#and did 2 different animations. which both sucked. bc i didn’t animate before

[ocpdzim]

also drawing of myantha when she was younger in like the middle ages. she used to be friendlier. she’s having a 500 year long breakdown right now that’s why she’s like that

[m1ckeyb3rry]

SHSHS YOU SHOUDOVE TOLD ME ABOUT THE SHITTING TYPO LMAOAOA im crying if I hadn’t gone back to read the tl myself it would’ve just sat there un-addressed forever….I was even thinking of making a master note of all the TLs I’ve had so far just to organize imagine I just copy pasted that omg…maybe I should’ve slapped it into grammarly or some spell check before hand

But FR shidou actually hyping people up when he acknowledges vs Emo Rin…

No I completely get it it’s like when you start using like a cringe term ironically and then it just integrates itself into your vocab LMAOOO I know the feeling all too well…

OMGGG guys oaeu is fr happening….wait now I’m torn past me would’ve immediately slammed the Karasu button but after our convo im not sure??? Karasu for obv reasons but wait the otoya ideas we talked abt were way too entertaining and the Nagi double date and then also aiku being like “Barou needs bitches” GUYS decisions…………………….and how could I forget our yuki prince aiku discussion too omfg

REAL lowk I see a lot of nagi hate nowadays?? Mostly the people going “haha nagi fraud” or “nagi u suck apologize to Reo rn” so errrrr I’m gonna need kaneshiro to show us the matches of other stratums pls im lowk sick of Isagi’s face I NEED to know what goes on in scenes Isagi isn’t in pls im begging (channel ur inner kaneshiro and save us please)

I’m ngl I was pretty caught up but I don’t remember anything about his backstory LMAOO based on his character im sure you’re right tho

Also WAITTT I ALMOST FORGOT ABT YUN I love him he was so cute but chigiri as yun so real….I could’ve sworn he also had a moment where people were like “you’re a dude???” Which kinda aligns with the whole chigiri “princess” thing LOL

Wait that’s actually lowk such a smart way to decide HAHAHAH lmk how the results of that go….ive seen a bunch of matchup events floating around too I hadn’t realized how popular they were

I’m not even kidding it’s a little scary how accurate your kiyora feels…like in your previous response you were like “I think I got it somewhat right?” and I went in reading it expecting it to be maybe a little off maybe more violent since that’s what you described it as and then I proceeded to read and it was just canon kiyora. Witchcraft. Kaneshiro is actually invading your brain telling you what to do.

Kiyora being kinda shy and showing his crush a more private, somewhat vulnerable side to him>>>> he’s lowk cuter than I originally thought is this a conversion moment….ill hold onto this sentiment LMAO kiyoranese has me laughing so hard I lowk see the instrument vibes but I’m ngl I think I prefer this one over the instrument…maybe also because I don’t like Kaiser as much HAHA both are so good though….

THATS ACTUALLY TERRIFYING I’m glad you both are safe bc wtf..maybe you should invest in a bottle of pepper spray jic SHEGAJ

LMAOO is the one who mouthed sorry also the one you turned down with an excuse or is this a different person (if it’s different you really have some crazy rizz aura because that was really quick work) ok but no violence is good I was reading that thinking like “wait how much of this is non fiction……”

Checking off another Mira banger off the list…excited for whatever’s next and also the oaeu….

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO no it was funny and i didn’t want to embarrass you plus i kinda forgot it once i started typing so i did not say anything i’m sorry 😩 next time i will though

YESSSS OAEU IS HAPPENING literally so hype it’s going to be so much fun plus season 2 starts soon so it’s like the perfect time to be working on it because the anime onlies are going to get into tabieitaken and aiku which is perf 🤩 LMAOO i’ve fed enough karasu content that the world is no longer starving so it’s more like bonus atp 😏 HAHA funnily enough reo was winning the poll for a WHILE there but now karasu’s in the lead again 😭 it might just be an audience bias thing though because there’s no way if you get random people from the fandom to vote they would pick karasu over sae nagi AND reo 😰 we’ll see there’s still a bit of time before the poll ends so the winner def isn’t locked in yet!! i think reo is second place atm (possibly tied w sae) and karasu is winning w barou in third but who knows how it will all play out

EVERYONE SWITCHED UP ON NAGI SOOOO FAST it’s like they all forgot who carried isagi in the second selection 😱 truly there would be no bllk if nagi wasn’t there to score 90% of team white’s goals 😭 and he was also the first to score on the u20s like i need everyone to put respect back on my man’s name 😒 he’s going to comeback TRUST and when he does everyone will start glazing again but i’ll know…i’ll remember 🙂‍↕️

YESS i distinctly remember yun being mistaken for a girl and being called pretty (he also calls himself pretty a lot iirc) so it’s literally perfect for chigiri!! maybe i have a type in the kind of media i like watching or smth the parallels are kinda going crazy

yeahhh they are surprisingly popular!! i haven’t done a ton before (one of my old mutuals did them so i think i did a jjk one and got noritoshi + choso + yuta so basically i’m pomegranate ink y/n 🤩) but i think it will be fun to see for like curiosity’s sake yk plus it might make me more decisive on who/what to write for…or not LMAO imagine i get shidou bruh i’d be at a loss for words (i don’t THINK i will but the chances are never 0 yk)

LMAOOOO that’s so good to hear i was worried i made him too extreme especially because when i answered you it had been a bit since i had finished so like the most memorable parts to me were him getting in the fight and him talking abt how he beat up the mayor’s son but i forgot he’s pretty chill for the most part in the fic!!

HAHA omg kiyoraism incoming…idt he’ll ever break into my top three (nagi karasu barou the it girls of the miraverse fr) but he’s def growing on me honestly he’s rlly sweet in his own way 🥹 no i def feel that because neither of us have ever been into kaiser + w the instrument it’s almost a less relatable story?? since the reader is a famous actress instead of a regular person…plus kaiser is the opposite of kiyora he seems chill and sweet on the outside but on the inside he’s a little off putting whereas kiyora is ready to smack a bitch on the outside but on the inside he’s just a cutie who gives people grape candy if he likes them and the latter is def a trope that i think we both enjoy more LMAOAAO

IT WAS SCARY and okay so there were actually three guys that night — the one who said sorry (he only half counts though ig because it was dubious whether we were being friendly or if he liked my best friend or me), the one who i rejected by saying i was too drunk, and the one who slid into my linkedin dms 😭😭😭 the rizz aura is a little crazy to be honest like just today i was at the library to print out my resume and a guy asked for my instagram (also was not into him alas but i did give him the insta because why not) bruh it sounds like i’m making it all up or smth but trust it’s 100% real…i’m only chronically online on the inside externally i look normal enough to be approachable ig 😩💔 HELP IF THERE WAS AN ACTUAL FIGHT I WOULD’VE CRIED luckily he just yelled at us a ton but i did use some direct quotes and paraphrases from him to really liven up the story FJFHSJSJ

ANOTHER BANGER DONE now i need to figure out which req i want to be inspired for next and get to work so we can get to the oaeu 🤩 not counting yours i have 5 left to do so hopefully i can get them out quickly!! two hiori ones, two karasu ones, and a nagi req 🤩 plus the ones you sent in ofc and then i got a req last night also for nagi but they missed the cutoff so i’ll work on that post oaeu

[meimae]

Look at me, not being on time for my April Immersion Overview as is the usual. (・w・;

First, little blog updates to get out of the way:

I reached 100 followers! Got an influx of people checking out my 1 year update post, and got plenty of nice compliments on my data collection.

For those of you wondering just why I keep up with so much data, it's mostly because it can get really hard to notice how much you're improving in a language especially with something like immersion learning that for people who don't get it feels like a waste of time or a time sink.

Graphs showing consistency, improvement in reading speed, increasing vocabulary counts, and generally just seeing numbers grow turns language learning more fun and motivating for me, and if as a bonus, it encourages someone to try immersion learning then that would be cool!

With that said, whether you're here as a fellow language learner, graphs enthusiast (笑), or just want some Japanese media recommendations, ようこそ! 

Also, made a tiny DP change - it’s チト from 少女週末旅行. Pretty sure it’s the first manga series I ever finished in Japanese (not the first one I started since ちはやふる is still ongoing), and I always felt a bit of a ☆connection☆ with  her - between her book-loving personality and being a no-nonsense kind of person, there was no way for me not to enjoy her character. Great beginner anime/manga if you’re not into most beginner recommendations.

-☆-

April has been a pretty good immersion month, as I was able to dip my toes in a variety of media. A bit competitive, too! The club I joined has been pulling all the stops to get to the Top 20 Immersion Leaderboard in it’s first month. I was able to snag the 9th spot among a bunch of people of different comprehension levels (the majority being N1+ since they’re able to comprehend much more and in turn stand longer immersion hours). Lots of tiny complaints though of potential “whitenoising” content (”listening” and “reading” but not comprehending very well just to get a large number to post), but really what can you do? People lie all the time on the internet. Besides, it’s internet points that doesn’t do anything beyond being a little shiny I guess.

Enough about that, let’s get into the nitty-gritty details you came here for!

ANIME

フルーツバスケット

Might need to rewatch this one. Felt like I didn’t connect with the characters the way the rest of its fandom has. I’m kinda sad about it, since I normally love Slice of Life and Fantasy, and I know this is one of my friend’s diehard shows.

ラブライブ! School Idol Project S2

A filler anime to watch tbh. Nice and easy enough to follow for beginners. Pretty good songs. With regards to it being a show about music and moe, I still 100% prefer K-On! if I’m going to be honest, but for a show about non-toxic idols, it’s good!

魔法少女まどか☆マギカ

First read this as English translated manga when I was 13 or something. Mistakes were made. Let’s all just agree to throw キュウベえ into a pit of fire and never talk about it again. Great ending and a show that really reworked the magical girl genre. But seriously, I was traumatized by マミ’s death then and now, help.

四月は君の嘘

Already knew what was going to happen even before watching this so I didn’t ugly cry like I was expecting. Still got that awful sinking feeling though. 10/10 would recommend for a good cry. Also, I’m planning to read the manga, might enjoy that more, because I’ve always liked it more than anime actually. *shocked pikachu face*

ホリミヤ

Watched before I even finished the manga which felt like a mistake at first until I realized that it perfectly stops where I stopped reading. Nice and comfy anime, the kind I would have loved as a teen. Fun animation too, making parts very dramatic even though it wasn’t really that deep of an issue even in the manga. Just teens feeling feelings. Still salty that we lose bad boy styled 宮村, but I get why it had to happen.

AUDIOBOOKS

氷菓

Second re-listen. I understand it fine, but it’s very easy to drift off when you can’t catch all the words so I had to replay often. Will have to mine more from the anime/book.

君の名は

I mined from the anime, and was really pleased to be able to follow all 6 hours of this audiobook perfectly fine. Will need to read the book, because I realized just how seamless reading it would be after listening to it with hardly any issue.

BOOKS

キッチェン

Completed! Read my thoughts about it and see my stats on this post.

君の膵臓を食べたい

Still trudging on with this one. It’s not a bad story, it’s pretty well written actually, I just made the mistake of watching both the anime and live adaptation first, so I know exactly what’s going to happen and it’s killing my motivation to keep reading. I guess reading the book first before watching the movie still applies in any language with me. Really need to 頑張れ and finish so I can move on. 

三日間の幸福

Started reading towards the end of the month, mostly because I realized that every chapter is only 5000-15000 characters long, and I was able to read up to 40k in a day with Island most days. Only two chapters read so far though because I got distracted by manga, but it’s shaping up to be a really good plot and potentially a really sad one, too, so I’m interested.

DRAMA

花ざかりの君たちへ イケメンパラダイス

Heard this was a classic so I gave it a try. Loved 生田 斗真’s character in this one the most especially all his internal dialogue acted out. Also, 小栗 旬 in anything is bound to be a good watch. Simple and fun watch. They dragged the ending so much though lmao 

ごくせん

Look, I see 松本 潤, I click. Definitely the kind of show you should watch for some great life advice. Planning to watch the 2nd and 3rd seasons even if there is a terrible lack of 松本 潤, because I love my strong female protagonists, and man, ヤンクミ is such a great character. Need to read the manga, too, if I can find it.

極主夫道

Oof, this was kind of hard. The yakuza talk was throwing me off, but the rest of it was enjoyable. Not really plot heavy as I thought it was going to be. The comedy side of it was fun and predictable after the first few episodes. Overall, pretty good slice of life, family story with a twist.

MANGA

Read a bunch of manga this month, mostly because I am struggling to find the next vn to read.

おやすみプンプン

Read a couple of volumes (6-7). This manga is so good, but it’s so depressing I need to stop to take a breather every once in a while. Please don’t leave any spoilers. The club has been reacting to me reading this, and it has mostly been a lot of crying emotes. It’s both been enjoyable to see and really worrying. 笑

チェンソーマン

Club recommendation. Only read the 1st volume so far. I really need to get into more 少年 anime/manga. That’s currently my 苦手 genre which is awful because literally all the top anime/manga is 少年 help. I just can’t enjoy it much still even though it’s comprehensible to me.

ちはやふる 中学生編

Read Vol. 1, chill read to me at this point after reading 45 volumes of the regular manga. Look, it’s my favorite 幼馴染 manga in baby format, of course I’m going to read this! 太一 has been a flake way before season 3 confirmed. Don’t come at me たいちはや stans bc I also like his character.

約束のネバーランド

Volume 7. I’m taking my sweet time with this one, because I heard the anime for season 2 sucked, so I’m avoiding it like the plague. This is 少年 how am I enjoying this and not everything else what.

ヲタクに恋は難しい

Enjoyed the anime hated the movie why did they make it a musical that sucked (ps i normally love musicals hated this one) 

The オタク jargon is kinda hard to read suprisingly but I do enjoy this ship very much. It’s a lighthearted take to otaku culture which is great because seriously it’s scary out there.

ツバサ -RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE-

It’s my childhood ship, obviously I will read this again (read in English several years ago). Still as plot twisty as I remember it being (now at a bonus hard level reading it in Japanese 笑). Really enjoyed reading this one (I finished it this May).

-☆-

I’m starting to really dislike furigana in manga. It was a great help as a beginner, but now it’s like training wheels that you can’t take off. I feel like the gains I’m getting from manga is much lower than it was when I first started which makes me both proud of how far I’ve come, but also sad because I love manga. Sad that I might have to start choose VNs over it, because it’s not going to challenge me as much going forward. I mean it didn’t stop me from reading a lot of it this month, but you get the picture.

VISUAL NOVELS

ISLAND

Completed! See my stats and read my long spoiler filled post here.

ファタモルガーナの館

Picked up this VN and finished two doors (15 hours) before stopping. On the fence about it, because it has been kind of predictable so far, and I don’t particularly enjoy the horror genre. That said, this is more psychological than anything, so it’s probably not that that’s putting me off. The language is not exactly difficult, too - maybe some oddly specific words because it is after all historical fiction (which is one of my favorite genres, btw), and 敬語 is definitely interesting to read for once after encountering so many お嬢様 characters in anime/drama so far. 

I think maybe it’s the conversations that are kind of dull - dots (silence) every few clicks that keeps breaking the flow of reading. Probably judging it really harshly too early, because it’s rated so high everywhere, and I just have high expectations. Definitely not dropping it yet though, just taking a break and testing a couple of other VNs before I settle with whatever I end up choosing. It is, after all, going to be another 50+ hour read, and I just don’t want to not enjoy the process, because having fun with the process is a huge part of immersion learning.

Let me know if you’ve read Fata and if I should continue! 

-☆-

That’s it for this month!

If you have any suggestions on what to watch and read next, please send me a reply, especially for VNs because I’m struggling over here.

[stray-tori]

TPN S2 Appreciation

I remembered I started this so here we are: there's a lot of problems with s2 but you've probably heard everyone talk about them anyway so I'm skipping that and going straight to all the stuff I DID like about s2:

opening

episode 1

(episode 1) seeing them interact with the environment

(episode 1) Ray running + being out of breath animation and voice acting

episode 2

(episode 2) especially the parallel with the drop like holy shit

episode 3

(episode 3) the fish bug scene while maybe out-of-place is pretty cute and funny

(episode 3) the wall scare is pretty ominous and as of ep3, not yet stupid.

the **OPENING**

(episode 4)

(episode 5) the shot of the apple rolling and the camera turning over with it. so cool.

(episode 4) Ray shooting the demon animation cut even though Emma was robbed

(episode 4) Chris knowing the bunker tunnels after we saw him playing there with other children is really nice. Especially knowing that in the manga he's sad he can't explore properly, I think it's a nice in-character touch haha.

(episode 5) masked Norman with blood splattering behind him

Myuk Mahou cover art makes them look so cuteeeee

portraying the two worlds in parallel from the OP to wanting to care and save your family

the opening making me cry every time

cup-kun memes

(episode 3) them entering the bunker being so fecking tense and suspenseful, like i was expecting a corpse the entire time pff-

(episode 5) ray and emma using hand signals during the rooftop chase

(episode 5) the natural in-convo reveal about how they hide their scent by Lani/Thoma

(epsiode 5) the detail that they throw it in the fire to spread the masking scent when the old demon gets there

(episode 5) the old demon scene (listen ik people questioned this, but it's an old weak demon... I kind of see it like helping out a weak strong animal. I doubt this old geezer would have jumped Emma; it could reveal their location, that's true, but oh well - it’s implied he met them more often before so maybe Emma just slowly considered over time / maybe her realizing they’re not that different and all that yadayada)

(episode 5) Emma doubting herself because they've literally just been chased around (ik some people didn't like this and I get why but they've been barely surviving for like 11 months... she's lost and paralyzed, she's allowed to have her doubts, though they could be worded a bit differently. It just sucks that there wasn’t much of an arc regarding this after that, so. Yay Norman Christ has rescued us all.)

(episode 6) the reunion hug / scene, it looked so soft and nice ahhh- the entire art in that scene was just nice.

(episode 6) the atmosphere and framing of when Barbara was eating the demon meat. it came pretty unexpected and the moment you realize was such a big “ohhh… oh no.“

(episode 7) Lani and Thoma mentioning the migrating birds during their tower watch and that then later coming back when the kids think about where they could be was nice!

(episode 7) Norman’s soft “be careful” to Emma and Ray

(episode 7) Also Ray's reaction to "the gate is in gf" is just a mood haha

(episode 7) THE SHIPMENT PARALLELS! the sounds, grabbing his hand this time when he had to take hers during his shipment AHHH-

(episode 7) evolvment of the “dont do it on your own / involve your family/friends” by asking Gilda and Don to come with them on the search for Sonju/Mujika. Sadly this doesn’t carry over to ep11 where they decide to do sth as drastic as staying behind for god-knows-how-long without letting anyone know beforehand.

(episode 7) like their reactions to it are so wholesome, I really like how it is portrayed. Especially because up until now Emma was still bottling up. Idk I like that it takes a while for this to really settle in properly.

episode 8

(episode 8) “are you god?” / “I’ll be a god or a devil” / “are you a human?”

(episode 8) showing the demon suffering pretty graphically for what I expected

(episode 8) the simple fact that I got the experience of pure euphoria and a laughing attack when the parallel between Vylk and Norman was actually a thing, when I was so confused why they both had a distinct characteristic (the walking stick) in episode 5. My friends thought I was crazy but I was just big brain. (we were robbed of more stick though)

(episode 8) norman hand symbolism, with blood, Emma grabbing it, him looking at it and how it ties Emma to his plan inherently and then when it's not his blood on his hands but someone's that he's taking away from another living being.

(episode 9) the unspoken realization that he’s not the only one being tested by the test scanner was on the right-hand side. good shit. Ik thats technically not the anime’s idea but I like how they put the focus on it with blur and didn’t actively state it.

(episode 9) him coughing up blood to show how fast it’s been progressing/getting worse // though that implies he refused to take his meds OR that its that bad even with the meds which I don’t think is the point. Like the psychological warfare of giving the kids a condition that they can only fight while they’re in their prison bc they’ll run out of meds is just. hHHH

(episode 9) I really liked Norman going to talk to Vylk and… hhh- Emma *AHEM* and how he didn’t really know what to say, and .........… E-EmMa going up to him and apologizing for what demons did, showing empathy and understanding AND ABSOLUTING WRECKING NORMAN and me. man, cycle of hatred bad.

(episode 10) Emma speaking over the radio to everyone is just… so heartfelt ahh

(episode 10) The little kids sneaking amongst the others is rly cute and honestly kind of epic haha

(episode 10) the moms/sisters either not noticing them or not doing anything bc they’re on their side anyway is just… a funny thing to think about either way

(episode 10) Phil and Emma hug TvT

(episode 10/11) MICHELLEEEEEEE

(episode 11) the turning ceiling is pretty

(episode 11) I like the shadow asthetic of the Ratri exposition, generally the Ratri exposition is pretty nice aside from being so fast you cannot take all that in and process it properly

(episode 11) dramatic gate closing is dramatic

(episode 11) the slideshow of them in the human world gives nice glimpses into things, even if… very vague haha. Especially the shot of Isabella playing guitar stuck with me. And Phil on a train! Not a steam one, sadly.

(episode 11) while the demon world slideshow is uhhhhh SOMETHING, I do like that the weird dragon-on-water thing is in both the Ratri exposition during the promise thing and then also at the end, which at least gives A BIT of context to what's likely happening. Idk I liked that, but then again my standards aren't very high.

I'm not saying any of this outweighs the problems bc oh boy, but ye.

[mnogorgannik]

2 10 n 11 :)

this is basically an essay im so sorry. watch how hard i can infodump (ill put this under a cut hopefully it works bc sometimes tumblr decimates the keep reading things if theyre in asks)

2. Who’s your favorite of the Bound? What do you think of the different ideologies they have? Which of the factions are you most aligned with?

WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I AM A PETER LOVER THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!!!! oh baby i love that morally questionable architect. pretty early on in getting into pathologic (it’s coming up on a year now...) i thought about peter stamatin too hard and now i’m here. but really i find him to be such a fascinating character!

the thing about pathologic that i love is how almost every character can be as complex as you want. pathologic does an excellent job of implying a lot of character traits while only exploring some in further detail, which in some games is frustrating but patho does it so well! it consistently hints at traits and lets you fill in the details yourself. peter’s character is extremely interesting to me... and maybe a little more relatable at times than i want to admit lol.

i think i’ll talk about both stamatins though! their dynamic hurts me a lot. i’ll start with andrey bc i’ve been thinking about him lately. although i’ll bounce back and forth between both stamatins.

i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again.... andrey’s role as a protector who inadvertently hurts the people he cares about really gets to me. he is not a shield but, in his own words, a battering ram. and the problem is that battering ram has a recoil.

i have to wonder how that mentality of his came about, anyways. the implication is that it’s always just been him and peter, so did he take on that role because there wasn’t anyone else to do it?

in his efforts to protect peter from... military, i believe, he kills four people. which leads to daniil getting mistaken for andrey, which leads to daniil getting shot. and almost dying. he protects peter but to a smothering extent, peter even says he’s been suffering for ten years bc of andrey which is a LOADED line. he protects on a physical level but he kinda fucks up on the emotional.

there’s a horrible irony in peter and eva being the people he cares about the most and both attempting suicide. with eva once she’s missing he immediately goes running off trying to look for her, and . ahh i can’t remember right off hand what exactly he thought happened. but ik he was probably expecting a fight. with peter he says that after that he’ll never let peter leave his side, at least “as far as his knife can fly”... it sounds cheesy but the one thing he can’t save anyone from is themself.

and god the way andrey bases his ENTIRE sense of self worth on peter fucking hurts. they’re not peter and andrey, the architects. they’re Peter And Andrey, The Architect. (thinking about “one architect, two brothers” here.) andrey thinks he’s larger than life and all but he’s constantly living in peter’s shadow. their theatre of death positions come to mind here, with peter standing up, looking down at andrey. but andrey is on his knees in front of peter, arms limp to his sides.... separated by a wooden beam...

peter’s side of this dynamic is fascinating too. his dependency on andrey is. ow. leaving all practical matters and decision making to him... there’s this resentment (That’s Fine I’ve Been Suffering For Ten Years Because Of Him) and lack of communication that especially shows through for him.

while in p2 andrey completely crumbles if peter dies, peter doesn’t seem to care...... at all....?? which hopefully is elaborated upon in p2. he’s willing to talk to aspity about worrying if andrey is angry with him but he can’t bring it up with andrey himself. when he asks how andrey is doing he stops and says andrey is a “tough man” and can handle anything. in general, while it’s definitely there for andrey, themes of dependency are really glaringly obvious for peter.

one of my favorite peter things i’ve talked about before is still his ego!!! peter has a gigantic ego!!! he really does think that even though he’s hit the ceiling and can’t go any further he is still “a true architect” and “the rock upon which is built the stairway to tomorrow”. he has a blunt edge to him and he doesn’t ever tell you more than he thinks he needs to which i love. if he doesn’t want to tell you something he isn’t gonna do it. this is a character trait i think ppl miss which is sad because it’s so good and adds another layer of depth to him!

it really does hurt me how he’s valued for his mind alone (AHEM AHEM AHEM. GEORGIY) but it’s the thing nobody understands about him. i’m nowhere near as smart as peter lol but i do know that pain of feeling like none of your ideas can be understood because you just can’t express them the way you’d like, and then feeling like you’ll never be able to make it happen.

also, here’s a little thing  i’ve picked up on. this connection probably doesn’t exist but i’m making it because the stamatins make me lose my mind and start becoming one of those people who looks for connections in everything i guess. peter standing in the theatre of death, andrey below him. peter’s loft being at a high point in the town, the broken heart being underground. peter’s loft is also higher north on the map but the broken heart is lower south. just smth interesting

i have more thoughts on them of course! but this is all getting awfully long. i feel like i’ve only just gotten to the tip of the iceberg  even though i’ve written so much skfjskfjs this just feels quite surface level or. at least what is surface level for me who thinks about the stamatins so hard.

anyways i’ll keep my answers to the other two parts of this question quick! peter and andrey’s more creative vs practical mindsets are rly neat. especially because i would actually argue peter is a little more grounded in reality in certain aspects. not all, but certain ones...... their take on the utopian ideology is interesting. hot take: peter’s version of utopianism leans a tad towards humility. and andrey /does/ feel “straightforward utopian” but i think in certain regards? this man has a bit of a termite streak..... (hi al if you’re reading this). but i won’t get into that right now i’ve already gone on so long. saving that for later.

i think all of the factions kinda suck in their own way sometimes, honestly? although all of them are well written and have their pros and cons. were i in pathologic and i had to choose one i’d probably be a termite but everyone around me seems to think i’m a utopian. is it bc i love peter so much

10. What would you be like as a Pathologic character?

this question is a hard one! i did make a self insert once, mile-a-minute, but they’ve become their own oc by now. i think i’d be very...... very afraid...... probably isolating myself why does every pathologic character break quarantine???? also you could trade beetles with me :) thats about all i’ve got sorry this is real short

11. What is something you would change, writing-wise, about either game?

UGH i’ve been gushing about pathologic because. obviously i love this game so much. but the way it handles racism & such (in both games!) leaves much to be desired :/

i see a lot of the points it’s trying to make but i think the way they’re handled can be very messy. there are moments that work very well but. a lot that don’t. (i am aware that dybowski writes partially from his own experiences)

all too often the game “validates” the kin’s oppression and... at times paints them as oddly antagonistic? i don’t like how often as artemy you’re able to be like “i’m not one of those beasts” and i think there are better ways to touch on his internalized racism. in general the constant comparisons to animals is weird. you get big vlad who is obviously explicitly racist comparing them to animals, but then sometimes it’s like “ACTUALLY calling them animals is fine :)”

i think the herb brides are kind of. Hm. in their portrayal. also using parts of the buryat alphabet to denote an accent is weird. making odongh and herb brides inhuman is weird. connecting the kin to Magic is weird.

and, listen, i’d really like to not be playing Artemy Burakh Experiences a Microaggression Simulator every time i’m playing the haruspex route. hate that you either can’t call ppl out on their shit or if you can it ends the conversation/bars you from getting necessary information. glad you at least get to drag the vlads, i guess?

i also was talking about this but wrt peter specifically, and this issue is present throughout the game but it’s especially visible with peter, i don’t like how often you can mock him for his addiction.

he’s obviously in an extremely rough patch! being able to be just so plain cruel to him about the dependency on alcohol (and iirc in p1 hallucinogens, bc aglaya mentions it) he’s formed to cope with his mental illness & trauma just feels bad. especially because yes it is not a healthy coping mechanism at all but... it still is a coping mechanism, if that makes sense?

the way you’re able to constantly rub it in his face feels awful. peter is fully aware that it isn’t good for him and shows a desire to quit. even if he didn’t it would still be awful to say because. it’s just insensitive. like you don’t just go up to someone and keep being like HEY YOU DRINK A LOT YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WATER IS? feels really bad to keep harping on something that causes him pain and that he struggles with every single day.

however peter does have moments where he tells you Not to say that, or if you pry into why he drinks he’ll outright say he doesn’t remember you being his friend, which is better than nothing.

in p1 moreso than p2 i hate how you can be like oh he’s craaaazy he’s off his rocker he’s delusional!!!! that “why, i never... an architect of schizophrenia!” comment sticks in my mind because it’s just... so genuinely mean. especially because if i remember correctly that line is from when he’s planning on LITERALLY FUCKING BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

i think if they were going to have all of this they should have gone more in depth on how it’s really. not good that he’s treated so poorly. and i do believe that’s what they were going for, a la the art book w/ the whole “not to be made into a drunken clown, this is a tragic character”, etc. but it just doesn’t land. i’m holding out for the bachelor and changeling routes in p2 to see if they expand upon any of it but i highly doubt i’ll be satisfied in this regard.

i stand by the One time it was really fucking funny to clown on peter being the time you can tell him little girls eat raspberries and earthworms and he just believes you

[rantheon]

hypmic: thoughts

as of 25/3/2020 (i have not updated this since then but my feelings are roughly still the same)

might as well get this out of the way since matenrou’s album is out. half to prepare for the 2nd drb, half to organize my thoughts from 1.5 years in the making

that said, i talk about everything that comes to mind so this is just gonna be a dump of random thoughts :>

no it’s really long

aight so

the main part of hypmic is the music, which is pretty good, all things considering. each division has their own style of music, and each character, their style of rapping. this makes for some really fun and sick combos during the rap battles

i’m really floored by the seiyuus, they’re really trying hard and doing a great job

it’s also really nice that they bring in different composers? and no two songs sound too much alike or similar? it’s just a lot of effort put into the music and i’m all for it

hoodstar is my fav all-stars song. it’s so funky and fun? i could listen to it forever

ngl survival of the illest is a close second. i was not expecting to like it so much

plot… exists. that’s really all i can say about it-

listen. i’ll give them A for effort. i appreciate what they’re trying to do, continuing a linear storyline through the drama tracks and revealing bits of backstory in the manga. TDD era was lit af and the whole chuuoku endgoal + all the character interactions and revelations is pretty interesting

it’s just… predictable? like, very predictable? so much that it gets boring and old really quick? at least throw us a curveball, kr

there’s also the issue about how canon stuff are in exclusive (limited) drama tracks that can be difficult to get but that’s just Marketing so whatever, let’s move on

maybe they’ll drop some extra lore in the arb game, we’ll see

oh right, alternate rap battle

pretty cool game i guess? i was really only interested to try out the rhythm game, which i did, and it kinda... sucks. or well, it’s not bad but it’s not a contender against games like cytus, lanota, voez, etc. the beatmap’s a bit off and weird? i’ll just SS each song before i quit ahaha

but if you’re interested in more hypmic boys.png & a more casual rhythm game then go for it

here’s a (kind of) hot take: there’s so much content released that it all feels. saturated

i do love and appreciate the new content! but it’s just... a lot

i mean, you got new albums, manga, hypmic radio, stage plays, the arb game, the anime that’s supposedly out this year- and all of this within the span of about a year? it kinda feels like they’re riding on the popularity to just. try everything

good for them though, more Marketing strategies

mad respect to anyone who managed to stay sane for the past 6 months

i mean it’s not necessary to keep up with everything but with how active the fandom is, it can feel pressuring. especially when everyone’s screaming or yelling about angst or whatever

on that note, hot take #2: the fandom is intense. but not so much in a bad bad? it really depends which circle you step into and most of the ones i’ve seen have people that are super kind and lovely!

but it’s mainly intense and loud, it’s a slight tinge of entitlement going around in some circles, most if not all are very vocal about crying and everyone’s just screaming

but hey, the amount (and quality) of fanart and translation content etc is amazing & i always give my appreciation and love to them

with that stuff out of the way, hmm i’ll just ramble about something

like divisions

buster bros!!! is cute. good bro vibes. it’s also really lovely to read about how jiro and saburo didn’t like ichiro in the beginning, and now they’re willing to do anything for him? good stuff. they also have really good songs and i have equal love for all of them, but ‘ore ga ichiro’ remains forever undefeated with ‘requiem’ right behind. saburo’s probably my fav bc i can’t say no to smartass lil shits :’D

i will give my everything to mad trigger crew. the angry yakuza sison, the megane cop in leather and the military dork who loves to cook can have my soul right now. they fit my ideal types so well :’D not a big fan of their songs except ‘dead pools’ but i love listening to them on the drama tracks

hard to describe into words how i feel about fling posse. i love them very much, their character tropes are up my alley (i have a soft spot for gremlins, liars and gamblers) and nothing can ever top stella. but it’s kinda difficult to root for them? kinda? they’re the mystery division, you know? tied together with secrets and hidden pasts. even when i first got into hypmic, i wondered how they even got together lol. they do have cute moments though! and i’m eagerly waiting for them to open up to each other.

...ramuda ;;;;;

matenrou was my first. i got into hypmic bc of division battle anthem and the group with a gray wolf as their insignia. despite everything, they’re so… chill. jakurai has such a calming voice, doppo and hifumi yelling in the background of songs is so iconic, and they just want to have a good time. being giddy over assassin jakurai is just a perk, i swear-

dotsuitare hompo has nice songs. osaka dreamin’ night was catchy and tragic transistor was buckets of fun. but as a group, i don’t really… feel anything for them. they give me vibes of a plot device to progress the story along (sasara for samatoki, rei for BB/chuuoku) and there’s not much for me to get attached to. maybe in time! roshio having stage fright is really endearing, and sasara has the prettiest fanart ngl

i love bad ass temple!! if i wasn’t already into hypmic, this is the division that would make me dive in. i love love funky sounds, i’m really into their solos, and their dynamic? the “tired exasperated uncle taking care of two brats” vibes? kukou’s fangs? jyushi’s extra-ness? hitoya’s weird outfit? their entire drama track?? amanda?? i just love them

these next ones probably doesn’t count lol but i’ll say it anyway: i love the dirty dawg. ‘TDD legend’ remains to be one of my my go-to comfort songs. the drama between the four is both funny and sad, though it makes sense why they split up. at least they have their own groups now

not really into mad comic dialogue but i think they’re neat! they have nice fanart too

everyone hates chuuoku for ruining lives and that’s valid but. i want to know more about them? they’re obviously the Big Bad but seeing things from their perspective would be really interesting. and i’m genuinely curious about how chuuoku works: the inner workings of the district, how they handle giving out permits, the standard of living beyond the wall & for the women who chose not to, the clone factory

putting aside the music and plot, hypmic has the weirdest merch?? in what other fandom can you get a hypmic-themed bathtub, toothbrush, underwear, face masks and hotel rooms?

✧:･ﾟ*~ only in hypmic ~*:･ﾟ✧

[gamerwoo]

A Guide to Seventeen

This lil guide is mostly for @sugarboyuto​, but honestly this is for anybody who wants to get into Seventeen. They’re definitely not slept on, but there are a lot of people who are wary of a lot of members, so hopefully this makes it a lil easier.

Despite being called Seventeen, there are 13 members. They did a show while creating the group called Seventeen TV, which you can probably find on YouTube or somewhere on the internet. There were 17 members before, but some left or got cut (I’m not positive because I didn’t watch it oop). But they’re called Seventeen because there are 13 members, 3 main units (hip hop, performance, and vocal), and they make 1 group. 13+3+1=17.

Music Videos (in order):

Shining Diamond (pre-debut and technically doesn’t count but it’s a bop no matter how cringey anybody says it is)

Adore U (actual debut song)

Mansae

Pretty U

Very Nice

Boom Boom

Don’t Wanna Cry

Clap

Thanks

Call Call Call (Japanese)

Oh My!

Getting Closer

Home

Happy Ending (Japanese)

Hit

Fear

Unit Music Videos (in order):

Check In (hip hop unit)

Highlight (performance unit)

Change Up (svt leaders)

Trauma (hip hop unit)

Lilili Yabbay (performance unit)

Pinwheel (vocal unit)

Other Music Videos (not in order and I’m probably missing some):

My I (Jun and Minghao Korean ver)

My I (Jun and Minghao Chinese ver)

Home (Chinese ver)

Oh My (Chinese ver)

Just Do It (BooSeokSoon)

Chocolate (vocal unit but for some reason it doesn’t count as a unit mv??)

Q and A (Seungcheol, Jihoon, Hansol, and Ailee)

Videos To Watch To Learn Members:

Ask In A Box Part 1

Ask In A Box Part 2

Seventeen Play Who’s Who (but minus Seungkwan because he was sick)

an unhelpful guide to seventeen (this is probably what i watched bc it was made around the time i got into them tbh)

Seventeen Member Profiles

a shitty guide to seventeen

Misc Videos That Might Help But I Just Like Them:

Mingyu and Seokmin on Weekly Idol for year of the dog

Seventeen on Idol Room

Going Seventeen TTT (bc who doesn’t like to see guys driving)

Going Seventeen Playground

Woozi playing the drums

This performance of Clap bc Mingyu plays the guitar

Jun playing piano and Soonyoung’s solo

Seventeen on Knowing Bros

Minghao using nunchucks ft Jun sorta using nunchucks

Don’t Wanna Cry part switch

Mansae part switch

Pretty U part switch

basically any part switch

Below the cut is also a short guide to Seventeen in age order!! (and yes I had to look up their birthdays I only know what year they’re born lmao)

S.Coups

Real name: Choi Seungcheol

95 line (and he the oldest)

Overall leader but also the leader of hip hop unit

1/3 hyung line

he yell 

he also point

loves to mess with his members as much as they love to mess w him

but he loves them and carats so much

said he only wants carats to look at him

he’s everybody’s husband basically

big soft boi

Jeonghan

Real name: Yoon Jeonghan

95 line

1/5 vocal unit

1/3 hyung line

1/2 of sloth line lmao

he loves winning and will do it at all costs

often caught cheating but nobody ever calls him out

he used to have long hair (i think thats how most people know him tbh)

i confused him and josh a lot when i first got into them lmao

he babies chan but its fine bc everybody does

idk if he still does it but he used to always be like “dino who’s baby are you” and it was like a thing idk

Joshua

Real name: Joshua Hong (Korean name is Hong Jisoo)

95 line

1/5 vocal unit

1/3 hyung line

1/2 English line

born and raised in California but he’s 100% Korean

when they first debuted and honestly for a few years, everybody pushed the gentleman persona on him

and I’m not saying he’s not a gentleman but he’s definitely not just a gentleman u feel me

lowkey a crackhead even if he tries to hide it sometimes

he’s religious so people always push this “good church boy” trope on him but sometimes they take it too far tbh

let him live

Jun

Real name: Wen Junhui (Korean name is Moon Junhwi)

96 line

1/4 performance unit

1/2 of China line

he rarely gets lines its sad bc his vocals are beautiful and his range is great

he was on a Chinese TV program with Minghao called The Collaboration (I think???) and he was so cute

“English is so dangerous” yes babie u are correct

he’s friends with Yanan from Pentagon and they were partners on the show and they were adorable

loves animals a lot its adorable

give the poor babie more lines

Hoshi

Real Name: Kwon Soonyoung

96 line

performance unit leader

1/3 of booseoksoon

used to be a hamster and now he’s a self-proclaimed tiger and seventeen clowns him for it

very proud of his 10:10 eyes (they look like they’re slanted up to be 10:10 on a clock)

honestly has the cutest laugh ever

hyper and loud af

has choreographed some of their dances and i think he still assists with them????

just a very happy boi

Wonwoo

Real name: Jeon Wonwoo

96 line

1/4 hip hop unit

1/2 of sloth line

certified gamer boi lmao (so are cheol and jihoon)

he literally had to show soonyoung how to play video games on his computer lmao

this dude is so dedicated to gaming that he sleeps in the living room instead of in his shared room with seungcheol so they can both have room for their setups

deep voice

looks very scary but he soft

loves cats and is afraid of dogs

when he smiles or laughs he does a nose scrunch just look up wonwoo nose scrunch trust me

shy boi

but he also a breadstick (he’s very very thin he is definitely not apart of thicc line)

Woozi

Real name: Lee Jihoon

96 line

leader of vocal unit

the shortest member but people act like he’s like 3 feet tall

he’s 5′5 he’s not that short ok

everybody says he looks like yoongi from bts

he produces most if not all of seventeen’s songs so he feels a lot of pressure to have seventeen be successful

he may be cute and tiny but he’ll fuck u up

he picked up wonwoo over his shoulder before it was hilarious lmao

he’s still soft tho

also just wants to stay inside all the time even when they’re traveling

boy can d a n c e

plays a lot of instruments too

clarinet, drums, piano, probably more stuff tbh

DK/Dokyeom

Real name: Lee Seokmin

97 line

1/5 vocal unit

1/3 of booseoksoon

the actual sun tbh

he’s so happy all the time and he’s so kind to everybody how can you not love him

hits those high notes real well

he was in a musical for king arthur and he played arthur so he’s now a certified actor

lowkey rap extraordinaire lmao

always making jokes and trying to make everybody happy

basically the mood maker

Mingyu

Real name: Kim Mingyu

97 line

1/4 hip hop unit

he’s totally a himbo

he’s so beautiful and he’s getting pretty ripped but god he’s so dumb

he’s “the cook” of seventeen even though like,,,,,,other members also cook

he’s clumsy as hell too lmao he almost dropped an award after they just won it

also has a deep voice

him and wonwoo are a really popular ship they’re called meanie but it’s a long story

he’s also the tallest member he’s like 6′1 i think

The8

Real name: Xu Minghao (Korean name is Seo Myungho)

97 line

1/4 performance unit

1/2 China line

he’s literally good at everything

he can sing, dance, rap, bboy, use nunchucks, do some cool shit w his hands/fingers, idk dude is amazing

he also tells fans to put themselves first and not seventeen and basically breaks the delusion that fans own them or will be with them

basically the opposite of seungcheol lmao

since his stage name is the8, he goes 8th in the lineup, so he would be in seokmin’s place

people paid him dirt from debut to like 2017 or 2018 but then he found himself and had a glowup and now everybody thirsts after him but he deserves better because he’s always been amazing

also pledis give him more lines

Seungkwan

Real name: Boo Seungkwan

98 line

1/5 vocal unit

1/3 booseoksoon

1/3 maknae line

he’s very good with variety shows so he’s always making jokes and being loud

also hits insane high notes

he’s just super loud and goofy but in a different way from seokmin somehow????

definitely apart of thicc line but like,,,,,,not important

Vernon

Real name: Hansol Vernon Chwe (Korean name is Choi Hansol)

98 line

1/3 hip hop unit

1/2 English line

he was born in America but he moved to Korea when he was,,,,5 i think????

he’s half korean and half white and people used to give him a lot of shit for it and some people probably still do which sucks

stop calling hansol ‘some white boy’ for the love of god

he’s kind of a meme as in he’s just really goofy but it’s so endearing

but sometimes he’s just quiet and doesn’t do much like it’s 50/50

he’s just a very sweet and thoughtful boi

oh him and seungkwan are also a popular ship bc one time hansol was asked his favorite part of seungkwan and he literally turned that boi around and slapped his cake and was like “the butt” so there’s that

Dino

Real name: Lee Chan

99 line

1/4 performance unit

1/3 maknae line

not that it matters but chan is the thiccest person in seventeen i saw them at kcon ny and oh my god you cant even photograph how thicc

moving on

he doesn’t get enough love tbh like there are always stories of fans ignoring him or not sending him any flower wreath things and it’s so infuriating and sad so pls love chan !!!!

does videos called dino’s danceology where he creates choreo to songs and just dances

he’s so fuckin talented holy shit he dances so well and he can sing and he can rap (see his rap in boom boom that’s the best part)

he gets babied so everybody sees him as one but he definitely isn’t like sometimes he acts like he should be the oldest lmao

but he definitely has his babie moments but they all do

Okay, I think that’s everything! I hope this helped and please show Seventeen lots of love!! 

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

this is an outta nowhere question but what are your thoughts on Joker in Smash about a year since he was added? I've heard some folks say the reason the Persona fandom got so toxic is bc Smash got involved and I wanted to know what you thought since you've been in it way longer than P5 and Joker in Smash

Short answer: Yes AND No. 

Long answer (it’s me of course it’s gonna be under the cut due to length 8U):

I’mma be honest, there’s always toxic fans. I know Smash Fans (and Nintendo fans in general) haven’t exactly been peaches, esp when it comes to Twitter (which I think is also an issue atm). But there were toxic fans before than and there’ll be toxic fans later. It’s just life tbh. (dunno where to put this but I’ll put it here: Twitter nowadays is like 2012-2015ish Tumblr, different being Tumblr was a bit more hiveminded and if you disagreed with a popular fandom opinion you.....were kinda bullied let’s be honest so no one could really say their opinions. While Twitter now it’s not a hivemind but instead two sided extremist that you need to choose. Both toxic and similar but just a taaaaad bit different, I’d probs take the two extremist sides over the hivemind if I had to chose tho...even tho Tumblr had better content during that era than Twitter right now imo but that’s in general and not Persona only. 8U Tumblr’s REALLY calmed down since the porn ban I’m not gonna lie, and ironically that’s roughly around the time that Twitter started getting shitty. So like....kinda saying there’s a correlation, I think a lot of toxic tumblr people probably migrated to twitter, and while there’s toxic fans everywhere it feels like a lot gather on Twitter so it really highlights the fandom there sadly). 

From my experience (which is from P4 PS2 era onward, I missed the pre-P4 P3 PS2 era stuff but apparently there were waifu wars which from what I’ve found I probs would’ve just classified as “shipping war” stuff rather than waifu wars....and it seemed liked standard shipping war stuff from back then), the bigger a fandom grows the more fans it obviously attracts, but that also means more toxic fans too. And that’s why I say yes and no for the smash community, yes because they did attract more fans (and their community seems to be a bit toxic atm, like I get expressing your wants to a company and I support that! but the INSTANT you don’t get a specific character announced for the fighter pass and instead of just being like “oh golly darn :(” but instead “***** this place ***** Nintendo you all suck ****** *slur* *slur*” yeah no that’s a little....you gotta take a step back buddy, so yeah I’m sure there’s a bit more toxic fans in that fandom atm but they are also a BIG ASS FANDOM so I’m not surprised), but it’s also just the cause and effect of the fandom getting bigger in general.

It happened when P4 got it’s anime (btw anime fans ya still valid and are a Persona fan, just keep in mind if you wanna talk lore just know you did watch a very abridged version of the game so be aware you might have somethings wrong cause of that.....cause I’ve seen it happen.....DX btw let’s play watchers are also real Persona fans and I’d say even people who just like Joker in Smash are at least Joker fans and that’s ok too enough gate keeping guys DX), it happened when we started getting spinoffs, kinda with the P3 movies (only really cause FeMC fans were salty or P3 fans upset what was cut/changed, but it wasn’t on any toxic level tbh just normal complaints, I think the fact it was a movie instead of an anime bypassed newer fans than with P4/5 animes), it happened when P5 solidified it into the mainstream gaming market (I’ll stand by P4 helped break Persona into it via all the other avenues of mainstream, with P5 finally latching the main series into mainstream games.....I say mainstream cause spinoffs are looking the same as pre mainstream which.....>.> *shrugs* could be better imo), it happened with P5′s anime, and it happened with Smash Bros. And tbh I’m sure it happened or will happen with the Steam community (and Switch/Xbox if it ever goes there too) and P4G (P4 fans go through the same cycle of BS constantly, most of which I believe originated with the anime generation, that it’s hard to tell if there was an uptick or not). And it’ll probs get an uptick again with P6, and then P6′s anime. And maybe manga cause maybe P6 fans like the P5 fans and won’t listen when people say “don’t get attached to the manga name it’s probs not gonna be used so hold off till the anime” but hey let’s have drama for no reason cause we need it. 8U (obvie you can still like the manga name, it’s more for people complaining about name changes or not getting why Atlus just didn’t keep the manga name even tho an explanation is probs within arm’s reach and they were warned beforehand)

*sighs* Sorry back on topic, each time the fandom grows so will toxic fans. Tbh I feel like the phrase “toxic fans” are thrown around a lot. And it’s esp used for only....”haters” it feels like and I don’t think that’s right (cause it can be fans too), it just feels like ANY negativity (even constructive and kept reigned in by certain users) is viewed as that. Like take me, I’m sure I’m probs labeled as a “toxic fan” due to be being a Megaten/Persona fan but disliking P5 and talking shit/calling it out. But I try my damnedest to do that in the appropriate places (ie my personal blog, maybe a confessions place, or a thread/board that’s expressing negatives only OR it’s explaining/expressing pros and cons type of stuff, I find that to be the best because it keeps people who want to vent away from people who want to gush so no war happens, not saying I am perfect or you HAVE to follow this or you are toxic, it’s what I decided to ascribe to and find it works well and good enough and it gives me a better fandom experience). Aka, I don’t go on twitter to someone’s fanart of Yukari or Makoto and trash the character because I’m not a freaking asshole (or in this case a ~toxic fan~). But this also applies to the “fans” as well who will talk about something they like (character/game) but the ONLY  way they can raise it up is by tearing down something else (other character/game), it’s really rude and also toxic as well. Negativity is not inherently bad all the time, and Positivity is not inherently good all the time (with positivity it’s more of giving yourself a break from it rather than saying something positive can be bad at times, tho I’m sure there are times that-that has happened but it’s 2:30 am and I don’t want to think of an example for that). It’s how it’s used/expressed. I see the Twitter community trying to combat the “negativity” by trying to only spread “positivity” and I’m afraid 1) any negative expression, even constructive, will be scorned (I guess I’m afraid of us going back to a hivemind mentality again), but most importantly 2) the people trying to head it are going to be burned out and it’ll hurt them mentally (I do not want it to happen obvie, but I know personally it can wear you down which is why I’m concerned). Don’t get me wrong I love what they are doing/trying to do, but I think we’re generalizing the word “negativity” and “positivity” a bit too much and it’s just raising a few red flags for me (I’m just hoping I’m being paranoid/overanalyzing in this case). 

Uhhh there was one last thing I wanted to address.....Oh yeah gate keeping. I know you asked about Smash but this stuff is kinda related and hey think of it as a history lesson for the Persona fandom (or at least Nusona cause I didn’t have a game system in the 90s ;_; plus wee little me wouldn’t have been able to find P1/2 fandoms back then due to me not really using the internet like I do nowadays till around P3 was probs released). Plus you know how long winded I am so this is kinda what you sign up for, 3 am ramblings of overexplaining~! But gdi I will try to cover all the bases and get my point across in....some fashion. 8U

But yeah, Gatekeeping in relation to the Smash fans, cause I see Persona fans shit on new fans that got into Persona through Smash (I know above I said Joker fans are valid Joker fans rather than Persona fans, but I’m assuming they’ve yet to play/watch Persona and are just aware of Joker and are a fan of him vs the fans who saw Joker and then watch/played the games to get into the fandom. One set is a fan of a character vs the other set got into a franchise because of said character. Like I wouldn’t say I’m a FE fan cause I liked Marth/Roy in SSBM, which is why I have that distinction myself BUT if you wanna call yourself a Persona fan that’s valid, you’re valid, it’s whatever, I don’t really care about the details that much, I just have two categories for convenience). Anyway I don’t think it’s fair to shit on them. Same as I don’t think it’s fair to shit on anime only or manga only fans. Or if they got into the fandom through Nusona (Oldsona is P1/2, Nusona is P3-5 atm). Or Oldsona. Or another Megaten game. 

Maybe it’s cause I came from P4, where it got shit on cause it wasn’t (”dark”) like P3, it wasn’t (”dark”) like Oldsona, it wasn’t “dark” like other Megaten games, it got shit on every way to Sunday for daring to try to have a more lightened mood at times (3 murders happen, we see 3 dead bodies, a 6 yo dies onscreen, we have characters going through intense existential crises, we deal with characters mourning through death as well as other relatable struggles, basically shows our teammates die one by one in the final boss, having a chance to hear Naoto’s death scream on the phone if you don’t stop Adachi, just the “you didn’t save the person” phone calls in general, talks about society’s toxic gender roles and how it can negatively effect a person both to an extreme extent and minor, god forbid they eat an animal cracker to lighten the mood, and this isn’t counting the dark shit that happens in the spinoffs). As if P1/2/3 don’t have comedy, or any other Megaten game, all the demons are freaking weird of course there is comedy. Oh and it also got shit on for going mainstream first, and not even counting that it got shit on for spinoffs (which P3 was included but no P3 gets a pass for some reason), and the fact that it was shit on for not being P5 (before and a little while after P5 came out) because it wasn’t “dark” like P5 (fdksjafajkfljafj P5 has it’s moments, esp with Shiho, tho P4D did it first and went through with it, but seriously each game has it’s own light and dark moments and one isn’t better than the other only cause they have more of one than the other). And....*sigh* let’s just say thank god that I was able to buy other Megaten games right before the flood gates of shit came in, cause I dunno if I would’ve wanted to give it a chance if I had to hear my fav game shit on constantly. I say I dunno cause tbh I was craving more after P4 so badly I still would’ve probs gotten into it regardless of the fandom, I wanted more from the franchise even if it wasn’t 100% like P4. 

But tbh I don’t blame P5 fans, anime fans, or Smash fans for maybe not wanting to get into the rest of the series. I get old fans of whatever feeling like they are...I dunno being invaded? By new people in the fandom. Or their afraid of new fans not fully understanding the franchise (hey guys that’s where you teach people instead of try to passive aggressively try to get them to leave the fandom I dunno maybe make posts to educate instead of trying to push away??? 030). And change is hard and yeah. And maybe you don’t like the new game (keep in mind there’s a diff between saying “*insert* Sux” and “I don’t like *insert* because...” one’s shitting on something and the other is constructive), but hey shitting on the game they like is probs not gonna win them over to your fav game sflkdjafkjafja Educate and be helpful, don’t gatekeep and drive people away. That’s a sure fire way for us to lose this franchise (remember we almost lost Atlus all together, but it was able to get a 2nd life thanks to P4 saving it....tbh probably wouldn’t have ever gotten P5 nor SMTV nor any spinoffs if not for P4′s success with its game and anime, this is both a history lesson and a word of warning since it already almost happened once). 

Tldr; Smash didn’t help but it’s really just the fact the fandom got bigger and bigger fandom means we also end up getting more toxic fans mixed in. Twitter now is basically 2012-2015!Tumblr (diff is Tumblr’s was a hivemind vs Twitter’s now extremist two sides only thing), and Tumblr’s porn ban probably migrated a lot of their toxic fans to Twitter which probs hasn’t helped any fandoms on there. Negativity in general isn’t an issue, it’s if you’re being an outright asshole where it’s an issue. Don’t be an asshole in general, if you need to vent then vent where you need to, if you wanna gush then gush were you need to and without bringing anyone/anything down obvie. You are a Persona fan, regardless of where/how you started. Don’t gatekeep for the love of god, or so help me Jack Frost will sneak into your house and smack you in the face with a snowball (and if he doesn’t then I will.....jk...half jk 8U). Also *sprinkles of (allusions to? I dunno I tried it’s 3 am and my 2nd try on answering this and the first one was just as long) Silly’s Persona fandom history lessons throughout the post*

[imbellarosa]

[1/10] I’d also like to say something about the Larry and Phan shipping: I totally get it that for D&P it must’ve been super invasive at some points, especially 2012, and Dan said it triggered some ptsd and reminded him of school with people trying to “expose him for their entertainment” and yes, that sucks and is very similar to outing someone which is not ok at all. I don’t think the phandom at the time realized that — many of their fans were young and grew up in a different time (being a kid

[2/10] in the 2000s and being a kid in the 90s was a very different experience regarding the LGBT community, even if it’s only a 10 years difference) and they probably didn’t understand that there are many reasons someone would willingly stay in the closed (internalized homophobia for example and the general situation Dan described in his coming out video) — so it’s not like they did it on purpose because they’re mean or anything, but it was still wrong. However, I believe the case is different

[3/10] with Larry: they have given us many reasons to believe they are not in the closet willingly, and are probably fighting for freedom. The music industry context is totally different from the Youtube context, mainly for 2 reasons: 1. Closeting in the industry is very real (and it sucks) so Larry probably is being unwillingly closeted — in the Youtube scenario, if someone’s still in the closet it’s probably their choice (which was Dan and Phil’s case), since there aren’t people controlling

[4/10] their public image like there are in the music industry; 2. Artists in the music industry dont depend on being active on social media for their jobs (their jobs revolve mainly around music), while Youtubers do depend on being active on social media for their jobs (their jobs revolve around the internet), so H&L don’t have to constantly see all the shipping going on on the internet, they can just leave SM managing to their teams and not be active on SM if they don’t want to see all the

[5/10] Larry shipping that’s happening, while D&P did have to constantly see it, because being active on SM was directly related to their work. Like Dan said in one of his 2012 posts (I think): “The thing is, Kristen Stewart and One Direction don’t use Tumblr, so they have no idea what’s being said about them, but I do.” The public image control in the music industry, once again, is the reason why Dan’s sometimes defensive behavior (“fyi I like vagina”) and Louis’ (“I am in fact straight”) are

[11/10] sorry, forgot something (you’d think after 10 asks I would’ve already said everything I had to say): I’m not saying that shipping Phan is wrong either (I ship them too) but just that when we’re talking about people who are active on SM and constantly interacting with their fandom it’s a bit more delicate bc they do see what’s going on a lot more frequently, so you just have to be extra careful and make sure you’re being respectful, but the shipping itself isn’t necessarily wrong!

——————————————————————————

This is what I got from you anon! I’m missing the middle bits there, but I think the general gist is: Larry is fine bc you don’t consider L&H to be willingly in the closet, phan is less fine bc they were willingly in the closet. But like. In 2015, Dan and Phil both wrote, read, animated, and uploaded fanfic about themselves. After that, in 2017, they shared a Halloween sweater for their baking vid (it was super cute haha). I am sorry that Dan had a hard time, and that he found it triggering to be under a spotlight that large, because it’s always hard, but I’m not going to blame his fans, or the fan spaces they inhabit for his mental health struggles. I won’t generalize like that.

Also, given the content they put out and interact with, LT and HS have very much hung around tumblr before and definitely know what gets said about them. But yes, this blog is def RPF friendly!

I do want to read the rest of your messages if you want to resend!! :)

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“i had a dream about the Borderlands are Yours trailer last night for like the 7th time so i guess i ought to do the analysis before i have a breakdown”

find the trailer here

~discussion of the cloth map spoilers occurs in here, but nothing else. if you’re worried about those spoilers do not read~

non-spoiler tl;dr: we discuss why rhys’s head implant is yellow instead of blue in this one particular scene and also go thru a bunch of theories as to what tf is up with Zer0. and some other stuff about giant space lasers

so the intro is pretty much the same as the we are mayhem trailer so we’re gonna ignore that since we figured out where sanc-iii was

pretty sure this scene has been shown already too, in the official announce trailer, i remember taking note of the pink shots

another cov camp on pandora (see elpis in the back). ive said it before and ill say it again i adore amara’s as animations

seen this a bajillion times as well

from we are mayhem near the end. also im still lowkey convinced that robot directly to the right of moze is jakobs. i know i’m probably wrong but... i want to believe. it reminds me of a cowboy

The Are. this is directly below Sanc-III (u can see the wall in the background)

eden-6!!! im interested in the signs in the back there

Prison, Reliance, Jakobs Estate, and... amoe kyuri??? wtf does this say?? idek.

This A Way (glad to know Claptrap will haunt us from beyond Sanc-III)

im interested in the Prison. i wonder if that’s any of those concrete structures/buildings we’ve been seeing across eden-6. i was under the assumption those were like testing facilities, but a prison would also make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

actually

given this sign here over the bridge to the left of the above shot

and the fact we see this concrete structure on the far left in this coming shot

that might actually make some lick of sense...

also can i just say i love the aesthetic of this supply line

so there’s a lot of shots here we’ve already seen and gone over multiple times, im not going to do that again. sorry but... eh.

maliwan = cultists confirmed

i mean if the cult-themed t-shirts being maliwan colored didn’t already cue us in on that, this definitely should lol

and speaking of this shot, i wonder if this has anything to do with Rhys’s building? the one his office would be in. it looks like there are multiple levels to the right of this robo

ah maliwan working with the cult why am i not surprised

rhys gets fucking annihilated (TM)

in all honesty... given this quest name

“Space-Laser Tag” and the subsequent quest “Atlas, At Last” makes me honestly think rhys is about to seriously get fucked up

which sucks. i like rhys. we’ll talk more about this in a second, but i don’t think its coincidence the VHs have come up to the asteroid belt to stop the giant space laser and thus are not on Promethea where the laser is going to hit

better look at this shot, that definitely looks like a rampager to me. i get it, i think. gearbox is hyping up this rampager fight to be super awesome, show it in all the promotional material, have a kickass fight with it, then the twins come in and steal the kill from you. they steal the satisfaction from getting to kill this super hyped-up vault monster.

im picking up what you’re putting down, GB. 

did not realize fl4k actually snaps. how the heck do they do that?? gotta be hard with metal caps as their fingers tbh

404 space station not found

we’re back on the asteroid

... why this gun shoot tentacles :|

this is art

wheres his head going

i was so distracted by the razor blade status effect (??? zeroes??) i didn’t notice the giant-ass A on this banner

OwO what’s this for

~A~

also this which... looks like it could be an amara skill. maybe the one that releases elemental projectiles after an enemy is damaged? feel like we would’ve seen that one already tho.

thinking of this one, im pretty sure we should’ve seen this in one of the many, many gameplay videos (im so jealous) already available.

so if it is, baller, if it’s not, im not too surprised.

it does also seem to be targeting the double cause its shield becomes visible after being hit

i thiiink this is eden-6? in which case it may be that facility tina, brick, and mordy are in (the windows). which may, in retrospect, be that prison we’ve been hearing about

cool angle of the HBC. im pretty sure we’ve seen this shot before, too.

before we get to the actual best part of this scene

this looks very Athenas-like. possibly eridian? although the lights are throwing me off. i suppose the order or someone from the order could’ve built these structures... but what for??

heheheh

also this fucker has those rocks growing out of his head, too

the ones from the alien guns

somewhere outside the RC

back at it again in the space station

also this maliwan thing looks so fucking cool

duuuude looks like the cult got their hands on more than just maliwan hoverwheels, check out that dropship on the left!!! looking cool asf

the cars are STUNNING

holy shit this skin is amazing

very siren-esque

we’ve gone over this clip already but given now that we know the maliwan base thing is on the asteroid, it’s fitting to re-address it i think

a look at one of the metal bois (that im still convinced are jakobs lol)

i love the way this thing looks

the portal seems to be giving off the same blue sparkles we’ve seen on pandora

these

[edit] we also see them in the newest new trailer as Sanc-III zooms off into space. which is interesting.

dunno wtf that means, but yeah. they exist

probably some weird eridian/other dimension shit.

more eden-6

goliath looking amazing. not red and is wearing a helmet, so that’s interesting

looks like a part of the space station

biggggg hallway. im honestly loving how huge these maps seem to be

geniviv! i love her boss fight sooo fucking much.

honestly looks like so much fun

more c a r s

this fucker

probably eridian

i mean it seems to be absorbing the pink-ish energy from the moving stones so i assume its got some sort of link going on

also comparing the mask and arm bit to what we’ve seen rhys hand us on promethea

this thing???

but yellow instead of pink

u kno all this

ye

then again it does sorta ruin the eridian tech so maybe... it’s not lol

honestly my other guess is this is part of that ‘experimental forest’ we’ve seen signs for during the eden-6 demo. dunno why it’s destroying the eridian ruins tho. maybe those pink b e a m s are hurting it? entirely possible. some sorta... life succ ability like Tyreen.

but i don’t think it’s coincidence this thing has shown up right on top of some Eridian ruins/buildings/whatever. the leftmost part though looks like it could be human technology, which is weird. maybe some weird sort of mish mash. human tech that trees/plants grew onto and eridian ruins accidentally powered up. iunno man. im tiored.

rhys’s implant is glowing orange/yellow-ish which is very new

this is from the dev trailer (not glowing at all in the darkness)

from the promethea twitter trailer

and honestly that’s pretty wild to me because in tftbl rhys’s implant glows blue 

shown when he’s in the vault next to fiona

in bl3 during the We Are Mayhem trailer while using his ECHO eye

oh also since i just noticed

from the promethea demo

this scene

also from the promethea demo

they’re missing their monomolecular edge!

we’ll get back to zer0 in a secco

anyway you know who else’s head implant glows?

im not saying katagawa is replacing rhys because their implants are on opposite sides of their heads, but i am saying Katagawa WANTS Rhys in Maliwan and... well, Rhys’s forehead implant isn’t glowing yellow in any other shot we see of him

idk gamers i just think its sus

also rhys is holding onto that thing we see him handing to us in the Promethea trailer

this thing?? you know?

the eridian thingie majig

tho these look like two different areas... unless there’s like a very drastic wall change between angles (which there may be- these fans look identical)

which makes sense that Maliwan would want it (for the big laser thing maybe?? since we know they’re going for activating said laser)

... but honestly i get the feeling this is in some way related to... after the laser. especially since we know that that eridian thingie matches up with this one on pandora

in which case... wtf is the laser for? it definitely looks like its destroying stuff on the surface...

rhys also seems to have knowledge about the eden-6 vault key since he projects it during the dev trailer

me thinks someone got h a c k e r o n i e d

alright galaxy brain theory time:

rhys gets hacked by maliwan not only bc they want a merger, but also because he has info on the vaults/giant space laser, forces zer0 to be maliwan branded now since atlas is joining maliwan, zer0 finds out rhys is not willingly joining maliwan and is instead under maliwan control and tries to forcibly take the key away from him, we stop zer0 and save rhys from both the assassin and maliwan control

🤷‍♂️

Alright but in all seriousness there’s only 2 ways this can go

1. that’s actually our zer0

2. that’s actually not our zer0

and there’s a lot of theories running around about that and i guess we ought to address them

so for 1 there’s a few possibilities:

1. zer0 is a robo/cyborg and got hacked by maliwan (i personally don’t like this one bc i don’t want to know what zer0 actually is. it is a ~m y s t e r y~)

2. zer0 got paid more money to eliminate rhys and is doing so

3. zer0 decided killing their boss would be the ultimate challenge and thus decided to try it out... by joining maliwan

4. they’re faking rhys’s death and/or zer0 is infiltrating maliwan

5. zer0 got the brainwashed/their bodysuit got hacked (i would be interested to see if the monomolecular edge tech caused them to get captured or smth. i mean if there’s a tracker on it, then zer0′s decepti0n wouldn’t exactly work cuz they turn invisible... but they’d still be seen)

6. rhys got the brainwashed/hacked and zer0 is attacking him to get the eridian thingie/key/relic/whatever back

personally i’m curious how they’d play off 1-3 given Zer0 and Rhys are both shown on sanc-iii and zer0 even has crew challenges

im saying idk if the crimson raiders would appreciate zer0 attacking/trying to kill an ally without very good reason.

which is why i’d imagine 4-6 are the more reasonable answers?

also given the explosion of Promethea (what we’re assuming is Promethea) is green and also the laser we see maliwan controlling is purple, i wonder if that’s some brainwashing juice instead of... other stuff. cuz like.

this is elpis’s giant space laser. very radiant and like... ribbon-y? and has all that blue stuff and orbs and mm.

THIS is Promethea’s very solid and has circles and just. looks straight up like a death laser.

and yeah again it could be modified by that human-looking (?) tech around it to be like a brainwashing b e a m or something

or just more precise. that too.

and honestly idk if this could destroy a planet like how we see the planet (that we are assuming is promethea bc of the asteroid belt) in the sanc-iii article

it’s a solid ‘yeah that’s more likely than my theory’. might take a lot of time tho. or maybe those energy rings power it up or deal more damage when they hit the planet...

oh also given Tina literally says “WE blowing up this whole mother humpa”

and the reason im questioning the human-looking tech around it is because

typhon and leda 100% noticed something here. i guess if it was altered by humans after typhon and leda found it then that would make sense?

we’ve also got this from the tree guy, so i don’t know for certain.

anyway number 2

(2. that’s actually not our zer0)

i love these ones

1. that’s 0ne (zer0′s assassin’s assassin from the son of crawmerax dlc)

2. maliwan made a/hired a copy of zer0 and it’s easy to copy their voice/way of speech bc of the modulator (that’s just a fake implanted into atlas to steal all their secrets)

and all of these have the idea that the real zer0 shows up to save rhys at the end of this scene (explaining the blue light)

this

i personally disagree on that being zer0′s sword. tbh it looks more like a maliwan weapon or a laser or smth to me. that said it could be a weird effect because they’re in decepti0n or smth.

most of these theories have the idea that the real zer0 is either off with Fiona or Lorelei or just off on their own and only show up later. i wouldn’t even be surprised, given their line at the end of Tales. you know the one where they diss rhys like “i was talking to her” lol

so i don’t really have much to add to these. personally i believe that’s our zer0 up there, but i wouldn’t be shocked if something happened with the monomolecular edge that allowed maliwan to create a copy of zer0. or brainwash/control them. whichever. 

i do like the reintegration of 0ne into the story, that’d be a hilarious call-back, but i worry it’d be too obscure (a side quest in a headhunter dlc) for the majority of players. we’ll see

it’s weird if brainwashing or mind controlling thru the maliwan tech is the case bc the monomolecular edge isn’t present on their maliwan sword. or their future sanc-iii sword (but that part DOES make sense bc why would they keep that).

(alright also so i just took a bunch of nyquil cuz im sick as a dog so if this devolves into incoherent rambling im so sorry)

ah aurelia

i love her to bits but i don’t trust her because i mean... she worked alongside Nisha and Wilhelm and Alistair dislikes her. there’s like a 50-50 shot she’ll become evil

i would not be surprised if this is a boss fight (door looks frozen over on the left there) but also i would not be surprised if she’s helping us fight off waves of enemies given it looks like we’re in the jakobs manor

like i said 50-50

her attack does make the camera wiggle a bit, usually that happens if the attack injures the player viewing it (with the hud off) cuz it will give a stagger effect

so take that with a grain of salt. also we don’t see aurelia on sanc-iii when hammerlock and wainwright are both there in the group shot in the launch trailer

this fucker i already talked about a bunch in my reddit post on the eridium subject so im going to link that here. i might have already spoken about it on here tbh... i can’t remember lol

anyway here’s the copy and paste from there to here

you can see a huge Tink with Eridium growing out of his head and what look to be Eridium horns. And he's being elementally charged from an Eridian floor tile (in one of those temples, probably the Pandoran one but it could be Athenas, I guess). Kind of like how Bloodwing (also bigger) becomes elementally charged by Jack using element-throwers to change her element. i know it's a cultist tink because on his right shoulder (our left) he has those glow-y pink/purple tubes that are on the CoV guns and other cultists (like goliaths). and while i'm not sure if this is solely Eridian stuff (since they're in a temple) or because of the twins, it's definitely something that should be talked about. 

wait no yeah i did talk about this because of the athenas post. i just remembered lol

uhhh whoops. double dipping i guess lol sorry

still not sure if this is Pandora or Athenas. kind leaning towards Pandora atm

i like how this guy is able to make a cryo wall thing

he goes to smash it but we don’t get to see what happens cuz it cuts to another rampager

dishing out corrosive/radiation (??) attacks while someone shoots it with a fire weapon

this bamf which i KNOW i discussed in that athenas post

also something i haven’t noted is that his roar seems to be activating something here, like a spiral light of dooooom. also more blue sparkles. maybe summoning an assist? or a debuff/attack aoe. 

there is also this weird light near its legs that moves with the camera and sorta reminds me of the weird real-life face talky siren thing. you know the one

very curious as to what this is cause i haven’t seen it in any other scene with a rampager in it. maybe some sort of connection to the spiral/whirlwind thing it’s making?

oh wow im tired now lol

well bl3 is fully downloaded on my computer gamers, so we can officially say it’s happening!!!

[douchebagbrainwaves]

PARTLY BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED A BRILLIANT IDEA TO START A STARTUP THAN REALIZE IT

Their value is mainly as starting points: as questions for the people who had them to continue thinking about. And for programmers the paradox is even more pronounced: the language to learn, if you want to be running out of money.1 If even someone with the same qualifications who are both equally committed to the business, that's easy. Microsoft. You knew there would be.2 I wonder. You don't need or perhaps even want this quality in big companies, but you need it in a way that doesn't suck. And yet the grad students seem pretty smart. That's ok.3

Milton was going to visit Italy in the 1630s, Sir Henry Wootton, who had been ambassador to Venice, told him his motto should be i pensieri stretti & il viso sciolto.4 I suspect the only taboos that are more than taboos are the ones you never hear about: the company that would be the ideal place—that it would basically be Cambridge with good weather, it turns out you have to have at least one person willing and able to focus on one type of ambition. We felt like our role was to be impudent underdogs instead of corporate stuffed shirts, and that the weight of a few extra checks that might be easy for General Electric to bear are enough to prevent younger companies from being public at all. Like skirmishers in an ancient army, you want to go with Ron Conway and bet on people and those who prefer to bet on people. It would cost something to run, and it might be worth a hundred times as much.5 Some smart, nice guys turn out to be easier than I expected, and also did all the legal work of getting us set up as a company with a valuation any lower.6 We talked to a number of VCs, but eventually we ended up financing our startup entirely with angel money.7 If you believe everything you're supposed to when starting a company. Yes, because they give them more leverage over developers, who can more easily be replaced. There are very, very few who simply decide for themselves.

The English Reformation was at bottom a struggle for wealth and power, but it seems so foreign. When you get a couple million dollars from a VC firm, you tend to, because that's where smart people meet. The church knew this would set people thinking. It would cost something to run, and it came closer to killing us than any competitor ever did.8 That last test filters out surprisingly few people. It used to mean the control of vast human and material resources. Usually the claim is that you should be more careful about drawing conclusions based on what a few people think in our insular little Web 2.9

No one dared put on attitude around Robert, because he was obviously smarter than they were and yet had zero attitude himself. No doubt there are great technical tricks within Google, but the most important may be that once you have users to take care of. Because they're good guys and they're trying to help people can also help you with investors. But that assumption is often false, and this is the right way to search for components. At this stage, all most investors expect is a brief description of what you plan to do.10 It would be too easy for clients to fire them.11 Smile at everyone, and don't tell them what you're thinking. Could you describe the person as an animal? So parents are giving their kids an inaccurate idea of the language by not using them.

Usually there is something deeper wrong. So the acquirer is in fact getting worse performance at greater cost. When you offer x percent of your company for y dollars, you're implicitly claiming a certain value for the whole company. He says the main reason is that people like the idea of being mistaken. One of the founders might decide to split off and start another company, so I figured it had to be carefully planned.12 It's not a charity, but they weren't setting the terms of the debate then. Suppose it's 1998. Of course, if they have time machines in the future they'll probably have a separate note with a different cap for each investor.13 It's worth trying very, very few who simply decide for themselves.14 The trouble with lying is that you get a lot of people need to search for components, and before Octopart there was no good way to do that is to visit them.

In a field like physics, if we disagree with past generations it's because we're right and they're wrong. But can you think of one that had a massively popular product and still failed? It was as if I'd told him how much girls liked Barry Manilow in the mid 80s.15 That depends on how ambitious you feel.16 David Filo's title was Chief Yahoo, but he was proud that his unofficial title was Cheap Yahoo.17 If another map has the same mistake, that's very convincing evidence. Clearly you don't have to find startups. More generally, design your product to please users first, you leave a gap for competitors who do. Online dating is a valuable business now, and they're all trying not to use words like fuck and shit within baby's hearing, lest baby start using these words too. Morale is tremendously important to a startup is that you need someone mature and experienced, with a business background, may be overrated.18 But only about 10% of the total or $10,000 of seed money from our friend Julian. I realized it would probably have to figure out where to live by trial and error.19

Perl may look like a cartoon character swearing, but there are cases where it surpasses Python conceptually.20 Don't do what we did. Of the two versions, the one where you get a lot of data about how they work. What drives people to start startups is or should be looking at existing technology and thinking, don't these guys realize they should be doing x, y, and z?21 And pay especially close attention whenever an idea is being suppressed. How much stock should they get? Programmers like to make a winning product. There could be ten times more startups than there are, and that is exactly the spirit you want. There's a hack for being decisive when you're inexperienced: ratchet down the size of your investment till it's an amount you wouldn't care too much about losing. The reason Cambridge is the intellectual capital is not just that there's a concentration of smart people, but diluted by a much larger number of neanderthals in suits. They'd face some challenges if they wanted to make web apps work like desktop ones.

Notes

I could pick them, but the idea is the only cause of the year, they can grow the acquisition into what it means to be a lost cause to try to be a good plan for life in general we've done ok at fundraising, but that it's boring, we try to become dictator and intimidate the NBA into letting you write has a spam probabilty of.

What if a company tried to raise money? This is an acceptable excuse, but I call it ambient thought. Many more than determination to create a portal for x instead of themselves. So, can I make it easy.

Only in a rice cooker.

We wasted little time on a saturday, he wrote a hilarious but also the perfect life, the top 15 tokens, because there are few who can say they're not ready to invest more, and stonewall about the paperwork there, and b when she's nervous, she doesn't like getting attention in the US treat the poor worse than Japanese car companies have little do with the government, it could change what you're doing. But in most competitive sports, the world in which multiple independent buildings are gutted or demolished to be some number of restaurants that still require jackets for men. Particularly since economic inequality in the Baskin-Robbins.

It's worth taking extreme measures to avoid the topic. They bear no blame for any opinions expressed in it. Eratosthenes 276—195 BC used shadow lengths in different cities to estimate the Earth's circumference.

But it was cooked up, but what they made, but investors can get for free.

They look superficially like the one hand and the valuation of an investor? If the startup isn't getting market price.

William R.

There are successful women who don't aren't. The more people would treat you like a probabilistic spam filter, dick has a similar logic, one variant of compound bug where one bug happens to use some bad word multiple times.

Even though we made a bet: if he hadn't we probably would not change the number of customers you need to be about web-based applications. Everything is a function of two things: what ideas did European culture with Chinese: what ideas did European culture have in 1800 that Chinese culture didn't, they would implement it and creates a rationalization for doing so.

Is what we measure worth measuring? But this takes a startup idea is stone soup: you post a sign saying this is not pagerank commercialized. So if you're a YC startup you have a standard piece of casuistry for this point.

Deane, Phyllis, The First Two Hundred Years.

Anyone can broadcast a high product of some brilliant initial idea.

One new thing the company is like math's ne'er-do-well brother. The original edition contained a few old professors in Palo Alto, but they're not. Travel has the same attachment to their situation.

But although I started using it, whether you realize it till I started using it, and so effective that I'm skeptical whether economic inequality is not a remark about the same advantages from it. Html. But the change is a constant multiple of usage, so you'd find you couldn't do the equivalent thing for startups. 32.

Obviously, if the present, and mostly in less nerdy fields like finance and media. Those groups never have to put it this way that weren't visible in the 1960s, leaving the area around city hall a bleak wasteland, but I'm not talking here about academic talks, which is probably not far from the Dutch not to be in most competitive sports, the fact that the VC.

At YC.

It's unpleasant because the proportion of spam. One source of food. The French Laundry in Napa Valley.

Even as late as Newton's time it takes forever.

That's very cheap, 1/10 success rate is 10%, moving to Monaco would give you fifty times as much the better. In a startup with debt is a negotiation.

There are fairly high spam probability. Once again, I'd open our own startup Viaweb, and that there's more of it in action, there are only pretending to in order to attract workers. Though you should probably be the technology everyone was going to visit 20 different communities regularly. Html.

[m0onbean]

friends to lovers!au mark lee

gif credit

i was inspired bc my sister recently confessed to her best friend and the way she did it was hella cute soo....

when you first entered high school you didn't know anybody since you just moved in town

nd it was rlly hard trying to adapt since you were a new kid + u were socially awkward 

on ur first day of school u sat down in ur seat in English nervous as hell bc there are so many... unfamiliar faces.... hELP

and next to u is your seat partner who is this guy who has brown hair and is wearing a pink sweater nd ur like .... ok u can do this u can make conversation with him

but then the teacher interrupts and ur like WeLP THERE GOES MY SOCIAL LIFE AND MY CHANCES OF MAKING FRIENDS :)))))))))))))))

ur teacher basically just talks about the syllabus and other boring stuff nd honestly his voice is so monotone that u just feel like napping

nd u notice that the guy next to you is also trying hella hard not to sleep and you smile to yourself at how his head cutely falls down as he's dozing off but then he immediately wakes up nd pretends like nothing happened

your teacher just keeps on talking and at one point he's like "i hope nobody's fallen asleep yet! :D" jokingly 

and under your breath you're like "... we're literally all about to pass out" 

you expect nobody to notice but then u hear the boy next to you let out a small laugh nd u look over and ohmygod he looks so cute whenever his face scrunches up from smiling!!

when the bell rings you're about to get up and the boy suddenly approaches u and is like "hi... i'm mark... i'm from canada" 

nd you just laugh and go "hi mark from canada i'm (y/n) from ___" nd then he gets rlly embarrassed bC WHY DID HE SAY THAT

but its ok bc u thought it was cute

nd from then on he introduces you to his friend group which is just filled with a bunch of crackheads honestly

u join their squad and for the next highschool years you basically become best friends with all of them

but mark... he becomes your #1 bff immediately

you're both awkward & dorky so when u two are laughing to eachother about some dog meme on Instagram haechan and jisung judge you two so hard 

you two like to go on adventures together in town like maybe riding bicycles to a park OR going into costume shops just to have fun trying on wigs 

during English the teacher probably hates you two bc instead of focusing on how to write an analytical essay u and mark are listening to music while playing endless rounds of tic tac toe

anyways the whole school year passes nd now u two are sophomores 

a lot of people gossip about u two and speculate when u two are gonna start dating but ????? you don't see mark that way and ur 2971301% sure he doesn't see you that way either

in fact u two like to make a lot of dating jokes and pretend to be a youthful, happy couple so y'all can get free things from cashiers who can't resist your adorableness

yet sometimes.... u wonder what it would be like to actually date him but u convince urself that a) mark doesn't like you THAT way and b) being best friends is just as good

jeno is your #2 best friend because he's actually the most normal one in your squad + he's actually rlly compassionate and reasonable like DAMN husband material

nd u tell jeno that u always wonder what it would be like... to have mark has ur boyfriend and he'd be like Well not much would change right? 

whenever ur away from mark u two are either facetiming or texting

whether it's just sending eachother funny memes or tagging eachother in videos of cute animals ... u never go a day without interacting

one day he suddenly doesn't reply to any of your texts or calls and you're ??? ok mayb he's just busy bc he does play basketball a lot with the boys

but then..... u start getting worried so u ask ur groupchat where he's been

you: has anyone seen mark? he's not responding to any of my messages

dream groupchat~

bitch #1 (renjun): why ???? r u worried about him ;)

bitch #2 (haechan): OOooOoOo bc u care about ur Boyfriend?!!

bitch #3 (jisung): omg i'm blushing u 2 are so cute uwu

you: omg shut up i hate you three

jeno<3: i heard he's at the hospital

nana<3: yea he injured his foot

dolphin: yah not to be a snitch BUT he told us not to tell you

you: wait what?!

you rush to the nearest hospital on ur bicycle and when you find mark just chilling on a hospital bed with a cast on his foot u almost pass out

nd he's rlly surprised at first but when he sees tears stream down ur face he immediately feels like the worst guy on Earth

he has to hug you nd tell you 194820 times that he's OK and that he's sorry for not telling u abt the injury

when u find out that some guy ran over his foot with a skateboard u immediately find the guy at school and almost kick him but the whole squad holds u back

at school chenle privately tells u that mark didn't want to tell u abt the injury bc he didn't want you to worry about him but ??? that's BS!! 

chenle tries to imply that mark cares about u in a Special way but u completely miss it

in fact, the rest of the dream squad always talks about u two behind your backs and are like "when tf r they gonna realize their feelings"

even tho haechan wants to just leave you guys in a room to talk about it the rational ones (aka Jeno & RenJun) are like "no just let them figure out on their own"

junior year starts!! and u feel...... different

everyone around you starts to date and you wish you could too

some ppl have asked u out before but u kindly rejected them all.... but why?? why don't u have feelings for them?? they're cute and probably ur ideal type yet u still don't want them

nd whenever all ur frieds are in relationships u feel left out 

Jaemin tells u that u don't need to date to "fit in" but you don't understand why u're not attracted to anyone

so imagine how ... lost ... you feel when mark starts dating someone

he's mentioned this girl a couple of times before and how she's pretty nd u would always agree and encourage him to make a move

but it's all too sudden and unexpected when he texts you about it

chat with mark-

morkypoo: (y/n) i'm dating her

you: who? that girl you mentioned a few times?

morkypoo: yea

morkypoo: you're not mad right?

you: no! i'm happy for you! why would i be mad

morkypoo: idk 

and you WERE happy for him!! but u kinda just relied on him to stay single forever with you so y'all can make fun of the other dream boys when they date 

besides that.... you sort of feel.... jealous?!

so ur on a phone call with jeno panicking and ranting abt how you're so confused!!!

and jeno just calmly listens and is like "okay let's see here... why would you be jealous?"

nd u would be like "because i want him to be my best friend and i don't want him to ditch me for someone else i guess!!!"

"any other reason??"

and you would think hard about it and suddenly

oh shit

you like mark.

in your panic you hang up on jeno and throw your phone somewhere 

and your heart.... aches. 

like there's this sharp pain around it and wow. This sucks.

the tall boy from Canada whose face scrunches up whenever he laughs, the boy who you share blankets with during movies, the boy who you have as your lockscreen is actually ... your first love...

so in order to forget your pain you try to deny it 

its normal for friends to sometimes feel attraction right??? it's okay for you to think about kissing your friend right???

without even realizing it, you start distancing yourself from mark in an attempt to figure out your feelings

mark is confused about why you stopped tagging him in Canada memes and why you always go to sleep earlier nd can't call him anymore

during school you two still talk a lot ofc but whenever mark's gf comes around to kiss or hug him you immediately turn around and leave 

the dream squad watches this happen for a month before they finally decide to deal with this shit themselves

haechan: ok squad our lovely couple is falling apart we need to save them

renjun: haechan we aren't going to lock them in a room!!

jeno: well (y/n) is sad about mark dating someone else

jisung: that idiot... why'd he have to date that girl

jaemin: idk bc we all know he doesn't really like her

chenle: ur right she's annoying af

haechan: i watched them talk before... the conversation was STALE

and as the boys try to figure out a plan, you lay on your bed contemplating everything with your heart feeling stuffy

junior year ends and summer starts 

but now, you're certain of your feelings

mark offers you to get ice cream at night and you agree

when you both arrive at the ice cream store you realize how much you loved just spending time with mark

and how you would die if your friendship fell apart bc of your stupid feelings

after you two are done, you say your goodnights and you enter your car with a clouded mind

and you sit in your car, not even budging, just thinking

before u know it, you grab your phone and you dial mark's number

he answers after the first ring and is like "(y/n) what's up?"

"i know this is really embarrassing and i'm probably going to regret saying this but... i think i like you. no. i like you, mark."

the line goes silent and you can tell he's shocked

after seconds you hear him go, ".... oh okay." nd you scramble to hang up the call, thinking you messed everything up

he sounded really surprised and you start beating yourself up over it

when you drive home, you get a text response from mark that says

morkypoo: i think i like you too

morkypoo: no, i like you. 

after your confession it seems like things are back to normal except now you cuddle closer to him and hold hands with him a LOT

your favorite thing is to surprise him with pecks to his cheeks bc it gets him so freaking embarrasing and flustered!! and now he's scrambling for words bc u literally made him forget what he was about to say

u two decide not to tell the dream squad abt your relationship until a few days

but ofc the plan goes wrong bc suddenly as u two are watching Netflix while sharing popcorn mark gets a call from haechan

nd mark is ? and answers it 

AND haechan is like "hey mark let's meet at the library tomorrow at 2:00pm"

mark, suspiciously: u never go to the library...

haechan: uHHHHH i want to read books ok bye see you there!!!

then he just hangs up and mark is is hella confused and you're just staring at him with the same ? expression

not even a second later your phone starts ringing and guess who it is. yup, haechan.

haechan: let's meet at the library tomorrow at 2:10 pm! oh yeah and don't tell mark!! ok bye!

after discussing it with mark, you 2 come to the agreement to just play along with whatever game haechan was pulling

and once you arrive at the library you're immediately pushed into a study room by haechan and he's like"TALK OUT YOUR FEELIINGS" then locks the door

hmm and guess who else is in that room? mark.

u 2 look at eachother then start laughing bC HAECHAN WAS TRYING TO set you guys together but y'all were one step ahead

to surprise haechan (who was trying to pretend like he wasn't spying on you two from the door's window), you kiss mark on the cheek 

the door bursts open and haechan is like ???WTF that fast???wow i'm good at this-

you: no we were already together

haechan:

haechan, pulling out his phone: i'm telling the squad that you two are fake friends for not telling us this earlier

[galileosunshine]

All of them :)

Oh boy, here we go. SORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG ^^;;

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffe mugs bc I’m kinda afraid of breaking teacups or wine glasses, and I just don’t like water bottles or soda cans! XD

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Depends on my mood ^^

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

COTTON CANDY! They are magical.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

I was always the teacher’s pet ahaha

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Glass cups!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Formal! I don’t think I’d look good in the other styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aaah I love headphones but they’re expensive... so I have earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

generally movies unless I get super invested in a tv show!

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Watermelons!

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

None of them lol (I guess I was decent at basketball)

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Scrambled eggs and toast with strawberry jam

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I don’t really make playlists! I usually listen by album or artist!

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm... key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Sour skittles or sour punch straw bites!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

East of Eden by John Steinbeck. A truly remarkable story about man’s free will in choosing good or evil 

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Seiza

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

The ones I have now. They’re brown leather shoes that can pass as formal but aren’t really XD

18. ideal weather?

Sunny but cool!

19. sleeping position?

On my right side with one arm under my pillow!

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

In a notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Idk if I have any... an interest in space?

22. role model?

My mom. She’s a strong woman

23. strange habits?

After I eat a plum I like to keep the pit in my mouth and suck on it for like... an hour.... (or more...)

24. favorite crystal?

Peacock ore (idk crystals well but on a buzzfeed quiz that’s what I picked)

25. first song you remember hearing?

My mom singing to me in Chinese “This is the day that the Lord hath made”

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Eat watermelon

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

....cuddle ^^;

28. five songs to describe you?

Aaahhh..... 

Aoi Chi, and Hoshi wo Otosu by Galileo Galilei

Ashita ni wa Subete ga Owaru Toshite by Kinoko Teikoku

Mayonaka no Orchestra by Aqua Timez

Light Delight by Poppin’ Party

29. best way to bond with you?

Listen to Galileo Galilei with me... but this might be asking a bit much so I wouldn’t push it. Next would be, watching anime together? ^^;

30. places that you find sacred?

religious structures/monuments, graves and cemeteries, the usual sacred places...  and anyone’s personal bookshelf. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I don’t wanna kick ass or take names :(

32. top five favorite vines?

THERE’S TOO MANY I LIKE and I don’t keep track of them!!!

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Hhh...” “Asghkjsdjf;as”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Not really, I don’t watch tv much anymore

35. average time you fall asleep?

2-3 a.m.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

... don’t remember

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase!

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Idk...

41. last person you texted?

My twin

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets!!!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan!

44. favorite scent for soap?

I like my pomegranate one rn ^^

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

oooh... sci-fi or superhero!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

my gym shorts from middle school and a thin t-shirt XD

47. favorite type of cheese?

Gah I don’t like cheese by itself much or in large concentrations

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I don’t know! I tried asking my friends this too but they couldn’t say either lol

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“Never be cruel, never be cowardly, and if you ever are, always make amends.” That or, “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Ahhh... I can’t remember but it was probably sometime hanging out with friends

51. current stresses?

My exams hhh....

52. favorite font?

No preference ^^;

53. what is the current state of your hands?

?? mine are kinda rough and dry....

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Don’t try to take on everything by yourself. 

55. favorite fairy tale?

Journey to the West (Sun Wu Kong), although this may be too long to count as a fairy tale aha...

56. favorite tradition?

The entire holiday of Christmas :D

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The death of my dad was the hardest thing I ever had to overcome and nothing else really comes close enough to that that I can rank on the same level :(

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Learning the piano and Japanese, and ah...

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Yay I did it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

A soft, slowburn romantic comedy uwu

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Aaahhh way too much to pick...

62. seven characters you relate to?

Arima Kousei (YLiA), Riko Sakurauchi (Love Live!), Sayo Hikawa (Bandori), Mabuchi Kou (Ao Haru), Nana Daiba (Revue Starlight), Takuto (Star Driver (don’t really relate but I really like him)), Kaoru (Sakamichi no Apollon)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Pop Spice and Upper Tune by YKMM, and.... many GARNiDELiA songs

64. favorite website from your childhood?

AQWorlds....

65. any permanent scars?

It looks like a bald spot on my eyebrow. From when I tripped and bashed my head on an armchair ^^;;

66. favorite flower(s)?

Lilies, cherry blossoms, azaleas

67. good luck charms?

small trinkets that friends have given me ^^

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Asparagus for food!! and.... eggnog for drink?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

can’t think of one XD

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

not sure what this means... XD

72. worst subject?

probably... English lit. 

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

I don’t have any I’m not a very adventurous person with food XD

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Probably like... 7 or 8

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Waah I don’t remember!

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Waffle fries!!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Succulents!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Sushi from a grocery store XD

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

I can’t make out the picture on my school id now cus it’s so faded, so... drivers license XD

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Like to wear? I find jewel tones more pleasing but... earth tones probably suit me

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I kinda use both...

82. pc or console?

PC

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

I didn’t play with either but barbie if I had to choose!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology!!!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Chocolate chip cookies only and if not, cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Being alone in life...

88. your greatest wish?

To make my friends and family happy!

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My twin brother and my significant other if I had one!

90. luckiest mistake?

um... can’t think of one

91. boxes or bags?

This is weird... they suit different situations and needs!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Lamps

93. nicknames?

Joey mainly, but I’ve had Josie before ^^

94. favorite season?

Fall in terms of weather but summer bc no school and I can see friends!

95. favorite app on your phone?

Twitter.... or SIF

96. desktop background?

A piece of art for YLiA

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

3

98. favorite historical era?

Tang Dynasty China or Ancient Greece!

[intomybubble]

I dont really like being home. I feel more empty than I usually do (in comparison to my apartment by campus)because the people who I’m supposed to be close to, I only see them at the dinner table and that’s basically it. Never mind the fact I haven’t been able to see either of my two friends at all the last three weeks or even message them (or get a damn response back to a question I asked). All I’ve been doing has been laying in my parents bed watching YouTube on the TV and falling asleep for 3 hours before either eating dinner or two hours before going to bed by midnight so my dad won’t get angry (I’m on my phone in the dark anyway so w/e).

Like I get sad at the apartment since my roommates have friends and I get jealous about that but that’s my own fault for not being able to make friends after 4 years and feeling shitty about that. But I’ve been trying my best to ignore that feeling and I’ve only cried when I ended up thinking about it or talking about it and that’s been like 5 or 4 times in the last year. Like I remember my dad saying something about why I don’t come home outside of long weekends (sometimes) or breaks, and I tell him what’s the point? Being picked up and dropped off would be at minimum 2 hrs both ways (sometimes just the drive home can be 4 hours), no one talks to me, and I can’t focus on studying (when I’m actually able to get myself to do that). My dad said something about just having me in the house, but what’s the point? We don’t really talk. Most of the time is me being scolded bc I’m still not doing so hot in my classes or other things he doesn’t like about me like my handwriting or something. I also don’t want my parents to keep driving me since I can’t drive myself (it stresses me out and I never get enough practice since I’m not home often enough) and I feel bad about everything so small things like this is because I don’t deserve it and I don’t want to be more troublesome. Also my mom could at least be more bothered to try to be interested in things I like? The other day I asked if she could come w me to watch the spiderverse movie, but she said she could drop me off so I can watch by myself and just earlier I was trying to show her some dance performances from the korean show dancing high (very impressive teenaged dancers I really liked watching it) but she didn’t pay attention. Then she gave the excuse of being from different generations, but I try to be interested when she watches Filipino drama by asking what’s happening and I listen to some old Filipino music too. Like I have no reason to be here. Fuck I feel less motivated to do anything here too. I’m about to leave in like three days, and I still haven’t taken out the clothes I wanted to leave home out from my suitcase, I haven’t bothered to organize the nct pictures and translations on my computer, I haven’t watched any anime, or most of the other things I wanted to do. I hardly have seen my brother and I still have the feeling he doesn’t like me which sucks because he’s interested in kpop too and we sometimes talk about it. But every time I talk to him or visit his room he seems so annoyed. I don’t want to bother with people who don’t want to bother with me, but at this point I feel like I’ll just be alone. I’d like to make friends with my roommates, but we don’t have much in common and I only kind a feel sorta comfortable with one. I don’t have much to talk about since I don’t have any reason to do anything but go to class and shop for groceries and all I got is kpop. Doesn’t help that my bias group isn’t the most popular (not nugu, but also not like got7 or bts popular), though I still listen to a lot of groups. Anyways I’ll stop here. I don’t remember what I did and didn’t cover anymore anyways

[nctjournal]

Uninterested (Jaemin)

Gif Credit

word count: 2405

An au where you are a photographer who didn’t have an interest in dating. However, someone hopes that you’ll give him an exception.

A/N: I would have wrote more on this but I lost motivation, so the ending of this isn’t great. and i had this for 5 days now, oops.

so you’re a photographer

jaemin’s a model

apparently you somehow end up having to take pictures of him

you didn’t mind, since you’re just doing your job

but it gets a little fishy as you keep getting assigned with him

you only knew him as a model, nothing personal

you brush it off though

oh, did i mention you’re not really interested in love?

your friends have tried to get you to fall in love through a blind date but it doesn’t end well

not surprised bc you know that people don’t like you that way

jaemin is no different

he’s just someone you take pictures of and be done

oh yeah, you don’t do the editing part of the job

though you wish you did so you wouldn’t take hours directing people on how to pose and taking a bunch of pictures

unlike others, you wouldn’t make the model pale as hell

but whatever

you were on your break before taking more pictures

normally it would be the time for everyone to eat

yeah no

you rather eat at home than eat around people

that’s why you don’t really go to restaurants unless your friends dragged you to another blind date

talking isn’t your forte either

you mainly just talk to do your job

“why are you so quiet?” your friends would ask

“i don’t see the reason why i should talk.” you say

that’s basically your reason

at the point your friends can’t argue

and you mainly communicate through text or email

bc you’re always inside

ok break’s over time for pictures

you stretch as you get back to where you were for photos

that jaemin kid is back again

and 6 more kids

yep time for group photos

you basically know their names bc you gotta tell who needs to move

you hate it though

bc there’s that one kid that’s always calling you out

yep that kid is haechan

or so you were told

“why are you so serious? you look like you don’t even want to take pictures.” he’d say

ok he’s not that mean but shhh

you don’t answer him as usual

in reality you would kick his ass

if only his producers and cameras weren't there 

and his members too

when the photoshoot is finally done both you and the groups were happy

of course you didn’t show it bc you were busy putting the camera away and everything else

what you didn’t know is that jaemin has been eyeing on you

you didn’t get the vibe either

you’re that kid that doesn’t really get anything until a while later or until you’re told

you hear the group talk but you couldn’t care less

you basically left after you said your goodbyes and went straight home

before the members could get to you

sucks bc you could have hung with them

but you didn’t want to be with them for how loud they were 

right when you got home, you got a phone call

god damn it

you ignore it bc you just want to relax

is that so hard to ask for?

you like to sit at your couch and read a book while listening to calming music

even if you get another phone call, you ignore it

you could easily get fired now if your boss was calling you

but you’re one of the very few photographers they have so they can’t

skipping to days later and it’s your day off day

or it was until your friends are dragging you out of your house again

this time it wasn’t for a blind date

it was more of a hang out which you didn’t mind

it was to a mall and god how long has it been since you went to one?

you thought it was fine bc it’s just your friends

until you saw the same group you took photos of has been invited too

how the heck do they know nct dream?

let’s not get to there

you wore your casual clothes, nothing surprising

everyone else decided to be fashionable

like damn it’s just a mall???

minus jaemin who also wore casual

you two looked like you have similar clothing styles

except you don’t wear hats

next thing you knew, you were separated from nct dream and dragged by your friends

not surprising but getting dragged somehow didn’t get on your nerves

you got so used to it, you’re just like ‘whatever’

anyway

you were just standing there as if you’re the kid in the store waiting on your mom

aka your friends

you weren’t interested in shopping

but you weren’t one of those people who just shuts themselves in from the world

your friends looked like they were picking something for you

god you might need a whole new closet just for clothes they bought for you

you plan to pay them back but they’re just “no no it’s ok!!! they’re for you, a gift from us!!”

whenever this happens, you’re just “what are you guys planning?”

“oh nothing!”

liars

but you just went with the flow

you don’t know how you could stand being with them

they take hours to do shopping

HOURS

ESPECIALLY FOR CLOTHES

and for the dreamies, it only took like a few minutes

well your friends can’t help it, especially when one of them is a fashion designer

or two

your call

you realized they were mainly looking through dresses

ok that’s fishy

swear to god if it’s another blind date

wouldn’t be surprised anyways

hours later and your friends are FINALLY done

that long for like 2 dresses

at least they fit in a single bag

now you guys decided to eat bc they took forever looking through dresses

pretty sure the boys already ate

wouldn’t be surprised

turns out they didn’t and they were just waiting for your friend group to finish

“you guys take FOREVER!” haechan would say

and chenle

all you did was point to your friend group and they’d know

well, until after jaemin said that it’s your friends’ fault 

really, that wasn’t hard to understand

when you guys got the food, you didn’t eat much

it was worry to jaemin that you didn’t eat much, but he didn’t know you don’t have a big appetite like everyone else

until your friends pointed it out

though it would be better if you said it yourself

but oh well, you didn’t have to talk at least

later, you finally went home bc your friends had to drag you and the others to watch a movie

it was a horror movie, which is a bad idea i tell you

you weren’t affected bc you find it cliche, but everyone was hugging you like their life depends on it

they only let go when you guys had to go your separate ways

you showered and got ready for bed

of course for another work day

When you went to work, you were finally assigned to take a picture of someone else

Turns out it was Jeno

He’s a nice kid

To you anyways

He always compliments the pictures you take of him

“Wow, Y/N! This is really nice!”

You didn’t take it to heart though

All you say is thank you, even without a smile

Bc smiling isn’t something you like about yourself

Even though your smile got complimented once

Of course Jeno is known for his smile, and literally made everyone fall for him

Well almost everyone

You weren’t one of them

You just thought a smile was just a smile, nothing more and nothing less

Now you had to take a picture of him again, but in a different concept

A cute, bright concept

With the one thing you didn’t like, balloons

You didn’t have a good relationship with balloons as them being popped always scared you

He was playing with balloons, throwing them in the air for pictures

you’d always get nervous when the balloon goes near the lights

Especially when it gets REALLY close

You should have told your boss about your fear of balloons popping

Too late for that now

When you finally finished taking pictures, you let out a really long sigh

The members seems to be done at the same time too and went to play with the balloons

This time you ignored them

“Why won’t you stop staring at them and talk to them?” You hear one of them say

Well that’s not your concern

You tied your hair up as god who knows how often your hair went in your face while taking pictures

You went to talk to your boss about other plans that you might have the involved taking pictures

Once you finished talking to them

You literally hear the members screaming

Followed by a loud pop of the balloon

With that you literally ran home before you could say bye to everyone

Of course you can’t let them know that you’re a mess when you get scared

Your boss called you, but you didn’t hear them

Now you’re just chilling at home, trying to calm down from the balloon pop

Really, your heart doesn’t want to calm down

You curl up into a ball as you mentally beg your heart to chill

What scared you more is the knock on your door

Luckily it was your group of friends

You knew that they wanted to drag you out again

Now isn’t the time

But it’ll help you calm down

Hopefully

You wore one of the dresses they bought for you

“OH MY GOD Y/N YOU LOOK SO CUTE!!” your friends scream

Bc it’s the first time you wore something they bought you without them asking to

They would hug you as if you were a stuffed animal they just won

“I also heard what happened, and don’t worry, we’re gonna go to the fair!” one of your friends said

Yep, a fair, that’s surely helpful

So you went anyways

This time it was only you and your friends, guess they knew you didn’t want them to come

Anyways you looked around and basically drank water

Of course you ate some food too, but you’d get a little sick afterwards

When you got a little sick, you and your friends just sat down until you got better

And this sequence went on

One of your friends noticed the dreamies, but then pretended like they didn’t notice them

Your friend wanted this stuffed animal, but they couldn’t win it bc they keep losing the game

after watching your friends fail, you decided to give it a shot

they thought you’d fail, until the last throw got you the stuff animal

you have them the stuff animal and they hugged you as a thanks

hugs aren’t bad

but you had to hit them to let go before they crush your ribs

you thought that you were gonna hold all the animals that they won, but turns out that you were carrying nothing

you appreciate them for helping you get your mind off of the balloon popping

but you not carrying anything is weird

so you asked to carry something

and that something was a large stuffed animal

almost the size of you holy heck

you had to carry it like you were hugging it by the neck

sooner or later, your group is friends knew the dreamies were here

honestly they were scared at the idea that they might laugh at you for being extremely scared of a popping balloon

so they basically tried to avoid them at all costs

until you guys were sitting down the the group walked over to you

you were doing your own thing, looking through your phone and drinking lemonade 

“Hey, Y/N?” one of them said

you looked up from your phone and removed the straw from your mouth

so it was jaemin that called you

“yes?”

“are you alright? sorry for earlier…”

first, you were like ‘what is he even talking about?’ 

but then you remembered the balloon incident

“your boss told us and—“

“you should have seen jaemin! he’s was so worried about you!” haechan interrupted

amazing

10/10 haechan

“hyung!” jaemin said, embarrassed

you just watch the two of them talk

then jaemin requested you two to be alone so he can actually talk without being interrupted by haechan

you agreed and followed him

when you two were finally alone, he continued

“sorry about him… he’s always like this.”

“i can tell.” 

“anyways, are you alright? i saw you ran out before saying goodbye.”

you nodded as you fidget with your phone

“that’s good, here.”

he held out an average size teddy bear to you

you were confused, but you took the bear

“it’s an apology gift, even though it doesn’t make up for everything.”

“thanks..” you say quietly

“it makes up for the things you did to me.” you had to add

?????????????

“what? i didn’t do anything to you.”

“exactly.”

“oh you little—“

“there you guys were!” you hear a familiar voice

yep it was jeno and the others

seems like your friend group went home 

such friends you have

“your friends told us to take care of you.” chenle said

great

“alright then.”

you hung out with them until the fair closed

you were gonna head home alone until jaemin insisted on walking with you

he wasn’t gonna budge anyways so you let him walk with you

you two talked to each other more than usual

he found out how sweet you are

you found out how flirty he can get

when you both got to your house, you gave him the directions back to the building

or you could have gave him the option to sleep at your house, but you didn’t want any issues

turns out to be the case anyways

he was surprised by how nice your house looked

“the one thing you can’t do is sleep with me.” you said

he pouted, “but y/n….”

“no.”

“can we at least hang out more often?”

“as friends?”

he nodded, but that’s not what he wanted.

apparently he took an interest in you since you took pictures for their company 

“i’ll think about it.”

he's gonna have a hard time to get you to change your feelings for him

since one of the members secretly told him how uninterested you are in dating

but he’s gonna take it nice and slow

[your-iron-lung]

No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross 9

aka ‘Buried in Water’; available to read on A03 HERE

Story Synopsis:  Some weird low-key occult parties start popping up that Steve can’t in good conscience ignore and takes it upon himself to investigate. Billy gets caught up in the consequences of his meddling, and isn’t it funny? For all the strange things the Upside Down has thrown his way, it’s werewolves that Steve has trouble accepting exist.

Chapter Word Count: 5197

Pairings: Eventual Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington

Genre: Supernatural/Drama/Horror-ish

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Next Chapter: 10

Notes: bit of a shorter chapter here lads, but i want the next chapppie to be ENTIRELY FOCUSED on whats gonna happen next  bc buddies. pals. friends and amigos. its gonna be real gud. 

i hope none of u reading have that fear of looking out of a window in the dead of night only to find something standing there staring back in at you :^) youll see ;)

'Liminal' was not a word that existed within Steve's lexicon, but even so, it was the word that best fit how he felt sitting there in Billy Hargrove's curiously empty home, watching him pace the floor in front of him. He was talking, speaking energetically, but Steve wasn't listening; he was finding it hard to focus, too distracted by the revelation of werewolves to actually comprehend what he was being told. It was like his brain had gone numb, blanketing his mind in indifference as he studied the bandages covering the invisible wounds over his hand.

"-I don't know anyone in this hick town, so I'm going to need you to-"

A monster, Billy had said. Another goddamned monster running around loose in Hawkins, terrorizing the youth because why the hell not? They might as well change the slogan of the towns 'now entering' sign to read, 'Welcome to Hawkins: Monster Capital of the U-nited States'.

Billy kept talking, but his words continued to fall on selectively deafened ears as Steve wondered about who he ought to tell. Who the hell would even believe him? The kids, probably; Dustin definitely. But would they be enough to help him? And then, what were they meant to help him with? Exterminating Billy Hargrove? While he was certain they'd jump to arms for a chance to eradicate him, this wasn't a monster problem he felt could be solved by bludgeoning it to death like the last two had.

"-I don't know anything about this shit, but, I think that'll be enough."

"What-" Steve spoke slowly, brow furrowed as he tried to bring himself out of the introspective daze he'd worked himself into. He shook his head a little bit and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry, what'd you say?"

Billy had stopped pacing and was waiting to hear the feedback on whatever idea he'd come up with in the time that Steve had been spacing out. A cigarette was hanging limply out of his mouth, smoke filtering through his lips. "Have you not been listening to a goddamned thing I've been saying?" he growled, frowning sharply when he realized Steve really hadn't. "Before we do anything, I said we need proof."

"Proof…? Proof of what?"

"Holy shit, what the hell are you being so damn spacey for?

"I said I don't know anything about werewolves except for what that b-movie showed me, and even then, how much of that is based on fact? It's just a fucking movie. Maybe this healing of my arm is enough proof that it was something supernatural, but what if that's just like, I don't know, a side-effect of being bitten?" He began pacing again, rambling as he walked back and forth in front of the small couch Steve was sitting uncomfortably on. He smoked the cigarette down to the filter but kept sucking on the butt end, focused entirely on finishing his thought. "Maybe it ends there, and I'm not actually infected or cursed or whatever. Maybe this is all that'll happen with me, but maybe there'll be more. I don't know anything about this, and from the look on your face you know about as much as I do, which is jack shit."

"So, research," Steve said. The idea that he was sitting in on a lecture made him want to laugh; no wonder he'd spaced out so hard earlier. "You want to do research? Go down to the library and have ourselves a good old fashioned study session?"

"Fuck research," Billy said decisively, snarling at Steve's retort. "You can do all the research in the world and still have people who don't buy into it. Fuck that. I don't want research, I want proof. Hard proof. Evidence that can't be refuted."

"Your arm-"

"-isn't proof enough for me," Billy finished, coming to a standstill and glowering at Steve. "And won't be for anyone else who didn't see it before, Jesus, Harrington, you really aren't a good learner, are you?"

"For a guy who was trying so damn hard to get me to believe in all this, you're being awful stubborn when it comes to your own convictions," Steve snapped. "So what, then? What'll be enough?"

Billy studied him quietly, a smoldering expression of pent up exasperation clouding his features. He didn't speak right away, causing Steve to want to fidget under the scrutiny, but he remained still.

"That," Billy finally said, pointing to the TV behind him where they'd paused the movie again on the transformation scene to study and compare the beast. "That'll be enough. When the next full moon comes, then I'll be satisfied."

Of course he was right. There was only one definitive way to settle the question of whether or not Billy actually was a werewolf now, and that meant waiting to see if he transformed under the influence of a full moon. Initially the idea of that seemed ridiculous to Steve, but when he thought about it, he wasn't sure why that notion should be ridiculous to him at all- he'd definitely seen stranger things. If horrific flower-faced monsters that were born out of the depths of some alternate universe could exist and somehow crawl their way into a universe they didn't belong in, then why couldn't werewolves be real? By comparison, werewolves had more rights to exist than the demo-whatevers; at least they belonged in their world.

The digital watch strapped to Billy's wrist began to beep, loud and insistent. Glancing at the display, Billy's face hardened imperceptibly. His eyes flickered to Steve momentarily before he shifted his view to the front door.

"So you're content to wait it out till then?" Steve asked, standing up as Billy walked by him and to the door, glancing out one of the street-facing windows briefly.

"No, but I fucking have to," Billy muttered, eyes scanning the street before he looked back at the readout on his watch. "It's not like we can force the moon to come early. We need a damn plan. Well, I had a fucking plan, but you tuned that right out, didn't ya?"

"A plan for what?"

Turning away from the window, Billy appeared both excited and apprehensive. He was smiling, baring his teeth and running his tongue along their edges, but it seemed to stem more from nervousness than anything else. Steve's first thought was that he looked like a caged animal ready to defend itself, and an uneasy feeling settled into his gut.

"For if I'm right, Christ, why don't you listen? Now get the fuck out of my house, we'll talk about this later."

Billy's dad came home a mere ten minutes after Steve left, angry and without reason for it. He never seemed to need a reason to be angry these days though, and as he felt his father's rage strike him, Billy imagined that Neil must have somehow known all along about Billy's secret meeting with 'that Harrington boy'. The assault was deserved, one way or another, in his father's eyes.

Later that night, Billy came down with another fever. The cause of it wasn't clear to him, as it could've been a myriad of different things, but regardless, he felt its exhausting effects and had to turn in early.

A great heat consumed him, troubling him when he found he couldn't stop sweating; repenting for the sin of having brought another boy into to the house by perspiring to death. The fever was so terrible that when he finally tried to lie down to sleep, wearing only his underwear and lying overtop of the bedcovers in a home that couldn't afford to run the heat in the winter, he opened his bedroom window so that the chilling breeze might offer him some respite.

It was soothing enough to allow him to rest, but his skin remained sticky and sheen when he finally did close his eyes. His sleep was light, due in part to the fever he couldn't stop sweating out and owing also to the nightmares that had begun to plague him recently, offering him horrific visions of what his future might hold in store for him if he didn't figure this 'werewolf' thing out.

It was two hours after he first fell asleep that Billy woke from one of the nightmares with a deep, shuddering gasp, and for a moment as he lay there panting, he thought it likely that he had woken himself up.

He was cold now, the fever abated as he lay shivering in the freezing breeze that flooded in from his window. Some snowfall had accumulated on the sill, leaving small little puddles as they melted down. He was disgusted to note how sticky he'd become as his bedcover stuck to his back when he sat up. When he reached back to peel the fabric from his back, he heard a noise like someone walking- no, running- through the snow outside, a dark blur against the blackness rushing by his window.

Billy froze in place, slowly turning his head to look out the window. His heart rate slowly began to pick up as he heard the shuffling footsteps of something creeping around out there, running in circles. He took in a deep breath to calm himself and realized, suddenly, that he could smell it- a rotting, fetid scent was wafting in on the winter air as the beast outside ran laps around his home.

His blood ran cold in an instant, and for a moment, he didn't know what to do.

'Let's say it is real,' he could hear himself telling Steve all those nights ago. 'What's to stop it from just following you home?'

It had tracked him down, using the pheromones or whatever hormones his fever sweat had exuded to find him at home with the window open, practically inviting it inside to kill him in his sleep.

The darkness of his room was unsettling as he listened to it snuffling around, taking in huge breaths as it skulked around in the night. Carefully and as quietly as he could, Billy slowly began to swivel his legs off the mattress, unsure of what he was going to do but knowing instinctively that he couldn't sit still for it to just find him. His feet touched the cold, hardwood of the floor and he almost recoiled at the freezing touch, and as childish as the thought was, he couldn't help but fear that something was going to reach out from underneath his bed and grab his ankles before he could do anything to combat the monster that was now hunting him.

The noises outside stopped for a moment, as though the creature could sense that Billy was on the move. He himself stopped moving, heart pounding in his chest even as he tried to convince himself that whatever was outside was just a large dog or something; a sick deer just trying to find a bite to eat underneath his window. He couldn't move his eyes away from that deep, dark square of night that was framed by the window as he sat paralyzed on the edge of his bed, and distantly he realized he'd begun to sweat again.

Just as he started to think that perhaps whatever it was had left, threatened by the thought of pretty that could fight back, he heard it again, but instead of an animals feet padding softly through the snow, foraging for sustenance that could not be found, the sound of something hard and sharp clacking against the sideboard of his house began to make his hair stand on end.

It was climbing; scraping its claws alongside the house as it tried to make its way into the open window.

Coming for him.

As strong as he knew he was, Billy felt terribly weak in that moment, unable to contain his panic. He shot up from the bed, disregarding the instinct that told him to just fucking run out of there as fast as he could and instead found himself lunging forward for the window, slamming it down hard enough to shake the frame as thought it would be enough to protect him.

With his heart pounding he stared out into the darkness, face mere inches away from the glass pane he knew wouldn't be enough of an effective barrier to keep it out.

There was no movement from the other side. The night was utterly and completely still; a void of darkness kept at bay by thin glass. It was stupid of him to sit there and keep watch, he knew, but he had to be sure it was gone. Being as scared as he was made him feel like a powerless child, and if he could write this incident off as just another vivid dream, then he'd be far better off for it. Still, nothing moved as he sat there, though the glass had begun to fog up, making it hard for him to see anything. Billy wiped at it with his hand, mistakenly thinking his own heavy breathing had caused the condensation, and found himself rendered immobile yet again when the beady red eyes of the beast surged into focus.

Billy stared transfixed as dread consumed him, rooting him in place, his hand pressed to the cold glass. He couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't do anything but watch as the werewolf grinned, spreading its lips in a wide snarl to show off all its teeth, taunting him, challenging him.

I will see your flesh torn asunder, boy; ripped to pieces, chunks in my jaw, your bone between my teeth, down my throat, your blood boiling in my belly.

With a scream rising up in the back of his throat, Billy did bolt then, shooting himself off his bed and launching himself away from the window that the creature was perched at, waiting to bust in and fulfill its promise. He collided against his closed door with a thud, and he fumbled with the handle, trying to open it without taking his eyes away from where he could see it, opening its wide mouth, exposing more, so much more as it pressed its gnarled hand against the glass to finally break through-

His door came open suddenly, spilling him out into the darkness of the hallway to land on the cold floor, chest heaving as he scrambled, trying to get to his feet but unable to find enough traction to set him straight.

"Billy?"

He almost let out a shout when he heard Max say his name.

"What're you doing on the floor?" Her voice was tired and her eyes were heavily lidded with exhaustion as she stepped out of their shared bathroom, the sound of the toilet's weak flush gurgling behind her. She yawned and rubbed her face, waiting for a response to justify his weird behaviour.

He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was gone. Instead he swallowed, and turned away from her to look back at his window, afraid of what dark, horrible shape would be crawling through it.

But there was nothing to be seen; the monster was gone, if it had truly ever been there at all.

"What're you looking at?"

Max stood behind him, peering into his dark room curiously when he didn't answer her question.

"Go back to your room," he finally said, though his voice was hoarse and he had to repeat himself.

"What are you, the hall monitor? I had to piss," she said, using the snarky tone of voice she reserved only for him. "What are you doing on the floor?"

"I'm not," he replied, finally finding the strength required to get to his feet.

"Well, you were."

"I'm not now, am I?" Billy snapped irritably, turning a mean look on her. Despite his fright, he was careful to keep his voice low. The last thing he wanted to do now was to wake up his father in the middle of the night. "Get the fuck back in your room and go the fuck to sleep."

Max rolled her eyes and didn't move, lingering in the hall. She looked away from Billy's room and back towards her own, biting at her lip.

"I heard something outside," she said at last, speaking quietly. "Something was running around outside the house. It woke me up, but I couldn't see anything when I looked. Too dark."

"Just a dog," Billy replied, swallowing hard, hoping she didn't hear the waver in his voice. He wasn't able to meet her eye as he said it. "It was just a dog. I yelled at it and it ran off, okay?"

"A dog?" Max had an alarmed look in her eye. "What kind of dog? Did you get a good look at it? How big was it?"

"I don't know, what does it matter? It was just some stray," he said. "I told it to fuck off and it did; it's gone now, so go back to sleep you little shit before you wake someone up."

"You're the one shouting at animals in the middle of the night," Max bit back, but despite her attitude, she still looked worried. "You're sure it was a…? Nevermind, whatever, I'm going back to sleep," she grumbled, and turned away to go back to her room, shutting the door just hard enough to let Billy know she didn't value his authority.

Alone in the darkness of the hall, Billy's eye was drawn back to the window. He wondered where the thing had crawled off to, and if it would be coming back. More timidly than he would have liked to admit, he stepped back into the cold enclosure of his room and quietly closed the door behind him.

"Hey, Steve, man, I really just wanna thank you again for offering me a ride home," Dustin said, already breathing hard. In his arms was a box full of the things he'd used for his final presentation in whatever science class he'd taken that semester, the weight of which was cumbersome enough to have him struggling to carry it. Ordinarily, Steve would have offered to help him carry it, but he wasn't thinking straight.

'Later', as Billy had said at the start of the weekend, had ended up being earlier that morning on the first day of finals. Cornered in the bathroom (the fucking bathroom, of all places), Billy had locked the door and sequestered them in the math halls men's room during the downtime between finals. He'd lit a cigarette and leaned against the stained porcelain sink, his shirt unbuttoned and open to accommodate his sling, and told him about his plan. It had been a simple one, but they wouldn't be able to see it through alone.

They needed a private place; somewhere they could quarantine Billy in case something really did happen with him, and the closer it got to the next full moon, the more Billy seemed convinced that something would happen.

"My teeth're starting to come loose," he'd admitted reluctantly, averting his eyes as he ran his tongue along them, prodding at the loose ones in agitation.

"Y'sure that's not just bad dental hygiene?" Steve had joked, but his remark had only been met with scorn.

"Just because I live in a hick town doesn't mean I'm going to become a toothless hick," Billy had snapped, but even through all his bravado, Steve felt he could sense his fear. "I brush my damn teeth Harrington. I take care of my appearance. And it's not just one tooth," he'd said as he rinsed the cigarette butt under a stream of water, putting out the cherry before flicking it into the can, "it's all of them."

On top of that, Billy had seemed haggard when they'd spoken; there was an overall dullness to him that suggested he hadn't been sleeping well lately, but they weren't at the point in their fucked up relationship where he felt he should ask about it. Instead he'd simply agreed to Billy's plan; it wasn't like he'd come up with a better one, but it meant he'd have to drag someone else into their mess. For as large and private as his home was, it didn't offer what Billy felt they needed.

But he knew Dustin's did. He'd been there before; seen with his own eyes what it could contain.

"I really owe you one," Dustin wheezed, his voice sounding strained and distant, and Steve was surprised at how far he'd managed to fall behind him in their trek through the parking lot. Coming out of his ruminations, he turned in time to watch as Dustin nearly stumbled through the gravel, trying to reclaim his balance quickly before he spilled the contents of his science project into the soggy earth.

"Whoa, hey, let me get that," Steve said, backstepping to relieve Dustin of his burden. The box was heavier than it looked, and nearly fell through his unprepared arms as he took it from him. "Geeze, man, you bring your whole damn chem set in or what?"

Dustin whistled in relief before replying.

"Had to, turns out students aren't allowed to use any of the school's equipment on the last day of class because no one wants to stay late to clean it. Myself included, obviously."

"Well that's bogus," Steve absently said, to which Dustin agreed.

"Tell me about it," he bemoaned, cracking his back as they approached Steve's car.

Setting the box of Dustin's things on the rear of his car, Steve dug his keys out of his coat pocket and unlocked the doors. He set the box carefully in the back seat, making sure it was stable enough not to tilt and spill if he took a turn too fast, and stepped back to see Dustin staring curiously at the ugly seat cover stretched over the front passenger seat.

"What's with that? Having some work done?"

"Something like that," Steve replied dismissively. He'd tell Dustin about it later, but for now he didn't want the kid worrying about anything he didn't have to. "But uh, speaking of owing me one, I need to talk to you about cashing that in."

"What, already?" Dustin looked a little surprised, but Steve could only shrug lackadaisically. "When I said that, you know, I kinda figured that you'd be cashing it in waaaay off in the very distant future. Or you'd forget I said anything at all, so I wouldn't have to actually do anything."

Steve laughed, but it sounded forced, and Dustin frowned a little bit at the harsh sound of it.

"I promise I wouldn't actually ask you to do something for me unless it was important. Get in so I can turn the heater on and we can talk about it."

A look of contemplation crossed Dustin's face briefly before he got in the car, preemptively putting his seat belt on as Steve started the engine and cranked the heater on to its highest setting, the airflow tousling his hair. Dustin didn't like the way Steve's brow kept creasing, or the way Steve had seemed so distant during the walk from the school building to the car. And now he wanted to talk.

"So, talking?" Dustin prompted.

"I need to borrow your basement," Steve said, coming right out with the request instead of wasting both of their time by trying to make it not sound weird. There was no easy way to say it.

Dustin blinked; an owlish and slow movement that, for a moment, made Steve feel like Dustin suddenly knew everything.

"I don't have a basement," he said instead. Steve balked.

"Bullshit," he said. "You dragged me back there to kill that lizard pet thing of yours that one time."

"Cellar," Dustin corrected, enunciating the word slowly and precisely. "I don't have a basement, I have a cellar. Mike is the one with the basement, dingus."

Taken back momentarily, it was Steve's turn to blink dumbly.

"Well what the hell's the difference? Nevermind, don't answer," Steve said, speaking quickly as Dustin opened his mouth and took in a breath to begin explaining. "Fine, cellar, whatever; I need to use it."

"What for?" Dustin asked suspiciously. "Wait. Are you planning on throwing an end of semester party? Why not just use your house? Or is it themed?"

"No, man, it's not a party; like I said, this is important," Steve stressed, growing impatient with the way the conversation was developing.

"Parties are important, Steve; you taught me that."

Groaning loudly, Steve tossed his head back and stared up at the roof for a moment.

"Okay, yeah, they are, but this is a different kind of important, okay? Like, it's for something serious," he continued, hoping Dustin would understand without telling him too much. "Trust me, if I was trying to throw a party, the whole school would have known about it by now. Just, loan me your basement."

"Cellar," Dustin corrected again, but without any of his usual haughtiness.

While Dustin wouldn't say Steve was dumb, per se, he would have to say that he wasn't exactly… subtle. Analyzing Steve's behaviour, and knowing what he'd used his own cellar for in the past, it was easy to come to the conclusion that Steve wanted to utilize the space in much the same way he himself had done when he realized Dart was growing up to be something of a problem child. Steve didn't want it for recreational use, but instead wanted it so he could contain something. Even before they'd gotten into the car, Steve had seemed tense, as though he'd been steeling himself to have this conversation, further justifying his line of thought.

"Steve," Dustin asked slowly, turning in his seat a little bit and scrunching up the fabric of the seat-cover to face his friend, "is this a code red?"

Meeting Dustin's eye, Steve saw that he was finally taking their conversation seriously. A graveness had overtaken his usually carefree expression, and he hated the way it made his young face seem to age.

"I don't know yet," he answered honestly, sighing and adjusting the air vent so it wasn't blowing heat directly on him anymore. "It might not be, but it potentially could be."

"Oh, Christ," Dustin groaned, slouching back in his seat and staring out forlornly through the windshield. "I thought we solved all this when El- Jane- closed the rift. What is it this time? More dogs? An Upside Down puppy? Shit, is it a cat?"

"No, no, it's nothing like… nothing like those things from before," Steve was quick to say, but wasn't sure how much information he should divulge. After all, like Billy said, it might not be anything, except… Except he had symptoms now. "If it was, I definitely would've said something about it before now."

Mulling the answer over in his head, Dustin then asked: "Does it have to do with the bear attack?"

Sitting back in his seat, Steve sighed and glanced up into his rearview mirror. Billy was there, a distant, lone figure, but he was there, and he was watching, waiting for him to secure a spot where they would be safe to test their theory.

"I can't tell you right now, but I promise it's nothing I can't handle."

"Alright," Dustin said after a moment, though he sounded dubious. He was frowning deeply, lost in his own thoughts before he said, "When will you know for sure? After you use the cellar? If we need to assemble the rest of the party, I can-"

"No, no, don't uh, 'assemble the party' just yet," Steve said. "I don't want to alarm everyone only for it to be a false alarm, you know?"

"Christ," Dustin mumbled again, looking miserable as he slowly began to slouch in his seat. "Okay, fine, you can use my cellar for whatever fucked up containment bay you need it for, but you have to tell me what the hell's going on afterwards, okay?"

"I will, man, I swear."

"Shit." Dustin heaved a sigh and sat up, rising out of his slump. His seat belt clicked noisily, locked into place as it refused to let out anymore slack.

Steve watched him undo the belt and re-buckle it with a hint of amusement. He hated that he had to give Dustin reason to worry, but at least school would be over soon, and they wouldn't have to split their focus and try to decide which was more important.

"Think I can take the loan out on your cellar this Friday?" he asked after Dustin had resituated himself. "And look man, you and your mom? You guys can't be there. Think you can arrange to get out of the house for the night?"

Groaning loudly, Dustin eventually nodded.

"My mom's been telling me over and over we need to go visit her sister," he said. "Aunt Connie hasn't seen my teeth since they came in and wants to see them; the only girl alive who wants to see them and it's my aunt."

Steve laughed earnestly at his comment, and when Dustin caught the look of honest amusement on his face, he cracked a grin too.

"But the worst part? You wanna know what the worst part is, Steve? She pinches, man! I'm gonna look like I have blisters on my face when I get back!"

Steve cackled with delight, picturing Dustin's face pinched so hard his cheeks would be naturally rosy for days afterwards.

"Hey, I'm real sorry about that; I'll take you out to lunch or something when you get back, alright?" he said, feeling the burden of having to put Billy's plan into motion lift from his shoulders. They had their spot secured; now they only had to wait for the weekend to use, and then, if they were lucky, they would be able to move on.

"Oh, you'll be owing me much more than that if I survive," Dustin muttered, grinning cheekily as Steve finally put the car into gear and began to drive them out of the lot.

"Here's hoping," Steve said with a wink.