#and del is and(tm)

[dellephone]

curse + choscar

Oscar thumps his head against the wall. “I think I’m cursed.”

He sounds genuinely distraught. Lando looks at him, notes the closed eyes and pained expression. He works very hard to keep the laughter out of his voice. He isn’t sure he succeeds. “You’re not cursed.”

Oscar opens his eyes, and Lando hurries to straighten his expression. He meets Landos eyes and very seriously repeats, “I’m cursed.” He pauses a moment for Lando to respond. When he stays silent, Oscar continues, “He adopted me.”

Lando sighs, settles down next to him. “Look, maybe that’s how he flirts. You know,” he gestures with his hand, “using it as an excuse to get to know you.”

Oscar eyes him wearily, “How do you know.” The moody tilt to his voice is almost enough for Lando to break. He takes a breath to keep the laughter down.

“I don’t.” He cuts off Oscar’s unhappy hum, “But. You can be kind of, you know.” Oscar looks at him, waiting for him to continue. “Maybe he’s trying to feel you out. You can be— hard to gauge.”

“Hard to gauge.” Oscar parrots back, unimpressed. But his gaze slides off of Lando, which he takes to mean that Oscar is thinking. He waits a moment. “Okay. Maybe. At least—” he pauses, “he’ll get to know me this way.”

Oscar doesn’t seem happy exactly, but he’s thinking. So back to normal— or close to it. Which is good for Lando, since it means he’ll be able to laugh at him sooner without offending him. Maybe he’ll even agree to go out after the race.

[lesbiandemondaddy]

I just think that pictures of Florence with other famous women

[simmersofia]

the calientes + don lothario makeover

[tordenvejr]

whyyy are all "if you like hozier you'll like ___" lists that i can find only for the soft folk aspects... i want the soul blues rock and the dramatic intense mythological elements 👺

[kyistell]

I got bored few days ago and had this idea that the New states have a group chat sooooo heres the New state GC that no asked for :D

Chap one: Oops all the new kids

Chat- New Brethren

Newie: So remind me again why we aren’t eating at Jerz?

Yorkadam: He let Florida in his house

Nex Mex: yikes

New Mex: is jerry still alive?

Yorkadam: Considering he is looking over my shoulder, yes he is alive

Newie: Damn thought this woulda killed him

Yorkadam: He says “Fuck you”

Newie: 🖕

Nex Mex: wait why cant jerry just type on his fone?

Yorkadam: Also Florida

Newie: WAIT!!!

Newie: Did Florida blow up his kitchen AND his phone!!???

Yorkadam: Yep

Nex Mex: daaammmmnnn 

New Mex: doulbe homiecide

Yorkadam: “FUCK YOU!!”

Newie: Ooooo Jerz is angy

New Mex: hehe angy

Yorkadam: Be warned, Jerkae tele’d

Newie: Ah shittiobweiufhubewgowefub

New Mex: L

Newie: your next.

Newie is now offline

New Mex: hahaha look at this thing i suddenly gots ta do

Nex Mex is now offline

Yorkdam: God damn it Jerkae

4 hours later

Newie is now online

Newie: Jerz you are the worst you know that

Jerry™: oh I am absolutely aware

Newie: Absolute psychopath

Yorkadam: Your acting like we didn’t know this already

Newie: Fair point

Newie: Btw where is Nexico?

Newie: Figured he would have got on by now

Jerry™: I got em

Jerry™: turns out snow and a 80 degree state don mix so well

Newie: Jerz wtf?

Jerry™: listen at first it was light torture as pay back and then it turned into a bill nye the science guy ep

Jerry™: not my fault

Newie: How???

Yorkadam: I chose not to question that, it’s best you don’t as well

Yorkadam: That reminds me, you didn’t get hit too badly did ya?

Yorkadam: We could always get Masshole or Conny to look at it

Newie: Nahh don’t worry

Newie: It’s just bruised but I’m pretty confident its not broken

Jerry™: ah shit I didnt hurt ya loads did I?

Jerry™: you can pop down to my room if ya want

Jerry™: I got south park running and ice/heat packs

Yorkadam: Oh great, worried Jerkae is out

Newie: Shh shh Yorkie

Newie: I want love

Newie: I’ll be right there

Yorkadam: Sigh, I’ll bring pizza

Jerry™: that pizza better be from one of my places or so help me god

Yorkadam: As per usual, I’m getting pizza from my place and ya can’t stop me

Jerry™: I ll starve danke

Newie: Oh for Treeza’s sake just get pizza from Dominoes

Yorkadam: Oh hell no

Jerry™: if you ever suggest that again Im going to kill you zero hesitation

Newie: Damn okay fine

Newie: Just didn’t want yous to murder each other over food again was all

Jerry™: its my room so its my pizza ur gettin

Yorkadam: I’m the won getting the food dipshit, so I get to pick

Newie: Wait isn’t it technically Nexicos room?

Newie: Since it was assigned to him before yous two switched?

Jerry™: ……

Yorkadam: …So I’ll just grab Papa Johns?

Jerry™: yeah…papa j works

Yorkadam: Cool cool, be there in ten

Yorkadam is now offline

Newie: Wait so all I have to do to get yous to stop fighting is just mention that it wasn’t your room first?

Newie: Wicked!!

Jerry™: Fuck you and fuck off.

[cctinsleybaxter]

there’s a scene 30 minutes into the new pinocchio movie where pinocchio looks at a crucifix and says ‘why are they singing to him when he’s just a statue’ and i was jokingly like ‘Pinocchio Has Become Protestant’ and then that was the plot of the movie!!!!!!!

[full---ofstarlight]

somehow delvyre went from struggling to getting approval w astarion to him now being her third highest after gale and shadowheart and i think it's because they both love to lie <3

[deathshallbenomore]

mia madre: [guardando insieme il concerto di capodanno esprimevo il mio disinteresse rispetto al ballerino inquadrato insistentemente] e va beh, adesso arriverà anche una ballerina [🌈👀🏳️‍🌈🫣?!]

sempre mia madre: ho sognato che ti sposavi con uno

capite che a questo punto essere out e non fare niente per negarlo (né, del resto, avere alcun interesse a farlo) MA non aver neanche mai fatto coming out è fonte di gag incredibili sulle quali baserò i miei sketch comici quando l’accademia mi avrà drenata e vorrò fare la clown da un’altra parte

[chikinan]

Hiiii Mati How does it feel to have your post reposted on instagram?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CrMM6X1u501/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

HI. VERY FUNNY. @gabunny look

[tortademaracuya]

Pensando en cuando Carlos aun intentaba desesperado que alguien le diera bola con lo de la casa que no existe pero pueden ver perfectamente o el terremoto que nadie sintió, qué rápido pasan los años

[dellephone]

post-apocalypse + landoscar

Oscar has to rendezvous with Mark in an hour when he runs into someone in the run-down convenience store. They stare at each other for a moment, both on edge, neither keen to make the first move. The other boy is attractive— he looks about the same age, although he could probably use a good shower. Oscar imagines he's in a similar state. A good zombie apocalypse will do that to a man.

The other boy tilts his head, eyes the gun on Oscar's back. Says, "Find anything good?"

Why would he answer that truthfully? Oscar shakes his head no. “You?"

The guy flashes a crooked smile. "Me?"

Oscar doesn't respond, keeps his expression unimpressed. Although his cheeks feel a bit warmer. They both fall silent for a moment, still neither moving to leave. Oscar's the next to speak. It's his turn, or something. "You based near here?" Almost kicks himself for such a stupid question.

The boy's eyes narrow. He shrugs, "It's all nearby in the grand scheme of things, right?"

"Right," well. That's about the kind of answer he expected, albeit a bit stupider.

"You?"

Oscar feels a smile twitch at the edge of his mouth. "Not really." Oscar looks away, starts feeling the itch to leave. Would have already, if he was smarter. And less. Curious. Or something. "Well," Oscar shifts his feet. "I've got," gestures one arm toward the door, "you know."

It's quiet for a moment, the other boy nods before blurting, "I'm Lando." Then winces. At telling an unknown his name or the whole awkward encounter.

Oscar, still half ready to leave, settles slightly back, "Oscar."

"Nice name."

"Thanks. You too, Lando," tastes the name on his tongue, wonders how familiarity would change it. Remembers not to dwell on unnecessary things.

It's quiet for another moment. Oscar isn't foolish enough to stick around any longer. "Maybe I'll see you. Around."

"Yeah," the boy Lando nods. Stays put. Watches Oscar as he leaves.

Later, when he meets with Mark at the rendezvous, Oscar conveniently forgets to mention that he ran into someone. And told them his name.

[lesbiandemondaddy]

Florence Welch and Lana Del Rey at the 66th Cannes Film Festival in 2013

[malkaviian]

bueno nada ahora me agarró lo horny y me puse a pensar en un escenario en el que tyler y skyler tengan sexo lpmqmrp

[confused-and-dickless]

I have that fucking Blake Shelton song from angry birds movie stuck in my head. This isnt a complaint I fucking LOVE that song. I just feel that I should confess that here.

[comradecowplant]

it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that i have been (self-) diagnosed with havana syndrome 😔