#and do shit like this in the wake of their death.
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Thank you so much for going through the effort to even get screenshots! It’s seriously appreciated.
You make a good point, not least of which because this circle looks like a blast zone that came from within. It even pushed other bodies away. I’ve never seen Kindred gameplay, idk what their protective powers look like, but generally spells that are cast on you by someone else use the caster as the center of the spell, not the target. (Basically, the blast circle wouldn’t have been centered on Ambessa, but on the Wolf.)
The protected area around Mel and Jayce when they wake up doesn’t look like a blast zone the way it did with Ambessa (other than, you know, the Actual Bomb), so I’m not sure what to make of that.
I did not know that Ambessa had a bio already, let alone that included stuff from her music video! I thought she just had her blurb. It’s great that they clarified who she was pregnant with eventually. Uh, where’s Kino while she’s out at war then??? I imagine that Kino’s father was probably also a soldier and in the army too. Hopefully Kino was with relatives or family friends.
Also, Rokrund! It’s nice to get a name for the specific region Ambessa is from other than just the wider nation of Noxus. Is this a new name we’re hearing or has it appeared in any other League lore/media before?
“Visions that she would speak of to few others.” I wonder who those few are. Given how she treats her children, I cannot trust that even her kids are among these few. Their dad, maybe? I hesitate to say “Ambessa’s husband” because she definitely does not act like she has a husband, or maybe he’s deceased.
I plead the fifth on the Solari stuff because I know jack shit about the Solari, and if it turns out that Mel does have Solari magic, I do want to be surprised by their lore.
It still puzzles me why, if she does have magic, she wouldn’t use it to defend herself. You mentioned it being linked to situations with certain death. I’m iffy on this because it feels convoluted and kind of like a cop-out if that really is the reason can’t use it at will. If it is the case, though, then maybe Viktor wasn’t hurt because his magic clashed with hers, but because his death wasn’t guaranteed. I rewatched the opening scene, and he was still moving a little when Jayce performed Hexcore magic on him. If his death wasn’t certain, then the magic had no need to save him.
More likely, Mel’s magic has a cooldown and a long period where she needs to build enough magic back up to be able to use, but most likely, Mel doesn’t even know she has magic. There’s no sense in concealing her magic now, especially not after it saved herself and Jayce. Sure, it’d be a bad idea to come out about it to the world even after Piltover accepted Hextech since it would’ve been a secret for so long. However, I do believe she would’ve told Jayce. If not before, then definitely after it saved the two of them and Viktor still almost died.
Jayce needs as much information as he can get to figure out what’s going on with Viktor. Mel cares a lot about Jayce and seems to also care for Viktor even if she disagreed with him last season. She also has the same innate curiosity that Jayce and Viktor do. She’d want him to be able to solve this puzzle with all the information at his disposal and has been able to open up to him in the past with the trust that he would not share her secrets. She’d tell him so that they could figure out why her magic didn’t work as it was supposed to.
Unless there’s a reason we haven’t been told for why she needs to keep this hidden? If you squint your ears real hard, her line of “There’s no sense to these things, Jayce” in response to “How does the explosion do that to him and I just walk out without a scratch” sounds a bit like she’s trying to get him to drop the subject. After all, there is sense to these things for a scientist. There’s physics and calculations that go into why every single piece of debris falls in the way that it does. Which direction it flies in, how much heat is dispersed, the shock absorption in everything and every person in the blast radius, how far each person gets pushed across the room. To Jayce, “there’s no sense” might not be a comforting thing to hear. So was Mel just trying and failing to comfort him or was she attempting to change the subject? Or am I just reading too much into it?
Lmao imagine tho if Jayce found out she has magic, whether she already knew or not. He’d want to study her! And honestly she’d probably be down for it to find out even more ways to use her powers, maybe a way to replicate it with Hextech so more people can have a way to stay safe! That would actually be a good way to use Hextech to help people. And maybe Mel just has a scientist kink, who knows
Mel's protection should have saved Viktor too, and she's trying to figure out why it didn't
S2 ep1 shows a circle of protected stone where Mel and Jayce were during the explosion. My theory is that Mel's magic armor activated and saved them both. It seems like it casts a sphere of protection around wherever Mel is.
The center of this circle is not Mel's seat - it's Jayce's. She ran to Jayce to save him.
No other Councilors were in range of Mel's protection, so they all got hurt or killed.
But Viktor was, Jayce's words, "right next to" him. He was easily within Mel's circle of protection.
1) Viktor tried to run and mistakenly left the circle of protection. But are we meant to believe that Viktor, close to dying already and using a crutch, would have outrun Mel?
2) Viktor's augmented body clashes with Mel's
Why does Mel try to touch Viktor in episode 1? It seems like a throwaway moment, but not even Jayce touches him in this scene. So why Mel?
She's curious. And possibly, feeling responsible. She's wondering why her protection didn't work.
Is this Hexcore brand of the Arcane trying to reach out to Mel? Or trying to defend itself from her?
Mel was trying to protect both Jayce and Viktor, which is reflected in how she holds Jayce as well as Viktor's cane when she promises to protect Hextech:
But if, for example, Mel's magic is Solari in origin, and Viktor's is from the Void - or the Arcane equivalent of similar opposing forces - then it's possible that their magic rejects or hurts one another. So Mel's circle of protection either rejected Viktor, or was what hurt Viktor, and not the explosion.
#I did not intend my reply to be this long sorry#arcane speculation#arcane#mel medarda#ambessa medarda#mel and ambessa#jayce talis#viktor#viktor arcane#meljay#meljayvik#league of legends
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I will say, at the end of the day, I am very fond of Illario Dellamorte, despite it all. Yes, he managed to make every single POSSIBLE bad decision one can make, then figured out how to make a few more that nobody else would've thought possible. Yes, he was increasingly sloppy and incredibly stupid about it all. Yes, a lot of his frustration and rage is incredibly misdirected. Yes, I said before the game came out that I support him having a villain era, and I still do because it's fun and I love mess and drama—as much as he stresses me out and makes me want to strangle him because Jesus Fucking Christ.
Still, I think I like the idea of forgiving him. For me, there's something interesting in how he doesn't kill Caterina, in how he didn't ask for what happened to Lucanis and seems genuinely angry—wrong as he is to direct it at Lucanis—that the control that Lucanis so highly prized was taken from him rather than dying at his best, in how he can engineer Lucanis's death but experience a grief that still feels harrowingly genuine at the wake, in how he clearly is grasping at any possible advantage and is carelessly choosing his allies not because he believes in their goals or ideals but because he's desperately power-hungry and ambitious and no more. In how, if he is forgiven, Lucanis is impressed he almost got away with it, in how Illario goes to help the Crows in Minrathous in that last gambit.
He's a mess, and he's selfish and ambitious and vicious and contradictory. But, I have a soft spot for characters like him and relationships like his and Lucanis's, y'know? Forgiving him and forcing him to work out his life after he's burned nearly every bridge he has is just really interesting to me, especially given how Lucanis is still full of hope and affection for him alongside the hurt. How do you rebuild after all that, you don't even have the devil-may-care breezy mask anymore because everyone knows better now. Figure out where he fits now in his cousin's life, because I do think—at the end of the day—the affection and relief is still there from both sides, under it all. Deeply buried possibly, for Illario, but there.
I think there's enough pieces here to suggest that he and Lucanis have a chance to actually figure it out, and to suggest that Illario might actually get his shit together and be willing to given opportunity, time, and patience. It's also a messy choice (and a huge risk), but I do personally like the idea of forgiving him. I like the messy, insane, dramatic narrative of it. He has potential, as Lucanis himself notes. I would love to see if he can rise to it, now that he's gotten all of this out of his system.
Or, at least forgive him because there's something funny about that and I want to see what else he does if given the chance. It'll probably also be a mess, but I'd love to see what messes he gets up to when he's not plotting against the person closest to him in the world. It'll be fun! But, sincerely, I do think he can get his shit together, and I hope and believe he wants to. It's the more interesting and fun story to me, for both him and Lucanis, personally speaking.
#I have no sense of what the fandom at large's thoughts on him are but *I* like him and I like the mess and I want to forgive him.#I just wanted to write something thinking about it bc I talk about him a lot in DMs and had thoughts#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#bc it's also a little about him since I think forgiving Illario is more interesting for him personally#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#Dragon Age The Veilguard#Dragon Age#DATV#DATV spoilers#Veilguard spoilers#DATV things
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The older kids all have wills.
Nancy, Robin, Steve and Jonathan, ages 18 to 21, all have wills tucked away in various boxes under beds and behind wardrobes.
Their similarities only extending to the fear felt when writing them, mixed with resigned acceptance. A common feeling of “Man, it sure is sad that my late teenage years are spent contemplating the very real possibility of gruesome early death, I should be at the club.”
But in every other aspect they are completely different.
Nancy’s was written on a cream notepad with dainty flowers surrounding the border. Written from a view of logic and forward planning, a need to protect her family. All of the demands straight to the point, no nonsense.
Warped only by the small tear stains across the bottom.
Robin’s was clearly written in a panic, barely legible handwriting on a ripped off lined sheet.
Written after she read an article about a man whose boyfriend was refused access to him after his death because there was no will.
She refused to leave anyone in the dark like that.
Jonathan’s was the most emotional, surprisingly. But most of that emotion was palpable anger, the word “nothing” pressed so hard into the yellow paper next to Lonnies name it had almost ripped the page.
Even if it was the last thing he did, Jon would keep Lonnie away from them.
Steves was written begrudgingly, more out of a need to prevent his parents from tossing it all. They weren’t around to know about Robin or the kids, wouldn’t know he’d promised Lucas the car or Max his records.
They weren’t evil people, they just didn’t know. This way they would.
They hadn’t spoken about it in advance, hadn’t co-ordinated it or hidden them together like a morbid friendship pact. They had all just at some point come to the realisation that, given their current lives, it may one day be necessary.
Eddie had not had that thought.
Eddie Munson had many thoughts.
He had thoughts on the disease of pop music sweeping the last worthwhile radio station, he had thoughts on the price increases in his favourite gaming store in Indy, he had thoughts on selling enough stock to buy a new trailer gas canister.
What he very rarely had thoughts on was death.
It took a lot for him to say that these days, considering where he’d been not too many years ago. But these days the only thoughts on death he had were more abstract and fleeting, nothing more than the average schmuck.
And even if the thought would have crossed his mind, he would have shrugged it off with a ‘Wayne knows what to do.’
He had no other family and, as far as Eddie was concerned, nothing particularly valuable to single out to anyone. He may need one of the guys to burn the shoebox hidden under his bed, but that could be a more verbal agreement between bros.
So Eddie didn’t have a will.
Didn’t have a plan, didn’t have the worry.
And it’s not until he’s lying on his back, being cradled by a child that frankly should not have to see the insides of Eddies stomach, that he remembers that.
It rushes to him in a panic, the thoughts feeling slow and syrupy but in reality only taking a split second.
He needed to write a will.
He needed Wayne to know that Eddie /wanted/ him to have everything, not just given it by family rights.
He needed to write Dustin in, and Corroded Coffin, maybe even some random shit for all the other nerds.
A donation to Hawkins Church to really confuse them, not that Eddie would be leaving any money behind. Maybe they could have his guitar.
When he got back he would write it up on the finest non-scrunched up paper he could find.
When he got back he would take care of it all.
But that was a job for later Eddie, right now he really needed to sleep.
He could see Dustin crying above him but that was okay, he’d take care of it when he woke up.
When he wakes up he’ll take care of it all.
When he wakes up he’ll write his will.
When he wakes up.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#fic#mini fic#writing#angst#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#stobin#steddie#(its not there but its always on my mind okay)
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arcane s2 act 1
alright might as well collect my thoughts for posterity
first and foremost: obviously the triumphant cackle i was doing the entire hexcore scene. huge W for me, personally. did it always feel like the most logical and narratively satisfying extension from s1? sure. do i trust television to do the most narratively satisfying thing? no. especially not after fandom spent years of the hiatus trying to convince me otherwise
really all the jayvik scenes were, more or less, exactly what i expected/wanted and very satisfying lmaooo. i knew jayce wouldn't give a fuck about the shimmer or unethical experiments. i win!
other stuff i liked:
in the hiatus i've now seen all of yellowjackets and it has made me fonder of ella purnell and by extension jinx, lol. i love sevika and i think their grudging alliance in the wake of silco's death is a fun direction. jinx finding a random dumpster baby and adopting them immediately, silco would be so proud lmfao
i love caitlyn's dictator arc. i have to be honest i found her disney princess schtick in s1 pretty boring, so this is finally something more flawed and dynamic for me to invest in. yes girl get worse
ambessa rules. i was a little rolling my eyes at the "wow she was pulling the strings all along" reveal, bc it was so obvious and i was sort of hoping they'd do something more interesting with her. but this show has never been subtle. either way it still seems ambessa believes she's protecting mel? so i AM curious about how that plays out
i don't know shit about the league lore around the black rose stuff and don't want to <3 knowing league lore has never improved my arcane experience. but those sequences were very cool and took me by surprise. some good body horror with elora. good luck in the nightmare labyrinth mel!
stuff i liked less:
i think the stylized music video sequences are being a little overused. maybe s1 did them as frequently and I forget? anyhow, the police brutality one really worked for me, because it's the kind of info that def needs to be montaged, and the style was cool and engaging. cassandra's funeral ... i understand why they did it but i didn't like the regular arcane models mixed with the charcoal bgs, i found it distracted me from what was meant to be the emotion of the moment. and the jinx montage i found kind of mid.
i do think the pacing feels as breakneck as ever, to its detriment. i said above the jayvik stuff all played out basically as i wanted, which is more-or-less true, but viktor just be like I Have To Go Now was a bit abrupt. i can excuse a lot of that on the basis that i don't think viktor is really himself anymore because of the hexcore -- very flat emotionally, etc. and i assume we'll see them butt heads again later in the season. but still, the hextech weapons, the nonconsensual hexcoring, etc, would've expected something a little more explosive lol
plus, then we shift from that scene to the Furby Comedy Hour and jayce and heimerdinger having like a nonreaction to each other despite how acrimoniously they parted or how emotionally charged jayce must be sleeping next to viktor's empty cocoon etc... felt whiplash-y to me. but i hate heimerdinger and ekko teaming up to begin with lmao (and ofc ekko directs his frustrations with piltover to jayce, and not the 300 year president furby he has no beef with for some reason)
this extends to vi's decision to pick up the badge, etc. stuff just happens really quick and the fact that the passage of time in the show isn't very clear doesn't really help. i can understand why riot didn't want to spend two decades making five seasons of this show, but 2 seasons will probably feel too short imo.
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u/Long-Day-815: So... Chorus.fm (an old music website with pretty good inside knowledge) has been talking about this for several days now, prior to the post. Some tidbits from a bunch of different users (every thing in quotes is a Chorus.fm post):
10/30: Thread is posted in this very subreddit saying MCR is doing a TBP tour in baseball stadiums. Gets the announcement date wrong.
10/30: "Heard there was holds on baseball stadiums in multiple markets........... presume average cap is more like 30k for most of them."
10/30: "Black Parade. Book it." "Yes. These shows will be fine, especially since there are so few. They might take time to sell out but they will sell."
10/31 (after the Reddit user's announcement date was wrong): " I didn't hear anything about an MCR announcement happening today. I did, however, hear about a stadium announcement happening on November 12. That's all I know right now."
11/8: " MCR tour is going to have different openers for each city. Be prepared to think a mixture of "ok that makes sense" and "hahahaha wtf?" for the selection they have lined up. "
11/8: "This is getting announced on Tuesday right? I think that's the last I heard "
11/8: "I've had a few drinks so will spill some tea subtly/not so subtly. MCR Openers include: WAKE ME UP (Evanescence), Life Taxi (Death Cab for Cutie), Vince Furnier (Alice Cooper), Fight Club (Taking Back Sunday?), long-ass Instagram posts (Thursday), and my personal favorite and biggest WTF of all the openers: a band that wears the good kind of red hat (Devo)"
11/8: "They're playing metlife, support for that date rules"
11/8: "The US leg is apparently pretty short (heard "about 12-15" but can't confirm it so would have people travelling too"
11/9: "Welcome to Rockville were reposting polls for band suggestions with MCR the clear winner a whole back and apparently replied like "we would never" to someone messaging them "don't play with us about mcr”. Not confirmation but suspicious. Danny Winner previously booked MCR for Aftershock and Dunes for that / louder than life so he does have a working relationship there. Just speculation"
11/10: “Rumors suggest they were taking offers from European festivals (but declined) a few months back, also rumors they were trying to get UK dates at the minimum."
11/10: Frank posts cryptic shit on IG.
11/11: Thursday posts a teaser of New Jersey upside down (Metlife) with the "...in the dark of a stadium" lyric
11/11: MCR posts teaser on IG. Frank and Mikey verify it's real.
11/11: "some details. black parade anniversary tour. July through September. All stadiums."
idk how much truth to it this has. but it's sure something. devo.
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"a dude in Texas legally changed his name to "Literally Anyone Else" and he's attempting to run for President against Biden & Trump" [source]
okay, but putting aside the comedic aspect of this, it is concerning the amount of people who are prompted to vote for candidates just because it's funny. I'm not the biggest fan of how his policy about the boarder sounds [Site], but I do implore anyone who is able to vote in the 2024 US election to please research other candidates.
The media is only going to continue pushing the idea it's inevitably going to be Trump vs Biden 2.0 and we have no other options, that we have to vote for Biden again because of Project 2025. Is that whole thing terrifying?
Yeah, fucking absolutely.
But voting for Biden will not solidify our safety from that. Biden is exactly like the rest of them. He always has been. You can't make the lesser of two evils argument when they're both just plain evil.
You cannot say that Biden is even mildly a better choice than Trump when he is currently directly involved in a genocide. That is not some little fucking thing. That in and of itself disqualifies him as a lesser evil. Biden is just as bad as him and he will not save us because he doesn't fucking care.
Cornel West [Site] is an Independent candidate running for President in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
Claudia De la Cruz and Karina Garcia [Site] are running for President and Vice-President as the candidates of the Party for Socialism and Liberation in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
There are options.
There are people trying to change the corrupt foundation our system is built on, but we have to help amplify them because the mainstream media will not.
#have you looked at what's happening in New York & the subways#There's so many reported shootings and deaths and it just seems to be getting worse.#I just looked up subway shooting ny because I wanted to check before saying something#There's reports from like 3 hours ago about someone getting pushed in front of one of the moving subways & there's so many others#or how about the like thousands of police officers that they've got stationed at subways in ny literally doing fuck all#or how everyone's going through a housing crisis and cant afford rent and cant get medical care because it can cost#$4000 to get a fucking ambulance and that's cheap. That's a ride to the hospital less than 20 minutes away probably.#or the rise in hate crimes and bigotry and all the shit they're now trying to censor with the kosa bill#or how terrifying places like Florida have became for anyone thats not seen as an equel by people who dont view most others as equels.#or how they're pouring billions into wars while we're in the midsts of a homeless crisis#suicide rates are at record levels in the us and it's only going to get worse. theyre pulling telehealth which will take away#life saving medical care for people who dont have the ability to go in person. people's ability to get therapy and meds being taken away#Is going to kill people. or how the Biden administration has fucked up their Covid response so goddamn badly#people are referring to the pandemic in past tense and have lost understanding for others who they'd have understood before#they've lied and they've concealed and its killing millions of people and disabling even more. but they will not take accountability.#long covid is ruining people's lives and they've successfully led the narrative that its not real or not that serious.#they will sit there and they will lie. they will say they've protected women's rights and that its a top priority.#they'll say that healthcare is a top priority but have suggested that they'd veto a healthcare for all bill because of its price tag#but will spend billions and billions and billions on a genocide that the majority is against. the system isn't going to begin collapsing#it already is.#its crumbled and we must demolish the corrupt remains and rebuild a better government that gives a shit about people#ALL people.#they use basic human rights as bargaining chips.#the Democrats and Republicans on a Venn diagram is a circle. wake up.
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sabito = dirtbike redneck. you cant convince me otherwise
#fratboy sabito posting#sabito#kny sabito#idk#was suddenly hit w the realization that i think him being a countryboy/redneck kinda crazy is *hot*#[head in hands knees on the floor folded in despair]#i know im southern but this wasnt supposed to happen. it wasnt supposed to be this way. what the fuck man.#sabito & giyuu keep makin me Into shit!! what the fuck!!#i wanna draw him doing wheelies and flips off dirt ramps. doughnuts. taking off his helmet n having dumb lil marks from it.#trying and failing to convince giyuu to drive a dirtbike & instead him getting on a 4wheeler#sab & makomo bullying him for being scared of dirtbikes but not the literal Twice As Big 4wheeler#idk. sabito just seems like a biker in general to me. dirtbikes just got the most 'will do bat shit insane stuff for funsies' vibe to em#all of them are a bit crazy but dirtbikes are Scary crazy. bmx bike tricks but it has a fucking MOTOR why are you doing 20ft leaps and flip#off cliffs what the fuck.#i can see sabito being a little deranged when he gets excited. normal when hes chill but as soon as he sees somethn fun all#sense goes out the window. he needs to be child harnessed to keep him from throwing himself off a wall like 'i could totally make that jump#on one hand giyuu gets life experiences and exposure to making new friends- on the other he has to stop sabito from being#the equivalent of a human lemming trying to throw itself into the hands of death at every waking moment#sabito in turn keeps giyuu from being too boring or being a scardy cat abt things. he also learns the art of 'quiet time' and 'how to Chill#honorable mention of my vague raspy voice sabito hc#kinda slight but v obvious when he raises his voice or yells#i think the sabito brainrot is actually overtaking the giyuu brainrot now. oh no#hes fictional²!! none of this shit [motions to my blog] is canon to him#thasa whole 'nother bitch!! i declare this brainrot Unfounded#wont stop me tho. 'm havin fun
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tagged by the gorgeous and fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @aprylynn for february's roundup:
tagging the usual music favs: @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @spicyclematis @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi plus @kimtaegis for the amy macdonald of it all 💜 and also you, dear reader. MWAH
#heads up! here comes the director's commentary:#16 Carriages - now listen. i love texas hold 'em as much as the next daddy lessons supremacist#but holy shit. it doesn't hold so much as a candle to this track.#just unbelievably stunning. i'm begging you to give it another chance if you skipped over it the first time#Don't Forget Me - me and kayla and apryl all having ms rogers in this month's list... i think we might be better than everyone else actuall#End Of Beginning - good GOD we couldn't gatekeep djo any longer but it's worth it if only for all the bear tiktok edits.#and thus i have fallen for this track all over again. yes CHEF#Showtime - now if you've known me long enough you'll know i'm an absolute sucker for british indie rock bands#especially if their frontman looks like they might not make it through another winter#so you can imagine catfish has had an inexplicable hold on me. anyway their comeback single is actually pretty good#This Is The Life - fantastic tune. 2007 if you can believe it?#what a time to be alive and at the school disco and you're singing the songs and thinking this is the life and so on and so forth#Loving You Will Be The Death Of Me - tom odell can do no wrong in my eyes (ears?) anyway. lovely lovely new album#Never Need Me - been loving rachel for a while now and this single is brilliant. highly recommended.#plus the video features florence pugh and if that doesn't sweeten the deal then christ i don't know what will#Baby Now That I've Found You - i didn't even realise this was a cover of the foundations until hearing it again recently#because alison krauss just has an incredible way of making them her own and thus it's been on repeat.#Deeper Well - okay so now i'm seeing the country thread through this month's picks.#this is another lovely new one. hearing it on the radio and the fact that they have to censor “i used to wake and bake” is hilarious to me#shoutout kayla again because great minds..#Stay For Something - CMAT is phenomenal and if you haven't listened to her yet i can't recommend her entire discography enough.#she had her arsecrack out at the brits last night and well. i would die for her#(speaking of the brits. raye... i literally cried for her. go find the recording of her live at the royal albert hall.#-watch it twice and then come back and thank me)#artists-wise - most of these guys are consistently up there.#katie melua is a new feature this time because all my amy macdonald-ing put me back onto nine million bicycles.#used to get that one mixed up with 99 luftballoons but they're really very different. i'm a fool#so tl;dr: fantastic tunes. do listen#tag#receiptify
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VOX HYPNOTIZING VAL TO SAY HE LOVES HIM AND HEAR IT BACK AND ERASING HIS MEMORY TO NOT DEAL WITH TGE EMOTIONAL FALLOUT / DYNAMIC CHANGE IS SO GENIUS OH MY GOD 🤯
Val wakes up like "wtf happened last night?" And Vox is just like "You got high and we fucked 🙄" Or maybe they agreed to hypno play beforehand but Val is tricked into believing it was standard CNC roleplay or whatever kinky shit they usually get up to and he's like "why does my ass not hurt tho?" And Vox immediately just hypnotizes him again to stop asking questions.
What if Vox has been doing this for years? What if every time they do hypno play, he tells Val its for extreme roleplay but it's just so Val can't remember him asking for a vanilla sappy fucking where he gets all weepy and clingy and tells Val he loves him? Somewhere down the line Vox was able to admit his feelings to himself but NEVER to Val, because even if Val feels with same, that kind of convenient and relationship just just wayyy too emotionally vulnerable for Vox, so he just whips up these hypno sessions where he can get out his feelings so they don't biol over but still sace face. He could play out a whole "fake" relationship with Val for hours if he wanted to, then just mind control him into forgetting after. And Val would have no idea. IM LOSING MY MIND THIS IS EVERYTHING FOR THEM. CUZ IF VAL FINDS OUT SOMEHOW.. LIKE THATS SO DEEPLY VIOLATING AND WEIRD BUT NOT AT ALL KINKY THAT IDK HOW HED FEEL ABOUT IT. LIKE IF IT WAS JUST A SEX THING, SURE FINE, BUT VOX CREEPILY PLAYING DOLL WITH HIM TO THE POUNT WHERE HE HAS HOURS OF GAPS IN HIS MEMORY REGULARLY HHHHHHHHHHHH I AM BITING AT MY ENCLOSURE THIS IS AMAZING
Oooo you see the vision. I've always liked the idea that Vox and Val are not above using their powers on each other (or Vel for that matter, if we learn she also has some mind altering ability or more potions, I will lose my mind, that would be so hot of her). Hypnotism/Mind control is such an over-powered ability that living with Vox would have me on edge all the time fisibhdjau plus not having any privacy. Honestly, Vox is terrifying in that sense. I have also been thinking about them using their powers on each other at the same time to the extent that they're both completely out of it. As in Vox completely off his ass on Val's poison but also hypnotizing Val. So they're both technically at each other's mercy, but barely in control of themselves. Sure, Vox can make Val do whatever he wants, but he's so poison-high that he's barely coherent and anything he commands will be the poison talking more than him. And Val has no choice but to obey. Just both of them being victims in this weird fucked up power use. There's just so many fun ways they can hurt each other...
#Vox wakes up after regenerating; feeling like shit and yells at Val for using too much poison and basically fucking him to death#Val doesnt even remember what happened and is confused as to why Vox didn't just shock him away if he wasn't into it; Vox doesnt know eithe#Vox only realizes what happened when he chooses to watch the security footage back and sees he actually asked Val to do all that to him lol#when your lover's poison brings out the worst parts of your closet masochism & you mindcontrol him to fatally rearrange your guts😝 oopsies#I hope their powers play off each other in the worst ways#I love getting long asks that make me Think🥺#Anon this was incredible
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I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.
I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.
There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.
That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.
25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.
Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.
It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.
I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like
I dunno
Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.
I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?
All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.
I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.
#i really wanted to believe that if i just sat down and did the math i'd be able to figure it out.#but there is literally not enough time in the day for me to do all this.#i suppose i could sleep less. it's...not great for me to get less than 9 hrs a day#but i could probably pull it off for brief stints#a week on a week off or something#get an extra two hours a day that way#and then of course there's my old go to#i could just stop eating or taking care of myself#lord knows it's my well-being that restri ts my time more than anything else#and if i work myself to death like mom did instead of committing suicide at least the life insurance pays out#in case anyone gives wifey inheritance trouble#i already don't eat until dinner so that part won't give me a TON of extra time#but an hour a day at the end of the night to write does sound lovely so it might be worth it#on the weeks i sleep less i could use my 2 extra hours a day to do ingredient prep so that wifey's food doesn't go to waste as much#maybe even work on the garden and the yard's facilities a bit. i have a few projects that need time and attention so those'd fot in#if i cut my pain meds too i could put an extra $50/week back in my budget and i could use that for project supplies and emergency funds#god even thinking about this is making me so tired.#i don't know what this will leave of me#i've been doing this so long now#feels like the last time i remember having a consistent hour to myself every day was my BA sophomore year#and that was the first time too lmao#i'd spent high school waking up at 3am every day after going to bed at 12am because I needed to do my hw in the mornings#my bus left at 7:30am and i had to do all my paper assignments - make myself lunch for the day - wash dishes/tidy the kitchen - and THEN#i could finally make sure i had my shit together for the bus and maybe nap for 5min#then i didn't get home from school until 4pm and i had to fix the kitchen from whatever my parents did before i got back#then make dinner for the family#then clean the living room from whatever the pets had dome all day#then take the dog for her nightly walk and take a shower#and usually sometime after dinner around 9pm I would get permission to run to my room and try to get a head start on my hw before 11pm#that was my lights out curfew so it gave me a blessed single guaranteed hour to do something for me.....assuming i could stay conscious
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Not sleeping enough and having a low grade headache is just who I am as a person apparently.
#no reason for this nothing to blame my sleep hygiene is the best it has ever been. i am just fucked for life arent i? cool great#how do i figure out how to embrace this like the permanent ringing in my ears so i can function and not be aware of my own misery#poking my brain with a stick like the stupid meat blob it is let me solve your stupid puzzle you dumb jackass#-pers#-vent#i really blamed external factors this whole time only to get my ass handed to me when those were gone and be forced to contend with the#fact nah. you just have permanent insomnia issues. yeah not nearly as bad as before but cmon 😭#the options to treat this are more or less the same and still suck ass#ambien makes me do crazy things in my sleep and call and text ppl horrible things i dont remember. trazedone somehow doesnt do shit#and gives me nightmares for the short bursts i do get.#benzos were what i ended up on for the last few years of being on mediciation and you can only get 15 a month and tbh the sleep i got#on those did not feel restful it felt more like going under anesthesia then waking up like i was out but my body doesnt feel like it#plus i almost choked to death on a tic tac while on that shit too there is no warning#like you are good then you are gone and the time always varied#also sustained a head injury while on it too that was actually super bad idk why i thought of the tic tac incident first#the other thing caused me to drop out of college for a few years lmao
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I need your help. I need you to kill me.
#SECOND NIGHT. IN A ROW. REMIND ME NEVER TO SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS MY PARENTS. EVER.#THEY SNORE. SO LOUD. I MIGG#I MIGGT SMOTHER THEM.#i barely slept last night im not sleeping bow. im GOING. TO. HURT. SOMEONE. SOON.#ITS SO FUCKING LOUD GOW DO U PPL LIVE LIKE THIS. HOW DO U NOT WAKE YOURSWLVES UP. YELLING IN YOUR SLEEP LIKE THIS.#SHUT UP SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHIT UP. SHUT. UP.#the only ending to my pain is the sweet release of death. im on my knees begging to perish. end my suffering#what have i done to deserve this torture TWO NIGHTS. IN. A. ROW.
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Comics Read in 2024:
Tearmoon Empire Vol. 1 by Mizu Morino, Nozomu Mochitsuki, & Gilse (2020)
Tearmoon Empire Vol. 2 by Mizu Morino, Nozomu Mochitsuki, & Gilse (2020)
Tearmoon Empire Vol. 3 by Mizu Morino, Nozomu Mochitsuki, & Gilse (2021)
Tearmoon Empire Vol. 4 by Mizu Morino, Nozomu Mochitsuki, & Gilse (2021)
Tearmoon Empire Vol. 5 by Mizu Morino, Nozomu Mochitsuki, & Gilse (2022)
Tearmoon Empire Vol. 6 by Mizu Morino, Nozomu Mochitsuki, & Gilse (2023)
Tearmoon Empire Vol. 7 by Mizu Morino, Nozomu Mochitsuki, & Gilse (2023)
Tearmoon Empire Vol. 8 by Mizu Morino, Nozomu Mochitsuki, & Gilse (2024)
Gunslinger Girl Vol. 2 by Yu Aida & Kiyohiko Azuma (2005)
[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]
#2024media#gigi.txt#tearmoon empire is basically like fucking. marie antoinette-inspired anime princess gets the guillotine and wakes up at 12 years old#and resolves to do every single fucking thing she can in order 2 survive. she has a diary that records her future + changes as SHE makes#changes so she can like gauge how well shes doing avoiding death. its very silly bc she's like 'im doing this to survive' but she comes off#like a fucking. saint. so everyone thinks shes SO smart and so kind and etc. but its rlly picking up bc she successfully stopped her death#so the diary disappeared but now the same stuff seems 2 be happening in her LI's kingdom and plot shit kicking into gear#if u like that isekai genre i highly rec it but if u don't like that isekai genre its not for u#finally gunslinger girl volume 2 aka one of the best deeply fucked up anime mwah
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Happy STS Elli!
Do you enjoy thinking about "What if?" scenarios? Turning points, where the story could have gone differently (but didn't) and what would have happened, if it had? If yes, do you also enjoy writing them, or do you prefer daydreaming about them? Are there any specific points in your stories, where you think about alternate outcomes a lot?
And what about other people's stories? Do you enjoy reading about AUs that look at alternate turns of events?
Happy STS!
That uh. Depends.
Since I am often discovery writing, I spend a lot of time rotating the "what ifs" in my mind before bed. That's small-medium scale. What if I break this bone, what if I stick a knife here, what if I put some scene there.
The point of writing it down though is that it stops the rotating. Sometimes in my falling asleep daydreams I still entertain worse outcomes - character death, failed rescue, a moment too late, worse injuries etc. Things I enjoy hurting myself with, but wouldn't want to write.
I have so much to do, I don't like to "waste time" with stuff that is not in line with the final project. The only reason I wrote the two AU pieces was because it was something I could never write otherwise, as I don't do major character death, and because it was an ask answer.
I do not enjoy reading AUs much. Either the AU is worse, then I don't care, or it's better, then I am sad that it isn't canon, or it's completely different, then my brain can't keep up seeing a different version of a character.
(For example, I am SO SAD @starlit-hopes-and-dreams Hidden Depths AU is not canon 😭😂)
#salad-ask#aria-benedetto#sts ask#fun fact: damien's second nightmare accidentally put an end to all the 'what if merry found him at a worse moment' thoughts#I had a short burst of 'what if Riordan came back and saw him like that in the dungeon' but it was worse in every way#for a while I entertained a 'what if Damien's childhood wasn't shit' where he just meets Merry when she arrives in Caldeia#and helps her get away from her ex but ehh#ALSO boring#another fun fact#since from a whump-only pov I enjoy the heartbreak of death scenes I just put them all into nightmares instead of 'what if'#'what if I broke all his bones' OK LETS DO IT AND THEN HE WAKES UP#I can have the cake and eat it too#XD
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I'm so sick of this besties
#work was godawful absolute shit again#my stupid fuckass manager even came up to me at the end of it and said 'sorry i heard it was a shitshow' and i almost blew up#my furnace?? still broken!! i sincerely hope i freeze to death. if i do someone pls sue my landlord and do whatever with the money#roads were hella icy and so was my driveway but unfortunately i didnt crash :(#truly think that would have been the better alternative. still thinking about it#i feel like I've hella withdrawn socially this last week but its not like anyone notices whether I'm here or not. lol. lmao even#would anyone miss me? i think my cats would. but like. people? I'm already dead or missing to them yanno#anyways all of this to say peace and love on planet earth i hope i dont wake up later and if ur reading this: no ur not#ignore it like how my existence is typically ignored ok <3#depression
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I'm just so scared man
#tw death#i guess#i feel like im dying#theres so much wrong w my body lately#im so scared i wont wake up one day#please let this b a sign for anyone struggling w ED's how dangerous this shit is#ion wanna see amyone romanticize this shit#idk what to do#am i giving up or not i dont know#i camt give up#i have a future dont I#with my partner and stuff#but what if i wont make it out of this one#tw ed#tw ed descussion
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