#and del is and(tm)

[dellephone]

curse + choscar

Oscar thumps his head against the wall. “I think I’m cursed.”

He sounds genuinely distraught. Lando looks at him, notes the closed eyes and pained expression. He works very hard to keep the laughter out of his voice. He isn’t sure he succeeds. “You’re not cursed.”

Oscar opens his eyes, and Lando hurries to straighten his expression. He meets Landos eyes and very seriously repeats, “I’m cursed.” He pauses a moment for Lando to respond. When he stays silent, Oscar continues, “He adopted me.”

Lando sighs, settles down next to him. “Look, maybe that’s how he flirts. You know,” he gestures with his hand, “using it as an excuse to get to know you.”

Oscar eyes him wearily, “How do you know.” The moody tilt to his voice is almost enough for Lando to break. He takes a breath to keep the laughter down.

“I don’t.” He cuts off Oscar’s unhappy hum, “But. You can be kind of, you know.” Oscar looks at him, waiting for him to continue. “Maybe he’s trying to feel you out. You can be— hard to gauge.”

“Hard to gauge.” Oscar parrots back, unimpressed. But his gaze slides off of Lando, which he takes to mean that Oscar is thinking. He waits a moment. “Okay. Maybe. At least—” he pauses, “he’ll get to know me this way.”

Oscar doesn’t seem happy exactly, but he’s thinking. So back to normal— or close to it. Which is good for Lando, since it means he’ll be able to laugh at him sooner without offending him. Maybe he’ll even agree to go out after the race.

[lesbiandemondaddy]

I just think that pictures of Florence with other famous women

[simmersofia]

the calientes + don lothario makeover

[tordenvejr]

whyyy are all "if you like hozier you'll like ___" lists that i can find only for the soft folk aspects... i want the soul blues rock and the dramatic intense mythological elements 👺

[kyistell]

I got bored few days ago and had this idea that the New states have a group chat sooooo heres the New state GC that no asked for :D

Chap one: Oops all the new kids

Chat- New Brethren

Newie: So remind me again why we aren’t eating at Jerz?

Yorkadam: He let Florida in his house

Nex Mex: yikes

New Mex: is jerry still alive?

Yorkadam: Considering he is looking over my shoulder, yes he is alive

Newie: Damn thought this woulda killed him

Yorkadam: He says “Fuck you”

Newie: 🖕

Nex Mex: wait why cant jerry just type on his fone?

Yorkadam: Also Florida

Newie: WAIT!!!

Newie: Did Florida blow up his kitchen AND his phone!!???

Yorkadam: Yep

Nex Mex: daaammmmnnn 

New Mex: doulbe homiecide

Yorkadam: “FUCK YOU!!”

Newie: Ooooo Jerz is angy

New Mex: hehe angy

Yorkadam: Be warned, Jerkae tele’d

Newie: Ah shittiobweiufhubewgowefub

New Mex: L

Newie: your next.

Newie is now offline

New Mex: hahaha look at this thing i suddenly gots ta do

Nex Mex is now offline

Yorkdam: God damn it Jerkae

4 hours later

Newie is now online

Newie: Jerz you are the worst you know that

Jerry™: oh I am absolutely aware

Newie: Absolute psychopath

Yorkadam: Your acting like we didn’t know this already

Newie: Fair point

Newie: Btw where is Nexico?

Newie: Figured he would have got on by now

Jerry™: I got em

Jerry™: turns out snow and a 80 degree state don mix so well

Newie: Jerz wtf?

Jerry™: listen at first it was light torture as pay back and then it turned into a bill nye the science guy ep

Jerry™: not my fault

Newie: How???

Yorkadam: I chose not to question that, it’s best you don’t as well

Yorkadam: That reminds me, you didn’t get hit too badly did ya?

Yorkadam: We could always get Masshole or Conny to look at it

Newie: Nahh don’t worry

Newie: It’s just bruised but I’m pretty confident its not broken

Jerry™: ah shit I didnt hurt ya loads did I?

Jerry™: you can pop down to my room if ya want

Jerry™: I got south park running and ice/heat packs

Yorkadam: Oh great, worried Jerkae is out

Newie: Shh shh Yorkie

Newie: I want love

Newie: I’ll be right there

Yorkadam: Sigh, I’ll bring pizza

Jerry™: that pizza better be from one of my places or so help me god

Yorkadam: As per usual, I’m getting pizza from my place and ya can’t stop me

Jerry™: I ll starve danke

Newie: Oh for Treeza’s sake just get pizza from Dominoes

Yorkadam: Oh hell no

Jerry™: if you ever suggest that again Im going to kill you zero hesitation

Newie: Damn okay fine

Newie: Just didn’t want yous to murder each other over food again was all

Jerry™: its my room so its my pizza ur gettin

Yorkadam: I’m the won getting the food dipshit, so I get to pick

Newie: Wait isn’t it technically Nexicos room?

Newie: Since it was assigned to him before yous two switched?

Jerry™: ……

Yorkadam: …So I’ll just grab Papa Johns?

Jerry™: yeah…papa j works

Yorkadam: Cool cool, be there in ten

Yorkadam is now offline

Newie: Wait so all I have to do to get yous to stop fighting is just mention that it wasn’t your room first?

Newie: Wicked!!

Jerry™: Fuck you and fuck off.

[cctinsleybaxter]

there’s a scene 30 minutes into the new pinocchio movie where pinocchio looks at a crucifix and says ‘why are they singing to him when he’s just a statue’ and i was jokingly like ‘Pinocchio Has Become Protestant’ and then that was the plot of the movie!!!!!!!

[deathshallbenomore]

mia madre: [guardando insieme il concerto di capodanno esprimevo il mio disinteresse rispetto al ballerino inquadrato insistentemente] e va beh, adesso arriverà anche una ballerina [🌈👀🏳️‍🌈🫣?!]

sempre mia madre: ho sognato che ti sposavi con uno

capite che a questo punto essere out e non fare niente per negarlo (né, del resto, avere alcun interesse a farlo) MA non aver neanche mai fatto coming out è fonte di gag incredibili sulle quali baserò i miei sketch comici quando l’accademia mi avrà drenata e vorrò fare la clown da un’altra parte

[tortademaracuya]

Pensando en cuando Carlos aun intentaba desesperado que alguien le diera bola con lo de la casa que no existe pero pueden ver perfectamente o el terremoto que nadie sintió, qué rápido pasan los años

[malkaviian]

bueno nada ahora me agarró lo horny y me puse a pensar en un escenario en el que tyler y skyler tengan sexo lpmqmrp

[confused-and-dickless]

I have that fucking Blake Shelton song from angry birds movie stuck in my head. This isnt a complaint I fucking LOVE that song. I just feel that I should confess that here.

[dellephone]

post-apocalypse + landoscar

Oscar has to rendezvous with Mark in an hour when he runs into someone in the run-down convenience store. They stare at each other for a moment, both on edge, neither keen to make the first move. The other boy is attractive— he looks about the same age, although he could probably use a good shower. Oscar imagines he's in a similar state. A good zombie apocalypse will do that to a man.

The other boy tilts his head, eyes the gun on Oscar's back. Says, "Find anything good?"

Why would he answer that truthfully? Oscar shakes his head no. “You?"

The guy flashes a crooked smile. "Me?"

Oscar doesn't respond, keeps his expression unimpressed. Although his cheeks feel a bit warmer. They both fall silent for a moment, still neither moving to leave. Oscar's the next to speak. It's his turn, or something. "You based near here?" Almost kicks himself for such a stupid question.

The boy's eyes narrow. He shrugs, "It's all nearby in the grand scheme of things, right?"

"Right," well. That's about the kind of answer he expected, albeit a bit stupider.

"You?"

Oscar feels a smile twitch at the edge of his mouth. "Not really." Oscar looks away, starts feeling the itch to leave. Would have already, if he was smarter. And less. Curious. Or something. "Well," Oscar shifts his feet. "I've got," gestures one arm toward the door, "you know."

It's quiet for a moment, the other boy nods before blurting, "I'm Lando." Then winces. At telling an unknown his name or the whole awkward encounter.

Oscar, still half ready to leave, settles slightly back, "Oscar."

"Nice name."

"Thanks. You too, Lando," tastes the name on his tongue, wonders how familiarity would change it. Remembers not to dwell on unnecessary things.

It's quiet for another moment. Oscar isn't foolish enough to stick around any longer. "Maybe I'll see you. Around."

"Yeah," the boy Lando nods. Stays put. Watches Oscar as he leaves.

Later, when he meets with Mark at the rendezvous, Oscar conveniently forgets to mention that he ran into someone. And told them his name.

[lesbiandemondaddy]

Florence Welch and Lana Del Rey at the 66th Cannes Film Festival in 2013

[comradecowplant]

it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that i have been (self-) diagnosed with havana syndrome 😔

[dirtypr0mises]

HIT ME AND TELL ME YOUR MINE ⋆ — b. eilish

in which; — you and billie have a thing for rougher types of intercourse, yum :P

dom!billie x sub!reader , duh

cw: expect the smut duh, if you can’t handle it that’s on u.! rough sexual intercourse , oral (reader recieving) , usage of toys (vib.) , dacryphilia , oh and two women loving eachother (boo rahhh go away homophobes)

yapyap: am i posting tm or normally girl idk i write fast. well i wrote like half of it and then fell asleep.. but also my first EVER time writing smut , even tho i used to be a wattpad writer , uh yea yikes (booo tomatoes). i think yall should bare with me! yea? ok thanks. i feel like i did good though anyways, but dont tell me. :,)

NOT PROOFREAD

what did you think was gonna happen? going out for dinner in a small black satin dress that was barely there, except the last thought on your mind was the dinner, you knew what you were doing.

billie slammed the bedroom door behind you two, you were standing there, extremely awkwardly. she grabbed you by your neck, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss. her hands traveled down to your waist, giving it a squeeze, which made a breathy ‘mm’ flow from your mouth to hers.

before she got carried away, she made sure everything was set straight. “our safe word, remember it.” she said, pushing you on the bed and climbing right ontop of you. she looked into your eyes for a split second before coming down to crash her lips on yours. soon her lips traveled down from your lips to where your skimpy dress covered your boobs.

a trail of dark hickeys gave proof of what was going on, if anyone wanted to ask.

“take it off” she said in an almost whiney tone, and you complied, pulling the dress over yourself and throwing it — who cares where?

she bit her lip when she saw your body, slipping your strapless bra down, immediately latching her mouth to your nipple, making you gasp out loud, but oh no, she wasn’t there for long.

soon enough, her mouth was trailing down your stomach, more hickeys, more moans. she got down to your waistline. pulling down your lacy black panties.

“knees up, legs apart” she commanded, and when you did she bit back a groan. she couldn’t even pause to look, she licked right inbetween your folds, coming back up to kiss you.

“your so wet for me already mama” she smirked into the kiss, and then she went back down, licking again, and again, again while you moaned again, and again, and again. each time at a higher tone.

she ran her finger across the slit, stopping at the hole and with no warning, plunged her finger deep in you, causing a loud moan to escape from your mouth, your back arched as she moved her finger fast, soon two fingers, and then three. your moans were a mix with pleasure and pain, never had she used three fingers before. soon enough you were on a high.

“b-billie.. i-i need to-“ you said before a sharp moan escaped your lips, she curled her fingers, and you tightened around her, your juices flowing onto her fingers. your fingernails clawing at the bed and your head thrown back.

soon her mouth was back on you, licking at your slit and two fingers back in you, making you whine and push your hips forward. she made sure yall were maintaining eye contact, atleast when your head wasn’t thrown back in pleasure.

“your mine, all mine y/n” she said looking straight at you.

soon you were on edge again, this time she wouldn’t let you cum. everytime your breath hitched, or a moan a little louder than usual had come out of you, or before you could even finish saying her name, she was already out of you, waiting for you to completely come down before plunging her fingers back into you and going down on you again.

tears soon started to flow from your eyes, your back arched and your nails in the bed. randomly she got up completely, making you whine out loud. soon though, she came back with the fancy little vibrator she had bought for you. she smiled at you innocently, sitting back down where she just was. she placed a small slap on your pussy, smirking at the reaction she got out of it.

she turned it on pretty high. and now it was in place of her tongue with her fingers still deep in you. but once again with every breath hitch, loud moan, or you saying her name everything was out. and the tears were flowing, indeed. not to mention every time you were about to go over the edge, she gave the back of your thigh a squeeze, and not a little one.

this went on for maybe 30 minutes, the slowest, most pleasurable but agonizing 30 minutes ever.

after 30 minutes, your breath hitched and your back arched, but she didn’t take anything off. “billie p-please..” you whined, your hips bucking forward involuntarily. she nodded and curled her fingers

and then you came, a painfully loud moan made billie bite her lip, your head practically on the other side of you, you were seeing stars. once you came down, she slowly licked the juices away, placing one last kiss on your pussy before coming up to kiss you on the lips.

“you did so good for me baby” she spoke into the kiss. you just nodded in reply, absolutely unable to speak.

she sat you up, turning on the shower and getting you underwear and a big tee shirt, along with a towel. she helped you up, all knowing you would have trouble walking. she helped you into the shower, smiling at you. “there you go baby, yell at me if you need something, i love you” she said and walked out of the bathroom.

the room was clean, the bed was made, and a candle was lit. with your water bottle on tour bedside, some melatonin and the cancelled podcast on, duh. and of course she had ordered takeout.

you smiled very big once you got out of the shower, walking up to her and giving her a kiss. “i love you” you said quietly, and she said it back. yall went to lay down.

and for the rest of the night you two drowned in eachothers presence. just happy to be with eachother.

‘maybe i like this rollercoaster, maybe it keeps me high.’

[marga-manso]

volviendo un momento a esto (me han llegado notas), personalmente:

- de Julián como personaje podría escribir un tfg intentando explicar lo que opino de él y me quedaría corta, así que resumiendo, vuelvo al clásico "me cae majo pero necesita terapia"

- podría decir alguna cosa más pero la escena con Maite pequeñita me parece una monada y muchísimo menos turbia e incómoda que otras la verdad 🤷🏽‍♀️

Mi parte favorita del Ministerio del Tiempo es cuando en el episodio 4 de la primera temporada Julián dice “he vuelto a hacer fotos, que lo tenía abandonado” y nos muestran a Julián persiguiendo a Maite por la calle, disfrazado, fotografiándola, como si ese fuese un comportamiento romántico y no uno de enfermo mental