#and certainly true of her from the cult's perspective

[deputy-morgan-malone]

What is your OC’s Role in a Tragic Play?

I was tagged by @corvosattano​, @fourlittleseedlings​, @shellibisshe​ and @aceghosts​ to take this uquiz for my OC/s, thank you!

Not tagging anyone since it’s been a while, but if you see this and would like to do it consider this an open tag, and feel free to tag me in on your results :)

Deputy Morgan Malone (FC5)

misunderstood villain

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

[archduchessgortash]

The fact that Gortash will decide to kill your character if you choose the dialogue option to freely give him the Netherstones is one of my favorite things about him. It either supports his opinion of the player character as his equal, is indicative of rebellion against one of the core principles of his religion, or shows evidence of the Absolute's ability to influence him.

It also suggests that he's not the dom that much of the fandom makes him out to be in their headcanons.

Banite doctrine dictates that subordinates must be subservient to their masters. Subservience in this specific interaction, however, can get your character killed. Worse yet, babygurl is now the enemy. Perhaps, then, they are NOT his subordinate? 🤔

The newly appointed Archduke has generously acknowledged your character as worthy. If he does not see them as his true equal, then he at least sees them as a valuable ally with the potential to be an equal. Your character's submissiveness is an insult to him. How dare they suggest by their willingness to give up the Netherstones that he would permit them to take his own stone without a fight? How dare they be so spineless as to simply do as he says?

If that is who they are, they can roll over and die. He has no use for them.

If he truly sees your character as his subordinate, refusing to allow them to behave as one is directly opposed to his own religious doctrine. Even the Banites' own codes state that the rules of the cult are the only ones that they are obligated to follow. All others are irrelevant. If they are indeed his lesser, Gortash should accept the stones and let your character tag along as cannon fodder, but he doesn't. Is it a subtle rebellion against Bane, or could it be the Absolute exerting her influence to bring the Astral Prism to her directly?

If Gortash is brought to the morphic pool, the Absolute makes it clear that she was in charge, at least from the point of Orin's attack on Durge. She let Gortash and the others believe that they controlled her while she used them to grow more and more powerful. It's fun to think that the genius mastermind was ultimately no more than the Absolute's pawn. How many of his decisions were influenced by her? How much of the Golden Reign of Gortash would even have been Gortash at all? 🤔

The Absolute is as interesting to ponder as the scrunkly Banite himself.

From a personal perspective, the fact that this man expects his allies to stand up to him is one of the reasons that I like him. It also supports my theory of him as a switch, not a dom. Anyone who flat-out submits to him is not worth his time, beyond the time spent to end them, that is. He's a little like Brynhildr. She would only wed one who was without fear.

As popular as top Gortash is, I don't personally see it as particularly in-character for him. The delivery on some of Gortash's more dominant lines is certainly attractive in its tone, so I can totally see why fans would want that. However, in the circumstances in which the lines are spoken in-game, they don't inspire me to fall to my knees. 'You will follow, and you will show due respect' is so very throat-punch worthy.

Ballsy of Gortash to think he can talk like that to someone who has been utterly annihilating his religious hoax... and happens to have recently ganked an immortal paladin.

Plus, the avatar of Myrkul.

And possibly every living Bhaalist in the city, including his high priest and his chosen.

Maybe an undead dragon.

Perhaps even the son of Mephistopheles in his own house.

Gortash wants to say, 'Yes, dear.'

I love that you have to call Gortash's bluff not once but twice, or you're not worth keeping alive. He is surrounded by sycophantic Banites who will do anything he wants because of the way in which their hierarchy is structured. It must get pretty boring after a while. His dislike of Orin isn't the only reason he's so thrilled to see Durge.

I think the last thing he truly wants to hear is a, 'Yes, sir/master.'

[cookierunauprompts]

Honestly, I love the Golden Butter lore, but can we get a bit of attention for Marshmallow Fluff lore? I want to know a bit about her as well..

Anon my beloved thank you for enabling me to talk about marshmallow fluff. Whilst Golden Butter is my silly Marshmallow Fluff is also my silly and I wanna talk about her more.

All information is under the cut due to general Meringue Cult timeline things, aka cannibalism, death, undeath, technically corpse mutilation as well. The first part is also stylized like a little fic!

It begins with death, then rebirth.

It begins with two young witches, two best friends.

It begins with a spell gone wrong, and new bodies made.

Mackenzie and Callie, Callie and Mackenzie.

It’s a simple formula, creating cookies, all you need is the ingredients and a recipe. But to create a vessel for a wayward soul? And one so powerful at that? That was the challenge. Hence, it was made slightly bigger than the mold.

But, one cannot be without the other. Best friends come in pairs, you see? So a second vessel was made, and a soul transfer for two was performed.

One body decorated with marshmallow fluff, the other’s ingredients a mystery.

Are they still Mackenzie and Callie? Are they still Callie and Mackenzie?

Two cookies awake upon a tray, lost and confused to their new perspective of the world. One blames herself for dragging the other into it, and the other is regretting causing this situation with their recklessness. They don new names, ones that feel natural yet in an unnatural way.

Mackenzie and Callie, Marshmallow Fluff Cookie and Mystery Cookie.

They leave Mackenzie’s house, they can’t stay in a place far too big for them after all, and embark into a new world unknown.

Then, they meet Meringue Cookie, a lady of sweetened words and control. She invites them to her village and asks them to introduce themselves.

They introduce themselves as Marshmallow Fluff Cookie, and Mystery Cookie.

When they get to the village, they discover it is not only that. For when Meringue Cookie attempts to steal their magic she fails. After all, a witch's magic cannot be stolen, only given.

A deal is proposed to the two, they cannot help but accept as there's nothing else for them to go to.

And so, as the only true witch of the two, Marshmallow Fluff became a prophet for Meringue Cookie. Meanwhile Mystery Cookie stayed by Marshmallow Fluff's side as an attendant.

But there was something undeniable, a hunger, a sweet tooth, something that Marshmallow Fluff had. And being a cookie certainly didn't help that, neither did being surrounded by cookies.

She can still remember the first time she succumbed to her urge. There was a corpse near her of someone who'd crumbled due to a monster attack, no, she's pretty sure it wasn't actually a monster attack. But did it matter? They were still dead, split clean in two.

She hadn't eaten that morning, when was the last time she did? Surely they'd write off a missing limb from a corpse with no suspicion, right? It had been killed by a monster(?) after all. At least it was headless, at least she didn't have to look into dead eyes as she mutilated someone's crumbled corpse.

But of course, she had to be caught while she was eating. And by none other than Meringue Cookie as well.

Was that event fortunate or unfortunate? Perhaps it was a mix of the two. But it gave Meringue Cookie a whole new level of control over her. It allowed her to take control of her sweet tooth, leading her to indulge, whether she really wanted to or not, in her now sinful desires.

---

Okay, that's most of the lore out of the way so now it's reference time! and these references are only slightly outdated!(the colors are what's outdated, her hairs supposed to be brighter and a bit more redish? idk)

As seen on the left is her cult outfit! I'm thinking about giving it a small update but whatever, and in the middle is her outside of the cult outfit! The one on the right is for an au but I digress.

and now onto some more general meringue cult timeline lore!

Marshmallow Fluff and Mystery cookie didn't turn up until after Moonberry Cookie(former holder of PV's Soul Jam, specifically the third one) left the cult with baby Pure Vanilla. Who is Moonberry Cookie? I'll talk about her later in another post

Surprisingly, Marshmallow Fluff didn't know that Meringue Cookie was Dark Enchantress Cookie... nor who DE was.

Red Velvet Cookie is an orphan taken in by the cult, but Meringue Cookie wasn't actually the one to give him his cake arm, that was actually Mystery Cookie.

The Saint Pastry Order is probably an off-shoot of the Meringue Cult, Meringue Cookie probably has a puppet in charge over there. But it would also be really funny if it was a separate thing.

That's about as much as I can share, for now, but I actually hadn't really thought about the Tower of Sweet Chaos story line. I'll probably rework some things later down the line anyways.

ah, right, one more thing. I figured out how Meringue Cookie gets "defeated" in the Meringue Cult timeline. Basically, Marshmallow Fluff kinda dies but in the process seals Meringue Cookie away like the Witches did with the beasts, BUT she also goes into one of the new fruits upon this tree seal thing and slowly begins to rebuild her cookie body so it can better handle her power. But she also does that completely unconsciously so when the fruit breaks like, a month later, she has no idea why she's on this desecrated battlefield or why she's basically naked. (unfortunately you don't get clothes when you get reborn.)

At least she gets found by Shadow Milk, which is a yippee moment? who knows. I'll probably write out the scene eventually

[blackjackkent]

OK, so, based on the quest priority list that I wrote out last night, my next step is going to find Minsc as soon as possible. Which means for now I am going to forego a full exploration of Wyrm's Rock in favor of heading straight into the Lower City and beelining for Jaheira's quest to rescue him.

The Lower City is... very loud. Given that Hector was pretty overstimulated by Rivington and the South Span, I can only imagine that he is even more overwhelmed by being inside the city proper, where there are so many people in every direction, everyone seems upset about something, and EVERYONE is talking at once.

It's hard to get a very representative screenshot that accurately reflects just how much seems to be happening at once. It's actually a little overwhelming from a player perspective also.

We're going to try not to get too sidetracked here until we've done the main priority quests mentioned in my last liveblog post, but we will talk to everyone along the way

Now that we've reached the Lower City, it's time to talk to Jaheira and form a more coherent plan:

"A true pleasure, to watch you tell the Archduke exactly where to put his alliance. One cannot embrace a viper - only get entangled by it. And we learned something. One Chosen thinks to send us against the other, while they sit safe behind their defenses."

"Good. Ketheric thought he was safe too."

I love her so much. <3

"Have you thought any more about how we might find Minsc?"

"I have. And while I do not love my conclusion, that does nothing to change it. The Harpers are the city's best information network. With them out of action, we shall have to fall back on second-best. Nine-Fingers Keene."

Narrator: [HISTORY] A name known and feared throughout the city's underworld. The mysterious Keene runs the Guild, which in turn runs every criminal enterprise in the city.

As occasionally happens, Hector passes this history check because he is generally good at history, but I can't imagine where he actually learned this information. XD

We have actually heard about Nine-Fingers before though; some of Keene's people were fighting against agents of the Stone Lord (an interloper into the Baldurian underworld backed by the Absolute cult) and we took their side to help fight the Absolutists off. We were already planning to follow up with them to look into the Stone Lord's activities, so going to the Guildhall is now two birds with one stone.

We have the option to chastise Jaheira (in several different ways) for being willing to associate with thieves. And certainly Hector is not thrilled with the idea (especially after some conversations he's had with Karlach on the subject); given how quintessentially honest he is, hanging out with criminals is not necessarily his cup of tea.

But their circumstances have demanded strange bedfellows for a while, and he trusts Jaheira's judgment.

(This is also fun for a headcanonical reason, since Caden was a thief in my BG1/BG2 playthroughs. He wasn't a very GOOD thief and quickly learned that there was a big difference between playful pickpocketing people for fun in Candlekeep and the real world's guilds of robbery and murder, and eventually multiclassed away from his roots into cleric/monk territory because of Rasaad - but nevertheless he and Jaheira and company did spend quite a lot of time in thief guildhalls. So this is not unfamiliar territory for Jaheira in this worldstate. :D )

"She is no one to be trifled with," Hector says, folding his arms thoughtfully.

"Nor are we," Jaheira points out with a slight smile. "But I trust she knows the value of collaboration, especially in times like these." A slight pause. "How hospitable she will be to a Harper that comes begging to her Guildhall..." She gives a low, hoarse laugh. "We will find out. Perhaps I will let you do the talking."

Hector and his -1 modifier to charisma are at your service, Jaheira. ;)

[katatonicimpression]

but what if i did just saltily rant about the umbrella academy for a bit?

i'm gonna try to keep this in the realm of more professional/technical criticism but lets be real it's gonna get petty

Overall Point 1: The Apocalypse, Timelimes and Themes

So.. what is a series where the world ends every season about? What are we supposed to take from that? They hop into different timelines, with different realities and norms and try to adjust to them, then everything goes to shit.

The theme that the show lands on, certainly in this season, is basically about ego-death. It's about accepting your true insigificance in an infinate universe, accepting your own death, non existance and oblivion. It's accepting the destruction of your life, family and relationships, because you as an individual don't matter.

This is fine. Season 3 ended with everyone aside from Allison being "let's just die I guess.", which was weaker. Having them sacrifice themselves to actually save people carries more weight, so I guess we're actually at an improvement.

But yes, this is fine. It's a true beat. We are mortal specks of dust in an infinite void. We don't matter. The self is an illusion.

Also, 8 people never existing in order to save billions from torment is completely reasonable (even if logically it should be like 40-something of them). It's fine. It's a worthy theme. We'll get back to this.

Overall Point 2: New Season, New Me

One thing that's always irked me about this show is the way that each season has always given their characters entirely new arcs and new shit to deal with. From a writing perspective, this is obviously a good decision. From a fan perspective, it's annoying.

Things from previous seasons that felt undeveloped or unresolved remain that way. If you don't like the new direction they've taken a character, you're just stuck with it. It's annoying. They did it every time and it was annoying every time. Anyway, I liked seasons 1 and 3, and not the others for this exact reason.

Individual Character Breakdowns:

Luther - I liked him fine in this. Was it weird that Sloane's evaporation from the timeline was mentioned a few times but there was no shape or arc to this? Yes. We begin with him being chipper but with a sad life, and end with him looking kind of jealous of Diego's life but then continuing to be chipper and accepting his non-existence. No arc, but at least he wasn't an annoying presence.

Diego - First thing to mention here is why were there at least 2 lines and a visual gag about him supposedly putting on weight then a shirtless scene where he has insane dehydration abs? Bizzare. Was this supposed to be a joke then the punchline got cut? Diego's arc, that we can summise from his conversation with that CIA guy, is that he's taking his family for granted. Also he's jealous and upset over Lila. This is resolved by him apologising to her (?) and seemingly forgiving her but only right before they all die. Also he loses his family.. because he no longer exists. This is not a good arc. And then there's Lila herself, who we'll get to later.

Allison - There was a slight sense in this season that the writers realised that they had turned a lot of the fandom against Allison last season. Like, it felt like they were trying to smooth that over specifically. Or maybe not. Either way the fandom villification of Allison was just racist. She's not worse than the others, she's not even as bad as most of them. May I remind you of all the murders and the sex cult? Speaking of the latter, Allison's job this season is to babysit Klaus and be concerned for him. Such arc. Much rewarding. Also, in S3 she was willing to reboot the timeline in order to preserve her daughter's existence, in S4 she's willing to cease existing and therefore have no daughter. That's a change, but not an arc.

Klaus - Klaus goes from running a sex cult in S2 to being sex-trafficked in S4. In an over-the-top, locked up in a cell, Taken-style way. Despite starting this escapade literally chained to the ceiling, he's surprised when he doesn't get paid. Urgh. Anyway, nothing Klaus did in this season mattered, I would've scrapped all of it. He has this pointless kidnapping subplot that seems to exist only as a) something to cut away to to break up the rest of it and b) a reason why the guy who spend years hanging out with ghost!ben isn't there during the reveal of how he died. Anyway, I guess Klaus' arc was that at some point after s3 he got back into drugs and became indebted to this biker guy, and then got sober and became obsessed with his own mortality, then he's forcibly given his powers back and is mad about it but then gets over it then accepts his own non-existence because literally what matters at this point? I honestly found him annoying at every point in this season, more so than s2 and I hated what they did with him in s2. What a waste of a character.

Five - Hot take, but I think that Five had the most realised arc this season. In S3, he has his moment of giving up. He's not going to try to save the world anymore, a thing he's been doing for decades. He goes back and forth a bit, but ends S3 where everyone aside from Allison does: willing to die and letting everything collapse. This time, he ends up still willing to self sacrifice, but this time it's for something. He knows it will save people. That is growth. And, yeah I'll say it, the Lila subplot makes sense for him. He goes from letting the apocalypse happen to preventing it by surrendering his own existence, and what's a better test case for that by showing him a version of the apocalypse that he could live with? He's accustomed living in a wasteland, and this time he's not alone. It's a temptation for his character, the choice he shouldn't make. It does the job of showing us what he wants, a version of him that could be content... but that content-ness comes at the expense of other people (Lila's happiness, and the population of the planet's lives respectively). And, obviously he chooses the right thing in the end, but it's a valid storytelling technique. So, fine. Yup. Arc achieved... I'll get to Lila later.

Ben - holy shit guys I'm so annoyed with this. So, for umbrella ben we get the explanation of his death and what "the jennifer incident" was and eh it's just not interesting. With sparrow ben, we get two episodes of him being fun and bitchy and then his consumed by a desire to fuse with Jennifer and become the blob. It's not just because my guy died although yes I am salty. It's that his character motivation is that his brain is taken over by external forces for most of the season. He's not acting according to his own desires, he's just driven by blob-lust: a magnetism that's portrayed as being physically inevitable.

So, the only ben arc we get is that he storms away from these fuckers in a huff at the end of s3, but apparently does stay in touch, does some financial fraud, goes to prison, sneakily takes the marigold and drugs everybody because he wants his powers back. So far this is.. fine? His actions with the marigold make sense, being a superhero was a big part of his identity, it gave him purpose and made him feel important and strong. So fine. Then he storms off in a huff again and meets Jennifer at which point none of his actions are about him, they're about the laws of sci-fi physics.

I hate this. I really thought we were gonna get a storyline where ben is inadvertantly ending the world with, like, an internal journey and character moments but no. Anyway, ben doesn't accept his own non-existence. He's dies in pain consumed by a blob. While we're here, poor Jennifer. What a thankless role that was.

Viktor - Viktor is similar to Luther to me in this season, in that he also didn't really have an arc but wasn't really doing anything objectionable either. I guess he goes from avoiding his family because they're annoying, to being happy to die together? Eh. He tried to go to this birthday party in the first episode, any hangups he had about hanging out with them, he got over on the drive down lol. He does get a moment of getting to yell at Reginald, which is satisfying even if it's technically not the same guy. Viktor mainly serves as the guy who is the most on it at the end in terms of dealing with this benjenblob situation. It doesn't work. Oh well, I guess he accepts his non-existence.

The Gaggle of Children and Extended Family - Just before we get to Lila, I feel I need to emphasise that if Diego and Lila and Allison don't exist, their kids don't exist. Even if kids that look like them exist (which doesn't make sense but hey), those children do not have them as parents, do not know them, have completely different lives and are different people. Saving the kids kind of feels like an empty meaningless gesture.... which is weird. That's weird.

Lila - So, I'm going to continue to be as charitable as I can to this five/lila romance subplot... but it is just weird and annoying, right? Right? It doesn't help that the season is so short (only 6 episodes) and 7 years of their situation is crammed into barely any screen time. We then get flashbacks in episode 6 to the events of episode 5. It's very weird-feeling.

Lila's deal this season is that she's frustrated and overwhelmed with parenthood (sidenote: the fact that there are four other adults in this household who seamlessly take over 2 days worth of childcare for Diego and Lila without even being asked kind of undermines the idea that Lila is swamped.. but ok she's emotionally overwhelmed). She first acts out by doing a bunch of spying/investigating behind his back, then by going off with five to investigate the subway station and also lying to Diego about that. Then she has her seven years with Five, during which at some point she relaxes into a routine and starts some kind of physical relationship with him, then the second she finds out there's a way back, she immediate drops everything to go home. Because of course she does, she has a family.

I think you could argue that Lila is a character for whom an ego-death storyline suits... kinda? She's introduced as this free agent who, like five, has existed outside of time for years. She did see people who weren't time travellers as npcs to some extent, and acted above it all. So, to go to this place where she's willing to sacrifice herself to save the normies, to save the planet, could have made sense for her.

BUT

That's clearly no longer the case for her character at the beginning of s4. She's got a family. Her parents are back, she has children, she has a life. She absolutely sees the normies as being as worthy of saving as herself, as real and meaningful as anyone. Because obviously. This is why she, obviously, immediately goes home when she knows how to. Because why the hell wouldnt she? So, all of this is not an arc, it's just a weird little cul-de-sac.

I guess you could say it's also her test case? A free, self-directed future to contrast with her humdrum home life? But I think it fails at that simply because it's not free or self-directed, it's more domesticity but with fewer people.

So her remaining arc is actually the same as Diego's. She's taking her family for granted and wants to do fun superhero stuff, but misses her kids and her husband. And then she accepts her own non-existence and the loss of her children.. That seems... a little confused. At least Lila got to have an actual serious emotional moment about it, every else just looked kind of bored.

So, I'll just spell it out. I don't think that arcs about taking your family for granted, about loving your children and your siblings and caring for them, are compatible with this end beat of deleting your selves and all your relationships from existence. At least, not in the way that it's played. It feels weird and empty.

Overall Point 3: Self-Actualisation and Arguing

Midnight Mass was a Netflix mini series from 2021 about vampires. It's fun. I liked it. Anyway, it ends on a really strong monologue about death acceptance. It manages to thread the needle between human lives and relationships having meaning and this existential ego-death beat. So, it is possible, but it would require more thought. I kind of suspect this show isn't really deep enough to pull this off.

Also, when it comes to unhappy happy endings, which s4 of TUA seems to be aiming for, there are other examples. Being Human (the original, not the american one) ends on this note of implying that the heroes completely failed to save the world, they just don't realise it yet. This was actually more similar to where I was expecting TUA to go, with a happy-seeming ending and then another apocalypse tease. Like "here we go again" nudge nudge wink wink roll credits. Why is this relevant?

So, the family thing is the first reason I think the ego-death thing is an odd fit, the second reason is that ego and personal identity and The Self are important to the text of this show. Self-actualisation feels like a big deal. We're introduced to these characters who are miserable and dysfuntional because of their upbringing, but are able to become more whole together. And their each constantly seeking out their own happiness, striving for it. But in this season those goals are ultimately pointless. They've achieve mediocre lives, which are crumbled by the narrative and then they decide not to exist anymore.

This makes it sound like the show is being deliberately pessimistic, like it's got a cynical view on life and progress and is just saying "nah, doesn't matter" to all of that. But no. If it was doing that, I'd respect it more because that is a strong narrative direction. No, in reality this seems unintentional. It seems like they were writing more conventional self-actualisation and caring about your family narratives and then slapped this "accept your non-existence" thing on top of it and it only really fits for one character and even then it's done messily.

This other thing that's frustrating about being in the audience for this show is how much of the conflict is derrived from characters not talking to each other. Now, let's be clear, this is the point. It's about their dysfuntion. But, it's annoying. And you, as an audience member, are really aware of it and how frustrating it is. You see five and lila casually lie to diego about the magical timetravel subway and are like "stop that. it's annoying." You see ben hide his zombie bite blob rash and think "stop that. it's annoying." You see klaus lie to allison and steal from allison and cover allison's house in bubble wrap and you think "stop that. it's annoying." And because you're a savvy audience member, you assume that this is an intentional feature of every season of this show, and that the writers are aware of it, and are going to do something with it.

One obvious way for this series to end would be having the siblings improve on their communication skills and teamwork and become able to function better as a family (i.e. "look how far we've come") and finally end the apocalypse that way. To save the world they must first save themselves etc. But no. They come together at the end right only when shits really hitting the fan the same way they have every single season. No actual progress.

(There is this minor point that coming together and working as a well-oiled machine is exactly what reginald wanted for them, and maybe there's some stuff to navigate there, but i think it's workable)

I actually think the ending should have been a mixture of this and the being human thing. Like, they solve the current problem, fix the immediate apocalypse and are dumped in a situation where there's another catastrophe and it's all "here we go again" but this time, they're a little bit better, a little bit closer to fine. And it ends with hope. Maybe they'll fail again this time too, but some day they won't.

Overall Point 4: Don't Date. Dating is the Mind-Killer.

Can we talk about how much S4 hates romantic love???

Sloane is gone, disappeared, doesn't exist anymore. Luther is kind of sad about it but not very sad. Diego and Lila go from being all over each other last season to resenting each other. Allison has lost both Claire's dad and her 60s husband and the hypothetical combination of both teased last season - just entirely avsent and iirc not even mentioned. Viktor starts the season getting dumped, with the implication that this has happened a few times since he moved to Canada.

Ben and Jennifer's love is portrayed as an illusion produced by the laws of sci fi physics. It's destructive and disgusting and kills them both.

Abigail and Reginald sort of love each other but even then she get's a bunch of jibes in at him when she's wearing Gene's face. Again, there's resentment.

Five seems to develop genuine feelings for Lila but it's not clear how much of that is just because she's there. And he manipulates and lies to her. Lila is willing to have a relationship with him but again, it seems to because he's there and it's clear he's not a priority for her. Also didn't he kill her parents?

Even Gene and Jean, who are the only couple in this season who seem genuinely in love, have trouble then end terribly.

Even the seance couple turned out to actually hate each other!

And it's not even strictly the romance, even the friendships take a hit? Viktor and Allison specifically have a "we're not friends" conversation, which i'm sorry but standing next to each other while you die is not a meaningful counterpoint to. Ben and Klaus hardly interact at all, despite everything that happened between them last season. Diego and Luther got a bonding moment, as did Lila and Allison. The rest of it felt soo flat.

This feels like such a profound contrast with the previous season, which had a wedding as the centrepiece. Did the show runner just go through a bad breakup or something? Why is romantic love portrayed as meaningless and as a bad thing in this season? I don't get it. It's weird.

Overall Point 5: Dance

We didn't get a single group dance number. A little dance with Jean and Gene and that was it. What the fuck guys.

Conclusion

I enjoyed the first episode?? I like all the crochet?

Yeah I just struggled to get behind this season at all, and the more I think about it the less the stuff I liked is able to shine through past the annoying stuff. I had managed to get myself hyped for this season. I was expecting a ben arc, which would have been great. But no. They blobified my fave and for what.

[mass-effect-galaxy]

So, my first truly completed playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3 ended with the second-worst ending: the Dark Urge becoming the Absolute in her own name. The worst ending would be to become the Absolute in Bhaal's name.

After two abandoned playthroughs with this character (one as a full lunatic, the other totally good guy fighting his dark urges) I gave that character a few more thoughts beforehand:

I think the Druge is one of those characters that don't deserve a redemption arc. So, in the end, there shouldn't be everything good and the Druge is riding into the sunset with their lover. This character simply has been (and from my perspective, still is) way too evil for that to be a plausible conclusion of this story.

If the Druge were able to fight and overcome the urges during the events of the game, there is no reason they couldn't have done so before. It just was more convenient to not do so. Embracing the inheritance of Bhaal brought the Durge the admiration of the Bhaalist and placed them on top of that cult. This also brought the Druge into a position where they could initiate the coups of the Absolute with the other two chosen. If that involved the slaughter of innocents and reveling in blood up to necrophily, so be it.

While traveling with a group of companions, those urges are more of a hindrance because those people certainly have other standards of "proper conduct" than a bunch of Bhaalists. So, the Druge is suppressing those urges. These are anyways Bhaal's needs, not hers.

From my point of view, the Druge is more a master of deception than a master of killing. You have to learn that trait from childhood if your divine inheritance causes you to commit acts of horrific violence, often against your will. Either that or you become a complete lunatic, like Orin.

Having established that outline for this character, I made sure I betrayed as many people as possible in this playthrough:

I hid Alfira's body and never talked with anyone about my urges.

I betrayed the Tieflings to get on Minthara's good side.

I used Minthara to get me into Moonrise.

I killed my former goblin allies painfully to pretend to be a true disciple of the Absolute

I used that trust to free Minthara.

I let Astarion drink my blood to gain his loyalty and then sold him for a potion.

I talked Shadowheart into killing Nightsong to have Isobel die en passant and appease Seceleritas Fel that way.

I convinced Shadowheart to kill her parents and never told her later what she did to get the Dark Justiciars on my side.

I pretended not to be interested in the Orphic Hammer only to steal it later from Raphael.

I talked Yurgir into betraying Raphael, then sacrificed him in the final battle.

I cheated on Minthara with Harleep and a foursome with the Drow twins and Astarion.

I allied with Gortash to be free of his Steelwatch while betraying him with a pact with Orin to have my back free to destroy the Steelwatch.

I constantly ensured the Emperor of my undying loyalty while already plotting to free Orpheus.

I killed Valeria without hesitation to get into the Temple of Bhaal the easy way.

I told Orin that Sarevok was boasting about being her father and making fun of her - causing Bhaal to kill Orin himself and turn her into a Slayer.

I refused Bhaal to get rid of his tainted blood.

I then swindled immortality out of Jergal by pretending to be the good guy from now on.

I betrayed the Emperor to free Orpheus so I could get Githyanki help.

I then talked Orpheus into becoming Ilithid so that he would be of no use as an opposition against the coming Absolute Empire.

I finally killed Orpheus to gain control over the Absolute and became a deity in my own name.

[bestworstcase]

Your thoughts on the Lost Fable and interpretation of Salem and Ozma's relation to the narrative also ended up making me think of one other little detail:

It's called the Lost FABLE. Not the lost History, or lost Truth.

FABLE. As in a FANTASY. A FAIRY TALE.

It was right there all along.

And frankly recalling how Ozma's original question that drove him to despair was "How can I destroy Salem?", and how we all speculated that it meant that there was a different way to beat her...

But in truth, it was also arguably showing us one of the core rules of the Relic Djinn:

You only get what you SPECIFICALLY asked for.

And that only reinforces the possibility that what we saw of the Lost Fable was being filtered through the perspective of what Ruby asked:

"What is Ozpin hiding?" -> "What details did he hide, from HIS perspective with all of HIS biases and expectations?"

And Jinn can't give the full details because that wasn't specified in the questions she was asked.

...I kinda wonder if things would have been different if the question was "What is the Truth about Salem?"

precisely. she literally begins with “once upon a time.”

and of course—think about how ozpin thinks, in general. how he perceives the world and processes the things that happen to him. he is consumed by fairytales and deeply preoccupied with archetype and symbolism and narrative. when he invites pyrrha into his conspiracy he leads by asking “what’s your favorite fairytale?” and guiding her toward the one he intends to use to ease her into the (partial) truth; when qrow fills RNJR in on the reality of the situation as he understands it, he does the same thing, and when he tells ruby about the magic in her silver eyes he starts by talking about legends of silver-eyed warriors. the conflation of real history with fairytale is the ideological bedrock of the huntsmen cult because ozma relies on fairytales to make sense of his own existence.

“the girl in the tower” is an actual in-universe fairytale that ozma wrote at some point to immortalize the tiny sliver of the past when he got to be truly happy.

and if ozpin had decided to share his true past with team rwby, he would have started with the girl in the tower—same as he started with the story of the seasons when he revealed the maidens to pyrrha—so when ruby asks “what is ozpin hiding from us?”, jinn starts with the girl in the tower too.

it’s notable, too, that ozpin doesn’t learn any new information in the lost fable. because there are certainly things he doesn’t know—salem has been alive in the neighborhood of a couple hundred million years, it simply isn’t POSSIBLE that she could have told ozma every important thing she experienced in that time even if she wanted to—so if jinn had really shown them everything, ozpin would have doubtless had a revelation or two himself (especially since she kept going after the murderdivorce—at which point salem herself vanishes from the narrative, leaving only ozma’s assumptions about her behind; that would…not have happened if jinn were telling the whole story). but he didn’t. because jinn showed the kids everything he knew and believed and chose to keep secret.

(you know how mockingly she asks oscar if he has a question for her in V8…? there is absolutely something jinn knows that ozma doesn’t and i bet she’s been trying to goad him into asking for centuries.)

[re-bee-key]

Season 9 of Hermitcraft is a scifi fantasy anime

and Im gonna prove it. Really long ramble about the theme for this season and looking at it from a world building perspective. Im gonna look at s9 through the lens of it being a scripted show.

First, we must look at season 8. It was also a scifi fantasy. But focused more on scifi with the moon plot. The hermits having crashed landed on the planet and started colonizing it as their own for survival. But then tragedy struck, and they had to evacuate as the moon came crashing down. Destroying the world they had tried to make their home.

Now season 9. Those same hermits crash land on a new planet. Uniting together to survive, but soon enough all separate to start their lives.

(Also, I would like to propose my headcanon that some of the Hermits came from this planet before. That season 8 was a group from this planet that wanted to go colonize the stars. But it messed up, so now they are back home.)

As they explore the land, they discover ancient ruins and cities and come across the races of people who already inhabit the planet.

Bdubs builds represent the ancient past. Long ago was a might race that build grand structures and games. But something happened so all that remains are ruins. But! People have taken over the ruins, repurposing them, making a life in the rubble. Its low tech scrounger scifi. The people living here have to make the most of what little they have. Bdubs himself is a god who has lived here to see all of history. He once had a moon cult in his name. For he is the god of dreams, represented by moons and moss.

He believed being a god should give him a divine right to crown a king. But we saw how well that turned out.

Tango also represents the past. His dark ice castle maze looking ancient and magical. Tango did the ancient ogre cave last season as well. So Im headcanoning that his character is very old as well. Maybe not a god, but certainly an immortal with strong magic. His immortality making him bored and want to create games and prizes for people.

With Tango and many of the others, we see redstone as a sort of tech magic.

Xisuma is also ancient. A bone mage from the ancient times. Living in the skeleton of a long dead elder god. Strong in the ways of redstone tech magic. His immortality has made him want a simple life, one out of conflict and just doing things for fun. His builds are mostly tech machines, but he his tower and bones can represent the "ancient" builds.

Grian also represents the past. And time as a concept. His builds this season all showcase changes in time. Changes in building styles. He represents how the civilizations of the planet would once have lived like. The different stages of the Entity. How rift technology has affected people. His character also represents rifts in time. Not showing up all the time. But when he does its during the big impact parts of history. Matching his watcher lore. I headcanon that his Life series is a virtual reality helmet game he designs and him and his friends all play and broadcast online.

Gem represents the elves. Elves are immortal ,but she is very young. And the newly appointed Empress. Her guardian farm shows and base location show that the Elves have a strong connection and ownership to the Sea.

Scar is also an elf. A very old elf. The first true business tycoon among his people. First, he created the cookie empire. Then, the shipping empire. Elves having ownership of the ocean means he had a full monopoly of shipping trades. Making him incredibly wealthy. He traveled to s8 because he wanted to try on another planet. And did very well with his traveling salemen gig. But coming home, he decided to build a new empire. A media empire. Scarland is his new venture. Along with using his immortality to be a superhero. As his alter ego Hotman. (He also, conviently, makes money off the sales of Hotguy movies and merch.)

Impulse, of course, represents the dwarves. Who have long lived below the surface. In (somewhat) harmony with the elves. The dwarves are also masters at redstone tech magic and Impulse himself is a very successful business man. Owning what is essentially dwarven Walmart.

Pearl represents aliens. Her build is of an alien race who have at some point started colonizing the planet. Terraforming it as they go. Changing the landscape to match the planet they left behind. Pearl's character herself is an undercover agent researching the aliens. Her alter ego is a friendly trash lady. (Since Pearl is represented as moths and the moon. I headcanon she is actually part of the alien race. She just doesn't know it yet herself. She glamored herself to look human but lost her memory. She isn't just any alien, tho. She is also a goddess. But while Bdubs is the god of this planet. She is the god of another (Empires, of course).

In lore, I imagine that the Elves and Dwarves have been on edge with the aliens. And they have a shaky alliance. The aliens now having terrformed so much that they are right on each others doorsteps.

Cleo represents some Atlantean race. I dont know if it's in ruins now or still exists. She, of course, is a gorgan and, on the more fantasy side of the server.

Rendog and Doc both represent corporations who have who have come from space to colonize.

Doc with his world eater and mega farms. He is a scientist who left the Octogan corp and is now trying to kickstart his own venture. His goal is to make everything solarpunk. And besides tearing a literal whole out of the earth, try to be as eco-friendly as possible. His tomato garden being his prized joy.

Rendog has started GIGACORP. And is supposed to be starting up that base of operations. But he got distracted for a while by trying to control the economy and be king. But now that Thats over, he can focus on expanding for Gigacorp.

I imagine, in lore, that the new corps would have a hard time fitting in. People being uncomfortable with outsiders coming in and taking over so much land so quickly.

Keralis represents humans who fell from the stars. His base ties in so nicely to Bdubs. Because they both show humans scrounging for resources to stay afloat. Humans arnt from here, but they are trying to coexist best they can.

Mumbo is a human. But he's more like a man out of time. His character keeps popping in and out of reality and is very disjointed from the storyline. Its like he i did some technology and just poofed away and back on accident.

Zedaph is also human. He is the scientist from last season. Who has enough money that he can now live his life as an eccentric collector.

The end of the Rendog King arc means a new era for the world. It was one that was under unfair rule. The economy in shambles. But now that things are back to normal, life is coming back to the server.

In the form of games!

It had to be noted how impactful Beef's card game has been. So many people love it. And its really kickstarted activity again. People are collabing again!

So, in lore, Beef represents a new card game that is sweeping the world. Possibly a Yugio style one, in terms of scale and popularity, at least. Turning our sci-fi anime into a card game anime!

Etho is building a race track. Adding to the in-world ferver with games. His character fell to the planet in his escape shuttle later than everyone else. But his is now thriving, making a road system and race tracks. (And Bdubs and him might make another horse race track.)

Scar had the charity event, of course. Which also has added many games to the server. And Bdubs has a few games out in the wild. Xisuma has the bone cave elytra challenge. And Cub's Total Choas. Lots of games this season!

So! Thats where the current season sits. I know I missed a lot of people. But I dont watch everyone and some people dont play as often so its harder to say what their place in the story is. Like Cub. I think he also represents humans scrounging and building among ruins. But I dont watch his eps as often.

Anywho. Thats my rundown and lore analysis for season 9! Its pretty exciting all put together. I can totally picture how cool a cartoon set in this world would be. (Makes me want to write a story set in this world.)

What do y'all think?

[hamliet]

Bird Guy and Bird Stans and Twice Over

Thoughts on Spoilers, how Hawks is actually one of my faves, and more below.

So, I’m not actually that bothered by Lady Nagant’s possible/probable death--it bothers me on a principles level (the misogyny is real), but not so much in a character sense, since any character introduced this late, as I said previously, is almost certainly a plot device and not a character.

What bothers me most is Hawks being able to sweep in and save her. I also don’t mind this in principle, but I mind it from a character perspective.

Hawks did not save Twice, and he blatantly, textually, did not try everything he could to save him. Not only is Hawks framed as the villain in Twice’s death, but Horikoshi put such emphasis on Twice’s death as a turning point that he drew an entire volume cover for it. Lady Nagant’s backstory calls Hawks out on this, on killing victims on the basis of what they might do. So you’d think Twice’s death would matter.

Honestly, what is the point of Twice dying then? To show us war sucks? What was Midnight’s death for, then, if not that, and her death kind of works much better because she was a symbol of security for the kids more than a character?

To show us moral complexity and impossible choices in impossible situations? When has BNHA ever really shown us true moral grayness, gritty difficult choices? It hasn’t. No one thinks it has. Thus, this answer doesn’t fit, unless you think the ending will be Deku, Shouto, and Uraraka putting down Shigaraki, Dabi, and Toga. While I’m sure there will be moments where they fear they have to do precisely this, Hawks’ answer is not supposed to be the right one, or else why isn’t he the main character? and why did he do this in the middle of the story? To say that Hawks showed great compassion in trying to “save” Twice in a way that would probably have killed the rest of the people Hawks considered family is textually unsupported, unless you also think this is what Deku, Shouto, and Ochaco will do, and even then, you have to answer why it happened in the middle of the story.

Even if moral grayness was intended to be the case, you have to address it. You can’t just have it handwaved away. What is the point of the moral grayness, then? We have to see how Hawks got from “I need to put him down” to “I want to become like Twice” if we’re supposed to take it at face value. Again, last chapter, with Lady Nagant’s backstory, would suggest we aren’t supposed to. This chapter suggests we are. I’m reminded of the Enji whiplash days in that I wish Horikoshi would just commit to one point of view so I can either handwave Hawks’ writing away or anticipate it again. Stop trying to satisfy everyone and just tell the story. (Next chapter might clear things up, but you can still criticize writing as is in a weekly manga, and I can and will.)

The thing is? I actually realllly like Hawks. He’s the character I relate to most in the manga. It’s not like I was brought up in a system wherein I was trained to do whatever they said regardless of how I felt about it morally because oh wait, yes I was (I grew up in a religious fundamentalist cult-like place, trained to be a good soldier of Christ). I empathize with Hawks a tremendous amount, with his dissociative idolizing of people he hurts even.

In some ways the fandom’s response vs. my own feelings are eerily reminiscent of the response to “Kaneki”  in the last quarter of Tokyo Ghoul:re, which culminated in me getting death threats for years afterwards. Kaneki was the character I related most to, but once the narrative stopped calling him out, stopped challenging him to grow and started handing breaks to him that it never gave the other characters, I was far more critical of his writing (even if I related most to him, never hated him, and pretty much constantly predicted a happy ending for him). However, fans deluged me with hate and bullying for months to years after the manga ended. It was actually traumatizing. I had frequent panic attacks.

The vicious, vitriolic responses to any criticism of Hawks’ writing and the rabid way his fans defend him makes me fear for my wellbeing online. But it’s almost impossible for me to talk about the story and not talk about Hawks, because he’s been one of the most compelling characters up until recently, and he is still the character I see myself in the most. I stand by the idea that Hawks should fall, but I’ve also never once thought Hawks would die in any way other than heroically, if he dies at all.

Unlike with TGre, though, I don’t have uber-high expectations of the writing quality, and my main investment is still the villains being saved, which I’m 0% worried about. I also think BNHA will hit its final theme (“heroes save”), so I don’t see myself disliking the overall story. I just wish it was better, because the theme is even stronger if y’know, you reinforce that Twice’s life matters, and Hawks’ character is better if you pay off the foreshadowing.

[hereticalmother]

✝ PARALLELS BETWEEN VAL AND BLAKE ✝

[personals can reblog! This is general game analysis and not RP specific.]

Outlast 2 makes it very clear that there are parallels between Blake's past abuser, Father Loutermilch, and his current abuser, Val. But, what I find more interesting are the parallels between Blake himself and Val. 

She's symbolic of Blake's past trauma, but not only of Loutermilch; she's simultaneously Loutermilch, Blake himself, and Blake's guilt and self loathing as a result of his abuse. She's symbolic of every person involved and of the emotions Blake felt both at the time and now looking back on it. 

I think a large part of what makes her such an effective antagonist to Blake is how much she mirrors him. Val is what Blake could've turned into, and what Loutermilch tried to convince him that he was. 

[continued under the cut]

✝ BLAKE AND VAL'S HISTORY ✝

Blake and Val are both very driven by their past trauma, which, in both cases, stems from being groomed by religious leaders. 

Blake saw his teacher, Father Loutermilch, murder his childhood best friend, Jessica, after months (if not years) of sexual abuse. Val was ordered by the leader of the cult she had been raised in to murder her adopted children. 

I think it's easy for people to say that Blake witnessed a murder while Val committed a murder, but Val's situation isn't so black and white. Val does a lot of bad things that are absolutely her own choice, but I don't think the deaths of her children can be included. She truly had no other choice. She was forced. Her life was at stake, as were the lives of her other children.

She could kill them quickly and as painlessly as she could, continue taking care of her living children despite the fear that she may be ordered to kill them next, or refuse. Refusal would mean someone else would kill them, not quickly, not painlessly, and that she would no longer be around to care for the others (who may be killed prematurely as a result of that, or even killed just to punish her.) There was no option that could save their lives. 

In both cases, their trauma revolved around the death of a child/loved one at the hands of a religious leader that they had always been taught to trust. Following the deaths, they were made to believe that they were responsible for these deaths and that they were perverse, sinful, people for their involvement. 

✝ DIFFERENCES ✝

This brings us to the differences in their situations. Blake was a child, and knew only to trust teachers. He had options, to tell his parents, to tell the police, but was made to believe that he didn't; that no one would believe him, that, if anyone found out, he would get in trouble rather than Loutermilch.

Val was an adult (for the worst of her trauma; though, arguably, her upbringing was traumatic as well.) But, she was also led to believe that there was no one she could turn to and that she wasn't allowed to speak out against Papa Knoth. That if she did, she would be the one in trouble, not him. However, born and raised within a cult, it was true. There was no law enforcement, no government, no one in charge of her but Knoth and no one with the authority to punish him for his crimes or to protect her.

Blake and Val were both left to feel completely powerless and alone and at the mercy of the authority figures abusing them, and were set up to take the blame for what these authority figures had done.

✝ SHAME ✝

Additionally, Loutermilch’s dialogue towards Blake, such as “did I interrupt something between you two?” and the tone that he says it in, implies that there’s something sexual going on between Blake and Jessica (though there isn’t, and Loutermilch knows that there isn’t.) He tries to confuse Blake into thinking that Blake is doing something perverse and wrong, even before the murder. He tries to convince Blake that, if Blake were to tell anyone the whole story, Blake would end up sounding like the pervert. 

This is where Val, again, embodies Blake's fears for himself. She is sexually motivated and sexually aggressive. She doesn't prey on children the way Loutermilch did, but she doesn't need to; what's important to her character is that she preys on men like Blake. She is shameless and selfish in her wants. Blake, after years of Catholic school and guilt, struggles to tell the difference; Is any sexual urge perverse and shameful? Is he a bad person for them? Val is certainly a bad person for hers, and where does the line lie? 

He knows he isn't as bad as Val, but how far away is he? How many mistakes can he make before they're identical? Covering up the murder of a child for his own selfish (in his own opinion) reasons is a pretty big mistake to start with; he has a head start on the path to being a terrible person. Val, coupled with the flashbacks from the towers, gives him too much to think about, too much self doubt.

✝ DIVERGING PATHS ✝

But, while there's similarities between the two of them, the differences are what separate them into protagonist and antagonist. They had similar trauma, but opposite reactions to the trauma. They both felt overwhelming guilt and shame, both from the situation itself and from the things told to them by authority figures, but they both chose to respond to that shame in different ways. 

Blake feels as though he has to prove people wrong; he has to prove that it wasn’t his fault, that he isn’t a bad person, but deep down he doesn’t believe it. He’s on edge that he’s going to slip up and everyone is going to know what kind of person he really is. Especially during the events of Outlast 2, Blake feels as though if he can save others (Anna Lee, Lynn, their child,) that it will make up for his inability to save Jessica. He has hope that he can still be a good person and a hero.

But, suffering comes along with this optimism. He isn’t content, isn’t happy in the moment; he’s looking towards an unachievable future in which he can undo what’s been done. He isn’t happy with himself or his surroundings and won’t be until that future goal is reached. He feels as though he’s missing a piece of himself due to his trauma and he’s forever searching for it.

Val, meanwhile, feels as though she’s too far gone. There isn’t a way of proving people wrong or a point in doing so. When any little misstep means you’re irredeemable and betraying god himself, what chance of forgiveness is there for the things that she’s done? She believes that nothing she does could be worse than what she’s already done, so what’s the point in trying? Plus, the messages of what is good and what is evil has been so warped for her. People she’s trusted have told her that god wants her to do evil things, that she’s evil for not doing them. She has no one who’s moral guidance she can trust and no one who will judge her through an unbiased lens. 

With being in a lose/lose situation comes freedom. Val is happy with her life because Val does the things she wants to do; no shame, no judgement, no guilt. Other people’s opinions of her have been so conflicting and so harsh that they’ve become meaningless. She knows other people won’t ever approve of her or her actions, and so she lives only for herself. 

✝ HELPING BLAKE ✝

At the end of the day, this is what Val preaches. More importantly, she sees the similarities between Blake, in game, and herself, years previous. She remembers feeling ashamed and searching for the right answers. She’s found that the right answer is to accept that there is no right answer. That acting on impulse, acting on what makes you feel good, brings so much more joy than stressing over what’s morally right or what other people want you to do. 

She sees Blake suffering in such a familiar way and she knows how she saved herself; she knows she can save him, too, if she can open his eyes to the truth. Though Val’s actions towards Blake are horrendous, they’re merciful from Val’s perspective. She wants him to see what she sees. She wants him to push past the wall of his trauma and come out the other side stronger for it, as she did. She wants him to just give in to his urges, without any concern to what’s proper or acceptable in the eyes of god. She believes that if he tries, just once, to act without guilt and shame holding him back, he’ll get addicted to the freedom the way she has. 

[cherry-interlude]

Lana Del Rey Unreleased Ranking (5)

This is a re-ranking of Lana's unreleased songs, after making a first a few years ago. This is all my opinion, which I don't mind anyone disagreeing with but don't come for me for it - honestly, I like every song, despite any criticism, and this ranking is very vague. It's based on objective and subjective opinion.

This is the fifth of five posts, with my favourites.

Wild One

Lana is nostalgic without the sadness, remembering how she’d shake it for Mike but is embracing her freedom. She lets country influence seep through her voice and her uncomplicated instrumentals – it would be an unsurprising addition to Chemtrails

True Love On The Side

Though simple in structure and lyrics, it’s more Lana’s grittier rock sound and her incredible vocals that make this one of my favourite unreleased tracks. Lana lets herself go and goes full pop rock chick for this track, whilst keeping in with her ‘other woman’ trope that makes the song still familiar despite its departure from her usual music.

Driving In Cars With Boys

Dripping in nostalgia, Driving In Cars With Boys makes you yearn for the kind of 1950s/1960s era Lana often laments over. Lana is a bad girl just having fun, doing what she pleases and giving in to her vices, and it’s this kind of song that is relatable in its escapism and desire to just do what you please. There are two versions, one with a more monotone chorus that matches the rest of the verses and another where Lana sings in a higher register, letting her cheerful, breezy love for driving with the boys shine through in her vocals.

Angels Forever Forever Angels

Perfect for Paradise, Angels Forever Forever Angels has that slow, rhythmic summer drive feel, a relaxed version of Ride which also has associations with the bikers that feature in both the music video for Ride and the lyrics to this unreleased song. It’s dreamy but grounded by Lana’s patriotic love for the grungier side of Americana.

Hollywood

It has a breathy chorus you could sing to, the feeling of a summer evening and blue skies. The ever building and dropping beat that keeps the song ticking as restlessly as Lana’s hopes and dreams gets me feeling pumped as much as her emphasised, dragged out “Hollywood” in the chorus makes me soothed. Lana is wishing for fame and fortune but it has the feel of an eighties American teen movie, iconic and deserving of a cult following.

Yes To Heaven

Hazy like a daydream, Yes To Heaven is made of sunlight and soft grass, closer to nature than the spotlights of Lana’s often alcohol-soaked, money drenched stages. Lana’s voice is tentative until it shimmers in the chorus, and though it was made for Ultraviolence, it wouldn’t be out of place on the shining beacon of hope that is Lana’s positive turn, Lust For Life.

Life Is Beautiful

This gorgeous song was intended for Age of Adaline’s trailer, and it’s been years of waiting for the full song to be released. Now we have it, it’s certainly worth the wait. Dreamy and soft, this track is a timeless classic that could underwhelm from it’s gentle feel but works perfectly well as a pure little love song.

On Our Way

Stripped back and with a country twang, Lana doesn’t add fuss and frills to this song, instead just crooning precisely how she feels in the kind of song that keeps you daydreaming for hours. Not even the smattering of her favourite imagery (Chevrolets and K-Mart lip gloss) overshadows the love that’s at the forefront of this track.

Never Let Me Go

Like On Our Way, Never Let Me Go has the country twang and stripped back feel that makes this a more subdued song, her lyrics shining even more. Lana’s additional strings layer this song well and her comparisons to the dangerous couple that is Sid and Nancy gives this track an edge, keeping it from being too frothy.

French Restaurant

A piano ballad, Lana strips back the hurt of Without You and dual dedication of Video Games to sing about how fame matters so little to her while she’s torn between two men. Her voice is beautiful and it does well to be so minimal in its production, her emotion driving the song clearly enough. Especially pretty are the backing vocals of the choruses, echoes of her thoughts that hammer home her broken feelings.

Trash Magic

Lana’s delicate and soft vocals help tie into the Lolita-esque character Lana often plays in her music. It has a similar feel to 1949, dripping with her delicious imagery, and wouldn’t be out of place on AKA Lizzy Grant. Lana is the fragile ‘daddy’s girl’ again in this song, and the sharp yet soothing music in the background sets the tone for a quiet trailer park night.

Us Against The World

Though fairly chilled out, Lana still hooks listeners with her characterisation of waitress by day/stripper by night, a dangerous girl tempting an equally dangerous guy. Lana drips sexiness in this song and though it’s not as exciting as some of her other unreleased pop hits, it is perfect for the Del Rey character.

Your Girl

Much like Caught You Boy, Lana is desperate for a man she can’t have but is instead a complete wreck. Lana just repeats over and over how she wishes she was this man’s girl, practically pleading after describing how she needs to be led off the stage from falling apart. Yet it’s still sultry, still passionate, and is topped off by her honey-like vocal demonstration in the bridge and the chorus.

Roses

Lana is the other woman with a twist – instead of moping about her man (Other Woman, Sad Girl) she is taking action. Fighting against him, not letting him go without making some noise and getting rid of his girlfriend, Lana storms into the song with a vengeful wrath and calls him out for his poor attempts at apologies. When this song first came out, I adored it, since it was the exact kind of strong-girl track I wanted from her with a great hook and all the right Lana-isms. Now, I still get that thrill listening to this song and its kick-ass fuck-you to the man she loves.

Playing Dangerous

The churning drums, the spoken verses and the coy vocals set this song apart from her others. It falls shorter during the choruses, the verses being the best parts of the track, but the way Lana interacts with the listener ultimately and is a more direct character of ‘innocent’ seductress who might actually be downright bad (arson is hinted).

Serene Queen

Lana is unbothered and unruffled, as collected as she is in Put Your Lips Together but this time with a definite Ultraviolence/Honeymoon feel. Lana is unshaken by the blazing guns, instead completely calm with her dangerous lover, questioning why he even has a problem in the first place. As it picks up in the chorus, almost smirking, it becomes one of her finer unreleased songs yet.

Ave Maria

This is just an instrumental but there’s something so beautifully haunting about it. It wouldn’t be out of place in a Hollywood movie, with shades of the Lolita soundtrack instantly coming to mind when it first starts. It even works well without singing, and I hope we get a full version soon.

Puppy Love

From the perspective of a Marilyn Monroe figure, Lana plays the teenage girl wishing for a traditional romance with her lover. It’s ever-so-adorable, harking back to the sweeter parts of the fifties, but there’s a sense of sadness throughout it. Under the surface of the puppy love is the reality that the references to Monroe do not forget her sadness, loneliness and ultimately her overdose. The tone shifts to such an unhappiness in the bridge, directly calling back to Monroe’s phone call shortly before she overdosed, twisting the song to something more melancholic.

Cherry Blossom

The lullaby that grew into the marvellous, completed Cherry Blossom is a lovely tribute to someone small and beloved. Though Lana doesn’t have children yet, the care in her voice and each of her heart-warming compliments and promises is still thoroughly enjoyable – and comforting.

Colour Blue

In a song that reminds me of the love/hate relationship of Norman Fucking Rockwell, Lana takes her time to question why she loves the men that she does and, ultimately, grow from it, beginning to want something different. It’s raw and personal, with a gushing chorus that is complimented fully by the guitar. This song is blue all over, from Lana's opening harmonisation to her abrupt, unhappy ending.

Paradise

This song is, of course, pure paradise. A summery beat, a flippant Lana simply enjoying her lover no matter how long she’ll have him for and her coos of “sick!” and “that’s dope!” make this into a tasty distraction fit for the sunny months. Her casualness in this track is fresh as well as the dance-happy music that she doesn’t often create in her albums.

Meet Me In The Pale Moonlight

Lana is the waitress with a crush in this bop of a track, trying to convince a guy to get with her instead of that “bitch”. Convincing she is, as she uses all of her charm, wit and insistence that there’s no promises behind her intentions to have a good time with him. It’s just a breath of fresh air compared to a lot of her music, not too heavy and perfectly polished. It’s self-assured as much as it is breezy, and calm as it is it’s still a riot to listen to.

Caught You Boy

A dream-esque confession of desire, obsession and pure, crazy love, Lana isn’t outright insane in this track (Kinda Outta Luck, Jealous Girl, Serial Killer) but she hints towards being slightly too attached to her beau and describing herself as an army of one. The song is sweet and flowery but there’s a sadness and danger to it that keeps it from being too sugary.

Fine China

Some of Lana’s best lyrics are in Fine China as she sings of her fractured relationship, unhappy wedding and many beautiful yet easily broken things. It’s a slow, unfussy ballad but her strong voice and stunning lyrics make it so much more than a throwaway unreleased song.

Thunder

What feels like a coming-of-age slow dance song but is ultimately a choir-backed break-up track. Lana’s lyrics are clever and her voice is the perfect complement to The Last Shadow Puppets, this combined work a sure hit that deserves some kind of release and recognition. Lana is frustrated but tender as she leads the song with plenty of presence.

Prom Song Gone Wrong

The fifties feel, the teenage romance, the warm and gorgeous vocals that switch from dreamily longing to a cheeky talk-rap suggest this is a song tied tightly to Puppy Love, except with a more hopeful feel to it. Lana is ready to leave and she wants her lover to come with her, and even if it’s a youthful mistake there’s no mistaking that the love she – and her man – feels is real. It’s a pretty dedication to the kind of head-spinning romance of younger years, though it has an edge to it. Lana’s choruses are desperate, her pleading genuine and the strange way the music builds and collapses right at the end give the illusion all isn’t the sunshine and rainbows Lana sings of – and hopes for.

[goblinconceivable]

braindump: betty/daniel

I’ve been living with them for a while, notes taken, a few stories significantly started but there’s a gelling issue, which I’m hoping is at least partially down to a lack of proper braindumping.  So, in no particular order and certainly not comprehensive:

Frankly I also got too hooked on the last 2 eps, which is likely where I’m blocked.  It’s an abrupt emotional twist for them (esp Daniel), and in trying to make sense of that I’m losing focus on the 4 previous years.

- I’m a little bit obsessed in the scene where Betty tries to convince Matt she’s fearless by pointing out her bang-less-ness.  And then runs into Daniel, who is at that moment half brain-washed, but yet when she asks about her fearless quotient his response is immediate and natural and entirely lacking in irony: “no bangs.”  It’s a tiny little moment that shows how well he not only knows her, but understands her.  Without judgment, without fanfare.  Were I to have a husband, this is the sort of response that would confirm I’d married the absolute perfect guy for me.

- They’re too close for mirroring to be an important indicator, but there are two scenes that stand out in this vein: the first is when Betty thinks he may have pushed Christina down the stares and steals the video.  She’s backing out the door, and he follows, matching her step for step.  I love the direction choices because from her perspective there’s a sense of menace, Daniel as potential villain is stalking her.  But from his guileless perspective he’s talking to her and if she’s moving, so is he.  The second is from the penultimate, talking about Trista, where Betty’s rolling back and forth and he moves with her, rather than simply turning his head.  It signals his full engagement in the conversation, seeking her attention, and is why the scene plays as flirting rather than their normal banter.

- That bulletpoint was getting a bit long, so second point on the flirting is that it plays against Betty shutting down the conversation “none of my business,” leading to the fight over involvement in each other’s personal lives, leading to the revelation that they know each other at that deep personal level so very, very well.  Which was a very clumsy leadup to Daniel’s revelation during Hilda’s wedding speech, that could have been handled so much more deftly but those last two eps were quite rushed, I don’t know when they found out about the shortened season but it feels like they’d planned for more space and had to jab in exposition.

- Becaaaaause: they narratively broke his ‘aha’ moment onto “know you better than you do” while the strength of the message is really in the “do anything to protect them.”  Which is, I believe, where they cut to his softened expression.  Not coincidentally, this is precisely what a lot of fan-readings of the characters focus on: Daniel will do anything to protect Betty.  Bobby might have said he’d throw himself under a bus for Hilda, but Daniel HAS done that for Betty- in fact literally doing so would probably have been easier than publicly shouldering the blame for the Tornado cover and giving away the profits.  Due to the fact that he had time to consider the consequences and did it anyway.

- Which is tidy segue into an admission that I’m flying mostly blind on the Molly arc because I basically skipped all her scenes, but it’s my understanding that Daniel doing this was a pivotal moment for them.  Ie, she was impressed that he did this thing.  I mean, I really appreciate that he spent the whole press conference scene looking for Betty, so the show in no way undercut their relationship.  But then they very clearly built the Molly relationship on the foundation of not only the man Daniel had become due to Betty, but choices he was making in large measure for Betty: it’s not that he saw Betty beaten down and resolved the situation: he was upset but lost, she yelled at him, and THEN he resolved the situation by taking the bullet.  Did I break grammar by ending up with two colon’d clauses in the same sentence?  It’s a braindump, ain’t gotta be pretty.  XP

- Quick sidebar that the same thing happens with Alexis.  She was expecting to come back to one brother, but then listens in on his pep talk with Betty and finds she’s returned to a different brother.  This may be where I got the “an assistant” phrasing, if so, my bad.  But basically, she was impressed with Daniel’s actions, not understanding that it was Betty specifically inspiring his actions.

- Follow that a step further and did Molly ever acknowledge how important Betty is to him?  Legit question.  I think her line here was about him doing it “for an assistant” (?) rather than even “his assistant,” establishing Betty as a non-entity for her.  (Quoting a summary but I think I’m in the ballpark.)  And I’m sure I’d have read about it somewhere if she brought Betty up during their discussion on who he’d date when she was dead.

- Just one last note on Molly, (okay it’s a multi-part though it veers off her as a character) but a possibly incorrect beef is that I hate the Daniel/Molly relationship because there’s no interesting or even real conflict?  It’s perfect?  I’m supposed to think this is magical “true love”?  Molly has apparently been engaged for years to a man she doesn’t really love (and um... that’s lazy not strong), and helps inspire a vengeance filled betrayal by her ex because she’s so awesome everyone loves her?  But she comes out squeaky clean because any emotional cheating on her part is balanced and thus “justified” by Connor falling for Wilhemina.  And then the only “conflict” is that she’s dying, and is perfect throughout it?  That’s...  weak.

-That poem thing WOULD have been an interesting point of conflict but it was resolved by Betty’s intervention, rather than within the relationship.  Which actually is an incredibly interesting beat.  The problem with that being it’s so entirely consistent with the role Betty plays in Daniel’s life that it’s treated as just another beat, as if it doesn’t MATTER that a fundamental moment of intimacy and growth of vulnerability in Daniel’s very important romantic relationship is a door opened by a third party.  There’s a strong argument to be made for something but I broke off to write the next point and now can’t remember what that strong argument is.  I might remember later.  It may have had something to do with Molly being a stepping stone in Daniel’s arc, but the cult-thing was so long and dominating that it didn’t work, it tied him too tightly for too long and coinciding with a loosening of his relationship with Betty there was flailing.

- Quick one: Daniel’s fast-forwarded and time-bounded relationship with Molly is the analog to Betty’s time-limited relationship with Henry.  Which is a discussion I would like Daniel and Betty to have.  Esp. noting that Betty and Henry had issues they worked through together (ice cream foreplay being one.)

- Player!  So going back to a happy place, when Betty’s on the phone trying to fix the apartment situation and the camera pans onto Daniel just leaning against the doorway: this may be a legitimate little moment of “squee!”  There’s so much denial in his laid back attitude at Player, but I still love watching how the informality of the environment reflects in the informality with Betty.  He gives her free reign, and there’s many answers to “why,” and I (almost) don’t want to go into them because I totally adore how this Daniel is basically a College!Daniel only he’s latched onto Betty, who, meanwhile, is just being Betty.  OMG how different his life would have been if he’d met Betty in college...

- Okay I actually don’t feel like going into whys, it’s just an arc to enjoy.  With a small mention of how he TOTALLY was playing with the MODE book and handed it to Betty knowing she’d understand and use it to get them back in.  Such a crazy subtle manipulation, to the point where I’m not sure it wasn’t almost entirely subconscious on Daniel’s part.

- The YETI recommendation letter.  What I love is that this is another time when Daniel fvcks up, but fixes it, and more importantly displays competence and ingenuity alongside authentic caring and effort.  Here’s the thing: YETI wanted Betty, even if it was just a quota thing (which it wasn’t entirely, at least one of the board was generally enthused.)  So all that was necessary was to have them re-label her as from Player.  Daniel knew this and did this.  And told Betty that.  BUUUUT that point was purposefully (by script and character) overshadowed by the gesture of the lengthy rec letter he put significant time into.  Whose real audience was... wait for it...  Betty.  He even did a second draft!  Which is more time and effort and a cleaner product.

-  Also flaking on her practice run.  I also enjoy how he (finally...) bounced back into the office clearly having forgotten her schedule, but having mentally shifted from Molly-space into Betty-space.  He’s enthused, he’s engaged, he’s sort of bantering and I’d like to see where that scene would have gone if she hadn’t immediately gotten the acceptance call.

- So there’s this moment somewhat early on, pretty sure when Betty’s taking the writing class, and wants Daniel to give her feedback.  And he’s all “why?,” coming from his “I don’t actually know what I’m doing” place.  She responds that he’s her friend and wants to know what he thinks.  And he does a little double-take at that word.  Because until that point Daniel totally sees Betty as HIS Friend, and they’ve referred to each other as friends, with a little “f,” and he believes that.  But it wasn’t until this moment that he even considered that HE might be HER Friend.  Presumably because he doesn’t believe he has anything to offer her, beyond the power he holds as EIC and her boss - ie, “here run this show” and other such responsibilities.

- Which is a recurring theme.  Pronounced on relationship stuff especially.  When she asks him for input on the Henry vs Gio situation, when she’s trying to date the playwright.  His response is always “I’m in no position to offer relationship advice/judgment on relationships.”  He sorta dodges the first and is permissive on the second.  I don’t know where to go with that so I’ll leave it (for now).

- When  he was supposed to be in Rio, Betty wasn’t even at MODE, she was working for the “enemy,” and he was sending her regular postcards?  First, they’d have been postmarked in New York and presumably with local stamps, so I’m not 100% on Betty not cottoning on.  But it’s super cute that he was thinking of her when he was incommunicado with literally everyone else.  Did he want her to figure it out (subconsciously)?  It’s an act of reaching out, but also of convincing: he’s created a fictional narrative of being in Rio, fed and embellished by the media and swallowed by coworkers, but it’s through Betty that he’s establishing the fiction in a definitive way.  He wants HER to believe it, because if SHE believes he’s there and having a good time, then he can believe it too, with a small piece of his imagination.

- Same convincing as in Player.  BTW, how did all those messages on her phone work?  He was 99% totally hiding the situation from her.  a) why wouldn’t he just call her from his phone, as he always did in the past?  b) he was creating another fictional space.  Where her “number” was literally on a post-it on his temporary assistant’s monitor.  It’s all play: “call Betty” happens many times, and every one is the act of doing it while knowing that he’s not really doing it.  c) Betty does not point out that he should have been confused he never heard back, or more to the point, that he never heard her voicemail message.  d) he was in a state of limbo waiting for her to come back, nothing is real until she does.  At which point there’s lovely dramatic tension since he both wants her to fix it and get them out of there, and wants to draw her into this new reality and thus make it feel viable.

- 100th Anniversary edition.  I love the idea that he’s hep on her writing his bio because he needs her name, at least, to be next to his.  His identity as EIC is predicated on her being his partner, and needs that shown, even if it’s functionally an “in joke” because it’s not like she can be featured.  In musing over his thoughts while flipping through the book right before deciding to quit, I usually come back to a realization of the transience of the role, but I want it to be a gutpunch of how he assumed, without being aware, that Betty would be next to him in picture, and that’s what they were heading for.

- I’ve actually got through most of my notes, so just a couple more.  Daniel is super impressionable.  He did what Becks told him to in the pilot.  He did what Natalie told him in the cult-situation.  Both against his better judgment - his look after Betty when he kicked her out for being “drama he didn’t need” - that’s the same look when he told her to clock out and was dragged off by the not-16-year-old.  I’m too tired to go check the pilot, but assuming similar look there.  He does what he’s told by anyone telling him to do something, but he WANTS to be rescued from the bad influences, who are so often so forceful.

- Final scene: okay so it turns out quick a lot of my thoughts are trying to understand Daniel.  His growth is blatant and deep.  So a second round will be more Betty-focused.  ‘Cuz I identify strongly with her and don’t have a lot of surface questions about her motivations, but I’m LOST on side of the romantic coin.  And plus she deserves a close look regarding how she grows during the series.

- I watched at least part of the reunion and very much like how AF answered the question of the final scene versus what EM says.  Because I think they each, as actors, see it from the perspective of their characters, which means it was played authentically and grants insight.  AF basically says that she saw it as Daniel coming to say thank you, and how it came down to Betty teaching him that he was good enough.  Which came across a little funny because her phrasing implied they’d never talk or see each other again or something and that’s an alarming finality.  But also implies that Betty really did see moving to London as a significant parting of ways, something that started as soon as she became an editor and their relationship changed.  Probably before.

- She then challenged EM as to why Daniel didn’t say goodbye (as if she didn’t know and hadn’t thought about it?  I’m guessing this was panel performance: asking the question “in character” and throwing the question to the other relevant actor.)  But anyway, EM’s answer was “Because things were just starting.”  Which is blatantly a shippy answer, and he even explains Daniel’s “revelation” as when he “really saw Betty for the first time through and through.”

- At some point in these things you’re like: oh but I thought of something else, and only stop when your brain falls asleep.

- I thought of something else.  And then I forgot it.  My brain is failing!  But not yet failed.

- After Betty gets her braces off there’s this scene near the end, at the shoot.  Daniel sees her and crosses quite purposefully to talk with her.  He wants to banter and share this exciting moment with her.  And the scene goes a little strange when Betty kinda goes “yeah, going now bye.”  I expected more eye contact, a big smile, more conversation.  That’s Betty.  That’s them.  But instead it’s a little awkward so Something Is Happening Here.  Is she self-conscious?  Did she see and hear something in Daniel’s look and comment right after she was detached from the bra and isn’t at this moment comfortable with him?  Is this all fallout from her dream in which she and Daniel slept together/he thought she was a bad person/rejected her only they chose not to explicate this/cut a useful scene/thought I’d get that right away but I’m obtuse?  I don’t think it’s the last one because while I can be horribly obtuse, I don’t think it was coded.  But that’s what the obtuse would say.

- At any rate they don’t pick up on it again, next scene (next ep) they’re back to normal.

- But Daniel does immediately chase after Amanda and let go of her.  Which is payoff for his convo with Betty earlier where she sort of disdainfully asks if he WANTS a more serious relationship with Amanda.  I did sort of wonder if he actually does, but Betty’s judgmentalness is what convinces him he doesn’t.  Usually I’d say Betty understands him so well she knows he doesn’t, but they’re not as close at this point, Betty is living her own life much more, so I dunno.

- But I don’t actually think Daniel was falling for Amanda, or that the show wanted us to think that was ultimately a viable path.  Because of that moment when he’s in a car, calls Amanda, says “I really need to see  you” and she turns him down.  It parallels his text to Betty when Molly died.  One text and Betty came over.  This was an actual distressed voice convo and Amanda doesn’t care enough about him to be there, which is really great development for Amanda even though we don’t see her!  She previously went after Matt when he was in jail, she’s interested in Tyler here, she’s not totally pining for Daniel!

- Daniel of course was using Amanda and their earned if mild emotional intimacy as a crutch, trying to fill the space Betty left.  Also note when Amanda turned him down for sex and he stayed to “hang out,” - this is not supposed to be an analysis of Amanda but I wanna note I like that moment because it felt like she was pleased to think she wasn’t just sex to him, while still being over him romantically. Because she does care about him.

- Or for pete’s...  I have this bad habit of writing notes which I later look at and am like... “huh?”  This is a fic idea, from Daniel’s POV: “Betty had moulded him, often by sheer force of her iron will, into being a man who almost deserved Molly.  And he'd turned right around and become a man who would never deserve Betty.”  And I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT THE SECOND HALF MEANS.  Specifically.

- Wedding dancing.  Happens twice.  Hilda’s wedding, we know what that is.  But at Daniel’s wedding.  I like that he wasn’t 100% Molly focused, ‘cuz, shipper.  And I know why the show had Matt cut in, because gotta keep things moving.  But isn’t it a thing that you don’t cut in on the groom/bride?  It’s their day.  Daniel just sort of nonverbally asks Betty if it’s okay (to leave her with Matt), but can’t help a) thinking he was a bit put out and b) want Molly to see his expression looking at Betty and have some sort of “aha” moment where she - do Molly and Betty have any scenes together?  I don’t remember seeing any and I think I did skim through all the eps, but I need to do that again.

- Ooh, one of the things I forgot en route!  I like that Betty has revolving love interests, because that’s textual argument for Betty never having feelings (romantic) for Daniel.  Which is super, super important in this iteration of the story.  There’s a couple moments - pilot and the first bridge scene - where she arguably has a momentary crush, which quickly settles into a developing platonic relationship.  

- Jump back to Daniel finally seeing Betty as a true equal = romantic feelings.  It’s a thing.  Look my brain is deteriorting and wording is hard!  So there’s two sided imbalance throughout.  Daniel always saw Betty with this veneer of youth, and a great deal of his use for her is helping her “grow into the woman she’ll be.”  And that’s the roadblock in him seeing her as a romantic possibility.  Which was initially quite awesome because he was sleeping with people younger than her, even the “she’s actually 20″ girl was younger than Betty.  And yet always saw her as in many ways more mature and competent than her.  And double-yet he still saw how much further she could, and would, grow.  His belief in her knows no bounds.

- Meanwhile Betty sees him as...  someone who’s also becoming.  Who has great potential.  Bullying him into it if necessary.  And because he’s guided by her, she can’t crush on him, he’s like her pet.  Were she to have a crush, much less fall for him, it would have been horrifying.  She needs to have a moment when she sees him as a true equal, someone who - look, everyone is always still growing so it’s not like he needs to be fully formed, and it’s a little murkier what the moment would look like when she finally sees Daniel “for the first time.”

- ‘cuz as noted, Betty has been there for pretty much every important moment of growth and crossroads in every facet of Daniel’s life.  Whereas Betty consistently had many things and relationships in her life Daniel was not involved in.  She’s always been way more self-reliant (not the word I wanted, is there one that starts with c?)  It’s why they did sort of need to peel away through a chunk of S4, because Daniel needed to learn to cope without Betty propping him up, because it’s like a Miranda-thing:

- “I don’t need Gary.  But I want him.”

- Daniel has to be able to be find without Betty before Betty can see him as a viable romantic partner.  She has to see something she never has before.  Daniel saw that the seedling he’d been protecting was not only strong enough to survive on its own had grown up and bloomed (process begun early in the season when he was being overprotective and she shut that down).  For Betty...  I guess Daniel...  ...  .....  it didn’t happen in the show.  As EM noted, for Daniel, the ending was the beginning.  Because his moment isn’t leaving MODE, that’s just the corresponding moment to Betty shaking him off.  His moment is further down the road when he puts into practice everything he’s learned and ...  something answered in fanfic because it’s spec and I’m tuckered.

[aros001]

First time read through light novel vol. 18. Random thoughts.

I somewhat suspect the author was hungry while writing this volume.

Also, wow, I knew Kizuna was short but the prior artworks never gave me the full idea of how short. She

is only chest-high compared to Naofumi and Glass (I suppose that could make Glass happy, though; ease of access for Kizuna and whatnot).

Given that, outside of the natural gluttons like Filo, S’yne, and the killer whale sisters, the only person on Naofumi's side with the "Eat food for EXP" matter is Itsuki, I think this is him falling dangerously close to thinking only in terms of game mechanics instead of reality, much like the other three heroes had been early on. Theoretically, yes, if you can gain levels and strength just by eating, why wouldn't you do a lot of it? But he's almost outright ignoring the physical discomfort and pain it's causing his allies and seeing only the numbers. Not to mention that he himself doesn't appear to be eating nearly as much, as he's focus on the cooking.

That said, it is cute that this is the first time in her life Filo is starting to feel full.

Chapter One: Sloth

OH SHI-! Oh, wait. Wrong franchise. We're good. I did not want to have to imagine Kizuna biting her fingers off (Kizuna: "My brain trembles!!!).

If Kizuna is indeed suffering under the curse of Sloth, I'm curious what triggered that specific sin for her. We only have the four heroes of Raphtalia's world to go off of but each sin applied to that specific hero for a reason. Naofumi: Wrath because of his hatred of what Witch and Trash put him through. Ren: Greed because he wanted more EXP, levels, and loot; a toxic extreme of his solo-adventuring. Itsuki: Pride because he believed only in his view of justice. And Motoyasu: lust and envy because of his obsession with Filo and being kept away from her. Kizuna's obsession with fishing, even when there's other important matters that need to be dealt with, I suppose could be considered lazy and thus lead to sloth as its extreme, but it feels a little bit like a stretch.

As he did so, the books from a nearby shelf whirled up into the air, forming . . . a dinosaur . . . perhaps. No, a dragon. The monster’s name was “Magical Tome Dragon.” Now things were really getting a bit crazy. A dragon created from books! Was this some kind of joke?

I want a Yu-Gi-Oh card of that.

“Don’t tell me, Glass is like the Raphtalia of this world? Could we really get that lucky?”

I mean, that's what the fandom likes to joke when it comes to her and Kizuna.

Breaking the sloth curse through Kizuna's love of fishing was about what I expected. Not complaining, of course. Again though, I'm just wonder what about her coincides with Sloth. She prefers talking it out and making allies as opposed to fighting but I wouldn't exactly call that lazy or slothful either.

Kizuna had a lot of folks like this among her allies—people who had started out as enemies but then became allies. If I fought someone as an enemy, there was generally no coming back—there were exceptions, like Sadeena and Shildina, so it was probably better not to generalize.

Glass and L'Arc are literally standing right next to Naofumi as he thinks this and Motoyasu, Ren, and Itsuki all tried to murder him at one point or another. S'yne was part of the gladiator fights too, now that I think about it, and while they never fought he and Trash were definitely enemies for a while. This dude turns more enemies into friends than freakin' Naruto. Being kind of oblivious is part of Naofumi's character but I suppose this could be seen as an interesting look as to how exactly he considers someone an enemy. If they fought him for reasons he eventually came to understand and sympathize with, then he perhaps doesn't consider them as ever having been a "true" enemy.

Aww, Glass is jealous of Tsugumi being close to Kizuna. And unlike Raphtalia with Naofumi, Kizuna doesn't have any kind of tragedy that keeps her opposed to relationship and would require Glass to be patient. I suppose Glass could simply be afraid of hurting their friendship by proposing romance or even that Kizuna doesn't swing that way. And this is from Naofumi's perspective, so Glass being gay could be completely off the mark. Still, it'd be nice to get a solid landing one way or another. Even Eclair unknowingly rejecting Ren at least give solid confirmation that he's into her and why they're not together.

“What! I’m the Hunting Hero! I don’t handle the cooking part!” Kizuna complained.

“And I’m the Shield Hero!” I retorted. Not the Stewpot Hero! If anyone called me that, I would kill them with cookery!

And technically, you're not even that right now. Not with that mirror on your arm. The mirror is cool and all but I am looking forward to Naofumi eventually getting his shield back. He just feels incomplete without it.

“Almost feeding time!” one of them said. Others proceeded to chime in.

“Yes . . . the time we’ve all been waiting for.”

“The moment we live for, basically!”

“Even if I only get to eat one mouthful . . . that is the fuel that will keep me alive!”

“I’ll never eat anything but his cooking ever again!”

“I think the schweiz is the best! It has to be!”

“No! The stietz!”

“Hey! No fighting! We’ve been warned about fighting!”

Did they stumble across a food cult?

“It isn’t bad,” Filo said. “It just isn’t as nice as yours, Master.”

“Well, okay . . .” I replied.

“All of the heroes have cooked in the village, Mr. Naofumi, but Filo and everyone else all feel the same way,” Raphtalia told me.

Filo also grew up with Naofumi's cooking since birth, so while he's already a good cook you get the added taste of home for her. I've said it before but out of everyone I consider Filo to be the most like Naofumi's daughter.

“Then you wish to settle the bill,” she replied. I thought it was free. As my suspicions intensified, the girl spread both of her hands and continued. “How was the food at Seya’s restaurant? It was so delicious, wasn’t it? If you wish to become a member, please leave all of your assets or hand over anything that can be turned into money. If you leave some personal items as collateral, you can have some time to go and fetch some offerings.”

Yep, that's a cult alright.

“Master’s food!” Filo said.

“They’ll get a surprise when they taste what you’re cooking, kiddo,” L’Arc said.

“Indeed. Your victory is assured, if that’s the best they can do,” Glass agreed. I was still concerned about how aggressive they were being. Were they hopped up on endorphins or something? They weren’t acting in character at all.

My first thought was that the OOC behavior was some side effect Naofumi didn't realize came with the Mirror weapon's power-up method, but then why wouldn't Raphtalia or Kizuna be effected when they have been eating the food too? Then I thought maybe they were more used to eating Naofumi's food in general and would have a tolerance to any addictive effects, but then why is Filo still effected?

“That’s the best dish Seya’s restaurant has to offer! Seya’s curry bag! And it’s Fifth Floor too!” one of the MCs shouted. I barely stopped myself from tipping over onto the ground. He really was just reheating a premade curry in a bag! So he was allowed to heat and serve already finished dishes? I mean, that might give me some ideas myself . . .

“The flavors that are normally lost in reheating have been sealed in the bag using proprietary technology! Now you get the maximized flavor from the moment you open the bag! This truly is the ultimate culinary technique! Everyone, watch this kitchen miracle closely as it unfolds before your astounded eyes!” The MCs continued their diatribe, but it just made it harder for me to keep a straight face. It was all a matter of perspective. Capturing the flavor in a bag was certainly a worse approach than making it on the spot.

“Naofumi . . . am I imagining things? It looks to me like he’s just adding or warming up instant ingredients using hot water,” Kizuna said.

So, like most other antagonists in this series lately, Seya is just an arrogant, entitled fraud high on his own stolen power. Why am I not surprised? Though he is giving me a bit of a Kazuma from Konosuba vibe with how he managed to figure out how to recreate items the old heroes would have talked about from Japan. It's odd to say he doesn't have nearly the same level of charisma as Kazuma give...well...it's Kazuma and he's deliberately written to be a massive scumbag.

I do like with his magic powers and awesome cape, Naofumi is basically the little muddy boy meeting a superhero, one who will save the day through cooking.

As for Kizuna . . . I handed her some of the fish we had brought in and had her cut it up. She’d finished with the poisonous fish already. Her life as a fishing fool was paying off now. She knew her way around a fish. The blood had been skillfully drained, and overall, she was a step ahead when it came to gutting and cleaning.

...You think the Hunting Tool can turn into something like the Wunder Boner

?

I explained pointedly, looking at Seya, Trash III, and the other MC. Trash III responded by flipping me off. I could taunt with the best of them, and I mouthed some swear words back.

I mean, one of my favorite scenes in Isekai Quartet was Naofumi and Shalltear sassing each other, so I can agree with that.

“Pollution?” Kizuna asked, looking puzzled.

“You didn’t notice that?” I replied. “Well, just watch.” She wasn’t the brightest bulb, that was for sure.

“Hmmm, I think I need to go wash up,” the rotund noble said. “I’ll be right back.” The judges proceeded to take turns visiting the washroom. Once they had all returned, it was time to eat Seya’s food.

“Huh?” Kizuna, L’Arc, and Therese were looking puzzled. The other diners around us too. I guess there was cause for a little suspicion.

...Did Naofumi give them laxatives?

“Ah!” Kizuna finally cottoned on. “So that’s why you used so many medicinal herbs in your dishes!”

“Exactly. The reason they all wanted to go to the washroom after eating was to expel the toxins. I also used other herbs to bolster the lethargic feeling that would bring on,” I explained.

He gave the judges f**king laxatives! That's hilarious! I get the actual explanation he gives is more complicated than that, relating to purifying and digestion and getting them to finally take notice of the toxins in Seya's food now that they're free from its hold, but it's funny to think that's basically what he did. He won a cooking competition through dishes that encouraged the judges to take a sh*t (or a p*ss, I suppose).

“Hey . . . you’ve been reading too many cooking manga. It’s an illusion that delicious and good things will be evaluated highly. What you need is popularity and demand,” I said. Of course, it had to taste good, but putting the emphasis on that as a bare requirement was also a problem. If you were planning on selling food in a restaurant, of course it had to taste good. Customers came because of other elements, because of popularity. If Seya’s restaurant collapsed here, it would cause trouble for all the judges. That was why I’d created an escape for them. In order to realize the future that boy wanted.

While we don't see Naofumi selling his wares so much anymore because he has far less of a need to, it is nice we do still get that cynical and merchant side of him. All that time didn't just go to waste and it's still a key part of his character.

“What, then? What do you want?” Seya asked.

“There’s someone behind all of this, correct? Someone pulling the strings. If you tell us all about that, we’ll let you go. Hey, I have an idea. Write it down on this piece of paper here. I want a record of this.” I said and passed a piece of paper to him. Seya’s expression immediately brightened.

“That’s all you want? Fine, I can—” But the rest of that sentence vanished into an awful grunt. The moment Seya tried to write a single word, his head simply crumpled in on itself. He managed a brief scream, and then his entire melon exploded. I didn’t want to traumatize my allies, so I quickly threw up a cage and blocked out the grisly scene. Then I gave a sigh.

Well...that was kind of f**ked up for Naofumi to do. Don't get me wrong, after what they had to do to get Takt to be willing to confess, this is much less horrific. But Naofumi did basically just give Seya false hope and then trick him into executing himself. I get why he did it and how dangerous the vanguards are, but it is interesting to think that while ROTSH isn't the darkest of the light novel series I've been reading, Naofumi, save for Ainz Ooal Gown, is definitely the most morally grey of the protagonists compared to Kazuma, Subaru, and Goblin Slayer.

“No matter how delicious the food is, if you eat the same thing every time, you’ll start to get sick of it. Once you get sick of it, you won’t overeat simply because you won’t want to. I’ve been applying that concept to my food,”

That is better than what I was thinking with Naofumi getting too into the game mechanics. And boy do I feel for his friends. It's the same thing that killed me off of soda for a few years. Obviously it's worse to starve than be overstuffed but it's still not a pleasant experience.

We were talking about the primary reason why Kizuna was summoned here in the first place. To put it simply, the idea was to revive the Demon Dragon.

YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

And they Tanya'd him too; reborn as an infant of the opposite gender. So does that make Kizuna or Naofumi Being X?

“Seriously . . . it brings dragon tears to my dragon eyes to see you, the great Shield Hero who defeated me, now reduced to this.” The Demon Dragon placed her front paws against her head and muttered sadly to herself.

“I hope you aren’t looking for sympathy,” I said harshly.

“Just think about it for a moment. The same bunch who shouted about defeating me and saving the world are now back, having screwed everything up, relying on me—their sworn enemy—to save them! Take a look around. Does this world look like it’s at peace to you? Well?” the dragon said, really coming for me now. What was worse, I didn’t really have a reply. This world was still plagued by humans fighting each other and had been ravaged by the vanguards of the waves. Everything the dragon had said so far had been so on the money that Kizuna and Glass probably didn’t have any response either. “Can you see how this might feel like something from your own past? Having been chased as a criminal, and then having to clean up after those very weaklings who were chasing you after they had been beaten down by the waves and people from another world?” That punch really landed hard. I wanted to call it a low blow, but she was basically providing a stunningly succinct summary of my life in these other worlds.

Seriously though, after Kyo, Takt, and the various other vanguards, it is so refreshing to have a villain who speaks with some dignity and can actually make a decent point or two, rather than "I'm strong so I can do whatever I want! Losers!" In my vol. 16 random thoughts I compared Takt to All For One from My Hero Academia and I still feel the same way. The two are not that much different goal-wise. They wanted the world and had the power to make it theirs, thus their actions. It is an immature goal when you think about it but AFO did not act anywhere near as immature as Takt and it made him feel so much more intimating. He would sometimes mock his enemy but when he did they were deep cuts that he knew would get under the skin of someone he truly hated, like All Might, rather than just throwing out insults and acting like a brat. And the Demon Dragon is the same (the High Priest too, now that I remember him, even if I don't talk about him as much). I liked Glass as an antagonist because she was intimidating, spoke only as much as she needed to, and was very powerful compared to the protagonists at that time, getting Naofumi to fear facing her again and giving her weight to the story and for the audience. Finding out later her motivations gave her some depth and added grey to the situation. The Demon Dragon is not nearly as sympathetic, but he still works for a lot of the reasons she did. There's presence to him, er, her. It's not a brat who needs to be knocked off their high horse but a genuine threat.

And being able to work with the heroes weirdly makes that even better. The Demon Dragon calls a 100 year truce, not because she's on the side of good, but because she wants there to still be a world around for her to take over. She's completely open about her goal, which ironically makes it easier to trust her.

“That should do for now,” the dragon said. “Hmmm, and this is a female body. Excellent. Shield Hero, under the condition that you will ultimately mate with me, I shall provide even greater cooperation.” So that was how long it took for things to take a crazy turn.

Still a little weird that she wants to f**k Naofumi though. And when the anime gets to this part there is almost definitely going to be a fanfic or doujin. Actually, now that I think about it, there are going to be creators getting some mileage out of when the Demon Dragon tried to take Naofumi over earlier in the series.

“Can’t you make do with Kizuna? She’s one of the four holies from this world. You’ll just have to overcome the gender barrier,” I said.

“Why me?!” Kizuna exclaimed.

“What are you planning on doing to Kizuna?” Now Glass turned a hostile gaze on me too.

Ahh, Naofumi's such a d*ck, I love it. Also, now that's two rivals in one book for Glass. She's almost caught up with Raphtalia.

It would have suited us better if the enemy was a bunch of morons. It was annoying that life never worked out quite so easily. We had no idea how bad it was going to get with the waves, so we had to plan our moves carefully and move to prevent this “fusion of the worlds,” whatever that meant.

Wouldn't that be a heck of a comeback to my bitching about the villains? The ones behind the vanguards have been sending out their idiots first, the ones arrogant and drunk off their power, to soften up the heroes first and cause a bunch of damage but that they know will ultimately just get killed. Takt and the others getting offered up as sacrificial lambs basically because those like S'yne's sister don't like them either.

“I’m starting to feel sorry for Naofumi,” Kizuna agreed.

“He probably thinks you two are in the ‘harem,’” I told them.

“I really don’t like that,” Glass responded. “No, I don’t. I don’t like that at all.” I wasn’t sure why she said it three times, but I didn’t like it either. Just for the record.

“Naofumi is a friend and a comrade, but we’re not like that!” Kizuna retorted. I wondered if she really understood the situation. She was the type who needed things to be said directly to her face.

“A shame we don’t have Fohl here. Even L’Arc would have worked,” I said. Just a few guys mixed in might have broken the group up a bit and prevented it from looking like a harem.

“Naofumi . . . even if we did have some guys, it would probably just give them some different ideas. Like . . . boys love?” Kizuna said. It sounded like, whatever the composition of the party, they would presume a lewd relationship with me at the center.

You know, you never hear about this kind of thing with Ren and Itsuki. Motoyasu went out of his way to have a harem and he still doesn't get it thrown at him as much as Naofumi does. Maybe it's one of those "He protest too much" kind of mindsets, where the more Naofumi denies it the more people think it's true.

“You got lucky. If a wave had occurred with the world of our illustrious leader, we were planning on shattering you. That’s the problem with this system; that’s the only way to get the reward for destroying a world,” the sister explained. I’d heard this talk about rewards for destroying worlds before, I vaguely recalled. I had no idea where that reward came from.

So there's a third world mixed up in all this. Obviously there already was the implication of multiple universes with S'yne and such but now there's a big spotlight on somewhere besides Raphtalia and Kizuna's worlds, where the big bad supposedly lives.

“That’s pretty much what I was expecting. Shield Hero, let me tell you something interesting,” the Demon Dragon began. Then she looked at the Artificial Behemoth’s chest again. “That part there houses a corrupted holy weapon from this world, which has artificially turned the monster into one of the four holy heroes and has allowed it all the power-up methods. It’s basically the monster version of a holy hero.”

I'm somewhat suspecting it's the Blunt Force Holy Weapon, given how easily that beast is smashing through barriers.

The soul that Raphtalia had pulled from the vanguard of the waves was not much like the body it had come from. Instead, it was a gloomy, Japanese-looking guy who was probably in his thirties.

...

“The vanguards of the waves are people who have been reborn or transferred over here after being selected by the one who assumes the name of God. They are given all sorts of abilities, such as the power to steal holy weapons or seven star weapons. They come into these worlds and start causing chaos,” I explained.

“Reborn? You mean like having spare bodies, like Kyo?” Raphtalia asked.

“No, something else. Just their souls were led to this world from Japan, and then they were reborn here as someone from this world. With their memories of the past,” I said. For example, they are people who died in unfortunate accidents—people like Ren, Itsuki, and Motoyasu. This “god” would whisper to them that they had died an untimely death and offer to reincarnate them in any world they liked. They were already dead and so had no reason to reject such an offer. If they did, the “god” probably claimed to be taken with their resolve and promised to give them additional cheat powers, basically forcing them to accept. In some cases, maybe they were just forced to be reborn, no matter what they felt. I’d read books like that, loads of them. Now that they knew being summoned to another world was actually a thing, why not getting reborn or transferred over?

So I was right about Takt being some OC f**kboy! They're all OCs! They're people from Japan who died and now are getting to live out their sh*tty power fantasy fanfiction as their equally sh*tty original character! As a source of useful but disposable minions, that's actually kind of brilliant. We saw how bad Motoyasu, Ren, and Itsuki had been at the beginning (with Naofumi himself potentially on that path as well before he was betrayed) and they were chosen by weapons that actually have the world's best interest at heart. Take those same people and have a malevolent entity constantly feeding their egos and pushing them to do terrible things because "it's their right to do so" and "they're the real heroes" and you've got an near endless source of wrenches to throw into the works of those trying to stop you.

Of course, now I just have this image in my head that the World Eater is Aqua from Konosuba. Which would actually be kind of amazing, not gonna lie. A godly being reincarnating otakus from Japan into a new fantasy-based world for a singular purpose and giving them special powers and tools in exchange.

“What if . . . and just hear me out . . . what if this one who assumes the name of a god is somehow responsible for my game knowledge?” Itsuki quietly suggested. That sounded possible to me now. Even if being summoned was the correct process, having some prior knowledge would change your actions once you arrived.

Before, when the Shield Spirit had explained to Naofumi that he was a first pick choice and the other three heroes were their weapons' third picks, I'd theorized as to why and how the final selection ended up. Assuming the weapons were telling the truth about being able to grant any wish once the waves were over, it could be assumed they have some power over reality even in the four's home universe. So I'd theorized the weapons set up a window to snag their picks, with the shield getting Naofumi and the other weapons, by sheer unfortunance, had their picks keep missing the window and thus they became more desperate, thus why their third picks had to die in order to reincarnate because the weapons couldn't leave things to chance anymore.

Now, with the new speculation and info, we can assume the World Eater has some influence over other universes too, including the heroes' original ones. So two new theories come to mind.

The first, and one I find most likely, is that the World Eater is causing video games that are similar to the worlds impacted by the waves to appear in the original worlds of the heroes. In theory, the butterfly effect could cause a chain of events that'd lead to such games existing, so it's not like the World Eater is just dropping them into each reality. It would just need to nudge things in the right direction. If video game knowledge is actually detrimental to the heroes, then that leaves less choices for the Holy Weapons (at least in regards to what their ideal candidates would be) and opens up more choices for the World Eater, since it wants arrogant and know-it-alls like that for vanguards.

The second, which could still work with the first, is that the World Eater is aware of humans the Holy Weapons have their eyes on and is actively sabotaging them. A weapon has a first choice, so the World Eater throws the game or other things in their path to turn them into a less desirable option, possibly even vanguard material.

After all my comments about the recent antagonists, S'yne's sister is starting to grow on me. She's filling a similar role as Witch; manipulating and using people before ultimately tossing them aside. But like the Demon Dragon and High Priest, there is more of an air of dignity about her than with Witch. With the exception of her sister, she's not really talking down and belittling anyone to try and promote her own strength. Like Glass she feels like someone who is genuinely powerful and doesn't need to prove it. How she's using the enemies of the week is curious and perhaps even a little scary because it does feel like she's testing and experimenting and these losses are not really a loss for her. And there's the added mystery Sadeena threw in over what she really wants. Whether bad guy with a bigger agenda or a secret good guy, she's more enjoyable to read about, as opposed to the vanguards where the biggest enjoyment they offer is watching them get taken down, and even that's not much with all the whining and tantrums they have after they're beaten. She's different from Witch and Kyo. She's not completely high off her own power and doesn't refuse to recognize her enemies' strength. Her casually teleporting away for a bit when she realized the battle was turning in the heroes' favor gave a ton to her character.

I'm just looking forward to when she gets a name other than S'yne's sister or Moron Woman. I appreciate Naofumi's completely lack of caring for learning the names of people who don't deserve it, but if she's going to be a serious antagonist or secret ally, a name would help.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/shieldbro/comments/kdwai7/first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_18_random/

[grimmseye]

Tandem

Read on Ao3 Here

Rating: Gen

Fandom: She-ra

Relationships: Hordak & Entrapta, Hordak/Entrapta (pre-relationship

Chapter Characters: Hordak, Entrapta

Chapter Tags/Warnings: This is just 1500+ words of Hordak’s thoughts about Entrapta, Pre-Season 2

(Disclaimer: remember that Hordak is both an imperial soldier and a cult survivor. This is also before he and Entrapta have really started building their relationship. His narration is told through that lens. )

— — — — — — — —

Years of sifting through the Horde’s administrative detritus had not made the job any more bearable for him. Even when Shadow Weaver had been keeping operations smooth, there was a certain portion of work that had to fall on his head, plans and projects needing review before they could be dismissed or approved of.

It was aggravating work, with one new exception. When he reached the file with telltale oil smudges on it, he could already feel the weight of his armor ease. There was a quickness to his movements as he flipped the file open — certainly not eagerness, but anticipation. For once, the weight of the file pleased him rather than had Hordak biting back groans.

Entrapta’s projects were the only things that brought him any mental stimulation these days. He took a cursory flip through the first packet, ears perking as he spotted the first draft of her blueprints. For once, she wasn’t offering new weapons to deploy, but rather a more espionage-focused design: something small that could scope out their targets before they sent any troops to seize new territory.

It was delicate work, and deeply time consuming. He settled in to read in more detail, making a note to himself to grant her a more direct line of contact to him. From now on, Entrapta’s projects should be sent through communication pads, to be vetted by the only person in the Fright Zone who could offer worthwhile criticism. Two pages in, he could tell notes from those who had reviewed it before were utterly worthless, all questions and conjecture with no understanding of what it was that they demanded. It was worthless to insist she work faster if there wasn’t a method to do so.

There was one, potentially, but not a single of the previous readers had mentioned it.

Hordak created a document on his communications pad and set a stylus to the screen. He got several lines into his writing before he had to stop, giving a faint sneer. His armor weighed his limbs, making his writing sloppy, and regardless...

He tapped his nails along the edge of his throne. As excellent as Entrapta’s reports were, she did not receive the same work with enthusiasm. Audio recordings were her preferred means of reference if he recalled correctly, remembering a delay in her work when she'd first began working on his bots. When he'd inquired about it, she'd mentioned something along the lines of struggling to digest the information. A vocal repetition and a recording of the instructions had been enough to get her back on schedule.

A moment’s deliberation sent to the security feeds, ensuring Entrapta was in her lab before he flicked on a monitor. Through his screen, it gave an overhead of Entrapta at her workbench, looking to be setting up to get to work. Good. He wouldn’t be able to interrupt her if she were doing something delicate.

He lifted his chin before announcing himself with a call of, “Princess Entrapta.”

She straightened up at once, head swiveling before she caught sight of the monitor, gawking for a moment before breaking into a smile and calling out, “Hello!”

She’d forgotten to bow. Again. He pushed a breath through his teeth, finding that the urge to demand proper respect felt oddly diluted for Entrapta. Whether or not she bowed had yet to compromise her work. Instead he skipped to the point: “I received your newest blueprints. The design is promising, if… inefficient.”

Entrapta clapped her hands together, looking excited before the words caught up with her. “Oh, I know. I’ll need to develop a prototype to get a real sense of what materials I’ll need and how much time it’ll take —” As she spoke, her words grew quick, almost snappish. “— But right now the estimated time per drone is much longer than I’d like, let alone viable for regular use.” Her hair frizzed out, bristling not unlike a cat’s. A clear sign of displeasure.

He lingered in that for a moment, then spoke. “I have a suggestion,” He said, appreciating how she perked up at once. It was gratifying to work with someone who knew what they were doing, and even understood what he was doing — at least as far as an upbringing on this planet allowed. “There is a synthetic compound we produce here in the Fright Zone that may work as a substitute for what you intend to use: adamantine. It should have the strength to support this device even in sheer pieces.”

She listened to him speak, interrupting only once to ask if she could run a recorder. Once again, he found satisfaction in that. He rarely had trouble with being listened to — with the exception of Entrapta, all knew to bow in his presence, to not speak while he was speaking. He had fear, and respect, and obedience, he had created a facsimile of the true Horde, successful in his emulation of Horde Prime. And yet, while Princess Entrapta did not fear him or even always obey him, she heard him in a way no other creature on Etheria had before. She challenged him, even, and as irritating as her insubordination could be, there was value in an alternative perspective.

Truly, she was impressive. Despite being a princess, Entrapta had taken well to life in the Fright Zone. Everything he knew of the Etherian princesses suggested inordinate wealth and luxury that would not lend itself to the Horde’s lifestyle. The primary kingdoms were disorganized and self-serving, lacking unity and loyalty to any but themselves, excising that which they found displeasing and then stuffing their castles with unneeded opulence. Here, closest thing to luxury Entrapta had been provided was her own room, something all ranking officers were granted. And yet he’d heard none of the anticipated whining, just a snippet of her voice from Imp about the brown nutrition bars being unfavorable in texture, even once cut into smaller cubes.

He wasn’t sure he could count her among the ranks of the princesses at all, and that was entirely favorable. Dryl had such organization and stability that even in their princess’ absence, the small nation ran like clockwork. It seemed almost entirely self-sufficient, and what necessary trade was denied to them after allying with the Horde could be supplemented.

Again, he berated himself for not considering Dryl’s value. It seemed that like the other nations of this planet, he’d vastly underestimated its value, and Princess Entrapta’s value most of all.

At some point, their conversation drifted off track, to the materials Dryl itself mined and then stories of what Entrapta had found beneath the earth, the First Ones’ tech she was so enamored with.

“Their power sources are more efficient than any Etherian technology I’ve seen,” Entrapta breathed, her chin cupped in her hands. “One crystal,” she framed her thumb and forefinger approximately an inch apart, “could have enough energy to fuel one of your Skiffs for a full day of flight, longer if you stop to let it replenish — because that’s what makes them so amazing, they don’t run out of power. I think eventually they might exhaust their capability for storage but I have yet to prove it, but in the meantime they seem endlessly capable of recharging their own energy, potentially by harnessing the latent magic in Etheria’s atmosphere.”

Sometimes it could become difficult to keep up with the pace of her voice, when her words began to run into one another and she took great gasps as she ran out of breath. And yet, the subject held his attention, ears perked forward with fascination.

“If we were able to collect such crystals…” Even that much energy would be insufficient for his portal machine, but to collect a great quantity —

“That’s the trouble,” Entrapta sighed, deflating. “I’ve rarely found these crystals intact.”

Disappointment weighed heavy in Hordak’s chest, then curled into anger. He’d hardly known about it for a moment, and already his hope —

He slammed his fist down on his throne. Hordak glanced at the clock, realizing half an hour had slid by without his noticing. This entire thing had been — “A waste of my time.”

“I disagree!” Entrapta’s rebuttal made his eyes narrow. Still, he knew to listen to his officers when they spoke — even to Shadow Weaver, who had to walk through elaborate metaphors and tangents before she ever got to the point. Though perhaps he should have listened less to her. The very premise of her arrival should have served a warning — seeking revenge did not sow loyalty.

Unlike Entrapta, who worked for her discoveries, for possibility rather than vengeance on the fools who had left her for dead.

So he did not silence her as she continued, “Your input was quite valuable! If you could have some of that material sent to my lab, I’ll be sure to attempt a prototype using it and see if it will be a good substitute.”

His ears relaxed from their flattened position. Hordak glanced away from the screen for just a moment, taking a breath to calm his frustrations. “Of course. I will see it is done.” He hesitated for just a moment before saying, “That is all. You are dismissed, Princess Entrapta.”

“Okay!” She smiled. “It was nice talking with you! We should do this again!”

His finger hesitated over a button. Hordak inclined his head, half of a nod before he ended the transmission.

The quiet that followed left him with a strange feeling: reluctance to continue his work, the want to shift it aside and perhaps pull up his records on Dryl to read more on what Entrapta had told him. Instead he took his pad, putting in two orders: one to deliver a shipment of adamantine to Entrapta’s lab, the other opening a direct line to her own communicator.

Just in case she wanted to consult his opinion once again.

[catrasredemption-moved]

What antis aren't seeming to understand here is that catra was literally brainwashed. from her perspective, her best/only friend abandoned her for the side of darkness and evil. catra was only ever operating with the information she'd been taught. she almost certainly assumed that adora had herself been brainwashed if she didn't think adora was outright being controlled by the princesses. even after she had an idea that maybe adora was right, she was still fighting 16 years of indoctrination and gaslighting. Catra is literally a cult survivor. To expect her to suddenly see that she's on the wrong side while she's still enmeshed in cult abuse is laughable, it's victim-blaming ableist nonsense. "Catra did nothing wrong" is not a joke. it's true.

could you imagine telling a veteran with PTSD that the soldier friend of theirs that went AWOL and defected to the enemy's side was actually the one in the right, and expect them to believe that?

what if the only people affirming that story were enemy soldiers and the defector?

you absolutely couldn't expect them to believe that. this is literally what happens to catra. she's a victim, and the things that she did while she was still being brainwashed by the horde will haunt her for the rest of her life.

abuse victims should never be judged on their morality by the things they've done when they had been abused into believing they had no other choice.

I don’t disagree with you, but I do think at some point Catra became aware of her actions and knew she was wrong - personally, I believe it was around the time of the portal, since she really started embracing the big bad villain persona in season 4.

And I’m not saying that makes her a bad person, because she does take responsibility for everything she did, which is important. It absolutely takes a special kind of privilege to say “Catra is just a terrible person who deserves to suffer for the things she did.” But she’s also not innocent. It’s part of what makes her character so fascinating and so appealing to me. She’s wonderful and complex and I could spend hours writing about all the different things that make her tick.

“Catra did bad things” and “Catra was a victim” aren’t mutually exclusive. They’re two facts that exist together, and they’re what make the nerdy gay catgirl we know and love.