#and dedicating them to the only person in his life who hasn't stopped believing in him

[adelaideandart]

Dora's letter but it's Harry writing to Kim

Kim, I wanted to write you a letter, so you can read it first thing in the morning when you come to work. Maybe it will make you happy.

You know how we go over your notes at the station every evening? You smoke your daily cigarette, I try to keep my promise and not smoke at all. We look at Jamrock, the sad remnants of the capital of the world that Revachol once was. I know you love it despite everything, and that makes me love it too. The lights of the city warm the cold spring air around us. We talk about the current case, then we usually move on to precinct gossip, aerostatics, sometimes even politics. Lately we've been talking a lot.

Every evening when you finally put out your cigarette and we walk out of the station and part our ways, I find a little piece of sadness in me. I carry it in my chest on my way home. Every step I take, it grows, and by the time I reach my apartment, it has filled me completely. I open the door, I see the kitchen and the living room where the memories of another life still haunt me. I try not to shudder. I go inside and look back at the door closing behind me, locked in the empty apartment shell.

I know it will be like this until the next morning, when I leave for work -- and walk back to you. Every step I take will get lighter. It almost makes me run, sometimes I do. I can’t believe I met you. I can’t believe there’s a reason I want to wake up in the morning, go to work. I can’t believe I’m hopeful, despite everything that has happened.

You have a vast, vast soul, Kim, and I will always, always come back to it. Kisses, kisses, kisses.

[umbraastaff]

Occasionally, the Starblaster lands in a place that's actually receptive to their dire warnings. On one such world, with their society being accelerated by the Light of Creation, they even began making plans for how to combat the Hunger.

Barry goes to visit a convene a few months into the year, and finds them developing and honing skills they'll need to detect the Hunger - and to fight it when it arrives. To keep its destruction at bay until it follows the ship to the next planar system.

The skills they train are unlike anything he's seen before. Their healing appears as divine as any cleric's, but without the aid of gods - so cutting off the Celestial Plane won't stop their magic. And they fight, too, infusing that same magic into their weapons, powered by the force of their belief. They call themselves Watchers.

Barry trains with them, just the basics. They teach him how to draw power from the force of belief. From the memory of the Hunger consuming his world, and the promise that he'll do anything to stop it consuming others.

Anything.

Lup would do anything. He's sure. They're all incredibly fortunate to have someone like her onboard - someone who wouldn't ever let them destroy a world just to make this easier (and oh, he wasn't there, but he knows he would have been on Davenport's side about destroying the crystal).

He doesn't take the oath. He can see the way it codifies their belief into reality - the way it powers them, makes their souls divine. He wants to be that person, but he isn't. He doesn't put this foreign world above himself.

(But still, the magic takes to him. His senses sharpen to the Hunger's influence, letting him catch sight of the scouts without Blink. He can raise friends from unconscious mid-fight with just enough healing magic. He's dedicated, he believes, even if he won't commit and tie his soul to it.)

--

For a time, he leaves it there. There's so, so much to do and learn and see on this journey. He stays a level one rogue while Magnus trains up more dexterity and stealth, and he stays a level one paladin too, for now.

On Faerûn, Barry commits hard to an imperfect plan. And when he falls, already dead, from the ship, he already knows - on top of finding her - that he's going to have to defend it.

He's trapped in a cave for months at a time. The thing about plans is it doesn't really take three months to concoct one, no matter how granular he gets (and really, he needs to stop himself getting too detailed - it's hard enough getting his living self to follow basic instructions exactly how he wants). So he takes up other studies in the meantime.

He can't use weapons as a ghost, but he can practice the movements, ingrain the knowledge into pockets of 'muscle' memory. He's no cleric, but he can study their magic, see the ways their spells overlap with that training he underwent all that time ago.

He won't risk asking any god on Faerûn for help with the Raven Queen after him - he's not close with one like Merle is - but he already knows he can pull similar magic from inside himself. And some of the most basic spells look really useful, when he's only ever had wizard spells before.

Even when he doesn't remember, when he's just some guy who couldn't cast a spell to save his life, he feels it: the promise, the belief that drives him. He doesn't remember where he learned to fight, but he knows how to move a weapon like it's a part of his body. He knows when he's really, truly desperate, when his adventuring party of the week is on its last legs, his weapon glows with that fury and hits harder than it ever should otherwise.

--

He appears in his workshop feeling sick and furious, lightning lashing off him. All he can hear is their voices, so casually dismissing the dead guy they'd found the umbrastaff on.

Lucretia knows too. She must know, and she hasn't done anything about it -- still leaves Taako without the knowledge of just how fucking important that thing should be to him.

He drags himself back to some semblance of composure, ignoring the new burns and cracks he's put in the walls. Lup is out there somewhere. Lup still exists in this world, along with Merle's children and Magnus'... well, extended in-laws, and--

And she wouldn't let them flee this world, not with their families rooted here, and she wouldn't let Lucretia destroy this world.

And neither will he.

He's going to find her. He's going to bring them all together. He just needs their trust, and he's sure some echo of that century will get them to listen to him. He can bring everyone together, and once he does that, they'll find some way through this. They always do.

The bonds that tether his soul pull taut, burning now with divinity in the heart of an unholy abomination. He knows now how to change the shape of his soul, how to let its form twist around newfound power.

On the discipline of a decade's routine, on sleepless vigilance, on undying loyalty, he swears his oath.

This world will not be consumed.

[thephantomcasebook]

I'm thinking Ewan Mitchell sold his soul to Hollywood. Fucking scary how they lure young great talents like him in. Thoughts?

Look, I'm gonna tell it to you as clean as I can.

Actors and Actresses are narcissistic, shallow, neurotic, empty people, which, as a whole, can't be trusted. They'll do and say whatever it takes not just to get a role, but to get even a few more lines in a script. They are adult people that play make believe for a living because they, generally, don't like themselves and want to be someone else. To deify or put on a throne, anyone, that plays pretend for a living is plain ignorant and you're asking for your heart to be dashed.

No one enters entertainment and comes out a better person, yeah?

There is a very few actors/Actresses that are jobbing, lunch pail working performers that are good and normal people.

Michelle Dockery, Laura Carmichael, Jenna Coleman, Nikolaj Coster-Waldu, Matthew Marsden, Aiden Turner, and Sam Heughan.

The only standard you should have for an actor or actress is these three questions:

Are they respecting the character?

Are they respecting the Lore?

And - most importantly - are they respecting the fans?

I hit Olivia Cooke with the fucking truck all the time, because, Olivia Cooke does not live up to these basic principles. She doesn't care about Alicent, in fact she hates Alicent. She doesn't give a fuck about the lore, and is actively campaigning to change it to virtue signal. And she openly does not care about the fans unless their gender and sexuality gives her cashe to big-up her career.

Like I've said, you can love a character and dislike an actor/actress. I'd give my sword for Alicent Hightower ... and at the same time I think Olivia Cooke is a dishonest snake.

Same thing with Lena Headey. Lena Headey might legitimately be retarded, okay. She is so stupid that she couldn't spell "Cat" if I spotted her the "C" and the "A", right? Lena Heady also happens to check all three of the boxes. She loved playing Cersei. She respected the Lore around Cersei and didn't try to change her character to make her look better. And while she had a terrible history prior of out right abusing her own fans, she learned to appreciate the people that paid her fucking bills, in the end.

When it comes to Ewan. I wouldn't wear those clothes, and I question the manhood and self-respect of any man who wears them - gay or straight. But at the end of the day, Ewan Mitchell has a right to do whatever the fuck he wants to do. Or, more succinctly, I don't give a fuck about his or any other actor's personal lives.

What they do on their time is their business. But what they do on my time is my business. And since I'm paying a subscription for "MAX" and thus paying his fucking salary, I expect him to not waste my time with half-ass performances and hack effort, right?

But he hasn't waisted my time.

Ewan Mitchell has been a model of professionalism and passion when it comes to portraying Aemond.

He has put more thought than anyone - except for Glynn-Carney - about his character.

He is dedicated to playing the character right.

And he has been exemplary in his treatment and interaction with the fans of the show and the franchise as a whole.

And that's really all you can ask of an actor in your franchise. What he does and believes in his personal life is his affair. As long as he doesn't disrespect me than I won't disrespect him. That simple.

Once more, you guys have to stop putting actors/actresses on thrones, cause they're only human ... and, in many cases, not very good ones. Love the character, stan the character, but hold these real life people to simple standards that they should be holding themselves too.

I'm not coming down on you nonny, but I've had thirteen years of this shit on Tumblr of fangirls worshiping an actor or actress in cult like status because they like a character.

You guys have got to stop doing that, cause it only leads to bad things.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I always have a moment, if I hear a comedian mention the word "Tumblr", of briefly panicking, as I remember that technically they use the same internet as I do and apparently are allowed to see this website. I usually relax if it was before 2015, though. Lots of people knew Tumblr existed before 2015. For some reason, around 2015, maybe slightly later, everyone believed that Tumblr stopped existing. So if it was before that, I figure it's fine. These day they are probably one of the many people in the world who assume Tumblr doesn't exist.

I'm sort of joking about this - as in I do genuinely have a moment of freaking out from hearing them say the word "Tumblr" because I briefly and irrationally somehow feel like they can see me, but I also know there's no need to be genuinely worried, as in real life just because they mentioned a website's name doesn't mean they're on here searching their own name. No one's doing that on Tumblr. It really is why I love this website. No one is here. No one is looking at us. It's not like Instagram where you're posting on the same site where the celebrities you're talking about have their own fucking account.

Except for David O'Doherty, who does have a Tumblr account that he must log into regularly because it has his tour list and that's kept up to date, but he hasn't made any new posts on there in years, I'm pretty sure he just updates the tours and then goes away. It's probably fine. Oh, and there is another comedy-adjacent person who has a Tumblr account and whose name I'm not going to write because I know he does Google himself, he once emailed me to tell me so, and I freaked the fuck out for like a week straight because apparently sometimes in real life they can see us. But it's all right, I'm pretty sure he only looked at one post, took a video off YouTube, moved on, it's fine. It's absolutely fine. It's absolutely fine and I'm not worried about it. No one's looking at me. That guy does have a Tumblr account of his own that was actually updated regularly, though, so that's a bit different. That might explain how he ended up finding my post that mentioned them on here. Most of them don't so they wouldn't come across my posts. (That guy was also very very nice when he emailed me and I love his work and think he seems very cool, which I'm adding on the infinitesimal chance that he's somehow reading this again, extremely unlikely but I'm vaguely paranoid - I'm also saying that because it's true though, he's great and I still listen to his stuff a lot, it's fine, he was nice, I'm just horrified at the idea that any famous people would ever know what I say about them, that's why I hide in this corner over here.)

So there was that incident. There was the day I discovered DO'D's blog, which did freak me out until I saw how long ago it was last updated. There was one time when Russell Howard referenced a Tumblr post on TV, which freaked me out for about half a second before I remembered that it just means one of his writers found a Tumblr post and put it in the script, Russell Howard doesn't personally write that whole autocue. Russell Howard is probably too important to even run his own Twitter account. He's not here.

The worst scare I've had - besides the time a guy actually emailed me - was when I heard Daniel Kitson in 2018, which was far too recently, say the word "Tumblr" to say he disliked someone who had a Twitter blog and a Tumblr blog dedicated to how great he is. That actually did seriously freak me out for a few days (he wasn't talking about me or anything, I made this blog in 2020, but still, didn't love to hear that Kitson apparently searches his own name on Tumblr and gets mad about people having blogs about him), though I felt better when I first heard his most recent show, in which he promises us he hasn't Googled himself since 2019. He wouldn't lie, right? It's probably fine. It's probably fine.

Anyway. As far as moments where I'm listening to a comedian I have posted about on Tumblr and I hear that person say the word "Tumblr" and for a split second my blood runs cold as I think "What the fuck do you know about Tumblr?" - as far as moments like that go, this sure is one. Brief panic, followed by moment of "it's 2014, it's fucking fine, I'm sure they've all forgotten we're here by now", followed by "Jesus Christ, Ian, what the fuck have you been reading, that side of Tumblr is not meant for your eyes", followed by "actually, I still haven't been able to find a list of air dates for their radio episodes but I have a document where I'm saving all the context clues in the hopes of narrowing it down enough to label all the episodes with dates, the fact he described that particular post as 'new' can be a context clue if I go to that blog and dig up that post and find exactly when it went up", followed by, "Jesus Christ this section of the internet should really not be for anyone's eyes, what the hell, look at all those things people wanted to do to David Mitchell, but yep, found the post, it's from late February 2014, that tracks with everything else, I think I'm in the right ballpark on these air dates."

The work of a comedy archivist is hard. Sometimes you have to go through some trenches to get a context clue for an episode air date. You do what you have to do.

[shiroi---kumo]

Misterica's White Prince || Salvation's Sickness

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ So I didn't know what the Cloud rant of the day was going to be until spotty hit me in the face with a song again and then my brain started thinking about replies and things I owed so now we're here because my brain went to this section from one of Theo's posts for Kain :

The problem that Kumo loves to ignore and fundamentally fuels him as a person is the fact he is fueled by grief.

Where as Kumo described the Unlimited this way in a very old post:

Kumo is the one drowning in his grief and the strongest part of that grief is the loss of Misterica. The destruction of his world is what weighs on Kumo's shoulders the heaviest. More so than even the shattering of his own soul. More than anything that's happened within the space of Wonderland or Windaria.

The thing is Kumo will tell you to your face that he is a Wonderlander but he doesn't mean it. He means A Misterican turned Wonderlander, because at his core he feels like if he accepts the title 'Wonderlander' then he is throwing away the title 'Misterican' and he just can't do that.

It's been sixteen years since Misterica fell and he still hasn't found a way to cope with it. The only way he found to deal with the pain was to simply not deal with it at all. To simply just go numb to it. Kumo has described to many different muses that his situation concerning Wonderland is "I've been stuck here for sixteen years." when, in fact, he could leave through the use of dimensional portals if he so chose to do so.

There is an internal war going on inside Kumo that he refuses to talk to about to anyone and that he both loves Wonderland desperately because he understands that the people here are not at fault for what's happened but at the same time he also hates Wonderland and blames it for taking everything away from him.

He knows. He knows in his heart that Wonderland only takes what Chaos destroys and Wonderland is not at fault here and that Chaos is but sometimes he can't stop himself from being furious in general because of all he lost.

And he also knows full well that every person who lives in Wonderland has lost just as much as he has. That they're all in the same storm together, just sailing different ships. He knows.

But he is holding back so much anger and rage from losing his entire world (see: planet) that he doesn't know how to handle or process any of it, so he does the only thing he's known how to do with it since he was a child and that is bottling it.

Kumo is deathly homesick and he will not tell anyone. He was raised in a situation where as a Misterican Royal it was his life's purpose to give himself to his people and live in service to them. He honestly believes his life belongs to that of Misterica and her populace and now that populace is gone so he hardly knows what to do with himself.

So he's turned his eyes on Wonderland in response. As the Unlimited of Salvation, his mind demands that he has someone to serve, and he's decided that since Misterica is gone, he will serve the Universe instead.

The whole of the entire cosmos.

Kumo has decided he will just dedicate his existence to serving them. Where Kaze is a "Monsterous as I must" type of existence, Kumo is a "Whatever it takes to protect and save." He was raised as a Misterican Royal in a situation where Misterican Royals bowed their heads to the populace - not the other way around. Without that place marker in his life, Kumo feels lost and he doesn't know what he's exactly supposed to do with himself.

That is but one of the many reasons why Kumo wants to take the reigning throne of Wonderland for his own. The biggest difference your will find between the Unlimited is that Kumo regrets. Kumo laments. Kumo wallows. Kumo feels sorrow. Kumo carries remorse. Kumo grieves.

Kumo's entire person at its core, is that of a grieving boy lost in the world unsure of how he is supposed to proceed.

Kumo both loves and hates Wonderland simultaneously because it is his home now but he doesn't want it to be. He wants Misterica. He wants his palace. He wants his family back, and Kumo regrets the fall. He wishes he knew then what he knows now so that he could have saved his people and saved his home.

Kumo is in a constant state of grieving in the concerns of his parents, his brother, and his soul binds. They were his entire world and they kept him balanced. They kept him "level with the clouds" if you will.

But the thing to remember is that even though, Kumo grew up in the high society situation that he did - Kumo's entire life has been one gigantic illusion of choice. It's always been an illusion. He was born a the Child of Salvation to his people and they dropped a heavy prophecy on his shoulders the minute he took his first breath. He was expected to save them from whatever calamity was coming and since he didn't - he blames himself for it to the highest extent he can.

He has tried to accept Wonderland as his home. He has tried to tell himself The Comodeen is home now and he has done what he's been able to make a little space within its walls that is all his own, but it doesn't take the pain out of his heart that what was his home is dead and gone.

Worse because a piece of Misterica exists within Wonderland and Kumo knows where it is. He has just been too overcome with grief and sadness that when he thinks about exploring the one sky island that survived - he is overcome with a fear he can't begin to understand or explain.

Not just an island but his island survived. The Capital. Taivaallinen Keskusta. He's too scared to go too far in. He's terrified but he wants to so badly because it is all he has left of his home. His palace, his city, his water, his lakes, his trees, his plants, his home.

He is terrified to explore it and his heart won't give him anything other than soul crushing pain as a reason why. It's not just an emotional pain for him but a physical one. He can feel the pain in his chest. He can feel his lungs get tight. He can feel his whole body become overloaded with pain because his anxiety runs wild so instead of going in any further than he already has, he just runs.

And he stays away for months on end.

He tries to pretend the thing he is longing for isn't out there, so he doesn't have to deal with the feelings and the pain and the regret in his chest.

That is the problem with the Unlimited of Salvation, while he has accepted his role to save the universe and serve them. He has accepted his duty to save those around him and everyone that his hands can reach - he can't even begin to start on the path that would let him save himself.

[oldxenomorph]

Taps chin thoughtfully. Does the Resident Evil franchise fit somewhere in the Emperor’s universe? And is so, where and how?

slaps the hood of the mako. the beauty of mass effect is that it can fit as many franchises in it, if you're strong enough.

i think the classic re-in-mass effect is that umbrella is still the same shady corporation just with ties to cerberus, or something. but i personally prefer exploring that 600 year gap between the end of the main trilogy and the beginning of andromeda.

and this will only be about re8, bc that's the re that means the most to me, personally.

we've seen from the experiments on virmire, that one mission in me1 where a mining team turned into husks, the arrival dlc, cerberus in me3, the entire purpose of sanctuary, that the reapers require organic life to interact with their technology. the emperor hasn't exactly forbidden organic life from interacting with reaper technology for the very same reasons: the spread of indoctrination, the development of reaper infrastructure, etc. most people keep their distance from reaper technology (even though it's everywhere now) because they just don't want to mess with it.

but the emperor is always interested in seeing how creative organic life can get with reaper tech.

miranda (not to be confused with thee miranda lawson who was the head of cerberus after the end of the war) was a human biologist working on an isolated colony in the terminus systems. the fungal root at the heart of the colony was really a reaper artifact, the fungus having been affected by indoctrination and began growing all over it, around it, and rising up to the surface. after the death of her daughter due to an epidemic that swept through the colony, miranda came in direct contact with the fungal root and became indoctrinated. she then began dedicating herself to studying the interaction between reaper technology and the fungus, eventually turning to worshipping the reaper-fungal root. in doing so, she began to shape herself into how she perceived the emperor. (in many ways, miranda's not that different from the illusive man in me3, but only in the ways she aggressively used the reaper-fungal root. she's not motivated by a desire to advance organic evolution, she's mostly motivated by grief and her desire to bring back her daughter.)

which is a huge transgression. the emperor discourages people worshipping her (because she's not a god, she's jewish), but can't necessarily stop people from doing little things like making offerings or mentioning her as a presence that watches over people. what is a forbidden is attempting to shape yourself in her image, or however you perceive her to be. (nobody really knows what she looks like and most people go their entire lives without ever seeing her. they only just see the reapers.)

it was only a matter of time before miranda eventually met her fate. eventually after the events of what happened with ethan (local dad who just moved his family to the colony) and later rose, the all that remained of the colony was purged and all traces of reaper technology was returned to the emperor. (at least she got some useful information out of those several decades miranda was active.)

i personally like to believe that alcina dimitrescu and her daughters survived the whole encounter with ethan and were accepted into the court of the emperor where they're currently living their best lives. the darkness of the ziggurat is perfect for them. the xenomorphs like them (that's most important). alcina gets to be adored by the emperor and nyx. the great family also loves them; shub-gorgoroth, yhoundeh, lilith, and cassilda are especially fond of them. after a few years of living in the ziggurat, their conditions stabilize, but become strange due to their contact with the great family and pure, unobstructed reaper technology. they enjoy a lot of freedom within the emperor's court; alcina has gained the title of countess and all the power and respect that comes with it. having the affections of the great lord of extinction and the night incarnate are an extra bonus to a very ideal situation.

(in many ways, it's bittersweet considering she tried so hard to love miranda, only to lose it when miranda became displeased with the mold's development in her. to be loved by actual greater and elder entities is different, her heart aches from fullness from the amount of love she's received.)

the very last bottle of sanguis virginis was gifted to the emperor and remains unopened, aging in a special room along with all the bottles of ambrosia and nectar that have been gifted to her. production of the wine has ceased. for now.

also huge congrats to seras for acquiring three new besties overnight, we love that for her.

[marsmulti]

About Zuko

In the early years of his life, Zuko enjoyed relative peace and happiness within his family unit. Prospering under the Fire Nation's imperial reign, he and his family enjoyed a life of luxury, taking frequent vacations, indulging in fine foods, with access to entertainment such as stage productions and live music. He was unaware of the subtle abuse and manipulation implementated by his father, Ozai, and at the time, saw their family as a happy one.

As he got older, he grew more and more aware of the ways in which Ozai not only favored his sister, but seemed to truly despise him and everything he did. This did not stop him trying to win his father's approval and affection, and he worked twice as hard to become a powerful fire bender and martial artist. While his skill inevitably grew, Ozai's affection only diminished, regardless of Zuko's efforts.

Though he didn't understand why, he was also relentlessly bullied and put down by his more talented younger sister, Azula. She would frequently torment and tease him under the guise of normal sibling banter and engagement. He quickly came to fear and resent her, easily able to see the more obvious abuse at her hands.

At eleven years old, his mother disappears, coming to him in the night to give her last words of wisdom, "...never forget who you are," before vanishing into the night. He has only the support of his uncle, Iroh, though he doesn't return home for some time after this. In the following years, Zuko dedicates himself to his studies, still seeking approval from Ozai, and wishing to become a prince worthy of the crown.

When he is only thirteen years old, he insists on entering his father's war room, to be included in the talks, believing he is ready and it is his duty to be part of this. Inside, he is shocked and horrified by the proposed plan of the General, who suggests sending new recruits to be used as canon fodder. Rightfully, Zuko speaks out, but his father is infuriated by his "defiance," and demands an agni kai.

Zuko, thinking he will face the General, declares that he is unafraid and will gladly accept, however, it is his own father who appears before him. He refuses to fight, terrified and reverent, instead prostrating himself before him and begging forgiveness. However, Ozai sees this as weakness, and as punishment, burns the left side of his face and banishes him, sending him on a frivolous quest to hunt for the Avatar, who hasn't been seen in a hundred years...

Undeterred, and determined to see this through, Zuko searches relentlessly, embracing his anger as a means to become stronger. He grows bitter and resentful, often taking out his anger on the only person who stays by his side, his uncle Iroh. Through the course of his search, he actually does manage to find the avatar, but time and time again, his efforts are thwarted or abandoned for a better cause. Eventually, he comes around to joining them, and begins to come back to himself. (I am not writing a full summary for the show.)

Personality:

Reckless; rarely thinking things through.

Intelligent; resourceful and clever, always ready to use his wits to outsmart and outmanoeuvre an opponent.

Hot tempered; while he has calmed down considerably, he does still have a short fuse and can be easily provoked.

Honest; almost incapable of lying, Zuko has learned the hard way that honesty is the best policy, even if it means accepting dire consequences.

Honorable; no matter what, Zuko always seeks to do what is right, even if it hurts, even if it doesn't look beneficial or practical. Maybe especially then. He doesn't always get it right, but he always tries.

Passionate; whatever he's doing, he does it with his entire being. Zuko is not someone who can do anything half-assed.

Other info:

At the end of canon, he is 17-18. I am writing him around 19 by default. I don't count anything outside the ATLA cartoon in my canon.

Zuko is FtM. He's trans ur honor. I am not explaining.

I don't like Zutara. I am willing to have my mind changed, but don't expect me to fall head over heels for it. On that note, don't expect me to ship at all. Let it build naturally or go home.

My favorite point to write him is from the Ba Sing Se period. Canon divergence FTW.

Plotting;

I really don't have any plot ideas rn, sorry.

I am generally into angst, drama, romance, and interpersonal stuff. Not too interested in action or combat, but I can write it.

I also really really dislike AUs - divergent timelines YES, alternate setting, No.

[starseneyes]

Rewatching the episodes when you hear Dimitri beat his father badly at 13 it’s shocking. Dimitri’s father was a royal Moroi and a novice dhampir guardian beat him. It could so easily have been the end for Dimitri and his family it shows the true love he has for his family and the courage.

Personally, I don't know if I'd go with "courage" because Dimitri is 13. He's full of pent up rage and aggression. He's not thinking it through. He's not considering the consequences. He's not thinking of anything. He's feeling. Rooted in the hormones of puberty and the anguish of years of repression. He finally possesses the capability to do something about this monster.

13-year-old Dimitri is likely tall for his age, and strong. He has training, and that trumps his Moroi father's fists. Brute strength is all that b*stard has. Dimitri has technique and finesses, even so young. He's driven to do well because of his family and the faith his mother has raised him in.

This is a moment where he completely lost control.

This is it. This is the source of his dogged dedication to dogma. His mother likely tried to raise him in the faith, and he reluctantly went to church with her. But after this, he dissolved all of his self into his Faith.

He wasn't courageous. He was unhinged. He was angry. He didn't think it through. He could have lost everything. His family could have lost everything. They could easily have been killed.

The only reason they weren't is because his Moroi father was afraid. Afraid of the boy he'd fathered. Afraid that if he did try to threaten this boy, that the boy would kill him.

The Moroi's self-preservation is the only reason Dimitri and his family wasn't destroyed by Dimitri's actions.

From the point of view of an outsider, Dimitri got away with something brave and deserved. From within, Dimitri only sees the fear.

Because what he did was reckless. It was immature. It was all the things he accuses Rose of early in their acquaintance. He sees some of himself in her, but with a completely different flame. For a while, he tries to steer her closer to controlling herself. And she does shift, as can be seen in her coming to get Alberta and Mikhail to help Mason. But he also shifts toward her... a little further outside the line.

Yes, Dimitri loves his family. But he doesn't see how his blind faith has severed him from them, even. He probably hasn't taken any time off since losing Alexei, and we know he didn't before. He's allowed his life to be defined by this single moment—the moment he lost control.

He over-corrected. It's something so many of us are guilty of. But I hope that the long-term arc for Dimitri helps him learn to forgive himself for his failings, to stop expecting perfection of himself, and to start questioning what he believes without questioning who he is and whether or not he can still be a good person without his blind devotion.

[wilddwcrds]

Name: Miguel Alvarez

Age & Birthday: 66 years old, December 16th

Gender/Pronouns: Cis Man he/him

Birthplace: Los Angeles, LA

Job/Role in LA: Retired legitimate businessman / Renegades

Positive Personality Traits: loyal, dedicated, focused, resilient, protective

Negative Personality Traits: cunning, sharp, calculated, particular, ruthless

ABOUT

Born and raised in South LA, Miguel was raised knowing the struggle of getting by. But living in the same city as stars and glamour allowed him to dream big. Seeing Hollywood Hills whenever he ventured into the city kept Miguel's focus sharp, and it never wavered.

He was only seventeen when he began running with a gang, at the time it was only small in size. He noticed quickly that despite his young age, he was a voice people listened to, his ideas always cunning but effective. He and two other members successfully pulled off their first ever fraud con, money that helped his parents and buy his first property for him and his expecting girlfriend, Sofia.

Knowing what was possible, Miguel doubled down into his life of crime and even becoming a father didn't stop his dedication to the fast money that was flowing. As the years passed and the Alvarez name grew in size, Sofia and Miguel married but the gang also was growing. Eventually, named the Renegades, had connections within drugs and small pop up businesses that continued to bring money to the table.

Not even thirty years old and Miguel pulled off his most ambitious idea, a bank robbery that hit the news with several people injured and two killed. Suspects never found. After laying low for months, Miguel emerged with Hollywood Park Casino in his ownership and the Alvarez name forever changed.

His climb to the top hasn't been easy, but the Renegades are now an entirely different enterprise to how they began even if Miguel ensured the gang continued to work within the streets of South LA, passionate about protecting not only what was theirs but the people who lived there.

As his three sons grew older, Miguel passed invaluable knowledge onto them, knowing the future of the Renegades would be in their hands. Even when Sofia was killed ten years ago under suspicious circumstances that led Miguel to believe a rival gang were the culprits, he remained dedicated to the Renegades and his sons.

He has since stepped down as the Renegades boss, entrusting Santiago to lead with all of the cunning and knowledge he taught him. Miguel no longer has any control over the gang, but he knows his opinions and input is often still followed as if he is. And now that he has more time on his hands, Miguel is able to turn his sights entirely on the Kings.

[thebleedingeffect]

Thinking about hyrules curse and all of the links relationships with their respective zeldas so :3 ye here it be!!

Twilight and Moira (-):

- Twilight and Moira have... a very complicated, messy relationship. Especially post tp.

- Neither of them have fared well whatsoever from Midna's departure and that has bled into their relationship. Moira tends to repress a large amount of her emotions and refuses to any emotion that could show any amount of vulnerability. She sees herself as hyrules queen first and person second, so any emotions she does experience are heavily pushed down. Most of her motivations are also in hyrules benefit, so as a result, she tends to have a colder exterior as well as being headstrong, stubborn even.

- Twilight has not fared Midna's loss well, not in the slightest, but he's much more emotive about his grief than Moira. His grief, depression, and anxiety hang right off his sleeve while Moira's is carefully hidden away and has been sharpened into a blade. Moira has hidden most of her anger and grief away as she believes that she has failed hyrule so many times that she cannot allow anything to get in the way of her leading her kingdom in the wake of Ganondorf's wreakage. Even her own emotions are not enough to make her stop acting in what she believes, to hyrules greatest benefit.

- This difference of experiencing the same loss has resulted in an extremely tense relationship as Moira expected Twilight to pick up the sword once more and become hyrules chosen knight. Moira sees hyrule as one that Midna helped to protect and save, so she expects that Twilight understands the importance of dedicating his life to the kingdom. Twilight, on the other hand, is so divided between worlds and loss that he hasn't even begun to imagine a life without the one person who truly understood him.

- Twilight and Moira have lived extremely different lives and upbringings. While Twilight was dedicated in saving the kingdom, he moreso did it because of his loyalty to the people within it, not the very idea of the kingdom itself. In the aftermath, Twilight has struggled in understanding the fact that he no longer feels a part of the world he once lived in.

- Twilight wasn't ready to enter into the kingdom of hyrule and Moira saw this hesitance as an insult on why Midna separated their worlds once more. Twilight saw Moira's seemingly cold, unfeeling exterior to the loss of Midna and assumed that she didn't care as much as she let on throughout their adventure. Eventually, this led to a large argument that resulted in Twilight leaving the castle on bad terms.

- In the two years since that night, Twilight and Moira had not spoken once, at least until she requested his presence at the exploration of Arbiters Grounds. Moira has heavily regretted her decision since.

Sky and Lyre (+):

- They're so in love that it's gross. Everyone knows that they're in love and have been together since the end of skyward sword.

- No real dramatic notes or anything, they're just super in love.

Warriors and Astoria (?):

- Warriors' and Astoria's relationship is complicated, messy, and them meeting at the beginning of one of the worst wars that hyrule has faced since Demise's attack hardly put their dynamic to an easy start.

- Warriors' struggles in his relationship with Astoria as he was very well aware of what exactly was expected of both him and her from early on. He was the hero, she was the princess. He was the sword, she was the guiding light. For him, it was strange hearing all of these tales about how intertwined the legend of the hero and the princess were throughout history- as him and Astoria were not that for the longest time.

- Astoria grew up knowing that she was the reincarnation of Hylia and had spent her entire life being raised into a ruler that could lead her kingdom singlehandedly. There was no such thing as leaning on others as she was the princess- the leader of hyrule- it's own guiding light. For the longest time, the only one that Astoria ever trusted was Impa and that was solely because they had been raised and taught alongside each other.

- Warriors', even for all of the greatest he was told to be, was an outsider, and Astoria only saw him as a necessary means to an end to the war. Not in a particularly cruel way, but moreso in the same sort of way she saw herself as more of a symbol than an actual leader. Warriors' was the hero, but that's all he was, and Astoria held no particular fondness for him at the beginning as she did not *know* him.

- It did not help that Impa was initially hostile towards him as Impa was furious that she alone was not strong enough nor capable enough in the goddesses' eyes to protect Astoria on her own. This resentment bubbled over onto Warriors as she was unnecessarily cruel towards him at the beginning and scrutinized his true potential as the chosen hero. Their relationship only began to change for the better when Warriors would join her in battle and be one of the extremely few she could trust to watch her back.

- Warriors' and Astoria's relationship constantly rides the line of sticking to their necessary roles and difference in status and wanting to know each other. Warriors truly does want to know her, and Astoria is deathly afraid at the fact that she has begun to trust yet another person. It's this constant push and pull as well as the tension of war that constantly has their dynamic strained. Nevertheless, they deeply trust one another, and Astoria, in particular, worries about his sacrificial tendencies. She had very good reason to.

Wild and Coreulea (?):

- MESSY !!! MESSYYY !! MESSSSYYY !!!! Wild has SO many complicated feelings towards Coreulea and has expressed exactly NONE of them !

- Secretly, over the years, Wild has remembered more and more of his life pre calamity and the overwhelming repression he experienced then. The suffocating weight of expectations and duty the moment he could wield a sword and swear his loyalty to the crown was not a memory he ever wanted to recapture. Coreulea was at the center of near every memory.

- Some part of Wild feels like he *can't* be a person when he's around Coreulea as he's always been a knight, a protector, first before he is a friend. He has a duty to defend before all else and that means any potential messy feelings that could potentially hurt her. He places her needs FAR above him and sees his own worth as an extension of her, and so, he both resents and wishes to protect her. So much of his self-worth is tied into serving others, and Coreulea is the absolute embodiment of that very idea in his eyes.

- Even more than that is... Wild secretly resented Coreulea a ton throughout the years, at least during the pre calamity era. He was deeply jealous of how Coreulea seemingly avoided the goddess at every turn and never gained her favor. Hylia chose him when he was young, and he seemingly knew how to use a sword the moment he picked it up, as if the skill was built into him. He never had a choice, he never even knew what sort of life he was being forced into before it was too late. Wild was jealous of the amount of freedom he perceived Coreulea to have, but buried it so far down that he would never have to think about it.

- Wild truly does care for Coreulea, but there's so much resentment, jealousy, and grief intertwined in the feeling that he's spent a painful amount of time hiding his true emotions.

Time and Sheik (+):

- THE BROTHERS OF ALL TIME YAY YIPPPPPEEEE YAYYYYYY YAYYY YIPPEE ^-^ !!

- Are they sorta codependent? Yes. Would they commit murder for each other? They already have. Have they gone through time just to inevitably find each other once more and live out the childhood they should've had the first time? ABSOLUTELY!

- Sheik and Time care about each other so fucking much as well as trusting each other more than anyone else in all of hyrule. They both made a promise in always returning to each other no matter what, and neither of them have any interest in breaking it.

- They just... care for each other so much, and they considered each other as brothers long before they learned that they were long-lost siblings. They understand each other more than anyone and share the same grief and love that they inherited through loss and blood alike.

- Sheik and Time for the most iconic pair of brothers and princes of hyrule of all time. Sheik can and will tear Cia limb from limb the moment he gets his hands on her because he's THAT fucking pissed about the whole thing.

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Shin Soukoku: The new generation of Double Black

This is my 3rd Bungou Stray Dogs post in a row, the brainrot is strong in this one.

This isn't necessairly a ship post, it's just dedicated to their dynamic in general! Take this as you wish<3

WARNING: MAJOR BSD MANGA SPOILERS (chapters 83-88) DON'T READ FURTHER IF YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN THERE YET!!

In this post I will be talking about Shin Soukoku because I personally feel that people don't talk about these two enough.

As we all here know, Atsushi and Akutagawa's relationship is one of the most important ones in the series, mirroring Chuuya and Dazai's relationship.

One could argue that although Soukoku and Shin Soukoku are supposed to be parallels, these two dynamics are very different from each other.

I believe that something that ssk lacks is trust. Atsushi does not trust Akutagawa, even when they are teaming up together Atsushi can't help but feel wary around him.

It's the complete opposite of Soukoku since both Dazai and Chuuya have a partnership that is based on pure trust where both of them are capable of leaving each other's life on the other's hand without a second thought.

Trust is very important in a partnership since there will be times were one of them will have to take life-risking choices while having confidence that their partner will save them.

Fukuchi even points out that if Atsushi and Akutagawa had more trust in each other, he would've been defeated.

In the following pannel, Atsushi is reflecting on Fukuchi's words and you can see how he still struggles when it comes to being able to fully trust Akutagawa, which is understanable considering the latter has tried to kill him countless of times.

It is clear that they have a long way to go to be able to perfectly mold into the 2nd "Double Black". One important step towards growth is for them to start trusting one another.

But just because these two lack trust in each other doesn't mean their dynamic hasn't improved.

These manga pannels show us two things:

Atsushi is having a relazation about Akutagawa as a person, he isn't as bad as he paints him up to be. It literally helps Atsushi get a clearer picture of him since Atsushi has always had a very clouded view of Akutagawa.

Akutagawa kept his word and actually took in what Atsushi had said about not killing people. Atsushi's words impacted Akutagawa and affected him in its own positive way.

To give context behind this pannel: Fukuchi was intending to pin both Atsushi and Akutagawa against each other, more specifically, he wanted Akutagawa to get rid of Atsushi.

Akutagawa put up an act, he started acting as if he was going to kill Atsushi when in reality that wasn't his intention at all.

Akutagawa keeps up with his act, he knows that Atsushi won't be able to "fight" him unless he is fuled by something, and in this case it was by compassion. Atsushi's compassion.

The moment Akutagawa mentioned his lung condition and how he wants to fullfill his goal of killing/defeating Atsushi therefore making Dazai proud before dying, Atsushi did not hesitate to stand up and put up a fight.

Obviously, Atsushi was not aware that Akutagawa didn't want to truly kill him and that it was just a part of his plan.

There are major things to unpack here:

Akutagawa has vowed countless of times that he was going to kill Atsushi, and now that he literally had the perfect opportunity to do so, he deviced a plan to do quite the opposite.

Atsushi was willing to comply with Aku's wishes due to the fact that he has come to an understanding of Akutagawa as a person.

Akutagawa knew exactly what to say to fuel Atsushi into "fighting" him.

They both have come to a mutual understanding. That is a significant step for their dynamic to become stronger.

Unlike Chuuya and Dazai, these two lack balance.

When it comes to Soukoku, Dazai is the one who comes up with the plans while Chuuya is more of a fighter.

(That doesn't mean Chuuya doesn't contribute with the plans but its obvious his talent is focused on combat, same could be said for Dazai, he is a pretty good fighter but his talent is centered around strategies.)

Now I believe that Shin Soukoku shares Chuuya's strenght and combat abilities. Both Atsushi and Akutagawa have been able to defeat their enemies by merging their abilities together.

But when it comes to creating strategies... They aren't the best...

Of course it's going to be difficult for them to even be at the same intellect level as Dazai's, so I don't blame them for struggling.

It has been shown that Akutagawa has the skills to become a good strategist, his overbearing emotions are what eventually holds him back.

That's exactly what Atsushi is there for though. If Atsushi was able to influence Akutagawa into making him stop killing people for 6 months, Atsushi will most likely be able to guide Akutagawa into keeping his emotions in cheek during missions.

Sigh...

Dazai, you intelligent bastard.

Of course Akutagawa saved Atsushi.

He cares for him after all.

Atsushi, if only you knew how much meaning Akutagawa's sacrifice truly holds...

I really hope that Akutagawa will be able to survive this one since in my personal opinion there is still a lot of development and progress left for not only Akutagawa's character, but also for his dynamic with Atsushi.

This won't be the end of their dynamic.

Thank you for reading, I am incredibly thankful<3

[issaxcharlie]

Ghost Of You 2/2

Pairing: Ghost! Luke Patterson x Fem Reader

Summary: Luke, Reggie and Alex have to assimilate their loss. For Luke of his girlfriend, and for the others of their best friend after suddenly learning that she didn’t have the future they imagined, and instead died 23 years ago.

Thank you to @cookiebuba for being the head of the entire idea and trusting me with it, and to Emy for almost holding my hand to force me to write🤣💜

PART 1 HERE

“It can’t be.”

“Luke, I-”

"No, Julie. You are not telling me that the woman of my life, the purest person who has ever stepped on this world, not only lost her partner and her best friends, but was only able to live her life for two more years and then ended in a horrible accident. It's as if life wanted to torture her before taking her too.”

“Love of ?... Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away. Of course.”

“I- It can’t be true, please tell me it’s not true, Julie.”

“Luke... she loved you so much.”

He falls on the floor. The impact is strong, as if his legs have stopped working.

"I know." He whispers slowly, his gaze empty as multiple tears fall from his eyes.

The rest of the gang threw themselves to the ground around him and hugged him with all their might, trying to unite his broken pieces without any success. Alex and Reggie each crying silently over the loss of their sweet friend.

“What day did she pass away? Alex whispers.

"Let me search, one moment." Julie gets up quickly and checks on her laptop to find a little note about the singer's death.

"The rising singer Y/N Y/L who had just released the biggest hit of her career passed away this afternoon in a terrible car accident after leaving the cemetery where her late boyfriend, Luke Patterson, was buried. Y/L was there in commemoration of the 2 years of the loss of the aspiring musician, who died from a sudden tragic intoxication along with the rest of his band. Something to rescue from this tragedy is that at least she's already reunited with her eternal love. May both rest in peace.”

“This can’t be. My Y/N can’t be gone. Not her, not like that.” Luke is still in denial, unable to believe that his little girl suffered such a terrible ending.

“Maybe she’s not. There's still a chance that she's also a ghost.”

“Yeah, Julie’s right. We need to look out for her, we can't write her off without trying to find her first.” Reggie's eyes sparkle with hope, rushing to cover Alex's mouth in case he says anything other than motivating.

Luke takes his flannel and disappears immediately. Both Reggie and Alex stare sadly at Julie who simply whispers a "go, he needs you." They nod and teleport to their friend.

As expected, Luke is in front of the window of an old music store. He met his girlfriend here so many years ago, the day his parents agreed to buy him his first guitar.

The store had a small section where customers could try out some instruments and she was playing the guitar they had there and singing for the small audience. It seemed like it was something she did often because both the workers and certain customers seemed familiar with the girl.

Luke was captivated by her from the first moment. The energy and passion that radiated from her in every move was unreal. He had never seen anyone happier, much less singing with a borrowed guitar from a small downtown store.

The store is completely abandoned, so without saying anything he comes in and walks towards the small stage.

The ghosts of two 12-year-old kids singing together into the microphone invades his memory. If they only knew.

"Do you remember what was the first thing she said to you?" Reggie and Alex sit next to him on the floor, looking straight at the very small stage. They both try to imagine what their friends must have looked like singing here together the first time. Luke totally invading little Y/N's presentation trying to captivate her with his 0% music experience and 100% of enthusiasm.

Luke laughs through tears. "You have the voice of a country singer."

Alex starts crying when he imagines her. He met her just a few weeks later so he knows exactly how she must have looked and sound.

Reggie smiles while shedding a tear, remembering all those afternoons Y/N convinced Luke to join them in their country sessions. He knows that's why Luke hasn't wanted to know anything about country or his songs since they got back. They remind him of his sweet girl.

“I was so offended. I still didn't know anything about music but I had already decided that I would be a rocker. If I hadn't already been so dazzled by her I would have left without looking back.”

“And what did you answer to defend your honor?”

"You think so?" The three of them start laughing while still crying. A heartbreaking mix of pain comes from their chests.

“C’mon guys, next stop.”

The three of them were teletransporting around the city during the day without any success. Luke's desperation increasing for every place the songwriter wasn't.

At night the three decide to go back to the studio. Luke is heartbroken, bloated after crying all day, eyes red and sore, and whatever it was that was driving him to continue, off.

His friends couldn't do much for him either because each was living the loss in their own way, concentrating on living their own pain until they could process it.

Julie wraps them in blankets on the couch and tries to fill them with love, making sure to hug Luke tightly, who seems about to fall apart.

“Does anyone want to talk about her? Maybe it could make you feel better.”

“She was my entire soul, the words and melody in each of my songs. I just, I love her more than anything in this world. I would give anything for her. My guitar, my voice, my songs, whatever it took for us to be together. I know it doesn't seem like it at this point, but we belong together.”

“We know you do, man.”

“I didn't tell you but I dream about her almost every night since we got back. It is always the same dream. She is in bed, leaving my side intact. She's wearing one of my shirts and hugging my favorite one while sobbing. She falls asleep listening to the ballad I wrote for her soaked in tears and no matter how hard I try to wake her up, I can't get her to see or hear me. I can’t get her. After a few minutes she gets up still asleep and begins to dance as we did so many times, but alone. Then she stops and starts crying again inconsolably. And that's when I wake up."

"I'm so sorry, Luke. She deserved so much more." Reggie walks over to hug him, his head resting on his arm while he sobs.

“We couldn't even say goodbye to her.” Alex cries, his eyes completely red.

“We already know that she visited your graves, perhaps we could do the same, dedicate a few words to her.” Julie offers in an attempt to help them find some peace.

Luke looks devastated, but he nods his head as tears continue to fall from his face, the ring that his girlfriend gave him going in and out of his finger. Alex hugs Julie while she strokes his hair in an effort to calm him down and Reggie runs up to get a notebook and pencil to start planning what to say to his best friend tomorrow.

The three of them hang around all night, crying, writing, hugging, remembering the spark of Sunset Curve. In the morning before going to visit her, they realize is exactly the 25th anniversary of that tragic night that changed the lives of the four forever. Luke nearly punches a hole in the wall upon hearing the sad coincidence.

Her grave is right next to Luke's, who has never been here before and can't help but feel a bit anxious.

“Don’t worry, I’ll start.” Reggie tells the guitarist as he takes a step forward, a small smile on his lips.

"Hello, princess. Long time, huh? I'm Reggie, by the way. In case you don't recognize me from the slight change in my hair. I am trying a little more gel, I want something more elegant and classic. What do you think? Yes, I also thought you would like it.” Julie and Alex smile at hearing him talk to her as natural as possible.

“I tried very hard to think of what to say, because if there is anyone who deserves my best words, it is you. And three things came to mind that I want to share with you.

First, the color yellow.

Yellow like the guitar you were saving for two years to buy. You did everything. You were a babysitter, you walked dogs, you worked in the school library, you sang with your old acoustic guitar in every cafe, basically everything that will let you win some money.

And the day before you could finally go buy it, my dad broke my bass in a moment of anger in one of his typical fights with mom that got really out of hand. At least he didn’t hurt her, huh? But when you're a kid you don't even think about the possibility that something like that could happen, you just focus on the broken instrument in your hand. I ran out and ended up on the stairs of your house with my face soaked and one of the broken pieces in my hand.

You hugged me and promised that everything would be fine. That I was always going to have you four and that we would always be family. You assured me that good things happen to good people. And I believed you, you know? You were always right. But now that I'm here, that I know you didn't have the happy ending you deserved, I'm honestly not so sure anymore.”

Luke and Alex start crying again, each hugging Reggie from one side. Reg tries with all his might to continue through the tears, while Julie looks at them with a broken heart.

“The next day when I came back from school a new bass was on my bed. You talked to Mom so she could take the credit for the gift, but coincidentally was exactly the bass that I fell in love with a year earlier when we went to check if your beloved yellow guitar hadn't dropped in price. Luke revealed to me a few months later that you had to borrow money from your mom in order to complete the exact money for that one.

How generous do you have to be in order to do something like that? how noble? How loving? How selfless? You were always more than I deserved. I was supposed to be like an older brother for you, but it was always you who took care of me. I have Julie and Carlos, and I'm trying to be with them as you were with me. I had the best step sister in the world to teach me, and I hope I can do you justice.” Julie starts crying too after hearing his words, and resists the urge to going to hug him because she knows that they need their space to let go all the suffering that they carry.

“Second, my leather jacket.

When we started the band we made a 100% commitment to being rockstars. And a very important part is the look. You accompanied me on a walk around the city looking for the right outfit to literally go sing to the people who were lining up in front of the clubs.

Anyone could have left me alone on that for multiple reasons, not even these two wanted to face the trouble. But you followed me without thinking twice.

The afternoon was over and we still haven't found anything. Our feet couldn't take it anymore and we had 10 minutes to run to the club. But we stopped by a little store that had a black leather jacket in the window and you said, Reg, this is it.

You excitedly took me by the hand and when I tried it on, the rest was history.

Then I tried to get the whole band to use them but these two boys without fashion sense didn’t want to. You, on the other hand, supported me and wore your leather jacket during all the Sunset Curve performances we had, convincing me that they were our good luck charms and that if we both used them everything would be amazing. Oh god, I miss you so much.

And third, a star.

I thought you were a star when I heard you sing for the first time.

I thought you were a star when you and Luke managed to write the whole Sunset Curve album in 2 months.

I thought you were a star when you bought me my bass, when you made Alex feel better after one of his strongest attacks, when you filled Luke with love and support when he needed it the most.

And I believe it now that I know you are gone.

If you are in heaven, you have to be a star. And not just a star, the brightest star of all. I promise to look for your light every night to wish you sweet dreams. I will also sing you some country since you were the only one who appreciated my incredible sound, I hope it makes you smile.”

“That was beautiful, Reggie. I’m sure she loved it.” Julie finally reaches out to hug him as Alex prepares to be next.

“Hey. I don’t even know where to start.

I- I guess I should start saying I could never pay you all the times you were there to pick me up when I needed someone the most. I went back to dancing a little again. It's not the same without you, but somehow it makes me feel you close. I also met someone, oh Y/N, he’s so special, I'm sure you would have loved him and I would have loved the opportunity to introduce him to you. You were always there.

You were there to support me when I decided to learn drums to cope with my anxiety. You sang the song I was practicing over and over to keep me company and reassure me that what I was doing sounded good.

You were there to support me when I told you I like to dance. We spent hours choreographing different iconic songs and just laughing and enjoying creating more memories together.

Not shocking at this point but you were also there for me when I confessed to my parents I’m gay and you gave me strength all those times that I wanted to fall because they no longer saw me the same way.

You were always my safe place. And I regret with all my heart that I couldn’t be yours.”

Alex breaks down. She kept them on their feet during her darkest days and they paid her off by causing her the most horrible pain imaginable. Julie and Reggie surround her in their arms while sobbing. The last one of the band standing moves closer to the grave and drops to his knees.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so fucking sorry.” Luke tries to be strong, but tears start falling like waterfalls from his eyes, his face red in a mixture of despair, sadness and anger.

“I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. Baby, I've been without you for only 1 month and I’m going crazy, even with the boys and Julie by my side. I don't even want to imagine what you must have been through those two years. My soul is shattered just thinking about it.

At first when we returned I imagined you were happy after having fulfilled all our plans with someone else. And I thought nothing could hurt me more than that, but obviously I was wrong. Because although it hurt me that I couldn’t be the one who was with you, thinking that you had been happy gave me the peace to be able to continue. Now that I know that life took away your opportunity, the only thing I feel is anger.

Anger towards me, anger towards destiny. Anger at not being able to be together even after death. Since we discovered where you are, I have only been able to think of cross over and finally be with you again.

Or at least go back to the night before everything turned into a nightmare. Fall asleep with you in my arms one more time.

I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss, as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“Hello again, my love.

I can't believe 25 years have passed. First of all, I want you to know that I'm okay. Or well, the equivalent for ghosts that are destined to haunt the earth alone for all eternity. I made a friend for several years, Rose. I told you about her, remember? I know you guys would have been good friends, she was a ridiculously talented musician. Since she died I no longer had the strength to go back to the studio, but for a long time I enjoyed her company in one of my favorite places. She promised to tell you that I'm waiting for you. I will wait whatever time is necessary, okay? I love you so much, baby.

You three are always on my mind, and I think I can finally accept that the pain is just never going to go away. But lately something super strange has happened to me, let me tell you.

Throughout these years, in the darkest days, I see you. But, they were always memories.

A month ago, I started to see you having other kinds of experiences and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. Am I going that crazy? I selfishly hoped that you too were ghosts for so many years. I looked for you 5, 10, 15, 20 years. And just as I decide to give up, my head imagines you all over the city.

The first time I saw you singing Reggie's jam on the beach. You guys looked so happy, love. It filled my heart with peace for a few seconds, knowing that somewhere up there you are enjoying life singing together all day.

Then I saw my beloved Alex with a cute boy. My heart melted, I can’t even explain how much I wanted to run to hug him and gossip about it.

Baby, he looked so peaceful. I always wanted that for Alex. I didn't know whether to be happy or cry because that didn’t actually happen, so I did both.

The penultimate time was a few nights ago when I was walking in front of the Orpheum and I heard your voices. How wicked my mind is, right? A knife to the heart would hurt less.

And now, I can't even get close to your grave because I'm imagining you all again.”

Y/N doesn't know what to do, if she gets close enough will they disappear? What If they don’t? Will she bear to see them up close? She has been dancing with their ghosts in her dreams for so many years, but It’s not the same as doing it when she is fully awake.

She is about to run out of there in fear when the silhouette of a fourth person catches her attention. She doesn't know why, but it immediately reminds her of Rose. Could it be that she is imagining her friend too?

Curiosity is stronger than fear, like all those times when she got into trouble with her boys. She walks carefully towards her grave which is next to her beloved Luke.

“I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“I don't freaking snore, I told you a million times already... and now I'm talking with my imagination, great.”

The band turns in shock towards the fifth voice. That's when she can see the girl's face and realize who she is.

“Julie? But, how?”

“Y/N?” Alex whispers on the verge of passing out.

She starts to panic, just before the boys can do something about it, a new person appears behind her.

“Hey, you took a long time." She turns around and jumps into the arms of who has become her only friend in recent years.

“Phoenix, thank god.” Her body continues to shake but she clings tightly to her friend while crying uncontrollably.

To say the ghosts are confused would be an understatement. And apart from that, the guitarist is having many conflicts with the jealousy that he is feeling at the moment. They haven't seen each other in 25 years and when they finally do, she runs into someone else's arms and clings to him like her life depends on it.

What does that mean for them? Is it too late?

“Beautiful, what's wrong? Who are they? Oh, wait. You guys were at the club a few weeks ago, you're friends with Willie, right?”

Luke feels like dying all over again hearing him call her that. She continues to shake but finally lets go.

“What? You can see them?”

“Shouldn’t I?” He looks at her skeptical and shifts his eyes from her to the ghosts.

“I- Oh my god. I'm going to pass out.“

“Baby, look at me.” Luke’s voice is a mix between a plea and a demand. The terror of knowing that perhaps he has already lost her without having had the opportunity to fight for her clouds his judgment and tears begin to fall from his face again.

25 years. 25 years fighting not to forget his voice. 25 years having him only in dreams, in memories, in melodies. 25 years waiting for him. 25 years on her own.

She turns slowly to meet those honey-green eyes she craved for so long to see, a painful smile from Luke makes her smile through tears.

She carefully lifts her right hand and gently draws it to his cheek, almost exploding at the feel of it.

“You came back. Oh my, It’s really you.” She jumps to the guitarist, entwining her legs at his hips, her arms tangled with all her strength around him, her head buried in his neck inhaling his scent. Tears coming out as if to drown her, all the pain and suffering that she faced all these years finally leaving her body.

Luke wraps her tightly in his arms, still unable to process what’s happening.

Alex and Reggie begin to smile without fully assimilating what is happening, while Julie begins to jump of joy.

“Babygirl, I'm sorry to ruin the moment but I have to rush to the club. Will you be okay here?"

“She's always safe with me." The guitarist growls, and Y/N starts laughing when she hears it.

"The jealous, protective baby in the beanie is right, don't worry Nix. I’ll go and find you later."

Phoenix nods with a smile and disappears. Julie begins to scold Luke while Reggie and Alex approach to touch the cheek of their best friend, still in the arms of the guitarist who does not seem to have any intention of letting go.

“We should go home to catch up. Reggie and I will accompany Julie, it seems that you two should speak alone first." Luke doesn't think twice and disappears with her in his arms.

“Good things happen to good people.” Reggie whispers as he hugs his friends and they start walking home.

Luke and Y/N reappear in the studio and they are both shocked for a few seconds. The girl trembles again in fear of dreaming.

“Hey, come here baby. Shh, I’m here, I promise.”

“Don’t leave me ever again, please.” He can see that it is very difficult for her to understand that is really happening, and to think that she lived without him not 2 but 25 years makes him want to cry again.

“I won’t. I promise, beautiful. Never again.” Luke wraps her in his arms, but she lifts her head from his chest to push her lips against his. The kiss is urgent, but they both instantly recognize each other and fit in perfectly. Luke picks her up again and gently lays her down on the couch, both desperate to feel the other, to recognize every inch.

“I missed you so much baby, I love you more than anything.” Luke whispers between kisses, not willing to have her an inch away from him.

“I love you my love. I love you, I love you, I love you.” She says while kissing the love of her life, happy for the first time in 25 years.

Before things get to escalate, the rest of the band shows up in the studio followed by Julie who clearly walks through the door.

"Let go of her man, it's our turn!" Y/N gets up quickly from the sofa while her boyfriend complains and she throws herself at both of them who pick her up as best they can and spin her in the air.

They put her down and Julie and her stare each other, both raise their arms and meet in a quick but sweet hug.

“You said my name back there, how?” The question that she has stuck since she met her finally coming to light.

“I met your mom many years ago when I came to visit the studio and realized that she could see me. We were friends for many years and I had the opportunity to see you grow up, but I always made sure to be upstairs when you came in in case you could see me too.”

“Well, now I understand how Carlos felt when he found out that we lived with ghosts. And It sounds like mom watches over us both from heaven.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she does.” Both girls smile and hug each other once more.

“I can't believe I endured 25 years without having those beautiful arms around me.” She whispers as they both lie on the couch, Luke has her completely cornered in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby. It breaks my heart that you have suffered that much for so many years.”

“It was not your fault. You lost as much as I did that night. Besides, I always knew that you would find me sooner or later. We belong together.”

“We do. I, I k-know we have way more to talk about but, who was the dude from the cementery?”

The insecurity in his voice is evident and Y/N can't help but smile. His emotions are complex, real, and nothing can make her happier than that.

“I’ll tell you all about my friend later, okay? For now... dance with me? I want to dance with the real deal.” He smiles and they both stand up, hugging each other as they slowly move through the studio as they did many times before life separated them.

The Luke in her arms is her Luke, the same one she has been waiting for so many years, finally back in her arms. And just as she thought when she lived, she will dance with his ghost for all eternity.

Thank you for reading✨✨

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress, @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13, @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @tessxblxckthorn

Goy tags: @eternalharry @xplrreylo

[ashxjohnny]

JOHNNY'S SONG:

I'm gonna talk about the song our gorilla is gonna sing in the musical because it's necessary. DON'T KEEP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE SING 2 SPOILERS!!!

What I liked the most about the new trailer in that moment when we can listen to the song Johnny's gonna sing in the space musical. It's "A sky full of stars", by Coldplay. Can't stop listening to these seconds because I got goosebumps every time.

His voice makes me go crazy. Please, I'm gonna pray to this performance for the rest of my life, just like I do with I'm still standing's. Taron's talent is just superior🔥

After this Johnny's appreciation moment, let's talk about his song. Here you are the lyrics.

I'm gonna look like a river because I know I'll cry a lot watching this moment for the first time. Sorry for the people who will sit around me in the cinema.

Anyway, this is obviously a love song dedicated to someone special. I think that every song has a meaning for the character who sing it. "I'm still standing" was like empowerement message Johnny dedicated to his father, who didn't trust him at the beginning and finally saw that music was his thing. Meena sang "Don't you worry about a thing" to herself because she was afraid of singing on a stage but then she found out there was nothing to fear. Rosita and Gunter sent a very important message with "Shake it off", dedicated to those who saw them as freaks but the song sums up they didn't care about people who critized them or didn't see their value, like Norman did with Rosita, and that they are great artists. Ash's "Set it all free" was her message dedicated to Lance to make him realize he will regret cheating on her and that she's a real rockstar by her own. And Mike sang "My way" because he lived many hard moments and he did it his way, acting with his particular personality.

In "Sing 2" it will happen the same. We just know that Ash is gonna sing "I still haven't found what I'm looking for", a song that describes her feelings because she wants to be a successful rockstar and she's feeling stuck in her job in Rick's club and (maybe) because she hasn't found a boy who sees how much she's worth. And Porscha will sing "This girl is on fire" because she believes in herself and her power and she wants to become an artist just like her idol, Clay Calloway.

Maybe it's not because of that but the fact that Johnny is singing a love song makes think about Ash. And not only because I ship them, but because her dress for the musical is literally full of stars, like the sky of the song. Maybe they're not canon but for me, it makes sense.

I know that their goal is not to find a love interest and that the most important thing is that they fight for making their dreams come true, but these little details make me thing about them. Sorry not sorry😁💜

Can't wait to listen to the whole Johnny's song. This movie is gonna end with my mental stability🙈🥺

[tundrainafrica]

All the HCs and side materials aside, who do you think was closer to Levi, Erwin or Hange? While there was this acker host thing with Erwin but it was debunked. Meanwhile he hasn't even acknowledged Hange's sacrifice even once so theres that too.

Oh god, so yes I have wanted to answer this ask for a while, thought of pushing it until night time today but I got locked out of the office though thirty minutes before my shift so let me just cope with the stress by giving my feedback on this because I feel like I have already explained my side to a lot of people but I’d rather have it immortalized in my blog at this point. 

Okay first question

Who do you think was closer to Levi, Erwin or Hange?

I find this question thought provoking but I don’t like these types of questions because they tend to start fights? And they tend to cause unnecessary drama both in real life and online. And relationships are so hard to quantify like of course there's a clear line between acquaintance and best friend but the nuances between siblings, lover, best friend and parent are a little more complex because we all have a lot of people we care about deeply but can we easily say who we love more?

(this is still a great question though anon, thank you for asking it.)

It’s literally like the epitome of asking ur parents “who’s your favorite child” or “who do you love more your best friend for so many years or your girl friend of like two years who you met, clicked then realized they were the love of your life.” Who will you save when in a burning building? your wife? Or your parents? Or your siblings? Your best friend?

Such problematic questions which I think a lot of us in our lives would rather never have to answer, especially in front of our loved ones. 

I am not making assumptions about what type of relationship Levi had with Erwin or what type of relationship Levi had with Hange in this post because I don’t wanna start shipping wars in this very peaceful website. (But, I ship Levihan and will probably die with this ship close to my heart so you can make assumptions about my opinions on Levi and Hange’s relationship based on that.) 

But the point is, Erurihan has always been special. Levi held a lot of people close to his heart over the years but I found that trio to have notably been the closest and Erwin and Hange have changed Levi’s lives the most. 

Would Levi have played favorites between them?? NO. Because Erwin and Hange were such different people that putting them side by side and thinking “who did Levi love more”  is like comparing apples to oranges, putting them side by side and thinking which fruit tastes better.

Because Hange and Erwin offered different things to Levi. Literally, Erwin became that next purpose for Levi after he lost his two best friends. He saw wonder in Erwin’s eyes, he saw a leader, he saw someone who can guide him to a bigger purpose and he trusted Erwin so deeply and Erwin trusted him back and even as a Levihan fan, I might actually admit that early on in the series, Levi was probably much closer to Erwin than Hange. Fine I admit it he probably was. 

But Hange offered something else to Levi. While Erwin offered a path, Hange offered wonder, curiosity. She offered Levi things to think about beyond the survey corps job. I mean Erwin was practically married to his job right. Hange was practically married to her job too but I found Hange more... approachable? Warmer overall? I mean if you actually see Eren’s interactions with the three of them or you watch from Season 1, you would realize that Hange was really the most approachable survey corps veteran from the start (other than petra).

And I think Levi really appreciated that part of her and saw it as something worth entertaining. He completely believed in Erwin, Erwin gave him a purpose in life but Hange was the one who added color to it, she actually added something beyond that purpose. She made him feel things he probably wouldn’t have felt elsewhere. 

Annoyance? Anger? Defeat at how someone could be so enthusiastic and dense? Curiosity? Someone who might have made him think that maybe, soldiering and survey corps-ing and almost being eaten by titans everyday wasn’t so bad. And maybe there is joy in the domestic in betweens?  

Another thing, here’s what Hange had that Erwin didn’t have, she had the luxury of time, she also had the luxury of circumstances on her side, of having been the only one left out of the veterans for Levi to cling on to. This made it more natural for a deeper friendship and relationship to develop between the two. So if Hange is closer to Levi than Erwin is, then it’s because of the circumstances that it made it so, post season 3.

If Erwin lived, the dynamics of erurihan would have definitely developed differently. But I never considered the possibiliy of Erwin living instead of Hange since Levi picking Armin just felt really in character and right for me. So yeah, it’ll probably stay a shallow speculation until the end haha.  

And about this second question...

“Meanwhile he hasn't even acknowledged Hange's sacrifice even once so theres that too.” 

Yo. Just a reminder, Hange died like roughly an hour or two ago manga time. Levi is literally internally bleeding, the shit show just never stopped for a second and for some reason people are expecting Levi to give a nod at Hange’s death. 

Okay yes, she did mean a lot to him. But lemme give you the explanation which has been sticking to me for a really long time.  

Levi is clowning. Like literally, I don’t think he has even acknowledged that Hange is dead yet. We have concrete hints that he is. After ‘dedicate your heart’ he just walked away and didn’t look back. It’s in the fact that he didn’t even look out the window to watch her die and in the fact that his last words were “see you later” like I’m pretty sure he’s thinking to himself “Yeah, like I know she is probably gonna die objectively but… Just, what if… she lives?? 

Just like all of us Hange stans in the website yo with our beast titan theory, Levi is just the biggest clown of us all (since he is the biggest Hange stan anyway...).  He decided (unconsciously or consciously) to ‘pretend’ that Hange’s still alive maybe until the end of the war just so that he could possibly function at least (?). 

I mean I’m pretty sure we’ve all done this in our lives. Especially when we’ve lost someone we’ve loved dearly or maybe when we’re saying good bye to someone in the airport where we’re just laughing our heads off with that person all the way until the departure gate when they say good bye and we only break down when we’re home alone. Like I’m pretty sure it’s similar for people who have lost someone, kept themselves busy with funeral preparations and memorial services and only start experiencing the loss when they go back to normal life and realize they have to clean out someone’s bedroom or fix their daily routine to adjust to the loss of that loved one.

Maybe Levi will finally acknowledge it when everything goes back to normal and he finds Hange’s office empty and he realizes he doesn’t have his buddy to have tea with every night. And if Yams decides not to write or insert that, I’ll probably just speculate it myself and keep this theory alive. 

I actually wrote a drabble about this a long time ago. You can read it here.

Anyway, thanks for reading! 

[kaisa-ryo]

Megumi Fushiguro NSFW Alphabet

Warning: English isn't my native language!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

A = Aftercare (What he likes after sex)

Nothing can be better than looking at you, studying every part of your face up close. Watch how your eyelashes tremble, how your chest rises and falls, inhaling and exhaling air. So familiar, so lovable. What a beautiful and so necessary face at this moment. From time to time he wants to run his fingers over it, remember it, photograph it. I want to look at your face for a very, very long time. Then he drops those thoughts because he needs to focus on trying to sleep.

B = Body part (His favorite body part)

Lips.

God, he so enjoys watching you bite them, lick them, paint them with glitter. This is essentially a small insignificant part of the body, but so demanding for courting and kissing. Yes, kisses ... Megumi so wants to touch them and do it yourself: bite, lick, paint with glitter ... After all, they seem so soft and delicious.

C = Cum (Everything about sperm)

Into a condom. Even if it is not always convenient and completely satisfactory with an elastic band, Megumi still prefers to protect herself. In addition, it is useless to oppose this if you do not want problems in the future. But if you ever ask him to do it without a condom, he might even agree, though not right away. First, make sure that you really want it, since he was not ready to ever do this. So don't be surprised if he gets worried during the process.

D = Dirty secret

From time to time he thinks about how you will take full control over yourself. It makes him mentally convince himself what a lustful bitch you are for him. He understands how you revel in your own perfection, how this thin erotic veil allows you to devour him with your eyes, hypnotize. It almost makes you a god. But the deity should not so protrude his sexuality in front of his beloved. Therefore, if you do so, then in the morning Megumi will throw some reproach in your direction, but at the same time he himself will remain satisfied and completely satisfied.

E = Experience

There is. If in high school he was a cold-blooded bully with a good appearance, then it is possible that Megumi had favorites back then. Not to say that, under the influence of hormones, he wanted to fuck every girl, because on his mind he had only the goal of maintaining justice with vague and false concepts. Yet he tried it once. She was a girl with high status and good connections, which were beneficial for him to achieve his goal. Sex without commitment is not the best experience that can be obtained, because apart from the pleasure of the process, you do not feel attracted to your partner. But what you just do not go to achieve the goal, right? The guy did not particularly remember that incident, but a clear understanding of the foundations of the art of submission remained.

Now he doesn't want to remember school life, because both character and actions were not sugar at all. In addition, the intentions of what then and what from now are different, one should not exceed expectations. But speaking of being intimate with you, Fushiguro has acquired a real bond that makes intercourse more sensual.

F = Favorite position

A deck chair is a great option. It seems like an ordinary missionary, but both he and you have something to hold on to. And as a bonus, he sees your face, by which he can give an accurate analysis of how well you are now.

G = Goofy (Are you serious at this moment?)

Yes. Despite the main goal of getting pleasure, it is also important for him to control it. He is not afraid to death that everything will go downhill. It's just that perfect sex hasn't bothered anyone yet. In addition, it is not at all difficult for him to do as he wants. Therefore, he feels a great need for complete control over intercourse. If everything is done correctly, he feels proud of himself, which cannot but please him.

H = Hair (Is the hair ok?)

Hygiene is as important to him as every other aspect of his life, especially if it somehow, no matter how, concerns you. You never need to remind him of this, as he himself tries to take care of the intimate area as often as possible. Therefore, he is unlikely to have problems providing comfort for both of you.

I = Intimacy (Romance)

There is. These are mostly cute things that are usually not considered very important, but for you they are like a trophy. For example kisses on the forehead, crown of the head, knuckles of thin fingers, neck and shoulders. It is like a ritual dedicated to love for your beauty and uniqueness. Even if the process is not very sophisticated, you get pleasure every time. Towards the end, you realize that you have gained much more than the warmth from light, but sensitive touch.

J = Jack off (masturbation)

There is such a thing. And you don't have to be far away. If you have not done this for a long time, but for some reason he is afraid or does not want to offer you, then do not mind masturbating to one of your photos in the gallery.

K = Kink (Kinks and fetishes)

The guy is not indifferent to your body, no matter what shape it has. Feel his smell, touch, stroke, listen until all these tenderness reaches light bites, squeezes, licks ... He feels everything much more sophisticated than it seems. And nature is such that subconsciously very subtly feels desires. Even if they are not at all.

He likes it when you walk in sexy pajamas, stockings that accentuate the shape of your legs or open clothes, although he doesn't always approve of this, because he knows perfectly well that he is not the only one who likes your body.

I like to give you different jewelry because they look so perfect on you. It is not for nothing that people say: "It is not clothes that paint a person, but a person's clothes."

For Fushiguro, this is both the main aesthetics and a source of inexhaustible pleasure, which is noticeable with the naked eye.

L = Location (Favorite places to have sex)

Not a lover of variety, so the option with a bed is the most ideal for him. Moreover, the bed is large and soft, which allows you to do a lot without any discomfort. You often feel tired after sex (unless you're a sex addict), so in the case of a bed, you don't have to worry about passing out on the table or floor. Yes, with the bed, you are subject to almost all poses!

Fushiguro is also not cold to the sofa, which is not much different from the bed in terms of sex. On it he can relax while you ride it, clutching his shoulders or pants. The sofa is also a good control plane, which can be easily used if you understand that you need to get up. It's still convenient! Why do you even need a shower and a table?

M = Motivation

When you walk around the house in the open in only panties and a bra. He doesn't like it very much, but heck, he really doesn't want to admit that he is actually embarrassed and it still turns him on. And when he comes to pick you up from home to take you somewhere, and then finds you not ready, in only one underwear, he will be indignant at why you are still not dressed, then he will turn away, covering his face with his hand and making a slightly trembling exhale. At this time, you will notice how his cheeks and ears turn red and giggle softly, pulling on a T-shirt. Once you specifically asked him to fasten his bra, knowing that it will start. After all, in front of him, a close-up flaunts your completely naked back, which you can touch and stroke. It seems that another second and he will lose control of himself and go into a rage. Holding his breath, he will begin to gently stroke the delicate skin and excitedly run his fingers up and down the spine, feeling his legs trembling from the touch. You will have to bite your lips in order not to turn around, and all this time with concentration to look in the direction where your shadows are reflected in a black silhouette on the wall a few meters away.

Also no less exciting for him is your passion for something. If you diligently write an essay, essay, read interesting books, even just tap your nails on a hard surface - he will be immersed in your actions. After all, the main thing for him is not the process of action itself, but how you perform it. When Fushiguro sees you at work, he enjoys every second of what is happening.

N = No (Which won't do)

What he considers to be risk or abnormal.

Megumi is for healthy sex and will not settle for BDSM, role-playing or sadomasochistic procedures. Especially complete submission. It does not arouse and does not cause orgasm from the word at all. He believes that such an idiotic variety was invented by mentally ill people, after whom everything is repeated for the reason of "fashion", public manipulation and self-hypnosis. In addition, in order to decide on such an idea, you either need to be a crazy psychopath, or stop respecting yourself. At least Megumi thinks so and has no doubts about it.

O = Oral (Likes to receive or to give)

In this regard, Fushiguro tries to maintain balance.

Yes, he likes to hear your drawn-out muffled moans. I like how you all wriggle under it and beg you not to stop. I like the way you cum. But it is no less exciting to see how you walk with your thin fingers along the entire length of his penis, and then clasp your lips and swallow it as deeply as possible, periodically circling the head with your dexterous tongue. Therefore, he is not inclined to prioritize. He continues to give you pleasure simply because he thinks it is right, and when he himself wants to feel pleasure, you will guess it yourself by his eyes, facial expression and swaying his hips in time with your movements.

P = Pace

As a rule, Megumi tries to do it in full force. Physical strength is still a man's trump card in love, and should not be underestimated. But it needs to be properly stimulated. Energy should not be pushed to the limit. Fushiguro was used to stretching his orgasm, speeding up and then stopping for ten seconds. Then the surge of feelings becomes even stronger. Too much speed will immediately lead to overwork, and the orgasm becomes smooth and short. It's too predictable. Of course, the guy is not a fan of variety, but that does not mean that you absolutely cannot pamper yourself, right?

Q = Quickie

Average. The most common.

And what else do you need? High speed does not allow you to feel the process properly, and low speed dampens all excitement and quickly gets bored. Medium is perfect for both of you.

R = Risk (Ready to experiment)

Not ready.

You shouldn't force him to try new sensations. This will cause him discomfort or even anxiety, which will not lead to the best outcome. Once you talked to him about this, at the end he said that he didn’t like it and asked him not to bother with this topic anymore, since even the thought of it introduces him into slight stress. Not because of the experiments themselves, but the very fact of their fear. He is currently struggling with this because he wants to be completely perfect for you. However, it is unacceptable for him that it is easy for him to control the process, but it is so difficult to start experimenting in terms of sexual relations. He will definitely deal with it. Not right away, but it will cope.

S = Stamina (Stamina)

Pretty decent

Getting pleasure is enough for both of you, so you have the strength to wash in the shower, make tea, read a book and just lie around, warming your bodies with hugs. It even happens that there is enough strength to walk along the street, restoring not only physical balance, but also emotional one. Still, a walk in the fresh air with conversations on various topics does not let you forget that your love is real and is not a farce for sexual gratification.

T = Toys

It treats all their varieties badly.

Another trinket invented by the unbalanced and sexually addicted. You both have enough and an ordinary hookup without stupid "decorations".

* In fact, once the thought flew through his head about how you would react if he shoved a vibrator into your vagina as close to your clitoris as possible. And how he later, in all seriousness, assured himself that he would not offer you such a thing for anything. Recalls a magazine article about sexual fantasies among teenagers at thirteen. As a result, having mentally slapped myself in the face, I never thought about it again.

U = Unfair (Does he like to tease)

Yes!

He doesn't like to admit it, but oh my god, how your pleading and sobbing drives him crazy. At such moments, he seems to be in seventh heaven. He would like to listen to them, but then all the pleasure from the upcoming orgasm will disappear. He wants to satisfy his desire as soon as possible, but he really doesn’t want your sweet voice to stop at such seconds ... And when you finally finish, everything inside him contracts. Because now you shout his name instead of muffled moans. It feels like he is special to you. Yes, only he can make you make a mess in your body, which was just so obedient. Only with him can you finally plunge you into ecstasy.

V = Volume (How loud is it)

At first, he is silent, as if swallowed his tongue. But by the middle it already starts to grow. But if you only knew how uncontrollable he is in the end ... although, why am I crucifying here? Of course you know.

At this time, along with orgasm, he realizes how fucking he is. So inside him begins a feverish flow of internal current, and at the same time a fire flares up in his heart, turning into a high.

W = Wild card (Random headcanon)

When you first slept, the spontaneous thought came to you to look into his phone. Nothing criminal, you just wanted to make sure you were the first.

Waking up first and looking at the phone, which surprisingly had no password, you checked the list of contacts that were not embellished in some way, and in general there were not as many of them as you expected. But you, apparently, so much enjoyed digging into his personal life, feeling like a real Sherlock, that you decided to look at Google. There already began something from which you simply could not help but emit an unrestrained laugh: more than ten tabs related to sexual relations, the structure of the vagina, the consequences of the "first time", precautions for intercourse and a bunch of other things. You could hardly restrain your laughter so as not to wake up your loved one, who apparently became a real Alpha and a sex guru in just one evening.

It's been a long time since that moment, but you still haven't admitted to him that you then got into his phone.

X = X-ray (What's under the clothes)

14.5 cm during erection ± 1

Y = Yearning (How high is the sex drive)

Megumi cannot be called “lonely-touchy-with-a-broken-heart”, but “addict” is certainly not about him. This is an unexpected manifestation of desire when he himself begins to kiss your neck, in the hope of showing your initiative. Usually you make love at your request or at a noticeable hint. Fucking you in bed, he is not looking for any benefit for it and is not chasing cheap bonuses. He thinks that he is simply satisfying his sexual need, and does not go further so that you, too, do not get hung up on sex as an important part of your life.

4/10

Z = Zzz (How quickly falls asleep)

Quickly, if you are not trying to distract him with conversations (you are not always sure that you did everything right and completely satisfied him).

If you want to annoy him with requests, for example, if you are cold and you tell him about it, he will immediately cover you with a blanket. But you are more cunning and you do not need a blanket at all, but his strong arms.

— Mmm... and I wanted to warm myself in your arms...

Then Fushiguro will roll his eyes, sigh loudly and hug you from behind.

— I want you to kiss the top of my head! — you will rather smile when he reluctantly, but still will do it.

— Will you sing me a lullaby? - then the guy will understand that further you are just making fun of him.

— Maybe you still dance?

— What a good idea! Stand by that closet.

— Sleep, princess.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

[mofieroll]

You Too (Jotaro Kujo x Fem!Reader)

Inspired from my in-character interaction with @mistaeq! Dedicated to them for motivating me to write! 💛

A Post!SDC Jotaro x Reader one shot where you bond with Holly, who you call Seiko, and pamper your man Jotaro.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Trauma

Word Count: 3k

Two years have passed since the events of the Crusaders' trip to Egypt to save the life of Holly Kujo from being taken by her own Stand. To say that the trip was memorable is an understatement. It was too memorable. The memories of built friendships and increased attachments in just a span of fifty days were unbearable, for fate made the surviving comrades of the group pay for all the joyous moments with the pain of death and eternal separation.

It was hard. Painful. Frightening. Heartbreaking.

It was excruciatingly traumatizing, that even the boy who appeared to be unbothered and distant, the boy who put an end to the cold-blooded century old vampire's curse, couldn't deny it.

Jotaro Kujo couldn't get away from the memories of his dying friends, and so, the supposed flashbacks became inescapable nightmares.

But fortunately, that was until you came.

You met Jotaro a month after he came back from his trip. The meeting was a mere coincidence as you were a year lower than him, you personally did not and had no intentions of getting to know him. It just so happened that Holly or Seiko, his mother, came across your small shop that sold self-designed accessories made from recycled materials. You had told her you search and pick the materials —mostly trash— yourself, which certainly piqued the woman's interest and told you, “Is that right? I have a son, and don't tell him I told you this, but he loves marine animals! It seems you are both fond of nature so I'm sure you'll get along— Oh! I'm sorry dear, we haven't introduced ourselves! I'm Holly Kujo, but you can call me Seiko~”. She was a sweetheart, so you saw no harm in accepting her offer that led you to become a close acquaintance of the Kujo Family.

Much to the matchmaker's Seiko's dismay, it took a year for you and Jotaro to confess that your platonic feelings are in need of a level up. She is Jotaro's mother and your first Kujo friend, of course she'd notice if something was up between you and Jotaro that you both refused to talk about! When you finally re-introduced yourself as Jotaro's.. cough.. girlfriend, Seiko was delighted and decided to treat her second favorite couple (next to her parents Joseph and Suzie) to a nice romantic dinner! The unplanned date embarrassed Jotaro, but he endured it as it gave a good start for the new level of your relationship with him.

Until then, Jotaro became more and more protective. You found it sweet knowing that your boyfriend, former acquaintance, cares about you and shows affection in ways you quite expected for a forbearing man like him. He's not a man of words nor materialistic gifts but a man of straightforward actions— yet he remained mysterious.

Jotaro has been avoiding you since the week has started. He distanced himself yet guarded you as you walked home after class everyday. Everytime you tried to catch him, he's nowhere to be seen. You started to get frustrated, and you know you wouldn't get any explanation even if you corner him and face him alone.

Seiko called you today and asked if you could have dinner wih them, which you excitedly agreed to because you were actually on the way to the Kujo household, a paper bag —which contained your newly designed rings and necklace— in hand.

With Seiko greeting you outside their gates, you entered their traditional mansion and told her about the happenings from the previous days. Even with the mention of Jotaro's sudden actions, Seiko chatted with you nonchalantly.

“Dear, you know my boy would do things that can be a little too unexpected even for me,” Seiko stated, “But if there's one thing or two that I can assure of, is that he means no harm..” You stopped in your tracks as she faced you and tucked your hair behind your ear, smiling, “And he cares for you, [Y/N]. I think, that may be his way of showing it!” Seiko spoke with softness, hopeful that her words would reach you and get rid of any confusion that would spark a misunderstanding on her stoic son's intentions.

You smiled back at Seiko with teary eyes, touched by her comfort. You pulled out the necklace from your paper bag and showed it to her, quietly telling her that it's your gift, only to receive an enthusiastic squeal and hug before you locked the accessory around her neck.

“It looks perfect on you Seiko! I wonder if I'd be as beautiful as you when I reach your age..” You sighed and pouted at Seiko, holding the paper bag on your middle.

“Oh, you!” Seiko playfully hit you as you both giggled, “You shouldn't say such things to a middle aged woman, [Y/N]! I might believe you!” Seiko joked while you insisted that you're sincere about your compliment.

Your chat continued on until she told you to run along and check on her boy, not forgetting to tease that Jotaro misses you. You face warmed in pink, which Seiko found so cute that she had to pinch your cheeks. With her positive and welcoming presence, your determination to face Jotaro fueled.

Seiko informed you that she'll be preparing dinner. You replied, “Mhm! I'll drag Jotaro and we'll meet you here at the dining room! Is that okay?”

“Okay~!”

—

Meanwhile Jotaro, who hasn't come out of his room the whole day, heard you and Seiko pass by. He was sitting in the far corner of his room but the combined voices of yours and his mother's particularly blasted through his ears. He's.. happy.. that you're both safe and sound.. but— why are you here? You should be at home! Did something happen? Did someone bother you? Wait.. did you come here alone? Didn't he tell you even before that you shouldn't go out at night? What if.. what if something happened to you? What if someone showed up and.. and took you away? Took you somewhere.. he can't reach.. What if his dreams were to happen? What if—

Knock! Knock!

Jotaro's sweating face turned to look at his door as his breathing became more unsteady. His eyes widened, brows clashed, and his mouth was agape, gasping for more air. His fists were clenched and he was trembling, who's knocking? Who's trying to get him again?

“Kujo?”

Jotaro stopped breathing for a second while his body still trembled. The voice that called him held sweetness and concern in it but he was still in a dark trance. What if someone's trying to deceive him?

“Seiko called me, may I come in?”

His widened eyes calmed, turning his tormented expression into one of those longingness. His shuddering arm reached out as he subconsciously stood and walked towards his shut door. His cold hand gripped the handle.. but he didn't have the slightest strength to pull it himself. What is he doing? He can't face anyone like this, especially..

On the other side of Jotaro's door was you, with a hand that also gripped the cold handle, waiting for the right timing to enter. Your heartbeat has increased its pace, indicating your uptight feeling of facing him after not seeing him for over a week. You were nervous and a short flashback of your first meeting with Jotaro popped up in your mind. Has it really been two years?

Jotaro never directly told you of his.. episodes. But, there were times where you just happened to observe that whenever you were late on your meeting, he immediately scoops you in a hug while he trembles; or whenever you randomly visit him on weekends and you enter his room only with a knock, he abruptly charges at you with his folded fist stopping inches from your worried face. He didn't tell you about what's haunting him, not even once. Yes, you were undeniably frustrated by him avoiding you, but you love him well enough to have the willingness to act up whilst having patience.

You waited for more minutes before speaking again, “I'm gonna enter now, alright?” You assured, carefully sliding the door behind you and turning on the light switch after you entered.

Your eyes wandered after it adjusted to the lit room, locking on the form of a slouched man in the corner, sitting with a knee up that had his arm and head resting on it while his other knee was folded. You quietly sighed and walked close to him, hiding the impatience to throw yourself at him and pepper him with kisses, mumbling i missed yous. You would have done it, but that kind of affection.. goes for later.

You sat beside Jotaro and placed the paper bag on your side. You weren't too close nor too far from him, just enough to have your hand caress his messy dark hair. You loved seeing him without his hat, seeing his flawless face be shadowless. But if he took it off, the reason is either he's agitated or.. sleep. There was a time when you told him that he should take off his hat indoors and a time you tried to take it off yourself, but he completely ignored you at both and kept the hat on.

“How are you?” You asked without expecting a reply. It was to make him acknowledge your presence, and that is because you didn't know that he's been waiting for you to come in since the moment he heard your voice.

Jotaro wanted to answer. He wanted to lock you in his arms and.. say sorry. He wanted to apologize for neglecting you but— how is he going to do that without telling you too much?

“Why the f*ck did my mother call you? I don't need any help. That b*tch.”

There it is, his method of putting up a tough facade, the swearing that would prompt anybody to think that he needs no help. It worked on you once, but you're not just anybody to him now.

“Mhm. Seiko checked up on me while I was heading home from.. somewhere. She invited me for dinner,” You informed. You didn't want to tell him that you were on your way here even before Seiko called you, knowing full well that he's against you ‘roaming’ at night alone.

You continued to comb through his hair as he answered, “For real [Y/N], I'm fine. Leave. I don't need you to stay here— or.. or something.”

Your hand lowered to his upper back and started to rub circles, “Would you look at me and say that again, Kujo?” you asked in a slightly teasing tone, trying to light up the mood.

You started humming a soft melody, a melody that somehow always soothed Jotaro. The first time you hummed it was when you were cooking dinner for him and Seiko wasn't home. He got into a fight that day and he was abnormally quiet, not the usual, resulting to a tension between the two of you. You hummed the melody to ease the atmosphere, and when you were placing his plate on the table, he suddenly grabbed your wrist and muttered an apology before he told you to ‘keep doing’ what you were doing. The melody was just random, so you did your best to remember its tone and hum it whenever you both need comfort.

And this time, he was soothed again, but he isn't going to be swayed so easily even if he wants to.

“F*cking go away.” He huffs, “You're just like the annoying b*tch. Leave me alone.”

No, stay. He stated in his mind the complete opposite of what came out of his mouth. Of course you didn't leave and continued to hum and rub circles on his back. He may be one of the harshest men you've met, but you have a counter for that. Well.. you're stubborn.

He remembered what you said about heading home from.. somewhere. Where was that? “Where were you coming from?” He asked in a demanding tone.

“Doesn't matter where I was, Kujo. You're still not looking at me.” You retreated your hand from his back and crawled to sit in front of him in crossed legs before placing your hands on his large ones, “I wouldn't mind being like Seiko, although..” You squeezed the top of his hands, bowed your body and peeked at his face where your warm [E/C] eyes met his tired yet enchanting aquamarines. Your lips quirked into a small smile, “You wouldn't want your partner to be your second mother, would you?”

Partner?

Jotaro looked at you blankly, not realizing how close your faces were, “You're still worrying about me too much, I'm fine. I'm.. I'm just remembering..” You straightened and held his cheeks, gently pulling up his face before standing on your knees. You shifted your hand and cupped his face, delicately looking at him to encourage him to speak.

In that moment where he's putting his toughness down, you've completely set aside the issue from the past week. The thoughts that Jotaro might've had enough of you because he thinks you're oblivious to his personal issues— all gone. Holly's words echoed through your mind. Mother truly knows best.

“Egypt.. friends dyi—” Jotaro cut his words and sighed deeply, “..all of it is hitting hard. You won't understand.”

You bit your bottom lip and nodded. He's right, you would not be able to understand, but that's temporary. It'll take more time for him but you're willing to wait, “I.. dream of you..” He swallows the lump in his throat while you wipe the sweat forming on his temple, “I dream of you dying too.”

With that, you were able to catch on more of what happened before you came in his life. People close to him died. People who he probably traveled with.. might have died right before him.. or not. And now he's being haunted, probably by the guilt or by the experience itself. You're still skeptical, but it's considerably clear now.

Your eyes that looked at your hand which wiped his bead of sweat shifted to his eyes, and you saw fear. He was frightened, not only by the past, but also by the possibility that he might lose you too.

You retreated your hands and sat on your legs as you and Jotaro continued to communicate through your eyes. Your heart was thumping fast against your chest, now of sympathy.

“Jotaro, I..”

This time, you threw yourself at him. Arms snaking around his neck, your face buried on his shoulder. You wrapped him in a tight hug as it took him time to return the affection, wrapping his arms around your back and pulling you even closer as he closed his eyes and basked his head on yours. You and Jotaro savored the hug for a while, not thinking about anything else aside being in each other's arms.

“I'm here.. and I'm telling you that I'll be here to love you longer than that delinquent head of yours expected.”

You broke the hug gently, a hand shifting to cup his cheek while you also reached for the paper bag. Jotaro opened his eyes as he felt you fix his sitting position so you could sit —with crossed legs— on his thighs, laying your back on his chest.

“See this?” You lifted the paper bag with both hands, giving Jotaro the chance to once again wrap his arms around your waist. He doesn't mind giving in to your touch as of now.

Jotaro grunted, “Inside this lovely recycled and eco-friendly paper bag are things that.. uhm.. how do I introduce it..” You slowly placed your head on his shoulder, putting the bag down between your legs. You contemplated as you stared on the wooden ceiling, “I know! The things.. consider it as our promise to each other, Kujo. Am I clear? Yep, I'm clear!”

Jotaro clicked his tounge in annoyance as you lifted your head from his shoulder when he was about to rest his head against yours. Why can't he just cuddle you without you moving too much? Can't you and him just cuddle in peace?

You shifted again, now face to face with him. You acted surprise when you saw his furrowed brow, “Oh? Kujo is annoyed with the mighty [L/N]?”

“Just get it over with, woman.” Jotaro supported your back with an arm, watching you as you struggled to hold his free hand with one of yours. You had set aside the paper bag, the things in it now hidden in your other hand.

When you finally settled with wrapping your small hand around his palm so his fingers were loose, you smiled up at him and swiftly leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose. Jotaro turned away, snorting to at least lessen his flustered state. Where is his hat now that he practically needs it?

Jotaro felt a cold thing graze his skin, along with what seems to be two fingers pushing the thing on his. He glanced and saw you inserting a ring on his pinky with a serious face. You were glaring at his hand, your smile only returning when you successfully inserted the ring.

You let go of his hand and was about to wear the other ring yourself when he grabbed your wrist, snatched the ring and easily inserted the accessory on your pinky, all of it with only one hand as his other arm was still supporting you.

You were taken aback, ready to question him when he pulled you into a bridal position and locked your upper body with his arms within a second. You chuckled instead of saying a thing, wrapping your arms around his torso.

“Keen for a cuddle, huh, Kujo?”

“Good grief. You're one brave woman to challenge me.”

As you and Jotaro became ignorant to your surroundings, a flash of a camera resided from the slightly opened door, the sound being followed by a muffled kyaaah! which, with no doubt, came from the adorably giddy mother of the impatient man in your arms.

[End!]