to a gas station, thought I was shit out of luck but didn’t lose my cool, searched for the spare tire - FOUND IT. I searched for people to help me instead of wasting time pretending to know what I was doing. I spotted out two different construction worker men who looked like they were going to work, I asked if they could help. One was Mexican and seemed like he couldn’t speak English, he told me he was waiting on someone and about to go to work but never left even after I left, the other guy was black and told me he had to go to work but by the time I finally got someone to help me, he was getting into a car with a odly skinny woman with stray hair and her hands tightened around a few bucks. Finally a guy in the store who ended up actually on the job as a Doritos delivery truck person, helped me and joined him a old black guy with a fat red sports car. After that I Called a bunch of tire places, found one, and headed there. while driving, I listened to Karinas groovy and dance Soundcloud playlists and found some gems, my favorite now to be ____. Finally after some wrong turns on Atlanta butchered roads, I found the tire place got my tired done in twenty minutes, while that was happening I visited a photo place that had film cameras and lenses and found a Nikon battery charger! Now I can take pics! I mightt just stay an extra day in ATL. After getting my charger and fixing my car, went to search the area nad they have a lot of African foods here but I have already spent so much money can’t do that so I sit outside working on my laptop liked I had planned to do later in the day but I figured why not get this anxiety out the way since they paid me. Shit they dont have wifi. What the next stop? But first let me gut this blunt, through the paper in my bad then head to my car ( the spot where I do all my research, the lab) and Search and refinalize my days plan. I head straight to little five points, I park in the neighborhood for da free. I roll a half joint because I broke the paper when I threw it in my bag, grab all my shit and walk into the nearest, cafe or coffee shop. ITs 130 thats how Ive been starting my days and Im cool with it. Im in this place called Brewhouse cafe but its looks nothing more than a bar, a European soccer bar , which is pretty dope to me. I want to go to a European bar just to watch soccer and be a part of the hype honestly. Or an actually soccer match that would be awesome. Ive been doing my work now for about three hours but it feels like 5. But im watching soccer and eating sunflower seeds so im a be alright! So finally got out at the actual 5th hour and I walked through the town and ATLANTA IS A MAGNIFICENT GLAMOUROUS CLUTTER its like my closet theres so much different things that you can go through. So I went through every single store out of 5 stores until it was 630 and time for me to head to the movies. I went through a crystal store which was out of my comfort zone because I dont really believe in that and I was so about not being a non believe. Before we talk about the stores lets talk bout how all outside theres a line of homeless people, Atlanta has a problem with that but its okay., anyways, so either the homeless people are selling stuff or staring not a problem though, but anyways so most of them areselling crystals or smoking weed illegally doing card tricks for people its like Las Vegas strip for the needy. Anyways, I goo into the asecond store and I dont remember verbatim what the second store was so inn just gonna go off of what I remember. There was a medical marijuana store, a record store, a vintage thrift shop, a African store, and a store with a question mark on top of it with a sign on the door saying the hours are maybe this and maybe that and it was awesome to se that. I love this place, s after many many many pictures, I realize that I found my favorite record store and they sell a lot of comics here. Its time to go, I go to the car smoke that half a blunt as. I lose my way to the movie theatre. When I get to the movie theatre I realize this is my favorite movie theater because the shit they show is so fiucking underground but so fucking good. So I saw this movie called the killing of a sacred deer and its one of my favorites, its thriller like split and I realized those are my favorite movies. On to the next movie theater - yes next movie theatre -yes Im splurging- sue me. So its drive in first of all - second of all - I got in for free by going through the exit, the security was laid up against the ticket box looked me in the eye and i swear he shrugged, anyways I get in and find the station and boom im sitting there watching Boo 2! - good ass movie by the way, I LOVE MADEA FOR A REEASON SOME FUNNY ASS SHIT - by the way I bought some more blunts on the way to the second movie theatre at a gas station and heated up some ramen and popcorn - im set. So im high as shit laughing and killing the game with life. I leave hungry as shit and trying to finda place that doesnt cost to sleep. I find PONCE - a cool looking neighborhood thats modern, I look for a parking garage- gotta pay, neighborhood - shady, I finally go to this apt complex with a security camera but loose parkinhg, before I actually park, I go to find some food - =instantly I look up mcdonalds and go to just get some fries because aim on a budget. FUCKKK theres a local restraint HEL YEA BUDGET OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW, I go and its fucking awesome its called THE COOKOUT and I dont know if its just me being high or what but their food is fucking amazing. I order - burger, corn dog, fries and shake for like 7 bucks. I park in this drive in style parking lot set up the office and boom im in heaven once again. Doing what I want, then a guy passes by my car and open the door with one hand in his pocket - bitch im out - no way am I gonna open a door with onehand in my pocket unless I have gun- later I discovered its pretty cold he has a reasonable reason but I couldn’t do it. So now im in the “home” lot nad eating watching thats 70s show cause I missed it and im on the last seaozon of the office - gotta calm down. I go to sleep after eating and boom a day was made.

#journals #atlanta #writers #high #drugs

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kutee-boutique-fan-blog · 7 years

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There was a documentary made ref this in 2015, some details in this article, Her Wings Ready But My Heart Not I Love Mom Shirt, China battles to breath. ‘Why smog is causing social unrest.’ Quote: ‘This is a war where you can’t even see your own enemy.” These are the words of the Chinese journalist Chai Jing in her documentary about air pollution, Under the Dome. Released in February 2015, the film was viewed online more than 150 million times in three days before it was removed by the government. Who created the very first climate change and how many billions could we have donated to a club for a study about the possible reduction?

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You’ll argue about local government wasting taxpayers of specialist studying communities but okay with donating billions on what many NASA scientists agree is a very big donation for very small return. I love the work you do Mr. Fairey but you should be just as ashamed that you let your great pieces be bought by bots rather than your followers. Your messages are hypocritical if you don’t implement a purchasing policy that tends to those interested in your message rather than a Savy use of the internet to make money.

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I’m not political which most people will say I am but what I’m seeing as art! Either hand of any-side. It’s a statement without words…. that’s honestly better than letting a human being open their mouths and have a say so… I believe this piece unites us as one because regardless of what side is doing right or wrong we all want the same thing…. peace. Harmony. Unity! As 1 “we the people” I wonder if people realize that one of the reasons sea levels are rising is an increase in ice at the poles. More ice displaces more water so the levels have to rise. Simple basic science.

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The biggest killers in America today are fossil energy and guns. Coal employs 70.000 people at the moment in the USA, renewable energy employs 350.000 people. im not being rude but who voted Trump in? it wasnt Santa Claus. youve made your bed so go lie in it. America is a great country and i agree with anyone who didnt vote for him because hes ruining it, yet how did he get in when fifty two percent want him impeached? are the votes rigged? I dont think youre going about it in the right way to get rid of him to be honest. If everyone stands together and calls for his resignation surely that would make some difference? in england politicians resign if they fuck up. everyone needs to make a stand.

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I agree, their is so many ways of making use of out environment with depleting its resources. Such as using waving energy; the ocean is always going to make waves and this odesnot actually tkae anything away from it, its simply making use of a natural process that is in any case occurring. This advice could apply to all of our relationships: when they make mistakes, chose understanding, not anger, chose peace , not warfare. said by every genius who’s never actually known an adult who was raised this way.

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I know several, and they are absolutely amazing people! Heck, my husband has a level of empathy, understanding, and calm that I admire immensely! I’m so very grateful that my mother “woke up” halfway through my childhood & started treating me like a human being, rather than a slave (Her Wings Ready But My Heart Not I Love Mom Shirt) – our relationship improved greatly when she realized respect & dignity goes both ways. P.S. By high school, she’d let me sleep whenever I wanted (usually 4pm to 12am) which her friends judged heavily – they were almost as judgmental as YOU! And yet, I graduated with a 4.0gpa, have never been to jail, and work in the corporate office of one of the largest companies in the world.

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nottebuio3006 · 7 years

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I seem to be in a considerably better place this morning with all of this Rebecca business now. It's all officially drifting to the rearview, much faster than I expected. I think all the typing about it to Tumblr and my notebooks and stuff really worked wonders for my emotions...and just getting rid of them. And, assuming I'm "lucky" this week and I manage to actually avoid contacting her in any way, shape, or form (i.e. instagram, email, texts or calling, or showing up) then I think I, in my own way, will have "won" the battle.

Now I understand it might sound wrong to try and say I'm eager to win... but , I dunno, after being so wronged like this I guess I realize I sort of want "revenge" and this seems like the best type of revenge. To just basically do exactly what she did, and give her nothing further. To be honest I'm regretful I even gave her what I did ... 3-4 phone calls, a voicemail, 2 emails.... 4 texts. Again though like I said yesterday: Considering how often we talked and how random this cut was, I think she's sitting there in absolute shock that this was all she received. I think she really was expecting 100 of each! She got next to nothin', really, and now she's gonna get even less. Now she's really gonna get nothing...cause all my emotions I essentially just drained using my trusty notebooks, which I know is something she simply does not understand. See I tried to tell Rebecca many times about the beauty of keeping a journal, or a blog, or anything written, in order to expel negativity et cetera. She always thought it was kinda ridiculous. Now though I can almost see her sitting here and in the back of her head shes maybe realizing..."hes prolly just making a fuckin story outta this whole thing." And indeed I have. This entire Rebecca incident stole an entire week of my writing but ... meh.....it was interesting to write about, even if it did get repetitive. In fact I think it's one of the "warmest" things I've written in years. It actually all seems relatable and real in respect to my usual vampire hunter, elf wizards, etc stories.....

So yeah. I think I somehow got rid of most of the grief. The panic has definitely mostly vanished. Am I still deeply upset, shocked ,surprised, findig it hard to believe...wishin my old pal was back? Am I still curious where it might have gone had she not ranodmly cut it?? Yes. Definitely. But mostly I find that I have selfish reasons for missing Rebecca. Like I am not sure I miss her for "her" so much but rather just because I enjoyed having a female in my life, as a friend. I live a sorta awkward life so it can be hard to meet girls,even just as friends and even if I tell them I'm gay or bi etc. But now Rebecca has maybe taught me that my previous assumptions about girls (that I made before meeting her) were all sorta ...mistaken. There are poor girls out there who don't go shopping all day everyday and want Louis Vuitton purses and just scream and yell if they don't have them. So maybe I can somehow find a way to meet another chick and this time just be openly and completely gay w/ her and have a new .. better... bestie. If I can find that girl it'll be an even better relationship than I had with Rebecca ... far better ... but I just dont know WHERE I would find her. There's gotta be somewhere. I'm sort of thinking Twitter but then again I want a local. Its challenging...which is why I'm so nervous about this deep dwon ...I basically just think that no other girl will ever talk to me as much as Becca did..... and I don't want any dude friends jajaja.

Becca didn't always like her life but she had a good thing going on around her: She had a pretty nice, empty house she could always invite you into, any day of the week, the house was stocked with her daddys' never ending wine bottles, she had cars and was (often) willing to drive, she would always cook for you...she had an inground pool... Rebecca had a lot of positives and "add ons". Often I did not take any advantage of them (I literally only texted w/ her this entire summer, for example) but they were still there. Often times you meet people and they only want to come to your house...theirs is closed...etc... so I am worried I'll never find someone with a life as open as hers again. I'll nevr find a girl with an open life again. This is my big fear. I am just really stuck now on this idea that I want a female friend, if not mnay of them. I just wish it was easier to find. Ive got no fucking idea how to find it....

The irony of this of course is that, if you look at the last convo I had with Becca before she did the Cut (I published it on the Blog) you will see that this was, oddly enough, *exactly* what I was discussing w/ her. I had been trying to tell her how she made me realize, for the first time since I was in middle school, just how annoying I have often found havig nothing but male friends. I tod her I was very grateful to have her as a friend...cause she was a girl et cetera. I suppose this may have "offended" her . Well if it did I htink shes sorta close minded and ridicuous. I also think she doesn't understand just how much of a fucking challenge it can be for a dude who isn't "flamboyantly gay" to have a proper femme friend.

It isn't easy and depending on where you are in life it's , like I'm saying, next to impossible to meet. Since I am not flamboyantly gay I am not in circles of hairdressers or tanning salon workers to meet girls... =p. I don't think I would necessarily mind that sort of society; It just that I never wound up falling into it. I am not all that straight acting now, but I'm almost 28. When I was younger I was into different things and very straight acting. I was terrified of my own homosexual ideas until I ws about, let's say, 24. I was never by any means the most masculine of dudes but I was never thought of as gay either. I still don't really think I'm read as gay, even though I haven't dated a girl in almost a decade, and I think this is one reason Rebecca was maybe getting aggravated w/ me and I didn't realize it. I don't think she really likes men who don't "Seem gay". I think it honestly disturbed her that i come off to her as masculine but kept talking about my interest in the LGBT lifestyle. Again, the literal last thing I said to her before she cut me off was about my interest in th e LGBT world. I had literally said "I just wonder how one would make the initial break in ..to the culture....I just wonder how..." And then she went poof....

So in a way this almost now brings up th eidea that Rebecca has perhaps shot a massive arrow of sorts at my own recent "security " with my growing homosexuality. She has sort of made me feel a bit insecure about it *all over again* since she seems to have cut me out for trying to delve deeply into the subject w/ her. I am not sure how I am really going to react to it. In one sense I seem to feel a sort of strength, as though I am wearing armor now, because of the homosexuality...and on the other I feel like I want to run in the other direction, and not be gay, and chase her. Which is kind of weird? It's almost like the dude who wants to keep calling Becca isn't the queer in me...it's the straight...and the boy who is just shrugging it off... thats my gay self. Does it make sense? Maybe not. I just think it's to say that I'm deciding to run with the gay self here,. With DA BAD BITCH! And da bad bitch don't need shit to do with Becca jajajaja...

--signing out for now ...Lil Kim on blast....

#LGBT #writing prompt #fantasy stories #homosexuality #coming out of the closet #being gay #poetry #prose #ghosting #best friends #love problems #domestic abuse #getting over someone #break ups

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yeont4n · 7 years

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Answer all!!

here we fuckn goooooooooo

we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

u kno that 1 girl from sky high whose only power was shapeshifting into a hamster? her. no reason

no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?

id go check my mailbox to collect all my free promotional gifts and then prolly fake my own death

i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be?

there’s 1 thing but im not rlly gonna expose myself like tht on here smh

n.o: biggest pet peeve?

loud chewing/loud eating,,,,,,

we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?

i dont deal wit it lmfao it’s not my business who likes me n who doesn’t unless someone’s being particularly vocal about it:// in that case i’d prolly jus laugh about it

if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?

lmfao. idk tbh prolly decide which breed of dog i wanted to be known for loving

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

i dont order coffee often buh somethin w a lot of sugar.

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

maknae i guess? how about staff

rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?

i saw a video of yoongi performing intro:nevermind in like 2015 n was :o ! buh never looked into it. in 2016 i saw the fire and bst dance practice vids and was like :0!??? but again, never looked into it. then finally spring day/not today mvs dropped n i FINALLY looked into who these boys were n jus fell down an ever spiraling rabbit hole.. now we here

satoori rap: what does home mean to you?

a feeling. i mean i have a few physical manifestations of the concept of home: my town, my school, my house. things i can return to. but really it’s a feeling isn’t it?? safety, familiarity, comfort, fondness

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

yeah probably altho i dnt have many data points to go over rn

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

yall expectin me 2 say bts buh id want 2 be wit my friends n family . bts can b there 2 if they want

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

get into..... college.....

cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?

i never express appreciation n all that verbally thru words or physically thru touch buh i have my own ways of showin tht i care n i guess it dont count if i dont communicate explicitly like: hey ilu ! . what happened to actions speak louder than words smh

spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?

makeup!!!!!!!!!! >

jump: favorite childhood memory?

getting my dog tina!!!!

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

physically i tend 2 like the boyish types likkee think taehyung inu era i guess. boy next door vibes; ive never rlly been into the macho build or the preppy, neat look, or the rough around the edges, angsty shithead badboy exterior model like i like my boys S.O.F.T.! puppy-ish!

personality wise i guess jusssss idk i’m gonna copy n paste a list of qualities i look 4 in a partner that i wrote for a different ask game a while back: Sense of humor, openmindedness, compassion, reliability, ability 2 communicate directly/emotional maturity, ambition/drive/work ethic, etc.

i like it pt. 2: dream date?

yall prolly expecting me to say smthn like staying in n watching movies n eating junk but i’d prolly wanna go out n do smthn ngl. not a movie where u can hardly even speak or a dinner date where u feel trapped n stiff buh smthn fun n mildly competitive n engaging ??????? although jus chillin dont sound so terrible either

danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?

kinda not really it was on hampton beach n i had an allergic reaction but i wasnt on death’s door or nuthn

war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?

i bled thru my fucking pants in like 7th grade n it got on the chair! it was bad lol i was jus talking about this w my friend n she was like “yeah i remember that haha:)” shut up caitlin

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

moonlight sonata, ballade no. 1 in g minor, bts’ entire discography ties for 3rd

let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?

no lmfao . keeping my own, sure.

rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

some words that have never been used to describe me, grace: spontaneous, easy going, flexible. the most impulsive thing i’ve done is prolly take a random sidestreet omw home just for the heck of it lol

cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?

cute jeans w a belt, a crop top. white adidas. i like dresses too tho!! n i really like layered clothes (a mock turtle neck under a slip dress or like a pinstripe button up under a babydoll fit blouse. i jus think it’s fuckin adorable)

blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)?

prolly 2 or 3 days

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

fuck i rlly dk . doesnt that suck??

look here: do you have any hidden talents?

i can burp on command lmfaoofdj

second grade: proudest accomplishment?

dont ask me this if u dnt want to be made uncomfortable by how genuinely unproud of myself i am lol

i need u: are you in love?

wit k*m t*aehy*ng? yeah.

hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?

no........... maybe i havent found the right person but it’s not my cup of tea generally speaking

love is not over: ever had your heart broken?

no but now i know what i can look forward to haha

dead leaves: how loyal are you?

im rlly loyal if that commitment is mutual. w my family i’m ride or die i’ll fuck anyone up who comes for my asshole brother idc!!!!!!!!!

move: last time you cried?

cant remember,, i dnt cry much. prolly watching reply 1988 when bo ra and her dad were exchanging letters on her wedding day.

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

his name looks similar to my url thats the only hint im giving

run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?

i dnt really like travelling tbh but i do wanna go back to korea one day. not necessarily as a tourist but as a diasporic korean person myself

ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

idk. i cant imagine not living in the states tbh but i also cant say i love it here either

baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?

i can’t vote but i’m in my school’s youth vote committee which runs debates for local elections and registration drives at the end of the year. i kept up with politics a lot more last year but after the election i jus got 2 bitter. i know what’s going on but only sort of surface level smh

dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?

i wanted to be a teacher lmfao and i wanted to commute to college n save $$ bc i was a practical little fucker even when i was 6. these days i’m not that interested in teaching bc a) i’d be objectively bad at it and b) i was a classroom mentor for elementary schools and... realized i can’t work w kids tht small every damn day i’d rlly snap

fire: are you a spontaneous person?

no~

save me: your favorite place on earth?

rn??? m y bed

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

august rush lol

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

really......... seven other people:)? guess.

converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?

12??? 3 are the same black heel lmfao n a lot i havent worn in years but i still technically own them. i rlly b wearing the same 4 pairs in a cycle n 1 rotten bleach stained soggy mess for work shoes.

whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

weirdest dream i ever had was way too long to type out n had way too many references to people in my personal life to ever be interesting lmao

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAAH?????????????????

boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

does speeding count smh.

blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?

rolling eyes emoji. pass!

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

my parents!

lie: biggest fear?

real talk? failure. abandonment but i’m adopted, how cliche. also bugs

stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

date of death bc if i knew the cause but not have any indication of when it’d hit me, i’d be a paranoid agoraphobic wreck for the rest of my life

first love: do you believe in soulmates?

yes but i also believe you can have more than one! and that soulmates aren’t exclusively romantic

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

get ur fucking bangs cut

mama: are you good at giving advice?

yeah i think so

awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?

lazy daisy

lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?

horrible horrible horrible. directionally challenged. i can’t even find my way to the fucking grocery store down the road on my own. if i ever missed an exit on the highway you’d never hear from me again, i could never find my way back without a gps. i’m dead serious

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

take a bath or a long long shower. eat smthn warm, drink tea, do a face mask, change my sheets n snuggle up watchin a drama or movie or playin sims

am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?

wtf how do i answer this lmfao how wud i know lol

21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?

texting! calling if it’s a long story though

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

their modesty and grace ! they’re a true underdog success story >

spring day: who do you miss right now?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

math summer work smh

wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?

window seat!

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

#Anonymous

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4seasonstale · 7 years

Text

How I Celebrate April 1st in 2017

Birthday has become something personal for me... sometimes I made it extremely sacred I decided to make it my own way. You know traditional birthday celebration be like having your friends and family waking you up at 00.00 (eventhough it might not your exact birth time that actually its not your birthday yet, HA!) and the next morning you get baloons and blows the candles, have lunch and dinner and more surprises. Hold on, it doesn't mean i am being cynical celebrating birthday that way but I think having my own way to celebrate won't hurt anybody.

As for me, birthday is a moment to make at least one or two dreams come true, do something different, make something monumental, buy something you never had, make it special and celebrate it with the one that brought you up to this stage. Don't just wait around for surprises and giving hints or making yourself available just because you want to feel special. You are special and never doubt that. Don't let any thing or any one make you feel less just because they don't show up at your room at 00:00 with cakes and confettis, as for you who get that don't forget to be thankful and show how grateful you are by taking them to special occasion or make sure they notice how happy you are. The point is, you can always be thankful and happy by making your own happiness (and there is nothing wrong with relying on yourself to be happy because nothing matters more than inner happiness).

As for me, this year (and maybe without i planned it i have done this for years) I made a decision to be somewhere far from home to celebrate my birthday. I have planned this with my parents especially my dad, and I think he gave a special “your wish is my command” kind of trip because unlike previous trips he didn't give too much protests reading the itinerary and lists of things to do i made. He is even okay to go for Ninja Museum somewhere secluded, having Maiko make over experience for a day and paying for a overpriced hotel just because I want to experience being naked publicly in an onsen! :P

So i came this far, leaving the warm Bandung for sakura, geisha and onigiri. Although for that moment I have to leave my friends and some of them said things like well no birthday blowing cake then and no birthday dinner treat then, am I betting too much just to make some of my wish lists come true? I might be, but seriously when life offer you something better do not settle just because you want something mediocre.

So take this advice seriously, do something special on your birthday for your OWN SAKE, it doesnt always have to mean overseas trip, it could be just a me-time when you go to shopping malls watching movie alone and made yourself bankrupt because you buy those outfits you’ve been checking out for months. It could be taking your parents and best friends to the most fancy restaurant in town and let them order anything they like if it makes you happy by sharing your special day. Or you can order yourself a dozen balloons and the most mouth watering-cutest-most expensive birthday cake you can find and take thousands pictures before you eat half of it by yourself just because you want it. Or you can download 12 movies and shut yourself in your room for a day because it makes you happy. Take your special one and drive out of the city and enjoy relaxed day and night, just for a day. Anything, you can choose to do anything baby, just don't wait around for people to make you happy, you deserve to be happy even if it means you gotta work for your own happiness. You made it so far, why make it less special just because you hope someone else will make it better?

As for me, this year from March 31st to April 1st, me, my mom and my dad stayed at this hotel in Kyoto because it offers hot tub. After we arrived, we’ve been so excited to tried the “onsen”, well onsen actually means hot spring and bathing facility, usually a public one. But as the peak season and our tight schedule i have limited choice around Kyoto city. This might not be a real onsen but it gave me a real sense and experience of Japanese public bath (and hell yeah real public onsen on my wish list after this!!)

Entering the area, I have read the instruction of dos and donts given by the receptionist and some common knowledge i had from books and online articles. Rules like not taking pictures, being totally naked during the bath and when in the tub, rinsing well because it’s a public pool, the do not look into others body in observing way, were immersed to my mind. But by the time i opened the door and saw dozens women in various size and ages totally naked, i couldn't help my eyes observing a bit and having my jaw dropped a bit, until I can totally get myself back and started to undress just like them. I encountered a blonde girl who might not read or browse anything about this public bathing facility and being so awkward because she wore the pyjamas to the bath and get that killer look from the locals. We need to rinse well before entering the hot tub and it was a very enjoyable time for you can use as many shampoo, soap and conditioner provided by the hotels (Japanese loooooves to give you giant size bathing gels in brands like Shiseido, Kanebo etc). My body loves hot water, I felt so relaxed. We did the public bathing twice at 11 PM and 6 AM.

The pyjamas and before the public bath

The next day on April 1st I was planning to go for my favourite spots in every shopping malls/departement store in Japan : the basement floor! Don't compare it to dusty and airless food corner like the one in Indonesia, in Japan it’s a heaven for great quality fresh food and if you went there at the right time you might get a good discount. I wanted to buy some strawberry cheesecake for myself and maybe a single candle but sadly we were in rush that day because we enjoyed our staying at the hotel a little bit too much and checked out late in afternoon :p

So, we went to the Arashiyama instead. You know, that famous bamboo grove that made my parents laughed because it was easily spotted in Indonesia but it become famous internationally for its great promotion and maintenance. I actually wanted to try the Scenic rails and also gave a visit to % Arabica Arashiyama but the time is very limited due to the maiko make over experience i have booked. I don't regret this because it just become one of the many reasons i would definitely gave Kyoto another visit, soon hopefully!

And after that i went straight to the Yumeyakata, where my family would have our family picture taken with Maiko style. Maiko is a geisha apprentice, i chose this style because I wanted to look younger and had more ornaments on my hair. I don't know where this obsession came from, but I think it started with Memoirs of Geisha? Like how i was so obsessed with Fushimi-inari on my first trip to Japan, and now this make make over? I wish they taught me how to dance like geisha :D

Well, I really enjoyed this experience and how people hardly recognise me after i dressed up. I loooooove the kimono and the kanzashi. I love love love that day. Maybe one day I wanted to go back just to have a stroll around Hanamikoji dori, dressing like this for a prewedding? (another wish list alert! hehe)

After that we had a little stroll and bumped into a blooming sakura by the river. It was a very lovely sight: pink sakuras against the blue sky and ray of sun. I was really tempted to take a spot and have a little picnic if we haven't booked a Shinkansen to Osaka, where we will stay in an apartment. It was another excitement because i have never had a chance to try AirBnB and it was the first time we stayed at an airBnB!

Sakura by the river

The April 1st 2017 didn't come out the way i have planned it but it became even more exciting, no regrets just gratefulness and another reasons to be back ;)

Thank you thank you. I can't wait for another experience on April 1st 2018!

#spring #japan 2017 #2017 #vacay

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fromnatwithlove · 8 years

Text

Hong Kong Reflections

#Honestly really so grateful I came on this trip. I feel like i’ve really changed a lot throughout the trip & my life view is also very very different!! This may sound a little exaggerated, but I’m definitely a different person that I was before the trip. Initially thought it would be really awkward and boring, being the only young person and going with yeema, ah yee jane, ahma and gong gong and mummy, but wah i really feel like i’ve grown in the past 6 days than I have in the past year. HK LESSON #1: Fake it till you make it -- it works.

We all know that we act differently around different groups of people. We seem to take on a different persona, based on what people expect us to be & what they think we are supposed to behave like. For me, I’m very mischievous around my friends, very kind and patient and thoughtful around relatives, yet at home, with my family, I have a very short temper and for some strange reason, I find myself extremely reluctant to offer help to my family members. I never understood the reason why (and I still don’t!) but I realised that, your perspective and expectation of yourself is SUPER important! Small efforts to tweak your mental state and consciousness to pretend to be a certain type of person (e.g. polite, helpful, patient, kind-hearted) will actually help you achieve that kind of character for real. I’ve been so used to being the considerate, patient and helpful kid that I find myself super willing to help my family members at home, even when it’s not necessary to put on a show! So stop believing that your personality traits have to vary with different groups of people, and that, just because you’re short-tempered at home means you’re a short tempered person, that its in your nature and cannot be changed. You can actually just psyche yourself and convince yourself to be more helpful, make mini-mental efforts to not have negative thoughts and basically... fake it till you make it!!! I realised this works for my mom too. She’s usually super impatient and gets angry for the smallest things, but being around relatives forced her to control her anger and like. she can actually do it. We all can do it (be more helpful and patient, etc). It’s honestly just a mental mind game. HK LESSON #2: Filial Piety and Familial Love

There are many little things that say “I love you”, just that we don’t notice them. I love my Ahma so much. I’ve been saying this for so long like 10 years and I always beat myself up for not telling her that but honestly -- there are many things that don’t always have to be expressed in words. Just because I dont say it outrightly doesnt mean that she doesn’t know. I love offering to hold her hand bag, and my favourite feeling is holding her hand to cross the road and when she holds my hand back for balance as she walks, knowing that I’m always by her side and here for her! She’s forever asking if i’m cold and she gave me her scarf. She makes the effort to call me by the right name (instead of my sisters). I remember this particular meal time where, while we were all eating, she kept looking over at my plate to see if I had enough to eat. She would pick up food with her chopsticks and pile them up on my plate, asking me to eat more. I guess there are some things my mom does that I take for granted as well. Every time she asks if I have enough to eat or gives me good food, it’s honestly just cos she’s looking out for me. and I guess i’ve been taking that for granted la. When we argue and I get really angry I always think that I can never get along with my mom and that I cannot stand her as a person. But i realised honestly when she doesn’t get angry we really really get on very well??? which is such a strange feeling for me ahh. And I really honestly am very thankful for my mom cos i know she sacrificed a lot for us and just wants the best for us. without her I would never be where I am today la honestly. and I’m just thankful I guess. HK LESSON #3: Arguing is also a form of communication

The other day I told Ahyee Diana that Mummy and Jiejie always fight, and she said “It’s normal. Fighting is okay, sometimes it’s even good. Fighting is also a form of communication. It’s better than not talking at all” If you think about it, fighting with someone means that 2 parties actually care enough about one another to spend time explaining and arguing their point across to the other person, and usually when family’s argue it’s just because they want the best for each other (just that what they perceive as the ‘best’ may be different!) If you didnt really care for the person much you would not waste your time and breath arguing with that person and getting upset or angry over it. In some ways, its actually better than both people giving each other the silent treatment or not bothering to speak to that person at all because they dont care enough. I guess its true that, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. HK LESSON #4: Believe + Determination = Success Determination is not synonymous with confidence. I know I am determined but I am definitely lacking in belief and confidence! I know i’m always struggling to draw the line between having confidence and having an inflated ego. I guess I dont have the answer yet, but I think BELIEVING in yourself is very important. If you don’t even think you are a suitable candidate, how would you expect others to believe that you are a good candidate??? IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!! you must believe in what you are doing if not there’s honestly no point in even trying! That being said, ah yee jane told me about Uncle Yong Chun’s story of how he single handedly created the company and managed its success, even though he was born without a silver spoon. He was willing to suffer and do construction work to earn bits to fund his own local uni education, and eventually he achieved success. He never gave up on himself, never had a submissive attitude or told himself that he is disadvantaged and can never be good enough. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH and you honestly have to believe that! You have so much potential nat! you already have the determination part down you are just missing the part where you TRUST yourself and BELIEVE that you can do it :) :) HK LESSON #5: Grades aren’t everything | The future is unpredictable | Your choices make you

Your academic grades do not determine your future, neither is intellect a guarantor of success and wealth in life. Ah yee Jane was merely working as a clerk, Uncle Phillip didn’t do as well in school as Mummy, Uncle Teck Chee’s grades sucked so bad he had to choose the most unwanted course in poly. Look at where all of them are now. DON’T. SHORTCHANGE. YOURSELF. you have so so so much potential and capability as a person never ever view yourself in a discounted perspective and never ever shortchange yourself. Human beings are amazing and you are a human being!!! You will be able to do great things if you set your mind to it. Honestly, dont let your grades define you because being book smart only works well in the early stages of your life. but HOHO guess what? your early stages in life are over. It’s a different ball game in the working world and it’s up to YOU and your belief in yourself whether you can do it. Never ever think that just because you are less successful now, means you won’t be super successful in the future. The future is so unpredictable! Tables turn and you will never know when your efforts will just all be rewarded all at once :) HK LESSON #6: Have a Happy Heart

What’s the secret to happiness? Having a clean heart. One that is free from jealousy and judgement, from insecurities and suspicion. Free from negativity and criticism. Be simple-minded and positive, laugh at everything you see. Laugh at every little stupid story, even if its not funny. Laugh more! smile at people more! Don’t be jealous of people, and don’t feel insecure all the time. Be captured by the things around you and try to find joy in everything. Every time you want to complain, find something to be joyful about and make effort to be less critical and negative in your life. really really just be simple and happy because honestly nothing is more everlasting, authentic and long-lasting than that. Just stay strong and don’t let yourself wallow in self pity. Look at ah yee jane. honestly she could have just fallen into depression after uncle yong chun’s accident, and wallowed in self pity but she’s still so positive and cheerful and hopeful!! she’s satisfied by the smallest things in life and her monetary wealth is not the most important thing to her.

Be peaceful -- and as JJ said, why get so excited? HK LESSON #7: There is a reason for everyone’s character flaw, and mistake.

Don’t be so quick to judge and get angry when others do something wrong. Do not be so quick to make judgement and criticise them, for you do not understand their story. HK LESSON #8: People love you for who you are No matter what the results are for A levels, your relatives will still always think you are the best and they will love you no matter what. The school you go to does not matter to them at all. HK LESSON #9: It’s okay to be depressed. People Understand. It’s perfectly normal to go through hard times. Everyone has their own struggle and no family or person leads the perfect life (with the exception of people like JJ perhaps.) At the same time, speak to more adults if it helps and people actually will understand you! Don’t always think that just bc you had depression means that you’re damaged goods or that you are mentally weak. In fact, if anything you are just mentally stronger for having recovered. At the same time, this trip also made me realise that there’s so much more to life than struggling to meet people’s expectations of you all the time. just care about yourself and love yourself more. The future has so much in store! Jobs, marriage, family, friends -- there are so many people around you that love you so much in fact I feel so awful / queasy and guilty when I think about the nights where I lay in bed and told myself that no one would care if I ever died anyway, because people eventually recover and forget and get over it. SO MANY EXCITING THING LIES AHEAD NAT. As Russell said, the world is your oyster. Go out there and OWN IT. Overall, Have more confidence in yourself and love more! Sending the future me a lot of love (esp if you’re reading this after tons of rejections and poor A levels results). Just rmb! Your university doesnt determine anything, and nothing is certain in life.

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