#and deciding that a certain behavior is unnecessary
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detectivebambam · 11 months ago
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a very terrible evening to
people who ship riko moriyama with anyone, people who hate kevin day, people who think neil josten is soft, people who think the twinyards are skinny, people who attack nora, people who draw the girls without muscles, people who think killing abusers is wrong, people who have anything bad to say about david wymack, people who think andrew is a sociopath, people who think alison is a bimbo, people who think nicky is an innocent cinnamon roll, and people who ignore the foxes flaws in general
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violet-eng · 10 months ago
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F!reader spoils Lil Dragon!Zhongli... at first | Fluff🧸 (with dragon)+ 🔞 (with human Zhongli)
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🎨by: @nagarnia_art and @JeanGreyCG
Summary: You're doing some research in the woods, looking for certain minerals, when you feel some tiny tiny eyes staring at you. After Zhongli morpps from a dragon to a human, things get a bit... hot...
Tw: with human Zhongli smut 🔞, PIV. Insinuations of breeding season, with dragon Zhongli just some cute Dragon behavior bc I ended up traumatized after writing some angst.
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Your research is going well. Your reports to the Fontaine Science Institute were successful during your last expedition, earning you praise from your superiors. You have been living in Liyue for over six months. After learning about minerals that can emanate energy, you sought out information to educate yourself on the subject. 
The rocks in Liyue seem to have a memory, possibly due to the work of their Archon or as a natural result of high evolution and energetic vestiges from ancient wars. 
Zhongli, the Parlor consultant, had told you about a spot at the foot of a valley that might interest you, and you were amazed. You had no reason to doubt the man's wisdom. You had formed a deep bond of friendship with him because you admire his extensive knowledge about everything. You set off almost immediately. He had offered to accompany you, but you had refused because you prefer to do your research alone, surrounded by nature and away from the attractive distraction that Zhongli could become.
Your friend is attractive, in a way that you tried to express in your letters to your friends at Fontaine, but never succeeded. Your banal words and names do not do justice to the physique of this man of unshakable character, steely sense, and tenacious gaze. You could not bear to make a mistake in his presence during the expedition, not because you were clumsy, but because his figure moved your senses, your ground, and betrayed your own perceptions.
So, as you walk through a pleasant area of foliage, covered by the fierce, scorching rays of the sun, you decide to let your guard down, to take off your jacket and your gloves. You use a ribbon to tie up your hair as you walk on, arriving at the place Zhongli had shown you beforehand. The passage is strangely comfortable, very suitable for a quiet investigation, full of strange figures of small rocks of irregular and curious shapes.
Under the canopy of large trees, you spread out your arsenal of tools on the grass, put on your protective visors, and get to work. Sequencing the rock profile takes little time, your agile skills allowing you to avoid unnecessary pauses or clumsy backtracking typical of an amateur. Then you take the samples, tiny particles that do not alter the correct and productive nature that King Geo has protected for years, and while you wait for the filtering to finish, a strange sensation runs down your spine.
You had let your guard down during your experiment, letting the peaceful appearance of the place convince you, something very unprofessional on your part. So you turn to the side and feel a presence. Among the bushes, you spot a pair of curious little spheres, and you jump as the leaves rustle in the presence of an unknown being. 
A deep relief washes over you as the creature in question appears on the scene. A small dragon, microscopic in physiognomy compared to adult forms, with curious eyes and a golden tail twisted into a spiral. Its little paws make furrows in the ground, its face dejected, as if it had been caught doing something illegal.
"Little one, have you been watching me all this time?" You ask the cute little creature, who hides his head between his front paws, realizing he can't do it with his tail, which isn't long enough.
"Come here, don't be afraid of me," you whisper, approaching it cautiously, holding out your hands.
The dragon gathers itself in its own anatomy, growling low, sounding almost like a common cat, you can't help but laugh at it. You bring your fingers up to the growling pellet and stroke its head, right between its underdeveloped horns. You notice a puff of breath coming from the little guy's nose.
"How cute, you liked that, didn't you?" you laugh as you stroke his head and then his back, causing the miniature dragon's tail to wag.
"Come, sit with me, we'll have to wait a long time until the filtering is finished," you take him in your hands, on your palms.
"Wow... I've never seen one of your species so small... and those scales," you comment, bringing your face close to the reptile's, "I'd swear you have very, very soft skin, you're very rare, uh," you add, while you turn to your tools, which emit a strange smell.
You leave the dragon on the ground and approach your machinery, no, nothing out of place... well, now you can turn your attention to the little guy who... what is he doing?
You notice the tiny creature rubbing against your foot, making strange squeaks. It's... it's mating with your shoe? You burst out laughing and shake your foot, pushing it away and picking it up again.
"You horny little bugger," you say, poking him in the nose, "I forgot that your species is in mating season. I regret to inform you that you will get nowhere with me, I am not of the same species... ours is impossible."
A sad sigh escapes from the little animal's chest, and you notice how its whole face becomes depressed, its horns and ears seem to droop in deep disappointment.
"Don't cry," you say, putting it on the ground in the grass and lying down in front of it, "we can play if you want, to distract you a little”.
That got his attention, because he looked at you again. He walks up to you with his little paws and puts one on your nose, he starts to sniff you with that little button in the middle of his little face.
"Ohhh... do you want a little kiss?" you ask, flooded with tenderness, "I would do anything to make you happy" you say, placing a tender kiss on the dragon's forehead. Is like a puppy...
The dragon retraces his steps, accelerating and rolling his head in madness. You see him writhing in place, as if he had suddenly fallen ill, and then... poof... a golden flash and a trail of smoke,  ike the one he had just exhaled through his nose. A faint wave of heat and a faint smell of sulfur as a figure began to form behind the column of smoke.
You straightened up in your seat as the column disintegrated, revealing the very embarrassed image of Zhongli, covering his mouth as he coughs, with traces of smoke and golden flames escaping from his throat.
He is wearing little clothing, a tunic of the same color as the skin of the dragon you spoke to earlier... is that perhaps...? 
"You," you point an accusing finger at Zhongli, and he looks at you with flushed cheeks, "what was that? Aren't you going to say anything about it?" you say to the man, appearing to be annoyed, although in reality, seeing him in that outfit has aroused something pleasurable in you.
"Well?" you insist.
"Are you going to give me that kiss or?" he interjects, his voice still weak and embarrassed.
His embarrassment fades for the next hour, during which he relentlessly thrusts himself into you, waiting for your boring explorer machine to end.
The filtering of the rocks continues, the particles falling into the vessel like sand in a crystal clock. The small machines emit tiny clicks and a faint plume of smoke and gas. The rumble of the cycle's drumbeat advances in rhythm with your moans as you feel Zhongli sink deep into you.
You lie on the grass, your pants and panties around your ankles, your hands on your head clinging to the foliage, your waist encircled by Zhongli's large hands holding you steady so he can work his way into your pussy. You feel his pelvic bone against your center, his balls against your skin, and then he pulls away to enter again. Gently, lovingly, afraid to break you and hurt you. He's painfully slow, but how good it feels.
You hear him make low, rasping noises as faint plumes of smoke rise from his nose, as when he looked like a dragon. His cock twists inside you, slapping against your cervix, massaging your wet, warm depths that mold to the shape of his member. You feel the warmth rush down your legs, an electric current coursing through every fiber of your limbs, your chest heaving in desperation.
The orgasm hits you both at the same time, decorating Zhongli's cock with a white ring as his cum spills into you like thick ropes from his ecstasy. He pulls back your panties and pants, leaving a chaste kiss on your cheek.
"May I mark you?" he asks with a look of honor, his face sublime and devoted.
"Don't even think about it," you say, joining in, noticing the sadness in his eyes, "we weren't even supposed to do it. It was just supposed to be a kiss and that's it," you seem to scold him, though it's you who's scolding yourself for being so unseemly and impetuous, though damn... you've enjoyed it so much... ....
Sensing your hostile tone, Zhongli wraps himself up and immediately transforms into his small reptilian form.
"Please stop being so dramatic," you express, leaning against one of the tree trunks and letting out a laugh. "Come back... I don't want to wait alone," you say, crossing your legs and putting your jacket down.
Zhongli, the dragon, approaches you with short steps, due to the length of his small legs, and climbs onto your lap, where he rubs the fabric of your coat, nestling into the fabric to take refuge, and lets out a yawn before closing his eyes and settling down for a nap. You stroke his back and coo to the little creature, feeling him purr like a cat.
"How cute you are when you sleep," you laugh, stroking his nose, causing him to bite your finger, "did you just mark me without my permission?" You ask, but he just squeals and jumps off your lap, looking for a way to escape. You catch him with your coat and throw it at him like a fleeing rat, but he manages to escape and hide in the bushes... you don't see him again for the rest of the afternoon, but you know that when you return to Liyue Harbour you will demand an apology, an explanation... and maybe a round two.
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thornybubbles · 10 months ago
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Fourth Wall (JJBA Yandere Scenario)
Scenario: Recently, you’ve moved on from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure to a different anime series and fandom. You realize that this was a terrible mistake.
Note: This is based on a prompt I saw on Tumblr ages ago. I just expanded on it a bit. 
Warnings: Typical Yandere behavior, threats, abusive behavior, possible harm towards reader, mental distress, anti-comfort. Remember that you alone are responsible for what you read. 
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Changing fandoms wasn’t that unusual for you. You would find a new anime, fall in love with it, then it became your new hyperfixation. After a while, the process would repeat. This is what happened with you and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. It wasn’t that you didn’t like the series anymore, you just moved on to a new anime/manga. Still…it felt different this time. You weren’t sure why, but ever since you moved on to your new favorite series, you had this unexplainable feeling of guilt wash over you every time you watched an episode of your new favorite anime or read the latest chapter of the manga. Stranger still, there was an underlying feeling of dread as well. 
As many times as you’d changed fandoms, you’d never experienced such feelings before. It was uncomfortable and you wished that you could move on to your new obsession without any strings attached. It was ridiculous, really. Why should you feel guilty about a change of taste? You weren’t hurting anything. No one would be affected by it. And yet, you still felt unnecessary shame over changing fandoms. You guessed it had something to do with the lingering attachment you had for certain characters from various parts throughout the series. It almost felt like you were leaving them behind somehow. Another silly notion. They were fictional characters and did not exist outside of the world within JoJo. They had no knowledge of you, much less having knowledge of your “betrayal”. You decided that it was stupid to dwell on it and dived headfirst into your new favorite series. That guilty feeling would surely fade after a while. 
You got the perfect opportunity to binge your new favorite anime one day. It was one of those days when you were fortunate enough to have nothing to do. All of your responsibilities had been dealt with and you had no plans other than to sit on your ass and watch your new favorite show until bedtime. Sure, you could go out with friends, but you really just wanted to chill by yourself for the day. So anime binge party it was. You made a comfy nest of blankets and pillows on the couch and set up your laptop on the coffee table. You got some snacks and a drink, made yourself comfortable on the couch, and pressed play on the screen. You relaxed into the softness of your pillows and blankets and immersed yourself in another world for a few hours. 
About ten episodes in, you had to go to the bathroom very badly. All of that soda you’d drunk was taking its toll on your bladder. You paused the video, untangled yourself from your blankets, and stiffly power-walked to the bathroom. Once you relieved yourself, you washed your hands and went back into the living room. You snuggled back into your blanket burrito and reached over to start the video, but something wasn’t right. On the screen wasn’t the anime you’d been watching. It was the first episode of Phantom Blood. 
What…???
Did you accidently click the wrong thing in your haste to pause the video and rush to the bathroom? 
That had to be it. 
It was the only thing that made sense. 
You clicked off of the JoJo episode and went back to the previous page which took you back to the episode of the new anime you’d been watching. You found the place in the episode that you left off on and pressed play. You settled back in your comfy nest and watched the rest of the episode. You watched for another hour or so. During the opening of one of the episodes, you suddenly found yourself watching the opening for an episode of Battle Tendency. You sat up straight and stared at the screen in shock and confusion. 
“What the fuck?” you muttered under your breath. 
You refreshed the page and the episode started properly. That’s the second time your video was suddenly changed to an episode of JoJo. The first time you assumed that it was because of an accidental click but now you weren’t so sure. You hadn’t been touching anything when it happened the second time. All you were doing was staring at the screen when the switch happened. Why did it keep happening? Some kind of glitch with the streaming service? You didn’t know, but it was a bit annoying. You hoped that wouldn’t be a constant thing while you were trying to watch your show. 
The rest of the day went by without further incident. Eventually, you noticed that it had grown dark and you decided that your day of doing absolutely nothing needed to come to a close. You closed your laptop and reluctantly pried yourself off of the couch. As much as you wanted to just lay there in your blanket nest, you knew that you’d get a much better sleep in your bed. So you hobbled off to your room; your mind on nothing but getting a decent night’s sleep. 
You woke up a few hours later with a dried out mouth and an aching throat. You swallowed a few times, wincing at the sandpapery feeling of your tongue against the inside of your mouth. Well that’s what you get for sleeping with your mouth wide open. You flung the covers off of you grumpily and climbed out of bed. You stumbled into the kitchen, not daring to turn the light on and submit your sleep sensitive eyes to an onslaught of painful luminosity. You made your way over to the counter, grabbed a glass, and staggered over to the sink. As you were filling the glass you suddenly had the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. You assumed that it was your sleep fogged brain at work. After all, part of the reason you woke up was because you were having a disturbing dream. You tried to remember what the dream was about, but you couldn’t piece the memories together to get a full picture. You just remembered being in a place that made you uncomfortable and meeting someone that was familiar to you, but their presence frightened you. You just couldn’t remember the details. It kinda made you want to stay awake for the rest of the night but you decided against that. You knew you’d feel like shit the next day if you didn’t get back to sleep. There was nothing worse than waking up with a splitting headache due to lack of proper rest. You downed the glass of water and put the empty glass in the sink. 
You suddenly became aware of a strange odor in the air. What was that smell? Smoke? God, was something burning?! You took another sniff of the air and recognized the smell as specifically cigarette smoke. Okay, so that meant that your house wasn’t burning down. That was good news, but why would you be smelling cigarette smoke? The only way you would be smelling cigarette smoke is if it were coming from in the same room as you…
You heard the sound of rustling fabric from somewhere behind you. You spun around and immediately spotted the outline of someone sitting at your kitchen table. You could also make out the small glow of a lit cigarette sticking out of their mouth. As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you could make out some details of the figure. They were large, broad shouldered, and wore a long white coat, and on their head rested an oddly shaped hat. In the miniscule amount of light in the room you could make out the glint of gold accessories on both their hat and coat. 
“No way…” you gasped in a quiet voice. “No way in hell…” 
The figure lit a lighter and held it to the wick of the candle that was located in the middle of the table. Once the candle was lit fully, you could see the figure better. It was as you expected, Jotaro as he appeared in part four was sitting at your kitchen table, glaring at you as if you were less than dogshit. 
“You recognize me?” he scoffed and took another drag from his cigarette. “I’m surprised. I thought you forgot all about me… about us….” 
You backed up against the counter, unable to believe what you were seeing and hearing. 
Jotaro glanced down at the cigarette in his hand. He held it up in front of him. 
“This is your fault, you know.” he sneered. “I quit smoking, but after you abandoned us, I started the habit again. I’ve been tolerant so far because I was stupid enough to think that you’d come back eventually. Maybe you were just taking a break and you’d come back when you were bored… that was my stupidity. I’ll own up to that. But when I realized that you’d thrown us aside like trash, well, I got pissed. I guess I took up smoking again just to stay sane…” 
You were so appalled at the fictional character seated at your table that you hadn’t been paying much attention to what he was saying. Slowly the words began to filter into your mind and of everything he said, one thing stood out the most…
He said “us”. He said that you had abandoned “us”...
That’s when you became aware of the other figures lined up behind Jotaro. 
You could make out their shapes and features in the candlelight. Jonathan stood there looking as utterly brokenhearted as a man could be. Joseph had a smug grin on his face as if he’d just caught you committing a crime. Josuke’s face was contorted in a vicious snarl while his fists were clenched by his sides. Ever so often his left eye would twitch indicating that he may be on the verge of a psychotic break. Giorno offered you a placid smile that was off putting when set against the coldness of his eyes. 
Your eyes darted nervously from one face to another before finally settling back on Jotaro’s. It was too much. You pushed away from the counter and ran out of the kitchen. A voice that probably belonged to Jonathan called out for you to stop but you paid it no attention. Luckily the kitchen was right next to the front door. Once you were outside, you could run to the neighbor’s house and get them to call the police. You wouldn’t dare tell them the truth. What would you even say? You couldn’t tell them that five fictional characters from an anime had invaded your house. They’d think you were on something. You would just tell them that someone had broken into your house. That’s all. Honestly, you didn’t know what the hell the police could do against them, but you didn’t know what else to do. You reached the front door but your hand froze just as you were about to unlock the door and yank it open. 
Two people were staring down at you from the window in the front door, two people you recognized. Kars looked down his nose at you with a haughty expression. He looked ever so much like a strict parent that had just caught his kid trying to sneak out of the house. DIO on the other hand had the most sadistic smile on his face. He made a “come-hither” gesture with his clawed hand as if he fully expected you to just open the door and throw yourself at him. Their eyes glowed with a hellish light and you couldn’t take the sight of them. You screamed and backed away from the door. As you stepped back, you saw two other familiar faces staring at you from the windows on either side of the door. Doppio had one hand pressed against the glass while the other hand held a rock from the garden to his ear as if it were a cell phone. One of his eyes had changed to a jade green color and glared at you with intense rage. His other, normal eye had a pitiful, disappointed look in it. From the other window Kira stared at you with an utterly emotionless expression. You didn’t dare speculate on what kind of thoughts could be going through his head at that moment. You screamed again and started to turn and run towards the back door…
“Star Platinum!” 
Suddenly you were held tight in an iron like hold. An invisible hand covered your mouth preventing you from screaming anymore. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that you were being held in place by Jotaro’s Stand. Struggling in Star Platinum’s grip was useless so you just hung there in midair as Jotaro approached you. 
“We weren’t done talking.” he snapped. 
He leaned in slightly and you got a whiff of cigarette smoke mixed with cologne. 
“Now you listen and you listen good,” he started to say. He held up a single finger.
“One. Just one more chance. That’s all you get. Come back to us and there won’t be a problem. Leave us again and it will get ugly.” he said, glancing up at the villains peering through the windows. His upper lip curled in disgust when he locked eyes with DIO and Kira, but only for a moment before his eyes were back on you. 
“Is that understood?” he asked. 
You nodded your head, whimpering behind Star Platinum’s invisible palm. 
“Good.” 
You don’t know what happened after that. You just woke up in your bed with a pounding headache. 
“Fuck…” you groaned, pressing your hands to your temples. 
You felt awful. You could only guess that you just simply didn’t sleep very well. Damn nightmares. What was with that dream? Was it all because you felt guilty about leaving the JoJo fandom? You grumbled and rolled out of bed. You were going to need to take something for that headache. First you needed to get a glass of water. You stumbled off to the kitchen getting an uncomfortable feeling of deja vu. The moment you entered the kitchen, your eyes glanced to the kitchen table and you nearly fainted. 
The candle was out, but it was smoking as if it had only been put out mere moments ago. The cigarette butt that rested on the saucer that had been used as a makeshift ashtray was also still smoking. 
That night you made it a point to sit down and watch a few episodes of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure starting with Phantom Blood. You planned to rewatch the entire series from the very beginning all the way to Stone Ocean. With each episode you watched, you noticed that ever so often a character’s eyes would slide over towards you as if making sure you were still there, watching them. Sometimes it would be one of the main characters. Sometimes it would be one of the villains. Sometimes it would be a side character. Regardless, they all kept checking to see if you were watching. Every day, you would make it a point to watch at least one episode of JoJo, no matter what. You didn’t dare skip out on your daily dose of JoJo. You also never went back to the other anime you’d been watching after you left the JoJo fandom. No, you learned your lesson. You were familiar enough with Jotaro’s character to know that he only gave people one chance and no more. Just like with Rubber Soul and Steely Dan. He gave them both a chance to leave mostly unscathed but they both decided to turn on him at the last minute. They both were punished severely. You weren’t going to make that same mistake. 
So you sat there on the couch, stiff and terrified as you watched your “favorite” anime… 
… like a good little fan should…
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kaledya · 7 months ago
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How does Adam and Lute view Charlie?
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I'm still planning this AU, so what I'm saying is not certain and I am someone with really bad writing skills, but I will try to briefly explain what happened in this AU. Here's what happens. In the 1st episode when Charlie meets with Adam, the events do not develop as in the series, in general,
Adam has a serious attitude towards charlie, after charlie tells him the plans in a serious and detailed way, Adam briefly tells her that sinners can never experience redemption, that people who have made simple mistakes cannot be in hell, that people who are in hell deserve this pain and that they will continue to burn in hell unless they take back their sins. He also says that the real reason for the extermination in this AU is overpopulation and because of that,
Adam tells Charlie that if they don't do their job and the extermination ends, hell will be in a much bigger chaos than the chaos it is in now. He also tells Charlie that even if he and Lute accept the idea of redemption, it won't change anything, They can't decide what will happend, and then he says that there is nothing more to discuss and asks Charlie to leave.
(in this AU, Adam and Lute despise sinners and think Charlie's plan is illogical, but even though their attitude towards Charlie is cold and serious, they do not hate or insult her, they think it is unnecessary to insult someone who is trying to correct their father's mistake)
(In this AU, Adam and Lute are not evil, they are gray characters and their evilness depends on the point of view. Lute is an angel created for this job and he was raised to believe that what she did all her life was justice, so there is no reason for her to feel pity for the sinner. Except for his behavior in hell, Lute is really respected and loved by the other soldiers. Adam is a man who regrets the man he used to be, a man who has been changed in 10,000 years by the events with Lilith, and during this time he never pitied the sinner, because according to him, they were sent to hell by God's judgment).
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etherfabric · 5 months ago
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Compliments from Spirit - What are you doing right?
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Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.
If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.
You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.
Pile 1
4 of Swords, 4 of Cups, The Magician
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Spirit is complimenting you on your restraint and how well you center yourself. You learned your lessons around excessive, fear-fueled activity, how it wears you down without any payoff, and you take those lessons to heart. Your body's need to rest has become your wise friend and guide to consider, instead of your mortal enemy to defeat. You thank your emotions for telling you where you strayed from your authentic path, you honor the little pains and stings along the way just as much as the pleasant surprises. It's like in an airplane, where in an emergency, the little lights left and right on the ground lead you to the nearest exit back to safety when you can't see otherwise. Your symptoms are your loyal companions you are listening to with patience and intent. You are not rushing yourself anymore to an unobtainable future, you are honoring what you already have and don't fall for FOMO.
What is truly yours won't want you to strain and hurt yourself. What is truly yours loves you and has no problem waiting for you.
This approach gives you authentic, reliable bouts of energy you can channel towards what is truly important to you. It's marvelous how little effort compared to the past now yields these beautiful results that seemed so far out of your reach. You feel empowered and have found a new sense of patience with yourself and the Universe at large. You recognize your own struggles in others, and know that their limits are not meant as a personal insult. They are on their own path to their true calling just as you are, and Spirit can see the compassion you have for them. Continue seeing the big picture and your part in it. Time is on your side. The Universe likes your new, slow, conscious approach, and is happy that you have found the wisdom in your limits; that they were your private teachers all along.
Pile 2
Strength, 2 of Wands, The World
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You have found a whole new level of self love. Things that used to make you cringe are seen in a completely different light - you see your good intentions, and that most of the times, it is other people's opinions you internalized that you feel when expressing yourself. And even if you come to your own conclusion on how you want to change certain aspects - you don't use these discoveries as a stick to beat you with anymore. You have developed a profound capacity for self compassion. You see your desperate needs no one felt responsible for in the past, how hard you had to try because nothing was given freely where you come from. Okay, yeah, you exposed things you wouldn't expose in the same context today. But now you can thank yourself for it, because you see how it was the only option back then with what you had and knew. And it was good enough to eventually get you here.
You were desperate to find connection, friends, someone who cares for you. You offered all these things so they could pick and choose where to connect to you. You are a generous, love-oriented being, always have been. The judgements others places on your past and present behaviors come from a limited, competitive point of view you can no longer hold without feeling the unnecessary pain of it. It just feels disingenuous towards yourself. You know too much about where you come from and who you are because of it, what drives you, what you are looking for in life, to mindlessly punish yourself with these false accusations.
You send the shame back to where it came from, and are free to give yourself the love you crave and deserve.
You dared to look inwards, despite all the shame. You thought you would find a hideous monster, a waste of every resource ever coming their way - and found a being of light. Capable of so much goodness to give, the only sensible conclusion is to provide them with everything they need, and foster relationships with only likeminded supporters. I mean, it's a true miracle. In the past there was really no one around who took you as part of themselves, who considered your best interests just as important as theirs - and now look where you are! Who you are with! How peaceful and exciting, and liveable this life has become. Spirit couldn't be prouder. So much more is waiting for you. The hard part is definitely over.
Pile 3
10 of Cups, The Empress, 3 of Wands
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Spirit compliments you on your willingness to receive. Gone are the days of guilt tripping yourself over morsels. Now you feast, daily. This routine allows you to live in a perpetual cycle of abundance. You feel good, because you go after what you know you deserve. And you go after what you deserve, because you know it makes you feel good. You no longer hold yourself up with questions whether to go after comfy OR practical - you know which way you can get both. And most important of all: You stopped making yourself smaller than you actually are supposed to be. All your needs and wants come from a sacred place, and you have seen it for yourself.
This brings great relief to your interpersonal relationships. Your clean conscience translates into generosity and letting miniscule hiccups slide with ease. Remember how tiny mistakes used to trip you up for days on end? Now you don't even need seconds to process them as the background noise they always wanted to be. You know what truly matters and don't let yourself get confused by smoke screens. People either mean it, or they can fuck right off. Those who mean it bask in your warmth, and those who don't just aren't getting invited to the party that is your life now. And boy, do you know how to host.
The people around you feel like on a constant vacation with you. Comfort and fun are sacred priorities, and everybody is important.
They can contribute their perspective in an environment of trust and good faith. Your spontaneity is met with keen support, and fate plays just the right song to elevate the atmosphere even further. Continue getting a full plate everyday, there will always be more where that came from. As long as you don't let your impostor syndrome get the better of you, I don't see an end to this joyride for quite some time.
Pile 4
The Fool, Queen of Wands, Seven of Cups, The Hanged Man
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Spirit is complimenting you on your masterful ability to adapt. Like a surfer, you read the currents of life flowing in and around you with expertise and diligence. You know some days the ocean won't bring you anything exciting, and muddy waters might not be the best to dive through, but you got time and can wait. You know the mud holds important nutrients that need to find their way in their own time. Just like when your head is full of random thoughts you can't seem to channel into anything useful - you know how to embrace it, rather than fight against it and stir up the water even further.
Now you have the confidence to know when to do nothing at all. And suddenly, the mud settles back at the ground, and you are free to dive right in. The most subtle changes can't slip past your perception, and you know which waves you can use to your advantage, and which ones would just drag you down without any mercy. Your confidence in your skills lets you marvel at the forces from a safe distance rather than cower in paralyzing fear.
What used to feel like cruel randomness, now reveals itself as divine orchestration. And all you had to change was your perspective.
Even your darkest times of despair have finally told you their secret: They are the soil you are growing on. The fallen leaves of past hopes and dreams are the soil for what is real now. The destruction of the past turned out to be a vital step in the recipe. Like Rumi said, the wound is where the light enters you. Now, when you are faced with a so-called dark aspect of life, you are alread curious how and when the benefit of it will come into your reality. It doesn't erase the pain, but you don't even want that anymore. It tells a story that makes you glad to be alive, rather than feeling like a victim to your own birth. It makes you want to see how it will turn out, rahter than checking out prematurely. What a marvelous, marvelous development. Spirit is so glad you are still here.
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risuola · 1 year ago
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Yoohoo!! Love your work, darling!
May I request a Megumi X reader for 22, 33, and 34?
Smut is optional honestly, free wheel!
Angst would be there I suppose.
Cheating? As you wish.
Violence and darkness? All up to you, darling.
I hope you have fun writing!
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ALL MAD AND POUTY — F. READER x FUSHIGURO MEGUMI
Megumi might not be the best in expressing his feelings, so it's no wonder why when he saw you getting up close and personal with his best friend Yuji, he got all mad and pouty.
cw: angst, characters are aged up to 18+, cheating implied, hurt and blood briefly mentioned, fluff at the end — 2,1k words
PROMPTS: 22. You’ve got what you deserved. 33. It’s not what it looks like. 34. So, you cheated with my best friend?
a/n: thank you for the request! it gave me a chance to write for Megumi, so for me it's a win :3
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"Why didn't you use your divine dogs?" you coughed, frustration evident in your voice as you pressed your hands onto the deep wound on your side, trying to stop the heavy bleeding. It was easily avoidable; you wouldn't have had to suffer the blow if your boyfriend had reacted as he usually did. But he looked at you from above, his eyes piercingly cold.
"I've decided they're unnecessary," he shrugged, unfazed by the crimson that was slowly soaking through your clothes. "Shoko will probably heal you, it doesn't look critical."
"Wow, that's great, thanks Megumi," muttering, you collected yourself from the ground and went straight to the car, so that Ijichi could drive you back to the high school and you could seek medical help. Fushiguro followed and in the back seat, you leaned against his shoulder, trying to find some comfort in the pain that pulsed through your nervous system, but he flinched the moment your head rested on his body.
"Can you sit up straight? I'm kinda tired."
"And I'm bleeding. What's the matter, Megu?"
"Well, you got what you deserved."
"What I deserv- what does that even mean, what I deserved?" you couldn't believe what you were hearing. One thing you were certain of – Megumi was angry and you had no idea why.
Two days had passed since Megumi had deliberately refused to help you on the battlefield. Your wounds were messy, but Shoko managed to treat them so well that you couldn't feel much more than subtle discomfort in your side, and to be honest, you were more consumed by thoughts of your partner's unusual behavior than anything else. Back in the car, he avoided any further conversation, turned his body to the window, sneering and paying you no mind for the entire ride, and you gave up trying to force the issue. When you arrived, he simply went his way, leaving you covered in blood, fortunately in the hands of Ijichi.
But his act had to have a reason, he wouldn't go all mad and pouty for nothing, and he certainly wouldn't endanger you for nothing. Well, you liked to think he wouldn't put you in danger even if you suddenly became his enemy, but things apparently changed.
"Megumi, may I?" you asked, knocking lightly on his door and pressing the handle, only to find that he locked the entrance. "Hey, Megu, we should talk."
"Do we have anything to talk about? I'm a little busy," his voice reached your ears from inside the room, a tone indifferent and cold, but you knew better than to believe it. There was a subtle undertone of hurt in both his voice and his demeanor, and the fact that you might have done something to hurt him sent you into a spiral of guilt and panic attacks. You spent two nights unable to sleep because of the raging thoughts in your head.
"Please talk to me, I need to know what happened. Hey, baby?" you tried, knocking again, this time softly, just to let him know that you're close and waiting. "Megumi, I won't leave before we talk. I'll stay here even if for the whole night."
Fushiguro groaned in annoyance. He really had no desire to look at you, listen to you or do anything with you. The fake, poisonous smiles you had been giving him for the last month made him sick of you, of Itadori, shit, he was even angry at Nobara, because who else would know everything if not her. Megumi felt stupid for not noticing it earlier, but when it hit him, it hit him hard.
That day, a month ago, he returned to school earlier than planned. His solo mission went smoother than expected and his mood was light and bright when he got out of Ijichi's car. He hoped to quickly reunite with his friends, who he always said annoyed him, but everyone knew it was his way of showing affection. He was also especially happy to reunite with you, his absolute best companion, a favorite person in the world, his love and his girlfriend. Quietly, as he always did, he approached Itadori's room, from where a mixture of soft laughter reached his ears. The doors were unlocked, slightly ajar, and he wanted to push them open, but then he heard your voice.
"We can't tell Fushiguro about this," you said cheerfully, your tone breathless and absolutely worn out, and he knew that sound. He heard it before, so he held his breath and peeked inside.
"He would feed me to his dogs if he knew," Itadori was just as exhausted, joyful as he held you in his arms, lying on the bed with you on top of him. Quickly, Megumi retreated and padded back to his own room, as if he hadn't seen anything, but the image stood clear and sharp in front of his eyes, every time he saw you after that. On the same day, you approached him with open arms, with so much something that he thought was love. He couldn't help but wonder what was it if not love?
His door swung open aggressively, almost making you trip, and when you looked up at him, you could see anger twisting his usually calm features. Your heart clenched at the sight of his furrowed brow, his narrow, dark eyes, and his tight jaw.
"Gumi, hey," you tried to reach for his hand, but he pulled back, letting you into his room but refusing to touch you. "Did I do something to hurt you?"
"I don't know, did you?" he snapped, kicking his doors shut with a loud thud.
"You tell me. Please, Megu, I don't understand what's gotten into you lately. Yuji told me that you avoid him as much as you avoid me, we're both confused, I-"
"Of course, Yuji cried to you about it. You seem close, huh?"
"We're friends?"
"Friends, sure," Megumi stood tall above you and you looked up at him with so much confusion, it angered him even more. Unable to control his emotions, he grabbed your wrist and pushed you against the nearest wall, slamming his other hand right next to your head. You winced, shocked to the core and genuinely frightened by the sudden burst of aggression. You knew, you hoped, that he wouldn't hurt you, but as you remembered your last mission together, you began to have doubts.
"Megu-"
"I saw you." he cut in. " A month ago, I saw you and Itadori in his room. Panting, you were lying on top of him, laughing that you could not tell me about it," Megumi scoffed, almost freezing you to death with his icy gaze and his equally cold tone. "Hah, Itadori was afraid that I would feed him to my dogs if I found out, and to be honest, I thought about it, but I don't want them to get sick."
"What? Christ, I would never..."
"You're always so bubbly and touchy with Itadori, and I get it, I'm not that warm and emotional, I guess, but if it's not me you want, then why bother, huh?" he growled, spitting words with rage as his fingers dug into the wall next to your head. “I couldn’t give you what you wanted, so you cheated with my best friend?”
“Megumi, it’s not what it looks like.”
"If it's not what it looks like, then what is it? How could you end up so out of breath, in my friend's bed, on top of him, huh?"
You were silent for a moment. All his words hurt you to the core, and you tried to replay the situation he's referring to. You remembered that day you were in Yuji's room, but were you that careless to draw a picture so suggestive?
"Why didn't you tell me earlier that you saw this? Why didn't you tell me anything?" you asked, exhaling deeply, angry at yourself for hurting the boy you loved so much. "I never wanted to hurt you, Megumi."
"I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, you know? I tried to find a reasonable explanation for what I saw and I watched your interactions with Yuji. It all seems pretty self-explanatory."
"It's really not like that."
"Fuck, I hate this," he groaned, stepping back and distancing himself from you in a few large steps. It hurt, it hurt him so much. You were his first love and Yuji was his first friend and yet the two of you, together, behind his back. He couldn't understand it, he hated it. "Why the hell are you lying? I saw you. I heard you."
"Megumi," you tried, but he didn't listen. Every time you wanted to grab him, to ground him, he just snapped your hands away, looked at you with so much pain that it felt like the sadness in his voice burned scars on your skin, seeped into your heart. You wanted to cry, you wanted to hug him and tell him it's okay, it's not like that, but he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't let you speak, he snapped at you harder and harder. His hands flew, his eyes tore you apart. You saw the glisten of tears in them, he was so hurt and you knew that if he started to cry, you'd lose it.
Forcibly, you took him by his clothes, then wrapped your hands around his middle and spun him around. Losing his balance, he grabbed your shoulders trying to stop the momentum, but you pulled him through the dance. Finally, his knees hit the edge of his bed and he collapsed with your weight on top of him.
"This is pretty much how I ended up on top of Yuji in his bed," you explained, loosening your grip around him. "But with less force and more joy. We were happy, we laughed and hugged. Yuji is strong, he lifted me up, turned some circles and lost his balance." A sigh left your lungs as you rolled off of his body and fell onto the bed next to him. "We were planning for your birthday. We know you hate that day because Gojo always does something so extra and embarrassing... we wanted to take you on a trip, just you, me, Yuji and Kugisaki. We planned movies, mini golf, lots of your favorite foods and also some general chill, away from Jujutsu high and Gojo-sensei. But Yuji insisted on doing something cheesy, like bringing you the biggest cake with our wishes hand-written on it, and making it dark and fancy, but with bursting sprinkles inside, so that when you cut into it, you'd automatically be covered in colorful confetti. Yeah, he thought you'd feed him to your dogs if you found out. This was all supposed to be a surprise for you, we already made some arrangements. Fuck, we knew you'd probably hate the idea of a party anyway, so we were desperate to keep it secret, and we planned most of it while you were away on missions."
"What are you talking about...? My birthday is-"
"In a month. It's already November, your birthday is in few weeks."
Megumi fell silent. The year flew by, he didn't even notice a change in the weather, he just lived through it somehow, and now it was almost December. Everything you said echoed in his head, somehow slowly making more and more sense. He was so focused on finding proof of your affair with Yuji that he had ignored every remark Nobara made about the upcoming party. And lately, you were making more calls, always stepping aside so he wouldn't hear you. A few times he saw you sneaking out with Yuji, who was smiling like an idiot. Megumi didn't even think of any other reason for all that.
"So that's it?"
"Yes, idiot. I love Yuji, he's like my brother. You are my boyfriend, you are my absolute favorite grumpy and pouty person in the whole universe. I wish you would have come to me sooner.”
"I hate surprises..." Fushiguro grumbled and covered his face with his hands, feeling stupid but also relieved. It was as if the heaviest weight had been lifted from his shoulders, his chest felt lighter than it had in weeks, and he began to laugh. "Damn, how I hate surprises."
"Well, that's good, because this one is definitely ruined," you muttered, getting up from the bed. "But now you're going to pretend like you don't know anything and you're going to take this confetti right in your face and thank for it, because I'm not going to ruin Yuji and Nobara's efforts with the fact that I had to tell you."
"Okay," he sat up as well and wrapped his arms around your waist, preventing you from walking away as he pressed his face to your stomach. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright, baby," you brushed through his hair with your fingers.
"And I'm sorry I let you get hurt."
"Well, I still love you, so I guess that's okay too."
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local-ground-apple · 2 years ago
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clown
In which Sebek in order to cope with his feelings towards certain human, decides to get you together with Silver
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You were confused.
Silver was also confused.
Meanwhile Sebek was confused that his desperate attempts were shattered by the two of you.
However, Lilia wasn’t confused and he promptly organized a special-secret-meeting-without-Sebek (sadly, Malleus wasn’t invited, since he wasn’t even aware of the current situation). Oh, how you wished to be blissfully unaware of it as well.
,,Guys, I think Sebek is freaking insane”
You whispered, not wanting to make any unnecessary noise. Despite Lilia’s assurance that Sebek was currently out studying in the library, you didn’t want to take any chances given the topic of today’s meeting.
,,And you noticed it just now?”
Silver retorted nonchalantly, earning an eye roll from you. Meanwhile Lilia was pouring some tea for all of you with a small, yet playful smile on his lips, which told you that he knew exactly what was Sebek’s problem this time. The way amusement was visible in Diasomnia’s vice-house warden clearly showed that he knew the root cause of Zigvolt’s weird behavior recently.
,,I mean, he was always a clown, but nowadays? He’s the clowniest clown ever. Something changed, but I can’t pinpoint his intentions”
You calmly stated, playing with the hem of the tablecloth. Silver didn’t really look that worried or surprised; after all in his eyes Sebek has always been some sort of clown. It was quite alright to disregard this situation. However, you seemed a bit concerned. You furrowed your eyebrows, pondering for a moment.
It’s not like you and Sebek were close friends. Frankly, you weren’t even sure if you could call your bizarre relationship a friendship? Perhaps, you were just colleagues or acquaintances. You couldn’t tell, since Sebek was hard to analyze.
Your first meeting ended in you two loosing your tempers and screaming at each other over some trivial matter. Then, you both got paired for the class project, that resulted in more ungodly yelling and arguing. Sebek thought that after that catastrophe of the project, you two would part your ways never to speak again. Oh, how wrong was he. You and Silver got along splendidly, so you became a frequent guest in Diasomnia, which irked Sebek who was always picking up a fight with you.
Then he spotted you reading and appreciating his favorite book, then one time you managed to calm down the horses that were scared of him for no reason, then you were impressed at him when he lifted heavy things…
And suddenly and magically, Sebek tried not to yell in your presence.
Or at least, not to yell at you specifically.
Which made you concerned for his sanity. Perhaps, you were losing him.
,,Leave him be. It’s Sebek after all, there’s no point in analyzing his behavior”
Silver stated, yawning, clearly bored with the topic of the conversation. Yet, you weren’t one to give up. Your eyes flickered and landed on Lilia who looked as if he was having time of his live. He was clearly enjoying your distress over the whole situation.
,,He is acting weird, right? I’m not going insane?”
You asked, staring at Lilia. He could hear in the tone of your voice that you were getting impatient and you were anticipating the confirmation. He let out an amused chuckle, before finally giving you a response.
,,My, my, yes. Poor Sebek has something on his mind that it’s troubling him and he doesn’t know how to deal with it”
“It’s concerning Malleus, isn’t it?”
Silver snickered, not bothering to open his eyes. You were sure that in the span of next 10 minutes, he would be asleep and peacefully napping, ignoring Sebek-situation. You rolled your eyes once again, prodding the man sitting next to you.
,,If it concerned Malleus, I would invite him here. The matter concerns two of you, Y/N more precisely”
You almost choked on your tea and Silver opened his eyes in surprise. You two had never expected that perhaps you two were the cause behind Sebek’s antics. Lilia signed heavily.
,,My, you two are really oblivious. Sebek has been trying to get you two together and so far, he is failing splendidly”
Now Silver was wide awake and clearly in shock, while you were left speechless. Although, with this explanation a lot of things began to make sense.
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Sebek's first failed attempt
,,Human.”
Sebek’s oddly calm and not-so-loud voice startled you. You jumped slightly in surprise, raising one eyebrow questioningly. It wasn’t normal. Usually you would hear Sebek from a kilometer before noticing his presence.
,,Hmm, what it is?”
You asked, smiling in his direction. If you paid more attention, you would notice the way his cheeks slightly blushed and how he avoided direct eye contact, given his embarrassment. Unfortunately, you were blind and oblivious, especially when it came to this loud guy.
,, What do you think of Silver?”
Now, you were totally caught off guard.
It wasn’t your Sebek, Sebek that you knew.
You furrowed your eyebrows, squinting your eyes, eyeing him suspiciously. Yet, he refused to even look at you. He appeared a tad bit nervous, hesitant even to ask such question. Normally, Sebek was loud, honest and well, quite confident in whatever the hell he was screaming about.
,,He is a dear friend of mine”
You stated, not expecting another question that followed right behind. Sebek clenched his fists, taking a deep breath before he spoke once again.
,,Do you think Lilia-sama would give you his hand in marriage?”
Needless to say, you choked on your water.
Sebek's second failed attempt
,,Where are you dragging me now, huh?”
You asked softly. You were way too tired to be dealing with Sebek’s antics today. Yet, this knight was relentless and he wasn’t the type to give up easily.
,,Y-you will see, Human!”
If you were more observant, you would notice how his voice slightly trembled and how nervous he looked. Sebek felt as if he was about to combust from his conflicted emotions. The grip on your wrist felt firm, yet not painful. You could feel that his hand was slightly trembling.
If you paid more attention to Sebek's flushed cheeks, you would figure out that this man was nervous from the sheer proximity to you.
Yet, you were blind and oblivious human.
Sebek dragged you through almost entire Diasomnia dorm, firmly holding your wrist. You had to almost run to keep up with his pace. he was leading you through dark and unknown hallways, various stairs till you reached the highest tower in the dormitory.
You were, once again, confused.
,,Why are we here?”
You asked him, raising one of your eyebrows. You didn't expect to end up in such place. Sebek seemed even more nervous. Now, his face was red and a scowl appeared on his lips. He didn't dare to look into your eyes and he felt like his heart would explode in any second.
,,You ask too many questions, Human! Talk!”
Sebek exclaimed before he pushed you into the room. You abruptly turned on your heel after gaining some balance, yet he slammed the door right in front of your face.
You did not appreciate such treatment.
,,Sebek! You bloody idiot! Open the goddamn door, you…you clown!”
You screamed in frustration and surprise. Suddenly, you could feel your blood pressure rising abruptly. You pulled on the door handle violently, yet it didn't budge. So you opted on slamming your fists on the door, while cursing Sebek in your mind.
,,Not until you two talk out some things”
You heard his nervous voice, before you heard him leaving in hurry. Great, and now he was leaving you here for god-knows-how-long. You wanted to scream in frustration, as you hated closed spaces. Yet, his words make you wonder.
,,Two, what do you mean?”
,,Y/N, stop screaming, my head is killing me”
You jumped startled by the sleepy and tired voice sounding right behind you.
You simply couldn’t believe that Sebek locked you here with Silver.
Sebek's third failed attempt
Sebek couldn't take it anymore.
He wanted to scream in pure frustrated. Everything was perfect and carefully planned before hand. He made sure to fake Silver's handwriting when he wrote the invitation for the date. He prepared romantic dinner with candlelight, tricked you both to come there (without stating that it was a date).
Even the stars were aligned, yet you and Silver were so dumb and oblivious.
He was hiding in the bushes, observing the situation. Needless to say, Sebek was this close to loosing his composure, coming out and just yelling at you both. He was truly hopeless, beyond the repair.
You and Silver stood there awkwardly, confused.
Sebek could faintly hear you two discussing the situation, not even realising it was a date set-up.
Sebek was devastated. His conflicted feelings made themselves present once again. He clenched his fists, sighing heavily. He had hoped he would get over his complicated feelings towards you.
Yet, it was all pointless.
He was not only a clown, but also a simp. A simp for you.
And Sebek hated himself for catching romantic feelings for you, a mere human. He was delusional thinking they would go away the moment he hooked you up with Silver.
He was a clown.
His feelings only grew stronger.
Sebek shook his head, focusing once again on your figure. Everything will be alright, once they get together with Silver; he told himself. He would repeat that sentence as many times as needed to gaslight himself. A playful yet mischievous whisper behind him, slightly startled him.
,,My, my, you poor, pitiful knight~~ Mayhaps, I could suggest you something, hmm?"
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eyesfullofsttars · 7 months ago
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☆ sypnosis: despite ellie's sarcastic and confident attitude, it fades away when she interacts with abigail, whose sweet seriousness doesn't hesitate to set boundaries, even if she can tolerate certain behaviors.
☆ notes: omg i have no idea what this is i'm so disappointed with having written that! i feel like i could've done it a thousand times better or maybe i just don't fully grasp the concept :( still, i hope you enjoy it (especially @fictionalgap omg sorry if this doesn't meet ur expectations! you can always specify more and I'll do something better!!! sorry)
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☆ Ellie Williams is quite the challenge, with her constant sarcasm in every social interaction. Often, her barely perceptible smile leaves others wondering if she's joking or being serious. She lives with a furrowed brow and rolling eyes at the orders she receives.
She always has something to say, with sarcastic and questionable comments that make it difficult to understand her true intentions.
Dina, at first, found Ellie's attitude exasperating, but she has grown accustomed to it over time. She simply laughs at every one of Ellie's comments, just like Jesse, who plays along by hitting her shoulder while shaking his head.
☆ In romantic situations, however, Williams finds herself at a loss.
She's clueless when it comes to romance! She can't even tell when a girl is trying to flirt with her, even if it's blatantly obvious. She just shrugs it off, deciding that the girl was just being friendly.
Even worse, her confident sarcasm falters in the presence of a cute girl. She can't maintain eye contact and finds herself looking at the ground, playing with her fingers.
☆ Ellie is the least dominant girl! When she started feeling something for Abigail, she decided to keep quiet, harboring her own fantasies until Anderson jokingly admitted she was in love with her, giving Ellie the confidence to move forward.
☆ And the arguments are interrupted when Abs grabs Ellie's wrist, asking her to sit down and stop arguing over trivial matters. This causes Ellie to simply sigh and sit down beside her with her arms crossed.
"But..." Ellie wants to continue, seeking to be right about some nonsense against someone.
"It's not worth it, Williams," Abby interrupts quickly, wrapping her arm around Ellie's waist, making her sit on her lap.
Ellie's complicated and difficult demeanor can disappear with just a stern look from Abigail, indicating that enough is enough. It often ends with Ellie seeking Abby, holding her hand, and glaring at everyone, but then softening her gaze when Abby places her hand on her shoulder.
☆ However, even though Abby is patient, sometimes she can't tolerate Ellie's attitude, and it's inevitable for her to get annoyed with her from time to time.
"I'm talking to you, you know?" Abigail asks, grabbing Ellie's jaw with her hand and turning her towards her so they can look at each other. "You're ignoring me on purpose."
"I don't know, am I?" Ellie responds with a question, shrugging and a smirk on her lips that only provokes more annoyance in Abby.
"God, you're insufferable..." Abby mutters through gritted teeth, quickly bringing Ellie's face even closer to hers to kiss her.
☆ Abigail wastes no time complaining about Ellie's foul language, letting out a sigh every time an unnecessary swear word slips from her lips. But she knows it's impossible to correct, so she settles for Ellie acknowledging it on her own.
☆ Despite their differences and occasional clashes, their dynamic is ultimately one of mutual respect and pure love, with Ellie keeping Abby on her toes with her antics and Abby keeping Ellie in check
(after all, ellie can be as challenging as she wants, but she totally loses dominance to abigail, and tbh i would too!!!)
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yandere-kokeshi · 2 years ago
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Yandere Ghost, König, and Soap with a gn darling who has Autism
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Warnings: yandere behavior and a bit ooc character; I'm a believer for König having ADHD.
A/N: this was a request but someone deactivated which deleted their ask. Happy Autism awareness month! I'm all extremely proud of you <3
I did my research on Autism but I'm not fully aware of the diagnosis(?). If I offended anyone, that's not what I meant, and please send an ask if I did anything incorrectly.
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Simon “Ghost” Riley:
It’s likely that he already knew or saw the signs and decided to research it; which, led him to read a fair amount about autism to connect with you.
However, he’s not a physiatrist and he’s not dumb enough to assume, which leads him to keep it private or not bring it up before you do. Mental and physical health is personal. He won’t dig into your diagnosis unless he views it as harmful. However, once you do feel ready to tell him, he will be incredibly supportive and try his best to learn about your triggers.
When it comes to things that overwhelm you, he’s pretty good at tracking those things. Certain textures and noises are written down and taken very seriously by him.
Don’t like the feeling of jeans? He will make sure not to wear them around you or buy you some.
Hate the sound of cardboard or styrofoam? Simon makes sure not to unbox packages near you or let you be in sight of it.
Protective over a certain object? He will make sure to never use it, and if he does need to, he will ask and won’t get upset if you say no. Consent is taken seriously with this man.
Speaking of consent, He’s pretty clear with it — he won’t touch you. He’s pretty adamant about making sure you don’t feel like a nuisance or try to ‘force’ you to do things with him, including touching. It’s your body, it has rules and he’s gonna respect those. Boundaries are there for a reason.
After a while with you, he’s learned your body language and a few things to communicate with you without spoken words. The two of you have secret signals, certain pulled-up fingers or touches mean certain words; do you need company or alone time? Want to have space or be cuddled with him? Is the room too bright or too loud? Whatever you need, he’ll help out as much as he can.
A plus side with Simon is that he speaks pretty clearly; no unnecessary, soft metaphors with him. He means whatever he says, you don’t have to worry about missing something as he speaks directly with anyone, including you. If he does make a mistake or offend you, he’s more willing to acknowledge his mistake and learn from it. Don’t be afraid to approach him, he can handle it.
If you enjoy parallel play, Simon is someone who enjoys it just as much. He doesn’t mind sitting in the same room with you, just enjoying each other’s presence without talking or engaging with each other and doing your own thing. He feels comfort by being in the same room, simply reading a book, watching TV, or doing work as you do the same. You don’t always need conversation to be comfortable. He respects that of you.
Having little to no eye contact, being blunt/or forward, and getting burnt out in public places easily don’t bother him either. Simon understands that eye contact doesn’t equal attention. He’s also a fan of not big places, he’s a homebody and prefers to be in his safe area with you.
Simon is one of those people who prefers when people speak their minds, and say what they mean. Just get straight to the point, don’t hint at things other than expect others to know the meaning. It’s boring — plus, he gets to understand things easier.
While Simon is incredibly good at being supportive and respecting your boundaries, he sometimes doesn’t understand/or grasp the concept of emotional dysregulation or hyper-empathy.
He doesn’t know what to do if you get upset over something ‘small’. But, with learning like a good husband, he will ask you questions based on what will help you: do you need comfort? If so, how would you like it? Words or physical touch? Or just being in the same room so you can feel at least his presence?
He actually enjoys having certain patterns with you. He likes order and sticking to it, so whenever the two of you go grocery shopping or out in public, he will follow right behind you like a guard dog as he shuffles around people in the aisles; making sure nobody touches you or gets in your way; he will help guide you, a hand on your hip as he follows you around.
Gives you his full attention whenever you’re talking about something you are very passionate about — whatever it’s about, he hums along and asks questions to know more. He likes learning new things from you and may share some things of his own! He enjoys seeing you happy about the hobbies you are joyful about.
When the world becomes too loud for you and a bunch is going around you, Simon will pull you somewhere quieter, allowing you to have a moment by yourself to recollect; helping you with breathing patterns, or asking you questions to help you in some way.
Ghost is deadly serious about protecting you. If anyone gives you weird looks or dares to say anything, he will look at them until they get scared and walk away — he’s not afraid to throw fists if they dare approach you.
Stimming? Simon is happy that you’re expressing yourself, as long as you’re not physically hurting yourself, he won’t mind you doing your own thing. He enjoys it rather.
He doesn't mind if you are fiddling with his fingers, repeatedly pulling at your clothing, or tapping your fingers at the dinner table as the two of you eat; rarely do these habits annoy him. He actually encourages these stims.
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König:
Extremely supportive and understanding. He will make sure to learn about it, as well as ask you frequent questions on what things can/will trigger you. You’re his spouse, a person he’s admired and loved, he’s willing to do anything to help you, including with your troubles.
König can relate to some of your daily struggles. While he knows that he’s not autistic, he does have ADHD and anxiety which causes some things to clash with yours: hyperfixations, certain textures that make your skin crawl, stimming, and fidgeting, or rejection sensitivity. There’s a whole lot more to go on with, but to an extent, König can understand you while he’s prone to help you.
If you ever feel overwhelmed, even in the place of a restaurant or going shopping, and need to leave, he will utmost support you and never let you apologize.
Shopping can happen another day, he can go down there and finish it later; you are always his top priority. Eating at a restaurant is for fun, and you are not ruining it. Today wasn’t your day, tomorrow is another day that we can try.
Is super respectful, even with touching you and approaching your space. He’s always been a gentle giant, no matter how many years the two of you have been together since kidnapping.
If you don’t want to be touched, he won’t be affected by it and will respect you. Boundaries are always heard, loud and clear with this man.
With König, he’s shy — sometimes his body language can be too stiff and he can’t say the right words without stuttering or making a mess of himself. However, he will try to learn to be more straightforward with you, especially with being needy or wanting kisses.
Stimming around him is completely normal, as he does it. He’s fine with you swinging his arms around when holding hands, singing along to a song that he hasn’t heard before, or continuously pacing in the house. Whatever you feel comfortable doing, please do it; much like Ghost, he encourages your stimming.
They’re simply a part of you, which he adores like the others. As long as you’re not physically hurting yourself, he won’t engage and leave you alone with your own thing.
If you’re hyper-fixated with certain things, whether that’s about the 18th century, bugs and reptiles, or rocks/minerals, König will go out of his way to surprise you with things you enjoy.
He enjoys it whenever you decide to tell him random hobbies or facts throughout the day. He actually looks forward to knowing things because of you! Especially if it’s about animals or different countries, he gets infested and may ask more about it, which leads to date nights on researching different topics with each other!
Patterns and cleanliness can be incredibly important for some people. While König will try his best to be as clean as he can, sometimes he forgets. He’s not the messiest giant. But he’s also not the cleanest perfectionist.
With that being said, König will do specific types of jobs in the home to help you: going as far as folding clothes, vacuuming, cleaning and disinfecting the bathroom, or doing the dishes. Whatever you feel uncomfortable doing, leave it up to him!
However, if the two of you are outside, König is more than protective of you. As much as he can understand you can handle yourself, he will not stand people making fun of you or simply staring at you. König will, and can approach people with a look of pure evil; he’s not gonna stand around and make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable without doing something about it.
König, like any husband, will be incredibly patient with you. If you are shopping, he never hurries you whenever you are looking at the shelves of candles, even if you choose the same one every time.
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Johnny “Soap” MacTavish:
He’s pretty nonchalant about the whole thing; he doesn’t really mind. Not to say that he will ignore your needs and issues, but he sees you as you. Your autism doesn’t make him think differently of you, you are still his spouse; he loves you regardless.
With the help of the internet, asking your family/or friends, and yourself, he will learn ways to comfort you and engage things with you without offending or triggering you. Whatever you need, he will get you in a few minutes: fizzy drinks, water, your comfort blanket and plushie, or comfort food.
Any activity you engage in, Soap tries to be with you as you are interested in it. Do you like reading books? He will collect as much as he can and take some time off to enjoy quiet time with you.
Love collecting miniature accessories to decorate your office? Soap will find some rare pieces and give you some.
Love popping bubble wrap? He will collect it as he gets packages in the mail, going as far as to buy you some online. At best, you'll have a few months worth.
Soap is big on encouraging your stimming in front of him and not masking. While he does understand that neurodivergent people mask to fit in society, he wants you to be you. He doesn’t want you to hide away, even if you think it’s ‘dumb’ or ‘bizarre’.
He hates how society has shaped people who are autistic as ‘insufferable’ or ‘emotionless’ because they are not. You are you. You just have extra steps that need to be seen and heard.
While Soap is incredibly flirty and loves joking around, he will try his best to be more straightforward and ask things directly rather than hint at things — he may make some mistakes but he will learn from them, trying his best to tell you things instead of whispering things into your ear.
Communication and body language can be hard. With Soap, he will try to find ways to communicate with you without his body language and sometimes not using his direct words.
With a certain time, he will learn when you’re stressed and immediately help you through anxiety/or a panic attack, sometimes distracting you with random questions and conversations, asking about your hobbies and the reason you like them.
Like the others, he doesn’t mind the stimming but rather enjoys seeing you get all happy and giddy about certain topics. As long as you’re not hurting yourself in any way, he won’t stop you.
Wherever you feel comfortable doing, whether that’s playing with fidget toys, humming, or tracing the lines on the palm of his hands, it won’t bother him at all.
Certain things can be triggering, which Soap will try his best to comfort.
That certain light that’s on? He’ll give you some headphones and his jacket, rubbing your back to help you calm down.
Don’t like sitting down? He’ll try to find you some space so you can stand by yourself, or get you a fidget cube to play with.
People staring at you? Soap will throw them a glare. If that doesn’t work, he may approach them ‘nicely’ about it.
Speaking of glaring, if anyone looks at you for too long, he’s not gonna be nice about it; throwing a bunch of glares before getting up from his seat, and asking the person what their deal is. This goes along the lines if someone approaches you, yet again, won’t go the nice line. He will get in their face and tell them to fuck off before something worse happens.
Being oversensitive isn’t a bad thing, nor is being under-responsiveness. It’s just the way your brain is hooked up and there’s nothing wrong with being you.
Sometimes crying over a movie character that died is a good thing — expressing your guilty pleasure over them, even if they were the villain.
Or maybe not noticing someone is being rude until you have a conversation with Johnny later that day, in which, he talks it out with you; asking if you want suggestions or need support.
Nevertheless, at the end of the day, Johnny is here to support you, even if you snap at him or decide to get so overwhelmed that you need a power nap together.
Masterlist || Please reblog or comment instead of liking, it helps a bunch!
© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.
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joyswonderland1108 · 5 months ago
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Drama. Drama everywhere.
Hello Loves, hope you are all doing okay and having a good life.
Quite honestly i was not going to talk about this because i was trying to stay drama-free for the longest time as i've been busy with uni but also wanted a bit of a break from all the bullshit while i continue to support, appreciate and wait for our boys peacefully.
My reactions for this situation were :
This shit is funny af because here we go again making a scene out of basically nothing.
As much as the situation is funny it is also unfunny when we're looking at the whole scene from different angles.
So to begin we all know why this shit is funny, same story, different day. People will continuously feel pressed about Jimin or Junkook or Jimin AND Jungkook, people always have this obsession of bringing down their bond because for some reason people can't even accept them as two bandmates, it HAS to be two strangers or nothing to them.
The whole "we do not support content that has shipping material" argument is silly to me because darling, if you see member X with member Z doing something totally normal that anyone can do and can still call it "shipping material" that's a you problem, you must be having serious untreated problems and should seek help from a therapist ASAP.
To think that "Tteokbokki by JK" caused so much fire and for what? We've all been knew that the members have been eating together many times before and it wouldn't be the first time that a member would've cooked something that was appreciated by other members. We were even able to see through the moments the boys decided to share with us that Jungkook did in fact cook for Jimin and if anything to me whether it was Jimin who said it or any other member, picking the Tteokbokki by JK as his favourite dish, that to me at least is a really good praise for JK because this could only mean his Tteokbokki is a banger!!
Now moving on to why it is also unfunny and i'm not even going to get into the details that we talk about every single time about how both Jimin and JK get unnecessary hate but i'm going to talk more about the fans.
We should all keep in mind that stan accounts are run by actual people not bots, so this whole thing about making a big deal out of a very small thing and making up lies to justify this hate is absolutely mental. People are receiving death threats through their dms, they're being lied about, they're being doxxed and basically their lives could be in danger and over what? Childish behaviors that are not assumed.
What irks me is those with big platforms who can't bother to do things correctly, and i'm not saying they should not do any mistakes, we're human we do make mistakes and it's okay but what's not okay is knowing damn well we are wrong and not apologizing for it, being able to fix it and not even try but instead proceeding to block the people they were wrong about.
I don't want anyone to tell me that those people behind those big accounts are not responsible, when you have a certain amount of followers you become responsible of the behavior they show after they followed YOUR advise. Like any influencer on the internet, they are responsible for their audience, as the word itself is "influence" which means that the behavior, decisions, actions, etc.. of the audience can be diverted by this person.
Seeing how these big accounts caused a lot of damage to many people over false information that they did not bother to fact check before but even worse didn't even think about making a follow up post apologizing not only for the misinformation but also to the people who have been impacted by it, this says a lot about what kind of people they are and the type of values they grew up with. Because those accounts are owned by real people too, which means that the posts are also influenced by their personality and values, knowing damn well that because of YOU people are being sent death threats and not even a simple "Sorry"?
It is quite sad actually because we're seeing fewer and fewer big accounts in this fandom being completely honest and unproblematic. Ship whoever you want, stan whoever you want, heck if you want to be a solo go ahead no one is stopping you as long as there is no disrespect out there, as long as there are limits, literally no one gives a fuck what you chose to do or believe in.
A this point i feel like i used up all of my energy in writing this post and if i go any longer it would no longer make sense so i'm stopping here. Please, let's do better for our boys, i know there's like a whole year for us to wait for all of them to be together again but i swear a year is not as long as you think it is, so in the meantime please let's work hard for them, if we can't be present on social media as in actively posting and all that's fine but at least let's be supportive and let them know that we did NOT forget them and we are still here for them, we still love them and we will continue to do so.
With that being said, take care of yourselves and have a very nice day.
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raisedbythetv89 · 6 months ago
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*tw* mentions of sa throughout the btvs series:
Expanding on the thoughts in this post about fandom culture and etiquette for how to make this a safer and more enjoyable space for everyone no matter who you ship
If you are a fan of btvs or ats no matter who your favorite characters are or who you ship - you have suffered at the hands of joss whedon's narcissistic personality and the subsequent emotional abuse he not only put the actors and his characters through but the audience as well
He gave us characters and relationships we fell in love with and then always, without fail, something horrible happens to one of them or they do something horrific and we're forced to cope with the emotional whiplash that happens every time he does it and decide if we love the character or relationship enough to cope with what joss did to them or if that's it for us enjoying that character or relationship
Like Bangel? Surprise! He's gonna lose his soul and completely psychologically destroy Buffy! AND THEN he's gonna come back and turns out he's been lying to this whole time to Buffy and he actually loved Darla so much he tried to be evil even with the soul first and actually stalked Buffy for a year before he introduced himself and fell in love with the sight of her crying at 15 and we made her look SUPER childlike and innocent to really up the ick factor!
Like Spuffy? Here take the most traumatic depiction of attempted sexual assault we've ever seen in the series that comes out of absolutely nowhere and is specifically designed to punish women after Spike was the only person who could be there for Buffy besides Tara as she battles her severe depression!
Like Tillow? Well Willow goes from empowering Tara and standing up for her to yelling at her to shut the hell up and then magically drugging and sexually assaulting her! and then when Tara calls her out on in she uses the "I didn't mean to" line and then is gonna use magic on her in the exact same way! and then we're gonna rush tara forgiving her just to kill her off!
Like Fuffy? Well Faith is gonna steal Buffy's body and then sexually assault both buffy and riley simultaneously while trying to goad riley into violating buffy's body as much as possible!
The list is truly ENDLESS you either survive on btvs long enough to do something horrific or you're killed off in a brutal, shocking and senseless way (I'm not going to list every single relationship and horrific event as it seems unnecessary and I know I can expand on the above example even further but again it feels unnecessary so please don't freak out if you feel I missed something this is by no means an exhaustive list)
Joss hates people, he hates women, he hates people of color, he hates his audience. Doing horrible things to people you claim to love is incredibly normal for him and any abusive narcissist because they don't love people or even see them as fellow humans - they're just things they play with for entertainment or to make them feel good about themselves which is why this is so prevalent in the buffyverse in the first place
Liking a ship where something horrible happens, you're not condoning it - it happened TO YOU. You were going along loving a character or relationship and then the creator got bored or angry and decides to throw a narrative punch just because he can and he likes the control it gives him to make a bunch of people react in certain ways emotionally and he loves to ruin things people love that's a huge thing for narcissists - if they see someone else feeling good about themselves or experience joy they want it destroyed
We have all suffered at the hands of this man, everyone has their favorite characters for very specific and deeply personal reasons. Just because you can't move past or accept certain behaviors from a character doesn't mean you get to dictate that for everyone else. Truly loving or connecting to a character means you have more capacity for forgiveness than someone who just liked them - and loving a character also usually comes with a deeper understanding of that character in the first place that can give you perspective and understanding that helps you contextualize the bad things.
Loving even the worst fictional characters literally harms no one, but attacking, shaming, judging, feeling superior to real people for their fictional tastes does so don't come on here and "well actually" me with "well MY fav didn't do [x]" or "MY fav never did anything.." because that's not the point. The whole point of this post is other btvs or ats fans who like different characters or ship difference ships are not you enemy - JOSS WHEDON is the only enemy here - be mad at him and only him, hate on other characters all you want but being cruel to other fans who don't agree with you is exactly what joss wants and we all hate that fucker so stop playing his game and don't be a dick.
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mj-iza-writer · 5 months ago
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Masochist whumpee who messes up simple tasks to get hurt by their master. When whumper notices this they get very angry and decide to show whumpee what real pain feels like
Warning: lab whump. Inclusion of detailed amputation.
"Whumpee, you're going to get into trouble if Whumper catches on that you are messing up their experiments purposely", Test Subject 2, watched from their cell.
"I can't help it... It's the only way we get attention is when they test us", Whumpee held onto their side as the stinging went away, "I just want attention. I don't care how I get it."
"We are test subjects for this lab, we don't get things like that", Test Subject 3 sighed, "just behave before you get in a lot of trouble."
Whumper came in and opened Whumpee's cell.
"Come on. Let's try this over again", Whumper sighed as they lifted Whumpee into their arms.
Whumpee laid their head against Whumper's chest as they were carried to the room.
"Don't get too comfortable", Whumper scolded, "I'm not exactly happy with how your results are going. You've been causing a lot of unnecessary issues. I know it's not my test either, as the others are doing just fine."
Whumpee gulped.
"Wow, it's almost like night and day, you did that perfectly", Whumper frowned, "almost too perfectly considering earlier you barely understood what I was asking from you."
Whumpee nodded and looked down.
"You aren't purposely screwing up are you?", Whumper glared.
"N-no Master, I just thought a little more about what you wanted and was able to complete it now", Whumpee smiled weakly, "I-I'm sorry."
"Ymhmm", Whumper leaned on the table and pulled out their phone, "how about this video. I decided to place a camera in Test Subject 4's cell for a different a test and was upset to learn this behavior."
Whumpee gulped again as their conversation was played in front of them.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself?", Whumper grew angrier, "you have no rights in this lab. You have no rights to having wants for attention. You are a pitiful rat. My rat. I do not like that you played me as a fool."
Whumpee held their head down, "I-I'm sorry, I-I just want to be loved. I miss...."
Whumper backhanded Whumpee, sending them off the lab table and to the floor.
"You don't get to have wants", Whumper yelled and stomped toward them.
Whumpee crawled backward until they ran into the wall.
"Please... please", Whumpee pleaded.
Whumper grabbed them by the neck and pulled them up.
Whumpee stammered and choked as they were pushed against the wall.
"You want attention so much.... you just signed up for my newest experiment", Whumper grinned evilly, "I've been waiting to do this to somebody, but I didn't know who. It will be rather painful you see."
"No please", Whumpee whispered.
"You want my attention so much. Well, here you go", Whumper dropped Whumpee and watched them fall to the floor.
"Prepare them", Whumper stomped out of the room.
Whumpee was strapped down to a table and dressed in surgerical drapes.
Whumper came in dressed in surgical dress.
"Please Master, forgive me", Whumpee pleaded, "I won't do it again. I won't ask for anything. No wants, nothing. I won't even talk unless you want me to."
"I know you won't... not after this", Whumper sighed.
A team came in, also dressed for surgery.
"This test it to study how much pain the human body can be in. The test subject will be getting amputated at their wrist on their right arm. They will have to meet a certain predetermined threshold before anesthesia is offered", Whumper looked over the team, "this will also prepare this subject for future planned test. This subject is right-handed, so I will be able to study the effects of losing that hand."
"Please", Whumpee yelled, "don't do this... please."
"To late", Whumper didn't look at them, "everything is prepped, I'm not stopping now."
The first slice was made.
Whumpee's scream was blood curdling.
Whumper continued, ignoring Whumpee.
"We will leave some skin here for me to sew the stitches", Whumper sighed.
Whumpee continued to scream.
"Place something in their mouth for them to bite down on", Whumper continued to cut, "prepare the bone saw. I've already cut the arteries and veins, we are tying them off now. Nurse hold that."
"Whumper, they are reaching a very high rate. May I recommend anesthesia now", a different person showed them the screen, "they don't look like they are doing alright."
Whumper looked at the screen, then at Whumpee.
Whumpee was pale and shaking, sweat glistened from their skin.
"No, not yet. I want to see what happens once we hit bone", Whumper grinned.
Whumpee whimpered. They were in too much pain to even attempt yelling now. Their vision blurred and everything sounded muffled.
"Whumper in my professional advice may I...", they tried again.
"No you may not", Whumper sighed calmly.
Whumpee whimpered as they heard the saw start.
"Please", Whumpee whispered quietly.
Their back arched as the saw hit bone.
"You may give anesthesia", Whumper watched.
Whumpee was taken to their cell and laid down on the floor.
The other test subjects watched sadly as the nurses walked away.
"Ar-are you okay?", Test Subjest 2 broke the ice.
"N-no", Whumpee rolled over to look away from them. They cuddled what bit of their arm was left.
Whumper removed more than what was originally planned. After the anesthesia was given, Whumpee fell unconscious. Whumper decided to take more.
"What happened... what did they do?", Test Subject 3 asked curiously.
"They uhm", Whumpee couldn't say it. With tears in their eyes they showed the left over part of their arm.
"No", Test Subject 1 gasped.
"I wasn't given anesthesia until they cut into the bone. I felt it all", Whumpee sobbed, "I just wanted attention", they whispered, "is that bad of me? ""
After a few days Whumpee was taken back into the room so Whumper could examine the wound and make sure it was healing properly.
"How are you feeling?", Whumper talked absent mildly.
"Ok", Whumpee whispered, they made a small whine when the bandages were removed.
"What nothing else to say. You know you can talk right", Whumper moved the stump around.
"No Master", Whumpee kept their head low.
"Hmm, I guess that's fair. The surgery took a lot out of you, I bet. Your recovery seems to be doing well. You're eating and progressing. No signs of infection either", Whumper started to put new bandages on, "looking back, I believe I may have gone a bit too far by doing this to you... at least without the proper anesthesia for you. I'm sorry about that. You just made me so mad. I couldn't help myself."
Whumpee let a few tears fall. They splashed onto their uniform.
Whumper reached up and lifted Whumpee's face.
Whumpee's eyes were sunken in and dark. Their color was much paler than before the amputation. Their lip quivered as Whumper studied them.
"I understand that I shouldn't have messed with your results, bu...", Whumpee sniffled, "but what was so wrong about wanting attention. It's not like I was asking for much, I was happy with you beating me up. I just craved human touch.... wa-was that wrong?"
More tears fell from Whumpee's eyes as Whumper studied them.
"I have no answer for you besides the fact you ruined my research. In that, you irritated me to which I didn't care what you wanted", Whumper frowned, "I..."
"I know", Whumpee whispered in frustration.
"Hmm, alright back to your cell with you", Whumper frowned, "I'll consider if I want to give you any gifts for an apology."
"Don't bother, in the end you got what you wanted. You wanted an amputated test subject, you got one", Whumpee sighed.
"Watch your tongue", Whumper warned, "you can be upset, I understand that, but you may not speak freely."
Whumper sat at their desk studying some notes.
A nurse entered.
"How can I help?", Whumper frowned.
"Whumpee is refusing to eat, they denied breakfast and lunch", the nurse sat down, "they are dangerously close to getting sick if they don't eat. After that procedure."
"Tie them down and tube feed them then", Whumper frowned.
"No I'm not doing that", the nurse crossed their arms.
"Excuse me?", Whumper looked a bit shocked.
"After what you did to them, and what you do to those test subjects, you owe them all an apology", the nurse frowned, "they are all severely touch starved, you need to do something before they all die of broken hearts."
"I do, do I?", Whumper grinned, "tell me... since your the professional, what should I do to make a bunch of test subjects happy?"
"They're test subjects, but they're also people... can't you agree on that?", the nurse frowned.
"Fine if you are so concerned you can be the one to ask each one if there is something that can be provided to make them comfortable. I guess I should make it up to Whumpee, and it wouldn't hurt to boost their morals. Whumpee can't have anything until they eat though, got it?"
The nurse came back and handed a paper to Whumper, "everyone has spoken."
"Let's see what the idiots want", Whumper looked at the paper.
"Test Subject 1 wants some books... approved. Test Subjest 2 wants thicker blankets... approved. Test Subject 3 wants me to die or a coloring book and markers. Coloring book is approved, but they get crayons, I don't want marker everywhere. Test Subject 4 wants to die... makes since they are going through a bad experiment right now. They would like softer blankets... approved", Whumper frowned, "Whumpee wants attention and cuddles... they get a weighted blanket and a weighted teddy bear", Whumper went through the rest of the list. "Everything else is approved."
Whumper went down the corridor where the test subjects were kept. All of them huddled into the corner of their cell.
Whumpee turned away when they saw Whumper walk by.
"I thought I'd let all of you know your request were approved, at least most of them I don't plan on dying or killing any of you", Whumper sighed and started to leave.
The nurse entered minutes later with a cart.
"I come bringing gifts", they announced.
Every one came close to their cell doors to look.
Everything was handed out, but Whumpee still sat in the corner of their cell... they watched.
"Pss.. Whumpee, come here", the nurse finally came by, "Whumper approved for you to have a weighted blanket and weighted toy so I hope you like these, but you can also ask me for a hug whenever you like. That goes for all of you."
Whumpee took the gifts and nodded, "thankyou so much", they tenderly walked back to where they were sitting. Covered up with the blanket and cuddled the stuffie.
It wasn't enough, they needed more. They were thankful to the nurse for getting these things for them.... but one thing they had learned was not to voice their wants or desires too loudly. These items would have to do for now.
Probably a different type of story, I hope it's okay and that you enjoyed it. Thankyou for the ask.
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ticklygiggles · 1 year ago
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Can I ask Zen (Mystic messenger) x reader, romantic 🧚‍♂️✨ I just love him so much and I miss him 😞
Thank you so much, no pressure! Love your blog <33
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[You & I event - entries closed!]
A/N: Thank you very muuuch! I'm happy you enjoy my blog hehe. And omg I miss the mystic boys so much too! I've been wanting to play again, but mystic is so draining omg. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this!
Words: 1k+
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You weren't the jealous type. You knew perfectly well that Zen had many fans who loved him unconditionally, whether it was because of his talent or his beauty or both. You loved Zen too, not just for what everyone saw, but also for everything he really was. His fears and insecurities, his joys, dreams and goals, you had the joy of enjoying that and more. It was simply unnecessary to feel jealous when you had a Zen that no one knew. 
But you were also human and, famous or not, Zen was your beloved boyfriend, so maybe it was normal to feel a little jealous from time to time, right? Especially when certain ladies had no shame. 
It was a little cold that day, but you and Zen decided to have a small picnic on his day off. Zen was excited, it had been a long time since he had the opportunity to enjoy a whole day with you and you were too. You had missed him and you hoped to enjoy that picnic until the last moment. 
Everything was going well. Zen had decided that the theme of your picnic would be autumn, your outfits matched, and the coffee was still hot. Many photos had been taken and there was still time before leaving. Everything was perfect, until you noticed a group of girls sitting right next to you two.
At first you didn't care about it, you had a lot of other things to do with your boyfriend, but after a while, you couldn't help but notice the furtive glances they were giving to Zen. Their eyes shone when they saw him and they giggled like silly girls, whispering who knows what to each other. 
Maybe because you hadn't spent quality time with Zen in a while, these girls' behavior made you a little angry. And that possessive side that usually didn't come out, vibrated inside you. It was pretty obvious that you and Zen were in a relationship, but if these ladies didn't realize it, then you were more than happy to show them. 
"You look so handsome today," you said, loud enough for the girls to hear you. "These colors really suit you."
Zen looked at you with bright eyes, the most adorable blush spreading across his cheeks. "A-Ah, jagiya, you already said that! You just want to make me feel shy, don't you?" He giggled shyly, covering his beautiful smile with one of his hands. 
You smiled tenderly, grabbing his hand and chuckling when the ladies gasped. 
"I'm just telling the truth, Zenny. You are so handsome, how can I be so lucky to date someone like you?"
Zen laughed, his fair skin getting more pink as he held your hand back. "N-Nohow, why are you acting like this? Do you want my face to explode? Really, you!" He hid his smile with his free hand and you pouted. 
"Why do you keep hiding your smile, hmm?" You reached out to squeeze his side, making him squeal as he brought his arm down. "I want to see it!" You said, squeezing him again. 
"Ahahaha! J-Jagiyahah! Stohop teheasing me! You know I'm very ticklish!"
Your cheeks flushed. Oh, how could he be so adorable?! He would basically brush it off whenever someone complimented him, but if you did, he would become a blushy, giggly mess like this. 
You almost forgot that you were putting on a show for your spectators, you smirked, letting go of Zen's hand to grab his thin waist, making him squeak and giggle brightly as you started tickling him. 
"Ah, you certainly are very ticklish, huh? I think it just slipped my mind!" 
"N-Nohoho! Hohohonehehey! This ihihis unfahahair!" He giggled, trying to fight your tickly hands, but failing miserably as he fell on his back against the beautiful blanket under you both. 
"This is your fault, Zenny. You were hiding your precious smile from me! Now, I deserve to see it." Your hands traveled to his ribs and he kicked his legs with a cackle. 
"Not thehehere, nohohot there! You've seheheheen my s-smihihile!" He grabbed your arms, weakly pushing at them. "Nohohot my rihihibs plehehease!"
You giggled at his reaction. You were being gentle, just squeezing and poking here and there, but Zen was simply too ticklish for his own good. Agh, you needed to take a picture of his cute laughing face! 
"I have, indeed, but now I want to see it even more! Should I tickle you up here?" 
Zen shrieked when one of your hands moved higher, from his ribs towards his armpit. He pressed his arms tightly to his sides, not wanting to give you any space to climb to his weakest spot.
Zen shook his head, laughing nearly hysterically. "Plehehease! Anywhehehere but thehehere! Y-You knohohow I cahan get pretty lohohoud! Plehehease, Jahagiyaha!" 
You laughed, moving your hands back down to tickle his ribs. "Stop being so cute! You'll make me want to tickle you even more!" 
"I'll dihihihie!" 
Despise your words, your fingers actually slowed down until they stopped completely, and as Zen caught his breath, you leaned down and captured his lips in a kiss. He had to pull apart quickly, however, feeling breathless after laughing so much.
"You okay, baby?" You ask softly, brushing his bangs back. "Do you need some water? Let me just- haah! Z-Zen!"
You squeaked in surprise when Zen suddenly grabbed your waist and changed positions, now him hovering you with a wide smirk. You gulped, looking up at him with wide eyes. 
"Now, silly baby, don't think I didn't notice you were doing all of that because those girls were looking at us."
You quickly looked over at the girls and were surprised when you found they were gone! You had completely forgotten about them while you were tickling Zen! How disappointing. 
You huffed, trying to ignore the heat covering your cheeks as you looked back at him. "They were look at you and, I remind you, you are mine." 
His cheeks surely turned red and he stuttered a bit before he spoke again: "O-Of course I'm yours! And that's why you don't have to feel jealous! You're acting silly and for that…" 
"N-Nohohahaha! I'm sorry! I'm sohohohorry!" 
Zen chucked, "oh, yes you will very sorry right after I'm done with you!" 
You deserved it, but it didn't matter, Zen could tickle you until he was satisfied because at the end of the day, he was yours and you were his! 
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awkward-tension-art · 5 months ago
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Puppet on a String Chp.6 (Fives x Reader)
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Chapter 5. Chapter 7.
Tup
cw: Fives x Reader, Reader is a medical practitioner, angst, swearing, Death, violence, Medical abuse, Medical talk, seizures and neurological symptoms, Surgery, Brain surgery, self-blame, Nala Se being cruel, Fives crying is its own warning
Tag list (TYYYYY): @spicydonut25 @amazonian-bae @notgonnaedit @tentakelspektakel
You returned to Tup’s side. After your realization that Nala Se possibly had a hand in the deaths of your colleagues, you didn’t want to leave him alone. You told your lover your theory and he kissed your head in worry before you left. 
“Maybe whatever is causing his aggression is psychological,” Nala Se’s voice sent irritation through your blood as soon as you walked in, “It seems to be an isolated case.”
You were on guard now. Even with Shaak Ti, you couldn’t be certain of your safety on Kamino. 
“General Shaak Ti, Doctor Nala Se.” You bowed your head to them, “I’m sorry for my outburst and my behavior. Tup is a dear friend, and I’m worried for him.”
The togruta approached and put a hand on your shoulder, “Your emotions are understandable. I worry for him as well, but we must maintain a level head.”
“I understand, and again, I’m sorry.” You hoped by apologizing, you’ll be able to remain close to Tup. You didn’t trust Nala Se, and right now, you weren’t certain if you trusted Shaak Ti.
He needs me. You thought to yourself.
As soon as you straighten up, the life support machine beeped rapidly. Its screen flashed red as Tup seized again. His body thrashed and convulsed, eyes rolling back with another seizure. Without thinking, you got to his side, “Please let me help him.” you begged.
“I need an answer now.” the General stepped up next to you. She looked at Nala Se, gaze steady, “This isn't just a physical manifestation of psychosis. There is a cause and you must have missed something.”
“It's the anomaly in his brain!” You informed her yet again, “an atomic-level scan, phase 5, will confirm it, if you won’t accept the results from the umbaran scanner!”
“That is unnecessary.” Nala Se stared at you. Despite her voice being flat and cold, she held so much contempt for your very existence, “The phase 1 and 2 scans we did are sufficient. He's too weak for a phase 5 atomic-level scan.”
“He can handle it. I know Tup. he’s strong!” You pleaded, “Please, let me confirm what I saw earlier.” you squeezed his hand in your own. 
“The only way to discover what has happened to this clone is to terminate him and do a full-scale autopsy on the molecular level.” The Kaminoan met your emotion with basic apathy. 
“We must be cautious,” The Jedi controlled the room again with her words, “I do not believe this is a simple mental condition caused by possible Separatist brainwashing, there has been something done to Tup to cause this, that is wreaking havoc on his body and mind.”
“I do not agree. This is a virus of some kind,” Nala Se faced Shaak Ti again, trying to gain control, “I am in charge of this examination, and I will decide what is best for my patient.”
He’s my patient, you nearly snapped. 
You didn’t need to open your mouth, as the togruta woman next to you argued, “Actually, since the Republic and the Jedi commissioned the clones, it is our responsibility to oversee their care.”
That seemed to trigger something in the head scientist. She had a small twitch to her finger. The one giveaway that she was irritated, “Every clone and their genetic makeup is property of the Kaminoan government.” Nala Se was practically seething behind her flat voice, “Now, as a client of ours, I will respect your wishes, but as to the fate of this clone, I will speak to our Prime Minister, Lama Su.”
The General didn’t seem pleased with her tone, “And I will advise the Jedi Council on the atomic brain scan and see how they would like to proceed.” When she faced you, her words were much more patient, “As for you, please do whatever you need to keep Tup alive.”
You nodded, “Yes, General.”
“That is unneeded.” Nala Se argued again, “The medical droids-”
“When Tup was awake, he was much calmer when the Doctor took over his care.” Shaak Ti was steady in her command, “For the health of the patient, I believe it’s best for them to care for Tup until we have a plan.”
The Kaminoan seemed to hate such a compromise, “Do not touch his brain. We will need it intact for the autopsy.”
“Yes, Nala Se…” you mumbled, looking down at Tup. He had gone still again. 
Life support. Just maintain life support. You thought, petting his hair again. 
Once Shaak Ti and Nala Se walked out of the surgical suite, you returned to Fives. 
“How is he?” He jumped up from the examination table, “Is he alright?” 
“He’s deteriorating. At this point, if something isn’t done soon, there will be irreparable damage done to his brain.” You sighed, shaking your head. 
Your lover let out a disappointed breath and sat back down to put his face in his hands, “What do we do?” he asked, staring at the blacked-out window, “Nala Se isn’t above murder if it comes down to it.”
You sat down next to him, resting your head on his shoulder. One wrong move could get you, Fives and Tup killed. Or worse, get you and Tup killed and Fives reconditioned. 
No. You had to play your cards right. 
Except…you had an ace up your sleeve. 
“General Shaak Ti told me to do whatever I need to save Tup.” You straightened, getting to your feet, “Come on.” You grabbed Fives’ hand and rushed back to the room where they held him.
Luckily, no one was in the room still. Tup was still limp on the table, heart monitor beeping steadily. 
“Hang on, Tup.” You whispered, getting to the console on the other side of the room. Your fingers were rapidly typing, commanding the program to prepare the phase 5 scanner. 
“You're going ahead with the scan!” Fives smiled, “What can I do?” 
The scanner lowered down from the ceiling and booted up, “Get Tup inside the machine.” you commanded the ARC trooper. 
He nodded, “Yes, sir.” without another word he grabbed the hovering surgical table and pushed it carefully under the phase 5 scanner. It hummed to life and its lights blinked a few times before kicking on fully.  
Tup was stable enough through the process. You were correct that he was strong enough to handle the atomic scan. Your eyes were on the screen attached to the scanner taking in the data. 
“Almost done.” you informed Fives. He looked antsy as you waited. 
The screen lit up like fireworks. It blared an alarm and multiple areas of Tup's brain were highlighted as compromised. And lit up in red, was the exact same area where you scanned the anomaly.
Tumor, right where the anomaly was located.
The seizures. The neuron failure. The confusion.  aggression. and complete failure of his internal systems…All because of this tumor you had seen months ago. This tumor that your colleagues died for knowing about. The tumor you…hadn’t looked more into, even after seeing the scans.
And this tumor was in every single clone.
This was in Fives.
Tup’s life support beeped again. His seizures were picking up rapidly. There wasn’t any time. 
“Mesh’la?” Your lover’s eyes widened, getting to his best friends side, “Mesh’la what did you find?”
“Tumor.” you answered, pulling Tup from the scanner, “Necrotic tumor.” Your hands were on him, opening the restraints and getting him in the recovery position.
“Is that even possible!?” He asked, helping to hold the sick trooper steady. 
You swallowed, waiting for the seizure to pass. Once he was still, you had to think of a plan, “I need to do a biopsy.” Your words mumbled, “I need to get that tumor out. But we don't have time.”
Fives perked up, “I have an idea.” Without another word he dashed from the surgical room. After a few moments he returned, followed by a floating surgical assistant droid, “Mesh’la, this is AZ-3.”
“Hello, AZ-3.” you nodded, “This patient needs our help.” You trusted Fives, wholeheartedly, but what could the droid do?
“Can you hack into the medical center's mainframe?” The ARC trooper asked the little droid. 
AZ-3 nodded, “I do possess that ability, yes.”
You looked confused, but didn’t say anything as you put a mask over your mouth and nose. Your steps danced through the surgical room, gathering the tools you needed. 
Laser scalpel. Bone saw. Cauterizer. Surgical scope. Suction. Curette.
“All right. You need to hack into the mainframe and trigger an intruder alert. That’ll buy the Doctor enough time to begin surgery.”
Clever. You smirked, proceeding to the nearest sink to scrub your hands. Tup required surgery, and you followed all sterile protocols you possibly could. You slipped gloves on and, regrettably, without a gown, stepped to his side. 
You tried not to think about how much antibiotic solution he’d need after this. Just as you had a razor in your fingers, an alarm shrieked through the entire compound.
Intruder alert. Intruder alert. All nonessential personnel report to a safe room for lockdown.
“Ha! Good work, AZ!” Fives pat the robot. 
The razor buzzed in your hands and you shaved away a spot of Tup’s curly hair, “Sorry, Tup.” you whispered, putting the small gadget down and picking up a scalpel. “AZ-3, please bring me the datapad with the tumor’s location.”
The little robot did as told, “Doctor, I am programmed to assist in surgery.” He chimed.
“I know, AZ-3.” you responded, cutting through a part of Tup’s skull, “But I want visual confirmation of the tumor. If the margins aren’t clean, please take over.” 
“Yes, Doctor.” 
Fives tried to lean over your shoulder to watch, but you hissed, “Don’t look Fives, this is your friend.” 
“He’s your friend too.” 
“Hold his hand for me.” You responded, keeping your eyes down. As you worked to get to the tumor, you did your best to repair any damage. However, with horror, it hit you that you were too late, “Oh no no no….” you whispered, trying to remain calm, “The tumor’s necrosis has infiltrated healthy brain.” 
“Can you remove it?” your lover asked, pacing back and forth. 
“Removal of the necrotic brain tissue will also mean removing healthy brain tissue,” AZ-3 explained to the anxious clone, “Which, depending on the severity of the removal, will mean killing CT-5385.”
The intruder alarm cut off, and the ‘all clear’ ding echoed around Kamino.
You didn’t look up, “I have visual confirmation of the Tumor.” your brow furrowed, focused, “AZ-3, I need you to take over. I can’t get clean margins.”
The little robot followed his programming and hovered to your spot, “Yes, Doctor.” Once he had the tools in hand, you stepped back, allowing him to work on Tup. “I will now remove the tumor.” 
AZ-3 had the necrotic tumor removed and encased in bio-glass before you could even blink. Once the droid was out of the way, you returned to Tup’s side and picked up the cauterizer.
“Good, now with the tumor removed we can focus on healing-!” your words were cut off by the door to the room sliding open. 
“What have you done!?” Nala Se demanded, with several guards and Shaak Ti behind her. 
Fives answered before you could, “We've saved my friend's life!”
The Jedi stepped forward, “Doctor, I will get an explanation.”
“I did what I thought was right to save Tup,” You responded, putting down the surgical tool and ripping your gloves off, “and all due respect, General, but I was right from the very beginning. Look!” Your hands lifted the small glass rectangle that housed the tumor, “It was this! A tumor that turned necrotic! And it's in every clone!” 
Nala Se swiped it quickly, “Give me that!” She turned away, taking the chip out of your reach before you could grab it, “You have no proof!” 
Your ARC trooper lover stepped forward and grabbed the tumor, “You can’t be trusted!” He was on guard and ready to fight the Kaminoan.
Luckily, before any violence could occur, Shaak Ti put a stop to it, “Stand down, trooper,” She commanded, approaching Nala Se and plucking the chip from her fingers. 
“That's the proof General!” You begged her to understand, to finally listen, “That tumor, it was on the scans that I showed you originally.” Behind you, AZ-3 rapidly bandaged Tup’s surgical wound.
The Kaminoan scientist huffed, “Those scans were unreliable and-.”
Your rage was directed at Nala Se, “You are a filthy, unethical liar!” you seethed, opening your mouth to spit some vile insults when you were stopped by a small, tired voice.
“Free…” Tup’s weak whisper shut the entire room down, “The mission…free…”
“Tup!” Fives turned and grabbed his hand, kneeling down, “Tup, I’m here…” 
“I’m free…the mission…” He wheezed. 
Tears blurred your vision. You had been too late. Those words…You’ve held terminal clones’ hands while they whispered something similar. They always spoke of a never ending mission before slipping away forever.
Tup was dying.
“What is he saying?” Shaak Ti whispered, putting a hand on your back.
Your lover looked distraught, “Brother…What mission?” He asked, tenderly holding the back of the sick trooper's head. 
“You... you know the one….” Tup whispered, “The... the mission, the one in our dreams…”
You looked at the life support machine and silently walked over to preemptively mute it. An alarm would only make things worse once his heart stopped…and it would. It was only a matter of time.
Your throat was tight and you returned to the Jedi’s side, covering your eyes with your arm to weep silently. 
Someone, another clone, put a hand to your shaking shoulders.
“Oh, brother…” Tup whispered, voice weak and trembling. Fives grabbed the dying soldier's hand, “This is the end…forget the mission…” His body went slack, and he breathed his last, “I’m free…”
The loyal clone trooper slipped away.
“No…no!” The ARC trooper burst out, tears slipping down his cheeks, “I thought we saved him!” His voice cracked with emotion as he fell to soft crying. 
You moved and knelt by his side, wrapping your arms around your lover. Frankly, you didn’t care who saw such a tender, vulnerable moment. right now, he needed you. He needed your love and affection.
You held Fives as he wept over the loss of his brother. In your grief and mourning, you felt anger. At Shaak Ti’s inaction. At Nala Se’s cruelty. At your inability. 
Tup was gone.
Because of them. Because of you.
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razum-chris · 1 year ago
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Why is Toji's disappearance a betrayal for Megumi?
Megumi Fushiguro's behavior has a realistic background. His behavior depends entirely on what his childhood was like. Using the example of Megumi, one can see one of the manifestations of the trauma of abandonment, the result of the influence of his parents leaving his life.
From infancy to a certain age, Megumi grew up only with Toji, without a mother - the basis for the emergence of the trauma of abandonment. After stress due to the appearance of the stepmother. The critical moment is the betrayal of adults. And it is worth mentioning the ensuing consequence - the desire to be strong.
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Megumi Base - trauma of abandonment in the form of the attitude “Nobody needs me and Tsumiki, our parents abandoned us, so we don’t need anyone but each other. We are our own adults.” After starting to live alone with Tsumiki, Megumi began to deny any adult figure in his life; age is not authority; frivolity and irresponsibility are disgusting; morality and morality are not a hindrance to committing vile acts.
Tsumiki turned out to be the lifeline - the only outlet for Megumi. He pulled himself together, denying any other authority: “If my father abandoned us, then I'll take over my father's responsibility and will take care of Tsumiki."
Toji is an anti-example for Megumi, which leads to a conclusion: why do she and Tsumiki need adults if they are irresponsible? The fact that Megumi did not allow Satoru close to his family, giving him the opportunity to help only financially, but not in everyday life, just shows that Megumi denies any influence of elders on him and Tsumiki.
Megumi embodied Toji's duties. The traditional father, responsible for protection and strength. He doesn’t want to feel less important, he needs to realize that he makes the decision, and not Tsumiki decides for him. He protects his sister, provides her with comfort. Behaves like an adult.
Such a family is an destructive manifestation of the trauma of abandonment. From an early age, children are forced to play roles that are not theirs and take responsibility for their parents’ mistakes.
Growing up results in feelings of worthlessness, avoidance, low self-esteem, and denial of the importance of attachment to people other than one's sister. Megumi takes it as a constant that he has no one except Tsumiki. Close relationships and building them with strangers is an incredibly difficult and unnecessary thing.
His whole personality is a denial of adults and absolute independence, almost counter-dependence.
Toji and Satoru were not really father figures to Megumi. He didn't need it because he raised himself.
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aph-america · 10 months ago
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[ RusAme secret Santa for @erismor-iok ! ]
“Thank you for sneaking away with me, parties make me a bit anxious…”
Ivan put his hand carefully on Alfred’s back as they walked into his bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he was happy to be in the safety of his room. The sense of security brought down his nerves. While it could be fun to dress up and chat with others, Ivan could easily get overwhelmed by the parties his family threw. He had to be on his best behavior, and couldn’t risk embarrassing his family or image. The pressure was a bit much for the young adult, who would need a break from time to time.
Alfred was a fantastic distraction. From everything, now. Ivan’s older sister Katyushka, who was queen of their planet, had been pushing Ivan to chat with single royals of other empires. Ivan being only a prince, he would only be in line for the crown if something were to happen to his sister. However, his older sister proved to be healthy, and had plans on having children. Everything laid on her, and she had plans to keep her rule going. But his sister still wished to give something to her brother, and didn’t want him to stay a ‘prince’ for all his life.
“There’s plenty of nice princes or even king’s! Don’t worry, we’ll find you a husband.”
While it only came out of love and wanting the best for her younger brother, Ivan found the idea of being married off slightly terrifying. Ivan didn’t enjoy the spotlight, and honestly felt satisfied from the perks and responsibilities of being just a prince. He didn’t feel like he needed more- it was another power and privilege, and he partly was scared of the responsibility of having to lead a whole empire or planet.
Not to mention, he hated the idea of marrying someone who he didn’t love. The boy had a passion for reading, and spent too many hours lost in romance novels. His own mind would fall into the fantasy of meeting a guy who made him laugh and feel good about himself. He didn’t care if he was a commoner or the leader of the universe; he simply wanted something genuine.
Ivan wondered if it was silly and a goal that was unreasonable for his social status and upbringing. But a boy could dream.
And he would dream about Alfred, his Jedi bodyguard.
At first Ivan thought the need for a bodyguard to be unnecessary. He felt that he could fend for himself and wasn’t in any danger. However, he changed his tune at first sight of Alfred. Then the idea of someone following him around isn’t so bad.
Ivan became infatuated quite fast; the boy was different from the rest. While Alfred is protective and looks after Ivan, he isn’t a yes man. Ivan didn’t get the fake niceness he got from most people. No fake opinions, Alfred spoke his mind and didn’t care who he was speaking to. Ivan adored being around someone genuine, who saw him more than a prince. He felt like everyone around him was fake in a sense. It seemed like most people treated him a certain way because they felt like they had to, or they wanted something out of him. It dug into Ivan’s heart, as it became hard to navigate through his relationships.
Ivan still had trouble reading Alfred at times. He had fallen hard for the man, and would drop hints from time to time about his attraction. But it all seemed to bounce off of Alfred. Yet, sometimes it seemed like Alfred was flirting or trying to be romantic with Ivan at another moment. Ivan thought that he would only get a straight answer if he made a first move. However- that was terrifying.
But after hours of contemplating on what to do, he thought doing it the night of the party would be a good moment. Perhaps he’d read too many romance novels, but he hoped being dressed up and looking his best could help win over his crush. Which he was- his sister had decided on a winter wonderland theme. Ivan's outfit could be described sparkly, his long robe being white lace with crystals on it. His hands, wrist, and neck were iced out in pure white diamonds; Ivan isn’t a materialist person but he hoped to impress Alfred. He even wore his crown, which was rare. It was simple as he hated large crowns. It’s thin and small, having clear gems put in the platinum metal. It suited Ivan’s style.
Patting an empty space next to him on his bed, he signaled for Alfred to take a seat. Which the Jedi did, smiling as he enjoyed being close and having alone time with Ivan. His own heart had fallen, but the man tried to distract and act as if he didn’t know it as much as possible. Because he shouldn’t fall in love. He can’t. But it was easier said than done.
“It’s not a problem- I bet this all gets… kind of tiring after a while. Speaking to a million people over and over again.” He spoke in agreement. Ivan nodded, looking down at his small glass of white wine. “It is- and so formal. None of it feels real.” He confessed, before looking back up again. “But it is okay. I have you around. You make me happy.” He gushed, a soft smile growing on his face as he softly placed his hand on Alfred’s shoulder. His fingers played with his shirt, trying to be flirtatious.
The Jedi seemed to enjoy the attention and gave a smirk back, having a small blush on his cheeks. “I like being around you too…” He agreed, not minding Ivan’s soft touches. He naturally leaned in as a result.
Ivan took it as a positive sign, deciding to go forward with his move making. “My sister… she keeps… telling me to talk to all the single princes and king’s… she is trying to get me a husband…”
Alfred’s sly smirk turned into a neutral expression, the corner of his mouth twitching as if the idea upset him. He tried to change his expression to one of not being pressed, but his stiffened body language said otherwise. “You don’t have to marry anyone you don’t want to…. You’re… you’re too young anyway.” Alfred defended the idea of Ivan staying single. It seemed to irk him the idea of Ivan getting engaged and moving far away.
Ivan read it all as a positive sign. His heart started to beat, as he had a little, pleased smile on his face and a blush to match. It was almost like his Jedi was getting a bit possessive over him, and that pleased Ivan like nothing else. “I know. I do not want to marry someone just because they are royal… I think it is just… an outdated concept… I already like someone anyway…”
The last sentence was said in a low voice, as it was hard for Ivan to spit out. He looked to the side, his face turning up a notch in terms of redness. Alfred looked at his crushes burning face, tensing up more. Was Ivan talking about him or someone else?
“No… I can’t think like that.” He thought, trying to knock away the idea of being happy that Ivan loved him back. He couldn’t be in a relationship. He couldn’t fall in love. He couldn’t let his life be ruled by emotions. The idea was drilled into his head since he was a young child. Romance, sex, love, kisses, intimacy; those human experiences were all taken from him.
But it was hard to keep his mind away from relationships every time he saw Ivan smile or blush. His heart would beat faster, wishing he could lean in more.
However, it was no, no, and no.
“... Who?” It spilled out, which Alfred mentally kicked himself for, especially after lecturing himself about not falling into the trap of being in love with Ivan.
Ivan’s face deepened in red, looking down at his wine again as he offered a nervous smile. “Just some… cute guy…. He has a cool weapon… and I like his braid.. is that silly?” He finally looked up, his face reading bashfulness and being shy. Coyness seemed to be the only way Ivan found himself admitting his feelings, and he prayed that Alfred would pick up on it.
Alfred’s heart kept racing. While Alfred could be obvious, it was slapping him in the face. He knew Ivan was talking about him, but he didn’t know how to handle it! Ivan was tempting, and he found it difficult to resist. His eyes would glance at Ivan’s full pink lips, wondering what they’d look like with little bruises.
“Ugh. I’m disgusting.” He mentally scolded himself.
“Cute… Cute boys make me nervous… Ha! … My sister wants me to save myself for marriage… She says men like it…” his anxiety only amped up, he felt his voice getting more low and shaky. He’s never confessed a crush or love for another person. He wasn’t even sure if he was doing it right! Alfred’s ears perked up at the idea of Ivan never having a first kiss. He liked that. No one has gotten to put their lips on his Ivan.
Alfred mentally kicked himself again for thinking Ivan was his.
“Have you ever kissed someone?” He asked, finally looking at him again. He had heard rumors that Jedi weren’t supposed to get married or have relationships, but he’s also heard of it happening. Would Alfred really live a life of abstinence? He came off as too free spirited.
Alfred looked down, shaking his head. He kept silent for a moment. “No. The force has to guide me. Not emotions. It’s… just not my destiny.” Something felt wrong saying that. Alfred couldn't put his tongue on it, but a part of his soul felt jabbed at saying that he could never be in love. He felt something for Ivan.
Why is it a bad thing?
“Oh….”
Ivan’s smile faded slightly, with his lips twitching. His heart hurt hearing Alfred shrug off the idea of a relationship when he was in the mist of confessing his love for him. Maybe he needed to try harder.
Taking a sip of the wine to calm his nerves, he put it up to Alfred’s lips, offering some. “Want a sip? It is very sweet…. I think you’d like it.” In hopes of being cute, he didn’t want to give up on flirting just yet, even if his voice was shy and it is clear he is anxious.
Alfred shook his head, denying the drink. “Nah, I can’t do that…” No drugs or alcohol were a part of the lifestyle as well. Nothing that fogs the mind.
Ivan tried to hold back a pout, but did understand and pull away the drink. Taking another sip, he chose a different route of flirting. “I.. can’t believe you’ve never kissed someone… you are so handsome… I bet a lot of boys and girls would want to kiss you… Heh…” he let out a small, nervous chuckle, wishing he came off less awkward. He didn’t have experience flirting, as his queen sister kept him away from boys that Ivan seemed to get crushes on. She didn’t want him to have any temptations.
“I am rather jealous, I wish someone would want to kiss me…” He offered a nervous smile, even if he was putting himself down. It being a gentle opinion of himself, he never viewed himself as attractive or desirable. While people would be friendly to him, he never got flirted with, or at least never had interactions that gave hints of it. He wondered if he just was unattractive. His older sister told him otherwise, but all his crushes seemed one-sided. Not to mention, he younger sister Natalia had constant suitors. Maybe he is just weird?
Alfred looked at him, his eyes soft as he frowned. He thought Ivan was a beautiful and sweet person, it made him sad to hear that Ivan didn’t think highly of himself. Especially since Alfred was smitten by the prince. He couldn’t be the only person to fall for the boy.
“I bet someone wants to kiss you…” He whispered, looking at Ivan’s lips. He leaned in slowly, ignoring the voices in his head to stop. He couldn’t- he felt a pull. He let himself lead by emotions-
“Oh?” Ivan smiled, noticing Alfred leaning in. Slowly as well, he did too, and once his face was closer, he started to close his eyes and mentally prepare himself for their lips to meet. His heart overflowing with joy, he couldn’t believe he was about to kiss Alfred.
But then he could when Alfred pulled away.
Shaking his head, he looked to the other side. “I- I can’t. I’m sorry. I… Fuck-“ He swore, getting up and basically running out of his room. Ivan stood frozen, trying to process what just happened. And when he did, his eyes started to well up with tears as his heart cracked. Placing the glass of wine on his dresser, the boy bursted out into tears. He hadn’t felt so rejected; it felt so cruel for Alfred to lean in as if he was about to kiss him. Only for him to pull away.
Getting under the covers, he tried to control his crying. He couldn’t believe how foolish he was to think Alfred loved him back. Why would he? Every negative thought about himself flooded his mind. Maybe getting married off wasn’t a horrible idea. Maybe… is it better than being alone?
Alfred couldn’t run far. Once he closed Ivan’s door, he leaned against it, knowing he couldn’t abandon Ivan. Putting his head on the door, he cried sniffles that could only be from Ivan. It felt like someone shoved something sharp into his chest. He couldn’t forgive himself for making his love cry- for hurting him so badly. His own eyes filled with tears, he sat down on the floor, hugged his knees, and placed his head on them.
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