#and cuddling n kissing someone when u have weird hang ups around being treated like a woman in a het relationship is not great for me

[msdk-00]

perhaps the move is to stop pining for a relationship n having uncomfortable talking stages and just go on the sexual equivalent of a gap year backpacking across europe which in this context means i dom a bunch of boys w no strings attached

[neko-rogers]

hey!! I’m not sure if your inbox is still open but I thought I’d send this just in case! what would you think abt a dark!peter who’s obsessed w s/o and offers to have her stay with him during like the stay-at-home pet of covid so she’s not alone then when it’s lifted he’s like lol you’re not leaving. sorry that’s kinda long and super specific. i absolutely love your writing though!!💗

Jamie All Over

words: 2,040 (no, i should be sorry bc this was chaotic)

tags: didn’t expect it to be this LONG, manipulative!peter parker, grooming, overprotectiveness, slight mentions of sex, don’t expect too much lmao its a headcanon

a/n: hi babe! i wasn’t entirely sure if you wanted this as a one shot (but if u do let me know!)

so you’re pretty unaware of every move peter is trying to do with you, you know? you were not really sure if it was a kind gesture, as the gentleman he seemed to be, or was it just a special treatment

ever since second year and until now as both of you were on your fourth year, he was consistent with his efforts

these moves were moments like when he would carry your books to your next class or confidently invite you to a study ‘date’ at the library after – often times he tells that his friends were invited, but would never show up later on

sometimes he would bring you lunch. you tried to turn it down kindly, but he insists that it was purposely packed as an extra for when he stays late around the university.

it was a lie though. anyone could tell by the way it was prepared looking very appetizing and tasted just as amazing at it was presented. 

and as peter had mentioned that he lived alone, you also assumed he was the one to make his meals. you were so sure he doesn’t pack for an extra and intentionally wants to impress you with his skills.

“hey, y/n!,” he calls, “look this eggroll has a cute design!”

he honestly was an epitome of a walking sunshine. his smile seemed so pure and you never felt any ill-intent for every gesture he had done for you

his friends seemed very welcoming the moment he introduced you to his group

you got along with ned who seemed to be just as joyful and funny as peter. meanwhile mj was a bit more of a tough cookie, nevertheless you both eventually got a long better than you expected

however, it came to one point wherein your own group of friends started being disheartened with your lack of communication

“you’ve been spending more time with that parker boy, huh?” “yeah, kinda?” “are you two like... dating?” “oh no! no... no... nooo!”

the moment they frowned at you was then that you realized and felt a little more guilty. you always remembered that friends were supposed to be friends despite the lack of time and effort, right?

somehow you tried to compensate for the lack of time with your friends. but every minute you spend felt more awkward than before

they weren’t sharing the same vibe with you and you were starting to question if it had been always like it – were you only adjusting to them?

you reached out for peter, considering that he became one of the closest and trusted people around the university. plus, he seemed to have genuinely great friends

“do you feel happy when you’re spending time with them?”

“well i used to but recently–”

“then you should stop being friends with them.”

you were upset for a second. the way he instantly told you that cutting ties with them would be the (only) option

he sounded serious on the other end of the line and you were just speechless for a moment. the dead air between lines was evident, but you didn’t know what to say

“sorry,” peter makes up, “i didn’t mean to sound too serious. i just don’t like people who are rude, especially to you.”

“oh, it’s fine. i totally get it.” you felt a batch of butterflies around your stomach. someone actually cared for you!!!

the moment you didn’t hesitate on losing your friendship with your past friends and moved on with joining peter’s group, things felt lighter.

somehow you felt more expressive than you realized. they were open to your ideas and thoughts, just as you were with them. you felt super comfortable and realized that you weren’t holding back on anything anymore

that’s why you had expected your winter break to be better than your past ones

everyone agreed to skate around the ice rink in rockefeller for christmas. along with it, also spending new year’s eve at the time square

news flash: you finally had the cliche new year’s eve kiss, with none other than peter parker!!! hooray!!!

for anyone who had common sense, your feelings for peter had accentuated. you weren’t denying it either, and the boy wasn’t oblivious to it too

he was just so irresistible and kind to you, like, all the time – to surreal, honestly

you felt and KNEW you were spoiled with peter (and his friends, who liked to spend time with you outside too, just not as much as him)

just as you were planning your spring break activities, it had to be postponed for another time

a lockdown had to be implemented around the country as it was under the state of a pandemic

mj and ned told the group that they’ll be with their families since lectures had to be concluded for the mean time

you planned to do the same, but you expected that this situation wouldn’t last long. so you chose to stay in your dorm rather than return to your hometown

completely sucks since you not only don’t get to hang out with your friends, but you weren’t able to see anyone in person...

until you got a text from peter

he was literally inviting you over his apartment since he explained that he wasn’t returning home either

you practically rushed to pack a small amount of clothes for a sleepover whilst not forgetting to wear a mask (bc it’s fucking important ok)

you arrived at his address and a big warm hug ensues 

his unit was so tidy and you were convinced he did it to impress you

peter was so happy to see you, acknowledging that you’re also spending a few nights with him

the nights mostly consisted of eating snacks and binge watching movies

however during one of those nights, both of you got a bonus – making out on his couch and further, completely forgetting the television

making out with peter wasn’t awkward at all. most of the time he was the one in control, which you didn’t mind

his hands treated you so gently but the way he teased you made you crave for more than what he was offering

a lot of whining, swearing, and begging – you weren’t aware but he was enjoying it a lot

on his side, he did praise you from time to time, but most of it consisted of raw tension and actions. the room was full of grunts and short breaths 

just want to include how sexy peter would be while he moans all over you. like his whole sunshine personality just drained away the moment he places his hands on either sides of your waist

the next day you felt like a princess even though you know it shouldn’t be???

apparently peter prepared breakfast for you and you felt embarrassed walking around his place only in the shirt you wore yesterday and underwear

just when you thought the extra lunch he packs for you was already amazing, the breakfast he prepared whilst being fresh and hot was just incredible

“you really like it?”

“of course! you really have to teach me to cook sometimes”

peter laughs and jokes, “yeah, don’t worry. i feel like we’ve got a lot of time ahead.”

ok fast forward to a few more days when you were beginning to feel like a freeloader. he lets you borrow a few of his clothes as yours were in the laundry

by the time you wanted to stop by your place, peter started to be more... clingy

at first he didn’t want you to go but after a few more debates, he felt defeated and instead insisted on going with you

eventually you caved and let him. it wasn’t that bad either, he talked to you about a lot of things on the way leaving you entertained the whole walk without realizing how far it had been

he helped you ‘pack’ more stuff so you wouldn’t be going back and forth from his place and yours. you felt like you were going out of town for a month with the amount of clothes and products

both of you returned to his place around late afternoon. you felt pretty tired and didn’t hesitate to pass out on the living room couch

when you woke up you sensed that you were in peter’s bedroom, meaning he carried and tucked you during the night

plus! an arm was wrapped around your midriff and you could feel peter’s breathing against your side

you closed your eyes and appreciated the moment. it was cute and made butterflies flutter around your stomach, and you tried not to move much to not wake him up

anyways apparently the pandemic lasted longer, and more serious, than expected (fuck the government and their incompetency) 

you spent more time with peter and was thankful that you didn’t spend this quarantine alone

within a blink of an eye, a month and a half already had passed. you couldn’t deny that most, or all, days have been unproductive

eat, cook, watch tv, cuddle, fuck, repeatedly get spoiled??? yeah sounds like the dream

weird though because you haven’t completely brought up to peter if you’re actually in a relationship with him. oh no were you just friends with (a lot) of benefits??

but you also felt like it wasn’t the time to bring it up. neither of you were saying anything so it was best to let it be for the fear that things might go downhill from there

anyways this continued for more weeks, especially since the ‘stay-at-home’ policy was deemed necessary

you started to help him do errands around the apartment just to feel like you weren’t an actual freeloader – but it wasn’t a surprise when he kept insisting that you should relax

more cute moments

more sexy times

and more cuddles during night (peter’s grip became tighter every night, but you shrugged it off assuming that it was just you getting homesick and overthinking)

ok but when you brought up being homesick and mentioned that you planned peter wasn’t entirely happy about it

the way he acted wasn’t just clingy. he insisted that he’d be the one to go and that you were staying

“ok but i’m not a dog, peter?” “i know, honey, but it’s too dangerous outside. i wouldn’t want you to be at risk.” “i wear a mask?? i follow health protocols?? i’ll be fine??” “you don’t understand–”

oh god he was becoming controlling

you tried not to argue anymore, rather ignoring and pushing past him to proceed to the door

and peter instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist and prevented you from walking further

there was a lot of struggling, but you didn’t know he was this strong. literally what the hell.

you tried to scream too but he pretty much threatened you to your core

“let’s talk this out,” he grunts as he secures his grip around you

“the hell? let me go!”

things got more complicated. he did convince you to talk with him (by means of tying your arms and legs to incapacitate you from running and righting)

it was a nightmare. he was really soft and sweet with you, even getting teary eyed after stating, “i only want what’s best for you... for us”

however you could sense the manipulativeness through it despite being making everything else look convincing

“trust me, sweetie, i wouldn’t want to hurt you. it would crush me” “please don’t cry. i’m only protecting you” “people are disgusting, they don’t deserve an angel like you” “don’t worry, i can protect you”

it terrified you to your nerves, sending shivers across your spine

at first you didn’t realize it, but eventually after days of being trapped, you figured he had been grooming you the whole time

he tried to make you dependent of him and somehow he did a fine job. just not enough to completely exploit you

though, it made you question what would have been better in your situation: being conscious of his sly nature with the hope of escaping or being unaware and completely wrapped around his finger whereas letting him continue how greatly he had been caring for you?

[hinatas-sunshine]

Synopsis: Babysitting with Kuroo, Kenma, and Kageyama was not something you’d expect to be so...weird?

Genre: Fluff I think yo no se

A/N: I’m trying to fit in as much writing so I don’t seem like a dead account when my online classes start up, but I really appreciate all the love you guys continue to give me thank u KITHES 🥺❤️

Kuroo:

• Kuroo had made plans to study with you earlier last week and you agreed, your boyfriend was a really good tutor after all

• Sadly, you wouldn’t be alone due to your sister showing up with your niece asking you to babysit last minute

• And again, you agreed because you love your niece and didn’t want your sister to struggle having to find a babysitter

• So when Kuroo showed up and you had a toddler in your arms, he melted at the sight

• He greeted you with a kiss after you put your niece down and then he continued to crouch down to your nieces eye level

“Hi there kiddo!”

• Your niece hid behind your leg and peeked out to look at the giant man in front of her

“Yeah I’d hide too.”

“Y/n! :(“

• You slowly stepped aside and your niece moved with you

“Lovebug you can say hi! He’s my boyfriend! He’s nice I promise and if I’m wrong you can have some ice cream.”

• Her eyes widened at the sound of ice cream and slowly waddled up to Kuroo and waved shyly

• He gasped in excitement and waved back

“Can you tell me your name?”

• And she nodded and told him her name before he lead her to the couch and picked her up to sit with him

• Now it was your turn to melt at the sight before you went to the kitchen to grab a snack for the three of you

• You returned with two bowls of ice cream, one for you to share with your niece and one for Kuroo, only to find your boyfriend showing your niece all about Chemisty

“She’s a toddler she doesn’t know how to read yet Kuroo.”

“She likes the pictures!”

• He showed her a bunch of cool things in his chemistry text book and her eyes sparkled with curiosity ignoring the ice cream you brought out

“A-Am I being replaced?”

“Uncle Ku!”

“Yes you are!”

• You giggled slightly as he picked her up and placed her on his shoulders, talking about all her favorite princess and how much she liked the stars

• You snapped a cute picture and ate ice cream feeding her some as she continued holding onto your rooster haired boyfriend

• Soon enough her eyes started closing and her blinking became slower as she fell asleep on your boyfriends shoulders

“Is she asleep?”

“Yeah, you’re so boring you put her to sleep Kuroo.”

• He pouted before placing her on the couch and draping his red Nekoma jacket over her

“She called me uncle ku. 🥺”

“Because you’re old. 🥺”

• You two laughed and whispered trying to let your niece sleep

• Your sister came in to pick up your niece and thanked you and Kuroo as she lifted her child up who woke up lazily due to the sudden movement

“Bye auntie y/n, bye uncle ku, you’re the coolest.” She rubbed her eyes

• Your sister laughed and said her goodbyes saying she PROMISED her daughter will be back soon to which Kuroo was excited to hear

• Once your sister was out the door Kuroo exploded

“She said I’m cool!”

• You giggled, getting on your tippy toes to kiss his nose

“You are cool!”

“Now I want one-“

“No ❤️”

• He definitely made a PowerPoint to explain why you two should have a kid - slide one: to have someone to call him cool

Kenma:

• You often found yourself babysitting as an side job during summer break

• When Kenma made plans to hang out with you he didn’t expect to see you on the floor with a toddler across from you

• He walked right back out of your house 😃

“Kenma!”

• He sighed and walked back in as you held the toddlers hand and had the other on your hip

• The little boy looked at Kenma with wide eyes and walked over to him

“What’s it doing? Why is it coming over to me?”

• You laughed scooped the little boy in your arms walking over to Kenma who looked scared for his life

“Say hi!”

• The little boy reached out for Kenma who looked at you and then the kid

“He wants you to hold him.”

“I don’t want to hold that.”

“Kenma!”

• He then sighed and took the boy in his arms, you snapped a quick picture at the two, who were looking at each other

The toddler: 😃

Kenma: 😐

• You laughed before sending it to Kuroo who had a field day with it by the way

• After you put your phone in your pocket you looked up to see Kenma trying to talk to the tiny boy

“Do you like video games?”

“....”

“Do you like animal crossing?”

“....”

• Kenma handed him back over and shrugged

“I couldn’t do anything.”

• You laughed and lead your boyfriend to the living room who automatically sat down and pulled out his switch to play animal crossing

• The tiny boy gasped in your arms and reached out for Kenma again who looked up and shrugged taking the tinier boy in his lap

• The two played on the switch for a little, Kenma making commentary about the game

“Yeah I don’t like him either.”

• You looked over to see the tiny boy slapping the screen and Kenma nodding as if he was agreeing with him

• Kenma slowly warmed up to the smaller boy and let him play with his switch for a few minutes before you brought out some fruit for the baby boy to munch on

• Kenma stole some of his fruit

• The little boy began falling asleep with some strawberry in his mouth and nodding off on the table before you picked him up and wiped his hands and face clean to lay him on the couch to sleep comfortably

Kenma: Must be nice, Y/n doesn’t treat me like that

Y/n: Yeah cause Kuroo does

Kenma: Not the same

• You spent time cuddling Kenma who played animal crossing and you scrolling through social media before joining him on animal crossing too

• When the toddler woke up crying Kenma was the equivalent to the caveman spongebob meme

• He was shook he didn’t think it could do that

“What’s wrong with it?”

“HE is just waking up, it’s okay.”

• You helped the boy calm down, his little sniffles leaving his nose before making you put him down and waddling over to Kenma

• Kenma gave a small smile and picked him up setting him on his lap again and then continuing gaming until the little boys mom came to pick him up

• You two said bye before the little boy ran to Kenma and hugged his leg and running back to his mom

Y/n: Does this mean you’ll babysit with me more?

Kenma: No, but I’ll come over only if it’s that one

• The next time at practice Kuroo wouldn’t stop showing everyone the picture you sent him and now you have to beat Kuroo up Bc Kenma said he won’t babysit with you anymore because he’s embarrassed

Kageyama:

• When you got a call from your boyfriend you realized something was off

• Mainly because he screamed through the phone asking you to hurry and come over

• Worry filled your body as you ran to Kageyama’s house and reaching the door throwing it open and panting

• Kageyama sat criss cross with a baby in his hands, holding it at arms length

“Tobio-Kun I thought you were- d- holy crap I’m out of breath...”

• You took in a deep breath

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE DYING!”

“I am dead if something happens to this thing!”

• Kageyama then explained that his aunt had dropped off his baby cousin and his mom was out at the store so he was in charge

• You scooped the baby into your arms cooing and rubbing noses with her, she happily giggled and Kageyama fell back with a sigh of relief

“Thank god you came, I was ready to just leave it on the couch and let it sit there but it started crying.”

• You glared daggers at your boyfriend and sat next to him

“SHE is a calm baby, she just needs attention.”

• The baby girl babbled and held onto Kageyama’s finger to which he tried to pull back but she had a death grip on

• He started panicking again, but you gave him a kiss and reassured him he’ll be fine

“So... can it- I mean she- play volleyball?”

“Kageyama she can’t even walk yet?”

• he sighed before resting his chin in the palm of his hand

“So what do we do with her?”

“Take care of her? What else would you do with babies?”

“I don’t know I’ve never met one.”

• you spent a few hours taking care of the baby and bouncing her around to keep her entertained

• Kageyama would be lying if he said his stomach wasn’t doing flips and you looked like you could be a perfect mother one day

• You finally handed her to him and taught him how to hold her, and he did his best although he was extremely nervous

• You took a picture to send to his team mates

• Everyone was in aw except Tsukki who went on about how the King looked terrified

• You then prepared to give her, her bottle and he said he wanted to do it and you smiled handing the bottle to him for her have her milk

“So all the do is drink milk, get attention from you and sleep? I want that type of life.”

• You laughed at your boyfriend only to notice the little girl was almost done and you took her to burp her, he just watched and you two played with her a few more minutes before it was her nap time

• You were putting her to sleep when Kageyama’s mom walked in

“Oh thank god he called you, knowing him he would’ve left her on the couch and not looked back.”

• You laughed lightly at your boyfriends face that was now a deep red.

• His mom happily took the baby and continued to care for her while you and Kageyama walked to his room

• He lied down and mumbled something about how exhausting it was and you laughed crawling next to him as he wrapped his arms around you

“You’d be a good mom one day.”

• You smiled and looked at him, his cheeks a deep red and all you did was kiss him softly

• He smiled into the kiss before pulling away and cuddling his face into your neck

• You stroked his hair and kissed the side of his head

“Never call our child an it or I’ll kill you Tobio my love.”

• He laughed and lifted his head up to press another soft kiss on your lips

“Well you’ll for sure kill me multiple times because I can’t care for a kid to save my life.”

• You laughed and he picked up his phone to check it

“Why is everyone calling me Daddyama?”

Tags:

[haikyuuthots]

Can you write fluff with Hinata? I want to feel soft 😭 thank you, I love you’re work

With your initial on it. - Shoyo Hinata

Pairing: S. Hinata x Reader

Word count: 1.3K

Warnings: none

Synopsis: your boyfriend is full of endless surprises that make your heart flutter.

A/n: thank u so much for requesting, I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long, I hope it’s not too late and you find time to enjoy this! Appreciate all the love! ❤️

———————————————————————-

“I miss you.” You hear on the other end of the phone as you’re laying down on your bed, with your favorite stuffed animal wrapped under you. It’s the one Shoyo gave you on your first date, it smelled like him. As you listen to his words you can’t help but squeeze it, trying to feel his warmth without him actually being there.

“I miss you too.” You haven’t seen him in over a week, and although you talked to him every day, you still felt incomplete without him by your side.

“But 2 days from now, I’ll finally see you again.” You smile to yourself, happy at the fact you’d be seeing him soon

You can hear Hinata let out a small laugh, warming your heart.

“I don’t think I could wait another day.” He responds, his voice is calming, barely above a whisper

Your heart flutters, “awwww I feel that way too.”

“No seriously, I can’t wait.”

“So what? You’re gonna catch a flight and head over here?” You ask in a teasing tone,

But there’s no response form his end, just subtle silence. Which catches you off guard, usually he’d go along with the joke and tease you back.

“Shoyo.... you there?” You furrow you eyebrows

“I’m here.” He responds,

You let out a small laugh “you sound so serious all of a sudden, it’s kinda weird.”

Again he doesn’t respond, but before you can say anything, you hear a knock coming from your front door.

“Oh wait Sho, there’s someone at the door, I’ll be right back.”

He responds with a small “okay” before you put your phone down and start making your way to the door

“Who is it?” You briefly shout but no one responds from the other end. You weren’t expecting any visitors today, but you figured it was probably the mailman, you did frequently shop online.

You open you door, and you heart drops at the sight in front of you.

Your boyfriend was standing there, with a giant smile on his face. His hair is a little messy, and he’s in a basic white tee, and grey sweats. Although he looked a little tired, his face was beaming with happiness.

“Shoyo” you shout as you rapidly head over to embrace him. Jumping on him, you wrap your body against his and he doesn’t hesitate to grab you and reciprocate the giant hug.

With no words said, he quickly smashes his lips against yours. The kiss was rough, and passionate. He missed you very much , and you could tell he did, by the way he was kissing you now.

After a few minutes of embracing each other, you finally pull away as he sets you down on the ground, you can’t help but feel complete happiness overtake your body. Still holding you tight, you both start making your way into your apartment

“I can’t believe you’re here right now, I thought you weren’t coming until Sunday.”

He smiles down staring at you with complete love “I wanted to be with you, 2 more days was way too long.”

You laugh at his response, as you go for another hug “I’m glad you did, because I missed you.”

You let out a small gasp as you remembered something, pushing him away briefly you speak again “oh my god Shoyo the plans all ruined.”

Hinata furrows his eyebrows, “plan?”

“Yeah I planned an amazing date for when you got home.” You respond

He can’t help but smile “you did?”

“Yes I wanted to treat you, for working so hard. What time is it??? Maybe we can still do something.” You try to scramble to look for your phone but you’re stopped by Hinata, grabbing onto your arm.

Looking down at you with a smile he talks again, “don’t worry about it, being here with you is enough. Let’s just hang out here.”

You smile up at him, your cheeks hot from how flustered you felt. Hinatas smile had that effect on you, you absolutely adored it.

“Ok.” You happily agree

So that’s what you did, you ordered pizza and picked a movie to watch with your boyfriend. Spending the night cuddled in his arms, you were happy to hear how his training went, and all the new tricks and tips he learned. You always loved how passionate he was, his admiration for volleyball always impressed you, so you had no problem listening to him.

The movie you were watching was coming to an end, you were really invested, clutching the blankets form how stressed you were form the scene before you.

Hinata sat there, and instead of watching the screen he was watching you. His heart felt warm as he saw you there, he knew there was no one in the world he’d rather be with. You were amazing, your beauty was captivating and your personality was out of this world. He was in love with you, and he felt like the luckiest boy in the world because you were in love with him too.

“Y/n.”

You look over to your boyfriend “yeah?”

“I almost forgot, I got you something.”

Your lips start forming into a smile, “you got me something?”

He reached to pause the tv. “Yeah, wait I’ll bring in to you.”

You can’t help but let out a small laugh, excited to see what your boyfriend got you.

He returns with a small box, tied with a pink ribbon. Your heart was pounding, as you stare at the small box in your hands.

“Open it.” He says excitedly

You smile up at him one more time before you begin opening the small box.

Inside was a small gold necklace, with an “S” initial pendant.

You look down at it in awe, as you remove it form the box to admire it a bit more

“I don’t know if you like it, but I thought it’d look really pretty on you.” Hinata begins speaking, his hand is rubbing the back of his head, and he tries his best not to look at you, you can tell he’s completely flustered

“You don’t have to wear it if you don’t li-“

“I love it.” You cut him off, as you continue to admire the beautiful necklace.

“I’ll wear it and never take it off.” You look at him and smile

And he shoots you a big smile of his own, “you will?”

“Of course I will.”

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that.”

“Will you put it on me please?”

He grabs the necklace form your hands and gently places it around your neck. After he’s done he sits back a bit, admiring you in the piece of jewelry he bought.

“And look...” he continues pulling something out from his pocket

“I got one for me too, it’s the same but it has your initial on it, I wanted to wear it as soon as I bought it, but I wanted to make sure you’d like them first”

You can’t help but look at him in complete awe, you felt like crying, overjoyed with the amount of love you were feeling right now.

“Can you put it on me please?”

“Of course”

You take the necklace from his hands and wrap it around his neck. You two sit there, admiring you matching necklaces with each others initial on them.

“I love you Shoyo, thank you.” You quickly wrap your arms around him, holding him tightly, and he reciprocates right away squeezing you, he responds

“I love you more than you can imagine.”

Slightly pulling away, he holds your face as he admires your face for a minute before he leans down to connect his lips against yours.

You felt butterflies in your stomach as you sayt there and kissed him. You were utterly in love with this boy, you had no idea what you ever did to deserve him, but you were grateful you were with him, in the comfort of you own home, eating your favorite food, watching a good movie, with his initial around your neck and yours around his.

[fraidy-farfelle]

This is my attempt at the Fluff ABCs for Frankie the Undead. Please be gentle with criticism because I cry easily. I’ve taken some ideas from @lovestruck-lasagna.

Taglist: @writingfromthetomb @beebubb

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

Your dry sense of humor. It perfectly matches his insults and he doesn’t have to go out of his way to make you laugh. He just says what he’s thinking and you laugh and agree.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Frankie appreciates a good smile, and for many reasons. He learned to read smiles (fake vs real) early on and uses it to gauge people, so he pays particular attention by default. He’s a sucker for cute dimples, and loves the way your nose scrunches and your eyes close.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

He loves late at night when you share the couch and he can read a good book, sip on some whiskey, or puff on a cigar. He really doesn’t care what you’re doing, he can tune out the TV or you prattling on about your day and make comments to show he’s listening. Put your feet in his lap, lay on top of him, make yourselves mummies in blankets, so long as he can reach his glass he doesn’t care. He just wants to be with you.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

Stay in date nights are his favorite. He doesn’t really like to “share” your attention. He likes to either cook a meal together or order takeout and watch a movie. Particularly black and white gangster ones, or older horror films. Likes to tease you if you get scared and grab onto him. He’ll pat your head and say something like “oh there there, don’t be scared! I won’t let the big, bad monster getcha!” (Like your neighbor isn’t a 7 ft tall children murdering clown demon) If you go out, he prefers less crowded places outdoors.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

He’s a spitfire and he knows it. He tends to explode and then after a few minutes apologizes gruffly and explains himself. “WHY WERE YA OUT UNTIL MIDNIGHT, THATS SUCH A STUPID THING TO DO!” “Sorry, Frankie.” “…… ugh just, please get home earlier from now on. It’s dangerous and I worry about you.” Definitely doesn’t hug you close so you don’t see the relief and worry on his face. Nope!

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

He misses Amy desperately. He wants a little girl in his life again, although he’ll never ever admit it. He’s hesitant to make relationships because he doesn’t want to be hurt again. But, if you go out with him to the living world, you’ll catch him staring longingly at parents and daughters when he thinks you’re not looking. If you ask him what he’s looking at, he’ll shake his head and spit out a line about children being obnoxious but you can tell he’s blowing smoke.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

If the underworld wasn’t so dangerous, he’d love to drape you in the finest silks with diamonds and rubies dripping off of you. However he doesn’t want you to draw any unnecessary attention to yourself. So, he settles for things you don’t really see in public. He also doesn’t like to be found out about it. Your gas tank is filled, the bill you were worried about has mysteriously been paid, your favorite ice cream is in your freezer when you know you ate the last of it yesterday, and hey, didn’t you spend this $20? Why is it in your wallet? If you ever bring it up he’ll just shrug and say “How strange!”

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

He’s torn about PDA because he doesn’t want you to become a target because you’re associated with him, and people stare at him enough because of his appearance. But on the other hand, he wants to show the world that someone as worthless as him (don’t say that we love you Frankie) has such an amazing person that loves him. Will absolutely grab you and passionately make out with you with one hand on your ass and the other flipping the bird to the cheeky bastard that told the broad beside him to watch out for the zombie.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Panic. Sheer panic. He’s so afraid to lose you, any injury is serious and cause for alarm.

Frankie:*bursting into a hospital lobby, screaming to be taken to f/n l/n immediately**running in the opposite direction the nurse pointed in panic**bursts into exam room 30 seconds later* “Y/N!!!!! I came as soon as I got the message, WHATS WRONG!!!”

You: *sitting on the table, reading phone* “Oh, I have a sprained ankle and they don’t want me to drive so can you give me a ride?”

Frankie:*slowly blinking* “Uh, yeah no problem…”

You: “lemme guess, you heard my name and hospital in the same sentence and ignored everything else.”

Frankie:*hanging his head* “go wait in the car, I’ll go apologize….”

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Not actual jokes, but he loves to sit with you and insult people. He’s an incredibly sweet person to you, but no one else. (Except service people, like nurses and waitresses. Just the general public) he doesn’t think pranks are funny or practical, which is one of the many reasons he and LJ butt heads. If LJ or Will prank you or him, he’s raising hell.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Love kissing your lips. He’s actually really self conscious about his mouth stitches and constantly frets they feel weird to you. Neck kisses are another favorite and are extremely private to him. He also likes to hold the back of your hand against his lips and tell you what he’s thinking, no matter how mundane. Kiss his stitches. Please. Just do it.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

He has trouble saying it to your face. He’ll whisper it to you when he thinks you’re sleeping, and he’s been known to leave little notes around for you to find. He thinks protecting you is the best way to show he cares.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

The day you finally broke down and told him you loved him. He knew as soon as he looked into your eyes and saw your smile his goose was cooked. He was very abrasive and hoping against hope that you’d leave him be. He knew you deserved better. He was so afraid to build a relationship and love again, he wanted to distance himself and if he was an asshole to you, it would be justified and you’d do it on your own. What he didn’t expect is for you to be so kind to him. Upon your initial meeting, he had been a little harsh, but helped you (if there’s enough interest I’ll do a fic about it) and so when he subsequently was a jerk to you, you were curious and determined to find out what he was hiding. He finally had been mean enough to make you cry. He had never regretted something he did before. He immediately wanted to cradle you to him and beg your forgiveness. Normally when he insulted you, you’d have a snarky retort in reply. But not this time. You fell to your knees and clung to his legs and demanded to know why he treated you so poorly and proclaimed your love for him. It was probably by accident and you were so distraught you didn’t even know it flew from your mouth, but hearing it, he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t care about the consequences, he just wanted you. Hearing that you loved someone like him made him so happy, he knew he’d treasure the memory forever

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

Losing you. Period.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

What ISNT odd about this man?! A cute one is he always winks with his green eye.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

I HC that he was born in the 30’s, so he calls you “doll” a lot but only in private. He uses your name otherwise so it’s not as obvious to people watching you’re together. He will absolutely refer to you as “the dame” to others. The equivalent of “the boss” or “old lady.” “William! The Dame is trying to take a nap, so shut up or I’ll shoot you!” You call him stitches to tease him in private and are the only person allowed to do so.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?) Either taking naps or couch potato time. Also, low key likes to cook with you. He can’t cook for shit, but likes to “help” by handing you things or chopping things for you. Is a super good taste tester, self appointed.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

Stitches by Shawn Mendez (PLEASE DONT HURT ME!!)

We don’t have to Dance by Andy Black (referring to how he can’t really show you affection in public but he loves you)

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

He’s open about himself and what he’s thinking, and will always take what you say into consideration. He doesn’t like to keep things from you, but he does omit some detail about his jobs if you ask about them. He just feels like you don’t need to be stressed about it.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

LJ picked up on Frankie’s fondness of you almost instantly. He and Will decided to do what they could to get you together in the interest of making Frankie less of a grouch. If it hadn’t been for them insisting that he was good guy to you, you probably WOULD have let Frankie’s prickly nature drive you away. It took a year or so for you to break down.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?) A powder keg of insults, foul language, and bullets. Has actually never called you a name outright, and would absolutely never physically hurt you. When he was deliberately being rude to you, he’d insult your actions rather than you. “Stop acting like a dumb broad!” Vs calling you a bitch to your face. He usually calms down quickly, and is hardly ever angry at you, only when you put yourself in danger.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He likes that he’s scary and tough looking so that when you’re with him, other men scatter pretty fast. Has had many occasions where he stepped away and someone came to flirt with you and he came back and had the pleasure of scaring them.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

You are not allowed to do anything dangerous, ever! Will teach you how to use a gun and how to counter things like chokeholds, so you’re less vulnerable. Will absolutely lose his mind if he learns you’ve put yourself at risk. He will shoot someone so fast for you. Takes every person as a threat to you and will pick fights with somebody that accidentally bumped into you. Do NOT test this man.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

You are an open book to him. He’s learned to read people well, and he takes his time studying you. Can tell if you’re getting sick before you can. More than once he’s handed you a bottle of Tylenol, leaving you bewildered, and shrugged and said to take them because you’ll have a headache in a few minutes. He can pick up on your emotions easily and has learned what to do to handle them.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

Honestly, marriage isn’t that important to him. He’s not opposed to the idea at all, but like you’ve been together for this long, you love each other, is it really necessary? You’d have to tell him you want to be officially married. He’ll buy you a ring, to show that you’re taken, if nothing else, but he’ll wear his around his neck under his tie so it’s not obvious he’s attached to anyone to discourage his rivals using you to get to him.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

The smell of your perfume. Holding you in his arms and taking deep breaths makes all of his troubles go away.

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

L O V E B O U N D

“Christmasbound III”

I know many of you never thought this day would come, but I’m glad to be back with our three favorites. please be kind, as I drafted this within a day. I genuinely hope you’ll like it. merry christmas from the fam xx 

“And if you’re ever tired of being known for who you know you know, you’ll always know me. Dorothea. Uh uh” 

She keeps her eyes closed, feels the warm and soft material underneath her huge headphones that cover the entirety of her ears. Surrounded by blankets and curtains, hanging right from her opened closet, Taylor feels the same warmth she’s always felt when recording music. Under normal circumstances, this would’ve been in a professional setting. A recording studio with narrow walls and acoustic matts covering the walls. 

This little home studio in her closet certainly doesn’t compare. 

With her eyes still closed, Taylor moves her head with the beat of the music, mindlessly  reaches for the headphones. She doesn’t have to open her eyes, doesn’t have to be able to hear the slightest noise beneath the music to know exactly that someone is making their way to her. It’s instinctive, it’s natural.

With the huge headphones now in her hands, Taylor stops the recording on her laptop that is placed on the little table on her right side and then slowly turns around. She smiles. Her five, almost six year old child is standing in the room. She’s barefoot. Her long Pajama pants covering her petite legs. Blonde and curly hair in all directions, obviously in need for a cuddle with her momma as she rubs her puffy eyes and walks straight towards her mom. 

“Mornin’ honey.” Taylor just mumbles into the warm neck, a little laugh escaping her lips as she already feels Eleanor hugging her neck so tight. A tiny head is now placed on her shoulders. She sighs in her low voice, seems to be in her half asleep dreamland state. Taylor breathes her baby girl in, slowly rubs her small back up and down. This just never changes. 

“How did you sleep?” Taylor asks her quietly, slowly pulls back to squish the tired and warm cheeks and presses a big kiss onto them a few times. Eleanor just stands there, obviously still tired.

“Good.” she says, her eyes on her momma’s big microphone in the midst of the bedroom. Taylor knows that this is as weird for Eleanor as it is for her. After all she’s never recorded an album from home. Eleanor knows that her mom writes songs on the piano or on the guitar sometimes, but this whole technical set- up is yet another thing that has become Eleanor’s new reality. This global pandemic really has brought many changes into the little girls life. 

“What are you singing?” she says quietly, still looking up to the big round microphone on the stand where her mom is sitting. 

“I’m recording this song I wrote, called Dorothea.” 

Eleanor looks at Taylor with big eyes, the same big blue eyes she knows from someone else so well and nods slowly. Taylor laughs. 

“Who is Dorothea?” she asks then and Taylor grins. 

“That’s a good question. She’s a beautiful girl who’s moved away from the little old town she grew up in and became famous, and everyone knows her.” 

The blonde signer can already see in the five year old’s face that this conversation won’t go anywhere. Eleanor nods distracted, as Taylor places the headphones on the table next to her and pulls Eleanor onto her lap. 

“Breakfast?” 

Eleanor nods. Taylor slowly gets up, the big girl on her arms while making her way out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Eleanor slowly cuddles herself once more into her arms and Taylor doesn’t complain. Currently, she absorbs every second of this clingy and cuddly phase that her daughter is going through. Taylor immediately has to think of the words of her pediatrician from the other week ago. This current global crisis is a big mystery for children. Everyone wears masks. No more playing with friends. No leaving the house anymore. How scary this must be for someone who doesn’t understand the world yet? Taylor knows that Eleanor has every reason to be clingy and needy of her mom during this time. And she enjoys this phase more than she ever thought she would. Back when Eleanor was a baby, she would sometimes dream about what it would be like to have a child who can play by herself, use the bathroom by herself, eat by herself. Now that her baby girl is in her last year of pre- school, Taylor realizes that time is just a construct and that every cuddle and every hug is only temporary. But it’s appreciated. So incredibly appreciated. 

“Are you looking forward to your ladybug class today?” Taylor whispers into Eleanor’s ears and the little girl nods excitedly, just as Taylor places her on the marble counter right downstairs in the kitchen. Taylor grins, slowly opens the fridge. 

“Today we have to bring our favorite teddy bear and I want to bring Benji.” Eleanor says excitedly, as Taylor just looks at her daughter and laughs. 

“Don’t you think Miss Clarkson will know that he’s a real life cat and not a teddy bear?” Taylor says amusedly while pouring some oat milk into a little cup right on the stove. In her light blue pajamas, just like Eleanor’s, Taylor brings the milk to heat up and looks back at the curly head who’s already playing with the little miniature dolls she left on the counter last night. 

“No because daddy always says Benji is a little bear!” Eleanor says laughing, seems to be more than excited about her clever idea. And if her dad says so, then it has to be right. Taylor grins at her baby girl while preparing her hot chocolate. She knows exactly how important Joe’s words are for the little girl. Eleanor is already focused on her little dolls again, seems to have almost forgotten that Taylor is in the room with her, and sings quietly while playing around.

“Here’s your hot chocolate.” Taylor says, pronouncing the last two words in an extra British way to make her daughter laugh. Eleanor takes the big cup with the kitties on the front right from her, and pulls out her tongue laughing. Taylor just laughs as well, both her hands on her head fixing the little curls.

"Mummy, it’s hot chocolate.” the five year old replies, automatically switched to her British accent, loves to correct her mum when it comes to pronouncing words the British way. Taylor will never be less impressed by the fact that her child is able to switch accents perfectly within the matter of five seconds. A perk of having multinational parents and growing up in two countries at the same time.

“My little British baby.” Taylor grins, then steals Eleanor’s forehead a kiss. 

“Mommy, can we go to the park today with daddy?” 

Taylor doesn’t say anything for a second, fixes Eleanor’s strand of hair before letting go off her. She stands right in front of the counter where Eleanor is sitting and slurping her hot cocoa. Taylor just quietly nods and Eleanor’s eyes seem to light up just within a few seconds.

“We have to speak to daddy anyways today and see what we’re gonna do for Christmas this year.”

“Mommy can we please celebrate with daddy and grandma?” Eleanor immediately says, places the mug next to her and starts pulling on her mom’s pajama shirt. Taylor knows this version of Eleanor too well. Whenever she really wants something she becomes all clingy and impatient. Taylor just sighs. 

“Baby, we can’t celebrate all together because of covid. I explained that to you before.” Taylor says carefully, looks into Eleanor’s pouty face in the hope to find understanding. 

“I promised you that you will see daddy and grandma for Christmas, we just... haven’t worked out a concrete plan yet.”

Eleanor doesn’t seem to understand what her mom just said, but she nods. The same pout as before. This quarantine situation is hard on Eleanor. Taylor knows that too well.

“Okay.” Eleanor just mouths quietly. Taylor smiles silently. Within a few seconds, her lips are meeting the tiny forehead again. Lips pressed against the soft skin, she kisses her daughter a few times, whispering a low “I love you” in between. Eleanor replies as lightly as always and Taylor helps her jump down from the counter. She quickly encounters Olivia and Benjamin who just made their way to the kitchen to greet the little girl that just got up. Taylor smiles at Eleanor and her quirky way of speaking with the cats. Just like siblings. It makes her laugh sometimes. 

“Okay, Liv. You can play with me but you can’t steal my wedding dress again.” Eleanor says in all seriousness to Olivia as the two cats and the little girl disappear up the stairs. Taylor looks amusedly after them, slowly makes her way to the coffee machine and reaches for her phone that she left here this morning when she made herself coffee number one. With her favorite baby blue cup under the coffee machine, she presses the button and waits a few seconds. Her eyes wander onto her phone screen. Right on top of the background picture of Eleanor in the snow, Taylor reads the texts she missed from her friend Martha. Once Eleanor is with Joe, she definitely needs a class of wine and a good catch up session with her friends. 

“Did you put on your warm socks?”

“Yes.” 

“Good.” Taylor yells back upstairs at her daughter, as she crunches down to grab the cat treats that are buried in the depths of her kitchen drawer. She immediately sees a very excited Benjamin come closer. Taylor grins at him. 

“Of course you are the first one to be in line for treats huh.” she grins, immediately pets him on his head before feeding him.

Just when Taylor was about to close the drawer again, she can hear the doorbell ring. Within a matter of seconds, a very excited Eleanor storms downstairs. Taylor gets up, checks the little screen in the kitchen and feels her stomach churn. It’s always like that, every week when he stands in her front door. The black and white security camera still managing to point out his kind eyes, his voluminous hair, his effortlessness. He’s wearing his thick APC coat. The one he wore years ago when they first met. She still can’t believe he won’t get rid of it, has pointed this out to him multiple times already.

“It’s daddy!” Eleanor yells, and Taylor can already hear Joe’s quiet laugh. Of course there’s never a time when Eleanor simply leaves with Joe and not makes her face him in the doorway. Taylor just approaches Eleanor who’s standing in front of the opened door, looking back at her mum, waiting patiently for her to join her here. Sometimes, Taylor could almost think that she does this on purpose. That she makes sure Taylor has to face her dad every time he comes around to pick her up.

Within a few seconds, Taylor stands in front of him now too, her hand stroking over Eleanor’s wool beanie. The little girl is fully dressed for the winter park, her tiny green jacket matching her cream- colored beanie. Joe almost has no time to face Taylor, because Eleanor is already attacking him, jumping onto his arms to hug him tightly. He immediately picks the small girl up and spins her around a few times, groaning into her ears how much he missed her, placing a little kiss on top of he beanie on her head. Just when he slowly lets her back down to the ground is when Joe has the time to face Taylor.  For once. She just stands there in her cream colored onesie, the one she used to hang out around the house with even back when they were still together. Her feet still wear the same weird fox slippers he used to make fun of. Her hair loosely hanging from the little bun in her neck. She’s not well put together, looks exactly the way only he used to see her around the house. And Joe hates it. He hates that she faces him today, looking like this again. Looking the way she did the first time he stayed over at her place in New York years ago. Not trying at all. Making him feel things he promised himself after last Christmas, to never feel again. Store them under the bed, right in the little box of his past and to lock her up, right in there. And make sure they won’t creep up again, the way they do right now. 

“Hey.” she mumbles, a polite smile escaping her mouth. Joe takes a breath, looks at Eleanor to distract himself for a bit, before looking back up at her again. Facing her has never been easy since last year. But he’s getting better at it.

“Hey, I didn’t see you last time.” he already blurts out, has no clue why his nervous mouth has to just babble like this, without taking into consideration that it makes him look a bit weird and... nervous. Taylor seems just as uncomfortable as he is, laughs insecurely once more, then scratches the back of her head while standing in the doorway. 

“Yeah, I was on a meeting last time you picked her up so..”

Joe just nods. He shouldn’t have said what he said before. Things are already awkward enough between them. 

“Ready to leave, monkey?” He asks Eleanor, who is now sitting on the floor right next to the open door, putting her winter boots on. She nods immediately, seems to struggle a bit with her shoe laces, but is way too excited to sit still while looking at the big dog next to Joe. Taylor smiles. Eleanor loves Flint as much as the cats, always has and always will.

“Yes, daddy. Can I hold Flint again, later?” 

“Of course. He’s so happy to see you too.” Joe mumbles with a smile on his face, crouches down to pet the big old golden retriever. 

“Mummy, can you join us too?” Eleanor pouts, looking up at her mum from the floor. 

Taylor laughs nervously a third time today, just shakes her head no. She can feel Joe’s stare in her neck, knows exactly why he’s so quiet all of the sudden.

“Honey, I told you I have some more work to do.” 

“But mummy..” Eleanor pouts again, becoming as whiny as always when she wants something and Taylor just sighs. 

“It’s good to get some fresh air. Especially now with the whole quarantine thing.” Joe says lightly, and Taylor turns to look at him. She knows his look and he knows hers. 

He tried this before. 

And so did she. 

“I don’t know, I think it’s Eleanor and Daddy time, and…”

“No mummy, please. We can play with Flint together!” Eleanor tries again, now stands fully upright with her winter jacket and red boots next to her, and reaches for her mom’s hand. Taylor just sighs again, looks at Joe once more. She’s rolling her eyes and it makes Joe laugh. He just smiles, knows exactly how good their daughter is at getting what she wants, but makes sure not to look into Taylor’s eyes for too long. It feels like a welcoming distraction when Eleanor suddenly gets closer to him, lets herself fall onto his side once more, just hugging her dad’s leg before petting Flint again. 

“Look mummy, he wants you to come with us.” Eleanor persists, points at Flint who just looks up at Tay. This old dog knows as well what the little girl is trying here. 

Taylor just shakes her head and laughs. Eleanor definitely has that from her. 

“Alright, if dad doesn’t mind..”

“He doesn’t.” Joe grins, and Taylor just nods, takes a step back to signal him that they can come back inside the house for a minute, just until she’s ready. 

“Let me just put on some clothes, I’ll be back in a second.” she mumbles, already starts walking upstairs. Joe just closes the big door behind him, feels the warmth of this house and already smells the sandalwood candles coming from the kitchen. It smells like something he used to know so well. It smells like home. 

“Daddy, come look at my pre- school folder.” Eleanor runs off yelling for him. With Flint next to him, Joe just laughs at his daughter. 

“Darling, my shoes are a bit dirty from outside, I don’t..”

“Please daddy!” Eleanor calls him from the kitchen already. Joe quickly takes his shoes off with one hand, then makes his way into the kitchen. He has to swallow for a second as his eyes fall onto the picture frames placed upon the chimney. All the black and white pictures of the little baby girl. Taylor and Eleanor in the hospital bed. Benjamin and Eleanor on her first birthday. Pictures he took. Pictures that once meant the world to him. And she’s kept it all, certainly made this place a home. 

“Daddy, look, I made this yesterday.” She squirms excitedly, holds the folder right in front of Joe. She’s fully clothed and ready for the cold. Joe has to laugh at her excitement to show him what she’s made. 

“Wow, darling.” He just mumbles, is already crouching down to get a better look at her art project. A big rainbow fish, filled with glitter and confetti decorates the cover. In the middle of the front page, it says Eleanor Alwyn. Pre- School Class of 2020. He couldn’t be prouder. 

“Look, this is a picture of me and mummy in lockdown.” she explains once Joe has opened the first page. He can’t help but smile. 

“What are you two doing?” He asks. 

“We’re watching a Christmas movie, look!” she says, her tiny finger pointing to what seems to be the television. He can’t help but laugh again, slowly turns his head to press a kiss onto her small face. There are no words for how much he loves this little girl. 

“Have you and mum watched many of these this year?”

“Yes!” she just answers, and Joe laughs. Just in that moment, Taylor comes back into the room and sees the two crouching on the kitchen floor with her art folder. Flint is just sitting next to them, looking less excited about the scenery than Joe.

“I’m ready.” she just mumbles, and Joe looks up at her. He’s still smiling, seems to love what Eleanor is showing him.

“Are you showing daddy your pre- school folder?” Taylor laughs, as Joe looks up at her. He seems to catch himself becoming emotional, and slowly gets up. 

“I’m so impressed what you two have been doing in quarantine.” He says with a smirk and Taylor can’t help but laugh as well. 

“We’ve been very productive, haven’t we?” Taylor says and Eleanor nods, seems to not have understood the sarcasm between her parents. 

“Ready?” Joe asks, looks at Taylor with a questioning look. Instead of getting dressed, she just threw a massive puff jacket over her onesie, a pair of black boots replacing the fox slippers and her blonde hair right under the grey beanie. 

“Yeah, I was too lazy to get dressed so…”

“Alright, let’s go.” Joe mumbles, doesn’t comment her choice of outfit any further. Within a few seconds, they have left the house, started walking right into Camberbatch Road, and down the little lane to get closer to Hampstead Park. Whilst today was one of the coldest days so far, the sun is still up, sometimes disappearing behind the thick clouds, but steadily there. Making sure to come back and warm up this cold world at least for some time. 

Eleanor has been as chatty as always when Joe picks her up to go for a walk in the park. For the first few minutes she’s been walking hand in hand with her dad, telling him about today’s class and how excited her class mates on Zoom have been when Benjamin showed up as her teddy bear. Taylor just listens quietly to their conversation and smiles. It’s been a good idea to get some fresh air, even if things with Joe are still more than awkward.

“Has he been sitting still?” Joe asks Eleanor, who immediately starts laughing, throws her head against her dad’s arm just being silly. 

“No.” She laughs and so does Joe. He looks at Taylor and she grins as well. 

“I mean what would you expect of Benji, huh?” 

“Nothing less.” Joe answers. 

A few minutes later the the three have reached the beginning of the Heath and the five year old girl impatiently starts to reach for Flint’s leash. She is getting more and more impatient the closer they came to the big park. Joe quickly stops and then crouches down to be able to properly look at his daughter. 

“Alright bug, be careful and come back to me if another dog comes along, alright?” he asks and Eleanor excitedly nods, as Joe gives her Flint’s leash. Whilst the dog is almost her height, Eleanor confidently starts to run off onto the grass together with Flint by her side. Despite her huge puff jacket, she’s able to run as fast as humanly possible. Joe looks after them, can’t help but laugh quietly as well. 

“Her confidence is everything.” Taylor mumbles while looking after her daughter, making Joe smirk. 

“She’s done this many times, she can handle him.” 

“Oh yeah I know, I.. I didn’t mean that.” She quickly adds and Joe nods, has no clue where the sudden awkwardness is coming from. He simply stares on the ground, can’t dare to look up to her or even right into her face. All he does is look at his feet, how his big winter boots are walking right on the cold ground. There’s not many people around, but more people than usually, two days before Christmas. 

“So how are you?” Joe then asks, lifts up his head to look at what’s right in front of him, sees Eleanor and Flint playing and running on the fields at Hampstead Heath. Just like he did when he was Eleanor’s age. Right on the same grass. A nice circle that’s closing for him.

“I’m good. What about you? How has quarantine been treating you?” She asks, feels his slight laugh, even if she doesn’t look at him. 

“It’s been fine. Just really annoying that we’re going back to Tier 4 again.” he mumbles, is more than happy that coronavirus is once more a great small talk topic to avoid awkward silences. 

Taylor immediately nods, then even dares to look up at him while walking through the park. 

“Ugh I know. This year has been such a mess.” she mumbles and Joe immediately nods.

“It really has been. I’m glad you two are staying safe not traveling.” Joe then says and dares to look at Taylor for the first time today. Taylor looks back at him, then sinks her head covered in her grey beanie once more. She knows exactly how he meant his last statement, and it’s hard for her to take. To feel how much he cares. For both of them. Still.

“Of course. It’s impossible for us to fly around during this time, especially cause pre- school has been extending their classes to make sure the kids are busy until things go back to normal. So it’s been great for her to have a daily schedule to see her friends.” Taylor says, looks at Eleanor who’s no more than a hundred meters away from both of them, running wild with Flint, who seems to barely be able to keep up with her. This poor old dog. 

“Absolutely. You’re.. you’re doing a fantastic job being home with her 24/7. I... I hope you know that if it gets too much, you can just drop her off for a few days and I’ll keep her busy.” 

Taylor looks at Joe and smiles. He’s never offered this to her since they’ve been in lockdown, and it’s more appreciated than he can imagine. With her bare face, Taylor smiles at him, her breath visible in front of her face due to the cold.

“Thanks, I think I might actually have to take on that offer.” She says, a laughing breath of air escaping her. Joe looks up at her once more, a bit confused.

“It’s exhausting to keep her busy 24/7. I’ve been trying to work, but...”

“Taylor, seriously, I live two kilometers away, why didn’t you ask me...”

Taylor wants to interrupt him and explain herself, but she knows too well that there’s no reason for her not calling him. There’s no reason why she didn’t ask for his help, why she didn’t simply put Eleanor in a car and let her stay at his house for a while. There is no reason, and it’s the first time that she realizes that herself might be the only reason for the distance between them right now.

“I... I didn’t know this is something you’d want to do.” She says then, knowing damn well that she’s lying.

“Of course, just... just have her stay with me for a few days after Christmas if you want.” Taylor doesn’t interrupt him, just nods as they continue walking down the Heath. The trees look so sad, have lost their leaves months ago already. Rotten and almost forgotten, do these leaves now remain on the ground, buried under the footprints of the endless amounts of people walking down this park this winter, trying to escape the prison of quarantine. Taylor has noticed before how many people have started going on hikes, connecting with nature again to escape being home all the time. A crazy dynamic for the world they’re all living in.

“Speaking of Christmas,” she then says, kind of happy that she’s been able to change topics. 

“So as you probably know, there’s no way we can visit my parents this year or vice versa so I wanted to ask if it’s fine for you if Eleanor and me celebrate at my house on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day and a day later if you want, you can have her for a few days?” she asks, as  Joe already looks up at her with a confused look. 

“So you want to be alone with Eleanor for Christmas basically?” he asks again, and Taylor can already hear the mood changing in his voice. She really doesn’t want this to turn into an argument, she doesn’t want to disagree with Joe while having a conversation with him for the first time in months.

“I mean we’re in quarantine. The government literally told us to...”

“Tay, she’s five.” Joe suddenly interrupts her, and Taylor doesn’t know what hurts her more. The fact that he called her Tay, which is what only her closest people call her or the fact that he seems upset. She can feel that in his voice.

“She’s five years old and she’s got her dad and her uncles and her grandparents live.. a few meters away. I mean I appreciate that you want to keep her safe but we’re all getting tested tomorrow morning and I really want her to at least have a good Christmas especially in such a shitty year.”

Taylor doesn’t say anything, feels Joe becoming quieter and looking back at her.

“I just...”

“I want you to join as well.” he then suddenly blurts out, and within a matter of seconds, Taylor’s stops and looks at him in confusion. Joe turns around to her, his hands buried in his jacket. It’s freezing and he’s never been happier for the pockets in his black jacket.

“Joe, I... I appreciate you..”

“No Tay, I’m serious. I don’t want you and Eleanor be all alone on Christmas. Not her and not you. It’s... we’re....” 

She can feel him search for words and it already pains her. He hasn’t said it yet and she doesn’t want him to. She knows what’s coming. She knows it too well.

“In some ways we’re still a family and I just don’t want you to sit alone in this house on Christmas Day. With or without Eleanor and...”

“Joe.” Taylor says. Her hand on his arm, she was just about to say something as Eleanor comes running by, seems more than upset. Immediately, Joe understands the situation. Flint has run off, right up to a couple with a small dog. Joe whistles twice and Flint quickly comes running back. “Did he run off?” Joe asks her, as Eleanor just nods quietly. Within a few seconds, Taylor has crouched down onto Eleanor’s height, takes her into her arms. Joe looks confused at the two, only then realized that Eleanor fell when Flint was running off.

“Oh darling, did you hurt yourself?” he asks as Taylor already signals him that the fall wasn’t that bad. Just when she lets go off Eleanor, the little girl hugs her dad once more, crocodile tears falling down her cheeks.

“I hurt my hand” she sobs, and Joe immediately reaches for the slightly bruised and cold hand and kisses it a few times, warming her up.

“My poor little angel.” he mumbles and Eleanor hugs her dad again, placing her head on his shoulders. Taylor can’t help but swallow down a laugh. Eleanor loves to be dramatic, another thing she’s got from her mother. And this little girl also enjoys her dad’s attention more than anything in this world.

“Look, there’s Flint.” Joe then says, just when the dog came running back. Eleanor quickly lets go of Joe and looks at the dog with an upset face.

“You hurt me when you ran off, Flint.” Eleanor says as dramatic as she can be and Taylor as well as Joe try their hardest to stay serious. 

“I think he’s sorry, isn’t he..” Joe mumbles and pets the confused dog a bit. Eleanor also seems to calm down slowly and runs her hand over the dog’s head a few times.

“It’s okay, Flinty.” she then mumbles and Joe laughs, moves his head to kiss her head once more.

“Come on, let’s keep walking together.” Joe says and Eleanor keeps walking next to her dad, hand in hand. After a few minutes, she lets go off his hand once more and runs off. Taylor just looks at her mini- me and smiles. 

How quickly to forget, as a child. How easy to leave a situation and simply move on.

“Alright, alright. One hot chocolate with caramel and whip cream for miss E.” Joe repeats with a laugh on his face, taking his face mask out of his pockets while letting go off Eleanor’s little hand. 

“What can I get you?” He asks Taylor. It’s slowly getting dark outside and they’ve made it back, are now standing in front of the little Starbucks located in the heart of Hampstead Village. Just three shops are open at the moment, offering hot beverages and meals for take away. He can see in Taylor’s make up free face how cold she is. Her cheeks are red and her hands are buried in her own puff jacket pockets. She certainly needs a drink to warm up as much as he does. 

“Mhm maybe…”

“Skinny Caramel Latte?” 

Taylor looks at him, can’t help but smile. She can’t believe he still knows her so well. 

“Sounds good.” 

Joe laughs, winks at her and disappears inside. Taylor looks after him, waiting outside. It’s hard for her to believe sometimes how he hasn’t changed at all. He still knows every little detail of her by heart, and so does she. But maybe, just maybe, he has changed? Maybe he has been able to change for all the reasons she wanted him to, exactly a year ago. A year ago, when she had a piece of what she once knew. A piece of Joe, something she had to leave behind once more. For her, but even more for Eleanor. 

Taylor slowly crouches down to Eleanor, who stands next to Flint and carefully pets his head. 

“Are you cold?” Taylor asks her quietly, but Eleanor shakes her head. She’s exhausted and tired from all the running around and fresh air she’s had today. Taylor can sense that. After the sugar crash from her hot chocolate, Eleanor will certainly sleep well tonight. A gift for her mother also. 

“That was such a fun day with dad, huh?” Taylor asks with an uplifted voice, and Eleanor nods as well. Something is upsetting her. Taylor can sense this immediately.

Wrapped up in her big jacket and beanie covering her ears, Eleanor just stands there. She’s become so quiet since the last few minutes, just strokes Flint’s head up and down. 

“What’s up, baby?” Taylor says quietly, enjoys being so close to her that nobody can hear her but Eleanor. 

Taylor doesn’t get an answer, just witnesses how the corners of Eleanor’s mouth are slowly drooping. In slight shock, Taylor just takes Eleanor into her arms. The little girl starts crying for a second time today, but this time it’s not because she’s hurt her hand. 

“Baby, what’s.. what’s going on? Why are you sad?” Taylor just asks, a bit worried, her hand immediately in her beanie, comforting the cold little girl in her arms. Eleanor slowly lets go off Taylor’s chest and just stares at her mommy. She immediately wipes away the little tears from Eleanor’s cheeks with her thumbs. 

“I don’t want daddy to go home.” 

Taylor feels a punch in her stomach. She knew it. She could’ve known that this would happen. 

“Honey, daddy is first of all getting you a hot chocolate and then..”

“And then he will go home but I don’t want him to go home.” she gets whiny again, and Taylor doesn’t answer, just kisses the cheeky little face a few times. When Taylor and Joe spent time together over Christmas last year, Eleanor had a similar breakdown. And Taylor knows why. It brings back old memories of mommy and daddy together with her. It brings back memories of dad leaving. Memories of her moving into a different house. A house where daddy isn’t living at anymore. 

“I promise you, we will see daddy in a few days. Okay?” 

Eleanor doesn’t answer, and Taylor feels her heart breaking once more. 

This was never what she wanted. This was never what she wanted that day, when Eleanor was laying on her bare chest, opening her eyes for the first time. This was never part of all the promises she gave to the little girl in her arms. 

Just when Taylor was about to comfort her once more, Joe comes out of the shop again, a little brown craft tray with three cups in his hands. As he takes off his mask, he can see Eleanor’s face and the wet little cheeks coming out of the beanie and warm jacket she’s wearing. He can see Taylor’s look. He can feel it up his spine.

“Hey, love. Your hot chocolate.” He just gently says, crouches down to Eleanor just like Taylor did. Eleanor is not crying anymore, but she seems sad. Joe feels that.

“Is everything alright?” He asks, and Eleanor just falls into another hug with him. Joe almost drops the little paper tray, as Taylor takes it from him within a few seconds, holding Flint’s leash in her other hand as well. Joe just hugs his little daughter back, is obviously confused. 

“Sweetheart..”

“Daddy, can you stay with us tonight..”

“Eleanor!” Taylor interrupts her, as Joe just signals Taylor he’s handling this. 

“Darling, why do you want that?” He whispers into her ear. Eleanor just looks up at him, still whining. 

“Because you always go home after we played with Flint.” She says, Joe knows exactly what she means. 

“That’s cause it’s almost dark, my love.” He says, holding her head in his hands. He slowly kisses her forehead once, and then her lips. 

“How about we go home and have our hot chocolate, and then if it’s fine with mummy we can play in your room a bit longer, huh?” Joe says to comfort Eleanor, already got a comforting nod from Taylor. She just stands there, feels shattered for the hundredth time since they’ve been doing this. It’s certainly not the first time that Eleanor is reacting like this after they’ve spent time together. Taylor knows that she misses him. That Eleanor remembers what it was like when dad didn’t have to “go home” and her sleeping place was right between both of them. It’s rare but these are the moments in which Taylor feels like she failed. Feels like she’s been telling herself and Eleanor a big fat lie. The lie that being separated from Joe, would be the right thing. The lie that Joe is the one who brings uncertainty into her life. A lie that’s been reality for her for so many months on end. 

She can’t and won’t forget that.

Joe slowly gets up, kisses Eleanor’s cold little mouth one more time. 

“Daddy might live somewhere else, but I’m never gone. You can always visit me, and I will always visit you.” 

Eleanor immediately reaches for her hot chocolate that Taylor is giving to her and nods. She seems to be happy with his answer - for now. She nips on the cup one time, her eyes still puffy from her tears. 

“Good?” Joe asks and she nods. 

“Good.” She answers and he laughs quietly. She already has a chocolate mustache in her face. 

Joe can’t dare to look at Taylor’s face again, just takes his coffee from the tray in her hands as they slowly start walking home. For the rest of the walk, Taylor is quiet. A bit too quiet for his taste. He knows how she feels, can feel it through her wool beanie and puff jacket. She feels guilty. She feels guilty for something she shouldn’t feel guilty about. 

Just when the three arrive at the front door of the big house, Taylor takes out the key from her pockets and opens up. Eleanor is busy telling Joe about her friend Rosie’s doll house that she misses playing with and how she wishes that Santa Claus would get her the same. 

Taylor still says nothing. Joe slowly gets in, looks at Taylor who just closes the door. 

“Do you want me to put Flint into…”

“Oh yeah, let me get him some water and we can have him wait downstairs. I think the cats would..”

“Yeah sounds great.” Joe says, and thankfully passes Flint on the leash to Taylor. After all, the cats have never got along well with him and they shouldn’t be risking the animals getting into a fight tonight. 

Joe just watches her immediately walk off with him, takes off his shoes himself.

The steps on the staircase creak louder than he intended, slowly makes his way downstairs. Joe is only wearing black socks, his jeans and long sleeve casually covering his upper body. He slowly glances into the living room, can see the big flat screen tv running, but Taylor is nowhere to be seen. Candles on the coffee tableare lit, the little lamp at the end of the big living room turned on, lighting up the room in the most cozy way. He smiles. Taylor always knew how to make a place a home. As he takes a few more steps into the living room, Joe suddenly realizes that Taylor is passed out on the couch, her back facing him from where he stands. He slowly walks up to the tv, doesn’t want to startle her. He remains silent. Taylor is hugging one of the big orchid colored pillows, sleeps silently. The fresh air today seems to have not just helped Eleanor pass out faster than usual - it has made her tired as well. Joe doesn’t move, just looks at her sleeping. This has always been his weakness. Her most angelic state, asleep, right next to him. Joe slowly moves, places his hand on her arm, trying to wake her up gently. 

“Hey, Tay..”

After a second, Tay wakes up and is startled. She quickly sits up, looks at him confusedly and Joe grins. He knows that look too well. She’s always needed a second to come back to life after being asleep. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to…”

“Oh, no no.” she quickly says, scratches her head on the side she’s been laying on. This side of her face has imprinted the pattern of the pillow. Joe smirks, but doesn’t say anything. 

“I’m.. I’m sorry, I just passed out.” 

Joe nods softly. 

“No problem, I just wanted to let you know that Eleanor’s asleep as well. We were playing with her dolls and it took her half an hour to pass out on the carpet. So I just tucked her to bed. Hope that’s alright…” 

“Yeah, perfect. Thank you so much.” she says. 

“Alright, I’m going to get going then.” Joe says. Taylor was about to get up to accompany him to the door as she realizes that they haven’t finished speaking about Christmas. 

“Oh, uhm Joe, can we.. can we quickly speak about Christmas before you leave?” She asks. Joe immediately nods, casually comes around to where she’s sitting and lets himself fall onto the place next to her, right on the big and comfy couch. 

“I almost forgot, you’re right.” 

“I just…” Tay turns down the volume of the tv and looks at him. “Joe, I just wanted to say that… that first of all…”

He can see that she’s thought this through, watches her play with her hands in nervousness while speaking. He knows her too well for her to hide anything. He knows every gesture, every look, every single detail of her body language. She is nervous. She is looking for the right way to say whatever she needs to say. 

“First of all, I appreciate your kindness. So much. In.. in you thinking of me and wanting to invite me for Christmas, but..”

“But?”

“But I really thought about this earlier, and I came to the decision that I want you and Eleanor to celebrate together with your family like you did last year. I really am fine being home with the cats. I’m going to FaceTime my family, watch a movie and go to bed. I think this year the circumstances are even weirder than last year, so I would really prefer to lay low and…”

“May I.. may I say something?” 

Taylor looks at him a bit confused, is not used to him interrupting her in this way. 

“Uhm, sure.” 

“I spoke to my family about this a lot. About how weird things have been between my parents and you. I mean.. you haven’t seen them since Christmas last year and we both know how weird the circumstances were.” He says, referring to the last Christmas. The last time they’ve seen each other. Back when she and Joe were repeating old patterns, making old mistakes. Back then, when she begged him so much to change. Begged him to undo the past years. 

Taylor looks at him in shock, thinking about the fact that his family has been speaking about her. She has no idea where this is going, but she surely knows that her hands are getting sweatier the second they speak.

“And… Tay, I…” he stops again, looks at the insides of his hands. She’s barely experienced Joe like this. The only time he’s searched for words was when he asked her to marry him, years ago, years before Eleanor was in the picture and she turned him down. Bits and pieces of their history coming up in her while he sits there, as handsome as always, speaking to her. 

“I know a lot happened between us, but.. this year, more than ever, I realized that you and me we will always be family. You.. you’re Eleanor’s mum. You’re my daughter’s mother. And I want us to achieve what we didn’t manage to achieve last year. Being friends. Being family. I just.. I wish we could be fine again.”

Taylor feels goosebumps coming up, immediately nods. She relates to what he says. They will forever be connected. They will forever have to see each other. And things certainly would be easier, if they were cool with each other and she wouldn’t have to go into hiding whenever he comes to pick up his daughter. 

“I know, Joe. Me too, really.” 

“And actually, it was my mum’s idea. She.. she asked me to speak to you. And to ask if you want to come over on Christmas Eve. As I said, we will all get tested tomorrow so we can make sure everyone’s safe. I think it would mean a lot to my family to reconnect and.. especially to me.”

Taylor looks at him, and for the first time in a while, she honestly smiles. There’s no hesitation, no hiding, no underlying thought - she wanted exactly that. Even last year, she wanted nothing more than for them to be fine again, especially with his family. Eleanor’s family. And therefore, her family. 

“I want to reconnect too.” She then adds, sees in Joe’s face how relieved he seems to be. He smirks the same smirk she knows too well, his blue eyes shining, shyly looks down to hide the fact that he’s indeed smiling widely. She feels a bit drunk, looking at his smile, at his shy way of sitting there again. The way he always did.

“And I.. I’m sorry, Joe.” her mouth suddenly moves. He looks up at her. “I’m sorry for.. for sleeping with you and then disappearing.” she says, can see in his face that he didn’t expect her to go there. And neither did Taylor. She nervously changes her seating position on the couch, moves her leg up under her bum, pulls the sleeves of her onesie over her knuckles, while looking into his face. 

“It was wrong, I played with fire.. I think we both played with fire. But it wasn’t right of me to just disappear. I know I kept saying, I want you to change, I want you to be more grown up, more responsible, but… right now, it seems like you’re more responsible and more grown up than me.” she says softly, shrugs with her shoulders and looks into his face with every ounce of honesty. Joe doesn’t move, he nods. He’s thankful. He’s never been more thankful for anything she’s ever said to him. 

“I have changed this last year, yeah.” he then adds. She looks at him, the flicker of the tv in the darkness reflecting onto his face. It’s only 8pm, yet it’s fully dark outside. A classy, depressing English winter evening. But Taylor doesn’t feel depressed anymore. Taylor sits here, and feels how warm and tingly everything in her is getting. The kind of warmth you would expect when something finally happens that you’ve been praying for a long time. She knew he had changed. She knew it every Wednesday, and every Sunday when he stood in the door, picking up Eleanor to spend time with him. She knew every time the phone rang, and Eleanor would excitedly tell him about her day for at least half an hour. Every time Eleanor would come home, happily fall into her arms, telling her about her adventures with her dad. 

“I know you have.” she quietly says, a smile on her face. Joe looks up again, the mood as warm and familiar as ever. He doesn’t say anything, simply reaches for her hand. And Taylor remains quiet too, just lets him hold hers. It’s been a year. It’s been ages. It’s been a lifetime of Taylor and Joe, yet it feels like only a second since he last did this. Simply hold her hand. Just sit there, being there. 

Actually being there. 

“I should.. I should get going.” he then says, lets go off her. She just nods, gets up together with him. She can feel that he’s been overwhelmed. And so was she. Joe slowly walks into the hallway, and Taylor tuns on the little light, right on the side board. 

“So, you.. you can get tested too if you want. Dinner’s at 6 o’clock. My mum told me to ask if you want to stay over…”

Taylor leans in the door frame, watches him put his winter boots back on. She smiles. Nothing compares to the warmth she feels at the thought of Elizabeth wanting her there. Her second mother. That’s how close they used to be years ago. 

“That’s incredibly sweet but, I think I will just go home after dinner. Eleanor can sleep with you. I can come back in the morning for presents.” 

Joe nods, accepts her decision fully. 

“Should I.. should I bring something for dinner? I can make dessert, or..”

“No, just bring some Eleanor.” Joe jokes, Taylor laugh quietly. He can see in her eyes, what a massive relief there is. She seems so light, lighter than he’s witnessed her in years. Nothing ever made her more beautiful to him, than her most honest smile. 

“Okay, will do that.” 

Joe gets up, opens the big door himself. 

“Alright then.” She says. Joe smiles one more time. He laughs. And so does Taylor. Things certainly are a bit awkward still. 

“Come here.” he then casually mumbles and pulls her into a tight hug. Taylor doesn’t say anything, lets him hug her tight. She closes her eyes, both her hands hugging him back. She doesn’t want this hug to end. It feels better than last year. It feels more real. honest. raw. They’ve come quite a long way. 

“Thank you so much.” she mumbles once more, and Joe ends the hug, smiling at her once more. 

“You too.” He whispers, then slowly lets go off her and leaves the house. Taylor just stands in the doorway and watches him walk off. She waves one last time, only until he’s left the road her house is on and then closes the door. 

She looks into the big mirror one last time, fixes her messed up bangs and makes sure her long sleeve cotton dress covers everything it needs to cover. The past two days have been interesting. She’s been telling her friends about this afternoon with Joe. About their holding hands, their hug, his invitation for her to join their family Christmas again. Taylor couldn’t be more thankful yet she knows that she needs to take it slow. That if they’re really onto something real and good, then this time, they need to take it extra slow. 

Taylor turns around again, then perfects her red lipstick. Even though she wants ‘extra slow’, she can still look fabulous tonight.

“Honey? We need to leave.” Taylor yells upstairs, hears Eleanor answering her from the bathroom. Taylor quickly puts on her black coat, grabs her tiny handbag and walks upstairs. Just when she enters her daughter’s room is when she has to laugh. There’s tiny bits of paper everywhere, it seems that Eleanor’s self made presents have certainly taken up a lot of paper and created quite a mess in this room. But Taylor can’t be strict today. She knows how excited Eleanor is for today. And so is she.

“Ready?” Taylor asks, looks at her baby girl collecting her favorite toys for her tiny backpack that she wants to bring for her sleepover at grandma’s house.

“Yes, mommy. Look, all my presents are in here.” she says, shows her mum the little paper bag she has designed herself with all the kitten stickers on top of it. Taylor laughs, bends down to kiss Eleanor’s hair. 

“Come on, put your shoes and jacket on. Brandon is outside waiting for us.” she says and Eleanor storms downstairs. A few minutes later, Taylor fixes the mask on her face before getting into the big black car where Brandon is sitting. Right next to Eleanor, Taylor feels her stomach churning. She feels as nervous as back then when she would meet his family for the first time. In a way, it feels exactly like that. It’s meeting them again since a very long time. A very long time with absolutely no contact. Filled with fears and guilt and anger.

But not tonight.

After less than fifteen minutes, the big black car stops right in front of the little brick stone house right at Budwick’s Lane. Eleanor gets out of the car, her little backpack on, as happy as ever. Taylor closes the car’s door, carries the pink bag with Eleanor’s toiletries and clothes, waving Brandon goodbye. 

While Eleanor is already running up to the doors entry, Taylor feels how nauseous she suddenly gets. Standing there for a minute, she just takes a good look at the old brick stone a house, covered in ivy. The light shining out from the little hatch, right above the guest bathroom window. This house was once her first home away from home, in this country. So many memories that she feels all at once. Good and bad ones. Taylor suddenly wonders, if this was really Elizabeth’s idea? After all, she will never be able to forget Elizabeth’s angry stare a year ago at Eleanor’s theatre performance at pre- school. 

Without Taylor being able to take a last deep breath, the old door opens and Richard stands there, Eleanor immediately jumping onto his arms. He hasn’t changed. He’s still Joe’s dad.

“Grandpa!” Eleanor yells, seems just as happy as Richard to see her. 

“My little monkey.” he smiles, kisses the five year old on her head. Taylor just stands there, swallowing once. 

“Merry Christmas.” she just says, slowly follows her daughter who’s been running off into the living room already. Richard just stands there and smiles, then does something she never expected. Within a few seconds, he just signals her to come in and pulls her into a warm hug. Just like he did back then. 

“Merry Christmas, Taylor.” he says, then slowly let’s go. “You look fantastic, have you been well this year?” Taylor is certainly a bit overwhelmed by the hug, nods immediately as Richard helps her take off her jacket. 

“I’m great! How are you?” she asks, just looks around and feels the greatest sensation of ‘home’ she could ever imagine. The old fireplace in the living room is lit, she can see that from the hallway. Laughter and Joe’s voice is coming from kitchen. The smell of Elizabeth’s Christmas pie. Nothing has changed. 

“Oh thanks, we’re good as always. Come in, I think Elizabeth..” Taylor walks in, when just in that moment, Elizabeth stands right in front of her. This is the moment she’s been dreading the most. 

“Merry Christmas!” Taylor just stutters, feels an immense amount of relief when Elizabeth smiles warmly. The sixty year old woman hasn’t changed the slightest. Her brown hair hanging down her shoulders. She quickly places the kitchen towel on the counter and walks towards Taylor.

“We’re very happy you two are joining us.” Elizabeth says, then hugs Taylor as well. But this time, the hug is slower. More honest. Taylor closes her eyes, feels how emotional she’s getting. This place, these arms, used to be family. No matter what is and no matter what has been, she couldn’t be more thankful for this peace offer from her side. As Taylor slowly let’s go, Elizabeth smiles at her warmly.

“I missed you.” she says quietly. Taylor nods immediately. 

“I missed you too.”

Just when Taylor was about to say something else, Eleanor starts to pull on Taylor’s dress.

“Mummy, mummy look! Santa Claus already left me one present under the tree for tonight.” she yells excitedly. Taylor as well as everyone else in near proximity laughs quietly at the young girl’s excitement. Just when Taylor was about to crouch down to tell Eleanor how happy she is for her, is the moment when Joe suddenly stops in front of her, pulls Taylor into another hug. 

But this one is making her knees go weaker than the ones before.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” he whispers, and Taylor closes her eyes. If only he knew how happy she is to be here. 

After a few seconds, Joe slowly lets go and looks at her smiley face. Her cheeks are red and she seems flushed. He knew it would mean the world to her to finally leave behind the conflict she had with his family. 

“I’m glad to be here too.” she smiles at him, as Joe slowly takes her hand and walks into the living room with her. Right next to the big Christmas tree that is lit up with dozens of little lights, Taylor can see Patrick and Tom stand there with Nicole and two other people. A bit confused, Taylor just lets him take her by the hand. 

“I’m so happy that you get to finally meet Naomi.” he then says, comes to a full stop with Taylor right in front of the brunette woman. With long brown hair and the most stunning smile, Naomi gives Taylor the hand and smiles warmly. 

“Taylor, so nice to finally meet you.” she says and Taylor feels like someone just ripped out her stomach and put it back in again. With shaky hands, Taylor forces herself to smile back at the woman, looks more than confused at Joe. He seems so nervous, carefully places his hand on Naomi’s back, his gentle eyes looking at the brunette girl, ensuring she’s doing fine. Taylor feels like fainting, uses all the power within her to remain standing. Right here, in this living room, where she was once the one meeting family. Right here, where she was once the one being looked after by his kind eyes. The living room in which their daughter celebrated almost every Christmas so far. 

“Nice to meet you too.” Taylor then brings out, is more than proud of herself for having been able to say these few words.

Shocked but more than angry at herself, Taylor looks at Naomi and back at Joe. How stupid she was, to think that his peace offer was for more than them reconnecting. He wanted to them to be civil. He wanted to finally close the chapter Taylor. 

How stupid she was.

Taylor immediately looks at Eleanor, who pulls once more on her dress. Taylor never thought she could be so happy to be interrupted by her daughter, but she is. She is thankful for every second, in which she doesn’t have to face Naomi or Joe or worse - them both together.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I was so nervous to meet you, so... wow I’m really embarrassing right now.” Naomi says to Taylor, who’s now looking up at her again. Taylor swallows, fakes her nicest smile. And she’s doing quite well so far. She’s doing well, up until she sees Joe’s soft laugh, and his hand that is right on her back again, stroking her up and down. 

“Tay, hey.” a young man suddenly says, and Taylor turns around. She sees Patrick standing in front of her, who hugs her immediately. He’s taller than she remembered and it’s still hard for her to comprehend that he’s no longer the shy fourteen year old she once knew, but instead a twenty- two year old university graduate. For the first time tonight, she honestly feels happy to shake someone else’s hand. Someone she hasn’t met before.

“This is Jess, my girlfriend.” 

Taylor smiles at the blonde girl and then at Patrick.

“So nice to meet you!” she quickly says, then looks at Patrick again.

“Joe said you two moved in together?” Taylor asks, and Patrick nods. Taylor smiles warmly. She’s more than happy for Patrick. 

“I’m glad you’re here, Tay.” Patrick says, and as always, she can still feel the truth in his words. Ever since back then, when she and Joe picked him up from his field trip, and that one evening in her rental house when she and Patrick had pizza and spoke about his heart break - ever since then, Patrick and her had a great bond. It’s not just Joe, who she lost. She also lost Patrick, his parents, this home. 

A life. 

Taylor can feel Joe’s glance. She can feel how he constantly looks back at her, reassuring himself she’s doing fine after meeting Naomi. And Taylor immediately feels her acting skills come up. She wants him to think she’s fine. She wants him to think that she’s untouchable, healthy, happy. That she’s moved on like him. That she didn’t spend the last hours recalling every moment of Monday afternoon.  

Not at all.  

To Be Continued.

[wizardcommune]

aaaaaa i also love urbosa (i’m the previous anon that asked for her ehe) i am just a Little Lesbian who is starved for content... is it too much to ask for sfw alphabet with her? i really don’t think you write her out of character like you worry in the tags :>

urbosa sfw alphabet

a/n - THANK YOU!!! that means so much to hear fndbsngm 

also, i’m so sorry about the wait on this one!! my school’s trimester is ending early so i’ve been trying to raise my grades at mach twenty. i do have a break now though, so i’ll be able to write more frequently!!

pairing - urbosa x reader

warnings - none!!

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

urbosa prefers giving verbal affection, and receiving physical affection! she compliments you as often as possible

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

as a best friend, she teases you a lot. she's like a big sister

but like. y’know. not in a weird way,,

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

she does! she’s not an extremely touchy person, but it would be comforting to hold you

her favorite positions are to lay on her back and put your head on her chest or shoulder, or spooning. no matter your height, She Will Always Be The Big Spoon

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

urbosa would still want to lead gerudo town as chieftain, but she’d settle down more in terms of fighting. she wouldn’t want to risk herself as much considering you were there

honestly i feel like urbosa is just That Person who fucking sucks at cooking. she knows it too; she’ll just kind of stare blankly at you in pain if you suggest she cook

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

she would be fine with the idea of commitment! she would want to wait at least a few years before considering marriage. it’s a weighty decision and she doesn’t want to make the wrong choice since it could harm both of you

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

she’s very gentle with you! definitely not as much as someone like mipha, but she’s very careful not to accidentally hurt you

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

urbosa doesn’t hug you often, but she shows physical affection in other ways. i.e. gently pulling you to lean on her when sitting down, keeping a hand on the small of your back, running her hands through your hair (if she can), etc.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

probably a couple months at least? (i've never been in a relationship so is that normal????) 

she’ll say it on a calmer night, when the yiga clan is silent for once and king rhoam hasn’t called for her help. on rare days like these, she’s accustomed to drawing a bath that smells good as hell, so you’ll be really comfy and probably sleepy LMAO

will tell you right before you fall asleep when she’s thinks you aren’t awake!!! once she realizes you are, will 100% give u a forehead kiss 

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

urbosa doesn’t get jealous very often, mainly pissed if someone won’t stop harassing you. she’ll wrap an arm around your waist, and if they aren’t already intimidated (they’d have to be drunk or just have The Audacity) she won’t hesitate to roast tf out of them. if you thought her teasing you was bad, it’s terrifying now. she won’t hold back

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

she honestly doesn’t have a preference on where to be kissed! she likes kissing you on the shoulder, forehead, and hand the most. :))

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

she’s actually really good with kids! even before she became chieftain, she liked hanging out + playing pretend with them

something really cool about urbosa that the kids like is that she treats them with high respect and talks to them like adults!!! (but very sensitive adults at that; she doesn’t tease them much. kids deserve kindness and you bet she’s gonna fulfill that)

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

she prefers long hours of sleep + waking up late. so if it’s a chill day when you’re not needed for anything, she’ll stay with you in bed for hours

if she wasn’t able to sleep as much, she’ll be lowkey grumpy in the mornings until she gets her tea

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

like the mornings, she drinks tea a lot before bed. she gives me jasmine or chamomile tea energy???? idk

long baths are a must, especially since it’s so sandy,,, everywhere,,,,

she’s the type to have a ton of candles and nice soaps and stuff, so she always smells really good before bed

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

pretty early in the relationship! she trusts you enough to talk about things that are bothering her/have in the past. 

although, i’m not sure if she’d talk about zelda’s mother and stuff like that due to privacy reasons. unless zelda herself didn’t express concern over it, she’d keep the details pretty tight

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

unless you’re a yiga member, urbosa’s patience is very thick. i literally cannot think of a time she would get fully mad at you?? 

if you ever put yourself in danger, (especially for her) she would definitely scold you. never angry, though

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

urbosa remembers things even you don’t remember. mainly things you point out at a marketplace or something. 

(on that note, she is absolutely the type to spoil you. you can mention a pretty flower in rito village in passing and she’ll be convincing revali to go get it for you within an hour)

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

IM SORRY I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING FOR THIS ONE EITHER

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

very protective!! even if you can fight/are a champion, she’ll subconsciously be protecting you in battle. 

she doesn’t want you to worry about protecting her, honestly. (tbh she lowkey likes when you lean on her for safety)

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

she puts a lot of effort into them!! she actually finds it really fun to get to plan dates and stuff. she loves giving gifts and they are always very well thought out!!

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

bold of you to assume urbosa isn’t perfect

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

she does care about her looks, but only because it makes her feel good!! as long as she looks professional and clean, urbosa could care less about what other people think.

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

urbosa is comfortable enough with herself to be okay without a partner, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt. if you ever were to get hurt/leave her, she would be crushed, but she would be able to heal.

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

she hates the cold with a burning passion and anytime she has to go to the tundra, she’s grumpy the whole time

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

i couldn’t think of a partner one, but she’s scared of dogs for some reason. she is a cat person and they lowkey freak her out

z = zzz (what are some sleep habits of theirs?)

even though she has guards, being the chieftain means either of you could be put in danger at any time. because of this, she’s a fairly light sleeper. she’s also pretty protective in her sleep! she’ll pull you close to her and keep a hand on the back of your neck or stomach

[jungwnn]

Hiiiii😚 i wanna request for a ship with txt, enhypen and bts, thank you soo much for taking the time to do this!☺ I hope you have a good day, stay healthy and take care for yourself🤗

INFP-T | enneagram type 4 | sun: Sagittarius, moon: Cancer | Hate studying anything except English | Competitive when it comes to things I love and am passionate about | Like creative writing and interior designing(basically architecture) | Novels over movies | Even if i watch movies its either action or angst-drama, and always like the evil characters more than the good ones because I'm able to sort of understand why they do what they do, I believe everything has a reason, and every action is a result of something | I also believe in soulmates, love at first sight and all sorts of tropes like these | Obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology and ancient Egypt and just in general medieval eras | Love taking polaroid pictures and traveling | Aesthetic all the way, love being in the nature | I love fairylights and abstract paintings and night walks and stargazing | Love sad things | I'm sensitive to smell and don't like artificial scents | I like going to libraries and museums and cathedrals and old medieval buildings, beaches also and other nature aesthetic places | Always observing little details about everything that other people fail to notice | Easily scared or startled | Have huge trust issues and very sensitive | Have very few friends and am loyal before anything | I'm moved by little things and don't really like much of fancy dates, I like it simple and my favorite would be walk along the beach at night | Am very open-minded and wise but no one's really aware of that | Like disturbing people and then giving puppy eyes | Shy at first but when you get close with me I'm very loud, talkative, playful and annoyingly funny and weird | Just realized it yesterday that i tend to 'huh' a Lot | Clingy with people I am very close to(might even jump and koala hug them tbh) | Everyone's comfort pillar | Very expressive with words and actions | CLUMSY(I hit or bump into something at least once a day) | Love eating (taking advantage of my never getting fat genes lol) but am sort of quite picky | 5'2 - 157cm and I like tall people but I have no problem connecting with people on the shorter side of the height spectrum | Baby voice and baby face | side bangs and dark brown short almost straight hair which reaches just 4cms above the shoulders | Big chocolate brown eyes | Have slightly honey tanned skin | I'm a crybaby too, like if someone I love or care a lot about is getting scolded for whatever reason or they are sad or something then I tend to cry immediately. And while watching or reading sad things too | I do random sounds or actions too and I noticed recently I go 'huh' and 'uh' all the time | sometimes I don't even understand myself like a few days back I was wearing a black sock on my left foot and a white one on my right and then i forgot that i wore mismatched socks so when I noticed it after a while I got fascinated for literally no reason then within seconds i forgot about it again and then when it came to my notice again i got fascinated again and this went on the whole day lmao | My fashion style leans towards boho chic/bohemian and casual | And prefer bare face over makeup and converse over other footwear and dusk(sunset) over dawn(sunrise) but in the album I like dawn ver more🤭 | I love spicy and sour food and have a high tolerance of spice | And my love languages are acts of service>physical touch>quality time>words of affirmation.

YOU SOUND SO INTERESTING AND COOL LETS BE FRIENDS 🙄✋

in txt i ship you with!! Beomgyu !!

pls I can already already see yall fighting over movie chararters😭 I just get the vibe y’all met in a really weird way like he was reaching over to grab a random ass toy and you were too and bam!!! Talking, numbers exchanged. He instantly fell in love with you dude. Like gyu isn’t one to simp but your the exception here. Like dude had a big smile when you responded to his text message. Will he ever tell you that he would bounce up like a puppy whenever he got even a notification hoping it was you?? No. Never. That never happened I swear. There was a time where kai texted and was like “hey soobin said practice in an hour” and gyu straight out texted back “idiot shush I’m waiting” and Kai was just like ??? “...ur weird” basically gyu is literally in love with you from the beginning like it’s insane. That doesn’t stop him from teasing you though. Dude you better stay on high alert this dude is constantly pranking you. They are all harmless but if he ever did hurt you or do something wrong. He will instantly hug you and literally apologize all day and shower you in love. Just finding comfort in each other!! Like he is always there to listen to you talk about anything and just comfort you, He also trust you enough to share his issues! He loves to call you idiot all the time but he says it in the sweetest way or just to tease. He also loves to carry you, it makes him feel super tall ( esp when moas be calling him tiny 😭) also sleepy gyu!! Clingy!!! Let’s say y’all went on a date just a quick ice cream and a walk around the park right, He would look at you and be like “your so pretty~” then you look up and be like “huh? What did you say?” And he would just pull you closer to his side and be like “nothing idiot~” in the same cheeky sweet tone. Then later on that day y’all would just to hang out on the couch cuddled up. He was obviously tired since he was yawning every five seconds. He pulled you against his chest and just started mumbling about how happy he was to have you!! But that’s for your ears only!!

Your overall relationship would consist of:

☼lots and lots screaming like dude is loud but he is expressing his love so it’s okay!

☼movie marathons!!

☼pls don’t use puppy eyes on him he’ll cry at how cute you are

☼let him kiss your forehead and your head he wants to be tall

☼he makes u meals but sometimes they burnt 😣

☼brags abt you all the time like I’m pretty sure taehyun knows your favorite food and your birthday by how much gyu talks

☼he loves listening to you talk abt your interest and fascinations !!

so for Enhypen I ship you with !! Mr.Jake sim!

I just know this boy loves you for your witts bro, like.. how can you be so smart, interesting and pretty at the same time?? Like you completely captured this boys heart!! He loves hearing you talk about Roman and Greek mythology and ancient Egypt!! He thinks it’s honestly so amazing to listen to you speak about your interest🥺 He has this thing, where like whenever you do something cute or he just looks at your face he just walks over and squishes your cheeks. He loves loves loves showing physical affection! He WANTS you to know that you are the light of his life and you make him so so happy!! He talks abt Layla to you all the time and even called you her mom like WOAH. Speaking of mom, Jake gives me the vibe he talks to his parents about you!! Like mans is so serious abt you he just adores you!! Dude is so worried about you when you bump into things, like let’s say you accidentally hit a wall. He will be by your side in a second telling you to be more careful them kissing your forehead. He calls you princess 🧍(HAVE U SEEN THAT ONE FAN CALL BYE) he also treats you like a princess as he should. I have a feeling when he can’t see you in person he calls you and y’all will fall asleep on call. like he would be all sleepy and be like “i miss you :(“ and just talk about your guys day and it would be so sweet!! I’m sure you get the idea !! He’s in L word with you hardcore!!

Your overall relationship would consist of!!

☼he always buys snacks for you because he wants his baby to eat well

☼he is a romantic he loves taking walks on the beach with u!! (And Layla)

☼always compliments your eyes !!

☼always gets you flowers or lil things that remind him of you !

☼he has you as his wallpaper!

☼if y’all go see scary movies together he will most definitely try to act tough and protect you but he fails and hides his face in your neck

☼CHEEK KISSES!!!

for bts I ship you with !! Kim taehyung himself !!

okay okay!! I feel like taehyung loves your mind, he loves hearing your side of things and just loves everything about the way you think! He truly thinks your a piece of art !! like homeboy just loves spending time with you and just talking. He is a hopeless romantic like he loves taking you out to dates that mean a lot to both of you! He takes you to art museums and beaches and takes so many pictures of you!! he has a whole folder dedicated to you!! He also loves hanging out with you and your guys friends!! He just wants everyone to know he’s with you forever and ever!! He is the kinda dude to rest his elbow on your head like deadass just to tease you. He takes you to his hometown often because like I said he wants a future with you!! Expect a lot of snacks from his mom because she adores how happy you make him and he is just!! ugh you lucky lucky girl!! He likes to travel with you, like he can be so unpredictable!! dude will sit there and go “for dinner can we get pizza? Also I got us a trip to Paris for my week off” LIKE OKAY WE GET IT YOUR RICH!! But good for you I guess🙄 also matching outfits. He’s buying you a matching beret and your gna wear for that boxy smile idc. He looked at your matching socks and instantly wanted to try and now he claims it’s the coolest shit ever like Yoongi is always like “why tf?? You bought these in pairs?” Like mind your business Yoongi. His baby does it so he wants to do it too !!🙄✋

overall relationship!!

☼kisses on the lips all the time

☼plane ride cuddles

☼ur boyfriend is your professional photographer

☼pls tell him he’s a good boyfriend he just wants to make you happy

☼always talks to you abt the future <3

☼no joke he has y’all’s kids names planned

☼fun fact.. he bought you a promise ring 😣

a/n aaa!! I hope you like it!! I’m so sorry for the wait!!

[saffronwritings]

C L U M S Y | K I R I S H I M A PART TWO

We were bound to make a mess of things; mixin' fireworks and gasoline. Never meant to make you fall with me.

K I R I S H I M A | P A R T  T W O

[Part One]  [Part Three]

C L U M Y  M A S T E R L I S T

 Word Count: 2.3k

 A/N: I am so sorry for how long it took me to post something. I had a lot of technical issues plus the biggest case of writer’s block. I plan to also have part three of both Kirishima’s and Iida’s story at some point this week. I’ll be working hard! I hope you enjoy :) 

In the days to follow, Kirishima could still feel the ghost of your lips against his own. Thinking of the act would make him flush red and he would try to shake it from his immediate thoughts. He tried so very hard to push those thoughts of his feelings for you aside, but you lingered no matter what he did to distract himself. 

 You had also tried to move on past what had happened the night of the dorm party. The very next day, Kirishima had acted like the encounter never happened. You knew better, he was trying to hide his feelings away from the very perceptive Bakugou. You kept trying to forget about the kiss. However, you failed to do so. Anytime the two of you would potentially get a glimpse of one another, you would shy away. 

Kirishima really could not deny his feelings for you, but was he really willing to risk his friendship with Bakugou? The question nagged him every single time he saw the two of you together. You genuinely seemed very happy whenever you were hanging out with Bakugou. Even Bakugou's harsh demeanor would slowly fade away when you came close to him. He would soften up instantly with you by his side. So, who was Kirishima to ruin something as beautiful and manly as a healthy relationship? 

 You, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about what you had done. The small kiss that plagued you with guilt every time Bakugou pecked you on the cheek or even on the lips. It wasn't that long after the incident that Bakugou decided to kiss you. You had betrayed your boyfriend by kissing Kirishima first- his best friend. You were upset that Kirishima had not said anything until after you had agreed to go out with Bakugou. Of course, you and he were great friends. However, you couldn't deny the feelings that had risen over time. After every training session, after every study session, after every hangout. 

 You had just assumed he had only seen you as his female best friend - like a sister. So, when Bakugou began to show interest, you decided to keep Kirishima as your friend and pursue Bakugou. There was no denying that the two of you were opposites when it came to personalities. Yet, there was something about his brash behavior that really pulled you in. Not only that, but you enjoyed that he took his training seriously and even aimed to be the number one hero. 

 With that, however, came days where he had become very stingy. If he had lost a battle or fight against Izuku he would immediately become sour the rest of the day. Not that he ever took out his frustrations on you - however, you didn't enjoy being yelled at. Obviously, that should have been a given when you first signed up to being Katsuki's girlfriend. That wouldn't make it any easier on you when he snapped at you when you did your best to cheer him up. 

 Sometimes you felt like doing your best was not enough.  

 Today was one of those instances where Izuku had outshined all the training Bakugou had done. Everyone was very impressed with Izuku's new shoot style, while only you and the Bakusquad had noticed Katsuki's new moves. When you went up to your boyfriend after training was over, you had not anticipated him to smack your hand away from him. "Hey, it's not that bad Katsuki." You tried to soothe his anger. 

 "BACK OFF. YOU ARE BEING SO CLINGY AND ANNOYING RIGHT NOW." He yelled at you, a fire in his eyes. You shrunk away from his shout. He turned away from you and stomped back to the locker room. You felt breathless - like you had been punched in the gut. Defeated by this development, you had also ventured off to the locker room to get changed. 

 You didn't see Bakugou on your way back to the dorms and this left you feeling disgruntled. "Hey, is everything okay, Y/N?" You heard Kirishima ask from behind you. Turning around quickly, you noticed Kirishima's awkward disposition of being near you. "Bakugou got pretty heated at me after training today." You admitted in defeat. He nodded towards Heights Alliance and you two walked together in silence. 

 "About the other day-" Both of you had started to say at the same time. Realizing you were not just both speaking at the same time, but also talking about the same thing you both quietly returned to silence. "I shouldn't have forced you to kiss me the other day. I put us both in a strange and awkward situation. You shouldn't feel like you can't hang out with Bakugou and I." You broke the silence, apologizing for your misdeed. He seemed taken aback by your apology for some reason - almost upset by it. "I would be lying if I said I actually enjoyed it. I was shocked for sure. I just don't want to hurt Bakugou." He admitted. 

 A blush spread itself over your face as you realized he had walked you all the way back to your dorm room. Your heart was racing a million miles an hour and you felt like you were feint. "I really don't want things to be awkward between us, Kiri." You admitted with a sigh. "Done. We are back too normal." He said with a reassuring smile. "Are you sure? Things have been pretty tense and weird between the two of us ever since I kissed you." You whispered, feeling your face flush even darker. You had looked down at your feet because you could almost feel yourself slipping over your own words. "Only because I was afraid it was going to affect our friendship. If you say that you want it to be the same, then it stays the same. Simple as that." He said, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. 

 There it was again. The undeniable and irresistible urge to kiss him. 

 You reached backwards and fumbled around until you got your dorm room door open. Kirishima gave you a questioning look before you had wrapped your hand around his wrist and drug him into your room. You slammed the door shut quickly before anyone else could see. "If you wanted to hang out or study or something, you could have just ask-" Kirishima started to say but you quickly cut him off by kissing him. It was awkward and rushed. You went to pull back, realizing the mistake you had once again made. However, you were held back by powerful arms holding your waist. Kirishima had deepened the kiss this time instead of fleeing. 

 The feeling of his lips on your just felt right in every way. The kisses were slow and curious - as if studying each other's mouths in case this wouldn't happen again. You wanted to commit the shape of Kirishima's lips to memory. His one hand traveled up to your face and cupped your cheek, rubbing his thumb against your jaw line. You had one hand on the base of his neck - ready to pull him back if he dared tried to pull away. The other was in his spikey hair, gently pulling it as if telling him you wanted to be closer. As if you two weren't close enough already. 

 You had broken the kiss to gasp for air. Your head was feeling light and dizzy from being both intoxicated with his kisses and from not breathing properly. He had his forehead resting against yours, breaths also coming in quickly. That kiss said volumes. You two had feelings for each other. Yet, neither of you knew what to do with them. You didn't want to break Bakugou's heart and he didn't want to hurt his best friend by stealing his girl away from him. 

 "What on earth are we going to do, Y/N." Kirishima sighed, nuzzling his head into your neck. Walking backwards you yet again drug him away from his original standing point. You sat down on your bed and patted the spot next to you for him to join you. He raised his eyebrow towards you. "Please. Just for a few moments." You pleaded. "Okay, okay. Just be warned. I give the best cuddles." He smirked, quickly snuggling up to you in the comfort and warmth of your bed. 

 A giggle escaped your lips as you two lazily draped limbs over one another. You sighed in content being so close to him. Everything with him felt natural. As wrong as this situation was you couldn't help but feel at peace being next to him. "I hate the situation." You whined. Kirishima nodded his head in silence. Both of you knew this was wrong. Both of you knew that this was going to end up hurting feelings of someone. Yet, there was a tug in your stomach that couldn't help but want both. You really liked Bakugou, even on the bad days. 

 You knew that in a few hours he would text you an apology and make it up to you the next day. However, you knew with Kirishima you wouldn't have those kinds of days. It would have been easy - effortless. He would treat you so well. The only issue is you knew if you broke up with Bakugou, he would become very cold towards you. You even considered talking it out with him but considering his hot-headed nature, you knew it wouldn't go well either way. 

 Kirishima could feel your head turning. What should have been a peaceful look on your face was struggling with what to do. He was being selfish, but for once it felt so good to be. Kirishima hated to see you so distraught and hated it even more that your boyfriend caused it. He wanted to erase away your pain, to help you forget the mean things his best friend had said to you. He could go talk to Bakugou. That wouldn't work though. No matter how many times any of the Bakusquad would tell him to be softer to you, he would still revert to his true nature. 

 A defeated sigh escaped Kiri's lips which made you look over at him. "We could keep this a secret." He suggested, finally getting the courage to look you in the eyes. Your eyes went wide at his suggestion. "That's not fair to you though!" You exclaimed, almost attempting to sit up. However, Kirishima had you tightly in his grasp and you weren't going anywhere. "No, but at least I would get some of you. At least for now. Until we can find a better solution." He admitted. 

 The gears were turning in your head and you couldn't help but be a bit giddy that you had the chance to experience things with Kirishima. While it made you slightly nervous about lying and going behind Katsuki's back, you were also a bit thrilled about it. "Okay, if you are okay with it." You nodded, a smile building up on your face. Seeing your smile made Kirishima's heart melt. "Of course." He confirmed, brushing the tip of your nose with his lips. 

 So that's what the two of you did. Things seemingly went back to normal between the two of you as friends. Even Bakugou mentioned he was glad there was no longer the weird tension between the two of you. You all hung out again like nothing had ever happened and no one had the slightest inclination as to what was going on. The routine was simple, you'd act normal throughout the day. However, after school you told everyone you were tutoring Kirishima in one of your classes because he was falling behind. No one batted an eyelash your way. This was typical for the two of you and no one suspected anything. 

 Yet, behind closed doors were roaming lips and hands. There had been few times where the two of you had dangerously fallen asleep after a much-needed cuddle session and he would have to sneak out of your dorm. "I wish I could just, tell Bakugou how it is and just be done with all this." You groaned after a nice hefty kissing session between the two of you. "You always could." Kirishima suggested boldly. "He would explode." You countered at him; eyebrows furrowed. Kirishima had rolled his eyes at your statement. 

 "How long do we plan to just sneak around? I want to do everything right with you. Take you out on dates, buy you flowers, be a gentleman." He admitted, a soft blush rising to his own neck. "I don't know. I've been trying to distance myself from Katsuki, but he doesn't seem to mind. I forgot that sometimes the man likes solitude." You grumbled, going over to your bed, and flopping backwards onto it. A smirk slowly crossed Kirishima's face and he quickly went over to you on your bed. He jumped onto it, hovering over you. 

 A blush once again found itself on your face. He captured your lips with his own. His hands wondering around your body with a heat building up between the two of you. In between kisses he would praise you for how beautiful you were. Your head was in a tizzy from the attack of kissing he was giving you. 

 However, you had forgotten you told Bakugou he could drop off some extra food he had made after he was done his training. The door burst open, having Kirishima immediately fall off the bed and land straight on his butt. You looked into very angry looking red eyes. The two of you looked like deer caught in headlights. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON." Bakugou shouted. 

Taglist:

@devildom-express​

[siren-queen-imagines]

Fluff Alphabet: Zach Dempsey

My first 13 Reasons Why imagine!! Hope you guys like it!!! If you do, expect more! I have one planned for Justin next! Also, such a tragedy of the small amount of Zach imagines on here! How can anyone resist that adorable face?

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about you?): Zach has always been in love with that smile of yours. It’s so contagious and he appreciates that your gorgeous smile can always make him. But also, if he had to go with that same question but one of the guys asked? Your butt. He love the butt.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?): Absolutely. Zach would love a family with you one day. Maybe not in the near future considering the fact that you guys haven’t graduated high school yet but definitely one day. He’s always loved kids and being able to have and care for a little sister made him see that he would love to have some of his own one day...and he hoped you would still be together for that.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?): Zach LOVES cuddling with you. He’s very affectionate with you so sometimes he’ll come up from behind you while you’re at your locker and wrap his arms around you. Granted he’s taller, but should he choose to bend down a bit, his arms will find your waist. If not, his arms will wrap around or rest on your shoulders as he holds you close.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?): Dates with Zach tend to be pretty low key events. Sure, he’ll take you out every now and then, but he prefers to stay in and watch movies or play games and have dinner. You guys spend so much time around everyone at school that it’s nice to have it just be the two of you. Regardless, you always have fun with Zach. Last date night, you both disastrously tried cooking dinner for yourselves and ended up ordering pizza instead. Despite all the cleaning, you guys found ways to have a good time while doing so. 

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)): My Queen and My Sunshine. Zach tends to call you both of those nicknames. You are the queen of his heart and bring sunshine to his life, especially on the days that aren’t so great.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?): It was a random moment. He’s always liked you and that grew but love...that was maybe four months into your relationship.You guys went out to a movie and had dinner at Rosie’s right after. You guys had went to see the new Avengers movie that had come out. You guys had a debate about Star Lord being the main cause of the snap because he interfered in the removal of the infinity gauntlet when it was thisclose to being removed. You were trying to make him see that he was emotional, and yes he was wrong but he reacted the loss of Gamora the way anyone else would. Your argument was so passionate and it shone in your eyes. It was just that moment he knew...it was love.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?): Zach? Oh yeah, he gentle. Especially in football, he’s used to the roughness of sports. He doesn’t want you to feel that. Plus, it’s just nice for him to have to not feel that with someone. One of his favorite things to do while you guys are relaxing is run his fingers through your hair as you practically use him as a pillow. Your hair is so soft and smooth, he wants to make sure to be gentle enough to keep it that way. There was also this one time in PE class that you had scraped up your arm. The way he touched you...feather light as he tried to clean the broken skin. 

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?): Zach always holds hands with you. When you’re standing side by side? He’ll always seek out your hand. His fingers will always lace with yours. Or he’ll put his arm around your shoulders and hope you’ll lace your fingers with his and rest like that. 

I = Impression (What was their first impression?): His first impression of you happened to be something similar to most people. You seemed nice but he didn’t know you really. He thought you were cute too. It wasn’t until you guys were partnered up on a project when you got to know each other and he developed a crush on you apart from the fact that you were attractive.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?): Zach trusts you implicitly. He knows you don’t like to play games so his jealousy isn’t too bad. He’s not much of a jealous person. It only perks up when someone, say like Bryce, Montgomery or even Justin, decide to flirt with you. He just doesn’t like it because they know you’re with him.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?): Your first kiss only happened because you took the first initiative. Zach seemed so nervous and didn’t want to put you in the position where maybe you didn’t want him to kiss you so he would hold back. It wasn’t until date three you couldn’t handle it and kissed him. Zach’s kisses are soft but it’s weird that he can convey his feelings out in a soft kiss like he does. He tends to weave his fingers into your hair when it deepens, his free hand resting on your waist.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?): Despite you initiating the first kiss, Zach was the first to say “I love you”. It wasn’t long after he realized it that he said it. He was nervous and made sure you knew that it was okay that you didn’t feel the same way at the time but he needed to get it off his chest. You saw the tension leave his shoulders when he said it and the breath you didn’t realize he was holding come out when you said it back.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?): One of his favorite memories of his was the day he treated you and his little sister, May, to the carnival that came to town. His mom had to do something at the last minute and got Zach to take care of May...problem was, it was on the night you were supposed to go on a date to the carnival. He was so grateful that you told him to bring May along as it would be good for you and her to get to know each other. He still finds himself looking back on the pictures of that day and the giant smiles on both his favorite girl’s faces. May always looks forward to the chance of hanging out with you and Zach. 

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?): Zach definitely likes to spoil you. But his gifts tend to always have some story or thought behind them...like they’re a reminder of some sort of a funny joke or moments you spent together. He knows you don’t need everything to be happy and loves that about you. If he can, he’ll always try to make a gift for you.

O = Orange (What color reminds them of their other half?): Your favorite color always reminds him of you for obvious reasons. Another will always be your eye color. Whenever it happens to show up, he always imagines your eyes looking back at him in the way you reserve for him.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?): When he doesn’t call you his queen or his sunshine, he’ll call you the most basic nickname: babe. 

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?): When it comes to your relationship, Zach’s favorite non-modern thing to do  is to write you love letters and send them to you in the mail. He tends to do it that way because he likes that it’ll always surprise you and it’s something you can save. He once even used a cassette tape to record you a mixtape to go along with one of your letters. 

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?): Rainy days in your guy’s town usually tend to be cold. So when he spends them with you, he’ll make sure you two are all bundled up with some blankets and some tea or hot chocolate. Then you guys will either play board games or watch some movies.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?): Zach cheers himself up the same way he tends to cheer others up: trying to make them smile or laugh. If Zach is alone, he’ll see if a comedy movie will do the trick. If he’s with someone who needs cheering up, he’ll try to find a way to at least put a smile on their face. He likes the fact that in turn usually he’ll hear what’s bothering the person. For Zach, if the movie doesn’t work, he’ll go for a drive in an effort to clear his head. Or he’ll call you and talk it out. 

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?): Zach likes to talk about a lot of things but his mind will either turn to the current sports season or his future. He wants to be a marine biologist so sometimes random fun facts will come out of his mouth, especially when you guys are studying together and he happens to be working on biology. He also likes to talk about May with you. You can tell how much he cares about her by the way he speaks of her.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?): When he’s alone, Zach relaxes with a video game or reading a book. When he’s with you, he likes to lay in your lap while you play with his hair. The gentleness of it all sometimes puts him to sleep.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?): Like a typical guy, Zach liked to show off his car. Who could blame him, that thing was a beaut. But he was also proud of anything that had to do with the sports he played. He took pride in hard work and anything that came from it, he was proud of. 

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?): Zach doesn’t know when he’ll propose to you. You guys are still in high school, but he knows he will someday. But he does know how he’ll do it. No matter where the two of you end up, he’ll always bring you back to the spot he learned about from his relationship with Hannah. It was a dock and it overlooked the water. He would take you there and most likely go into this big speech about how much he loves you and how he’s been so happy with you before he decides to get down on one knee and ask that scary but amazing question.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?): ‘Build You Up’ by Kamaiyah. He just can’t explain why but it resonates with him. You know why though. Part of you knows that it reminds him of Hannah. But also how he felt after his dad passed away that he needed from his mom.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?): Absolutely. He knew he’d get married one day but it really came to a head when he realized he loved you. He truly hopes that you’ll be the one he marries and spends the rest of his life with. He wants to propose to you...he doesn’t know when but he will. Sometimes he doesn’t care that the two of you are in high school and maybe you two can just have a long engagement. Just knowing the commitment between the two of you is there will hold him over until the wedding day.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?): Zach would definitely get a dog. He wouldn’t be picky on the breed. He’d just want a dog that he can play with and even have a running partner when he works on his cardio. Last he checked, all dogs tick those boxes. Hopefully, he’ll get to share the pet parenting with you.

[soleilees]

late night drives | na jaemin

summary - best friend!jaemin wants to go for a car ride at midnight during the summer and it leads down an unexpected path

genre - fluff, drabble

warnings - none

word count - 2.3k

from nana: u up?

It was nearly midnight when Jaemin texted you, but you were still up, watching Netflix of course.

So you had texted him back a simple yes, why? because you were curious to know what on earth your longtime friend and crush could possibly want at midnight.

from nana: wanna go for a drive?

And that’s how you were now in your car and on your way to his house.

You had taken your hair out of it’s messy bun and brushed it out, put on a little mascara, and swapped your Nike shorts out for a pair of jean shorts. Of course you kept on your oversized hoodie.

You had left a note on your bedroom door saying you needed something at the store and gone, though you know your parents wouldn’t mind.

However, you aren’t sure how Jaemin is planning on getting out of his house.

When you pull in, you turn your headlights off and send him a text. Only a minute later do you see Jaemin open a window in the front of the house. He ungracefully climbs out of it before letting himself jump out, a smile on his face as he does so.

“That was really graceful.” You sarcastically note s he gets into the car.

“Hey, a guys gotta do what a guys gotta do.” Jaemin shrugs, flashing you his toothy smile that’s strong enough to make anyone melt.

You roll your eyes at him, turning the car back on and backing out. “How is it that you ask me to go for a drive and I get stuck driving?”

He wastes no time in unplugging your phone from the aux and plugging his in. “You did just see me climb out of a window, right? If I took the car I’d most definitely be dead.”

“Fine, where are we off to?” You ask, pulling out onto the main road that is eerily empty.

“The overlook?” He suggests.

“Should we stop to get snacks?” You ask, glancing over at him.

You both nod at the same time, drawing out the same “yeahhhhh”.

So you pull into the nearest open gas station. You grab a bag of hot cheetos, Snickers, a bottle of Arizona Tea to share, and a water. Jaemin just grabs a bag of gummies and a water. You of course pay for the snacks - though you don’t mind - and then you two head out.

The two of you don’t really talk on the ride there. Instead, you both sing songs as loud as you can.

The best part about summer is this.

Of course, it started last summer when Mark was the only one who could drive. You, Jaemin, Jeno, Haechan, and Renjun would all pile into Mark’s car and go for joy rides, occasionally hanging out at places like the parks or lakes.

A month into summer and the whole group had only gotten around to doing that once. This is your and Jaemin’s third time, though there was one time that you managed to drag Haechan and Jeno out.

“Okay, gummy me.” You say as you wait for the next song to come on.

Jaemin places a gummy in your extended hand. You pop it into your mouth before turning onto the short road that leads to the overlook.

The road leads through some trees with maybe two street lights.

“This feels like a horror movie waiting to begin.” You say, turning your brights on.

Jaemin snorts. “You’re such an idiot.”

You reach over and hit him before pulling into a parking spot. “I will leave you here.”

“No you won’t,” he beams. “You love me too much.”

You wouldn’t say love, but you do like him too much. You just roll your eyes at him as you turn the car off. “Do not.”

He just laughs before grabbing the Arizona, the gummies and your Snickers bar. The both of you leave your phones and your keys in the car before climbing out.

The routine has been to sit on the hood of your old Volkswagen and talk.

Which is what you two do.

You lay on your back and let your feet dangle off the front of the car. Jaemin does the same after taking a drink of the tea and setting it down between the two of you.

“Are you scared for college?” Jaemin asks, gently kicking his feet over the edge of the hood.

College isn’t too far away, though you try not to think about it. You just shrug. “Not really. I just try not to think about it.”

He glances over at you. “I’m scared.”

You turn your head so that you’re looking back at him, the glow of the one lightpost and moon outlining his face. You can barely see his face, but you can make it out.

“You’re not scared about getting murdered up here but you’re scared of college?”

A grin slowly appears on his face. “Listen, if a murderer shows up I will protect you.”

“I really appreciate that, you’ll definitely scare them off.” You tease, reaching for the Arizona. “What about college scares you?”

Jaemin shrugs before looking back up at the sky. “I don’t know.” He sighs. “Maybe just everyone going their own ways.”

You drink from the Arizona while thinking about school. You don’t even know where you want to go and you know the boys certainly don’t either. You like to think that no matter where everyone goes you’ll all still keep in touch and come together whenever you possibly can.

“Well at least we still have another year before we have to worry about that.”

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, staring up at the endless sky. Past the glow of town stars twinkle in the dark sky, full of scattered clouds. There’s a cool breeze blowing through the warm air.

“Do you still suck at finding constellations?” Jaemin asks.

You snort because the boys like to tease you for your lack of skill of being able to pick out the Little and Big Dipper. You’re fairly certain they’ll never let you live it down.

“Sorry to disappoint but I haven’t been spending my summer studying constellations.” You quip.

A mischievous grin grows across his face as his eyes scan the sky. “I already found the North Star.”

“Good for you, nerd.” You mock, turning your eyes back up.

He bumps his leg against yours. “You’re just jealous.”

You laugh, “Most definitely not.”

“Can you even find it?”

“I don’t want to find it.”

Jaemin laughs next to you, obviously aware of the fact that you actually can’t find it. You almost jump when you feel his hand grab yours. You glance over at him once more as he points your finger to trace out the Big Dipper. The smile that’s always on his face is there as his eyes twinkle from the starlight.

He turns his attention back to you. “Y/N, you’re not even looking at it.” He pouts.

You grin despite the weird butterflies in your stomach as your hands both fall to the hood of the car. But he doesn’t let your hand go.

So you do perhaps the bravest thing - since you kissed Lee Felix last year after your school dance - and move your hand around in his so that your fingers are clasped in his.

His pout just turns back into his contagious smile before he runs his other hand through his hair and looks back up at the sky.

You’ve never really showed how much you like Jaemin. Sure you’ve hugged and fallen asleep with your head on his shoulder, but you do that with all of your friends. Other than your girl friends, Haechan is always the only one who is ready to cuddle.

So holding his hand is a big deal.

Maybe the first time you realized that you liked Na Jaemin was when he had asked his crush to the same dance that you had kissed Felix at. You’d always treated him like a brother until you realized he actually really liked this girl. He had sworn that she was nice and that everyone would like her but once your friend group met her, you decided you didn’t. Most of the others didn’t like her either.

So when Felix asked you to the dance, you said yes because you didn’t want to spend the night thinking about Jaemin with that girl. Then at the end of the night you decided you wanted to kiss him to prove to yourself you didn't like Jaemin. Turns out the kiss just made you realize how much you wished it was Jaemin that you were kissing instead of Felix.

Jaemin and the girl lasted a month before he realized that she didn’t really like him, she just wanted to do things that made everyone uncomfortable, including Jaemin.

And while you had been ecstatic that they no longer were even speaking, you never acted on your feelings for him.

Each stroke of his thumb over the back of your hand sends electricity up your arm.

You bite at your lip to stop the big smile on your face as you watch clouds roll in.

“Do you think it’s gonna rain?” You ask.

He laughs. “Oh my God, we aren’t resorting to weather conversation are we?”

You sit up and look at him. “I’m being serious!” You exclaim. “I don’t want to get rained on!”

Jaemin shakes your hand. “You’re so lame.”

You roll your eyes. “Fine, then what would you like to talk about? More constellations?”

“Hey, don’t mock the constellations.” He threatens.

“Or what?” You mock.

He raises his eyebrows, feigning shock. “Really?”

“Really.”

Jaemin uses his hand that’s latched onto yours to pull you up with him so that he’s leaning against the hood of the car and you’re standing between his legs. This is maybe one of the rare times that you’re taller than him, even if it’s just by an inch.

You don’t realize you’ve been looking at his lips until his smile begins to fade. When you look back up to his eye you can make it out in the moonlight that he’s looking at yours.

The breath in your lungs becomes stuck as you realize how close you are to Jaemin. His bangs lightly tickle your forehead. His breath fans across your lips and chin. His hand is still intertwined with yours, the other rubbing your arm gently.

Maybe Jaemin notices because he brings his eyes up to yours.

“Y/N, if you don-“

“No, no, it’s not that.” You quickly say, bringing your free hand up to the base of his neck. “It’s not you. I’m just nervous.”

“Are you saying I make you nervous?”

You slap his shoulder despite your grin. “Stop!”

He laughs even as you put both hands around his neck, playing with the soft hair at the top of it.

“You know I like you, right?” He asks.

You smile at the confession, your cheeks even get warm. It’s like someone lets loose a bunch of butterflies. While he isn’t a shy person, he’s never really showed signs of interest that you’ve noticed. But you suppose you haven’t acted on your feelings either.

Instead of trying to find something else to say, you let your lips find his. You let your eyes flutter close. You let your arms pull yourself closer to him.

His slightly chapped lips are soft against yours as his big smile molds into your lips. His hands press against your sides tenderly.

Pure bliss is his lips against yours, parting only for a second to breath before they’re reconnected. Jaemin’s soft hands reach for your face before they get lost in your hair. You can’t help but fall in love with the feeling of his hands in your hair, on your cheeks, or even on your sides.

You could let yourself drown in him if it wasn’t for the feeling of a cold drop hitting your skin. The first drop of rain makes you jump.

The second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth- you begin to push away from Jaemin, groaning against his lips.

“Jaemin!”

His bright smile is maybe the only reason your lips part.

“Hm?” He hums, his arms sliding back down to wrap them around your torso. He pulls you closer so that your chest is against his as well as your forehead pressed against his.

You squirm in his arms as rain begins to pelt down, soaking through your hair and starting to soak your sweatshirt.

“It’s raining!” You exclaim. “Can we please get back into the car?”

Jaemin shakes his head, hair already sticking down to his head. “We’re already wet.”

You pout, pulling your hood up, though it does very little. “Can we at least save the gummy bears and Snickers?”

He shakes his head once more. “How about we kiss again instead?”

Never in a thousand years did you imagine that Na Jaemin would be asking you to kiss him- again.

You snake your arms back around his neck and let him pull you back against his body, only so that you could feel his warmth.

Before you can even press your lips back to his, thunder rumbles in the distance.

The both of you stop.

“Now can we get back in the car?” You plead, the pouring rain now soaking through your sweatshirt.

He nods, letting go of you and reaching back for the foods. You quickly grab the bottles before rushing back into the car, a huge smile on your face.

[trashforhockeyguys]

For The Rest of Time// Auston Matthews

Requested by anon: Can you do one where she’s Mitch’s little sister and is dating/ planning to marry Auston?

A/N: Okay I literally wrote this in like 2 hours because I really loved this request and thought it was adorable, so sorry if it’s all over the place and awful. But anyway, thanks to whoever sent this in to me, I hope you like it, and I hope you start feeling better soon!

There was almost no one that you loved more than your big brother. Mitch, who was two years older than you, was literally your favorite person in the entire world. The two of you were thick as thieves and did practically everything together growing up.

He held your hand as you walked into your first day of school, a tradition that you continued until he left to play hockey elsewhere. He not so secretly stalked you on every date you went on, just to make sure you were being treated right. Mitch also loved to threaten any possible boyfriends, which always made you laugh because Mitch was so scrawny. Not to mention he wasn’t that intimidating with his mullet.

You assumed that Mitch had told his teammates on the Leafs all about his little sister. Since the goof never stopped talking about you when he was away. However, you couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Hey! This is a closed practice!” One of Mitch’s teammates yelled.

“Yeah, I know,” You replied, “But, Mitchy told me I had to wait on his ass.”

The player, that you soon recognized as the great Auston Matthews, huffed. You were honestly a little pissed off at him due to the look he shot you. But if you weren’t mad, you probably would’ve been freaking out. You were talking to, and standing not far away from, Auston fucking Matthews. He hadn’t even made his NHL debut yet and he was already the Wonder Boy of the NHL.

“Hey Marner!” Auston called,” You know this chick?”

You could see Mitch mumble a quick curse and skated over to the open door. He quickly made his way over to where Auston was standing. You almost wanted to laugh. Mitch looked like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Yeah, that’s my little sister.”

“Fuck man! I didn’t know you had a sister!” Auston all but yelled.

“Wow Bitchell,” You narrowed your eyes, “You didn’t tell them about your favorite person, eh?”

“I’m not going to hear the end of this am I?” Mitch groaned.

“Absolutely not,” You promised,” Now get your ass on the ice, Bitchell. I really don’t want to stay late because you got in trouble.”

“Can you stop calling me that?” He asked.

You looked at him and laughed, very loudly, “Absolutely not. Now GO!”

He tapped Auston’s shoulder and walked back towards the ice. Auston winked before he turned to follow Mitch. That’s how it all started. That stupid wink.

Not long after the season started, you were hanging out in Mitch’s apartment, Auston was there too. Mitch randomly had to go to the store. That left you and Auston awkwardly sitting on the couch together, watching The Mighty Ducks.

You slowly noticed Auston’s hand moving closer to yours. You probably would’ve called him out on it, if you weren’t craving his touch. You wanted to blame it on the fact that you’d just broken up with your boyfriend not long before, and he was Auston Matthews. You could try and blame it on the fact that he was always looking at you, or winking, or smiling. You tried to play it off, after all, you were two years younger than the nineteen-year-old rookie, and you were his teammates little sister.

However, that way of thinking was thrown out the window a few weeks later. You’d been spending more and more time with Mitch, mainly because you knew you’d get to see Auston. The two of you had gotten closer, you texted just about every single day and snapchatted almost nonstop. There was some flirting for sure, but you were still trying to brush it off.

That was, until Auston pulled you away from everyone at dinner one night, and kissed you. You’d been shocked to say the least, but after that it was like full speed ahead. You’d never imagined that you’d ever date an NHL player, much less one as high profile as Auston.

The two of you caught a lot of flack for your relationship too, seeing as you were only sixteen when you started dating. The only major issue of your relationship, was having to tell Mitch about it. But somehow, your big brother was okay with you and Auston.

So, four long years later, you were still happily dating Auston. After graduating high school, you started at U of T and went to every home game. You always had on Auston’s jersey and most days you were in his shirts and sweatpants.

The two of you often drove Mitch crazy, because you were almost always cuddling or holding hands. If you ever kissed in front of your brother, he was almost guaranteed to make some sort of gagging noise. But when you’d look over at your big brother, he’d always have the biggest smile on his face. He knew you were undeniably happy, and that was good enough for him.

Currently, you were at Matt Martian’s wedding. You watched as Matt and Sydney shared their first dance. Auston had his hand on your thigh, which is where it had been since the ceremony ended and the reception had started. You felt Auston squeeze your thigh, causing you to smile.

“I can’t wait to marry you,” He whispered in your ear.

You looked over at him and raised your eyebrows, “Well, that requires you to put a ring on it first, bub.”

“I tried, someone wouldn’t take it,” He reminded you.

You leaned into him, “You know that’s not what happened. I told you that you needed to talk to Mitchy first.”

“I told you I’d talk to him after, I already got your dad on board.”

Auston had proposed to you nearly two weeks ago. You’d said yes of course, with one condition, he had to get Mitch’s approval before you’d actually accept the ring. He knew how important it was for you to have your brother’s approval, especially since Auston was Mitch’s teammate. The last thing you wanted to do was make anything weird or awkward, not when the team had done so well last season.

“I can’t wait to marry you,” Auston whispered in your ear, “ I wanna call you my wife. I can’t wait to start a family with you either.”

“Oh really?”

“Mmm, I want to be able to look up during a game, and know that you’re up there with our kids,” He admitted.

“Oh? More than one?” You questioned.

“I was hoping more than one, if you’d let me,” He shrugged.

The two of you seemed to forget that you were at a wedding, around his entire team. You were in your own little world. Lost in your conversation with Auston. You were practically sitting on his lap at this point. But neither of you cared.

“Oh bub, you know I want a big family,” You grinned,” At least two or three, maybe more depending on how they turn out. We’ll get them all little baby Matthews jerseys. They can run around the rink, and play mini sticks together. They’d probably have the entire team wrapped around their little fingers too.”

“Really?” Auston’s smile was big and bright,” You’ve thought about it.”

“Yeah, I think about it all the damn time, actually,” You said sheepishly.

“You sure you don’t want that ring right now?” He questioned,” Because I have it in my pocket.”

“What the fuck man!” Mitch exclaimed,” You bought an engagement ring for my baby sister, and didn’t even talk to me about it.”

“Mitchy, we were going to talk to you about it-“

“Whatever,” He mumbled, “Excuse me.”

You sighed and stood from your chair, “I’ll be right back.”

You made your way towards the door that Mitch walked out of. You knew he probably wasn’t mad, more like just upset that he hadn’t been told sooner. Mitch was always the first person to know about something going on in your life. This would be one of the first times that you hadn’t told him about something almost as soon as it happened.

“You really love him, huh?” Mitch said once you were out on the patio.

“I wouldn’t still be dating him if I didn’t,” You admitted,” I know you probably aren’t overly thrilled. But I can’t help it, I plan on loving him for the rest of my life.”

He let out a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. He glanced back inside the building, towards where Auston was watching you and your brother, clearly waiting to see what happened.

“He better treat you right,” Mitch finally said, “I’ll kick his ass if he doesn’t.”

“So, you’re okay with this?” You questioned cautiously.

“I’ve always been okay with it, Y/N,” He promised you, “I just want you to be happy, and if Auston makes you happy than who am I to stand in the way.”

You hugged Mitch as tightly as you possibly could. Truthfully, you probably wouldn’t have said yes to Auston if Mitch hadn’t approved. But you also knew there was almost no way that Mitch would say no. He loved Auston, and although he often gave you two shit, he loved how happy Auston made you.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Mitch said nudging you towards the door.

You slid back into your seat and leaned over to kiss Auston. He didn’t have to ask, because he could tell by the unbridled smile on your face. You were grinning so hard it hurt, but you couldn’t stop either. Auston at Mitch, who was smiling just as big as he nodded at Auston.

“I think you have something you want to give her,” Mitch told him.

Auston glanced around the room, almost everyone was dancing now. So, all of this would go unnoticed, which was fine by you. You didn’t want to take away from Matt and Sydney, this was their day after all. But as Auston laughed slightly and reached into his pocket, you couldn’t help but start to tear up.

“Alright, I already gave the big speech once,” He said, flicking open the velvet box, “ Y/N Marner, will you please marry me?”

“Of course, I will,” You nodded, a few tears falling down your cheeks.

Auston seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. You watched through blurry eyes as he slipped the ring on your finger. The medal was cold, but you liked the weight of it on your finger. You admired it for a second before kissing Auston again.

The both of you laughed as Mitch pulled you in for a big group hug. Before you could react, the other Leafs joined in, seemingly understanding what had just happened. Matt pulled you in for an almost bone crushing hug, stating that you were like his daughter, and how proud he was of the woman you’d become.

As the rest of your hockey family gathered around to congratulate you two, you reached for Auston’s hand. He grinned at you and squeezed it. You realized that you wouldn’t want any other life, because all was as it should be. 

[onlytbz]

Casual (Kevin)

You and Kevin have been friends for years, but you two slowly drifted apart as Kevin went on his way to becoming an idol. That one random day, you suddenly hear some voices in your head, and it’s been giving you a headache since.

words: 1628

A/N: this is half serious and half not, WE’LL SEE. i also haven't’ done bullets in awhile, but i might just continue writing narratives bc i feel like i’m being too serious when i do bullet points.

also i’m sorry that i haven’t been posting any writings, and thank you for being patient!

You and kevin have been friends for years, yes

BUT

Kevin left and went on his way to be an idol

You ended up being in a band with a group of people that ended up being your friends

You played guitar

And let’s say you’re tiny

Bc i like tiny people

They’re the reason that you know about this soulmate thing

But you didn’t care

That might explain why you hear random noises

Sometimes screaming at like 3 in the morning

Sometimes it sounds like they’re yelling for their mom

Let’s say you’re fluent in korean

Thanks to family visits to kevin’s place and your bandmates

And let’s be real

You sorta forgot about kevin bc he’s gone for years

So you feel like the voice seems familiar but at the same time it’s not

You know?

You were just practicing one time and your head just

“CAN I GET A HOYAA!?”

You accidentally did a wrong note and it killed everyone’s ears

“ARE YOU GOOD?” your bandmates said

“NO.”

NOW TO KEVIN’S SIDE OF THE STORY

He’s was doing the flower snack thing

He was yelling so much

Whenever he does something, he yells for his mom

You know, the usual

Then he just yelled “CAN I GET A HOYAA!?”

And Hwall just answered

Dude

Then a random “NO.” popped up in his head

AND HE YELLED LIKE HE’S IN PAIN

“KEVIN WHAT THE HECK!?” New yelled

“SOMEONE JUST YELLED IN MY HEAD!”

“HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?”

“I DON’T KNOW, TELEPATHY!?”

It took awhile until he started to work and get ready for the little restaurant

He ended up bobbing his head while no music is playing

Why?

Good question

“Why are you bobbing your head?” juyeon asked while laughing

“Is there no music playing?”

“No?”

“Guess it’s just me.”

He finds out about the soulmate thing after his first fansign after debut and everything makes more sense

But he also things it’s hella weird

A couple months later and you guys have done some performances

Most famous one ends up being ft island’s summer night’s dream

Which is a bop by the way

Highly recommend

Your long note is what EVERYONE LOVES

Even your bandmates make you do it bc of how much they love it

With time went by, your group slowly got popular, mainly for your covers

Whenever you do a busking, everyone’s literally waiting for you guys

Sometimes your fans get their before you do

And they’re really nice that they let you through to get to your spot

Also you’re the only one with a natural hair color bc you don’t want to destroy your scalp

Everyone likes to watch your group tune their instruments

The fact that you guys tune your instruments by ear and that’s amazing

You accidentally sang a note and everyone’s all

“WHOA.”

You’re just sitting there all confused

Little did you know that you’re singing Giddy Up by The Boyz

And that Kevin is in the group

Bc you’re not into kpop and your friends just wanted to do the song

And it fits with the instruments in a way

When you started, everyone was already cheering, even before the first line even started

Little did you know that the group itself was cruising along and ends up hearing a familiar tune

“What is that?” one of the members ask

“It’s a different song, jacob, don’t worry.” another said

Sangyeon of course

Then they see a giant crowd

Like what?

When the first line was sung, they were all shocked bc it was their songs

Like

SOMEONE KNOWS ABOUT US?

THEY LIKE OUR SONGS?

Ok maybe not like that but they would be surprised

Kevin heard it in his head too and he was confused

So they went to check it out

Which startled the fans, but they managed to get to the front and see who it was

They didn’t know you guys

Kevin’s head didn’t even click on who you were

They stayed there until their song ended

Then the bop played

Aka summer night’s dream

They seemed to like the song and the beat and they even clapped with the fans

Your group looked and noticed them and almost had a heart attack

But they kept playing

Bc you gotta continue with the performance until you’re done

You’re not nervous though, bc you didn’t even notice them

You did that long note and kevin just seems shocked

But then he realized it was your voice that’s been in his head

Still didn’t know that it was you though

After you’re done, they all cheered

Of course you hear a mix of voices, but that one voice sticks out to you the most

You just continue waving to your fans

“Y/N, how do you tune by ear?” a fan asked

“Just practice until you can memorize the tuned notes. Took me so long, but it’s worth it.” you smiled.

Kevin immediately dropped his jaw when he heard your name

“Y/N!?”

You looked over to his direction

Where did that come from?

Then you see someone waving his hands in the air

But at the same time how come they haven’t been trampled over

But also your fans are nice, they wouldn’t do that

You were confused on who it was

He ended up smiling at you and YOU INSTANTLY KNEW WHO IT WAS

Now you’re wondering

How did you forget about him?

Oh wait, because of practice

After you cleaned up, you immediately went to him

“HOLY HECK I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN YEARS!”

“SAME WITH YOU!”

“Dude, you left me though.”

“I’M SORRY!”

Then you guys talked non stop

“Also, do you know about the soulmate thing?” kevin suddenly asks

“What.”

“Soulmates.”

“What about them?”

“I think we’re soulmates.”

“Were you the one asking for a ‘hoya’?”

“M-Maybe…”

“Then we are.”

“HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?”

“YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WOULD LITERALLY DO THAT.”

“You’re not wrong…”

Now let’s skip to the part where you two are actually a thing

Ok so we all know you two are a thing

But you two more act like you’re best friends

You guys play fight

Then you guys would just chill

Cuddles?

Casual

Kisses?

No thanks

Kevin’s too awkward for kisses and so are you

When both of your groups hang out, they’re mainly focused on your instruments

And you two are only interested in chilling together

The only person you trust with your guitar is jacob bc he wouldn’t do anything that will damage it

Honestly, you two look like parents watching over kids

Too many kids

Whenever jacob was done, he would return it to you and you would play some notes

Kevin would touch some of the strings

Sometimes you would hit him because you were afraid that he’s going to break one

“Do you not trust me with your guitar?”

“No.”

“Y/N PLEASE.”

Of course you were only kidding

Both of your groups would ask the same question

“Did you guys kiss yet?”

“No???”

“??????? why haven’t you guys?”

“We don’t want to????”

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH KISSING?”

“IT’S G R O S S”

Honestly you guys are just being kids

You guys even treat kissing on the cheek as if you’re kissing another member

Everyone literally tried to get you two to act like a couple

BUT YOU JUST CAN’T

Insert the moment you kissed him on the cheek

CUE THE HIGH PITCH SCREAMING

HIGH AND LOUD ENOUGH THAT YOUR BANDMATES COVERED THEIR EARS

“SHUT UP YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY DATING?”

“SHUT UP YOU’RE LITERALLY SINGLE??”

“SHUT UP??????”

Literally when are you guys ever serious about dating

To be real, kevin would probably follow you everywhere

But he knows his limits of course

Why hold hands when he can just cling onto your arm?

Why do just that when he can also hold your hand?

He also seems like the type to go to the arcade but watch you play the games instead

Seeing you happy and excited is the best thing that he had dealt with

When you win something, you’d give it to him

“But you won it?”

“But you didn’t do anything?”

“But you deserve it?”

“But I got it for you?”

“But-”

“Just take it”

“Ok”

To be honest, people wouldn’t even know you guys are dating

They just think you guys are just idol friends

You guys would go on night walks, possibly with a camera to video you both

But also an actual camera bc you love taking pictures

Sometimes kevin will just look at the sky and you would just take a picture

And BOY DOES HE LOOK STUNNING

Kevin would also take selfies on both of your phones

Since he’s the taller one and he purposely makes you look short as hell

That’s when you kill him

After your walk, you would go to the cafe

Those that are somehow still open

He’d call you basic for ordering a simple drink

You’d call him a coffee addict and he wouldn’t be sorry about it

Let’s be real, if beyonce was played in a store, he would start dancing

And you would just leave him

Especially in a store

Whether it’s a grocery store or a mall

He’d just yell your name

And you just raise your hand and in an instant he’s already clinging onto your torso

Like d u d e

He’d buy you lots of gifts and take you anywhere

Or let’s you drag him around places

You guys holding hands will probably be the most romantic thing you guys have done without screaming

Sometimes he kisses the back of your hand aka the only affection that you guys don’t scream at

Just

You guys are hella adorable

[6ad6ro]

um so… i woke up thinking of this old friend. she was like best friends w my bad ex? like i used to hang out w her like crazy. she was rly nice? mostly? tho she def had this issue where she didn’t rly know what she wanted in life. and let other ppls warped judgements of “how ppl should act” rub off on her.

like i remember times she would more or less call me a lazy piece of shit to my face. like it was somehow “understood”? but then i’d be like “why are u calling me that?” and she wouldn’t know. bc it wasn’t her actual opinion. she liked who i was. idk she was just rly confused. i think her brother was a cop. her dad was emotionally neglecting and like conservative or militant? i remember her always wanting to smoke pot but also saying “drugs are bad™”. she was someone who u could tell always wanted to be free but was held back by the opinions of the people around her.

especially her on again off again bf? i… didn’t like him. he wanted to grow up to be a politician. he only listened to classic rock. he looked and acted like a conservative wanabee eric foreman from that 70s show, but somehow even worse. he had her convinced that her dream was to be “a loving housewife”… it made me sick. i remember how he tried to convince her to stop hanging out w her best friend and me JUST bc she smoked pot. bc “she was an evil hippie and bad”. i mean tbh she SHOULD have stopped hanging out w my bad ex, but for completely dif reasons. like he was def that kinda guy. a selfish, immature, stubborn, self-righteous idiot. but he was the first guy to ever rly like her. and she had… self esteem issues. i remember how she would… was always waiting for him to decide to wanna go out w her. she seemed so lonely.

her and i were kinda friends separately from my bad ex (lets call her “A”). so one time i remember she ended up coming over to hang w me n watch rocky horror in my room? it was rly fun tbh!! we were having a great time! it was totally innocent! but i remember at one point she like… got weird. got up. and was like “im sorry i think i’m being a bad person i gotta go”. and left? i didn’t get it at the time? or rather… i think i denied it. she clearly liked me, wanted something to happen that night, and felt like a bad friend for having those thoughts. i never asked her about it but looking back it was p obvious. also A was a control freak n just a bad person… so i wouldn’t be surprised if she told L to stay away from me. even tho A was constantly cheating on me n using everyone around her etc. idk it was complicated.

i also remember another time before her and that guy that became her bf (lets call her “l” and him “m”)… i remember there was some small party at my house and for some horribly embarrassing reason my bad ex (we were still together then) convinced me to mess around w her under a blanket in same room as our other friends? we were all v v drunk. i guess it made others in room feel v lonely n so L and this other girl started like… both making out w the one other guy in the room? it was bizarre. that kind of stuff is fine in some circumstances? but this was rly unhealthy. i remember the guy felt bad and told the other girl he had to stop bc he had always rly liked L and wanted to see where things would go w her? other girl said she was fine w it (and knowing her persona it easily was?) and he ended up napping on floor w L. next day i think she woke up, completely regretted what happened, and ran back to M. it kinda sucked for guy bc he rly cared about her but she never even was willing to talk about what had happened. to her it was just a drunken mistake (i knew she kinda liked him back but obv she was scared).

even w all that stuff, L was a constant member of our hangout group for like… 7 or 8 years straight? idk! it was always rly fun w her! even if, looking back, A constantly was ruining all our fun w her insane bullshit. i have fond memories of 3am park hangouts n just roaming around talking n going on adventures… i’d never cheat on a partner. never have, never will. but i think i did have like… feelings for L that i always ignored? that part of her that… wanted freedom? from those weird family’s/bf’s/society’s ideals that she let chain her down? it was attractive. she was a nice person just doin her best.

anyways i remember around when A and i finally broke up for good (only a month after my dad died, if u wanna know how awful of a person A was). and she ended up taking me aside n warning me that A had been cheating on w me w another guy, but it’d gotten serious w him. and A of course was lying and stringing me along so she could get money n sex from me etc. A using me was p common. but L had had enough and “betrayed A” (did a v nice thing) and told me. i think that was… really what set in motion A and i being done for good. that helped wake me up about what a horrible person A was. and had always been. i’ll always be grateful to L for that. that must’ve been hard for her. and i think her and A’s like 10 year friendship died over that. which rly was a good thing like A was a terrible person.

anyways fast forward like 2? 3?? 4 years? L had gone off to a college out of state w her boyfriend M. she… followed him around. no judgement, but it prob wasn’t good for her. i was in an apartment in another city and me and A had been DONE™ for years. i was still def hurt from the 8+ years of abuse, but i was def over her at least. seeing other ppl regularly. it was def a weird time for me but… that’s another story.

L and i hadn’t rly talked in years. i just didn’t rly associate w ppl A still hung around. i never knew her and L had stopped being friends or i prob woulda kept up w L. i don’t think L and i cut off contact on purpose, but it was just one if those “things”. but L hit me up outta the blue. was like “ back in town do u wanna hang?” and we did! it was rly nice seeing her! we went out and about. idk. we started hanging for a bit. but she… idk she clearly rly enjoyed my company? but also… had those weird judgements. idk.

one time we were hanging and she was at my place and saw all the alcohol i had layin around and was like “hey uhhh can i have some?” and i was like “hehe okay i guess we can drink” and ordered a pizza and we just hung out.

idk but before we got drunk she finally told me why she was back. M, the guy she had followed to college, had done the gross, stereotypical dude thing of breaking up w her right after they both graduated. i got a vibe he had been cheating on her all throughout too. he rly was the type. and as we drank we talked about it. i felt so bad for her. she vented all night. and idk all i remember was we were both v drunk and i think i was… idk why my head was in her lap? but she was playing w my hair. and idk. we kissed. things happened. she seemed so happy w it! i was too. i even stupidly cracked a joke “i bet A would be rly pissed if she saw us rn” and we both laughed. i always regretted sayin it tho bc its not like i was doin it to get back at A.

but i remember we were in my bed making out bc i had accidentally gotten aggressive w her n slammed her into a wall n started kissing her? so hard her nose started bleeding? i felt awful but she LOOOVED it and idk we somehow wound up in bed. idk i kinda regret this. bc… i was having a hard time around then and… just sleeping w all my friends? it just became… clockwork. i would do what i thought my friends wanted me to do regardless of how i felt. i had become kinda a slut.

so i remember like… making out but then i started to escalate things? and i think fir a split second she sobered up and was like “wait lets cool this down a little”. and i was like “okay no prob” and we both tried to go for a walk n find a park? we walked hand in hand and she kept telling me how happy she was? like how… this was the kinda stuff M would never do with her? she was just smiling a lot. it was cute. but i was so drunk n still fairly new to area, so i took her in wrong direction from the park. we ended up giving up n just walking back.

we got back in and thats i think when she sobered up mostly but i wad still out of it? and she realised her dog hadn’t been fed. it was def a partial excuse but she rly loved that dog so i could tell it was REAL guilt. i felt bad bc i tried to take her hand n go back into my room bc i wanted her to stay n cuddle? i was just drunk. i wasn’t forceful, but i shoulda been like “oh that’s fine!” but tbh i was also a touch worried she was too drunk to drive. well anyways… she left.

later we did have a looong talk about it. like… she ended up going to try and get back with M again (i still will never know what she saw in him like he rly used her n treated her bad like even going so far as to ask her advice on dating other girls after they broke up). but idk i thought she was smart enough to end things w him, and could tell her and i had feelings, so i tried to stay a lil closer than friends? idk what i told her but it was along the lines of “we can stay friends but if things happen sometimes it’s okay w me”. i look back on it w embarrassment but i guess it wasn’t that bad a thing to say?

but rly it was mostly a drunken mistake. and she was scared. and wanted to cut it off. she couldn’t end things w M like she was still torally in love w him even tho he had abandoned her. tbh i know what that’s like. well anyways i remember a few hangouts later she just… bailed on me? in a rly mean way? i had gone to pick her up from her house (idk 30 min drive each way) and she just… totally stood me up. i was parked at her house like texting her wondering where she was? and she sent me a text like “sorry something came up”. and wouldn’t tell me what happened and i got annoyed and drove home.

i have a feeling now that like M had… shown back up in her life and she sorta… threw me away to run back to him? i mean i can’t take it too personally bc she woulda done that to ANYONE. i don’t remember what happened after that but we just stopped talking again. i saw later on fb that her and M had gotten engaged or married?? idek? idk if her and i are still fb friends or if one of us blocked the other or what? i don’t remember.

but idk. i hope she’s well. i hope M got WAYYY better. or she left him. or idk. i wouldn’t even know how to contact her. i’m almost afraid to. like bc i… could see her giving up on her dreams and just being that housewife to him. even if she was mildly content doing that, i know she’d never be happy. and it’s so unlikely that he’d have grown to be good to her. i just… hope she’s doing well and is okay and happy. idk why i woke up worrying about her. it’s been so long… i’m such a dif person now. idk. time is weird.

[baebbaeby]

(NCT) Boyfriend!Jaehyun

heh

first of all i wanna say this man would speak softly to you no matter what

especially if he had a crush on you he’d be soooOOO soft

when he likes you he’d aaaalways smile at you, he’d be really casual about it by always sitting near you, always looking at you, always including you in conversations

he would always look into your eyes when talking to you, even if he got a little red or flustered, he’d always want to look into them

i just think he’d be really pulled by someone’s eyes if he really liked them

it would be in the small things you know? you probably wouldn’t notice it but someone else would

johnny would notice right away tbh

even if you had one of your friends with you guys and they didn’t know jaehyun that well i’m sure they’d be able to tell he liked you too 

so he’d be obvious to EVERYONE else but you bc it was all in the small things he does for you

i think a lot of thought would go into his confession to you 

he’d probably ask you to hang out like one on one 

and it kind of seems date-y but its not a date you know and then near the end he’d probs walk u home or wherever you had to go 

and his ears would be red and he’d be like uhm i like u a lot and i was wondering if u’d go on a date with me

and ur low key like....that wasn’t a date? if hanging out like THAT isn’t a date then sign me the f up i wanna know ur standards for a date

its taking my entire being to not write bro at the end of every sentence of that for some reason

anywho

hes a goddamn gentleman he’d open all the doors for you

and would guide you with your hand as if you were a royalty , especially if you wore heels to steady you 

would also get chairs for you and he’d do this alllll effortlessly and not breaking a goddamn sweat 

like its just natural for him to be so nice and gentlemanly

bc he’s so good to you i feel like it would make you feel like you werent good enough for him 

and i feel like he’d kind of lose a part of himself too bc he’d be so concentrated on you so you’d definitely need to encourage him to do stuff for himself sometimes 

and then he’d get the hang of it

hes also super nice so i feel like you’d have issues if you’re the type to get jealous easily since hes so friendly and everyone seems to fall in love with him 

and he also doesnt seem like the type to tell anyone off either if they’re flirting with him he just doesn’t seem like that kind of guy

but its also common in relationships to get jealous at something or someone so it’s all about trusting each other, which i hope you do if you’re in a relationship with anyone

but low key i also think he’d adore it if you told him you were a little jealous, he’d make sure to give you a little extra affection and attention

honestly he’d be so smitten with you

he’d literally worship every part of you [sfw wise and nsfw wise winkwink]

but seriously he’d look into your eyes like they’re everything and at your lips like they’re everything and your ears and and if you had freckles he’d look at them like they’re everything too

he just seems like someone who would just drink in the sight of their s/o? like maybe he’s feeling nervous before a performance and he sees you walking towards him 

and suddenly the nerves are all gone, relief has just washed over him because you’re right there in front of him and he’s got this now he can do this because you’re there watching him

something i think about a lot is jaehyun singing to his s/o oh my gaaaad

he’d get embarrassed but would totally sing for you if you asked and he would randomly do it if he knew you liked it which who wouldnt like it jesus

all while his ears turn red because singing like that for someone is so intimate dhsjkml

if you liked singing too he’d totally looove singing duets with you too

if you were into musicals he’d totally indulge with you and sing the songs with you too

if i were his s/o i would make him sing a whole new world to me every goddamn morning ahem

he’d be really affectionate in private but in public not so much

i think he’d accept your affection if you initiated it first in public if it was small things like hand holding and hugs idk he just doesn’t seem like a huge pda guy to me

and again, it would all be in the small things for him, he’d always be beside you or looking at you so he wouldn’t even need pda to show off that you were together in public - people would just be able to tell

i’m taking a few points from the cuddling scenario i did with him but if he did decide to be affectionate in public he would not half-ass it

a hand on the shoulder is not acceptable - his full arm is going around your shoulders and tucking you into his side

same thing for your waist

and the way he holds you (this is mainly in private but also applies to how he holds you in public) its very firm, and he has a strong grip but its also very soft and gentle at the same time

like a hug would be tight and firm but it would be so full of love and gentleness because he wants to hold you close 

okay let’s get into kisses now

my heart is fluttering at the thought

first of all he’d love it when you kiss his nose

his ears would go red and he’d smile and those little whiskers would appear on his face and he’d giggle a little he’d love it sooooooOOoo MUCH

he also seems like the type to smile into all your kisses

like most of his kisses would be smiling kisses

he just hold your face so gently and smiles at you because damn he loves you so much he can’t believe it and just slowly pulls in for a kiss and he still cant stop smiling because he’s kissing the one he loves and they’re kissing him back?! amazing

also can you just hear how he would giggle in his low baritone voice when he’s happy like that and it would just vibrate through and wow what happiness

HE GLOWS WHEN YOU GUYS KISS OKAY

ALSO KISS HIS DIMPLES???? AMAZING HE’D LOVE THAT TOO SO MUCH

something that would KILL him would be if you show him affection and you’re like “i love your eyes” and you kiss his eyelids and “i love your nose” and you kiss his nose and you do this with his ears and his whiskers and his dimples bc he’s smiling so wide UGH

i think he’d personally love kissing your head, especially if you’re shorter than him it would be so easy to just dip down and boop kiss your hair and the side of your head

and i think he’d love just nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck too so a lot of his kisses would go on your jawline/neck/right underneath your ears too

alright folks its about to get slightly nsfw

but i think he’d like to nibble on your neck too

i think he’d get off on marking you like that when it gets heated and esp seeing them later he’d be like oh mY i did that? heehee let’s do it again

i think the only way i could describe his hornyness would be hungry you feel me?

like his eyes would go from bright n loving to just dark and lustful and hungry

LOTS of low groans tbh ohhh boy

he’d still be a gentleman but when boy is hungry he is hungryyy

just think about the whole strong and firm thing i said but still gentle in a way but also strong and firm

and also the whole worshipping thing like he would drink in the sight of you without clothes and touch you like you were everything (bc u are) 

like im talking strong grip on your thighs and they rise up to curve your body oh boy

ahem thats it for this nsfw bit (thinking abt maybe making a nsfw series like this too ohoho)

anyways you guys were done being intimate he’d be so sweet and soft and would love to cuddle you forever and shower you with sweet nothings

he’d be really loving in the morning too he’d crawl on top of you and just tell you how much he loves you and he’d wake up with a smile bc he’d see your beautiful face first thing in the morning

but he also wouldn’t waste time in bed too in the morning he’d get up after showering you with affection and make breakfast or something

and if you’re still not up he’d come back and use his charms to get you out of bed like tickling you or smothering you with affection that makes you giggle yourself awake

would definitely plan a whooole event for your anniversary like a romantic picnic under the stars and would also definitely have a backup plan if the weather wasnt good

he’d love low key couple things like bracelets or rings but nothing too flashy like matching clothes i think

he’d love to just have that piece of jewellery he wears that has a super special meaning to him since you mean so much to him

and one last thing

he’d always laugh at your jokes no matter how dumb they were

and indulge in your weird habits or jokes

he would just love with his entire heart and whoever gets to hold his heart one day is a very lucky person and i hope they treat it with all the love they have because its what he deserves

if you want more be sure to check out the cuddling scenario i did with him too hehe HERE

[je-suis-la-wolf-girl]

Paul Lahote x Reader

Request or Original: Request

can i request a hurt/comfort Paul Lahote x reader fanfiction? the reader starts distancing herself from Paul and the rest of the pack members (Not on purpose but maybe she's just been having a bad time lately and spends more time alone and sleeping than with them) and Paul gets really insecure and confused and wonders what he did and the reader snaps out of it and calms him down and assures him that she still loves him and she starts hanging out with the pack again or whatever ending u want

A/N: I'm sorry for taking so long. I'm in the middle of the semester and I got plenty of homework, projects and studies to do. Sorry for any grammar mistakes, im not fluent. I hope you like it💕

----

It was one of those days where you just wanted to be alone. Why? You didn't know. You just needed it. You felt grumpy and couldn't stand to breath in the same room as anyone you knew. You wanted to relax and not talk to anyone. It was probably because of how much pressure you had from school, but you still didn't know exactly why you didn't want to be around anyone and no, it wasn't because you were on your period.

It was now the third day of your spring break and you hadn't said a single word to your boyfriend, Paul and his friends who were also yours. He kept calling you, but you didn't want to answer it. You just texted him "I'm fine" every time so he wouldn't worry that much. Not that it worked at all, but you didn't know.

You enjoyed being in a peaceful silence just by yourself, binge watching your favorite TV shows. You would be lying if you said you didn't miss Paul and his kisses and warmth, but you needed space. You were always with him and the pack. Paul called you for what felt like the hundredth time today. Your irritated self grabbed your phone from your nightstand and answered with a bitter "Hello?".

On the other side of the line, Paul frowned at how weird you were acting.

"What's wrong with you?", he was so concerned and confused. He was wondering if he did something wrong.

"Nothing. I told you before, I'm fine.", you said through the phone.

Paul wanted to argue, but he knew you were irritated and he knew better to not argue with you when you were like this.

"I'll call you later then.", he simply said.

"M'kay, bye."

Paul looked more confused than ever as his stare was still on his phone.

"Y/N is still mad at you?", Emily softly asked him as she dried a plate with a cloth.

"Yeah, but I don't know what I did wrong. She hasn't talked to me in three freaking days- I haven't seen her in three freaking days.", Paul said. He was angry, but was mostly in pain.

"Well, you just talked to her, so it's only two days.", Quil said earning a glare from Paul.

"Shut up, Quil!", he yelled. "I'm not in the mood for your stupid comments, so if you don't want me to break your neck, shut your mouth."

Quil raised both of his hands in surrender and let out a small ''sorry''.

In the same moment, Jared and Sam came back from patrol. Sam went directly to Emily, like he always does and Jared took and sit on his usual seat.

"What's up?", Jared asked Paul. "Are you mad because you're not getting laid?", he joked, but the joke wasn't well received from Paul. He lifted his fist up to show Jared that he was about to punch him until Sam stopped him.

Paul quickly got out of the house and texted you.

'Is it something I said or did?'

Paul started to try to figure out why you were being distant with him.

'If it's not something that I said or did, then she's hiding something from me. Maybe she wants to break up with me and is trying to find the right way to do it? Maybe she found someone else who would treat her better than me.' For the first time in forever, Paul got insecure. That was something that never happened to him, so he felt really weird about it.

It took you forty-five minutes to answer the message, simply because you hadn't seen it. Once you saw the text, you realized how bad you were treating him and instantly felt bad about it.

'No. Of course not! Come over, please?'

You unclocked your window and let it open for Paul to get in. You impatiently waited for him, pacing around the room, your guilt killing you inside. Twelve minutes later, Paul jumped in and closed the window behind him.

"You know, if you wanted to break up with me, you could've said it.", he said letting his insecurity come out.

You immediately ran up to him and gave him a hug.

"No! No, no, no! I'm sorry babe. I'm really sorry.", you pulled away from the hug, took a hold of his arm and made him sit down on the bed against the headboard. Once he did, you sat down next to him and held his left hand between both of your hands. You looked at him only to notice that he was already looking at you.

"I know I've been acting weird lately and I'm really sorry that I made you feel like it was your fault because it's not.", you paused. "I just really wanted my space. I wanted to be alone for a few days. I was really grumpy the past three days and I didn't want to take it out on you."

"Are you on your-", you cut him off with a slight chuckle.

"No, babe. It's just, sometimes I like to have some space. That's all. I should've told you. I was being selfish and I'm sorry about it."

Paul sighed and looked at his hand that was in between your hands.

"Yeah, you should have. I started imagining the worst situations ever."

You frowned at him and tilted your head.

"Like what?"

It took him a few seconds to answer your question. You could tell it was something hard for him to say.

"I thought you wanted to break up with me because you found someone else who would treat you better than I do."

You felt a pang on your chest. He felt bad about himself; he was insecure and upset because of you. You let go of his hand and sat down on his lap with both for your legs in each side of his tighs. You cupped his cheek, making him look at you.

"Hey, there will never be anyone in this world who would treat me better than you do. Paul, you treat me like a queen. Please, don't forget that I love you more than anything in this world. I love you so much and I feel really bad for making you think otherwise. You're the only one I love and the only one I want and it will always be that way.", you paused and decided to apologize once again. "I'm sorry babe."

Paul sighed in relief and gave you a warm smile, which you obviously returned.

"I love you, Paul."

"I love you too, Y/N."

You kissed him and told him how much you loved him through that kiss. The kiss lasted for a long time and even if you didn't want to, you both had to pull away from it to get some air, but got back at it again once your lungs had enough air. After a few minutes of just kissing and touching each other, you pulled away and started watching a movie as you got into your favorite cuddle position.

"Can you stay the night?", you asked him.

He smiled at you as he kissed your forehead.

"Of course."

You spent the whole night watching movies and cuddling. As much as you loved being alone, you realized that you would rather spend some quality time with your amazing boyfriend and that you would never do what you did ever again. You concluded that if you ever needed your space again, one day would be enough and you would definitely let him know about it.

A/N: I hope you liked it. I didn't want to use the period excuse or the stress from school because these two are always the ones that pop up! And I mean, am I the only one who loves to have me time and not talk to anyone? Anyway, I'm really sorry if it wasn't up to your expectations and if it was, then; happy me hahah