#poking my brain with a stick like the stupid meat blob it is let me solve your stupid puzzle you dumb jackass
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Not sleeping enough and having a low grade headache is just who I am as a person apparently.
#no reason for this nothing to blame my sleep hygiene is the best it has ever been. i am just fucked for life arent i? cool great#how do i figure out how to embrace this like the permanent ringing in my ears so i can function and not be aware of my own misery#poking my brain with a stick like the stupid meat blob it is let me solve your stupid puzzle you dumb jackass#-pers#-vent#i really blamed external factors this whole time only to get my ass handed to me when those were gone and be forced to contend with the#fact nah. you just have permanent insomnia issues. yeah not nearly as bad as before but cmon 😭#the options to treat this are more or less the same and still suck ass#ambien makes me do crazy things in my sleep and call and text ppl horrible things i dont remember. trazedone somehow doesnt do shit#and gives me nightmares for the short bursts i do get.#benzos were what i ended up on for the last few years of being on mediciation and you can only get 15 a month and tbh the sleep i got#on those did not feel restful it felt more like going under anesthesia then waking up like i was out but my body doesnt feel like it#plus i almost choked to death on a tic tac while on that shit too there is no warning#like you are good then you are gone and the time always varied#also sustained a head injury while on it too that was actually super bad idk why i thought of the tic tac incident first#the other thing caused me to drop out of college for a few years lmao
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