#and do i risk my body doing that again after i've already gotten a night of 3 hours?

[mascflowers]

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[nomoreusername]

Scars

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary:Even though you do everything to hide what WCKD used to do to you, Aris finds out and comforts you.

In my entire life I've never let anyone see even an inch of my legs, arms, or back. There's a good reason for that too. I was quite a rebel when I was younger, and WCKD didn't like that. So they punished me. When they found that the monsters they made didn't work they turned to something darker.

Physical violence became their new thing on me. Now I have deep scars running down my entire body. They've faded, but they're still visible from a good distance away. So I'm always covered head to toe. Even in the hottest weather I'm in pants and if I can a long sleeve shirt. It's not pleasant, but I've gotten used to it

Sighing at the blistering heat but hating the alternative I threw off my short sleeved night shirt to find something that would cover up as much as possible. In nothing but a bra and shorts I dug through my trunk to find something. I grunted in frustration at the way that they all seemed ripped, tattered, or dirty. In fact, I was so focused on my irritation that I didn't hear someone walk in. At least not until it was too late.

"Y/N?"I heard Aris ask. I went completely still before throwing on the random article of clothing in my hand. It was an old brown shirt, covered in grass stains, but it was better than anything else. It was better than knowing he had already seen them.

"What happened?"He asked quietly.

"Just get out Aris,"I sighed.

"Yeah, but-"

"Didn't you hear me? Get the hell out of my room,"I snapped. I didn't even need to turn around to know he was dumbfounded. In the entire time we've known each other, much less been together, we've never sounded that angry with one another. It wasn't him I was mad at though, but right now I couldn't think clearly through my embarrassment. So much so that angry tears were threatening to leave my eyes which I tried to subtly wipe away.

"Are you okay?"He asked, once again almost silently.

"I'm fine,"I said, calmly. It was a lie though. I was anything but fine.

"Okay. If you want to talk-"

"Just get out. Please,"I pleaded. After a minute I heard him leave, and I stood up to find something that would cover these. I can't risk someone else seeing them. I can't risk another person thinking of me differently.

♡ - - - ♡

I didn't speak much through the day as I focused strictly on my work. Sonya asked about it, but I brushed it off as being tired. She seemed to believe me, and we went on with our day.

Now I was sitting on my little cot and staring at the ceiling. Different thoughts swirled throughout my head. If I knew Aris, which I definitely did, he'd be asking about them soon enough.

After another minute of silence I heard someone knock on the makeshift door. I already knew who it was.

"You can come in Aris,"I said, admittedly sounding like a kicked puppy. He did so and took a seat at the edge of my cot.

"Do you need anything?"I asked, already knowing what he wanted to ask me.

"Not exactly. I was just thinking, and I think a few things made sense."

"Like what?"

"Like how you always wear long shirts or why you always say you're cold. Or the way you get so jumpy anytime someone tugs on them to get your attention. Or why you were so persistent on just being alone when you sleep."

"Yeah. You're right on all of those,"I admitted.

"So what about the pants?"

"I have more on my legs."

"How? Did someone hurt you?"

I knew this was another expected question, but it still felt like a punch to the gut. I've never actually said anything out loud about them.

"I was a mischievous kid back in WCKD. They didn't like that so they said they would 'put me in line'. When the psychological torture wasn't working they found out what did."

"What exactly was it?"He questioned, almost sounding like he was dreading my answer.

"The Crank cage. They threw me in and made me fend for myself. Cranks didn't take kindly to me. They bit, scratched, stabbed, and did everything they could. I almost died a few times, but they always pulled me out before I could."

"But why do you go so far to hide them? You could have made yourself pass out from the heat."

"I don't know. I don't like looking at them, and if someone stares I'll know why. I just think they're ugly so I try to forget about them."

Through the entire conversation I hadn't turned to look at him. I hadn't realized he was right next to me.

"Seriously? You're willing to let yourself get heatstroke because of them?"

"You saw them Aris. You can admit that they're ugly. I wouldn't blame you,"I shrugged.

"No."

"No?"I asked, turning to face him.

"No. I'm not going to say that because I don't think so."

I couldn't help but shake my head at this. At my action he looked like someone had just slapped him across the face.

"You don't have to lie to me Aris. It's just a fact,"I repeated.

"There's a difference between something itself being ugly and the story behind it being ugly. I don't think your scars are ugly."

I rolled my eyes, not believing a word he was saying. Before I knew what was happening he gently grabbed my face so I was looking at him.

"No part of you is ugly Y/N, and if those scars are a part of you then neither are they."

My expression didn't change one bit. He looked into my eyes, seeming completely discouraging now. "Tell me why you hate them so I can prove you're wrong."

I was caught off guard at this. This was not what I expected from this conversation. "Let me change your mind Y/N."

"They're too noticeable. Someone might ask. The last thing anyone here needs is to hear another depressing tale."

"Everyone here has some kind of depressing tale. Yours is just visible."

"I don't need to hear anybody whispering about them."

"If they do then they don't need to be in your life. That means they don't deserve the time of day, much less getting to know you."

"I don't want anyone to pity me."

"Nobody's going to pity you. Maybe they'll have sympathy, but pity is different. Pity is what you give the helpless people who refuse to do anything about it. You're the furthest thing from helpless."

"Then, let me remind you of my first point. They're ugly."

He didn't have a counter argument to this, and we both knew why. We knew I was right.

"Can you sit up?"He asked. I raised an eyebrow at this. "Please?"

I didn't ask another question as I did. He took a seat behind me. Before I knew what was happening he lifted my shirt just enough to reveal them. I had several things I wanted to say, but before I could I felt his fingertips gently trace them. I felt goosebumps on my arms as he did.

"What exactly is the point of this?"I asked quietly. "We don't have mirrors so I'm going to tell you about them. The ones I'm tracing are the ones that have faded."

"It feels like you've traced my entire back,"I pointed out. "I know. They're almost all close to being invisible. There's only one that's more noticeable. It's this one,"He said, tracing a small line down the center of my back before stopping only a few inches later.

"Really?"I asked in disbelief. "Really."

"What about the ones on my legs?"I asked. "You can barely see them if you're not looking. You just always seem to be looking."

I glanced down at my legs and tried to pretend I didn't know about the scars. As I did I realized something I hadn't. They seemed to resemble stretch marks. That's just how faded they truly were. Only two of them near my knees could be thought of otherwise.

"Do you see what I mean?"He asked.

"Yeah. I think I do,"I responded with a real smile. "Good. And if you find another reason to hate them that much come find me because I'll prove those wrong to."

"What if I have like a million reasons?"I somewhat joked.

"Then, I'll have to give you a million reasons you're wrong."

Inside my head I told myself that I'd find a way to ruin this. There was something more clear at the front though. Maybe I really should come to him, and maybe he truly could debunk any point. Only time will tell.

As of now I'm going to stay in his arms just a little longer because that's where true safety is. No matter what is out there to drag me down I know I'll always have Aris to pull me back up.

[greatideas-badwriter]

Worth The Risk Chapter 14

Mature Content Warning!

BTW sh*t's about to hit the fan!

'Is there a word stronger than humiliated?' Sakura thought while sitting in the back row of a lecture, 'Mortified. Embarrassed. Ashamed.' She couldn't focus on the professor teaching at the front of the room.

'Terrified. I'm scared, and I'm exhausted. I'm at my goddamn wit's end.'

It was Tuesday, four days after the big incident after Sai's party. Like a knight in shiny black armor, Sasuke found and cared for her in such a way that she almost believed the alcohol had made her hallucinate.

'He's been a sweetheart since then, too," the woman frowned at her blank notebook, twirling her pencil anxiously between two fingers, 'I know it's because he thinks I'm crazy. This is the second time I've sworn someone was following me. They couldn't find anyone both times.'

But Sakura knew better. Maybe the Akatsuki couldn't find the person following her home, but the blonde man from the party had definitely followed her out into the streets.

The phone in her purse vibrated with a notification, and she bent down to pull it out, recalling how her old one shattered against the concrete and broke. Luckily, the store was able to transfer the number to her new device.

'Sasuke bought this for me, too,' she mused, the guilt eating her heart and leaving a raw ache. She doesn't remember getting home that night, but when she woke up, she'd been put into some of his pajamas, and he'd been cuddling her to keep her warm, even in his sleep. The scuffs on her palms and knees were also cleaned and bandaged.

On Saturday, the day after the party, he purchased the new phone as a Christmas gift for her as thanks for the one she'd gotten him.

Green eyes dully read a text from Ino,��'Have you seen the new guy on campus yet? Major hottie alert!'

Sakura didn't bother responding.

She was as low as low could be. Not only was she positive someone was after her, but no one believed it. If she met up with Ino, she'd definitely spill the beans about what happened, and that'd be just another person thinking she's insane.

'Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I imagined it all, and it's just PTSD from everything that happened.' The thought didn't make her feel any better. In fact, it made things worse because there wasn't a doubt that it'd happen again, and she'd be just as distressed.

Shortly after, right before the end of the lecture, she received another message. The woman opened it on auto-pilot, under the impression it was from someone at the party she may have drunkenly given her number out to, all of which being girls she wanted to befriend. Two had reached out already.

'Drunk me is better at socializing than sober me. It's almost funny.'

The woman sat straighter in her chair when photo after photo began popping up in the chat box of the text sender. They were from her ex-boyfriend's number. Chest heaving with panic, she looked around to ensure no one was close enough to see over her shoulder before peeking at it again.

It was Akatsuki members, incriminating snapshots of them, to be exact. Most of them were Sasuke, but there was at least one for each of the gang's core members.

Once the messages stopped, she texted back because it wasn't only her being affected, 'Why are you doing this? Just leave me alone!'

Rather than receiving a text back, more pictures began coming in. This time, they were of her. Photos of Sakura at school, with Sasuke, with Ino or Karin, and even a few of her at the Akatsuki house, which appeared to have been taken from a distance through a window.

Feeling like she was about to be sick, Sakura snatched up her belongings and rushed out of the lecture hall, only to empty her stomach in the nearest ladies' room. 'Oh, God. He's been watching me for weeks!' Rinsing her mouth out in the sink, she angled her body toward the entrance just in case while checking to see if the person had responded. They hadn't.

So, she called Sasuke. 'I have to tell him about this immediately. He'll have to believe me, now!'

The Uchiha didn't answer, which shouldn't have surprised her because he was in class. Not wanting to alarm him too much since it might be a little while before they see one another, she texted him, 'I need to talk to you as soon as your class ends. It's important.'

It was both of their last class of the day, so all she had to do was manage her panic and anxiety for another twenty minutes, and then she'd have no choice but to come clean to the man about her past because it'd finally caught up to her.

A message from him quickly came, 'What's up?'

It'd be foolish to send him anything regarding the situation because there's no telling who he was around or how he'd react to receiving something so incriminating out of nowhere, so the woman replied, 'In person.'

After rinsing her mouth again, Sakura left the restroom and walked toward the staircase to the third floor, where the library was located. Upon reaching the first step, though, her phone began to ring. Looking down at it, she expected it to be Sasuke calling to demand an explanation. Impatience is one of his most significant faults. It wasn't him, though. No, it was her ex.

Trembling, the woman answered but said nothing. The voice on the other end of the line sent shivers down her spine, "I told you I'd find you, didn't I?"

Sakura stumbled before shakily sitting on the steps with wide, watery eyes, "H-How?"

"Saku, this isn't some movie. If I tell you, you'll run again and hide better."

She gritted her teeth, brow furrowing. No words would come out. She couldn't speak.

"Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to be starting school at your college tomorrow, and you'll act like nothing's wrong. You'll go back to being my sweet, devoted girlfriend, or I'll send all those photos to the police."

"No, I'm not-" "You are. We'll finish the school year in Oto and return to Konoha in the summer to get married."

'Married?! I can't marry him! I'll be dead by twenty-five!'

He must've taken her silence for what it was, defiance, because he threatened, "I know the people you're living with are more dangerous than me. Imagine how they'll react when I send them records of this call and our messages. When they find out you're the reason they're all going to prison, you'll be hunted and murdered, Sakura."

'...He's right, damn it. It doesn't matter if I give in because I care about them or because I'm scared they'll kill me. One way or another, I have to surrender.' Tears slid heavily down her cheeks as she closed her eyes, voice small and weak, "I-I understand."

The man sounded like a completely different person, then. His voice was bright and cheerful, "That's my girl! I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

She made a barely audible sound of confirmation, and they both hung up.

When Sasuke's class ended, he wordlessly left. After receiving those texts from Sakura, he couldn't focus on the lesson anymore. 'What could it be this time? Is she gonna tell me she's being fucking followed again?' The man wasn't angry at her, but he was getting irritated at the situation because he didn't know what to do to fix things.

He saw her pastel pink hair in the hallway and weaved through the crowd in time to exit the building at her side, "So, what's up?"

Sakura's entire body jolted, her eyes wide and face pale as she turned to him, "You scared me!"

Sasuke chuckled, grabbing her hand with his free one so she'd walk more closely, "What'd you need to tell me?"

Her thin fingers gently squeezed his hand more tightly, an odd, unfamiliar expression coming across her features before she quickly blocked it, shaking her head, "Oh, right. That. It's nothing," she gave him a big, fake grin, "Sorry. I thought I saw someone, but I'm probably imagining things again."

'She's the worst liar I've ever met.'

Once in the car and on the road toward home, he warned, "Babe. Don't fucking lie to me. What really happened?" 'Something's off. She won't even look at me.'

Sakura shook her head yet again, lowering her gaze to her lap, "I'm serious, Sasuke. I-I've just been on edge lately. That's probably why I'm like this. I'll try to relax, okay?"

The Uchiha man wasn't fooled. Not at all. That said, the increasingly familiar warmth in his chest arose when she didn't correct him for using a pet name.

'Maybe I'll keep doing it. It makes her blush.'

There was only one way he knew for sure would get her to be honest because it worked last time. So, he unpacked his backpack when they got to the house and entered their rooms. When he turned, intending to go to her room, he was surprised to see her standing in his doorway with a red face.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the woman cut him off, "Do you want to, um, have a drink?" When he was too stunned to answer, she averted her gaze awkwardly to the floor, "I-I know it's the middle of the week, but I just thought-" "Alright. Go get it and come back here."

Sakura's mouth shut, her eyes jumping up to meet his again before she nodded and disappeared downstairs.

'If I'm correct, she's trying to find a way to tell me something.'

'What the fuck did I just do? Why did I say that?'

Sakura took the stairs as slowly as possible, an entire bottle of tequila in her possession. She'd grabbed the alcohol with the highest percentage, so it'd get her drunk faster.

Truthfully, the woman knew exactly why she asked the Uchiha man to drink with her.

Tomorrow at school, her personal hell will be reawakened. After that, whatever hot and cold, flirty or not-flirty thing they have is going to be totally and completely over. They'll both be in danger if she doesn't cut him out. With that thought in mind, Sakura had become desperate. She wanted to break things off with him; that's why she wanted to get tipsy. It was too scary to do sober.

Sasuke looked as apprehensive as she expected when she returned to his room and shut the door. He didn't say anything, but they both knew her actions were out of character. The man was simply waiting things out to find out what was happening.

So, the pair passed the clear alcohol back and forth, a random movie playing on the television mounted on the wall. When the pinkette finally considered herself suitably intoxicated, the sun had set, and the film was in its final half.

She glanced over to admire Sasuke's profile. They were sitting side by side under the covers as they had the day she was sick that they hung out.

'God, he's so handsome when focused on something.'

The way his jaw unconsciously flexed and his eyes would narrow or widen was enamoring. Personally, Sakura felt she could stare at him for hours and not get bored, not that she'd ever tell him that. 'His ego's already massive. If it gets any bigger, it'll swallow him whole.'

"If you keep staring, I don't know what I'll do," Sasuke suddenly said, not changing his expression or looking her way.

Blush heated Sakura's face, thought it'd already been warm from the booze, "Sorry…."

He smirked, finally turning to meet her gaze, "I should be the one apologizing." In a blink, the woman's hair was splayed messily over the pillows, and his body was between her legs as he kissed her. After a moment, he pulled back enough to add, "But I won't."

'What…? Why am I letting this happen? I'm supposed to be breaking things off with him! … But this feels so….'

Skilled hands removed her clothes, one article at a time, and she helped the man with his, too. It was hot under the covers with the stunning man. Both were covered with a thin sheen of sweat as they deeply kissed, hands exploring one another's bodies with an eagerness as though there was a time limit.

Sakura's breath hitched when the hand holding her hip slid between her legs, long fingers searching and quickly finding that sweet spot. Her eyes crept open, brow furrowing in response to his expert teasing.

Sasuke pulled his lips from hers, dark eyes burning with unguarded desire, "If you're gonna stop me, do it now because I won't later."

'What an asshole thing to say. He knows that I understand how his mind works by now, I guess, so there's no need to pretend to be a nice guy.'

The man lifted a sleek brow, eyes looking down between them as he stopped massaging her and grabbed the base of his cock, lining himself up. She didn't stop him.

'I know it's wrong to give him hope like this, but, for once in my life, I want to be selfish. I want to have a positive sexual experience, and I want it to be with him.'

She bent her legs further, spreading them apart enough that Sasuke understood the situation. He was bigger than her ex. That was something she figured out last week when they hooked up. It still came as a surprise when a slight pain, similar to that of losing one's virginity but not quite as intense, met her core as he steadily thrusted in. Her brow furrowed, and he noticed, but neither said anything.

Once fully inside, he paused before straightening his spine enough that his weight shifted to his knees and freed his hands. Gripping her thighs, Sasuke began moving slowly to gauge her reaction and then adjusting in speed, angle, and strength as he figured out her likes and dislikes.

Sakura couldn't meet his eye because she was so embarrassed at being seen and touched like this. Her face burnt with a wildfire blush, and she kept her head turned, eyes half-lidded as they glazed over.

This was the first time in her life she genuinely enjoyed the sex.

It felt good.

It felt excellent.

So much, in fact, that she found herself unable to bite back soft moans and gasps. All she could do was try to keep them as quiet as possible. If she made the wrong move or sound, the man atop her would likely call her out on it, and she might not survive that level of humiliation.

They'd only been at it for a minute before Sasuke ran a hand up her middle to grab her jaw and force her to meet his gaze. His voice was low and gentle, though his grip was not, "Were you a virgin? Don't lie."

Sakura shook her head, eyes dancing from his face to his body, to where his sex was meeting hers, and back up. She didn't have to ask because he said, "Babe, you're so fuckin' tight."

The Uchiha man's hold on her jaw became less harsh as he bent further to give her a chaste kiss, pulling back to whisper, "And you look uncomfortable. If you aren't feeling good, say something."

"N-No, it feels amazing!" She drunkenly reassured him, hands leaving the sheets to touch his chest.

His dark eyes narrowed, obviously suspecting her of lying again. Sakura squeezed her eyes closed, admitting, "It's just…I've never really enjoyed this type of thing, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act. I thought if I just kept still, you at least wouldn't laugh at me."

'Did I hear that correctly? She's never…?' "You said you slept with one other person," Sasuke said, the question insinuated.

The tight, hot sensation around his dick was unbelievable, but he had to focus on Sakura's words because having her be anything but a hot, bothered mess beneath him was unacceptable. He wanted to see her body tremble and shake with pleasure, to hear the irresistible, sensual sounds she could make. He refused to leave this tryst without it.

"I have. It's just…Well, um, I didn't…." She trailed off, obviously struggling to maintain eye contact because she was so embarrassed.

"He didn't get you off," he bluntly said. Her bewildered expression, followed by a mortified groan, was all the answer he needed.

Something came over Sasuke, then. It was like his obsession with her manifested into dominance because his mouth moved with words before he could stop it, "I'll make you cum so hard, you'll never be able to forget me."

Sakura's eyes widened in surprise, her mouth opening slightly because she obviously had no idea how to react to such a bold statement. The man continued, though, his movements more decisive, "And do whatever the fuck you feel like doing. I don't give a damn."

The woman tightened around his sex, making his jaw flex and a jolt of excited pleasure roll up his abdomen.

"But what if I-" "Babe, you could bite me til I bleed, and I'd think it's sexy. Stop thinking and let me fuck you."

Finally, she relented with a slight nod, "Okay…."

Sasuke needed no other confirmation. He smirked, releasing her jaw and rising to his knees with his back straight up, moving inside her with every ounce of his lust fueling him. It was gradual, but the hold on both of their controls began to slip.

Over the next few minutes, the pink-haired woman went from gritting her teeth and feeling self-conscious about every little thing to grasping the sheets with her back arched, toes curled, and mouth open as she panted and moaned. It was all music to Sasuke's ears and gorgeous satisfaction to his eyes.

'Fuck, what is this? It's never felt like this. I don't want to cum. I want to watch her for hours.'

The woman beneath him was enticing. The glisten of sweat on her pale, scarred skin was impossible to ignore. He had to touch every inch. Large hands felt her humble curves, her perky breasts, her legs. And inside her was just as incredible. It was electric, the sensation the man felt with each movement. It almost seemed inhuman.

"S-Sasuke, that-!" The man focused on Sakura's face. A delicious, submissive, and desperate emotion flooded her pretty features.

He repeated what he'd done to pull such a face from her, a quiet moan rumbling through his chest when the muscles surrounding his cock flexed in response, the woman moaning helplessly. Dark eyes studied the picture before him in hopes of memorizing it.

'That's what I wanted to see. She's barely holding on.'

Sasuke eagerly gave in to his selfish desire to steal Sakura's sanity.

He put his weight on one hand on the bed near her head, the other flat against her back to hold her up as his knees moved under her, lifting the bottom half of her body off the bed as he pounded into her recklessly.

The tight muscles of her abdomen flexed attractively as her head fell back. The woman's eyes filled with tears as she fumbled to grab onto him, one hand around his wrist near her head and the other grasping his shoulder so tightly that her nails dug into the skin. Then she fell over the edge. Sasuke felt it, a breathy, quiet sound of relief slipping past his lips as Sakura's insides quaked around him, a beautiful moan meeting his ears.

Sasuke's hand on her back held her chest to his once her orgasm ended, and he effortlessly switched their position so she straddled his hips. He continued to move in and out, dark eyes wild and locked onto hers in a way that made it impossible to look away.

Drunkenly, Sakura breathed out, her spine straightening as she allowed her body to react naturally to his movements, "Is it like that every time?"

Usually, he'd chuckle at such a question, but he didn't. He moved his hands to her hips and guided her movements so she could learn what he liked, "We're not done."

The woman adapted eagerly because it felt nice. She was lost in the excited, sweaty, sensual mood. Any other time, she'd be too timid to press her hands to such a sexy man's chest and stare into his eyes like this.

If Sasuke said something like that to her in a regular situation, it'd be terrifying, but it only made the heat between her legs rise in temperature. It also strangely made her want to try harder to please him as if to match his serious energy.

With that thought in mind, Sakura released the last of her inhibitions and came forward, her hands on his shoulders. Moving her knees further apart so they weren't touching his sides anymore, she adjusted how her hips moved. Long fingers gripped her hips and ass, a barely-audible sound leaving Sasuke's mouth as his brow furrowed.

Sweating and breathless, the woman didn't give in. No, she swiftly reached up to pull her long hair over one shoulder so it wouldn't fall into her face before doubling down and settling in to continue the act as long as needed for the man beneath her to succumb to her as she had for him.

'I've never actually wanted to do this. It's always been torture to be on top, so why does it feel so good?'

Of course, it was because of her overwhelming attraction to Sasuke, but also because she didn't have to worry that her partner would hurt her for making even the most minor mistake. Sakura felt free, though it was a little odd that it happened while riding the sexy Uchiha man like a bull.

"Damn…!" A deep, forced voice met her ears, and she focused on Sasuke's face, the desire in her lower regions flaring at his tortured expression. He was at his limit. She could feel his sex flex and twitch within her despite how quickly they were moving.

Something came over her that she'd never be able to explain. Sakura slid one hand up his jaw, so her thumb was near his temple and her fingers were on his neck, "Do it inside." The husky, confident voice that left her mouth was unexpected to both parties.

Suddenly, the woman was pulled down to Sasuke's chest, strong arms wrapping around her body to hold her tightly there as his hips thrusted up roughly, making her gasp until he froze, entirely inside her and pressing as hard as possible. The man's cock pulsated as a heated sensation met Sakura's lower abdomen.

After a moment, the air was filled with the sounds of their heavy breathing, and the duo remained still in that position. Still drunk, Sakura asked, her lips brushing the sweaty skin of his shoulder, "Should I get off of you?"

She found herself face down with handfuls of pillow as Sasuke kissed her back, shoulders, and neck. He was becoming hard again, the organ rubbing against her backside as the Uchiha held one of her hips. The woman couldn't speak. She thought they were done and were going to go to sleep, but she was oh so wrong.

Soon, the Uchiha man slid into her again, pressing her legs together with his knees before grinding deep into her with a hand atop each of hers on the bed. His hot breath tickled her damp skin as he said, "Does it feel good?"

Sakura hummed warmly, the feeling of his sweaty body hitting hers as addicting as nicotine.

"Tell me out loud," Sasuke's fingers curled around hers, voice more demanding.

The order sent an odd sensation of thrill between her legs, "I like it!"

Lips pressed into the back of her shoulder again, the man's voice prideful, "Just wait until I'm done. You'll be ruined. No one else will be able to make you feel like this."

Sakura couldn't respond because she was too busy holding onto her sanity for dear life as he picked up his efforts, though she did think, 'I'm pretty sure that's already the case.'

[bookofbrokencandles]

Second batch of prompts

These are the only 2 asks I've gotten since the last batch. I go back to work on Tuesday, so this is your last chance to get a timely answer.

Explicit warning, under the cut.

Something tumbles off the desk and falls to the floor, but you've no mind to pay to it; it didn't sound fragile anyhow, so it's probably fine.

Amazingly, though, Dominya seems to be on the same page. Even at the risk of one of her beloved prototypes, she let you lift her up onto her desk and her lips haven't left yours even at the sound of that very risk coming to fruition.

Freed of her bra already, one of her breasts fills your palm, the warmth of her body and softness of her sun-kissed brown skin awakening something inside you. You crook a finger, scratching a hardened nipple with your nail, and feel her jolt against you.

Your other hand delves lower to her slim thighs, past the hem of her helpfully hiked-up dress. You halt in your tracks as your fingers come away wet from her soaked underwear.

Stamping down your amusement as best you can, you break the kiss and whisper, "I can't believe how wet you are already. Really, are you so infatuated with me?"

Those baby blue eyes narrow a bit at your teasing, her hand delicately grabbing your chin to make you look at her. "It's not infatuation and you know it. My body goes mad when you're close to me."

You chuckle and claim her lips again in response. After all, you could say the same for yourself.

137:

“You’re so beautiful all spread out like this... Just for me.”

There's something glimmering in his grey eye that make the ropes feel tighter than before, rubbing against your vulnerable skin. A feeling of need ignites between your legs under the weight of his gaze.

You're too exposed. He's seeing too much. His hand touching your thigh is enough to make you tremble.

"Settle yourself, babe," he says with that sultry tone that does nothing to calm the heat building in your core. "If you're getting too excited now, you're going to have a real tough time the rest of the night."

He smiles a smile that flashes his teeth and promises to devour you before the sun rises.

49:

His kisses along your thighs sear a burning trail of desire upon your flesh and when his mouth is finally upon you, it's all you can do to not cum right away. But he keeps his pace slow, teasing your body and letting you settle back into the kind of sweet pleasure he knows how to fill you with.

Your hand was carding through his soft, maroon locks, but when your fingers move to his eyepatch—as you can feel the slightly-chilled chain of it on your leg—he suddenly jerks back with a quiet, but quick, "Don't."

He blinks at you. You blink back. Then he looks down sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Baiyan..."

His expression tightens with sadness, but the expression is quickly covered up with the usual gentleness he shows you. "Sorry. Could you... let me be a little selfish and ask that you don't do anything this time? Just... let me do what I want?"

You know what that means: he doesn't want any focus on him tonight. You reach for him, careful to show you're not going for the eyepatch this time, and instead soothingly rub his pierced earlobe, drawing a shiver from him. "But..."

Bat smiles, relaxing from your ministration. He presses another kiss to your thigh and, lips still against your skin, his hot breath raises goosebumps on your skin as he looks up at you through his long lashes. You feel him smirk as he speaks.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you. So, just be good for me."

[queendopamine]

Opening up about mental health, the healthcare system, and my diagnoses

I'm no stranger to therapy. Though I've never lasted longer than 6 months, I've tried different therapists over the years. I know I need to dig in and do some deep, hands-on work. I've gotten by with some of the tools they've given me, as well as my own efforts at attempting self-help.

In May, I went back to therapy and also saw a psychiatrist for the first time ever. I did a psych eval with her last week.

I received a diagnosis of anxiety, PTSD, and Bipolar. These are also things the therapist had evaluated me for and talked to me about. I scored high on her tests for them. I've always been good at tests...The damn test was how I got my bipolar diagnosis in 2010. Some NP at a walk-in clinic gave me a couple assessments and heard my story about how I reacted on Prozac. Said that depression was only telling half the story and gave me some meds. I had to go off them after a couple months because I got pregnant, but that was as far as I ever went in my Bipolar journey.

Since 2010, I had distanced myself from the Bipolar dx and label. Not only did I not like the stigma, but I just didn't relate to it as much as other things. Borderline seemed to address a lot of similar symptoms. At one point, I even thought I had DID. In 2020, like many chronically-online Millennials in the pandemic, thought I might have ADHD. For much longer, I've considered that I have OCD.

But for now, my doctor is choosing to treat the Bipolar and said she didn't "get ADHD vibes from me" and for now, she wouldn't agree that I have ADHD (I got through school, I finish my work on time, I paid attention to her questions --those were her reasons). She said I might have OCD tendencies based on what I described but she didn't fully label me as OCD or change my treatment at all.

She did say that over time, things could change--as in additional dxes might be given or they might be changed. And of course, we might try different treatments. It's all trial and error.

To start, I'm going on a mood stabilizer (Vraylar) and an anti-anxiety medicine (hydroxizine). I hope I can find the right combination of meds and that the side effects will be minimal and manageable. I havent been on a mood stabilizer in a long time. I don't really remember much about it. I've tried many different anti-depressants and Xanax. The anti-depressants always seemed to make me worse and Xanax just makes me sleepy as fuck.

My doctor gave me an overview of the Vraylar and Hydroxizine. She told me the symptoms and what to look out for. But then reading the pamphlets about them gave me a whole different perspective. Drowsiness was the big one that stuck out to me for both--not only did she not warn me about this, but she even told me hydroxizine wouldn't cause me to be sleepy and I could take up to 400mg a day and I'd be fine. It would help me sleep, but it wouldn't put me to sleep, like Xanax would, in her words.

Like many anti-depressants or mood stabilizers, Vraylar warns of potential weight gain. But it also can cause high blood sugar and high cholesterol. I already have elevated cholesterol so that's unfortunate. I didn't tell my psychiatrist this and now I am wondering if she'll switch meds when I do tell her. I'm not sure why I didn't mention it. All those potential side effects worry me though. I already struggle with my weight and because of my PCOS, I am pretty much already at risk for diabetes--though no tests have come back to indicate that I'm even pre-diabetic, so that's good. The cholesterol is something to worry about though and I will bring that up when I see her again.

Drowsiness is the worst symptom though and I'll tell you why. It's because I switched back to Zyrtec for my allergies and even though I take it at night, it's just a lot. it makes it hard to get up the in the morning. I can handle it okay during the day when I halve the pill, but I still end up dragging around, fatigued. I hope my body adjusts. I don't want to be tired all day. I have horrible allergies and have been receiving allergy shots for them, which contributes to fatigue on shot days. I can't live my life like a zombie all the time.

Just feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and annoyed. I know it's going to take time to adjust to both new medications and even to the Zyrtec. And if Vraylar and Hydroxizine don't work, it will be onto something else. I'm just eager to get it right and feel fulfilled and content. I want to be able to workout if I want to. I want to relax if I want to. I just don't want to be ruled by fear or lack of energy or zero motivation. I want to be in control of my body. Drowsiness is opposite of this.

Onto the PTSD...that shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. I wasn't expecting that. I don't know if the meds will help with my PTSD symptoms. But I know that my stepmom and her sister both receive ketamine treatment periodically. Both of them have bad depression and it helps them tremendously. According to the website, it helps with PTSD and bipolar symptoms as well. So I've considered that as an option, but I want to try meds first.

That brings me to the other issue--cost. I'm lucky that I can pull together the funds when needed and tighten up spending enough to afford these expensive-ass therapy/psych appointments. I also have a boyfriend I live with who makes almost 2x what I do and can pick up the slack or give me money if I really need it. Most people are not in that situation. There are people in my own family who cannot afford certain things. Mental health is a luxury to them.

Something so important and life-changing is a luxury that they can't afford. It's tragically common. Health insurance in the US is a joke. I can't even bill them for these sessions. It's not that they don't cover any mental health/behavioral health (though that's part of it sometimes), it's that the places I have visited do not bill health insurance for some reason. Maybe it's harder to work with them. maybe there's something about the way they bill. I truly do not know. But it's expensive as hell and I know if it were easier, they would bill insurance.

So yeah it's hard enough that I have to scrape together the money and really budget out my spending and think of every dollar. But there are people who have to do this with groceries, with feeding their children! People who have to choose which bills to pay. They can't just scrape together some extra money and spend it on mental health. Those people are fucked. and then their kids, who grow up in poverty or who are surrounded by this constant survival mentality, will grow up traumatized and in need of therapy they can't afford either. The cycle continues.

Does the government care? No. This system isn't built well and it's failing the people who need it the most.

I could talk more about the PTSD and Bipolar. what they mean to me and the symptoms I'm having. But I'm tired (go figure) and this is all I can manage.

[dxmoness]

𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐀 - 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

character(s): Eros Vasilios (again)

manhwa(s): Your Throne

when tf did I reach over 100 followers- I don't check it often and I- thank you for 146 followers, love you all <333

was gonna make a mutuals post, but idk what to do so I'll come up with one eventually.

Before she could reply to the male's taunting response, she blacked out finding herself in a never-ending void of darkness. Until a ray of sunlight shown on her that is.

Raising her hand to shield herself from the bright beam of light, she eased herself up. The room looked unscathed for a room that had been trashed by that male last night.

A shaky breath escaped her as her fingers touched the place where his hand had been the night before. Her lips were still okay it seemed no scar emerged nor a bruise on her body from which she had last been slammed to the wall. The only thing was what happened after she blacked out.. The answer was not found on her body therefore she stood up looking around to find a simple note.

'If you are reading this, I've left. I've cleaned your room if that gives you comfort for me trespassing. I would've cared less, but I needed no trace of me left therefore cleaning the room was most necessary. No I didn't do anything to you or anyone else. Rest assured pretend as if our meeting was a dream. There is no need for stupid questions asked to the emperor.' There was no signature found on the paper just a feeling that it was the same male.

This son of a b*tch just left her with a dumb note that barely answered any question. All he did was point out the obvious. Opening the door as quietly as possible she padded her way to the garden. Perhaps there would be a place to bring her mind at ease. On her way there she heard a muffled voices from the door.

"Did you hear? Someone decided to break in last night!" She peeked through the slightly closed door to see three maids huddled together talking in hushed tones. "How frightening! I'm surprised he didn't do anything!"

The other maid nodded in agreement while the other seemed unaware of the current conversation. "Amanda?" The said girl blinked back to reality as she mumbled a halfhearted apology, barely even caring if the girls looked at her with perplexed expressions.

"I seem to have gotten carried away, I'm fine really-!" The girl babbled on about how much she was behind sleep.

That maid was a suspect for her. She'll have to talk with her later on. Taking a note of her noticeable features, she left with a note to herself that there was a needed talk with the girl and herself.

Finally reaching the gardens, she sat on one of the benches to make herself comfortable. Suddenly a hand ruffled up her already messed up hair. "Eh-?" Looking up her eyes met with the familiar sight of the prince who was smiling with such delight to see her. Ah of course he'd come to find her why wouldn't he..

"Good morning, Your Highness." She quickly got up to bow to the prince who was seemingly enjoying the view of her, to much of her annoyance it seemed he wished to dine with her for breakfast.

"I wish to eat with you if that's alright." Eros said, there was a need to ask first and not order around like how he would to every other noble who walked in this castle for this was not any other person, but the girl he wished to take as his.

"I'm sorry Your Highness but I've already eaten my fill." She had to come up with such a lie to get herself out of this situation. Dining with the prince was exciting and all, but she still had a lot of things on her mind. It was also a good thing to keep in mind of the risk that lay in lying to a royal. She shudder as she remembered what had happened to her lord husband, no, that couldn't possibly happen to her. They had no evidence of her lies plus it was a necessity if she was fighting to survive.

Eros' face held disappointment as he wavered on. "Very well. Shall tea this afternoon be suffice?" He asked. He needed to have some time with her at the very least. All this castle gossip about a visitor in the night could get in her head and that would do more harm than good.

She flinched at this notion. "I suppose so." She responded with slight ease. The air was extremely intoxicated with tension. That tension was not one she would welcome with ease.

Eros simply nodded before heading back inside. "Make sure to come back in soon. Too much sun could dehydrate you, my lady." He called back before leaving in a rush.

Name exhaled deeply as the sounds of nature continued around her. The breezy wind blew the leaves slowly, causing them to rustle softly. Birds sang their songs with joy as they gathered near the fountain to drink.

She watched with fascination as the little animals continued on with their day. Good for them. They didn't have to deal with a prisoner husband, a overly welcoming prince, and a total airhead of a stranger who didn't bother telling her who he was.

"My lady?" A frantic shriek from a maid woke her from her trance.

"What is it?" She asked, trying her hardest to keep in focus. The maid's face betrayed her thoughts easy. Something horrid had happened. She felt it.

"It's your husband!" Her vision slowly disoriented as she toppled over with panic and fright. Something had happened to her beloved? What could pos... No.

"Show me." She ordered trying her best to keep calm and not go frantic over everything though this failed. By the time they got there, a swarm of guards hurried around to make haste. "What happened here?" Her voice wavered, mind wishing over and over that it wasn't what she thought it was.

Then it came. The words she had dreaded. "Your lord husband has been brutally murdered, my lady." The impact knocked her out completely as she collapsed on the floor, her maid shrieking at the sight of her lady but she did not care.

Her husband was dead..

Her eyes filled as her vision blurred, sobs coming out of her. She was breaking down in a public sight of servants but she could barely care. The only man who could ever love her died and it wasn't even a good and peaceful death like he wished. Brutally murdered.. Her heart hurt as she reeled. Who would be sick enough to brutally murder one of the empire's most respected?

She couldn't keep herself from crying as she continued breaking down. A sudden movement came forth around her. She could not see through her blurry vision. Rubbing the tears away, vision finally fixing back she saw the crowned prince. His face was solemn as he pulled her up. "It's a saddening truth, my lady." He whispered, wrapping his arms around the girl. "I will make sure to do everything so that your husband may have the best funeral possible." He leaned and kissed her forehead. "For know please retire to your room and try to cheer up. It hurts to see you cry." Name nodded meekly, completely blinded by his words to notice the male's satisfied look.

Watching her retreat in silence, he went into the dungeons where the crime had happened. This so-called murder had been no ordinary murder. Nor this victim was no ordinary victim. This was a necessary move for his game. The king was down. Now he will move forth to the queen.

"If only you had given her to me at will, old friend." He chuckled. "Maybe you would've kept your valuable life."

[r0-boat]

R0 I woke up in the middle of the night and this horny scenario has me by the throat 😩 I don't think I'll be able to sleep until I type it out so I'm gonna share it with you since I know you would absolutely love this

I'm standing in the garden. I've been doing some work in the backyard, and currently I'm watering the plants with the garden hose while I'm jamming out to some music in my headphones. My back is to the house so I don't notice when Ingo comes home over an hour early from work.

Even though I have my headphones on, he does his best to quietly open the sliding door to the backyard, sneaking out so I won't notice him. I don't know he's there until he wraps his arms around my waist, grabbing the hose and throwing it on the ground before he lifts me up. I scream and elbow him before I see his face, yelling at him for scaring me and asking what's gotten into him. He doesn't say anything as he tears my headphones off and drops them on the ground before dragging me behind the shed, where he knows the nosey neighbors won't be able to see us. That's when I know I'm in trouble.

See, I showed up to Gear Station earlier today to drop off some fresh lunch for him. I'm wearing a short dress today, which isn't normal for me, and I could see the way Ingo eyes the sheer black stockings I'm wearing as I brought his lunch to his desk. I kissed him on the forehead as I put down his lunch before going to the coat rack to hang up my light coat, but I'm looking at him when I "accidentally" miss the hook and drop my jacket on the floor. When I bent over to pick it up, I made sure he got a good view of the fact that I'm wearing the crotchless tights, and when I stood up and smiled at him oh-so-innocently, I could tell that he was already sweating.

I continued acting innocent as I stood across from his desk, asking him how his work day was going and engaging in niceties. He was giving me an intense stare that told me he was very seriously considering bending me over his desk (which was the goal). Just as he was getting ready to stand up from his desk to lock the door, however, Emmet comes in with 3 coffees in hand (also like I had planned), happily passing me the coffee I'd asked him to grab before heading to the office. I chitchatted with him as well, leaned against Ingo's desk, feeling Ingo's gaze burning into my skin as I make small talk with his brother.

After another moment, I announced that I had to get going, surprising both of them as I took off so shortly after arriving. (I left the jacket on the coat hook. I literally only brought it as an excuse to bend over in front of Ingo to get him riled up.)

Unfortunately, those tights, and the garterbelt I had to hold them up, are slung over one of the kitchen chairs in the dining room. (Can't risk getting them dirty while I'm gardening.) I had planned to wear them for when Ingo got home, but because of his unannounced early arrival home, I'm currently wearing nothing beneath my dress as Ingo pins me against the wall of the shed, my back to his chest.

"Ingo?" I half-question, half-moan his name as his hand slides up my dress, feeling for the panties I'm not wearing. He hikes my dress over my waist, revealing my bare body.

He slaps my ass. "You have the audacity, my dearest," he hisses, "to show up to my workplace dressed like that? And now I catch you in the backyard wearing nothing?" My breath hitches as he slaps my ass again, harder this time. I can feel his hard cock pressed against me through his work pants. "Skank. What if the neighbors saw?"

The insult goes right to my cunt as he smacks me again. I moan low at the impact. "Did anyone else see you in those tights?" Smack. My knees are shaking from how horny I am. "Did you show my brother your ass too when you asked him to get those coffees?" He smacks me even harder this time, and I moan openly. He slaps his other hand over my mouth as he grinds against my ass. "Don't think I don't know the game you're playing. Are you trying to misbehave?"

He moves his hand so I can speak. "Yes, yes, please please please, please punish me. I've been so bad." I can't get the words out fast enough, I'm so desperate to be fucked. "Fuck me, Ingo, please." I grind back against him. He growls as I do. I'm already so, so wet, I wonder if he can feel it, my pussy juice rubbing onto his pants.

He smacks me again, and it goes straight to my cunt. My toes curl as I think fuck, I might cum like this. He rubs my tender ass with one hand as his other grips my throat, gently but firmly. He leans forward, forcing me to stick my ass out as he whispers in my ear. "You want me to take you right here? In the open, where anyone can see you?" I nod vigorously, and his grip on my throat tightens. I want to moan his name, but all that comes out of my constricted airpipe is a high-pitched whine. He smacks my ass one last time for good measure, and I swear I almost do cum. "Then you'll take my cock without any complaints. Understood?"

I nod as best I can with his hand still wrapped around my throat. He removes his hand. I take deep breaths as he works on undoing his belt, pulling his pants down just enough to free his cock. We both moan as he rubs the tip against my folds, smearing my juices all over his dick. I'm chanting "please please please--" as he does this, desperate for him to shove it in already.

Something about the angle doesn't satisfy him, though, and he lifts up my right leg to give himself a better angle to enter me. Because he's taller than me, I'm forced to stand on the tips of my toes as he slides his cock in in one, fluid stroke.

He clamps his hand over my mouth before I can scream. He shushes me as he just enjoys the sensation of his cock sitting inside of me--even when he's trying to act rough, it doesn't escape me how he still waits to give me a moment to adjust to just how big his dick is before he destroys me with it. "You have to be quiet," he whispers, breaking character for a moment. He looks pointedly in the direction of the neighbors house.

"I-I know, sorry," I reply, voice shaking.

He nods, before setting a rough pace, pounding hard into my cunt as he leans over me. His chest is flush against my back as he pulls my dress strap off my shoulder, and I help him slide it down my arm, forcing one of my tits to pop out the top of my dress. I can practically hear him grinding his teeth as he fights to stay quiet, unable to stop himself from whispering about how tight, wet, and perfect I am, how good I feel wrapped around his cock. My own breaths come out fast and ragged, whines occasionally escaping my throat as I try to keep my own voice down.

The hand holding my leg up hikes my thigh up just a little bit higher, forcing me to grab the wall in front of me for support. His other hand is playing with my exposed tit, tender and sensitive. He pinches the bud between his thumb and forefinger, gently twisting it just the way I like as his thrusts start to get faster. I lean forward just a bit more as he squeezes my tit just right, and I almost start drooling when the change in angle forces his cock to hit my g-spot dead on. He bites down on my shoulder to muffle his own noises as the head of his cock finally hits my cervix, kissing the spongey entrance to my womb with each thrust as he continues to molest my tit.

"C-close!" I can barely warn him with how much pleasure I'm feeling, and I can tell from the way he sobs into my shoulder that he's close too. His hand moves down to my clit, rubbing at the side of it with his thumb as I finally cum, my toes curling and my hands desperately scratching the wall of the shed as I clench down on his cock. Between that and the long whine that leaves my throat as I cum, it pushes Ingo over the edge as well, and I can feel his hot seed spill inside me as he presses the tip against the entrance of my womb.

He grinds his cock inside me as I can feel it twitch, fucking his cum as deep inside me as he can, before he finally starts to soften.

He hisses as he pulls out of me, and I groan as he finally pops out as well, feeling some of his cum leak out of me onto the grass. He kisses me gently on the back of my neck while I recover, gently setting my foot back on the ground and holding me up by the hips as I regain feeling in my legs before heading back inside with me.

(He later fusses over me and asks if he was too rough while he massages the bruise he left on my thigh. I assure him that he was perfect.)

(In the morning we realize we left the garden hose on and the backyard is flooded. The water bill is going to be astronomical this month.)

ANON YOUR DREAMING ARE AMAZING SJSJJ

Out here living the High Life😌

God I just love pushing ingo's buttons till he eventually snaps

[twary]

aaa hello! congrats on reaching 350, here's to moreee \(^o^)/ ((I really enjoyed reading your sdc works, they just make my day waaaaa 🥺❤️))

for the love confession prompt, may I request number 11 ("I don't know what the future holds. all I know is that I hope you're in it.") for Kakyoin? SFW would be nice, but honestly I'm alright with anything you end up with when working on the prompt! 🥰

I hope you have a great day/night ahead of you!!! 💖💖💖

AAAAAAA THANK UUUUU <3 Knowing that my writing makes you happy is just wonderful 🥺😭✨

Also, thanks for the lovely request, i think it's the first one with our precious cherry boy!🍒💚

And i think that i have just the right scenario for this! Hope ur having a good day/night too darling (❁´◡`❁)

~The prompt list is closed for now, but you still can make general requests!~

TW: sdc alternative ending and spoilers

"I don't know what the future holds. All I know is that I hope you're in it." x Kakyoin

Cut for length~

The journey was finally over, Dio was defeated, but at what cost? Much was lost, especially friends; Avdol and Iggy were dead and Kakyoin was badly injured, it is not possible to know if he will get out of this. Right now he is in a helicopter on his way to one of the SPW hospitals.

The situation was heartbroken, it's clear as water to the crusaders that you like Noriaki. You always had feelings for him and never had the chance to talk to him, it couldn't end like this! You basically begged to be taken to the hospital where he would be staying, but Polnareff stopped you.

"(Y/N), we know how you're feeling right now and that you want to do something to help him, i want too! But...Unfortunately the only thing we can do now is wait and see how things unfold."

You're desperate, but he's right…

A few weeks passed, you, Joseph and Jotaro had already returned to Japan and Polnareff was already in his home country, France. Kakyoin didn't leave your mind even for a second, you wanted to visit him, even if it's to see the worst, you can't stand being in this agonizing situation anymore!

You were doing some dishes when the phone rang:

"HE'S AWAKE?!"

It was from the hospital that Kakyoin was staying at, they gave you the best news you could ever want: Kakyoin was alive and conscious. You didn't even bother to hang up the phone, you just ran out of the house to go to the hospital. Finally, after so much anguish, you could see him, talk to him, hug him!

When you arrived at the hospital you were already out of breath, U don't think you've ever gotten anywhere in such a hurry as today. You also expected to find the crusaders, or at least Jotaro, but there was only you waiting to see him, were they notified before you?

"(L/N) Isn't it? You can come in now, please."

Well, it doesn't matter now, the nurse has finally called your name.

"I'll get some medicine that the patient will need to take, I'll be back in a few moments, feel free to talk to him."

She gets out of the room and let you in. The tears were almost instant when you laid eyes on him.

"Kakyoin!" Your voice is shaky.

You ran towards him and took his hand, as happy as you were to see him, you didn't know what had happened to his body, it was better not to risk hurting him.

"Haha, i've missed you too (Y/N)"

He is smiling, oh god! How much you missed that smile!

"There, there...No need to cry, hm?"

"No need? I couldn't stop thinking about you at any time! oh my god i'm so happy to see you again!"

You take his hand to your face.

"It's so good to know you're okay..."

Little tears are falling down. With his thumb he caresses your face. There is a small moment of silence.

"Oh, right, you've already saw Jotaro and the others right? I bet you were really happy to see them too! Everyone was worried about you, the situation was very agonizing."

"Well, actually you are the first person who came to see me"

"What?! They didn't want to see you?!"

"No, no, no, it's nothing like this! I just wanted to see you first, the others still don't know about me..."

You stop for a moment.

"I wanted to talk to you first..."

He removes the blanket from his lap and lifts his shirt a little, revealing a large scar.

"Look, I ended up suffering very severe injuries from the fight against Dio, my condition is rpomissive, but the doctors don't know if I'll be able to do some things again like I was before, such as standing or walking...I'm trying to be positive, but this got me very worried, actually. So...I don't know what the future holds."

It hits you really hard, your head is down. But then he finishes his sentence.

"All I know is that I hope you're in it."

You look again at him "What...?"

He giggles a little nervous.

"You know, that day after using Hierophant for the last time and feeling my eyes closing, many things went through my head, one of them was you. actually the main one was you."

You are a little confused, he can see it in your expression.

"W-What i'm trying to say is...I never had the chance to tell you how i feel, I didn't want to go before saying that…That I fell in love with you...I never felt the things you made me feel in just 50 days. I even told Hierophant about you, haha!"

"At that time when the doctors were fighting to save me I was fighting to be able to see you again. I'm glad that i did it..." He looks at you with soft eyes. "I'm glad that i meet you, (Y/N)"

He holds your hand and gently pulls you towards him. Your faces are really close, you can feel his warmth"

"I'm really glad..." His voice is low.

Kakyoin's lips finally meet yours. The kiss is slow, soft yet passionate...He is taking his sweet time, it seems like he was waiting for this moment for long. When the kiss end you're both breathless, Kakyoin turns red when see you like this.

"S-Sorry, it lasted longer than I had predicted"

You're still holding hands.

"I don't mind doing it again, ya know?" You approach him again.

"Sorry for the wait, they're organizing the stock, it's a mess- Oh! Am i interrupting something?~"

The nurse was by the door with some medicines in hand, she has a suggestive smile on her face.

You jump out of your place "N-No! there's nothing to be interrupted!"

You're as red as Kakyoin. You two exchange glances for a second and let out little giggles.

Oh, heaven knows how much you missed that smile.

[love-toxin]

cw: injuries, yandere tohma, gn! reader

"so...how long do I have to play along with this little game of yours?"

the question spills out of his mouth without warning, yet each word is methodical, careful, like he's practiced it a thousand times before. the teapot clutched in your hands nearly slips out and shatters over the table you've laid out for the two of you, but the warmth of the porcelain fortunately keeps you steady enough until you can set it down in the space between you two. Tohma was kind enough to bring you a gift after spending awhile away, tending to his duties--so it's only natural that you would take him out for some tea in exchange. it's courtesy. it's expected.

but his question certainly is not.

"I...I have no idea what you're talking about, Tohma."

"really?"

he's sat cross-legged for some time now, waiting as you ordered the tea and offering you some idle chit-chat befitting a pair that haven't seen the other in a while. Tohma has always been your friend even when you were young, but as is custom in a place like Inazuma, your relationship has evolved throughout the years. there are things you can't say anymore, things that would ruin your life if you were caught doing them...and now, you fear, the glint in Tohma's eyes may be an omen that he's about to commit one of those unholy acts.

"come on now, sweetheart, everybody can see the truth for what it is. there's no need to hide it any longer."

he's purposely tiptoeing around the question, waiting for the pieces to click in your mind. he need not say anything at all, however--the way he looks at you in this moment, and the purpose with which he stands from his place at the tea table is enough to set your jaw tight and your eyes to darken.

"you know that I was always meant to be your husband. to be there for you through thick and thin, to care for you when we're both old and gray-"

he takes a few quick steps around it to get to you, to kneel at your side and reach out his hands to pull yours into them, and it's all you can do not to flinch away and risk the image of impropriety. but you've endured this lecture before, and the only thing screaming inside your head is for you to resist--just resist, don't listen to a word he says, and bite your tongue of any insult until he finally gives up and gets the hint.

"Tohma, stop."

"-to treasure you like no one else will. I understand your point of view, I really do--we're still young, and the world outside of Inazuma seems so big and grand...but you have to realize that the time to settle down is coming for us."

he rubs his thumb over your hand and smiles in your direction, but you can't meet his eyes. and then it's slipping out of your grasp and raising up to your face, and you feel yourself stiffen all over as Tohma gently cups your cheek, his gaze lowering towards your mouth as if he has an idea of what he wants to do. but that would be grounds for you to shriek for a guard, and you're entirely certain that that's the only reason he bites his lip to stave off the desire.

"you were always meant to be mine. you believe in fate, and you've always put your trust in me...so why not let me help you?"

that last part comes as a whisper, the tearoom private but the walls still thin. one of the many secrets you've entrusted to Tohma over the years is your disagreement with Inazuma's strict laws, as well as the etiquette that comes with being a member of the higher class. you've always despised being noble, and Tohma has always understood you, at least you thought so....but ever since he's gotten this ludicrous idea in his head, you've known even less peace than usual.

"I've said it a dozen times, Tohma, and I won't say it again. I'm not marrying you."

you do your best to spit the words out with as much venom as you can muster, yet you still feel the twinge of anxiety at snapping at him so informally. it could spell the end for you quite easily, but when your eyes are drawn back to Tohma's expression, all you can see is bliss written all over his face.

"...even laced with contempt, my name sounds so sweet on your lips. you've so much wit, so much grace, and your beauty leaves me breathless...I know how little you think of me, but-"

fury shoots through every vein of your body, and you know it's the wrong move when you slap his hand away from your face, the smack like a thunderclap in the small space of the little tearoom.

"enough, Tohma! enough. do yourself a favour and stop speaking to me--in fact, I dearly hope you never say a word to me again."

each finger on his hand twitches, only to close in a tight fist and sink back down to his lap. you try to avoid his gaze in this moment, but even turning your head away you can still feel his eyes staring right into your soul.

"you know I can't make that promise. you know that I love you."

that word makes you stiffen, your grip lock on your noble dressings, your blood turn to ice in your veins. you've avoided that for so long but it follows you like a demon, and it's eyes glow a verdant green as Tohma's words melt into your skin and eat you alive from the inside out.

"this feeling of yours....it's not mutual, Tohma. just leave it, and leave me."

you say so, but you're the one that stands from the tea table in the end, and Tohma jumps to get to his feet to follow you. he trails on your heels as you step with purpose towards the door and slide it open, the cool chill of Inazuma city in the night prickling your exposed skin. the blond hurries to get in front of you, and the moment you spot a few other citizens on the path this late at night, you tilt your head down and pray to the gods that Tohma won't force you into impropriety.

"...I see. you won't budge on this, then...I will have to accept that. but may I at least escort you home? I can't in good faith allow you to wander alone in the dark. I still care for you."

he looks down on you with a softness to his features, and you hate how easily you buckle under any sort of pressure from him. you prided yourself on not giving in before, but when you're not alone it's not nearly as easy--you have to piece your words so carefully together, and by the time you think of an excuse it will already be too late for you to reject his offer. so with as subtle of a huff as you can manage, you speak softly under your breath that you suppose that's fine, and grit your teeth as you thank him for the offer. and Tohma is all too relieved to stand beside you as you walk down the hill and leave the prying ears of the city, the silence near unbearable between you as you meander through the path cut down the middle of the farmer's fields.

"seems there's no one around. not a surprise for this time of the night."

it's not a terribly long walk back to your family's estate, but Tohma still evidently feels the need to speak up as you reach the end of the gently sloping hill. Konda village lies within sight in the distance, and you feel the tension weigh heavy on your heart as you count the steps closer and closer to safety. relative safety that is.

you're so focused on paying him as little attention as possible that you don't even take notice to his hand drawing closer to yours and his eyes wandering up and down your figure, practically salivating as the flames in his chest burn hotter and hotter, until the moment he can't take any more and he grabs you by the shoulders to stop you and force you to look him straight in the eyes.

"now, you're going to listen very closely. I'm going to give you a little gift, because I love you so very much. you get a minute's head start."

the shock catches you off guard to the point that you bite your own tongue, fear and panic shooting through you like icicles that make you freeze in place. Tohma's expression is so intense he nearly appears feral, pearly teeth glimmering in the light from the moon as he grins down at you like a predator examining their prey.

"here's the deal, sweetheart--if you can run all the way past Konda village, you win. but if I catch you, I win, and you must uphold your promise and marry me in a month's time. and if you win, you'll get your wish--I'll never speak a word to you again."

terror grips you even harder than Tohma is, and at his proposal you whip your head towards the village in the distance and then back to him. if he's seriously not making some kind of sick joke, then there's absolutely no way you would ever make it. you're not a fighter, you don't even know how to hold a sword much less have a vision, and you've seen the kinds of things Tohma is capable of....he'll catch you before you make it anywhere close.

"Tohma-"

his gaze lingers on you for a moment, before he turns you in the direction of the village and pushes you forward, only hard enough for you to stumble a bit. you want to question him, to try and talk him down from such an insane idea, but once you hear him start counting down aloud your feet move on their own and you take off in a pitiful run down towards your target. the night air whips by your face as you try to sprint as best you can, yet your robes that give away your nobility get caught on your sandals and trip you up enough that it makes your heart jump into your throat. your heart pounds in a cage that feels too tight, the air heavy and raw in your lungs the longer you fumble your way forwards in the night. even your tears feel cold as they stream down your face, and if speaking wouldn't expend your precious energy then you would surely be wailing for Tohma to stop, please, he's scaring you. especially once you hear his footsteps take off, and it feels as though his warm breath is right on the back of your neck.

but even so, you look up within moments to find yourself in the middle of the quiet little village, the lanterns dim and only the glow of the moon casting light on the humble little buildings. the panic ceases but resurges just as quickly when you remember that you're not safe yet, that the entrance to the village is still a few hundred metres away--and you can hear Tohma panting now, at a distance close enough that he'll make a grab for you long before you'll ever get there. but there's something you know that he probably doesn't remember, and it might just be your saving grace as you duck into the shadows and skirt around the mayor's house just as he skids into the path of the village. you fear in the pit of your stomach that getting the top off the well that you used to play near as children would make a great deal of noise, but you hurry forward and find it open--and just as you swing a leg over to climb inside and pray that Tohma doesn't think to look for you here, your foot slips on the stone that's still damp from the rain and your world is overturned as you fall through the air. it's not far enough that you can scream or grab for purchase on something, but when you land you hear the sickening crack of something breaking and pain that shoots through your leg so quick that it almost makes you black out.

but something worse is yet to come, and it's Tohma's voice calling out your name, before you look up to the sky and your heart just sinks as you watch his face pop into view over the side of the well.

"oh, archons--baby, are you all right?! did you hurt yourself?"

he hops over the edge quite easily and falls steady on his feat, not even having broken a sweat from chasing you as he hurries to your side and props you up in the crook of his arm. and despite still feeling that twinge of discomfort and panic from him touching you, the agony sets in so deeply that you cling to him without realizing as tears pour down your face and you struggle to breathe.

"let me see...yeah, that's definitely broken. c'mere, I'll help you up.."

just brushing the pads of his fingers over the rapidly-swelling skin of your calf makes you flinch and cry out with pain, and it's obvious by the deep bruising how bad you've hurt it--you wouldn't be able to climb out of here if you tried. but Tohma finds so little trouble in heaving you up into his arms that it's laughable....it would be funny how sincerely you thought you could get away in the first place, if you weren't experiencing the consequences now. and only now is it starting to sink in that you lost, even though he isn't rubbing it in your face. yet.

"poor thing--that was scary, wasn't it? aren't you glad I was here?"

despite how despairing you look, he rubs his cheek against yours as he holds you tight. you realize now how much he's always wanted to do this, and how he's dragging this all out while he has the chance to do it without anyone watching....it's such a rare opportunity, but you don't feel nearly as lucky as he does.

"I'll always be here, sweetie....in sickness and in health, right?"

he murmurs into the shell of your ear, before pressing a kiss to it right afterwards as he reaches out to get a foothold so he can lift you out of here. all you can think about now is how your chance of escaping him has slipped away....and now, your status is a death sentence in the hands of the man who saved your life, and will ask for nothing in return but your gentle hand in marriage. how romantic.

[lipstickstainz]

true lies - s. r. (14/15)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.

Chapter Summary: Leaving is the only option - right?

Warnings: angst, blood (but not much), break up, drug addiction (mentioned), alcohol consumption

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: hello lovies. I'm back and my mind is full of ideas! I hope you like it! gif not mine.

Series Masterlist

previous chapter

You watch the coffee in your cup as if it has all the answers for the future hidden in the caffeine. It's eight o'clock in the morning, and this is already your third cup of the sacred liquid, and you're sure it won't be your last. The shadows under your eyes are a sign of your nightmares that haunted you last night. The fact that you have them doesn't bother you, after all, you've been going through the procedure for months. What bothers you is the fact that you couldn't wake yourself up this time. You've gotten in the habit of pinching yourself when it would get too painful, but something stopped you last night. And the fact that you don't know what exactly bothers you the most.

"Y/N." Emily's voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you have to tear your gaze away from your coffee. "What do you think?"

All eyes are on you and out of nervousness you'd like to slide around in your chair, but suppress the urge. You haven't been listening for the last few minutes, too busy with your own thoughts and problems that you can't answer her. The case is supposed to be your last, and you're trying hard to enjoy it and value the time with your friends, but really you're just waiting for it all to be over. Most of all, you want to pack your things and leave.

You barely noticeably shake your head for Emily to continue, and turn your attention back to your coffee, which must be cold by now, but that doesn't stop you from drinking it down to the last drop. Without saying anything, you get up from your chair to get another one, paying no attention to Emily's annoyed look. As you fill your cup in the precinct kitchen, she stands right next to you.

"You're not being very helpful, Y/N," she says coolly as you take a sip. You know her manner is all pretense, because in reality she's incredibly concerned. She only needs to look at your face once to know what's going on in your head, but she doesn't address it. She knows you'll talk to her when the time is right. But you're not sure that will ever happen. "I've already assigned the tasks. You stay here and work with Spencer to gather all the important information that may be relevant to Penelope's research." The look on your face says it all. You don't want to spend any time with Spencer, and certainly not alone, but Emily gives you no choice. Before you can say anything back, she disappears out the door with the others.

With your coffee, which you now wish had a strong shot of vodka in it, you make your way back into the conference room, where Spencer is bent over the table, passing pictures and notes back and forth. You stop in the doorway and watch him for a brief moment, and only then do you notice the narrow, red scratch on his face that stretches from his cheek to his neck. You squint your eyes. It hadn't been there yesterday after all.

"What happened?“, you ask as casually as you can as you sit down and set your cup down on the table. As Spencer looks at you questioningly, you point to his face. "Looks bad." Indeed it does, though it's just a scratch. There's bloody crust in a few places, contrasting in color with his pale skin. Something really got to him.

"Cut myself shaving“, he replies curtly, glancing again at the pictures in front of him. You haven't seen him in two years, don't actually remember who he is exactly, but you still know when he's lying. And when to stop asking and let it go. When Penelope calls, you discuss some stuff and you see Spencer scratching over the wound until it bleeds, which he doesn't seem to notice, which is why you stall Penelope on the phone and grab his hand as soon as the line goes silent. Astonished, he looks at you before looking at his fingers.

"Come with me“, you say briefly and don't even wait for him to follow you. You approach an officer and ask for a first aid kit, which is immediately made available to you. Spencer follows you uncertainly into one of the washrooms, where you already put on the disposable gloves from the box - you don't want any bacteria to get on the wound - and wet a towel from the towel dispenser. Reluctantly, Spencer leans against one of the sinks, waiting for your instructions.

"Tilt your head to the side a little, please." You take the damp cloth and gently dab along the scratch to remove the dried blood. Spencer has to swallow at the touch and you see his Adam's apple bob, and really it shouldn't be that attractive, unfortunately it is anyway. You have to concentrate because this is the closest you've been to him in years. You breathe in his scent, feel his warmth through your gloves, and can barely stifle a deep breath.

"How do you know how to do that?“, he asks softly as you disinfect the wound, and Spencer has to pull himself together to keep from reacting to the burning from the alcohol.

You look at him briefly before turning your attention back to the scratch. „Experience“, you reply, spreading some wound healing ointment over it before taking off your gloves and disposing of everything in the trash can. You then put the first aid kit back together. As you turn around, Spencer is standing right in front of you.

"You didn't tell me you were having nightmares“, he whispers, and confused, you look at him. There's concern in his gaze, and if you're not mistaken, a little affection too, but you push the thought aside, not letting yourself have hope. Hope has only harmed you lately you have not moved forward a bit.

You look once more at the scratch, and then into his warm eyes. "You didn't cut yourself shaving“, you count one and one together and clench your jaws. He doesn't need to answer. You did this to him, you just don't remember. The reason you didn't wake up is Spencer. He was probably holding you, reassuring you so much that your body turned off its protective mechanism. It had certainly been the last time he did that, and you hadn't been awake to enjoy it.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?“, he asks, wanting to reach for your hand, but you take a step back. You don't want him to touch you. You'd prefer it if you weren't in this situation at all. You'd prefer that you hadn't come back at all. None of this should have ever happened.

"It's none of your business anymore, Spencer." Your tone is cool and something in his face changes.

"I thought we were friends."

You have to suppress a laugh. Two years ago, you could have lived well with being friends with him. You were prepared for it then, wished it on him, and meant it sincerely. Only lately you've been through so much that you can't even imagine it anymore. The two years had been hell, but you are sure that you can't live next to him without being able to be with him. You can't watch him and Max be happy together, and even though his happiness is everything you want, you'd rather he be happy with you. But you can't tell him that, it would be unfair and selfish. So you just look at him.

Then you reach for the small suitcase and push past him towards the exit.

-

You're glad when the case is over and you arrive back at Quantico. It's been a week since you and Spencer spoke, and luckily for you, you've continued to be spared nightmares, for which you're quite grateful. Not that Spencer is going to join you in bed one more time to calm you down.

As you walk from the airfield back to the building, you fall back a bit, watching the team joke and laugh with each other despite their fatigue. Most of all, you'd like to leave right now without saying goodbye. Rip off the band-aid, without anesthesia. Short and painless. But your plan is foiled when Emily suddenly walks up beside you and puts a hand on your arm.

"We're going for a drink." She raises an eyebrow expectantly. Apparently she's waiting for you to decline the invitation, and all too gladly you'd like to meet her expectations, but it's almost certainly the last night you'll see each other, at least for an extended period of time, and short and painless wouldn't be fair to her - your best friend.

You smile at her. "You're paying for the first round."

Her eyes widen in delight, but before she can say anything back, Luke, who has overheard your conversation, interferes. "We're going out for drinks?" A grin spreads across his face, almost reaching his ears, and suddenly the rest of the team pricks up their ears. Luke's gaze is fixed on you. "I bet I can drink you under the table by now, Y/N."

„You can’t“, Matt replies, and you see Rossi smile to himself. "Last time you did that, you almost passed out after four shots."

"JJ got the drinks. Maybe she mixed something in“, Luke tries to defend himself, but the blonde raises her hands.

"I'm not responsible for your kindergarten drinking. But I'd love to see you try to drink Y/N under the table." She smiles at you and winks, and you can't help but grin. It feels good to know that all is well between you and the team, even though they know with a high probability that you won't be staying. You'd understand if they were mad at you, but that doesn't seem to be the case. JJ looks at Spencer, who is being less than forthcoming. "You coming, Spence?"

He risks a quick glance in your direction before adjusting the bag on his shoulder. He knows this will be your last night. And that you won't see each other again after this. "I think I'll sit this one out“, he replies curtly, but JJ nudges him and he gives her a dirty look.

"You can't avoid it, Spence."

You'd rather he'd gone home.

The first drinks are on Emily, as promised, and the ones after that are on Rossi, and it's actually not long before Luke is sitting at the table with a glass of water, wishing he'd slowed down. You grin at him from the dance floor where JJ and you are swinging your hips, and he sticks his tongue out at you before putting his head in his hands and sipping water through the straw in his glass.

JJ reaches for your hand and pulls you close before wrapping her arms around your neck. "I'm going to miss you“, she almost yells so you can hear her over the loud music. You smile weakly at her. There's a glint in her eyes, probably from the alcohol, and only now do you realize how much you're really going to miss her.

"I'm going to miss you too“, you reply, risking a quick glance in Spencer's direction. He's sitting next to Luke, looking completely out of place. You look back to JJ and without further ado, she puts her hands to your cheeks and presses a kiss to your mouth. When she pulls away from you again, she just grins at you. "What was that for?"

"I want you to know that we love you. We all do. Remember that when you're lonely, and call if you need anything. You are and always will be a part of our weird family."

You wait a brief moment before pulling away from her and disappearing into the ladies' room. As soon as the door slams shut, tears stream down your cheeks and you have to hold onto the edge of the sink to keep from breaking down. You were aware of how much the others would miss you, but hearing it from JJ only makes it more real. By leaving, you're not only leaving Spencer behind, but everyone else as well, and that's so selfish of you that bile rises inside you and you almost throw up. You wish you hadn't had those last two drinks.

"Y/N?" You don't have to turn around to know it's Spencer. You recognized his voice and can see him in the mirror above the sink.He's standing behind you, unsure of what exactly to do, which is why he buries his hands in his pants pockets and looks at you silently.

You wipe the smeared mascara from under your eyes before turning and leaning against the basin. "This is the ladies' room, Spencer. You're not supposed to be in here.“

"I'm right where I'm supposed to be“, he replies, but doesn't move from the spot. He watches you brush your hair out of your forehead and wipe at your hot face to get rid of the tears. "You don't have to go. You know that, right?"

You look up from your shoes, straight into his eyes. "Yes, I do."

You want to leave the washroom, but his fingers curl around your arm, holding you back. "Y/N ..."

"I can't stay, Spencer. I can't look at you without knowing that someone other than me is waiting for you at home. I can't watch you be happy without me. It's okay, really. It's just that I don't have the strength to watch it anymore." The words just bubble out of you, and for some reason you can't stop. But it feels good to say it out loud, even though you certainly shouldn't. "I love you, Spencer. I'll always love you. But I'm at the end of my rope." You shrug in exasperation. "I have to think about me. I can only think about me." Spencer's face contorts painfully, but you can't stop. "To think that you're about to go to Max's and do God knows what ..." You shake your head, as if it might drive the thoughts from your mind. "I feel like I - I - I can't breathe. Like I'm going to die. And I just can't take it anymore."

Spencer's hand comes away from your arm at your honesty, but only to grab your hand and pull you against him. You bounce against his chest, wanting to pull away, but he holds you tight and presses you to him with his other hand. Carefully, he places his palm against your cheek and gently strokes your skin with his thumb. "Please, don't go."

You look into his eyes, which have filled with tears. "Why not?"

You can practically see him struggling with himself. He wants to say something, but can't find the right words, so he presses his lips together and lets his forehead sink against yours. All he has to do is say it, and you'd throw all your plans out the window and stick around. Just a few words. But he doesn't say them. "I can't ..."

You take a deep breath before pulling away from him, disappointed. „Goodbye“, you whisper, before leaving him alone in the washroom.

-

Spencer sits uncertainly at the kitchen table, watching the tea bag with lemon balm in the cup in front of him. He doesn't actually like lemon balm, but he needs something to calm his nerves and get the trembling of his hands under control as he sits there searching for the right words.

The last time he had felt this helpless, Emily had just left his apartment and he had been about to make some phone calls. The first call would have been to a man who would have given him a different number. The second phone call would have been to a woman who would have transferred him. And the third number belonged to someone who would have given him what he was only too happy to get.

Many years ago, he had sworn to himself that he would never resort to it again. That he wouldn't need it. He would be stronger than the desire to feel nothing more. The only thing that had stopped him was that you would never wish that for him. That you had helped him then, had stood by him. He didn't want it to be in vain.

Spencer hates feeling so helpless, even though he actually knows exactly what he has to do now. That's why he sits in the kitchen in the middle of the night, cup of calming tea in hand, not daring to look at the woman sitting across from him. But he doesn't need to say anything either. She knows why he was at her door at such a late hour. They sit in silence, neither quite knowing what to do. Neither of them has been in this situation before. Spencer is glad she's the first to speak.

"So that's it." It's more of a statement than a question. Spencer nods silently, whereupon she purses her lips. "Because of her?"

Spencer looks up from his cup and looks directly at Max. Then he shakes his head. "No, not because of her."

She raises an eyebrow. "But what? Don't you dare give me that 'it's not you, it's me' tour. I've heard that one before."

Spencer has to think for a moment, find the right words, before he answers. "I've lost her so many times. I wouldn't survive it another time."

The two have known each other long enough. Max knows he's not exaggerating or meaning it metaphorically. He has told her about his addiction, and she had been very grateful at the time that he was so honest with her, even though they hadn't known each other long. Spencer knows that all of this is not healthy and psychologically quite far from reasonable and Maxine knows what she has gotten herself into. But no one could have guessed that it would end this way.

"I'm sorry." Spencer's voice sounds hoarse and raspy. He stands up and makes his way toward the apartment door.

"I hope you make it." There's so much honesty in her voice that Spencer has to smile sadly over his shoulder.Maxine doesn't deserve this. None of you deserve this.

The walk to Emily's apartment is short, but to Spencer it feels like an eternity. The train is late, which is why he actually starts running, afraid of missing his chance. He runs until his lungs are burning and his bag is banging painfully against his ribs.The few people left on the streets look at him askance, but he doesn't care. He's panting, barely getting his breath and wishing he was a little more athletic, but as he sprints around the next corner he can already see the building where Emily's apartment is located.

For a brief moment he considers taking a break, catching his breath, but he can't wait another second. Hopefully he's not too late.

He's not surprised that he can just walk into the building, even though he doesn't have a key. He sprints up the stairs, and runs down the hallways until he's gasping for breath and standing in front of the right door, his head high. He bangs on the door with a clenched fist, hoping it will open and he won't be too late. He can't be late. He can't be late.

Finally, the door opens, and for the first time in years, he can take a real breath.

"Y/N."

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[lovee-infected]

Hello!! Can I request headcanons about gn mc who got sick (with fever or something to the point they can't go to school) and the twst boys decided to visit and take care of them? I've always enjoyed your headcanon! Thank you!!

Riddle Rosehearts

He's got much of a weak immune system himself so he's usually prepared for unexpected situations like this. He knows what to do.

Just lay back against your pillow, do exactly as he says and you'll return to full health in no time

He'd probably be really angry if he finds you out of bed without his permission or spending too much time over your phone and reading books; he insists on you resting and much as possible.

He agrees on being possibly a -bit- over protective but he doesn't mind. If this will do any good at your healing process then he's more than okay with it.

Whenever you tell him to stop over stressing himself because of you he just goes: " Me ? Over stressing? Of course not! If you wish me to be calmer than I already am, then stop playing around and rest well till you get better."

He truly does work his hardest for you while you need him, from takings notes of what has been teached during your absence to spending at least 2 hours a day with you, making sure that nothing goes wrong.

As the strict leader of Heartslabyul, he usually spends most of the day watching over students and checking whether they are doing good at school and exams or not, but for now he cuts back on these responsibilities to take care of you. He may not shout that out loudly, but he always puts you before any other responsibilities he might have. Perhaps he enjoys spending time with you just as much as he enjoys having fresh strawberry tarts.

Trey Clover

You were still trying to catch up with the classes but Trey just knew that it'd be too much. It was him who made you forget about the school and instead, rest in your room.

You are a bit stressed out about not being able to take care of your chores, but thankfully he is there for you. He isn't known as heartslabyul's mother for no reason, make sure that he knows how to caress and pamper you better than anyone else.

Aside checking on you every day and bringing you additional medicines and food, he makes sure to collect notes of everything that is teached during your apsence so you won't have problems catching up with the studies afterwards . No need to mention that his cooking on the other hand is stunning, 5 star chef Trey at your service.

He understands that it might be a bit boring laying down in bed without anyone to talk to, so he often comes to you as you need someone to talk to and also brings you your favorite books to read so you won't get any bored when he can't be there.

He never says a word to make you feel any bad or frustrating about being nursed by him, instead he knows how to motivate you to get better even sooner: " Nursing you is absolutely adorable, but I don't want my dear (y/n) stuck in a bed all day while I'm willing to show you way more exciting things than a just couple of books,"

Cater Diamond

Clones, clones and clones :Time to get to work! The best part with it is that he can always make sure to have at least one of his clones watching over you even if he's busy with school or stuff, not that he lets you know what he's doing though.

You wonder why Cater's staying with you 24/7, as a third year student, isn't he supposed to be like, really busy with studying? Cater assures you that there's nothing to worry about, and it seriously isn't. He can always catch up with everything even his actual self stays all night at yours.

While his use of clones might seem a bit tricky, he still makes sure to provide you with anything you as long as you're sick need and even more: Bringing you roses and chibi, stuffed animals as gifts, along with sweet chill chats whenever you're awake, sending you soft love quotes with a bunches of colorful hearts and kisses via text even as he's right beside you, He enjoys how you'll need to look up your messages to see what he texts you allthough he's sitting just a few meters away from you. Aw, the way you blush whenever youlok at your phone, how cute~

Ace Trappola

What's the purpose of going to school when he does not understand a single word of it while his mind is all stuck on you? What are doing now? Are you fine? Does your chest Still hurt? Has your pain gotten any worse? Is there someone with you right now? What if you need help??

He's about to lose his mind, he tries asking someone free to check on you but there doesn't seem to be such a person available at the moment. 'That's it , I'll go on my own'

With the help of the year gang ( Jack, Deuce and Epel) he fakes breaking his leg during a PE session and yeets off the school for an entire week. YES!

He is moving to your place for a couple of days and Deuce will cover up for him whenever someone asks where Ace is.

Ace just knows that you're sick, he isn't sure of the exact name or type of your illness. On his way to yours, he fills a bag with anything he finds at Heartslabyul's cabinets with any title as -medicine- for you. He'll later look for the right one you need between them.

When you get to look into what he has brought, you aren't sure if he's kidding or not and when you ask, Ace realizes that he's really goofed up: what he actually brought was nothing else than animal medicines, and he he literally brought you each and every of them existing in Heartslabyul; how come didn't he see the pets/only label-??

You're lucky that you already have your medicines prepared, so you tell him not to worry about it. He feels so damn embarrassed wanting to melt into earth right now, but you have to admit he really lifted up your mood. You're happy to have your cute, Crabby-haired idiot besides you while you're sick, and he tries his best to help you with cooking and making sure of you taking your right medicines on time to make up for the mess he made on his first day:" Ehehe...at least...you can use some of them when Grim gets sick, right ?"

Deuce Spade

He really wants to stay there taking care of you but... he has to go to school as well. He has to get much higher grades this semester if he doesn't want to have to spend another year as a first year.

He can't skip any of classes, but promises to spend the rest of his day after school.

He rushes with his school uniform still on to your place, not wanting to be even a second late . He has to carry some casual clothes along with his books since he wants to stay over nights if you need him.

Due to get getting in trouble a lot back at the time, he's rather educated in medical field so he knows much and less of what he'll need to do as you're sick?

His cooking isn't something he can rely on so he goes to Trey, telling that he needs some soup for Ace since he seems to be looking a bit sick lately?

He prepares your food, brings you warm towels, repeatedly checks your body temperature and when you're finally asleep, gets to his own studies. He ends up Having fewer than 3 hours of night sleep multiplr times and once, he didn't get any sleep at all.

He tries his hardest to look his best in front of you so you won't notice how terrible he actually is; when you question the bags under his eyes, he claims them to be left from the mascara which a couple of guys put on him a few days ago for fun and consistently laughs. Damn, this boy doesn't even know how to lie huh? He is literally dying, but he won't tell you a word. He can handle worse...

When you finally return to full health you realize how terrible he's been doing lately and you take rule of his nurse this time. Making sure that your cinnamon roll would finally get some sleep.

Leona Kingscholar

"My room, now". You look way too terrible to be able to make it to the classes therefore he has to make sure that you won't do anything stupid while you need to be taking some rest.

Bringing you to his own room wasn't his main intention since he just wanted to keep an eye on you but couldn't afford to visit you everyday if you didn't live any close to him so, easiest solution to the problem would be you staying with him.

He lets you use his bed but keeps on reminding you that it's just because you're sick so you better not be expecting such things to ever happen again. He would fall asleep in less than a minute at whatever he lays his head on, so sleeping on the ground isn't as hard as it seems. He just had to make sure that you would't step on him or his tail when you walk out of the bed.

He can ask Ruggie to nurse you and all, but decides to do most of your stuff on his own because it'd be a lot worse if Ruggie too gets sick. Sharing the same room with you has already put him on a pretty high infection risk so, that wouldn't really matter if he's the one nursing you or not. He doesn't really mind getting sick either, a free chance to take some days off school and chill; why not ?

He turns out to be pretty good with board games and there's no need to worry about getting bored while you can go for 100+ chess matches with Leona winning you each and every time; a bit ironic, but entertraining nonetheless.

He's actually really enjoying spending time with you, but isn't really expressing it. The only time when he actually shows some direct affection is when he plants secret kisses on your forehead as you're asleep.

Ruggie Bucchi

He has grown up in an awfully poor family with multiple siblings, so he's pretty familiar to the pain of seeing those you hold dear sick .He has turned into a not only responsible but also supportive boy toward friends and family, so you can make sure that he can take the best care of you while you're sick.

Perhaps his only problem is...Leona. He'd need Ruggie around even during school time and the hyena boy can't even have a full 30 minutes away from him which makes it impossible for Ruggie to take his time checking on you at least once a day.

Well, he has to find a way to babysit both of you at the same time so, -Let's take you to his own room-

Great ! He no longer needs to worry now that he can take care of you both. Leona too agrees on you staying at his as long as you don't cause any trouble.

Poor Ruggie has to sleep on the floor but assure you that he rarely gets to be the one sleeping on bed back in the home so, he is kinda used to sleeping on the cold ground.

He knows how to cook? Much and and less of it but who cares? He just asks you what you want and returns with it in 30 minutes; guess why: Because he'd just borrow the food from someone else. He doesn't mind his dirty ways indeed, you're sick so, you're more important than some dude wanting to chill on his food during lunchtime.

He just takes a list of medicines you may need and returns with all of them in his bag. He has to come at the right time on his own every time you have to take any of them since you'd most likely either fall asleep or forget to take them on time.

Enjoy your time with him, because it's gonna be a real luxury. He'd treat you nothing less than the way he treats Leona as he's sick so, you may consider yourself a part of a royal family at his service.

Jack Howl

Fluffy tsundere wolf is ready to give up on all he's got for you, what on earth might be sweeter than this ?

The moment, no, the second he realizes that you're not feeling well, Jack would immediately take you to the nurse office to see if you're. It's such a relief that it isn't thst serious, all you need to do is to take some rest.

Meanwhile you're resting in bed, he'll do the shopping and asks the kitchen for some soup ( You're sick you can't have too salty or sweet foods like normal cafeteria meals ) He gives up on his own meal to get some for you instead, it's just hunger of course he can handle it.

He feeds you and makes sure that you'll finish your entire meal, reminds you to take your medicines on time, brings you your favorite books to read and, most importantly, listens to... anything you'd ask him for.

He hardly ever lets anyone touch his ears or tail but if it's you, why not? You even fall asleep hugging his tail like a doll and he just patiently waits for you to wake up, blushing as he appreciates how cute you look while asleep.

Damn he has to keep the distance otherwise he as well would end up being sick but, it just seems impossible to say no when you ask for cuddles.

Jack tells you stories of his home town and national legends making your mouth drop in fascination. His stories seem to amaze him just as they amaze you and it makes him unbelievably happy to see you liking things he's been appreciating all over his life.

He even gets to the point of talking about his will to become all mighty and strong just like the magicians he looks up to, especially Leona. Just watching his strength gives you the will to overcome your illness and be at least a bit like Jack; he's really great, isn't he?

Azul Ashengrotto

No no no- Unacceptable! You shouldn't be sick, you shouldn't -get- sick- He told you to watch what you eat and what you wear as it's raining out there - HE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES- But now what? You are sick.

Azul panicks, he keeps on exaggerating the whole thing even if it's just a normal cold. He just isn't the type to easily deal with sicknesses. Whenever he catches a cold, it'll take him weeks to return to full health due to how weak his body is and, he's so worried about you being the same.

Soup, warm water bath, Medicines , magic potions to reduce the fever, ultimate revival spells... he showers you in all of them. Even if the virus won't kill you Azul's overprotection will most likely do, and he'll get really mad if you tell him that he's exaggerating it.

When you regain half of your full health, you ask him to let you return to school and- He immediately pits you back in bed: "No leavings, not until you're done with this troublesome fever or whatever."

You feel like an adult forced to stay in a cradle and wear diapers meanwhile Azul thinks that you're too naive to take your health seriously.

When you finally manage to pull him over, you realize how sick and pale he's gotten since you got sick. The bags under his eyes proved that he hasn't been getting much of sleep recently. "God what have you done to yourself-"

You finally tell him that he's the one who needs help , not you. You plant a kiss on his cheek and force his head to your lap, wanting him to get some sleep. He slowly understands that he might've been taking it a bit too seriously, but since you are fine now, he's kinda glad that he took it hard on you. He just wants you to be safe and sound; even if his it's going to cost his own health on the first placd.

Jade Leech

Humans get sick? It's pretty rare of aquatic creatures, especially eels to get sick so Jade's pretty new to this . 'wow , pathetic , aren't humans?' he thinks . Well anyway he can't just stand back and make fun humans while you seem to be in serious pain, but what can he do? He still has a lot to learn about human life and it's his first time having one of them sick, oh man.

Well, they tell that you should get some...rest ? Well maybe he should take you to bed. First step done , let's go for the rest. He blocks several of his classmates in the corners asking for... information. He simply takes notes . Possibly useful medicines and meals, hours of sleeping, allowed activities, useful tips, warnings, etc.

He has to read the list several times to make sure that he's got it all right. Let's nurse (y/n).

He unexpectedly goes from 0 to 100 like bam- bye eel boy hello nurse Leech. He'll turn your room into a hospital room, a good one though, filled with dolls and flowers and anything he was told to add because they send away positive vibes.

His cooking on the other hand is amazing. He'll look for several light meals for sick bodies but- chooses those which match your tastes . You can't help but to love everything he cooks . Chef's kiss.

He changes your bed pillow and cloths everyday, returning with washed, silky pillows and covers . A warm, smooth bed is what you need for a good sleep.

If there was such a status he would've been the god of nursing; wow you would've needed pay him off a lot for his service if he wasn't giving it all to his darling for free.

When you finally regain your health, he just has one more question left to ask before leading you to your daily classes: "Now now dear, would you mind rating me , and my nursing service?"

seem like he's really curious to see whether he's done it correctly or not.

Floyd Leech

Things seem so uncool when you're not as energetic as always , pale skin as if you're choking on lack of oxygen and bizarreness in your movements like a doll, smh, so boring.

Just like Jade, he's pretty new to surface life and watching you bear with illness looks pretty weird in his eyes?

When Jade, finally, informs him on what exactly happens to human body while struggling with an illness and what he must do to you to get rid of this annoying mode, he understands. Floyd still finds human's body shitty for how weak it is but decides to use Jade's words as a guide to deal with you.

A warm bed, fluffy pillows and stuffed animals, these seemed to be enough for step one: Enough of rest and sleep. He can't blame you on this one though, sleeping is always amazing. Something that never gets boring. Everything seems to be pretty fine to begin with, sadly it won't last any longer than a few hours-

He's told to bring you food, but when he returns with 4 bags filled with chocolate, candy, soda and chips; it's obvious that he didn't get the point correctly. Jade explains that your body is still way to weak for too salty or sweet foods, even highly cooked meals would worsen your immune system and make it take much longer to be healed.

Floyd goes for a second pick up and this time: this time returns with raw potatoes and frozen meat- Raw potatoes and frozen meat-. Well, he just followed everything Jade told him...? Neither too salty nor to sweet, and raw because Jade told him not to bring over-cooked stuff. Even if the virus did you no harm you would've probably died under his food selections if Jade wasn't there to stop him...

While his food choices might be horrible, Floyd's still one of the best mutuals you can have close when you aren't feeling well. With him beside you, giggling and chuckling as he rambles on how boring his day was, you've got to admit that you'd rarely feel sick when he's around. Although you're sick at the moment, nothing seems to have changed between the two of you, he enjoys spending time with you now just as much as he enjoys it when you're all safe and sound.

Well...maybe he can't be the best nurse you'd get to have , but one thing's for sure: No one can ever make you laugh like he does and, you know what say: Laughter is the best medicine~

Kalim al asim

He can't be any more worried, he stresses out whenver a friend is sick and now, it's not just a friend, it's -you-, one of the dearest and closest ones Kalim had ever had; just how can he keep calm ???

He is being raised under severe health protection and hardly ever catches even a simple cold, several people had taught him strict health routines and he had to follow them all over his life, so he is considerably familiar with ways of overcoming and illness , and that's what he's here for!

Jamil forbids him from cooking since it's too dangerous if he needs to use any knifes, but that wouldn't hold him back from finding enormous food recipes based on your favorite condiments to make your meal more pleasant.

He makes sure to prepare anything you need in a matter of seconds, golden peacock or 5000 camels, doesn't matter ! He's got way more than enough and what use would be better than giving them to you?

He can take care of you on his own, but Jamil insists on Kalim leaving it all to him and stay away from you as much as possible (No need to mention the high risk of infection for Kalim since he's almost sticking to you all the time)

Jamil as well would caress you meanwhile you rest at Scarabia (Right, Kalim proudly brought you there ) and Kalim, makes sure to stay close to you as much as he can, mostly when Jamil isn't around to tell him off- He doesn't want to put Jamil in more trouble but, you are his first priority.

You're bound to your bed, but just having Kalim around brings way more fascinating adventures than what you might get to see out there. His stories really do show you to a whole new world and takes the pain in your lungs and chest way further that your mind could catch . Perhaps Kalim is he one and only who can make your mind fly, even as your body's laying lifelessly in bed.

Jamil Viper

For the first time, someone stressed him out more than Kalim always does. He's always expecting to be scared to death because of him, but because of you? Damn he didn't see this coming.

Depending on what your illness is, he manages to freak out even more or clam himself down to his sane self, but the main point is how he's got to serve you all the best until you're totally safe.

He soon prepares any kind of medicine and chemical you may need and you have to use them all properly, don't even think of rejecting any single one of them otherwise Jamil would force feed you: "Don't be such a baby, you won't get any better unless you have these"

Just like Azul, he might be a bit overprotective with your health since he doesn't even let you leave the bed for more than a few minutes. He insists on you avoiding any sort of activities that may be tiring or heavy to your body.

To be honest, the thought of using his snake whisper on you when you don't behave or ask him to stop being so strict over a simple illness crosses his mind. Luckily, he refuses to use it. You're still his lover that'd be too heartless of him to take advantage of you like this just because you can't see how much he loves you.

He needs to keep the distance, but has to admit that it can be really hard to avoid hugging and kissing all over your face when you're gazing at him with that sweet smile.

Having you close makes Jamil realize how affectionate he actually is: How much he misses the healthy and happy you who he was never in a danger. Well maybe this nursing days gives him a lesson to at least try to have some sweeter time with you while you are all safe and sound - and not tiredly laying in your bed.

Vil Schoenheit

You can consider yourself nothing less than a Prince/ Princess when Vil of all people is caressing you. Your body is still way too weak to have control of anything going on in your life at the moment, and that's how Vil takes control over all of them- all in your life. Which means that you now have to live and do as he wishes.

He will take no effort in turning you into one of the fairest of all students in school (Not that you'll ever reach him though) as long as he can have his eyes over you. His rules are way more than just -beauty- ; just as he can be the all fair and powerful Queen who steps on you, he knows how to play the role of the nurse like a Queen would do~

A royal maiden is only to serve the royal family, so it's time to show how much of a princess /prince you can be in bed. You don't need to worry about your medicines or meals since Vil's always organized and on time with them, not to mention that his cooking too seems to be pretty good. He uses light yet, nutritious recipes that you'd enjoy and you're really surprised because these kinds food don't really look tasty.

Perhaps he just needed an excuse all this time to get this close to you, so he can take care of anything he's been dreaming to do with you all this time. Pedicure and manicure, trying on new fruit masks, resting face and body muscles to have a smoother, cleaner skin, etc.

Your room is a beauty salon at this point and you usually forget that you're actually sick.

He works on not only your physical beauty but also your manners, he doesn't care if you're sick or not . It's the best time to take away your poor manners and habits.

Well the scary Queen has got his own soft spots too; while indirectly giving you beauty lessons, he enjoys teasing you as you sometimes look pretty naive and new to all dos and don'ts of a high-level life like his, and he's more than pleased to teach you: "Pull yourself together , potato."

Rook Hunt

He isn't really into the whole nursing game but- If it's an opportunity to stalk caress and admire you all night, why not?

He is lowkey familiar with the basics so, it isn't supposed to be that difficult to handle . Finding pills and medicines isn't hard either since they can all be found at mister S's shop. ( He would've liked it better if he had to get them from a moster or something, anything more adventurous)

Though he doesn't really like quiet and safe journeys he'd actually appreciate it if it's with you. And of course, he won't let anyone else take advantage. Let it just be with the two of you and all~

He isn't about to hurt or scare you in any sort way; it's true that he just loves it when things get a bit dangerous but, he knows how to manage excitement as well. You want him to be a soft gentleman? Then that's what he's going to be.

Rook would be the softest Rook you could've ever imagined when he plays the nurse. It can't even be called nursing: It's about a passionate lover spending all his time with his darling who isn't feeling well. Even his expressions are taken to a totally different level, the mysterious smile he always puts on is replaced with a worried and, mildly sad gaze that makes your heart melt.

Might sound too dramatic bug he may even sing you to sleep. Sweetest words ever dancing to the rhythm of his unique accent that make your cheeks hurt at trying not to blush. This isn't the only drama he's up to though, even his normal speaking often ends up with your mind drowning in feelings. He won't bother giving you soft kisses on hand and forehead when you don't expect it. He likes surprising you, even if it's in a romantic way.

And...the real Rook, is only out when you're asleep. Sitting on a chair just a few inches away from your bed, a pair of eyes carefully follow the pace of your chest as it rises and falls. He's never tired, a huntsman gets no sleep as long as his prey's close by. Wow, if sweetness is all he needed to approach you, then he should give it a try more often~

Epel Felmier

His first reaction to hearing of you being sick is summarised in :Gasping, Blushing, Questioning, Sad puppy eyes. "It's just a simple fever...right? (Y/n) will soon be better..." , Epel confronts himself. He isn't getting overly emotional, but when it comes to you, he does have a sensitive spot.

At first, it is his anxiety over your health that makes him want to come over to your house to check up on you everyday but , it soon ends up being more serious. What if this is an opportunity to prove his reliability? You'd finally get to see how much of a strong and helpful man he can be. Even as he looks soft.

While Epel's trying his hardesr to seem a tough as possible, you can't help but to adore his cuteness as he is doing his best while you're sick. He bakes you the best of apple pies you've ever had and you have to admit; being sick can't hold you back from enjoying the sweet taste of fresh, caramelized baked apples melting in your mouth.

Growing up to be a country boy, he never really relied on chemicals as a useful cure to any illnesses. He's more into organic ways of helping human body into regaining its lost energy, which can be put as : 1) Healthy food 2) Enough of sleep and rest 3) Lifted up spirits and enough of humor. He'd be really protective over the last option, he wants to make sure that your self-esteem and spirits would be way better than ever

He has to keep the distance, but some small cuddles would not hurt, right? Perhaps some small forehead kisses before bedtime too. He's still pretty uncomfortable with kisses but, since you're sick...that can be counted as an exception.

Idia Shroud

He's been away from humanity for too long; long enough to almost forget that humans get sick. Robots sometimes have their codings crashed or their gears damaged, that's when they'll need an engineer to repair them . How did the cure system work with humans?? He can't really remember. Due to spending time with almost nobody except Ortho (who happens to be a robot) and hardly ever leaving his room and as the result, barely getting sick, Idia is pretty new to human body's metabolism; he isn't sure of what he might be able to do for you. But, humans have something called...immune system, right? Ah something that heals body on its own. Well maybe relying on that would be enough.

He decides to give you some far distance support instead of comimg all way down to your dorm . He can't be any more happier of technology's existence for such cases. Your immune system can heal you on its own, all he've got to do is to send some motivation your way. The summary of most of his extremely motivational texts would be : "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger! Keep it up (y/n)!!👊✨💥" and when you reply telling him how terrible you're feeling he'd just try to look for strongers sentences-

He repeatedly mistakes humans and robots and accidently texts you:" why don't you get someone to repair you?" several times. Then goes to bang his head against the wall realizing how dumb he's acting.

When you get worse he gives up. Maybe those sentences wasn't enough of motivation . Idia really does want to come visit you in person but he seems to be bound to his area. Well at least, Ortho isn't, right? He comes up with a way better idea to program Ortho to take care of you while Idia can't do it himself. He copied hundreds of anatomy, human biology and medicine to Ortho's data list. Well that seems to be enough. He can now cook, wash clothes, brings you your medicines and most importantly, remain by your side all the time as you may need help. Idia puts s small camera on Ortho so he'd be able to watch what's going on as long as you need Ortho's his help. He feels quite guilty for not showing up on his own but- maybe it's just better this way. Coming in person would do no good but him freaking out at not knowing what to do which would end up in making you feel worse. Long distance watch as he controls Ortho around is way better, even if he has to keep his eyes on tablet 24/7. He cuts back on his sleeping to make sure that nothing would go wrong. Even long distance watch seems to be stressful at this point...

He does care about you, a lot, but right now, he's no prepared to show physical affection. Let him show his love through his very own ways, he's just taking baby steps with you <3

Malleus Draconia

"Now now little one, don't give in so easealy. I know you're stronger than this..." Malleus motivates you. You certainly aren't going to die just because of a simple fever but still, wow. Humans -are- truly weak and fragile. He shouldn't really be caring for a mortal being especially if it's a human, but you are an 'exception'; you always are.

He could just leave you to Lilia and Sebek and you would've been under their watch and care 24/7, but he prefers to do this on his own since you are his favorite creature. He doesn't mind seeing how you'd overcome the pain even if it's with a simple cold. He wants to get more of you and your expressions.

He doesn't really have much to do, magic can do it all. All it takes to turn your depressing room into a prince/princess's dreamy bedroom is a twist of a finger. Go on and tell him what you want , you shall have in within a second. "All the best for you, child of man~"

While his significant magic skills are all truly stunning and helpful, his presence on his own seems to be the best part of him nursing you. He is your tsunotarou, afterall~ Not the descendant of Mistress of all Evil but only when it comes to you.

Sometimes he'd make you wish you'd stay in bed forever and ever, all to have him here, by your side. Just to have his soft, slender fingers brushing against your cheek and playing with the tip of your hair.

He does talk, but most of the time being is spent in silence since he doesn't want to bother you if it's hard for you to talk. He may pretend to be busy with something else but it's just to take your mind over the fact that he's watching you all the time. His small gestures are just as sensual as his words. Kisses on forehead, locking his dragon eyes with you , brushing your soft hair with hand as you lay on his shoulder (not that he cares about keeping the distance although you're sick. Your human illnesses are way too weak to do any harm to him, anyway~ )

His favorite time of the day is when you're asleep. You're adorable and lovely all time but, your sleeping pose, it's unimaginably beautiful to him. Watching your calm face empty of any emotion followed by the calm, yet, organized pace in your breathing as your chest falls and rises. He barely gets any sleep during the night, he doesn't need it. Watching you is way more pleasing: "Sweet dreams, my precious little human~"

Lilia Vanrouge

The most experienced, dedicated nurse here. He's been raising many of baby faes and struggling with a young, fireball shooter baby Malleus over the years. Nursing a fragile ill human like you is no more than a warm-up for him.

Chill on your bed and let him take care of everything, from the warm towels to fluffy blankets and pillows. Smooth music playing in your room as you take short naps, plushies and teddy bears around your bed giving you feelings of a newborn baby sleeping in a warm and fancy bed.

That's not all, along with his professional nursing skills, having Lilia himself around would take it all to a whole new level. He is so full of contrasts; Young and old, quite and wild, wise and careless, serious and silly and probably hundreds of other adjectives you can name.

Where else would you find a nurse who'd play you your favorite rock tracks on his guitar in the afternoon while at night, brings you cookies and hot milk to have while listening to his old but -gold- stories before going to sleep?

Lilia has got it all, old, new, calm, wild, and perhaps that's how it's never boring when he's the one you are spending time with. 'Sickness with benefits' to call. But, don't forget his horrible cooking skills.

Better hide some canned food under your pillow to save yourself from starvation when he's not around, refuse to eat his food st any cost (otherwise you'll need another 2 week hospitalized because of food poisoning-)

Make sure to thank your adorable bat nurse when you're back to full health; even if your stomach's still in pain because of his nasty cooking.

Silver

It's...his first time taking care pf someone. He is neither experienced nor educated when it comes to human health... especially because of how he's been living with fairies (who barely get sick) all over his life. The only reliable source for him would be his own memories; how Lilia used to take care fo him when he was a child. There isn't much he can remember but that'd do

Nursing doesn't seem to be that hard when he actually gives it a try - Mostly about you sleeping all day. Wow if sleeping this much is considered to be a symptom of being sick, then Silver himself has to be sick as hell 24/7. He isn't really sure if that's concerning or not

He is doing good since he seems go be pretty responsible and calm toward the whole thing, but don't expect him to be on time.

Silver wants to make sure that you'll take your medicines on time but he often fails to. He oversleeps most of the time and when he's up, he'd panic knowing that you missed your hourly medicine again.

He'd lowkey feel frustrated and useless when he misses stuff because of his sleeping issues, especially when it comes to you. He have to go for a stronger method so, he ends up in using 7 different clocks and alarms to make sure that he won't miss anything anymore; you're sick. He has to do all his best to take care of you. Nobody matters more than you do. Alarm clocks he uses are freaking loud and give him a heart attack whenever he uses them to wake up. Poor guy would need a long sleep when you're better.

He often falls asleep next to your bed after making sure that you are having a peaceful night sleep. He places a goodnight kiss on your forehead lays his head at the bottom of your bed. Who knows, maybe he would dream of you tonight, again.

Sebek Zigvolt

There's no way that you'd ever come close to master Malleus but- he still cares for you, a lot. Perhaps as much as he cares for Malleus although he refuses to confess to it. He is trained and skilled for all possible emergencies so he's all prepared to take the best possible care of you and make sure that you'll return to full health in no time.

He just knows what he is doing and makes sure that things would run smoothly. He is keeping each and every aspect in consideration and can organize everything like no one else can. From your sleeping schedule to light exercises required as you're sick. He insists on you starting to develop a better life style so that you won't end up in bed and lose time like this.

It's nice to have someone keeping the balance of your life when you need it, but when it's Sebek we're talking about, know that he might go a bit -too far- with it. He'd be overly protective and strict while you need a considerable deal of sympathy and softness too since you're sick - He collects notes of everything that was teached while you were sick and brings them to you to study, telling you that it'd be impossible to keep up with the rest of the lessons unless you study them right now, in your bed. And when you complain of it being hard to read and sit due to how weak your body is, he returns with the solution: Audio books (He isn't giving up... deal with it )

Studying isn't your only issue: he's being protective over each and every muscle you move. He'd wake you up early in the morning for a light, morning work out and doesn't let you out of the bed for the rest of the day. Whenever you complain, that's what his answer would be: " Master Lilia has blessed me with these , gloriously impressive lessons he's learned through experiences within his long- lasting life!! I believe in his words from the bottom and there's surely no cure greater than this if he says so" poor boy isn't considering he possibility of Lilia tricking him again at all.

This puppy means good, even if he fails to show it as great as you might be expecting him to. In fact he is just following all that he's told to, meanwhile he's pretty inexperienced and new to it. You may find it a bit unfair but, consider that he would've never gone out of his way to take care of you for plenty of hours everyday if it wasn't for you (Or Malleus-) seeing you sad on its own gives him wet puppy vibes let alone having you sick . He may act like a coward but, it's all because of how much you mean to him.

[kakaxhi]

Kakashi Hatake | Finally

Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x Reader Warnings: language, mentions smut Word Count: 1.6k A/N: sorry this took a little longer then usual, I struggled a tiny bit. Also, I'm sorry this isn't a full smut fic, (I'm not the best as writing that) but it gets the point across. (headcanons changed to fic with requester's permission)

You could feel his eyes on you again.

You chalked it up to him watching over you on this mission, but had an inkling of a feeling it was something more. There were plenty of times where you caught him staring, and he catching you. You couldn't help yourself, your feelings growing for the Copy Ninja with each passing day.

And now, here you were at the end of a long mission getting to spend every moment with him. Normally, you wouldn't mind spending so much time with him, but your feelings for the man made focusing on the mission difficult. You would've gotten severely hurt if Kakashi hadn't stepped in at the last second.

"Thank you, for saving me back there I mean."

"You got distracted during an A-rank mission. Don't let it happen again."

He kept walking, leaving you standing there dumbfounded. He's never used that tone with toy before. Shaking off the thoughts, you ran to catch up with him, only to keep your distance as he was still slightly pissed.

You finally reached the gates of Konoha. You ended up turning in the report, letting Kakashi go home and cool off. You stepped into the Hokage's office, bowing slightly before turning in your paperwork.

"I'm surprised Kakashi is not with you."

"I told him to go home, we ran into some trouble but things ended up going well thanks to him. If that'll be all, I have to get some things done."

With nothing else needed, you left with a respectful bow and made your way to Kakashi's home. Your knuckled rapped on the door quickly; only waiting a few minutes before he opened the door. His forehead protector was off, and even after knowing him all this time, seeing the Sharingan was a little intimidating.

"You wear that mask in the shower too?"

His expression hardened, "No. Why are you here, [Y/N]?"

"I just came to apologize. Can I come in?"

He sighed, stepping aside to let you inside. He shut the door behind you, watching you as if waiting for you to speak up.

"You want to tell me what got you so distracted you almost screwed up the mission? That's not like you."

"Well, it's not really something I want to tell you, 'Kashi."

He rolled his eyes at the nickname, but the pink on his cheeks gave away his true emotions.

"You have lost nickname privileges until you tell me what happened."

"Fine, but you have to tell me why you got so mad."

Kakashi stared at you as if you had a second head.

"You're serious, right? [Y/N], you could've died! What would I have done then?"

"Finish the mission."

He hated how matter-of-fact you sounded. He sighed, hand wiping the stray strands of hair from his eyes.

"Okay, yes. Even then, I'd have to come back and tell everyone I couldn't save someone I care about again. And yes, it's part of the life we lead as shinobi, I get it. So let me rephrase my question. What would I do if you were gone?"

You shrugged, "We all lose people, Kakashi. You know that better then anyone. You'd get over me eventually."

"How can you say that when you're one of the most important people I know?"

Embarrassment filled your veins, causing you to look away from him. His hand reached up out of instinct, and it was then you realized just how close he was.

"Please, don't turn away from me."

Tension filled the air between you, his hand still gently resting on your cheek. You stared into his eyes, your body moving before you could process it. Your fingers went to the edge of his mask, tugging slightly. He nodded, not even thinking of stopping you as you slowly pulled off his mask.

"Are you going to just stare?"

"With a face like that, how could I not?"

His shy smile made you swoon, but it wasn't until you felt his smooth lips on yours that your heart beat faster. Your arms loosely wrapped around his neck as he pushed you against the wall. His lips left your own, trailing over your cheek and down your jaw. It was when he got to your neck you slowly pushed him away.

"Do you want to stop?"

You shook your head, "Bedroom, now. Please."

He nodded, kissing you again before leading you to his bed. He gently laid you on the plush blankets before taking off his shirt. Your eyes roamed his upper body, lifting a hand to trace the scars along his chest and torso.

"Still find me attractive?"

You nodded, leaning up to kiss him again. Nothing was more intoxicating then feeling him against you. Your fingers tugged on the waistband of his pants.

"Take these off, Kakashi."

He obliged, leaving him only in his boxers. He looked you over, a teasing smirk on his lips.

"Seems as though you're overdressed, baby."

Kakashi couldn't keep his eyes off of you as you stripped off every layer. His lips met yours in a heated kiss once you took off the last item.

"Holy fuck, you're gorgeous."

He kissed you once more before sliding off his boxers. Your eyes widened slightly at his length slapping against his stomach. He chuckled, leaning down to kiss along your jaw.

"If you wanna stop, we can."

"No, no. I'm fine. Please, continue."

He eyed you carefully, making sure this is what you truly wanted. You placed a hand gently on his cheek, rubbing the bone with your thumb.

"If I wanted to stop I'd tell you. But I don't. I want this, I want you."

He leaned forward, lips meeting yours in another passionate kiss. His hips moved against your own, feeling his length pressed against your thigh. He pulled away from your mouth slightly only when he ran out of air.

"Okay, but if you change your mind you let me know. I want you to be comfortable."

"Same goes for you, 'Kashi."

Pink tinted his cheeks but he quickly covered his embarrassment with a sassy remark.

"I think it's kinda evident I don't want to stop."

-

A long, loud groan left him as he finished. His forehead rested against your own, chest heaving with each deep breath. A small moan left him as he pulled out, still sensitive to touch. You whimpered at the feeling of being empty, Kakashi gently rubbing your thigh as he got up.

After getting all cleaned up, Kakashi relaxed next to you in bed. You were too tired to form a coherent sentence, opting to gently rub his chest before turning over. The last thing you remembering is Kakashi pulling you against his chest before falling asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, Kakashi wasn't in bed. The smell of food cooking fully woke you up. You grabbed the first shirt you saw on the floor, tossing it on before walking into the kitchen. Kakashi stood in front of the stove in just his boxers. And you could see his neck was bare, meaning he wasn't wearing his mask.

"Morning."

"Good morn-" He paused when he saw you, "is that my shirt?"

You looked down, "I guess it is. Sorry."

He chuckled, "For what? Keep it on, I'll wash your clothes for you when we're done eating."

You sat beside him, silence filling the void before he spoke up.

"So, about last night. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, that's why I brought it up."

"I don't know, you're not the best at talking about your feelings, Kakashi."

He nodded, "Yeah, that's true. I guess I mostly just want to know where you stand. If you want to forget the whole thing, I'll understand. I just - I couldn't control my feelings for you any longer."

"So, that's why you got pissed at me on the mission."

"Well, yeah. I've cared for you for so long. But I never acted on it because I didn't know how you felt towards me and I couldn't risk losing you. I've lost too much already."

Your features softened, "Kakashi, you big dope."

"Hear I am pouring my heart out and you're calling me names."

You laughed softly, hand cupping his cheek so he could look at you, "Do you know how long I've had feelings for you?"

He looked at you dumbfounded, "What?"

"Shit, you are so cute. You really didn't know?"

"No, I didn't want to read to much into it. I wish you said something sooner."

You chuckled, "You and me both."

He took your hand in his, pulling you against him. He smiled as you instinctively placed your head against his chest.

"So, what happens now? Because after last night, and especially after what you just told me, I don't think I could ever be just friends with you."

You placed a hand on his chest, just above his heart, "We take it one day at a time, no need to rush things. As long as I get to kiss you again."

He chuckled, placing his lips on yours, "You can do that whenever you want, love."

[angeloroki]

something more — s. todoroki

you wanted to stop this relationship of friends with benefits, with shoto. before your feelings towards him destroyed you.

— character ; aged up!shoto todoroki x gn!reader

— request ; @tyunsworld angst college au where shoto and yn used to be friends with benefits but yn is trying to stol this fwb but shoto refuses (no smut pls just some indications)

— genre ; angst, au college

— warnings ; suggestive content, curses

— a/n ; i decided to change the ending a bit, i hope it's ok for you and that you like it anyway :)

you were sitting on your bed, in the room you shared with your roommate. she wasn't there, gone to her weekly dance class.

every thursday and tuesday, at 6pm until 8pm sharp. your friend was very punctual, and that suited you perfectly.

because usually, at that time, during those two short hours that you shoto would come and spend some time with you in that room.

it was never anything serious, just a good time that the two of you would give each other. kisses that were worthless, soft caresses yet devoid of feeling, sighs and i love you's that were deprived of love echoed and echoed between the walls of the university room.

it had started only 6 months ago, at a mutual friend's party. todoroki was the rich boy in business school. classy, elegant, handsome, and a smooth talker, he had absolutely every girl on campus at his feet.

so, you could say you were slightly surprised when you saw him accost you in the kitchen, where you were trying to relax a bit. you had hooked up, the discussion was not forced, one thing led to another - and especially under the effect of the euphoria felt at the very moment - you had ended up in bed together. you could remember that it was the best sex of your life. and yet you had had quite a few.

a bitter taste stuck in your mouth.

the day after that night, he had found your number and offered to continue. nothing serious of course, just something where you would both enjoy each other. no empty feelings. he had used a phrase,... friends with benefits, that's the term he had used.

stupidly, you didn't hesitate. because after all, you were young, and you needed to unwind with classes and all. and it's not like you could fall in love with a guy like that.

only you were so wrong.

you slowly came out of your thoughts to look at the time. 6:01 p.m. Your friend had gone out ten minutes ago, so Shoto should be back any minute.

a sigh escaped your lips at the scenario that was about to unfold.

and yet you were the only one to blame, or rather your stupid heart. or maybe your stupid ease of attachment to people who couldn't care less about you.

you lay down and stared at the ceiling.

you knew his weaknesses, what he liked to do on a sunday afternoon, the things that made him angry, just as you knew every inch of his body.

and how the fuck could you not fall in love with him?

a salty taste comes to your lips, tears. you bite your upper lip, silently. and yet you knew it wouldn't be mutual. and it never would be. because he was simply shoto todoroki.

« you spend a lot of time with that boy, what's his name again ? your roommate yells at you from the bathroom. is there something going on between you or something ? »

the heat came flooding in on your cheeks.

« no... no! it's just that we have mutual friends, that's all. »

« yeah sure ! but be careful though, he's known to break hearts this guy [..]. »

that talk you had three months ago echoed ironically in your head. breaking hearts. and yours, by the way.

you go over the plan in your head. before things get hot, you tell him. all at once, well almost all. you just tell him you want out of this relationship.

and so you say everything without pauses, at the risk of crying in front of him. the best thing is that you remain insensitive.

someone knocked on the door. 6:12 pm, he's here.

« y/n, it's me. » he said in his deep voice, which always made you shiver.

you got up and opened the door for him. a small smile lit up his usually stoic face. as you spent more time together, shoto had managed to get more and more comfortable with you, and that could only warm your heart.

« sorry for the delay, the traffic was heavy. »

he went to sit on your bed after taking off his shoes. a worried expression grew on his face when he saw that you said nothing.

« if you're tired, we can meet again next week. i know it's tiring with exams right now. » he said in a kind voice.

could he stop being an angel, just thirty seconds, you said to yourself silently. in just a few steps, you crossed the room and placed a long passionate kiss on his lips, and it was with great pleasure that you felt him respond with the same ardor. you had to feel it one more time before you put an end to this whole mess.

his lips tasted minty, and they were angelically sweet. addictive, that's what his kisses were like. you felt his tongue asking for permission to find yours. and for a few seconds, a feverish waltz settled between your two mouths.

you felt as if long hours had already passed. and you still wanted more to be added, or for time to stand still. but you wouldn't let him go.

and yet.

you shifted from him. he was a mess, his hair untidy from your hands that had to find a support, his face was a dark red.

a small laugh escaped his lips.

« what's this ? a goodbye kiss ? »

you looked away from him. and that's how he understood.

« what ? tell me something. »

« i want to stop this. I'm not interested in our evenings together anymore. »

you didn't need to see him to understand that he was sad now.

« did i do something wrong ? »

his hand came to yours, its warmth melting you.

« no, not at all. i just want to stop this. »

you knew him now, and you knew he'd try to figure out what the problem was. you just needed him to be angry with you, so your feelings for him, the first to be touched, could surely fade. at least you hoped so.

« it's gotten boring with you. you faced him, your gaze now cold. i've grown tired of you, so find someone else to satisfy you. »

his eyes reflected a melancholy that you had never seen in him before.

« y/n, i didn't stay 6 months with you just for sex... i like talking to you. »

your heart skipped a beat. of course, shoto, as a friend.

« that's not my case, todoroki. you were a good lay in bed, and you helped me forget the stress of college. but that's over now, get your shoes and get out. »

despite your command, he didn't make a move. his eyes analyzed you carefully, before his sigh echoed in the room.

« you found someone, didn't you ? you thought you could hear a little regret in his voice, but why ? sorry, i won't bother you anymore then. i'm happy for you. »

he got up and walked to the entrance, where his shoes were.

« i- no... »

how could he not see that you only had eyes for him ? that the other people who were just accosting you, were immediately raked ? a sincere anger went through your body now. you were angry at him now that he didn't notice your love for him.

« i love you. » you said in a quiet voice.

you saw him stop, his back was to you. fuck, that wasn't part of the plan.

« i don't want to see you anymore because i love you. because i know it will never be reciprocated. so please leave. »

he turned around just enough for you to meet his eyes, full of sorrow. a stranger might have thought it was you who had just broken his heart. or maybe you had really broken it ? you'll never know.

« no, y/n. i can try, we can try. it doesn't have to end like this. you're not like the others, i don't want to let you go. »

« i know you can't love me like i love you. don't make promises to me. »

« but i don't want to leave yo- »

the fact that he refused to leave you, to end the relationship, only gave you false hope.

« get the fuck out ! »

your sudden irritation startled him slightly. but he knew you were right.

« i-... i'm sorry y/n.- »

« stop apologizing, it's not your fault. »

« i wish it had ended differently. »

and silently he left your room, leaving you alone with your tears.

your old discussion with your roommate came back to you

« [...] he's known to break hearts this guy. but i have to admit that he's charming, anyway i care too much about my heart and my feelings to make love to him. » said your friend from the bathroom.

« i don't fall so easily, f/n. and stop it, you sound like my parents. you say laughing. »

i wish you would have told me i love you too, shoto todoroki.

[sidera-writes]

Back behind my house, there's a patch of ground you can't walk on, about ten feet across.

Just looking at it, there's nothing special about it. It's just a patch of bare ground, where nothing grows. Where leaves don't fall in the autumn, and where snow doesn't fall in the winters But if you stumbled across it on a clear day, you might walk right by it without even paying it any mind. Maybe even walk around it, on your way to somewhere else without even thinking why you didn't walk through the patch of woods where nothing grows, where branches don't fall into. Where you can't set walk.

Because something is already there.

I've spent hours, looking at the patch of ground from it's edge. Just. Looking. Not stepping forwards, never stepping forwards. Not even thinking about taking a single step forwards until I take a step back. Despite every cell in my body screaming to just take another step forwards, just like I've been doing my whole life, even the idea of putting one foot in front of the other vanishes as soon as I'm within a pace of that dry, cracked dirt, where it seems, even the though the sun shines everywhere else, even though I can clearly see how parched the soil is, see every grain and particle, it feels like the sun's light cannot reach it.

Something is there but I cannot remember what it is.

It keeps me up at night, sometimes it's all I can think about. Sometimes, months go by and I forget it exists completely, going about my day to day life, not a care in the world. But then, I feel a tug, a restlessness, not a need, just a feeling. To go into the woods, where I am once more confronted by the empty patch of ground that I cannot walk on.

It calls out to me when it grows lonely.

And every time I come back, after those short months, it's bigger. Not by much, a few inches maybe. Not something that would be noticed by someone who hasn't spent days thinking of nothing else, of the exact landmarks that demarcate it's boundary. Of trees and rocks that aren't there when I come back after a winter.

Why can't I remember it

The patch has gotten so big I can see it from my house. See the absence of trees where once the canopy was, see an outline of something that isn't there in the blizzard a few days ago. I walked over there, and the soft powdery snow is perfectly flat, except where the patch is. It's not bunched up in a snowdrift, like if there was a building there. There's just, a lack of snow. And dirt. There's definitely dirt.

There's no dirt there's no hole there's a lack of nothing an absence of absence and that absence has-

I tried a different tact of getting into the patch today. A rented a snowmobile, drove it out to the patch and tried to ride it over the edge. The engine died and stalled just as the nose was about to breach the border. There was enough snow piled up from the blizzard that it should have collapsed, sending us both into the patch but it held. I couldn't get it started again, so I left it where it was, to go take lunch and see if I could winch it back. It was gone when I came back. It gave me an idea.

It gave me a warning.

If I go right up to the edge, and wait long enough, it'll grow around me. And I'll finally feel that dirt under my boots. I should wait until summer, when the weather is better for standing around, but I can't risk forgetting about it, so I cleared out the local gas stations of hand warmers, put on my warmest gear, and packed my camp stove and three days of food. Water isn't an issue, another good reason to go now, while there's still snow in arms reach.

We talked, the Something and I. Talked until every star burned out in the sky.

I don't know who keeps writing in my journal. It can't be me I can't remember anything about what they say. The handwriting is the same as mine but it can't be me it is you stop it I didn't write that yes I did no I didn't there's something nothing out there it's just a fucking abyss patch of soil

Why don't I believe me

I need to get out of this house its too late I'll just go to my parents' house you don't even remember who they are of course I remember who they are then what do they look like.

Where do they live.

What are their names.

What is my name.

Oh God oh fuck what is my name where do I live this house is too big for just one person this bed is too big for just one person there's picture frames everywhere but no pictures I look in a mirror but I don't recognize the person staring back who is that who am I

Back behind my house, there's a patch of ground you can't walk on, about a hundred feet across...

[farfromsugafanfic]

Sutures - Chapter Nine: Lost In Japan

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): chest pain, health problems, getting lost

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

Previous | Series Masterlist | Next

When you landed in Japan, your phone was already blowing up with notifications. 

"Jang Sumi Seen With Min Yoongi's Bodyguard"

"Jang Sumi Joining BTS In Japan For Promotions"

The cameras already waited when you stepped into the airport. You were in the middle of the members, and instead of stopping for pictures like normal, bodyguards flanked in between the eight of you and the cameras. 

You felt as Yoongi reached down and softly took your hand. You looked back at him with a confused look and he just shrugged. 

"They all have their assumptions anyway," he said. "Just keep going. They'll try to get in our way, but just keep going. They won't bother you if you're with me."

You moved through the crowd with Yoongi's hand as your anchor. You heard the various fans gasping and screaming and the paparazzi asking questions and trying to provoke you and the members into a response, but before you knew it, you were in the back of a van and fastening your seatbelt. The satisfying click making you smile. You made it.

Yoongi was beside you. He still held your hand and you wondered if he noticed. His thumb rubbed lightly over your knuckles in a quick, sweeping motion. You didn't necessarily mind him holding your hand, it was just that there was no use for it now.

The van door shut as Jimin got in and plopped down beside you. A few seconds later, the van was moving.

"My phone blew up when we landed," you said. "Apparently, the bodyguard who helped me through the airport was your bodyguard?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, shrugging his shoulders. 

"What did you do then?" 

"Eh, we had plenty of bodyguards," he said. "Since we were in a group, it was unnecessary to have mine." 

"But, Yoongi, I know things have happened to you in airports before. You're an idol. You're a bigger risk." 

"Sumi, I lent him to you and something still happened," Yoongi said, his thumb brushing over your knuckles again, but slower this time.

"You really don't have to worry about us, Sumi," Jimin said. His eyes were closed and you'd honestly thought he was asleep. "We have enough bodyguards and we have Jungkook." Jimin kicked the back of the youngest's seat, who sat in front of him. 

You laughed and dropped the subject and instead gazed out the window at Tokyo. You'd only truly been to the city once when you were a kid, although you'd had many layovers in the Tokyo airport on your flight to and from the US. 

---  

"There's a problem with the hotel," Se-jin said, coming back out to the van. Most of the members were barely awake due to their busy schedules and how they'd gotten used to sleeping on most forms of transportation. "A fire sprinkler in Sumi's room burst and it flooded the whole room. The flooding is contained in her room due to the staff. Are you okay sharing a room, Sumi?"

You nodded. "Yeah," you said. "That's fine." 

"All right, does anyone--"

"I will!" All of the members shouted at once. You were amazed that despite their perceived states of sleep, they all appeared to be awake and fully listening. You laughed.

"She'll stay with me," Yoongi said. 

You turned to look at him surprised. "But, what about the rumors?"

"They know we're soulmates at this point. And, if you got caught staying with one of the other members, what do you think they would think?" 

Your brow furrowed. They already thought you had cheated on Minki with Yoongi, but if the media began circulating that you were cheating on Yoongi, you could only imagine the backlash you would receive. 

"Yeah, okay," you said. "I'll stay with Yoongi." Se-jin nodded and closed the van door as he went back into the hotel to finish checking in. 

"We've rented out the whole floor, so there should be no way anyone will find out," Yoongi said, giving you a small smile. 

"Then, why couldn't I stay with one of the other boys?" you asked, your lips curving into a smirk. 

Yoongi's ears turned red and he looked between you and the other members who watched in loving amusement.

"Just in case."

---

By the time you all got checked in and everything unloaded, the sun was beginning to set. You saw no point in unpacking your suitcase completely when you were only staying for four days. However, you unpacked your toiletries and headed to the bathroom. 

"Do you need to shower--?" you ask, but the words are left in the air as you notice Yoongi dropping the extra pillows and blankets from the closet onto the couch. "What are you doing?"

"Setting up my bed." He smoothed out the blankets and placed the pillow on one end of the couch. 

"You don't have to sleep on the couch. I trust you. It's not like we haven't shared a bed before."

"It's not that," Yoongi said. "I don't trust the urges. We've only had one, but I'm afraid if we lay together in bed. It would just trigger something." 

You nodded. "You're right. But, I'll sleep on the couch. This is your room." 

Yoongi shrugged and shook his head before falling back onto the couch and crossing his hands over his stomach. "Go take your shower." 

You sighed and went into the bathroom and took the shower you'd been long awaiting. Despite the coffee having been spilled on you hours before and changing into Yoongi's shirt, you could still feel the sticky cream-filled coffee on your skin. You undressed and folded Yoongi's shirt and placed it on the counter so that it wouldn't get wet and continued to undress. Only when you had finished did you realize that you'd forgotten to bring your pajamas with you. 

---

"Yoongi?" you asked, peeking your head out the bathroom. "Are you awake?"

Yoongi chose not to respond as you emerged from the bathroom in one of the hotel's white bathrobes. He didn't respond because he wanted you to strip in front of him, but rather, he was hoping to be asleep within a few minutes anyway.

As he heard you shuffle back towards the bed, he heard a small scuffle and you curse under your breath. He opened his eyes to see you standing by the bed as nothing happened. You unfastened the robe and allowed it to fall. 

Yoongi only caught a glance of your bare back before he shut his eyes again, although he felt a stirring in his stomach. He could only curse in his head as he attempted to focus on anything else. He didn't catch a glimpse of anything super sexual, but it didn't matter. Yoongi hoped this wouldn't lead to another urge. While he wanted nothing more than to pull you into him and kiss you up and down your body, he knew he couldn't for the sake of severing the soulmate bond. 

There were a few seconds of silence. He figured you'd finished getting dressed, but the light was still on and he hadn't heard you climb into the bed. He opened his eyes only to be met with a pillow to the face. 

"I knew you weren't asleep!" you said, holding the pillow above your head to bring back down upon him. Yoongi acted quickly and sat up and grabbed the pillow and tossed it to the side. 

You were dumbfounded for a second until you heard Yoongi laugh. "What was your plan exactly?"

You shrugged. "I don't know. I just wanted to prove you were being a creep." You wiggled your eyebrows as a smirk came over your face. 

"Hey! I didn't see anything. I kept my eyes closed."

"Mmm," you said. "I don't believe you." 

Before Yoongi could respond, a silence came over the two of you as you both simultaneously realized that you were straddling his lap and you could feel him pressing into you. 

"Sorry," he whispered as you climbed off of him. 

You shook your head. "No, it's okay. You didn't mean to. Let's, uh, let's go to bed."

"Wait, Sumi, what are your plans for tomorrow?"

"I just plan on going out and exploring a bit. I've never got to explore the city. Probably do some shopping, visit temples." Your eyes narrowed in curiosity. "Why?"

"I'll be working," he said. "Just make sure to get back here before me so we don't risk anything. I'm supposed to be done with the fan sign at five." 

You nodded. "You don't think being away from each other in general will cause anything?" 

It was only then that Yoongi realized that you hadn't been away from each other for nearly two weeks. While you might not be physically together, you were always within the same building or space. "I think it's been enough time." 

You nodded as you climbed under the covers of the bed and reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. Even in the dark, Yoongi could make out as you pulled the covers up to your chin and turned on your side. It made him smile. 

"Goodnight, Yoongi."

"Goodnight."

---

Your knees ached by midday, but your day alone in the city had been one of the best you'd had in years. You hadn't been truly alone for what felt like months. Sure, you slept alone and you could easily duck in the bathroom for five minutes of peace, but this was freedom you didn't think you'd have after the whole soulmate thing happened.

Yoongi was gone when you'd woke up that morning, the blanket tossed to one side of the couch. Not neat, but not exactly messy. It was odd, not feeling the aching in his chest when he was gone. You knew there were exceptions for when you were obligated to be apart, but since Yoongi worked so much, maybe it wouldn't be so horrible.

Your mind had still wandered to Yoongi throughout the day. Occasionally, you'd see a BTS ad campaign or someone wearing merch, but what really caught your attention was a small Kumamon figure. It was clearly meant to act as a paperweight or just to decorate a desk. You'd noticed that Yoongi seemed to like the character and after a quick Google search, it was confirmed. You bought the figure and tossed it into your purse.

With shopping bags in your hands and your camera in your hand, you managed to use your one free hand to pull out enough money to buy a taiyaki. You thanked the woman who handed it to you in your best rudimental Japanese. 

You were a few blocks away and halfway through your taiyaki when you thought to check the time. You nearly dropped the sweet bun when you realized it was 4:50 pm. Yoongi was due to be done in ten minutes and you were at least a half hour walk from the hotel--if not more. 

You rush out to the side of the road and attempt to hail a taxi. The first few passed you, but eventually one stopped and you frantically told the driver the name of the hotel. 

Within five minutes, the driver only managed to get a few blocks because of rush hour traffic. With nowhere to go, you were stranded. You'd gone the whole day without making a scene or being recognized (although maybe because you wore a baseball cap and mask), despite your face on the cover of magazine articles everywhere. And, you were afraid that you were going to have to end up on more of them to get out of this. 

You waited another five minutes before handing the driver a wad of cash that was definitely too much and apologizing as you got out of the cab. Carrying your bags and purse on your arm, you ran across the stopped lanes of traffic and tried to ignore the car horns and confused shouts. You checked the time. 5:01 pm. You ran and pulled up the GPS on your phone and entered the hotel address. 

Your vision blurred and you felt a small pull in your chest. It was warning you.

---

Something felt off as the van pulled up to the back door of the hotel. His palms begin to sweat and his heart beat against his chest as if he were sprinting. The door to the van opened and Yoongi didn't even remember it stopping or the rest of the members climbing out. 

"Yoongi?" one of the members called. 

Yoongi managed to his feet and out of the van but nearly collapsed against Jin, who grabbed him by the shoulder to stabilize him. He doesn't get far before he collapses against the wall of the hotel, his neck lulling back. 

"Yoongi, what's wrong?"

"Sumi...she must not be back yet..." 

Yoongi hears some talking and shuffling, but barely understands anything as two of the boys lift him up and inside the hotel. 

"They're going to look for her, Yoongi. It will be okay."

---

You'd made it a few more blocks, although you could barely tell. You were running, even though your vision was so blurred you could barely see. You used the buildings on the side as your guide and hoped you wouldn't bump into anyone. 

Your heart was beating out of your chest and you honestly couldn't tell if it was because of the running or that Yoongi was back at the hotel. You felt lightheaded and even with your headphones in you could barely hear the directions your GPS was telling you.

The edges of your vision begin going black and you feel your knees hit the pavement. This was it. You hoped a passerby would stop and at least call an ambulance. 

"Sumi!" someone a short distance away shouted.

You couldn't make out their faces, but you could see figures running through the crowd towards you. As you slumped against the nearest wall, you felt yourself being scooped up. 

"Sumi, Sumi, it's okay. We're not too far away. Come on, stay awake." 

You recognized Jungkook's face and allowed your face to fall against his T-shirt. It felt warm, but as you neared the hotel, your senses clearing a tiny bit, you realized it was a little too warm. You remembered back to the day before when you'd accidentally burned Tae's hand. 

"I-I'm sorry," you said. "It doesn't hurt does it?"

"It was just the T-shirt. Don't worry about it, Sumi."

His voice is soft and you can barely hear him over the commotion you're approaching. You can already hear the slew of photographers who are inside the lobby of the hotel and outside on the sidewalk. They haven't seemed to notice you yet, as their camera flashes and yells are aimed elsewhere.

"Jungkook! Jimin!" Se-jin called from the alleyway where he held open a service door normally only used for employees. While your vision had cleared, you still felt out of breath and your heart still convulsed in your chest. 

Jungkook ran towards the door and immediately into a service elevator. He didn't drop you back on your feet like you had expected him to. His arms were slung under your knees and around your shoulders. You wondered why you weren't burning his arms. Maybe because he wasn't touching your skin? Maybe the soulmate curse somehow recognized that he was helping you get closer to Yoongi? Whatever it was, you were thankful that beyond burning a small black hole in his T-shirt, you hadn't hurt him. 

The elevator dinged and Jungkook rushed you into your hotel room. Yoongi was already on the bed, a cloth on his forehead. He was sweaty, his shirt pulled up, exposing his stomach and his hair pushed back. 

Jungkook plopped you down on the bed beside Yoongi. Your breath evened out and your muscles relaxed, but the dull ache in your chest remained.

"Do you guys need anything?"

"Just some water." 

Jungkook went to the sink and filled a glass with water and set it on the bedside table beside you. "Just text or call one of us if you need anything." 

You nodded and Jungkook left the room. As soon as the door shut, Yoongi's arms around you and your face in his chest. His lips came to your forehead and you released a breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding.

"I lost track of time," you said. "I tried to take a taxi, but it was rush hour." 

"It's okay. It's not your fault. It was harder than we thought it would be." 

"Do you think we'll ever break it?" you asked. "If this was so difficult, if we can't even be apart due to a simple mistake, even if we were in love, how would we fix this?"

"I don't know. But, you should get some sleep."

"You too." 

You rested your head on Yoongi's shoulder, his arm slung around you comfortably, fitting perfectly against your waist and in the swell of your hips. It was the only place your body would allow you to be, but even if it was just the soulmate curse, even if you didn't love Yoongi, you knew there was no other place you wanted to be than his arms.

---

You fell asleep long before Yoongi did. Your small breaths tickling the skin on his neck and you were so still in his arms, only the way your chest moved slowly up and down indicated that you were still alive.

He'd never tell you, but he loved the way you looked when you slept. You scrunched your face up like a fussy baby and sometimes you'd make small moans in reactions to whatever happened in your dreams. 

It was nearly 1 am and Yoongi couldn't sleep. There were still pangs in his chest, but he wasn't sure if it was due to the earlier ordeal, or something else. He looked down at your sleeping form and carefully tucked stray hairs behind your ear. The ends of your hair were still a little damp with sweat, but he didn't care. 

You smiled at his touch and burrowed deeper into him. So deep, in fact, Yoongi wasn't sure you'd ever come out.

[animeyanderelover]

You added more prompts?! Wow! I'd like prompt 90 with Ronald please. If that's alright? I've never requested him before(if you don't count my request with all the Reapers) so I'm interested how it would turn out?!

I always wanted to write more about Ronald so I’m all up for this.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, manipulation, killing, blood, violence

Prompt 90: “Babe...! Shit! I’m sorry you had to see this, but please believe me! He deserved it! No,no,no, don’t be scared of me. You know I would never harm you.”

You had to have a bad nightmare. Yeah, that must be it. In reality you were right now laying in your bed and just had a bad dream. You just needed to wake up. That was all. You quickly pinched yourself in your arm, hoping to wake up like this. But you didn’t. The only thing you gained from it was a burning pain from where you had pinched yourself, staring almost hypnotized at the red mark that was slowly starting to rose on your skin. A mark that showed you that this wasn’t a dream. No. This was reality. The harsh and painful reality. Something that you didn’t want to accept. He had lied to you. He had lied all this time to you. You should have known that someone like him couldn’t be a human. He had been too nice, too friendly, too charming. Too good to be true. And you had fallen for that. Who wouldn’t have when a young and handsome man had been wooing someone like he had done with you? Ronald had always been there for you, even after you had suddenly somewhat became lonely. You didn’t know why suddenly all contact you used to have had been died out, but you had at least Ronald with you. Ronald had been always there for you. He had been your shoulder to cry on, had always given you enjoyable times and had always tried his hardest to make you laugh. You had sometimes felt like you didn’t deserve him. You had always thought of him as an angel who had appeared in your life to keep you safe.

But with blood soaking his clothes, hair and spectacles you had to overthink this because right now he looked everything, but angelic. He had killed that guy...He had killed that guy! Why? Why had he killed this man?! What had he ever done wrong?! You could only stand there, watch the scene in front of you displaying. How had you even gotten in this position? Why had you been here in the first place? You knew you had a reason and motivation for why you had decided to go that late that night out. But in that moment your mind was too messed up to think of that reason, being busy with sorting the thoughts that were whirling around in your head. You didn’t know what to do, not wanting to watch this anymore, but also not being able to move. You were rooted on the ground, watching Ronald and the still flowing out blood from the man. Ronald didn’t look like he had noticed you so far, just sighing annoyed and letting one of his hands run through his, now blood covered, blond strands of hair. “You’re honestly just a nuisance. Because of you I have to do more paperwork now. But you know what? I’m fine with that. If it means that you won’t be able to put your plan into action I’m willing to endure the pile of paperwork. Everything to protect my sweet (y/n) from scum like you.”

Your breath hitched slightly in your throat, feeling your heart picking it’s pace overwhelmingly fast up. He had killed for you?! No! You didn’t want this! You had never asked him to go that far for you! He could be sent into prison because of this! But then you remembered what you had just seen. You doubted that the police would be able to overpower him and this...tool of his. How could he look so perfectly fine whilst standing above a corpse which he had killed in the first place? He acted so cheerful. No signs of regret or guilt, giving you the terrifying thought that he might have done it a lot of times before. And he looked indeed like he had done it a lot of times before, making you flinch when he suddenly started whistling. How could he?! How could he be like this?! Your emotions were out of your control, you felt like they were bullets which hit you over and over again, making you somewhat dizzy and leading you to having a harder time to breathe. Everything in front of you started to become blurry, but only when you felt something wet trailing down your skin did you realize that it was due to your own tears. The many emotions inside of you caused your head to hurt and your heart to clench. You were angry, confused, heartbroken and sad, felt betrayed and disappointed at the man you had thought to be able to trust the most from all people. But that had been a lie. He was just like everyone else. But that didn’t mean that the knowledge of it still stung. You didn’t even notice when a guttural sound escaped your lips, not being able to hold it back.

It sounded strange, your whine echoing through the dark night, building a contrast to the silence that was crawling in it, making it stand out even more. And Ronald must have heard it as well because he suddenly tensed up, his whole body being alarmed by the sudden noise before quickly snapping his head around, eyes narrowed in suspicions. But the moment he layed eyes on you they widened in shock and surprise. “Babe...! Shit!” You flinched visibly when he called you by the nickname, one of the many he called you, you had used to always love. But now it didn’t cause the butterflies to erupt in your stomach like it used to always have. Instead it caused a sickening tingling somewhere deep down in your core, giving you the feeling of being able to throw up at any minute. The fact that you got a, oh so nice, look on the dead body didn’t make it better, watching all the blood still flowing out of his already dead body and noticing how his eyes had so far rolled back in his eyes that you only saw the white in his eyes. You had never taken Ronald for someone messy, but in this case it looked like he had lost himself a bit. You desperately tried to tear your gaze away from the corpse, but for some reason it stayed frozen on it, not being able to look away. You started trembling, suddenly feeling very cold. But not because of the chilly night air.

“I’m sorry you had to see this, but please believe me! He deserved it!” You didn’t even fully registered his panicked words nor did you register when he quickly stepped towards you. The only thing your brain was able to focus on was the dead man, your thoughts seemingly drowning in the dark red liquid surrounding his body. Your mind repeating the same sentence over and over again, seemingly the only thing you were able to think of right now. “Ronald killed him! Ronald killed him! Ronald killed him! Ronald killed him! Ronald kil-“ You were thrown out of your loop of anxious and shocked thoughts as well as your paralyzed state when you felt Ronald laying one of his hands on your shoulder. And your body responded the only way it would respond in every situation when a killer would touch you. Instantly jerking back and getting into a run-or-fight state. Every muscle in your body was strained, ready to be used to it’s full potential. You felt adrenaline starting to get pumped through your system, giving you a sudden boost of energy. But it also caused a boost in your emotions, letting you feel the fear inside of you even greater. You bit your bottom lip to prevent it from wobbling, but the way you always took a step back when he stepped forwards or just the look with was almost screaming I’m scared” told him only too clearly how you felt. And you instantly noticed the frown on his face upon seeing you being afraid of him.

“No,no,no, don’t be scared of me. You know I would never harm you.” There was a switch in his tone. Before it had been panicked and shocked. But now it had changed. It sounded almost like he was cooing at you, his voice sounding so sweet and charming that it made you feel even more ill than you felt already. It was the same tone he had always used when you had cried over something and he had tried to comfort you. And this tone had normally always been something that had made you fell better, but now it had the complete opposite effect. The scene of him looking all too much like his usual happy self appearing in your head when he had talked to the dead. He was two-faced. Who could tell if he wouldn’t kill you at any moment too? Ronald seemed to read your thoughts from your facial expression, trying his hardest to keep his composure. “(y/n), do you seriously think I would ever hurt you? Haven’t I proved my love to you countless times?” He sounded somewhat disappointed and hurt, making you stop in your tracks and look at him. His friend visibly deepened, twisting in a somewhat painful mask. And to your huge surprise you felt guilt sparking up inside of you, his actions pulling on your heart strings like he had intended too. He wasn’t completely wrong. For as long as you could remember Ronald had only been sweet and doting to you, always helping you with whatever you had needed. You really didn’t want to believe that he would hurt, or even worse, kill you.

But that didn’t help erasing that you had just seen him killing someone in a way no human could, raising two questions inside of you. Why had he killed that man? And what was he? You were still shaking like a leaf, but now you stood frozen on your place, not moving an inch. Not even as Ronald took slow and more cautious steps towards you, not wanting to risk you losing it and sprinting away from him. This situation had been already complicated enough as it was from the moment you had seen everything with your eyes. And if you should run away it would get even more difficult. And in all honesty, he would prefer it if he could have it the more easy way. Ronald wasn’t a person who liked making things more harder to deal with than they could be. So he silently hoped with every step he took closer to you that you wouldn’t have a change of mind in the last second. He only allowed himself to be a bit more relaxed when he stood right in front of you, placing both of his hands on your shoulder and letting a small sigh of relief out. You hadn’t done everything. That meant he hadn’t have to terrify you even more of him than he had already done.

You still didn’t have enough courage to look him into his face, letting your head hang low in an attempt to avoid his eyes. His face was still smeared with blood and having him so close to you caused the smell of blood to invade your sense of sense, making everything spin in your head for a few moments. That was until Ronald moved one of his hands under your chin and forced you to look up, right into his face. Your eyes instantly started darting around, refusing to see the sticky liquid splattered on his face and soaking his hair. That was until you heard him saying in a charming, yet also somewhat strict voice:”Look at me.” And you listened, the sweet tone he was using drawing you in, like it had always done. You knew that face he was giving you too well. The face filled with adoration for you, ready to charm you in whatever way possible to make you just as infatuated with him as he was with you. Back then you had found that cute, but now you realized how dangerous this was. The way he was able to make someone fall so hardly for him was a problem. The way he was gazing over you and causing a mix made of fear, but also warmth bubble up inside of you was dangerous. He was dangerous for you because he had the ability to make you addicted to him. And you knew if you wouldn’t do something now the already tight grip he had on you would only keep getting stronger until you wouldn’t be able to escape. But how could you run away from someone without leaving a part of yourself behind?

So against your own will, or at least part of your own will, you could slightly feel yourself relax after a minute or two in his grip. This made Ronald smile slightly, starting to feel better due to seeing that he still held some power over you. “I have a lot to explain to you, don’t I? Let’s just leave this place before someone sees us. I promise I’ll tell you everything once we get home. Alright?” You didn’t know whether to feel disgusted or not when hearing his gentle voice, luring you to him like he had done all the many times before. And just like in the past it worked this time as well. “O-okay.”