#and cannot function at all

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

[izzystizzys]

TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog

“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”

High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”

Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.

Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.

“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”

“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.

High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.

Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”

“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”

Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”

“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.

“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.

He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-

Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.

Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.

Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!

And catch him, High General Windu sure did.

“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”

“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.

“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”

“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.

Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”

[love-3-crimes]

something about un-roamed paths idk

[izzyspussy]

the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.

[cantdealwiththisnow]

Part 1 - Appreciation post for all the TFP universe Autobot mugshot cameos (known and unknown) in RID2015 3x25 (even if the context is that they've been OUSTED against their will)

[al-luviec]

zane + nya parallels

[rainbow-beanie]

Instead of constantly worrying about current events, I think we should instead look forward to something much more exciting in my opinion…

MASTERMIND IS THIS MONTH!! Let’s try to focus on the fact blitz and stolas are gonna reunite in this episode, (also blitz protecting stolas, that’s HIS bird you asshole)

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

soukoku's brand of trust where it's so not obvious yet painfully clear to everyone at the same time.

like at first everyone in the cast might see them and actually buy how much they hate each other but one mission later they're convinced skk can read each other's minds and are so intuned with one another they can find each other deaf, dumb and blind.

chuuya will let himself be swept up in a flood and be played at the side of a madman, knowing dazai has a plan, that he'll make sure they both oull through. dazai will sit and keep an unwavering stare down the barrel of a gun and let his partner fire it into his skull, with all the confidence that chuuya will not let him die.

and everyone thinks there's no blind faith because there's only deeply familiar trust; they know every part of each other, they understand each other, they can pinpoint the ins and outs of their partner's thoughts and feelings, they know how to read each other, know what makes them tick. and so everyone else in their lives thinks their trust is the trust between two halves of a single soul that is familiar with the other enough to place their lives in a rival's hands.

what they don't see is what goes even further, where they wordlessly bare to each other the parts that aren't known. chuuya will surrender his soul to unleash a being of calamity with only the belief that dazai will bring him back, save his life, stop him from razing the world to the ground.

dazai will reach out his hand to a boy he barely knows with solid faith that they will beat this enemy together, he will openly laugh until he's teary-eyed, express his worries, and his blatant shock, share his musings out loud without a facade of an all-knowing genius who doesn't struggle to understand his foes.

i don't even know where i was going with this but they make me INSANE

[lambment]

Can we ask about Kallamar’s spouses? How many does he have??? Are they happy??? Is he a good partner?

even I dont know how many spouses Kallamar has.

you didnt hear this from me, but he has health and dental benefits.

[feelo-fick]

PRANK GONE WRONG!!! ( real ) ( not clickbait )

weirdly defensive.

[bamsara]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgauhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuhghgg

[hellenhighwater]

Hmm....how hard can large scale mosaic possibly be? I feel like my plans for the room I'm working on could use something really shiny and impactful and maybe I want to make a fold-down cutting table and maybe I want to do it out of mosaic, even though that will be ungodly heavy.

It's a fun idea. I'm not sure if it's a good idea.

I haven't done mosaic since a one-off high school art class but I feel like the component skills are ones I already have, sooooo....

I have been keeping to a blue and gold celestial theme for both my guest room and my art workspaces, because if and when I move those spaces are likely to be combined. Cutting table, even though it would be for a different room, falls in the same vein, so I'm thinking something with a nice dark night sky and maybe some branches or leaves...

[hereforthehitsbaby]

What’s that sound, you may ask? That’s me screeching!

Credit to dilfscum on TikTok

[sparklecarehospital]

everyone has full right to clown on the old website because i swear i hate it as much as everyone else. i swear. looking back at it, as i work on the new site now, i'm realizing functionality-wise and interface-wise and basically on every level it's borderline unusable. and jesus i'm so fucking sorry how could i make anyone go through this /SILLY /SILLY /SILLY /THIS IS LH

[presleysgirl6]

Bought a vintage Elvis magazine and had to share some of the pictures of this sweet boy that own my heart 🥹💖🫶🏻🎞️

[27-roses]

Just a small random rant about Yassen and the casting for the series~

Something I love about the tv adaptation's change from the books, was the casting and description for Yassen. It was so different, and no matter what, I couldn't ever dislike it.

In the books, Yassen is described as having light blond hair, fair skin and an athletic build like that of a dancer. In the movie he has red hair and fair skin, again looking athletic but not exactly like how he is described in the books. However, in the tv series, he has dark hair, much more pigment, and his body looks, well, not perfect by standards. He has a normal looking appearance. Not rugged abs that you can see through his shirt or bulky muscles. Instead, he has toned arms but not that slim or thick. His torso is trim, but you can see the vaguest hint of a belly. Yassen isn't, by visual, some ripped, rugged assassin with a crazy build. Instead, he looks like an average person. He looks real. He looks like someone you would run into at a coffee shop on the way home from work. And I love this. I am not trying to shame or point out Thomas Levin's body in any negative way, but to embrace how he fits the role of Yassen. His normalcy in the role of such a complex and wonderful character is incredible, especially in season three when we get more domestic and personal scenes involving Alex and Yassen. It feels so much more believable and developed than if he were "model" perfect, if that makes sense.

I also want to point out how the current Yassen is different from the younger one. In addition to finding out what is expected of him, what he has to do, what he is capable of, what he is taught by John: we can also see how the world and his work changed him. By his mannerisms, we can see through just a few flashbacks the major differences. How he speaks is calmer, more like John in the fact that he is causal no matter the situation. He never shows people what he is really thinking through his tone or expressions apart from a few times when we almost catch a glimpse, and he stops himself (mainly when talking to Alex). He "knows his place." His confidence makes everyone stop in awe, uncomfortable, scared; unsure. Every inch of his body conveys his character in the smallest ways. I love it so very much. Hats off to those who did the casting. Hats off to Thomas Levin. Thank you for making one of my favorite characters even better.