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Ew, cramps
#praying for early menopause tbh#my mom had it early and thinks i will too#pleaseeee i feel terrible#and day 2 is always the worst#not looking forward to tomorrow 😭#it’s actually not nearly as bad as the last 2 months#so far 🤞#why must my own body rebel on me like this every month?#yes i know im not pregnant thanks#I'm a gay asexual who doesn't want the responsibility of children#this is all entirely unnecessary
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can’t talk about it
[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.
Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."
The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"
The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."
The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."
The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."
The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]
#vashwood#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#Theyre both thoroughly exhausted tired individuals -- vash having to fight this lonely battle for over a hundred years and getting dragged#back into inevitable situation with knives after a 2 years hiatus of being a gunslinger. they both need so much Rest and comfort in this#department... .SIGHS. BUT I JUST THINK ABOUT WOLFWOOD . AND HOW... LITTLE He has existed on no man's land. how majority of his years being#alive is being used as a weapon and to kill when him at his very core is the most giving and selfless individual ever#badlands rumble inspired me a bit but i do think wolfwood gets dragged into occasional tasks from the eye of michael while on his duty of#guiding vash -- or i think that one chapter where we got to see other members of eom -- there's like a clear division within the eom too#i think.... so i figured similarly to vash but not to the same amount -- there are people that look for wolfwood too. but most of the time#it's probably wolfwood that has to look for someone else and take them out. i feel like it happens ever so occasionally.#evidentially these two don't talk enough canonically but they always know how to express things properly to affirm that they're okay#they have the worst time ever sharing burdens - can't willingly burden the other and has neeever asked for help or reprieve in their#desperate situations... vw is a huge case of right person wrong time syndrome so they just. in the time they get to spend together -- even#if romantically - they don't have enough time to heal to get over that kind of hurdle. They've just never asked for help in all the years#they've been alive -- they don't even know how to and its just aughhhsgskg#and well! they don't even need to ask! because they'll be there for each other anyway at the end of the day -- company and presence alone.#ruporas art
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ok i've been thinking about how to answer The Color Asks for so long now. Once I start talking about colors I never stop, it seems. This is just me attempting to explain my personal thought process and not any universal rules or anything like that.
None of this is going to look very realistic at all. You need to exaggerate a little. That being said, having fundamental knowledge on how shadows and ligh tsources work is very useful. Know the rules before breaking them and all that.
Boiled down to its basics, what I think of is: if a lightsource is cold toned, make the highlight bright blue. if a light source is warm, make the highlight bright orange. Then contrast the light with a complementary shadow color that does not compete for dominance with the light. Or alternatively make the light source more neutral with a complimentary tone for the shaded areas and then add a highly saturated color in the deepest shadows. Having both a highly saturated light source and a shadow color will compete with each other, instead choose one to be the dominant and one to be the um. submissive i suppose.
Just using a random doodle from my sketchbook for the purpose of throwing some color on:
^^^ Here the midtones and the areas in the shade are predominantly of a low saturated cool blueish tone, while the highlight is stark and warm with orange and red light bouncing off. The orange and red hues you often see in skin that is lit by a strong light is called subsurface scattering (sss), one of the most important concepts in art IMO. It livens things up so much.
^^^Opposite from image 1, here the shaded area is a saturated golden color while the light source is a dull blue with hints of more vivid blue throughout. the blue balances the strong yellows and browns. Since the shaded area is bigger than the highlighted area, the subject matter could look quite monochromatic without the blue hints.
^^^Get wild with it. Lets say your highlight is blue toned: instead of just using a blue, introduce purple, teal, turquoise, ultramarine, cyan, etc around where the light is hitting. Add several light sources in different colors, make it not make sense, get crazy.
Though what is important above all else is that the image reads clearly. Unless you're doing abstract art then you'd probably want the audience to understand what they're looking at. That's where values come in, probably the number one cause of confusing pieces of art. If you can turn the painting black and white and still see the subject matter clearly then the values are good.
I find that i love using colors that most people find garish, especially when they're on their own, for small highlights and points of interest. When paired with other more neutral colors, a bright orange or a chartreuse etc can really brighten up a painting. And colors are never what they seem, the human eye will interpret colors differently depending on what color they are next to. Make full use of this.
Hope this long ass post helps anyone who is struggling with color, I know I used to struggle severely myself xoxo
#my art#long post#recovering from playing dark souls 2 for like 20 hours the past few days#i hate bitches who are like 'colorpick from my fursona ref if u want to draw her! do not get her colors wrong!'#maybe that would work if the fursona is always going to be standing in a white void but environments are going to change the colors#i also hate bitches who want to say that there is an objective worst color#there isnt. green gold/chartreuse/raw umber/pyrrol orange etc has done more for society than colorhaters ever will
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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Hello... I live 😭🙏🏼
#a;msg#🍒#just barely but hey#it’s been a while#haha sorry you know how it goes... life amirite 👺#i’m gonna be around for 2 weeks or so (for sure hopefully) because GOODNESS I FINALLY GOT A VACATION WOOP WOOP 🗣️‼️#can’t promise a lot tho. erm :/ i’m in my final year of college and i haven’t had a ton of time#but!!!!!! i’m making something for k day!!!!!! on that note happy k day everyone 🥳🥳🥳 my belovedest#as they say 🦜 graphic design is my passion 🤠🙌🏼#i still have one more panel to work on but hey it’s going somewhere so i’m allowed to be annoying here right 😁?#you guys i had finals starting from the release day of aorashi 😔.. my nonexistent luck always striking at the worst moments#so i was gone. survived the finals but was burnt out beyond comprehension. then new sem started 😭#vacation started early october but honestly am just :/ still burnt out... but had to show up on k day bc yEAH#honestly forgot how much of a love hate relationship i have with graphic design but despite everything i AM enjoying it#(of course i am it has k’s face everywhere) 😛#sorry for rambling update i guess 🙆🏽♀️#edit: i will also catch up with my tag and queue everything!!! cannot wait to see the lovely stuff 🤩🤩
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just another long hard day of being autistic
#also i know my bday was 2 days ago atp but ill finish answering birthday asks tomorrow#sorry for being the worst but someone has to be and it’s always me
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this is so 😭 like babe pick a struggle already jesus
#whenever i see this video on my feed it cracks me up because louis is anyway shipping himself with harry at the end#LIKE LOUIS BABE 2+2 is always 4#man was so whipped from day one#like#THIS IS WORST THAN THE WIND MAKES NICE WAVES#louis tomlinson#harry styles#larry#louis and harry#larry stylinson#stylinson#harry and louis#larries#larry fandom#larry memes#one direction memes#one direction#one direction fandom
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ive got an essay due at 3pm tomorrow and ive not even looked at it i am so so unserious about my degree and by the grace of some higher being i somehow keep managing to crawl through it's actually getting a bit funny
#me and an old friend of mine used to have a running joke during a-levels that im just one of those people where shit Works Out#and it started bc we shared two a-levels (english and economics) and in BOTH classes i regularly didn't do the homework#or the reading etc and yet it would ALWAYS work out for me#like we'd walk into a class neither of us having done the homework and they'd get yelled at while i went under the radar somehow#or that one english essay i got the highest score in the class when i literally hadn't even read the fucking book it was on#and when we pointed the theory out it started just becoming really prevalent#like no matter how late i am for things i'll arrive and by some miracle the thing im late for is also late (e.g a train or teacher)#like im just one of those people that has very very mundane luck#and low and behold i am fighting this degree with bloody fists putting the absolute bare minimum in for my own sanity's sake#and i SOMEHOW keep pulling through. literally failed two modules last year and STILL got a 2:1 average#and the last essay i wrote was the worst essay id ever done in my life and i get my standards are higher bc ik im good at essays#but the point still stands and you know what? i got a FIRST#literally was pure waffle i have never blagged it so hard and i got a FIRST#and all this shit just makes me cockier and cockier and go even more by the skin of my teeth and it ALWAYS WORKS OUT#it's soooo silly but im not complaining. anyway ill keep u posted about this essay <3 it's econ history so is actually interesting#but the most ive done for it is ask the sc ai lmao and for context degree-level essays usually require a good few days of graft#live love laziness#hella goes to uni
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uni student finally gets reprieve from school, plays uni simulator for six hours
im not joking ive really been playing for six hours
#ts4#s#im fucking crazy... but im free#discover university gameplay always has me in a chokehold idk why but that shit is how i start 90% of new saves#worst part is ive only played 2 days in game ive just been setting up the save the whole time#and soon as i post this im taking a shower and hopping right back in hehehe#her name is eileen and shes my everything my whole world my sugar plum drop my angel#*eileen gen#*soju save
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This is about GOS2 but not quite -just wanted to tell you how refreshing (and calming) it is to see someone dislike something, or disagree with something, or someone (Neil, in this case) while being completely polite and respectful to people who do like it (the show, the ship, this season specifically, whatever) and not doing personal attacks or being insulting or downright hostile or aggressive. Just... Liking what you like, not liking what you don't like, and being in your own "bubble" so to speak. I adore the first season, and some moments in this one (not the season in general), and I've had to see and start avoiding absolutely wild stuff since 2019, from haughty superiority from book first fans calling people who liked the show absolute idiots, people directly attacking fanwork creators or even Tennant, Sheen and Gaiman themselves, to even worse stuff I'd rather not think about. As you can probably already imagine, that specific kind of dumpster fire has only gotten worse since the release of S2.
My take on fandom has always been to enjoy what you enjoy and ignore the rest unless it's something serious with real-world implications or consequences. It's always stressed me out how people can get, to the point that for several years I stopped engaging with fandom entirely, and I just wanted to say this, I guess, because it's been a breath of fresh air. I wish more people engaged with fictional material and fandom the way you do. Cheers, hope you have nice day and that this wasn't too weird of a message to get
This is really beautifully put, thank you for the nice message! Yeah all-in-all, these are just a show/a book/content made for people's entertainment, and there's absolutely no reason to get to the point of attacking the cast and crew or fans personally.
#ask#nice ppl#I'm not gonna pretend that I'm always level-headed and calm but I know better than to lash out on a public blog that everyone can see#And 1. Neil Gaiman WAS still following me on the first few days after the show came out at the peak of my anger so#as mad as I was I still can't bring myself to say the worst words in front of my...mutual...? 😂 so thank you Neil for controlling me ig LOL#2. some of my old friends actually really liked the show and that doesn't change how much I like them?#Just like how my friends and I have different opinions on media all the time? Sometimes I'm in the majority sometimes I'm in the minority#3. I have outlets aka DMs and groupchats with like-minded ppl (or ppl who don't care) who I trust where I can spew the worst venom 🤣#Basically where nobody else on the receiving end will ever be able to see#So I guess the lesson is...find someone you can confide in so you don't have to show your true colors to everybody#so you can appear calm and collected in public alksdjhalskdhas
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Knives, Many,
#musings#i got my period on my birthday which was unironically a huge birthday present#bc the worst and most painful days are always the 2 after i get it#which means none of my cramps will be happening during my weekend trip (knock on wood)#but. Sure does hurt now guys
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gets no romantic attention: i want to kill myself
gets romantic attention: i want to kill myself more
#the way this guy pops up in my life every 2 years since i was 16 is astrologically comical bc its always at the worst times#like id LOVE to finally try myself out in a relationship and i deff want to focus on this once im through all the uni and job shit#but please ANYONE but him ANYONE but someone i actually think highly of and someone who deff over romanticizes me in his head for sooo long#bc i know bc ive been told bc i can SEE it#like dude im nothing like the person who knew years ago!!! im trash!!! and im fine with that but you wouldnt be#anyway this year he saw me on the tram i guess#WHEN I WAS UGLY!!!! and crying a bit i guess#and he just haaad to let me know today of all days when im 5 days and 21 pages away from my thesis submission#i want to ghost him so bad i dont want to talk to him i dont want to date him id rather fling myself off the balcony#than to disappoint him#but i also dont want to hurt him??#anyway#someone sedate me
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There is a very specific sort of antisemitism that is seemingly common in mental health facilities and its fucking terrifying
#the last 2 times ive been in a mental hospital it was always the most visibly jewish person who got targeted by nurses#and i happened to be the most visibly jewish person in a psychward the last time#its like. the 1st time there were more jewish people in there and the one of us who got it the worst was an older woman with bipolar disord#and like. many of us who noticed how terrible she was getting treated had to tell staff off multiple times#like wtf stop u r literally just poking her with a stick at this point trying to get her to have a meltdown so u have an excuse#to lock her away#it was so fucked#and the rest of us jews in there were like... slightly more stable enough to ignore the taunting from staff#like they'd find the smallest shit to get on our asses about or tell us we're being delusional abt things out of nowhere#like they tried to get a rise out of us specifically so they could frame us as crazy and neurotic when we get frustrated#and the last time i had the mosfortune of being the 1 of 2 jews who was visible and very unstable#i was made sick by nurses on purpose and then gaslit when i was up all night vomiting#i had to be given an injection and sedated the next day just so i would stop projectile vomiting all over my room#i had multiple seizures and they told.me i was throwing myself on the floor#they did things to make me break on purpose#and they did it to others to but#it was different w how they did it to me?#and when they didn't let me go to the main eating area bc i kept fainting/seizing they ordered me shit with pork when i have kosher diet#it was fucked and i know this is a problem#its a problem in outpatient too#i ended up homeless for like a year bc an antisemitic counselor fucked me over#vent
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ppl really b acting as if there's only one specific ship that has weird shippers that will complain about ppl not shipping their otp. it's literally always the case you either get fucked over for liking a gay ship or for liking a straight ship or for liking a toxic ship or people just start going "oh there's nothing wrong with the ship but the shippers💀" and you don't fucking know what they're talking about. like can we all just chill. the weird shippers r everywhere it's called some ppl are assholes sometimes. it's not fandom specific
#it's like with the “x ship sent death threats to the author!”#first of all : proof?#second of all: I've heard this for multiple diff ships that is not new that is not exclusive to one fandom or one ship.#sometimes ppl in fandom r too invested and do stupid shit#god#I'm sorry I doomscrolled another Instagram reel comment section#it's just. I'm so tired of ppl talking about mha's fandom as if it's the worst thing of all time?#first of all no its not? fucking chill?#second of all. if the fandom is ruining the show for you then genuienly get off the internet#third. so sorry but half of the time when ppl say the mha fandom is awful they're either calling it cringe (fandom is always cringe get over#it it's ok) they're complaining about everything being gay (so you're a homophobe ok. literally what is wrong with making character queer#ON OUR OWN INTERPRETATIONS OF THE STORY. DUDE.#)#or theyre just.... picking up random shit thats been rumored to have happened or that's just an isolated thing that happens all the time in#every fandom (refer to my earlier points)#genuienly. if the fandom pisses you off that much. get off the internet . block the tags. like for your health.#it's so annoying to try and look at mha stuff or even TALK IRL#WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKE MHA#(i am not fucking with you this has happened)#and being told or reading that oh mha is fun but the fandom sucks :///#sorry you don't experience whimsy and are incapable of curating your own experience?#Jesus#(there's also the ppl who r like ugh mha is mid mha sucks in like comments of mha fan but like fuck these guys#you're entitled to your opinion I if you don't like mha that's fine I'm not going to throw eggs at you but like...#why do u feel the need 2 go into a comment section of stuff that is about mha to say that mha sucks actually and the author is bad and the#characters r badly written and blah blah blah. LEAVE ME ALONEEEE)#Anyway maybe one day I will finally leave Instagram but for now I can't bc fukcing. ppl r on there#mumblings//#rant
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one thing about me is if i find it funny i will fully commit to a bit idc
#like one irl friend will do it with me but she has the same kind of brainrot lowkey but also i like reactions sometimes so ill just commit#thats on being ignored as a kid unless i was being over the top n then still ignored sometimes#i just think reactions r amusing it doesnt always have to be the one i want either as long as i get one bc ill get the one i want eventually#....im mentally ill n will not b fixing it <3#remembering watching a streamer talk about how she does bits at bars just to see reactions n dad was like weird thats psycho behavior n#i was like ....no it makes perfect sense she does that its strangers so they give the best reactions if u get them 2 react#ive said some unhinged shit knowing someone was listening just so see them react my fav was turning being touched as a kid into a rly bad#joke n i got a reaction bc i committed....i should not have committed but it was funny or the time i was like whats the worst thing#that happens if we go to the park at night rn what i get assaulted again 2day? once that one made someone walk away from us which was wanted#i wasnt having a good day clearly n didnt have a good like 3 months after
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I've cried 4 times today over the same thing and like every single time I am alone in a room I start sobbing
I'm tired so I put my phone down but istg the second I put it down I started thinking ab it and nearly started crying again and had to get it back on
#halloween is like my favorite thing and i love the entire month of october. like i was so fucking exited this year#im always super excited but like it was pretty much the thing i was most exited for this year#like i had a shitty september and ive generally been feeling pretty shit#and im having surgery the day before.#its a toenail removal (my second one- isnt that fan fucking tastic m) and i wont be able to walk for at least a week after#and it was so so painful for at least 2 months#but like its booked in the half term 5 days before i go back to school (im doing gcse mock exams pretty soon so i kinda have to go in)#every time i see halloweeny stuff i feel really sad which is so weird for me bc like i love halloween so much#im full on crying now and its before midnight so thats 5#this sounds so overdramatic but having surgery was the most painful thing ive ever gone through#and having to do it again was literally my worst fear like a few months ago i was crying at the thought of having to do it again#and now its rlly happening and on such a bad time for me#im so so sad and im rlly scared#theres so much stuff you can do to get rid of this without surgery but none of them have done it#if anything its worse now#vent post#in the tags#personal rant
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