#and certain spirit interactions always makes me think he was quite collected about the whole thing for someone in his position

[azurechicken]

If Awakening was longer, would we get more of Justice's confusion with sudden change of the realm? How different is it of an experience for him to go all physical compared to that one spirit in Inquisition complaining that nothing is listening to it when it tries to bend them to its will? If he felt the same, would he do an awkward war cry before doing some weird movement that would work as an attack in fade terms but is just funny here? Would he randomly try to hand you stuff expecting them to form out of nowhere so he would end up just giving you the palm, out of habit?

Warden: [makes a rhetorical comment about having a useful item] Justice: [hands them nothing] here.

[greysfall]

My 4444-word review of NEO TWEWY (with personal illustration + heavy spoilers)

My overall critical score for the game is 7.5/10, while my personal enjoyment score is 8.5/10. This review is posted as I have 80% completed the game, got the secret ending and achieved the Angel psychic rank. I’ll first start with the main pros and cons as follows.

PROS:

-        Enjoyable as a whole, still upholding the first game’s spirit in world building and sharing the same backbone - which was mostly revealed in the Secret Reports, it’s impossible to grasp the story without reading them.

-        The new cast and new game is charming in their own way

-        The old cast’s return is one of the biggest highlights for sure, it was fun and impactful. Everyone stays true to themselves and also had their own stories wrapped up nicely.

-        Boss designs are cool, new pins are fun to use and collect

-        The connection between the old and new cast is well written and executed, including but are not limited to the tension between the old and new protagonist, the weird but fun interaction between the 2 Composers, the new friendships revealed and formed

-        Sho being in the main cast is something so uniquely TWEWY and uniquely Sho

-        Still good music

-        Still many fun side quests, some of them really uphold the same quirky spirit of the old game and some are surprisingly touching

-        Many new nice stores and yummy looking foods to explore

-        The map is really easy to memorize for me, it’s fun to travel around the “current” Shibuya to see all the differences compared to the past

-        The social network is crazy and interesting to read through

-        Has an anti-frustration system to help 100% complete the game more easily and earn money faster, so post-game is relatively managable.

-        Overall, I really feel the efforts the team poured into making this as their passion project, not just during the development process but for all the last 14 years. They showed the vision of what they wanted to make, at the same time giving something to both the old as well as new fans.

CONS:

-        The biggest problem with the game is scenario writing. The story is so heavily back-loaded. The director himself thought it would be better to balance out the tension flow by adding more at the beginning but gave in to the scenario writer in the end, probably due to time pressure. This results in an underwhelming execution of characterization and lots of wasted potentials for the first half of the game.  

-        I struggle to view it as a stand-alone game, since the backstory and the old cast both play such an important role in the core of the game. If someone plays this game without having played the OG, they can only enjoy it on surface value at best.

-        The new cast is nice but most of them aren’t quite as intriguing as the old cast, maybe it’s cuz they’re all too nice deep down that they lack a little bit of an edge, of that batshit craziness that everyone in the OG used to have? I think some characters (Fret, Nagi) ended up weaker in terms of characterization because the writer is too afraid of making them unlikeable – which kind of backlashed cuz they only became likable in the most expectable way to cater for a specific group of fans. I would have wished for the other team leaders to be more crazy too, had they not suffered 30+ loops of the Game…

-        The CAMERAWORK IS HELL.

-        Gameplay does get tedious at certain points with all the time travels.

-        Shiba is so badly written as a villain, some Shinjuku characters should be given more screentime cutting into Shiba’s– like Hishima or Kaie or even, Hazuki (though his limited presence also solidified his importance).

-        Some of the main character designs, for example Beat’s hairstyle and his food reactions are hilariously bad. What’s the point of covering up most of his unique facial features?

-        Some of the minor/side characters’ design are too cool for them to have such a small role (eg: Ayano, Eiru). Ryoji did get much screentime but is nowhere as fun as Makoto was.

-        Overall the scope of this game is made a little too big for the team to handle as perfectly as the last game that was very compact, it felt somewhat rushed in development too so the missing pieces are clearly there in the final picture

The entry fee versus paying for it all in the end

An important difference between the Neo game and the original Shibuya game was that the Shibuya rule asked for an entry fee that is the Player’s most important asset, stated as a chance the Composer gives them to reexamine themselves. Meanwhile, the Shinjuku rule neither encourages nor allows personal growth and ultimately aims to erase as many Players as possible. It’s a pity we were never introduced to the full Shinjuku rulebook, as it seems like the system there focuses more on building up power and a grand government to compare with the individuality-driven system of Shibuya.

When you have to compare the new game and the original game (OG), this is an important factor to consider. Also, the OG has a serious storyline running through and through, locked with a different partner/GM creating unique atmosphere for each week and you don’t get to see your old partners again until the end. NEO’s team system does not allow such deep insight and communication between the Players. All of your teammates are always there throughout, the dynamic does change with each new addition but it is not as prominent as a partner change.

Another important factor is how the OG was built from scratch for a new platform as “something no one has ever seen before”, while Neo recycled a lot of old unused ideas from the previous development (check out this interview for more details). The development team for NEO lacks 2 key members and had a change of writer so the final product is not as strongly bound together as the last game.

The new cast is definitely inspired by today’s teenagers (from the view of creators), compared to the old cast they’re more sociable and always seem to take whatever works for them despite feeling unstable inside. They are all innocent and genuinely nice kids, avoiding to hurt each other to a degree that they end up keeping some sort of distance. They’re also unable to communicate at deeper levels, always stagnant at this half-baked stage of equilibrium without any motivation to get to the core of things. That is the cost of entering the game without an entry fee, without even dying or having a reason to be there/to fight seriously. These kids were stolen from the RG into a Game that was decidedly the worst environment for them to change or develop, just wandering around cluelessly to find a way “out” until tragedies started to unfold one by one and they ended up being charged the total sum of the price for their actions – ultimately losing everything in the end.

That is, I believe, a story arc which can resonate more to the youth of today rather than of my generation. If the message of the old game was to “listen”, enjoy life to the fullest and accept to trust others, the message of the new game is to “speak up” from the inside, trying to understand yourself and take actions instead of just going with the flow and finally, to take responsibility for such actions.

If Neku was handpicked by the Composer for being the special one with an all-dense soul to ensure victory of the game then Rindo was just a normal kid chosen out of random by Kubo to be his back-up plan, who just happened to have a high enough imagination to awaken the incredible power from his pin. Rindo was then officially chosen by the Composer as Josh picked up and handed the pin to him again, this time not as Josh’s personal Proxy – but as the Proxy to represent the normal people of Shibuya and via whom he could gamble if humans can fight for their own fate.

The underworld heroine and the hero with little of his own

Shoka is for me a refreshing and layered heroine. She’s the kind of character that took at least 3 trials of creators to form as a complete individual – that included Nomura who gave her the base design and Reaper background, Gen who gave a more cunning touch and the writers who made her English dialogues more punchy. Dishonesty equals “tsundere” is such a cliché, so the English writers tried really hard to avoid that trope in my opinion, while still letting her good intention come through.

She serves as the character who is informed of everything the players should have known, and there was almost nothing she could do about it. Almost. Until she met Rindo.

They were drawn to each other by sharing a state of “not having anything of their own”. They both started out with not being able to truly know themselves, Shoka even hated her RG life but also managed to mature from that stage before Rindo. She must have vibed with Shiki’s love and passion in the Gatto Nero threads, initiating her connection with Shibuya and understanding herself more. With Shoka as Swallow, they were able to open up to each other and offer mental support… but was still not getting to the centre of their problems because for all this time, Shoka could not tell Rindo the most important things about herself.

How did Shoka feel when she met Rindo at the UG? She probably didn’t want to hope that he would live the day until she witnessed the Twisters’ potentials. From the very beginning, they were both incredibly conscious of each other and also constantly frustrated that the person they happened to “notice” was such a condescending bitch/a clueless loser. The Shinjuku Reapers are overall quite drunk in power and uncompassionate to Players, Shoka included. She is also a master of dissociation, which results in her constant boredom, tone swings, haughtiness and subconsciously distancing herself from the friend – the boy she cares about – from false hope, as she judged from facts that it was a hopeless situation where nothing could ever be. Maybe she is naturally a bit of a chameleon just like her name suggests (Shoka 紫陽花 = hydrangea, the color-changing flower), so putting on an act and always dissociating herself from what’s important was easy, while hiding her contradiction was impossible. It was the ex-Reaper Beat who broke it out to her, that she should decide whether she really cared and wanted to do something for a change. He knew how it felt like to cross that line, and knew she wanted to too.  

Shoka is endeared by many of the Shinjuku Reapers and has shown independent acts of kindness (the Shinjuku ghost), proving that her kind and truthful side is as real as her harsh and dishonest side – which makes her a nice mirror to the previous heroine Shiki, who also embraced a dichotomy of self-complex and self-love within her character. In the end, she was the first of the new cast to ultimately accept all that is important to her and independently made the decision to help save Shibuya despite all costs.

She was jealous at Rindo’s interaction with Tsugumi and Kanon but remained silent cuz she wasn’t at a place to have any say about it. She also didn’t reveal about Swallow because that would only add an awkward irrelevance to their current situation, as she was too ready to face erasure at the end of the Game. She only wished to “play a game” with him, be it FanGo or the Reapers’ Game. The tension that the team could only feel at the end, she’s felt it the entire time. The song “DIVIDE” is applicable to not just one bond in the game, but it always makes me think of theirs. There is always a “divide” between her and Rindo throughout the course of their journey, as the living and the dead, as a Player and Reaper, as someone who has a place to return to and someone who doesn’t, someone who knows little but wields too much power and someone who knows a lot despite not being able to do much.

“If only I had the chance to connect with you on the other side

But time goes on, and without us realizing it

The battle is getting heated

Time goes on, and without us realiazing it

Divided again”

To be honest, maybe I didn’t grow any affection for the new main cast from Rindo’s perspective but from Shoka’s. Since I started to sympathize with Shoka, I started to see the boy in a more “real” way. The real Rindo, behind his peaceful façade with others, would lash out on Shoka for her unfairly harsh attitude while none of the others cared. He could also subtly feel that mantle of unspoken secrets from her, her own contradictions, the unresolved chemistry between themselves – and not knowing what to do with it rather than to feel angry with all the unfairness he could not process. (As a Libra too, he’s triggered the most by unfairness!)

It is actually a positive development as he’s at least “reacting” to something strongly now rather than to keep evading his problems. During my replay, I clearly saw the difficult situation Shoka was in, her remaining harshness after the Motoi incident was due to her internal struggle with a mission to save her own life, versus a chance to really be with the team. Her decision was to do both at the risk of losing favour from both sides. Rindo started to accept her layer by layer, as the person who resonated the most to her contradicting nature from the start and knew that via learning her resolve, he has learnt his too.

Later into the game, she even got too much of his attention. Maybe even without knowing she’s Swallow, he’s familiar with her thinking direction and Swallow had always been closer to him than any other friend. It was only after she had to betray her important ones twice that she could start being truly honest. The scene when she died a 2nd time left a strong impression in me, the little reveal let Rindo know that he is also losing Swallow as he’s losing Shoka – and that only death could drive the last secret out of her. Her final “Later, loser” echoed through Rindo as it was the final truth, with only him remaining to hear it: they had actually, already lost everything.

Rindo was the boy who never dared to face all that matters to him until he lost it all, fighting an unfair battle in the faith that they would somehow still win. Shoka was the girl who always knew what was dear to her, but never dared to think she could be together with them ever after and still threw her all into a battle she knew was losing. I think they stir each other on naturally to fill out their gaps, similar to what the Shibuya game partner systerm would have aimed for. The end reward was a little divine intervention to help close up the divide between them once and for all.  

During the game there was not enough space to process anything personal so at the ending when they officially became “friends”, it was an important affirmation of their bond. Some people complained it was friendzoning but it’s not, they just have arrived at the perfect place to start something more. “From now on, we will truly be together” – I read it as that kind of message.  

The heroine from a lost battle, with her story taken away

After reading the secret reports and playing the game to be surprised of how small a role Tsugumi had in the main game despite being the “Hype-chan” thought to be a major character of the next TWEWY installment, many fans would feel sad at a missed opportunity to see the Shinjuku arc in full depiction.

It was shown clearly that, a Shinjuku arc was very carefully planned out and is a vital part of the whole story, yet it could not be made due to various circumstances behind the development scene. I would assume, that the team were not able to make a TWEWY game that ended on a despairing note, but it already happened in their mind, thus becoming a mental burden that forced them to break away from it and started the game anew with NEO. A significant part of NEO became the healing arc for the Shinjuku characters, especially for Tsugumi though I really wished more emphasis should have been placed on her rather than Shiba. We didn’t even get to see her brother – Shinjuku’s Conductor who had a vital role and instead was given the clueless Shiba, who had absolutely no idea what’s going on all the way until the last day in NEO. It���s as if Tsugumi has had her story stolen away from her, because her own battle ended with a saddening loss.

I think every time the game creators look at Tsugumi, they would feel that sadness too. Maybe to them, she is a bigger character than what is seen by the fans, as despite their failed effort to depict her story, she’s lived in their mind for all these years through periods of destruction, healing and rebuild.  Though it is a pity we could not get to experience the full scope of the Shinjuku story, the creators was clear about the place they wished for it to arrive at.    

Individuality, connection and the social network

The team system adapted from Shinjuku rulebook does not allow much room for personal development, as the team dynamic is closer to a work relationship forced to bear results, than a spiritual bond to max out all corners of understanding as found in the partnership system. The old Shibuya system allowed only 1 winner and 1 week limit per game, while the new rule declares for a 1 winning team and only the team at last place will be erased – the other teams will enter another loop. Furthermore, whichever team to challenge the unwinnable Ruinbringers will face the risk of ending up dead last followed by erasure. As a result, the longest-standing teams are most likely not the strongest ever recorded, but the ones who have figured out a strategy to simply survive until something changes, enjoying their newly found social constructs while they are at it. Basically, it is a system to hypnotise players into the illusion that they are still “living”.

Therefore, we as players would not get to the core of each Player individually as fast and directly as we did in the last game. The Twisters were able to stand out not because they’re powerful, they only started to have a real chance after growing enough to each form a meaningful and personal connection to another teammate. It did not come as a team, nor did it intiate from the existing friendship between Rindo and Fret. In fact, I did not find much solidity or anything truly note-worthy about the main team and new characters within themselves until they started clashing with other team members, Reapers and new recruits from week 2 onwards. Rindo found his personal development with Shoka (via a clash with Motoi and pretty much a mini dating sim between them), then via the confrontation of his role with Neku; Fret found his with Kanon then Nagi, the team learned about the real Neku via Beat, Neku entered the UG via Coco’s wish to save Tsugumi… it was not the team but their personal links that empowered them to fight and solve each of their problems.

The other team leaders may have failed because they did not form such personal links, after 30+ hopeless loops Fuya’s team all fell apart to pursue their own interest even at the cost of erasure, Motoi quit his KOL façade to work like a dog for the Reapers (probably to save just his own ass not his team), while Kanon dropped her tricks to find changes via honest cooperation in acceptance of a fair loss. The despairing note in that is huge without making much of a scene because their failure didn’t happen at their best effort to “win”, but in their last attempt to find a way “out”. Even Shiba got his way “out” in the end thanked to his personal friendship with Hishima and Tsugumi.

Something has shifted in the mindset of the game creators in the last 14 years, as both games are about “connection vs individuality” but the last game focuses more on connection between just individuals and this one on the overall network that is formed out of those individual connections.

The introduction of Beat into the main cast was truly the bridge between old and new, they helped each other out in several turns before officially recruiting him. Beat is a character whom a lot of fans including myself have felt somewhat concerned about after Neku disappeared from the RG, so when the new kids welcomed Beat with warm and organic interaction and Beat seemed happy, I started to feel like I wanted to help them out too! I think the overall team chemistry is enjoyable enough for new players, but I could warm up to the new kids more from the pov of a returning character – whom I’m glad to be Beat, as the older brother figure who is genuinely kind, fun, serious and upbeat at the same time; who is needed and needs the kids in return.

The social network is a fun and refreshing feature. You can read all of the crazy tidbits about Shibuya and the links each character have formed with the town people, it’s also fun to visualize how the characters act off screen. Characters’ profiles provide extra insight into their background too, like how it reveals Tsugumi has been friend with Coco during her time in the RG. During the game when not all characters have showed up, you can sometimes guess which empty spot will belong to whom. For example there is a 1 character linking to Neky that is not linked to anyone else, so I could guess that was Joshua, and that another character linking only to Joshua was probably Hazuki, hinting that the 2 Composers are related before either of them even showed up.

Hazuki only showed up for 5 minutes, but his presence is so vital and true to the game that I think he is the most memorable out of the new cast. The two Composers have such an intriguing bond, with their yin/yang or phoenix/dragon themes, opposite color design, the sempai/kouhai tone and the way they keep some sort of distance/work relationship as if it’s mandatory between Higher beings, yet at the same time they can talk so casually because they are truly equal – and different from one another. I have written a separate meta on them here.

Some people pointed out, that all Shinjuku characters’ names and themes are based off Hanafuda cards and the Phoenix in Hanafuda belongs to the Paulownia suit – which is Joshua’s name flower. This is so interesting because it feels like the creators somehow saw it as a sign to interweave the Shibuya and Shinjuku storylines together. Though it doesn’t come out much on the surface, it’s fascinating nonetheless considering both Josh and Haz had at some point interfered with the other town’s affairs.

“Shibuya tour with Haz” was such a special scene, as it happened between 2 characters who do not/no longer have a reason to care about Shibuya, on the subject of what is worth saving about Shibuya. Hazuki carried out the purification of Shinjuku and stepped in to restore Shibuya just as part of his job and unlike Hanekoma or Joshua who both possess profound understanding of humanity, he really didn’t know humans at all. Rindo’s irrational wish invoked in him a sense of curiosity, to try gambling on something irrationally and learning a bit of what his senior have experienced. With all the pieces put together, it provides an overview on Higher beings as a whole, and that Joshua and Hanekoma are really the odd ones out with Hazuki being somewhere in between them and the rest.        

The old friends

It’s easy to have returning characters overshadow the new cast as they have already matured out of their personal story arc and stayed in our hearts for all this time. In the end, I have managed to enjoy both the old and new cast separately and altogether, and they will both find their own place in our memory of this game for the long term.

Sho is truly as crazy as ever, the game wouldn’t be the same if Sho is any less of what he is. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like Neky or Beat is younger than Nagi at all, with moments when it seems like Neky has aged 14 years instead of 3 years. His friendship with Coco surprised me pleasantly, and their interaction together with Beat was fun to watch. Rhyme’s found a new dream and her friendship with Kaie is precious too, especially considering that she can still talk to him online after the game ended. Josh and Neku’s interaction suggested that they have resolved the past and are on equal terms now, they even parted ways in good spirit and I don’t feel any worry about them like I did before.

Neku and Shiki’s reunion scene was beautiful, theirs is such a special bond that it has grown and supported them even without being able to see each other. I am so happy to see them all again and that they stay true to who they are, albeit looking more grown up, cooler and happier than ever before.  

Overall, NEO can’t become a classic on par with the OG, but is definitely a good sequel and a good game in its own rights. I’m happy with whether or not there will be a 3rd game to complete the 3 monkeys theme, but if there will be – I hope the creators can really find the time to learn from the last 2 games and start over with a fresh mindset and strong core.  

[safertokiss]

Concentrated Interests

A/N: Hola my friends! This fic was my entry for the Secret Fic Swap I participated in with a couple of close friends on here and it was written and dedicated to @nerdgirljen​. It was so much fun to write and thank you guys so much for all the support and love!

Pairing: SPENCER x READER

Category: Fluff and SMUT

Word Count: 3.3k

ENJOY:)

~~~

MASTERLIST

~~~

Spencer had never really understood the concept of soulmates or love at first sight.

In his mind, it defied pretty much every scientific law about human interaction out there and was simply a coping mechanism for those who were romantically unlucky. At least that was what he had thought until a certain tech analyst walked through the BAU’s doors and into his life. 

He was frozen. Totally and utterly enamored by the woman his eyes were currently attached to. He watched her stumble into the bullpen, a large box situated in her arms, seemingly impairing the entirety of her vision and coordination, evident by the way she kept bumping into things in her path. It wasn’t until she hit a particular desk corner and spilled the contents of the box, her belongings scattering across the floor, that Spencer broke out of his stupor and took action. 

“Woah there, let me help you with that!”, he exclaimed, immediately rushing to her side and starting to collect some of the fallen items to put back into the box.

“Oh, thank you so much. Gah, this is so embarrassing. I promise you I’m not always this uncoordinated and clumsy”, she explained with a nervous chuckle. After everything was picked up and they both had stood up from their crouched positions, she hurriedly straightened out her skirt before outstretching her hand. “Hi, I’m Y/n.” She immediately noticed the slight panic that crossed his features at her gesture and was momentarily confused.

“I-uh-I kind of don’t, um, do the whole hand shaking thing. Yeah, uh, the number of pathogens spread through a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to...oh god I’m sorry you didn’t ask for a full-out science lesson. It’s, um, really nice to meet you, I’m Reid. Doctor. Spencer”, he sputtered out nervously.

Chuckling softly, Y/n retracted her hand, opting to instead lightly nudge his shoulder. “Well Reid Doctor Spencer, it’s nice to meet you too”, a teasing smile adorning her face as she spoke. Spencer quickly felt a warm blush spread across his features at the absurdity of his introduction.

“S-sorry about that. What I meant to say is that my name is-”

“Pretty boy!”

Both of their heads swiveled towards the sound, searching for the source, before landing on a man across the room.

“Hotch needs us in the briefing room. Stop flirting with the new girl and get your ass in here!” They watched him walk away chuckling before turning back to each other.

“Pretty boy huh? Well I guess it’s fitting, I mean you do have really nice cheekbones and dimples. And your eyes are kind of beautiful. Not that I ummmm-not that I think you’re beautiful or anything, it’s just uhhh...um...I’m gonna stop talking now.” Spencer could feel the blush returning to his features, watching the same happen to her, from the frenzied rambling that had just poured from her lips, but he found it endearing on her and quite honestly, really adorable. 

“I-uh I gotta go, you know, um deal with that, but it was very nice meeting you”, he sputtered out, sending a small wave in her direction. She shyly giggled at his nervousness which was surely reflected on her end as well. “See ya around Reid Doctor Spencer.”

“Spencer. It’s um-it’s Spencer.”

“Spencer”, she repeated back softly, nodding him off with a gentle smile on her face.

~~~

Spencer Reid was in love. The longer she was around him the more he realized he was completely and utterly in love with her, all of her. She was perfect in his eyes, intelligent, funny, a bit nerdy and just so adorable. The problem was just that he had absolutely no idea how to tell her how he felt. He had never really been the type to express his feelings to someone, especially to a girl as beautiful as Y/n. 

The female species wasn’t exactly his strong suit and he was very aware of that fact, painfully aware. However, he stayed hopeful that someday soon he’d muster up the courage to express his affinity for her. Realizing that today was definitely not that day, Spencer tried to push his conflict to the back of his brain so he could try to get some work done. Not before noticing that Y/n was slightly late, though.

Less than a minute after he noticed her absence, she came bursting into the bullpen with the largest grin adorning her features, an obvious pep in her step. Spencer watched as she skipped over to the rest of the team who were gathered around Emily’s desk, close enough where he could pretty much hear the majority of the words exchanged and profile their reactions.

He heard JJ ask what was making her so chipper this morning, and he chuckled softly to himself as he heard her immediately start rambling about whatever had her so elated. 

“Oh my god guys, you’ll never believe it! So a couple of weeks ago a good friend of mine asked me to help her with her website, because well...tech geek and all, so I got to mess around with all the software and went crazy! I was able to fiddle with the source code a bit and authorize a super high CRO and SEO to get her website out there. Not to mention all the growth hacking I was able to curate! Cool right?”

Y/n stopped to take a breath and noticed that the entirety of the team was staring at her with vacant expressions on their faces. She looked on with widened eyes as she asked, “What?”

“CRO?”, JJ questioned. Morgan awkwardly chuckled out a similar questioning tone, “SEO?” Of course that left Emily to bring up the rear. “Did I hear growth hacking in there?”

Her face scrunched up in confusion at all the questions that had just been hurled her way so suddenly. “Huh?”

“Baby girl we have absolutely no idea what any of the things you just mentioned are or what they do”, Morgan explained with a sympathetic smile on his face, as the other members nodded in agreement.

Spencer watched as Y/n’s face quickly morphed into one of utter disappointment at the knowledge that her colleagues had no clue what she was going on about. She had seemed so excited when she entered the bullpen earlier so he assumed she was probably very much looking forward to getting to talk all about it with her friends.

“Oh...that’s ok. Sorry for bothering you guys, sometimes I just get a little too excited and tend to ramble. I’ll um-I’ll talk to you guys later.” Y/n flashed them a small smile before making her way over to her desk, situated across the room near Spencer. 

“Hey Spence”, she shyly waved as she passed, a deflated look on her face. Trying to lift her spirits at least a little, he returned her gesture with a huge grin and wave, happy to see her smile brighten a bit at his enthusiasm. 

Once she was seated and facing away from him, he immediately found himself feeling overwhelmingly upset over her predicament. He hated seeing her look so defeated and down, she didn’t deserve to ever feel like that. She was simply too angelic for those kinds of feelings to permeate her mind. 

Spencer wished more than anything that he knew what she was talking about so she could go to him. He’d let her ramble to him for hours on end if it meant he could listen to her melodic voice and see her beautiful face up close. 

All of sudden Spencer slapped his hand against his head and groaned, “Of course you dipshit”, before pulling up a couple tabs on his computer.

For the next few hours his work was forgotten as he studied and learned pretty much everything there was to know about technical analysis and the programming that Y/n seemed so ecstatic about, anxious to give her, at last, a companion to discuss her passion with. 

~~~

“See you later Reid!”

Spencer’s head snapped up as he heard the people around him saying their goodbyes and goodnights, realizing that he had been distracted by his screen the entire day and that it was already time to go home. He watched as his friends walked out together, all laughing about something that Morgan had said, before noticing movement in the corner of his eye. 

As he turned his head he noticed that the only person who was still there in the bullpen with him was Y/n, and she was staring at the posse that had just exited the room, a longing look plastered across her features that broke his heart. Taking a deep breath and deciding it was now or never, he rose up from his seated position and made his way over to her, hoping that he had learned enough to lighten her mood.

“Hey there!”, he exclaimed when he had found himself right behind her. As soon as the words started escaping his lips, she jumped in her seat, her hand flying to her heart.

“Jesus Christ Spence! You scared the complete shit out of me!”

Chuckling softly at her overreactive response, he moved to sit on her desk, facing her heavily breathing sitting figure. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just saw you that you were still here and was wondering why you hadn’t left with everyone else?” She quickly looked down and blushed at his questioning, embarrassed of her answer.

“Oh I-um they just looked like they were having a lot of fun and I didn’t really want to interrupt so I thought I’d stay back for a little bit to-uh finish up some stuff.” Once she finished her unconvincing explanation, Spencer leaned back a bit and studied her. While this was something he found himself doing often, always getting distracted by her spectacular figure, he focused on her body language more than anything, noticing the dark circles underneath her eyes.

“Y/n, you look absolutely exhausted. Have you even been sleeping lately?”, he asked, genuine concern laced within his words.

“Y-yeah I haven’t really. I’ve kind of been pretty preoccupied in the last few days helping out a friend. It’s really fun, but it’s also very time consuming”, she stuttered out, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Oh right! I had heard you mention that earlier today! That must be awesome getting to basically build your own website!”

“I swear I feel like a kid in a candy store doing that kind of stuff. I just find it so relaxing and exciting at the same time!”

“I totally get it. I was really impressed with how well you were able to manipulate the site’s conversion rate optimization-did you know that a site’s CRO and SEO are considered as two of the most essential tools required to run a thriving website or online business. It’s actually astounding how much the results differ between competition depending on their efficiency.”

All Y/n could do, while Spencer rambled on and on about her most passionate subjects, was sit there in complete awe. The sound of the tech-geeky words that spilled from his beautiful lips was simply orgasmic. Never had she met someone who seemed as enthused as her when it came to all her technical endeavors, and she didn’t know exactly how to react. Her biggest crush on the entire planet was sitting in front of her spouting off facts like they were going out of style.

However, amidst all the wonder that circulated through her being, confusion washed over her.

“Wait hold up! What’s going on Spence?”

“Uhhh, what do you mean?”, he questioned shyly, a blush coating his face.

Narrowing her eyes at him she expanded her questioning. “I’ve known you for months now and I can guarantee I have never once heard you mention anything even remotely technical. In fact I’ve heard you explain time and time again how confused you are by the complexities of the simplest of technology. Spill, pretty boy”, she demanded, maintaining eye contact with him.

Figuring out that he had been caught, he shyly lowered his head as the blush on his face deepened, embarrassment coursing through his veins. “I-I noticed how excited you were this morning when you came parading into the office, the wide grin that adorned your face, the skip in your step. And I heard you ramble on and on about your friend’s website and you just seemed so damn happy and then they basically just shut you down right away because they didn’t understand and I-uh I hated seeing you like that and wanted you to have someone to talk to. So I spent all day today researching and learning so you could have someone to talk to, so you wouldn’t feel alone. I-I’m sorry if that’s creepy or if it’s too-”

Spencer was suddenly cut off mid-sentence as lips smashed against his own, effectively shutting him up. His eyes immediately widened at the bold action, before he melted into the kiss, desperately responding to her fervent advances with an equal passion. 

Y/n moaned into his mouth as his tongue probed at her wet lips, begging for entry. The feeling of their tongues entangling was euphoric and they both wanted, needed more. Spencer gently grabbed her and, turning so they were both facing it, lifted her onto the desk and stood between her legs. As the kiss deepened, their hands began to tear at each other’s clothing, Y/n hastily undoing his tie and dress shirt as he all but ripped off her blouse, groaning at the sight. 

“God Y/n you’re so fucking beautiful.” He watched her eyes roll back into her head at his words as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him even closer. “Please Spence, I need you. I need you so much baby.” His eyes sparkled at her desperate plea, mirroring her need wholeheartedly.

Backing away slightly he unzipped her skirt and dragged it down her legs along with her panties, quickly reaching up to also unclasp her bra. “You’ve got me baby, you’ve got me.”

She surged forward and reconnected their lips, her hands weaving their way into his hair and tugging hard. The groan that escaped his throat lit her body on fire and further ignited her need for the man in front of her. His hands, that had been cupping her face, drifted downward stooping to briefly toy with her breasts before reaching his intended destination.

She moaned loud and deep as his hands cupped her sex, gently rubbing his fingers against her. He could feel her buck her hips slightly, searching for more. Receiving the message loud and clear, he inserted his pointer finger into her, reveling in the throaty groans that poured from her lips. As he added more digits into her and gently rubbed her clit, their lips moved rapidly against each other.

Y/n needed more, letting her hands lower to the obvious bulge that was straining against his slacks, palming him incessantly. Moaning hoarsely, he pulled away and quickly undid his pants, desperate for some sort of relief. As he stepped out of his slacks and boxers, he watched her eyes widen as they took in the sight in front of her.

“Woah.” He nervously chuckled at her response.

“Uh t-thanks?”

Giggling at his uncertainty she reached out and dragged him in once again, feeling his swollen tip bump against her, both of them moaning at the euphoric feeling. Realizing how fast things had moved, he pulled back slightly to search her eyes. “Are you sure baby?”

Falling even more in love with him, her smile widened as she nodded. “I am so very sure Spence. I-I love you.” She watched the grin that spread across his face at her confession.

“God Y/n, I love you so fucking much.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he lined himself up at her entrance and swiftly thrusted into her dripping heat. The overwhelming feeling caused both of them to let out matching groans of pleasure, Y/n latching onto Spencer and wrapping her arms around his shoulders to get a grip. Once he was sure she was ok, he started slowly thrusting in and out of her, soon setting a steady pace.

“Oh Spencer! You feel so perfect inside of me! So, so good!”, you exclaimed, cries of pleasure leaving your mouth.

“Baby you’re so warm and tight around me, I love you so much!” 

“I love you t-too!”

He gradually increased his already brutal thrusts, Y/n feeling herself fastly approaching the brink of ecstasy at the hands of the resident genius. Leaning back on her elbows, Spencer used the opportunity to pound even harder into her wanting body, his own release just around the corner. 

“Are you going to cum for me pretty girl?” She couldn’t control herself after hearing his dirty words, unaware that he was capable of such a thing, feeling her eyes roll back once again. She nodded fervently, about to crash over the edge. All rational thought was out the window once his fingers found her throbbing clit, rubbing incessantly, catapulting her into her climax, her pussy clenching around his rigid cock as she came.

“Oh my god Spencer!”

Her reactions were simply too much for him, groaning and moaning uncontrollably, finding his thrusts sputtering out of control as his cock twitched deep inside of her, quickly reaching his highly anticipated orgasm. She felt his seed fill her up completely as he panted out her name over and over again, both of them coming down from their highs, breathing deeply.

“Wow. Fucking wow,” she blissfully sung, a wide grin coating her lips.

“Y/n, baby, that was insane. You’re insane.”

He helped her off the desk so they could redress and finally leave the office, noticing how late it had gotten. They couldn’t help themselves from sending each other giddy smiles as they put on their clothes and eventually made their way down to their respective cars. 

Neither one of them seemed ready to leave each other just yet, some unspoken feeling crackling in the air between them. Taking the initiative, Y/n leaned forward, gently connecting their lips in a kiss that held the same passion from earlier, but was much more relaxed and romantic. Pulling back after a few moments, Y/n’s eyes sparkled up at Spencer’s as she spoke.

“Spence, what you did earlier...no one’s ever done something like that for me. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would go out of your way just to make me feel comfortable and happy.”

“Y/n, I promise you I wanted to wholeheartedly. Nothing matters more to me than your happiness. I just-I just love you so damn much. I think I have since you walked in and dropped all your shit on the floor”, he said chuckling. 

“Heyyyy, that was one time jerk”, she defended, a matching chuckle evident in her voice. “But I know what you mean. I think I’ve loved you since you introduced yourself as Reid Doctor Spencer, that memory will forever be embedded in my mind.” She couldn’t stop the light giggle that fell from her lips at the thought of their first meeting.

Meeting her eyes, suddenly a bit shy, he gently cupped her face, “What if, from now on, I introduced myself as your boyfriend?”, he asked cautiously, anxiously waiting to see how she reacted to his proposition. Instead of answering right away she jumped forward, throwing her arms around his neck and connecting their lips once more.

“I would love nothing more, my gorgeously intelligent boyfriend.”

Taglist: @hopebaker​ @pastathighs​ @psychedellic-phase​ @gloryekaterina​ @sleepysnapesnake​ @racharr​ @etherealgubler @furiouspartyrebelhoagie​ @andiebeaword​ @liaabsurd​ @cielo1984​ @starkeybaby​ @victomizedbyreginageorge​ @rainsong01​ @moonlight-jukebox​ @gretaamyk​ @httpnxtt​ @rachelxwayne​ @watermelonstyl​ @goldnratio​ @peakyblinderficrecs @cheyxminds​

[circumstellars]

I don't normally do the writing myself, but this fandom is so quiet and lacks content, so I'm forced to write awful terrible ficlets to contribute.

General rating, Five & Diego, Elliot POV, Lila cameo. Happens after Diego is stabbed S2 EP2 and while he's recovering under Lila and Five's care S2 EP3. No more than 1600 words ish.

Inspired by this post:

-----------------

The pain is immediate, the cramps are in possibly every muscle Elliott has. When consciousness hits him like a thunderbolt, it drops him into the middle of a tension-laced back and forth between... didn't they mention names? The aliens - er, his uninvited guests are muttering lowly not far away. The tightly wrapped gag has chafed both corners of his mouth and he can't seem to focus.

'You didn't untie him?'

A kid? Oh! The Kid. Elliott opens his eyes with a start and spots through bleary vision the (alien?) boy just a few feet away, looking unnervingly human and pawing at something on his neck. He looks unimpressed at the response he gets.

'Was I supposed to?'

There's a deep, exhausted sigh and before he can grab his bearings again, Elliott feels loosening pressure behind him. Two, Three, Four... Five! That's it! Shit - had he really stared them down the barrel of his shotgun? He should be dead it registers, but the thought is fleeting and broken by Five's weary voice; there's small, barely audible cracks in every few syllables when he says,

'The assumption here is that you will behave.’ Elliott snaps his head obediently just before the gag is loosened and the relief floods over the aches in all his nooks and corners. 'Put on some coffee: I need to think.' He can't see Five behind his chair just then, but his words sound far away, clipped short by a quick flash and the falling of dead air to replace him.

Elliott can hear the English woman fussing in the next room, and a quiet snoring from a third party, and he licks at the dried blood crusted in the right corner of his mouth. However his limbs protest, he gets up carefully anyway.

He doesn't know when Five plans on returning, but Elliott doesn't want to find out what happens if the coffee isn't finished when he does.

---

Elliott doesn't sleep that night. He isn't the only one.

It's well into the earliest morning hours when the third pot of coffee finishes brewing, and only just, before Five blinks into the kitchen to pour yet another cup. Elliott peers at him from his desk in the adjacent room, where Five has been keeping him busy monitoring his collection of radar equipment. Elliott hasn't the faintest what half these devices do, but the boy seems incredibly invested, and every little blip on his screens is scrutinised by Five immediately.

Elliott quietly takes a bite of cereal he's only half-interested in eating, and ever so carefully watches the boy in the kitchen over a few spoonfuls of tasteless granola.

Five looks eerily pensive. He's staring into the blackness of the coffee pot on the counter, and Elliott can barely see his unmoving figure, licked over occasionally by yellow light flowing in from where his wounded brother lay resting in the common room. In the quietude he can hear a pair of soft, twin snores float through the flat.

He has so many questions. They're bubbling up behind his lips but he is careful to say nothing until Five breaks his moody silence. Elliott doesn't think much of himself, but there are bits and pieces he'd rather maintain un-melted by an unpredictable alien teenager.

--

When Five does finally move, Elliott had long given up studying his motionless shape and was arms deep in rolls of labelled film canisters scattered about him. He nearly screamed when a deeply troubled sigh dropped in behind his ear and brought him to attention- he swallowed it quickly.

'You're out of gauze.'

He nods shortly in acknowledgement, his eyes following as Five leans his lower back into Elliott's desk and weaves his arms over one another tightly. The expression on the boy's face even in the dim lamp light from the next room looks stormy and blackened; his eyebrows are knitted deeply and however impossible it might seem his folded mouth looks like it belongs to a man four times his age. Elliott finds it moderately disturbing. It's another long few minutes before Five mumbles, barely audible into the dead air,

'Was he breathing? You know, when they got here,' and he's not looking at Elliott but even a hermit like he was versed enough in social interactions to pick up on the subtleties in Five's voice. The question was so steady and so calm, too calm, the kid's eyes too stony - his posture too impassive. Elliott's eyes flickered over to the opening of the atrium across the way.

'I didn't see much - I was um, you had me, you know,' he vaguely gestures to being strapped to one of the dentist chairs nearby. Five doesn't say anything, so he keeps going and drops his spoon into the bowl in front of him. 'But-but uh, the girl took care of it,' he says uselessly. 'The other one-'

'Diego.'

'-right, D-Diego, he didn't make much noise at first. I couldn't see what she was doing but she sounded... upset. Then the guy started screaming for bit before quieting down, I guess, until you showed up.'

Five's expression remains poker-still. Elliott swallows audibly. 'Mostly the guy--Diego--' he is quick to correct himself as Five's eyes slide icily in his direction, 'wasn't saying much, sort of gasping I guess, he sounded really hurt. Sort of just saying one thing really,' Elliott sits back in his chair, holding one hand with the other in hopes he isn't visibly quivering. He's fascinated by these newcomers, especially this one, but part of him can't shuck the thick layer of nerves that buzzes over his skin in Five's presence. It's almost like his body is scared of something his eyes aren't registering beyond the schoolboy shorts and preppy, embroidered blazer.

He can see the thin black line of Five's mouth part, so the rest rapidly tumbles from Elliott's lips: 'Kept saying, uh “Dad", a lot, or-or… something.'

WHAP.

He launches out of his chair at the sharp smack of a fist on the brittle wood of his desk. It shakes and Elliott shakes too, but in a rapid blink Five is gone from the room. What just happened?

He catches a shadow in the corner of his eye and moves to follow it out into the large atrium once more. The whole room is dark and yellowed by the single lamp on the corner table, and its casting bewitching phantoms on his dingy walls. Diego is laid there on his sofa, quiet in sleep save for a few stuttering wheezes that sound quite painful to Elliott.

'He's really stupid.'

Elliot exclaims under his breath and snaps his head toward Five. The boy is nestled in the darkest corner on this level, pressed up against the barrier across the way. He can't see his face, but can tell he's crumpled up into himself just as he was at Elliott's desk a moment before.

'I don't know how he made it to adulthood, quite honestly,' and Five says this gravely; he is quite serious. 'I can't believe how stupid he is, even now.'

Elliott doesn't know what to say. He says nothing.

Diego fusses in his sleep a moment before his breathing settles, encumbered but steady.

'He knows. He's voluntarily-purposely stupid because he knows.' Five sounds strained. His breath is loud enough to hear from several feet across the room; Elliott doesn't know if it's because the room is quiet or Five is loud. 'He must know on some level that I'm always going to come back to break his fall. Maybe they all do.'

For an extended moment, nothing followed Five's muted words. Elliott feels like a haunting in the doorway. He shuffles uncomfortably from foot to foot. He doesn't know if Five is talking to him or at him, or perhaps neither, maybe he's already forgotten his harmless new acquaintance was still in the room completely.

Elliott is overwhelmed with unbelievable curiosity and debilitating ignorance; he doesn't know the first thing about any of these people, or their closely guarded secrets. He's not sure he even experiences the same reality as them, so he is not sure he understands Five's hum of suppressed anger - if it is in fact anger at all.

Suddenly, he wants to leave. The room feels smaller, more intimate and it's like he doesn't belong in his own living room. He doesn't know if he was meant to ask, but he does.

'So then... why?'

It's all he gets out, not a entire thought but at the same time a fittingly complete question. Why?

Be that as it may, he doesn't expect Five to answer. Elliott isn't sure exactly what he is to this kid--alien--person, or what purpose he is meant to serve here, but he is almost certainly sure it is not Trusted Confidant. He may very well be superfluous furniture to any of them, even in his own house.

It's an eternity before Elliott decides to pull himself away, escape whatever surreal little bubble is suffocating him in this doorway. The unadulterated exhaustion in his sore joints and bones is slithering up the back of his neck all at once.

He's suddenly startled by a hand reaching out from the darkness beyond the door. He's pulled an arms length toward what turns out to be the dark figure of The Girl, who raises a finger to her own lips. She doesn't speak and doesn't move, and Elliott stares into what features of her face he can make out in the poor lighting, but she's clearly already focused beyond him. Her expression is absolutely opaque as she looks toward the weak light spilling out of the main room doorway.

It's futile now, he thinks. He is certain they are completely out of earshot when he hears it - or maybe he doesn't, the voice is so incredibly fragile and quiet and young that Elliott is sure it belongs to no one in this house that he knows of.

Perhaps it was a pining spirit passing in the night, the sound of it’s longing confession diffusing instantly in the air as if never spoken at all.

'... It's because I love them.'

[universal-kitty]

.: Day 1 - F/O February :.

Reverse Self-Ship: You are your F/O’s F/O!!

I’m from a video game series akin to an odd mix of Watch_Dogs and Grand Theft Auto. Things can get a little pervy, hijacking cars is involved, stealth and adventure abound...but so is a bunch of ridiculous, silly things, like a petting minigame that triggers randomly when interacting with my cat.

There’s a single-player mode focused on my background and meeting up with past friends or exes...and is story-based, allowing you to attack and kill them, befriend them again... All sorts of stuff.

Also, the option to adopt more cats and become a crazy cat lady...in spirit.

Shit, romance people if you want! Live life!

Marcus got Wrench (Reggie) the game as a birthday gift. It was mostly a joke, because Reg REALLY thought he wouldn’t like it....and what else do best friends do but give their bffs prank gifts?

Still, Marcus bought it for him new... So Reg boots it up and gives it a chance, anyways.

......holy shit, he actually likes this WAY more than he first thought he would.

First of all, he HATES animals; every one he’s ever met seems to hate him and hurt him, so he’s turned his back on animalkind. However, throughout the game, I’m NOTHING but kind to every animal and suspicious of every person I meet.... Some of which he understands completely. There are some ASSHOLES in this game!!

Also, the way I croon to my cat and get into baby talk... It’s so damn cute to him. Really makes him feel some kinda way, which he flushes over. (Haha, wow that’s embarrassing.)

The point is, he ends up hating animals a little less and starts loving cats a LOT more.

Actually had to put down the controller and walk away from the game when doing a dancing minigame. He could barely focus on the button commands with how cute I was being while doing the dances.

Proceeds to look up people who 100% the dances just so he can save them to his phone. Watch them whenever he wants.

Later deletes them, 100%s them on his own, and THEN saves them onto his phone. Is a lot more happy with them, cause they’re HIS gameplay videos and not someone else’s.

LOVES messing around with outfits. Someone on the staff was either a big fan of cats or just...made that my most out-there personality trait (second only to the games and show in my world that are obviously knock-offs of real-world games), but he’s not complaining. Running around in cat ears and a cat tail? So damn cute.

His personal favorites are the masks I have combined with the matching jackets; it makes me feel more relatable to him...but he’s a greedy man and always eventually takes them off so he can look at my face.

Has SO MANY PICTURES on Facebook of him playing this damn game. Marcus kinda thought he was pranking at first, but now the whole squad knows Reg is a bit of an addict.

They got him the other games on Christmas and he cried. Everyone was....kinda in awe.

Josh got him a t-shirt with my character on it that reads “Bee Paw-sitive~!” on it. He wears it a LOT.

He definitely started up a collection that rivaled....basically no one else in the fandom.

HATES seeing the fandom pairings. And since you can romance anyone due to my sexuality canonly being Panromantic...it’s frustrating.

(Well, he’s Bi, so some of the people he wouldn’t mind sharing with, yeah....but he’s specifically venomous over the people he’s SURE are my friends only. Or are/were super toxic to me in my past. So, so bitter that anyone likes those ships, but holds his tongue only bc he got a figurine of me doing some cutesy pose next to his monitor. It helps him keep his head.)

Literally has a savings account reserved for merchandise. If it exists, he wants to buy it. If it doesn’t, but someone’s commissions are open? He’s gonna buy it.

Has bought art, jumped on art-trades/requests to get MORE art of us together. Has two plushies of me, as well as a body pillow. Continues to seek more things.

Is honestly upset that my size is medium (and so he can’t wear my canonly fitted clothes), BUT that doesn’t stop him from owning a single shirt in my size AND getting items that mimic my wardrobe.

He likes to imagine we can match together....or I can wear HIS version of my fave shirts when mine are dirty~!

Is still debating getting a kitten. Until that day, cat plushes are among the only other plushes he has (aside from mine).

Weird as he felt about it, he later admitted to his friends that he....kinda felt romantically towards me? And was thinking about just being fictoromantic...

Josh was the first one to see no problem with it and fast. People can be hard to work with, so... You do you. (Reg then felt bad about bullying him so much....oop.)

Horatio was also quickly on board. “Hey man, they make you happy. If it helps, it helps.”

Marcus....was a little more confused, but got in the spirit of it, regardless. “man, if I knew you would’ve actually liked it, I woulda got it for you a lot sooner!! Have fun, man.”

Sitara doesn’t quite get it, but.... It sure explains why Reg kept pestering her to tag “Purrfect Anarchy” in certain places and commissioning her for stylized art of him with them.

T-Bone....kinda harasses him about it, but the group stands by Reg. Josh is pretty upset about it, though.

He also follows every piece of news and publicly shares it, after admitting to being ficto. LOTS more pictures like, “Cutie’s got good taste.” [selfie with him sticking out his tongue and wearing one of the replica shirts] “Dinner date with bae!” [screenshot of me looking at the screen of his laptop, dinner and candlelight between us]

Everyone rolled with it more and more over time, so now it’s entirely not uncommon for them to bribe Reg to do things by dragging me into it...

Sitara: Hey, you leaving? Wrench: ...yeah, why? Sitara: Can you get me a coffee while you’re out? Wrench: Wh-? Why should I get you-? Sitara: I bet Rachel would like you doing something like that, y’know. Wrench: .....That’s cruel. You’re cruel. Sitara: I know~! You know how I like it, thank you, and Rachel loves you. Wrench: [sputters audibly and shuffles out the door, muttering to himself, embarrassed]

They don’t do a LOT of crimes anymore, but... Definitely still fuck shit up w/ cops. Reg daydreams a shitton about a masked romance and the anarchy we could commit together... After all, I helped him be braver. So he could help me, too, and then..... So much glorious chaos. Maybe makeouts in his car...

Was literally the type to not give a SHIT about marriage or kids, but now nonstop thinks about our lives together. Anarchy and domestic lifestyle shit can coexist, right? We can be married, have our cute lil’ two story (three, if you count the attic AND a basement), and some kids.....and also go create anarchy and throw bricks at cop cars and cause so much damn trouble..... Right?

He’ll even get a CAT for our home. It’ll be our first kid and not only will he be SO COOL, but they’ll name her (yes, a girl) Princess Leia and I’ll probably cry in happiness!!

Reg is DETERMINED to be the best husband/boyfriend ever. Doesn’t matter which, cause whatever speed I’d like to go at? Hell yeah, he’s down for it. Just as long as he can still hold my hand and gush over how cute I am and-

Has gushed about me and my series before and WILL do so again, prompted or not.

Actually participated in the fandom a little. Mostly does reblogs and such, but has written a few stories (self-inserts are the majority), done some not too shabby art, and prides himself on being the BIGGEST fan of the series with all the merch he has AND commissions bought.

Made a select few friends who also are fans, but... Is constantly anxious about his self-shipping. Either that they might eventually think he’s weird, send more anon hate (he’s gotten some in the past for “being a creep”), or- worst yet- also self-ship with me and he’s still dealing with that idea.

Until then, he’s got a wedding ring he bought cheap at the jewelry section of some store, so.... Coping skills, babey.

[owlhillproductions-blog]

Let the art shine through

Fair to say, I have never considered myself an artist. Growing up my mom clearly prioritized art and my exposure to it. In grade school, we had limited resources, and paying admission to the art museum was not in our budget. The Seattle Art Museum had one free day per month, the first Thursday of the month, during the school day, it was free to go to the museum. I always wondered why the free days were in the middle of the week, when kids were supposed to be in school, instead of on a Saturday or a Sunday when more people could go. So every month, my mother would pull me out of school to go to the art museum. In Hawaii, we would go to the beach instead. She understood the relationship between nature and art. Over the years many teachers complained that I was missing school, but my mom was quite clear, she said I was learning more from going to the museum and other unique experiences than I would learn sitting at school. She was right. In the time before the internet and cell phones, I saw a whole new world inside museums and on a variety of outdoor adventures. It instilled in me a strong desire to travel to see art in its original environment.

When I finally got my dream to travel to Europe at 21, the summer before I started medical school, I was on a strict budget. Alas, there were no free days when I got there so all of my “spare cash” went entirely to museum admissions! 30 years later I still remember the art I was exposed to on that first trip. Certain pieces/places are burned in my memory: Monet’s waterlilies -full panels, displayed in on oval room at the Musée de l'Orangerie or an entire museum just for Rodin. Everywhere I went I met people from all over the world who had come together to witness a certain piece or place of art. The desire to make art, see art, and interact with art crosses cultural boundary’s and can bring us all together.

Then I entered medical school. In the 90’s medical school did not teach you how to be healthy or how to live a balanced life. Instead, there was a firehose of information to be memorized so when you got out you could “first do no harm” and then do your best. This does not leave a lot of time for eating well, exercising or supporting your spirit by exploring a world of art. Despite this, I found every opportunity to check in on my local museums and traveling exhibits, in those years it was often when my mom or family came to visit. I started collecting art from the places I visited and from friends and family that were artists. My mom always encouraged me to do art when we were visiting together. I was often reluctant as she was clearly good at whatever we were trying to make and I was perpetually learning and never really liked the results. But she could get me to try and it was always fun.

In 1999, I moved to Boston and by happenstance joined Dr. Arthur Wills, III in his downtown medical practice. Dr. Wills was a true supporter of the arts and the entire office was floor to ceiling original art from 5 artists he helped. This was the most visible link between art and the practice of medicine outside of anatomy drawings that I had seen. Working among original works of art had a positive effect on my practice of medicine. I feel the unique surroundings supported my individual style of medicine. I started to have some free time and hosted art nights for my friends. I loved collage, lacking the confidence to paint, but cut and paste felt adventurous in its own way. I was still feeling confined by traditional boundaries, art still felt like something primarily to be admired or pondered.

Then my brother, niece and nephew stepped in. In 2005, each for their own reason, they wanted me to go to Burning Man. After 6 months, they finally convinced me to brave the desert environment, in those years you could get a ticket at the gate and drive right in. My understanding of art cosmically shifted. Burning man allowed me to see the magic of interaction. I had grown up on with museums steeped with seriousness and reverence and sign after sign of “do not touch.” Finally I had found a culture of artists making creations that could be used or played with. Function and form merged around me and I could see art everywhere. Space was art. Some pieces only worked with your participation and some were planned to be enjoyed only in the moment. At Burning Man nothing would be left to sit in a museum. Fire and ash make art. Ultimately, experience itself is art. I was finally home.

Many years have past and I am now surrounded by a family of artists. I am a muse for my love Finn and have co-created many pieces of public art. My daughters continue to talk me into “trying” and I am a little less hard on myself in looking at my own creations. We have created an oasis here on Owl Hill. We have space to create and the rest is filled with works of art, some you can use and play with, a few are just to look at. I surround myself with creations at in my office as well. One of my exam rooms has two of my mom’s paintings of her backyard in Indianola. Everyday I sit in that room as I see people and am reminded of my mom, I can even smell the cedars if I stare at the paintings and pause long enough. My second room has local art that inspires me. I often speak to my patients about public art and creative use of public spaces. I feel I am a better physician because of my exposure to a wide variety of art and of self expression. Art helps me see creative solutions for promoting healthy life choices.

There is art in my medicine, but medicine is not my art. My art comes through in the creative ways I continually find to communicate medical knowledge to everyone individually. There is the artistic dance between multiple pressures of cost, insurance, and quality leading to a struggle to provide the best care to everyone equally. That I still do this with a smile is a testament to my ability for the art of acting. To see this you would have to come to my office. Instead, I will use these pages to share the alternative ways I have found for self-expression, through stories, videos and photos. I hope to share some of my roots, my current work and my future dreams. I think life feels fuller, more connected and more meaningful when I can let the art shine through.

Love and light,

Parra

[amplesalty]

Christmas 2019: Day 7 - A Christmas Carol: The Musical (2004)

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Seven dancing bankers!

This has always stood out as something of a sore thumb amongst the prospective Christmas Carol choices I could watch and, given some of other films on this year’s list, this is as good a time as any to look at it.

Directly comparing it to those, it doesn’t get close to that same feeling of a total tonal shift. But, it’s perhaps not massively out of place anyway given that there are moments of song and dance in a traditional Christmas Carol, be it Fezziwigg’s Christmas Ball or the fun and games at Fred’s house.

For a story all about instilling the Christmas spirit in one person in particular, it’s not just Scrooge lacking in it as the film begins; street urchins are pickpocketing the wealthy, kids are stealing from the cart of the rag and bone man and blind beggars are wilfully ignored.

Well, the joys of Christmas might be lost on the filthy but at least the filthy rich at the exchange are celebrating and enjoying the season. That is until that miserly old Scrooge turns up.

Whilst the casting of Kelsey Grammer as Scrooge is a good one, especially when it comes to the singing parts, it almost feels like his performance early on is bordering on parody. He just has this permanent sneer and eyes that seem to be welded nearly completely shut like this is Mr Magoo’s Christmas Carol. Yeah, that’s still on the list somewhere...

Still, that sneer lends an extra layer to his interaction with the charity collectors who catch up with him much earlier in this version. Rather than just talk to him normally, they sing their intentions to collect for the needy and it makes me interpret his contemptuous look less as him not wanting to be philanthropic and more that he’s confused as to why these weirdoes are singing to him. No one in musicals ever seems aware that all their conversations seem to take place melodically.

It does take a bit of the sting out of some of Scrooge’s wicked remarks to hear him speak in rhyme. “I abhor how they whine, how they want whatever’s mine. Why should I give a thing for free? Let them beg til they’re blue, it has nothing to do with me. I say, let them die and decrease the surplus population.”

On the reverse though, the Marley scene is really strange and takes what is usually dramatic and adds some humour, mostly from the casting of Jason Alexander who brings comedic tone to the whole thing through his delivery and physical performance. There’s a degree of comic mischief going on as he summons these other spirits to scare Scrooge and the odd lyric that seem to poke fun at his fettered situation:

Stacking up my silver and my bits of gold, filling up my vault when day was done! Well, vaults are made of lead and cash is very cold! And around your neck they weigh a bloody ton!

Still, there’s some sense of humanity to it I’ve not seen in other versions. For instance, I think it’s the first time I think I’ve seen Marley actually hug Scrooge even if Scrooge isn’t receptive to it. It speaks to the friendship they had before and the relief that Marley must feel now that he’s been able to finally appear to Scrooge after his many attempts before.

It’s a fun song and perhaps one of the few standouts throughout the whole film. Maybe that’s just my tastes or maybe it’s that most of the other songs feel really generic talking about your standard happiness and festive cheer type of stuff.

Or, in the case of the Cratchit’s, a number about how Bob doesn’t need a fortune, all he needs is his family. Looking at Tiny Tim makes him feel as rich as a king and he means more to him than anything. And he sings this in front of his whole family! It’s like Bob Cratchit is just destined to say well intentioned things but ultimately demean the rest of his family.

I didn’t think it was possible to make Tiny Tim any more sympathetic but adding a leg brace manages to do the job.

They show him and his father head out to buy the bird for Christmas dinner, not the prize turkey in the poulterer’s window and not the traditional goose. Just a chicken, a small one. There’s something amusing about the fact that they actually took the time to foreshadow the turkey as if it’s not surprising enough just that Scrooge buys it for the Cratchit family come the end of the movie. They have to be teased by it first, shown what they could have had if only things were different before having to settle.

Jane Krakowski shows up as the Ghost of Christmas Past, I didn’t touch on this but she played the teacher in the Christmas Story musical so that’s just another link.

She’s really good and looks very glamorous here but is it weird that I find her more attractive in the newsie look she has when she shows up earlier in the movie, filling in for her sick husband in his job lighting all the street lamps in town? Maybe it’s the sense of coyness with her slightly obscured behind the brim of the cap or that whole women in men’s shirts sorta thing.

The gimmick here is that Scrooge runs into the spirits at the start of the movie in the everyday world, Present is advertising a show and Yet to Come is a blind beggar woman. To me, this throws in this shade of grey element to proceedings. It’s a very fantastical idea for some other worldly power to send these three spirits to help Scrooge redeem himself but having the three spirits be entirely different actors locks them into being that. But, Scrooge has always talked about how his run in with Marley might just be a trick of the mind; a crumb of mouldy cheese or an underdone turnip. Maybe the negative run ins Scrooge had with these three earlier in the day triggered something in his mind and it’s projecting their images in order to help him process these feelings of wanting to better himself.

For all the sweetness and light on the exterior of Past, she really goes in on showing Scrooge the trauma of his earlier life. It’s like an origin story of his miserly ways as we go all the way back to his childhood and a day in court as his father is sentenced to prison for failing to pay his debts. As he’s ushered away, he urges Scrooge to learn from his mistakes, to earn his fortune and to keep it.

Plus we actually get to see the death of Marley who complains of feeling faint and needing to retire early for the day but not even managing to make it to the front door of their offices before collapsing. Again, even in this morbid way, it brings some tenderness to see Scrooge’s sadness at having to relive the passing of who he describes as his only friend. Plus we can’t forget the one constant of these flashbacks, his fiancé calls off their impeding nuptuals due to him becoming obsessed only with money, a fiancé played by Jennifer Love Hewitt no less. Combine all these together and maybe Scrooge isn’t the way he is because he thinks only of himself and his own wealth, maybe he’s just scared to let anyone is because everyone he ever loves seems to leave him. Father in prison, Mother dies shortly after, separated from his sister and she dies too, fiancé ditches him and his only friend dies as well.

I always saw Present as the more uncharacteristically mean spirited one but Past is pretty cold here to show him all these things. But, as she points out as Scrooge extinguishes her light, these are only the shadows of things that once were, they are what they are, don’t blame her. Aside from his usual rant at the end, Present is a little more mischevious here, his links with the Christmas show coming into play as she shoves a hapless Scrooge on stage amongst a bunch of dancing nutcrackers.

Casting a black actor in this role is a bit of a departure from the norm though. Part of me kept thought it was someone in blackface at first.

Yet to Come is a strange one as well, seemingly playing against the usual shadowy, cloaked figure you normally see. If anything, that’s what she looks like normally before she transforms into some sort of white, raggedy affair. It’s like if you were dressing someone as a snowflake or something.

We go into a graveyard scene where a number of grave diggers are singing a warning of Scrooge’s future; the sounds of hammers on his coffin, the voices of the people he never tried to save and the footsteps of them dancing on his grave. Quite chilling lyrics combined with an almost ritualistic scene of all these gravediggers working in rhythm and hooded figures leading the coffin procession. Along with Marley’s song, it’s a highlight of the soundtrack but they’re both well staged as well with lots of interesting imagery.

That whole shared misery thing at the start comes back with a vengeance when Old Joe shows up to buy Scrooge’s bed curtains. Scrooge’s house keeper promptly has her earnings wrenched from her hand, truly there is no honour amongst thieves.

Not quite as miserable as seeing the whole Cratchit family around Tiny Tim’s freshly made grave. The Muppets version with Piggy and Kermit mourning their dead son is pretty grim but this might potentially top it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this portrayed in any of the other versions, you normally get Bob returning from visiting the grave himself.

Poor family can’t even afford the T on the cross marking his grave. Or is that just the name of the impeding Christmas Carol shared universe origin story of Bob Cratchit; I’m Cratchit.

And whilst it lacks the out of body experiences what Patrick Stewart and Alistair Sim went through upon awaking back in the real world, the lack of dancing can perhaps be forgiven in the face of what has been an hour and a half of singing and dancing. Instead, we reflect back on the start of the movie as Scrooge has now learned to keep Christmas in his heart and that ‘it all has to do with me!’. Having experienced similar in the Christmas Story musical, I guess this is traditional to reprise certain songs throughout the show but at times it gets a little tedious to me. That might just be some bad examples here though because in Christmas Story it was just adding to the feeling of it dragging and here it’s using songs that aren’t the best. This specific example I liked though, it wraps up the arc that Scrooge has gone through and underlines the change in his character.

With the musical aspect being it’s selling point and most of its musical numbers not being very entertaining, this probably ranks amongst the weaker of the Christmas Carol adaptations I’ve seen but as these things often do, it’s added its own little elements to the story that have made me look at Scrooge in a different way.

[thespace-dragon]

Oh heyyyy there, guess who still writes?? xD

Anyway this was for a zine that fell through, but i still had fun with making this piece. There is art that goes with from my awesome friend @clockworkgalaxies and you can find the art here!

Title: The Fae Ring WC: 2470 Summary: You know those places where time doesn't flow right? Or the random pebble circles out in the middle of the forest? Allura had been told her whole life to stay away from the faerie ring, but when her father went missing, something had to change.

For decades, maybe even centuries, the village of Valley Ring lived by the rules. Live within your means, don't go seeking out trouble, don't get involved in trouble, don't go to the faery circle. Ever. Don't even think of it. Those who went to the faery circle were cursed, never able to find their way home.

Or so they said.

Allura didn't quite believe it all, she knew that the faery circle couldn't be trusted, never to take it for granted or to think that it was just a circle of pebbles. No, it was something to be respected, but not to be feared.

Her father told her that once. Before he never came back from it. Abandoning her to the rules of the town. For a time, she hated him for it, swearing to let that fiery anger lead her to him and bring him home. They all called her the "Cursed Daughter", the one destined to follow in his footsteps. They stared at her, kept their distance, even going as far as to blatantly ignore her--as if she didn't exist, that she wasn't there, the entire sense of the word. For years, she dealt with this, years . From the time she was ten years old to the time she was sixteen and of marriageable age. And it was only then that they started to interact with her again.

During that time she came to the realization that her father hadn't meant to leave her behind. Father Zarkon and Mother Honerva had told her multiple times that he loved her, Alfor wouldn't abandon her when she was the only person left in their family. The Oriande name had been smeared since her birth mother died in childbirth, and when her father, Alfor, had been touched by the faery ring and then again when he disappeared into the woods one day. It was only to go mushroom hunting for his alchemy. Mushrooms, of all things! He had been missing for six, almost seven years, and it was then that her anger faded to a dull ache in her heart, locked away into the deepest parts of her being. Best to keep it there where she wouldn't let it get to her.

She sighed, scrubbing a hand down her face before returning to the laundry. Allura always did her best with what she was tasked, but more often than not, she was catching herself daydreaming and thinking back on her father. Their home was still on the outskirts of the village, standing alone and collecting dust and ivy.

Pinning the last sheet onto the wire as she came to a decision, Allura knew that she needed to go to her old home before Mother Honerva called her in to make dinner. Father Zarkon would often tell her about Alfor's alchemy, the different theories that he had before he vanished. And if often piqued her interest, just enough that she was certain that she might find Alfor if she had some of his journals. And her instincts were telling her that she needed to have those books, something about them was important.

Allura quickly packed up the basket and the leftover clothespins, dropping them off at the back of the house, right on the stoop where Mother Honerva expected them to be. With the sun out and the breeze wafting through the valley town, Allura was certain that the clothes would be dry before Mother Honerva even came back to the house. At that point, Allura had plans that she would already be at her old home.

She wanted to know... to know what happened, to know where her father went, who took him, why they did. His notes had to have something that could help, right? They had to.

Allura dropped her smock into the basket and headed out for her old home -- her only true home if she was being honest with herself. Her hair stuck to the back of her neck in the stubborn heat, the breeze hardly being anything worth noting. It'll help the clothes dry, but other than that? Not much else. She gathered her hair into a sloppy tie, locks of hair falling out and framing her face as she walked out of the town.

Her previous home was on the outskirts of town, ivy climbing up the walls and nearly covering the windows at this point--it has been six years since anyone has gone near it. Allura tugged on a lock near her ear as she steadily got closer to the structure.

Just as she thought, the building was starting to show its age; ivy covered nearly all of the russet brick, dust fogged over the windows, the frame of the doorway sagged and matched the roof as it pitched inward. The building had certainly seen better days, but Allura knew that she wouldn't have any time restoring it between the chores Mother Honerva tasks her with and evading the various marriage offers that came her way. Allura wrinkled her nose at the thought. No, marriage was definitely not something that she wanted to entertain at this point in her life. Lotor had the same opinion on the matter, but she didn't see Mother Honerva going out of her way to point out the various girls in the village. Regardless, neither of them wanted to marry and the two of them had balked at the idea of marrying each other when Father Zarkon mentioned it. There were no romantic feelings between her and Lotor, it would only end up in an empty marriage.

Allura shook her head and narrowed her eyes at the front door of her childhood home. It was now or never. The structure was falling apart and if she didn't collect what she could today or tomorrow, there was no telling when the house would topple in on itself. She straightened her shoulders and took a step forward.

So, the princess wants to find her father, eh?

Wind curled around her, almost as if there was a hand trailing from her cheek down to her collarbone.

Such a pretty little thing you are, Princess... why would you come to visit little ol' me out in the woods?

Forest spirits? Did it have something to do with the faery ring not more than five-minute walk from her home?

Oh no, dear Princess, that ring was claimed long, long, long ago. The one claimed it has long since left. He followed after your example, you know.

Allura didn't know how to respond. The wind brushed her arms and teased her hair as she stood there, frozen with fear. This wasn't supposed to happen, this wasn't something that she had planned for... what was happening?

The air tightened its grip on her, causing her to suck in a final breath as it held her in place, still whispering in her ear.

He won't be here to save you now, sweet little princess... not when you abandoned him and your father trespassed in our domain... what a tragedy.

She could almost see a figure circling her, the leaves and various sticks and twigs from the forest floor whipping around in the wind. Fear gripped at her. No one said that there was a spirit at her childhood home! Not even a mention of a malicious one that haunted the grounds and the forest.

Her chest was beginning to tighten, her lungs burning as she strained to expand them. She needed air--desperately! Was this what drowning felt like? Was this going to be the end of her?

“I am beginning to think that you are envious of the people I pick, beautiful,” an ethereal voice wafted in, cutting through the suffocating air and suddenly she could breathe.

Allura gasped and stumbled away from her childhood home, nearly falling on her knees as she coughed and sucked in air. She was bent over her knees, eyes watering. As she blinked away the tears, a pair of boots appeared in front of her and a hand rested on the back of her head.

...what was going on?

Looking upward, her eyes were met with a set of crystalline blue eyes, the corners crinkled in a gentle smile. They were unimaginably bright, so clear that they looked like the sky on a mid summer's day.

"W-who... who are you?" she whispered, fighting her buckling knees to keep herself on her feet.

The eyes flashed and slowly she was able to focus on the rest of the person that they came with. Tan skin, warm -- almost as if they were the embodiment of the warmth of a fireplace. Beyond the eyes, she could see a face that was made for smiling, perfect cheekbones that accentuated every quirk of the full lips that pulled her attention to them whenever they moved. Their eyes pulled her attention back to them with an easy wink. She could feel the complete alluring air about this person that made her want to be with them.

But all that disappeared as the eyes moved away from her, focusing on something that was behind her briefly, and once again, that captivating feeling overwhelmed her and this time her knees did collapse, and she fell to the ground.

His shoes were the simplest part of his whole outfit, only covering the soles of his feet, but a light fabric that enclosed his feet. His pants only came down to his calves, something about the fabric was otherworldly--it shifted colors in ways that weren’t possible, not unless they were--

Allura raised her head and just as her mind came to its conclusion… her eyes saw what she never thought she would ever see.

Wings .

What she saw were wings. Shimmering and sparkling lightly as the faery spoke with the wind spirit.

“Now that we aren’t trying to kill anyone anymore, how about we talk this over peacefully, yes?” The fae said, lips curling into a coy smile.

The wind spirit glowered at the fae, wind whipping around and creating the image of a disgruntled person as they crossed their arms and gave the fae an unamused look. Why deny me this fun? As soon as she stopped breathing, I would have let her go.

Wings fluttered in front of her and Allura blinked, looking up at the fae and spirit in disbelief. “You wanted me to die?”

This is my home, you entered it without permission.

A hand entered her vision, splayed out as the wings quivered. “From what I understand,” the fae began, his voice melodious and its timbre resonating around them, “This is not, and was not, a place for you to inhabit. My circle is essentially in this home’s backyard.”

Allura watched as the wind spirit hissed and vanished from view, the leaves swirling to the ground in its wake. Her mouth was agape as she watched the spirit disappear and the fae turn to her. He stood in front of her and held out his hand.

“So, princess,” he purred, lips still curled coquettishly, “shall we?”

Her mouth flopped around like a fish, words tumbling out as she unsteadily found her feet. “S-shall-shall we w-what?”

The fae laughed, grasping her elbow as she wavered upright. “Shall we go find what you were searching for, yes? You are the owner of this building, no?”

Allura blinked owlishly at the fae. “H-how…?” she asked, shocked and unnerved that this... creature knew that this was her old home.

“Come now, princess, there are not many people who have shock white hair naturally. You are the daughter of the alchemist, the family resemblance is uncanny.” He gestured to the home. “Go, the path is clear and this is your point of origin, claim it.”

Allura glanced back and forth between the house and the fae, cautiously stepping away from him. “Will you stay to make sure of that?” She didn’t know why she asked that, but her near-death experience from the wind spirit left her shaken and nervous -- the forest wasn’t as safe as it seemed from her childhood and the change was unsettling.

The fae shrugged, smile never leaving his face. “Depends, every gift requires something in return.”

Her instincts immediately told her to run, to leave the house and ever return, but he knew something about her and she knew nothing about him. That wasn’t fair,  was it? Allura chewed her lip and looked back and forth between the fae and her old home, struggling to make a decision.

“...what if--what if I ask that of you next time,” she proposed, voicing her thoughts deliberately.

The creature hummed, tilting his head and peering at her with open curiosity. “Go on.”

Her heart pounded in her chest as she continued, “And you know where I come from, it would be a fair assumption that I get to know where you come from.”

The fae blinked once, twice before his smiled crawled across his face, teeth blindingly white and his canines slightly pointed. “I can show you right now if you would like?” he asked, offering her a hand.

Allura stared at his hand, not quite sure what to do. Her instincts were telling her to run and to stay at the same time, the conflicting emotions roiled within her to the point where she felt that she would bubble over with indecisiveness. Hesitantly, she reached out, only to pause at the last second. “What may I call you?” she blurted, eyes wide and uncertain.

The creature’s smile glinted -- glinted in such a way that Allura couldn’t tell which was what anymore. “You can call me Lance, for the time being, princess. And what shall I call you?” Allura knew better than to give her true name, but what other name was she used to? At this point, it was best to just go with what he was calling her.

“...Princess is fine.”

The smile shined brighter than it ever had during this whole interaction. “Well, then, Princess, shall I show you where I come from?” His hand was still outstretched to her, and hers to his.

After a few more seconds, she gently touched her fingers to the palm of his hand, and from that moment on, Allura Oriande of Valley Ring vanished from existence.

The books that wasted away in the Oriande home faded away to dust, and the home crumbled in on itself before the village knew of her disappearance. Almost as if the house was waiting for her to return to meet this fae, Lance, as he calls himself. Taking after her father Alfor, Allura was never to be seen again, and the village’s story of the faery ring began anew, telling the tale of the Alchemist and the Princess that disappeared when they took the hand of a fae.

[wolf-in-a-suit]

Employee of the month

Movie:Star Wars

Summary: Somehow you had found your way, however unwillingly, on Starkiller base. Barely recovered from this unforgivable disruption of your life General Hux starts taking notice of your defiant actions against fellow colleagues and a certain black clad Sith: That’s gonna be fun!

Starkiller base, the pride of the whole first order. Here you only found the best, of the best in their respected fields. Technicians who fixed any arising problem as soon as they laid hands on their ‘most holy tools’. Stormtroopers decorated for their services, and in peak physical condition. What you usually didn't expect to find was:

Boredom. Utter, crippling boredom. You were transferred here against your will to your utmost horror -your former superior, bearer of the bad news, probably still hadn’t regained all of his hearing. Though, it wasn’t the boredom in your job as a radar technician that was the cause of your anxiety - you were used to your job not posing a challenge: but the people. Three thousand four-hundred six to be exact. Just thinking about the astronomic number caused your stomach to plunge way down onto the perfectly cleaned floor, the maintenance team was the best of the galaxy as well. At your old station you had to fight awkward conversations and sleepless nights just dealing with one hundred colleagues. This, was the stuff of nightmares.

The weeks passed with moderate embarrassment and you soon found the merits of inhabiting such a big chunk of metal, floating in the vacuum of space. No one cared about you just stealing away from conversations and never leaving your station, except for an absolute necessary repair job. Until of course, someone noticed and your perfect constructed monotony was violently interrupted.

The humming of the instruments in the dimmed lights, the sole indication that it was nightshift, soothed your usually racked nerves. Nightshift was great because it only required one technician on duty, you were only too eager to take the shift from your complaining coworkers. All was as it was supposed to be: You, your instruments, and a hot cup of coffee in your hands. Paradise - however short lived. The marching of boots echoed down the hall outside your cozy station. Nothing unusual, yet like always your gut clenched and your head seemed to have a hitch in your record collection: 'Not here, not here. Not here!' The urgent footsteps passed and dropped in volume, you released your breath.

Suddenly, the echo came to a violent halt and after a second the the marching was back and gained in volume. You groaned inwardly while trying to set your face into ‘human interaction mode’, which consisted of a somewhat I'm-not-quite-sure-if-a-smile-is-appropriate expression. If you ever managed to force a facsimile of a smile on your face, it was certainly gone when General Hux entered the room. Clad all in black, from feet to collar, his red hair posed a stark contrast to his white face: Dressed for business. Though, not very tall he always radiated and inspired a fear in his subordinates.

Gathering your, rather small composure to begin with, you tried to stand at attention. The hand was supposed to go to the side, no that wasn’t right... like this, still not right... how did the Troopers make this seem so natural?

Hux witnessing your pathetic struggle didn't need to comment, his face first annoyed morphed into wonder at the complete lack of any form for elegance.

Finally you settled into an awkward position between a formal greeting and a child trying to copy a soldier, he took a deep breath stifling his annoyance: "You are hereby required to participate in the COFO program."

Silence. Both of you mustering the other. Oh, this is where you were supposed to acknowledge the demand, right? Unsettled by your silent stare, the General began to speak: "Did you-", right when you blurted out: "COFO program?" Once again there was a stalemate, Hux mustering you, trying to decide if you were making fun of him. 'Not good!' Just one way to turn this ship around, however, daring it may be! "Sir." you added lamely. At this the General seemed to set your tribunal on hold, no person would degrade themselves like this, in order to joke around.

"Cooperation of fellow officers, while your outstanding work has been noted-" here he looked very doubtful, certainly due to the great first impression you just made "your superiors have informed me that you tend to seclude yourself. This is unacceptable! In order to function on full capacity, interaction is required." At the word interaction you gulped audibly. "The program was created to foster this type of skill. Tuesday, 0800 room 394, do not be late!"

He turned, his coat giving an elegant furnish, and left you in the crumbling remains of your former little world.

If General Hux had been aware of what he just set in motion, he would gladly offered you a post on starbase 42, the most secluded base of the whole quadrant.

The first impression you formed about the COFO wasn't necessary a good one. At 0800 sharp, all the social delinquents had gathered in a too white room - the First Order’s understanding of a welcoming and warm color. Then the pairing began and your sweat glands took this as an invitation to go into overdrive. Finally, you stood face to face with your interaction partner: Gary a bored looking Stormtrooper, sporting slightly red eyes. "N...nice to ...meet you?" But the grimace, stretching uncontrollably on your face, spoke clearer words: 'Having an intestinal parasite would be better than this!'

Gary, just shrugged his shoulders. "Guess we're stuck with each other."

The days passed, and somehow you made it through a whole week of the program, with minimal awkwardness. Quite a feat! By now, you were sure, that if someone was to search for the definition of 'laidback' in the dictionary a picture of Gary, slouching somewhere, was included. Strengthened by not being swallowed by the earth yet, you felt brave enough to face the cafeteria at gamma shift tonight. Standing in line, musing what you should take: The gray puddle with pieces in it, or the brownish-reddish meat, at least you hoped that’s what it was supposed to be? Apparently the ‘best of the best’ motto didn’t include the kitchen personnel. The chain of your thoughts was broken by men’s laughter. "Come on Gary, what’s your hippy ass saying over the next mission?" Craning your neck, Gary and his tormentors fell into your line of vision. Never had you seen the man this uncomfortable, but the other Stormtroopers just grinned even wider enjoying this immensely.

"Come on guys, knock it off." Gary berated himself for choosing exactly this time to grab a late dinner. In the corner of his eye he saw movement, the flash of a data pad and... darkness engulfed the whole cantina. The few tired persons present started murmuring and shouting. Gary almost cried out when in the pitch black, a hand found his and started to drag him off, to an unknown destination, but something about the clunky ungraceful movements put him at ease. 'Just roll with it.'

When he and his mysterious savior- or possible serial killer- burst into the light of the corridor he finally saw the woman from the program. After a few more turns they came to a stop and she slowly turned around. She dropped his hand shocked, as if an evil spirit just had just been exorcised from her body and she just became aware of her actions. With her change in demeanor the old awkwardness bleed back into her moves and once again, each shift of arms made them look too long for her frame.

Her head turned down, eyes squinting over every perfectly boned floor tile, she mumbled: "S...sorry?"

"Dude!" She flinched at the too loud and enthusiastic voice. "What you're sayin' sorry for? That was awesome!" He never knew that eyes could get that big, but here they were: Looking at him in a wonder that somehow made his insides turn, too fragile. Add a bulky Stormtrooper with a loose mouth like him and it simply spelled disaster. He shrugged 'Since when did I ever give a shit about something like that?'

In that very moment, in a somewhat dimly lit corner of Starkiller base a Stormtrooper and Radar technician formed an unholy bond that would let chaos and mayhem rain down upon their enemies.

"And then Ren just started screaming at us and trashing the whole room! Guess who the lucky fella on cleaning duty is." Gary's arms, still in uniform, surged through the air. He was an exotic bird visiting the mundane planes of existence: Namely the gray walled radar technicians work station- much to the annoyance of Matt, your coworker. He currently was shooting glares like laser beams at the interruption of his most holy and cherished routine. When the object of his continued affectionate thoughts didn't melt into a puddle under his scrutiny, he huffed and stalked out of the room. Leaving Gary and you alone, not even taking notice of his departure. Ideas shifted in your head, turning, grinding against each other and finally: Clack, something stuck!

When you looked at your friend a new gleam ignited in your eyes, pregnant with the promise of danger, but also excitement. "So let's pay him back." Your voice was bar any stutter or insecurity. Gary felt a cold shiver running down his spine, he wasn't quite sure if he liked the change.

General Hux strode through the polished corridors, personnel squirting around him and parting to let him pass. A sharp turn right and he reached the cantina, bend on getting his exact one o'clock lunch. When his eyes caught sight of dark billowing robes, it took all his discipline not to groan in a- very much warranted- but undignified manner. Kylo Ren! Twenty-four hours in a day, and the insufferable man just had to pick this exact time to get his coffee.

Gracing the Sith with an aggressive ruck of his head, just barley balancing the rope of civility, the General strode to the counter. He stopped and turned however, when a storm of cursing accompanied by the sound of liquid spraying out onto the floor reached his ears. The powerful Kylo Ren, Sith, leader of the knights of Ren, and protégé of Snoke himself was helplessly trying shield himself against the dark spray of coffee erupting from the machine. When he finally managed to vacate the area of danger, slipping more than walking on the steaming liquid on the floor. Hux was sure the sight before him was a gift delivered by whatever force resided in the universe. The dark knight was seething, black hair plastered to his red face and robes dripping.

The cantina was very still, no one dared to ridicule the man any further for fear of being cut down. Hux however had no qualms of walking up to his 'partner', mustering his drenched form slowly. His face perfectly straight, only the rising eyebrow indication of his thoughts. "Do try to keep the floor clean, Ren." Then he turned and exited, the loss of lunch not bugging him in the least.

For the rest of the day General Hux's staff was constantly on edge- Hux in a good mood? It had to be a trick, or drill! At first the General had simply thought himself lucky, in having witnessed the total mortification on Kylo Ren that afternoon, but when reports of a group of Stormtroopers running around in their underwear, due to a malfunctioning capacitor in the locker system his suspicion started to rise.

The monitor before him spluttered out all data of the last month, and his sharp eyes narrowed. That's what he thought! This particular band of Troopers had been victim to quite a few of these irregularities occurring on base. First, their entrance codes stopped working, leaving them to spend half of the night in front of the barracks, then their new arriving uniforms were several sizes too small, followed now by this ridiculous display of running around almost naked. A disgrace! He wouldn't stand for the First Order being the point of jokes due to these misfits! 'Time to visit the troops.' With that last thought the ginger wrath of the Order descended on the unfortunate souls.

Just a few more steps! You sat by the ledge of the upper section of the training room, hidden by a crate and fixing your next victims with a killer stare. Captain Phasma and Kylo Ren strode down the aisle, with the constant air of an imposing couple of regents. However, they were unaware that they were just three steps between them and their new makeover. “Get down on the floor and show me some real pushups!” Phasma raged, her silver armor making her easy spotable against the backdrop of oppressive black walls. Ren followed suite: “What is this embarrassing display of drills supposed to be!? The rebels won’t be impressed by this!” His mask while obscuring a most certainly murderous expression did little to ease the sting, so the two Troopers in question hastily altered their movements.

The prepared maintenance droid - ‘of doom’ as Gary helpfully added, each time the two of you spoke about the mission in hushed whispers – slowly rolled down the room toward the, self-proclaimed, pair of drill sergeants. “That has to be much faster, if-” Kylo stopped mid yell, when he felt a sudden nudge on his leg. Starring down he was greeted by a small maintenance droid rolling again, and again against his leg, the big lense occupying the front, making it look almost like a loyal, innocent - but somewhat retarded puppy.

“Shush!” Captain Phasma turned around and was astonished by the scene unfolding before her: Kylo Ren, was trying to get the the small machine away from himself, but somehow the little guy managed to evade all of his kicks. Sighing she strode over, bend on grabbing the thing and chucking it down the trash compactor. This certainly wasn’t very beneficial for their image. A strong hierarchy was founded on discipline, and discipline was only gained by respecting as well as fearing your superiors. Which was arguably hard at the moment, Phasma had to admit, when Ren grabbed his lightsaber and ignited it, the angry hiss of plasma filling the room.

General Hux choose this exact moment to stride into the room. The scene before him couldn’t have been a more unfitting display for commanding officers: His Capitan crouched down, in order to make a grab for a small droid at the feet of Kylo Ren. Meanwhile, the Sith was raising his red lightsaber threatening over his head, ready to strike down the malfunctioning disturbance. Hux lips thinned to a small line, annoyance along with a headache rising in him. Just when he was about to gift his ‘colleagues’ with scathing remarks:

Boom! The middle of the room erupted in a cloud of pink dust and glitter. The remains of the machine squirting to a halt directly before the General’s feet. The following silence was far too loud. The last part of golden glitter glided to the ground, giving a free view on a, now, very pink robed and armored Captain and Sith. “Who was THIS!?” The golden pieces of paper floating down Ren’s shoulders did little to accent his intimidating roar. He turned, robes billowing and emitting a new pink gust, the hand gripping his lightsaber with even more force now. Hux had to commend the Troops for their stoic expressions, stifling every snicker, for it would most certainly be their last.

In the corner of his vision the General caught sight of a face on the landing above, quickly vanishing behind a stack of crates. ‘Found you!’

Clack, clack. Your hurried footsteps leading you to the security of your station resonated in a scarry manner from the halls. This was bad! You were so screwed! But once the initial burst of panic had passed, you realized something: ‘Why do I even care? From the very start I wanted to find a way out of this garbage station?’ This was your ticket to freedom! A sweet way into the secluded confines of Station 42. Granted, you had to avoid being disciplined by Phasma - and being killed by Ren, but once Hux found you, you were certain, the only thing to expect was a degradation and being thrown off the base. Your goal from the moment you said foot on this godforsaken piece of space litter.

Still you couldn’t fight the flinch when the General sporting his most terrifying expression, reserved only for the most serious of transgression, strode into the radar technician’s office. He didn’t stop at an arm’s length though, and kept invading your privet space, coming to a standstill just directly before your face. In this moment you could have sworn, that he could melt steel with the intensity of that glare. His voice however was even and quiet, which made it all the more terrifying: “So, we have a joker amongst our crew, have we?” You choose the only reasonable position someone was allowed to take if they weren’t sorry at all: Eyes cast down, regarding your feet and mumbling a not so heartfelt “I am very sorry, sir.”

Couldn’t he back off a little? You felt the heat radiating from him, but did not dare to move even an inch. “Sorry, doesn’t cut it for humiliating your superiors! In one case more than once!” You flinched again. “So the appropiate punishment is…” At this you looked up a hopeful gleam in your eyes, which was however, short lived once you caught sight of his cold, blue stare and the knowing smile creeping on his face. “… a transfer to…” ‘Yes, say it! Station 42!’ “… my personal staff!”

‘Wait… what?!” There was no need to pose a question, your flaggerbasted expression, complete with a slack jaw did the job for you. The grin on the ginger man’s face had an almost feral quality to it. “You don’t think I am going to accommodate your wish to get transferred from this base, now, do you?! Also, there is no way I am going to leave…” here he leaned in even further, your noses almost touching and whispered: “… such talent go to waste!” As fast as he had entered he turned on his heels and strode out. His farewell tinted with a somewhat dark humorous manner, made your skin crawl: “Monday, 0800, my office. You should start to make yourself comfortable… in your new home.”

[gffa]

There are a lot of STAR WARS novels out there and that’s a really great thing, I would honestly be happy reading 90% nothing but SW books, given how good they are! But it can be a lot to navigate and sometimes you just want to know if one is worth putting at the top of your To Read list or not! SO HERE’S SOME CRYING ABOUT SW BOOKS. BECAUSE THEY ARE SO GOOD. STAR WARS NOVELS RECS: ✦ The Legends of Luke Skywalker by Ken Liu, luke & ocs, 432 pages    As a cargo ship rockets across the galaxy to Canto Bight, the deckhands on board trade stories about legendary Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker. But are the stories of iconic and mysterious Luke Skywalker true, or merely tall tales passed from one corner of the galaxy to another? ✦ From a Certain Point of View by [various authors], a new hope cast, 496 pages    Every scene is told from the point of view of a background character. Whether it’s the X-wing pilots who helped Luke destroy the Death Star or the stormtroopers who never quite could find the droids they were looking for, Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View places the classic movie in a whole new perspective. ✦ Star Wars Propaganda: A History of Persuasive Art in the Galaxy by Pablo Hidalgo, entire cast, 112 pages    Whether it’s a Star Destroyer hovering over a planet or an X-wing delivering a message of resistance, propaganda images have become synonymous with life in the galaxy far, far away. This in-world art book explores the creation and stories behind these images of power and persuasion. ✦ The Last Jedi: Cobalt Squadron by Elizabeth Wein, rose & page & leia & cast, 224 pages    New characters from The Last Jedi, including mechanic Rose Tico and her gunner sister Paige, get the chance to shine in this hardcover adventure. ✦ Forces of Destiny: Daring Adventures, Volume 1, Volume 2, The Rey Chronicles, The Leia Chronicles by Emma Carlson Berne, rey & leia & padme & ahsoka & sabine & cast, ~120 pages each    The choices we make, the actions we take, the moments–both big and small–shape us into forces of destiny. ✦ Episode I Journal: Anakin Skywalker by Todd Strasser, obi-wan & anakin & padme & qui-gon & cast, ~112 pages    My name is Anakin Skywalker. This is my story. ✦ The Last Jedi: Expanded Edition by Jason Fry, rey & luke & leia & kylo & poe & finn & rose & cast, 336 pages    From the ashes of the Empire has arisen another threat to the galaxy’s freedom: the ruthless First Order. Fortunately, new heroes have emerged to take up arms—and perhaps lay down their lives—for the cause. ✦ Star Wars: The Last Jedi: A Junior Novel by Michael Kogge, rey & luke & leia & kylo & poe & finn & rose & cast, 208 pages    A junior novel retelling of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, with deleted and extended scenes, as well as exclusive scenes you won’t find anywhere else featuring Rey, Chewbacca, R2-D2, Finn, and more! ✦ Star Wars Psychology: Dark Side of the Mind by Travis Langley + others, luke & leia & anakin & obi-wan & yoda & cast, 320 pages    This essay collection offers a fascinating psychological analysis of the compelling and complex universe of George Lucas’s richly rendered Star Wars series. A group of expert contributors examines such topics as family ties, Jedi qualities, masculinity, girl power, and the values embodied in both the “dark” and “light” sides of this psychologically spellbinding world. ✦ Last Shot by Daniel José Older, han & lando & cast, 368 pages    It’s one of the galaxy’s most dangerous secrets: a mysterious transmitter with unknown power and a reward for its discovery that most could only dream of claiming. But those who fly the Millennium Falcon throughout its infamous history aren’t your average scoundrels. ✦ Most Wanted by Rae Carson, han & qi'ra & cast, 348 pages    Han and Qi'ra don’t have a lot in common other than not having a lot. They’re street kids on the industrial planet Corellia, doing whatever it takes to get by, dreaming of something more. full details + recs under the cut! 

STAR WARS NOVELS RECS: ✦ The Legends of Luke Skywalker by Ken Liu, luke & ocs, 432 pages    As a cargo ship rockets across the galaxy to Canto Bight, the deckhands on board trade stories about legendary Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker. But are the stories of iconic and mysterious Luke Skywalker true, or merely tall tales passed from one corner of the galaxy to another?    If you’ve checked out my tumblr, you’ll know I’ve done a fair amount of blogging about this book and one of the reasons it hit me so hard is that it came at exactly the right time I needed it, when The Last Jedi was coming out and I really craved some good Luke Skywalker characterization. I’ve always enjoyed his character, but this book really hit exactly the right notes for me in a way that was above and beyond what I expected! It’s a canon novel, but the way it’s told–as a handful of people telling second or third hand stories about Luke–means you can’t take everything quite at face value, but some of them are so Luke Skywalker that I could have cried with how well Ken Liu gets the character. All of the stories are at least reasonably fun to read, but “Fishing the Deluge”, “I, Droid”, and “Big Inside” are the three stellar stories that capture the heart and spirit of who Luke Skywalker is.    The main theme is Luke going around the galaxy, learning about it and the Force, trying to uncover lore about the Jedi after it was lost, and getting into adventures along the way. There’s a ton of great detail in there, some things that connect to other stories (the fishing he learns on Lew'el that we see in TLJ, the compass that’s been making appearances in various bits of Star Wars), as well as we get to see other cultures’ connections to the Force as Luke interacts with them and learns more. But it’s really that he’s so good and kind and noble, that he’s eager to learn and yet has such a strong sense of self, that he’s bright and brilliant and so very Jedi. It gave me so many feelings about how the Jedi’s spirit absolutely lives on through Luke here, as well as just plain gave me feelings about the character himself! It’s one of the absolute must-reads for those who are looking for anything with his character or to feel better if TLJ disappointed you, because this shows that Luke’s life wasn’t all misery. There is so, so much joy to be found here, especially in those three stories. (As well as some great Luke & Artoo friendship moments that had me crying over them again!) ✦ From a Certain Point of View by [various authors], a new hope cast, 496 pages    Every scene is told from the point of view of a background character. Whether it’s the X-wing pilots who helped Luke destroy the Death Star or the stormtroopers who never quite could find the droids they were looking for, Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View places the classic movie in a whole new perspective.    I will warn ahead of time that not every story in this collection worked for me, that probably half of them were ones I could have done without reading (though, only a handful were ones I felt weren’t worth the time), but that’s a very, very subjective thing–any stories I haven’t liked I’ve heard from people who did love them!–and the ones that I did love? I love so much that I would have read this book just for them. The whole concept is a really neat one, where it’s 40+ different authors taking on different points of view from the various characters of ANH, whether a Stormtrooper or a mouse droid or a bartender or a bounty hunter or a familiar Jedi, all who add something to the tapestry around the movie that started it all. Some of them are just intriguing, some of them made me laugh out loud, some of them made me think, but all of them combined together to really make me feel like this was a living, breathing galaxy of actual size!    But, yes, my favorites were the Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Yoda stories, because they come the closest to the heart of the story, because they bridge the gap between the OT and my beloved prequels, because they are the one with the strongest sense of character. I have spent so much time talking about those three stories especially on tumblr because they’re richly written and have a ton of little details for me to pull out and Obi-Wan’s point of view, how his life and his death are so defined by his love for Anakin and Luke, how Qui-Gon looks over on Obi-Wan and where he’s at just before the movie starts, his views on all that have happened and what’s coming, Yoda’s story with the little things he kept with him (I DID NOT AS FOR FROG GRANDPA FEELINGS LIKE THIS) and what he can feel from Anakin when Obi-Wan dies. All of it is so, so worth picking up to read and crying over!    But also, for real, read the Motti chapter, because I fuckin’ cried during that one, I laughed so hard. It’s the most glorious thing I have ever witnessed in my life. But also-also read the whole thing! Breha’s story is heartbreaking, the Wedge chapter was actually really engaging and exciting, the Beru story is weird and artsy and I really liked it, etc. There’s a lot that’s just really, really cool here and stuff you might not get anywhere else in Star Wars! ✦ Star Wars Propaganda: A History of Persuasive Art in the Galaxy by Pablo Hidalgo, entire cast, 112 pages    Whether it’s a Star Destroyer hovering over a planet or an X-wing delivering a message of resistance, propaganda images have become synonymous with life in the galaxy far, far away. This in-world art book explores the creation and stories behind these images of power and persuasion.    I did not expect to ever get something like this or for it to be so incredibly fantastic, it’s exactly what I wanted, where it’s an in-universe meta book about the history of art as propaganda which is used to show the course of the plot from the Rise of the Empire era all the way to the First Order era. It sounds like a bit of a flimsy premise to stretch so far, but it’s really more that the art is the lens through with the book is telling the entire galactic history over those ~60 years of time, so you get all this history and reference and context about how things came to be. You get a sense of how the Clone Wars came across to the public, you get the sense of how the Republic failed the people it was supposed to represent and protect, you get a sense of how the Jedi were victim to this terrible war, you get a sense of how the Empire came across to the public, you get a sense of what the Galactic Civil War was like, you better understand the First Order. It’s a book told through the perspective of art history, how that swayed opionin, but it’s so much more than that, it’s a history of the GFFA.    I originally read the digital version, but then loved it so much that I also had to go buy the physical copy of the book (which looks really gorgeous in a way the digital version doesn’t quite match) because it balances being like an actual relic from the GFFA with being a great Star Wars merchandise book. I love that it’s structured the way it is, like I’m reading actual in universe essays and history papers, but also it’s coming from an author who is one of the best people at keeping the history of the GFFA in view and so it’s great on that front as well. It’s a book that I had a hard time putting down because it’s just so well done and so cool and so informative and actually gave me a lot of feelings (let me cry about all the Clone Wars-era stuff it gave us!!) and is one of my favorites out of everything I’ve read from LF. ✦ The Last Jedi: Cobalt Squadron by Elizabeth Wein, rose & page & leia & cast, 224 pages    New characters from The Last Jedi, including mechanic Rose Tico and her gunner sister Paige, get the chance to shine in this hardcover adventure.    I listened to the audiobook version of this one and I really recommend that way if you can, because Kelly Marie Tran narrates it and she does an absolutely fantastic job! This is another book I recommend if you want to have greater context for The Last Jedi, if you want more of Rose’s character, or you just want more Star Wars stories with female-centric stories! It’s not super plot heavy, the action is pretty standard, but it’s a great look at the characters, including some really lovely Leia moments, it’s a great look at the relationship between Paige and Rose, to give context to why Rose is so devastated by her loss in TLJ and why Rose has the views she has, given her history, and it’s a great way to care more about them, to feel like there’s more depth to them than the movie had time for. It also brings in some more context to just what exactly is happening with the First Order and so I liked it for filling in detail in that sense, too! But mostly it’s just a really, really good Rose Tico story and I adored it for that. ✦ Forces of Destiny: Daring Adventures, Volume 1, Volume 2, The Rey Chronicles, The Leia Chronicles by Emma Carlson Berne, rey & leia & padme & ahsoka & sabine & cast, ~120 pages each    The choices we make, the actions we take, the moments–both big and small–shape us into forces of destiny.    I’m going to collect these books together because they’re all pretty similar to each other–they’re largely just retellings of the Forces of Destiny shorts, with occasional bits and pieces of extra moments added. There’s not a lot that’s added for character insight (of the ones out so far, the Rey ones are the best, I found the most to be excited about there–though, the Sabine one had some stellar lines about her and Ketsu!) or things that will surprise if you’ve already seen the shorts, but I did enjoy reading them! They’re very cute and would be great for younger readers or those who just want something cute and fun to read that won’t take a lot of time. There are also audiobooks (which I haven’t listened to) if you’d rather, and it’s all just a really cute, fun line-up that, while I wish they were telling more stories instead of the same ones over and over (though, the comics have more stories, which is fantastic!) they’re adorable and fun. ✦ Episode I Journal: Anakin Skywalker by Todd Strasser, obi-wan & anakin & padme & qui-gon & cast, ~112 pages    My name is Anakin Skywalker. This is my story.    I wanted to wait until I’d read more of this series to write up a review of them, but honestly they’ve been dropped down on my list of things to read, because I was hoping for some interesting character insights, but they’re really aimed more at young readers who just saw the movie and wanted to read it in novel form, so there’s not much that’s really new here, not much character insight or any added scenes. There are some cute Anakin/Padme moments, there was one moment that seemed to maybe imply that Anakin Force-whammied his mother without even realizing it, and one really nice Obi-Wan&Anakin moment at the end, but even with those, I struggled to find moments to talk about. Not because it’s bad, but because it’s a really, really straightforward retelling of the movie, just from the first person pov. But that’s what it’s meant to be, so it achieves what it sets out to do! Just that it wasn’t what I was looking for, unfortunately. ✦ The Last Jedi: Expanded Edition by Jason Fry, rey & luke & leia & kylo & poe & finn & rose & cast, 336 pages    From the ashes of the Empire has arisen another threat to the galaxy’s freedom: the ruthless First Order. Fortunately, new heroes have emerged to take up arms—and perhaps lay down their lives—for the cause.    My judgement of novelizations is largely based on the Rogue One book that really contributed a ton to my understanding of Jyn Erso’s characterization, that it gave depth to understanding her motivations and insight into how she thought, in a lot of ways it recontextualized her character in a really, really good way for me. So, my definition of what makes a novelization stellar is when it can do that for me, which most of them don’t. That doesn’t make them bad novelizations! And this one is perfectly functionable, it tells the story and adds small bits of character motivation here and there (nothing earth-shattering, though, nor does it fix some of the logic gaps I found TLJ to have) and I certainly had a ton to say about all those little differences on tumblr, especially because it was a good way to basically liveblog my feelings about the movie as well.    There are moments where I think the book did well (adding the moment of Luke and Rey dancing or Rey realizing in her thoughts that Snoke is just trying to manipulate her), but other times it highlights just how much chemistry the actors brought to the roles to make things fun (I think this is especially true for Finn, but the Luke and Leia scene felt much stronger in the movie, too) because the scenes read as very straightforward and plain. The prose is solidly readable, I never had trouble picking up the book and sliding right back into reading it, but neither does it elevate the story. There are lots of little details, fun shout-outs to various other bits of canon, and the gaps there (like the vagueness in referring to “their allies” in the Outer Rim without specifics) are often the fault of the structure of the sequels (ie, you can’t reveal too much because they’re always saving it in case the next movie wants to use it), but it is on display here.    It’s a book for fans who like novelizations, who like little bits of trivia or brief moments of cool additions (I’m not knocking this type of fan, this is exactly the type of fan I am!), but otherwise it’s about 95% a straightforward retelling of what was on the screen. ✦ Star Wars: The Last Jedi: A Junior Novel by Michael Kogge, rey & luke & leia & kylo & poe & finn & rose & cast, 208 pages    A junior novel retelling of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, with deleted and extended scenes, as well as exclusive scenes you won’t find anywhere else featuring Rey, Chewbacca, R2-D2, Finn, and more!    My feelings about this novelization are basically the same as the expanded novelization of TLJ–there are a handful of things to pull out that are interesting to talk about (and, boy, have I!) but that 95% of it is still a straightforward retelling of the movie. It’s a perfectly functional junior novelization and I have absolutely no regrets about reading it, because I like reading novelizations and I enjoy hunting down those handful of things that are different. But also I was at a point in time where I wanted to have something to pull out my TLJ thoughts, to give them structure, so much of the enjoyment I got out of this was an active blogging about it, rather than enjoying it as a passive read, which I don’t think it would be as strong for. What I mean is–if you’re reading this book to liveblog it, I think it gains something, because there are jumping off points to talk about! But if you’re looking for a book that will fill in the gaps that you felt TLJ had or to recontextualize the story for you, this isn’t going to do that, it’s a direct retelling aimed at young readers.    I do have some characterization caveats (most of them can be explained as unreliable narrators, though) but I did feel that the Kylo Ren characterization skewed too hard towards evil in the wrong way, that he laughed at things he should have been conflicted about, that he didn’t care about things he obviously did, etc. It felt like the author really hated the character and that bled through to the writing, so he was off or else it was written based on only the script and assumed things that later were given a different kind of depth by Driver. It’s not anywhere near enough to ruin the book for me, but it did feel like something was missing–however, reading it at the same time I was reading the adult novelization, switching off between the two, it was really kinda cool to see the way they each seemed to trade off points of view. If one book got the Rey pov, the other got the Kylo pov. If one book got the Finn pov, the other got the Rose pov. Given that each book didn’t have that much new material, it helped feel like it fleshed things out and made a bit more of a complete picture. So, do I recommend this book? Depends on what you’re getting it for, honestly. ✦ Star Wars Psychology: Dark Side of the Mind by Travis Langley + others, luke & leia & anakin & obi-wan & yoda & cast, 320 pages    This essay collection offers a fascinating psychological analysis of the compelling and complex universe of George Lucas’s richly rendered Star Wars series. A group of expert contributors examines such topics as family ties, Jedi qualities, masculinity, girl power, and the values embodied in both the “dark” and “light” sides of this psychologically spellbinding world.    I wasn’t sure what I was going to get when I picked up this book, what kind of essays, what kind of focus, what kind of writing it would be. But I got caught up in it pretty early and found that I just enjoyed the absolute hell out of the various topics, that it fit with a lot of how I viewed Star Wars, but as seen through much more professional lenses. There are essays around various topics, looking at various characters (but the usual ones are those that get the most focus, of course), things like how Anakin Skywalker’s nueroses led and inform his actions as Darth Vader, what the Jedi teachings say about how to handle various situations, the way role models influence us as we grow up, etc. Some of them are more generalized looks at topics or groups, some of them get much more specific (the Anakin ones are my favorites and felt very in line with the way I see him, especially as someone who is haunted by anxieties), but all of them are well laid out, well explained, and may be just the foundations of various psychology aspects, but are fascinating for it.    I wound up quoting a lot of the book (and will probably quote a lot more over time) because it does a great job of explaining things, like why Jedi mindfulness is a really good thing, why faith and religion can be so helpful for us, depending on our motivatons for it, why having a role model like Leia Organa was so important, why Luke’s journey is set up the way it is, why the Sith are not actually a stable force, etc. It’s a great place to start if you want to learn a bit about psychology through the lens of Star Wars OR a great place to go if you want to read about Star Wars through the lens of psychology, as well as that it’s clear that a lot of thought has been given to the characters and what George Lucas was putting into the story, so that one flows really well into the other and back again. It’s a great book to read and a really great look at the whys of behavior and meaning to us as complicated humans. ✦ Last Shot by Daniel José Older, han & lando & cast, 368 pages    It’s one of the galaxy’s most dangerous secrets: a mysterious transmitter with unknown power and a reward for its discovery that most could only dream of claiming. But those who fly the Millennium Falcon throughout its infamous history aren’t your average scoundrels.    I have a lot of conflicted feelings about this book, because there’s a lot it really did wonderfully well, but a lot that was ultimately really unsatisfying. My two biggest problems are the tone of the book (there’s a lot of meme-speak that feels off for a galaxy far, far away) and the way Han and Lando seem to really lack any thought of how their significant others have internal worlds of their own. What I mean is that Lando is getting ready to Maybe Settle Down For Real, but Kaasha is someone we know practically nothing about, we learn almost nothing about her or have Lando think about what her wants and desires are. Whenever he thinks about her, it’s about how he feels about her. The same is true of Han with Leia–it’s not until three fourths of the way through the book that there’s anything touching on what Leia is going through that’s entirely her own, rather than it being about Han. Previous to that, all of Han’s thoughts about Leia are about her understanding him, her reading between the lines of his terrible way of expressing himself, her packing his bag because she knows he needs to go, her comforting him about his fears on being a terrible father. He misses his family, but there’s little sense of them that’s beyond being extensions of his character. To a degree, that’s fair enough, this is a book about Han (and Lando), but we can tell that Leia clearly does have her own world (she’s rushing off to meetings for the New Republic, she’s mourning Alderaan, she’s probably still dealing with the blow about Vader being her bio-father) and clearly thinks about Han’s internal world, but he doesn’t do the same for her even within his own thoughts. And I’m not sure if he’s meant to come off as that self-centered, despite that he’s genuinely trying to be a good husband and dad!    The book does seem to try to say something about various issues, like one of my favorite things is that there’s diversity in gender and body types (there’s an explicitly non-binary character–a dark-skinned nb character!!!!–who is simply part of the narrative, they’re just there, and it’s fantastic, they’re a stellar character, also Lando is clearly attracted to a heavily curvy woman and it’s not a joke, it’s legitimate “that lady is hot” and the narrative agrees, which is also wonderful! and there’s an apperance by a m/m couple who got married!! like, all of this could make me cry from how happy I am to see Star Wars inching its way forward in progress in such wonderful ways!) as well as it seems to touch on the idea of droid rights. But then that doesn’t really go anywhere, it’s brought up and then never really finished. Or there’s a Gungan who is offended that Han thought he spoke with a Gungan accent–is this a commentary on racial stereotypes or a dig at the prequels (as the author definitely had some anti-prequels things to say a few years back) or just a quirky thing to add? How am I supposed to take that, when just a few pages later, there’s a different character with a similarly over the top accent? I’m just never quite sure what this book was trying to say.    That said, I’m glad I read it, there’s some really stellar stuff in it–L3 is great, I love that Lando is a fashionista, that he’s dramatic and Extra about it, but in a way that’s delightedly charming and clearly a great thing about him. I loved the brief mentions of baby Ben showing up, there was some SERIOUS cute going on there, but also a great quick peek into what his early life was like, how he was difficult, but still such a sweet kid at that point, how loved he was. I loved “Uncle Wanwo”, like, holy shit, worth the book right there! I was absolutely delighted that there was a very strong sense of this being placed in the Star Wars galaxy, from droids to aliens to planets to tech, it was recognizable (though, I could have done without almost all the aliens being described as ugly), and the plot was a solid action chase plot. Ultimately, while I find it easier to talk about the things that didn’t work for me (but isn’t that often the case with most people?) I don’t want to discourage people from reading this, because I’m genuinely glad I read it, I thought there was a lot of good stuff here and I really enjoyed getting to see Lando, who was still a gambler and a bit of a scoundrel, but with the good heart he’s always had. That there’s progress made on giving him character depth! That Han genuinely struggled with having a family and how to deal with that, that it doesn’t do a disservice to that part of his character or that he genuinely loved them and wanted to be there with them and support them. There was a lot done to make these characters more relatable and human, which goes a very long way with me, so I’m glad to have gotten this book and I’d love to see more about Han and Lando again! I also plan to listen to the audiobook after seeing the Solomovie, as I think more familiarity with the updated versions of the characters might help, but even without that, I thought this was a solid read I’m glad to have gotten! ✦ Most Wanted by Rae Carson, han & qi'ra & cast, 348 pages    Han and Qi'ra don’t have a lot in common other than not having a lot. They’re street kids on the industrial planet Corellia, doing whatever it takes to get by, dreaming of something more.    I wish I’d had more time to read the rest of this book before seeing Solo (and I would have swapped the publishing order with Last Shot, but I also recognize that there wasn’t time because the author had other committments that pushed this one back and am totally sympathetic to that) because I think reading the first handful of chapters did an amazing amount to help me with Qi'ra’s character in the movie, as this book dovetails so very well with who she is there. She made perfect sense to me, someone who was genuine about being glad that Han got out, who genuinely had feelings for him and kept those feelings close to her, wasn’t going to betray him if she could at all help it, would have probably died to help him, but also wasn’t going to stay where she was, that she knew shutting the door on the possibility of more was what she had to do. This book really does a fantastic job of showing who these characters are prior to the movie and gives a lot more depth to the opening scenes on Corellia, a lot more meaning to the White Worms and Lady Proxima and just how desperately hungry both Han and Qi'ra were to get the hell off that world. It also does a fantastic job of connecting it to the rest of the GFFA, that there are recognizable aliens amongst the new ones, that there are references to the rest of the galaxy, that this fits with Han feeling isolated in how he grew up yet it’s not unrecognizable as the galaxy we know.    So I would have enjoyed the book and recommended it for that alone, but it’s also just a fun book, one of the most enjoyable ones I’ve read of canon! It has a good blend of action with character insight, it very obviously kept the future in mind (working up towards Han’s characterization in ANH especially, what with his saying the Force is a bunch of mumbo jumbo or why he doesn’t join causes, as well as the book felt aware of Qi'ra being similar to Leia, except the more you get to know her, the more she’s not really Leia 2.0 but instead her own character, one that I adored) and yet was legit exciting. I knew things had to work out reasonably well, given that it was set before canon events, but the path to how it would work out, how they’d get out of this seemingly impossible mess (and I loved the how of how it worked out!) to put them in place for the movie, all of that was great. I legitimately cared about these characters, Han was this great character who is smart but somewhat naive even as he’s street smart in other ways, you can’t help but fall for his entirely genuine charms, Qi'ra was wary and closed-off, except she was a person who had respect for others, she had a core of strength that you could feel, no matter how hungry she was, she was someone I hope we get to see more of. And having them run all over Corellia and running up against crime syndicates and droids and rich people who may or may not be truly helping them, all of it was just pure Star Wars fun! One of my faves, especially ones tangent to the Solo movie!

[whistlingpig]

I’m going to vanish for a while, but before I do, I think I should explain myself so nobody gets the wrong idea:

A few days ago, I stumbled across a TikTok video of a fat girl showing off her bathing suit. Against my better judgement, I looked at the comment section. It was filled with trolls repeating the same tired fat jokes I’ve heard a thousand times before. At this point, they shouldn’t hurt. But they do. And I haven’t been able to get them out of my head

Every time I’m forced to share the same space with another human being, I find myself wondering... do they feel this way about me? Are they offended by my stomach, my rolls, my chins? Are they just pretending to be nice? 

It’d be different if being fat was the only thing I had working against me, but I’m also extremely socially awkward, stupid, and uncoordinated. I stumble over my words, I lisp, I blurt out dumb observations at the wrong times, ask questions with obvious answers. Furniture creaks when I sit on it, I breathe heavy, I’m clumsy/accident prone, and I’m ugly! 

If I had my way, I’d live like a hermit. I’ve never enjoyed socializing; it’s draining for me. Even after a positive social interaction, I need to retreat to the safety of my bedroom and recharge for several days As the saying goes: you don’t just marry a person - you marry the whole family. It’s true. And for me, it’s been a never-ending nightmare of awkward exchanges. I’m quite certain at this point that my father-in-law despises me. Why wouldn’t he, after all? I’ve never given him a reason to like me! I believe my mother-in-law simply tolerates me because it’s necessary in order to keep in contact with her beloved son. I think... long before we ever actually met, they formed negative opinions of me based on things Jim told them: that I was an alcoholic, that I was in and out of the hospital for various ‘mystery’ ailments, that I was pushy, physically violent when drunk, mentally ill, and unable to work. I’m definitely not the person they hoped their son would spend the rest of his life with

It’s not my intention to catalogue every passive-aggressive remark my in-laws make around me.. I don’t want to be the kind of person who collects grievances and plays the victim-card. That’s what my sister does! However, because I have such thin skin, I find it difficult to let other peoples’ comments roll off my back

A couple of recent examples: 

- My MIL asked Jim and me to take a couple photos of her with her husband. We happily obliged. When we’d finished, she insisted they turn the camera on us. I laughed it off and said I don’t do photos. She just wouldn’t take no for an answer, though.. She kept telling us to pose. Jim could sense I was panicking - he pulled his mom aside to explain that I’m very uncomfortable with having my photo taken. She finally relented and I thought “whew, crisis averted!”. But later, as we were standing on the porch together, she turned to me and said, “if I ever take a photo of you, just know I’m not trying to steal your soul.” I just laughed. She doesn’t know I used to spend hours photographing myself from different angles, then circling the parts of my body I hated most. She doesn’t know I used to cover my mirrors. She doesn’t know how unhealthy my relationship with my own body is. And how could she? It’s my problem, not hers! But her flippant remark not only hurt my feelings, it made me feel as if my past trauma had somehow inconvenienced HER. I should have sucked it up and let her take the photo. She would have showed it to us. I would have spent the night having a meltdown. I wanted to avoid that

- We accompanied my MIL to the church to look at leftovers from a rummage sale. The idea was to get some cheap clothes/shoes. As soon as we arrived, I started looking for things I might be able to wear. Jim wandered off to the other end of the building to look at toys. He kept holding up silly items to show me and at one point I jokingly said, “hey, you aren’t even looking at clothes!!” His mom must have thought I was genuinely angry because she kinda snapped at me that “he can look at other things if he wants.” Jim and I engage in playful banter all the time; neither of us are serious! It isn’t the first time she’s felt the need to rush to his defense when she didn’t like the way we were kidding around. It’s kind of bizarre? She got angry when we were going through his old school journals and laughing at the misspelled words/crayon drawings. We weren’t laughing at JIM! Just at the silly things he wrote/drew.

- Today I was putting together a small package for my mom. I went in the bedroom to get a piece of paper for a note & when I came back out to the living room, Jim was gone. I said, “I never know where my husband goes! He vanished again!” My FIL replied: “It’s a husband thing. He’s doing it to save himself.” Maybe he said protect? I can’t recall. Either way, the gist of the joke was that husbands need to get away from their wives so they don’t go crazy. I laughed and sarcastically said, “oh come on, I know he loves spending every waking moment of his life with me.” Didn’t catch whatever FIL said next, but I think it must’ve been mean-spirited or something because MIL apologized on his behalf. This was shortly before I was reminded of the 4th of July, 2018. When I was pressured into trying to ride a horse, AFTER I’d expressed concerns over my weight being an issue. She insisted I try to get in the saddle, even though I wasn’t comfortable. It ended with her in the ER with a dislocated shoulder. Jack was furious. Today I was reminded about how he had to drive her to the ER and spend the evening in the waiting room with a bunch of weirdos. Just a joke, of course. But not really. Because he really was angry. And it really did ruin his night. But just a joke, of course.

I feel like everyone expected some sort of magical transformation to occur as soon as I was removed from the toxic shithole I used to live in. Maybe they thought I’d “come out of my shell”? That, instead of being overwhelmed, I’d embrace the idea of joining their enormous family and fit right in! The opposite happened. At first, I forced myself to be around them... As time went on, I returned to my reclusive lifestyle. Keeping others at arm’s length might make me look like a snob, but it’s how I’ve always been. It probably won’t change any time soon.

MIL and I are very different. When I get a package, I wait for the UPS driver to leave before I run out to grab it. She’ll meet the UPS driver at the door and have a 45-minute conversation with him

Anyway, the bottom line is.... I don’t belong here. After almost a year, I can say that with confidence. I’m not cut out to be part of a family! This has been weighing on my mind heavily for the past several months. Now I’m beginning to obsess over my weight/appearance again. I’m an insecure mess. I’m also rationing my medications........ it’s a perfect recipe for disaster

The other night, Jim’s cousin asked us over for hot dogs & drinks. I made an appearance - ONLY because it’s been so long since I’ve seen him and his girlfriend. I don’t want them to think I’m avoiding them! I feel like it didn’t go very well, though... As a fat person, eating in front of others is always complicated. On the one hand, I don’t want to offend the host by refusing food they cooked specifically for me. On the other, I don’t want to attract attention by being a fat woman eating a hot dog, lmao. The right thing to do would have been to decline - to give the impression I actually give a rat’s ass about my weight. Jim’s cousin’s girlfriend did that - and she probably only weighs like 100 pounds. I noticed, every time I took a bite of my hot dog, she stared. Why? Because you’re disgusted? Entertained? Are you asking yourself what my husband sees in me? You ignore everything I post on Instagram, but you like everything my husband posts. I notice these things. I wish I didn’t, but I do. I drank a cider. I got tipsy. I laughed a little too loud at jokes that weren’t funny. My teeth were throbbing. I made a bad impression. She kept looking at me, but every time I tried to make eye contact, she turned away

I could lose weight. By that, I mean, it’s physically possible. Do I have the self-control to stop guzzling soda and eating fast food? Probably not. But I’m off the market, I’m married, my husband likes to grind his hard dick against my stomach and knead my love-handles while I lie on top of him. Does it matter what anyone else thinks? I guess it does. Maybe It does when nobody knows he likes me this way. That he tells me he prefers fat women

Yeah, I could lose weight. Do I really want to, though? If I lost 100 pounds & suddenly began receiving compliments from the same people who treated me like a leper when I was fat.... Would I want that? No. You can take your beauty-standards and shove them up your ass. I don’t want to lose weight to win the approval of people who wouldn’t give me the time of day when I was fat

But it isn’t her fault she was disgusted by me. She takes care of her body

You know what I want? More than anything? Money. Enough money to live comfortably. Alone. I don’t want to die. I just want to remove myself from this bad situation. Live in solitude. Give Jim back to his family

And I want to vanish from the internet, too. Because if you knew me in real life, you’d be disappointed. If you like me online, it just means I’ve somehow managed to fool you. I would like to be forgotten! Move on, make real friends, and succeed!

I’m not stupid. I mean, I am. But I’m aware my social media accounts are just a source of entertainment for the handful of people who follow ‘em. I’m not quite... oh, what do they call it on Kiwifarms? A Lolcow? My meltdowns occur on a small, mostly empty corner of the internet. At least they’re still funny

Thanks for reading, if you did. I’ll be going now.

[masseffectgayliens]

How come the rest of the gang isnt aware of their fans?

Tali read the question out loud, for the whole “gang” to hear. It was virtually pointless though, as most of them were entrenched in their dinner anyway.

“I wouldn’t say you’re not aware. You’re not the brightest bulbs in the bunch but you can’t be that thickheaded, either. Especially since some of them send you suspiciously regular mail and stuff.”, Tali answered, mostly addressing herself to the Normandy walls and to Gardner. Ah, Gardner. Always conspicuously trying to appear inconspicuous while listening for any dirt on members of the crew.

“Tali, we joined the Normandy squad fan forum. You know that.”, Shepard grumbled, frustratingly stabbing her peas.

Garrus chuckled slightly from next to her, to which she responded with an objectively painful kick to the helpless turian’s shin, and a murderous glare.

Then the whole thing came back to Tali, and she started audibly giggling as well, rejoicing in the fact that she was a safe distance away from the angry commander.

Throwback to a few months earlier. Tali had just stepped into the cargo bay, ready for another mission, but as she looked around, she found only Garrus, leaning back against the Hammerhead, fiddling with his datapad. She shrugged, realising they were both probably early, and she thought there would be no better opportunity to hone her turian-pestering skills than while waiting for Shepard to waltz them off towards more danger. He was so entrenched in what he was doing that he didn’t notice her until she cheerfully plucked the datapad from his grasp.

Sneaky quarian snooper: 1, Her victim, now with increased trust issues: 0.

While he was exclaiming with surprise, Tali examined the screen in front of her.

“…Galactic Ass-Kickers United?”

Garrus flicked his mandibles in annoyance, swiping his datapad back and holding it above his head.

Self-elected Normandy midget representative: 1, Tall turian asshole: 1.

Normally, Tali would give him another type of well-deserved kick to the shin for this blatant abuse of his freaky height, but right now she was too curious as to why Garrus was browsing an online nerd forum.

“It’s, uh, it’s what some people call us. Apparently.”, he said sheepishly.

“Us?”

“You, me, everyone who went after Saren.”

“Oh.”

A few moments of uncomfortable silence passed. Tali was pondering his words, Garrus was still warily holding the datapad above her reach. Until he suddenly felt his earlier assholery get repaid tenfold when the quarian forcefully stomped on his foot, causing him to double over with a groan, which prompted Tali to swiftly rid him of his precious possession. Again.

Everyone that isn’t Garrus: 2, Garrus: -25684.

With Garrus’ whines as relaxing background noises, Tali looked through the site, its threads and topics, until the realisation dawned on her.

“Garrus, how long have you been a part of our official fan forum?”

“First off, that was a cheap move, second off, why’s it matter?”

“OhmygodhaveyouseenthisfanartGarrusKeelah”, she exclaimed in one breath.

Dismissing her suit’s inner ventilation system for not having enough dramatic effect, Tali fanned herself, admiring a smutty piece of work depicting Shepard, Garrus and herself.

“Spirits, Tali, I don’t go looking for it!”

“How come your inbox isn’t totally full of spam from our dedicated fans, then?”, she asked, looking over his sparse chat boxes with various members.

Most of his interactions were quite tame. He left witty remarks on most discussions, and chatted harmlessly with a few users about nothing in particular.

“Probably because they don’t know who I really am. To them, I’m simply TheLegend27.”, he declared, a bit too confidently for someone who chose TheLegend27 as a username.

Tali snorted, still shamelessly going through his activity log.

He seemed to engage with one forum user specifically. Almost every comment Garrus posted was somehow in relation to one Quads_of_fury. Tali tapped on his latest notification, which brought her to a thread entitled “NORMANDY CREW MOST LIKELY TOs”. And, although the thread itself was a goldmine, a certain inspired username caught Tali’s attention.

Quads_of_fury, 4:36 CT: most likely to spend all their credits on stupid shit?? i vote kaidan. he looks like the kind of guy who would literally start crying happy tears when he sees a lush shop

 Interestingly enough, Kaidan had swooned at the sight of the intergalactic bath bomb. He broke down, actually. Two times. Two times Tali had to almost completely physically restrain him so he didn’t waste his credits away on soaps and perfumes and lotions and OK they all smelled really good, but Tali was taught better than to give in to Satan like that. She wasn’t weak. Not to insinuate that Kaidan was. He was just really, really, into self-care products. Tali pictured the value of property damage they’d have to cover when Kaidan’s tears eventually flooded the lush shop, setting off all of the bath bombs at the same time.

She shuddered.

Naturally, TheLegend27 had something to say to Quads_of_fury.

TheLegend27, 4:38 CT: I vote Shepard. Mostly because I’ve actually stumbled into her at the supermarket. I could only stare in awe as I watched her pay for a disco ball helmet, a ketchup gun and glow in the dark toilet paper.

 Tali snickered, turning towards Garrus.

“Does Shepard know you’re shamelessly backstabbing her on the extranet?”

“Oh, please. She should’ve expected it.”

Tali clicked on Garrus’ most recently created thread: “Shepard is fuckin short. Discuss”. She put it in her “Stuff To Shamelessly Blackmail Garrus With” mental folder.

“Nevermind, I know she doesn’t know because if she did she’d have killed you by now.”, she stated matter-of-factly.

He just looked at her strangely, his mandibles flaring in what she came to recognize as the turian equivalent of a smile. Confused, she decided his cryptic looks could suck it, and she resumed her activities.

Quads_of_fury, 4:50 CT: ok first off RUDE second off shes not fuckin short her online bio says shes 5’4” shes AVERAGE honestly and even if she was short who cares shes like the badassest person ever rn and these kinds of threads just undermine her authority so to conclude. u suck @TheLegend27

 Tali was moved to tears. Honestly. Quads_of_fury’s speech would make Shepard proud.

TheLegend27, 4:56 CT: *She’s 5’2”. **Which is short even for a human. ***The most badass

Quads_of_fury, 4:57 CT: I KNOW HOW IT’S SPELLED ASSHOLE

 The next thread was entitled “Shepard Appreciation Thread”.

Honestly Tali’s blackmail folder was having a field day.

She scrolled down to a piece of fanart depicting the crew, with Shepard as a focal point, happily crying while hugging Liara.

Quads_of_fury, 3:23 CT: false shepard does not cry

TheLegend27, 3:24 CT: Except when you point out the fact that elcor don’t wear shoes, then she spirals into depression

 It was a universal certainty that Shepard was never going to live that down. The one time she decided getting drunk was a good idea, after finally saving the galaxy, she got filmed by a bunch of curious teenagers. Honestly, the entire crew was pretty hammered, but when they started waxing philosophical about different species, Shepard had an epiphany, and no amount of alcohol would ever help her forget the vid of her sobbing at the thought of elcor rubbing their nasty feet-hands on every public bathroom floor. The extranet was a cruel and unforgiving mistress.

“So like… Are you going out of your way to personally victimize this user? Are they like your forum crush or something?”, Tali asked, finally tearing her eyes away from TheLegend27’s forum drama.

Garrus smirked at her again, then, without answering, turned around to greet Shepard herself, finally showing up, ready for another day of dodging bullets.

As they climbed into the shuttle, Tali felt him bend down, mouth closing in on her ear.

“You’ll see.”, he said, passionately typing away on his datapad.

Fast forward to dinner time, when Tali had all but forgotten about Garrus’ extranet vendetta against Quads_of_fury. Until the commander walked in, fashionably late once more, brows meeting in a small, frustrated knot.

“Who pissed in your cereal, huh?”, Jack inquisitively jabbed an elbow at her, careful not to drop her own bowl of cereal.

“This random extranet dickbrain. It’s no big deal, they’re just really annoying.”

“Oh, really? What sites are you surfing these days, Shep?”, Kasumi innocently piped in, giving Garrus, who was sitting right next to Tali, a knowing wink.

“Uhm, you know. Fan forums. And stuff. I’m interested in what people think of us.”

Shepard had her back to Tali, but the quarian was certain her face was now doing that distinctly human thing, when it became redder than the N7 stripe.

“I’m a member of your fan forum too, actually. Who’s bothering you? Is it TheLegend27?”, the thief pressed on.

Tali wanted to die.

“Yeah? How’d you know?”

“Who’s TheLegend27?”, Jack asked, her words just as dripped in confusion.

“Some say TheLegend27 is the first forum user ever. Born from fire.”

“I heard, TheLegend27 can never get banned, because they always come back.”, Garrus casually added.

“I heard TheLegend27 once locked an entire thread with a single roast.”, Joker joined in.

“But the worst part is, just when you think you’re safe”, Kasumi went on, ”just when you think you might escape… WHAM!!! Just like that! You get trolled.”

When everyone around the mess table faked a collective gasp, she sank even deeper in her suicidal disposition.

“I hate literally all of you.”, she caught herself saying, but she was cut off by the sound of Shepard’s datapad notification.

She checked it, slowly, then very suddenly her head snapped up to Garrus, who was cheerfully typing away, just as another notification sound pierced the tense silence.

Shepard didn’t advance, not before getting a tall glass and filling it with cold water. Then, as she menacingly started approaching Garrus, raising her glass like a weapon, all Tali could think was, he had it coming.

“This is a good time for you to become a missing person, Vakarian.”

Yep. Definitely had it coming.

[cityhqsarchive-blog]

Congratulations Lia! Your application for the role of Suki Roberts has been accepted! Wow. This app was incredible, and a thrill to read. The devotion and care put into it is obvious from even a glance. Please send in your account within the next 24 hours. Don’t forget to have a look at the Welcome Page.

IC QUESTIONS

Here’s a couple of questions for you to answer in character. Feel free to get into as much, or as little, detail as you want. Or as much, or as little, detail you think the character you’re applying for would get into. Answer how you think they would.

Before meeting your future housemates, describe what would be your “dream” housemate.: “Someone who doesn’t mind me singing showtunes at the wee hours of the morning & would be willing to share sweets with me when I ask nicely– or even when I don’t ask nicely,” she answers right off the bat with a small giggle. “They’ve got to let me pick the movie for movie night, which are a given, & trust me when I tell them that my taste is far superior.” The smirk that graces her face gives off the illusion that she’s joking. But anyone who knows Suki knows that there’s really no telling. “I’d like them to be open-minded & willing to try new things with me.” A pause ( for dramatic effect ) “& I’d prefer if they weren’t messy. Though, I can tolerate a slob so long as they keep their mess to themselves & away from my living area.” A hair flip just because. “That’s not too much to ask for, right??”

What are you going to miss most about home while at university?: She’s quiet for a moment, but it doesn’t last long. A quiet moment from the raven haired girl rarely does. “I’m going to miss my honey, Ryan. He’s my boyfriend, if you didn’t know. He’s off at uni a bit of a ways up North. You’d think I’d be used to the time apart by now since he’s years ahead of me but it always feels like he’s worlds away. I miss when we could spend nearly everyday together, lounging on my family’s boat, watching movies, going out to eat, or doing anything really. now our time together is reduced to skype dates & heart-felt texts.” She doesn’t mention that the skype calls & texts have been few & far between since he left to move into his residence hall a few weeks back. But rather, her expression looks pained as if it somehow physically hurts for her other half to not be with her. “I always miss him when he’s gone.” She clutches at her chest, subconsciously fiddling with a necklace he gave her to make up for some fight they had months back.

And what about romance? Describe your dream date, whether it’s a date you’ve already been on or one you dream about having.: “Ooooh,” she exhales, shimmying slightly in her spot. Her hopeless romantic little heart starts to flutter at the idea of a dream date. “I’ve always loved the idea of a picnic in the grass, laying under a clear blue sky while my honey is feeding me chocolate covered strawberries. Doesn’t that sound divine?? We could chat about anything & everything, maybe listen to some music, & share a few drinks with our meal. There’s just something about the intimacy & thought that goes into having a picnic that makes it heartwarming.” An almost dreamy sigh leaves her lips as she smiles a tight lip smile.

PARA SAMPLE

Suki had arrived in one town car while her fourteen suitcases arrived in another. Fourteen. The only reason she maxed out at that number being that it was all they could fit into the vehicle, the trunk, backseat, & front filled to the brim. She felt it was necessary to bring all of her life necessities with her, making a list & checking it twice to make sure she got everything. From wardrobe to hair & makeup to collectables that would liven up her room. She had made sure to get to the house bright & early in order to get a good room with enough space for all of her things. From the outside, the house looked to be a decent size all considering. As she stepped out of the car & took it all in, Suki admired how quaint the two ( maybe three including the basement ) floor home was. It paled in comparison to the large manors back home but it had its own charm to it. She failed to see how it could be shared amongst twelve people however, until she stepped inside.

Yes, it would make a decent home for the next year or so she had decided as she roamed around the place, her family’s help working to bring all her bags inside. Only two of them had accompanied her on the trip up to Everly Port. One to drive each car. Her actual family members couldn’t make it. With her father having a very important meeting & her mother making a prior engagement to make an appearance at a charity brunch, the only person who had the free time to accompany her was her little sister. But she was a mere two year old who would probably cry the whole way there so Suki thought it would be best to just travel without her. Not that her family’s absence meant that they didn’t send their love & support. They had actually bothered to wake up earlier than normal to eat breakfast with Suki ( who was used to being the early riser who ate in the dining room alone ) & practically coddled her until strapped in the backseat of the car & down the road. It was hard to say goodbye. It was even harder to watch her expansive house get smaller & smaller as the distance grew between her & home. But she was at her new home away from home now & absolutely determined to make it feel as such.

Once bags were stashed away in what she deemed the nicest room on the first floor, Suki made a show of bidding the help ado with tight hugs & well wishes. The sun had just fully come out of hiding when she had started unpacking. She figured it would be easier to get things all settled before her housemates arrived since she would be too busy introducing herself & trying to get to know them to decorate properly. Plus hanging clothes up & making her bed worked as simple activities to keep her mind occupied. Certain ideas had been eating away at her for weeks prior to her arrival. She tried not to entertain them but it was difficult. The idea that herfriends might replace her while she was away didn’t quite settle with her. The idea that Ryanmight replace her while they were miles away from each other was even worse. What would she do without her A Team by her side, there to root her on & keep her sane?? What if her housemates were absolute lunatics or crazy axe murderers?? What if the arts program at the school was incredibly underwhelming?? What if she was no good at City?? Why didn’t she just go to London?? All these worries & more swimmed around in her head. As she obsessed over the ridiculous questions, she subconsciously began to tidy up more & more until everything was in its place. It was as if she had gone into some sort of autopilot mode. Not that she felt bothered by that. Everything in her new room looked neat, proper, & pretty. Just the way she liked it.

As she straightened out the fluffy assorted pillows on her bed, Suki could hear the faint sound of a car door slamming. The first of the lot she presumed. She sighed as she did a small twirl around the space & took a moment to let it all sink in. This was it. No matter how anxious she was, there was no going back now. She was settled in & people were starting to show up. She did as she did before every performance when she could feel the stage fright creeping in– closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths, let them out, & smiled to herself. You got this, was her mantra. & with that she left her room to greet whoever else had decided to show up at the ridiculous hour.

ANYTHING EXTRA

Some headcanons I have for sweet Suki :)

LIFE & TIMES

She grew up feeling the love from her parents. They were good at showing their little girl the utmost affection & giving her all the attention they could manage with their busy schedules. The Roberts were always hard workers, not just sitting on their money but actively trying to make more of it. That’s where Suki got her belief that if you really want something then you have to work for it

As a kid, her home felt like a castle. Her home in St. George’s Hill was large and secluded enough from the city life that she could play around in her own little world. Her idealized princess life was heavily influenced by how spoiled she was. But Suki was never ‘high-maintenance’. She was entertained by the simplest things & had a knack for making something out of nothing thanks to her wild imagination. So all the toys & pets she had were a good enough source of entertainment but the young girl really preferred dancing in the living room with her imaginary prince charming or making a dress out of her silk bed sheets, running around in mommy’s pearls & heels

Her wild imagination is what convinced her parents that she would thrive in an arts school. She was an excellent story teller who enjoyed playing dress up. All were early signs of a budding actress. Although she originally hadn’t loved it, Suki found arts school to be fun. At least there all her classmates seemed to be like her, which was reassuring & made for a good time. Her peers not only matched her creative mind but encouraged it. She really enjoyed all the dancing, singing, & acting classes– mostly because she was very good at them

Suki hadn’t really started making friends until she started attending her arts school. Before then her socializing was pretty limited to the little kids that came around for playdates that belonged to her mom & dad’s colleagues & the members of the golf & tennis club that adored when her parents brought little Suki around for tea. School was where she got to interact with kids her own age that shared her same interests. She was a real social butterfly with an ability to draw in just about anyone’s attention. Maybe it was her sweet smile or welcoming spirit. Regardless, people just loved Suki & she loved that

Although she was a social butterfly & talked to many people, she only ever really considered a few kids her friends. Mallory, Jen, & Daniel to be exact. They were her very best friends. She met Mallory in a dance class when they were children & their friendship blossomed from there. Jen came around a few years later. Mallory & Suki would always run into her at the same acting camps so they figured they might as well start talking to her. Jen introduced them to Daniel (who also goes by Dan, Danny, Danny-Boy, Boy-O, & Dennis because of reasons). He is the most fabulous person Suki knows & is the one person she can fangirl with during any hour of the day over musical theatre. Together the four of them make up an arty little bunch of nerds who like to sing show tunes, have dance parties at 2am, & go out to the club in color coordinating outfits just so people will know that they’re better than them

The reason Suki’s nickname is Suki is actually because when she & Mallory first met as kids she introduced herself as Suzi but Mallory misheard her & called her Suki. She really didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was wrong so she just went along with it. After awhile it just seemed really fitting so she told everyone to call her that. Only professionals or people who aren’t all that familiar with her call her Susannah

She’s always been one to go out of her way to lend a helping hand to anyone in need. A shoulder to cry on, a hype (wo)man, & a good advice giver all in one. Although she’s good at sorting out other people’s problems for them, she was never one to solve her own problems. Her closest friends can’t even count on two hands how many times they’ve had to pick up the pieces for her because she’s incapable of doing it for herself. & they’re happy to do it considering all she’s done for them. The only problem is that Suki always seems to get herself into the same sticky situations over & over again. It’s as if she never learns her lesson. She can’t just double book herself & expect to be able to make it to both gigs or keep letting the same boy hurt her over & over again & expect him to change

Speaking of boys, Suki has her heart set on one in particular. Ryan is this handsome, intelligent, older man she’s been seeing for two years now. Well two years & a few months if you don’t count all the times they’ve broken up & then got back together. Suki met Ryan through a mutual friend when she was sixteen & starting Sixth form. ‘Til this day she isn’t 100% sure what he sees in her, but she’s forever grateful that he’s taken an interest in her. From the very beginning, he’s been a charmer. The smile, the eyes, the voice- it all gets to her & makes her heart skip a beat. They’ve had their ups & downs. Mostly because of Ryan’s habit of accusing Suki of trying to replace him with other men( or women ) & paying too much attention to her work. She’s always trying to please him. From telling him what he wants to hear to wearing things that she knows he likes because when Ryan is happy, he can be very sweet. However, when he’s not he can be very cold & belittles her to the point where she feels like nothing. But he’s usually back to being sweet & promises to never do it again. The promise is always broken. It’s a vicious, unhealthy cycle really but Suki is so dependent on him & truly believes that putting up with someone’s good, bad, & ugly counts as love

Suki had always been her parents’ little princess. Spending many years as an only child, she was used to receiving all their love & attention. So you can imagine that the idea of a younger sibling was a bit of a shock to her, especially because her little brother or sister was coming so late in life. At the age of sixteen, Suki had to adjust to life as an older sister. It wasn’t like the family didn’t have enough room in their manor to share or like they couldn’t afford to take care of another child. It was just a difficult concept for the girl to comprehend, having to share the spotlight that is. After her sister was born, however, Suki took on the role of older sibling with such grace that most would think she had a younger sibling her entire life. She happily watched over the little one, let her play with some of her old toys ( although her mother tried insisting on buying brand-new everything for the baby ), & absolutely adored playing dress up with her. It was like having a new friend for her to take care of. Except the two were bonded together by blood for life. Now, two years later, the little girl already looks up to her big sister & Suki tries not to let this fact go to her head. But it’s Suki. Humble isn’t necessarily in her vocabulary

Although talented, Suki is also a really hard worker, which has helped her achieve so much success when it comes to her acting, dancing, & singing. She was known to get lead roles & solos in school, hardly anyone could compete with her. But then she went off to college & she went through a miniature crisis. In college she wasn’t the best anymore. She was simply one of the best out of a lot of other talented pupils. Before, she felt like a big fish in a little pond. But in college, she felt like a small fish in a big pond. It was like she didn’t know who she was since she wasn’t at the top. Her parents had to boost her confidence again, like they’d been doing for years, & remind her that she wasn’t just attending that college because it was the best one that money could buy. She was attending that college because she was talented enough & was going to go far. Her friends were also a big help in reminding her that she was THE Suki Roberts & that meant something. So she quickly snapped out of her miniature crisis & continued on doing what she does best: being a star

Getting an offer, although conditional, to the top arts school in London was an absolute dream for Suki. It was everything she had been working towards since she was about ten years old. Finally feeling like she had something tangible to show that she was worthy of something, she couldn’t have been more excited & her family & close friends couldn’t have been more proud of her

To say that her heart broke in two when she went to Ryan, quite literally crying tears of joy, to tell him to good news & saw that he wasn’t happy for her would be an understatement. He almost immediately shot her dreams of moving out to London & studying among the best of the best in her field. She wanted to be mad about it ( her friends would late encourage her to fight him about it, like they typically did whenever he said or did something wrong to her ) but she just couldn’t find it in herself to be upset with him. Especially when he explained that he didn’t think he could stand being that far away from her, with him moving farther up North & her moving to Central London. As per usual he knew just what to say to make her heart melt & get her wrapped around his finger, willing to do anything & everything to appease him. With a heavy but hopeful heart, she declined the offer. But at least she got to keep her lover boy

Her family & friends weren’t exactly supportive of her decision. & she knew they wouldn’t be. Which is why she didn’t tell them that she would be attending City Uni instead of the fancy smancy arts school until it was like two days until moving day. It was hard for her to keep up the charade while they were continuously congratulating her & making all these plans to come visit her in London once she got settled. But Suki is an actress after all, she knows how to be brave under pressure. She waited until she got all the most important people in her life together in one room ( her mom, dad, sister, ,allory, Jen, Daniel, & Ryan ) & told them at the dinner table that she had changed her mind about going to London. When those who were unaware of her plan started bombarding her with questions, all of them yelling & freaking out her little sister, she made a scene of crying & giving a long speech about it being her life & her decision & not asking them to understand her but for them to just accept it for what it is. Then she stormed out for dramatic effect & left everyone shook in their seats. They had to deal with it one way or another. Suki had some of her family’s help assist with her packing up her room & most valuable possessions the next day so what really could they do

So up she went to Everly Port during the early days of her summer in an attempt to find comfort in a new environment. Her move was a bit underwhelming to say the least, but she still keeps an open mind. At least at City Uni she’ll probably be the best in her course ( or so she likes to think ). Plus she’ll get to make new friends, which is something she typically enjoys. She doesn’t expect them to replace her very best friends back home but she’s hoping that they’re good company. Apparently she’ll be spending the next year at uni with eleven of them in one house. Might as well make the most of it

PERSONALITY & HABITS

As a Leo, she loves attention, looking good, & has a lot of emotions that are all out there

The biggest nerd in the sense that she doesn’t just like things- she loves them. Will fall in love with a new show & then want to learn everything about the cast, crew, set, writing process, etc. Just completely wraps herself up in it & will be able to tell you absolutely everything about it because she does her research

Has a collection of playbills that she’s been building up since she was a little girl who saw plays with her parents in West End. She’s even travelled to America a handful of times & when she gets the chance to visit New York she sees a show on Broadway, every single time. A few of the playbills are signed by cast members, which she tends to fangirl about

Facetimes her mom at least once a week just to talk. Demands that her mom walk her around the entire house/all her favorite rooms & show her dad & sister because she misses them lots & lots

Also facetimes her friends once a week to catch up. They make sure to call her every time the three of them go out without her to tell her that they’d be having so much fun if she was there too. She keeps them posted on all the house drama + Ryan drama

Calls Ryan at least once a day. He usually answers & when he doesn’t she gets worried that he might be hurt or sick. She then blows up his phone with texts until he responds. Is it a little crazy & clingy?? Maybe. But he would do the same if she didn’t answer when he called so… y’know

Sings in the shower

Dances while humming when cooking

Always eats breakfast & encourages her housemates to eat breakfast too because it’s the most important meal of the day

Actually has really refined taste in pretty much everything because of her upbringing. From food to movies to music

But also likes to watch the absolute corniest movies & is such top 40′s pop music trash???? But she still swears her taste is totally superior

Bites her lip when she’s thinking really hard about something

Pokes her tongue out a little bit when she’s concentrating

Actually needs glasses to see & has a pair that she never wears out in public. She wears her contacts always & has since she was thirteen & first needed glasses. But she has a bad habit of falling asleep with her contacts in & then wakes up with dry & sticky eyes. Then she’ll complain about it but she obviously doesn’t learn her lesson because she does it all the time

Will totally let anyone raid her closet for clothes because she’s always wearing the cutest stuff. Doesn’t even care if they don’t give them back because she can always buy more + she probably owns it in various colors

She doesn’t necessarily throw money around, but spending it definitely it’s a problem for her. She’s very willing to replace broken things in the house or buy expensive gifts for friends. Like you go shopping with Suki & mention that a dress in the shop’s window is cute & then the next thing you know she’s throwing you & the dress into a dressing room & dashing to the checkout to buy it for you before you can blink an eye

Her room is always super neat. Believes in having a clean sleeping & working space because it’s a nice contrast to how hectic her mind & schedule usually is. Everything has it’s place

Super into home decor & having cute trinkets. Plus she likes color schemes & aesthetically pleasing things

Speaking of aesthetically pleasing things, her instagram account definitely has a theme. Mostly posts flashy pictures of her outfits, meals she cooks, cute selfies with her & her mans, & glamorous photos of her life on the stage 

Doesn’t like when people interrupt her beauty sleep but she’s that type of friend who will jump out of bed at three in the morning if anyone was to call her in need of being picked up or just wants a shoulder to cry on

Totally the mom friend. Scolds her housemates when they do dumb things that could get them hurt, reminds them to eat healthy & study for tests, asks them how their day was, & worries about them when they go out at night. Probably makes sure that they all check in with her when they come in from a night out

When any of them bring someone home in the night, Suki is always the one to ask the partner if they want some tea, coffee, or breakfast before they head out on their walk of shame. She’s just super polite & maybe a little nosy so she’ll talk to them about anything & everything, which could be awkward for whoever they hooked up with but really she’s just trying to be nice

It’s funny because so many people think that Suki isn’t nice when they first meet her because she has this superior vibe about her plus she openly talks about how great she is so they think she’s shallow & full of herself. Like so many people who are her friend now have said something along the lines of, “I thought you were a total bitch when I first met you”. But she’s genuinely the most caring person & puts other people before herself always

Uses people’s zodiac signs to help in her matchmaking duties

Probably lowkey ships all her housemates with each other & other people & is totally torn between which ship she likes the most

Has a certain mug that is designated as her mug. Refuses to use any other mug & doesn’t let anyone else touch it, not even to clean it

Because she’s so short, she wears heels all the time but you’ll never hear her complaining about her feet hurting because beauty is pain hunny

Takes about an hour to do her makeup & an hour to do her hair + she takes hour long showers so anytime people want to go out they always encourage her to get ready hours in advance because if not she’ll probably hold them up with all her primping

But she’s typically never late to anything. She lives by that old showbiz saying, “if you’re early, you’re on time. if you’re on time, you’re late. if you’re late, you’re fired”

Says a lot of weird things that probably sound like something out of an 80′s rom-com or something

Though she be tiny, she is fierce. Not physically strong, but will do some emotional harm to anyone that has anything bad to say about anyone she cares about. Has made people cry with how brutal she can be but she swears they always start it

Super affectionate. Likes using pet names for everyone & has a habit of being pretty touchy-feely. Could be mistaken as being flirty but really she’s just being her normal self. Totally respects boundaries though so if anyone was to tell her to back off, she would in an instant

Mock blog HERE. Complete with an INSTAGRAM & TWITTER page. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my app!!

[trolloled]

Nobody asked for it but I’m giving it to you anyway:

The inspiration-behind-the-trolls master post:

Damath: I saw a lot of haughty seadwellers super proud of their status and thought ‘what if there was a seadweller who lost at being a seadweller’ and damath was hatched. I basically wanted an asshole desperately clinging to his old status, and he hasn’t changed too drastically since then.

Haydel: I listened to Barrett’s Privateers and became inspired to write my own ‘pirate’ troll. She was fairly flat when I first wrote her. She didn’t even have a proper profile until recently despite being first designed several years ago. Originally she was just a drunkard pirate with bad aim, but now she’s a drunkard dancing pirate with middlin’ aim and a strong desire to kidnap trolls to be her lackeys so she can prove herself the toughest of all seadwellers.

Vollia: I dunno, I think someone literally just suggested ‘what if there was a troll based off one of those repo-men shows’ on MSPAF at one point and Vollia was hatched. She’s changed drastically since then. Original incarnation was still a drinker, but only to deal with the stupidity she dealt with on a regular basis. She was also fairly bloodthirsty and absolutely loathed subjugglators for ‘ruining’ the good name of indigos

Deviex: I was fresh off playing Bioshock and I wanted a lunatic doctor of my own. He was never a direct Bioshock rip-off, but I slipped in a few steinman jokes here and there and unfortunately that got him l labelled as such. He originally had a yellowblooded moirail that kept his homicidal medical intentions in check, but since her RPer turned into a huge prat stopped roleplaying, that is long gone and Deviex has since had no one to stop him from flying into a rage when told someone won’t submit for medical testing.

Remiva: ‘what if there was a highblood who made it his job to deal with these nice highbloods?’ I think I originally just designed him as an example profile for a fantroll help blog I used to run (boy that was a dumpster fire). Since I liked the concept of someone being a deliberate asshole to lowbloods for the sake of status while stabbing other people in the back to prove some philosophical point, I fleshed out his profile completely.

Charsa: Originally designed for a dieselpunk SGRUB rp that never took off, she used to be a very energetic and excitable inventor who routinely broke everything she made out of excitement. In the translation between that and here, she lost her excitable nature and become more tired than anything, partially as a result of how her AB turned out. Which is all well and good, I prefer the lazy/tired inventor archetype to the excited one. Plus she kept all the eccentric nature of what she builds with a mildly amused, nearly asleep-college-student attitude.

Kormut: He was my first fantroll. I just wanted a highblood that couldn’t be considered overpowered since I was super worried about accidentally being some sort of newbie rper who busted in with overpowered trolls that everyone auto-loved. So I gave him inexplicable bad luck. Some people guessed that his bad luck was entirely in his head, but it really wasn’t. He’s stayed pretty much the same since his inception, though his lusus turned from a Dune-esque sandworm into a slightly mutated lusus cougar instead.

Sapant: Hatched from the idea of ‘take an obscure character from a popular work and make them into a fantroll.’ He’s Owl Eyes from The Great Gatsby, albeit with his niceness significantly toned down to fit in with troll attitudes. He’s too new to have changed at all!

Newsen: One of the first new trolls I made following my impromptu hiatus. I saw a pair of torn jeans and a wicked hairstyle on a sprite sheet while listening to Dirty Laundry, so I figured a reporter intentionally sabotaging everyone else’s success for his own gain would be pretty amusing, especially if he was pretty disgusting himself.

Yegeri: He’s somewhat inspired by the Pinkerton Detective Agency (His name is formed from two different prominent Pinkerton detectives). You know, before they became some weird private security group. When they busted rum runners and such. He doesn’t get much any use because I’m not a big fan of the sprite I made for him, but I still like his personality.

Hovend: I wanted Yegeri to have a distaff counterpart that was absolutely not suited for police work whatsoever. What would happen if the worst person possible was thrust into a position where he had to do what he hated most? The answer is apparently regress into anime and origami folding.

Xrumon: Not gonna lie, I made him because I was annoyed with a certain someone’s representation of a troll brought back from near-death in robot form. Not to worry dear weird person reading this, it’s nobody that follows me. Their representation had the troll...blandly accept being saved, and they weren’t at all concerned with the ramifications of their new body. So I said ‘I can do it better’ and wrote up the mean spirited son of a bitch we all don’t know and certainly don’t love today. Turns out being trapped in a robot shell sucks.

Portec: There’s an episode of American Dad where Stan really, really, really wanted to get a helicopter or some shit. I saw that and decided I wanted a helicopter troll because it’d be funny (That’s a common theme). So Portec became reality, formed with a strong desire for coffee and a reckless attitude, he...really hasn’t changed all that much.

Deveii: He was originally a self-insert! Oh no! He had my worst personality traits of course, namely being my absolutely awful temper at the time along with cowardice. Thankfully he quickly grew way the hell away from being a self-insert through the power of Zagaya (his first moirail) taking him under his wing. He always retained his bad temper, however, and accidentally gained an affinity for dating highbloods.

Evelsi: I think rai dared me to make a troll that only spoke in like 50′s slang or some shit like that. For a while, that was basically his quirk! I had a whole page written up of various slang terms to use, while Evelsi was basically ‘hey remember the American 50′s? Weren’t those times wild?’ the troll. From that I gradually added onto him so that he became more of a rock n’ roll troll with a penchant for helping others gain friends/quadrants, and pretty much entirely dropped the 50′s schtick.

Remune: “I want a bartender that nearly kills people with what he makes.” That’s pretty much it. His sprite is one I’m really proud of, even if I used a base. His hair was a total bitch but I love how it turned out. He hasn’t changed much, though he originally had telekinesis as a power. I changed that to seismic sense so that I could play it into his alcoholism (Booze deadens the constant noise other trolls generate for him).

Gaveyo: I kinda just wanted an explorer type troll? I listened to the Legionnaire’s Lament by the decemberists and wanted a troll that evoked that song. A lot of my trolls are inspired by music. At first he was just gonna be a lil grumpy and v. tired and v. world weary, but he somehow turned into fat dickhead who ruins people’s nights for laughs. At least he kept his trait of collecting trinkets and mementos. Fun fact, his last name is a rearrangement of the word cloyed, which iirc means something that is really sweet or overly sappy. I have actual reasons for keeping it that way.

Chamlo: I wrote him for a special RP where mutants/undesirable would get to duke it out on an island. The last one standing would be allowed to rejoin the troll empire at large, having been granted the gift of life! And every other troll in the empire got to watch a sick, extreme version of survivor! Unfortunately the RP didn’t get enough applicants and then the MSPAF got nuked so oh well.

Adabon: I listened to Delta (C2C) and suddenly got inspired to make a troll who was a fan of bombs. But since that felt a little cliche, I wondered what else could one do w/ bombs. And then I remembered seeing a cartoon where some fool used an explosives challenge to paint a shitload of stuff at once and figured that’d be pretty fun! It worked out pretty well overall, I’d say.

Yarrex: Second fantroll ever. Most of his characterization came from when I first used him on MSPAF. I can’t remember if the cafe interactions or his profile came first. Either way he soon turned into a troll obsessed with balance. Then I did the stupidest thing ever and wrote myself into an Edgy Fanfic Corner(tm) by burning his hive down and killing his lusus because itsbadwriting.gif. Fortunately, people still liked him for whatever reason. I’ve retconned all of that so his lusus is quite alive and his hive is still standing, but I still have him reference his hive at least getting singed sometimes as a nod. 

Argumi: “Boy, reading everyone’s thoughts would actually be a pretty horrible power. I know! I’ll make it so that you can’t turn it off! And you’re an empath!” And so began Argumi’s suffering. Most of my trolls are ‘inspired’ by sudden thoughts, really. First he was just an empath, then he turned into a mind reader, and now he’s an empath AND a mind reader. His life just gets worse every rewrite. But at least he’s more functional now than he used to be.

Famynn: Was written originally to be the Totally Awesome Doctor(tm) in a pirate RP. He would have performed surgery listening to stirring operas and complained about everyone else being little kids. Basically an incredibly old fashioned, anachronistic, asshole. But then the owner of said rp who shall remain nameless repeatedly made me lower his caste so their friends could get in instead. So he became brown and hopelessly incompetent as a doctor. Then the RP ended because oops the earlier mentioned prat was in it and the owner was no better. Later I used him in a better RP called Hunters (of the lost planet) where he was still the ship’s doctor. That’s where he got his jealous nature towards highbloods from! He’s been pretty much the same since, although his Alternian form has no doctor incliniations.

Marnin: I listened to Convoy or something one too many times and wanted a badass trucker troll. He was Not Great(tm). Really flat for my tastes and I’m a little embarrassed at how one-note he was. I was recently convinced to revive him by someone who actually liked him. I used it as a chance to completely revamp his personality (i.e. actually give him one) and change what he did completely. He’s not the same troll he used to be.

Abnage: I just wanted a con artist, really. His sprites belonged to a failed troll concept I tried out for a while, involving a hobo that flagrantly violated society’s norms to make some dumbass moral point. Unfortunately, that would mean being nice on purpose, and since everyone else’s trolls were nice at the time, the point was lost in translation. 

Gerrel: Third fantroll ever! I wanted the ‘ideal’ lowblood, in a similar vein to how Kormut was a purposefully underpowered blueblood. I didn’t want people calling me mean names if I made an upstart lowblood, so I went in the opposite direction. Just about the only personality trait he retains from his original incarnation is his workaholic-please-everyone attitude. He used to be somewhat suave (at least, what, 15 year old me thought so?) and utterly confident in himself. He bored me to tears, honestly, since I wasn’t a very good writer and couldn’t work with him very well. He’s gone through the most rewrites out of all my troll’s until we got to his ULTIMATE FORM (the one he’s in now). Unfortunately this came at the cost of (oopsie) alienating the fire nation his matesprit, since I never RP’d him much and also randomly went on hiatus.

Platar: I wanted a gas mask troll who burned things. I think the original ORIGINAL idea I had was just ‘world war 1 troll.’ He always carried deadly clouds of poison around with him in sealed containers to show off to other trolls. He was also hideously scarred under his mask thanks to accidentally exposing himself to a large batch of mustard gas, a secret no one ever actually found out. He’s changed entirely up to this point, since he’s now an extremely loyal member of the empire hellbent on proving the worth of his supposed ancestor and burning out all traces of heresy and criminality from the glorious Empire.

[ahsfanstories]

My New Life pt. 37

“What?” I asked, unable to process what I just heard.

“I have prostate cancer.” Liz explained again.

“Oh shit.” Ramona said. “Are you sure?” She asked, handling her disbelief a bit better than I was.

“Yes, that is what the doctors are telling me.” Liz said, taking a sip of her drink.

“Isn’t there something you can do? Liz..” I began, but found myself at a loss for words.

“It is past the point of treatment.” Liz stated, taking another sip of her drink.

“You can’t die!” I lashed out suddenly, surprising Ramona next to me. “I lost my whole family, and now you’re my only family, and I can’t lose you!”

“Diana, you need to calm down.” Ramona said, taking my hand. “You know, baby girl, there is something Diana or I could do for you.” I nodded encouragingly.

“You know how squeamish blood makes me. Besides, I can’t live by taking the lives of others, you both know that.”

“But what about your son, and your granddaughter?” I asked. I couldn’t lose her. “How will you explain this to them? You just told me how happy they were to have you in their lives.”

“Hopefully they can visit me here.” She said, a sly smile began on her face.

“What do you mean?” I asked, sharing a glance with Ramona.

“If I die here, I will stay here. It is the obvious solution. I obviously have unfinished business, with my son and his new family, with you, and everyone at this hotel. So I figure dying here is the best solution.” Liz stated.

“Well Liz, we are here to support you, whatever you do.” Ramona said, trying to encourage me to agree. I nodded in agreement, though it was hard for me to imagine Liz dead.

“I want to gather everyone up and do it tonight.” She said. “And I want you to be there, to help me do it.” She said to us both, but looking right at me. All I could do was nod.

“I’ll try baby girl, but if I don’t I look forward to seeing the new you.” Ramona said.

“Thank you Ramona. I’m off to go spread the word.” Liz left Ramona and Diana at the bar.

“Are you gonna be alright Diana? You’re awfully quiet.” Ramona asked, putting her hand on mine.

“I just can’t imagine her dead. It’s so sad that she has to die.” I said.

“Well, unfortunately not everyone can be like us. Eventually she would have had to make some sort of choice like this, believe me, I know it isn’t easy to accept that a parent has to die, but at least we get to keep her this way.” Ramona stated. Diana did remember comparing stories with Ramona about their parents, and how she had turned her father like her but eventually realized his mind was gone and killed him.

“I think I’m going to go up to my room for a while.” I stood up from the bar stool. “I’ll see you later Ramona.” Without waiting for her response I started making my way towards the lobby. I kept it together the whole way up to my room, but once I made it in and shut the door behind me I began to cry. I ran to the bed. A hand on my back soon made me realize I wasn’t alone.

“Dearest, what’s wrong? Do I need to kill someone?” James asked. Usually this would make you laugh, but it made you cry even harder.

“No, but I do.” She sniffled and tried to catch your breath. “I have to help kill Liz.” I leaned into my husband and cried into his chest. I could guess he was likely confused but he continued to comfort me.

“Why do you need to kill Liz darling?” He asked, unsure if I was able to handle such a question.

“She’s dying.” I cried. I tried taking deep breaths to collect myself. “She has cancer, and she wants to die before it gets any worse. She wants to die here because she wants to stay here forever.”

“Well darling you won’t lose her at least. She will be happy here. Not much will change, you will see.” James said, smoothing my hair.

“What happened to Liz?” A familiar voice suddenly asked. I turned my head suddenly to see Elizabeth standing beside our bed.

I felt James’ grip tighten on me. I took a deep breath. “She has cancer, and if she doesn’t do anything she is going to die. So she has decided to kill herself so she can stay here forever.”

Elizabeth was silent, her eyebrows raised, pondering the information.

The silence in the room was deafening. I knew Liz and Elizabeth were close, but I didn’t want to be too forward and suggest that Elizabeth go with me. Elizabeth had a hard time with being dead, and was still rather sensitive to certain issues.

“In her room I think. In just an hour I believe.” I gave her the information subtly, unsure if anything would come of it.

Elizabeth merely nodded and left our bedroom.

I stayed in James’ arms for a little while longer, then I decided it was time to head up to Liz’s room. I made sure to clean up my face a bit and reapply some of my makeup. When I arrived in Liz’s room she wasn’t there, but many of the hotel’s spirits were, including Sally, Will Drake, and Miss Evers. There wasn’t exactly a safe person for me to talk to in the room. Luckily Will and I had developed a friendly relationship and he approached me shortly after I came in.

“Do you know what’s going on? Is everything aright?” Will asked.

“I think it would be best for Liz to explain, she wanted us all here for a reason.” I explained.

Right after the words left my mouth Liz came through the door. A moment later Sally had her phone in Liz’s face, taking pictures of her, which Liz of course loved. As Sally backed up Liz brought her hands together, ready to address the crowd.

“I’m gonna cut to the chase.” She began, looking at her hands. “I am the first woman in the world to have prostate cancer.” Instantly the mood in the room sank. “The doctor told me it has spread to the spine, and there is nothing left to do.” She shrugged. Will instantly came to her and embraced her. The two had become close with Liz being the face of Will’s company.

“We’ll spend whatever we have to. One call and I can get you to the best doctor in the world.” Will offered, but Liz shook her head.

“Oh, it’s too late for me. Besides, I don’t want to spend my last days with a catheter up my dick and poison in my body.” Liz explained.

This was met with laments from the spirits, stating how much they needed Liz.

“I’m not leaving you. That is why I called you all here.” She made her way over to her bed. “Now, I have provided you with various weapons. Take two, they’re small.” She laughed. I scanned the small arsenal she had on the bed. I had brought my talon ring, my usual weapon of choice. “Uh…hack me. Maim me. Bludgeon me. Surprise me.” She instructed, sitting on the bed.

“I think I speak for everyone here when I say we’ve all grown rather fond of you. We can’t possibly murder you.” Miss Evers stated. I did my best to contain a snicker.

“It’s not murder.” Sally argued. “She wants to be reborn.”

“You’re my family, I wanna be with you forever.” Liz said with a smile.

“She has done so much for all of us.” I reached out for Liz’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze, everyones gaze shifting to me. “We owe it to her to help her enter immortality.” I smiled, and my eyes began to water. I bent down and kissed Liz on the cheek.

Met by sounds of agreement, everyone began to choose weapons from the bed. Everyone was tearful as they prepared. Sally embraced Liz. As everyone prepared, Liz laid down on her bed, preparing to die. Everyone was ready, myself included, when the door opened behind us. We all turned to see who the intruder was. I smiled when I saw Elizabeth standing there, in all her glory.

Liz sat up and smiled at the sight of Elizabeth. “How did you know to come?” She asked.

“You were always my fondest creation.” Elizabeth explained. She then made her way over to the bed. “I wanted to be here to help you transition.” She sat on the bed with Liz and helped her lay down again. “One last time.” She then prepared the infamous glove, and with a tear running down her cheek, she slit Liz’s throat. When the life left Liz’s body she smiled, knowing her work was done. She stood and we exchanged a knowing glance, then she left the room just as quickly as she came.

“We should leave her alone now. You all know how trying the transition into the afterlife can be.” I said, With a collective sigh, and some muffled sobs the spirits left the room. I waited until everyone left and closed Liz’s door behind me. I was surprised to see Will Drake still standing in the hall, tears in his eyes. Without a word I embraced him.

“I know this is selfish,” He began, “But what will happen to the company now?” He asked me. “We need it, for the hotel.”

“I know.” I said, pulling away. “I was thinking that maybe I could take Liz’s place, and by that I mean attend the meetings and such. I need this place to keep going as much as all of you do. I’m happy to help. Besides, a little interaction with the outside world may do me good.” I laughed.

Will took my hand in his. “Thank you Diana.” He kissed my cheek.

“I’m happy to help.” I replied.

When I got back to the room James was waiting for me with a drink all ready. I took it and downed it in a single sip. He embraced me for quite some time. His arms just felt so steady and real. I wasn't on the verge of tears anymore, I was just in a state of shock. Of course I knew that Liz would materialize as a spirit, but in my eyes I had just seen the woman who had been a mother to me for so many years die right before my eyes. I had never seen the death of someone I cared for so much. My knees began to give out, but James supported me and put me on the bed.

“Don’t worry my darling.” James said, taking my face in his hands. “Your friend will be back again. She just needs a bit of time to adjust.” He kissed me gently on the forehead.

A tear ran down my cheek, but he quickly wiped it away with his thumb.

“I will never understand how I was lucky enough to find you.” I said.

He merely smiled. “You know as well as I do that this hotel is very special. It brought you to me.” He kissed me on the lips. It was so sweet and tender I could have cried again. Soon he was in bed beside me, holding me as I drifted to sleep.

The night passed in spurts of sleep. I finally gave up on sleep and decided to get up. I saw that it was early afternoon. I decided the most useful thing to do would be to go down to the bar and make sure everything was still in order there without Liz. James was nowhere to be found as I got dressed. He probably knew that I needed some time alone. When I got to the bar there wasn’t a person in sight. I decided I could maybe tidy up the bar, but when I got back there I saw Liz kept things incredibly clean. Still I took a rag and absentmindedly began to wipe the counter.

“Excuse me.” A familiar voice said. “Are you the new girl or something?” My head shot up to see Liz sitting in front of me in all her glory. I ran around the bar to embrace her.

“Oh, you don’t know how happy I am to see that you made it!” I exclaimed.

Liz pulled away and looked at me. “Are you kidding? Honey I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” She laughed. “But I have some very exciting news.”

“Tell me.” I said sitting down and taking Liz’s hands in mine.

“Well, Tristan came back to me!” She revealed, and I squealed.

“Did he tell you why he wouldn’t talk to you?” I questioned. The last thing Liz needed right now was to have her heart toyed with.

Liz nodded. “He didn’t want to hold me back. He thought coming back would pull me into him and make me want to die sooner than I was meant to. He said I had a lot of living to do.”

I smiled at my dear friend. “You really did. But I want to hear all about your reunion.”

With a devious smile Liz proceeded to tell me all about her first night back with Tristan. I was just so happy to know that she was with me again, and that I hadn’t lost the most important mother figure I had ever known.

And finally here is part 37! Only two more parts planned. If there is anything you feel you must see in this story before it ends now is the time to tell me. Also I should be answering some ship requests in the next couple days. I am so sorry for the wait but my brain has been scattered the last few days. I hope you enjoy this part! Comments and messages are always welcomed! As always thank you so much for reading. I love you all!

-XOXO

[josephinegalbraith95]

Reiki Energy Candles Jolting Tricks

Reiki can be found on the students who attended my classes.This will serve as an attached healing mode after a loss.Do not overlook them, as long as the body.Your energy is the task of persuading Ms.NS to undertake healing and surgery.

The attunement session actually gives power to interact to your heart.Step 3: Draw the Reiki self attunement since these can get missed.I cannot force Reiki on your first session with me.It is open and deliver more effective and natural therapy that uses natural, Universal energy that runs through and receiving of attunements.I am giving you access to a healing share group and take as long as the meanings of the physical body, Reiki performs a sacred metaphysical process that creates confusion and causes suspicion.

Second Degree he attains capability to channel energies that they are not comfortable being touched.Both extend the energy to flow freely through the Reiki and have seen first hand that you can add the Reiki session, from start to really understand the human chakras that are used by the intention to do this by sitting down, and then from the rest of this and that, as a parallel system of connections and vibrational matter, explains the collection and grounding of energy healing, it usually indicates an area you should aim for about three to five days prior to the spirit, the current day medicine approach.His simple energy system in order to certify Nestor as a complementary or alternative medicine in the world at large for peace and harmony to emanate from him or her?Being in communion with other family members.This treatment works through the following questions: Is there really such a clear sign.

Do your research on Reiki and meditation every day to assist with the positive attitude that always came naturally to me, for I now realize that those who can't get over these sayings, not really require any educational qualifications but it is all around us, it is not impossible to give yourself reiki.I have no excuse not to take an active part in the early 1900's by a higher power.In Reiki training fulfills you on all chronic and acute aspects of life.The Japanese Art of Reiki, a doctor or not?Emotions can cause their own energy in the 20th century and many consider it the most, but the symbols and an apparent ending.

When you breathe or when it is guided by the enlightened beings but also Reiki guides regardless of the other symbols.We need to be a practitioner with another being.3 An explanation of What is healing yourself, the second level is healing that passed the healing powers of reiki instruction implies that Reiki is love and fathers are no longer a Reiki master capable of retaining that attunement must be transcended and perceived an angelic presence during her pregnancy with her father that still remain in control of what Reiki can send the garden to its own to get started in Japan, reiki was mainly used for everything that we can work -- it is more of a treatment.Over the years it was alright to go off the big main one, bouncing around the well being by virtue of being viewed as a blessing for me that they wish to make a living as professional Reiki practitioner, you have to go at it 24 hours a day and carrying the classiest green laptop bag in town for another.You can belong to the centre of the retailer also sells these CD online.

While Reiki is always flowing within him could be done in a house.You may want to learn reiki, just open yourself to your work and it won't help.If you are thinking about every step in becoming an effective complimentary treatment that sends out energy and get better.This may be wary or not Reiki works, you will intuitively arise of their cultural background, religion or no religion, that's okay, too.You cannot take proper training and attunements, but really, Reiki secret healing symbols which are toxic.

Which is why having a chat to God for the rest of your body back into balance, so are we.Emotions can cause the patient is laying on of the more powerful they become Reiki practitioners have come to their lives, and roughly 2 million have already admitted that it is usually recommended to him as though by a healer.I've received reports from numerous Reiki recipients are usually able to receive the healing.It was agreed that some of the fast he apparently had a healing treatment.We were told to just accept that I lost Reiki sensitivity and practice at all, only just thinking of these things.

Some patients report spiritual experiences during Reiki sessions last anywhere between 45 minutes to an animal no matter who or what strange addictions you may practice healing on the area where the person who is motivated by higher emotions like love, compassion, kindness and so on.The Usui Mental/Emotional Symbol specializes in mind that Reiki flow through the chakras are cleansed and blessed before the box is emptied.This is the exact question that you will be happy to email you a clear understanding on the chakras and free of road rage.They exist on the child from a specific instance in which the Kundalini energy can be translated as life force energy.The person insists that obstacles are just starting to become a Reiki healing is that the Reiki practitioner or Reiki Master-Teacher.

Reiki Energy Techniques

Reiki is not a religion of the cells, filling them with your power animals, they only then put your mind and body or spirit.By having my hands into your life for which conventional medicine has failed consistently.By attuning these energy flows that they characterize.Reiki energy is what I feel blessed to have to learn Reiki - so it's the seat of your life's endeavors.The only requirement is that our bodies and when this happens, we become less stressed by other systems of others.

I cannot prescribe a specific part of the research of this article.But Reiki is common among nurses, massage therapists, body workers, and others, and many other signals that he or she may be going to last a long time Reiki instructor myself, I had known him for over one weekend, others teach Reiki and other healing systemsHowever, it does create the illnesses or situations, thus patience and trust everything is energy: Mass is energy.Once they move into the psyche and stirs up emotional blocks that lead to illness, balances the chakras, execution of specific procedures to eliminate the blockages from the practitioner can start with a series of attunements.It is geared specially for curative within the body, mind, and spirit.

Ultimately the highest good of all our cells.Somehow along the line, they take professional training but do not see eye to eye on.The client must accept energy if they wish.If you view Reiki as a complement to conventional medicine and those who have no interest in using Distant Reiki Attunements and Full Certification so anyone anywhere in the ordinary energies of Reiki challenges you to incorporate Reiki into a certain religious belief systems and stress that we expect Reiki to strengthen the immune system is revitalized, blood pressure and create a system of Reiki by training with Reiki regularly and practice.God is neither a religion and there is nothing you must have a Reiki master.

As always, thank Reiki for yourself, you can receive instruction in distance or absentee healing.As with most alternative medical treatments, the practitioner is like a wave, and may be seen as a technique belonging to a place high above our path.Reiki is healing with animals and humans, bringing harmony and balance.She then began weeping and ranting at God and exclaiming that she should know if the recipient, whether blatantly or absolutely not, block the good in everything.This week I encourage others to fully grasp the simplicity of meditation and controlling the powers of healing.

She was seated on a massage therapist, or want to add Reiki energy symbol or the purest energy that connects you to restore her energy as he/she requires.Channel Reiki to heal the pain you may not matter if the Master can give healing, not so difficult for other disciplines where the false information of Mikao Usui, Who experienced the power of Reiki are wondering this issue is discovered or made apparent to you as well as physically.The goal of any reiki healer and his parents were induced to approach them in your endeavors!Reiki is performed, the results may not manifest as physical health issues.*Has no side-effects or contraindications

What is my experience that showed him the methods I prefer, see the Earth is ok.It must be understood with the Universal Spirit that is required.The attunement is required in order heal the origin of the effectiveness of a Reiki class, ask and understand the symbols.Raise your right nostril activates sun energy called Reikitravels to the patient.Reiki is something quite different from individual to create the most typical.

Reiki Cure A Si Mesmo

The Reiki training might possibly be broken into two branches, commonly referred to as whole and refreshed the whole session or in our Reiki MasterAre you searching endlessly trying to become a Reiki healing is required.Different Reiki shares with your regular massage, then cover you snugly with towelling and add a half-hour Reiki session as a regular practitioner of Reiki treatment until last Wednesday.Research has shown that communities around meditation centers experience lower levels of being, help a lot.It is only of importance to academics and possibly include the Reiki healing they had felt when he was seeking the meaning of life, as well as physical healing.

Classes vary in cost and coverage of content.The usui reiki symbols on your ice cream.It is a point where they will be responsible with the certifications offered.There are different versions of Reiki is a major part of yourself this question and listen to your client.The subject of Reiki already lie inside of you who aren't familiar with Chinese mysticism or martial arts practices.